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freminet-writings · 6 months

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freminet x an archon male! reader? so we’re the hydro archon instead of furina basically (still just as over-the-top ofc). basically after totally exposing them in the opera house we go to apologise and meet freminet and it’s just BOOM instant LOVEEEEE moment. then just general hc’s of freminet dating a literal god and also how the whole of fontaine and ‘Father’ would react to it? (can’t imagine all those eyes on freminet would be very easy on him so some comfort would be cute) idk let your imagination go wild i’ll be happy with anything! 🩵 (ESPECIALLY smexy time at the end ykyk 😩😩)

fuckass app crashed when i was writing and it got deleted 💀💀 i hate this place

after you embarrassingly got all your evidence debunked and realized you falsely accused the two magician siblings, and then exposed the fact they were fatui in front of everyone...you felt like you needed to apologize, you laid awake at night thinking of it

so finally you got some treats and came to their house, trying to ignore the people and cameras surrounding you, it's not everyday the hydro archon himself goes outside, not even clorinde by his side

however, instead of the twins you expected, you saw the most beautiful boy you've ever seen?? and you've been alive for a long time, you've seen many boys before!

"oh hydro dragon bless me..." you mumbled, the boy's eyes were widened, having not expected that the literal archon would be outside his door! the same archon who almost took his siblings away from him...

he noticed the cameras and sunk into himself, it was bad enough he hated attention, but now everyone knew he was fatui and it felt worse, like everyone was judging him harder

you cleared your throat "ahem! why are you all still here? this is obviously a private moment! do you want to be sent to the fortress of meropide so badly?"

quickly the people ran off, knowing you, their very... enthusiastic archon, you were not kidding, you looked pleased with yourself, now alone with this majestic boy

"you didn't have to do that..." his voice was quiet but you still swooned! "oh please, anything for a beautiful young man like yourself!'

after that day, you visited alot more often,and even requested his presence at the palais mermonia, freminet was always awkward and felt out of place, why did the archon seem to like him so much? maybe he was just doing this to try to suck up to his siblings or father

in reality you were crushing hard on this boy, as the archon you cant exactly go out and form meaningful connections without the people trying to be nice just so you don't send them to jail, though the most time spent together with him, even freminet started to grow feelings for you

eventually you cannot hold back your overwhelming feelings and confess, despite being quite scared of his reaction and how his family would react, the both of you became boyfriends! it was quite the sight for the people of fontaine, a over enthusiastic archon with a shy and quiet diver?

to say his family was shocked was a understatement, especially the knave, she would've expected someone like lyney would manage to seduce the archon, but freminet? she can't say she wasn't proud though, you can bet she'll be bragging to everyone how her son bagged a archon though, specifically the one she was investigating head on

and now she has more ways of connecting to you in a attempt to solve the crisis, and even for her own wants of the nation, and of course finding out some of the secrets of the archon

but freminet couldn't even go outside without being bombarded by paparazzi anymore, it was overwhelming and he hated it, and you understood perfectly! which is why now there's a law where you cannot even speak to the hydro archon's boyfriend unless he gives permission! perfect, isn't it?

as for the more intimate encounters, freminet can't help but feel more confident in himself, whether he's getting fucked or he's fucking you, either way he's with the most beautiful man in fontaine, and a literal god, it's hard not to feel pride knowing everyone wants you and he has you all to himself

especially if he was dominant, knowing he's got you under his control willing to listen to his demands? he feels like melting, if he's submissive, he feels the same, knowing that you were on top of him, balls deep every night? he wants to giggle and kick his feet

he'd rather drown than tell his family he's having sex though, even when arlecchino starts telling him about safe sex...knowing he's already far past that point!

what really matters to him though, is how happy you make him, he didn't realize, but he's smiling more often with you, lyney pointed it out to him, and he couldn't help but blush, he just loves you, he wouldn't care if you were a normal person or a god, he wants to stay with you forever

he starts going out more often, even going to his siblings shows alot more, just to see you, sometimes you even get him to sit beside you on your seat! the only people even allowed there were you, neuvillette and clorinde, the whole of fontaine slowly get used to seeing their archon very publicly kissing his boyfriend, you can't help it!

you just want to kiss him all the time, even neuvillette can't help but feel like a proud father, arlecchino knew she still had her own mission to investigate the oratrice and the prophecy, but she also knew freminet since he was a kid, and she knew freminet has never been happier

so maybe, just maybe, she's generally happy for her son, he really deserves that love after the shitty things he's been through, maybe she'll also attempt to have a better relationship with you, she can't have you scared of her when she'll have to walk her son down the aisle afterall

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x you #genshin fluff #freminet x reader #freminet x male reader #freminet

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csvent-2 · 1 month

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BOY do I have a story for you. Okay. Lets talk Nyudoodles, Howltars and Liowlets. Going straight to the point (ASK ME QUESTIONS FOR CLARIFICATION BC I CANT WORD THINGS CORRECTLY) 1. I was immediately banned/blacklisted from Nyudoodles bc I apparently was “block evading” according to one of the mods WITHOUT any evidence other than my account not having enough ocs or art (I already explained to them why I didn’t have many mind you tho I understand wanting to be safe as I have BEEN stalked before esp irl.) number 2. Blocked from Liowlets bc apparently I “made artists uncomfortable” and tht there was a “beware public post” about me. I’m like.. HUH?! Am I that known? Btch I’m in no way shape or form known or a popular artist 💀 where is this coming from? I asked the mod if it’s bc of ‘that’ mod that blacklisted me from Nyudoodles they said they have NO idea who that is and etc etc yada yada (I won’t say their name for now(the mod from Nyudoodles, they’re also in Howltars, but unless you want me to say the nams. They’re popular as an artist has cute designs.) 3. Banned from Howltars. One day I go on discord and then see that I’ve been banned?? It says bc I “impersonated” you guessed WHO that mod. It’s always been that one mod from Nyudoodles. I asked the owner Nyudex what happened. They began to show me sc of.. apparently the “public post” ab me WITHOUT revealing the name. And it looks like it’s from Amino or something? (Probably the same mod as they’ve always had a problem with me.) Next an instagram account of someone impersonating the mod AND screenshots of the mod from Liowlets and the chat we had. Now.. I was banned from Howltars bc of “impersonation, harassment?? And apparently block evading.” I’m now here realizing I am not the problem, since reading that the Nyudoodles staff go at each others throats, get jealous over others designs, ripoff designs and are toxic in general PLUS I’ve read somewhere that a guest artist/used to be mod(s) have mentioned their experiences with the staff overall and they were stressed and etc. (will not mention them incase ya’ll try to come after them smh for “outing” you out.”) This has been my experience with these 3 overall. I wouldn’t be surprised of how many people either hate, dislike or come after them as there’s been a LOT of people blacklisted for no reason at all other than coincidences, wording, bidding lower, edited comments on bids, people who are busy and can’t reply yet etc etc. if there’s any questions bc you wanna clarify lmk. I didn’t share all the details. But fr I would advise staying away from them. They treated me like I’m not a person. I even shared why it’s unfair they did what they did esp since there’s 0 evidence of anything other than wording. Which shows and means nothing. Oh also. That mod that one mod (and possibly their friends) is STILL trying to search for something, anything to link me as the person from their blacklist, but they’re like “yoUrE obSeSsed wiTh tHem” according to what Nyudex said to me. I’m like.. again HUH?! Btch I barely know your mod friend! We’ve never interacted or talked, plss they won’t even talk to me to clear things up lmfao. I asked if it’s possible to talk but nop. Gurly wants to keep living in delulu land. In no way, shape or form am I obsessed with them but I can see how you’re projecting on me bc you want to find some type of evidence that I’m the person from your blacklist. Oh and if they read this broo. You are projecting and I figured it out, clear as day. You’re projecting your literal fear and possibly guilt and don’t wanna accept that YOURE the problem and that you’re wrong. You keep coming after me, keeping an eye on me AND try to sneak friends in servers that I’m in to keep an eye on me. Or they’re sneaking for you. Smh. Telling others to grow up when you’re not acting grown sis.

🌸

#nyodoodles #howltaurs #liowlets #csvent #closed species venting

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keigelsss · 3 years

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Hard At Work - Kuroo Tetsuro

a/n: HERE IT IS!!!!! it’s really bad. i struggled. i just wanted to get it over with but this idea weighed heavily on my mind for so long and i cant seem to get it out the way i want so this is the bare minimum with what i was trying to go for sorry :/

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, timeskip!kuroo, dom!kuroo, language, teasing, literally half the fic is foreplay oops, smut, oral sex, unprotected sex (no glove no love y’all), kuroo smacks your ass once, sir kink?, SIZE KINK, belly bulge, overstim, squirting, creampie, as always my shitty writing. *thoughts in italics… if i forgot a warning pls lmk*

Summary: you never thought you’d find yourself in this situation, let alone with the man in charge of your paycheck. luckily those files weren’t that important.

word count: 4.7K

You’ve only been working in this position for about two months now, assistant to one of the smartest sports promoters in the country. It’s a wonderful job and you get to meet star athletes almost every day, but what wasn't in the job description was the super hot promoter that you would be working under literally. If you thought it was hard coming into work with someone so damn attractive, the amount of teasing that went on in and outside of the office was insufferable.

Your day began like every other; come in, bring Kuroo some coffee, a full list of the day's meetings and tidy up in his office. While setting the coffee on his desk, you anticipate what comment he’ll make about the lack of a baked good to accompany his beverage.

“Awe Y/n, looks like you forgot to bring something to munch on again,” he was currently going through emails while twirling a pen in his hand. That scheming smirk that you’ve come to recognize all too well plastered all over his smug face.

“I’m sorry, Kuroo, they were all out at the café.” You placed your belongings on the small desk located in the corner of his office, spending some time to go over today's schedule as well as sort through a few contracts and client files.

“It’s all good,” he let out a soft chuckle. “You could always let me eat you instead, shortcake.”

You gave a pointed glare to the man before sighing and closing the file cabinet you just finished sorting. “I think it’s best if we get to work, we’ve got a long day ahead of us, sir.” he sends the smallest smirk in your direction then returns to his tasks. Shit... Did I mean to make it come out like that? Whatever he always teases the ever-living hell out of me so it's about time I had my share of the fun too, it’s only fair. Right?

Most of the day was uneventful, the typical routine coming and going without any interruptions. At around 4 pm though, you found yourself swamped with far more paperwork to go through than usual as well as having to scan and digitally file. We didn't have this many meetings today, did we? I just did a stack like this… Most of these need Kuroo’s signature, they shouldn't be on my desk.

Raising your head you shifted your gaze, letting your eyes land on him. He’s seated only ten feet in front of you behind his desk but today it seems like an entire mile. Did he always look that good going through his messages?

While gathering the papers that were wrongfully in your pile and saying a quick prayer to anyone out there, you walked over to sit in one of the matching seats opposite him. Placing the folder down softly to not mess up the flow of his work. He instinctively moves his elbow away to make room for the file and side-eyes it momentarily.

“Just give me two minutes here and I’m all yours sugar,” he says with a quick smile in your direction.

Humming your response and relaxing into the chair you take the time to admire his features. The messy but somehow put together hair that, according to his long-term clients and friends, has been that way since childhood. The sharp features of his cheeks and jaw, his pink lips permanently resting in his signature smirk that can mean an infinite number of things as you’ve come to find out. A muscular neck that is far too appealing for your taste, broad shoulders leading to strong arms, and an equally muscular chest. It’s no doubt that he is built like a god under that dress shirt, it fits him so perfectly it's almost offensive.

You’re so caught up in your thoughts of the man in front of you that you don't even notice how he moves his body, giving all his attention to you.

“Stare any longer sweet girl and you're gonna start drooling all over that cute outfit of yours.” His deep chuckle vibrates through you, definitely causing something to happen deep in the pit of your stomach. Your body was so hot and your throat was so damn dry from the way he was looking back at you. Is he undressing me with his eyes? Fuck! I’m one to talk, I’m doing the same thing.

“Uh it looks like some papers of yours got in my pile, if you can sign them, I’ll finish scanning and get out of your hair.”

You sat up to hand him a pen then rest your palms against the desk. Those pieces of paper are the only thing separating the two of you and it helps you keep a grasp on reality for the time being.

He toyed with the edges of the folder, lifting just the corner, not even bothering to read over the contents. “Yeah, I put them there thinking it would keep you in the office just a bit longer but you caught on to my plan faster than I thought.” He met your gaze with a semi defeated smile.

“You thought I wouldn't notice at all? Kuroo, I thought you were supposed to be the mega genius here because I had just filed all of those this morning.” A sudden boost of confidence ran through your body and your hands found their way to the folder and started mimicking his previous action that, hopefully, would drive him just as crazy as it did you. Your cold fingers delicately traced above his watch then to his forearms, stopping right where he cuffed his sleeves. A small hiss escaped him through his teeth followed by an airy laugh.

“Call it an experiment.” You couldn't help but giggle at his response.

He suddenly moved back, completely reclining and relaxing in his chair. He went to loosen up the tie around his neck and even went as far as to open two buttons on the restricting shirt. Cheeky bastard.

Kuroo cleared his throat. Resting his elbow against the arm of his chair, chin resting in the palm of his hand. “I bet I can tell what you're thinking right now, shortcake,” he continued to roll his chair back slightly.

Without giving a second thought you moved around to his side of the desk, sitting and leaning on the end farthest from him. You conjured up the best comeback your normally shy and reserved self would never think of, but right now, it's war.

“Oya oya? Tell me, boss, what am I thinking right now?” you finally turned your gaze towards him, pulling off the most convincing innocent eyes you had.

He stood up from his seat, taking the slowest steps toward you and stood right beside your small body. His large hands are dangerously close to the edge of your skirt. If he could feel how hard your heart was beating in your chest you’d be done for.

That contagious laughter of his booming throughout the room once more. He’ll never admit it but your teasing words sound a lot like him.

“Well if the way you're clenching the hell out of your thighs right now isn't the biggest sign.” His calloused fingers finally make contact with the exposed skin on your legs and slowly rise to trace the curves of your body. Finding a place to rest on your jaw with his thumb gripping your chin forcing you to look directly at him. “I’d say you're thinking of all the different ways I could make you cum on my desk,” his thumb began to slowly trace your lower lip.

You were barely aware of the small moan you let out while fluttering your eyes closed. “Let's say you're right Kuroo,” you nearly choked on the lack of saliva in your throat. “What else am I thinking?” your response barely above a pathetic whimper.

He let out a happy sigh as he placed his thumb between your lips, pressing slightly to signal you to open up. That sigh quickly turned into a small moan when you let your tongue slip from your mouth and wrapped your lips around the digit. Years of hard work and skill evident in the sensation of his thumb pressing against your tongue.

“You’re probably thinking about my cock filling every inch of your tight little pussy,” he moved to stand between your legs, his other hand finding residence on your hip and squeezing the clothed flesh possessively. “Or maybe you’re thinking you might just have the upper hand here because you caught on to my little trick,” he began to mess with the hook and zipper on the side of your skirt. Lowering the piece of flimsy metal agonizingly slow.

“If that’s the case then you're seriously mistaken sweetheart also when it's just us, call me Tetsuro,” he whispered his name in your ear and if you weren't trying to match his teasing energy, you would’ve made the first move but the build-up was so much better.

He finally let go of the zipper on your skirt and began to pull it slowly down your thighs, all while maintaining eye contact. He slowly removed his finger from your mouth and trailed any lingering saliva along your bottom lip and down your jaw before his hand found comfort around your neck, offering the softest squeeze, eliciting yet another breathy moan from your lips. If only you knew how much those sounds of yours were causing him to short circuit.

“Tetsuro. If there’s anything I know very well, it's my place in this office.” You kept steady eye contact while attempting to squeeze your thighs together.

Kuroo noticed your struggles and continued to strip the skirt from your body. Your lower half was beginning to burn with anticipation. His long fingers then traced the outline of your panties, if he looked any closer he would see the little wet spot forming right at your entrance. He lightly pulled on the thin material and snapped it back against your body, a small chuckle rising from deep in his chest because of how cute and responsive you are to his actions.

“And where is that exactly?” He can't help but tease you, even though his cock is absolutely suffocating, he still wants to make sure you know who’s in charge.

“I'm an employee on your payroll, aren't I?” your voice was so soft, focusing more on steadying your breathing. He began to run the back of his hand along your hip and grazed his knuckles against the area that you ache for him the most, a throaty sigh escapes you and some of that newfound confidence as well. Where the hell did she come from?

“It only makes sense that my position is under you.” Kuroo is slightly surprised by your response but he can tell that you’ve had enough of his teasing just like he’s had enough of having to come up with new ways to fluster you. Now it seems that all his prayers are being answered, he finally has you to himself all alone in the office, and there’s only one thing on his mind after hearing the words slip from your lips. “That’s definitely the right answer, but I hope you don’t mind if I spend some time on you first?”

His fingers were now pulling the fabric of your panties down and off your body, he never breaks eye contact, rubbing his hands all over your legs and occasionally squeezing your soft skin. He finally returned to eye level and placed both hands on your cheeks, bringing you in for a hot and desperate kiss. He managed to push you further onto the desk so you can rest comfortably, the cold sensation of the wood on your bare skin forced a tiny gasp to escape.

Kuroo began to play with the buttons of your blouse, pulling on the material. By the time he gets to the last button, you’re halfway done removing his, finally seeing the strong body underneath it all. Hot. Once he had you completely undressed he took a single step back. Biting his lip and admiring your body.

“You’re so god damn sexy.” He came back to you, hot mouth leaving kisses all over your neck and chest. He spent some time on each of your breasts, sucking and biting on your sensitive nipples, sending waves of pleasure straight to your core. His hands hooked under your knees and spread your legs. You're practically dripping onto his desk by now and can’t help but grind your hips against nothing, desperate for some sort of relief.

“Someone's a little needy, huh?” his breath was hot against your stomach and fingers digging into the meat of your thigh. Once he got on his knees in front of you, his fingers found their way to your throbbing center. Slowly parting your folds and massaging your sensitive hole with perfect pressure. “Fuck. You’re so fuckin’ wet too,” with his other hand he used his thumb to play with your clit. You threw your head back, letting out a soft moan as you made contact with the desk below.

Kuroo wasted no time putting your legs over his shoulders, leaving wet kisses along your thighs and placing several on your hips. He finally placed a kiss on your clit, causing you to yelp and buck your hips against his face. “You taste better than I imagined baby girl,” he licked a stripe through your folds, then sucked on your clit softly. “Mmm it feels so good!” you’re a moaning, whimpering mess already. Kuroo has to use his hands to keep you still but he’s humming happily while lapping up all you have to offer him and you can't help but shake. “Am I making you feel good, pretty girl? Your cute little pussy is so sensitive huh?” his tongue was replaced with one of his fingers gathering up your slick and slowly entering you.

“Yes yes fuck I love it. I want your cock. Please.” you looked at him through lidded eyes sucking your bottom lip harshly in between your teeth. He can't help but smile at how cute you look begging for him. “Relax baby girl, we’ll both get what we want but I gotta work you up a bit more.” He added another finger curling them a little to find your sweet spot, while sucking on your clit. He knew he found it when you squeezed your thighs around him and called out his name. Your walls twitching around his fingers, reaching your first climax of the day.

He pulled his fingers out of you and brought them to his mouth, sucking off every bit of your juices, moaning in sheer delight. Another kiss was placed on your clit before he began a trail of them to your neck and jaw, teeth sinking into your skin. One of his hands caressed your cheek as he kissed you on the lips, your taste and his hot breath sending another wave of arousal through you and you moan into his mouth. He pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. “Wanna make you cum with my tongue one more time okay sweetheart?”

You wanted to whine and throw a fit but his mouth was magical and you weren't one to complain. With a small ‘okay’ and another kiss on the lips he made his way to your pussy once more, already swollen and ridiculously sensitive. He began with the same rhythm as before, soft groans of satisfaction driving you wild. The grinding of your hips against his face only became more violent when he added his long fingers. Finding that same spot as earlier.

“F-fuck oh fuck I’m gonna cum!” you arched your back off the desk and brought a hand to your chest massaging squeezing your nipples. The only thing you hear before your orgasm rips through you is the loud squelching of fingers inside your pussy and his moans of praise. When you open your eyes and finally come back to earth, you see Kuroos face, hand and wrist covered in your juices. “I haven't even fucked you yet and you squirted just like that? You're gonna be the death of me Y/n.”

You giggled a little, hiding your face in embarrassment, body still trembling from the intense orgasm. Of course that smart mouth of his is sinfully skilled. He moved your hands out of the way, intertwining his with yours, lifting you and pulling you into another kiss.

You let go of his hands running yours along his toned chest, leaving small scratches, quickly removing his belt and slacks. You squeal at how big he looks in his boxers, his cock begging to be free. Pulling the waistband down and letting it drop to his feet, you moan at the sight. A small bead of precum forming at the tip, now an angry red from being neglected for so long. “I wanna make you feel good too Tetsu.”

Before you can drop to your knees for him he puts his hands on your hips, rubbing soothing circles. “Next time gorgeous, I wanna feel you right now.” he lifted you off the ground, legs wrapping around his waist and lips meeting in a sloppy mess of teeth and tongue. One of his hands made their way to your ass, squeezing softly before landing a smack. You moaned in response and ground your hips against his throbbing member, the tip creating glorious friction against your folds. He finally placed you back on the desk then fisted his cock a few times, running the tip against your folds and teasing your entrance.

“Want you inside me now Tetsuro. Please.” your chest was heaving in desperation and he loved that he made you like this. “Okay sweet girl. If it’s too much let me know.” You gave him a small nod and he kissed you while letting himself slip inside your warm walls. You were already so wet from before but he was so long and thick that the intrusion was slightly painful.

“Holy shit! you’re so damn tight.” he says through gritted teeth.

You wrap your arms around his neck, fingers tugging softly on his hair when you feel him bottom out inside you. He lets out a few puffs of air because it's taking all his willpower not to cum with the way your pussy is gripping onto him right now. You let out a few whimpers and he checks your face for any signs of discomfort before retracting his hips and thrusting into you. You make eye contact with him, he’s absolutely mesmerizing with that lusty look in his eye and a small layer of sweat on his forehead.

“S-so big Tetsu. It feels so good.” you squeeze your legs wrapped around his waist, bringing him closer to you and he groans in response. He begins to thrust into you slowly, still trying to keep his cool but finding that sweet spot inside you every time. “Oh you're gonna make me cum with the way you are clampin’ down on my cock like that sweet thing.” he shifts the angle of his thrusts and cages your head between his arms. His large upper body casting a shadow over you that makes you shiver. You can see the way the muscles on his forearms and biceps are flexing with every thrust. How he’s looking down at where you two are connected in pure fascination, tugging his lip between his teeth.

Using his arms to push off the desk, he tugs your hips to the edge and keeps his fingers embedded in the soft flesh, meeting each of his thrusts. You lift yourself as well, resting on your elbows and watching him. You notice a small bump on your belly each time his hips meet yours and it's enough to have you roll your eyes back. Holy fuck now that’s different. Kuroo noticed your surprise and pressed a hand against your tummy, making you feel him even deeper if possible.

“I’m right there baby girl. Can you feel it?” You feel as though you're being split open but it hurts so good. His stare and dominating aura so sinful and addictive, you know you're in trouble. “Yes it feels so good. I love your cock.” He feels you fluttering around him and picks up his pace. The sharp sound of skin slapping echoes throughout the office along with his animalistic growls.

“Is that right. You gonna cum on this cock, like a good girl?” his thumb found your clit, working small circles. “Make a mess all over my desk? Let me cum inside this tight pussy?” his thrusts were reaching deep, that bulge in your tummy only looking bigger now. You tried meeting his thrusts halfway, your hand gripped his wrist and you neared another orgasm. “Y-yeah, oh fuck. please. I wanna cum so bad. wanna make you feel good too, sir.”

At the last word you said he thrusted into you once more. your walls fluttering around him bringing his release as well, he hunched over with a groan and found your lips as he spilled his seed inside you. The warmth filling you up and making you feel nothing but bliss. Your ankles locked around his waist, heels digging into his lower back, keeping him buried inside you while you caught your breath’s.

He pulled away first, watching as his cock slipped from your tight hole, both of you letting out a sharp breath from the sensitivity. His cum followed right after, dripping down onto his desk. The sight of your clenching pussy and the mess was enough to get him hard again. He wants as much as you’re willing to give him. Lifting your upper body he pulls you in for another kiss, this one a bit sweeter.

You pulled away and began kissing his jaw. “I want more.” You said looking up at him with bright eyes. Your makeup is messy but you still look delicious as ever.

He gave you a playful grin and a peck on the lips. “You read my mind gorgeous.”

He spun you around and bent you over the desk, pressing your body into the wood but not enough to hurt. His fingers slowly ran down your spine, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You turn your head slightly so you can see him, right now he looks intimidating as ever. Large muscular body towering over you, one hand gripping your ass and the other teasing the head of his cock along your folds. He can see how your dripping hole is clenching around nothing, your frame trembling from previous orgasms. He's so damn overjoyed that he slips right inside you, not wanting to waste another second outside of your tight pussy.

The stretch that he provided was nothing you've felt before, he was definitely the biggest you’ve been with. You felt every ridge and vein, every twitch, you still feel him in your stomach. Nothing beat how warm he is though, flooding every nerve with heat and electricity.

He set a brutal pace, balls slapping against your clit each time, making you cry out and moan incoherent versions of his name. His left hand gripped your thigh and hitched your leg on the desk, the shift in position causing him to drag the tip of his cock perfectly against your g-spot. “Right there Tetsuro, feels so fucking good.” you ached your back in ecstasy.

The hand he had hooked under your knee creeped up your thigh and rested on your hip. He used the other to raise you off the desk and wrap around you. His warm hard chest pressing into your back and his large, rough palms massaged your tits. You can feel his warm breath on your ear and you shiver when he groans. The deep rumble of his chest crashing into you like a wave.

Hearing his moans right in your ear was like heaven, the feeling of his cock twitching inside tells you he's close. “Oh fuck I’m gonna cum so fuckin’ hard. Your little cunt’s squeezing me so fuckin’ tight. You gonna be a good girl and let me cum inside again?” his rough pounding turned into slow, deep strokes. Slamming into your sweet spot with pin-point accuracy.

“Please. Feels so good and I want your cum. Want it in me so bad.” his hand moved to your jaw turning your head, squishing your cheeks and leaving a sloppy kiss against your lips. You brought your arm up, grabbing his face, pulling him closer. You sucked his bottom lip between your teeth and he growled in response, slow thrusts gaining some more speed.

The hand he had on your hip made its way in front of you, fingers trailing softly against your swollen clit. Tears were pricking the corners of your eyes from overstimulation but you loved every second of it. “I want you to milk my cock, take all your filling like a good little shortcake and make a mess on this desk. Can you do that for me?” you only nod and moan your answer.

The intense eye contact between the two of you, mixed with his hard thrusts and rough fingers, make that tingling feeling in your core seem like the first one all over again. Your head falls back against his chest as your body locks up and shakes uncontrollably, the tight fluttering of your walls brought his release as well.

You can feel his warm load inside as he keeps fucking into you, allowing you both to ride out the intense wave of pleasure. All while massaging your clit, only bringing on another orgasm, making you squirt once more on his hand and desk. Feeling it drip down your legs, surely his too.

Once the rush of euphoria passed, you both fell forward, his cock still inside you as you both caught your breath. You were still quivering with aftershocks of pleasure when he slipped out of you, a mixture of both of your cum spilling onto the floor and down your thighs.

He stumbled back onto his chair and took a deep breath. Hypnotized by the way you’re still spread out for him to see, the beautiful sight of your plump ass becoming something he wants all the time. You finally sit up slowly turning to lean against the desk, legs feeling like noodles. Both of you catching the other staring and letting out a fit of laughter. He reached for your hand and pulled you down on the chair with him to relax, wrapping his strong arms around you.

“So, I was thinking, maybe I should give you a promotion.” he kissed the top of your head and you pinched his nipple teasingly. “Stop fucking around Tetsu.” he smirked and gave you a knowing smirk.

“We just did, sweet heart.” you rolled your eyes and nuzzled into his neck.

------------------------------------------------------

After resting for a while the two of you got cleaned up and dressed, tidying up the office so it didn't look like two people just fucked in it. Once you were done you both stood and looked out the window of his office, watching the sun disappear and the stars start to shine. He made a sound like he just remembered something.

“Do you wanna go out to get something to eat?” he looks at you while putting his coat on.

“I’d love to, I’m starving,” you grabbed your purse and put on your coat as well. “Oh, uh what time is it?” you ask him.

He lifted the sleeve of his jacket, looking at his watch and raising a brow. “That’s weird. My watch is stuck at 4:45.” you look at him in confusion.

A sudden burst of wheezing laughter echoes through the walls and you’re still wondering what’s so funny. He turns to you and looks at your face, melting at how cute and innocent you looked.

“I think you ruined my watch, Y/n.” he brings a hand up to your face moving a piece of hair that was out of place. You can't help but blush at his words, instantly turning away from him and opening the doors to his office.

“Well we’re even now because you ruined any other man for me.” You walked ahead of him in annoyance but he knows it won't last long.

He’ll have you screaming his name again in his bed in no time.

I wonder if he was joking about that promotion though…

———————————————————————

✨stay sexy my friends✨

Taglist: @bobabybo

a/n: if you made it this far... yooo... im so sorry you had to read this. it didn’t tickle the brain the way i wanted and i trashed it like ten times only to go back with what i originally started with but if you liked it and you feel a lil sum ;) lmk i would love feedback or what I could’ve done better. i don’t know what I want to do with this blog just yet but for now its just my thirsts and writings. i reply and like on @keigohoes im just stupid lol.

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furiosity-wills-the-cat · 3 years

Text

Chara, the fourth Blook cousin:

A crack theory that accidentally become way more serious than it should have because it somehow, despite my best efforts, ended up making sense

Brought to you by my idiot conspiracy brain (affectionate) and by encouragement from my Tumblr followers

Under the cut for the sake of your dashes and sanity

Ok here we go my very elaborate accidental theory, because in order to answer the complex questions simply you must first make simple things more complex or something

First, you need to know that Chara became a Blook cousin by adoption.

All of the Blooks are adopted.

Ghosts are not born into families, they make their own.

Got it? Great, because we’re about to start running

so first, im gonna make surprisingly uncommon claim in this fandom, and I am going to say that undertale ghosts are all dead

I’m taking the tiny details we know about ghosts and sprinting with them to new places

Ghosts also do not have souls I decided

Undertale souls do not work the same as souls in traditional mythology

So every ghost is soulless Unless and Until they become corporeal

Evidence: Monster souls cant exist without bodies, and ghosts are monsters, therefore ghosts cannot have souls without bodies

Further evidence: Asriel doesnt steal blooky’s soul, blooky is unkillable, we have no concrete evidence that blooky has a soul

What about mettaton? He only has a soul after he has completely committed to being corporeal and to a specific body.

Also maddy and mettaton are both only killable while corporeal

Im also connecting the dots we have about souls in a new creative way so let me live for a second

Additionally, i am going to claim that there are a lot more ghosts than just the blooks, some evidence given below

Theres like actual scientific knowlege of ghosts in the undertale verse which seems unlikely if theres literally only three or four

The underground is so much bigger than you think, theres that giant forest in snowdin, a large town in the ruins, the huge city of new home, who knows how much space in the large open areas of waterfall etc. Its really really big okay

Also based off evidence of blooky, we can conclude that ghosts can turn invisible whenever they want to and/or haunt objects to hide

So I personally think that ghosts are, generally speaking, extremely reclusive

And the blooks are just a special exception, a beautiful family, amazing for them

So anyway im going with typical ghost lore for now, for the sake of ease, so im gonna say ghosts generally come from monsters who are particularly restless or unsatisfied when they die

HOWEVER i dont think they remember being monsters or anything before being a ghost. They just kinda fizzle into existance with a fully formed personality and immortality while being unkillable and feeling vaguely uneasy

ALSO i personally think that chara was a ghost for a long time before they became a blook by adoption

Based on game lore, i think ghosts can possess any inanimate object and just kinda wear it? But it takes a lot of strong emotion to become corporeal

And chara is the super weird exception because they were a human not a monster.

They dont have a soul (i headcanon that their soul got destroyed when asriel died)

And they KNOW this, which is a huge part of why they kinda just... give up

Because they lost their ability to fulfill prophecy

Also, without a soul, they lost their ability to reset, so for the first time since falling underground, theyre subject to the relentless march of time

But theyre still weirdly strong and powerful and more emotional

ALSO they DO still remember being a human but they catch on pretty quickly that other ghosts dont have memories and because chara is stupid they just lie to fit in

Theyre too tired to explain themself, they just want to be alone and feel awful

Now back to ghost lore

Emotions are a lot harder for ghosts??? I decided

And they dont know why,, they tend to blame it on the soul thing

But realistically its actually more of the immortality thing making actions not have consequences and/or or not having a body so they cant have a sense of touch or have physical effects of emotion

They all know that ghosts just tend to be way more floaty and bored and numb

And thats part of why the blooks are so special

Maddy’s rage and Mettaton’s yearning and Napstablook’s misery are like... not great all of the time...

but theyre also way way more emotion than most ghosts have,,, they are just a family supporting each other, being as functional as they can,, just an emo(tional) ghost family

most ghosts barely do anything except like stare at walls but the blooks have their snail farm and that helps them have purpose and it is good

And they hold each other accountable and it is nice

So anyway chara just chills and is in a depression coma for a few decades before the blooks find them and are like “our child/baby cousin”

and they raise them for a cool minute

They are all very protective of the new baby emo blook

And chara doesnt get therapy but at the very least they once again have a family, and they decide they want to try to become corporeal eventually just like mtt and maddy

So anyway chara starts hanging out in the ruins a lot more and they finally tell the blooks theyre leaving to go become corporeal in the ruins

This is actually because they are trying to hang out with toriel

because they miss their mom ;;

but chara’s not gonna admit that to anyone, especially not to themself

And because theyre still repressing their emotions constantly and pretending to be fine, they cant become corporeal

And they hang out in the ruins for a long time because they feel guilty lying to everyone about everything

They still feel like its their fault that all the monsters are stuck underground, because they were SUPPOSED to save everyone and they COULDNT and it HURTS

But again, they are doing too much repression to use this guilt to become corporeal,

so instead they just kinda hide and watch toriel from a distance and cry

Blooky visits them the most, thats why blooky is chilling in the ruins so much at the start of the game

Theyre just there to visit their shy baby cousin ;;

Ofc they wont tell frisk about this because chara wants space and privacy and blooky respects that

but maddy and mtt also visit them a lot

Oh also when mtt and maddy start dissapearing, blookys mental health plummets as their family and support system starts to dissolve

Blooky was actually doing extremely well (for a ghost) for a long time, i headcanon,

but theyre doing the worst theyve been in a long long time during the game, because of family issues

So anyway, chara dissapears when frisk shows up, and maddy assumes this is becaude frisk hurt their fragile feelings

Maddy spends hours desperately searching the ruins for chara and cant find them and assumes that they had their heart crushed and went to hide and disappear in a depression coma for another few decades, and thats part of why maddy is so furious with frisk

Like,, to be clear, maddy is still jumping to conclusions and throwing blame around with no proof, but also, its a logical conclusion to come to

And mettaton has already disappeared too and been gone for a while, too, by this point, so it hurts even worse

But anyway, what actually happened to chara is that;

Because chara is a human ghost, not a monster ghost, normal ghost rules dont apply to them

And they can possess living things too they find out

Maybe they knew it a long time ago, maybe its a new discovery, but for whatever reason they end up possessing frisk and theyre like “what the heck”

And frisk still has most of the control

But now chara is like,,, “this is my chance, im a human again, gotta save the world for real,,,”

and they cant explain this to anyone without revealing their past

so they just chill in frisk’s mind while being super crypic and trying to figure out how it works

Pacifist route, this is pretty much exactly what happens

They manage to help frisk save the day

And in my headcanon, the no mercy route is started by frisk who is scared when faced by monsters attacking them

And then chara, who was aready hiding in a semidepression coma for a while, immediately transitions to a panicked “gotta protect this body, gotta protect my chance to be human, i died and threw away my chance to save everyone the first time, i CANNOT lose this chance again”

And so the combination of both frisk and chara is the genocide run

Because frisk kills in self defense, and whenever frisk hesitates, chara jumps in

Also theres leftover feelings from the whole asriel incident

Because again, ghosts come from monsters who died unsatisfied

And chara’s main source of unsatisfaction is how they were trying to get asriel to kill people before he died and then he didnt

So thats a strong strong feeling ruling them

So anyway by the time they both realize how bad its become they figure its too late and also the amount of LOVE has made them numb

And thats when chara who, despite everything, still has idiot hero complex and thinks they need to save the world

So, while panicking, they step in at the very end, and erase the timeline and delete everything

And also to clarify

They DONT HAVE this power at any other point in the game

Because, guess why

They become corporeal

Just like maddy, the no mercy route is the only thing that gives them strong enough emotion to spontaneously become corporeal

So they become corporeal and as soon as they have a soul again and can reset again, they just erase everything

Ok back to fluff

Post pacifist route, they are still a non corporeal ghost

They can still float around and look just like the other blooks

And it takes them a while to open up about things, but they do end up moving back in with blooky so that blooky isnt completely alone

And also they do way better with a family

Also they can float through the mountain and talk to flowey down below and bring him news

And now that they know about him, they can bond with him and explain that they dont have a soul either but that doesnt mean theyre worthless

Oh ALSO

The other dead humans dont have ghosts

BECAUSE

ghosts only come from restless dead MONSTERS

and chara is the weird special exception

Because they were a monster when they died

They became a ghost and asriel didnt because they were way more restless and stressed than asriel was when both of them died

Like sure, asriel felt awful, but chara was the one who was way more like “this is my fault, i CANT die now, the world NEEDS me”

So anyway

charablook the emo tween ghost and asriel flowey the eldrich goat daisy are siblings once more and they hang out and eventually they are okay and have a family again

Thank you for reading, this has been my thoughts on a crack theory that accidentally went too far

This isnt even everything, maybe i’ll make a part two eventually, but i promised to have this post out like two days ago, so i wanted to post SOMTHING

Anyway leave your thoughts if youd like

Im not looking for people to disprove it, i already know its crazy, i dont think it was intentional by the game writers, but i do think its a fun concept

thats the fun of it, so if anyone wants to run with it im all for it lol

Thanks again! Have a nice day!

#no mercy #as a warning tag #chara undertale #napstablook undertale #fic tag #meta #analysis #crack theroy #undertale #i didnt edit this very much #so if there are any major typos or parts that didnt make sense #or were illegible #feel free to let me know so i can clarify

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rosepetalmark · 4 years

Text

can we kiss forever?

↬ Mark Lee x Reader ↬1.9k Words ↬ Genre: Pure Fluff / kinda smut?? (just two people making out and feeling each other up) ↬Warnings: None

“You’re making me nervous.” He giggles. His plump, round cheeks turning crimson red the moment he finished speaking.

“I literally just kissed your neck, Mark.”

“I know but like, we haven’t really done this before so it’s kinda weird.” He continues to laugh, this time curling himself up into a ball and situating his head in the crevice of your neck, wrapping his arm around your torso and holding you tight.

Pouting your lips, you couldn’t help but stare in awe at how adorable he was being. You’ve only been officially dating for a month, and he wanted to take things slow, which was completely fine with you, as you wanted to make sure both you and Mark were ready for whatever future intimacy your relationship has to offer.

But despite the purity that came with your gradual exploration of one another, you were not sure on how to go about his laughter when it came to kissing.

“So your first instinct is to laugh?” You question, running your fingers through his short black hair, a gesture you grew quite fond of once you two began dating.

Looking up into your eyes, he removes himself from his tight hold from your body and gives you his signature Mark Lee stare, the one where he looks at you eyes wide and yearning for information. The rays of the setting sun hitting just in the right spot, prompting them to glimmer and appear even more soft and loving, your chest and cheeks growing warm at the angelic sight of him.

“It’s not my fault your lips are ticklish! God, this is so embarrassing.” He whines, his face in his hands hiding his body even further into your side.

“Baby there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Pleading with him, you wanted him to know it was okay that he didn’t want to delve into this right now.

Mark told you straight from the beginning that the most he’s ever done is hold hands with a girl, and the occasional peck on the lips and cheek, but that was it. Intimacy and relationships were all new to him, so it would take a while for him to understand and process what was happening, along with what he likes and dislikes.

“I can’t even make out with my girlfriend without laughing! How is that nothing to be embarrassed about?” Sighing, he unwraps his arm from your waist, sitting upright on his bed, dropping his head and staring straight into his hands on his lap.

“It’s not that I don’t want this or I’m not ready, I uh- like don’t know how? I guess? Yeah, I’m just nervous and um I really like you and want to kiss you a lot, like a lot, but i guess i’m just scared I’m going to suck and you won’t want to kiss me or even be with me anymore.”

Making out and exploring each other’s bodies was supposed to be intimate and fun, and the fact that Mark was stressed about the entire situation made your heart shatter. You were with him because of his big heart and goofy personality, not because you thought he’d be amazing in bed down the line in your relationship.

Placing a hand on his cheek, you couldn’t help but melt at how distraught he looks.

“Mark Lee, I have been friends with you since we were teenagers and even though we haven’t been dating long. there is nothing you could do that would drive me away at this point. I like you way too much to ever let you go.”

Which was true. You remember meeting Mark way back in high school, when he still had braces and stayed to himself, always reading a new comic or novel at lunch while your group of friends gossiped or made plans for the weekend. Despite being shy and hardly speaking to you the first year of knowing you, there was always something about him that intrigued you and made you get butterflies in your stomach whenever you saw him.

“Besides.” You say, getting back up from your comfortable position to mirror Mark’s cross legged stature. “If you suck at kissing now it just means there’s room for more kissing so you can get better.”

“Thank you.” He whispered, bringing his body towards yours and engulfing you in a tight hug, his head once again finding its way to perfectly fit in your neck.

Your bring it upon yourself to kiss Mark on his forehead, it being an action of yours that calms him down whenever his mind is operating at a speed beyond comprehension.

You've discovered that cuddling into your side is his favourite place to be whenever you are together. Mark would always hold on to you tightly, while delicately placing his head above your collarbone, his soft breath fanning your neck always providing you with the slightest bit of comfort.

Reaching for his neck, you move your body to signal that you wanted him to look at you, to let him understand that no matter what, he will always be the boy that makes your heart flutter, no matter the circumstance. “I just want us to always be on the same page, no matter the concern. Okay?”

Nodding his head, you bring your face closer to his, examining his soft features and bouncing your gaze between his eyes and lips.

Noticing he was now doing the same, you took the opportunity to bring your lips to his, slowly pressing soft pecks to his before you started to kiss him slowly, making your mouth stay on his a few seconds longer each time after you pulled away.

Mark seemed to get the hang of it, being more forceful and messy with his kisses, not as hesitant as he was a few seconds prior.

He starts to lean more into your body, prompting you to lie on the bed with him situated in between your legs, one hand on your thigh, the other around your waist.

“Fuck this is so hot.” He whispers in between kisses, moving away from your lips and bringing kisses towards your cheeks.

“Is it uh okay if I go lower?”

“Anything you want Mark, I’m all yours.”

Slowly moving his lips down your face, he brings them towards your neck, peppering kisses along your collarbone, sucking slightly on the spot he delicately rests his head when cuddling, soft to the touch but aggressive enough to leave a mark for the next few days. You cant wait for the day when Mark gets bold enough to mark you up with different coloured hues and bites that cover your entire body.

Licking the soft marks he just made upon your clavicle and neck, he makes his way up just below your ear, sucking on a sweet spot, causing a moan to escape your mouth.

“God, are you sure you’ve never done this before?” You whine, tugging more roughly at his hair, wanting him to feel the pleasure you were receiving from his lips alone.

Laughing lowly into your neck, he fans his hot breath above your ear, gently grazing it, feeling a smirk form on his lips. “I guess I’m a quick learner.”

Bringing your hands back to his face, pulling him back up to your lips, you start aggressively pressing kisses to his lips now, wanting to show some dominance and explore Mark further.

Maneuvering out of his hold, you roll out from under his body, swinging your leg over his thighs, straddling his lap.

Now lying on top of him, you slowly grind down onto his crotch with each kiss you plant onto his lips, prompting a deep moan to emerge from his swollen mouth, vibrating onto yours.

Smirking into his mouth, it made you proud that you could get Mark this riled up. It wasn’t every day where you two were able to have long, intimate moments with one another.

His glossy eyes became fondly attached to yours, admiring the look of desire and compassion your face was exhibiting.

Blushing, you mold your lips together again as one, slowly grazing his bottom lip with your tongue, letting him know that you want to explore his mouth a little bit differently that what you have been doing the past few minutes.

Widening his eyes, Mark slightly moves his lips away from yours, worry washing over his face. “Um, is that normal?”

“Is what normal?” You retort, scanning his face to see if there’s any hesitation in his eyes.

“The tongue thing. You know, is that a normal thing to do when making out?”

Pouting, you couldn’t help but note how cute Mark was. This was all so new for him, and the simplest questions made you want to hug him and explore more of the physical sides of the relationship together.

“Yes, baby. If you don’t like it we can just go back to regular kissing. I don’t want to pressure you in-”

“No-no.” He cuts off, placing his face right back in front of yours. “I liked it, I just wasn’t sure what to do.”

“Just go with it, this isn’t some science. Whatever feels good just keep doing it. Follow your instincts, okay?”

He presses his lips back to yours, a little harsher this time and slower in pecking. Mark’s now the one to run his tongue along your bottom lip, mimicking what you just did to him before breaking out into concern.

You open your mouth in the slightest, allowing his tongue to follow suit with yours. It was clearly evident that Mark wasn’t too familiar with this act kissing, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care that it was a bit too fast and that Mark kept moving his tongue all around your mouth rather than slowly maneuvering it against yours.

You were both exploring one another and learning, becoming more vulnerable and attached and that is what is making the entire moment so special.

Grabbing his hands, you slowly inch them towards your chest, eager to have him explore more of your body. Mark clearly took your hint, softly squeezing each breast in between the kisses he was placing on your swollen, plump lips.

The soft moans escaping your mouth swiftly caught his attention, making it clear that you liked what he was doing. Correction, loved. Every kiss and grunt and touch coming from his body made you feel fireworks, and all of this is happening while you’re both clothed- you can’t even imagine how amazing it would feel the moment you both decided to go even further than this.

Separating your mouths, you stare into Mark’s dilated pupils and can’t help but think about how much you really like this boy, and all the awkwardness and love that comes from him.

“God, that was amazing.” Rubbing his nose against yours, bringing your faces as close to one another as they were a mere ten seconds ago.

“You are amazing.” You retort, wrapping your arms around his torso as you continue to stare into his love shot eyes. “I could kiss you forever if I could.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.”

Hugging your waist tighter, you couldn’t help but feel the elevation in Mark’s heart race, beating exponentially faster than you’ve ever felt before.

“I’d like that. I want to kiss you forever too.”

#mark lee scenarios #mark lee fluff #mark lee smut #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct drabbles #nct 127 scenarios #mark lee imagines #mark lee #nct #nct 127 #mark drabbles #nct 127 imagines

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tender-rosiey · 3 years

Note

Hey there I would like to request some cute soft kyo boyfriend headcanons! Thanks so much in advance!! 💞

Kyo Dating Head-canons~

ᴀ/ɴ: There are spoilers of the end of the manga so if you don’t wanna get spoiled then read until the next warning ‼️ I hope you like it 💘

𓃠 AYO YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A TSUNDERE BUT VERY SOFT CHECK

𓃠Blushes at the slightest acts of affection

You can like peck his cheek and a tomato would be appear. Boom! Mystery •-•

𓃠 A lot of times of him admiring you

𓃠 Also you know that thing where he hits Tohru with his knuckle gently? He does it to you and IT IS SO CUTE I LITERALLY CANT

𓃠 Appreciates you so much for accepting him and for giving him a chance

𓃠 FOREHEAD KISSES ARE A M U S T

He thinks that they hold a special meaning

𓃠 He LOVES when you cuddle him as a cat

𓃠 Purrs when you play with his hair in his human form ◕-◕

𓃠 Climbing Tress is something you grew to love because of him

𓃠 You would think his kisses are rough cause he is one angry boy BUT his kisses are so gentle 🥺

𓃠 He wants to show you how much he loves you and how he cherishes you a lot through every way possible

𓃠 This child would never say it out loud but please remind him that you love him and accept him

𓃠 You stop his orange ass from fighting yuki 24/7 so he doesn’t get hurt-

𓃠 Oh and you protect him from Kagura 💃🏻

Okay lovelies the coming stuff contains spoilers!

So if you haven’t finished the manga then I don’t recommend continuing ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

| Giving you a chance to not read if you don’t

| want spoilers~

𓃠 AYO YOUR BOYFRIEND IS STILL A TSUNDERE BUT VERY SOFT CHECK

𓃠 Anyways

𓃠 MAN WAS HE OVERJOYED

𓃠 HE CAN FINALLY HOLD YOU IN HIS ARMS WITHOUT HIM TURNING INTO A CAT

𓃠 When he knew that the curse was broken he ran to you and engulfed you in a big hug

𓃠 My poor baby had tears of joy to finally fear your warmth like normal people 🥺

Would deny it later though 🧍‍♀️tsundere

𓃠 He makes sure that he makes up for the times you couldn’t touch each other

𓃠 Cuddles you for HOURS and I mean you are not complaining- are you? ಠ_ಠ

𓃠 The most loving make-out sessions that cease to exist

Would always whisper about how much he loves you and how he loves all of you in between the kisses

𓃠 He is so soft for you aw 🥰

𓃠 Holding hands is something he loves a lot cause it reassures him

𓃠 Back hugs~!

Always nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck with a smile

𓃠 T i c k l e F i g h t s

𓃠 If you cup his face and say softly and with determination that you love him there will be three outcomes

1~ Kyo.exe stopped functioning and is now bursting into loads of blush

2~ If he was feeling down or emotional then he would tear up a little JUST A LITTLE and hug you tightly returning your words

3~ Will throw anything soft he finds at you and starts screaming that you shouldn’t just say that out of nowhere while there is blush still evident on his face

𓃠 Wether with the curse or without it you mean so much to him and what removing the curse does is allowing physical contact which is a plus but he wouldn’t mind if it was still there as long as you are in his life

𓃠 He just loves you unconditionally

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 3 years

Note

Hiya love!! CONGRATULATIONS ON ALL YOUR FOLLWERS BBYYYY!! 🥳🥳🥳 IM SO PROUD OF YOU!! I HAVENT BEEN FOLLOWING YOU FOR THAT LONG BUT I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU GROW. You deserve it all and more.

If it's still open, is it okay if I get a kinnie coldbrew please? And thank you in advance.

I'm really introverted and hate social interactions and meeting new people, even online

And I hate going outside in public

I just dont know how to make friends or even talk to people without panicking

I see the people around me having online friends and I'm sat there like how??? I just about have irl friends

It takes me a long long time to get used to people and even start thinking about opening up to them

All of my friends are people I've knows for a good 6/7 years, I hate being introduced to new people

I hate havinh big groups of friends as well

Usually whenever my friends go out I tend to avoid it, but when I do I'm usually at the back walking by myself

I just withdraw myself when in big groups and just become invisible

But in small groups of like 3 people or just me with someone else I thrive

My friends think they know me really well, but it's one of them ones where I mask my true emotions and feelings with waffle

It's not that I dont trust them, I just dont want to share my feelings with anyone or talk about myself, usually I just make jokes

I grew up in an environment where I was taught not to cry and not to be emotional, and my mother was very insistent on that, and it just became natural to me. I cant even remember the last time I cried, it was definitely a good 2/3 years ago

I have a lot of patience when it comes to anger, like I dont let it out, sometimes I get really really angry at the littlest things people do, but then it dies down in like 3 seconds. I dont know how to explain it, but it's like a hot flash and then it goes, other times it builds slowly and I just let it fester

But I hate confrontation

Absolutely hate it

I would never actually do anything with the anger or hurt I feel, i just let it sit inside of me and hold it in

People do come to me for advice and help, I wont sugarcoat anything, I'll tell you the honest (and sometimes harsh) truth and then help you get overcome your problem as well

Because of that I can sometimes come across as harsh because i wont bullshit you or beat around the bush if you need me to talk to you like that

I do the absolute most for my friends, I'd drop anything for them if they need help and I often find myself putting their happiness before my own, and lowkey (highkey) it hurts when I dont receive the same energy back, but it's ok we move

I'm usually the one doing all the work in a group presentation, mainly because no one else is bothered to do it, so I just do it all

I do all the work, they present

I dont know how to show the people around me that I love them, even though I really really do

I hate it when people touch me or try to give me hugs and I avoid them

But secretly I yearn for them and I just want someone to cuddle me

But I'm not used to physical affection at all and it really embarrasses me

It's a bit of a sticky one ngl

For me, it's so important to be polite and open minded

I think that's why people come to me for advice and shit, because I suck at comforting people, but I wont judge you at all also because I'm quite approachable as well

Unless you're a trump supporter, then I will roast the living shit out of you

I'm really into literature and reading, whether it be classics, manga, graphic novels, or just normal fiction

I just love reading

And doing anything creative tbh

I read percy jackson when I was young and it basically formed my entire personality

That's where my love for mythology started and over the years its become more refined and I just love it even more

I like to think I'm a nice person

I always try and make people smile and laugh and know that they're loved and acknowledged by me

In stressful situations I find myself being really calm

To the point it looks like I dont care

And I'll tell you that I dont care as well

But on the inside I'm panicking and its eating me up on the inside

I either do one of two things and they're both polar opposites

I either try and resolve it as soon as possible or I ignore it for as long as I can and leave it for future me to handle

It's not very healthy but I'm still here so, I guess it's fine

I dont find myself getting stressed FOR myself that often, if you get what I'm saying

Usually when i feel emotions it's for other people??? Like I'd be stressed for someone else, sad for someone else and angry for someone else, but I'd never really feel something for myself

Yeahh I usually stay calm and nonchalant though

Ahhhh, this is soo longgg, I'm so sorry about that, I just started venting halfway through and forgot that this was an ask. I'm so sorry and I hope you dont mind. Thank you so so much though, I appreciate it a lot. Make sure you're taking regular breaks and drinking lots and lots of water, make sure you're taking care of yourself. Thank you so much xxx 🥰🥰

THANK YOU THANK YOU ❤️

@tsukkispoundlandheadphones

You are a...

Sakusa Kinnie

Similarities

Alright stating the obvious

YOU BOTH HATE PEOPLE TOUCHING YOU

Although it might be for different reasons

That doesn’t change the fact that you both low key hate people

You both hate social interactions

Whether it be online or in person

Being social is just a no go for you two

Your only friends are people who you’ve known for a long time

Cmon

Sakusa’s friend is LITERALLY his cousin

Like FAMILY

You both are very slow to anger

Cant relate

Like when have we EVER seen sakusa get mad at someone

Disgusted with someone sure

But MAD I don’t think so

Blunt bitches

You both are blunt af

You both just tell it as it is

I mean someone has to do it

Ok this is hard to explain cause there’s no evidence behind it...

But he responds to stressful situations JUST like you

Don’t question it to much

It’s just true

Assumptions I Have About You

I’m sorry but your hot

No buts about it

Speaking of

Here 👐 takes some self confidence

You deserve it I promise

LonerTM

How’s being a homebody?

You let people take the lead in most situations

EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE THE CAPABILITY TO BE A LEADER

Rbf?

Ok we know you don’t like people touching you

But you absolutely HATE strangers touching you

You either genuinely enjoy cleaning

Or you stress clean

Ilysm never change the world needs more sakusas ❤️

200 Follower Event

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons #sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kin #sakusa kinnie #sakusa Hc #sakusa headcanons

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misterbitches · 3 years

Text

i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #*dont call me western ever #a thot

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og-danny-dorito · 4 years

Note

Abe and a fem s/o getting frisky for the first time would be epic 👀

GOD hey sorry this took so long and okay YES because I'm nasty, but also because pure fish boy is my life =w=  . In repayment for being patient for so long i put some extra effort into this one. I hope u like em ;3

Abe And Fem!S/o’s First Time : 

- SO i love my fish boy and hold him dearly to my heart with all of my being, but when i say this it’s the truth and i can’t do anything about it: he has literally no expirence. Like, at all

- now this is for a number of reasons, mainly being that he doesnt get out of the base often and not everyone there is a part of the Monsterfucker ClubTM, but do i really need to list off why he doesnt have any expieince??? He’s probably demisexual already, but he doesnt even leave the library often, so why would he have any sexual expirnece or real exposure (hes pure, dont @ me)

- so this evidently means that when you bring it up to him while the two of you are alone, he’s going to mentally loose his shit. Outwardly he might just falter a little bit and say “Pardon?” but internally he’s not only screeching but panicking because Jesus Christ ive never dONE THIS BEFORE

- seriously, you havent even done anything and he’s panicking already. At first he might be kinda evasive about it because truth be told, he’s not even sure how that would work. I have my own theories about abe’s uhhhh,,,, reproductive anatomy, but generally speaking none of them entail human assets in any way shape or form. At least, not mostly.

- now we already know my mans is self conscious about his body with a human s/o already, and so this amps up his anxiety. What if you dont like the way he looks? What if you don’t find him attractive anymore?? What if-

- abe is terrified, and i’ts obvious in the way he evades you after asking. Reassuring him that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to makes him even MORE embarassed, but he guesses that it would've been brought up at some point, right??? It takes some discussion and some very quiet and vague questions from abe, but after like an hour of discussion he finally agrees that it’s a good idea and confirms that he wants to

- it cant be that bad, right? He might not be completely clueless the whole time, right??? Well, his reassurances turn against him as soon as youre behind closed doors. He’s more nervous than hes every been ever and he’s bouncing his legs while he waits at the edge of the bed with his eyes GLUED to the floor

- ‘is it rude to look? Wait, no, we’re havng sex, why would Y/n not want me to look- but maybe they’re self conscious- OH TAKING OFF THE SHIRT U H H H ALRIGHT JUST,,, ACT NATURAL.’ And then he just doesn't look you in the eye the whole time cause he doesnt want to seem like he’s doing something wrong - -;

- regardless though, this whole point I'm trying to get at is pretty obvious. Abe doesnt know what he’s doing and if YOU know what you’re doing, you’re going to have to guide him through it. Abe is a quick learner and so maybe on the third or fourth time he’ll finally get a grip on what he’s doing, or at least start trying more adamatley to get a grip on what he’s doing

- now, it’s very likely that my mans is submissive in the beginning and as time goes on proceeds to be the bottom he is, mainly due to the fact that he's extremely sensitive in areas you wouldnt flinch at if you were touched there. For comparison i prepared one of my diagrams to help you with visualizing. This is going to ave an actual picture of abe since there aren't very many outlines of fish men for purposes such as these very scientific ones

- as you can see his gills are extremely snsitive, as well as his back, thighs, neck, pecs, and ribs. If you touch where his happy trail WOULD be if he like, had hair, theres an instant boner and it will appear with or without his permission, no questions asked. When he gets aroused he tends to be very avoidant of himself because he doesnt think it’s proper for him to get so riled up over such simple things, but he does and he hides it terribly. This is where kinks come in (one of his being teasing even though he begs for you to stop every time you do it to him, thus revealing begging), but that’s not our main focus

- his touch is essentially hesitant and needy all at the same time, and so your first time he might actually shake a little with nervousness and need. I say he lasts five minutes tops if you’re just going to dish out whats going on, but ten minutes if you're going to add some foreplay into it and maybe get a little bit of devotional reassurance afterwards

- if it’s BOTH your first time he’ll suggest research but try to avoid porn because he’s embarrassed to even process the concept of watching it and also pornography caters to monster fuckers but doesnt give anatomy-accurate diagrams on what to do with his dick so you’re gonna have to mostly wing it

- overall boyfriend rating is 10/10; inexpirenced, but still eager and willing to follow orders correctly. Best bottom, v sweet boy. Needs emotional support afterwards.

Thanks For Asking! :)

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squeeneyart · 3 years

Text

Breathe in the Salt - Chapter 18

AO3

Beta reader is @thesnadger!

Communication is established.

Martin has a job to do.

After months of near constant solitude and a week of above-average social interaction, Martin had to deal with an unhappy middle: Peter, with no warning or pattern, would appear at the lighthouse at whatever time seemed to suit his fancy. Bright and early one day, late lunch the next, twice already on Thursday, all for reasons Martin couldn’t wonder aloud at for fear of seeming too curious.

No alone time meant no poking his nose around. Not that he was supposed to, keeping his head down and all that, but sitting around wasn’t doing his nerves any favors.

It was easy to imagine Peter hiring someone to tail him home, so Martin never dared to take a new path or turn for that whole week. When he got home he stayed home. When he got to work he stayed at work. And when he walked in either direction he most certainly never took the sharp turn toward the Fairchild home, no matter how intensely curious he got.

So, once the group text was actually formed early in the next week (Tim: it was a promise not a threat!), Martin had taken part in the first of many nearly identical conversations. They boiled down to:

Martin: peters been weird, cant predict when he’ll be around

Sasha: we’re still pretty locked up, will let you know if things change

Jon: Elias has been elusive but I’m working on it.

Tim: can’t keep us busy forever

Besides some scattered thoughts and jokes primarily from Tim that got Martin through the more tedious aspects of the work day, the messages were all vague statements telling him “soon, we promise” and random tidbits from him of Peter being weird. The whirlwind of progress from the week prior was over. Waiting and sitting on his hands was all Martin had left.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

Jon had a lot more to say over phone calls than text. That much was clear by Tuesday night as Jon called to elaborate on his frustrations with Elias and continue other topics they’d discussed the conversion prior. The burden of starting the call and coming up with a topic was blessedly off Martin's shoulders, and it made the idea of regular conversations seem more possible.

While it was a relief to still talk to someone at length, Martin knew he would run out of things to say before long. He had no stories from the university he never attended, and Jon had been witness to Martin’s strangest place of work. The more he could deflect personal questions and get Jon to talk about himself, the longer it would take for Martin to be revealed as... well. Dull.

Still, he hoped that Jon would call again soon. If Martin was around for it.

It was Thursday. Peter had been around twice already with no warning. It was getting to be mid-afternoon and he still had a duty to perform. That part of his contract hadn’t changed.

Martin groaned into his desk. It wasn’t fair to have his most mindless and daydream-conducive task twisted into something horrifying. Some little part of him hoped that Sasha’s reasoning from the week before would hold some water, that his knowledge of what was coming would somehow keep him aware of his surroundings.

There was one way to find out, as much as it made his stomach squirm, and the thought of doing so with Peter around was enough to propel Martin out of his chair and toward the cleaning closet.

He began to mop the main floor with a fervor. If Sasha was right and he managed to avoid getting sucked into a wall, Peter absolutely could not witness it. He would have to move fast, even if it scared the shit out of him. And really, was it so scary? It wasn’t something he remembered, and it never hurt him. Probably. He would at least feel pain if something had happened, right?

He had always been fine. A bit sore from lugging things up the stairs, but otherwise nothing had harmed him as far as he knew. What was he afraid of? A person that could watch him as he went about his work in a haze? Or the wall refusing to release him after he entered, trapping him without ever releasing his mind from-

Oh, no, his heart was racing, his hands shaking more by the second. Swallowing had become more difficult, dry throat and a tongue that felt three times too big. Martin walked toward the stairs, trying to keep water level in the mop bucket. The water level was the only evidence that he’d lost time, and he wasn’t going to do this without something to show for it.

Letting out a breath that sent shivers down his arms, Martin placed the mop down and took out his phone.

Martin: so im going upstairs now? to do the mop thing?

Martin: gonna try and use an old analog tape recorder like you all said. any final thoughts would be appreciated

He waited, growing more concerned by the second that he would get no answer, but finally someone responded.

Jon: Sounds like you’re all set. Be sure to send a message here once you’ve gotten back out again, or if you don’t go in at all.

Tim: yeah any situation where your feet are on solid ground really

Jon: You said before that Peter was around. Is it safe to assume he’s left?

Martin: ok will do. he’s not here now so im getting it over with so he wont see anything weird

Jon: Okay, good luck and let us know when you’re out.

Martin: thanks

Sasha: if things start to seem off, retreat back downstairs and call us immediately

Tim: ^^^

Martin: okay, talk to you all soon

Before Martin pocketed his phone, he saw Tim leaving a string of thumbs-up and broom emojis, and as he began up the stairs the occasional vibration in his pocket revealed that something was happening past his goodbye. It wouldn’t be good for the recording if he kept it on like that, but he had no intention of silencing the phone or the people on the other end. He clicked on the tape recorder, placed it in his pocket, and began his climb.

The bucket and mop were as unwieldy as ever, and for not the first time he thought about how nice an elevator would be for his knees before shaking his head. This was a time for focus. Drifting thoughts were a one-way ticket to lost time in a much more literal sense than usual.

He was walking up a rather repetitive staircase, but every once in a while there would be an imperfection that reminded him of where he was in space. A crack here, some chipped paint there. Looking around there were plenty of place markers. His feet were on stairs that were the same as they always were.

About a quarter of the way up, this method began to make his stomach flip. Once, he looked too far ahead, too much up. So he kept his eyes down. He’d been keeping to the inside of the stairs, but his gaze drifted too far and oh, no, another spiral leading down which was worse.

This building, he thought, didn’t appreciate him looking too hard. Fine. He could stay present without a visual anchor. There was still buzzing coming from his pocket, thought less often than before. At least they were still around. If anything happened, they would know quickly and be able to do something. Sure, he hadn’t seen them solve any problems yet, but there was enough confidence between the three of them that they had to have some level of competence.

Martin looked down at the bucket in his hand and held back a scream.

Instead, he hissed at the thing, “When?! We aren’t even halfway up! I let myself think for two seconds and- oh, dammit!” He dug into his pocket for the tape recorder, but it was nowhere to be found.

Martin turned toward the wall, any fear being quickly replaced by petty indignation. “Hey! I paid for that! You can’t just- as if you even need to pick my pockets when you’re a big, stupid voice recorder all on your own!”

Besides the echo of his own voice bouncing up and away from him (mocking him, probably) nothing bothered to respond. He had half a mind to toss the bucket and mop down the stairs for the sake of his aching arms, but he resumed his walk with a quickened pace. If Peter hadn’t come back yet, and it didn’t sound like he had, Martin would do something while he had the time.

At the top of the stairs, Martin opened up the group chat just long enough to type one message.

Martin: lighthouse stole my tape recorder

Then he stuffed the mobile away and made a beeline for the horrible machine he’d been faced with every day that week. His phone buzzed with incoming messages, the motion in his pocket slowly becoming more of a reassurance.

First, he took the time to look at it as a whole. The back couldn’t be reached with it pressed up against the inner wall. Did it make sense for it to be put there? Unsurprisingly, when he’d finally looked up how lighthouses were supposed to work, the panel itself was nowhere to be found as part of the process. What a surprise!

When he’d started the new order of button pushing that past Friday, he’d tried to listen for the mechanisms behind it, but he didn’t know enough about normal mechanics let alone whatever this was to make any judgments. He’d cursed himself then for not paying attention and asking more questions at the start, but there was no helping it.

Really, the fact that he’d been hired at all should’ve been a dead giveaway.

The dial that had once allowed Evan to speak was entirely cut out from the process, a disconnected thing that gave no feedback after being twisted. Did that mean the entire cause was lost? Or had its function been moved to another piece, or a series of pieces-

“Ah, Martin, thought I might find you up here.”

Martin was going to die.

It was a thought that came unbidden, the only clear thing in his head as he turned to find Peter Lukas climbing the last stair without a sound coming from his less than newly polished leather shoes. The soles should’ve made a clicking sound.

Peter looked at him and smiled. “Scared you, didn’t I? Always been told I have quiet feet.”

“Yeah, you did. Wasn’t very nice.” He couldn’t keep the slight shake out of his voice. His hand reached out and grasped the mop’s hand.

“Not for you maybe, but the look on your face is very funny.” The smile grew just a little more cheerful.

“Sure. Well, I’m-”

“Cleaning, right,” Peter said, pressing a hand to his forehead as if remembering something. “Glad to see the last smudges from them wiped away, if I’m honest. More people, more mess for you to clean up later.”

“I suppose, yeah. Need to clean anyway, though.” To emphasize his point, Martin began to clean the floor around and away from the panel. “Did you…”

“Oh, no, nothing really. Just wanted to check in a bit more after all the... disruption from before. And to make you jump a little. Need to make my own fun, sometimes. The week has been dreadful, Martin.”

And you’re spreading the feeling around. “Hm,” Martin replied, as dismissive and uninterested as he could muster.

Martin could hear the smile in Peter’s voice and knew he’d failed to dampen the man’s strange energy. “Yes, well, I’ll be off. When-” And then Peter was interrupted by a prolonged buzzing in Martin’s pocket. “Need to answer that?”

Shrugging, Martin continued to mop and kept his eyes to the ground. “Weird spam call, probably. Mum wouldn’t call my mobile.”

“Mm, good answer. Company time and all that.” With an odd stretching motion, Peter glanced out the window. “Oh, and what were you doing when I came up?”

“Stretches,” Martin replied abruptly. He coughed and evened out his voice. “The walk up is terrible.”

“And that’s why I have you do it for me!” Peter’s laugh came out rough and strangely quiet, a noise that settled under Martin’s skin. The old man’s face twisted into an unreadable smile, something that underneath the mirth felt like a taunt. “But enough of that. Don’t know if I’ll be back again today. And keep that thing quiet if you’re not expecting work calls. Nothing worse than being contacted from anywhere in the world at any time, truly.” The smile seemed to sink into a genuine, almost childlike frown, and Peter slinked back down the stairs without another sound.

After about five minutes of mopping, Martin released the hand and collapsed on the couch. Stupid, stupid, of course he would come right as he was about to fiddle with things.

The prolonged vibrations had ceased some minutes ago, and Martin finally opened the group chat to see what he’d missed. There were several messages from earlier in which Tim and the others had continued to chat. Then his message and general confusion and concern which Martin had expected. Finally, a missed call from Sasha, followed by a text.

Sasha: do we need to get over there?

Blinking, Martin considered the message. Was that an option?

Martin: no everything is over

Martin: peter came in, had to lie about it being a spam call

Jon: of course he did

Sasha: well, call when you think it’s safe

Tim: and maybe check your pockets

Immediately, Martin patted himself down, though nothing seemed amiss. His phone was of course still on him, and there was nothing new.

Martin: everything else is the same. the lighthouse wasnt nice enough to trade something for my tape recorder

Tim: :(

Jon: Sasha is right. We’ll do better if we talk over the phone later when you’re sure to be out of Lukas’ sight. Keep inventory of your things and call us when you can.

Hesitating for a moment, Martin looked down at the winding stairs.

Martin: if you had to get here how long would it take

Sasha: about two hours if i’m driving

Martin: right

Martin: okay. ill call you soon

The same conclusion was made as before, only moreso. Martin would keep his head down with exactly zero poking around. The lockscreen of his mobile would show no notifications to mitigate the risk of eavesdropping (what if his phone was stolen by his evil workplace?), and unless there was some sort of emergency no messages or calls were to be made during his work hours.

Peter certainly knew something was going on. There was no point in pretending otherwise. Martin would have to hope they were both committed to playacting their routine for as long as the others needed to get back and do something.

The thought dug a pit in his stomach. Pretending that everything was exactly the way it had been was just... being alone for most of the day. He’d enjoyed receiving random messages at work and the sudden movement in his pocket that meant someone was around. It was a normal thing for people, texting when they’re supposed to be working. Pity he’d mucked it up so fast.

Long after he’d prepared for sleep, Martin sat on his bed with mobile in hand. His contact list was so short that he didn’t even need to scroll to find Jon’s name. It was right under an old manager he’d never deleted from his contacts.

His thumb twitched over the call button. He wasn’t going to do it, but it was a nice thought. They’d already spoken at length today, with everyone showing enough concern that Martin had needed the alone time afterwards to breath.

That being said, enough time had passed for him to be itching for any conversation he could get, and he wanted to talk to Jon because he still didn’t quite get Sasha, and conversation with Tim tended to run short because Martin didn’t know how to keep things going after he’d dumped all of his grievances on the guy the week prior.

And he liked talking to Jon. And maybe it was because Martin understood a topic Jon cared deeply about, but Jon seemed to like talking to Martin, too.

There was no call that night, and he was out 20 pounds for that tape recorder from the resale shop.

#tma #the magnus archives #breathe in the salt #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #sasha james #timothy stoker #peter lukas #jonmartin #fanfic #au fanfic #selkie au

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crackcrocs · 3 years

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DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #1

1. The backbone to my emotions

As someone who cannot conceptualise time in any way whatsoever, I want to say sorry to my loved ones. I'm aware I still need to send my friends messages every once in a while and remind them I still want to be their friends and I need to actively work on this. I need to overcome this fear stopping me from being present and accepting peoples love and support. I want to break free from me and I want to feel content being on this earth, I want nothing more than to enjoy experiences with my loved ones. I love you I love you.

I am a young charismatic, creative individual learning to do things differently so I don't always have the same outcomes. I suffer from a Cluster B Personality Disorder; under the same umbrella of mental health I also experience extremely intrusive thoughts on a daily basis, that can become obsessive and compulsively hyper fixated thoughts in an instant. I have anxiety, depression and a lot of the time I’m deeply dissociated to a point where I struggle to believe I’m even real, even when I do know I am real- I have no attachment to my limbs or body as a whole and only feel alive in a spiritual sense or when I self harm. I don't want to get too into my illnesses; as I’m not someone who really likes labels, just know that everyday is a battle and each personality that exists within me is different. I wouldn't say drastically, however its evident for me and living with so many different masks can be intense. Especially when you've tried to convince people that you're just one solid mould in the hopes they don't perceive you as an intense person. I am going to try to take you through a few of my altars and moods starting with the emptiest subconscious alters that I call the backbones of my emotions to the more powerful energetic ones that haven't managed to yet consume me over the years. I hope this can give people an insight.

Overall I present a pretty confident front, I like to appear like I’ve got my life together even though I’m so far from it, sometimes I’m not sure ill even find the strength to go on long enough in attempt to get my life together, which is a real problem but it's the sad truth. Don't waste time reading this if you're easily triggered as this piece of writing will consist of real and genuine feelings. I’m in no attempt trying to create content for people who enjoy turning blind eyes and wishing they didn’t see this so I’ll give you a fair warning. I'm not responsible for your triggers, whereas I’m responsible for the things I’ve done. I might have cared too much at one point, but I will not hold myself captive to those situations nor will I regret them. I want the lies, deceit and hurt that I’ve committed against loved ones to end, my secrecy has done enough damage and its exhausting pushing people away even though that’s not usually the intent, truth is I am so embarrassed of myself. I'm private, secretive and mysterious but I’ll also talk about my childhood trauma after like 5 minutes. I guess this says I’m happy to talk about my trauma because it's what I know and am comfortable with, I just struggle to tell anyone the real suicidal me behind my problems. I hate that I’m so young and feel like a dead person already.

I tend to act out or distance myself due to fear which isn’t clear at first if you know me, but does become obvious. I might appear as someone with no care in the world, like I’m unbothered, but I assure you that's the African pride combined with the Leo pride. I also don't want people to treat me like a footstool, which has happened when I’ve come off ass too passive. I care so much and over think absolutely everything, it's literally my only way of thinking. I have little to no self esteem and I have no clue who confidence is unless under the influence of something, be it weed, alcohol or psychedelics (which I don't take much of because I enjoy them and don't want to abuse them) I mean I can function sober, I don't even like to be out of control high or drunk, but as Chief Keef once said, I hate being sober. #i'mTrash4thereference. Although I’m not fully healed and functioning yet, I’m a developed character with both positive and negative traits. At the moment I’m going back and fourth between 'just stop trying' and 'you cant give up'. Sometimes depression is kind of like looking at yourself through a window, there’s this part of your brain that understands it'll pass, but you’re so far into despair that its impossible to see the way out, its a lot like being trapped. I am having a bad patch right now, the difference between this one and the last one is I’m more self aware with less of a desire to go on. At least I’m no longer suffering from paranoia and thinking everyone's out to get me all the time or that I’ll get trafficked walking home from somewhere, but depression and mania are so bloody invasive and there’s always that little voice in my head telling me ill never be good enough. Executive dysfunction kills my motivation because I have so many things to do and I cant pick anything to start first, it gets worse when my depression gets worse too. I'm not lonely though; I have a few people who care for me- and while I'm trying to not involve them in the metal episode, they are around to talk to and that means so much. My friends are super encouraging even though I've only briefly mentioned that I'm having a sad time right now, and that's awesome.

I hate that no matter how much better I get there's still this deep desire to get worse. I don't feel like a real person. I just feel like a collection of what people want me to be and various mental disorders. It would be so cool if I could admit to the world I have a personality disorder without feeling disgusting and without fear.

I've had plenty time to reflect upon every bit of thought that created the barbed wire surrounding my logical brain, I want to feel okay to be alive, but I so strongly just want to die. I am tired of fluctuating from feeling extremely vigorously suicidal to passively suicidal; where I just don't have the energy to carry it out myself. It's gotten way past the point that it doesn't matter what kind of day I have, I think about killing myself all day. Sleep is an escape from life and I'm always tired and wanting to 'sleep'. Deep down I feel like I’m waiting for the right time to end my life and it's not the right time yet because I still have a footprint to leave behind, I still have journal pages I want to burn. I cant just jump off the highest accessible building or mall car park I could find just yet- I don’t just want to ruin others by hurting them with my death. It's sad to think I grew into this mindset, waking up wishing I was dead.

Being abandoned by many people in the past made me doubt people and think everyone was out to get me or wanted something from me, it made me feel hurt and lone. So I felt it would be better to let people down before they could hurt me so I wouldn't repeat the same cycle when forming new connections. It wasn't intentional but I could just silence myself due to fear.

I just found myself feeling immensely hopeless, like I was too internally enraged at the external world to be able to trust anything of it. I definitely do want to get better because I’m tired of feeling this way, it's so exhausting and I hate pushing people away from me like I’m poison. I need to allow people to accept all of me.

Before picking up these coping mechanisms when I was younger and more insecure; I wanted to be a part of the world, I had this strong urge to fit in. I had to learn how to manage my anxiety and socialising became more exhausting stemming from my fear of being 'odd' or 'different', I didn’t want to be called out for being different- it was not a compliment at that age, it always felt like a being the joker in the card deck. I was intensely afraid of being judged or labelled as such. Being told I was a 'weirdo' didn't help at all, that type of criticism is what got to me the most. People made me feel like I needed to change, like I was too African, even in a joking manner it didn't help- because although I was okay with who I was, I did feel like I had to change and westernise myself to fit in. I ended up hanging around with people that didn't care, doing stupid things I didn’t even want to do, dating people I didn't connect with. Eventually I got tired of people using me for entertainment, tired of catering to those who refused to understand. I still have to admit there were many periods that I lowered my frequency to be on the wavelength of others that did not match mines at all, I hate that I'm someone who always feels the need to explain myself so people don't think I'm a bad person and even though I don't owe it to everyone and now I am able to make better choices and I'm no longer easily influenced, it still hurts that i was ever around people that made me feel like I was over exaggerating my mental health or uncomfortable to a point where I learned to downplay it or the mention of it. Now as a coping mechanism I’ve become so facetious and sarcastic about my trauma it's a struggle to take myself seriously at times. Users and abusers belittled me to such a point where I felt they'd underestimated my intelligence and most of all humiliated me. It made me tired of justifying myself so now most days I’m just a mute, but I really do finally have good people in my life who deserve some sort of explanation and it's a shame they don't get to be experience a truly present consistent me. It’s just after having the wrong eyes on me, I don’t want anything to see me. I hate attention because I’m so embarrassed of myself I don’t want to be noticed. People looking at me make me want to kill myself.

I've been told to move past my rage, to let go and become a grounded and level headed person. I've been told there is hope for all of us. Must be nice to believe that, all I could wonder was what it was like to get angry without getting homicidal and suicidal. Even on most days where nothing extreme would happen besides negative emotions, my brain still travelled to a dark realm. I've come to a point where I want to live in my daydream universe wile I physically rot away. That's my business. Sometimes I feel as though all my friendships are on a timer, or more so it's that my timer is about to go off, so I subconsciously shy away and make sure i have no deep friendships. Just in case my head decides to do something stupid.

I don't want to have no friends, I want to have friends and I do value friendships so much more than entitled relationships, I just have a difficulty maintaining friendships because it's exhausting for me, it takes a lot of energy to be social and on a level that isn't just superficial where I can just let go and allow myself to fully be. Sometimes I have a hard time relating to other people, and thus I may feel I don’t belong or don’t quite fit in- causing me to feel irritated, paranoid or even in pain during social situations. It's not always this bad, and I don't mean for it to sound dramatic. It's different when In person and I’m really relaxed and comfortable with the company. However virtually socialising and expressing will always be extremely anxiety enducing and its something I need to overcome especially going into this new phase of Artificial Intelligence. So if I start to drift away it most likely isn't a reflection of you. The cycle goes I need alone time to recharge then I realise how long has passed and I just feel so bad I haven’t gotten back, I tell myself I’m an awful friend for dissociating for so long, and then I don’t know how to explain that so my anxiety rises, mood drops and I spiral back into a pit of depression, often wanting to relapse but refraining from doing so. Sometimes I manage to get out of the pit, but by then so much has piled up I don't know where or how to begin again.

I don't feel like I could have a normal friendship as well as romantic relationship. It's hard for me to long term imagine myself being fully relaxed enough to let my guard down and not reluctant to express. I don’t think there’s any condition where ill just be came and enjoy a connection without worrying that the other person isn’t putting in as much effort, or they have an image of me, or that I’ve amplified the emotions and even though I feel them that way do they really understand me or love me as much. Silence is so upsetting and I hate the fact I do it when I'm afraid of myself or don't feel good enough. I never intent for it to become 'the silent treatment' because in reality its not treating anyone, it's more a reflection of what I’m internalizing and not wanting or being unable to project and express those feelings without feeling like party pooper, an attention seeker or 'too deep'. I don't mean to give people false hope, I love the people in my life so much and every one I’ve met on this journey. I'm learning to look at life through a different lens and the people who contributed to my suffering will not be the definition of me. People have led me to believe so much and strung me along, not letting me go- and I realised those entitled controlling abusive relationships were not serving me. I couldn't keep doing it. Now even though I want closeness I end up pushing people away or leaving them in the dark because of fear, especially of something new because I've never experienced anything good and true for a long enough duration of time to rid me of that fear. I also have fear of rejection or hurting, I fear becoming too emotionally invested and becoming co dependant so I end up wanting to avoid the pain than actually wanting to experience the joy and growth the relationship could offer, so I end it before it begins to avoid any possible pain. I feel like I don't deserve these connections,and sometimes the depression runs so deep I have to push people away in case I want to do something stupid- I don’t want them to feel at fault, or obligated to be able to handle me. Sometimes I really can just only be with myself and my thoughts so I hide but it may appear that I’m pushing others away because of my isolation and neglect.

With everyone I know, I get this feeling that they're too good for me, their energy is so radiant and loving but I feel so broken and don’t want to depend on that. I've had perfectly ideal people come into my life and I feel they’re too good for me because I have a lot of work to do on myself first, primarily I need to build up confidence and self esteem because it's the root of most my issues. I want to relate to people, share our deepest fears and wishes without fear of judgement. It's not that I don't want to get better, I simply cannot remember what it was like to have an actual honest to god normal personality. The feeling of being a mentally unstable chameleon is all I have now. I AM my illness, that's the only identifier I have left. I can't remember normality.

I understand that I’m lucky and I’m not ungrateful for the things and people I do have, it doesn’t mean that my life doesn’t suck because of those lucky things. I often think about if someone created technology to transfer life to another, I’d happily give them mine because they'd live it much better than me, I’m not worth anything to myself. I never wanted to be someone to cause pain on the people I love but now I do, even if that’s just through silence. I just disappear when I haven’t been doing well and although I know things get better, recovery isn’t linear and that not all my days are bad, I just have extreme chronic feelings of emptiness.

I struggle to trust people because I don't want to be hurt but I need people so much, I hate feeling unloved. It's so overwhelming because I feel everything so extremely as if I’m going to explode.

My sense of self and reality feels destroyed, my future and dreams are uncertain and it's hard for me to move on, sometimes it scares me what I’m doing to people without the intention of it, being too much or not enough- or at least feeling that way. It's hard for me to give myself a reason and it's not on the people around me to fill my empty void, I hate forcing people to be my friend or understand my illness. I cant expect anyone to want to- it feels like I’m holding their hand while they pull it away; and even though it's not the case I feel awful, I constantly feel like I’m in a more pessimistic head space. I'm worried people will realise I'm as pathetic as I say I am.

#LCZABIBU #deathwillonlybethebeginning

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yoshroomoto · 4 years

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IkePri characters and who they remind me of so far~~

Okie so Ikemen Prince is finally out and even though I’m certainly confused as heck relying on a translator to get me by, I’m really enjoying it so far and seeing the absolute chaos between the characters. I wanted to compile a little thingy where I went in on each of the characters and talked about who they remind me of (so far) compared to other cybird characters. Since we don’t have any of the character notes yet, I was thinking about the “recommended if you like” bit when I put this together.

I will note though, this is just how I see them so far and I’m definitely not insisting these are the only characters they’re similar too, or that they’re completely similar to any which one- merely just an opinion ive gathered so far from reading and it could always change as I get further in and we learn more about them :D. So here’s my initial thoughts on each prince, and I put it in age order (the numbers they’re given) and then followed with Sariel and Rio. ~ enjoy!

Jin- Ayooo, this is a total mash up of all the other “mature adult” characters cybird has given us so far. He’s got some Sirius, Shingen, and Leonardo all rolled up in him and it’s certainly interesting. Now, the most obvious comparison to draw just from face alone is to Sirius of course, because they literally look like they could be twins. Aside from that, Jin has that same “smh these kids” part of him even when the Mc first meets him and he tells her to ignore their antics. Unlike Sirius though, this man is a complete FLIRT and is always chasing the ladies, which makes him a lot like ol’ man Shingen with his skanky wisdom. Jin is also known to be pretty close to Luke, and it seems they’re a good example of having a solid friendship out of the princes and that’s not totally unlike Shingen and Yukimura. Their relationship is probably more of just getting along well and maybe a little bit of mentoring instead of Yuki and Shingen’s constant mothering of one another, but the two of them are still a good example of a strong relationship with loyalty and understanding like Shingen and Yuki have, especially when a lot of the others seem to be more sporadic or lone wolves in regards to one another. Now then, let’s not forget Papi Leonardo!! Despite being the oldest and the “adult” of the group, Jin cannot whatsoever be bothered to be part of court life and taking his responsibility seriously, a lot like Leonardo who doesn’t care for being part of the upper clsss social circle in Paris or following what his family expects him to do. I don’t think this makes him unreliable or totally aloof (and Leonardo certainly isn’t either) it’s just more so that the thought of being in a formal position like that doesn’t appeal to him, and he’s more likely to be helpful and wise in a more casual sense.

Chevalier- Chevalier reminds me of a mix of Lancelot, Kenshin, and Nobunaga. He’s got the ambition and insistance that he’ll prevail in his goal (to be king) similar to how Nobunaga is in his quest for unification. He’s also cold and harsh like Nobunaga and the others, but maybe as time goes on he’ll be a bit softer around Mc when they’re alone similar to the other guys. The two of them also view people based on their utility; Whether thats a form of showing affection or simply stating how they judge people for worth, the two of them certainly talk about who is good for what purposes and keeping them around because of it. Now for his similarities to Lancelot- Like Lance, Chevalier openly calls himself a monster/beast and believes it, and continues to keep people at a distance to where thats how they see him. Also like Lancelot, he tells everybody that he needs/ will be the king in the end; and I’m curious of what his reasoning and ambition for wanting to o badly will be? Maybe like Lancelot he also wants to do it because he’s secretly trying to protect everybody and use himself as the bad guy to keep the others safe from some enemy. And finally, much like Kenshin, Chevalier is a STABBY boy- he’s quick to draw his sword on people and is infamous for being on the battlefield and cutting down his enemies. Not to mention, he’s also a bit of a grump when it comes to people. I hope he also shares some of Kenshin’s oblivious innocence to certain social trends too, because it’s always funny to see some big scary domineering guy adorably clueless when it comes to little things. Like all of these three, Chevalier is definitely domineering and intimidating, but I do also think he’ll be more sadistic than them- since the others don’t usually go too far in that direction with Mc other than being possessive, and Kenshin definitely doesn’t since he hates the thought of hurting Mc. To be honest, I’m most of all excited to just see Cheva’s soft moments and figure out what his surprising secret is 👀

Clavis-hohohoho THE problem child of the court, of course! I’m sure it’s very easy to imagine that the first person that Clavis is similar to is Mitsuhide. Both are sneaky and like doing things to get a rise out of people, especially the ones who are prone to mothering or managing the others- for Mitsuhide, he’ll do anything to piss off Hideyoshi and Clavis is much the same when it comes to Sariel. Neither of them ever seem to be very fourth coming and always seem to say something vague, misleading, or to stir up trouble and watch it unfold. Also like Mitsuhide, Clavis seems to be working beside somebody else and willing to often cause trouble on their behalf and serve as a left hand. What’s more fitting is that the person they’re working beside or for also happen to have some similarities as well, since Chevalier has a little bit in common with Nobunaga personality-wise. Even though they’re working beside another character, it’s not really evident that either are doing it out of loyalty, so it’s plausible to say (especially in Mitsuhide’s case since we know it’s true) that they may not be doing it strictly out of loyalty; but maybe out of a different reason such as their own personal motives/goals, obligation, or convenience. Clavis’s encyclopedia addresses the fact that it’s like he’s being “hunted” by Chevalier and brings up that maybe his beliefs or will to do Chevalier’s bidding is changing, so it could very well have been out of intimidation from or belief in Chevalier that got him in that position in the first place. Like Mitsuhide, it’s safe to say Clavis has a complicated and unique relationship with who he’s working with and neither have trouble being openly tricky and confusing towards them. I also see a tiny bit of Arthur in Clavis because of how they like to tease people (also like Mitsu). Honestly they’re both resident shithead of the house and that’s where my comparison of them stems from and I have no doubt there’s going to be a lot of inapropriate 👀 teasing to be seen in the future

Leon- Ngl at first I was going to glance past Leon because I figured he’s just another cybird poster boy oresama that they’re going to push to the top any chance they get, and I figured he’d be just like the other Oresama’s, but so far I’ve been pleasantly surprised in him!! Even though he definitely is still the oresama; which I’m not against, he’s a bit different than the others. Out of the ones we know already, he’s definitely the most like Napoleon in the sense that he’s down to earth and likes to engage with people without regard to title or past, he talks with people on equal stance, including the Mc. Ray is also like this and very like able and cool, but overall I think Leon is a lot friendlier from the get go; he doesn’t have the same brisk or elusive personality the other oresama boys have at first, he’s more of a friendly face from the first time you meet him and I do like that about him. Because of that, he also reminds me in a few ways of Kyle. Kyle tends to see people and situations as it is and is making sure everybody is alright regardless of who they are. He comes off as pretty passive and relatively easy going and is an solid candidate to the Mc to befriend because he’s usually not overly harsh or hard to approach. Leon has a good amount of this in him as well and even though he is of course much more imposing and intimidating energy-wise, (and isn’t an infamous drunk) he still has that “normal guy” charm that’s agreeable and level headed like Kyle does. Leon is a mix of everything you want to see in a solid guy, but also something exciting as well and I do think he fits his role pretty well.

Yves- If I had to sum up Yves with other cybird characters he reminds me of so far, I’d probably have to say Jonah and Louie. From the get go it’s obvious Yves has a side of him that’s drawn to aesthetic; he’s very posh and fashionable like Jonah in that regard, and like Jonah he’s initially shocked and irritated that somebody could ever not know who he is. At first, both also uphold a standard of formality and expecting the Mc to do the same, taking their positions seriously. Now whether or not Yves will follow one Jonah’s stead and learn as time goes on how to accept and address his faults I can’t say, but they are both very tsun and a little bit snooty upon introduction. Yves also reminds me of Louie since Louie is also very insistent on keeping up an aristocratic air and remaining cold towards the Mc when they first come to the castle. They both looked down on the Mc for being a commoner in such a position, and have a fair amount of doubt in her capability to perform it. I also see Louie in Yves because it seems like both of them, after you make it past the cold and snobby exterior, are really sweet but have to upkeep that personality because of the position they’re in, which they most likely both (cant say for Yves quite yet but it seems that way) have some amount of resentment for. Since they’re both considered royalty and held up to high standard, it makes sense that the amount of pressure and expectations people have for them would lead to adopting such a icy outwards appearance~

Licht- Tbh for being such an “I don’t like people” person, Licht has the most people I draw similarities from. I see a Licht as a mashup of Luka, Isaac, Yoshitsune, and Ieyasu tbh, and it all comes together to make him a pretty unique character. Like Luka and Isaac, Licht doesn’t really socialize well with others, and isn’t really willing to do so often. I think Licht’s reluctance to socialize is more like Isaac in the sense that he doesn’t trust people and less like Luka’s reluctance due to being shy, but it’s still there regardless. Licht’s encyclopedia also talks about him being an innocent and sensitive boy before something happened and changed him; and I think that also makes him like Isaac and Luka who are both pretty wholesome and innocent and definitely very sensitive and soft. They both also have parts where, what people did to them or how they treated them, played a big role in making them the awkward socializers that they are. Since something happened to Licht in the past that changed him, I feel like this also falls along those lines. Next, I see a bit of Yoshitsune in Licht’s personality as well as they both have a strange vibe about them that the Mc comments on. They’re both lone wolves regardless of having allies and people that care for them whether they realize it or not , and the unique energy that seems to captivate people is certainly noteworthy :D. Finally, there are a few things about Ieyasu that I see in Licht as well, starting off with something silly and amusing between the two of them is that both have somebody who just absolutely adores them that they could not be bothered with whatsoever haha. As much as I feel for Yves and Mitsunari and their adorable admiration of them, Licht and Yasu can’t stand the attention. In a similar light, both are pretty brisk and avoidant of getting attention from people in general; though Yasu tends to be a bit grouchier about it than Licht, who really just wants to get away from people. All in all, Licht seems to have a little bit of a lot of things in him and it’ll certainly be interesting to watch him progress in the story

Nokto- I feel like this one has a very very obvious comparison and we all know it. Of course Nokto is a lot like Arthur, and they’re both THORSTY boys through and through. Nokto isn’t the Shingen type flirt at all, he’s definitely the type to take it much further and be much more suggestive and dirty when it comes to flirting and teasing what he does with girls. Aside from the very obvious comparison between him and Arthur because of this, Nokto also reminds me of Leo. Not only are they both flirts and twins, but Nokto is also like Leo since he seems to be more willing and aware to play the political game at court and be involved, especially compared to his brother, who doesn’t really want to socialize or be involved in the social circle of the castle. That makes Nokto’s relationship to Licht a bit like Leo’s relationship to Alyn, but I don’t really know so far if their relationship is much similar beyond that. There might be some exasperation between the two since one twin is social and likes to tease and the other does not, but I’ll have to see more of the two interacting to see if it’s also like the Crawford twins in that way. Regardless, I expect in the future to see a lot more teasing and flirting from Nokto, which he’ll probably use to his advantage to find out something interesting.

Luke- An absolute UNIT through and through, this dude is a giant and carries a little teddy bear keychain and if that isn’t the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen idk what is. AHEM, ANYWAYS, Luke is a little bit different in my eyes so far since he’s not too much like any one person from what I’ve gotten from him, but still does have some traits that I see are like other characters we’ve seen. The first small bit of information we’ve received about Luke is that he treats Mc like a little sister, which uhhh TRIGGERS a few flashbacks in my brain from getting the sister treatment from Hideyoshi. While I don’t think Luke is the mothering type at all, I do get the vibe that he’ll treat the Mc like this and dote on her to cover up his own feelings for a while similar to Hideyoshi. Hideyoshi also comes from a humble background and not one of power or prestige, and since Luke is known to be very friendly and in touch with the life of the towns people, I can tell that both of them are good at understanding and sticking up for the common folk, probably more so than the other princes since he shows a disinterest in court life. While I don’t see Luke too similar to Hideyoshi, I do think share those few traits that don’t make them totally different. Since Luke is very commoner-oriented(?) idk it that’s the right word for it but you get the point, I also see some Shingen in him as well. Shingen is very caring towards his people and sees standing up for them and doing things for them as the main driving factor of his goals. While Luke’s situation is less precarious then Shingen’s in that regard, he still in a way goes for protecting the little guys- also they both have the big burly bear thing going for them so there’s that.

Sariel- This man is a god tier shit stirrer and it’s absolutely chaotic since he’s supposed to be the guy in charge while the new king is picked. Sariel is a mix of Mitsuhide, Giles, and Sebastian in my eyes and I already know he’s going to cause a lot of drama. Aside from the evident scheme-y vagueness that he has in common with Mitsuhide, Sariel seems to be very intimidating and willing to go to scary levels to achieve his means, similar to how a Mitsu gets information out of people. Since he’s the court official in charge for now and is responsible for deciding that the Mc is the right candidate for the job, he’s a lot like Giles when he subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) intimidates the Mc into accepting the role. While Giles is a lot more genuinely friendly and willing to listen to the Mc and let her decide, both of them have the same I’m-smiling-but-actually-I’ll-kill-you-if-you-mess-this-up-for-the-castle vibe. Despite being LOWKEY scary sometimes, both had the same intuition and insight to see the Mc as the right person to make the decision and become the belle/princess elect (let’s ignore the fact that Sariel thought kidnapping her was the right way to do it tho lol). As for Sebastian, well these two love to instigate when it comes to petty little things and watch how it unfolds, and no doubt as court official and the only person left to really uphold the former kings position until the new one is picked, Sariel has all the tea on the princes and pulls some strings behind the scenes. Lowkey this dude is a lil scary but it’s okay I guess, it’s not like the mc’s life is in his hands or anything... Oh f*ck

Rio- ayeee we got a Yandere here folks, calling it now!!! Our newly lamented butler is a mash up of Loki and Nico in my eyes and I’m curious to see if he ever gets his memories back to see how it might change how he acts. As far as comparisons go I really see a lot of Loki in him when it comes to enthusiasm and being very attached to the Mc, as well as the whole pet vibe he’s got going. While Loki acts and refers to himself a lot in a cat like manner, Rio does the same but as a dog, going as far to try calling the Mc master (( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) and pledging very strong loyalty towards her for saving him when he lost his memory. When it comes to Nico, I also see the same enthusiasm and friendliness yet again, as well as mischievous possessiveness over Mc. Both have their loyalties more closely aligned to the Mc herself and not the court/side she’s on, and both are her new butlers. Since Rio lost his memories I can imagine there will be some angst or confusion from him the future as he either regains his memories and probably remembers something significant; or him struggling to come to terms with himself due to that loss of memory. That might also be another comparison to Nico, since it’s a personal conflict with who they are and trying to navigate that confusing road. If that’s the case, his cheery sweetness makes him a bit more like Ranmaru as well, who also has moments where he struggled with who he is despite remaining caring and loyal/allies with the Mc. Either way, Rio definitely keeps his playful and intense loyalty towards Mc through and through which isn’t too unlike any of these boys.

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allet-space · 4 years

Text

I try to contextualize the weird flashback scenes in the promo: The Novel

Let’s asses the ending and potential continuation in the finale logically to calm the impeding sense of doom that I feel we all feel:

-The promo indicates that Steven will be heading to Homeworld

-Steven’s behavior after being pressured into speeding up time was to run away from the CGs. He doesn’t have his powers much under control, rather he likely feels he’s lost even more control. He only came back to heal Jasper. It is likely he will be wasting next to no time at home and instead try to immedietly leave. He doesn’t want to endanger anyone.

-The pink White Diamond indicates Homeworld won’t be what he hoped. The promo shows him in the house while looking all innocent but powered up. If this is before leaving for Homeworld, it might be the last push, having everyone see that less than optimal side of him. If it’s after, then he heads to Homeworld and comes back as someone else.

-Likely the diamonds show him how to deal with his powers how they always did: which is, uhh, badly. Spinel is there, but her history with Steven isn’t all that great and with Steven’s fragile state, he can’t guide them. He needs guidance himself. I doubt Spinel will be on board with the diamond’s bullshit, but that’s a 50/50. Either way I find it unlikely that she will be able to sway things for the better. We can safely assume Homeworld teaches Steven the wrong things and the diamonds only manage to twist him further, with an intense event such as pink White Diamond proving to him and really hammering home that they’re no help.

-I’ve seen people theorize WD tries to take back the pink powers and fails to control them, which would be a good example for such an event. Perhaps she is just reminded of that feeling and goes into pink mode herself, and that makes Steven realize not even the diamonds can help him without him hurting them. Both are plausible, and end with Steven leaving in despair, his last option exhausted.

-Steven returns, most likely in his, and I hate to call it that, chad state. In the promo we hear him say “I help people, I don’t hurt them.” Which is very, very ironic considering HE LITERALLY SHTTERED JASPER. I’m still not 100% convinced that it wasn’t just all a collective feverdream that we all had because that can’t be real.

-Anyway so he returns looking not like our son, and talking down what happened and what he can do in that state. This indicates to me that White Diamond got to him, badly. Messing with Steven’s head isn’t easy: Usually it’s Steven messing with other people (usually with good intentions, but he changes people’s beliefs with ease none the less). The only time we see Steven being messed with is Jasper, and before, White Diamond.

-Out of all gems, she managed to stab him in his weak spot with just a few words in the way we usually see Steven do. So much so that he does actually start questioning himself. He starts questioning everything he ever knew, everything he ever believed. He starts questioning whether he really is Rose, Pink, his reasoning against her comes slow, quiet, and with a weak and unsure voice... until Connie yells at Steven not to listen to her. Out of EVERYONE, if ANYONE can change Steven’s beliefs - and they’re already on the edge after all the stuff Jasper hammered into his poor brain - it’s White Diamond.

-And yeah the diamonds have good intentions, and they follow after Steven and all that. But that��s just it. HE is asking THEM for help. HIS methods, by that logic, or perhaps the diamonds think it’s logical, AREN’T WORKING. So of course they help him their way, because that’s the only way they CAN help him.

-White Diamond is going to talk to him, perhaps in a similar way that Jasper did before they started training. He asks for guidance, he gets guidance. White Diamond is going to fill his confused and guidance-deprived mind with HER philosophy during his weakest moments, and by the looks of it? It’s going to work. It’s very in character for her, and similar to what we’ve already seen. We know she can do this. We know she WILL do this if neccessary. And we know Steven will soak it all up like a sponge no matter WHAT she says.

-This indicates Steven is NOT at his lowest point. His lowest point will be brought fourth by whatever brainwash White Diamond does to him. And I’m afraid. Very, very afraid. Someone said that he might try to justify the Diamond’s actions towards pink, but honestly, it could be anything. He might try to play down what he did to Jasper, or really just show that his beliefs were changed or maybe he’s trying to convince himself that they have. He could justify his powers, or his pink state.

-I predict that while something happens at Homeworld to White Diamond, something to turn her pink, she manages to get to Steven and mess with him and implant some semblence of Homeworld’s old philosophy into him. Perhaps she even uses what happened to her as ANOTHER reason as to why she’s right. I do FULLY believe her capable to twist facts and events like that.

-We have the promo show us that everyone, INCLUDING Jasper, are very shocked to see something. Now the promos have a bad history of overplaying normal moments and not actually showing the ACTUAL intense moments. Last time we saw shock like that it was the famythist which we found out were just looking at holly blue, which makes it hard to believe that we got an actual serious moment.

-However, it would make sense everyone is in Mild Shock when their baby boy son returns looking like... that. Connie is there, so yes, I do think its safe to assume that this is AFTER Steven returns from Homeworld... though it’s also possible that this is right after Fragments, and this is everyone’s face when they find out Steven shattered Jasper. I’m just calling it now while I have the chance... but, moving on.

-He returns, everyone is in shock. He shows clear signs of acting NOT like his normal self at all and probably says a lot of bullshit.

-Now, judging by the promo... we also see him look at his reflection in surprise. I’m not sure if this is after his return, or shortly before. Shortly before it would be him simply seeing his powers are acting up, that he looks different, that he needs to leave, and perhaps that other scene happens before him leaving too. However, I would still place his misguided statements for after Homeworld.

-But then why is he surprised to see himself looking so much like Rose’s old form? Like Pink? My theory is that this may be one of his moments of realization. SOMEONE by dear god I DESPERATELY HOPE someone calls him out on what on earth he’s talking about and maybe even mentions his mother, making him see how much he is becoming like her, maybe making him pull back.

-HOWEVER, considering we are nearing a great climax and that would be nice... that might not actually be the case. Another possibility is that he only THEN notices HOW FAR HE’S GONE. Only THEN does he realize that he looks like a diamond, and maybe he doesn’t realize that White filled him with lies, but that what he is starting to believe in is Homeworld’s old philosophy. Which can go two ways. Either he questions whether White’s ideas really are right or, alternatively... he may even question whether the rebellion’s ideas are right. That would be a ride. Also Jasper would not help on that matter.

-We see flashbacks to the series, which is... concerning? Id rather they assume we know and have flashbacks be short clips like in Growing Pains, and this will likely be similar, but the clips will be a bit longer. And Id rather have new animation rather than flashbacks for the finale, but who knows! Maybe it’ll be a single scene like in Growing Pains.

-I SUSPECT that these clips, considering they have to do with the diamonds and Steven showing the Diamonds who he is, and TELLING them that they’re family, will be the flashbacks we see when White Diamond messes with Steven. This will be the evidence she will be using to sway him, with his own words, his own statements and actions. Which can be very, very effective.

-She may put emphasis on the fact that he has THREE main gems that always stood by his side, his close family, and insist he was missing the other three diamonds in his life. Especially since they’ve realized now, with Spinel, that that is possible at all. Or perhaps they BELIEVE that after spending time with Spinel, they think they know why Steven surrounded himself with those three gems.

-Then we have “Do you remember this place?” which may also be used by White Diamond to mess with him? Maybe show him that his gem family is flawed, or that even THEY think/thought that he was rose. Its intersting that Pearl says this bit. She knew all along, after all.

WOW THIS WAS A LONG POST

TLDR

-Steven comes out of bathroom, powers flourish, he goes to HW

-White Diamond uses the past and flashbacks and his own actions to fill his unsure brain with HW philosophy bullshit, maybe even using her pink mode as a reason, trying to make SURE Steven thinks its the only way if that pink mode is to never happen ever again (if he doesnt follow the philosophy, white would turn pink again and get hurt/hurt other gems)

-Steven comes back acting not like our beloved son but very different. He changes form and shocks everyone with his new appearance. Perhaps he himself only then realizes what he’s become?

-Corruption?? Monster???

-The key scenes are NOT in the promo. The entire promo is specifically from minor buildup scenes so we cant TRULY know what happens

#suf #suf theory #suf spoilers #suf promo 3 #su #steven universe future #bet u thought i was kidding when i said novel in the title huh

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professor-vanad · 4 years

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Well, for specific reasons, a lot of it is that since the sanctuary got upgraded, we just have more resources to do stuff in general.

But it's also since we're in a very rural farming location in jhoto, lot of the pokemon here cant get particularly specialized attention locally, and old dude, welll....

Honestly it doesn't seem fair that a kind of pokemon that are usually supposed to be functionally immortal if cared for properly, is probably going to die of old age by the time they're 30, mid 30s if they're lucky.

So if there's any reasonable fixes to improve that life span, or any quality of life improvements in general that can be done before then, it's best to explore those opportunities now.

Or barring that, it's still worthwhile to make sure some in depth records are made of him for the public to be able to have some added insight on the process and history for how porygon were originally made while the old guy's still fit enough to travel around.

As for food and care I'll make you a more in depth guide soon, but just in case, you should make sure you can get some chansey eggs, since I know they can get pretty pricey in general, and might be especially hard to find in some regions.

And if its the case for you, just make sure to save the receipt. Old dudes chansey eggs are covered under our funding as a unique dietary supplement, and if you send me a receipt I can forward it, and the jhoto government types will refund you the money.

I started him on those things when I saw a theory that unfertilized chansey eggs (once converted to energy similarly to how a pokeball normally works????) were used as one of the primary raw materials for giving porygon physical forms and normal functions like being able to eat or reproduce in the wild.

Which piqued my interest, since it would make sense to have extra steps like that involved, or else every 12 year old and their grandma would be making their own versions of porygon in their computers.

But you can't trust everything you read on the internet, so I asked the employees at the local pokemon center if it was a good idea to feed them that, and they said chansey eggs were an "eggcellent" (yes, they did include the pun) option for elderly pokemon, so I basically shrugged and swapped him from his old food to eggs as his main meal, and he improved a whole bunch with like energy and being able to remember things, so I've kept him with the eggs as his main food source since.

I've seen some say that porygon dont actually need to eat though? But I dont know how much I can trust that, since old guy eats 3 times a day and doesn't go into computers, so I guess can't "eat electricity?" Or however that works? So I'd just stick with his schedule since it seems to work for him.

One egg should be enough for a weekend, but I'd get 2 just in case they need to stay longer.

Just scramble it, cook it, and split it up into 4 peices for one serving in the morning and one in the evening for porygon. Along with any sweet berry, some leafy greens, or regular pokemon kibble to go along with it, or for their lunch when they dont have the eggs.

As for dunsparse, they'll eat literally anything, but they're gonna be "on vacation" so just give them a serving of whatever it is you're eating so they can feel fancy and accomplished. Especially if its something spicy or with noodles or both.

But really they're just going to want some of whatever it is you're having, and I've yet to see them not be able to stomach something, so I'd say just roll with it and let them follow their usual "vacation at the neighbors farm/the school/parents house in alola" protocol and give them a little bowl of whatever you're having.

Old guy's only going to want to eat what your having though if its pink or they can recognize it as candy or ice cream. So you might want to get some small, pink, safe for pokemon candy for treats/bribes just in case.

Keep in mind they're both mini pokemon so they'll probably eat less food than you're expecting. Neither of them overeat though, so you can err on feeding them too much instead of too little since they'll stop when they're done.

Ok that was more than a bit of info on how to look after them, but I'll still give some more info soon.

Main thing is to get the chansey eggs before the visit since neither of them have any particular medications or anything.

Thanks for getting back to me! All that info on diet is very useful, thank you! I have made a note of it so please send on whatever additional info is necessary in your own time.

I’ve been thinking over your Porygon’s condition a lot since we last spoke. I’m curious, have you been in contact with Silph Co. at all? If not, I’m happy to do so on your behalf. At the very least, they are the best place to start looking for some more information on previous iterations of Porygon.

Now, while there’s not many assertions I can make without seeing the Old Man myself, I am... entertaining the possibility that, considering the likelihood that he is a beta version of Porygon rather than simply an older model, fixing the life-span issue may necessitate a ground up re-building of a lot of his core programming. I can’t say for sure what effect that will have on his personality and memory. This is not a guarantee or even a necessity, it’s just think you should be prepared to think about the possibility. He’s an exceptional case.

Regardless of any of that, it is definitely worthwhile to make a record of him. It would undoubtedly aid in our knowledge of how Porygon work. That theory about Chansey eggs is one I’ve hearing in passing too but if there’s evidence that they can improve Porygon quality of life, I would be very interested in knowing more about it.

#mumblingabomination #professor-vanad #porygon

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maggyme13 · 5 years

Text

Releasing Tension

AN: This Oneshot is written with the following Request in mind and I hope it turned out like you hoped to dear Anon :)

A fic where Bucky is rough during sex and thinks the reader likes it, but she doesn´t. Usually she hides it, but one day it is too much... (rough overview of the request)

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Wordcount: around 1900

Warnings: Smut, description of Sex, Pain, crying, angst, feelings,

IF YOU ARE NOT 18+, DO NOT READ!

Masterlist

Two weeks.

That was how long James Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanov had been away on a mission to gather information. But they had found nothing. And that was showing in their moods.

Natasha was silent, even more silent than usual and everybody knew not to disturb her when she was like that. Bucky on the other hand was the complete opposite. He was seething, his muscles tense- Usually he would spar with Steve in such a situation, but that one was away on a mission himself. Without sparring there was no amount of running or beating a punching-bag that would be able to get rid of the tension he felt. Though with the most anger beaten away, there was one way to relieve himself of even more: You.

It was in the middle of the night when you heard the silent click of your closing door. Your boyfriend had finally found his way to you.

He was silent in his movements, like he was stalking through enemy territory and not your room, an so you kept unmoving and faked sleeping. He wouldn’t want to wake you up.

Your bed dipped, when his strong and heavy body crawled towards you. You were barely able to stay still, with how exited and happy you became with every passing second; you loved what was following.

Or so you thought.

James was an incredible lover. He knew what he had to do to make you come- hard. His hands roamed from your lower back over your sides up to your shoulders and back down. All the while massaging your muscles gently.

Back at your hips, you felt a gentle and careful tuck on the panties you were wearing before they were pulled down your legs.

His lips connected with the low of your back and a shiver went up your spine when his hands shoved your loose nightshirt up to your shoulders, freeing your breasts on the way.

“Mhm. So beautiful. And all mine.”, he hummed against your skin, forcing you to suppress a moan; you didn’t want him to know you were awake- yet.

“Let´s see how you are doing Doll.”, he kissed up your spine, while his metal hand moved down between your legs, “Mhm. Already drenching I wonder if you are really asleep.”

Words of protest wanted to leave your throat , when you felt his body distant itself from yours, but that died when your hips were suddenly pulled off the bed and into the air.

“Such a beautiful view. What would I do to steal a taste, but I cant contain myself, Doll. You are just too hot for me to not take your right now.”, he groaned, his voice getting huskier and deeper with every word and you frowned.

You knew this voice of his, he had to let go of some steam, what means he would get rougher with you than usual. It wasn’t your favourite kind of sex, but you always endured it and even faked orgasms.

You didn’t want to lose your boyfriend because of something mundane as sex. If you couldn’t give him what he needed, you feared he would get it from somewhere else.

Without coating his member with your juices, the man plunked into you, sheeting his dick to the brim in your womb. His balls slapping against your thighs. His girth stretched you to a degree it hurt, bad, though usually he would take his time and therefore you would be prepared. But when he was like that, tears sprung to your eyes.

Fuck that hurts!

Giving your body no time to adjust to his size, the soldier slammed in and out of you, his fingers biting into the flesh of your hips, already bruising your skin. Soon his brutal paced caused you to hiss in pain, luckily a pillow turned the hiss into a moan in his ears.

“Oh I knew you were awake.”, he chuckled, his flesh hand moved along your spine and to your neck, “Don´t hide these beautiful sounds you make from me. Let me hear what I make you feel. I want to hear you.”

His fingertips brushed through the hair of the back of your head, when suddenly clutching it in a fist, only to pull you up by your hair.

Ouch!

Tears of pain spring to your eyes and you had to close your eyes so they wouldn’t fall. You fisted the sheets beneath your hands, trying to ease the pain in your head.

It failed.

The soldier´s thrusts became even more stronger and you gasped. It was a different pain.

“More. Oh Doll, give me more!”, he groaned, leaning down to kiss your back.

Drops of sweat falling on your back.

A new pain erupted when his metal hand closed around one of your breasts, your nipple had been caught between two of the metal plates of his prosthetic arm. Out of instinct you jerked away from the pain and into his chest.

“I knew you want more. Who am I to deny that.”, he growled and before you could say (or think) anything, he had pulled you against his chest and sat upright- his metal hand around your throat; already putting pressure against your pulse.

No! Stop!

He had never choked you before.

Panic burned in your veins and your pulse sky-rocketed.

“Oh I know that feeling beneath my fingertips.”, Bucky nipped at your earlobes, “I fear I won´t last linger though, But trusting your heart you don’t need much longer either. Come. (y/n). Come with me.”

His grip around your throat became stronger to a point that you weren’t able to breath anymore. Luckily for you were you able to breath again mere seconds later. He had found his release and now you were laying on your stomach with his body still joined and half covering yours.

“This was- damn doll.”, he kissed breathless, “ I definitely need a shower now. You as well I fear.”

“I- I don’t think I can walk-“, you mumbled more to yourself than anything else, but he still was able to hear it.

“Did I wore you out already? Don´t worry Doll, I can walk good enough for the both of us.”, he chuckled and the very next second you were carried from your bed and into the shower of your joined bathroom.

It hurts!

“Can you stand or was I that good?”, he grinned against your lips.

“I can try.”, you tried to smile back at him, not ready to let him see your pain.

“I will need to hold you up then. I love it when you cant stand anymore because of me. I-“, he declared proudly, though was interrupted by FRIDAY.

“Sergeant Barnes. Mr Rogers just returned from his mission and asked for you to join the debriefing immediately.”

Thank you!

“Thank you FRIDAY. I will be there shortly. Perfect timing as always Punk. Just wait for our next sparring session.”, the male grumbled before kissing you softly on the lips, “ I will be back as soon as possible. I am sorry Doll!”

“it is alright. GO see Steve. I will be somewhere around here when you come back.”, you breathed your answer, kissing him back.

“You are the best Doll.”, he kissed you one last time before leaving you alone in the large bathroom.

You waited another minute or so to be sure that he wouldn’t come back before you sat down under the spray of the warm water and letting the suppressed tears fall freely.

You knew he would never hurt you on purpose, but that didn’t mean that the pain you felt at that moment were less.

___

You didn’t know how long you had been sitting there crying, but you stopped abruptly when you heard your boyfriend speak from the door.

“Doll? (y/n), what´s wrong? Why are you crying Doll?”, he asked with pain and confusion in his voice from finding you crying in the shower.

“Bucky. I thought Steve-“

“That meeting took five minutes. Now tell me what is wrong. Why are you crying?”, he frowned, slowly stepping towards your shaking form, “Doll. Please tell me what is wrong?”

“Bucky it is no-“, you tried to reason but he did not listen.

“Please-“, he pleaded further.

“I-I-“

“You what? Doll- wha. You are hurt.”, he gasp, noticing the way you sat and hold yourself, “Please tell me what is wrong.”

Carefully he reached for you, wanting to spend comfort and pull you into his arms, but body flinched on its own accord. Realization washed over your eyes, his extended hand falling down at his side and shoulders slumped.

“Bucky-“, you flinched not wanting him to feel bad.

“I hurt you, didn´t I?”, he breathed, tears already in his voice.

“Bucky-“

“Please tell me- please- (y/n), did I hurt you?”, he begged again for you to answer and your hear clenched hearing and seeing him so defeated.

“I know you it wasn’t your intention, but-“, you tried to reason.

“-I hurt you-“, he breathed again.

“-you were a bit too rough for me.”, you mumbled looking away.

“The- the other times? When I came back-“, he mumbled, his fear about your answer evident in his voice.

“I am sorry.”, was your only answer and you literally heard his heart break- causing yours to follow suit.

“No. No Doll. You have nothing to be sorry about! I- I-. It was me who caused you pain.”, he sobbed. Out of the corner of your eyes you saw him coming closer, though he did not dare to touch you. Even though it was the only thing he wanted to do at that moment.: Pulling you into his arms and spending comfort. But with him being the one who caused the pain, he wasn’t sure if you allowed it. The question on why you hadn’t told him haunted his mind at that moment.

“I couldn’t tell you- you didn’t know-“, you tried to reason for his sake.

“But why?”, he wanted to know.

“I- I thought. I. If – you-“, you stumbled over your own words and fear.

“You thought I would leave you?”, he frowned in confusion and disbelieve.

“I don’t know. I thought if I couldn’t give you what you need- what you want… I know it is stupid, but-“, you cried, tears streaming down your face.

“NO!. I could never- not because of that. I love you (y/n). I thought you liked it as well. I would have never. If , I had known-“, he stumbled, staring onto the wet floor and at the hands that had bruised your skin mere minutes earlier.

“I know Bucky. Trust me I know. That why I went with it- I… What are you doing?”, you asked him confused when he suddenly stood up and walked to the big tube Stark had built into every personal bathroom.

“ I am drawing you a bath.”, he answered determined to do everything to make your pain to go away and show you how much you meant to him.

Within a minute the tube was filled and Bucky stepped back towards you.

“Will you join me?”, you asked, really hoping he would say yes. You loved to bath with him. Bucky could be a huge cuddle-monkey if he wanted to.

“If that is what you want. I could never deny you anything.”, Bucky smiled, happy that you did not hate him and still seek his comfort.

“Of course. I love you Bucky.”

AN 2.0: So what do you guys think ?!

PLEASE tell me what you think and what you might want to read in this story :)

Until next time and thank you for reading :)

Requests are always open, though no promises about how long it might take;)

~MaggY :)

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