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koolkat9 · 3 months

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Royal Red Bros Week - Day 5

@royalredbrosweek

Prompt: Badly Injured/Verge of Death || Bonding

Rating: T

Relationship: England + Canada

Word Count: 1015

Read on AO3

Author's Note: So while working on this fic I was reading All Quiet on the Western Front for school so a lot of this fic was inspired by scenes in chapter 4 with some of the descriptions in this fic being descriptions in the novel.

Your Sword and Shield

Arthur hadn’t heard the first ‘take cover.' Instead, it was Matthew hurtling towards him and knocking him into the mud, followed by the first whistling then an explosion erupting that gave it away. Clumps of dirt rained down on them, though with Matthew practically on top of him, they never hit him.

The darkened sky popped with white, red, green. Like fireworks, but far more deadly. For a moment, he wondered if Alfred managed to get to safety or at least shield himself with something.

Before him, Arthur spotted a sinkhole made by a recent explosion.

“Matthew?”

There was no reply.

“Come on lad,” Arthur shouted, figuring Matthew couldn’t hear him above the heavy fire. “We need to get into the hole. We’re going to die out here if we…”

When Arthur managed to turn around he found his son limp on top of him, crimson trickling out of his mouth.

“Matthew…MATTHEW!” Arthur shouted again, shaking Matthew’s arm. “You need to open your eyes lad before–”

He was cut off by a shell exploding right next to them, tossing the both of them across the field. At least Arthur was finally free, but now he had to get himself and his giant of a son somewhere safe. Luckily they were tossed near a hole. Dragging Matthew with him, he jumped in.

As safe as they could possibly be, Arthur began to inspect the damage to Matthew’s body. The boy had already grown pale, his breath shallow, skin growing colder. His back was bloody from the barrage of fire, his side had a nasty gash from getting too close to an explosion. Grabbing his and Matthew’s field dressings, he attempted to wrap up the wounds.

Minutes later, when the gunfire and explosions finally died away, Alfred came to find them.

“Take your brother,” Arthur commanded, trying his best to carefully lift Matthew for Alfred to reach.

“What hap–”

“You know him. My sword and now my shield.”

Alfred went to say something else but pressed his lips together again. With Matthew out, Alfred reached for Arthur. Arthur batted his hand away and climbed out himself.

“God, what did you do this time Matt?” Alfred reprimanded, picking his brother up.

Arthur was already heading back towards the truck.

“Hey slow down,” Alfred barked.

“We need to get him medical attention if he’s going to survive.”

“Arthur.”

“We need to go.”

“You’re going to get him killed,” Alfred barked. “He thinks about you before himself every time.”

“He’s an adult,” Arthur snapped back, whirling around to face his other son. “He makes his choices. And he does the same for you. For Alastair. Even for Francis, though he won’t admit it.”

“Well…You–”

“We need to move. Or else he really will die. And you and I both know the pain of regeneration.”

— — —

When Matthew began to stir, he could tell he was in the hospital before he even managed to open his eyes. The stench of death and sick mixed with that distinct hospital smell. He let out a slight groan, the pain of his back and side catching up to him.

Instinctively, he went to push himself up having been laid on his stomach only for someone to gently hold him down.

“Relax love,” A gentle voice whispered. A voice he hadn’t heard since he was a little boy.

“Dad?”

“Shhh. Just lay down. Are you in pain?”

“Mhm…”

“Okay. I’ll see if the orderly can get you anything for it.”

Matthew heard shuffling, footsteps. A pained ‘no’ ripped from his throat.

“It will only be a moment,” Arthur murmured.

“Please…stay…”

For a moment, Matthew could picture himself, no more than six standing in the hallway as Arthur was about to set off for England. So many moments like that throughout his childhood. And as much as he wanted to cry out ‘stay,’ he never did. Not that it would have probably made a difference. But now…

“I…I don’t want…” Matthew trailed off.

“Okay…Okay, I’ll stay.”

Arthur took a seat beside him once more.

They were quiet for a moment, only the hurried steps of medical staff and the occasional screaming of a patient filling the room.

“You’re okay right?” Matthew finally asked.

Arthur’s face looked unfazed, but his eyes sparked with something Matthew couldn’t quite place. It made him shutter.

“I’m not the one in the hospital bed,” Arthur answered shortly.

“True…”

Silence again. Or as silent as you could get in a field hospital.

“Am I going to make it?’ Matthew asked.

Arthur was quiet for a moment. Closed his eyes and took a breath. “I don’t know. The orderlies don’t seem to think so, but they don’t quite get how our bodies work. But either way, I’m going to get you out of here and back home as soon as possible.”

“No. No. I’ll heal. It doesn’t take too long, so I’ll be back out there–”

“You’re going home to recover. Especially if you really are going to die. I don’t want you to have to go through the reset in this place.”

“But I have to–”

“You don’t have to do anything. You’ve done more than enough. I’m standing here because of you. But I can’t have you out there in a weak state.”

“Dad I–”

“That is an order. You will be going home in a week if I can help it.”

Matthew paused for a moment, simmering in the command he was given. “Can I at least go stay with Auntie Niamh? That way I’m not making a long trek across the ocean like this.”

“I suppose… that would be best,” Arthur said slowly. He coughed awkwardly. “I’ll figure out the details. Just…rest for now.”

“Okay…B-But you’ll stay right?”

Arthur’s unreadable eyes finally softened ever so slightly. “Of course.”

As sleep crept in, Matthew felt Arthur brush his bangs out of his face. Just before he nodded off again, Arthur pressed a kiss to his forehead. And for a moment, Matthew felt no different than that six-year-old boy, but now his father would stay.

#hetalia #hws #royal red bros #royalredbrosweek #royalredbrosweek2024 #hws england #hws canada #hws america #fanfiction #hetalia fanfiction #my writing

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eternal-star-rogue · 16 days

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Prev Post<== @comms-exe

“Wait wha-“ Zipper didn’t even get to finish that thought as Comms seemingly turned himself off and Zim’s body slumped over. Zipper and Ellie stared at him for a moment and then shared a look.

“Is he like… okayyyy??? He’s not dead right?” Ellie asked, nervously scratching the back of her neck in confusion.

“I don’t think he ever was ok to begin with, ah but no. He’s not dead. I’m not sure if he’s conscious or not though. One things for sure, he’s technically not a person. Zim probably didn’t have the time to make him into one, but I’m gonna change that reeeaaal quick.” Zipper said as she rolled the sleeves of her hoodie up.

“Riiiight.” Ellie said, somewhat lost on what Zipper meant entirely. She started rifling through the case of medical supplies and pulled out a wound-disinfectant and some cotton balls and began cleaning Comms/Zim’s wounds.

Zipper set herself to work, unbuckling Comms and laying Zim’s body gingerly down on the floor on his stomach. It was then she realized how much she’d grown in comparison to Zim. She was taller than him now, by at least a half foot or so. He wouldn’t like that very much….

Zipper shook her head and got out her tools and began carefully taking what was technically Comms themself apart piece by piece. Processors and cables and computer chips and wires and plugs and all sorts of little data crystals and usbs all strung together and held in place by a couple shabby outer-shell pieces of scrap metal, with… wait what the-

“Ellie holy fuck there’s a load bearing juice box in the middle of all this mess. If I pull it out he’s all just gonna fall to pieces.” Zipper said, pointing at the box with a mini extendable flashlight.

Ellie stopped stitching together the gash on the back of Comms/Zim’s head and glanced over. “Is it… is it even like doing anything other than holding stuff together?”

“No it’s not it’s- wait oh my god look. There’s a message written on it. It’s in Morse code.” Zipper exclaimed.

“Oh shit what’s it say?” Ellie said, going back to stitching Comms up, not taking her eye off her work for a second.

Zipper squinted as she tried to read the juice box through the tangled mess and was silent for a few moments until she burst out laughing and cackling, almost scaring Ellie into messing up her stitches.

“BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHH, It says, ahahah, it say “pieces of shit all they’ve given me is expired prune juice, fuck them and fuck their juice.” Zipper had to put her tools down for a minute as she laughed. “Oh man, yup. Yeah that’s Zim alright.”

Ellie rolled her eyes and shook her head, but she was smiling ever so slightly. It was good to hear Zipper laugh at least.

“Alright, let’s get you fixed up Comms.” Zipper said, carefully removing the juice box and beginning to piece together a more solidly built “pak” for him. She worked tirelessly for hours, even pulling out a few components of her own pak that she didn’t desperately need just to help Comms be more efficient. She felt bad for the circumstances of his “birth” and the lack of personhood he had. Perhaps when this was all over, she could make a robotic body for him to inhabit, or perhaps Zim would clone an Irken body for him. Anything that is given even the resemblance of life, deserves to live it in full. That’s what Zipper believed anyways.

Zipper sighed, wiping the sweat off her forehead and wiping her oily scuffed up hands on her hoodie. She turned the pain sensing inhibitor all the way down to 2%. Any higher and Comms would wake up screaming in agony from the amount of pain he’d be in. Especially with those wounds that were now very VERY slowly healing and regenerating. Thank goodness Ellie had used the dissolvable stitching wire, otherwise those sutures would fuse into Zim’s skin and he’d have to rip them out.

“Ok now how do we uh… turn you back on… I actually didn’t see a button of any kind so I’m really hoping you have an automatic startup system.” Zipper said more to herself than anyone.

#Putting it under a read more cause this one is long af #[rescue arc]#[comms]

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myfandomrambles · 15 days

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C-PTSD & BPD Doctor

(Doctor Character Study part 3D.1)

An analysis of The Doctor as having Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) along with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). If you read my ADHD & Autistic doctor posts you will notice some symptoms overlap mostly with impulsivity. I chose to put C-PTSD and BPD as one post because symptom overlap is strong, and the disorders are highly comorbid

[Thirteenth Doctor will be in 3 parts due to length. Find the whole thing on AO3]

13th Doctor 1.

The Thirteenth Doctor is an interesting presentation of the C-BPD The Doctor has as she is both written and viewed to be very disconnected from the previous Doctor’s traumas, leading people to only see her dealing with trauma after she lost Gallifrey again and that the only trauma affecting her is The Timeless Child realisation. I posit that she always had trauma responses before TV: Spyfall pt 2. Her traumatic content in her body is held in the line of anxiety, hypervigilance, difficulty regulating emotions and being fully closed off about her history and emotions during her early stories. Trauma also comes out increasingly as a fight response later in her run, there are threads throughout her whole time making her very fascinating and complex.

Her agitation, agitation anger, hypervigilance, uncovering of past trauma and social difficulties and more are worth going through and analysing.

A place to start with some of the basic triggers The Doctor experiences and trauma responses. Commonly a fight response. These incidents do not only happen in ways that are not as extreme or disconnected from the situation she is in. (TV: The Tsuranga Conundrum, TV: It Takes You Away, TV: Resolution, TV: Orphan 55, TV: Fugitive of The Judoon, TV: Revolution of The Daleks, TV: Eve of The Daleks, Prose: The Good Doctor, Comic: New Beginning, & Comic: Old friends )

An interesting early reaction of agitation we see her venting her frustration of being “too nice”, a response that screams strongly of a trauma response due to the struggle of being stuck in a situation that she had specifically warned Yaz against. This petulant comment highly references a fight response. (TV: Demons of The Punjab)

Of course, some of her strongest triggers have to do with facing her old enemies who have caused her a lot of pain. In TV: Resolution we see how she deals with her first Dalek in this regeneration. Starting when she first identifies the Dalek and going forward she is in a state of hypervigilance and a very strong fight response.

“Doctor:...Let's see what we've got. No. It can't be.

Yasmin: Doctor? I don't like it when you go quiet.

Doctor: This is the DNA of the most dangerous creature in the universe.

Graham: Does it have a name?

Doctor: A Dalek.”

“Doctor: I'm going to find that creature.

Yasmin: You can't do that on your own.

Doctor: Always have done. Me and a Dalek, it's personal. Go on, get her safe.”

When faced with Cybermen she has a strong fear response that comes out in both fight and flight response and the need to protect her friends. The fresh loss of Bill to the cybermen along with other past people he’s seen become Cybermen, like Danny [this is an example even if he was dead to start with, the indignity in death still strains The Doctor’s emotions.]

We can see this in TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati:

“Doctor: One Cyberman, but then thousands. Humans like all of you changed into empty, soulless shells. No feeling, no control, no way back. I will not lose anyone else to that. Do not follow me.”

And continued into TV: Ascension of The Cybermen

"Doctor: I know.

Yasmin: They destroyed everything we brought with us.

Doctor: I know.

Ryan: We haven't got anything else to defend ourselves or them.

Doctor: I know! Listen to me. Do not argue. Go with the humans. Help them. Get them out of here. You won't make it back to the Tardis alive. Make sure you're with them.

Ryan: What about you?

Doctor: I'll hold them off.

Graham: How are you going to do that?

Doctor: This isn't a discussion.

Yasmin: We're not just gonna leave you.

Doctor: Yes, you are. You have to, all of you. No questions. Get out. I've been so reckless with you.

Yasmin: What are you talking about?

Doctor: You're human. If they capture you, they'll convert you. I'll find you. Get safe now!"

This interaction showcases a lot of the exhaustion and anger being triggered into remembering her worst memories, along with the reasonable fear of the situation and responsibility for her friends.

Emotional lability presents with The Doctor; depressive, hyper, excitment anxious, frustration, and hostility. (TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth, TV: The Ghost Monument, TV: The Tsuranga Conundrum, TV: Kerblam!, TV: It Takes You Away, TV: Resolution, TV: Revolution of The Daleks, TV: The Halloween Apocalypse, & Comic: New Beginning) A reference to this is mood issues is in TV: Orphan 55

“Ryan: I'm up for a free holiday. Where is it?

Graham: A place called Tranquillity.

Yasmin: Me too. So long as there's plenty of sun and absolutely no deep-space squid. Might get you out of your mardy mood.

Doctor: My mood's fine.

Ryan: That's you told.”

I will break down these emotions throughout the rest of this analysis.

She deals with a lot of anxiety (TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth, TV: The Ghost Monument, TV: Rosa, TV: Arachnids in The UK, TV: The Tsuranga Conundrum, TV: Demons of The Punjab, TV: Resolution, TV: Spyfall pt1/pt2, TV: Orphan 55, TV: Nikola Tesla's night of terror, TV: Praxeus, TV: Eve of The Daleks, TV: Power of The Doctor, Prose: Combat Magicks, Comic: Hidden Human History & Comic: Alternating Current).

The Doctor tends to show her stress in a way that looks like what we view as anxiety. She’s not afraid of being viewed as anxious by her companions. It makes perfect sense she would be anxious due to her current past situations. Her specific expressions come through clearly and I think this is to some extent something that she views as acceptable to experience possibly because it doesn’t give much away. The Doctor is also relatively aware of her anxiety an example can be seen in TV: It Takes You Away:

“The Doctor: All right, no need to panic.

Yasmin: I wasn't panicking.

The Doctor: I know, I was talking to myself. Cos all this is very wrong.”

A way we can see the anxiety come through is that she talks a lot when under stress, both in the way The Doctor does to stall for time when thinking of a plan but also when there is no automatically viewable stressor. (TV: Ghost Monument, TV: Rosa, TV: Kerblam!, TV: Demons of the Punjab, TV: The Witchfinders, TV: It Takes You Away, TV: Spyfall pt2, TV: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror, TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati, TV: Ascension of The Cybermen, TV: Village of The Angels, TV: The Vanquishers, TV: Eve of The Daleks, TV: Legend of The Sea Devils, Prose: Molten Heart, Prose: Combat Magicks, & Prose: The Secret in Vault 13)

An example is in TV: Arachnids In The UK we see the habit coming up during social interactions separate from fighting or other dangerous situations:

“Doctor: Look at your views. Never had a flat. I should get one, I'd be good in a flat. I could get a sofa. Imagine me with a sofa, like my own sofa, I could get a purple one and sit on it. Am I being weird?

Ryan: A little bit, yeah.

Doctor: I'm trying to do small talk. I thought I was doing quite well.

Yasmin: Needs work.

Doctor: Maybe I'm nervous. Or just socially awkward. I'm still figuring myself out. You really like junk. Are you collecting it, like stamps?”

Hypervigilance related to anxiety is something Thirteen experiences. Here hypervigilance is related to more paranoid thinking, seeing a threat coming up and carrying stress and alertness in the body. This concept can explain some of where her stress symptoms are rooted in. Her life experiences keep her head on a swivel so to speak. It’s useful for her life and it only worsens as time in her regeneration passes. (TV: The Ghost Monument, TV: The Tsuranga Conundrum, TV: The Witchfinders, TV: Resolution, TV: Spy Fall pt2, TV: Orphan 55, TV: Fugitive of The Judoon, TV: Can You Hear Me, TV: Ascension of The Cybermen, TV: The Halloween Apocalypse, TV: Once, Upon Time, Prose: The Good Doctor, Prose: The Good Doctor, Prose: Molten Heart & Comic: Alternating Currents)

We can see her reference the way she views safety in Comic: New Beginnings, linked to how her hypervigilance functions in her life.

“Doctor: It's very rare to find true safety and certainty in the universe...”

Another moment we see The Doctor discuss her view on how they interact with safety can be seen in TV: Once, Upon Time:

“Doctor: I spend my life walking into new places and weighing things up fast. Who's who? Who has the power? Who's in danger? How fast danger is coming. Also, how likely my friends are to die. I've got good at figuring all of that out at speed.”

The Doctor even voices how she experiences hypervigilance in TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati:

“Lone Cyberman: You appear courageous, but your vital signs betray a heightened state of anxiety.

Doctor: Or as I like to call it, Tuesday.”

A related symptom of hypervigilance and anxiety is agitation. She shows that she is on edge and sitting at a proverbial level eight in stress. This expression of stress becomes stronger as time passes and with the experiences with the destruction of Gallifrey, The Timeless Child & Flux. ( TV: The Ghost Monument, TV: Resolution, TV: Spyfall pt2, TV: Fugitive of The Judon, TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati, TV: Ascension of The Cybermen, TV: Revolution of The Daleks, TV: The Halloween Apocalypse, V: Once, Upon Time, & Prose: The Secret in Vault 13)

In Prose: Combat Magics we see this reference when it describes that The Doctor is “prowling like a caged cat”.

Not having access to a full range of internal regulations can create conflict with other people.

We see when her anxiety is raised due to being separated from her TARDIS and being injured she becomes agitated and acts abrasive towards people trying to be helpful. She keeps talking and disrupting the ship in a conversation with the medical Doctor which could damage other people in TV: The Tsuranga Conundrum:

“Doctor: What were you worried about? Just as I was waking up, you... you saw something and you were worried.

Astos: No.

Doctor: Ooo, bad liar. Must be difficult in your job.

Astos: Hey, I'm an excellent liar.

Doctor: So you were lying, then.

Astos: I didn't say that.

Doctor: See? Bad liar.

....

Astos: Enough, now. You can't be in here. I don't know what that device is, but if you don't leave, I have to restrain you

...

Astos: Don't! If you interfere with the navi-systems, they'll take it as an act of hostility or hijack. They can detonate the craft.

Doctor: I'm not being hostile!

ASstos: Yes, you are. You're being hostile and selfish. There are patients on board who need to get to Resus One as a matter of urgency. My job is to keep all of you safe. You're stopping me from doing that.

Doctor: You're right. Of course, you're right.”

Another example of this can be seen in TV: Orphan 55 in her conversation after she has had to deal with a threat to her friend.

“Hyph3n: Guests aren't permitted in the... linen cupboard.

Doctor: How about Pan-galactic Standards and Practices Officer? Health and Safety? Security and Hygiene? Resort Inspector. Now, are you and your excellent tail going to let me have a look, or am I going to have to bark at you? Cos I will.

...

Doctor: Oh, yeah. Of course. Deadlocked room with its own armoury. Don't tell me. Honeymoon suite.

Kane: Hyph3n, what the hell are you doing? Who's this?

(She turns The Doctor around.)

Doctor: I'm The Doctor, and you, madam, are far too handsy.”

As we can see in these examples her agitation can come out as being abrasive with other people and it can cause problems when communicating with other people. (TV: The Tsuranga Conundrum, TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati, TV: The Halloween Apocalypse, TV: Once, Upon Time, Prose: Combat Magicks, Prose: The Secret in Vault 13, & Comic: Hidden Human History) We know she wants to communicate to some extent and will take in some of what others say but it’s still clearly a difficulty she has.

In TV: Fugitive of The Judoon we have an example of this.

“Doctor: She said she was my past, but I know my past, and she's never been me.

Graham O’Brien: I'm sure there's a simple explanation.

Doctor: Time is swirling around me. The Master, Captain Jack Harkness, Ruth. Something's coming for me. I can feel it.

Ryan: Let it come. You've got us.

Doctor: Ryan, I've lived for thousands of years. So long I've lost count. I've had so many faces. How long have you been here? You don't know me. Not even a little bit.

Yasmin: Don't talk to him like that.”

They say nice things after this moment, and Thirteen appears to appreciate what they are saying. The TARDIS sides with them as well, and they quickly get into their next adventure and we see it takes a lot of time for them to fully communicate.

Thirteen’s trauma causes her to tend to have a proverbial film between her and her companions, or ‘fam’ as Thirteen refers to them. This version of The Doctor very rarely lets them into her history and her inner world. We see her care about her companions in series Eleven at the same time they know very little about her. She will let them in on her nerves, and she asks for reassurance from them. But they don’t know the why behind any of it, and even the emotions she does share very rarely go deep. She oscillates between wanting them to close because she cares for them, and holding herself behind a wall. ( TV: It Takes You Away, TV: Resolution, TV: Orphan 55, TV: Ascension of The Cybermen, & TV: Revolution of The Daleks)

This is very pronounced in the way it takes till TV: Spyfall Pt. 2 for her to tell them even the basics like her home planet, age or regeneration.

“Graham: They're right. Five planets, you've barely said a word.

Doctor: I'm fine.

Graham: Why don't you ever share anything with us?

Doctor: I share stuff.

Graham: Not about yourself, though.

Ryan: Yeah, you know everything about us.

Yasmin: And we know nothing about you.

Doctor: Fine. What do you want to know?

Graham: Who are you, Doc? I mean, really.

Doctor: I was born on a planet called Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm a Time Lord. I can regenerate my body. I stole this Tardis and I ran away. I've been travelling ever since. The Master was one of my oldest friends. We went very different ways. Questions?”

In TV: Resolution we see another nod towards this wall she keeps with her companions.

“Doctor: Ryan's Dad.

Yasmin: It's complicated.

Doctor: Yeah. Dads are, so I've heard.“

This shows a bit of how the wall works, she is a father in multiple ways over time and has Susan who is her granddaughter. Past Doctors have mentioned they were fathers, even if they tend to never go into much of it. Twelve says “Dad skills”. (TV: Listen) Ten tells Donna about his children whom he lost in TV: The Doctor’s Daughter. Not only does she not tell any of them about having children she explicitly says that she’s only heard about it. While a small moment compared to others it’s still an example of her tendency to isolate her heart from her friends.

This can also be seen as the line of purposeful self-isolation. Just not sharing but pushing other people away. (TV: Orphan 55, TV: Fugitive of The Judon, TV: The Halloween Apocalypse, TV: Village of The Angels, TV: Eve of The Daleks)

A humorous reference is made towards The Doctor’s broken communication style in TV: Orphan 55.

“Doctor: Oh. Come on. This is not the way to resolve a family dispute. How about good old-fashioned passive-aggressive discussion?”

While a joke it shows the cynical mind state The Doctor is in this episode, and also is honest for this Doctor. She doesn’t spend a lot of energy on her communication.

In instances where she is fighting a bad guy, she can come across as less anxious when she is 1-on-1 with an enemy than in other situations. (TV: Rosa, TV: Demons of the Punjab, TV: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror, TV: Ascension of The Cybermen, TV: The Halloween Apocalypse, TV: The Vanquishers, TV: Eve of The Daleks, TV: Power of The Doctor & Prose: The Secret in Vault 13). During TV: It Takes You Away The Doctor shows a lot of anxiety when only with friends or with other people but shows more competence when talking to the Solitract.

This Doctor also struggles with impulse control. (TV: The Tsuranga Conundrum, TV: Demons of the Punjab, TV: Kerblam!, TV: Spyfall pt2, TV: It Takes You Away, TV: Resolution, TV: Ascension of The Cybermen, TV: Eve of The Daleks & Prose: The Secret in Vault 13)

She can become very wreckless at times, her impulse control putting herself and/or others in danger. This behaviour is seen right away during TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth. We see The Doctor be willing to jump distances, wanting to turn on sirens, taking Ryan Sinclair’s phone and reworking it before even thinking to ask. In TV: The Witchfinders we see her dive headfirst into the water to save someone, while the right thing to do, it shows a degree of acting without fully considering possible consequences.

The behaviour can veer into recklessness. We can see this starting all the way back in her first episode in TV: The Woman Who Fell To Earth she starts her life jumping distances she can’t fully judge as someone who has a new body. During TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati, she acts dangerously by taking the Cyberium in and then giving it over to The Lone Cyberma,/Ashad.

Thirteen deals with a lot of anger (TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth, TV: Rosa, TV: Spyfall pt2, TV: Orphan 55, TV: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror, TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati, TV: Ascension of The Cybermen, TV: War of the Sontarans, TV: once, Upon Time, TV: Village of The Angels, TV: Survivors of The Flux, Prose: Combat Magicks, & Prose: Molten Heart) Which gets worse after the destruction of Gallifrey and the retraumatization.

In TV: The Timeless Children we see a lot of a fight response coming out as anger. Starting with her interactions with The Master before the reveal. While commenting on The Master’s problems and his anger you can see and feel how she is angry and intentionally getting The Master worked up with her prodding.

“Master: ... All gone now. Come on, ask me why I did this.

Doctor: Why did you do this?

Master: Not telling you. (laughs) Oh, crack a smile.

Doctor: Proud of yourself?

Master: Definitely.

Doctor: All this death finally made you happy?

Master: Ecstatic.

Doctor: And has it calmed all the rage?

Master: I don't think anything will ever do that. We're going to take a tour through the Capitol. Or its ruins, at least. Things I need to show you. And, er, I know you're worried about your friends. Plotting how to get away. I can see it in your eyes. But you can't help them, so don't even think about it”

Her reaction when faced with the memories of her abuse later in this episode causes a strong fight trauma response. She physically attacks The Master in an explosive outward response of anger. We know when The Doctor uses anything physical with her own body it is actions like Venusian Aikido that act as a quick disabling move versus these more unplanned and violent actions. It makes sense that this moment would push her over the edge, but it’s interesting to mark as we move forward.

In TV: Revolution of The Daleks The Doctor tells Ryan about her anger after the events of her loss of Galifrey, people dying, the Timeless Children revelations and the interactions with The Master.

“Ryan: And The Master? What did he want with you?

Doctor: It doesn't even matter now.

Ryan: No, no, no. Don't give me that. Right? I see what you're doing. You're trying to avoid the subject. We've known each other long enough now. I know when something's changed.

Doctor: Me too. I'm not who I thought I was, Ryan. What I always knew to be the story of my life... isn't true. I wasn't born on Gallifrey. Where I'm from, all the lives I've lived, some of that has been hidden from me, and I don't even know how much.

Ryan: Seriously? And how do you feel about that?

Doctor: Mostly... angry. While I was locked away, all I kept thinking was, if I'm not who I thought I was, then who am I?

Ryan: You're The Doctor. Same as before, same as always.

Doctor: Right. Same Doctor, same Ryan. Nothing's changed.

Ryan: No. No. I didn't say that, did I? Things change all the time, and they should, cos they have to..."

This is an interesting conversation as it reveals the emotional state of The Doctor and how this emotional instability forces her to be willing to sacrifice a TARDIS, something we know has consciousness. Her fight response is very clear here, breaking through her common engaged and anxious headspace.

Her anger and frustration can also come out cold, especially when dealing with people she doesn’t like. It heavily connects to a jaded sense of dealing with other people, she tries to be positive but there is anger and bitterness that highly impact her and can form an interesting dichotomy with her love and enjoyment. (TV: The Woman Who Fell To Earth, TV: Arachnids In The UK, TV: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos, TV: Resolution, TV: Spyfall pt1/pt2, TV: Orphan 55, TV: Fugitive of The Judoon, TV: The Timeless Children, TV: Revolution of The Daleks, & Prose: The Good Doctor)

In TV: Rosa we see this ability to have her anger come across as cold, this allows her to stay in charge of a situation while still expressing her anger outwards to people she doesn’t trust or does not need/don’t deserve her to empathise with them like in TV: Rosa.

“Doctor: ...So, temporal displacement weapon. Horrible things. Can't stand them.

Krasko: Thank you.

Doctor: Not a compliment. Takes a lot of power to displace things in Time. I think you and I both know your weapon's pretty much out of juice. And I've got your spare battery. You've been leaving traces of residual Artron energy all over 1955.

Krasko: And what are you, the Artron Police? Maybe you are. The blue box in the alley. Is it a Tardis?

Doctor: Might be. What's it to you?

Krasko: Well, it could be worth a lot.

Doctor: Nah, not that one. Second hand, huge mileage, one careless owner. Mind you, it's better than a Vortex Manipulator, like the one on your wrist. Cheap and nasty time travel.

Doctor: So, what do you want with Rosa Parks?

Krasko: Who?

Doctor: Oh, now you're being annoying.

Krasko: The feeling's mutual.

Doctor: How long have you been here?

Krasko: Get out of Montgomery.

Doctor: You're not the first to say that to us.

Krasko: If I see any of you again, I will kill you.

Doctor: Don't threaten me.”

Her agitation, anxiety and hypervigilance can leave her in a very restless state. (TV: The Woman Who Fell To Earth, TV: Arachnids in The UK, TV: Kerblam!, TV: It Takes You Away, TV: Spyfall pt1/pt2, TV: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror, TV: Praxeus, TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati, TV: The Halloween Apocalypse, Prose: The Secret in Vault 13, Comic: New Beginnings, & Comic: Alternating Current)

The Doctor shows a strong need to be in control of situations, when she isn’t able to have a handle on the situation it increases the above-mentioned stress symptoms. She also uses her cold anger to maintain her control. (TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth, TV: The Ghost Monument, TV: Arachnids In The UK, TV: Kerblam!, TV: Orphan 55, TV: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror, TV: Praxeus, TV: Ascension of The Cybermen, TV: Village of The Angels, TV: Survivors of The Flux, Prose: Combat Magicks, Prose: The Good Doctor, & Comic: Hidden Human History)

The above quote from TV: The Tsuranga Conundrum after the loss of her TARDIS also shows the need The Doctor has to control the staff of the ship as well as putting her needs above the others when in a distressed state. In TV: The Witchfinder we see how being perceived as female puts her in a space where she is seen as having to automatically be less powerful, she consistently pushes back, and while warranted the way she goes about it matches other times she tries to maintain control.

In TV: Fugitive Of The Judoon we have the way she tries to control the situation when the Fugitive!Doctor is trying to handle things. Thirteen can’t help but try to be the one who is manipulating events.

“Fugitive!Doctor: She's nobody.

Doctor: Fine. I'm nobody. Absolutely nobody. See, I know why you want her. You've got a contract, fair enough. But you? You want her dead because she left her job?

Fugitive!Doctor: Shut up.

Gat: Is that what she told you? This goes way higher than me.

Doctor: So, who would that be? Who are you all ultimately working for? I'd really like to know. Really.

Judoon: Information confidential.

Fugitive!Doctor: I told you to keep quiet.

Doctor And look where that's gotten us. Lots of guns in lots of faces.

Fugitive!Doctor: And have you got a better idea?

Doctor: I do, actually. My favourite. The curveball and the Judoon. You wanted to find The Doctor?

Fugitive!Doctor: Don't you dare.

Doctor: Well, here I am.

Fugitive!Doctor: Will you be quiet?

Doctor: Go on, scan me.

Judoon 2: Fugitive match positive. Fugitive match positive.

Fugitive!Doctor: Is there even a word for how dumb you are?

Doctor: Doctor?”

In TV: War of the Sontarans we see how The Doctor challenges the power structure out on the field of battle, knowing she is the best option for survival, as well as having a dislike for those in charge. The people she is around don’t trust her to handle what she can because of her perceived gender and her wanting to avoid violence on the soldiers.

A way this control is sometimes maintained is through having a bravado of how she interacts with other people. (TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth, TV: The Ghost Monument, TV: The Witchfinders, TV: Spyfall pt2, TV: Village of The Angels, TV: Survivors of The Flux & Prose: Combat Magicks)

This can play into overconfidence like when she goes to face the Dalek in TV: The Eve of The Daleks getting her and her friends exterminated. This shows again in TV: Power of The Doctor when she takes time to gloat towards The Master and ends up getting shot and regenerating.

In TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati we have an interesting comment on the power and control in her relationships and how it isn’t always something The Doctor wants but has become what they feel they have to do:

“Doctor: ... The world you came from, the world you were created in won't exist, so neither will you. It's not just his life at stake. It's yours. You want to sacrifice yourself for this? You want me to sacrifice you? You want to call it? Do it now. All of you. Yeah. Cos sometimes this team structure isn't flat. It's mountainous, with me at the summit in the stratosphere, alone, left to choose. Save the poet, save the universe. Watch people burn now or tomorrow. Sometimes, even I can't win.”

This line means The Doctor doesn’t like control, but shows that control has become compulsive and built into how they function on a base level.

While Thirteen doesn’t talk about her past regenerations or the ideal of The Doctor it’s still a huge part of her schema. ‘The Doctor is an ideal can be seen in this Doctor even if she talks about it less than the previous regenerations. But her struggles with identity are still very visible before and after the Timeless Child.

She seems somewhat afraid of who she is. As discussed above she kept a film between her and her companions which makes it easier for her to not have to fully face it. Some of this seems to stem from her introduction to this regeneration being born from the suicidal space Twelve lived in. As well as she has lost many companions in ways where they are cut off and the perceived betrayal of Missy. As well as her first adventure ending with Grace dying. Forming the idea of who she is while she is still 'fizzing'. (TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth)

Her strong identity issues spiral out of control after the loss of Gallifrey and then the Timeless Child. (TV: Arachnids In The UK, TV: Demons of the Punjab, TV: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror, TV: The Timeless Children, TV: Revolution of The Daleks, TV: The Halloween Apocalypse, TV: Once, Upon Time, TV: Village of The Angels, TV: Survivors of The Flux & TV: The Vanquishers)

In TV: Resolution we see The Doctor discuss her identity in terms of her long and horrible relationship with the Daleks.

“Doctor: I learned how to think like a Dalek a long time ago.”

“Doctor: Oh, mate. I'm The Doctor. Ring any bells?”

She doesn't seem happy about her being able to understand Daleks, understandably she dislikes weapons and hides a lot of the violence-related trauma she has. Trying to integrate all of history is extremely hard for Thirteen who deeply wants to be a good and hopeful person. But in the second line when no one is looking at her she experiences glee in scaring the Dalek. She owns her name/title very strongly to get one up on the Dalek, but it hurts to do so when she would have to do more than threaten an enemy.

Another key part of This Doctor’s characterization is a consistent need to present herself as hopeful and nice, moralising for herself and others, and her history of connection to violence. She wants to consistently try and give people hope, even if her ability to feel it herself might be affected due to the stressful mindset her C-PTSD puts her in during the early part of her run and becomes stronger as time goes on.

Right off the bat in TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth we get a very prototypical Doctor quote while she is getting in touch with who is going to be.

“Doctor: We're all capable of the most incredible change. We can evolve while still staying true to who we are.”

“Doctor: There's one thing I'm certain of. When people need help, I never refuse.”

A moment of trying to give others hope that is deeply genuine even with the grief overlaying it was in TV: Demons of The Punjab. During the wedding scene, she wants to believe and wants to be kind. And it was kind. She understands war, grief, and the loss of those closest to you. These are the moments when the silly old-time traveller is truly The Doctor.

“Doctor: I know there aren't many certainties in any of our lives, but Umbreen, Prem, what I see you in you is the certainty you have in each other. Something I believe in my faith. Love, in all its forms, is the most powerful weapon we have, because love is a form of hope and, like hope, love abides in the face of everything. You both found love with each other. You believed in it, you fought for it, and you waited for it. And now, you're committing to it. Which makes you, right now, the two strongest people on this

planet. Maybe in this universe.”

A similar situation happens in TV: The Tsuranga Conundrum where The Doctor invokes hope in a way that is both being kind as well using the idea as an identity support.

“Doctor: Thank you, Mabli. I'll be sure to tell them how brilliant you were.”

Mabil: You all were. Light in dark times.

Doctor: People prevail. Hope prevails.

During TV: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos we see her again invoke hope in a way that is slightly less meaningful and comes across as nicer than it does kind. It is part of a pattern she’s created for herself.

“Doctor: None of us know for sure what's out there. That's why we keep looking. Keep your faith. Travel hopefully. The universe will surprise you... constantly”

This functions as a pillar of their identity, needing to be a positive person to embody “laugh hard, run fast, be kind.’ Part of her need for control, and having a tendency towards black-and-white thinking.

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gremlinwithakeyboard · 9 months

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So I beat the mech bosses in master mode melee (with a bit of summoner) terraria

After I beat queen slime, I went back to the ice biome to try and get a frozen turtle shell. I didn't get that, but I did finally get myself a frostbrand!

I also did the torch god event in a tiny granite biome. Probably not the best place to do it but it worked.

The twins showed up one night so I decided to try out my bananarangs against them. It actually went pretty decently until I got to the living trees part of my skybridge which didn't have enough space to dodge.

I wanted to get a bladetongue and some ichor so I bought some crimson seeds and tried to get some blocks for an artificial crimson.

It... took a while for me to get anywhere with that.

While waiting for that to happen, I fought the goblin army a couple times and finally got the warlock to drop a shadowflame knife instead of that dang hex doll! Now I could set my enemies on 4 kinds of fire at once >:)

I decided to give the twins another go with the knife, and died really fast. This happened a few more times.

Back on the grind I finally had enough crimson to set up a nice fishing spot.

I got a bunch of good stuff from it, but I still couldn't kill the dang twins.

Eventually I got annoyed and decided to restock on potions and summoning items from a free items server to save time. I actually killed spazmatism this time, but I'd run away so fast that retinazer had despawned. The next time I tried, however...

I got the mini twins first try too! I killed them again and got safeman's set!

I needed to kill them another time to get full hallowed armor, but that wasn't too much of an issue. I'm starting to run out of room for more trophies...

I decided to go look for some life fruit in the (hallowed) underground jungle. It took a while but I found some!

My first fight with the destroyer went decently, even though I just sat in the air in my pirate ship for most of it. I got it's health down really low before I was overwhelmed by lasers. Skeletron prime went a lot worse, so I was going to do destroyer first. I'd just need some bulkier armor and more health regeneration.

Before I killed the twins, I'd farmed the old one's army tier 1 to get the defender medals I'd need to afford full squire armor and a ballista cane asap. I'd then gone and completely forgot about that plan. I remembered it now, and went to buy all the stuff from the tavernkeep. Then I decided to give tier 2 old one's army a go. It was intense, but I was handling myself decently until wave 6. I tried to take on too many flying enemies at once and died. Surely it was over. I ran back to my arena as wave 7 began. I pelted the ogre with shadowflame knives. It got to the crystal and promptly died. Had I won? Not quite, apparently. I had another ogre to fight. I was sure the crystal would run out of health before I killed this ogre, but it hung in there and I won first try.

I realised the squire armor would be perfect for the destroyer. It had high defense, nice regeneration and I could back myself up with 4 piercing ballistas.

This probably would have been fine, but I wanted to give myself as much of a chance as possible. I built myself a nice sky platform with some blocks to shelter and plenty of honey pools.

The fight was trivial. My ballistas rained down bolts and I rained down shadowflame knives when I wasn't dealing with the probes as they flew up. I was even able to kill it twice in one night.

Now, I just needed to beat skeletron prime. But first, I wanted to farm the destroyer to get its master mode pet! Unfortunately the game said no, you're fighting skeletron prime tonight. With plenty of buffs and a lot of flying around, I took down the last mechanical boss with help from my destroyer arena's honey pools.

I had to start mining out a new row for trophies!

Fortunately, my life fruit jungle farm also served up a plantera bulb. Now it was just a matter of gearing up for that big fight.

#casey's master mode melee challenge #terraria

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writingseaslugs · 1 year

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Salt the things you just wrote about the octo trio is making me cry because dang I wish I had more people around me irl that understood and helped me like they do each other. (I have like 2 max and its my sibling and my partner)

I do all 3 of what you wrote about and man its hard to deal with alone so Im glad the three of them have a good support system in eachother.

I lately got a chew pendant because my stress makes me bite my pinkie finger and apparently my partner tried to stop me and I had a death grip on it with my teeth they was scared I was gonna bite it off so they brought me something to chew. (I havent told them I bit straight threw a lump of silicone yet tho ._. they be a bit scared)

but its made me think of Jade having one just tucked under his shirt and he does it mainly while he is in the back away from everyone else

but just Azul being the one to buy one for both Jade and Floyd (and himself) because it in fact helps all three of them to have one (he brought matching but all in different colours azul has a pearly white, Jade has black and Floyd has teal and they are all shaped like little clam shells)

it helps Jade with his stress habit, it helps Floyd with his boredom and Azul when he is on a binge eating episode.

Sorry for rambling its just me feeling seen combined with my special interest and special boys (Jade and Floyd are my top 2 and Azul is 4th just beat out by Idia who is so much like my partner its almost creepy)

I totally get it. I only have three people who are good at recognizing my anxious signs and none of them live in the state I do. Once I found out I was going to have to go on a public bus before and it happened to be a school bus which caused an episode of scratching. Deadass my friend grabbed my hand and let me squeeze it the entire time we were on that bus. They are an angel and I miss them so damn much. My other friends are good at listening to me vent and when I visit one of them she’s always so good at making sure I’m safe and comfortable. I’ve been blessed yet cursed that they all live so far from me.

I can see twisted wonderland having specialized silicone chew toys as well since some of the people have sharper teeth. I’ve destroyed two of mine and need to order more, so the thought of more durable ones or even ones that regenerate when it has a hole in it with magic is so hnnnnng.

I can see Floyd laying on the couch trying his best to destroy one with his teeth when he’s particularly frustrated at something. Azul chewing on something while he’s stressing over the Lounge and it’s just keeping his mouth occupied. I can see him also chewing gum but having a like for the really sweet flavored gums (but he always get frustrated at how fast the flavor goes away with them).

The twins would probably prefer more neutral gums that they can have just to chew on. I see Jade chewing gum more often since it’s more inconspicuous to others looking around, but I see him also having a silicone eel that he’ll chew on when need be.

I swear I’m not projecting at all but all of the boys strike me on having oral stims. Floyd and Jade because they’re eels and are known for biting, and Azul because of food.

Also babe you are ALWAYS seen in this household. Everyone is. I love you all and I hope everyone is staying safe and stimming in a safe way.

#slug speaks 💛

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boyakishantriage · 10 months

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There's a lots of things. Lots of people. Lots of places. But the UEN was less government and more agreement. Large groups always formed, so representatives. They gathered, talked and discussed. Daily. Weekly. Freely. With extremists shunned as they saw no need for them. And they fought them. Those that followed and did what was undeniably bad. People who hurt my kind and others. The ones who join with true criminals, liars and demons. I drew my blade, wings extended as I faced the army. Then, I leapt off the ship.

I'd been stranded eight times. Came back for a friend. Went back out because of war. And now, I was putting on a show.

Much larger than I, jumping onto the civilian ship, I grasped the metal cover to the large transport. Forcing my mind to comprehend and form a shell around it, I pushed the ship backwards, hard enough they'd be out the blast zone as I leapt off the large ship.

The alien armada glared at the single attacker, one human with what appeared to be some kind of biotechnical wings, black feathered as the woman pulled her body forward, reaching for her blades as she neared. Before the turrets glowed ready to fire.

A single glowing speck of a shape against the fast sky, a warp gate nearby as the mothership approached the entrance to the next warp gate leading to the captial. The human delegation appeared much more calm, as a single human raced forward to counter the force.

"... Where's her suit?"

Her hands and feet ignited, flames erupting from her hands as she drew her blades. Her wings now in full glory, each wing longer then the length of her body with muscles grown out her lean shape, wings for speed and most certainly capable of working in space. One blade ignited in a high frequency flame, the other severely low.

The human approached the ship much quickly, now matching one of the human "wasp" ships, small and made for scouting or small civilian use. No matter, the energy weapon fired.

The beam split apart, twin blades sweeping in opposite directions as ice formed beneath her feet, pushing off it as she swung the ice forward, it melting and absorbing into her as she raced forward.

Lasers fired, high energy, explosive, slugs, bullets slicing into pieces, ducked or missiles flying after the woman as she twirled, slicing through the glass window.

Pandemonium, three camera drones had dropped from her body, the screens across the galaxy who watched this watched as the human with only two blades danced around guns, lasers, weapons, sweeping up eruptions of heat, acid and something else as particles flew off the ground slicing the crew to bleed before thrusting her hand through the leader's heart.

Her body had glowed yellow, eyes igniting into flames as the levitating shards sliced the armada to pieces. The drones flew ahead, filming the chaos as one cut to her jamming the engine, kicking the panel aside as she plunged her hand into the open hold.

Dragging a black hole in her hand, she marched back to the newly regenerated alien, thrusting the black hole through her chest and whispering something into her ear. Then, the ship shrunk into itself. The black hole vanishing as she stood. A red lined battle axe on her back, a devilish grin on her face.

The warp gate shattered, almost immediately, the woman's weapons floating in the empty space, hulls sliced on the way there and back, momentum forcing the ships to spread apart lest they crash into one another. Letting out a sigh, energy and matter became pushed from where the hole were, absorbing into the woman before she readied her axe to the ground. And charged.

"Magic everyone. Now I'm gonna go home. Toodles!"

The remains of the battle lay scattered over the field, the woman kicking the portal's panel shut as it whirred back on. The remaining supporters on a ship with enough energy and life support they could be saved. And with that, she stepped through. Something.

#tag #Triage #humans are space orcs

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theangelshavethephonebox · 2 years

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nuwho doccyfication series: Rose Tyler

So, the first NuWho doccyfication post will be on the first NuWho companion, unsurprisingly. These posts are coloured by my personal opinions, don't expect objectiveness, I'm not here for analysis, just to share my thoughts. This will be long because it's the first one.

Rose Marion Tyler, Powell Estate, working girl who met the Doctor at age 19. She spent two seasons with him, doctors 9 and 10, as he regenerated at the end of season one.

So, we meet her at the start, she's a shop girl, has a boyfriend, essentially living an ordinary life. She cares for people, which is something we see throughout. She risks her life to help others, even total strangers. She falls in love with the Doctor, which is the pivotal point in this post.

Because she's a nice person, helping out, and the contrast between her and the Doctor is what brings the Doctor back to himself. He starts as a broken shell of a man from the War, and she essentially helps him heal, because seeing her kindness reminds him that he wasn't kind, which is why he needs to be now.

Rose falls in love with him and he falls in love with her. Honestly, I don't think Rose has much of a doctorification arc, Except when she's trying to save/help the Doctor. She looks into the heart of the TARDIS, risking her life to save him, and this is the first time I can really point to and go "this can be taken as doctorification". The Doctor and the TARDIS are inextricably linked, and so by linking herself with the TARDIS, she is taking on part of him. It's like she can understand him better, because she's seen what he sees: "but that's what I see, all the time!".

Also, "The time war ends". She destroys the Daleks, living creatures, to end the War for him. Like he did. Taking on his burden because she's changed him too much for him to do it. Plus the bringing of eternal life to Jack? Saving people whilst breaking the rules of time is very Doctor, especially as she goes too far and brings him back forever.

Anyway, back to the TARDIS. This glimpse of ✨him✨ allows them to grow closer, and after his regeneration she gets more adventurous, risking her life more often, as happens with most companions. Essentially they become comfortable around each other so she starts adapting, becoming more like him. I want to draw your attention to Army of Ghosts, the start of her leaving- "This is where I died". During this, she put on a lab coat, investigated, made speeches to Daleks- she was very Doctor-y.

There were other episodes, especially in season two (where as I said, we can really see her becoming more adventurous and changing more. This is partly because I feel like we didn't have 9 long enough for me to feel really connected to him, so I just didn't really register the arcs during that era because it was too short!). But all good things must come to a close, and I don't want to delve into specific episodes, so I'll leave it there.

Summary: the Doctorification of Rose Tyler seems to pivot around their love for one another, and the way they change each other through that love. I wouldn't say it's obvious, you might not even be able to call this doctorification, but they do change each other and so that's doctorification enough for me.

Your honour they're in Love!!!!

#long post #nuwho doccyfication series #rose marion Tyler #rose tyler #dw #doctor who #dr who #i ship time petals quite hard as you can probably tell. (time petals is Dr x Rose)#time petals #tenrose #ninerose

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erikahammerschmidt · 2 years

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I love how different minds work.

One time I was having a conversation, with another awesomely creative neurodivergent geek... about alien creature design, and how I love the challenge of trying to imagine... something that evolved on another world, and ended up looking COMPLETELY different from any Earth animal.

(Yep that’s a thing I drew, in high school... more on that later...)

Like, what things do we assume are universal, whenever we imagine a living creature? And how do we make up an alien that breaks those paradigms? And how weird and impractical can it get before it's outside the boundaries of what COULD, hypothetically, evolve (bearing in mind, of course, that a lot of what evolved on Earth is super weird and impractical too, because evolution does NOT result in the "best" design, it's just whatever it managed to evolve with what it had, to become as compatible as it could with the environment it happened to be in at the time).

Anyway, when I went through my most enthusiastic phase of this, in my teens... I made several tries at designing an alien with one of the few features that I knew I'd NEVER seen in Earth life: a body that moves on WHEELS instead of legs.

Of course, the obstacle to this is that a wheel needs to be able to spin independently of the main body, so how could it be a body part? And back then, I could imagine two possible ways:

#1. The entire creature is basically torus or cylinder shaped, and moves by rolling. The body IS the wheel.

(here is a drawing from one of my high school art books, with a scene from a very multicultural spaceship... featuring a Cyclian, one of the aliens I designed in this style. It is, quite fortunately, dated, so I know this was 1997.)

#2. Alternatively, the wheel is a separate creature, born together with the main one. They are like conjoined twins, but not actually connected, more like being born with arms linked. A loop of the main body goes through the wheel. Wheel eats and drinks separately, maybe shifts its weight to help with motion. There can be some other appendages to help propel it, maybe a pushing leg on the ground, or arms that turn the wheels like on a wheelchair.

(Here is a truly horrible quality scan of one of my paintings from slightly before then, maybe 1996, maybe earlier 1997. Meet my spring-legged aliens, and their Wheelberry Beast with its one long cylindrical wheel and little pushing leg. This is also an alien riff on food-producing livestock like cows and hens, because it grows edible “fruit” on its tentacles.)

Years later, I realized there are a few more possibilities:

#3. Same as #2, a loop of the main body goes through the wheel, except the wheel is not actually alive. It's made of some non-living material that forms along with the rest of the body and then lasts for life without regenerating itself. Like tooth enamel. (Downside: like tooth enamel, if it wears out you're screwed.)

#4. Same arrangement, except the non-living wheel does regenerate itself, because it's made of layers of something like keratin, forming periodically on the skin of the "axle" loop. Maybe wheels are shed and grown seasonally like antlers. Maybe the growth happens in hibernation, and the first thing the alien does after waking up is to loosen the innermost keratin layer, separate it from the flesh like a lizard shed, and get the wheel spinning.

So, a couple years ago I was infodumping about this to another nerd... and she suggested one more way! One that had not occurred to me!

#5. In her idea, the creature is not born with wheels, but is born with some type of magnetic organs inside it, where wheels could go. And then... finds things to use as the wheels, and they attach magnetically.

I asked her what these things would be... flat rocks or something? And she said she was imagining them as the discarded shells of some other creature, like how a hermit crab uses snail shells instead of having one of its own.

I was like WOW that is a whole different perspective! And it really makes me think about what we even mean by a creature that has wheels. If the wheels can be foreign objects, basically used like tools... then, is that kinda the same thing (on a much simpler scale) as humans "evolving wheels" by learning to make wheeled vehicles?

And then this idea inspired another one from me!

I took another look at my own paradigm, in which I had been trying to find ways it could work with the wheels being part of the body... and realized I could COMBINE that same approach with the new idea of a detachable-wheels model.

#6. Maybe there are multiple creatures, including some that are wheel-shaped and others that have different types of limbs, but they're all the same species! And they're a social species, with individuals adapted for different tasks within each family, like an ant colony! And the whole family can combine into a wheeled vehicle, whenever they need to get somewhere fast...

Moral: Get nerds together. You will be AMAZED at the ideas that happen.

P.S. Writing this, I just thought of #7:

The wheels are not actually separate from the body! But the flesh that connects them is flexible and stretchy, like a rubber band. Lift up each wheel one at a time, like a paw, and spin it until tightly wound up. When all 4 (or however many) wheels are wound up, set them all down and let loose! Only good for short sprints before you need to recharge again.

#drawings #paintings #creature design #science fiction #aliens #neurodivergent #art #artists #evolution #biology #wheels #brainstorming #ideas

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christmascocos2023 · 8 months

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Monday 21st August

Woke to bit more wind and some showers in the very early morning. Fortunately it didn’t cause a problem with my Turtle tour as cleared. Wind did make it choppy coming back but getting wet wasn’t an issue.! Got lucky again as 2 didn’t show and the other 2 had gone out early so they could fit in another tour so was just Kylie and I. We went out in the motorised canoe again and hunted for turtles. Clear and relatively shallow so very easy to spot and there are plenty of them. Had option to snorkel but didn’t need too to see them. They just seem pretty ok with canoe and swim close. Every now and again one with suddenly pop it’s head up to check you out😁. As I said yesterday dredging activity has destroyed the sea grass and that is about 80% of green turtles food so their numbers have halved. We went to an island that you can get on if the tide is low enough which was used as a crematorium in the old days if workers died as there was no refrigeration to store bodies. Sadly it also is where the turtles seem to go to die. There are dozens of shells and broken down shells. The crabs eat the bodies but the shells have to break up. Walking across the island from where we dropped anchor to the other side was 50 metres! The other end was about 100mtres. On the other side is ankle deep and at one end the sand is like quick sand because that is where the dredged stuff was dropped. This island gets a bit of rubbish from SE Asia so we picked up about half a bag while we were there. We then came and looked at the very small trial of sea grass regeneration. They are planting the rhizomes and have them in cages to protect them from the turtles who would eat them before they grew!

We then headed back and saw lots more turtles, fish and even a small reef shark. As we came toward where we anchor there are 2 areas on the beach that are used for board surfing training and there are dozens of them with their brightly coloured kites in the air. Pretty spectacular. Along with them are the windsurfers also with bright sails. While the wind can be a challenge in the canoes it is definitely much desired by these groups😂.

Once we got back in we went for a bit of a swim and the went to talk to a couple of the locals who were windsurfing and watched the set up and off. The can get across to Home Island and back in a flash. They just seem to disappear 😁.

That was my last tour and nice to finish on a high. Have to go into leaving mode now. There is so much hanging around essentially twiddling you thumbs between the time you vacate accommodation and actual check in(as is with any holiday.) My plan is to put my travel clothes in my carryon and spend spare time in island clothes of shorts and thongs. I can then change at the club (read pub) which is across the pavement from where you queue to get into the tiny airport and check in. Once checked hold luggage in you can go back into the club until flight time apparently. Not sure 2 or more hours drinking on my own is a good idea though 🤣🤣. I am hoping to get a Pizza from Saltys pre flight so can have had dinner at least! It is a 4.5hr flight to Perth with stop at Christmas to unload people who are going from Cocos to Christmas as part of their holidays. We don’t arrive in Perth until midnight and that assumes no delays ( which always seem to happen😏).

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thebrokentale · 1 year

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Chapter 5- Number 14 (Care)

Previous Chapter- Children

Tilda crashed into the wooden ground. Wood came flying out from her back, falling across the ground. Tilda got up, healing her wound, and then stepped forward. Like magic, the once broken ground reformed itself, making all the wood appear normal once again.

“Huh.” Tilda attacked the ground, chipping wood off of it. And again, it reformed itself, much like how Tilda would regenerate a wound.

“Now that I think about it…”

Tilda looked around, discovering her new surroundings. The fancy cruise liner made of metal and steel was no more, an illusion of the real ship. That wasn’t to say that the real ship was bad, but it was very different. And much more haunting. Made entirely of wood, it was much more akin to a pirate ship. But it was huge. It was so, so very large.

Not as large as the cruise ship, but its size was impossible to imagine for Tilda. As someone that lived through history, she was used to these kinds of boats. She had seen hundreds from the coast of Japan. But never this big. Never this huge and gargantuan. The hallway she was on seemed to stretch forever, and the rooms she could see seemed to always lead to another one. There was practically nothing IN the boat, an empty shell for the battle that would be taken in it. It had a horribly uneasy atmosphere, almost like the boat was alive.

But I know that’s not the case. It’s most likely someone’s element controlling it. One of the 15.

But the strangest part about the boat was its direction. Tilda couldn’t tell where it was going. What room led to where. It seemed like a maze, even when it was rowing along.

Maybe the thing that was making this boat look like a cruise ship is now using his power to do something completely different.

“Woah!” Tilda fell over, the sea getting more choppy. In fact, it was outright violent.

“It’s hard to stand!” Tilda tried to get up, but the sea pushed her onto her knees. “Shit.”

The imbalance and force from the sea was incredibly intense. A huge wave came up from the side of the boat, and crashed onto Tilda. It was incredibly painful, the sea feeling almost like it carried hatred along with it.

Wait, it couldn’t possibly-

Then it began to rain. And it rained hard. Lightning crashed onto the raging sea, as the sky raged itself. The rain fell down like knives, crashing into the boat.

No…

Once again the sea crashed into Tilda as she tried to get up, pushing her to the ground. Everything looked muddy, as her vision was affected by the sea. She coughed up water out of her mouth, as her hands felt stuck to the floor. It hurt so much. It was like she was being pummeled by existence itself.

Forced onto all fours, Tilda tried to breathe as she was soaking wet. Water dripped off of her hair as she realized just what kind of situation she was in. She wanted to sleep. To go back to a dream. She could barely see anything, her own shadow covered by the darkness. The night sky howled at her, covered by large and ferocious clouds. She couldn’t tell if sweat was pouring down her back or if it was just salt water.

“I don’t have time for this!”

Tilda attempted to get up once again, but was struck down by the sea a fourth time. She felt, no, she knew that people were laughing at her. The boat was laughing at her. The sea was laughing at her. Tilda hated the humiliation, but she knew why it was happening.

All these people… They’re people I know, aren’t they? People hurt by my actions, who have all come at once to make me pay.

Tilda finally had the strength to stand up, but was shaken by the boat once again, only to fall into-

“Lady Tilda! Are you alright?”

Tilda fell into someone’s arms, and she quickly pushed them away.

“Hey. I don’t need your help.”

There was a young man, almost looking like he was 17. He looked exceptionally strange, even for a spirit.

“I want to help you. To tell you the truth, I only took this job at the prospect of meeting you!”

The boy had red and blue hair. One side red, one side blue. His eyes were the same way, his clothes the same, every part of him was a flip-flop between red and blue. Tilda was confused at first, but then understood everything.

“Ah.”

The boy had a halo above his head, but also two horns. He had large demonic wings, but a large ring around his wrist.

“An angel and a demon. I assume you followed in my footsteps, and now want to meet the real thing?”

The boy smiled, his eyes glistening with amazement.

“You really are as amazing as they say!”

The boy put a hand to his chest and spoke. “I am the nephilim Eirie, and I am Number 15 of the samurai.”

“So what are you going to do other than lick my boots?” “

I plan to fight alongside you, and destroy these fools who dare to cross you! Let’s work together, partner!”

Tilda almost never got angry at people that worshiped her. She loved attention. She loved pampering, and being called things like sir, and ma’am, lord and lady, master or mistress. She loved it all. And loved to reward those that did so. But this time… She found this boy incredibly annoying.

“Do you think I’m going to agree just like that? You’ll just pop in and say hello? I barely know anything about you!”

“But I love you!”

“I don’t love you!”

Eirie suddenly looked bashful. “Oh, that’s right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. But, Tilda, even with your incredible powers, you’re going to need my help. The villains you have to face off against, they are numerous and full of power. You can’t defeat them alone.”

Tilda, this guy is annoying. Just kill him already.

Tilda was shocked by Natusme’s request.

B- But he’s a spirit!

Natsume was biting her nails inside Tilda’s soul. I don’t care. Do it.

“Eirie, I don’t know if you noticed, but I have the same, if not better powers that you do. I’m also an angel and a demon. The only thing you’re benefiting me with is your personality. And, not to be rude, but I don’t like you very much.”

“What?”

Eirie’s stance became deflated, as he stared at Tilda.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I don’t like you.”

“But, but I came all this way. Lady Tilda, aren’t you-”

“Stop saying my name with your filthy lips.”

Not many people had the privilege of seeing Tilda angry, and Eirie regretted everything the moment he saw it.

“What are you really? A fan? Then why are you here? Take my autograph and go. Don’t waste my time with this nonsense. Do you think you know me? You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me. We have nothing in common. Do you think just because we’re both nephilims we’re the same? Did you think it would bring you closer to me? You are nothing compared to me. I have powers that you could hardly dream of. We are not even close.

“You’re a boy on a battlefield of men and women. Rust, who is three years younger than you, is a woman. You’re just a kid, fantasizing about meeting your hero. Get out of this war, before you regret it. You will never be in my mind after this. I’ll forget you immediately. You’re Number 15. The back of the line.”

Eirie was destroyed, but he kept talking, instead of running away. “W- Wait, we are still both nephilims! We serve the same masters! God and Dark both! Tilda-”

“I said to stop calling me that!”

“We both went through great challenges, and came out on top! We’re in the middle! We’re the bridge between Heaven and Hell!”

“Ha.”

Tilda began to snicker.

“Haha…”

“What? What’s so funny?”

Tilda had a devilish grin. “You seem to have the wrong idea. While I am an angel, and I respect Heaven with all my might… There is only one true love for me.”

Tilda opened her mouth and put a finger in it, stretching it forward to reveal her fangs.

“I treasure these fangs far more than the stupid ring around my wrist. Someone I actually care about is Satan. He can use my name whenever he wants.”

Tilda put her finger out of her mouth and then pointed it at Eirie, her saliva dripping off of it. “You, however, have no right to utter those words.”

“S- Satan is dead! I’m real!”

“I knew you would say that. I knew you were just trying to take advantage of me. You dirty, stupid boy. I’m going to show you what a real demon looks like.”

Tilda took off her headband, and let it go, causing it to fall into the wind. And slowly, Tilda’s energy began to skyrocket. It became more and more, as she accepted a transformation. Her blood exploded, and began to form a new body, one large and monstrous. Her eyes turned blood red, as her horns grew larger and twisted around and around. Flesh intertwined as Tilda grew and grew. Her fangs got larger to accommodate her new extreme mouth, as her eyes screamed forward. Terrible wings began to spread as her energy became colossal. She stared at Eirie, and then… He was dead.

Roger was annoyed. “Tilda, you left out what you did to him.”

“Did I?”

“I don’t like it when you tease me, especially when things are this intense.”

“Intense? You knew he was going to die, and you knew I would live. He was a loser.”

“Yeah but… This is scary.”

Roger had a worried look on his face. “You were ambushed. You don’t even know who the other people are. And Rust is at the top. The person you least wanted to see.”

“That’s right. It was a horrible situation.”

“A- Anyway, what happened?”

“I don’t remember.”

“T- T- T…”

Tilda looked at Roger. “Are you alright?”

Roger looked embarrassed, his face red.

“Oh, are you afraid to say my name? Roger, it’s completely fine. You’re my partner. I’ll never be upset.”

“Ok. Tilda, did you really forget?”

“It’s not that I forgot, I blacked out. I don’t know what I did to him. The only thing I know is that I transformed into a giant fox, and then woke up with his soul in my hands, cracked and in pieces. And of course, his blood all over my body.”

Tilda smiled as she said that.

“What?”

Tilda looked at the broken soul. It was a strange sensation, even though Tilda had seen it hundreds upon thousands of times. After realigning herself, she ate the other pieces, consuming them like rock candy. Her demonic fangs bit into it, sucking the energy out of them.

So good… Tilda was one of the only people that ate souls, with most believing it to be a revolting display. Tilda licked the blood off of her fingers as she ate the rest of Eirie, saying goodbye to him forever.

The naked ninja of blood stood up, reformed her dress, and looked around once again. The wood was all over the place, ravaged by whatever she did. Claw marks across the floor and the walls. Fire was burning all around, but it was put out by the sea and rain. The damaged wood was once again healed, and it all came back. Tilda heard someone else’s voice, from another room in the ship.

“Damnit!”

She walked towards where she heard it, and into the many rooms and corridors of the ship. The ship shook with the rapid changing of the tides, but Tilda still held strong. She was beginning to become used to its waters, and pressed on. She followed the voice, though it seemed to move through the rooms, its direction changing.

“Stay strong…” Then another voice, this one calm and defiant. It was full of strength and confidence, a maturity far beyond even Zabbaninja’s age. “You still have so much more.”

Suddenly, a door burst open, revealing the way forward. Red energy flowed out of it, making an arrow. Tilda knew where she had to go. She couldn’t stop for a moment. Tilda walked into the room, and saw where the other voice came from.

“Damnit!!”

A woman was thrashing around the room, kicking a chair that would be reformed again and again.

“Those bastards!!” She punched the wall.

“You bitches!!” She slammed into a bed.

“Belfast!!” She slammed her foot into the desk.

“Misty!” She jumped up and then slammed both of her fists into the ground, making them go into the floor.

“ALL OF YOU!!” She just sat there, fuming with anger. In her rage, she looked at Tilda, breathing heavily. “What?”

Tilda was watching so intently she didn’t even realize she was staring.

“O- Oh, sorry. Who is Belfast and Misty?”

“My sisters. I hate them.”

“Why do you hate them?”

The woman took her fists out of the ground and stood up.

“I shouldn’t be telling you this. I’m Aim, The Goddess of Sweat. Number 14 of the samurai.”

Aim gave off the energy of a combat expert or a martial artist. She was made almost entirely of water, but it was all in the shape of a human being. Her eyes were dark blue, with light blue irises. She wore a tae-kwon-do gi, wrapped around her blue body.

Are those necessary? “Just out of curiosity, If you remove those clothes, will there be private parts underneath?”

Aim nodded, never once faltering. She had a black headband and black belt. She was still so angry.

“Can you tell me why you’re so angry?”

“I don’t care about our stupid mission. I only care about my sisters. And yet, they’ve changed. They're so rude and awful now. Tell me, out of the Goddess of Rain, the Goddess of the Sea, and the Goddess of Sweat, which one would you choose?”

“H- Hold on, what mission are you referring to?”

“The reason we’re here. All three of us are ‘daughters’ of the Goddess of Water. We all wanted to kill Magnus, the God of Stone. We wanted revenge so bad. But you beat us to it. Our mission is to kill you, the person that took our revenge away.”

Such a petty reason…

“We’ve aligned ourselves with the Goddess of Treasure, for she has finally found a way forward for us. Or at least, that's what Belfast thinks.”

Aim dropped her stance, and stared at the ground. “They used me. They haven’t thought one bit about my feelings. About how I feel. They’re the older sisters. They know what’s right. I hate them… I hate both of them… The Goddess of Sweat is not a loser! I’m stronger than both of them! I know it! I… I know it!”

Even Aim herself seemed to doubt those words, as drops of water leaked from her eyelids.

“I hate them… But the only person I hate more is YOU, ZABBANINJA!! They would have never become like this if it wasn’t for your fucking stupid fight with Magnus! I would still have my older sisters if it wasn’t for you! My kind, sweet, and caring older sisters, who actually cared about me! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!! Why didn’t you think about what would happen if you killed him? Why did you do it? Didn’t you have some idea what would happen if you were to kill him?! But now your time is up! I’m going to kill the one that took my sisters away!”

Aim held her hands outwards, pointing them at Tilda.

Sweat, huh? And then Tilda felt it.

“Eeek!” Tilda made a girlish scream as she began to sweat heavily. It was an extremely uncomfortable feeling, but it wasn’t very painful or frightening.

“Is… Is this all you can do? I must admit, I am thoroughly embarrassed, but I’m not sure if making me perspire is really a powerful ability. Wait…”

“Shut up!”

Aim kicked Tilda, causing her to crash into the wall. At that moment Aim followed up, roaring to punch Tilda yet again.

“Die!” But as Aim moved her arm, Tilda turned back into blood and swam right through Aim’s body, grabbing her soul.

“You’re like a ghost. And that’s not a good thing.”

Tilda’s bloody hand squeezed onto Aim, and yet the goddess didn’t look frightened for a second.

“You’re making a mistake Tilda.”

Aim grabbed Tilda’s bloody arm, and then twisted it, throwing her into the ground.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m liquid too. Your pathetic blood won’t work on me.”

“Gah!” The ninja crashed into the wooden floor, her blood splattering all around. But before she could get up, Aim kicked her across the ground, spreading more blood across the floor.

“You’re a lot stronger than 15.”

“That boy had no reason to be here. He just wanted to see you. But we needed him for his information, so we kept him along for this journey. But now that he’s served his purpose, your real battle begins!”

Aim kicked the bloody mass into the wall, going from corner to corner of the room.

I’ve got to get my body back.

Aim scowled, her energy rising. She was relentless, constantly dealing out attacks. Tilda slithered away for a second, reforming her body, only for it to get trashed once again by a massive punch. Tilda took the pain, and then decided to go on the offensive, striking Aim, only for Aim’s water to go back to her body in an instant.

“How can you do that? Your element is sweat, not water!”

“How do you know I’m made of water?”

Now Tilda was truly uncomfortable, and was once again struck by a massive blow.

“You think I’m gross, don’t you?”

Hit again.

“You think I’m nasty, right?”

And then again.

“It’s what everyone thinks.”

One more time.

“You all think I’m a disgusting piece of shit!!”

And then a hundred blows, Aim’s energy overflowing with rage.

“That’s what you all think! When you first saw me, you thought I was beautiful, didn’t you? You thought I was lovely! You wanted to touch me, you even commented on my body! But now that you know I’m made of sweat, you don’t want to get near me! You don’t even want to look at me! Well guess what?”

Blood was staining the wall as it fell apart, Tilda’s flesh pushing into its broken pieces. “I’m Number 14, and I’m going to end you!!”

Tilda summoned everything she had, and grabbed Aim’s arm, only to punch her in the face. She knocked Aim back, and began to fight again.

“You’re pretty strong. Tell me, how do you fare against your sisters?”

“Zabbaninja, I thought you’d be much stronger than this. You’re really disappointing me.”

“I’m just warming up. It’s going to take a while to get to my full strength. And besides, my soul alone is more than enough to deal with you.”

Tilda reformed her body once again, this time wielding Echo. Purple energy wrapped around him, and Zabbaninja woke up, his purple eyes glowing.

“Let’s do this.”

“So the beast shows himself. Let’s make this quick.”

Zabbaninja rushed forward, his sword going through Aim’s body. Even so, he pushed his arm through and clawed at her soul. His nails grazed it, causing transparent blood to climb out of Aim.

“You’ll pay for that!”

Still, Zabbaninja could only do a surface wound, as Aim kicked the ninja back. “Where’s your spirit weapon?”

“I don’t have one yet.”

Zabbaninja was surrounded by purple energy, and he screamed forward once again.

“Then you’re going to have a very hard time against me!”

Aim kicked through Zabbaninja’s sword, then kicked his body, going past it. The blow had some serious weight to it, and blood arched out of the ninja and onto the ground.

“You’re going to have to do more than that!” Once again Aim passed through Zabbaninja’s sword and managed to hit the ninja, though this time her soul was scarily close to the sword. Again it happened, Aim repeating the motion. She would easily swim through the blade, avoiding its sharp grasp, and punish blood out of the ninja. More and more red blood leaked all around, spreading across the room. It stained the brown floors, turning them into a much brighter color.

But as Aim caught more and more blows, she got more reckless. Zabbaninja managed to kick her soul, but still she fought back. Then he punched it, erupting an awful feeling in Aim. But still she hit him, crushing his body.

“There’s no point in hitting me! My blood will just come back in an instant!”

“Shut up! Stop telling me what to do!”

Aim’s eyes furrowed, her rage becoming visible.

“SHUT UP!!”

Aim launched forward, moving her fist and her legs in a way to strike like a battering ram, slamming into Zabbaninja’s stomach. Unfortunately for her, in that moment, Zabbaninja finally managed to strike Aim’s soul with his sword. It didn’t slice the whole thing, but it opened a wound, causing Aim to fall back. She staggered backwards, holding onto her soul as blue blood gushed out of her body.

“Shut up!!”

Zabbaninja stood still, blood leaking out of him. He stopped, thinking something was wrong.

“I needed to do this! I’m not going to stop!” Aim was clasping a hand to her ear, and looking around as if someone else was in the room with them.

“It’s the only way to defeat him! So what if he scratched me!”

Zabbaninja watched on in curiosity. Wait… Could it be her sisters she’s talking to?

“Safe? Nothing about this is safe! If I die I die! Who cares! Now shut up and let me do this! Watch, as I cripple him!”

“Cripple me? Now that’s funny. It’s time you see what my element can truly do.”

Even though Zabbaninja had holes in his body, bleeding out across the ground, he smiled. But when he tried to reform his body, nothing happened. His blood stayed still, just stains in the ground and ceiling.

“What?”

“Tell me, Zabbaninja, have you ever heard the phrase, ‘don’t sweat the details?’”

Aim smirked as she said that, even though she was bleeding as well. “I think you’ve managed to forget something. How to regenerate, that is!”

Aim began to laugh, her eyes glowing in the dark room.

“REMEMBER ZABBANINJA, THE MORE VAGUE AN ELEMENT IS, THE STRONGER IT IS!!”

Zabbaninja gripped his sword tightly, with a horrified look on his face.

“I- I’ll still take you down!”

Aim suddenly looked bigger. Like she was a giant. “I’ll destroy you.”

Aim walked forward, walking through the sword once again. Now Zabbaninja knew the true destructive force of Aim, and so he was much more cautious. In doing so, he left himself open, and suffered another blow from Aim. Zabbaninja then took Echo back into him, and instead focused on hitting Aim with his fists. He no longer thought a clean strike was possible. He grabbed Aim’s arm, and then kicked her soul again, causing her wound to leak more blood.

“Urk!” He punched Aim, throwing her to the floor. But still the ninja spurted blood out, his movements tearing his body. Aim quickly got up, and got ready to punch the ninja. At the same time, he got ready to strike her. In that moment, they both leaned back, and blood arched out of both their bodies. They fell down, their bodies refusing to stand.

“I’ll break you…”

“You’re really strong. But you won’t survive.”

Aim raised her arm, her eyes flickering. “I’ll make you forget how to breathe…”

Zabbaninja couldn’t breathe. He tried to take in air but it was no use. His body was falling apart.

“Shut up… I’ll beat him… Don’t tell me to stop.”

Aim’s wound was getting bigger, her soul leaking not only blood but energy now.

“Haha, who’s going down first? You or me?”

Zabbaninja held up his hand. “I’m sorry Aim, but it’s you. I can’t regenerate… And I can’t breathe… But blood isn’t the only part of me.”

“What?” Aim’s eyes grew wide as another figure leapt out of Tilda, with green energy surrounding her. She held a sword and had a terrible look on her face, full of rage.

“WHAT?!” She knew she was dead, and her body scrambled to move. But in that moment, Natsume lunged forward to kill Aim, only to be stopped by a large blue flash of light.

“Aim… Your fight is finished.”

A blue hand was around Aim’s soul, protecting it from all harm. A woman formed in front of her, standing up straight in the small cabin. She looked at Tilda with a look of disgust, mist coming out of her mouth as she scowled. A wave of water came out of the door to the room, and consumed Aim in it. The water took Aim away, and she vanished from Zabbaninja’s view. He watched as she disappeared, leaving him to stand up. The ninja took a deep breath, and recalled his blood back to his body.

“You were amazing…”

Characters-

Tilda/Zabbaninja- Is scared out of her mind. The situation has become apparent. Fifteen people are there to kill her. Will regeneration be enough?

Eirie- A nephilim who admires Tilda. Number 15 of the Samurai. Is essentially worthless. Element- Foolishness

Aim- Number 14 of the Samurai. The Goddess of Sweat. Hates Tilda for ruining her sisters. Wants to prove herself. Is stronger than she looks. Element- Sweat.

Magnus- The God of Stone, who became the God of Conflict. Is known for his murder of the Goddess of Water. After years of being in hiding, Tilda came across him, and after a tremendous battle, killed him, getting revenge for the hundreds of lives he destroyed. Tilda earned the sword Reverse for doing so. Element- Wish

Satan- The Leader of Hell, and the God of Humanity. Was originally despised for his rudeness and general lack of respect. He created demons, unruly creatures that he had to beat into submission. His world Hell was only known for fighting and conflict, and demons were known for their love of war, which Satan shared. After the Endless Death, Satan lost almost all of his demons, leaving him alone and desperate. His foul actions had him shunned by everyone, and he dedicated his life to regaining favor with the world he mocked. Over hundreds of years, Hell became one of the most attractive, relaxing, and heavily visited worlds in the entire Ocean. Demons were known for their kind hospitality and heroic natures, and Satan became a strong fighter for all things right. He was loved, respected, and honored by all who knew him. Tilda met him, initially upset at him, but began to form a close relationship over time. However, he was killed in an event known as the Great Ocean War. His death left a hole in the hearts of many, and his legacy would not be forgotten. It is in ill taste to invoke his name and to do so in front of a demon will surely cost your life. Element- Fog. Tilda is a demon.

Information-

One of the most defining features of an angel is the ring around their wrist. This is called the Ring of Revelation, and it contains a horrible power. When an angel is killed, the ring will explode, creating an enormous bomb. The source of the explosion is unknown, but it is extremely deadly. Tilda witnessed one going off firsthand, and the devastation it brought was traumatizing. Tilda is an angel.

Next Chapter- Number 13- (Carnage)

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auroracalisto · 3 years

Text

and now they know

summary: a continuation to if only they knew. after years of therapy and being alone, bucky convinces steve to return the infinity stones. word count: 2.4k words warnings: therapists, depression, possible alcoholism, trouble sleeping, steve’s not eating, references to reader’s suicide, canon divergence, steve possibly has suicidal thoughts, endgame references (tony’s death, the snap, things like that), gn!reader, emotionally abusive relationship, again, peggy is a manipulator, suicide note a/n: i hurt my feelings multiple times with writing this. thank you, @hellotvshowtrash for being my first reader and making sure everything made sense. omg.

READ PART ONE HERE.

[2023]

His everlasting nights were filled with alcohol, up until the point it no longer did anything for him. His mornings were filled with sleepless fits against his comforter. His long afternoons were filled with Bucky trying to get him to eat. The evenings consisted of him passing out on the couch, getting just enough sleep that his super-soldier body would practically regenerate itself to its former glory. And despite all of his best attempts to ruin his body, to destroy what little he had going for him, nothing was working.

For ten years, the super-soldier serum just watched, laughing at his pitiful attempts to disappear from the world. All anyone else could do was watch as Steve's mental health continued to fight him on anything and everything.

Ten years of being awake and without the one thing that could have made everything better was hard – and then, Tony died, while saving the rest of the world. His friend was gone, and his heart could only take so much damage before it completely wasted away to nothing. He was surprised nothing bad had already happened to him, considering how antagonistic his every move was.

He couldn't do anything right, and he most definitely felt as if everything he was doing would backfire sooner or later. Dr. Esparza tried her hardest to try and ease his pain.

"You weren't aware of what was going on, Steve. It wasn't your fault for the things that happened," she had told him during one of their many sessions. "Often, victims of a manipulator will only see how they had been manipulated after the fact. For you, Steve, I imagine it's easier for you to see this, especially after your stent in the ice. But you cannot blame yourself for something that you could not control."

Steve had been lucky that his therapist had lived through the snap. Without her, Steve would have easily been pushed off the deep end... especially when during the snap, he lost Bucky, again. Completely and utterly alone with the thoughts of a despondent soldier. His therapist was his saving grace.

"It was out of your control, Steve," Dr. Esparza said. "There isn't anything you could have done."

But there was so much more than Steve had needed to do. He needed you to know how much he loved you. He needed you to know how sorry he was for being with Peggy instead of you. He needed you to see that he would have done anything for you, even when he was blinded by his manipulator. And yet, he couldn’t do any of that. You were gone, and everything was because of him. It was all his fault, and he would continue blaming himself no matter what his therapist said. Because even though she was good at what she did, she could never get through his thick skull enough to convince him that his actions were warranted.

When Bucky came back, Steve bounced back to a somewhat normal demeanor. But he wasn't the same – anyone could see that. Bucky knew that.

Bucky watched him, day after day, become a shell of the man he knew. His laugh was gone, his eyes glazed over as if someone had painted him with a new set of oil paints. His forming wrinkles weren’t just laugh lines anymore - they were signs of worry, loss of hope, a perpetual frown that never left his face.

And when the moment came that someone needed to return the infinity stones, Steve went into a state of disregard. He stayed to himself, trying not to be put up to the task.

It was Bucky who had come to him, telling him his idea.

"What if you go back?" Bucky asked, watching his friend with kind eyes.

Steve sighed, looking up from the journal Dr. Esparza made him keep, especially at times he felt as if he needed to grab another bottle.

"What are you talking about, Buck?"

Bucky sat down beside him, slapping a hand on his back. "Go back in time. After returning the infinity stones, you could... well, go back to [Your name]."

"[Your name] is dead. There's nothing to go back to," Steve frowned, a sour look appearing on his face.

Bucky's eyes softened. Steve was thick-headed at times, but maybe it was your absence that made him so utterly close-minded.

"You could go back in time, just before... just before it happened, Steve. You could save them, and," Bucky stopped, leaning back in his seat. "You could save them and save yourself. It's a win-win, isn't it?"

Steve's motions stilled and he stared down at his journal far longer than he should have. He slowly looked up at Bucky, a confused expression overtaking him.

"What?"

"You heard me, Cap," Bucky smiled softly at his friend. "You could go back and make it right. Tell them how you feel. Let them know."

"Let them know," Steve exhaled. The heavy-hearted man sat there, on the verge of tears. And yet, he looked up at his lifelong friend, knowing that he would be heartbroken if he left.

Bucky chuckled softly at the sight. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," he said. "They needed you more. They... they still need you. This time travel shit is confusing as hell, but... that means you can go back to them. You can save yourself, and you can save them."

"You know I'm gonna worry about you, Buck," Steve began, forlorn with grief. "I'd have them, but I'd lose you. Are you really okay with that?"

"We've had our fun, Cap," Bucky smiled. "You deserve to be happy, once and for all. You deserve that love [Your name] could've given you."

He choked out a soft sob, pressing the back of his hand to his lips. He cleared his throat abruptly, keeping his noises at bay. "And [Your name]? How would they ever forgive me? I'm... I'm the reason they die. Why would–"

"–stop it right there, Steve," Bucky said, watching him carefully. "They died because you were gone. Because no matter what, they were lost without you. And... maybe it will take them time to heal. Time to return to who they once were. But... so will you, Cap. So will you."

The dewy-eyed man let out a sigh and he shut his eyes, frowning. "You... you know you just signed my life away, right? I might be dead by the time 2023 comes around again..."

Bucky chuckled softly. "I'm counting on it, Cap. You're gonna have such a good life. But you gotta act fast. You need to make your decision now, and you need to get to the lab."

Steve began to smile. "I... I'll do it," he said. "If I don't, I know I'll regret it."

Bucky grinned and patted his back. As Bucky stood, Steve quickly got to his feet and brought his best friend into a tight embrace.

"Thank you," Steve said, mustering up the courage to just walk into the lab.

"No problem," Bucky replied, hesitantly hugging his friend back. "You know, Steve, wouldn't that mean this is the end of the line?" he grinned.

Steve pulled back, rolling his eyes. "I guess it is, Buck. I guess it is."

Steve did what he needed to. He returned the stones to their rightful places, making sure not a speck of dust was out of order.

The man still didn't understand how time travel worked, or if his existence in the past would have some kind of negative impact. Scott made sure to scare him shitless one night after a discussion on whether or not time-travel movies were true to their word. Steve assumed that now, Scott would know exactly how Steve affected their timeline if he did at all.

And with one final sweep of his second to the last area, Steve took in a deep breath. The air was crisp and calm, giving him a sense of security he didn’t know he needed. But that was enough. It was enough for now. He looked down at his wrist, and finally, he went back to 1945.

[October 1945]

The saturnine man was overwrought with the idea that you might turn him away.

It was two months before you had taken your life in his timeline. He could only hope that you were not too far gone to give him a cold shoulder, feigning memory loss, indifference, or just completely turning him away because of everything that he had done. He knew his speculations were only that - but he couldn't help from feeling that way.

But he took in the words of Dr. Esparza: "Manipulators care little for your well-being. Their goal is to seize power over everything you are. Over everything you stand for. They'll take away your relationships, even when you do not realize it. Your actions aren't an excuse, Steve, but they were justified. Do not let your mind confuse Peggy's beliefs with your own."

Do not let your mind confuse Peggy's beliefs with your own.

That was it.

Years of therapy had led him to this very moment.

Years of rehabilitation and spending time with Bucky led him to this very moment.

There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he was supposed to be there.

The chill of the autumn wind ran up his spine - or maybe it was just the anxiety that coursed through his veins. His knuckles just barely hovered over your home's door.

What if you weren't home? What if something had happened because he was there, instead of his normal timeline? What if everything would go wrong? What if you didn't want him, and he was stuck there for the rest of his life, alone?

Do not let your mind confuse Peggy's beliefs with your own. Do not let your mind confuse Peggy's beliefs with your own. Do not.

He repeated his therapist's mantra in his head. And finally, after a breath filled his aching lungs, his knuckles thumped against the door. Momentarily, his hand froze just over the wood before he quickly took a step back, his heart threatening to jump from his ribcage. With the racing of his mind and the fearfulness seeping through his bones, he closed his eyes.

Steve only opened them again once he heard your door unlock. The door opened to a galvanizing sight - you. Tears of relief sprung to his eyes. You were alive. You were alright. Steve's brows knitted tightly together as he watched your bewildered face.

You placed one foot in the doorway, dumbfounded by the man standing right in front of you. The Steve you knew. The Steve who wasn't gone. He wasn't at the bottom of that icy ocean. He was standing there, right in front of you.

His name left your lips, a lament of all your pent-up frustrations. All of your anxiety, all of your stress left with that one little word - the name that had once brought you so much comfort. The same name that had caused so much discomfort at the same time. The past few months had been difficult... but that could change with the man standing in front of you. Maybe over time, it would get better. But for now, you allowed that sliver of hope to stick itself in the center of your heart. You allowed yourself to welcome this man back into everything that you were.

Steve lurched forward, suddenly taking you in his arms. You quickly returned the gesture, your arms wrapping around his torso. As you cried in his shirt, Steve's hand gently pressed against the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair.

"[Your name]," he began, his own tears quickly following his voice.

"You're here," you interrupted him. "You're really here, Steve. I..."

Steve chuckled softly, his chest rumbling against your head. You pulled back to look up at him, disbelief painted on your face. He looked different. But this was still your Steve. You knew it.

"How?"

"It's a long story," Steve softly said.

"I have time," you said, sniffling. "I have so much time."

You would have to be sure to throw away the drafted letter you made not too long before Steve knocked on your door. You didn't need it anymore. Not when he stood there, without Peggy, and without your dreams bothering you about his death. He wasn’t dead. He wasn’t gone. You knew he was there, right in front of you.

"[Your name], I..." he began, biting his lip. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I should have never been with Peggy. I thought... I thought you would never..."

You huffed through your nose, a bit of a soft laugh following. "You have no idea how much I understand, Steve. I knew you loved Peggy. I'm... I'm sorry that I gave up on trying to tell you," you said, rubbing your tears away.

Steve stopped you halfway, opting to use the pads of his thumbs to wipe the rest of your tears away.

"I never loved Peggy," he admitted to you.

You watched the man, an expression impossible to interpret crossing your features.

"I never loved Peggy," he repeated. "She... well, like I said. Long story. But... but [Your name], it was always you. It has always been you."

You couldn't help your smile.

"[Your name], the secrets I have held in my heart... they were far harder to hide than what I initially thought. I can only wish that I would have acted on them sooner," he said.

You looked at him with narrowed eyes, recognizing his words immediately. Your drafted letter had the same exact words. Well, maybe not exactly - but close enough. You parted your lips to speak, but you saw that longing look deep within Steve's eyes. It must have been part of his long story. You took in a deep breath, relaxing your face.

"I think I'm ready for that story, Steve," you said, taking his hand in yours.

"You have no idea how ready I am for you to hear it," he said, allowing you to lead him inside of your house.

He never had to look back, again. From now on, Steve only had to look forward - there was nothing left in his life to remind him of what he could have done. Because he did it. He did what he needed to do. And now, you knew exactly how he felt.

You knew it.

And he knew it, too.

please comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! reblogs are the best way to help creators get recognition. feedback is always welcome.

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astrologanize · 3 years

Text

2021 for the ascendants

aries ascendant: man, it’s like you’ve forgotten what you want for the past few years but you’ve been trying with all your might to run through a list of desires with the hope that eventually something will provide you with contentment. worry not, you will be met with situations that highlight your principles so that you are able to decipher what it is that brings you oneness. ask yourself if the company you keep is meeting expectations and if there are behaviors you’ve been allowing, but more importantly, ask yourself if you are leading by example and what you are leading with. this is a time for you to make sure that you are taking the proper initiative towards your own fulfillment, if you’re feeling a disconnect then maybe you should seek for an understanding of the objective; how can you expect others to meet expectations if you aren’t doing the same for yourself? why are you tolerating what you shouldn’t have to? it’s time to up your ambition and strive for resolution by making sure that you are setting yourself up for greatness. “if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything”

taurus ascendant: life has been a slippery slope for the past couple of years, the way life can change in the blink of an eye and the way we can get carried away without intending to is something you’re awfully familiar with by now. you’ll feel like you’re getting somewhere, you figure things are on the up ya know, and then of course something totally stops you in your tracks and it makes you question yourself - which has only made your taurus ascendant self clam up harder buuuut you’ve been trying to process it. you will be met with situations that allow you to reap the benefit of your efforts. it is time for you to go after what you want, this is prime manifestation time so if you are desiring change to circumstances make sure you are working towards it and utilizing the power of affirmation. if you don’t have a job then i would strongly advise this as a time to obtain one or attempt to obtain one; if you do have a job/are in a career then expect there to be change that is ultimately positive for you even if it may not seem like it at the time.

gemini ascendant: you guys have been on a mission of self-discovery through the numerous voids we utilize to dissolving other parts of ourselves, i’m getting very “cranes in the sky” by solange - “i tried to drink it away, i tried to put one in the air, i tried to dance it away, i tried to change it with my hair” (etc. read the rest of the lyrics if you’d like!) sometimes in us getting caught up in excessive behavior we’re able to understand that there’s a bigger issue at play and we’re acting from a place that is without authenticity. you will be met with situations that reveal the answers that you’ve been searching for and your perspective will begin to breakdown and reform. this year you should try to think before you speak, in fact, let your actions speak for themselves so that you don’t have to start running off at the mouth. absorb and filter through the information that you have so that you are leading with the facts; no more following unreliable curiosities, bouncing back & forth, and wallowing in careless behavior.

cancer ascendant: for a while you’ve had to take a hard look at family, support systems, what you bring the to the table, and how you can find liberation for yourself in relation to these things. it’s been easier for you to fall into a pity party because you’ve had to deal with and be met with responsibility in a new way, a way that has showed you where you’re needing to grow up, and this can make you want to sink further into your shell with all your vices of comfort (those ‘security blankets’ can be so pesky). you will be met with situations that can soften out your old ways and in doing so provide you with a chance to have a legitimate regeneration. finding acceptance and embracing vulnerability at it’s most candid is how you will find your footing. this is a time to try to re-evaluate your patterns of behavior so that you can work on creating new, healthier habits for yourself so that you are able to lay down those roots of security that you long for. you have been receiving the tools you need and all you have to do is utilize them instead of trying to shield up and be overly defensive.

leo ascendant: i feel like life for you has kind of felt like someone took you out of your home, drove you to a forest in the middle of nowhere and dropped you off with the bare necessities and said, “okay, now figure out your way back.” thankfully you are getting a groove back for yourself and taking on a new outlook of the hindrances in your life. you will be met with situations that make you reconsider the way you’ve been carrying yourself, what you’ve been allowing, and the situations that you have been placing yourself in. it’s time for you to be more selective and imagine what you want for your life, what is your ‘dream life’? - answer this question and start taking the steps to getting there, decide what isn’t aligning with this dream, what you need to pull back from, and what is worth the effort. if you have family or a support system then examine your relationship with them - are they holding you back or are they willing to work on things with you and vice versa because it could be you who is needing to be more deliberate with people. if your home (life) isn’t ideal then find a way of to move elsewhere or renovate your space by getting rid of what has no use in your life so that you can add or rearrange accordingly.

virgo ascendant: ah, attachments and feeling withdrawn, dissatisfied, ineffective are issues that you have been dealing with but this year you will be tending to the source of this by learning how to keep momentum. though you have been putting in effort, it’s you working harder and not smarter because you’re working from a place of inadequacy instead of working from a place of ingenuity. along with working harder and putting in unnecessary effort is you nitpicking to the very last crumb when really this is you just, again, being dissatisfied with where you are in life. you will be met with situations that force you back down to earth and emphasize what it is that you have been evading or how you’ve been evading. this is a time to make the transitions that you’ve been yearning for, this is not a time for waiting things out, if you want something then you need to act on it. you’ve been in your head in a very unhelpful way, you’re like “nope, this won’t work for me because xyz, i can’t do that because of abc, this is too wrong, this isn’t lmnop enough, blah blah blah” and it’s been excuse after excuse. get out of your own way and revise!!! make the best with what you have!!!

libra ascendant: gosh, why has everything felt like it’s been crumbling away? things are supposed to come together, not fall apart, right? as of late your efforts have felt as though they’ve been in vain - other people aren’t taking to you, you’re not attracting what you want, and everything has felt unfair. this balance beam has been feeling anything but balanced! you will be met with situations that bring you back to the notion that what we attract is based around what we’re putting forth. have you ever pointed the finger at yourself? are there any issues that could be stemming for you? maybe it’s you who is needing to learn how to keep yourself in check. after all this crumbling away you should be able to start piecing together the leftover fragments to gather an understanding of what life has come to be. omg i just envisioned the mulan scene: “when will my reflection show who i am inside” - this is your mulan moment!!! negativity has clung and been projected from you in recent years and it’s on you to mend those behaviors and in doing so your paths will narrow down, the indecision will cease, and you’ll see where you can go, where you’d want to go.

scorpio ascendant: feeling as though you’ve missed something is not something you’re that familiar with because you like to think you have awareness but unfortunately recognition has not been your strong suit as of late. you’ve reached that “who am i?” stage of rock-bottom and the “what in the hell am i even doing?” but what a year 2021 will be for you in terms of being able to end certain cycles, which is a pretty major thing for your ascendant. you will be met with situations that force you to gather your bearings and revise your demeanor, which can be a nerve-wracking thing for someone who doesn’t like to adhere to what they would consider the follies of others. it’s a time for openness so lessen your grip and consider the possibilities rather than feeding into your sensitivities and fixations. how can you transform if you’re too busy digging yourself in deeper? the way scorpio is able to bring together both boldness and vulnerability is what you should be striving for, the self-sabotaging is for the other birds - you’re a Phoenix!

sagittarius ascendant: i extend my deepest condolences for the past couple of years but you’re starting to get a better idea about the part that you play in matters and what you’re needing to improve upon so that you can find a direction, or better direction, in your life. hopefully you have been paying heed to the areas in your life that have accumulated to the point of no return and are planning a big ol’ yard sale because it is time to bring back some decency. you will be met with situations that test your ability to make the right choices/decisions by infringing upon your lifestyle. this is a time to explore inwardly and address the emotions that you’ve kept tucked away, seeing as your decisions are too often dictated by these unturned emotions. you’ve done enough wandering by now, these upcoming days should be about you tying up loose ends and bettering the circumstances you currently have so that you don’t feel the need to flee. don’t let things go unexpressed this year because this baggage is what is hindering you and freeing yourself of this as much you possibly can would be in your best interest.

capricorn ascendant: ah, those dark feelings of being misunderstood and having a chip on your shoulder because let’s be honest, you’ve been having an identity crisis and haven’t been the most reassuring person to have around. all i’m hearing is “it’s my life!” and envisioning a person who is refusing to be told what to do, we get it - you think you’re above cooperation. you will be met with situations that challenge the security within yourself and in your life through having to face your own inability to properly articulate yourself to others. it’s time for you to take on the mindset of a novice. everything you’ve established or think that you’ve established? yeah, leave it at the door. try your best to pretend that you know nothing and that the world is brand new because it’s your own preconceived notions that are clamming you up. other people won’t be receptive to you if you’re not being receptive to them. not everything is about standing on the mountain or being ready to die on a hill, you should be enjoying the process and experimenting and considering alternatives because that’s how you find what works.

aquarius ascendant: so you guys have totally recoiled into yourselves to the point of being lost within, huh? i just know y’all have been going full weirdo and doing shit that probably even you can’t grasp because it’s been coming from such a subconscious place. once you’ve hit a low point it’s easy to become a bitter betty and partake in not the greatest of coping mechanisms because you’re feeling alienated from yourself. there is a reason for this though - you have unacknowledged feelings! have you had any regrets or lingering emotion towards people or towards situations? perhaps these are stifling your ability to feel present. you will be met with situations that turn you inside out by taking away the option of preparing yourself so that there’s no time to go robotic about it. this is a time for you to revel in activity, get out of your ~woe is me, nobody wants what i have to offer~ and start showcasing your abundance! give for the sake of giving, have fun with your generosity, try to tap into that aquarius energy of playful but well-intentioned nonchalance.

pisces ascendant: well, you have been trying to work on your celestial flow and have dove deeper into your visions and idealisms for life but your moods have never been more easily swayed. these have not been the sort of tides that you have cared to ride because they don’t lead anywhere! they crash and dissolve, crash and dissolve, crash and dissolve - when will they carry you somewhere you’d like to go? your escapisms and illusions have been getting the better of you and floating is a pretty accurate way to describe where you’re at. you will be met with situations that question/alter your reality and reveal to you what you’ve been overlooking. i imagine it as your *record scratch* *freeze frame* “yup. that's me. so you're probably wondering how I got myself into this situation.” moment. it’s time for you to gently pull back and take note of what you’re investing your energy into and what this has been producing in return. your energy is best left being funneled into yourself this year so that you can thoroughly examine where you’ve been pigeonholing yourself; in you examining such you will be able to tap into your intuition in a way that you have not been able to before, it’ll be like unlocking a new level of your own consciousness.

#2021

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griffintail · 3 years

Note

I know you write about parental stuff for a lot of characters in the Dream SMP, but I was wondering if you could write something for Quackity?

I’ve seen some writers write about Philza finding a winged child with their wings clipped, and since everyone seems to headcanon Quackity as a duck hybrid with wings that were clipped by Shlatt during his presidency, I thought it would be interesting to see how Big Q would react to finding someone did something similar to a child.

Plus I just like the thought of him as Papa Duck, and calling his kid “Duckling”. It’s just really adorable, okay? I’m in a fluffy mood, and there’s ducks/ ducklings in my yard all the time, so needless to say I’ve grown to really like ducks over the years.

Ducklings are so cute!

However, this went a bit more angsty than planned...I still hope you enjoy it! There is fluffy parts in there!

Duckling

Pairings: Parental! Quackity x F! Child! Reader

Warnings: Blood, Harm done to a child, Implied Past Abuse, Wounds, Angstish

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was any other day in New L’Manberg.

Quackity woke up, tended to his wounds to make sure they healed properly, changed into a clean outfit, then walked out of his home with his usual smile. He was able to have usual banter with his friends, laughing a true laugh making him feel relief each time as he didn’t have to hold anything back. Going to have his daily meeting with Tubbo and the rest of the cabinet was when his day changed drastically.

He was walking to the building when he saw a small sagging figure. Straightening up, he carefully went over.

“Hello?”

The figure looked up and he froze seeing the pain-filled face of a little girl. She stared for a moment before starting to fall.

“Help…be free…”

Her eyes closed as she fell to the ground and Quackity quickly rushed forward and caught her. As he did, he winced at the wet feeling as he held her back.

“Oh please.” He muttered before carefully moving her in his arms.

His blood boiled as he went pale.

The back of their shirt was soaked completely in blood and he could easily tell that she was still bleeding.

“Shit.” He scooped her up completely.

He ran as fast as he could to the meeting building, bursting through, scaring everyone inside.

“Quackity, you’re la—” Fundy started.

“What the hell is that?!” Ranboo jumped up seeing the blood-soaked shirt that was starting to coat Quackity’s hands.

“She’s losing blood fast,” Quackity said, putting the girl on the table. “I need help.”

Fundy rushed to grab potions as Tubbo took off his jacket, Ranboo shuffling next to Quackity as he took the little girl’s shirt off.

“Is that—” Ranboo gripped onto the front of his shirt as the other two eyes went wide looking at Quackity.

“She’s losing blood!” Quackity snapped at all of them and everyone worked past their shock to help him.

On the little girl’s back were two large wounds, very similar to the ones on Quackity’s back. He couldn’t think about it though, she was losing blood and he couldn’t let his anger control him at this moment.

Everyone worked quick and by the end, the potion had slowed down the bleeding enough for Ranboo to close up the wounds and cease the bleeding. Finally, they could all breathe as they stared at the little girl, who they had wrapped in Fundy’s jacket.

“Someone did that to her.” Tubbo finally said, the weight crushing the room.

“…Doesn’t matter anymore,” Quackity spoke up. “She lives in L’Manberg now and won’t see whoever did it again. She’s free.”

“She’s a kid Quackity, someone’s going to have to take care of her.” Fundy reminded him. “And what if she has parents—?”

Fundy couldn’t get out another word before Quackity shouted. “If she does, where the hell were they when the monster did this?! If she does have parents, they just lost their rights as parents.”

He felt the wounds on his back ached as he remembered the day, he lost his wings, his jaw clenching before he took a deep breath.

“I’ll take her. I know how to take care of her wounds and I’ll be able to help her.” Quackity finally told them.

“Are you sure?” Tubbo asked carefully.

“Positive.” He nodded with confidence.

He didn’t know what he was doing really when he came home and laid the little girl down on his bed for now. It was all a mystery really but he did believe that no one besides him could take care of her right. They had something horrible that connected them but he was hoping to help her through the pain better than he had dealt with it.

From there, he worked on making his home a bit tidier, really trying to keep his mind busy from the anger he felt to whoever did this to her. If he ever found out who did this, there’d be no mercy. As he was putting away a few potions’ bottles, he heard a small squeak and he went back to his room. The little girl was sitting up, face screwed up in pain.

“Hey, kid,” Quackity said quietly and she looked at him startled. “It’s ok, I’m the guy you ran into remember?”

She thought for a moment before nodding as he nodded as well grabbing a regeneration and health potion.

“A few friends and I healed and stitched you, you’ll need to take it easy for a long while so you don’t irritate your wounds or open them again. You mind if I put a bit of these on them to help them heal?”

“What are they?” She muttered.

“This is a regeneration potion; it will help your wounds close a bit easier so it won’t take months for them to close. This is a healing potion; it will help with the pain and keep you from getting sick because of your wounds.”

She stared at the shining liquids before slowly nodding again. “Ok.”

He came up behind her and lifting the jacket, reminding himself to return it to Fundy, before carefully first pouring the regeneration on the wounds. She winced and whimpered in pain.

“Yeah, I know kid. It’s going to hurt for a while.” He mumbled as he finished on the other one as quickly as he could but making sure it got done before using the health potion. “This should help a bit.”

“How do you know?” She asked curiously as she winced again.

He paused before putting the jacket down. “It’s a long story. Now you’re probably starving. Let’s get some food.”

It was a lot to process in a short amount of time, but, process Quackity did.

To start, Quackity made a spare room he had into her room. He set her up a bed to start and said, whatever else she wanted in there, he’d figure out. After establishing a space for her, he got to know her a bit better past the wounds on her back. Her name was (Y/N) and she was nine years old and she ran away from home. She liked books but she also liked to run around outside.

Knowing that Quackity asked to borrow more simple books from Ghostbur and would let her run around close by as he’d do his daily days. He tried to make her happy and she often was, the small shell she had breaking when around him. Slowly, but surely, she loved to follow him around and enjoyed talking with him, to which people would joke calling her his little duckling.

He supposed that was where the nickname came from as he had started to call her that after a few short weeks of her living with him.

It was a bit awkward for him to transition into taking care of two people instead of one for a while but he eventually got the hang of that too. With that, he also transitioned his days differently. In the early morning, he’d take care of his wounds before helping her with hers a couple of hours later.

The two had a bit of an unspoken rule. He never asked what happened to her wings if she didn’t ask how he knew how to take care of her wounds.

It changed though when he was doing the daily potion ritual. She had accidentally slept on her back and irritated her wounds a bit so it took a bit longer than usual. With him spending so much carefully taking care of the wounds, she wanted to talk about them.

“My dad took my wings away.” She muttered and Quackity froze in his work. “They were a lot like mommy’s…he took them away so I stopped looking like mommy…”

He was trying to keep his breathing under control as his thoughts went wild. He was hoping that maybe, as horrible as it was, that she was alone and some cruel person out in the world had done it. Yet, it was her father and it infuriated him so much, that he wanted to hunt this bastard down. However, …

(Y/N) sniffled and he pulled her shirt down before sitting next to her, putting his arm around her.

“Hey, little duckling, you don’t have to worry about him anymore. He’s not your dad if he did something like this to you. I’m sorry he took them away from you, I know wings are very special.”

“They were fluffy.” She murmured as tears started to streak down her face.

“I bet they were. If I could get them back for you, I would. Instead, though, we’ll live like this and smile on the ground because even without any wings, we’re still pretty special.” He told her, rubbing her arm.

He promised he’d destroy the man that use to be in her life, but today…

She hugged him and he squeezed her back.

Today was all about her.

Weeks passed and Quackity was smiling as (Y/N) ran ahead, bouncing as she looked back at him.

“Come on papa duck! I want to see the new books!”

“I’m coming, you’re just too fast duckling.” He put a hand on his chest dramatically.

She giggled as she turned around, going to where Ghostbur was waiting outside the entrance to the sewer. The ghost eagerly showed the little girl the new books he had “found” and Quackity merely stood to the side, pleased with the excitement (Y/N) had coursing through her. Ghostbur lent her one of the books and Quackity nodded to him.

“Thanks, Ghostbur.” Quackity waved as he walked off with the little girl.

He never thought he’d be doing something like this in his life, but he didn’t mind. It was a nice change of pace.

Ghostbur smiled as he watched them walk off. They were always so adorable together, even with the black transparent wings on both of them. As they walked away, one of the wings was wrapped around (Y/N) as her tiny fluffy ones flapped in excitement. Very lovely.

#dreamsmp x reader #quackity x reader #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt fanfiction

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katytheinspiredworkaholic · 3 years

Text

WIP Wednesday Thursday

Title: Extraordinary

Pairings: HotchReid (side pairings Morcia, WillxJJ, others in flirtation)

Summary: League of Extraordinary Gentleman/Vampire AU;

Within the FBI there is a specialized team full of an elite selection of people. Unique individuals with very particular skill sets. And their job is to take the unusual cases: the ones that need to not only be solved, but are undetermined if the unsub is human, or something else entirely.

In a world filled with Vampires, non-human creatures, and subspecies unknown, there is only enough information to have them vaguely regulated. Rules that are so easily, and violently broken, all while hidden in plain sight among the unsuspecting public. Unrivaled for eons.

That’s where the BAU comes in.

Official Posting Date: Now posted on tumblr and Ao3, Click Here

Links: (Masterpost) (Snippet 01) (Snippet 02) (Snippet 03) (Snippet 04)

(TW/CW: This is pretty tame, Emily is just a little intense and eager because Spencer is... well, Spencer, and when she realizes all he can do? Oh she is chomping at the bit. Some trance-like things and witchy stuff and Hotch being territorial without being able to admit it.)

(the story so far/what you need to know for this clip at least: this takes place in chapter 02, what you will all see on Saturday evening, and this version is insanely unpolished (I’m about to go through and fix it up and give it a good make-over) but basically this is the first time Spencer is meeting Emily Prentiss and it makes... an impression. Also, Emily has been at the BAU for about 0.2 seconds and Hotch is already done with her. The sibling energy I love to see. It’s also hella long, as an apology for missing last week and being a day late. All you’ve missed is Spencer about ran into Emily turning a corner and she saved him from spilling his case files and coffee all over the floor. Now they are talking)

–

“I apologize, I thought you were an intern or still in the academy.”

“It’s alright, everyone does,” Spencer says without taking offense. He wouldn’t have gotten where he was or lasted very long if he did; however, if he had a nickel for every time someone had been surprised by his age, he’d be as rich as Father Rossi. His full hands actually aids him as he mentions, “I don’t usually shake hands with people, so don’t think me rude. I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.” He offers her a smile in exchange, and it is mirrored on her face just as her surprise kicks up another notch.

“Doctor, my my I am in for a trip on this team, aren’t I?” she laughs, and it’s a melodic thing that stretches over an expanse of time and history. Ballrooms in Russia and palors of France, Elizabethan and the roaring 20’s and everything in between all rolled into one. He’s not sure how he sees it, an impossible thing, but he can read it like a book and that must have something to do with what she is. “Emily Prentiss, it is a remarkable pleasure to meet you Dr. Reid. Now, I have to ask--” her tone is so charming and playful and probing he barely notices the nuance, “And I’m sure it’s taboo around here, but I have to know -- your regeneration process. Tell me what it is or what you do. You look so young.”

“I am young,” he states simply, finally stunned by a question he’s not usually asked.

“Yes, yes, we all can’t be a thousand years old like your fearless Vampire leader,” she waves off and Spencer’s eyes widen because… he hadn’t known Hotch was that old. Sure he’d said he’d been alive for the better part of a millennia, but he always said it like a hyperbole. A turn of phrase that’s off by a couple centuries. But --

A thousand years old.

That would put him…

God, that would put him alive, as a human, just before the start of The Crusades.

“Oh, did he keep that to himself? Oops, my bad. Pretend you don’t know. Anyway -- so are you a Shifter? Or use a particular spell? Oh, or is it a curse? I’m fascinated by curses, I don’t use them often myself but the rigidity of terms using a power so chaotic is just such a fun juxtaposition that I--”

“No, no, I’m… normal, human,” Spencer interrupts her, still the smallest bit shell-shocked, but now connects a few dots himself as she speaks. Realizes very suddenly that Ms. Prentiss appears ageless because she is ageless. She’s also a Witch. One of the broadest terms for subspecies categories, which really doesn’t do it justice. A Witch could be a number of things. Someone who uses magic and science and the very Earth itself paired with the spiritual planes to do impossible things. Witches are beings so powerful they should be uncategorizable. Something Spencer is fascinated by as well. He’s never met anyone like Emily. “I look young because I am young. I’m 27, I’ve only been with the BAU for the past three years. I’m a little excited to not be the newbie on the team any more,” he tries to joke, but Emily’s gaze has gone distant and sharp all at once.

“You’re only 27? And you’re a doctor?” She asks in clarification, Spencer nodding along each time. “You’ve been a doctor, since becoming an FBI agent?”

“Um, well -- I’m not a medical doctor. I do have three doctorates, though; in mathematics, chemistry, and engineering,” he finds himself shrinking a bit under her intensely interested gaze. “What?”

“Chemistry?” she asks, vaguely more distant.

“That was my first doctorate,” he murmurs back, not sure what has her looking so contemplative.

“You’ve achieved all of this: three doctorates, FBI agent, BAU -- in 27 years?” she questions, a grave yet wondrous sound.

“Technically I did all of that in 15 years. I graduated high school when I was 12,” he manages to do more than mumble, and Emily’s wide-eyed stare has him spewing forth information like it requires an explanation. “I have an eidetic memory, and I can read 20,000 words a minute, and my IQ is 187 so by human standards yes -- I’m a genius, and borderline on the advanced brain developments scale. But I’m still human. Nothing paranormal or extraordinary.”

The pause that follows is palpable.

“Oh,” she says in an exhale, “Oh, you young soul. You have no idea, do you? What you are capable of...” She tilts her head as she steps closer and Spencer is very suddenly aware that he’s not sure she’s blinked since they started speaking about his qualifications. What he can do, how he got to where he is. No one usually shows this much interest, he makes them uncomfortable for reasons he doesn’t always understand.

Emily doesn’t look uncomfortable, she looks… hungry.

“You are so very, very extraordinary. Exceptional, really. Look at all of what you’ve accomplished with just 15 years of life.” That astonished sound again, like she can’t believe her luck--

And then she’s in his space, gaze boring into his, and Spencer can see galaxies in the depth of her eyes. His breath stolen from him and feet rooted to the floor. So he doesn’t step away as she leans just the smallest bit closer, words resonating with echoes across ages.

“Imagine what you could do with a thousand.”

“Prentiss,” the deep voice of Hotch’s monotone (edged in something vaguely aggressive, and more than a little aggravated) breaks through their moment. The trance fading like a fog from Spencer’s eyes. “No recruiting. It’s in your contract.”

“You have such a gift, it’s a shame to waste it,” Emily whispers in a rush as Hotch approaches them from down the hall. More earnest than intimidating, now.

“Prentiss!”

“Think about it,” she winks, and then turns to give Hotch a smile that’s all teeth so sharp she resembles a shark. “Oh, what a sour face. What’s wrong? Were you planning on asking him first? You snooze, you lose.”

“Conference room,” he instructs, pointing the way Spencer had just come. “Team meeting in 20 minutes. Try not to summon anything between here and there.” She sticks her tongue out at him childishly as she leaves, and sends a quirk of a smile Spencer’s direction that shifts her whole expression into something comically entertained. He’s never seen Hotch interact with someone like this, like they were… familiar, even exasperatingly so. The closest in comparison is probably Father Rossi. But this is less like old friends and more like sibling rivalry.

The space Emily had just vacated is suddenly filled with Hotch, an overwhelmingly welcomed presence and it eases the tension out of Spencer’s spine and shoulders that he hadn’t even realized was there.

“Are you okay?” he asks, low and quiet. They’re the only ones in the hallway, but secrecy is a hard habit to break.

Spencer nods, still gaining his bearings once more. “I think so. That didn’t feel like hypnotism. I don’t know what that was.”

“Prentiss doesn’t manipulate minds or the wills of other people,” Hotch tells him, which is soothing if not for the foreboding question of what just occurred. “She doesn’t need to. She can do a lot of things: change her face, her voice, make illusions and talk circles around anyone -- even you.” Spencer looks up to him at that, aware that his level of intelligence is the only thing that keeps him safe from JJ or Hotch’s influence. His mind can’t be bent, or tricked.

“Then what was she doing? I felt compelled but… not against my will. What was that?” he asks, also quiet but much more high in pitch as his confusion turns his voice to a winded sound.

Hotch’s thin, stern frown does nothing to alleviate the apprehension caught up in his chest like a bad cold.

“Possibility,” he states, grim and not liking that Spencer had fallen prey to such a short moment with Emily Prentiss and her promise of what her craft could do for him. Hotch is well aware that Spencer’s gift of soaking up every speck on information he’s given like a sponge isn’t something to let wither and die like so many before him. There’s so much he could do with an infinite life, such as his and Emily’s, but the curse of living forever alone is not something to be taken lightly. And not to be decided by someone who still has so much more life to live unaided by other forces.

However, Emily was right about one thing. Hotch can’t deny that he’s thought about it. More than considered it as a definite possibility.

An offer, all his own.

–

Tagged list so far: @physics-magic, @thaddeusly, @ssa-noa, @ssa-sarahsunshine, @tobias-hankel, @reidology, @mintphoenix

#THIS IS JUST A SNIPPET #it's a very long one as an apology for missing last week and being a day late #and also because it's COOL and I have no self control #Emily and Spencer would be a terrifying duo honestly #Also Emily and Hotch have the best sibling relationship ever #if anyone wants in on that taglist hit me up via ask or comment or rb #the story is posted! Updates on Saturday evenings #Extraordinary #HotchReid #Katyswriting #Katyswip #wip wednesday

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sunlit-squid · 3 years

Note

(simping softness prompts) could i get some “hey, everything's gonna be fine. stay where you are, i'm on my way” or “holy crap, i thought you were dead! never do that to me again!” if you are feeling so inclined? sorry im just in love w ur writing

For those who don't know, my ask box is open. Send me a simping softness prompt, and I'll write a short sbsp ficlet for you. ✰

i'm gonna do "hey, everything's gonna be fine ...", but don't you worry. i will also be doing "holy crap ..." at some point, since someone else requested it.

anyway, thanks for the prompt, and for the kind words! while we're here, i should also say that @wowthwtslame is doing a similar ficlet challenge. their writing is wonderful, so definitely check them out!

also tagging @azumeowth, who requested the same prompt!

ficlet under the cut. thanks again!

The call came in -- loudly -- at around 2 in the morning.

When Squidward rolled over to check his shell phone, the dull blue screen read, simply, “SpongeBrat”, accompanied by a vomit emoji. Sighing, the octopus put his phone on silent and went back to bed. Surely whatever it was the sponge wanted to blabber about could wait until tomorrow. After a decent night’s sleep.

Unfortunately, sleep was hard to come by. Despite having switched his phone to silent, the device’s small blue screen continued to light up repeatedly, like a small, pathetic rave. Every few seconds, the small blue light cast peculiar shadows on the walls of Squidward’s bedroom. Eventually, after thirty minutes of tossing and turning, the cephalopod grabbed his phone to shove it inside the nightstand -- when he caught a glimpse of the screen itself.

43 missed calls. 37 unread text messages. All from “SpongeBrat” Squarepants.

The phone rang again. This time, Squidward picked up.

“Spongebob, do you have any idea what time it is?” snapped Squidward, despite the uncomfortable, worried feeling growing in his stomach. “No? Well, I’ll tell you -- it is two-forty-seven --”

“I-I know, Squidward,” came a small, shaking Spongebob-voice. “I just -- I didn’t know what to do.”

Squidward paused. Well, that was … not the regular Spongebob volume. Or tone. Or pitch.

“Squ -- Squidward?” came the sponge’s soft, sad voice once more. The frycook’s voice was barely audible. There was some sort of loud, constant whooshing happening on the other end, not to mention a weird crackling noise, which made it very difficult to hear. Squidward sighed, wiping a tentacle across his eyes.

“I’m here,” said Squidward. “What’s this about, Spongebob?”

Silence. Then, crying -- and not Spongebob’s usual loud, obnoxious crying. This crying was quiet and gentle, barely decipherable against the loud whooshing on the other end of the line. Squidward sat up then, pressing the phone close to his ear.

“Sponge,” said Squidward, panic rising in his chest. “Sponge, what’s wrong?”

Spongebob sobbed something indiscernible. Then, he stammered, “I’m -- I’m hurt, Squidward. I’m hurt, and … I’m lost.”

Something funny exploded in Squidward’s chest. Before he knew it, the octopus was out of bed, scrambling for his jacket and keys. Gripping his shell phone tight, Squidward asked, “Where are you? What’s going on, Spongebob?”

On the other end of the line, Spongebob snuffled. “I got on the wrong bus,” he explained, in a shaky, uneven voice. “I -- I’m in a place called ‘Deviltown’ now, and the current is so strong, and the signal is pretty bad --” There was that distorted, crackling sound again -- followed by a few more broken whimpers.

Squidward sighed, feeling his hearts crack with every little sob. “Hey, everything’s going to be fine,” he said, stepping out the door and into the cool Bikini Bottom night. “Stay where you are. I’m on my way.”

-0-

Deviltown, it turned out, was several hours away from Bikini Bottom. Squidward’s shell phone indicated the drive not only went straight, but downward -- which was certainly a problem. Oceanic towns grew more and more dangerous the deeper you went, and Deviltown was apparently thousands of nautical leagues under the sea. Wherever Spongebob was, even the sun couldn’t reach him.

Undeterred, Squidward set off on his journey. His boat was constantly maintained, so the cephalopod was certain it could handle the perilous road ahead.

For the first hour or so, the drive was uneventful -- peaceful, even. The streets were smooth and well taken care of, which was good considering the massive tax hike this past year. Squidward even put on some Kelpy G, which certainly helped to soothe his nerves.

Later on, however, the drive got worse. The once well-maintained roads gave way to rickety rocks and slippery sand, with only a few sporadic road signs to get by. Moonlight became sparse, and by the time Squidward reached a vertical road, he had his brights all the way up -- and was still struggling to see.

A nearby rickety sign read “Deviltown, 10 nautical miles downward.” Peering down into the deep abyss, Squidward gulped. Despite his headlights, he still couldn’t see a thing -- just a vast expanse of open blackness.

A tight feeling wound itself around Squidward’s chest. He thought about backing up, turning around, and going straight home. This was ridiculous. Why was he out here, in the wee hours of the morning, chasing after SpongeBrat Squarepants, of all people? The boy had other friends. Certainly one of them would be willing to retrieve him.

Squidward’s tentacle hovered just over the gear stick. That’s when he saw it: in his passenger seat lay Spongebob’s wrinkled little jacket. The sponge must have left it behind the other day, when Squidward (begrudgingly) drove them both home from work.

Squidward’s chest felt hollow, suddenly. He thought of how many times he’d seen Spongebob in that exact jacket over the years.

He thought of never seeing him in that jacket ever again.

Groaning, the octopus switched gears from “Drive” to “Drive, But Downward”, and puttered his way into the deep and black abyss.

-0-

The journey into the inky black was, bar none, one of the creepiest things Squidward had ever experienced. He told himself, repeatedly, that if he just stared straight ahead and focused on the task at hand, then everything would be fine. Still, hearing creepy noises in the darkness (and being unable to see where they came from) was severely unsettling.

After what felt like forever, the vertical road became horizontal once again, and Squidward finally drove into Deviltown. Luckily, the town had the decency to set up some lamp posts, possibly for out-of-towners like Squidward who were unused to the darkness. Still, the lamp posts were few and far between, and there was nobody out and about, giving Deviltown a fittingly creepy vibe nonetheless.

Tense, cold, and worried, Squidward drove further into town, squinting for Spongebob’s bright yellow body. Surely the boy couldn’t be that hard to spot -- he was likely the only vibrant thing down here. Surely --

Oh. Oh, no.

Squidward brought his boat careening to a stop. Clambering out of it, the octopus made his way over to a rickety wooden bus stop, with a flickering lamp post just overhead. On a bench nearby was none other than Spongebob Squarepants: cold, alone, and unconscious. For a moment, a horrible thought passed through Squidward’s head -- is he dead? -- before he saw the sponge’s chest rise and fall, taking slow and steady breaths.

Breathing a huge sigh of relief, Squidward looked up and down the street. No one in sight.

Gently, the octopus leaned down and shook Spongebob lightly. “Hey,” said Squidward, awkwardly. “What are you doing asleep all the way out here? We have work tomorrow, you know.”

Spongebob stirred. In the dim light, Squidward realized the sponge really was hurt -- his usually spiffy shirt and tie were ripped straight down the middle. Beyond the fabric, the sponge’s chest was badly torn up, too, and for some reason, he had not regenerated yet.

Squidward swallowed. “Spongebob?”

The sponge stirred once more. This time, his eyes opened -- and he smiled, weakly. “Squidward,” he slurred, happily. He tried to laugh, then winced, clutching at his stomach and chest. “Squidward, it’s you … you came … ”

“Of course I came,” muttered Squidward, before he could stop himself. “I -- you … ugh, I hate you.”

Scooping up Spongebob, Squidward gently carried him over to the boat, positioning him carefully in the passenger’s seat. The sponge fussed a little about being buckled in, but otherwise, seemed too out of it to complain properly. Taking a deep breath, Squidward got back behind the wheel and started the engine.

“Heheh,” chuckled Spongebob as the boat roared to life. “Vroom-vroom.”

Squidward rolled his eyes and began turning the boat around, back towards Bikini Bottom. “We’re going home now,” he said, with a sigh. “You need to see a doctor for … whatever it was that happened to you.”

Spongebob simply nodded, then fell to his side, leaning all of his body weight on Squidward as he drove. The octopus felt warmth rising to his cheeks, and for once felt grateful for the murky blackness of the ocean void.

Spongebob was mumbling something.

“What is it?” said Squidward. “Are you okay?”

“I …uh … love you, Squidward,” said Spongebob, in a very loopy voice. “I love your big nose, and your paintings, and I wanna … get married, someday. Okay? Can we get married, someday?”

Squidward’s entire face was bright red now. It took everything in him not to just veer in a random direction and crash the entire damn boat. Taking a deep breath, the octopus collected himself. Spongebob was just severely injured, and loopy as a result. He didn’t really mean any of this.

Squidward decided to play along. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, we can get married.”

“Mm,” said Spongebob, chuckling softly. “Can I -- can I wear a dress?”

“Sure,” said Squidward. “Whatever you want.”

“And you’ll … and you’ll kiss me?”

“Mhm,” mumbled Squidward.

“And I can … listen to you play the clarinet around the house … and, and paint with you … and watch your soaps with … you … ”

Squidward looked over. The sponge had fallen asleep, and was snoring loudly. Which was … good. Very good. Excellent, even. That way, they couldn’t talk about marriage or love or any of that absolute nonsense. Now they could just drive forward in sweet silence.

Still, Squidward found himself dwelling over Spongebob’s words far more than he would have liked.

About an hour into the drive home, the octopus glanced over at the sponge, still fast asleep beside him. Fixing his gaze forward, Squidward took a deep breath, clutching the steering wheel in a tight death-grip.

“Spongebob, I …,” Squidward began, shakily. “I love you. I love you, I love you.”

Squidward found that once he started saying it, he couldn’t stop. The words felt good in his mouth, like a massive weight had finally been lifted off his chest.

“I love everything about you,” said Squidward, his three hearts exploding inside his chest. “Your annoying laugh, your stupid singing, all of it. I want to read with you, and garden with you.”

Squidward hesitated, his words floating out into the open water.

“I love you,” said Squidward, one last time. “And I … I don’t know what to do about it. Maybe I’m a coward. I’m sorry.”

Squidward looked over. Spongebob was still fast asleep, snoring away against his arm -- but the smallest of smiles had appeared on his face.

-0-

Squidward woke up in the hospital, seated in a chair next to Spongebob’s hospital bed. The poriferan was wide awake, watching an episode of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy on the hospital television. Of course.

The sponge turned. “Squidward!” he exclaimed, his voice loud and back to normal. “You’re awake!”

“Unfortunately,” muttered the octopus. “How are you feeling?”

“Great!” chirped Spongebob. “Better than ever, actually -- but the doc says I should stick around for a little while, just in case.”

Squidward glanced down. Sure enough, Spongebob’s chest had almost fully regenerated. Thank Neptune. When they arrived at the Bikini Bottom General Hospital early that morning, Spongebob was still in rough shape. The doctor said Spongebob most likely had a run-in with a deep-sea predator, and the attack was too quick and too constant for the poriferan to regenerate. Not to mention there were several lacerations to his vital organs.

Still, sponges were pretty sturdy folk -- and all Spongebob really needed was a long rest in a controlled environment.

Squidward breathed a huge sigh of relief. “Great,” he said, awkwardly. “I, uh. Pay attention next time you get on the bus, alright? So I don’t have to come running after you.”

Spongebob laughed. “Okey-doke.”

The two then sat together in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time. All the while, Squidward wondered if perhaps his stupid, impulsive, not-really-a-love-confession-confession had actually gotten through to Spongebob. His hearts twisted up at just the thought.

“Hey, Squidward?”

The octopus looked up, and was very surprised to find splotches of red decorating the sponge’s cheeks.

“What?” said Squidward.

“My, uh, sea flowers have been dying lately,” said the sponge, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “Maybe you could come by and we could share some gardening tips?”

A brilliant red blush planted itself on Squidward’s face. Then, he cleared his throat, and folded his arms across his chest. “Only if we get to watch a soap afterwards.”

Spongebob grinned. “Deal.”

Squidward found himself grinning, too, despite himself. “Deal.”

References:

“Deviltown” is loosely based off of the Devil Sea, near the Japanese coast.

I will likely be compiling these ficlets into one combined fic on ao3. I originally wasn't going to, but I definitely didn't expect so many requests. So keep an eye out for that, at some point.

#squidbob #spongebob squarepants #squidward tentacles #spongebob #squidward #spongeward #my fics #ask #asks #sunlit-squid

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