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lunarfied · 1 year

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15. WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP ME ? ; talk to me

scaramouche x gn! reader smau

y/n pov; alcohol & drugs (weed) mention, death (not specified) of a family member

looking up like you were told, kuni stood right in front of you. “how did you-“

”you’re more out of it than i thought if you couldn’t hear me walking on the gravel.” his tone was a mixture of playful and making fun of you but all you could do was stare with your mouth slightly open like a fish out of water. maybe it was the weed — or the alcohol — or the fact that it was almost three in the morning — but underneath the direct moonlight (and the few lights placed around the front lawn) kuni looked divine. he was dressed in all black: the zip-up hoodie didn’t do much to cover the sleeveless turtleneck top he had on underneath. how kuni always wore shorts no matter the weather was beyond your questioning but he somehow always made it work. he had a few accessories on as well, a necklace with an amethyst attached to it, a dangly earring accompanied by however many piercings he had on his ears. and his makeup? either it was intentional for the eyeliner to be smudged or perhaps he had been crying too — was that why his nose and cheeks were a little red?

”you done checking me out?” you blinked at his words, laughing nervously as you got to your feet, wobbling while doing so. kuni caught your arm, wrapping his free arm around your waist as he lead you to his car. it was like a flashback of when you two first met and kuni knocked you off your feet, not literally, of course, but it still left you speechless. it was weird to be doing the routine all over again.

”uh, thanks for coming.” you managed to say after getting into the passenger seat and buckling your seatbelt in. you didn’t know if you really wanted to make conversation with him right now but your mind kept replaying his text messages over and over again. for the longest you assumed kuni had fallen out of love with you, moved on to better people and things in life and forgotten about you; but seeing the way he acted and reading his texts… maybe you were wrong.

”told you i’d help if you needed it.” being able to tell his tone apart when he talked was a habit you had developed over the years of getting to know him, while it mostly seemed like kuni was being sarcastic or was uninterested in some way changed when you listened closely to his breathing patterns or how he pronounced certain words. he had mentioned in a conversation once that you were the only person who was ever able to differentiate that, was that still true?

silence followed the rest of the car ride home. if kuni had picked up on your discomfort, he didn’t say anything, opting to focus on driving instead.

arriving at the apartment, you insisted you could walk the way up and he didn’t need to help...

...but that proved futile when you took one step up the stairs and fell flat on your face. kuni couldn’t help but laugh, which sent shivers down your spine — you hadn’t heard kuni laugh like that in years. oh how you missed hearing that sound so much.

“just let me help you.” he held onto your hand as the two of you walked upstairs and inside the apartment. “did you eat?”

”yeah,” you couldn’t stomach the idea of eating or drinking anymore than you did tonight. “i’m fine, i’m just tired.” you sighed and shrugged your jacket off. kuni thought on your response for a second, but was satisfied enough and decided against saying anything else, leading you to your room and opening the door for you.

”well, i’ll be here if you need anything. i don’t know when childe or venti will be back but i’ll probably be up so goodn-“

“wait, kuni,” he paused, looking down at the hand that was grabbing his arm. “can you stay?” you may have been slightly intoxicated... and high, but the look in your eyes showed him how much you had to say to him.

”y/n, that’s a bad ide-“

“oh my g— i’m not asking you to fuck me you idiot,” you put a hand over your face, laughing tiredly, “no, i meant stay to talk to me. i want to talk to you.”

”ah, right...” kuni let you drag him inside your room, taking note on how the flowers he bought for you the other day were sitting neatly in a vase on your desk making him smile. “it wouldn’t be the first time you smooth talked me into sleeping with you.”

you turned red at his words and threw your jacket at his face, “shut up and no peeking.” you said sternly as you stripped out of your party clothes, accessories and whatever else you had to get off and straight into pajamas that were far more comfortable — all the while kuni made sure to respect your boundaries and kept his eyes shut.

”alright, done.” you plopped down onto your plush bed and gestured for kuni to come and sit next to you. he hesitated for a moment, unsure of himself. “i just want to talk, kuni. promise i won’t bite.” you teased playfully which got you a roll of his eyes before he did sit down on the edge of your bed.

”so?”

”sooo…” you played with the hem of your shirt, unsure of where to even start. you felt nervous with him in your room. “you said you could talk about it in person…”

”i said maybe-“

”okay well, we’re here now. so either talk or get out.” you didn’t mean to come off as mean, but kuni and you had been tiptoeing around this topic since, well, it happened — and if he was going to live with you for the foreseeable future, you might as well get that closure you deserved.

kuni shifted on the mattress, letting out a quiet sigh. where would he even start? you picked up on the unease and opened your arms up slowly, a silent invitation for him to come closer. kuni stared, unblinking, debating whether or not this was a good idea before giving in. as much as he acted like a little bitch at times, he was a sucker for physical contact. especially when it came to your touch.

”… do you remember my mom?” kuni asked, resting the side of his face on your chest. you hummed in response, your hand combing through his hair.

”yeah.”

kuni took in a shaky breath and continued, “do you remember… my aunt?”

”yeah..?” you looked down at him with a raised eyebrow, unsure of where this was going, but... you had a feeling you already knew.

kuni's next words were quieter, almost like he didn't want to speak them into existence. ”she... died. the day before i broke up with you.”

oh.

you had met kuni’s family years ago when you first started dating. he was wary of introducing you to them, but apparently they insisted. ei was his mother, yae miko was his step-mother and makoto was his aunt and ei’s twin sister. kuni had always been closer to makoto as opposed to ei since she didn’t really understand how to be a mother at all. though she tried, kuni and ei never met eye to eye. kuni had told you how makoto was like his mother instead of ei, and how most of his early memories were with her instead. you knew how much he cared about her. and... she liked you. she was quite fond of you, actually.

"you're my little kuni's partner? an adorable pair you two make!"

"auntie - please - enough. y/n, i'm so sorry. she's not usually this weird."

"oh, but i am! so you better get used to it if you're sticking around~"

"oh, makoto, enough teasing. come kids, dinner is ready. kuni, ei will be home soon so get ready to introduce y/n to her again."

”i’m sorry, i didn’t know—“

”it’s… fine. i’m mostly over it now.” kuni shifted to look up at you and you noticed the shine of tears in his eyes. reaching down, you wiped those tears away with a soft smile. “ei lost her shit after that. it was horrible at home for a while and i just-“

”i get it.” you stopped him from talking since you noticed how much it was getting to him. losing her was probably too much for him to handle at the time on top of dealing with an upset ei. “you know i would’ve done everything i could to help you back then, kuni.”

”i know, y/n,” kuni closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing the two of you closer while burying his face in between your shoulder and the pillow behind you. “i just wasn’t thinking right. it felt like such a heavy burden for me to carry and your birthday was just around the corner...”

the two of you sat in silence for the next couple of minutes, basking in each other’s scent and comfort. while this newfound knowledge that your breakup didn’t have anything to do with you, it still upset you to know he was dealing with all of this back then and didn’t think you could have helped him get through it. you were supposed to be there for each other.

“i have your doll.”

”what?” kuni’s head snapped up, looking at you with furrowed brows and confusion evident on his face.

”your doll. the one you said you made with makoto.” you gestured with your chin to a shelf by the end of your bed that was hidden by the door when it was open. “i found it in the trash. don’t worry, he’s clean now!”

kuni turned his head and looked towards where you had pointed, seeing the doll sitting on the top shelf. “why?”

”just felt like it.” you lied. you knew the doll was his and you knew how much that little guy meant to him. you couldn’t just let it get thrown away.

”yeah, okay.” kuni obviously didn’t believe you and rolled his eyes making you laugh.

”so,” you started to speak again after a few minutes had passed, “are we… okay now?” it scary to ask, knowing that you were still not over him at all and he was now here — living in the same apartment as you. from the spot that he was laying on, he could feel how fast your heart was beating from asking that question alone.

”yeah,” he let go of your waist and reached for your hand, intertwining it with his. “let’s start over, y/n.” and without giving it a second thought, kuni dipped his head down to capture your lips in a kiss with his.

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A/N long one sorry i have a lot to say hehe: andddd act one is done with that delicious scrumptious immaculate cliffhanger 😈 are they gonna kiss kiss fall in love or kiss kiss miscommunication.... i think u know the answer or else there wouldnt be an act two now i know what ur thinking "luna scara doesnt know raiden makoto in canon?!??!?!?!" oh well!! i dont read the character stories all the way all ik is i wanted angst and makoto the better twin anyway /j lets just pretend for this story ok?? thank u for some reason this was the only chapter i was actually nervous to post ??? what ??????? bro i was fr shaking as i edited this WHATS HAPPENING i think its obv buuuuuut in the flashback, purple = makoto, blue = kuni and pink = yae miko !!

TAGLIST [CLOSED]: @machiroll @raideneiari @mariusvonhangme @inlustris-is-slowly-dying @sakiimeo @ferumie @plinkuro @scaraapologist @baelloraa @bubblesmei @lovelyiez @isa-solasun @lazy-sanns @thenightsflower @divinechicha @rxd-iant @elysiasgf @cerisearan @alwaysmentallyilll @kaoyamamegami @richxelle @monochromaticelliot @kunikuzushiit @thedumboneforsomereason @lordbugs @osamusswife @useless-potatho @tsuyumbrella @orionicchaos @lxry-chxn @twistedrxses @akagism2 @kxr0mi @angryhope @ivylibrary-00 @makilovescofi @mechanicalbeat1 @erosdevil @ghostsaysno @anotherdayanotherobsession @garlicforthewin @oliver-s-worlds @lunavixia @chimsblogg @arizzu @meigalaxy @hydration-is-for-weenies @yuyan @soleillunne @xiaossocksniffer

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iraprince · 1 year

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sorry but through earlier anon i discovered queer trans mentally ill power fantasy and i just want to say thank you. it made me cry. i read the nice messages for a very long time and i just cried bc somehow w my insane mentally ill issues it feels different to read those messages in a game you're playing and thinking "those feelings are the ones your friends have also expressed about you", compared to. your friends actually saying these things to you, even though it had also happened to me. the latter feels weird and hard to understand. it's really hard to grapple with. kind of like seeing the sun? and i wasnt sure getting into the game that it'd actually help me feel better abt being trans bc for some reason a lot of trans media out there doesn't resonate w my own experiences but the way you wrote it made me feel actually validated and understood for the first time in a v v long time. so thank you for turning these feelings you had a long time ago into an experience other ppl could have too.

thank you, and you're welcome. i'm really happy you had that kind of experience with it.

it's weird (in a neutral way) to re-read/re-play that piece of art bc i feel like a completely different person now. i KNOW i wrote it, i remember writing it, but it feels 100% like it was made by someone else. in a lot of ways it was -- like as one example, i don't id as queer anymore, vs the word obviously used to be really important to me. stuff like that, little facets of myself that have flaked and fallen off or transformed or been replaced with other things. (edits and repairs and adjustments to the mech? new paint jobs, mismatched parts, doing the best we can.) the core of it all is still there though -- tired, trans, stubborn and frustrated and thrashing around.

i do feel very proud of that past version of me for managing to make something so kind, because i was in a place at that time where i don't think kindness and optimism came as easily to me as it does now. when i replayed it recently bc i got reminded of it via asks etc i remember feeling kind of gently surprised, bc i don't remember myself being the kind of person who would make something like that. my memory is probably too harsh, as it usually is.

anyway, thank you again, and thank you for hanging in there.

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hikari-ni-naritai · 10 months

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multiples of 3^^

oh god thats so many

3. Do you like to get 100% achievements?

if its something within reach yeah! i have a few games 100%ed. huniepop for one. its actually a dream of mine to one day 100% huniepop in a single run of the game. itd be hard but i believe in myself.

6. Last game you finished?

finished...... uhhh sakura shrine girls. if id beaten that last monster in monster hunter i couldve said that but i failed. oh well

9. A console and/or handheld you’ve never played but would like to try?

i think my cousin had a dreamcast and i was kind of fascinated by the weird controller shape. i dont think theres any games im specifically interested on it but i would like to mess around with one.

12. answered already!

15. answered already!

18. A game you’d like to replay that you haven’t

mmm are there any? ive replayed most of the games i enjoyed enough to play once. i want to finish my 2nd playthrough of ff14 though. im still in stormblood on that.

21. A boss you think is really cool

does rakna-kadaki von monsterhunterrise count. shes not really a boss unless you consider all monsterhunter monsters to be bosses. OH. OH RIGHT FUCK. hephaistos ff14. i love that fight. raid bosses count as bosses for sure. i just redid that one earlier tonight

24. A “Wow” moment of awe

i think the first time i really experienced something like this was the first time i played through twilight princess when you swordfight ganondorf at the end. it was like. such a wildly different experience from the standard like "swing your sword and you'll maybe clang against the enemy and not do damage" like it felt to child emily like a real proper swordfight. i thought it was really cool.

27. already answered!

30. Spyro or Crash Bandicoot?

crash bandicoot babeyyyyyyyyyyyyy there was this guy at my old church who was like a full ass middle aged adult and he was friends with my parents and we'd go over to visit sometimes and he'd let us go up into his weird attic where he just had a ps1 for some reason and me and my brother played crash bandicoot up there a lot. good times. it was a little hot in his house. he lived right on the street where they had community festivals every summer so it was nice to have a base to go back to when we got tired outside. his front lawn was small but it was good to lay in and watch fireworks from. real nice guy. im rambling. crash bandicoot rules

33. Someone has never played a video game before but is open to trying any genre. What game would you recommend as their first?

if im throwing my anxiety out the window, id probably recommend super mario bros the original. if youve never played a video game, it would be really hard to get recommended something with a complex control scheme or unintuitive menuing and shit. so something with just a few buttons and an easy-to-understand goal is probably good for a starting point. im sure theres a lot of platformers like that.

36. What platform do you play on?

pc but i have a lot of old nintendo consoles and a ps4. just in case. its hard to get the gumption for them tho

39. Do games need difficulty sliders?

i think difficulty options would be more doable. its important that games are accessible to people with disabilities that would prevent them from playing on whatever the base difficulty is.

42. Worst game you ever played?

im very easy to please. i remember being very disappointed by various kart racers in my youth though. at least, i played them once and did not play them again. there was an m&m branded kart racer for the wii, and also i found diddy kong racing for n64 to be too slow for my tastes. but also i was a child.

45. Favorite content creator?

settled, the runescape guy who made the morytania-locked ultimate iron man account. i just recently rewatched his 12-hour video compilation of that. i literally came close to crying a couple times. its good.

48. Most satisfying villain death?

i havent killed him yet but theres no way i wouldnt be satisfied with the death of that fucking bastard in tales of berseria. one day im going to kill him. fuck that guy. i would say asahi ff14 bc i hate him with the passion of 10,000 suns but his death was not satisfying. i would like to kill him over again.

51. How often do you skip cut scenes?

never unless ive seen it before. well, except the cutscenes in monster hunter rise for when u go on a hunt for a new monster. i sometimes skp those. but in most cases i wouldnt dare.

54. answered!

57. Ask anything you wish!

lena please u have to give me something for this one. its okay i will provide the question. "whats a game everyone should play no matter what even if they dont think its that good?"

play shining force

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hist0riccemetary · 2 years

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this is a vent post pls don’t judge me it’s literally just a stream of thoughts at 4:30-5AM

i fucking.

i can’t. brain spiraling too bad, can’t take an emergency medicine because i need to be awake in an hour and a half and they’ll knock me out.

i cannot stop replaying all of these things in my fucking head

i reread all that fucking shit you said to me and i wish i could just go fucking numb to it. i cannot believe that i fucking believed you. i still do in a sense. i also literally cannot even go to bed at this hour so i might as well just do my chores. try and occupy myself so i don’t fucking keep ending up crying like the lil bitch i’m acting like.

everyone in my life will slowly become tired of it. they already are, i reckon. i need to learn how to exist alone.

but fuck if i didn’t want to exist with you in the beautiful stupid hypothetical future that we talked about. i never said it back, but you’re my fucking dream too.

and i love you too and i fucking want to just tell you right the fuck now but i can’t. it’s been 9 days and it’s so goddamn weird to not just send you something when i think of you.

honestly this is actually kinda cathartic just writing it down. way more then i expected. i’m trying to live my life for myself but instead i’m literally just trying to stay busy so i can distract my brain. i wasn’t stupid for trusting you, i had every reason to think you were safe. i wasn’t stupid for not seeing the signs that you’re not doing that great. i’m just in too deep now to just drop it like that.

you left me and a few days later you went through our dms and “loved” sweet romantic shit i sent you prior. i don’t understand how to take that at all. i told you goodbye and you wouldn’t say it back. you send me specific joke catered to my interest, don’t acknowledge the fact that you apparently can’t maintain this with me.

i regret not responding but i wanted to make myself take a week. we’ll probably never speak again. i have so many of your things. i sleep with your hoodie every night. when will i stop? when will i stop checking for your name every time i get a text? you’re too proud to try again once you’ve already “reached out” i’d bet. literally just like you’re too proud to just come home even though you’re not in the greatest environment.

i know you’re not doing well. or you definitely weren’t last time we spoke. you literally didn’t have to face this alone, no matter what your brain is telling you. i know what it feels like to self isolate when shit is really really rough in the brain sphere. but i told you i would hold space for you as you worked through this and i meant it. you probably think i’m lying. because i can’t just go back to talking to you daily as “friends.” id answer in a heartbeat if you needed me. but as much as it absolutely hurts to not talk to you, i’m protecting myself from the fact that you (who promised you knew exactly what you wanted) have no fucking idea what you want.

i’m gonna do laundry. fuck it.

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punong-araw · 2 years

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LONELY NIGHTS - LDH

˒ 🌱 ៸៸ kung mang aakit akit ka nanaman, pwede bang sa akin, akin lang? ( If you are going charm someone again, can you only do it to me? )

❲ Lee Donghyuck x Gn!Reader ❳

words : 1.2k | genre : angst | warnings : toxic relationship, cheating | a/n : no this is not new, this is a repost of an old oneshot but i did modify it a little, fixed a little bit of the grammar but it's still shit—also if you recognized this, no you don't 💀.

synopsis ‹𝟹 wherein you find yourself calling him, considering him as your solace even after everything you've been through.

main navi | nct masterlist

11:11 pm, the cabin of the train is almost completely empty carrying only 4 passengers including you. Work got you off late making you sluggish as you ride the train home. You rest your head against the railing beside you and your mind starts to recall the scenes from earlier in the day like it always does.

One memory stood out. Since it’s the one that ruined your whole day before it even began.

You stood underneath the roof of the waiting shed for the bus stop. You were checking to see if you hadn’t forgotten anything at home when you felt your phone ring in your bag. You read the caller ID, it was your boyfriend – well, now ex-boyfriend.

"Hey, I want to break up," he says over the phone.

Your breath hitched, gripping your device in your hand by your ear. You stood there rooted on the ground, a gust of morning wind made your whole body shiver and frozen.

"Seriously?" You didn't feel like crying, in fact, you wanted to lash out then and there. Scream and curse at him but the anxiety and embarrassment that comes after the loud noise will make everything worse for you. And who even breaks up with people through the phone? and at 5 am?

"I'm sorry it's not you it's—"

"Fucking spare me with that bullshit Minyoung, just say you didn't like me and hang up." You said, cutting him off and ending the call not without giving him a chance to speak. You didn’t even have to think twice to find out if he was cheating on your not, for fuck sake you could hear a girl in the background. You were stupid to think he was ever a good idea.

That exchange definitely ruined your mood for the rest of the day.

And now you are back here, on the train home. Replaying the scenes that happened so early in the morning.

You were too prideful to admit it, blinded by thinking you could make him fall for you. But that wasn’t the case. You even caught him once with a girl but he was able to convince you.

Stupid and naive were you.

They are all the same. You were starting to think men that know how to treat their partner right are rare.

Well maybe…there was one.

You dated this one the longest. He was the kindest and most caring person. He stayed through your darkest nights and brightest days. He helped and cheered you on and even celebrated with you on your achievements. He gave you the support that no one else has.

He was your first and would’ve probably been your last.

He became the first shoulder you cried on, he was there when you had a bad dream, he was there when you were scared of the thunders and didn't laugh at you once for it. He let you become vulnerable and got you to lower your walls. He made sure you weren't scared to open up anymore and always promised that he was there for you.

But alas, he broke that promise.

Now every time you hear someone say fuck relationships, you agree with them. You used to love the feeling of being in love. You thought that being in a relationship would solve all your problems. That was a lie, it’ll be the beginning of all your problems.

But something about him still made you wanna come back. You wanted to run into his arms, cry into his chest as you feel his rough calloused hands run through your hair, hushing you and whispering sweet nothings, calming your heart that has been hammering in your chest making you sob in pain.

In times like this when you are weak and tired, you find yourself on the phone with him, just to hear his voice again.

"Y/n..."

"I miss you Hyuck."

There, the tears that didn't fall from the break up fell on your cheeks as you talk to him again. A lump gets caught in your throat as you let out another sentence.

"I miss you so much." He gets you so weak it's embarrassing.

"Y/n, how many times do we have to—" That voice.

He’s tired. Tired of hearing your trembling voice over the line, weeping in pain and pity.

"I'm sorry..I— I don't know,, I didn't even realize...I just—" you stumbled on your words as you try to not let the tears take over. "— no one is like you...no one can ever be like you,,,"

You hear a sigh on the other line.

He's tired of this. It's been a year since you broke up and he still finds you calling his phone. But Donghyuck cannot get himself to block your number.

"You are making it so hard to get over you— to get over us."

"Then come back to me, we can try again, please Hyuck?"

You can sense him shake his head, trying not to give in to your pleads. Desperation laced your words as your sobs begin to increase in volume, and streams of tears start to fall from your eyes. You didn't care if the other 5 people start to give you looks, all you wanted was Donghyuck to be in your arms again.

"You know how it ended with us, it never worked out." You swallowed your cries, wiping away the hot liquid from your face. It seemed that the sentence brought you back to reality as you recalled the last attempt of being with his presence again. Screams and cries echoed throughout the apartment with you throwing accessories and pillows at him.

You and Donghyuck were toxic. Together you are just waving a giant red flag. The endless fights, misunderstandings, your relationship status is constantly on and off and all your friends grew concerned until one day they were too tired to keep up. Because of your persistence in keeping the relationship longer with Donghyuck, your friends started leaving one by one to the point where Donghyuck was the only one you had.

But you still couldn’t trust him enough to completely hold your heart. You realized that on the first fight you had.

"Yeah."

You tried hooking up with no strings attached but you were so addicted to him even that was killing you both inside. It was best that you just completely cut ties.

"I'm sorry for calling." Sniffles replaced the sounds of sobs, letting out a deep sigh as you've come back to your senses.

"It's ok."

"Goodnight Hyuck."

"Baby, are you coming back to bed?" You here in the back. 'Baby...' part of you felt guilty for calling now. What would his girlfriend think after his ex called trying to get back at him? You really don't want to be the reason he loses her trust but that little part of your toxic self wanted to keep this up and do harm to their relationship.

'boundaries' your conscience whispered to. 'remember you are trying to get rid of that part of yourself'

"I have to go y/n."

"Ok" you replied after he hung up. You leaned your head back, hitting the glass pane of the train window. Hearing the tracks whistles as the train dragged along the metal.

"The train is now arriving at its final destination, thank you and enjoy your night."

The train doors squeaked open as the passengers began to get off. You sat for a while registering what had just happened until the last passenger got off and you finally stood up to get off as well.

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maliby · 3 years

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Dare | Johnny Suh (+18)

↬ Pairing: Johnny x F. Reader

↬ Story Genre: smut, fluff

↬ Warnings: mature language, explicit sex scene

↬ Word count: 5.6K

↬ Summary: You and your friend Johnny have this ongoing string of wild dares. There’s just one thing: you’re never allowed to say no.

“Good morning class, today we’re going to start learning all about the matrix!” Your Algebra professor happily announced, completely unaware of the horror that swept over his students.

“Wait, is he talking about the movies?” Your friend Taeyong leaned in as soon as Professor Weaver turned his back to write on the board. The rest of the class groaned, having heard tales of horror from their seniors about the subject.

“No, you dufus! Remember last year when Taeil was having a mental breakdown?”

“Oh,” realization dawned over his beautiful face, his big eyes widening even more.

You had had a crush on Taeyong from the first moment you had seen him (just like everybody in your year), but that soon went away as you got to know him and found that you connected better as friends.

“Yup. Matrices…” You sighed in terror while you rested your chin on the palm of your hand. “Maybe Taeil has some notes he can give us-” At that moment, the phone in the back pocket of your jeans buzzed, breaking you out of your conversation. You fished the device from your pocket and looked at the shiny notification bar - it was a message from your roommate, Johnny Suh.

You looked to your left where said roommate was, sat just a few tables from you, and felt a feeling of dread creep up on you at the sight of his stupid grin. You didn’t have to read the message, you already knew what he wanted.

“Is it Johnny?” Taeyong asked as his eyes followed yours straight to the roommate you both had in common.

“Yes…” you mumbled through gritted teeth, quickly placing your finger on your phone’s Touch ID to unlock it and read the message.

Heeere’s Johnny 🔪 (10:35 AM): dare u to scream “fuck” as loud as you can

“Motherfucker…” you muttered with your eyes closed.

“What did he dare you to do this time?” You turned your phone to him as you noticed him trying to take a peek at it. “Oh no…”

It all started this one night at a frat house party. Back then, you were still crushing over Taeyong and, in a game of truth or dare, Johnny dared you to pick your nose and eat your own booger. Of course, any sane person would have said ‘no’ but, the tequila shots you had downed half an hour earlier made you anything but that. After that, not only did you not look at Taeyong for 2 weeks straight, but also dared Johnny to pick his crush’s nose. You thought he would never agree to it, but as soon as you saw the deed being performed right in the middle of the cafeteria, you knew you had just entered a game with no end.

“Y/N, you can’t do this! You’ll be in trouble!” Taeyong tried to reason with you, already knowing his words would fall on deaf ears.

“More trouble than I was in when I had to write a love poem to Professor Stevens on one of the questions of the Calculus exam?” You flinched as you remembered the talk down you got when Professor Stevens thought you were trying to have sex with him to get a better grade.

“Yeah...that was bad. But still-”

The buzzing of your phone interrupted Taeyong. You looked down at it and read Johnny’s second message out loud to your friend.

Heeere’s Johnny 🔪 (10:38 AM): are u scared? 🐔

You looked back at the sender of the message and felt annoyance grow as you saw him flap his arms around like a chicken and laugh straight in your face.

5 seconds. That was how long it took for you to completely lose your cool, flip Johnny off and yell from the back of the class: “Fuck!”

You were expecting a couple of things to happen, but nothing could prepare you for the general reaction you got: laughter. Everyone was laughing, from your classmates to your professor. Everyone except Johnny, that is.

“Don’t worry Miss Y/L/N,” Mr Weaver said from the front of the class, breaking your stare down with Johnny. “Matrices aren’t as scary as they seem,” Mr Weaver fondly smiled at you before turning back to the board to write something down, leaving you completely perplexed.

You looked back at Johnny who had his face in a frown and stuck your tongue out to him - it felt good to see his evil plans backfire.

“That was lucky,” Taeyong commented with a little chuckle.

“Tell me about it, feels like the Universe has finally compensated me for all the stupid shit Johnny has made me do.”

“You’ve made Johnny do some pretty stupid shit too.”

“Shhh,” you turned to your friend with your finger in front of your lips, making the universal gesture for silence. “Let’s not talk about that,” you patted him in the back and picked up your pen to start taking notes.

“I’m back!” You announced as put your keys on the glass bowl right by the entrance of your shared apartment.

“Taeyong, they were all out of your favourite yoghurt.” You heard noise coming from the kitchen so you moved your way there, but as you went inside you crossed paths with Johnny who was just leaving the kitchen. He was on the phone, and by the expression on his face, you figured that something bad must have happened.

“What happened?” You asked Taeyong who was leaning on the balcony eating the last of his yoghurt.

“I don’t know, it’s his mother.”

“Oh no, are his parents fighting again?”

Taeyong nodded as he licked his spoon and threw the yoghurt cup in the trash.

It was then that you both jumped up at the noise of the door slamming shut - Johnny had stormed out of the house.

Both you and Taeyong had called him loads of times but Johnny never answered, worry consuming you and your best friend. Eventually, you both decided to split up and go looking for him - Taeyong on his scooter and you on your bicycle.

After half an hour of looking for Johnny in the most obvious places, you started to get desperate. You were starting to run low on ideas of where he could be, but as you passed by a bus stop and saw an ad for a sunscreen with a girl on the beach you suddenly remembered something: Johnny once had told you that when he was feeling down he liked to go to the beach and listen to the waves because it really calmed him down.

“Why didn’t I think of that earlier?” You questioned yourself (earning a few weird looks from the people at the bus stop) before you changed directions and started to peddle your way to the beach.

The beach was mostly deserted (being that it was December and it was cold), but a brown-haired guy could be seen sitting alone in the sand.

You parked your bike in the empty bicycle spot, locked it and walked straight to the lonely boy. As you got closer to him and confirmed his identity you couldn’t help but sigh in relief - he sure as hell didn’t look good mentally, but at least he was physically okay. You fished your phone from the pocket of your jacket and sent a quick text to Taeyong before sitting right down beside one of your best friends.

“It’s a little cold for a swim, don’t you think?”

He smiled at you, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“My parents are getting a divorce,” he deadpanned before looking back at the sea, your instant reaction being to hug him.

“I’m so sorry Johnny.”

“I begged them to just talk it over. I begged them to try but...they won’t.”

“Johnny…” you started in a warning tone. You wanted to tell him that his parents have the right to be happy, but you completely understood where he was coming from - nobody wants their parents to split up. You just wish you could take away this bad feeling from him.

“I know, I know…” he answered, picking up what you were about to tell him. “It’s just...hard.”

You studied his face for a while and noticed his eyes were puffy from crying and your heart completely broke. You and Johnny liked to tease each other a lot, but the truth was that you really cared about each other, more than you’d probably like to admit.

You placed your hand on his back and started rubbing soothing circles. He probably could barely feel them over his bulky black leather jacket, but you couldn’t help but do it. “We’re here for you. Me and Taeyong. You know that, don’t you?”

Johnny turned to look at you and for a brief moment, his eyes held an emotion you had never seen on him. Something you were sure you had misunderstood. Something that, weirdly, made your heart pound.

“I know.”

Johnny kissed the top of your head and wrapped his long arm around you, snuggling you closer to him and his body heat. You placed your head on his shoulder and just sat there, hearing a mix of his breathing and the waves.

Suddenly your heart started pounding again - something about this felt way too intimate. Replaying the last few minutes in your head made you realize that all of this, somehow, felt like more than a friendship, and that, scared the crap out of you.

Your own body acted on its own, and when you came to it, you were already backing away from him and saying something to deflect the situation.

“You know there’s a frat party tonight don’t you?”

“Y/N... I’m not in the mood.”

“Johnny Suh, you are going to that damn party, and you are going to have a good time!” You knew he was stubborn and that you probably had no chance of convincing him but then, something crossed your mind; something that would dead sure make him go. “...I dare you!”

He chuckled. “That’s a low blow, using the dares against me.”

“Isn’t that the purpose of a dare though?” You smiled mischievously, making him smile in return.

“Touché.”

“Woo-hoo! Look at you!” Taeyong whistled as soon as you left your room, all dolled up and ready to go party. “Who are you trying to bang?”

You sneakily took a peek at Johnny who was sitting on the couch and felt a shiver run up your spine as you saw his eyes completely locked on your form. “Mmm, no one,” you lied in a playful tone.

The truth was you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that little moment with Johnny on the beach and, as you looked through all your clothes when deciding on what to wear, you couldn’t help but pick your most revealing dress with his reaction in mind.

“Yeah, I don’t believe you,” Taeyong said.

“Well tough luck! Now come on guys, the cab is waiting downstairs.”

When you were grabbing your bag to make your way out the door you felt a tall presence right behind you. He placed his big hand on the small of your back and whispered to your hair: “damn Y/N, didn’t know you cleaned up like that.”

You smiled to yourself and then turned to look at him. “Well, obviously you haven’t been paying attention.” You winked at him and turned back around, leaving to follow Taeyong to the cab while being fully aware of Johnny’s eyes on your back.

When both you and Johnny arrived downstairs, Taeyong had already sat in the front, making you both sit in the back.

The ride was a short one - only 10 to 15 minutes - but, nonetheless, it was full of tension. Taeyong was on his phone the whole time, and the driver kept quiet so, if it wasn’t for the radio the silence would be a deafening one.

Both you and Johnny didn’t take out your phones, as it would be usual. He just leaned his head on the window and watched the city lights pass by, probably still thinking about his parents. You felt bad. You didn’t want him to feel this way. You wanted him to be his usual funny self and dare you to do stupid shit, but seeing him like this just broke your heart.

You couldn’t help but stare at his side profile - he was handsome. Of course, you knew he was handsome, you were not blind, but this was the first time his handsomeness was affecting you. You couldn’t help but stare: stare at the way his styled hair brushed upon his eyes, stare at his straight nose and stare at his perky lips.

Suddenly, an undeniable urge to lean in and kiss him emerged within you. An urge so immense that you caught yourself actually moving towards him, only to be stopped by him turning to look back at you with a charged expression.

You shared a look for a few seconds. A look that made your insides tingle and your legs press harder against each other. What was happening to you?

Johnny’s hand was reaching over to yours, which was pressed on the seat between the both of you, and you could feel your heart start to beat faster. Suddenly, it felt like time had slowed down and all your focus was on that one hand. That hand that looked strong and delicate at the same time. That hand that looked like it had the power to not only be rough but also gentle. That hand that could grope you, touch you and fuck you so good until you cried for more. That hand that was so close that made you gasp in anticipation.

“We’re here,” the cab driver announced, breaking you from whatever spell Johnny had you on.

“Thanks. Keep the change.” Taeyong paid the driver and left the cab, immediately moving to open up your door.

“Milady,” he bowed, acting as your personal chauffeur.

“Why thank you,” you awkwardly bowed back, still feeling shaken up by the events of the car.

“Okay, let’s move!” Your group started walking towards the house as soon as Johnny joined both of you from the other side of the cab, Taeyong still completely unaware of what had just happened. “I promised Yuta we’d play beer pong with him.”

“But Taeyong, you know I suck at beer pong!” You protested.

“I do. And that’s why you’re not on my team.”

“What?! That means I’m stuck with her!” Johnny whined from right next to you, making you turn and hit him in his chest, his hard pecks not going unnoticed by you.

“Hey!”

“Shut up Suh, you know as well as I do that you could use a drink,” Taeyong said before he spotted his friend near the entrance. “Yuta ma’ man! What’s up?”

“TY! I was beginning to wonder if you’ve gotten lost!”

“Sorry, Miss Y/N here took 3 hours to get ready,” he pointed back at you, making you hit him in his shoulder.

“Shut up Taeyong!”

“Come on man, did you get a good look at her? I’d wait an eternity if it meant I could look at an angel like her,” he winked at you before getting a sip out of his red plastic cup.

It was public knowledge that you and Yuta had fucked a couple of times. He was pretty hot, and the things he could make you feel with that tongue piercing of his were out of this fucking world. But tonight, you weren’t feeling him all that much - the tiny voice in your head telling you that that’s because you wanted to be railed by Johnny instead.

“Do you really think those cheesy lines are going to work?” Johnny asked out of nowhere with a hint of annoyance to his voice.

Johnny and Yuta were friends and him, more than anyone, knew that Yuta was a nice guy. Sure, he really liked to flirt, but he was also very respectful. So, his reaction made you wonder if he perhaps was feeling jealous. Secretly, you hoped he was.

“It already did man,” Yuta winked at you once again, catching you a little off-guard.

“Now, TY told me we’re not going to be on the same team for the beer pong. I’m usually a perfect gentleman, but I’m sorry angel, I can’t let you win.” Yuta came one step closer and picked up your hand and you swore you felt Johnny tense up beside you. “Maybe afterwards you could save me a dance?” He kissed the back of your hand and gave you a look that left little to no imagination of his true intentions - he wanted sex.

“Dream on, Nakamoto,” Johnny interrupted, coming right between you two and breaking your contact. “Stop stalling and let’s go.”

Johnny grabbed your arm and pulled you inside and away from Yuta and his advances. The look of bewilderment on your other roommate’s face didn’t go by unnoticed by you, but you forcibly chose to act like you hadn’t seen it. You didn’t know what it was, but you were liking this jealous side of Johnny and you were certainly curious for more.

“Alright, game on,” you heard Yuta comment before the loud music from inside overwhelmed you and your ears.

The game went on for a while. You lost, just as Taeyong had predicted. You didn’t mind, really. You just wanted to have a good time and the alcohol from the game was helping you do just that: you were currently in the middle of the dance floor dancing by yourself without a care in the world. You had lost your friends when you went to the bathroom and decided to go to the dancefloor when WAP started playing.

You were enjoying yourself. You were at that fine line where you were feeling the effects of the alcohol but you could still make your own decisions and you loved it.

Suddenly, as you were shaking your ass, you felt a pair of hands on your hips and a crotch on your ass. You wished it was Johnny, but as you opened your eyes and saw him sitting on a couch not far from you, you felt your fantasy crumbling. You turned around to see who you had just ground on and weren’t surprised when your eyes landed on Yuta.

“Hello angel, I’ve been looking for you.”

“Really?” You tried to put a little distance between you, but Yuta just pulled you right back in, your bodies now in full contact with each other.

“The way you look tonight...you’re driving me fucking crazy. I can’t stop thinking about you,” he confessed in your ear, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the small of your back. “All I wanted to do, was ditch Taeyong and the game and do that thing with my tongue that you like so much.”

Usually, that would be enough to make you lose your shit and pull him to the closest available bedroom, but tonight your mind was elsewhere. “Yuta...I’m sorry but tonight I’m not feeling it.”

His face fell in disappointment and he looked like a lost puppy, which partially made you feel bad for rejecting him, but you had to be honest.

“You sure?” He asked you.

“Yes.”

“Alright, I’m sorry then...”

He was about to let you go; you could feel his grip loosening when someone yanked him back and away from you, leaving you confused.

“Leave her alone Nakamoto,” Johnny’s voice sounded right from beside you, making your heart jump.

“What the-? What is wrong with you Johnny? Why are you acting so- Oh…” Yuta looked back at you and you could literally see him putting all the puzzle pieces together in his mind. “I get it now.”

“Get what?” Johnny asked.

“Nothing,” you intercepted Yuta before he could say anything. “Yuta, don’t you have to go meet up with that girl?”

You made some weird faces at Yuta so he could understand what you were doing and, thankfully, he did.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Have fun!” He winked at you and turned to leave, making you sigh in relief that that whole situation was over.

“That was weird,” your roommate commented. “Was he bothering you? I know he sometimes can be a little...persistent.”

You felt a warmth spread throughout your chest. You knew Yuta could never harm you, but the fact that Johnny was so worried about you made you swoon. Then a thought popped in your head that made the warm fuzzy feeling turn sour: was he worried because he liked you or just as a friend?

“No, it’s okay. He did nothing wrong. Thank you…”

“You’re welcome…”

The mood got awkward for a minute, with none of you saying a word until Johnny broke your shared silence. “I’m gonna go.”

“What?”

“Yeah...I’m sorry, I’m just not really feeling it.”

He looked mentally down and you felt bad for him. Johnny was always the one cracking up a joke - wherever there was laughter, he was always present. He loved to dance and to have a good time, and it broke you to see him like this.

“Hey, come on, dance with me.”

“I’m sorry Y/N, I’m really not feeling it…”

“Come oooon…” You didn’t know how you could convince him, but then an idea popped in your head. “I dare you.”

He chuckled and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of at least making him laugh. “Playing dirty again Y/N?”

“Well, you aren’t giving me much of a choice now are you Johnny?”

“I don’t know…”

Before he could continue you started imitating a chicken, just like he had done to you in the Algebra class and you couldn’t help but smile at his laughter once again.

“Alright, alright!”

“Yes!” You chanted in victory, promptly grabbing his hands and making him dance with you.

The dance started out friendly, with a few spins here and there, but it wasn’t long before tension started rising up and his hands were on your hips, just where Yuta’s had been. In your head, you couldn’t help but compare the feeling of the 2. Yuta had nice hands, that had certainly made you feel good before, but Johnny’s somehow felt better. His hands felt like he cared for you on a much deeper level. Like they could hold you and never let go. Like they could protect you from anything and completely destroy you at the same time.

As your inner voice went on an entire monologue about the wonder of Johnny’s hands, you found yourself looking him dead in the eyes. The way he was looking at you was making you think wild things, and with the buzz from the alcohol, you couldn’t help but want to act on those thoughts.

Without an ounce of self-control, you let your head move forward and your mouth whisper in his ear: “I dare you to grab my ass.”

Without a second of hesitation, his hands were on your ass and you were exhaling on his ear. The way his big hands were fully grabbing you and massaging you was turning you on so much that you could feel yourself get wet. You wanted nothing more than to have him lift up your dress and finger you in the middle of everyone.

Johnny moved his head near your neck and you thought for a second he was about to kiss you there, but you were surprised when he spoke in your ear. “I dare you to grind that sexy ass of yours on my cock.”

“Fuck.”

Just as he had done with your dare, you promptly complied, turning around and rubbing yourself on his semi. You both were walking on some dangerous paths, but you didn’t think any one of you could go back now.

As you moved your ass to the music and felt him grow harder and harder you couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to fuck him. You wanted him to end you. You wanted him to fill you up so good that he’d ruin any other man for you. You wanted his hands all over your body. You wanted him to grab your tits and play with your nipples. Fuck.

You reached your head back and whispered your next dare to him: “I dare you to play with my boobs.”

“Gladly.”

And then those big hands that were previously on your ass were now caressing your breasts and you felt like you were completely done.

“Mmmh…” you moaned, not sure if he could hear you over the loud music.

The way he was pinching your nipples over your dress made you feel glad you decided on not wearing a bra tonight. He was making you feel so good just with his fingers on your nipples and his clothed cock on your ass that your mind once again thought about what it would feel like to have the real deal.

“I dare you to kiss me.”

The dare had caught you off guard. You had been so in a trance by the grinding that your mind went straight to the fucking and skipped the kissing, but now that he had requested it you couldn’t stop thinking about it. So, consumed by desire, you turned around and glued your lips to his.

You wrapped your right leg around his hip (his hand once again coming to the rescue and grabbing your thigh) and felt his cock rubbing you straight on your clit. The feeling was so pleasurable that you felt like you couldn’t take it anymore, you had to have him now. So you pulled back from the kiss and plead for the last dare: “I dare you to fuck me.”

Johnny didn’t waste any more seconds, he grabbed you by your hand and lead you up the stairs to the first spare bedroom he could find. He then pushed you to the bed, making you fall right on the mattress.

“When I saw you with Yuta I went fucking crazy.”

The way he was towering over you and looking down on you as he confessed his feelings to you was slowly driving you mad. You never imagined you would be where you were right now, but now that you were you could confidently say that you wanted nothing more than this.

“I turned him down because of you,” you also confessed, now suddenly feeling shy and not being able to look him in the eye.

He chuckled.

Suddenly the mattress dipped between your legs as he joined you on the bed, right on top of you.

“How the fuck did we end up here Y/N?” His fingers gently placed a misplaced lock of your hair behind your ear, catching your breath at his tenderness.

“I don’t know...but I think I don’t want to go back.”

“Good. ‘Cause me neither.”

His lips were back on yours and although the kiss felt different this time, it quickly evolved to something more. His hands ran down your body and went between your legs, his fingers rubbing you over your drenched panties.

“You’re so wet baby. Is this all from grinding against my cock?” His fingers slid under your underwear and easily entered you, making you moan.

“Fuck, yes. I can’t stop thinking about your cock, it’s driving me crazy. I want to fuck you so badly.”

“I want that too.” Something dark took over his eyes. Something that, in combination with his low and breathy voice was making your desire for him grow to even bigger levels.

“Lately I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” His free hand pulled down the upper part of your dress, exposing your breaths to his hungry mouth, as his other hand picked up its pace. “I lay awake at night just thinking about you: your smell, your hair, your smile, your eyes, your lips, your body…”

“Johnny…” you moaned his name as you felt that sweet pleasure building up from within you.

“Fuck, that sounded better than I imagined. Do that again, baby.”

Johnny’s other hand joined the one between your legs and began its assault on your little bundle of nerves, intensifying the amount of pleasure you were feeling. “Fuck Johnny, I can’t take it much longer…”

“Cum for me baby,” he instructed as he tried to alleviate himself by rubbing his cock against your leg.

“Ohshit-” you incoherently mumbled at the arrival of your orgasm, your walls spasming around his long fingers.

“You’re so beautiful,” Johnny mumbled against the skin of your belly as he pressed soothing kisses on it.

You smiled and took in a few more breaths so you could talk.

“Since when are you this romantic Suh?” You asked as you finger-combed his now messy hair.

“Since always. I just only show it to special girls.”

You looked away, suddenly feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks. Damn Johnny Suh and his smooth ass talking.

He chuckled before moving closer to your face and kissing you across your jaw. “Since when are you this shy Y/L/N?”

“Since-” You opened your mouth to answer him but came up short, ending up getting frustrated instead. “Shut up and take your clothes off!”

Your roommate laughed at your annoyance and immediately complied, removing his shirt and working on his pants. You couldn’t help but stare at his buff body: his bulging biceps, his washboard abs and his juicy pecks. You were so lost in desire that you didn’t even notice that Johnny was eyeing you up.

“Enjoying the view?” He teased, the stupid grin on his face driving you mad.

“Shut up,” you said once more, not enjoying the power he had over you.

“Take off your dress baby, I wanna see you too,” he requested as his hand caressed your naked thigh, sending shivers up your spine.

You obliged, quickly removing all your clothes and exposing your naked body to his hungry eyes.

Johnny didn’t say anything, but you could tell by the way his cock twitched that he was affected. So affected, in fact, that within seconds he was on top of you devouring your lips.

Both your hands wandered on each other’s body as he dry humped you between your legs.

“Do you have a condom?” You asked between ragged breaths.

“Fuck, no. But wait a minute,” Johnny reached for the bedside table and opened the first drawer, finding exactly what he was looking for. “Jackpot.”

“Did you know that was there?”

“No, but I figured. After all, this is a frat house,” he explained as he opened up the package and rolled down the latex condom on his cock.

“Are you ready, baby?”

“Fuck, yes. Just put it in.”

Johnny didn’t wait a second longer. He grabbed his cock, ran it up and down your slit a couple of times and slowly entered you, the feeling of fullness being completely indescribable.

“Oh Johnny, you feel so good.”

“Fuck, tell me when I can move.” Johnny was nuzzled up in your neck, leaving tiny love bites as you adjusted to his cock.

“You can go.”

He started moving slowly at first, a string of moans spilling out from both your mouths, but, soon after, his hips started thrusting faster and harder and you found yourself clawing at his back.

“Shit,” he hissed before glueing his lips back on yours.

For a moment you both lay there on your own little pleasure bubble, just fucking and swirling your tongues together, with moans and cusses being spilt left and right as you enjoyed each others’ bodies. For a moment, nothing else mattered - just you and Johnny.

“Baby, you’re taking me so well. You are so perfect,” he confessed as he kissed you all over, his words almost making your heart jump out of your chest.

“Johnny, baby, I’m so close.”

“Me too, fuck.”

Johnny was drilling into you so hard that the sound of skin slapping on skin was drowning out the music coming from outside. You were almost there, and as you felt that sweet feeling building up in your core you took a chance to really look at Johnny: the way he bit his lip, the way his brows frowned in pleasure, his dishevelled locks and the way his veins popped on his arms as he held himself up so as not to crush you. He was so fucking hot you couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed it sooner.

“Johnny, I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum for me, beautiful. I’m right there.”

That was all you needed. Just like that, you were crashing and burning around the man you had considered as ‘just a friend’ for years, your walls milking him dry and making him spill everything inside the borrowed condom.

You didn’t move for several minutes. Johnny fell right to your side and just lay there right beside you, your chests rising and falling in tandem.

What do you say in these situations? What were you supposed to say right after one of your best friends, and roommate, fucked the shit out of you? You had no idea, but thankfully, he took the lead.

“I dare you to fuck me again.”

The dare caught you completely off-guard, just like yours had caught him and you couldn’t help but laugh. For a good minute, that’s all you both did: laugh.

“Alright,” you reached for the drawer and grabbed another condom from the owner of the room. “But this time, I’m on top.”

1K notes · View notes

storiesofsvu · 3 years

Text

Playing With Fire Ch 8

Rita calhoun x fem!reader Warnings: language, smut, arguing, minor angst. major thanks to @swimmingstudentchaos891 & @thatesqcrush for the Spanish help…

“Oh fuck Rita!” Your cry muffled into her shoulder as your leg wrapped tighter around her waist, letting her plunge the longer side of the double edged toy deeper into you. She had you pinned to the wall of her apartment, unable to keep her hands off of you when you showed up in an adorable little sundress. The plan had been to have a pre-dinner drink to calm the nerves, but maybe a pre-dinner orgasm would help even more, and honestly, at this point you were so lost in bliss all you could think of was Rita.

Your whimpers increased as your pussy fluttered around her cock, your head dropping back against the wall as her lips made a home in the crook of your neck, teeth nipping gently at your skin, careful to not leave any fresh marks.

“Fuck…” she husked into your ear, her own release building rapidly.

Your hands clutched at her shoulders, pulling her closer to you while she continued to drive you into the wall. It only took a few more thrusts to have you shuddering, your body collapsing against her, chest heaving while Rita pumped a couple of more times, the base of the toy hitting her clit just right before she stilled. The air was heavy with heat, her forehead came to rest on yours, panting breaths onto each other’s skin. The leg you had wrapped around her dropped down to the floor as she slipped the toy out of both of you, she pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, making sure you were steady on your feet before she moved to toss the toy in the bathroom.

When she returned to the kitchen she found you half slumped over the island, still catching your breath. Her hand ran up the middle of your back, soothingly rubbing circles between your shoulder blades and you hummed in gratitude.

“You alright darling?” She smirked.

“Yeah.” You huffed out a laugh, “just…can’t say I was expecting that when I walked in the door.” Chuckling softly, she kissed at your bare shoulder, moving around the island,

“Show up looking this fucking cute again and I can guarantee a replay.” She pulled the bottle of rosé out of the fridge, filling up the long forgotten wine glasses.

“I’ll remember that.” You grinned, accepting the glass of chilled wine, cooling yourself down for a moment. Now that her primal urges were taken care of, Rita’s eyes softly drank you in, able to appreciate just how good you did look, the smile on your cheeks making her swell with pride. Her eyes landed on your wrist and she huffed, raising a brow. “What?”

“You’re missing a very important piece of jewelry darling.”

“I know, I know. I’m already gonna get an earful from Abuelita.” You took a heavy sip of wine, “I’m waiting on a replacement band, it got blood on it the other day.” Rita froze in her movements, worry etched across her face, “not my blood.” You assured her, “the band had to get tossed in the toxic waste, I don’t exactly feel like wearing something with someone else’s blood on it.”

“Well…” she pursed her lips, turning to a cupboard on the far side of the fridge, “you should probably put this on then.” She slid a small box across the island and your brow furrowed, plucking the lid off it you found an exact replica of your ID bracelet, you picked up the tag, examining it before looking to Rita.

“How did you even…”

“I have my connections darling.” She smirked over the rim of her glass, sliding a second, blue box over to you, “for special occasions.”

Your eyes widened at the colour of the box, everyone knew what Tiffany blue looked like. After another glance up to Rita your fingers daintily untied the ribbon, picking the lid off the box, a quiet gasp escaping at the sight of a second bracelet, this one’s band made of what you were sure must be diamonds, and you were also sure must have been expensive.

“Rita…this is…”

“Ah.” She cut you off with a raise of her hand, “this way I know you’ll always be safe. When you get the band replaced on your original one you’ll always have a back up.” She leant in, kissing your cheek softly, “and the diamonds will fit better for some of our fancier nights out.”

“Thank you.” You smiled, tugging her to you for a gentle kiss.

“Anything for my girl.” She grinned back at you, leaving another kiss on your lips. “Now you might want to go fix that lipstick, the car will be here any minute.”

You felt your cheeks heat as you hopped off the stool, you certainly didn’t want to show up at Lucia’s looking thoroughly fucked, that wouldn’t be a good start to the evening.

Arriving at Lucia’s building, she quickly buzzed you up, and you let yourselves into her apartment, calling out in greeting as the door swung shut behind Rita. You were honestly glad that you’d beaten Rafael there, although, that wasn’t surprising, he was usually running late, even if it was Sunday.

“Nietecita!” Lucia greeted warmly, pulling you into a hug, “so much better to see you outside of work.” She kissed your cheek gently, her hand patting the other one as she did so.

“I know Abuelita,” you smiled, “it’s not like I’m the only one who works crazy hours in this family.”

“Ai, don’t start.” She scolded, shifting her focus behind you, “Rita, it’s wonderful to see you again.” She pulled her into a brief hug, “I would say I wish you’d come around more often but all things considered…I assume I’ll be seeing more of you?”

“I would love that.” Rita smiled back, “certainly not planning on going anywhere anytime soon.” She cast a small grin to you that you felt your cheeks heat at.

“Come in, come in, make yourselves at home.” Lucia urged and you did so, slipping onto the stools on the opposite side of the breakfast bar from her as she moved back into the kitchen.

“Abi, red or white with dinner? We brought both.” You asked as Rita placed the bag down on the counter.

“Both works.” Lucia turned, “I can put the white in the fridge for you?”

“Thank you.” You passed her the bottle that she paused to examine briefly, “I take it this was Rita’s choosing?” She smirked, pulling a laugh from you.

“I drank box wine all through college, what do you think?”

“Oh you can’t be serious.” Rita’s nose crinkled in distaste and you laughed.

“Relax, it wasn’t often, but it was cheap and it got the job done.” You pressed a kiss to her cheek, “besides, you must’ve gone through some kind of cheap liquor phase?”

“Sweetheart I’ve been drinking Bombay and Moët since I was allowed to drink.”

“Typical.” You teased, earning a chuckle from both the other women, “Abuelita do you need any help?”

“No.” She cast you half a glare, “you are my guests, you’re not lifting a finger.”

“But”-

“Nonsense.” She swatted at your hand with a spatula, quickly checking the stove before setting it down, turning back to the breakfast bar. “Now, carina, you said you met your lovely girlfriend at a bar, were you just trying to cover things up?”

“Kind of…” you winced, “but we did run into each other on a night out. Things just…happened from there on out.”

“Well. I know you’re happy, and if Ms Calhoun is buying you Louis Vuitton, she’s clearly taking good care of you.” Both you and Rita laughed, “so I’m not about to grill either of you on this, you’re a big girl, you’ve made a good choice.”

“Thanks.” You felt your cheeks heat again as you ducked your head, catching the soft grin from Rita.

“Tell me Rita, how’s work? I do hope you’re giving Rafi a run for his money whenever you can?”

“I do my best.” She laughed, “though he doesn’t make it too hard.”

“Ah, you just know how to get under his skin better than anyone else.” Lucia teased, “he deserves a little knock down once in a while.” A timer went off and she turned back to the stove, pulling a pan off a burner and flicking it off. “Chica, can you pour the wine while I finish this? Rafi will want red.”

“Yeah, ‘course.” You hopped off the stool, pausing to press a kiss to Rita’s cheek who in turn asked where the bathroom was to quickly freshen up, you pointed her in the right direction before getting her wine preference and moving into the kitchen. You were distracted with your task, and the chattering with Lucia that you didn’t hear the door open.

Rafael easily pushed open the door to his Mother’s apartment, not surprised to hear the laughter and voices of you and Lucia echoing from the kitchen. He was about to call out an apology for being late when he was surprised by a coworker crossing his path.

“Rita?” His brow furrowed at the sight of her in the apartment, “what..are you doing here?” His curiosity got the best of him, it wasn’t totally unknown for Lucia to invite a friend of his over for dinner, but she usually mentioned it to him in advance, at the very least.

“I..”- before she could even reply, you popped up into the entry way, glass of wine in your hand,

“You said red, right?” Your body stiffened at the sudden sight of your Uncle, glancing between the two of you as Rita’s hand lingered a little too long on your arm for his liking, his brow furrowing. “Hey…” you started, not really sure where your words were going after that.

“Chica I thought you were bringing your girlfriend tonight?” His head tilted in your direction and you gulped, you knew this wasn’t going to end well. Your hand clasped around Rita’s wrist, pushing her back towards the breakfast bar, wine in hand.

“I…was.” You stated, stepping back.

Rafael let out a small breath, thinking that Rita was there by fluke, convinced after a run in with his Mami, that he’d round the corner to see a young woman waiting, eager to meet him. Instead he was met with the sight of Lucia in the kitchen, Rita settled at the breakfast bar, and you sheepishly sliding a glass of wine toward him.

“What…is going on here?” He asked, his voice stiffening with each word.

“Ai, Rafi!” Lucia cut in, “don’t be an ass, for once in your life?” He turned to you,

“If you broke up with your girlfriend already, that’s fine. But I did warn you about falling too deeply too quickly, didn’t I?”

“Oh my God.” You muttered, running a hand over your face before you took a heavy swig of wine, “I didn’t break up with her, thank you.”

“She just couldn’t make it tonight?” He raised a brow and you groaned at his denial of accepting what was happening.

“You know, for someone who went to Harvard, you’re pretty dumb sometimes.” You shot back, “Rita is my girlfriend.”

“No.” The word was out before he even had a chance to think.

“Excuse me?” Both you and Rita shot back practically in tandem.

“I said no.” He stated again, his voice hardening, rising ever so slightly.

“Rafi…” Lucia warned.

“You don’t control my life.” You started, “you get no say into who I date.”

“You can’t be serious! She works for defence!”

“That’s your argument?” Rita laughed, swigging back a mouthful of wine.

“She’s forty-five!” He continued, “she’s way out of your age range!”

“What happened to the I’m so glad you’re happy, you deserve it for once chica, thing you had going on last week!?” You shot back.

“Rafi!” Lucia cut in again, “calm down. Ms Calhoun can clearly provide better and take better care of y/n that some two bit twenty something with a penis for a brain.” Rafael practically growled, slipping into Spanish half out of anger, half so that Rita wouldn’t be able to understand anything from this point on.

“¿Tú no estás apoyando esto, no? ¿Es en serio?!”

[You’re in support of this? Are you serious?!”]

“No eres mi puto papá!”

[You’re not my fucking Dad!”]

You sassed, “¿Nunca pensaste en eso, no? ¿Que de repente puedes dejarme vivir mi vida en paz? ¡No soy un puto bebe!" [“you ever think of that? That maybe you should drop it and let me live my life? I’m not a fucking child!”]

“"Esa boquita..."

[“Language…”]

Lucia warned and you mumbled a quick apology.

"¡Se está aprovechando de ti! ¡y lo sabe! ¿Tú crees que en verdad te quiere? ¡Sólo está haciendo esto para molestarme

[“She is taking advantage of you!” Rafael shot back, “and she knows it! You think she actually cares about you? She’s only doing this to piss me off!”]

"Ay por favor..." [“Oh please!”]

"¿En serio? ¡Despierta chiquita! Creciste en el Bronx, ¿en serio crees que alguien como ella se podría enamorar de alguien como tú?" [“Really? Wake up Chiquita! You grew up in the Bronx, do you really think someone like her could ever actually love someone like you?!”]

“Rafael!” Lucia gasped.

“Oh fuck you.” You spat, your eyes brimming with tears. As if you actually needed more insecurities running through your brain about your relationship with Rita. You knew Rafael would have a problem with the two of you being together, but you never thought it would set him off this badly, attacking your relationship, attacking you specifically? With blurry eyes you shoved past him,

“Chica!” Lucia called at the same time that Rita called your name, moving from the stool she was at, only to be shoved back by Rafael who shot her the dirtiest glare she’d ever received from him.

“Stay away from her.” He growled as you scrambled to pick up your bag and move towards the door.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do.” She replied, the anger in her voice more than evident, whatever he had said had clearly hurt you, and she wouldn’t stand for it.

“Rafael!” Lucia’s voice hardened so loudly that everyone in the apartment froze, your hand on the door knob, doing your best to hold back whatever tears were threatening to fall. “Get out.”

“Mami! What?”

“Y/n came here tonight, trusting both of us enough to introduce us to her wonderful girlfriend. Now, you have two choices. You can take the stick out of your ass and accept that love is love and that they’re together, or you can leave. Entendido?”

“Perfectamente.” He snapped, suddenly pushing you out of the way to pull open the door to the apartment before he vanished into the hall, the door practically slamming shut behind you.

You winced at the sound, your arms wrapping around yourself as you slowly glanced up toward the other two women in the apartment. Rita took a hesitant step toward you,

“Darling?”

“I’m so sorry.” You whispered, glancing over to Lucia, “Abuelita I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin dinner.”

“Carina you didn’t.” She cast you a warm glance before the timer went off and she huffed, returning back to the kitchen, giving you and Rita a moment.

“Are you alright?” Rita asked softly, stepping closer to you. You shook your head, but accepted her embrace, wrapping your arms around her, letting out a sigh as you melted into her body. “What did he say?” She pressed a soft kiss to your head.

“Doesn’t matter. He’s a fucking dick.”

“Okay.” She stroked at your hair softly, “as long as you know that I’m here, alright? I’m not going anywhere. You, are all that matters. And I mean that.” You untucked from her shoulder and her hand stroked at your cheek, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. “I care about you, and all I want is for you to be happy and taken care of.”

“I know.” You murmured, letting out a heavy sigh, “I just wish he would see that…”

“Hopefully he’ll get over it.” Rita smiled softly at you and you pressed a soft kiss to her lips, relishing in the positivity radiating from her instead of the negative energy that had been left in the apartment. You snuggled into her embrace again before Lucia’s voice broke through your thoughts.

“I hate to interrupt, but if you’re still up for it, dinner is ready.”

“Course Abuelita.” You sighed out a heavy breath, shaking your head to rid yourself of the negative thoughts, squeezing at Rita’s hand.

Lucia easily dolled out food onto plates for you, all things considered, you ate at the breakfast bar rather than the preset table. You were happy that between the three of you, the conversation was able to complete reroute from Rafael and the argument, it laid only in the back of your mind as you laughed over stories with the two of them. Rita’s hand regularly came to lay across your thigh, or play with your hair, squeezing at your own on top of the counter. There was no doubt in Lucia’s mind by the end of the night that her granddaughter was in good hands, she’d always liked Rita, and despite never expecting her to pop up in this situation, she knew that she was a good fit.

Eventually the night came to a close, and she sent you both home with a mountain of leftovers, kissing both your cheeks and reminding you that she liked a weekly dinner. She laughed over your protests that your schedules were all rather busy, and she’d settle for once every couple of weeks, but she wanted to make sure she saw you regularly, and you assured her you would.

You let out a soft sigh in the car on the way home, dropping your head to Rita’s shoulder as her arm wrapped around you. You felt her press a kiss to the top of your head gently before she spoke.

“Would you like me to drop you at home?”

“No…” you murmured, burying deeper into her, “if it’s okay I’d really like to stay with you tonight. I know you have to work but I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

“Of course sweetheart.” She pressed another kiss to your head, wrapping her arm tighter around you, “you’ve got a key, you know you’re always welcome at my place, doesn’t matter what day it is.”

“Thank you.” You tilted your head up to face her, a small smile on your lips that she leant down, kissing softly.

“Anything for my girl.”

_______ @tbhidkwutimdoing @natasha-danvers @veteranwerewolf95 @laurenhope13 @randomthingssss @beccabarba @imlike-so-gaydude @bisexual-dreamer02 @altsvu @svulife-rl @svushots @gay-ass-bitch @lesbianspacecowboy @paulson-hargitay @whispered-tear-drops @wannabe-fic-reader @angelicdestieldemon @lawandorderimagines @gaylorrds @gabby-mueller23 @venablemayfairgoode @solemnnova @whimsicallymad @mysticfalls01 @1000spices @oliviaswifey @thatgaygiraffesquirrelgirl @Screenee @nocreditinthestraightworld @cmmndrwidw @bumblebear30 @denpine @mollls @wosoimagines @snowsgay19 @michael-rooker @jj-arms @infernumlilith @yourtaletotell @australiancarisi @cerberus-spectre @emskisworld @prettypyschoinpink @newyorker14 @wandas-wife @Kiwiana145 @Ycfmalise14 @addictedtodinosaurs @Weexinling @ex-uallyactive @lawandorderuswnt @Readerhermit

#Rita calhoun #rita calhoun x reader #rafael barba #playing with fire #rita calhoun angst #law and order svu

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ohmysparkle · 3 years

Text

🌙 Part I

🌙 Pairing: Jung Jaehyun (NCT) x Reader, Johnny (NCT) x Reader

🌙 Genre: Angst, Soulmate au

🌙 Word count: 3K

🌙 Warnings: the sadness of it all!!! Drinking, mentions of abandonment and cheating, mental illness and bad coping.

🌙 Series Masterlist

🌙 Note: This series was sparked by an ask from my first account. It’s been collecting dust for a few months, but I’ve always had the intention of finishing it!! It’s been slightly rewritten.

🌙 Tag List: @justineasian

Life was…

Well, something.

Sometimes you would say it was horrible. Horribly lonely, horribly difficult, horribly pathetic. Sometimes you would say it wasn’t worth living. Sometimes you looked back on all of the milestones in your life that brought you to where you were and you’d say it wasn’t worth it all. But then, you had one thing in this complicated life that sometimes made life with living.

One thing, one person: your soulmate. Now, everyone had theirs. Everyone was destined to meet them at least once. Most of the time, they spent their lives together, in love and union. Other times, they would meet at the wrong time and place, or already be enamoured with others. Regardless, you looked forward to meeting yours, and you mustered the strength to start every day with a smile, just in case today was that day.

Some people described meeting your soulmate as a sort of ping in their mind, others as if the world was colorless before and then became full of color, some even said it was like a magnetic force pulled them towards each other. Something would happen that would make you undeniably certain that you had met them - something monumental.

You felt giddy and giggled at the thought of what you would feel. Would today be that day? When you finally had someone beside you, someone to build a home with? ‘Could I be that lucky today?’

Maybe you were too focused on it. You longed for it. It was the answer to everything you had ever asked for. Love - which had been so absent in your life, had been a difficult thing to find. For years now, without your parents, you had been lonely and searching for someone you could feel loved and protected by. Perhaps that led you to so desperately and easily throw yourself into the arms of the wrong men, assuming that the most superficial things meant true love, meant happiness and security. When the veil of your enthusiasm, and your ignorance, finally peeled back, reality would crash down on you - leaving you feeling betrayed, hurt, and worst of all stupid.

Maybe you shouldn’t excite yourself so much over the prospect of your soulmate? What if it was just another heartbreak? You’d heard these stories before - it could happen. People aren’t born a certain way, they become a certain way as they live life, as they live as their own selves and it was possible to stray so much from your original self that the love you were destined for at birth was no longer fated to be.

Maybe, just maybe, you should have prepared yourself better for that horrible, horrible outcome.

As you had just begun attending university, you had slowly acquainted yourself with the campus. Today of all days, you decided to sit down at an unassuming coffee shop that rested in what seemed to have once been a residential house. The tables were plentiful among rooms strewn with books and old furniture, there was a stale scent from the old paper and wood, matched with some sweet brewing chai and rich coffee. It wasn’t too full, moderately quiet. You thought it would be a nice replacement to your usual table at the library.

You snake through the tables and bulky chairs as you try to find the perfect spot, your hips occasionally grazing the furniture, when -

“Excuse me, you dropped this.” Someone says as you’re nearing a table, and as you turn to see the stranger holding up your student ID, you feel it.

A dizzying, pleasant sensation that elevated your senses to a new standard. Everything seemed brighter, clearer, more vivid, and it all drove you to him, his eyes, his face, his voice, even his scent. Whatever it was, he could feel it too, as his eyes went wide while looking into yours. It was like you were absorbing everything in your surroundings with every fiber of your being, but all of it began, and concluded, in your perception of him.

You slightly dipped backward from the intensity of it all, your knees going weak from the sudden onslaught of feelings, but he caught you in his arms, and it felt so right. Your ears rang, and at some moment, which you hardly perceived, both of you were sitting down on a small couch that he had steered you towards.

It took a moment for the two of you to regain your senses, and naturally you looked towards each other.

“I’m Y/n.” You finally say, looking at him with a beaming smile… until… he casts his eyes downward.

“What’s your name?” you finally ask him. Had his resolve been stronger, he would have resisted the sweetness in your voice. He would have ignored you, he should have left you.

“Jaehyun.” He finally says. It’s all he says, he has already said one word too many.

“Jaehyun. I like that name.” He was probably feeling nervous, you reason, he most likely is at a loss of words.

“Look, Y/n.” He says while abruptly getting up and standing in front of you. “I know what we just felt means we’re soulmates, but I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. And look, this isn’t about you, you’re probably a nice girl, but you should just forget this happened and go find yourself someone who actually wants to love you.”

And after that rant, which left you completely frozen and baffled, he left.

He just left.

As if you had dreamed him up and he hadn’t even been there in the first place - he was gone.

You didn’t understand. It didn’t make sense. You were still dumbfounded and after that encounter you had been so distraught that you just headed home. After hours of replaying the scenario over and over again in your mind, you finally settled to cry over it until you fell asleep.

Your only conclusion was to find him. You needed to see him again, talk to him, and reason with him. What had been so wrong about him meeting you that he abandoned you like that? He abandoned you as if you meant nothing to him.

It’s odd now, that after meeting your soulmate you felt so lost. It was a bit stupid on your end; every day went on to the next based on the hope that you would meet the one, but it never occurred to you to think beyond. What comes after?

There was no splendid meeting, no love at first sight, only rejection. What else was there for you to look forward to? What happens now?

So, after that, waking up in the mornings went back to what they used to be. One horrible day after the other, mustering the strength to start the day with a smile, just in case today was that day when you’d meet your soulmate - for the second time. It would have been worse to surrender to the fate that you’d never see him again, because then the days would become voids; nothingness heading toward nothingness.

It’s funny how you measure time. Time is energy, energy forcing yourself to get up and live, energy spent and consumed, replenished with food and drink and sleep, and then all over again, like a battery draining and recharging itself. Except there is no purpose to this energy, it was just existence.

It was actually three days. A dozen or so cycles of your ups and downs, and on one dreary walk to a campus cafeteria to grab lunch, just when your energy was about to deplete, you saw him.

It was like a bolt of lightning shot through you and you were awake again, aroused from the limbo. He didn’t see you, he was at a table with his friends, and you still don’t know if it was the connection that blindly led you to him, or your need for answers, or just the desire to see if he would accept you the second time around. Nonetheless you approached, stubbornly.

One of his friends noticed you first, handsome, and he nudged the one sitting beside him with a suggestive raise of his eyebrows, a sort of ‘check her out’.

“Can I help you with anything cutie?” Says the first young man.

“Um… I need to talk to him.” You answer, meekly pointing towards Jaehyun who sat near the pair.

“Oh, do we have a date?” Said the second, teasing and flirting.

“No, I need to speak to Jaehyun.” You say a little more loudly, and at this, his eyes raise from the notebook he was preoccupied with, and again they go wide. It was as if time froze when he looked at you, and as he stayed frozen in place his friends gradually caught on to the strange interaction.

“Jaehyun, can we please talk?” You say again, firmly and resolute. It took a shake from a third young man who sat beside him for him to finally react.

“No, sorry.” He said as he buried his nose back into his notes. His third friend looked up at you in confusion and sympathy, and it was obvious that some of his friends had been taken aback by his abrupt tone. But you stood your ground.

“Jaehyun, you and I should speak.” You surprised yourself with the steadiness of your tone since you felt your emotions begin to build up. The heat spread upwards from your neck to your face. After years of being cast aside, these situations no longer made you feel small or saddened, but the anger still managed to escape from you. Indignation - this wasn’t right. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

And yet here you begged.

Jaehyun simply acted like you weren’t there. You gave him a few seconds, the same third friend leaned into his ear to insist that he “say something”, but Jaeyun acted as if nothing was happening. Others at the table looked at you with a bit of pity, another thing that made you angry. It all made you furious.

“You can pretend all you want that I’m not here, but we both know perfectly well that you shouldn’t be avoiding this. At least have the decency to talk to me, you coward.” The tears stung at your eyes and your voice began to pitch upward and shake as your words progressed. Frustration, anger, rejection. The words were spit out like venom, and before they could see a single droplet of the pain spill from your eyes, you had left.

But at night, after you went home and kept crying, it was that same old sadness and smallness that absorbed you.

How many days had or hadn’t you slept by now?

You didn’t count.

How many classes had you missed?

No idea.

Meals and water?

Sometimes when you felt like you needed them, other times when you just felt like it; be it less or more. Drunkenness and candy highs. Hunger and coffee. No decent meals to be seen though. Water on occasion.

You’d been going to the nearby 7-11 so often that a couple of cashiers knew your name by memory now, memorized from your ID. They’d throw you a concerned look when they watched you walk out with nothing but junk food and alcohol, sometimes at unreasonable hours.

It’s during one of these supply runs, when you’re sipping wine from the bottle while walking back to your apartment on a particularly hot afternoon, that someone stops you.

“Hey! Hey, excuse me! Hey!” You can hear someone running behind you. Oh goodness, this is not something you’re looking forward to. Why can’t this wine just be drunk in peace?

You don’t even turn to meet the source of the voice, instead, you find him running around to your front to stand face to face with you and cut off your path.

“Hey! You’re Y/n, right?” He asks breathlessly. You slurp some wine from the bottle, holding it flimsily from its neck while your other arm carries another bag full of more depression supplies.

“Yes.” You answer, regretting you were not yet tipsy. He looks a bit concerned at your state. A stained tank top with a strap hanging off of your shoulder, worn out denim shorts and flip flops, a careless bundle of hair. Sure, it was a reasonable look for the hot afternoon, but in your current disposition, he could tell you weren’t doing well.

“Can we talk somewhere?” He asks with worry.

“No.” Goodness, just move out of my way. You begin to walk past him but he backtracks so he’s still in front of you and he grabs you by your arms.

“Please, it’s about Jaehyun.” He finally says. You wanted to say no, but something compelled you to agree. No, nothing really compelled you, it was more just the ease of agreeing. You didn’t have the energy in you to fight back.

“Fine. Come along.” You say, moving to continue the short walk towards your apartment building, on which he wordlessly trails behind you.

Despite your current humor, your apartment managed to stay clean. It looked neat, tidy, cozy, like it belonged to someone in better spirits. That was something that Jaehyun’s friend found entirely surprising.

“Sit.” You gestured toward the small living room while setting your bag on the kitchen counter, not once letting go of your wine bottle. His friend sat, and wondered how to best approach the subject at hand.

“You’re his soulmate, aren’t you?” His friend suddenly asks and you chuckle before bringing the bottle up to your lips again. “I - I’m sorry that’s not how I should have started out.”

“You’re right.” You simply state.

“I’m Johnny.”

“Hi Johnny.”

“Look, I know this sounds weird, but I felt like I needed to talk to you. Jae sometimes… he’s difficult.” Johnny sighs, “I kinda guessed what had happened and I felt like someone needed to tell you about it.”

“Shouldn’t he be telling me about ‘it’?” You reply flatly. Standing before him, looking down at the tall man, you begin to feel a bit regretful of your coldness towards him. He didn’t seem ill-intentioned, and the more you looked at him and puzzled together his reason for approaching you, you assumed he’d been there to extend a bit of an olive branch. You sighed too, and Johnny saw the firmness in your posture soften a bit. It surprised him though, that you sat beside him, and his heart broke a little as he saw your downcast eyes.

“What do you need to tell me?” You ask in the softest of voices.

“I tried to talk to Jae about it… about why you came up to him the way you did and why he ignored you like that.” You hum in response, letting him know you were listening.

“At first I thought you were just another one of those girls.” He continues, “But Jaehyun had seemed different for a while so I asked him about you.”

“What do you mean ‘another one of those girls’?”

“Well, Jae’s pretty popular… and he’s got a bit of a reputation.”

“I’ve never heard about him before.” You reply, “I just started studying here.”

“Well, maybe it’s best if you hear it from me then. But Jaehyun, he’s not good - I mean he is a good person - he just… does bad things sometimes.”

“… Johnny?” you ask after a while of silence.

“Someone hurt him, really bad. It was the first time he had fallen in love, she was his first everything… and she was sleeping around with people behind his back the entire time, but Jaehyun caught her. She claimed that the guy she was sleeping with that time was her ‘soulmate’, and that it was a moment of passion, but she was going to tell him… just a bunch of excuses…”

“And?”

“Turns out he wasn’t… just another guy she was sleeping with. It took him a while to piece the entire story together, but you can guess how he felt about it.”

“Oh.” You still don’t look at Johnny.

“The way he treated you… it isn’t about you. He’s spent the last couple of years breaking one heart after the other. He just can’t love - and it’s his way of getting back at her, I guess.” Johnny grabs your shoulder and turns to look at you but your eyes still avoid his. “He’s not a bad person. I tried talking to him but he never listens, he knows he’s not right but I’ll try to make him listen, I promise.”

You begin to cry, curling into yourself and Johnny can’t help but hug you. You let him. It only felt natural.

“I waited for this my entire life..” You sob with a cracking and hideous voice, and with awfully wet sniffles. “This isn’t fair! He could love me and you’re telling me he’s just too mean to! It’s not fair.”

“You’re right, and I’m sorry, I promise I’ll talk to him. For you.” His words were reassuring, but you found more comfort in the gesture of it all. Johnny - who you had just met - was Jaehyun’s friend, but at that moment he felt like he was yours.

He stayed there for a while, rubbing and patting your back. You could tell it wasn’t the first time he had tried to mend the broken hearts Jaehyun had left behind.

You lifted your head up, meeting his eyes just inches away from his face. Your cheeks and lashes wet, your face hot and eyes red. He couldn’t help but swipe the tears away with his thumb, and your natural reaction was to lean your face into his palm.

“Thank you, Johnny.” you tell him once he’s stepping out of your apartment, “Thank you for everything.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll talk to him, I promise you.” He sends you one final solemn smile before turning to head out.

It’s odd that now, after meeting your soulmate's best friend, you didn’t feel so lost.

#nct angst #nct jaehyun angst #nct Johnny angst #nct imagines #nct au

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haikyuuuuuhypeeeee · 3 years

Text

Ch. Nineteen

⚠WARNING: Slight mention of suicidal thoughts

• ────── ✾ ────── •

The past few days have not been easy for you.

You’re lying to your friends, fabricating a paper to get out of hanging out with them while in reality you’ve shut yourself in your apartment, wanting to be away from people in general.

Your mind has been replaying the last disastrous conversation you had with Osamu in his apartment. The scathing remarks about his friends and family back home. The anger and disdain he held for you. The staggering accusation he flung at you.

Not to mention the idea of Osamu, holing up in his apartment like you, believing that he’s alone and no one wants him.

Those thoughts, plus the tremendous guilt you still feel from Osamu’s words, has made functioning as a human nearly unbearable.

It’s been two days since that confrontation, and you’re just now able to drag yourself out of your depressive state and out of your bed. You check the time, wincing at the late hour, knowing that your sleep schedule is fucked thanks to the restless naps you’ve taken the past few days.

Part of your brain tried to persuade you to stay in bed, burrow further under the covers and hide from the world. Another part of your brain didn’t care what you did just as long as you ceased existing (it’s a very small part that only pipes up when you’re at your weakest.)

But the loudest part of your brain told you to get up, take a shower, have some food and then you could go back to bed. And honestly that voice was trying to compromise with you. It’s funny how you have these conversations with yourself, as if you’re two or three different people negotiating for what you should do and what’s best for you. It’s easy to get trapped in these negotiations and you’re grateful for the people in your life who can pull you out of your head and even help you understand that all of the “people” in your head really don’t have all of your best interests.

As you drag on clothes after your shower, your phone rings from it’s spot on your bed. Oikawa’s name flashes on the caller ID, and you take the call.

“Hey Oikawa.”

“Y/N-chan! How’re you? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Oh you don’t have to apologize, honey. I’m just worrying about you. And besides, we’ll see each other tomorrow.”

You pause while putting on your socks. “Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m calling. We should talk about when we’re going to the shrine - I talked to Iwaizumi-san and she told me that they’re going earlier in the morning.”

You completely freeze in your movement, socks long forgotten. You pull your phone away from your ear to check the date - July 2nd.

Tomorrow is July 3rd. It’ll be six months since Hajime passed away, and the entire shrine visit and picnic lunch will be tomorrow.

And you’ve completely forgotten about it.

You’d been so wrapped up in your own thoughts and worrying about Osamu that the date had completely slipped your mind.

“Y/N-chan? Are you there?” Oikawa says through the phone. You realize you’ve been mute for the past minute. But instead of answering, you burst into loud, ugly sobs.

“Y/N! Are you okay?! What’s wrong?!”

“I’m s-sorry!” You hiccup. “I completely forgot about Hajime’s anniversary. I can’t believe I forgot!” Another sob bursts from your chest and you bring a hand up to try to stop your tears. “I’m the fucking worst!”

“No no, don’t say that.” Oikawa tries to say over the phone.

“What kind of person forgets the anniversary of their best friend passing away?!” You cry, sobs echoing in your empty bedroom.

Oikawa shushes you. “Babe, it’s okay. Honestly.” His voice is soothing and calming and you feel yourself relaxing, despite the small cries that still come out. “You are not a bad friend, I can attest to that. It’s okay if you forgot, it doesn’t make you a bad friend. It’s better than being fully obsessed with that and that alone.”

Your sobs peter out and you’re sniffling through the phone. “I’m sorry though, I shouldn’t have forgotten.”

“Besides, you’ve probably been really busy with Osamu, no?”

There’s a hint of teasing coming from Oikawa, probably an attempt to cheer you up and make you feel better. But all it does is remind you of the state of your maybe-friendship with Osamu and you can’t help but start to cry again.

“Oh don’t cry, I’m sorry Y/N-chan! I didn’t mean to make you upset!”

“It’s not your fault,” you say through your tears. “I think Osamu h-hates me!”

You hear Oikawa gasp. “No, what?! What happened?”

You sniffle. “It’s all fucked up Oikawa.”

“Y/N, tell me everything.”

Through your shaking voice and many breaks for tears, you tell Oikawa the story. The entire story - you explain that Osamu isn’t a friend from class but he had Iwaizumi’s old phone number and you’d been texting it on and off since Hajime passed. And how you two became friends after meeting in the cafe but Osamu now thinks he’s been a substitute for Hajime and he doesn’t want to see you again. You also recount meeting his friends from high school at the cafe after staking the place out, and how desperately they want to see him and the tattered relationships Osamu has with people back from home. You finish your story tearfully with the awful conversation with Osamu and how he kicked you out of his apartment.

“I’m worried Oikawa,” you say through tears again. “And I don’t know what to do. I haven’t tried to call him or text him because he was so angry but I’m so worried about him, and his friends are here and -”

“Y/N, Y/N, breathe.” Oikawa interrupts you easily but gently. “I need you to take a deep breath for me.”

You do as he says, inhaling and exhaling deeply. Your breath hiccups on the inhale but the motion slows down the train of thoughts in your head.

“You said the last time you saw Osamu was two days ago, right? And you think he was drunk?”

“Yes,” you reply miserably over the phone.

“And he doesn’t have a roommate?”

“No, he lives alone.” You pause. “Why?”

Oikawa doesn’t answer straight away. You’re pondering asking why again when he finally speaks.

“You need to go over to his apartment now.”

Your misery is wiped away at the urgency in his voice. “Wait, what?”

“Think about it,” Oikawa says quickly. “He’s alone, he’s been drinking, and to me it sounds like he’s going through a mental breakdown. I don’t think he should be alone.”

His words finally click in your head, and the realization makes your stomach drop. You stand to your feet, the sickening implication clearing your head. “Oikawa, do you think -”

“I don’t know Y/N-chan, but you need to get over there.” You hear rusting on his end. “I can meet you there but it’ll take me longer to get there than you.”

“Okay, okay,” You rush to your front door, slamming your feet into shoes.

“It’s gonna be okay, Y/N.” Oikawa says. You know he’s trying to sound calm and collected but you can hear the slight edge to his voice.

“I’m leaving now.” You grab your keys, hang up the phone and fly out the door. Before you put your phone away you shoot off a quick text message.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

A/N: 😬😬😬 Thank you for reading!

Taglist Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to It’s [Not] Okay Fic & SMAU (bold cannot be tagged): @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @roro-707 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @cerealfrdinner797 @ara-mitsue @gray-444 @tanakasimpcorner @rintarovibes @jellien @everytimeswift @bongofrito @babucrow @beidouluvr @kozuken-ma @imarriedachef @badkarma-a @reina-de-tay

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nightshade-minho · 4 years

Text

-Blue Book- (10)

Act 2

Warnings: angsty shit, future smut.

Wc: 1.8k (sorry for the short ass chapter-)

You blinked sleepily, a finger poking your arm and insistently pulling you out of your slumber.

A whine left your mouth as you opened your eyes slightly, Felix's face hovering over yours.

"Lix-" You groaned, pushing him away and casting a quick glance at the clock on your wall. " It's a Saturday morning, fucking let me sleep." You rolled over, burying your face in the pillow as Felix let out a deep sigh.

"Y/n, this is important. There's something I thought I should let you know-"

"Fuck. Off." You growled, voice muffled by the pillow.

Felix sat there for a moment, contemplating his life choices. Why exactly did he think it would be a good idea to try and wake you up at 8 am on a Saturday?

If he told you the news now, you'd be mad at him for having disturbed your precious sleep. If he tells you when it's too late- god, you'd be pissed beyond doubt.

Either way, he'd have to face your wrath. Deciding he didn't want such a pretty morning to be ruined, he put it off. Was it the right decision? Guess he had to wait and find out.

He cast one last glance at your sleeping face, heart beating. He hoped you’d take it well...he doesn’t want to see you devastated again.

Mentions of him always managed to do exactly that, though.

He really wasn’t prepared for another night of crying and excessive wine drinking, patting your back as you asked the same question, again and again.

He wished he could let you know you were more than enough, worthy of the world. And he’d be sure to protect you.

He wasn’t going to hurt you. Not again.

***

When you finally woke up, courtesy of your alarm, you sat up and slid out of bed. Stumbling out of your room, you headed to the bathroom, which seemed to be locked.

"Lix! Come out, I really need to pee!"

"Just a second!"

You groaned and rested your head against the door, letting your eyes flutter closed again. Felix was definitely a wonderful roommate- you'd gotten lucky in that department- but he always hogged the bathroom, and it infuriated you.

You still remembered the day you met Felix again. You'd moved back to the town after about five years, no longer wanting to live with your mom and her insufferable boyfriend. As soon as you graduated, you took advantage of your newfound independence to go back to where it all began.

Running into Felix had been a pleasant surprise. The two of you had gone to a café to catch up. He mentioned his need for a roommate, and since then you'd been inseparable. He re-introduced you to the boys, including Minho who you’d already been in touch with. They’d all been friends even after high school and throughout college, their old group intact. Well, except for him.

Chan had moved away just a few weeks after you had, according to Felix. It had been quite sudden, and there were barely any goodbyes, just like with you. Half the guys had been relieved, apparently. Especially Minho.

Everything that had happened back in high school seemed extremely childish, now that you were an adult with a job and bills to pay. However, you still couldn't exactly find it in your heart to forgive Chan. He was your first love, after all...and those tend to turn bittersweet. He'd betrayed your trust and played with your feelings. Yes, you were young and naïve, but you should have seen it coming- you'd always thought he was too perfect for you. Too good to be true...

You almost fell forward when the door suddenly opened, snapping out of your thoughts as Felix caught you, chuckling.

"Take a shower, sleepyhead." He chuckled, ruffling your hair as he let you go and walked over to the kitchen, presumably to make breakfast.

You smiled as he left, sleepily removing your sweatpants and shirt when you heard your phone ring from on top of the sink. Pausing, you inched closer and grabbed it as you shut the door, lifting the phone to your ear after a quick glance at the caller ID.

"Minho! I was just about to take a shower-"

A chuckle from the other end. "Sure, I was just calling to remind you."

"Remind me? Of what?"

"We were planning to go to the mall today!" His indignant voice came shooting into your ears. You winced and giggled, clutching the phone tighter as a loud sigh came through.

"Chill, I didn't forget."

A huff. "Good. I'll pick you up in a bit."

You ended the call, a faint smile lingering on your face. Your unlikely friendship with Minho was one the universe itself probably didn't see coming, in all honesty.

You still remembered how vile he used to be. Yes, he had a reason, but that didn’t exactly erase all the pain and discomfort he’d put you through.

He’d shown massive regret, though. Proved that he changed for the better. Besides, you couldn’t exactly push him away after finding out what connected the two of you. So, you’d forgiven him...

You wondered if you would ever find it in yourself to forgive Chan the same way- if you ever see him again, that is. The pain he’d caused was worse. You’d trusted him...loved him, only to find out he’d been using you all along. That he was in love with someone else, even as he hugged you and kissed you. As you brushed your teeth, your mind drifted, memories made with him replaying in your head. The feeling of his soft lips pressed against yours...intertwined fingers, his arms wrapped firmly around you as a storm raged on, a similar one swirling in your heart.

You shook your head, rinsing your mouth as you reminded yourself that it was all in the past. There was no point thinking about Chan anymore. You had Felix and Minho, your best friends and the only people that mattered, currently. It was all you needed.

***

Chan’s grip on the steering wheel was loose, his eyes half-open as he drove. He was way too tired, and it was probably dangerous to drive in his state. He was already close, though.

He briefly averted his eyes from the road to check the directions Felix had texted him. Yes, he’d arrive any minute now.

His heart was pounding. He couldn’t believe he was back here, years later. He’d missed this town, to be honest. And yet, at the time, his parents’ transfer had felt like a blessing. A way to escape from the pain he’d felt at your betrayal, as well as your sudden departure.

Felix had told him. You were his roommate. There was a lump in his throat, nervousness and anxiety at the thought of seeing you again brimming up. He didn’t know if he was ready.

The initial anger he’d felt when he saw you with Minho had faded away. All that was left now was disappointment, a faint sadness lingering in the back of his mind at all times.

You’d been the one to show him what happiness felt like. He’d felt it when cuddling your small frame- skin pressed against skin, your radiant smile etching itself into his brain. He’d felt it when you took him to that museum, showing him what true beauty was.

He couldn’t forget what you felt like. He’d tried to, with numerous people. And yet...all he could think about was you. Even now, as an adult. And here he was, mere minutes away from having to see your face again.

Just be quick. In, out. Greet Felix, catch up with him a little and that’s it. Come on, Chan. You can do this...

He parked the car, swallowing as he stepped out. This was it.

***

You pulled up your pants just as you heard the doorbell ring. “Coming!’ You shouted, zipping up as you ran over to the door, opening it and glaring.

"Ah, finally! You're late."

"I had to drop Dea at school." Minho shook his head, entering your apartment and heading straight to the kitchen, the enticing smells luring him in.

"Oh. How is she? It's been a while since I saw her."

"She's good. Misses you a little. She asked me when we're all going to hang out again."

"Soon." You assured, knowing you weren't that busy the following week. Following him into the kitchen, you watched Felix flip the pancakes, looking up as Minho entered.

"Hey, Min. Didn't know you were coming today. Want some?" He tilted his chin towards the pan.

Minho smirked and grabbed one of the strawberries Felix had set aside, popping into his mouth and shaking his head. "No, thanks. We've got a movie to catch, so we have to leave right away." You pouted at that, crossing your arms. "But I don't wanna be hungry! Want pancakes." You mumbled.

The two men looked at you, eyebrows raised at your sudden display. Felix cringed, chuckling as Minho cooed at you.

"You're so cute." He pinched your cheek, looking back at his watch. "Ah fuck, we really have to go now, Y/n."

"But-" You looked over at Felix, who flashed you an apologetic grin as Minho grabbed your hand, practically dragging you over to the door.

"Wait!" Felix suddenly called out, cursing under his breath as he remembered what he was supposed to tell you. Fuck, he’d almost forgot.

"There's no time to waste! We'll be back later, Lix-"

It was too late. Felix was secretly glad Minho was taking you away though. Maybe he could quickly get things done with Chan, and get him to leave before you come back? No...it would be unfair to keep the truth from you. He didn't want you to run into Chan on accident, and quite possibly murder him when you get home.

Calming down a little, he turned back to his pan, just as Minho opened the door.

Wait-

Your eyes widened as your eyes landed on the man standing in front of you.

No. It couldn't be...were you hallucinating? Or was that really Chan, frozen in place with his finger hovering over the doorbell?

Unfortunately, it wasn't a trick your brain was playing on you. Minho was staring at Chan too, shell-shocked as the latter's gaze drifted down to your intertwined hands.

A mass of uncomfortable feelings and emotions you'd repressed for years bubbled up to the surface, almost making you want to throw up. This couldn't be happening.

Chan felt the same way. So you were still with Minho? Fuck, the regret in him was raw, painful as it resurfaced. Suddenly, the anger was back.

The prolonged silence was suspicious to Felix. "Hey, guys...?" He frowned and left the kitchen, stopping in his tracks as he saw Chan and you, icy glares evident as you stared at each other.

"Fuck." He gulped, inching closer to the three. "Um. This was what I m-meant to tell you, Y/n. Surprise! Chan's back!" He giggled nervously, the anger in your eyes scaring him slightly as you turned to look at him.

Chan gritted his teeth, eyes still trained on your hands. “I’m back.” He repeated, glaring at you.

Fuck.

#chan angst #bang chan angst #chan smut #bang chan smut #minho fluff #felix fluff #skz angst #skz smut #skz fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #minho smut #chan x reader #bang chan series

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marchtomydrums · 3 years

Text

In the beginning 6

Alex Cabot X Casey Novak X Reader

Alex’s POV:

Today has been extremely long and I’m ready to go home. Walking into my office I see you sitting on the couch crying.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” Your headshot up at my voice quickly drying your tears.

“Alex, sorry I thought you’d be in court. I just came in here for privacy.” You stuttered.

“Why are crying?” I ask sitting across from you holding your hands in mine. You shake your head “Jack fucking railed my ass today. He doesn’t think I’m cut out for this.”

Anger spikes in my body. How dare he? Seeing you hurt and crying because of his words pissed me off.

“I’ll kill him.”

“No Alex, I have to deal with this on my own.”

“But he’s wrong. He doesn’t see you every day as I do. You can do this y/n. He’s full of shit.”

You chuckle at my words squeezing my hands.

“Well, I appreciate that Alex but again I have to do this on my own. I just came in here to be alone. They’re vultures out there.”

“Yes, I’m all too aware. Either way, don’t let Jack or anyone else cause you to doubt yourself. Take it in stride and keep fighting. Understand me?”

“Yes. Thank you.” You lean in to hug me and I kiss the top of your head. As you pull back I can’t stop myself from taking your lips into mine. I don’t stop until my lungs burn for air regretfully I pull away. You lean your forehead against mine our breath mingling together. You stayed like that for a while until you calmed down.

“ Sorry.” You mumbled quietly to me as if you were embarrassed.

“It’s okay. We all have bad days.” I tell you.

“What time is it?”

“7:30 why?”

“Shit! I missed the bus. I’ll have to wait for the one at 9.”

“I can take you home or you can come back to the house with me.”

“I would but I have an appointment tomorrow and the office is closer to my apartment.”

“Okay, well I’ll drive you home.”

“It’s out of your way. I’ll be fine.”

“You think I’d leave you here?” I ask you.

“Get your stuff, I’ll drive you home.”

The drive there is quiet. I keep looking between you and the road trying to see if I can read your expressions. As we pull up I notice it’s not a very good neighborhood.

“This is where you live?”

“Yes.”

I put the car in park as you quickly lean over to peck my cheek and try to exit the car.

“Wait!” I say tugging your arm. You stop to look at me.

“Can I come up?”

“Do you want to?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know. This place doesn’t really seem like your scene.”

I chuckle “let’s go up.”

Walking into the apartment I notice how small it is. The layout is similar to a studio and I’m sure you pay an arm and a leg for it.

“Well, this is it?”

I take a minute to look around. Even though it’s small you’ve made it cozy. My eyes are drawn to the photos on the wall.

“These are beautiful.”

“Thanks.”

I stop to see the blush across your face.

“Wait. Did you take these?”

“Yeah. “

“Y/n these are really good.”

“It’s just a hobby.”

I smile at you as I continue to look around.

“You have a nice book collection. You read a lot?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too. This your siblings?” I question holding the framed picture.

“Yeah, two sisters and my brother.”

“You close?”

“Yeah. But I don’t really see them much since I moved.” You say sadly.

“Umm, you should go. Casey is probably wondering where you are.”

“Casey’s visiting her mom tonight. I already told her where I was. She said she was going to call you later on.”

“Oh.”

“But if you want me to leave I can.”

“No.! I just I don’t know Alex, I don’t know how to do this with you.”

“Do what?”

“This! I mean one minute your nice and you want to spend time with me and the next you’re tearing my head off. I don’t know what to do here.”

I’m quiet for a minute processing what you just said. Mentally kicking myself for making you feel this way. Why can’t I just open up to you? Why do I feel like I need to be on guard all the time? I look over to see you watching me.

“I’m sorry. I’m trying. That’s why I came up here. I want to know more about you. I want to have what you and Casey have. I keep fucking it up.” I breathe out heavily.

“Alex, you don’t have to try so hard. I get being guarded but like I’ve said before I won’t make Casey choose. You really need to figure out what you want.”

“I want you.”

“Well, your actions speak louder than your words Alex,” you tell me as you're about to walk off. I grab your arm stopping your escape leaning in to kiss you gently on the lips.

“I want you,” I whisper against your lips. I can feel your smile.

“Let's watch a movie. And ill stay the night if that's okay.” I ask you trying to prove to you that I want this to work. You nod your head yes and we do just that. As much as id love to touch you and kiss I refrain. I want you to be ready and sure before we do anything. I want to be able to love you the way Casey loves you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today has been rather quiet around the office much to your surprise. Alex has you copying some documents and running flies from here to there. You're about to head back to your desk when you see Casey standing across the room. You walk up beside her and lean over to see what she's looking at. There's a girl in Alex’s office, she is young and pretty. The two are laughing as they talk oblivious to the world around them.

“Whose that?”

“Emma something, she wants a job here.”

“And flirting with Alex is going to help her to get it?” I ask Casey jealousy evident in my voice.

Casey chuckles “I guess she thinks so.”

“Hmmph.”

“Yup. I'm just watching.”

The two of you watched as Alex and Emma talked. Emma must be a comedian the way Alex is laughing. You roll your eyes at the laughter that rolls out of Alex’s chest. Casey seems indifferent about it until the girl's hand is on Alex’s shoulder. Her body tenses up for a moment.

“You know if she gets this job she’ll be

Alex’s right-hand man. You will answer to both of them. “

“So you're telling me I not only work for the Ice Queen but Malibu Barbie as well?”

Casey laughs “that's a good one! We should call her that.”

You roll your eyes at Casey as Alex and Emma are walking out of the office. You both smile at the girl as she walks by before making a beeline to Alex’s office.

“Can I help you two or do you just like watching me work?” Alex asked looking between the two of you.

“Does she work here now?” you asked sharply. Alex is taken back by your attitude and is quiet for a minute.

“Yes, she does. She starts tomorrow.”

“Hmmph. “

“Is there a problem?”

“Nope. Not at all. Do you need me?”

“Uhh no. You can take lunch if you want. I figured the three of us would go out.” Alex says looking at Casey for some sort of explanation.

“I’m actually meeting my brother he's in the city for two days. So I'll see y'all later,” you say walking out the door. Alex looks over at Casey shocked.

“What the hell was that about?”

“You were flirting with Emma.”

“No, I wasn't!”

“Looked that way to us.”

“So you're mad at me too?”

“Nah, you know better than to cheat on me.”

Casey tells her nonchalantly. Alex chuckled shaking her head as Casey walked out of the office swaying her hips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a week since Emma started and she's already on your last nerve. When she's not asking you to go fetch her coffee she's talking to you about how hot Alex is. You've already told Casey to get the bail money ready because you are about to lose it on Emma. Casey assured you that Emma isn't Alex’s type however, Alex hasn't said a word to you about it. All day long they spend talking to each other and laughing. Meanwhile, Alex barely pays you any attention unless it's to run files or get coffee.

It's late in the afternoon and almost everyone has gone for the day. Casey left early to stay with her mom for the night and you are supposed to be riding home with Alex. However, Emma is still in there talking her up. Finally, Emma is leaving but not before talking to you.

“Your still here?”

“Yup, I'm here when Alex is here so.”

“Oh yeah. She's great isn’t she?”

“Yup. She's something alright.”

“Do you know if she's dating anyone?”

“What?!”

“Alex. Is she seeing someone?”

You're looking for the words but it seems that Malibu Barbie has rendered you speechless.

“Umm.”

“I think I might ask her out. She's hot, god I bet she's good in bed too.”

Emma is going on and on and all you can do is just stare at her in disbelief.

“Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow bye. “

You sit there for a minute replaying her words in your head. Jealousy taking over your body. You shot up out of your chair and into the office slamming the door behind you. Alex jumps at the noise looking at you confused. She called your name but you ignore her as you make your way behind her desk. You pull her up on her feet and kiss her. Your tongue demanding access in her mouth. You grab her ass pulling her closer to you Alex moans in your mouth. You pull back with your lungs burning for air. You look up at Alex who still has her eyes closed.

“Your mine,” you tell her pulling her body into yours.

“I never said I wasn't,” Alex says confused.

“Emma wants to ask you out. She thinks you are hot and good in bed.”

“Well, she's not lying.” Alex chuckled.

“Your mine,” you growled.

Alex looks at you with a smile, her eyes are a darker shade of blue.

“I'm yours,” Alex says nodding her head as she leans in to kiss you once more. This kiss is slower this time. Pulling back you rest your forehead onto Alex’s trying to catch your breath.

“I want you, Alex.” you barely whisper.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Y/n if this is about Emma I promise you that was never going to be a thing. I'd never do that to Casey or You. “

“I know that. It just pissed me off that she was thinking about you like that.”

“So we don't have to do this if you aren't ready. I don't want you to feel obligated or regret it.” You smile at Alex’s words seeing just how sweet she could be. Brushing her hair behind her ears you can’t help but stare at her.

“You’re so beautiful.” Alex blushes at your comment.

“I want you and I know that if I changed my mind you’d still hold me tonight. But I want you Alex. I need you.”

Alex leans in to kiss you again grinning from ear to ear.

“Let’s go home.”

#lgbtq #wlw #fiction #law and order svu #law and order x reader #television #writing #stephanie march #casey novak x reader #diane neal #age difference #smut and fluff

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prurientpuddlejumper · 4 years

Text

Out Tonight (Part 2)

K!nktober 2020 Kink Bingo!: Papi

<- Part 1 | Part 3 ->

Summary: After a night of karaoke, Barba teaches you some Spanish, gives you some slightly patronizing advice, and follows you up to your hotel room. (Lo siento por mi español. Por favor dime si cometí algún error!)

Rafael Barba x female reader

Warning: NSFW/18+, Dub-con!! Everyone is enthusiastically willing, but also super drunk.

For @thatesqcrush’s kink bingo!

6,089 words

“So… Rafael Barba,” you changed the subject away from today’s trial. His failure to get a conviction had sent him into such a steep emotional spiral he cried in your arms at the bar, despite having just met you an hour ago. “That’s Spanish, right?”

The vulnerability in his eyes flattened. “Cuban,” he said, already bracing for the “but you don’t look Latino” comments, or worse, something about rafts or cigars. Instead your eyes got wide like he just ripped off a mask and revealed himself to be David Bowie.

“Cool!”

“I… guess?” There were eighty thousand Cuban-Americans living in New York, but sure.

“Hablar… I mean, hablas español?”

“Sí, lo hablo,” he answered with wry amusement, pinching the bridge of his nose.

You chewed your lip in thought before slowly saying, “Aprendí un poco de español en la escuela, y lo me gusta mucho.”

His brow raised. You actually knew more than he expected, which is to say, you could string more than two words together. “Not bad. Toda mi familia es de Cuba, así que el español es mi lengua materna. Soy el primer estadounidense.”

He spoke faster, at a natural pace, expecting you to follow, but when your eyes glazed over and you awkwardly squeaked out, “...Qué?” it became clear you did not, in fact, speak Spanish.

“Let’s stick to English,” he grimaced.

You whined in disappointment. “But that was so hot! Please? Un poco más. Dime algo en español!”

“Algo.”

An unflattering snort erupted from your nostrils, and you started giggling like a manic school girl. Barba shook his head with second-hand embarrassment, though a smile crept over his lips as you continued struggling to contain yourself, pleased at how well his bad joke had gone over.

“Come on, teach me something,” you pouted, leaning towards him, pushing your chest out. “Por favor… papi?”

He choked on his drink so hard burning whisky shot up his nose. “Ay, dios!” He pounded his chest and ordered a water. “OK, OK, bueno,” he put up his hands in defeat. “Hablaré en español. Solo para ti, mamita. Te gusta?”

“Mucho, papi.” You were taking advantage of calling him that now that you’d seen his reaction. He didn’t nearly die this time, but a red blush was sweeping up his neck under his shirt collar. Emboldened, he leaned toward you, eyes heavily lidded as he flirtatiously held your gaze.

“Tienes novio?”

“A husband? Do I look married?” you flipped your ringless left hand back and front and worried about your age.

He laughed, raising a hand to his forehead with his palm shading his eyes. “That would be esposo.”

“Oh. Right.” Your face darkened. “No, yo soy… single.”

“Estás soltera,” he prompted.

“Ah, gracias. Estoy soltera. Y tú?” you tilted your face down shyly and looked up at him through your lashes. “Tienes esposo? O novia?”

“Nope,” he popped the p, staring into the empty bottom of his scotch glass and wishing he hadn’t decided to cut himself off. The sip of water he took was boring and not numbly soothing at all. He had been single for a depressingly long time, in fact.

“Muy bien,” you smiled with delight, and he suddenly realized his years of failure at relationships were, tonight, a positive. It was the answer a very beautiful woman was hoping for. He may have been suffering from a string of humiliating losses, but winning you over reawakened his cocky self-assurance.

“Acércate.” He curled his finger to beckon you closer, and you swung onto his lap. God, you were so close. Your body fit so perfectly in his arms and you smelled like strawberry lemonade from that cocktail. Before he could help it, he was kissing you again. Softer and a little less desperate this time. A little more… something else. He just met you, but the way you made him feel cared about was stronger than he had ever felt, depressing as that was to admit. The one time he had put his whole heart into a relationship, he’d had it shattered so badly he was still picking up the pieces. Since then, he chose relationships that were mutually guarded, partners he knew he would never connect with, and who didn’t expect anything back. Barba did not open up to people. He’d never let himself cry on anyone before, except his abuelita. He must have been extremely drunk to let his guard down so much, but he pushed the realization out of mind as your fingers curled through his hair around the back of his head and pulled him deeper, your strawberry tongue slipping between his bitter lips. He wanted this. He needed it. He felt so close to you, so right—that was all that mattered.

He started whispering to you in Spanish between kisses, phrases you couldn’t understand, some that you got the gist of. He cringed a little at your attempts to reply in his first language, but kissed you more softly each time. You were trying, at least. You were trying very hard to understand a piece of him. The phrases he murmured against your lips grew progressively more filthy, which your keen ears picked up on even if you weren’t entirely sure what they meant.

“Como se dice, ‘fuck me harder’?” you asked in a low voice full of lust, fingers tightening against his scalp.

“...damelo más duro,” he said with a shudder. His cock twitched and he wondered if you’d noticed the growing erection pressed against your thigh as you sat in his lap. What you would think. But you must have noticed, and you weren’t moving to get away from him.

“Damelo duro, papi,” you purred, leaning to say it into his ear, your breath warm and tickling.

He swallowed, heart hammering in his chest. Barba, always so eloquent under pressure in court, could barely form words to express a coherent thought. You were just joking. You must have been. To you it was a foreign language, and it didn’t sound like a real request to your ears. This was just a flirty game, teaching you naughty Spanish. “Y-you are… getting into dangerous territory here,” he tried to laugh jokingly, but his throat was dry. He swallowed again.

You lowered your voice and your eyelids. “I mean it,” you whispered against the shell of his ear. To punctuate your point, you rolled your hips, deliberately grinding your inner thigh against his forming erection. He was so wildly aroused with alcohol he thought he would come right there, but its effects were also preventing him from getting completely hard yet, something he should probably have been concerned about, but wasn’t.

“Would you like to go somewhere?” he said, voice strained with urgency. “I would very much like to go somewhere immediately and fuck your brains out, please. If that’s… alright with you.”

***

The streets of Midtown were as bright and crowded as they were during the day, just a little less hurried—except for two people. You held Barba’s large hand, long elegant fingers laced with yours, laughing giddily in the warm summer air as you raced toward your hotel, stopping only to desperately kiss each other, fingers in each other’s hair, reigniting the flames that pulled you together.

Barba broke away panting, his lips wet with your saliva. The fresh air had a sobering effect, and something serious occurred to him. He had been animated and outgoing all night at the bar, but he suddenly very much resembled the shrewd lawyer whose picture you had seen in a news article. You felt like you’d been called to the principal’s office under the severity of his gaze, waiting for whatever it was he had to say.

“Did you take any pictures of us together?”

“I… might have taken a few selfies,” you admitted, terrified you’d committed a heinous faux pas.

“Good,” he said. “Do you have location data enabled? You should send those to someone you trust, along with the time you left the bar, and where we’re going.”

Gears in your head turned slowly to put together an intelligible response. You opened your mouth and declared, “...whuh?”

“You’re out drinking alone, taking a stranger home!” he gripped your shoulders as if to shake you. “Do you know how many cases never get off the ground because there’s no ID, no proof the victim and assailant were ever in the same room? Those photos would establish a timeline and a suspect, and would be enough for a warrant. Do you know what I would give to have evidence like that in every case? A lot more rapists would go to jail.”

“Are you… saying you’re a rapist?” you said slowly, cocking your head.

He stiffened, mentally replaying his own words. His eyes darted to the side, up, down, and three other directions in rapid succession. “N-no… But you have no way of knowing that. You’re too trusting. No matter how charming someone seems, it’s better to be paranoid and take precautions.”

“Uh-huh. Real charming. You know, it’s creepy telling someone that right before you’re going to sleep with them. How do you say that in Spanish?”

He groaned and looked so crestfallen it impressed upon you how much horror he must deal with every day, prosecuting special victims cases in the big city. How much that weighed on him and made him see nothing but worst-case scenarios around every corner. It didn’t seem so strange now that he was single—it must be impossible to connect with anyone when you live like that.

“I just… want you to be safe,” he said quietly, eyes down. A swelling of sympathy flooded your heart, and formed a lump in your throat. Before you could think twice, you’d pulled him into your arms.

“I feel very safe with you, Rafael.” Your words drew a tiny, strangled noise from his chest, and his grip around you tightened.

The mood had shifted catastrophically, to the point that it seemed unlikely a one-night stand was in your future any longer. Barba walked slowly by your side, lost in reflective silence. Sex or no, you invited him up to your hotel room. You would never get enough of being around him, and couldn’t bear to say goodbye, even if you were only sitting up talking of somber issues late into the night.

But by the time the elevator doors closed, leaving you completely alone together for the first time, your libidos overpowered the gloom and his hands were all over your body, his mouth hot and fervent against your throat. You moaned wantonly, confident in the privacy the elevator afforded as it whisked you upward toward the eleventh floor. You slipped your hands inside his jacket, feeling his solid pectoral muscles stretching his shirt, and he cupped a hand between your legs, kneading the crotch of your pants. Even through your jeans, it sparked a fire that sizzled through your whole body. You pulled at his back, drawing more of his weight against you.

The elevator chimed and the doors slid open. Several cleaning ladies stared unimpressed as you and Barba quickly unhanded each other, stood straighter, and tried to pretend you were dignified professionals just riding an elevator together and definitely not almost having sex in there.

They were far more used to seeing this sort of thing than you were, judging by their almost bored eye rolls, but as you passed them on your way into the hall, one of them muttered something in rapid Spanish that made the other women giggle and Barba trip over his feet, face neon red, and look down at the front of his pants which were sporting a very conspicuous tent.

“Madre de Dios,” he groaned.

Shoulders convulsing with laughter, you took his arm and led him to room, uh… You fumbled in your purse for your room key with the number written on it.

“This is my first time doing this,” you confessed as the magnetic lock clicked and the light on the door changed from red to green.

“Having sex?”

“With someone I just met. In a bar!” you teased, turning the handle.

Part of you wondered when both of you were going to wake up and realize you were acting like horny teenagers—that you shouldn’t be doing this. But you hoped you wouldn’t, at least not until morning. You weren’t nervous. If you had been introspective that night, that would have surprised you the most. The whole confident, sexy Mimi Márquez, Out Tonight act was just a character you put on for karaoke to get psyched up and out of your shell. If you had been questioning yourself, you would have wondered how a shy good girl was having a one-night stand with a handsome Manhattan lawyer wearing a suit that cost more than your mortgage and not having an anxiety attack. But you weren’t questioning yourself, and you weren’t nervous. You looked in his intelligent eyes that were as pale as the underside of a silver maple leaf or dark as a dense hemlock grove depending on the lighting, and you simply wanted him.

***

He followed you into the dark hotel room, which was disappointingly small and shoddy for how expensive it was, so you left the lights off to preserve some mystery. The city glowed through the window brighter than a full moon, anyway. Barba pulled off his suit jacket, tossing it recklessly aside as he prowled toward you. Almost immediately, he thought better of this and found the heap of designer fabric on the floor next to the sandals you had kicked off, picked it up, smoothed it out, and carefully folded it over the back of an office chair at the little desk. He removed his tie and did the same.

You grinned behind your hand. Changing tunes so quickly from ravenously horny to prim—it didn’t surprise you that a guy who dressed as sharply as he did would have his priorities on wrinkle-avoidance even in the heat of the moment. It might have rubbed you as snobbish if it wasn’t so funny.

When he returned to you, his back was to the window, so you couldn’t make out the expression on his shadowed face, but the silhouettes of his shoulders were tense and his voice sheepish as if expecting a rebuke. “Sorry. I couldn’t leave it there. It’s a Brioni and—”

You slid your fingers under the pink-striped suspenders at both shoulders, closed your fists around them, and tugged. He lurched forward, and you caught his lips with yours. Letting out a surprised moan, he closed his eyes, and wrapped his arms around you, grateful you weren’t accusing him of vanity. You held firm to the elastic bands like a leash on him, pulling him closer when you wanted to deepen the contact until he was so enraptured he needed no extra encouragement to shove his tongue between your lips as they parted, his hands roaming your sides, your hair, and over the swell of your bottom, grabbing a handful.

“You really do… have the best ass… below 14th street,” he said devilishly, in between crushing his hungry mouth against yours.

Running down the length of his suspenders, your hands took a tour of his entire torso, enjoying the firm bulk of his chest, and the softness of his belly. You liked that there was something to love there. Gym rats with nothing but hard muscle were painfully dull. His stomach twitched ticklishly at your probing touch and he broke away from your lips to protest, so you continued your suspender tour all the way to the bottom, where the leather straps attached the elastic bands to his pants. His hips rocked forward, and his clothed cock pressed into your thigh. You let out a sultry breath and pushed your own hips back against him, lining him up against your clit to ignite a burning, tempting pressure between you. You couldn’t even kiss him. Your mouth hung slack, and all you could focus on was the friction of his hard cock against your aching cunt. You had to get out of these clothes.

“Bed. Now,” you huffed.

“Yeah.”

As he toed off his leather shoes, you slipped his suspenders off his shoulders and were slightly disappointed this did not immediately make his pants fall off. He climbed on top of the blanket, and you climbed onto his lap, throwing a leg over his hips.

An impressively sized hand with a vein meandering across it curled around that tempting leg, palming the tight denim stretched over your thighs. The hand rode up, found the bottom hem of your blouse and dove under it. You shivered as warm fingertips crested over your jeans and found your waiting skin.

“Are you okay with this?” he rasped, eyes flicking across your face.

“Keep going,” you nodded, the prickles of your skin screaming in protest at the thought that he might stop. His hand worked up your side, exploring new territory under your shirt. Every point of contact sent warm waves vibrating out to your most intimate parts. You lowered your mouth to his and your lips melted against his, pussy soaking through your underwear as you felt his body respond beneath you. His clever fingers found the band of your bra and inched over the fabric.

“Is this alright?” he paused his advance to check in again.

You leaned close and whispered, “I want you to touch me, papi,” darting your tongue just below his ear, and rolling your hips over his cock again. “Touch me everywhere.”

He growled, deep and throaty and thick with lust, his own hips bucking up to grind himself against yours. With your carte blanche permission given, a switch flipped inside him and he dove in, roughly palming your breasts with both hands, rolling the fat and finding your hardened nipples through your bra cups. Even through the thicker fabric, his thumbs circled and pinched the sensitive peaks hard enough that you whimpered with every sensation. Your hips were moving without your leave, desperately driving against his cock while your hands quickly worked to unbutton the front of your shirt. He had become an animal, his eyes unfocused, breathing heavy, lost in voracious need.

“S-slow down,” you tried asking, wondering if he would—if he could at this point, despite all his earlier talk of consent.

His hands were off you in an instant, and he was apologizing and asking if you were OK.

“Just testing your off switch,” you smirked as you finished the final button, and your blouse opened up. Marveling at the man beneath your legs, you unhooked the front clasp of your bra and felt his cock stir at the naked sight of you. Any lingering uncertainty was gone—you managed to score the most principled lay in all of New York sitting by himself in a karaoke bar, and you trusted him completely. “Since I already know your on switch, don’t I papi?”

He swore in Spanish, some excitingly lusty expressions you would have to take note of later.

“What was it again? Cómo se dice...” you teased, tapping your index finger against your lips in thought. You watched his pupils widen as you pinched your finger between your teeth. “Oh yeah. Damelo, papi. Damelo duro.”

Hearing those words from your perfect sensuous lips drove him wild. Grabbing your hips, he rolled you onto your back, swapping positions. His fevered mouth pressed wet kisses all over your exposed skin, heated breath dancing over your neck as his tongue flicked out to taste you. You reached down to curl your fingers into his thick, dark hair. He pushed your breasts, which had fallen to the sides, back together and ran his tongue through the cleavage. You drew in a sharp breath. “Just like that, papi,” you moaned. He took a nipple in his mouth, sucking and circling his tongue over it until your cunt was pulsating and your breath coming out in hard, ragged whimpers, then pinched it between his teeth, drawing a yelp of pleasure mixed with pain. You yanked at his hair and your hips bucked jerkily. Your core ached with emptiness, longing to be filled by his cock. You wrapped your legs around his lower back and pulled his hips down against you to feel more of him. The strangled noises in his throat were practically feral as his clothed sex rutted up against you, valiantly striving to be inside you through your pants. His mouth sloppily devoured your breasts until they were burned raw from his stubble.

He released your nipple with a wet noise and sat up to free his straining erection from his pants. The latching mechanism didn’t seem particularly hard, but after nearly a minute of fumbling he had made very little progress, and you held up a hand and told him to stop.

He whined and gave you puppy dog eyes, but did as you asked. “Is this another test?”

“No. It’s just… those pants are not that complicated.”

His head tipped in confusion.

“You’re really drunk, aren’t you?” You were tipsy yourself, but considering you could at least manage buttons, you had a sudden, sinking realization that he was far more incapacitated than you. He was so well-spoken and thoughtful you hadn’t noticed, but he was a lawyer—staying controlled and eloquent was his job. You might have been drunk, but he was drunk drunk. “If we have sex right now I think that would make me a predator.”

He frowned, cock still straining against the binds of his pants. “Technically, in New York state, being intoxicated does not invalidate sexual consent.”

“Don’t you lawyer this! I don’t care what’s technically legal—you are way too drunk. And I don’t want you waking up with regrets.”

His shoulders fell, because he knew you were right. It was a law he considered a glaring loophole, and he admired you for doing the right thing, but ¡maldita sea! he wished you were just a little less ethical. Deep down he knew he wouldn’t be doing this if he were in full command of himself tonight. But that was why he was so desperate to do it now. He would never let himself go again, not for a long time, and he would miss out on experiencing an intense—if ultimately not real—connection with someone. He would miss out on getting to be with you.

“Well...” you hesitated, watching the disappointment in his eyes displace what had moments ago been confidence and excitement, and tormented by your own unsatisfied ache. “I mean, we can still fool around, right?”

He laid his body down alongside you, his breath still coming in hot, shallow pants. His comforting weight settling beside you on the soft hotel mattress stirred up the coiling insistent heat between your legs. “Is this OK?” he whispered, voice heavy with lust. Blood pounded in your ears as his hand slipped under your waistband.

“Y-yeah, that’s OK,” you nodded. A compromise. It wasn’t sex. Technically.

Trapped tightly between your skin and your jeans, his fingers reached your slit, spreading it with surprising deftness to find your clit. Waves of pleasure exploded through your body as he pressed an irresistible finger to it, making your thighs spasm and lift off the mattress as you bit back a sinful cry. You were almost screaming from just one touch. The sound of throbbing blood in your ears was deafening, and your cunt throbbed in time with it to an unbearable tempo. God, you wanted him to fuck you with his cock.

He drew in a shaking breath as he observed your response, his lust-clouded eyes boring into you with a hint of the keen perceptiveness he used in court. He risked probing deeper, pushing a long digit farther into your panties, dragging it through your pussylips as you squirmed beneath him, then drew it back, dripping, to circle your clit, and smiled as you clamped a hand over your mouth to keep a neighbor-waking vocalization in check. You were soaking wet for him, and it made his erection strain jealously against the closure of his slacks. It had been too long, since he’d allowed himself time for anything other than work. It was almost unbearable having someone moan for him and not be able to fuck them. But you said no, so he focused on what you would allow him to do—on giving you the most earthshaking orgasm you’d ever experienced.

The tightness of your jeans was too restrictive, and you quickly unbuttoned them and zipped them down. “My papi’s fingers feel so good,” you groaned. “I want more of them.”

“You feel… so good,” he answered, lowering his mouth to yours for a fervent, but surprisingly tender kiss as he moved his fingertips over your swollen, stimulated cunt. He traced over your dripping entrance, and pressed in just the tip of one finger, leaving you gasping for more. He withdrew from your pants and brought his fingers to his lips, sucking them clean, his eyes closing as he savored it. “You taste good, too,” he whispered low and gravelly, almost a growl, though not one you would describe as predatory. There was no danger lurking behind those perceptive eyes—the thrill he gave you had a different source. Your tongue darted over his, dipping into his mouth to taste yourself on his broad tongue.

“Is papi going to fuck me with those fingers?” you challenged, enjoying the way his breath hitched every time you called him that. You’d heard it in passing and knew it was something like calling him “daddy,” but you’d never expected it to have such a big effect.

He helped you pull your jeans down below the swell of you ass, not bothering to take them all the way off and interrupt your pleasure any longer. Once he had all the access he needed, he plunged his fingers into you. He observed carefully, gauging your reaction in the way the slick walls of your cunt gripped and twitched around him, and the tone and frequency of your pleading moans. When one finger wasn’t enough, he added a second, satisfied with his judgment as you cried out and arched against him, your hands gripping the blanket at the stretch. “Te gusta, mamita?” he purred, but you were too breathless to give an answer except a throaty carnal whimper.

Adapting himself to your responses, he alternated penetrating you with his fingers and teasing your clit, kissing you hot and fierce, ramping up his intensity to draw louder and louder cries, leaving a trail of wet bruises down your neck. Curling his fingers inside you, he hit a sweet spot that made your legs begin to tremble. You wailed uninhibited and raw, too overwhelmed with pleasure to try to rile him with another “papi.” He sucked your pulse point under your ear, savoring the feeling of your blood racing beneath his lips. Knowing how turned you were, how much he was affecting you was so deliciously invigorating to his ego. As easily as he could command a courtroom, he’d never had the same confidence in his body. Past lovers would say he had perfect technique, but no soul, no intuition for what a they needed—but here you were, cunt twitching on his fingers, moaning over and over for him.

Your eyes kept closing to focus on what he was doing between your thighs, but when they opened you saw how intensely he was watching you. The arousal on his face as he watched was intoxicating. You had never seen such anyone look at you with such wanton lust, and it heightened your excitement.

“Rafael… Raf—oh, fuck,” you hissed, jerking your hips up to deepen the penetration. “Keep going... deeper!”

“Dime, ‘más profundo,’” he ordered softly, but confidently.

“M-más profundo, papi.”

“Eres buena estudiante,” he praised, a smile lighting his eyes as he sank his fingers deeper with enthusiasm. You were getting close, the fire singing between your thighs blossoming outward through your entire body but always coiling tighter in your core, building an unbearable tension that threatened to break you. He rocked his hips, and the heat twisted tighter at the feeling of his iron-hard cock grinding against you.

You squeezed your hand between your two bodies, groping blindly down his stomach until you found his pants and the massive tent he was pushing into your leg. You grasped the hard outline of his cock, squeezing it and working it through his clothes. He drew a sharp breath and for a moment the rhythmic thrusting of his fingers stuttered and paused. His hemlock-green eyes were black with arousal as they examined you. Then he rocked his hips, thrusting into your palm with a low groan, and his fingers pumped into you again with renewed vigor.

“Que buena chica eres… Just like that,” he croaked. His breathing was growing ragged, he was starting to fall apart with your hand working his cock.

He adjusted his weight to free his other hand, stroking the side of your face as he pressed a passionate kiss to your lips. His thumb kneaded your cheeks as they smiled against his mouth and went slack with lust. His mouth wandered lower, teasing your collar bone with light nips to make you yelp and sigh, then bending to take a mouthful of breast. He withdrew his two slick fingers from the depths of your cunt and circled your clit slowly, gently—then fast and rough as he sucked at a hardened nipple, drawing a shattered gasp from your throat. You rubbed his cock frantically, trying to repay some small amount of the pleasure he was giving you. When he plunged his fingers back inside, he added a third, and you moaned at the added fullness—at being stuffed tight, almost too much for you to handle, an intense pleasure threaded through with pain.

“Oh, fuck,” you cried out, eyes rolling back as you felt your climax build, every nerve ending in your body on fire.

“Is that a good fuck, or a bad fuck?”

“Good,” you stammered, barely holding yourself together. “Don’t stop, papi, I’m almost there.” The hint of pain faded into pure bliss as you imagined it was his cock splitting you open.

His eyes gleamed wickedly as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, watching you come undone with every stroke. This horrible week, he had felt so helpless, useless. It made him doubt himself. But this—this he had control over. Your body. Your arousal. Everything that had fallen apart wasn’t his fault; it was because of circumstances outside his authority to influence. When he was given complete control, this was his effect. He could get any result he wanted, elicit any twitch of your cunt, any moan from your lips, and have you singing in ecstasy just from his fingers. Imagine if you let him fuck you, the songs he could have you singing then.

He angled his hand so his palm was rubbing against your clit as he thrust, and he could tell you were riding the edge of the precipice by the helpless mewling whimpers pouring from your lips with increased fervor, how your walls began to invite him deeper, taking more of him until he was buried three knuckles deep and you were still bucking your hips to intensify each thrust, starving for more. His own hips began rocking at a frantic pace into your hand.

“Rafael… Oh, Rafael,” you moaned. You loved the shape of his name in your mouth. It was like you weren’t even strangers, the more you said it. For him, it would have been too personal for a casual hookup most nights, but for some reason it turned him on even more than when you called him papi.

“Ven conmigo,” he urged softly, his hips stroking at a delirious pace that did not match his calm tone. You didn’t recognize what it meant, but the sound of Spanish rolling over his tongue mixed with the wet lewd noises of his fingers fucking you drove you to the edge.

“I’m gonna—I’m gonna...” Your voice broke.

He ducked his head back to your chest and drew a nipple between his teeth, sucking hard just as you came over the precipice and pushing you off it with a violent shove until you wailed out loud, careening into a free-fall steeper and farther than you’d prepared for, your back arching and your walls crashing around his fingers, clenching and convulsing around them.

“Open your eyes,” he said. “Look at me.” You could hear the lawyer in his voice—controlled, assertive. Not quite a command, but your eyes fluttered open obediently. Holding eye contact while your body was being rocked by wave upon wave of fierce climax was too intimate, but he repeated his request low and soft as a tiger’s purr. Your met his gaze and held it. The look of lust on his face, his lips softly parted, lower lip quivering, renewed the strength of your orgasm and sent another shockwave coursing through you.

He kept pumping into you through your orgasm, riding out the aftershocks, until your legs were shaking and weak. The sensation of you coming on his fingers turned him on so much, he only needed to rock into your hand once more, flick his tongue over your breast, and he lost control. He was not vocal as you were as his thighs trembled with his own release, but his hips slowed, and then stopped, their desperate thrusting, and you felt a warm, wet spot soak through the front of his pants. Your gasping cries were stochastic and desperate now, overstimulated—you pushed his hand out of your underwear to stop his relentless fingers, and he rolled off of you heavily.

Laying back on the soft pile of hotel pillows, he slowed his breathing, then sucked his fingers clean one by one with a lascivious growl of pleasure. You watched him, shivering with fascination, and he glanced back at you with a piercing gaze. “I want to fuck you next time. Por favor, déjame a cogerte.”

Next time. You turned away, your cheeks burning up. You never assumed there would be a next time to this, but your heart wouldn’t stop beating at the thought.

“Next time sounds good. That was…” You turned back to praise him, but his eyes were already closed, and a light snore was emanating from his nose. “...Amazing, you lightweight.”

The dizzying effect of all the booze was catching up alarmingly quickly now that you were spent. After the strenuous effort of tugging the blanket out from under Barba so you could tuck it over him, you were completely worn out, and within a minute you were fast asleep as well, cuddled under his arm, your chests rising and falling in unison.

#Rafael Barba #Rafael Barba x Reader #Raúl Esparza #SVU #smut #Barba x female reader #My writing #thatesqcrush kink bingo #I am curious how intelligible this is to someone who speaks zero spanish #hopefully the dialogue tags & context explain enough

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ogcassiopeia · 3 years

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M+M’s Kpop Classics List

Hello all!

As the title states, this is my own, personal, kpop classics list. This is what I would identify as kpop classic songs that I would be able to listen to forever without fail. None of these songs or artists are in any particular order, but you will be able to tell which artists I prefer overall by the amount of songs listed under each group/soloists name.

Most of the groups or soloists on this list are older, meaning from the 1st, 2nd or 3rd Gen aside from the select one or two who are from the 4th. I tried to keep my classics list to the earlier kpop generations as most of the groups from the 4th are just too young in the industry to have made an impact yet.

Just because a group or soloist isn’t included on this list doesn’t mean I have never listened to them or didn’t like them. I have been into kpop and a part of the kpop fandom for almost 20 years....believe me, I have listened to A LOT of kpop and still do. (and I enjoy a lot of it!)

You will probably notice a few patterns to the choices on this list:

I am not a massive fan of girl groups, as there are only 4 girl groups total on this list. I am sorry to any fans who love kpop girl groups...I do not have anything against them, they just usually are not my jam, aside from the very select few.

TVXQ are quite prominent and honestly, if I could include their entire discography from 2003 debut to now, I would. I consider TVXQ the ultimate kpop classic because I am biased as fuck. *thumbs up* In other words, if you don’t like TVXQ or don’t believe they are a classic, (1) you’re wrong and (2) you can leave.

I like random ballads. Like...super random ballads.

No, BigBang and 2NE1 are not on this list. I wasn’t a massive fan of either group back when they were active and I am still not a big fan now. If this list were like...an official “classics” list, I would have definitely included both groups, as they were/are influential still to this day in kpop....but that doesn’t mean I particularly enjoy them or listen to them a lot.

Above comment also goes for Girls Generation. They are a girl group and they were into the cutesy concepts back in the day and I never cared for the girly/cutesy concepts...therefore they didn’t appeal to me.

TVXQ – Mirotic, Spellbound, Something, Catch Me, Keep Your Head Down, Love Line, HUG, My Little Princess, Chance of Love, Truth, Humanoids, Flower Lady, Wrong Number, Purple Line, Wake Me Up, Off Road, Rising Sun, Always There, I Believe, Million Men, The Way U Are, Balloons, O Jun.Ban.Hap, Viva, Dream, Maximum

BoA – Only One, No. 1, Atlantis Princess, ID: Peace B, My Name, Milky Way

Shinhwa – Venus, Perfect Man, Wild Eyes, Brand New, Hey, Come On!

Dreamcatcher - Chase Me, You and I, Black or White, BOCA, Scream, Odd Eye, Piri

Wonder Girls – Tell Me, Nobody, So Hot, Be My Baby, I Feel You, Why So Lonely

SHINee – Love Like Oxygen, Ring Ding Dong, Replay, Sherlock, View, 1 on 1, Dream Girl, Hello, Lucifer, Married to the Music, A-Yo, Amigo

Beast – Fiction

Son Dam Bi – Can’t You See

2PM – 10 Out of 10, Again and Again, A.D.T.O.Y., Heartbeat, Without You, Hands Up

2AM – This Song

After School – Bang!, Because of You,

Younha – Run

NELL – Ocean of Light

UKiss – Neverland, Baby Don’t Cry, Standing Still, Stop Girl, Bingul

Infinite – The Chaser, Bad

Super Junior – It’s You

Wonder Boys – Tarzan

Miss A – Goodbye Baby

VIXX – Scientist, Voodoo Doll, Chained Up

Se7en – Passion

f(x) – Four Walls, Electric Shock, Milk, Red Light, Rum Pum Pum Pum

TEEN TOP – No More Perfume on You

SS501 – Love Ya

G.NA – I will get lost you go on your way

MBLAQ – Y

#kpop classics #kpop list #kpop favorites list #tvxq #boa #super junior #ukiss #shinhwa #dreamcatcher #mblaq #miss a #infinite #shinee #when i am bored this is what happens #i should be cleaning the house

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amarauder · 4 years

Text

Criminal Girl Relates to Garfield - Percy Jackson x Reader

005. criminal girl relates to garfield

PAIRING; High School AU! Percy Jackson x Reader

REQUEST; Not Applicable

GODLY PARENT; Not Applicable

DATE; June 12th, 2020

WORD COUNT; 8053

WARNING; Bruh so freaking much. friends and families being dicks, panic attacks, crying and pubic humiliation, you're gonna read this and just keep cringing because of reader's dumb ass.

A/N; I think I like High School and Soulmate AUs too much. This isn't a soulmate AU. It was going to originally be but it just didn't match with the plot so I didn't. Still this is my first one and I had so much fun writing it. I think I just related to this reader more than normal. I think this is my favorite one shot to be honest. I'm so happy, I feel like I've fallen in love with writing again. The last few one shots I've just had the best time writing them and it's been difficult to stop writing.

TRAILER; Reader is Percy Jackson's soulmate, potentially a criminal and more than kind of cute.

REQUESTED BY; Not Applicable

Y/N was more than ready for this week to be over. It had started out horribly and only got worse as the days ran their course.

On Monday her Aunt's insane dog, that she had been forced to dog sit, had torn up her favorite shirt. On Tuesday she had forgotten her entire binder at home and received zeros on all of her assignments, and then one of her exams for being blamed for talking when it had really been the kid behind her. On Wednesday, Y/N was supposed to be presenting one of the most important projects of the entire semester in her first period only for her car refusing to start. Of course, when her Dad came home it ran perfectly. Thursday she had found out her position as President of the Economics Club had been handed over to some kid she didn't even know, despite how long she had been working for it. Friday, she had found out her best friend since kindergarten had lied to her face and was hanging out with a girl she loathed.

Her best friend ditching her had hurt her the most. It left an ugly slimy feeling in her chest that felt like some kid attempting to learn CPR for the first time, except she was the mannequin every time she thought of them hanging out together. Despite the chest compression, her self-depreciating thoughts never seemed to leave her. It was like she was trying to torture herself which didn't hurt any less.

To say the least, Y/N was completely drained. Blinking took way too much effort, and yawns seemed to be effortless. The kind of tired that took over after crying too much, so stress relieving that the tightness in her chest released, leaving her slap happy.

After grabbing two boxes of mac and cheese and a huge jug of orange juice, Y/N was on her way to her car. The bagger asked her if she needed any help carrying everything to her car.

She stared blankly at him for a few seconds before looking at her three items. He smiled sheepishly and Y/N felt fortunate to have been blessed with more brains than him.

It wasn't until she reached her car and caught sight of her reflection that she wondered if he had asked because she looked so miserable.

His so called thoughtfulness really didn't make her feel any better. In fact she felt worse. It was like when her Mother's wine group would come over and compare stories of who had been more disrespected. From grocers deciding they were age appropriate to buy wine without asking for an ID to being called Ma'am instead of Miss, Y/N had heard it all. Somehow it all had to do with old age and the grocery store. The wonders of Motherhood in the suburbs.

Placing her groceries on top of her car, she tried to unlatch the trunk. It wouldn't budge.

Hmm, Y/N was pretty sure she had left her it unlocked. Whatever. She wouldn't put it past herself if she had forgotten to lock it.

But when she tried to unlock it, nothing happened. Her car didn't beep or flash it's stupid lights, or anything. The battery in her key had been flickering on and off all week, it was the reason her car wouldn't start on Wednesday morning. But her Dad had said it had at least a few months of life left, not three days.

Her stomach dropped and she felt unshed tears build up in her eyes. Not now, not today. She had enough this week.

Her thumb hovered over the unlock button once more. Y/N almost didn't want to press it, because that would mean finding out her fate and she just wasn't that kind of girl.

She did it anyway. And the old piece of junk sat there like it was ready to retire to the car graveyard. Y/N wasn't ready for her freedom to retire so quickly.

Feeling her tears build up again, more rapidly this time, she dug the palm of her hand into her eyes and leaned against the car. Her throat tightened. She promised herself she wouldn't cry anymore today. She promised...

"You're okay, you're okay, you're okay," she whispered to herself, her voice to low to crack. Face screwed shut and her toes curled to will the tightness in her throat away.

The tears eventually made it through which only made her want to cry harder. She was so embarassed. Thoughts ran wild, making her panic harder to control.

How was she going to get home?

How was she going to pay for her car to be fixed?

She really didn't want to go back to walking.

Wouldn't her parents be mad?

What if this was one of those stupid kidnapping schemes that she had seen during a school assembly?

Don't be stupid. Calm down. Focus.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a lady with her dog, eye Y/N warily. A man sitting in his car with his feet propped up on the dashboard and a cigarette hanging between his finger laughed at her despair then ended up in a coughing fit. A woman ushered her child away, who was pointing at her, and gave Y/N a dirty look.

Y/N remained like that until her Mother's advice that she never took to heart rang through her, "Pick yourself up. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Life isn't that hard."

She was right and Y/N wiped her tears away hurriedly.

As the knots in her stomach washed away, a new one settled it self in her chest. She was pissed. Furious at life for making her feel like shit, betrayed by her best friend, grades flustering down to nothing, and a position she worked harder than anything in the world for was snatched away before she could even think of savoring it.

It was just shit and completely unfair.

Wiping her tears, Y/N turned towards the driver's handle and pulled on it so hard, that her feet started to slip and she fell on her but.

She could have screamed, but instead she started to curse loudly and kick her car still laying down. She just about to kick the car for the sixth time when someone said behind her, "Uhh, hey, it would be really cool if you could stop trying to destroy my car? I don't know what he did to you, but at this point I think you're in danger of giving him PTSD."

Turning around, she noticed a blurry figure. Tears were still in her eyes making it hard for her to make out who it was but she could tell closing her eyes that he felt awkward. Hell, her guardian angel, no devil at this point, probably felt awkward.

When she blinked her tears away she saw him look suprised, and stumble back a few steps as if her presence shocked him. Which was stupid because unless there was some other person trying to break into the car, she didn't know why he was acting like she had come out of nowhere.

"This is my car, dude."

The teen scratched his neck, then pressed his car keys and suddenly the piece of junk came to life. She blinked hard, trying to comprehend what had just happened in front of her.

A flash of heat surged up her body that couldn't have came up from the exhaust pipe right next to her. She couldn't have been more aggravated and embarrassed. The guy seemed to realize that, because he shifted his weight to his side as he glanced at her. He was right, she was an idiot.

Quickly mumbling an apology, she ran off into the parking lot. Her car had to be around here somewhere and Y/N had never been more than ever determined to find it, or maybe just determined to get away from this situation as soon as possible.

She found it in the exact same spot, just a few rows away. Her brain kept replaying and replaying her embarrassing moment over and over again, leaving her to cringe and try to shoo it away.

If there was a list for the most embarrassing things Y/N had ever done, this would be on the top of the list. She could imagine herself years later, watching her husband struggling to change their kid's diaper as she laughed and talked about this. But right now all Y/N wanted to do was forget that she even existed.

It almost funny the amount of relief she felt just to have her car unlock. Her car, her piece of junk did it's little half-hearted beep, but it sounded rejuvenated as if it knew what she had gone through just for it.

She started the engine, and then let her forehead rest against the wheel in relief. At least that went well.

She was in the middle of her breather when a knock on her window startled her. Y/N took a few more seconds to herself before looking up and seeing the boy from before looking more awkward than when she he was before.

She rolled down the window, and right when he opened his mouth to speak the engine died.

"No," she whispered to herself, her stomach sinking, "No, no, no."

"Um, here's your groceries?" the boy said with a smile, but Y/N only opened the engine after getting out of her car. He stood there for a second before setting them inside the drivers seat and following her. He leaned over the hood and started to hack violently. The engine was fuming and Y/N wanted to cry for what seemed the millionth time that day. "Did you beat this one up too?"

She gave him a look but he only smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, it just slips out sometimes."

"It's okay... You're a boy."

The boy smiled. Did she just notice now? "Nice observation."

"Do you know anything about cars?"

"I know they aren't supposed to smell like that."

Pursing her lips, she rolled her eyes, "Thanks, so helpful."

"I try."

Letting out a laugh of disbelief, she leaned against the car and groaned. What was she going to do know? Even though breaking into the guys car was one of extremely embarrassing, she had been filled with a little bit of hope. The shitty day would end and she could go home. But now... There was no decent solution.

"Umm, would you want a ride in my car?" Y/N raised an eyebrow and he tried to hurriedly explain, "It's just I saw the sticker on your back window and we go to the same school. My Mom would kill me if I just left you here, so..."

The car ride home was so awkwardly silent, Y/N had even asked for his name.

"Percy Jackson," he said and flashed her a smile that she didn't return. She was too tired, and this guy was too happy. He probably shit out sunshine rays and Y/N just... was not about that life. Plus, his name sounded irkingly familiar, as if he had been in one of her previous classes.

"Nice to meet you," she said after a while, her imaginary Mother shaking her fist at the girl during that silent moment, "I'm Y/N L/N."

"Y/N," he repeated, and she almost looked for that feeling that all her friends talked about. The one where their stomachs churned pleasantly and it seemed that they don't even remember what happened before and after seeing him. All the memories from that day were separate. The life they knew before and after her friends met the one. But there was nothing, no shocking realization or fireworks. She could have just met Zeus himself and Y/N wouldn't be able to tell the difference. "Nice name."

"Thanks," she whispered quietly and played with the hem of her shoe. She had originally placed it on the dashboard but Percy sucked in a harsh breath and then the foot was back balancing on her thigh.

"Ya," and then it was awkward silence again.

Inside her mind, Y/N was cringing. This boy was nice, way too nice, and probably the most good looking kid she had ever seen. It was a wonder how she had never noticed him, or at the very least seen him around her school. Now, she had murdered his car, almost broke into it, screamed at him about her engine, and he decides to drive her home because well, she didn't know. It shouldn't matter because she was just repaying him by being awkward.

"Umm, why are you being so nice to me?"

What? God, why was she such a nerd? And an introvert. She needed to go out more.

"Uh," he said and glanced at her as she pointed to the left and he put his blinker on, "I don't know what you mean."

"I beat up your car, probably would have made the stupid alarm go off if you hadn't stopped me and then you follow me to give me my groceries that I had forgotten. My car doesn't start and you offer me a ride home even though you don't know my name." Y/N finished with a huff. Surprisingly, she felt better as if she had just finished crying and got it all off her chest.

"So?"

"So? It's not very high-school boy of you."

Percy laughed, "Well, I'll try harder to be more high school boy if you want."

"No, I like whatever you've got going on here," She said and waved her hand at him.

"Good. I don't feel like pulling over and dropping you off at a random street. Besides, Mom would be pissed at me. When I tell her what happened today, because I'm sorry but I have too. She's going to wonder what took me so long. But, umm," he paused for a second to collect his thoughts, "When I tell her what happened, she's gonna ask if I brought you home or not, and this way I won't have to lie."

He flashed another smile at her and she felt a slight tingle on her face that her friends talked about. But then again, maybe it was her nose going numb from the air conditioning. It was like this boy secretly lived in Alaska. "I'm a shit liar, by the way."

"Couldn't have guessed."

"What gave me away?"

Y/N stared at him for a second before laughing, "You said it."

He had the audacity to look embarrassed, yet please at the same time. "Well, you looked like you needed some cheering up."

Her laugh died from her eyes as the words sunk in. It was not the first time Percy put his foot in his mouth, sometimes he wished he could actually think before he would speak. He would try, but it's not socially acceptable at his age for long periods of silence in between conversations to take place so he can run over his words.

She huffed and crossed her arms, and it felt like Percy's insides were crushed between the space of her chest and twisted limbs. His hands tightened on the steering wheel. He gave her a gentle little thing that somewhat resembled the corner of his lips titling up.

Percy didn't know her at all, but she seemed like the girl that was disappointed with the world. Y/N was too pretty to be disappointed. Percy's Mom had always told him that the prettiest people in the world were dreamers, and the world never held up to their expectations.

Percy didn't really like that for Y/N.

She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, her face never wavering from the road ahead.

"Umm, what's your favorite animal?"

He took Y/N so off guard that she answered, "A cat."

"Why a cat?"

Y/N hesitated, who questions their favorite animal? "Umm, because I relate to them, I think."

"Why because you like lasagna and are scared of accordions?"

"I'm sorry, what?" He had her full attention now. She wasn't even trying to pretend to be mad at him. Her entire body, despite the restrictions of the seatbelt, was turned towards him.

"Have you never heard of Garfield?"

"Of course, I have." Y/N answered, "Who hasn't? But I thought Garfield was scared of scales and diets."

"He is. But he's also scared of accordions. I have to impress you with my extensive Garfield knowledge somehow right?" Y/N snickered, her fingers massaging her forehead. This boy was something else, she liked it.

"Well, do you relate to Garfield?" he asked a minute later.

Y/N laughed so hard that the back of her head hit the seat and she snorted, which only set her into another laughing fit. "I'm sorry," she said still giggling a little bit, "It's just who relates to Garfield?"

"A girl who tries to break into cars, I guess."

Y/N didn't think Percy had it in him to be so sarcastic. After spending a little under fifteen minutes with him, she had judged him as the boy who apologized despite doing nothing wrong and had fallen in love with his best friend but would never tell them. The boy who lived next door type.

He was sweet, and funny, and so incorrigibly cute that Y/N was shocked that she had been able to have a decent conversation with him.

So, she did what she did best with cute boys: pretend she wasn't attracted to them.

She shoved his arm even though he was driving, ignored him after with a fake pout, and even refused to say goodbye to him as she got out of the car. He had laughed at all of her antics and kept repeating his goodbyes over and over, getting louder and louder with each one.

After the door was shut, she snuck over to the window where the curtains were drawn and peeked through. He was still there, staring at the door. She watched him until he drove off.

A surreal giggle peeked through her, her smile seeming unable to wipe off. Her body thrummed with energy. For the first time in a while, her chest felt light and airy, as if drugged with hope.

The magical energy in the form of Percy Jackson had worn off by the time school started that Monday. She had gotten to school as late as possible that day, her stomach twisting and turning itself. The last thing Y/N wanted to do was see her best friend. Y/N had ignored her the entire weekend, all her calls and texts had gone ignored. Her own actions had almost been surprising to her, she had a knack for forgiving others who didn't deserve her mercy. Y/N supposed she had finally had enough.

Fortunately, she had gotten through the entire first half of the day without seeing her by ignoring her texts and calls, dodging her attempts at meeting Y/N at her own locker, and even purposely coming into Y/N's class with the excuse of office aid.

It was now lunchtime and Y/N was lucky enough to have her first meeting of the Environmental Club scheduled today. Her best friend would never even think of stepping in here, Y/N had too many good friends who would love to give her a good shove.

Even though she was thankful to have somewhere to hide from her friend, Y/N was anxious to enter the classroom. Her nerves felt fuzzy from toes to her hairline, which only made her more nervous. Y/N had a habit of stumbling over her words when she was nervous, and she did not need that today.

The meeting room was just an empty classroom with her biology teacher from freshman year eating a sandwich in the corner of the classroom. Y/N was almost 100% sure he was a biker version of Santa Claus. Sure, he was a lot less generous with his grades, but he looked exactly like the Santas at the mall just with tattoos and a tommy bahama shirt.

The turnout varied. There were the usual, Y/N, Triton the President of the club, this random freshman named Tyson, Grover and his girlfriend. That was about it. Sometimes it was just them. Other times, usually when there was pizza, a lot more people showed up.

Today was one of those days. A group of giggling freshman girls eyed Triton appreciatively, while a girl named Ella and Tyson went over notes in the corner. Grover smiled and waved from the pizza stand and Y/N grimaced but waved back.

Gods, this was going to be at the top of her list of embarrassing moments, right next to having a mental breakdown with Percy's car.

Triton started off the meeting with his usual greetings of putting Y/N in charge. He grinned down at her menacingly once he announced she would be taking over the rest of the meeting. She had never wanted to flip off someone so much that Y/N pressed her hand against her thigh and flipped him off secretly.

Triton moved off the stand and sat on his phone by Tyson and the freshman girls, they giggled and moved closer to him.

She rolled her eyes and smiled at everyone from the platform despite her trembling fingers and her tongue feeling as if it weighed tons.

Y/N tried to focus on the light from the windows lighting up dust like tiny stars and the way the crank from the air conditioning reminded her of boring days in this classroom where there wasn't the threatening future looming over her.

Triton expected her to announce her own failure. She wanted to cry.

Triton was the biggest asshole she had ever met. He had been held back so many times that no one truly knew how old he was, and nobody dared to ask. The one thing he somewhat cared about was this club. He had been President for the past how many years he had been here despite that he did nothing.

As it was her Senior year and Y/N had never worked so hard to keep a club going, she decided to run for President. It turned out that Triton was finally graduating but it never occurred to him that he would have to give up his position. Y/N had never seen him so mad in her life, and he decided to punish her for his graduation.

She took a breath and smiled at everyone. She could do this. "Hey guys. So thank you for coming today. Pizza will be served at the end of the meeting, as per usual." She said and leaned against the podium. Her voice was shaking but Y/N had to pretend she didn't realize for her own sanity. Looking more casual would hopefully calm her down. Maybe looking around the crowd would help. "Umm, today we are revealing next year's President which is really exciting-" As people started to clap, she choked on air, and suddenly she was stuck in a coughing fit struggling to catch a breath. Percy had been sitting in the back. They had made eye contact and then she had forgotten how to breathe.

Hands were on her back, and she was guided outside the classroom then sat down by the lockers. The feet left and she coughed some more but it died down. The tickle in her throat felt like someone was itching her throat with a feather. Y/N had to clear her throat multiple times to try to get it to go away but nothing worked. Her lungs burned as she filled them with air. She felt her hands shaking violently again and she leaned her head against the lockers.

She hadn't even gotten to the announcement part.

A water bottle was handed to her but she didn't move to open it. Pretty, tan hands did it instead, she watched them languidly.

"I think I have a knack for creating your breakdowns," Percy said with a smile. She looked up at him with her hand still against the locker. Her lips felt too heavy to give him a real smile, so she settled for a shuddering breath and closed her eyes. "I don't know about you, but sleeping in the hallways isn't really ideal."

Y/N snorted and her chest fluttered. She sat up then and took the water. Her throat was so parched it burned as the water went down.

"Ya, I'm not one for naps on floors that haven't been cleaned since the school opened either. Just when I start yacking so hard, you have to bring me outside."

Percy laughed and it was so contagious that she caught herself giggling with him.

"How's Garfield?"

"Garfield?" Y/N questioned.

"Ya, you know," Percy said and stuffed his hands into his hoodie. She wondered how often he did that. "Garfield, your car."

"What?" Y/N said laughing as she looked at him. He was already looking at him and Y/N hurriedly turned towards the lockers in front of her again. Yay, now she made things even more awkward. But Y/N couldn't help it, he really liked eye contact and Y/N didn't. End of story. "I've never named my car anything."

"I had a feeling. You don't seem the type, so I named him for you. Garfield in honor of your favorite animal."

Y/N hit him with the water bottle. If any other person had done this, then they probably would have remembered to put the cap on. It was too bad she was a world class idiot. However, to her horror, Y/N had only realized that would happen once it did.

"Shit, I'm so sorry." Y/N scrambled around for anything to dry the water with but all she found was a disgustingly dirty straw wrapper and a dried piece of gum. Y/N didn't know him that well, but she figured he wouldn't want to use that. She settled for using her own shirt instead.

Percy was laughing the entire time, and was pushing away her hands. It was like Percy was made just to embarrass her, as if baby bunnies were going to die everyday if she didn't embarrass herself every time he was around. "Y/N, Y/N," he repeated, grabbing her hands and placing them in his lap, "It's fine." She wouldn't look up at him and continued to look at their hands. He was so close to her that her focus had gone out the window. Her hands were abuzz and Y/N felt another coughing fit coming along.

It was just like her friends had explained. Oh god, it was exactly the same. Her tirade of a crush smashing Y/N with the weight of it.

"Y/N, I don't care honestly," her heart pounded in her throat and Y/N started to laugh nervously. She was screwed. "If anything it will just piss off Octavian which makes this even better." Percy said, mistaking her panic for spilling water on him. Gods, he probably thought she was a freak.

Fortunately, Grover came into the room. She had never been more thankful for him, Y/N had a feeling that if Percy spend anymore time this close to her she was going to either faint or have another coughing fit, maybe even both. "Come on, Percy. Triton just announced that you were President, he wants a little speech."

"Speech?"

Grover shrugged, "That's what he said. Although, I have a feeling that you could tell him that the world was dying and he would be crying tears of happiness."

He patted Y/N's head, and she tried to engrain this feeling into her brain. "You'll be fine right."

She nodded, and his hands left her. It was like a light switch had turned on and suddenly her brain started working again.

Y/N grabbed Percy's wrist before he left, "You're the President."

Percy nodded and Y/N muttered a little, "Oh," under her breath. She didn't know quite how to feel anymore. How had she not noticed before? It must have been why his name sounded so familiar, but she couldn't put a finger on where she had remembered him from.

Percy went to kneel next to her again, but Grover cleared his throat. He looked torn, and looked at Y/N then Grover and back again before leaving with a hand on her shoulder. She didn't shy away but wouldn't look at him either.

Just as they crossed the threshold Y/N heard Grover tell Percy that Y/N was supposed to be President. Her lip quivered, but she pressed them together. She could practically feel Percy's glance at her. She wanted to hit Grover in the back of the head and also wanted to run away. If she wasn't so emotionally drained she probably would have.

Y/N met her fate at the end of the third period. Her next class was a free period, fortunately. It gave her just enough time to wait in line for the food line.

"Hey, criminal girl," someone whispered into her ear. She just about jumped four feet.

She turned around to see Percy. Her chest hurt a little, and she wasn't sure it's from the scare or Percy giving her all of his attention. Y/N settled for both.

"Umm, hey," she said and eyed the two boys behind him. The pair looked almost identical, except for their different sized scars on their face, and the one on the left was taller. They were giggling like elementary school children and making suggestive faces at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Hoping to cut in line with you," Percy says, a plea in his voice.

Y/N meant in a general, in a what are you doing here talking to me? kind of way. If Y/N were Percy, she would have stayed as far away from his as possible. But then again, she knew that wasn't true. Percy could have told her he was half god and the son of the god of fish poop and Y/N would have swooned.

"What are you doing here?"

She gave him a look when he started to snicker, then marched past him and threw out her hand with a smile, "Y/N L/N."

Both boys looked shocked that she had started to talk to them and Y/N couldn't lie. She was just as surprised by her actions. Fortunately, they didn't seem to mind and kickstarted into action. The taller one of the left with a faded scar running down the side of his face said, "Luke Castellan. Nice to meet the girl Perseus hasn't stopped talking about for the last few days."

"Your name is Perseus?" Y/N asked a shit eating grin creeping up her face. Percy looked like he just found out Gaea was coming after him. She turned back to the Luke kid who had turned red from trying not to laugh, "I want to personally thank you for that information. It's priceless."

Percy grumbled.

"Hey Y/N," the other one said. She was surprised he knew who she was. Jason was less boisterous than the other two, but still just as mischievous. He had a a type of quiet confidence and grace to him that made her want to hang onto every word she gave him. Y/N also spent a day with him each month, trying to figure out the balance of money she could spend on the club. "So, you're the girl who tried to steal the piece of junk."

"Hey!" Percy exclaimed, "Leave Blackjack out of this!"

"Blackjack?" Y/N questioned.

"My car," Percy said softly to her then scratched his neck.

She laughed quietly, then studied the three boys. "Are you two related?" Y/N asked and pointed to Jason and Luke.

"Nah, I'm dating Jason's sister but Percy and Lightning Skull over here are cousins."

Y/N nodded, processing this information. How had she not seen Percy around? Jason Grace was the Senior Class President, she had to attend monthly meetings to go over the Environmental Club treasury.

A voice cut through their conversation, making Y/N look over Luke's shoulder to see who it was. Piper McClean, the TV anchor and Speech and Debate finalist was walking over with a smile. Her grin was directed at Jason, but just being in the crossfire felt like a gift.

It seemed Jason felt that way too because he suddenly straightened up and turned red in under 2.5 seconds. He walked away with a halfhearted gesture that could have passed as a wave goodbye.

Luke snickered then pointed towards the potential couple with his thumb, "I'm gonna go find Thals while the idiot is love sick."

The line had moved up while Y/N had been distracted, and she flashed a smile at her fellow seniors then ran up to join Percy. He was already forking out some money to pay for whatever food he wanted.

"They seem nice."

"Hmm," Percy said, not looking up from his wallet, "Oh, ya. I've known Jason since Summer and Luke for even longer."

"I thought you and Jason were cousins."

"We are," Percy said and smiled triumphantly when he found a ten dollar bill. She couldn't help but bask in her contentment. Her breaths were coming in deeper and easier. She felt like she had fallen into Sally from Spongebob's little bubble house, there were no threats to take away this short-lived happiness at the moment. "My Dad and my uncle don't get along. Besides, my Dad left when I was young. It wasn't until Jason came over the Summer after meeting at Summer camp and my Mom hugged him for longer than normal that she told us."

Y/N didn't know what to say. She was fortunate enough to have all her family members with her, it wasn't perfect and her parents seemed to really adore fighting. But something is better than nothing. "Shit," she paused, "I know we don't know each other too well, but I'm sorry, Percy."

Percy shrugged with a smile. His hands were buried deep into his hoodie. He looked like the main protagonist in some cheesy coming of age movie, where a cheerleader decides to scoop up the hot but oddball kid in her Shakespeare class. "I mean, you can't really miss something you never had."

Y/N tilted her head from side to side and considered his words, "I never thought of it that way."

"That's why I am known as a secret genius in these halls."

Y/N laughed, "Known? My ass." She was impressed with herself. Y/N hadn't embarrassed herself yet, and she even had introduced herself to one if his friends.

"No one's gonna know the new kid."

Now, that took Y/N by surprise, "You're new? That makes so much more sense." She leaned her head against her hand which was resting on the sill of the window as they finally reached the front of the line.

It was why she had never noticed him before, why Jason and Luke were hanging out together, why Percy knew Jason. It just all seemed to connect under seconds.

"Hey Rachel!" Y/N grinned, perking up from seeing her old friend. Rachel had been on her sports team freshman year. Y/N spent most of her time on the bench, still did, but Rachel had been there along with her so it was okay. She was a good friend and an even funnier person. Rachel had no licensee, which left Y/N's sophomore season screaming the entire way to their away games.

"Hi," she smiled and Y/N wanted to laugh. Rachel's smile was incredibly contagious, something about it being too mischievous to be anything good. "What can I get for you two?"

They ordered and Rachel nor Percy wouldn't let her pay. "It will make your payment easier for breaking into my car. Then you can drive me home and buy me lunch. Maybe even a little beating up the car sesh."

Y/N looked at Rachel wide eyed. Her heart picked up at the thought of spending time with him outside of school. "You never said anything about a repayal." She objected, and tried to swipe food from him.

He pivoted and held everything over his head, out of her reach. She crossed her arms and glared at him. His green eyes twinkled, and she marveled at how shockingly handsome he was. It truly wasn't fair. If she had his beauty, she would have used it to her advantage but then again, he probably does.

"Well, you kind of beat up my car, criminal girl. I was hoping for at least a thank you."

Y/N rolled her eyes. He had this way of backing her into her own corners. He turned his back and continued his purchase, shooting a victorious look over his shoulder as the receipt printed out.

Y/N stood alone by the cashier for a whiplashed moment. Jesus Christ. What the fuck was going on? She felt like she was meeting Percy over again. He acted so differently than when he was in the car.

It was like she'd been sucked into a tornado, tossed around, and then spit out alone in the front of the lunch line.

He threw away the cover at the trashcan and Y/N reluctantly walked up next to him, the condiments were right next to the trash can. He grinned at her and she struggled not to return it. "We're going to spend a lot more time together, so you're going to have to turn that frown upside down."

Y/N snickered and elbowed him. He grinned and leaned against the trash can. She eyed him and wrinkled her nose. So disgusting.

He quickly got off it, as if he hadn't realized what he was going. Percy brushed off the sleeve of his hoodie then smelled it. It only made Y/N laugh harder and shake her head. "What do you mean spend more time together?"

"Well, one you owe me," he said and shot her a look. The smirk on her face made her wary. "And the Environmental Club rulebook states that co-presidents have to spend loads of time together."

He was walking backwards and Y/N couldn't lie she was impressed until he stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk. "Well, it's a good thing I'm not co-President then."

"What if I told you, you were." Percy said, studying her. Her head shot up so fast, her vision blurred. It was as if an airplane from the sky had just dropped a bunch of wooden skewers right on her. They didn't hurt her, she was more shocked than anything. "Grover told me what happened and I just thought it was entirely unfair what Triton did to you. And you're fun to be around so during my speech I said that you were co-president but couldn't come in cause you were still coughing. Everyone seemed to believe it, so."

Y/N was quiet. She had never been so touched in her life. Being everyone's second choice sucked, but Percy had just admitted he thought she was fun. For a lot of people it wouldn't seem like such a big deal but Y/N felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

"I mean, you don't have to do it, if you don't want to. I can always tell everyone it had been a mistake. You're just a cool person and stuff. I would have a better time being president if you were doing it with me."

"I'd love to, Percy."

"Really?" Percy looked up from where he was tracing the sidewalk with his shoe. She had never seen him so happy yet shy. Y/N bit her cheek to keep herself from smiling too big. She felt tingly all over, it was stupid but she liked it. It wasn't electricity like how her friends had said they felt with their boyfriends, Y/N had never been electrocuted so she didn't know how it felt. But somehow she knew that Percy was more than just tiny shocks.

They were assigned their first project together a week later. Co-Presidency was a lot more fun than she had thought. Percy had used the excuse of inviting Y/N over to his table for lunch to 'discuss tactics'. Y/N knew that wasn't what he meant but she didn't mention anything.

Her best friend had asked to speak to her when she was studying with Percy. It was more like Percy whining about how senior year was supposed to be easy and how his life was so hard, while Y/N asked him questions from her stack of flashcards.

But the second Percy saw the panic on her face, he had asked her politely if she could talk to Y/N later because he had a test next period and really needed the help.

Y/N had thought he was bad at lying.

Once she left, Percy had put an arm around her and brought Y/N closer to him. He whispered into her ear, "I got you, criminal girl."

She smiled at her lap, and risked a glance at him. He was staring at her as if she was some question on a test he couldn't figure out. He held her intimacy of being understood in his hands.

She leaned into him.

At the end of the day, Percy met Y/N by her car. Their cars were amongst the last few left, except for some of the athletic representation and staff. Her shoes squeak against the pavement, but he doesn't even flinch; he just smiles at her.

She knocks his hat down as a makeshift greeting and a way to distract him so she doesn't see her double-checking it is in fact her car. Y/N already made a fool of herself before, she didn't want to do it again.

Unfortunately, he notices because he snickers behind her and jabs her sides. Her heart leaps into her throat then drops down to her feet, like some rollercoaster ride. She has to lean against the car to calm her racing breath. He laughs even harder at that and grabs her keys from her purse before getting in the passenger seat.

Once Y/N feels confident enough that she won't have a stroke around him, she gets in the car. Percy already has plugged his phone into apple car play and is playing some dumb song from his playlist. She faintly recognizes it as some song from the Little Mermaid.

"I don't think I needed the keys to get in here, did I?"

Y/N laughs and starts it, fortunately Garfield doesn't stall, "Probably not." She is about to pull out when she remembers that Percy is still in her car. "Now, get out. I have to go home."

"To do what?"

Y/N huffs and feels embarrassment climbing up her spine like the slimy snake in Adam and Eve, encouraging her to make up some lie so she can look cooler. But unlike them she doesn't fall into that pit, "I dunno."

"Okay, so no plans for the rest of the night then."

Y/N gives him a look that lets him know he isn't even a quarter as casual as he thinks he is. Percy takes it in stride, since Y/N answers his question despite his glaring obviousness. "I mean the only thing I planned on was going home and finishing my book, unless someone has a better idea."

She hopes Percy supposes he's supposed to be that someone, but sadly, he hasn't thought this far ahead into the conversation. He fumbles, stammering out little nonsensical half-sentences, but Y/N is blissfully unbothered. "Don't we have to work on the project?" His head is leaning against the headrest and Y/N wonders how someone stuttering can look so casual, and composed, and pretty.

He lights up then, and Y/N smiles unconsciously. Her heart beats a bit faster when his eyes met her own. She doesn't look away, and she feels this pull. The rest of the world turns into white noise, non-existent and unimportant. Y/N wants to reach out and touch him, just feel his skin against her own. It's addicting and exhilarating. "Ya," his voice comes out deeper than normal, and he has to clear his throat before speaking again, but even then it comes out softer than normal. He's doing this thing with his eyes, it makes her stomach flutter. And even though she shouldn't, she wanted to kiss him. "That's a good idea."

They stared at each other unapologetically as they sat there. Her eyes traveled from his aqua green eyes that resembled the ocean so much that she felt a serene feeling wash over her, as if she had just taken a whiff of salt water. Then, she realized that it was just Percy. Something about knowing how he smelled made her heart pound. She wondered how he kissed, whether he liked to go fast or slow. She knew that with him it wouldn't matter to her. Her eyes moved down to his throat and watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. She saw the tilt of his lips and a flash of a dimple, the dip of his collarbone, the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing.

By the time she looked back up, neither of them moved, even though Percy had just admitted that he wanted to leave.

And then suddenly he was moving. He put his phone in the cup holder, and his fingers brushed against hers in a split second of what felt like life. Then he slid across the seat and slipped her cheeks into his warm hands, his fingers raked through the back of her hair, and Percy kissed Y/N.

He barely touched her. Just a light brushing of lips against hers, the slightest feel of his breath on her face.

It shot through her in milliseconds. Even though it was just a press of lips, her breathing was ragged.

His hands were still stuck in her hair, and he was still so close to her. It made her a little breathless.

They stayed there, just taking each other in, neither moving or breaking eye contact. He looked at her like it was work not to look at Y/N. It's silent until it's not.

"You know those people you just sort of... vibe with?" Percy whispered, his eyes closing as he leans his forehead against hers. Her breath shudders.

She was glad he asked the question before invading her personal space again, her focus always went out the window. "Vibe with?" She giggles a little at the choice of word.

But Percy doesn't, he looks at her with a kind of seriousness that silences her immediately. Then, she thinks about his question, really thinks about it. Y/N was familiar with it. There are some people that when you meet you just click with, their vibes just vibe with yours. Those are the people you want to keep in forever because at the end of the day, they are who you want to be and Percy is more herself than she is.

But instead of staying that she just nods, and their noses brush. His lips quirk up. "Well, you are that person for me, I think."

Y/N smiles, and plants one of him. When she peels herself away from him, he chases her lips and she lets him. Choosing instead to murmur against his, "You're that person for me too."

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