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#im normal about like everyone else i promise its just a handful of people i would slaughter on sight

orchidyoonkook · 1 year

Text

To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 2

Title: Unknown Numbers and Sharp Tongues

Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader

Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Mild Royalty AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn

Summary: You get a text from an unknown number and it flips your day upside down.

Warnings: PG13, mild swearing, arguments

Word Count: 3065

Release Date: February 2, 2023, 1:40PM

A/N 1: She’s shorter but just as important

Series: Chapter One

It’s 12:07pm the Wednesday after the assembly. You're sitting on your bed sketching when a text vibration sounds from somewhere within the blankets crumpled beneath you.

A pencil lead stained hand carefully snakes its way through the sheets to find your phone, and after locating it by your feet, you see a message from an unknown number waiting to be read.

Unknown Sender [12:07pm]: Hey, is this YN?

You raise a brow at the semi-suspicious text.

Normally when this happens, you just delete the message. You have everyone you're willing to speak with in your contacts already, so you know that it’s most likely spam. But the difference with this one?

They know your name.

That being said, your guy friends back home have been known to, on occasion, pull shit because they know you can’t do anything about it.

Though, that has never once stopped you from waiting to see them again in person and retaliating. Patience is a virtue and all that, but you think they’d of learned by now…

So you fire back, just in case.

You [12:08pm]: Hobi I s2g if this is you again I’m sending Nayeon that picture of you from 9th grade with shutter shades on and your ass stuck in a tuba

Unknown Sender [12:08pm]: Oh wow, uhm…no, its not Unknown Sender [12:09pm]: But remind me never to get on your bad side. Unknown Sender [12:10pm]: It’s Jungkook actually... I may have grabbed your number from Yuri’s phone. I hope it’s okay I messaged you

Jungkook?

As in The Prince of the Western Shores, Jungkook?

Well...

This certainly isn’t how you thought your afternoon was going to go.

You figured you'd never hear from him again after Monday’s assembly, like everyone else he’d greeted—Yuri aside apparently. Yet here you were, on your bed, in your university dorm room, having a midday text conversation with Prince Jeon Jungkook of all people.

You laugh to yourself and quickly change his name in your contacts, keeping it subtle. You don’t want someone to see his name pop on your screen and then suddenly have a legion of people harassing you about how you got the prince's number, and if they could get it from you.

You [12:11pm]: yeah, it’s fine

And why wouldn't it be? You don’t dislike him, though he seemed to have thought so. Sure, you don’t particularly like the guy yet, but you're confident he feels the same about you—if he even thinks of you, that is.

He probably just wants recommendations for things to do this weekend or to know where the cleanest washrooms on campus are. God forbid his royal bottom touch a less than sanitary toilet seat.

PJK [12:13pm]: Im afraid she had to explain to me who ‘blueballzbitch’ was when I accidentally saw your text to her the other day. Apparently my reaction after reading it was very funny

You [12:13pm]: I cant believe she still hasnt changed my name in her phone! That bitch!! she promised :( You [12:14pm]: Thats only my name because i told her she couldnt bring guys back to our dorm after 1 AM anymore!

PJK [12:14pm]: can I ask why?

You [12:15pm]: there may have been an incident of a very drunk half naked man climbing into my bed at 4 am instead of hers…. You [12:15pm]: And needless to say, not the nicest way to wake up

PJK [12:16pm]: no I would think not. Though that explains her reaction a bit better

You didn’t even want to know.

She did kick that guy out the second she heard your scream though, drunk as she was. But it didn’t stop her from moping for a week at your new rule.

Tough, you’d had a test the next day, so your decision was final.

Your academics wouldn’t pay the price for someone else’s actions. On that you were and always have been, firm. You’ve even lost a few friends because of it.

But now your starting to wonder why he wanted to message you in the first place.

You [12:17pm]: i dont mean to be rude, but why did you save my number? To be honest i didnt think I’d hear from you again after monday

PJK [12:18pm]: well if we’re being honest…

There are a million different ways he could follow that sentence, and your mind is simultaneously running through all of them.

It takes him a few minutes, and a couple disappearance and reappearances of the texting in progress bubble, before a reply comes. Your pencil may or may not be a bit chewed on the end as a result.

PJK [12:21pm]: I was hoping that we could be friends, or acquaintances at least. I dont mean to come on too strong, its just that…. well you’re the only one whos really treated me like a regular guy, and i’d like to have at least one person to speak to who wont ‘glaze over the truth with pretty white lies’ just because of who I am. Its a surprisingly hard attribute to come by in people when you have words like “prince” and “your highness” attached to your name PJK [12:22pm]: Everyone either wants something from me or something I can do for them, and when we met? I could see you just…didn’t. It’s like you didnt even care I was there and that was incredibly refreshing for me PJK [12:23pm]: so um, yeah… that’s why

Oh…

Oh.

You were expecting anything else. Like literally anything else. He could’ve messaged you saying he wanted to give up being prince to join a traveling circus and was wondering if you knew the quickest train route into town and you would’ve been less surprised than you are right now.

But…Friends? He just wanted to be friends?

You guess you played your part a little too well on Monday. A part you didn't even realize you were performing.

Was it really so difficult for people to treat him normally that the only person who had done so in three days, was you? And it was so noticeable that he sought you out because of it? His professors, at least, would have treated him like any other student…right?

You sit up, sketch long discarded on your bedside table.

What would Yuri think about this? What would Nel think? Jungkook isn't just some guy from your Advanced Colour Theory class, he's the prince of your kingdom.

You know your boyfriend wouldn't care if Jungkook kissed your hand in a passing greeting, that’s the standard greeting for every woman.

But friends?

Regular contact?

Potentially being seen in public with him?

Even a high ranking societal man would feel threatened, let alone Nel; the highschool boy you fell in love with from your tiny hometown.

Biting your lip, you think.

You’re not an idiot. You know if people see you—a girl—hanging out with Jungkook—the prince, but more importantly, a boy—publicly, they will start talking. You know how the media make grand stories from two anonymously sourced, out of context quotes and a grainy picture from 100 feet away.

What you don’t know is if you would or even could handle the public speculation that came with that.

You don't want the media to come between you and your education. You don’t want to be at the center of attention. You worked way too hard to get where you are to have it washed away with a shitty ‘Prince Jungkook's college fling’ article that holds headlines for less than a week before the news cycle changes.

Your credibility would be gone in an instant. And you’d only ever be remembered as ‘that girl the prince probably slept with in college.’

You should say no.

You’re going to say no.

—Wait.

Are you even allowed to say no?

Your phone pings again.

PJK [12:24pm]: i really just want my university experience to be as normal as possible before having to trade it all in for a crown and kingdom. It’s my last shot to experience life as a person before becoming a symbol and im hoping youll be kind enough to help me with that PJK [12:24pm]: but i understand if you dont want to. Like i said in my speech, im not unaware of the repercussions of my celebrity, and its effects on others, both positive and negative. So please by all means, whatever answer you give, i’ll understand

Shit.

Shit!

Now you’ll feel like an ass if you say no, and you know that wasn’t his intention with the message, but you can't help it. He just wants to be as ordinary as he can be for a while. That isn’t a lot to ask—of anybody.

After re-reading his messages about a dozen more times, you find your entire view of Jungkook shifting in an instant.

Maybe he was the spoiled, rich, and plate delivered opportunities prince you expected him to be, but funnily enough, somewhere along the way it was you who forgot that he was an regular person. Just like you had told Yuri such a short time ago, and just like you now had to remind yourself.

Jungkook’s really not much different than someone without all the special features his title brings him.

And with that in mind, you know your reply.

You [12:30pm]: can i think about it?

And not seconds later.

PJK [12:30pm]: absolutely.

A breath you didn’t know you were holding releases.

PJK [12:31pm]: that’s already further than i thought i’d get—if we’re still being honest.

You [12:33pm]: im always honest, you dont have to worry about that. And same goes for you, dont worry about being truthful with me. Lies only create problems, and i dont have the time for them

PJK [12:35]: glad to hear it. I look forward to your answer, whenever and whatever you decide

Gently tossing your phone back onto your bed, you leave the conversation at that. You know you wouldn’t be able to make your mind up without going through all possible outcomes in your head first. And Yuri is usually a good enough listener to pipe in with decent advice now and then.

So, for now, you pick up your pencil and sketch pad, and wait for Yuri to return from her afternoon class.

A few hours later, and a decent way through your third life study, Yuri bursts through the front entryway. Your bedroom door’s open, and you’ve got a clear view of her shucking off her shoes and outer layers after casting her books onto the dining room table.

So much for your focus.

But you're glad she’s back, your conversation with Jungkook from earlier is still wracking your brain.

“YN, Sweets! You are NEVER going to believe the day I’ve had!” Yuri makes her way over to your bed, inhaling deeply enough you know a monologue is about to follow.

“Me too! But you first,” you slip in before the floodgates burst, knowing all her focus will be solely centered on you the second you mention Jungkook reaching out.

“Jungkook invited me to lunch!”

Or maybe not.

“Well sort of, that’s why I’m late getting back. He asked if there was a more secluded place to eat on campus,” she says the word like it’s a secret. Like she thinks he asked for seclusion to have it be a more intimate setting with her, versus a more private space for him.

“So I showed him that little cafe behind the greenhouse that no one ever goes to cuz it’s too far away from central campus—you know the one that might as well just be a part of the greenhouse cuz of how close it is?”

You nod. You were very familiar with that cafe, frequently going there to paint the flowers in the windows, and also, to think. But she doesn’t know that. It was sort of a safe haven for you, because like she said, it wasn’t a very popular place on campus, so it was quiet.

You didn’t know Yuri even knew about it.

Now sitting criss-crossed on the end of your bed, she continues, “Yeah, so I brought him there and we both got coffee, then I got a croissant and he got a sandwich. But YN, get this: we take. our coffee. the. same. way. Try and tell me we’re not made for one another now! Same major, same coffee, next thing you know we’ll be finding out we’d picked out the same baby names.”

She stops to take a breath and you take your cue. “Woah there, Yurls, slow down a bit on that last one,” she makes a face at you. You ignore it. “But I think it’s great you're making a new friend that you have common interests with and are excited about,” you say, putting extra emphasis on ‘friend,’ thinking back to your conversation with Jungkook about people only ever wanting things he could give them. Surely you could subtly help your friend this way. “Just try to remember you have to be friends first before anything else happens.”

She doesn’t miss a beat. “Friends? YN please! We’re practically already dating, that’s three times in as many days he’s asked to hang out,” she closes her eyes, hugging herself. “I can almost hear the wedding bells.”

You look at her plainly and try your best not to sigh.

She must know that this is just Jungkook taking her up on her offer, right? The one she made after seeing him off to the cafe by the biz-admin building the other day?

Before they parted ways, Yuri’d mentioned to him that if he wanted more inside knowledge or help getting around the campus he could ask her. And it made sense, having all their classes in the same area, when he said, ‘I’ll take you up on that.’

You know, because not unlike this conversation, she’d rushed home right after to tell you.

Jungkook’s just trying to get his bearings in what is clearly still a very new experience for him and Yuri’s reading into it all wrong.

You look at your friend who’s staring dreamily at nothing, more than likely caught up in whatever wedding scenarios of herself and Jungkook her brain is creating.

Waving a fruitless hand in front of her face before snapping your fingers, you break her trance. “Helloooo? Earth to Yuri, come back down here please so I can talk some sense into youuuuu.”

“I’m here,” she says, smacking your hand away playfully, gaze snapping to your less than amused one. Her smile falters at the sight. “What’s that look for?”

“Oh nothing, just that you sound like a delusional teenager instead of a functional adult at university pursuing a degree. You just met the guy three days ago and you’re already picturing your wedding together? Because you hung out over coffee twice and showed him where his classes are? He’s still a stranger, Yuri. Can’t you hear yourself?”

Her expression quickly changes to one of offense, and maybe even hurt.

Perhaps you’d been a little too honest, but it’s not like this was new for you two. Sometimes she needed a swift blow to knock her down and she knows this, she knows you’d never intend to hurt her feelings. You always wanted what was best for her, and you know she feels the exact same way for you.

So you’re shocked when she says, “You know you don’t have to be such a bitch about it if you’re going to be jealous,” crossing her arms defensively.

Jealous? You are anything but jealous, and you wonder why that’s where her mind jumps to first, brows scrunching in confusion.

“I’m not jealous. Have you forgotten about Nel? Boyfriend of five years, highschool sweetheart, ringing a bell?”

“Nel’s not a prince YN,” she counters in a tone so even, it’s unsettling. “And it wouldn’t be so unheard of for a woman in a relationship to be jealous of her friend who’s in one with a prince she wants for herself.”

Oh, so that’s where she wants to go with this. She thinks that Jungkook will somehow make you forget about the five wonderful years with Nel. Like half a decade measures up to nothing if it means getting someone with a better name and a bigger paycheck.

Fine.

If she wants to get bitchy about it, so will you.

“Yeah, well it’s a good thing you’re not dating one then, isn’t it? Don’t get so defensive when all I’m doing is trying to help you see that.”

Yuri stands dramatically from the bed, clearly pissed, and storms out of your room, grabbing her things from the dining room table.

“I’m going to my macroeconomics class. By the time I get back, either have your door closed, or don’t be here.”

She leaves as rushed as she came, and you try not to flinch at the front door slamming shut, but do anyway.

You shove your work off to the side, bringing your knees up to rest your elbows on while the palms of your hands cover your eyes, giving yourself a moment to breathe and process.

This isn’t the first time this has happened and it certainly won't be the last. It was a downside between your personalities. You were the anchor who kept her from soaring too high in the clouds, just like she was the helium that kept you from drowning.

But sometimes she wanted to see the stars, and sometimes you were scared of the surface.

Releasing a deep breath, you decide to head out, having finished school for the day anyway. You only had morning classes on Wednesdays—an intentional scheduling on your behalf to have somewhat of a break midweek. You work hard but also know that burnout can kill.

Switching out your pencils for watercolour paint trays, and your sketchpad for your watercolour paper, you decide that the greenhouse sounded great right about now, especially now that you knew Yuri wouldn’t be there.

There isn’t a better place for you to go and blow off some steam.

Tossing your brushes, materials, travel water and wallet in a tote, you slide on your shoes and leave the dorm. The door closes much quieter this time.

Chapter Three: Greenhouse Muses and Surprise Guests

A/N 2: I’m pretty sure this is the shortest chapter in the series (so far) but as you’ve read it’s an important step so I hope that’s okay!

<- Back

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sugawarassoulmate · 1 year

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okok im back with incel!kenma

whats even worse is if you really can’t tell if you’re a guy or a girl, the type of person that gives gender envy. if you have longer hair he just assumes your like him and can’t be bothered to cut it.

OKAY THIS THOUGHT JUST HIT ME MID TYPING! YOU’RE THE BITCH NERD!/LOSER!KURO CANT STOP TALKING ABOUT. THERES TWO MAYBE THREE WAYS HE CAN FIND OUT ITS YOU.

also ik this isn’t one of your hcs for kuro but nerd/loser!kuro x mean!goth!gf but maybe you’re not mean to him but everyone else, people even look at him the wrong way and you have them absolutely terrified. and during your face chats with him you never have your makeup or you daily clothes on. normally just bare faced and in something of kuros. surpising how he didn’t pick up kuros old nekoma jersey

number one: maybe kuro posts a picture of you on his story possibly at your pc playing with incel!kenma. or it could be one of the spicy mirror pictures you made him post because why the hell is the dumb bitch from class feeling up on your man for. maybe you even rant to kenma about this dumb bitch who can’t keep her hands to herself, and why the fuck is she touching a taken man. (okay i think incel!kenma is misogynistic but not homophobic because why the fuck would anyone want to deal with some needy whore constantly.) but that rant solidifies the thought that you are infact a guy maybe not one who hates women on the same level as he does but a man nonetheless. but once kuro posted that picture he figured it out and was disgusted.

number 2: kuro is at your house studying, so to keep your boredom at bay you hop online with kenma, it’s about two hours in when he hears a knock shuffling in the back ground followed by the sound of someone falling onto your bed when he asked about it your response is casual “oh its just my boyfriend.” and he doesn’t pick at it anymore. but then the mic catches a familiar voice in the background. “pretty girl when are you gonna be done, i want to take a nap with you” you give a hum in response to his question. “alright bro gotta leave after this round, so we have to win don’t wanna lose the last match of the day.” obviously you land up losing because kenma can’t get his pretty little head around the fact that he couldn’t tell you were some fucking bitch, you never told him either so that makes you a fucking liar (even tho he didn’t ask). when the game disconnects he’s seething.

number three: this is the worst option really kuro begs him to come hang out with him at his girlfriend, he swears up and down that she’s not the type of woman he’d hate. promises that they have a lot of the same interests. maybe he sends a picture of you cosplaying as one of his favorite characters but that just lowers his opinion, in the photo he can’t even tell its you though. so he’s even more confused when he meets you guys at the arcade. he cautiously calls you by your in game name and you respond with a smile and respond with your irl name. he’s genuinely not sure how to react. not just bc you’re the person he’s been gaming with for almost a year, but with your thick ass platforms you’re just as talk as kuro if not taller. you literally look down at him, can he even talk shit about a bitch like you with out getting his as beat.

anyway this drug out for way longer than intended. but yeah incel!kenma making assumptions and being totally wrong. how funny would it be if he had a crush on kuros gf

bestie.....my beloved......all of the options just sound so amazing to me omg *kisses u*

the absolute torture incel!kenma has to go through upon finding out that 1) his favorite gaming buddy is a disgusting female, 2) she's dating his best friend and somehow he never knew, and 3) she's so fucking hot that kenma can't stop picturing her face every time he rubs one out.

and you just won't let him live you're so fucking mean to him that kenma can't even get a word in when you're roasting him. the only thing that reels you in is kuroo's soft, pleading voice asking you to be nice.

kenma's embarrassed that his friend has become such a simp but fuck if he didn't wish he was on the receiving end of your sweet words.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #kozume kenma x reader #🥀#🥀kenma #incel!kenma

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oldmemoria · 6 months

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hate the ultimate guide. heres a few reasons why.

reused art: I understand how hard it is to make art, especially at that calliber of detail. I'm an artist, I get it. but the charm of the original ultimate guide was that we had these hand painted, unique pieces of art of these characters, it showed a little personality too.

How stale and lifeless the art is: This is a complaint that I've had with the current western artist for years, the art is just... boring. the colors are pretty, yeah, like wow hyperrealistic cats. cool. but what else? can we see their personalities? what's the book gonna be like? the old covers had that charm, but not these ones. at all. (also is that even... i could not tell that was runningnose and littlecloud. i mean. runningnose has water in his snout, thats not what cat snot looks like but go off. he just looks a little soggy ig, not in a perpetual state of sick.)

Lack of Personality: this is a different complaint I promise. I dont like how the art seems to take away the personality of every character so theyre staring stoicly at the camera. some of these characters arent all that stoic. I never liked the firestar art in the last hope because I deadass thought it was mapleshade until someone told me it was firestar. firestar isnt this scary, stalky cat in the shadows. not to normal people at least. if i can mistake your main character as one of the villains in your cover art that isnt fucking good. I don't want to see these cats staring bug eyed at the camera, I want to be able to tell what they're like JUST from a glance at the art. Who is that- harestar?? why doesnt he look nervous?? he looks almost noble here, which is the opposite of who he's supposed to be, he's a wuss and a loser and i love him for it. like girl that is NOT mudclaw thats some random cat i saw at the shelter once, WHERES HIS ANGER? WHERES HIS FUCKING RAGE??? RISE RISE RISE RISE RISE RI

the Characters are hard to recognize, even with the title cards: Who are these cats. who. who the fuck are they. I can recognize a few cats, sure, but thats if I can pick out a defining trait. Squirrelflights tail, Scourges Collar, Ravenpaw's white chest, those are things that are explicitly told to us that these characters have, but everyone else??? WHO??? Like that was supposed to be leafstar?? HUH?? Wait that's supposed to be Oakheart? I cant even tell if hes red, its so YELLOW OUT I CANT FUCKING TEL WHO HE IS. Sagewhisker is described with yellow eyes, yet she has blue ones in the ultimate guide (i dont usually get pissy about eye color but not only are these cats supposed to be distinct from each other but i really like sagewhisker and i would die for her, yes i will gatekeep her from the artist fucking fight me), Bluestar is barely recognizable, i didnt know who half of these cats were before i read their nameplate. thats not a good thing.

Red mapleshade. Why she red. WHY SHE RED.

Leafpool. I didn't even know that was you at first but man they did you dirty.

sol. dude that is not sol no matter how much you stretch it- why is he a tabby?? hes supposed to be a tortie, why does he look like lionblaze?? and even then he doesnt look that lionlike, even though hollyleaf literally thought he was when she first saw him like what?? HUH???

mothwing. why she anger. also why she not fluffy

squirrelflight. i always hated her SE art but seeing the whole thing makes me angrier. like she isnt not accurate to canon or anything i just... hate it. i hate it withe very fibre of my being. ALSO WHERE IS HER PERSONALITY I WANT TO SEE HER BEING ENERGETIC NOT STARING 😐 AT THE CAMERA FUCKING HELL-

yeah, so im not gonna buy this book. i dont even want to know how they wrorte any of the female characters to make them somehow evil or how they somehow make a completely irridemable male character a sweet uwu baby. and everyone has talked about the ableism to death so im not going to beat this clearly still living horse, im just gonna let you find it yourself.

#warrior cats #warrior cats the ultimate guide #warrior cats ultimate edition #warriors #fuck this book

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buggyandthebartoclub · 7 months

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Some SFW Goofy / Silly HC's for Shachi!! For my beloved @mandiemegatron - my beloved Shachi mutual <3 THESE HC ARE SFW MY BLOG IS NOT head the warnings above! Ageless blogs without 'adult' in bio will be blocked if you interact!

Goofy/Random Shachi HC's (Silly/Goofy Shachi in love at the bottom as a bonus)

Music taste alternates between heavy rock and the cringiest shit you’ve ever heard bc it made him laugh ( He and Penguin listen to bbno$ and Yung Gravy, and I think that’s hilarious - pry that one from my cold dead hands.)

LOVES puns. I mean, just look at his fucking hat!

Also loves being cheesy/cheesy stuff. Silly poses, cringe outfits, bad puns, b rated movies, tacky patterns, you name it. If it makes a normal person cringe even just a little he LOVES it! (Again.. look at his hat!)

Also likes cute stuff like Law, but not embarrassed by it (see above point) and will go overboard w it if he’s messing w Law (imagine that one post of them all going to see the barbie movie?? Pen made Law promise for them dress up for it but Shachi got the outfits ready that’s how I imagined that happening anyway )

Either super great or absolute dog shit at games. No in between. Avoids the ones he sucks at like the plague. Is a sore loser and WILL pout if he’s lost enough times (still pouts even if he only loses a little but its more subtle and he can get over it quicker lol)

His jokes/humor are also the same as his style and game talents, His jokes are usually cheesy, and either really fuckin funny or absolute cringiest shit you’ve ever heard, almost no in-between

Loves pranks. Goes without saying really

Has this uncanny knack for finding things people would be unable to decide if they like or not, like say a keychain of their fave character for example, but the character is doing some weird bizarre ooc shit or its some on the most unhinged knock off of the original they’ve ever seen

Will tell you wrong information with his whole ass chest. He believes it. He is a a bit dumbass. Himbo-y if you will. Is shocked when he realizes he is in fact wrong and thinks you’re fucking with him. Always takes a minute to convince him he’s actually wrong even though no one is ever fucking with him when they tell him he’s wrong NOT saying he is rude or mean about it is just genuinely shocked he’s wrong what do you MEAN you’re serious that much salt doesn’t go in there you’re just trying to mess him up haha Ikaku… oh shit Ikaku was serious!! that was too much salt wtf!!

Hes always joking so he thinks everyone else is too sometimes… to his own detriment occasionally lol, always says sorry after for not taking them seriously after with an embarrassed laugh ————Silly/Goofy in Love Shachi HC’s————

Mad dumb when in love/crushing

Im talking giggly, wiggly, ramp up the funny guy act by 10 (at first, he does chill out the longer the crush lasts/the more he’s around them/the more developed the relationship is)

Mixes up words a lot and says lots of goofy shit, esp when trying to be punny AND flirty, his poor brain can’t always keep up

Heartfelt/over the top romantic, gets pretty cheesy

Cheesy is honestly core staple of his personality, you have to love laughing and having fun to be with him for sure because that’s what fills most of your days together if you’re with him

Is a tickle monster, uses it to his advantage to get more cuddles and/or kisses in And make his partner laugh

If he thinks something about him turns his partner/crush on/they like that about him will go out of his way to try and show off even after getting together. Like his arms? Will tie down the top half of his suit and claim to be hot while working.. when its super cold lol - not subtle at all, plays dumb when teased about it

Dishes it out way harder than he can take it, is a bit of a baby if teased too much- will deny at all costs. Still tells you if it was a good burn tho later on

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szilianna · 3 months

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I fucking hate the way i have fun. But at least i have fun. But its annoying as fuck. but people find it funny. But im really not having fun i want to fucking kill myself. Its not funny. But fuck it it is. Me laughing like a maniac then getting scolded for it is fucking funny. Me wanting to hug my crush who doesnt like me back is fucking funny because she laughs at how desperate i am and i know she'll never be mine. I promised her I'd stop. But im a fucking idiot. She kinda lets me hug her and hold her hand and stuff but she likes boys so here goes my luck i fucking hate myself. Maybe if i looked prettier but no diets will change my nose and my fucking arms that are fucking long and it looks weird and i want to kill myself but i dont really want to at the same time because i just tell everyone, i dont have the courage to do it. And i know that very well that no one would be sad for me they'd either be disappointed or happy, like the kid i bully, because im a bad fucking person. Shes annoying as fuck and stinks so bad i have the urge to vomit but we have to take her seriously cuz she tried to kill herself and got into the hospital for it and i didnt so im not even serious about it and i know im fucking pathetic for whining here instead of doing something else like studying for my exams but i couldnt study. Why study if ill end up killing myself one day and if it triggers you fuck yourself i don't give a fuck man the fuck up I LOST A FRIEND OVER VENTING TO HER ABOUT MY FEELINGS AND IT FUCKING TRIGGERED HER AND SHE TOLD ME AND I WAS LIKE DIDN'T YOU SAY I CAN TELL YOU ANYTHING?! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT TRIGGERS YOU IT SHOULD, IT FUCKING SHOULD TRIGGER YOU

Normalize being not overly sensitive and not being a walking wikipedia about how things are wrong. I don't care. I don't care because you dont have shit to do with me except for reading these shits i write instead of sh. Feel bad or good I don't care. This acc for me is like a diary. A digital one that i will never lose. Not your safe space. Not what you want to hear.

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corvusunnx · 1 year

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mushy may day 9: massage/aftercare

I chose massage :))

pairing: aether/rain

summary: aether is exhausted from taking care of everyone else, rain forces him to relax and gives him a massage.

quintessence ghouls have always been known to ease the emotional burdens of others. They're able to take the stress of another being as their own.

aether always helps the other ghouls when he can, relieving all of his friends whenever he can. he's the most selfless of his bandmates, never taking himself into consideration for anything. after a long practice, aether helps dew rid of some of his frustration, since the smaller ghoul couldn't seem to play well today.

"thank you, aether, you're always there when I need you." He looks up with a grin. they both sigh, one of relief and the other, well, frustration. annoyance might even be a good word. dew has always been one to get annoyed and angry easy. it's not hard to push his buttons.

"no problem." aether forces a smile through his teeth. his tail twitches angrily behind him while he tries to calm himself.

rain sees the two and walks over to greet them. he's been keeping an extra close eye out for aether, since he's been letting people take advantage of his ability lately.

"Hello, how was practice?"

"eh, shitty. how did it go for you?" dew asks. aether just stands there, still trying to work on his nerves.

"hm, it was pretty ok. I finally got a part down that I've been working at."

"that's good. wish I could say the same." dew laughs. his fangs show past his lips in a wide grin.

"aether, how was practice for you?" rain tries to pull aether into the conversation. he wants to know how aether is feeling, being told from something either than the larger ghoul's body language. aether lets out a big sigh, searching the room mindlessly as he finds the right way to word his sentence. as if the walls will have it written out for him.

"it went alright. I might lay down for a bit, though."

"hm?" I thought we were going to play board games tonight. I don't wanna play without you." rain's voice is coated in concern. dew left, getting bored of the conversation. he's known to just act on whatever he wants or feels at the moment. a little ball of impulses.

rain turns to leave himself after trying to talk to aether a bit, but after a bit of trying he gave up.

"aether, I can tell taking care of everyone has been messing with you lately. if you don't go easier on yourself I'll make sure you relax. I hate seeing you like this."

"no, rain I promise im-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer. I want to see you being your normal happy self."

aether sighs knowing he's fighting a losing battle. the water ghoul leaves, the quiet sound of his leather boots tapping against the marble floors. he leads himself to his room and lays down, finally starting to calm down from the frustration he took from dew. the stress he's had still remains, everything seeming to just pile up instead of eventually fading away. maybe rain's right. maybe he's been worrying too much about the others to properly take care of himself. it might not be so bad to listen to rain.

the next day aether is still in the same state as he fell asleep in. bags begin to form under his eyes, his tail dragging on the floor behind him. rain knocks on the door to make sure aether is awake and offer to walk with him to breakfast. aether doesn't know, but rain is going to make today flow as nicely for aether is possible. he asked the rest of the ghouls to make sure they relax today too, to prevent any more stress being inflicted on aether.

"morning, sleeping beauty. you woke a bit later than usual today." rains soft voice welcomes aether when he opens the door, rubbing his eyes.

"good morning, rain. what time is it?"

"almost 11 am."

"Oh, Yeah.. that's a bit later than usual, sorry."

"Its ok! I was a bit busy thus morning anyway, so it works out. do you want to get some breakfast with me?"

"I'd love to." aether smiles, taking rain's hand. they walk together through the hallways, light glimmering from the soft windows they pass. the natural lighting is enough not to need anything else, and the colors from the stained glass enhance the building's beauty. the two ghouls talk about whatever nonsense comes into mind, laughing and smiling with each other. rain is happy to see aether giving a genuine smile. it's the first he's seen for a few days. he wishes he could take a picture, just to be able to stare at it longer.

they find their way to the kitchen and grab whatever food the others didn't get to. unfortunately all of the muffins were gone. dew probably ate them, knowing the little bottomless pit he is, especially when it comes to sweets. rain hands aether a banana smoothie, one he asked a sister of sin to make. he sees her in the kitchen often, so he was sure to ask her to make one. he knows those are aether's favorite, and wanted to be able to surprise him.

"this is for you. I told one of the sisters to make it."

"thank you! you're always so kind." aether's face lights up and he begins to sip on it.

"how about we go outside and eat? maybe by the pond." rain suggests with a smile written on his face. aether gives a moment of consideration before agreeing.

they sit on the dock, out behind the ministry. the sun's rays hit the water perfectly, making the tiny droplets sparkle in golden hues. rain fights the urge to dive in and swim, knowing he's doing this for aether. he wants aether to enjoy the soothing ripples of water, lapping at the ground nearby.

ignoring the food he got, rain positions himself to sit behind aether, trailing his hands along aether's broad shoulders.

"your shoulders are so stiff, aeth! no wonder you've been so cranky lately!" rain chuckles, now forming near circular motions with his wrists in attempt to ease the muscles his hands cover. aether purrs at the gentle rubbing of rain's hands along his shoulders, sighing at the relief. his feet dangle just above the deep blue water, the sounds of the waves helping calm him. rain always knows how to get someone to relax. it's like it's in his nature, to be so peaceful, and able to give others that same peace.

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wooahaes · 2 years

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feeling that way about sex (or smut) isn't stupid. so don't feel like its weird. and its not not normal. just as there's a ton of people who might have sex on the first week of dating, there's people out there who would wait much longer. with the amount of people on this earth, i promise you that a great handful of people would be willing to wait for you until you feel completely reassured. and maybe this is me thinking hopefully, but you're not abnormal for feeling this way, the way you feel is completely valid. it's hard but try thinking on the bright side of things! you're telling me that there is about 7.8 billion people in this world and not a single one would be willing to wait? keep ur head up <3 and i totally understand the concept of doing intimate things without it turning into sex, the bathing together hc was really cute. so continue to post soft domestic things like that because u are not the only one who feels this way :) i hope this also doesn't sound too bossy 😭 i'm rereading it thinking i might sound a bit harsh but imagine someone with a soft and comforting voice saying this to you because tone conveyed through text is pretty hard sometimes (but anyways... enough of me rambling) i hope u feel better

gonna put all of my response under a readmore bc i can already tell i have thoughts lol sdfkhsdf

i think the way society talks about sex a lot now is like... basically tipping it hard into the other direction of things. it feels like it used to be a taboo topic that no one ever spoke about because it's a private thing, and now it feels like people have gone entirely in the idea of sex being something that should be 100% open and if you try to have a private life, you're a prude. if you wait, you're prudish and boring. i fully know it's not everyone (i have friends who are sexually active and don't give me shit for not being bc they recognize that being sex positive is the decision to choose whether you want to or not and getting support either way).

i think it's just discouraging to be someone who like... knows i can't just do that sort of thing without knowing i'm not going to get fucked over again by someone who just wants to get off and feels some need to pull someone else into it bc they know someone's vulnerable. that i'm not going to trust the wrong person again and walk away used again. it just feels like no one's going to hear that and want to stay because it's baggage, and that anyone who stays is going to eventually walk away because i took too long.

you're fine, anon, don't worry. it kinda helps until my mind starts spiraling a little (which i deleted out from this ask) and im just... a mess, i guess. i like writing domestic things, though. it's nice to just have non-sexual intimacy in my fics.

i literally have nothing against writers who write smut (as long as they're not hardcore glorifying shitty behaviors--it's one thing to explore those kinds of things in writing, it's another to promote it like it's something good and condoning people who actively want it because fucking trust me, i've seen that shit before), some of my mutuals do and i love them even if i have to hardcore avoid tht sort of thing sometimes (it rly depends on my mental state on whether i can like... cope with it lol). i just want more non-sexual intimacy in fics, y'know? i don't always want to read about getting dick when the prompt involved giving someone a massage or something. that's good for the people who do want that sort of thing, but not everyone does and that's okay.

although if someone does take an innocent/fluffy/domestic prompt and turn it into smut with zero warnings anywhere, i will bite them to death. tag your content correctly. thank u.

anyway thank u for taking the time to write this anon. i appreciate it a lot <3

#wooahaes.ask #asks.anon #ask to tag

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onmymasa22 · 4 months

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I am over the moon grateful to have been able to stay with family during the war. To be a jew anywhere is not simple right now, and its easiest to breathe in a home. And with that i am also really grateful to be If i wrote a book about falling in love with someone i cant have, the last lines would go like this:

You dont need to be angry with people. We have this idea that if someone wrongs ou, you are supposed to rave war. But just because i dont react, doesnt mean that what u did wasok. U r an idiot. I have moved on from that. How i react wont make you more or lessthat what i know u r. All it does is wastes my time. But make no mistake, kust be ause i choose not to respond to u,doesnt mean ur good.

And i told him, as chilly november wind blew, as we sat on the bus stop bench. 11am, a lit cigarette in my hand. I told him that i believed with my whole being that we would meet in a different lifetime. The feeling i got from him was that we knew eachother. An instant connection. He felt like a version of home. I knew that in a past life, we were married. We were so extatically happy together. That couple that disgusts you and simultaniously makes you believe in love. That kind of love. We were lying in bed, and you asked me if i thought we'd love eachother forever. And i promised that id love you for a thousand lifetimes. And here we are now. And i love you, im fulfilling a promise i made, but being with you is not going to happen in this lifetime

Im happiest when im there alone

Im in a mood of smoking weed with friends. Drinking vodka cranberry and watching a stupid movie.

Watch indiana johns something something lost ark... can someone explain to me why its known for being about good versus evil... the nazis are evil, but then the ark goes to the americans which is pretty mediocre... cuz indy wanted it to be something and america put it in the closet.

To everyone whos personality is empathetic but quiet. Where you're not going to post or talk about everyone you feel connected to. Those who fall apart from seeing pictures or images of people you dont eben need to know to feel as awful as anyone else. To those who are seasonally depressed anyway and the war doesn't help. To those who knowone will ever know just how many souls you connect to you because all you need is a voice, a picture, a video and you feel like you know them. To those who conside themselves a leg and the person who we lost an arm, who feel the loss, who understand how weird it is to be sorry for your loss,

I want a degree and then to get a job while looking for my dream job. I want a little apartment outside of the city.

Get a job

Live outside the city

Move in the summer

Get a job and work 4 times a week as a student

Live off of my money, start living my life

Work in rishon for the year- make up the classes

13&13 or 12&12

Weddings and funerals both have a special way of polarising people. You either know them or you dont. You were closer friends versus not so close. I always thought it was weird the feeling people get by being closer to an event, theres a justification that always happens where youre allowed to be extra happy or upset the closer you are. It sounds weird, but i always found the energies at celebrations and tragedies a curiosity. But for the empaths who feel it all but dont talk alot, who only need a video, a picture, a voice, to feel "unjustifiably" affected by a loss in our nation. Where you feel it all but noone says "im so sorry for your loss" cuz why should they. Where you find yourself wishing you knew them cuz then it wouldnt be so weird when you cry, people would just understand. Im gonna tell you: you are normal. Whether you knew the person, and whether you didnt know the person, wherever you are on that spectrum, i am so sorry for your loss.

You know as jews we kind of are a part of one body, and i might be a leg, and a lost person is an arm and i feel

Other girls might have been friends with a bunch of guys. Been really gross with guys. Bikinis on the beach, every night partying, friends and cars. India and sinai. Other girls might miss stuff like that. But do u know what i miss? I miss how i met ur mother marathons. I miss ordering pizza and eating way too much. I miss talking through greys anatomy about great scenes or whats medically correct. I miss going out to buy candy in onesies. I miss the one time drinking and watching the stupidest movie known to man. I slept so good that night. I miss the first time i ever smoked weed. I was in a bad mood, and the weed made me forget, and i stayed in a chill mood that whole night. I miss dancing on the kibbutz, we all secretly glt drunk at 10am and spent the day dancing. I miss the birthday party my pants caught on fire. We were under a bridge and it started raining and we were all soaked and just started dancing our butts off in the pouring rain at 3am. I miss the first day i felt pretty. The day i could look at myself and didnt want to hide in ramat gan. I miss the fireworks when the arab guy kissed me. The first guy i liked kissing me. Wjen he asked for my number. I miss my 21st birthday birthday where i felt so much gdly presence i was floating and gave out flowers at the hospital. I miss my first time in israel meeting the israeli soldiers. My life may not have the same amount of pictures as everyone. I dont care what i wore that day. But i had a spectacular life. Mostly i miss the calm of sitting abd eating pizza and watching tv with friends. Thats what i love the most. Ive had loud obnoxious in your face kind of adventure. Not the same adventure as everyone else. And maybe theure jealous of me- i had a crazy adventurous life. I lived in California knowing noone. I never really had an apartment- its too adulty for me. Its ok that their life seems so great. It isnt. I dint want it. I want my life. My life, with its regrets, is incredible. Its a story of a girl who knew it would get better. And then it did. It was spectacular.

A millionaire businessman needs to go to europe for two weeks. He goes to the bank and says id like to take out a loan for 500 dollars, im going to europe for two weeks. They need collateral so he says heres the key to my new jaguar. Ok, he goes to europe. Comes back two weeks later, back to the bank. He says whats the interest i owe they say 13.50. He gives them the 500 dollars back. He pays them the 13.50. He gets his keys back. The bank says mr businessman, if you're rich enough to have a jaguar, why did you need to take out a loan for 500 dollars? The business guy says where else could i have parked my car in Manhattan for 13.50 for two weeks

I want written on a teeshirt:

You can treat me like crap. You probably wont go up in flames or melt. Youll just have to deal with it in your next reincarnation while im in gan eden. But you are totally welcome to make the wrong decision. Thats you free choice.

I bought a perfume from giorgio armani a year and a half ago, my first time in italy. I wore it everyday and enjoyed smelling fresh- shampoo meets counter cleaner. I loved it so much that this past summer i finished the 80 dollar bottle. For me, perfume and mascara are an everyday thing that helps me feel alive and ready to go out. Before going out, i spray it on, and my favorite compliment is man, u smell good. I havent worn perfume for months. Definitely since the war started, its turned life upside down and i really havent thought about perfume. It seemed so vain. But for my birthday, i got a new bottle of the same lemon counter cleaner perfume, and i sprayed it today,and it just makes me so happy. Happy thati have t been in a while. Its like the perfume makes me feel ok. Like im ok. I can start the day. It just made me fall inlove with myself, and remember when life was just going about the day, hanging out with friends, late night car rides, dinners, sweaters, going to school, thrift shopping, beach days. When i felt ok. This is so important. It was a birthday that i wish i could tell myself the last like 4 birthdays- u will hve a birthday that makes up for all of it. Not because its some blow out birthday,but it actually was my favorite birthday since i was 20 and gave out fowers at the hospital. This birthday was just good. I took it gracefully. I wanted cupcakes and perfume. Guy texted me and that made me feel the best. Some friends wrote on my facebook page, some friends texted me. I just was quietly happy. Guy saying when can we meet up really made my day. I just felt loved by people likd i deserve the best. A guy will comd who deserves me. Who loves everything about me. Who will accept my faults and i can be honest with. Someone who sees me for who i am. Maybe i am someone who affects people around me. Im someone people remember.

Why do people have free choice to be an ass.

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niconicosenpai · 2 years

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how have i not just gotten over this yet.. why do i get in my own head when I’m by myself

what fucking happened to us.. i just can’t wrap my head around how this is real.. i wish you could see things from my point of view

i can agree i say shit that’s contradicting but i really did love you, maybe more than myself even and that’s not really believable given my reaction to this.. i just don’t see how giving up proves i care about you or shows that i love you.. it’s too late to fix and that reality is setting in harder every day and the saddest part is i know you don’t think about me or miss me and that’s just really heavy and im dealing with it on my own this time and its consuming me whenever it gets a chance.. my entire world has been flipped upside down and im supposed to just continue everyday like im okay or like im fine

i really do miss you everyday regardless of what it seems like.. i really hope you’re happy.. that’s all ive ever wanted, for you to just be happy everyday. waking up happy, having a normal day, dealing with minimal bullshit.. i just wish i could’ve made you happy or been something you would’ve stayed for.. im infinitely jealous of anything that can naturally make you happier than i ever could..I just wanted our family we made together to be better than the ones we came from.. and things just got out of hand.. i just thought out of everyone I’ve ever had come into my life, you of all people wouldn’t abandon me like everyone else that promised to stay

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yesimwriting · 2 years

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sneak peak: matt murdock x ex-black widow! reader

a/n this fic has become sooo much longer than i originally thought it’d be, but i really want to put out something, so here’s my current favorite scene :)) (also im thinking about splitting it up into a mini series bc i’m doing so much lmao) if you want to be tagged in the full thing lmk :))

also writing matt murdock fics is about to become my new obsession bc i have so many ideas and i love his character and i really hope he comes off at least kind of accurate bc ive never written him before, so if this is bad im really sorry and im still getting used to him :))

also!! for this fic to make sense let’s all pretend that even with extensive research, someone wouldn’t know that natasha died when everyone came back from the blip :)) it’s part of the plot of the full fic

Blood coats my fingers again. I wonder if something happens frequently enough if there’s still a point in using tenses. My hands were bloody; my hands will be bloody; my hands are bloody. If it’s promised to happen again, was I ever really free of its stain?

The fighting is done. At least it is for now. Tonight was not particularly hard, in the physical sense. I’ve attacked people more prepared for someone of my skill level. I’ve attacked people with more dangerous weapons. I’ve been more violent, more brutal. But the people that lay near me, still breathing but broken, something about them sits with me incorrectly. They are a rib out of place in the chest.

Wow. I’m not making any sense, not even to myself. I look at my hands again, the blood of my knuckles has combined itself with the blood of those I hurt. I can’t bring myself to feel sorry for them, but grief still burrows itself into me.

These men were hurting girls. Children. The youngest that the masked men had tried to take was only 11. There was a time in which I was the frightened little girl, forced into a shipping crate with other frightened girls. Back then, all I had wanted was for it to be over. All I had wanted was for some kind of savior to break through the metal and fight off the monsters so that I could be anywhere else.

Tonight I was that savior for those girls. I should feel better. I did something good. Natasha...she’d smile at me if she was here. She’d look at me and tell me that I did good. That should make me feel content, more focused, like there’s some kind of direction I know to move in.

But it doesn’t. All I feel is her absence. I even feel the loss of Yelena, and I’m the one that told her to stay away. My fingers curl inwards, nails digging into the palms of my hands.

“That was efficient.” His voice is a reminder of why I can’t lose it here, on the abandoned side of the shipping docks.

Turning enough to look at him, I force myself to take a deep breath. A patient breath. There was something almost awkward about the way he said that. “You wanted my help.” I helped. I should feel better. “And I played by your rules. No one died.” The final word feels off. “I won’t apologize for my efficiency.”

He’s still, watching me like he sees right through me. The part of me that clings to a life beyond bloody hands wants to shrink away. To vanish until it’s morning. With daylight comes the promise of normality. The day will let me shed this mission suit and replace it with the business casual wear of an intern of a law firm. I like that version of me better...she’s whole.

“No apologies necessary.” I blink, fighting the urge to turn even more. He’s closer than I realized. “I’m just curious.”

Of course. That’s the problem with team ups or even just temporary mutual existence. The other person always wants to ask questions, and I can never offer them answers. I’m a former black widow assassin isn’t the kind of phrase that just rolls off the tongue. Especially not in front of him.

The devil of Hell’s Kitchen, someone that everyone here knows to fear, and yet he doesn’t...he doesn’t kill. If he knew all the blood that stains me, if he knew about all the red in my ledger...

“And I’m just reminding you that my one stipulation to this was no questions.”

I knew this was a bad idea. Even when we just happen to run into each other he expresses too much interest in who I am. Why I can do the things I can do. I know that he feels like he’s protecting his neighborhood by making sure that I don’t have any ill tensions. The false sense of security is a good thing, it means that we can both co-exist in peace. But tonight I’m not in the mood to play coy and skirt around the words I won’t say, revealing just enough to appease him. I’m also not in the mood to draw a line in the sand and make him think I’m a threat. There’s no doubt in my mind that if need be, I could take him. He’d be a worthy opponent, but not an unbeatable one. But maybe I don’t want to beat him. Maybe I don’t want to fight anymore. Maybe I just want to put my widow suit on the top shelf of my apartment’s closet and never look at it again.

We should part ways. The bad guys have been taken care of. The girls have been freed, the way I could have been years ago. There’s no reason for both of us to still be here. There’s no reason fro him to be less than an arm’s length away. And yet, we both stay still.

“You’re normally more open to friendly conversation.” The words snap me back to reality. I’ve been playing too close to a line I can’t cross. The last time I trusted someone, I learned to never do risk that again.

I force my hands to ease at my side. “We’re friends now?”

“I don’t take down human trafficking rings with just anyone.” He’s joking. He’s just trying to ease me into our normal dynamic. But the words still strike me in the heart. Memories of the day I got Natasha back and the day I stopped seeing Yelena as my protector wash through me, a torrid, unforgiving current.

It’s been years now. Years of silence. I haven’t seen Nat since she told me what she was planning to do with the Avengers. I haven’t seen Yelena since she told me the truth of the day I became a true widow. The end of the red room was the first and last familial moment I got. “For the record, neither do I.”

“And I’ve never taken anything down that fast.” He pauses, testing the waters. “If you were always around, I’d have time to pick up a hobby.”

He’s trying to appeal to my usual attitude. I have to give him something. It’s not his fault that the memories are hitting me more frequently than usual. And if I don’t seem at least somewhat stable, he’ll start thinking I’m planning something. He may start seeing me as some kind of threat. “Is the mysterious day job followed by nights of crime fighting not fulfilling enough?”

“The day job isn’t as interesting as you’re making it seem to be.” There’s an easiness to his words. He’s taking my attempt to act normal.

I shift on my heels, almost relaxing. “I wouldn’t know because you won’t tell me what it is.”

“And you won’t tell me how you learned to...be so efficient.” He’s referencing the way I fight. I can’t blame him for pressing this issue so much. A random girl shows up in his city, his neighborhood, with brutal skills and strength that would better suit someone twice her size. Of course he feels the need to ask questions.

I inhale, wondering what my next move is. I could remind him that the less we know about the other, the better. That I know not to ask questions as long as he does the same. But the thing is, I don’t want to. Maybe it’s because he’s faceless. Maybe it’s because when I wear this suit I don’t feel like I’m me anymore. Or maybe it’s because I’m tired of pretending my past is tearing into me more and more with each passing day.

“Would you believe me if I told you it’s a family thing?” The honesty threatens to leave my throat raw. I’m treading on a dangerous line. “That I learned everything I know from my sisters?”

He tilts his head slightly, exposing the side of his jaw--which is something I shouldn’t be as aware of as I am. “So an entire family of people like you? Fighting for the good?”

I don’t have it in me to think about the wya he says that. The words are stomach twisting enough. Fighting for the good. Is that even a fair thing to say now? Natasha certainly started fighting for the good. I don’t know where Yelena is. And I--I’m just trying to make up for everything I’ve done, everything I’ve been forced to do.

“What if we weren’t always doing that?” My throat burns, the way it often did when I would tell Natasha about the memories. When I would tell her about being a ghost in my own body. “Fighting for the good?”

I regret the words as soon as they’re out of my mouth. Dropping my head, I prepare to step back. To disappear in the shadows in the way I’m used to. He starts to move. To his credit, he’s faster than a normal person, so he does manage to place a hand on my shoulder, but not before my fingers wrap around his wrist. It’s his move next. I’m tense, expecting some kind of attack.

“I would say that you’re doing that now.” I watch him, he stays quiet. When nothing else is said...when nothing else is done, I find it in me to unclench my fingers and let my hand fall to my side. He still doesn’t move. “And that counts for something.”

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #daredevil #daredevil x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #hawkeye x reader #black widow #black widow! reader

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24hlevi · 3 years

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can i just say that i've just finished reading that angst headcanons/imagines/scenarios or whatever it's supposed to be called about the boys reacting to y/n dying and i'm just...i'm just a sobbing mess.

it's well-written so 1000/10 for that, but whY MUST YOU ATTACK MY HEART IN THIS MANNER???? i love your work, but my poor heart ack-

btw is there any possibility to ask for a request for a same scenario but for kazutora, mitsuya, and hanma? like for kazutora's part, imagine if it wasn't yknow who died but its y/n 🥲

omg you’re so nice first of all thank you 😭 and OMG YES

TR Boys Reaction To You Dying Pt. 2

Tokyo Revengers Boys (Kazutora, Shuji, & Takashi) X Gn!Reader

Genre: Pure Angst

Warnings: Swearing, Suicide (kind of? it’s what happened to baji did so idk what to label it as 🤷‍♂️)

Hanemiya Kazutora:

All Kazutora could think was that it was all his fault that this happened. He was too caught up in his own world that he didn’t even know what he was doing anymore. He didn’t even know you had shown up to the fight until he stabbed you instead of Baji.

“Y/n?” Kazutora asked, dropping the knife immediately when he saw you standing between him and Baji, blood dripping onto the ground below you. He completely froze, not knowing what he had just done or why he even did it. “Baby, are you okay?”

You held onto the stab wound, coughing up blood as you looked at your boyfriend. “I just wanted you…to stop.” You choked out before collapsing to your knees.

Everyone had stopped and was watching you by now, shocked that you had even protected Baji from both sides when your whole body landed on the car below you. Spitting blood out of your mouth, you laid on your back, staring up at the blue sky that was dusted with white clouds.

“Y/n!”

You heard multiple people yell your name, but you couldn’t even tell who it was until you saw Kazutora kneeling beside you. “Y/n! Keep your eyes open, okay?!”

You shook your head from side to side, raising your hand to put it on Kazutora’s face before quietly speaking, “Give it to me, the knife.”

“What? Why? Look, Y/n you just gotta stay awake okay?” Kazutora spoke fast, clearly freaking out on both the outside and inside, not even caring about the gang fight anymore.

“Hand it over, Kazutora.” You said his full name which caused him to go quiet, staring down at you with saddened eyes before handing you the knife that already had your blood on it. “Thank you, babe. I love you.” You told him.

“I love you too, Y/n.” Kazutora said to you.

You bundled up your shirt at the top, putting it in your mouth so you had something to bite down on before plunging the knife into your stomach and twisting it around, then pulling it back out and dropping it.

Kazutora wrapped his arms around you and held you close to him as you lived your last moments, and he couldn’t even say anything. “I’m sorry, Y/n. I always will love you.” Was all he said after you died.

Kazutora then took the blame for killing you, resulting im him ending up in jail again but he wasn’t angry about it. He was just sad. So sad that he didn’t even try to get out of jail and get back into the gang life. He just sat around, continuously saying,

“It’s all my fault.”

Hanma Shuji:

Shuji swore that he would never allow you to get hurt while he was away doing gang activities that he didn’t want you included in. That’s why he always had someone beside you and a bodyguard to make sure you would always be safe. But even then, it didn’t work.

It was half past 1 in the morning when Shuji’s phone rang while he was with the other Valhalla members, beating up some random other gang member. Shuji stopped punching the other male, standing up straight and took his phone out of his pocket and opened it, answering. “Yes?”

“Shuji…”

Shuji’s breath hitched when he heard your shaky and quiet voice, and he immediately knew that something was wrong. “Y/n? Where are you, darling? Is something wrong?”

“I’m…at home. B-But someone..got in.” You tried your best to reply, but it was coming out shaky and slow.

“I’ll be there in five minutes. I promise, baby. Okay? I love you.” Shuji told you before turning around and looking at everyone, taking the phone away from his ear. “Kazutora, you’re in charge until I get back, understand? As for everyone else, just do what you’re told.” He said to everyone, proceeding to then walk out and make his way onto the streets when he started to sprint down the different roads.

Now he was just making sure that he made it to your place in five minutes like he said he would, which usually he would be able to do easily, but he was more determined now that he had heard something had gone wrong whilst he was away. Upon reaching your place, he saw the front door opened already and he quickly rushed inside. “Y/n?! Baby, where are you?!” He called out as he started to run through every room in the house.

He finally made it to your room where you laid on the floor, a puddle of blood beneath you as you were taking shallow and slow breaths. “Y/n!” Shuji yelled out your name, going over to you and kneeling down beside you. He grabbed you and lifted you up, holding you in his arms as he checked for your pulse. When he felt it he let out a sigh of relief but it was very weak and barely noticeable which made him realize he probably only had a few more moments with you.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. For not being here when I should have. I’m so fucking stupid, I should have just stayed here with you. I’m sorry, darling. I’m sorry.” Shuji said to you, his voice cracking halfway through as tears welled up in his eyes.

You looked up at him and smiled lightly despite you dying in his arms. “It’s okay, Shuji. Don’t...blame yourself. I still love you.” You had never seen the boy cry before, that’s how you knew that he did really love you, that he wasn’t just saying it so he could manipulate or get things from you.

“I love you too.” Shuji whispered out.

Soon enough, your head went limp and your eyes were stuck open, all of the life drained from your face as blood dirtied the floor and Shuji’s clothes. “Y/n? Y/n? Wake up, please.” The boy pleaded to your now deceased body, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to get you back. Not ever again.

Shuji became what you would have never wanted him to become, a terrible person who killed anyone if they even looked at him the wrong way, and most importantly, one that drank all of his feelings after the day was over, crying to himself over your death still.

Because he would never get you back. And he regretted that the most.

Mitsuya Takashi:

Takashi was the most important person in your life, just like you were to him. He had told you on multiple occasions that he wanted to be with you forever. And he thought it would really happen. Boy, was he wrong. So, so wrong.

You two were walking down the busy street, eating street food while going inside stores and just admiring the night scenery. Everything was going perfectly normal, until it all changed within a few seconds.

“Hey, babe?” Takashi said, looking over at you.

“Yeah?” You repled.

“Do you wanna get married some day in the future?”

The question that came out of your boyfrien’s mouth shocked you, and you didn’t know how to reply. You both were still teenagers, how the hell were you supposed to know? “Only if it’s you I’m marrying.” You aswered with a smile.

Takashi smiled back and pressed his lips against yours before pulling away quickly after. “Same here.” He told you.

Suddenly, car tires screeched on the black cement road and one zoomed around, an all black van. It’s windows opened and guns pointed out of them before they started to fire. Takashi quickly wrapped his body around you and covered you with his, not even caring if he would end up getting killed because of it.

After the car drove off, Takashi looked at you and asked in a frantic voice, “Y/n, are you okay?”

You looked at him, then down to your side, shaking your head as you spat out blood. Takashi’s eyes widened as he yelled out your name, but you had collapsed onto the ground, grabbing at your abdomen where the gunshot wound was, blood beginning to soak through your clothes and onto the sidewalk below you.

“No, no, no. Y/n! Stay with me!” He yelled, taking his phone out of his pocket and about to call the polce when you grabbed his hand, stopping him. “What?”

“Don’t. It’s okay.” You told him, a small smile on your face.

“It’s not okay! I can’t lose you! We-We just talked about getting married some day!” The boy continued to yell.

“Maybe...in another life, we will.” You spoke barely above a whisper, your vision starting to darken and turn blurry. “I love you, Mitsuya Takashi.”

“I love you too, Y/n.” Takashi replied to you but you didn’t respond. “Y/n?” He reached his hand over and shook you gently, and when you didn’t move he looked at your face, then realizing that you were gone. He sat on the ground, and put his hands over his face, beginning to cry.

Takashi cried and mourned over your death everyday, despite people telling him to move on. He just couldn’t. He would never be able to find someone he would love like he loved you. He knew that. So that’s how it remained the rest of his life. Lonely, and depressed.

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jakesimfromstatefarm · 3 years

Text

how to fake date your best friend | jake sim

✰ summary: the rules were simple -

pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only

no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure

and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love.

simple, right?

well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules.

and to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2.

✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. members of enha!]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy | fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers

✰ warnings: cursing, high-schoolers doing dumb highschool things, underage drinking (pls don’t actually do any of this irl), jake being a certified simp, it’s LONG (i’m so sorry), cheesy kithes bc im a sucker for kithes ( ˘ ³˘)♥

✰ wc: a whopping 9.5k

✰ a/n: it’s finally finished :’)))))) it ended up being much longer than i wanted but i had so much fun writing the characters that i got carried away lolol anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy it,,,i got a little unmotivated during the process bc i didn’t know if it was good or not but here it is heh (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

Tuesday, December 8th

Jake Sim lives a simple life.

He likes to think he leads the normal, stereotypical life of a teenage boy. Has decent grades, plays soccer after school, skateboards around the neighborhood, has a best friend who he’s desperately in love with, and has a stable group of friends.

Okay, maybe not so simple, because this boy would physically launch himself to the moon and drill at its surface to collect moon dust for you if you asked him to––despite his deadly fear of combusting in outer space.

But that fear doesn’t even compare to his worst one yet: not having you in his life.

And so, he decided to just repress any and all feelings he’s had for you ever since he discovered them in middle school, when he realized he hated seeing you go to the eighth grade dance with a date––that wasn’t him.

He decided that he wasn’t going to risk losing a life-long friendship over some dumb, teenage boy feelings.

They were probably powered by his testosterone anyways. Yeah, that’s totally it.

He’s totally not in love with you.

So yes, he lives a pretty normal life. Every day is the same as the last, and tomorrow will be the same as today. But he likes it like that––he doesn’t want anything to change.

Especially not now, when he finds himself content with every aspect of his life (okay maybe except for his history grade, god, does he hate history).

So, it catches him off guard when you arrive at the group’s usual lunch table, located outside in your school’s courtyard, looking as excited as ever.

Jake’s the only one at the table so far. The remaining usually showed up late––Heeseung spends his first half of lunch tutoring freshmen for community service hours (but the poor boy has no idea what he’s doing), Sunghoon is probably stuck in line in the cafeteria again (he always forgets to pack his own lunch), and Jay is...well actually, no one ever knows where Jay comes from. He’s a special one.

It catches Jake even more off guard when you skip over any greeting a normal person would give, and start speaking at one hundred words per second.

And that catches us up to the present.

“Y-You want me to what?” Jake’s stuttering as you stare at him with your hopeful eyes from across the lunch table.

Despite the expression planted on your face, which screams your excitement for your “brilliant, amazing, genius, Einstein-could-never” idea (or whatever other words you used to describe it––Jake can’t exactly recall the specific terms you used, they all came out of your mouth too fast), you don’t respond to his question of bafflement. You continue to stare at him, awaiting his response. Jake could compare the look on your face right now to a puppy looking up at its owner, eagerly waiting for a treat. You know, tongue out and all.

He swallows the lump that’s lodged in this throat (is that the sandwich he’s having, or his nerves?) and continues to give you his look of confusion laced with a nervous smile because surely, you’re joking.

You grab what’s left of your sandwich from his hands and take your own bite. Somewhere in between you arriving at the table and now, Jake’s managed to steal the sandwich you brought today. You did make the best chicken sandwiches, in his defense.

“Well? It’s only for the week! And I promise you, after one week, if nothing happens––if he doesn’t make a move or anything––I’ll move on from him like you’ve been telling me to.” Your words are muffled from you savoring your sandwich, or what’s left of it anyways. (Mental note to self: don’t share your lunch with Jake ever again.)

When Jake still doesn’t respond (you’ve truly gotten this poor boy paralyzed), you find it as a sign to continue.

“I think it’s the perfect plan. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be like the universe is telling me to finally move on, right?”

Wrong.

Jake has been encouraging you to move on from your crush because well, if we’re being honest here, he selfishly wants you to himself. Even if it wasn’t romantically.

Preferably, he would kill to get to be the one who holds your hand in the hall, call you cheesy pet names, post disgustingly cute couple pics for the ‘gram––but for the sake of potentially ruining his relationship with you, he’ll just have to settle with the role of being your best friend.

(And he’s totally fine with that! Totally. Yup.)

But he didn’t think that you moving on would only be a mere possible outcome (that may not even happen!) from whatever this stunt is you wanna pull.

Said stunt: Pretend to date one another and hope it catches the eye of a certain someone you have your eye on: Park Sunghoon.

Ah yes, Park Sunghoon. The previously mentioned one who’s probably still in line waiting to get his lunch as we speak.

Park Sunghoon, the tall, kind, intelligent, charming young boy that everyone knows. And if anyone didn’t know him, they most definitely knew of him. He wasn’t hard to miss in the halls; everything about him just radiates perfection.

If you plucked a random high-schooler from the halls of this school and interviewed them on the Park Sunghoon, they’d say you’d be lucky enough if the quiet boy so much as sparked a conversation with you, even if it was about what last night’s chemistry homework was.

Well if that were true, then you and the rest of the boys would be considered lottery winners.

How that happened, how the four of you dysfunctional beings earned his friendship, the world may never know. However, Jake is fully convinced that this was the universe’s way of playing a cruel joke on him.

For as long as Jake could remember, it’s always been just the two of you. You and Jake. Jake and you. (With the exception of Heeseung and Jay, of course, who came along in middle school)

In fact, your earliest memory of Jake was when he peed his pants in the kindergarten during nap time. You would know, you had the privilege of sharing a sleeping mat with him that one fateful day and in result...let’s just say the smell didn’t wear off from your clothes until a week later. Five-year-old you didn’t forgive five-year-old Jake for the longest time.

And since then, you’ve been attached by the hip. And Jake liked it like that. Jake didn’t need anyone else in his life (with the exception of Leila) if he had you. He had found his home within you, and he didn’t plan on sharing his space anytime soon.

Nevertheless, the universe had a completely different idea for the two of you.

Sunghoon came into the picture last year, towards the end of the school year. Despite being the new kid, he found his way into your cherished friend group and naturally, the five of you grew as close as friends could be.

That was the problem. Jake wanted to hate Sunghoon, to despise him for being the one that you had heart eyes for, but he couldn’t.

Not only was Sunghoon one of Jake’s closest friends, but he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group. After you, the three chaotic boys were the next most important people in Jake’s life.

And so, we have the typical love triangle plot that every coming-of-age movie follows. Of course, this is all unbeknownst to you––you may be intelligent and a people-person, but oh boy can you not see the heart eyes your very own best friend has for you.

“It’ll be easier than you think, really! Look, we can even set boundaries or rules or whatever,” you propose, as if you’re trying to get him to sign a contract.

Rules to a fake relationship? We’re not living in a Netflix romcom, are we?

“Okay rule number 1: it’ll only be for a week and a week only, rule number 2: we don’t have to do anything too couple-ly like...” you pause to wonder for a second.

“Like PDA or anything! You know, unless we really need to convince him,” you casually add. When he responds with radio silence and stares at you with absolute concern painted all over his face, you cough. “Jake, I’m joking.”

Right. Of course. Obviously.

“And of course, just try not to fall in love with me, it’ll be hard, I know,” you send a playful wink his way.

Too late. Turns out it’s not that hard. Jake would know.

Jake continues to stare at you in hesitation. Yeah, you’ve had your fair share of crazy ideas (that Jake always find himself agreeing to––the poor boy just can’t seem to say no to you), but fake dating you?

Jake is sure he wouldn’t be able to pull it off without slowly destroying himself. He’d just have to say no, he’s sure you can find someone else to do it for you.

Yes, that’s it, just say no.

Jake has to keep some of his pride in tact.

Jake does not say no.

He doesn’t know what went wrong. His mind said one thing, but his words said another.

To be fair, Jake’s actions have always been influenced by his heart, not his brain, anyways. And when it comes to you, you bet it’ll be coming from his heart.

So here he was now, under the stare of three equally shocked and confused guys across from you and him at the lunch table, your fingers intertwined with his.

Just a few seconds ago, you had spotted the rest of the lunch bunch approaching the table, and you quickly grabbed Jake’s hand and scooted in closer to him.

Now here you were, explaining to your friends of your sudden relationship.

Jake is too zoned out to even physically pick up your explanation. Something along the lines of "we’ve been dating for a while but didn’t want to tell you guys yet." From the feeling of your hand clutched tightly into his and your body right up next to him, his mind was short-circuiting.

How is he supposed to last an entire week of this if he couldn't handle innocent hand holding? Hand holding? God, what are we, back in the fifth grade?

Two minutes into this scheme and Jake's mind has already downgraded itself to a fifth grader's.

Jake mentally scolds himself for giving in, this was not a good idea.

It takes Jake approximately 12 hours to conclude that this stunt of yours may, actually, be a good idea. He knows this because approximately 12 hours after the events surrounding lunch, he receives a text from you:

y/n [12:03AM]: thanks again for doing this for me jake

y/n [12:03AM]: ur actually the best

y/n [12:04AM]: ew ok that was cheesy but really i owe u a big one <333

Following your thread of texts is a really close up photo of you widely smiling into the camera. A smile so big, Jake’s convinced your face was probably in pain after taking that picture.

Anyone else might’ve thought the photo looked borderline insane but because Jake’s Jake, aka a simpᵗᵐ for you, he comes to the conclusion that it’s singlehandedly the cutest thing he’s ever seen in the entire world.

After quickly saving the selfie into his phone, Jake tells himself that maybe this won’t be a bad thing after all. I mean, anything that makes you smile like that meant it has to be a good idea, right?

Spoken like a true simp.

Plus, dating you––fake dating you––is pretty much the same as it was before. He already spends most of his days with you to begin with. Now, it’s just with added displays of affection. For show, obviously. Obviously.

And look, if Jake will never get to actually be with you, then he’ll take what he can get. And if that meant fake dating you, well, he reasons that it’s better than nothing at all.

Wednesday, December 9th

Jake’s playing with the rings on your right hand and you’re in the middle of dramatically telling the lunch table about the infuriating Karen you had to deal with at work the other day when Jay comes up with a grin you all know a little too well.

“Okay that grin means one of two things: you finally grew the balls to ask out that poor girl you’ve been teasing all year or you have something planned that we won’t like,” you interrupt your story when you catch Jay’s sly expression, evoking a chuckle from Jake, who’s now found a new distraction with the bracelets perches on your wrist.

“Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I did ask her out. It just so happens that she’s currently ‘in between boyfriends’ whatever that means. Ouch, by the way,” Jay feigns hurt from your comment by clutching the area above his heart through his shirt. Ever the drama queen. “But yes, I do have something planned. And no, it’s not a bad idea.”

Jay squeezes his way in between Sunghoon and Heeseung from across you and begins to pull out his own lunch. Everyone’s eyes follow him as he settles in because as bad as his unknown idea may be, you’re all still curious on what this boy has to say.

“Well are you going to elaborate or...” Heeseung speaks up for everyone after you all mentally debate one another through darting eyes on who’s going to have to bite Jay’s silent bait.

Jay then forcefully sets both hands on his table, which elicits a little jump from you as you go for a bite of your sandwich. Adorable, Jake tells himself.

“My parents are out of town this weekend. We all know what that means...”

Yes. We do know what that means. The four of you have seen this scenario play out many times, a little too many times for your own good.

This meant one of Jay’s infamous house parties that he always throws whenever his parents go out of town. And because his parents are hot-shot CEOs of an important company whose name you don’t remember (it’s nothing personal, your brain can only handle so much information and this physics exam you were studying for took up 90% of your brain capacity at the moment), they’re out of town often.

And along with Jay’s parties comes chaos. Lots of it. And that’s because...well, it’s safe to say that despite the many school-wide presentations the police officers of your school have held in the auditorium on why you shouldn’t drink underage, Jay’s parents’ liquor cabinet always seems to find itself missing many a few bottles after each party. But we don’t talk about that. Shush.

Almost simultaneously, everyone at the table lets out a groan, much to Jay’s disappointment.

“C’mon guys! It’s been a while since anything’s fun happened to this school, think of all the sad students in that building right now,” he extends a finger whole-ass arm and points at your school, “who are in dire need of fun and a little...” he punctuates his sentence with the hand motion of chugging down a drink, followed with a gulping sound elicited from his tongue clicking.

You roll your eyes along with everyone else. Don’t be like Jay, kids. Listen to those police officers.

“Jay, it’s midterm season! I have an exam on Monday and I definitely do not want to spend the nights before wasted,” you give him an apologetic look. As crazy as Jay is, you do feel bad nonetheless. The boy just wants to have fun.

Your response is followed up with similar comments from around the table.

“I’m helping y/n study”

“I have an important skating performance on Sunday”

“Uh...my hamster died?” (ok Heeseung panicked, don’t blame the guy)

Ignoring that last excuse of an excuse, Jay continues his debate nonetheless. “Just come for the sake of it! No one’s saying you have to get wasted. Pleaseeee for me?”

Jay throws these parties so often, you’re not sure why he’s so set on making sure you’re all going to be there. Well, I guess who wouldn’t want their closest friends to be at their own party?

That and, Jay needs to make sure his friends are there to stop him from doing anything stupid. We all know this boy has had enough embarrassing moments to last him a lifetime.

Everyone at the table gives each other the same hesitant look. Heeseung is the first to give in, “Oh fuck it. Sure, count me in.”

Jay’s fist pumping the air before turning to Sunghoon with the most hopeful eyes.

Sunghoon simply sighs in return. “Alright okay, I’ll bite. But if you vomit on my shoes again, I’m out the door.” Jay’s finger is automatically drawing a cross over his heart as a promise to not ruin Sunghoon’s Nikes again.

He then looks to you with puppy eyes.

You, who's already staring back at Jay with a stoic look in your eyes, are stubborn and (unlike the previous weaklings) are not as easy to convince. And somehow, this began an unannounced staring contest between the two of you, a contest to see who would budge first. This isn't an uncommon occurrence between you and Jay, but the rest of the boys are still on the edges of their seats watching this duel.

Jake casually wraps an arm around your shoulder and you’re brought in close, but still undeterred from your death-stare match with the boy across from you.

If it’s not obvious enough, Jake’s really gotten into his role of being your boyfriend, despite it only being 24 hours since he last froze at your touch. Character development, you’ll give him that.

You almost forget he’s faking it for a quick second. And for an even quicker second, you imagine he wasn’t faking it. And you swear you feel butterflies in your stomach at that thought.

Weird.

You mentally shake the thought out of your head. Priorities first, aka, beating Jay in this staring contest.

“Fuck,” you stutter when you finally blink, admitting defeat to a grinning Jay. “Okay, okay, I’ll THINK about it. I’ll let you know.”

Not exactly the answer Jay was looking for, but he’ll take it. Better than a no.

He turns to Jake next, knowing there’s no way Jake will turn down a party. Just like Jay, the boy loves himself a good party.

But–

But because Jake would take your physics exam this Monday for you if you asked, because Jake would bungee jump in the Grand Canyon without a safety net below him if you asked, because Jake would fake date you to make your crush jealous for you if you asked, he doesn’t hesitate in his answer this time around: “Same as y/n, I’ll let you know.”

Jay looks at Jake. Then back at you, who he’s still clinging onto like a koala to a tree. Then back at Jake. “You two are gross. Admittedly cute. But gross.”

You look up at the boy next to you to see him already grinning at you.

For the first time today, you find yourself agreeing with Jay.

Admittedly cute.

Thursday, December 10th

You are having a bad day.

You’re having the mother of bad days.

Not only is it midterm season, but you still have all your regular weekly assignments to finish before Friday hits. So as a natural-born procrastinator does, you stayed up all last night trying to get a good amount of work done because what’s better than cramming all your work the night before it’s due? Doing it two nights before it’s due.

Well apparently it wasn’t such a good idea. Because now, here you were, frantically throwing on whatever articles of clothing you find nearest to you because you slept through all your alarms.

You’re lucky enough to make it through your school’s doors right as the second bell rings, even if you did look like you just walked straight out of a zombie apocalypse.

You’re not so lucky when you find out your first class of the day, calculus, had a pop quiz. A pop quiz on the only unit you just happened to know absolutely nothing about.

To top things off, you forgot to pack your lunch during this morning’s frenzy, meaning you’re automatically stuck sharing with Jake.

And because his mother started making him pack his own food out of a lesson of responsibility (she said something along the lines of: “Jake, you’re about to be in college and you don’t know how to pack a decent meal”), he only has a plain PB&J sandwich and a pack of Scooby-Doo gummies in his bag today (because newsflash, he still doesn’t know how to pack a decent meal).

Not that you could care less at the moment, you were too preoccupied with catching up on your assignments to even eat. And if any of the boys noticed your zombie-like state during lunch, they did a good job of not mentioning it. They knew better than to bother an irritated y/n.

Somehow, you make it through the entire school day and your after-school meeting for environmental club (save the trees!) in one piece. As you finally walk out of the school building, you exhale, automatically feeling lighter. At least the hard part of your day was done.

Now you just had to wait for Jake to finish soccer practice, which usually ended around the same time as your club, and he can drive you home, where you can continue being irritated with your day in the privacy of your own space.

You wait on the steps of the school’s entrance, waiting for a smiley Jake to come around the corner as he usually does at 5:30pm every Thursdays.

Yes, a smiling Jake is exactly what you needed to make your day ten times better, you conclude.

As if on cue, you hear a ding from your phone.

Jake [5:30PM]: ugh coach is extending practice for “team bonding”

Jake [5:30PM]: idek what team bonding is

Jake [5:31PM]: you ok if i cant drive you today? ://

It’s as if the universe decided to use you as its punching bag today.

You physically let out a distorted groan, not caring if anyone who happened to hear you thought you were a creature from out of this world, as you send him a text back.

y/n [5:32PM]: it’s all good lol have fun with tEaM bOnDiNg

Things were not all good. But no matter how upset you may be, you weren’t going to project your negative vibes onto Jake’s naturally positive ones. So you get up from the stone steps and begin your dreaded walk back home.

It’s freezing out. You should’ve known better to just throw on a hoodie and call it a day when it’s the middle of December. But then again, you figured by now you’d be in the comfort and warmth of Jake’s car and presence...not walking home in these freezing temperatures.

You think about Jake and how he’s probably currently suffering from not only his team bonding exercises (but really though, what are team bonding exercises?), but doing them in this weather as well. The poor boy.

You’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by the sound of a car engine from behind you. When you don’t see it pass by you and instead hear it pull over and park next to the curb of the sidewalk you’re currently on, you automatically deduce that this is it, this is my time, I’m about to get kidnapped by whoever it is behind me but y/n, you should probably turn around and check first before you drive yourself insane in this inner dialogue.

You turn around and squint into the front window of the car. If it were a kidnapper, this is exactly what your mother told you not to do. Her exact words were: “Run, don’t look back, and scream bloody murder.”

Good thing it wasn’t. Just an innocent Sunghoon waving his hand at you, motioning you to get in.

“Sunghoon?” You approach his car and stop at the passenger side’s open window.

“y/n! It’s freezing out, I’ll drive you home c’mon,” he nods his head towards the passenger side door.

Well, how could you say no? Sunghoon owns a nice car. Like a nice car. Like car-seat-heaters-that-make-you-feel-like-you’re-physically-melting nice. Beats getting hypothermia outside, right?

“Why are you going home from school so late?” You ask as you settle into his car, instantly melting at the touch of the aforementioned heated seats.

“Debate club, actually. Decided I needed another personality trait other than ice skating,” he starts the engine and begins driving towards the direction of your neighborhood.

You laugh at his comment, you didn’t peg him as a debate kind of student. Quiet Sunghoon? Debate club? If 2 plus 2 is four...

“Hey, I don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing! Also, don’t forget your other personality trait: forgetting your lunch every day.”

Sunghoon quickly glances over at you to send you a dirty look (because eyes on the road, kids!), which you return with a cheeky grin. “Need I remind you that was you today?”

“Touché,” you click your tongue.

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the faint sound of Sunghoon's music in the background filling in the quietness.

You’re humming along until Sunghoon breaks the silence, “Did Jake get stuck at practice again?”

You don’t know why, but you swear you feel your heart beat faster at the mention of Jake’s name. No, that was always there right? Because you were with Sunghoon...your crush..obviously. Obviously.

Ignoring the feeling, you turn your attention towards the boy driving you.

“Oh yeah, something about team bonding. How’d you know?”

“Eh, I just figured since he wasn’t driving you home like he always does.” He turns into your neighborhood.

You nod at his answer.

“You two make a good couple.”

You whip your head at him. Did you hear him correctly?

“It was about time, really. You two have been ogling at one another for so long, Heeseung, Jay, and I almost placed bets on who would be the first to make a move.”

He keeps his eyes on the road, casually going on about how you and Jake make the cutest couple he’s ever seen.

You're frozen, unsure of what to think, let alone say.

You think to two days ago, when you started this entire fake relationship because of the very boy driving you home right now. The same boy who's complimenting you on your fake relationship. The same boy who's supposed to be jealous over that said relationship. The same boy you’re supposed to be crushing over.

But now...only a mere 48 hours later, you were finding yourself okay with the fact that he was happy for you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t remember why you liked Sunghoon in the first place. Not saying he isn’t one to be crushed on, I mean, look at the guy.

Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you didn't feel nervous or giddy or..anything at all when you got into the car with Sunghoon. At least, not until Jake's name was mentioned. That's when you felt the butterflies. At the mention of Jake.

Jake.

Weird.

But before you can come to a conclusion on why you're feeling the way you do, Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts.

"Well, we're here! Say hi to your parents for me," he pulls into your driveway as you're still collecting your thoughts.

You give him a quick thanks and one last wave as you enter the front doors of your house.

Seeing that your only solution towards confusing feelings meant distracting yourself, distract yourself you did.

Even if it meant distracting yourself with your piling assignments.

The next time you look up from your work, it's suddenly way past sundown and a heavy storm has taken over. You’re surprised it hasn’t started flooding yet with the amount of rainfall you were hearing.

You check the time on your phone, the bright 8:16PM on the screen illuminating your dimly lit room. Seeing that neither of your parents have yet to be home from work, it looks like you were going to have to settle with some instant ramen for dinner tonight.

As you trudge down the stairs of your home, the sound of light knocking against the front door catches your attention. It's been a long day y/n, you're probably hearing things, it's definitely just the rain.

Nope. There it is again, but much louder. Much more urgent.

You contemplate any and all potential disasters that could happen from answering the door. Only a crazy person would be willing to go out in this hurricane-like weather to be frantically knocking on your door.

And so, you assume it has to be some psychopath trying to get into your house. Yes, there’s definitely no other logical explanation.

You scramble around your living room, looking for the next best weapon to defend you. Resorting to the flower vase your mother keeps on the table next to the front door, you hold it out in front of you, as if you're waiting for the door to burst open.

The knocking continues, gradually getting louder. You mentally curse at yourself for dropping out of the taekwondo class your dad signed you up for when you were younger.

Vase in hand, you swing open the door and brace for–

"Jake? What the fuck? Get in here, you're gonna get sick!"

You’re suddenly aware of how stupid you look, holding a light pink vase with a couple of orchids as your only form of self-defense...for it to only be your own best friend. You immediately put it back on the table as Jake quickly rushes past you and into your humble abode.

You close the door behind you and turn to face the soaked boy.

“I come bearing gifts, also known as take-out and hot chocolate from that one cafe you love. Also my company, if you’ll take it. I had a feeling you weren’t having the best day today,” he’s simply standing there, holding up a large brown paper bag in one hand, and a deliciously smelling cup of hot chocolate in the other, but you’re looking at him as if he bought you the Moon.

You stare in awe at the angel of a boy in front of you, silently thanking the stars for gifting you this amazing human being as your best friend. You don’t know what you did to deserve him.

You give him a soft smile. “Jake, you didn’t have to. It’s practically a shitstorm out there,” you cock your head towards the window, showcasing the downpour of cats and dogs outside. Jake stays by the entrance as you go down the hall and through your house’s linen closet to find a spare towel for the drenched boy.

“Nah it’s no big deal, really. Just fulfilling my duties as your loyal boyfriend,” he grins, even though you can’t see him. He likes calling himself that. Your boyfriend.

Jake continues to shake his messy hair to get the excess rain off, giving a mental apology to whoever is going to have to mop up the puddle forming on the floor due to his unannounced visit. Probably you.

Jake hears you laugh down the hall. “You’re really invested in your role, huh? Keep this up and you might actually trick me into believing you’re my actual boyfriend.”

Actual boyfriend? Jake likes the sound of that. Maybe he will keep this up then.

Jake doesn’t have much experience in acting, unless you count that time he played the role of Town Villager #3 in the third grade play, so he never found it as one of his interests. But playing the role of your boyfriend was one he was willing to fulfill for the rest of life, even if it was just for show.

Jake doesn’t respond to your comment, he’s instead self-aware of his blushing cheeks, thankful that you’re too busy rummaging through your linen closet to take notice.

“Plus, you didn’t have lunch today and I had feeling you were going to be too caught up in your work to feed yourself anything other than instant ramen,” he sets down his gifts to you on your living room’s coffee table as you come around the corner, fresh towel and new set of clothes in hand.

His eyes fall on the familiar looking pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting on the palms of your hands.

Hm. A little too familiar.

Then, it clicks in his head.

His eyes narrow at you as you giggle at his reaction, “Oh, so it takes me getting drenched in the rain for you to finally return my clothes that I’ve been missing!?”

“Hey! I’m not returning them, simply loaning them out to a friend who’s in dire need. You basically gifted them to me the second you left them here months ago.”

“You’re annoying.”

“Love you too,” you toss the clothes at him and take a seat on the floor around your coffee table, prepping the table with the boxes of Chinese food Jake supplied.

After Jake changes into the stolen dry clothes, he takes a seat next to an already-eating you at the coffee table.

“You. are. my lord and savior Sim Jaeyun,” you’re saying with your mouth full of fried rice. You sigh from satisfaction and rest your head against Jake’s shoulder as you continue chewing. He grins as he helps himself to his own serving of fried rice and orange chicken.

You look up at him from your spot, “How was team bonding today?”

Jake groans in response, clearly annoyed. “Stupid. I don’t get how doing trust falls and pyramid building is going to get us any closer. If anything, I almost FELL off that pyramid today!”

You don’t know why, but you find yourself admiring him and his soft features as he continues to rant about one of his teammates, specifically, the one who almost dropped him.

The way his messy hair, unkept from the rain ruining it, almost covers his eyes (but you tell yourself you like it this way, it looks more natural on him), the way the corners of his lips are always perked upwards (even when he’s ranting), the way his eyes sparkle whenever he’s truly passionate about whatever he’s talking about, the way his eyes look at you like–

“Stare much? Look, I get you can’t resist my good looks but at least be subtle about it,” he smirks at you as he takes another spoon of rice.

You break out of his trance and scoff at him.

“You’re cute when you rant,” you nonchalantly say as you move from your spot to mirror his actions and add more rice to your plate as well. Jake’s stills at your sudden comment, unsure of how to respond. Lucky for him, you’re distracted by the mountain of food on your plate to even notice the blushing mess of a boy next to you.

“You know, you’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I’d deck you right here and now for ditching me after school today.”

Anddd there goes the moment. Leave it to you to follow up a compliment with a threat of violence.

Jake finds it cute anyways. He always finds you cute.

Jake narrows his eyes and lightly shoves you before an apology is written all over his face. “Sorry about that by the way. I feel awful about making you walk home when it was freezing out.”

“Nah, it’s okay. Sunghoon gave me a ride, actually. Did you know he does debate? I guess you learn something new everyday,” you ramble, unaware of the boy next to you getting tense at the sudden mention of the other’s name.

Up until now, Jake’s completely forgotten about Sunghoon's involvement in this entire scheme. In fact, the past 48 hours with you have felt so normal, so comfortable, he almost forgot about the deal in the first place. “You think he has any clue?” Jake suddenly asks, referring to the plan.

You immediately know what he’s referring to, as Jake practically worded out your very own thoughts.

You shrug. “Not a single one. We’re practically William and Kate in his eyes. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries right now. I’m too distracted by my exams right now to care.”

Jake feels guilty for being satisfied with your answer. He’s 100% sure that if convincing Sunghoon took you two an entire lifetime of fake dating, he’d be all too willing to do it.

“Go to Jay’s party with me tomorrow,” he abruptly says, catching your attention as your mouth is stuffed. Cute.

He pokes your cheek. “It’ll get your mind off of work and plus, what’s more convincing than showing up to a party with your amazing boyfriend?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Jake doesn’t know where he gets his sudden surge of confidence. But he does know he loves calling himself your boyfriend...even if it’s for the time being.

Rolling your eyes and swatting his poking fingers away from your face, you ponder on his suggestion.

“You mean my annoying boyfriend,” you stick your tongue out at him. Jake takes a mental picture and hopes it never leaves his mind.

“But I guess you could be right. Maybe I can clear my head for the night before I study my ass off all weekend.”

Friday, December 11th

The party does not clear your mind.

If anything, it gives you enough headaches to last you at least until the end of high-school.

You come to this revelation as you and Jake approach Jay’s home, a luxurious mansion sitting at the end of a cul-de-sac, lined with similarly luxurious palaces, located in an equally luxurious neighborhood.

You come to this revelation when you can already feel the pounding bass of music as you walk up Jay’s driveway.

You come to this revelation when, not even two seconds after entering Jay’s front doors––

“You’re here!” A buzzed Jay shouts at the two of you, causing the both of you to contemplate your past choices that brought you here today. Jay definitely isn’t straight up drunk yet, but Jake still makes a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight. Just in case.

The blonde-haired boy is quick to hand over two red solo cups of god knows what, to which you and Jake immediately put down on the nearest table after Jay walks away to greet the next incoming guests (you know, to not hurt his feelings).

You and Jake are lucky enough to have been around Jay and his parties long enough to know that going all out at these parties will not be pretty the next morning.

You cringe at the memory of last year, when you had to suffer from possibly the worst hangover of all hangovers after one of Jay’s parties. Jake will never let you forget how miserable you looked the next morning. His camera roll’s album titled “y/n blackmail pics” can vouch for that.

“Remind me again to never listen to you,” you almost have to shout at Jake over the thumping music. Jake laughs at your comment and tugs at your hand as he begins entering the house.

The two of you do your rounds of greetings to the people you know...and random underclassmen who you swear you have never seen before but somehow made it to this party. You’ve always questioned how Jay’s invite list worked. Maybe there isn’t one. That would explain how it looked like someone announced Jay was giving out free Teslas and the entire school got hold of the news.

“Thank god you guys are here,” you hear a voice come from behind the two of you as you guys leave the main room to enter the house’s smaller, but just as luxurious looking, den. You turn to see Heeseung with Sunghoon following closely behind, trying his best not to get swept away in the crowd of people.

The den is where you usually stayed during these parties. It’s not like there are rules of where people are allowed to party, by any means, but it’s like how a high-school’s cafeteria worked. There’s a mutual silent agreement of where everyone goes, and the den is where the party host and his friends went.

“Okay, is it just me, or is tonight’s party just a little...too..much?” Sunghoon asks as the four of you take your seats on the main couch of the room. Jake’s quick to make space for you next to him as you go to sit, but to his surprise, you find your home right on his lap.

“You said be convincing right?” you say into his ear as you settle yourself. Right. That’s totally why. Because you had to go along with the ruse. Obviously.

You shift a bit so you’re more facing sideways, not blocking off Jake’s line of vision as the boy himself is..well, calling him a rag doll might be excessive.

But he’s sure he looks like one right now, having lost all senses in his limbs, leaving him frozen underneath you.

Jake Sim is the epitome of politeness. He was raised in a family that taught him how to respectfully greet others, how to always offer food to others before eating it himself, how to properly treat a significant other. As a result, Jake grew up to be one of the sweetest, kindest, purest people to ever walk this earth.

(Relatively speaking, the earth is large, but so is Jake’s heart.)

But human-beings aren’t perfect, they must have a balance. A balance of pros and cons.

Sure, he can’t pack his own lunch and sometimes forgets to water the little succulent you gifted him that’s currently seated on his window sill. Sure, sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good, you know, like willing-to-be-your-fake-boyfriend too sweet. But aside from the minor details, Jake Sim doesn’t have many cons, no.

But he sure can be awkward.

And so because Jake Sim is sweet, kind, pure, and awkward, he is unsure of what to do with himself when you’re seated right on top of him.

As if you could read his befuddled mind, you take his arm that’s resting behind you to wrap around your waist as your support as you throw one of your arms around his shoulder. And throughout this entire adjustment, his widened eyes are staring right at you.

Bless this pure, pure boy.

Also bless the position you’re in, blocking the two other boys from directly seeing Jake’s face. Because if they were to catch glimpse of Jake’s expression right now, your cover might be blown, just like that. You’re lucky Heeseung and Sunghoon are distracted by another classmate who came up to them.

“Relax,” you sweetly laugh, cupping his chin with your free hand and lightly squeezing his cheeks. “You’re so adorably awkward.”

Jake pouts at you. “I am not awkward!”

“Right, and I’m totally dating you for real,” you playfully whisper at him, eliciting a poke at your waist in response.

Twenty minutes of people-watching-aka-“who do you think is gonna pass out first?”-from-your-spot-on-the-couch later, the four of you draw your attention to the rowdy party host you all have the honor of calling your friend––aka Jay––dancing (that is, if you call wildly swinging your limbs in all four directions dancing) in the middle of the den.

"Oh god, look at him," Sunghoon voices from besides you.

Heeseung's already filming the moment on his phone. Ah yes, technology. The best thing to ever happen to drunk teens' friends.

"He's so wasted," you throw your head back as you let out a laugh. “We should help the kid out.”

Poor Jay. He's not gonna hear the end of it after tonight.

"I don't know why he thinks these parties are such a good idea when he knows how trashed he's gonna be when he wakes up," Jake says, his hand naturally squeezing your waist as you giggle at his comment. "And how trashed the house will be."

Jay slumbers over to where the four of you are seated, and abruptly stops right in front of the couch.

"My best friends!" Jay happily cheers. “Having fun?”

“Watching you? Always,” you say to the boy who’s squeezing into a seat between you and Sunghoon, as if the small couch wasn’t already suffocating enough (and that’s with you on Jake’s lap).

“But for real though, you should probably lay off the drinks for now,” Heeseung insists. “For all our sakes.”

Sunghoon nods along and grabs the cup Jay’s currently nursing and sets it down where it’s out of Jay’s reach, much to his dismay. But the disappointment quickly leaves the dazed boy’s head, as his attention is now directed towards you and Jake.

“Well if it isn’t mom and dad,” Jay turns to face you and Jake, certainly amused by your seating arrangement.

“You know–” Jay points a finger at the two of you. “For a couple that’s certainly close, I haven’t seen you two kiss.”

Jake is immediately coughing, certainly not expecting that to come out of his friend’s mouth.

“Okay and your point is?” Jake frowns at Jay. If Jay wasn’t tipsy, Jake would’ve smacked the back of his head by now.

“I’m just saying...” the blonde responds, both hands up in the air as if Jake is accusing him of something, when in was, in fact, the opposite. “But nevermind, Jakey boy here is probably too innocent for such nonsense anyways.”

Yes, it’s confirmed. Once Jay sobers up tomorrow, Jake is driving over to his house (even though it’s a good ten minute drive from his own) just to smack him.

“What do you mean I’m too–”

Jake doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact, Jake doesn’t even remember what he was going to say.

Jake doesn’t think nor feel anything else other than your lips planted on his.

You’re pulling him in close, your hands cupping his face as his own are twitching on your waist, his mind flustered. You move your hands from his face to his neck, to which Jake immediately relaxes at.

Sure, you two are in the middle of a dumb high-school party, one filled with pounding music and shouting teenagers, but right now, in this moment, Jake can only feel you. And he doesn’t want the feeling to ever stop.

When you part, Jake’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, his own parted in shock. He thinks he might pass out right here and now. He thinks his heart might explode right here and now. He thinks he might lov-

“Happy?” you turn to a satisfied Jay, ignoring the looks of amusement from Heesung and Sunghoon besides him.

“Well,” you pat Jake’s leg as you get up from your spot. “I’m gonna get us some drinks. Punch only, of course.”

Jake’s eyes are on you as you walk away, his face tinted pink from the adrenaline of it all, his heart racing.

Jake thinks back to three days ago, when he told himself that this idea of yours was going to be all fine. After all, it was only going to be for one week. Afterwards, he can move on with his life as if nothing happened.

But fast forward 72 hours later, 72 hours after you and Jake started this act, 72 hours after Jake told himself it’ll be all fine, Jake knows he was poorly mistaken.

Because 72 hours later, in the middle of a party that reeked of the combined smell of alcohol and sweat, Jake knows one thing and one thing for sure.

He never wants to move on from the feeling of being with you. He never wants to move on from this.

From you.

He’s screwed.

Saturday, December 12th

When Jake wakes up, much later than he intended to, on Saturday morning, the first sensation he feels are his tingling lips, still in disbelief that they graced your own last night.

The second sensation being his pounding mind––it’s running through ten million thoughts at a time, telling him no last night wasn’t a dream.

Third: his heart beating so fast at the thought of you, he thinks he might beat out of his chest.

And fourth, a buzzing noise.

Jake blindly flounders his arm to the table beside him in hopes of finding the origin of the annoying sound, aka, his phone.

After knocking down multiple miscellaneous items on his nightstand (he makes a mental note to clean his room later), he successfully retrieves the item of search.

Jake squints at the bright screen, mind still cloudy from a mix of 1) being half-asleep, and 2) still processing what happened the night before.

y/n [11:10AM]: r u awake yet?

y/n [11:22AM]: imma take that as a no

y/n [11:35AM]: lemme know when ur up

jake [11:44AM]: just woke up sorry

jake [11:44AM]: are you okay? what’s up

y/n [11:45AM]: r u busy?

y/n [11:45AM]: kinda wanted to talk abt smth

jake [11:45AM]: uh well no im still in bed lmao

y/n [11:46AM]: cool im outside your door

Jake’s eyes widen as he processes your last few texts.

Talk? Outside his door?

Jake’s heart is nervously pounding as jumps out of bed and quickly puts on the first plaid flannel he finds. He scrambles to his mirror and gives his reflection a quick run-down.

He’s sporting your his favorite hoodie underneath the flannel that’s long overdue a wash and his tousled hair has seen better days, but he couldn't care less.

Before his mind can catch up to his actions, he’s rushing down the stairs, skipping two at a time and to this front door. Because he didn’t want to keep you waiting? Because he was too excited to see you? Maybe a mix of both. Definitely more of the latter, however.

He quickly runs a hand through his hair to try to fix it up as much as he can, to no avail, before opening the door to reveal you, sitting on the steps of his front porch.

“y/n,” he’s breathing heavily as you turn to greet him with your sweet smile he didn’t even realize he was missing. Is it possible to miss someone overnight? Jake concludes yes, it definitely is.

“Did you run down here or something?,” you question his out-of-breath state, a teasing tone laces the tip of your tongue.

“Or something,” Jake mutters as he closes the front door behind him to join you on the steps when you make no sign of moving. “Have you been out here all morning?”

“Not allll morning. I had a feeling you’d sleep in so I came around the time I first texted you. Would’ve knocked but didn’t wanna bother your family,” you hum, keeping your eyes trained on the peaceful scenery around you.

You’ve always loved Jake’s neighborhood, it brought you a sense of peace, a sense of home.

Or was that because it reminded you of Jake?

“You could never be a bother,” he quickly rebuttals as he takes his seat next to you on the steps.

You respond with a soft smile before turning your attention back to anything other than the boy next to you. Your mind seems to be lost in its own thoughts, Jake can tell by the distant look in your eyes.

The sound of birds chirping in the distance fills the silence that falls between the two of you.

Any other day, Jake would love this. He savors every second he’s with you, even if it’s just pure silence.

But this silence was different. It wasn’t the usual comforting, warm silence that the two of you share on a typical day. This one held tension, tension so thick that Jake doesn’t know where to begin thinking.

But here’s the thing. Jake doesn’t think.

Not when it comes to you.

He takes a deep breath. Rubs his hands together. Pats them on his lap. Turns towards you.

“Look, I-”

“I think I might like you.” The words come out of your mouth so fast, Jake’s positive he heard you wrong the first time around.

He whips his head to meet your eyes, your own already staring back at him, your bottom lip nervously tucked under your teeth.

“No, I––I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job right now,” the words are all of the sudden tumbling out of your mouth as if your brain flipped a switch and isn’t able to turn it off. “In hindsight, I should’ve known better to fake date my own best friend. But these past few days made me realize how much I love being with you. And not like how I’m always with you 24/7 before this entire thing started, but being with you. I even started getting that weird, bubbly feeling in my stomach every time I so much as heard your name. And then last night at the party, I realized afterwards that I wouldn’t have kissed you if some part of me didn’t see you in that way. Even if it meant Jay would’ve been on our asses all night if I didn’t. So yeah.”

You finish with a deep breath and look up at him to meet his widened eyes. Silence.

Jake thought he was braindead during last week’s history quiz. Jake thought he was braindead when he had to cram a semester’s worth of chemistry content the night before his exam. Heck, Jake thought he was braindead when you first told him about your idea of a fake dating him. But no, this is braindead.

He’s finally hearing what he’s been dreaming of for so long, and of all times, now his brain decides to shut off.

“Are you..uh..are you gonna say anything?” You’re nervously fumbling with your hands, desperate to distract yourself with anything else apart from his silent stare.

"Why are you sorry?" Jake says before his mind can think of anything else. He doesn't pay attention to his thumping heart that's one look-from-you away from exploding right then and there. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you took the words right out of my mouth.”

Now you're staring at him with the wide eyes, the words processing in your mind.

Jake realizes he's waited too long to do this. A few years too long. He also realizes he shouldn't have put on that extra layer of a flannel. The nervous tension created by the two of you was suffocating enough, and being outside under the bright sun didn’t help.

"I like you too. God y/n, I like you too so much," Jake doesn't even care if his words are all sorts of messed up right now. He just needs you to get the idea. "I have for a while now.”

You let out a relieved sigh, ecstasy rushing through your blood. “Really? I think I have for a while too. I’m so stupid, it took me so long to realize it. It didn’t hit me until I realized how I felt around you, compared to the guy I’m supposed to actually have a crush on.”

Jake lets out a laugh, the tension immediately dissolving. “Hey, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon, I don’t think we’d be here right now.”

“You’re right, I’m too oblivious and you’re too awkward to actually make a move,” you wink at him. If his heart wasn’t fluttering at the sight of you, on his porch on a Saturday morning, confessing your feelings to him, Jake probably would’ve lightly shoved you away.

Instead, he’s turning to you with the most endeared look on his face, and you’re blushing underneath his gaze.

“What? Stare much?” You giggle, quoting the boy himself as you shyly duck your head to avoid his stare.

Jake gently grabs your chin to tilt your face towards his, and before you can process what’s happening, he suddenly meets your lips with his own, closing the gap between you two.

Jake thinks if the ground underneath him right now decided to open up and swallow him whole, he’d die happily.

Jake smiles against you, feeling comfort in ways he’ll never be able to achieve without you.

Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, as one of his rests below your ear, thumb softly caressing your cheek, the other pulling you in by the waist. He’s naturally leaning into you, gravitating towards your warmth, unable to stop the giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach.

He doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away.

When you pull away to catch your breath, you rest your head against the nook of his neck, basking in his presence as his arms both find their way around your waist. You sigh in pleasure.

“Remember at the beginning of all of this, when you told me ‘Just try not to fall in love with me?’” Jake gently says. Jake feels the slight nod you give against his shoulder as you hum in response.

Jake whispers two more words into your ear, filling you with happiness and warmth you know you won’t be able to find through anyone––or anything––else.

“Too late.”

✰ if you made it ‘til the end, ily :’)))))

2K notes · View notes

anzanity · 3 years

Text

Sword Art

Kazuha fluff with brother Thoma

Anyone have a clue as to Kazuha's age? I am guessing at least 19. So that's how old he is in this...

Amenoma Y/n grew up working on blades since her father was the master blacksmith. Your handy work is actually the blade that Kazuha holds so dear to his heart. And your relationship was much more than just buisness, which it seemed everyone knew.

One day while working the shop Thoma comes up to you, "Y/n! Do you have a minute?" He says with uncharacteristic seriousness.

You nod, "I just finished up for lunch, what's wrong?"

"It's Kazuha. He's become a wanted fugitive. He had to board a ship and leave in a hurry. He wanted me to apologize for him that he couldn't stop by to see you." He says gently.

You breath hitches in your throat, eyes watering. Thoma grabs your shoulders gently, pulling you in for a hug, "I promise... it will be alright. I promised to watch out for you until you can be reunited..."

You grip tightly to him, "Thoma... he can't leave me like this... not now..."

A soft sigh escapes his lips, "there was no other way. It all happened to fast. But I promise. The first chance I find to get you on the ship with him, you will be there."

You pull back some, looking pail, "I... I can't..." Your vision blurs and your voice fails you.

Thoma acts quickly to catch you, "Y/n!"

When you Awake you recognize the setup of your room. Thoma smiles at you, a hint if sadness in his eyes, "Your father told me... I'm sorry. And I'll protect both you and the child... Does Kazuha know?"

With a sigh, a hand moves to your belly, "I was going to tell him today... I just passed the period where something could really go wrong... I was going to tell him over lunch..."

Thoma takes your hand gently, "From now on, you won't be working at the shop. Your Father agrees its too dangerous. Until you can get back with Kazuha, I'll provide for you."

"I can't-.."

"Don't argue me. You never win."

A giggle leaves your lips, "Theres that big brother attitude you normally have with me. But seriously. I want to do something. I..."

"No buts. Seriously. If you want, you can move to my place. It would make me feel better. But no working. The doctor said if you're fainting like that then you need to strictly take it easy." He explains.

"Fine." You grumble.

He laughs softly.

Over the next two months, things are calm.

Then a knock on the door has you getting up and answering it. A strong looking man from the Tenryou Commision looks you over and sighs, "Miss Amenoma. Come with us and bring your vision."

"My vision?" You question.

"Yes. We know you have a geo vision, so bring it." He says. Two other men appear behind him.

Your eyes widen, "Am I in trouble?"

The man glares, "Don't make me ask again. That pregnancy won't stop us from using force. Get your vision and come with us."

You nod quickly and do as told. As you are escorted from the house, you see people watching in shock. Thoma nods to you with a comforting smile. A smile that tells you he will save you.

Once at the prison, they set you in a room for interrogating and spend hours questioning you about where Kazuha is being hidden. You answered honestly that he left Inazuma, but they insist you are hiding him.

That night you are sent to sleep in a cell, your vision taken from you. You sleep without any dreams, if the restlessness you feel can be called sleep.

The morning comes and a gaurd opens the door, letting a man in you swear you know, but just can't recall his name. Everything is jumbled up in your head, yet there's nothing at the same time.

"Y/n... it's me... Thoma... I'm here to get you out...they are releasing you to the Kamisato Estate..." He says gently and holds out a hand.

Something tells you he shouldn't look so solemn.

"Im alright... just feel lost... like I'm missing things from my life... but you remind me of something. Thoma. We were like siblings. And then there was someone else...I can't recall..." You muse softly.

Thoma smiles gently, "You remember more than most who lose their vision. Always the strongest of us. Come on."

You nod and follow him. The walk to the estate feels familiar yet like it's a first time all the same. It's indescribable really. You find yourself watching leaves flutter to the ground longingly, but can't explain why.

Once at the estate you are given a room and a doctor looks you over, verifying everything is just as it should be before leaving.

It doesn't take long from that point on for things to fall into place, a new normalcy for you. Despite Thoma telling you to stop doing things, you help him clean where you can. It distracts you from watching the leaves and feeling lost.

Then the traveler arrives to the estate. Thoma brings them straight to you after they meet with Miss Kamisato.

"This is Y/n. Y/n meet the traveler, Aether." Thoma smiles as he introduces you.

"And Paimon is Paimon!" The floating girl says.

You nod at them and smile briefly before looking back to the trees, "Are you here to help?"

"Depends on what help you need." Aether says, a sympathetic sound to his voice.

"It's not about getting my vision back for me. I just want the one I've lost back... maybe then the leaves in the wind won't be so sad..." You mutter out.

"You must be Kazuha's special someone. You must have lost your vision recently..." He says softly.

"It was taken from me. Yes." You say firm, then look to him, "You know Kazuha? Is the ship still here?" Your voice is quiet as you ask and your hand goes over your 6 month bump as you say it.

"We are on our way to it after this meeting. I promise." Thoma says softly.

"You're a lot quieter than Kazuha described." Paimon says abruptly. Aether glares subtly at her then sighs.

"I hope Kazuha will be alright with that..." You mutter and look away.

"Perhaps it is time to go." Thoma says, sensing the mood is not going in the right direction for you.

Aether nods, "I have to be going as well. Good luck, Y/n."

You nod and stand, following Thoma.

After the walk down to the docks of Rito you are admittedly exhausted, but a flutter of excitement keeps you going. Before long you are away from the people on the docks and infront of an Imposing looking woman who looks a bit surprised, "You must be the famous Y/n. Come right aboard and welcome to the crew. "

"Thank you..." You smile politely and follow her aboard. You look back to see Thoma wave to you before you look ahead and keep walking.

Once on the ship, a familiar man approaches you and looks both happy and regretful. "Y/n... my love... I'm so sorry for everything... to leave you as I did was wrong of me... Thoma filled me in on everything..."

"It's really you... the leaves make since now." You smile softly, a real smile, and hold a hand out to him.

Kazuha smiles, taking your hand in both of his, "I see you haven't changed all that much. I've missed you. Come, there's much I'd like to share with you."

#genshin impact inazuma #genshin impact imagine #gensgin impact #genshin impact x reader #kazuha genshin impact #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha #kazuha x reader #kazuha imagines #thoma imagines #thoma #thoma x reader

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forever-rogue · 3 years

Note

5 with Bucky?

-💛

Prompts | 5. “I’m sick of being useless.”

Pairing | Bucky x Fem!Reader

Warnings | language, mentions of injury, suggestive themes

Masterlists | Bucky, Main

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Let me come with you,” you frowned at Bucky as he vehemently shook his head. You threw your hands up in exasperation, momentarily contemplating pushing his chest to get your point across. You knew it would be in vain, so instead you put your hands on your hips and scoffed, “seriously, Buck? You’re just an asshole. You’re just saying no because you have some weird ego shit about it.”

“You don’t need to come along this mission,” he insisted, keeping his composure as you were the one that was nearing a meltdown. You hated how calm he could be, especially when you wanted to get an actual answer out of him, “it’s not safe. Sam and I will handle it on our own.”

“I helped you idiots in Europe, in Madripoor, and here in New York,” you reminded him as he hung his head and sighed lightly. There had definitely been some wild adventures as you’d tagged along with the two of them. The first time it had been inadvertent and you’d just happened to be there along with Bucky. The other times you’d invited yourself along, much to his chagrin, despite proving useful, “I can do this. I can help. You know I can.”

“But we don’t need you to,” he insisted, flexing his jaw in the way that would normally make you want to jump him then and there. Today it just worked to put fire into your blood, “we can handle it on our own.”

“You’ve been shielding me ever since we got back from Delacroix,” you huffed, folding your arms across your chest as you glared at him, “I don’t need you to protect me. I’m sick of feeling useless when the two of you are working and I’m left behind. I’m not a super soldier or anything, but I’ve got skills too.”

A tense silence fell over the two of you as you stared at each other. Bucky sighed as he ran a hand over his face as you attempted to push past him. But he was quicker and his vibranium fingers latched around your wrist in a firm grasp, “stop and listen to me for a moment and quit acting like a brat.”

“I’m busy being annoyed at you,” you pouted at him as he relaxed slightly when he realized you weren’t going to fight him off, “let me go, Buck.”

“The reason I keep you away from what we do is not because I don’t think you’re capable or that I don’t trust you,” he insisted as he pulled you into body as if you were nothing but a rag-doll. Your chest was pressed against his as he watched you closely, your breath suddenly hitching in your throat as his hands found your waist, “I want to keep you safe. Your safety is my main goal - my only priority.”

“Nothing’s ever happened,” you couldn’t help but chance at his lips as you subconsciously licked your own, “I’ve always been safe.”

“We both know that’s a lie, sugar,” he insisted, his fingers grazing over the scar on your hip from where you’d gotten stabbed by one of Karli’s Flag Smashers in Europe. Bucky had almost lost his mind at the injury and wanted nothing but vengeance, but that wasn’t him anymore. Instead his focus had been on getting you safe and treated - everything else could wait for later, "or have you so easily forgotten about this? That you now have because of me."

"I don't have that because of you," you grabbed his jaw in your hand and forced him to look at you. His ocean eyes were tinged with fear but slowly melted as you stared at him, "I hope you don't truly believe that. It happened in the moment - it could have been anyone. I just happened to be on the receiving end."

"Exactly...it was you."

"It was a one time thing, baby," you promised as you brushed your lips against his, "its not going to happen again, I swear it. I know you protect me - I am also more capable than you think."

"Its not you I don't trust," he almost moaned into your mouth as you carded your arms around his neck, "its everyone else."

"I know," you agreed as your kisses grew more frantic, “but there’s always going to be shitty people in the world, but I know you’ll be there to help me. Fuck, I love you.”

“I would tear anyone from limb to limb if they even thought about hurting my girl,” he insisted as he parted from you to catch his breath. You gave him a moment to recollect himself before gently pulling on his dog tags and pulling him back down to your lips.

“How do you think I would feel if anything happened to you, my honey baby?” you whispered before trailing kisses along his jaw, “I would hurt anyone that even came near you with bad intentions.”

Bucky effortlessly picked you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you towards the bedroom. His lips almost never parted from yours as he tried to keep you as close to him as possible. After having been denied of touch and intimacy for so long, he craved it more than anything - especially from you. There was nothing he loved more than getting to feel your skin on his skin, to feel your heart beating in time with his.

"I love you, Bucky," he trailed kisses down your neck as he laid you down on the bed. He stopped for a moment as he studied you, a hand gently going to your face as he stroked your cheek.

It was then that he reached around his neck and slowly pulled off his dog tags, letting them glint into the light for a moment. Your lips parted slightly as he gently placed when around your own neck, letting them fall in the valley of your breasts.

"There," he leaned down to kiss you, "now everyone knows you're my girl. Don't take them off."

"Never," you promised him softly, "you're a fool sometimes but I love you so much, Bucky."

"A fool for being protective-"

"Overprotective," you grinned as he nipped at the skin of your neck.

"Fine," he smirked against your skin, "call me overprotective, but I still love you."

"I love you too," you promised, "now hurry up and fuck me."

"Yes ma'am."

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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@qhbr2013 @greeneyedblondie44 @april-showers-and-flowers @softboiipascal @im-an-adult-ish @patzammit @niki-xie @xxlovingfandomsxx @startrekkingaroundasgard @welcometothepedroverse @actual-spawn-of-satan @punkerthanpascal @lazybeeches @someday-when-you-leave-me @justgivemethekeys @salome-c @rosiefridayrogersunday @neptunesglow @artsymaddie @haildoodles @amneris21 @star017 @irepostthingsiwanttoseelater @its–fandom–darling @ayamenimthiriel @alyispunk @djarinbarnes @edencherries @ashamed23 @sunsetskywalkerr @nikkixostan @spookispunk @cable-kenobi @hrtsgetbrkn @ironicfoxes @iilwjbb @cc13723things @thenormreedus @gooddaykate @natthebattygeologist @sociallyantisocialbutterfly @n3ssm0nique @daughterofthenight117 @riddikulus-obsessions @imaginelover88 @saint-bvcky @banana-cheese-cake @sleep-tight1 @missstef23 @moonlacebeam @asylummara @wakandabiitch2

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you

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turing-tested · 2 years

Text

@kin anon i understand you trying to draw a distinction but i think a huge part of context you may be missing is that you cannot separate the rise of "irl" with the rise of attributing kinning in a "but no really i swear im this thing" way to many many people saying that it was a symptom of psychosis

like yes irl was a term that was supposed to mean "no no really its serious im this irl" to distinguish from the concept of kinning as it had been understood but it quite literally was hand in hand with people attributing these beliefs no longer to a spiritual thing or some odd (subculturally accepted) belief and instead attributing it to psychosis incorrectly for a lot of reasons you could speculate on pretty easily.

dont get me wrong i dont think those people are even particularly malicious but i think that i would disagree with the idea that many people who define themselves as "irls" are actually psychotic or delusional, as someone who is speaking from a psychotic and delusional frame of reference, the insistence that if you believe "insert strange thing here that the subculture you're active in supports and acknowledges as normal" then you must be psychotic and you must be delusional which is an incredibly heavy claim to declare for both yourself and anyone else who has alternative beliefs (granted i do think that an end result of "if everyones psychotic.....then no one will be" is really funny and technically literally how psychosis is defined as being "accepted" or not) additionally im not disagreeing with you that words mean things, the post about radical inclusionists was more about pointing out the irony that after trawling through dozens of bios and carrds the trend (for who are arguing that kin means a Specific thing, wont you please use another word, its hurtful to take this word from people who have been using it to mean this for years) was that the majority of them ALSO commonly stated that they forgo believing in "words mean things" in favor of "identify how you want if you feel like it fits" and the irony of many of those people actually in fact having a line in the sand about words meaning things and that perhaps they are not radically inclusive so much as many people who claim to be that are just pretending that their line in the sand is the most progressive and correct of all of them like im not arguing either position really it was more of just a statement of "oh a lot of these people arguing this commonly actually make it a point of their loudly proclaimed politics to declare something completely different" also if it helps i have been kinning since 2016 and i can absolutely promise you i understand the history and use of the word and that i was there for huge portions of the subculture developing because i was pretty active in it as it was happening, like i appreciate the history lesson but i was definitely online and doing the things you are describing to me as to what "kin is" and i’ve got posts going back to 2016 in specific tags outlining my understanding of kin and how i participated in the beliefs that will pretty much match what you said but with a caveat that i, like many others at the time and also today, felt that kin could be described as a spectrum that ranged anywhere from “i like this” to “i am this on all levels”

#dont speak the words of something something something witch i was there when it was written /lh

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