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domreader-headcannon-scenarios · 2 months

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This BECANE SO LONGI’m not proofreading…

Leviathan x Reader x Foras

Cw Reader cucks Leviathan with a servant who is ‘cloaked, slight dub con voyerism, slight dub con hand job, Public stuff, teasing, spur of the moment threesome

It was a rare sight to see Leviathan so livid, yet, no one was hurt, quite the opposite actually.

While you sat in another person’s lap, right in front you sat Leviathan, your partner. He was watching you ride a random (to him) demon while he’s left naked and tied up, unable to even touch himself as he watches you.

The demon with you was using Foras’ ability, he knew that, but he wasn’t certain if, it was in fact, his most trusted and loyal servant. He growled, baring his teeth at the thought.

If it wasn’t humiliating enough to be exposed to one of his minions like this, he didn’t even know which one it was.

He tried to stay quiet, even as the sound of your flesh slapping against yours, he tried to listen to any sound they make, thinking he could use it to identify them. He even closes his eyes to focus better, but right as he thinks he can hear their voice.

You must have noticed since with take advantage of the fact he cant see with his eyes closed, and land a harsh slap on his defenseless groin, getting lucky hit and hitting just below the base, getting his cock and balls.

“Ah! The h-hell was that for?” He groans, glaring at you as the throbbing between his legs got worse. He needed to cum, but he wanted to focus on the man penetrating you. After-all, it’s not like he could ask someone else about this.

As king, he refuses to go to his minions and ask ‘Do you know the demon that cucked me?’ Or anything along those lines.

His attention is once again pulled away from the other demon while you grab the base of his cock, squeezing it in an agonizingly tight grip.

Leviathan hates the pathetic moan he lets out, to his humiliation if it wasn’t for your hand, he’d have cum from just a tight squeeze.

“Focus on the show, Levi.”

You teased him, to his horror his cock bobbed, letting all three of you see how much he enjoys this. To his surprise the other male demon whines, on instinct his attention is drawn to look where the man’s face would be (judging by the noise) and he realizes by your position…

You are letting the other demon lay his upper body on yours, chest to back…that demons weight is on you…

He snarls without noticing, getting caught off guard with another slap to his groin.

But you released the grip on his cock, Leviathan let out a surprised whine as he cums.

He looks at his cock in horror. Is he truly so depraved he just got off to being slapped, twice?

He threw his head back in frustration, thrusting forwards subconsciously.

He needs to kill the demon your with!

He cant let ANY of his subordinates see him like this!

As he’s throwing a mini tantrum. He suddenly stops, a thought clicking in his head. He looks begrudgingly between your legs.

You’d been cruel, allowing him to see to see your body opening for the invisible cock.

He’s seen how you stretch for his own cock, and the demon your riding right now, is smaller than him.

He feels his own cock twitch as a small sense of pride fills him.

That’s…all he can recognize, he knows it isn’t Glaysa, given the size…but that leaves so many demons.

He groans internally…trying to estimate the general size of the cock. Leviathan thinks to himself he could…’inspect’ his subordinates, he doesn’t need a reason, he knows his subordinates would let him do anything…

His eyes twitch as he sees cum drip from your opening…

That’s it…he is definitely punishing whoever this is.

To dare to penetrate you in front of him, watch him be humiliated, THEN to cum INSIDE you…

Leviathan bites his lip as he suppressed a growl. He can faintly hear low moans escaping the demon, the tone…he knows it’s one of his devils, one of the 72.

He knows Foras is the only one who can make anyone invisible…he’d have to ‘inspect’ him first.

He loses his thoughts once more as he sees you clenching down in the invisible cock, he realizes that you have climaxed too. On the other males cock.

He grimaced at the thought. He collapsed against the bed, knowing he’s not going to be untied until the other make gets a good head start.

He watches as they slip out of you, their cock covered in cum, a mix of both of yours. You help him clean up, using a cloth to clean the cum off him and yourself. Levithan can hear the grunt from the demon as you nearly stroke his cock while getting the essences of you both off him.

Leviathan’s eyes narrow as the other demon leaves while he’s still tied, and you’re cleaning him up. Leviathan moans, feeling you take his cock into your hand and rather roughly rubbing it dry. He can hear the door to his room open and close, but you still wait to untie him. By the time you start to untie him, he realizes it would be too late to find the minion right away…

He’d have to run around the palace and find the nearest demons…he can ‘inspect’ them, if he’s fast enough he might find them…but…you’re holding him while untying him, leaving him wanting to stay…

Hell, he will search later…he knows if he takes off you’d probably chase after him…

The following day, Levithan had made a plan to isolate nearly all his followers, and check them, his first would of course be Foras, as he could outright ask him who he helped hide, or even if it was him.

Levithan’s blood boiled at the thought…true he made the order that none of his demons were allowed ALONE with you…he should have ordered them to not be allowed to touch you like that…

He finds his target fast enough. Foras is alone like usual, he shoved Foras against a wall, blocking his exits.

“Last night. Were you the one who was with me and (M/c)? If it wasn’t, I need to know now who it was.”

Leviathan growled out, when Foras flinched back against the wall and offered no info he decided plan b was his only option…

He unzipped Foras’s pants, reaching in and pulling down his underwear enough to reveal his cock. Foras jumped and tried to push his hands away, or at least tuck his cock away before his king could see it.

“You’re Majesty! W-what is going on? W-why are you-“

Foras gasped and was caught off as to his horror Levithan was stroking him. In a public hall.

“I saw how they stretched, I have a rough estimate of their size. Get hard faster.”

Leviathan said as if it was an order. Foras heard footsteps coming and wanted to hide…but he couldn’t…not with Leviathan keeping a watchful eye on him.

“Your Majesty Leviathan…please I hear someone coming.” Foras whimpered out. He didn’t even get a reaction form Levithan, until he felt Levithan squeeze him with near crushing force, his cock visibly deflating from its barely hard state and going limp.

He didn’t need to hear Levithan speak to know he’d been caught.

“It was you, wasn’t it?”

Leviathan growled, squeezing his subordinates cock torturously, he ignored the footsteps getting closer. He towered over Foras, looking down upon him as Foras visibly shrank.

Leviathan stepped in front of Foras to hide his exposed genitals, still in Levithan’s hand as he hid his servants shame from the person walking in.

Levithan instantly tightened his grip even more so as he sees you walking through the door. He debates releasing Foras and punishing him later but you waltz on over smiling.

You had to have been suspicious he’d do this as without hesitation he sees you aiming to separate him from Foras, you stop though seeing Levithan’s hand…on Foras’s cock, which was completely limp, red at the tip undoubtedly from the the pressure trapped in it.

“What did I miss?” You force Levithan to release Foras, having to physically pry his hand off. “Leviathan, I didn’t know you like cock…I’d have invited someone sooner if I knew.”

You tease, to get his attention on you, and to pull attention away from Foras. Leviathan growls.

“It was him, I saw how big he was while you rode him. He shouldnt have touched you.” Levithan snarls. “I’m going to punish hi-“

Leviathan stops and watches as you drop to your knees in front of Foras, gently kissing his cock, kissing the bruises Levithan left.

“Stop.”

Leviathan said, in a low rasp in his voice as you see surprise and anger across his face. “You…how long have you two been?” He says…seemingly more upset seeing how Foras is getting hard so fast from you, while he struggled to get his minion erect.

He wanted to pull you two apart but…seeing you two made him ache, he wanted to be involved, not push Foras away and have you for himself…

Maybe he needed to fuck around with Foras to feel better?

After that thought he approaches you two, grabbing his hand and placing it over his lap, right as you take Foras’ cock into your mouth. Foras whimpers in confusion, accepting both the roles he’s being pushed in.

He tries to stroke Levithan. He tries to mirror how you touch him, he has never…done this kind of thing…he knows how to touch himself but not another male.

You hum in approval, before you could do anything else Foras spoke up. “Please, can you two please…wait till we are in private?”

Leviathan scoffed and growled at him.

“You can just make us invisible if anyone comes.”

You do stop even as Levithan argues. “We should, I’d like to be on a more comfortable area too.” You get up, helping them both tuck themselves away.

Leviathan dragged you two to his bedroom, throwing Foras onto the bed and placing you down. When Foras attempted to move back Leviathan grabbed him and pulled him back.

“Levi, gentle.” You ordered, slapping his cock as payback. Leviathan groaned in response, letting go of Foras. Foras looked to you with a mix of respect and admiration. Leviathan seemed to get more agitated at that.

“Thank you, (M/c). I appreciate i-it.” He gently wrapped an arm around you, only to get pulled closer to Levithan. “Y-your Majesty?”

Leviathan push him with force down against the bed, getting between his legs. “Have a seat.” He says to you, helping you straddle Foras. Said demon whimpers as you are seated against his cock, you two quickly remove his clothes, leaving you seated on his cock.

Foras is flushed realizing quickly that Leviathan is punishing him with you not knowing. He knows your not gonna let him inside you just to avoid an outburst from Leviathan…and Leviathan was teasing him by not letting him have you…

You roll your hips against his cock, enjoying the friction. Leviathan on the other hand lifts up Foras’ hips and slips himself rather quickly and half hazardly into Foras, earning a whimper. While your movements are gentle, pleasant movements, Leviathans’ are rough and careless.

The dual stimulation made Foras whimper, turning invisible to hide his blushing. Of course the two of you don’t need to see him to keep going, and in seconds you feel a familiar wetness between your legs you glance down to see cum pouring from his invisible cock. Foras is whimpering and gasping, you hear Levithan growl as he thrust faster.

“There we go…that feels better.” Leviathan teasingly moaned, leaning into you. Leviathan grins down at Foras as he places his weight into you while you rub yourself against Foras. Leviathan locks eyes with him over your shoulder and Foras freezes realizing.

Leviathan is mimicking how he was leaning on you last night…to prove to Foras he can’t have you only to himself.

#nsft #whb #what in hell is bad #sub whb #dom reader #sub Foras #sub leviathan #leviathan x reader x foras #Foras x reader x leviathan #Foras x Reader #leviathan x reader #leviathan x mc #Foras x mc #levithan #Foras

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viridianevergarden · 2 months

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My thoughts regarding Azriel’s shadows and their behaviors:

This is a very long deep dive into Az’s shadows and covers every aspect that I have been able to identify about them. Read at your own peril.

Let’s start with what we’ve been given in terms of his lore…

We know that in his childhood, Az was locked into a dungeon until he was eleven years old. He was denied light and social interaction.

He would only ever be allowed to see his own mother for an hour per week. And he would only ever be let out for one hour everyday for whatever else.

Then he was abused by his brothers at age eight, his hands being endlessly burned and half healed as to torture him for fun.

He was never allowed to learn how to fly nor fight because of his fucked up family.

Rhys guessed that the shadowsinger gift came to him in his cell at some point but nothing more has been said since. Not even Rhys or anyone else knows. Azriel hasn’t spoken about it.

If I’m to glean anything from what we’ve seen, Azriel’s shadows:

Are a tool that he utilizes

Act as a defense mechanism

Have minds of their own

Can showcase his feelings externally

So let’s run through these one by one, shall we?

1. A Tool

Through the books, time and again, Azriel has shown that his shadows provide information and feedback to him as a Shadowsinger. They are responsible for his expert ability to be a Spymaster and he is able to clearly communicate with them. He understands them.

This is no secret and by far the easiest observation to be made, especially since this is what characters talk about most regarding Az’s spymaster abilities in the books themselves.

Examples of Az utilizing his shadows:

Azriel stepped out of a shadow. “What is that,” he hissed.

A shake of the head. “No—but the shadows, the wind … They recoil.”

I assumed Azriel was nearby, seeking sanctuary in the shadows.

Within a heartbeat, Azriel had vanished into shadows and was gone.

Az snickered to himself, to the listening shadows around him. Sleep, they seemed to whisper in his ear. Sleep.

I wish I could, he answered silently. But sleep so rarely found him these days.

He pulled the small velvet box from the shadows around him. Opened it for her.

Again, none of this is any secret at all but this is pretty much the foundation of Az’s abilities.

2. A Defense Mechanism

This might be more of a controversial take but I do think that his shadows are most definitely a defense mechanism in their own way.

Think about it:

He was a boy who underwent massive torture day in and day out, who was left in a cell for years on end. He was alone. Imagine how his mental state spiraled.

Perhaps the shadows came to him then because he was alone. They became some sort of company for him even if they weren’t there to provide comfort. And when they did attach themselves to him, his powers festered into existence. Only then was he dumped into a war camp.

So not only are they a part of him because they have attached themselves to him, but they protect him by making up for his insecurities or vulnerabilities.

To be aware of all of his surroundings at once, to have another voice in his ear to say “hey, this person has just left.” I can imagine that the shadows keep him feeling secure. They keep him safe by notifying him of his surroundings and the presences that encompass them. As a Spymaster and Shadowsinger, I’m sure that security is huge, especially for himself.

To add on to this, consider how Azriel is as a person. He prefers to keep attention away from himself. He doesn’t talk much and he hides his hands from everyone when he can. He dislikes being the center of attention. He avoids the topic of his past actively and limits how much others speak of it. He uses his shadows to hide during certain conversations and to hide his emotions.

This excerpt from Feyre’s POV:

Nothing. Absolutely nothing on that face, on his scent. The shadows, whatever the hell they were, hid too well. Too much.

I think he very well does use them as a method of defense even from those he trusts and loves, be it consciously or subconsciously.

3. They Have a Mind of Their Own

Now we do know that the shadows have a manner of conscious and intelligence.

They have:

Told Azriel to sleep (Do they care for his wellbeing?)

Actively relayed him information

Occasionally failed to notify him of things or they simply choose not to when they want (proof in BC)

‘Danced’

Occasionally skittered back in response to certain stimuli

Fully disappeared in the presence of few

Been reactive to their environment

They have persistently shown that they are quite like another being or mind that is attached to Az. They have a voice, they respond to stimuli, etc. It just makes me think that they are somehow, some way, a type of separate entity that latched onto him or perhaps they are a mirror of himself, kind of like an altar ego.

4. They Externalize His Feelings

This is the biggest gripe and most controversial of it all. This is the part that people usually argue over because it deals heavily with Az’s feelings. Of course this section is always up for debate —on how you interpret Azriel’s shadows and their behaviors— but this is my opinion.

His shadows have been repeatedly shown to shy away, skitter back, or completely disappear in the presence of two people and specifically react to one thing.

Now with this being said, let’s look into the two people that they react around.

Mor:

It was almost enough to distract me from noticing Azriel as those shadows lightened, and his gaze slid over [at Mor].

Mor patted Azriel on the shoulder… The lurking shadows vanished entirely as Azriel’s head dipped a bit—his night-dark hair sliding over his handsome face as if to shield him from that mercilessly beautiful grin.

“He did not,” Mor said, and the shadows that Azriel had indeed been subtly weaving around himself vanished. “Azriel has never once said anything that awful. Only you, Cassian. Only you.”

Most instances are where Azriel is near Mor, when he is looking at her, when she touches him, when she is defending him or talking about him while he is around. They vanish or dissipate in her presence. These were all during the times that Azriel was obviously in love and pining for Mor.

Elain:

Azriel arrived first, no shadows to be seen, my sister a pale, golden mass in his arms. He, too, wore his Illyrian armor, Elain’s golden- brown hair snagging in some of the black scales across his chest and shoulders.

“I can help her,” said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing his fingers as he extended a hand.

[Elain’s] smile grew, bright enough that it lit up even Azriel’s shadows across the room. “I would like to build a garden,” she declared. “After all of this … I think the world needs more gardens.”

He still wore his Siphons atop either hand, and shadows trailed his footsteps, curling like swirled embers, but there was little sign of the warrior otherwise.

Elain sucked in a soft breath that whispered over his skin. His shadows skittered back at the sound. They'd always been prone to vanish when she was around.

It has been made extremely clear that Azriel’s shadows also disappear or partially dissipate when he is in Elain’s presence. They react to her actions accordingly.

They acted the same way around Mor until the detail of his shadows disappearing around Mor slowly became noted less by Feyre. On the same timeline, Az’s behavior toward Mor slowly changed. He became indifferent and his longing looks toward her became few and far between as noted by Cassian and Feyre. He had evidently given up hope on Mor.

At the same time, Feyre began making note of Az’s shadows and their behaviors around Elain as well as his behavior toward her.

From here on out, I’m going to assume that we all know how Azriel feels about Elain. Regardless of your opinions on their relationship dynamic, I hope we all can agree that at the very least, Azriel has a growing positive attraction to Elain across 4 books, which has then been blatantly shown to be mutual between the two in the Bonus.

With all of this being said, his shadows’ behaviors between these two women parallel one another with the obvious answer being Love.

Aside from the two girls, there is one last thing that Azriel’s shadows have reacted to.

Music:

Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer.

(HOFAS) And with each mile onward, she could hear Azriel humming softly to himself. The rolling, wild melody of “Stone Mother” flowed off his lips, and she could have sworn even the shadows danced at the sound.

I think that with the addition of HOFAS’ bonus chapter (with Bryce, Nesta, and Azriel), the claim that the shadows’ reactions to Gwyn’s singing being something special can be softly debunked. (There are still possibilities, I know, hence ‘softly’.)

Azriel is a musically oriented person from what we’ve seen. He claims that he does in fact sing and it’s obvious that he does in fact like music. This in turn may explain why his shadows react the way they do. Again, if Azriel’s shadows are a mirroring of his inner self, if they are indeed an outward expression of himself, it would be natural for them to react to music since he enjoys it.

Final Thoughts:

Azriel’s shadows have only disappeared around the people that he has longed for.

If the shadows do in fact have a mind of their own, if they do cover him as a means to protect him and are defensive toward any other being or force, if they only falter for one person, then it must be because those shadows know that Azriel is safe with that person. Or at the very least, they dissipate and disappear around that person because they are the one who he wants to be most vulnerable toward.

If the shadows are indeed a mirror to Az’s inner self, then of course they would ‘dance’ to music. Because that is something that Azriel loves and is passionate about. Of course his shadows would reflect that, especially if his passion is strong enough.

Azriel’s shadows, all and all, are an entity that has a conscious. It has intelligence. It communicates with him. It protects him. But it also has the ability to expose his deepest feelings.

They are motivated by love, passion, and act even against Az’s will.

Maybe he’s not as unreadable as some think. I don’t think most of the IC have really thought about the shadows much. After all, he’s just a Spymaster and Shadowsinger.

Good gods this was very long but if you made it this far, I hope you enjoyed lol. I hope all of this made sense.

#acotar #elriel #azriel shadowsinger #elain archeron #mor #the morrigan #a court of thorns and roses #those blasted shadows #pro elriel #elain x azriel

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egalitarian-tomboy · 4 months

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Kalim’s Desperation & Brokenness

I don’t think people understand how traumatized & broken Kalim is.

“What’re you talking about? Isn’t he the most sunshine-filled characters in Twisted Wonderland?” I hear you ask.

Let me explain.

While Kalim isn’t a prince, he still comes from a long line of influential and powerful merchants that have family members connected to the royal family of the Scalding Sands. He’s the eldest child and the heir to the family business that he will take over once his father retires. Because of his claim, many assassination attempts have been made on his life. From jealous extended family members to rival merchants. He’s 17 years old and he’s developed the ability to identify poisons. That’s not normal. That’s not something a normal teenager has to worry about or needs to develop. He’s been poisoned enough times that he eventually began to question everything he’s been given to eat except for the food and drinks that were prepared by Jamil. Because he trusts him that much. Did anyone stop & think about the fact that Kalim grew up thinking the next meal could be his last? That he grew up not wanting to eat anything regardless of who made it until Jamil started to cook for him? That’s legitimate PTSD he has that just gets glossed over.

Also because he is the number one target of his family’s rivals and jealous family members, he never got to make legitimate friends aside from Jamil. Jamil was his first and only boy in his age group not connected by blood that he was able to socialize with and hang out with. Jamil got to go to a normal school while Kalim had to be tutored away from the other kids. Jamil got to enjoy festivals among the crowds without the worry of being kidnapped, while Kalim had to attend the family gatherings / business meetings first before he was allowed to go celebrate with the others. Even then he was under constant supervision. It wasn’t until he started attending NRC that he started to make friends in his own age group outside of his family home. That’s depressing as fuck. So of course he’s going to try to get people around him to enjoy themselves and be happy. There’s a desperation in his happiness that doesn’t get pointed out by others but he’s not a robot that only knows joy. He’s not dumb. He knows that the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. He’s been the target of several assassination attempts and he flat out says that Jamil could’ve killed him at any point in his 17 years of life. He trusted him with his life on a daily basis, if anyone had the chance to kill him it’d be Jamil. But Jamil didn’t kill him, he wanted to be free of the caste system that bounded them as Master-Servant.

Kalim has been able to bluntly point out to people their concerns and their thoughts about people / topics. Although he’s oblivious to some social situations, that doesn’t mean he’s not adept at reading social cues. Especially since he was one of the first to realize that Vil was starting to act like Jamil before he overblot.

The students at NRC don’t see him as being selfish and uncaring, quite the opposite. A lot of the dormmates see Kalim as almost a brother-like figure and they’re all willing to let Jamil have a second chance at being Vice Warden after he reverted back to normal because Kalim asked them to give him a chance. In terms of the main cast, he’s fun to be around and he’s very sweet. But they’re not afraid to tell him “no” just because he’s from a prestigious family. That’s something I believe he’s been craving more than his freedom from his own house.

I believe that Kalim is partially inspired by Jasmine as well because Jasmine’s entire thing was getting freedom to do what she wanted and fall in love with who she wanted. Because if you really think about it...Kalim might be forced into an arranged marriage and that means that Kalim might not even have the chance to fall in love with who he wants.

He has a lot of development he still needs to do. But I believe his time at NRC is beneficial to that growth. Hopefully this post kind of helped flesh out this whole perspective of him.

#Twisted Wonderland #Disney's Twisted Wonderland #TWST #Kalim Al Asim #Kalim Asim #Long Post #Analysis

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dr-spencer-reids-queen · 7 months

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Cold Comfort: Part Two

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Summary: You meet another psychic on a case that doesn’t want to work with you, and everyone’s faith is tested on exactly what you can do.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

The three victims found are Annette Hagen, the first, Erin Bonham, the second, and Melissa Claire, the recent one. The only one who is still out there is Brooke, but you know she is still alive. All three victims were embalmed, but they all died of blood loss.

That means they were alive when they were embalmed.

Tox screens show significant levels of Barbiturate which is a heavy sedative to the point where someone can become unconscious. All three women were found with the same haircut even though they were taken with much longer hair, which means the unsub cut it. Another thing the unsub has done to them was pierce their ear so that they all have double piercings.

None of them were sexually abused since there has been no tearing or bruising, but the ME did find trace amounts of semen.

The unsub had sex with their bodies after they died.

You don't want to pressure Sandra into making a decision on who she wants to work on the case, so you head back to the station where you're needed.

"Hotch," you say and he excuses himself from talking to someone, "I just talked to Stanely and he refuses to work with me."

"Don't bring him in, Aaron," Rossi backs you up. "Y/N is here. She's proven she can take care of things."

"We won't bring him in," Hotch shrugs.

"I just spoke to the families," JJ walks into the room. "None of the victims had double-pierced ears at the time of their abduction."

"He's changing them."

"Into what?" Derek asks.

"Not what," you say, "it's who. The burial suggests an affection for his victims, which says he might be remaking them into the image of a loved one."

"The ME found high traces of Barbiturate, right?" JJ asks.

"Yeah, why?"

"It's something the psychic said. Brooke felt tired and heavy."

"Why are we talking about the psychic? It's a scam. These guys talk without saying anything and you fall for it."

"Is it so wrong to want to believe?" JJ argues.

"JJ, you know the profile. A necrophiliac has no use for a live victim."

"Can I talk to you?" you ask Rossi. You pull Rossi off to the side away from everyone else. "If there is a small part of you that believes what I can do, doesn't that mean you should believe in what other people can do? Not all psychics are frauds."

"You've proven to me you know what you're doing."

"I understand that, but you're limiting yourself by not giving people the benefit of the doubt. You did it with me."

"You kind of forced it on me."

"Yeah, I did," you chuckle, "but that doesn't mean it's not true."

"What did you read about him?"

"Stanley is mostly right with his ability. There are things that are so obvious that he can pick up, but he's not as strong as me. I read between the lines, he sees what's right in front of him. He puts the puzzle together and guesses, and because of that, he was named a fraud. He thought he could get away with it."

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear."

"I'm just theorizing. I make mistakes too, Rossi."

Rossi is already walking away and calling Penelope. He won't listen to reason, but you have more important things to do like give the profile. Detective Ron Fullwood gathers his men and women to hear what your team has to say.

"By now we know the DNA found on the victims did not match anyone in the system, so we're gonna have to look beyond physical evidence to identify the killer," Hotch begins. "Our unsub is a white male in his mid to late twenties with a lot of money. He lives alone in a large residence. There's enough space and ventilation to accommodate an embalming suite. He's awkward with people, especially with women. An inability to relate socially is common in homicidal necrophiles."

"Because of the alterations to the bodies, we believe the unsub is attempting to recreate a woman he once loved. Like a girlfriend, wife, or mother. Someone who left or died suddenly."

"This projection of the loved one coupled with his need to preserve the victims through embalming is similar to the psychopathology of serial murderer Ed Gein," Spencer explains. "Gein had an oedipal complex which developed in the years he nursed his paralyzed mother back from a stroke. After she died, his obsession compelled him to dig up the corpses of women who resembled his mother. He was so persistent to resurrect his dead mother, he actually dressed in female suits fashioned from human skin. Eventually, Gein grew unhappy with the flesh of dead bodies, which had a tendency to dry and crack. So, he shifted his focus to live victims whose bodies he could better preserve."

"The evolution from dead to live victims will also be mirrored in our unsub's maturation. We've put together a list of incident reports prior to 2006. You're gonna want to follow up on these. They are inappropriate postmortem conduct, cadaver theft, and graveyard disturbances," Emily says.

"Sixty percent of necrophiles work in the death business, so be sure to canvass local cemeteries, mortuaries, and morgues. Since we have the killer's DNA, we're gonna be sending you out with kits to swab potential suspects."

"The odds of finding Brooke Lombardini alive are slim, but the quicker we identify the killer, the better her chances are. For her sake, let's work fast."

Everyone broke into teams of two to go around the area and talk to different suspects, different MEs, and anyone else who might have information on the case. You're paired with Hotch and you walk into the third ME office that afternoon. You didn't get anything with the other MEs but hopefully, this one has information. When you explained the situation to her, about someone defiling corpses, she wasn't that surprised.

"I won't lie. It happens in the industry, and we put a stop to it when it does."

"You don't report it to the police?"

"We like to keep that kind of thing quiet."

"A killer is dressing up his dead victims and violating them. Maybe quiet isn't the best way to go," you say.

"He dresses them up?"

"Does that mean something to you?"

"We hired an apprentice a while back. He's an odd guy even for this business. I didn't like the attention he paid the female cadavers. I came to find out he liked to do their makeup and put a wig on them and such."

"Can you describe the wig to me?"

"I can do you one better. I have the wig he used on the females." The ME brings you over to the box they have with the wig. "We cleaned out his locker after his termination. He never came back for it. Imagine that."

"I need this man's name."

Ivan Bakunas lives close to where he used to work, so you and Hotch head over there immediately. Detective Fullwood wants to come along to catch this guy since he promised Sandra that he'd find her daughter alive. If this man truly killed the three victims, then you will be able to feel them on him. This either could go very well or not well at all. You knock on the door and Ivan answers. He keeps the door cracked open slightly as if he's nervous or scared for someone to see what's inside his house.

Just from one look at him, you know he didn't kill those women. You've seen the bodies, and his energy doesn't match up to the energy left on them.

"Ivan Bakunas?"

"Yes. Can I help you?" he stutters.

"You could invite us inside. It's a little cold out here."

"I can't. Mother's sleeping."

"We're investigating a series of murders in the area. We believe the killer works in your field."

"You're kidding. Do I know him?"

"You might. His victims are just your type with blond hair and blue skin," Hotch accuses.

"You're suggesting I'm some kind of murderer? You are way out of line."

"So, you wouldn't object to giving us a sample of your DNA?"

"No."

"We can get a warrant."

"I think I've said all I'm gonna say."

He shuts the door in your face since he refuses to talk to you further.

"He didn't do it, Hotch. He's an icky person, yes, but he's not our killer. His energy doesn't match up to the ones I found on the bodies."

"Are you a psychic?" Ron asks.

"Yes, a better one than Stanley is." You look at Hotch. "It'll hurt a little bit if you don't believe me at this point in our relationship."

Hotch believes you one hundred percent, but he still has Penelope look into him. If he's a killer for other women you haven't found, then you can kill two birds with one stone. By the time you get to the police station, Penelope has some dirt on Ivan.

"Did you find anything on Ivan?" Emily asks.

"Nothing in juvie, but he was expelled from Evergreen State for sexually assaulting his girlfriend. He was slipping her tranquilizers and having sex with her while she slept."

"That qualifies."

"Between that and the wig, we should be able to persuade a judge," Ron says.

"Listen, Ivan is icky, and he's done stuff he should definitely be arrested for, but he didn't kill these women."

"How do you know?"

"You won't understand."

You look at Hotch for backup, and this time, he stands up for you.

"Detective, Y/N has been with us for years. She's helped catch killers and save victims plenty of times by using her abilities. I'm not gonna stand in your way if you want to serve a warrant on Bakunas, but I think you're wasting your time."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Alongside Y/N, we profiled a man of means. According to his tax records, Bakunas hasn't held down a job since he graduated college. He lives with his mother and doesn't have a car. The embalming equipment and the drugs aren't cheap."

"Look, this guy likes to get it on with dead people. If that's not probable cause, I don't know what is."

"Hotch," JJ interrupts, "a 911 operator just got a distress call from someone claiming to be Brooke."

You follow JJ into a conference room where she has a recording of the 911 call Penelope sent in. Brooke's mom is also in the room so she can identify her daughter's voice.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"Hello?" Brooke whispers.

"Can you speak up, ma'am?"

"No. He'll hear me. This is Brooke Lombardini. Please, I need help."

"Where are you calling from, ma'am?"

"I'm being held prisoner."

"Okay, ma'am. Can you look outside? Can you see a street name or an address?"

"Please... I think he's gonna kill me. Please help me."

The call ends there like Brooke hung up abruptly since the unsub came to check on her.

"That's her. That's Brooke," Sandra says.

"You're certain? She's barely audible. Any surveillance expert will tell you it's almost impossible to positively identify a whisper."

"You think I don't know my own daughter's voice?"

"Why would someone who was not Brooke call 911 and say they were?" Ron asks.

"Sometimes people get off injecting themselves into the story. You've been on TV now and that could bring out a lot of sick individuals."

"Stanley said she was alive. This proves it."

"Ma'am, Stanley isn't reliable. He has a vested interest in telling you that your daughter is alive," you say.

"Do you have a vested interest in telling me that she's not?"

"He has a record, ma'am," Rossi says. "I had a colleague look into it. Usher was charged with fraud in Oregon before he moved here."

"I need my baby to be alive."

"Listen to me, Sandra," you interject. "I'm not Stanley, but I am more than happy to help you out. I don't have a record, I am not a fraud, and I am the real deal. I want to help you find your daughter just as much as you want her to be alive. Let me give you hope."

She looks around the room at everyone before moving closer to you.

"You better find her alive. I'm placing my faith in you now."

She leaves the room and everyone inside is speechless. They all stare at you as if you promised to move mountains.

"I'll find her alive," you promise.

"The only reason I have so much faith in you is because you've proven yourself that this is real," Hotch says. "You can do things others think are impossible. What is your true and honest opinion about Brooke?"

"I believe she's alive. Her mother is her anchor, and I can feel her through Sandra. I feel her alive."

"Alright," Emily gets back on track, "the 911 call came from a disposable cell. There's no ID but they traced it to the nearest tower. That narrows it down to a twenty-mile radius just southeast of Seattle."

"That's a densely populated area. Were they able to triangulate?"

"Garcia tried to ping the phone, but it was already dead. The unsub probably turned it off when he found her with it."

"What do we think?" Hotch asks. "Why is the unsub keeping Brooke alive? How long do we think she has until he kills her?"

"Maybe he needs them alive to effect their transformation."

"I don't think so. The change in the hair, makeup, and pierced ears would only take a few hours. He's had her for almost five days."

"Maybe it's about something more than just appearance. Maybe it's something deeper. On the phone, she made it sound like she was being locked up, and she sounded drugged. These are control mechanisms used in cases of sexual slavery and mind control. It's brainwashing."

"So, he's trying to break her down and make her surrender her identity. That's what he's waiting for. That's the version of them he wants to hold onto. The longer she holds out, the longer she stays alive, and as soon as she accepts her new role, her fate is sealed."

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

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pleb-the-original · 8 months

Text

Day 30: Create Your Own Cryptid

(so, this one I knew right from the start who would star. I've had an idea for a long time now about this little cryptid named bloodlust who actually went onto forums discussing him and using their belief to game the system and grant him new abilities. this is the moment where he finally lets them in on his little secret) lookout> anyone gotten anything recently? I’ve heard he’s been in the west coast area tracker> you talking about the new sequoia footage? lookout> yep. tracker> nothing yet on my end User San has joined! lookout> oh hey. newbie. San> Hello. A friend told me you guys specialized in cryptids? lookout> just the one. we ain’t exactly bigfoot hunters here. tracker> remember that one guy who tried to send in that photoshop of bloodlust with bigfoot? lookout> oh yeah that guy. literally made an account just to show off his art and claimed it was real. San> What happened to him? lookout> ban. San> Yikes. Anyways, what did you guys call him? lookout> bloodlust. tracker> yeah it sounds stupid, but that’s what he wants to call himself San> And you guys are okay with that name? lookout> sure. better than being called the Holloway monster or something like that. San> I guess that makes sense. Anyways, I came here because I was told that you guys could help out with identifying this thing I saw? tracker> better not be another photoshop. San> Don’t worry, it's some footage from my doorbell cam. San> september21.mp4 lookout> well, that’s tracker> he cleared out a whole raccoon den? San> The weird thing however is that when I went out to check when I woke up, the bodies were gone. There were traces of blood everywhere but it was just scraps. lookout> man tracker> good footage. clear angles and everything San> Thank you. lookout> it’ll take a bit to be verified. but I think this is front page material. tracker> better than the sequoia footage. San> Really?

lookout> yeah. almost made us think it was an actual amateur sighting San> What does that mean? tracker> wait, you really think? lookout> yep. I mean come on, this footage is perfect, too perfect. its at a perfect angle with every body in frame and of course the main attraction himself placed dead set in the middle. San> What are you getting at here? lookout> i’ve been modding this place for a long time. do you know how often we seem to get new members popping in and out of the forums leaving behind tiny pieces of evidence? tracker> oh great, he’s going off about his theory again San> Theory? tracker> his stupid idea that every new person that joins the forum is actually bloodlust himself in disguise using stolen phones. conspiracy much? besides, he’s a cryptid. i get that they’re smarter than normal animals but not that smart. lookout> But it just doesn’t make sense! tracker> give it up already. you’re gonna scare the newbie away. lookout> his name is literally San. as in SANGUINE tracker> touch grass. that isn’t even a real word tracker> look kid, I don’t know what he’s on about but trust me. everyone else isn’t like that San> Well that’s a shame. tracker> what? why San> he’s been the only one out of all of you to actually figure me out tracker> no lookout> wait, is that actually San> He even got the name reference right. I thought after finding that word that using it would be too obvious. But this has been a fun game nevertheless. lookout> HOLY SHIT tracker> no, it’s gotta be a bit. it has too San> Are you sure? lookout> Ok ok, if that is really you, then find me. I’ll send you my address in dms rq. tracker> dude, this is how you get scammed. San> Alright. tracker> come on guys, this is insane tracker> guys tracker> well don’t say I didn’t warn you lookout> he’s outside. tracker> what lookout> he is waving from outside my backyard tracker> no, you live in the midwest, he couldn’t have lookout> I dunno man, heard he has connection with demons tracker> ok, then send some real proof lookout> 478669856875.png tracker> did tracker> did you just take a selfie with the cryptid we’ve been tracking lookout> I have a name you know. tracker> bloodlust? lookout> In the scales. Glad to finally be able to meet one of my fans in real life. I’ve been following this place for a long time. Now that someone has finally pulled the curtain out, how about I do you all a favor. Lookout here will set up a Q&A for me later. A grand prize. tracker> wow. lookout> And honestly tracker, I’ve gotta thank you personally. It was your deductive skills that granted me my wings. tracker> wait, how? lookout> Save it for later. It’s a good story. Now then, lookout here says he’s got a spare cat bed I could use. I bid you all adieu until tomorrow. User lookout has logged off

#writing #creative writing #prompt list #writeblr #cryptidinjuly #cryptidinjuly2023 #fantasy #cryptid #create your own cryptid #bloodlust #the character #not the word #before you ask #he heard it during a news report and thought it sounded like a good name #forum #unreality #the page break is so this hopefully actually posts #I think last time I was breaking the tumblr character limit #oops

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tokiro07 · 1 year

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Cipher Academy ch.21 thoughts

[Face Reveal]

What’s this? Cipher Academy BEFORE Undead Unluck this week? Well, friends, that’s because this week’s CA was just that good

Friendship and Effort conquering Isolation and Deception! Clever puzzle solutions! A fourth wall break! Best girl face reveal!!!

Iroha completely turned the tables on Anonymity by doing essentially the same things that she did, but in such a way that proves he’s more worthy of being the CLP; because he spent time with all of his classmates, he got to know them and their idiosyncrasies, and was able to identify their tells when he had their cards in his hand, something that Anonymity couldn’t really do because she refused to engage with the class. The photo on this chapter’s cover, taken during the Baumkuchen cookout that Anonymity neglected to attend, serves as a brilliant reminder of this fact

Then for Iroha to throw Anonymity’s use of the discard loophole back in her face, and to be able to confidently declare that it isn’t cheating because it was a precedent that Anonymity had set herself! What a guy! And he even leveraged it to force Anonymity to take off her Glasses Weapon!

It was at that moment that I realized that the fact that Personal Package guarantees that Anonymity always maintains a poker face must mean that she’s actually quite expressive. Even if she’s capable of holding an expression, it would be meaningless to have such an ability if she was always deadpan anyway. And sure enough, we’re immediately shown that she’s actually very bright and cheerful! That’s some gap moe right there!!!

Ah, imagining those sparkly eyes, blushing cheeks and radiant smile saying such nasty things as “I’m surprised I got so many votes, is there anyone in this class less popular than I am?”! Through Personal Package, it must have been completely deadpan, but what voice did she really say it with? A slight giggle? A mocking sneer? A musical lilt? She must be so annoying under that mask~

...Ugh, even I’m grossed out by how much I’m playing this up

But seriously, I find this new angle to her character really charming, and apparently so does Iroha! Not only is he blushing immediately upon seeing Anonymity’s face, but he’s also continuing the game with a huge smile on his face because now he’s able to really have fun! He’s not going up against an unfeeling robot, he’s going up against a peer. He’s acknowledged her skills and how she would make for a good leader, but he’s also pointed out her faults in such a way that she may well be able to learn from them. By taking off her mask and showing her face, she’s opened up to Iroha in the same way that the rest of the class has, so now he can be satisfied no matter the outcome

And I think that’s the mentality that Nisio wants us to treat this battle with too, because it immediately cuts away before the battle is decided to Kogoe musing that she’s not concerned either way. The only candidate who doesn’t align with her interests was Yosaimura, but with her being knocked out last chapter, Kogoe could really care less who ends up CLP. Whether Iroha or Anonymity becomes CLP next chapter, we’ll be entering the first major conflict of the story: Cyberbrain World War 1!

What the hell does that mean??? Is it going to be a literal world war, or is this going to be just a Cipher Academy thing and the name is an exaggeration?

And what’s her plan for all of those Glasses Weapons? They’re clearly the same model as Iroha’s (and being distributed through Kick Attack Planning based on the logo), but will they be replacing the Glasses Weapons of the core cast or will they become threats that are distributed to the rest of the school in the battle for the Morg?

I have no idea how quickly all of this is going to escalate, but my guess is that we’re going to be facing off against another class or multiple classes before anything else. We might even skip straight to fighting Class M to really hammer home the comparisons to Medaka Box’s Flask Plan, why not?

Some stray notes to wrap up

I hope we get to see Anonymity’s previous expressions revealed in key panels, I bet she made some fun ones

It just occurred to me that she’s like Nabeshima, cheating by using exploits in the rules rather than literally breaking them. Anyone would call them unfair, but technically that’s how the rules work, so it’s not really cheating

I said a couple weeks ago that Kogoe drew all of the cards and that they must have been drawn once it was known who the final four were; that should have been the moment I realized they were drawn by the classmates. Not only were all of them different art styles, but some had specific handwriting and there are 14 categories while there are 14 students excluding the players and dealer. It was staring me in the face all along!!!

I think it’s very funny that every single card is considered its own puzzle, jumping us up from Q.24 to Q.76 in one go. Average Cipher Academy chapter contains 3 puzzles, actually statistical anomaly; average chapter only contains 1, but Ciphers Georg....

That cover page should have been a color page!!! Jump, put some RESPECT on my girls’ and boy’s names!!!

I WANT MERCH OF THIS DECK!!!

#cipher academy #fouryearsandananime #this review ended up surprisingly short considering how excited i was about this chapter #4y1a reviews

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bigskydreaming · 1 year

Text

thehollowprince

I'm liking the first theory, but I think someone pointed him out as a background character in a former issue of X-Men Red. Haven't gone back to check yet

stone-monkey

I'm not reading it, but my money is on a Summer's family complication.

Ewing said he was a new creation so I’d be really surprised if they just reused an existing design but its not out of the realm of possibility. And lol when in doubt, assume its a Summers.

No, the way I see it, the evidence for:

Jon Ironfire as the unrevealed Vulcan/Deathbird child and Shi’ar prince:

1) Visually he fits, same hair color and general features as Gabe.

2) The missing heir has been heavily lampshaded the entire run. Vulcan brought up their child when facing off against Deathbird a couple issues ago, and with all the drama around the Shi’ar throne and Xandra, the question of where is Deathbird’s kid is a big one that needs addressing at some point. Especially since the thread where Lifeguard and Slipstream were alleged to be Deathbird’s hidden-away children seems to have been abandoned at least for now.

(That said, back during this conversation Ewing made a point to not have Deathbird respond to Vulcan using pronouns to refer to their child. Gabe’s only assumed the child is a boy, because well, Misogynist King. Literally. But Ewing definitely made a point to have Deathbird NOT confirm that their child is a boy, or at least doesn’t identify as such...however whether this was written this way as a hint that Gabe’s assumptions are off-base or simply because at that point Ewing hadn’t decided for sure yet on what he wanted the character of Deathbird and Vulcan’s child to be like....could go either way).

3) The name Ironfire seems to be a clear nod to Vulcan, who of course is named for the Roman god of fire and the forge.

4) Jon’s powerset includes transmuting his blood into any metal he can imagine, presumably including mysterium, and shaping it into weapons, armor, anything else....frequently manifesting it as sharp spikes he grows from his skin and hurls like projectiles. This not only mirrors Deathbird’s iconic javelin-quills she grows and uses as weapons, it also calls back to the blood-burning powerset of Adam Neramani, who according to this theory would be both Jon’s paternal uncle AND one of his rivals for the Shi’ar throne.

5) Given how much Gabe hates Ororo, having his son and heir have zero interest in the throne daddy dearest ‘acquired for him’ as well as being one hundred percent devoted to Storm would be HILARIOUS.

6) The fight between Jon and Mystique implied that Jon theoretically COULD be an omega, like Vulcan, but it could also be just typical fight talk and hyping himself up in front of his opponent. Ewing does like making weird abilities that don’t seem on the surface like they should be omega, however.

Vs....

Jon Ironfire as an unrevealed brother or son of Lodus Logos:

1) His powerset much more directly mirrors Lodus’ than it does Gabe’s.

2) Ewing and other writers have explicitly referred to Jon as being Arakkii in interviews. (That said, we’ve seen with characters like Craig, Beto and Ororo herself that the Arakkii take a very clear view of things: if you consider yourself of Arakko and fight for Arakko, then you are Arakkii, no matter where else you originated. And given Gabe blatantly didn’t care about Arakko other than as another potential conquest of his, this could be a lead-in to having his son reject all that and identify as being OF Arakko, much like Storm herself has rejected all desire to rule and simply wants to be of the land as much as anyone else. ‘No thrones on Arakko,’ round two. This time with the sentiment embraced by the son and heir of her chief rival on Arakko, after Isca herself).

3) Lodus is hands down Ororo’s biggest supporter and friend on the Great Ring, and has been since his very first appearance in SWORD, long before she even started making connections with Lactuca. In turn, she also gave up the Seat of All-Around-Us and the second vote that comes with it, calling him a better fit for it while she took the Seat of Loss in honor of Magneto’s death. They’re very close and while it would be FUNNY for Jon to be Vulcan’s son, with how devoted he is to Storm, thematically and character-wise I think his attitude around her makes a lot more sense if he’s Lodus’ son, and in the wake of his father and most of the rest of his peers on the Great Ring dying in the early days of the Red Diamond Empire....he’s naturally gravitated to one of his father’s closest friends and allies: Ororo.

4) We’ve seen that Jon will live to Year 1000, aging extremely slowly....which is more a staple of Arakkii mutants than Earthborn ones. Most of them possess some degree of longevity, whereas Earth mutants require that longevity be a specific part of their powerset to mirror that. (That said, if any Earth mutant were to live a thousand years without resurrection, it would make sense for it to be Gabe’s son, as many omegas DO have ways to extend their lifespan and Gabe in particular has brought himself back from death or the brink of it before).

My conclusions:

I think I WANT Jon to be related to Lodus Logos, but I’m more inclined to think he’s probably the Vulcan/Deathbird heir. I do think there’s a strong case to be made for either, and thus neither route would surprise me, but the missing heir plotline is too central to a lot of the book’s plots for it not to be coming up soon, and this sorta consolidates plots. Ewing does like to be efficient in his seeding of storylines. And like I said, the heir is of course an as yet unrevealed Summers too, and when in doubt....its safe to assume whatever’s going on has something to do with a Summers, lol.

(Plus, even if Ewing seems disinclined to follow up on it, that dangling plot-thread about Heather and Davis being Deathbird’s kids she stashed away to hide from D’Ken is still out there and someone else could pick it up eventually.....and that would make Jon their younger half-brother and idk why but Slipstream being Ironfire’s older brother is also hilarious to me. Especially when you factor in HIS epic crush on Ororo, back in the day.)

#x-tag

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ina-nis · 2 years

Text

“Making friends in your adulthood” advice works wonderfully doesn’t it?!

That’s usually the last step of treatment for AvPD, when you have done all the work in getting yourself to that point!

Adults generally lead busy lives with tight schedules and they spend what little free time they have doing very few specific activities and they almost never involve “making new friends” and yet...

Making new friends as an adult can be relatively easy and painless. There might be some issues with maintaining these friendships.

Maintenance is probably one of the worst issues actually.

(And that kind of advice doesn’t really take into consideration intersectionality all that much. The difficult ramps up as you add circumstances to it: it can be hard to make and maintain friends as a queer adult, it can be very hard to make and maintain friends as a queer disabled adult, etc...)

Time is precious and people will want to spend time on precious things (or people).

If they’re looking for new things or people, it means their life is lacking them. In the same way you’re looking for them.

But many can see desperation, and that’s not attractive - it’s considered a red flag instead.

You want attention, commitment and love, among other things, and it’s probably way too much people seem to be able to handle. But they’ll accept that gladly towards them, of course they will, it feels good to be pampered and showered with care. But it’s too much work if that’s being demanded from them, isn’t it?

And people will prefer familiar, stable relationships, even if they’re dysfunctional, over anything or anyone new.

So... you have to “compete” against all that, and still need to be able to keep some degree of management.

It’s likely you’ll get to that last step and get stuck, feeling like you’re banging your head against a wall.

You go out there already, you try to make connections already, you exchange contact information already, you talk to people and listen already, you try to stay in touch already.

It’s not a behavioural issue, you’re doing the work to fix it. It’s not just because of your appearance or mannerisms, that’s why you mask. You already look friendly enough.

The maintenance doesn’t happen. There’s no continuity. There’s many starts and restarts, but things stay superficial and uncomfortable, and you end up walking away (or others do).

“Making friends in your adulthood” doesn’t translate into “make time to keep friends” or “identify each other’s needs” or “show that you care”.

And you noticed that, while you tried and made an effort to signal these things, to the best of your ability (of if you can’t, you always made sure your communication was as transparent and clear as possible), it’s almost never reciprocated.

“You’re asking too much from people.”

“You’re too critical (or strict).”

“Your standards are too high (or unattainable).”

“You have to stay in touch too/ you have to initiate sometimes.”

And yet, it feels like the bare minimum, to ask for attention and to receive it. Because you don’t want to be treated half-assedly? Because you want to receive too, instead of only giving? Because you won’t spend or waste time on something that’s not working for you, holding onto a hope that it might improve (when you can see that it’s already starting poorly)? Because you’re always chasing, initiating, engaging, and you wish others would put the effort to do that too?

#avpd #avoidance #avoidant #avoidant personality disorder

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the-darkness-does-not-bargain · 7 months

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🌤️❄

🌤 This bit from Dragon Age AU, under the cut!

She takes a slow, deep breath, her chest rising and falling like a wave on the ocean. “I’ve always struggled to accept my lot as a mage, to remember that the Maker made me this way for a reason. Magic was his gift to me, so I could serve Him in the way he intended, but there are times when I just can’t see His path for me as anything but a curse. It shames me to say it, but it’s true.”

“Well…” You measure your words with great care, contemplating the best way to get your point across without upsetting her or sounding dismissive. “You know my thoughts on the Maker,” you say. “But if there’s anything I agree with the Big Guy on, it’s that magic is a gift, one that we’re meant to use to make things better, to make the world better.” You press your hand against your chest, and Hope responds in kind, wrapping Herself around you until the glow of your skin starts reflecting off the table. “If I know anything, Beatrice, I know that. So, please, don’t hate what you are. What you are is beautiful.”

A tear escapes from the corner of her eye, tracing a path down her cheek, but she smiles again. It quivers on her lips, unsteady, but enduring. “Thank you. For saying so.” she whispers.

“I’ll say it again. However many times you need me to. You’re amazing, Bea. Anyone who doesn’t see that is a fuckwit.”

She laughs as though you’ve knocked the wind out of her, her shoulders shaking hard enough to make her chair rattle in place. There are more tears, but they seem to spring now from happiness rather than pain. You join in with her, unable to help it, because making her laugh like this, open and unrestrained, makes you feel like a god.

And then, when she settles again, she does something that absolutely knocks you off your feet. She squeezes your hand in hers and stares deeply into your eyes. “You are extraordinary, Ava. I see that clearly. I’ve seen it every day since I’ve met you. I know you hate the title you’ve been given, and I know you don’t believe in the Maker. But I do, and, if you’ll allow me to say so, I don’t think there’s anyone else here more deserving of His blessing, or of being His champion.”

Your entire body feels suddenly suffused with heat. Your eyes sting, your cheeks light up like a bed of coals, and your chest feels impossibly warm. You look away, unable to bear the sincerity of her gaze lest it smash through your ribs and steal your heart from the cavity. “You need to stop being good at that,” you tell her solemnly.

“Being good at what?”

“Saying nice shit to me.”

She snorts. “If I have to stop being good at it, then you need to do the same.”

“Great, it’s agreed. We’ll only give each other stupid compliments from now on.”

That sets her off again, and keeps her laughing through another pot of tea and all the way through the evening until Flissa kicks you both out so she can close for the night.

//////

❄ And then this, from SCP au

//////

The table’s other occupant was a woman who appeared to be in her late 20s, with messy blonde hair chopped short to just below her ears. She was the same size as Ava, but more muscular, having a build akin to a trained athlete. While Ava was all restless movement, this woman was relaxed, leaning back in her chair and fiddling with her fork. One of the cameras showcased her face, where a long scar could be seen over her right eye. A prominent identifying feature, if one was needed.

SCP-105, “Iris”, had a long and storied history, even for an SCP, and Beatrice knew only a little of it: her civilian name, the basics of her ability, and her inclusion on the doomed operation known as Omega-7. Nearly ten years ago, some bright mind within the Foundation proposed the idea of weaponizing various humanoid anomalies, forming Mobile Task Force Omega-7, “Pandora’s Box”. The details of the endeavor were highly classified, but the outcome was not. It was a bloody, violent, horrifying failure, one that 105 had notably survived. Beatrice watched the woman in question whistle softly at Columbo before feeding him a piece of sausage.

[SCP-XXXX: Hey, don’t steal my dog, Iris!

SCP-105 smirks at SCP-XXXX while petting SCP-XXXX-1E, which licks her hand.

SCP-105: Step up your game then, pipsqueak. Or I might sneak him out of your room.

SCP-XXXX: First of all, we're the same height. Second of all, you can’t. He loves me too much. Columbo, here!

SCP-XXXX-1E wags its tail and waddles back to SCP-XXXX.]

Beatrice watched the exchange, feeling a smile creep onto her lips. She quickly glanced at the guard, but found their attention firmly back on the screens as Ava and 105 continued to banter back and forth. Eventually, Ava picked up a piece of egg from her plate and threw it, much to the other woman’s amusement, a smirk pulling on the edges of her scar tissue. The sight of it unsettled Beatrice, before a distressing question came unbidden to the forefront of her thoughts.

If Omega-7 hadn’t failed, would Ava be on it? Maybe or maybe not. Her powers would be highly valuable on the battlefield, but her disability would make her vulnerable. Unless they chose to continue the J-class experiments, which was a horrifying prospect. They would also have to convince (or coerce) her to test her powers on humans, and Beatrice didn’t want to consider how the Foundation might do that.

She also remembered what Lilith told her when she admitted to stopping the J experiments. We think we understand the extent of her powers, but we don’t. We know nothing. If she was right, if Ava possessed other, more dangerous abilities that no one knew about, then perhaps it was best that Omega-7 went defunct long before she arrived. Some doors were better left shut.

#ask meme #dragon age au #scp au

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ghostsandmirrors · 2 years

Text

do you think bucky stuggles with identity and a sense of self post-hydra?

because i know i do (think that. this was a reference to a youtuber because all i can hear in my head is him autotuned going ‘do you hear that? i know i do!’ while giga pudding starts playing).

here’s the thing. i wasn’t sure ‘sense of self’ was accurate, but then i saw someone saying that you don’t have a sense of self if you’re uncertain in your identity and have a ‘weak identity’ (their words) which is things like ‘codependent tendancies’, ‘inability to create strong boundaries’, ‘low self esteem’, also a lot of depression symptoms.

there was also ‘scattered priorities’ which... adhd. if you have adhd you have a weak identity. i don’t make the rules because my priorities are too scattered so i can’t. /jk

my point is that based on this one site (link) and the author’s version of sense of self... this man doesn’t have one. or at least, not a lot of one. he barely has an identity by the time of the Snap, i’m pretty sure.

there’s also the fact that a sense of self means being able to identify you and i don’t honestly think bucky has ever been able to do that between the expectations and his own lying (out of fear) which clouded his view of himself from ‘an overall decent guy who’s really fuckin gay’ into ‘a coward and a liar who cannot be good enough’, so adding on a group that is determined to squash any part of him that isn’t helpful to them, that they can’t use, over the course of 70 years would take away that ability to know himself and be able to detangle himself from them and see which parts are him and which parts aren’t.

and that’s why i don’t buy most canon post-civil war. that’s right. welcome to my motherfucking TED Talk.

there’s no way this man isn’t having an existential crisis every night, when there’s no more distractions and he lies there thinking ‘who the fuck am i’. there’s no way he peacefully exists fuckin anywhere. he still hasn’t figured himself out. he was vaguely trying to do that before the swat team arrived, though the image he gets of himself will always be clouded by expectations of others just from the fact that history remembers him a certain way, and then suddenly he’s in fuckin wakanda.

his happiness and life is so intertwined with steve’s happiness and life that he truly cannot see himself as himself. that’s probably also why i don’t buy post-Snap bucky being like, a functioning member of society canonically? half of his whole identity left and you’re expecting me to believe he made friends with people? and he’s aware of fuckin anything that’s going on? and he’s actually getting to therapy? fuck off, marvel. that’s bullshit and you fuckin know it.

how the fuck is he friends with anyone? he don’t know shit.

this has turned into me roasting canon bucky but listen, i’m right and that’s all that matters.

#ooc #more info : bucky #rambling #me joking about scattered priorities while writing some truly scattered bullshit bcus i need to go to bed #just so i'm not sat on the sofa when dad gets up lmaoo #i will rewrite this someday

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writer-akihiko · 3 years

Note

TW First year students x fem! MC who's secretly a demon princess, who will they react to her powers when they found her in her demon form?

First Years + DemonPrincess!MC

I had fun with this prompt in general, and I hope I made some fun scenarios that you like!

Warnings: Bullying from other students and hurtful words, Epel is censored because Vil doesn't allow it

Sebek Zigvolt

He forgot to give you back your notebook from class, so he had to go in the evening

If Sebek remembered correctly, in his 'I'm A Good Boyfriend' notebook, you said you usually rested in the evening

"YN, I'm here to deliver your notebook!-"

"Go away Sebek!"

He was appalled. You've never scolded him in such a way before!

He quickly fished out his notebook, and he flipped to a page where Lilia had lectured him on what to do when you were feeling down

"Here it is…" He muttered

He barged in your door, breaking down the rickety door, "YN! I am here to comfort you!"

"S-Sebek?!"

He almost dropped the notebook. He was surprised at you appearance, as he saw horns on your head, as well as tattoos on your skin that he's never seen before

"YN… You're…"

You sighed. "Yes Sebek, I'm a dem-"

"You're a Fae! Like me!"

Before he got too excited, you settled him down and explained your appearance

He felt ashamed of himself for his initial behaviour when you explained that you were a princess. He doesn't really mind that you're a demon, in fact, he understands you more as people of his world usually misunderstands Fae-kind

In general, he's quite amazed anytime you demonstrate your powers

He lowkey wants to see you and Waka-sama have a showdown with magic, but his heart knows it'd hurt to see you in danger

Ace Trappola

He got held back by Professor Crewel due to some argument he got in with Grim

He asked around if anyone else saw you, but much to his shock, he found you surrounded by some other students. Again

He wanted to pummel their faces in, but now looking at you, you seemed calm…

In the blink of an eye, a net of dark magic appeared underneath the students, trapping them at their ankles

Ace had his mouth open as horns and wings similar to the colour of your hair started growing from you. What freaked him out more was that the wings weren't made of feathers… They looked ripped apart and made of the same magic he couldn't identify

"A-Ace!"

Upon seeing your boyfriend, you flung the students away into the Garden with your magic. Someone would find them later…

"U-Um… This…" You got embarrassed, feeling shy in your demon form

"THAT WAS SO COOL!"

Ace then pestered you to tell him where you learnt such magic, although he might've accidentally grabbed your horns the wrong way

He listened carefully, since it caused you such discomfort when he touched your horns

He didn't think you'd be a princess…

"Wait… Does this mean you have a demon father?"

You nodded your head. "But my brother's the Demon King at the moment… Why?"

"I need to mentally prepare myself if your demon family want to kill me since I want to propose to you after graduation…"

Deuce Spade

You and Deuce were nervous, since it was a magical mana exam. It would dictate certain classes you'd be able to take next semester…

You were the last to go, and your boyfriend cheerfully waved at you as he gave a thumbs up. He must've passed the test…

You had to remind yourself to control your mana, otherwise you'd have some explaining to do

As you let the teacher examine you, you couldn't help but notice that there was some kind of barrier around the orb you were practicing with

As you removed the barrier, you realised that it was a trap by the teacher!...

You couldn't help but pour your normal amount of magic into the orb, which, put on a show around the students as they marvelled at the dark magic

"Well," Principal Crowley announced, after you were done with your examination. "You'd best be coming with me."

After a long talk with Crowley, you were surprised that Deuce and Grim were at the door, eavesdropping at your conversation

"I overheard… I was worried about you…" He admitted

Deuce however, was quite curious about your appearance, so after his and your dinner, you allowed him to see you shift into your demon form

He did ask if it hurt, to which you shook your head

He admired your wings and your bigger, claw-like hands as you felt heat in your cheeks by the way he was intensely staring at you

"Y-You're adorable…"

Even though you towered Deuce's height in your demon form, it didn't stop him from giving you your usual goodnight kiss on the forehead

Jack Howl

He always wanted to show off his skills to you, so he invited you to a practice match against the Diasomnia dorm

He was against the first years of the dorm, so you silently cheered for Jack

As you were continuously impressed by Jack's speed, you couldn't help but notice a strand of magic tagged on him…

Your magical vision traced it to one of the students on the opposite team, who was passively reciting a spell to jinx Jack's next move

There was only the seniors… So it should be fine to stop that student this once…

You were too slow, as the spell had already whizzed through the field. You could still stop it from hitting Jack!...

You felt everyone's gaze on you as you interrupted the spell. Knowing that your appearance had changed, you shied away

Some students ran away, but Jack didn't. He picked you up, horns, feathers and demonic body parts, all of it and embraced you

"Hey! Stop looking at my girlfriend like she's a monster!" He growled

The seniors quickly punished the student causing tricks on the field, but some were still weary of you

Jack put you down, kissing your forehead. "Thank you precious for saving me there."

Eventually, you had to explain to the teachers what you were

Some dorm leaders grew afraid of you, but Jack didn't care. You were still his precious girlfriend

So what if you both were seen as monsters? He thought. The big bad wolf and the terrifying demon princess could live in peace and quiet, in their own space in the forest…

Jack thinks the whole thing is cool, but he is a little jealous that your magical abilities are so much better than his. You tell him he makes up for it in his physical strength

Epel Felmier

You and Epel were taking a stroll, on the way to the field for the MagiShift club

You promised to cheer him on, and you decided it would be a cheeky way to take some photos with your Ghost Camera

You comfortably sat next to Jack as you got ready to take some photos

Unfortunately, you weren't sure of the exact details, but a student decided it was a perfect opportunity to set off a prank near you and Jack

You weren't exactly in control of your own powers, so the impact caused you to scream and lose control of your appearance

The other students screamed in turned, seeing a 'monster' transform in front of them

Epel saw the prank beforehand, but he couldn't run fast enough to get to you

He couldn't think straight, he just had to make sure you were alright. So when he overheard the students yelling at you, he threatened them

Everyone was freaking out at your changing body, since your skin had different markings, almost like carvings etched into it and a pool of dark magic flooded below you

"I-I'm sorry I-" You tried to apologise, but others constantly berated you

"She's a freak! Someone seal her away!"

Epel couldn't stop himself from whacking the student who said that on the head

The other seniors managed to calm the students down, sending them away

You briefly explained everything to Epel, repeating your apologies to him

"Don't aplogise YN. Those idiots don't understand."

Epel, in all honesty, didn't care if you were a demon princess or a human or a fairy

Whoever got in the way of your relationship on the other hand, he'd pick a fight with them even though you were the one who could easily clean the fight up

"Hey YN, don't listen to em. They don't know how cool you are. As long as I'm the one you love, I'm okay with anything."

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst first years #sebek x reader #epel x reader #deuce x reader #jack howl x reader #ace trappola #ace trappola x reader #sebek zigvolt #epel felmier #deuce spade #jack howl #twst jack howl #twst epel felmier #twst sebek zigvolt #twst deuce spade #twst ace trappola

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moodymoonbitch · 3 years

Text

Astro-observations 2.0

By:✨Moodymoon✨

⚜️ Mercury conjunct Venus aspect will bless the chart owner with a beautiful speaking voice, however, it does not necessarily grant singing ability. that depends on house placement and the sign.

⚜️ Mercury conjunct venus may also have a seductive voice and be able to attract and charm others simply by talking. This Includes Taurus mercury women.

⚜️ Mercury sextile Venus may mean the chart owner has a pleasant voice but they have to make a conscious effort to “achieve it”. (singing lessons)

but it can also mean, you'll sound erotic in bed.

So you may have not so noticeable speaking voice which blooms in the bedroom. Mercury sextile venus = Pleasant lovemaking sounds.

Astro tips: if you wanna get close with an 8th house mercury, they might be the type of people who'll be impressed if you can *break their psyche down. They might like it if you can figure out things about them that no one else knows without them having to tell you... If they wanna discuss their own deep stuff with you there's a good chance for more.

• An 8th house Mercury will wanna talk about "your stuff" rather than "their stuff" since the 8th house governs other people's possessions. If you wanna get to know them turn the tables.

•If you wanna impress a Leo, be yourself all the way, Leo’s descendant sign is Aquarius and they greatly admire people who are unique.

•If you want to befriend somebody fast find out their Ceres sign, which will show you which way they want to be taken care of.

• For an example I’m a Pisces but my Ceres sign is in Capricorn, if I’m in distress I prefer to sit down and make a practical plan on how to fix my problem. My bestfriend helped me during a rough time in my life by doing exactly that and she’s the only one I really dare open up to. Ceres is as much of a key to emotions as the moon. Beware of squares and hard aspects that may change the outcome.

• Libras tend to like when you make decisions for them and you are unapologetically confident. Even if your idea sucks, if you stand by it there’s a good chance they’ll stand by you.

•⚜️ If your venus sign is very different from your mars sign Ex. Pisces Venus and Aries mars, and if they make no aspect to each other that can mean your romantic type is very different from your sexual type.

—> You may date a person and feel like they are your ideal romantic partner but they don’t turn you on physically at all. (I’m gonna make an entire post in detail dedicated to this soon.) !!

•⚜️ If you have many personal planets in one house you may be attracted to the sign ruling that house. For example, my friend is a Taurus who has her Sun, moon, mercury and venus in the 5th house. Her boyfriend is a Leo. You may also be attracted to the cusp ruler!

🌪Karmic friendship synastry.🌪

Having Mars conjunct south-node is the Jesus/ Judas and Cesar/ Brutus aspect where somebody you trust isn’t who you think they are. If you believe in reincarnation, this aspect means you knew each other in a past life, where you were competitors. The mars (Judas) person betrayed SN now your souls have found each other in this life to settle the karmic debt or get revenge.

The cycle breaks when both Mars and the south node person make peace with how the relationship either is or has ended, take accountability and forgive each other. OBS! they do not need to reconcile to forgive.

• We might see the people who fill our empty houses as “special” and extra memorable

• chart ruler may help you pinpoint your pet peeves in dating

Ex. my chart ruler is the sun and my ASC is Leo, my biggest turn off is when a date isn't very confident or action-oriented.

• Ex, If your chart ruler is Pluto and you have a Scorpio Ascendant you may hate when people seem “fake” and superficial or when you make all the effort. etc.

•Personal planets in the 7th may make it difficult for you to form your own opinion without input. Moon in 7th watches a movie and doesn’t like it, they call their friend who tells them “it’s the greatest movie of all time!” So they watch it again and end up liking the movie because of what their friend said.

- if it’s a fixed moon in 7th however they may need their friend's input to make a final decision which may be to not change their mind.

- cardinal can go either way, they may watch it again to see if they missed anything important that could make them like it more. If not they’ll watch it anyways but complain how they don’t “get it”.

• Personal planets in 7th will struggle to like something if other people dislike it because that eventually makes them start to question why they themselves like it.

• As a 7th house person I avoid reading movie reviews before I watch a movie otherwise I don’t know what opinion is my own

•You need squares and oppositions in synastry, there are lessons in the hard placements. too many trines and sextiles can make you take the relationship for granted and it might feel stagnant. (But there is such a thing as too much of a hard aspect)

hard aspects synastry positives: Sexual tension, strong feelings, fast action taking, easy to identify differences, intense sex, life lessons.

✨Pop-culture astrology✨:

• Celebrities with Neptune aspecting the ASC or Midheaven can get away with an obscene amount of questionable things (Ellen DeGeneres, Justin Bieber, Michael Jordan) I also find this to be true for people with Pisces placements.

•If a personal planet falls into a celebrity’s 4th house you may stan them for several years. You might like everything they do even when they mess up.

•your dominant planet’s placement and the ruler of that house may also tell you which sign you find attractive.

•Ex. Jupiter dominant, where is Jupiter? Jupiter in 10th = Capricorn

Extended:Jupiter dominant, Jupiter in Gemini, find ruler = Mercury, where is Mercury in 2nd = Taurus

• A whooping amount of celebrities with infamously turbulent love lives have Venus trine/sextile Neptune. Ariana Grande, Cardi B, Justin Bieber, Jeffree star, Demi Lovato, Iggy Azalea, Kylie Jenner. To name a few!’

• Star athlete Michael Jordan is no exception to the Venus-Neptune love blur. He not only considered the greatest of all time and also has one of the largest divorce settlements in sports history probably because of a last minute Vegas wedding where a prenup was not written.

✨Be careful with that Venus/Neptune y’all✨

• Venus/Neptune tend to idealize relationships and therefore jump in too fast. They will also idealize their partners and only see the best, thereby ignoring a lot of shady behavior. They may also stick it out longer than they should in hopes that things will change.

(One: These are all for fun not criticizing anyone’s personal life or choices)

✨That’s all I’ve got folks. ✨

Some astrologers believe we can predict everything but my god, what a boring life if we could.

xoxo//Moodymoon

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a-smolpuppy · 3 years

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|| when he wants.

⟼ what happens when you aren't paying attention to your favorite?

x - - - - - - - - - ღ

BOBA FETT

when the bounty hunter wants you, he's much more flirtatious. it's a tad amusing sometimes because he's so serious under the suit he wears. to the outside world it isn't incredibly obvious, but you're on the inside aren't you?

he's much softer as well, especially if you like it, anything to grab your attention from whatever you're doing.

you're attending a dinner business meeting together. you normally don't accompany Boba on safety reasons, but unbeknownst to you, he'd been trying to grab your attention to no avail.

it wasn't on purpose, you were so busy. so when he pulls your seat out for you, you glance over momentarily stunned before sending him a charming smile. "thank you," you say, so sweet. again, you're unaware, but Boba is incredibly pleased. finally, it's what he's been wanting.

DIN DJARIN

a much shyer individual, the Mandalorian. he likely understands what he wants and its easier to get you to understand by saying it outright, but he can't get himself to do it. he craves your touch and attention, so he's walking much closer and attempts to spend more alone time with you. he tries to impress you sometimes when he realizes you're watching.

he's shooting impressively at targets some ways away. they fly quickly, but he's quicker, and then it's over. he turns to you, and when you gaze at him with awe, he's so relieved the helmet hides him. there's no helping the pride surging in his chest or the smirk on his face as a result. it's really nice when he has your attention and managing to pull such a stunt while he does. he's never going to get tired of it.

OBI-WAN KENOBI

I do believe he gets more forward, especially if you're into it. he's a little more bold in leaving lingering touches and whispering his naughty thoughts in your ear (it's sometimes better than transmitting them to you because he nibbles on your lobe when he does).

playing with him goes one or the other, and being so perceptive, he can do as you crave. he's either yes please, give me what I want or he increases the tension.

"ignoring me dear? getting a bit bold aren't we?" his voice low as he passes you in the hall, whispering breathily into your ear. "no need to worry- you'll come to your senses once I teach you your lesson very soon."

ANAKIN SKYWALKER

it's a bit amusing once more because, as much as I see him having two reactions to being needy, it's a 60/40 split. a little more than half the time, he's much more curt, forward, and flirtatious with you.

there are times though where he's like... a lost puppy. trails after you, pouts when you don't pay attention to him, says anything passive-aggressive to anyone holding onto you too long...

he's pouting again. as someone who insists on being treated like an adult, he's quite cute when he glances from the person who has your attention and back to you, crossing his arms with eyes fliting about impatiently. when you smile at him, he relaxes (until you turn away again and you hear a huff behind you).

LUKE SKYWALKER

each of them are interesting- I think the less little Skywalker tries, the smoother he is. it's when he overthinks is where it doesn't go so well, but when he reminds himself what you like and crave, he's good.

he can be very eye-catching when he isn't trying to be, which is entertaining because it catches himself so off-guard when you respond. he doesn't realize it's because of something he does without really trying, then he gets a little cocky [] because woah, but then he's also like but I feel the same about you []

he's likely handsomely leaning against a doorway or wall, scheming to get your attention when you walk over. he looks down at you with a sweet smile and you lean upwards to kiss him. he meets you halfway, shamelessly pleased by the attention, and it quickly gets heated before you're both forced apart to breathe. he stares at you wide-eyed and then adoringly with another smile. you really do take his breath away (figuratively and literally).

KYLO REN

the knight is a very soft person who can't convey himself well. so in other words, he sort of lingers around you, trying to say how much he wants you without being too commanding (yet). he does want to tell you, but he doesn't know how, and therefore it comes out a bit rougher than he'd probably intended (I'm not sure you really mind though). he's learning.

you catch his eye whilst walking through the base and there's something there. "come here," he says. it's rough, but spoken softly, and needily. you make your way towards him and his gaze follows. you wrap your arms around him as soon as you're able, thinking it's what he needs, and you couldn't be more correct. he immediately returns your touch and it's like he's melting in your arms. he needed this, he needed you.

bonus! MAUL

Darth lords are likely not used to the ability to express emotions. he's so used to suppressing them, he can't quite identify the most recent sentiment. it's definitely a desire, one to be near you, so it's soon to the point where you're rarely seen without him as you fulfill your duties in the daytime. one day, "what's wrong love?" and he's like... "I'm not sure."

you're certainly not expecting such a response. "you're not sure? are you alright?" you say gently, and when he hears the concern on your voice, it encourages him to be outright with it. "I... find discontentment when your attention is drawn elsewhere." pay attention to me, is what he realizes he wanted, but he doesn't have to explain further when you giggle and apologize on being so busy today. you're all his, you reassure, and he hopes you can tell, he's all yours as well.

#star wars preferences #star wars x reader #boba fett x reader #din djarin x reader #obi-wan kenobi x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #luke skywalker x reader #kylo ren x reader #maul x reader

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eclipsednodes · 4 years

Text

SHADOW WORK SIMPLIFIED

What is shadow work?

If I had to describe shadow work in one word, it would be introspection. Introspection is the examination of your own mental state and is necessary in order to learn more about your fundamental nature. Although it may sound off-putting and even scary at first, shadow work is a necessary component in the process of healing. We all have aspects of ourselves that we’ve rejected and hidden away out of fear. Through shadow work, we’re able to reflect on our thoughts, emotions, and habits so that we can find the root cause of our suffering and heal ourselves. By reincorporating those aspects of ourselves that we’ve denied, we feel more fulfilled and can begin to love ourselves fully.

Where does shadow work come from?

The concept of the shadow self comes from Carl Jung who believed that our shadow self is the subconscious aspect, or “dark side”, of our personality that our conscious ego doesn’t identify with. However, I would like to clarify that “dark” does not imply or equate with bad. That which resides outside of our consciousness can be either good or bad, but aren’t inherently reflective of our value or “goodness” as a person.

Although these repressed aspects of ourselves can manifest negatively, it isn’t because those parts of us are “bad”, but that the process of repression is inherently painful and toxic. This is reflected by Jung when he states, "Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” He believed that until we’ve merged our conscious and subconscious selves, that our conscious would be “the slave of the autonomous shadow”. This is due to the shadow self overwhelming our conscious selves by falling victim to our own self-imposed traps.

Through assimilating this shadow self, not over-identifying with it, Jung believed we go through the process of enantiodromia, thereby integrating the subconscious by reincorporating our shadow selves into our personality and allowing us to solidify ourselves through wholeness. He best described this by stating "assimilation of the shadow gives a man body, so to speak.” However, don’t fall into the misconception that shadow work is a short-term practice. Shadow work is a continuous practice and integration of the shadow self is a will take place throughout your life.

How do I do shadow work?

In the last question, I identified that practicing self-reflection is a key component of shadow work, but what does that mean? What am I supposed to be reflecting on? Well, the first thing that you should focus on is being present throughout the day. Identify feelings that come up throughout the day and observe them objectively. What situation or interaction triggered these emotions? How did I react to those emotions? Were my emotions controlling me or was I in control of my emotions? Why did this situation or interaction cause me to feel this way? How did I cope with those feelings (self-harming, lashing out at others, communicating my feelings, journalling, etc.)? Did I punish myself for getting upset? If so, why?

There are numerous ways to reflect on your feelings and experiences in order to get a better understanding of yourself. Through evaluating how you react to situations, which situations upset you, and how you managed those feelings, you’re able to build the foundation to understanding your emotions and bridge the gap between your subconscious and conscious mind.

Once you’ve done this, you’ll find that the emotions you feel in the present are reflective of unhealed emotions from your past. Perhaps the reason you feel that you’re unable to set boundaries as an adult is because as a child, your parents never respected your boundaries by going through your phone or diary, yelling at you when you said no to a request, forcing you into situations that made you feel you had no choice.

By identifying the root cause of your emotional pain, you’re able to address it in the present and heal from the trauma. The simplest way that I’ve found to address them is through journalling. You can purchase a physical journal or even use your notes app, either way, you’re writing out your feelings and reflections to gain deeper insight. It’s important to remember that this looks different for anyone and that the best way to approach shadow work is by doing what feels most natural! You can choose to stick to self-reflective journal prompts, vent about whatever is upsetting you, write letters to whoever has hurt you, etc. Ultimately, you can guide yourself based off of what you feel you need and where you are in your journey.

What parts of yourself do you find yourself rejecting the most? Many of us have experienced the pain of rejection in some aspects of our lives and sometimes, it’s incredibly painful and leaves us with long-lasting wounds. We end up going through our lives carrying baggage that we don’t even know we have! Many times, I’ve found myself wondering why I felt so repulsed by aspects of myself and why I felt so strongly that they needed to be locked away forever. I couldn’t allow myself or others to see my truest self, my whole self, out of fear. I was scared of being rejected, shamed, humiliated by the people around me. I was scared of hurting other people by being myself and of being hurt by others. That’s no way to live, is it? When we tell ourselves that aspects of ourselves aren’t good enough, we end up going through life devaluing ourself. We’ve broken our own trust by rejecting ourselves, we’ve told ourselves that we aren’t good enough or worthy of love. In shadow work, you’re called to go inward and unpack everything that we’ve kept hidden for years and sometimes even decades.

Bring the parts of yourself that you’ve repressed to the surface and nourish them with love, allow yourself to see that ALL OF YOU is deserving of love and support. For you, that could mean unlearning your unhealthy beliefs about food or eating, allowing yourself to be emotional around the people you love (despite how much you were told that you were too emotional, a crybaby, too sensitive in the past), allowing yourself to relax without feeling guilty about not being productive because you recognize your needs (even though you feel your sense of worth is tied to being productive at the cost of your own health).

Common misconceptions about shadow work?

Shadow work is evil or bad, the shadow is evil or bad

The purpose of shadow work is healing through working with your subconscious to release repressed aspects of yourself and heal from painful, traumatic experiences. Your shadow side is simply your unconscious and to believe that it’s bad is to believe that you are bad. It’s merely the part of yourself that you aren’t aware of consciously and shouldn’t be feared.

Certain emotions are “bad”

When you let go of the idea that emotions are either good or bad, you’ll allow yourself to just be and stop putting so much pressure on yourself to feel “good” all of the time. Happiness isn’t a constant state of being so stop expecting to be all of the time, we have a range of emotions for a reason so stop being ashamed of them. Your feelings are natural and if you feel like they’re out of control and something to be ashamed of, there is nothing wrong with that! It’s okay to feel like your emotions are controlling you because that isn’t permanent. Your feelings aren’t permanent and are completely manageable with proper guidance! The reason you feel like your emotions are controlling you is because you probably don’t have the knowledge to cope with them in an effective and healthy way. It’s helpful to sit with your emotions alone and look at them objectively without placing any judgement on them, this will help you calm down and assess your feelings. From there, you can identify what you need to relax and recover as well as acknowledge to yourself that your feelings are natural. When you stop categorizing your emotions as bad, they’re no longer shameful to experience and therefore you can see with better clarity how to cope with them and move on.

I’ve already released it so…

Why am I still upset?

Why does it still keep popping up in my head?

Why haven’t I moved on?

Why am I not making progress?

With the rise of self development and spirituality, I find that more and more people are rushing to complete their healing. Healing is a continuous, life-long cycle and not a destination. Putting the pressure on yourself to reach the place of ultimate healing is not only toxic, but it impedes your ability to actually heal anything. Healing is about love, compassion, and patience and it’s not going to happen according to a timeline. Allow yourself the time to experience your emotions, see them objectively, forgive yourself and others and move on without the pressure of expectations.

Another reason that you could be experiencing this is that despite the work you think you’ve done, it hasn’t been sufficient. I’ve found that a lot of journal prompts provided online are surface level at best and can be more pacifying than revealing. If you’re not feeling anything while doing your inner work, you’re not doing it correctly. Ultimately, this is about uncovering what makes us UNCOMFORTABLE and moving through those feelings. When you allow yourself to experience the sadness, hurt, anger, and/or frustration than you’re telling yourself that these feelings are okay and don’t need to be suppressed. The reality is that no matter what you’re feeling, you are allowed to experience those emotions and it’s only human! Unfortunately, many people associate lower vibrational emotions as bad, but this is a huge misconception! Telling yourself that anger, sadness, etc. are “bad” implies that you shouldn’t experience these emotions and that you have to get rid of them which is not only wrong, but unhealthy. There is no right or wrong emotions so don’t buy into the belief that you should feel a certain way, simply allow yourself to be and you’ll find that it’s much easier to navigate your emotions and needs. The only way to make it to the other side is by wading through the water, be patient and know that you’re feeling exactly what you should be. When you stop censoring yourself, you’ll discover a newfound sense of freedom and wholeness.

If you find yourself circling back to certain topics, for example, your ex-boyfriend than perhaps there are triggers in your environment that remind you of the situation, you have more that needs to be addressed that you may not have been ready for or aware of previously (hence why shadow work is a practice that is ongoing), or they’re representative of a deeper issue that you’re repressing. Whatever the cause is, the same methods as earlier will apply and can be discerned through your own intuition.

What are some basic journal prompts that I can do?

What feelings come up when you think of ____?

How did that experience make you feel emotionally? How did it make you feel about yourself? How did it make you feel about the other person or people?

Write a letter to yourself, your inner child, the people who’ve hurt you, and the people you’ve hurt. Express how you feel honestly, without holding back and then forgive yourself and the other person.

If you could say anything to yourself or another person for closure, what would it be?

How have these situations and experiences impacted your mental health? How have they affected your belief system about yourself, other people, and the world?

What about yourself are you ashamed of? What about yourself are you embarrassed of? What about yourself makes you angry? What do you regret? Why do you feel this way about yourself and where do these feelings stem from?

What makes you feel most alone? What makes you feel most loved? How can you incorporate that knowledge into your life to make it better?

What’s the most hurtful thing someone has said or done to you? Why did it hurt you so much? How does it still affect you now? How can you heal from it and allow yourself to move on?

What do you need to forgive yourself for? What do you need to forgive others for?

Where do you feel you lack security in your life? Why? How does this impact your life and your relationships?

This is a list of generic prompts for you to start with, but feel free to message me if you need help with more specific topics or I can make another post altogether for journal prompts.

#shadow work #spirituality #witchblr #carl jung #witchcraft #energy work #healing #shadow self

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tothemeadow · 3 years

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How Genshin Characters View the Traveler (aka crushes galore)

I know this isn't a Genshin blog but I need to get this off my chest and organize my thoughts because I believe in Aether harem supremacy ✌

Disclaimer: this is meant for fun, so don’t get your knickers in a twist

Albedo

Albedo blatantly admits that the traveler fascinates them. He'll usually ask to hear of their numerous journeys and take notes on them. He quite enjoys their company, but Albedo is pretty clueless about his own feelings, especially those of the romantic sort. He wonders why he catches himself staring at them so much.

Amber

Amber is easily one of the traveler’s biggest supporters. She almost gets a bit too excited whenever they’re around, but she’ll also outright deny that she has a crush on them if anyone were to poke fun at her. If time allows it, she’ll often ask them to go gliding around Mondstadt with her.

Ayaka

Ever since she first heard of the traveler, their accomplishments genuinely impressed Ayaka. However, once she first met them in person, she was taken aback by how attractive they were. Furthermore, once they helped her out, she gets more insight of how truly wonderful they are and her affections (hence the dance performance).

Barbara

Barbara truly believes they are an actual gift sent by Barbatos himself. Not only are they kind and helpful, but they treat her with respect as a person, not some glorified object. She tends to get flustered easily and turns shy whenever the traveler compliments her.

Beidou

Beidou likes to laugh, and she thinks the traveler is funny. She often swaps stories about fights and adventures with them, so there’s definitely a bond between them! She especially appreciates their fighting spirit and would be honored to have them join their crew or at least be a drinking buddy (despite what the traveler says).

Bennett

The traveler is essentially an idol in Bennett's eyes. He admires them so much, but it never gets to the creepy level of obsession. He jumps at the opportunity to travel with them every time. Bennett isn't really good with distinguishing feelings, but knowing that they treat him as an equal makes his stomach flutter.

Childe

Hey girlie 😏 Childe gets off to the idea of someone successfully kicking his ass or potentially being able to kill him, so he is an absolute simp for the traveler. He genuinely loves it when they show disinterest at his flirting, and he swoons whenever they're sarcastic with him. He's not pathetic, he's just a sadomasochist.

Chongyun

Frankly, Chongyun’s just happy to have another friend besides Xingqiu. He also really likes the way they don’t push him out of his comfort zone, but instead try to gently coax him out. He’s often very cold to the touch and constantly chilly, but he feels oddly warm whenever the traveler is beside him.

Diluc

Appreciates the fact that the traveler isn't full of shit (unlike some people). He's impressed by their competence and their fighting abilities, so he doesn't hesitate in complimenting them. He usually says things without really thinking through them, so sometimes Diluc says something sappy or embarrassing without meaning to.

Diona

Diona thinks the traveler may or may not be cute. She won't admit it, though. She won't admit that she cares about their wellbeing either. The traveler is just another person who's going to come and go, so there's no point in getting invested in them. It's a relatively simple crush, nothing more.

Eula

Eula is more or less impressed with the traveler. She views them as a truly reliable person that is able to get the job done. Although she may seem skeptical at times, one of her greatest fantasies is to find more rebellious people like them and break free of Mondstadt and her lineage.

Fischl

Perhaps the traveler is a dashing monarch from another world! It genuinely excites her that they follow along with her roleplaying, even when some of her messages get lost in translation. She appreciates their friendly gestures and the fact they don’t treat her like an outsider.

Ganyu

A lot of people have a difficult have a hard time understanding Ganyu’s feelings, so it came as quite as a surprise that she and the traveler clicked almost instantly. The traveler treats her as another person, not as some ancient being; this type of behavior is what made her become flustered around them in the first place ☺️

Hu Tao

Thinks they’re super cute! She’s one who’s playful and flirty; however, her ways are a bit odd. She usually tries to tell what kind of casket she’d lick out for the traveler, what she’d dress them in, etc. Sometimes, she’ll bake “special cookies” in the shapes of bones just for them.

Jean

Much like Barbara, Jean sees the traveler as a blessing. However, unlike Barbara, Jean doesn't swoon over their looks or mannerisms; frankly, she's just glad that someone rational is willing to help and not make too much of a commotion (like some certain members of the Knights of Favonius).

Kazuha

Has feelings for the traveler and makes no effort to hide them. Often times Kazuha will write them poems or haikus; sometimes he'll add dried flowers or a pretty leaf. He truly has a way with words, and it never fails to stir something inside the traveler's chest. He's very gentle and mild-mannered, so he never forces anything too heavy on them.

Kaeya

Kaeya is a humongous flirt and everyone knows it. However, he seems even more so once the traveler is in the picture, and he has the tendency of showing off in some sort of way. He knows he's attractive and uses his looks to advantage whenever he can, though he makes sure to keep it somewhat subtle.

Keqing

Keqing isn’t the type to deal with people’s shit and isn’t fond of fools. Fortunately, the traveler doesn’t fall into either of those categories, so she gets along with them quite well. She can find similarities in their personalities (like working constantly), so she appreciates the fact that she can openly discuss these sort of problems with them.

Klee

Genuinely sees them as an older sibling! Klee often goes to them for advice or to spend the day together; often times, she'll send letters or drawings whenever they're apart (and yes, the drawings usually consist of her and the traveler blowing something up).

Lisa

Another flirt, no problems asked. Lisa makes euphemisms quite a bit, and it truly brings her joy when her comments make the traveler blush. Despite being scolded by Jean to tone it down a bit, she genuinely can't help it. The traveler is her personal cutie, and it's only natural for her to treat them as such, isn't it?

Mona

She could easily tell right away that the traveler was someone special upon first glance. Mona sometimes dreams about them - especially about how they helped her out and landed her a place to stay in Mondstadt. She’s grateful for everything that the traveler has done, yet she’ll deny any feelings for them with a bright blush on her face.

Ningguang

The traveler is seen more as a pet. Ningguang is straight up the sugar mama type, and she openly flaunts it. Granted, she respects the traveler highly, but something about their being Liyue’s hero sounds very, very charming. Whether or not she makes a romantic move is entirely up to her, but it’s not out of the question.

Noelle

Needless to say, Noelle gets flustered fairly easily, so whenever the traveler shows affection and support towards her abilities, she somewhat short-circuits. She'll usually try to play off the fluttering in her heart and simply convince herself that the traveler is only being nice, but she can't deny the fact that she has feelings for them.

Qiqi

Another one that looks up to the traveler as an older sibling. She often refers to her notebook to remind herself as to why she likes them so much; they’re patient with her and genuinely try to help her remember things, plus they’ll bring her candies from Mondstadt sometimes.

Razor

Razor has no idea what romantic feelings are or how he should identify them. All he knows is that he gets excited whenever he sees the traveler, and his metaphorical tail wags furiously. He's keen on protecting them and bringing them food, plus he likes to lie next to them when they relax by the fire.

Rosaria

Like Diluc, Rosaria likes how the traveler isn’t full of shit and can actually put up a decent fight. However, she isn’t the type to compliment them, but rather points out how they can further hone their skills. If anything, she acts more like the traveler’s drunk aunt.

Sayu

She’s mostly indifferent towards the traveler, but - like with most people - she envies their height. Sayu appreciates that they don’t make fun of her size, plus they somehow always manage to find her when she’s hiding for her nap, so she’s fairly interested in what kind of person they are.

Sucrose

Like with most people, Sucrose is quite shy around the traveler, but for some reason she feels more comfortable around them than anyone else. She respects them much like she respects Albedo. She also thinks the traveler has a very nice smile.

Thoma

Thoma is another flirt, but he’s much more reserved in his ways. He’ll often make encouraging comments or flatter the traveler with a bright smile. His flirting either makes the traveler blush or it goes right over their head. There is no in between.

Venti

Venti has a slight... obsession for them. Not in a creepy way, but more in a clingy sense. He practically hangs from them whenever he's messing around, and he unashamedly writes them songs. Venti is also a big fan of hugs! When he's drunk, though, that's when things take a darker, more seductive turn...

Xiangling

Xiangling’s poor little heart goes doki doki whenever she gets to cook for the traveler, have them cook with her, or eat a meal that they prepared. The way to her heart is definitely through her stomach! It’s a fairly small crush since cooking is her true love in life, but if the traveler pops up at Wanmin Restaurant and specifically asks for her again… Oh boy.

Xiao

Secretly has feelings for the traveler, but he refuses to admit it. Xiao thinks feelings like these are a waste of time and only bring pain; since he's been through much and the ultimate emo, he's even more emotionally constipated than the normal person. Although he doesn't outright say it, he'll often show his affection through actions.

Xingqiu

Two words: library dates. Whether if it's meant to be romantic or not, Xingqiu has an affinity for those who show genuine intelligence and is willing to discuss stories with him. Xingqiu could literally sit there all day and listen to the traveler tell him about the different worlds he's been to. It's quite refreshing!

Xinyan

Like Venti, Xinyan will write songs for the traveler, but she's more timid about showing them since rock music has yet a long way to go in Liyue, much less in Teyvat. She'll casually invite them for a jam session and ask for their opinion on how her songs sound. All in all, she thinks the traveler is pretty rad 👀

Yanfei

Yanfei is very skilled and knowledgeable in a wide range of topics, but when it comes to the art of seduction… not so much. She isn’t entirely sure if she has affections towards the traveler or not, but she enjoys being in their company nonetheless. However… she may or may not have tried to teach them Liyue law while over tea 😅

Yoimiya

Thinks the traveler is a lot of fun! She was already interested by the mere fact that they were an outsider, but once they showed their worth and came to her aid, it really sealed the deal. Viewing fireworks with them was an incredibly crucial moment, and she’ll keep that memory stored in her heart for all time.

Zhongli

Zhongli is very protective of them and wants to spoil them, but at the same time, he's also very, very broke. It's not sugar daddy status, obviously, but he enjoys treating them out to a dinner or a night on the town. The traveler thinks he's doing it just to be nice, but Paimon calls bullshit.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x traveler #genshin impact headcanons #other

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