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nsharks · 3 months

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bleeding blue | apocalypse au

part eighteen —other parts

pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader words: 3.3k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn’t here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival.

Over the next four days, you find yourself panting in exhilaration each morning you spar with Ghost. Every slam of your hand into his ribs feels strangely better than the last. He goes harder on you. He'd been holding back, too, apparently— an unfortunate fact for your ribs. The pain seems to motivate you more, even if he is still beating the shit out of you.

Blue also motivates you. "Hit his nose again!"

Of course, that is the one part of him you purposely avoid.

The sun returns and sweat glides down your face. You knee his stomach. It's less vulnerable than swinging a kick, but still, he attempts to grab you by the waist. You quickly skirt away, the ground firmer beneath your feet, only for his hand to latch onto one of your braids, instead. A sting pulses through your scalp as he tugs hard, wrenching your ear close to his mouth.

"Quicker. Good. But don't get too cocky."

"I thought you wanted me to be more confident," you retort between ragged breaths.

"Yes, but you can't forget who has the advantage here." There is the slightest bit of arrogance in his voice that makes your teeth grit.

"How could I ever forget?" Your head tilts and he releases the braid. Suddenly, the thought of smacking his nose again doesn’t seem so bad.

His eyebrow quirks. "Get some water, Twix. You need it."

The water caresses your tongue as you gulp it down without abandon. Unsurprisingly, Blue has disappeared somewhere in the treetops. The lack of more broken bones has waned her interest.

When Ghost lifts his mask to drink, you steal a glance at his nose, noticing that the swelling has gone down significantly. The fact he is still wearing that thing with a broken nose upholds your theory that he is at least slightly insane— as if the fact that he once shoved a gun into your fresh wound wasn’t already evidence of that.

Out of nowhere, he materializes beside you and places a hand on your stomach. Your sore muscles spasm under the surprise of his touch, his long fingers stretching from one side of your ribs to the other.

"Your strength starts here,” he explains in a hoarse murmur. “Keep it tight and you will deliver more damage."

You purse your lips to hide a wince and tap your nose. "Don’t I already deliver enough damage?"

"The nose is fragile. You may be landing more hits on me, but I still hardly feel a thing from them."

He allows you to pry his hand off, but the pressure of it seems to linger. Ghost studies you in a way that turns you translucent before demanding, "Lift your shirt, Twix."

Exhaling through your nose, you hesitate before peeling it up, revealing the collection of bruises you have earned from him. A myriad of pink, purple, and yellow skin flares up under his gaze. They have been giving you a hard time lacing your boots and tying your hair in the morning, but once you get moving, the ache becomes easier to ignore.

He has already seen your stomach and more, yet, your skin itches from the exposure. You shove the shirt back down.

His expression shifts. "You should have said something."

"They're just bruises. I'm not bleeding or anything."

"Still."

"Still what?"

He looks irritated. "You need to fucking communicate."

"I don't see why it matters. No coddling, right?"

"That doesn't mean I'm interested in breaking you."

You jerk your chin up to meet his stare. “You won't."

Blue swings down from a tree, plopping between the two of you and unintentionally—thankfully—putting an end to the subject. "I'm glad you two are finally getting along. It's good for the team." She nudges her dad. "But are you done with her yet? You can't just hog Twix all to yourself."

He clears his throat and the air between your bodies breathes wider. "If you're getting bored maybe we need to find something for you to practice."

"Nope!" she says quickly. "Not bored at all."

He nods to a tree. "Go on. Practice your knives. You haven't done that in a while. Then, you can have her."

With a groan, she trudges away.

The sparring continues.

Ghost's fists soften by a smidge.

"He annoys the shit out of me sometimes."

Blue rips up a tuft of grass as you inch back to admire the swipe of color on her eyelids. It was her idea to use the bold-colored flowers for makeup— just like the models in her magazines. You did your best to mash the petals and mix them with some creekwater, but the result is kind of patchy and not nearly as smooth as the stuff you used to put on years ago.

"Hold still. I'm doing your cheeks next."

The sun highlights the splash of freckles on her cheeks and you try to recall if Ghost had them. Her nose is nothing like his. A dainty button. Another trait she must've gotten from her mom.

"Did you used to wear makeup?" she asks curiously, eyelashes fluttering down.

"Sometimes. Especially when I went out."

"Went out where?"

Concentration nudges between your brows. "To clubs and stuff. It's where people would... dance."

Her lips spread as she cocks her head to the side in a manner that emulates her dad. You have to remind her again to stop moving. “Oh. Sorry. You danced?"

"I mean, not good dancing. Just dancing for fun,” you murmur, shrugging at the faint memories of being sandwiched between strangers, alcohol flowing through your veins rather than fear and adrenaline. Back then, mornings were spent nursing a hangover before class rather than earning bruises from an ex-lieutenant.

Humor dances in her eyes when they reopen. "I don't think Ghost ever went to a club. I cannot imagine him dancing."

The images in your mind morph into something utterly laughable— him standing there like an immovable tank as people try to dance around him. "No, probably not."

"He never really tells me about his life before shit happened," she says thoughtfully.

This piques your curiosity, but you keep your voice light. "No?"

"Well, he tells me the simple stuff. Mostly about his job. But never... never the small things, you know? Like I have no idea what he used to do for fun or what his life was like when he was a kid." She pauses a moment before adding, "He had a brother. That much I know."

You glance up. "Had?"

"He died before the virus. His mom and dad, too. But every time I ask how they died, he just says," she deepens her voice, "'Doesn't matter how, kid. Dead is dead.'"

"Oh, um, yeah, that sounds like something he would say." You tap your fingers under her chin. "I can put some on your lips, too."

Her eyes close again as she puckers her lips out. When you're done, she continues. "He also never talks about my mom." Her face twists. “I think he thinks talking about her will hurt my feelings."

For a few seconds, you struggle to find a response. The rare mention of her mom always makes your heart stutter, but this time, your broken, callused hand reaches out to brush a strand of hair behind her ear.

"It's okay to feel hurt, you know."

Blue shrugs and looks up at the cobalt sky. "I don't think I remember her enough to feel that hurt anymore. She feels so... far away. I remember small things, like the sound of her voice and her old apartment where I lived, but sometimes I wonder if I am making up those memories, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean." A terrible urge sits on your tongue to ask her more about her mom, about what exactly her relationship was like with Ghost, but Blue changes the subject before you can.

"Does the makeup look good?" A shy blush clouds her cheeks.

You stand up with a faint smile. "I think I did pretty damn good. Come on. I want you to go look in the mirror."

Music.

It pounds so hard you feel it in your chest.

Neon walls enclose you as someone touches your backside, dancing against you. There is a man's voice in your ear that you think you recognize but it's hard to hear him through all the laughing and chatter. Your hair falls in loose curls down your back, free of braids, and you swipe it from your sweaty skin before excusing yourself to the bathroom.

You push through the people. The narrow hall is shrouded with different doors... so many doors. Where is the bathroom? It must be a Friday night on Oxford Street with how fucking crowded and stuffy this place is. Someone knocks into you roughly and your footsteps quicken. A sense of urgency drags you into the next door you come across, a large one made of grey oak.

The smell is horrendous but you feel relieved to see urinals and stalls. Immediately, you press into the granite counter and grip the edge as you catch your breath. The scratched, warped mirror houses a face covered in makeup. Youthful eyes. Flushed cheeks. How much have you had to drink? You need to go home. You will pee and then go home, you tell yourself. Over and over, you repeat this as you relieve yourself in one of the graffiti-doused stalls where condom and tampon wrappers crinkle beneath your heels.

When you're done, you try for the large door you came through, but it doesn't budge. The muffled music outside has faded. Panic sears your chest. You press your back against the door. The bathroom has changed. The stalls are gone. The walls feel like they are closing in, and the smell of piss turns into something even worse. You are alone. Where is the man you came with? You look down. Dead bodies. Strewn limbs. You're standing on a pile of them.

You start screaming. Banging on the door. Digging your fingers into the wood until the flesh rubs down to bone.

It's not a room anymore, but a box. The fluorescent lights replaced by sheer darkness.

The edges of the door disappear.

A sickening silence replaces your screams.

And then—

"Twix."

You sit up, wild-eyed. You grip onto something—fabric—and a foul taste travels up your throat without warning. You heave several times, your entire body shuddering.

When awareness settles in, you wipe your mouth and blink up. Ghost. He is... here. Hovering over you. His shirt is tightly bunched between your fingers and you have just vomited into it. The realization smacks you awake and you recoil sharply, staring at his moonlit mask with an expression that must be just short of mortified.

"I... Fuck. I am so sorry. I don't know why— I just..."

When you dare to look at the mess you've left on him, you nearly vomit again. Hands shaking, you rub at your clammy face and begin to ramble unthinkingly as his stare flickers between you and his soiled shirt.

"I've been trying so hard not to hold back like you said, but I think it is fucking me up a little and letting out some things— memories, I guess. I was pretty good about keeping it all in my box because I've been too tired to even think about it, but now I just..." You trail off, realizing your words must make little sense.

"You've certainly let something out," he rasps.

Your hands drop against the sofa and you cringe. "I'll wash it for you. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

You inhale. "I just fucking threw up on you."

"I'm aware."

Ghost straightens. He pinches the collar of his shirt and carefully hoists it over his head. Then, you're looking at his bare chest. Slivers of moonlight caress rigid brawn and mountainous scars that capture your gaze for a few heartbeats before you tear it away.

"I'll, um, hang it outside and... wash it in the morning."

Your legs are unnervingly steady when you stand up and take the shirt from him, carefully grabbing it by a dry spot. You are relieved to get away from him, draping it over the porch and swallowing gulps of fresh air before you go back inside, praying he's gone back to bed.

Luckily, he has. When the empty living room greets you, you sink to the sofa and palm your eyes. Then, you notice something left on the pillow. A cigarette. You pick it up and recall the few times you smoked whenever your friends offered one. The taste never sat well with you.

You rummage for your lighter. The first inhale burns terribly, but you cough into the pillow and try again. It starts to calm you down after a few times, and only when you've gotten to the butt of it do you go back to sleep.

"No wonder you're not getting stronger if you throw up like that every night."

Not even five minutes into training the next morning he brings it up. The rest of your sleep ended abruptly when he got you up at an unearthly time, probably to avoid having Blue as an audience. You are too winded to even scowl, your fists held tight in front of your face as you try to predict where he will aim next.

"I told you. That was the first night in a while."

"Right. Something about a box, huh?"

"Can we just forget about it, please?"

"Hard to forget when my shirt still smells."

"I washed it the best I could."

The next dodge has your head flying down fast enough to undo one of your braids. Hair slips over your face and you huff, holding your hand up. "Hold on. Give me a minute."

As you undo the other one and opt for shoving your hair into a tight bun instead, he watches you strangely. The feel of his stare ignites a spark of irritation and you flash him a sideways glance. "Look, thank you for the cigarette and everything else you have ever done for me, but you can stop looking at me like that. Like you... pity me. I'm not going to break, I'm not going to ask you to kill me again. Everyone left in this world has nightmares and mine probably aren't the worst of them."

"I don't pity you," he says. "I am just trying to understand you."

"Why?" You finish the bun and drop your arms awkwardly at your sides.

"It's important to understand your ally."

"Oh. Is that what we are?"

His eyes narrow. "Obviously. I wouldn't bother wasting my time with this every day if we weren't."

"Good to know you aren't doing it because you owe me."

"You know what I mean, Twix," he growls.

"No, I don't." You throw your arms up. "I don't know what you mean and I don't know why you never killed me because you had every reason to, and I definitely don't understand you, so I guess we make terrible allies, Ghost."

"What is with you?" He cocks his head to the side, tone mild with curiosity. "So talkative all of the sudden."

"I have no problem talking when the other person isn't blatantly ignoring me."

His brows lift. "Fair enough."

A deep inhale flares your nostrils before you spread your stance. "I'm ready now."

Despite your claim of readiness, he quickly backs you into a defensive position that has you frustrated once again. You don't understand why, but your progress slips. You keep having to adjust your stance and all of your attempts to hit him fail. It's not long before he locks you against a tree with a tattooed forearm against your neck.

"You aren't focused today," he accuses.

"Damn, you're observant," you breathe out.

"Jesus fucking Christ. If I wanted to listen to someone mouthing off, I'd get Blue out here." He presses a bit harder and your throat twitches. "I'm not going to threaten you anymore, but clearly, you think straighter when you channel your anger, so whatever you were dreaming about last night— get it out of your head."

He's right. You breathe deep and try sorting through everything in your head, focusing on just the anger, but it's like fishing in murky water. When he releases you, more of the same happens. This time, you end up on your butt. Ghost glares down at you, circling like a vulture.

"You were doing good the past few days. What the hell is this?"

"I told you," you say through your teeth, brushing off the dirt from your jeans. "Letting out my anger means letting everything else in the box out and it is... confusing me. Making my head fuzzy, I guess."

His chest expands with a deep breath and his pointed stare turns meticulous. "Explain this box to me."

You hesitate for a moment. "It's just... where I put away all of the shit that would otherwise make me insane."

"And what is wrong with being a little insane, Twix? This world is insane. Might as well match it."

Your mouth opens, then closes. You struggle for an answer and rub your temples. "I don't know. Being insane means losing myself completely. I mean, I have already changed so much in the past five years. Like I said, I was never meant to be this person."

"What person? A person who survives? A person who does what she has to?"

"A person who hurts others," you grit out. "A person who kills."

"You've killed people, right?" he roughly asks and you nod. "Then you're a killer. You were always meant to be a killer. End of story." His words strike you, and you begin to shake your head defensively, but he continues before you can muster a reply. "The past five years haven't changed you, they have revealed who you are. Now—" he raises his fists, "—open the stupid box and turn everything you feel into anger. All of it. It is valuable fuel that will continue to keep you alive."

He swings.

A kaleidoscope of long-ignored memories flashes through your brain when he hits your sore stomach. Your family. Your friends. The life stolen from you.

And then— you recover your footing and slam a boot into his knee. It loosens his stance just enough for you to throw yourself at him, effectively knocking him over. The ground welcomes your bodies again, but this time, you grip his shoulders and wind up on top, practically laying all of your weight on him. A few harsh breaths expel from your nose before you become fully aware of the position, the heat from his chest pressing into your breasts.

Quickly, you splay your hands flat against him and sit up straight, thighs spread over his narrow hips. Ghost could easily flip you over and pin you if he wanted. But instead, he crosses his arms behind his head.

"Comfortable?" you ask him breathlessly, raising a brow.

"Quite. Though, if this were real, I suggest an elbow to the neck once you've got them down."

"So you admit it, then. I got you down."

"I allowed it."

"Sure." Your teeth snag on your lip and you lightly brush a finger over his masked nose, detecting a tick in the hinge of his jaw. "Then I will 'allow' you to keep this for now, but next time, I might do more than just break it."

His eyes widen imperceptibly before he quickly recovers. "Ah. So you are a person who hurts others, then. Someone was trying to tell me otherwise."

Your lips twitch at the corner on their own accord. "Shut the fuck up."

He simply stares at you for a pregnant pause before clearing his throat. "I did allow it, but that was good. You focused on the anger, didn't you?"

You nod. "Yeah, I did. Is that what you do all the time?" you ask curiously. "Just get angry and kill people?"

"Pretty much."

By the tone of his voice, a deep brass that reverberates through all the places your bodies touch, you are certain he's joking. Realizing that you are still on top of him, you push off his chest and swing a leg over, careful not to knee his face or let him see the deep flush that crawls over every inch of your skin.

#simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #fanfiction #ghost #zombie apocolypse au

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punkshort · 2 months

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somewhere to run | 10. austin

Pairing: sheriff!Joel x f!reader

Chapter Summary: You and Joel travel to Austin to meet with a lawyer.

Chapter Warnings: language, angst, hurt/comfort, flirting, sexual tension, emotional abuse, infidelity, some recapping of DV and SA situations but nothing new, smut (18+ MDNI), unprotected (reader previously mentions she's on bc) piv sex

WC: 6.6K

A/N: I have started a notification blog - @punkshort-notifs if you are interested in following for fic updates (but I will be keeping the tag list for this series until it is over)

Series Masterlist

One Month Later

Life carried on the way it always does. Without permission, regardless of any pain or suffering, it always remained a constant. Whether you were present or not, whether you wanted to acknowledge it or hide from it, it didn't matter, because life always carried on.

The first week was the worst. A week of what you could only describe as depression. A week of being alone. Safe, but terribly alone. Going to work helped distract you, until he came in for lunch like always and it felt like your heart was being torn in two all over again. And you could tell it hurt him, too, but you both seemed willing to withstand the pain over not seeing each other at all. Because even though it hurt, it was a reminder you were alive. A reminder that you could still care enough about somebody else, despite everything.

The second week was when you could no longer smell him in your bed. You woke up one morning, eyes barely even open as you searched around the pillowcase, then the sheets, grabbing and pulling at the fabric, desperate to seek out his scent to no avail.

The third week was when you finally didn't have to fight the urge to call or text him, even though he said you could, you knew it would just make things harder. And he must have agreed because he didn't reach out, either.

The fourth week was when you began to feel like you were finally coming out of your slump. You could go to the grocery store or pharmacy and didn't feel your heart skip a beat, you didn't scan the parking lot for his truck in the hopes of running into him. You didn't stop thinking about him, but it just hurt less. That is, until you ran into Hailey coming back from work one evening.

She was out on the sidewalk, cleaning up some garbage from the picnic tables in front of the pizzeria when you waved and caught her eye. You could immediately tell something was wrong by the pained smile she gave you.

"Hey," she said, the smile not reaching her eyes as she leaned up against her broom.

"What's going on?" you asked her. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, I know, sorry. Work's been-" she waved in the direction of the propped open door and shook her head. "But I've been meaning to talk to you."

"Oh?"

"It's about book club," she said, dropping her gaze to the ground. "And I just want to let you know, I voted against it-"

"They don't want me back, do they?" you offered, trying to make it easier for her. She sighed and shook her head.

"It's all so stupid, I'm sorry," she said, looking up at you again. "Nikki's got all those old ladies wrapped around her finger and they're just pissed Joel dumped her for... well, y'know."

"They know we aren't together, right? I mean, I'm married..." you trailed off, not wishing to go into too much detail when you knew eventually when you went to court, all your dirty laundry would be aired.

"Yeah, they do. Still, they blame you, and it's stupid, like I said. They should be mad at Joel, it's not like it's your fault, and I swear I tried explaining that-"

"It's okay," you said, holding up your hand and giving her a sad smile. "I appreciate it, but it's fine. I have a lot coming up, anyway. I won't find that much time to read."

"But we can still hang out! Do you wanna go get drinks this weekend? Or maybe see a movie?" Hailey asked, and you could tell she genuinely felt bad.

"Yeah, either of those sound great," you said. "I'll text you and we can figure something out."

You made a hasty exit and dragged yourself up the stairs to your apartment. Even though you probably wouldn't have continued to go, the rejection still stung.

For a while, the silence was deafening. Without a TV to even distract you, leaving you with endless amounts of time to overthink, you were worried you were going insane. You lucked out recently and found a decent TV at a thrift store, so you at least had something to occupy your time, although you knew it would be short lived. In a couple days, you had an appointment to meet with a law firm in Austin. An appointment Joel had set up and offered to attend with you, and at the time, you were so desperate for anything to do with him, you agreed, but now you were wondering if that was a bad idea. Almost two hours in the car alone with Joel? No, that didn't seem like a good idea at all.

"Whadd'ya mean, you wanna drive separate?" Joel asked as you refilled his coffee. "That doesn't make any sense. Waste of gas."

"Yeah, but I was thinking of staying an extra day. Check out the city," you lied, turning your back to him so he wouldn't be able to see through you.

"Alone?"

You cringed at the word, but nodded. The little dinner bell rang in the window and your eyes jumped up just in time to see Thor put Joel's sandwich on the small shelf. You grabbed the plate and set it down in front of him, his eyes still boring into you, waiting for a better explanation.

"I think it'll just be easier," you said quietly, the words only meant for his ears. When he connected the dots, he leaned back in his chair and nodded.

"Oh," he said, gaze drifting down to his food. "That's a shame. I was lookin' forward to it."

"I'm sorry," you told him, grabbing a rag and pretending to wipe down the counter so your conversation didn't invite gossip and speculation. "So was I. That's the problem."

"And if I promise to behave myself, would you reconsider?" he teased, finally making you smile a little.

"I think you're incapable of behaving yourself, Sheriff," you replied, making him chuckle.

This was what your relationship had been reduced to: quick, flirty exchanges over coffee and turkey clubs. You supposed it was better than nothing.

"C'mon, it's just a couple hours. If you want, you can nap or listen to music," he said, picking up his sandwich and taking a bite.

"Fine," you relented, but only because once you offered taking two cars out loud, you realized how stupid it sounded.

"Pick you up at 7?" he asked around a mouth full of food.

"Sure. Do I need to prepare anything? I've never gotten this far in the process before," you told him, suddenly feeling nervous.

"Nope. Helen already sent over all the reports and once the process gets started, they'll reach out to whatever hospital you went to back in Philly to get your emergency room medical reports," he explained, and you nodded along, feeling fidgety. "I'm sure they'll do some more digging while they're at it. Reach out to his police captain and all that."

"Right," you said, biting your nail.

"One step at a time, alright?" he told you softly, picking up on your nerves. "You already did your part, now let the lawyers do theirs."

"But I'll have to testify," you reminded him, and he slowly nodded.

"Most likely, yes. You don't have to, but it'll help your case if you do."

"And he'll be there?" you asked, wringing the towel between your hands.

"Yeah, he'll be there," Joel said, watching your face fall. "But I'll be there, too. You just look at me when the time comes, don't look at him."

"Okay," you said, taking a deep breath. You knew this would be hard, but you also knew it was necessary. "And this lawyer - they can help me get a divorce?"

"Yeah," he said with a nod, and you breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay," you said again. You forced yourself to smile even though the anxiety was already creeping up. "I can do this," you told him, trying to sound confident.

"Hell yes, you can do this," he replied. "That's my girl," he added, picking up his sandwich then pausing before taking a bite. He glanced up at you and gave you half a smirk when he noticed the look on your face at the term of endearment. "Sorry, I'll behave."

You had initially dreaded waking up so early, but after the restless night's sleep you ended up having, it turned out it didn't make much of a difference. Your appointment was at 9:30 and it took about two hours to get to Austin, so Joel arriving at 7am gave you a decent cushion in case there was traffic.

Already two cups of coffee down, you poured the rest into a travel thermos and grabbed your purse before jogging lightly down your stairs. You locked your door and turned towards the street to find Joel's truck parked right out front. Glancing around, you noticed it was fairly quiet still, which was a relief. Joel didn't have to take you to see a lawyer. His job was technically done until the trial. He was doing this for you, to give you some support and advice and it would be ideal if you could keep people from gossiping about it for as long as possible.

"Mornin'," he greeted you with a lazy smile, which perked right up when you handed him the thermos. "Oh, you're an angel, baby," he murmured, taking a sip with an appreciative groan. You took a deep breath and forced yourself to focus on your seatbelt. Less than two minutes and he already had you squirming in your seat.

The first hour of the trip actually turned out to be relatively quiet. You sat in a comfortable silence, listening to the radio while Joel hummed along and tapped the steering wheel and if you closed your eyes, you could imagine the scene just a little differently. Instead of Joel taking you to see a lawyer in Austin so you could press charges and divorce your abusive husband, you imagined you were taking a road trip together. Maybe with no destination in mind: just the two of you and the open road, stopping whenever you saw fit to explore and staying at roadside motels with stiff sheets and shag carpets, limbs tangled together as you panted into each other's mouths. No secrets. No drama. You smiled to yourself, the fantasy giving you a pleasant reminder of what you could have if you just stayed strong.

"What're you smilin' for?" he asked, and your eyes opened to look at him.

"Nothing," you said, and he clicked his tongue against his teeth. God, you missed that tongue and what it could do.

"When all this is over, do you think we can take a road trip together?" you asked him, and his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Yeah, 'course we can," he replied, glancing over at you briefly before looking back at the road. "Where did you wanna go?"

"Doesn't matter," you said, rolling the back of your head against the seat. "Just wanna be with you," you added, softer this time. He looked over at you again, examining your face quickly before focusing back on the road.

"Me too, baby," he said, just as softly.

Joel stopped at a gas station just outside the city to fuel up and stretch your legs. After using the restroom, you wandered up and down the aisles while Joel pumped gas just outside. You were the only one in the store, aside from the sleazy cashier with greasy hair and nicotine stained teeth leering at you every time you crossed his field of vision.

You decided on a couple waters and some sugary pastries and made your way up to the front, forcing a polite smile for the cashier, whose eyes were greedily raking up and down your frame as you approached. You were wearing a modest dress with a cardigan, doing your best to look put together for your appointment, but that didn't stop the cashier's eyes from roaming.

"That all?" he asked as he began to ring you up. You nodded and hummed before glancing out the window, watching as Joel replaced the nozzle on the pump.

"$8.32," he told you, his eyes dropping to your chest as you pulled out a ten dollar bill from your wallet and handed it to him. Your fingertips tapped impatiently on the counter as he slowly counted out your change, clearly trying to prolong the interaction longer than necessary. When it appeared he was ready to hand over the money, you held your hand out, but he pulled your change back a bit and leaned forward.

"You from 'round here?"

"No, just passing through," you said, lifting your hand again, but he clenched your change in his fist.

"What's a pretty girl like you doin' out here all by yourself?" he sneered, his hand dropping below the counter to not so subtly adjust himself in his pants. You made a disgusted face and he smirked.

"She ain't alone," Joel's deep voice rang out from behind you. The cashier's eyes drifted over your shoulder and looked like he was about to make a snide comment when you felt Joel's hand around your waist. His eyes fell to Joel's belt and saw the badge and gun and the smirk he was sporting a moment ago vanished. He quickly handed you back your change and busied himself with organizing the cigarettes while Joel tugged on your waist, urging you to back towards the parking lot.

"And you wanted to drive separate," Joel teased as he led you towards his truck. He opened the passenger door and stepped back so you could get in but you paused and looked up at him. His forehead crinkled as he grinned, his eyes squinting in the sun and all you wanted to do was kiss him and never stop.

"What?" he finally asked when you didn't make a move to get into the car.

"I really want to kiss you right now," you murmured, and you watched the grin slip from his face and his eyes flick down to your mouth.

"We can't," he replied, his voice pained as his gaze continued to drift from your eyes to your lips.

"I know," you sighed. Instead, you stood on your tiptoes to press a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth, your lips lingering a moment longer than you should have before climbing into his truck. His breathing stuttered, the feeling of your lips on his skin again sending him into a tailspin. He took a deep breath and looked up at you in the cab, putting on your seatbelt.

"Soon," he told you, giving your leg a squeeze before closing the door.

"So you mentioned you know some of these lawyers?" you asked him as he drove through downtown Austin.

"Yeah, I've dealt with this law firm a lot on some cases over the years. They're good people, as far as lawyers go," he joked before making a right hand turn. "I asked to meet with one of the women. Her name's Madeline. She's nice. Been there a real long time. Thought you'd feel more comfortable with that," he said, and you nodded.

"Thank you," you told him for maybe the twentieth time that day. You were convinced if not for Joel, you never would have made it this far. You would have had no idea where to even begin, but he knew the answers to all those questions and helped give you the confidence you so desperately needed.

Your hands began to shake and your stomach felt like it was in knots as the two of you walked up to the front doors of the impressive four-story building. Men and women streamed in and out of the doors, most dressed in suits and pencil skirts and talking on their phones hurriedly. You swallowed the lump in your throat once you got to the front of the building, but Joel held the door open for you with a reassuring smile.

"Don't be nervous, it'll be alright," he murmured as you walked up to the large receptionist desk that housed two women with headsets on, typing furiously into their computers. One looked up and caught your eye, giving you a friendly smile.

"Mornin'," Joel said, telling the young woman your name and appointment time. She glanced at her computer and nodded before looking back up at you both with another smile.

"I'll let her know you're here, you can take a seat. It shouldn't be very long," the woman said, casting Joel one more admiring glance before she turned back to her phone and dialed a number.

Joel led you over to some plush couches and chairs and you nervously picked up an old magazine. You skimmed through it, just looking for something to occupy your hands as you waited. He sat down next to you, then inched closer so he could rest his arm along the back of the couch. It felt like he was wrapping his arms around you without actually touching you, and it gave you a temporary sense of peace.

After a few minutes of listening to the receptionists answer the phones and transfer calls, you finally heard your name and Joel's. You both looked up to find a thin, middle aged woman with short, blonde hair and glasses and a kind smile waiting for you.

"Maddy," Joel said warmly, and the hairs on the back of your neck went up. He wouldn't have asked an ex-girlfriend to represent you, would he?

"Joel, long time no see," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek before introducing herself to you and shaking your hand.

"That's usually a good thing," he reminded her as the two of you followed her down a long hallway, passing by a few empty conference rooms and closed doors that presumably lead to offices.

"Yes, very true," she agreed with a chuckle before stopping in front of her office. She extended an arm, inviting the two of you to enter first before she followed and closed the door behind her.

"How's Tracy?" Joel asked, glancing at a photo on her desk as you sat down.

"She's great. It's our ten year anniversary this summer. We're planning a cruise," she said, settling into her desk chair and shooting you a smile.

Okay, so probably not an ex.

"Alright, let's not waste any time. I know you drove a long way to get here," Madeline said, clasping her hands together on her desk and giving you another smile. She gave off a positive energy, and you could feel yourself loosening up. "I read over everything Joel sent over so I know the basics, and I am so sorry for everything you've had to endure," she said, her eyes softening. "But can you explain to me why you've never tried to come forward before? Trust me, his lawyer will bring it up."

"Well, I have tried," you began, your fingers tangling together in your lap. "I've gone to the police a handful of times but every time I thought I was making progress, Patrick would do something - call in a favor, I don't know," you said with a shrug. "And my police reports magically disappeared. I've gone to the hospital on several occasions-"

"That's right, I did read that. Which hospital?" she asked, picking up a pen, the tip hovering over a legal pad.

"There were a few different ones," you said, then rattled off the names and approximate dates you visited each hospital.

"Okay. We'll reach out and get copies of those records for the trial," she said, dropping the pen and looking at you to continue.

You went on to tell her about your experience with the police back in Philadelphia and how angry Patrick would get after those visits. You told her about his disappearances for days at a time and how he would come home in a haze, no doubt with alcohol and some type of drug in his veins, how those were the times he hurt you the most.

By the time you got to the part in your story where you packed a bag and left Philadelphia during one of Patrick's benders, you felt a lot more at ease. Your nerves were gone and Madeline's comforting gaze made it so much easier to tell her everything.

"So the next step in the process is discovery. Our team here is going to be digging up dirt back in Philly, and I am sure Patrick's lawyer is already doing the same thing," she said, putting down her pen and looking at you over her glasses. "That being said: is there anything I need to know? I don't like surprises in court. I don't care if you ever smoked weed or pushed him back, I just need to know so I can get ahead of it." You quickly shook your head.

"No, I've never tried drugs and I never hit him back." You glanced over at Joel for the first time and found him staring at you with a look in his eye that made you believe you were thinking about the same thing. After a moment, you turned back to Madeline, about to open your mouth to speak when Joel cut you off.

"There's one more thing," he said, sitting up straighter in his chair. She looked at him curiously, clearly not expecting him to have anything to add. "We, uh," he cleared his throat and glanced over at you. "We had a brief, personal relationship," he said. Madeline sat back in her chair and you could have sworn she was glaring at him. "It's over. It was just once," he continued, and you nodded quickly, trying to help him out.

"Nobody knows, either," you told her, drawing her gaze back onto you. "Patrick had his suspicions, but he also accused me of sleeping with two cooks from work, which is untrue," you clarified, "he's just jealous and angry."

"How can you be sure nobody knows?" she asked, and you paused.

"W-well, nobody..." you trailed off, looking at Joel for help.

"It's a small town, Maddy. If people knew, they'd be talkin'. Trust me," he said, rolling his eyes. "The most anyone knows is I had a little crush on her, but nothin' more."

"Besides. Patrick's cheated on me for years. I'm not an idiot, I could smell the perfume on his jacket and found the condom wrappers in his pants pocket," you told her, but she shook her head.

"This is a little different, hun," she said, leaning forward. "Joel's the town sheriff. He arrested Patrick and broke his nose. It's going to look like he had ulterior motives," she said, lifting up a piece of paper in front of her to double check her notes.

"I didn't break his nose, the table broke his nose. It was self-defense. The guy's got nothin'," Joel scoffed.

"Yeah you're probably right, but he's still going to make your life a living hell in court," Madeline said. "You looking for representation, too?"

"What?!" you exclaimed, turning in your seat to look at Joel. "He's suing you?"

"Yeah, it's no big deal. Happens from time to time, nothin' ever comes from it," he said casually.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you asked, your voice softening.

"Didn't wanna worry you. You gotta focus on this," he said, pointing to Madeline. "The other shit doesn't matter."

You wanted to argue with him but you knew your time was running short, so you let it go.

"Well at least you had the good sense not to take her statement," she said, glancing down at the papers before her. "Let's just hope it doesn't come up, and if it does, I'll be prepared," she said, making a note to herself before giving you her attention again. "I'll do my best to fast track this and set a court date. I'll have my team call his superior officer and we'll run some checks on him, call the hospitals, and start building your case. I'll be in touch soon about any potential witnesses you can bring to the stand that you trust. Anybody who might have witnessed Patrick abusing you, even if he was just yelling or twisting your arm. People you confided in. Anybody you might think can help, start thinking about it now and gathering contact info, okay?"

"Okay," you said firmly. You were starting to feel better, like this was the beginning of the end. And you had the feeling that Madeline was the right person to fight for you. She seemed honest and straight forward, understanding yet tough. This was someone who would give you your freedom back.

"And I can get a divorce?" you asked, and she nodded.

"Yes, I'm going to file the petition this afternoon and he will be served the papers," she explained. "If he contests it, we can cross that bridge when we come to it, but I'm hoping with all the fire we're throwing at him, he won't want to put up a fight."

"Thank you," you breathed, feeling even more at ease now that something was actually happening today. Any amount of progress at this point made you feel good.

You stayed another hour to review an endless amount of paperwork: the contract with the law firm, reviewing your statement for any inaccuracies, initialing and dating next to so many paragraphs on the petition to be filed that your eyes were going blurry by the end.

As you both stood up to follow Madeline out of her office, you stopped short.

"Wait, what about payment? I don't think we discussed legal fees in the contract," you said, frowning as you pulled your copy of the contract out from under your arm.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought Joel already told you," she said, glancing over at Joel, who dropped his gaze to his shoes. "The partners picked your case pro bono. The firm has to do a certain number each year and Joel suggested to a few of the right people that your case should be considered."

Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped.

"Are you kidding me?" you whispered in shock, trying to fight the tears that were beginning to spring up. You looked at Joel but he averted his gaze before awkwardly clearing his throat.

"It's no big deal-" he began, but you cut him off.

"No, it is a big deal," you told him, and he clamped his mouth shut. Madeline's eyes flicked between the two of you for a moment, watching as you tried and failed to come up with the right words to convey your gratitude.

"The firm is happy to represent you, hun," Madeline said, breaking the silence. "We're gonna make sure this guy gets what's coming to him, understand?"

You tore your eyes away from Joel, who was finding it difficult to look anywhere but the floor.

"Thank you. Thank you so much," you told her, and she smiled before extending her arm towards the door.

As you walked towards the lobby, she was reminding you to expect a call in a few days with an update and to have a list of contacts ready for her, but you just nodded along numbly, barely listening.

Joel had already gone above and beyond by finding you a good lawyer and coming with you for support, but to also convince them to handle your legal fees? He didn't have to do any of this, but he did, and he didn't expect anything in return. Nobody had ever expressed so much concern about you before. And as you walked in silence towards the parking garage, you realized there could only be one explanation. There could only be one reason why he would do so much, and the thought had your heart pounding in your chest.

You drove in silence for a while, the atmosphere in the truck tense. He tried putting music on but you couldn't focus on anything other than everything that happened in the past few hours. Then you started to go back even further: cleaning your apartment and finding you furniture after Patrick vandalized it, walking you home during a rain storm, fixing your fucking sink when you had barely spoken two sentences to him. You rolled your head to the side, watching him as he focused on the freeway, his grip tight around the steering wheel.

"Look at me," you said quietly, and you saw a muscle in his jaw twitch. After too long of a pause, he just said one word.

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm drivin'."

"Bullshit," you said, and watched his throat bob as he swallowed nervously. You continued to stare him down, willing him to look at you, needing to see into his eyes to confirm your suspicion.

"Please, Joel," you finally said, your voice small. You could see the conflict in his face. The way his lips formed a hard line and his brows pinched together as he fought the urge, but once again he found he couldn't say no.

Slowly, he pulled his gaze off the road and forced himself to look at you. Your lips parted as you looked right through him and he knew right then and there he was fucked.

"Pull over," you mumbled, and he just nodded. He could feel the heat of your gaze on him as he took the nearest exit and pulled into a parking lot of what appeared to be an abandoned department store.

He didn't need to ask and you didn't bother to explain.

Once he parked, doing his best to choose a secluded spot, you each ripped off your seatbelts. He reached down to pull the lever below his seat and slid it back as far as it would go and in broad daylight, you climbed over the console to straddle his lap. His hands flew to your hips as you gripped the sides of his face, searching his eyes frantically before your mouth crashed down over his with a moan.

Joel was normally a strong man, but something about you always made him so weak. Weak and selfish and desperate and he wouldn't have it any other way. That's why, even though he knew it was a mistake, he kissed you back. Your tongues tangled together and when your hands slid up to his hair, he was done for. You were too warm and tasted too sweet and felt too fucking good, it was a miracle he came to his senses when your hand dropped down between you to land on his belt and he managed to pull away.

"That's not why I did all this," he said, each of you panting for air. "I didn't do it so I could fuck you."

"I know," you assured him, cupping the back of his neck. "I know why you did it."

He gazed up at you and slowly nodded.

"Reckon it's pretty obvious, huh?" he said softly, toying with the hem of your dress.

You didn't say anything in return. Instead, you lowered your mouth hungrily over his and he happily obliged. And when your hand drifted back down to his belt, he didn't stop you. He couldn't deny it any longer. He tried, he really did, but it was hopeless.

He wouldn't say the words out loud, and you were grateful. Because if he had, you weren't sure you would be able to convince yourself this was a one-time thing. Madeline's disapproving glare was seared into the back of your mind, her comments about Joel's own lawsuit still very much a concern, but when you lowered yourself onto him, each of you groaning your need into each other's mouths as you stretched around him, it all became a distant memory.

"Missed you so much," you mumbled against his skin as your mouth dragged down his jaw. You rolled your hips, slowly at first, but picked up the pace when you remembered you were in the middle of a parking lot and didn't have much time. "You feel so good," you continued, feeling his arms tense around you as he tried to hold himself back. "Think about you all the time. Especially in bed - ah!" you cried out when he began bucking up into you.

"Yeah? You touch yourself when you think about me?" he grunted in your ear, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you nodded. His hands gripped your waist, guiding your movements up and down while his mouth ghosted over your chest, wishing more than ever he could glide his tongue over your nipples, but he was too aware of where you were. He settled for yanking the sleeve of your dress down, exposing your shoulder so his teeth and facial hair could leave little red marks, hidden from view.

"Can't get enough of you, can't fuckin' stay away," he groaned, watching as you circled your hips, greedily chasing your own pleasure. Your arm shot out to the side, seeking leverage against the now foggy window, your fingers leaving telltale streaks as your hand slowly dragged downwards so when he got into his truck the next morning, he would see the ghost of your hand in the early morning dew.

"Joel," you whined, tossing your head back while you began to bounce, your ass accidentally beeping the horn and making you both laugh. Nothing could harm you here. Not when you had each other. Not when you had the feel of his rough hands over your skin and his soft lips against your mouth.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, his arms wrapped around you, holding you close. "C'mon, baby. Want you to feel me tomorrow," he said, lifting his hips up to meet yours, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

You gasped as your body went rigid, a white hot heat ripping through you while your legs began to shake and you whimpered his name over and over. You heard Joel groan and say something, probably a warning he was close, but you couldn't be sure. You nodded and mumbled some encouragement but your mind was still too fuzzy and your ears were practically ringing from the force of your orgasm. But when his teeth sunk into your shoulder, the slight pain snapped you out of it. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you down firmly onto his lap until his body stilled and he grunted into your skin.

You rested your cheek on the top of his head while his face stayed buried in your chest, both of you fighting for air as reality slowly began to sink in.

"Guess I didn't behave myself," he finally said with a chuckle. You grinned and lazily raised your head up so you could look at him.

"I think I'll take the blame for this one," you said before lifting off of him with a little gasp and moving your underwear back in place. You were about to swing your leg back over to your seat when he stopped you.

"Just another minute," he said, his hands mindlessly sliding up and down your thighs, and you draped your arms around his neck.

"We shouldn't do this again," you finally said, breaking the spell. He sighed and nodded but his hands continued to glide up and down your legs.

"I know."

You cupped his face and tilted his chin up to look at you. Your thumbs brushed over his cheeks as you stared into his eyes, still seeing everything he didn't have the courage to say. Leaning down, you pressed a tender kiss against his lips, then rested your foreheads together.

"Thank you, Joel."

"You're welcome, baby."

As promised, a few days later, Madeline's secretary reached out for a list of contacts that could be called upon to support your case. You didn't have many people in your corner, but you gave her your cousin's information back in Philadelphia, an old co-worker who you had partially confided in when the abuse started, a few friends who had noticed bruises but you had made up excuses for them at the time, and you reluctantly gave your mother's information, with the note to discuss with you first before contacting her.

You had hoped Madeline wouldn't want to call on your mother to testify. You hadn't spoken to her since you ran away to Texas, and given the way she responded when you told her what Patrick was doing, you weren't confident she would be a good witness. But it was still someone from your past who you confided in, and that was what Madeline was looking for: a trail of evidence, cries for help, anything to prove the most recent incident was not a one off situation.

"Madeline called me today," you told Joel after picking up his empty plate.

"Oh, yeah?" he asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"She reviewed all the contacts I gave to her secretary and she scheduled another appointment for next week."

"Great, what day?" he asked, pulling out his phone.

"Tuesday," you said, replacing his coffee with a glass of ice water. He glanced up at you and quirked an eyebrow. "You drink too much caffeine," you explained, and he grinned.

"Ah, shit. I have a thing at Sarah's school that day. Lemme see if I can reschedule it-"

"No, go to Sarah's school, I wasn't telling you so you would come with me, I was just... letting you know," you said with a shrug.

"You sure?" he questioned, and you nodded.

"I'm sure. I know how to get there now and I feel comfortable with Madeline. I swear, I'll be fine," you told him. He put his phone down on the counter and thought for a moment before leaning forward and lowering his voice.

"This ain't 'bout what happened last time, is it?"

"No!" you said in surprise, and he looked relieved. "Not at all. I'm just trying to... I don't know, take control of my life, I guess?" He nodded but he still looked confused. "What I mean is, I think it's important I do some things for myself. Not that I don't appreciate-"

"I get it," he said with a chuckle as he stood up from his stool. "You just let me know if you change your mind."

"Okay," you replied with a smile, but stopped him when you realized he hadn't touched his water. You held the glass out to him and he stared at it, then looked at you with a sigh before plucking it from your grip and downing the whole thing in one gulp.

"Happy?"

"Very," you said with a grin, and watched him as he walked towards the front door, stopping briefly to chat with Maria before heading back to work.

Joel shoved his hands into the pockets of his dress pants as he walked back to the station, nodding to a few people along the way. He couldn't stop his gaze from traveling up to the window above the pizza place every time he walked by, smiling to himself when he noticed a new plant in your window.

The bullpen sounded quiet as Joel made his way back to his office. He liked quiet days. That was always a good day, in his book. He sat down in his chair with a huff, the little orange light on his desk phone blinking angrily at him, indicating a voicemail. He picked up the phone and punched in his passcode. He was reaching for a pen when the voice on the other end of the phone made him freeze.

"Joel, it's Maddy. Give me a call back when you get this, it's urgent."

Taglist: @harriedandharassed@merz-8@sarap-77@nandan11@anoverwhelmingdin@fandomscollide@survivingandenduring@honeyedmiller@pedropascalsbbg@southernbe@pedrosfanny@gobaaby-blog-blog @eloquentdreamer @yomiyasxx @mrsparknuts@missladym1981@spacedoutdaydreamer @cosmic006533-blog @prettyinpunk85@maried01 @sunnyskyapplepie @sawymredfox@gobaaby-blog-blog@stevie75@mxtokko@sleepylunarwolf@lizzie-cakes@laurrrra@annieispunk@here4thedilfs @navystandardheatingoilcap @slugz-writes-shit@devilbat@ashleyfilm@scp116@tragerlover@iveseenstrangerthings50 @yvonneeeee @brittmb115@lulawantmula@abbysgirlll@ro-nahime-things@whxtedreams@ashhlsstuff@little-pookie@serenadingtigers@paleidiot@ashy-kit@lizlil@detectivejuliuspepperwood@buckyispunk @fckinel @sarahhxx03 @krispeenuggiez @flippittygibbitts@picketniffler@pedroslittlelady

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atinysunbaby · 3 months

Text

Request from : @ateezluvv

⌛Ateez Maknae line having a crush on you⌛

Hyung line

🖤Choi San🖤

You have been working at KQ for a few months now, as a songwriter and you were assigned a personal space with a desk, computer and everything needed for the process of your job. During the first few weeks, the manager wanted to test your capacities and see how well you work in a group project. He sent you through days of endless work and you managed all the pressure quite well.

Your coworkers helped in making your integration easier by being nice and friendly and you adapted better than you would've expected, and the atmosphere in the workplace is always pleasant. Up till now you've participated in the writing of a few songs and small projects for both ateez and xikers, meeting ateez only briefly during a meeting.

You're first impression is that they are polite and hardworking boys and although you were aware of their beauty, you weren't ready to be hit by such powerful visuals.

Later, you were told about a project coming up and you were proposed to work with San on his solo. You meet for the first time in your studio, San's dimple popping out and greeting you early in the morning and it instantly warms your insides.

"Good morning~ I brought you a coffee, I don't know if that's alright?" He asks, sleep lingering in his voice, you can tell by the deep and raspy tone that makes goosebumps rise on your skin the moment it hits your eardrums. "Oh yes that's perfect! Thank you, really."

Your answer seems to please him, as his teeth make an appearance and his eyes almost close from the strain. He sits next to you on the extra chair you bought a few days beforehand, preparing for this day and maybe future tasks. "Let's begin!"

Now over two weeks working together with San and you can't help but feel a bit sad that the song is almost ready, having spent a lot of alone time with him made you grow attached to the kind hearted and endlessly charming man. "I think we might be done."

Those words hit you harder than you thought, it feels like a train ran you over. You don't like the way your heart aches, but it is what it is. "I enjoyed working with you San, thank you."

He smiles for the nth time, but something's different about this one, it doesn't reach ihs eyes and the dimples aren't as defined. "Yeah, uhm.. me too! I hope we can do this again in the future."

The next few minutes are filled with a tense atmosphere, the only sound heard being the shuffling around as you both clean up and gather your things. "Actually."

You almost jump at the unpredicted sound of his voice, turning your full attention to him and it shocks you to find him fumbling with his lyrics sheets, ears and cheeks red, lips pressing together making his cute dimple face unresistible. "I was wondering if you'd be interested t-to go on a date with.. me?"

You freeze for a second, being surprised and absolutely pleased from the unexpected request. "I'd be happy to, of course San."

💚Song Mingi💚

The boys decided to go out tonight and blow off some steam, drinking and dancing through the night. Mingi wasn't really up for it at first, his perfect night would have consisted of reading mangas or watching animes while eating some snacks before going to bed early, but the others convinced him and he ended up not regretting listening to them.

He's been watching you for a while now, having caught his eye almost immediately after he sat down in one of the booths, telling the others he would start the night by staying back for a bit. Now he has the perfect excuse to analyse every single details about you and he finds you absolutely stunning, you might just be the most beautiful girl he's ever seen.

He notices your smile first, so bright and full of grace, it makes his heart flutter uncontrollably and he loves it. Then his gaze trails over all of your features, your lightly made-up eyes sparkling under the dimmed lights and the way they hold so many emotions at the same time, your adorable button nose that moves whenever you talk and your lips, round and plumpy with a coat of rosy gloss for an even more seducing appearance.

He swears your hair probably smells like heaven and he wants to run his fingers through it, massaging your scalp to feel you relax under is touch. "Yo Mingi! Min- Guys we lost him, poor dude."

Your black lacy bustier, revealing just the right amount of skin to leave more to the imagination, your cropped blazer hugging your frame perfectly, the short leather skirt with a small slit on the left side, tight around your juicy thighs making him lose his mind and cute little boots to contradict the rest of your sexy look.

"What the hell dude, what even is this?" Wooyoung shrieks in disgust, elbowing San in the ribs while watching one of his best friend drooling over some bartender he's never met before. "I don't know, might wanna wake him out of his fantasies though."

"Yeah, that shit's on another level of creepiness." Yeosang states while bitting his nails in concern, his eyebrows scrunched and a judgy stare directed at Mingi. "You troublemakers leave Mingi alone, it looks like he just fell in love."

"Seonghwa. If Mingi wasn't handsome, everybody would find it creepy and don't try to deny it." Seonghwa looks at Yeosang, defeated. "Yeah, maybe you're right."

"Ok enough of this." Yunho grabs his friend by the shoulders and briskly shakes him out of his daze. Said boy looks puzzled for a minute, no clue as to why he's being disturbed. "What?"

"Are you serious? You have no idea why I had to intervene from whatever delusion was going on inside your head, like you haven't been checking that girl out for the last hour?" Mingi instantly flushes red, his thoughts having cut out most of his rationality and he had no idea it had been that long. "Just go talk to her."

"No. I can't." Mingi refuses without a second thought, feeling anxiety creep up inside of him and being powerless against it, his limbs paralyzed with fear. There's nothing he wants more than to run over to you and strike a conversation to hear your most likely angelic voice and be blessed by your beauty up close, but unfortunately for him, his body had another plan. "Hello there~ Did you guys need anything?"

"Oh yes! I think my friend here had something he wanted to ask you?" Said friend being Mingi, is ogling you and seems to have lost all of his brain cells. You're even more perfect than he imagined, your features are enhanced and the aura that surrounds you is enough to enlight his senses. The distance between you both is so short that he can smell your sweet, fruity perfume and it calms his nerves a little bit. "Umm yeah. Hi I'm Mingi."

"Y/N~" You say with a smile, waiting for him to continue with intrigue. With a sudden boost of confidence, Mingi speaks up in hopes to be rewarded for his effort. "You're absolutely gorgeous and seem nice so I'd like to take you out on a date sometime- if you want to of course! Would you mind if I gave you my number?"

❤️Jung Wooyoung❤️

"I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, but I think this step is wrong." Wooyoung speaks up with uncertainty in his voice, it looks like he doesn't want to offend you, which is not the case. You've been teaching him a choreography for a new dance cover and have been at it all day, somehow you're tiredness must have taken control over your body, because you're usually fully focused. "Yeah you're right sorry."

"No that's ok, don't worry about it. Hey do you need a break- or we can stop for the day?" He's genuinely so sweet, you're supposed to be the one taking care of him, but he's taken that part very seriously. Making sure you stay hydrated every once in a while, getting you some snacks in order for you to have enough energy, checking the time to make sure you take breaks over the span of a few hours and whenever there's a slightly sudden movement in the routine, he checks up on you through the mirror, making sure you didn't hurt yourself. "No need, all good- Well, do you want us to stop though?"

You turn around, facing away from your reflexion to look at the boy, only to find his concerned stare already on you, searching for any sign of discomfort through your features. "We can keep going for a bit, but let's finish up soon."

"Alright then, let's start from here." You press play on your phone, the music coming through the speakers and you immediately get to dancing, Wooyoung following suit.

He did notice how exhausted you look and it doesn't help that he 'accidentally' heard the conversation you had with your best friend over the phone while on your lunch pause. You were whispering, but he couldn't help being nosy as usual and found out that you've had a bad recent break up, barely sleeping and eating, your nerves hard to control at times.

For the rest of the day, he felt a foreign sentiment in the pit of his stomach, there's also a familiar anger. One thing he's sure of, it's that he wants to pay a visit to the person who hurt you this badly and do much worse to them. "Wooyoung? Hey, are you ok?"

You wave your hand in front of his face, heart beating rapidly because of fear and worry, he's been standing still for over a minute, eyes fixed on the floor and filled with an emotion you can't quite make out. "Wooyoung!"

You try to step back, as he suddenly grabs your wrist. You seen to have woken him up, out of his weird trance, but you end up almost bringing the both of you on the hard ground as a result. "Shit! Are you alright?"

You can't focus on any word he's saying, the muscular arm that's wrapped around your waist and the feeling of his strong fingers squeezing your hip making you feel a bit dizzy. "Y/N?"

You look up at the soft call of your name, liking the way it came out of his mouth. For the following moment, you just look into each other's eyes, no words needing to be said, until Wooyoung breaks the silence. "Can I kiss you?"

🧡Choi Jongho🧡

"Cut! Jongho you need to look into her eyes, got it?" Jongho nods his head in agreement, saying a soft 'understood' to further show his understanding, but from next to him you can easily make out the faint blush spreading from the tip of his nose, all the way to his ears and the side of his neck.

For this scene, his character has to gaze into your eyes while confessing and keep a confident front, but Jongho keeps failing, not being able to keep eye contact with you for more than a few seconds. "Don't be nervous, just look at me and you'll be fine."

You try reassuring him, ignorant to the fact that you just made him even more of a nervous wreck and no matter how much he wants to be able to calm down from the sound of your voice, he can't. The truth is that he's started to develop the biggest crush on you and it's the first time he can't hide his feelings.

Everybody knows how good of an actor Jongho is, ense the reason why the staff and even you, are pretty surprise at his lack of self-control. "Why don't you guys take a ten minutes break? Maybe, go over a few lines together."

"Thank you!" You bow to the director and grab your co-actor's hand, unconsciously interlacing your fingers and the boy follows without fussing. With no doubts, he cherishes the moment, especially as you're the one who initiated the skin contact. Although he knows there isn't any another motive behind it, other than bringing him with you to a specific destination.

You find a quiet and slightly closed space, in hopes to make him feel more comfortable, but he actually appears to have the opposite reaction. Having for mission to keep a big distance between you two, Jongho almost rams into the wall behind him when you step forward to start a conversation.

His heart aches the moment he has a glimpse of the hurt expression on your face, you're quick to mask it, but it's already too late. You glance at him through your lashes when you hear a deep sigh coming out of him, followed by a nervous laugh with a hint of pain in it.

You watch curiously as he runs his hands over his face and he straight up looks at you without flinching away this time. "I like you. I did for a while now, but it's too much for me to keep hiding my feeling anymore."

"Wow you did it! I knew you could, but you know that's not exactly your line right? You're supposed-" He gasps like a fish out of water, trying to comprehend the situation. Only to painfully realise that you thought this was him acting and he suddenly feels like throwing himself off a building. "N- No wait that's not- I wasn't practicing.."

"Oh.." You immediately shut your rambling mouth, confused more than anything, but eventually, grasping the seriousness in his demeanor and hoping to make the poor guy's life a little easier, you speak up. And he's almost on the verge of imploding at the time your voice rings in his awaiting ears. "Well then, you probably wouldn't mind practicing the kiss scene?"

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futureman · 14 days

Text

his favorite girl, part iii

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: tensions rise as your second lesson continues, but joel still refuses to admit his feelings to you—or himself. you'd concede defeat if you really believed he didn't want you. or if his actions weren't constantly contradicting his words.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, no outbreak, guitar teacher au, age gap (30 years), slow-burn, sexual tension, finger kink, smut, angst, f!masturbation, mild exhibitionism, mentions of guilt & shame

word count: 3.4k

series masterlist | part i | part ii

You have no idea how you're supposed to survive another afternoon with Joel, let alone an entire semester. He's basically Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, hiding under the visage of an unfairly sexy, middle-aged musician, but you never know which one you’re dealing with until he pushes you away or calls you his girl.

Today, he feels like a dangerous combination of both.

After your verbal agreement to keep things professional, yet again, he concedes and finally sits next to you on the couch. Guess that safe distance he was so desperate to maintain is null and void now that he’s made his feelings clear—sort of.

You assume his proximity is an olive branch, but it sure doesn't feel like one. Now, he's close enough to smell his cologne, an earthy, woodsy scent that's so Joel, it makes your head spin. It's also making this lesson infinitely harder to focus on.

You’d never even considered the possibility of him shutting you down this hard, but then again, a hot fling with an older guy wasn’t why you showed up on his doorstep in the first place. If he'd just admit he's interested, maybe things could be different, but he won’t, will he? So, what other option do you have?

You’re not going to throw yourself at him like some pathetic schoolgirl with a crush, even if that’s exactly what you are. You want him to want to touch you, to crave you the way you're sure he does, but right now he wants to teach you chords. Starting with C, apparently.

“We’re gonna try this chord again, alright? Same as last time, nice and slow,” he starts, reaching back to pull something out of his pocket. He presents you with a small, black piece of plastic that looks like a clamp, identical to the one on his guitar. "This here's called a capo. Go ahead and fit it right over the third fret—it’ll raise the key of the guitar. M’thinkin' that'll make things a little easier for ya."

You push your feelings to the side and accept it, following his lead and squeezing it into place before glancing up for his approval. He gives you an encouraging smile and nods, and your heart rate kicks up wildly in your chest.

God, why does his praise feel so good? And why does it feel like it’s been so long since anyone was this patient with you, or genuinely wanted to see you succeed? You realize you want him to keep looking at you like that, regardless of the nature of your relationship.

"S'perfect. Now, your fingers'll go here, here, and here," he arranges his fingers one by one on the three strings that make up the chord and strums. He lets it ring out for a moment, then looks up at you expectantly. "Any of this ringin' a bell from yesterday?"

Vaguely. Mainly, you're remembering how tempting his fingers looked while he was playing, but you'll have to do better than that today. Instead, you focus on mirroring what he showed you.

"Like this?" you ask hesitantly, pressing down on the strings and mimicking his motions. Tough nylon bites into your skin just as painfully as last time, but the sound you produce is pretty. Nothing like the muted, garbled mess from your previous attempt.

You meet his eyes, and they're filled with none of the surprise yours contain. He just looks pleased, like he had total confidence in you even if you didn't.

"Exactly like that. See? You're doin' better already. Must'a done your finger exercises last night like I told ya,” he says proudly, none the wiser.

If only he knew that’s exactly what you spent your night doing. Practically the entire night, if you’re being honest, and to no avail. It might’ve unintentionally improved your dexterity, but you're still stuck on everything that did or didn't happen yesterday. The only lasting result is how unexpectedly conflicted it made you feel. You nod, biting your lip to keep from grimacing.

“Sure did,” you play it off with a laugh. "I wanted to be as prepared as possible."

Prepared for something a little more physical than playing guitar, but that's a moot point now, isn't it?

You sound as fake as you feel, but luckily he’s so eager to continue the lesson, he doesn’t notice. Again, you follow his lead and try your best to ignore your disappointment and bury the residual hurt. You have a sneaking suspicion you're going to be doing a lot of that, but inexplicably, it's getting easier.

You're starting to realize it's not in spite of Joel. It's because of him. In a brief moment of self-indulgence, you let your gaze linger on his rosy cheeks and the newfound serenity in his eyes.

His enthusiasm is infectious, and his love for music radiates like a Texas heatwave, burning hotter with every chord he strums and string he picks. Even his posture is loosening, and the soft smile on his face seems like a permanent fixture.

It's that same warmth from earlier. That intimate connection you felt blooming in your chest from sharing in his joy. Cautiously, you allow yourself to hope, if not for you and Joel, then for your degree. For the goals you have yet to achieve that, regardless of the past 24 hours, still mean everything to you.

"So, what's next?" you ask eagerly.

His eyes light up, and you know you've asked the right question. He shifts across the strings to a new chord, his smile widening as you quickly move to match him.

"Next, we're learnin' F," he grins, nodding toward your finger placement. "Then, I figure we can run through some pickin' patterns if you're up for it.”

"I'm up for anything you are, teach," you reply earnestly, and the smile you give him feels genuine this time. You really do mean it in every sense. "But be gentle with me. It's been a while, if that wasn't obvious."

His smile falters, and something unreadable flashes in his eyes. After a moment, you realize what you said and how it must’ve sounded. You open your mouth to clarify, but before you get the chance, his expression clears. He chuckles, and it's a light, tinkling thing that fills your chest with a heady combination of relief and longing.

Of course, he’d take it in stride. You’re struck again by the resemblance to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, left wondering if you're still imagining things. The subtle twitch of his fingers must be a figment of your imagination, too, or at least that's what you tell yourself. It doesn't matter now, anyway.

"'Course, I will,” he drawls companionably, his words commanding your attention, compelling you to hang on to each one like a lifeline. “Like I said, we'll take it nice and slow. Ease you back into things until you're ready for somethin' harder.”

It takes everything you have not to choke on your spit. Ignore it. Ignore it. Focus on the lesson and how incredible it’s going to feel when you finally finish the song and pass your damn class.

But you can’t. He’s too close, and he smells so good. You’re only human.

"I think I'll surprise you," you retort cheekily. You’re so fucked. "Plus, I like it hard. Just need a little build-up to get me there."

His hand tenses in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it movement, and you can't help the overwhelming feeling of pride pooling in your belly. You've never backed down from a challenge and you're not about to start now. This one is apparently still ongoing.

"Well, all right, then," he says smoothly, and this time when you shiver, he looks pleased. "Let's hear ya strum it, and then we'll work through the rest. Think you can handle that?"

You straighten up, sitting confidently with your fingers poised over the frets, ready to play. As you shift in your seat, your thigh presses firmly into his and sends a rush of heat straight to the pit of your stomach. "Yeah, I can take it.”

He shakes his head with an amused, yet undoubtedly shy smile. You bite your lip coyly, nodding at the sheet music you've just noticed on the rug at his feet.

"Are there more chords in this bar or is it just picking until the next line?"

It's a toss-up whether or not he heard any of what you just asked if his rapt attention on your lips is any indication. You're still teasing your bottom lip with your teeth, and it's not until you laugh that he finally snaps out of it. He shakes his head a little harder as if to shoo away the distraction, before reaching down to inspect the piece of paper.

He concentrates a little too hard on the page, looking but not seeing, so you reach over and point at a confusing string of notes that connect and repeat with seemingly no rhyme or reason. His gaze shifts to your daintily extended index finger, and you're hit with an intense feeling of deja vu, except this time, your roles are reversed.

“Can you show me how that part goes? It looks like gibberish to me, to be totally honest,” you prod him, trying to reel him back in.

As if on autopilot, he quickly discards the sheet and shifts his hands into place, ready to teach like he wasn't just daydreaming about your fingers wrapped around his cock, covered in his release. And if he wasn't, then you sure were.

“Y-yeah, sure thing. That line's just the intro, but the flow is somethin' else. Probably one of my all-time favorites," he says, his endearing mask carefully slotted back into place.

But you're onto him now. Begrudgingly, he tears his eyes away from where you're matching him on your guitar, waiting patiently for his next instructions.

"It really ain't as bad as it looks," he continues. "The timing's purposely a little off, but it's adaptable. This one's real easy to add your own spin to if that's somethin' ya wanna try."

With all of the skill and grace of a practiced musician, he plucks through the line to give you a preview of what was previously only lines and circles on a page. The notes blend seamlessly, a mixture of picking and what you vaguely remember to be hammering, and it evokes something you never expected.

An unidentified emotion takes root and feels startlingly like yearning and hope, carried by the short melody. It's beautiful. He circles back to the beginning, hopping along the frets slowly just for you, and he's beautiful. You watch him, enamored by his fluidity and ease of motion.

For him, all of this is innate. His guitar is a natural extension of himself, something he was born to hold. You used to think you were born for it, too. The reminder is a painful one, but thankfully you're not left to dwell on it for long.

"So, how 'bout it? Ready to give it a try?" Joel's voice cuts through the fog, as honeyed and mellow as the music at his fingertips. You want to hear that voice call you beautiful again and feel him panting against the shell of your ear while he stretches you out around his thick fingers. God, you want.

Yet, your hands move of their own accord and fall into place—it's the C chord. Apparently, you really want that, too.

"Ready, teach," you nod, and you know you must look like a lovesick fool.

Right now, you really don't care because your gorgeous guitar teacher is beaming and excited, and beneath it all, there's still a tinge of something that makes you believe all of this is real. A lust for more simmering just below the surface.

"You have my full attention, promise."

——

The next hour is spent walking through various strumming and picking patterns, and acquainting yourself with the fluctuating tempo. It's tricky, but you're committed. Again and again, you repeat the same bars, following Joel's interjected advice and corrections, and your mistakes become less obvious until they're all but gone completely.

Rewarding doesn't even begin to cover how a successful run feels. Even the pain blooming beneath the reddening indents on your fingertips feels good. Calluses are beginning to roughen the soft skin, but you earned them.

They're yours and yours alone, proof that you worked your ass off and achieved something remarkable. The results speak for themselves, bouncing around the walls of Joel's living room and breathing new life into the space. Your contribution to his little corner of the world.

And Joel looks so damn proud. He stays patient through every flubbed hammer and too-hard pluck, grinning when you complete the section without his guidance. Your lesson's already gone on long past its scheduled time, but neither of you seems to notice. You likely wouldn't bother to mention it even if you did.

Time trickles by like the slow drip of molasses, thick with the sweetest tension, yet the longer you play, the more a familiar ache starts to creep in and make your progression a little more difficult.

Your hand is cramping, and it hurts. You pause mid-strum to shake it out and stretch your fingers, sighing at the brief respite.

"Hurtin' again, huh?"

You huff out a laugh, remembering the last time he asked you that question. The throbbing in your joints would more than welcome another massage from Joel, but you don't exactly trust yourself to come back from that. You have to stay focused until the next line of the song, at the very least.

"It's really not that bad. Guess all those finger exercises are paying off," you joke, but you don't expect him to catch the underlying punchline. "I kinda figured it wouldn't go away overnight, anyway."

You can tell he's thinking about it, too. He nods understandingly, tapping a restless, arrhythmic beat against his guitar.

"S'all part of bein' a guitar player, unfortunately," he agrees, his entire body tense like he’s resisting the urge to reach out and inspect the subtle changes to your delicate skin for himself.

Your mind starts to wander as his tapping changes to slow circles swirled into the wood grain. You can't help but wonder if your new calluses would feel good sliding up and down his cock, if he'd like the coarse hint of pain teasing the ridge or circling the tip. You wonder what his own would feel like pressing into your clit. The skin of his middle and ring fingertips is noticeably rougher than the rest and with a little pressure—fuck.

You're wet. That can't happen. You have to concentrate. But his movements are starting to speed up, and you can almost feel them sliding through your messy heat.

The intrusive thought is thankfully interrupted when he stops the lewd motion and continues his reassurances like it never happened. Why does he keep doing that? It seems so pointless to keep pretending you’re not on the same page, but you’re not about to call him out and scare him off again.

You tell yourself to focus on the pain. Focus on what he’s saying, not what he’s insinuating.

"Pain's a good thing. It means you're stickin' it out and makin' some real progress," he says fondly, and it's almost enough to reclaim your attention. "Says a lot about the kind of person you are, too, what you do with that pain and how you let it shape ya. You're a good one, I can tell. Committed, like I was."

It's so much sweeter than anything you'd expected him to say. It helps.

"Fair enough. Still kinda sucks though," you grumble, but the slight quirk of your lips betrays your tone.

"Yeah, yeah. What happened to likin' it hard?" he asks playfully, and you feel that telltale whoosh between your legs.

You shift uncomfortably, subtly trying to unstick your underwear from where it's cemented to your core, but the unexpected friction makes you flinch. He picks up on it immediately.

"Look, why don't we take a break? I'll grab us some drinks while you rest up, and we can dive back in whenever you're ready," he offers, his voice raspier than before.

"Yeah, that, um...that sounds good. I'm actually gonna run to the bathroom real quick if that's cool," you reply, trying not to sound as flustered as you feel.

It's hot as hell all of a sudden, even though the AC hasn't stopped kicking since you got here, and you have a feeling cold drinks won't be enough to cool you down. He hesitates before nodding, then points down the hall.

"'Course. S'the first door on your left," he says, brows furrowing in concern. You all but speed walk past him to your temporary haven.

Backing into the door the moment it closes behind you, you squeeze your legs together as tightly as you can, but it only makes it worse. The ache is almost unbearable, and you know for a fact that you'll waste the rest of the lesson if you try to go back out there like this.

The entire afternoon has been such a complicated back-and-forth of conflicting feelings and confusion, but you still have no idea what do to about it. You want him to fuck you, but you also want him to teach you. He wants to teach you, but he also wants you in ways he won't admit to you. Or himself.

Your head is cloudier than it's been all day, and your thoughts are a jumbled mess of desire and rationality, both fighting for dominance. So, now what?

There was only one way to clear the fog last night, but you really shouldn't. You're in his bathroom for christ's sake, and he can't be more than 15 feet away, pouring you a glass of lemonade in the kitchen.

You do it, anyway. With one hand shoved down your pants and the other slapped over your mouth, you decide your best course of action is to rub one out in Joel's bathroom to rid yourself of this distraction once and for all. And it feels good.

The moment your sore fingertips press into your clit, your hips buck into your touch and you lose yourself to the friction. You're even wetter than you realized, and your fingers keep slipping from where you need them most, so you change tactics, ramming two of them inside you instead.

So much for resting your hand. Your motions are frantic, bordering on desperate, and you can't bring yourself to stop now that you've started. Wet squelching mingles with your muffled moans and fills the room, noisier than you’ve been all day even after an afternoon of playing guitar.

But you're getting a little too loud. The door rattles on its hinges every time your palm slaps into your heat, and your hand isn't nearly enough to mask your increasing volume the closer you get. Maybe you'll get lucky and he won't hear a thing. Or maybe you'll get really lucky and he'll hear everything.

You're too far gone to care. Just a little more. You can feel yourself starting to squeeze your fingers, and you just need a little bit more—

Then, there's a knock at the door and Joel's voice tentatively filters through.

"Everythin' alright in there?" he asks kindly, but he sounds wrecked.

It's obvious he heard everything, and yet he's still trying to be polite, desperately clinging to his morals and good, Southern manners. Too bad that turns you on.

Not bothering to respond, you keep going, fixated on how vivid a picture your unstifled moans and reckless actions must be painting. You wouldn't be surprised if it's just your imagination again, but you swear you can hear labored breathing and a litany of muttered curses coming from the other side.

He knocks on the door again, harder this time, and you quickly realize that any patience Joel had left is gone. You've finally pushed him past his limit.

"M'givin' you sixty seconds to get back in that livin' room," he grits out roughly. "You're finishin' out here."

The door shakes as he pushes off of it and stomps away, leaving you in palpable silence.

thanks for reading & stay tuned for part iv!

divider by @saradika-graphics

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller angst #joel miller #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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what-even-is-thiss · 7 months

Note

Hey I saw you talk about comprehensible input for Spanish, and you said it was easy and it seems effective. I'm learning German, and I wanna ask what comprehensible input is and how I could do some of that

Comprehensible input means watching or listening to stuff in the language where you understand 90% or more of what’s going on. If you’re reading it’s more like 98%. Early on this usually means either watching stuff for babies or watching stuff made for adult learners if that exists. Watching stuff for adult learners is generally better because it works better if you’re interested in what’s going on. Once easier stuff is too boring for you then you move on to slightly harder stuff etc etc. it’s supposed to take about a thousand hours of good quality input for you to be able to understand native speakers with no issues give or take depending on your native language and the language you’re studying. Right now I’m at like 50-ish hours in Spanish which means I’m watching slightly harder videos that still have a lot of visual cues but it’s not piss easy either. I can also understand most quick things I overhear people say on the street to each other but I don’t really know how to talk yet. My brain hasn’t pieced that part together.

For German specifically resources for this are YouTube channels like Comprehensible German and Natürlich German. And Deutsch Welle’s learn German section of their website has a couple series like Nico’s Weg that follow a similar idea.

The key is to not translate in your head or assign meaning to specific words or try to figure out the grammar when you watch videos or read but just try to understand what’s going on.

Some people supplement this with flash cards strictly doing vocabulary and no grammar. Especially if good comprehensible input resources aren’t available for the language you’re studying. Doing vocabulary drills and watching tv with subtitles in the language you’re learning can also be effective.

Another way to do this if you can’t afford a special class or there’s no good videos available but you do have native speakers on hand who are willing to be a “language parent” for you is for them to sit down with you and only teach you the words for yes and no and then they pick up something like a kids picture book and start pointing at things and slowly explaining it to you and asking you questions like you’re a baby for an hour or two every day. Most people do not have a native speaker on hand willing to do this though. But if you do then this video where a guy documents learning Arabic with this method should give both you and the native speaker an idea of how this works.

If you want resources googling “comprehensible input (language)” should get you started. There’s also a lot of different communities for language learners of different languages or language learning generally on Reddit like r/French, r/Portuguese, r/swahili or r/languagelearning for example. Most of those places have a dedicated page for compiling resources from the community and you can also ask questions to the community and in my experience they’re usually pretty helpful people.

Right now I’m mostly using Dreaming Spanish for Spanish but also other channels like Easy Spanish and Español con Juan. I’m also dabbling a bit in the channels Comprehendible Japanese and Nihongo-Learning for Japanese but Spanish is my main priority right now.

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lovelybrooke · 8 months

Note

I imagine that Athena or Artemis would probably be the first of the gods to notice Zagreus's obsession with the player. Can I request what their dialogue would be like?

Below is how I think all the Gods would react to the player, listed in order of who figures it out the quickest.

Athena:

Of course, the Goddess of Wisdom, would notice her cousin's obsession first. She, and for the most part all of her family, are used to strange and extravagant displays of affections. It doesn't take a genius to figure out Zagreus has been pushing himself harder though the layers of hell and when gracing him with a boon, Athena comes to realize just how deep his obsession truly is.

Her dialogue doesn't directly address you like some of the others, but it's no less strange.

"Dear cousin, do you realize how risky your goal is? Once your father figures out, this won't end well. Regardless, perhaps this might help you in your task."

Artemis

Artemis is the Goddess of the Hunt, and so when Zagreus power and hunger for battle starts to surge, she notices right away. Though, Zagreus is hunting for something deeper, something far away, that not even she can trace. It entices her, and she can't help but grow a small interest in Zagreus's prey.

Her dialogue, like Athena, doesn't directly address the player, but instead Zagreus's obsession.

"Hmm--Zagreus, there is a hunger deep inside of you, I can feel it. It yearns for something greater. Greater than this hell you're trapped in, greater than Olympus, greater than yourself even. Maybe one day, this hunger will be quelled. Until then, here's something to hold you over.

Ares:

Like Artemis, the God of war is able to sense the bloodthirsty urge for battle growing inside Zagreus. At first, he simply believes it's due to his strength growing as he continues his attempts at escaping. It doesn't take him long to realize how deep, how primal, his cousin's urges are. Every time he strikes down an enemy, Ares is able to feel the darkness within Zagreus growing.

Ares is the first character to openly acknowledge the player, though it's subtle compared to some of the later characters.

"Zagreus, cousin. You are aware of this...feeling inside of you, what it is, right? I hope you know that if you choose to pursue this, your father will never approve. I, however, am rather interested in this endeavor and would like to see how it plays out. Here--take this, maybe it will be of use to you.

Hermes

If you ask Hermes, he swears he's been aware of the player the entire time. No one really knows the truth though, as he doesn't divulge information about you often, even to his ever-curious family. Hermes is a trickster by heart, and he takes great pleasure in asking Zagreus question after question about you, most of which Zagreus doesn't answer, for many reasons.

His dialogue is much more concerning, and it's most likely the first time you think there's something seriously wrong with the game.

"Hey coz, you think you're ever gonna reach them, this...person of yours. 'Cuz if you do, I would love to meet them as well! Thinking about it, it might just be easier to get to them myself. You wouldn't like it if I did, would you coz.

Zeus

The God of thunder obviously notices the shift in his children's behavior, though he's one of the later Gods to notice the players presence. This could be because of weak connection the Olympians have to Zagreus down in hell, but he doesn't mind. In fact, Zeus takes more of a supportive father like role when he comes to understand Zagreus's obsession.

His dialogue is strangely paternal, dark undertones seeping through every word.

"Dear Nephew, I have to say, you're proving steadfast in your devotion towards this unknown figure, it's comforting to see you so enamored with someone. I have to say, if you ever do find a way to bring them home, they would be swifty welcomed into Olympus along with you."

Poseidon

The God of the Ocean waste no time providing Zagreus help to get to you. Like his brother, he takes a fatherly outlook on Zagreus and his obsession. He doesn't see a thing wrong with encouraging his nephew's feelings, even if they're less than savory.

Poseidon's dialogue is similar to Zeus's, but heavier handed in its message.

"Come on, little Hades, escaping my brother's domain won't be that easy! You have to work harder than that if you want to reach your beloved. I know your father is probably less than pleased to hear about them, but don't worry, your better uncle will support you. Here--take this, it will surely aid you on your journey!"

Dionysus

The God of wine takes a while to notice the player, whether from his own ineptitude or drunkenness, no one knows. What they do know, is Dionysus loves to talk on and on about the player. Once he first takes notice you, he never shuts up about it. His siblings assume it's a product of drunken ramblings, but they couldn't be more wrong.

Honestly, his dialogue is the most unnerving, since he's talking to you, not Zagreus.

"Hey you. Y'know you don't have to hide behind the prince here, me and my family on Olympus will wholeheartedly except you. Just say the world and will find a way to get to you. Hey--hey! Zagreus, I was just kidding."

Aphrodite

Aphrodite finds out last because she isn't actually related to Zagreus, and so his connection to him is much weaker than the others. She probably finds out when Ares expresses his interest in you. Though when she does finally set her sights on you, she becomes enamored. Not just with you, but with the deep adoration Zagreus feels for you. It's a type of love so raw, that it could bring her to tears.

Her dialogue, like Dionysus, directly addresses the player, and it filled with sweet words that could quickly turn dark,

"Oh, you truly don't realize how enamored the little prince is for you. It's cute, really, sooner or later you're going to have some gods wrapped around your fingers as well if you're not careful. Oh--don't worry little godling, no one is going to take them away from you."

---

A/n: I know I didn't include Demeter, but I couldn't really think of anything for her since I still haven't gotten passed Hades second phase (I know, fake gamer alert). Anyway, I hope the dialogue is convincing, I really enjoy writing it. Please let me know if I forgot anyone.

#yandere x reader #soft yandere #platonic yandere #zagreus hades #hades game #yandere hades #yandere hades game #self aware hades #yandere greek gods #yandere greek mythology

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angels-fantasy · 20 days

Text

Top Secret Fiction Ch. 3

Grass Talks (Literally)

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Description: After meeting the one and only pro hero Dynamight on a dating app, you two begin to see each other. Because of the dangers that come with his hero work, you both promise to be completely honest with each other from the beginning; though you can't help but keep one big secret from him.

You write fan fiction, mostly about him.

Chapter Details: Soft, lowkey ooc Bakugou but thats bc I imagine him to be a lot more mellow as an adult. Little bit of a serious talk, but nothing crazy. Readers quirk is also mentioned

Word Count: 1k

previous chapter

The date had been going well so far, and the sun was even beginning to set since now it was almost 7:00 pm.

You two were currently lying on your backs together, looking up at the sky filled with clouds, stomachs full of yummy food.

"That one looks like a giraffe, or something else with a long neck." You said point up at a cloud.

Bakugou hummed, "Nah, I think it's a flower or something. Don't you see the stem? And there's even petals around it."

Tilting your head at a different angle, you tried to see what he saw.

"I don't see it! I thought I would, since I'm used to seeing flowers all the time..." You said while still looking up in wonder.

Bakugou sat up and rested his elbows on his knees, "That's right. You're a florist ain't you? What made you wanna do that?"

You stayed lying down and answered him, "Yeah, I've been a florist for a few years now. I chose it because of my quirk."

"What is your quirk anyways? Is it something with plants and all that crap?"

"Yep. I can talk to plants, so taking care of them is much easier and I love being able to help others that are struggling with their own plants."

Bakugou rubbed his hand along the grass, "So me doing this... is it hurting the grass?"

You closed your eyes and listened, hearing the grass ask what it was that was rubbing all over them.

"It's not hurting them, but they can feel it."

He pulled his hand away. "What about walking on the grass. Does that hurt 'em?"

"Sometimes it can. If you're walking normally, then no. But if you're stomping all over them, then yes it does hurt them." You said, finally sitting up and facing him.

You leaned over and ran your hand along the top of the grass very lightly, hearing the voice of the grass sigh at the feeling. You learned early on after developing your quirk that most plants actually enjoy being pet, if you can call it that.

"They like it when you do this to them. Just make sure you do it really gently." You said while showing him how to pet the grass.

He followed your directions with a grunt and did the same motion as you.

You laughed lightly, "Petting grass is kind of silly now that I think about it. I guess it's different since I know that the grass likes it."

He shook his head and pulled his hand away, "It's not. I think it's interesting. I have some plants at home, now I'm wonderin' if they're happy with me."

You giggled at that, "I'm sure they are. But thank you. I always felt like my quirk wasn't super useful since I couldn't be a hero, y'know?"

"You don't gotta be a hero to have a useful quirk. Everyone can find a way to use their quirk, trust me."

You smiled softly, "You know what, you're really sweet. You don't portray yourself like that on the media at all."

"I ain't sweet." He said looking away shyly.

"If you say soooo." You cooed.

He smirked lightly and looked at you, "Thanks for uh, being genuine by the way."

You furrowed your eyebrows, "What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be genuine?"

"I mean like, almost everyone I've met just wants to be with me because I'm a hero. It just makes dating a lot harder, I guess."

You frowned at his words. You knew there were people who were out for money, but to play with someone's feelings like that? That was just heartless. You knew Bakugou was a grown man and fully capable of handling himself, but you couldn't help but feel bad.

You place on of your hands on top of his and said, "I understand what you mean, and I want to let you know that I don't have any bad intentions at all."

"I won't lie and say I'm not a fan of you as a hero," You continued, "but right now I'm getting to know you as Bakugou. So I hope you'll continue to allow me to."

Bakugou genuinely smiled. No smirk, or sly remark following it. Just a smile.

"Thanks. That means more than you know. But on that same topic, I also wanted to talk to you about a boundary I have if we're going to continue seeing each other." He said seriously.

You nodded your head and listened attentively.

"Because of my line of work, I just ask that you be honest with me about things. I fuckin' hate liars in general, but I really need you to understand that I can't have someone around if they're gonna be keepin' secrets and shit." He said frowning, almost as if he was thinking of a particular person when speaking about liars.

You nodded and smiled. "I promise, I'll be completely honest with you. I really wanna keep seeing you and if that's all it takes then I'm willing to do it."

He grunted. "Good. Let's clean up now, I'll take you home."

Just as you were about to start cleaning up, your phone went off. You picked it up quickly and saw that it was an email, a notification from the site you write fan fiction on.

You bit your lip and thought about what Bakugou just said. Deciding to ignore the notification, you just continued to clean up.

...

After Bakugou had dropped you off back at home, you quickly changed into your pajamas and got comfortable.

You said goodnight to Cheerios and your plants, who said goodnight back.

When you got in bed, you looked through your emails and at the notifications from HeroFiction.com that you had received earlier.

You began to think about Bakugou's words again.

"I fuckin' hate liars."

You shook your head and tried to rid away any negative thoughts you had. This secret wasn't that big of a deal, and it was probably for the better that he didn't know.

Keeping one secret wouldn't hurt, right?

authors note

i had fun writing this chapter :) i hope you liked it! i also hope you liked softer bakugou here, hehe.

taglist: @doumadono @54fangirl @andysdrafts @dagger-dragger @lovra974 @l4rsun1vrrse @emmab3mma @littlkittenfan @tatiquichi @cloudxluv @seonne @shonen-brainrot @the2ndl @gold24fish @cxp1d @rv19

(those in pink are not able to be tagged unfortunately)

#@angels-fantasy #fanfiction #writers on tumblr #fanfic #anime #bakugou katsuki #my hero academia #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #topsecretfiction #bakugou x you #mha bakugou

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ghouljams · 28 days

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completely and utterly in love with your proffesor!au. What if there was a big conference and dr.love and ghost were stuck together all weekend. like there hotel rooms are next to each other and love is presenting a paper and she's actually nervous for once so ghost has to reassure her. and then that night at the hotel bar he's all jealous when a guy hits on her and they stumble home together. . . <3 <3 <3

And there was only one hotel... Yeah I love having Ghost be a stalker and a hero for Love. He's insane, he's staking his claim and immediately taking it back. They're both delusional.

It's pure circumstance when conference schedules overlap. Usually it's the sort of thing that only happens with close disciplines, but every once in a while someone writes a paper or a book and it gets picked up by the wrong researchers. This happens to Ghost a lot. It's why he took his book out of print. Everyone is so fascinated by death, the damn thing gets picked up by every wannabe philosopher and pretentious literature student with something to prove to their parents. He hates talking at conferences, doesn't even glance over the guest list when he gets the invitation, just checks the city and whether they're paying for his trip.

He just needs a weekend away from Love and her damn- her damn everything. Ever since the ride home, the baby thing, it's impossible to get her out of his mind. It was hard enough when she was just flirting, but now... Ghost is dying. He can't be around that woman when he's imagining a life he's sure she'd balk at. So he goes to the stupid conference, they're paying him to so he may as well take the free trip and see about finding some tail to get his mind off everything.

He notes the pink suitcase set outside the room next to him when he checks into his little hotel room, and only hopes his neighbor isn't noisy. It's really only when he actually checks in with the conference organizers that he notices the other presenters listed. Love's name sits neatly at the top of a talk on ancient pagan marriage rights. Ghost feels his heart race, his blood running hot at the idea of such close quarters for the weekend. He just has to avoid her for three days.

That turns out to be harder than he would have thought. Not only is the woman sleeping next to him(through a wall), but she seems to pop up everywhere. She's even in the front row of his lecture, listening intently and taking notes. It would have been easier if she was just sitting there, why does she have to be so damn interested in his work? It's worse still seeing her at the hotel bar, laughing and chatting away with other anthropologists. Ghost can't stand it. He settles himself at one end of the bar, nestles himself in the corner with his bourbon and watches her.

How can she have such a glow about her? She's got so much energy, smiling and engaging with the people that seem to flock to her like it's nothing. Even at his best Ghost isn't that sort of people person. Watching Love is like watching an entirely different species. She's stunning, drawing all the light in the room, her fingers tight on the rim of her cocktail, shielding it from- hm. Ghost tips his head, narrows his eyes to watch the way her brows twitch, the insincere smile when the man she's talking to slips his hand over her hip. She laughs at something, glances at the bartender with a distant look, Ghost throws the rest of his bourbon back and pushes off the barstool, tugging his mask up.

It's always when the people she actually wants to talk to have gone to bed that Love wonders if she should have turned in early too. Technically it's the hotel bar, but that doesn't stop random people from enjoying the atmosphere. The same way a conference doesn't fill a hotel. There are plenty of random businessmen and families on vacation, and plenty of people hanging around the bar making her life more stressful. Love cringes inwardly at the hand on her hip, and tries to get the bartenders attention to close out. The wannabe American Psycho makes the mistake of leaning closer when she turns her head, whispering in her ear in a way Love is sure he thinks she'll find charming.

Really the feel of his breath on her neck makes her want to punch him. Personal space would be nice. You push the guy away, out of your bubble, open your mouth to tell him to fuck off when you're stopped. Thick fingers curl under your chin, gentle but firm when they turn your head.

"There you are, love," Ghost hums, his eyes crinkling at the edges as he rubs his thumb over your parted lips. Your eyes widen a little in surprise.

"Simon," you say his name like you're not sure how to finish the sentence. Somewhere between the liquor and the way he looks at you, you're starting to feel very warm.

Simon settles his free hand on the bar between you and the pickup artist, leaning his weight, shifting his broad body between the two of you, forcing room for himself. Your hip is released to avoid being clipped by Simon's presence. You scoot back on your stool and his grip drops from your jaw to your thigh. His thick fingers squeeze your leg, digging into the soft flesh like they belong there. You aren't too proud to admit you wish they did. The warmth of Simon's body radiates off of him, the black cloth over his mouth making his eyes stand out. He's pretty like this, looking at you like he could eat you alive, like he'd do it for the rest of his life.

"Is 'e botherin' you sweet'eart?" He asks, and you bite your teeth into your lip at the line, tamping down your smile. You think Simon was going for that, the way he tips his head and squeezes your thigh a little tighter, there's a smile in his eyes.

"We're a little busy here buddy," your nearly forgotten neighbor chimes in. Simon rolls his shoulders, glances back over his shoulder with a glare.

"Now you're not." Simon tells him.

"Says who?" The guy retorts, attempting to lean around Simon to bring you back into his orbit, "Do you know this guy?" He asks you.

"He's-" You start, and Simon cuts you off.

"Says 'er boyfriend, now piss off," Simon turns his attention back to you, your face frozen in shock, "unless you want me to take care of 'im." You shake your head quickly, trying to find the right expression for when the unwanted guest finally takes Simon's advice.

"Listen man-"

"You startin' to piss me off, you know that?" Simon growls, turning to give the man his full attention. There's a clatter as he scrambles off the stool, now faced with the full height and muscle of your favorite philosophy professor. You hook your fingers into one of Simon's belt loops just to keep him from going anywhere, not too eager to see who would swoop in to take over the now vacant chair if he left.

He raises his arm, glancing under it to spot your hold. Simon wraps his hand around yours, pulling it off his belt and settling it on the bar. He turns back to you, covers your hand with his own to hold it against the lacquered wood.

"Thank you," you smile at him, shooing the heat that rises hopeful in your chest at the fake boyfriend bit. Simon's thumb rubs against your wrist, something impassable in his gaze. You look away, try again to flag down the bartender, "Let me by you a drink."

"It's on me," He tells you quickly, his voice low and shivering over your skin, "I'll close you out and walk you back to your room."

"You don't have to do that," You rush to tell him, you're starting to find Simon is too kind for the airs he puts on, too soft hearted for you to be this stuck on him, "I don't think that guy will come back or try anything."

"I don't 'ave to," Simon agrees, raising two fingers and catching the bartender's attention immediately, "I want to."

"Oh," you say, a little dumbly, smiling to yourself, "ok."

"What're boyfriends for?" Simon's eyes crinkle at the edges as he sets his card on the bar. You laugh a little, enjoying the joke even if it makes your heart squeeze just a bit too tight in your chest. Just a joke, you think, a convenient out to get away from a creep.

Ghost hums, his eyes sliding down over Love's body as she twists to finish her drink. Just for tonight. She can be his just for tonight.

#x oc #cod x oc #simon ghost riley #ghost mw2 #simon riley #simon riley x oc #ghost x oc #mw2 ghost #ghost cod #oc: love #professor!ghost #professor au

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not-another-leon-blog · 8 months

Text

Aftermath

DI! Leon Kennedy x Fem!Reader

Summary– How your son (doesn’t) deal with the aftermath of Alcatraz. Word count: 2345 S/n– Son’s name D/n– Daughter’s name A/N: has a slightly heavier focus on Leon and his son, a sequel to Family Matters / Aftermath / Out Together

You were right about one thing following the incident in San Francisco: You and Leon wouldn’t be sleeping alone for a long time. For almost the past month, D/n had practically moved into your bedroom, too scared to sleep alone even with her nightlight. Neither of you minded, though. You’d be more concerned if she never came to you at all.

Which was the case with S/n. Not once had he come crawling into bed between you. He hadn’t even sprawled himself across the foot of the bed like he sometimes did during thunderstorms.

Had it been any other situation, you probably would have commended him for braving through his fears. But you knew all too well how difficult it was to have to deal with the consequences of the viruses and the mutations they brought with them. And with S/n being only eight years old, it had to be harder for him.

“I’m worried about him,” you said to Leon one day. The kids were at school and for once Leon’s vacation days had gone uninterrupted.

He’d been thinking the same thing for a while now. S/n had changed since they came home. He was quiet, reserved. His grades had fallen and he hadn’t shown interest in doing much of anything. He knew they wouldn’t be able to keep the viruses a secret forever, he just never imagined the twins finding out so soon. And in such an intense way.

“I know.” He leaned against the dining table. “He pretends to sleep at night.” It had become almost routine for him to get up at some point in the night to check on S/n. “I’ve tried talking to him, but he won’t listen.”

You saw the droop in his shoulders, the defeated look in his eyes. The both of you were stumped when it came to getting through to your son. Unlike him, D/n was easier to read. She wore her heart on her sleeve and sought out support and help more often than her brother.

Your phone began to ring. As you went to answer, Leon continued to think of ways to get through to his son. Maybe they were trying too hard. Maybe he just needed to wait for S/n to come to them to talk. But S/n was stubborn and Leon knew that despite his youth, he felt like he needed to be the more responsible twin (though he’d been born only a minute before his sister) and that drove him to keep most of his negative thoughts to himself.

“We need to go pick up the twins,” you told him as you hung up the phone.

“Why? What happened?” That surprised him. They’d never been called to pick up either of the twins early from school before. It wasn’t even noon yet.

You sighed. “I don’t know. Something about a fight with a couple other kids.”

Leon slipped on one of his leather jackets and grabbed his keys, gesturing for you to follow him. Together, the two of you drove to the school in silence. There was no use in being upset with them (unless, of course, it was justified). Mostly, you were upset with yourselves.

The day you had told Leon you were pregnant, he was beyond terrified. If Raccoon City had never happened, if these viruses and monsters never existed, maybe he would have been excited. Make no mistake, he adored his children and would go to the ends of the earth for them, but back then the thought of bringing new life into a world like this felt like the scariest thing in the world. And now, in his eyes, he had failed his kids. They’d been thrown right into the face of danger and now had to deal with the trauma of it.

You reached the school and made your way to the front office. D/n and S/n were sitting just outside of the principal’s office. Their hair was a mess and S/n had ripped holes in his jeans. Dirt was smeared on D/n’s cheek and the braid you’d done for her had come loose. They both avoided your eyes.

The principal’s door opened. “Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy?”

“I’m sure both of you are aware that we don’t condone fighting in this school. We have a very strict anti-bullying policy,” the principal started.

“Of course,” you replied. “Though, we would like to know exactly what happened.”

“They were involved in a fight during their lunch hour,” the principal said simply. “The other kids are currently in the nurse's office with busted lips and bloody noses.” The explanation seemed simple enough. But surely there had to be more to it.

“Mind if we get the kids in here?” Leon asked pointedly. He wasn’t satisfied with this version of events. The principal nodded and Leon went back to the door, opening it just enough to usher the twins inside.

“They have no prior behavioral issues,” the principal said, “but given the circumstances, at the very least they will be on a three-day suspension.”

“Let’s hear their side first,” Leon said firmly, folding his arms across his chest.

They were quiet. D/n began picking at her fingers and chewing the inside of her cheek. S/n’s eyes were narrowed and his jaw locked. You knew that look despite how rare it was to see. He was usually such a happy boy but right now, he was angry. Downright furious even.

“They wouldn’t leave D/n alone,” he spat.

“What were they doing to D/n?” Leon asked.

“Pulling her hair. They called her a crybaby.”

You turned back to the principal. “I thought you didn’t tolerate bullying?”

The principal stumbled over his words and went red in the face, trying to find a way out of the corner he’d found himself backed into. “With all due respect, Mrs. Kennedy, if that is indeed what happened, instigating a fight is inexcusable.”

“Is that what happened, D/n?” you asked her. She nodded.

Leon’s own frustration was starting to show. He was done with this conversation. “Let’s go.”

“Mr. Kennedy,” the principal started, “This situation must be addressed.”

“Look, I don’t encourage my kids to fight–” the principal shrunk into his chair, “ – but as I see it, my son was protecting his sister. Had your lunch monitors done their job, maybe we wouldn’t be here.”

The principal was speechless. Leon put a hand on each of the twins’ shoulders and gently nudged them back to the door. You stood and began to follow them. “Thank you for your time, sir.”

The ride home was as silent as the ride to the school. Every now and then Leon glanced at the rearview mirror only to see S/n staring intently out the window. He could only guess at what his son was thinking. Above all, he hoped S/n wasn’t replaying San Francisco over and over in his head. Yet, he knew that was the reason they were here.

S/n was too young to process something like that and Leon will spend the rest of his life regretting the whole thing. But for now, he needed to find a way to help his son cope. He couldn’t have him going around busting lips and breaking noses (even if it was deserved).

As for D/n, Leon had decided to leave her to you for now. Even though she was a daddy’s girl through and through, his attention needed to be on S/n.

“Y/n,” he said as he pulled into the driveway, “go ahead and take D/n inside. I’m gonna have a talk with him.”

You nodded and climbed out of the car, D/n following close behind you.

There was a beat of silence.

“If you’re gonna yell, just do it,” S/n mumbled.

“I’m not gonna yell at you.” Leon turned in his seat. “I understand why you did what you did. But why didn’t you go get a teacher?”

S/n frowned and turned his gaze to his shoes. “I was…”

“But?”

He scoffed and shook his head, his hair falling in front of his eyes. Leon sighed and got out of the car, only to round it and get into the back seat with him. He put a comforting hand on top of his head.

S/n bottom lip began to quiver. His breathing became heavy and he wrapped his arms tight around himself. Leon swore he felt his heart snap in two at the sound of his son’s cry. Tears streamed down his face and his body shook with sobs. Leon unbuckled his seat belt and pulled him into his side, his shirt quickly becoming soaked with tears.

“I can still hear it!” Dylan Blake may be dead, but the damage he left behind would take a long time to heal, if ever. “I see it when I try to sleep!” S/n pressed himself as close to Leon as he could, as if he were trying to sink into him.

“It’s okay, bud,” he said quietly, slowly rocking back and forth. He desperately wanted to take the pain away. To erase the memories, rewrite the past or avoid it altogether. S/n cried harder, holding onto Leon like he was a lifeline.

It felt like hours had passed before S/n began to calm down. His sobs turned to sniffles and the tears slowly came to a stop. His grip on Leon’s shirt never loosened.

“W-why do you do it?” S/n whimpered.

Leon wiped his thumb over S/n’s cheek. “To keep you safe.” He held him just a bit tighter. “I do it so you’ll never have to.”

“B-but what i-if you… never come back?” Finally, S/n looked up at Leon. For that, he wasn’t sure he had an answer. He knew it was a very real possibility that one day he might leave and not come home.

“Don’t you worry about that.” He kissed the top of his head.

“Can’t you q-quit?”

“I wish I could.” It’s what he wants more than anything. He wanted to be home with his family. He wanted to watch them grow up and not have to worry about anything more than them coming home before curfew. If only it was that simple.

He pulled away slightly. “I know you were protecting your sister, but you can’t be fighting in school. Even if they deserve it.” S/n nodded. He hugged him again. “I love you, bud. You don’t have to keep all this to yourself.”

“I love you, too,” S/n replied.

Leon shrugged out of his leather jacket and wrapped it around his son. “Take care of this for me, will ya?”

He slipped his arms into the sleeves. The jacket nearly swallowed him whole. “It’s too big.”

Leon chuckled and ruffled his hair. “You’ll grow into it. Let’s get inside.”

You were starting to get worried by the time Leon and S/n came inside. You’d already managed to get the full story out of D/n and had her washing dishes in the kitchen. Not only had S/n started the fight, she had chosen to take part and help him instead of standing off to the side. At least you could take comfort in the fact that they’d stand by each other no matter what.

S/n waddled in wearing Leon’s jacket and went straight to the dining room table with his backpack, getting right to work on whatever homework needed to be done.

Leon came to stand beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Let’s take them out tomorrow,” he suggested. With the kids out of school for the next few days, it would be a good opportunity for him to bond with them.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Sports park?” It would be a healthy way for them to get out the stress they’d been carrying. “Get them to wack a few out in a batting cage?”

You considered it for a moment. Since coming home from San Francisco the twins had only ever gone from the house to school and back again. They needed a change in scenery. “Sounds like a good idea to me.”

“It’s settled then.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and went to check on S/n while you went to start dinner.

For the first time in a while, there was a sense of peace that almost resembled normalcy. Alcatraz wasn’t at the forefront of your mind as the four of you ate and prepared for bed. Soon you found yourself tucked against Leon’s side in bed. D/n had chosen to sleep in her room tonight, though you were prepared to wake up with her between you in the morning.

The television droned on with some old comedy while you traced random shapes on Leon’s chest. “It looks like you got through to him today,” you said. S/n was noticeably less tense at dinner than he had been these past few days.

“Yeah. Little guy’s got a lot going on in there.” Progress was made and it brought him some relief. S/n had opened up to him just a little bit, and he wouldn’t ask for anything more right now. The door creaked open and S/n peeked inside nervously.

He hesitated before asking, “Can I sleep here tonight?”

The two of you offered him soft smiles. “Sure, sweetie.” You scooted away from Leon to offer him the space in between. S/n nearly jumped into bed with you, almost as if he’d change his mind if he didn’t. Leon switched the television off and reached across to wrap his arm around the both of you.

“Will I ever stop thinking about it?” S/n held your hand tight as he nuzzled against Leon.

Leon kissed the top of his head. Deep down, he knew Alcatraz was something S/n would never truly forget. “One day, it’ll just be a bad dream.”

#di! leon x reader #dad! leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x reader #leon angst #resident evil x reader #resident evil leon #leon kennedy #leon kennedy angst #leon s kennedy #Leon Kennedy #resident evil #leon scott kennedy

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septembercfawkes · 10 months

Text

7 (More) Things I Wish I'd Known as a Beginning Writer

Last time I shared seven things I wish I'd known as a beginning writer. Unsurprisingly, that wasn't an exhaustive list, and I've been thinking about it some more. So, I present to you, seven more things I wish I'd known as a beginning writer. . . .

1. The Central Relationship Needs an Arc and an Actual Plot

Many of us have been told we need a relationship plotline in our stories, but few of us have received any guidance on how to actually do that (unless, of course, you are writing romance).

And in my first novel attempt, back in the day, the central relationship was not romantic. I had an idea for what the relationship was like, but partway through the story, it wasn't working. And it was becoming super annoying.

What I didn't realize was that it was annoying because it was mostly static. Nothing was changing. The characters weren't growing closer together or further apart. Instead of the relationship plotline having "peaks" and "valleys," it was mostly just a straight line.

Of course, I knew it was going to change at the end.

But what I didn't understand was that it still needed a plot through the middle. 🤦‍♀️ Which means it still needed the basics of plot: goal, antagonist, conflict, consequences.

Not just interesting interactions and conversations. Not just banter and pastimes.

In my last post, I mentioned the three basic types of goals: obtain, avoid, maintain.

Well, in relationship plots, this translates into these three basic goals: grow closer to the person (obtain), push further away from the person (avoid), maintain the relationship as is (maintain).

The antagonistic force is whatever gets in the way of that. If your protagonist wants to draw closer to this person, then an antagonistic force should be pushing him away. If he wants to be apart from this person, then the antagonistic force should be pushing him closer. If he wants to maintain the relationship as is, then the antagonistic force is what disrupts that. This creates conflicts and should lead to consequences.

If you have a relationship plotline, it needs an actual plot.

2. Choose a Tentative Theme Early, to Better Shape and Evaluate Your Story

If you've been following me for a while, you probably know I consider these three things to be the triarchy (formerly known as "trinity") of storytelling: character, plot, and theme.

Each of these elements comes out of and influences the others.

This also means you can use each of these to help shape and evaluate the quality of the others.

It's much easier to write a solid story when you understand all three.

If you have only one or two pieces, it's harder to discern which ideas are just okay and which ideas are great. It's harder to discern what does or does not belong in your story.

The best ideas for your story are going to come from and touch each of those three things.

Most beginners are familiar with concepts of characters and plot.

Few know anything about theme.

And fewer still have the desire to learn anything about theme. It's often seen as unimportant or something that "just happens." Okay, sure, it could just happen. Maybe.

But writing your story will (in the long run) be much easier if you at least understand some basics about theme.

I have so much to say on theme, it could probably fill up a book (and maybe someday it will), but for now, if you want more information on it . . . I'd recommend starting with this article: The Secret Ingredients for Writing Theme. It breaks down the key elements of theme, which can give you a good foundation.

Even if your theme ends up changing a bit, starting with an idea in mind will help keep your story on track.

3. Your Story Needs a Counterargument

Remember when I was talking about theme, and implied I wasn't going to go into it that much more? Well . . . I guess I'm going to go into it a little more.

The thematic statement is the argument the story is making about life.

But it's not really an argument if no one is disagreeing.

This means your story needs a counterargument (I call this the "anti-theme").

This counterargument will often manifest within the protagonist (as a "flaw" or misbelief or something the character needs to cast off or overcome) and/or within the main antagonistic force.

It can technically show up in other places and in other ways, but let's keep this basic.

So if your story ultimately shows the audience that it's best to be merciful, then a counterargument for that could be that it's best to enforce justice (Les Mis).

If your story ultimately shows the audience that it's best to ask for, give, and receive help, then a counterargument for that could be that it's best to avoid, withhold, and refuse help and do everything yourself (A Man Called Otto).

If your story ultimately shows the audience that it's best to rely on faith, then a counterargument for that could be that it's best to rely on technology (Star Wars IV: A New Hope).

The two arguments are locked in a "battle" of sorts, similar to how the protagonist and antagonist are, because they are in opposition to one another (see #5 in previous article).

The arguments need to be "shown" more than "told." And the counterargument should be given fair weight, because doing so will actually make the whole theme (and plot and characters) stronger.

Here are some examples to think about:

4. Writing More isn't Enough to Take Your Work to a Professional Level

We are often told that if we want to be great writers, we need to write more. And this is true. To an extent.

I've worked with writers who had been writing for decades, but were still at a beginner level.

I have known writers who bent over backward to meet word count goals, only to end up with a pile of slush they couldn't see their way out of.

I myself have spent enormous amounts of time and words trying to write something brilliant.

But for the vast majority of people, putting in the time and word count isn't enough.

What is the point of clocking in more and more hours and typing more and more words if you don't know how professional-level stories actually work?

Don't get me wrong--you absolutely need to put in time and words, and they absolutely will help you improve! And yes, quantity can improve quality.

But also remember this: You don't know what you don't know.

And if you are practicing imperfectly, that doesn't guarantee that one day it's going to be perfect.

If I have lousy technique every time I go bowling (and frankly, I do), that doesn't guarantee I'm going to get any better if I don't know what I'm doing wrong or how to improve or what good technique looks like--no matter how much time I put in.

This is sadly usually true for writing.

I'm not saying that no one gets to the professional level by only clocking in writing hours, but just that . . . I don't think most of us do. And I think some of us could spend decades clocking in the hours, and really, just be spinning our hamster wheels because we don't know what we don't know--we don't know why professional stories are professional level, so we don't know how to improve.

Hands-on practice is vital.

But so is education.

Sometimes it's actually more beneficial to learn about the craft from someone than to complete your Xth writing sprint to meet your word count goal.

If I could speak to my past self, I would tell beginner me to spend more time studying the craft. In the long run, it would have actually helped me get better easier and much faster than clocking in another hour of writing (that would have ended up in the garbage bin anyway). I've put in a lot of hours that didn't get me very far because I didn't fully understand where I was trying to get, or how.

There is always more you can learn. And especially in the writing world, there is always another perspective to learn what you think you already know. Many writers talk about the same subjects, but come at them from different angles, and learning even those different angles can help you refine your understanding of that subject.

I'm not going to say that tomorrow you have to sign up to take a bunch of courses (though you can if you want), but make time to learn about the craft regularly. You may want to ask yourself: Is it better for me right now to write for an hour or to learn for an hour?

5. Conflict for the Sake of Conflict is Actually Filler--You Need Consequences!

There is an adage in the writing community, which is that story = conflict.

And once again, it's true. To an extent.

But adding a bunch of conflict isn't enough to make a story good.

If the conflict doesn't change anything--if it doesn't have at least the power to change any outcomes, then what is the point? It's just stuff happening.

Who cares if a bomb is going to go off, if no one or nothing significant is in danger of being blown up?

Conflicts need consequences to be meaningful.

It's really the consequences that hook and draw readers into the story. Or at least, the potential consequences. It's potential consequences that make up the stakes in the story.

And they draw the audience in because the audience wants to see if what could happen actually does happen.

Once the audience understands the potential consequences (the stakes), they care about the conflict, because how the conflict is resolved will affect what happens next. The conflict now has significance because it changes the direction of the story, it changes the future.

Consequences also improve the story by strengthening a sense of cause and effect.

As I touched on in my previous post (see #4), random bad things happening is actually less effective (and makes characters less sympathetic). And random good things happening is also less effective (and makes characters less admirable). Instead, it's better if the bad and good things that happen come as a consequence to how a conflict was resolved.

This often happens even at a scene level. Just as nearly every scene should have a goal and antagonist, nearly every scene should have conflict. How that conflict is resolved in that scene should also carry consequences and affect what's going to be happening in the near future of the story (generally speaking).

Consequences also allow the audience to experience tension, which, as counterintuitive as it sounds, can be more effective than outright conflict. Tension is the potential for problems to happen. Conflict is actual problems happening. Tension makes the audience feel suspense. But suspense often only exists because the audience understands the potential consequences (the stakes) in play.

If there are no known consequences, then the conflict often doesn't really matter to the audience, because they can't see how it will change anything significantly.

6. Starting in Medias Res is Actually Harder, not Easier

A lot of beginning writers struggle with beginnings--which makes sense, because they can be very difficult to write.

And so a lot of beginning writers are told to open their stories in medias res, which translates to "in the midst of things." This basically means you open the story up with some form of rising action (conflict)--usually it's that scene's rising action (see #2 in my previous post).

In other words, you are essentially cutting off the scene's setup.

While this can be effective, and while I may be unpopular in my opinion, I don't feel that it makes things easier. In fact, more often than not, I think it's actually harder to start in medias res.

This relates to what we just talked about above in #5.

When we start a scene in medias res, we are starting with conflict, but if the audience doesn't know why the conflict matters, then it won't hold them for very long.

When you cut off the setup of a scene, you now have to find a way to convey who is there, where is "there," what is there, when, and why we care (the why is the stakes).

--all without slowing the pacing.

This is why I think it's often (though not always) more difficult.

Now don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying you can't start in medias res, or that you shouldn't start in medias res.

I'm just saying it's tricky.

Instead, I would personally recommend starting just before the scene's conflict. Start early enough to give the audience context to understand what is about to go down: where and when the scene takes place, who is there, what the goal is, and what the potential consequences are. Make the setup long enough to convey the important stuff, but short enough to stay interesting.

Then get to the scene's conflict, the rising action.

You can read more than you probably want to know about in medias res here.

7. Yes, You Really Need to Do That If You Want to Write at a Professional Level

This last thing is pretty nonspecific, as it's not about one particular piece of writing advice. When I started taking writing seriously and going to conferences and listening to podcasts and what have you, I often felt skeptical of what I heard. Now, sometimes that skepticism served me well (and has led to many of my blog posts), but other times that skepticism held me back. What's the difference?

Being skeptical of "writing rules" has, in the long (long) run, served me well, because it has actually led me to better understand the rules, why they are rules, how they work, and how and when to break them.

But sometimes it wasn't that I was skeptical of the rule itself. It was that I was skeptical that I needed to do X at all. I was skeptical that professionals actually did X.

For example, I would hear about Swain's scene structureand think, Yeah, there is no way most people actually do all this and put all this thought into their scenes.

Or I would run into a breakdown of character arcs and think, Yeah, there is no way most people actually do all these things to write a great character arc.

And in the community, I have brushed up against this same mentality from others. Viewpoint is a popular subject. "Do I really need to be in one character's viewpoint at a time?" or "Is it really that big of a deal that I described the viewpoint character's face?"

And I'm like . . . on the one hand, no, and on the other hand, well yes--if you want to write at a professional level and be competing professionally.

Not that no professional ever varies from that, but just that those are exceptions that prove the point.

And it's not even that every professional is consciously doing X thing. They may be doing it subconsciously. But X thing usually still needs to be there, for the story to sound professional.

So yes, you really do need to do X thing if you want to be writing at a professional level.

If you don't care about writing at a professional level, then obviously you don't have to. It's totally valid to write for a hobby or just for fun.

Now I will echo what I said last time. If I had waited until I understood all these things to start writing, I would have been waiting forever. And some things I would have never properly understood without the actual writing process. Yes, we need to be educated on how stories work, but it's also important to sit down and write.

#writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writing help #writeblr #writing advice #writer #writing reference #writing tip #writing

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