#its been the most wonderful thing finishing my first book in 2020 and continuing to make it better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

celestialarchon · 3 years

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400+ Followers Celebration!

various genshin impact x f!reader

warnings: fluff/crack/NSFW implications, jokes and innuendos. reverse Isekai storyline and a LOT of attention on reader. SPOILERS FOR IN GAME. Archon spoilers!

As much as you tried, connecting and staying in reality was too hard. It was always the same outcome, finding yourself whisked away to another fantasy land through media. Normally your obsessions didn’t last long, but one game had completely sucked you in. Maybe it was the stress of the nightmare year 2020 or maybe it was the fact that Genshin Impact was everything you loved and more, but you couldn’t get enough. It was getting out of hand as even your roommates had began to play because of the way you romanticized the game. Acquiring most of the five star characters, building several strong teams, and finishing almost all the quests in roughly 5 months.

As an insomniac, it was easy to grind through the game until the sun came up. Sometimes you wondered if it was strange that an adult would be so enamored with a game but shrugged it off. It’d been a hellish year, you deserved to treat yourself.

Yet another night spent entirely on the dreamy land of Teyvat. You yawned and stretched as the sun peaked through the blinds and cursed yourself for not noticing the passing time. Removing your head set, you yawned again, feeling a wave of drowsiness wash over you. It was strange, you’d only been up one night and you were already so tired. Your home was quiet, all the roommates sound asleep as you crept into your bed under the covers. The stuffie you adored so much was soon in your arms as you drifted off, wishing to dream of traveling the world of Teyvat.

An extremely loud crashing sound woke you from your deep sleep. Instinctively you shot up, your arm moved on its own aiming for the space around you and swinging quickly and forcefully. Your fist made contact with something and you shrieked as the strange shadow crumpled. You flew out of your bed and away from the safety of your covers, grasping for the light switch.

Your panicked screeches only grew louder as the figure on the floor groaned and stood upright, still fumbling for the lights. Fingertips finally brushed the switch on the wall and you flipped the lights on. The sudden brightness blinded you for a minute and the mystery person as well. It hit you how stupid it was to turn on the lights in your room as soon as your eyes adjusted. Adrenaline was pumping through your veins as you rushed to the door. You could hear heavy footsteps from the other room. Other people were home you needed to get to them.

“Shiiiiit,” The strange person groaned again, “I drank too much.”

The voice was familiar and made you freeze for a moment. Mentally slapping yourself you darted out of your room but ran straight into a wall. Well, that’s what it felt like, but there wasn’t a wall outside your door. The force of the collision knocked you on your ass and you yelped as you hit the floor.

“Oh? What’s this?” The supposed wall turned to look at you, eyebrows arched as he stared down at you.

Your jaw nearly hit the floor as you looked up at the familiar man. That smooth voice, the long hair, the eyepatch. This had to be some sort of weird dream. No matter how hard you tried to move, your body wouldn’t obey. You heard steps from behind you and glanced back to see another Mondstadt troublemaker. A disgruntled anemo archon was slowly approaching you.

“Ehe, fuck, she hit me hard.” Venti giggled nervously.

“Poor thing,” Kaeya held his hand out to you, “Did the mean little twink scare you?”

The room was spinning, so you took the cryo pirate’s hand. Your jaw was probably still on the floor. His grip was strong and cool, it was bringing you back down to the reality of the situation you were in. Oh, the irony. You were not dreaming. Awestruck, you peered behind Kaeya into your living room to see even more Genshin characters just vibing. The esteemed geo archon was drinking from your favorite mug, two troublesome harbingers bickered in the corner of the room, a certain librarian was flipping through your books, both travelers were attempting to learn how to play uno. It was unreal. A pirate was flirting with a silver haired beauty.There was an astrologist examining your fish tank, an alchemist and a child terrorist asleep on your floor, and a fucking adeptus perched on your couch like a gargoyle.

Your roommates were nowhere in sight and your home was crowded by your fictional lovers. The absolute chaos of it all sent you over the edge. High pitched, clearly unstable laughter erupted from you. What else could you do? Cry? That wouldn’t change anything. All eyes shifted to you as you leaned on the wall, clutching your abdomen and giggling like a madwoman. Kaeya shifted away from you, allowing the others to get a good look at you.

Finally composing yourself, you stood up straight and introduced yourself, “Hello, why are you invading my home?”

“Hey girlie! I’m Childe,” The cheery harbinger nearly skipped up to you shaking your hand, “but you can call me daddy.”

Your face reddened at his bold introduction but you clicked your tongue avoiding his eyes.

“Hello, cutie. I’m Lisa.”

“Albedo, and this is Klee.”

“I tend to go by Zhongli.”

“Beidou! The lovely lady by my side is Ningguang.”

“Adeptus Xiao.”

They all introduced themselves so politely, you almost felt bad for acting a bit crazy. However, that feeling was quickly swept away by Kaeya and his sharp tongue.

“Kaeya, but I believe you already know that,” he smirked at you, “May I ask why you aren’t wearing any pants?”

“Oi, what?” You looked down and gasped.

Venti’s drunk ass had sent you into fight and flight mode so you had forgotten all about your night time attire. You were in an oversized Genshin Impact shirt without any pants on. Shoving Venti out of your way, you rushed to your room to dig for pants. Oh, how you wished you hadn’t forgotten about laundry. You hastily grabbed a pair of shorts that really didn’t do much except cover your underwear.

“I have shorts on now. You just can’t tell because of my shirt.” You declared entering the living room.

Some of the more promiscuous characters giggled at your embarrassment while Zhongli facepalmed and the most serious of them all, Scaramouche and Xiao, simply scowled. You sat on the end of your couch furthest from everybody else, nervous. Nobody had answered your earlier question. Apparently your discomfort was lost on the Adeptus Xiao, or he just didn’t care. He was in front of you in a flash, pinching your face and glaring at you.

“Why did you call us here you foolish mortal?” His tone was more annoyed than murderous.

Zhongli slapped Xiao’s hands away from your face and sat down next to you, “Be nice. She doesn’t know either.”

You nodded at this, and the room erupted in murmurs. Zhongli slipped his arm around you, patting your shoulder sympathetically. Lumine tossed the Uno cards down and glided to you, taking strands of your hair into her hands and beginning to play with it. Perhaps it’s because you played as both the travelers but the three of you seemed to silently click. Scaramouche and Childe began to argue again about something silly. Out of the corner of your eye you saw a certain bard and the charming Sir Kaeya raiding your liquor cabinet.

It was too overwhelming to argue. Lumine took her time playing with your hair while the others attempted to figure out how to go back to their own world. Xiao crept closer to you, truly like a cat. Beidou and Ningguang fawned over you and invited you into their relationship several times. You politely declined, knowing they’d have to go back to their world. It was disappointing and a bit frustrating.

Your wish came true but it was too good to be true. Albedo seemed to notice your silence. He gently maneuvered his adorable little sister off of him and approached you. His eyes were filled with curiosity, your silence only made his thoughts wander further.

“Can I experiment on you?” Albedo was blunt.

“Huh?” You blinked, unsure if you heard him correctly.

“I’m not sure if that was brave or stupid,” Childe snickered, “Has he always been this bold?”

“Tch,” Scaramouche rolled his eyes, “Thats a terrible pick up line, mad scientist.”

“Leave my cutie alone!” Lisa yanked Albedo away from you defensively.

The room was filled with protest at Lisa’s words. Zhongli merely sighed and pulled you closer. Venti’s dumb ass was floating around your living room hiccuping. Xiao was wedging himself between you and the arm of the couch. It was insane. Beidou and Ningguang noticed the two Liyue men snuggling up to you and marched over to the three of you.

Ningguang tried to pull you away from them while Beidou aggressively smacked at Xiao. Xiao was hissing at the beautiful captain and Zhongli was attempting to intervene. You shoved them out of your way and stood up, panicked by the attention. Lisa caught you as you tripped over your own feet but landed face first into her chest. She stroked your hair but was interrupted by Albedo grabbing your wrist and mumbling about experiments. The single moment Childe and Scaramouche got along was to pull you from Albedo but it became a quick tug of war over you.

Somehow, Klee was still asleep and Kaeya was just watching all of it go down.

“Cheeeeeeeeers, bitch bitches,” The Knight slurred.

“Enough.” Lumine and Aether both intervened.

Aether held his hand out to you, “You don’t have to pick now, but please say you’ll come with us?”

“You belong in Teyvat,” Lumine smiled at you warmly.

“So,” Aether continued “What do you say, outlander?”

All eyes were on you as the words left Aether’s lips. What would you do?

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sepublic · 3 years

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Happy Birthday to The Owl House!

Honestly, I’m… REALLY shocked to think back on how it’s been a year? It’s been a full, actual year, since that first episode?

I remember when The Owl House was first announced around early 2018. Something about it, the premise, the characters from that one poster we got; It really drew me in, and I kept track of the show’s progress in eager anticipation. Whenever Dana released art of Luz, Eda, and King, I was ecstatic- And when the show was delayed to 2020, I was dismayed.

Then we got our teaser trailer; The opening them, the end credits, even a little sneak peek! I remember speculating a lot about Luz and all of the other new characters we were introduced to, such as Willow, Amity, and Gus- And then we got more and more trailers in the days leading up to the show. I wondered about Luz’s home back on Earth and where her family was, I listened intently to the Hooty and the Parliament music video, finding an almost melancholic, weirdly nostalgic (despite having never watched the show yet) vibe to it- Whilst also avoiding looking at the screen and seeing all of the various clips it offered, because I wanted to be surprised! It was two years of anticipation, two years of wait for this show- I’d never looked forward to a series before like this, last I can recall… So having this content FINALLY come out, seeing these characters in animation, hearing their wonderful voices! My soul was vibing, it was time, it was coming after all this time…!

Eventually I finished Infinity Train Book 2, the same day that The Owl House premiered… I was blindsided when I woke up to the first episode’s release online, in full- I was already planning to wait until later to watch it on television, so having it permanently accessible from the internet was such a pleasant surprise! And the show… The show, man- That premiere caught me off-guard with how much I enjoyed it! I knew I was looking forward to this show, but still…! It blew away my expectations, and even now, has continued to; It was like my personal investment and attention had paid off so patiently well! I even got a DisneyNOW subscription so I could watch each new episode ASAP, the day it premiered, hours before it aired on television!

I remember scouring Tumblr before the show officially premiered, and there was understandably very little- A few pieces of fanart here or there. And when the show DID premiere, for a while there wasn’t really much of a fandom- There was barely anyone, in fact! But I can remember a few notable blogs who have been around since the beginning… Me, I got invested into this show. I found myself really enjoying Lumity as a ship, especially since I resonated with both characters in it; Luz was such a ball of sunshine that brightened my day, and Amity really spoke to me with her more introverted, top-scoring personality. When the show hit its mid-season hiatus, I remember not handling it too well, as I got impatient and frantic in my speculations- I wanted so badly to learn more about these characters, see what happened- Get a look at Emperor Belos (then known as Bellows by the fandom), etc.

I wrote my Bile Coven piece in preparation for Halloween, even got to know a mutual or two over shared theorizing! I kept track of Dana’s updates, and even had people come to my blog, of all places, to send asks! It was and still has been such an engaging part of fandom for me… I recall impatiently waiting for the Owl Pellet shorts and freaking out over them- And when Adventures in the Elements leaked early? I LOST MY MIND, I remember postponing something I was supposed to go to, just so I could watch the episode- And it was so good! Then I started wondering and hoping the rest of Season 1 would come out, and well- It took a while…

And when Season 1B’s trailer came out, I was all over it; Scouring every possible frame, freaking out over the Grom screenshot, and appreciating the influx of new fans! It was amazing to watch The Owl House go from a relatively minor and obscure fandom, to becoming so much more mainstream and populous! I got into Rebecca Rose’s channel, I began writing more meta and posts about the show, as well as little recaps for each new episode. I feel like my blog really took off from here, as I got to interact with more and more people who shared this mutual love of The Owl House, and I was so ecstatic to see more content and buzz about it!

My mind was solely focused on The Owl House, it was one of my huge hyperfixations, even moreso than during Season 1A’s run- I remember being anxious about Enchanting Grom Fright, wondering if we’d get queerbaited… But NO, Amity was in love with Luz! She canonically had a crush on her, a girl in love with another girl- And I loved it because Lumity was a special comfort ship of mine! Then Amity was confirmed lesbian… It was amazing! And I found myself SO invested, so inspired by the show and its characters, and all of the little allusions to things, the foreshadowing, the moments here or there that made so much more sense after a new episode.

This show inspired me creatively- It got me to write some of my personal favorite fanfics, and I was and still am so touched by whatever feedback I get from them! The Owl House really got me to write, to obsess over characters and analyze them, to look at motifs, to think about worldbuilding… It’s been such an artistically enriching experience, both the show and the fandom! I remember despairing so terribly when Agony of a Witch came out, the genuine betrayal I had when Lilith revealed the truth- Because I’d been legitimately endeared to her character beforehand, even formed a sort of ‘trust’ in a sense… And like many others, I agonizingly anticipated the season finale, the much-needed emotional reconciliation!

I remember how the episode titles were revealed, bit by bit, and how I and others speculated on what they’d spell out! I remember when the fandom obsessed over the Witch’s Apprentice game and its relics, for clues and new lore after each episode, the little hints here or there! I was freaked out by characters like Belos, who lived up to my hopes and expectations- First being alluded to by name, then his amazing appearance… And then his voice and mannerisms and everything about him! And when the Season Finale came out…

Well, there was relief. But there was a bittersweet emptiness- That it was over! The first season was over! There was a celebratory triumph, of course- We finally wrapped up the first, major arc of the show, the first batch of episodes that had been worked upon, the whole thing now unveiled and appreciated! But I was a little dismayed because a part of me KNEW a hiatus much longer than the previous one was ahead of me, and I did not handle the mid-season hiatus well. Of course, then Dana had her Reddit AMA, and the charity livestream; Both of which NOURISHED me creatively, and have helped to fill out the wait! To carry out my momentum, to not flounder about in hiatus; I invested myself into more meta, into various posts, etc. I read fanfiction that genuinely floored me, obsessed over fanart, etc.

I supported the show’s release on Disney Plus, ecstatic to get this kind of ready access. I revisited past episodes and characters, looking at them in a new light, appreciating things; Like Luz’s relationship with fantasy… King’s surprising development, all of Eda’s little hints and clues. There’s been an emotional catharsis with these characters for me- And I genuinely feel like I’ve been a lot happier lately because of this show! I’ve met so many other blogs and gotten to know them, seen their ideas and displayed mine as we appreciated one another… I even remember doing another blog’s fanart prompt prior to the show’s release, in preparation!

I feel like The Owl House has genuinely given me a new appreciation for meta, for fandom and analysis… For headcanons, for writing my own stories and contributing my own ideas and speculations, etc.! It’s contributed SO much joy to me as a hyperfixation, and rapidly risen through my blog as my most frequent tag! And even as I explore other fandoms and hyperfixations, both then and now, especially to pass on this crippling hiatus… This show holds a VERY special place in my heart for me. It’s really made me feel for these characters, the love and sadness, the excitement and sense of comfort… Its love and emotions, angst and found family, lore and speculation, it hits so hard to me in a way that other media hasn’t!

It’s provided representation- Such as canonically queer characters, or protagonists who speak so well to the neurodivergent experience for many people! I’ve had delight in seeing people suggest Amity as autistic, when before Season 1B, I lowkey headcanoned and saw her as such- So seeing more evidence for this resonated deeply in my heart! I remember all of the discussion about King as a character, the confusion and talk about whether or not he WAS a King of Demons, when that first announcement in 2018 had made a similar claim… I looked forward to Eda and Lilith’s relationship, speculated on who cursed Eda, and remembered when I’d considered the Blights as a potential culprit! I remember thinking about Hooty, wondering what his deal is- And thinking then and now about that Owl Deity mural in the Owl House! Watching Luz’s development as a character and as a witch, seeing her become more proficient with magic until it finally pays off with her squaring up against Belos, and wounding him- I’d never felt so proud of a character and their progress before!

There’s still so many more questions and mystery, lore… as well as just genuine character interactions, to look forward to! I think The Owl House is one of my favorite shows of all time… It’s deeply touched me as a person and creator, and I genuinely strive to create something even close to this one day. This show has inspired me, made me laugh and cry, compelled me to creatively make content; It’s introduced me to a wider fandom that I genuinely feel like a part of, had me meet other mutuals… It really is something special to me. And while I am eager for Season 2, I also want to appreciate what Dana Terrace and her crew have already established. I love this show’s art style and animation, the designs and overall weirdness of its characters- I love speculating and thinking about them, getting more and more details, and so forth.

If it’s for a better product, I’m fine waiting for Season 2. And honestly, I love what we already have, and I’ve done a lot with so many people. I’ve even looked over supplementary materials and stuff posted by the crew or news articles, in my need for content… And I love every bit of update, art, and/or acknowledgement of the show’s hiatus, and Season 2’s development! There’s so much to look forward to… And there’s so much that I’ve enjoyed, after plenty of anticipation!

Thank you @danaterrace, and everyone who worked on this- For everything. It really is crazy to reflect on this entire year, to realize it’s been a full year since that first episode, since that first premiere that lit up my world like Luz’s light spells; And it feels like such a milestone that we’ve reached! I look forward to what comes next, and I also intend to keep appreciating and cherishing what we’ve already gotten. Here’s to this show’s second year, people- It’s been such a journey to look back on and remember each step, each phase, each particular moment and stage… And I can only imagine what will come next! This show has SUCH a special place in my heart, and has made me feel in so many ways I haven’t before!

Happy Birthday, The Owl House! You’ve earned it!

#the owl house #toh #owl house #the owl house luz #luz noceda #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #the owl house king #lumity #happy birthday #dana terrace #ramblings #nostalgia #meta

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fireheartfaery · 3 years

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As the year comes to a close (thank the gods) I have one group of people to thank for getting me through it: And that's fanfic authors! You guys have saved me every single day this year and I can never thank you enough for it❤️

I started this list in July sometime and it has been steadily growing since then, and I'm sure it will continue to, but I cannot close out this hell-year without thanking these blogs in particular because wow I would not have survived without y'all's works!

@stardustroses Bruna! I discovered your Headcanons first and I fell head over heels in love. I haven't read your gen 2 yet but I promise I will. Thank you for giving us that sweet sweet manorian content we are being so (rudely) denied! And thank you for all the warnette and dramione. Most importantly, thank you for your original WIP. I cannot tell you how much I love your beautiful characters and I hope with all my heart that one day I can hold your book in my hand and know that I read its contents all that time ago and loved it even then.

@ladywitchling Ams! You know I love your writing. You write raw and real and it makes me so sad but heals me so well. Thank you for becoming a friend. Your presence has been a light in the darkness of this year. I will possess your heart is one of the greatest pieces of writing I have ever had the pleasure to read and I cannot tell you how blown away I was! Also Zillah is everything. EVERYTHING

@noodlecatposts Jess! (I hope it's okay to call you that) Firstly I hope you're really really proud of yourself for all you've written and done this year because holy crab cakes you took on a lot of projects. I think I found you because of Noisy Neighbours but I think I only got a few chapters in before I had to call it quits because I cannot handle angst until I know I'm going to get fluff resolution and that did not come for a hot minute👀(I will catch up on NN that's a promise to myself) but obviously I stalked your account because I love your writing style and I found so many beautiful fics! Also I just need to tell you that this one particular ask (and your response to it) will pop into my head randomly and I will die laughing! It was around 20 chapters into NN and the asker said something along the lines of "In another 20 chapters will see rowaelin doing [cannot remember]" and your response was roughly "Oh God I don't think I can write 20 more chapters" and now I think NN is on 60 chapters? That interaction just makes me laugh all the time, and especially when I see a new chapter is up. When you started Kingsflame I knew it'd be my favourite by far. That fic has a special place in my heart and I think about it on the regular.

@sassyhobbits your One Night Standards fic is b r i l l i a n t. I haven't finished it yet but please know that Princess Aelin and Prince Rowan own all the parts of my heart and I loved their characterizations so much! That scene where they go out into the city all disguised and then they have greasy burgers at the diner is so soft and I think about it constantly! Also the one where they had to stage that picnic and the little girl came up to Aelin? Freaking adorable. I adore how badass and wonderful Lysandra is as well! THANK YOU!

@charincharge your Cruel Summer fic was!!! Mind blowing. I loved everything about it and when it ended all I wanted to do was dive back into the world and read about rowaelin having theme park adventures. Thank you thank you thank you for creating that beautiful AU!

@simping4bookboisngrls Cass! The minute you interacted with my crackships post I knew I'd adore you forever!! Your Everybody Talks fic lives rent free in my mind and I love love love every relationship (platonic and romantic) you've created! Also getting to interact with you has been one of the best things about my year so thank you for brightening my dash! (and my life)

Special Mentions:

@tacmc @snelbz Your "Swipe Left" one (two?) shot fic was SOOOOOO freaking cute!!! Everything about it! I love the collaborations you guys do.

@ourlovelybones your manorian fic hello princeling, hello witchling yea I love it and it's so cute and you providing us with the manorian content we deserve? QUEEN! thank you

@highqueenofelfhame I think I've read your writing in pieces here and there and I loved it all but my fave thing is "Sleight of Hand"! That fic gave me so much happy thank you

@rhysanoodle finding you quinlar one shot after reading the blue-balls that was CC was like finding water in the flipping desert!! You are a life saver thank you

@westofmoon your "12 17 days of Rowaelin" was *all the heart eyes* and I think I had like 6 strokes from the cuteness alone!

@darklesmylove your perspective fics where you write about things that could have happened are wonderful!! Specifically "intentions" and "the stars pale" I just loved them so much! I always need me some rowaelin

@starseternalnighttriumphant your kinktober obliterated me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED ALL OF IT SO MUCH. Thank you for spoiling us. Also your daddy!Rowan AU is g e n i u s

@dawninlatin Queen of Peace is one of my fave manorian AUs of all time and I love that they're just blushing idiots who don't know what going on and need to be pushed together in order to realize they're perfect for each other!! Also Manon rebelling against her grandmother is the greatest thing to ever happen. And Asterin continues to be iconic in any universe

@empress-ofbloodshed THANK YOU FOR THE ROWCAN! I didn't expect it to be such a big part of my year but it has made all the difference in the world! Your roommates AU is the cutest ever

@rhysand-vs-fenrys YOUR CAZRIEL???? Unreal. Unbelievable. Show stopping. You made my cazriel binge that much better and I love you for it!

@nalgenewhore thank you for the rowcan content!! Between you and @empress-ofbloodshed my 2020 has brought only the best crackship! Also I love Kohana!!!! Like I would die for him

@sacksvilles I will never ever be over the perfection that is Nezriel and I want to live in the universe where they're canon instead of nessian!! Thank you for creating the nezriel monster that is me. Also your fic "Illyrian Oral Lessons" is perfection and nothing less!

#I bloody love fanfic authors #SJM fanfic authors #SJM #Fanfic authors #Fanfictions #Authors #Ciara's Convos #Appreciation post

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prurientpuddlejumper · 4 years

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A New Arrangement [Part 6/9][NSFW]

K!nktober 2020 Kink Bingo!: Voyeurism

<- Part 5 | Part 7 ->

Summary: Dr. Chilton does not want your weekly in-home visits to come to an end, so he proposes hiring you for a different service.

(For @thatesqcrush‘s kink bingo. If you’re just here for Kinktober smut, feel free to start with this chapter! It should have all the exposition necessary.)

Frederick Chilton x Female Reader

3,389 words

The sturdy rectangular gray headboard supported your weight, along with a mountain of soft eider-down pillows, as you sat back against it. One hand typed financial figures into a laptop. The other gently ran its fingers through the thick hair of the head resting in your lap.

This had all started as a fairly standard work arrangement.

Frederick Chilton had been through several near-death experiences, and had reached out to your agency to ensure his affairs were in order. You handled end-of-life arrangements: advanced directives, living wills, estate planning, funerals—your business was the one-stop-shop for a worry-free death.

He was only recently out of the hospital since being severely burned over ninety percent of his body, and was shy about it. He was also wealthy enough to cloister himself away from the world. And so you had been visiting him at his home for the past few weeks to conduct business.

Your fingers stopped their lazy crawl through his hair, and he let out a soft whine. Clearing your throat, you pointed out something on the screen that required his attention, and he pushed himself off your lap with a disappointed groan. Once he managed to get into a sufficiently upright sitting position against the headboard, he settled back into you, leaning against your shoulder. He idly laid his hand on your leg, and you covered it with your own, stroking the scarred skin with your thumb.

Because he was so frequently exhausted, you had gotten into the habit of… well, cuddling. Platonically. Professionally. Eventually you grew so comfortable together that you started working from his bed, where he could fall asleep if he needed and not have to drag himself from the study (a short but insurmountable distance when one is in great pain and too tired to even sit up).

It felt nice to be so close with someone, even if you were never allowed to see his face.

As relaxed as you had grown together, he was always covered completely from head to toe. The only indication to the extent of his burns was the scarring that peeked underneath the white chin of his mask, covered his throat, dipped below the collar of his dress shirt, and covered his hands like a gnarled glove.

You closed down your computer after he had finished reviewing and signing all of the necessary digital forms you needed for that day.

Not just for that day, in fact. Those were the last ones. That was it. His end-of-life planning was complete. You could only hope he wouldn’t need it for a long time. The thought of him in a hospital on life support sent an uncontrollable pang through your heart.

Extricating yourself from his clinging limbs, you swung your legs over the side of the bed and packed the laptop in a messenger bag. His hand chased after you, gingerly grasping your hand. A soft, familiar gesture, silently pleading you to stay.

“It’s been a pleasure working with you, Mr. Chilton.” You gave a coy smile. “Sorry. Doctor.”

His pretty eyes narrowed inside the mask, and his shoulders heaved with a short breath of laughter. He had corrected you so harshly the first day that you were sure he was going to cancel your services then and there. He had only been kind to you since. Particular, but kind. “It’s a shame this is our last meeting,” you sighed, and you meant it.

You were going to miss him. He was an unusual client, and you enjoyed getting to know him.

“It does not have to be the last,” he blurted, desperation tinging his muffled voice. “I could continue paying for your time.”

You cocked your head. “Everything is set up. The only thing we’re waiting on is confirmation from the—”

“I could pay you for… other services.” His thumb brushed sensuously over your wrist.

Oh. Oh.

Your eyes widened and you felt a shameful twitch between your thighs. You tried to hold your composure but your cheeks were burning and your face revealed every sinful thought whirling through your mind.

“I do not mean anything untoward,” he said quickly. “Nothing you do not wish to do. I enjoy your company and would like to keep it, that is all.”

Nothing untoward? You deflated. Something untoward happening had been a thought you’d been pushing down into a box with a tight lid for weeks now, and the moment he said that—the millisecond you thought he might want you that way—the lid sprang off like a pressurized cannon, and it would take ages to gather up all the licentious images scattered in your mind and contain them again. But he just wanted company. Any company. Even some random accountant.

A new wave of sympathy welled up in your chest. “You really don’t have anybody, do you?”

He let go your wrist quite suddenly to cross his arms over his chest, and his placid mask turned away sharply. Underneath the expressionless porcelain, you had a feeling the prickly psychiatrist was anything but calm.

“You believe I am lonely?” he scoffed. “My last book topped the New York Times Best Seller list. If I wish for company I can have it. I was merely being sentimental, as I have grown accustomed to you and find you tolerable. It seemed simpler than finding somebody new if we continued with… another arrangement.”

The shyness with which he said arrangement, pronouncing it with stretched syllables to give it weight, made you certain he did intend something untoward until he misread your look of surprise as rejection.

What you should have said was there was no need to pay you to spend time with him—that you were happy enough to do that on your own. That you found it surprising how a man so charming and cuddly could believe he needed to pay for anyone’s company. But the idea of being paid for “services” titillated you, sending an electric jolt straight to your core.

So instead you said, “All right.”

The mask swung back to face you. “All right?”

“What kind of arrangement do you have in mind?” you purred, crawling back onto the bed toward him.

He swallowed sharply. The strip of exposed neck beneath the mask’s chin was red and had the texture of kneaded bread dough, but the bob of his Adam’s apple was pronounced enough for you to see his undisguised arousal.

Since you had been sitting close to each other near the edge of the bed, you were almost immediately on top of him, smoothing the silky fabric of his shirt down his chest. He smelled of spices and a hint of something clean and floral. “Well?” you pouted expectantly. His muscles were stiff as rocks. All you could see through the mask were two pale eyes the color of autumn moss staring in panic from a white sea of sclera.

“I didn’t necessarily mean… i-if you don’t want to…” he stammered, words losing their controlled diction. Apparently he had not anticipated you agreeing so readily, but a stirring in the front of his slacks suggested this was precisely the outcome he had hoped for. You took a chance and ran your palm over the growing bulge, and were rewarded with a gasp, his fingers clenching the sheets. “Yes, that—that is wonderful. Keep going,” he croaked.

He shifted, opening his legs to give you better access, and you turned so your thigh rested over his, skirt riding up, as you rubbed him through his pants. His hands wandered over your hips and back, muscular arms pulling you in closer. Seeking more contact, you buried your face against the kneaded skin his neck where you could feel warm puffs of breath escaping from the sides of the mask. You wondered if he would take it off, now that you were being intimate. Part of you hoped he wouldn’t. The anonymity added to the thrill, to the wrongness of what you were doing. You agreed to let a man you’d never even seen have his way with you for money.

His breath grew ragged as his cock hardened, lengthening under your palm. His hands withdrew from their exploration of your body to clumsily unbutton his slacks, which were tenting under the strain of his growing erection. It sprang free and he stroked himself a few times, but your hand was right there to take over the job. His muscles tensed, prepared to flinch away when you released him in disgust, but you bit your lip, lids fluttering closed as you tried and failed to hold in a lewd noise of pleasure.

He stared at you like you were the most incredible thing he had ever seen. Then he let out a breathy moan, head falling back against the headboard. “You are… quite eager,” he teased.

“I’ve been waiting a long time.”

He wondered if that was true, or if it was just something you said, but he let himself be excited by it anyway, pretending you wanted him.

His cock felt incredible in your hand—heavy, throbbingly hot, like holding a heartbeat, and textured with a mesh of grafts and thin, stiff ridges of surgical scars zigzagging down the shaft to allow it to expand to its full, exquisite length. You wondered if you were the first person he’d been with since his burn, and a weight of importance settled onto your shoulders.

“Am I doing all right?” you whispered, trying to gauge his reaction from an unforthcoming mask. “Tell me what you want.”

“Take off all of your clothing,” he said thickly. “All of it.”

You tugged at your shirt, in a hurry to obey, but he stopped you, and had you get up and stand beside the bed where he could see all of you.

He wanted to watch.

The cold white mask was unreadable, even Chilton’s green eyes disappearing into the shadows, as you began unbuttoning your blouse.

“The skirt first,” he instructed. Your heart skipped a beat. Self-consciously, fingers trembling at the clasp, you zipped down the skirt, letting it fall to the floor in a puddle around your ankles. You looked to him for approval.

His cock was in his hand and he was stroking himself slowly as he called out the next article of clothing for you to remove. It made the hair on the back of your neck stand up, and your cunt drip with anticipation. A wealthy eccentric who had essentially bought you was sitting there in control while you were exposed and vulnerable, not showing any emotion but clearly getting off to you.

Trembling breath shuddered in his throat, strained. As he allowed you to undo your blouse, button by button, his pace built urgency, hand beating up and down in his lap. You could imagine how his face looked beneath that calm mask—how clouded with lust, helpless and falling apart.

God, you wanted to see him. But not knowing was such a turn-on.

At last he guided you to slip off your panties, and you stood naked before him. He stopped stroking himself.

“Come here,” he beckoned with his finger.

You climbed onto the bed, skin prickling with goosebumps, and settled yourself next to him in a familiar cuddling position. His arm easily snaked around your back, supporting and drawing you closer.

“How are you doing?” he asked, ducking his mask close to whisper like it was a secret.

“Nervous,” you admitted, whispering back.

His fingers circled your wrist, calloused with scars but the fingernails polished and manicured, and press into the soft underside. “Your pulse is racing,” he said as if you were a patient. “We can stop.”

The needy whine in your throat cleared up any uncertainty before you could form words. “I don’t want to stop. If you need to stop, we can. But I…” your eyes drifted unconsciously to his cock, thick and covered in distinctive surgical details, and you sucked your lower lip between your teeth. You wondered how he would feel sliding into your entrance.

Pressing your shoulders, he began by having you lie on your back on top of the blankets, exposed for him. Then he asked you to spread your legs so he could kneel between them. You thought he was going to fuck you, but he just hovered above you, watching.

He had taken off his suit jacket before getting into bed, but the end of his blue-patterned tie dangled dangerously above his stiff cock, which emerged from the opening in his dark slacks. He was very well dressed, only revealing what little flesh was necessary. He loosened the knot around his neck, and pulled it off, tossing it haphazardly aside.

Soft green eyes bored into you from their protected porcelain fortress, heating your skin like a fire as they took in the curves and dips and perfect imperfections of your body.

Finally he moved.

Bracing himself on one arm, he leaned above you, hand roving intimately over the same curves of your body his eyes had just navigated. You were so worked up already, your back arched and you moaned the moment he made contact with your skin. You were ready, writhing and straining for him to fuck you, but he only touched you.

He didn’t rush for the obvious areas you expected, but took his time. Instead of going directly for your tits, he caressed the length of your collarbone delicately with just his thumb and two fingers. Then he dipped lower, and you sucked an expectant breath, but he drew a line down your sternum, between your breasts, and splayed his scarred fingers out over the soft of your belly.

You were so ready to explode from anticipation, even the slightest graze of his fingertips sent sparks tickling across your skin wherever they went. You thought about him touching himself while he watched you strip.

It was so hard to know what he was thinking. The mask removed facial expression from the equation, and when he went silent for so long like this, you trembled with how blindfolded you felt, just focusing on his touch..

He traced one finger delicately down your arm, ghosting just over the skin in a wandering, unhurried path that raised a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

The pink head of his cock glistened with precum, waiting just as anxiously as you to bury itself inside you. You wanted to take control, grasp it, and plunge him between your thighs, but you didn’t want to spook him. If this was the first time he was intimate with someone since being scarred, it was a big step. You didn’t mind him taking his time. You were hypnotized by his delicate touches, every inch of your skin vibrating like the air during a lightning storm.

Leaning down closer, he curled his fingers around your neck. You gasped as the throbbing weight of his erection pressed into your stomach—but he was only studying your face. Still, he was much closer now, the heat of his body inches from yours, and being able to feel his cock was almost too much. You reached up to wrap your arm around his back, pulling him even harder against you.

God you were beautiful. And sweet, and intelligent. He wanted to keep you. Maybe it was just how tender he was from his latest life-altering trauma, but he had never wanted anything quite as much as he wanted you.

Your skin was warm and smooth, so unlike his, but you did not mind—or you were skilled at concealing your distaste. He observed with pleasure how you shuddered and sighed and leaned into his touch. How you gasped and moaned and wanted him. It was just for the money, of course. He knew that. Wealth could buy all kinds of love from the sort of person with the proper priorities—though he had not expected you to be one of them. It was a desperate final effort to make you stay. But some surprises were good ones.

He trailed his fingertips along your jaw, over your cheek. You whined as his fingers brushed across your lips, and you parted them, tasting a salty pad with the tip of your tongue. You felt his cock jerk against your stomach. So you licked him again, satisfied to achieve the same reaction, as well as pull a low whimper from deep in the back of his throat. His fingers curled around your chin, thumb still teasing the tender inner flesh of your lower lip, letting your tongue draw him in deeper, pinching the manicured digit between your teeth, and finally sucking on it, pretending it was his exquisite cock in your mouth.

It drove him crazy. With every swirl of your tongue, his cock twitched and grew harder, and a strangled sob would force its way shaking out of him. The contrast between the impassive mask and the lustful noises muffled within its porcelain shell sent a jolt of pleasure straight to your core, and you rocked your hips against his pant leg. He lowered himself to your ear and nuzzled your neck. His noises were even louder, intensifying your greed for him. Your hand snaked its way up to the back of his head, fingers gripping his hair, and tugged his head down.

He stiffened, every muscle going rigid. Grunting disapprovingly, he knocked your hand away, but to your gasping delight, continued to drag the mask down your body.

He felt sick deceiving you. No matter how much money he had to offer, you would never agree to be with him if you knew what was under the mask. He couldn’t risk you tugging at it. It was terrifying and confusing enough that you were touching him at all—the incredible, gorgeous way your body moved beneath him—and if you knew, you would be gone. It would all go away. This dream would end as a nightmare. He felt awful, but unbridled lust overwhelmed every bit of logic and tenuous scrap of decency he had. He deserved something good, just this once. He was going to make you scream for him in pleasure, not horror.

Hard, expressionless porcelain traveled down your soft skin, its cold lips following the swell of your breast. It brushed your nipple, and you arched your back, moaning around the thumb in your mouth. Your body started shaking with so many sensations—the cold smooth porcelain rolling your hardening peak under its sculpted ridges, his cock pressing into you, and his warm, rough, salty thumb, dripping with saliva as you took out your frustrations on it, swirling your tongue over the pad, bobbing your head, hoping to drive him mad enough to fuck you already.

His movements were jerkier and less patient, you noticed—he was falling apart, too.

He continued moving lower, his thumb escaping your mouth with a wet pop and trailing down your chin as the mask’s pointed nose traced a ticklish path over your stomach, and down, between your thighs. The mask’s nose just barely grazed your clit, but you were so ready for release it made you whimper loudly and grab at his hair, almost coming just from one touch. You wanted to push his head between your legs and let you grind your swollen clit against that nose until you broke, but he brushed your hand off again and you relented. You had an unspoken language built on weeks of cuddling—He was sensitive about certain things. He set a boundary and you knew not to push it.

Though he didn’t let you ride his mask, he stayed between your legs. He pressed the broad flat of his palms against your outer thighs as he deeply breathed in your scent, and you shuddered at the lewd act. He let out the breath with a long, intoxicated sigh.

“P-please,” you whimpered, knowing just how pathetic you sounded. “Please fuck me.” Every muscle in your body was on fire from this agonizingly slow foreplay, straining for some kind of release. A satisfied chuckle rumbled deep in his chest.

“So impatient,” he teased, voice low and soft. “I want to savor every second. Every inch of you.”

You swallowed hungrily.

#frederick chilton #Frederick Chilton x reader #Hannibal #raul esparza #Kinktober #female reader #thatesqcrush kink bingo #my writing

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girlwithshipsshitshow · 3 years

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Part 17

(Misaki tilted his head back, while the older boy deepen the kiss. The two cuddled on the couch, Greys Anatomy played in the background, somehow during their binge watch things became heated. Misaki wrapped his arm around Usagi’s neck.)

Usagi: (While kissing the younger boy) Is that comfortable?

Misaki: (Nodding) Yeah. (He softy answered, pressing harder into Usagi. He didn’t bother turning around to face the older boy, their legs were intertwined, he loved the feeling, and didn’t want to mess it up).

(Suddenly, their front door burst opened, the two quickly pulled apart. Eri staggered in dropping papers and her bag at the door).

Eri: I need a break, Akihiko I just finished one book out of four. (she grinned sitting on the couch across from them). Oh, was I interrupting?

Misaki: Kinda!

Usagi: I'm going to need my key back! (he reached his hand out).

Eri: Wait! seriously?!

Usagi: Seriously!, you can’t just come over like this anymore! we’re engaged now. we want our privacy!

Eri: But what about your promise?

Usagi: (rolling eyes), you can get the key back when I sell you the house, but that won’t be for a while.

Eri: Fine. (places key in Usagi’s hand), When are you going to look at the place where you want your house to be anyway?

Misaki: (Scratches his head), Um tomorrow I think, why?

Eri: Can I go?

Usagi: I guess, but don’t you have other stuff you need to do?

Eri: I need to turn in one of your books to the company, but I can do that over email. I still have the other three I need to work on but I can do that later.

Usagi: Eri, (Usagi steepled his fingers together against his face), why are you here?

Misaki: Usagi, that was rude.

Usagi: It’s my house!

Misaki: She could be in trouble!

Eri: I’m not in trouble, Rose is working a double, she won’t be home until tomorrow night, and I’m lonely, so can I hang out here until she’s done with work? I won’t be in the way.

(Usagi sighed he glanced at Misaki, the younger boy gave a small smile, he already knew what Misaki’s answer would be).

Usagi: Sure Eri. You can take Misak’s old room.

Eri: Thanks. (stands up, walks to front door to collect her stuff, starts up the stairs to Misaki’s old room, Usagi following).

Usagi: Don’t make this a habit.

Eri: What makes you think I will?

Usagi: Because I know you.

Eri: (Opens the bedroom door, setting things down at the desk). What do you think I should do?

Usagi: Ask to move in?

Eri: It’s too soon!

Usagi: Misaki and I were living together before we were really dating.

Eri: Misaki didn’t have a choice did he?

Usagi:(Grins, wiggles ring finger) It all worked out though!

Eri: I know, and I am so happy for you guys, but I don’t think I’m ready to live with her yet.

Usagi: That’s okay. We should probably head back downstairs though.

Eri: right.

Misaki: Guys, I was thinking... You know how Eri’s been trying to set up interviews so Usagi can come out and we can talk about our engagement?

(Eri and Usagi were walking down the stairs, Usagi sat on the couch beside Misaki, he threw is arm around him, pulling him towards his chest, Eri sat across from them on the other couch).

Eri: Yeah, I’m still trying to work on the by the way.

Misaki: I don’t think you should worry about that.

Usagi: what do you mean?

Misaki: Well it’s 2020, most people come out over social media, and you set up and Instagram account when you were in the hospital, why don’t you come out over a live?

Usagi: You mean now?

Misaki: It doesn’t have to be now.

Usagi: I think it should be, I don’t want to tell anyone about us yet though, that should wait until after graduation.

Misaki: Why?

Usagi: Your graduation needs to be about you, not our relationship.

Misaki: Right.

Eri: Okay, you should probably look better before you do the live though.

Usagi: What’s wrong with how I look?

Eri: You’re in sweats.

Usagi: They’re comfortable. it’s not like anything else is easy to get into right now anyway.

Eri: At least brush your hair.

Misaki: He doesn’t have too. (Runs his hands through Usagi’s hair), He’s perfect.

Usagi: (Grins placing a kiss on Misaki’s face). Love you.

Misaki: I love you too. I’m going to go start dinner, so i’ll be out of the way. (gets up, heads into the kitchen).

Eri: Okay, give me your phone so I can do the live.

Usagi: I can do it myself. (opens phone, starts the live). How many people should be on here before I do it?

Eri: How many people are on there now?

Usagi: like a thousand

Eri: That’s probably enough.

Usagi: okay, (clears throat). Hello everyone, thank you for joining my live. I wasn’t planning on doing this today, but I was planning on doing it at some point, first I would just like to thank you all for your support over the years, having such a huge fan base all over the world means a lot to me. I’m working on a lot of books, so keep an eye out for that. ( He cracked his knuckles, looking back at Misaki who gave him a small grin and a nod).The next thing I would like to talk about it myself, I am someone who is extremally personally and keeps my private life to myself, most of my interviews involve someone asking me if I’m in a relationship. (Takes deep breath). For the past for years, almost Five, I have been in a relationship with the most amazing man in the whole world, he’s my everything, my soulmate, bestfriend, the love of life, and now my fiancé. Just recently we got engaged. Now, I am not ready to introduce him to the world yet because there is something he needs to take care of but, he will be ready to meet the world soon. I will answer a few questions if anyone has any. “Have you always know you were gay” I have, for as long as I can remember. “can you do a Q&A with your Fiancé?” Only if you wants to. “Do you live with him?” I do, and I think I’m going to end the live on that note, because it seems dinner is ready. He’s an amazing cook. Thank you for coming to my live and I hope you continue reading my books, but if you don’t support me for who I am then that’s your problem, but I mean by books are BL, so it was kinda obvious.

Eri: Hey, you can’t say that stuff to your fans.

Usagi: Why?

Eri: It’s rude.

Usagi: (Shrugs).

Eri: end the live.

Usagi: That’s my editor, she’s the reason my books get out on time. Goodbye. (ends live)

Eri: I really thought you were going to say, “she’s a pain in my ass”

Usagi: I thought about it. (Places phone on table, Misaki walks into living room, passing the two to put dinner on the dinning room table). What did you make?

Misaki: Just different types of tempura. I need to get some plates, and glasses. Want to get some wine?

Usagi: Sure.

(the two walk into the kitchen, Misaki grabs glasses and plates Usagi pulls out a bottle of wine, he places his hand on Misaki’s chest).

Usagi: How was the live?

Misaki: Fine.

Usagi: (Blushes): Fine as in bad, or fine as in good.

Misaki: Right, you did good babe. (Leans up to kiss him). Don’t worry about it. (starts towards the dining room).

Usagi: (gently grabs Misaki’s), that last comment I made, you know the one, was it-)

Misaki: No, it was okay. Don’t worry about what Eri said. I don’t think it was rude.

Usagi: Okay but-

Misaki: You know me well enough to know that I would tell you if I thought it was rude.

Usagi: Right.

Misaki: So don’t worry about it.

(they go to sit down with Eri, talk about the plans for the morning and have a nice meal. After dinner Eri takes a bath, Misaki cleans the kitchen Usagi watching him).

Usagi: (leaning against the counter), I could do that once in a while you know.

Misaki: So do it. (Cleans off a dish, setting it on the rack to dry).

Usagi: Yeah, but like not now.

Misaki: (rolls eyes), Don’t bring it up then.

Usagi: Okay, how about, I put the dishes up.

Misaki: I’m shocked you actually know where they go. (Smirks)

Usagi: (Grabs a pile of plates, stacks them in the cabinet). I’m not completely helpless you know, I’ve lived here since I was sixteen, and did buy most of this stuff by myself.

Misaki: Most of the dishes were gathering dust by the time I got to it though.

Usagi: I still know where they go.

Misaki: (empties the water out, turns to face Usagi as he puts the last of the sliver wear up). I’m glad you do.

Usagi: (Walks over to Misaki wrapping his arms around his waist), What would you do if I didn’t?

Misaki: (Places hands on Usagi’s forearms), Honestly? I’d be really worried for you, given the fact that you’ve watched me put them away so many times, and like you said; it’s your house, you should know where things go.

Usagi: I do... Most of the time.

Misaki: Great! So you can start cleaning up after yourself? I mean especially when we get our new place, that won’t only be my job anymore.

Usagi: Seriously?!

Misaki: Yeah babe. (he shrugged, walking into the living room handing him the basket that was on the floor), you can start now, do the laundry.

Usagi: I just had surgery you know!

Misaki: (reaches up, rubbing Usagi’s chin), awe, you can’t keep milking that baby.

Usagi: No heavy lifting!

Misaki: (scoffs), it’s no, you can do this, I believe in you.

Usagi: B-B-B

Misaki: What?

Usagi: I-I... I can’t think of any more excuses.

Misaki: It’s a small load of our sweat pants and some hoodies, it’s easy.

Usagi: If I mess up, I never have to do it again right?

Misaki: Cute.

Usagi: (groans), Fine! I’ll do it!!. (walks out of living room).

(Eri walks downstairs in a oversized shirt and leggings, a towel is still wrapped around her head, she’s wearing a clay face mask).

Eri: What’s his problem?

Misaki: I’m making him do laundry, what’s all this? (he waves his finger around her face).

Eri: It’s my face mask, keeps me young.

Misaki: huh, and aren’t you supposed to stay quiet, so it hardens?

Eri: (nods), I just wanted to know why he was upset, plus you guys were fighting, I was wondering why.

Misaki: It’s not fighting! its called bantering!

Eri: Right, because there’s a difference?

Misaki: Bantering is teasing, fighting is yelling. Usagi and I don’t fight.

(Usagi, walks into the room brushing his hands together).

Usagi: Well, I did it, and if I messed up we can always by new clothes! (walks over to Misaki throwing an arm around him), What’s on her face?

Misaki: Facemask.

Usagi: Oh, to keep her young?

Misaki: Yeah.

Eri: I need to wash it off, I don’t think it worked.

Misaki: Because you were talking the whole time!

Eri: Oh well. (Rushes upstairs to the bathroom).

Misaki: So, what time are we supposed to look at the property?

Usagi: Around 11.

Misaki: (lets out a nervous sigh), Okay.

Usagi: You’re not Nervous are you?

Misaki: (Faces Usagi), It’s just, (picks up his hands), A week from Saturday a graduate. We look at this property Tomorrow, I mean everything is real.

Usagi: Once, I pay for this, it’s a done deal. Are you sure you want to build a house together?

Misaki: yeah, and don’t do it alone, let me pay for half.

Usagi: Mi-

Misaki: The whole reason I’m doing this, is so we can have it together, it’ll feel like my house if I help pay for it.

Usagi: Okay, but I’m going to pay the full amount tomorrow. I have the money already.

Misaki: I have the money to pay half, in cash.

Usagi: You do?

Misaki: (laughs), yeah, I do.

Usagi: Okay, but I know I can get the price lower, so let me do the talking I trust my realtor.

Misaki: Got it. (Kisses Usagi gently on the lips).

Usagi: So when did you get all this money?

Misaki: Because Unlike you, I save my money.

Usagi: But I always have money.

Misaki: You never had to worry about saving, and that’s fine, I did, but I was able to buy our engagement rings, and i’m going to help buy our house.

Usagi: Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?

Misaki: (sighs), your family was rich, you were born into wealth, and because of your talents your lucky enough to keep making a good sum of money.

Usagi: I could save money.

Misaki: I know you probably could, I’m just saying you never had to worry about having too. (sits on couch arm, pulling Usagi towards him), that’s why I don’t always want you taking me on expensive trips or buying out entire restaurants for us to have a good time, I don’t always need that.

Usagi: So what do you need?

Misaki: I just need you.

Usagi: (smiles) I just need you too. (lifts up Misaki’s chin,softly kisses him on the lips, running his hand through his tangled brown hair, Misaki moans softly, pulling back to look at the older man).

Misaki: I need you, us to start saving for our house, and our wedding.

Usagi: I’ll put aside money each month for that stuff then okay?

Misaki: (Nods), Thank you. I love you.

Usagi: I love you too, (wraps arms around the younger boy. He wanted to keep his word, he made a lot of money, but setting aside money for their home and wedding was important, he could easily afford all of it now, but this meant a lot to Misaki, and he was not going to go back on his word).

#junjou romantica #junjouromaticafanfic #Misaki Takahashi #Usagi x Misaki #Misaki x Usagi #Akihiko Usami #my OTP #Gay OTP #ship #fanfiction #its been a minute #part 17 #Junju romatica

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mcustorm · 4 years

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45 M/M Gay Movies, Ranked

The other day I bit the bullet and decided to watch Brokeback Mountain for the first time. All I knew about that movie was that it was basically the CMBYN of yesteryear and somebody got killed with a tire iron. Anyways, so I finish the movie and realize that I’ve seen a *lot* of gay movies, especially in the last couple of years. So here are my rankings according to nothing but my personal preference. I won’t write about all of them, but you can ask about something if I leave it out.

I wish I could give you a rubric for this. The reality is, there are some radically different movies on this list with different tones and intentions. There’s buddy comedies, tearjerkers, small indie features, big theater releases. So trying to rank them all is TUFF.

The Way He Looks - Such a beautiful coming-of-age movie. Maybe the 2nd one I saw on this list? Perfect length, perfect characterization, simple yet compelling, clever. And nothing feels better than reaching a happy ending (for once, because some of these movies’ endings-- SHEESH) that’s been earned. It just hasn’t been topped.

2. God’s Own Country

3. Pride

4. Kanarie - Yea, we don’t talk about this movie enough. It’s one of the most recent that I’ve seen. Beautiful. The way that it references apartheid and the war to reflect the protagonist’s feelings? Flawless.

5. Jongens - The first movie that I saw on this list, gets many a bonus point for that.

6. Moonlight - Yes, I am black. Yes, I understand this movie may be too low. Moonlight kind of scares me. In general, there’s not nearly enough discourse surrounding this one for me. But while it’s not exactly a popcorn-muncher, to me it’s the most personal movie on the list. When I look at Chiron and all that he’s been through, I can’t help but draw parallels to my own story up to this point. It holds a mirror up to me in a way that no other movie on this list does. That makes me uncomfortable.

But it is so poetic. Have you guys seen the script for this? The directing, the SOUNDTRACK, the acting. Phenomenal.

7. Weekend

8. Call Me By Your Name - Yes, I am aware of people’s beef with this one. Yes, I understand a lot of people may feel this one is overrated. While I do think this one gets worse on rewatch, the truth is, it’s not really *that* overrated because hot take: most (meaning over half) of the movies on this list range somewhere from “just okay” to “painstakingly bad”.

It’s the score, the cinematography, the subtext in most all of the dialogue, the acting, the way that you can smell the apricots through the fucking screen. People who say this movie is a vacation ad are fucking CORRECT. One of my biggest gripes however is that it’s too fucking long. And uh, that age difference...

And Armie Hammer’s a weirdo...

9. Dating Amber* - Dating Amber has one of those “Duh” premises that sounds like it could’ve been done like 30 times before yet I can’t think of any other examples of it. So what you’d think would be a wacky premise actually turns out to be a frankly poignant movie with an emotional story arc for the main two characters.

10. Hello Stranger: The Movie* - This movie, which is the first sequel (sorta) on the list, frankly had no business being as good as it was. Even though the web series is required viewing, I felt the movie fixed like all of the series’ issues: pacing, lack of compelling drama, the awkward quarantine format. The drama and stakes are there without us having to visit Angst City. And the theme and the ending reprise is HEAT.

11. Uncle Frank* - Uncle Frank is like The Help of gay movies. Like The Help, it’s *overall* a short, sweet and fluffy movie set decades ago. Like The Help, you’ll still come out of it feeling pretty good even though it has some dark moments. Also like The Help, you’ll wonder after the fact if the central white girl absolutely needed to be so...well, central for this story to be told. Bonus points for Paul Bettany and Character Actress Margo Martindale.

12. Brokeback Mountain - Tragic.

13. Moffie - Set during the South African border war, same as Kanarie. You even hear the word “moffie” throughout Kanarie. Anyways, this is a war movie for the gays, and a very intense watch. I liked that it was a much more realistic view of what a soldier endured during that period, and of course on the flip side I thought it was more thorough in its depiction of the rampant racism. I gotta find a good book on this era.

14. A Moment In the Reeds

15. Get Real - Maybe the most out of place movie on the list. I need to rewatch it. I do recall absolutely loving the score, however. Like, I fucks with this:

youtube

16. Freier Fall - When I finished Brokeback I was like, “Wait, wasn’t that just Free Fall with extra steps?” And yea, it kinda is. But even discount Brokeback is still pretty good.

17. Beautiful Thing - There are few things to like about this one, the relationship between the two guys, the mother’s love for her son even though it’s not all rainbows, that nice little final scene. I did not care for the dark-skinned woman being portrayed as, you know, the drug abusing, school dropout, gossipy, butt of jokes neighbor. But that guy really looks like Tom Holland tho.

18. Love, Simon - It’s at this point that I move from “Yea, that movie is good, you should watch it!” to “Look, you may like it, you may not.”

19. The 10 Year Plan - This movie is so fucking cheesy that there was cheddar coming though my speakers. But when I think of “Hallmark/Lifetime, but for the gays” this is the crown jewel. There’s some other movies on this list that could’ve taken some notes.

20. The Christmas Setup* - The trend of fluffy-white-gay-cable-network-movie continues and in good form. It’s not deep. It’s not really thought provoking. It’s cute. Fran Drescher is there. You should watch it.

21. Giant Little Ones

22. Hidden Kisses

23. Alex Strangelove - In a unique twist, the emotional core of this one is arguably between Alex and his girlfriend. All that ends up happening, however, is we the viewer keep wanting more Alex/Elliott scenes; those are the most electric in the whole movie. The end result is a hot yet endearing mess.

24. Fair Haven

25. The Thing About Harry - Freeform’s attempt at making a cheesy rom-com for the gays. It’s...okay. I personally feel like the main character’s friend is highkey trifling but it’s whatever.

26. Your Name Engraved Herein* - So I guess I’ve decided I officially hate angst. I mean, I get how it’s often necessary to tell an effective story, but I’m just not here for 2 hour indie angst fests that get passed off as “high art” anymore. I cannot do it. Somehow this is Brokeback’s fault...there just has to be a better way to tell gay stories in the 2020′s. Anyways, the last song was fuego.

27. The Perfect Wedding - Easily the most bizarre movie on this list. It’s so bad, I liked it a lot.

28. Naz and Maalik - The first half of the movie with the two leads just riffing is some pretty great stuff. The back half starts throwing plot developments that are just less than interesting.

29. My Best Friend

30. The Curiosity of Chance

31. Being 17 - Boring. Angsty.

32. And Then We Danced

33. Center of My World - Has some of the most trifling characters EVER. I was so angry. This movie for me has *0* rewatchability.

34. Just Friends

35. 4th Man Out - This movie was basically “a bro/Hangover-style movie, but for the gays.” I absolutely love the intention, but the execution was a little shoddy. One day we’re gonna get a flawless movie that nails what this movie was going for. I hope we remember this movie whenever that day comes.

36. Latter Days - So fucking preachy.

37. GBF - Another bizarre one, but at least this movie gets how wacky it is.

38. Beach Rats

39. Shelter - I’ve noticed a lot of people like this one. To that I say...yikes. Remember that scene from Family Guy where Peter says he doesn’t care for The Godfather? I did not care for Shelter. It insists upon itself (not really, but still).

40. Handsome Devil

41. Esteros - It’s at this point of the list that we shift from “Movies that are the definition of ‘ight’ “ to “These movies are bad. Bad. BAAAAAD.”

42. Monster Pies

43. Were the World Mine - I couldn’t even finish it. Wanna watch a better musical? Go watch Kanarie. Wanna watch a better Shakespeare adaptation? The Lion King is the movie for you, or even fucking She’s the Man.

44. North Sea Texas - So boring. I actually think this one may need a rewatch, because I swear it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.

45. Salvation Army - I have no idea what this movie was going for. I understand that it is autobiographical, however...it simultaneously barely has any plot or character developments. This one has shades of Beach Rats, but it’s significantly worse, and I didn’t even like Beach Rats that much.

So that’s it, thanks if you made it down this far. I guess I’ll update the list as I inevitably watch more of these. I would love movie recommendations!

#lgbtcinema #the way he looks #cmbyn #love simon #thanks for reading #thanks profusely to the gif-makers #i couldn't finish maurice...i'm so sorry #half of these are breaking glass or wolfe #argue with yo mama

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dearest-bucky · 4 years

Text

Ask to be unbroken (One Shot)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: What does it take to break down the walls of a scared, broken heart?

Words: 5.1K

Warnings: Sadness, emotionally traumatized reader, crying, fluffy ending of course!

A/n: I feel this fic on a personal level, considering this reader is loosely based on myself, so I really hope you guys will like it. Feedback is greatly appreciated! x

Originally posted: May 16, 2020

“Will you go on a date with me?”

Out of everything she could have imagined him ask, he went and asked her out on a date. Why would he do that anyway? Why would he want to go out with her? It’s not like she is the most beautiful girl in New York. Hell, she probably isn’t the most beautiful girl inside the small bookstore she owned, crowded with people as he asked the question that literally rendered her speechless.

Her mouth was suddenly dry and despite the fact that she knew it would have probably taken him a great deal to work up the courage and ask her on a date, she had to refuse.

Fumbling with the pages of the book that was currently in her hands, eyes not daring to meet his, she finally managed to speak up enough for him to hear. “I’m sorry, Bucky I don’t think that’s a good idea.” And that’s all it took for him to apologize too, before moving up from the chair he was sitting, right opposite of her and left the bookstore without so much of another word.

It was just another work day at the bookstore, not too many people as there usually were, but enough to keep her on her feet all the time. The little bell that informed her of the door opening rang with it’s usual ring and her attention moved from the young student in front of her to the direction of the door, where a tall, handsome man just entered. She greeted him with a smile as she did all of the people who came in the bookstore, before returning her gaze to the aforementioned girl, continuing to help her with the literature she needed.

Most of the people had bought whatever books they needed and left, leaving inside the bookstore only her with a couple of costumers, an old woman that was sitting in one of the armchairs near the window, reading a novel in peace, and as she looked in his direction again, the handsome stranger that she had seen for the first time in her life and in her shop. She was sure she would have remembered his face if he’d come before. He was moving along the shelves, looking for nothing in particular as it seemed, until Y/n cleared her throat before speaking to him. “Hi there, do you need help with finding anything?” Her voice was sweet and polite, just like every other time she spoke to anyone.

The stranger turned his body slightly in her direction, his eyes - the bluest she’d ever seen in her life, she concluded - meeting her figure. “ I-um.. I was actually just looking.” He spoke, unsure. That was a little weird, she thought, before he spoke up again, this time giving his tone a little more force, trying to sound more sure in himself. “My friend said I need to catch up on literature and I don’t know… Anything that is worth reading?” He finished, trailing as the question left his lips.

“Well, anything you are interested in? What do you usually enjoy reading?”

“I’m not sure…” His eyes drifted towards the shelf of books again as he tried to focus on reading the titles in front of him.

She looked at him curiously, then moved her eyes to the books too, not wanting to seem like a creep staring him down. “Don’t worry, I will help you find something.” She stretched her hand out to pat him on the forearm as a sign on friendliness - she always tried to make people feel welcome and touching was like her way of showing she cared - but as soon as she did so, she noticed him stiffen and take a step back from her, so she quickly retreated her halfway up hand, mumbling out an apology. As he retreated from her, she could notice a flicker of silver shine from the little ridden up sleeve of his hoodie and her mind clicked in recognition.

He could only muster up a half smile and shook his head to let her know it was okay, and they both walked to the front of the shop, where the old lady was still present with her nose buried in the book she was holding in her old, a little shaky hands.

She moved calmly and carefully around the desk that served also as the cash registering place for all the buying and sells and opened a drawer under the said desk, holding two books, that looked, from their appearance older than she was. She straightened her blouse before turning to him again, a small smile resting on her lips despite the awkward situation just a couple of minutes ago.

“Here.” She said and offered the books to him, careful to not touch his hands as he took them from her. He inspected the books, reading their titles in a mumbled voice before looking up to her again, a small smile making its way on his own lips.

“How much are these?” He asked and she only shook her head before responding again.

“These are actually not for sale. They’re first editions and very valuable to me, but I’m willing to lend them to you so you can read them. If you like them you can come back and then buy something else.” She finished, her smile widening more as she spoke, but he only squinted his eyes in disbelief at her action. She was too trusting for her own good, he thought and he couldn’t help the question from slipping past his lips.

“How are you so sure I’ll bring your books back?“Something flickered in her eyes, amusement, glee, he wasn’t sure what was it, only looking at her pointedly as he waited for her to respond.

"Well, I’m no genius or whatever, but I wouldn’t suspect of Bucky Barnes as a book thief.” His eyes widened in shock, for a short second, before he took in a quick breath he didn’t know he was short of. She had recognized him. But that wasn’t the real important thing. She had recognized him and she wasn’t scared of him. A ghost of a smile formed on his lips in wonder.

After that day he had come back to the bookstore again and again. At first, his visits were sporadic and short, long enough only to exchange books with her and then leave, but after the first two months of that he started to visit more often, until after three months, he would stop everyday at the bookstore. He’d spend most of his time there, the small bell informing of his arrival early in the morning, only a half hour after she opened, two cups of coffee in one hand and a paper bag of pastries in the other, their usual breakfast. He’d usually talk with Y/n and help her organize the books on shelves, or when there were too many costumers and she needed to be with them, he’d sit on the purple armchair opposite the old woman - he’d learned her name was Pearl - and read a book of his own.

Whenever he was on a mission, he’d make sure to let her know he couldn’t make it to the shop that day or however long it took and it was 8 months later and he was feeling himself fall a little more every day for her.

She had this calm presence that he almost craved, what with his crazy life as an Avenger, and she was always kind and sweet. And not only to him. She treated everyone she met with the same kindness, always careful when she spoke, making sure each person she interacted with was feeling comfortable in her presence. And he loved her for that. Up until now, their meetings were only limited in the small space of her bookstore and while it pleased Bucky to simply be in her company, he wanted to get to know her outside her shell of a shop too.

Usually, when she closed around 9 pm, he’d be with her to help her until the end, but they always separated their ways in front of the small pink door of the book store, him mounting his motorcycle and riding to the compound, and her walking the short distance of two blocks until her apartment.

That night though, Bucky didn’t want to be separated from her just yet, so he offered to walk her and after a small moment of hesitance, she slowly nodded her head. “I can come back for my bike later.” He said as they made their way in the direction of her apartment.

They were walking slowly beside each other, the sounds of New York City never dying as they tried to hold a conversation. Despite having known him for almost a year now, she still didn’t dare be too intrusive, knowing how he struggled with almost everything after all that had happened to him. And she didn’t blame him at all for that, she could never. She respected him too much for that.

“We have a mission tomorrow.” He said as they walked, kind of out of the blue, considering they had been talking about the drinking habits of Hemingway just a moment ago before they’d fallen in a comfortable silence.

“Oh.” It was the only thing that left her lips. She knew his job as an Avenger was demanding, keeping him away on missions more often than not, but she couldn’t say anything about it. She could only worry in silence.

“Yeah, um, it will probably last a week or two. Depends on how helpful Sam is in this one.” He tried to joke, noticing how she had visibly stiffened a little when he turned his head on the side to look at her. But she didn’t laugh. She didn’t even smile. It was as if she hadn’t heard him at all.

Voices shouting, nearing them with each passing second could be heard and Bucky turned to the direction of the noises to assess the situation, his body working on auto pilot, looking around for possible threats. All he was met though were the loud, screeching voice of a woman and the grunts and yells of a man following behind her. They seemed like just another couple fighting so he let them be, not one to meddle in other people’s business as long as they didn’t hurt anybody. People were looking at them intently, eager to follow the drama unfolding before them, but he simply shook his head at the sight and turned to look again at Y/n, only to not find her beside him where she was a moment ago. He was so confused for a second, until he saw her in front of him, walking alone, trying to get away from all the yelling and cursing.

With a few quick strides he was able to catch up with her, his right hand taking a light hold of her wrist, stopping her dead on her tracks. “Y/n?” He turned her to look at him, confused by her behavior. “What happened?”

She didn’t speak right away, only picked up her head to slowly meet his eyes, her own glazed with unshed tears and his confusion turned to worry, he was quick to place a hand on her cheek and caress the soft skin of her face. “Hey, are you okay?” His voice was small and cautious, as if he was scared she’d explode like a bomb if he weren’t extra delicate with her. She only nodded her head and took a step back, his hand falling down from her face while she did so.

“Y-yeah.” She stammered out. “I’m okay, I just need to go home.” As soon as she finished her sentence she turned to walk again, confusing Bucky even more but he didn’t let her go away, following behind her and walking beside her until they arrived in front of a tall building and she stopped. The remainder of the way they had walked in silence, so when she turned to him, looking a little more put together than 10 minutes ago, he let out a small sigh of relief.

“This is me.” She spoke up and he could only offer her a small smile in return, not really knowing what else to say. She didn’t let him too much time to think though, as she spoke again. “Thanks for walking me. Good night Bucky.” Her voice was smaller than usual, as if she was scared of him and he couldn’t understand what happened that caused her change in demeanor, but he wasn’t about to let her go like that. He carefully wrapped his hand around her wrist again, just like he did before.

“I’ll text you when I’m away, okay?” He said to her, a hopeful glint in his eyes despite the timid tone of his voice as he said those words.

“Okay.” She replied, just a simple word before turning to walk towards the entrance of the building.

“Good night Y/n.” He spoke behind her, loud enough for her to hear despite the distance between them as she walked. She only turned her head back to offer him a small smile, before disappearing inside the building. That was all he needed anyway.

True to his word, Bucky had texted her as much as he could during the entire time he was away on his mission. Despite the slightly awkward way they parted the other night, he texted her as if nothing had happened, complaining about something Sam did, as usual, asking about her day, her work, the shop, Pearl, chatting the days away until he’d come back.

It was more than two weeks later that he did come back. 18 days to be exact, but who was counting? Certainly not Y/n. Despite the constant texts they exchanged, she missed not having him there with her at the bookstore. She missed seeing him reading in silence opposite to Pearl, stealing glances her way that he’d thought she didn’t notice while she was talking with other costumers. She missed the way his eyes wrinkled when he laughed at something Pearl said to him, or the way his brows pinched together in concentration when he focused on the pages of the books, the way his tongue poked out slightly, wetting his lips as he changed the pages. He had become a constant in her life, slowly but surely warming his way inside her heart.

When he first entered her shop she didn’t recognize him, but then after the dead giveaway that was his metal appendage she’d scolded herself for not identifying him sooner. She’s have saved herself the embarrassment and the awkwardness of that day. She still had managed to recover the situation rather nicely though.

Now as she sat close to Pearl, talking about no other than one Bucky Barnes, she couldn’t help the feeling of anxiety in her chest. She was starting to feel more than she should for him and it would be recommendable to stop before that went too far.

“I’m not saying that.” She tried to reason with the older woman who was without a doubt the most stubborn person on the planet. “I’m just saying that I’ve had enough of messed up relationships in my life I don’t need another one.”

Pearl scoffed in annoyance at her words. If there was someone she knew almost as well as she knew herself, that was Y/n. For almost five years now, she’d been a regular at the bookstore and getting to know the young woman, she’d concluded she was an amazing person who deserved only the very best of everything life could offer her. But she also had a lot of traumas from her past, relating mainly to the family she was raised in.

Her parents would fight a lot, her house never being a quiet and loving home, never a good enough place and environment to raise a child. Living in a war zone, as she usually called it, for the lack of a better word from her part, Y/n had swore she’d never become the same person as her parents were. When she was 18 and had just graduated high school, she’d left her hometown and moved to New York, alone, not knowing anyone in the city, but she’d made it, almost. 10 years later and she was a whole different person from the emotionally wounded girl she’d been when she had left her house, but no matter how much time had passed, the scars had left their marks. All over her soul.

“Listen to me sweetie.” Pearl started, determined to make her listen, and not only with her ears but also with her heart. “I know what you’re scared of, but you’re nothing like your parents. You’re a gentle soul and you’d never turn out to become like your mother and he is so kind and careful and his eyes shine so bright whenever he looks at you, it’s adorable.” She stopped for a moment to draw in a short breath and then with dreamy eyes, fixed her sight to Y/n, before speaking again. “Reminds me of my darling Rob.”

Y/n smiled at her last words, knowing Pearl’s story with her late husband Robert. It was one of her favorite love stories, but despite everything Pearl had told her, sharing her life with the younger woman in hopes to make her open up her mind and her heart to the possibilities of love, Y/n was still held prisoner of her childhood trauma. A miserable family makes for miserable kids. And miserable kids makes even more miserable adults.

It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in love, because she did, she just didn’t believe love was for her. A loving family wasn’t in the cards for her. It never was anyway. Not even when she was an innocent child, still unfamiliar with the heartbreak and pain. Her very soul had been broken by the two people who were supposed to never hurt her, but she guessed it was what it was.

She would reply to Pearl again, but she stopped when she heard the bell on the door alert her of people coming in the shop. She turned her head to look at the new company and was surprised to see Bucky, smiling sheepishly at her from where he was standing. She gave a look to Pearl, who was smirking from her seat and got up from her own chair and walked to him, him meeting her halfway.

She held her breath as she took him in, he looked just like the last time she’d seen him, if only more handsome. There was a faint bruise on his cheekbone and she winced as she moved her hand up to brush her fingers lightly on it. “Hi.” She finally managed to speak a little breathless, but he didn’t seem to notice, too lost in her eyes to pay attention to the tone of her voice.

A long minute passed before he broke off the trance he was in and finally managed to whisper back to her. “Hi, doll.”

She was about to say something else, anything really, wanting to ask him about the mission, despite the fact that he wouldn’t be able to tell her much, to ask him if he was okay, if he was hurt, if he had eaten anything, but she couldn’t bring herself to form the words as she stared in his ocean blue eyes. And just after another short moment, the bell of the shop rang again and more people entered, as if Bucky had brought them with him.

They had to move away from each other as people roamed around the place, and Bucky walked to Pearl to greet her with a light hug. She patted his cheek affectionately in return and Y/n swore she caught the hint of a blush creep up his cheeks at the older woman’s gesture, it was endearing. However she didn’t have time to stay and watch them as she was needed to help a kid no more than 12 years old find a book.

After some time, she was finally able to take a breath and sit down, seeing nobody needed her help for the moment, the people around roaming through the shelves and fending for themselves. She walked to the corner Bucky was sitting with Pearl, but the latter wasn’t there anymore. Y/n raised her eyebrow in question as she sat down to the chair she had been previously sitting.

“To the vendor outside.” He pointed outside the window, seeing a street vendor sell hot dogs and cotton candy. She could see Pearl talking to the men and she smiled at the sight, before turning her attention to Bucky.

“How are you? How was the mission?” She asked, sincerity and care evident in her voice.

“Too long.” Were his only words of reply and she only nodded at him. Too long to go without seeing your face everyday , he wanted to say but didn’t dare speak those words.

A long silence stretched between them, neither of them knowing what else to say. They had both missed each other so much but neither was about to admit that out loud. Too scared, too anxious to mess anything up.

After what felt like too long for his liking, Bucky finally managed to clear his throat, as if the very action would help him gain some courage to speak up. “I-um.. I was actually wondering…” He started to speak, so unsure in himself it made Y/n think of the first time they’d met and he’d spoken to her. “Well, I’ve been thinking while I was away, and I wanted to ask you something.” He finally managed to drawl out the words.

He knew there was no turning back after this, once the words left his mouth, things would change between them, but if he didn’t ask he’d drive himself crazy with the thoughts of what ifs. So he steeled his nerves before speaking up again.

I like you Y/n,“ He started again and saw her eyes widen at his confession. "I really do like you, and I was hoping we could go out sometimes, you know…” He trailed, unsure of how to finish, but she didn’t speak so he had to fill the quietness somehow, too nervous to bare the sound of silence. “So, will you go on a date with me?”

He was staring at her, hoping to hell that she said something before he lost his nerve and broke down in front of her. Hopeful eyes were staring up at her own confused, scared? ones and he couldn’t help the panic that rose in his chest, already knowing what her answer would be.

“I’m sorry, Bucky I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Her voice felt distant as she spoke the words and he couldn’t stand to be in her presence anymore, too ashamed to even look in her eyes now. He nodded his head - not asking for another explanation, he got his answer - and walked out of the book store without another glance back.

He felt foolish. He had ruined everything because he’d caught feelings for her. He had wanted to tell her he loved her, but he was glad he went for ‘like’ instead, otherwise it would’ve been twice as embarrassing. It was enough that he had killed himself for more than two weeks trying to muster up the courage and let her know how he felt. Now of course she thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to date him. Who in their right mind would want to date him anyway? He knew all too well what was wrong with him, but it didn’t mean her rejection hurt any less because of that.

He almost crashed into Pearl as she was walking back to the bookstore and with a quick apologize to her, he practically ran to his bike, wanting nothing more than to get away from there.

Y/n was inside the shop, face hidden in her hands when Pearl re-entered, confusion written on her features. “What happened?” She asked, sounding almost alarmed, and only then did Y/n pick up her head to look at the older woman, tears streaming down her cheeks rapidly.

Pearl walked to her and placed the food she’d bought on the small table before placing both her hands on Y/n’s shoulder and that was all it took for the girl to hug her tightly, sobbing in her chest like a small child, afraid and hurt.

“Shh.. It’s okay dove.” She reassured, voice calm and sweet as she patted her back softly. If the other people inside the shop saw the entire scene unfold in front of them, they didn’t dare stare for too long, each minding their own business, focused on different books on their hands.

“I think I messed up.” She said in between sobs, loud enough for Pearl to hear.

“What happened?”

“He asked me on a date and I rejected him.” She explained shortly, the older woman urging her to calm her breathing pattern, to stop the heavy sobs and crying. Eventually she did and wiped her face with the back of her hands, releasing her grip on Pearl and moving to sit on the chair next to hers.

“It’s okay.. Everything will be okay.” The woman kept repeating until it became some sort of a mantra to both of them.

It had been nearly a week since the day he’d asked her out and she said no, and ever since that day, he never came back to the bookstore again, never texted her or called her. Y/n could understand his reasoning. He had every right to cut her off, after the way she’d let him down without so much as an explanation. Not that she owed anyone any explanation for simply saying no, but this was Bucky she was talking about. He deserved anything she could give him and then some more. But she’d been scared, and honestly she still was. The emotional trauma she’d experienced from her parents relationship was still scarring her, but she wanted to put an end to it. She wanted to break free from that. She wanted to be able to love Bucky and have him love her in return and be happy with him. It could happen, couldn’t it?

She had tried to pull herself together and text him or call him and ask to see him again, but every time she picked up her phone to do so, she’d lose the nerve and throw it carelessly away.

After the long day she had, leaving her exhausted not only physically but also emotionally, she finally managed to wrap things up for the day, ready to close the shop and call it a day. Outside the rain was pouring down like crazy, it wasn’t even normal considering it was almost the end of spring and she was wondering how’d she get home in this weather without an umbrella. It wasn’t raining in the morning when she had left her apartment anyway.

She was placing the large notebook where she kept her records of the shop in the drawer under her desk, ready to take off when the too familiar ring of the bell was heard and without looking up, she answered in auto pilot, voice polite as always, but a hint of tiredness was evident in it. “Sorry, I’m closing up now. You could come back tomorrow.”

She picked her head up to look at the new presence in the shop and when her eyes met his figure her breath hitched behind her throat. Bucky. There he was, sopping wet, droplets of rain dripping from his hair and his clothes to the floor, making a puddle around him. He carefully pulled out a book from inside his jacket and walked towards Y/n, placing the book on her desk.

“I just came to return this. I’m gonna leave now.” His voice was thick with emotion, as if he was trying to hold back tears or something and Y/n couldn’t help but feel guilty for that. It’d been her fault that he seemed so sad, so… miserable.

Yeah, miserable she thought. Miserable people only make other miserable people. But as she saw him turn around to leave, just like he had the last time she’d seen him, she decided right then and there that she was done being a miserable person. She was done being scared, she was done closing her heart off, done running away from her feelings.

“Bucky…” it escaped her lips almost in a hurry, afraid if she lost another second he’d leave again, but he heard her and he turned around instantly, as if he had waited for her to call him. She walked around her desk and towards him, her steps slow but sure as she closed the distance between them both. He could only stare at her in disbelief as she neared him, too scared to move as if she’d disappear if he did anything uncalculated.

Without so much as another word, she placed both of her hands on his wet cheeks and hesitantly placed her lips on his. She kissed him sweetly, but she broke the contact way too soon, seeing he hadn’t returned the kiss at all.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I just…” She let go of his face, trying to take a step back but he didn’t let her, his hands finding her waist and keeping her still there. He kept looking at her, waiting for her to say something else, his hands squeezing her waist in a silent encouragement for her to speak again, so she did. “Ask me again, please?” Her voice was small as she said those words but Bucky didn’t miss it, a ghost of a smile creeping up his lips.

He waited a bit before parting his lips to form the words. “Will you go on a date with me?”

Her eyes fluttered closed and she couldn’t suppress the smile that bloomed on her own lips upon hearing his voice. “Yes Bucky, I would love to.” She replied sweetly with the words she should have said the first time he asked her. His smile widened at her response and this time he was the one to lock their lips in a kiss, hesitant at first, then confident but always sweet and gentle.

As Bucky kissed her lips, she could feel her walls crumbling down with loud thuds and echoes inside her soul, but she could tell she was safe with him. She had a long way to go before she could be 100% free of every insecurity and past pain, but being in his arms, there was no doubt she’d ever be broken again.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagines

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poetryinmotion-author · 3 years

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One Year Ago.

TL;DR--Thank you. Sanctuary Ch. 21 tomorrow.

Post is under the cut because Length--as it turns out, I can be very sentimental and wordy when called upon.

One year ago today, I was helping my parents take down Christmas decorations. It was relatively late in the evening. The only thing left to do was unravel the lights from the Christmas tree, and that was a one-man job. So I sat with my laptop, writing out an idea that had come to me a few days before--a continuation of The Mandalorian (season one). I had originally planned for this idea to be three to five chapters, maximum. After all, I had never considered myself a great prosaic writer, and the longest fic thing I had ever managed to write was the start of an epic prequel to The Hobbit. (It, ah...was a lot to ask of a baby writer, and didn’t get very far off the ground.)

To my surprise, the starting piece I was working on came smoothly, and almost all at once. I considered where to publish, and I landed on AO3. I filled out the requisite boxes for a new fic--characters, ship, rating, warnings (none). And then I got stuck on the title. I took a minute, considered the direction I was thinking the fic was going to go, and its place in the timeline of The Mandalorian as it stood after season 1. And finally, I decided on a name.

In the Aftermath.

One year ago, as I published my first chapter, fully intending to write something relatively flippant and leave it behind when it was finished, I had no possible conception of how much this project would mean to me. Since that leap of faith, I have written hundreds of pages, tens of thousands of words--more than I could ever have imagined. Not only that, but working on the Clan Djarin series guided me academically. Writing Clan Djarin and interacting with my fellow fic writers and readers inspired me to write my thesis on the validity of fanfiction as a genre. Eventually, I want to turn that essay into a book.

I have jumped deeper into the Star Wars pond than I ever expected to, and not only am I deeply enjoying it, but it has brought me closer to my dad. Getting to talk with him about something he’s been a fan of since its beginning has strengthened our bond, and I treasure it for that. He’s even read much of Clan Djarin--I think he stopped after chapter 14, or thereabouts. (I’m guessing romance isn’t really his genre, but to each their own.)

But the most important, and the most unexpected thing to come from writing Clan Djarin has been the friendships I’ve made. In the past year, I have met some of the most wonderful people, sharing a common love for The Mandalorian, and the mandomera ship more specifically. I have found support, critique when I need it, and a whole lot of love. That love has carried me through some of the roughest times of my life, from the general ass-ness of 2020, to my current bout with my health that has left me practically bedridden. For as many words as I’ve expended in this post, I can’t find enough of them to fully express how meaningful, how deep, how life-changing these friendships have been. I’m not going to do tags because I’m sure I’ll forget someone, so suffice it to say that whether you’ve been here since one year ago today, or if you only discovered Clan Djarin today; whether you’ve given kudos, liked my posts here, reblogged, written comments, or even just lurked and appreciated from afar, know that I consider you a monumental part of my life, and it wouldn’t be the same without you. You are the most important part of this whole endeavor. And from the core of my being, from my heart and soul:

Thank you.

Looking forward into this next year, I have no plans to slow down. After finishing Sanctuary, I will be releasing a series of seven one-shots set between Sanctuary and the third book of the series, whose title I will reveal at the time of publication for Sanctuary’s last chapter. I’m aiming for the third book to be about the same length, though it will be a more narrow story than the one I’ve written for Sanctuary. And after the third book, I will likely develop a prequel novel for The Mandalorian, or even a spin-off with my Nevarro Three characters. The possibilities are endless--and that is all due to your support and love. I hope you’ll come along for the ride.

The next chapter of Sanctuary will be published tomorrow afternoon/evening.

All my love and appreciation,

Liz (Poetry)

#fanfic #i don't know what to say here #other than saying thank you again #sorry this got wordy #but I have a lot of ~feelings~#you are all the brightest spot in my life #and i can't wait to show you what's coming #all my love

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teriwrites · 3 years

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2020 Writing Wrap-Up

Something that I do every year on the 1st is go back through absolutely everything I’ve written throughout the previous year and compile it into one massive word document. Everything from outlining notes to unfinished short stories to my NaNo project wind up in that file, where I like to read back and reflect on what I’ve gotten done through the year.

Every year, I end up having written more than I expected, and this year was no different!

Total for 2020: 203,119!

This is the first recorded year (I think it’s year 4 that I’ve done this for?) in which I’ve cracked 200K! It’s also the first year I’ve ever actually followed through on my resolution to share some of my writing online! So as rough as 2020 has been, I still somehow managed to break some personal records in writing. Which probably has everything to do with the fact that I joined this community earlier this year, and it’s been incredibly encouraging and supportive!

I also branched out a bit more this year in a few ways. I worked on some poetry and prose, which is not something I’ve put a lot of time into before so tends to be a challenge. It’s nothing that I’ll be posting anytime soon, but it was fun to work on in the moment, which is especially important in such a wild year as 2020.

One snag that I definitely hit was the fact that I have a lot more unfinished work than most years. A majority of the short stories I started working on never got finished. But I can’t even be too upset about that, because I totally loved being able to read back on even the fragmented pieces I ended up with. And while I do think a large part of that (for me) is discipline over inspiration, I’m willing to accept that, sometimes, things will remain unfinished. And it’s okay to stop working on them.

My overall focus shifted a bit this year, too, which was interesting. I worked more on longer things than most years - started out the year by finishing my first draft of Castle on the Hill, continued making some edits and reworking its outline, did a large part of Beneath Alder Creek’s first draft in November. Right now, I’m working on what I expect to be a novella by the time I’m done with it. It’s a big contrast to the usual, short and snappy short stories that fill most of my previous wrap-up files. But I still definitely write those sometimes, and it’s nice to be able to try stretching and testing my own boundaries.

This is the part of my wrap-up where I go ham throwing in some of my favorite out-of-context quotes from a variety of different things I’ve worked on. Some of them might be familiar, a lot probably won’t. I’m going to post it beneath the thing so this doesn’t become even more absurdly long!

Some of the ~highlights~ of 2020:

First Thoughts in the Morning: wow the sexual tension between me and the alarm clock right now. Later Reflection: wtf? (a literal note on my notes app that I included because I Cannot remember writing any of this and it made me laugh)

Edriele’s gaze trailed down to the woman’s armor, and her stomach twisted. “Where did you find your attire?” The woman glanced down in surprise, as though she’d forgotten she was wearing it. “It was fitted to me when I gained my ranking. I suppose it draws attention, but after my confrontation at… you mean to ask me whether I’m impersonating a Knight!” “The thought had crossed my mind,” the Sister replied dryly. (novella WIP)

“Do you need to make a stop at your house before we head to the chapel?” Leslie asked as they started off. “What for?” Winnie asked. Leslie looked pointedly at the tip of her galoshes poking out from beneath her dress. With another roll of her eyes, Winnie sighed. “Oh, I suppose so.” (Beneath Alder Creek)

When the third meeting for the Society of the Hidden Immortal Tribe was called for the decade, I knew heads would roll. Gathering the entire society together took months. Everything had to be hush-hush; that was the entire point of spreading ourselves out. Plus, every time a letter arrived in the mail, it was a reminder of the idiot who had decided we needed a name change. Everybody agreed that being deemed the ‘S.H.I.T.’ was humiliating, but nobody could agree on a better title, so it had remained the same for nearly a full century. That was the problem with living forever. You always had more time to make decisions, and, in the end, nothing ever got done. (S.H.I.T.)

When she leaves, I’m not sure I remember a word of what she’s said. But as the stresses of the semester wash back in, and my mind clears like being pulled out of a dream, I suddenly understand how one could crash upon the rocks without realizing they’d ever changed their course. (A Modern Siren)

When Georg arrived later, he found Klaus leaning forwards onto the table, staring vacuously at one of his textbooks. "Studying hard?" he taunted as he approached and dropped into the seat Ingrid had been occupying. "I talked with Ingrid," Klaus explained. Georg's eyebrows shot up in genuine surprise, but he quickly recovered and looked pointedly at Klaus' posture. "Go that well, then?" "She said I'm arrogant and completely self-involved and that I never take what a girl says into account whenever I'm on a date." With a haunted gleam in his eye, Klaus stared up at his friend. "I think she's right." "Well then it's a good thing somebody pointed it out," Georg offered, and he turned to his work. (Castle on the Hill)

Takemoto Hana rested a hand over her face. She couldn’t see the swirling of darkness over her head, but she heard the whine behind its words. With a wry smile, she asked, ‘Do you not know how to brew tea?’ ‘Of course I know how to brew tea!’ The dark spirit’s voice boomed with a defensive defiance that rang false in the funny little woman’s ears. (The Funny Little Woman)

“None of us want to be here right now,” Edgar called out to the hall. “None of us want to go back through the handbook and listen to the steps of proper etiquette in immortality. But it seems that, once again, it’s necessary.” “Dammit, Dave,” muttered the man next to me. I said nothing, but I couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment. Dave was… how do I describe Dave? To call him an idiot would be underestimating his craftiness. To call him a genius, I’d have to ignore all of his dumb antics. Cruel was too strong. Misguided was too innocent. Mischievous fit best, but even that fell short. Dave was a trickster god, if ever one existed. (S.H.I.T.)

Ridiculous, he told me with a self-conscious laugh of someone who didn't expect to be believed. I smiled, but I didn't join in. (The Little Roads)

“Hey, where did Alina go?” Lorelai asked. Zoe shrugged, but Jaiden cleared his throat. “I think you crossed one of her boundaries, Lo. She specifically asked not to involve her girlfriend in this, and then you did anyways. I know we needed the help, but friendships have to be built on mutual trust, my dude. You should’ve at least let her know your plan before you went behind her back.” The two women stopped and shared a look. “Hey, Jaiden,” Zoe asked. “Do you know the capital of Canada?” He shook his head. “I dunno, Ontario?” “Amazing.” (Mirror, Mirror)

"We had a bet going over whether you'd make it in time," Hans told him. "Did you win or lose?" Josef replied. Hans flipped a 5-Deutsche Mark coin over to Peter, who grinned as he pocketed it. "I'm glad you have so much faith in me." Josef's voice dripped with sarcasm. (Castle on the Hill)

Taliesin reached over his head and grabbed at one of the low-hanging bows, picking leaves from it. “I’m not sure.” Winnie stopped. “What do you mean?” “I mean that I don’t know.” (Beneath Alder Creek)

While she attended to these, the man beside her began to stir. Ella could see him out of the corner of her eye, attempting to push himself up into a sitting position. ‘You may want to lie back down,’ she told him, scrubbing uselessly at her skirt. The man continued to sit up anyways, pressing a hand against the side of his face. ‘Am I killed?’ ‘No, but your savior may be.’ Ella threw her skirt back to the ground. ‘When the Madame sees the state of me, I’ll be spending my future afternoons off making a new dress out of the fabric scraps.’ A frown crossed the man’s face as he considered her words, followed by a scowl of understanding. ‘You work for them. The bourgeoisie.’ (Cinderella)

Ingrid took the seat and began digging through her bag for a book. As she did so, she explained, "There were no other tables open in the building - even in the quiet section upstairs - so I figured that I would just ask the first person I recognized if I could sit with them, and well... here we are." "Don't worry about it," Georg answered when Klaus found himself dumbstruck again. "Just ignore the oaf, he'll leave you alone." Ingrid shot a grin at Georg, and Klaus suddenly wondered whether it was a good idea to have the two of them sit together. (Castle on the Hill)

Up ahead, I could see the glass walls of the bus stop. Usually, I waited for the bus leaning against the metal frame of the stop, leaving the seats inside open for children on their way to school. But the seats were empty now. I still avoided them. (Flo’s Magical Emporium: The Pandemic)

Now, I ask that you do not feel too much self-pity. For as easy an error as it may be to mistake a visiting aristocrat’s son for the hired help, the true talent in such a display causing his immediate departure lies within you alone. And to think that the meeting was the work of your father’s tenuous sway over the court! Well, I am sure the time away will do him some good, lest you begin to consider that you’ve ruined his position as well as your prospects. (Dearly Detested,)

Edgar was at the front of the lecture hall, and standing beside him was Dave, smirking as though at some private joke that only he was in on. He was wearing sunglasses, despite the dim lighting of the room, probably because he thought he looked cool. I rolled my eyes. What a tool. (S.H.I.T.)

The work is different now. Countryside pathways winding through the forest lie forgotten for years without the familiar steps of a traveler. Off beaten paths in the city are never unknown for long, and sometimes streets that were once crossed by thousands a day fall back into obscurity. (The Little Roads)

“How much time will you give me to think on it?” she asked suspiciously, wrapping her arms around herself as though afraid they’d reach out to him if not kept in check. “You have all the time in the world,” the golden man said. “The boy’s, however, runs out with every passing second.” He extended his hand. (Beneath Alder Creek)

You ever met a rich person? Not comfortably wealthy. Not ‘my Uncle Kenny is a lawyer’ rich. Not even ‘widow answering the door to her manor on a hill dressed in fine silk’ rich. No, I mean proper, so-much-money-you-literally-can’t-spend-it-fast-enough rich. They say it isn’t worth Bill Gates’ time to pick up a $100 bill off the floor because he’ll have earned more in the time it takes to grab it. That kind of rich. They seem to be bred for times like these. Their houses are a source of endless entertainment – movie theaters, bowling alleys, personal gyms with a view of the sprawling landscape they overlook like cruel dictators. There’s no need for them to leave during a pandemic; they have access to the equivalent of a luxury resort most families have to save up month to visit. Necessities can be stockpiled in one of the useless extra spaces in the house. I mean, I once had to hide out in a luggage room for a contract. That’s right. An entire room dedicated to holding luggage, bigger than some of the apartments I’ve rented. I thought their residential labyrinths were my greatest source of grief. But social distancing? I’m one bad contract away from retirement. (Bounty Hunter During a Pandemic)

Shaking his head, Detlef pulled a new sheet from his notebook. “Look, I’m just saying, if we can get the satire right, we can be a modern Jonathan Swift.” “I don’t want to be a modern Jonathan Swift, I want to be a student actually passing his debate course!” Peter snapped. (Castle on the Hill)

Moonlight illuminated the German’s fair hair and pale skin, the effect more malevolent apparition than man. (Face on the Other Side of a Dark Window)

Back then, he’d been known for commissioning the exact same portrait of himself every hundred years, hanging them in a hallway in his manor and trying to pass them off as his line of ancestors to any of the locals. It had been a far less skeptical age, and Dave had earned himself a small band of worshipers before Jeff Goldblum himself had been forced to intervene. (S.H.I.T.)

Clara stood before the board of advisors assisting with her thesis. She was one, very intense paper away from her M.A., and she wasn’t about to risk it all by being too proud to ask for help. When she’d made the appointment to meet with them, she expected a series of questions surrounding her topic. Instead, they’d opened by offering her a job. “You want me to steal from the school?” Dr. Pye wrinkled her nose at the suggestion. Next to her, Dr. Pritchard said, “Don’t think of it as theft, dear. It’s merely redistribution.” Clara hadn’t amassed tens of thousands of dollars in debt to be lectured on the definition of robbery. “Either way, it involves me sneaking into the Chemistry department and taking a huge risk to get you some new toys to play with.” (Origins: The Ghost)

“Why is undermining Pryderi so important to Queen Ceridwen that she would risk breaking a timeless alliance just to dismantle them?” Her stomach twisted into a knot, protesting against the answer. “There are few members of the Dusk Court that we know by title.” A shadow passed over Enid’s expression. “The Lord of the Undernell is second only to the Queen.” “Great deeds build the reputation of one in their own court. Cruelty builds it in both.” Taliesin buckled under Winnie’s weight as she suddenly leaned against him. (Beneath Alder Creek)

“Why are all my friends so quick to endanger themselves?” I muttered as I packed up Midas’ crate. Natalie swiveled around from the candy aisle. “So you’re finally willing to admit that we’re friends?” “Save it.” (Flo’s Magical Emporium: The Pandemic)

#writeblr #writing #my writing #writers of tumblr #teriwrites #writing wrap-up 2020 #my wips #I forgot just how much I missed my boys from CotH until I was reading through it #wow I would die for those funky little dudes #also feel free to ask about anything for some extra context since I've never talked about half of these projects #anyways that's all folks

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sssshhhthefilmsabouttostart · 3 years

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The best and worst films of 2020

Let’s be honest - 2020 was an extremely shitty year for moviegoers everywhere, as the Queen would say an annus horribilis.

Due to the Covid pandemic’s dramatic impact on nearly every facet of human life, cinemas closed, film festivals went virtual and film productions became an intricate mess of insurance and safety challenges.

Yet despite these dire challenges and an unpredictable future, cinema remained very much alive throughout the year, with a wide range of ambitious undertakings snaking their way into whatever form of release seemed viable. Blockbusters receded to the background, allowing a wide range of movies to trickle through an uncertain marketplace that would have been hostile to them even in pre-pandemic times.

So what cinematic gems and unmitigated disasters were dropped upon audiences during the year?

Ladies and gentlemen, may we please offer for your consideration...

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

THE CURRENT WAR - THE LIGHTHOUSE - IN FABRIC - BEING FRANK: THE CHRIS SIEVEY STORY (D) - BOMBSHELL - THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON - THE SOCIAL DILEMMA (D) - LIGHT OF MY LIFE - THE ASSISTANT - THE LODGE - THE GENTLEMEN - THE WAY BACK - DARK WATERS - 1917 - THE BURNT ORANGE HERESY - THE HUNT

2020′S TOP TEN BEST FILMS

10. THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW

Hot off the critical success of his debut feature ‘Thunder Road,’ writer-director Jim Cummings’ refreshing yet effective take on the werewolf genre amped up the dark comedy whilst delivering quite a few chills. Tinged with realistically flawed characters and clever scares, ‘The Wolf of Snow Hollow’ might not have been your typical werewolf flick but it successfully managed to bring that classic legend to life once again.

9. LET HIM GO

Previously last seen together as Clark Kent’s adoptive parents in ‘Man of Steel,’ Diane Lane and Kevin Costner were reunited onscreen as husband and wife again in writer-director Thomas Bezucha’s neo-Western drama ‘Let Him Go.’ Adapted from author Larry Watson’s 2013 novel, the film featured stunning landscapes, full-blooded moments of sudden violence and compelling performances from Diane Lane, Kevin Costner and, most memorably, Lesley Manville’s turn as a gritty and cunning matriarch.

8. COLOUR OUT OF SPACE

Based on the classic short story by HP Lovecraft and featuring another scene-stealing performance from Nicolas Cage, this clever adaptation was an effective horror film with an unrelentingly grim sci-fi bent. In addition to the truly disturbing and inspired images of queasy body horror, ‘Colour Out of Space’ also marked the eagerly-anticipated re-emergence of filmmaker Richard Stanley (his first time back in the director’s chair since being fired from his 1996 remake ‘The Island of Dr Moreau’).

7. THE INVISIBLE MAN

Who knew a remake could be so refreshing? With this updated take on the H.G. Wells tale, writer-director Leigh Whannell did just about everything right, delivering a tense, clever thriller with touches of both horror and sci-fi. As the fascinatingly flawed yet appealing tough protagonist, Elisabeth Moss gave a captivating performance in a film that was chilling in all the right ways, packed with plenty of twists and a deliciously nasty resolution.

6. THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 (NETFLIX)

Whilst the subject matter of ‘The Trial of the Chicago 7′ shared an uncanny relevance to today’s politically charged times, as a gripping courtroom drama with a stellar cast, the film ticked all the boxes. ‘West Wing’ creator Aaron Sorkin put his trademark traits - razor-sharp wit, rhetorical flair and political insight - to very good use in this masterful retelling of the trial following the 1968 anti-war protests outside the Democratic National Convention.

5. HEARTS AND BONES

In his debut feature film, Australian director Ben Lawrence created a spiritually rich and immersive drama about the relationship between a grizzled, broken war photographer and a Sudanese refugee. Whilst Hugo Weaving was note-perfect in his portrayal as a crumbling man wrestling with his past, equally impressive was first time actor Andrew Luri who delivered a quiet yet memorable performance in what was an affecting piece of cinema.

4. TOTALLY UNDER CONTROL (DOCUMENTARY)

Watching a documentary about the COVID-19 crisis in the middle of a global pandemic might not sound appealing but prolific filmmaker Alex Gibney’s latest work was easily the most essential non-fiction film of 2020. Shot safely in secret for five months, ‘Totally Under Control’ played out like a tightly-wound thriller as it placed the Trump Administration’s inept response to the coronavirus pandemic under the microscope.

3. BAD EDUCATION (HBO)

As far as crime stories go, embezzlement isn’t always the most thrilling subject. However, ‘Bad Education’ turned a relatively simple white collar crime story about a New Jersey school administrator caught stealing money into a compelling drama, thanks to an incisive and nimble script and spot on performances from Allison Janney, Geraldine Viswanathan, Ray Romano and especially Hugh Jackman.

2. MANK (NETFLIX)

Director David Finch’s dazzling portrait of Herman J. ‘Mank’ Mankiewicz, the screenwriter who collaborated with wunderkind filmmaker Orson Welles to write the first draft of ‘Citizen Kane,’ was a cinematic jewel from start to finish. Similar to last year’s ‘Once Upon A Time in...Hollywood,’ ‘Mank’ delivered a layered depiction of the filmmaking process, whilst Gary Oldman continued to excel at immersing himself in playing real-life characters, this time as the hard-drinking, intellectual screenwriter.

1. NOMADLAND

Writer-director Chloe Zhao’s intimate drama about an unemployed widow living as a van-dwelling modern-day nomad was a thoughtful, contemplative and reflective piece of storytelling. It may have touched upon mature themes about loneliness, financial instability and restlessness, but ‘Nomadland’ remained an uplifting and hopeful piece of cinema that captured the various bittersweet reasons people choose to live a life on the road.

With an outstanding performance from Frances McDormand, brought to life through the charm of the ‘real life’ supporting cast, great direction and Joshua James Richard’s mesmerising cinematography, ‘Nomadland’ was the perfect film for 2020.

...AND NOW THE WORST!

DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS

VAMPIRES VS THE BRONX - BAD BOYS FOR LIFE - THE OLD GUARD - PROJECT POWER - ISN’T IT ROMANTIC - THE RHYTHM SECTION - WHERE’D YOU GO, BERNADETTE - I’M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS - MIDWAY - YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT - BABY DONE - FORCE OF NATURE - CAPONE - THE NEW MUTANTS - DOOLITTLE

10. WONDER WOMAN 1984

To quote Red Letter Media’s resident film critic Mike Stoklasa, “this movie was the cinematic equivalent of the Bluesmobile.” Directed by Patty Jenkins, this 80′s-set sequel to the 2017 DC superhero hit was lethargically paced and featured a completely bonkers narrative that made absolutely no sense. Horribly scripted, disjointed and overstuffed (a runtime of 2.5 hours), ‘Wonder Woman 1984′ sadly jettisoned everything that made Jenkins’ original film so compelling. The result? An appalling misfire.

9. THE GRUDGE

A curiously talented and interesting cast were somehow lured into - and subsequently wasted in - this pointless, tired, reboot/revival of the long-running ‘Ju-On’ Japanese-based horror series. Despite director NIcholas Pesce’s attempt to disguise the rudimentary nature of the plot via back-and-forth timeline jumping, ‘The Grudge’ was just a formulaic paint-by-the-numbers meander through a poorly developed story that existed only to prop up a bunch of uninspired jump scares.

8. BIRDS OF PREY (AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN)

There are many movies that have no reason to exist - and this latest misfire from DC Comics was one of them. Directed by Cathy Yan, ‘Birds of Prey’ was a mire of uninspired ideas and recycled genre conventions that got old real quick. Penned by Christina Hodson (’Bumblebee’ being the ‘highlight’ on her resume), the script was as simplistic as it was thin, with needless subplots merely introduced to inflate the film to a decent running time. Even Margot Robbie’s manic performance as the ‘Mistress of Mayhem’ couldn’t save this mess.

7. JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT

What could’ve been a dream film for fans of these two classic stoner characters instead was nothing but a string of cameos and callbacks in a plot-less bore. Director Kevin Smith sucked all the life and fun out of this watered-down story, that suffered from a constant series of awkward and forced jokes that were painfully unfunny. An unfortunate stinker.

6. AVA

This latest foray into the ‘female assassin for hire’ genre was about as cliched as you could get. An emotionally troubled female killer whose male mentor assumes the role of the surrogate father? Check. Pounding dance music score? Check. Obligatory nightclub fight sequence? Check. Confused love interest? You betcha! Humourless, dry and uninspired, ‘Ava’ played out like a poor man’s ‘La Femme Nikita.’

5. FANTASY ISLAND

Hollywood’s obsession with repackaging Gen-X childhoods continued with this absurd attempt to reboot the classic 1970′s TV series as a low-budget horror joint under the Blumhouse label. At a dangerously close two hour runtime, there was simply nothing interesting about the film’s characters or its inane plot about a mystical island that grants wishes (a’la ‘The Monkey’s Paw’). Our advice? Turn ‘de plane’ around if you ever plan to visit this ‘Fantasy Island.’

4. ARTEMIS FOWL

For every ‘Harry Potter’ that explodes into the public consciousness, there always seems to be a dozen or more failed franchises. Sadly, Disney’s ‘Artemis Fowl’ found itself in the latter category. Director Kenneth Branagh’s dull and superficial attempt to transfer this popular children’s book series from page to screen suffered from a lack of character development, an over-reliance in CG effects and featured a lifeless performance from newcomer Ferdia Shaw as the titular character.

3. HUBIE HALLOWEEN (NETFLIX)

A month before last year’s Oscar nominations were released, Adam Sandler joked on ‘The Howard Stern Show’ that if the Academy snubbed him for his role in the film ‘Uncut Gems,’ he would make a movie “that [was] so bad on purpose.” And that’s exactly what happened. Supposedly a comedy, ‘Hubie Halloween’ was unfunny, disposable and completely devoid of any originality. Sadly for audiences, Sandler signed a four-movie deal with Netflix last year, worth up to $275 million - so we can expect to see more of this shit soon!

2. ALIEN ADDICTION

Aliens visit New Zealand and get high smoking human faeces? Someone should have advised Kiwi director Shae Sterling that audiences have moved on from such puerile comedies as this abomination. Suffice to say, if anybody ever admitted to finding this film remotely funny, they’d probably be outcast from society. An embarrassment to all those involved.

1. THE BEACH BUM

Director Harmony Korine’s generic stoner comedy about a prolific poet who drifts through life in a drug-induced haze had all the natural high of an unfiltered, soggy joint and was easily, hands down, 2020′s worst film.

‘The Beach Bum’ was a pretentious and uninteresting movie whose lead character, considered to be an ‘artistic genius,’ was nothing more than a relentless shithead to everyone around him. As Moondog, the semi-naked, bongo-playing, pot-fuelled beat poet, Matthew McConaughey was insufferable and grating in his portrayal of a character you would quite easily want to punch in the face - repeatedly. Blazed and confused, ‘The Beach Bum’ had no plot, no class and no entertainment value whatsoever.

MOVIE POSTERS

From the classic to the abstract, here is just a sample of some of the best poster designs from a highly unusual year of movies.

...AND FINALLY, WHEN WHEN IT COMES TO DIRE-LOG, THEY SAID WHAT!?

“I've never wanted anything more. But he's gone, and that's the truth. And everything has a price. One I'm not willing to pay. Not any more. This world was a beautiful place, just as it was, and you cannot have it all. You can only have the truth. And the truth is enough. The truth is beautiful” (’Wonder Woman 1984′).

And who could forget this little chestnut of advice...

“That is the only truth and truth is all there is. You cannot be the winner because you are not ready to win. And there is no shame in that. Only in knowing the truth in your heart and not accepting it. No true hero is born from lies” (’Wonder Woman 1984′).

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crookes-library · 3 years

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Fanfic Year in Review 2020

Tagged by the continuously wonderful @kirstenseas TY hun

1. List of fics completed this year:

I know what you did last night: The Untamed - WangXian

Seasons: TLK - Uhtred/Finan

We’re All Fools Here: TLK - Uhtred/Finan

Amber: TLK - Uhtred/Finan

What Would I Be: TLK - Uhtred/Finan

Echoes: TLK - Uhtred/Finan

Moon & Stars: TLK - Sihtric/Ealhswith & Sihtric/ Osferth

Osbert: TLK - Uhtred/Finan

The scent of you: TLK - Uhtred/Finan

& a bunch of Ficlets

Are we noticing a theme? Uhtred/Finan are just that special blend of best friends to lovers & old marrieds that makes me want to tear my face off so I will probably not ever stop writing them

2. Number of words written:

67,112 words published on AO3 & about 2.6k in tumblr prompts not to mention the scraps and notes I’ve got here there and everywhere which is more than I’ve written in like 8 or 9 years? I’m pretty damn happy about that tbh

3. Your most popular fic this year:

By far ‘I know what you did last night’ which I like to believe is cause its cute but also because its a much bigger fandom and a much more popular ship

My most popular TLK fic is ‘What Would I Be’

4. Your personal favourite this year:

This is difficult because there’s a few I’m fond of but I’d say its between Seasons and Osbert.

‘Seasons’ because it really kick-started my writing this year and I was really proud of it. It felt pretty true to the books and I enjoyed weaving in the little moments between Uhtred and Finan. I’ve debated messing with the end but I’m still very happy with it overall

‘Osbert’ because it came out of nowhere and just ended up so nice? It was originally going to just be a vent fic of Uhtred’s frustration at being injured/in pain and unable to do things he would normally do because at the time I started writing it I was commuting to work and the chronic pain I get from my hip dysplasia was flaring up real bad but then Finan just took over and decided Uhtred deserves all the softness like he so often does lol

Honourable mentions to The scent of you because it was super fun to write and The Bodyguard because I just enjoy the concept

5. Your favourite scene:

Little Stiorra threatening to fight Finan’s secret lover for his hand in marriage in Amber so she doesn’t have to marry any stinky boys. I love love love Stiorra, she’s my baby and Uhtred and Finan just having a quiet afternoon being fond dads gives me all the warm & fuzzies

6. A fic or scene that challenged you:

Can I say all of them? Cause if so all of them, writing is hard and I am a very tired person who second/third/fourth-guesses every damn word

Mostly The Bodyguard though because its the first long fic that I’ve even attempted since like my ff.net days. I know what I’m doing with it/where I’m going but actually getting it all down is hard and slow going and I’m trying to forgive myself for that and not pressure myself and end up sucking out all the joy because I really do love it and I want to keep loving it

7. A line of writing you’re proud of:

Cheating with a couple lines from What Would I Be because it was one of those middle of the night-can’t sleep-sudden inspiration-omg the gay yearning of it all-things that I just really liked.

Once the clean-up is done Finan finds him. There is an easiness in the way that Finan folds into his embrace, steady and familiar. Finan pokes at his ribs when they draw back. “You were worried,” Finan teased, eyes warm with amusement. “As if I’d waste the energy on your scrawny arse,” Uhtred scoffed. But Uhtred was worried, he was, he was, he is.

8. A comment that touched you:

I’m someone who reads and re-reads my AO3 inbox constantly whenever I’m feeling stuck or I’m having a Bad Brain day and I need the serotonin so its hard to pick one because I’m honestly touched by anyone who takes the time to comment but a special shout out to The Enablers and to @deespiegel because they’re all just so? lovely?? I wouldn’t have written half as much this past year without their encouragement

9. Something that inspired your writing this year:

Uhtred Uhtred Uhtred ❤ I literally cannot emphasise enough how much he means to me and with S4 & the last book coming out I just fell so deeply back into my feels. Looking forward to the next book has gotten me through some really low points the last 13/14-ish years and what is fic if not an outlet for dealing with a story you love coming to an end? Also just the TLK books in general, BC has a terrible (brilliant) habit of writing the main character and his best friend as just super married in his books but Uhtred/Finan might actually be the craziest example yet of all his books that I’ve read. The last 2 books especially (Sword of Kings & War Lord), how is my little gay heart meant to handle knee touches and worrying and inside jokes and “Did he touch you?” HOW?? BC ANSWER FOR YOUR CRIMES

The Enablers have also been an endless source of inspiration and encouragement. I used to be such a fandom lurker, I was too awkward and shy to talk to anyone but now I have like actual fandom friends?!! And they’re just such amazing people?!! Cannot believe, they’ve really kept me going this past year ❤

10. Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc)

The fact that I’ve written more than I have in absolutely forever and also committing to a long fic, its not done yet but just the fact that I’ve started is huuuuge for me

11. Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

To finish The Bodyguard and just keep writing :)

I think all the enablers have already been tagged so anyone else who wants to do this have at!

PS Please make a new post if you do :)

#my writing #fandom #tag games #the last kingdom

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gchoate17 · 3 years

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I set a personal record this year and read 33 books, all of them for the first time with the exception of Tim O’Brien’s THE THINGS THEY CARRIED, which would be in the top 10, but I excluded it because I’d already included it in a previous year’s top 10. That being the case, here were my favorite 10 of 2020:

1. Hourglass by Dani Shapiro (2017)

Perfect pacing, honest and forthcoming. I finished this one and had the feeling I'd found my new favorite writer. I'm looking forward to reading her other works, but also, I'm looking forward to reading this one again -- I rarely want to reread a book. Also, she read the audio book herself and does a fantastic job. She felt like an old friend by the time I'd finished the book.

2. Calypso by David Sedaris (2018)

Sedaris is one of the best storytellers alive. He may be an asshole, but he’s a good storyteller. I enjoyed listening to him process some things in his life that required him to go beyond the surface of his feelings in this book.

3. Devotion by Dani Shapiro (2010)

I have no special interest in Judaism and I’ve never practiced yoga — two of this book’s primary subjects — but I’m discovering I have a deep appreciation for Shapiro’s specific brand of mining memories, her commitment to turning over all the stones in her life, her deep concern for the things she loves. A lot of writers can accomplish those tasks, but her even pace makes her work especially endearing. I’ve only read two other authors’ books back to back: When I discovered David Sedaris’s NAKED and ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY in college, and when I followed up Stephen King’s ON WRITING with MISERY. Now, with Shapiro, I followed HOURGLASS with DEVOTION, and I don’t know that I’ve ever been as excited to start reading a book as I am right now with INHERITANCE.

4. Inheritance by Dani Shapiro (2019)

In HOURGLASS and DEVOTION, Shapiro’s voice is confident about her place in the world, even though she says otherwise. Her Jewishness that she struggles with in DEVOTION is something she’s always struggled with and so she’s comfortable with that. In HOURGLASS, she knows she’s so far beyond Jacob’s medical scare that she’s at least somewhat comfortable discussing it, and Michael is a sturdy partner and so she can explore the relationship safely. But in INHERITANCE, it feels like we’re getting real-time life turbulence. I appreciate the quest element such a setup provides, but I also miss Shapiro’s confidence. I’m saying all this so I don’t gush too much in three consecutive reviews for the same author, but the fact remains, this is a wonderful book, and I immediately began listening to her podcast. If someone asks me who my favorite writer is, I’d have a hard time not saying Dani Shapiro at this point.

5. How Fires End by Marco Rafala (2019)

I love a multi-generational family story and this one was done especially well. I enjoyed having multiple narrators to provide multiple points of view on the single family narrative that showed itself throughout the course of the novel. Rarely does a book continue to gain speed all the way to the end, but I found that this one did. This felt like one of those debut books a writer has always known he will write because it draws on so much of his life up to that point. I'm curious what his next one will look like, but whatever the subject, I'm going to pick it up. Highly recommend this book that has some mass literary appeal.

6. Heavy by Kiese Laymon (2018)

Laymon is candid about his experiences with sexual abuse, physical abuse, and his addiction to food. But this is not a book about those things as much as it is simply about a kid growing up black in Jackson, Mississippi. And it’s delivered honestly, eloquently, and wonderfully.

7. Heirlooms by Rachel Hall (2016)

This collection of (tightly) linked stories beautifully illustrates how families metabolize trauma over time, from one generation to the next. And it's a reminder of how we never know the backgrounds from which people have come. 8. Becoming by Michelle Obama (2018)

Slow start, but once Barack comes onto the scene and this becomes -- in a way -- their love story, things picked up drastically. Michelle has always struck me as reluctant to be involved in politics, and that allows her to be sincere in a way that is incredibly rare. I miss them.

9. Choke by Chuck Palahniuk (2001)

** spoiler alert ** I don’t regret seeing the movie before reading the book (though it has been a decade since I saw it), but I couldn’t not see Sam Rockwell as Victor. I don’t think that hurt anything. Maybe it’s the nature of my own shame — I got caught listening to the audio book at full volume by semi-acquaintances multiple times — but some of the sexual descriptions felt gratuitous, even when writing about a sex addict. By the end of the book, though, everything hits perfectly. Everything served its intended purpose. Strongest, most brilliant moment for me was Dr. Marshall’s reveal.

10. One Summer by Bill Bryson (2013)

During the two and a half months I casually read this, my wife grew tired of me saying, "Did you know that in 1927..." A fascinating portrait of the United States at a fascinating time.

Biggest Disappointment: 31. The Elephant Vanishes by Haruki Murakami (1993)

First time reading Murakami and I'm not sure what I'm missing. The NYT blurb on the book is "Charming, humorous and frequently puzzling." I think my disconnect is that I don't want to be left puzzled.

Previous Book Lists: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011.

#dani shapiro #books #lit #literature #best books #best books in 2020 #lists #end of the year #2020 #best of #best of 2020

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rsadelle · 3 years

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The best books I read in 2020

I read 167 books in 2020, which is a little more than one and a half times as many as I read in 2019. (I had a crisis of counting at one point when I read a string of novellas, but ultimately came down on the side of if I can check out the ebook from the library as a single volume, then it counts as a book for the purposes of my list.) Only ten of those are books I reread, which is a fairly low reread number/percentage for me. The large number of books I read this year made it extra difficult to narrow down a small number of the best ones, which is why this list is longer than in previous years. It is, in fact, long enough that I have put it behind a cut to spare your dash.

Top 11 fiction books/series I read for the first time in 2020

Bread Alone trilogy (Bread Alone, The Baker's Apprentice, and Baker's Blues) by Judith Ryan Hendricks - I so enjoyed this trilogy about bread baking and figuring out your life and building a home/community and love. I read it at the beginning of the pandemic, when everyone was baking bread, and it was one of those things I was sad to finish because I didn't want to leave the characters.

Never Have I Ever by Joshilyn Jackson - I have read a lot of suburban housewife with a secret books over the last couple of years. This was an excellent example of the genre with the good use of a thematic motif and a second secret reveal after you learn what you think is the biggest secret. Content notes: I had to skim a few chapters because of the large amount of weight and disordered eating content (which is relevant to the character), and there is sexual abuse of a young teenager by an adult as part of the story.

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin - This was such an interesting concept and done so well. It was one of the most popular books my sci fi book club read this year, and the New Yorker in our group said it was her favorite New York book ever. The most disappointing part of this book is that it's the first book in a trilogy and the other books haven't been published yet. Content notes: eldritch horror and realistic racism.

The Sci-Regency Series (My Fair Captain, The Englor Affair, My Regelence Rake, Diplomatic Relations, and My Highland Laird) by J.L. Langley - The delightfully ludicrous premise of this series is that there is a gay Regency society in space, which makes for some really fun romances. I've loved this series for over a decade, and I was thrilled to reread the first three books before reading the two new books that came out this summer. I recommend reading the novels in order, as there is an overarching plot involving the Intergalactic Navy that is interesting and ongoing without overshadowing the romances. Content note: these are on the erotica end of the romance spectrum, which means they have very explicit sex scenes. I wrote a lot more about this series in a Yuletide promo post comment.

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo - I was so sad to finish this book! I have read a lot of commercial/literary fiction about families in the past few years, and this might be my favorite. I found the characters really compelling and enjoyed seeing their differing perspectives. I didn't want to leave this family.

Throne of Glass series (Throne of Glass, Crown of Midnight, Heir of Fire, Queen of Shadows, Empire of Storms, Tower of Dawn, and Kingdom of Ash) by Sarah J. Maas - This YA fantasy series shouldn't work given its constant escalation, and yet, somehow it does. I greatly enjoyed it, and I cried more than once at the last book. This is a series where I recommend not reading anything about future books until you've read all the books before them so you can enjoy the continual reveals. These are very much genre novels, and if you don't like the genre, these books will not be for you. Content note: there is a lot of genre-typical violence.

The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai - I admit that I was mildly skeptical about this book given that what I knew about it was that it was a story about the AIDS epidemic where one of the two timelines is about a woman trying to reconnect with her daughter, but I ended up loving it. The two alternating timelines fit together beautifully, and I thought it did a good job of not eliding the horror of the AIDS epidemic experienced by the gay community in favor of the straight woman's experience. I do remain skeptical of how many awards it won; while it was a genuinely excellent book, I also know that awards bodies love dead queer people.

We Set the Dark on Fire and We Unleash the Merciless Storm by Tehlor Kay Mejia - I loved this YA dystopianish (more cultural class divide than apocalypse or singular villain in control) duology about queer women falling in love while working toward revolution. The world building was good, the plot was good, and the romance was good.

Sisters of the Vast Black by Lina Rather - This novella about an order of nuns who travel through space in an organic slug-like spaceship was absolutely wonderful. It deals with issues of faith, purpose, central control, and doing what you can to make the world a better place.

Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson - I loved this YA novel in a sort of Regency-ish setting about a girl who grew up in a library full of magic books and her dealings with some sorcerers, complete with a romance. Content note: attempted mental coercion and institutionalization.

The Wren Hunt and The Wickerlight by Mary Watson - This is a YA duology about rival druid groups in modern day Ireland. I found both books totally compelling with interesting druid politics and magic. It was also really interesting how well we get to see the worst of both sides of the rival druid groups in the two different books.

Top 5 books/series I read and then thought about a lot in 2020

The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher - A friend recommended the author to me. This particularly book is a supernatural horror novel I don't necessarily recommend. However, I have continued to think about elements of it since I read it. (Before you @ me about the author's other work, this was the third of her books I read and the other two were in the more beloved fantasy novel genre.)

The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal - I actually didn't like this book that much. We read it for a book club, and it had an interesting concept that wasn't super well executed. However, I have thought about elements of it a lot since then, particularly in comparison to some of the other sci fi I encountered this year.

Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - I don't know how much "I actively thought about these a lot" describes my actual experience of having read these, but given their popularity and the number of conversations I had about them, I can't omit them from this post entirely. I liked the first one once I figured out what kind of story it actually was, had absolutely no idea what was happening at any point in the second one, and discovered with both of them that I have a much more limited vocabulary than I thought, at least when it comes to death-related words. I am invested enough that I will read the third book when it comes out, but probably won't read any more of the author's work beyond that. If you want to know more about what I thought, I wrote a very spoilery post about them.

The Sixth World (Trail of Lightning and Storm of Locusts) by Rebecca Roanhorse - This is a pair of novels set in a post-apocalyptic world where there's a magically/divinely-erected wall around Dinétah (the Navajo lands). The worldbuilding and characters are so interesting, and it's a series where some of the details stuck with me and I would randomly think of them. I'm looking forward to reading one of her other books in a few months for my sci fi book club.

Wild Mercy: Living the Fierce and Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics by Mirabai Starr - This was one of two books about women mystics I read and disliked this year, and the more disappointing of the two as I'd heard an interview with the author that I found interesting. I continued to think about this one a lot in an angry, "and another thing!" way, which did help me articulate more of the things I dislike about new age-ish framing of "feminine" wisdom/divinity/knowledge.