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mandoalorian · 3 years

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I Believe In Love [Maxwell Lord x F!Reader] — Eleven: Love - SMUT

Summary: When you find your calling to leave Themyscira, you venture out to the World of Man with intentions of helping and healing a very specific person’s relationship with his son. You’ve heard his voice before, but only in dreams. You’ve felt his pain and anguish and you’ve never been able to relate to anything more. But things don’t come easy for you, and they certainly don’t come easy for him either. [This series contains spoilers for WW84 and is my interpretation of what happens after the movie ends].

Warnings: 18+ smut, unprotected p in v, cunningless, tit play, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, cursing, food and drink mention, emotional because we’re nearing the end, a family being brought together and our favourite soft, sad dad loving his son and, well… you.

Word count: 4300>

REBLOGS APPRECIATED.

Masterlist

Previous - Chapter Eleven - Next

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Just entering Black Gold Cooperative again, when you thought the previous night would be your last, drew tears to your eyes. This extensive size office was the place you’d first journeyed too upon venturing to the world of man. The building meant more to you than you had first realised, and it held so many amazing memories of self discovery. Your eyes flicked between the velvet sofa where you had once slept on, and the plants that peppered each corner of the lobby. They were vibrant and filled with life, symbolic of new beginnings. Now, the only magic in the air was love. You could feel it, Maxwell could feel it, and from the way Alistair perked up as you sneaked up behind him, he could feel it too. Love truly was the most powerful thing.

Seeing the way Alistair ran into his father’s arms, and the way he squeezed Max so tight -- like he was afraid to let him go, was enough to make your heart melt into your chest. “Daddy! You’re back!” he exclaimed excitedly. “Did you win?” He asked, his dark brown eyes glittering with hope. Alistair tugged on Max’s dark blonde shaggy hair as he waited for a reply.

“Yeah buddy, I won,” Max chuckled breathlessly. With those two words of affirmation, Alistair burst into tears. You took a step back as you watched the interaction, sensing how high the emotion was. You knew that Max had waited for this day to come for a long time. “No no, don’t cry. You should be happy.” Max cooed apologetically, his eyes widening as he tried his hardest to comfort his son. You were no longer a Goddess, and you had been stripped of your powers, but you could still feel the compassion between them both. And it was beautiful.

“I am happy,” Alistair choked out in between sobs, pulling back to look at his father. Max wiped away Alistair’s tears and offered him a weak smile. “This is all I’ve ever wanted.” Alistair confessed, nuzzling his face into his father’s chest.

Max sniffed and pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead. “I’m going to redeem myself for everything, Ali. I know… I know I’ve done terrible things and made big mistakes, and I really am a pretty messed up loser but--”

“No,” Alistair cut him off, his tone chaste. “Daddy, you’re a winner. Thank you for fighting for me.”

“Always,” Maxwell hummed, picking up Alistair and cradling him in his arms. “Let’s go home.”

***

Maxwell drove, and Alistair insisted that you sit in the back of the car with him. You obliged, unable to ever refuse the bright eyed little boy. Alistair’s small, clammy hands squeezed yours and he watched intently as you gazed out the window, entranced by all the things you passed. There was still a lot you had to get used to, but it brought you comfort knowing that now, at least you had the time. There was no pressure to return back to Themyscira. D.C. was your home. Wherever Alistair and Max was, you were home.

Alistair nuzzled his head into you and closed his eyes, feeling completely content with your company. “I like your new outfit.” he hummed, his fingers tracing your glimmering gold belt.

“You do?” you asked curiously, and felt Alistair nod against you. “You know Ali, I sorta prefer the normal clothes.” you shrugged, and caught Maxwell smiling in the reflection of the rear view mirror.

“I like this,” Alistair admitted. “You look like a superhero. Like… from my comic books.”

“You don’t need a fancy costume to be a hero, Alistair,” you said, tapping his chin so he looked up at you. “Your dad is proof of that.”

***

Maxwell dropped his keys on the side table by the front door when the three of you returned home. “Are you guys hungry?” he questioned, scratching the back of his head. After a day in court, he’d worked up quite the appetite, he must admit.

Alistair grinned and nodded his head. “Starving! Can we get pizza? Please daddy, oh please can we get pizza?”

“Hmph,” Maxwell grumbled, displaying a faux annoyance before bursting into an adorable grin. “I suppose so. Since it’s a day to celebrate.”

“Yay!” Alistair cheered, running into the living room and jumping on the sofa. By the sounds of it, he’d found the remote control for the television and turned on one of his favourite kiddie TV shows.

Walking over to the telephone, Maxwell caught a glimpse of his reflection in one of the many mirrors in the hallway and frowned. He was happy, but Gods did he still look a mess. The blonde in his hair was rapidly fading out and he was in desperate need of a trim. He’d been neglecting his biotin supplements and forgetting to moisturize, and oh, his tired eyes. You caught him hyper analyzing his appearance and approached him from behind. Pressing a kiss into his shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist, you sighed.

“What are you thinking about?” you wondered out loud.

Maxwell swallowed. “I just… I’m not the man I once was,” he ran his fingers through his hair and gestured down to the power suit that he’d worn to court. “I’m not Max Lord anymore. Not this… big oil tycoon businessman. Not on TV anymore. This whole thing is a facade. It’s not me. And everytime I look at myself… I’m reminded of all the mistakes that I made,” he admitted quietly before taking a shaky exhale. “It’s fine,” he quickly backtracked. “Guess I’ll just have to suck it up.”

“The worst part is over, Max. And you’re a survivor,” you told him, taking his hand. “The world can forgive you, but it means nothing if you can’t forgive yourself. You need to learn to love yourself.”

“Will you help me?” Maxwell asked quietly, a nervous tone prominent in his voice.

You offered him a warm smile. “That’s why I’m here,” you reminded him sweetly. “To help.”

Maxwell turned around to face you fully and placed a hand on your cheek. You swore, in that moment and under his touch, that you had forgotten how to breathe. Max might not have been able to see it, but he truly was so beautiful. The gold in his former life may have been gilded, but the gold in his heart was pure and authentic. And now, it was all yours.

Maxwell pulled his tie off his neck and shuffled out of his suit jacket. “I think it might be time for me to hang up this tie for good.” Maxwell sighed sadly, running the patterned silk material between his fingers.

“Do you want to?”

Maxwell paused for a moment. “No, I don’t think so. I’ve worked so hard to get here… I just can’t give Black Gold up.”

“Then don’t.” you whispered, shuffling your body into his. He snaked an arm around you and sighed even louder.

“It’s not that easy, darling. I don’t have the money to keep it going.”

“I won’t let you give up on your lifelong dream, so… we’ll figure something out. Maybe you’ll have to downsize. If oil isn’t making you any money then maybe… you might have to specialise in something else. If the past week has proved anything it’s that all our problems can be figured out through the power of love. And you have that. Right here,” you maneuvered his hand and placed it on your heart before pointing your free hand into the living room at Alistair. The door stood slightly ajar. “And right there.”

Maxwell smiled. “There’s a thing, here. In the world of man…” you could tell he was about to start rambling about Goodness know what. He looked up slightly, avoiding your eye contact as he talked. “Where two people… love each other, a lot. And so they make a promise to dedicate themselves to one another. Asking you to be my girlfriend sounds a little childish,” Maxwell chuckled softly and your eyes widened when you realised where he was going with this. “But I guess… if you wanted…”

“I do!” You said quickly, cutting him off before he could even finish.

“You do?” Maxwell asked, truly stunned that you had agreed so fast. He couldn’t believe someone as magnificent as you would love him back, let alone want to be with him. He never thought he was deserving of love, especially after everything that had happened. If Maxwell had never met you, he would’ve been certain that he’d grow old, cold and alone.

“I do.” you confirmed, grinning and pressing your lips into his.

The genuine smile that was on his face when he pulled away was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. More beautiful than the sands and oceans on Themyscira. More beautiful than the landmarks and caves in Athens. It differed to his television smile. This was one hundred percent authentic. This was Maxwell Lorenzano. “I’m going to change into my pajamas,” you announced. “And I’ll bring Ali upstairs with me and have him get ready for bed.”

“Okay,” Max acknowledged, still grinning. “I’ll set the dining room table for the pizza.”

You guided Alistair upstairs and followed him into his bedroom. You sat down on his bed, and pulled him down to sit next to you. “I told you I had a gift for you, from Athens.” you smiled and watched as Alistair’s eyes lit up with excitement.

“Yes!” Alistair cried out, bouncing up and down.

You detached the lasso of Hestia from your tunic and placed the rope gently in his hands. “This is my lasso of truth. Remember that one night when I met Julianna and Theodore, and I came to visit you? And I showed you how it worked? Do you remember?”

Alistair nodded slowly. “Yes. You told me the lasso wasn’t powered by you. It was powered by the truth.”

“That’s right,” you confirmed, your heart swelling at how Alistair had retained that piece of information. “The lasso is important to me because it was a gift from my mother. And now, I’m passing it down to you. I didn’t get this in Athens, but it is from Athens originally. I hope my lasso will be a constant reminder for you to always tell the truth, and always see the good in people.”

Alistair’s jaw was agape and he was struck with awe as his fingers traced the magical rope. “I love it…” he whispered.

“I’m glad,” you smiled. “It’s very powerful Ali. Who knows, one day you might be able to use it.”

“And I can be a superhero just like you…” Alistair grinned before biting his lip. “And just like my daddy.”

“Exactly. Just like your daddy. C’mon now, I want you to go brush your teeth and get ready for bed. Then we can go order our pizza, okay?”

Before you left his bedroom, Alistair called your name. You sensed hesitancy in his voice, almost like he was nervous. “Can I… can I try out the lasso... on you? Maybe?”

You wanted to ask him why the child might possibly want to do that, but then you realised, he was probably just curious. So, you obliged, and held out your wrist. Remembering how you’d shown him before, Alistair wrapped the rope around your arm and took a deep breath.

“Do you love my daddy?” Alistair asked, after taking a deep breath.

“Yes.”

“Will you promise not to leave him, ever?”

“I promise.”

“Would you mind if… if… I called you mommy?”

You felt warm tears prick the corners of his eyes. A mother. It’s everything you had always wanted to be. You were the goddess of home and hearth. The urge to one day have a family was in your nature.

“I’d love that, Ali.” you admitted.

Alistair pulled the rope from your wrist and enveloped you into a tight hug. “Okay. Because I love you mommy.”

“I love you too.”

***

“What do you want?” Maxwell asked his son, pen in hand. He’d been scribbling down the order, the businessman in him wanting to have everything planned out before he made the phone call.

“Pineapple pizza! The biggest one!” Alistair exclaimed gleefully, stretching out his arms. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ali, you won’t eat it all,” Maxwell frowned. You nudged him, as if to say, ‘let him have this’. “Okay,” Max sighed. “The biggest pineapple pizza. And what do you want?” he asked, turning to you this time. You furrowed your eyebrows together, taking another look at the menu that had been passed around the dining room table.

“How do I know what’s good?”

“Well, not pineapple.” Maxwell grumbled.

Alistair gasped, unable to believe the words that had just left his father’s lips. “Don’t listen to him,” Alistair said, grabbing your hand. “Daddy is wrong. Pineapple pizza is so delicious. Will you try some of mine?”

You squeezed the little boy’s hand. “Sure,” you agreed. Maxwell swore his heart melted everytime he witnessed interaction between you and his son. It was so pure, it was like you and Alistair had known each other forever. Granted, you’d known the little boy longer than you knew Maxwell. The day you woke up in the park felt like yesterday. “What do you like, Max?” you quizzed, eventually giving up on the menu.

“Pepperoni, I guess. I don’t eat pizza much.” He admitted sheepishly. Before you could reply, Alistair’s voice made you jump up in shock.

“Boring!” He called out. Max shot him a playful glare and you rolled your eyes.

“Don’t be rude!” Maxwell chastised, wiggling his index finger, and you couldn’t hide the smile on your face.

“He’s like you,” you pointed out. “Always has something to say.”

“My son.” Maxwell declared proudly, pulling Alistair into his lap and ruffling his dark hair.

Just like Max had anticipated, Alistair couldn’t eat the large pineapple pizza. In fact, he’d fallen asleep on the sofa after only two slices, a Star Wars blanket draped over him and a stuffed toy curled tight into his chest.

“Alistair asked me if it would be alright if he called me mommy,” you admitted quietly as Maxwell gathered the plates and empty glasses. His head snapped to face you the second the words left your lips. “I told him yes. But I figured… maybe you should have some say in it? I don’t know.”

“It means a lot to me that Ali can put his faith in you, and that he sees you as his mother. But this is a big deal. Family is for life and I don’t… he’s already lost one mother. I don’t want him to lose you too. So of course, it’s fine by me. As long as you promise to always be a mother to him, no matter what.”

“Always,” you whispered in reassurance, cupping Maxwell’s cheek and gazing into his dark eyes. “I promise.”

“I believe you,” Maxwell replied, kissing you on the forehead. “I should take him to bed.”

“Let me handle it,” you replied, stretching before leaning down to pick up the sleeping boy and cradling him in your arms. Clearly, somewhere down the line, you had forgotten you had been stripped of your powers and you were now a mortal. You let out a yelp. Once able to carry Alistair easily, you were now struggling. You wobbled slightly and Max hurried to your side to hold you and help you keep your balance.

“You okay?” Max asked, quirking an eyebrow. “He’s heavier than he looks.” you gasped, already a little breathless.

“Wanna trade?” he quizzed, raising a plate.

You mumbled a ‘yes’ and passed Alistair over to his father. “I’ll do the dishes and meet you upstairs.”

***

Max was still with Alistair by the time you had finished up the dishes and headed to the bedroom. You sat by the dressing table, brushing out your hair, and looked at the pile of discarded armour sat in the corner of the room. Maybe one day it would come of use, but for now, this was it. This was the start of a new life where you didn’t need no Amazonian armour. With Maxwell and Alistair, you had all the protection you could ever need.

“Hi,” Maxwell whispered, padding into the bedroom. You turned to face him and smiled. “I’m glad to be home… now… with you. Glad this is all over.”

He placed his hands on your shoulders and began to rub them affectionately. “Me too.” you replied warmly, leaning into his touch and nuzzling your head into his chest. You closed your eyes in contentment. Every second you spent with Max, you spent wishing it would last forever. Although you knew better than to make a wish.

“Are you tired?” Max pondered, smoothing out your hair and admiring your face.

Pushing back your hair and admiring your beauty was up there with one of his most favourite things to do. Your eyes looked like home, your lips tasted like home. You were home.

“Mm, no, not really…” you confessed, staring at the image of both you and Max in the reflection of the dressing table mirror. But Max’s gaze was fixated only on you. “Actually. I had an idea, since you know, we’re celebrating and all,” you confessed after a brief moment of comfortable silence. Maxwell raised a curious eyebrow and waited for you to continue. “Remember our first night back in Athens when we…” you trailed off and glanced over towards the bed.

“Yeah.” Max answered, already breathless from the thought.

“I liked it a lot.” You admitted bashfully as you reminisced on your first time with Maxwell.

“Me too.” he agreed.

“So do you want to do it again…?”

Max didn’t reply with words, but instead he pulled you up from the stool that you were sitting on and twirled you around so you were facing him. He crashed his lips onto yours and let his large hands freely roam your back, desperate to feel every inch of your body. He’d been waiting to do this again.

Without breaking away from the kiss, you pushed him towards his bed and climbed on top of him. You straddled his hips and began to run your hands over his chest, leaning over and kissing along his jaw and down his neck. Feeling his cock already hot and heavy, he cursed under his breath, dipping his hand under the hem of your silk nightgown and smirking upon finding that you weren’t wearing any underwear. He slowly slid his thick fingers between your folds, causing you to gasp at the sudden bolt of pleasure that ran through you. His thumb began to circle your clit and you dug your fingers into his shoulders as he worked at your bundle of nerves.

He loved to look at you and watch as your face twisted in pleasure. He liked to know you were feeling good. His fingers were like magic, and he truly had a golden touch.

“Want you to cum on my fingers, okay?” Max asked, increasing the speed. You tried to push out a word but just came out as a mangled moan. You nodded your head, feeling your cunt desperately clench around nothing and your thighs tighten as you neared orgasm.

When you came undone, Max’s dark eyes gleamed with desire and pride. He pulled his fingers from under your nightgown and placed them on his tongue, sucking your arousal from his own digits.

“You taste amazing baby,” He praised, unable to contain his smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You replied back with a smile.

Both you and Max made your way over to the bed, stripping yourself out of your clothes and intertwining your bodies together.

“I don’t ever want this moment to end.” you confessed with a shaky exhale as Maxwell squeezed your breasts, peppering kisses down the valley of your chest.

“It doesn’t have to, princess, we have the rest of our lives to spend together.”

There it was again. The dumb nickname he’d called you from the day you first met. You’d insist that you weren’t a princess, and by no means royalty, but to Maxwell, you were. You were his princess. A rose stuck amongst a bush of thorns. You were the epitome of hope, beauty and love. And you were all his.

So the nickname grew on you, and you’d come to like it.

You felt the tip of Maxwell’s cock tease against your entrance as he swiftly rubbed his length up and down, between your glistening wet folds. By the time he pushed himself inside of you, just the scrunched up look on his face was enough to make your stomach erupt into butterflies. The crinkle in between his eyebrows and the way his perfect lips parted into an ‘o’ shape as your walls clamped around him.

“Fuck, you-you’re so tight,” He gasped, the Adams apple in his neck prevailing as he tried to swallow away his desire. “Always so tight. So per-perfect. Good girl. Such a go-good girl.” he praised, a small strand of dark blonde hair falling out of place and crossing his forehead.

You shuddered at his words.

“Look at me,” you begged, and he obliged, his chocolate coloured eyes snapping open. Despite the glaze of lust that seemed to cloud his vision, he was able to fixate on you, spending a few moments adoring your face -- the face he fell in love with -- as he remained seated deep inside you. He was stretching you open and Gods, it felt delicious, but you needed more. You desperately needed more. “Move, please.” you whimpered, bringing your hands up to cup his face.

Maxwell began to rock his hips into yours, his cock hitting that sweet spot inside of you with every thrust. He leaned over you and pressed his forehead against yours as he picked up his speed. “Don’t be too loud,” he warned quietly, his warm breath fanning over your ear.

It wasn’t long before he felt his cock twitch inside of you. “Shit,” he moaned, squeezing your shoulder to signify that he was close. “Neither of us are protected-- fuck, I need, I need to pull out.”

“Mm, no, no Max. Keep going. Don’t stop.” You begged, your fingers tugging on the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You could get pregnant.” he rasped out, suddenly remembering you were now a mortal.

“Would it really be so bad?” you asked, and your question alone was enough to throw Maxwell over the edge.

Would it really be so bad?

You had a point. Max had never imagined having any more kids. Hell, he’d never really planned on having Alistair. But times had changed, and he was so in love with you. He figured -- maybe kids were something he could give another go at. Little mini you’s running around the house would simply be so adorable. And who better to have children with, than the goddess of home and hearth? Having a family was written in your destiny. It was always meant to be. Given the time and the place, the prospect of having kids, getting you pregnant… it just felt right.

The start of a new life… both figuratively and literally.

Of course he was certain that this was what you wanted, and evidently, you wanted it to. But the idea of seeing you swole and round, carrying his children… well that was a whole different thing.

“Fuck princess, you’re gonna look so good carrying my baby.” Maxwell grounded, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck.

You felt your orgasm wash over you, and your walls clamp around his cock. That was enough to push him over the edge.

Maxwell came inside of you, and he made sure to cum deep, too. Once he’d regained his breath, he grabbed two pillows from his side of the bed and propped them under your butt so the lower half of your body was higher than your upper half.

“What are you doing?” you giggled.

“Making sure not a drop of it goes to waste,” Maxwell replied as he pressed sloppy kisses along your inner thighs.

And when he caught a glimpse of his seed beginning to spill out of you, he plunged his index finger and pushed it back in.

“I love you so much.” You whispered as Maxwell smoothed out your hair and kissed your lips.

“I love you too, darling. And I can’t wait to embark on this new life together.”

You pondered for a moment, relishing in the comfortable silence before you brought your index finger and pointed it towards Maxwell. “Life is good, but it can be better.”

Maxwell was trying his damn hardest to fight the grin that was edging to cross his lips. How could one person be so adorable?

“It can always be better.” he whispered, bringing his hand down to your stomach and kissing you again.

———————————————

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sweetsbfreex · 3 years

Text

you’re amazing, don’t worry

A few days before you were laying in bed. Harry laid on his back, while you were on your side, his arm wrapped around your shoulder and your head on his chest. Watching the television displayed on the wall.

“Can we talk about something before we both doze off?” he asked quietly, his arm going lazily up and down your arm.

“Sure” you replied sitting up, crossing your legs. While Harry also sat up, pausing the tv too.

“I know we’ve talked about it a few times, but I think we should go public” he said quickly, which is something when you’re speaking about Harry.

“You- you wanna go public, like let everyone know we’re dating?”

“Yeah I mean, you know the movie premiere is this weekend and I really want to walk the red carpet with you by me” he stated, reaching for your hand in the midst of it.

“H-”

“I know, I know baby, but I think this could be the perfect time. We can get it over with” he said shuffling closer “I could finally show my girl off to everyone hm?” placing his palm on your cheek, thumb grazing the apex of your cheek.

You loved Harry; you really did. He is your person, but you just weren’t sure about this. Having to put up with your social anxiety, big events, crowded places, and new people just weren’t your thing. You remember the first time you had met the band, a fidgeting mess, was all you were.

The door opened to his studio, a smiling, giddy Harry on the other side. You however, were the complete opposite. Your stomach was a mess and your fingers wouldn’t stop fidgeting with the rings on your fingers or the necklace around your neck.

Harry could see from the doorway, pulling you into a bone crushing hug (letting the door close behind him) filled with love, whispering into your ears words to affirm you. “Hi, you’re amazing, don't worry,” he said kissing, your lips.

You smiled up at him showing your thanks, clasping your hands together “Thank you...Oh also can you let the lady in the front office know I said good morning back, my voice just wouldn’t project,” you whispered the last part, earning a chuckle from Harry.

“Yes I'll do it, you about ready to meet everyone” he asked, looking down at you, concern displayed on his face from the way his eyebrows furrowed together.

“Can we just stand out here for a bit” you asked.

“Of course, just let me know when you’re ready. I promise they're not as bad as I make them seem” he says grinning, as he brings his hands put to clasp your face, setting kisses to your forehead.

When you were finally ready, Harry opened the door, your hand holding onto his tightly, as you trailed behind him.

‘Am I walking funnily? No you’re fine just don't trip or anything’ you tell yourself, breathing a deep breath in holding it and letting it go.

“Lads this is y/n!” he pronounced elatedly, stepping to the side so you would be in view, looking down at you tranquil. You could see, looking back a thin briefly the crinkles around his eyes were striking and his dimples deep.

“baby, this is Mitch, Sarah, you already know Jeff, Ny Oh, Adam, and Charlotte”. You knew Mitch was a man of not many words, so you weren’t too worried about conversing with him.

‘don't sound stupid, don't sound stupid, don't sound...’

A variety of heys were thrown at you from everybody in, you squeaked out a hi hoping everyone had heard and a wave.

Harry had then pulled you both to sit down in one of the free spaces of the couches resting against the walls of the studio.

“So y/n, H says your interning at Pinterest, that’s really cool” Sarah says

“Oh yea..Uh, I just look at a bunch of numbers and statistics, nothing too fun” you say, your voice wavering. But inside you could swear your heart was doing cartwheels when you had realized Harry talks about you to his friends.

“I don't think it’s boring, she’s brilliant, she looks at all these gigantic numbers and comes up with these summaries, it’s amazing” Harry parades, wrapping his arm around your torso.

“Thank you H” you murmur, your cheeks heating up.

As the time continued before you had to go. There was a lot of Harry intervening because you weren’t really sure what to ask or say, too on the fence of not embarrassing yourself in front of his friends, but luckily as time went on things had gotten better, to the point you didn’t break down before hanging out with any of them.

“But all those people bub and the cameras, I don’t know, my anxie-”

“I know I can’t control it, but I’ll be there with you the whole time. You don’t even have to tell me your answer right now, whenever you’re ready okay?”

“Yea, thank you” you say. Getting up to stand on your knees, pulling Harry into a hug. A breath of relief coursing all over you.

“You don’t have to thank me, petal, just want you comfortable”

Now here you were getting ready for the event, sporting a beautiful black dress that had an ascending slit running up the side of the dress.

“You look beautiful, angel” harry gushed walking over to you, taking your hand as he guided you to do a quick twirl “very easy on the eyes” using that same hand to stop your twirl and instead pull you into him, stationing his second on the curve of your ass.

“Are you sure if you’re having any doubts it’s ok” he repeated for the umpteenth time. You don’t mean to sound the way you do, you were grateful of course for how caring and understanding he is.

But ever since you had told him yes, he’d check every day till now, just to see if you were sure, reassuring you that he wouldn't be mad if you change your mind, etc.

“Harry-”

“I know I know, but I also know that you don’t like thinking that you're disappointing me”

“I hate you,” you mumble, bringing your forehead to rest against his shoulder, hating and loving the fact that he knew you so well, you could barely hide anything if you wanted to, but he couldn’t either.

“Mhm” he hummed, grinning down at your distraught stance.

You brought your head from his shoulder, smiling up at him for reassurance “I promise I'm fine, it’s okay”

This was not okay, you should’ve listened to Harry.

Now in the limo, on the way to the event, it was you, Harry, the band, Jeff, and his girlfriend–Glenne.

Your foot tapped arrhythmic, both hands tightly clasped around one of Harry’s. It felt like you were going down a really really really high rollercoaster, with how your stomach was twisted a never-ending knot of wires.

fuck, did it really hurt.

“Love are you sure you’re okay?”

“mhm” you responded, nodding quickly letting go of the tense hold you had on Harry’s hand.

Conversation was flying around you, but you couldn't find yourself to join in with how into your head you were. Thought after thought flying high and low, some doubtful, some embarrassing, and some down right annoying. But you couldn’t help it. What if you had something in your teeth, or you stood awkward, or you trip just walking down the carpet (over nothing which would be even worse).

God, you were a mess. And the intense analyzing look Harry was giving you was not helping.

“Okay we’re here guys!” Jeff let out, clapping his hands together a singular time, while everyone else let out their excitement.

‘When did the car stop?!’

Jeff was the first to get out, everyone else following suit until you were the only one. Looking up from your seat near the door, Harry stood outside, hand reaching out towards you.

“You ready love?”

You could feel your throat clogging up from those words, the wires in your stomach only getting tighter by the second and in seconds your trembling hands were reaching up to wipe the tears running down your cheeks. Staring at all the interviewers with mics standing to the side of the carpet, the barricade holding back fans, and all the other people strutting their way down the carpet you weren’t sure you could handle all the eyes that would possibly be on you.

“I- I don't think I can do it, I'm sorry H,

I thought I could. I can't. I'm so sorry” you rambled, sniffling time to time. Finally looking up into Harry’s sad eyes, you also caught the glance of everyone else who looked at you with solace.

“shh shh,” he started, passing through the door again to sit adjacent to you, quickly clasping your face in his, using his thumbs to brush away the never-ending tears.

Your makeup was ruined, nose a debacle, as you tried bringing yourself together, but that didn't seem to work as you only began to hyperventilate.

“Oh y/n” he said, bringing your head to lay on his chest, grabbing the handkerchief to wipe away at your runny nose. “Mate we’re gonna head out, Jeff let whoever needs to know it was an emergency or something, please,” he asked Jeff, awaiting his response until he could finally close the door which he did quickly.

“No no Harry you can't miss this, please I’ll just go home, it’s fine”

“it’s not fine, I'd have to be out of my mind to leave you like this, petal, it’s okay I'm not mad I promise” he reassured.

On the way to his place the tears never stopped, thinking of how you had not only embarrassed yourself, but Harry too.

“I'm sorry I'm really sorry H,” you cried into his chest, even his expensive suit you were messing up, this night could only get better. Only getting a hush and words of reassurance from Harry.

You were laying on his bed, phone in hand as you scrolled through twitter. You knew this would happen, but you were just hoping by some miracle it wouldn't have, that maybe you’d finally reign control. Harry was in the closet putting on his sweats, and also fetching your makeup remover and clothes for the night.

Harry Styles Ditched his OWN Premiere?!

What Happened to Harry Styles Tonight?

And last, but not least

Harry Styles and Mystery Girl!, A picture of you and Harry in the limo, thankfully your face covered as it was pulled into Harry’s chest protectively. And another exactly like it, only difference is Harry’s distraught face was shown looking up at Jeff’s.

“You shouldn’t be reading that rubbish,” his deep voice takes you by surprise, looking up as he stood in front of you. Your clothes in one hand and cotton pads and your make up remover in another.

“I know” you mumble. “I couldn’t help myself”

“Do you want to get dressed, and we talk afterwards”

“Yeah” you say grasping the pile of clothes from his palm. Setting them on the bed as you stripped and changed there. Once you were done, you climbed on the bed sitting across from Harry who had just finished dabbing some of the liquid into two cotton pads, handing you the other one.

You started removing the mascara and eye shadow, since they were sensitive, while Harry began wiping down your cheek.

“I'm sorry I embarrassed you, H”

He stopped his actions, dropping his hand away from your face. His eyebrows brought together and his mouth a line of what you could describe as disgust, but not likely, and one lip tucked up.

“Why would you say something like that?” he asks, he grabs both your hands guiding you to sit on his lap. Your legs straddling his waist, wrapping both your arms over his neck. He sighed into your neck, bringing one hand to stroke the back of your head. “You didn’t embarrass me, baby, you reacted. You can’t help it, and I would never hold that against you, Yea?”

You nodded meekly in response.

“I’m proud that you even tried to begin with, I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have forced you to go.” he says.

“Thank you... And it isn’t your fault, you didn’t force me to go. Just...I don’t know. All those people H, what if someone figures out it’s me. Now everyone will see me crying like a baby, it’s even worse that your friends saw me like that.” you sniffle.

“I know I can’t magically fix this, but I promise you don’t even have to worry about them. They understand and won’t bring it up” he says trying to reassure you.

“And if the public figures out it’s me, that’s a terrible first expression” you chuckle lowly.

Harry let’s a small laugh come out in return, grasping your face to pull you closer. “We’ll get to it, if it happens...how about after we get ready for bed, we go drive around a bit. Would that help a little?” he asks, eyes overflowing in empathy.

“Yes please. Thank you again. I love you” you answer sniffling a small smile upon your face.

“I love you so much more”, he says bringing you in for a cuddle.

“We’re not starting this again” you grumble into his chest, receiving a giggle from him.

if you enjoyed pls don’t forget to reblog or give feedback if ur up to it <3

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles angst #harry styles x y/n #harry styles reader insert #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles fanfic #boyfriend! harry #harry styles fic #harry styles preference

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anythingforspence · 3 years

Text

the capstone - chapter one

Summary: Reader is a semester away from getting her masters in Psychology and duringher last semester she has to complete her capstone, or passion project if you will. This year, the professors decided that each student will be personally mentored by a psycologyst in distinct fields. When Y/N meets hers, she can’t decide whether she is lucky or if it will be a long 5 months.

Pairing: Female reader x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1.8 k

Chapter warning: harsh language, sexy talk, no smut yet

A/N: omg tysm for all of the love on the teaser post. i hope i dont dissapoint.

Although I’m wide awake, I let my alarm clock keep beeping and beeping and beeping as I stare up at the white ceiling of my cheap studio apartment. My neighbor woke me up bright and early this morning by doing what sounded like lugging a dead body throughout his apartment. I lifted my head slightly just to slam it back against my bed, whining about being awake at 5:30 am. I’m probably just nervous. I have to complete this passion project for my psychology class by being mentored by a famous psychologist and write a paper about their career and their wisdom I guess. I have a meeting with my mentor today and I don’t know what to expect. My professor kept the identity of our mentors a secret. For the “excitement” and whatnot.

With a sigh, I swing my legs over the side of my bed and bend over to switch off the alarm. Resting my elbows on my knees, I run my hands down my face, basically prepping myself for the fact that I have to stand up soon. The moment I stand, I stretch all throughout my body, ending with my hands high above my head, stretching into the ceiling. My mouth getting ready to yawn when a bang was heard next door, like a book being chucked against the wall ajoined with my neighbors apartment causing me to yelp. I’m pretty sure I heard a chuckle in response to my scream. I glared at the wall, thinking of all the ways I could storm in there and punch my neighbor. I had two choices. I could storm in there and do all the things I wish I could do, or I could mind my business and get ready for the day.

Rolling my eyes I decided to just get ready. I still wanted payback, however, I blasted Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by The Smiths as I head into the showe. I grab brown trousers, a white button up, and a sage green set of lace undergarments. Not that anyone would see them, unfortunately there has been a drought of sorts in my pants. I just wear them for the aesthetic. Getting undressed, I put on my favorite playlist with all of the songs that make me feel like I’m the main character in an indie film. I heard a light tapping at my door, like some wanted my attention but at the same time wished I never paid attention to them. I decided to ignore it and step under the stream of water in my shower.

Once I was all finished with my shower, I stepped out into my foggy bathroom. Singing along to Bug Collector by Haley Heynderickx, I start drying off and slip on my outfit for the day. I keep my hair in a towel to help it dry some so I don’t have to use any heat on my hair. For my makeup I decided to go for a red lip, neutral blush, mascara, and brows today. Something simple and professional. I let my hair out of the towel and brush it out, not doing too much to it. Blowing myself a kiss in the mirror, I grab my purse and wrap my student ID around my neck, letting it fall next to the golden flower chained to my neck.When I open the door, I laugh in shock at the note my neighbor left for me.“nice taste in music”

I felt something against my leg and knew exactly who it was. “Hi, Payton,” I sweetly spoke to the Sphynx cat at my feet. I named her Payton even though she’s not technically mine and just wanders through the apartment complex. I bend down to give her scratches at her neck. “How’s my cutie patootie. Did you see the asshole who left this not?” She just tilted her head more into my hand, telling me to keep on scratching. “Guess not.” I stand back up and check the time on my watch, “Shit”. I had five minutes to get there.

-----

A bell rang as I entered the coffee shop I was supposed to meet my mentor at, of course with my favorite mask on. My eyes scan the place a little before I walk up to the counter to order my favorite drink. “Hi can I just get a 16 ounce Earl Grey, please?” The barista said something along the lines of yes of course and how my total was 2.16. “Alrighty, thank you.” It didn’t take too long for it to be done. They weren’t very busy and it’s just a tea bag and hot water.

“Excuse me, are you Y/F/N Y/L/N?”

Woah. His voice sent a tingle down my spine. Probably just because I haven’t had much human contact or the fact that I haven’t been laid in a while but, my god, what I would give for him to say my name again. But that was nothing compared to what I saw when I turned around. I’m just glad I was wearing a mask so he didn’t the way my lips parted when my eyes met his. He had curly brown hair and he dressed like an old man, doesn’t sound like much but for me, that’s everything. Oh my gosh, and he had nerdy little cute glasses? When I realized I was staring I averted my eyes and started blushing.

“Um, yes, hi, that’s my name. I’m so sorry, but what’s your name?” The tremor in my voice made me want to just drop dead. I’m a woman of science but if the Earth knew how to open up and swallow people, now would be the time to prove it.

“Oh hi. I’m Doctor Spencer Reid. I’m your psychology mentor. Did your professor not tell you?” He seemed so confused, oh my god he’s so cute.

“Oh. Oh my God I’m so sorry! My professor didn’t let us know who was mentoring us, just in case we did prior research or something. I’m sorry. But yes um I’m Y/N. It’s very nice to meet you, sir,” I kept on rambling, looking anywhere but his eyes. Unfortunately, it made me look like I was checking him out. Oh fuck.

Chuckling a bit, he goes, “Oh no your fine. No need to apalogize. It’s a pleasure to meet you miss Y/N.” Not going to lie, the way he said my name sent tingles to my pussy. Oh my god what is wrong with me! I can’t be thinking these things about the person who is going to mentor me! Stop being so horny.

I started to blush and I cleared my throat and gestured towards the window. “Um, should we go sit out there?”

“Oh yes of course. Please after you,” he said, his hand finding the small of my back, hitching my breath and making me nervously mess with the rings on my fingers. We sat at the iron tables outside of the coffee shop, he pulled my chair open for me, finally his hands off of me. I felt like I could breathe again but at the same time I felt sad, empty. He took off his mask to take a sip of what he was drinking and holy shit. He had some scruff and his lips just looked so inviting. I wanted to distract from the silence that was biting at me. “So, uh, what do you do?” My voice trailing off, making everything so much heavier with awkwardness and the sexual tension that was just coming from me.

“What do you mean what do I do?” Fuck. I looked so stupid of course he does something in pschology. That’s the whole reason you’re here.

“W-well, um, like what specific area do you work in?”

“I do criminal profiling with the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI.” My eyebrows bunch together in confusion. What does that have to do with psychology? Almost as if he’s reading my mind he continues, “We psycho analyze crime scenes, victims, bodies to understand why a criminal would do what they did, which helps us to understand the type of person they are, their background, and it leads us to the criminal, or unsub.”

“Wow that’s actually really cool. But, like, how does that all work?”

“Tell me, Y/N, when was the last time you had sex?” I didn’t say anything. I was so shocked. First off, how inappropriate, but also how did he know? “When I first walked in, you kept on looking me up and down as if you’ve never seen a man before. You keep fidgeting with your rings. Usually new jewelry makes people fidget but the stains on your fingers suggest you wear rings frequently which means you're nervous. Also ever since I’ve taken my mask offyou haven’t stopped staring at my lips. So, sweet girl, tell me when was the last time you were satisfied?”

I just sat there, gapping at him like a fish out of water. What was I supposed to say? Why thank you for asking, although the last time I’ve had sex was a year ago but the last time I’ve orgasmed has been longer? Before I could come up with an answer he got a phone call. Someone named Morgan needed him or something. Whatever it was, it seemed urgent.“Sorry our meeting got cut short, Y/N. Very important FBI business came up. Here is my card, has my name, email and phone number. I recommend calling me because I don’t usually check my emails or my texts. Your professor already gave me your contact information so I know how to find you. I am very excited for the upcoming months.”

“Oh- uh, thank you,” I whispered, still shocked. He grabs my hand so that he can hand me my card since I haven’t moved a muscle.

“Oh and Y/N?” My head wips up at him and I let out a “hmm?” that could be mistaken for a moan. “Green is a nice color on you.” Confused, I looked down to see my button up shirt had popped open, letting my green covered tits be seen by the world. Eyes blown open, I immediately cover myself and say a thank you that sounded so embarrassing because my voice cracked. He just chucked and told me he would contact me soon. Before he left, I could’ve sworn he looked at me as if I was a sexy hollywood actress or something. But I brushed it off. Maybe he was concerned for me. After all, I had my tits out and made it obvious that I was desperately horny. God these five months will be awful if I keep thinking about Dr. Reid as a sex partner than a mentor. Then again the concept of having sex with your mentor can be hot. Nope. No. I should stop there.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #dom!spencer #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut

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pascalpanic · 3 years

Text

Blood, Sweat, and Tears (Javier Peña x f!Reader)- Chapter Two

Summary: Javier Peña has been on your mind since your first chance meeting, and you’ve been on his.

W/C: 2.2k

Warnings: language, Javi has dirty thoughts about reader but nothing is explicit

A/N: This chapter is kind of exposition heavy, so I’m going to post Chapter Three pretty quick after this! That’s where things start picking up.

previous chapter | next chapter

Two nights later, you finish your shift at 2:04 A.M. once more. It was far from as bad as a few nights ago, the night the woman died from the gunshot. The night you met Javier.

You had thought about the man a lot. He’d given you his business card, in case you ever needed American help, but you knew it was just for the phone on his desk in his office. It wouldn’t really connect you to him.

He was handsome, and you had caught yourself daydreaming often over the next two days. Thinking about his eyes, his beautiful dark brown hair, the way his mustache worked perfectly on him.

Finally, you caught Connie as she was walking in. You grabbed her arm quickly and gave her a smile. “Hey, Connie. Can we talk quick?” You ask, and she nods, confused. You pull her into the nurses’ break room and lock the door, and her brow furrows.

“What’s up?” She asks, very confused.

“I, uh… what do you know about Javier Peña?” You ask, letting go of her hand and standing a bit back from her. Your crush might be evident in your voice, you have to admit.

Connie raises an eyebrow and those massive blue eyes grow slightly wider. “What about Javier? What do you know about him, did something happen? Please don’t tell me don’t tell me you’re in some kind of trouble-,”

“No, no, it’s nothing bad,” you ensure, a dopey smile on your face. “I met him the other night at the gym, actually,” you chuckle, tightening your ponytail. Your nervous giveaway. “He seems really nice, and we talked and we figured out that I know you and obviously you know him, and-“ you start to ramble.

Connie cuts you off, holding your forearm and leading you to the table, sitting down in a way that suggests you should too. “What do you know about him?” She asks again, concerned, but you give her a knowing look.

“We all know Steve isn’t a janitor, Connie. I was talking with Javier, I figured out he’s… DEA,” you say in a hushed tone. Connie’s eyes widen but you shake your head again quickly. “It’s okay, I promise I’m not working for Escobar or anything. I told him that too, as I guessed it, and he told me I was right. He’s really damn cute,” you laugh nervously, admitting. “Does he have a- is he… single? Available?”

The nerves fade as Connie realizes the reason you pulled her in here. “Honey, Javier is a total playboy. He sleeps with a lot of women around here,” she admits, making you warm inside from a light amount of embarrassment. “Like… a lot. He’s a really great guy though, and it’s funny that you ran into him like that,” she says, trying to put a positive spin on things, as her style is very much trademarked by.

“So… you’re saying I shouldn’t really…”

Connie shrugs a little, blonde ponytail swinging behind her. “It’s not gonna be something serious,” she shakes her head, taking your hand in hers. “And I really want the best for you, and for Javier. You’re both two people I really like and want to be happy.” She smiles softly, leaving you smiling back. Her energy is infectious, no matter what mood it is. “Just keep that in mind if you happen to run into him again.” She gives your hand a gentle pat and stands. “Go on home, girl,” she says and waves you towards the door, unlocking and opening it.

You nod, swinging your purse over one shoulder and your gym bag over the other. “Thanks, Connie. You’re amazing,” you say, patting her shoulder as you leave the room.

Against her advice, you don’t go home. You want to see Javier again, want to risk it, and so you walk the opposite way: towards the gym.

You had been on his mind lately too. You were beautiful, and so kind and innocent. Your excitement over seeing another American made him chuckle a little when he thought about it, usually earning some kind of tease from Murphy across the desk.

Javier had casually asked about you, mentioning your name to Steve, but he said he’d never heard Connie mention that name. He brushed it off and said it was something he was looking into for that hit the other night- technically not a lie.

He thought about your ass in those leggings, the way your chest jiggled in that tight top, your ponytail bobbing along.

No, he couldn’t deny it, he found you incredibly attractive. It wasn’t just your body, though he did find that to be something else entirely. You seemed like such a good person, and he analyzed every word you said to him that night. How the hell could a person stay in a foreign nation after being dumped, especially in a place like Bogotá? You stayed because you helped the hospital, and the thought was novel. You must be really stupid or really kind, he thought to himself. Maybe both.

He had stayed late at work for two nights, which was unsurprising considering his workload, but he had forced himself to go home around nightfall.

Tonight, however, was late, and he found himself thinking he’d just keep working and then he’d hit the gym on the way home. It was entirely for his health, not to see if he could run into you again. He knew nursing held odd hours, especially in a place like this, but he hoped that maybe he could catch you again.

It wasn’t often that Javier takes on more work, but he even dares to take one or two of Steve’s files tonight. Out of the goodness of his heart, he tells himself, not so he can stick around until specifically the 2:00 hour rolls around.

When you finally reach the gym, you lock yourself in the bathroom and change into a fresh pair of clothes for working out: leggings, an old tank top, and your running shoes.

You hum to yourself as you lock your bag in the metal cubbies and find your way to the boombox, turning on the American station again. You don’t know if he’ll show up tonight, but it’s all you want. To see him again, to keep talking with him. He was fascinating when he finally opened up a little more last time. He talked about his favorite bar in town, his latest work assignment, what life was like growing up in Laredo. He was funny, too, sneaking sarcastic little remarks in between comments. It was nice to talk to someone who understood. Especially nice considering he spoke English.

You hop on the treadmill with a little extra pep in your step, starting with a jog.

The treadmill runs a thirty-minute period, and you sigh in relief and slowly walk as it makes you cool down after the intense workout. The sigh has an additional meaning: no Peña to be found. You head to the weight rack, hoping to bide additional time and maybe catch the man. No one has used the rack since him, you notice, or whoever did last uses the same weight. You get beneath it and give it a push: it’s not really too bad. He was grunting and groaning over this?

The door creaks and you look up, grinning as you spot a dark brown head of hair and a mustache to match. “You call this weightlifting?” You tease as he walks in. “I did this when I was like 13.”

The man smiles as he hears your voice. “I’m kind of out of shape,” he admits as he walks in, locking his bag in a cubby as well. “Trying to get back into things.”

“At 2:07?”

“You’re here too, are you not?”

“Touché,” you shrug, setting the bar down again. He groans as he gets on the treadmill, starting the machine up. A few moments pass, each of you doing your own thing. “Another tough night?” Javier shakes his head. “When isn’t it?” he groans, running a hand through that dark hair you’ve been thinking about far too much for comfort lately. You give a little nod, which he sees in the mirrored wall. “Lots of paperwork, no paper trail whatsoever. Escobar is a slippery bastard.”

You nod again, taking in his words. As much as you had been dreaming of this situation for the past days, you aren’t quite sure what to say now. To be honest, you’re exhausted from the long shift and from your full running session. The silence rests for a moment before your thoughts slip from your mouth before you can stop them. “Are you a field agent? Like, do you do stakeouts and stuff?”

The innocence and curiosity in your voice makes Javier smile a little. “I am, and you could say that. That kind of thing, follow up on warrants, gather information.” He bites his lip a little at the last bit- gather information. Yeah, that’s what he does, just… in an unconventional way.

“Have you ever met Escobar? Like, I know he got put in La Catedral, did you meet him then or anything?” You ask, a little more excited and intrigued than you’re hoping to sound. It’s interesting, though.

The man seems to humor you by answering. “No, we got close a couple of times, but I’ve never met him or seen him in person.” He keeps running, making his answers a little choppy from his heavy breathing.

You nod at that. “Interesting.” You sit up, running a hand over your damp face. “I… I’d love to keep chatting, but I’m kind of exhausted. I did my whole workout before I got here, and I just worked a long shift, which means my back is kind of killing me…” you trail off, wishing you didn’t feel so close to falling asleep. He nods, understanding. “I did get to talk with Connie Murphy tonight though,” your mouth babbles, before you can catch it.

“Oh, about what?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I mentioned that I met you, that I thought it was funny we ran into each other.” “And what did she tell you about me?” he asks with a groan, knowing that Connie probably knew his bad habits better than Steve. Connie was better at observing, noticing one too many Jack Daniels bottles or a spare pair of panties left around his apartment.

You shrug, not wanting to give your hand away quite yet. “Well, she thought we all still thought Steve was a janitor at the embassy. She tells people that, did you know that? We all know that’s bullshit,” you laugh and shake your head, grabbing your sweatshirt from your locker. “She also told me she thinks you and Steve are sleeping together,” you say, your face hidden from him and holding a sneaky smile.

“What?” Javier whips around, almost falling off the still-moving treadmill. “Why the fuck would she think that?” he exclaims, actually curious as to what would put the thought in her mind.

You turn, barely holding in a fit of giggles, biting your lip to hold a smile. His confused and almost angry expression cracks into a smile and he shakes his head, causing you to finally let the laughter out. “Oh my god, the way you reacted, maybe you are,” you tease, unable to hold back the smile. “No, she didn’t say that,” you laugh as you pull the warm material over your cooling skin. “She didn’t say much,” you bluff. It’s different to see this man with the knowledge you do have, fully cognizant that his body count is probably very high- sexually, although he may have a high kill count too, you realize.

“Well, that’s good,” he chuckles and turns again.

“Good, huh? You got some deep dark secret?” you ask, tossing your drawstring bag over you shoulder and folding your arms across your chest.

Javier rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling. “Go home, you’re tired,” he tells you, hopping back onto the rolling track and jogging along to it.

“I’m taking that as a yes,” you call out behind you as you walk out of the gym, the night air hitting your sweaty skin and feeling wonderful. You let out a deep sigh, giggling to yourself as you walk along, your arms wrapped tight around yourself. You had made him laugh.

The man is smiling as you leave too, continuing to run for a minute or two more before stopping. He’s tired, and besides, the reason he came here just left. He lets out a soft chuckle as he remembers you teasing him, his face tingeing pink as he thinks of your sarcastic attitude. Javier leaves the gym about eight minutes after you, a similar smile gracing his face as he walks down the darkened streets of Bogotá, back to his apartment.

#javier peña x reader #javier peña #javi peña #javi peña x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pascalpanic #narcos #narcos fanfic #blood sweat and tears

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di-kutla · 3 years

Note

Okay, apologies but I am going to ramble into your inbox and... ah, if you don't want me to, please just tell me?

I know I've made it clear that I'm frustrated with how the show is going but there are still tiny little details I can't stop staring at/analyzing. One such scene was when Cid was giving the boys the new job to Raxus and how Tech acted in that scene.

First off, his little jump when Cid mentioned Raxus. He was so excited about the idea, at least that's how I read his voice/expression in that second? I mean look at the boy! He likely wanted to go to Raxus his whole life, and now he gets to???

And then, even more interesting (and frustrating, because of what could have been!!!), was the fact that Tech was going to take the datadisk for the bounty from Cid. He was all for the job the instant Cid said it, because he sees it rationally instead of emotionally like everyone else in his team does.

He's going to take it but Hunter snatches it before Tech can, as Tech was the only one for taking the job at that instant. He even looks... excited? I don't know but there's no apprehension in his gaze that I can read at all here.

Once Hunter takes it though, look at Tech's expression shift...

I don't think he expected Hunter to take it? He seemed so excited/ready to take the job?

Then...

Tech looks over at Hunter with a ??? sort of expression, then he looks down briefly, as if he's... upset? I don't know how to voice what he's likely thinking in this moment...

and then!!! Tech... glares??? At Hunter?

First he just stares at Cid while Hunter talks to her:

And then, when Hunter turns back to his brothers, Tech looks like this ???

I saw that expression on Tech and I THOUGHT, like an idiot, he was actually going to stand up for himself and argue against all of his brothers saying "no" about the mission, by suggesting that there was no reason to not do this mission.

He sees it logical, as the only power is the Empire now, and the Seperatists are not their enemy, as the war is over. He sees the mission without sentiment like his brothers do and I would have died to see Tech stand up for one of his ideas and argue with his brothers, since he always looks to Hunter for permission/agreement/reassurance (such as when Singh told Tech to take the AT-TE down the alleyway and Tech looked towards Hunter for reassurance) on everything?

Sorry for blabbing at you like an idiot, but I just... wanted to see Tech stand up for himself? To actually not be his usual compliant/submissive self for once? But HAH, no, how dare the writers even think of challenging themselves and developing relationships between the brothers??

Plus adding Hunter's line that he always expected they'd end up going to Raxus eventually, I have to wonder if that's something the team has talked about before. I looked up info on Raxus - both canon and legends - to see if there was any specific detail that would get Tech that excited, but other than it being the center of the Separatist senate there wasn't much

Which makes me wonder why Raxus was a world of interest, but also has me wondering more of the details of their past missions. We know Anaxes was a favor to Cody, but other mission details weren't ever discussed, and so other than stealing Separatist information the only thing I could think of them going to Raxus for is for an assassination mission, and now im wondering if theyve ever been on missions of that sort.. hmm...

But thats another post for another time, and not the point of this ask akdjskdsl BACK TO THE BOY

I don't think we've seen this level of excitement from Tech so far, and the same can be said with his behavior toward Hunter.

We see Tech get annoyed with Wrecker, bicker and snark with Echo, I could go on and on about how I think he feels toward everything with Crosshair, but we haven't really see him get... anything with Hunter

Like you said, Tech is viewing the mission from a logical perspective - with the creation of the Empire, there are no Separatists. The Republic vs. Separatist conflict is over. We see that Tech is able to detach his emotions from situations (his explanation of what the war was like to Omega in Reunion) far more easily than the rest of his brothers. Hunter, Wrecker, and especially Echo (for good reasons) still have that emotional response and connection that Separatists are the enemy. No questions asked. I mean, its a huge reason for their existence as a whole, all the clones were taught and conditioned to see Separatists as the enemy

Going back to Tech's reaction to Hunter, I'd say he definitely meets Hunter's decision with surprise, bc well. The war is over, there's no reason for them to have any bias against a Separatist senator right? And like Cid says, a job's a job, and they need the credits.

It's this reaction right here that stands out to me the most

At least going off of my own physical mannerisms, the way Tech is holding his arm - I tend to do that when I'm trying to speak up about something, or when I'm nervous about talking. I couldn't find a gif of this scene to use here, but Tech also draws his arm to him a little closer and leans a bit more toward Hunter before dropping his arm and leaning back away and letting Hunter continue on with Cid.

So I really I don't think it'd be too off mark to think there was some possibility of him interrupting/confronting Hunter about declining the mission.

Plus, when Hunter and Cid talk about leaving Omega behind, you can see Tech, Wrecker, and Echo continuing to tall in the background, and at least it possibly looks to me like Tech is defending his point on taking the mission. Additionally, when they first land on Raxus and exit the Marauder, Tech says "I am simply stating that the codes did, in fact, work. The client being a Separatist is not relevant."

So I think Tech is defending himself and his views on the mission but it's all just. Unfortunately off screen. But I also think everything above that you pointed out is still important; against Echo and Wrecker, it's easier to defend himself bc Tech already has that sort of dynamic with them, and though Tech has shown to have a sort of "better to apologize than ask for permission" view when he makes decisions (getting the Marauder impounded) he still has the highest respect for Hunter, and Hunter's role as team leader.

I cant think of any instances off the top of my head, but up until now we've never seen Tech so much as question any of Hunter's decisions, and I really hope this is going to be a start of... not necessarily Tech losing any sort of faith in Hunter, but a start of him speaking out of what he thinks is right

And also this I am still thinking about this

It can't be a coincidence that he fell asleep with the scanner. Their immediate priorities thus far - taking out their own inhibitor chips and getting Omega back - have been accomplished. I. I really want to believe that - as small as insignificant as it may be - that this is a hint to Crosshair, that Crosshair has remained a priority to at least one of them.

I mean im sure he has remained a priority to all of them, but at least what we have gotten strictly in canon... well

This got long akdjs but yeah I think, and I really hope, that this is going to be a start to us seeing Tech have a less placid demeanor. I just wanna see him emotionally break, that's all 💞

#carif answers #wwheeljack #tech #the bad batch #GOD I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG #every time i tried to add more to it i either got busy or i got sucked into looking stuff up or just.#my brain didnt wanna help me with words #also this got long but also i dont. i dont feel like its the answer your ask fully deserves??#so im sorry if my answer seems redundant or anything of the sort 😔#but yeah i just. i wanna see more development between the boys #i think if tech doesnt finally outwardly disagree/stand up against hunter it would just be?? such a fun and interesting scene to take apart #bc of how much of a shock it would be #tech has no issues taking initiative and - albeit not intentionally - getting under hunter's skin #like getting the marauder taken and dismissing the critical condition of the ship when theyre forcefully thrown from hyperspace #but otherwise in mission mode tech is always mindful and respectful of hunter's decisions and his lead #and i think...#okay so i think it probably wouldnt be uncommon for hunter and cross to clash every once in a while #but it was still clear that cross respected hunter as their team's leader #so cross so blatantly challenging hunter's lead after kaller must have been a shock #wrecker complains more than he questions or challenges hunter but its still clear that hunter is the boss and what he says goes #and tech!! oh if tech suddenly challenged hunter? I think that would be the biggest surprise out of any of them #i think it would even surprise tech himself #and i. i want to see it. so desperately #give me the internal conflict!!!!

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pleasantwizardphilosopher · 3 years

Text

Just you and me

So, I finally gathered the courage to write something and went for a SuperCorp fanfic, because clearly I am supercorp trash. I haven’t decided whether to post it in AO3 or not but if I do I’ll let you know. English is not my first language so if you get any mistakes or some parts lack cohesion please let me know and I’ll try to fix it. This fic goes by the idea that Kara is a very good scientist, she deserves that much, Lena’s background is canon-like. There are no dialogs, only feelings and senses, hope you like it.

*********

Finding yourself stuck in time is hard, at least that’s what most people would feel like under such circumstances, but not for Lena, not right now, where every single piece of “normalcy” her life had is just beginning to crumble, like a piece of sun-dried bread, or the way eggshells crack after someone steps on them, painfully, noisily, in a million pieces, most of all and beyond everything, they shatter unrecognizably and irreparably. Maybe the cold that such pain leaves behind is what led her to run, maybe it was the sudden fear and tiredness that was left in her, like cold steel in her bones, maybe it was the emptiness that started consuming every truth she thought she knew. It did not matter, she fled, running as fast as she could in those 7-inch Louboutins. She never looked back, not even after her flight landed in National City, not even after setting foot for the first time in her new penthouse in the middle of the city. She never regretted it, at first it was rough, sure, like every bumpy road is, yet, after the first glance she ever took at that blonde hair that day in the park, all doubts were erased off her mind.

*********

It was the end of August, the chilly air that announced a cold winter ahead blew her hair, ruffling it in her face; filling the streets, waking scattered orange and brown-ish leaves that had fallen from nearby trees, whistling on its way through the now almost-bare branches. The wind left behind the soft aroma of wet dirt, freshly baked bread and upcoming rain, heartwarmingly, filling her lungs easily with every breath, puffing visible clouds when exhaling. It was certainly nostalgic, the kind that makes you feel warm and cozy and at the same time makes your eyes prickle with unshed tears. Kara felt that pull, as usual, for everything good her life has had, and everything it had taken from her. She stood on the sidewalk, towards National’s City Central Park, glancing around her, taking in her surroundings when her gaze landed on a particular someone, dragged to her as if her eyes were mere pieces of steel and that woman were a huge neodymium magnet; She found herself staring at a sight she’ll always remember, because at that moment, when she first saw her, she felt a different kind of pull at her heart, the kind that screamed “caution!”, but in the good way, hopefully.

Long before she knew her name, what made her laugh, what made fer fidget with her fingers nervously, but above all, long before she had met that woman with dark long silky hair, forest-green eyes and pearly skin. Long before that gorgeous human being, with such power emanating from her, yet such caring, hopeful eyes, crossed her path, long before she made her feel like flying without actually leaving the ground, mostly, who she would grow to love, maybe, maybe she was fantasizing too much, who could blame her, it surely was a sight to remember.

*********

When the double doors slide open, she’s expecting a no-nonsense, powerful, cold-blooded, cocky-demeanor CEO, what she’s definitely not expecting is for such CEO to be almost precisely all that shaped and carefully placed in a stunning, raven-haired woman, whose green eyes could pierce through your soul and would probably make you spill your darkest and deepest secrets, those that also hide so much fear, making her want to walk over there and pour all her support into a hug. Kara swallows. Nevertheless, there is also something else to this woman’s aura, her posture is perfect, clearly carved into her from a very young age, and her smile is polite but stiff, almost practiced, and still, Kara can feel kindness emanating from her, true deep kindness and care. Something brings her to the present again, her breath hitches, those beautiful eyes are staring intently into hers with curiosity and a hint of amusement. The woman in front of her has managed to steal her breath twice now, which is not something she, the founder and co-owner of a start-up company. Harvard graduate and Kryptonian, finds happening often, she has faced great threats, from grumpy bankers to out-of-space threats as Supergirl, yet, Lena Luthor has managed to make her heartbeat go erratic with a simple gaze.

The soft scent of an expensive perfume fills the office, something akin cinnamon, vanilla and a little scotch (?). It is dizzying and a little distracting. She somehow manages to go through her proposal for the CEO without stumbling too much and, fortunately, without rambling. Lena seems fascinated by the proposal and agrees to the terms without major modifications to the contract. After both signing, they shake hands, and maybe, just maybe, they linger a little more than needed, both enraptured by the softness of the other’s hand. Lena pulls away first, fingers tingling, feeling the tips of her fingers warm and a lingering scent of something floral, it is electrifying, like a low current cursing through her veins, making her get goosebumps all over her arms, but she doesn’t mind, as her attention is captured by those ocean blue eyes that seemingly hold the weight of the world. She certainly is nowhere close to getting tired of them.

*********

When they signed this partnership, they did not expect it to turn this way, at least Kara didn't, or so she muses while sitting on the ledge of her rooftop. She truly just meant to get funding and maybe get to work a little up-close with the brilliant, certified genius of a woman. Sure, she is gorgeous and incredibly sharp-minded, as proven by so many magazines’ articles having bothered to analyze both qualities deeply and thoroughly; but after that first sight of her, with such strength and determination to her pose, with each powerful step, with every sway of her hips, albeit hiding so much hurt, sadness, and a great burden, brought to her by her last name; a burden that Kara has somehow come know so well, such need to be understood, because, the truth was, that no one had ever lived through loss the way they did. One lost her world, her culture and way of life, but found love and compassion, whereas Lena was denied both from a very short age, living a life without love, compassion, and affection, in a household where the outside cold wouldn’t enter, as the inside was icier.

The cold nighty wind startles her, it brings to her mind memories of bight smiles, so hard that certain dimples showed, laughs so hard that some wine would be spat on a very white leader couch, sunny days filled with an assortment of foods and a wonderful voice, filling every corner of the room with its melody and a slight accent, becoming more evident when emotion takes a rightful place in her voice, one that comes from a very pale yet very compassionate woman. She has to tell her, it's been just over a year since they first met, but she knows it is time, with them growing closer, she has to tell her she is Supergirl. And yeah, she definitely did NOT expect things to turn this way. (Maybe she kinda did).

**********

When she asked Kara if she understood the quantum mechanics behind the surface plasmon resonance their platinum nanoparticles showed, she wanted to be shaken, mad even, because why wouldn't she, the to-be youngest member of the Science Guild on Krypton? Of course, they didn't have the same metals as they did on Earth, but they understood the physics behind the phenomena. Okay, Lena did do not know her identity, yet, hopefully, but she did have a Bachelor in Mechatronic Engineering and a Master Degree in Advanced Materials, she definitely may have crossed paths with the concept. But hell, how can she be mad when those bright, summer-trees green eyes look at her with such glint of excitement, with a twinkling sparkle or curiosity? Those eyes that were looking at her with a look you give someone you know gets you, beyond understanding your words, those who truly get a grasp of your language, of who you are, what makes you shake with the excitement of a new discovery, a greater challenge. It was then that Kara knew that she could read Lena the way no one had ever done for her, she could grasp what she needed in every moment, what she was thinking, but she also got her sciency stuff, the theoretical jargon, upcoming theories, the physics behind phenomena and she shared her love for technology that could make humans' lives better, longer, healthier. They shared, compassion, vision, passion and... Kara was now almost certain, love.

At least she thinks so, what else could those stolen glances be? She looks up, just to find those forest-green eyes glinting with determination and concentration while those agile slender fingers handle tools and twinkle their way around the solar panel’s circuitry. She is so enraptured by her skills that she mistakenly adds way too much platinum sulfide to the solution, turning it suddenly black and bringing her out of her stupor as the contents boil, violently spilling all over the place, filling the air with a slight scent of iron, evaporated water and burnt plastic. Green eyes break contact with the panel to look towards where strong hands work frantically to turn off the hot plate she was working on, dropping her tools she reaches a hand to help Kara, concerned green eyes looking for any kind of burn injury or spill that may need to be taken care of. After making sure everything is (mostly) okay and that it was just a failed reaction, Kara is suddenly aware of a soft hand pulling her away from the table, vanilla and cinnamon fill the air around her, like a soft embrace, that turns real when Lena pulls her into her arms, a soft bubble surrounding Kara, making her a little giddy and peaceful at the same time. Flowers, fresh-cut flowers is what Lena smells, while she hugs Kara tightly, it is normal to get worried for your best friend after a lab incident, no matter how small, she tells herself, and while it maybe is, it is definitely not normal the way her heart felt like stopping the moment she saw the hot contents of the Erlenmeyer flask spill all over the place, fearing for Kara, feeling it creep up her spine and settle like cold ice on her stomach and lungs, making it hard to breathe.

When strong arms surround her and pull her in tighter, she realizes she has started shaking and hyperventilating, embarrassed she hides her face in the crook of Kara’s neck, and everything fades outside this moment. It is just them, vanilla, and flowers, Kara murmuring sweet nothings into Lena’s ear, hearing her heartbeat even out, and her breathing become normal; and Lena trusting that this person, whose arms seem to be able to lift a bus, whose laugh makes her heart warm and fuzzy, whose smile lights her world and makes her feel safe, cared for and understood; will never let her fall. And perhaps she is right.

**********

Yup, it is definitely love. What else could it be? That snowy January, between hot cocoa and soft muffins, she knew. She is hovering outside her lab, on the outskirts of town, where it was less likely that someone caught her both personas; peeking through the windows, she sees her, Lena is coding the interface that would allow them to take the most efficiency and durability out of the technology they had designed, the mechanical and chemical part was almost done already. She is typing, eyes narrowed in concentration behind thick rimmed glasses, the tip of her tongue poking from a corner of her mouth. And Kara knows, she wants to caress those hands when they were trembling from the winter cold, but also kiss them after a long day working with her computer, she wants to rub her feet after a day filled with meetings and kiss her every time her brilliant mind comes up with a solution for an impossible problem. But above all that, she wants to hold her and whisper into her ear comforting and loving words when she has a nightmare regarding Lex, she knows it’s a common occurrence. She wants to see her crumble knowing that Kara would always hold her and support her, kissing her lovingly every time her insecurities get the best of her. She wants her to feel safe, protected and loved in a way she always deserved but never got.

She sighs, this is it and she knows it, there is not moving forward without coming clean about Supergirl, because, staring at Lena, she knows there is no going back either, looking the way her agile fingers dance around the keyboard as if she were writing a letter to a friend instead of a state-of-the-art software to power and control their recently developed solar panels. She thinks of how beautiful of a soul Lena is, she has such a big heart, she has a huge weight on her shoulders for being a Luthor, a burden which Kara would love to lift from her since it is not hers to carry, it shouldn’t be. Furthermore, she cares so much for the world and the people in it, even for the ones that are not human, unlike her family she is truly kind and compassionate.

Here goes nothing. Kara flies through the lab floor-to-ceiling windows towards the desk where Lena is working, placing beside her the paper bag containing hot cocoa and muffins for her. Due to the cold, the soft warm homey smell soon starts filling the room. Lena looks up smiling, expecting to find Kara behind the treats, but instead, bright green eyes lock with glassy baby blue eyes, trembling lips and fingers fidgeting. Lena stands. She is instantly shaking, whatever it is that could possibly turn the unyielding hero into a crying mess must be of great concern. She steadies herself by grabbing the edge of the table to keep her knees from buckling, knuckles turn white. Green never leaves blue. And just when she is about to ask the hero what brings her here, a strong hand comes to the small of her back to steady her and keep her upright. She has never been this close to Supergirl and at that moment when every sound seems to shut and the air stills, she knows.

She knows why those sky-blue eyes always inspired her such calm and confidence, why she always felt safe in those arms that could bend steel as butter. Because in that moment, when the warmth emanating from that hand starts filtering through her clothes, warming her, her senses are also filled with a smell of flowers, mixed with chocolate and bread, and a hint of mint; when a single tear escapes those ocean blue eyes, she crumbles. She crumbles under that gaze filled with pain and sorrow, filled with such regret that she could feel it creeping through herself, nestling in every corner of her body, making her feel slump and heavy. She also sees intelligence, compassion and strength, qualities she has come to be very familiar with under a blue setting. And so, she grabs the hero’s suit in her fist and buries her face in her chest, a single heart-wreaking cry filling the air. Kara shatters then, knowing how much pain this is causing to a soul that has been betrayed over and over again, who has been abused and pushed to her limits. She knows she is picking an open wound with a stick, and she hates herself for it, for using the same trust Lena gave her against her. They slide to the floor, never letting go of each other, tears falling freely through both their cheeks. Lena breaks into heartbreaking sobs and Kara holds her tighter, as if trying to keep her from falling into pieces, from breaking apart, rocking them both back and forth softly. Lena just cries, screaming from time to time, gripping the fabric so tightly that if it were regular fabric, it would be tearing down by now, but it isn’t, just as the woman holding her, the woman she most certainly is NOT in love with, is not a regular human. They stay there, holding onto each other, never breaking eye contact, the hot cocoa and muffins long forgotten.

**********

She really isn’t mad. She isn’t. So maybe she has been slightly avoiding Kara, but she isn’t mad. Despite her first-instance outburst of emotions, she realized she really isn’t angry at Kara from keeping the Supergirl thing a secret from her, yes, she was deeply hurt and upset but she understands the reasoning behind it, albeit she wishes Kara had told her earlier in their relationship it also makes perfect sense for her to hide it until making sure their relationship was well-founded and strong.

She is quite lost though, there is a small hint of emptiness inside her chest from that day which smelled like chocolate and bread, at first Lena thought she might actually and finally be broken, her heart having taken so many hits already. But the pain eventually faded, and that emptiness never left, on the contrary, it became more present, so much that she was now almost used to it. Like a lingering rock in the bottom of her stomach, or a ball of cotton in her throat, constant, bearable but persistent. And now, as the snow starts melting outside her office she wonders why. She knows why though; she just likes to pretend like she can fool herself.

The morning sun is hitting her office’s windows, warmer than it has been for the past few months and as the first drops of melted snow start to fall from the rooftop to her balcony, the pretense falls to pieces, and she falls along with it. She fumbles with her balcony door and stumbles outside, not even bothering to grab her coat, as soon as she steps outside, she is hit with cold, humid air and slippery floors. Taking huge gasps of cold air to fill lungs that seemingly do not want to be filled.

Maybe this is all she needed, standing on her balcony and glancing at the city, the morning sun casting a bright yellow light over her face, warming her skin softly, while her side in the shadows gets colder every passing second. It is enough, hot and cold, day and night, light and darkness, she always wondered to which side of the scale she tipped the most, she used to believe she was all shadows, a Luthor, and Kara was light, all goodness, she smiles at the irony, a Super. However, while she is taking in the city, calm and almost quiet since it is so early, bright light hitting the buildings and cold, contrasting shadows hiding smaller streets, cars, and people, she gets it. Kara was never all light, and will never be, she has on her shoulders an unbearable pain that will never go away and with her powers come hard choices that no one should ever have to make. And she, she is not darkness, she is both, and she can choose which side to feed, and she wants to choose light, just not any light, one that is personified by blonde hair and ocean-deep blue eyes that she could, and does, get lost into. Maybe, she can bring a certain light to Kara as well, maybe they both deserve it, they deserve each other. Letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding she turned on her heels towards her office and out of it, directly to a certain warehouse on the outskirts of town. The balcony door left open, melted snow glowing gold from the morning sun, dripping into Lena’s office.

**********

Disappointment is that what she feels, no, sadness, for sure, she knew things could go sideways with the whole reveal show and yet, the clench in her heart won’t go away easily, and she knows she absolutely has no right to feel that way, she made that choice, just as she has made every other choice before it. She is tempering with her suit, waiting for her cell culture to finish growing so she can properly test their absorption properties. Soft pop music plays in the background, filling the warehouse with soft notes with a cheesy vibe, the mid-morning sun streams from the windows, lighting the space with an orange-ish golden glow. She finishes her upgrades with a tired huff, never one to hate working on something she surprises herself with such reaction. Groaning with frustration that has nothing to do with her projects and a lot to do with a certain pale powerful, wonderful, CEO.

She walks towards the windows, letting herself bask in the mid-morning light, feeling her powers recharge and her body start buzzing with energy. She clenches her fists, as the warmth caress of the sun on her skin makes her heart ache, missing another entirely different kind of warmth. She leans against a wall and lets her body slide to the ground, bringing her knees to her chest, she closes her eyes, letting herself get lost in the feeling of the sun kissing her skin, softly, almost hesitantly, she can almost picture a certain brunette, softly stroking her cheek, a sweet lovingly caress. A single tear rolls down her cheek from her closed eyes, knowing that such caresses may never be from her, a faith written by her own hand, resulting from her choices, as hard as it is. Letting her straining superhearing and expanding its reach she hears the hustle and bustle from downtown a few kilometers away, she hears the honks of the cars and the heavy panting from people running late for their work, such mundane thing that she may never truly get to live and experience. As her hearing expands, she finds herself focusing in a very well-known heartbeat, one she can distinguish above the sea of heartbeats that flood the city; it is beating absurdly fast, and her first reaction is to focus on her surroundings to find out whether she is in danger or not.

She hears heavy puffs of air, heels clicking steadily and determinately on the pavement, closer with every step, and is she running? Her breath hitches when realization dawns on her, she IS running, towards her. While her mind screams for her to move, to do something, her body is frozen, unresponsive, breath caught in her throat, she absolutely does not understand what is happening and doesn’t know what to expect from the woman that is now reaching her. Before she can dwell on it further, a feminine soft hand with slender cold fingers is touching her knee softly. She is panting from the effort, her breath smells like back coffee and mint, hitting Kara’s face warmly, making her head spin; a slight scent of grounded coffee beams mixed with Lena’s favorite scotch emanates from her clothes, she smells strangely like home; her red lipstick matching her flushed cheeks from running, and Kara cannot help but let her jaw fall open in awe at the sight.

She grabs Lena’s wrists softly and stands up bringing her along. Kara finally gathers her courage and looks at her eyes. She feels like sinking under her gaze, not out of fear, it’s nothing but love and warmth what she sees in those jade-green eyes, feelings she doesn’t feel worthy of, specially not when coming from the Irish goddess. Just when she’s about to close her eyes again, uncapable of keeping her gaze, Lena hooks a finger under her chin and makes her raise her eyes up to hers again. Insecure, scared-like blue puppy eyes find soft-looking bright emerald eyes. It’s understanding what she sees now in those deep green eyes, the same ones that seem capable of reading her like an open book. She lets out a sob, and Lena lets go of her chin, going to grab her hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing her palm tenderly.

The breeze brings to Kara’s nose the scent of Lena’s shampoo, smells like rainy days and autumn leaves, and, as usual, no words are needed when Kara moves her hand from Lena’s lips to cup her cheeks, bringing her other hand up. And, what else can she do other than lean forward? So, she does, she leans forward and kisses her forehead, its soft, tender, like a butterflies’ kiss, just barely brushing her skin, trying to convey her love for her beautiful Genius™ mind, for her brilliance, stubbornness and compassionate selfless soul. She then brushes her lips softly on both her eyelids, trying to convey all the love and regret she feels regarding the way she did Supergirl secret-related things. She parts slowly and watches as Lena opens her eyes fluttering open slowly, bringing her hands up to grab the wrists of the Kara’s hands that are still cupping her face, thumbs softly stroking the inside of the kryptonian’s wrists, she lets out a shaky breath, blue eyes looking at her so lovingly tenderly, with such determination and strength, unyielding as sapphires, she feels no questioning in her heart, this is where she is meant to be, she turns into a mushy puddle and lets herself be drawn into the Girl of Steel.

Kara leans forward and kisses her nose, giggling quietly, Lena simply melts into it feeling a soft warm breath that smells like chocolate and honey, suddenly, the emptiness in her chest melts like ice cream on a hot summer day, leaving nothing but love and warmth, like the one from a fireplace on Christmas Eve. She lets out a shuddering breath, relieved. They lock eyes again, and finally all those unspoken questions find an answer. They lean forward at the same time, their lips meeting in the middle, fitting perfectly against each other. It is warm, tender, loving, and everything it should be, the way every cheesy romantic comedy says it’s like. They pour all their love into that moment, lips moving against each other, chocolate-honey and black coffee.

When they finally part, it’s like breathing for the first time, lungs grasping for oxygen, freshly cut grass, concrete and sun-provided warmth, and it is perfect. Like taking a breath after holding it underwater for a long time, except you never truly knew what breathing was like, until that life-altering breath. They breathe in sync, foreheads touching, Kara’s hands go down to wrap around Lena’s waist, pulling her closer, Lena rests her head softly on Kara’s chest, nuzzling into her neck and closing her eyes, letting herself fall into that fierce love, like an all-consuming fire, she’s been too afraid to open herself to, to be vulnerable. They stay there, enjoying each other’s embrace, the hustle and bustle of the city blind to a beautifully blooming love.

**********

Kara is very clumsy, it does help her keep up her façade, albeit it is also a personal trait of hers. And right now, as she trips on nothing, while standing nonetheless, she makes it extremely evident. Forest green eyes look at her amused from the other side of the door. How does Lena expect Kara not to fall face first to the ground when she is dressed looking like THAT. Wearing a deep red drees that falls softly just below her knees, strapless, leaving her back and cleavage on display, her hair up in a neat bun and her signature 7-inch black heels, Kara definitely stopped breathing, not that she needs to anyway. She stands up awkwardly, taking the dust off her khaki pants and dark blue blazer. Lena cannot hide a smirk after pulling such reaction from no other than Supergirl.

The CEO pulls Kara into her apartment, it smells like vanilla and apples, probably resulting from the many scented candles that Lena likes to light around her apartment. The only light comes from said candles and several Christmas-like light strings that are hanging from the ceiling, giving the place a warm cozy glow. Kara smiles lazily as she leans down to kiss Lena, catching a glimpse of bright emerald eyes melting glimmery before falling shut. She smiles into the kiss. She pulls apart slightly and kisses the tip of Lena’s nose, the raven-haired woman lets out a soft chuckle. Kara grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers, and leads her to the door. Today it’s dinner date day, they are celebrating the successful launch of their joint solar panels project, the best performance ever achieved thanks to a certain Kryptonian’s platinum oxide nanoparticles; and 10 months of full-on dating. As Kara closes the door of Lena’s apartment behind them, the warm smell of the candles fills the hallway and follows them into the elevator, a fluffy plush blanket, a protective mantle surrounding them.

**********

drip…drip… the constant crash of raindrops against the windows surrounding them, rain pouring heavily around them, drowning the usually loud noises of the city’s rush hour, washing away the strong smell of smog. They are tucked under a bus station stop, at least Lena is, Kara is already dripping, since she stubbornly stood outside the small protection the roof offers so Lena and other humas could take cover, she doesn’t get sick anyway. Lena is shivering, although it has been a remarkably hot summer, today was quite a cloudy day and it rained for the most part, resulting in a temperature drop of several degrees. The brunette leans into Kara seeking for her abnormally high body temperature to warm herself up, but the Girl of Steel has other plans, since she cannot fly Lena to their apartment, she might as well take the best out of the situation.

Just as Lena is dropping her full body weight into her, she slides away, pulling Lena’s hand with her, directly into the downpour. Lena gasps when the first heavy drops of the cold water hit her, feeling her clothes get soaked almost instantly, she feels the raindrops roll down her skin and further dampening her clothes, the smell of the rain fully hits her now and when she lifts her eyes from where they were looking at the floor not to trip, she sees Kara smiling her signature megawatt smile at her, completely soaked and intertwining their fingers playfully, so Lena smiles, smiles so hard her dimples show. She lets herself be dragged by Kara, running under the rain, feeling the cold sweeping into her bones, and feeling more whole and filled with happiness than she has in a very long time, if ever.

Kara jumps over a puddle with all the grace of a gazelle, letting go of the CEO’s hand, such displays of her true nature still wonder Lena, just when she is about to make the jump herself, Kara stops and abruptly turns towards her. The world stops. Or maybe she is the one that freezes, the only thing she can hear is the rain pouring heavily around them, and her heart beating erratically in her chest, ringing in her ears, the smell of rain mixes with Kara’s floral perfume, she is getting closer now. The brunette starts shaking, and it has nothing to do with the cold water still running down her body. Kara stands in front of her, soaking wet, dirt all over her jeans from playing in the rain, her hair falls in wet dirty blonde strands around her face, her eyes as baby blue as always are dim because of the raindrops that coat her glasses, and in her soaking hands she’s holding an astonishingly made silver ring, two intertwined silver strings hold one small bright emerald in the middle, the inside of one of the string, in almost unreadably tiny letters reads “You are my hero”. The simplicity of the stone in contrast with the intricate design of the ring.

Lena forgets how to breathe, but Kara understands, so she just waits there, with the most loving smile ever seen stamped on her face. When Lena’s out of body experience ends, she simply nods enthusiastically. And so, the world starts spinning again, the honks of the cars return, engines roaring and muffled conversations, all muted by the rain, washing over them as reality sinks in, they are choosing each other, even when the world has tried to pull them apart repeatedly, furthermore, against each other, for them, none of it matters, just them, here and now, kissing for the first time in hopefully many years to come. Lena lets her hands drape loosely around Kara’s neck, feeling the grounding weight of the ring on her left ring finger, hot against her cold skin, the same way Kara’s hands, which hold her together.

#supergirl #supercorp #fanfic #karlena #kryptonian #i wrote this on a whim #please give me feedback #this is my first fic #be kind

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thatpinkbetch · 4 years

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I'm going to answer it this way, because I'm actually not a fan of some of those, and I've heard this is the way to do it if you don't want it ending up in the tag or the search I think? If i censor any of the ship names it's not out of malice! I simply don't want any of this to end up in front of eyes that just want to enjoy their ships 💖💖💖 if there is anyone who doesn't want to see opinions against t*d*d*ku, k*r*b*ku, or even iz**ch*ka, please don't read any further! Oh my goodness i hope this is all legible...

Anyways, hello!! Thank you so much for the ask!! I love talking about my opinion avkvmsocnaocjsoxks it also makes me really happy you like my blog 🥺🥺🥺 (I hope this answer doesn't ruin that avskvneognsocjs)

I'll start out by confirming that I'm not a multishipper. It makes me excited to see how the act of shipping itself can make others happy, but it's just not that way for me. I actually never read fanfic until I got into bnha (bkdk is just that powerful 😁😁) I'm actually...a little serious when i ship, or when i enjoy media, i analyze pretty heavily, so also, if that doesn't sound like anyone's cup of tea, i would once again recommend to stop reading and enjoy your day please!

I love analyzing characters and storylines and dynamics, but i will admit, I'm not a fan of most of the ships - not romantically. I think all the characters have interesting relationships to each other, all of the kids are great friends, and I love bonds and friendships so much 🥺🥺🥺

Those first two are perhaps the biggest, at least they definitely were the biggest when I first entered. Once i caught up, I didn't really understand the enthusiasm, but people have fun shipping, so that's nice! I think of those two as easy ships, if that makes sense? They're pretty simple, and easy to digest.

I personally am not a fan of romantic t*d*d*ku for a very specific reason; it feels weird to me for Todo to immediately fall in love with the first person who's ever shown him kindness (since his mother of course). Todo had never had any friends, nor any want for friends, obviously because of the abuse he faced as a child. Mido was his first exploration at a life outside of his father, a life he got to make for himself, it just doesn't feel right to me that he should immediately think "oh, is this romantic love? Is this the one and only for me?" Well, perhaps a teenager might think that way, but i don't think that's actually how he feels deep down, and I'm sure that's something a lot of us have to learn as we grow (I've definitely struggled with my own understanding of romance for the past 8 years). I think he still is trying to learn how to socialize and to make friends and to be a friend (and he's doing SUCH a good job!) But to immediately plunge into romance, which can be complicated, i don't think that would be right for him. I hope that makes sense! I know they're a very cute ship, which makes for fun! But again, I can be a little serious when i ship...

K*r*b*ku kind of falls into similar territory for me? Baku definitely had friends growing up, but he's seemed to always have trouble understanding his feelings and where he stands with others, causing trust issues. Kiri is really the first person he knew where he stood with, a person for him to be comfortable with and feel on equal ground, which i think is such a huge and positive role in his life, and i don't necessarily think that it needs to be romantic - for both of these, i think these relationships are incredibly important, to everyone involved, and making them romantic doesn't make them any more important!! In fact, i feel like them as friends actually can offer a more complex, interesting, and human dynamic between these characters, as sometimes people simply default to romance and then end up pushing for the same old tropes and ignore all the intricacies Horikoshi includes in his writing.

Again, I love Mido's friendship with Todo, and I love Baku's friendship with Kiri. I think these relationships are incredibly important, and friends are incredibly important. People who ship them are having fun, which is so lovely, and i hope they continue to have fun! I hope you personally find more fics about them that make you smile and brighten your day 💖💖💖

Iz**ch*ka is a little difficult, because they certainly are cute, separately and together. I thought they were cutest before Ura was told about her potential crush on Mido, when she was simply a source of bubbly energy and positivity that helped Mido open up and feel comfortable around other people. I feel though that, romantically, it's extraordinarily one-sided, and at this point, i have to wonder if they really are "end goal." End goal for shounen, of course, is hardly ever explicit ahzovndlfjsoxo but i feel like a better storyline for Horikoshi to take would be for Ura to realize that she's been confused, and these feelings haven't really been a positive experience for her. I've definitely gone through things like that as a teenager. Now, the ship can be very cute! They're basically the same person, and they're cute and bubbly! But again, it simply isn't for me.

I think Momjirou is very cute!! Of course, as a lesbian, i sense strong lesbian vibes from Momo, and strong bi vibes from Jirou, and I also saw the ship potential ever since the USJ attack - which i think, so did everyone else ahaovndofjsojfsk they're best friends without a doubt, though i have to say, i really like Kamijirou. She just makes him so soft, and he's so in awe of her, and she thinks he's so funny, I love how supportive he is of her, especially since she can be really insecure 🥺🥺🥺

I also think Ura and Tsu are very cute but another easy ship, and i kind of really like Ochamina 🥺 they're both pink and space themed, they're bubbly and energetic and kick ass, and i think they'd be super cute...

I saved todobaku for last, because, you know what they say, best for last! 😇😇😇

I've said it before, but if there was no Mido (impossible obviously, and i would never want that) then todobaku is where my heart would lie. Baku has never really been shown chasing after anyone except for Mido...and Todo, which really gets at my heart. There's a grudging respect there - very, very grudging ahakckdkfjskdk which i find very appealing! Todo is very important to Baku and he has also been able to show Baku some things about himself that he needed to question and reevaluate. Meanwhile, Todo puts up with exactly 0% of Baku's shit, which i find absolutely hilarious. It's funny to me how Baku wishes to intimidate Todo as he does everyone else, and Todo simply does not care. And Baku wants to be mad, and ends up mad that he can't be mad since Todo is a strong and worthy opponent. They just have such an interesting chemistry, there's so much friction, so much tension, and I enjoy it, particularly since they clearly should be friends, would be great friends, want to be friends, but Baku simply won't get over it 😂😂 I do prefer them as friends, but friends that are incredibly close, two people that understand each other on almost a telepathic level, two people that give each other shit while also refusing to take the other's shit.

I do agree that many people in this fandom seem to think their ship stands on some moral high ground? It could be a disconnect from the previous generations of fandom, or it could also be the growing mentality on this site that everything needs to be a battle of moral superiority, and also that what you like is part of your personality, and if someone doesn't like what you like, then they don't like you or that they think you're factually incorrect. I personally have stopped going into the bn/ha tag simply because I don't enjoy, well, many things i find there, and I'm happy with those that i follow. I've definitely seen hatred and invalidation for both LGBT ships and m|w ships, neither of which I'm comfortable with. I definitely don't go off tumblr for fandom stuff because there's practically no acceptance for any same gender ships, or any queer headcanoning, which, I'll be honest, makes me scared, as i am a very anxious person avdkvndkfje i do think it should be noted that we should be as accepting of cishet ships as we are of queer ships - no debate on this one - but again, you are right when you say that many cishet headcanons have been used to invalidate LGBT voices, and any and all allies must always be aware of this! It is much more often that queer voices are silenced, that queer ships are ridiculed, that queer shippers aren't allowed to enjoy or see themselves. And to anybody that doesn't want to be an ally... Whelp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what are you doing here ajxkvmdogjdicjsicjsodj I'm gay

I haven't really read much of anything recently, let alone other ships, platonic or otherwise, because energy has been low for me for a long time. I wish i could participate more and support all my friends and other fans, but it's been a bit of a struggle 😣😣😣 I'm so sorry! Something that I can do is make posts and analyses and metas, as those are quick and make me excited, so I'm always happy to respond to asks like these! (I say as i take two hours to write this response...)

I hope people have been taking care of themselves and remember that tumblr is really good at letting you cater to your own interests! I hope if you've made it to the end of this response that you enjoyed it, and you're not mad at me ahsovjekgjsocjwodkso if you are, that's fine, I'm sorry, I probably am really bad at social/internet etiquette and such that help you filter 😣😣

To any who are curious, you cannot change my mind ahdogmdocjdidk thank you to whoever sent this ask!!! A lot of this is a bunch of rambling I've always wanted to talk about but was frankly too scared to post! I hope I made sense and answered everything you were asking!! Please have a good day/night/life!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

#bnha #bkdk #tdbk #also no i dont have a twitter ans i dont want to get one absocndofjwodjaozjsldjai #sorry i just #i can barely keep up with surviving ajsnvondofjskxnsodjsodks #anyways i really really need to go to bed #i should have 2 hours ago....#but you know #this ask got me so intrigued #im serious when i say i like thinking about and writing these things!!!#again thank you so much for asking and im sorry if you didnt get what you were looking for 😔😔😔#asks #long post

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nejislavendereyes · 4 years

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Think things Through Prt. 3

“You asked for me, Godaime-san? Oh, hi, Neji.” Mei smiled brightly.

“Good evening.” He looked back at her, a small smile gracing his features.

“Yes, thank you for coming.” Tsunade cleared her throat, to ignore the two’s not so subtle romance. “Please don’t make me regret sending you two together.”

Mei blushed. “Sorry…”

“It’s alright, now, Mei, I am aware you have extra language skills, yes?” She asked.

“I’m sorry?” Mei questioned, not quite sure what she was asking.

“A family member, hm?” Tsunade added looking down at her paperwork.

Mei blinked for a moment, before it dawned on her. “Oh, oh! Yes, I am very fluent.”

Slightly confused Neji, raised his eyebrow and looked back and forth between the two. At the moment, it seemed that Tsunade was only briefing Mei on the mission and he was going to get a mission after her. Not with her.

“Good, you two are to go to Kusagakure and to retrieve and escourt ‘Kaiyo Manatashi’ to Iwagakure. Be ready to leave by morning.” Tsunade ordered.

Mei started to nod until she realized what she had said, well, when she had said. “Wait tomorrow morning?”

Tsunade looked up. “Well, yes. Is that a problem?”

Mei noticed the concerned look she got from Neji and cleared her throat. “Well, I kinda had… some plans for um…” She trailed off and bit her lip, Sakura and TenTen wouldn’t be back in time anyway so she shook her head. “Actually, nevermind.”

“Okay, then. Tomorrow morning you’ll be headed to Kusagakure. Goodnight.” Tsundae waved them off.

Once they were standing in front of her door, Neji gently caught her elbow, turning her back to him. It seemed to take her a minute before she realized he was analyzing her. Mei narrowed her eyes quickly, as if it was going to keep him from getting into her head. And it worked apparently.

“Are you alright?” He finally asked, stepping closer to her.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” She furrowed her brows.

“Because you were silent the entire way home, love. And you’re not that quiet unless something’s talking in your pretty little head.” He answered, holding her hips now.

Ouch, three months together and he already knew more than Sakura did in three years. “Awe, you think my head’s pretty?” She grinned.

“Pretty little, yes I do believe I said that.” He smirked as her smile turned into mock offence.

“Careful, your headband’s showing a bit of your ego!” She teased, pretending to fix his band.

“Ah, thank you, I need it to protect said ego from your hurtful words.” He pinched her hip, playfully. “But are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, yes.” She nodded, placing her hand on his chest and stepping closer. When his stare didn’t relax she leaned up to kiss his cheek. “I’m fine, just tired, it’s nearly midnight.”

Finally taking her answer, he mumbled a small ‘okay’ and kissed her forehead. He reached behind her and opened her door, putting pressure on her hip to push her inside. “Goodnight, Mei.”

“Night, Neji.”

The next morning, Mei skipped around the front of Kusagakure’s small hospital, an amusing sight for Neji, who quietly leaned against the wall. It was still quite early in the day, very few civilians wandered about, so she wasn’t worried about their judgement. Not that she cared normally, anyway.

“Whatcha staring at?” She asked, dancing over to him.

“My girlfriend who seems to be beaming brighter than the sun, right now.” He smiled down at her.

She gasped, teasingly. “You called me your girlfriend. Out loud. In public!”

“Noone here knows us as anyone but ninja.” He pulled her close to kiss her forehead. “So we have no reason to quiet down our relationship, if we’re even doing such.”

“Mm, fair point.” She grinned, taking his hands, swinging them happily.

“Why are you so bubbly?” He finally asked.

“We’re escorting a kid! I love kids!” She bounced excitedly. “I’ve always adored them, small little beans running around, no worries just happiness. They’re imagination is the most beautiful thing, because nothing is unfathomable for them. They are truly the most honest people you’ll meet, and they will accept you no matter who you are. I'm so excited to have my own.”

Neji’s eyebrow rose at her bursting happiness. “Are you now?”

Realizing what she said, she began to sputter. “Much later in life I mean! Not right now, of course. Like, you might not even want kids. Oh, not saying that I want kids with you. And not saying I don’t want kids with you, but it’s only been three months together of course. It’s weird to think like that, I-!”

Neji kissed her, easily interrupting her panicked ramble. “I’d love to have kids with you, one day.”

Her face reddened almost instantly, and again she stuttered incoherently. He only smiled and kissed her again, before looking over at the hospital doors to see two doctors and a small child walk out.

“I think that’s us.” He hummed walking over to the group.

“You must be here for Manatashi-san. Confirmation?” The doctor asked.

“Emerald Bunny.” Neji said, but the doctor shook her head.

“Not to me, to her.” She pointed at Kaiyo.

“Oh.” Mei crouched down in front of the small girl and waved gently. “Hi, I’m Mei Teniki.”

Neji watched as she moved her hands as she spoke. Granted she always talked with her hands, he had never seen her do anything she was doing at the moment. “We’re here to take you home, if that’s alright.”

The girl released her crushing grip on the bunny stuffie to move her hands silently. That was when it dawned on him- the girl was deaf and Mei knew sign language. “Emerald Bunny, yeah?”

Kaiyo turned and nodded at the doctor, deeming them safe. The doctor scribbled something out on her paper quickly before showing it to the girl and pinching her cheek. Kaiyo gave the doctor a thumbs up and waved as she retreated back into the hospital.

“This is Neji Hyuga.” Mei signed aloud. “He doesn’t know sign, I’m sorry.”

Kaiyo nodded and walked up to him and stuck out her hand. “Hello!”

Neji furrowed his brows at the sound, honestly the greeting sounded very clumsy, as if she was a two year old learning to talk with a stuffy nose. Nevertheless, he gently took her hand and shook it. Mei smiled and tapped Kaiyo on the shoulder and started to talk to her, this time silently. Whatever she said made the girl beam and nod.

“We should probably get going, Neji. Her parents will expect her in five days.” Mei said, standing.

“I wasn’t aware you knew sign language.” He admitted.

Mei took the girl’s hand and started to walk. “Oh, yeah, I’ve known all my life, I think. Let’s get going.”

Neji rolled his eyes, that didn’t explain much. But she seemed too distracted with the eight year old to care too much to say more. He’d just have to ask after the mission.

The girl was silent, of course, for most of the four hours that they had traveled, holding her stuffed bunny out ahead of her, dancing it around. Mei was calmer, but almost bursting at the seams while keeping a close eye on her. Neji was mostly focused on the area around them to be sure that they had no surprises.

Although he seemed to miss the surprise of Kaiyo tugging at his pants. He looked over to Mei who now stood next to him, innocently gazing at him. He crouched down to Kaiyo’s level, giving her an answering nod.

She gently tapped the side of his head, a curious look in her eyes. “She wants to know why you look so serious.” Mei stated.

“To make sure-” He started to speak, but remembered she couldn’t hear him. But Mei already had that covered, she already lifted her hands ready to translate. “To make sure you’re safe, not that there’s a reason for you not to be. Just a precaution.”

He smiled, when Kaiyo nodded at Mei’s signing in understanding. She then turned back to Neji and promptly squished his cheeks before signing to him.

“She said you look funny. You know with the Byakugan.” Mei translated, giggling. He made a sound of slight offense and narrowed his eyes as his girlfriend laughed. “Here.”

Mei sat down and started signing to Kaiyo, who only blinked, confused at what she was saying. Neji also watched, confused and very intrigued. It was so interesting to watch her hand movements, almost like watching someone perform a complicated jutsu, which in a way she was.

He sat there, completely lost as the two went back and forth talking in their own world. He was even more lost when Kaiyo’s eyes widened and she rushed behind him to push his hair apart, aggressively. He winced when the girl tugged his hair a tad too hard in her sudden attack.

“Wh-what is she doing?” He did his best to keep control and not pull away.

“She’s trying to find your secret eyes, I told her you basically have eyes in the back of your head.” Mei laughed, before Kaiyo gave up her search and started to sign frantically.

Mei laughed again, signing. “He doesn’t have actual eyes there, it’s as if he had them back there.”

Kaiyo nodded, and looked slightly disappointed in the fact and signed with a pout, before turning to Neji. She signed at him and Mei translated easily. “How many birds just landed behind you?”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead just closed them for a moment, before opening his eyes, his Byakugan active. He took a moment before raising four fingers for her. He didn’t think he’d ever seen anybody so wonderstruck by his dōjutsu before, her eyes grew large, her jaw nearly hit the ground, and she almost dropped her bunny stuffie.

Kaiyo then actually dropped her stuffie and grabbed Neji’s face, pulling it close, almost making him fall. With amazed eyes, she gently traced his chakra flow around his eyes. He closed his eyes and let her run her fingers along her face, surprisingly soothed by the eight year old. When she pulled away, he blinked them open to see her signing to Mei.

“She asked if it hurts.” Mei told him.

He shook his head, relaxing the dōjutsu and she again reached to touch his face. He let her touch the same places his Byakugan occupied moments before before she grabbed his cheeks and squished them again, smiling. She backed away and picked up her bunny and skipped off, content with the knowledge she was given.

“She was so amazed.” Mei smiled as he stood.

“Wait until you show her what you can do.” He smirked.

“I think she’ll still be more awed by yours, it’s cooler.” Mei elbowed him, starting to follow Kaiyo. “Really, the Ryūiki Kyūden is just a pretty playground.”

“Exactly.” He pinched her side.

Mei rolled her eyes and bent down to scoop up Kaiyo around her middle and gently swung her back and forth while walking. The sight thumped Neji in the heart. His girlfriend, a beautiful woman, bearing the biggest smile he may ever seen on her face while playing happily with a child. Is this what his future held?

He certainly wasn’t disappointed.

Breaking his professionality he reached over to tickle Kaiyo, she let a squealing laugh and squirmed in Mei’s arms who jokingly swung the child away, as if to protect her. Kaiyo swatted at his hands when he followed to attack her sides further. He allowed her to beat his hands away, losing the battle and going back to simply walking along.

Although Mei didn’t relent the play, she relaxed it back to just swinging the child. Both wearing cheerful smiles.

He was definitely okay with this as his future.

The next day ever since Mei had woken up, she felt a strong bout of excitement, but then remembered she was still on a mission and the excitement dulled. Constantly. She looked over at Kaiyo, who sat nibbling peacefully on a sandwich they’d bought for her before leaving Kusagakure and sighed.

“Are you okay?” Neji asked from his spot against a nearby tree.

“Yeah, tired.” She answered, before walking off. “I’ll be back.”

“Where are you off to, love?” He asked following her.

“Mmm, just a walk.” She called walking out of view.

She was thankful he didn’t follow her any further, she didn’t feel like explaining the next five minutes. She walked aimlessly, collecting wildflowers until she found a nice pond. She sighed and very ungraceful plopped to the ground.

Mei gently traced her finger through the water, willing courage to begin.

“Hey guys.” She started. “It’s that time of year again, woohoo!”

Tears already started to prick her eyes and she cursed silently. “What is it? Year twelve, mom? Year two for you, dad? And Aiko, it’s been five years without you! Jeez, time flies fast doesn’t it? I’m officially ninteen!”

Mei sat quiet for a second before speaking again. “I got a boyfriend! Oh mom you’d love him, dad you would too, even though I know you’d say the same thing you do every time; ‘he doesn’t deserve my baby girl!’ blah blah. Of course Ai, you’d just show him my stupid baby pictures...” She sighed. “I wish you guys were here to pester him, no matter how much I’d hate it.”

“Neji, would love you all, though. He’d see that I got my temper from you dad and my eyes from you mom, which by the way he says he loves. Aiko, he’d probably praise you for teaching me to be brave, but hate you at the same time… Mom, Dad you’d be so proud of me, I hope. Aiko you too.” Tears slipped down her cheeks, dropping into the water.

“God, I know I shouldn’t be crying, but fuck am I sad.” She cried. “I miss you guys, but I can’t stay much longer, I’m on a mission. With Neji actually. We’re taking a little girl home. Her name's Kaiyo, so sweet and bright. She deaf, too. I guess what you taught me is still useful, guys.” She choked. “Yeah… well, I gotta go. I love you guys.”

She put the bunch of flowers into the water and watched them drift for a bit before standing. “Happy birthday to me.”

On the way back, Mei wiped her eyes and tried to fix herself before she walked back to where Neji and Kaiyo were. As soon as she came into view, Neji pointed her out and Kaiyo ran up to her. Hugging the life out of her legs.

Mei laughed and patted the girl’s head, making her look up. Her bright eyes instantly filled with concern when she noticed the redness of Mei’s orbs. Neji noticed as well when he joined them.

‘Why are you crying?’ Kaiyo asked.

“I’m not crying, I walked into a spiderweb. I got dirt in my eye from it.” Mei lied, easily. It seemed enough for Kaiyo as she lifted her bunny to ‘kiss’ Mei’s eyes. But Neji saw right through it. “Come on, let’s get going, honey.”

“Why were you really crying?” He asked when Kaiyo ran off ahead. “I know you didn't walk into a web, I would’ve heard you scream.”

Mei pursed her lips, irritated that he was right. She knew she wasn’t going to get out of this. “The mission’s kinda getting to me…”

Neji raised a brow. Just yesterday she was gushing over how cute Kaiyo was and now she was crying? “What do you mean?”

“Uh, it’s just Kayio- her being deaf- reminds me of someone I miss.” She answered, started to walk, to catch up with the eight year old. “She reminds me of my older sister Aiko. She was partial deaf and lost most of her hearing growing up, so she and my mom taught me sign. I haven’t used it since, well yeah.”

“Since ‘well yeah’?” He asked trying to catch her eye, but she easily avoided him. “I don’t mean to pry, baby, but, I would like to know what’s hurting you…”

She smiled. “It’s not really hurting me. Aiko died almost five years ago, well, she’s been MIA for five years, so."

Neji sat on the new information. Completely new, he had never known of her sister. He was always convinced she was an only child, yet now he was finding out that she had an older sister. A dead older sister, at that.

"Fix your face, it's weird." Mei sighed. "I hate it when you look so sad."

Neji raised a brow, amused at her attempt to lighten the situation. "Mei you just told me you had a partially deaf sibling. Who is presumed dead… and we are transporting a deaf eight year old. Should I laugh at you for crying?"

"Yes. Wait, no, I'd punch you in the throat, but don't look so sad and sorry. It's annoying." She huffed crossing her arms.

"Well, be annoyed then, because I am sad and sorry that you've gone through such a thing." She scowled at his words but he continued. "But I'm also proud of how strong you're being about it."

At this she finally peaked over to catch his eye. He smiled and leaned over to kiss her temple. "Now, can I ask what your sister was like?"

"Oh, just a slightly taller version of me." Mei snickered. "Her jokes were worse timed and much dirtier."

"Oh god."

Later while they were walking, Kaiyo and Mei were making funny faces at each other. It was like they were trying to see which one could contour their face more, and Mei was losing. Child faces are much more pliable.

“Okay you win!” Mei laughed, signing to the girl.

Kaiyo jumped and clapped excitedly, making Mei laugh again. She glanced over to Neji, who was quietly walking ahead, as he had been for several hours. Her laughs turned into a gentle smile and it was as if he felt her eyes on him, because he looked over his shoulder at them and smiled back, his eyebrow raised teasingly before looking away.

'Do you like Naji-san?' Kaiyo asked, making Mei blush and cough, which enticed Neji to look back at her again, this time concerned. 'He's very handsome.'

"What is she saying?" He asked, no doubt noticing the redness of her face.

"Well, yes I do like him. He is very handsome." Mei answered aloud.

'Does he like you?' She asked.

"I hope so, he's my boyfriend." Mei smiled.

'He gives you special looks my papa gives my mama!’ Kaiyo signed excitedly.

‘Well, I don’t think it’s quite that special.’ Mei signed, now silent, but her blush still strong.

‘No, it is!’ Kaiyo rushed up to Neji and snagged his hand and hurried to yank him around. For a little girl she had a bit of strength, because she tugged him back towards Mei, almost throwing him into her.

“Well, hello there.” Neji smirked, his arms wrapped around her, stabilizing her from falling.

Her blush deepened due to his proximity, but nevertheless mumbled a greeting. “Hi…”

“Your nose is sunburnt.” He stated.

“I-it burns easily, al-always has.” She tried to focus on speaking but, Neji closed his eyes and leaned close, bumping his nose into hers.

“Is that where your freckles come from?” He asked.

Mei took a deep breath, almost leaning closer. “Most, uh, most natural…”

“That wasn’t a coherent sentence, dear.” He chuckled.

She closed her eyes as well. “I want to kiss you… So bad.”

"That's not a one sided feeling." He admitted. “We should reach a village by nightfall. Stay with me?”

“I’m not leaving you?” They were on a mission, it wasn’t like she was going to run away.

“Stay in my room, I mean. Let’s get one room, two beds.” He hummed. “I miss you.”

“Okay.” She sighed, happily, and leaned her forehead against his. “But we should try and get a move on so we make it to said village, yeah?”

“Probably a good idea, especially since the eight year old is watching us.” He laughed, straightening up.

“Yeah.” Mei blushed again and cleared her throat.

Kaiyo made an awkward noise and stamped her foot, making the two look over. “You did not kiss.” She pouted, speaking aloud.

“I get the sneaking suspicion she’s upset we didn’t kiss.” Neji chuckled and Mei laughed hiding her face in Neji’s shoulder.

“Kaiyo, we’re taking you home, we don’t have time for that.” Mei signed. “Also, your verbal speaking is really good.”

“Kiss.” She almost demanded.

Neji kissed Mei’s cheek, softly, before looking down at Kaiyo. She only made a contemplative face before deciding that was enough for her and nodded grinning. ‘Just like Mama and Papa.'

Mei rolled her eyes and picked up the girl, flipping her over. Neji tickled her while she hung and she wiggled and laughed, attempting to get away. Eventually the two stopped torturing her and let her ride Neji's back.

It seemed after that they only had a few hours of walking until they reached the village and in that whole time, Mei's persona dulled further and further. Though when Neji asked anymore, she simply complained she was just tired and he simply assumed she was still tender over what she admitted earlier. So he left it alone, but he did hope she’d talk to him more as it still bothered her into a silence.

Neji tried not to let her deteriorating mood get to him, but it was chipping at his own mood. Unironically, it was something Kaiyo began to notice, yet she said nothing. She only grabbed both their hands and swung them gently, her bunny tied to her hip.

Once they reached the village, they found a small motel to stay at and checked in. Neji ran to get some food for their dinner leaving the girls alone. Mei quietly, brushed Kaiyo's hair, it being a bit knotty after their bath.

Slowly, Kaiyo turned around. 'What's wrong?' She asked slowly.

'Nothing, sweet heart. Why do you ask?' Mei furrowed her brows.

'You're sad. You look sad.' Kaiyo pouted.

'I.' Mei stopped, there was really no point in lying to her, the day would be over in a few hours, anyway. 'It's my birthday today, and no one really knows. Not even Neji.' She shrugged, smiling weakly.

'Happy birthday!' Kaiyo signed, excitedly before asking. 'Are you sad that no one knows?'

Mei tilted her head back and forth, thinking. 'Not exactly, I could tell Neji, but I don't want to take his focus away from the mission; getting you-' She poked Kaiyo's nose softly. 'Home safely.'

'But a birthday is important!' Kaiyo tackled her.

'Yes. Yes, they are. But only to an extent.' Mei squeezed the child hugging her.

'No, they are very important! I'm sure your mama and papa have a big cake and a lot of presents for you!' Kaiyo declared.

Mei smiled gently, knowing she was wrong but enjoying her optimism. 'I bet you're right, Princess.'

Mei kissed the girl's nose and climbed up into the second bed and laid her on her chest. She started signing to Kaiyo, silently, asking when her birthday was. They went back and forth for ten minutes or so until Neji entered the room.

They both looked over to him, and they all stared until Kaiyo signed to Mei. Mei looked over at Neji and then back to Kaiyo with a grin and nodded.

"I feel a little uncomfortable now." Neji narrowed his eyes.

"Well, we've decided, you aren't going to be allowed to come in. Unless you can pay the right price." Mei smirked.

"I have sweets?" He tried.

Mei shook her head and Kaiyo grabbed the hair brush. Neji's face dropped.

Hours later and a slightly sore scalp later, Neji laid in bed. Holding Mei who slept peacefully curled into his chest. She and Kaiyo seemed to have fallen asleep as soon as they touched their pillows, but he had been lying awake for an hour.

Kaiyo's bed creaked as she climbed out of it slowly, as if she was trying not to wake them. But that turned out to not be the case, because she clicked on the light in between their beds. She locked eyes with Neji and appeared surprised that he was awake already.

He raised a brow and went to wake Mei but Kaiyo hurried to stop him. She waved her hands frantically and pressed her finger to her lips. Neji nodded and just hugged his arm back around her. Kaiyo nodded as well before grabbing a tissue and a pen. She struggled to scribble on it for a moment before turning to showing him what she wrote.

'We need to get her a present. Secretly. It was her birthday but she said it wasn't important! Help me?'

Neji furrowed his brows, reading the tissue and looked down at his girlfriend. It was her birthday and she didn't say anything? Was that why she was crying? No, she said that was about her sister. Maybe it was both… but why wouldn't she say anything about that?

Kaiyo thrusted the tissue in his view again with a different message written on the back. 'She didn't want to interrupt taking me home…’

Neji grabbed the tissue and pen and simply wrote back. 'Ideas?'

The next morning, the traveling group was two people short, leaving Mei to search the town with silent worry. When she had woken up, both Kaiyo and Neji were gone, with no note left to tell her where they’d be and Kaiyo’s bunny stuffie. She’d waited an hour for them to return but, still, was left alone. So she’d set out to look for them, hoping they’d just gone out to breakfast.

Though, the thought seemed irrational, as Neji and Kaiyo couldn’t really communicate aside from writing maybe, but being gone for so long didn’t seem like a trip that could be traveled with paper and pen. She didn’t want to ask for their whereabouts from the townspeople, just so in her head, she didn’t feel irresponsible for not being with her mission. So she traveled through the massive town that seemed to be having a small festival, in search of her boyfriend and Kaiyo.

Throughout the day, though, she received an unnatural amount of gifts and food samples from the festival stands. She tried to refuse some as she was running out of room in her bag and stomach, yet she received the weirdest responses.

“Oh, take it sweetheart. You deserve it.”

“Just a little something for you, dear.”

“Enjoy it, just as you should enjoy special days, people and gifts.”

“I feel a particular day has passed and you’ve yet to celebrate it.”

It was like half the town knew her birthday had passed.

Not that the thought mattered, she still had to find Neji and Kaiyo. She was going on two hours of searching and was growing a bit restless. She bit the bullet and asked a stand keeper if they’d been seen around.

“Ah, yes. They’d come by nearly twenty minutes ago. Very lovely family you’ve got, I can see why you’re eager to find them.” The lady complemented.

“Oh, um, thank you.” Mei blushed at the fact that the woman thought Neji was her husband and they parented Kaiyo. “Did you happen to see where they went?”

“Mmm, you’re husband used a paper to speak to your daughter, asking if she was ready to head home, and she nodded so I think they’re waiting for you there, dearie.” She answered helpfully.

“Thank you so much, ma’am!” Mei started off but the woman stopped her quickly.

The woman pulled a pretty Chrysanthemum flower and held it out to her. “I can see you have so much already but, I feel you deserve something special.”

“Thank you.” Mei smiled, taking the flower.

Mei sniffed the flower, as she walked away, a happy feeling making her float. Now that she knew Neji and Kaiyo were safe, she didn’t feel panicked anymore. All the kind people she met throughout the day, their words and gifts were coming back to her. She felt wonderful.

She took her time getting back to the motel, the joyful bubble around her making her feel a bit weighted, yet free. Normally, it took three nights of ice cream and cupcakes with the girls to avoid the pain after her birthday, but-.

“Happy birthday!”

Confetti fluttered down over her head as two beautiful voices echoed in her ears. In front of her stood Kaiyo and Neji smiling at her. Mei looked at them both, shock and surprise on her face. Tears welled in her eyes, worrying Kaiyo and Neji.

‘Why are you crying! You’re supposed to be happy!’ Kaiyo signed frantically, jumping from her chair.

“Mei, what’s wrong.” Neji asked gently.

‘Please, don’t be mad I told him it was your-.’

Mei scooped her up and hugged her tightly. She nearly barrelled into Neji, aiming to hug him as well. Neji chuckled as she cried into them and hugged them tightly. He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her arm before she stepped back.

She set Kaiyo back on the chair and sniffled. “I looked everywhere for you two.” She signed, aloud. “But I only found nearly every shopkeeper giving me gifts, enough for the next four birthdays of mine.”

“Yeah, had to keep you occupied for a bit while we had the cake made.” Neji apologized, sheepishly. “It was her idea, actually.”

“So you were the one who told everyone my birthday!” Mei signed, before picking up Kaiyo and tickling her.

“But really, thank you guys.” She stood up and smiled at the two. “Best birthday I’ve had in awhile.”

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k347 · 3 years

Text

Evanstan ficlet

Prompt – "Your wish is my command"

Pairing: Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan

Word Count : 2.5 k

Warning: None. Maybe a bit of fluff

Summary: He was excited for the date. Very much so. But unexpected arrival of a girl at Chris' house changed their plans a little bit.

--------------------------

With his shoes shining extra bright, having fixed his tie & handkerchief in the coat pocket for probably the hundredth time, Sebastian comes out of the black Audi he parked in the corner spot. It's far enough from the mahogany door for hiding, but also close enough so that he can keep an eye on the place. There's still no movement though, so maybe he is still getting ready.

It’s his third date with Chris and Seb is bubbling with excitement and nerves. Yes, the previous two have gone great and he loved walking through the parks and exploring bookstores with the guy. But it still felt like two friends hanging out together rather than two potential boyfriends. So seb decided to take matters in his own hand and give tonight a more romantic cut. This is probably the first actual, proper ‘date’ they are going to have. They'll talk about each other all night and flirt from across the table, have eachother's complete an undivided attention. Reservation made at one of the finest and fanciest hotels in the city, where he plans to wine and dine Chris Evans and charm the fuck out of him.

He really needs tonight to go just right. Exactly the way it is planned. Wants to make a good impression. Not that Chris doesn’t know him already. But Sebastian wants to come off as the good Boyfriend material instead of being the shy kid in a grown man's body who is still secretive and giggly around his crushes like he's some teenager. He was stuck in the friendzone spot for so long, it's sometimes still hard to believe he has escaped it. They have been working at the same firm for years now. But it was just last week when Seb gathered the courage to ask out the man of his dreams on a date. But more important (and still very shocking) is the fact that Chris indulged him and reciprocated the feelings instead of laughing them off. They’ve decided to take it slow and just see where it goes at the moment. ( Sebastian might have already dreamed of their wedding, pets and future babies though. He has been doing that for a couple of years. Not in a creepy way. He is just the hopeless romantic, thinks of himself as a rom-com lead sort of a person) But tonight he plans to be the best of the best. Create a whole James Bond vibe and make all that extra effort it takes to win over someone as special as Chris. He is dressed in his finest Italian suit and had his hair quaffed perfectly, wearing the best cologne and is present on the doorstep at sharp seven thirty, like he said he would be. Punctual. A good start to being a good date. He rings the doorbell and pulls out his most charming smile, for Chris. Only when the door opens, instead of the familiar handsome bearded face and stormy blue eyes, the visual of an empty drawing room greets him. He turns his head to both sides. Nope. No one. What kind of sorcery is this? Who opened the door, if he can’t see any human in front of him right now?

"Psst. Tsk tsk. Here."

A small, sweet voice reaches his ears. He looks down and finds the source behind that. It’s a little girl. Probably 4 or 5 years old. She has blonde hair and chubby cheeks, barely reaching up to his waist even though she is standing on a platform higher above him. Has a curious look on her face and is analyzing him from head to toe. He instantly smiles after looking at her. Tiny angel dressed in a onesie that has cartoons scribbled all over it. Two seconds in and she is already melting his heart. Damn you baby fever.

“And who might you be?”,He asks leaning down to reach closer to her height.

“I am Stella. Don't tell me who you are. I already know. You're the date guy. Where are your flowers?”, the little lady asks him, tone too judgemental for a five-year-old but adorable nonetheless.

“My flowers?”, He is a bit confused right now.

“Yeah. Flowers. When you go on a date, you are supposed to bring them”, she tells him impatiently and gives a disapproving look, like she’s the adult and he is the kid in this scenario.

“Yeah, Sebastian. Don’t you know simple date manners? Where are your flowers?”, Seb finally hears the voice his ears had been craving for. Chris just came to the door too. Wearing a crisp white button up and dress pants. Tie undone and hair a little messed up, indicating he had been running his hands through them frequently. The kind of thing people do when they are nervous. Chris doesn't show any other signs of distress though, has a playful tone and glint in his eyes, clearly stating that he’ going along with the joke and self imposing in the ongoing conversation.

“Sorry. The vendor was a mean guy. Didn’t give me any. And how many dates have you been on to know all this stuff?”, Seb asks the girl after shooting Chris a full smile.

“Five”, Stella replies promptly.

“Five? Wow, sounds serious. Who’s the lucky guy?”, Sebastian can’t help but talk more to the little munchkin. She sems fearless and very confident. Unafraid of talking to strangers and making conversations, a quality Seb wishes he had in himself.

“His name is Ethan and he’s boy. Not a guy. But he does remember to bring me flowers every time”, She tells him with her chin held high.

“Well, maybe we can have a double date next time”, he replies while giggling at the cuteness and she just shrugs like ‘it’s no big deal’.

“Stel, why don’t you go inside and keep and eye on dodger while I talk to Mr. Stan over here”, Chris pats her shoulders and Stella just nods and runs off back in the house.

“Mr. Stan? Really? I love it when you are formal Evans, but I’d prefer to be called Sebastian for the rest of the night. We are not in the office now, remember?”, he asks sheepishly.

“You gotta teach the kids good manners, right? Can’t have them all turning up as uncultured swans like you”, Chris was always that guy in the room who makes sweet jokes and tries to put every one a ease. Another reason why Sebastian loved the guy. Handsome, kind, compassionate, and witty. He truly is the whole package.

“Between the two of us right now, who is dressed more properly and has his tie done in a Windsor knot?Stop making excuses. She clearly has more sass than both of us combined. So if I were you, I’d stop worrying about teaching little grandma manners and start thinking about the wrinkles on that shirt”, Sebastian was never the one to shy away from fun banter either.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. That’s all you wanna say though? No further questions?”

“Oh, I was gonna ask if you forgot to tell me something but you clearly don’t let your guests speak without badgering them about having manners”.

Chris gives him an apologetic sort of smile and says, “I am so sorry Seb, I did try to call you but when you didn’t pick up I figured you were probably driving and on your way here anyway, so...”

“A good answer, but not one for the question I was gonna ask”

“Oh, you mean you were gonna ask me about our daughter?’, Sebastian gives him a dry chuckle. “See that’s funny because you and I never slept together”, Chris explains further, thinking he’s being hilarious right now and Seb has to prick that bubble.

“I don’t find it funny by the least, Chris. And by ‘it’, I mean the fact that we never slept together. Also please tell me you know that even if we did, it is biologically impossible for us to have a kid together”, Seb gives him an incredulous look and that makes Chris laugh out louder than before.

“Oh, pardon me. I am an investment banker, life sciences were never really my strongest subjects”, he apologizes, with a hand on his heart.

“It’s actually more of a common sense thing and honestly you are right now making me reconsider the decision of asking you out for this date.”

“That’s probably a good thing, because we are gonna have to reschedule the date anyway. Stella is my niece, Seb. My sister just dropped her off, couldn’t find a baby sitter at the last moment. So here I am. Stuck in between being the best brother and the most favored uncle at the moment. Ditching a hot guy and a fancy date to take care of a sassy 5 year old. Good Times”, Chris lets out a self depreciating laugh, still looks really apologetic and genuinely sorry which makes Seb’s heart sink even deeper than it already has after hearing the date he was so excited about is getting a rain check. He musters up a smile though.

“It is okay, Chris. Really. I understand”, he tries very hard to sound normal and not let any disappointment he is feeling pour into his voice.

“It’s not though. We decided this together and now I am just bailing on you at the last moment. Cancelling plans on such a short notice. Even though I know how much you planned for tonight and the reservation will probably get wasted. I’ll pay for it if yo-“,Chris starts with another round of apologies and Sebastian already knows the guy wouldn’t stop rambling unless he’s cut off.

“Chris. Chris, stop. It’s no big deal. The Plaza is way too overrated anyway. I guess we can have more fun by ordering a pizza and watching care-bears while waiting for it”, Sebastian suggests. Still a little hopeful that he’ll get to spend the evening with Chris anyway. Doesn’t matter if it’s at a fancy hotel or on a couch at his home. All he wants is to be close to this man.

“You..you wanna come in and spend time with us?”, Chris’ eyes are wide with surprise. He was clearly not expecting the situation to take this turn. Sebastian instantly feels like an asshole for trying to decide everything on his own.

“I didn’t mean to sound so presumptious, but yeah...I’d like to do that. If you’ll have me?”, he asks for permissson and is half expecting for the door to slam in his face.

“Of course we’ll have you, Seb. It’s always pleasure. Come on in”, Chris moves back, inviting him inside the beautiful place and Sebastian happily accpets the offer.

“Good for you. Because if you had just refused, I was totally planning on setting a camp right in front of your door step to make you feel horribly guilty”, he says while taking off the coat and hanging it up on the rack. He is delighted to hear the sound of Chris’s laugh at his recycled, not-so-funny jab. The date might not have gone where he wanted it to, but it’s definitely going somewhere. And for now, that's good enough.

“Oh and Seb, Care bears is so 1985. Kids these days don’t really watch that y’know?”

“Well I thought CNBC and the stock market channels would be a bit much for her”

“Don’t worry. She knows exactly what she wants. A Disney fan.”

“So I see, she takes after her uncle. Please tell me it’s not Frozen though."

“No, tonight's reserved for Tangled.”

"Hmmm. A bit better. I can deal with that. She has a good choice."

“Takes after her uncle in that regard as well”, Chris winks at him before turning to go into the kitchen and Sebastian’s heart is doing backflips at that simple action.

***

They spend the rest of their night watching and singing along with the animated characters. Building pillow forts, telling Dodger to fetch the colourful balls and mimicking sesame street voices. It’s the best date Sebastian has ever had, even if it was hijacked by a kindergartener and a furball. At the dinner table, Stella tells Chris she wants to sit next to ‘Bastian’ and asks him to cut her pizza into little bites for her. Seb tries so hard to hide the tears that well up in his eyes, though he is sure, Chris caught a glimpse of them. Because right after feeling too emotional, he had gotten a squeeze at his thigh and Chris interwined their fingers together, skin warm and cheeks flushed red. This looks and feels so much like the future Sebastian had been planning for them. He can’t tell if he manifested that by imagining it hard enough or is fate just being extra nice and kind to him since last week. Either way, he hopes this doesn’t change.

***

Finally it’s after 10:30 and Chris reminds Stella it’s way past her bedtime, she shouldn't take advantage of him just because he caves in everytime she pouts. He takes her to the upstairs bedroom while Sebastian stays in the kitchen to do the dishes, no matter how much Chris asks him not to do that.

“Please don’t. You’ll only make me feel like a shitty host”

“Please let me, if I don’t, I’ll be the one feeling like a shitty guest”.

Just when he’s done drying off the last plate, Seb hears footsteps coming down from the stairs. He walks out of the kitchen and stands at the very end of it, waiting for Chris to come down.

“She asleep yet?”, he asks when they’re just two steps away from each other.

“Actually no. Said she wants you to go up there and kiss her goodnight too”, Chris laughs but answers with a certain seriousness that tells Seb this is not entirely a joke. Stella actually did ask for him. That realisation warms his heart even more.

“Alright, I can do that”, he starts climbing up the stairs and crosses Chris. Is stopped by a large hand softly reaching out to hold onto his elbow. ‘”You know, you don’t have to, right? She’ll go to sleep on her own in a few minutes anyway. Don’t spoil her too much”, Chris wants to make sure Seb isn’t feeling obligated to do any of this just because of him.

“I know I don’t have to. I want to though. And cuties like you Evans people deserve a little more spoiling every now and then. Let me take care of that”, he smiles and frees his arm from Chris’s grasp. Walks a few stairs further but is stopped in his track again. This time, by Chris’ deep husky voice.

“Hey, Seb?”

“Yeah?”

“After you are done with putting the little madam to sleep, I want you to come downstairs and kiss me good night too. I’ll be waiting in my own room”, Chris is flustered, pale skin turned the loveliest shade of pink at the make but his voice still holds a demanding and authorative tone that manages to make Sebastian weak in the knees.

“Sure”, he says with his own voice trembling and can’t begin to believe his lucky stars.

'Whatever you say. Your wish is my command, Christopher', Sebastian thinks.

Actually, he might’ve just said it out loud judging by the way Chris snorts then blushes a shade darker and smiles some more standing on the other end of that staircase.

***

#evanstan #rpf #prompts #based on an episode in one of my favourite shows #💙

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parkkrys · 4 years

Note

Hello! I'm new to your blog and I was going through your star wars tag and I came across the 30 au star wars request of yours?. I wonder if you ever heard of Mermaid au? it's okay if you don't BUT can I request Cody/Rex and(or) Jesse/Kix? I have to gather my self for a long time before typing this as fast as I can AFGSHDHDH HNGGGGG--

You are adorable!! I apologize for the late answer but here you are! I hope you enjoy!

Kix has always been fascinated by the surface even when he was a small baby Mer. His mother would always smile as she held him, listening to everything he would say about the topic and chime in a few words as she would do his hair. He would even listen to what his older siblings would say about the surface with wide eyes for hours.

“How old does humans live for buir?”

She chuckled as she kissed his forehead. “They have short lifespans compared to us Mers. They only live up to a hundred years while we live for thousands. It’s interesting isn’t it?” She whispered as she pulled the soft sea leaf around him.

“Be careful Kix, that mind of yours will get you into trouble one day.” She whispered as she tucked him into bed. “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum ad’ika.”

It was only a few days after that he lost his mother to humans. He was struck by the thought of something so wonderous, something so breathtaking could be so evil. But as he grew older, he had the thought that if some Mer’s can be bad but some are good then it must apply to the humans as well. Some are bad and do horrible things, but most of them must be good in some way.

It was tradition in the Mer-folk culture that once a Mer turns a certain age they were allowed to go up to the surface, just to see how dangerous the ‘man’ can really be. Most Mer-people feared the man that wandered on the surface from the stories that the older Mer-folk would tell when they were young.

Kix has heard all the stories and it always worried the others with just how fascinated he was with them. He didn’t scream and cower like the other Mers, instead he would ask questions. But through it all Kix could always count on one person to be there beside him.

Rex has always been his best friend throughout the years and even Kix had to admit that he grew into a beautiful Mer with his buzzed blonde hair and his dark royal blue tail. He wasn’t surprised at all when Rex announced that he was being courted by the second in commands Ghost clan. He has met Cody with his stupid golden tail that took his breath away, but he knew that they would compliment each other very well.

“Rex?”

Rex hummed as he looked up from the collection that Kix has collected over the years. “What’s up?”

Kix hesitated as he laid on the sand, soaking up the warmth as he stared up at the never-ending blue of the ocean. “What did you do on your day to the surface?”

Rex snorted as he looked over towards him. “I observed, I analyzed and I saw what I saw. I told you this, I didn’t see what they told me. I saw people laughing, dancing, walking on two legs. I saw a whole new world that doesn’t make sense to me.”

Kix smiled as he listened to Rex ramble trying to picture it. “Look, Kix I know you are excited for your day on the surface but please do be careful. Your curiosity could get you into trouble.”

“I know.” Kix said as he rolled over, settling his chin on his crossed arms as he looked up at Rex. “I just can’t wait to see it.”

“Just be careful. I can’t lose you.”

Kix groaned as he pushed himself up, swimming over to settle down beside him. He always envied the easy way that Rex could admit things and to show emotions as well as he did. Well lately he hasn’t considering how many times Kix had to listen to him gush about Cody but he saw the way how emotionless Cody would brighten up when he saw Rex. It was sweet Kix has decided when he met Cody for the first time.

“I know vod, I wouldn’t leave you without a fight.” Kix muttered as he wrapped an arm around him. Rex hummed as he leaned his head on top of Kix’s, a move that always annoyed Kix to no end as he shoved a laughing Rex away from him. “I am leaving now.” He huffed out as he moved to swim towards the exit but was trapped as Rex threw his arms around him, giving him a squeeze before letting go.

“Just try to stay safe tomorrow yeah?”

“Yeah, of course. Don’t worry about its Rex or you will make yourself sick like you usually do.” He made sure to give him a stern look, smirking lightly at Rex’s sheepish look. He knew exactly what Kix was talking about considering how he made himself sick for hours when he thought Kix has gotten himself kidnapped by another clan. Which he clearly didn’t because he had everything in control thank you very much.

When the day finally came for Kix to make his first and only trip (we will see about that Kix snorted mentally) to the surface. He couldn’t keep his nerves calm as he listened to everything the elder was babbling on about. Stay safe, don’t go near humans, you only get to stay up there for one hour, all the basic rules that every Mer knows when it is their time to go up to the surface.

“Just be careful verd’ika.” The elder eventually signed, knowing that Kix was not listening to him. It wasn’t long until Kix was making his way to the surface, stopping briefly to wonder at the ship that was sailing up above. He has gone through the ships on the ocean floor but seeing one that was above on the surface was a new wonder as he swam forward.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly breached the surface of the water, breathing lightly to test the air as he watched the bright lights on the ship and the soft looking sails move with the breeze. He shivered lightly when the cool breeze brushed along his skin, making him feel chilled in a different way that he wasn’t used to.

The thought didn’t last long as he heard music playing and he couldn’t help but to silently and very carefully climb up onto the ropes to peak over the edge to see what was happening on the deck, gasping lightly at the sight of people dancing, laughing, smiling. It was a sight that he knew would never forget or stop thinking about as he continued watching.

He didn’t know how this man got his attention but he stopped as he noticed one of the humans silently watching the crowd, smiling at what the others were saying to him and his breath hitched. The human was different from the others with the black ink that marked along his skin, maybe a symbol for something important Kix would have guessed but it was his gentle eyes that had his attention.

The way that he watched his people, those soft golden eyes that were gentle but firm and, in some cases, mischievous as well.

He has never seen someone express so many emotions with their eyes before and he couldn’t help but to lean closer.

“Hey Jesse! Stop standing around and get your ass over here!”

He flailed slightly as he darted quickly to hide, his breaths hard as he listened to footsteps wondering overhead. It wasn’t like he was scared of them, more like he was worried he would actually get caught but as he once again looked over the edge he watched as Jesse moved, smiled, laughed and maybe he was in more trouble then he thought. There was no way he was only going to the surface today, he had to see him more, needed to know more about him. He just needed to figure out where exactly he lived.

“Hey boys! Keep an eye out! Looks like there is a storm coming!”

Kix breathed in sharply as he whipped around to see the dark clouds rolling in and he knew something bad was going to happen. Ships weren’t meant to outlast a storm that made the ocean turn against the sailors, Kix really has to wonder why the humans don’t just build them better but it wasn’t up to him. He at least gets the things inside them when they make it to the ocean floor.

He let himself dive into the water, swimming quickly to watch how bad this one could be and he wasn’t surprised to see the storm already making its presence known when he popped back up to the surface.

He knew he should swim under, letting the sailors meet their fate but he remained frozen. He has heard the tales about how wind will whip about, the sky thundering and bright flashes of light will appear across the sky and it was beautiful. What wasn’t beautiful was how the ocean responded to said storm as he ducked back underwater, swimming quickly to avoid a wave crashing into him.

He may be a water creature but he has heard stories of how much it hurts to be caught by one of those waves and he wasn’t going to test it out to see if it actually does. But he does need to make sure Jesse is okay and reluctantly the other humans since they were probably Jesse’s friends.

By the time he made his way back to the ship it was on fire and he stopped and just stared. How the kriff did the thing catch on fire he shall never know. Snapping out of his bewilderment, he twisted around eyes darting to catch any sign of Jesse as he swam, desperate to know if he was alive or not.

It wasn’t long until he caught sight of him for only a moment as he slipped underwater. “Kriff.” Kix muttered as he dived back underwater, swimming as hard as he could to get to Jesse.

Grunting, Kix slipped his arms around him, flipping his tail towards the surface as he moved the humans head to his shoulder once they were up above the water.

“You’re heavier than you look.” He grunted and it was a slow-going process as he panted, dragging himself along the shore while trying his best to not jostle Jesse to much as he collapsed beside him on the rough sand in exhaustion.

Laying there beside him staring up the blue sky, watching the birds fly he yearned to be apart of this world. He wanted to dance, he wanted to walk, run jump anything that a person with two legs can do. He turned to look at the man beside him, watching as his chest moved with every breath he took, his eyelashes flutter. He was beautiful.

He also broke several laws with saving him but he couldn’t find it in him to care. He wanted to be a part of this man’s world even if he didn’t know him. Slowly he brought his hand closer, using his fingers to trace the silly tattoo he had printed on his face.

“You are so beautiful” He whispered to himself as he let his finger trace along the bridge of his nose, lifting his finger to trace his lips. What he would do to get to know this man. He knew at that moment he was going to give his elders even more headaches if he was ever caught going back up to the surface to see him. And maybe, just maybe he would gather the courage to call out to him and talk to him.

He froze when he watched Jesse’s body shift, groaning as he moved his head and Kix scrambled to get back to the water. He didn’t hesitate once he slipped back into the water, swimming farther away in an attempt to not be seen. He breathed heavily once he thought he was a safe distance away, slowly moving back to the surface to take a peek to see if his human was gone.

His fear disappeared as he watched Jesse sit up, staring out to the water before calls rang out and several people appeared to take him away hopefully to a safe place.

By the time that he finally got back to where he was supposed to be despite being several hours late, the first person he tries to find is Rex. He couldn’t wait to tell him everything. And maybe he can figure out how exactly he can walk on land, maybe the sea witch will know of a spell to let him walk on land. He would do it, no matter the cost and no matter how how it could hurt, he would go through any pain to be able to live a life with Jesse.

#star wars #jessix #kix #jesse #implied Codex #captain rex #Mer au #parkkrys writes #tcw #codex #30 au requests sw

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oh-theatre · 5 years

Text

Objection!: Chapter 6

Chapter title: Truly Believe

A/n: This entire fic is just me loving Patton and projecting it onto the characters. I just love him a lot??? Also, would you guys like if I released like a separate chapter of just different moments of them in court? I have these small interactions between the group during trials and stuff and I think it would be fun. Let me know! Make sure to leave me some comments, I really appreciate them!!

First | Previous | Next

words: 4483

summary: Logan realizes some of his feelings, Patton has a realization about the case

pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, platonic demus

warnings: Murder mention, child murder, implied abuse, swearing, gun mention, abuse mention, abuse

Ao3 Link

“I'm so sorry Mr.Tolentino” Reeve rushes in, scattering files everywhere “I didn't mean to be late” Logan adjusts his position on the desk pushing up, sitting straight, he checks his watch scrunching his brows.

“You aren't late Reeve, you're right on time” Logan assures. Reeve gives Logan the same look he had given many a time, critical and very judgy. “Although everyone knows-”

“Early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable,” Both Reeve and Logan say in unison. Logan nods at Reeve approvingly, he smiles shyly. Logan gestures to the chair across from his own, Reeve takes it nervously, he was still getting used to Logan. He shuffles awkwardly in his seat, something itching his mind.

“Yes, Reeve?” Logan sighs, noticing his erratic movement. Reeve chuckles feeling his palms grow sweaty. He set his things down by his side turning back to Logan, who waits impatiently.

“I have a note from P-Patton for you” Reeve informs, he has never wanted to curl up in a ball as much as he wanted to right now. “It's about the case files, and about...last night” Reeve adds quietly, Logan's eyes grew wide.

“Last night?” He asks cautiously, how much? About the talk, the children, the stars, the kiss on the cheek?

“Yes, about the man and thanking you for helping with the children” Reeve nods handing him the note. He takes it a little harder than he should have from the poor boy's hands, skimming it quickly. He feels a wave of relief hit him as the note goes on. He reads every line of the beautiful handwritten note, the penmanship was remarkable.

Hey Lo!

Just wanted to thank you for your help last night, the kids have not stopped talking about you. You might have to come over for dinner soon :)

I would love to. Logan struggles against his own smile, you really can write as you speak.

For your help, I'm sending Reeve over with some of my notes! And you’ll notice that you can actually read mine.

It was one time Patton, one time. Logan recalls when he and had Patton shared notes on a previous case. Patton had told him ‘He wouldn't need a doctor anymore, by the way, you write, you must be a great one. ‘ Not his best joke, but unfortunately very true.

Anyway, thanks for everything, can’t wait to get this case started.

Love, Patton!

Love Patton indeed. He hands the note back to Reeve who shoves it away scrunching his brows. Without command, he hands Logan a copy of Patton's notes that he had sent. Just as he had promised, his notes were organized, neat and well...extremely helpful.

“Brilliant” Logan mutters to himself, he flips through the notes scribbling down his own thoughts, feeling things fall slowly into place. “Absolutely brilliant, he is a ….” Logan searches for a word the could sum up how he felt. “A genius. Reeve come look at this” He ushers, Reeve, tilts his head, his face growing hot. Logan looks up, he sighs “You're here to learn, I might not be the one directly teaching you but at least you'll be getting something. So come look at these notes” Logan insists, his voice growing excited. Reeve decides to heed his command and goes around toward his side of the desk. He leans over catching up to where Logan was, his own excitement setting in. “What did I tell you, brilliant” Logan admires

“I see why he's so popular, I mean...wow” Reeve marvels watching as the notes dance from one page to another, each making sense, each claim backed up by mountains of evidence. Logan was picking a lock and Patton had given him the key. “What are those” Reeve inquires pointing at a separate file. Logan takes it studying it curiously, he nods as he read.

“Patton's transcripts, from when he first interviewed the client” Logans eyes were glazed over, Reeve swore he could see a sparkle. “Fascinating…amazing...” Reeve was questioning whether he was still talking about the actual files. He studies Logan deciding to put his deductive skills to the test. Logan's eyes were tired, poorly covered up with makeup. His cheeks were redder than usual, clearly burning with a blush. He was smiling, clearly engaging his zygomatic major muscle and his orbicularis oculi muscle, a Duchenne smile. Or, in layman's terms ‘Smizing’.

“Smiling with your eyes” Reeve mumbles softly, not softly enough however as this catches Logan's attention. He turns to face Reeve who scrambles away a little from the desk.

“Pardon?” Logan raises an eyebrow waiting for the boy to answer. He stutters over his words, muttering non-coherent sentences. Logan stands approaching him. “Reeve?”

“The Duchenne smile, more commonly known as ‘smiling with your eyes’” Reeve rushes, practically stumbling over his own words. “That's what you were doing, sir” He adds. He mentally kicks himself for that, preparing for the worst.

“Am I really that scary?” Logan sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He sits down calmly, arranging the files on his desk. “Sit please” He mentions to Reeve who wastes no time doing exactly that. “Why did you scramble?” Logan eases, trying to understand. Reeve pauses

“Nothing sir, I apologize”

“No, no, I apologize, perhaps I've been a little intimidating” Logan admits, Reeve listens, a little too scared to move. “Smiling with your eyes…Odd” Reeve smiles, a little more confident now. He adjusts his back in the chair straightening it. “Why did you say it?” Logans asks, clearly, it was bothering him.

“Well, while you were looking through Mr.Hart's notes you seemed to be almost… enamored with them” Reeve explains cautiously, he feels himself clutching on to the sides of the chairs. Logan moves his head back for the first time, he didn't know what to say.

“I'm not infatuated with Patton” Logan retorts, Reeve might have laughed had he not been so scared.

“I didn't say you were ...but now I'm starting to think you are…” He mumbles the last part. Logan pauses, he wasn't really listening. Infatuated? With Patton? He thought back on the past years, even just last night. “Mr.Tolentino?” Logan turns back to Reeve who was watching him now as if prepared to take notes on whatever he did, analyze every movement.

“Let's say, hypothetically, and I mean hypothetically” His tone becomes firm, eyes taking on stern look. Reeve nods. “If I was…how would I approach...” He shakes his head waving the thought away. “Forget I said anything. You're here to learn what it's like being a lawyer let's get back to that” Reeve debates whether he was going to regret his next words.

“Buy him a coffee and a pastry from the coffee cart,” Reeve says, Logan turned to face Reeve once more.

“Why?” Was all he says, he was curious though. What would a delectable pastry and hot coffee do?

“It's a start, its a conversation starter, it's an excuse to talk to him and...it shows that you care” Reeve explains, he rambles but Logan understands. What he didn't understand is why? Why would he want those things?

“Tell me what went wrong with the ‘Scottsboro Boys’ case,” Logan asks, Reeve, tilts his head before frantically searching his notes. A wave of relief floods him at the subject change. He begins flipping through as Logan turns to his bookshelves. He tracks his fingers across the books skimming for a certain one. He hears light mumbles coming from Reeve behind him. Once he has located the book he turns to the next bookshelf, however, this one was covered in files. Each organized by date, what the trial was and whether it had been successful at carrying out justice, in Logan's professional opinion of course. He pulls the ‘Scottsboro Boys’ case reading through a copy of the original files with his own notes on the side. He hums softly before sitting back at his desk, watching Reeve who was now scribbling down some notes. He finishes quite triumphantly before looking up. “Ready?”

“Ready” And so they begin

Buy him a coffee and a pastry.

Shows that you care

~~~

Roman would be lying if he said that he didn't wish he could wake up this way every morning. And by that, he means having Virgil's Great Dane, Joey, hop onto the couch planting himself on top of Roman, licking his face. Roman felt his eyes open slowly, the light flooding into the room burning his dry eyes. He adjusts quickly to the slobbery mess on his face and the sudden added pressure on his chest. He looks up to find Joey breathing heavily, his paws folded in front of him, as he stares at Roman. He chuckles carefully sitting up petting the dog, Joey bounces, jumping off of him. He watches as the dog stands expectantly at his feet and decides he should probably get up. Wiping his eyes, stretching his arms he stands much to Joey’s delight. He follows as the dog walks happily towards the kitchen and thank god he did. Roman wishes he had a phone to take a picture of this. He watches as Virgil dances softly around the room humming along to the music playing in the background. He watches as Virgil prepares what seems like breakfast, for three. He turns finally spotting Roman and drops his pan.

“Roman!” He scolds, Roman, laughs going to help him clean up the scattered scrambled eggs on the floor. Joey has his own cleaning ideas, trying very hard to lick the floor. Roman holds him back stifling his laugh. “Good morning” He grumbles, picking up the fallen pan.

“It is a good morning indeed!” Roman exclaims happily. “Sorry for spending the night, the little guy tired me out” Roman rubs his neck, Virgil goes to pause his music turning off the stove. He hands Roman a cup of coffee, who having been here plenty of times, went straight for the cream and sugar.

“It's fine, don't worry, thanks for taking care of the kiddo in the first place” Virgil assures, leading the pair over to the table.

“Always and kiddo?” Roman teases

“Patton's rubbing off on me” Virgil jokes back, Roman releases a breathy laugh stirring his coffee. They yawn simultaneously gaining quite comfortable in the presence of each other, silent or not. They hear the light shuffling of feet both preparing for an incoming storm. They watch as little Damian comes scurrying in holding his snake plushie followed by Joey. He runs straight towards Virgil jumping in his dad's arms.

“Hi, Papi!” He squeals nuzzling himself into Virgil, he chuckles adjusting Damian's position on his lap. Roman watches with a smile, Damian fiddles with his plushie.

“Morning Dee” Virgil greets “Did you have fun last night?” Damian waves to Roman nodding.

“He's the best!” Damian exclaims throwing his hands in the air. The men chuckle at the small boy. “Can he always come here?” Damian asks his father, Virgil smiles. Roman folds his hands in his lap awaiting Virgil's answer, he raises his eyebrows. Virgil shakes his head at the judge.

“What do you want for breakfast Dee?” Virgil asks switching the topic, he didn't know the answer and would rather not discuss it at eight forty-six in the morning. Damian struggles in his father's arms making grabby hands at Roman, Virgil sighs at the smirk etching on the judges face. He stands, still holding the boy carefully giving him to Roman. “I will go make you some food” Roman nods completely focused on Damian now. Virgil makes his way back to the kitchen, still reaping the unfortunate egg incident he decides some cereal will do. He watches from afar, Roman and Damian seem to be deep in conversation. He seems to have some kind of idea and bounces off of Romans lap scurrying in the direction of his room. Virgil finishes serving his bowl of cereal and places it in Damian's highchair.

“He's so cute” Roman claims as Virgil sits back down. Roman awaits some kind of quip, but Virgil simply shrugs.

“Hey, no disagreements here.” Roman chuckles fiddling with his empty cups of coffee. “So, big day today. The trial finally begins” Virgil comments, something shifts. Roman exhales a long breath, some things he's been holding in. He doesn't want to discuss the trial, he's not sure why. Roman loves being a judge, serving justice, having total control.

“Yes it is, I have a meeting with Patton and Logan in my chambers in about…” He checks his watch rubbing his eyes. “Two hours” Virgil yawns nodding as Damian returns. How the kid has this much energy in the morning is something Virgil will never understand. Virgil picks him up placing him in his highchair. He instantly starts shoveling down his cereal, making a mess, much to Virgils ‘delight’. Roman watches wanting to stay here, frozen in this frame. Watching Virgil smiling at his enigmatic son. Its something Roman had always thought about, the prospect of a family. He always marveled at Virgil and Patton, their ability to balance a very busy work life and still have time for their children. Still, have the mental capacity to give them love when they go into work every day dealing with awful people. Roman is sentencing someone to punishment, to spend the rest of their days suffering. Do they deserve it? Yes. Does Roman know this? Yes. Does he still feel somewhat guilty every time the sound of the gavel hitting a hard surface echoes throughout the courtroom? Absolutely.

“I'm done!” Damian announces, throwing his hands in the air pridefully. Roman chuckles dryly at the small boy. His only worry in life is whether or not he can sing the alphabet or count to the number ten. Virgil stands, Roman follows, he picks up his son letting him out to play. Damian instantly rushes towards Joey who pounces licking the child. Roman kneels petting Joey softly, Virgil leads Damian to his room disappearing for a while. Roman sits on the ground now simply enjoying Joeys warm head laying in his lap. Virgil returns after a moment holding a now dressed Damian on one side and the boys backpack in the other. “I'm ready!”

“Yes, you are niño” Roman agrees, he stands dusting himself off, Joey whines at the sudden shift. Virgil collects a few more things, while Roman organizes himself.

“Ready to go?” Virgil asks, Roman nods following the detective towards the door. He helps him strap Damian into his seat before taking his place in the passenger's seat. Virgil slides into the driver's seat, Roman watches curiously as he goes through some kind of routine. First, he checks on Damian making sure the young boy is alright, then he checks the mirrors, once that's finished he turns on the car going through each small thing to make sure everything is in working order. Finally, he pulls out of the driveway, Roman leans his head against the window, taking this little time to himself.

~~~

“Morning Mr.Hart!” Jenny calls. Patton looks up waving, giving the sweet woman a polite smile. He hoisters his briefcase trying hard to keep everything from spilling out. This morning had been chaos enough, and the day wasn't going to get better. The twins had decided to pitch a fit about going to school, not even a day ago having wanted to go more than anything, claiming they wanted to hang out with Patton today. Which he knew was code for, ‘We wanna see Mister Logan’. He might have caved in had he not remembered he had a mountain of work to do, and that the trial was beginning this afternoon. So, after fighting for another hour, he finally got the kids to daycare where they now preside perfectly happy with their friends.

“Patton” Patton feels his heart sink, so close. He turns to face Liam who stands leaning by the door. He’s smoking a cigarette huffing away, now Patton's especially happy he didn't bring the kids. Liam puts it out after a moment approaching him. “Good morning” His voice, which once sounded so sweet, now felt like nails on a chalkboard as it tore its way through Patton's ears.

“It's not” Patton replies curtly, he hefts his briefcase some more, why did I pack it so heavy? Liam lets out a nasty laugh, he extends a hand out towards the briefcase. Patton brings it closer to himself, he doesn't need help, he needs to get to his office.

“Patton don't be stubborn, let me help” Liam tries again grabbing the handle, it's a rough touch, always has been. Patton struggles to free his hand, and briefcase for that matter, away from Liam. “Cupcake” His voice darkens, his eyes seeking vengeance. Patton squirms at the nickname, hating the awful taste it leaves.

“You didn't want to help before…” Patton mumbles finally pulling away. His case crashes to the floor with files and loose papers cluttering everywhere. He groans kneeling down frantically trying to gather everything. It was so neat, so perfect. Liam smirks maliciously before kneeling himself, he picks up a few papers reading over them. Patton manages to stuff most everything back into his case. He looks up at Liam expectantly holding out his hand for the final few things. Liam thinks for a moment for simply shaking his head, he continues browsing the files. “Liam, give them back, you're being childish” Patton says, he stands dusting himself off. Liam follows but won't give in.

“I'm being childish? You're the one who keeps ignoring me, won't let me see my kids and your running around with some...man-”

“I am not” Patton states firmly, he's not offended by the assumption. He just doesn't wish to carry on this conversation, and would rather not hear about Liam's thoughts, or Liams anything for that matter. He holds out his hand once more, signaling for him to return the papers. Liam rolls his eyes, shoving them into Patton's chest. “Thank you” He seethes, finally closing his briefcase shut. He turns to make his way towards his office but feels something clutch to his arm pulling him back. Liam digs his nails into Patton, he winces once more struggling in the man's grip. “Liam… “ he whines, his vision becomes blurry. It's not just the nails causing the incoming tears, though that contributes, it's just everything about his former partner. The things he did race through Patton's mind, things he had worked so hard to just shove away.

“You are so weak” Liam scoffs, he remains “You always have been, how you're a lawyer I will never understand” That cuts deep, and Liam knew it would. For years people, family, friends, anybody really, would laugh when Patton shared his dreams. He was much too soft to be a lawyer, he wasn't a shark, he cared too much. The comments continued even after he graduated from Harvard, even after he passed the BAR exam, even today they simply waited until the ball drops and Patton can't do it anymore. Patton tries again to no avail, Liam’s not fighting a losing war. He holds Patton close, if you were just passing by you wouldn't even tell something was wrong.

“Let him go” A stiff voice requests. However, it didn't really sound like a request, more of a command. Patton glances towards the source biting down a smile. Logan stands watching Liam, he holds some kind of hot drink in his hand and a small paper bag in the other. He looks as he always does, prim, proper, neat, and put-together. Except for his eyes, his eyes glare at Liam, Patton swears he can see a fiery pit buried deep in Logan's dark brown eyes. Patton turns back to Liam, but he won't budge, in fact, he digs further. At this point, it's a tug-of-war game and Patton has the unfortunate opportunity to be the rope. After a moment Logan walks towards them, he stands next to Patton still watching Liam. He might not be fighting a losing war but he just lost the battle. Liam pulls away finally releasing Patton from his hold. He grasps his arm massaging it, watching the color slowly return. Patton prepares for an argument but is instead met by a soft hand on his shoulder turning him away from Liam. He looks up to meet Logan's eyes, the fiery pit washed over by a calm wave. “Patton,” He says, Patton understands and they begin walking away.

“Thank you” Logan nods. They walk side by side through the courthouse, reaching a more secluded area Logan stops. Patton does the same, Logan faces Patton examining the be-speckled man. “Lo?” Patton wonders softly, Logan shifts turning his attention towards him. Patton instinctively backs up into the wall, he's not afraid but it's just something left over.

“I brought you coffee and a pastry” Logan informs, Patton tilts his head. He lifts his hands showing that he did indeed buy Patton a pastry and coffee. Patton lets out a small laugh, taking the food happily. “I hope it is satisfactory,” Logan says. Patton giggles smelling the coffee.

“It's great! I forgot to eat this morning so this is perfect” Patton compliments. Logan feels the heat rising in his face, a light tint of pink. They continue walking, Patton opens the bag revealing a vanilla cupcake. He pauses once more, feeling himself space out.

~~~

“Cupcake?” Liam asks, Patton looks up to see his partner returning home. He smiles at him, quickly returning his focus to the baby he cradles in his hand. Remus snores peacefully in his arms, something Patton would come to miss in the coming years. Liam approaches with a look of disdain, eyeing the baby as though it might do something horrible.

“How was work?” Patton asks not looking up from Remus little face. He wishes he could stay like this forever, his perfect angelic face, the way his eyes flutter open every few moments. Liam grunts throwing his stuff on the couch.

“It was fine...I have a stupid project I must do or my boss will fire me” Liam informs, Patton gives him an apologetic look.

“I'm sorry,” Patton says, Liam bites his lips watching Patton with the baby. Patton notices and lifts the baby. “Do you want to hold him?” He inquires softly, Liam stares for a moment before shaking his head.

“I'll just have someone do the project for me,” Liam says completely ignoring Patton's question, he feels his heart sink a bit. “If it sucks they take the fall if it's great I get the credit”

~~~

“Cupcakes aren't pastries” Patton mumbles, his eyes go wide “He didn't do it!” He exclaims, Logan feels Patton grab his shoulders and stare at him with his shining eyes. “He didn't do it! He's taking the fall! Logan, my clients innocent!” As if at this moment, he finally believes it.

~~~

Virgil swore he would never pull his gun on anybody but criminals and lowlife. But at this moment? It was very tempting. His hand flew to his holster as he walks into the courthouse seeing Liam stand by the reception area. The man turns, his eyes falling onto Roman and Virgil who glares back.

“You...son of a beech” Roman mutters, Virgil begins picking at his fingers fidgeting wildly. They walk towards him, Liam smiles mischievously.

“If it isn't Ronan and Virgin” Liam greets, Roman flings his hand towards Virgil holding him back instinctively. Virgil growls deeply at Liam, Roman keeps his hand on him not wanting a scene in his courthouse.

“You know what? I'm going to arrest him” Virgil declares, Roman makes no comment he simply stares. Virgil wasn't kidding, he removes the handcuffs from his side and gestures for Liam to around. Liam furrows his brows, waiting for the punchline.

“You're abusing your power, detective” Liam comments.

“Like you abused Patton?” Roman blurts, Virgil turns to him eyes wide. Something in Liams expression changes as he turns to face Roman now, he almost looks hurt but that quickly morphs into something beyond anger.

“You s-” He moves forward but Virgils too quick, he places himself in between Roman and Liam.

“One wrong move and I will actually arrest you” Virgil warns. He might be absolutely vibrating on the inside but he meant it. Liam eyes him for a moment before recoiling, Virgil nods. Virgil turns back to Roman who now watches a spot intently on the floor. “You good?” He asks. Roman looks up grounding himself as he focuses on Virgil.

“Fine” He looks over Virgil to Liam “Just would rather not have him here” Roman shuffles uncomfortably. Virgil ponders for a moment before smirking. “What?” Roman huffs, he continues smirking “No, absolutely not”

“Why” Virgil whines “Come on, you want him out of here, I want him out of here, I’m sure Patton wants him out of here” Virgil pleads, sure enough, Patton appears with Logan by his side.

“Patton wants what?” He asks Roman gives him an encouraging smile. He tilts his head before spotting Liam. “He’s still here?” He sighs.

“Yes, I am,” Liam remarks, he forces himself back into the conversation staring at Patton now. Virgil and Roman become on high alert, barricading themselves, while Logan places a protective hand on Patton's arm. It's delicate, it doesn't hurt. “Patton I would like to speak to you” Liam requests, making a trying effort to not look in the direction of the others.

“Why would he waste his breath talking to you?” Virgil snipes, Liam chuckles his raspy voice echoing through the foyer. Patton exhales sharply.

“I think we are going to go now” Patton informs, Roman and Virgil nod turning towards the now timid lawyer. Logan and Patton share a glance before they begin walking away. But alas, Virgil can't stride away without one final comment.

“Virgil” Roman warns, but Virgils not listening.

“If you ever come near him again” Virgil's voice is orotund. He points an accusing finger at Liam, the man might be taller but Virgil is pissed off. “I will not hesitate to reopen my case on you and put you away, do you understand?” Liam glares but he knows exactly what Virgil means. He takes a step back eyeing Virgil one last time before walking away. The swift bang of the door shutting washes over Virgil in relief.

“You should reopen the case anyway” Roman suggests half-heartedly. Virgil chuckles, before pulling out his phone and showing it to Roman. He marvels at the text smiling approvingly. “How?”

“I was a very secretive texter in school, and Remys always got the case ready to go...just in case” Virgil responds, he's not going to lie, the look of astonishment planted on the judge's face definitely left a sense of pride in the detective.

#objection au #sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #deceit sanders #thomas sanders #youtube #logicality #prinxiety #ao3 #archive of our own #writing #my writing

78 notes · View notes

gyeomork · 5 years

Text

Connections

(jackson wang x reader)

genre: fluff, light smut, college au

warnings: sexual content, mild cursing

word count: 3.8k

a/n: i don’t capitalize my letters in this so if that bothers you, i’m sorry :( also italicized words mean they’re speaking english. also i lol don’t know what im talking about with all that “reading people” shit i just took a wyld guess but i hope you enjoy anyway ^3^

i enter my first class of the year, psychology 3. i take a seat, not really paying attention to who i sat next to. i take my laptop out of my backpack, place it on the table, flip it open and get ready to take notes. it was a new school year and i was not about to slack anymore. sophomore year was a complete shit show and i could not afford that this year, literally. i was skipping class like it was an olympic sport but guess what? tuition still had to be paid. i open up google docs and title the new document ‘19/8/19 notes, assignments & hw ’. the professor begins to speak and my full attention is now on her.

an hour passes and the class was wrapping up. “ok class the homework is for you all to make a powerpoint presentation on the person sitting next to you. you must analyze them as a person, describe their character traits and so on and so forth. think of it as an ice breaker activity and a way to make a new friend. more instructions will be posted online. i count 24 of you so i expect 24 emails on friday 23/8/19. presentations will be the following monday, if there are any questions feel free to email me. class dismissed.” i close my laptop and reach for my bag when i hear a deep familiar voice next to me say “hey! how’s it going?” i look to my right and see jackson, jackson wang. god not again. this man was handsome to say the very very least and a heart throb. i should know because i had him in psych 2 last year. we would almost always end up having to do a project together and almost always turn it in 2 minutes before it was due. it’s not like we were the best of friends and every time we met up we didn’t do work, it was just that we never really did meet up. every time he would text and ask i would be too scared to be in the same place as him because of how intimidated he made me feel. when we did meet up it was the night before so i absolutely had to go, for the sake of his grade. we wouldn’t talk much but when we did he was, for the most part, really nice. “hi.. jackson. it’s going.. good” i say quietly. “oh, that’s good. well if you’re free right now we could go get coffee to jumpstart this little project” god he had the cutest smile on his face. “oh yeah sure just let me get packed up” i said trying to avoid his gaze like the black plague.

after to fumbling with my belongings under the immense pressure his eyes were putting me under, we were finally able to leave. on the walk to the cafe, jackson sparks up conversation. “so, y/n, last year we never really talked much and i was a little let down because you actually seemed really cool. so i’m glad i get to do this project with you. i wanna get to know you” he looks over to me and grins widely. i return a small smile back. “where are you from?” he asked sounding genuinely curious. “the states” i mentally curse at myself for giving such a short, dry answer but he hums anyway. “i’m from china but i came here for a change, you know” “yup” i curse at myself again. a small silence passes, extra emphasis on small. “since you’re from the states do you-“ “speak english? yes” we both chuckle and god he was adorable. “oh cool so we could have our own semi-secret language” i give him a ‘you’re ridiculous’ look and we chuckle again. “so did you teach yourself english or did you go to an international school?” finally! i’m making semi-decent conversation. “international but i did do some studying on my own. so what about you? how did you learn hangul?” “ i loved watching and still do love watching dramas so one day i just got really annoyed with having to read the subtitles and just started teaching myself. i never really expected myself to get proficient at it, it just happened. then i thought i should put some use to it more than just dramas so i came here” wow the way i just rambled on just then. “ so how do you like it here?” he continues with the questions. “at first it was kind of hard to get used to because i went from using english every day and using hangul sometimes to using hangul every day and english sometimes” jackson nods in understanding. “ and then there are slang words that you need to learn and sayings and really understand the culture” he adds on. “ yes! exactly” regret of being so intimidated of him last year now fills me. he’s so easy to talk to. ugh am i stupid?

we reach the cafe and he opens the door for me “let me get that for you” “kam-sa-hap-nee-da!” i said in the most american accent i could do and he lets out an actual laugh that ascends me to the heavens. we both join the medium sized line. “you can just tell me what you want so you can go have a seat and i’ll bring it to you” this man is an angel. “iced americano, venti sized please and thank you” i say with a close-mouthed smile. “coming right up” he reciprocates the same smile. i make my way to a small booth in the corner by the window. i take out a small notepad and jot down things i’ve noticed about jackson. eventually, i get lost in thinking about how sweet he is and how easy he is to talk to and how his laugh is opposite of his deep voice and how his smile makes him look like a baby and then how he turns all hot again and oh my god i have a crush on jackson. like a cue, jackson comes and sets his and my coffee down and takes a seat across from me “thank you so much” “no problem” we both take a sip in unison. “analyzing me already?” he asks grabbing my notepad. all i had written was ‘really good energy’. really y/n? what the hell is that supposed to mean? he makes a ‘not bad’ face and sets my notepad back in front of me. i keep sipping and look out the window. “ok, ok” i could see him trying to hold in a snicker in the corner of my eye. i whip my neck to look and him and ask swiftly “what? why ‘ok ok’? what?”. “hm? nothing” he replies, still trying to hold in that laugh. “wah~ making fun of me already. at least i have something written down” he raises his eyebrows at me. “i have plenty of stuff written down in my head” “oh really?” i say in disbelief. “yes!” “ok. then prove it” i sit back and cross my arms. “just in the last 10 minutes, the things i’ve noticed ok. ready?” i just nod. “shy; when you laughed or smiled you didn’t show teeth. closed off; you chose the booth furthest away from other people. passive; you did nothing when i snatched your notepad. trusting; you trusted me with your drink and that i didn’t do anything to it. physical traits; well put together, pretty-“ i felt my face heat up and i had to stop him. “alright, alright you proved your point.” i waved him off and he laughs. “you asked for it” he says, laughter still in his voice. “i asked for you to prove yourself not show off” i say fake sulkily and extra pouty. he laughs even louder and makes a few heads turn. “ok jackson! people are looking.” i whisper shout and smile at him fully this time. “oh! you’re smiling” he points “you’re not shy around me anymore!” “ok you have to teach me how to read people like that” i rest my hand on my chin and my elbow on the table. “well, for starters, we could go back to the ‘getting to know you’ questions. so, when’s your birthday?”

after hours of talking, we had to leave simply because the cafe was closing. jackson looks at his watch and widens his eyes. “it’s 22:58 (10:58 pm). oh my god. do you have class tomorrow? i’m so sorry for keeping you out so late, i’ll walk you home. where do you live? oh my god i’m really so sorry” he apologized profusely. “no” i say flatly. “n-no?” he furrowed his eyebrows. “i don’t have class tomorrow it’s fine” i let out breathy laugh. “do you?” i raise my brows at him. “no” he sighs out in relief. “alright come on. let me walk you home” i barely take two steps when i stop and drop my head into my hands. “my.. RA. it’s past curfew. i’m dead” i say defeated. “oh my friend i can stay with- she has class tomorrow and she’s probably sleeping” i say gaining hope and losing it instantly. “i guess i’ll just take the warning, it’s only one” i start dragging my feet i the direction of my dorm. “you could.. stay the night with me. my RA isn’t as strict with the rules”. was that nervousness i heard in his voice? jackson? the same jackson that told me stories of him being bold and fearless? jackson? wang? never. “i don’t want to be a burden-“ i wave him off. “ you won’t be” he insists. i look into his eyes and really sink deep into those two chocolate pools. all that is visible is purity and good intentions; i trust him. “ok” i smile. “thank you” “no problem”

we get to his dorm and as he is unlocking the door he informs me that his 3 other roommates won’t be there until late that night so we’re safe from the teasing. he opens the door and lets me in first. it’s dark until jackson comes in and turns on the kitchen light. he sits around the island and i join him. i take this time to look around. right across from the kitchen was the living room that was in good shape for 3 boys, diagonal of the living room was the laundry room that was neat too, there was a walkway from the front door in between the laundry room and the kitchen leading to the living room, and one long hallway/walkway passing in between the living room and the kitchen continuing both ways to god knows where. there was also a sliding door in the living room leading to the balcony. “you must be hungry. do you want me to cook or is takeout ok?” come to think of it i haven’t eaten since lunch. i was so absorbed in jackson that i didn’t even realize how hungry i am. “yeah, takeout is fine” “is pizza ok?” he says pulling out his phone. “oh pizza is more than ok” i say, starting to get excited “ok miss pizza what would you like on it?” “pepperoni please~” “alright.. and the pizza is on it’s way” he hops off the chair with ‘hmph’. he walks over to me and holds his hand out to help me down. “thank you” i take his hand and get off the chair. “come on i’ll give you everything you need”. he leads me to his room at the end of the short hallway without letting go of my hand. he turns on fairy lights that aren’t too bright but are enough to make everything visible. he turns to the left to his walk-in closet to retrieve me a hoodie and some sweatpants. he tells me that when i go in the bathroom there should be an extra toothbrush behind the mirror. i say thank you for the 100th time today and go to sit on his bed to wait for him. “i can put something on if you want” he come and sits next to me on the bed. “mm..” i think about all the shows that i need to catch up on and finally choose one. “can you put on ‘he is psychometric’?” “ohh yes! what episode are you on?” he gets excited. “the last one and it’s so good, i just never have time to watch” “me either” he puts it on the tv and the pizza arrives. “that was quick” i say shocked because my pizza takes at least an hour to come. “yeah the place is right down the block; convenient” he comes back to the room with pizza and shuts the door.

we finish ‘he is psychometric’ and both of the pizzas. “i’m gonna go change” i take jackson’s clothes to the bathroom. i change into the comfy clothes that smells like him and brush my teeth. i pull my hair into a bun that i ruled ok for jackson to see and leave the bathroom. “oh you look good in my clothes but don’t go stealing it now” he says like he’s my father and gives me a stern look. i giggle and say “ok” sarcastically. he goes in the bathroom to change as well. i pull my notepad and pencil out my bag and sit in front of what seems to be his work desk. i write more analyzations and now have to flip the page thanks to jackson teaching me how to properly read people. i’m on a roll until jackson presses his hands on my shoulders and yells “boo!” “oh my god!” i jump and turn around in the swivel chair. “i’m sorry i had to” he laughs at me hysterically. “yah~ don’t do that! stop laughing!” i smack him on the shoulder repeatedly. “ok ok, yah!” he grabs hold of my wrists and is now inches away from my face; staring into my eyes. “i-i’m tired. where can i sleep?” i had to break the growing silence. jackson lets go and backs away “you can sleep on my bed, i’ll set up on the couch” he said walking towards the door. “no” i command, stopping him in his tracks. “ when the guys get home they’re going to ask why you’re on the couch and from the stories you’ve told me, you’re not a good liar” he turns back around but still doesn’t move. “you’re right” he says grinning. “well get on the bed so that when i turn off the lights you won’t trip and break your neck” “alright, no need to reference that traumatic story ok, that was a very scary experience” i say getting on the bed. “i’m just saying if you had a night light-“ “ok! jackson! good night!”

i was on the edge of sleep when i felt a heavy arm fall around my waist and a warm body touching all of my back side. steady breathing was blowing on the baby hairs on the back of my neck. he was sleeping. i suddenly started to feel uncomfortable in the position i was in and couldn’t take it anymore. while adjusting and re-adjusting my lower half, i inevitably brush up against jackson’s area. he didn’t respond so i assumed he just didn’t feel it so i continued on the quest to getting comfortable, all the while rubbing against him with my ass. suddenly jackson grips my hip. “you better stop playing with me” he growls lowly into my ear, ultimately ruining my new underwear i got from victoria secret on sale but i couldn’t possibly be mad at him. the ache in my core was way too strong to ignore so i reply as seductively as i could “who said i was playing?” while pushing up against him. he groans and i feel him grow beneath me. he attaches his lips to my neck and sucks and nips and licks away. he finds my spot at the base of my neck and i let out a low moan. when he feels as of though he’s left a satisfactory mark, he licks and kisses the spot. he turns me to face him and wastes no time in connecting his lips to mine. passion begins to fill the room as he climbs on top of me. the hands that are on my waist start travelling under his hoodie i had on. his warm hands on my bare skin was setting me on fire. one of his legs that was positioned between my legs started to rub against my core. i moan loudly into his mouth and he doesn’t miss his chance to stick his tongue in my mouth. i break the kiss to catch my breath and jackson moves back to my neck to leave more marks. i was lost in my own pleasure when i come to my senses. “jackson” i breathe out. he removes his lips from my neck for a brief moment “yes baby”. “what about the guys?” “fuck the guys” he tugs at the bottom of his hoodie and he looks up at me asking for permission. i nod and he removes the hoodie swiftly as he begins kissing his way down my body.

i wake up the next morning with the comforter covering more than half of my face so the sunlight seeping through the window didn’t bother me too much. i was initially startled about where i was but i soon remembered. then i remember the events of the night before. i turn around to see the beautiful man that shared the events of the night before with me. the light highlighting his features perfectly. from his fluffy, messy hair to his soft, plump lips. i move to brush away the hair that was in his face and move down to caress his cheek. how did this even happen? and how did it happen so quickly? i guess it’s the jackson effect. he flutters his eyes open and when he sees me, he immediately gives the softest smile. he pulls me closer in his arms and whispers “good morning princess”. i hum and say good morning back. “how’d you sleep?” he kisses my forehead. “really good” i take a deep breath, inhaling his intoxicating natural scent. we stay like that for a while until we realize that we have to leave before the guys wake up and tease us. or the extreme awkwardness considering the fact that we may or may not have gotten a noise complaint. jackson gives me fresh clothes to leave in and i freshen up, doing most but not all of my morning routine due to the shortage of time. i grab my bag and exit the room with him. we’re walking down the hallway when i forget my notepad on his work desk and go back for it. on the way back to him i hear voices coming from the living room, i stay out of sight to eavesdrop. “jackson i swear to god you should do my- no our homework for the next week” one voice says, putting emphasis on ‘our’. “i shut my door, turn my music on my speaker up all the way, and even covered my ears with 2 pillows but could still fucking hear you two. jackson i swear to god if you don’t warn us next time” another voice says and lets out a deep sigh. “you guys i’m sorry i really didn’t plan-“ another voice cuts him off . “no you’re not sorry, you’re gonna be sorry when your ass is doing my physics homework for the next week” “i don’t even know how to do physics” “well you better figure it out” i couldn’t hear anymore of this, i had to save him. i walk out into the living room “um.. g-good morning” i wave awkwardly. damn! this is exactly what i wanted to avoid. they all look up at me with wide eyes “good morning” they say all out of sync. jackson stands next to me and holds my hand “this is my girlfriend, y/n” my heart drops, comes back up, does some somersaults, and skips numerous beats. “y/n this is jinyoung, jaebeom, and mark”. i give a small closed-mouth smile. “well, this was fun but y/n and i have places to be” he looks down at me and smiles “let’s go” jackson starts walking to the door and drags me along. i look back and wave goodbye and so do they, still looking baffled. jackson locks the door and we start walking down the hallway. ”i could tell you were uncomfortable so i had to get you out of there” he says with a hint of urgency in his voice and i laugh. “thank you but were we really that loud?” i ask putting emphasis on ‘that’. “i don’t know but what i do know is that i’m that good” i roll my eyes at him “yeah ok”. “so ‘girlfriend’ huh?” he looks down and scratches the back of his neck. “y-yea” his ears turn red. “you haven’t even taken me out on a date yet.” i scoff in fake disbelief. “i was hoping that i could go on a date today and then i could confess to you but i guess i got a little ahead of myself” “you think?” we chuckled. “confession? how long did you like me?” “ever since i had to do that first project with you in psych 2. whenever i’d ask to meet up and you said you couldn’t it always made me think you didn’t like me. and when we did you were kind of standoffish so i gave up. until you sat next to me yesterday” he smiles thinking about it. “i’m sorry that i made you think that i was just so intimidated by you and your good looks and what not.” “good looks?” he raises his eyebrow at me. “take the compliment or i’ll take it back” “oh no thank you thank you”

we leave his dorm building to the parking lot and his car. “i changed up our schedule for today a little bit.” he unlocks the doors and we get in. “what did you change?” he starts the car so the hot air doesn’t literally suffocate us. “after we visit your dorm we have to go to the mall”. he takes my hand and intertwined our fingers. “the mall? why?” i look over at him and furrow my eyebrows. he looks at me and smirks “to get you back that cute little underwear i tore off you last night” brings my hand to his lips and kisses it.

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protecticarus · 5 years

Note

hello! a prompt: would u be able to write an au set just after todd dropped out of college, where his parents hire dirk as like a carer of some sort for todd's pararibulitis?? and dirk is like fresh-ish out of blackwing and kind of a disaster trying to get a life together, and whether todd has it for reals first time round is up to you but idk I'd love to see something like this!! thank u sm and love ur work!!

I like this! this ended up focusing much more on todd than dirk, but I did drop some angsty blackwing references in there because, well... I’m me.

& thank you so much for reading & liking xx

“A… what? You got me a what?” Todd stuttered into his phone.

“A caretaker!” His mother’s excited voice came through the phone.

“I’m- is that really necessary though? I’ve been doing fine on my own.” Todd assured her.

“Oh honey, I know, but I just feel terrible not being able to be there for you and you didn’t want to move back home, so… I’d feel so much better knowing you’re being taken care of!” His mother replied.

Todd squeezed his eyes shut and wished for a miracle to get him out of this. But he knew his mother well enough.

“Mom… I appreciate it but you’ve done enough-“ He tried to argue one more time.

“Todd, please, for me?” His mother interrupted.

Todd sighed. She knew what she was doing.

“I… Okay.” He finally caved.

“Okay?” His mother confirmed.

“Yes, okay. I’ll… meet with this caretaker person. See if it’s a fit.” Todd mumbled.

“Oh, honey, I already hired him.” His mother piped in.

“You- what!? And him?” Todd exclaimed.

“Yes, Todd, I hired a nice sounding young man to take care of you.” His mother explained.

Todd covered his phone’s microphone and kicked his couch. His plan had been to push off setting a meeting and if he had to, meet this person but tell his mother it wasn’t a fit. It was a bit more difficult now that his mother had already agreed to pay this… ‘young man.’

“Shouldn’t you have waited for me to sign off on this? Mom, I’m the one he’s gonna… take care off.” Todd finally said through gritted teeth, cringing at the idea of a strange man having to take care of him.

“I’m sorry, honey, I just want what’s best for you, you know that. This disease is difficult, I only want you to have the best life possible.” His mother replied. Todd could tell she was getting emotional.

“I know, mom… I’m sorry. I’ll… I’ll try.” He said quietly.

“Oh, that’s wonderful, Todd!” His mother celebrated.

Todd sighed again. “Yeah… so, when’s this guy starting then?”

Next monday, the doorbell rang for the first time in months.

Todd took a deep breath and rolled his eyes before going to open the door. This was going to be a long day.

Todd had no intention of having this man in his house for longer than a day, but he knew he had to suffer through at least 24 hours. For his mother.

As soon as Todd pulled the door open, he heard a cheery British accent greet him.

“Hello! Are you Todd? I certainly hope so. I am terrible with maps, though, so I’m only 50% sure.”

Todd took a moment to take in what was in front of him.

This guy couldn’t be older than 22 or 23. He had floppy auburn hair and a smile that was way too big for a first day at a job, yet it didn’t seem out of place on his face. He was wearing an obnoxiously bright turquoise jacket. His hand was raised in a wave. Not a handshake, a wave.

Todd cleared his throat. “Uh… yeah, I’m Todd. I’m guessing you’re Dirk?”

The Brit’s eyes lit up at the mention of his name, like it was the first time he heard his name said out loud.

“Yes! That is me. I’m Dirk. Gently. Dirk Gently. That’s my name.”

Todd blinked a couple of times. “Right… so, you wanna come in or?”

Dirk jumped into motion. “Yes, I do!” He replied and stomped past Todd into the apartment.

“So, my mom says you don’t have previous experience as a caretaker?” Todd said, already listing reasons to tell his mother this arrangement didn’t work out.

“Oh, yes, or no, I suppose, but I’m very eager to learn! All I’ve wanted to do is help people. And you’re people. As far as I know!” Dirk replied.

Todd found himself taken aback by Dirk’s… eccentric energy every time he opened his mouth.

“Yeah. Okay.” Todd mumbled as a response. “I don’t really need much help, though. I’m fine on my own.”

Dirk smiled. “Well, your mother said otherwise.”

Todd sighed. “Yeah, well, you know moms. They worry.”

Something changed in Dirk’s demeanor and for a moment he looked… almost sad, but before Todd could analyze much, the cheery disposition was back.

“Well, your mother filled me in on this pararibulitis business but I have to say I’ve never heard of it before! Is there something you want me to help you with especially?” Dirk asked as he picked up several of Todd’s items from the coffee table to inspect.

Todd sighed. This was going to be a long day.

At the end of the day, Todd laid in his bed, going over the events of the day. Somehow… he hadn’t told Dirk to leave.

He had absolutely meant to. It was on the tip of his tongue. Yet… Dirk Gently was currently sleeping in his guest room.

Dirk had just… talked and talked and suddenly it was late and by the time Todd was ready to tell Dirk to leave, Dirk had asked if he needed anything and when Todd said no, Dirk retired to the guest room.

Seemed like getting rid of Dirk Gently was going to be harder than Todd had thought.

A week after Dirk had moved in, Todd started to accept that he had a roommate. Dirk was just always going to be there now.

Todd would tell him to go shop for groceries so he could have some time to himself, and Dirk would be gone for 20 minutes and then sit next to Todd as he played the guitar and talk his ear off.

Dirk asked more questions than anyone Todd had ever met. At times, Todd felt like he was being interviewed. In the beginning, Todd assumed his mother had asked Dirk to ask things and report back to her, but already towards the end of the first night it became clear to Todd that Dirk was just nosy.

Dirk also had significant lacks in common knowledge. He’d seen an AC/DC album and asked what band had an album about learning the alphabet. He’d pointed out Gandalf from a Lord of the Rings ad on tv and asked if he was a famous celebrity.

The most strange thing about Dirk though? Sometimes he would answer a question Todd had yet to ask out loud. Or bring Todd his phone about 5 seconds before it started ringing. Or tell Todd to take his food out of the microwave before the bell went off and it would be the perfect temperature.

Todd wondered if he was in a hidden camera show, but a week seemed like a long prank to play.

On the 9th day of Dirk working for Todd, Dirk asked the question Todd had been dreading the whole time.

“How come I’ve never witnessed an attack?”

Todd flinched at the question. “W-what do you mean?”

Dirk sat up straighter on the couch next to Todd. “Well, you said pararibulitis causes you to have painful attacks with hallucinations, right? I’ve been here for 9 days but I’ve never seen you have one. Your mother said they’d gotten so bad you got them daily, that’s why you dropped out of college, right? I’m just wondering, how have I not seen one?” He rambled.

Todd swallowed awkwardly. “I-I don’t know, dude. I guess they happen mostly at night.”

“But then how would they affect you in college?” Dirk asked.

Todd mentally facepalmed. “I, uh, I mean they used to happen more during the days. Now it’s nights.” He tried to explain himself out of this situation.

“I see.” Dirk replied. He seemed genuinely understanding, but Todd feared he suspected something.

“I’m your caretaker, correct?” Dirk then asked.

“Uh… yeah?” Todd replied.

“So, if you have an attack at night, you should wake me. To help you. It’s my job, right?” Dirk said and smiled.

Todd felt terrible. He already hated lying to his family, which is why he avoided them if he could. Now there was this guy living with him just to help him and he started to feel guilty for lying to him too.

“That’s… nice, thanks. But I’m fine.” Todd replied quietly and turned his eyes toward the tv again.

Dirk let the subject go and Todd was grateful.

On day 16, Todd’s guilt was starting to really gnaw at him. Dirk’s strange quirks had grown on Todd. Sure, he still rolled his eyes at 90% of the things coming out of Dirk’s mouth, but it didn’t annoy him anymore. He was starting to like Dirk’s company. Which made it so much worse.

That night, Todd suggested they have a drink together.

A drink turned into 8 for Todd. Sooner than Todd would have liked, he was drunk.

Dirk had had a beer and a half and was giggling like a schoolgirl.

They chatted about whatever popped into their heads as they drank, sitting on the kitchen floor, where Dirk had fallen, tripping over his own feet. Instead of helping him up, Todd simply joined him.

Todd couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed this much.

“So, you’re from England, eh?” Todd said in a terrible English accent he would’ve been embarrassed by had he not been tipsy.

Dirk cackled at this. “That was horrendous! And yes.”

“So why did you come to the States?” Todd asked.

Color drained out of Dirk’s face and he seemed to sober up before Todd’s eyes.

“Woah, dude, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want. Just tell me to fuck off.” Todd said after Dirk had failed to say anything for a while.

Dirk let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “Sorry. I’m not going to tell you to… do that, but I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Sure.” Todd raised up his hands as a sign of surrender. “How ‘bout you say something now.” He added.

Dirk laughed. “Alright… Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.” Todd replied and took a sip of his 8th beer.

“Why are you pretending to have pararibulitis?” Dirk asked.

The room went completely quiet. Todd froze mid-sip. Dirk waited paitently.

“That’s… a big accusation.” Todd replied.

“Sorry, I’ve just noticed-“ Dirk began to explain.

“I mean, you’re supposed to be taking care of me, right? What kinda training did you go through that makes you think that’s an okay thing to ask?” Todd snapped.

Dirk looked taken aback. “I’m sorry, Todd, I’m simply trying to understand-“

“Well it’s none of your fucking business!” Todd exclaimed and tried to get off the kitchen floor.

“Todd-“

“Get out of my apartment!” Todd screamed. He heard his own voice and cringed, knowing he was overreacting but unable to stop himself.

Dirk looked hurt. Like a child. He took a deep breath and got up.

“I’m sorry, Todd.” He said.

Todd looked away from him.

He heard Dirk sniffle, followed by receding steps and the front door opening and closing.

Todd was alone again.

The next morning, Todd felt like shit.

And hangover was the least of his worries.

Two days later, his mother called him.

“What happened, honey? I thought you were getting along!” She asked.

“Dirk didn’t tell you?” Todd asked back, surprised, having fully expected Dirk to call his mother and let her in on what he’d found out.

“No, he just said you told him to leave. Why, Todd? Why?” She replied, obviously disappointed but trying to appear symphatetic.

Todd sighed. “I don’t need help, mom.”

“Todd…”

“I know, mom.”

4 days after Todd had kicked Dirk out, he wrote several text messages to Dirk but deleted all of them before hitting send on any.

The next day, Dirk showed up.

Todd answered the doorbell, just out of bed and well confused as to who would be at his door.

From the other side of the door, a familiar Brit greeted him with a careful smile. He was wearing a bright yellow jacket Todd hadn’t seen before and his hair was a mess.

“Dirk?” Todd asked, surprised to see his former… what? Fake caretaker? Roommate? Friend?

“Hello.” Dirk carefully said. “I felt… like you needed to talk.”

“You… you felt like I needed to talk… to you?” Todd repeated.

“Yes.” Dirk simply answered. “Don’t you?”

Todd thought for a moment, then stepped aside to let Dirk in.

“Look, Dirk… I’m sorry. I didn’t… I shouldn’t have…” Todd tried to apologize.

Dirk lifted his hand to stop him. “It’s alright, Todd. I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

“No, no, that’s the thing… You were right.” Todd said. He felt a wave of anxiety and something else wash over him. Relief? He’d never admitted to lying about his illness. To anyone. In over a year.

“I know.” Dirk replied.

Todd was taken aback. “You- you do?”

“Yes, of course.”

“So… why are you sorry?” Todd asked.

“Because I should’ve waited for you to tell me instead of confronting you like that.” Dirk explained.

Todd let out a light laugh. “I lied to you… and everyone else and you knew… but you’re sorry for calling me out on it?” He asked.

“…Yes?” Dirk replied.

Todd laughed and covered his face with his hands. “I’m an asshole.”

“You’re not an-“

“Yeah, I really am. Such an asshole. And you know who’s not? My mom. And dad. And my little sister. And you. And what do I do? Lie my ass off and make all of your lives harder. My parents had to get a loan to finance their AND my lives. My sister’s so worried about me every fucking day and she’s a teenager for fuck’s sake! She should be out partying or whatever. And you? You’ve been nothing but nice to me and dedicated every day to running my fucking errands for me when I could’ve done it all myself. That is the definition of an asshole.” Todd rambled. He went to sit on the couch, hanging his face down and resting it on his clammy hands.

Dirk didn’t reply for a moment.

Then he sat down next to Todd.

“So, you’re not perfect.” Dirk said.

Todd let out a mocking laugh. “No shit.”

Dirk laughed too. “But you know what you can be?” He asked.

Todd looked up at him. “What?”

Dirk smiled. “Better.”

Todd stared at him for a long moment. “What do you mean?” He finally said.

“You can be better. Do better. Being an arsehole… it’s not like being a werewolf, is it? You have a choice to be better. Stop making excuses for your excuses.” Dirk explained.

Todd thought about it for a moment. The thought of telling his parents he’d been lying to them for over a year? His little sister, who looked up to him? The thought alone made him nauseous. But… he couldn’t deny that Dirk had a point. It’s not like he wanted to be an asshole. It’s not like screwing up everyone else’s lives bought him some kind of weird, perverted joy. He did have a choice. He’d always had a choice. Up until now he’d just made the wrong ones, one after the other.

But maybe… just maybe it was time to make the right one. Even if it was going to hurt like hell.

“You’re right.” Todd said. “Of course you’re right.”

Dirk beamed. “I wish more people saw that.”

Todd laughed. Then he took a deep breath.

“Hey… where are you staying now?” He asked.

Dirk furrowed his brows. “A motel nearby. Why?”

Todd smiled. “Well… I have a guest room and I’m guessing I’m gonna have to start paying my own rent soon, so… You want a roommate? Even if he’s a bit of an asshole?” He asked.

Dirk’s eyes lit up like damn Christmas trees. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Todd assured.

“But you don’t actually need my help?” Dirk questioned.

Todd looked at his new, strange friend and smiled. “Actually… I think I really do.”

thanks for reading! if you have any ideas for fics, feel free to send me prompts! my inbox is always open! x

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atekasey · 4 years

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My Top 5 Games of 2019

As I like to do every year, here’s some collected ramblings about my opinions of some games I played and really liked this year. While there were a lot more than 5 games that I enjoyed this year, I only had strong opinions about these 5. Without further ado, here are my thoughts on my top 5 games of the year of our lord 2019.

DISCO ELYSIUM

Full disclosure: I have not finished Disco Elysium; I am about three quarters of the way through the 3rd day. Regardless, I loved so much of what little I played that I consider it one of the best games of the year, based solely on the world-building and characterizations I’ve encountered so far.

Disco Elysium is an adventure game/RPG where the only stats you build up are personality stats and thought processes, which affects how you talk to people and interact with the environment. The main plot is about you playing as an amnesiac cop tasked with solving a murder at the centre of a labour dispute, but to be honest I couldn't really care less about the main plot. Not to say the plot is bad per se, it just didn't grab me like how the setting and individual characterizations did. The main plot was nothing more than a vehicle for me to explore and find out more about Revachol, its residents, and how all of them came to be who they are. The amazing writing that underpins every interaction is what makes the individual interactions so compelling.

When I woke up every morning (in the game world, mind you), the only thing I wanted to do is talk to people, conveniently ignoring the dialogue choices that furthered the plot until the end of the conversation. The pétanque-playing veterans who have some scathing opinions about communist theory, the paledriver who's mind is corrupted by nostalgia, the mysterious balcony smoker who I later learned was part of the homosexual underground, the Semanese race theorist who I wanted nothing more than to punch in the face if not for my low physical instrument stat, these are just some examples of the extremely varied characters you meet while you investigate some dead dude or whatever, I guess. Speaking of the paledriver, learning about the true nature of the pale from the White Pines rep was a pivotal moment for me personally, as it made the world feel both unique and existentially terrifying. All these little details and more create the rich tapestry that is Disco Elysium. Also, some dude was murdered??? Who cares about that, I need to make my sorry-cop sing depressing karaoke!

I should really get back and finish it.

CONTROL

I remember the first time I read SCP-087 back in the day, and it introduced me up to the horrifying (and sometimes comedic) world of SCP. For those who don't know SCP (which can stand for "special containment procedures" or "secure, contain, protect", depending where you look), is a collaborative fiction wiki about fake government reports on the supernatural and paranormal. It's the bureaucratic nature of SCPs that really drew me into reading them, making it feel like I was reading real government reports.

So imagine my delighted surprise when I first played Control, I picked up the first of many report-type collectible and saw that it was written almost exactly like an SCP entry. Control is a game that asks "what if the SCP Foundation was a real branch of the US government?" and goes off the deep-end with that premise in the best possible way. The bureaucratic mundanity of the Federal Bureau of Control really shines in these reports, as you read report after report of some other-worldly phenomenon while also reading reports about the monthly book club. Beyond that, actually playing control was fun and engaging... up until the end. Jesse is a great protagonist, and the characters you meet along the way have great personality and give life to the bureau. The Oldest House is a fascinating setting to explore, with it’s brutalist look and nooks and crannies that change and spiral off in otherworldly ways. Unfortunately, for all the build-up the story was leading to, it ends on a pretty lame whimper. But the lackluster ending did not sway my overall love for Control. No one makes games like Remedy at the AAA level, and I'm happy they are making games like Control. I cannot wait for the DLC for this game to get back into it.

Also, the PC version of control does a phenomenal job at showing off how ray-tracing really is the future of lighting and graphics. The real-time reflections alone, where the scene I was watching was reflected almost perfectly on a pane of glass like an actual reflection (in real-time, no less!) was a marvel to look at. And, not since Quake 2 did coloured lighting look so pretty. Suffice to say, Control justified my RTX 2080 purchase single-handedly.

AI: THE SOMNIUM FILES

I have what one can say a love/hate relationship with the Zero Escape series. The first entry, 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors, is one of my favourite games of all time (currently ranked 3rd, if you care at all, which you probably don't, sorry to bother you), and while the cliffhanger ending of the sequel, Virtue's Last Reward, made me excited to see where the series would go, Zero Time Dilemma ultimately did not offer a satisfying conclusion. Not only did ZTD barely resolve any of the threads started in VLR, but it was a very disappointing conclusion to the entire Zero Escape series as a whole (Junpei and Akane's story just getting a tossed-off mention after you beat the game about how "they lived happily ever after" and nothing else? THEY DESERVED BETTER!). So when it was announced that the creator of the Zero Escape series, Kotaro Uchikoshi, was making a new game called AI: The Somnium Files, I was cautiously optimistic. I hoped ZTD was just a one-off and not indicative of a downward trend starting to happen, and Uchikoshi still had it in him to tell a compelling story.

Very fortunately (for me at least), AI: The Somnium Files delivered in the best possible way, meeting and thoroughly exceeding my expectations.

It took some time before the game adhered itself to me as a truly great game, unlike Zero Escape. In the Zero Escape games, given the Saw-like murder games the characters were forced to participate in, there was an sense of urgency to the story that helped propel it right from minute one. AI, on the other hand, is more procedural, which makes sense given that you're playing as Kaname Date, a cop who has a fake eye that is also an AI named AIBA (trust me, it makes sense in context), trying to solve the murder of his adopted daughter's birth mom. Not to strip the act of murder from the seriousness it deserves, but AI ends up being more lighthearted than the Zero Escape games, which only made me enjoy the game more. AI takes its time to explore it's story and characters, letting scenes breath and focus on characters instead of the mystery at hand, allowing said characters to have more development and growth. I bring this up only so I can talk about Mizuki Okiura, Date's adoptive daughter, who quickly becomes the standout character from the game. A back-talking, street-wise 12-year-old punk who forces her way into becoming Date's "partner" as he unravels an ever-growing conspiracy of politics, missing eyeballs, and twitch streamers (again, please trust me, it makes sense in context).

She also has a lead pipe she likes to beat people with.

Mizuki is the best.

She is THE BEST!

Make an entire game about her YOU COWARDS!!

...Anyways, structurally, AI plays similarly to Zero Escape, but with more adventure game elements to it. You still follow a flow-chart that branches depending on story choices you make, and you need to see all branches to complete the story. Not to keep comparing AI to the Zero Escape games (that's why I'm playing this game, so that's the lens I'm analyzing this game through; this is my essay, I can do what I want, you’re not my real dad), but unlike the Zero Escape games, AI ends on a legitimate, no-fooling, unambiguous happy ending that couldn't have put a bigger smile on my face. Sure, it was corny, but the entire game was corny, and ultimately I didn't care! I was just happy that I wasn't uber-depressed after playing one of Uchikoshi's games! It even ends on a dance number consisting of the entire cast of characters!

AI is a good time all-around!

(Except for the murders. Those are bad...probably...)

RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2

Yes, this game came out last year, but honestly I don't care. I played it this year and that's all that matters. However, as I am coming to this game later than most, most of what can be said about Red Dead 2 has already been said by way smarter people than I am, so I won't retread any of that well-trodden ground. So, I'll keep this short: Arthur Morgan's journey is one of the best told story in AAA gaming to date, and never have I felt more like a rustic cowboy wandering the the old west. People harped on the sluggish nature of the controls, but I honestly liked it, as it added to that feeling of being a wandering cowboy. I took my time meandering through the the forests of Roanoke Ridge, the deserts of New Austin, and the red earth of Scarlet Meadows. There was nothing more that I enjoyed in this game than gearing up, getting on my horse and just riding aimlessly until I encountered something that catches my attention, whether that be a 3-star animal, a legendary fish, or even a dilapidated church on a civil war battlefield. I put in well over 100 hours on PS4 earlier this year, and I've put in another 100+ hours on PC, and I don't see myself putting it down anytime soon.

Fucking superb, you funky little cowboy game.

OUTER WILDS

Outer Wilds is not only the best game of 2019, but probably one of my top 5 favourite games of all time. It's hard to describe what makes Outer Wilds a truly one-of-a-kind experience for me without spoiling the ending. It's a game driven purely by exploration and discovery. Knowledge of the world and how it works is the sole "progression" system in the entire game; so much so that you can beat it in your very first first session if you happened to have the discoveries spoiled for you. Go into as blind as possible, that’s what I did and it made the experience all the more special. Play this game, you will not be disappointed.

At this point, I will be spoiling the major parts of the story of Outer Wilds, primarily the ending, because it is the thing that I have not been able to stop thinking about since I first experienced it. Be warned that there be major spoilers beyond this point. Given that Outer Wilds is all about discovery, I highly recommend you do not read anything beyond this point if you haven't beaten it. Again, play this game, you will not be disappointed.

One of my earliest existential fears was when I learned about the lifespan of stars in the second grade. I remember it vividly: sitting in class, hearing my teacher describe the stages of a star's life, going from normal-sized star to red giant, then eventually to a supernova, then explaining that will happen to our Sun as well. The dawning realization that the Sun will grow to a size that will envelop the Earth terrified me beyond anything that has ever terrified me up until that point in my albeit short life. I couldn't sleep for days without fearing that the sun will expand, consume the Earth and burn everyone I ever loved alive. It didn't matter that my teacher said it would take millions upon millions of years before the Sun ever reached this stage, this was my single-biggest fear.

Fast-forward 23 years later to beginning of June of 2019, I pick up Outer Wilds based on the buzz the game was getting. I knew the game was based around a time-loop à la Majora’s Mask, but had no idea about one of it’s biggest “mechanics,” so to speak. My first few runs in that game resulted in premature deaths, so it took me a little bit to realize that the Sun explodes after 22 minutes and envelops everything in a fiery blaze. Seeing my childhood fear unfolding right in from of me just drove me to unravel the mysteries of the universe I inhabited, if nothing more so that I could find a way to stop it. As I learned more about the ostensible precursor race, the Nomai, whom were fixated on finding something called the Eye of the Universe but perished before they could find it, I got it in my head that, if I can just do what the Nomai failed to do, I could stop all of this from happening. Every time the time loop started, I would run out into space and unraveling the mystery further and further, each time being obliterated by the sun at the end of 22 minutes (or dying in a really stupid physics-y way), getting closer and closer to finding out what’s really going on.

Eventually, I discovered enough information to accomplish the task of reaching the Eye of the Universe: I found the coordinates of the Eye, a ship with the necessary warp-drive to get there, and a power source to make it all happen. With the keys in-hand to finally unlocking the answer to this mystery, I set off on what would be my final run: I performed the necessary tasks, said one last goodbye to the Solar System, and barreled into what I would eventually learn is the quantum singularity of time and space, a.k.a the Eye of the Universe. I stepped out into a vast, cold emptiness of quantum existence that was the Eye and wondered around, looking for something, anything. After falling through what seemed to be a quantum vortex, I eventually found a museum not unlike the one you find at the beginning of the game; a museum that is part of the tutorial for the game. This museum contains a picture at the entrance showcasing the founders of the Outer Wilds Ventures space program, the in-universe space program your nameless, faceless alien character is a part of. However, in this quantum facsimile of this tutorial museum, which is cloaked in darkness save for the sole light emanating from your spacesuit, you're positioned to see the same picture you saw at the beginning of the game, only this time a new caption appears when inspecting it:

"Outer Wilds Ventures was founded by Feldspar, Gossan, Slate, and Hornfels to explore a solar system at the end of the universe."

I'm not trying to be hyperbolic when I say that: reading that caption started to make me go through the 5 stages of grief. I was immediately in denial of what I just read. “How could the universe be ending? The Hearthians just started their space program! How unfair it is for them for the universe they were just about to explore to end like that! Also, this is a video game! You’re supposed to give me the feel-good ending of being the hero and stopping the universe-ending event from ever happening!” As I explored the quantum museum more, the fact that the universe actually ending became more and more apparent and harder to ignore. Then, I recalled pieces of information I encountered during my travels that hinted (or plainly stated and I was too deluded to acknowledge them) that the universe was ending, and transitioned to the 2nd stage of grief: anger. Anger at myself for missing something so obvious and deluding myself into thinking that I could enact change on such a cosmic scale. I quickly entered the 3rd stage, bargaining, as I tried to snap myself out of it. “The game was pulling a fast one on me,” I told myself, “I hadn't reached the "end" of the ending yet, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Let’s not count all our chickens before they hatch!” I interacted with with the final prompt in the quantum museum, which transported me to a forest filled with galaxies. One by one, I watched these galaxies explode and fade from existence, until all that was left was darkness. It was at this point, I truly realized there was no stopping this, and I transitioned into the 4th stage: depression.

Through my depression, I stumbled across the dark, quantum glade to where I eventually found a quantum facsimile of myself, which no joke spooked me. Then all of a sudden, a campfire appears. The game asks me to settle, roasts some marshmallows, which I do, I guess. “What else can I do? It’s all pointless, the universe is over!” As I roast marshmallow after marshmallow, I'm eventually joined by a facsimile of the first Outer Wilds Ventures companion I met after launching into the stars for the first time: Esker. Esker (”Feskermile? does that work?”) wants me to gather all the other facsimiles of the Outer Wilds Ventures folk I’ve met during my travels and have one last campfire jamboree. Still feeling defeated and hopeless, I begrudgingly set out into the darkness of the quantum forest to find Feldspar, Gabbro, Chert, and Riebeck, along with Solanum, the kinda-but-not-really-last-living Nomai I met on the Quantum Moon. Once everyone was gathered around the campfire, they started played the tune I've heard all throughout my travels in the solar system. A melody that immediately starts flooding my brain with memories of my adventures: seeing the islands of Giant’s Deep being flung into space by a storm of tornadoes; the asteroids of Hollow’s Lantern destroying the surface of Brittle Hollow, revealing a black hole core; traversing the endless fog of Dark Bramble while dodging giant eldritch anglerfish; watching the sand majestically trade places between the hourglass twins. All of these memories and more came rushing to the forefront of my mind as I listened to the characters I’ve come to know and love play the same blissful tune that propelled me on my journey up until this exact point.

As the members of the Outer Wilds Ventures space program and the both-living-and-dead Nomai finished playing their song, a new universe is born from the ashes of the doomed universe we're all currently in, which indicated to me that this is truly the end, not just for the universe, but also for the game in general. So, with a heavy sigh, I went around the campfire one last time and spoke with every character as a way to say goodbye. It was when I talked to Riebeck, the ever-optimistic banjo player, that I finally transitioned into the 5th and last stage of grief: acceptance.

"The past is past, now, but that's... you know, that's okay! It's never really gone completely. The future is always built on the past, even if we won't get to see it."

A wave of catharsis washed over my entire being. Grief is a feeling that I never truly felt while playing a video game before playing Outer Wilds. Sure, I've been sad when I character I liked gets killed and the like, but I never experienced grief so profound like the one I felt during the ending of Outer Wilds. It was grief for a universe still teeming with life about to end; it was grief for a species that just started looking at the stars not being able to fully explore their own domain; it was grief for a species that never saw the fruits of their scientific labour; ultimately, it was grief about the inevitability of death. Abject terror flooded my mind when I finally realized that the universe was truly ending and I was powerless to stop it. But that single line of dialogue from Riebeck allowed me to appreciate what was happening. I was finally happy, not because it was truly over, but because I was able to experience everything I did up until the very end. No ending, no matter the cosmic scale of it, can ever take away the memories I had existing in this universe.

With that, I collected myself, took one last look at everyone around the campfire, and collapsed the singularity, ending the current universe and giving birth to a new one, with the clearest sense of purpose I've ever had: I was finally able to confront and conquer one of my biggest fears.

#atekasey game of the year 2019 #disco elysium #control #ai the somnium files #red dead redemption 2 #outer wilds #spoilers #massive spoilers #seriously don't read this if you don't want to be spoiled

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a-gay-bloodmage · 5 years

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🐇 What animal would they say best represents them? (For all your kids 😃)

This was a super fun one to work on! Thanks so much for asking!

Okay listen, I know this took a while lol I’ve been pretty busy…! It doesn’t help that I spend forever working on asks, anyway! I just love to ramble! But, after twenty-two days of intermixed not-working and oh-holy-shit-I-need-to-finish-that-ask, it is done! Fourteen individual dorks and their animals!

I actually have my Wardens’ and Inquisitors’ “Spirit Animals” on their Ref pages (here for Wardens and here for Inquisitors!)

((From this post!))

I am putting this under a “Read More” link because, well, you’ll see why…

Redren, Fallow Deer I chose the Fallow Deer for Redren not only because it ties into his childhood and the deer of his home village, but because of the wildness that the Deer represent. Contrary to most interpretations, the gentleness of the Deer isn’t as tied into him as other aspects, namely the skittishness, wildness, and spirituality. The redness of the Fallow Deer ties into both his long orange hair and his blood magic, as well as his concerningly fiery temper. Redren’s personality and how it relates to the Deer is surprisingly spot-on, and concerning the antlers, sure, just like Redren, they can be a little intimidating and used in a fight, but, also similar to Redren, they can break if put under too much pressure…

Andrea, French Poodle I decided to go with the Poodle because, like, come on. Not only are they associated with vanity and beauty, but most people see them as dainty, feeble, and cowardly. These views, while widespread, are more misconceptions than anything. Poodles are an incredibly intelligent breed of dog, underestimated and capable of far more than most believe at first glance. Andrea, even though she most certainly doesn’t look like a warrior, is a political genius and a loyal, loyal bitch.

Orest, Coyote It took me a long time to settle on the Coyote for Orest. The Coyote is usually thought of to be cunning and wicked, but the more I looked into it, the more I liked pairing Orest with the Coyote. Coyotes are associated with traits such as honesty and a captivating personality, of truth and finding joy in the simple things in life. The Coyote’s laugh is loud and full of life, and nobody can claim that Orest’s is any different. The association between the Coyote and a lot of Native American cultures was also a large determining factor, as the Dalish are so heavily coded as Native Americans and Orest’s character design is unquestionably Native-based.

Faelyn, Lop-Eared Rabbit I love Faelyn’s connection with bunnies, and so does she. She loves rabbits, especially the lop-eared ones. Faelyn is a little jumpy, spontaneous, and certainly a positive force to have in your life. She also fits into the “fertile” aspect of the Rabbit’s symbolism, as she’s obsessed with weddings and babies and happy little domestic lives. She’s small and her ears flop a little and her front teeth are a little overgrown, but she likes her features. She’s grown into the slur that people have always called her, turning “rabbit” into “Bunny”. Also, she’ll flop over onto her back and let you kiss her if she likes you enough.

Hundir, Ram Well, the Ram fit really well for Hundir. The Ram symbolizes power, force, drive, energy, virility, protection, and fearlessness, and Hundir’s got all of those except, well, the fearlessness one. He’s a little… sheepish. God, I’ll show myself out for that one. I love the parallels between the two, especially since Hundir’s an Aires. He really fits his horoscope. He’s most comfortable when in charge, but not in the spotlight, and would prefer to simply bash at things instead of trying to find peaceful alternative options.

Gemma, Badger She’s such a Hufflepuff, I swear. Not only is she very closely tied to the earth—being an Orzammar dwarf and all—but she’s adorable and could very easily rip a man’s throat out. She’s very confident in her own strength, even if she has moments of doubt. She’s loyal to those close to her, and willing to defend both them and herself. Coming from a world of kill-or-be-killed, both her and the Badger are very in-the-moment, constantly alert and two steps ahead of danger. But, as fierce as she may be, she’s still ever so fluffy and cute.

Mallory, Peacock I think the Peacock fits Mallory quite well. Despite the fact that fics I write containing him usually veer negative and a more than a little angsty, he’s really a fun, excitable person at heart, who wants nothing more than to express himself. Peacocks are associated with traits like freedom, self-expression, and attraction, and Mallory certainly doesn’t shy away from those. Peacocks are also closely tied to the myth of the Phoenix, and nothing says Mallory Trevelyan more than rising from the ashes of a depressed, disastrous, noble life and reinventing oneself as a loud, bubbly, makeup-clad sex worker.

Kiora, Sloth I was originally going to pair Kiora up with a cat because, well, of course, but as I looked more into it, she didn’t fit most typical descriptions. She wasn’t a cunning, shady, and mysterious kind of person. The Sloth fit her perfectly. Physically slow and relaxed, people tied to the Sloth are seen as diplomatic and able to adjust to changes with little fuss, with personalities that are kind and giving. Kiora’s patient to a fault, and passive to her own detriment. However, she moves, slow and steady, toward her goals, quietly and with so little show that people don’t notice until she’s already long gone.

Aelon, Lizard It was really hard to find an animal I best associated with Aelon. Most of the time, “spirit animals” symbolize virtues, and, as good as he can be, Aelon’s unfortunate amount of anxiety and anger and a million other things outweigh most of the common traits mentioned. However, I did find the Lizard to be a good match. Sure, he’s not great at “going with the flow”, but he is decent at handling things life throws at him, albeit with very little grace. He is willing to replace things from his old life with new things, and can face things head on, but would rather dart away to his safe space. He’s quick to run away, and getting a hold of him (both emotionally and physically) is incredibly difficult. And, well, he’s also very small and very cute despite being an angry little fella who would very much so like to be put down.

Ashavise, Fox It wasn’t hard to figure out Ashavise’s connection to the Fox. She’s cunning and shifty, always analyzing others and figuring the best plan of attack. She’s untrustworthy and always ready to run, but that doesn’t mean she’s in any way a coward—she just knows when not to waste her energy fighting. Of course, she isn’t afraid to make a fuss over something, and she’ll nip at people’s heels to get what she wants. However, she’s also very good at lying in wait, spending ages in anticipation for someone to let their guard down before she pounces. She’s not above lying and cheating at all to get what she wants. But, despite her more unsavory traits, she’s a fiercely protective woman who will do anything for her kits—whether they be dead or only partly dead.

Ademamar, Draft Horse It may be ironic, but Ade’s got a lot of similarities to the Draft Horse. Bulky and dense in more ways than one, Ademamar is more like the Horse than other animals reflective of his actual physique. The Horse is symbolic of freedom and power, but also limited by perceived obstacles. Just a shadow in the road can have him skittish and leave him unable to cross over it, even if the obstacle would be nonexistent for others. He may be able to pull an immense amount of weight and he may have the stamina to do it for a very long time, but once he falls, he falls hard, and finds it incredibly difficult to get back up. But, much like the Horse, all it takes for him to get back up is some food and a loving companion.

Harta, Cocker Spaniel She’s small, loyal, excitable, and a bundle of curly, curly hair, but Harta can be feisty and stubborn, too. An intelligent young woman, Harta’s eager to please and possessive over what’s hers. She’s small and full of energy, and her looks can be very deceiving. She can put on a sweet personality to match her friendly outer appearance, but she’s still got sharp teeth she can bring out at any moment. Not to mention, she’s part of quite the sizable litter of siblings…

Ozol, Frog First off, like with Ade, I recognize the irony of pairing up a character with an animal that is so wildly different from them size-wise. But pairing Ozol with the Frog made perfect sense. the Frog is a symbol of rebirth, renewal, opportunity, and healing. For someone who escape the oppressive Qun regime, Ozol was lucky to be someone blessed with the ability to not only get out, but to heal and grow from the experience, emerging as a better version of himself. Frogs are the first indicators of spring, singing out happily at a new, warm, and fertile world. Ozol counts his blessings every day, knowing that he was one of the lucky ones. He’s a good companion for long, troubling journeys, and prides himself on being a reliable guide, both along a trail and in life.

Semiha, White-Tailed Doe Having Semiha Adaar share a very similar animal to Redren is—if one knows how wildly different the characters are—strange, to say the least. Much like the Deer, at a distance, Semiha is tall and beautiful, she wields her magic beautifully and with immense skill. But, once you get close to her, she stumbles over her own two feet, drops her weapons accidentally, and fumbles over her words when faced with a pretty girl. But, even though she may be a little skittish at times, and tends to wish she could flee scary situations with all the grace of a startled, clumsy forest creature, she can stand tall and proud when the situation arises.

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