#liar dark lies 4th liar

[youremyheaven]

Shatabhisha & The Rahuvian Urge to Lie

In the light of several of you guys telling me about your experiences with Shatabhisha nakshatra natives who were pathological liars and overall terrible people. I thought I'll do my research 🤪😌and what I found astounded me.

Shatabhisha is ruled by the planet Rahu, which is known for its mysterious and unconventional nature. Rahu is associated with the shadow, the unknown, and the supernatural. In Vedic astrology, Rahu represents desires, ambitions, and illusions. It can bring both good and bad results, depending on its placement and the overall horoscope. Therefore, the lord of Shatabhisha can bring a mix of energies and influences, such as intuition, creativity, eccentricity, and spiritual growth, but also confusion, deception, and hidden enemies.

Shatabhisha is the final concluding Rahuvian nakshatra and I feel like the concluding nak of each planet is the most extreme manifestation of its energies but also the point where it transcends beyond itself.

Shatabhisha is associated with the deity Varuna, the god of cosmic and moral order. Varuna is also linked to water, emphasizing the purification aspect of this nakshatra. The connection with a thousand flowers signifies the blossoming of spiritual potential. Varuna (god of the rains/ cosmic & terrestrial waters, sky and earth). also, the mystical healer and the lord of “maya” or illusions. varuna is also sometimes referred as the “dark sun”, he influences the west direction and is active after sunset.

Given that the deity of Shatabhisha is the Lord of Illusions/Maya and Rahu is itself a shadow planet associated with deception, lies and illusions, its no wonder that these natives are often prone to lying.

Pathological lying is defined as "the compulsive urge to lie about matters big and small, regardless of the situation."

SZA, Shatabhisha Moon, Vishaka Sun is known for being a pathological liar

Here is a video exposing her lies. Tbh SZA lies about things that are so unnecessary and obvious??? she once said that BTS ignored her at an event when there's video proof of them interacting and hugging each other 😭😭She has lied about her real hair, fake freckles, her age, used to say she was a marine biologist, being allergic to fruit & more. It’s mostly little lies that literally don’t even make sense why she is even lying about it.

I feel like being dishonest is a broadly Nodal trait (no offence u guys lmao) and SZA's chart is dominated by Nodal naks. She has Venus in Mula, Mars in Swati, Jupiter in Ardra to make matters worse she has Ketu in Ashlesha (Ashleshas can be hella manipulative) and Vishaka Sun & Mercury (Vishaka is a rakshasa gana nak which means these natives are veryy self serving)

Jameela Jamil, Shatabhisha Sun, Ketu in Swati

Tbh I can't keep track of everything Jameela has lied about because she lies a lot. Here's an article that goes into it. She has a thing for claiming she has suffered from or is currently suffering from a ton of different illnesses (mercury poisoning, celiac disease, a rare tissue disorder, a breast cancer scare, she's deaf in one ear, severe peanut allergy etc) and just a ton of other sketchy stuff in general lol

Halsey, Swati Rising & Mercury (She also has Hasta Sun)

Halsey has always claimed to be half black when in reality she is 1/4th black (her dad is half black), she allegedly suffers from Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, Sjogren's syndrome, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, POTS etc i don't want to speculate about someone's health but whenever someone talks about having more than 2 serious chronic conditions, it just feels hella sus??? She said she was kicked out of her house as a teenager by her parents but someone who went to highschool with her apparently exposed her saying that wasn't true and that she left on her own to pursue music. Halsey also claimed to have been some sort of edgy misfit outcast in highschool and the same person said she was actually pretty popular and was very good at Art

Victoria Beckham, Venus conjunct Jupiter in Shatabhisha and Ardra Rising

She is certainly not the only one who has tried to convince us that her chest looks the way it does because of a push-up bra. But Victoria Beckham overdid it with her lies. She had been denying for years that she had undergone surgery for a breast augmentation. But then, one sunny day in July 2009, she slipped up. It happened before an L.A. Dodgers baseball game, where Victoria was given the honor of throwing the first pitch. She walks off the field, and says loudly in her mic that she is a bit worried her pitch would displace her implants. Boom! The truth was out! Her D-cups remained intact, but the damage to her reputation was done. Some years later, the former Spice Girls member had a reduction, and she now claims she regrets of having had the surgery in the first place. She also very recently claimed she grew up super working class when its pretty much public knowledge that she's from a vvv wealthy background (her nickname is literally Posh Spice?? like girl???)

Taylor Swift, Ardra Moon, Ketu in Ashlesha

This has turned into one of the biggest social media scandals in Hollywood in the past decade. It all started with the notorious line in Kanye West’s song Famous: ‘I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex/Why? I made that b**ch famous”. Swift’s reaction to these derogatory lyrics was …well… swift and brutal. She complained about being victimized by West and him taking the credit for her success. But then the Invincible Kim took matters into her hands. She broke the internet by posting a Snapchat video of a conversation between Swift and West, in which Swift was saying she had no problem with the lyrics. That was a huge blow as Swift had been whining for weeks about how she had insisted on being “excluded from the narrative.” Sister, if you really wanted to be excluded from the narrative, you should have said that first thing when the rapper called you to ask for your consent!

She also acts like some country gal when her dad is a stockbroker and she grew up on like a 200 acre farm and had her career handed to her lol

I feel like Nodal girlies love to play victim, along with Moon dominants & Ashleshas

Tyga- Ashlesha Moon conjunct Ketu

He grew up in a rich family in LA but claimed to be from the 'hood lol

Robert Pattinson- Ardra Moon

He has admitted that he lies all the time in interviews lol tbh its kinda funny

Here's an article about it. my fav bit is the one time he lied about hating the circus because he saw a clown die as a kid lmfao

Grimes, Shatabhisha Mercury

Grimes lied about throwing a snowball at Queen Elizabeth II's motorcade when she was visiting Vancouver. Somebody pointed out that on that day there was no snow in the city, so it was impossible for her to make a snowball, let alone throw one.

 She lies about bizarre things that she doesn't even need to bring up. Like, telling Rolling Stone magazine she had to get over her fears and conceive X by having unprotected sex and letting Elon cum inside her. Later, the Isaacson book proved it was IVF 🤡🤡

She has also been accused of having lied about being homeless in the past

Lana Del Rey- Ardra Sun

There is an old interview with some guy who studied with her and he said she used to lie all the time lol It was really interesting to see someone in her inner circle kinda reflect on that. His name is Ron Pope. He said

“Actually, I knew her in New York many, many years ago, when she was still going by her real name, Lizzy Grant. And I thought that she was endlessly fascinating, because she was always kind of expressing herself by being a character. She would tell you a story and you're like, "I don't think that's true, but I don't care."

Well, after we were introduced, she told me that she grew up in Arkansas in a trailer park, and was raised by her grandmother. But I'd already known that she was from a family of means in New York. So I was just like, "Huh, you don't say, Arkansas, trailer park." But it was like being around a performance artist. It's not like they're a pathological liar or something, they're just a person creating a character.”

Lana lied about her age at the beginning of her career and to this day she says she grew up poor and is "white trash" when she went to a private boarding school as a teenager ???

Lady Gaga, Swati Moon conjunct Ketu

Gaga once told that she was bullied in school to the point of being thrown into a trash can because she was "eccentric and theatrical", when in fact she went to one of the most expensive schools in New York (which makes unlikely that something like this would go that far).

There was a bit that she claimed her aunt possessed her and wrote a poem, which she showed to her fans on live stream; someone googled that poem and found it online.

When Amy Winehouse died, Lady Gaga told a reporter she couldn't speak a thing for 48 hours.

When recording the scene where Maurizio is killed, the only thing that went through her mind was "What did I do?"; also, she claims that she spoke with Italian accent for 6 months after the footage was finished.

Kylie Jenner, Ashlesha Sun, Swati Moon

she lied about not getting plastic surgery for yearssss, claiming she just gained weight or whatever lol

Sara Ali Khan, Ashlesha Sun, Shatabhisha Moon

She's descended from royalty on her father's side, her mother comes from a very influential family, both her parents are successful actors, she went to fkn Columbia University for her undergrad yet she claims to be a "normal middle class girl" and says that she does not pay for mobile roaming cause its too expensive?? 😩😂and she is known for her PR stunts lmao, just a few days ago she was "spotted" helping underprivileged people when its sooo obvious that she called the paps to film her lmfao

Zayn Malik, Shatabhisha Venus & Rising

When Zayn Malik quit One Direction, he claimed it was so that he could shy away from the spotlight and lead a normal life. I don't know about you, but most 22-year-olds aren't releasing solo albums. Considering Malik debuted his first solo track only a week after leaving the band, it appears as though he lied about the reason for leaving. Especially since he's released a lot of solo music. In an interview with Billboard, he came clean about One Direction not being what he expected. So, I guess he just got fed up with the boy band life, huh? He could've just been honest from the beginning, though. 

Steve Rannazzisi, Ardra Sun & Moon, Venus in Ashlesha atmakaraka

The League actor Steve Rannazzisi lied about being in the World Trade Center on 9/11. He originally had an elaborate story about that tragic day prompting him to pick up and move to Los Angeles to pursue his comedy dreams. But in September 2015, Rannazzisi said:

I was not at the Trade Center on that day. I don't know why I said this. This was inexcusable. I am truly, truly sorry.

As he says himself, this is a pretty "inexcusable" lie. I will say, though, at least he came clean about it. When it comes to honesty, better late than never.

Galileo Galilei- Shatabhisha Sun, Ashlesha Rising

Galileo was more convinced that Earth revolves around the sun. This led to his trial in 1616. Galileo obeyed the church order to end all discussion on the matter. But after 16 years, he published a book that the Catholic Church could not accept at the time.

I thought I should include him because this is such a huge example of telling the truth?? even at great personal odds?? imagine being the one to stand up to the goddamn church in an era where everyone was convinced the sun revolved around the earth lol??

it goes to show that not everyone with certain placements will turn out to be liars and deceivers.

Kurt Gerstein- Shatabhisha stellium, Saturn, Ketu and Rising

Kurt Gerstein was a deeply contradictory figure, who's life and work bear examination as an example of how a deeply flawed person can still try to do admirable things.

Born to a virulently authoritarian and later aggressively pro-Nazi father, he grew up in strongly ultranationalist circles. At university, at his father's behest, he joined a far right student association/fraternity.

At the same time, he became involved with the Confessing Church, an organisation dedicated to fighting back against Nazi influence in the Protestant churches, who's membership included a number of prominent German resistance figures. He spent a small amount of time in prisons and in camps for distributing anti-Nazi material, but his father's influence allowed him to escape serious punishment.

In 1941, he joined the SS, in his own words "acting as an agent of the Confessing Church." Shortly beforehand he discovered his sister in law had been murdered as part of what we know as Aktion-T4, the genocide of the mentally ill and physically disabled. His plan was to get inside, find whatever evidence of crimes and atrocities he could, and get them published for all the world to see.

Due to his experience in pest control and water purification, he was made head of the subsection of the SS responsible for supplying Zyklon B, an industrial rat poison, to a variety of sites in Poland. When he asked what the obscene quantities of poison gas could possibly be being used for, he was invited to witness the camps himself.

He attempted to tell the world of what he had seen at Belzec and Treblinka, telling a Swedish diplomat, a Swiss diplomat, A Dutch resistance man, and anyone else he could get his hands on, but nobody really took notice.

He spent years trying to get the story out, until in 1945 he surrendered to a French officer, telling him everything in the hope that his testimony could be used to prosecute senior Nazis and camp officials. He was given a hotel room and a typewriter and told to write his report.

After he was done, he was treated as a war criminal and transferred to a military prison where he was found hanged in his cell, likely driven to suicide by what he viewed as the final failure of his task.

After his death, his report has continued to be used as one of the definitive accounts of the Holocaust, being used in the Nuremberg Trials, the Eichmann trial, and the trial of David Irving.

Once again, it is possible to have these placements and still tell the truth and stand up for the truth. our birth chart reveals our natural tendencies, what we must do is rise above them. and contrary to popular belief, we can rise above our nature.

I hope this was interesting xx

#astrology notes #vedic astro notes #sidereal astrology #astrology observations #nakshatras #astrology #vedic astrology #astro observations #astro notes #astroblr #jyotish #rahu #shatabhisha

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey! I work in a bookshop and quite frequently get asked by parents about Anna Huang or other ‘dark romance’ books which have become popular on tiktok. They often very clearly have no clue what they are and have been asked for them by the kid. I’m totally fine with that and each to their own but sometimes I get the question of whether they’re ‘appropriate’, today it was for a 14 year old. I never want to snitch because I’m sure I read the same when I was 14 but I also don’t know how to feel about lying. As someone who talks about sex ed, do you have any advice for talking to parents about books that depict sex explicitly (and with questions about ‘age appropriate-ness) and potentially what you normally recommend to and for teenagers that age, particularly in front of parents?

hey man, I'm gonna be so real with my take on this:

1.) parents don't need to know everything their kids are reading and 2.) if they're so worried about whether or not a book fits what they think is appropriate for their kids, there are... so many ways to do that. literally just google it, besties. read the synopsis. tiktok dark romances are not shy about what they're about.

and if they're right there in the store, odds are they can get their hands on a physical copy of bestseller Ana Huang's books and flip through to get a sense of what's going on. again, the romance genre is not subtle; catching points of concern will not be hard. your job as a bookseller is to get books in people's hands; the vetting process is up to them and that doesn't make you a liar, frankly.

a good canned response might be something like "a lot of teenagers like these books, and kids tend to be pretty good at knowing what kind of stories they're ready to read. if you're worried about it, maybe you can try reading some reviews of the book before you buy it or having a conversation with your kid about the content." no lies there, and kids really are stellar at just noping out of stories that aren't really landing on their wavelength. and on the flipside of that, kids are actually WAY MORE CAPABLE than many parents think of reading potentially upsetting stories and processing it just fine.

the last time I was teaching sex ed classes with my 4th-6th graders there was this darling boy on the older end of the group who LOVED reading romance novels, but on the day our class was talking about consent he told me very seriously that he thought the characters in his books were actually pretty bad at just talking to each other and how those kinds of relationship dynamics wouldn't be very good in real life. he was completely right! and totally aware that things he thought were interesting to read about weren't good role models! amazing!

for a 14 year old in particular, I think drawing hard boundaries around sex in books is frankly very silly. when I was in middle school the Hunger Games was being cheerfully recommended to every kid who walked into the library; if a 14 year old can read about a bunch of teens slaughtering each other in a state-sanctioned dystopian blood bath they can absolutely read about two people having dubiously written sex.

#bookblr

[pearlsephoni]

At the End of the Sun, Ch 14: Answers

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: M

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: Chapter: 5.4k; Whole Work: 160k

Summary: With betrayal comes answers.

A/N: Originally published on AO3 on March 4th. Further author's notes can be found there.

It’s over.

Shoyo’s heart clenched at the hurt resignation lining the man's wilting form. He’d done that to him. This was his fault. “It's not over!” he pleaded, “It's not! It hasn't been a year yet! We still have time together, I could’ve stayed home after taking the flowers to my family, but I came back, for you. I just…I couldn’t stand not knowing anymore."

"Why?" the man demanded. "Why now?! It's been months, we got so fucking close—” His voice caught on a breathless sob as he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. “A month! We just had a month! Why—?" He choked off, hands falling from his eyes to stare at Shoyo, the ire in his gaze intensifying with the realization washing over his features. "This happened after you went home. Why?"

"I…I just…" Shoyo was startled to feel tears on his cheek, and he rubbed them away with rough hands. "I don't know anything about you! I didn't understand how bad it was until I realized that I couldn't tell my family anything about you. I don't know your name, I don't know what your life was like before all of this, nothing!"

"That's bullshit, I've told you about myself—"

"I know you, Okami-san. But I can't tell my family about your favorite curry, or how much you love your sister, or how kissing you makes me feel invincible." Some part of him, deep inside, took comfort in the way the man's eyes softened, just a bit.

"My mom kept asking questions that I didn't have answers to, and don't tell me that I could've lied!" Shoyo ordered before the man could even open his mouth. "You've met her, and you know I'm a terrible liar. I swear I didn’t say anything, I kept my promise, but I couldn’t think of answers to her questions, and…that’s how she figured everything out. She’s the one who gave me the candle. And I resisted using it, I did, until Nee-san came and reminded me of how little I know about either of you, and that I didn't know why. You wouldn't even tell me why! So I thought that I could at least see your face. I deserved that much, to see who I was doing this all for. Please, Okami-san…” He set the candle aside, sat back on his heels, and bent forward until his forehead touched his hands where they were pressed against the floor. “I didn't know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Silence fell and lingered, stretching on until Shoyo was aching with the temptation to look up. But he held his dogeza, and finally, he heard soft steps approaching him. A calloused hand found his chin and pressed up, until Shoyo had no choice but to lift his head and meet hauntingly dark blue eyes. They were only things that felt familiar out of his whole face, and Shoyo clung to that, even as his eyes flickered over the rest of the man’s body where he knelt.

“…Don’t apologize,” the man eventually muttered, “you’re right. It wasn’t fair of me to keep you in the dark for so long, after everything you’ve done. We just…we got so close.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” He felt strangely meek in front of the man's human form, with his straight posture and the casual command lining his body. Who…who was he? His stature belied the initial awkwardness he’d had in their first few weeks, even months, together. "M-maybe…maybe I can make it up!"

"Don't, Sho."

"We still have a month, I could—"

"Don't!" The firm word startled Shoyo into silence, letting the man mutter, "I meant what I said. It's over. The year, the deal, all of it. It stopped mattering the second you lit that candle and looked at me."

"I don't…I don't understand, what do you mean? The year isn't over, we were supposed to have a year!"

Confusion stained his desperation when the man screwed his eyes shut and let out a deep sigh. “I guess I can tell you now,” he murmured after a beat. “I was cursed. If you’d lasted one more month without seeing my face, then the curse would’ve been broken. I would’ve stopped transforming, I could’ve gone back home, back to my life…”

The grief falling over the man’s face was dwarfed by the devastating guilt choking off Shoyo’s air. A month. One month, and it would’ve been over. One month, and they could’ve returned to their lives, could’ve begun to build a new one together.

It was all Shoyo’s fault. No amount of reassurance would change that. And so, despite what the man had commanded before, Shoyo whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” the man predictably scolded. “You messed up, but so did I. I wasn’t allowed to explain the curse to you, but I could’ve…I dunno, I could’ve figured out a way to answer your questions without revealing everything. This wasn’t fair to you.”

“It’s not fair to you, either.”

The man didn’t respond beyond a sigh, wilting where he knelt until his forehead rested against Shoyo’s. "I wish you'd trusted me," he whispered, words trembling, "I know why you didn’t. I know it wasn't fair. But I thought…I thought that, with how strange everything else was, you could at least trust me. This all would've been over if you'd just trusted me."

An apology rose to Shoyo's lips, but he bit it back. He knew it was futile. Nothing would change what he'd done. And no amount of insisting how much he loved and cared about the man would make up for the fact that he hadn't trusted him in a way that mattered.

There was no fixing his mistake. All he could ask was, "...What happens now?"

"I don't know." The man's eyes fluttered open as he pulled away, pinning Shoyo under a gaze full of grief and exhaustion and, worst of all, fear. "I don't know what happens if I try and fail to break the curse. Maybe I'll be stuck as a wolf forever, or maybe I'll be taken away for the rest of my life. I don't know. I'm…I'm scared, Sho."

The soft admission twisted something in Shoyo’s chest, and before he could rethink his move, his hand came up to cup a faintly stubbly cheek. He nearly jerked away immediately, but then the man leaned into his touch with a quiet sigh and shuttered eyes.

The sight of those eyes fluttering open again to gaze at him from under messy black hair tugged at something in Shoyo's memory, something beyond the awe of the man’s beauty. He was handsome, yes, but he was also so familiar, in a way that couldn’t be explained away by Shoyo’s familiarity with his wolf form nor his sister. “Okami-san,” he whispered, “who are you?”

The laugh that huffed out of the man was humorless, a bitter complement to the sad curve of his lips. “You already know me."

“Yeah? We’ve been living together for—”

“Dumbass, not like that.” His flippant words were in sharp contrast to the way he pulled Shoyo’s hand from his cheek and held tight to it. “I mean…you already knew me.”

“What—?”

“My name’s Tobio.”

Shoyo’s face creased with confusion. Tobio…Tobio…why did that sound so familiar?

When recognition didn't hit him, the man let out a soft huff and continued, "My name is Tobio, and when I was little, my favorite thing to do was sneak into samurai training and spar with an annoying little tangerine of a boy."

Realization hit him like a boulder, making his face go slack with shock just as the man—no, Tobio—chanced a look at him. “You…that was you? Why couldn’t I remember your—oh.” Shoyo’s guilt was suddenly crested by pure mortification. “Oh, no. Spirits, I…I told you about—shit!”

“About what?” A small, teasing grin tugged at Tobio's lips, like a ray of sunlight breaking through the clouds of his grief. “About falling in love with me?”

Shoyo couldn’t get annoyed. He was too busy untangling their fingers so he could bury his face in his hands. “That’s so— I’m— you didn’t say anything, you ass!”

He put up a half-hearted resistance against Tobio’s attempts to pull his hands away, only to give up completely at the sound of a real laugh. How could he resist the chance to see those lovely lips spread into the warmest smile he’d ever seen?

“I couldn’t say anything!” Tobio was saying as he managed to tug Shoyo’s hands from his face and hold them tight. “I couldn’t risk you knowing what I looked like. But I wanted to, Sho, it killed me that I couldn’t tell you. The curse wouldn’t let me.”

It made sense, but Shoyo didn't want to admit that out loud. Besides, he had a more important question: "What happened to you? Why did you stop coming to training?"

"Ah…I was sent away to complete my own training." A frown flickered over his sweet lips, as though he were being forbidden from samurai training all over again. "My grandfather wanted me to focus on training to take over the…the family trade."

Curiosity pricked at Shoyo. But before he could ask about the "family trade," Tobio's frown melted into quiet longing. "I missed you so much. Everyday, I thought about sneaking back to see you. Sometimes, when training got really hard, I imagined you were with me and pushing me to work harder."

He bundled Shoyo’s hands into one of his own—Shoyo valiantly tried to ignore the pulse of heat that went through him at the sight of his hands being so easily dwarfed—to brush the backs of his knuckles against Shoyo’s cheek in a heartachingly tender touch. “I’ve known it was you since the start, since before the start. I wanted to tell you who I was, tell you how I felt about you, but I couldn’t. If…if I’d known telling you who I was would’ve kept you from lighting the candle, I would’ve told you when the year began.”

A thrill shot up Shoyo’s spine, even as he felt like he was drowning in those eyes and his own resurfacing guilt. “You recognized me?”

“How could I not? I fell in love with you, dumbass. And between your hair and how loud you are, you're pretty easy to notice in a crowd.”

Despite the taunting words and his indignant flush, Shoyo still felt the knot in his gut begin to loosen at the fondness glittering through the hurt in Tobio’s eyes. “It’s not my fault you always—”

Realization choked him off, the pieces of the puzzle rearranging themselves into an ugly picture. “You…did you plan this?” he asked, his stomach twisting tighter with every word.

Tobio blinked. “What?”

“Did you plan this?” Shoyo repeated, much firmer this time. He rose to his feet, panicked betrayal making him pace as his throat tightened. “You remembered who I was. You knew me from before. Did you…did you pick me because you hoped I would fall in love with you again? You took me from my work, from my family, all to—” His words caught on the lump in his throat. He’d thought…he’d thought what they had was pure, real, untouched by the curse or the illness or any of the strange circumstances they were caught in. But the thought of Tobio knowingly orchestrating this somehow…deliberately seeking out Shoyo and waiting for the chance to offer a deal…

“What? No!” Tobio scrambled to his feet and tugged his robe back on, but he didn’t make any move to come closer. Some part of Shoyo was grateful for that—he couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t lash out if Tobio tried to touch him. “No, I swear, I didn’t plan for any of this. I thought I would be stuck with this curse forever. How can a talking wolf convince someone to leave their life for a year? But then I overheard you and your mother talking about the flowers, and I realized that I could make the journey. I could give you what you needed. This could be an exchange, instead of me just…taking a year of your life.”

He took a slow step towards Shoyo, and Shoyo took a step back, his eyes stinging with tears. “Shoyo…,” Tobio pleaded, his voice softer with entreaty, “I didn’t want any of this to happen. It would have been so, so much easier to keep pretending I didn’t know you and live as only friends. I should’ve known that would be impossible. I couldn’t keep myself from falling for you before. I don’t know why I thought I could do it this time.”

“Don’t…don’t flatter me,” Shoyo mumbled, still holding himself back. Every nerve in his body ached to fall back into Tobio’s arms, to let his eyes drink him in as hungrily as his hands had for the past several months.

In the short time he’d been able to see Tobio’s human form, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was looking at an heir. It was etched in his posture, the quiet confidence in his voice, the steadiness of his eyes. But now, in just these few moments, all of that had melted into desperation and guilt. His shoulders were curved in, his hands were hesitant, and his eyes searched desperately for something in Shoyo’s gaze. “I’m not,” he croaked now. “It’s not flattery. It’s the truth. I didn’t…I didn’t want to fall for you. Not like this.”

He took another step towards him, and this time, Shoyo let him. He stood tall and raised his chin, trying to stare down at Tobio despite him looming over Shoyo. But his lips trembled, no matter how tightly he pressed them together, and he could feel a sob clawing its way up his throat.

Tobio didn’t touch Shoyo when he finally stood in front of him. He just…gazed at him, and Shoyo stared back, greedily drinking in his features despite everything. Even in the faint, flickering light of the candle, he was the most handsome person Shoyo had ever seen.

He didn’t know how to reconcile this…this beautiful man with the quiet voice and gentle touches he’d fallen in love with in the dark, or with the wolf who had kept him company and offered comfort, or with the grumpy, bratty boy who had demanded the very best from him. It made it easier to hold onto his panic and sense of betrayal as he grappled with whether or not he was telling the truth.

Then those lovely lips parted, and in a soft voice that reminded Shoyo of whispered confessions and gasped pleas, Tobio breathed, “Shoyo.”

That was it. Shoyo broke. A sob heaved out of the bottom of his lungs, and he felt tears begin to run down his cheeks as Tobio rested their foreheads together with a soft sigh. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he whispered, “and the biggest inconvenience to my heart.”

“You don’t get to say that,” Shoyo complained with a wet laugh.

“No,” Tobio agreed sheepishly, “I don’t.”

Shoyo’s fingers clung to Tobio’s robes at his waist as he sighed and leaned in more, letting their noses brush and their lips ghost against each other. “You’re my favorite inconvenience,” he murmured on a shuddering breath, smiling despite himself.

Tobio laughed, a light brush of air against Shoyo’s cheeks. “Mine, too.” He leaned in to touch his lips to Shoyo’s, the contact so light, so hesitant, that Shoyo could hear the unspoken ask for permission.

He gave it easily, tilting his chin for a proper kiss. It was quick and chaste and made his heart feel too big for his chest. It made him remember one of the lines his father used on his mother, a line that had made him and Natsu groan when they were little, but that he now felt the full meaning of. “You’re my whole heart, Okami-san…Tobio.”

He could hear Tobio’s breath catch, before he repeated in a whisper, “Mine, too. I’m sorry, Sho.”

“Why’re you apologizing?” He pulled away to meet Tobio’s eyes, heart clenching at the tears shining at him. “Oh…,” he breathed, cupping his face and brushing his thumbs along his dark, damp lashes, “what happened, Tobio?” Saying that name again after so long felt surreal, but he had to focus. “Who did this…all of this to you?”

Tobio swallowed hard as he took Shoyo’s hands and quietly brought him back to the futon, kneeling in silent invitation. “It…it was an accident,” he murmured once Shoyo sat in front of him, “a stupid accident. That’s what caused all this.”

Everything in Shoyo burned to verbally urge him to keep talking, but he could see him searching for the right words. So he stayed quiet, only encouraging him with a squeeze of his hands.

“I was 16,” Tobio eventually said, “when it happened. I was allowed to go hunting with my own party for the first time, without my grandfather or tutors supervising. It was all I’d ever wanted growing up, and I was…I was desperate to prove that I’d earned that independence. I didn’t want them to regret it, especially my grandfather.

“It started out fine. Great, even. We set up camp early in the morning, and spent the day hunting for our lunch and dinner. We’d heard word of more wolves being around than usual, but I still managed to shoot down a deer, and that fed most of the party for lunch. I was so proud of myself, until one of the other boys shot down a wolf that had been drawn in by the smell. Suddenly he was getting all of the praise and attention for protecting the party, and I…I was 16. I was stupid, egotistical, and jealous. I felt like he’d stolen the glory I got for feeding the party.”

He let out a slow breath, though it did nothing to smooth away the furrow between his brows. “I didn’t mean to act on that. I wasn’t planning on it. What were the chances of us seeing another wolf, anyway? But then, when we headed back out, I was allowed to go off on my own. And that’s when I saw it: this big, beautiful, dark brown wolf.

“It didn’t notice me at first. It was too busy drinking from the river. But when it did, it didn’t…do anything. It didn’t snarl or try to attack. It didn’t even look upset. It just looked at me, huffed, and turned away.”

Tobio’s fingers shook around Shoyo’s, only stilling when Shoyo gave them another steadying squeeze. “I told myself I did it to protect the party from another potential attacker. But that wasn’t it. I think I was just…I dunno, insulted by how easily it ignored me. Like it didn’t think I was worth worrying about, like I didn’t pose any sort of danger. My ego was so bruised that I didn’t stop to think about how weird it was for a wild wolf to act like that. I didn’t think at all. I just aimed an arrow and fired at its heart.”

Shoyo felt his own heart crawl up to his throat. “Did you…?”

“Yeah. A perfect shot.” Tobio let out a humorless laugh. “Just like I’d always been taught. The wolf fell behind some bushes, so I couldn’t see it, but I could hear its pants and whines. It was in pain, and I wanted to shoot it again, just to end its suffering. So I started walking towards it, and I got close enough to hear when…when its sounds changed.”

His fingers tightened almost painfully, but Shoyo didn’t budge or make a sound. He was too focused on the anguish and regret creasing Tobio’s face. “It didn’t sound like a wolf anymore…it sounded like a man. A man in pain. There was a flash of light just as I stepped past the bushes, and when I could see again, I didn’t see a wolf. I saw two men: one was in a kimono and the other was naked and bleeding all over the lap of the kimono, with my arrow stuck in his chest. The man in the kimono’s hand was glowing with magic, and he had it over the other man’s wound, and they were speaking to each other.

“I don’t know how long I stood there. I don’t know how long the first man tried to heal the second. But eventually the second man pulled the first man’s glowing hand away and held it to his lips. And then he…the man I shot, he…he died.

“That's when the first man started screaming.” Tobio’s eyes screwed shut, as though he were hearing the screams at that moment. “I…I’ve never heard grief like that before. And then he looked at me, and I…” A shudder went through him, and the light of the candle flickered over his heaving chest. “I didn’t know I could ever do something to earn that sort of rage. I thought he would set me on fire with just his eyes.

“He looked at me, me and my bow and arrows, and said, ‘You did this.’ He asked me if I was proud of myself, killing an innocent man, being a murderer. Asked me if I knew what I’d done, who I’d taken from him.”

Tobio’s voice was hollow as he recited the words, but Shoyo felt fear creep cold and quiet through him. “He didn’t let the other man go the whole time. He just…knelt there, called me a spoiled child, said I probably haven’t faced a consequence in my life. My short, sorry life. But he wanted to be the first to give one to me.”

“Oh,” Shoyo breathed, “then he…he…”

“He cursed me.” Tobio’s eyes relaxed open to meet Shoyo’s wide gaze. The pain and regret in his dark depths made Shoyo ache with the longing to go back in time and save him somehow. “I had to find someone to live with me for a year and let me sleep next to them without ever seeing my human face. That would require the kind of trust that would be impossible for a murderer like me to find, especially as a wolf.

“I didn’t say anything, couldn’t say anything. By the time I would’ve asked him what he meant, he’d already transformed me and told me that until I could meet those terms, I’d be cursed to be a wolf by day and a human at night. And then he was gone. I was forced to escape the hunting party and survive on my own for a month. I didn’t have anything except my bow, arrows, and the clothes I was wearing.

“By the time he found me again, I had managed to make my way here, and I was sleeping under the engawa because I didn’t have the keys to the house. He was the one who unlocked everything, and he gave me the bracelets for whoever I convinced to live with me. He said I should be grateful he was even helping me that much. And the thing is…I was. I couldn’t understand why he was helping me, but I didn’t question it. I was too scared to ask.”

Something from months ago pricked at Shoyo’s memory. “That’s why you said you couldn’t remember,” he breathed, “when I asked you if you looked like your sister. If you were 16, then…six years? You’ve been like this for six years?”

Tobio didn’t say anything, just rested his forehead against their joined hands and nodded weakly.

Six years…six years to finally get a shot at breaking the curse, and Shoyo had ruined it. And they’d been so close, too. “I’m sorry,” he gasped, bringing his hands to Tobio’s cheeks and making him meet his eyes. “I’m sorry, Okami-san…Tobio, I’m so sorry, I didn’t— I didn’t know, I should’ve listened—”

“Don’t, don’t cry,” Tobio said, as though his eyes weren’t also welling up, “don’t, Sho, you couldn’t have known.”

Shoyo didn’t care. His guilt didn’t care. It still weighed heavy in his stomach like a rock, until it shifted inside him as he flung his arms around Tobio and held him tight.

The tender embrace undid him, undid them both. With a sob, Tobio buried his face into Shoyo’s shoulder and held him tight around his waist, pulling him closer and closer until Shoyo had to fit himself in his lap and press his tear-soaked face into dark hair.

“Whatever happens,” Tobio choked out, his words muffled in Shoyo’s robes, “whatever happens, I’m glad it was you. I don’t care about the curse, Sho, it doesn’t matter. This year was still worth it.”

“Don’t say that,” Shoyo hissed. “I’ll fix this, I’ll figure out a way. I’ll fight that sorcerer if I have to.”

That earned him a wet laugh. “Dumbass, you can’t fight Oikawa. You don’t know what he can do.”

“I don’t care—”

“I do.” Tobio pulled away and looked Shoyo in the eye, his bloodshot eyes eerie in his firm focus. “You can’t put yourself in danger like that. Whatever he does, you have to let it happen. Okay?”

“Tobio—”

“Promise me, Sho.”

“I can’t,” Shoyo cried, “I can’t promise that, you can’t ask me to promise that. How am I supposed to let you go?”

A sad smile pushed at Tobio’s tear-stained cheeks as he rested a hand against Shoyo’s cheek. “You have to. You’ve done it before.”

“Because I didn’t know you were leaving! We were so young and I didn’t know you would disappear and…and this was supposed to be different, Tobio. We were supposed to finish this together. It’s my fault we didn’t, and now I have to fix it.”

“Dammit, you…you stubborn dumbass,” Tobio groaned, despite the smile still on his lips. “Why can’t you let me protect you?”

“I’m a samurai, stupid,” Shoyo laughed through his tears, “I’m the one who should do the protecting.”

“I don’t want you to protect me.”

Tobio’s eyes flickered over Shoyo’s face, like he was trying to memorize it. It was all too similar to how his mother and sister looked at him before his pilgrimages to Edo, and Shoyo hated it. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’ll never see me again.” Shoyo took his face in his hands again, squishing his cheeks a bit, just because he could. “You’re mine, Tobio, and I’m yours. As long as you want me, you’ll have me.”

“Yeah? What if I want you forever?”

Only he could make a confession that sweet sound so competitive. Shoyo loved him so much. “Then I’m yours forever. I mean it, you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

The smile that pulled at Tobio’s lips was small, but effused warmth. “Good.”

Oh…oh, Shoyo couldn’t believe he’d gone so long without this, without seeing those dark eyes glitter like they contained stars, or those cheeks flush so sweet, or those lips smile so warm. He could spend the next eternity soaking in every detail of those impossibly handsome features, learning every flicker of emotion and matching them to what he’d spent the last year learning in the dark.

“Hey.”

“Hm?”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

Shoyo frowned at Tobio’s teasing grin, despite the affection blooming within him that matched the affection in those eyes. Within one night, he was already learning to read his face so well. “I have an excuse,” Shoyo grumbled, giving a light pinch to Tobio’s cheeks. “I didn’t get to see you this whole time. I have to make up for lost time.”

“Dumbass,” Tobio scoffed. But he didn’t pull away from Shoyo’s hold, and when Shoyo began tracing his fingertips over his face the way he had so many times in the dark, he could see Tobio’s eyes widen and his teasing features relax into solemnity.

He really was the most beautiful man Shoyo had ever seen. He was objectively handsome, of course he was, but it wasn’t just that. It was the sharp edge to his nighttime gaze. It was the downward set of his soft lips when he was fully relaxed. It was the silken hair Shoyo had come to know so well between his fingertips, and that fell so perfectly past strong brows. It was the way his proud, handsome features softened when he looked at Shoyo with so much love.

“Tobio.”

“Hm?”

“Tobio.”

“Yeah?”

“I just…like saying it,” Shoyo hummed in an echo of the first time Tobio had said his given name.

“I like hearing it.”

“Really?” A cheeky grin curled Shoyo's lip when he saw apprehension crease between Tobio’s brows. “You like it better than Okami-san?”

“Yeah, dumbass, I like my own name better than ‘Mr. Wolf,’” Tobio snorted. “I can’t believe I fell for you when you called me that.”

With a chuckle, Shoyo brushed a kiss to Tobio’s lips. “I fell for you even though you didn’t let me see you. I don’t think ‘Mr. Wolf’ is so bad compared to that.”

“That’s not— that doesn’t—” He gave up with a low growl. “Just shut up and kiss me, dumbass.”

Gladly.

Their kisses were slow, lazy, and tender, almost obscene in how much they relished each drag of their lips. It stoked a heat in Shoyo that made his hands wander down Tobio’s loosened robe, but that was it. He was content with slow kisses and gentle touches, was content with being able to finally let his eyes open to see kiss-swollen lips and a heavy gaze.

He let himself be laid back down on the futon, let his legs be parted to welcome Tobio between them. But he didn’t feel a need for anything more. They just…kissed, and touched, and held each other close. And it was enough. They were enough.

At some point they drifted to sleep, with Tobio barely remembering to blow out the candle. With sleep came a reminder of the unknown of morning, of how uneasy this joy was. In the morning everything would change. In the morning they could be parted forever.

Except they wouldn’t be parted, not forever. Shoyo wouldn’t allow it.

For the first time, when his eyes fluttered open, he wasn’t alone. Tobio was still laying next to him, already awake and silently watching him. He could also see faint light beginning to slip through the cracks in the window shutters, making dread settle in his chest. “Hi,” he murmured, keeping his voice low out of habit more than anything.

“Hi.” A small smile danced over Tobio’s lips, only to melt away as his eyes flickered to the window and back to Shoyo. “I don’t know if I should be here.”

“Because you don’t know if you’ll turn back into a wolf?”

Tobio silently nodded.

Shoyo let out a slow breath. “Okay…okay. Well…can we watch the sunrise together? Before whatever happens…happens?”

Tobio’s eyes widened for a moment, before softening as his lips twitched into a minuscule smile. “Yeah.”

The morning light was still murky and gray as they made their way to the engawa. Somehow, Tobio still looked breathtaking, even in the cool light. Shoyo almost couldn’t bear to look away as Tobio got settled on one of the stairs leading up to the porch and looked back with a pat on the step above him. But the allure of holding him close and warm won out, and soon Shoyo was sitting behind Tobio and tugging him against his chest, close enough that he could prop his cheek against his temple.

“I wish the sun would never rise,” he whispered into his ear, even as they watched the first rays turn the sky purple and pink.

Tobio didn’t scoff about how impossible and childlike that wish was. All he said was a quiet, “Why?”

“Because then we could sit here like this forever.”

“Oh.” Tobio took one of Shoyo’s hands that were settled against his collarbones and pressed a kiss to it, murmuring into his skin, “Then I wish that, too.”

With that, they fell into a silence that was somehow both relaxed and tense. They rocked gently in their embrace, sometimes pressing a kiss to whatever part of each other was easiest to reach, but otherwise just soaking in each other’s presence beneath the vibrant colors of the sunrise.

When the sky began to shift from pink to blue, a strangled gasp suddenly ripped out of Tobio. He shot up to his feet, grabbing at a pillar for support.

Shoyo barely managed to fall back before Tobio’s rising head could hit him in the nose. “Tobio?!”

“Oikawa,” Tobio gasped, grabbing at his chest and staring into the woods with frantic eyes. “He’s coming.”

#haikyuu!! #ateots #at the end of the sun #kagehina #shobio #pearl writes #pearl's stuff #shoyo hinata #tobio kageyama #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #haikyu!! #hq!! #haikyuu #haikyu #fanfics #fics #fanfic #fic #kagehina fics #kagehina fic #kagehina fanfics #kagehina fanfic #shobio fics #shobio fanfics #shobio fic #shobio fanfic

[dfroza]

One True God

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 4th chapter of the letter of Ephesians:

As a prisoner of the Lord, I urge you: Live a life that is worthy of the calling He has graciously extended to you. Be humble. Be gentle. Be patient. Tolerate one another in an atmosphere thick with love. Make every effort to preserve the unity the Spirit has already created, with peace binding you together.

There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were all called to pursue one hope. There is one Lord Jesus, one living faith, one ceremonial washing through baptism, and one God—the Father over all who is above all, through all, and in all. This God has given to each of us grace in full measure according to the Anointed’s gift as the Scripture says,

When He ascended to the heights,

He put captivity in chains;

And in His triumph, He gave gifts to the people.

(Well, when it says “He ascended,” then that must mean that He had descended earlier to the lower levels, that is, to the earth. The One who descended is the same One who rose from the dead to ascend far above all the heavens so that He could fill all things.)

It was the risen One who handed down to us such gifted leaders—some emissaries, some prophets, some evangelists, as well as some pastor-teachers— so that God’s people would be thoroughly equipped to minister and build up the body of the Anointed One. These ministries will continue until we are unified in faith and filled with the knowledge of the Son of God, until we stand mature in His teachings and fully formed in the likeness of the Anointed, our Liberating King. Then we will no longer be like children, tossed around here and there upon ocean waves, picked up by every gust of religious teaching spoken by liars or swindlers or deceivers. Instead, by truth spoken in love, we are to grow in every way into Him—the Anointed One, the head. He joins and holds together the whole body with its ligaments providing the support needed so each part works to its proper design to form a healthy, growing, and mature body that builds itself up in love.

Therefore, as a witness of the Lord, I insist on this: that you no longer walk in the outsiders’ ways—with minds devoted to worthless pursuits. They are blind to true understanding. They are strangers and aliens to the kind of life God has for them because they live in ignorance and immorality and because their hearts are cold, hard stones. And now, since they’ve lost all natural feelings, they have given themselves over to sensual, greedy, and reckless living. They stop at nothing to satisfy their impure appetites.

But this is not the path of the Anointed One, which you have learned. If you have heard Jesus and have been taught by Him according to the truth that is in Him, then you know to take off your former way of life, your crumpled old self—that dark blot of a soul corrupted by deceitful desire and lust— to take a fresh breath and to let God renew your attitude and spirit. Then you are ready to put on your new self, modeled after the very likeness of God: truthful, righteous, and holy.

So put away your lies and speak the truth to one another because we are all part of one another. When you are angry, don’t let it carry you into sin. Don’t let the sun set with anger in your heart or give the devil room to work. If you have been stealing, stop. Thieves must go to work like everyone else and work honestly with their hands so that they can share with anyone who has a need. Don’t let even one rotten word seep out of your mouths. Instead, offer only fresh words that build others up when they need it most. That way your good words will communicate grace to those who hear them. It’s time to stop bringing grief to God’s Holy Spirit; you have been sealed with the Spirit, marked as His own for the day of rescue. Banish bitterness, rage and anger, shouting and slander, and any and all malicious thoughts—these are poison. Instead, be kind and compassionate. Graciously forgive one another just as God has forgiven you through the Anointed, our Liberating King.

The Letter of Ephesians, Chapter 4 (The Voice)

A note from The Voice translation:

Now that Paul has described the new world as God would have it, he urges believers to live out their callings with humility, patience, and love: to walk as Jesus walked. These are the ways of Jesus. Paul encourages them to do whatever it takes to hold onto the unity that binds people together in peace. He does not ask them to create that unity; this has already been accomplished through the work of the Rescuer and His Spirit. Rather, he calls believers to guard that unity—a more modest but no less significant task—because that unity is founded on God’s oneness and work in the world.

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 40th chapter of the book of Jeremiah:

The word of the Eternal came again to Jeremiah after Nebuzaradan (captain of the imperial guard) found the prophet in chains with the rest of the exiles from Jerusalem and Judah and let him go. He had been taken to Ramah with the others who would soon be deported to Babylon. When the captain of the imperial guard learned of the mix-up, he took Jeremiah aside and spoke to him.

Nebuzaradan: Your God, the Eternal, commanded all of this to happen. He brought this disaster on this land, just as He said He would. And it all happened because your people sinned against the Eternal and refused to obey His voice. But today I am giving you your freedom. I am ordering the chains removed from your wrists. I am also giving you the chance to decide where you will live. If you’d like, you can come with me to Babylon, and I will look out for you. But if you’d rather not come to Babylon, then don’t. Look around you; you can go from here today and live anywhere you want. You decide.

But before Jeremiah turned to leave, Nebuzaradan made a suggestion.

Nebuzaradan: Why don’t you go back to Gedaliah (son of Ahikim and grandson of Shaphan)? The king of Babylon has put him in charge of the towns of Judah. You could live with him and still be among your people. But again, feel free to go where you please.

At this point, the captain gave Jeremiah some food and supplies, along with a gift, and released him. Jeremiah took his advice and went to Mizpah where Gedaliah (son of Ahikim) had settled. There he remained with the others who had been left behind in the land of Judah.

The news reached Judah’s army officers and soldiers who were scattered throughout the countryside that the king of Babylon had appointed Gedaliah (son of Ahikam) governor and put him in charge of the men, women, and children—the poor people of the land—who had not been deported to Babylon. So a group of them came to Gedaliah’s home in Mizpah to meet with him. These included Ishmael (son of Nethaniah), Johanan and Jonathan (sons of Kareah), Seraiah (son of Tanhumeth), the sons of Ephai the Netophathite, and Jezaniah (son of the Maacathite), along with all their men. Gedaliah (son of Ahikam and grandson of Shaphan) reassured those who gathered.

Gedaliah (to the leaders and their men): Do not be afraid to serve the Chaldeans. If you will settle peacefully in the land, agree to serve the king of Babylon, and give up any idea of rebelling against him, things will go well for you. I will continue to live here in Mizpah and act as your representative whenever the Chaldeans come and want something from us. Go back and live in the villages and towns you have taken over. Harvest the grapes for wine, the summer fruits, and the olives for oil. Store what you gather, and live your lives in peace.

When all the Judeans living in Moab, Ammon, Edom, and the other neighboring nations heard that the king of Babylon had permitted a few people to remain in Judah and left Gedaliah (son of Ahikam and grandson of Shaphan) in charge, they began to return home to the land of Judah from all the places to which they had run. With Gedaliah as their leader, governing from Mizpah, they returned to their ancestral lands to gather a great harvest of grapes for wine and summer crops.

Now Johanan (son of Kareah) and the rest of the army officers who were still in the field came to Mizpah to speak with Gedaliah.

Johanan (speaking for the rest): Are you aware that Ishmael (son of Nethaniah) has been hired by Baalis, the king of the Ammonites, to kill you?

But Gedaliah (son of Ahikam) had not heard of this threat and was not inclined to believe them. So while he was in Mizpah, Johanan asked to speak with Gedaliah privately.

Johanan: Authorize me to go and kill Ishmael (son of Nethaniah). No one will know what happened. Should he be allowed to kill you just because he thinks you’re a pawn of Babylon? Think of what will happen to those Jews who have returned home and look to you as their leader. They will be scattered again, left to die because Babylon would consider this an act of aggression against them.

Gedaliah: Do not kill him! What you are saying about Ishmael is not true!

The Book of Jeremiah, Chapter 40 (The Voice)

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for Tuesday, October 10 of 2023 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons about “In the beginning…”:

In Jewish tradition, the word “Bereshit” can refer to either the first Torah portion of the Bible (i.e., Gen. 1:1-6:8) or to the first book of the Torah itself. When it is used to refer to the Torah portion, it is called “parashat Bereshit” (פָּרָשַׁת בְּרֵאשִׁית) and the text covers the creation of the universe, including Adam and Eve, the subsequent transgression of Adam and Eve, the murder of Abel by humanity’s firstborn son Cain, and the increasing depravity of the generations until the time of the calling of Noah. When it is used to refer to the book, however, it is called “sefer Bereshit” (סֵפֵר בְּרֵאשִׁית) or the “Book of Bereshit,” and the text covers everything from the creation of the universe to the descent of Jacob’s son Joseph into Egypt in anticipation of the great Exodus. Note that the ancient Greek translation of the Bible (i.e., the Septuagint) called this book “Genesis,” (Γένεσις: “birth”, “origin”), a name that was carried over in subsequent Latin and English translations.

The first Torah portion of Bereshit opens with this succinct statement about the creative activity of God: “In the beginning (i.e., “bereshit”) God (i.e., Elohim) created the heavens and the earth.” Note immediately that the Scriptures therefore begin - not from the first person perspective of some man’s understanding of God - but from an omniscient third person perspective, a divine Voice that reveals the Glorious Power that created the entire cosmos by means of His Word. The very first verse of the Bible, then, alludes to the triune nature of God, as further indicated by the use of the plural form of the name Elohim with the singular verb bara (he created). Indeed, the word bereshit itself includes the root idea of “head” (i.e., rosh), which suggests the “head of all things,” that is, to the Messiah, the Creative Word of God who is the “head of all beginning and authority” and through Whom and for Whom all things were created (Col. 1:16; 2:10).

After its astounding opening line, shrouded as it is in mystery, the Torah describes how God created the universe yesh me’ayin (יֵשׁ מֵאַיִן) - “out of nothing” (Heb. 1:3) over a six “day” period. On the first day God created darkness and light; on the second day He created the atmosphere, dividing the “upper” from the “lower” waters. On the third day He set the boundaries of land and sea and seeded the earth with trees and vegetation. On the fourth day He fixed the position of the sun, moon and stars as timekeepers and illuminators of the earth. Fish, birds and reptiles were created on the fifth day; and land animals, and finally the human being, on the sixth. God ceased from His creative work on the seventh day, and sanctified it as a day of rest: the very first Shabbat...

In addition to this general, “day by day” account of the creation of the universe by God, the Torah provides a more focused account about how God formed Adam’s body from the dust of the earth and blew into his nostrils the “breath of life” (נשׁמת חיים) so that he became a “living soul” (נֶפֶשׁ חַיָּה). Notice that the more detailed account includes reference to the LORD God, which is the first time the name YHVH (יהוה) is used in the Scriptures. Interestingly, in this second account the earth is described as a sort of “desert.” The earth was barren of vegetation, no rain had yet fallen upon the earth, and the LORD formed the man from the “dust from the ground.” After breathing into him so that he became a living soul, God planted a garden (or orchard) in Eden, “in the east,” and there caused every tree that was pleasant to the sight and good for food to spring up from the ground. In the very midst of this orchard were two special trees: “the Tree of Life” (עץ החיים) and “the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil” (עֵץ הַדַּעַת טוֹב וָרָע). God then instructed the man to tend the orchard and to eat from whatsoever tree he desired, though he was warned not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, “for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die” (Gen. 2:17).

For more on this topic, see the Hebrew for Christians web site.

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

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Genesis 1:1 Hebrew reading:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/gen1-1-jjp.mp3

Hebrew page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/gen1-1-lesson.pdf

Bereshit Summary page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Scripture/Parashah/Summaries/Bereshit/bereshit.html

10.9.23 • Facebook

from yesterday’s email by Israel 365:

The psalm describes our anticipation for God as greater than a watchman’s wait for dawn. Just as we trust the sun to rise every day, we are confident in God’s promise of salvation and the eventual redemption of Israel.

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

October 10, 2023

Teaching Universe

“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge.” (Psalm 19:1-2)

This familiar psalm, extolling God’s creation (vv. 1-6) and God’s Word (vv. 7-14), begins with a beautiful summary of the testimony of the physical universe. “The heavens” and “the firmament” are synonymous (Genesis 1:8), both being equivalent to our modern scientific concept of space. The “glory of God” refers to His infinite power, or energy, and “his handywork” implies the infinite variety and complexity of physical systems, or matter, in the universe. This interaction of matter and energy occurs everywhere throughout space, but also has to operate and be understood in the context of time, “day unto day” and “night unto night.”

The entire marvelous complex of space/time/matter/energy is continually “uttering speech” and “showing knowledge,” teaching men and women of all times and places that there is a great Creator God who made it all. “The invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen” (Romans 1:20).

The boundless space, the endless time, the infinite energies, and the innumerable complexities of the matter of the universe all unite in irrefutable testimony to the God of creation. The most fundamental principle of science, as well as the most universal rule of human experience, is the Law of Cause and Effect, stating that no effect can transcend its cause. Thus, the great cause of the universe must be infinite, eternal, omnipotent, and omniscient. And since we as living, feeling persons are able to think about all this, that cause must also be a living, feeling, thinking person. This is the great lesson engraved on the textbook of the universe for all to read and learn. The whole creation, indeed, declares the glory of God. HMM

[indigo474]

1623-full moon vibes-

no mid life tattoos. i thought about a moon tattoo- maybe i'll settle for moon jewelry.

i ask him if he drives a red car- i know he drives a red car- i hear me telling me-this guy drives a red car. i do drive a red car- how did you know? i'm a witch, i just know things. i just knew.

every time i have ever trusted anyone who has lied to me i have regretted it. every time. what's worse than someone lying to me is someone calling me a liar- maybe not worse. you don't know me if your calling me a liar. this happens when i unintentionally call people out on their b/s. if it came out of your mouth how can you deny saying it- you have to remember saying it right?

proof of insurance sent vie picture email. obviously a 4th name blocked out on paper- i guess he would be responsible for his other kids health insurance. makes me wonder how many people knew. NOBODY gave a shit about me. he was justified in what he was doing and i was the crazy sick wife he couldn't leave. such a fucking coward. i have to wake up everyday and forgive myself for letting that monster control me. it's all so obvious NOW. he's not even that smart-he's just sick i guess- GOD i hope he gets what he deserves-

i can feel her energy-a gray energy- dark - not dark evil- dark sad. everytime i see her she says i hate my life. she doesnt look good. its sad and i'm sorry. i want to tell her she is strong and brave. I don't. I smile a little smile and mouth the words i'm sorry. she's not looking at me or talking to me-she's just existing trying her best to make it through every day.

Life goes on.

[catmarlowastrology]

Armie Hammer's Natal Promise (Predictive astrology)

This post was requested! I tried to connect his birth chart to what we know of him now and to find some astrological explanation for his actions. It took me a while to put all the pieces together, so sorry for the delay anon'! ^^ I'll maybe do another one about his personality in the future.

This is just my analysis and is for entertainment purposes only (don't sue me Armie)!

Natal Promise (Predictive astrology)

His Part of Fortune in the 4th house shows that he was born lucky. His family is pretty wealthy, and this is shown by his Part of Fortune in Virgo (an earth sign - material wealth). The ruler of the 4th house (Mercury) is in the 3rd house in the sign of Leo (fame, wealth).

His Midheaven in Pisces and the ruler Neptune in the 7th house show that most of what we would know of him would be idealized (Pisces) and would have something to do with his relationships (7th house). Jupiter, the ruler of his 7th house, is also in the 10th house.

Interestingly, Pisces rules over photography and the cinema and Armie is an actor.

His Midheaven is conjunct his Uranus/Lilith Midpoint. He will be known for his weird and dark sexual fantasies. Jupiter is also conjunct his Lilith/Midheaven Midpoint, expanding the dark sexual energy that would be linked to his reputation at some point in his life.

His Pluto/Midheaven midpoint is in the 7th house. So this is another placement that confirms that his relationships will have a huge impact on his career and his reputation.

Another thing that confirms this prediction is the energy present in his Midheaven Persona Chart. He has Neptune (lies, illusions) in the 10th house, Mars (aggression) in the 1st house, and Pluto (power struggles, destruction) in the 7th house. His Sun falls in the 12th house, showing that he will lose his career.

Jupiter in the 10th house shows luck and expansion in regards to his career and his status. He didn't have to struggle that much.

His Ascendant in Gemini at a critical degree (29°) is conjunct the fixed star Menkalinan. This star is mostly an unfortunate one. It predicts someone who will cause their own destructions due to their rash behavior.

The 29th degree is also a Leo degree predicting popularity and recognition.

The ruler of his Ascendant, Mercury, is conjunct the fixed star Al Jabhah. This star is described as someone who is a profound liar and predicts scandals. In Armie's case, it would be attached to his physical appearance. What he does with his body would result in a scandal.

Moon square his Midheaven is an indicator of a wobbly reputation. The Moon represents women in a man's chart and here we can see that they would create problems in regards to his reputation, career, and status.

Moon in the 12th house of hidden enemies is also another indicator that women would come out at some point and expose his ass.

Mars and Neptune in the 7th house bring aggressive passion and Neptunian fantasies into his relationship sector. It's also an indicator of divorce (Neptune dissolves anything it touches) and of potential arguments and violence in a relationship (done to him or by him).

Gemini risings often have multiple long-term relationships or marriages. In his case, this pattern is present 3 times: the 2 planets in his 7th house, Jupiter (the ruler of this house) badly aspected (it receives multiple squares and an opposition), and Sinistra conjunct his DC.

His Sagittarius Descendant at 29° is conjunct the fixed star Sinistra. This blew my mind because this star predicts an immoral and shameless nature. Since it is touching the DC, it would apply to his relationships.

Pluto in the 5th house predicts power struggles in regards to things he finds pleasurable (which would indicate sex). His Pluto receives trines and sextiles from multiple planets and other points in the chart. All those aspects give even more power and energy to his Pluto. Pluto at 5° would also indicate that at some point in his life, he would be known (5th degree - fame degree) for that.

The 7th house can show our open enemies. In this case, Mars and Neptune would represent courageous and passionate enemies. Neptune could also represent other actors or artists.

His North Node in Aries is conjunct the fixed star Baten Kaitos. It is another unfortunate star and tends to predict ruin and humiliation. In Armie's chart, it falls in the 11th house of community. People will reject him. What is interesting is that his South Node (past life) is in the 5th house. When I analyzed his SN Persona Chart, I saw that he had a pretty good and powerful past life (Sun conjunct MC, Pluto and Venus in 10th, Jupiter in the 2nd). It was all about him (5th house = self-expression), who he was and what he created. But in this life, he had to devote himself to the collective (which he didn't).

He might lose all his money at some point in his life. The Moon rules over the 2nd house and is in the 12th house.

#armie hammer #midpoints #astro notes #astro observations #fixed stars #predictive astrology #degree theory #pisces midheaven #mars in the 7th house #neptune in the 7th house

[mlwritingprompts]

Submitted prompt: Locked in Space-Time Vaccuum.

Hi I'm the person who wrote the "cosmic deletion" prompt and I wanted to make another prompt to the "broken time" au of @emberwritesinsight. That Au is one of the most interesting things I saw here those days in this fandom (better than Adrien stans drama and the abomination that is the 4th season, but they were bad from the beginning anyways).

AU where Lila was not much of a liar before going to Paris.

Lila Angst.

TW: some existential crisis, possibly unreality

-----------

For an undetermined amount of times, Lila cursed the fact she had ever entered the cursed city of Paris almost an uncountable amount of times.

The reason for that isn't because Ladybug did something to annoy her again.

It isn't also because Hawkmoth targeted her or made her angry in some way.

It isn't even because Marinette had somehow grew closer to Adrien or that that girl tried to expose her lies.

No.

 The reason why she was cursing her moving to Paris is exactly due to this situation she was in.

Pitch black darkness surrounded her everywhere.

Her was body suspended in what seemed to be an endless void where nothing exists.

There was no light, no sound. Nothing at all.

She was simply walking inside her house, planning to eat some food by using the money she had, only for that to happen.

A black rift in space opened around her, surrounding her than closing, dragging her to this... place!

Lila Rossi would have cried at the sheer, endless loneliness this place exuded.

If she was even able to cry, that is.

Her body, locked into the same form and movements she was in before being sucked into this abyss of nothingness.

Here, she was paralysed, unable to move, completely at the mercy of this void surrounding her.

Her body couldn't move.

Heck, her eyelids couldn't move either.

And she was pretty sure her heart hadn't beaten even once since she was imprisoned here.

The only thing that seemed like a silver lining is that somehow, her body never tires here, so she won't be dropping from exhaustion any time soon.

And to hammer the point home, she was sure her being unable to die here is not even a blessing in comparaison to the utter horror she was experiencing.

In this world where nothing existed but her mind, her own senses seemingly ceased to exist as well.

She could see nothing.

She could hear nothing.

She could taste nothing.

She could smell nothing.

She could sense nothing, not even the very clothes she knew she was wearing right now.

All her senses simply ceased to work in this void, and the only thing that seemed to even work is her ability to think.

She no longer knows how long she was here, supended, forcibly immobile, unable to physically feel anything.

And the kicker?

This isn't even the first time this had happened to her.

The first time it happened was, if she can even recall it correctly, was a few weeks before she joined François Dupont school, just a few days after she moved along her mother to Paris.

She was simply enjoying the sights, and accidentally left the house after her mother exited...

And then darkness swallowed her.

That was the first time she ad ever felt so utterly hopeless, as she mentally begged for her mother, her papa, anyone, to save her from this crushing emptiness.

It took her barely what seemed to be hours for her to lose hope, and then it took her only few more time to start talking to herself to ignore the utter isolation surrounding her.

She didn't know for how long this kept happening, but when it ended, she found herself on the ground, in her house, and it was apparently the day where she would have entered the school.

Normally, she would have broken down and begged her mother to never leave her ever again, but the horror kept going.

Her memories and feelings of what happened to her during that whole month were somehow... erased.

As if they never existed.

The only thing she felt was a huge subconscious desire to NEVER ever be ALONE.

No matter what. No matter how.

Going to the school, she didn't know why she had the urge to talk to others and make them like her, even by lying.

When she saw Adrien, the model, her senses kept blaring.

He is special, he is important. If I connect with him, I will not be alone.

That was her thinking process.

She didn't understand at that time why she felt this compelled to have connections with HIM personally, but she just could't ignore that drowning sensation of wanting to be acknowledged, which made Ladybug's harsh yell all the more horrifying to her, even if she STILL couldn't understand why.

Ladybug was trying to stop her from being acknowledged, she was therefore an enemy, and Lila, controlled by her subconscious fear, ended up hating the heroine with all her being.

Sometimes around that, she once again ended up into the same void, and the memories of her harrowing experience returned, which nearly threw her into a mental breakdown.

That was her life at this point.

Being trapped into this hellish void, deprived from all her senses and mobility, with no one but herself existing here. From this angle, she could see her actions, could ask questions--why Adrien in particular? Why did she hate Ladybug so much?

Then returning to the original world, while forgetting all her memories inside this Abyss, having more trauma that subconsciously affect her.

Then trapped once more, as she remembered ALL the other times she was "temporarily deleted" from her world.

And as she is there, unable to do anything but look blankly at the darkness in front of her, she can only pray and beg for people to help her.

Mama, Papa, please, help me.

I dont care who saves me, Ladybug, Hawkmoth, even the Devil himself, I don't care! Just please save me!

I... I just don't want to be alone any more...

----------

That... was more depressing than I thought.

=======

....you are tempting me

#submission #ml writing prompts #Lila Rossi #Miraculous Ladybug #Show!Miraculous #Show!Marinette #Show!Adrien

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Hi! I’m a big fan of your work!! I am looking for more but unfortunately I feel like I have read all yhe good Harry Potter docs on Ao3. Do you have any recs?

Sorry for the delay, I just know that whenever I make rec list it usually ends up taking a while.

With that, Harry Potter fics are a big genre. Just saying Harry Potter in general really isn’t that specific to me so this is across genres/character focuses/you name it.

Also, as usual, I’ve been on fanfiction longer and have amassed more favorites there. Some of these are cross posted to Ao3. Similarly, a lot are unfinished, this personally doesn’t bother me but if it bothers you take heed.

Also, you’ll see my embarrassing obsession with Tom Riddle. So, heads up for that.

Stepbrother (Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger, period piece, in which the two remind me a lot of Nabokov)

Cat Among the Pigeons (Tom Riddle/Lily Evans, Psycho-Pass Detective AU, in which I am a beta actually so my promoting this goes without saying)

Til Death Do Us Part (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Voldemort wins AU, which for me does very well with the concept of immortality and what exactly Tom is supposed to do after he wins)

This Tangle of Thorns (Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger, modern AH AU, a full on Nabokov inspired fic which I enjoy because Lolita)

Delusional (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, sort of. Harry wins the war, goes crazy, checks into a mental hospital. Or he’s not crazy and Voldemort is as unkillable as Palpatine.)

Harry Potter and the Natural 20 (OC insert, D&D inspired, shameless crack. I mostly enjoy the beginning of this but it makes me laugh enough to recommend.)

A Hairy Business (AU, Harry is a deer, he is literally a deer, that’s it. It’s funny.)

Animus, Anima (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry travels back in time, gets stuck in Tom Riddle’s brain, and it turns out Harry’s responsible for every terrible thing that ever happened. This one was squicky even for me, very well done, but strap in.)

Addendum, He is Also a Liar (Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger, Tom has an inexplicable ability to travel to the future, but only to this random little girl Hermione Granger)

Framed & Fractured (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry gets stuck in an evil painting back in time. Tom is creepy as usual.)

Trying for Eden (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry travels back in time to lecture Tom into morality. It doesn’t work.)

Magical Mirrors (Luna Lovegood and Severus Snape, Luna and Snape stumble on the Mirror of Erised at the same time and strike up a conversation)

Aphelion (Hermione Granger/Loki, MCU crossover, Hermione and Loki strike up the world’s weirdest toxic friendship when Hermione’s young and attending Hogwarts, this leads terrible places as Loki slides into madness and despair)

Wandering Souls (Luna Lovegood and The Undertaker, Black Butler crossover, Luna meets and strikes up a conversation with the Undertaker)

Of Lies Most Beautiful (Tom Riddle, Hunger Games crossover, Tom wins the Hunger Games becaues that’s what he does bitch)

In Wonderland (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry ends up back in the past and decides to raise Tom Riddle. This goes so poorly that the pair almost get eaten by eldritch gods multiple times.)

Rumpelstiltskin, Guess My Name (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Female Harry travels back in time and offers to save Merope’s life/get her Tom Riddle Sr. the non rapey way in return for her firstborn son. Merope thought Harry was joking. She wasn’t joking. In the sequel, also linked, Harry kills Morfin.)

The Eyes (Harry Potter, AU, turns out “the power he knows not” is the power humanity knows not, Harry’s ability to see eldritch abominations and cosmic gods and thus bring them far enough into our reality that they eat everything. And I mean everything.)

Mirror Mirror (Harry Potter, MCU crossover, Harry makes a huge mistake and stops Hulk in the middle of a rampage. This gets him abducted by octopus nazis.)

I See the Moon (Harry Potter and Bruce Banner, MCU crossover, Harry got brain damage from the war and wanders around the middle of nowhere. He runs into Bruce. He’s now Bruce’s only friend.)

You Will Be the Death of Me (Harry Potter and Tom Riddle, Despicable Me inspired, through a series of convoluted events Tom as the world’s worst father figure ends up raising Harry the sad adorable orphan.)

In Death, Standby (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter (sort of, the authro claims), Tom raises Harry, the only Tom raises Harry that I’ve seen done well because Tom is the world’s worst father. Harry thinks he’s a deformed snake until the age of three.)

Little Harry’s Mirkwood Adventure (Harry Potter and Dudley Dursley, Hobbit Crossover, one of the most Tolkien style crossovers I’ve actually seen and is very good)

A (Self-Imposed) Trap for a Fool (Ginny Weasley, turns out Harry Potter never existed, as in he’s a collective hallucination made up by the entire wizarding world)

McLaggen and From McLaggen with Love (McLaggen, a detective AU then a James Bond style adventure starring McLaggen, the greatest wizard who ever wizarded)

Tom Riddle’s Diary: on keeping devils in the summer (Tom Riddle, Tom Riddle’s antichrist orphan adventures involving exorcism and burning people alive)

and the fates sing (hold on, son) (Harry Potter, MCU crossover, Harry is the son of Loki and like all children of Loki he is a wretched and cursed thing)

A Faulty Master (Harry Potter and Itachi Uchiha, Naruto crossover, Itachi after the massacre of his family has a run in with a master of death Harry, who is a creepy creepy man)

Eye of Reason (Harry Potter/Jack Frost, Rise of the Guardians crossover, due to the mythos surrounding his life Harry ceases to be a man and becomes akin to a god)

Flowers for a Ghost (Luna Lovegood and Itachi Uchiha, Naruto Crossover, Luna befriends a blind ghost)

Third Time’s the Charm (Harry Potter, MCU crossover, Bruce Banner keeps trying to kill himself and MoD Harry is there to have himself a real good day)

Blind Faith (Bellatrix LeStrange/Tom Riddle, canon compliant, an in depth look at Bellatrix from the escape of Azkaban onward)

Cocktail Time (Rita Skeeter and Gilderoy Lockhart, Rita does an expose and autobiography detailing the descent of Gilderoy Lockhart and how he became what he became)

Fantastic Elves and Where to Find Them (Harry Potter, canon divergent AU, Harry thinks he’s an elf. That’s it.)

The Twine Bracelet (Colin Creevy, a look at Colin’s death) 

Legal Alien (Harry Potter, MCU crossover, Harry visits New York and an alien invasion breaks out. Culminates with the best, dumb, joke.)

The Root of Desire (Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger, Hermione travels back in time and tries to influence Tom. All this does is inspire his sexual awakening.)

Deadheads (Harry Potter/Godric Gryffindor, a romantic comedy of a kind, culminating in the best dumbest joke)

Give and Take (Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger, Hermione tries to outwit Tom, it ends in despair)

The Road to Somewhere (Harry Potter, Spirited Away crossover, Harry as MoD is in the realm of the spirits)

Absolute (Harry Potter, Harry picks up a death note, he kills everyone)

Fortunate Son (Dudley Dursleys, years afterwards Dudley looks back and writes a memoir and expose about the abuse inflicted on his cousin)

Elective Affinities (Severus Snape/Harry Potter, Harry travels back in time to discover his parents are assholes and things are more complicated than he imagined)

Juxtaposed (Bod, Graveyard Book crossover, Bod attends Hogwarts)

The Fire Omens (Tom Riddle and a look at WWII)

Broken Toys (Tom Riddle and his useless broken toys)

The Fine Art of Poisoning (Madame Zabini)

A Marriage of Convenience (Pansy and Theo get married)

Reparabilis (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Tom becomes a professor, he still destroys Harry Potter)

The Unforgivable Curses (Draco Malfoy, a look at the 4th year unforgivable lecture with Moody and the Slytherins)

Ugly (Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy one sided Dudley/Harry Potter, Dudley’s fat, ugly, and creeps on his cousin)

Three Can Keep a Secret (Harry Potter, on secrets and secret keeping)

Caveat Incimici (Hermione Granger, on Hermione and her terrifying wrath)

Babylon (Harry Potter and Tom Riddle, Harry never gets rid of Tom)

Wonderful Tragic Mysterious (Luna Lovegood and Albus Dumbledore, Luna Lovegood time travels and becomes a young Albus’ neighbor)

In the Clockface, Weighted and Weary (Harry Potter/Ariana Dumbledore, Harry after DH ends up back in time in Dumbledore’s childhood and witnesses the beautiful Dumbledore family dysfunction)

Eternal Return (Harry Potter and Tom Riddle, Harry is reincarnated as Tom Riddle and as a result becomes Voldemort so that a Voldemort exists)

Like Pale Fire (Harry Potter/Godric Gryffindor, the Founders are resurrected and it turns out Harry had travelled to the past and become Salazar Slytherin, turns out the Founders were more complicated than people expected.)

12 Moves Sideways (Harry Potter and Light Yagami, Death Note crossover, Light becomes the Defense Professor, for once Harry does not figure out the mystery.)

A Very Young Girl’s Record of Her Own Impressions (Ariana Dumbledore’s diary)

Night Comes Early (Moody on war)

Little Witches (The Black family women and how it all falls apart)

Paved with Good Intentions (Petunia on finding a baby on her doorstep)

Emerald Serpent for Vanity (Draco and Nagini introspective)

Blue (Tom Riddle/Bellatrix LeStrange, Voldemort wins dystopia, Tom visits Bellatrix’s grave and is very crazy)

Eighteen (Hermione Granger, on Hermione’s betrayal of her parents)

Ouroboros (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, on what they’ve made of each other)

Not so Different (Scout, To Kill a Mockingbird Crossover, Scout reflects on the wizarding world’s raicsm)

Traitor (Hermione Granger, Hermione is captured by the Death Eaters and commits unspeakable acts to free herself)

Smashing Mirrors (Tom Riddle, introspective)

Twelve Dark Moons (Luna Lovegood/Tom Riddle, Luna becomes a captive of the dark lord)

Full Circle (Harry Potter, Harry wins and is miserable)

The Web of a Thousand Spiders (Luna Lovegood on the diary)

The Metronome (The fall of Lucius’ entire generation)

Understand (Hermione Granger and her betrayal of her parents)

Tea with the Headmaster (Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore, the pair have tea)

This Grief Feeling (Hermione Granger and Severus Snape after the end)

After Innocence (The trio after the end)

Of Great Turmoil and Excess Stupidity (Sesshomaru and Hagrid, Inuyasha crossover, Hagrid decides to capture a demon for class)

What’s Left of Hope (Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore, on preserving hope)

In His Keep (Severus Snape and Luna Lovegood, Snape informs Luna her father has died)

Wednesday (Petunia Evans, introspective)

In the Presence of Angels (Moody in WWII)

What He Grows to Be (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry Potter raises Tom Riddle in the past and it goes horribly wrong)

Being Cassandra (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Tom, and their strange AU friendship)

The Girl (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, a fem Harry Potter keeps accidentally appearing in Tom’s childhood)

Corruption (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Tom wins AU and female Harry slowly becomes corrupted)

One Night Stand (Tom Riddle/Lily Evans, a wonderful look on the first war, Tom Riddle, Lily Evans, the Order of the Phoenix, and terrorism)

The Voldemort Principle (Severus Snape, turns out Snape was Voldemort the whole time and Harry is a lying liar who lies)

Harry Potter and the mountain of pure diamond (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry has become an ageless god who travels worlds and decides to raise Tom Riddle. He’s disturbed when he realizes Tom is more of a person than he is)

A Road Less Travelled By (Harry Potter/Lucius Malfoy, Harry’s a veela, just read it, it’s amazing, I know I sound crazy but it is)

Transformation (Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Draco gets eaten by the Forbidden Forest and then Harry gets eaten too)

Rock Bottom (Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Tom gets trapped being defense professor and has a miserable time)

#ask #anon #harry potter #recommendations

[vampire207343]

Xiao Yanli, Different lives

What if... After the death of the Girl-Who-lived, Marigold Dorea Potter she was reborn to seven different life to make up for the horrible Childhood as a gift from Lord Death after returning all 3 Hallows to Death.

The first life I had was when I was Marigold Potter the only daughter of Lily and James Potter. I lost both my parents at the age of 1 on the night of Hallow Eve, when we were attack by the Dark Lord known as Voldemort. It wasn't long after my parents death that I was sent to lived with my mother's hateful sister Petunia Dursley and her husband Veron Dursley who Abus me they have basicly made me their own slave until I was 7 years old and I was taken as the apprentice of Aoko Aozaki,

I trained under her until I was 12 years old before I enter Clock tower and I enter the department of creation, Modern Mage theory, and General Fundamentals. I have an Ex circuit Quality and having a duel Element of Creation and Fantasy. She also became a Master in the 5th Holy Grail War having manged to summon Gilgamesh the King of Heroes as Caster Servant. She was also the best cook of her time and she also learn the cooking style of Shiro Emiya.

My 2nd life, I was reborn as Phenex D. Ariana a Pirate and a member of the Spade Pirate under the Captain of Portgas D. Ace as it's cook and 2nd in command, she later became a Whitebeard Pirate along side her captain Ace who was also her boyfriend at that time. She died on the same day as her husband Portgas D. Ace's excution for being the son of Gol D. Roger. She died protecting her daughter Portgas D. Anne from a Marine Admirals. Before she took her last breath she in trust the safety of her daughter to her friend Marco the 1st commander of the Whitebeard. She lived her life to the Fullest, as Phenex D. Ariana later on as Portgas D. Ariana.

My 3rd life, I was reborn as Rin the small ward of the Great Demon Lord of the West Sesshomaru who raised Rin like his own pup. He taught her how to be a Great General and how to handel many different weapon like it was an extension of her hand that it became secound nature to Rin. She was courted by Kohaku the last male Demon Slayer, Sesshomaru allow him to court his adopted daughter Rin, they evenutally gotten married and left 1 son Arashi and 1 Dsughter Minako, by the time Rin died her two children was already 14 years old, and she died taking down a powerful Dragon Demon with her.

My 4th life, I was reborn as Uzumaki Hisana the younger twin sister of Uzumaki Kushina she and her sister are the Princess of the Uzumaki clan and when Hisana was 10 years old she was captured by a Kumo Shinobi and was saved by her male classmate Namikaze Minato. During the 3rd Shinobi war, she was known as Hisana the Red Angel of Death. She evenutally married Namikaze Minato after the war ended, they been married for 5 years when she gaved birth to their son Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, but during his birth a man claiming to be Madara Uchiha attack the Village with the help of the ninetail which is under the man's control. Minato planned to Sacrifice his life to seal the ninetail inside their son, but before Minato could seal the ninetail inside their son, Hisana knock out her husbsnd and did the seal sacrificing her own life so that her husband and son along with their village could survived.

My 5th life, I was reborn as Marinette Dupain-cheng the Hero of Paris Known as Ladybug. But she had enough of Lila Rossi's lies and with Hawkmoth gone their's nothing keeping her at staying in Paris not even her mother so she decided to go lived with her father again, Bruce Wayne along with her brothers. Her family was not happy to happen to her in Paris and Bruce was not impress with Sabine Cheng for beliving a liar than their own blood daughter who is a trrrible liar as a child and Adult. She evenutally end up getting married to Jon-Kent,

the son of Clark Kent and Lois Lane. Lila's lies are expose years later by then all their future are already ruwin all because of Lila's lies, they tried to apologize but they don't even known where Marinette is except for her mother Sabine who told them she lived with her father and brothers before she got married. They were all shock to learn Marinette is the only blood daughter of Bruce Wayne and she end up marring Jon-kent and they have 1 daughter Mara-El. Marinette didn't survived the Darkside envision which devested her husband, Brothers & Father to her death.

My 6th life, I was reborn as Alexsandra Starling the daughter of Hecate goddess of Magic I was one of her most powerful demigod child. I was known as Alexsandra the Slayer of the Kakaren, Minator, and Medusa. I died during the secound Giant War with Gea.

My 7th, current and last life I am reborn as the youngest daughter of Concubine Qin, Xiao Yanli the younger twin sister of Xiao Rou who was mostly ignored for befriending Huang Beiyue the 3rd daughter of their father.

During Rou, Yanli, and Beiyue's presentation when they were 6 years old so they could begin cultivation it was found out that Beiyue was unable to cultivation so everyone saw her as useless, but Xiao Yanli stayed as her friend.

Xiao Rou turn out to be a warrior like the rest of their family, while xiao Yanli the fifth miss has the spirital root of her bloodline having the Element of Fire, Lightning, Earth, Ice, Water, and Wind. That she has the potential of being a Warrior, Pharmacist and Summoner.

Yanli is even more powerful than her older half sister Xiao Yun who older than her by 2 years the 2nd miss of xiao and the favorite grandchild of their grandfather. Even if Yanli is the far superier Summoner between the two, her family still ignore her for being friends with Beiyue. Princess Royal Huiwen who is gratitude of Yanli for being her daughter's friend even when it was discover she was unable to cultivate so Princess Royal mostly raised Yanli like her own dayghter and pay for her own cultivation. And help her earn her own monry along with traing her as a powerful Summoner since Senoir Master Xiao is busy train Xiao Yun to help  Yanli.

With Princess Royal's help, Xiao Yanli is the most beautiful daughter of Xiao, which is making Concubine Xue and her brat of a daughter Yun seething with rage that Princess Royal would help the youngest daughter of Concubine Qin for being gratitude for Yanli being friends with Princess Royal's useless brat.

She was given by Princess Royal Huiwen a Sliver Snake pill grade 4 that brings out the best beauty a woman can have and must be taken at a young age she must take one until she turn 16 years old, by then she'll have grown to a beauty that her blood could afford her. Eye mind Pill where things she hear and read she'll remember forever for her study. Beauty Pill that should be taken when she turn 12 years old that would grant her ideal shape and fuller breast that by the time she should be 16 years old she would have attractive body shape. She also was given a bone washing pill to take on the stop since she has fragile body and she also given high grade Space ring for her use to keep pills in.

By the time Beiyue and Yanli were both eight years old, Princess Royal unexpectedly died suddenly without any explantion and her father Xiao Yuancheng has incur the wrath of the Emperor for the Hastel burrying Princess Royal Huiwen. It wasn't long before all the maids of Princess Royal left after her death except for Dingling Beiyue's personsl maid. And it wasn't long before father's concubines convince father to move Beiyue in Cloude providence  a run down shack. Mother and father dosen't allow me near Beiyue anymore, but I still help Beiyue when I can when I sent my personal maid Ying to gove food for Beiyue and Dongling without being seen by anyone.

By the time Yanli was 10 years old she has unknowingly gain the favor of her maternal grandfather counselor Chief Qi that he has been giving her allowance and Culravtion need she need and it didn't help that she is nothing like her mother Concubine Qin. And that she get along with Meng Hongling who's 1 year older than herself. The Qi household were also th e first one to ever taste her cooking for not even her mother and sibling has ever tasted her divine cooking.

By the time Yanli is 12 years old she was already a 5 star Summoner without a spirit beast of her own, she has been search for a spirit beast she like to have for a while before  challenging any spirit beast. She has been taking small quest for extra money to start building her own dowry since I doubt the Xiao can give a big dowry with her father Xiao Yuancheng's original earning was only 40 gold before he married Princess Royal which became 100 gold. Her grandfather Counselor Chief Qi agree that she should have a head start since Xiao Yuancheng's wouldn't have possibly able meet high dowry to marry up instead of down.

Xiao Yanli is strong enough to challenging a spirit Beast and I finally manged to tame a Spirit Beast of my own I have the Ice Dragon

Hyorimaru the spirit Beast that rival the strength and power of the Wuling Ice Bird Bingluan. Hyorimaru is a very prideful Ice Dragon, he would have never listen to me who had not defeat him in battle or someone weaker than himself that required someone's help to tame him, so when I made a contract with Hyorinmaru my cultivation shoot up that I'm now a 9 star Summoner like Crown Prince Huang Zhanye, while my half sister the secound daughter, Xiao Yun is still merely a 2 star summoner without any spirit beast of her own.

Yanli taught her older cousin Meng Hongling to be a better cook than their own maid that their grandfather request Yanli to teach their maids how to cook properly which Yanli agree to her grandfather's request. And who ever endup marring Yanli and Hongling they would be one lucky guy.

Yanli is taking class of Mount Archery, Painting, Military Strategy, Medicine, Summoner, and Pharmacist class which are quite eassy for Yanli since she already know most of her classshe sign up for in one of her previous life as Marigold Potter and Uzumaki Hisana.

Xiao Yanli recently became Enganged to the Crown Prince Zhanye with the approval of both her grandfather Senior Master Xiao and Counselor Chief Qi agree to the Engagment, even the Emperor aproved of Yanli to be Zhanye's future Empress.

1 year later...

Meng Hongling is now  officially engaged to the third Prince that she's now known as Princess Hongling like Yanli who officially got engaged last year to the crown Prince Zhanye.

And to celebrate the recent engagement of Hongling to the third Prince their having a party. Originally they were planning on inviting all the Xiao Children, until Yanli convince them otherwise that her older twin sister Xiao Rou chasing Boys and the 2 sister Xiao Yun would use anything to make Rou lose face by reminding everyone mother's past and indoing so Hongling and myself aswell, so they invited all the Xiao children with the exception of Xiao Yun.

Counselor Chief Qi can see what his secound favorite grand daughter mean about Xiao Rou being a boy crazy that she would approach a boy who is not even single like the third Prince. She is alot like his disgraceful daughter Qin and not on a good way.

Xiao Rou is jealous that jealous that her younger twin sister Yanli has gotten herself Enganged to the Crown Prince Zhanye with grandfather's approve and it dosen't make it any better that her older  cousin Hongling is now also Enganged to the third Prince as well, while she herself is still very much single. And 2nd sister Xiao Yun already gotten a Fiancee to Xue Che the former fiancee of Huang Beiyue herself, who's a 4 star Summoner.

5 months later...

It was found out that Concubine Xue is an accomplice on killing Princess Royal in order to steal her money for her own daughter Xiao Yun's cultivation in order to Level up as a Summoner, but Xiao Yuancheng gaved her the providence of miyang while he gaved the providence of Qinghe to Concubine Qin in order to make her two older childer Xiao Zhongqi and Rou's cultivation and cosmetic pill. The only one who escape punishment of stealing from the Royal family are Xiao Yanli, Concubine Fang, her daughter Xiao Ling, Xiao Zhonglei

And the moment Xiao Yanli the fifth daughter of Xiao found out what her parents did, she had want nothing to do with them that she disown herself from the Xiao. Counselor Chief Qi took his youngest granddaughter Yanli to his household that she is now known as Qi Yanli instead of Xiao Yanli.

Concubine Qin's crime on stealing from the Royal family and two of her children known the only who didn't was Yanli before she disown gerself from house Xiao. And Concubine Xue's crime on stealing the from the Royal family and accomplice with the murder of Princess Royal, both Concubines were banish from Nanyi Country and strip of their title as a noble.

The reminding Xiao Children who lost their mother was adopted by Concubine Fang and Senior Master Xiao came out of Retairment and became the Xiao Head once more in order to save his reminding family because of his son's stupidty along with his two arrogant Concubine they lost their noble statue.

Xiao Yun lost her spirit beast the Ice cat which the Emperor had it release back to the wild along with her cultivation pill the same could be said with both Rou and Zhongqi and put a stain in their name that Senior Master Xiao made Xiao Zhonglei the new Xiao Childe instead of Zhongqi who lost face because his crime on helping his mother steal from the Royal family.

3 years later...

Princess Huang Beiyue was 16 years old when she disappear from Nanyi Country without telling anyone where she's going not even her only maid and friend Dongling knows where she disappear to. The Emperor order everyone to Search for her for 2 years but no has been able to find Princess Beiyue.

(Princess Yanli is wearing this) (Wearing the necklace she made a while back)

Princess Qi Yanli took Dongling as her third maid after Princess Beiyue left Nanyi out telling anyone of her where about not even her most trusted maid who was privilege to cultivate unlike any other servants and she was also citizen in Nanyi so unlike other Slave servant she get pay for working and now that she work with Princess Yanli as well she was aloud to continue to cultivate like her two other maids Huian, and Changying. And it didn't help snything that Dongling is Princess Yanli's friend since Childhood with Briyue.

By then Prince Feng Lianyi has return to his home Country Beiyao for 3 years now when Beiyue disappear. After his term in Nanyi came to an end. Princess Yingye was Heartbroken to see Prince Yi leave and return to his home country, where he will have to fight for his life just to obtain his rightful place for the throne.

5 years later...

Qi Yanli is now 18 yesrs old and has gotten alot more beautiful with having Jade Skin and she's now a Divine Summoner Rank 3 along with her Hyorinmaru who's a Divine spirit Beast Rank 3.

Meng Hongling is now 19 years old and a Gold class Enchamtress and warrior. The war recently ended in Beiyao with Princess Yingye confessing her feelings for Princess Feng Lianyi who recently became the new King of Beiyao, he realized along time ago that Beiyue would never return his feelings for her when he confess before leaving Nanyi and she turn him down so he had time get over his feelings for Beiyue that he evenutally accpet Yingye's confession. They evenutally married since Princess Yingye was 20 years old by then and Lianyi was 24 years old.

Dongling who recently turn 20 years old got married to a Dukedom and an old friend of that Luoluo the new Duke of Bujiel that Princess Yanli release Dongling to bet married but she is still very loyal to Yanli for taking her in when Princess Beiyue left her.

3 years later...

Qi Yanli and Huang Zhanye finally got married when Yanli turn 20 years old by then Hongling is already married to the third Prince Last year when she turn 20 years. And by then Zhanye already ascended to the throne so when ge married Yanli he made her his Empress.

It was well known in the Palace that Emperor Zhanye only took his two Concubine Nuan and Concubine Ju.

Because of duty as he required to have atless have two Concubine, while his heart only truely belong to one woman and that is Empress Yanli who is a powerful Divine Summoner of the Ice Dragon Hyorinmaru. She is the strongest Famale Summoner and warrior of her generation. That non of the two Royal Concubine Nuan and Ju could ever think they would ever rival the Empress especially with the backing of her family.

It wasn't long before Empress Yanli gaved birth to a son Huang Jin the first born son of the Emperor and the legal born child of the Emperor. Empress kept his son's away from the Royal Concubine in fear that they would poison him just so that their own son became a legal born with Jin out of the way.

Unknown to the Royal Concubine that the Empress Yanli Hidden the facts from two Royal Concubine that she has became pregnant once again with the help of the Emperor and her two loyal maid. Yanli gaved birth to twins this time the oldest is a boy they name Huang Ryoga and the daughter was given the name Huang Jia. The empress kept her three children away from the Royal Concubine and train each of them to be a power Summoner and Warrior. Since Prince Huang Jin has a Dual Element of Fire and Lightning, Prince Huang Ryoga has a dual Element as well having a Fire and Water, while their only sister Princess Huang Jia has Fire and Earth Element.

By the time Prince Huang Jin the first Prince of Nanyi was 14 years old he was already a nine star summoner of the Fire Dragon. The two Royal Concubine find out that the Empress had two more children after her son Prince Jin was born their's the 4th Prince Huang Ryoga and his twin sister Princess Royal Huang Jia who are 12 years old who are both older than Prince Huang Ren son of Concubine Ju he was belived to be the 4th Prince until Prince Ryoga came out of hidding.

And the year after that Empress also reveal her secound daughter Princess Huang Lian who's older the 6th Prince Huang Leo son of Concubine Nuan.

Xiao Ling who evenutally end up marring a strick Duke Fu Xavier who she has two children with and they are Fu Chang the family childe and then their only daughter Fu Meilin the first daughter of Xavier, both are born legal children since Ling is the legal wife.

Xiao Rou and Zhongqi evenutally got married, but they are unable to marry up unlike their former sister Yanli and Ling for they lost alot of face when their mother's crime came out. And even Zhonglei married a woman from Dukedom like Ling and they have one daughter xiao Hualing.

7 years later..

The four children of the Empress grown into powerful Summoners like their parents the First Prince Jin who's now 21 years old got married to a woman by the name of Ye Lingyue

like their father the former Emperor Zhanye took only two concubine their's concubine Yue and Concubine Jade.

Empress Lingyue is a powerful summoner that would one rival Empress dowager in Streagth of Emperor Jin's own mother Qi Yanli. He already have a daughter with his Empress by the name Huang Mingyue and then their's her twin brother Huang Hong.

Xiao Yun tried to make a life outside Nanyi since she has no future as a Summoner to her home country that she run to Beiyao country and became a Servant in order to gain the favor of her master like her mother Concubine Xue who died 2 years after her Banishment. She tried to make a living in beiyao being only a 2 star summoner she didn't survive at Beiyao very long.

While no one had seen Huang Beiyue in a long time she living in Beiyao with her husband Monlian.

#Marigold potter (Fem!harry Potter) #portgas d. ace #marco the phoenix #marinette dupain cheng #Portgas D. Ace x Phenex D. Ariana #Kohaku x Rin (inuyasha) #Marinette Dupain-cheng x Jon-Kent #Namikaze Minato x Uzumaki Hisana #Xiao Yanli/Huang Zhanye #Feng Lianyi/Huang Yingye #Huang Beiyue/Monlian

[raven-frost-21]

Can you marry me? Chapter 5 pt 2

She smiled at him as she leaned against the door. “Yeah, I am actually 22. They’re 19. I adopted them a year ago when their parents wouldn’t support them as trans for J and for the use of different pronouns. I got to go, my shift starts in five minutes.”

She waved and shut the door. He quickly checked the number to the list and held in sigh. 15 more to go.

He was done! He smiled and jogged up the stairs to the apartment and burst in. Marinette sat at the counter (the front door is in the kitchen) with a frown as she looked over the records.

“What’s up Nettie?”

She didn’t glance up as she answered. “The tenants of apartment 45. They haven’t paid the rent at all in the two years that they have lived here. And they told me to be careful of you, that you’re a cheater. And the funny thing is, that doesn’t sound like you at all, so the Harpers might just be evicted.”

He paled. ‘It couldn’t be?’ “Roy and Kori Harper?” She nodded.

He groaned and sat down, head hitting the counter with a thunk.

“Former teammates from the Titans. And Kory’s my ex.”

Marinette started to laugh and he looked at her incredulously.

“Get this, They just called the cops on me for extortion and slander!”

She held her phone up and he snorted when he saw the text from one of the tenants on the first floor.

Right as they calmed a sharp knock came to the door. Marinette opened it and two detectives stood there.

“Hello, I’m Detective Sarah Richards. Are you Richard and Marinette Grayson?”

They nodded and she smiled, brown eyes twinkling behind her glasses like Marinette's reading ones.

“Okay so one Kori Anders Harper called saying that you are extorting them claiming to be the owner of the building and that Marinette here is lying by claiming to be married to Richard Grayson former ward of Bruce Wayne.”

The two rolled their eyes in annoyance. “But of course, as they are trying to evade paying what they owe they have been arrested. Both are required to find a new place of residence and all but their personal belongings have been seized to pay you two back.”

Marinette blinked. “How did you do that so fast?”

The woman finally looked up and smiled. “Hi, I’m Sarah, I live on the 4th floor! I just met your lovely husband five minutes before work.”

They burst into laughter and all three ended up on the floor holding their sides while her partner looked down at them with the tired dad look on his face.

“Richards! We have to go!”

Sarah stood up and mock-saluted her partner. “Let’s go then Rogers!”

The two left and the last thing they heard was, “Sarah! For the last time just because my name is Steve and I’m blonde it doesn’t make me Steve Rogers.”

The two snickered at that before Dick got a guilty look on his face. “Crap. Kori and Roy are homeless now, and it’s my fault.”

She snorted and whacked his shoulder. “It’s their fault for acting like they own the building, plus Roy knows Oliver Queen. He’ll be fine.”

`

Jason hung up with a sigh. He slowly marched from his apartment to his brothers and knocked. The door cracked open immediately and Marinette’s tired eyes peered out. “Hey, can I come in? I know it’s late.” She nodded and the door swung open. Smiling he walked through the kitchen and sat on the couch. Looking around he noticed his brother’s absence. “Where’s Dick?” She smiled softly. “He’s resting. He had a major panic attack a few hours ago and is asleep, he hasn’t slept well in weeks.” He smiled sadly and glanced at the dark bags under her own eyes. “It seems you haven’t either.” She smiled sadly. “The alerts went off. My parents are searching Europe for me.” She set her mug down with a clink and turned to him. “What’s the favor?” (she’s on her chaise, it’s opposite the couch.) “My friends got kicked out of their apartment. Someone scammed the police into thinking they were the owners and the two hadn’t paid the rent.” Her brows furrowed. “Roy and Kori Harper?” He nodded, shocked. “Roy and Kori Harper lived in apartment 45. They hadn’t paid their rent in 2 years, when I went to collect they slammed the door in my face after telling me that they were friends with the owner so it was free and some unsavory lies about Dick.” He blinked shocked. “Oh, so how much did they owe?” “$6,000. I charge $250 a month. Well except for you guys.” He scoffed, “Yeah $150 is cheap.” She smiled and took a sip from her mug. “So, you want to ask if they could stay here as my apartment is the only one with room for two extra people?” He nodded. “Yeah, the answer is no. I don’t appreciate being called a kid, or them lying about my husband. If it was just the kid thing, sure. But I despise liars. How easily they can destroy a life and rip everyone you loved away from you.” Her eyes were distant as she spoke and he had a sinking feeling in his chest. “Princess, why did you run away again?” He didn’t know exactly what he thought she was going to do, but throwing a mug of steaming hot chocolate in his face wasn’t it. (The drink not mug.) He yelled and pressed a hand to his eyes and she squeaked. He heard her moving around and ice was suddenly being pressed against his face. “Sorry! I tripped! I didn’t mean to!” After a few minutes he was able to open his eyes and the pain had diminished. “It’s okay Princess.” She tensed slightly but did nothing so he shrugged it off. “I got to go, patrol.” She nodded and shooed him from the apartment. `` She shut the door behind Jason with a gasp. ‘Princess!’ ‘You BELONG TO ME!’ ‘Lila isn’t hurting anyone!’ ‘We’re getting married, princess!’ She shuddered and forced the memories back, Dick needed her. Something with today had set him off. As she got closer to their room she could hear him thrashing and sobbing. “NO! I DIDN’T MEAN TO! DON’T HATE ME!’ She rushed in and knelt by the bed. Softly she began to sing, “Ay, gene roma,” (They were Gypsies) “roma te rodes,” (As I gypsy I am looking for,) “ay, baxt bari, baxt byari,” (Big Happiness, Big Happiness) “Kay tut te rodes?” (Where are you and I looking for?) “Baxt te amori?” (Is there our happiness?) “Cykav o drom baro,” (Show me the big road) “Drom amenge.” (Our way.) (loose translation, I think it’s romani, it’s what it said it was but it could be romanian) As she neared the end he quieted and stilled. As she finished his arms shot out and wrapped around her, pulling her into bed with him and trapping her partially under him. She wriggled and managed to take her reading glasses off, grateful that she was already dressed for bed when his grip tightened when she shifted away. Smiling she curled up against his chest and breathed deeply enjoying his scent. She fell asleep with a small smile on her face.

#maribat #college au #dickinette #fake marriage #mlb x dc

[averykedavra]

Come and Save My Day

Happy birthday, Roman Sanders, my wonderful dramatic boy! Did you think I wouldn’t write him the fluff and love he deserves? Here we go, happy time for Creativity! Just let me sprinkle in a bit of angst at the beginning...um, some more angst...okay, a lot of angst but I swear it gets fluffy again, I swear--

You can find this fic on Ao3 here.

(Title is from Superstar by MARINA.)

Words: 2955

Pairing: platonic DLAMPR

Warnings: fire mention, eating, food mentions, missed sleep, missed eating, self-deprecation and self-hatred, sympathetic Janus and Remus, killing mentions, tooth-rotting levels of fluff at the end.

Summary: Since the last video, Roman hasn’t left the Imagination. When his brother drags him out, he receives the last thing he expected.

Patton hadn’t been able get Roman out of his room. He’d slid cookies under the door and apologized over and over. Nothing.

Virgil hadn’t been able to get Roman out of his room. He’d teased Roman for sulking and pleaded with him to come out. Nothing.

Logan hadn’t been able to get Roman out of his room. He’d detailed the long-term benefits of social interaction. Nothing.

Janus hadn’t been able to get Roman out of his room, because he hadn’t tried. He had a feeling his presence would only make the situation worse.

Thomas hadn’t been able to get Roman out of his room. Roman didn’t respond to any summons, any calls. He was still doing his job, at least, but creating wasn’t the same without Roman by his side.

What they didn’t realize was that Roman wasn’t in his room. He’d traveled to the Imagination as soon as that disaster of a video was over, and he hadn’t come back since. He’d marched into town, grabbed his sword, and proceeded to slay every dragon in the near vicinity. When he ran out of dragons, he stabbed trolls. When he ran out of trolls, he defeated witches. When he ran out of witches, he attacked manticores and chimeras and hydras and lions. When he ran out of those, he just tore dummies to shreds until the castle floor was littered with straw.

He didn’t know how long it had been. Time worked differently in the Imagination, anyway. He’d eaten, right? Two, maybe three days ago? He definitely hadn’t slept in a while. But it was fine. It was fine! He could snap away the dark circles under his eyes and conjure up a fresh uniform every day. As long as he hid in here, the real world didn’t exist. He could be a hero here.

Not like out there.

He wasn’t anybody’s hero out there.

And no saved imaginary kingdoms could change that.

The townspeople left him alone, except when they begged for his assistance. On a better day he’d seek them out, talk with his favorite creations, attend a performance or join someone for drinks. He was popular here, charming, everyone’s favorite. He created them. There was no way for him to let them down, because they did whatever he wanted. Everyone loved him. Because he made it that way.

These days, even the thought of surrounding himself with fake love and crafted smiles made him shudder. He didn’t want that. Not now. It was just another layer of fantasy, pretending that he was worth something, desperately creating other worlds where things just made more sense.

It was lying, really.

That’s why he’d always been kinder to Deceit--Janus--than the others. He understood the importance of lying, how it was woven into creativity. Sometimes you needed to protect yourself or someone else and lying was the best way to do that.

Of course, Patton didn’t like that. And Roman’s opinion didn’t matter compared to Patton’s. Patton knew better, Roman knew that. So he shoved his dreams into a box, lied to defeat the liar, and blindly followed Patton’s lead.

And Patton...was wrong. And Patton apologized. And all Roman’s sacrifices were for nothing. He tore himself to pieces for his best friend, because he trusted him, and apparently Roman couldn’t trust anyone at all. Not Patton’s love or Thomas’ kindness or Janus’ honesty. Nothing.

Or maybe they just didn’t trust him.

That would make more sense.

Well, if they didn’t want him, Roman wouldn’t force himself into their lives. He’d hang out in the Imagination forever, giving Thomas ideas that were never perfect, slaying fake monsters and eating fake food and wearing a fake costume and being a fake hero and a fake prince. Fake was better than nothing. Drifting around a make-believe land, time dripping through his fingers, was better than the cold slicing pain of reality.

He spent days and days apart, and one day his castle got a visitor.

Not the usual kind of visitor, either. Usually the townspeople knocked on the door. They didn’t appear hanging from the chandelier as Roman had yet another session of what he called ‘lie on the floor of the throne room and contemplate existence.’

“Hey, Ro-Bro, you alive?”

Remus chucked a stick of deodorant at Roman’s face. Roman didn’t bother to move out of the way, and it bounced off his forehead.

Remus winced. “Yikes. You’re not making the best case for being alive.”

Roman groaned and eased himself into a sitting position. “What do you want, Remus?”

“Me? Oh, nothing.” Remus grabbed one side of the chandelier and swung from it like Tarzan. “I’ve always wanted to do this ever since I heard that song.”

Roman watched him swing back and forth. The entire chandelier creaked and plummeted to the ground, sending glass everywhere. Remus jumped up from the center, unharmed, with a huge grin on his face,

“Nice!” he said. “Shame you didn’t make that thing person-ready.”

“Can’t say it crossed my mind,” Roman admitted, snapping his fingers and vanishing the glass.

“That’s why I’m the better twin.”

“Yeah.”

Remus frowned at him, looking disconcerted. The expression was gone in a second, though. “Anyway, I’m here to deliver a message, kind of.”

“Kind of?” Roman asked. “Wait, what’s the message?”

“It’s less of a message and more of a package.” Remus giggled. “Heh, package.”

“What are you talking about?” Roman stood up, ignoring the way his limbs ached. “This had better not be another batch of feral cats, Remus.”

“Oh, good idea!” Remus shook his head. “But nah. That’s not the message.”

“Then what is it?”

Remus smiled and grabbed Roman’s arm. “You.”

“What?”

Remus grabbed his sword and slashed through the air. The scene around them peeled away. Colors swirled through the gaps, melting and twisting like little snakes. Remus pulled Roman forward, his face sketchy, their hands about to unravel. A symphony of scarlet and a burst of green, surrounded by watercolors ponderously unraveling.

Then the colors sunk into place, and Roman was yanked into the Commons by his arm.

“Ow,” Roman yelled, snatching his arm away from Remus. “That hurt! Remus, what the f--”

“Message delivered!” Remus proclaimed, ignoring Roman’s annoyance. “You’re welcome, and I expect the deodorant delivery by tomorrow at the latest!”

Roman glanced up, and froze.

He was standing in the Commons’ kitchen...and so were Patton, Logan, Virgil, and Janus. The lights were turned off, and their faces cast in shadow.

“Hey...” Roman said, already wincing and bracing for the storm. “...guys. I know what you’re gonna say, but I swear--”

“What are we going to say?” Patton asked.

“Um...” Roman shifted, staring at his hands. "Well, that, you know, I was mean? ‘Cause I was. I know that. And I promise I’m okay, we can just--I don’t know, move past it? I’ll stay in my room and you’ll handle everything and I won’t get in the way or anything--”

“Wrong.” Virgil’s voice was firm. “Like, really, really wrong.”

Logan reached over and turned on the lights.

The first thing Roman saw was the party hats. The second was the large cake on the kitchen table, unlit candles making a smily face. The third thing he noticed was the banner hung crookedly across the kitchen cabinets, reading Happy Birthday Roman.

Happy Birthday.

...Roman?

Roman clapped a hand to his mouth and stared, telling himself this was just a dream, a trick, another layer of the fantasies he’d surrounded himself with.

But he couldn’t make this up. Not the details. Not the slightly lopsided icing on the cake, the way Logan’s and Janus' party hats were crumpled like they’d been forced into them, the slapdash lettering on the sign.

“Happy birthday, Princey.” Virgil was smiling.

“It’s--” Roman’s voice cracked. “Wait, it’s my birthday?”

“It is June 4th, which is the birthday the fans, and us, decided on.” Logan gestured to the sign. “So...we decided to throw you a party.”

“Some of us were forced into it,” Janus added, but he didn’t look that irritated.

“So?” Patton bounced on the balls of his feet. “Do you like it?”

“Like it?” Roman repeated. “Pat, it’s--I, I thought I messed everything up, I thought--”

“And that we’d hate you for your mistake?” Janus rolled his eyes. “Yes, because the rest of us have always been perfect and kind.”

“Kiddo.” Patton’s smile was soft. “Kiddo, it’s okay. You’re sorry, we’re sorry. You’re okay now.”

Roman tried to smile back, but his voice caught in his throat. He wiped at his eyes and swallowed hard.

“Th-thank you.” Roman’s voice shook, but he didn’t mind. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”

“Come on!” Virgil motioned to the cake. “Let’s eat. Logan, you light the candles while I hide on the counter so they don’t burn me.”

Logan huffed. “Now that we’ve done the surprise, can I please take off this ridiculous party hat?”

Patton smiled. “Nope!”

“Worth a shot.”

“Hey, bro?”

Roman whirled. He’d forgotten Remus was still there. Remus had a strange expression on his face and lurked uncomfortably in the corner.

“Happy birthday,” Remus said slowly. “Have fun.”

As he began to sink out, Roman made a decision.

“Stick around!” he said, grabbing Remus’ arm and pulling him towards the kitchen. “There’s more than enough cake!”

Remus made a surprised squeak. But after a second, his face split into a huge grin. And Roman grinned back.

Logan lit the candles and Roman sat in the chair, watching them flicker. Virgil, true to form, had indeed climbed on the counter and watched the fire warily. Roman quickly blew the candles out, not even bothering to make a wish. Virgil’s shoulders slumped with relief and he slid off the counter.

Logan cut the cake into six equal pieces and dumped each one on a plastic plate. Janus sliced his cake slice into small wafers and ate them delicately. Logan did the same. Patton and Virgil ate their cake in chunks, and Remus just stuffed the whole thing in his face.

Roman almost fainted when the cake hit his tongue. It was chocolately and wonderful. He hadn’t eaten anything this good in ages--well, he hadn’t actually eaten anything in ages. Why’d he been holed up in the Imagination when he could have had this?

“Oh no!” Patton dropped his fork. “We forgot the Happy Birthday song!”

Virgil swore under his breath. “I was hoping you’d forget about that.”

“Come on!” Patton pouted. “The Happy Birthday song is important, Virgil!”

“Much as I hate to admit it, it is a classic part of a birthday celebration.” Logan sighed. “Shall we get it over with?”

So they sang the song. And yes, Virgil’s voice was barely a whisper. And yes, Logan recited the lyrics instead of singing them. And yes, Patton giggled his way through half of it. And yes, Janus changed the lyrics to ‘Awful Birthday’ and Remus sang the ‘You Look Like a Monkey’ version instead. But they were singing. For him. They were doing something they wouldn’t have chosen...for Roman.

Roman smiled into his cake and tried very hard not to cry.

But he might have cried a little bit when Patton hugged him tight around the waist. And he might have buried his face in Patton’s shoulder and hugged back just as tight.

After the cake was polished off, leaving a messy kitchen and several wads of cake stuck to the ceiling, they moved to the couch. Virgil handed him a pair of red-and-gold headphones.

“I dunno, I thought you would like some. You can listen to Disney or whatever.” He tugged at his sleeves. “It’s stupid.”

Roman gave Virgil a quick hug. “They’re perfect!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!”

 Next, Patton handed him a huge pile of frosted cookies. “I...well, I didn’t really know what to get you, and I’ve been stressbaking a lot recently, so here!”

Roman picked up one of the cookies. It had white frosting with a red slash of icing and golden crown sprinkles. “Padre, these look absolutely scrumptious!”

“Glad you like them!” Patton gave him another hug. “Happy birthday, kiddo!”

Roman smiled and put the headphones and the cookies on the coffee table. His friends were so nice! “So, do you guys want to watch movies, or--”

“Actually.” Roman looked at Logan, who was tapping his fingers on the couch. “I, well, I got you a gift as well.”

“Wait, seriously?” Roman laughed. “Specs, you didn’t have to--”

“I wanted to.” Logan held out a small binder. “You wrote me that screenplay for Christmas, remember? So I...I wrote a story for you in return. A fairy tale rewrite. Filled with gay Disney princes. The writing quality is probably not up to your usual standard, but--”

“Logan,” Roman breathed, his eyes shining. “You made that? For me?”

“Well, yes.” Logan shifted. “I...I do value you, highly, as a coworker and a--friend. I apologize for not always making that clear.”

Roman lunged forward and hugged Logan hard. Logan froze, but after a second relaxed into the touch, awkwardly patting Roman on the back.

Roman hummed into Logan’s shoulder. “Love you, nerd.”

“I--I love you too.” Logan chuckled softly. “Prep.”

Patton pressed his hands to his mouth and squealed loudly.

“Alright.” Roman extricated himself. “Now we watch movies.”

“No, not yet.” Patton turned to stare at Janus. “We have something else to do, don’t we, Janus?”

Janus hissed under his breath.

“Look,” Roman said, “you don’t have to say anything, I get it, I was mean and I’m sorry--”

“I’m sorry too,” Janus said, staring at the floor.

Roman paused, his mouth gaping.

“I lashed out and hurt you, and I’ve manipulated you in the past so you had every right to feel the way you did.” Janus reached into his cloak and pulled out a small glass jar. “So...Patton and the others helped me make this.”

Roman took it. Inside were bits of colored paper, filling it to the brim. “Um...cool! What is it?”

“Take a heart,” Patton said, nodding at the lid.

Roman opened the lid and pulled out a piece of paper. It was cut into the shape of a heart and it was a light blue. On it said ‘You always make me smile!’

“Uh--” Roman definitely looked stupid, his mouth still open. He picked up another heart, this one dark blue. ‘Your ideas are the backbone of Thomas’ career.’

Yellow heart. ‘You’re a stellar actor.’

Purple heart. ‘You always try to fix your mistakes.’

Green heart? ‘You’re fun to stab.’ 

“They’re compliments,” Logan explained, his voice soft. “We don’t usually do a very good job of communicating our appreciation of you, and you struggle with believing what we say, so we made you that.”

Roman stared at the jar, heavy in his hands, filled with hearts. It must have taken them days to fill it. And...they’d done that without prompting. Because they wanted to help him.

“Guys, I--” Roman laughed deliriously. “I don’t know what to say--”

“You don’t have to say anything.” Virgil shrugged. “I get it. Words are hard.”

Roman laughed again. “Guys...thank you. I love you so much.”

“We love you too,” Patton said, his eyes soft.

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed. Logan nodded, Janus rolled his eyes with a smirk, and Remus grinned.

“I--” Roman shook his head in wonder, placing the jar carefully on the coffee table. “Disney sleepover? Sleeping Beauty for me, Big Hero Six for Logan, Winnie the Pooh for Patton, Black Cauldron for Virgil, Aladdin for Janus?”

“Aladdin?” Janus asked.

“Lying and deceiving their way to the top. Seemed appropriate.”

“Touche.”

“And...” Roman glanced at Remus, who had been uncharacteristically quiet. “Bro? What movie do you want?”

“I’ll watch anything,” Remus said, waving a hand.

“Seriously.” Roman gestured at the TV. “Whatever movie you want, we can watch it. As long as it’s Disney.”

“I--” Remus chewed on his lip. “Sorry for...not getting you anything.”

“What are you talking about?” Roman laughed. “You’re the one who dragged me out here! If it weren’t for you, I’d still be sulking in my room! That’s a pretty great gift, Remus.”

Remus scrunched up his face. “Ugh. You’re a sap.”

“You love it.” Roman snapped several pillows and blankets over the other Sides. Patton clapped his hands and they were in onesies. Even Logan, though he shifted his gaze to the floor. Janus, dressed in a snake onesie, glared at each of them, daring them to comment.

“You look adorable!” Patton said brightly.

“Whatever,” Janus muttered, his face flushing.

“So.” Roman smiled at his brother. “What’ll it be?”

Remus brushed off his octopus onesie. “I...I like Black Cauldron too.”

“Then we’ll put it on first!” Roman glanced around. “Popcorn?”

Logan snapped his fingers. “Got it.”

“Great.” Roman let his gaze linger on his friends--his family--curled up together in the blankets. “Let’s go.”

And as the Disney logo played on the screen, as Remus chucked popcorn at Virgil, as Logan already geared up to list every factual inaccuracy in the film, as Patton snuggled with a stuffed frog, as Janus leaned into Remus’ arm and Remus let him, Roman curled up on the couch and closed his eyes. He hadn’t slept for a while, after all. And he knew these movies by heart.

Sure, reality was harsh and cruel and cold sometimes. But this was so much better than anything he could possibly imagine.

And the next day he joined Thomas again, thinking through script ideas and even singing, just a bit.

“It hasn’t been the same without you,” Thomas said. “I’ve missed this.”

“Yeah,” Roman said, smiling. “So have I.”

General taglist:

@most-likely-fandom

@the17thmeatball

@caffeinated-cryptid

@csi-baker-street-babes

@thefivecalls

#averywrites #tw fire #roman sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #roman sanders angst #platonic dlampr #roman sanders birthday #ts roman birthday #writing #fanfiction #angst #fluff #angst and fluff #angst with a happy ending #virgil sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #thomas sanders #sympathetic remus sanders #sympathetic janus sanders

[dfroza]

“Then you are ready to put on your new self, modeled after the very likeness of God: truthful, righteous, and holy.

So put away your lies and speak the truth to one another because we are all part of one another.”

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 4th chapter of the letter of Ephesians:

As a prisoner of the Lord, I urge you: Live a life that is worthy of the calling He has graciously extended to you. Be humble. Be gentle. Be patient. Tolerate one another in an atmosphere thick with love. Make every effort to preserve the unity the Spirit has already created, with peace binding you together.

There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were all called to pursue one hope. There is one Lord Jesus, one living faith, one ceremonial washing through baptism, and one God—the Father over all who is above all, through all, and in all. This God has given to each of us grace in full measure according to the Anointed’s gift as the Scripture says,

When He ascended to the heights,

He put captivity in chains;

And in His triumph, He gave gifts to the people.

(Well, when it says “He ascended,” then that must mean that He had descended earlier to the lower levels, that is, to the earth. The One who descended is the same One who rose from the dead to ascend far above all the heavens so that He could fill all things.)

It was the risen One who handed down to us such gifted leaders—some emissaries, some prophets, some evangelists, as well as some pastor-teachers— so that God’s people would be thoroughly equipped to minister and build up the body of the Anointed One. These ministries will continue until we are unified in faith and filled with the knowledge of the Son of God, until we stand mature in His teachings and fully formed in the likeness of the Anointed, our Liberating King. Then we will no longer be like children, tossed around here and there upon ocean waves, picked up by every gust of religious teaching spoken by liars or swindlers or deceivers. Instead, by truth spoken in love, we are to grow in every way into Him—the Anointed One, the head. He joins and holds together the whole body with its ligaments providing the support needed so each part works to its proper design to form a healthy, growing, and mature body that builds itself up in love.

Therefore, as a witness of the Lord, I insist on this: that you no longer walk in the outsiders’ ways—with minds devoted to worthless pursuits. They are blind to true understanding. They are strangers and aliens to the kind of life God has for them because they live in ignorance and immorality and because their hearts are cold, hard stones. And now, since they’ve lost all natural feelings, they have given themselves over to sensual, greedy, and reckless living. They stop at nothing to satisfy their impure appetites.

But this is not the path of the Anointed One, which you have learned. If you have heard Jesus and have been taught by Him according to the truth that is in Him, then you know to take off your former way of life, your crumpled old self—that dark blot of a soul corrupted by deceitful desire and lust— to take a fresh breath and to let God renew your attitude and spirit. Then you are ready to put on your new self, modeled after the very likeness of God: truthful, righteous, and holy.

So put away your lies and speak the truth to one another because we are all part of one another. When you are angry, don’t let it carry you into sin. Don’t let the sun set with anger in your heart or give the devil room to work. If you have been stealing, stop. Thieves must go to work like everyone else and work honestly with their hands so that they can share with anyone who has a need. Don’t let even one rotten word seep out of your mouths. Instead, offer only fresh words that build others up when they need it most. That way your good words will communicate grace to those who hear them. It’s time to stop bringing grief to God’s Holy Spirit; you have been sealed with the Spirit, marked as His own for the day of rescue. Banish bitterness, rage and anger, shouting and slander, and any and all malicious thoughts—these are poison. Instead, be kind and compassionate. Graciously forgive one another just as God has forgiven you through the Anointed, our Liberating King.

The Letter of Ephesians, Chapter 4 (The Voice)

A note from The Voice:

Now that Paul has described the new world as God would have it, he urges believers to live out their callings with humility, patience, and love: to walk as Jesus walked. These are the ways of Jesus. Paul encourages them to do whatever it takes to hold onto the unity that binds people together in peace. He does not ask them to create that unity; this has already been accomplished through the work of the Rescuer and His Spirit. Rather, he calls believers to guard that unity—a more modest but no less significant task—because that unity is founded on God’s oneness and work in the world.

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 6th chapter of the book of 1st Chronicles that begins with this note from The Voice translation:

While the tribe of Judah boasts the kingly lineage, specifically Israel’s beloved kings David and Solomon, the tribe of Levi is the priestly tribe. These men are at the center of the worship of the Lord, performing the daily rituals and sacrifices required in the law.

[1st Chronicles 6]

Levi fathered Gershon, Kohath, and Merari. Kohath’s sons were Amram, Izhar, Hebron, and Uzziel. The children of Amram were Aaron, Moses, and Miriam. Aaron fathered Nadab, Abihu, Eleazar, and Ithamar. Eleazar’s lineage descended 21 generations until the exile: Phinehas, Abishua, Bukki, Uzzi, Zerahiah, Meraioth, Amariah, Ahitub, Zadok, Ahimaaz, Azariah, Johanan, Azariah (he was priest in Solomon’s temple which was constructed in Jerusalem), Amariah, Ahitub, Zadok, Shallum, Hilkiah, Azariah, Seraiah, and Jehozadak (one of those from Jerusalem and Judah whom the Eternal One exiled by Nebuchadnezzar).

These are the Levite clans according to their patronage: Levi fathered Gershom, Kohath, and Merari. Gershom’s sons were Libni and Shimei. Kohath’s sons were Amram, Izhar, Hebron, and Uzziel. Merari’s sons were Mahli and Mushi. These are the Levitical clans. Gershom’s lineage descended seven generations: Libni, Jahath, Zimmah, Joah, Iddo, Zerah, and Jeatherai. Kohath’s lineage descended ten generations: Amminadab, Korah, Assir, Elkanah, Ebiasaph, Assir, Tahath, Uriel, Uzziah, and Shaul. The sons of Elkanah were Amasai and Ahimoth. Elkanah’s lineage descended six generations: Zophai, Nahath, Eliab, Jeroham, Elkanah, and Samuel. Samuel’s sons were Joel (the firstborn) and Abijah (the second). Merari’s lineage descended seven generations: Mahli, Libni, Shimei, Uzzah, Shimea, Haggiah, and Asaiah.

After the chest of the covenant came to rest in the tent of the congregation, King David appointed the following Levites to be the musicians in the temple. They ministered with songs with respect to their responsibilities outlined for them at the congregation tent until our king Solomon built the temple in Jerusalem. These served with their sons: From the Kohathites was Heman the singer (son of Joel, son of Samuel, son of Elkanah, son of Jeroham, son of Eliel, son of Toah, son of Zuph, son of Elkanah, son of Mahath, son of Amasai, son of Elkanah, son of Joel, son of Azariah, son of Zephaniah, son of Tahath, son of Assir, son of Ebiasaph, son of Korah, son of Izhar, son of Kohath, son of Levi, son of Israel).

On Heman’s right stood his cousin Asaph (son of Berechiah, son of Shimea, son of Michael, son of Baaseiah, son of Malchijah, son of Ethni, son of Zerah, son of Adaiah, son of Ethan, son of Zimmah, son of Shimei, son of Jahath, son of Gershom, son of Levi).

On Heman’s left stood their cousin from the Merarites, Ethan (son of Kishi, son of Abdi, son of Malluch, son of Hashabiah, son of Amaziah, son of Hilkiah, son of Amzi, son of Bani, son of Shemer, son of Mahli, son of Mushi, son of Merari, son of Levi).

Their cousins from other Levitical clans served the congregation tent of the house of God. Aaron and his sons performed the holiest work: they gave burnt offerings and incense offerings. These offerings atoned for Israel, according to all God’s servant Moses had commanded. The lineage of Aaron descended 11 generations: Eleazar, Phinehas, Abishua, Bukki, Uzzi, Zerahiah, Meraioth, Amariah, Ahitub, Zadok, and Ahimaaz.

Because the Levites were a priestly tribe without their own land, the other tribes each gave them cities and pastures. These are their territories and the pasturelands in these settlements: To the descendants of Aaron of the Kohathite clan (the highest clan) the tribes of Judah, Simeon, and Benjamin gave 9 cities including Hebron in the territory of Judah and those cities’ surrounding pastures. But the fields of Hebron and its villages still belonged to Caleb (son of Jephunneh). The descendants of Aaron received Hebron, a city of escape, and they also lived in the cities of Libnah, Jattir, Eshtemoa, Hilen, Debir, Ashan, and Beth-shemesh with their surrounding pastures. The tribe of Benjamin gave 4 cities and their pastures including Gibeon, Geba, Allemeth, and Anathoth. The descendants of Aaron held 13 cities; the half-tribe of Manasseh gave 10 cities to the remaining Kohathite clan.

The tribes of Issachar, Asher, Naphtali, and Manasseh gave 13 cities in Bashan to the Gershomites.

The tribes of Reuben, Gad, and Zebulun gave 12 cities to the Merarites.

The tribe of Ephraim also gave cities and surrounding pastures to the Kohathites. These cities of refuge included Shechem (in the hill country of Ephraim), Gezer, Jokmeam, Beth-horon, Aijalon, and Gath-rimmon. The half-tribe of Manasseh gave the cities and pastures of Aner and Bileam to the rest of the Kohathites.

The half-tribe of Manasseh gave these cities and surrounding pastures to the Gershomites: Golan in Bashan and Ashtaroth. The tribe of Issachar gave Kedesh, Daberath, Ramoth, and Anem. The tribe of Asher gave these cities and their pastures: Mashal, Abdon, Hukok, and Rehob. The tribe of Naphtali gave the cities and pastures of Kedesh (in Galilee), Hammon, and Kiriathaim.

The tribe of Zebulun gave these cities and pastures to the Merarites: Rimmono, Tabor, and Jericho (beyond the Jordan River on the east side). The tribe of Reuben gave the cities and pastures of Bezer, Jahzah, Kedemoth, and Mephaath. The tribe of Gad gave the cities and pastures of Ramoth (in Gilead), Mahanaim, Heshbon, and Jazer.

The Book of 1st Chronicles, Chapter 6 (The Voice)

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for monday, january 23 of 2023 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons that looks to “divine” deliverance, to freedom and restoration, restitution, and healing:

Shavuah tov, chaverim. Our Torah reading for this week (Exod. 10:1-13:16) begins with God commanding Moses “to go” (i.e., bo: בּא) before the Pharaoh to announce further apocalyptic judgments upon Egypt. The purpose of this power encounter was to vindicate God’s justice and great glory (deliverance/salvation) by overthrowing the tyranny of unjust human oppression. Pharaoh’s nightmare of “one little lamb” outweighing all the firstborn of Egypt was about to be fulfilled....

Recall that last week’s Torah (i.e., parashat Va’era) retold how Pharaoh defiantly refused to listen to Moses’ pleas for Israel’s freedom, despite seven devastating makkot (plagues) that came upon Egypt in God’s Name (יהוה). In this week’s portion (i.e., parashat Bo), the battle between the LORD and Pharaoh comes to a dramatic conclusion. The last three of the ten plagues are unleashed upon Egypt: a swarm of locusts devoured all the crops and greenery; a palpable darkness enveloped the land for three days and nights; and all the firstborn of Egypt were killed precisely at the stroke of midnight of the 15th of the month of Nisan... In this connection note that the word בּא (“go”) and פרעה (“Pharoah”) added together equal the gematria of משׁיח (“mashiach”), providing a hint of the Messianic redemption that was foreshadowed in Egypt. Every jot and tittle, chaverim!

Before the final plague, God instructed the Jewish people to establish a new calendar based on the sighting of the new moon of spring. On the tenth day of that month, God told the people to acquire a “Passover offering” to Him, namely an unblemished lamb (or goat), one for each household. On the 14th of that month (“between the evenings”) the animal would be slaughtered and its blood sprinkled on the doorposts and lintel of every Israelite home, so that God would “pass over” these dwellings when He came to kill the Egyptian firstborn that night. The roasted meat of the offering was to be eaten that night with unleavened bread (matzah) and bitter herbs (maror). God then commanded the Israelites to observe a seven-day “festival of matzah” to commemorate the Exodus for all subsequent generations.

Because of this, our corporate identity begins with a shared consciousness of time from a Divine perspective. The mo’edim (festivals of the LORD) all are reckoned based on the sacred calendar given to the redeemed Israelite nation. As it is also written in the Book of Psalms: “He made the moon for the appointed times” / עָשָׂה יָרֵחַ לְמוֹעֲדִים (Psalm 104:19). Undoubtedly Yeshua followed this calendar, as did His first followers (Gal. 4:4).

Just before the dreadful final plague befell, God instructed the Israelites to ask their Egyptian neighbors for gold, silver and jewelry, thereby plundering Egypt of its wealth (this was regarded as “uncollected wages” for hundreds of years of forced labor and bondage - not to mention for the services of Joseph, whose ingenuity brought the world’s wealth to Egypt in the first place). Moses then instructed the people to prepare the Passover sacrifice, that is, the korban Pesach (קָרְבָּן פֶּסַה) - the Passover lamb - and to smear its blood on the two sides and top of the doorway, resembling the shape of the Hebrew letter Chet (ח). This Hebrew letter, signifying the number eight, is connected with the word חי (chai), short for chayim (חַיִּים), "life." The blood of the lamb (דַּם הַשֶּׂה) not only saves from the judgment of death, but also is a symbol of divine life given for our redemption. The “life is in the blood.”

The dreadful final plague - the death of the firstborn - at last broke Pharaoh’s resistance and he not only allowed the Israelites to depart without any conditions, he urged them to go. Because they left in great haste there was no time for their dough to rise. The Torah states that there were 600,000 adult men who left Egypt, along with the women, children, and a “mixed multitude” of other Egyptian slaves who tagged along.

The Israelites were commanded to consecrate all the firstborn to God and to commemorate the anniversary of the Exodus each year by celebrating the LORD’s Passover in conjunction with the Feast of Unleavened Bread. During this time they were to remove all leaven from their homes for seven days, eat matzah, and retell the story of their redemption to their children. The portion ends with the commandment to wear tefillin (phylacteries) on the arm and head as a reminder of how the LORD saved the Israelites from their bondage in Egypt.

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

========

Exod. 10:1 reading:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/exod10-1-jjp.mp3

Hebrew page pdf:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/exod10-1-lesson.pdf

Parashat Bo start page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Scripture/Parashah/Summaries/Bo/bo.html

Parashat Bo Torah talk page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Scripture/Parashah/Summaries/Bo/ShabbatTableTalkPageBo.pdf

Parashat Bo audio podcast:

https://hebrew4christians.com/training/parashat-bo-podcast/

1.22.23 • Facebook

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

January 23, 2023

Loquacity

“He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.” (Proverbs 17:27)

The sin of loquacity (that is, talkativeness or chattering) is one of those “little foxes” that can “spoil the vines” of an otherwise godly lifestyle (Song of Solomon 2:15), and the Scriptures frequently caution us against it. For example, Solomon in his God-given wisdom warned as follows: “In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19). In fact, Solomon frequently returns to this theme. “Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few” (Ecclesiastes 5:2).

The apostles in the New Testament also stress how important it is for Christians to control their tongues. Too much talk can easily lead to gossiping or criticizing or even coarseness in speech. James reminds us to be “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath,” for he says, “The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity...set on fire of hell” (James 1:19; 3:6).

“Study [that is, diligently strive] to be quiet,” Paul says (1 Thessalonians 4:11), and avoid “foolish talking” (Ephesians 5:4). When we do speak, our words should center on “that which is good to the use of edifying,” “always with grace, seasoned with salt” (Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 4:6). The Lord Jesus Christ Himself warned against this sin of talkativeness. “But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned” (Matthew 12:36-37). Such standards may seem impossible to meet, but we should always strive to meet them, for Christ is our example, and “hereunto were ye called...that ye should follow his steps” (1 Peter 2:21). HMM

[osric-giroux-ffxiv]

one: outside layer

[Name:] "Osric Slater."

[Hair Style & colour:] "Black - I keep it short, a bit messy. It does have a tendency to get into my eyes."

[Eye Color:] "Blue"

[Height:]  "Six fulms, even."

[Style:] "If I'm working I prefer armor that allows me to move around. Nothing showy, nothing over the top. Dark colors - blues and blacks primarily."

[Best Physical Feature:] "Haven't really given it much thought...shoulders or chest, I suppose - though the chest has a fairly...significant scar across the center."

two: inner layer

[Fears:] "Failure, abandonment...not being good enough."

[Guilty Pleasure:] "A good cigar. I can't find them often, but every once in a while it's worth the trouble to hunt one down."

[Biggest Pet Peeve:]  "People thinking they're 'holier than thou' just because of the family they were born into or the physical features they have. Not terribly fond of liars either."

[Ambition for the Future:] "To have steady work - anything beyond that is right now, considered superfluous."

three: thoughts

[First Thought When Waking Up:] "Depends on whether I'm on a job or not. If I am - then it's about the job. What needs to be done, what are my next steps, do I need to notify anyone, etc. If I'm at home, it might be about what I need to get done during the day - training, looking into work, things along those lines."

[What You Think About the Most:] "Work." (He would not admit to it - particularly not now, but he thinks quite a bit about his past, and mistakes he made in a recent relationship.)

[What You Think About Before Bed:] "What needs to be taken care of the next day."

[Your Best Quality Is:] "I'm loyal - I take care of those I care about..even if it does eventually come back to bite me in the ass."

four: what’s better

[Single or Group Dates?] "Single."

[To be Loved or to be Respected?] "Respected."

[Beauty or Brains?] "Intelligence in and of itself is attractive, but a bit of both."

[Cats or Dogs?] "If you're asking for preference, then dogs. Cats are fine though."

four: do you…

[Lie?] "No. I've been lied to enough - I don't want to treat others that way if I can help it."

[Believe in Yourself?] He scoffed. "In a battle, sure. Outside of that, not particularly."

[Believe in Love?]  "I did. Once. Doubt has very much settled in."

[Want Someone?] "Yes...but they no longer want me, and maybe they never did. It doesn't matter now."

six: have you ever…

[Been on Stage?] "No."

[Done Drugs?] "No."

[Changed Yourself to Fit In Somewhere?] "Yes - it was necessary at the time and I'd do it again. The walls are there for a reason and they do their job well."

seven: favorite

[Favorite Color:] "Dark colors, blacks and blues."

[Favorite Food:]  "Steak."

[Favorite Game:] "Can't think of one off the top of my head."

eight: age

[When Your Next Birthday Will Be:] "22nd Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon."

[How Old Will You Be?] "Thirty-one."

[Age You Lost Your Virginity:] "...Seventeen."

[Does Age Matter?]  "Suppose it would depend on the person and what they're looking for. I suppose I'd prefer to be with someone in my age range, but that would assume I'd be with someone at all."

nine: in a partner

[Best Personality:] "Honest, caring, able to communicate their needs, understanding...accepting."

[Best Eye Colour:]  He frowned, starting to answer before cutting himself off. "It doesn't really matter."

[Best Hair Colour:] "...It's the same answer as in regards to eye color...it doesn't really matter."

[Best Thing to do With a Partner:] "With the right partner, it could be anything - I would think."

ten: finish the sentence

[I Love…] ...those important to me."

[I Feel…] too much, it was easier when it was nothing."

[I Hide…] the man behind the mask."

[I Miss…] the certainty that came with ignorance...though only sometimes."

[I Wish…] I'd made different choices."

Tagging - YOU, yeah YOU. If you haven't done it, consider yourself tagged to do it.

#of lances and lament

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 4: To exist (Part 6)

Warnings: mention of drugs

Author notes: debate about how I depicted Yōko’s condition in the 4th part is opened! More seriously, this is one long part, but I hope you’ll like it. To be honest, that part was the one which made me so nervous about the chapter... Don’t hesitate to give me your opinion! Also, I realised I liked reblogs too! ^^

It was night when I woke up. The first thing I noticed in the darkness was the thing pressed onto my face. An oxygen mask. It was not there before. Had my body tried to give up on me again? After all, I was not supposed to be alive... And Lord was I thirsty. The tips of my fingers moved and I looked for the pager to call the nurse, who fortunately was never far from the infirmary. She turned on a small light and came to the side of my bed. I pointed to the breathing machine.

"Your oxygen saturation suddenly dropped while you were sleeping… Your body still needs to recover from the overdose, after all... Not to mention that nasty pneumonia… Hopefully, you are fine." She explained.

"I..." My voice was husky, but I could talk "What…?"

Morphine overdose…? Pneumonia…? What about my ability…?

"I'll bring you some water." She smiled "You are recovering just fine. Your body is trying to hold on."

I requested to sit up by myself, and slowly raised my back from the mattress to take the cup of water in my shaking hands. Feebly, I brought it to my mouth, and drank, absolutely relishing in the sensation of hydration.

"That's good." She complimented me "You should have some rest now."

"Wait…" I still had some trouble breathing "What exactly… What exactly killed me…?"

"Although it is clear your ability made you suffer, Ogawa-san, the thing that almost took your life today was morphine…" She sighed "And I even told you to be careful…"

"I don't understand…"

"It caused a severe respiratory depression." She explained "It means you could not breathe anymore, which made your oxygen saturation drop tremendously…"

"But… My headache… My fatigue… The pain… The coughing, even…!"

"Muscle pains and intracranial hypertension — your headache — are after effects of morphine. The fact you could not sleep first caused your headache, of course, but also made you weak, which is why you somehow caught pneumonia. That explains the coughing. As I said, we can't deny your ability was highly involved, but all that pain was increased by the drug." She explained "Only, you were never diagnosed because… You would never come for anything other than being stitched up like a ragged cloth…"

"... I see…" I looked down "I see…"

"Ogawa-san…" She took my hand into her "It isn't your fault…"

"No, indeed… I… I was just stupid… I caused this… I'm such a fool…"

Tears fell onto the sheets but I did not mind. All that pain… I had inflicted it myself.

"And… Dazai-san..." I exhaled "Is he... Is he alright...?"

The few words and reactions I could have witnessed when being awake had clearly indicated he did feel some guilt, inside. I did not want him to think it was his fault I was dying; it was all just a mistake I had committed.

"That stubborn child refused to leave..." She sighed "He constantly kept an eye on you and was the first one to notice the drop of your saturation. I... Think this accident made him reflect on himself."

"I don't know..." I looked down, only to finally notice he was still there, asleep with his head on the bed.

"That's only my opinion..." The nurse shrugged "He never let go of you, fearing you would wake up if his ability did not cancel yours."

"It's untrue..." I refused to believe it "He... He doesn't care... He is just putting on an act... As soon as I get better, he will... Again..."

Just imagining him beating me up again was enough to stress me out, and the monitor's rhythm increased with my heartbeat. Waking him up.

"Nurse, there is a —"

He saw me, and did not finish his sentence.

"You must calm down..." The nurse advised, laying me back "We will talk it out after your recovery. For now, you must not be anxious about anything."

"What's the point in recovering if I have to come back after...?" I murmured.

"What's going on...?" My superior looked at the nurse.

"Nothing you should care about for the moment. But, understand her nervousness... And I share her concern. Why are you suddenly nice toward Ogawa-san?" She frowned "It is not my business, but the bruises I wrapped up for her speak for themselves."

"... My hand must have slipped while I was dozing off..." He dodged the matter "I'll cancel your ability again, Ogawa-kun."

"Why...?" I avoided his touch "Why now? Why are you even here? What are you trying to make me believe?"

"... Is that how you see me? A liar...?" He looked upset.

"Not a liar. A puppeteer." I confessed, sincerely terrified "I can't understand what you think... I can only think about your ulterior motives, always, always... I am afraid of being played with..."

"I've never tried to manipulate your feelings to gain your loyalty..." He defended.

"Stop this nonsense, please… Manipulating… You do that all too well…! You do that all the time…"

"Ogawa-kun… Not with you…"

"Why did you praise me so randomly once, just to beat the crap out of me the next day, then?" I started sobbing "I don't understand... Do you just hate me...?"

"I don't hate you...! Obviously I don't hate you..."

"Then, am I too weak...?"

"That's not it..."

The nurse had left, most certainly to let us talk alone.

"What is it, then? Are you just bipolar...?! Or am I insane...?"

"I just wanted to train you... I wanted to make you stronger so you did not die... I honestly never noticed I was the one killing you." Dazai-san lowered his head "It's embarrassing, but I did not know about your pain, about your addiction... Until yesterday. Am I not a useless executive...? Had I done something… Had I done something, perhaps you never would have ended in such a state."

"... Right now..." I gripped onto the sheets "I am not sure whether you are acting or being sincere... I'm sorry, Dazai-san..."

"I don't want you to die!" He said, more willingly "I don't want you to die... Being tough and merciless was the actual act... I wanted you to grow accustomed to the Mafia... I wanted you to cast away your emotions, not to be morally struggling with decisions... I wanted to toughen you up, so you would resist against the enemies, so you would be mentally strong... But the only thing I managed to create was a machine, expert in torture and assassination, who does the job without a glance behind, who sheds blood with no hesitation, who looks down on pain... In a way, I obtained what I wanted, but... It isn't you. It isn't the girl who cried for attention that I first met. When I look at you and see fear, hatred, disgust and resentment in your eyes, I can't help thinking I did something wrong... But I could not understand what... Until you told me you wanted me to kill you. At this moment, I knew that nothing I had attempted with you would work. I've recently come to realise I was only hurting you... Forcefully making you face such violence, trying to mould you into the perfect subordinate... I have to admit it was a mistake. I can't believe I am the one who turned off that flickering yet bright flame of life in your eyes, whereas... Whereas it shone so warmly..."

It was understandable that someone who yearned to end his life would be fascinated by someone willing to live. That I was the one he was drawn to, however, was surprising. His words made me doubt as well. Indeed, since when had I become such a cold-hearted person? Since when had I killed without even a thought for the victim? Since when had I looked so eagerly for the worst methods of torture? I suddenly remembered how reluctant I had been to join the Port Mafia, how I had pretended to prefer dying... Since when had I lost my will to stay alive?

"You always repeat that the weak must die… I am weak, then why won't you let me leave? I questioned, curtly.

"Because... Because I want you to fetch me a cup of coffee, I want you to classify the paperwork for me...!" He sounded like a child about to throw a tantrum "The office... It felt less empty with you inside..."

"Now, you're just being difficult…" I looked away "I want to believe you, Dazai-san, I really want to. However… You've so often changed your mind and I am tired. I can't afford to be deceived anymore… I don't want to be disappointed in someone anymore…"

"... I know..." Dazai-san's eyes focused on his feet "I understand... It leaves an empty hole in your chest, you don't know what to think anymore... I know that... I didn't think I would make you feel that way, nonetheless..."

"You... You understand my point...?" I frowned.

"Of course... People are never what they seem. You, for example, look strong, determined, yet you are so sick you could die at any moment. People tell sweet lies in front of you, yet curse you when you are not looking. I know that..." He chuckled bitterly "Perhaps the problem comes from me... Perhaps am I a failure of a human being, tired of living, but mostly —"

"Afraid of your fellows…" I stared at him, finally understanding "You're afraid of us… And you don't know how to behave around me… That's why you seem so lunatic…"

"Do you hate me for that...? No, such a question... It is obvious you would hate me..."

"I've already told you… There are many people who do that better than me…" I paused to catch my breath "I don't hate you, Dazai-san. In fact, I pity you… And I feel… A bit stupid…"

I had believed Dazai-san was purposely rough and contemptuous toward me, because he did not like me, because I was too weak, because I was worthless. In fact... In fact, whereas he did not like me, he did not loathe me either, and that alone was enough to appease me. There was some place for me by his side, as a subordinate. I could keep serving him, obeying his commands, and he would not mind. If only I would not die... I could have strived to understand the pain gnawing at him from the inside, I could have tried to comprehend his feelings, instead of detesting him as I had done. At the very least, toughening me up had permitted me to survive in the cruel world of darkness the Port Mafia belonged to.

"What you did was undeniably wrong… You can't teach one if you use violence… Hitting me, abusing me, harassing me… Nothing can ever erase this fact… If I cannot forget, then, at least, I can try to forgive. You are the reason I survived so far, and for that I am grateful."

"You shouldn't be grateful that I treated you so brutally..."

"To be honest…" I recalled my time by his side, not without a tinge of bitterness "I really wanted to strive, to be a proper subordinate, worthy of being the protege of the infamous Demon Prodigy's… I guess I wanted to be useful, somehow, for once in my life. I wanted to exist, to be acknowledged as a human being. You did that, though… You treated me as a human being, although it was not ideal. You did not ignore me, at least. Thank you, Dazai-san, for making me feel alive, even if it was short."

"I don't deserve your thanks… But you're welcome…" He avoided my look.

"What are you afraid of? From me, I mean?"

"Huh…?"

"What could I do to harm you? What could I say to hurt you? Scheming against you? You would find out immediately. Talking behind your back? Many people do that. Besides, I've always been honest about you; I can't stand you. Well, I couldn't…" I mumbled "So… Why?"

"Why, indeed… It's not just about you…"

"I know… I'm not asking you to trust me… I just want to know that, if you need a loyal subordinate, you have one."

"Ogawa-kun… You can't mean it, not after everything I've done…"

"Oh but I do mean it. It is my way to redeem myself, too."

"... What do you mean…?"

I avoided his eyes for a moment, strangely unable to face the inquisitive and somewhat hopeful expression he wore. Why did he have to look so childish? So harmless? Although… He had not always acted like a cold adult man… All the times he had bickered with Nakahara-san, all the times he had dropped the mask of toughness to smile at me, even faintly, and that one time he had sounded relieved when I had recovered from the wounds inflicted by Gustavo Cosola… In fact, I had never paid attention to him, despite the warning Oda-san had given me. I did not understand him, nor did I know him. Dazai-san had troubles and I had forgotten that under the armour of the Demon Prodigy was hidden a small, terrified sixteen years old child, who strangely resembled me. Behind a wall of mercilessness, we were just teenagers who had grown up too quickly and had been thrown without concern in a world of adults, forced to become adults ourselves and to carry the immense burden of death upon our shoulders.

"I was too selfish…" I muttered "Too centered on myself. I did not see that it wasn't easy for you either…"

"Ogawa-kun…" He sighed "I have to confess something, since you're honest with me; everything I did was to train you… But I would lie if I said I never took my frustration out on you. On bad days, or only to hide my weakness, I beat you up without caring about your improvement. The light that shone in your eyes… Yes, there were times I wanted to turn it off. How dared you hold onto life? How could you believe in tomorrow? Break, cry, fall into despair or die being worthless, these were my actual thoughts."

"What do you hope to achieve by telling this to me?" I asked simply.

"I wanted to see if you would loathe me, now."

"Dazai-san… I knew all that. I mean, it was obvious you had some stress to let out." I tilted my head "The only thing I really resent you for is not teaching me to control my ability properly… For the rest… Now that I am going to die, anyway, there is no point in holding a grudge against you. I'd rather leave peacefully…"

"But I don't want you to leave…" A sort of pout formed on his lips "I don't want to lose you…"

"Losing me…?" I huffed, amused "I am not a toy for you to play with… I can't be lost. Besides, you merely need me to serve as furniture for your office. I may have given you my loyalty, Dazai-san, but I haven't given up on my pride as a human being. Do remember that, please."

He sighed. Heavily. Was he annoyed? Was he tired of me?

"I am ready to take my responsibilities. Weak people die, but you don't belong to them. You are my subordinate and you know I don't allow my men to be weak." He stood up, crossing his arms "You won't die, because I decided so."

"My body is in no state to fight…" I argued "I have pneumonia and I am a morphine addict. I can't sleep and my immune system has already collapsed a long time ago. What do you expect me to do? Besides, you have another protege… From what I heard, he is much more useful than me."

"I expect you to recover." He faced me, the usual Port Mafia executive replacing the distressed child "And, about Akutagawa-kun… He has no idea what his ability is made for, don't compare the two of you. You two have different strengths."

"But he succeeds where I am powerless." I stated "He —"

"He is a blade without a sheath. I need to control him in order to make him the most powerful ability user of the Port Mafia. When that day comes, he will be, without a doubt, the organisation's greatest asset. For now, however, he is nothing but an untamed dog."

"Dazai-san… You hate dogs…" I remarked, feeling sorry for Akutagawa-kun.

"What you lack in physical strength, you compensate with that." He pressed a finger to my forehead without paying attention to my words "You learnt what I taught you, what I could never teach him. That is why you are a valuable subordinate in my squadron, because I can trust your wit, because I know that you are able to replace me."

"I could never, Dazai-san…!" I protested "I am nowhere near you…!"

"That's right. But you are above the others, and that is all that matters. You can lead in my stead if needed. Mmh, it's actually better to keep you alive." He seemed to think aloud "There are more pros than cons…"

"I am not a tool…" I reminded him, vexed.

"No, you are my subordinate." He agreed.

In his mouth, it did not sound too different…

"Oh~ It could be interesting, giving you Yamada-san's seat…~" He mumbled, walking around the bed in deep thought "But then you couldn't be on the field anymore… What to do~? I want to see that idiot's disappointed face…~"

"What does it matter, anyway? Can I even fight again with that body? Just give me paperwork if all you need is my brain…" I groaned.

"You will fight again." He declared "Why couldn't you? Just rest and take your treatment. It is a matter of time before you are physically back on your feet, anyway. And give up on morphine; I'll grant you sleep from now on."

"Dazai-san!" I burst, unable to hold it in any longer "Did… Did you even pay attention when we were talking…? Were you even sincere…?!"

His fist hit the wall, suddenly, and I jumped in fear. I had given him my loyalty, I had been honest with him… Had he manipulated me again…? He did not move. His back was toward me. I was about to say something when a small detail caught my attention. His hand, the one that had punched the wall, was trembling. He let it fall to his side.

"You must be useful…" He hissed between his teeth "I have to find some use in you, even while you are recovering…"

The bandage covering his skin was slowly reddening as he muttered incoherent words and I sighed. I understood, although too late again.

"There is… There is a position I can occupy, even in this bed…" I spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence "If my presence serves a purpose, the Port Mafia won't need to get rid of me."

"What is it…?" He slowly turned around.

"I believe a lieutenant is still missing in your squadron, Dazai-san. Until I recover, I could lead the men from afar and take care of lower missions for you. Then, once I am better and able to fight, I can accompany them directly." I suggested "Besides, it will drastically decrease your paperwork… Which is at your advantage, isn't it?"

I cracked a small smile and waited for his response. He really did not want me to die, that I was sure of. However, the organisation did not care about damaged goods. If I did not prove myself to be more than a disposable pawn, an order to abandon me would be given, forcing my superior to either eliminate me or let me rot somewhere. In both cases, I would die.

"A lieutenant… It is true that I don't have that." He held his chin a second "Very well, I shall promote you. After all, I never got to reward you properly for your contribution to the fight against the Sicilian Mafia."

He gave me an understanding smirk, and I nodded, accepting the offer.

"Thank you, Dazai-san. I will strive not to disappoint you."

"Good. Take a week off for your initial recovery, then I will send the first piles of paperwork to you."

"Thank you for your consideration."

"Also… Odasaku may or may not visit you later… I remember he knows a cheap yet clean place not far from the headquarters." He added, heading toward the door "Ask him about it, I'm sure he'll be glad to answer you. Dust is bad for your lungs."

I chuckled once he exited the infirmary, and laid back on the bed. There I was, alive, already impatient to discover the paperwork he had promised. It was a good feeling, breathing, even if I still felt uncomfortable. I did not want to die anymore. There were still things I needed to do and a superior somehow counting on me. I could not let him down… And I wanted to see the sun set on Yokohama once again.

It was wonderful to exist again.

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#bsd #bsd oc #bsd fanfic #bsd dazai #bsd imagines #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs oc #dazai osamu

[wanna-b-poet31]

Hastur’s Brutal Honesty (A  Good Omens Meta?)

So Like, This is me just drafting my bigger idea that Hastur as the perfect literary mirror to Aziraphale...but the closer I look at him, the more...honest??? he seems.  Which, considering how Crowley chooses to lie, leads me to an interesting conclusion about the role of dis/honesty in the series. Namely, how his words (when compared to Aziraphale, Crowley, Heaven and Hell) intersects with loyalty, cruelty, and kindness. 

>Plan on hearing more about Hastur and Aziraphale in the future...but in the meantime, some observations<

First, as I discuss in Part 3 of my Lying/Honesty series: I identify instances where Angel’s lie (with Aziraphale being a good example of a poor liar) but also I made a passing comment that there is an inexplicable honest streak among the demons. 

It got me thinking about WHY? Especially because their honesty doesn’t make them any less cruel or abusive. So I go to thinking...(a dangerous pastime, I know)  

Yes, the demons are more aware of other’s ability to deceive them, like Beelzebub’s jab at Michael that “it’s not that we don’t trust you, but we don’t trust you” and further, TESTING the water before subjecting “Crowley” to it. But...do we see them honestly, lie? And, is that indicative of something bigger?

I will note, they clearly say they don’t trust each other:

>GIF of Ligur asking Hastur if he trusts Crowley. Hastur replies “no”<  But do their actions match their words? I would argue not.

Case in point: Hastur.

I find Hastur’s behavior particularly interesting because I’ve recently re-watched the series and noticed, the closest he gets to a lie is when he knocks on Crowley’s door and Ligur say’s they just want to talk to him. However, this feels more like a threat, with ironic intent, rather than a flat lie. 

He is also particularly gullible, similar to the naiveite we see Aziraphale exhibit. Yes, he’s clearly more malicious than Aziraphae (as we see him burn down the church, threaten Crowley, and kill another demon without remorse) but we also see him willingly ask questions, and easily believe Crowley’s deceptions.

For example, we see him openly and honestly communicate with Ligur while they’re sulking, waiting for Crowley to show up. Sure, he’s wrong about what “Caio” means, but is it a lie? It seems more like his arrogance of Italian, transliterating it to an English word than an actual lie.  

Even when he’s greeting Warlock’s family, we don’t see him lie. He’s simply too preoccupied with the coming of his master to care about what anyone else thinks. I’m also hesitant to classify “threats” with “lies” because while they may not come to fruition, he certainly intends for them to be true. The closest lie I can think about is when he’s disguised himself to capture Crowley. He doesn’t even lie when he’s reading out Crowley’s crimes to the audience.

Instead, we actually see that he’s actually surprised by Crowley’s lies. As much as he claims not to trust other Demons, when he’s actively pursuing Crowley and Ligur is killed, for a split second, Hastur looks like he believes Crowley’s lie that “the Dark Council” is testing him.

This scene seems to highlight the fundamental difference between Crowley and Hastur: honesty vs. cruelty.

Hastur is unspeakably cruel, where Crowley is kind and Hastur is oddly honest where Crowley freely lies. They are foils for sure (stay tuned for that meta sometime soon) and I think this nuance matters. 

Like, in this scene Hastur also genuinely believes, however briefly, that Crowley is calling the Dark Council. This is AFTER Crowley lied about the anti-christ, lied (by omission) that he befriended an Angel, just wrote Ligur (Hastur’s bestie) out of reality, and lied about putting holy water into the water mister. 

By all accounts, there is no reason Hastur should trust Crowley at this moment, but he still does. The above Gif doesn’t do justice to the tone of voice that Hastur gives when he asks if Crowley is calling the dark council. It’s almost downright hopeful. It doesn’t occur to him until Crowley says “so long sucka” that Crowley’s lied to him. 

Sure, Crowley is the most convincing liar in the series, and his performance is top-notch, but at this point, Hastur still demonstrates trust. I think both because it doesn’t dawn on him that he’d be the recipient of an unkind lie AND because Crowley still hasn’t shown the unbriddled cruelty Hastur himself would demonstrate. Crowley’s only acted out of self-defense. It’s not until Hastur has time to fully process the loss of Ligur (in answering-machine land) he realizes Crowley’s no longer on his side. 

In reality, Crowley never was. Crowley has ever only been loyal to Aziraphale, and Hastur has only been loyal to Hell.

And I think the motivating reason is the brutal cruelty Hastur, and other demons, display. Ligur and Hastur both waste no time shoving a poor Eric into the Hellhound’s pit and kill 2 more Eric’s at the “traditional” end of the world cite. They do these acts of cruelty without a second thought.  Hastur laughs with glee as nuns are screaming for their lives and the satanic church is burned.

It truly mirrors the way Heaven/God is fine killing everyone except for Noah and his family. There is no remorse.

The only time we see the sliver of cruelty in Crowley is in the above scene. When Ligur is destroyed, Anthony “you can’t kill the kids” Crowley is directly responsible. But, this is self-defense and Ligur is clearly a vehicle for abuse. And, it is clearly framed differently from how Hastur’s several acts of cruelty are. 

For the show he puts on, Crowley is not cruel, not even to his enemies. Crowley does not relish killing, opting to give Nazis a choice to leave while still not condoning their behavior. Unlike Hastur who is downright gleeful that the nuns who have helped him are running for his life, Crowley adds no emphasis to killing. He is not nice, but he is not unkind nor does things out of purely malicious intent.  

Meanwhile, Hastur goes above and beyond to be cruel. When he kills the demon at trial (his 4th!! demon murder!!) he still is not lying but he’s certainly not being kind. This tells me that honesty is not intrinsically “kind” nor is it intrinsically “bad” in the series. Rather, it is but one weapon in the arsenal choice.

If I bring my train of thought to the ineffable husbands, it gives so much more meaning to Crowley’s active choice NOT to lie to Aziraphale. I’ve said it before, that this show is dependent on choice. He chooses the kinder of the two options. Crowley could lie, he has the imagination for it, and he wields it against their adversaries (Hell) well. However, he doesn’t. he only ever points out what Aziraphale is unable or sometimes unwilling to acknowledge as truth. 

Hastur. meanwhile, he chooses to be cruel beyond belief and chooses to be honest. He does not make the same grand show to lie to his enemies. For him, the truth behind his threats and his impulse to act in the moment are greater tools for harm. 

Aziraphale, thinks he’s choosing the kinder option to lie to Crowley at the Bandstand. He certainly is saying “true” words, but neither believe it at this point, and both are harmed by it. We also know he thinks lying can be unkind, but he uses it primarily as a defensive tool, not an offensive one. It is not until he realizes how much abuse he’s internalized that he realizes who deserves his kind honesty: Crowley. 

This also brings greater emphasis to the way honesty and dishonesty can be manipulated. Crowley and Aziraphale lie self-defense. Neither relish lying, but will because the kind of honesty they are being fed by their respective sides is cruel, and nothing like the unspoken, unnamed truth between the two of them. 

Hell is unkind, unloving, and unspeakably cruel. Heaven is cold, unfeeling, and cruel. Crowley is the victim of clear and specific abuse at the hands of hell and does not need to feel sorry for lying to his abuser.  Aziraphale has been belittled and gaslighted by Heaven and both lie for protection. 

However, Hastur is honest only as a means to be cruel. When Crowley chooses, to be honest, it is explicitly to be kind and to be loving. 

So I bring myself back to my initial observation. Why do Demons have an honest streak? I think it is because for them (and for Heaven) lying and honesty is neither good nor bad. Instead, they add “weight to the moral argument” they’re making. They are much more concerned with outcome (which is always an offensive mechanism) than the means. It just so happens Demons bully and intimidate for what they want without especially needing to lie.

TLDR: Yes, Hastur chooses to be honest, but the outcome is still cruelty. Yes, Crowley chooses to lie, but the outcome is protection. Lying is not intrinsically bad, honesty is not intrinsically good. Demons cant still be super abusive even if they don’t lie about it.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk

#good omens #Ineffable Husbands #good omens meta #gomens #gomens meta

[ahsokamygirl]

Sleep Well, My Angel

Summary: Plagued by Force visions of his late wife, Darth Vader seeks closure in her mausoleum. Inspired by Sleep Well, My Angel by We Are The Fallen.

Tags: Suicie Attempt Mentioned, Angst, Character Study (Darth Vader|Anakin Skywalker)

Happy May, 4th

AO3 (more SW fanfics) | On Archive of Our Own

Watching you sleep for so long

He stood before the heavy doors, drawing courage to do this. His black suit hissed with his mechanic breathing, his cape swirled around him and he felt himself shake.

He debated once again if this was a good idea. He didn’t know what he was doing there, he just hoped… This was his desperate plea.

He looked at the glass windows near the doors. All colorful, contrasting with the atmosphere of the place. The day was cold, windy. Dark, as if the Force was responding to how he felt inside.

The heavy doors blocked his entrance. Not anymore. He’d been kept away for far too long. And, somehow, something inside him said in a dreadful whisper, not enough. He took a deep breath before waving his hand and the doors opened. A loud groan came from them from their weight, but otherwise nothing resisted. There was no point in her mausoleum being locked with the heavy security sent to guard it. Palpatine’s direct orders, he’d been told.

Knowing that I can’t turn the rain into sun anymore

He took a breath, as much as the machinery allowed for his lungs, and stepped into the mausoleum. His eyes immediately fell on her. Her tomb. A block of even, grey concrete. He didn’t notice his feet moving closer, so much so he could just reach out and touch. The atonal ambient was such a contrast to the colors, the flowers and the mural. The mural. The glass mural behind her. His eyes lifted to look the bright glass. It was the closest he’d ever get to see her again. The closest he’d ever get to see her again and not have her say how he’d killed her.

She was so beautiful, so full of light and love and pain he couldn’t face her. So he turned around and looked at her tomb, but she was still there. She’d always be there. The day may have been dark, filled with rains and clouds, but there was enough light to see. There was enough light to make the engraved image in the glass shine through. The time placed her entirely where her tomb was, like she was dancing in colors and swirling in emotions around him.

She was even more beautiful now, ethereal, whimsical. She looked like a true angel.

“Are you an angel?”

And the image engulfed him. He is but a darkness right in her center, as he was always meant to be. The source of her pain, of her heartbreak.

She was depicted in her royal clothes, as any Naboo queen should be. Except she was not cremated like the others, as it was the tradition in the planet, but buried. It had been a gift, for him to see her again, since he missed her funeral. After his battle with his former Master, his injuries had rewarded him with endless weeks of surgery, pain and maintenance for his life-support suit. And then the missions came and he was glad because he had had no guts to come visit her until now. Until the vision of her and the collapsed building. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to visit his wife, dead and with their unborn child still inside her.

He was supposed to save her life, their child’s life. But he failed. Failed to keep her safe, keep her alive. He even failed to keep her happy, he thought bitterly as he remembered the tears in her eyes, light up by the river lavas.

I’ve given you all that I am

His hands ached to touch hers, touch her. He wanted to feel her soft skin touching his damaged face and soothing the pain, the agony. But how can he touch such a delicacy after what he did? After what he had become?

“I love you!”

“Liar!”

After he caused her so much pain, physically and emotionally. He had given everything he had to keep her safe. He had turned on the Jedi Order, himself and untimely her. In the end wasn’t that his mistake? Losing himself made him lose her

Now I stand here too scared to hold your hand

Losing himself acted as a catalysis to lose her. Padmé loved the hero of the galaxy, the good person. Padmé loved Anakin Skywalker. She didn’t love a monster, she couldn’t. She was purely light and he was meant to lash out at her with the fire of the Dark Side. He knew all that back on Mustafar, just a little more than a year ago. The guilt he had felt was enough to make him cry then, afraid he’d lose his wife, the reason he did every dark deed asked of him. But that guilt was not enough to stop him. No, rather he chose to draw strength and power from it, like the Jedi never allowed. Like the Sith encouraged.

Afraid you might wake to see

Afraid she’d come visit him again, just to say how much she hated him, how it was all his fault. The vision he had had brought on many feelings of guilty, longing, rawness, rage, love.

“… But you died.”

“No. I did not die,” she said.

Padmé lowered her light blue hood and revealed her face. Her dead, mostly bones with and barely any skin or muscles.

“You killed me,” she said. “You.”

He shuddered just thinking about it and the pain was too much. It took his breath away and made his legs tremble. He fell to his mechanical knees before he could stop himself, shoulder shaking. He thought he could save her. Her and their child.

The monster that had to leave

He believed his new master could save her. Save her from any menaces, from dying in childbirth. From everything. She was healthy, he knew it. He saw the medical droid’s affirmations after examining her. Her lineage had no problems during pregnancies either, all of Naboo to be more specific. She had been through battles, assassinations attempts… Nothing was supposed to hurt her. Ever. Except…

He never thought he would be what finally killed her.

‘Cause you see the shelter as the storm

He had offered her peace, security, power and love. He had offered it to her, he had given himself entirely to her.

“You’re going down a path I can’t follow.”

She saw it as bad future, a dark possibility. She said no. she saw the shelter he had accomplished as the storm.

Holding wind to keep you warm

Padmé Amidala was everything Anakin Skywalker ever wanted. She was his glowing light in the darkness, the love of his life.

But she couldn’t be everything for Vader. His master had commanded him to leave that life behind and so he would. He would emerge from this place entirely Darth Vader.

You were everything to me

This is why I have to leave

Padmé Amidala was everything to him. And that is, precisely, why he has to leave. Leave this mausoleum as Darth Vader, the Emperor’s fist, without an ounce of the Skywalker.

That name wasn’t who he was anymore. Hadn’t been for a long time already. He just had always carried a piece of him inside, the part that was good for her. She believed he had good in him still, after he Fell and turned to the Dark Side, after he killed younglings, after his dark deeds.

Under the ash and the lies

Something beautiful once here now dies

His intentions weren’t to forget. No, never forget. How could he forget his angel? No. He came here to find peace. He came here to find closure, to find peace of mind.

He couldn’t shake the image of Padmé that filled his head almost constantly now.

And the tears blurry my eyes

As you sit there all alone

He should be there with her. He should have died with her. He felt the pull, the end of his life, the Force calling for him, the peace it would involve him in with. But then his master had saved him, given him life. His latest holocall with him had showed how displeased he was with his suicidal actions.

Honoring his master’s gift of life, he decided to seek closure instead of actually killing himself.  His master had giving him life again. A purpose. Something to do, something to accomplish. And he couldn’t disappoint his master.

Except…

I just want to come home

Except it wasn’t that easy. He couldn’t just let her go. If he could, Anakin Skywalker would have done it a long time ago. He couldn’t. What he could do though… It wasn’t her he had to let go. It was himself. It was the hero of the galaxy, the Hero with No Fear that had lived in fear. He hesitated because without him, no part of him would ever have her again. And then he could never go home. Not that she would ever accept him back. Not now, not like this. She had made it very clear.

There was nothing for him there anymore.

I’m sorry

He’d been unstable when he turned to the Dark Side. The sudden, immense power he felt from the Dark Side once he Fell had been overwhelming. And the power from his emotions gave him helped too. The anger, the hate, the fear, the grief, the love… All emotions the Jedi kept forbidden to him, that kept his power away, locked up. That kept him at their mercy, always getting punished, punishing himself. The Force screamed at his power. He had never felt such emotions so strongly, so purely. And he had never drawn from them, only kept them at bay.

Then he was free. Truly, for the very first time. Except his freedom had come with a price and it was too high for her to pay. And he knew that, even before she told him. Before-

“I don’t know you anymore. You’re going down a path I can’t follow.”

I’m sorry

He had asked her forgiveness, but not only didn’t grant it, she also blamed him. For her death, for their child’s. She had her mind set on blaming him and she was right. He had killed her, he was to blame. Her love for him had ended and it was all his fault. Nobody else’s. His and only his fault. Guilt and shame corrupted his insides, churning and smoldering them even further.

He had dismissed her love once, accused her of betraying him, and now he was paying the price.

And oh, how steep a price. Had he only known.

Sleep well, my Angel

His voice regulator kept his emotional state at bay, modifying it to sound neutral. It avoided the public to view his emotions, just like his mask. Oh if others only knew how much he felt under the mask.

“Sleep well, my angel,” he said in a deep, clear voice, but as a raspy, broken voice inside.

His voice modulator changed his voice and he only hoped Padmé would recognize it in the Force, recognize him. Though he doubted she’d want any contact with him by free choice, unless it was to hurt him. And after their last encounter – that dreaded Force vision that had left him hurt, raw - he wasn’t sure could take it. As a matter of fact, he was certain he couldn’t. He would have to learn how leave the guilt behind. Behind a name he didn’t go by anymore.

His gloved thumb brushed the engraved symbol at her tomb one last time before he rose to his feet, turned and walked away from her resting place, his cape flowing wildly behind him and the doors closing with a loud noise.

The Dark Side sang his renewed rage and pain, making him stronger, more powerful in the Force.

And Darth Vader never looked back.

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