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#like i actually...... want to live like there are actual things i want to do?? actually?????? this is nuts
orcboxer · 24 hours
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Okay let me try this one again. The Trolley Problem sets up a scenario that sucks to be in. You either kill one guy, or you kill five guys. Nobody likes these options. We all don't want this be happening. That's kind of the point. It's a moral quandary. It's supposed to feel bad.
Now, according to a recent post floating around on tumblr, choosing either of the two options demonstrates "learned helplessness" and makes you a neolib sheep. The only correct answer, the post states, is to reject the question altogether. (Or to change the parameters of the question to include an option that saves everyone, thus eliminating the moral quandary.)
It sounds nice, doesn't it? Fuck this bad situation, we control our imaginations, so let's imagine a situation that doesn't suck. Hah! Bet you didn't think of that!
Here's the problem. Even though I think most situations generally have at least one solution that is both Feasible and Not Terrible, I have to admit that there are some situations (as in, not zero of them) where all the feasible options are unpleasant. This is a natural consequence of living in a world where A Lot Of Things Suck.
But if shitty situations do exist, even if it's super super rare, then it's not unreasonable to ask, "How should we make decisions when we find ourselves in a shitty situation?"
This is the beginning premise of the Trolley Problem. It says, "Hey what if you were in an unambiguously shitty situation? There are many shitty situations, so let's imagine one that is contrived enough to get everyone on the same page regardless of political affiliation, AND really emphasizes the key parts that I want to discuss."
Tumblr says "let me stop you right there. What if instead...we imagined a different scenario that wasn't as shitty?"
Well, okay, but then we're not talking about the same thing anymore. That doesn't actually count as an answer to the problem, you're just changing the subject to a completely different thing.
Tumblr goes on to say, "Exactly. That's the only thing you should ever do when confronted with an ethical quandary. Frankly the fact that you are willing to even consider a scenario that sucks suggests that you are fundamentally incapable of considering less shitty scenarios."
I just want to say I think that's bullshit. I don't think every problem is a trolley problem, but I do think that some problems are a trolley problem. And I think that those problems are worth discussing, even though they don't feel good. The trolley problem exists as a framework to discuss those problems.
Maybe our aversion to difficult decisions has an impact on our ethical reasoning, and maybe we should actually question how our ethical standards hold up under the weight of that aversion. So maybe moral quandaries like the trolley problem are worth discussing. And if you don't want to engage with the quandary, then don't - you don't have to concoct a whole essay about how the quandary is inherently morally bad.
It's possible that what you really want to say is that it sucks when people treat certain situations as trolley problems, when those specific situations actually do contain unambiguously feasible and unambiguously perfect solutions. I would agree with that.
But like. Let's not pretend that you can reduce all of ethics down to unchallenging black and white moralism.
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I keep rewatching that epilogue scene and, the way Hunter and Omega talk about her joining the Rebellion... You can tell this is not the first time they're having this conversation. And I just can't help but wonder what the previous one(s) must have looked like.
Because something tells me it wasn't peaceful.
I just can't imagine Hunter having any other reaction than an immediate, definitive "absolutely not" the first time he hears about Omega wanting to join the Rebellion. Just like I can't imagine Omega being okay with that reaction.
Were they arguing about it? Were they butting heads and not backing down from their respective points? Because they would. Absolutely, they would.
Did their brothers have conversations with both of them separately? Did Wrecker tell Omega to give Hunter a break because he's old and worried? Did Crosshair convince Hunter that he can't keep a grown woman grounded just because he's scared about her? Did Echo tell him that if this is Omega's calling, he has to let her do her thing?
She tried to sneak off. As if she didn't want to go through this again. As if she thought leaving without a goodbye would be easier on everyone and this way no one can stop her. After all, she made up her mind. She's going. But when she turns the light on and spots Hunter sitting there, she's not even surprised. She nods to herself like of course. Of course he's here.
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This literally sounds like they've been over this before. But this time the conversation is surely more peaceful. They both have the other's perspective in their minds now.
This is my choice and I know it scares you but I need you to understand.
I know I won't change your mind but I don't want you to go, I want you to be safe.
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This must have been said before as well. Maybe in anger. Maybe in pleading. Or desperation. I wouldn't be surprised if Omega got very frustrated with Hunter for treating her like she's still a kid. Nor would I be shocked if Hunter had trouble articulating his point of view in all his worry and panic. But here, it's a confession. It's very vulnerable. It's the truth Hunter doesn't want to hear and gives a reason why.
Omega is a grown woman now. Skilled, capable, brave. Hunter doesn't doubt that. But to him, she's always going to be his little girl no matter how old she is and I am still speechless at the fact that we actually see him not only struggling with it but also admitting to it.
Back on Pabu, after they escaped Tantiss, Hunter told her: "We've all fought enough battles for one lifetime." And now, years later, Omega echoes this back to him. "You've all fought enough." Almost like she's reading Hunter's mind and knows that if he can't stop her, he's going to want to join her.
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The way he wants to reach after her here when she gets up. Like he wants to say wait, no, don't go yet!
But this is her fight, just like she says. She's never been able to sit still, we know that, we've seen that. Just like Echo back in season 2, she can't stand the thought of staying down and doing nothing when there are people out there fighting for freedom. People she can help. She's a skilled pilot now (I can bet she'll become most famous in the Rebellion for her flawless Tech-Turn), she has absorbed everything her brothers have taught her over the years like a sponge and now she wants to use that. After years of living away from the fight, she's finally ready to get back out there and make a difference in the galaxy. Fight for peace because that is her calling.
She's ready, but Hunter is not.
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You can tell it's literally tearing him apart to watch her go. That's his baby, the whole reason he's living the life he has now. He gave his blood, sweat and tears so she could grow up safe and happy and away from the Empire's clutches. And now she's going back right into them, willingly.
But she's all grown up. And he has no choice but to let her go do her thing. So he holds her close and I don't doubt sends out a prayer that she comes back to him safe and in one piece. He closes his eyes and commits the feeling to memory because who knows when will be the next time he gets to do this?
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And it might be destroying him inside but he's so damn proud. And he knows she's got this. She doesn't need her old man to watch her back anymore.
And yet still this old man, with gray in his hair and beard, this old man whose posture is hunched and who is moving slowly and having difficulty standing up because of his accelerated age, is telling his very grown up and very capable daughter that if she needs him, he's going to pick up his blaster, don the armor and join her in the fight.
Because that's what fathers do.
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tender-rosiey · 15 hours
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hii! I hope youre doing well ^^ n I have a request!
Fatherhood Gojo, Yuta and Suguru (separate) seeing their daughter have a love interest
let’s say the daughter is like 4-5, just started school with a strong start, one day when they come to pick up their kid— they see a boy that’s also 4-5, giving their daughter flowers or something, how would they react?
(I can imagine mother!reader being delighted at the sight, gojo being dramatic, Yuta being stressed out, and Suguru having a polite smile but yet clenching his fist LMFAO)
“I WILL THROW HANDS AT ANYONE EVEN A KID"
— gojo, sukuna, and suguru seeing their five year old daughter with a love interest (f!reader)
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a/n: here you go go <33 i am so sorry bae that I couldn't include yuuta 😭
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GOJO SATORU:
your daughter is naturally charismatic.
satoru wholeheartedly believes that it is something she has inherited from him.
you disagree because you can’t remember anybody who remained friends with satoru after actually talking to him, aside from those forced to, of course.
now another thing that satoru believes is that said charisma is a double-edged sword. from one side, his daughter is able to make friends quickly which gives him a piece of mind.
on the other side, the thing that makes his vein pop is the fact that filthy dirt-covered boys approach her.
he thought he had solved that problem when he scared away that last kid during her ballet class , but it seems there are always people who are competing for her heart.
he didn’t expect to run into one today though, especially not one blatantly gifting her a bouquet in front of the school gates.
the kid is a blushing mess as he gives the bouquet to her, and your daughter is nothing less than ecstatic. she jumps around, really happy with her bouquet and squealing about how pretty it is.
the little boy smiles timidly as he fidgets with the hem of his shirt, mumbling something that satoru can’t be bothered to care about.
the only things occupying his mind are two: the kid who dares to even speak to his daughter and you with your cute smile because you’re happy for her.
so, he arranges things as he prioritizes him.
he presses one big smooch to your cheek and squishes you in an ever so love-filled hug.
then he proceeds to make his way to deal with the kid who is making moves on his little baby.
he towers behind the boy, and before his little girl greets him, satoru carries the kid from his scruff and throws him in the ball pit conveniently placed beside him.
the kid screams as he falls into the ball-filled abyss.
hurriedly, he gathers his daughter in his arms and showers her with kisses. he nuzzles his nose into her cheek, “how was your day, honey?”
“it was so nice, papa!” she says happily them gets out the bouquet she was given, “and I even got this bouquet!”
“oh, really?” he hums as he takes the bouquet from her hands into his. he inspects it, distaste filling his expression.
you walk to him with a little pep in your step and place your hand around his shoulder, while you kiss your daughter’s cheek.
she squeals a delightful, “mama!” and throws herself into your arms.
you guys quickly get caught in your own conversations, not noticing satoru quickly releasing his technique blue at the poor bouquet making it effectively disappear from existence.
another day saved.
RYOMEN SUKUNA:
being the daughter of ryomen sukuna had its perks.
people strayed away and kept their distance. however, your daughter was a natural sweetheart—ironic considering her father but anyway.
that meant that little boys around estate had a tiny little crush on her which they would never act upon since they do want to continue living.
of course, there is an exception to the norm.
and that exception came in the form of a little servant boy presenting your daughter with a bunch of flowers that he had plucked himself.
your daughter was taken back, and she got flustered but accepted the flowers, nonetheless. on the other hand, you were watching from the side lines and were cheering both her and the boy on.
it was an innocent little gesture between kids. no harm done, so there was no need for—
“what the hell is this?”
you feel your husband’s menacing aura, before you hear his words. you turn to him and rest your hands on his chest and say, “d/n got flowers! isn’t that cute?”
“I can see that,” he grumbles, pinching your cheek in annoyance then directing his gaze to the kids, “but why the hell is a little good-for-nothing servant approaching my daughter? in fact, these servants should not be allowed to talk to her so casually.”
“sukuna, it’s not that big of a deal. just let them be,” you huff, “it’s not like she will fall in love with him, and he will convince her to overthrow you when they’re older.”
your husband stays quiet for a few moments. the man looks like he is actually considering the scenario that you just suggested.
and judging by him slowly approaching the kids, sukuna is going to go with the “better safe than sorry” approach.
you quickly run after him and jump on his back, “love, love, I was joking! please don’t kill him!”
sukuna groans, “and why should I listen to you?”
“cause you love me, and I love you? and we’re husband and wife, y’know?” you smile nervously, and he sets you down, so he can look you in the eye.
“I don’t love you,” he states.
“so I don’t love you?” you inquire.
he smirks, “no, that’s different. you’re obviously infatuated by me.”
“no, loving you is an effect of you loving me, so according to you,” you turn your back to him, “I don’t love you.”
he is about to retort when he feels something holding onto his leg. he looks down, and he sees his daughter beaming up at him.
she raises the flowers as high as she could and chirps, “dad, I got these flowers!”
sukuna’s eyes snap to where the kid was and finds no one. he fled, and he didn’t get to memorize his face. he slowly turns his face to you, and you stand there smirking at him.
he quirks an eyebrow at you, “oh? well, I will deal with you later tonight.”
GETO SUGURU:
you were busy watching over your daughter playing with her playdate. the little boy was your neighbour’s son, and, in general, he was good company.
the boy was polite and knew how to treat your little girl right. similarly, your little girl cherishes him very much and always rambles about him at dinner.
now, initially, suguru was okay with it.
he thought that maybe she was excited about her playdate and that it would eventually wear off, but then she started talking about him every single day since she met him.
suguru prides himself on being rational and collected. he wouldn’t stoop down to a level that gojo would. gojo was a manchild, but suguru? suguru is a grown man, a husband, and a father.
so, no, he won’t do anything to the boy.
and he certainly isn’t rushing to the playdate location, so he can stop the boy from making his daughter talk about him more.
one of his curses was watching the kids, and said curse picked up on the boy sneaking a flower behind his back. suguru concluded that he was definitely going to give it to her.
your husband finally arrives, handing you your ice cream and kissing the top of your head, “your ice cream, just how you like it, love.”
“aww, thank you, suguru,” you say as you hug him and pepper his face with kisses. suguru gets lost in your affection, forgetting about his supposed mission.
it’s not until that he notices the boy’s parents standing with the two kids that he remembers it.
“how about we go and see what the kids are up to?” he asks you, a bit urgently, and you nod, knowing what your husband is thinking.
it’s lowkey funny.
the boy’s mother takes notice of you two approaching, “oh hello mr and mrs geto!”
“hello miss c/n! are the kids getting along well?” you smile while patting your daughter’s head.
the mother giggles, “more than well, in fact. our little boy has given little d/n a flower today!”
from the corner of your eye, you can see your husband’s smile tighten and his face get stiffer and stiffer by the second.
you take his hand into your own and slowly rub it with your thumb. it does little to calm him down.
he claps his hand lightly and steps in front of the parents and says kindly, “please take your little shi—”
he feels you kick his foot from the back and quickly corrects his wording, “please distance your ki—”
you discreetly stomp on his foot, and he tries his hardest to keep his smile. he sighs defeated and hangs his head low, defeated as he mumbles, “have a nice day.”
you nod in satisfaction, and your daughter giggles.
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do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported
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I Remember Everything - Rafe Cameron (Chapter 2)
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Summary: You left the island two years ago, leaving the love of your life a shattered man in your wake. Now, when you return, you find the sweet boy you once loved has transformed into a monster of a man. How can you detangle the real Rafe from the terrible things he's done?
Timeline: begins toward the end of obx season 3 and is mostly canon.
Content: this story contains sexual content, alcohol and drug abuse, and brief mentions of violence. All chapters are 18+, minors do not interact!
(Prologue and Chapter 1)
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You tried to close the door quietly behind you, wincing everytime it creaked, but as you tiptoed through the foyer into the living room you quickly realized your stealth was of no use. Your mother sat in her chair in the corner of the room, flipping the page on whatever cheesy self-help book she was worshiping today. She looked up at you and then to the oversized clock on the wall pointedly.
“Really? Sitting up under a single lamp light?” You rolled your eyes. “What are you gonna say next, ‘where have you been young lady?’”
“Actually, I was just going to ask if you had a good night,” she said in her all-too-familiar-guilt-trip tone. “But since I’m apparently such a stereotype, maybe I should ask where you’ve been. I’ll be the overbearing mother you’ve made up in your head.”
You just sighed. “I’m not doing this with you, goodnight mom.”
“Don’t forget we’re having dinner at the island club tomorrow night!” She called after you. “Just you, me, and Chip.”
You winced. “I don’t know if the Island Club is really my vibe anymore, mom.”
“Y/N,” your mother said in warning. “The other 51 weeks of the year, you are welcome to walk around like you’re better than all of us. But this week is my week and I want to have dinner at the Island Club with my daughter and my fiancé.”
In your twenty years on earth, you’d had approximately one million fights with your mother. You were wise enough by now to know which ones you were going to lose.
You sighed in defeat, “Alright mom, I’ll be there.”
Like she said, it was just one week and then you could get the hell out of here. Thinking of the night you just had with a pang of sadness, you thought, this time maybe for good.
Two Years Ago…
“Happy birthday, baby,” Rafe said, beaming.
“Rafe what did you do?” You asked.
“Got you something,” he shrugged, his casual tone betrayed by the big, bright smile on his face, his dimples on full display. He looked so excited it made your heart swell.
“You got me a car?” You said in disbelief.
“Not just a car, your dream car!” He extended his long arms, displaying the vehicle like a Price-is-Right model.
“You actually bought me a car?” You said quietly, shaking your head in awe.
“Do you like it?” He asked, now wringing his hands nervously. His sudden timidness made you weak, wanting to hold him in his vulnerability.
“Baby,” you said quietly before suddenly breaking out in a run toward him, leaping into his arms. Even in his surprise, he caught you, like he always did. 
You tucked your head into the crook of his neck as your arms and legs wrapped around him. He held you back so tightly, you thought he might never let go. 
“I love it,” you mumbled into his skin. “You have no idea.”
He pulled his head back to get a look at you. You had tears in your eyes as you beamed back at him.
“I love you,” you said before dropping a gentle kiss to his lips.
“You have no idea,” he said, before kissing you back harder. 
The kiss turned more passionate as he started walking the two of you toward the car, removing one hand from you to open the door to the back seat. He lowered you in slowly, both of you laughing into the kiss. You scooted backward to the other side of the back seat, pulling your legs to your chest to make room for him. For a moment, he just stood in the open door, taking you in. You giggled nervously under his hungry gaze.
“You gonna join me?” You asked, taunting him with the low, sexy voice you knew made him crazy.
“Just wanna look at you for a sec,” he explained. “Wanna remember.”
You leaned forward and started to crawl towards him, hands and knees sinking into the soft leather seat. 
“You have your whole life to look at me, baby,” you assured him. 
Once you were close enough to him, you stretched your neck forward and kissed him again, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him into the car with you. He gladly obliged and shut the door behind him. Once he was settled, you threw your leg over him and climbed in his lap, arms outstretched past either side of his head to hold onto the seat back behind him. 
“You're not gonna hit the road in the middle of the night and leave me here now that you’ve got your own ride?” He asked, close enough to your lips that you could feel his breath sweep across them as he talked.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you promised. “Unless you’re in the seat right next to me.”
You leaned in to kiss him again, but he pulled back before your lips met. You furrowed your brows in confusion.
“I got you another gift,” Rafe said.
“Rafe,” you said, “you already got me a car. I don't know what could possibly top that.”
Removing one of his hands from your hips, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a little black box.
“Open it and find out,” he held the box out to you.
With wide eyes, you took what was clearly a jewelry box from him and opened it slowly. Rafe reached up to turn on the car light so you could better see what was inside. It was a dainty gold ring, twisting around itself to make a small knot right in the middle. It was simple, but so beautiful.
“It’s a promise ring,” he explained.
You watched him watching you, realizing he was nervous, afraid you were about to reject his gesture. You could tell by the look on his face that he had more he was struggling to say, so you silently reached out your hand and placed it on his cheek, letting him know you were listening, that he was safe.
He nuzzled his head into your soft hand and closed his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. After a moment, he opened them into yours and took a deep breath.
“You are…everything,” he said, eyebrows knit together in sincerity. As if he could somehow look at you hard enough to make you understand. “I don’t care what our parents say, or what all the people on this fucking island say, you are it for me, y/n. I will love you forever. Even if they cut us off, if we have no money and have to live out of the back of this car, I don’t care, I want you. Forever.”
He searched your face for any sign that you’d reject him, or laugh at his earnest desperation. You’d never treated him like that before, but he had been raised to believe that vulnerability was weakness, and even with all the loyalty you’ve shown him, he couldn’t fight the thought that when he told you what he was really feeling, you’d shoot him down.
Instead, you simply said, “Well, am I going to have to put it on myself?”
He laughed, relief spreading through his chest. He took the box from you and removed the ring, slipping it on your left ring finger before placing a kiss over it.
You grabbed his face with both hands and looked at him hard, praying he’d believe you when you swore, “I will love you forever, Rafe Cameron.”
His lower lip flinched slightly as he fought back the tears he could feel springing up. He kissed you quick, hoping you didn’t notice. You did notice, but you kissed him back to take his mind off of it, knowing how much he hates crying in front of people. You slid your hands back to tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging gently in appreciation as he moved his lips to your neck. 
“Don’t leave any marks,” you whined. “My mom…”
“You’re 18 now, baby, she can’t do shit,” he mumbled before going back to sucking on the tender spot at the base of your neck. 
“Yeah, except stop feeding me and kick me out of the house,” you protested, though not exactly pushing him away.
“Like I said, we’ll just live in this car,” he joked. 
“Or,” you said, pulling back from him to separate his lips from your skin before it could change color, “you could leave your mark somewhere she can’t see.”
With those words, you lifted your shirt over your head. Rafe watched hungrily, your words and movements making him grow harder than he already was. You smirked as you pressed down on him, making him hiss. Eyes locked to his, you reached back to unclasped your bra, letting the straps slide away as you revealed yourself to him slowly.
“Fuck,” he whispered as he took you in. He’d seen you naked countless times now, but the way he always looked at you like it was the very first time was the hottest thing in the world to you. 
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” With those words, he sunk his head down and started pressing gentle kisses to the top of your breasts. 
“I love when you talk to me like that, baby,” you gasp and arch your back as he captures the sensitive skin just above your nipple between his lips and starts sucking, taking you up on your suggestion to mark you somewhere no one will see. 
 You grab the back of his neck for stability, lightly letting your painted nails sink into his skin, the blissful pain of it making his hips buck up into yours. You moan as his length presses perfectly against your clit. You’re so wet you wonder if it's soaked through to his jeans yet.
“You like this?” He asked before releasing his lips and sinking into a spot on your other breast to add to the masterpiece he was leaving on your skin.
“I love it,” You answered.
“It’s your day, baby, just wanna make you feel good,” he told you.
“You always make me feel good,” you whimpered as you continued to writhe on him.
He pulled his mouth from you suddenly and moved his hands to your ass, holding you up so you couldn’t push down on him anymore. You pouted slightly, and he smirked at your neediness. 
“Today’s all about you,” he said. He moved you off of him and laid you down on the seat, kneeling so he could hover over you. He caged you in with an arm at either side of your head. You twisted your neck to look at his arm, admiring the veins that ran up the side, committing the sight to memory. You loved everything about your boyfriend’s body, but something about his arms really drove you wild. Impulsively, you leaned over and placed a kiss on the inside of his forearm, loving how soft his skin was. 
The gentleness of the moment made his skin break out in goosebumps and he looked down at you with hearts in his eyes. The only thing in the world he wanted at that moment was to make you feel how in love with you he is, so he lowered himself between your legs and got to work on your third gift of the day.
Now…
Rafe had two meetings today to sell some of the melted gold, both of which went exactly how he’d hoped. He didn’t understand how the high from the sale could wear off so quickly. So, like most nights, he found himself at the Island Club bar, three bourbons deep. He chuckled to himself, shaking his head at the conversation he just had with Topper about Sarah not answering his calls. 
“What a cuck,” he said to himself under his breath. 
Little did he know that just a few yards away, inside the club dining room, the girl he used to regularly ditch all of his friends for was sitting down to dinner.
You liked Chip just fine, he was a deputy at the sheriff’s department and though you had never been a huge fan of cops, he seemed to genuinely care about helping people. He made your mom happy, and she appears to have worked through some of the anxiety issues she had in your teens, which you were grateful for.
Even though you were tucked in a dark corner of the Island Club dining room, you and your mother still clocked all of the stares from nosy neighbors, wine moms, and kids you grew up with. It was like an Elvis sighting, after the wildfire of rumors that had engulfed the island after your disappearance two years ago. Chip, however, seemed to be none the wiser to your storied past. You didn’t know if your mom had told him all that had happened, and you kind of hoped she wouldn’t. He seemed like a simple guy with a simple view of the world, and you’d appreciate it if your mom would let him stay that way.
Chip was telling a story about one of his coworkers getting their arm stuck in the vending machine, when a commotion from outside the restaurant cut him off.
“I pay just as much as all of you assholes!” A man’s voice bellowed through the open windows.
Your heart froze and you closed your eyes, recognizing the voice immediately. When you looked up, you caught your mother’s glare, she had apparently placed the voice, too. 
A glass shattered, followed by the voice yelling, “take your fucking hands off me, douche bag!”
“I’m just going to…” you set your napkin on the table and pushed your chair back.
“Y/N,” your mother said in warning. “We’re having dinner.”
“I’m just going to make sure everything is okay,” you said, hoping she didn’t realize that you were trying to convince yourself you had a reason to go out there just as much as you were trying to convince her. 
“You’re not here for him,” she said. “You’re supposed to be here for me, for your family.”
Chip’s eyes darted quickly back and forth between you and your mother, totally lost. The two of you gave each other a look that clearly had years of history behind it, and he decided he might want to just stay in the dark.
“I’ll be right back,” you said definitively, standing from the table. Your mother sipped her wine bitterly as she watched you go.
You made your way out onto the patio, following the booming of Rafe’s voice over to the bar. He was face-to-face with another member, a middle aged man who was jabbing his finger into Rafe’s chest as he yelled at him.
“Everyone here is just trying to have a nice evening and you’re over here running your mouth,” the man spat.
Rafe shoved the man’s hand away from him and looked to the much younger woman who was standing behind him.
“I’m sorry for ruining your date with grandpa here, sweetheart,” he joked loudly. “If you ever want to be with a guy who can get it up without a truckload of Viagra, you give me a call, gorgeous.”
The man shoved Rafe and he stumbled backward, laughing, clearly drunk.
“Woah there cowboy,” Rafe chuckled. “We wouldn’t want to make a scene, now would we?”
He was being smug, dripping with arrogance, and it was making you sick. You couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. You thought this time you’d be able to confront him, try to understand why he was treating people like this, but the twist of your stomach forced you away from the scene as you fled from the patio towards the beach.
Rafe was about ready to cock his fist back, too drunk to care about escalating the situation further, when he saw it again - a flash of long hair and a flowing skirt disappearing from view. He suddenly felt completely sober. He patted the guy on the back and threw back the last of his drink before following the mysterious figure down to the beach. 
You stood at the edge of the water, doubled over with your heels in your hand, trying desperately to catch your breath. Maybe your mother was right, maybe you should just keep your head down and act like the only thing that matters to you on this island is her wedding. But both of you knew that wasn’t true, that it could never be true, not when he’s here. Not when something has clearly changed him, and you can’t sleep at night not knowing what horrible thing could’ve happened to make him behave this way. Just because you buried your love for him, didn’t mean the ghost of it had stopped haunting you.
You composed yourself and decided to go back to dinner. You’d fake your way through the rest of the week. You’d lie low, send your mother on her honeymoon, and finally get off this island for good. But when you turned back toward the club, he was there. Standing ten-feet away, just watching you.
“It is you,” he whispered, the wind knocked out of him from the shock of seeing your face in the moonlight.
“Hi, Rafe,” you say, but it doesn’t come out in the confident, casual way you had practiced for the last two years, preparing for the moment you’d inevitably see him again. Instead it’s meek, shaking with your unstable breath.
“What are you…” Rafe is speechless. For just a moment, he’s that soft, insecure boy you used to know. The boy you loved, who loved you desperately in return. He must catch the faint smile you can’t hold back, because his mouth slams shut and his jaw clenches. His wide eyes become steeley again as his shield flies back up.
“What are you doing here?” He practically spits.
“My mom is getting married,” you say, no smile gracing your lips anymore. “I thought you would’ve heard.”
“Been busy,” he shrugs. “Believe it or not I have actual shit going on.”
You chuckle humorlessly, “I can tell.”
“The fuck’s that ‘sposed to mean?” He takes an angry step towards you.
“Just the way you were talking back there, and at your party the other night,” you say. “Looks like you’re the big man now.”
It was you at the party. Rafe shakes his head in disgust, this is the final confirmation he needed to make-up his mind about whether he’s pissed at you. He’d prepared for this moment too, not sure if when he saw you again, he’d want to kiss you or kill you. Right now he was leaning toward the latter.
“Yeah, maybe I am,” Rafe says. “Now that I don’t have all of you holding me back.”
There’s a flash of something you can’t quite place in his eyes. For just a moment, he’s not here, like he’s losing a battle to stay in the moment. You wonder what kind of demons are roaring in his mind. You wish you didn’t want so desperately to exorcise them.
“All of us?” You repeat his words back to him, wondering who else joins you in the club of people Rafe Cameron now hates. You look him up and down with soft, sad eyes. 
“What happened to you, Rafe?”
“I don’t have to fucking explain myself to you, Y/N,” your name shoots off his tongue like a bullet, nothing like the way he used to coo it in worship when he held you, or moan it in awe when he was inside of you. “Why don’t you just fuck off back to wherever you’ve been. You don’t belong here anymore.”
You just look at him, head tilted as your narrow eyes size him up in a way that makes him feel like an exposed nerve. You know the second you get home tonight, the tears will come, but right now you put on a stoic demeanor to match his own. This was the opposite of the reunion you had dreamed of. You thought you’d be back in the arms of the person who knew you better than anyone in the world, but instead you stand face-to-face with a total stranger.
You start to walk back up the beach in his direction, noticing the way his Adam's apple bobs as you get closer to him. Once you’re next to him, you look up into the blue eyes that you used to imagine your kids would have someday. So many things you’d wanted to say, hundreds of letters never sent, millions of tiny memories you’d hold onto forever, but now, with his frame looming over you, all you could think to say was,
“I hate your hair.”
And for the third time this week, he stood breathless as he watched you disappear.
(chapter 3)
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a/n: THANK YOU so much for all the support on chapter one, I am actually blown away I did not think so many people would enjoy my words!! Special thank you to bestie @nadvs for all the inspo and advice!!! 🫶🫶🫶
taglist: @maybankslover @dark1paradise @lmg-stilinski24 @idkdudsworld @mimipanini09 @patis643 @readingsmuts
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utterlyotterlyx · 2 days
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In This Shirt
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Azriel x Rhys!Sister!Reader
Summary - It had been a distant dream, to reunite with your mate, but you never believed you'd live long enough to experience it.
Warnings - angst, depression, trauma, swearing, fluff,
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Like it had happened yesterday, Azriel could remember the moment he had found out that you, his beautiful perfect mate, and the Princess of Velaris, had been trapped Under The Mountain.
It had been Cassian who had told him, he was the only one strong enough to battle against Azriel's fury and be able to walk away from it. His eyes had been brimming with anguish but Azriel already knew, he felt that last rush of love flow through his body like a current before it vanished, leaving him cold and broken.
Cassian didn't even need to utter the words.
Y/N is gone. So is Rhys. They've been taken Under The Mountain. Amarantha has them.
Every day that passed made his world feel heavy, and dark. Azriel had forgotten the sound of your voice one day, and it had tore his heart straight from his chest. He knew that your voice was melodic, he often likened it to that of a sirens song, pretty and serene.
The fight to get to where you were, mated, married, was long and turbulent on its own. Rhys had refused to accept it, he was furious with Azriel for it. You were his youngest sister, the light of his life, and he knew Azriel would never hurt you, he had always doted on you, he never let you do anything by yourself, but your older brother had certainly struggled with the news.
Rhys had gone as far as to ban Azriel from being near you and sent you away to reside in the Day Court for a couple of months, truly believing that the distance would make you both see that a path together was not one to be walked. In actuality, the distance had almost killed you, the land spanning between you and your mate had settled so deep within your soul that you had become very ill.
Never wanting it to go so badly, but always feeling the need to protect you, Rhys saw the error of his ways and brought Azriel to you, and watched as you cried as the colour returned to your cheeks whilst Azriel held you in his arms.
From that moment on, Rhys had been your biggest supporter, and he had cried like a baby when he saw you in your wedding dress, telling you how much your mother and sister would have loved to see you looking so perfect.
The Light of Velaris had vanished that night, you and Rhys had both sacrificed yourself to Amarantha to protect your court, your home, and it was because of that fact alone that Azriel couldn't tear at the foundations of the fortress beneath the mountain to get you out.
It was rare to get a smile out of him, or anything notable really, but Cassian had been the one to find him that evening, when the stars were hurtling across the blank canvas of the night sky, crying on his knees in your shared bedroom. One of your dresses was furled between his fingers, his shadows coiled around the velvet of the skirt, breathing you in and wishing you were there with them, "I can't remember the sound of her voice," his voice was hoarse, like it was the first time he had spoken in years, which it had been, all he emitted were huffs and grunts, but no words.
Cassian had stepped into the room, the room that had become darker since you had left, just like the rest of the family home. Just like Velaris. Shirts and dresses were strewn about the room, some on the floor, some splayed across the bed, as if Azriel had sifted through your closet to find the thing that held the strongest scent of you, of nightfall and starlight, of the faint salted oceans and warm sand.
"Az," Cassian fell to his knees. pulling his brother into his side and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Azriel had let his wings drop to the floor, he didn't bother holding them up anymore. "It's going to be alright. She's strong, they both are, they'll come back. She'd never leave you forever, you have a bargain to fulfil."
Azriel glanced to the bargain inking his forearm, a symphony of shadow and stars, holding one another like lovers in the night.
Then your wings came.
Your beautiful wings of midnight purple, so dark in their hue that many would think they were black, with the thick onyx membrane that Azriel always used to run his fingers along and smirk at your shivers, were gone. Packaged up with a blood red bow and dropped onto the table.
Azriel couldn't think about it. All he could do was pray to the Mother that you had at least been unconscious as they were taken from you. Part of him expected Rhys' to follow, but then the stories came, stories of Amarantha's whore and his ill-tempered sister who fought so hard that she was rid of the only things that gave her identity as punishment.
The wings were drooped at the tips, curling inward from the pain and torture from being away from their mate for so long. Comparing wingspans was something you did often, you were small compared to Azriel, your wings even smaller, but they were incredible things. Azriel could have sworn on countless occasions that he saw them hum with light whenever you were overcome with love.
The fiftieth year of your absence had crept in, and Azriel had forgotten what your lips tasted like, how the felt against his. There was nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do to bring you home, to him, where you belonged.
Until someone did.
Loud cries awoke him that night, he sat upright, the shirt you usually wore to bed nestled against his chest, the ever-faint aroma of you clinging to it like the last snow before spring. Frowning, Azriel shifted from the bed. He knew that voice, he knew that low rumbling power, and when he looked out of the window, his heart stopped.
Rhys was on his knees, bundled up into Mor's arms as he cried, but Azriel couldn't listen, he couldn't listen to the pain in his brothers voice, he couldn't stop himself from bursting from the room and running down the staircase.
His mind was blinded by hope and love and the mere possibility that you might have made it back too, "Where is my wife?"
Rhys rose to his feet, looking around the space as if he would find you not standing too far away, and frowning when he saw that you had vanished, "She was just here," Azriel could have crumbled at the words.
She was just here.
You were back. You had come back to him.
Rhys went to speak again but Azriel was already gone, he scoured the house top to bottom, checking every room and hallway, he went to the library, hoping to see you curled up in your spot like you had never left and the last fifty years had been nothing but a putrid nightmare.
Azriel's heart ached, he reached deep within him, deep into a place he couldn't bring himself to graze, and tugged.
Once. Twice.
The gates opened.
Azriel saw the golden thread pour from his chest, he saw it hum like a pulse as it stretched out and slithered around the corner, and his shadows danced outward to meet it, to wrap around the golden threat leading him to you, peering backward as if telling him to go.
Your mate, your husband, followed that thread, he followed it up the staircase and down the halls, breezing past the portraits hanging on the wall until he stood before the closed door of the bedroom. Azriel reached out a hand that was trembling and twisted the doorknob, softly pushing it open to reveal you.
Weight had dropped from you, and your posture was shrouded with fear as it hunched inward, your hugged yourself as your head surveyed the space. Then he saw the scars, the marred flesh poking from the back of the dress that hung from your body, a humiliation to everything you stood for, and his eyes landed on the rings of scarred flesh around your wrists and ankles, some still angry and red and peeling.
What had she done to you?
Shuddering, you turned around, stopping in your tracks at the male in the doorway being kissed by the moonlight pouring in from the thin slits of the curtains.
He was as beautiful as you remembered, hazel eyes that you had dreamt of nightly to allow you to hold onto some hope, the sharp jaw and cheekbones that you imagined your fingers brushing against, his lips that would often call out to you, not like you remembered the sound of his voice.
"Az?"
His breathing hitched and became shaky, you knew he was doing his best to not be overcome with emotion, not when you had every reason to cry and fall apart, "Say it again."
A soft sob broke through your lips at the sound, so low and hoarse, raw, but still teeming with warmth and beauty, of brighter tomorrows.
Say it again.
"Az."
Even in the dark he could see your face crumple and contort, and he rushed to you as you weakly reached for him, not being able to stop the sobs pulling from his chest either.
It was all there. Nightfall. Starlight. Salted oceans. Warm beaches.
Azriel cupped your face in his hands, so delicately, like he was afraid to break you, and tears fell from his eyes. It was you. Glazed orbs of plum peered up at him, your fingers reached to brush his tears away, "Is this some beautiful nightmare?"
Air rushed from his lungs, your eyes were glazed over, almost as if you were in some sort of trance, "No, my angel," his voice was a hush above a whisper, his fingers caressed your cheeks, "This is real."
"I'm home?"
Realisation hit you and your eyes became clear, "You're home."
"I thought I was lost," you placed your hands on his arms, and he watched your tattoo dance in the moonlight, a twin to his own, "I knew I'd find you."
Azriel pulled you in close, he cradled your head against his chest and held you tighter as the weight of the last fifty years crushed you, "My wings," you cried and Azriel's wings pinned themselves backward, dipping themselves from sight, "She took them. How can you love me? How can you see me as anything other than weak?"
Lifting your head to meet his, Azriel's finger trailed the line of your jaw, "You are not weak, my love. Weakness would weep at the mere thought of being associated with you, for they will never get to know what it's like to have courage in the most awful of odds. It would never get to know you, because it is not a part of you and it never will be. I love you, y/n. I have always loved you and always will. I would love you in any form, in any life, in any universe. You are mine. You are my everything. You are the strongest thing I have ever encountered and the most beautiful thing to walk the heavens."
"You would not save your entire court, your family, and your husband, and go through everything you have been through, and lost what you have lost, if you weren't the strongest creature on this planet," Azriel's lips curled downward, uneven breaths fell from his lips, "I forgot the sound of your voice."
In the worst moments of your torture, all you thought of was Azriel and this moment, the moment where it would have all been worth it just to see him healthy and alive, "I forgot yours too."
Azriel sighed, he pressed his forehead against yours and took a moment to just inhale you, to let the ocean breeze pour into his soul and bring him back to life, "Can I hold you?"
Nodding softly, you felt Azriel pull away, he peeled that dress from your body and pulled one of his jumpers over your head. He led you gently over to the bed, placing you down on the side of the mattress which had forgotten the shape of you and pulled you into him.
"I'm sorry for what this has done to you."
It hadn't escaped your eye at all, the curls of onyx under his eyes, the droop of his wings, the worry that clung to him and haunted his every step. It may have been awful Under The Mountain, but you'd never want to be the one waiting for their love to come home. It would destroy you.
Azriel didn't say anything as his fingers raked over your scalp, loosening all the tension in your mind. The scent of cedar and night-kissed mountains flooded you and you nestled into that spot on his chest, reaching behind you to pull his wing over your side and smiling softly at the feeling of it. To have wings.
"I'm home," Azriel just held onto you tighter, moulding your body to the curves of his own, pressing kisses into your hairline and running his fingers through your hair.
Then your breathing fell soft, your eyes had drifted closed, and you looked peaceful, a soft smile lingered on your lips.
Azriel slept better than he ever had that night, knowing that you were back, that you had come home to him, and knowing that no matter where you walked, Azriel would always follow.
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Author's Note
I love himmmmmmmm
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cheriladycl01 · 3 days
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Could you do SMAU for Toto Wolff with wife reader where she is a huge bookworm and he always so supportive about her passion And the Internet has gone crazy about it. Thanks :))
Bookstagram - Toto Wolff x BookwormWife! Reader
Plot: Taking a look through your bookstagram and how supportive Toto Wolff is of your love for reading. Encouraging you to pursue your dream of writing.
Credit to multibabydoll for the GIF
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You loved reading and books. Before you met Toto, you used to be a bookseller and then worked for a publishing house. You actually met Toto because of the influx in Motorsport Romance's that made your company send you to a race to get some ... hands on experience and you ended up having your own sort of Motorsport Romance with a Team Principle.
You ended up marrying Toto and at first it was hard, but when COVID came and you ended up working from home since then so coming to the races had been much easier.
y/user
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Liked by lucyscore laurenroberts and mercedesamgf1
y/user: My reads of the month! Really loved both of these and I can’t wait for book to from Lauren!
Book 1: Things We Hide From The Light by Lucy Score
Book 2: Powerless by Lauren Roberts
Tagged 2 People
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lucyscore: I’m glad you enjoyed this one!
-> y/user: it’s really good!
fan1: i love these!
toto.wolff: Is this the book you were reading on the plane?
-> y/user: Yes, the other one I read at the race track!
laurenroberts: babe! I’m glad you enjoyed! Come to a book signing and I’ll get you a proof of Powerful!
-> y/user: no stop! I’d love that!
DM’s
laurenroberts: Hey Babe, got an event on 29th November, in Florida. You want to come as my special guest?
y/n: id love that! Thank you so much for the invite! I’ll just need to talk to my husband. I’ve never travelled solo and I’m a nervous traveller!
laurenroberts: That’s fine! Just let me know as and when babe!
“Babe, can we talk for a second” you asked your husband as you walk into the kitchen where he is sat with his morning coffee.
"Yes honey what is it?" he asks looking over at you, pushing a glass of orange juice towards you.
"Well, one of the authors that I really like invited me to a book signing.."
"Oh that's amazing sweetheart. Are you going to go?" he says checking his emails not fully paying attention.
"Well, thats the thing. It's over a race weekend... and" you start but his head bolts up to interrupt you.
"You better not be asking for my permission for if you can go, you know you don't have to ask!" he says almost as though he's offended you with think that of him!
"No, no of course not. But I'm scared to go alone, you know how I am!" you explain and he nods remembering the last time you guys flew.
"Well, how about I buy you a nice first class ticket and make the experience worth it. I'll pay for a fancy hotel and a spa evening for when you land ... how does that sound" he grins pulling you into him kissing your forehead.
"You don't have to do that for me!" you exclaim feeling bad!
"Ah no honey, I do this all for you!" he smiles pulling you in for a full kiss.
y/user
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Liked by stephaniegarber and ashleyposton
y/n: What do you guys prefer, Romance or Fantasy. I love finding quiet corners at the race track!
Tagged 8 People
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stephaniegarber: Did you enjoy it?
-> y/user: It was so good! I moved straight onto Legend! And Toto brought me OUABH!
ashleyposton: I see those outlines! Thank you for your review on goodreads!
olivia_blake: ahhhh, i hope you enjoy it!
fan1: Y/N is definielty a motorsport romance girlie considering she literally lived one!
->fan2: i forget about this!
"Baby, you have to stop packing so many books!" Toto laughs as he gets out his card to pay the extra bagging expense where your bags had ended up being overweight.
"I'm so so sorry! I didn't realize how many I'd take back with me, American Books are so much more floppy than the ones at home... even though I prefer our covers!" she answers, going to get her card out.
"I'll pay baby don't be silly!" Toto laughs tapping his card as air port staff come over and help you guys take the bags away.
"You are my little book worm aren't you!" he grins pinching your cheeks like an older lady.
"Stop!" you say swatting his hand away.
y/user
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Liked by toto.wolff and others
y/n: Toto helped me rebuild my book nook AND took me out for a book haul! It's up on my YouTube now!
Link
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sarahjmaas: looks amazing!
toto.wolff: I'm happy to help baby!
-> y/user: BEST HUSBAND.
You and Toto had spend the day putting up the swinging chair, and making the room cozy with fairy lights.
He had started to organize your shelves in colour coordination order making a rainbow. You felt so bad when your need to have them in genre and alphabetical order took over.
"Baby, as incredible as this looks, I'm never going to find any books!" you argued and he looks and pulled out Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros.
"See I found you current smutty dragon book!" he smiles handing it to you and your eyes widen at the lingo he was using.
"Have you been... watching my videos?" you ask in shock.
"Mmmm yes honey. i find them very amusing!" he admits and you just stare at him in shock.
y/user
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Liked by lewishamilton and toto.wolff
y/n: He looks like this so that I can look like this …
I LOVE MY HUSBAND
Tagged One Person
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fan1: shes so unserious ... lmao
fan2: and you look fab!
You were thankful that Toto worked as hard as he did, he treated you all the time and you treated him in return.
Your husband was so supportive and was without a doubt the best thing that had ever happened to you.
Taglist:
@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul l @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount @styl1shl1v
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dunmeshistash · 3 days
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Okay I think I'm ready to write the second part of this post about Milsiril
To make it easier for me I'll just divide this into her relationship with Kabru, Mithrun and Helki (her ex-canary prisoner teammate)
First about Kabru
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This is an extra from the daydream hour 5. The caption says "Something like this might as well have happened" so its probably not canon but could be. I honestly think his reaction to Milsiril visiting and being overbearing says a lot about the type of relantionship they have. This is the fakest bitch in the whole of dungeon meshi, he never says what he trully thinks unless there's an advantage to doing so, he's a people pleaser that does and says anything to make people like/trust him. And yet he immediatly converts into "Mooooooom you're embarassing meeeeee" when he sees it's Milsiril.
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This translation used "Mom" but as I understand the original he uses the more formal version so I think it would be closer to "Mother" but still he acknowleges her as his Mother, and he acts like her kid in every interaction we see between them.
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I really don't understand where the idea that he learned to be fake from being "forced" to be her adoptive son comes from.
(Continuing under a cut)
The other interaction we see between them is the Kabru extra from the Adventurer's Bible
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Kabru comes to her with a deep fear he clearly has had even before she adopted him, he trusted her with this fear and she did not disappoint him, she comforted him and then gave him the information he needed to believe what she was saying
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I'd also like to point out in no moment she discouraged him from calling his his bio-mom "Mom". He also says she taught her children everything they asked
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I doubt this would only be true for him, it also mirrors something she said in the manga
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"You can go ahead and learn all you want about something else." I believe it when Kabru says she made every effort to answer her children's questions. I think this is also the way she expresses the love she has for them. Plus I love the thought bubble with Kabru mirroring what he learned from her. I also love this daydream hour, she sacrifices her own comfort to do something for Kabru.
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Milsiril isn't a perfect mother tho, besides the fact she is overprotective she comes from a very different culture from her children. I like to call her Kabru's white mom cause I think that would be the real world equivalent. This extra is the one I think the most about showing this context perfectly
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Kabru wants to share Utaya sweets but looks at his mom looking gloomy/rejected so he talks about fruitcake instead. This very rude for Milsiril to do since she's kinda trying to overwrite his actual cultural background, but I think its done more as a "I want you to like the things I like" rather than something nefarious, and once again Kabru doesn't hide at all his distaste for it, he does the bare minimum to please his mom since she's being dramatic but he doesn't lie to her, he shows how displeased he is about fruitcake, something he refuses to do when eating the harpy omelette that is way worse, because he must make a good impression for Laios. Kabru is honest with his overbearing white mom once again.
Now a little about Rin, from Kabru's context, this is her extra in the Adventurer's Bible
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(look at Helki he's such a gremlin i love him) anyway, Rin has a trauma about elves, they really mistreated her so she hates them, but when they notice she isn't thriving they go to Milsiril for help (Helki specifically I'll talk more about him next). I think this indicates she really has a better understanding of short lived kids, her kids are thriving differently from the ones the other elves try to care for. I'd also like to remember she lives secluded from other elves so while Kabru probably had lots of interactions with elves during his life, most of it was probably spent with Milsiril and her other adoptive kids. She also asks Kabru if he would do this to help Rin, he isn't being forced or anything, I also think it's good that Milsiril knows she cant take in any more kids, this to me shows she's worried about the quality of life her kids have. That is all to say, Rin is the one with elf trauma, not Kabru, because Kabru had Milsiril to shelter him from them.
Helki
This will be short and sweet since there's barely anything about Helki, he's her prisioner companion from her time in the canaries, but he was pardoned after Utaya, it says so in the Canarie's Structure page in the new adventurer's guide but I cant really find it translated again... so here's google's machine translation (I remember it saying "Retired and pardoned as a reward after Utaya", something like that)
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so officially he isn't a prisoner anymore, but I think he still works as a canary, even so he and Milsiril seem quite close, he is the one to go talk to her about Rin, He is there when she's training Kabru (both laughing at Kabru and then participating). I saw people theorizing she stays close to him because he is also someone who she can feel superior to, but I don't believe it at all, he's STILL in contact with her even after they have nothing to with each other, I think they really have a friendship, and there's no point where it seems like she feels like she's better than him or that he's less than her, people seem to interpret Milsiril and her relationships in the worst possible ways every time and I don't understand why.
This segways into Mithrun
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I've also seen people assuming she only got close to Mithrun because now he needs her and has no power over her, once again with the theory that Milsiril surrounds herself with people she can feel superior to. But once again, Milsiril had a change of perspective about Mithrun after seeing his Dungeon
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Rather than she feeling superior to him I think rather she realized he was just like her. (And I think she's friends with Helki for a similar reason, it's probably easier to see him as an equal than other nobles)
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I've also seen this part used as proof of that. "He said that you've got suspicious ulterior motives and that I shouldn't listen to you" as if that's true, but this is past Mithrun, the one that didn't trust anyone and thought ill of all his teammates, ofc he doesn't believe someone would help him without an ulterior motive. This doesn't prove much about her real motivations.
Also before she showed up, Mithrun was being cared for by servants hired by his brother, he isn't someone helpless she has power over, he is still a member of an important Noble family that has a caring brother providing for him, he can do without Milsiril, he had done without her for 20 years before Utaya happened and she quit the Canaries.
This is all to say I think Milsiril is just a white(elf) adoptive mom doing her best, I don't see much of anything nefarious about her or her motivations, she is flawed as all the dunmeshi characters are, she isn't a perfect mom, she isn't an evil mom, she's just a person.
Elves in general also see short lived species as "children" so I imagine this makes her "You'll always be my baby" attitude way worse, she really treats pre-teen/teen Kabru like he's a toddler sometimes. But she also respected him enough to go all out in training him. I think they're a family with everything that entails.
PS: I didn't get much into Interracial adoption since this is something that happens irl too and I don't know much about all the issues that entails, but in the end, in this case, it seems like a net positive for the kids she adopts considering all we see about how she raised Kabru.
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sizzleissues · 3 days
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Its May.
Okay so this is in the same AU I had last year its just changed and evolved while also being the exact same. Except now I have 15,000 words of it written, like 7,000 words of planning and lore and hours upon hours of research that I will be pointedly ignoring. Will be posting more stuff this month about the AU and my hopes and dreams for it
Also slight art improvement check? I’ll put their original mermaid designs below the cut.
It’s Marinette as a mermaid and … its not Adrien or Chat Noir but a third worse thing (Catwalker but in the purest manifestation of it being a curse and not who he wants to be) I will be making designs for mer!Ladybug, and mer!Adrien as its own thing later on.
Okay if you want to indulge me look below the cut
Old mermaid designs first. I am going to be talking about my design thoughts, thoughts and ramblings about this AU and what I’ve been up to. You have been warned
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As you can see, some things have changed but neither design I hated, I just wanted to go further with it.
My brain is quite specific about mermaids and how I want them to generally look. I wanted to distinguish biological merfolk from transformed humans by having them being anatomically different. So Adrien has a vertical tail instead which is also way faster underwater. His transformation is quite distressing for him and very chaotic. Of course when he accepts it he’s not so raggedy.
Marinette similarly avoids her life as a mermaid by becoming human and I wanted her mermaid design to hint toward her fascination with humans. She wears a top she fashioned from human fabric she found in a sunken merchant vessel. In general all other merfolk either forgo clothes or wear things fashioned from materials available to them. There’s deep fear of humans and human things so even though human clothes are available to them (off dead bodies but…. Whatever) they choose to difference themselves as much as possible. The same taboos don’t exist for them and their bodies are already adapted from the temperature of their environment. Adrien has stray bits of netting and seaweed on him because he’s not exactly the best at controlling his speed and often crash’s through fishing nets and patches of seaweed resulting in stuff being caught on him.
A lot of their designs are still being worked but I’ve definitely pushed them the right direction!
On to the AU. You might have seem me cryptically talk about something I’m writing the past few weeks. This is because it’s been in my brain since last May and been on and off writing it since then. I decided I’d talk about it once May came back around but and then when I finished writing it, start posting sneak peaks and more spoilery art until it was fully edited and I felt confident in it to post with an aim for it to finish posting once May rolled around again. Oh god.
It’s set in the late 1700s in a fictional version of France that’s actually fragmented over a bunch of islands. I have done more fashion research than I ever thought I’d do and in the end we will still be taking creative license but know I do know what they actually wore! I ALSO did a butt tonne of research about sailing ships and turns out they are super complicated and now I know too much and yet too little still about them. It should be super fun and action packed if I can manage. Have some really good scenes already in my head I know you’ll love. We’re already three ships battle deep and I’ve only written four chapters. (It chills out for a bit after that)
This is entirely self-indulgent by the way. I’m writing this for me, you guys are just a bonus. I literally don’t care as long as it satiates my rabid need for the fic that only lives in my brain at the moment. Saying that, I do want to put my best foot forward.
The next thing I will be posting for this is their human forms and more blabblerings about that. For I am insane and all.
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sunderwight · 1 day
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Imagining a scenario where Shen Qingqiu clocks some of the lingering tension between the peak lords and Luo Binghe after they get married, and so looks up what all the rights & privileges of a peak lord's spouse are (because really only the ascetic peak has restrictions against marriage), and then just like. Heaps them onto Binghe.
Fine robes and ornaments in Qing Jing's style. A title. Appropriate authority over Shen Qingqiu's disciples and junior sect siblings. Technically Binghe is also entitled to use of his own residence, and there's a building on the peak that is at least nominally reserved for the peak lord's wife, but it hasn't been used in a long time and Binghe would cry if Shen Qingqiu even suggested living in separate buildings (and Shen Qingqiu would also not like it but shhh). So he doesn't get that, exactly, but Shen Qingqiu does have the building freshened up and aired out as a place where Binghe can house guests from the demon realms, or potentially his own personal disciples (should he desire to take any on one day).
Binghe accompanies Shen Qingqiu to peak lord meetings in his capacity as husband, rather than disciple, which means Binghe also gets to sit at the table instead of standing behind Shen Qingqiu's seat.
But really just, Shen Qingqiu making a point of doing everything extremely officially to really drive home that he married Binghe, and he expects Binghe to be treated with respect and not suspicion or derision or any of the other bad habits that his fellow peak lords have displayed. Not just with Binghe, but also towards the original goods in the past (SJ might have been a piece of work, but the fact also remains that most of what his sect siblings thought of him was inaccurate). SQQ scraping up every bit of political acumen he can find from all the books he read and PIDW itself and his own history as the son of a wealthy family, and being like, "if I don't want Binghe to be bullied, I must make it clear that he has my favor!"
Meanwhile everyone already knows Luo Binghe is Shen Qingqiu's favorite, like man they know it so much already, more than they'd like to, but it's not like they can SAY anything because actually putting the right hair ornament onto Luo Binghe's head and making the disciples address him as Shimu is in fact more appropriate than all the other ways Shen Qingqiu displayed his favoritism so far. It's just driving several of the other peak lords slowly insane because it's backwards! The order of things is all messed up! Shen Qingqiu can't truly expect them to start respecting this disgraceful mess of a relationship now, can he?!
Of course he can. Also Yue Qingyuan is backing him up. (Yue Qingyuan actually finds this kind of amusing, because it's very on-brand for both versions of Shen Qingqiu to get embroiled in a controversial mess only to retroactively go "oh yeah, respectability politics are a thing" and then just try and brazenly bluff his way through it.)
Meanwhile Binghe is very much enjoying himself. Could he stop anyone in the sect from actually mistreating him in a heartbeat? Of course. He could kill any of them, they all know it, and Binghe is not unaware of how to leverage that kind of fear into compliance, if not respect. But then he'd have to go stalking around being tyrannical all the time, and he does that enough as the demon emperor.
It's far more enriching to let people be rude to him and then hang his head and "nobly endure" the mistreatment, just to watch Shen Qingqiu's eyes narrow and his fan snap shut before he lets out some cutting remark and then lavishes another sign of his favor onto Luo Binghe. Binghe's wildest teenage fantasies were made of this stuff! He's living the dream!
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theodore nott nsfw headcannons!!
nsfw 18+, minors dni (or do i cant stop yall)
warnings: implied sex, oral sex (both receiving), hair pulling, choking, dirty talk, p in v, praising and degrading, slight begging, possible more (pls tell me if i missed anything)
side note: italics are like flashback typa things idk what to call them lol
a/n: i was bad grammar and i make a lot of typos, i proofread it but if you find anything i’m sorry, it’s like 12 am rn and i can’t sleep lol also bare with me and the translations i used google.
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he LOVES giving you neck kisses, and leaving hickeys all over you, he wants everybody to know your his.
this man is a pussy eating god, not only does he live eating you out, he’s absurdly good at it, he loves the way he has to push your thighs back open when ever he lets out a throaty moan, sending vibrations right through your core.
he is horny 24/7 his sex drive is actually crazy, he go for rounds. he loves it when you start getting overstimulated. “please theo, i can’t,“ you whine, legs closing around his waist. “shh, it’s okay amore mio, just one more for me” he coos as he thrusts into you, his cock hitting your cervix making you let out a string of whimpers and moans. “fuck, quei gemiti sono così sexy, tesoro” (translation: those moans are so sexy, baby)
whenever he is giving or receiving head, there is always a common factor. hair pulling. whether it’s the way you tug and pull on his hair while he eats you out makes him go absolutely feral or if it’s the way he grips your hair, thrusting up into your mouth as he moans, either way he loves it.
he is 1000% a tits man. god he loves your boobs so fucking much. he loves touching them, squeezing them, anything, whether you’re fucking or even just cuddling (really doesn’t seem like a theo thing but he just loves being close to you and touching you)
he likes being rough, especially after losing a quidditch match or when someone flirts with you. he’s extremely jealous and he knows it. he loves hearing the way you beg him to let you cum. “please, theo, i’m gonna- fuck” you moan, your hips bucking up. you expected him to push them back down but he doesn’t, he just smiles smugly down at you “c’mon good girl, cum for me”
even if you weren’t together yet you were still his.
he has a thing for hickeys, he just loves the way you look with hickeys littering your neck and collarbones, leading down towards your chest. he thinks you look absolutely amazing with his hand wrapped around your neck, as he fucks you senselessly.
he definitely has a hair pulling kink.
he loves it when you call him teddy, it drives him fucking crazy.
he loves praising you and letting you know how much pleasure you bring him but on that note he also liked degrading, but he mostly degrades when he’d being rougher.
whenever he’s being rough with you and choking you he is always super gentle, making sure you can still breath, and that your okay.
——————————————————————————
sorry it’s so short, i’m at school rn lol and i don’t want my ohine to get taken lol
— juelz.
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lady-raziel · 1 day
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yeah fuck it i'm not done with my fanfic rant. it's very very clear that many of the people out there saying 'i don't read fanfic because its not canon and its poorly written'...have never really, truly spent the time to interact with fanfiction. it's kind of like they heard all the bad criticisms of fan writing, and just assumed they were true and never bothered to check for themselves.
yes, there are fanfics that are poorly written. yes, there are fanfics that are just porn. yes, there are even fanfics that are alternate universes of canon that may even have OOC characterizations. all of these things are true, and pretty much every fanfic enjoyer will agree with you.
but the point of fanfiction. the whole point is that you have to search around and find what you like. because for some reason, canon isn't doing it for you. or you just want to know what someone else's interpretation of how things could have happened is!
there are brilliant fanfictions. there are truly amazing, incredibly written fanfictions that take the good parts of a story and make them better. there are fanfictions better than actual published works that are better plotted out and researched than anything canon has to offer. but you have to FIND these fanfics, whether through recs or by searching yourself.
the people who say all fanfic is bad and poorly written seem to live with the expectation that good media will simply be handed to them and they can consume it unquestioningly. regardless of the slew of bad books, shows, and movies that exist and are thrown at us on a daily basis. would you really go so far as to say 'all tv shows have poor writing' because it took trying to watch several bad shows in your streaming recommendations to find one you liked? or do you really, honestly think that because something was made with profit in mind it inherently has better quality and more value than something made out of passion?
fanfic haters, find the love in your heart to engage with media you love outside of the context of it being sold to you. you may even find a gem among the coal that makes you love the original property even more.
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ponderingmoonlight · 3 days
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Hello Carina! I absolutely ADORE your works I'm hooked Was wondering if you could do Geto/Nanami/Gojo/Sukuna x fem reader who grew up in a toxic household that encouraged bad eating habits like eating extremely small amounts and tried to always make her a good and docile wife. But she left them and is now pretty successful but her eating habits are still pretty bad Please stay hydrated this summer!
A lot of you guys request stuff like bad heating habits from me and I'm actually a little scared that I receive a shit storm for writing these sensitive topics, but there you go! I decided on Geto since he is the sweetest boy ever but if this goes well and some of you guys show interest, I might write something similar for the other characters as well - enjoy <3
Geto encouraging his girlfriend to eat more after growing up in a toxic household
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Pairing: Geto x fem!reader
Word Count: 1,6k
Synopsis: After your toxic parents tried to force you into their picture of a thin and docile wife, you left them as soon as possible and became the best version of yourself - if it wasn't for your bad eating habits still haunting you down when you're out with your boyfriend. Until he decides to have a talk with you...
Warnings: Just let me tell you right from the start that there's nothing wrong with being thin and I hope it's obvious that we're talking about an unhealthy connotation in this fic, if you get triggered when it comes to toxic parents and hurtful phrases regarding weight please don't read this. In general, this contains sensitive content and a few pieces of ED and harsh language, but our boy Geto telling us how much he loves us the way we are
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„You know you are totally able to eat more than that, right? We’ve been out without any food for hours now, you need to care for yourself, love.”
Suguru’s hand gently caresses your back while you stare at the salad you just ordered.
“You’re gonna look like a pig soon if you don’t stop eating like one, (y/n). Didn’t I teach you a lady needs to watch her diet?”
“No man wants a fat woman, trust me.”
“Thank you so much for looking out for me. I’m good”, you mutter after shaking their cruel words off your mind.
You can’t bring yourself to catch a glimpse at his comforting brown eyes, not when your guilty conscience almost eats you up alive. The stinging words of your mother and father haunt you until this day. Even though you left years ago and started your very own life away from their toxic household, even though your precious boyfriend Geto Suguru is the living proof for them being wrong.
Just one look at the salad in front of you paired with your memory is enough to feel like in your childhood all over again.
“Hey, look at me honey.”
Gently, his hand caresses your cheek and lifts your head into his direction. There they are, his oh so loving orbs, his tender smile that warms your stinging heart in an instant.
“We’ve been together for a year now and you still seem to be upset when you have to eat around me. I can’t help but wonder why you torture yourself. Is it because of me, did I give you the feeling you aren’t good the way you are? Because I love you with all my heart.”
You never allowed yourself to cry in front of someone else. To be exact, you stopped when you were greeted by nothing but harsh words from your parents with every tear that ran down your cheek. You are supposed to be a good and hostile woman, the perfect little wife for some wealthy man your parents already decided on when you were still 10. A woman that doesn’t speak as much as you do, a woman who doesn’t eat as much as you do. A feminine angel walking on earth with the only purpose to say yes and amen to her beloved husband.
When you were finally old enough to leave them behind, you packed your things and joined jujutsu high. Life is easier around here with so many beloved friends by your side who support and truly love you. Yes, they showed you how good you are, that you are independent and are allowed to have your own opinion, that it’s okay to say no. Yes, you even started to eat a little more and gained a healthy amount of weight and well-formed muscles.
They were wrong. Your parents were so wrong with everything they taught you. But this…
You bite your lip when a sub escapes from deep down your throat, hot tears now stinging in your eyes so violently that you can’t catch your breath. Eating has always been your weakness, the one and only thing you can’t fully control until this day. Their words still crush you every time you order something to eat.
What if Suguru doesn’t find you attractive when you gain even more weight?
What if he thinks it’s disgusting to see you eat like a pig?
What if he’ll fall out of love when you show him that you aren’t as perfect as a doll?
“I’m so sorry. The last thing I want is to see you cry”, he instantly speaks out, wrapping his much-needed arms around you so tightly that you sink into his broad chest.
“It’s just…I’m afraid to eat more…”, you finally blurt out.
A part of your heart flutters in relief when those words finally leave your mouth. For more than a year, you simply forced yourself through the aching of your stomach, the hunger that kept you awake when Suguru laid next to you fast asleep. All because of their cruel words. All because they made you believe your whole life you aren’t good enough if you eat “too much”.
“You don’t feel comfortable eating around me, don’t you?”
You simply nod against his chest, too ashamed to lift your head. How embarrassing to hear those words leaving his lips, that he already knows why you’re acting this way.
“May I ask why? Did I say or do something that makes you feel this way, love?”
Your head starts spinning. The sheer thought that he might think your strange behaviour is his fault, that he did something wrong is ridiculous in your eyes.
“Absolutely not. It’s…It’s…”
Why is it so damn hard to find the right words? You stutter like an idiot for what feels like ages while listening to Suguru’s steady heartbeat. He knows how rough your childhood was, that your parents treated you like the dirt underneath their feet. You were never good enough, never pretty enough, never smart enough. Until you became a well-known and rich jujutsu sorcerer with a charismatic man like Geto Suguru by your side.
“See? I told you you will find a wealthy man if you keep up with our education, daughter.”
“All because we taught you everything you know and kept you in shape!”
“No”, you replied immediately, straightening your shoulders while facing the people who made your life living hell for more than enough years.
“I did all of this by myself. Because I chose to be the person I am instead of the person you wanted me to be.”
“They always told me I’m too much, that eating in front of my man is strictly forbidden. I was supposed to be a thin and docile wife.”
Your voice is nothing but a far away whisper. All those nights your father scolded you when you weighted more than you did before. How your mother screamed at you when your curves start to develop through puberty, how disgusted they looked at you when you wore shorts or ate next to them. Deep within, you know how toxic your eating habits are despite the positive changes you’ve been through. But still…Just the thought of eating a cheeseburger in front of Suguru fills you with so much disgust that your guts turn immediately.
“You aren’t docile but strong and stubborn. You aren’t only thin but strong and athletic. Your body is capable of so much more than simply being thin, (y/n). You are perfect in every single way, your body allows you to fight so well that even Satoru admires your skills. You are so breathtakingly beautiful that I could stare at you all day…I am glad you didn’t follow their rules, that you didn’t turn into the good and docile wife they wanted you to be. Because you became so much more. Because you can do so much more. But for that, you need to fuel your body the way it deserves it even when I’m around. I love to see you eat, I love to see you happy and healthy. And I know how hard it can be to overcome things you were taught from a young age. Would you promise me something?”
Now you can’t help but lift up your head, staring at him through your wet lashes. His words, his oh so sweet words still linger through your mind and force your cheeks to turn bright pink. Is this really how Suguru feels about you, are you really enough for him just the way you are?
Why wouldn’t you? After all, he was the one choosing you.
“What?”, you mumble.
“Promise me that we will work this out. If you can’t bring yourself to open up to me, please consider checking up with Shoko or another professional. I admire you for all the things you’ve already did, that you were actually able to turn into a wonderful woman with that horrible family. I’d love to hang out with you while eating chips, I’d love to eat a whole lot of unhealthy junk food and sweets with you without you worrying about my thought. Because the only thing I care about is that you’re happy. And you being healthy and eating properly means happiness.”
That smile. That oh so bright smile that reaches his brown eyes and lifts up your mood immediately. Oh, you truly don’t deserve him. A new wave of fresh tears threatens to spill over your eyes and begins to take your sight.
But those aren’t tears of sorrow. No, those are tears of pure joy and love.
You throw yourself around his neck before he’s able to catch you properly, causing both of you to almost fall off his chair.
“I will”, you mutter against his ear.
“I promise I will work on it.”
“I’m more than glad to hear that”, he replies softly while caressing your hair.
“Would you like to order something else in addition to your salad, then?”
You let go of Suguru with a small smile, holding his hands tightly as your heart overflows with love. The man who showed you what you’re capable of, who supports you through anything. Sooner or later, you will be able to share food dates with him and enjoy them. But until then…
“I’m fine for today. But next time, I might order something else.”
“Fine. Just let me know when you’re ready, (y/n).”
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Tags This takes me ages, so please if you decided to be part of the tag list show some love lol):
 @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld
@hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen
@magalimachete @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut 
@mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0
@ynackerman9499 @keepghostly  @froufrousnowman @tomiokathedepresso @gojosrealwife 
@coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain 
@risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny
@ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr
@kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world
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@ryva @kenjakusconcubine @baku2345 @komelrebi-san @deezy12299
@okay-it-is-ivy
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wtftarot · 2 days
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PAC: What are the truths you need to face
Another thanks to @lifeofaie for suggesting this pac. If you've got a pac idea feel free to send it to my inbox!
This one can be a little bit of a call-out, but I mean, it is a reading on what truths you need to face.
as always this reading is for entertainment purposes ONLY and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity. Remember use common sense and don't be a dumbass.
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Pick either the Sword, the Cat or the Stars and head on to your reading
The Sword
This group is kinda heavy, please be gentle on yourself.
The High Priestess, Four/Cups, The Tower, and the Seven/Wands on the bottom of the deck.
So, y'all kinda already know what truths you need to face. The problem is you're fighting them off. Y'all may be asking spirit or your guides a lot of questions that you already know the answers to. I'm hearing 'where there's smoke there's fire". With the Tower here, there's one truth in particular that you know that if you let yourself look at it head-on, things will have to change. It could even be painful to look at it head-on, (if it is please have some support when you choose to face it) It's like, all the signs are there but you're still iffy on it. This could be a person who you've started to notice the red flags or a situation that you know is bad but you won't let yourself really focus on just how bad. A few of you I'm getting, keep reading romance/ what are they thinking PACs for a person that you know isn't treating you right and maybe ignoring when the readings tell you that. I'm not trying to be harsh or call anyone out. I don't think any of the truths this group is facing are easy, little ones. I'm actually hearing the word "catastrophic". I know how scary it is to face something that you know will hurt. Cause part of it is admitting that it hurt and actually letting yourself feel that hurt instead of pretending it's not there. You are so brave and so so fucking strong and you will get through this. The advice for you is this be gentle on yourself and fucking tough on the situation. This will be hard and you want to give yourself time and space to rest and rebuild your strength. Then kick its fucking ASS. Bad shitty work/living situation? Setting boundaries with a shitty fucking person? Digging yourself out of a mental health pit? All of these are fucking tough as hell but you survived, ya know what that makes you right? Tougher than hell, that's what. Be fuckin cut-throat when it comes to getting things to a better place and then REST, alright? Eat, drink a lot of water, and do things that make you happy. Cause this is fucking hard and you need to take care of yourself. You are smart and capable and you deserve fucking better. Another thing that your guides keep pushing is support, you fuckin need it. I dunno if y'all have been trying to deal with all of this alone or if you haven't told anyone you're struggling but you need to. I'm fuckin serious. Talk out loud to spirit if you have to, just saying things out loud or writing them down can really help you process what's going on in your head. I believe in y'all.
random ass vibes: 10:10, Blue, camping, birds, 90s, cat cartoons,
The Cat
The Emperor Rx, the Star, The World Rx, and the Eight/Cups on the back of the deck
Listen, I don't really do relationship advice but some of y'all need to be told that you can't change him. You can't and no, he won't change for you. And you shouldn't go into a relationship expecting a person to change. That's not for everyone, take it as it resonates. You need to take action towards what you want. Y'all are dreamers and that's awesome. It seems though, they're just staying dreams. I'm a Pisces moon, I'm not judging y'all at all when I say this but y'all really kinda live in a fantasy. Y'all seem to have this tendency to ignore what's in front of you for what it could be. The way it's coming through is that y'all are leaving so fucking much on the table that could EASILY be yours but the fantasy obviously is more than reality could ever be so that's where your mind wants to stay. Thing is, y'all know we don't live in a fantasy and you want to do better in reality. BUT you see the fantasy you have as how things "could" be and when you do act on your dreams and they don't match up to the fantasy, you feel inadequate. Like you're not reaching your potential. So, you get down on yourself and never want to pursue your dreams. I know it's hard to accept that reality can never meet the fantasy we build up in our heads. Reality is messy and in our fantasy we never have to shit or floss or maintain what we have, we just have it. The truth is having to accept that life will never be perfect. There is no perfect relationship, perfect job, or perfect life. No routine is going to magically fix your life. The people you love will always have traits that annoy you a little bit, just like you have traits that annoy them a little bit, but you love each other and know you're both worth mild annoyance. It's time to ground your ideas into reality and let them be imperfect. Let them breathe. Y'all are limiting yourself to the idea of perfection. Your life IS going to be a little fucked up and messy no matter what. Some of y'all ain't even perfectionists, you just don't believe in yourselves and use things not meeting your fantasies as evidence that you can't do it. I'm not getting much in the way of advice for y'all other than to act? If this is your group then I'm betting you've had an idea of what this has all been referring to for you and know what action comes with that. Good luck!
random ass vibes: Gilmore girls? starting tarot reading (hell yeah!) a good nights sleep, 122,
The Stars
Judgment Rx, Four/Pentacles, The Hermit Rx, Two/Swords Rx and the High Priestess on the back of the deck.
So, first thing is: that you can't manifest yourself past the time some things need to take. Some things just take time. Y'all seem to be holding on to this idea that you're not the active force in your own life making things happen? It feels like there's a person or a group of people, or maybe you believe in fate but there's something that y'all are endowing with more power in your life than you. It's like to you it doesn't matter what you want, what decisions you make because it'll work out how this other thing deems it should. Your judgment doesn't matter. Some of y'all even feel like you don't have a say in who YOU are. Y'all may have had or do have really controlling parental figures. But FUCK. That's devastating, y'all. I can't imagine feeling like you're not the driving force in your own life. Listen, I don't believe in fate, destiny, soul-mates, or "meant to bes" and I am not judging y'all if you do but fate isn't engineering every single little thing in your life. It's not all that serious, I promise. You can just do things. It's not all make-or-break-life-altering-weight-of-cosmic-destiny-on-your-sholders. Your life shouldn't be focused on figuring out what your fated path is and sticking to that rigidly. Why? Cause that's not life, babe. That's following a script. The truth for y'all is that you are the driving force in your life and you need to start trying to see yourself that way. And this reading is looking to be short cause it's kinda existential, but you have free will and can choose and act and change things. If there is a "path" it's a vague one and you're making the rest up as you go. You can just step off of it. Anytime. Head in any direction you want. You don't have to be with that person if you don't want to just cause someone said y'all were soul mates. You don't have to choose that career just cause it seems "fated", if you hate it, hate it and leave. YOU make the decisions.
random ass vibes: Russian Doll (tv show), 144, reds and yellows, thumb bone part that looks like a chicken leg lol? Disorientation by Katie Mack
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niabang · 1 day
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Peaceful Arguments
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Pairings: Bangchan × fem reader
Word Count: 2.3k
Summary: You and your boyfriend got into a huge fight and you have a "special" way of reconciling.
Warnings: smut included (Minors dni). Hard dom/possessive chan, angst, angry/makeup sex, bratty sub reader, overstim/edging, unprotected sex (don't be silly wrap your willy.) Drew inspiration from Chan's bbl messages if you can tell hahaha.
More under the cut!!
Well, this honeymoon phase ended pretty quickly. How did you and your boyfriend go from finding everything adorable and cute to fighting every now and then?
You could still live with it. It was just the usual couple bickering, and it always ended with you bent over the kitchen counter or squirming under your boyfriend, so a win was a win for you.
But it never got this bad. This time, voices were raised, and insults were bouncing off the walls of your apartment.
"Y/n, I don't have time for this. Just leave me alone." Your boyfriend Chan said standing right in front of you.
"What do you mean you don't have time for this when you started it!?" Why was he pulling the victim card when he instigated this mess?
"What the fuck did I start y/n?" He was really acting innocent.
"Well, for starters, you pulled me out of a party and yelled at me in public, insinuating that i was cheating on you while you were right there? That was so embarrassing. You're being such an immature dick right now." You said.
"I'm immature? How did you expect me to react when you were basically fucking another guy just 10 inches away from me huh? Don't act stupid because I know you aren't." Okay, maybe the dance you shared with your former classmate did get a bit too intimate, but you shut it down once you saw he was getting the wrong idea.
Your boyfriend was kind of (really) overreacting right now.
"Did you just call me stupid?" You asked him cocking an eyebrow.
"Y/n I didn't call you stupid. I said, "Don't act like it." Use your head." Oh, he was actually calling you stupid.
"You're being so fucking dramatic right now Chan. You asked me who he was, and I told you he was a former classmate from high school. I told you that I fucking shut it down when I noticed he was getting the wrong message..."
"You yelled at me in PUBLIC Chan fucking hell I am not a child or your property I'm a grown woman who can think and speak for herself."
"Okay, then y/n go think for yourself into someone else's pants I don't want to have this conversation anymore." There was no way he was being serious.
"You are such an insecure bitch, I hate you so much. I can't stand you." You said.
"Then I'll leave then. Let's talk tomorrow because you're clearly confused." He turned and picked up his car keys from a tiny bowl on the kitchen island and proceeded to the door.
"No. Who said anything about tomorrow? Don't come back till you're ready to accept the fact that you're wrong and apologise to me." He stopped in his tracks and turned to face you.
"Now that's where you have it wrong. I won't be back until YOU apologise to me and cut off all contact with that guy whatshisface..." Wow, so you were both dropping ultimatums now okay.
"He has a name, and it's Brandon." You corrected him, and just at the perfectly wrong timing, you received a call, and it was Brandon. Chan took a look at your phone and laughed.
"Oh fuck off y/n." He walked out and closed the door behind him then you heard his car zoom off.
Good riddance.
You called Brandon back, and the poor guy was only calling to apologise for causing war between you and your boyfriend and even offered to speak to him on your behalf but you told him not to bother.
Not that it would even work. That would only make things worse between you and chan.
You slept it off and woke up the next day expecting to see texts and missed calls from your boyfriend, but you got nothing.
You were a bit hurt because part of you hoped that he would come crawling back, but you couldn't have everything you asked for. Could you?
It was 4 p.m. now, and you had successfully spent your day lazing about and binge watching a crappy sitcom on Netflix.
You missed your boyfriend. You really did, but you had to be strong because you knew you weren't the one in the wrong.
God, you were so pathetic. You hadn't even eaten all day because of a man, and it made you remember how mad he'd get if he realised that you were skipping meals and not taking care of yourself properly.
Life was so sickening without him (it had only been a day).
You decided you were going to make yourself a quick sandwich because you were already dying of heartbreak, and it'd be wrong to add hunger to your struggles.
6:30 p.m., you received a text from Chan saying he was coming over to pick up his stuff and added that you could throw them out if you wanted to.
He was so dramatic. You replied to him with a simple "fine" and turned off your phone.
You were just about to start making your sandwich when you heard a key turn in the lock.
He was here to pick up his stuff.
You were so happy to see him, but you had to keep your cool and act like you weren't because you didn't want to stroke his already inflated ego.
"Am I not going to get a hey or anything?" He said after he had come in and locked the door, but you completely ignored him and kept on eating your sandwich at the kitchen island.
"So you're ignoring me now, huh? You gon do me like that?" You still didn't pay any attention to him and kept munching on your sandwich.
You heard him scoff and watched him find his way into your once shared bedroom.
You shouldn't have looked up at him, though, because now you were horny. Did he really have to wear the grey sweatpants and compression shirt combo today? Of all days?
He was definitely doing this on purpose. He knew what he was doing, but no, you weren't going to give in.
He came out of the bedroom carrying his two suitcases and proceeded to the living area to pack up his console and the other things that accompany it.
You stood up from the chair you were eating on, and you were now leaning backwards with your elbows rested on the kitchen island.
You were watching his every move in silence.
You expected him to just finish packing his stuff and leave, but he stopped halfway, got up, and started walking towards you?
He came closer till there was only an inch of space between you two, and you had to crane your neck upwards to look at him.
"Baby, what are we even doing?" He said and your stomach did a thousand flips.
"I don't know you tell me." You were determined not to fold today.
"What do I have to do to make you come back to me." He sighed and placed his hands on your hips. Fuck.
You placed your hands on his and took them off your hips, and widened the gap between you two a bit.
"Come on." He said in an almost whiny tone.
"Beg me." You didn't even think before you spoke, but that was the smartest thing you had said in a while.
Your boyfriend looked at you unbelievably and scoffed at you like there was no way he was going to do it.
"You can just pack up and leave if you aren't going to do it." You were doing so good.
"Okay, fine, you win." There was no way he was actually agreeing to this.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry for being an insecure and immature boyfriend. I acted like a dick and I was in the wrong but it's been hell without my girl and I miss her so fucking much my heart hurts, my tummy hurts, my head hurts and I can't even think straight it feels like the walls are closing in on me and I'm going to stop breathing at any second..."
"Bro, okay, I accept. Stop being a drama queen." You said half laughing at your boyfriend.
"Does that mean I can kiss you now?" He asked.
"Say, please." Maybe you just wanted to hear him beg a tiny bit more.
"Please y/n can I kiss you, please?" He was surprisingly playing along well.
"Ye-"
You felt his lips on yours before you could even finish your sentence. Oh God, you missed this. You missed him.
You guys were kissing each other so hungrily with tongues gliding in and out of each other's mouths. You could feel his hard on against you and you wanted nothing more than for him to fuck you.
Chan bit your lower lip, and you felt him smile against your lips when you let out a moan. He was so damn cocky.
You started to undo the strings to his pants, but when he realised what you were doing, he broke the kiss and moved away from you.
You were slightly (very) confused as to why he did that, and you're pretty sure you whined as he broke contact between you two.
He looked at you up and down and bit his lip.
"When did you get this skirt? Is it new?"
You looked down at what you were wearing and it was even too short to be called a skirt but you were at home so who cares?
"It's not new. I've had it for years, but I stopped wearing it because it got too short." Why were you guys talking about clothes when he could be breaking your back right now?
"I want to be rough with you." Oh, you were so back.
"Then be rough with me." You replied, looking straight into his eyes.
"Fuck." Chan said. Before you could even say anything else, you were being hoisted up onto the kitchen island, and chan went back to devouring your lips.
He went down to your neck with a hunger, and your hands went into his hair. He was definitely leaving marks on your skin.
You were moaning his name uncontrollably, and you guys hadn't even gotten started yet. Maybe absence does really make the heart grow fonder.
He stopped kissing you once again, but this time, he was giving instructions.
"Get down and take off your clothes." You got down immediately and started to comply, but he stopped you when you got to the skirt.
"No, not that. I want to fuck you in it." You died a little at that statement.
"Take off your panties." He said.
"I'm not wearing any." You're a 100% sure you saw his eyes darken at that statement.
"Okay, turn around and rest on the island." You complied without saying a word.
Your cheeks were met with the cold marble and you could feel your ass and pussy completely exposed to him.
You felt chan come closer to you, and you let out a moan when he started to rub his dick in between your folds teasing your entrance.
You thought he was finally going to fill you with his dick but instead, you were met with a hard slap on your ass and you let out the nastiest moan ever.
One slap turned into two, three turned into four, and your cheeks were stained with tears.
Chan gave you no time to collect yourself as he pushed himself inside you and thrusted agonisingly slowly to gain a rhythm.
You started whining from how slow he was going and as if he knew he started pounding into you as fast as he could.
He filled you so well it was like you were two pieces of a puzzle.
He was fucking you so well you were loosing your mind and your stamina.
Chan noticed and used one hand to steady you then continued his assault on your pussy.
You started feeling that familiar feeling in your stomach and you knew you were about to cum.
"Chan, please don't stop." You begged.
He, in fact, did not stop, but just as you were about to reach your high, he pulled out and left you an unsatisfied mess.
"Did you really think it was going to be that easy?" He asked you in the most condescending tone ever.
"You liked it when I acted all weak and nice, huh? Well, it's your turn now." Fuck. You should have known there was a catch.
He smacked your ass once again and your pussy clenched around nothing.
"Not so confident now, are you?" He taunted.
"Chan I'm sorry please just fuck me please." You begged hoping to make things better for yourself.
"What do you want?" He asked you.
"I want to cum chan please make me cum." You whined.
"You'll have to earn it because only good girls get to cum." He said that and went back to destroying your insides.
This man edged you not once but three times.
At this point, you were sobbing uncontrollably, and you were worn out.
"Who does this pussy belong to?" He asked while thrusting in and out of you at the speed of light.
"You Chan." You said through tears.
"Who do you belong to?" He asked.
"You chan." You struggled to get that last one out.
"That's my good girl." He said and finally let you cum. Your release hit you like a brick, and he came right after you, too. You felt so full that you were literally on cloud 9.
Chan lifted you from the island immediately after, turned you to face him, and gave you a kiss on your forehead.
"You know I love you, right?" He asked, and you nodded.
"Let's not fight anymore, okay?
"Okay." You answered, and he pulled you in for a hug.
You were so back!
You did lie about one thing, though. The makeup sex was too good for you guys to stop fighting.
There were many more fights to come.
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WIBTA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he likes my body?
TW for ED but please hear me out:
My bf (30m) and I (28f) have been together for a little over 5 years. When we got together I had an extremely stressful and physically demanding job. Shortly after our relationship started I relapsed with an eating disorder that had been a problem since prepubescence; I started restricting heavily at age 11 and had struggled with it on/off since then.
After quitting that terrible job and regaining some agency in my life, I spent a couple of years really focused on recovery. Without giving specific numbers (cause triggering) I'll say that I was extremely underweight to an unhealthy level for at least a year and experienced severe health complications because of it. I nearly died from heart problems and had a big wakeup call that caused me to change my whole life. I've done the work of recovery without medical help (history of omission with doctors) but have had support from my bf, and am currently at the highest weight of my life.
at a recent checkup my Dr talked a lot about "healthy lifestyle" and mentioned my weight gain over the past couple of years. I'm still within the "normal" range for my height and build, but the after visit summary/chart notes denoted risk of becoming overweight. Idk if my Dr would have brought it up if my history of ED was in my chart, (and I did switch primary care practices a few years ago, so they weren't treating me at my thinnest) but it still shook me a bit and I will admit to feeling very triggered.
The job I moved to is quite sedentary compared to the previous terrible one - I wfh, and very rarely have to be on my feet or do strenuous activity. In addition, I have chronic pain issues that make exercise difficult, and so historically have just restricted to maintain/lose weight because it's easier for me physically to just be hungry than to work out. I didn't want to go down that road again though because of how intense and scary it got last time.
My bf is a personal trainer and specializes in working with low ability clients and people recovering from long illness/injury. When I told him that I wanted to start exercising more often and get a good cardio routine going, he was really excited and started immediately putting together an "action plan" (what he calls it w his clients idk) for me. Then he mentioned how I'd need to add on a bunch of meal supplements and snacks to avoid losing weight and I got upset.
We're a plant-based (vegan) household and live with a roommate (bf's friend) so mostly eat/cook communal dinners and have various breakfast & lunch plans on hand, so we already eat pretty healthy and make sure to have a good balance of macro/micro in the meal plan. My intent was to eat the same but increase my activity level to get out of the danger zone without restricting. I don't generally snack and rarely eat dessert, just the 3 squares.
I told my bf that I needed to lose weight and be more active according to my doctor, and that I wasn't comfortable with having protein supplements, smoothies, and snacks in addition to regular meals because that would defeat the purpose. He got really sad and said that he likes the way my body is now, and while he supports being more active, he doesn't want the size of me to change. His exact words at some point were "you look so good now, I love the amount of you that there is and I like the way you jiggle." It kind of made me feel sick and wonder if he has like a secret size fetish or something?
So I've been thinking of breaking things off with him and moving in with a friend or back in with my parents, but idk if this is actually a red flag or just the disorder talking? He did help me a lot with recovery but if he's going to keep me from being healthy or wants me to gain even more weight then maybe it's better to leave - would this be an asshole move? I honestly don't know.
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wosoamazing · 2 days
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Christmas & New Years
Part 3 - Fire on Fire Series A/N: Don't know how I feel about this chapter but I hope you like it
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You were sitting in the gym with some of the girls, they were all discussing their Christmas plans.
“What are you doing for Christmas? You won’t be alone will you?” Steph asked.
“No, I won’t be. Tante booked me a flight to Paris, so I’m going to Paris. I think we are doing Christmas day with some of Tante’s family.”
“Paris, wow, do you know French?” Kim asked, “Yeah, I do, we actually speak a mix of Swedish, French and English at home.” You all continued talking about Christmas and New Years, and everyone's plans and traditions until it was time for everyone to head out to the pitch.
____
You were about to board your flight when your phone lit up.
From Leah: Safe travels x (Tell me when you land)
To Leah: Thank you. You too x
Your flight to Paris was pretty uneventful, thankfully, there were no children in your part of the aircraft, although that was probably due to the fact your Tante insisted on buying you a first class ticket, but you couldn’t really complain about the complimentary glass of champagne.
Tante and Moster picked you up from the airport and as you were sitting in the back seat you messaged Leah.
“Who are you messaging?” Moster asked, “No one,” you replied, brushing it off, “It doesn’t seem like a no one, have you met someone?” you looked up from your phone and glared at her at the words, “Well that answers my question,” she said smugly.
“Leave her alone babe,” Tante told her off, “Yeah Moster,” you said as Tante rolled her eyes and playfully stuck her tongue out at you. “Such children, the both of you,”
______
You and Leah had a lot more conversations between each other at the training grounds and you found talking with her really easy, you wouldn’t even talk about anything important or useful just random conversations, and slowly over the days you found yourself messaging with Leah more and more, having taken to phone calls most nights. You couldn’t figure out your feelings for her, was she just a friend to you or did you want something more, and you couldn’t decipher her feelings for you.
“How did you know? Like how do you know if someone is the one for you? I haven't known her for long but it feels different, like we talk all the time, and some nights we call each other and talk before we go to sleep. Just it wasn't long between when you both met and got married, so like how do you know, how do you know it’s not just a good friendship and you’re not just reading too much into it?” you blurted out
“I mean it’s different for everyone, but I guess you could say it feels easy, and you can talk to them without it being weird or awkward but you can also sit in silence and it's fine too. It’s kind of like a good friendship but with different feelings.” Moster explained.
“How do you know her? Do you play with her?” Tante asked, “Yeah,” you said as you nodded, “and so I don’t want to just be like reading too much into it and then it get awkward, like obviously I’m going to wait longer to say anything to her about it, but some of the girls have said they think she has a crush on me, but I don’t know if that’s true.”
“Just wait, take your time, if she does like or love you she won't mind waiting, aren’t you doing a preseason camp with the team?” “Yeah, and I think she is my roommate, they’ve given us draft plans in terms of roommates and schedules and currently it says she’s my roommate.”
“Well you’ll find out a lot more then, and even if it end ups that you don’t like each other you could still have a good friendship,” you nod and smile, “Thank you,”
______
Leah sat on the bench as her Mum baked some biscuits, talking away, discussing many things that had happened in their lives recently.
“Have you met someone? You seem different and you’re always on your phone,” Amanda asked her daughter.
“Um, I guess, the new signing, she is really nice and I feel like we just clicked, like it’s so easy to talk to her and she cares about things you say and actually remembers the details, she is very attentive.” Leah said as her Mum watched her expression change as she spoke about this girl.
“That’s good Bubba, go for it, but just don’t jump the gun too fast, and as always remember that if it doesn’t work out she could still end up being a really great friend,” The blonde nodded at her Mum as she slightly bit her bottom lip.
______
You had planned to spend New Year's Eve alone, having just arrived back from Paris that night you weren’t up for the party Beth and Viv were hosting, you had been invited many times by them and Beth promised you it wouldn't be awkward even though you hadn’t spent much time with any of the team but that wasn’t what you were worried about, you were more worried about the ones you had spent quite some time talking to. Leah had invited you, or more asked you to come to the party and to be honest you were nervous, you didn’t want Leah to have any expectations and you also didn’t want to do something you would regret. However after the multitude of Beth’s messages you decided to go, even if you only stayed for a few minutes. It only took you three minutes to get there, as you were still dressed from your flight.
“Y/N you came!” A very excited Leah said as she opened the door, before she dragged you by the wrist to where the countdown was happening.
“Happy New Year, Y/N/N,” she spoke loudly as she pulled you in for a hug, to which you returned.
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