#like im sorry my sense of humor is better than yalls and i thought that bo-katan ‘ex terrorist that helped maul take over’ kryze | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anne-i-write · 3 years

Text

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

#moriarty the patriot #moriarty the patriot x reader #yuukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #william james moriarty #william moriarty #william james moriarty x reader #william moriarty x reader #louis james moriarty #louis moriarty #louis james moriarty x reader #louis moriarty x reader #albert james moriarty #albert moriarty #albert james moriarty x reader #albert moriarty x reader #sebastian moran #sebastian moran x reader #fred porlock

2K notes · View notes

moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanon for being Hela’s child

Hela Odinsdottir x child!reader

Thor/Loki x reader

warnings: blood/death/ alcohol mentions

a/n: been thinking abt hela a lot lmao

prompt: y/n is hela’s child

you were born in hel

and raised on stories of your mother’s triumph

she always left out her downfall, though

growing up to hate the thought of your grandfather, odin

he was always regarded as “backstabbing coward”

“and what will you do when we finally go back to asgard, my child?”

“stand beside you while you rightfully rule the kingdom, mother”

“that’s correct”

after years and years of enduring hel, you’re only home, you were released at the sight where your grandfather had took his final breath

“you didn’t tell me i had any uncles...”

“they’re irrelevant, my dear”

thor and loki being extremely confused upon meeting the evil family members that they had just discovered

“and odin never said anything about hela having a child!”

“i was born in hel”

:)))

straight up attacking them, it was all you had been trained for

you were your mother’s weapon, that was for certain

craving destruction and blood, that was what you were taught��now that you’d escaped your prison, you could finally do that

and you wanted asgard, you were robbed of that much after your mother was banished

it felt so elegant there, nothing like the depths you were trapped in

striking fear into the hearts of asgardians, but something seemed very off

their fear didn’t make you happy like mother had promised?

it wasn’t very glorious when you killed anyone

“mother, you said this would be fun...”

“you’re not having fun?”

“not even a bit”

your only fun was watchcing skurge dance around for your mom

and it wasn’t even that good then

your uncles returning to asgard for a fight to remember

while your mother was distracted with thor, you ran across the bifrost, running into loki

“now just what do you think you’re doing, child?”

“my mother is a monster, i cant serve her any longer”

this god of mischief believed you

“then you better fight like hell to prove it”

your powers were similar to your mother’s, blades were never scarce to you

thor and the rest of the “revengers” regrouping on the bridge

“what the hell is this one doing here?”

“helping you defeat my mother”

“well, okay then. welcome to the team”

valkyrie didn’t trust you right away

you paid no mind to that, you were focused on one thing

“y/n?! what do you think you’re doing with them?”

“getting rid of you once and for all, you..?”

*thor, whispering* “bitch”

“bitch!”

“typically i dont condone the usage of that word, but your mother gets a free pass”

happily fighting alongside your uncles, it was almost as if you could tell each others next move, it was mesmerizing

you saved loki from being hurt

“well then...thank you, little one”

“im 1200 years old”

“i stand by my words”

hela begged you to join her once more, it was startling and pathetic (and maybe even a trap)

happily watching your mother perish, you hadn’t realized how cruel she was until then

“i’m sorry about your mother, young y/n” -thor

“im not”

the asgardians didn’t trust you very much, you would have to earn it

and you did when you encountered the mad titan known as thanos

you swore you did everything you could, but it wasn’t enough

you had to watch thor be tortured and loki be killed, it was scarring

being picked up by the guardians of the galaxy

“who are you?”

“i barely know who i am”

thor needing to go to nidavellir and taking you with him

“im sure you’ll need a mighty weapon to see the fall of thanos!”

“but...am i worthy of such a thing?”

you felt a sense of guilt for your past actions

and even your mother’s

thor put each of his hands on your shoulders and looked you in the eye (with the only one he had)

“y/n, you must understand that your mother...she poisoned your mind with nothing but hate, but i can tell that you’re much different than her. i’ll be here for you from now on, believe me”

dmitri was able to forge you a weapon of your own, you fell in love with it as soon as you laid eyes upon it

also thor almost died??? that would’ve sucked

and then he took you to midgard, the only thing you knew about it was that the people were weak and irrelevant

but when you met the midgardians, you only met warriors (mind you, you had just landed in the middle of a battle)

another significant fight with your uncle thor

“captain! this is y/n, my (neice, nephew, nibling)”

“hello, y/n. welcome to earth”

“thanks, i hate it!”

going out of your way to save as many as you can, it just felt right

“who is that?”

“well, apparently thor had a sister no one knew about, that’s her kid?”

i nearly forgot about rocket and groot, who you thought were the coolest

“rabbit! over here!”

“for the millionth time, y/n, it’s ‘rocket’”

seeing thanos once again, you and thor thought alike over what needed to be done

you attacked him from behind while thor struck him in the chest, but the disaster ensued and you were left blaming yourself once more

“it’s not your fault, y/n. we all failed”

“captain rogers, i could have killed him, i know that im the one to blame”

everyone could tell that you carried an abundance of guilt, your mother didn’t treat you well

you had to control your anger, you didn’t want to be perceived as a threat

eager to kill thanos

thor told you his stories of war, you idolized him after this

“so, y/n, tell me about your childhood”

“what’s there to tell? i was born in hel”

“good point”

happy to watch thanos die

thor and you rescued the rest of your people and founded new asgard

you and valkyrie ended up running it together, though

thor only became depressed, but he did teach you how to play fortnite

“y/n, y/n look! im doing the dance!”

“very impressing, korg!”

you and valkyrie actually became friends

she realized that the horrors inflicted by your mother were not a reflection of your character, you could be guided by valkyrie instead

“val, where’d all the beer go?”

“ask your uncle”

“why do i even bother”

a shot at redemption after meeting a smaller version of the hulk, giving your uncle a small sliver of hope

and him telling you who jane was

“you never told me you dated a midgardian?”

“yes, well, the reason for that was...”

he started crying

“right...”

tony called you “the little hel-raiser”

you did not laugh

maybe you didn’t have the greatest sense of humor

thor took you back to asgard where you met frigga

“thor, do you know if she’s my grandmother?”

“not a clue”

but you met her anyways

“y/n, dear, it’s good to finally meet you”

“oh, yes, you...you too”

she was very kind, you wished that you were able to see her in the natural timeline

you sort of wished to meet odin, as well

yall kinda saved the universe tho, that was pretty cool

valkyrie brought pegasus to the fight, you rode behind her while shooting daggers below

“you’re very good at that!”

when the fight was finally over, thor made the decision to leave new asgard to you and valkyrie

“you’re ready, y/n. they trust you. and valkyrie will be sure to guide you, ill see you again someday”

481 notes · View notes

getofy · 3 years

Text

matchup: #1 - hq boy w/ an extroverted fem reader!

—a/n: wow im genuinely so sorry for taking so long. literally school is ruining my life and i also um,, haven’t been doing the best this past month. i really hope this makes up for it !! it’s kinda long so my bad...also this is NOT proofread lol i apologize if it sucks aaaa.

DISCLAIMER: while this is a personalized matchup, they’re still headcanons, so basically anyone can enjoy them! :]

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

hello @/meremoomoo ! you are so cute and tysm for being patient about ur request. i debated who you would go well with for a while, but in the end i came up with...

SUGAWARA KŌSHI!

#SUGA: “YOU’RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!”

#Y/N: “THANK YOU KŌSHI :].”

☆ SUGA IS PERFECT FOR YOU, AND HERE IS WHY—

PERSONALITY TYPE:

suga has a personality type of INFJ, which compliments your ENFP personality type well.

“...you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. your sensitive, sympathetic nature may at times overtake you, leading you to make decisions that feel right but are not really the wisest option. this person, whose approach seems so cold at times, can help you to tune into your powers of objective reasoning and ensure that you are not letting emotions rule your life.” —some website i found

while INFJs are not the most compatible with ESFPs, your other personality type, wonderful things can still come out of INFJ/ESFP dynamics!

“your differences mean that you actually have a lot to offer one another. your counterpart may inspire you to slow down and think more deeply about the meaning of things, rather than just doing what feels right in the moment. in turn, you can help them to get out of their heads and enjoy life for what it is.” —some website i found

HOW YOU GUYS MET:

sugawara and you did not start off on the right foot at first...

the two of you were in the same class and sat very close to each other so he decided that he really wanted to get to know you.

he also just really likes becoming friends w/ people lol

since you were always laughing loudly with your friends during break time, he deduced that you had a good sense of humor.

he decided that jokes seemed like the right way to get to your heart win you over!

easy enough, right?

wrong.

apparently, he had caught you on a bad day because his attempts to be friendly were not received well. at all.

poor suga.

he does his best to be kind to everybody, but at the same time, he does love to poke fun at others. he probably took one of his jokes too far or something?

or maybe you really were just having a bad day?

who knows.

anyways, after that awkward encounter, he did his best to avoid you.

it’s not that he hated you, it’s just that he thought you hated him. it sort of bummed him out because you seemed cool, but he wanted to be respectful of your feelings!

*sorry it’s not enemies to lovers, but it’s close enough i hope ?

HOW HE DISCOVERED HE LIKED YOU:

the class had finished testing early, so the teacher decided to put on a movie.

AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON THE MOVIE WAS OLD YELLER?!!?!?

(basically it’s just an incredibly depressing dog movie. like, if you’ve never seen it then just imagine the saddest movie you’ve ever seen 10x)

anyways, you ended up crying. very loudly.

sugawara was incredibly concerned for you, since you seemed to be genuinely distraught, but he didn’t say anything

eventually, the teacher caught on to your disarray and excused you from the room so you could go calm yourself down.

after some time, the teacher tells suga to go check up on you to make sure ur not dead or whatever lol (you were taking a while).

he was hesitant to do this since he knew you weren’t too fond of him, but suga decides to do it anyways since he didn’t want to be a disobedient student.

he finds you sitting on a bench with tears streaming down your face

and MAN!!

all at once, suga gets this overwhelming urge to make you feel better. but like, as in, he-never-wants-to-see-you-in-this-kind-of-state again-otherwise-he-might-breakdown kind of urse.

despite not being super close to you, he had gotten so used to your large smiles and extroverted demeanor, that watching you cry felt foreign to him.

he missed your smile.

he soon realizes that seeing you upset hurts him because he genuinely cares about your well-being.

so he decides to make it his personal mission to make you smile again.

suga takes the spot next to you voicelesslyand tries his best to talk you through your dismay.

you don’t seem to mind the company, and to his delight you don’t seem to hate him as much as he thought you did!!

suga is very grateful for this

anyways, he manages to cheer you up, and the tips of your lips turn up into a small grin—just like he wanted them to.

AND BOY OH BOY WHEN THEY DO!!

whew this man’s heart skips a BEAT baby and he is lowkey spiraling lol he’s so confused like why is this girl’s smile making me feel some type of way

he had been so focused on what you thought about him, but he had never once stopped to consider what he thought about you (until this very moment, of course).

turns out suga was incredibly fond of you

yeah, that’s how he knew.

suga brain go brr 4 pretti girl

HOW HE CONFESSES:

you two had been hanging out more frequently as of late

and getting to know you was only making suga‘s crush grow EXPONENTIALLY

after many nights spent in long contemplation, he came to the conclusion that it was time to ‘man-up’ and just rip off the band-aid that was being honest about his feelings.

he buys a single flower (tanaka’s advice) and waits by your locker

very very simple and sweet confession typa beat :(

literally SO nervous pls help . he’s scratching the back of his neck and holding the flower out to you with a slight twinge in his cheeks.

“y/n...i know you weren’t too fond of me at first, but i...i don’t know i think we’re great together! and now that we hang out and stuff i was thinking that maybe we could-“

yeah you cut the poor boy off and said yes to put him out of his misery.

literally verbally celebrates when you accept his flower. does a lil victory dance and everything.

ugh yall r so cute.

AFTER HE CONFESSES:

YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER INSTANTLY WOOOOOO

somehow the most wholesome and chaotic couple to ever exist???

you guys spend like every waking moment together it’s adorable

noya and tanaka would jokingly hit on you and suga would pretend to be actually jealous.

i hc him as being a somewhat possessive-y boyfriend so do w that what you will

total best friend kind of lover but he’s also a sweetheart and rlly romantic + respectful abt ur needs:(

y’all r super comfy w each other !!

WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT YOU:

sugawara is usually the kind of person that’s always there for other people so he appreciates the fact that you’re the same way! you guys bond over your shared therapist/mom-friend tendencies, and quickly become the support systems you so desperately needed prior to getting together.

he’s there to listen to you about your problems and vice versa.

he adores how you can meet and sometimes even exceed his energy. it’s a nice change of pace since he usually gets scolded by daichi. </3

thinks it’s cute how much you care for animals! you’ll often find him staring at you in wonder as you pet a random dog on the street lol.

MISC HEADCANONS:

will spend hours on end watching you play video games on FaceTime. after a while, he ended up buying his own console and now you guys play together!

he’s fairly competitive, and will whine whenever you destroy beat him in a game!

he’s so cute pls

one of his favorite things to do after a long day is sit and play slower paced games such as minecraft and animal crossing with you.

whether it’s about your fav historical monument or about a new show you saw, suga will listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. usually he’s always got something to add to the convo though. sometimes you guys get overly excited together and end up speaking over each other in the same way.!

is INCREDIBLE at getting you to calm down?? like, if you ever need to be put in your place, suga knows exactly what to say to do it. does this make sense? lol. you guys have big ying and yang energy sometimes i feel.

you’re his BIGGEST supporter. whenever he’s put into games, you’re always the LOUDEST one cheering him one.

it really touches him to know that you’ll always be there to root for him!! even mr.refreshing gets down sometimes, so it’s incredible to have someone as positive as you by his side constantly reassuring him.

he’s a big animal person as well so you guys like going to volunteer at shelters together!

this was actually your second date HAHA.

if a dog is within a 40 ft radius from y’all, it is almost guaranteed that you guys will sprint to go pet them.

since you’re both athletic, you guys help each other practice sports together! suga’ll throw u soft toss and help you run drills and hype u up before games. & you’ll help him work on his technique and such <33.

y’all totally gossip together wow. you said you were a bit on the meaner side of the spectrum and lowkey he doesn’t mind AT ALL. he lives for it HAHAHAHA.

he literally thinks you’re stunning so it upsets him whenever you get insecure, but he’s always got the right thing to say to cheer you up! genuinely just,,,, so good with his words. if you’re having a bad night, he’s ready to come to your rescue with a gentle smile and funny one-liner and maybe a documentary if you’re lucky enough.

in his eyes, everything about you is beautiful. your hair. your freckles. your body. your laugh. your smile. everything!! he’s going to do whatever it takes for you to love yourself in the same way he loves you.

this man so whipped smh 🙄🙄

tl;dr: suga thinks you hate him. you don’t. you start hanging out. he confesses to you by the lockers. you start dating. you are infinitely better at gaming than he is and will never let him forget it.

YOUR ANTHEMS (in no particular order):

darling by christian leave

pleasantries (with your lover) by mustard service

upside down by jack johnson

sunflower, vol.6 by harry styles

what do you like in me? by nasty cherry

MOODBOARD:

pic 1 | pic 2 | pic 3 | pic 4

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

—CONGRATS! YOU’VE WON THE HEART OF ONE OF THE PRETTIEST SETTERS ON THE BLOCK. TREAT HIM WELL! ☆

*do not repost my work without proper credit and my explicit premission

back to navigation-> click here

more fics -> click here

want to request a matchup? -> click here

#maksmatchups #haikyuu!!#anime #haikyuu x reader #hq headcanons #hq matchups #karasuno #karasuno x reader #hq #haikyuu fluff #sugawara koshi #suga x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara x y/n #sugawara x you #sugawara koshi x reader #sugawara koshi x you #sugawara koshi x y/n

22 notes · View notes

moons-and-stars-and-shit · 3 years

Note

Hii! May i ask for a slice of cake? (If you can ofc)

So im a INFP-T virgo im also 4"11 i have dark brown hair it because wayy lighter near the sun. Also dark brown eyes my hair is cut kinda like a shag like the front is cut but the back isn't (bc of my parents) my style is grunge ig? Im very inlove with fairy style Smm but because im broke i cant really fulfil my love for that style (also probably because of my parents). My body is???? Okay my boobies are medium size and no unfortunately I don't have a fat ass 😕 im not chubby but at the same time im not skinny. Like the most fat goes to my tummy I get rolls when I sit down bath blah you get my point (im pretty insecure about it lolol). One of my two main dreams is to study abroad and become an interior decorator.

I dont know how to describe my personality but I will try. My best friend always tells me that my sense of humour is downhill BAD. I would laugh at the dumbest shit ever for example i laughed one of those pixilated bugs pics with random names on the bottom 💀 also I laugh at my own trauma and stuff that shouldn't be laughed at. I kinda have anger issues 😕 I get unmotivated pretty easily. I rant to my best friend alot and she says that im ✨depressed✨ and have ✨anxiety✨ and that i need therapy. Im scared to rant to my parents because im "too young and its just my hormones". Something that I found out about myself this year is i have chill tics 😦 (from anxiety). Outside im nice and sweet but on the inside my mind is just saying other things. Im SOMETIMES cold and say what's on my mind but thats to my close ones like my mom dad or friends. I dont lie going Outside alot I think school is kinda useless. I like to draw and listen to music my fav artist are mother mother and mitski.

I hope i didn't say TOO much anyway thank youu I hope you have/had a great day :)

🍰 for @shotosimp2

Romantic Matchup

Oikawa Tooru

How yall met

Ok im ngl

Y'all had know clue who each other were

Well that's a lie

Of course you knew who Oikawa was

But you just didn't care

Now Oikawa always saw you around school

You know...in the school uniform

But one day

He saw you outside of school in all of your grunge glory

And apart of him was like bitch wtf

And the other was like ok queen i see you 😗

So he approached you and complimented your outfit

And you said thanks and then ran off to wherever you were heading

Wait

You just said thanks???

No fan girling????

Not even a blush??????

Nothing????????????

OIKAWA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

Ok he would understand that reaction if you were just a stranger on the street

But you went to school with him?

So you had to know who he was right?

Yeah my mans had a whole ass crisis because you didn't have a bigger reaction

The next day he went to Iwa and told him about his interaction with you

And he was just like not everyone was to like you ya know

Oikawa: >:o

Then Iwa had a brilliant idea

Get this

Maybe

Oikawa should BEFRIEND you before expecting you to want to talk to him

Wild theory I know

So now Oikawa had a new goal

Befriending you

It actually wasn't that hard since you both had a lot of classes together

Soon enough you guys became close friends

And oikawa was happy with just being your friend

At least...he thought he was

But everything changed when you told him you were going to study abroad for 3 months

And even though you had each others numbers

Everything without you just seemed so dull

Omg

Did he really have feelings for you?

The more time that passed by the more he was sure that he liked you

Like LIKED liked you

So the day you came back to Japan is when he confessed to you

And well you'd be lying if you said you hadn't caught feelings for him too

So you said yes

What they love about you

He loves how normal you treat him

Now hell admit when he first met you he kinda wanted you to treat him like a celebrity

Expected it even

But the more time he spent around you

The more he realized how much he liked being treated normally

Ok screw what your friend says

He loves your humor!

Yall will laugh at the dumbest shit

If we were to look at you and Oikawa's messages

85% of it would be dumb ass memes

And honestly

This boy makes jokes about his trauma too

“Hey Y/N you wanna hear a joke?”

“Sure”

“My existence”

“...”

“Ayyyyy”

He loves how easy it is to talk to you

Like he's told you things he hasn't even told Iwa before

And Iwa is his CHILDHOOD BESTIE

So yeah

Trust between you two

ASTRONOMICAL

What you love about them

You love how supportive he is

If you say you wanna do something

He is right behind you cheering you on

You could tell him you want to commit arson

And he'd just be like

Period queen ill bring the gasoline 💅

You can always count on this man to be in your corner

Speaking of

You can always count on oikawa period

Which is another thing that you love about him

If oikawa is anything

He is a man of his word

If he says hes gonna do something

You know he's gonna do it

He's just overall a really reliable person

You love how he just seems to motivate you to do better

Fr after you guys started dating your grades went

Partly because you felt like you needed to compete with him

But mostly because he just motivates and pushes you to do better

And if you do improve on something

He is HYPING you up

“That's my baby! I knew you could do it!”

Favorite things to do together

Yall love to just go to the store and window shop

Im sorry but yall are some broke hoes

So most of the time it's just you guys trying on clothes in the dressing room

Taking pictures of your outfits

Then leaving

Yeah the store employees kinda hate you…

But who cares what they think

And if you two do have some pocket cash you'll buy one or two things

Then blow the rest of your money on that good mall food

Cause why not

Random Hc

He makes fun of your guys height difference ALL THE TIME

But like, can you blame him????

You're not even 5 feet tall!!!

“Imagine being the size of a 10 year old, couldn't be me”

Imagine being taller than the national average height 😐, couldn't be me”

“Touche”

He let you dress him up as an E-Boy ONCE

Ngl tho he dug the eyeliner look 😗

He called you every day while you were studying abroad

He even sent you a oikawa plushie

You may or may not have sent him a video of you drowning it

When you came back to Japan he legit TACKLED you in the middle of the airport

Astrology

Virgo + Cancer

Compatibility 80%

Cancer and Virgo can have a wonderful connection and are usually brought together by sexual understanding.

The main problem of their relationship is in the possible conflict between emotional Cancer and reasonable Virgo.

If they manage to overcome this, accepting each other’s shortcomings and learning to incorporate some rationality or some emotion into their lives, they could end up in an inspiring relationship that will last for a very long time.

In a way, they complement each other as much as the heart complements the mind.

If they share a spark of love, it would be a shame to miss the opportunity for happiness just because of someone’s irrational expectations or someone’s closed heart.

If someone can help Virgo build their trust, it is their Cancer partner.

Although Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are stable by nature, especially when it comes to emotional decisions they have made.

If they have chosen Virgo to be their loving partner, they will have no reason to lie or cheat.

This behavior would only endanger their vision of a shared life and a loving family they want with the partner they chose.

This is also a reason why Cancer won’t have an initial problem with trusting Virgo.

Their convictions are stronger than their doubt.

Overall Aesthetic

Grunge Glamour ✨

Songs -

Tia tamera (Doja Cat)

Verbratem (mother mother

Literal Legend (Ayesha Erotica)

Hayloft (mother mother)

Stupid (ashnikko)

#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu fandom #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu matchups #oikawa hcs #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa headcanons #oikawa tooru

7 notes · View notes

unexpectedcronchiness · 4 years

Text

CINDERELLA AU I WROTE FROM THE GROUP CHAT PART SOMETHING

WARNING: mentions of abuse yall its now on ao3 so if youd rather read it there go ahead https://archiveofourown.org/works/24003439

It wasn't Remus's fault he was a werewolf. If anything it was the blasted moon's fault, for taking the sanity of his mind once a month to fulfill its own personal desires. it wasn't his fault his parents and sisters didn't like him. Well most of the time. He would be lying if he said he hadn't egged them on every now and then but not often, not often enough for this.

Remus gingerly rubbed his arm,one of the many areas whipped and beaten tender and raw frequently. It would have been nice to think that his loving family were smart enough to not have left marks, but alas, they weren't. Not that it mattered. He'd had marks since his first moon, when he was six.

The marks were just one other thing that showed how he was a monster, less than human but close enough to know how much he wanted to be one. His eyes, that reflected light like a wolf, his canine teeth, just a bit larger than normal, enough to be unsettling, and his ears, that could hear the slightest of sounds outside of the full moon.

His ears he didn't mind so much, they were nice and offered him his only friends, the animals near their manor, but they were still unnatural. Speaking of his friends he heard a familiar scatter and quickly made sure the door to the attic, his room, was locked.

Peter, as the rat had told him his name was, scurried into the room. Peter on the outside seemed like a rat in every sense of the word until you talked to him. It seemed he was the opposite of Remus in a sense, a human with just a taste of being something less than, to know to avoid it.

ya got any of that good cheese the rat squeaked. Remus rolled his eyes, Peter also had a very one tracked mind.

"sorry friend, no meals for me for a while" he stated matter of factly. Peter groaned as well as a rat could groan.

What did you do this time? You know you shouldn't egg them on.

"Why, little ol me?" Remus mock gasped, "I would never." then he laughed "Well I would and do, but not this time. This time it was because I forgot to clean the chicken coop a third time, silly me."

Peter looked stern

you could leave, tear them apart, you're a werewolf for merlins sake, you have magic, wandless magic most wizards would kill for it.

"you forget" Remus added bitterly "Most werewolves kill for it. Or well jealousy of it. doing wandless magic would be like waving a sign saying "hello, I'm a werewolf, incredibly dangerous and unstable, grab your pitchforks and torches, please, go ahead and kill me. Besides it's not like I can have my wand, its locked up remember." This much was true, his wand had been locked up since he had first been bitten. Peter squeaked in indignation, he didn't like when Remus spoke so casually about such things or used his wry sarcastic voice like such.

Remus would have continued if it weren't for the thudding of someone coming up the ladder to the attic. Peter started squeaking in fright.

"Shhh, Peter, be quiet, hide." Remus hissed, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice.

The trapdoor swung open and his father, Lyall Lupin, stepped in in disgust.

"You'll be getting a reprieve, lucky you." Remus tried not to perk up at this, knowing that the rest of the story was yet to come.

"The black family is holding a ball for their sons 19th birthday and we are invited. We, of course, means not you." Remus resisted scoffing, naturally.

The Lupins were high society and therefore high enough to be invited to many gatherings, occasions, balls, parties and such, even by the Black Family. To be honest, the black family mostly gained its respect and wealth from fear and other unsavory going ons.

still, he couldn't help the pang of remorse of knowing that he could never go to one, much less the blacks. He had heard that Sirius black, the heir to the blacks title, was a sight to behold.

Even with successfully having kept his emotions in check, one look of misery flying across his face was enough for punishment.

"crucio '' Lyall whispered, barely audible. but Remus's ears could hear it, Remus could recognize the hatred that would flare in his father's eyes, and the way his lips moved, and his arm raised ever so slightly. He would have known what was coming even without being a werewolf.

Remus didn't scream.

For the first 3 seconds at least. a new record, a small part of his brain laughed.

Finally after years, the pain ended and Remus was on all fours, choking up blood, and clawing at the floorboards.

Crucio was not a favorite in the Lupin household but it was used when deemed necessary, or ya know, when someone was just angry or stressed enough.

"Remember your place, monster. You do not, have not, and will not ever deserve to feel emotions. Emotions are for humans" Lyall sneered and then spat at Remus.

and with that he left, crying out a list of chores and a "We'll be back at 3 in the morning, have them completed by then."

Remus didn't dare nod. He sat in silence before he remembered that Peter was still in the room.

"Oh shit, Peter are you ok? SHit I'm so sorry you had to see that." While Remus had screamed whilst being taught his lesson, he had not cried. He frequently chalked that up to simply having no more tears left to cry, or that monsters simply didn't cry but as he saw Peter shaking in fear under his bed covers, his heart broke.

"Peter, shh, shh, hey, im ok, see im ok, everything's alright"

I should be comforting you! The cruciatus is illegal!

"so is a werewolf living unregistered."

thats different

"How so, please enlighten me between using a spell that makes you a monster and being a monster." Remus snapped.

Peter paused, then tried to keep his voice even.

Remus, you can't believe him, you are not a monster in any way shape or form, please tell me you don't believe him

"Oh really Peter, would a human be able to smell the fear on you, because I do, you're afraid Peter, afraid of me, afraid of the monster I am."

I am afraid for you, huge difference Peter retorted as calmly as he could muster. Remus sighed.

"I know, you're right, im sorry Peter. its- its been a long day, I think im going to take a walk"

don't be too long, its a full moon tonight.

"how could I ever forget" Remus said with a smile, and with that he left.

------------

Remus took a walk around the grounds, and finally collapsed on a stone bench by the moonflowers. ugh fucking moon flowers, he hated them. they only bloomed at night and only the magical ones bloomed on full moons.

Draping his arms and head across the bench as he knelt in the grass Remus sighed, trying to steady his breathing. In. Out. In. Out. but then the pace changed, the rhythm uneven, interrupted by hiccups, some breaths shallow, others unbearably deep like it was the first breath of air he'd ever had. Oh, he was crying, Remus realized. apparently he was still human enough to cry. Then he looked at the moon, steadily rising in the night sky and cried even harder.

"-i wish,I fucking wish" he hiccuped. "that I could just be fucking normal for one goddamn night, get dressed up even. Hell maybe I could go to the fucking black party." He mocked a posh voice "Wouldn't that be a ball" and he was laughing as he cried. He heard a rustle behind him, felt the shadow being cast on him and looked up.

A stag, a rather large one at that. That was odd, something about him reminded him of Peter.

it's dangerous to wish upon moonlight, hadn't you heard

"I think I've apparently preemptively paid my price, thanks for the concern." then Remus was looking at the stag oddly, he was different in the same way Peter was.

"besides," Remus continued conversationally, "I hear that werewolves come out on full moons, nasty things those werewolves are, can't trust them. You better run along before you get mauled."

you only change at midnight, I think im fine

this shocked Remus, he did not expect the stag to know he was a werewolf and was hoping for him to run along and let him continue being dramatic in the moonlight.

so about those wishes, what would you do for them

Remus could tell when someone was trying to change the topic, so he obliged.

"what would you do if you were in my situation?" Remus asked, not willing to play the stags games.

i would kill, hurt, take my revenge, my justice, take what's mine, my rights

"you and I are not very alike then, I don't think I ever could do that." This seemed to please the stag as it's upper lip curled just a bit.

please, call me James

and with that Remus felt the tingle of magic under his skin, yet it wasn't in a bad way like normal. Not understanding what was happening, but embracing the feeling, Remus shut his eyes, stood and let whatever the apparently magical deer wanted to happen, happen. Was it odd to say that he trusted this deer as much as Peter?

when Remus opened his eyes, he was wearing a white suit with blue and gold accents and he was standing in something hard, but not uncomfortable. He looked down. Fucking moonstone shoes. what the fuck. how were they not a) heavy as all get out b) uncomfortable as all get out and c) why there weren't literally any other material that wasn't moonstones.

"look while I appreciate being told I need fashion help,I don't think i-"

I'm not finished, the stag, James, said amused. then he turned around to a pumpkin in the garden.

Suddenly the pumpkin was growing, then it was paling in color, and then it was hollow, and then there were craters and oh shit, James , a deer, James the deer, had a fucked up sense of humor turning a pumpkin into a moon carriage that glowed in the other moons moonlight. Moon moon moon moon moon. Remus thought to himself in disgust. Remus just wished he understood what the punchline was.

"again, while I appreciate being told I need better wheels I still don't-" James laughed, or neighed, or whatever it was that stags did.

you're very impatient and then there was a rustle again, this time smaller

James turned around, not angry, not amused, but like something he had rather wished not to believe had made sense.

and look, now we have our mighty steed! James whipped his head around, and Remus cried out, recognizing Peter. Peter squeaked in fear and turned to run but was too slow. at an uneven pace his body began growing and shifting until he was a "mighty steed" as James put it

"Peter, are you ok, can you hear me?" the horse, Peter, nodded. James looked shocked, well as shocked as stag could look Remus supposed

you call him Peter?

"yes,I call you James and I call him Peter, there are these things called names you see, they're very funny" Remus retorted, angry that his friend had been turned into a horse

"Look mr.I would murder someone stag,I don't appreciate my friend being turned into a horse and would rather you tell me what's going on or turn him back this instant." James grinned,

for a smart one you can be stupid. I thought it was obvious, you have to arrive at the black mansion in style of course.

Remus gaped, no he couldn't do this, what if he was caught by his family, what if he hurt someone, what if he-

as he started to voice these complaints to James he was cut off

you've got one shot at normal, maybe even turning your life around, will you take it?

Remus didn't know if he could bear tasting normalcy and then having it ripped away from him but he couldn't bear it either way so he nodded.

good, because otherwise all this transfiguration would've gone to waste.

"transfiguration- wait- how do you , can you-"

well would you look at the time, the party's about to start, hop on lets get going, no time to dawdle and James nudged Remus into the carriage where Peter had hooked himself up begrudgingly.

"wait why are you doing this, what are you?"

who knows, maybe I'm your fairy godmother or something, did you ever think of that hmm, and frankly,I don't care.

and with that, James was gone.

----------

Sirius sighed. He would have much preferred a quiet celebration with his best mates Peter and James but sure, why not, throw a lavish party, thank you.

Still it's not like he could complain, he liked dancing, he liked people, sometimes, and he liked meeting young men. Sirius knew part of the reason why his mother was hosting this party, so he could find a nice wealthy respectable lady, get hitched, get her prego and create another bundle of tiny blacks.

Not like that would ever happen if men kept looking the way they did, and that didn't appear to be stopping anytime soon so he got ready for the ball.

An hour of prep later, freshly showered and clothed in a black suit with red and gold accents, standing in front of the mirror Sirius was wondering if he should even go to this party in his honor. He could just bail, it's not like he didn't already know all of the men going and that they were all pretty damn straight. and boring, can't forget boring. He could just grab James and Peter, get some firewhiskey and waste the night away, yeah that sounded nice.

Speaking of James and Peter, he was beginning to get worried. Peter had been pretty flighty as of late saying shit like he was seeing his "werewolf friend named Remus that was being abused" honestly, Peter should have outgrown imaginary friends, but that seemed rude to say so Sirius went along with it. He was beginning to grow rather concerned as Peter's description of his, Remus's, abuse was growing rather vivid, and very violent. James on the other hand, well they were attached at the hip. while the blacks and potters didn't necessarily historically get along very well, that had never stopped James and Sirius. maybe he was out prancing in his animagus form? He had been doing that a lot too lately as well. Or maybe he was trying to woo lily, who knew?

finally, James showed up, a half hour before the party started covered in leaves and looking magically exhausted muttering something about "a moon, a giant moon, damn im so fucking good" and laughing to himself.

"Oi James, fucking finally? Where have you been? does this mean we're skipping" James swayed a little in place and Sirius immediately fetched him some water. At the word skipping James straightened up, trying to keep a calm face.

"No no no, it's your 19th birthday. I think you should go, I have a feeling this one'll be special."

that was odd. James and Sirius both knew that his birthday often turned into a shit show as they both grew bored with the company and the whole thing in general and decided to plan a monstrous prank. not something "special." giving up trying to understand the inner workings of James's mind Sirius sighed and said simply

"i have a green suit that will go nicely with your eyes in my closet, get the leaves out of your hair, try to make yourself presentable and I'll go get it" James grinned that classic James grin and saluted

did not mean to hit send yet whoops

"yessir" and began fussing with his hair trying to get leaves and sticks out. Sirius rummaged around in his closet, still worrying about Peter. when he voiced this to James, James merely grinned wider and said "I think he's hanging out with his werewolf friend"

"On my birthday?" Sirius whined James laughed and said simply

"as much as it tries to, the world does not revolve around you."

Sirius sighed dramatically once more, looked at the time, and got ready to go greet his arriving guests

-------------

Remus's family was wealthy, he knew that much, but what he did not know was that his wealth was inconsequential in comparison to the blacks.

a mass of black brick, gargoyles and buttresses that was the black mansion spread across the horizon as the steady line of extravagant carriages grew nearer.

Remus swallowed his nerves and adjusted his hair and after what seemed like ages they arrived. Remus tentatively walked the steps, not trying to feel self conscious as he was walking alone, while everyone else was in groups of around 3 or more.

"name sir?" Oh shit, Remus forgot about this part, the overly dramatic "hey let's announce your whole presence so your abusive family knows you disobeyed them and shit" part. panicking, Remus said baldar io. baldar after one of the arabic words for moon and io after jupiter's moon. shit. he just named himself moon moon.

"SIR BALDAR IO" the man cried out, and more than a few heads turned, at this unfamiliar name.

Remus shrunk under the attention and decided he would make his way over to the buffet as gracefully as possible when the large double doors at the end of the room flung open. Out walked a woman and three men, all with jet black hair. Remus would have assumed that they were all related if it weren't for the jet green eyes of one of them, while the others had a stark grey.

Remus couldn't help it, he was a little amused, and a little disappointed. The infamous blacks were rather ordinary looking, the younger one, that Remus assumed must be Sirius, had short black hair and a hollow gaze. and Then all of them shifted, and Remus's eyes widened as a hush filled the room.

"the young Sirius black!" the woman, his mother, announced. Sirius black was more than Remus could have ever imagined beauty to look like.

his hair was long and black, obviously, but it curled at odd romantic angles, his jawline looked like it was sharp enough to kill, but would settle for helping give gentle kisses instead, his eyes lacked the piercing violent ferocity that the other 3 blacks had, but looked as though it's own ferocity was nothing to be mocked.

Remus openly gaped, and even heard a couple of chuckles around him as people noticed.

the man, Sirius black looked bored yet intrigued by the whole thing, like he was waiting for something special to happen but was disappointed it hadn't happened yet.

Remus had to leave he had to get out, shit how could he even be in the same room as this man without combusting he would never know as he turned to leave, Remus realised he was gathered in the middle of the dance floor with everyone else and the music began to swell.

shit shit shit shit shit.

"I can't help to notice you're looking a little lost." without turning around Remus chuckled

"you would have noticed correctly then"

"So what brings you to the dance floor if not to dance?"

"I was-" Remus turned around and silently gasped, Sirius black was standing in front of him, smirking.

"well then, shall we show them all up and dance absolutely divinely, badar io?"

"I-I'm afraid I wouldn't be doing much showing up as I have no clue what this is,"

"Well you see, this is called a waltz, Shostakovich Waltz No 2 to be precise." Remus rolled his eyes at sirus's teasing.

"Believe it or not I can recognize shostakovich when I hear it, I mean, I do not know how to dance to it. this one looks very specific." Sirius's face broke out into a full fledged grin as he said

"No better time to learn than the present, and I happen to be an excellent partner."

"And a modest one too" Remus said dryly as he awkwardly shuffled, not knowing what to do with his limbs

Sirius noticed and took pity on Remus as he gently grabbed Remus's wrists, and guided the left hand to his shoulder, the right enclosed in his own and then sirus's hand was on his waist, unconsciously circling the fabric there with his thumb. Remus's breath hitched. He was in for a long night.

--------

this one, this one was funny, he was interesting, bloody gorgeous, and best of all, as gay as Sirius was. He had recalled hearing the unfamiliar name "badar io" and was immediately intrigued, but also confused when James laughed like this was the funniest thing since his first prank.

James, taking mercy on Sirius's confused and desperate expression, happened to point out the young rugged looking man that was confused on the dance floor.

And so Sirius had walked up to him, smirking, laying on the Sirius style charm, and then he didn't know how to dance which Sirius really shouldn't have found as endearing as he did, and then, one itsy bitsy final test, Sirius put his hand on badars waist, circling it, very consciously mind you, with his thumb and did a victory dance in his head as badar's breathe hitched.

he was at least a little gay alright.

So the night went and Sirius had only eyes for badar, and it seemed badar only had eyes for him, but more so than in the "hey it's Sirius black, how cool is that" way. like Sirius was his own person, interesting and attractive, and Sirius could've drowned in that look the entire night.

Instead he settled for flirting and far too personal questions. He had never really had the time or patience for small talk and this man was obviously his soulmate.

Sirius had had no belief in soulmates whatsoever until he laid eyes on badar. and his beliefs were only confirmed as he had begun to relax, get into the flow of the music, crack wry and witty jokes, and eventually flirt back.

Sirius had held no belief in true love either, or love at first sight, but as he was quickly learning, he needed to open his mind more.

"favorite color" Sirius asked, dead serious. ha, serious he thought, the pun never failing to amuse him. badar laughed, a sound Sirius thought might possibly be his favorite in the whole wide world.

"You go from, biggest fear, greatest insecurities, what are some of the morals you live by, do you believe in second chances to what's your favorite color?" badar laughed again. "you seem to enjoy doing things backwards. it's silver. What about you?" Sirius stared intently into badars eyes and his answer had changed from the usual red or maroon to a brilliant gold, just like badars own irises

"gold"

"ah yes like your suit which is not at all gaudy in any way shape or form"

"Oi ill have you know this suit is top of the line thankyouverymuch."

"I'll have you know that top of the line can be gaudy, thankyouverymuch"

Sirius laughed for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"do you want to get out of here," he asked?

badar coughed

"ar-are you propositioning me????"

"what- OH- oh no no no, shit, no,Ithought we could go into the garden, give you a break, check out the lights and talk some more maybe?"

"oh, ok, that sounds lovely. but ill have you know I'm not accepting because im tired, im accepting because you look tired and Iobviously have far to much stamina for you"

Sirius laughed again, but truth be told, he wanted to see how much stamina badar really had, he wanted to-

coughing and adjusting himself, he led badar out to the back gardens.

--------------

The blacks had certainly not spared any expense when it came to floriculture, the garden was decked out in strongylodon macrobotrys, chocolate cosmos, dendrophylax lindenii, shenzen nongke orchids and-

Remus laughed, moonflowers, but only magical ones. only ones that bloomed on full moons,

It was odd, hearing Sirius laugh and pay attention to him like he was the most interesting person in the world.

It was odd, hearing himself be referred to as badar.

it was odd, he rather liked badar, it was like an alter ego, a persona, except it felt real. With a start, Remus realized that was because he was simply being his genuine self.

it was odd, seeing the usually confident Sirius black shyly not make eye contact as his soft hands intertwined with Remus's.

It was odd, feeling his own arm move over to run his fingers through Sirius's soft hair.

it was odd, being close enough to count his eyelashes, to feel his breath on his lips, to see every detail of his eyes-

it was odd feeling soft lips pressed against his own for the very first time

it was odd as he relaxed into Sirius's arms, as his eyes fluttered shut, as the tingling drifted from his stomach all the way to his finger tips.

It was odd trusting a person so completely and fully as he did Sirius, and have them not even know his real name.

His moment of bliss was interrupted as he heard an ominous dong of the giant clock in the garden.

Shit shit shit fuck shit fuck dammit fuck

Remus didn't know how he would handle going back, knowing the tenderness he was missing, the soft hands against his own, something kind and loving that was in the world, but he knew he must.

He pulled away frantic and said

"thank you, thank you so, so much- b- but-I really have to go." Sirius looked crestfallen at this but reached out and grabbed Remus's arm before he could fully flee.

"will I see you again" that set off the waterworks for Remus

"No, I don't think you will." The clock rang out again. and pulled Sirius in for one final chaste kiss. and then without knowing what he was doing he cried out "Remus Lupin!"

And he left, stumbling down the stairs of the garden that led into the forest, the one that connected with his own, leaving a moonstone shoe behind.

--------

when Remus woke up approximately an hour later (the moons were shorter when he was happy) He could remember feeling his paws pound against the forest floor. He could remember smelling home, he could remember only barely ripping out his own skin. Then he woke up, in a different kind of agony, like grieving a loss. Then he remembered the list of chores that had been left for him, that had barely seemed possible when he had an extra 3-5 hours to complete them. groaning he got to work.

Peter showed up, and was only mad at Remus for a little bit before he began trying to clean in his own little way.

finally after centuries, though it had only been two hours, Remus finished and, he tucked away his other moonstone shoe, (that for some reason had not transfigured back) and he fell into his bed and right before he fell asleep he could hear a door downstairs open, and the voices of his family walking in.

----------

Sirius was absolutely miserable it was three in the morning and he had gotten incredibly drunk with James and Peter immediately after badar had left. he didn't know why badar had left, why he cried out Remus Lupin, why he had kissed him so sweetly just to say he'd never see him again.

Sirius threw a pillow against the wall, feeling the impact of the sobering potion he had taken, and rubbed the moonstone shoe, the only thing that was reminding him that badar wasn't in fact a hallucination or a dream.

"James, he was just so perfect-Ijust-IthinkIlove him James,I Love him James and i'll never see him again, did you know there was never a badar io in our little town? He gave a fake name James!"

"what about the other name he gave, have you looked into it."

"What do you mean, other name- OH MERLIN ITS A NAME" A glimmer of hope shone in Sirius's eyes as he ran to the library where he knew there was a magic record of all legal documentation of families in their town. Was it illegal? yeah, but Sirius couldn't think about the morality of that right now, he was in love.

"Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin, Lupin Remus, Lupin Remus, Lupin Lupin Lupin ahA!" he cried out after flipping through pages, finally finding the Lupin line. "Remus, Remus, Remus" wait, that wasn't right, that couldn't be-

Remus Lupin, declared dead at age six, cause unknown signed- signed the entire Lupin family, what was going on, he looked down and saw a little photo and a sharp intake of breath could be heard behind him and honestly he did the same.

"James it-it says he's dead- but- but he felt- felt so- so- so- real" tears began to well in Sirius's eyes "How can he be dead?" but James wasn't paying attention, he was staring at the paper muttering

"they're worse than I thought I can't believe they would do that,I Can't believe-"

"James what's going on?" Sirius asked, his voice small.

"I guess you deserve to know,-"

James continued " what happens on a full moon?"

"What do you mean what happens on a full moon, James the hell?"

"What happens on a full moon at midnight" something clicked in Sirius's mind though he wasn't quite sure what yet.

"Werewolves but James what-"

"What would a wealthy, respectable family do if they had a son bitten by a werewolf at age six but couldn't kill him?"

"I Mean maybe fake his death and keep him hidden but don't see-HOLY SHIT" James nodded gravely.

"Those bastards, how could they do that to him!!!?!?"

"Before you decide to go charging in, you need to think, you're still the heir to the black family, think of something crazy, ridiculous and plausible that could get you safely into the Lupin household."

"Jamesy my boy, do you even know who you're talking to?" Sirius said with a mischievous grin

------

Sirius woke to the sound of giggling and his sisters running downstairs.

It was 11 in the morning, they had let the monster sleep him, how nice. He must have done a good job last night at cleaning. Gingerly he climbed down the ladder and stopped one of his sisters, Drizella.

"Drizella, what's going on? Remus queried. Drizella sniffed

"If you must know, Sirius black has announced he's looking for his true love, and whoever fits the shoe that was left behind by her!"

"Who's ‘her’?"

"Apparently he danced with one maiden and one maiden alone the entire night and she had to leave at midnight but didn't give him a real name and as he ran off, she left behind a moonstone shoe!"

A maiden now, was he? Remus chuckled in his mind and headed back to his room.

As he sat down, he pulled out the moonstone shoe and held it softly against his chest as a reminder of-

Suddenly he heard an outraged squeak to his left and saw his father standing in the trapdoor of the attic, looking royally pissed off, and then he saw the door shut, heard the key lock, all before he could get there

And then he was pounding on the door, splinters in his fists scrapes on his palms and then he heard "he's coming by today, your prince charming, and he will marry one of my daughters and you'll never, ever see him again."

Remus cried out and buried his face in his hands unsure of what to do.

This time hours went by, and Remus was sure they were hours because he counted every last second. Then he heard a scritching noise under his bed so he looked and out shot Peter, looking concerned as he could be

what'd you do this time to be trapped in here Peter squeaked, horrified.

"I wooed the ever charming Sirius black and that was a no no"

Peter sputtered nonstop, starting and restarting sentences, when at that moment something crashed into Remus's room from the window.

"What the-" Remus began but was cut off by the new black haired green eyed arrivals

"Ok so Sirius is down stairs getting ready to slip the shoe on your sisters, he would rather only try you but we didn't count on you being locked up here" wait, was that.... James?

a voice behind them piped up.

"We could try to explode the trapdoor!" Pete added- wait Peter? Remus whipped around and groaned Peter was not a rat, well not at the moment, but he was still Peter. Remus could smell him, could hear the intonations in his voice.

"Animaguses,I Should have bloody known"

James just grinned that classic James grin and continued. "you better hurry,Ithink you're father's gonna try to fight the magic that Sirius placed on the shoe."

"what magic, why would he need magic."

"well, he kind of said... thathewouldmarrywhoevertheshoefit, because they would obviously be the one he danced with all night, and then-" James trailed off, thinking of words.

"-he knew that people would "be dying to get their paws on him maritally," his quote, not mine and so he placed a spell that the shoe would only fit the person it last belonged to but there are ways to overcome a spell and you're fathers attempting them right now also a sacred oath may or may not be involved in the whole 'ill marry whoever the shoe fits' thing."

"if the shoe fits, wear it" Remus muttered under his breath and then louder continued "Okey dokey so we don't have time to unpack all that but first- why this whole finding the feet of my 'princess' thing? if he really wanted to see me couldn't he have just, i don't know, broken down doors to find me or something."

"Always the romantic, Remus" Peter rolled his eyes.

"well, see, he's the heir to the black title, and well as much as he would love to abandon it all, he thinks he has a chance to use all that wealth and influence for good." Remus vaguely remembered Sirius implying something of the sort last night so he nodded, and James continued "so he couldn't just waltz in peoples houses being like 'ayo, are yalls Remus Lupin, lets get funky if you are' and such so thus, the extravagant plan was hatched." Remus laughed, that was just so like Sirius to do that it was ridiculous.

then at that moment a scream could be heard downstairs. shit

The three of them paled and Sirius and Peter ran over to the trap door, having a heated conversation back and forth about "what could we do" "uh levicorpus" "thats an ankle levitation charm, idiot." "Well maybe it would have levitated the ankle of the trap door and we could have gotten out." Peter hissed back, but Remus was barely paying attention to them.

He was instead, looking out the broken window James had crashed in on. realizing what must be done, Remus stepped on the window sill, and jumped.

To be honest, Remus had never tried to jump from 3 stories before but he could do 2, so what was one entire story difference? A lot apparently as he landed on his ankle with a thud, there was only so much a non moon werewolf could do.

Not letting it deter him and ignoring the confused cries from James and Sirius, Remus ran around to the front door.

when he finally arrived he could hear muffled sobs from Anastasia and his father's cold, uncaring voice. Not wasting another second Remus flung open the door, rage in his face.

Remus gasped as he entered the room, seeing the pile of blood at Anastasia's feet, seeing Drizellas shocked expression that she was next, seeing his father's frigid and determined expression, and his mother's sickly face that looked like she was regretting many things. Lyall had cut off her toes to fit the shoe. The bastard.

tired, ageless rage filled Remus and he was about to make good use of his werewolf wandless magic but stopped when he saw Sirius's confused, terrified, and admittedly freaked out face about the whole toe thing turn into one of relief and unmitigated joy. That stopped Remus cold in his tracks.

No, he'd made it this far in life with being a werewolf without killing anyone,no, he'd made it this far in life without being a monster and he wasn't about to change that now. Remus waved his hand and Drizella gasped as Anastasia's toes stitched themselves to her foot. Then he pointed his index finger at lyall.

His father was flung against the wall, pinned by an invisible force. Remus stepped forward coldly. He thought of everything he felt for Peter, Sirius, and even James, the meddling bastard. He thought of how it felt to be in Sirius's arms, how it felt to have them taken away and any lingering doubts disappeared.

"I am more human than you will ever be" Remus hissed and with that he dropped him, leaving him gasping for air.

Sirius recognized his cue and got on one knee, presenting the no longer blood covered shoe, thanks to a quick cleaning charm.

"hey Remus, sorry about all this."

"it's dramatic and gaudy and undeniably you,I wouldn't have it any other way."

Sirius grinned at this, and said "you know,I don't think you should ever consider a future in fortune telling, you said I would never see you again, and look where we are."

Remus's voice cracked "you have no idea how glad I am I was wrong." he whispered.

Sirius gestured to the shoe and Remus's scratched up bare feet, "may i" he asked nervously.

Remus slipped his foot into the shoe cautiously and then there was bright blinding light emerging from the shoe and then all at once it stopped.

Remus was standing in the suit he had been wearing the night before and so was Sirius.

Unable to help it, he flung into Sirius's open arms, needing to reacquaint himself with the feeling.

tenderly, Sirius tipped Remus's chin up

"hi" was all Sirius said, but this time it was Remus who closed the gap.

"hello, my names Remus, soon to be black I think at this point" Sirius beamed at this and said

"Remus black, I think I rather like that, well at least a lot more than moon moon" he teased, Remus laughed

"I panicked ok?"

"and so your instinct was just 'moons'? I'll have to keep that in mind in case I ever spring anything on you. 'hey babe can you do the dishes' 'uh hi my names esmeray ophelia'"

"ah, resorted to the dishwasher,I take it my fortune telling career did not go so well."

"Nope, i'm afraid it didn't, but it's so nice that you have an incredibly wealthy boyfriend/fiance/husband thing, how nice is that."

"Yes I am eternally grateful for my sugar daddy, my glucose guardian, my carbohydrate caretaker, my sucrose sweetheart-" Sirius laughed, and put his hands up in defeat

"you win, you win"

and Remus thought of all that he had gained in a matter of a day, his humanity, the love of his life, friends that were actually human (that part was rather weird and he was still reeling) and an escape from his family.

"Yes I rather think I did" and closed the distance once more

27 notes · View notes

just-some-random-blogger · 5 years

Text

The Soup

Super Junior Super Junior x SuJuMaknae!Reader Characters: Super Junior (ot13 [+ SJ-M]) Summary: Just like the way you need to give someone soup when they're sick, this is how SuJu reacts when you need them. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: CRACK, fluff, humor, gnarlyness, etc.

A/N: i need a pick me up so i made this. It’s low key a part 2 to Secrets Of A Maknae, but not really because, well, it’s not HAHAHHAHA, but hello @farewellkorosensei, i’m tagging you cos u said u wanted a part two and i had a part two in mind but then i lost it so now you have this HAHHAHHAHA im sorry im like this

ALSO A DISCLAIMER

THIS IS FICTION IF YALL somehow THOUGHT IT WASNT

none of this is real bro that’s why its an au ?????? ok like ok

Being the only girl in a coed group that’s basically a boy group is not as bad as one may think

Especially since you're the youngest out of everyone, some people just cannot imagine how you do it

Sure like... being the only female means the testosterone thrown your way can be a lot

And there are just some things the guys can't and will never understand

Like how a woman's mind works

But through it all however

You loved being the baby princess

Because you have 13 knights at your side

anD IF EVEN ONE PERSON TRIED TO HURT YOU WELL

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH

good luck to them

And in case you were wondering, SuJu is not as sweet as you think

LIKE YES THEY’RE OBVIOUSLY THERE FOR EACH OTHER BUT

here's how each member would react to you needing them

ps yall

dis shiz is HELLLAAAA LONG SO it’s under the cut

Being the eldest meant Leeteuk found everyone as his responsibility

BOY ESPECIALLY IF THEY'RE NOT EVEN IN SUPER JUNIOR LAJSIQBSUHWBSLAIDYLAWUDLKHKK;

and to you, who is in his group, their youngest AND only female member, he would drop everything for

Everyone who's watched korean TV knows this

cos yall do tv show hostings togther

and everybody knows how soft he is around you

like i mean he’s naturally caring towards everyone

and he’s normally high-spirited with others

BUT YOU TAKE THE CAKE

like you + him equals shenanigans like firecrackers

he does 8999+ dad jokes when you’re his co-host

someone save s.korea

but let us not forget is is the EPITOME of gentleman

he always offers his arm to you

he takes of his jacket or gets a blanket for you to cover your legs when you sit

errbody is like “stfu, we get it stop flexing”

you two are just like “??????????????????? bro fLeXiNg whUAT?”

“i get yall are married n in love but like. pls keep it under wraps.”

“BROOOO HAHAHHAHAH WE’RE JUST FRIENDS”

and then ????????????

mmmmhmmmm

we believe you

cos its all we can do tho

and i mean you two aren’t married but are so too tbh

ELF’s call you two the parents of SuJu

and think you two are sO ADORABLE IT HURTS

anyway

He is definitely the most understanding with you through the age gap you have

And even if he finds some of your actions odd due to that age gap, he always works through it and tries to think proactively

"What are you doing????????"

"IM DOING A CHALLENGE OPPA YOU WANNA JOIN?!" you say as you attempt to put on makeup with your non-dominant hand

THE AMOUNT OF TIMES HE'S WALKED INTO YOU DOING SOMETHING WEIRD IS BEYOND FATHOM

But if you need him

He.

Will.

Be.

There.

Doesn't matter if he's hosting 287378 tv shows at the moment

If you call because some loser broke your heart

He's taking the day off

If you call just to check in and he hears even a hint of sickness in your voice

biTCH MOVE OVER. HE GOT SOME PORRIDGE

He would take care of you even if he was also sick

He would find a way to go to you even if you were halfway across the world

You cant even get mad @ him cos you will and have done the same woops

IF SOMEONE EVEN TEST U YOU WILL BREAK THEM 4 LEETEUK

and obvi we have to add

his dog Shimkung prolly loves you more than him, just sayin

She runs to you and ignores Leeteuk when youre around

Because she loves playing with you

And she loves your energy

And the attention you give her

And the treats you bring

And because everyone loves you

And Leeteuk cant even because he loves you too

Woooooops

Yall listen up

If you think heechul is scary by himself

Try bringing up SuJu's maknae up

I dare you

Just mention your name

and he WILLLLLL EXPLODE

Doesnt matter if it's praise

He Will BE TRIGGGGGEERREEDD

there’s literally an entire 20 (and going) part video comp. of his ears steaming when you’re brought up

like the mere thought of you is already to set him off

It doesn't even phase him if the person who spoke of you is younger or older

The death threats he will sputter is limitless

his tongue is sharper than silver

And the deadliest death glare that's thrown may cause a heart attack.

strangely enough though

but knowing heechul, not strange enough

he is ALWAYS THE FIRST to throw you under the bus

during interviews

ESPECIALLY IF THEY’RE LIVE I CANT

and yall always bicker about the dumbest shit

everyone is like, “wait, they’re not the ones that are married?”

the answer is no

but honestly,

He's broken up with someone because of you

Because they were mean to you, i mean

And because he was tired of them too hekhek

and lyk Heechul may be short

But nothing is stopping him from getting into a fist fight with someone 1000+ ft taller than him.

Ok.

That may be a slight lie cos he'd prolly call the rest of the guys and 5672 security guards to be on his side.

would honestly fite anyone for you

any AND everyone to be honest

He's also very picky with your boyfriends

"Ya, he looks like a womanizer."

"Ya, he looks like an idiot."

"Ya, he smells like woman's perfume."

"Ya, he smells like cigarettes."

"Ya, I don't understand what you see in him."

"Ya, I can't believe you're wasting your time with him."

"Ya, why are your standards so low when you know a guy like me?"

"Ya,"

"Ya."

"YA!"

"You can do better."

and you’re kinda just like, “y dont u just look for a guy for me? or better yet, if you think you’re so great, why don’t you just date me?”

“pshhhh, as if, i’m too pretty for you, child”

is what heechul always says

to you and to everyone who asks why you aren’t dating

he also does’t ever answer your calls

cos he’s always too busy with his video games or selfies

so you get really frustrated when you call him to come over and he doesn’t call

but like

he’s somehow already at your house

????

cos you needed him and he knew that

????

idek either bro

he has a sixth sense with ya gurl

HE IS SUCH A DAD TOO

***NOT DADDY

DAD BECAUse

he will baby the heck out of you every moment he gets

but not in public cos his image

also he’s never one to flaunt even with his personality

he CUDDDLESSSS THE HECK out of you

and kinda makes himself clingy for the sake of endorphins

cos he is your happy pill

and your go to man when the world just sucks hard

he gives pretty solid advice

like the ones where you really need some

because he’s never one to sugar coat and will tell you youre a bitch if you are being one

and because of how he is, when he gets soft with you, you know he means it because he’s a broken brick most of the time

he’s also who you normally vent out your problems and burning frustrations to

not that he listens

you mostly just assault him and he takes it

JOKE HE ASSAULTS YOU RIGHT BACK

but somehow that’s therapeutic for both of you ???

smdh

i’d add heechul’s pets

BUT THAT BOY HAS A ZOO

and maybe i’m just shimkung biased lolol

ANYWAY the gist of you and his pets is that you love them and they love you

the end

bro

don’t even get me started on yesung

you know how he likes to think he’s all that

how he’s like really good at singin

wHICH HE IS UHM HAVE YOU NO EARS

but he’s like actin all airy sometimes

whICH IS Y u and eunhyuk havE A BALL MESSIN WITH HIM

EUNHYUK + U = YESUNG CANNOT LIVE

someone save Yesung from his retarded dongsaengs

lol but eunhyuk comes later

anyway, he’s airy

that side of him comes in handy 4 u

because he makes for a gr8 hypeman

letz be real

SUPER JUNIOR together is the loudest bunch of morons that will hYPE YOU DO YOUR DEATH

but you cant keep havin that when you go to award shows

YOU TRIED IT ONCE AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE AWW DATS CUTE

IT’S FKIN NOT BITSH

try havin your ears pierced with screaming every time you’re even remotely related to what the host is talking about

anyway back to yesung

he be your date to eveything

cos he ALWAYS has time to be all that

i mean you bring specific members to the specific events they fit into

u’ll understand laterz

but mostly yesung is your man for the job

cause he’s always available

you know when he’s not touring or holding concerts

whenever you need a date

he puts on all his extra accessories and offers you his arm on the red carpet

or just holds your hand cause it’s easier on his part

AND BOY HE’S ANNOYINGLY LOUD FOR YOU THE ENTIRE TIME

IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTer if it’s for some black suit event

he’s prOLLY GON BUST A MOVE and promote SJ’s black suit while he’s at it what a turd

he’s so loud in fact that you’ve reached a point past embarrassment

ur like, “Yeah, he’s my loud date. problem?”

honestly, yall have to be dumb not to see how in love you two are

there are theories on how you two ARE the one true pair

like the way yesung looks at you when you’re striking a pose

answering a question

thanking someone

receiving an award

laughing at a joke

existing in general

and you RIGHT BACK @ him

only an idiot would

but haha

nope.

just friends too

Y U ALWAYZ LYIN

ye but itz trueeeeee

no matter how fancy you get

or domestic

cos did i mention you two do the lamest things too

like there is no in between

you go buy groceries

tour Gangnam

hand in hand obviously, duh, you do it every time you’re together

as with every member of super junior but yall already knew

i think i strayed too far from my point

point is he’s there to hang out and do nothing

cos thats what both of you are good for anyway

nothing

btw he’s who you bring shopping for clothes

but only like the nice kind you feel me

you’ll get that in a little while too

but like you always go to high-end stores together

never couture tho cos why ??

and YOU GUYS DO MAKEUP TUTORIALS BECAUSE OMG HE’S SUCH A VAIN AND LIKES TO PRETEND HE CAN ACTUALLY DO MAKEUP UGH I HATE HIM

he’s the one you treat like your diary mostly

the everyday stress you have piled up he’s the one you sift through with

like you tell him all the mundane things

and he’d nod uninterested

and then you’d stop cuz you realiized he doens’t care

and then he’d get mad and be all like “Ya, why’d you stop, what happened to the leaf you kicked?”

i think imma stop here cos you get it

yall good for nothing HAHAHH

you and kangin get into the stickiest shit every time your crackheads team up

and being the loyal one you are

you always point and blame him when things hit the fan

and he’s always like “Me?”

and then points right back at you

you’re reactions to each other are fandom memes fml

and you’d think with all the treachery you pull on each other you would never be able to count on Kangin

but that is so DAMN FAR from the truth

cos this boy is insufferably thoughtful when it comes to you

his favoritism shows

like he’ll sell super junior for a 1 cent

BUT YOU ARE NOT PART OF THAT DEAL

he’s usually the one that shoos the guys off when they’ll all up on your ass

he’s also the one to kick heechul when he gets too annoying

or anyone in general

He’s usually your partner in crime when it comes to screwing up SJ’s image

and you havE THIS SIGNATURE ESCAPE ROUTINE WHEN THINGS GO SIDEWAYS

“it wasn’T ME!” you both shout, and then you jump on Kangin’s back and he runs away.

and yes there is also a compilation of you morons doing that for 15 minutes straight in multiple languages

dumb shit

he’s not as big as teasing you as Heechul

but he usually calls you ugly, that’s who you are to him

if you’re texting someone, it’s usually him

you send him ideas for a prank or sm shit

and he’s like imma do you one better

and then you just burn SM to the group bwahahaHAHAHAHAHAHHA

kidding

not kidding

you guys dont actually get to hang out often

but wHen you do there is a warning signal

and idek y yall pretend to be pranking someone else

but yall end up stabbin each other anyway

But there is also those times when you just cry

and he’s there to listen

he’s not as understanding as his hyungs, cos Leeteuk knows what to do, Heechul knows what to say, and Yesung knows how to remember the important things

but he is always there

he tells you as much as he can

and he aint dumb he can say a lot

but he’ll mostly just try to brighten up your day

by telling you a plan to attack one of the members

ANDDDDDDD

PIGGY BACK RIDES

as ive mentioned before, you jump on his back when you skedaddle out of the scene you just caused

which have caused an uproar from many

your company mostly has to fend off rumors of you and him being together the second most

youll find out who soon enough

but back to you an Kangin

he usually offers to give you a piggy back ride

even tho he doesn’t really want to

when you’re down

cos u smol child like to be carried

ew grow up sis

BTW HE WILL FITE ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU THAT

dats all i got fam

you and Shindong work the third most together outside super junior

dats obviously behind Leeteuk

and #2 who will be revealed later

and actually, you two have a very serious and business-like mindset when you’re together

which is why his skillz fly when you collab

you have youtube channel together that’s just u two posting vids you guys want to do

yall fund it urselvs and get some of ur friends to join in

WHICH FANS, ELF AND OTHERWISE LOVE

that’s why you normally go to him when you need help with work

meaning if you’re unsure if you should do a drama he’s going to lay down the points 4 u

he usually acts like your manager

and visits you the most when you’re on set

he’s who de-stresses you when you’re working

and the one who you can count on to back you up when someone at work needs to have a little piece of your mind

he’s who you call up when you want to share an idea or a vision

and is the one to more than others root for you and help you all throughout

whenever works stresses you out,

you two do something fun together

watch a film

annoy one of the other members

etc

you call him up when you have a crazy idea

you call him up when you have a song or plot in mind

you call him up when you are in need of advice

though sometimes his advice is to go to leeteuk or heechul

cos he knows he has limits

which is why you love him

because he’s real and never pretends to know more than he does

with that said though, he does know a lot

and will tell you all he knows about whatever it is you are asking about

you guys do a lot of live streams as well

sometimes its pointless

sometimes its intorspective

but most times its pointless af

and most times yesung is crying in the distant not-so-distant background

cos like i said yall hangout the most

so sometimes shindong gets into the mix

and you do the weirdest shiz in front of camera

the amount of role plays you’ve done that made viewers go ???? is uncountable smh

like like

where you’re an astronaut

and you need to tell the emperor of goryeo he’s going to be assassinated

and then yesung is the emperor’s horse

and yall die of laughter

or that time yall kissed “by accident”

and none of yall were surprised

and everyoNE WAS LIKE I KNEW IT

and you both ended up laughing

and then everyone was like? >?????

?????

idek either tbh

or that one time you were a cake

as in a chocolate cake

running away from an orge

which was yesung

and shindong was the exterminator that kept hitting him with a pillow whenever he’d talk

i cant believe

you think yesung’s had enough with you and eunhyuk

speaking of...

eunhyuk + u is quite like u + kangin

ppl pray for you to get separated

like pls

and then when you add DONGHAE

the world wants to implode and delete itself

eunhyuk is your usually your fake boyfriend

joke, he’s the fake love triangle interest

you’ll get that later

anyWAY

you say all the time every time you get the chance to that the reason why you dance half as good as you do now is because of eunhyuk

you make his ego fly through the roof

and he’s always like

dawwwww stop

no keep going

which is why if for whatever reason you need a dancer or a choreographer or anything between those lines

you call eunhyuk

or jung yunho but that’s not the point

point is the world explodes when there is a sexy suju concept

because you and eunhyuk are always paried up

the flexibility and coordination of your bodies

leaves the world thirsty

eunhyuk is pregnant because of you

Dem body rolls

Shimi-shimi

The dehydration is real

you two just do something in sync

AND THE WorLD canNOT

EVEN IF YOU DID IT BY ACCIDENT

and surprise even both of you

the world cannot

whenever you do a show together they make you do so many dances

cant blame them tho, u two be bomb

point is he’s normally your dance partner in almost everything super junior

and 73% not super junior

but beyond that he is also your bestest buddy

and since it’s a package deal, most of the time donghae is there

yall do everything from wacky antics

to window shopping

to roller coaster riding

to just lying around talking about life

actually, yall pranked the world by saying your were going out once

and thE WORLD BLEW UP

HOW FKING DARE

WE KNEW IT ASHKSDHASDHA

but then yall were like “oh we be playin yall”

EVERYONE WAS SO MAD

LIKE YALL EVEN HAD THE MEMBERS BELIEVING

DONGHAE CRIED BECAUSE HE FELT SO BETRAYED THAT HE DIDNT KNOW

HEECHUL CALLED BULL THO

BUT EVERYONE WAS HELLLLLLA MAD BOUT THIS

When you went sikE Leeteuk wasnt surprised

and everyone gave you shit for so long

Ryeowook vowed to kill both of you

kangin thought it was pretty good though

Eunhyuk and you normally go to parties together

and because you are a d U M b fking drunk

he’s always the one who cleans up after you

because you vomit

and cry

and try to kiss everyone

which is why you have safely kissed everyone in super junior when you're wasted

eunhyuk especially

there are pics to prove it

but eunhyuk doesn;t mind

he’d rather be kissed by your vomit flavored mouth than have some ho try to do something to you

he gets really unsettled when other guys come into the picture

he’ll karate chop A morOn

DARE HIM I SWEAR

ya think he be small

but he be strong

those dance moves are his weapon

KA PAW BISH

and we def cant end this without saying

he makes you hangover soup

and all that jazz

when you wanna work out or feel sick

you call eunhyuk

i mean leeteuk loves you but you cant move an inch with that boy

so its eunhyuk

unless you wanna be lazy and need a mom (so leeteuk)

honestly i cheated with that lord almighty part

ARG IM SO SORYY IDEK WHY I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY WHEN I LOVE EUNHYUK SO MUCH

ZHOUMI IS THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE

OR AT LEAST YOU SAY EVERYTIME YOU GET WHEN YOU SEE HIM

which you wish would be a lot more than not

IF you have anything to do in China

it’s zhoumi everyday

he’s who taught you how to speak the language and the one who makes fun of you the most because of your prononciation

but you know obviously its all in good fun

you host some shows together

youve stared in a bunch of chinese mini dramas together

but most of all, you two do a bunch of variety

which people LOVE SO MUCH

liiiiiiiiiike

if you werent so busy with the rest of the world

china would love to keep you for themselves

but anyway back to zhoumi

as i said he be the love of your life

because he’s literally everything you look for in a guy

tall, handsome, smart even though he does DUMB THINGS I CANT BE--

but the only reason why you’re not dating him is

IS BECAUSE YOU ARENT

I have no explaination

you are dating though

like outwardly

it’s like an unspoken thing

where you are dating but youre not and everyone around you agrees

???

kinda

yeh

with all the chinese variety you’ve done

yall have pretty questionable photos and footage together

why is you hand in his mouth

why are you two in one pair of trousers

why are you crying over literal eggshells

why are you laughing at him dressed up in a suit

why is he making heart eyes at you when you;re wearing clown makeup

why is he making heart eyes in general

why are you making heart eyes in general

idk man

what

waht

idek

but what you do know is this

there’s this entire ten page article about how he punch some rich guy in shanghai that tried to get too close and zhoumi threw a punch

yes

out of all the boys in the band who’s said they’d punch a moron on the nose

zhoumi as actually the only one who has had the displeasure of doing just that

It was quite the talk of the town

Honestly many were scared for zhoumi

U and him counted

and the rich moron even threatened to sue

but you pointed out that there was footage in the place and that he’d lose so he should just walk away

of course he walked away

and so yeah

but obviously the sonavbish tried to get rid of any footage

And make it look like an assault

It was to be like an even bigger scandal

but you being a smart bitch that has starred in many dramas with the exact same plot already had a copy and so you won that battle

and zhoumi ‘s career was not ruined

he was even hailed a hero for all the no duh reasons

Yeah he can throw a punch

zhoumi is so soft for you though

and you for him

he’s usually the one who takes your mind off of things

but you hang out the least out of everyone due to sched differences

that doesn’t mean you dont make time for each other though

OKAY NOW FOR EVERYONE’S FAVORITE BB DONGHAE

donghae that knows all your secrets

knows all your dog stories

all your accidental injuries

all your fails

all your successes

it may take a few moments to jump start and access his mental archive

but its there

and Donghae has been your boyfriend on many many occasions

whether or not it be fake or real the world will never know

you guys are the most intimate with each other

like you guys are so casual

and comfortable

that Leeteuk tells you guys off

HeechUL GETS UNCOMFOTABLE

h e e c h u l

even suju separates you on their own will sometimes

and both of you are like

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

donghae is a certified soft boi

and his softness is amplified when you’re together

PDA is second nature to you two

many hand holds

many cuddles

many suggles

platonic?

... sure

and it doesn’t matter where you two are

public

private

interview

korea

japan

america

narnia

nothing stops you from being touchy

people ask you about it all the time

but once again

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway donghae is the go to guy for heart to heart conversations

because he has a heart of gold

the softest purest gold

and he really understands and empathizes

he cries with you over dog movies

and listens to your frustrations

and you listen to him cry

and talk about his feelings

FEELINGS

and you tie it all up by making each other smile

he actually gives really good advice

i mean they all do give good advice at a point

but donghae’s are actually quite on point

even though people think he’s slow

it’s probably because he’s once connected at the hip to you

he’s the one you talk to about boy problems and relationship problems

because he’s the only one that isn’t weirded out about the topic

i mean he’s got a soft spot of you

plus hes really caring

so he’ll listen to whatever topic you want to talk about anyway

he’s really the only who, like, pays attention to all your babbling

most of them tend to overlook that

but never donghae

he’s the guy you call in the middle of the night when you cant sleep

it’s not guaranteed he’ll pick up because i mean duh he has a life

but when he does he really listens

except for when he doesnt

cos he’s tired

and on top of being a cuddly living diary

he’s also your personal massager

like you know those knots on your shoulder

what knots on your shoulders

he massages them away because

youre his ultimate weakness

when you need him he’ll be there in a heartbeat, racing leeteuk to get to you

although he’s not as motherly as leeteuk

he’s more of a brother really

like he is motherly

he does baby you

I MEAN THEY ALL BABY YOU YOU’re THE MAKNAE DUH

but

i can

no actually

i cant explain

because i got nothing

AGAIN WHICH IS FRUSTRATING BECAUSE I LOVE DONGHAE

DHADJ:ASD

YOU AND SIWON ARE THE POWER COUPLE EVERYONE WISHES THEY COULD BE

yall do the most goals things ever

and end up posting it on insta like the aesthetic things you are

he’s the guy you call when you wanna go out and tour

and you guessed it

he’s the second person in super junior you work most with out of the group

can you imagine the power you two hold in dramas

sometimes you do cameos in his shows

sometimes its the other way around

YOU TWO ARE ACTUALLY THE ONLY ONES WITH FOOTAGE OF KISSING

honestly it was a make out but you know

donghae’s fine

Siwon and you travel a lot

in a small scale sense where you just go around on a food trip

or going on a short vacation to another country

dont tell the others tho

YOU DO CHARITIES TOGETHER

and its honestly the cutest thing ever like siwon and his charities ad;hkasd

you two have this meme where its just a compilation of you two lauging

cos yall get WEIRD when you laugh together

your laugh is weird in general

and super junior is weird in general

but you and siwon laughing is just weirder

Whenever you have to go somewhere where you think youre going to die because of the formality

you bring siwon along because he’s the most businessman looking out of everyone

plus he holds a rich man aura

because he is

haha

honestly he should just buy SM wtf

He is also the one you go to for advice

because sometimes crying with donghae isn’t really the way you want to go

he’s normally your outside opinion guy

when you normally have a course of action already in your head

but youre just not sure how to go

he gives solid points

and he’s quite firm with his answers

when you need him he doesn’t come as quick as leeteuk or donghae

but he’s the one who leaves last

because he’s just thorough like that

like if you have a mental break down

he’ll come when he can and make sure to make extra time for you

because he wants to both make it up to you and make sure you’re alright

also

i should add

that on top of being very aesthetic together with your black tie events and whatnot

yall make post memes of each other often on your own accounts SO MUCH

ELFs dig it

iconic really

ryeowook actually hates you

he hates you because you have such a beautiful voic

he hates that youre pretty

he hates that youre talented

HE HATES THE COMPETITION

but it is also what completes him

It adds to his purpose in life

To cruSh u

N remind u who is butter

yall bicker the most out of everyone

yall raise your voices at each other the most

you always attack each other

AND SOMETIMES KYUHYUN PITS YOU TWO TOGETHER AND

it’s too much to handle

but when you catch on that you’re being played

You and ryeowook teamup

AND KYUHYUN PAYS

EVERYONE THAT CROSSES YOU PAYS

BWHAHAHAHAAHHA

the sass is real when you’re together

THE AMOUNT OF SHADE you throw

makes both of your skin visibly darker to a point

he’s mostly the one to call you out when you and kangin are doing something dumb

or when you and donghae start getting cuddly

or when you just show your face to him

because yes he hates you

BUT

if he hears anyone say anything REMOTELY BAD ABOUT YOU

he wILL attacK

if he thinKS SOMEONE’s BEING TOO sarcASTIC

HE WILL CUT THEM

because only HE can be mean to you

which is why they actually think you’re dating

pipe the HECK down if you have something to say

and the feeling is mutual for you

if anyone says anything bad about ryeowook OR ANY OF YOUR BOYS

they’re dead

cold

but sometimes both of you hate super junior together

and theres a bunch of videos of you questioning why you’re both still here

when he’s not hating you though

he’s violently supporting you

VIOLENTLY

have you heard this man scream

HE SCREAMS HIGHER THAN ANY FEMALE FAN COULD

and LOUDER

if you’re doing something live

heS ONLY THERE TO SCREAM FOR YOU

then he’s out

him and yesung are on a roll when you get an award

and on your live performances

theres normally a cut scene to him in the crowd holding a big ass sign that says something mean

like I HOPE YOU TRIP in bold letters

but in fine print is continues IN SUCCESS AND GOOD HEALTH

cheeeeeeeeeezzzzyyyyyy

but that’s ryeowook for ya

Everyone's confused how you are able to be so violent and mean

But also so cheesily soft

Honestly u just weird

And so is ryeowook

when you need advice he fights you first

"How could you be so dumb to have a problem like that"

then,he'll tell you what to do

If he can, he fights your problem

and then solves it for you that way

Thats how it is, violently soft hek

So serious

ANYWAY KYUHYUN ALSO HATES YOU

DUH

but unlike ryeowook he sometimes actually make people end up wondering if youre dating

Cause ryeowook and u be mean but not so lovey dovey

But you and kyuhyun are mean and lovey dovey

he makes sure you suffer

suffer in embarrassment in live television

and will do everything in his power to get you and ryeowook to stab each other

but if you squint hard enough

he acts hella whipped for you to be pretty damn honest

anyone with a brain can put together that he’s basically like a child

a child being mean to his crush because he doesn’t know what to do

EW FEELINGS

but yall know what

even though ya both be also killing each other

THE BALLADS YOU GUYS HAVE

I cannnnOt even

is OFF THE CHARTS TEAR JERKING

any drama that has been blessed with your vocals

----i meaaaan-----

your song can save any drama

becAUSE

and yall do a lot of live performances together

uhm did I mention you’re basically part of the sub-unit KRY

actuallY JK nvm, it’s you and kyuhyun alone actually

just you and him

hitting those notes like no other

AnD theN theRE was This incident

that you had to perform in on a live awardshow

BUT you Got INTO an aCCIDENT

but like a vocal accident

as in you lost your voice

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

kyuhyun covered for you duh

because even if he wants you to suffer in public

he wants it to be by his hand

and not because you ended up getting sick suddenly

I do have to say he’s not very reliable tbh

for the sole reason he wishes to be the true maknae and to desTROY U

yes

that

and EW FEELINGs

“are you sure you hate her though” -literally everyone

“YES!” kyuhyun would answer without missing a beat

“seem like bull by ok”

THE MEMES YOU TWO HAVE AS WELL

THE MEMES

the there can only be one

i would’ve killed you if the lights were closed

excuse you, trash

i sarangHATE U Bitch

boi i cant wtf am i doin

and again

i cannot stress enough that kyuhyun wants your death by his hand

so if someone else comes for you

he’s going to attack that person more than they have you

whenever people ask him about you to, he gets all protective and scary

in summarry, he wants death but not really

yikes

heNRY IS THE WORST

he’s the only one who actually treats you like youre a child

wtf

like you two are the closest in age

the audacity

the nerve

i cant believe

he literally pulls the Oppa card

every

frikin

wHeRE

LISTEN BOI SHE BE GROWN

he literally holds your hand when you cross the street

he asks you if you’ve eaten

he coddles you, especially around others

he brings you juice on set if ever you appear on the same show

LieK

he’s so embarrassing

he be actin as if he’z ya dad

liIKEEE

get a grip

but as embarrassing as he is

he is also your best friend

and he talks fondly about you everywhere

literally never talks shit about you

unless its true tho lololo

and for real is probably literally in love with you

but is like “I’m her older brother tho so”

acts like an older brother 23/6

and the remaining time like a sweet and ExTreMely embarrassing boyfriend

will do anything for you to be honest

YOU TWO GO ABROAD TOGETHER A LOT AND ARE GOALS

if you and kyuhyun do lame things

YOU AND HENRY LIVE IT UP

yall do weird shit online too

and yall have done questionable things on variety

korean

chinese

wherever

which is why you’ve hosted a variety special before

IT WAS ICONIC

if you ever feel down

or sad

or angry

or frustrated

henry is the guy to call to be reminded of the brighter things

like THIS BOY IS ACTUAL SUNSHINE HELP

nothing is impossible or gloomy with henry

and yall thrive in all the crack-ish things you do together

yes

end

71 notes · View notes

sikereviewdotcom · 4 years

Text

wilfred (2011) - season 1 ep1 “happiness” review

ok so today were reviewing fucking "wilfred" basically its a story about a depressed guy who tried to kill himself but he failed because hes a pushover in life and even suicide is mocking him yea jk actually his sis prescribed him placebo so the meds he used in his suicide attempt were useless yada yada

then he sees his neighbours (on who he tots have the hots for) dog as a man and hes like lol wtf why is there a furry standing in my yard? im not into dogplay dudette, please dont do this to me ah-

unfortunately for him the chick, on the next day asks to take care of her dog meanwhile because idk shit happens in her house? and she has to work? yea something like that so anyway he accepts because hes into her and out of it aswell more out of it than anything tho

our man, ryan is pretty disturbed but it happens anyway he has NO control over his life so why would he have control on a dog fursuit wearing 40 yo man? yea exactly wouldnt make sense

wilfred enters his house and smoke a damn bong thats right, a very efficient way to introduce what kind of character were up against see, jason gann has the perfect face for such character looking all dirty in that suit with a big ass black painted dog nose you gotta think "that dawgs up to no good" and youd be damn right keep reading to discover why so basically nm happens in this episode if it isnt the setting of all the shit because well ryan has a lot of issues and its gonna get worse you cant believe this dog is gonna make things better for ryan not really hes just scamming the loser with cheap tricks and drugs

btw after (trying) to vape or w/e with wilfred, the man falls asleep, wakes up because his sis whos a bitch, remember her

its important to spot whos a bitch in each show ill be reviewing its pretty easy to balance whos the antagonist and who isnt although it often is much more complexe than that which is why im here making it all very easy and very interesting, aside from lost cases like the magic school bus i cant make that shit any worse nor TOO better like i have limited power my reviews are sike but some shows are just nah back to our whipped cream: ryans depression: he is jobless ok? so his sis is mad that he doesnt make the effort to come work and do what he has to also he used to be a lawyer btw because his father wanted him to be and then his father died and he lost his job and he hated being a lawyer so w/e but he also seemingly lost all reasons to live and redacted more than one suicide letter so im not sure what to think about it he was really eager to die yknow his sis couldnt care less tho its like "yo stop ruining my image im trynna get you a job in my hospital fuckface" yea see that why shes an inconsiderate bitch

so instead of going to work because of wilfred, ryan takes him for a while btw that vermin also tries to get elijah (the actor playing ryan is elijah wood obvs btw so this series already gets 5 points to begin with i dont make the rules) to throw a tennis ball and dont forget this ball ok? its gonna come back and start a whole drama its the beginning of our adventure a ball

next theyre in a restauration thing eating chips and drinking a beer together dog and his friend then the waitress comes and

happens the tiddies eating, it almost one fucking minute im sure we could all feel the embarassement of having your animal rubbing its balls and penis against your friend whos over for the nights leg in the middle of spring and youre just trying to get it back but wow the hormones are hitting it hard its like a cleaning robot vibrating on a grandma whos cardiacs chest and you trynna take that little asshole away but for some reason its rubbed in olive oil so not only does it reeks of olive, its also slippery as heck and you can see your grandma spasmming on her soon-to-be deathbed, she has spasms for god sake no the robot no someone stop it from stimulating the old ladys torso ah shit marguerite died after drowning in her drooling

not even died of an heart attack nah, it was such a messy death she suffered so much no one could do anything its like the robot was sentient yknow and well same goes for wilfred hes making it on purpose but uses the excuse : he likes the boobs it nothing personal, ryan

w/e they leave after paying (not for the side tits tho, it was a freebie for dogs) after that shit happens (i wont spoil you EVERYTHING, im just painting a pic here ok?) at this point you could wonder "is wilfred being a dick on purpose or its just about said instincts? how much percentage of his behavior is actually dog and how much is ryans mind (the guy is deranged there is no denying that but how much? )) whats sure is that his owner likes her dog vm and hes maining that chick

good for him? but it also happens that before that, elijah just threw the ball above the gate and into his much less friendly neighbour because he was sick of the dog asking to throw it and so yea, there is a tension between ryan and wilfred not any kind of tension, exactly the kind of elija x reader fanfic i wanted to read except pov: im a canine furry and i smoke weed on a daily basis and im a jackass

theyre almost breaking up someone does something about it i was seriously getting into it wow oh no fuck look at me tearing one or two here

rip their new born bromance? or... is it all there is to it? well see no obviously its the problem we were waiting for because when our fella enters back home and idk whatever else happens its night and his sister comes home and she goes all "lol actually i gave you placebo itd be dangerous otherwise you numbfuck" but shes quickly muted once our man notices his dog friend in his yard... its time for a reunion a heart to heart conversation to proceed so he has to ditch his sis which he casually does bros before hoes

its again about the ball which HE WILL go and fetch by passing over the fence to get in neighbours yard but damn it cant be just that? wouldnt it make a lame crappy story? we need some actions, we got the tits, the beer, no job, delinquency has no limit so fuck it says the dog as he smashes the window and enters the bikers house because he SMELLS (like he smells the shit streaks you have on your pants) the weed, ryan is like "no fuck bro no shit fuck ah-" then sees the damn weed which they steal ok? hes really a pushover he has not got the right idea of stopping being one because thats what his new friends supposed to be here for yknow trynna get his loser into a winner, that lil camper gotta level up his game, go get into the business of life barging in kicking the door to enter, no shame nor hesitation were trying to make him STEP UP for HIMSELF but guess what? ill tell you later or itd be a spoil in a spoil surely a bad paradoxal medium w/e business going on blablabla theyre up to no good thats for sure as sure as how much ryans actually enjoy this the mans into this pee slash poop affair:

spoiler alert: he does it and

im just quoting him here : he never felt more alive nor glad to be so i guess thats whats life about shitting in peoples affair, stealing weed plants and quitting your job on your first day (you havent showed up tho so w/e you never really worked in that place no one knows you its all good you can get back in that place looking innocent and smiling with your broken ribs "yea nah i never had a job here and ditched yall huh" thats foxy of him kinda but not really since he had no intention back then to do anything for himself it was all strings pulled by a fucking dog hilarious really im having a kick haha no

so what next? theyre best friends? man and dog, a wonderful friendship happens he has no more family to support him but HE HAS A DOG guys he was so into it im feeling sorry for this hobot-to-be schizophrenic man

i wont spoil you but trust me when i say not to trust a furry who eats tits on your first date

in conclusion: it was a pretty decent first episode ill update my final thoughts on the first season once im done watching it but so far its recommandable the camera work is pretty cool like its not just thoughtless filming we actually have a nice feel to it, the setting of the series is esthetically pleasing you get nice colors and it aint boring, its not like a FRIENDS episode yknow? dawg i dislike how boring it looks filming wise for start but damn i aint reviewing FRIENDS rn so next, the comedy? after all its a comedy genre series not a drama, idk if id review an actual depressive show on here thatd bum the vibe out ok? i know im making all my revs awesome w/e it is that i choose to rate and comment but still im serving you a plate of my finest sheez not any fizzle in the mizzle ok?

anyway yea the humor aint bad, i havent laughed my ass of but i did find it amusing to watch the jokes may actually kick in in the second episode ill have to update this rev alright? just hang on to your balls peeps this fam will serve in due time

rating: 7,5/10 scenery/camera work 7/10 comedy 8/10 interest/entertaining points total: 7,5/10 for a first episode is fine enough to be recommanded, like a "give it a chance" sorta case yknow isnt the most hilarious show youll watch but its fine especially if youre into homoromantic tension between a furry and elijah wood

tg, out

#wilfred #review #series review #wilfred review #wilfred 2011 #furry #sike reviews

3 notes · View notes