#like. i am usually in no way about angst and unhappy endings for relationships i like but i literally think their relationship can Only

[mthofferings]

penguinofthewaddles

See penguinofthewaddles’s existing works here.

Preferred contact methods: Email: [email protected] Tumblr: penguinofthewaddles Twitter: penguinwaddlesd Instagram: penguinofthewaddles

Preferred organizations: - Assistance Dogs International - Autistic Self Advocacy Network - Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund (See the list of approved organizations here)

Will create works that contain: Fluff, angst, happy ending, hurt/comfort, fight scenes, cuddle scenes, platonic kisses (not on lips) and hugs, romantic kisses (with ships I like), platonic and romantic cuddling, fix-it, whump, traumatized character recovery, injury/hurt recovery, happy family dynamics, dysfunctional family, implied trauma (torture, heartbreak, neglect, loss) recovery and stuff like that, found family, people eating together, platonic sleeping together (innocent, just for comfort/cold), domestic fluff, some ships, mental illness (depression, anxiety, etc.), neurodivergent things, recovery, action scenes, happy/hopeful ending, (character) gets a hug, characters watching movies together

Will not create works that contain: Really sexual stuff (slightly implied might be ok but case by case basis!), extreme gore (ok with some, just not excessively pls), overeating, excessive body horror, horror in general (spooky/scary is ok, just not too disturbing), any hate/debate regarding religion or politics or controversial things (hate from other characters is ok on marvel villains or bad things happening in Marvel), hating on other people's interests, full nudity, unhappy endings

  -- Art --

Auction ID: 1155

Will create works for the following relationships: Loki/Sylvie - MCU Loki-centric - MCU B-15-centric - MCU Wanda Maximoff/Vision - MCU Namor & Shuri - MCU Loki & Thor - MCU Matt Murdock/Jennifer Walters - MCU Gamora/Peter Quill - MCU Miles Morales/Gwen Stacy - Spider-Verse (animated films) Bruce Banner & Heimdall & Loki & Thor & Valkyrie - MCU

Work Description: I do digital art in a cartoony/comic booky style!! I also do Chibi that you can see on my socials here! I can do different characters/relationships than what I listed ;) Though I’m a bit picky about shipping, so I might not want to do some relationships super shippy and romantic other than what's listed. Willing to draw pretty much anything gen with characters I know. Feel free to still ask if I want to do a specific romantic ship or something, though; I still might consider it! I'm familiar with all of the MCU shows and movies, some of X-Men movies, Spider-Man and X-Men Ultimate universe comics, and the AOS Loki storyline! (Haven’t finished it all the way through though!) Most likely would be half-body and a couple characters together but willing to negotiate ;) As I now work and am in school again, I might need some grace time with my busy schedule, so probably about 1-3 months depending on which auction number you are! (I am doing 3 auctions and I can only work on one at a time lol). If you would like it for a specific holiday or something, let me know and I can try and make it work! I usually work best with more frequent communication! I like sending wips lol and feel free to reach out for any questions/updates. I usually am most active on Instagram/Twitter/Discord. Also, the more details/specificity in the prompt, the easier it is for me! Please consider donating to one of the neurodivergent/disability support charities if bidding for this! My cousin is severely disabled and my family has been struggling to find the right care for him, so just on my heart lately and would mean a lot to me as a neurodivergent person myself as well. ❤️❤️ Thanks so much! Can’t wait to see your prompt!

Ratings: Gen, Teen, Mature

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

-- Art --

Auction ID: 2077

Will create works for the following relationships: Loki fandom any gen - MCU Loki & Mobius - MCU Daredevil fandom any gen - MCU Agents of SHIELD fandom any gen - MCU Moon Knight fandom any gen - MCU Loki & Thor - MCU Guardians of the Galaxy fandom any gen - MCU Avengers fandom any gen - MCU Kamala Khan-centric - MCU Bruce Banner & Loki & Thor & Valkyrie - MCU

Work Description: This is a platonic/gen only auction! I can do different characters/relationships than what I listed! I'm familiar with all of MCU shows and movies, some of X-Men movies, Spider-Man and X-Men Ultimate universe comics, and the AOS Loki storyline! (Haven’t finished it all the way through though!) I do a cartoony/semi realistic style and chibi (see my examples here)! Most likely would be half-body and a couple characters together but willing to negotiate;) As I now work and am in school again, I might need some grace time with my busy schedule, so probably about 1-3 months depending on which auction number you are! (I am doing 3 auctions and I can only work on one at a time lol). If you would like it for a specific holiday or something, let me know and I can try and make it work! I usually work best with more frequent communication! I like sending wips lol and feel free to reach out for any questions/updates. I usually am most active on Instagram/Twitter/Discord. Also, the more details/specificity in the prompt, the easier it is for me! Please consider donating to one of the neurodivergent/disability support charities if bidding for this! My cousin is severely disabled and my family has been struggling to find the right care for him, so just on my heart lately and would mean a lot to me as a neurodivergent person myself as well. ❤️❤️ Thanks so much! Can’t wait to see your prompt!

Ratings: Gen, Teen, Mature

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

-- Art --

Auction ID: 3028

Will create works for the following relationships: Sylvie-centric - MCU Loki-centric - MCU Wanda Maximoff-centric - MCU Remy LeBeau/Rogue - X-Men: The Animated Series Layla El-Faouly & Steven Grant & Marc Spector - MCU Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers - What If..? Frigga & Loki - MCU Shuri & T'Challa - MCU Michelle Jones/Peter Parker - MCU Loki & Wanda Maximoff & Stephen Strange - MCU

Work Description: I do digital art in a cartoony/comic booky style!! I also do Chibi that you can see on socials here! I can do different characters/relationships than what I listed. ;) Though I’m a bit picky about shipping, so I might not want to do some relationships super shippy and romantic other that what's listed. Willing to draw pretty much anything gen with characters I know. Feel free to still ask if I want to do a specific romantic ship or something, though; I still might consider it! I'm familiar with all of the MCU shows and movies, some of X-Men movies, Spider-Man and X-Men Ultimate universe comics, and the AOS Loki storyline! (Haven’t finished it all the way through tho!) Most likely would be half-body and a couple characters together but willing to negotiate. ;) As I now work and am in school again, I might need some grace time with my busy schedule, so probably about 1-3 months depending on which auction number you are! (I am doing 3 auctions and I can only work on one at a time lol). If you would like it for a specific holiday or something, let me know and I can try and make it work! I usually work best with more frequent communication! I like sending wips lol and feel free to reach out for any questions/updates. I usually am most active on Instagram/Twitter/Discord. Also, the more details/specificity in the prompt, the easier it is for me! Please consider donating to one of the neurodivergent/disability support charities if bidding for this! My cousin is severely disabled and my family has been struggling to find the right care for him, so just on my heart lately and would mean a lot to me as a neurodivergent person myself as well. ❤️❤️ Thanks so much! Can’t wait to see your prompt!

Ratings: Gen, Teen, Mature

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

The auction runs from October 22 (12 AM ET) to October 28 (11:59:59 PM ET). Visit marveltrumpshate.com during Auction Week to view all of our auctions and to place your bids!

#penguinofthewaddles #auction: art #mth 2023

[chibitantei]

I was going to not do this, but then I decided to do it. Long post is long. Yippie (question mark).

Tagged by: stolen from various people

Tagging: continue the trend

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

It’s about as simple as Naoto is my favorite character.

Funnily enough, I had seen P4 back in my anime hater phase. Only the first three hours and I thought it was the stupidest thing ever. Flash forward to summer 2017 and I decided to watch the anime adaptation. It was rushed, but fun and tickled my silly brain. 

The moment Naoto showed up, I thought wow, he looks like a prick. I love him already. I watched it subbed so I am an advocate for Romi Park’s Naoto.

And for why I picked her up, well, I actually wanted to write a whole fanfic about Naoto’s POV in Inaba and maybe the spinoffs because this fandom is lacking in Naoto perspective fics. I found out about RP through a friend in a small discord server. I decided to use RP as a way to solidify my take on Naoto, so I made this blog around 2019, although it didn’t get it off the ground until April 2020.

I have made zero progress on that fanfic aside from a few drabbles I am perpetually unhappy with, so mission failed? Against all odds, I’ve stayed for much longer than I thought I would have, so mission success?

Also fun fact, while I wanted to write Naoto and practice with her, I initially wanted to jump into the RPC as Yu because he’s a blank slate, so he must be easy to write. Seeing as how my Yu muse is currently on hiatus, I dread knowing what would have happened in that timeline.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

For all that is holy, smut. It doesn’t offend me, but I cannot write it. At most, I’d be very purple and describe feelings that would arise from such a thing than actually describing what’s going on. Never mind the fact that I typically write Naoto while she’s 16-18, so smut is a no go there.

I’m also not a fan of antagonistic relationships that aren’t plotted out. Not every muse is going to get along with Naoto, but if she dislikes your muse and there’s no opportunity to talk to them ever again, she will take that opportunity and coolly withdraw.

Action scenes are the bane of my existence yet I must work on them to improve further hrhrhrhrhghghghg

I can’t think of anything else at the top of my head, so whenever it comes up, we’ll find out.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

I find that my best writing comes from moments where Naoto is introspective, which ends up being hurt/comfort or angst. Really, I don’t have a specific favorite when it comes to writing. I find plenty of situations can reveal things about the muses I write. 

I have a really huge bias for people who humor my arcana.swap AUs. I’m in the process of revamping some verse info, but I enjoy putting Naoto into a Yosuke role, for example, and seeing what about her changes, and what stays.

Even with different writing styles, it’s a challenge for myself to try and match—besides my fanfic brain wanting to try and keep things consistent. Third person present, third person past, even first or second person threads, I’d love to try those.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

Honestly, thinking about the source material is enough to get me going. So much about Naoto is never stated outright or left implied, courtesy of her last party member disease. I also try to keep Japanese culture in mind while I write headcanons and characterize her, so I guess you could say looking at the culture is another source of inspiration. There are moments while writing replies that a headcanon will hit me. I’ve never been a fan of saying ‘Naoto is this because I said so’ so that’s why my headcanons are usually mini essays and why I am slow.

Sometimes music gives me inspiration. Just sometimes. Speaking of...

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

I’m probably going to be an odd one out and say silence. There are moments where I have a song playing in the background, but those moments are rare because I end up focusing on the song more than I do my writing. I’ll think about the mood it sets, how it relates to Naoto, have some stupid fictional MV playing in my head, all of it distracts me from actually writing lol. Whenever I listen to music during writing, it’s never when I’m in the actual act of writing. I use it for mood setting and ideas.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

Unless a thread is plotted, I wing replies most of the time. I curse my brain for coming up with great lines while I’m taking a shower and then it evaporates from my head like steam.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

I do, but while I have a few OTPs, shipping is not a priority on this blog. I’m more interested in giving Naoto friendships and a few familial ones than actively seeking out romance. I’m pretty picky and shipping with Naoto is a massive slow burn, I cannot stress that enough. As my rules say, if you want to ship with Naoto and only that, you are in for a very bad time here.

I am multi-ship though, so I don’t do exclusives when it comes to shipping.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

Liz. Elizabeth is my actual name. The confusion to be had when people talk about P3!Elizabeth is very real. It’s not the most unique name, but I couldn’t figure out anything else because I am not creative :]

ᴀɢᴇ?

I hate to say this but you could look at the current year and figure out my age. I am truly and deeply sorry. So at the time of writing this, I am 24 and shaking in horror at the thought.

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

Feb 22.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

Blue...

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

I don’t have a favorite song exactly, but the DGS soundtrack has been in my head ever since I played the game. This track is a light spoiler if you haven’t finished it, but it has this sense of urgency while not being extremely fast, in short, Naoto on the job. It carries hints of a song that I’ve associated with Naoto’s parents and Naoto herself, so in a very vague way, there’s totally a bit of legacy in here, trust. But I also like the unused investigation theme. It’s hard boiled, like Naoto and her hard boiled detective novels.

Did you know I wanted to make a DGS/Meiji era AU for Naoto after completing the game? Yeah...

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

The thirteenth Detective Conan movie...

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Detective Conan. It’s very long and I’m only surviving because I’m using xerblade’s guide. I am very committed to this task.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

If we exclude the songs I put above and MGMT’s When You Die because that one’s been stuck in my head, veil, or Fire Force’s first ending. The lyrics are very Naoto.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

It changes frequently, but I will say I’ve had takoyaki and okonomiyaki in my head for months.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

I hate being cold, so I like summer.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

If we exchanged discords and we talk a lot, congrats, we are friends.

#OOC: Outta Coffee #Dash Game: Files to Review

[nieithryn]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN.

respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? These days, especially in this fandom, it's usually the relationships between either a friend's muse and the character, or another of my muses and a character. But looking at some of my main kiddos, or my OCs? I write characters that embody something that fascinates me. Frequently it's a new take on strength through adversity, or the reforging of the self after trauma. Sometimes it's something I identify with deeply, like Mace and Quinlan's struggle with the Dark from a young age. Or Yularen being willing to do bad things for the greater good as he sees it. Or Cody being a protective big brother who can't always protect his brothers. And sometimes, just because it seems fun, like with Zam!

is there anything you don’t like to write? There definitely are, though they're rare. Few and far between, aside from the obvious hard no's of various kinds. I'll write almost anything if a partner and I have enough chemistry. But some of the things I'm less comfortable with are crossovers (never been quite sure why, fandom AUs are fine, but crossovers I struggle with), true crack, and angst or smut without some kind of purpose or plot. I love me some angst, but I need the comfort after, unless I'm writing a symbolic unhappy ending for some reason. There's a few muses I have for whom that would be appropriate or canon compliant, but otherwise the angst needs a gentle comfort after or some reason.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? Basically anything else! I'm pretty flexible, if my partner is interested I'll do damn near anything tbh. I love hurt-comfort especially, but I love me some good canon divergent "what ifs" and alternate takes on how characters meet or even hook up. It's fun sometimes to see how a complicated relationship can go so many different ways, where along the forks they might have gone different directions. I love writing the inbetween moments canon never shows us, because there's never enough time to. The ways those inbetween scenes might affect entire relationships, or should have. Honestly, give me all those little bits inbetween.

how do you come up with headcanons? Usually headcanons develop from my analysis of whatever canon I accept for my muse, sometimes from small facial or body language tells during a panel/scene, sometimes by extrapolating from something they say or are described to do. But sometimes it's actually extrapolating from their relationships with other characters, both the muses of my partners and the people they interact with canonically. You can tell a lot about a character by how they interact with loved ones, for instance.

do you write in silence or do you play music? This depends on the ADHD mood of the day. Most days, I have 1-3 songs on repeat to become such a smooth background I can write without silence, but not get distracted by lyrics or the instrumentation. But some days, I need complete and absolute silence because any noise will distract me and the replies will never happen. Oh the joys lol.

do you plan your replies or wing them? Kinda both, and it usually depends on the muse the reply is for. Some I can plot out really well, or get so excited to write that I spend hours plotting the right reply. And some either flow so naturally I can wing it, or unexpectedly just decide the plotted reply isn't the vibe of the moment when I'm actually writing, and off we go to the races!

do you enjoy shipping? Oh hells yes, absolutely. Romantic, platonic, absolutely I love shipping. In the purely romantic sense, while many of my muses over my time RPing are demisexual, I am always down to give them partners, and in platonic senses, family and friends and found family are just. So wonderful.

what’s your alias/name? Liz or Argent

age?  25

birthday? April 2nd

favorite color?  Dark Blue, Silver, Gold

favorite song? 

last movie you watched? 

last show you watched?  Uhhh Family Feud I think lol.

last song you listened to? Will The Circle Be Unbroken by Peter Hollens & Malukah (Honorary shout out to Baba Yetu as well bc they've been on a two song repeat lol)

favorite food?  Oooh hard choice. Steamer clams or steamed artichokes.

favorite season?  Autumn

do you have a tumblr best friend? I used to have a really close friend group on Tumblr I would've tagged, but many have since disappeared. Now it's @strcngered and I against the world, lol. Though @valorums/@prodijedi and @mayxthexforce are very very swiftly making it into that same level of vibe, so I'm rebuilding slowly but surely.

TAGGED BY: @valorums

TAGGING: Ohhhh just steal it, Callie snagged most of you anyway lol.

#About Liz #not such a stranger (ooc) #Let the Games Begin (Dash Games)

[jerzwriter]

Do you think Ethan would have pursued a relationship with Kaycee if she would've lost her ethics trial?

Ooooh, wow. Is this an angst fic waiting to be written!

In fairy-tale-land, I'd say yes. In reality-land, I'd say no. At least no time soon.

He would probably feel immense guilt. You know he'd find a way to blame himself, and it would probably make him uncomfortable to be around her as a result.

If he's back at Edenbrook, I see Mr. Workaholic not having much time for anything (or anyone) who isn't in his daily environment, so she wouldn't (immediately) be in the forefront of his thoughts.

Lastly, it would depend on what she did after. I am going to die on this hill... this man is a sapiosexual, and he would want to be with someone who, if not a doctor, is at least in another stimulating career. He doesn't want to come home and hear about a mundane job.

But how do I think it would play out?

She stays in Boston temporarily, working as a research assistant at a local medical school. She's very unhappy and begins considering other approaches.

Despite her best efforts, Ethan does not keep in touch with her. She sees him in Donahues, but he usually tries to sidestep her. This makes the pain even deeper.

She decides to apply to law school, and she's accepted at several schools and limits her choices to Harvard or Georgetown. She talks to Ethan, she asks if they can make it work, and he says no; she decides she doesn't want to remain in Boston and leaves for DC.

Three years later, she completed her law degree and works in healthcare law. She focuses solely on taking on corruption in the medical industry and becomes successful in exposing corrupt practices and helping health consumers.

Three Boston hospitals, including Edenbrook, are sued for overcharging uninsured patients, and Casey is one of the lawyers involved in the suit. She heads into her first meeting with the opposition, and who is sitting across the table? Dr. Ethan Ramsey.

They do not get off to a good start. They're both still hurt, they've both had failed relationships since they ended things, and they're both still very much in love with each other. After some drama (there has to be drama) they end up reuniting.

Damn, I like that. lol

#ethan ramsey #ethan asks #asks #asks answered #open heart

[asteralien]

fanfic writer asks

tagged by @abnerskrill, thank yoooou

How many works do you have on AO3?

26 but 10 of those are short writer's month prompt ficlets, so it's not as many as it sounds, especially if i actually do get to all 31 ficlets. so, like 16 with a ficlet series?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

108,920! i was kind of shocked. that's a not-bad amount of words for someone who is still somewhat uncomfortable being a fanfic writer.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

6-7 - the magnus archives has the most atm; adventures in odyssey; mcu in general and the loki tv show specifically; taz balance; spn; and merlin. no, i'm not a child of 2013 tumblr, what are you talking about. spn and merlin are only short gen character studies, though, nothing intense.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

by FAR the most popular is my first tma fic, will your system be all right, the michael-has-misophonia study. 105 kudos!

Steadfast In the Broken Binding, also a tma fic, jonmichael slowburn set in a tma-ified version of the binding by br*dget c*llins (it also has 18 subscribers!!)

Perhaps I Had a Wicked Childhood, the steveloki time travel-ish fic

Variation On an Enemy, mcu fic with steve and loki but nonshippy/pre-relationship, set in the tva

5th place is tied between the devil gave me a crooked start and I Am Not the Only Traveler, which are both richard maxwell-centric aio fics. i am, as always, in love with my aio fic readers and kissing them on the mouth/wherever they are comfortable with/blowing them air kisses/shaking their hands sincerely. imagine a fandom 0.5% the size of mcu's and still much smaller than tma's but there are so many generous readers that the fics are still some of the most-kudos'd fics i have. j'adore.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

hmmmmm possibly you cannot kill me in a way that matters? that's the taako&merle taz balance fic set on the mushroom planet. one of my favorite kinds of flashback fics, in which POV Character starts out unhappy, takes on step towards healing, then takes a hasty two steps back!

it's possible my Sad Michael-POV TMA Standalone Fics Trilogy (will your system be all right, The Monster In the Impossible Halls, and In the Sweet Spot of the Throat) are the angstiest, but i feel like angst is expected in tma fics so it doesn't count as much. Sweet Spot does end jon and michael dying in each other's arms, though, so ymmv.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I Am Not the Only Traveler! richason makeout session achieved <3

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

crossovers are my favorite thing to write. they generally get me excited to write the most, bc i am still largely uncomfortable writing fanfic, so there's a layer of protection, almost, in putting familiar characters in different-but-still-familiar situations. it frees me up to focus on character and plot rather than endlessly worrying about canon details. i do usually only do the kind of crossover where i use the chars from Property A in the world of Property B, with no actual character crossover. i'm not up to writing richard maxwell and michael shelley interacting......................... yet.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope! almost certainly never will. i've written 2 smutty ficlets for my own original fiction and while it was interesting and i liked how one of them turned out, it also made me sort of uncomfortable, as an ace person and as someone who's never experienced it anyway. i read it for some ships, and unfortunately it's impossible not to learn the language of smut fics even without reading them, but i get embarrassed even publishing works with kissing in them because i can never tell if the verisimilitude is there. it's very hard for me to judge the authenticity. i can see myself maybe one day writing a vaguer M-rated fic but it's just not something i have any interest in writing or frequently reading right now.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i try! it usually takes me a bit, as in anything requiring human communication, but i do appreciate comments so i try to thank ppl for them

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nope!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

there's not a big audience for gen no-dialogue character studies and ficlets about two men from a conservative christian kid's radio show kissing, so no

Have you ever had a fic translated?

see above answer

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope~

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

all-time to write? richard/jason. they come very naturally to me since i've been listening to them speak since i was like, 12. steveloki is a close second <3

all-time in general? GOD idk, too many !!! steveloki, richason, jonmichael, morgwen, abed/jeff, comet (costis/kamet), dinluke............ i have lots and i'd probably give 50% of a different answer if you asked me tomorrow

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

in my darker moments i worry that i will never finish Steadfast In the Broken Binding because i just updated it for the first time in over a year. and by "just" i mean, like, two months ago. but i really really want to, and i have a lot of half-formed ideas for how it's going to go, along with a pretty firm ending.

i REALLY doubt i'll ever finish tuesdays in the park with steve. i thought it'd be easy! but it's not! it's not something i should be this worked up over making sure it makes sense, since i am in no hurry to return to this particular crossover after the "mystery spot" spoof is over! but here! we! are! the next chapter is just going to always be half-written in my fic folder i guess

What are your writing strengths?

fuck me if i know. the most consistent compliment i've been given is that my character voices are authentic, which is my favorite compliment because staying true to the characters i love is, at the end of the day, all i care about, so that's nice

What are your writing weaknesses?

plotting, especially clarity. devastating first comment on Perhaps I Had a Wicked Childhood was that they ended up liking it but still didn't really know what was going on. quelle horreur. pacing is sooooo important to me as a reader but it's not something i've mastered as a writer. sometimes i give into the temptation to force the plot to go where it needs to go, and that's not good!!! i just get impatient. :/

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

if you know the language well enough to demonstrate your character's actual fluency in it, go nuts!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

adventures in odyssey! tbh that's why the devil gave me a crooked start has so many kudos, it's been around several years longer than the others (2017).

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

it's hard to choose !!! will your system be all right is still really meaningful to me but it's sloppier than i would write it now (it was a vent fic and i published it without proofreading it really at all).

Perhaps I Had a Wicked Childhood, on the other hand, i always remember as sloppier than it actually was, and every time i actually reread a bit of it i'm really proud of it, at least stylistically.

you cannot kill me in a way that matters is, imho, one of my best works when taken as a whole and it kind of kills me that it barely cracked 100 hits. i know why it didn't, ofc, but still. i forget i wrote it sometimes but then i remember and my heart just goes <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

tagging @biromantic-nerd and any of my other moots who do fanfic !! only if you feel like it <3

#thank you again this was funnnn #i cannot BELIEVE i have over 100k words of fanfic that just doesnt sound real #i am not a real fanfic writer and yet here we are #also i just have to reiterate. once again. that us gay aio listeners? are more powerful than any us marine #we are bound in a pact stronger than the blood of the oath or the water of the womb #ask game answers #fic writing

[kim-seung-mo]

Could you do a stray kids x manipulate and acts a bit narcissistic

PS I act a bit like that but I am trying to change the way I behave towards people

𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕪 𝕂𝕚𝕕𝕤 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕄𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕡𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕊/𝕆

♩ gn!reader, angst?? idk how to categorize this, toxic/manipulative behavior, the boys getting mad/sad, don't be like this irl guys this is pure fiction!!

♩♩ word count: 808

♩♩♩ A/N: ik anon said manipulative and narcissistic but i kinda just did manipulative?? hope that’s okay…also i just did hyung line cuz ii didn’t want to write about the babies being manipulated, if feels kinda weird, especially because they have less experience with…i guess people in general? and i could honestly see them being manipulated by someone like this?

wip list here

Chan

He is aware of what you are doing and is not the type of person to fall into your trap.

He doesn't like it when you act like this and speaks to you directly every time you say or do something that makes him uncomfortable.

"Y/N, I don't like feeling manipulated by you, you should stop constantly trying to manipulate people."

Whether it's actions or thoughts, he doesn't want to be controlled.

He genuinely wants you to change for the better.

He knows that all these actions of yours may come from your love, but it is also true that they make him feel discomfort.

You wouldn't want him to feel bad because of you either, would you?

But if you end up fighting about it all the time, he may break up with you before it gets too much.

"I'm not asking you to change anything superficial for me, I just want you to realise that - it's not correct to always want to manipulate people, whether it's me or someone else."

If you genuinely want to change, he doesn't mind taking you to a therapist.

Minho

You think you can manipulate him? Think again.

To be honest I don't think Minh would have dated a manipulative person to begin with.

But let's say you started out pretending to be nice and it wasn't until later that you slowly started to show that side.

Every time you made a move like trying to control his thoughts or actions, his face would go cold in a flash.

"This can't happen again, I'm giving you three chances, if you can't make a change, then I don't see how we can continue."

He's true to his word and believes that giving you three chances is already very forgiving.

He likes you, otherwise he wouldn't be dating you.

But he values his own mentalities and his own feelings more than he does you.

He would never force himself to stay in a relationship where he was unhappy.

If you want to keep his person and heart, you should at least be able to do so without seeing him as a plaything that you can manipulate.

Changbin

He doesn't think you have a bad heart, he even tries to think for you.

Maybe there's a particular reason why you always want to control everything? Or is it because he doesn't give you enough security?

He is a very independent person and whatever you say or do won't affect his judgement for the most part.

Especially in a situation like this where you are trying to manipulate him into thinking, or doing something.

He will sit down and have a proper conversation with you about it, very seriously, without his usual jokey smiley look at all.

"Simply put, I do want you to stop behaving like this. But if you have any difficulties, do not hide them from me."

He wants to rely on his own heart, to love you as he personally sees fit, not to be manipulated into doing so.

Of course, he still wants to believe that his feelings for you are real and not a false one that you have faked.

He believes that the most important thing in a relationship is honesty as well as equality between the two of you.

So if you can't even be honest and see him as an equal, you might not be the right person for him.

Hyunjin

Hyunjin looks mature on the outside, but he is still a child at heart.

When faced with your manipulation, he may not even realize that he is being controlled emotionally by you, or the words that come out of his mouth.

You always make him feel that everything is his fault. Of course this has something to do with his introverted, somewhat low-esteem personality.

But in a healthy relationship, this kind of thought is a big no-no.

He finds himself apologizing to you all the time, there is little laughter between you, and night after night he finds himself crying.

But he's afraid to think about it. He won't, dare not, question your actions.

It is in talking to someone else, with their persuasion, that he is easing into the realization that you are acting outside the norm in this way.

"So what should I do? I, I still like Y/N a lot...but I don't want to...... I don't want to always feel inferior because of them either......"

The other person told him he should go and have a proper talk with you, and if you are willing to make changes after listening to his truest thoughts, then maybe the relationship can continue.

However, if you become more aggressive or use his words as a handle to further control him, it is better to end such a relationship as soon as possible.

#stray kids #skz #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz reactions #stray kids reactions #skz headcanons #stray kids headcanons #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz angst #stray kids angst

[maybege]

maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up

Summary: You and Boba try to navigate the troubles of your relationship. (Part 10 of Midnight Special)

Pairing: hot dad!Boba Fett x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 5.8k

Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: first a lot of fluff, then a lot of angst, also this is an unhappy ending

I don’t usually do this but I really could not wait to share this version with you. Beware that about 2/3s of this chapter overlap with the original part you will get in Feburary (so, spoilers, I guess?) but that this is an idea of an alternate ending that did not leave me. I know that this is not something I usually do so I completely understand if you opt out of reading this part. Also, while writing this, I listened to the 10 minute version of All Too Well on repeat so … be warned. As always, please let me know what you think in a comment or reblog!

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

You were pretty sure you were dreaming at this point. But also, you knew you weren’t because Boba was standing very much in front of you, dressed in a black leather jacket (where had he gotten that one from?!) and a brown paper bag in his hands.

“Boba,” you echoed, “uh, what are you – I didn’t know you’d be here and, uh –“

But Boba did not answer you. “Brought you your takeout,” he said, holding up the bag, “The delivery guy was trying to figure out the ring system when I arrived.”

“Oh,” you swallowed, reaching out to take it from him, “Thank you.”

Boba did not move, “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” you squeaked out. You were uncomfortable aware of how you were just dressed in your saggy leggings and a shirt that had by far expired your three-day-wear rule and was wet from where your hair still had not dried properly. “What, uh, what do you want to talk about?”

The older man sighed, pushing past you into your little living room area and coming to stand in the middle of your kitchen. The last time he had stood there had been after he had spent the night at your place, just before you had found out that –

Your heart gave a painful lurch. There was only one reason why he had come here and you knew that you could no longer keep your feelings hidden. You knew that you owed him the truth and you knew that it would most likely not end well.

“I did not want to push it,” Boba said, looking around as if that would help him somehow, “I know that I … I know that I am not the best when it comes to … interpreting emotions. But I know that something is very wrong and I am worried.”

You tried to ignore the feeling of how your throat closed up and how your eyes stung from unshed tears.

He said your name, then, and your heart broke into a million pieces. “What is going on?” he repeated his question, “I know you and this – this is not you. This isn’t the woman I met in a bar all those months ago,” you involuntarily smiled at the memory, “And I won’t back down until I have an answer.”

You took a deep breath, trying to somehow keep it together. “First of all,” you took a deep breath, forcing yourself to meet his eyes, “I would like to apologize.”

Boba’s eyebrows shot up, “Apologize?”

You nodded quickly, pushing yourself to say more words. “It was not fair of me to, uh, push you away like that. I was the one who insisted on honest communication and I – I obviously wasn’t honest with you this last week.”

He did not say anything, a deep frown sitting on his face and you felt your courage falter. The urge to just get done with it grew in you and you took a deep breath, hearing yourself start to ramble.

“Look, I know that you don’t feel the same way and you don’t have to feel guilty about this because we didn’t – we never made things official, now did we? This is strictly a problem of me developing feelings where there shouldn’t be any and, uh, and it is not on you to cushion me or anything but I just need to say it because if I don’t I’ll never forgive myself and … I really like you, Boba, I –“ you huffed out a laugh and shrugged, grimacing as you tried to keep the tears at bay, “I really fucking like you.”

You hastily wiped your sleeve over your cheek, feeling them soak through the fabric. “There is nothing I can offer you,” you mumbled, “I just – I’m just me and I know I am not really exciting but I … I think what I feel for you is more than casual and I owe it to myself and to you to say that out loud.”

Boba stayed silent, simply looking at you like he always did. You didn’t know whether you wanted to laugh or go cry or to shout at him. He’d been a part of your life for months now and whereas you had opened up to him about everything and he could read you like an open book; his face often posed a mystery to you still.

“It’s okay that you don’t feel the same way, it really is,” you assured him, sniffling a little, “Please don’t feel bad, I –“

Your words came to a halt when he made a big step towards you. His hands were clammy as he pulled you tightly against him. All your breath rushed out of you at once, your eyes fluttering close at the comfort of having him close. His cologne was such a familiar scent, fresh tears collected in the corners of your eyes at the thought of never smelling it again.

Boba’s forehead came to rest against yours and his warm eyes met yours. His hands were on your hips, holding you steady while you tried to even out your breathing. He chuckled, low and warm and so familiar it made your heart ache.

“And who said I didn’t feel the same little one?” he whispered, his nose nudging against yours, “I’ve been in love with you from day one, it just took me a while to realize it.”

You sniffled, your heart pounding in your chest. “Really?” you asked, not knowing how to deal with this information.

He pressed a kiss to your left cheek, “Really.”

His big hand came up to cup the side of your face and you smoothed your cheek against his palm. Boba loved you.

He really loved you.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled, “If I had just gotten this out earlier, then we wouldn’t have to –“

“Are you kidding?” he pulled you in for a hug, his lips brushing against your ear as he laughed, “I was terrified you didn’t feel the same way. I am just glad we got to talk about it now.“

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, holding yourself tightly against him. After all this, you never wanted to let him go again.

But Boba pulled away from you, his lips gliding over your cheek in the process before he could plant the softest of kisses to your mouth. “So,” he started, looking smug with himself, “Do you have any plans next weekend?”

You shook your head, “No, why?”

“I have another business trip coming up,” he revealed, “And I thought maybe you could come to visit me for a few days? Get that vacation I was talking about?”

You smiled, “You were serious about that?”

“I was,” he confirmed, “What do you say, princess?” he grinned, pulling you closer, “Wanna go to the seaside with me?”

*

“I can’t believe you want to spend the weekend in some spa hotel rather than at goat yoga with me,” Nat whined, her locks bobbing up and down, “It’s goat yoga – do you have any idea how hard it is to get a free spot?”

She had abandoned her usual position of leaning her chin on the top of your cubicle to now stand in the small entrance, leaning against the grey soundproofing wall. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest in protest.

“I’m sorry,” you laughed, “Give me a head’s up next time and I won’t schedule a spontaneous trip when I could much rather break my back with a baby goat on top.”

Nat huffed, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. “You’re just saying that.”

“Maybe,” you grinned, “Couldn’t you ask Will to join you?”

You pointedly looked to where her shirt had shifted, revealing a darkening hickey on her cleavage, “It seems to me like he wouldn’t say no to you – even if it involves goat yoga.”

Nat wriggled her eyebrows. “Is it with the Bar Guy again?”

“Maybe,” you smiled, biting your lip to seem from being too excited.

“You know I think you should give John a chance.”

“John?” you echoed, confused, “I’m sorry, didn’t we just talk about how I am going on a trip with another man?”

“Another man I haven’t even met,” Nat reminded you stoically, “And if you were with John we could go on double dates. All this secrecy with your man is just screaming red flags if you ask me.”

You frowned, “Well, I didn’t ask you.”

“I’m just saying,” she shrugged, “You have hidden him from everyone from the very beginning – and if he is not the kind of partner you can spend time with openly, maybe he is not the kind of partner you should have?”

Her words hit something deep in you and you swallowed harshly. There was a pang in your heart as you wondered if maybe she was right? If just a single ounce of truth could make the relationship you had fall like a house of cards.

But then you remembered how genuine Boba had sounded, how elated you had felt when you realized that he reciprocated your feelings. There was no way you would allow yourself to spiral into the anxiety as you had before. Even if Nat meant well.

“Nat,” you started slowly, “I really appreciate you looking out for me. But I am an adult and I know when something feels real – and with this man … everything feels real with him, okay?”

Your friend huffed, clearly not quite convinced by your words. But she nodded.

”Very well then,” she muttered, “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

*

With having a half-day on Friday off, you were bouncing with excitement as you made your way to the train station, travel bag in hand. Boba had sent you the address to a hotel by the coast he had been staying in since Monday. It had been pure torture to be away from him when all you wanted was to enjoy this phase of being freshly in love.

The train ride was the perfect opportunity to conjure up daydreams about what the weekend had in store for you. The plan was to spend the weekend together and even have the extra Monday before you would drive home together – Boba had taken his car – and you were so happy about finally having the chance to really live your relationship out in the open.

As soon as you spotted the coast through the window, then as you exited the train station and on your way to the hotel, you felt the calm set in. You were on vacation now. For three days you had no obligations, no plans, no phone calls. Nothing but you and Boba and time.

So much time.

When you entered the hotel, you immediately felt in awe of the high ceilings and the pretty wallpaper. Although the lobby was large and packed with people, everything sounded hushed as if it had been wrapped in soft cotton. The quiet murmur of people talking made it seem much homier than if it had been completely abandoned.

Boba was sitting in a waiting area, dressed in a dark suit and looking so in charge it made your knees weak. As if he noticed your staring, he looked up from his phone, immediately spotting you and standing up, making his way towards you. The people parted for him like the sea and you smiled when you spotted his tell-tale grin.

“Hi,” he greeted you, leaning down to kiss you softly, “It’s good to see you.”

“I got the extra day on Monday approved,” you revealed with a smile, leaning into his kiss, “Which means we get to have three full days just for us.”

“Got mine approved too,” he grinned, his hands brushing over your wrist before taking your bag from you, “C’mon let me show you our room.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

Our room.

Walking through the lobby of the hotel, you could not help but think how far you had come together. From your first meeting in a bar to casual hook-ups in a dingy motel, you now spent a whole weekend together in some boutique hotel by the sea. Like a real couple.

Because you were a real couple.

Boba looked back at you, a soft look in his eyes and you smiled. This was your boyfriend, carrying your bag for you while leading you to the hotel room you would spend your romantic getaway in. You had not felt this giddy in a long time.

He stopped in front of a door with a grin, the keypad beeping as he unlocked the door for you. “Welcome home, princess.”

“Wow,” you mumbled as you took in the room, “Boba, this is – This is amazing.”

The room was not necessarily big, but spacious enough for a king-sized bed. There was a TV on the dresser and you spotted a vanity with one of those fancy lighted mirrors. On the far wall was a window nook that looked out onto the promenade and the beach, a few seagulls flying through the sky.

Your bag landed on the bed and you did not stop looking while you toed off your shoes, burying your toes in the soft carpet. You shrugged off your jacket, letting it fall onto an armchair in the corner as you continued to explore the room.

Everything was kept in muted and soft colours, making it both seem luxurious and extremely comfortable. You could see the signs of Boba’s having lived here for the last few days – his empty bag next to the dresser, the crumpled sheets on his side of the bed (your heart skipped a beat when you noticed how he had kept your side of the bed empty), his phone charger on the nightstand … It all screamed of him. The bathroom was big enough for a –

“Clawfoot tub,” Boba announced with a proud smirk, “After that poor excuse of a tub in the motel, I thought this might be a nice change.”

You could not hide your surprise. “You remember that? That was … That was so long ago.”

Boba crossed his arms in front of his chest, tilting his head with an inquisitive look in his eyes. “You think I forget any of the times we were together?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “I guess – I mean, I never really thought about it. But this,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, “This is perfect.”

He hummed, his hands trailing down your sides and landing on your butt. His stubble tickled you when you kissed him and you grinned, pulling yourself closer to him. The smell of his cologne was so familiar by now, it made being with him feel like coming home.

“’m so happy we have this,” you whispered into the crook of his neck, “All I want is to … is to …”

You trailed off, kissing him again when you could not find the words to tell him just how much this meant to you. How you relished in the feeling of his hands on your body, how they caressed you and made you feel desired and loved and – and wanted.

“I want to go outside and hold your hand,” he murmured as his lips wandered to your neck, his hands squeezing the flesh of your ass, “I want to kiss you and hug you and not care what anyone thinks of if anyone sees.”

“I want to take a walk on the beach,” you whispered against his lips, pressing a kiss against the corner of his mouth, “And go to dinner tonight maybe? All nice and cosy?”

“Sounds like an idea, princess,” he grinned, “Let me just get changed and then we can go explore.”

“Why?” you pulled away from him a little, eyes roaming over his appearance and taking in his suit-clad appearance once more. How come you had never seen him like that?

Boba chuckled, clearly noticing the effect he had on you. “I will note that down for later,” he rumbled, landing a playful swat on your butt, “But for now, let’s get ready for some fresh air, hm?”

*

The fresh sea air was phenomenal and a nice change from the staggering temperatures of your last beach holiday. It was a bit cooler now but still warm enough to comfortably wear a dress, a light breeze keeping you from getting too warm. Boba was dressed in a dark shirt and cut-off jeans, looking so casual and relaxed like he had been on vacation all his life.

You had one of his flannels tied around your hips, enjoying the warm sun rays on your bare shoulders for the moment even if the wind made it seem cooler than it was. Even if the lobby had been packed, the beach was empty enough that you had a whole strip of sand just for yourselves, slowly making your way across the sand and listening to the sounds of the waves.

Boba was holding your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles now and then as you both took in the surrounding landscapes. The grass was moving in the wind on dunes to the side and there were buildings sprinkled throughout, little boutiques, cafés, pubs and restaurants with people sitting outside, the smell of delicious seafood wafting through the air. This was a town that lived from its food industry and you could not wait to try it all.

You spotted a few names that the hotel had recommended and you could already see yourself having a romantic dinner with Boba in the evening. No need to hide from anyone.

But even with the weight of someone recognising you off your shoulders, you noticed the stares. To be fair, the people that pass you mostly ignored you but you would have been blind not to see the way some of them looked at you, clearly taking note of the apparent age difference.

You wondered what they thought. Did they expect it to be some kind of affair? Did they think you were a gold digger? Did they think it was not as serious as it was?

Boba tugged on your hand, pulling you closer and wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “What is going on in that pretty head of yours?” he asked quietly, turning so his lips brushed against your ear. You wished all you could ever hear was the waves and Boba’s voice in your ears.

“Just … stupid people are staring,” you muttered, “I know it shouldn’t bother me. I just –“

“Fear what they think of you?” he interjected and you nodded, your jaw clenching in frustration. You wanted to enjoy this time and not use it to suddenly develop new worries when you had finally gotten rid of the problems.

His hand squeezed your shoulder, his side pressing into yours and you could feel how he was thinking about what to say. “People suck,” he finally said, “And I wish we could just not care what they think of us but I know that is easier said than done.”

You waited for him to say something else but he did not and you wondered why that bothered you.

“How about an early dinner?” he suggested instead, leading you both off the beach and onto the wooden promenade. He was so decisive in where he went, you grew a little suspicious.

“That sounds like someone already has a plan.”

“I might have taken the … liberty to reserve a table for the two of us at the best restaurant in town,” he grinned, pressing a kiss to your temple.

You laughed, leaning into him. “You spoil me, Boba.”

“Like I said,” he murmured, happy that you were happy, “Nothing but the best for you, princess.”

*

When you woke up the next morning, the first thing you could hear were the seagulls outside the window, screeching over the promenade. The sheets were warm from how you had been cuddling with Boba all night. It was heavenly.

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you spotted a blurry Boba already sitting up next to you. His chest was bare and he was lit up by the golden morning light through the window. And still, he seemed to look only at you.

“What’re you staring at?” you asked him, the sleep not quite gone from your voice and the corner of his mouth quirked up.

“You,” he replied calmly, “You look so beautiful like this.”

You felt the blood rush into your cheeks and avoided his eyes. “It’s too early for you to be this sweet,” you mumbled bashfully, giggling when he ducked forward and pressed a kiss to your cheek, his stubble scratching your skin.

“Let a man look at his girlfriend,” he grinned, his eyes soft as he gazed at you and he splayed his warm hand over your lower back, “I love looking at you.”

His words made you feel all kinds of warm and you let yourself fall back into bed, Boba following until his weight rested on your body. “So, I really have you all to myself this weekend?” you asked him, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer, “No one else, just us two?”

“I have breakfast with some business colleagues on Monday but other than that, I am yours,” he smiled, leaning down to kiss you again. His tongue ran over your bottom lip and you opened your mouth for him.

You could hear the rumble in his chest, “We can do whatever you want, little one. We have all the time in the world.”

Those were the best words you had ever heard.

*

As soon as you had finished breakfast, the clouds that had been slowly gathering in the sky opened up to an absolute deluge that came raining down. The sound of the rainfall so loud, you could even hear it over the chatter of the other hotel guests.

“Guess we’ll stay inside for today,” Boba shrugged over his scrambled eggs and you smiled, an idea already forming in your head.

And so, you spent the entire day in the hotel: getting massages, ordering room service and – your favourite part by far – filling the clawfoot tub to the brim and taking a bath while Boba had to take an unexpected work call.

“I want one of those,” you announced later, freshly bathed and wrapped in a fluffy white robe, “That was a dream come true.”

Boba sat on the side of the bed, spreading his legs so you could stand between them. He smiled up at you, rubbing the belt of your robe between his fingers. “You look happy,” he noted, pressing a quick kiss to your hand.

“That’s because I am,” you replied, pressing your knees onto the bed so you could straddle him, “I hope work didn’t distract you too much.”

“It never could,” he rumbled, his hands finding their place on your hip, holding you to him. Your eyes fell to the TV where the starting credits of an old Western were playing.

“It’s my favourite one,” Boba revealed, “Thought we could watch it together.”

You nodded, climbing over his legs to your side of the bed, “I like that.”

Snuggled up against Boba’s chest while watching one of his favourite movies, you were convinced that there would be nothing that could take this feeling of absolute peace away from you. You were sheltered from the rest of the world, it was only you two. Nothing could ruin this.

But maybe someone could.

Your phone rang and you frowned. You weren’t expecting any calls.

Boba reached over to the night table, handing you your phone while you paused the movie. “Thanks,” you mumbled, the frown deepening when you looked at the screen, “I don’t know that number.”

“Hello?” you said, tilting your head to press it against your ear, highly aware of Boba next to you.

“Hi, uh, it’s John.”

“John?” your eyebrows rose in surprise, “How, uh, how do you have my number?”

“Nat gave it to me,” he replied quickly as if he already knew what you were going to say and his time was running out, “Listen, I know you said you’re seeing someone but I … I think we could really hit it off.”

Your eyes snapped to Boba. You knew it was quiet enough in the room that he could hear what the man on the other end of the line was saying and you noticed how his hands clenched.

“John, I’m –“ you took a deep breath, feeling your voice falter from nervousness, “I was serious when I said I am seeing somebody, John,” you simply said, blindly reaching out to grab Boba’s hand.

He turned his palm up, allowing you to lace your finger through his. Your shoulders relaxed when you felt his thumb start to draw patterns on the skin between your thumb and forefinger, patiently waiting for your call to end.

“Then why did Nat insist that I call you? Don’t you think we owe it to her to at least try?” John asked, annoyingly persistent and you felt your patience grow thinner.

“Well, quite frankly, John, I told you I am not interested,” you reminded him, “At this point, you should simply take my word for it. I’m not sure why she told you that but it is not true. I am not interested.”

And then you hung up and the mood was destroyed.

You could feel that something was bothering him and to his credit, he did not hide it. “Didn’t you tell him you were seeing someone?” he asked quietly, his hands playing with yours.

“Exactly, that was my point,” you reminded him, “I just don’t know why Nat would give him my number without asking or why she would encourage him to –“

You stopped talking, remembering the conversation you had with her just before you had left. Could it really be that she had … that she had just not believed you and decided to take matters into her own hands? Would she really do that?

“Encourage him to what?” Boba asked, looking a little bit more alert, “What did she tell you?”

“I think Nat is not really convinced how … healthy this relationship is for me,” you admitted sheepishly, adding quickly, “but she also doesn’t know who you are, so there’s that. I mean, all she knows is that I’m with a guy and I barely talk about him and don’t want her to meet him. That just screams of all kinds of red flags!”

You only realized what you had said when you saw the hurt in his eyes. It was a surreal moment, now that you thought about it, to see the man whose demeanour had been unwavering from the first moment you met openly hurt. And it broke your heart. “I didn’t mean to say …” you swallowed, “I hope you know that it doesn’t bother me. That I know these are not red flags.”

“Maybe they should be,” he replied shortly, starting the movie again.

“You can’t say something like that,” you sat up, reaching for the remote and switching the TV off. You frowned, “Boba, I did not wantJohn to call. And I was very clear with him that I am not interested. Are you really jealous?”

“I am not jealous,” he sighed, “It’s just … Why did you not tell me about Nat’s doubts?”

“Because it’s Nat,” you shrugged, “And because … Boba, this weekend was supposed to be about us enjoying each other’s company far away from everything, I didn’t want to bring it up yet.”

“Be honest with me,” he folded his hands in his lap, “Would you have brought it up later?”

You remained silent.

“I am twice your age, princess,” he started.

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” you protested, interjecting before he could say anything at all, “It hasn’t been a problem until now, has it?”

“Maybe it should be,” he said. And this time it wasn’t the grumpy undertone that broke your heart but how resigned he sounded.

“Why do you keep saying things should be problems when they’re not?” you asked, frustration and fear bubbling up in you, “Don’t you think we have struggled enough to make it to this point? Don’t you think that –“

“I have thought a lot about all of this,” Boba said instead, frowning.

“Don’t say it as if I’m too immature to deal with this,” you hissed, climbing off the bed, “I am an adult just like you.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he said quickly, “I mean … I am old, love. By the time you might think about having children I am a senior citizen. What – Do your parents even know about who you are seeing? I’m not the youngest anymore, I can’t – I can’t justify keeping you back in life.”

“I always thought that I was the insecure one in this relationship,” you murmured, “I did not think it was the both of us. Why did you never tell me?”

“I felt bad that you had to deal with Nat,” he admitted, “I didn’t want to add onto your plate.”

There it was again. Nat.

“Then let’s tell her,” you said, throwing your hands in the air, “Stars, please, let’s tell her, I want nothing more than to stop lying to my best friend while her dad is too fucking scared to actually talk to her and –“

The silence spoke more than a thousand words could and you felt dread settle in your stomach while realization set in. And not the good kind. Not the kind you wanted to have but the kind you wanted to forget – immediately – and instead live on your life sheltered from the doubts and harsh truths.

“Oh stars,” you whispered, “It – I didn’t mean that, the words just slipped out and – and …”

“It’s okay,” he smiled sadly, “You’re right, you know? I should have told her long ago but … I didn’t and maybe I was scared but maybe I knew that this is something that was harder than you deserve and –”

“Please don’t,” you whimpered, blinking the tears away, “Please don’t continue, Boba, I don’t – I love you, I don’t want this to end.”

“I love you,” he whispered, his voice breaking off towards the end, “I love you so much and you deserve the absolute best, princess, you deserve someone that can love you openly and without shame and who isn’t afraid to have the hard conversations. I’m … It’s not your job to change me, love. We have … what we had is the best thing that ever happened to me but I think – princess, maybe it’s better if we let this be.”

On Saturday, you drove home alone.

*

‘Cause there we are again when I loved you so

*

“I’m so glad you could make it!” Nat squealed, coming up the car as soon as you had pulled up, “You look awesome!”

“Thank you,” you smiled, looking back at the man who sat at the wheel, “John told me it’s very BBQ appropriate.”

“It is,” he laughed, coming around the car to throw his arm around your shoulder, “My girlfriend should trust my fashion sense more.”

You felt like your smile was a grimace at this point but he did not seem to notice.

Somewhere in the bulk of people around the grill, Will called for his girlfriend. “Oh well, seems like I’m needed already,” the redhead joked, “But you know the drill, so have fun and I’ll catch you later.”

“Sure thing,” you smiled, still feeling uneasy.

It had been almost a year.

Being back here, seeing his house, his family, the place where so much had begun … it brought out all the emotions you had tried to get rid of since that summer. But it seemed that it had not worked. Because here you were again, feeling like the only man you had ever loved was the man who did not want to be with you.

You were lost in thought, eating a serving of potato salad next to John when you spotted a pair of shoes that were not supposed to be there and your heart stopped.

“Hi, man,” John greeted him with a laugh and a slap on the shoulder, “It’s good to see you.”

You did not want to look at him. You wanted to look at him. You wanted to scream at him for all the memories he had tainted for you, you wanted to beg him to take you back. You wanted himback.

Boba looked only at you. “You too, John.”

“John, could you help me get that kiddie pool set up over there?“ Poppy asked. You had not even noticed she was here, too. “Roger is busy guarding the BBQ against Will and Nat’s shenanigans.”

“Sure thing,” your boyfriend replied, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek, “I’ll be back in a sec, babe.”

You did not say anything – could not say anything. Because Boba was standing right in front of you, looking at you so softly it brought everything back. All the love and all the heartbreak.

“I see you, uh, you moved on,” he said, clearing his throat.

“I’m not the only one,” you said numbly, nodding to the younger woman you had seen him kiss earlier when you had pretended that it did not affect you in the slightest. In truth, you could still feel the ice-cold shiver run down your spine when you had seen how he had touched her so lovingly in front of everyone. Never had you wanted to take someone else’s place so badly.

“Yeah,” he nodded, his lips a straight line, “Natalie introduced us a few months ago.”

You scoffed, feeling the hurt start all over again. “Must be nice to have to hide it,” you muttered, feeling shame rise up in you as soon as the words left you. You did not want to sound bitter. Even if you were.

Stars, you felt so bitter. So betrayed. So lost.

Something shifted in his look, his eyes becoming impossibly soft and you watched his fingers twitch as if he wanted to reach out to you. And you wanted him to. You wanted him to touch you again and tell you he loved you. Because he had. He had loved you.

“Princess …”

You flinched. “Please,” you brought out, feeling tears prick your eyes, “Please don’t call me that, Boba, I – I can’t bear it.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered and you could hear how genuine he was. His eyes looked dangerously wet and your bottom lip began to tremble when you realized that you were both about to cry in the middle of the garden, surrounded by people who had no idea how much you meant to each other.

“I’m so sorry,” he said again, “For everything.”

“Yeah,” you nodded quickly, pressing your lips together as if that would keep you together, “Me too.”

*

Back before you lost the one real thing you’ve ever known.

#maybege writes #boba fett x reader #boba fett x fem!reader

[ericspinkhair]

dirty thoughts from a distance

pairing: dom!changmin x virgin!reader, best friends to lovers, college au!

synopsis: you masturbate while thinking of your best friend and he catches you moan out his name

word count: 3.8k

warnings: maybe slight angst, (getting caught) masturbating, mutual masturbation, sex in general ig

a/n: y'all are crazyy! it has barely been 19 days and I have already hit 100 followers🤧 thank you guys so much for your support and sending in requests!!! everytime I see leave me nice messages I feel so encouraged to keep on writing even though there is still a lot of room to improve and I am not always completely satisfied with what I create. I wish all of you a great day and hope that you stay happy and healthy!!

this chapter is especially dedicated to @bangcrispychannie​ and anon who requested this kind of scenario ❤️

masterlist + requests

for three years you wondered why you hadn't lost your virginity yet. it's not like you didn't have enough opportunities since you had been in two relationships so far, both lasted about five to seven months.

the feelings in your first relationship were been mostly one-sided however.

when a guy in your biology class named Minho confessed his crush for you, you thought that the only logical next step was to become a couple. you were quite flattered that he had taken such an interest in you and believed and hoped you would eventually develop feelings for him as well. the problem was you didn't. after not being able to be emotionally let alone physically intimate with him for a few months into your relationship, he finally confronted you and you confessed that you just couldn't bring yourself to see him that way. your relationship came to an end just before becoming a senior in high school.

in your last year, you got close with Seonghwa. you were seat neighbors in your english class and you'd chat all the time. he was perfectly sweet, smart and funny and you instantly got along just fine. you developed an interest in him and he seemed to feel the same way. he asked you out with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and some chocolate and you agreed to being his girlfriend without much thought. you caught yourself falling in love with this boy and didn't shy away from physical affection such as kissing and holding hands. you were convinced you were ready to give yourself to him during prom night but when it came to it you chickened out. a couple of hours before, you had found out that your best friend changmin had broken up with his girlfriend of six months.

for a long time you hadn't been able to decipher why you hadn't slept with Seonghwa then. as time passed, the unpleasant answer became clearer and clearer: you had brought up your hopes.

you had been best friends with changmin basically since you started elementary school. on the first day, he scared you with a stupid horror mask he had sneaked in from home and made you cry. he felt so guilty and was determined to make it up to you and to become friends. you had been inseparable ever since.

when he got his first girlfriend in junior year you were devastated. you convinced yourself that the reason for that was that you had been scared he was going to replace you as his best friend but in reality you had felt jealousy.

you were suppressing your feelings because if you confessed, things might become awkward. there was no way changmin could ever like you the same way.

all of this became more difficult as you moved in together for college. you were sharing an apartment now and every day, it became harder to avoid your growing and troublesome feelings. your heart would beat faster whenever he walked around shirtless (which was most of the time) and you decided to try to ignore him. this was especially difficult since you wanted to appreciate his physique. when had he become this handsome? changmin had been dancing all his life so he had always been fit but now that he was majoring in it and training most of the time, his body had developed and he had become super toned and his abs were more prominent.

he'd often make his way into your dreams and you'd let him do inappropriate things with you. you'd wake up wet and needy and even more confused. you were ashamed of seeing him this way. this was not how one normally thought about their best friend.

it was a wednesday morning and you were eating breakfast when changmin joined you in the kitchen. he flashed you a big smile, making his pretty dimples appear which you didn't see as you did not look at him.

'good morning, y/n!' he greeted you in a good mood. you just grunted in response, intensely staring at the cereal swimming in your bowl.

the fact that you couldn't even spare him a glance hurt changmin but he tried to not let it show. he wanted to get you to talk to him.

'do you want to watch a movie and play some board games today after class?' he proposed. you hadn't spent a lot of time together ever since you had become aware of your feelings.

'I have an essay due tomorrow,' you quickly made up as an excuse. the corners of changmin's mouth twitched but you didn't notice as you were too preoccupied with doing anything that didn't include looking at him.

'then maybe on the weekend. or next-' 'I'll be busy,' you interjected. 'I have lots to do.' you stressed the lots to emphasize there was absolutely no way you would be able to hang out with him any time soon.

'umm… okay. I'll be going to class.' he told you dejected. your heart sank but you didn't respond. he was wondering whether he had done anything to make you upset but he couldn't wrap his mind around it. this had been going on for a while and he was starting to become desperate.

when you first got the apartment you spent every free minute of the day together, happy that you finally moved out and could be with each other 24/7, but then you stopped talking to him completely out of nowhere. from one day to the other, you would avoid leaving your room when he was outside and barely talked to him anymore. at first, changmin thought you were just stressed and that you'd eventually warm up again when exam season came to an end but a few months had passed and, if anything, the situation was even worse than before.

you were watching the time and after ten minutes you decided to leave for classes as well. you had started doing this so you couldn't possibly catch up to him and risk having a conversation.

'hey, y/n, what's up!' your friend chanhee hugged you when you arrived on campus. you were both majoring in fashion design and were getting along on well since the beginning of the first semester.

you sighed exasperatedly. 'changmin's up.' you puffed your cheeks and pouted. chanhee nodded knowingly. he was the only person who was aware of your little secret and that was only because you had accidentally drunk confessed the whole story to him at your first college party.

'you know maybe you should tell him. this whole thing is clearly not making you happy and I saw changmin walk by a few minutes ago. if I had to guess I'd say he was in an even worse mood than you. someone accidentally ran into him and he pushed them hard and called them names. it's not like him to overreact like this. he's usually super collected. I think you finally managed to break his spirit,' chanhee reported to you.

this had never been what you intended. why did everything have to be so difficult? you didn't want to be the cause of your best friend's unhappiness.

'he must feel like I despise him. but I cannot confess to him, that would be the end of our friendship!' you were constantly torn apart by this dilemma.

'well, if you're not gonna act on your feelings, maybe try to move on? find something casual or serious with someone new? then you'd forget all about changmin and you'd be able to go back to acting normal around him' he suggested.

chanhee's advice didn't sound too bad. if you couldn't get with changmin then you had to de-crush yourself and find somebody different to focus your emotional energy on. but on who?

'is there anyone you could think of?' you ask chanhee. he had great taste in practically everything so you highly valued his opinion.

'hmm, you could potentially try younghoon hyung? I've seen him eyeing you for weeks now and he even told me thinks your gorgeous.' he wiggled his eyebrows teasingly.

younghoon was a pretty art student, whom chanhee knew from high school. you didn't talk to him often, mostly at parties and he wasn't exactly your type but you tried to remember shouldn't judge him by his first impression when you haven't even got to know him.

chanhee pulled out his phone and soon you felt yours vibrate in your back pocket. you looked at him questioningly.

'I sent you his number in case you're interested,' he explained proudly. he put his hand on your shoulder and you could see the concern in his eyes. 'you really need to get over changmin if don't want to confess,' he insisted firmly.

so you decided to text younghoon during class. he was very polite and you thought he was cute as he seemed excited to talk to you. you agreed to hang out sometime to get to know each other and decided to meet up friday for dinner.

after the end of your classes, you walked home to warm up yesterday's leftovers. to your dismay, changmin had also decided to come home for once. since you began acting all weird and refused to eat with him, he usually spent lunch time with his dance mates as they had practice after anyway. why had he decided to come here today? your question was answered when he ran up to you, smiling from ear to ear and you noticed he was hiding something behind his back.

'you know how there is a blackpink concert downtown on friday? guess what!' he held up two tickets. surely you would at least agree to spend time with him if it meant being able to see your favorite group, right?

he must have gone through so much trouble to get tickets for you and since blackpink were your favorite music artists you were actually contemplating on going but then you remembered you had made plans.

'I can't. I'm going out with younghoon friday night.'

'kim younghoon?' he raised an eyebrow skeptically.

'why would you to be spending time together? I didn't know he was even talking to you,' he questioned you. anger was boiling inside of you.

'maybe it's because you don't know everything about me,' you snapped at him. you were aware that you were being harsh but somehow his words hurt you. why did he doubt you? did he think you weren't able to get with someone as awesome and popular as younghoon? did he not consider you pretty enough?

the microwave beeped, indicating your food was ready, making you snap out of your thoughts.

'y/n, I swear, that's not what I meant.' he stepped directly in front of you so you were forced to look at him. you stared deep into his pleading eyes as you closed the microwave door, turned your back to him, stomped to your room and slammed the door shut, leaving changmin behind in the kitchen.

your whole body was tense as you listened closely to any sounds coming from outside and felt relieved when you heard the front door close. feeling sad and depressed always made you feel tired so you decided to take a nap to forget about all the negative feelings.

when you woke up you were horny af. you had a dream about changmin taking you on the kitchen counter and now your panties were completely soaked with your arousal.

desperate, you pulled them down and tossed them somewhere to the side. it didn't matter. you needed relief now.

you closed your eyes as you slowly started rubbing your clit, imagining it was changmin's slender fingers touching you instead. your imagination was running wild and you sped up the tempo.

eventually, you plunged your middle finger and then your index finger inside you, pretending that changmin was stretching your walls with his cock.

you moaned loudly and picked up the pace, chasing your high. oh, how much you wished he was the one making you come.

'yes?' you opened your eyes and gasped loudly as you saw changmin watching you from the doorway. you hecticly pulled up your blankets to your chest to cover your naked lower body. for how fucking long had he been standing there?

'oh fuck, changmin...' you cursed out loud.

to your surpise he laughed. 'oh, is this why you have been so distant? were you embarrassed about imagining doing dirty things with me?' your cheeks were burning red and you were unable to move a muscle.

'you know, if you had told me you were thinking of me while doing it then I could've helped you out already. that would have spared both of us a lot of frustration.' he stepped into the room and pulled the sheets away, his hungry eyes fixed on your desperately dripping pussy. you tried to hide it with your hands.

'n-no… what are you saying? aren't we best friends? ' you couldn't comprehend what was happening right now. the way he was acting was so unexpected that you didn't know how to react or what to say. he brushed his hand over your burning cheeks. his eyes were conveying disparity.

'but what if I told you I don't care? that I like you? that I see you as more than just my best friend?'

'wait, you like me?' you couldn't believe your ears. was he actually reciprocating your feelings?

he groaned in exasperation. 'y/n, why did you think I ended things with my ex out of the blue?' you shrugged your shoulders as you weren't sure. you had thought it was because she had lost interest in him, at least that's what changmin had told you back then.

'because I realized I was in love you, you dumbass. how could I be together with someone if I had feelings for someone else?'

'I actually ruined my chances of having sex with seonghwa for the first time for the same reason. it was just after I had found out about the breakup,' you confessed, relieved that you were finally beginning to make sense of everything.

he climbed onto the mattress and positioned his knees next to your closed legs, leaning his hands on the wall behind you so that he was hovering above you.

'I'm sorry that you lost that opportunity. let me make it up to you,' he whispered with his face mere inches from yours and then kissed you. losing all self-restraint, you immediately pulled his body closer so that he was straddling you. after all these months filled with sexual frustration and just frustration in general, you were desperate for his touch. your hands wandered under his dance shirt and you were finally able to touch those abs you had been secretly admiring for so long.

you broke the kiss to take off both of your shirts and changmin skillfully unclasped your bra.

while his tongue was exploring the insides of your mouth, his hands were kneading your breasts, occasionally rubbing and pinching your hardened nipples. you felt his hard dick press against your lower abdomen as he grinded himself into you to get friction.

after having dreamt about this moment for so long, you felt impatient. this was too good to be true and you were scared that if you didn't act quick, your bubble would bust.

without thinking twice about it, you pulled down the hem of his sweatpants and boxers just far enough so you could easily reach inside and whip out his dick. you stopped for a moment to admire his length. it looked even better than you had ever imagined in any of your wildest dreams.

he sat upright, leaning on the wall behind you, while you stroked his cock. he was sensitive to your touch and not shy to show you how well you were doing by responding with moans.

'fuck, y/n. you're doing amazing.' his praise made you eager to show him just how good you could make him feel. your lack of experience was barely noticeable as the adrenaline flowing through your veins was guiding you.

you tapped his thighs to signalize him to inch closer. that way your mouth had easier access to his dick. you hesitantly licked up his length and were fascinated by how he tasted. wanting to have more of it, you swirl your tongue around his pink tip. changmin eventually became impatient and forced more of his dick inside your mouth so you tried to take as much of him as you could but your gag reflex made it difficult for you. instead, you worked your hands where your mouth couldn't do its job.

not wanting you to feel neglected, changmin reached behind him to stimulate your clit. he skillfully started rubbing all the right places and you moaned around him, sending vibrations through his cock.

he couldn't take this stimulation for much longer before he had to force himself to pull out of your mouth.

'wow, you almost made me come there.' he panted heavily. 'but I want to be inside you first.' you got lost in his touch as he placed a long kiss on your lips but a sudden thought brought you back to reality.

'wait, I don't have a condom,' you informed him embarrassed. you hadn't planned to lose your virginity any time soon so you hadn't bought any. did that mean the end of this wonderful dream?

but changmin laughed light heartedly. 'no need to worry. hold up, let me get some from my room.' you relaxed again as he disappeared and came back shortly with a condom wrapper in his hand.

you were prepared for him to start right away and took a deep breath in preparation but he didn't do anything.

'I don't think it's a good idea to start yet since I haven't even prepared you. the last thing I would want to do is hurt you so just lay back.'

he positioned your legs over his shoulders so your hips were hovering in the air. you felt his warm breath against your vagina before he drove his tongue inside you, seeing for himself how wet he had made you and tasting your arousal. you clasped your hands over your mouth to stop yourself from releasing any sounds.

'don't do that. I want to hear how good I make you feel,' changmin complained.

when he slid two fingers inside you, you couldn't hold it in anymore and let out some kind of aroused squeal. you felt self-conscious but it seemed like changmin was only more eager to please you.

at the same time, his tongue was abusing your swollen clit and it was impossible for you to hold back the curses that were spilling out of your mouth. the pleasure he was making you feel was a whole different sensation from anything else you've experienced before.

'more please, changmin!' you begged. you wanted more. you needed more. you needed him.

he carefully lowered your hips back down. 'are you sure you want this?' he asked you, waiting for you to clearly consent to having sex with him.

'I want you. you, and only you,' you reassured him and brought his face closer to kiss him. changmin's typical bright smile formed and you felt the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

he positioned himself at your entrance, swiping his dick between your folds like a credit card to coat it with your juices.

you gripped his arms tightly as he pushed in. he slowly continued until all of him was buried deep inside you before stopping. the feeling of a whole penis inside of you was very different from your or changmin's fingers. it filled you up to the brim and was rubbing all the good spots. while it initially caused you a bit of discomfort, it wasn't overwhelming and it also felt good in a weird way.

when your walls finished adjusting to his length, he began to steadily move his dick in and out.

changmin intensely studied your face. he couldn't believe that after all those years you were finally close to being his. he wanted to savor every single expression you made while he was inside you.

you wrapped your legs around his torso, trying to push him deeper. he slammed his cock back inside you.

'you are mine,' he declared and started going harder and faster.

'I am yours,' you confirmed and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss.

because of the extensive foreplay and your own masturbation prior to this, it didn't take long until your walls were tightening around his dick and you felt an orgasm approaching.

driven wild by you clenching around his cock, he thrusted into you even faster. you rested your sweaty foreheads against each other as both of you almost came simultaneously.

changmin kissed the top of your head before he pulled out and threw away the used condom. you opened your arms and he let himself fall right into your embrace.

'I know this might be kind of weird to talk about right now but do you want to be my girlfriend?' Changmin asked you. he still wasn't too sure what all of this meant for your relationship and he desperately needed to know where your mind was at.

'after having liked you for all this time I'd be an idiot to say no.' 'you're an idiot anyway,' he teased. you slapped his arm.

'hey! I'm not the one who ignored you for a couple of months because my hormones are out of control.' you hid your face in the crook of his neck, too embarrassed face him.

'I'm really sorry for that. you just mean so much to me and I didn't want my feelings to get in the way of our friendship.' he stroked your hair.

'I do understand that. if I hadn't heard you moan my name today I wouldn't have acted on my feelings either. but all is good now, right?' 'right.' you smiled and placed a small kiss below his ear.

'there is still one thing you need to do,' changmin tried to remind you. you looked at him, puzzled.

'what do you mean?' 'younghoon,' he hinted. you immediately started looking for your phone. that date was definitely going to have to be cancelled. there was no need for you to find a distraction anymore since you had been granted your wish after all.

#ji changmin smut #ji changmin scenario #the boyz q smut #the boyz q scenario #the boyz changmin smut #the boyz changmin scenario #the boyz ji changmin smut #the boyz ji changmin scenario #the boyz smut #the boyz scenario #the boyz #ji changmin #the boyz changmin #the boyz q #kpop smut #kpop scenario #kpop #smut

[donald4spiderman]

OKAYYY so for the angst request- reader is very paranoid and insecure from past relationships and needs a lot of validation and one day for some reason spencer is in a bad mood (maybe a bad case) and snaps on her and she’s like 😮🙁 and then spencer apologizes later on but she’s just like k lol!! or she can forgive him idk i just like this concept and love how you write angst

YES THIS IS MY KIND OF SHIT

sry this request took so long to do it guy buried in my inbox

TW: fighting uh oh, angst, unhappy ending

-

She’s been paranoid for a long time. Spencer Reid is the best boyfriend in the world, and for the past three months, everything between them has been effortless. But they’ve been dating for so long without some fuck up that she’s starting to anticipate something horrible soon.

Spencer knows about (Y/N)’s issues to a certain extent. She’s always been a guarded person, even before they started dating— always expecting the worse from people, never revealing anything personal, keeping everyone at a distance. This is her first steady relationship in four years, and she can’t help but be worried, even though Spencer’s given her no reason to be.

It’s three am, and she hears shuffling around her bedroom. She instinctively reaches over to wrap her arm around Spencer, but he’s not there.

She opens her eyes slightly to find that he’s slipping on a pair of pants and buttoning up his shirt.

“What’s going on?” She mumbles, her voice thick with sleep.

“I have a case.” He states dryly, obviously irritated that Hotch called him in the middle of the night. “I’ll be gone for a while.”

“Oh.” She sighs, wide awake now. “Do you have any idea when you’ll be back?”

“No,” He scoffs. “That’s the thing about my job— I can’t just tell you exactly when we’ll catch a serial killer. It doesn’t work like that.”

Her usual tender and sweet boyfriend has turned into a snappy, on-edge jerk. They’ve never had an issue surrounding his hectic schedule. She’s always been completely accommodating. It’s strange to see him behave this way.

She’s never seen him like this before, it makes her skin crawl and her smile fade into a dim frown. “I never said it works like that. Why are you acting like this?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m being interrogated at three in the morning by someone who couldn’t possibly understand the complexity and spontaneity of my job? Although, I shouldn’t expect much from a middle-school teacher.”

“Spencer!” She exclaims, sick of his offensive rant. “All I asked is when you’ll be home. Aren’t I allowed to ask when my boyfriend will be home? You don’t have to insult me!”

“I’m not insulting you— you’re just dramatic, (Y/N). I’m tired and you’re trying to fight with me right now and I don’t have the time for it!”

Her hands grip at the air in frustration. “I’m not trying to fight. You’re the one snapping at me. I’m just trying to be a good girlfriend!”

“You’re sure doing a shit job at it.” Spencer bites, the severity of his words washing over him when he sees his girlfriend’s lower lip tremble. She never cries. At least, he’s never seen her cry. It’s a whole new thing for him, and now he feels like a piece of shit. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—“

“No.” She interrupts with the point of her finger, inhaling deeply and shoving her sadness deep down inside. “If that’s how you feel, then you are no longer welcome in my home, Spencer.”

“(Y/N), c’mon.” He pleads.

She shakes her head, “No. You don’t get to pretend to be all sad as if you didn’t just berate me for the better half of ten minutes because I asked when you’ll be back home. Well, luckily for you, this is no longer your home. You can go, Spencer. You’re not welcomed into my apartment or my heart if you think you can treat me like that.”

“Are you b-breaking up with me.” Spencer stammers, tears slipping from the whites of his eyes and down to his cheeks.

She nods, lips pursed. “I’ll pack your stuff up once you leave. I’ll drop it off at your place so you don’t have to force yourself to come back here.”

Spencer stands in shock for a solid minute before wordlessly waking out of the bedroom. She hears the jingle of his keys turning in the lock, and finally allows herself to breathe.

It’s so early. (Y/N)’s awake before the birds are, imagining how different things would’ve been if she stayed asleep long enough for him to leave.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #dr reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #angst #spencer reid angst #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid oneshot #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds angst #spencer reid x y/n

[merakiui]

hii could we get an angsty scenario/hcs of xiao and scaramouche/any characters you prefer! who are basically head over heels for someone but that person keeps getting with the wrong people and constantly getting their heart broken? Preferably with a good/fluffy ending but it’s up to you!

cw: angst + heartbreak  note - decided to go for scenarios! (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[Xiao] 

One Call Away—

The sudden shout of his name had brought him out into the open, where he finds you sitting in a field of wildflowers, your head hung and quiet sobs racking your hunched form.

“You called?” The gruffness in his voice startles you and your head snaps up. He notices your pained expression and the tears that refuse to cease, and it gives birth to a strange feeling within his chest. “What happened? Surely I am not too late.” And then he shakes his head. “No, I’m never late.”

“Ah... I’m sorry.” You sniffle, pitifully rubbing at your eyes. “I guess your name slipped out. I didn’t mean to bother you. I just didn’t mean to call for you either.”

Xiao raises a brow and then surveys the surrounding area. “Well, it doesn’t look like you’re in any mortal peril. In that case, I’ll leave you to—”

“No!”

Your sudden shout startles the both of you, with you drawing back and Xiao’s eyes widening ever so slightly. He wonders why you’re crying when beautiful scenery surrounds you. Are you truly that pathetic? Are mortals usually this weak-hearted? Xiao can’t wrap his head around the idea of grief; he’s an immortal who has seen plenty of hazardous scenarios worth grieving over. Yet with the passage of time he has learned to let such emotions drift away on a wind current. Emotions are useless to an adeptus.

But now he’s stuck with them.

“No?”

“D-Don’t go...” Your voice wobbles and you wipe at your reddened eyes. “I don’t want to bother you, but could you stay here with me? For a little while, at least. It’s all I’ll ask...”

He feels like he should decline your desperate plea before it spreads its perplexing roots throughout his system. The words are practically on the tip of his tongue and he struggles to verbalize them. If he could, he’d shake his head and vanish from your sight. There’s something about your expression that forces him to stay, and he truly detests the way his emotions run wild at the prospect of something he can’t quite comprehend.

“Fine.”

And so Xiao listens to you. It’s something he does best; his eyes and ears are open as he gives you his full, undivided attention. Half of him observes your reactions as you explain what happened and the other half zeros in on the way your subtle hand motions. While he might not be anywhere near a cupid—and he would never be caught giving out relationship advice to mortals, which is something he couldn’t do even if he tried—he is still a being of immense power. From what he’s able to understand from your explanation, your loved one decided to part from you because they believed it just wasn’t working. And you, having been struck with an immense sadness, failed to call out to them to clear up any misunderstandings.

Eventually, after internally wrestling with his own thoughts and feelings, he asks, “Do you want me to teach them a lesson? Should you need them to feel the same amount of despair you’re feeling—”

“Oh, no! No. No. They don’t deserve to be punished for that. I understand now that our feelings weren’t the same. We really weren’t working and that’s okay. It just...hurts.”

Xiao tilts his head, an innocently childish show of confusion. “Where?”

“It’s not a physical pain, Xiao. I mean, it could be. But...this is more emotional.” Your hand reaches out, fingers wrapping around his wrist. He stares down at your hand and he almost pulls away. Before he can even consider what’s happening, you’re guiding his hand to where your heart is. “In here. It hurts now, but I’ll overcome it eventually. I’m used to it anyways...”

The straight-faced adeptus remains still as he feels the fast-paced beat of your heart. Mortals have always been weak in his eyes: feeble beings who break at the slightest inconvenience. Although you don’t seem close to shattering and that confuses him more than he’d like to admit. Perhaps you are one of the more resilient humans he’s come across in recent years. It’s strange when he feels your heartbeat, so very certain and alive with the sour feelings a heartbreak brings. He’s never understood that either. Heartbreaks and relationships. The differences between friendship and romance. Both can be seen through to the very end, if fostered healthily.

So then why are you so sad?

Truthfully, you’ve always seemed sad to Xiao. As an adeptus, he’s never been able to fully grasp the meaning behind human emotions. They’re insignificant in his eyes, mere flashes of feeling that can hurt and blind. They’re troublesome and useless—certainly not something he would ever want to experience. But those emotions can heal and bring cheer. They’re not all entirely bad, nor are they as evil as he seems to think they are.

Xiao realizes his hand has been on your chest for a while now and he’s been staring at you so much that you’ve begun to shrink away, partially embarrassed to have him analyze you with so much scrutiny.

“Is...something wrong?”

He shakes his head slowly at first before retracting his arm. And then he notices you’ve stopped crying. He’s not sure when this happened, but he’s oddly relieved to see your neutral expression. Somehow your crying face is painful and it wounds him in a way he never would have imagined.

“Thank you for listening to my rant. I know this is probably meaningless to you, since you’re an adeptus and all, but it really means a lot. So I’m glad I was able to get these things off my chest. I feel a lot lighter now.”

“You’re not sad?”

“Ah. Well...” Your gaze flickers, eyes darting to and fro while you struggle to look at him. “I’m still sad, but I’ll get over it! Don’t worry! I’m resilient!”

Xiao’s brow furrows in confusion. As he has thought plenty of times before, mortals are far too complex. Eventually he sighs and says, “It’s okay to cry. Don’t keep that inside, okay? You’ll just hurt yourself even more.” Now he’s avoiding your gaze and there’s a barely noticeable tinge of pink dusting his pale cheeks. He’s really not good at consoling humans.

“Oh, Xiao.” You pull him in for a hug and he stiffens, trying to squeeze out of your arms like a cat near water. But then he feels your fingers digging into his arm and he realizes that you might actually need this hug. Despite the fact that he’s not used to freely giving out hugs—or even cheering up mortals, for that matter—he is definitely out of his element. “Really, thank you. I promise to make you an Almond Tofu as thanks.”

“There’s no need for that.” Hesitantly, as if he’s worried he’ll break you, he wraps his arms around your form. “I’m just helping you because you called my name. That’s all.”

But that’s not the full truth. Hidden in those words is the real reason why he even bothered to stay despite the false alarm. And it worries Xiao when he thinks about the implications. He really does like you and this admiration has surpassed platonic love. As long as you’re okay, though, he’ll swallow his feelings in favor of making sure you’re always happy. It’s one of his duties as your friend.

Friend. A word Xiao never thought he’d ever use, but it feels nice. He likes it.

Yet The Distance Remains Harrowing.

[Scaramouche] 

To Mend a Broken Heart—

You’re spilling your emotional guts in front of the Sixth of the Fatui Harbingers, tears freely running down your cheeks like two faulty water faucets. It’s a pathetic sight, really. Scaramouche witnessed this exact show just a few weeks ago when you were so certain that that fisher was the one. Now, after meeting and getting together with someone else for a short time, you’ve come out of yet another relationship, unhappy and unsatisfied.

He’s jealous. There’s no denying the envy he feels when you talk so highly of these people and then wail about them a few days later. It’s a vicious cycle of mending a fragile heart and then breaking it into pieces all over again. With no end in sight, you fall victim to your own demise in the pursuit of love. He wonders if you’ll ever learn to choose your next partner carefully rather than settling for anything with a pulse.

“This is exactly what I said would happen, was it not?” he says with a sigh. “Oh, woe is you. If you were smarter, this last relationship might have lasted longer.”

“That’s rich coming from you. I’ve never seen you in a relationship before,” you mutter, wiping angrily at your eyes. His eyelid twitches at the not-so-subtle jab. “Ugh!I hate being so unlucky! This is the worst.”

“Rather than your foul luck, I think the problem lies within you and your taste in partners.”

Sniffling, you lower your head onto the table, hoping to just melt into the crafted wood before you end up making even more of a fool out of yourself. It’s rare to be in the company of Scaramouche, considering how often he’s assigned missions that require swift travel and a covert profile. But whenever you do find yourself sitting across from him, indulging in light snacks and tea, it’s always because you’ve lost your latest lover; and your own sadness requires the nullifying effects of Scaramouche’s cynicism.

“They’re good people! I just don’t know why it never works out. We’re happy and we both like each other—it doesn’t make any sense. Am I missing something? Is it my fault? They probably got tired of me because I’m not a good person.“

“Perhaps.” He takes a moment to sip his tea and you muster a weak glare. Only Scaramouche can delight in his beverage while you’re holding back another onslaught of tears. “Your crocodile tears are hardly flattering and your apparent need for consistent affection might come off as clingy. And you have a tendency to find flaws within yourself whenever something doesn’t go your way. Adding onto that, you doubt yourself a lot and you’re always quick to take the blame for things that are out of your control. In a way you are partially—”

“I get it. I’m not a good person.”

“I never said anything of that sort. Now you’re just asking for pity.”

Oh, how close you are to punching that smirk off of his face.

“Then since you seem to know everything, my oh so helpful friend, why don’t you tell me what I’m missing?”

“With pleasure.” His cup finds the surface of the table as he ponders your demand for a moment. “You’re missing someone who meshes well with your personality.”

“That’s not true. Everyone I’ve been with so far—“ His skeptical look makes you stop short. “Okay. Maybe we forced it because we thought it was love. But that’s besides the point! There was still an attraction! I think...” You huff and bury your face in your arms, nearly almost sprawling on the table. You’re too depressed to even consider how impolite your actions look, and Scaramouche scoffs at your poor display of manners. “Where am I even going to find someone who ‘meshes well with my personality,’ hm?”

“I’m sure you’ve already found them.” He clears his throat, tracing a finger along a sanded knot in the wooden table. “You’re sitting across from him.”

Whether he intended for you to hear that whispered part, you can’t say for sure. But your head perks up and you fix him with a lopsided grin. “You’re kidding.”

“Hm?”

“Me and you, a couple?” A small giggle escapes your lips and you swipe the remaining tears out of your eyes. “Don’t joke about that. I’m trying to be sad here!”

It wasn’t a joke, he almost says and he catches himself, suddenly self-conscious.

“I don’t think we’d work out,” you continue, motioning between you and him. “We’d hardly see each other and you don’t seem like the type for romance. Besides, I’m not attracted to you in that way. You feel the same, right?”

Scaramouche stares into his cup before he meets your gaze, a tight smile gracing his expression. “Of course. Your inability to settle isn’t all that attractive.”

Your eyes roll and you finally pick up your own cup to take a large gulp of lukewarm tea. The bitter Harbinger observes your actions with narrowed eyes. There’s a distinct pain that taps at his hardened soul, splitting it apart as your words echo within his spinning head. I don’t think we’d work out. I’m not attracted to you in that way. Why is he suddenly feeling...upset? He’s not one for pitiful emotions; he’s a Harbinger, not a lovesick fool! He ought to glare at you and storm off, demanding the two of you never speak again. But he won’t say that because he doesn’t want to hurt you. Because he cares for you. Because he loves you.

You feel the same, right?

No, that’s not right. This is the love he’s been wallowing in since he first got acquainted with you. It’s strange when he remembers every event that has led up to the blossoming feelings that reside deep in the epicenter of his heart, but it’s even more strange that he can’t find the courage to voice his own opinion.

“We wouldn’t mix,” he reaffirms your statement with a cold tone. There is no warmth in his eyes. “After all, your taste in tea is as bad as your taste in partners.”

And even though he wishes you could see through his walls—just this once he’ll allow you to tear them down for the sake of a half-baked confession—you just sit there and grin, no longer teary-eyed and forlorn. How odd. His heart feels far heavier than it’s ever been before. And you’re already scanning your surroundings, hungry for a love that will never keep you sated. Perhaps you weren’t even sad in the first place.

Upon realizing this, Scaramouche wants nothing more than to disappear into the wood like a feeble worm and never come back out.

You Must Break Another.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact scenario #genshin impact xiao #xiao x reader #xiao scenario #xiao #genshin impact scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche scenario #scaramouche

[haechanhues]

Like Unrequited

Part ONE | Part TWO | Part THREE | Part FOUR

pairing : heeseung x fem!reader / sunghoon x fem!reader 

genre : angst/fluff. bulleted. 

warnings : unrequited crush. slight feelings of awkwardness and abandonment. ambiguous relationship though - especially towards the end. 

summary : how to confess to someone who doesn’t feel the same. 

‘I like you, Heeseung’ 

All you could see was his eyes 

How they enlarged at the words you just spluttered 

He hesitated 

And at that the world seemed to rush down your throat and rob you of the air in your lungs 

Uh. 

But still the hope in your stomach flickered like a small fire 

A small pathetic little fire 

‘I-I….I don’t see you in that way Y/N...I’m sorry.’ 

Heeseung didn’t smile as he said that 

But he squeezed at your shoulder to anchor you down to the reality of it all 

You liked Heeseung 

And he didn’t like you back 

All those teenage movies you watched in an attempt to motivate you seemed to laugh at you

All those beautiful actresses and all those beautiful actors planting the seed of false hope in the victims of love unrequited 

‘That’s okay?’ 

You smiled. 

I’m sure you’ve never seen yourself wear the most bullshit smile you’ve ever bullshitted 

Heeseung smacked his lips together and warmly smiled at you 

‘I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?’

Uh. 

‘..Maybe. I might just, uh- hang out in the library for a while.’ 

He grimaced at that

He didn’t want to make you feel as if you weren’t friends 

He didn’t want to say ‘friends tho, right?’ as some sort of compensation for your feelings he didn’t share 

He felt for you 

He loved you (in a way that was only platonic) 

And yet- 

‘Okay.’ 

The next day Heeseung had waved at you whilst flanked by the other boys and Ryujin at his side 

Jungwon hugged you and asked if you were coming to lunch 

‘Nope,’ 

‘BOOO,’  Niki shouted in Sunoo’s ear 

‘What about tomorrow then? I’ve still got that post I want you to see in person’ Jay whined. 

‘I dunno I’ll let you know though.’ 

Ryujin squeezed your hand as she followed you down the hallway away from the boys 

‘How was it?’ Ryujin bit her lip with her sympathetic eyes 

You shook your head 

‘Imma need time. I think.’ 

‘Okay. Don’t be a stranger.’ 

Ryujin smiled and hugged you tightly, ‘It’s just one guy, my buddy.’ 

‘A guy I just happen to like and who’s kind and who I used to gush about for hours on end and-’ 

‘I was trying to lighten the mood, but my bad,’ Ryujin chuckled a little before letting you go 

‘Mhmm’ 

With a final goodbye you dawdled to the library with your assignments and errands listed in your head for you to do 

You took a seat and dug through your bag for your books and pencil case filled with pens and highlighters and got to working 

You spent what felt like hours in the library, filling in gaps and writing down notes that you’ve been holding off for what felt like weeks 

You sighed as you flicked out your wrist in an attempt to dissipate your pen cramp 

That’s when the antics of two boys called your attention 

They whispered heatedly between the two of them as they fussed over their written notes and their bags 

‘Out of all days, you’re cramming now?’ 

‘I didn’t know it was due today and you didn’t either!’ 

‘You don’t even have a pen-’ 

You giggled to yourself and that had the boys look over to you sheepishly

‘Hey,’ 

‘Can I borrow a pen?’ 

You grinned and nodded, pulling out a pen of your pencil case 

‘Oh my god. Why aren’t you this helpful?’ 

‘Fuck you.’ 

After awhile as they had written down all their points and you had gone back to your work, giggling a little at their quips 

‘Here’s your pen. Thanks, really.’ 

‘No worries...what test is it for?’ 

‘This science research test. I’m not prepared for it, obviously. But Jake is.’ 

Sunghoon had explained, cocking his head toward Jake 

Jake giggled in reply 

‘In that case, you may as well keep the pen.’ 

Sunghoon grinned 

‘Thank you. Do you want the pen back?’ 

‘I’m not sure about today.. but that could change.’ 

Meanwhile in the background, Jake smirked at your little exchange, preparing to tell all his and Sunghoon’s friends about his little conversation with a pretty girl in the library

The next few days were spent with Sunghoon and Jake

They had an assignment due that next Wednesday 

You had your errands 

But as the hours and the days flew by, the time spent actually working on your studies depleted and they were spent getting to know each other 

They both gave your their number and you gave yours 

You started making plans for after school and weekends 

Ryujin wanted you to come to a party with her on Saturday (the boys were going to be there too and Sunoo was missing you) 

But you had plans (with Sunghoon) 

You started missing phone calls from your friends because you were busy spending time with Sunghoon. 

You told Sunghoon and Jake all about your attempt at confessing and that had set Jake off on a tangent about how stupid the guy was and Sunghoon had opted to hold your hand

Your library hangouts had turned into ‘hangouts’ and extended outside of the library 

And one day you were with Sunghoon and Jake on the lunch table, smiling at their antics and their whatever-the-fuck-they-were-doing 

‘Y/N!’ 

You turned towards the voice, Sunghoon and Jake following you too 

Sunoo reached towards you and hugged you 

‘Feel like I never see you, like ever.’

‘I miss you.’ 

‘Me too,’ You smile. 

You looked over at Heeseung and your smile failed a little bit at the way he held a girl’s hand in his 

‘Hey,’ He smiled, feeling a little awkward at the revelation of his new girlfriend/friend/fling? 

Truthfully he didn’t know who she was 

But he wanted to find out 

He was also confused at the new friends of yours

Jungwon walked over to you, looking at Sunghoon confusedly, ‘I didn’t know you knew Y/N.’ 

‘Surprise’ 

Sunghoon watched as you struggled to gain the confidence to introduce them to your other friends 

He reached over and grabbed your hand in his, offering a small smile ‘I’m Sunghoon’ 

‘Jake’ 

‘I haven’t seen you in awhile my girl,’ Ryujin said, toe tapping your ankle

‘Sorry, I’ve been with these two this whole time. Super busy.’ 

Everyone frowns at your short sentence and your sudden uncomfortableness with the whole group in front of you, your easygoingness replaced with something that felt foreign to them

That didn’t really change throughout the week 

The only one that really got the same response from you was Sunoo and even that was tampered with 

You smiled in front of Sunghoon and Jake like you’re usual 

Jungwon, Heeseung, Niki, Jay and Ryujin could only look on as you seemed to distance yourself from them all 

Jay still had that one post he had to show you but when he had shown it too 

You had pursed your lips in reply and looked at Jake with a secretive smile that you used to use with him 

But you smiled at Jay and hugged him goodbye 

They weren’t happy (meaning Heeseung and pals) 

You did miss your friends 

But- 

You were happy with Sunghoon and Jake. 

Very happy. 

Heeseung sighed at the way you branched off with your new friends, leaving him and Ryujin in the dust 

‘Okay, I can’t fucking do this anymore,’ 

Ryujin swore and turned towards him

‘You need to fucking say something. Because I’m sick and tired of being ignored by my best fucking friend in exchange for two boys. Two hot boys, but still boys nonetheless.’ 

Heeseung sighed at that 

He did, didn’t he

So with a bated breath, he approached you when you were alone 

No Sunghoon or Jake 

Just you 

He loomed over you as he attempted to find the words to say 

‘Hey’ 

‘Hey’ 

How are you?’ 

‘Good. You?’ 

‘I’m good.’ 

You nodded and looked over his shoulder in an attempt to find your friends 

‘Y/N. Listen.’ 

Heeseung pleaded and he looked so desperate you couldn’t help but stare at him 

‘I like you as my friend so please just keep being my friend.’ 

‘I am. I am, I just want space and I want time to be able to treat you like a pal and not the guy I like, Heeseung.’ 

‘That doesn’t explain why you’re ignoring the whole group.’ 

‘I’m not.’ 

‘You are! Sunoo misses you like fucking crazy and you are actually separated from Ryujin. That doesn’t feel normal.’ 

‘But I like being around the boys,’ 

‘SO LET THEM JOIN US. You don’t even have to look at me or speak to me, if you’re going to be my friend, please for the love of everything cheesy, we’re your friends too. Jay has even started sulking and you know he doesn’t hold grudges.’ 

You sighed

‘You’re right.’ 

‘I’m always right.’ 

‘I’ll let Sunghoon and Jake know then.’

‘Yes. Do that.’

So that lunch time, after attempting to persuade Jake who was more than happy to greet friends of yours and Sunghoon who was unhappy with Heeseung still 

Sunghoon looked at you softly and then looked at Heeseung in a way that wasn’t the most friendly 

‘Hey guys. This is Sunghoon and Jake.’ 

Jake waved and Sunghoon nodded, linking his fingers with yours 

You turned towards him with a small smile 

‘Uhhh- I was hoping we could all-join?’ 

They all couldn’t have been faster to nod or make room for you, welcoming you back with open arms and eager hearts. 

author’s note : fun fact but it’s not really over. 

#enhypenwriters #enhypen fic #enhypen bullet au #enhypen sunghoon fic #enhypen heeseung fic #enhypen sunghoon bullet au #enhypen heeseung bullet au #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen heeseung scenarios #enhypen sunghoon imagines #enhypen x reader scenarios #enhypen x reader fic #enhypen x reader imagines #enhypen x reader bullet au

[onionsaremeansstuff]

You should have begged me to stay

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Gender: Angst & Fluff

Summary: Jensen is never home and you can’t stand this anymore 

I dont own the character or the gif

Beta’d by @chaoticgaysstuff​

Your relationship with your husband, Jensen was something. 

You two have known each other since you were kids. He was pretty much your best friend. You two played together when you were kids and knew that you two would be close forever.  

When you were 9 years old, you declared each other as boyfriends without really knowing what that meant because you both were two innocent children. 

But as it turns out, you both were still boyfriends now that you weren't the innocent child you used to be. 

As years passed, you both loved each other more than you did before. Hugs that you both gave each other when you were children turned into a pretty heated make out session that was behind closed doors. 

When Jensen first told you how he wanted to become an actor, you supported him like you always did. 

"I will never abandon you." Was what you had told him that night. 

If only you knew everything that would happen with him becoming a world famous actor. 

Hollywood wasn't the most acceptable place for LGBTQ people, so you both kept your relationship a secret, but there comes a price to pay when hiding something sometimes. 

With each passing year, Jensen almost always became unavailable to you. You barely spent any time with him anymore. 

Hell, you two only spent a minimum of two months together last year. 

You were very frustrated, especially with that woman being Jensen's beard. 

Now, you didn't have anything against her. You actually liked her, but she took a lot of time that you and Jensen were supposed to be spending together by pretending they were in a relationship. 

And honestly, sometimes you felt that you weren't Jensen's true love. 

---

Jensen would be back today from a trip and you were really excited. It has been so long since you've seen him. You couldn't wait to throw yourself in his huge arms along with having a night where you could talk about everything and nothing. Just like old times. 

And as hours passed, Jensen still hasn't come home yet. 

You've been sending him messages, but they were just left on delivered. He hasn't opened any of them and you were starting to get worried. 

Was his flight delayed? Or did something come up? Was there an  accident?

You paced back and forth, your mind consumed with worry. 

---

When 3 AM came, the front door to the house opened and Jensen entered. You stood up from your spot on the couch, feeling fully awake and ran over to him. As you got closer to him, you immediately knew what he was doing. 

Jensen stunk of alcohol and you noticed a purple mark on his neck. 

What happened to you?" You asked, feigning Innocence. 

"N- Nothing. I was at Jared's place and he had a party." He spoke, voice slightly slurred and you could tell that he was drunk. 

"You know, a phone call or text message wouldn't kill you." You said and he snorted, walking straight to y'all room, completely ignoring you. 

Jensen threw himself on the bed, falling asleep immediately before you could talk to him. 

You sighed and went to sleep in the guest room. The smell of alcohol was essentially too much and you couldn't sleep next to him. 

---

The next morning you prepared  breakfast for you and your husband. 

Although you were still a little hurt because of last night, you knew that it was because Jensen was drunk. So, you decided to make breakfast for him and actually talk to him. 

When breakfast was ready, you went to wake him up as you grabbed some medicine for his hangover. 

But, looks like he wouldn't need it after all, seeing how he wasn't in the room. 

You searched every part of the house but there was no sign of him at all. You took out your phone to call him when a message popped up on his phone. 

“D and I are going to breakfast and then will be spending time in the mountains.  I'll be back next week.” ~Jensen. 

As you read over that message, you let out a humorless laugh. 

You barely spend any time with your husband and when he finally comes home, he decides to spend time with her. You cook nice and he's not here to even eat it. 

And apparently he gave her a nickname, too. 

You loved Jensen from the bottom of your heart, but you couldn't take this anymore. You couldn't take being the only one putting in any effort into this relationship, or if it could even be called that. You couldn't take being the one to text him first only to not receive a response. Couldn't stand being the person who waited for him to come home, only to never really come home. 

You've had enough. 

---

Jensen had texted you that he was coming home in an hour. 

Your bags were packed with all of your clothes and stuff, and placed into your suitcase. 

"This is for your own good, Y/N." You told yourself once again. 

You glanced around your house one more time. So many memories have been here. Happy memories of you and him. They seem like distant memories now. 

The door to the house opened and for the first time, you didn't meet him at the door like you'd usually do. 

Jensen was surprised by this, having expected it. He walked over to you. 

You didn't have the courage to end like this. Maybe he'll wake up and see what he has been putting you through. 

"Hey, I'm gonna go to sleep. In a few hours I'm going to Vancouver." 

You looked at him and managed to mask the hurt and anger that made it's way onto your face. Looks like he still hasn't realized. 

You shook your head, "No your not. We're going to talk right now." 

"Look Y/N I'm tired and-" 

"You always seem to be tired when you're with me, right?" You interrupted him, standing up and looking at him in the eyes, "Always tired and can never have time with me. Can never stay with me." 

Jensen looked at you confused, "What, Y/N? What are you talking about?" 

"I'm talking about our relationship being one huge joke, Jensen." You stated. 

"What do you mean by that?" He asked, not understanding what you are trying to say. 

"You're never at home, Jensen! I always have to be the one to try and make our relationship work and you seem to be looking for an excuse to get away from me. Hell, last year we barely spent two months together!" You snapped. 

Jensen laughed sarcastically before looking at you angrily, "Well, I'm sorry that I have to work. I forgot how selfish you could be. I need time to myself. It's not easy working my ass off to give this life. This rich life." He growled. 

"Oh, well I'm sorry that wanting to spend time with my husband is selfish. And do you really think I care about being rich? I loved you since you had to ask money to buy candy. I never cared about money. I always wanted you and you clearly can't see how unhappy I've been." 

The eyes that once looked at you with love now looked at you with hatred.

Jensen didn't answer for a second, thinking as he looked down at the ground before snorting and looking at you, "If you are so unhappy then why don't you just leave." 

You looked at him with sadness in your eyes. 

That was it. 

Jensen no longer cared about your relationship and he didn't even fight for you. Or even try to make things better between you both. He just gave up. 

Just like that. 

And you felt your heart break. 

"If this is what you want. I'll leave." You stated, trying your best not to cry in front of him. 

You left the room and went to get your bag and from the bedroom, you heard the sound of Jensen's car engine taking off down the road. 

You sighed as you looked around this room looking one last time. 

'Do it for your own good Y/N.' You thought as you walked out of the house. 

---

Seven months have passed since your break up with Jensen and you hadn't been doing well. 

Jensen was someone who was always there for you since you were a kid. Not talking to him was a completely strange and new sensation to you. 

You couldn't help but think about him. 

When you saw something funny or when you had a nightmare you would always call Jensen. 

Sometimes, you'd have your phone in your hand with his contact information, ready to call him. 

'Would he answer me?' You asked yourself. 

You shook your head, "He doesn't care about you. Move on." You muttered. 

Both of your lives went on without one another. 

"You will survive Y/N." You told yourself, "You got this man."

---

You were sitting in the cafe that was across the street from your job. The place was pretty empty and you sat there in a booth with a cup of coffee, enjoying the peaceful silence.  

The place was in complete silence, except for a small TV near your table which was playing something. 

You weren't paying attention to it until you heard the name Jensen Ackles coming on the TV. 

 "The actor, Jensen ackles who is best known for his role as Dean Winchester on the TV show supernatural, posted a video saying that he and Danneel Harris have been in a fake relationship for years." 

Your eyes widened, staring at the TV as you sipped on your coffee.

"Well, there is no reason for him to keep her as his beard anymore. He must have found someone he really loves now." You sighed in exasperation. 

"The actor also stated that this fake relationship has cost him a lot,  especially the relationship with the love of his life." The anchor said but you didn't care.

---

You arrived at your old house after a long and exhausting day of work. 

After your parents died, you refused to sell your old house. Jensen always said  that it didn't make sense since you lived with him. Nowadays, you are grateful for not selling it. 

You threw yourself on the couch and fell asleep quickly.

---

You were woken up later by a knock on the door. 

"Who the fuck could be at the door this late at night?" You pondered, getting up off the couch and walking over to the door. 

You opened the door, not fully awake and your eyes only half open, "What?" 

"Can I talk to you, Y/N?" The sound of Jensen's voice made your eyes open, feeling fully awake at the moment. 

Jensen stood in front of the door, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. 

You stared at him before slamming the door in his face.

"Y/N, please open the door!" Jensen pleaded and you didn't respond, "I'll climb into your window, or break your door down and you know I can." He threatened and you sighed, opening the door for him. 

Jensen was wearing Dean Winchester's classic smile as he held the flowers out to you. 

"A beautiful thing for a beautiful thing."  You looked at the flowers before looking at him again as you gave him a look that said, 'Just get on with it already.'

"Teenage you would have loved the fact that I gave you flowers." Jensen said as you took the flowers out of his hand. He walked over to sit on the couch. 

"Teenage me believed you cared about me." You spoke up, and placed the flowers on the counter and walked over to him. You stood with your arms crossed as you waited for him to speak. 

Jensen opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. 

If you don't tell me what you came here to tell me, I'll call the cops." You said seriously. 

"I'm sorry." Jensen spoke quickly and you waited for him to continue. 

An awkward silence took over for a few seconds before Jensen coughed. 

"If that's all you have to say, then you can get out of here." You exclaimed, turning away from him. 

"Y/N I'm an idiot, okay?"

You nodded, "Yeah, you are." 

"And I regret what happened that day. I should have asked you to say instead of telling you to leave." 

"You should've but didn't. Close the door on the way out, will ya?" 

"Y/N I-"

"Look Jensen, I don't know what game you are playing, or if your just desperate for sex. Or if the person you were staying with dumped you, but I will not continue to give my all to someone that isn't given back. You can leave." 

"I'm not dating anyone Y/N, and I'm not here for sex." Jensen sighed, "I'm a complete idiot. I was so used to you being there that I was never aware of how much I needed you. "Jensen looked down at the ground as he spoke. 

"Ever since you've been gone, I missed you like crazy and all I wanted was to hear the sound of your voice. I missed having you by my side." 

"When we were together, you never slept at home and didn't even bother to call me, so stop bullshitting me." You shouted, feeling fed up with this crap. 

"And I deeply regret everything that has happened. I was frustrated because I never had time for you anymore and I pushed you away. Not the smartest decision, I know and when you brought it up, I took my anger out on you, though I was angry with myself. When our relationship ended, I thought it was for the best, but i can't live without you!" He explained, tears falling from his eyes. 

He crouched down next to your feet, wrapping his arms around your leg and hugged it tightly. 

"I love you so much, Y/N. I'm such an idiot and you deserve better than me, but I love you so much. I've loved you ever since we were kids, and I promise that if you take me back, I'll drop everything for you. I'll quit acting, won't go to anymore conventions, all of it! I just want my man back." 

Your pants were really wet now because of the tears from Jensen. You knew now that he regretted his decision.

And deep down you knew that Jensen was the one for you. 

You ran your fingers through Jensen's hair which made him look up at you, sniffling a little. 

"You have another chance, but you better not fuck it up again." With that sentence, Jensen stood up and started planting kisses all over your face, "And you don't have to give up your career for me, Jen. You just need to make sure that we spend time with each other, okay?" 

He nodded, shedding a few happy tears. But they weren't sad tears. They were tears of Joy. 

---

~ 6 months later ~

"Hey Karen, can you please give these files to Jenny?" You asked, holding the files out to her as she took them and  nodded her head, "Thanks!" 

Y/N L/N!" Your co-worker, Lily called out, walking into your office as Karen walked out, giving you a hug, "Or should I call you Y/N Ackles now? Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!!" 

You looked at her confused and a little frightened. How did she find out? 

Seeing how confused you look, she showed you her phone and it was pictures that Jensen posted on his instagram. 

It was pictures of you and him. He posted 5 pictures of you guys together. 

The first phone was you and him as babies, playing in the sandbox together which was taken by your mother.

The second one was of you and him in high school. He had a wide smile on his face as he hugged. 

The third one was of you and him cooking together and smiling happily at the camera. 

The fourth one was of you and Jensen the day you got married. 

And the last one was of you lying on his chest. 

The caption said: Today, I would like to show the world my handsome husband and the love of my life, Y/N Ackles! I have known him since we were kids and always had a crush on him. He is the most amazing and lovable person in the world and he's very out of my league. Unfortunately, I fucked up our relationship many times, but he gave me another chance even though I didn't deserve it. I love you Y/N Ackles!! Thanks for always being with me! 

(Btw, I know he's hot, but he's mine!) 

You were shocked to see that he told the world about your relationship and tears started streaming down your face.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" Lily asked, as you gave her back her phone. You didn't answer her question. Instead, you ran to the men's room and took out your phone, calling Jensen.

He picked up the phone after 4 rings.

"Hey Y/N!"

"Jensen, what was that all about?" You questioned.

"Did you not like it?" He asked, worried that you didn't like what he had done.

"I loved it. I loved it alot and I love you, but are you sure you were ready to come out right now? You know how Hollywood is."

"Fuck Hollywood! If they don't want me anymore for loving another man then I don't care. I have you and that's more than enough for me."

You smiled at the words spoken from Jensen and the two of you talked for a little while longer like two teenagers.

Your relationship with Jensen was strange and difficult at times, but you wouldn't trade him for anyone else.

#Jensen Ackles x male reader #Jensen Ackles x reader #male reader #x male reader #Jensen Ackles x male!reader #dean winchester x male reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x male!reader #supernatural x male reader #supernatural x reader

[baku-writes]

Izuku x reader x Bakugou izuku loves reader and Uraraka and reader is tired of being his second choice and pulls herself out of the equation only to see Katsuki was the person for her and she explores that years later Deku tries to ask her out since Uraraka left him and Katsuki steps in telling him he can’t manipulate her or something like that thank youuu!!

Sure thing!!! Deku might be a lil out of character bc in reality he is such a soft bean but LESSGOOO.

Bakugou x fem!reader, deku x fem!reader, deku x ochako

TW: cheating, angst, a bit spicy at the end

Angst to fluff 🐜💞

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!!!💞💞💞

(I think the art was by @mkm_storage on twitter, but I can't completely remember, sorry )<33

He wants her

Summary: during your time at UA you always were second choice to Midoriya, you knew he 'loved' you but he also loved ochako. After a nasty break up bakugo becomes the man you always desired and the man to protect you. Even when izuku comes crawling back....

Deku was one of your first friends at UA, along with Bakugo. He was strong, smart and exceptionally kind. Plus, his motivation to become the number one was always something to be admired.

You saw yourself as average. Your quirk was good, but not enough to be the top of the class. You could pass all the tests, but you weren't the smartest in the class. Even when it come to athletics you could out perform some, but never beat the people at the top. People like midoriya, bakugo and todoroki were unreachable to you.

Suprisingly, you didn't last ot get you down. You worked hard and accomplished things due to it, your goal was to save people. Not make competition between classmates. So instead, you would attempt to help people out. Mainly deku.

That is how you two began dating, one day during a study session in his room he asked you out. And you obviously agreed. He was amazing and so kind.

But something was nagging you at the back of your mind...

Uraraka....

Don't get me wrong, she was lovely. She never hurt you and instead was always there for you. The two of you would hang out and go shopping together, even training together whilst spilling secrets and crushes. You knew she liked him and she knew you liked him too... it was a tricky situation but it would be stupid of you to deny his confession, right?

It was almost 2 years into your relationship, if you could even call it that. Nothing seemed to scream "boyfriend and girlfriend". No hugs, no kisses and no affection. To be honest, many people in your own class didn't know the two of you were even together.

But one if the few that did was Bakugo. He knew how you felt... he could see it written all over your face. You were unhappy and overall anxious about your relationship. Not that you would ever admit that.

He also knew about Uraraka... how you knew about the affection being given to her by YOUR boyfriend, how you tried to keep them distant due to the fear of being replaced. How they kept you distant, but still close enough to be hurt by everything...

----------------

*BAKUGO POV*

'Fucking disgusting' Bakugo thought, he sat in the back of the classroom.

He was 10 minutes early, but Kaminari wouldn't give him peace if he weren't in class. To his surprise Deku arrived early too, looking a little bit anxious and also... expectant?? Was he waiting for someone? It was pretty rare you would get to class early, you were known for sleeping in and arriving late by a couple of minutes...

A few second rolled around and then she entered. The 'best friend' who made you Deku's second choice, without you even fully realising it. But why were they alone.... usually you would be close by, standing in the corner and watching dead-eyed as you wait for your turn of affection. The turn that rarely came unless you threatened to leave.

As if he weren't there, the two started hugging talking and even blushing. Uraraka sat on Deku's desk and giggled at the slightest breath that would escape the nerds mouth. He didn't care about what they were speaking about. Until....

"You know Deku, we should hang out some time? Maybe have a coffee date." A small goggle escaped her mouth as her pink cheeks become more pronounced. Her legs swayed enthusiastically as Deku nodded without a word, his face crimson red and eyes wide.

Did he fucking forget he had a girlfriend? Or is he a scumbag?

Just as he was about to scream bloody murder at deku, he noticed you stood in the door way. Your demeanor uncharacteristically cold and threatening. The room felt heavy as deafening silence replaced the irritating giggles escaping Ochako's mouth....

*Y/N POV*

This was the final fucking straw...

You have been waiting outside your classroom for a minute now and all that can be heard is your 'best friends' giggling and your boyfriends flirtatious talking. You pelaed your head around the corner only to hear

"You know Deku, we should hang out some time? Maybe have a coffee date." And giggles escape the man stealing brunettes mouth.

And what made your blood run cold was his reaction. Fucking nodding. Blushing. Eyes wide. Obviously excited for the date.

You knew you were second choice. You always knew he would put hero work before you, studying before you. And even stronger girls before you. Ever since the two of you started dating that was a prominent factor in your relationship. But you still tried... so hard. You tried so hard to keep the love together, to grasp onto the memories you two had. To keep gluing the shattered pieces of your heart together each time he would push you aside for your own friend...

Sadness quickly turned to anger. You were pissed. Nearly 2 years of NOTHING. Everything was a waste, god why were you so naive. Thinking a boy so wound up in his fantasy would love you like you loved him. Thinking your best friend wouldn't go behind your back just to be with him. Thinking he would decline her even though it was obvious he liked her too.

Hah "too". Could you even say he ever liked you? Or did he pretend he liked you? Maybe he did like you.... but if he did why would he do this? If he didn't like you why would he waste your time?

You were angry and confused. And you have had enough.

That's when you were noticed by bakugo, uraraka and deku. You didn't care if your other close friend Bakugo was there, you could tell by the look on his face that he was going to lose his shit and scream at them. But this was your relationship. You were going to make all hell go lose. And you don't care if others see it. The more humiliating, the better. Just like he humiliated you.

"A date, huh?" Yous started off, calmly. This brought surprise to everyone in the room, you were talking almost as if it was girl gossip and talking about crushes. Like it was an activity you were excited to hear about.

But when you didn't get a response.... your face turned sour.

"Really a fucking date? You seem to be forgetting that I am your girlfriend" you time raised as you walked over to the two traitors. "You know what, fuck that thought. I was your girlfriend. But Hah, NOT ANYMORE!"

"You really think I didn't have the slightest idea what was going on? You think that I am thick enough to think you two would leave each other alone, huh? To not keep my eyes on you? You two are both scumbags. Ones a friend who has knew about my crush on you months before she admitted hers to anyone, and my EX-boyfriend who thought I wouldn't know about being the sidechick. "

Bakugo stared in amazement. He has never seen you so confident before, especially if you've just been hurt.

You took a breather.

"We're done, I refuse to be your second option Midoriya. I've wasted so much time on your ass, and I regret every second of it."

"Y/N wait, please. Clam down, it's alla misunderstanding. I love you both, I just need time to figu-"

"SHUT YOUR TRAP NERD!" Bakugo snapped, ramming his chair backs and standing up, his hands shoved in his pockets as he walked over to you. "She's wasted two years on your ungrateful ass, enjoy your little date shitty nerd."

"Y/N... I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was doi-" tears welled up in ochako eyes....

Guilt tripping, really? Could she not even face her own consequences without crying about it?

"Can it Uraraka. We are done too, I don't want to be friends with a man stealer."

And with that you and Bakugo left the room, leaving the two traitors to their own devices. Hoping they enjoy their little 'date'.

Little did you know, yours and Bakugos friendship would kindle onto something warmer, larger and more loving. After 6 months of being single, he confessed to you and promised to be there for you and never leave your side.

And he stuck with that promise. He never replaced you. He never made you a side chick. He did show affection to you (mostly in privacy where he could be open, but it was still more than Midoriya would ever show).

He made you feel loved, he even studied with you and bumped your grades from B's to A's. And that isn't even brushing on the fact that he made your quirky stronger. Ofcourse the two of you had some issues, like every couple, however he would apologise (it takes him a while, but he actually does apologise) and give you positive affirmations of being enough.

You loved him.

--------------------------------

*TIME SKIP!!!! PRO HERO GALA. Deku isnumber 1 hero, bakugo is number 2 hero and you are number 7 hero!!*

It was a beautiful night, you and bakugo had both moved up a rank. Placing him in the second rank and you in the 7th rank. It was a night to be celebrated, and a night for the two if you to celebrate your anniversary. The two of you had been dating for 5 years now (you were both 22) and still going strong.

Both of you looked amazing; your H/C hair perfectly styled, a small amount of makeup precisely placed onto your face and your crimson dress flowed elegantly down your body.

And let's just say Katsuki was looking fine as hell too; his suit fit tightly against his muscles, rippling and stretching with each moves. He wore a crimson tie, the same colour as your dress, which can unusual for Katsuki due to his odd undying hatred for ties.

His hair was also neatly trimmed into an undercut, a faint scar running along his scar due to a previous villain attack. But some things never change, like the scowl that adorned his face.

The dancing had just finished and pro-heros gathered in groups to chat amongst themselves. However, you had a different thought in mind.

You hadn't eaten all day, the only thing in your digestive system was half a slice of toast that you managed to eat for breakfast. But the food placed along the tables on the far side of the hall looked mouth wateringly good.

"Katsuki, I'm going to go get a bite to eat, okay?"you murmered, planting a soft kiss on his cheek before scurrying over the the food.

You turned around, painting the nicest smile you could muster. The sight of his face boiled your blood as memories of your neglectful relationship crossed your mind.

You began placing the food on your small styrofoam plate until you heard a small familiar voice behind you-

"Hey Y/N, long time no see." Fuck it was Midoriya. A small nervous giggle escaped his lips as he rubbed the back of his neck.

His face still boiled your blood as you remembered the time you wasted in the neglectful relationship. His false act of kindness made your stomach twist in violent anger.

That was until you realised he was alone. Uraraka was no where in sight, you don't even think she turned up to the pro-hero gala. It was probably down to her most recent embarrassment, being caught cheating again on the number one hero with her most recent sidekick.

"Yeah. I see you're the number 1 hero now. You finally got there in the end."

Keep your cool y/n. You have Katsuki now, Deku can't do shit to you anymore.

"Yep, it took a lot. And Kacchan in the number 2 now, huh? That's great!"

The two of you paused. The tension in the air was thick, you could probably cut it with a knife.

"Hey, uhhh, Y/N. I'm really sorry about what happened between the two of us," he hung his head down and stuffed his hands in his pockets, his voice low. " I was wondering if we could start over, maybe get back in touch, ya know? We could start again, get back together. I've reached my goal now, nothings stopping us."

His headshot back up as he looked into your eyes. Your face morphed into one of shock. Did this asshole really just ask if you two could start fresh?

"I know we ended on bad terms Y/N, and I know you are with kacchan right now but I really miss you. I can do so much better for you, I have more money. More land. A higher ranking. I could even boost your ranks."

He paused and you placed the plate of food onto the table, getting ready to possibly smack this bitch.

"I know what Kacchan is like, he is toxic and you don't look happy. Do you not miss me? Remember the time we went on a picnic and you couldn't stop laughing? He can't give that to you. Kacchan can't give anything to yo-"

A firm hand grasped his shoulder and tugged Midoriya far enough back so they could be face to face.

"K-kacchan."

"The fuck are you doing near my girlfriend, Deku?"

A low growl rumbled from Katsuki's throat as he stared down into Midoriya's eyes, his grip tightening.

"I asked a question moron, answer it. "

"I, uhhh. I was g-getting to know them a bit more." Midoriya glanced over to you, as if asking for help, but instead you crossed your arms and shook your head.

"He was trying to get back with me Katsuki, and decided to trash talk you along the way."

The audible gulp that left Midoriya's throat made a low chuckle rumble from within Katsuki.

"I'm going to give you 5 seconds to piss off outta 'ere before I blast your ass. And speak to my girl again and there will be consequences." Katsuki let go of Midoriya (who was now visibly shaken). "Now get lost."

Deku scrambled away, his composure completely lost as some pro-heros starednin confusion, only to go back to talking within their little groups.

"You okay, princess?" Katsuki steadily walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and planting a kiss to your forehead.

"I'll be fine, it was just a surprise that's all." You sighed, letting out the shaky breath and relaxing your tense muscles.

"Let's go home, I'll give you a better night to remember."

A smirk made it's way onto your boyfriends lips as one hand squeezed your ass.

-------------------------------------

I am back from my break!! Sorry this took a while, I was dealing with my mental health but it's finally finished!! I hope it is what you wanted. 💞💞

#bakugou katsuki smut #bnha #bnha manga #mha #my hero academia imagines #bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha bakugou #boku no academia #boku no hero art #bakugo x reader smut #bakugo smut #bakugo x reader #bakugou #katsukibakugou #katsuki bakugo fanart #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader smut #bakugou x reader #bakugou smut #bakugo #bakugo katsuki smut #dynamight #deku midoriya #deku x reader #izuku midoria x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya headcanons #mha izuku

[alfredolover119]

I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story. 

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that. 

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee 

-18k, teen, major character death 

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN. 

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham. 

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN 

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

#zukka #zuko #sokka #angst #zukka angst #atla #avatar: the last airbender #fic recs #zukka fic recs

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

Stingy

Pairing: Ezekiel “EZ” Reyes x Black!OC

Summary: EZ has a problem sharing and his girl, Monique is quite over it.

Warning(s): Some angst with a fluff ending

Word count: 2,552

AN: Ahhhh my first EZ fic. Based on a request I received from the lovely @ly--canthrope with an assist coming from Ginuwine’s Stingy. Thank YOU so much for your patience and encouraging words. I hope you enjoy this xo

You can say I'm tripping but I'm stingy And I can't hide it Wanna keep you all to me I'm selfish, why try to fight it?

An abandoned episode of Girlfriends played on the tv in the background as a woman sat straddling EZ’s lap as the two made out. His hands were rubbing up and down her sides under her shirt and her hands were gripping his face. One of her favorite things to do was kiss her boyfriend. She loved that they could just get lost in each other and it was the perfect opener for the mindblowing sex that was coming.

The familiar ringtone and buzz from her phone’s vibration echoed against the coffee table as she received a text message. She pulled away from the kiss and turned her head, trying to see if she could read the message from her position. She felt EZ stiffen, his hands moving down her hips to grip her thigh.

“I swear to God, Monique.” EZ began, feeling himself become annoyed. He can’t even enjoy her company at home without being interrupted. He’s tried so hard to be understanding, but that selfish part of him was fed up. The opening of Galindo’s company really put into perspective how often he misses time with her.

As Miguel’s assistant she had a very big hand in putting the opening celebration together. She’d been Miguel’s assistant for a couple years now. Her mother was a close confidante to Dita before she passed away. Dita wanted to keep an eye on her so she asked Miguel to give her a job. She was fantastic at keeping things organized and she already knew about the other side of business. 

Working for Miguel was great because though some would hate being an assistant, he actually gave her a lot of responsibility. She was often put in charge of events while making sure everything in his life runs smoothly, at least on the legal side of things.She was so proud of her work tonight but she hardly had time to celebrate until she saw her man walking through the door.

She’d been with EZ, Ezekiel as she liked to call him because she loved his full name, for a little over a year. It was the best relationship she’d ever been in. He was kind, honest, caring, and oh so very fine.

She ended her current conversation before strutting over to Ezekiel, her arms immediately going around his neck. “Hi baby. I’m so happy you’re here.” She kissed his lips.

EZ loved seeing his girl in her element. She was very much out of his league in his mind and he felt lucky every day he woke up to her. “Hey beautiful.” He greeted her, hands resting on her lower back and pulling her close to him. “I see all your hard work has paid off.”

“It really has. Things couldn’t be going better. Especially now that you’re here.” She grinned at him.

“Oh yeah? You’re happy to see me?” He teased, smiling back so she kissed him again.

The two of them engaged in some conversation and heavy flirting before they were interrupted by her boss.

“Monique, I need you for a second…” Miguel announced, no time for pleasantries. He was always about his business. She could respect it but it was also annoying because he could have greeted Ezekiel

“Oh hi Miguel. We weren’t having a conversation or anything.” She sarcastically replied, giving her boss a look.

“Reyes..” Miguel acknowledged her boyfriend with a barely noticeable head nod before bringing his attention back to her. “You’ve put in the most face time with the Castillos and the lovely matriarch has requested your presence. We don’t want to keep them waiting, verdant?”

EZ rolled his eyes at Miguel but didn’t say anything. He was used to Miguel’s shit and honestly he didn’t like him either so the less they communicated the better.

The Castillos were a very important family that have entered into an arrangement with Galindo enterprises both on the legitimate and illegitimate side of business. It was already fragile so she wanted to keep everything on the up and up.

She retreated from EZ’s arms without a second thought. “Is everything alright? When we went over the final documents she didn’t bring anything up.” She began walking alongside Miguel but stopped in her tracks.

“I’ll be right back.” She walked back over to EZ and planted a distracted kiss on his cheek. 

He mustered up a slight smile and then she was gone. 

She didn’t come back until the end of the night.

She sighed, pushing her way out of his lap and snatching up her phone once she stood up. “He’s my boss, Ezekiel. You have got to let this thing with Miguel go. Enough is enough.”

“He just does this to piss me off.” And it worked. He wanted to have her all to himself, but he couldn’t do that with Galindo constantly texting her and having her work long hours. At this point it felt she was the one singlehandedly keeping his businesses afloat.

“So stop letting it piss you off.” She replied, like it was the easiest thing and to her it was. 

He shot up from his seat and exasperatedly asked, “Why do you always defend him?”

“Because you’re being ridiculous. You knew who I worked for when we started dating.” She was annoyed they were even having this argument. Her attention was focused on her phone as she replied to Miguel with the information he needed.

EZ grew even more irritated that even in an argument he couldn’t have her whole attention. “What could he possibly need from you at 2 in the morning? Hm?” He snatched the phone from her hand.

“Are you out of your mind? Give me my phone back!” She gasped, shocked at his audacity. She and Ezekiel had been together for awhile now and he’s never acted this way. He’s never lost his temper with her. “Things happen. Emergencies. I never say anything when you have an emergency with the MC.”

“Bishop doesn’t text all hours of the night. Bishop doesn’t hate you and try to disrespect our relationship at every turn. And quite frankly, Bishop isn’t a woman so it’s not the same at all.” Ez snapped, his voice getting louder.

“And just what the fuck are you implying, EZ?” There was a clear warning in her tone of voice as she matched his volume. Now they both were yelling at each other. She never called him EZ either. Always preferring to call him Ezekiel.

He knew he should have backed down and cooled off but he was beyond tired of this shit. The angry words slipped outta his mouth before he could stop them. “I’m just wondering what all the late nights are really about. If I’m dating Miguel’s side piece just tell me!”

That was a mistake. Yelling was a mistake. Saying those words was a mistake. He knew it the moment he saw tears form in her eyes. 

“Excuse me?” She whispered, voice slightly cracking. How dare he call her a cheater! He officially has lost his mind.

Ezekiel felt his heart drop into his stomach when he heard the hurt in her voice. It went too far. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry, mariposa.” He started to walk closer to her, but she stepped back from him.

“This has nothing to do with me. Or us. This is you and Miguel continuing to have a dick measuring contest. Th-this all goes back to Emily.” The name rolled off her tongue with mild resentment. The two never had a bad run in with each other, but all the stories about Emily and EZ’s past relationship and how she was the love of his life always made Monique get defensive.

“That’s not true.” EZ refuted, but she interrupted him before he could further explain.

“Yes it is!  And if somehow it’s not then we got some serious problems baby.” She just shook her head at him before demanding, “Get out.” 

You're the only one, you're the only love That's strong enough to claim me So please forgive me I'm just stingy But how can you blame me?

It’s been two weeks since the fight with Ezekiel and Monique was really missing him. She was mad that he would be such a dumbass, but she still just wanted to be laying back on the couch with him watching tv.

Miguel watched as she pushed her salad around her plate, clearly not hungry. “Todo bien hermanita?” He asked, watching as she finally brought her eyes up to meet his. This was the quietest lunch the two ever had. Usually she was talking a mile a minute.

She smiled a little at the nickname. He only called her that when he was concerned or when he really wanted something. Truth is, the two had a sibling kind of relationship. She just wished EZ had seen and understood it. “I’m fine. Not really hungry.”

“Hmm.” He hummed, taking a sip of his drink. “Nestor and I had a meeting with the Mayans yesterday. Saw your novio and he looked like shit.” Miguel casually mentions and she tries to act nonchalant even as her heart races at the mention of a certain biker. “Imagine my surprise when he asked to pull me aside for a chat.”

“What!” She gasped loudly, jaw dropping.

“I’m sure you could guess what we spoke about.”

“Miguel…” She was ready to apologize to him for whatever accusations were thrown his way.

“I know I’m very demanding. It’s part of who I am. I demand a lot from myself and from those around me, especially those closest to me. That includes you, hermanita. But I don’t want to be the reason for your unhappiness. Even if it is with Reyes..” There was only mild disgust in his tone and she took that as an improvement.

“It’s not your fault he doesn’t trust me, hermano.” She sighed.

“He is crazy about you, you know that right?”

Monique went to answer, but Miguel stood up from his seat. He grabbed his suit jacket from the back of the chair and walked over to her, pushing down gently on her shoulders to keep her from getting up. He leans down and whispers “If in the end, you don’t want him and he won’t take the hint you let me know. He can visit my pew.” 

She jerked her head back to give him a stern look, hating when he brought up that damn pew. He just kissed her head and walked away. She sat there dumbfounded for a second. “Wait, what-” She turned her head to call out to Miguel but her voice caught in her throat as she spotted Ezekiel right behind her. He walked over and took the seat Miguel was just in.

It was silent before she decided to break it. “You and Miguel working together? Hell must have frozen over.”

He cracks a grin at that. “Ha. Guess you could say we’ve called a truce. At least when it comes to a certain beautiful woman.”

“Calling a truce with my ‘side piece’? I’m sure Emily appreciates it.” She sarcastically replied, making him sigh in reply. 

“I never should have said that. I was pissed off and being a sarcastic asshole. This never had anything to do with Emily. Yes we have history, but I don’t think about that anymore. I haven’t for a long time.” Monique looked down, wanting to believe him but having a hard time doing it. “I think about you. I think about you when we’re apart, I think about when I’ll see you again, I think about our future when you’re in my arms. You’re never not on my mind.”

His words make her want to smile, but she wasn’t done. “Then what’s been going on with us lately? Anytime I answer a call or text from Miguel you’re huffing and puffing. You sit there literally pouting like a 3 year old every time I have to do something for work. What’s the problem?”

“First, I don’t pout.” She started to disagree but he loudly continued, earning a playful glare from her. “SECONDLY, I know you’re an independent woman out here making it on your own and shit. I know it’s just been you and your job for a long time. But now you got me, mariposa. I’m here by your side and I like spending time with you. I like the quiet moments at home and our nights out. I want more of them. You work so much and you forget about everything else. Me included.”

“What do you mean I forget you? I don’t forget you.”

“Galindo Enterprises.”

“What are...Oh-” Her face completely dropped as she remembered the night. She got pulled away by Miguel and never went back to Ezekiel. She didn’t mean to, but she ended up checking on other things with the party and even though it hurts to admit she did forget about him. “Oh baby…” She held one of his hands that was on the table between both of hers.

“I’ve never been the one to cling and I don’t like to be needy but you’ve changed me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I love being in your presence. Maybe I am kind of a baby, but I think wanting your attention is a good sign for a relationship. I’m not asking you to quit your job, but some boundaries would be nice. ”

She felt so bad. He was absolutely right. She had been alone for a long time. She wasn’t used to sharing her life with someone else. An adjustment was obviously needed. “I never meant to make you feel like I wanted anyone or anything more than you. Or that I cared about those things more. I promise that I will work on communicating more with you and not just doing what I want with no consideration for you.” 

He nodded his head, but she had to add one more thing. “You do need to know that sometimes just like you can’t help getting called away the same goes for me. But I’ll talk with Miguel and we’ll work out something that works for us all. I can’t believe I didn’t realize. I’m so-”

Ezekiel cut her off before she could begin criticizing herself. “So amazing, captivating, elevating,” after every word, EZ placed a kiss on the palm of her hand. “Anyway you put it I’m happy to be your man.”

“I’m still salty at you insinuating I was sleeping with Miguel.” She declared, causing him to nod with a sad look on his face.

“How can I make it up to you, mariposa?”

“Hmm…” She pretended to think when she already knew what she wanted. She leaned forward and beckoned him closer with a wiggle of her finger. She whispered in his ear, “I wanna ride you with only your kutte on until you lose your mind.” She lightly bit his ear lobe.

She busted out laughing at how fast he scrambled out of his seat and took her hand, pulling her behind him as he hustled out of the restaurant.

#ez reyes #black!reader #black!oc #ezekiel reyes #hhgbyebruh fics #ez reyes x black!reader #stingy

[sierraraeck]

Happier

Spencer x Fem!Reader

Spencer x Luke

Masterlist

Summary: Things have been slowly declining in you and Spencer’s relationship. Going out to a bar alone one night, you figure out why.

Category: Angst.

Warnings: Brief mention of alcohol

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: This was inspired by the song “Happier” by Marshmellow and Bastille. If you wanna give that a quick listen, go for it, if not, that’s chill too.

In the cold light of day we’re a flame in the wind

Not the fire that we’ve begun

But we ran our course, we pretended we’re okay

‘Cause with all that has happened

I think that we both know the way that this story ends

You met Spencer at a bookstore. He was a regular, but it was the first time you actually interacted. He was carrying enough books to nearly block his vision, and when he no-so-gracefully plopped them down at the register in front of you, the whole pile came toppling down. You watched in amusement as he collected three of the books from the floor and placed them back down on the desk, now ready to check out.

“You know, we provide baskets at the front for this reason,” you smirked.

He barely glanced up at you, and shyly said, “Do you know how many germs are on those things?”

You laughed, “I’m not sure I’d like to know.”

He quickly raised his eyebrows at you. “I wish I didn’t.”

You checked out the rest of his books in silence, then wished him a good day on his way out.

The next week, he was back in, and grabbed the same outrageous amount of books, dropping them on his way to you.

“Back so soon?” you questioned, remembering who he was quite well.

“I needed some new reading material,” he shrugged. You cocked an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“The last thirteen books weren’t enough?”

“I finished them,” he nonchalantly stated.

“You’re kidding.” He shook his head. “Jeez. Is the only thing you do read all day?”

“No,” he innocently responded, “I only need a few minutes to read each. I’m actually an FBI agent.”

You stared at him blankly. That was not what you expected. “Wait, what? You’re an FBI agent, and you can read hundreds of pages in only minutes?”

He nodded as if there was nothing impressive about either of those. You were still shocked and mumbled, “Okay, wow.”

The third time he came in, you noticed that he was waiting until your register was free, so that you specifically could check him out. You had a bit more small talk, this time about some of the books he’d read. The fourth time he came in, you left some disinfectant wipes by the baskets, knowing that he really should use one, and wanted the germaphobe in him to feel comfortable taking one. He looked over at you and you smiled at him while he wiped down one of the baskets to use. It was that time while you were checking him out that he asked you on a date. You, of course, said yes. You wanted to know more about this mysterious, handsome man that worked for the FBI and could read an insane amount of books in only a short period of time.

Things were great at the beginning. You got to know each other, and the more you found out about him, the more and more you liked him. The two of you started spending almost all of your free time together, and you were considering asking about moving in together.

That is, until he started pulling away.

You weren’t sure what had gone wrong. Things were great, and then it seemed like one day he went to work interested in you and came home distant. Like his mind was elsewhere. You tried to ask him about it, but he deflected every time. He used to never like going out with his team, but he slowly started spending more time with them, and less time with you. You hinted at wanting to meet his team, and hoped that he’d introduce you to them soon, but with every passing day you grew more doubtful.

You’d been anticipating a break up for a while now, but you just didn’t think it’d be you who did it.

Spencer was out with his team again. He’d only briefly talked about them, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was one of his team members that was holding his attention. Maybe that JJ or Emily person, you thought.

You were tired of being left home alone, and were feeling even more down than usual, so you decided to go out by yourself. If Spencer wasn’t going to have fun with you, you could have fun with you.

You pushed open the door to the bar on the corner of the street, but stopped in your tracks when you saw Spencer, and the group of people around him you quickly put together was his team. You scooted out of the entryway, and just stood there watching them. You felt sort of creepy doing it, but it might’ve been the only time you could see Spencer when he wasn’t around you. Maybe it would tell you something.

What you saw felt like a spear to the chest. Spencer was smiling. He was laughing. God, you missed hearing that laugh, seeing that smile. It’d been so long since he’d done either, and that’s when you realized the full weight of how unhappy Spencer must be with you.

Sure, he’d been pulling away, but the process was so gradual that seeing the stark contrast of him with his team versus him with you was blinding. It was like the universe was throwing it in your face just to mock you. It was painful.

The thing that really got you, though, was the way he was looking at one of his teammates. It wasn’t one of the pretty blondes, or either of the jaw-dropping brunettes, but it was the dashing man next to him. You’d seen those eyes before, the ones Spencer was giving him. He looked at you that way once, but not at all recently.

You felt ashamed for it, but your initial reaction was resentment. You hated the very attractive man with deep brown eyes and a little scruff that you’d never met. He was the reason that your Spencer was drifting from you.

But that’s the thing. He wasn’t ‘your’ Spencer. He was just a cute, shy, germaphobic guy that you met at a bookstore. And based on the way that he was looking at his teammate, you wondered if maybe Spencer hadn’t been ‘yours’ for a while now.

Unbeknownst to you, you’d started tearing up, and only noticed it when some of the people around you started giving you strange looks. You furiously wiped at your face, and took a few deep breaths. At that moment, you decided to leave, to calm yourself down for the rest of the night and confront him about it tomorrow.

You were nearly out the door when you heard that oh-so-familiar voice call out, “Hey, Y/N!” You turned to see Spencer slightly jogging towards you, “What are you doing here?”

You experienced forever in a moment, hundreds of thoughts swarming your mind in an instant: I’m here because he never wants to spend time with me anymore and I was going to drown my feelings in alcohol; It doesn’t matter why I’m here because now I know what’s been going on between us; I can’t stay with him; but I love him; maybe we can make it work; he’s clearly unhappy with me and I’ve known it for a long time; the way he looks at his coworker is the way I want him to look at me; can I ever make him look at me like that again; what did I do wrong; this is that man’s fault; this is Spencer’s fault; this is my fault; maybe I’m just not good enough for him; why am I not good enough for him; god I think I might cry again; no I need to pull myself together, that’d be embarrassing; I wish I was good enough so I could see him smile and hear him laugh like that again; that man made him smile like that and laugh like that, something I haven’t been able to do in a long time; he doesn’t love me; he loves him; I love him; I want him to be happy, he deserves to be happy; I deserve to be happy; I want him to be happier than he is with me; I want him to be as happy as he is with that man all the time; I want that happiness to be with me, but it’s not; I want him to be happier.

We shouldn’t do this anymore.

It’s not that you couldn’t do it anymore, you wanted nothing more than to keep fighting for the two of you, but you had the astonishing thought that you just shouldn’t. I wouldn’t be fair for you to keep Spencer from the man he truly wanted, and it wasn’t fair to yourself to continue in this relationship.

In the blink of an eye, you heard yourself speak the words you never thought you would, words you couldn’t even believe you were saying out loud, right now, to the man you just realized you loved. “I’m breaking up with you.” You felt tears rising to the surface, but you swallowed them down. This is for the best.

Spencer looked beyond shocked, like he surly hadn’t heard you correctly. “What? Why?”

You gave him a sad smile, “Spence, this is the first time I’ve seen you happy, like really truly happy. And you know what? It’s not with me.”

This just confused him further. “I don’t…” he trailed off.

You gestured toward the strong-jawed man who was trying, and failing, to not-so-subtly look your guys’ way. “It’s with him.”

Spencer followed your gaze, and offered a small, confused laugh. “Who, Luke? No, we’re just-”

“I swear to god, if you finish that sentence with ‘just friends’ I will slap you across the face,” you cut him off. Spencer gave you a slightly startled look, so you lowered your voice to a more calming one. “Look, you should be with him, okay? You actually want to spend time with him and you’re smiling which I feel like I haven’t seen you do in months.”

Spencer was shaking his head. “Y/N, I can try harder, we can-”

You held up your hand to stop him. “I don’t want you to have to try. No one should have to try that hard to keep this going. It should be easy, effortless, which is what you’re getting from someone else. So no, we can’t and more than that, I don’t want to.” You felt almost as surprised as Spencer looked from your words. They were true, from the depths of your soul you felt how true your words were, and couldn’t believe that you were finally admitting that.

Spencer’s voice was small when he asked, “Why?”

You heard the double meaning behind the question, and answered with the first thing that came to mind. “Because I love you.” You realized it was the first, last, and only time you’d get to say that. “And that’s why I want you to be happy, even if it isn’t with me.”

Spencer was about to respond when a high pitched voice, sounding slightly drunk and a little bit annoyed, yelled across the room, “Yeah, new guy!” You saw the tall man approaching the two of you, and it all kinda clicked into place. New guy. So when it felt like one day Spencer woke up loving me, and came home distracted, that wasn’t too far off. He went to work that day, which was probably the same day that ‘new guy’ started working with him. It all started slowly making sense in your head.

‘New guy,’ Luke, walked up to the two of you, standing shoulder to shoulder with Spencer, and cautiously started, “Hey, what’s going on here?”

Looking at the man before you, you hated to admit it, but your anger diminished a little, and your jealousy grew. He was a very attractive man, full, strong build, piercing eyes, gentle face, and about the same height as Spencer.

You gave Spencer a pointed look about the proximity in which they were standing, especially when the other man’s shoulder brushed up against his. Spencer wasn’t a touchy person, but he actually seemed to relax in the other man’s presence. That spoke volumes.

You knew this Luke guy was also a profiler, so he could probably sense the tension, granted anyone probably could’ve. He quickly looked at Spencer before directing his attention back to you. “Can we help you with something?”

You wanted to scoff, or laugh, or vomit. Maybe all three at the same time. Can we help you with something? Clearly Spencer had never told any of them about you, and you couldn’t help but smile, with just a hint of bitterness, at his immediate use of ‘we.’ As if you were a threat that he needed to help Spencer defuse. But you also smiled because you were right. Again, it didn’t take a profiler to spot the very different tension between the two of them.

You shook your head, looking more at Spencer than at the other man, “No, I don’t think so. Not anymore.” There was no malice in your voice, only sadness, with just a dash of exhaustion. Who knew that pretending like your relationship wasn’t sinking took so much effort?

Spencer gave Luke a tight smile, “Just give us a minute?”

He wearily nodded, but backed away from the two of you. You sighed, “Look, he seems like a good guy and clearly already loves you in some capacity, and you know what?” You half-joked, “If he does something stupid you give me his number and I’ll give him a call.”

This earned a small laugh from Spencer, which made you want to both smile and cry. Of course, it was only after you’d broken up that you could get him to laugh. You settled for a small smile, and an immediate awkwardness settled over the two of you.

You made the first move, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. With a comforting hand on his shoulder, you looked into his sad eyes, and whispered, “Bye, Spencer.”

Those were the last words you exchanged, and you walked out of that bar without another look back.

You were letting him go.

You were setting him free.

Then only for a minute

I want to change my mind

‘Cause this just don’t feel right to me

I wanna raise your spirits

I want to see you smile but

Know that means I’ll have to leave

So I’ll go

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