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kylesvariouslistsandstuff · 6 months

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I'm gonna expand on what I wrote here, months ago.

A) The "sources" reporting on live-action remakes of THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG, TANGLED, FROZEN... And TARZAN, apparently... Are rumor-mills... Take the news with a grain of salt.

B) These movies are inevitable. Disney's mining the whole catalogue, well... Most of it. There are some they probably won't do for various reasons... But I expect at least 95% of their animated feature library to get this garish live-action/photorealistic CGI treatment.

Recent movies aren't out of the equation, they're as "fair game" as the pre-Lasseter/Catmull era animated movies. Up until the announcement of a MOANA remake, the latest movie to be up for that was LILO & STITCH, a 2002 movie.

Like I said before, I used to grouse about these. I just don't care for them anymore, really. They're not for me, more importantly. These things are literally just for little kids who want to see a "real-life" take on characters they love in these movies... To see some actors float around blah, rushed CGI scapes for 2 hours...

And I guess, they're for people my age who stopped watching Disney movies at age 10 because of peer pressure, and they are now "nostalgic" or whatever. Couldn't be me, I watch at least 2-3 Disney animated features in full every calendar year in addition to assorted classic short films. They're on my brain 24/7/365. I have a collection of their many VHS releases, for chrissakes...

Anyways, they're not for me. And yeah, I still get annoyed when the filmmakers/actors promoting these remakes take potshots at the animated films, but really, do their obtuse comments really do anything to the classic movies? I'm pretty sure those who "get it" will still keep a film like SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS - which was recently restored and re-released on physical media, at that - up on the "classic" pedestal, no matter what this 2024 remake tries to "correct" about it. (Outside of outdated portrayals of dwarves, most "criticism" I hear of the 1937 Walt Disney film appears to be written by people who apparently didn't watch the movie or have a serious lack of media literacy.)

So yeah... It's inevitable. Disney will eventually remake TANGLED and FROZEN, given how popular they are. When MOANA was announced, I knew... Yeah, these would probably be next. TARZAN was a big hit in 1999 - which seems weird to think now given how weirdly nonexistent some of those post-LION KING movies were for a while. (I think Lasseter and Catmull didn't really care for a lot of those movies, and swept them under the rug. Kinda acted as if they were mistakes, and they came in and corrected everything after Michael Eisner's ouster. Lasseter infamously hated LILO & STITCH, for starters.) HERCULES is coming, MULAN hit three years ago, HUNCHBACK was apparently in some form of development, so TARZAN's inevitable. PRINCESS AND THE FROG may have underperformed in 2009/10, but it's a beloved film now, no doubt helped by Tiana's presence in the "Disney Princess" line. Now some decade later, a ride is being re-themed for her movie and she's got a show coming, too.

I know a lot of passionate animation fans are distraught every time they announce these things. I on the other hand am just weary of it all, and I understand that it's just the capitalist machine at play here. Instead of Walt's philosophy of putting revenue into making new movies and not retreading old ground, it's "how many different coats of paint can we put on the car?"

It's just the reality of the whole movie industry, really. This isn't Walt remaking the studio's UGLY DUCKLING short circa 1939 because he thought the original version could've been better, this is Disney reheating old favorites over and over because... Franchises. Content.

This is a beast of Bob Iger's making, for sure, this is SO not the small wave of live-action remakes that came out in the '90s. This is the era of everything old is new again. We had a LORD OF THE RINGS show recently. TOY STORY 5 is coming. We had decade-later sequels to INDIANA JONES and MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING and such. You see how David Zaslav over at Warner Bros. wants to make more Harry Potter stuff even though the recent FANTASTIC BEASTS movie didn't do all that hot? Like, sometimes... Let stories end? Whatever. People see this mass live-actionization of animation as this evil "animation is just a stepping stone to superior live-action" scheme. It kind of is, I guess? But I think that's related more to how the industry screws the people who make animation a reality. More than anything, it's just "how many times can we reheat this same dish?"

Right now, a big concern from many is how the filmed arts are being reduced to CONTENT.

For example, Martin Scorsese keeps warning about this, but many people just seem to be hyperfixated on some harmless comments he made about Marvel movies. The very movies that exacerbate this problem with these franchise-happy Hollywood studios.

Like, a successful and beloved animated film is basically now a cash cow. It's not as simple as "Hollywood hates animation, they see it as a stepping stone to superior live-action", it's more "they see a goldmine". Sure, some of the crews behind the remakes disparage the animated features, but what else are they gonna say? "The original's great, so we did it again"? "The cartoon is for babies and is outdated" is what sells.

In the 1990s, Disney would make TV shows and direct-to-video sequels to milk their animated movies, but now? A new Disney animated hit means... A remake, something on Disney+, a reboot of the remake, etc. It's just more content, really. And advertising for the "originals" that got people to love those characters in the first place.

The live-action/tech demo end of Disney barely does anything new anyways (and if they do, the movies go straight to Disney+... Then disappear... Then reappear somewhere else), so they just spend their time and efforts on all these remakes.

In an alternate history, this end of Disney would look different. Maybe JOHN CARTER OF MARS would've been a blockbuster in 2012 and we would've gotten a trilogy out of that, maybe TOMORROWLAND would have spawned at least one sequel if it had done well, maybe TRON: ASCENSION - a TRON threequel that actually follows up on the previous movie and isn't some unrelated Jared Leto vanity project - would exist... But alas, all their riskier movies flopped and their smaller scale pictures didn't really move the needle, so they're largely just making remakes and films based heavily on the animated classics (like CRUELLA)... And occasionally, a theme park-inspired movie, like JUNGLE CRUISE and HAUNTED MANSION.

So really, Disney's just doing what the industry as a whole is doing. Viewing what they have as content, and how to reproduce it, how to make a ton of variations out of it. And in turn, move merch for and raise awareness for the original. Like, most of the merch for LION KING 2019 was actually for the 1994 classic. Ditto that same year's ALADDIN and DUMBO remakes.

Look at Universal, they have that HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON live-action coming, too. Don't be surprised when they start mining DreamWorks Animation's library for more films to remake. Also helps that a good chunk of DWA's movies are based on books or pre-existing source material. Netflix has that AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER live-action show coming. ONE PIECE live-action is a big hit.

And yet, it'll always be the animated versions that'll continue to hit different.

When PRINCESS, TANGLED, and FROZEN "live-action" are made... And are big hits... It'll always be because the animated movies they are based on... Made that much of an impression.

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woeisme-iamwoe · 3 years

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an absolutely massive Haikyuu!! fic rec pt. 2

IwaOi this time around. My favorite ship. The world’s favorite ship...there’s so many

Undecipherable, by ioo (4k. G. canonverse)

I’m pretty sure the author meant ‘indecipherable’, nevertheless! I am appalled that this work doesnt have more hits. Y'all are sleeping on it and that's not okay.

The sound of the door slamming against the wall has Hajime startling back to the present. He looks at the source of the disturbance and finds himself face to face with Oikawa, red in the face with breathlessness and a leather-bound notebook tightly clutched in both of this hands. When he spots Hajime, he makes a beeline for the bench and slaps it down right next to him.

"Koi no yokan," he says. "The sense one can have upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love."

primavera, by tothemoon (8k. T. canonverse)

All of tothemoon’s works read so beautifully

They say it takes twenty-six years, for certain breeds to fully bloom.

Learning to Walk (So That We Can Run), by ricekrispyjoints (27k. M. canon-divergence)

I've read this work so many times. Like, so many times and I’ve never tired from it. Gorgeous. The shift from friendship to romance felt so natural, love it.

"I'm not healing like I should be."

In his second year of university, physical therapy just isn't cutting it. Oikawa's knee is getting worse, and he can't hide it anymore.

Or: the light angst, project-your-own-life-experiences-on-Oikawa knee surgery fic you didn't know you wanted.

Priorities, by weirdmilk (2k. T. canonverse)

Kissy, kissy.

‘I just -’ Oikawa begins, ‘it might be difficult to get married, sometimes, I think.’ He chews on his lip.

Iwaizumi makes a questioning noise.

‘Ah,’ Oikawa says, and then, in a rush, ‘if I didn't want a wife at all - what then? If I said that to you. If I told you I can’t see it. Like - the wedding dress. The bride. I just can’t see it.’

Iwaizumi swallows again, his heart beating much faster than the conversation warrants. He wonders whether Oikawa can hear it. ‘You’re eighteen. You aren’t supposed to see it yet.’ He snorts. ‘I mean - if we’re sharing shit, I’ve never even kissed a girl.’ He doesn’t mind admitting it. It’s not something that bothers him - he’s never prioritised girls very highly, and despite Oikawa’s largely undeserved status as Miyagi’s most eligible teenage bachelor, he doesn’t think Oikawa has ever wanted a serious relationship with any of his fan club, either.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi can't sleep before their first practice match with Karasuno.

Before Midnight, by fathomfive (2k. G. canonverse)

Reads like a fairytale.

The sky turns, the seasons turn over, and Iwaizumi and Oikawa track the movements of the stars. Nothing is ever quite constant, but it's close enough.

The grass is stiff with frost. They walk in silence past the raked-over vegetable garden and up the back hill, footsteps crackling, and stand side-by-side at the top of an incline that used to seem much bigger. Iwaizumi glances over but Oikawa’s already gone, eyes searching the sky with no hint of hurry, just a kind of reverent patience.

make a bet, keep a promise, by raewrites (13k. M. canonverse)

Bet still on.

Sometimes, in still moments, Iwaizumi wonders why out of all the people on earth he ended up with Oikawa Tooru. Why it’s his face that lingers on his fading conscious in the last moments before he falls asleep, in the first blurry seconds upon waking up again. Why when he looks to his side, he expects Oikawa to be there in the same way he expects to see five fingers on both hands, a natural extension of himself, ever present.

Why he can’t imagine a future without Oikawa in it.

It begins with a bet made between the two boys in the mid-summer of their eighth year. It starts with volleyball, but like with most things involving Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime, things are never quite that simple.

our hearts still beat the same, by knightswatch

two birds, by thelittlebirdthattoldyou (5k. T. canonverse)

Of heartbreaking letters and paper crane wishes.

Five months into the term, two months after he’s stopped replying to Oikawa’s texts, the first package arrives. A small square box, wrapped in brown paper and tied with string, and Hajime almost trips over it on the way to his dorm.

There’s a letter attached.

Oikawa doesn’t know how many times he’ll have to put his feelings down on paper before Iwaizumi believes them.

Through My Eyes, by anchoringsouls (2k. G. canonverse)

Okay! Okay, we were doing great with the soft, happy love up until the last part! That's great, just great!

“I think if you ever saw yourself through my eyes, you would fall in love with yourself the same way the way I did with you.”

in time it could be ours, by deusreks (3k. T. canonverse)

Anyone wanna go back in time and make a time capsule with me only to dig it up years later and we’re actually in love?

Set post Seijou's match with Karasuno. There's a moderate amount of rolling in the dirt. No pajamas were hurt in the writing of this fic.

There, in their joint backyard, was Oikawa Tooru, clad in his silly luminescent space pajamas, digging a hole near a cherry tree.

“What the hell, Oikawa.”

Tooru stubbornly continued digging. He looked pitiful in that moment; everything that was grand about him in daylight was meaningless in the darkness. He was only a boy with a shovel whose broken heart mirrored Hajime’s own.

we can do better than that, by spaceburgers (16k. M. canonverse)

Of course, of course, the IwaOi road trip fic. AnD thErE wAs ONly OnE bED!

Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

They Say it Rains Diamonds on Jupiter, by exsao (35k. T. canonverse)

I don't know, just gorgeous. Hajime’s so in love.

"You're in love with him."

Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.

"Yeah," he says instead.

He's never been good at lying, anyway.

Midnight boys/sunset town, by carafin (10k words. T. Housemates AU):

The author says they played off of the fact that Oikawa oftentimes forgoes his sleep in order to work, and wrote it so that he doesn't sleep at all. This was so cute, kinda sad, mostly not. Love how Iwaizumi just goes along with whatever crazy stilch Oikawa is on.

In which Iwaizumi Hajime grows a few chili plants, participates in an eating contest, breaks into a park, and falls in love with a man who doesn't ever sleep - not exactly in that order.

5 Reasons Why Iwaizumi Hajime's Flatmate Is A Complete Weirdo (An Incomplete List)

1. He's obsessed with that stupid bucket list of his.

2. He's the proud owner of seven truly ugly, criminally hideous movie posters with aliens on them, which he insists on pasting all over the damn living room.

3. He's always stealing Hajime's sweatshirts.

4. Sometimes, he wakes Hajime up for breakfast. At 5AM. On Saturday mornings.

5. He literally never, ever sleeps.

The Best I Ever Had, by FindingSchmomo (62k words. T. Canon-divergent):

You’ve read it, your mum’s read it, your dog has probably read it (you really need to take facial recognition for him off your phone, he’s got some weird nighttime habits). So basically this fic caused me physical pain and then pumped me full of morphine and now I’m good! Beautiful read, hated Oikawa for a while, Iwaizumi is the only boy I would ever feel safe alone with.

A story of separation and time lost. Oikawa and Iwaizumi lose contact, and life goes on. Now, a decade later and back in Japan, Oikawa wonders if he can pick the pieces back together, despite knowing Iwaizumi has moved on. A story of their past, present and future, pieced together by shaky hands.

darlin', your head's not on right, by aruariandance (13k words. T. canonverse)

Again, I’m pretty sure anybody who's anybody has read this fic and for good reason! Super sweet realizing you're in love fic. Makes me reconsider wanting to get married.

'“Our wedding,” Oikawa says by way of explanation, tapping his finger against his magazine more emphatically. “What colors should we use? Color scheme is important, apparently.”

Iwaizumi feels his lifespan shortening.

“I was thinking our Aoba johsai colors to go for more, you know, softer tones? Besides, I’ve always looked great in that sea foam green color. Oh, and I guess you look decent in it, too.” He grins, saccharine sweet, and Iwaizumi has never been so tempted to knock one of his perfect pearly white teeth right out of his stupid mouth."

or,

Oikawa teases Iwaizumi about a childhood promise he made to marry him when they were older, except suddenly it's not really a joke at all.

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle, by kittebasu (66k. T. canon divergent)

Is this one of the most famous Iwaoi fic? I don’t know. Looks like it, I know it's my personal favorite. Where Oikawa studies bugs for a living and can’t seem to come to terms with his feelings. Very angsty, love that in a fic.

Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

Terrarium, by sausaged (11k. T. Post-canon)

Honestly, I’m so surprised this fic doesnt have more hits! It’s so good! Made me ache! I love the memories and character growth shown through the growing of the terrarium, absolutely adore that kind of symbolism. So beautiful, give it some love because it's one of my absolute favorites.

He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).

At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?

A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.

Lips like sugar, by ohhotlamb (8k. T. canonverse)

Why did my childhood best friend never offer to help me practice kissing only for us to realize we were only interested in each other? I had a fake high school experience.

Hajime is offered to learn the art of kissing from a true professional, one Oikawa Tooru. It's not as bad as he thought it would be.

Falling Slowly, by bravely (commovente) (3k. T. canonverse)

So special, imagine loving one person, and one person only like this for the entirety of your life. This is getting too sappy, I want off of this ride.

over the years, some things change; but over the years, some things stay mostly the same.

(alternatively, mornings with oikawa and iwaizumi over the years).

No sleep in the city, by loveclouds (7k. T. canonverse)

Mass/volume = Iwaizumi, apparently. (Please. If anyone gets this absolutely horrific joke, lets elope).

Along their journey to find Tokyo's best ramen, Iwaizumi finds himself asked again and again why Oikawa is still single.

Time, by surveycorpsjean (5k. E. canonverse)

Growing older together.

When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.

Everything With You, by Ellessey (14k. E. canonverse)

Came damn near to crying, you can just feel Iwaizumi’s pain. Fight scene was probably the most emotion evoking one I’ve read in a long while.

‘Hajime still loves Oikawa, but he understands now. Oikawa can't look at him and see someone he could potentially date.

And that makes it easier to not focus on the little things that used to drive him crazy—Oikawa's long legs, the way he's always hanging off of Hajime, how his whole face changes when he gets ready for a jump serve, and he looks like he could take on the entire world and win.

This new arrangement though, this living together situation, is presenting a new set of variables that must be adjusted to, and the nakedness is one of them.’

For years, being Oikawa’s best friend has worked out fine. Hajime is hopelessly in love with him, but it’s enough. Then Oikawa—who, by all accounts, has never been anything but determinedly, assuredly straight—gets a boyfriend. Or a boy friend-with-benefits. Hajime doesn’t know, and he doesn’t give a shit about the definition.

What he knows is that remaining best friends is starting to seem a bit too painful (way too painful) to be considered a solid option.

The Best Best, by rikke (12k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Takeru is a whole mood. Don’t want kids, but I do want domesticity and this fic feeds me well.

“Congratulations, Iwa-chan! You’re a dad!” Iwaizumi hears as soon as the door opens. He’s dealt with Oikawa for all of his twenty-one years of age now, but this declaration is still sufficiently disturbing enough that he turns from his place on the couch and braces himself for whatever Oikawa has done this time.

Or the one where Iwaizumi and Oikawa babysit Takeru for a week.

cheek kisses, by ohhotlamb (G. 3k. Future fic)

Sooo cute!!

“Every time,” Hajime murmurs, “every time I see you again I remember how fuckin’ crazy I am about you.”

Routine, by snoqualmie (2k. T. canonverse)

Again, anyone wanna be my childhood best friend so we can put face masks on each other and fall in love? I died, truly.

Iwaizumi is fourteen years old, horny too often and angry all the time, and he’s just starting to notice that Tooru’s legs are really long, that his lips are kinda soft looking, and his fingers feel good pressed under his jaw.

Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad, by sunsmasher (19k. G. canon divergence)

Be wary, I would give this fic an upper rating to probably Teen and the follow-up fic is Explicit. But, Oikawa on the Japanese national team is just a dream as is, but add in a rekindling friendship and an angsty make out sesh? Mwah, delizioso.

It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

He has, however, sent Iwaizumi tickets for the 2024 Los Angeles Summer Games.

“So go,” says Matsukawa's voice. “It’s only a few weeks. You’ve got a whole city to hide in if it gets awkward, and if it doesn’t get awkward, well…”

It’s like watching the future reconfigure, like being in high school again, watching team after team fall to Oikawa’s faultless planning and shameless charm.

“I’ll get to watch a whole lot of volleyball,” Hajime says, and resigns himself to fate and/or Oikawa Tooru.

“Hey, when you get there, can you bag a gymnast for me?” Hanamaki asks, and Matsukawa squawks.

Chasing Paper Suns, by carafin (10k. T. Future fic)

Again with the growing up and coming back together, this time with more angst than the last. Lovely, really lovely read.

Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.

Some days Hajime likes to think of himself as Oikawa’s counterpart—the two of them blending into a single devastating unit, the invincible setter and his unyielding ace, the bond between them unbreakable and true. Other days he feels like he is chasing after a rising sun, always running and running with his eyes fixed on the distance, trying to cross a chasm that stretches on without end, caught in an endless and exhausting pursuit.

the yellow room, by ohhotlamb (14k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Makki and Mattsun see bullshit and call you out on your bullshit.

“I told you, we broke up like six months ago. We’re not dating anymore.”

Hanamaki eyes him suspiciously. “You live together.”

“Yeah, so?”

“There are pictures of you two kissing stuck to your refrigerator.”

Hajime shrugs. “That wasn’t my idea. Anyways, they’re good pictures. Good lighting.”

the river runs, by tothemoon (11k. T. post-breakup)

My heart ACHES. Happy ending, promise! Just read it.

One year since their breakup, Oikawa Tooru starts a list of daily reminders, tips, and tricks called HOW TO FORGET ABOUT IWAIZUMI HAJIME, and he’s determined to make it stick.

—

This is a firsthand account of how to deal (and rather spectacularly, at that).

I sure hope that guy gets fired, by Xov (29k. T. canonverse/time loop au)

The only thing better than one confession, is MULTIPLE confessions. Oikawa trusts Iwaizumi unshakably, and that's beautiful.

It was the fourth time experiencing the exact same day that Iwaizumi Hajime reluctantly admitted to himself that something was very wrong.

my only friend was the man in the moon (until i met you), by ohhotlamb (7k. T. canonverse)

Just so innocent and sweet. Oikawa said ‘effort’.

In which Oikawa has a life-altering revelation, and Hajime is starting to think it involves him.

Bet On It, by originalblue (13k. E. canonverse)

Tooru being nice for a week? That can only end one way… with a d*ck in Hajime’s mouth.

Hajime knows exactly how shitty Oikawa's personality is, and has no scruples whatsover about betting Oikawa six thousand yen that he can't be nice for an entire week.

especially for tender ones like us, by viverella (17k. T. canonverse/post break-up)

Gods! See? See what I mean? How could I forget about a work as heart wrenchingly beautiful as this? Give it some love, actually, all of the love.

The worst part of it all, Tooru thinks to himself sometimes, is that even as they fought and kicked and screamed and tore each other to shreds, it was never that Tooru stopped loving Iwaizumi any less. The worst part of it all, he thinks, is that loving Iwaizumi turned out to not be enough.

(OR: on finding the right person at the wrong time and learning how to pick up the pieces)

sunset town, by skiecas (33k. T. canon-divergent)

Another work that I just CANNOT understand why it doesn't have more hits. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I almost cried.

In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

Two years down the road, reconciling his lifelong dream with his lifelong love proves to be the greatest challenge.

of odd numbers and intimate regrets, by bravely (commovente) (5k. T. post-canon/one night stand au)

Basically, Tooru and Hajime sleep together after not speaking for seven years and of course there’s feelings and angst and a belated chance at happiness and a life together.

Tooru’s spent the last seven years of his life in a carefully constructed schedule that is, he realises now, as much a habit as it was a way to forget about the person in front of him.

[or, the one night stand AU between two people more than friends but not quite lovers, measuring the passage of time in distance and long-gone memories, the expansion and contraction of the spaces between their fingers each time.]

cross my heart, open wide, by acchikocchi (7k. T. canonverse)

Super cute, super short. Realizing you're on a date with the wrong person one-shot.

For a minute Hajime doesn't know what to say. Everything and nothing crowds his mind, leaving no room to think. That he's never tried this. That volleyball's over. That he's graduating in five months. That it would be really nice, at least once, to go on a date with a good-looking guy.

Hajime goes on a date. It's not with Oikawa.

Fernweh, by oikawashoyo (19k. G. canonverse/post time skip)

A mature(ish) Tooru?? I love works that show Tooru growing and living happily in Argentina and this one is just beautiful. (Plus! Plus, Skai did a piece on it as well and I love ALL their work so you can visualize everything). Love it.

Argentina is stretching out before him, an opportunity, a challenge. He is reminded of his losses, his insecurities, his disappointments; sees them form a tall, tall wall blocking his path to success. He takes a deep breath and knows he is going to shatter it.

In which Oikawa's whole life is spent longing for the horizon — in the form of a dream, a home, and a boy.

i breathe easily in your arms, by orphan_account (2k. M. canonverse)

Soft, soft sex

When, after completing their high school graduation ceremony and heading home to enjoy their freedom, Oikawa had pulled him into his room and pressed his lips hesitantly against Iwaizumi’s own, it seemed an inevitable development in the unfolding narrative of their shared existence.

Despite years of having a bed to himself, the sensation of another body taking up space in his sheets, curling against his chest, creating warmth, feels natural in much the same way.

old and new, by Mysecretfanmoments (5k. T. canon divergence)

Finally a fic where they don't freak out on confession and it's sweet.

“You seem—sad.” Was that the right word? Others sprang to mind: desperate, lonely, anxious.

Tooru looked away. “Are you going to make me say it?”

“Say what?”

Tooru folded his arms, sighed. “I missed you, of course.”

Hajime swallowed.

“No need to look that way. I told you, I’m not one of your macho man buddies. I’m allowed to say stuff like that without being embarrassed—”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Hajime complained. “No need to be so defensive. I’ve missed you too.”

“Oh?” Tooru seemed to get a little of his own back, leaning forward on his elbows. “What about me did you miss?”

((Going to separate universities, Hajime and Tooru learn the true meaning of "distance makes the heart grow fonder"))

all i wanted was you, by spaceburgers (6k. E. college/fwb au)

This was more emotional than I thought a 6k friends with benefits fic could be, okay? Okay.

Wherein Hajime and Tooru are fuck buddies, Hajime curses his treacherous heart, and Tooru is bad with feelings.

we shine like diamonds, by whitemiists (26k. T. canon divergence)

I couldn't not include this work. It deals with internalized homophobia so well and I really resonate with it.

In all seriousness, I’m very lucky to live in a country where my sexuality is widely accepted and my heart goes out the LGBTQIA+ peoples who are forced to hide themselves. You are loved and your sexuality and gender-identity are not wrong and never will be.

Oikawa is nine when he first hears the word. The boys on the playground whisper it like it's dirty, like the way they daringly mutter the word fuck and then look over their shoulders to check their parents hadn't heard.

"You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Look For Him, by Leryline (18k. E. canonverse)

A collection of kisses. I love Hajime’s grandmother.

She laughs gently. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so heartbroken before, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi sighs and prods at the mackerel with a chopstick. “Sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just different, you know? Like Oikawa pissed me off so much that now he’s not here I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“But you weren’t always annoyed with him, were you?” his grandmother smiles serenely and takes a sip of her tea. “My, my, Hajime, old women see everything. I saw you out there with my finches, when you were kissing Tooru’s nose. Your mother and father used to do the very same thing, you know, when they were younger. And look how long they’ve lasted. I hope you and Tooru last, Hajime. He’s very good for you.”

Oikawa has kissed Iwaizumi more times than either of them can count; it’s a constant thing, their lips never really leaving the other’s skin. There are, however, times when they’ve kissed that are burned into their memories. Eight of them, to be precise.

film reel life, arsenicjay (8k. T. canon divergence)

Such a unique and creative idea! Reading from the eyes of a camera, so beautiful!

The only person Iwaizumi is lying to is himself, when he insists: I am not in love with Oikawa Tooru.

how to let your planets align, by tether (tothemoon) (15k. T. end of the world au)

This is the only remotely non-happy ending fic I will be including on here, and it's purely because it's a gorgeous read. And yes, I ached. Your lips, my lips, apocalypse.

It is the last day on earth, December 2nd, 1985, when you realize you're in love with him.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fic #haikyuu fic rec #iwaoi #iwaizumi x oikawa #Iwaizumi Hajime #oikawa tooru

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crow-in-a-teapot · 3 years

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tower of nero spoilers

i have just finished the tower of nero. and before i go searching for other people’s thoughts and art and more of the characters i love so much, i want to write down some of my own thoughts because i know as soon as i delve into that ‘ton spoilers’ hashtag there are going to be complaints and criticisms and so much that i don’t want to hear, or essays that’ll make me upset, or things that’ll change my perception on the book (because on this website people really love to hate the trials of apollo).

i want to start with: i loved it. it didn’t feel earth-shattering or huge and momentous like some of my favourite riordanverse books (house of hades, the blood of olympus, the last olympian and maybe some of the magnus chase books take those pedestals for me) but it was satisfying. and i think it was satisfying because it in no way felt like an ending. whether because eventually rick will write that will-and-nico-go-through-tartarus-and-save-bob novella, or because we (or at least i) will continue writing and imagining and creating for this world i don’t know. he didn’t wrap up the story in a perfect little bow like ‘nineteen years later’, he simply put it on pause. gave us a glimpse of where every character was at at the end.

the only thing that makes me so angry and upset is that i did manage to get some spoilers for moments that i know would have been so good to experience for the first time if i hadn’t been spoiled for them. the moment where rachel mentions penguins in a mansion near her house, nico getting mental health advice from mr d, the fact that will and nico were going to be in the book for so much of the story, but the big thing was literally spoiled for me two days ago, it was the reason i sat down to read it as fast as possible because i was terrified of getting more spoiled and not being able to experience the moments for myself, was that piper had a girlfriend. i know that reading that for the first time would have been so cool and surprising, and the fact that when it came up for a moment in the last couple pages all i felt was disappointment because it was spoiled for me and because it was now tinged with whatever that person was saying about her having a girlfriend.

but i still had some warm fuzzy moments, the two parts where apollo thinks he’s going to die but nico comes up behind him - so good. impeccable.

Leader Guy spat. ‘Now, I kill you.’

He raised his sword... and froze. His face turned pale. His skin began to shrivel. His beard fell out whisker by whisker like dead pine needles. Finally, his skin crumbled away, along with his clothes and flesh, until Leader Guy was nothing but a bleached-white skeleton, holding a sword in his bony hands.

Standing behind him, his hand on the skeleton’s shoulder, was Nico di Angelo.

and

Nero raised his hand, ready to give the kill command, when behind me a mighty BOOM! shook the chamber. Half our enemies were thrown off their feet. Cracks sprouted in the windowsand the marble columns. Ceiling tiles broke, raining dust like split bags of flour.

I turned to see the impenetrable blast doors lying twisted and broken, a strangely emaciated red bull standing in the breach. Behind it stood Nico di Angelo.

gods. poetic brilliance. i can’t believe i’m still a nico di angelo stannie in the year 2021. in five years i have not changed (ever since the tv show announcement last summer i have managed to morph into myself from 2017)

from here i’m not sure where to go next i kind of want to go through everything, except it’ll be more difficult than my tyrant’s tomb reaction because i wasn’t reading on a kindle and thus can’t just do funny little reactions to screenshots of quotes, so i’ll just skim through the book page by page and see what i can comment on (i’m not planning on doing analysis today, no thank you, just enjoying the end of my childhood and trying to squeeze as much out of it as possible)

i have an emotional attachment to mr. snake from the very first chapter, and am very upset that he’ll never get off on his baltimore stop and get to see his wife, lu had no reason to shoot and kill him like that.

that brings me to lu, i liked her, it was interesting to see how rick kind of brought in not only the overarching theme of abuse, but also people who let the abuse happen, i have more i could say on this i’m too lazy to right now, and i promised no analysis - or the fact that Lu had conspired to make the show non-lethal to spare Meg’s feelings rather than - oh, I don’t know - refusing to do Nero’s dirty work in the first place and getting Meg out of that house of horrors.

And are you any better? taunted a small voice in my brain. How many times have you stood up to Zeus?

Okay, small voice. Fair point. Tyrants are not easy to opppose or walk away from, especially when you depend on them for everything.

the parallels to meg and lester heading to percy’s apartment, and then to camp half blood to the hidden oracle was so cool to read, every callback to the hidden oracle just there to remind us readers exactly how far apollo has come and how he’s changed; the entire chapter with sally, paul and estelle just felt sickly sweet, it just didn’t seem real how wholesome and good that family is, like i get why apollo broke down and just sobbed in that shower.

also rick really saying acab again in toa, i thought he was done after that elf cop chapter in magnus chase (the magnus chase series is a masterpiece) but apparently not, with A ‘good cop’ is still a cop... still a part of the mind game.

the grey sisters, i forgot about them completely but this threw me back into was it the sea of monsters when annabeth summoned them? i’m not sure, it could have been the lightning thief either, they really remind me of the disney hercules movie. the whole ganymede paragraph was gold, i love gods being canonically confirmed lgbt in the riordanverse. i also love the whole eye-tossing part -

‘He will crush our eye,’ Anger cried, ‘if we don’t recite our verses!’

‘I will not!’

‘We will all die!’ Wasp said. ‘He is crazy!’

‘I AM NOT!’

‘Fine, you win!’ Tempest howled.

also, the explanation for why dionysus chooses to look the way he does was perfect, because it was something i often wondered about and wasn’t expecting to get an explanation for, and i imagine the whole mythological dionysus to look like.. well like a more feminine apollo i guess, beautiful in a gender non-comforming way.

Other Olympians could never comprehend why Dionysus chose this form when he could look like anything he wanted. In ancient times, he’d been famous for his youthful beauty that defied gender.

...

In retaliation, Dionysus had decided to look and act as ungodly as possible. He was like a child refusing to tuck in his shirt, comb his hair or brush his teeth, just to show his parents how little he cared.

every scene with nico at camp just BREAKS ME, i would throw in screenshots of every damn quote but unfortunately, as said above, cannot and would rather not type every one; we’ll start with, obviously apollo confirming to him that jason is dead.

He didn’t look angry exactly. He looked as if he’d been hit in the gut not just once but so many times over the course of so many years that he was beginning to lose perspective on what it meant to be in pain. He swayed on his feet. He blinked. Then he flinched, jerking his hands away from Meg’s as if he’d just remembered his own touch was poison.

ugh then will talking about how nico’s doing, confirming that he’s suffering with ptsd, mr d giving him advice, helping him sort though what voices in his head are real and which ones aren’t, then the paragraph that just recounts every horrific thing poor nico has been through, how will has to reassure him that he’s okay and ‘with friends’ when he wakes up after shadow travel

will’s kindness to apollo, buying him clothes, and apollo finding seymour the leopard’s head in his bed, put there by mr d aaaa AAAA A A A A A THE ORDINARY, EVERYDAY CAMP HALF BLOOD THINGS..

i could go on for years and years about how much i appreciate rachel having a big role in this book, and the visit to her apartment, everything, her art, the fact that she got what she wanted, she’s going to PARIS to study ART, she isn’t forced to be someone she’s not by her dad, and gets to be a big part of a demigod mission and not stand on the sidelines for once.

i love that her landscapes are still visions, that she still paints the quests demigods go on - the burning maze, jason’s funeral pyre, caligula’s ships; and how nico ~appreciates art~

‘And, hey, di Angelo -’ she pushed him playfully away from the canvas he’d been ogling - ‘don’t brush against the art! I don’t care about the paintings, but if you get any colour on you, you’ll ruin that whole black-and-white aesthetic you’ve got going.’

i. love. rachel.

WILL GLOWS!! THE HEADCANONS FROM LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO THAT YOU’D SEE FLOATING AROUND ABOUT HIM MANIPULATING LIGHT!! CONFIRMED!! CANON!! AMAZING

I AM OBSESSED WITH THE TROGS, I LOVE THEM, THEY ARE GREAT, not gonna lie, i was expecting something more dramatic and spooky with how worried will was and how dionysus was going.. visiting the cavern-runners isn’t ♫ good for your mental health ♫ but the little hat frog gremlins were a good addition. i like them very much and their funky little soup shenanigans. quoting the ghost king himself: trogs good. nice hats. (IM SORRY I KEEP MENTIONING HIM BUT I JUST) also how apollo starts wishing for breadsticks a s ajoke and theY STRAIGHT UP HAVE BREADSTICKS? HUH? WHERE DID THEY GET THE BREADSTICKS FROM??

yeah, i’m also still very much upset by every mention of jason grace, it’s funny how ever since his death in the burning maze i have grown to love him more and more and that’s not fun for me, for that boy to become one of my main comfort character’s and have his death and sacrifice and nobility mentioned every few chapters. i’m pretty sure i cried when he appeared to talk in apollo’s dreams, and this time the tears weren’t from the effort of keeping my eyes open and working for hours straight reading this book (i remember staying up until 2am to finish the sequel to beautiful, broken things, it was very much worth it)

‘All right, Jason. We miss you, though.’

ALSO. THE FACT THAT THIS KID. THIS CHILD. HAD TO THINK ‘BUT IF A HERO ISN’T READY TO LOSE EVERYTHING FOR A GREATER CAUSE, IS THAT PERSON REALLY A HERO?’ A KID ISN’T SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND BE READY TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR THE GREATER GOOD,, i,, ugh,, he’s supposed to be finishing school and designing temples not being the perfect hero and soldier,, spain without the s,,

as @couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name said: ‘thinking about how ghost! Jason didn’t seem to understand why Apollo was so upset about his death because he’s been raised to believe a hero’s sacrifice is noble and his life doesn’t matter in the grand scheme and also if he doesn’t understand why the person who watched him get horrifically killed is so torn up over his death he probably doesn’t even realize his other friends are grieving him..’

IM SO UPSET THE ARROW OF DODONA IS DEAD D: IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS ALL THE FUNNIEST MOMENTS WERE BECAUSE OF THAT ARROW AND IT'S DEATH WAS SO SAD WTH LIKE WE FIND OUT HOW USELESS THE ARROW FELT AND HOW THE GROVE OF DODONA ALL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CRAP AND WOULD FAIL APOLLO AND THEN ONCE WE FEEL BAD FOR IT, IT DIES??

the entire python battle was pretty grim, there is a part of me that's like because this is the last book series i would have loved say the magnus chase and kane chronicles gang in a giant battle with everyone like the battle of manhattan but even more dramatic, but even so, i did appreciate that python battle and the whole almost-falling-into-the-depths-of-tartarus thing.

him talking to artemis was cool, but JESUS: 'I turned and strode out of my room, trying to recall how the god Apollo walked.' like that HURTS. it was such a huge culture shock for apollo to go throught this huge character arc and be so human and understand the pain of others, to be around gods again who are so.. apathetic. also, zeus. 'Interesting how he put that: I had done him proud. I had been useful in making him look good. My heart did not melt. I did not feel that this was a warm-and-fuzzy reconciliation with my father. Let's be honest: some fathers don't deserve that. Some aren't capable of it.'

OKAY OKAY SO THE END?? CHIRON TALKING TO A CAT (BAST) AND A SEVERED HEAD (MIMIR) ABOUT SHARED PROBLEMS WITHIN THE PANTHEONS!! WILL AND NICO RECEIVING A PROPHECY FROM RACHEL TO GO TO TARTARUS AND SAVE BOB!! THE HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS, INCLUDING THALIA AND REYNA BEING BEST FRIENDS (qpr.. qpr..) HUNTING THE TEUMESSIAN FOX!! PERCY, ANNABETH AND GROVER, THE ORIGINAL TRIO, GOING ON A CHAOTIC ROAD TRIP TOGETHER!! - SO MANY STAND-ALONE SET -UPS PFSJSJSJ

okay quick word on the reunions at the end: funny little elephant visitation program with livia and hannibal. love that for them. calypso and leo's relationship seems rocky and complicated, but that's to be expected, i think even if they do get properly back together again it might not last long, because it does pretty much feel like a teenage relationship where the two aren't very compatible, but we'll see. hazel and frank are so funny with their gold plated necklaces. lavinia - tap-dance icon. almost cried at the mention of jason's temple-extension plan again. percy not being sure about what he wants to do in college is accurate and i like that that's left to be up-for-interpretation (rick does THE MOST for the fanfic writers pfsjsj). i am OBSESSED with aeithales, like i hate deserts so the burning maze setting is not my favourite but GOD that HOUSE, the vibes are off-the-charts. i'd love a house made of living trees that's also a greenhouse filled with dryads. meg gets a unicorn. that is so great.

i kind of wish the book hadn't ended with 'Call on me. I will be there for you.' because every time I imagine the friends theme song and i don't think that's the vibe he was going for, BUT i do love him talking to meg, that was genuinely emotional - 'You'll come back?' she asked. 'Always,' I promised. 'The sun always comes back.' ; i really wish it had ended with that, but i guess apollo does tend to break fourth walls and talk to the readers, like a lot of the protagonists of riordanverse books.

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samwrights · 4 years

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Baby Fever

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it 600 times. I need Hanamaki Takahiro to put a baby in me. Y’all are going to be so tired of me after this one. Fluff and slight NSFW. @dreamyjaems not totally daddy related, but pretty darn close ;)

Hanamaki;

The first time he notices it is when you’re both out with another pair of couple friends.

They’d been married for six years, while the two of you were entering three years together, and they’d just had their first baby less than a year ago.

Despite never mentioning a future desire for them, Makki watched the way you interacted with that little girl and he knew straight away.

Haha, I’m in danger.

The way your eyes soften when you hold her or the way you’ve created a new, soft persona that only spoke in high pitched gibberish

The way you were constantly buying the baby’s clothes for no reason. At all.

It becomes more apparent when the two of you are out shopping and you somehow end up in the kids clothing section.

Baby vans is where Makki draws the line. Do y’all know expensive baby vans are? I’d draw the line too.

“Sweetie...sweetheart...love of my life...” Makki has a grin on his face, his eyes aren’t open, and he’s holding your guys’ statement for your joint bank account. “Mind telling me why the fuck you spent $138 at the vans store when you didn’t buy any new vans?”

“How do you know that I didn’t?”

“Because you would have shown me them.” His grin drops into an entirely unamused look. “What did you do?”

Sighing in defeat, you walked over to a nearby shoe closet, pulling out three boxes of baby vans in varying colors and sizes. “They were just so cute 🥺”

Makki takes a seat beside you on the couch, hunching over his knees while covering his face with one hand. “I wish you’d just talk to me about this first before you went splurging on a kid we don’t even have yet.”

Yet?? Y E T??

“I was under the impression you didn’t want any.” And that wasn’t necessarily wrong, per se. The two of you were still young, trying to work through college debt, and weren’t as stable as you could be. But Makki was in this for the long haul, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t want you to be the mother of his future children.

“I mean I’m not opposed to the idea of trying.”

“...wanna start trying right now?”

“You son of a bitch, I’m in.”

Iwaizumi;

Iwaizumi was going to tear his hair out if he heard you coo at a baby one more time.

At first, it was fine. Yeah, the baby you spotted while the two of you were in line at Starbucks was cute. Even cuter when the baby waved to you, he wasn’t denying that.

But nearly every chance you got when the two of you were out in public, you’d smack him on the arm when you’d see a baby.

Legit, it was like you had a fucking radar on you.

“Haji, Haji, look! Look at how cute the wittle baby is!”

It was endearing, really, because he’d see the pout form on your lips as you tried to catch the infants attention. But again, that damned radar you had was driving him wild because it seemed to happen everywhere you went.

If there were toddler siblings or, heaven forbid, twins, you absolutely lost your shit. You fawning over one was bad enough but two? Or more? Good god.

Iwaizumi has banished all walks to the park. Walking your dog together? He made a new route away from the nearest children gathering place.

He couldn’t even bring you to McDonald’s anymore because you’d just stare at the fucking play place.

“D-do you really just not want kids, Hajime?” You’d asked him one time after seeing how red he turned with near anger? Maybe anger wasn’t the right word.

“That’s not it...”

???

He groans out of embarrassment cause he really doesn’t wanna admit this out loud. “Every time you talk about kids, I literally just wanna go home and fuck a baby into you.”

“Okay, so what the fuck are we waiting for?”

“College graduation???” Damn him and his logical rationalizations.

“We’re almost done with school—if we start now we’ll have already graduated before the baby’s even born.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me.”

Oikawa;

Oikawa actually entertains your baby fever—which is no help at all.

I see him totally being the dude that indulges watching 16&Pregnant, Teen Mom, etc. with you.

Half the time, you guys make bets over which couple’s going to break up, who loses custody of their child, so on and so forth.

But one thing remains consistent with the two of you—who the cutest babies are.

A constant topic of conversation between the two of you during these times is how idiotic some of the parents were. Have y’all ever seen Unexpected? Diego was the worst, and both of you had a unanimous opinion on that.

Unfortunately for you, these shows really start piquing your curiosity as to how yours and Oikawa’s little one would actually be.

And how the two of you would be as parents. It does upset you a little bit, considering he’s heavily focused on his pro career.

Oikawa notices the lack of desire to watch any of the aforementioned shows, despite that being a typical Friday night thing for the two of you. Friday night (baby) Fever.

“Alright, what’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing? I just feel like we should do something else.”

“Uh, no. I know you’re dying to see what the hell Max was doing while Chloe was giving birth.” 💀💀💀 he’s not wrong.

You gnaw on your lip while you make dinner—as per usual for your Friday nights. You always made something that required a bit more love while Tooru kept you up to date with his career.

“Do you think we would be better parents?”

“Duh,” he responds without skipping a beat. “both of us know how to make a bottle and change diapers.” He adds, referencing to the multitude of times you’d babysat friends’ kids or his newly born niece.

“Tooru, I’m serious.” A dry yet light laugh leaves his lips before he’s standing behind you, wrapping his arms just under your breasts and resting his chin on your head.

“I am too. I’ve just been waiting for you to give me permission.”

Oya? Wait, shit wrong person sorry

Needless to say, y’all don’t need to watch anymore pregnancy shows after this—too occupied with your own journey into parenthood.

Matsukawa;

Oh Mattsun, my clueless bunny.

He probably wouldn’t even notice, tbh, that you literally are in near tears when you see a cute baby.

Cause I imagine his s/o would be one that cries over all the cute things. Puppies? Cry. Kittens? Cry. Otter pups? Double cry.

But he seems to be missing the key theme here—b a b i e s, Issei.

He kinda dense.

You’ve always been good with kids without really trying, he learned, when you started watching your best friend’s five year old son once a week.

The little bean was your best friend, besides his mom and Issei of course. Every Thursday, you got up early so you could welcome the boy, make him breakfast, and hang out with him all day.

At first, it did funny things to Mattsun to see the way you’d glow while making slime or watching your favorite kid’s movies with him.

He learned quickly you could quote the entirety of Hercules and Mulan, and often acted out the singing parts with great theatrics.

When your best friend would come for her son, you’d get a little sad, enough for Mattsun to notice. He’s not that dense.

But dense enough not to notice the way you longingly stare at mothers holding the hands of their toddlers or carrying their babies while the two of you are out grocery shopping.

You’ve never wanted anything more than to have a kid with Issei. Even if he is kinda 💀💀

He’s so good to you, and it kinda hurts your heart the way he brushes off hanging out with you and the kiddo. Like he doesn’t want children period.

So, like any other healthy relationship, you actually decide to sit down and have a talk with him about this. Low key, it kinda scared him cause he thought you were about to dump him. “Do you see yourself having kids in the future?”

“Babe, I physically cannot.”

“I fucking hate you, Issei. I’m being serious.” Despite your words, you try not to laugh. You failed.

“What brought this on?”

“You just never seem to want to hang out with me and the rugrat when he’s over.”

“Not gonna lie, it’s just really hot watching you play mom.”

“You know, I don’t have to play mom.”

“Bedroom. Now.”

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regrettablewritings · 3 years

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Modern!Jaskier x Reader Ship Meme

Prompts taken from this ship meme

Which one texts like a straight white boy?: Of course it would have to be our resident white boy. It isn’t even that he necessarily means to, there’s just an embarrassing amount of overlap between the messages a straight white boy tends to text, and those of your rising star boyfriend. You’d look more into it if it weren’t for the fact that you know there’s no actual malice in it, and because it’s just so sad that it’s funny. If one were to go into the photos saved on your phone, they would’ve surely come upon an entire album of screenshots you’d taken over the years, from when Jaskier would be on tour without you to when he’d just be resting at home while you were out at work. Things like: “Wat r u up to 2nit, cutie? ;)” “I’m probably just gonna play whatever’s on my Watch Later backlog on youtube until I conk out.” “Wild!!! anyway wat would u do if i was there rn~?” Or “Do u miss me? :(” “Of course I do ya dingus!” “Ok....Can we do a quickie over videochat?” “Jas i’m at the store.” “The point still stands.” Or “Watcha thinkin bout? ;)” “About how The Great Gatsby becoming public domain means there’s nothing stopping anyone from making a drag show interpretation called The Gay Dragsby.” “Aaww w/o me? ;)” “...” “WAIT NO I THOUGT YOU’D SAY YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT ME SHIT NO.” “BUT ACTUALLY DO GO ON IM KINDA INTERESTD.” If it were anybody else, you would’ve blocked them. But this wasn’t anybody else. It was your Jaskier: Your foolhardy, constantly horny, but never-short-of-loving Jaskier. And besides, not for nothing, at least they were something you could get a laugh out of.

Which one cried during a fucking Disney movie?: Once again, Jaskier is the guilty party. It’s no secret that he’s the more emotional of the two of you -- he wore his investment in Titanic with pride, after all. But it is a secret that the particular Disney movie to make him cry was Hercules of all things! Not Bambi, not The Lion King, not even Beauty and the Beast, but goddamn Hercules! (On another note, he also cried to Coco. But that barely counts: Literally everyone and their mother has cried during Coco. The only difference here was that Jaskier could relate to being a young man so in love with music while coming from a family that discouraged the pursuit of it.) This isn’t a knock on anyone who enjoys the movie, mind you, but let’s be honest: Out of the Disney animated canon, Hercules isn’t exactly the most . . . emotionally cathartic or heart-string-plucking of the bunch. But just because it didn’t go out of its way to create a crying frenzy doesn’t mean that it’s lacking in some humanity. It is, after all, still a Disney film. The problem is, Jaskier can’t even quite express why it made him cry the night you both decided to watch it. Maybe it had something to do with a young man most people took as a joke trying to achieve greatness? And to be fair, “Go the Distance (Reprise)” and “A Star is Born” differently when you’ve done some growing . . .

Who put a goddamned fork in the microwave?: It only happened once, but you’d never let him live it down. You like to joke that you’d left him to his own devices for just fifteen minutes so that you could take a shower -- of which was completely true -- and that was all he needed for things to go downhill. Nobody wants to think they’d be in the wrong for trusting a 20-something year-old to not be his usually somewhat distractable self. But that particular day, said 20-something year-old decided to occupy that little spot of time to himself with TV and a plate of leftovers. And normally this would’ve been fine and dandy. But normally, Jaskier would’ve just waited for the food to heat before searching for something to watch. It shouldn’t have been too big of an issue that it went the other way around that day, but apparently it was. As much as he wanted to (which honestly wasn’t by much), Jaskier just couldn’t tear his eyes away from the images flashing on the TV. The baby blues were set on the screen the entire while -- up until he heard a faint popping. Followed by a sound he normally only heard in a cheesy sci-fi movie. The problem was, he wasn’t watching anything even remotely science-fiction-y . . . All you were doing when you exited the bathroom was going to grab your lotion. That was literally all you had any expectations for. What you hadn’t expected to come upon was your boyfriend, hollering and diving over the sofa in order to scramble into the kitchen and stop that strange, not-good-sounding sound. Suffice to say, you had to put your shower on hold; it simply had to wait for you to finish fussing, then again for you to finish laughing your ass off. And again because if you entered the shower still laughing, you’d probably slip and break your head open and then Jaskier would have to deal with another possible emergency caused by himself.

Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who?” thing?: You can both be guilty of it, but Jaskier without a doubt does it more. Sometimes he’ll emerge from “his cave” (aka the little nook in the apartment where he likes to mess around and write lyrics or arrangements) on a break and catch an unsuspecting you sitting on the couch or at the dinner table. Other times, it could just be when he comes back from running some errands or doing a quick interview at the local radio station. You don’t mind it much . . . Especially since you can get a rise out of him by purposefully guessing the wrong person. (“Hmmm . . . Could it be . . . my mail-order husband? Boy, that was quick. And all the way from Russia, too . . .” “Uh, no.” “The milkman, finally accepting my invitation to commence a torrid love affair?” “Okay, you know damn well -- ” “Or better yet: My hopes and dreams have manifested, oh, Waluigi, could it really and truly be you!?” “What in the absolute fuck --”)

Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?: Because it’s usually himself who presents as being the more mischievous of the two, and because he tends to run the warmest, it always shocks Jaskier when you decide to play dirty and put your cold limbs all over him. Is it childish? Yes. But are his reactions to the sudden feeling of icy flesh hilarious? Also yes. You love to creep up on him when he’s tuning his guitar or scribbling down lyrics, or just minding his own damn business by trying to actually turn in relatively early for once. You love even more to watch him jolt and release the most high-pitched yip a man of his build could ever even joke about making. You’ll still be laughing about it as he scowls at you, cursing your “ghoul hands” and demanding to know if he’s dating a corpse at this point. Of course, no matter how peeved he might be, you can always count on one other thing from his dramatic reactions: Him huffily grabbing your hands into his own and rubbing them warm, or him forcing a park of fuzzy socks on your feet. And just for extra measure, you can be sure that he’ll spend the rest of the night holding you close or cuddling you -- “For exchanging bodily heat purposes,” he will always reason.

Who had that embarrassing reality TV marathon?: You both are guilty of it, actually. The question should really be, who is the least shameful about it. As with most things regarding a lack of shame, it was, of course, our dear Jaskier. Being a musician with a growing following, the little attention whore just can’t miss out on an opportunity to show himself off to his awaiting public. A rising star with relatability and a taste for trash? People eat that shit up! So you’ve learned to be less surprised every time he decides to liveblog himself watching things like Love Island or any of the 90-Day Fiancee spin-offs. In fact, in more recent times, you’ve come to join in with him, adding your own corresponding Tweets and commentary. Though don’t be too shocked once he starts holding polls and letting the public decide what show the two of you should watch next.

Who laughs more during sex?: You do, completely through Jaskier’s own efforts. Jaskier’s always had a pretty lax view of sex. This didn’t change when he met you, of course, but how he specifically portrayed that laxness did undergo some metamorphosis. Before, the entertainer was much more intent on his bedroom experiences being a display of power and an ability to please. Something dramatic and to be taken seriously. He still sees the importance of satisfaction in the bedroom, mind you, but with you, he can’t help but feel more . . . comfortable. With you, it’s a little more okay if he accidentally makes a dumb noise that in no way can be salvaged as sexy. With you, it’s a little more okay if he struggles to get his or your pants off, or if he struggles with removing your bra. And with you, he’s come to find that he’s a lot more okay with sharing a giggle or being a little more loose about things. It’s fine if your fingers tickle him or if he struggles to think of something proper dirty. But it’s even more fine if you think something he says or does makes you laugh, but not in a way that discredits his efforts. When you laugh, it shows that you’re comfortable with him. Comfortable enough to be with him, and be truly vulnerable. So do forgive him if he can’t help but run his fingers up your sides in a tickling fashion, or sloppily string together an innuendo. He simply loves how golden your laughter sounds, even in the throes of passion, intermingled with sweet whimpers and pleas of his name. How the heave of your chest and rippling of your tummy bumpily sync in with the rhythm of his thrusts . . . He just wants to see your smile, your genuine mirth, and bask in it with you. Besides, it serves as excellent song inspiration for him . . .

Who is the little spoon?: It depends on the sway of the day, really. As a whole, you both take turns without much thought simply because you tend to just fall into your positions. Some days, you just happen to lay into him in a way that makes you the little spoon. Other days, he conks out next to you in a manner that most could consider would make you the big spoon (or jet pack). Neither side really fights how it plays out unless one or the other may feel small and vulnerable, or just plain tired and in need of comfort. You often find yourself playing the role of the more dominating position during those first few days after Jaskier returning home from either a quick tour, or after finishing a long week of hours upon hours in the studio, or whatever kind of press-related nonsense his management team told him he needed to do. For as much as your boyfriend loved the spotlight, the truth was he was still quite capable of burning out and needing time to himself. Or, at the very least, just time with you. Even if that means he’s asleep for most of it, with you clinging to his back as he drifts off into a much-needed sleep. He makes sure to return it tenfold when you need just the same. Sure, your occupation may not be of the same nature as his own, but that didn’t mean you were in any less need of his cuddling. In fact, with him being gone as often as he was, Jaskier couldn’t help but feel almost guilty for not always being able to provide you with the basic comforts of being a constantly present boyfriend. Hence why the moment he would see your fatigued body crossing the threshold of your apartment, he would be all over you, ushering you into a quick shower, followed by a quick and simple dinner or snack, and capped off with him cuddling about you from behind. It didn’t matter if you’d come home right in the middle of a writing frenzy, or even if he’d been in the middle of searching for a breakthrough with an arrangement -- for as vain and bullheaded as Jaskier could be, he knew he owed you at least this much. You already put up with so much of his nonsense; this was quite literally the least he could do, both for you and for himself. Besides, he who was he to fight against the feeling of you wiggling closer into his hold, to deny himself the sound of your soft breathing as you lay yourself vulnerable to him? The fact of the matter is that he simply isn’t. He couldn’t be. Maybe in the beginning when things were still so unsteady and uncertain, but never now, when things had become so . . . well, what he could only describe as being “the both of you”. The both of you, molded and entwined, never wanting to let go. Never planning on it, either.

#jaskier x reader #modern!jaskier x reader #jaskier imagine #jaskier imagines #the witcher imagine #the witcher imagines #regrettablewritings

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365days365movies · 3 years

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March 15, 2021: Clash of the Titans (1981) (Part One)

This one’s personal…sort of.

Other than the fact that this is based on Greek mythology (previously well-established as one of my favorite subjects), this movie is, in a way, responsible for my existence. And that is because, according to legend, this is the film that my parents went to on their first date. And apparently, it went very well, because I came into being 10 years afterwards. So, yeah, this film is personal, like Dirty Dancing.

And also like Dirty Dancing, I HAVEN’T SEEN IT? I don’t know HOW I escaped seeing this movie. And that’s especially considering that I’ve seen the new one. And that movie was...not great.

Maybe not the worst film I’ve ever seen, but it’s definitely not a good movie. But OK, what’s this one about, exactly? Y’all ready for “The 365 Greek Mythology Hour” again? OK, then, here we go. SING IT LADIES

Clash of the Titans concerns the myth of Perseus, one of the greatest Greek heroes ever. Before Heracles, there was Perseus, son of Zeus. Yeah, Zeus, as he is wont to do, came down to Earth and had some good time with the princess of Argos, the beautiful Danaë. He came upon her while she was locked in a box by her dad, Acrisus, king of Argos.

Yeah, the Oracle at Delphi, ever the wisest, was visited by Acrisus one day, who wanted a son instead of a daughter. The Oracle spoke with Apollo (AKA huffed some of that SWEET SWEET ETHYLENE GAS), and told him that his daughter’s son would kill him. And so, he did the most logical thing: he locked her in a box. Yup. Dick. SPEAKING of dick, Zeus appeared to her in the open box as a golden shower. NOT THAT KIND OF GOLDEN SHOWER. I mean a literal shower of gold. Although...I wouldn’t put it past Zeus, of all gods. Dude was kinky.

So, Perseus is conceived, and Acrisus responds to this with his usual tact; he stuffs Danaë into a SMALLER box, and shoves it out to sea. She gives birth to a boy in the box, and the two eventually wash up on the shore of an island, where a fisherman finds them and takes them in. The boy is named Perseus.

Years go by, and Perseus’ mom is sought by his adoptive dad’s brother, and the king of the island, Polydectes. Polydectes is kind of a dick, and Perseus, now an adult man, doesn’t like him. The feeling’s mutual, and Polydectes has a plan. He holds a banquet, and forces all invited to bring a gift of horses. Perseus, being pretty poor, cannot bring this gift, but promises on his honor to bring whatever Polydectes wants of him, no matter what. And Polydectes asks for the head of Medusa.

Fuck.

Medusa’s one of your classic Greek monsters, a Gorgon. She’s one of Athena’s victims, formerly a vain temple priestess who was, well...raped by Poseidon, let’s be honest. However, since Athena’s priestesses were meant to be celibate, she was the one who ended up being punished. Fuckin’ YIKES. But OK, literal ancient gender politics aside, Athena cursed her with snakes for hair, and the ability to turn her victims into stone with a gaze into her eyes. Classic. And sure death for anyone who went after her.

So, Perseus is fucked. He’s gotta kill Medusa, and he doesn’t even have a way to get to her place. And that’s when he gets a favor from none other than Athena, goddess of wisdom and wartime strategy, as well as Perseus’ half-sister. I love Athena (other than the Medusa bullshit, obviously), and this is one of her most prominent roles in mythology. Well, that and the creation of spiders. That was also punishing a woman for her vanity, by the way. She has a type.

First, Perseus was told to find the Hesperides, nymphs of the dusk and dawn who would give him weapons. He got their location from the Greae, more colloquially known as the Gray Sisters. Weirdly enough, you may know them from Hercules, where they were combined with the Fates. They don’t have the future gimmick, but they do have that whole “sharing an eye” thing. Also, they share a tooth. Neat.

Anyway, Perseus takes their eye hostage, which makes them tell him where the Hesperides are. He goes to them, and they give him a bag to hold Meduga’s head. Then, the gods step in. Zeus decides to be a good dad for a change, and gives him an indestructible sword, and Hades’ Helmet of Invisibility. Hermes, another of Perseus’ half-brothers, gives him a pair of winged sandals to fly with. And Athena, technically Perseus’ patron, gives him a mirrored shield.

Perseus heads to the cave of Medusa, uses the shield, then goes up to her and cuts off her head. From her neck, for some goddamn reason, and golden sword pops out, alongside this guy.

Yeah, he’s not made out of clouds. He’s actually the, uh...he’s the result of Poseidon’s crime against Medusa. Fucked up, innit? Pegasus flies up to hang out with Bellerophon to kill the Chimera, and Perseus heads back to...actually, he goes to ANOTHER king who was a dick to him, and turns him into stone with Medusa’s head. Kings hate Perseus, seriously.

Perseus heads home after that, and goes through Ethiopia. There, he meets the King and Queen, Cepheus and Cassiopeia. Cassie’s gorgeous, but she tells Perseus that her daughter Andromeda is, like, WAY hotter, as beautiful as the sea goddesses. Which PISSES OFF POSEIDON (who is basically the villain of Perseus’ story, let’s be honest), and he send a sea monster named Cetus to destroy the kingdom, UNLESS they sacrifice Andromeda to it. And, because kings are assholes in this story, they do, chaining Andromeda to a rock. But, because Perseus believes that all women are queens, he goes to rescue her, and kills Cetus using all of his things. He weds Andromeda, and turns his romantic rival Phineus into stone using Medusa’s head.

Usually, that’s where retellings end, because there’s a recurring trend to Perseus’ story after that. A king is an asshole, Perseus whips out the head, asshole becomes statue of an asshole. However, there is that prophecy to contend with, about Perseus killing his grandfather. See, Acrisus basically retired by this point, and lived in the kingdom of Thessaly. But one day, he went to see some games, in which Perseus was competing in the discus. Well, wouldn’t you know it, Perseus isn’t great at it, and loses control of the discus, which hits Acrisus, killing him instantly.

Utimate frisbee, man. It’s dangerous.

There’s another version where Perseus uses Medusa’s head to turn his dad into stone, surprise surfuckingprise there. But yeah, after that the story varies. Sometimes he becomes a king, sometimes he doesn’t. He basically always marries Andromeda and has kids with her. Sometimes he founds a city of his own, sometime he doesn’t. And in one ending, where he’s lived to be an old king, he fulfills his ultimate destiny and turns Medusa’s head on himself. Geez.

So, yeah, there you go. That’s the story of Perseus. Let’s, uh...let’s see what the movie does, huh? This is another Ray Harryhausen joint, so I’m...tentatively excited for it. We’ll see how badly they mess up the myth, and whether or not it works despite that. So, ENOUGH of me lecturing you guys, huh?

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We begin approximately where most iterations do: King Acrisius (Donald Houston) has just cast his daughter Danae (Vida Taylor) and grandson Perseus into the ocean, containing them within a wooden chest in order to “forgive his daughter’s crimes”. Yeah, sure, OK, buddy. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

This also pisses off Zeus (Laurence Mother Fucking Olivier), who consorts with the rest of the Olympians on what to do to Acrisus. Said Olympians include Hera (Claire Bloom), goddess of marriage and women; Thetis (Maggie Mother Fucking Smith), goddess of the sea and leader of the Nereids; Athena (Susan Fleetwood), goddess of wisdom and strategic victory; Aphrodite (Ursula Andress), goddess of love; and Poseidon (Jack Gwillim), god of the sea.

Hera tries to defend Acrisus, noting his prior years of devotion to Zeus and the other gods. But Zeus ain’t HAVING that shit, and tells Poseidon to destroy the city of Argos in revenge. This is to be done by...releasing the last of the Titans? Which is apparently the Kraken. I mean...no, a thousand times no, but whatever.

This little tantrum is Zeus’ way of showing his love towards Danae, whose child Perseus is his. This is helpfully pointed out by Thetis, who seems...a little spiteful, as much as Hera is about Perseus. Seems like she’s stoking some fires. Hmm. She is Queen of the Nerieds, so she may play a larger role later on.

Beneath the sea, Poseidon readies himself to set loose the Kraken and destroy Argos, at Zeus’ command. Zeus, meanwhile, kills Acrisus by using a clay voodoo doll of sorts to strike him down. And that’s when Poseidon lets loose the Kraken for the first time. And the Kraken...

Guys, the Kraken looks...actually, I’ll spoil his appearance later on. The Kraken destroys the city, and Zeus kills Acrisius. So much for the goddamn prophecy that explains why Acrisius did what he did, but fuck me, I guess. Danae and Perseus, meanwhile, have safely arrived on the shores of the island of Seriphus, at Zeus’ insistence. There, Perseus grows from child into a fine young man, with Zeus always watching over him...and with Thetis and company always watching over Zeus. Interesting.

The adult Perseus (Harry Hamlin) lives happily on the island, much to Perseus’ delight. Thetis, on the other hand, asks about her mortal son, a young man named Calibos (Neil McCarthy). Apparently, Calibos is a bit of a monster, and while he’d been set to wed the princess Andromeda, he’s also managed to kil all living things on the island that he’s been given, save for a single winged horse named Pegasus. Hence...he is to be punished.

Calibos, by the way? Entirely original creation of the film, and there’s nobody like him in Greek mythology. Anyway, Thetis is crushed by this, and decides to exact revenge of both Perseus and her son’s would-be fiancee, Andromeda. She pledges to open up Perseus’ eyes to grim reality, and does so by placing him in the kingdom of Joppa, where Calibos was originally set to rule alongside Andromeda.

Here, in an amphitheatre, he encounters a mysterious masked and robed figure, who quickly reveals themselves to be Ammon (Burgess Meredith), a poet and playwright. Apparently, Ammon wears his disguise to scare off trespassers. He tells Perseus that all of Joppa is in a tizzy about a curse of some kind, and that the story of the fallen kingdom of Argos is a famous legend.

Ammon tells Perseus to go back home to Seriphus, but Perseus tells Ammon that he’s promised to restore his mother’s old kingdom, and decides that Joppa would be a good start. Despite his drive, though, Zeus is pissed off at Thetis for plopping Perseus down unprepared. He tells the other goddesses to give him gifts to help him claim the kingdom of Joppa as his own. This includes a helmet from Athena, a sword from Aphrodite, and a shield from Hera. I mean...OK, that’s super goddamn weird, but OK.

After Zeus leaves, the goddesses rightfully complain about Zeus’ constant womanizing, but note that he probably doesn’t remember Danae at this point, is is most likely acting out of stubborn pride for his “handsome son”. Their words, not mine.

In Joppa, Perseus finds the gifts by the statues of their grantors. The sword from Aphrodite is adamantine, like the original myth, and slices through marble without a blemish. The shield from Hera...talks. Yeah. The shield bears the visage of Zeus, who tells him that the weapons are gifts from the gods, and that the helmet from Athena turns the wearer invisible. I mean, fuck Hades, I guess, but OK. Technically Athena did give the helmet to Perseus, so OK.

Armed with his new gear, an invisible Perseus immediately takes off to see Joppa, sans his sword. We only see his footsteps in the sand as he leaves, which is legitimately a VERY neat effect, and I’m not sure how they did it, but it’s neat as hell. Off to Joppa, a vaguely Phoenician/Persian kingdom, despite the fact that the original Joppa, or Jaffa, is a port city in Israel.

There, he meets a soldier, Thallo (Tim Pigott-Smith), who tells him of the situation. Since Calibos fell to Zeus’ wrath, Andromeda rejected him, allowing any suitor to try for her hand, whether they be royal or not. To do so, they must answer a riddle. If they fail to answer, the would-be suitor is burned to death. This is lorded over by Queen Cassiopeia (Sian Phillips), while Andromeda (Judi Bowker) lives in the tower of the palace.

Which is why Perseus IMEDIATELY uses the helmet to go into her room that night! CLASSY, PERSEUS. There, he sees...a giant vulture bring a cage to Andromeda’s balcony. No idea where in the fuck this is going, but that’s a damn good looking vulture. God, I love Harryhausen.

Anyway, the vulture is here for Andromeda’s soul, which leaves her body and goes to sit in the cage. The vulture takes off with it, al as the invisible Perseus watches on. He takes this opportunity to touch Andromeda’s face in her sleep (stop, Perseus, for the love of Zeus), then decides that winning Andromeda is his destiny. And so, his simpin’ journey begins.

The next day, Perseus asks Ammon how they can follow the vulture, who has apparently headed to the marshes to the “marsh lord”. To follow the vulture, Ammon suggests that they find and capture the last of the winged horses, known as Pegasus. And we’ve officially lost the track of Greek mythology at this point. Shit.

Well, with Ammon’s help, Perseus captures Pegasus and rides him through the skies. Meanwhile, in Corinth, some dude named Bellerophon is just having a stroke, I guess, because he’s totally fucked now. Whatever. The next day, the vulture comes back to Andromeda’s place and takes her soul to the marsh. But this time, Perseus and Pegasus follow them.

In the marsh, the marsh-lord and riddle-maker is revealed as Calibos, who is still in love with the beautiful Andromeda. As she cannot love him, he provides to her another riddle to give her would-be suitors. In tears, she memorizes the riddle and its answer, Calibos touches her uncomfortably, even as Andromeda asks him to lift his curse and show pity. But he refuses, in pain from his love. Jesus, this movie should be called Clash of the Simps, goddamn.

Perseus was watching the whole thing, though, which Calibos immediately figures out when he sees Perseus’ footsteps in the dirt. As Perseus goes through the swamp looking for Pegasus, he’s found and attacked by Calibos. Calibos, by the way, is a guy in pretty solid makeup in close-up shots, and a Harryhausen model in far-away shots.

The two struggle, the helmet is lost in the swamp, and Perseus draws his sword. But we suddenly cut away to see the daily ritual of the presentation for Andromeda’s would-be suitors. Perseus steps in, having survived the attack from last night, and offers his hand to Andromeda, who recognizes Perseus from a dream. She gives the riddle, which is ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. Here, I’ll prove it.

In my mind’s eye, I see three circles joined in priceless harmony. Two, full as the moon; one, hollow as a crown. Two from the sea, five fathoms down. One from the Earth, deep under the ground. What is it?

Any guesses? Anybody?

NO MATTER WHAT YOU FAIL. Because the answer is Calibos’ ring! HOW IN THE SHIT WOULD ANYBODY HAVE GUESSED THAT? It’s a golden ring with two pearls on it! WHO KNOWS THAT SHIT? I call complete bullshit, and the only reason that Perseus knows it is because he spied on this last night! Also, because he cut off Calibos’ hand, and made him renounce his curse, which is...never really specified, now that I think about it.

With that, Perseus has both Andromeda’s and Calibos’ hands! HA! Calibos is not as amused, as he preys to his other Thetis, at a temple of hers. He demands that Thetis take revenge on those whom Perseus loves, specifically Andromeda and the city of Joppa itself. He demands justice, but Thetis identifies this correctly as revenge. All the while, Perseus declares his love for Andromeda, and they seal their union with a kiss and ritual.

During this ritual, in which Andromeda and Perseus are essentially married, Queen Cassiopeia, LIKE A DUMBASS, says that Andromeda is more beautiful than the goddess Thetis herself. Yeah. BAD FUCKING MOVE, especially because she said that IN FRONT OF THETIS’ FUCKING SANCTUARY. At least that dumbass move was kept from the original story.

Well, Thetis tells Cassie that she can only atone for her stupidity in one way: sacrifice your daughter to the Kraken in 30 days. Later on, Perseus speaks with Ammon to figure out how they can defeat the Kraken. Ammon suggests speaking with the “Stygian Witches”, who I’m assuming are our Grey Sisters for the night. However, according to Thallo, they have a taste for human flesh. Still, Perseus is going, as are Ammon, Thallo, and Andromeda. But not Pegasus.

Well...shit, man. That changes a few things, huh? But that’ll be addressed...IN PART TWO! See you there!

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fangirlovestuff · 4 years

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Holding Out for a Hero- Steve Rogers x Reader Pt.11 (epilogue)

a/n- Hey lovely people! I am so frustrated for taking like 3 weeks to upload this last one, but it was just hard to say goodbye to it I guess. Thank you so much to everyone who read, liked or reblogged - going through this journey with you was amazing! Song lyrics are in bold. Enjoy <3

part 10

"Where have all the good men gone And where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn And I dream of what I need!"

You and Julie sang in sync into the microphones in your hands. Well, maybe screamed would be a better word, but the guys didn't seem to care. Steve and Bucky were sitting on the couch, Bucky with a phone in his hand filming you while Steve simply laughed heartily as you and Jules sang.

You were in the compound's karaoke room, because apparently Tony Stark thinks of literally everything when he plans a building like the Avengers compound. You were thrilled when you found this place, showing it to Julia. Together, you convinced the boys to come with you on a double date to karaoke. Well, it was more like the two of you singing and them laughing and filming you, but you were having a great time.

"I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight"

You tossed your hair while you sang, gesturing theatrically with your body as Jules did the same next to you.

"I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light He's gotta be sure And it's gotta be soon And he's gotta be larger than life!"

You looked into Steve's eyes as you sang the cheesy song, smiling widely at him. His eyes twinkled, head tossed back in laughter, and his look reflected how you felt - perfectly happy.

Steve and you were going stronger than ever, and so were Bucky and Jules. After a year of dating, Bucky proposed to Julia. You looked over at her, the ring sparkling on her hand that clutched the microphone. She looked so free. Julie often reminded you of a lioness in the way she carried herself, her proud and cheeky personality shining through in her stunning smile. You were glad she finally found her lion. Bucky was filming with a smile on his lips. Around Julia, his laugh was getting easier and easier as time went on, and you were glad to see them make each other happy like this.

Steve was watching you and laughing so hard he looked like he was going to fall out of his seat. You winked at him as you continued your song and he smiled and shook his head playfully at your antics. You felt your love for him shining in your heart, so bright you could burst. You never wasted a chance to express your love to one another. Whether it was words – when you woke up, when you went to sleep, when you were going or returning from a mission or anything in between – or acts, Steve always made you feel loved. Little notes saying "went to train, be back soon, xo" were a common occurrence with you two, and so were hugs, kisses and cuddles. Even as a year of your relationship was close by, you couldn't get enough of each other, and you wouldn't have it any other way. Knowing Steve was a great privilege – you don’t often come by a person who's so smart, kind, funny, and emotionally supportive, and also is Captain America. But loving Steve was a gift you didn’t know if you deserved, but were thankful for every waking moment. Loving Steve was like eating ice cream in the summer, a cozy blanket when it's raining outside, and petting a cute dog all at once. Steve was your safe place, your hero really. Not a day went by that you didn't cherish him in, and the same was the other way around. You fit like two puzzle pieces finally coming together. If a year ago someone would have told you that you were going to date Captain America, you would've laughed in their face. But you were, and there was nothing that could've made you happier.

You finished the song and collapsed dramatically onto Steve's lap, laughing. "Can you get me some water please?" you pouted playfully. "That was a hell of a performance, so yeah, sure." he chuckled. "My hero," you winked as he went away to grab a glass of water, laughing.

Later that evening, you were all sitting in an Italian restaurant, the very same one where you and Steve had your first date. You were all laughing and talking over each other, enjoying the excellent food and even better company. Your dessert arrived, an absolutely delicious looking tiramisu. You were about to dig in before you noticed a sparkle between the cream layers. You prodded it with your spoon, taking in out and discovering a silver diamond ring. You gasped, turning to Steve, who was looking just as puzzled as you felt. You raised your brow at him, and he quickly shook his head. You felt a pang of disappointment. You and Steve never really talked about getting married, but based on Jules and Bucky's engagement, you anticipated a ring coming to you very soon. Apparently, Steve didn't share the sentiment, you noticed as you took in his seemingly mortified face. You swallowed your disappointment and smiled as you called for your waitress.

"There was a ring in the tiramisu that's not ours," you explained to the embarrassed waitress.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! We must have mixed it up with table 4, the poor guy must not understand what's happening. Maybe he thinks his boyfriend swallowed the ring," she chuckled nervously. "Anyway, I'm very sorry and we'll bring you another one shortly, on the house." She smiled at all of you and took away the tiramisu and the ring. Jules, Bucky and Steve were quick to laugh it off, returning to their conversation, but you just couldn't focus. The ring sent you down a very immersive train of thought, about you and Steve and how he might not want to get married, or he doesn’t want to get married to you.

You remained quiet throughout the ride back to the compound, contemplating your insecurities. No one seemed to notice.

You got back to the compound and jumped out of the car. "Good night guys, I think I'm just gonna go to bed, I'm pretty tired." You tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace.

"But we wanted to watch a movie," Jules complained. Bucky's arm was wrapped around her, a united front.

"Well you guys should go ahead, I'm gonna go as well," Steve said, taking your hand in his. He smiled and you returned his smile. Your sadness started to fade into the background, as if telling you that you could deal with it tomorrow. But right now, with Steve's hand holding yours, you felt your heart swell with love. Jules and Bucky were already ahead, but you and Steve took your time, walking slowly into the building and the elevator.

When you got to your floor, you saw a trail of rose petals from the elevator door. You sent Steve a quizzical look, but he shrugged and smiled, squeezing your hand in his. You followed the trail all the way to your room, smiling at Steve before opening the door.

In front of you was a sea of flowers, and you run to smell them, leaving Steve's hand. You noticed Jules and Bucky were also there, smiling widely. You sent them a puzzled smile before you turned around to thank Steve for the flowers, and you found him on one knee, holding a little black box in his hands. Oh.

You gasped, your eyes immediately welling up. "Steve?" you asked, a small smile forming on your lips. For the entire night, you've been thinking about how Steve's eyebrows furrowed when he saw the ring. You thought it was because he'd never thought about getting you a ring, that he hadn’t wanted to. Apparently, it was just because some random mix-up beat him to it.

Steve looked up at you, his eyes shining as well. "Hey sweetheart," he chuckled in response to your question. "You know, before I caught you that day when you jumped from the elevator, I was thinking about how the new recruits are gonna be, how are they gonna find their place around here. And then you landed right into my arms, and you were so pretty I couldn't help but think your place should be there, in my arms, all of the time." He was beaming up at you now.

"Smooth," you couldn't help but comment as you beamed back down at him.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "And then I got to see just pretty wasn't enough to describe you. You are overwhelmingly beautiful, inside and out. You're strong, and smart, and funny. And I thought I could never deserve having you in my arms. You were a shining star and all I could do was watch from the earth as you soared through the sky." Tears started to fall from your eyes as you smiled at him. "But then I jumped; I jumped and you were willing to catch me. Maybe not to be in my arms the entire time, but to hold my hand. And I have never been luckier. I love you," he took a deep breath, "more than words can describe. So, will you make me the luckiest guy in the universe once more and hold my hand forever?" he popped open the box, revealing the most beautiful ring you had ever seen, "Will you marry me?"

You nodded your head so quickly you thought your neck would snap, but fortunately, it didn't. You knelt down next to Steve, wrapping your hands around his neck. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes," you smiled, accentuating each yes with a kiss – to his cheeks, to his nose.

He grinned at you and drew away, taking the ring out of the box and slipping it onto your finger. "I love you, Steve," you touched your forehead to his. "I love you too," he replied, kissing you gently yet passionately, making you feel so loved like only he knew how to. You put your hands on his cheeks, feeling the ring on your finger prominently. You smiled into the kiss, breaking apart but staying close to each other, breathing the same air.

"Congratulations!" you heard a shout from across the room. You turned your head, smiling. You were so focused on Steve's speech you had forgotten Jules and Bucky were still there. Jules' eyes were shining with unshed tears and Bucky was smiling from ear to ear, their phones in their hands. Bucky came forward to clap Steve on the shoulder and embrace him tightly before hugging you, whispering in your ear, "he'd get you the moon if you told him to."

"He's my sun," you whispered back. You pulled apart, smiling at each other, understanding you both love this punk more than anything. Jules hugged Steve, whispering something you couldn't make out into his ear, and then came to you, wrapping her arms around you in a crushing bear hug. "I'm so happy for you," she whispered, her voice wavering with emotion. "Thank you," you whispered back.

"Oh, the pictures!" Jules exclaimed before she reached for her phone. She opened it to reveal a stunning picture of you and Steve; your hands cupping his face, foreheads touching. "Jules," you smiled and but your lip, getting emotional over the beautiful moment she captured perfectly.

Soon Bucky and Jules left you to your own to celebrate, and you did, your night filled with declarations of love and delicate touches.

And years later, the picture was hanging off the wall of Steve's and your house, adorned in a golden frame. You were lucky enough to marry your hero, and love him more and more every day for the rest of your lives.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #Steve Rogers x Female Reader #steve rogers #steve rogers imagines #avengers imagine #avenger!reader #MCU fic #avengers #bucky barnes #original character

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protectwoc · 5 years

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The Problem with Mal (part 1/3)

Or, Framing and Why It’s Important

Let me get this out of the way right away: I love Descendants. I love DCOMs, I always have, and I love musical DCOMs even more. High School Musical and its sequels were my whole life growing up, and I can sing every word of every Camp Rock 2 song right now from memory (even though I didn’t like Camp Rock 1; don’t hate me.) But what I love even more than musical DCOMs is Disney Movies. Aladdin, Mulan, Hercules, these are some of my favorite movies from growing up, so combining Disney Movies with Disney Channel Original Movie/Musical? The most galaxy-brained idea imaginable from my point of view.

BUT.

I have a problem with the writing in Descendants. More specifically, I have a problem with Mal.

Quite frankly, I just don’t like Mal. I think she’s mean, and I think the movies would be better off if she wasn’t in them. If I completely turn my brain off and absorb the story the way I’m sure the writers want me to I could be fine with her, but the second I begin to think about any of her actions beyond the surface or the implications of those actions I remember why I don’t like her. I didn’t like her in the first movie, and that feeling has only grown exponentially with the release of every moment. All of that culminated in D3, where my Mal-hate has reached its peak. It has bubbled over, and I must release it somehow.

So what am I going to do with that? I’m going to write about it. Why? Mostly because my brother wouldn’t listen to me complain/rant about it and I had to put these emotions somewhere. Let’s do this.

DISCLAIMER(S)

1. This is literally a giant anti-Mal hate post. I’m going to try to keep this as even and fair as I can, but I’m not going to pretend like this is an unbiased assessment. If you are a Mal stan, this is the part when you click away.

2. I am by no means a literary or film analyst. I am technically a “writer”, but that’s about all the credentials I can provide. If you’re looking for actual academic discussion, you are going to be sorely disappointed.

3. This has nothing to do with Dove Cameron. I actually like Dove, I think she’s a talented actress and singer (rapping and dancing notwithstanding). I mean, I watched every single episode of Liv and Maddie when I was way past too old for that to be acceptable. Dove Cameron is probably a fine human being, I really appreciated what she said about the addition of politics into the Descendants universe, and I actually like her in the role, I just wish I liked the role itself. But I don’t want anyone to take this as an attack on her as a person or anything.

4. I read the Isle of the Lost when it first came out like a thousand years ago, and the Wikipedia synopsis for Rise of the Isle of the Lost. I also watched the first three or four episodes of Wicked World and I can’t remember a single thing that happened in them. With that said, this essay is ONLY about the movies. The movies should be (and are, I believe) able to stand on their own, and at this point, I’m not even sure if the tie-ins are considered canon anymore. With that said, there are some things from the tie-ins that are pretty much common knowledge among fandoms (Uma and Mal didn’t get along on the Isle because Mal was kind of a bully, the VKs’ parents were abusive, etc) that probably bled into this essay. If there’s something I wrote about that has been rendered noncanon by the movies please let me know. On the same track, please don’t comment saying that something from Wicked World explained/justified/whatever else a point that I make, because it’s not going to change my argument.

5. This is not, like, me passing judgment on Mal stans. I’m not saying that Mal stans are bad or dumb or whatever for liking her character. I don’t really expect this to change anyone’s mind about stanning Mal either. This is purely a cathartic exercise for myself that I decided to inflict on the world for some reason.

Okay, I think that’s about it. If you have any thoughts at all on this, please come talk to me about it! Agree, disagree, love it, hate it, I literally just want to talk to other descendants fans. Y’all ready to do this? I give you…

Part 1: Mal Alone

Let’s look at the series of actions and the motivations behind them for Mal’s character.

Descendants 1

Mal is chosen to go to Auradon; she is very reluctant.

Her mother demands that she steal the fairy godmother’s wand, Mal agrees.

Mal convinces the others to help her steal the wand; they break into the museum but fail to retrieve it.

Mal learns that positioning herself as Ben’s girlfriend will give her the best shot at retrieving the wand, she spells Ben into falling in love with her.

As all this is happening, Mal is gaining popularity at school for her ability to provide magically beautiful hairstyles.

On their first date, Mal begins to have actual feelings for Ben, she considers releasing him from the spell.

Audrey, her grandmother, and the other AKs bully Mal and the rest of the VKs, and Mal regains her faith in the plan. She also takes away Jane’s magical hair.

Mal concedes from the plan enough to decide to release Ben from the spell, but only after the coronation.

Mal considers stealing the wand; before she gets the chance, Jane does so and accidentally opens the barrier.

Mal takes the wand back from Jane to give to her mother, Ben convinces her not to.

Mal defeats her mother and remains by Ben’s side in Auradon.

Notice a theme here? Mal is characterized by two things, and essentially two things only: her ambition and her survivalist spirit. I should clarify that when I say ambition, I don’t necessarily mean in the traditional, politically power-hungry sense. Mal is an opportunist. Every decision she makes is done with the intention of securing a position for herself, and usually a high-ranking position.

She rules the island before coming to Auradon and is reluctant to leave that position of power when given the opportunity. When she arrives at Auradon, she becomes the school’s magically appointed hairstylist, first to seduce information out of Jane, and then because it gains her popularity within the school. Notice how as soon as this popularity is taken out of the equation, Mal disappears all of the beautiful hairstyles? Mal wasn’t sharing her magic for any kind, selfless reason, but because it could get her something, and as soon as she stopped being able to get something, she took them away.

Mal also finesses her way into the already-occupied spot of the second most powerful person in the kingdom. From there every decision she makes is an attempt to keep that spot. It could be argued that Mal displayed some selfless impulse when she decided to free Ben from her love spell, but even this comes second to herself. She tells him explicitly that the cupcake is for “later”, as in, after the coronation and after she and her mother have already taken over, and when he eats a bit anyway, she yells “No!” at him. Maybe she does feel something for Ben, but he still clearly comes second to herself.

Then in the finale, she chooses good, not because it’s the right thing to do, but because it “makes her happy”. Although this movie was marketed as “villain kids learning to be good,” among other things, Mal never actually learned this lesson. She is okay playing second fiddle to her mother for a little bit, but her pivotal moment of growth is ultimately her deciding that she’d rather be Ben’s number two, and there she remains.

Don’t believe me? Let’s look at the second movie.

Mal opens the movie trying to fit herself into the perfect princess/girlfriend role, which makes her unhappy.

On a date with Ben, she gets caught using magic and attempts to spell him into forgetting their argument.

Mal runs off from her date and away to the Isle. Once there, she immediately reverts to her villain self, even going so far as to dye her hair in a stunning bit of Disney subtlety.

While there, Uma, her old rival, kidnaps her boyfriend. She works to get him back but maintains that she will be staying on the Isle after he is safe.

Mal and Evie sing a beautiful song about how much they mean to each other, but it does not change her mind.

During the battle, Mal (apparently) changes her mind. She returns to the Isle with Ben and her friends but seems unhappy about it.

At the coronation, Mal again slips into her “perfect” persona, shown by her wearing Auradon’s colors.

Uma arrives at the coronation, having spelled Ben into falling in love with her. Mal is heartbroken and tries to leave.

She is stopped by Jane revealing Ben’s coronation gift to her, a stained-glass picture of her in her Isle colors.

Mal true-love’s-kisses Ben awake. She turns into a dragon and fights Uma. When she turns back, she is dressed in the gown depicted in the picture.

In this movie, too, Mal makes every decision with the intention of securing her personal standing. She dislikes being forced to play a part at the beginning of the movie, but she is willing to put up with it if it means getting to stay Ben’s girlfriend, even to the point of spelling her boyfriend who she claims to love. When she believes for a second that that option could be lost to her, she immediately retreats to the Isle, where she is guaranteed some measure of power.

When she arrives, however, she finds that someone has usurped her position on the Isle, and it is Uma, her old rival. When she discovers that Uma has kidnapped Ben, she tries everything to get him back. This, it could be said is an altruistic act, done out of love for another person, but even this is tarnished because she clearly does not love Ben enough to be with him. She makes that very clear over and over again. She even sings a whole song about how much she loves Evie but again, not enough to leave her position of power.

So if it’s not love, why else would she go through so much trouble to rescue Ben? Simple: she cannot allow her rival to get a leg up on her. Mal spends the rest of the movie after she discovers Uma is involved working to publicly undermine her. Why else would she agree to an arm-wrestling match of all things in front of Uma’s entire crew? When they leave the isle after rescuing Ben, Mal doesn’t end up with them because she changes her mind about Ben or Evie, but to prevent Uma from escaping after her. For two straight movies now, Mal has refused to make even a single unselfish decision.

Let’s move on to Descendants 3, arguably the worst offender.

Mal opens the movie helping the other four VKs announce the new arrivals into Auradon.

She is next shown keeping an eye out for Uma, the only other person who poses a threat to her.

Ben proposes to her, securing her position as Queen of Auradon.

Mal, Ben, and the other VKs return to the Isle to pick up the chosen children, but as they are leaving, Hades almost escapes.

When Hades, her estranged father, and Uma, her bitter rival, both appear to pose a threat, Mal suggests that they close the barrier permanently and prevent any other VKs from crossing over.

She lies to Evie about her role in the closing of the barrier to preserve their friendship.

When Mal discovers that Audrey, her original bully, poses a danger to Auradon, and herself specifically, she returns to the Isle to beg her father for help in the form of a magical ember.

On the way back, they are stopped by the Sea Three, who steal the ember from her. In exchange for the ember and their help with Audrey, Mal agrees to release all the children from the Isle, a promise she does not intend to keep.

Back in Auradon, Mal and Uma butt heads over leadership of their uneasy alliance. When Uma suggests they split up and go check Audrey’s cottage, Mal scoffs at this idea.

When they ultimately end up going with Uma’s plan and finding Audrey’s diary as a result, Mal thanks her for her contribution.

Evie is anxious about whether true love’s kiss will work on Doug. She sings a song about it, and Mal and Uma are seen behind her, encouraging her and providing backup vocals.

Audrey attempts to trap them inside the cottage, and Mal and Uma are forced to work together to free themselves.

At the Fairy Cottage, Mal admits that it was her idea to close the barrier permanently and that she still intends to go along with this plan.

Mal’s group implodes, and she sings a song about how she intends to get her happy ending.

Mal finds Audrey and attempts to battle her as a dragon. Uma, on the ground, forgives her for some reason. They combine magic and defeat Audrey, who goes into a coma.

Mal has her father temporarily escorted from the Isle so that he can wake Audrey. They reconcile.

Mal’s friends forgive her for the closing of the barrier, even the Sea Three, who apparently have no problem with returning to the Isle.

Before an audience of Auradon citizens, Mal announces her plan to close the barrier permanently. She finishes by saying that she cannot be the Queen of Auradon, she has to be Queen of both (the Isle and Auradon).

They take down the barrier and Mal is reunited with her father. At the end of the movie, the four original VKs return to the Isle to visit their parents.

Descendants 3 is interesting because it combines some of Mal’s most self-serving actions with her only three altruistic ones. Halfway through the movie, Uma makes a suggestion about how to find Audrey. Although Mal initially ignores her, the idea proves to be a good one, and Mal thanks her for her idea. This was Mal’s first entirely selfless action in three movies, which I underlined above because it is so significant.

A short while later, Evie is shown angsting about whether she and Doug are really True Love through song. In the background, Mal and Uma support her, both emotionally and through backup vocal “do-waps.” This is notable because it is the first time Mal is ever seen supporting one of her so-called friends, but we’ll get to that later.

The third and final act, also underlined above, is even more significant. Mal calls her estranged and neglectful father from the Isle to wake Audrey from her coma. This is where I must truly give Mal credit. Coming face to face with her abusive (yes, neglect is a form of abuse) father in order to help a person who bullied her and became a villain to hurt her specifically is a truly selfless action. It must have been hard for her to face him again so soon after he told her “You’re stronger with those daddy issues” (yuck). Furthermore, it would have been easy for her to leave Audrey in her coma, as Audrey had never been kind to her. This action required actual sacrifice and was done for no personal gain on Mal’s part, which makes it basically the best thing she’s ever done. Unfortunately, this scene arrives on the tail of a movie dedicated to showcasing Mal’s worst impulses at increasingly higher levels.

For the rest of the movie, Mal’s modus operandi of doing everything possible to secure her own position is in full effect. It is no coincidence that the moment she has the most to lose (Her position as Queen of Auradon at the hands of her father and her biggest rival) is the moment she makes her most callous and self-serving decision yet: to close the barrier permanently, essentially dooming all of the children still on the Island to a lifetime of poverty and oppression. Even within a small, unstable group of the original VKs + the Sea Three (and Celia I guess), Mal cannot bear not being the one in charge, arguing with Uma at every turn. And when her supposed best friends and her fiance are turned to stone, does she show any sadness for them at all? Of course not. She sings a Broadway song about how determined she is to find her own happy ending.

This, of course, culminates at the end of the movie, when Mal decides they should bring down the barrier. As an aside, bringing down the barrier is a terrible idea, because releasing all of the actual villains on the families of the heroes whose lives they attempted to ruin is… unwise, but I digress. On paper, this should also be considered a selfless act, but of course, Mal undermines it by claiming that she cannot be Queen of Auradon, she “must be the queen of the Isle too.” Her final act is synonymous with her biggest bid for power yet, and unbelievably, it works. Thus, Mal ends the third movie the same way she started the first, vying for power at the expense of Auradon (and basically everyone else.)

Mal is an incredibly selfish character. She makes three total noble decisions over three movies, and they all happen in the final installment. Amazingly, I don’t think this makes her a bad character, nor do I think this is bad writing on the part of the screenwriters. What makes this bad is the way her actions and “arc” are framed.

Self-serving protagonists can work. Look at Kuzco from The Emperor’s New Groove, or Rebecca in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, or even Bojack of Bojack Horseman (disclaimer, I have not seen CxGF or Bojack Horseman, these comparisons are based on my surface-level understanding of these shows and a cursory skim of Tvtropes. Y’all are welcome to tell me why I’m wrong about this.) The difference is, if you want your audience to root for these self-serving main characters, you have to show them going through some sort of growth or arc to become more selfless, particularly if you are writing a DCOM about the merits of being good. But unfortunately, this is only the beginning of the problems with Mal’s character.

#Disney's Descendants #descendants #Descendants 2 #descendants 3 #anti mal #anti mal bertha #anti bal #uma descendants #uma daughter of ursula #uma deserves better #audrey descendants #audrey deserves better #evie grimhilde #raetalks

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hd-wireless · 5 years

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🎶H/D Wireless Reveals Masterpost! 🎶

📻🎶 H/D Wireless 2019 - Drum Roll Please!

🎵 Wireless wished upon a star Creators came from near and far Fics and art were made with love And dreams came true 🎵

🎤 Welcome to the final show of H/D Wireless 2019!

Today is the day the magic ends, we're casting Revelio, making our participants finally visible!

Thank you to everyone who has spent the last few weeks with us! It was a ride! We got to see Draco answer fanmail, watch a relationship grow just like a tiny potted plant, saw Harry as Aladdin, travelled through time, and so much more! Thank you to our fantastic artists and authors, without your creative minds fests like ours would be lost, thanks for all the love you put into your works we hope you had a blast! And thank you to everyone who flailed in the comments, everyone delivered a great work and we're glad you enjoyed them!

We had three artworks, and twenty-eight fics, which makes a total of thirty-one submissions!

And now without any further ado, may we present: The artists and authors of this year's H/D Wireless!

Standing ovations for our great participants, please!

And here's the Playlist one last time!

🎵 ART

🎵 Title: Jolly Holiday (G)

Creator: @julcheninred

Song and movie: Jolly Holiday - Mary Poppins

Summary: A lovely magical date in a sidewalk chalk drawing!

📻 Title: The Sea Witch (T)

Creator: @shiftylinguini

Song and movie: Poor Unfortunate Souls - The Little Mermaid

Summary: Harry's got a problem. He knows there's one person who can help him. Well, who might help him. There'll be a price, though. The sea witch always wants something in return.

Harry thinks he's got something Draco might want.

🎵 Title: Anything your heart desires (T)

Creator: @maesterchill

Song and movie: When you wish upon a star - Pinocchio

Summary: Harry makes a wish upon a star—well, two wishes, really.

Draco only hears the first one but he makes them both come true.

🎵 FIC

🎵 Title: I dream of you, to wake [T, 13.6k]

Creator: @harryromper

Song and movie: Once Upon A Dream - Maleficent (Lana Del Rey version)

Summary: “Typically coma patients are made comfortable and left to regain consciousness in their own time," Draco points out carefully.

“Typically, yes. But when has anything about Harry been typical.” Hermione sighs, rubbing at her eye with the heel of her hand. “The Healer-in-Charge has consulted with experts at all the major wizarding hospitals. They all agree. Whatever’s happening inside of Harry’s head right now is killing him.”

Draco Malfoy is a world-renowned dream-walker, and he may be Harry Potter’s only hope.

📻 Title: remember me [T, 31k]

Creator: @hupsoonheng-blog

Song and movie: Remember Me - Coco

Summary: On a chilly day in October, Draco kisses Harry goodbye before he goes on yet another dangerous, undercover mission with the Aurors.

And then Harry doesn’t come back.

Only Draco believes that Harry isn’t dead, and pours himself into finding his husband despite his friends’ pleas to move on and grieve properly. What he finds at the end of that work, though, is not at all what he wanted.

🎵 Title: Upstaged [M, 3.4k]

Creator: @lettersbyelise

Song and movie: Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee (An Actors Life For Me) - Pinocchio

Summary: West End actor Drake O'Malley starts receiving fanmail from a (not so mysterious) stranger.

📻 Title: Love, and Other Nonsense [T, 6.4k]

Creator: @aelys-althea

Song and movie: I Won't Say (I'm In Love) - Hercules

Summary: Harry wasn't in love. No way. It wasn't even a crush, because it couldn't be. Surely.

Or so he thought until he found he couldn't stop thinking about a certain someone. Denial doesn't last for long when you've got a couple of helpful portraits to help realise the truth.

🎵 Title: Believe the very best [M, 10k]

Creator: @parkkate

Song and movie: Can You Feel The Love Tonight - The Lion King

Summary: Draco tries to convince Harry he’s the chosen one

📻 Title: Silverpoint [E, 8.8k]

Creator: @tackytigerfic

Song and movie: I See the Light - Tangled

Summary: "It seems fairly simple to you, but you know that you don't really understand love - how could you, after all? You've never known how to talk about it, but you've never had to before. Everyone you ended up loving has always understood. You've been able to show them, by fighting for them, dying for them.

That seems a bit much- after all, Malfoy just wants tea in bed and his cock in your mouth (not usually at the same time).

It's ok to love him, you reason with yourself - he doesn't have to know. No one ever has to know."

Or: How Harry Potter Fell In Love (and Realised that Draco Malfoy Loved Him Back).

🎵 Title: The Ryokan [T, 1.2k]

Creator: @ladderofyears

Song and movie: How Far I'll Go - Moana

Summary: Harry is stressed and unhappy with life in wizarding London. In an attempt to help Harry relax, Draco takes him to stay in a Ryokan, a traditional Japanese inn.

📻 Title: Dreaming Darkly [E, 39.9k]

Creator: @quicksilvermaid

Song and movie: Trust in me - Jungle Book

Summary: It's five years after the war, and Harry is not okay. He hates his job. He hates Robards. He hates Ron's promotions and Hermione's concern.

He chases oblivion in booze and weed and quick dirty fucks, but it's never enough.

Then Draco Malfoy's face comes up on the case board as a murder suspect and Harry is thrown into an investigation that will take him to dark and dangerous places and force him to question the line between dreams and reality.

🎵 Title: Of Losing Hope And Winning A War [T, 19k]

Creator: @gnarf

Song and Movie: Be Prepared - Lion King

Summary: With the Dark Lord living in the Manor and no way to escape, Draco felt lost, trapped in a nightmare.

He couldn't know things were about to change for him. But first he had to lose all of what was left of his hope.

📻 Title: Every Leaf That Unfurls, Every Petal That Blooms [T, 6.3k]

Creator: @bafflinghaze

Song and movie: So this is love - Cinderella

Summary: Draco can’t keep cacti alive, let alone flowers. None of this stops Neville Longbottom from giving him potted earth with promises of a seed nestled inside. “Don’t worry,” he assures Draco. “Harry will help.”

Which makes no sense—surely Potter’s saviour complex doesn’t extend to plants! Spoiler: it does, leading to Potter coming over to Draco’s place for dinner more frequently than ever.

Or, the one where everyone knows that Harry and Draco are dating...except them.

🎵 Title: When You Can't Find A Hero, Become One [M, 15.8k]

Creator: @meandminniemcg

Song and movie: Wherever You Are - Winnie the Pooh: Pooh's Greatest Adventure

Summary: After Harry Potter's mysterious disappearance, wizarding Britain moved on. Some moved on because they didn't care, some to keep the pieces of their lives together or to be strong for their traumatised loved ones. But Draco can’t move on. He decides to do whatever it takes to find out what happened to Potter. And Slytherins are good at doing whatever it takes.

📻 Title: Strike a Good Match [T, 11.6k]

Creator: @punk-rock-yuppie

Song and movie: Honor to Us All - Mulan

Summary: Draco tries to restore honor to the Malfoy family name. Of course Potter comes along and fucks it all up

🎵 Title: Songs in the Key of Love [E, 12.8k]

Creator: @malenkayacherepakha

Song and movie: Whistle while you work - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Summary: Harry Potter had been irritating Draco since the day they met, and Draco thought he knew every frustrating little aspect of the man after so many years of rivalry.

But then they were paired together as Auror partners, and things got so much worse.

Apparently, Harry liked to whistle while he worked, and it was the single most annoying sound Draco had ever heard in his life.

📻 Title: Wings of Salvation [T, 42.4k]

Creator: @poljupci

Song and movie: I saw a dragon - Pete's dragon

Summary: After the death of his mother, Draco is left with a summerhouse he hasn’t visited since his childhood and having signed every piece of paperwork his solicitor put before him, he sets out to visit the place that holds his happiest memories.

Upon arrival, he’s met with a surprise that will change the course of his life for better or for worse. An injured Hebridean Black is sleeping in front of the door and with hopes of a new adventure, he decides to help the dragon, naming her Salus and owling his former best friend, Harry Potter to come and help him one last time.

Through foggy days and wine-filled evenings, with friends and a small muggle town on their side, they spend their time rediscovering friendship, building love and learning what it truly means to be free.

🎵 Title: For the First Time and Forever [T, 15.9k]

Creator: @drarryruinedme7 (MarchNoGirl)

Song and movie: For the First Time in Forever - Frozen

Summary: After five years of isolation, Draco opens Malfoy Manor and himself up again to the Wizarding World. Harry Potter's reappearance is anything but expected.

A story about metaphorical fireworks, literal fireworks, and a succession of very annoying sentient pieces of furniture.

📻 Title: Poor Unfortunate Souls [E, 19.6k]

Creator: @doubleappled

Song and movie: Poor Unfortunate Souls - The Little Mermaid

Summary: Draco is a potioneer. Harry's trying to save his sex-challenged marriage. Everything is a mess, but at least there's an octopus in the lobby.

🎵 Title: He's Holding Back, He's Hiding [T, 7.4k]

Creator: @straightasdrarry (carereren)

Song and Movie: Can you feel the love tonight - Lion King

Summary: Harry and Draco are both oblivious idiots and Pansy is tired of their mutual pining.

📻 Title: What Is A True Diamond (In The Rough)? [G, 17k]

Creator: @assassinsdragons (Dexiha)

Song and movie: Prince Ali - Aladdin

Summary: Yes, this is a fic about Harry, as Aladdin, finding love in the Sultan’s successor; Prince Draco. But it is not only a story about love. It is also about freedom. And about dreams. More specifically, it’s about dreams coming true

🎵 Title: Now I see [T, 4k]

Creator: @saphira_black

Song and movie: Reflection - Mulan

Summary: The sudden realisation hit him like a sledgehammer. This was no longer his true self. He’d changed. He would always be the son of his parents, but he was no longer the puppet of the Dark Lord, a scared little boy who tried everything to survive during a war.

📻 Title: When Did You Last Let Your Heart Decide? [E, 50.3k]

Creator: @euphemisia

Song and movie: A Whole New World - Aladdin

Summary: "I can show you the world."

Our world is a broken disaster. A world separated by death and devastation.

"Shining, shimmering, splendid." is

Torn, darkened, burnt.

"I can open your eyes."

My eyes are watering from the smoke.

"Take you wonder by wonder."

Are you a wonder? Could you please, please take me somewhere?

🎵 Title: Dig A Little Deeper [T, 3.4k]

Creator: @china-nightingale

Song and movie: Dig A Little Deeper - The Princess and the Frog

Summary: Sometimes a second chance is all you need to move on with your life.

Sometimes that second chance comes with an unexpected friendship.

And sometimes that friend is a pain in the arse who is most certainly never going to be forgiven.

📻 Title: Green [G, 19.6k]

Creator: @RunningOutsideTheLines

Song and movie: Not easy being Green - Muppets

Summary: Draco is struggling to find a way to recover from the war with his life in shambles, his father in Azkaban, his house ransacked and the Magical government is struggling to recover from the loss of so many major political figures that were caught up in the war.

With the notice of the death of his Father, Draco abandons all hope of trying to fix things going forward and instead makes the final purchase necessary for his most extreme plan to fix everything that went wrong, and finds himself suddenly reliving his first year at Hogwarts.

Draco scrambles to adjust his plans only to find himself sorted into Gryffindor causing him to abandon all hope of pulling off the death of Voldemort by himself and starts reaching out to others for help as he struggles to maintain his identity as a Slytherin and Malfoy.

🎵 Title: Harry Knows Best [T, 4.2k]

Creator: @ununquadius

Song and movie: Mother Knows Best - Tangled

Summary: Harry has always lived inside the walls of Number 4 Privet Drive. His Aunt and Uncle keep him protected from the outside world, a place full of people who wouldn't hesitate to use his magical powers to their own benefit. Harry, however, dreams with a trip to London. His dreams will become true, when a blond thief enters his house in the middle of the night.

📻 Title: Unfortunate Souls [E, 11.3k]

Creator: @drarryismymuse

Song and movie: Poor Unfortunate Souls - The Little Mermaid

Summary: He was warned not to deal with the reclusive witch in Knockturn Alley as she never played fair, but when Draco finds himself backed into a corner with no way out, and his mother's life in the balance, he makes the ultimate sacrifice to ensure their safety.

🎵 Title: Don’t Keep on Pretending [G, 3.1k]

Creator: @katemarley

Song and movie: Song from Mr Ray - Finding Nemo

Summary: After a talk to fifth years about Auror training, Harry Potter stops by the Potions classroom. Chatting with Draco Malfoy about Albus and James’s performance in Potions leads to a talk about the most uncomfortable moments of their past, but maybe they can proceed from there…

📻 Title: Herbology Study #8-C [T, 3.3k]

Creator: @fantom-ftnoise

Song and movie: Pink Elephants on Parade - Dumbo

Summary: In Neville's latest Herbology experiment, Hermione finds nargles, Ron is pumpkin juice, Harry is dramatic, and Draco saves the day.

🎵 Title: The World Has Somehow Shifted (Now That I See You) [T, 27.9k]

Creator: @inevitabledrarry

Song and movie: I See The Light - Tangled

Summary: Potter’s eyes soften. “I know. That’s not what I meant. I just… Just give me a chance, yeah?”

Draco looks into Potter’s vibrant emerald eyes. He can see the hesitancy and hope. Those eyes alone could undo Draco. But why should he give Potter a chance? Potter’s the one who didn’t even respond to his owls. Not even a ‘No thank you, I have better things to do.’ So why the sudden interest now?

Draco taps his fingers on the table in a rhythm of right to left, hoping he’s making the right choice. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen?

He doesn’t expect the answer to be falling in love with Harry Potter.

A story where Harry and Draco discover themselves– and each other– in the process.

📻 Title: Falling for a Golden Boy [E, 44.6k]

Creator: @rockmarina (otpshipper98)

Song and movie: I won't say (I'm in love) - Hercules

Summary: Merlin. Why couldn’t Draco have moved to a forgotten village in the Alps? He could have turned into a shepherd, learned to make his own damn cheese and given up his damn magic. But no, he’d had to come back to his Eighth year, hadn’t he? And this was his life now. Draping himself over Potter to hear words from him that he knew Potter wouldn’t ever mean.

Great. The school year ahead of him looked simply great.

“All I know is—when I’m with you, I…” Potter, the heathen, grunted when he read the rest of his line. “Do I really need to say this?”

“What, scared of believing your own words, Scarhead?” Draco spat.

“Boys,” O’Neill warned them.

“All I—all I know is you’re the most amazing person with weak ankles that I've ever met, Meg.” Potter scowled. He was blushing again. “And when I’m with you, I feel less alone.”

Or where a drama play, a grumpy pompom and a bunch of well-intentioned friends help Draco and Harry find peace—and each other—after the war.

📣📣📣

Once again, we would like to say thank you to everyone involved in the fest! The prompters, creators, the commenters and every single one of you who supported the fest!!

Happily Ever After

Your mods

@gnarf @maesterchill @candybarrnerd

#hd wireless #hd wireless 2019 #hd wireless masterpost

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imadeletingmysocials · 4 years

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My Final Say On The Final Fantasy 7 Compilation:

DILLY DALLY SHILLY SHALLY!

Now let me say something: I don’t fully hate the remake, my feelings are at best mixed towards it, because of course it plays on my heart strings at moments, I grew up with Final Fantasy 7, I recognize and fall for the fanservicey recreations of PS1 moments, I just hate it’s tone and different atmosphere because I recognize this is obviously fanservicey everywhere you go and rarely comes as close to the original feel, more on that later of course, here’s what’s core: Final Fantasy 7 Remake at best feels like a compromise between the new and the old fans, with some old fans not really feeling 100% about it from what I gathered around many people I know. Everything I hear is “The gameplay is fun and engaging! but some shit is definitely silly and could have been cut” stuff like: the amount of filler, characters that honestly don’t add that much to the world building, and the saturday morning cartoon prolongation of certain moments which were straight to the point in the original, this is a remake where you get to see fast-paced deep cut moments turned into a slow agonizing over-redundant slow insertion of a knife, it’s like using a butter knife to cut a well done stake.

Again, a compromise with the fandom, THAT fandom, the fandom that scared everyone into playing Final Fantasy 7 which was at best a REALLY Good regular JRPG, and it really was like this weirld proto-cringe culture built around a cult, Final Fantasy 7 was this grimdark game about ecology, direct action, the over reach of corporate control on resources, spirituality and all that, and it was ALL REDUCED TO YAOI SHIPPING, I will never forgive you guys for reducing Final Fantasy 7 to that shit and it is one of the main reasons why the Compilation became this anime shit, I’m not even someone who unironically says “this is too anime” but that’s my attitude with a lot of the compilation, there is stuff in this compilation series that makes it all feel like a fucking parody of Dragon Ball Z when outside of that, the original was pretty grounded.

The original was so grounded that it’s still debated if Final Fantasy 7 is cyberpunk AT ALL if not dieselpunk, with the compilation and remake adding more cyberpunk and high-sci-fi aspects like China-like social credit, or VR, and they’re all ham-fistedly added additions to the series, it’s just them running with the idea of “I guess we’re considered cyberpunk now, better play the part and add these cliche tropes”, Final Fantasy 7′s world clearly has a class division when it comes to who has technology and who doesn’t, some technology in the FF7 world is old and some is new, but in the original it’s really just a select places that hold power towards technology: Like the facilities of Midgar or the Golden Saucer.

Adding a lot of these sci-fi aspects and prolonging on the midgar section of course adds plot holes: In the original, the Midgar section flies so fast it’s just one event after the other WHICH IS GOOD, not letting air to breathe in your structure keeps the plot tight, keeps the momentum and pacing good, allowing that air to breathe too much results in what I like to call: Nomura’s Awkward Silence. You’ve probably seen it in Kingdom Hearts quite a lot but Nomura is a shitty director who manages to make scenes so badly and prolonged that by the end any logical person would go: “...But? Wouldn’t that not work?”.

FF7′s Midgar was fast-paced cuz this is a group of eco-terrorists which are on a constant verge of being caught so they’re constantly on the move, plot hole nitpicky shit starts to happen when you don’t have a fast-pacing to keep most hooked and here are examples which aren’t helped with the new plot device additions:

Why doesn’t Tifa confront Cloud’s past since they now have a lot of time to catch up

Why would a terrorist group just... Hire someone and let them stay in a normal ass

Why is Avalanche just chilling around the sectors when they all live in a mass surveillance state, no really adding that mass surveillance plot device really makes everything fall apart, in the original SHINRA just IMMEDIATELY after the first bombing bombs sector 7 with absolutely no-restraint, them seeing AVALANCHE bomb one of their reactors makes them go: “Oh we can kill them all in one swell swoop and put the blame on them no problem we just giving them a false means of comfort” and the new bombing of Sector 7 REALLY does showcase my annoyance with all of the minor changes that were fine and better in the original: This is also best exemplified by how reno in the original just presses the button and is done with it but the remake prolongs this scene so much, that RENO has to fight you first??? Even if he is literally facing the fucking button??? cuz ANIME FIGHT! and then they make RUDE press the button when before they developed him as “somewhat nice guy” which only clashes even worse with the fact that he was the one who presses a button to SUPPOSEDLY kill an entire sector, well I say supposedly cuz now, there is no weight in that, Barrett doesn’t shoot the fallen sector’s walls in anger and (that’s what motivates him to go to Shinra once and for all) because actual stakes? what are that? No, everyone evacuated this time and the new NPCs are all fine :)

Throughout the whole game, they play up characters who are minor in the original but are FULL BIG FUCKIN IDOLS in the remake now, and as a result, the “bad guys who become good guys as the game on” HAVE TO HAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IMMEDIATELY. Fuck pacing! We need to show that the HEROES HAVE A CONSCIOUSNESS NOW! and STILL MAKE THEM DO EVIL THINGS. Like what is the point in developing your villains and showing they have a conciseness if they are still going to do bad things? In FF7 the only start developing a consciousness AFTER the bad things, like ff7 remake makes Dude somewhat decent and showcases Reeves as a nice person but they still did evil things regardless so it’s uselesss. Now I won’t say FF7 doesn’t do this and shows Reeves has his gripes but it doesn’t go

Again, BARRET HAS A FUCKING GUN FOR AN ARM, HE SHOULDN’T BE OUT IN THE PUBLIC... AT ALL, HE SIGNED HIS DEATH WARRANT WHEN HE GAVE HIMSELF THAT ARM AND DEDICATED HIMSELF TO THE CAUSE, THIS IS WHY HE ALWAYS LIVES ON THE MOVE AND ALWAYS HIDING.

Again, why did they introduce the idea of everything being a mass surveillance state if Cloud, Tifa and Barret can literally storm Shinra’s headquarters and Shinra workers are just... chilling in the lobby, it’s all empty, but in the original you had a somewhat sense of danger and the only way to progress was through going through specific corridors in a certain order or tricking Shinra workers.

Every single time the dementors appear.

Examples of the anime-transformation of the remake and making everything a lot harder to not take seriously are:

Scarlet being a comical dominatrix who like a cartoon character smacks the character when in the original she was truly like a serious fucking villain.

Aeris (or Aerith, not sure anymore) pretty much becoming a Disney Princess

Every single villain going to saturday morning cartoon levels of overreduncancy.

And of course I hate this shit, I have a connection with the original you know, if it wasn’t called a remake or if it didn’t touch the original maybe I wouldn’t have thought otherwise but because of the fact that it goes out to make these ridiculous changes feels like some sort of insult in a way. Minor inconveniences start to become major inconveniences and Final Fantasy 7′s remake is CHOCK FULL of it.

It’s the weirdest comparison I know, but the one I feel still works is: You know how Disney movies would a TV adaption? Like how Disney’s Hercules had a Hercules TV show and it went on to develop background characters you barely knew, while basically overly expanding on that interlude of the movie? Well that’s what Final Fantasy VII remake feels like, some even said that this remake feels like as if they made a MCU movie series based on the original, honestly I don’t know which one is worse, sounds pretty bad which ever way you put it.

A controversial opinion but one that never the less is true is that: Midgar was not supposed to be ANYTHING BUT A SET UP, it was just there for the sake of world building, now I guess it’s just me and a couple of friends but we aren’t part of the gang of “I didn’t play Final Fantasy 7 pass Midgar” which apparently is a thing, it goes as far as cultural video game stereotype, I’m one of the few people who played passed Midgar, and i’m one of the few people who prefer the game past that section as everything when the world begins to open starts to build on that set up Midgar introduced, like Midgar isn’t everything FF7 has to offer, it’s just the setup, Midgar is the BIG BAD, but you need to recgonize how Midgar is pretty much a plot device at best and what is more important is the villages of the planet and how each are affected by Midgar’s reach and corruption, like Red Canyon, small villages with rocket projects or Wutai (which the Compilation LOVES to set up as the other super-power against Midgar, rather than letting Midgar be the only superpower like in the original I guess).

Midgar is structured like this fast-paced action film, beat by beat, in fact following the same structural high points of an action movie. Midgar was always designed to be a 2 hour experience, like a fun roller coaster ride or romp, it wasn’t meant to be the WHOLE GAME or that prolonged.

And a lot of those things will be gone and sacrificed in the remake: For example, you cannot recreate well-placed shots and angles in the remake cuz it doesn’t have pre-background sets like the original. In doing so, you sacrifice shit and make choices LIKE THIS:

Rather than the slow-panning of the shot that results in this iconic scene:

I want to be clear here: I do not hate Final Fantasy 7 remake for it’s lack of subtlety, whenever Final Fantasy 7′s remake has the chance to be political and preachy about it, that is actually where it expands VERY well on the original (unlike the whole fucking Compilation shit or the annoying quirky NPCs they introduce which honestly don’t add much and kinda remove and detach from what’s kinda important at the matter, again the pacing fucking sucks), the original works as it is with short burst of dialog without dwelling on actual political theory (It can get annoying of course for example: Barrett in the remake every 10 seconds talks about how he wants to save the planet, while Barrett in the original doesn’t need to be that repetitive, in fact I think you can count every time in the remake he says “SAVE THE PLANET” almost as much “DARKNESS” is said in Kingdom hearts... NOMURA!!!), you know keeping it simple for all of the teenagers playing it in final fantasy 7, vague enough to be accessible.

I could go on about all of those weird changes in the remake which could have been left as it is, like almost every single side-mission, I don’t know of a single side-mission in FF7 I left thinking “Wow that was really worthwhile, thought provoking and added quite a lot to the world building!” cuz guess what, it didn’t. The children don’t add much like we get it children are not immune to SOLDIER propaganda (Cloud is literally the personification of this did we really need this), the angel of the slums shows stealing from the rich is good (like the entire game is about killing corporate people and despite Barrett feeling a lil bit remorse in his methods he never feels remorse in killing anyone related to SHINRA), like oh thanks for showcasing to me that thieves can be good people like the child I am. These are all engineered to make people who didn’t get the point in ff7, messages which feel are for children, which I guess a lot of gamers are, the dumbification of video games as a whole angers me but that’s a completely different subject, you ever notice how characters in the past didn’t talk about every single action they should be performing but every game after 2010 has to be annoying about that?

I still have mixed feelings on FF7R. Little things that are lil fanservice can be nice, but then the final fantasy 7 remake just throws the cake onto the ground as soon as it seems tasty, the best example of this would be the cutscene showing Shinra’s plan in Shinra’s headquarters, it is an EXCELLENT COMPLIMENT to the original, like the original has about the same amazing world building set up of how 2000 years ago FF7′s world was just a regular Final Fantasy world! Final Fantasy 7 is special because of that this particular world building, and compliments to that realism and tone ARE GREAT! Those are moments in which the tone of the game SHINE! It makes you go “Aw that was a nice recreation and it complimented the game fine” but then Sephiroth. You know... That one villain who isn’t supposed to be appearing every single second in the original but since the pacing is dogshit I guess he’s basically become Cloud’s little one winged angel on his shoulder that has to appear IN EVERY cutscene, I really do hate this mother fucker. I hate that Sephiroth bitch, I hate that he became more of an mascot for FF7 to the point it overshadows his role as just a pawn of a more deeper evil (JENOVA) sephiroth was nothing but the representation of soldier exploitation going wrong, and how that symbolically is connected to the end of the world and an evil very alien. Sephiroth was never supposed to be this actual character, in fact he stopped being a character when... you know.

Somehow Palmer can see Sephiroth but that makes 0 sense and is the dumbest fucking addition... Aren’t only people with Mako supposed to see him? And the idea is that Sephiroth can only gain physical form through the bodies of SOLDIERs cuz he’s more of a virus now. But you know... Sephy-kun is a star now! SO HE NEEDS TO SHOW UP EVERY FUCKING SECOND and PRACTICALLY SPOIL THE WHOLE ORIGINAL GAME, what clearer message of “we hope you played the original or else” than all of those forced flashbacks, and how funny that the original demon of FF7remake was straight forward and didn’t include sephiroth flashback but as soon as the game released they put them in! HM, I WONDER. I WONDER. That really does feel like a “haha you actually bought the game! sucker.”

But by that point I’ve basically become that fan that goes “you should read the book, I don’t like it that in the movie they did all of these little changes”, but truth be told Final Fantasy 7 remake turned me into that kinda person. Again: It doesn’t help that this is literally not a medium conversion, but a full on re-writting from the people who worked, and I don’t care what Nomura considers a “remake”, this makes the original story flow a lot worse.

“You fuckers asked for it! So here it is” says Square Enix when people were angry that FF7 was being re-released over and over again, teased with tech demos since the PS3 era! Truth be told, I was always on the fence for a Final Fantasy 7 remake, I was fine with the original, I cannot speak for everyone else but on my side it was just people going “I REALLY FUCKING HOPE THIS ISN’T COMPILATION BULLSHIT“ AND hahah AHAHAHAH well

Final Fantasy 7 remake’s structure is... AMAZINGLY WELL PUT WHEN YOU START TO SEE THAT THE LONGER IT GOES, THE MORE IT STARTS TO STRAY AWAY FROM GOD’S LIGHT, In fact I think that’s brilliant, it’s like a well made bad prank, you get to see people in real time react to this shit and it’s almost a universal experience so props to the designers for managing to do that, at first it starts building your immunity with like dementors and you’re like “why the fuck did they add this? oh well i guess I’ll just keep going” but then by the end of the game throws shit at the fan and some people are devoted to those changes saying “ah fuck it” or you know: This is dumb. I’d say that 35% of Final Fantasy 7′s remake’s content compliments the original and 65% is modern Square Enix’s shenanigans.

The rest of this thread is pretty funny also:

This might sound controversial but: When your shit is edited in the editing room, maybe, just maybe, there’s a reason it was edited out. Final Fantasty 7 Remake has this attitude of “WE GOTTA ADD EVERY SINGLE DELETED CONTENT WE COULDN’T HAVE PUT IN THE ORIGINAL, WE HAVE THAT POWER NOW TO GET SILLAY!” which is often the downfall of a lot of video games and their artistic integrity, it’s a constant thing and I’m sure I won’t be visiting it for the last time: video game directors are often these egoistical people who are left like children with this amount of power to just do dumb shit and because video games are an exceptional quirky medium, people just let bad writing and anime shit fly, I mean this is what I have always meant by video games as a medium being like b-movies and kitsch at best, you rarely see this medium be high art.

I think the best example of this is comparing to the movie medium, most importantly: George Lucas, George Lucas was a guy who because of a lot of editors their story became something that even overshadowed themselves, have you seen Star Wars without an editor? It sucks. This showcase should have killed the auteur but in the industry sometimes this is not the case, what results of that is a huge inflation of one’s ego and they start getting more and more power to direct stuff in whatever way they see fit!

youtube

The Video game medium has allowed the auteur theory to test it’s limits, I don’t know if it’s fair to blame everything on the black sheep Nomura (I mean Motomu Toriyama is as much to blame here, if not even worse, this is the guy who directed X-2, I’m sure if anything he might have done more harm) it is kinda hard to detach the directors from the product however, especially in this case when a lot of people’s gripes come from unnecessary filler, tone, and terrible pacing. That’s kind of all the directors job you know?

I detest the idea that a good tone is only set by the standards of western cinema or the soviet montage standards. You can accomplish a good and serious tone by a lot of means, it doesn’t need to be 100% serious, but I don’t want it to become as ridiculous or redundant as a low-budget shonen anime. It doesn’t help FF7 Remake case because it doesn’t go out to compliment FF7 that well. It doesn’t matter what Nomura thinks a “remake’ entitles, because regardless, the changes in this will forever be compared to the original, FF7 remake does not exist in a vacuum, it isn’t a stand-alone original game, it just feels like a weird adaptation that doesn’t fair well to the original plot structure.

Which is where I’ll start to bring this long commentary to a halt! If Nomura himself admits that FF7′s Remake is Final Fantasy VII Compilation Part 5 well all I have to say, and what has and will always be my stance of this so called “compilation” is:

The compilation of final fantasy 7 has always been over redundant filler. It’s all either so bad it’s good or so fanservicey it’s obnoxious. Every single compilation is a mixed bowl of “This is actually cool” and “this is just dumb and unnecessary”. The novels, the side-entries on flip phones, they all feel as if they come from a smug aura of “Clearly you didn’t get the plot from one game alone so we clearly have to expand on it so we can get EXTRA MONEY!”

Oh and the whole one winged angel shit (now a plot device thanks to crisis core) and the NOMURA idea of “you gotta play all of the entries to understand this shit” fucking sucks man!

Nomura games are so close to being so good, but there’s always that fucking CRINGE that appears, and this kind of shit makes me actually sincerely use the word “cringe”, cloud might as well pull a fucking keyblade in which LIGHTNING from Final Fantasy 13 is there saying how she is THE BEST CHARACTER EVER MADE whatever! Consistency and tone is dead, we get it.

Every single sequel to Final Fantasy 7 is just cashing in on the fame and it’s unnecessary, you can enjoy FF7 on it’s own. It’s feeling a LOT, A LOT like Disney’s approach to Star Wars, you didn’t have to do all of this for Star War’s simple premise. I feel like that ungrateful child who got a shitty present: You really shouldn’t have.

I mean don't get me wrong, the original has that pre-famous Square Enix comic relief, and the only time you ever got that kind of subtle comic relief again was in Final Fantasy 9, the last call-back to the series being traditional. I think it's impossible to recreate Final Fantasy 7 in the style and tone it was created in 1997, because that WAS LITERALLY before Square Enix became famous and that fame went up to their head.

That's like expecting a “Final Fantasy 6″-type game to not be made by an indie developer or a small dev team today, it's not gonna happen. An AAA developer just does not have the soul to do that today. Many people were like “What if they just did the same thing as the game but with jus priddy graphics” well given the crusty JPEG skyboxes in the remake they couldn’t have even concentrated on that alone it seems, also my answer to that is: of course they’re gonna do that. Square Enix has just enough of an ego to not let shit be simple.

I mean it’s a given right, a lot of people were angry about Chrono Cross because it wasn’t quite Chrono Trigger either (at this point Square Enix was already transitioning into Final Fantasy 8-stuff and going all over the place in terms of quality, with multiple teams developing multiple games, trying to catch the high of Final Fantasy 7, but not really seeing what FF7 did to hook so many people, namely on how FF7 is the most serious and accessible entry in the whole series that isn’t Final Fantasy 6 (although Final Fantasy 6 wasn’t as cinematic which the 90s video games loved the opportunity with the gift OF 3D!).

Also:

Bull fucking shit, I am not convinced you aren’t gonna plaster Sephy-kun flashbacks at every single moment like you have, like if you really were to do a beat per beat Final Fantasy 7 remake after that that’s just so funny.

"OH WE JUST FUCKING SPOILED THE WHOLE GAME IN THE FIRST ACT"

"BUT THE REST OF IT WILL BE NORMAL'

Like... How? Will you lower the budget for the next parts of the remake. That would legit be kinda funny, "we just wanted to make midgar really long and weird like that, thats all, the rest will be 100% a remake! The alternative universe ghosts won’t come this time.” I just cannot believe that until I see it.

Uh what should I end this long rant with uhhhh...

#Final Fantasy VII #Final Fantasy #Tetsuya Nomura #Final Fantasy VII Remake #FF7 #Final Fantasy 7 #Motomu Toriyama #long post

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shastelly · 5 years

Text

Face the Music - March Klance Prompts from MonthlyKlance - Day 28

You mean it’s not March...I didn't notice...explains the 90 degree weather...anyway enjoy this cheesefest

"Keith, please tell me you didn't do it." Hunk begged.

"Do what?" Keith looked up from his space oatmeal at Hunk's horrified face.

"You know." Hunk accused.

"No, I don't. That's why I asked." Keith frowned, puzzled.

Pidge snorted as she walked through the door to the dining area to find the two, across the table from each other, glaring, while they ate.

"So, what'd Keith do?" She asked, as she flopped down.

"You'll see." Hunk growled ominously.

"I didn't think he'd really try it. I mean there is no way he can keep it up. Right?" Keith looked over at Pidge appealing for her help.

"Keep what up?" Pidge narrowed her eyes.

"Keith," Hunk spat his name, "bet Lance that he couldn't sing Disney songs all day - like literally from when he woke up to when he goes to bed."

"YOU WHAT?!" Pidge drew back in horror.

Keith cringed, "So, he can do it?"

"He could probably do it for longer if he wouldn't lose his voice." Hunk snapped. "He knows like every Disney song from every Disney movie ever."

At that moment the paladin in question breezed through the doorway singing, "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Zip-a-dee-ay! My oh my, what a wonderful day!" He sat down next to Keith and proceeded to serenade them for the next several minutes.

"Lance, please eat something,” Hunk requested kindly as Lance was in the middle of singing something about being a cat.

Lance shook his head.

"Lance, you have to stop to eat. Keith, tell him he can stop to eat!" Hunk demanded.

"Nope. No breaks, that was part of the bet." Keith crossed his arms and frowned. There was no way that Lance was winning this bet, it was too hard.

Lance just shrugged and proceeded to a rousing rendition of “Be Our Guest”.

"What did you bet?" Pidge asked morbidly curious and considering getting cotton to stuff in her ears. It wasn't that Lance was a bad singer or that she didn't like Disney, just all day was going to be too much.

"If he loses, he takes pod cleaning duty for the next month." Keith smiled to himself knowing he was going to get out of this chore that no one enjoyed.

"Who gets pod cleaning duty?" Shiro asked sharply as he walked in.

"Uh…hi Shiro." Keith looked a little nervous.

"Lance and Keith have a bet." Hunk filled him in.

"Lance bet me he could sing Disney songs all day without stopping." Keith nodded. "There is no way he can do that, so I called him on it."

Shiro blinked a couple of times and then sighed, "And if he loses, he's supposed to clean the pods, what if you lose?"

"Won't happen." Keith stated.

"It will." Hunk stated just as confident.

"You are so going to lose," Pidge giggled.

"Okay, but if at any point this interferes with training or we have an emergency I am calling it off, clear?" Shiro rubbed the bridge of his nose. He didn’t want to stop their rivalry or flirting or whatever they were calling it today, as long as it didn't put anyone in danger or interrupt their work.

Training that morning to the soundtrack from Mulan and Hercules was almost amusing. Lance would at least sing quietly and seemed to be paying attention when Shiro gave out the instructions. If anything, his hand to hand movements were improved, though the singing was impacting his long-range shooting and stamina, at least during the long or high notes. Shiro let it go as minor. He'd never seen Lance look quite so determined and Keith was starting to look nervous. Shiro secretly thought Keith underestimated Lance too much and it would do him good to lose something easy like this to remind him that Lance usually backed up his boosts with action.

Coran and Allura were mesmerized with the songs they had never heard before and had joined them in the training room to listen and ask questions about the stories the songs were from.

At lunch when Lance stood at the head of the table and started singing “Candle on the Water”, Shiro found himself taking his bowl of food goo and making excuses to leave. He couldn't help but think of Adam and well, tearing up in front of the team wasn't high on his list; he may be a big sap, but he was still their leader. Apparently Allura had no such concerns because she had tears running down her face when Shiro got back and Lance was in the middle of “You'll be in My Heart” and Pidge was whispering the relevant story points.

Apparently singing “It's a Small World After All” is a highly effective way of getting Keith annoyed and off guard. Lance beat him twice in hand to hand combat signing that annoying little ditty that was never going to leave Hunk's brain and Hunk was glaring at Keith again. Pidge was strangely quiet during training until Shiro discovered and ordered her to remove the cotton from her ears. She instead began calling out requests for the most annoying Disney songs she could think of and, of course, a grinning Lance played right along. Shiro pointed out that the team needed to learn to work through distractions, even annoying songs.

Lance was currently going through some of the less politically correct songs from Lady and the Tramp and Peter Pan. Then it was “Heigh-Ho” and “I Got No Strings” and “I Just Can't Wait To Be King”. Lance actually followed Shiro around to sing “Following the Leader”.

Keith sighed as he turned the com off in Red. They were doing flight drills and Lance was singing “Let's Go Fly A Kite”. He was starting to get concerned that he might actually lose this bet. It had started out as a simple conversation about movies. Lance liked movies, lots of movies, and he liked to tell Keith about them. Keith had not seen a lot of movies. It wasn't his dad's thing and then it’s not like his foster families took him out to movies and then at the Garrison he didn't have money to go. The few movies he had seen had been courtesy of Shiro or Adam and it wasn't that he didn't like them. He just didn't get why it was important or why Lance cared so much about them. Lance had been going over the storyline to Hercules when Keith had snapped something along the lines of, he had something better to do than listen to some kids movie.

Lance had frowned and a genuine hurt look had crossed his face before it flickered to anger. They had fought. It hadn't been a nice fight. It had been one of those, use what you know to make it hurt more, kind of fights. Lance had at some point claimed to be a movie expert and especially a Disney expert and it wasn't his fault that Keith was an uncultured pig. Keith told him Disney was overrated and so was Lance. Lance had cried out as if in pain and somehow, they had reached a discussion of Disney music and Lance's love of said music and then there was the bet.

Keith had said if Lance lost, he had to clean the pods. He knew Lance was afraid of them. He knew it. He'd talked to Lance about it before. Lance had confided his fear to him, as if it wasn't obvious every time, he came up with fifty excuses to avoid using it if he was injured. It usually took an order from Shiro to get him into one.

Keith knew Lance wouldn't want to do it. He knew it would hurt him to have to clean the pods, but he made that the bet anyway. And then Lance had to go, and one up him. He picked something Keith never would have dreamed of and to be honest he was a little terrified it was going to happen at this point. Keith was not used to this kind of fear and he didn't like it. It made him uncomfortable and an uncomfortable Keith is a cranky Keith.

It was at the evening meal when Shiro realized Lance had not stopped to eat or drink anything all day. He practically growled at the two of them.

"It was part of the bet." Keith offered shrinking back.

"And I said I would call it off if I needed to." Shiro snapped.

Lance scribbled on a piece of paper while somehow still singing “Hakuna Matata”. "Please Shiro, I don't want him to weasel out on a technicality. I'm almost there!" Lance gave Shiro his best puppy dog eyes.

"No, you need to eat and drink. I'm not sacrificing your health for this game. We trained for hours and you didn't even get a drink of water?!" Shiro turned on him.

Lance shrugged.

"Drink." Shiro ordered. Lance looked over to Keith who had his arms crossed. "He drinks and it doesn't call off the bet. He eats and it doesn't call off the bet."

Keith glared and muttered something about cheating.

Lance huffed mid song and scribbled on his paper again as he switched to “Part of Your World”. "Compromise? How about a rhythm song I can tap out while I eat and drink?"

"Fine." Keith huffed before Shiro could even force him to agree.

"Better. No more bets that involve not eating or drinking, got it?"

"Yes." Keith turned back to his food goo.

Lance nodded. As soon as his current song finished, he began tapping out “Trashing The Camp” with his hand while he gobbled his food goo and slurped down three hydration pouches.

Shiro cringed half certain that all of the food was going to make a reappearance, but Lance managed to keep it down and have it mostly swallowed before the song finished and he launched into “A Whole New World”.

While settling down on the couches after the evening meal listening to Lance sing “Can You Feel The Love Tonight,” Keith found himself cringing. It was almost over. He was man enough to admit he was going to lose at this point. Lance's voice was a little rough by now, but not "about to lose my voice" rough. By the time the others were getting ready to turn in and Lance was singing and dancing to “Let It Go,” Keith decided to just tell him it was over.

"It's the end of the day. You win." Keith muttered, despair coloring his tone.

Lance looked over at him eyes gleaming and nodded. In the spirit of the bet he continued singing all the way to his room and Keith could still hear the strains of “When You Wish Upon A Star” as the door slipped closed.

The next morning came way too soon for Keith. He barely slept a wink. It was time, as they say, to face the music. He sighed and climbed out of bed. He slipped on something comfortable and moped and pouted his way to breakfast. Lance was sitting at the table when he got there. When he saw Keith, his eyes widened and he gave him a friendly wave, before pulling out a pair of scissors and snipping them at him.

"After breakfast, okay?" Lance asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, okay." Keith's shoulders drooped even further, and he went to get his food.

"What's after breakfast?" Hunk asked eyeing the scissors.

"Keith has to pay up. He lost the bet." Lance answered.

"We still don't know what he bet. We know what you would have had to do, but not him." Pidge narrowed her eyes.

"You'll just have to wait and see." Lance offered mysteriously.

"You know my rule. I'll call it off if I feel like I need to." Shiro warned.

"I won't hurt him Shiro." Lance looked shocked that he would even suggest such a thing.

"Okay." Shiro answered warily.

After breakfast Lance ushered Keith into the common room. There was a chair sitting in the middle of the floor. Lance gestured for the others to sit on the couches and Keith flopped into the chair.

"Now. Keith agreed that if he lost the bet, he would allow me to, in front of all of you, cut his hair!" Lance finished the sentence with a dramatic draping of some kind of cape around Keith's front.

Keith's face burned bright red and he wouldn't meet anyone’s’ eyes.

"Keith, are you sure?" Shiro sighed. Everything about the Red Paladin screamed that he wanted to run away right now. He did not like being the center of attention and no matter how much Lance teased him about it, he actually liked his haircut.

"Yes. I made the bet. I'll see it through." Keith answered determined. He was not going to back out now.

"Cool." Lance produced a spray bottle, a comb, and the scissors. "I do actually cut my own hair and Hunk's so it's not like I haven't done this before. I promise no mohawks." Lance set to work. The others watched grins slowly working their way onto their faces as Keith cringed and Lance worked, tongue stuck out the side of his mouth as he concentrated.

"There. Done." Lance announced about fifteen minutes later.

Keith looked down at the hair scattered around him and wondered what Lance had done to him. Would it be super short? Would he have cut it crooked? Would it be cut like Lance's or Hunk's? He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Hey." Lance stepped into his line of sight like he'd been trying to get his attention. "Don't you want to see?" Lance pointed to a mirror set up on the other side of the room.

"I…um…yeah I guess." Keith sighed.

Lance slipped the cape from his shoulders and proceeded to cleaning up the chunks of hair from the floor. No one else in the room was saying anything. Keith looked around to each of their faces, trying to get a hint, but they all seemed carefully blank. He walked slowly to the mirror and then stood in shock at his reflection. It was still his hair cut. It was shorter, but definitely still his style, just more like it was before they got onto the castle and he'd let it grow for all these months without a trim.

"But, it's still, I mean, I still have a…?"

Lance looked over at him in amusement, "Are you admitting to having a mullet, Mullet?"

"What? No." Keith snapped back, but he couldn't keep the smile off of his face. "I just thought, I mean you always complain about it, but you didn't change it. You just trimmed it?"

"Of course, I trimmed it. Why do you think I wanted to cut it? Those split ends were awful." Lance mocked, though his eyes were softer than his words. "Besides, if I gave you a different style what would I call you? I mean, I'm too used to calling you Mullet, Mullet."

"Oh, um, well thanks." Keith gave him a soft smile in return.

#monthlyklance #monthlyklance march 2019 #klance #voltron fanfic

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pfenniged · 4 years

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tagged by @anathenma WOO GIRL <3

rules: tag 10 followers you want to get to know better

name: Lauren

gender: Female

star sign: Virgo Sun || Leo Moon || Leo Ascendent, which basically means I have the usually quiet reserved personality of an analytical, organised virgo on the fact of things, am usually the goofy, chill friend amongst my friends, and don’t like to take anyone’s shit, but if I am disrespected, I’m a sensitive six foot flower and withdraw from the world until I can get over it. xD I don’t like conflict.

height: 183cm/6 feet

age: 27 (YIKES XD)

wallpaper on my phone: (I had to check XD) A calendar of May 2020 stylistically arranged around ribbons

house: Slytherin

ever crush on a teacher: Both my parents and my uncle are teachers and consequently I knew every teacher in my school as actual human people and not ‘crushes’ growing up. So no. XD

coolest halloween costume: I went as the Starbucks logo one year when I was eight, a gigantic Lady Luck die one year with a top hat covered in poker chips and cards. I had some good ones I made: I was creative as fuck when I was 9-11 especially, and I had to be, because I was already around 5′7 and people assumed I was just some weirdo dressing up to get candy (Hearing ‘AREN’T YOU A LITTLE OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING’ at eleven CRUSHED me XD)

Favorite 90s tv show:

Okay. So there’s one’s I watched actually as a child of the 90s, and ones that were just always ON in the 90s that I ended up watching. It’s debatable whether these are actually good NOW. XD

That being said, the background ones were Saved By the Bell (ZACH MORRIS IS TRAAAAassssh~~), Boy Meets World, Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond.

As a kid, I loved the Aladdin Animated Series, The Hercules Animated Series, CHIP AND DALE RESCUE RANGERS (Which didn’t really hold up sadly but still has the best theme song of all time, fight me), and Timon and Pumbaa.

One I rarely caught but really liked was All That, The Wonder Years, Sabrina the Teenage Witch- occasionally Fresh Prince.

Out of all of these, I still have a super fond spot for Saved By the Bell, especially with the ‘Zach Morris is Trash’ series on Youtube (Seriously, go watch it. It’s fucking hilarious and basically breaks down how much of a serial killer in the making Zach Morris is XD). The clothing is ridiculous and no one really dressed like that in the early 90s outside of commercials and TV (unfortunately). Maybe one shoddy item out of the bunch. Meanwhile Saved by the Bell is like LETS PUT IT ALL ON. XD It was terrible once they got to college, but it was stupid and fun and made me feel ‘cool’ watching it because I was like three and being like, “YEAH, IT’S BRIGHT AND THESE PEOPLE ARE COOL AND I CAN FOLLOW THE PLOT. I’M MATURE.” XD It’s literally still the only one of these I actively watch now in the form of Zach Morris is Trash, so I’ll go with it. xD

Last kiss: Never had a consensual kiss. Make of that what you will. xD

Have you ever been stood up: Nope.

Favourite pair of shoes:

I have terrible plantar fasciitis from sports, so I’m a shoe snob, and have to have properly fitting/constructed shoes. It depends on what I’m doing in them, really. I got a pair of trail running shoes for trail running during COVID, but they’re not the most aesthetically pleasing. I’d say the best mixture between comfort and style are either a good ol’pair of black ankle boots with a slight heel (so I can be 6′2 and intimidate people with my height muhahahaha), or more practically on a day to day basis, I have a pair of Reeboks that are 90s-styled with pastel pink and blue triangles on the side. They’re pretty dope. xD

have you ever been to vegas: No, but my parents have. Basically, they said you tire of shopping after two days, and then you’re just stuck inside hotels and shopping malls there. If you’re not a gambler, drinker, or have a ton of money to splash out on stage shows, I don’t think it’s particularly worth going.

favorite fruit: Mango or raspberry, but they’re super-expensive in the land of Maple Syrup so I usually don’t get them any other way other than frozen in smoothies.

Favourite book:

I could never choose a favourite book. It’s literally like choosing between children. It’s my microcosmic version of Sophie’s Choice. xD Tasteless joke aside, it’d honestly depend on the occasion. There’s a huge difference between entertainment reading, literary exploits, and educating yourself through books as a whole.

My ‘plane’ book (which I’m terrible at flying, so that was a joke), as in, an easy, fun, instantly rereadable read to read on the plane when I used to have super long fifteen hour flights to Australia, was always Mario Puzo’s ‘The Godfather,’ because I also had a huge crush on Michael Corleone.

But it’s also not the ‘best’ book and literally spends an inordinate and honestly disturbing amount of time on the fact that this poor woman in the story (which thankfully in the film, it gets cut down), but the bridesmaid Sonny Corleone has sex with, and how you see his wife indicating his ‘size’?

THAT’S LITERALLY AN ENTIRE SUBPLOT OF THIS BROAD’S STORY I SHIT YOU NOT BECAUSE NOTHING IS ‘BIG’ ENOUGH FOR HER AFTER HIM AND THEN YOU FIND OUT SHE HAS A MEDICAL CONDITION AND GOOD FOR HER SHE’S ABLE TO FIND LOVE AGAIN BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MARIO PUZO XD IT WAS A LOT OKAY.

(Footnote: I also suffered through his horrific sequels because I love Michael Corleone and will take him in any form he comes in, even horrifically written Sicilian backhill exploits that were never told to us in the original book and were clearly just written because Puzo needed another pay check but I digress.)

Horrific subplots aside, I really enjoy The Godfather for its sheer pulpiness. The book is essentially what Andrew Lloyd Weber is to musicals. xD (Yes, I come with musical theatre burns. Fight me.)

In terms of a piece of literature that I think is amazingly well done? Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, or Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.

Stupidest thing you ever done:

Um, maybe when I was at Cambridge I tried to dye my roots to match the rest of my ‘blonde’ hair at the time, and it turned out bright orange? And because it’s Cambridge, they had this super-strict attendance policy, so I was literally trying not to hyperventilate because it was running close to class (which was across campus) and I was trying to find some way to remedy my hair without it falling out/ someone asking about it. So, I grabbed a toque-cap-thing despite it being literally one of the hottest summer on record in the UK (It was like 35 degrees, it was MENTAL), and had to sprint to class all the way on the other side of campus from my college dodging dodgy tourist groups blocking the sidewalk while I went. Then when I sat down inside, I had to be weirdly rude and wear my hat inside the lecture hall even though the professor was looking at me (it was a specialised program in German Literature) like, “Are you going to take that shit off?” xD THEN I tried to dye it back to brown, and it literally looked like mud mixed with a runny egg had exploded on the top of my head; it was AWFUL. XD So FINALLY I did my research and found a salon, but by THAT point I had done 250 pounds worth of damage to my hair (WHICH IS LIKE 400 DOLLARS CANADIAN AT THE TIME), and I almost had a heart attack and thanked my lucky stars that I had money put away so I could give my parents the ‘parent price’ when they asked why they hadn’t seen me on FaceTime or Skype for like, three weeks, and I replaced my face with a photo of John Cleese from Fawlty Towers, which they tease me about to this day. xD

The other dumbest thing I ever said was when I was so desperate for friends in grade six when I moved to a new school (and because being American was ‘cool’ at the time, apparently), I told everyone I was a dual citizen because my mother LITERALLY GAVE BIRTH TO ME ON THE BORDER CROSSING WHAT. XD And bless this poor bespectacled girl named Mara (who was actually a little class friend of mine), who just said timidly in the back, “That’s not how citizenship works.” xD It basically came out of attempting to be cool and failing, but I’m still SO embarrassed about THAT one that I’d never admit it to ANYONE besides shouting it out into the Tumblr black hole. xD I’m still embarrassed to THIS DAY.

All time favorite shows:

I’ll go for the original run of The Twilight Zone, which has some schmaltzy episodes (I’m really not a fan of any of the episodes entirely dedicated to the Space Race or the weird cowboy fanaticism of the fifties/ sixties, or anything that’s overtly like “ALIENS DID IT SO THERE”), but I LOVE their psychological horror episodes or Dystopian episodes. It’s when Rod Serling’s writing and narrative voice is the strongest and most prophetic, and the twists are usually the best. Other shows have tries to imitate it, or reboot it, but I really think the original, due to Rod Serling’s unmatchable voice, in every sense of the word. There’s lists of some of the greatest episodes, but I remember LOVING the episode ‘A Stop at Willoughby.’ The twist literally made me clap my hands in horror and delight, it was amazing. xD

Other than that? Off the top of my head, Mad Men and Band of Brothers, even though I haven’t rewatched either in ages.

last movie you saw in theaters:

Oh God, before all THIS hit? Probably Rise of Skywalker. I get agoraphobic and itchy if a movie theatre is too busy, and we only have really pokey sort of ones nearby that you’re guaranteed to see someone you went to high school with (terrible), so now that I can properly drive I go out to the big redneck theatre out in the boonies. I miss living in Montreal though, because when you live in a big city like that downtown (and can actually afford to live there), you could see blockbuster movies at like ten in the morning. xD Which would be AMAZING because I’d go to see any of the early Avengers/Marvel movies when they opened, the day of opening, and it was literally me, one old man who fell asleep halfway through and sat near the back, and maybe an elderly couple on a morning date to the movies. xD I get really annoyed with obnoxious movie-goers, and I’m really picky about just being completely absorbed in the movie, so I tend not to go unless I’m guaranteed that space.

tagging: Anyone who wishes to tag me back so I can learn about them <3

#meme #well god this was embarrassing #still hope you found something of interest in there though xD #personal #I indented the longer answers so this was somewhat cohesive

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squaredcircleconfess · 4 years

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Talking Christ #1

𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗧𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗕𝗬 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗖𝗜𝗥𝗖𝗟𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗙𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗔𝗟

𝗛𝗢𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗕𝗬 𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗔𝗡 𝗙𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗫 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗞𝗜𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗡 𝗙𝗥𝗔𝗨𝗦𝗧

The Talking Christ by Squared Circle Confidential signature plays until the scene transitions over to Kiersten Fraust and Logan Fenix sitting on opposite sides of the large glass table. A backdrop of the Talking Christ logo behind them ready to start the show.

Kiersten Fraust: Hey everybody and welcome to Talking Christ! I'm Kiersten Fraust and to my right is my very outspoken co-host Logan Fenix joining me tonight! Wooo! What a show Wrestling with Christ in Saudi Arabia was, right?

Logan Fenix: It was a complete catastrophe, Kiersten, but it was the kind of catastrophe I could not look away from like a child falling down an escalator. I laughed, I cried, I threw up in my mouth in sheer disgust and much much more.

Kiersten Fraust: I was very surprised how they got away with so much of the stuff that happened. Being Saudi Arabia and how strict things are over there. I'm just thankful that everybody who made the trip came back to the United States and their homes safely.

Logan Fenix: Got away with it? Hercule Giles was over there forever, according to Brennan Devlin they’re still picking apart Bun Bun to this very day. They all left pieces of themselves behind, quite literally, and none of them will ever be the same. Do you know how much the therapy is going to cost them all?

Kiersten Fraust: Well, you know sometimes people tend to exaggerate things online and really... my mind is still trying to process everything that happened. The whole golden ticket championship madness throughout both nights of the show. Everyone thinking that Marty Kovacs was dead but shows up on night two very much alive. I mean there is a ton more which will require therapy for the viewers.

Logan Fenix: And what about say for instance, C.J. Sweet turning her back on everything she’d ever known in this business. From the start of her career, she’d been the good girl, the fan favorite… one big win and suddenly her personality shifted and she turned her back on Angel and the fans. Somehow, that paid off and you know what? I’m actually happy to see that side of her.

Kiersten Fraust: Seeing her in that light is kinda disturbing to me. It's honestly sad because she had so many fans rooting for her, rooting for Angel, rooting for this match but then she turns her back on them? I don't get it.

Logan Fenix: That’s what you do when you are trying to make that next step, to turn that next corner. This CJ has a lot more stock in her than the last and I am happy to see it. But then, we had on Night One, Jacob Kuntz taking on Winter Drell. This one had a lot of potential to change the very outlook of Night Two. Because if Kuntz won, it changed our main event from winner take all… If Winter won, well, the chances of Winner Take All weren’t just chances anymore, they were happening. Boy what a fight that was too.

Kiersten Fraust: Ever since Winter Drell won the CCW heavyweight championship she has done everything in her power to keep it. Like when she ate the light tube in her match against Jacob Kuntz. That match was very, very, very brutal thing to witness and I was just sitting at home watching. I can't imagine what it was like seeing it in person. Then Kuntz? Oh my lord, he was just taking the blunt of every light tube that came in contact with his... Uhh.. private area.

Logan Fenix: But in the end, Winter Drell hung on… somehow, the Queen of the Double Dragons ensured that she had her chance for Winter Take All. Get it? Winter take all. But before we get to that.. Chang had an eventful weekend, he killed Allah!

Kiersten Fraust: While you're all celebrating it, I just don't know how to process it all. Were we all tripping on something we didn't know we took before this match or what? Like Chang killed this invisible presence. It's like...

Kiersten Fraust: My words have failed me.

Logan Fenix: Love it, love everything about it, and let’s not forget what he did to Prince Salman. You saw what he did, right? It was like something out of the Avengers. I kept waiting for Samuel L. Jackson to show up at the end and recruit him.

Kiersten Fraust: Throughout this match I was thinking how we were watching a collaboration between Avengers and Terminator movies in wrestling. But yeah, I saw what Chang did to Prince Salman. I wish I didn't but I did.

Logan Fenix: It was the most captivating, enthralling, some would even say erotic thing I’ve ever seen, Kiersten.

Kiersten Fraust: Don't you mean exotic? Like Joe Exotic.

Logan Fenix: No, erotic. As in I experienced confusing emotions in my brain, and in my nether regions. My girlfriend Taylour and I had the best lovemaking experience of our lives after watching Chang’s matches.

Kiersten Fraust: Uhmmm... Okay. How about that Winter take all? It was one of the best things you've said tonight. And she really showed up in that match. The champ was kicking butt and much more.

Logan Fenix: Everything I say is good things, Frausty. But you’re right! What about when Redd Thunder and Duke Andrews hurled themselves into the Double Dragons, all of them went off the Heaven in a Cell to the floor. Thank goodness for Wendy Wynne’s magic toilet paper maze… it was magic right? Actually, let’s not get into the mysticism of an enchanted toilet paper maze, we’ll be here all day. What a move from Thunder and Andrews though, but it did not pay off in the end.

Kiersten Fraust: Constantine was about to win it for his team but then the freakin' devil shows up? The Saudi Arabia crowd definitely got more than what they bargained for. It was hellish with little sprinkles of good thrown in here and there.

Logan Fenix: It seemed like Satan may have been making an offer to Constantine too, but Winter took the deal instead… and then the end, when the building was finally overrun? And did you see the post-credits?!

Kiersten Fraust: Where Chang was holding Prince Salman's heart and declaring he was going after Jesus next? Yeah, I saw it. I wonder how that match will go down, if it will be a match at all.

Logan Fenix: We did see a logo at the end for Wrestling With Christ: Satanic Service, maybe? But let’s not get ahead, we have some guests!

Kiersten Fraust: Oh yes! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our very first guests to the show Conor Machina and Mitch McMaster.

Both men walk on to the set, Mitch acting like he had a few extra shots of hard liquor and Conor his cool and collected self. They sit at each end of the table as they are given microphones.

Kiersten Fraust: Guys! It's so great to have you here. Thanks for coming tonight.

Conor Machina: It's a pleasure to be here.

Mitch McMaster: Wow look at you honey.

Mitch scooting closer to Kiersten, obviously very inebriated and thirsty for a drink of that Frausty root beer.

Kiersten Fraust: Wow, and look at you too. But I wanted to ask how your client Barry is doing after the loss to Axel at Wrestling with Christ?

Mitch McMaster: Oh you like what I’ve got goin’ on don’t you honey? Who? Oh, Barry! Barry, I love Barry, that kids been family for ages. We’ll get Axel, don’t you worry. My baby girl Angel made a bad choice in a man, and I have to protect her.

Kiersten Fraust: How did this match come about?

Mitch McMaster: It all comes about at Wrestling With Christ 2. He asked her to marry him, it was brief, but I caught it. Now, I always dreamt of better for my girl, she’s so many generations ahead of wrestler that she deserves the best. Instead, she has to deal with that wrestling equivalent of a mutt? Nuh uh! I thought maybe Barry would whoop some sense into this guy but, apparently, I need to look deeper because he cheated Badass Barry Saban. You saw it right?!

Logan Fenix: The world saw it, Mitch. Several closed fists, which should be banned but the referee just lets it go.

Conor Machina: I know the thought of your daughter marrying Axel gets you extremely hot under the collar and it's natural for you to disapprove of him and want better for Angel. But I have known Axel for a really long time and the guy's a good dude. Nobody would mess with her with him around.

Kiersten Fraust: I totally agree.

Conor Machina: Now as far as the closed fists are concerned... What about that low blow Barry gave to Axel when you distracted the referee? Are you guys just selectively blind during the match? Barry had it coming.

Kiersten Fraust: Yes. Excellent point.

Mitch McMaster: You have a problem or something boy? Your line of questioning is starting to get me hot under the collar, I did what I had to do and I’ll do it again. But right now it seems to me you’re trying to rabble rouse and cause issue. You’ve been looking at me cross-eyed this whole show and I might be an old man but this old man still got a lot of bullets left in his gun.

Conor chuckles into his microphone.

Conor Machina: I mean this with the utmost respect but come get your ass kicking, playboy. Pull the trigger.

Mitch McMaster: Oh it’s on, boy, I’m going to slap you around like your mama should have before she went out and let me put my thing in her way back in the day.

He jumped up as security rushed in to keep the two men separated.

Mitch McMaster: Better watch your ass big boy, me and the homies are coming for you. Better sleep with one eye open cause froggy’s about to leap! RIBBIT MOTHERFUCKER.

Conor Machina: Tell me... was there a secret stipulation to that match if Axel won, Angel had to call him daddy?

Mitch McMaster: Watch yourself because McMaster spells disaster for you, kid! And my daughter would never be into DDLG fetishism! That tears it!

McMaster threw a shoe across the room at Conor, nearly taking his head off as he was drug out of the room.

Mitch McMaster: RIBBIT MOTHERFUCKER, RIBBIT!

Kiersten Fraust: Well, this is an interesting way to sign off. See everyone next time.

Mitch continues to shout out of camera view and the show finally comes to an end.

#wrestlingwithchrist #talkingchrist #efed #chat

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jack-kellys · 5 years

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thank u, next: finale part 2

(here's 1)

yeah haha imagine if I left it at that

———

words: 1806!

warnings: cursing, death, supernatural shit

———

Five, Part Two

As much as Albert knew what the fuck had just happened, he also didn't at all.

The clearest thing in his mind was that everything from the last two months had been falsified by whatever voodoo demonic (apparently) bullshit Race had put in him. Al nearly shivered just thinking about it—who knew what actions were truly his and what had been completely controlled by Race. He literally hadn't been himself for two fucking months.

On top of that, Race was one of the few people on the planet who knew his fucked up relationship history. Being so severely lied to was a slap in his face, a reminder that he couldn't trust anyone with his feelings. Race had made him forget that—forced him to, rather.

There was also this impending sense that something was coming. Al literally couldn't leave the room, the door mysteriously “locked,” and Race was suddenly tethered to the room like never before, which was more than odd—it was honestly terrifying. Something was happening today that had been triggered by Al buying the apartment, and...apparently otherworldly consequences came with it. And it seemed like those consequences were unfairly stabbing him right in the back, all thanks to Race.

But Race had...cried. He seemed apologetic, almost mournful, and at least shameful. A part of Al wanted to comfort him, run his hands through his hair and tell him everything would be okay...they were fine…

But no. Race had said it wasn’t real. Nothing had mattered. Al had been used, yet again. Race didn’t fucking care—this was just the veil of pink-tinted infatuation that had been thrown upon Al from the start. The thought made his blood boil.

He wanted to scream, or throw something, or hit something, anything to get the fire that now raged in his stomach out of him. He was hurt, upset, betrayed. He was fucking angry.

Suddenly, a small piece of something seemed to float away from Albert’s heart. It was happy and warm, but at the same time, it didn't feel like it had ever truly belonged. Good, he thought.

Fuck this. Fuck Race. Fuck whatever impending bullshit was coming to him.

He drew himself out of his thoughts at last, glaring daggers at Race. “Fuck you!” Albert screamed. “You're a lying piece of shit! I wish I never loved you, you—” Albert paused, his eyebrows scrunched together as he really looked at Race.

Red fire so bright it blazed white danced in Race’s eyes. His skin was paler, his teeth sharper as he grinned at Albert with malevolence. That wasn't Race, not exactly. That was a fucking demon.

“You're the piece of shit that made Race into a piece of shit,” Albert growled. “Fuck you especially, asshole.”

“That'd be me, yes,” the demon nodded. “I’m Antonio's curse.”

“And what do you do, exactly?” Albert asked, pointedly looking the creature up and down despite the fear running through his veins. “What am I here for?”

“Great question. Sorry Antonio didn't get to answer it for you, by the way, that must've freaked you out. He was cursed with immortality at the expense of human lives, and you...” The demon smiled slowly, revealing its fangs once again in evil excitement, “...are cursed with being one of those human lives.”

The demon’s laughter faded into the background as Albert felt his heart drop to the floor and his eyes widen in shock.

Not only had Race cursed Al to fall for him, but cursed him knowing it’d..it’d be at the expense of Albert’s life.

His head slowed down as his heart rate sped up, his vision blurring.

He was going...was he...?

Albert DaSilva was going to...to die. Because of this fucked up family, because of that fucking witch Race called a mother hellbent on revenge, because Race lied to him for two months. He was paying the ultimate price just for walking into a room.

Hot anger sizzled in his stomach again. He’d missed that feeling, he realized. Two months without it had felt wrong. Lovesick bullshit was officially over. If he was dying, Al thought bitterly, it’d be kicking and screaming.

“This is the worst break up ever, demon,” Albert spat before impulsively throwing a punch as usual.

It was short-lived, the demon catching it with lightning speed. Knives of pain shot through Albert’s arm as the demon twisted it, sending him to his knees.

“You're unbelievably like Sean,” the demon tutted, grabbing the front of Al’s shirt and lifting him into the air as Albert kicked uselessly with his legs. “Infatuation got the better of him, though. He didn't fight as hard as you.”

“Who's Sean?” Al demanded, failing to rip himself out of the demon’s hold.

“Antonio's first victim. He was special, just like you. Antonio really liked him, and you.”

“Then why the fuck did he do this to us?!”

“He was running out of time,” the demon explained boredly, like he'd done it a thousand times. “A victim only buys him a certain amount of life. He had two weeks left until his mother dragged him down to hell for 'failing' her, but then you walked in. So now he has two more years until he has to do this again.”

Albert faltered a moment at that. Could that mean that Race really didn't want to hurt him? He shook his head to rid himself of the thought. No. This curse was messing with his head. Al was just some useless part in this game; that's all he ever had been to Race.

“That doesn't change anything, asshole, I'm still innocent,” Albert growled, once again kicking at the demon.

The demon sighed. “I don't care, you stupid shit. I've done this a thousand times. You're just another life.”

Albert crashed to the ground as he was thrown across the room, but managed to get back on his feet.

And then the ground disappeared from under him.

Albert let out a gasp of shock as he fell through, arms crashing against the remaining floor and pulling himself upward as much as he could. His legs kicked in empty air beneath him.

There was a perfect circle around where he had once stood, like it had been carved from the wood floor. Even though the apartment was two stories up, there was nothing beneath him. Slightly confused, Albert tried hoisting himself out of the hole, but something tugged him back. When Al looked down to see what had touched him, his mouth dropped open in horror.

Beneath him is what he could only describe as the River Styx from the Hercules Disney movie. But this was no cartoon. A sea of groaning, ghoulish spirits swirled right under his feet, their hands reaching for him, life extinguished from their eyes. Al could feel their cold hands swipe over his ankles as he tried desperately to pull himself up a little further, anything to get away from..from that. A hand wrapped around his ankle this time, tugging harder as Al struggled to stay above the pit of literal hell beneath him.

“What the fuck,” Al breathed, heart racing. “Who are they, what are they gonna—are they-?”

“Yeah,” the demon shrugged. “Gonna drag ya down with ‘em. See, they’re just like you—poor souls simply tricked into dying. Don’t worry though, this is only part of their afterlife.” Then he laughed. “They do say some places just....suck the life outta people, right?”

Albert’s scrambling grew more frantic at that, hands clawing forward to pull himself out. He couldn’t go out like this. He was too angry for that, for the hopelessness that was overtaking him.

The thing was that...well, simply nothing was working. He couldn't seem to pull himself out, however easy it sounded; however easy it should have been. He’d try to swing his leg over, but some spirit would grab it and pull it back downward. He couldn’t kick off of anything to launch him further. Every time he inched forward, something pulled him back, down closer to whatever awaited him. He didn't know how much longer he had to do it for—or how much longer he could do it for.

“Fuck you,” Albert growled. “I’m sorry about your mom being awful, really, but this is fucked up! I didn’t do anything, please, just—“ He took a ragged breath, his head feeling lighter. This was taking a lot out of him, he realized with a jolt. He was running out of time.

“Please,” Al begged suddenly, gazing up with wide fearful eyes at the demon, “you don’t have to do this. I didn’t do anything, please, oh my god, please just let me go.” Albert weakly battled with the ledge again, letting himself be pulled down a little further when he failed to make any ground. He had been at it for hours by now, and it was just...so draining. His arms were burning, heavy, and clearly useless. They needed a rest. He needed a rest. He wanted to stop so badly, just a little break…

No. NO. Al tried to focus his thoughts. He couldn't die. He just couldn't—he had things to live for, he had a show in a week. He attempted to push himself harder, strain himself just a bit more.

“You can’t do this,” Al argued, vaguely aware of how small his voice sounded. “Please, I’m begging you, please...just...let me...”

Just let me stop, Al thought. All he wanted to do was stop, just rest a moment, that was it. His arms wobbled as he once again tried to drag himself forward. Nothing. Useless. He was all tired out, the ability to fight flickering away. He was so, so tired. Tired of fighting, tired of thinking, tired of...being awake. He just felt exhausted, heavy, and...done.

He lifted his head slightly, unfocused eyes landing on what still looked like Race. “I did love you, y’know,” he managed to mumble, before his head lolled back down.

Albert let out a small groan as his eyes fluttered closed involuntarily. Maybe just a little rest, he thought distantly, ...just a second without a fight...no fighting...

Distantly, he felt himself being tugged down, cold arms and hands grabbing at his legs and torso, but he couldn’t resist their pull. It was almost inviting, his body finally getting the break it deserved. He wanted to fight, wanted to kick and scream and curse, but his exhaustion was too strong, too much. Albert almost thought he could hear it whisper to him, coaxing him to simply let himself fall asleep, just sleep, Albert. Don't fight. Don't fight it. The vague thought of giving into the calm felt so good, so easy, so final in his foggy brain.

And then, Albert did. He slipped.

His mind stopped any thoughts of resistance as his grip slackened, sleep overtaking him as the spirits dragged him down, the Higgins family claiming their latest victim at last.

———

okay that's it! we're done thank you all for reading I spent a lot of time with this series–

okay I'm joking!! there's gonna be an epilogue ;)

TAG LIST

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#thank u next series #my writing #yayeet #OH KY GOD #ITS OVER #IM- i...#oh my god....#albert dasilva #racetrack higgins #ralbert #THIS GOT WILD DIDNT IT AHAHA #newsies #fizz freaks #newsies fics

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zdbztumble · 5 years

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Penultima Raving (KH III Spoilers)

No, I haven’t finished the game yet.

I must be near the end, as I’ve ended up in the crazy windmill world from the opening sequence, but as there was quite a bit that happened in the short span of story progress I made today, I decided against waiting ‘til the finale to do another write-up.

Where I left off last time was Sora piecing himself together - literally - and then proceeding to rescue everyone but Kairi in the various Disney worlds. That Kairi didn’t need rescuing, but was in fact keeping Sora from fading away, and was there to guide him back to the realm of light, was a great idea. The line “you’re safe with me” was wonderful, and a good start to a pay-off on her promise to be the one to keep Sora safe this time. But a great sequence in isolation can’t achieve its full potential impact when the character arc that it’s a part of is so neglected prior to that point. And as for the follow-up to that moment...well, let’s come back to that.

I feel torn here, because there’s quite a bit in this section of the game that’s brilliant in concept and beautiful to look at. If the execution weren’t so spotty, then this post would be much shorter, and much more of a SQUEE! in text form.

Going point by point:

- The cutscene when you enter the Keyblade Graveyard the second time, opening in the same way as the first, was a bit confusing but not a bad idea. But having Terra defend his friends against Terranort was. If I’m just starting to get the hang of how the Xehanort Horcruxes and Sora’s “host to three hearts” business all work, I still can’t figure out how Terra’s heart relates to his possessed body. More importantly - after Sora goes through the hard work of rescuing everyone and turning the clock back, having another character rush in to claim the Hero Moment leaves him feeling like a bystander in his own story. This isn’t a new problem in this level; Sora was a glorified bystander in the two Disney fairy tale worlds. Other characters pointing out how special and important Sora is throughout the game, besides being annoying and actually undermining Sora’s special qualities, make it all the more obvious when he gets left out of important action.

- Surfing the Keyblade stream is fun, but it’d be more fun if the combat didn’t just amount to hitting a single button in rapid succession, and if it wasn’t made confusing as hell with a random shout-out to the mobile game.

- The multiple Demon Towers surrounding all our heroes made for a very dramatic visual and a formidable sense of menace. It’s a shame I never got a chance to see how challenging they actually were, because this entire sequence is left as a cutscene. I imagine there are serious technical challenges to putting together a battle where Mickey, Riku, Aqua, Ven, Kairi, and Axel are all battle partners to you along with Donald and Goofy, but this just makes me think again that a toggling system that let you battle as members of various parties would be a great solution.

On the other hand, this sequence gave us Master Yen Sid casting his Fantasia magic all over the place, and that was a truly unexpected pleasure. I don’t care much for him being a Keyblade Master on top of being a wizard, but seeing him be a wizard was amazing. Now all we need is a Sword in the Stone world where Merlin can cut loose.

- Splitting the party up and leaving Sora to find them in a maze is a great idea, as is pairing enemies that were formidable bosses in their own right together to face him. I didn’t find any of them that much of a challenge, but I think I’m overleveled (spent a bit too much time having fun with the ship battles in the Caribbean, I think.) The bigger problem with these battles was the pacing, with cutscenes interrupting the gameplay entirely too often. Each of the villains is given an almost-identical death sequence, and with pretty much none of them being likable (or even memorable in some cases), the efforts at giving these moments some pathos, and the attempts to create moments between the dying and Sora, all fall flat.

- Did I miss something about there being two Replikus? I have been so confused about this ever since the Big Hero 6 level. The one running around being an evil Organizer was confusing enough, but another one living inside Riku? And being able to spontaneously emerge from his body to neutralize the evil one and leave behind an empty replica for Namine, who is also in this game by the way? The fuck?

- This whole sequence serves as a great illustration of the problems that come with having too big a cast. Terra gets his Hero Moment back in the Graveyard (and virtually the same one in the maze), but he gets written out of the action pretty quick. Aqua and Ven do too, as do Axel, Mickey, Riku, Kairi (still not back to her yet); all the Keyblade Wielders of Light get shoved out of the way rather unceremoniously unless the time for their one brief flash of brilliance (if they even get one), while the bulk of the story is driven by the antagonists. But as I said, the members of Organization XIII are still not very interesting, and there are too many of them for any one to stand out.

- What the fuck is Xion doing back here? She barely made sense as a character in 358/2 Days, but her death was one of the very last to have any sense of permanence, and to give the concept any meaning in this world. That’s now undermined even worse than it already was. On top of that, it seems obvious to me now that all those conversations between Ansem and “Ansem” that I thought might be alluding to Kairi’s part were actually about this blank slate of a character.

- And now we’re back to Kairi.

Xehanort cutting her down didn’t surprise me. I’ve been expecting something like this to happen from early on in the game, though I wasn’t sure whether it would be Sora or Kairi who was killed. In part, this is because I stumbled on some sad fan art that, though lacking any description or anything to tell me that it was a moment from the actual game, was tagged “spoilers” and made me nervous. A bigger tell for me was the fact that most of the Disney movies used have a moment of sacrifice for a loved one. Meg shoves Hercules aside, and Herc in turn offers his life for Meg’s; Eugene gives up his chance to be healed to free Rapunzel from Mother Gothel; Anna rushes forward to take a blow for Elsa; and Tadashi and Baymax both sacrifice themselves in Big Hero 6. At World’s End also sees the lovers Will and Elizabeth cruelly separated by Will’s death, with Jack sacrificing his chance of immortality to give them some measure of happiness.

Between that, and all the taunting by Organization XIII, there was a sense of foreboding early on in my play-through that something was going to happen to Sora and/or Kairi, and for all the missteps in the handling of their relationship over the years, those kids are still cute as hell, so I was emotionally invested. But then, in each of the worlds where a death or sacrifice happens, no connection was made by Sora, or any other character, to him and his bond with Kairi. In previous games, moments of much less importance would set him or someone else off, but not here. In some cases, that makes sense (Sora wouldn’t even be aware of the sacrifices in Big Hero 6) but for those moments that he literally bares witness to, it seemed very strange. While that was something of a relief, as it made any potential death seem less likely, it was also annoying, as I’d given the game credit for selecting worlds with the same thematic idea as a neat bit of foreshadowing that seemed destined to be an unfulfilled coincidence.

Then, when Kairi leads Sora back to the realm of light, Sora has a brief flash of Eugene and Anna’s sacrifices, and the connection was finally made. (Will’s death gets left out of the count for some reason.) It was very little, very late in the game, but it was something, and I started expecting a death again. But this was after the neglect of Kairi’s character and of her relationship with Sora became apparent, and the emotional investment did not return - at least not in full force.

It is rather cliche, killing the heroine (or letting her die) to motivate the hero, but that’s not a reason not to do it if it can serve the story and be executed effectively. Given how important Sora and Kairi are to each other, it’s the ultimate extreme that you can take with their arc. So I can’t object to the idea out of hand. And had Kairi been kept a prominent presence throughout the game and her training as a Keyblade Wielder made apparent and meaningful, her being cut down after demonstrating skill and bravery would have made for an extremely powerful moment.

That’s not what we got.

What we got was everything I objected to in my last post about Kairi, with a vengeance, in this entire section of the game. While I didn’t have the same experience of her being an incompetent battle partner that others have (she even pulled off a quick heal in a pivotal moment), she (and Axel) could have been removed and I wouldn’t have had any more trouble with those bosses. Of all the Seven Lights, Kairi’s consistently the one with the least screen time and the least to do in the cutscenes. The way Xemnas and Xehanort handle her, she’s reduced to a prop, a passive object. And when the moment of slaying comes, it lacks the dramatic flare and emphasis that was given to the deaths of literally every single member of Organization XIII, or to the revivals of Terra and Xion. This - the death of our supposed tritagonist, who is the prime motivating force for our hero and who plays a vital role within this fictional universe as a Princess of Light - is quickly tossed out and moved past.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; this is not about Kairi being a favorite character of mine (until she’s developed more, I can’t call her that.) This is a character who is supposed to be important. Not just important, but central. You can’t maintain the credibility of that idea if you leave this character sidelined for game after game after game, and only ever trot her out for when the plot requires something to happen to her. Again, the moment where Kairi tells Sora “you’re safe with me” is a good moment. Sora’s cry of “why her?” is striking; the implication is, basically, “out of all my friends that you could have killed, she was the one I would choose to save,” and that is a powerful moment. But moments can’t cut it on an arc this important, not after three games disregarded it and this one spent nearly all its time on the convoluted mess of the villains’ scheming.

That no one in the development process of KH III (to say nothing of the games between it and II) ever realized this, or recognized the problems that it would cause at the climax of this, the culmination of the entire series up to this point, is truly baffling, and I can’t imagine that there’s any way that the story can dig itself out of this mess in the short time remaining on the game.

#critique #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3 #kairi #commentary #disney #z's crits

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