#literally been months since my tablet worked im so back!!

[samwilsonshandsandass]

Ich habe 13.072 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

152 Einträge erstellt (1%)

12.920 Einträge gerebloggt (99%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@daughter-of-ophelia

@wenellyb

@captainsamwlsn

@rhapsody-under-pressure

@gaygay--astronaut

Ich habe 602 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

#my things – 143 Einträge

#sam wilson x reader – 94 Einträge

#sam wilson x you – 94 Einträge

#sam wilson x y/n – 94 Einträge

#my writing – 90 Einträge

#sam wilson fanfiction – 85 Einträge

#sam wilson x reader insert – 85 Einträge

#sam wilson fanfic – 82 Einträge

#sam wilson – 72 Einträge

#captain america x y/n – 65 Einträge

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#that anon couldve just asked a jewish writer why they dont make their jewish reader tell how their grandparents were murdered in auschwitz

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

Masterlist

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

Danny Wagner Masterlist

Henry Cavill Masterlist

Loki Masterlist

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist

Sam Wilson Masterlist

Sharon Carter Masterlist

Steve Rogers Masterlist

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist

60 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 19. Januar 2022

#4

Some Bad Luck Makes Good Things Happen

Pairing: florist!Sam Wilson x reader Summary: You’re in search of a flower shop for a friend’s wedding. When the shop you chose is suddenly out of business, you literally run into your salvation. Will something more come of it? Warnings: none, it’s all fluff Word count: around 2K A/N: @hot-chocolates-world did a florist!Sam Wilson AU moodboard some months ago and I had the inspiration to write something with the moodboard in the back of my mind and I feel like there's not enough Sam Wilson AUs

A wedding in your friends circle was in the works and one of the brides, Mina, had asked those closest to her to help with preparations. On the list where things like flowers, color scheme with appropriate fabrics, pastries, cakes (specifically a different point than ‘pastries’) and flowers.

You volunteered yourself for the flowers, since there had just opened a flower shop around your blocks corner.

The flower shop around the corner seemed like it would make nice arrangements, since they had quite the selection on display. During your lunch break, you went there and promptly an employee asked if she could help you.

“Yes, I’m looking for a flower shop that can supply the wedding of a friend with fifteen flower arrangements.”

“Of course. You’ve come to the right place. I’ll show you what we could do on the tablet and if you like that, we can move on to the real thing and deliver them the day of.”

“That sounds nice. I thought of calla lilies, baby’s breath and pink roses.”

The employee showed you what she’d do and you agreed with her selection to move forward. Two days later, you got a call to see the example arrangement in the flesh. At the shop, the flowers looked every bit like you imagined them. You paid the deposit and were in high hopes for the wedding.

The wedding came closer and closer, only ten days now. Your stroll took you around the neighborhood to the flower shop but what you saw made you stop dead in your tracks. The store front was dark, the sign above the door was missing and the inside was devoid of anything. No flowers, no tables, no bowls, no register. Next morning, you tried calling and googling them. It seemed like they had never existed. You called your friend and explained what had happened and ended with the promise to try and get replacements. She agreed about it being unlucky but told you she was thankful for you trying to fix a mess you weren’t responsible for.

You had been able to get out of work early and took a stroll in the evening light. Deep in thought, you bumped into something soft.

“Oof.” Came from in front of you.

The man turned around.

“I’m so-“ You cut yourself off when you looked at his face.

“Don’t worry about it.” He brushed it off.

“I should’ve watched where I’m going.” You shook your head.

“Deep in thought?”

“A bit. I’m just wondering where to get flower arrangements for my friend’s wedding.”

The man grinned at that.

“What’s so funny?” You questioned.

“Look behind me for a second.”

You did and saw a store front with double doors. The shop was dark inside but the street light and setting sun cast light onto several baskets full of different flowers, tablets saying which and how many flowers cost what and some arrangements. Above the doors stood in colorful, romantic letters “Sam’s Flowers”.

“I’m guessing you’re Sam?” You chuckled.

“Bingo. And you are?”

“Y/N.” You held out your hand.

Sam shook it, after transferring a small flower bouquet to his left hand.

“Flowers for your date?”

“Nah, flowers for me. No date in sight, just a good bottle of wine and a home cooked meal for myself.”

“I won’t keep you then. Have a nice evening.” You waved your hand and went home, as did Sam, you supposed. You thought about where to get flower arrangements and after a few steps you turned around.

“Uhm, Sam?” You called out.

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

64 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 22. September 2022

#3

Henry Cavill Masterlist

That’s my girl

Summary: Just a nice evening with Henry Warnings: Sex, eating out, restraints Word count: 2006 A/N: For everyone who wants some nice gentle rough dicking down

What should we name them?

Summary: You take Henry with you to a horse auction but it’s not a classical horse auction which gives you the chance to name the horses. Pairing: Henry Cavill x f!reader Word count: 2109 Warnings: none A/N: This is just me screaming about horses

Synced

Summary: Henry Cavill has to deal with his wife and their two daughters and their synced periods Warnings: Blood, obviously but not much more Word count: 1026 A/N: This was inspired by a small part of @keanureevesisbae fic “Mr. Cavill your dog is kinda fat” and myself starting my own period yesterday so I’m in desperate need of fluff that includes having your period. So, enjoy!

69 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 19. Januar 2022

#2

So I now have every Sam Funko of the TFATWS collection and the What If...? Sam and I'm very happy 🤗 but now there's six Sams who share one Bucky

148 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 3. Juni 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

Holy shit, Fresh was so fucking good!

The real-ness of the first minutes with Noa's date being a fuckboy extraordinaire who was literally called Chad and then the man behind her when she walked to her car who just walked with his baby but it's just ingrained in us women to see these threats because not seeing them leads to our demise. And the immediate dickpic after the luring in with a nice doggo. And despite all these shitty things that are all too real there's still the need and want to believe in guys who are just nice. The whirlwind romance which than comes crashing down.

Steve Kemp literally being and as Mollie said in the movie "a straight girls' fantasy" plus a mix of all dark fics we ever read that weren't set in an AU (and that exclusion is just because his profession wasn't that profession in dark fics). How Mimi Cave didn't shy away from the possibility of rape and making it all that much more realistic because that possibility is always on the table and how there wasn't anything sexually unconsensual.

How Noa played along and fooled Steve and never once compromised her principles and did what she could to save the to her basically foreign woman and her best friend not even stopping from the utmost measures and getting her revenge just as Mollie at the almost end.

And then in the very last second Chad's text encapsulating literally every fuckboy ever!

It was an incredible movie and that was the first movie Mimi Cave directed and it was already this masterpiece, we can expect great movies from her! But I still wanna know who is responsible for Ann having one amputated lower leg. Was that Steve? If yes, why did he stop after "just" the lower leg? Did she agree to turning a blind eye to Steve's "antics" so her lifestyle can be financed? How long has she been okay or even complacent in all of it?

249 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 5. März 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

#tumblr2022 #Jahresrückblick #Mein Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 #Dein Tumblr-Jahresrückblick #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #my things

[wizkiddx]

...surprise

um okay so here I am trying angst again. this is kind of intended to be open ended bcos might have a part two at some point. im also lazy and has a few time jumps. also if someone could pls explain if you just get pics for the top of these off internet or credit on like gifs or something that’d be appreciated.

Summary: Tom comes home and everything is most definitely not the way he left, nor is it healthy

Warnings: please read with caution esp relationship with food / weightloss, but just generally a person in a bad bad head space, lots of self blame - then next parts will carry different warnings too

************************

Tom had been away for months. Months and months away from his girlfriend, separated entirely by his filming locations in Europe and America; while you were busy slowly and steadily climbing the ranks of your law firm. Being an intense period for the pair, you hadn’t managed to see each other in 2 and a half months.  Of course, both go you were used to this - 3 years deep into a relationship between an actor and a wanna-be lawyer- this was the name of the game.

But honestly? You both just kept falling deeper and deeper, making the separation harder to deal with - rather than getting used to it as one might hope.

That's why Tom felt such an incredibly overwhelming wave of relief as he dumped his bags just outside his front door. Even though he was exhausted from the travelling, just the mere act of finally phishing out his housekeys brought a massive grin to his face - caused particularly by the sight of his tacky little keyring from a Moroccan market that you’d bought him. That had been your first holiday. There’s that old saying that before you move in with someone go on holiday first - Tom understood it to mean you supposedly see all the bad and ugly stuff people can hide from each other, a prewiring before committing to living in the same space. However that holiday all he’d learned was incredible you are to him. To his dying day, Tom will never forget the moment he looked over to his left when the two of you were on this night time stargaze in the depth of the Moroccan desert. Y/n had never seen stars like it, the skies so incredibly clear and lit up with an array of magical blues and purples and whites on its sark background. The sight, for no unexplainable reason, had you completely opening up to Tom about things she’d never told a single soul. And in that moment he’d had this sort of realisation. Not about how much he loved her - because that is just the cliche thing everyone says… and also just wasn’t true.

In that moment he’d rather realised the potential. The sort of ‘I’m not there yet but I know you could become the centre of my universe’. The sort of ‘I’m not ready to say this yet, but I want to spend my life with you’. The sort of ‘at some point in my life I’m not sure my heart will be able to beat without yours’.

He still hadn’t quite got to explicitly saying all that yet, by asking you for the ultimate commitment. But he planned to now he was coming back to you.

Even with the chill of the early evening winter air, Tom was almost ecstatic as he unlocked the door and let himself in. He hadn’t told you that he was coming home, you thought he had another two weeks on the job, but Tom was a bit of an old romantic - he loved seeing your eyes fill with wonder as he surprised you in whatever way. Sometimes it was as simple as a note on the fridge, or a small bouquet from behind his back or as fancy as a surprise holiday.

However, this time, though it was only 6 in the evening, all the lights of their house were off making Tom raise an eyebrow as he quietly slipped off his shoes - not wanting to scare Y/n just in case.

Tom had sworn when he’d been on the phone with you the previous day, you didn’t have any plans tonight but perhaps maybe a spontaneous pub trip and been offered with work colleagues. The house felt a little cold as he padded through it, poking his head into every room just to check Y/n wasn’t there. His last port of call was the bedroom.

By this point, Tom was pretty resigned on the fact you were out and he’d maybe cook a meal for when you got back or hide about the house or something. But instead, when he poked his head around this door, he sighed in delight at the sight of a still mound under the plush white sheets. For a brief moment, Tom paused, before tiptoeing steadily round to her bedside. The light was still off but the hallway light illuminated the room enough so he could make out your soft features and the messy ball of hair that had been haphazardly thrown in a bun. Furthermore, he could also notice in the light the packet of painkillers and migraine tablets lying opened on the bedside - which made him freeze. Y/n didn’t get migraines often at all, but when she did Tom knew just how bad they could be. That explained the fact you were spark out at six o’clock, making Tom give a sympathetic smile. He crept back out the room with a little spring in his step, deciding that since he had had a long day travelling he'd grab a snack and join you. Unfortunately though, when he enthusiastically yanked the fridge open the sight was a rather depressing one. He didn’t really know what he was craving but the fridge contents were of almost no use to anyone. The place was bloody baron, apart from a tub of butter and of course his special beers that Y/n would never dare touch. With a small huff though, Tom resigned himself to some bread and butter, before getting ready for bed.

It was probably an hour later when Tom was carefully crawling under the duvet to settle in beside Y/n after the disappointing snack and maybe a solitary ‘welcome home beer’ - it would be rude not to. God was he excited to just have his girlfriend in his arms again though. So, Tom naturally reached over and powerfully yet gently pulled you back towards him - making your back flush with his as you mumbled something incoherent. Chuckling slightly at your apparent annoyance of being disturbed, Tom pressed a kiss to her temple before settling down momentarily.

But something wasn’t quite right, making Tom shuffle about a bit - ever adjusting huis grasp on your waist as he attempted to get comfy. With the migraine medications forcing you into a deep deep sleep you barely stirred and that just made the unease increase for Tom. Because you didn’t feel right. This didn’t feel right. Ever so slowly Tom started to peel back the duvet from your body from his now sitting upright position. Typically, Y/n was wearing one of his hoodies, however more concerningly it seemed to pool and collect around your frame more than normal.

Now, Y/n was never the most petite person in the world - by no means overweight, instead of beautiful curves and muscle. To Tom now though, it was as if someone had literally shrunk you - like a picture on a word document you needed to make narrower to fit the margins. Even in the dim light of the bedroom he know realised you looked pale. Honestly, Tom didn’t know how long he just sat there staring at you, until you sighed a little and pulled the duvet back up to just under your chin.

He didn’t know what to think or do. All he knew was you didn’t look well and that you hadn’t said a thing to him. Feeling so very uncomfortable within himself, Tom climbed out the bed and simultaneously grabbed his phone. He knew he had to call someone, to check that you hadn’t been ill - but then who to call? Someone that wouldn’t judge or instantly worry- your mum was completely off the cards. Also, he hadn’t even given you the chance to explain yet, so really he knew there was only a couple of options who were close enough to him too.

“Hey what’s up?” “Um nothing much, back in the UK though so-“ “Oh shit really! Kept that one quite bro” “Yeh well came back to surprise Y/n” “Oh you're soooo whipped” “Fuck off Haz, have you um… have you seen her recently anyway?” “You're asking me if I’ve seen your girl while you’ve been away?” “I’m being serious. You’re pretty much brother and sister and I’m -I’m a bit worried.” “What? You know she wouldn’t cheat especially with me” Haz’s tone turned less serious, using a goofy accent “ I know too much.” Haz still attempted to lighten the mood, this conversation very unexpected and making him grow more and more concerned himself. “Haz quit it. I’m worried she’s been ill. I’ve come in and she’s asleep with a migraine but there’s no food in the fridge and she’s skinny as hell.” “Fuck er sorry I didn’t realise. But um no she’s been cancelling on us for the past like two weeks cos like…I don’t know said she was just snowed under at the firm so” “But before then?” “No yeh she was fine. Went to the pub a couple times and she always drove so didn’t drink but nothing weird - think she wanted to keep a clear head. What are you thinking?” “I don’t know to be honest mate. She seemed fine on the phone but I swear to god she looks half the size  of what she was when I left.” “Just talk to her in the morning? She probably is just stressed if work has been mad busy.” Tom hummed in agreement, half trying to convince himself too. “Yeh yeh, sorry for bothering you.” “Oh shut up mate - I’ll see you both at your parents for the roast tomorrow? Sams got some new recipe I think, he’s been wittering on about it for days.” “Yeh we’ll be there, see you then mate.” 

After signing off to Haz, Tom placed his phone on the little table on the upstairs hallway and sighed. He knew he was being over-protective but he couldn’t help it. Y/n was always the one to care for him, in fact to care for everybody int he room and then some.

He’d get to the bottom of whatever this was tomorrow, and so the rest of the evening Tom spent rather unhappily get ready before bed yet again before climbing back in next to you.

///////////////////////////

Tom woke before you, a combination of jet lag and the worry in the pit of his stomach meaning he stirred awake first. Instinctively he pulled you closer and nuzzled his nose into the side of your neck as he slowly began to wake up properly - shrugging off the grogginess. Tom was still really excited for you to realise he was back, predicting you  to excitedly hug him ever so tight and then spend the morning between the sheets. He knew you found the distance tough, especially when all your closest friends were coupled off, it meant you just didn’t have ‘your person’. It was almost as if you were single again and instead of pining over an ex, hopelessly and completely in love with someone across the globe. But that just made your time together even more invaluable and precious.

So even with his slight unease at your slimmer silhouette, Tom didn't have any control over the loopy grin that came to his face as you started to stir and mumble something incoherent, all the while (and subconsciously) inching closer towards him. By the slight fluttering under your eyelid, Tom knew you were waking up and so took the moment to tuck your frizzy bed hair behind your ear. Sighing contently Y/n’s eyes fluttered completely open and Tom met your gaze with the most gently of smiles.

However, he then watched moment by moment as your expression morphed for one of peacefulness and content, through confusion, and ending at pure terror. He had barely thought of asking you why, before you yelped, throwing yourself up into a sitting position and backing as far away on the bed as you could from Tom. “TOM... I-you can’t be here! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!” “Y/n hey what’s wrong-“ “GET OUT! G-GET THE FUCK OUT! YOU CAN’T BE HERE” you  yanked the bedsheets to completely cover your huddled up body, as if trying to protect yourself. At this point, tears were streaming down your face and what truly terrified Tom was the expression of horror in your eyes. He threw his hands in the air and unsteadily stumbled to his feet. “O-okay I’m-“ “GET OUT!!! YOU CAN'T SEE ME GET OUT!” Completely bemused and shocked, Tom just nodded jerkily -already halfway out the door and accidentally slamming it in haste.

He had absolutely zero clue what that was about. But what he knew for a fact? He’d never ever seen you like that… you looked so completely terrified… of him? Tom couldn’t for the life of him work out what the hell was going on, as he paced from the shut door to the hallway wall and back again, running his hand through his hair throughout. He could hear you sobbing and whisper yelling - presumably at yourself. It felt as though his heart was being torn out, seeing you that upset and it appearing as his fault? He was acting on pure instinct and adrenalin because your pain hurt him too. He had no control of the physiological response in his body, making his hands shake and breathing increase in speed as it inversely got shallower too.

And so he took a short inhalation, biting his bottom lip as he knocked on the door. “Y/n?….” He got no response after waiting a couple of seconds so tried again - because he could hear you trying to stifle your sobs. After another two failed attempts he opted for a different approach. “Y/n… I’m worried about you… look, I know your upset right now but I need you to let me know your okay… or I’ll have to come in and…and I don’t want to spook you” “Don’t come in.” It was a sharp reply, with a voice that was cracked and clearly trying to keep It together. “Okay… I-I’m sorry if my surprise of coming home was a dumb idea…I-I’ve missed you.” Tom tried speaking softly, as he knelt down and sat with this back against the wall while nervously fiddling with his watch strap that he’d forgot to take off last night. Again he waited for a response but got nothing, again having to warn you he needed to know you were okay. He heard movements from the other side of the door, making him turn his head to the left, pressing his ear on the cool gloss paint. “I-I’m sorry” You barely were whispering, but Tom could sense you were now sitting in a position mirroring his “You don’t meed to apologise love” Returning her tone, Tom sighed at the end - trying to get his brain to process what was going on.

Y/n wasn’t one to overreact and Tom could count on one hand the number of serious fights they’d had in the three year romance. And even then, he was the one to raise his voice - when she argued it was more reasoned, slow and controlled. Actually it was one of the things that in those moments infuriated him even more - you were just so level headed and sensible. Scratch that, sensible purely in this context - everywhere else you were just as loopy as him. So this situation felt so very alien. He didn’t know how to help you and he bloody hated feeling useless.

After a few moments, you replied to apologise once again, for shouting specifically,  and Tom nodded - not that you could see. But that was one of the things Y/n had taught him, sometimes you just have accept things - no matter the context. Accept he wasn’t actually a superhero and couldn’t do everything, accept that sometimes he could be a dick and out of line or accept an apology.

“Can you.. can you try and tell me why your upset? I want to help.” He was trying to be gentle, non-confrontational. But he knew something was so wrong. He needed to know so he could try and help out. “I…”Y/n began, but quickly trailed off, as if trying to formulate the words properly. “I’ve just been ill and” again another pause “and I haven’t been looking after myself very well. I just planned to be umm- to be better when you got back.”

It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t really the truth either, at least not the whole truth. But it wasn’t a lie.

“I’m not sure I understand why your so worried about what I think though?” Tom inquired, as he started to fiddle with the door handle in his left hand - as if easing the idea of coming into his girlfriend without scaring you. In reply, you sighed again trying to put the words together without explicitly spelling it out to him. “I don’t- I thought you’d just be disappointed or-or think I’m reliant on you. I’m not and I can handle myself I just…. I don’t know.” “I love you, you idiot.”Tom chuckled at that, while standing up. “Can I come in now please? I promise I’m not disappointed just want to help you feel better.”

The door opened and no sooner could Tom take a step forward than Y/n ran into his chest, wrapping herself tightly around him in apology. He knew that he didn’t have the full story but really didn’t want to push her, more preferring to just love her. So that’s what they spent the rest of the morning doing, in their pyjamas and watching TV. Quite obviously, she wasn’t really making a lot of conversation, Tom filled some gaps with talking about filming - to which she’d hum in agreement or chuckle along. But for the most part Y/n was concentrating on something else.

The all-consuming guilt. That was what was eating away at her.

part 2?

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #Tom Holland angst

[inkribbon796]

Like a House of Cards Ch. 9: Magic and Might

Summary: The heroes and villains learn more about the troubling future.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Dark was coming to, slowly, with a pounding headache. A headache that was made worse because two people were literally screaming directly over him.

Wilford and Brody had gotten into a bit of a disagreement. Brody had gotten upset that Dark was just lying on a cold table and had gone looking for a pillow or some kind of cushion. But Wilford used the Void to grab what he wanted before Brody could take two steps to leave the room. That caused a light argument about how Wilford wouldn’t have done anything if Brody hadn’t spoken up. Which Wil immediately argued that was not the case. And that led to the louder argument that had woken Dark in the first place.

“Mhmmm!” Dark complained, his aura not quite strong enough to lash out at them without worsening his migraine. He was a little dazed as the memories of before he’d been hit hadn’t come back yet.

“Great, yeh fookin’ woke ‘im up,”[1] Brody complained.

“I woke him up?” Wil argued heatedly. “The absolute nerve!”

Nestor had his head in his hands, “Fuck, I forgot that they do this when we put them together.”

“Wil?” Dark called out, his aura naturally tugging Wil closer.

Wilford instantly turned to go and tend to Dark, Brody looked away and sighed in defeat, taking a seat close by. “Yes, my Darkling?”

Dark grabbed Wilford and pulled him close, Wil realized he was shaking. Brody looked over, noticed the shaking and gripped his knees as he forced himself to sit there.

“My sweet licorice,” Wil frowned as he didn’t try to escape or wriggle free from the Entity. “What’s wrong?”

“You almost died,” Dark told Wil, who looked very confused.

“My Darkling, death is—” Wil chuckled, running a hand through Dark’s hair.

Dark grabbed his hand, “No, Wil, that blast would have killed you. I barely survived. You don’t have enough aura to survive an attack like that.”

Wilford thought on that, “Well even if I did die, I would haunt you. Here let me—”

Wil tried to pull away, but Dark held him in a vice grip. Panic flooded the Entity’s mind.

“No! I can’t let you be attacked by something like that,” Dark ordered. “You can’t—”

Dark’s voice became choked and Wil leaned in to gently kiss his forehead.

“I’m not going anywhere my dear, I promise,” Wil smiled and Dark seemed to calm down a bit now that Wilford wasn’t pulling away again.

After a bit, Dark pulled himself up, and noticed everyone still in the room. He groaned and protectively curled his own aura around himself. He didn’t have enough aura at the moment to spare to make some sort of display of power. Which made him uneasy. Wil and his children were safe but who even knew how long he’d been out for. He had an image to uphold and he was wasting it sleeping on a desk of all things.

As the Entity’s thoughts were thinking of something that would help him look like he wasn’t about to fall apart, he felt aura tap towards his own and his cracked and battered soul was so eager for more aura to take that he grabbed it without thinking and felt like it was massaging the inside of his scalp. The feeling made Dark feel better almost immediately.

Dark’s migraine blissfully began to fade and he recognized the almost tangy sweet of Wil’s aura creeping towards his own. Dark thought it was weird but he was desperate for aura and trying not to show it maybe he could—

Wil’s aura aggressively shoved the first aura — Brody’s — off of Dark. The headache flared back into his senses and left Dark a little whiplashed.

“The hell was that? He was fookin’[2] calmin’[3] down!” Brody spat at Wilford.

Dark looked around the room in confusion before he saw Anti. The individual he initially assumed was the cause of the argument. But Anti wasn’t coming over and Wil and Brody were on either side of him. The glitch wasn’t even looking their way, he was just hovering over Henrik. The German doctor was with Iplier still tending to the Host’s and the Dealer’s eyes.

Nestor got in to pull Brody away before it got violent and Wil stood next to Dark who was soon distracted by Illinois and King who were trying to catch Dark up on what everyone had discussed while he was unconscious.

Ethan and Silver were going through the huge file of pictures and videos.

The former sidekick paused on a group shot of Dark sitting in his warehouse office with J.J, Brody, Nestor, and someone who looked a lot like Henrik just in suspenders and without his lab coat.

“Hey, I thought you guys said Henrik was dead?” Ethan asked.

“Henrik’s not in that picture, it’s—” Nestor told him, but looked at it again before doing a double take and snatching the screen back. “Oh shit! It is.”

Brody looked up, when Nestor walked over, “Hey Chase, this is Heinz’s last picture.”

“Huh,” Brody leaned to look at the screen. “This was the fourth right? Not the last time I saw him in the front, but definitely the last picture.”

“What happened ta[4] him?” Anti hissed. Now that Glitch Logan had been physically taken away from him he was far calmer, but he hovered protectively around Henrik.

“Well,” Brody began. “When the hunters were burnin’ Brighton down an’ I was runnin’ around trying ta help stop it, yah were tryin’ ta protect Kay an’ his kid from some ‘a the hunters. The fight almost killed yeh an’ Henrik agreed ta let yah hitch a ride until yeh got better. But yeh never left an’ after ten years yeh both became the Mortician.”[5]

Anti just stared at him in alarm.

“Same thing happened to Nate and Mare, it was just more traumatic for them,” Nestor told Anti, before immediately changing the subject back to the Mortician. “Morty’s alright, comes into town every Thursday to shoot the shit and show off his knife collection he got from you. I think Henrik might still be in there but it’s been ages since I could tell the difference. I think Dark can but I don’t ask him about what Mortician does and I have enough to do every day. Which is a shame.”

Anti came over and looked at the screen, uncertainty and a bit of unease in his eyes. There were some pictures of this . . . Anti didn’t know whether to call him a new demon or not. He had Henrik’s face and something in Anti’s long dead soul twisted a bit. He didn’t like the idea of Henrik with some other demon, even if it was some other version of himself.

Henrik, who was finished cleaning up the Dealer’s eyes walked over, “May I see?”

“No!” Anti tried to surge over to destroy the drive and the tablet it was in before Henrik could see it.

“Anti, don’t be fookin’[2] difficult, just let him see it,” Brody shouted at him. “If Brighton’s not burnin’ then Mort’s got no reason ta e’en exist.”[6]

“Anti!” Henrik, starting to shout at him in a mix of German and English as he stomped over and took the screen away to look at it.

“If somezing[7] involves me, zen[8] I deserve to know!” Henrik shouted at Anti.

Henrik studied the picture for a bit, curious and a little nervous about this future version of himself.

After a minute of seeing his own body moving in a way that was similar and alien all at the same time, he handed it back to Nestor as the group went through the videos. Chase saw some of the pictures taken of his future self talking to Dark in the mob boss’s office. Himself in a vest and button-up and what was obviously a real gun on his belt.

Everything about the photographic evidence making him uncomfortable.

As most of the heroes and villains were still in the meeting room they’d been originally brought to, Logan went down to the ground floor parking lot. His glitchy counterpart had to move there to help build whatever device he’d been working on. The Googles and Bing were helping him to assemble the machine parts that were being constructed and printed.

Roman hovered right next to him, apprehensive about if the glitch would attack or not. Janus was with him and the other Sides were hanging back within earshot.

“Are you able to talk and work at the same time?” Logan asked the computer.

The image glitched and the young demon was on the monitor, as if he was simply being recorded in another room. “Such is the wonder of automation. We have much to discuss.”

“We do,” Logan agreed, feeling nervous but tried his best to hide it. “You spoke of a Collider earlier. What is that?”

Schematics popped up on the screen for Logan to see and scroll through. It was some advanced laser or turbine.

“I have been working on this for the past three resets, when it became clear we and the Dealer had different end goals,” Glitch Logan announced. “It is a fusion of magic and technology powerful enough to cut through dimensional rifts.”

“What would be the purpose of such a device?” Logan asked, “you are from the future.”

The computer showed images of the generator that Logan’s drive and three Sides’ lockets had been in. “After our last resulting failure, I decided it was time to ensure the Core Sides’ survival so that was why I constructed my generator. Which, I had plans to use Anti as a power source. He was older than I am and 99% likely to survive with little more than some scraps against his soul. After a month or two he would have been fine.”

“Why were we in that generator?” Logan demanded.

“Well, after I would reclaim Anti,” Glitch Logan began, as if his answer would be oblivious, “I planned on using the excess energy to finish cracking the souls of every single Side. If that wasn’t enough to turn all of us into instant demons, nothing would.”

“You heinous monster!” Roman shouted. “More proof you are not who you say you are!”

“I would merely be finishing what Wilford’s soul splitter started,” Glitch Logan announced gleefully. “It is far easier to kill all of you as you now stand. I am trying to keep all of us alive. I do not care if I am liked or thanked for what I have done. My actions so far have led to not only your survival so far, but made Dark suspicious and guarded enough to save Wil.”

“So the mages and hunters you murdered were worth nothing but power to you!” Logan roared.

“Yes,” Glitch Logan admitted with no hesitation. “Their magic would have fueled the generator to ensure a successful merge, but now that Wilford is still alive the Host has agreed to use our Anomaly to fuel the generator instead. Meaning that Anti’s involvement will be completely unnecessary. I have already handed over the magical amulets I used to store their magic to the Host, Dark can keep them, he needs them more than I do at the moment.”

“Glad to know that sentient life will not be used for your personal gain,” Logan spat. Anti was his enemy, but he did not deserve to be turned into a living battery. None of the mages or hunters deserved to be turned into batteries.

“You have lost nothing, you would be prepared to roil in your own grief if I were not here!” Glitch Logan spat. “Roman and Virgil will not die, and Patton will not be hunted like an animal. I have saved them.”

Logan didn’t have an easy rebuttal.

“Maybe you have, but this is our future now,” Janus proclaimed, nudging himself protectively in front of Logan. “We will make of it what we will.”

The glitch demon chuckled, his screen version pushing up his glasses, “I suppose you will. I’d be more concerned if I wasn’t sure they were still in capable hands.”

Because it was a screen, it was unclear if Glitch Logan was looking at anyone in particular, but Logan felt it. As if he was being specially targeted.

“Why decide on the generator now, and not earlier?” Logan tried to move the conversation, Janus looking at him out of the corner of his eye.

“That was because I was so close last time,” Glitch Logan proclaimed. “The Host forced a reset, I didn’t know that he could do that without J.J but apparently the Anomaly is more powerful than I could have imagined if it granted him the ability to do so.”

“Why did he reset you, if things were going so well?” Logan asked.

“Hmmm,” the Glitch hummed. “Uncertain, but Chase went into the dome, it shrank into a smaller one and after five seconds we were standing at the same spot we always do when we are thrown back. Chase was crying and immediately he and I got into a fight with the Host. It was some nonsense about a doll and that the Host didn’t want to discuss him. All I know about this “doll” is that it had something to do with Dark. I can infer that Dark had some reaction and whatever the Anomaly made in that dome, it scared the Host.”

“Scared him, how?” Virgil asked, he’d been listening in and came over.

“Uncertain, but the results speak for themselves,” Glitch Logan smiled as a camera detached on a long cord to look at Virgil. “Come out from hiding, my sweet nightmare?”

“Get away from him,” Roman nudged himself in front of Virgil, drawing his sword.

Glitch Logan was smiling, “So full of life, I’m glad something is finally going right. Now if you all will excuse me, I have to ensure my future.”

Then his video turned off and the construction on the machine sped up.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations

1. Great, you fucking woke him up

2. fucking

3. calming

4. to

5. When the hunters were burning Brighton down and I was running around trying to help stop it, you were trying to protect Kay and his kid from some of the hunters. The fight almost killed you and Henrik agreed to let you hitch a ride until you got better. But you never left and after ten years you both became the Mortician.

6. If Brighton’s not burnin’ then Mort’s got no reason ta e’en exist.

7. something

8. then

#Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #footnotes #Darkiplier #Wilford Warfstache #Chase Brody #Antisepticeye #Henrik von Schneeplestein #Crankgameplays #J.J #Logan Sanders #Roman Sanders #Janus Sanders #darkstache #DarkAverage #Dark's not used to people flirting with him #confused Dark #Glitch Logan is a bit creepy

[normal-thoughts-official]

Agh I read your recent post and realized: the entire Polycule absolutely commissions Magnus for gifts for birthdays/anniversaries/holidays. And he always insists they don’t pay bc it’s who he is but they all make it their personal

Lmao last ask sent too early. But the Polycule absolutely makes it their mission to pay Magnus by force if necessary. Simon literally hides money in the loft. Maia pays him back in free meals at Taki. Mel brings him Seelie weapons/charms/etc. Clary brings paintings as gifts, and maybe she ends up investing in a gallery and gifts a portion of the profits to Magnus. Izzy always pays for things on their shopping trips.

god yes hello how does it feel to be a genius? i absolutely adore this

truly tho this is so great. i particularly love the mental image of maia’s birthday since she’s dating everyone in the Polycule (love how we capitalize it that’s so hot girl summer of us) plus there’s also her pack and just generally she has a lot of friends and everyone loves her, as she deserves. so like 4 months before maia’s birthday magnus just starts sending ppl shit like “if you wish to commission a gift to maia roberts please come forward now so i have the time to properly work on all the requests. requests are open for the following month starting this date, and no later” because MAN the workload. one would think he’s the only warlock in this stupid town or something. seriously

but anyway they all want to get maia a little magical something to make it special, so he has to actually like, figure out a lot of spells. raphael’s first request of a gift to her is to make something that tastes exactly like chocolate, but isn’t, since she can’t eat it anymore after the lycantrophy and raphael is a softie who wants her to have all the food and sweets she wants. and raphael is obviously like “i know i’m asking a lot, which is why i came to you, because if anyone can pull it off, it’s you, but you can say no if you’re too busy-” and magnus is like “hush, my boy, you know i’d never say no to you. besides, i’d be happy to give maia this” so there magnus is, studying the chemical composition of chocolate and the werewolf digestive system like crazy. in the end he lowkey cheats - he creates these magical tablets that are actually tasteless, but look and have the texture of chocolate, and when eaten have an enchantment that activates all the same parts of the brain that chocolate does, so it “tricks” maia into tasting chocolate. but hey, it works, so, that’s a win! maia is so happy she just jumps in raphael’s arms and almost topples them over but raphael has the biggest smile on his face and kind of spuns her around a bit. she also gives magnus a kiss on the cheek, and it’s the sweetest thing aaa im so soft

then of course magnus refuses to take any payment because he’s not going to charge his son for a gift even if it was a real fucking bunch of work. so basically raphael comes to him on clan business and he’s like “you have to charge me because if you don’t charge the clan on official business this can create a diplomatic problem and all the other clans are going to come for you or us” and magnus is like “okay that’s fair what do you want” and raphael asks him for like one (1) bag of blood and pays him A Thousand Dollars (it’s his own money, not the clan’s, but like, it’s officially a clan transaction). i’m exaggerating but you get the spirit. and magnus is just like��“that is not the price-” but raphael bolts

and just other little things. meliorn is a practical nonbinary entity so they get her a little necklace that basically protects her clothes when she transforms, then magics them back on her body once she goes back to human form (i know that meliorn has seelie magic but it doesn’t work the same way as warlock magic so maybe they can’t do that themself for some reason idk. like their magic seems to be more a “playing with nature” stuff). easier than having a bunch of clothes hideouts. simon gets her a kind of mirror that play whatever memory she’s thinking about when she touches it, so she can watch it like a video u kno. izzy gets her, like, A Real Lightsaber. clary draws a little comic book enchanted so the figurines actually move. etc. every year they get sweeter and more convoluted and obviously they don’t all always come to magnus (simon for example makes her a bunch of songs, izzy is lowkey an engineer so she can make her a bunch of stuff herself, rapha also takes pleasure in the mundane things and knows that maia feels the same way so he likes to get her special, mundane gifts sometimes, meliorn obviously has their own magic, etc), but it’s always something special when they do

and then there’s always the fun little cat and mouse game of Forcing Magnus To Take Payment. they aren’t afraid to play dirty. izzy gives the money to alec under strict instructions to only spend it on magnus, but magnus can’t pay it back because it’s technically alec’s money. meliorn gets magnus some seelie magic gifts so precious and rare it would be essentially disrespectful to give them back (both in the form of like, powerful charms and trinkets, and also like, priceless spellbooks that very few have access to, etc). maia tells him that if he doesn’t take her payment, she won’t take his tips, which leads to a battle of him tipping her exactly the amount of money she’s paid and maia finding new, stupid stuff to “pay” him for (sidenote: my dad and one of his friends do essentially this every time they go out, as does most of my mom’s family. his friend once literally stole my dad’s wallet when he wasn’t looking so he couldn’t pay for their meal and the friend could treat him. no joke). simon and raphael hide money in the loft and when magnus goes to them they’re like “what? no, this isn’t mine. i agreed to take it for free as a gift from you” with the absolute most innocent face you’ve ever seen in your life. and so on

raphael’s birthday is also convoluted because like, 4 partners, a clan, a thousand people he helps with taki’s and the soup kitchen, and he’s magnus’ son, so of course everyone goes to him for help. simon has a major freakout every year because he doesn’t know what to get him (look. raphael is very refined and simon. is not. plus he’s been known to fuck up with raphael so he’s always Nervous even if all the clary bullshit was decades ago), so he comes to magnus, like, begging for help so he can figure it out. which is just straight up stupid because he usually actually has extremely sweet, beautiful ideas (like the time he recorded rapha a CD with a bunch of songs he made for him in spanish and raphael teared up so hard) but he gets insecure and agitated so magnus’ job there is mainly getting him to chill. then it works out. he ends up not even needing magnus to do anything because again, raphael enjoys the simple things and everyday gestures and just... regular, mundane stuff. he misses it. you know?

but that’s not stopping simon from paying for the counseling because he’s sweet like that, and magnus deserves it

and then of course there’s magnus’ birthday which always comes with a bang and he has so many gifts he’s basically drowning, what with all his friends and kids and warlocks and just. people who love him. he’s a bit surprised every time, which makes everyone exasperated because he’s such an important member of their community, like wtf. but it’s always sweet when his birthday arrives and there’s a fuckton of magical gifts manifesting at his doorstep until he’s almost drowning in them lmao. i just aaa i love this they’re all SOFT

#ask #anonymous #magnus bane #raphael santiago #maia roberts #simon lewis #The Polycule™ #brief meliorn izzy and clary but not too much so dunno if i should tag #maiaphael #saphael #saiaphael #saia #brotp: i'll do whatever it takes to protect them #q

[mageofcolors]

reasons i hate my job:

1. a job in sales is super manipulative of the customers just so you can get some money. ive seen people straight up encourage abusive behavior in order to make a sale

2. typical shift is 11 hours long

3. we have 4 people working in our store but only two tablets. so even if we have 3 people working at a time, not all 3 of us can hepp customers at once

4. schedules are made super last minute, and sometimes i have tp remind the manager to give us the schedule

5. at least one of my 2 days off in a week my manager will ask me to come in anyway

6. manager is irresponsible tbh. i asked her one favor once and she didnt do it and bc of that im not getting the money for my sale

7. manager once went to wisconsin dells and swam in a pool DURING THE PANDEMIC and then didnt take the time to quarantine after. the district manager knew this and didnt do anything to stop it. when i encouraged all my coworkers to get tested after she came back and the store ended up getting closed for 2 weeks, the district manager called it us "wanting to take a 2 week vacation" instead of a safety precaution we had to take because HE AND THE MANAGER didnt take the proper precautions first.

8. our company is two companies that just merged and there are so many errors in the systems ALL THE TIME

9. i just got a 3/10 review from a customer bc i was coughing the whole time, even though i explained to the customer that it's not covid and it's not contageous. this was also my very first review so that's great /s

10. half of the customer service and sales support people we need to call practically every day dont know what theyre doing

11. since the merger they took away our stools and now we have to stand for 10 hours in a day

12. our air conditioning is broken right now and i am overheating

13. they sometimes supply us with water, but usually not. so i have to bring enough water from home to last me 11 hours

14. none of my coworkers voted and im pretty sure theyd vote for trump anyway

15. one coworker is just. super annoying in everything he does. i cannot stand close to him without being uncomfortable

16. oh yeah we cant even stand 6 feet apart when we do our jobs

17. i got written up once because i was in charge during a couple days but the mistakes weren't even made by me

18. my first manager literally believed in stupid questions and it got to the point that i was scared to ask him anything

19. it took 4 months for me to become commissionable for some reason (that being them refusing to teach me), while everyone else becomes commissionable after a week

20. when stores in this company were closed bc someone was tested positive for covid (which happened multiple times), then closed it for one day and had it deep cleaned, then the next day they forced people from other stores to work overtime at that store, instead of just letting the store be closed temporarily

21. when the stores were closed during the quarantine at first, people had to use their paid time off in order to get paid at all

22. my coworkers would put insurance on people's devices without even asking them, which charges them an extra $15 a month

23. everyone here is cishet and i'm just. really uncomfortable talking about anything i like or do bc cant relate

24. one of my coworker doesnt do shit outside of selling. he literally tells me im better at it and leaves it at that. he doesnt even TRY

25. almost every single customer asks me about my cough and i am EXHAUSTED

26. my manager dumps a lot of her work on me and instead of taking the time to work on it herself, half the time she's just talking to people on the phone and getting distracted

27. one time my manager went on her lunch break (we get one hour) and then came back to the store 1 1/2 hours later, and then went to the back room to eat. i'm like??? did you not have time to eat in that 1 1/2 hours???? you know what she said? "oh i was shopping"

28. ive told every one of my coworkers my pronouns. none of them use them. they dont even notice when i try to correct them

29. my manager also randomly deadnames me. like you didnt call the other guy his legal name??? you called him by his preferred name completely fine when he's not even trans??? but this enby you gotta "forget" to call by their chosen name, even though that's all anybody else calls me??? actually, my district manager calls me by my legal name sometimes too thats probs where she got it, but he knows my preferred name too so fuck them

30. when i finally got my log in information to sell things, they misspelled my last name. i had to get it corrected. this prevented me from being able to sell things for a longer time. when the companies officially merged and i got new logins??? they fucking did it again

31. when they gave me my name tag it had my deadname on it so i asked them if i could get one with my preferred name on it. district manager said he'll order one. it's been over a month.

32. two of my coworkers smoke and then i have to stand next to them when they come back in and smell the fucking smoke. im sorry im trying to breatheover here

33. we have to say this long-ass intro when answering the phone and it's so awkward and annoying

thats all i got for now

#vent #negative #lion vent #lion post #trump mention

[iphoenixrising]

I was thinking about the Titans working with the Avengers Kon and Bart still a little ticked at how Tim was treated brag about how fast Tim bonded with the Avengers. How Tony is seconds away from adopting Tim. How Bucky and Tim have come so close that he is in agreement with Tony to kidnap their new son. How they had to drag Tim out of Tony's lab where he and Peter were playing with DUM-E. To add insult Cass shows up and says how happy Tim is. Dick & Jason are off to get their baby bird back.

Hi babe.

WELP. This is not exactly what you were thinking of, but dammit. Dammit. Angst, you know?

But I mean, I really do enjoy two things: Tony Stark taking Tim in the Tower so they can literally wreck ALL the things; also, the Bats realizing the absolute fuckery of how Tim pretty much got booted out of the role as Robin, then running elbows over assholes trying to get him back and make up for it.

So, I kind of thought it might start out like this maybe...

**

“How do we look, Tin Man?”

“We look fantastic as always, Klondike. Sexy is our aesthetic. See anything from your perch?”

“You know what I’m looking at, Tones.” The Winter Soldier only partly means the view in Gotham.

And yes, Iron Man already has JARVIS focused on the two vigilantes walking around their Robin’s penthouse apartment. He knew letting Tim come back to Gotham was a bad idea, but dammit Steve had been adamant, saying they shouldn’t try to sway the kid.

“He needs to make his own decisions, Tony. We want him to come back because he wants to, not because we’re pressuring him, right?”

Tony and Buck had immediately called bullshit, but couldn’t argue when Tim himself, old backpack and worn hoodie, no mask over his eyes or utility belt around his hips, just a 19 year old kid that looked so much younger, so timid, so broken without his alter ego.

“It’s time for me to go back,” he’d said quietly to the gathered Avengers, a whole different kid without the mask. “I just wanted to say good-bye.”

His eyes are violet-blue and soft when he looks around at them, seemingly satisfied he’d single-handedly brought the team back together after the shit show that was Civil War. He can leave now since the mission he’d set out to do is accomplished, and is apparent since they’re all gathered in New York City once again, leaving the Compound for the new incarnation of SHIELD with Fury at the helm, pretty much infiltrating the Tower to start the road back to becoming the family they used to be.

(And God is it crazy, fighting and living together with the insanity that is their lives.)

It started with a broken metal arm, alien invasions, and a plate of superior nachos.

It ended up with the team saving each other’s asses, coming to an understanding, fighting it out, then crying it out.

It ended with Wanda sobbing in Tony’s chest while his arms around her are almost as tight as Peitro’s once were, with Steve red-eyed on Tony’s other side, whispering in his hair how never again – together means together, with Bucky’s forehead against the back of his neck and tears streaming down his face, with Bruce and Nat holding hands while their legs tangled with Tony’s, Steve’s, and Vision’s, with Sam laughing at them all while he’s wiping his eyes, with the whole group literally jumping on Thor the minute he touches down with the new haircut and air of perpetual weariness, with them taking up a big table in their favorite 24-hour diner feeding each other and telling stories about what they’ve all been up to since that awful thing at the airport.  

Red Robin’s run with them started with fractured friendships and ends with them tripping all over each other during meals and movie nights. Bruce’s curry, Nat’s homemade dressing for the salad, Thor dipping in to snatch bites from everyone’s contribution. But this time around, it’s Sam and Wanda chopping vegetables while Bucky directs a sleepy Tony to a barstool close but out of the traffic, turning around to let the mechanic tie up his hair for him before he joins the cooking fiasco.

A week after they all move back in, he feels good leaving them with the rooms in the living quarters of Avengers Tower full of light and voices and warmth, just like it should have been. He’s giving himself a million vigilante points for this one – even if he’s going back out with no team and no safety net. It’s fine. He’s fine. He can’t stay forever anyway.

Besides, Kon and Bart have been trying to find him again, so it’s time to move on before they get too close. And really, he’s got no other excuses to stay. Bucky’s arm is maintained regularly, the broken team is working and the Accords (thankfully had been attacked on more than one side, thanks to big industries like WE and Queen, Inc. alongside Stark Industries) are modified to protect superheroes rather than stop them from doing what they do best.

All-in-all, he’d say the mission has been a success.

“Tim,” and the Captain moves away from Tony and Bucky’s side, one hand automatically out toward him, “you absolutely don’t have to go.”

“I appreciate the offer,” and he clears his suddenly tight throat, making sure the hood and too-long hair obscure his face. “But, it’s time.”

It only takes a glance back at the full team crowded around the communal floor television while the four player Mario Kart game stays on pause. The faces full of devastation make the message clear enough. With a decisive nod at the silent statement going through the team, Steve turns back to try arguing, the teenager is just–

–gone.

Tony, however, can’t shake the feeling of wrongness in the abrupt departure, and absolutely starts tracking the second he can pull away from the team to set-up protocols to trace the steps of their vigilante.

He listened to Steve’s half-hearted, “you know we can’t interfere with the Justice League, Tony. And Batman? Gotham is his territory. We go there, and there’s no guarantee we’ll be making it out if we even get past city limits.”

“Those guys might have the whole city wired with traps,” Natasha grudgingly admits. “Everyone knows the capes are unpredictable and terrifying. We should at least go through proper channels to get permission. Even if he’s still–”

“Oracle has nothing on me,” Tony’s eyes are all for the blipping red dot on his floating holo-screen.

Steve and Bucky exchange a glance behind Tony’s back, eyes meeting with a silent message. Bucky smirks and slides the muzzle up his face. Steve briskly turns on a heel and leaves the workshop with a plan already forming on how he’s going to run interference with the JLA so Tony and Bucky could sneak into Gotham without making a fuss.  

Bucky strides the opposite way, hand on Tony’s bicep, leaning in to talk low, “tell me ya got something more stealthy than red n’ gold, Doll. That or yer gonna play my Oracle, and get me in the kid’s penthouse from somewhere safe n’ sound.”

“Oh hell no. You’re not going anywhere without me. I’ve got a trick up my sleeve, Buckeroo, and it’s going to get us an audience with our disappearing vigilante.”

Tony’s satisfied grin makes him look adorable enough that Bucky has to literally bite down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from kissing (their) the engineer until he begs.

(Not like this. Steve had to be there when they were finally ready to tell Tony how they felt about him. Soon, they’d agreed last night after finding the exhausted mechanic asleep on the kitchen table with a tablet clutched in his hand and could finally admit to themselves how much he made them want.)

“I’ll bite. What d’ya got?”

“Just a little something super waiting in the wings. JJ, fire up the Quinjet. We’ve got a Robin to visit.”

With the Winter Soldier watching the two vigilantes facing Tim through his scope, Tony stands on a closer rooftop with the very new, very nice stealth armor, recording the footage of Nightwing and the Red Hood. His blood heats when it looks like they’re yelling at Red Robin while the younger is obviously bandaging himself up after a bad run-in.

And they’re not even helping him for fuck’s sake.

“Wow, that’s cold,” Bucky says softly while the comm in their ears are giving them the whole conversation. Something about Tim taking on a guy named Bane by himself. Seems to Buck like the kid took the asshole down, so the ass-chewing the other vigilantes are handing him seems to be pretty fucking ungrateful.

“They don’t deserve him. We have more sciency things for him to do. Crime fighting is always fun, but why not build amazing shit in-between?”

“Aw, c’mon Tones. Gotta let ‘im outta the lab so’s we can spar. Kid’s always got tricks. Makes fer some fun.”

“I know that’s why you like him so much, Barnes.”

“What, like I ain’t seen you fightin’ outside the suit before?”

“I’m not teenage vigilante kind of street-smart. I will punch the hell out of you, make some nifty explosions, re-configure your systems...oh.”

“Finally gettin’ it are ya?” And he can’t help it when his tone drops a little, watching Nightwing’s arms flail. “S’why I like ‘im. Reminds me of you, Doll.”

“...you might actually make me blush, Soldier. How novel.”

“If it helps, Steve never believed ya were just a guy in a suit. Not from the moment he met ya.”

“Where the hell did that come from?”

“Like I ain’t hung out with ya the past few months? I know how ya think, Stark, and ya ain’t just the armor.”

“Sure, sure. In all actuality, I’m the most well-paid consultant that ever lived.”

The Winter Soldier’s eyes flicker over where the Mark XXI is ducked in the shadows, jaw clenching because Tony’s odd self-deprecating tendencies bothers him just as much as it bothers Stevie. At some point, they’re going to address it with Tony, face-to-face. Not now, but that day is going to come, so help him.

In the meantime, Bucky tunes back in on the conversation happening inside, flips the safety on his rifle, and starts moving closer to Tony’s roof since they might not even need Plan B after all.

“What does that even mean, Timmy?”

“Calm it down, Big Wing. Pretender, look–”

“Do you see a fucking R on my chest, Hood?” And even from where he’s trucking over rooftops, Bucky can see the tension in Tim’s spine, the fast, angry movements as he tapes gauze pads to obviously fresh stitches. “I’m not ‘pretending’ fuck anymore. So how about you fuck off with that ‘Pretender’ shit.”

“...all right. That’s fair, so my bad. But lookit, B is all about ya coming ta the yearlies, you feel me?”

“What part of ‘it’s not my place’ isn’t clear here?”

The sigh from Nightwing is loud enough to hear it over the microphone Tony planted when they touched down.

“You have got to get over this thing,Tim. Dami’s been Robin for–”

“That’s what you think? That I’m fucking jealous, Dick?”

“He was a kid. He’s not still crying about the past–”

“Get. The Fuck. Out.”

The quiet calm of Tim’s tone is enough to make Bucky pause, and the sleek black Iron Man armor to step out of the shadows.

“I’m serious Tim! Listen–”

“I’m done. Done with you, done with the Bats, I’m fucking done. So do us both a favor and forget you were ever here.”

Nightwing flinches, his shoulders and back getting tight by the time Bucky is beside Iron Man, frowning behind the muzzle.

“I think we’ve heard about enough,” is distorted but still so Tony through the suit’s synthesizers. “Want a ride, Red Dawn? We can show up and be the likeable ones for once.”

“Really, Iron Man? I thought only Cap got special rides.”

“Well, I will always make an exception for my Bucky Bear, you know,” and he wiggles an arm, sighs a little as the Winter Soldier steps up against the suit, stepping up on to the rocket boots.

Having Bucky against him is something he can keep locked in the secret file in his brain he pulls up when he has bad days. Things like Steve hugging him, trips to the ball field, Bucky hanging out with him in the workshop while Steve drew or read or did paperwork on his tablet.

(Things he can never have. Sure, he can want, but he can’t let it get too real. Locking it away is safer for everyone.)

Knocking on the door of Tim’s balcony, shaking up the Bats, is really much more satisfying than Tony would have thought ten seconds ago.

He knows Tim is shocked, had probably been expected the big, bad Bat at his door rather than two Avengers waiting for entrance.

In his black and gold stealth armor, Tony waves metal fingers when the curtains pull back and Tim’s mouth drops open on the other side.

The door is wrenched open, and they can both hear, “we ain’t done here, Tim,” from inside, but Tim absolutely ignores it to stare wide-eyed at Iron Man and the Winter Soldier just, you know, hanging out on his balcony of all the fucking places.

“Tony. Bucky, what the hell–”

“Leave you alone for a few minutes, and you’re all kinds of hurt. Why am I not shocked? Winter Wonderland, are you shocked?” Tony gives no shits about interrupting this cute little family get-together and absolutely pushes his way in to Tim’s penthouse without a fuck to give.

As normal, Bucky is more of a doer than a talker when he’s in the mask, so Tony gets to watch him do that incredibly sexy murder strut right over the threshhold and grab a hold of Tim’s elbow. He snickers at the older vigilantes obviously gawking as the Winter Soldier pushes the third Robin down in a seat at his kitchen table right by the open first-aid kit.

“Zadnitsa,” the Winter soldier snarls in rebuke, already digging out more gauze pads.

“I missed you too, Frosty,” Tim shoots back, obliging the dangerous assassin by holding still while the gauze pads are taped down and more alcohol wipes are used to disinfect a serious slice on Tim’s shoulder blade.

Honestly, Tony has no idea how he even managed to stitch it himself, but the helmet swings over to the two surprised vigilantes.

“This sure as hell ain’t a good way to show it, y’know,” Bucky pulls the goggles off but leaves the mask, metal arm moving seamlessly while he gently pats the remaining slice with disinfectant.  

“Well, I didn’t expect you two to just drop in or anything. Or else, I might have a nice psycho for you to take down.”

“Well, shows you, don’t it?”

“I guess so. But I do have a bag full of plums in the fridge, so you’re in luck.”

“Hell yeah, Red.”

The faceplate of the helmet kicks up and Tony is grinning beneath it, “aww, plums for our favorite murder bot? What about coffee for your best engineer friend–”

Bucky pauses abruptly, and Tony sees the movement, a soft sigh of sound, but only just. The knife as long as his forearm is just suddenly out, metal hand on Tim’s good shoulder, holding him down, some automatic instinct to protect the kid makes Tony bite the inside of his cheek so he isn’t smiling.

The other vigilantes, however, are really intimidated in their own right since Red Hood has twin .45s in his gloved hands and Nightwing’s escrima sticks spark a few times for good measure.

“Tim, get up slowly and step back,” Nightwing’s voice is just this side of dangerous.

“We gotcha back, Tim, you feel me?” Hood’s thumbs flick the safety, a whole lot of not fuckin’ around happening right here.

“Do me a personal favor,” the unmasked vigilante deadpans, “and go fuck yourselves.” Tim wiggles out from under the hold on his shoulder and stands, gingerly puts a hand on Bucky’s brandishing the knife. He waits for those blue-gray eyes to slide over to him.

“C’mon, Bucky,” Tim tries to cajole softly, “these guys aren’t a threat. The knife is very nice. Is it new? You know I like to look at new weapons, but you can put it away. Promise.”

“Malyutka,” is a question more than a statement.

Tim huffs in annoyance because honestly, he’s not a kid.  (Welp, take into account, 100+ year old assassin, and maybe he can see the point.)

“My apartment, my rules, and if anyone, anyone,” he stresses, glaring at the two tense vigilantes, “gets blood on my floors or walls, then it’s fucking on. Everyone get that?”

“You’ll have to forgive us for being jumpy,” Nightwing deadpans, “we have a tendency to treat legendary assassins with immediate attention when one’s in our city, right Hood?”

The stiff angle of the guns doesn’t waver, nor does the helmet move. “Gotta say,” Hood’s voice is deep, even with the synths, “always thought this might go down different if our paths ever crossed again, Soldier.”

From behind the muzzle, Bucky’s teeth flash white, a terrifying smile, “last time my Handler wouldn’t let me kill you, Red Hood. Wanna to give it a go now that I don’t have one?”

“Sounds like a fucking party to me, sweetheart. Ya gimmie a time n’ I’ll bring the motherfuckin’ confetti.”

“Any. Fuckin’. Time–”

“As entertaining as this is,” Tony interjects, the soft haaa when the armor opens up to let him step out, “our host absolutely said no blood, right boys?”

Slowly, weapons lower, but the tension is high in the room, only broken when Bucky points a gloved finger back to the chair Tim was previously in.

(And during the time Tim had spent with the Avengers, none of them knew the Winter Soldier and Red Hood had met before. He’s going to want some details on that little scuffle.)

“Thank-you. I’m glad good manners are winning out over bullshit posturing,” and Tony pours on his media smile, giving Nightwing and the Red Hood something else to look at while Bucky gently finishes up with their vigilante. “Because really. We’re literally all on the same side here. We just happen to go through legal channels to beat the shit out of bad guys. Not as much fun, but you can’t beat the tax breaks.”

“Mmhm, I’m really hoping you aren’t in Gotham as Iron Man, Mr. Stark. You know there are rules about being in this city.”

And Tony would bet his entire fortune Nightwing has a listening device somewhere in that ridiculously tight suit for the Dark Knight to monitor what’s happening in Red Robin’s apartment right this moment.

(Especially the fact they know his civilian identity and are comfortable enough calling him by his real name. They probably aren’t going to be on any Justice League party invites for a while after this. He wonders how Steve is doing with Superman and Wonder Woman right about now.)

“I asked them to come,” Tim interjects, not bothering to glance at either vigilante, “they’re here to help me with a case. My lead is a dead-end, so we’re all going to be out of Gotham as soon as fucking possible. The Batman will have to deal with it.”

Tony hums, crosses his arms over his chest. He meets Bucky’s quick glance, quirks a grin since maybe they could convince him to come to New York instead. Or, if his Plan B is still waiting in the wings, they could do something altogether different.

(There’s a whole floor available in the Tower, and wouldn’t that be some incentive for Tim to get it together and land somewhere more permanent?)

“Tim…” and the wealth of warning there isn’t enough to earn Nightwing the youngest vigilante’s attention after the last gauze pad goes on.

But the youngest of the vigilantes stands from his chair, turns to give them the same fuck you and the zip line you rode in on attitude, “don’t fucking even with me, N.”

“You can’t come to the yearly gathering for one night, but you can pal around with the Avengers?”

And oh! Is that jealousy he hears? Tony has to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep from smirking because wow, Nightwing does not sound very happy.

“It’s none of your fucking business–” and that tension is back in the square of Tim’s bare shoulders, the flex of his forearms.

Tony easily picks up his discarded nerd shirt, pointedly steps between him and the glowering vigilantes, shoves the shirt over the kid’s head and ignores his sputtering.

“I’m sure nothing that would interest you,” Tony makes a point to stay between the two groups, “I mean, you don’t work with Red Robin anymore, right? So he’s a free agent. Believe me, he’s been super helpful with us in New York, I don’t know if we'd all be in the same room without him.”

Tony is being absolutely innocent about it, letting Tim shove his arms in the right places while he grins at the obviously unhappy vigilantes over his shoulder.

The glare Tim levels at him would have probably withered anyone else. Good thing Tony has very, very little shame, and between him and Steve, the best troll in the Avengers award is still undecided. This might just put him over the top. He doesn’t need Bucky to remove his mask to know there’s a smirk underneath.

“I’m sorry, what now?” The whiteouts swing from Tim to Tony, “since when don’t we work together? We only have since you were twelve–”

“And we haven’t since your Robin kicked me the fuck out of my home. I’ve been out of the Cave, out of this city, and out of your life since then, so don’t come here with some attitude about it.” Tim’s eyes slide to the Red Hood. “You two coming here to ask me about the yearlies? Like I’ve been there for the last three? Like I haven’t come back unless someone called me in because, let’s face it, I’m just another body to fight the good fight, right? So this? Acting like I’m just going to forgive and forget? You can both absolutely go fuck yourselves.”

And some tiny part of Tony feels utterly proud in that moment, feels somewhat vindicated at how cold and calm Tim is, how he’s just laying it all out on the table, no bullshit, no contingencies, no taking the high road, no giving in, and it’s so much the Tim he knows, squaring his shoulders and facing both older vigilantes with anger so cold it burns.

“I–I mean, Tim–”

“There is literally nothing you could say right now that I’d want to hear, Nightwing. Nothing. All those years of fighting together, of being partners? I never would have guessed you’d be the one to stab me in the back, but I guarantee you won’t get another chance.”

But, the night gets that much better when Nightwing and the Red Hood gives them the death glare of doom before Tim pretty much kicks them out of his apartment.

Tony isn’t cheering out loud, but wow does he want to.

“Timmy,” Nightwing gives it one last, desperate try, turning at an impossible angle with one leg out the window to face the de-masked vigilante, tone low and serious.

“You’re a few years too late, Nightwing. Now get the fuck out.”

Tim had flicked his hand out behind him, a flat palm telling Tony and Bucky to stay back when he pretty much forced both vigilantes out of his apartment with a sneer of disdain and a promise to set his security protocols to shock the utter fuck out of them if they ever tried to come back to his last hold-over in Gotham. By the way the Red Hood stood shock still, and Nightwing’s frown deepened, they apparently believed him.

While Tim shuts the windows, locking them with finality, Bucky finally pulls off his muzzle and goggles, exchanges a worried glance with Tony when he realizes Tim’s hands are shaking.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Is soft but firm, is obvious Tim is trying to put himself back together.

“Well, as I said earlier–”

“Don’t bullshit me, Tony. There’s no case.”

With how empty and cold Tim sounds, how his hands are fisted at his sides, the tremble going through him, Tony pauses to take in the rest of the signs. He catches Bucky’s eyes and makes an executive decision.

Plan B it is.

“Okay, you’re right. No case. But, what I do have for you is more interesting and important than a case right now. Meaning, I still need your help with it.”

And when the kid finally turns to face him, face them, Tony can see the effects of dealing with Nightwing and the Red Hood in the clench of Tim’s jaw and the way he won’t really meet Tony’s eyes. A distraction is exactly what he needs, a reason to get the hell out of this city before he drowns in his own misery.

Instead, Tony turns his head toward a window, “all right, kid. Time to make your dramatic entrance!”

The super speed never gets old.

Not to mention the fact, Superboy is absolutely adorable when he’s just suddenly there, grabbing Tim around the waist and hugging him a little desperately.

“Oh my God, Kon?!”

Blue eyes blown wide, Tim’s eyes go from the meta-human wrapped around him to Tony’s soft smile to Bucky’s gentle smirk.

“Tim, Tim I can’t– I just! I...I missed you so much, Tim. We all missed you so much,” and Kon-El’s voice is barely a croak, heavy and thick with emotion, his face buried in the side of Tim’s throat, his back hunched over the smaller vigilante. “I needed to see you. Sorry about this, but...I’m not really.”

Like muscle memory, Tim’s brings a hand to the back of his best friend’s neck, making small circles against the tight tendons with his finger tips, still looking more shocked than pissed.

Tony is absolutely going to take it as a win.

**zadnitsa means ass or asshole kind of. Thanks Google Translate :D

#crossover au #tim drake #tony stark #bucky barnes #steve rogers #jason todd #dick grayson #conner kent #winter answers #yet another drabble #my drabble #my writing

[azrcxlfatale]

okay pals I need advice so im gonna put all this under the cut:

so I’ve always struggled with really horrendous periods like since I started having them, they’ve always been immensely painful and heavy and have led to a lot of doctors and hospital appointments trying to find answers I just haven’t been given. today was the worst it’s ever been, and it’s got pretty damn bad before. the first time left me shaking, pale and frail in bed unable to move or breathe properly, the second I passed out in the bath, and this time around felt like utter torture. i woke up this morning to literal exruciating pain so bad I was crying out in agony like I’d been stabbed and just could not stop being sick, which of course only made the pain worse because my stomach lining was being wrenched at and I hadn’t even ate yet. this is nothing new, the pain is always like that if it’s going to be painful. what was new was the fact that I literally could not stop crying out and groaning as if I had actually been impaled by something in my lower stomach for three hours straight. nothing was working to numb it, not hot water bottle, not hot beverage, not water, not a bath, everything was just intensifying it and the pain was so extreme and I was so empty I couldn’t keep painkillers down. (that part happens frequently but normally a hot water bottle or cup of tea or bath will soothe me). I ended up in bed doubled over and whimpering breathless calling my mum and crying and all I could ask was for help and that I needed to go to hospital again. but she couldn’t get back to me from where she was at that time so I was just in agony all alone trying to magically come up with some way to make it stop.

in the end Iuckily I was so physically exhausted that I fell asleep, but god forbid what would’ve happened if I couldn’t sleep through the pain, like how much longer could it have lasted? I was on the verge of passing out already from it. I don’t know if I could’ve endured much more. now I started my period at the age of 12 and I’ve been seeing doctors ever since and I’m nearly 21 now. my doctors want to tell me THIS is normal. I know you can get extremely intense period pain, but I wouldn’t call that normal because nine times out of ten those people are suffering with underlying issues intensifying it too. but like fr? really doctors? it’s normal for your insides to feel like they’re stretching and being stabbed while tearing themselves apart and turning out on themselves? it’s normal to immediately sick up anything you try and eat or drink because pain is so extreme? normal for NOTHING that is a regular method to soothe pain or give some relief to do anything to help or work. and instead of easing it all it does is intensify your hot flush and pain? normal to end up so drained every time of the month that you have no choice but to either nap on and off or pass out from sickness and exhaustion and pain?. I just... know my body, and this does not feel right. it’s akin to polycystic ovaries and I’ve spoken to plenty others in my life about this kind of pain and these symptoms and anyone I’ve spoken to whose had the same has said it ended up being endometriosis or polycystic. now my doctors literally FOUND a cyst last time I went and got looked at but it had burst already from my being so physically sick as well and then they just never followed it up? my aunt whose fairly young still herself, told me that it took until she was 25 for them to actually diagnose her with polycystic ovaries and even then they didn’t give her a solution other than to soldier on with anti sickness tablets and pain relief (I have these things but they’re at my main home and right now I’m at my family one). like I just wish they’d listen to us about our bodies and take us seriously. I’m a whole ass lesbian who has never wanted kids and even if I did one day change my mind I’m well aware for a fact I wouldn’t have children by natural birth, if I’m ever gonna suddenly have the profound need for a child I will find an alternative way bc I hate everything about natural birthing (for me). like I can guarantee these people I do not need my ovaries. but they’ve always refused to take them out (even though they can) because it’s too “big” a decision at my “age”.

I’m just posting all this here because I know some of my dear homo’s here also suffer with really vile periods and I just am desperate for advice at this point on how to move forward if anyone has any because I cannot keep on like it. like I used to miss so much school in secondary and college because of it and now at university level in my third year and soon potentially with a career I can’t carry on doing what I’m doing to cope and expect to not have my academic life take large blows because of it.

#( ooc ; out of charisma ) #somethin gotta give my good peeps #this is hell like hell is my body

[thewheezingbubbledragon]

It has occurred to me that Tumblr can be a void with friends so my problems arent unheard, but they are out I my head

Hey howdy poodle, it's me, snickerdoodle.

What's good my fellows.

Compadres.

Amigos.

Frendos.

Frens.

Howdy.

I am very glad you exist.

Thank you for existing and caring for me.

I love you so much.

Bless you.

Thank you.

I am coming down from a 12 hour panic attack/mental shutdown/depressive episode where I was nonverbal for 8.5 hours, and when I finally started calming down I had to speak with people and stand up and walk and make food for 2 hours. So all in all. Not great.

But better.

Anywho, so There Is A Reason for my inactivity.

I mean, there are several, but theyre all highly personal and meh.

So my fam and I spent the last.. 2 months? Or more? Moving 1800 miles across the country. We have 99% of all our stuff in one (1) storage unit that is still at our old town. (We took 1 suitcase and several bags of our stuff. That is it. For months or maybe even a year. Clothes and stuff included.) I had to leave my desktop BUT I have a laptop.

I mean it's literally held together by tape and can't be unplugged and overheats faster than Satan's flambe kitchen in high summer, but it works and I can write so it's mostly good I guess?

And I have my (bad and outofservice) phone, AND ALSO AN AMAZING TABLET SOME FRIENDS COLLABORATED AND BOUGHT FOR ME AND I CAN DRAW ON IT AND I ALREADY HAVE SO MANY PICTURES I CANNOT WAIT TO POST THEM RKSLDNNFJSLSMJFKSLSKDBJDJSKSNDJPAMAJEK

But.

We... Kinda have been living in a hotel for... What, 9? Days? Bc my parents cant find a place to move to in the city we're in, and the fact I am basically Tiny Tim with art skills and a good leg doesnt help...

Anyways.

Tumblr is a silly fun way to escape reality but I dont have the energy or mental capacity or time to respond to people if they tag me (unless it's 1 sentence or less but that is still pushing it) or write or anything or even post.

I havent been sleeping well, (lol thanks asthma, allergies, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and altitude y'all are doin amazing) and I had to leave my entire irl friendgroup back home. A lot of them dont have Instagram or ways for me to contact them aside from texting.

We moved to my previous home when I was very small, but it took me almost 12 years to finally feel like I was home. And that was because of the people I met and cherished and loved. I finally had a support network.

And then I got the news we were moving 1800 miles away.

I have left the life i've spent 12 years rebuilding. Heyhey, depression when did you get here? 16 years ago? Dandy.

Long story short, i've been through all the stages of grief already but I'm still on shakey ground. (The anger stage was the fastest? Bc I dont get angry? Except at people who are genuinely bad or disrespectful towards their audience for no reason other than petty revenge or ego. I'm talking about Thomas Austruc, in case it wasnt obvious. Friggin Miraculous...) I accepted what happened, and have accepted it since about 2 weeks after I heard. I accept and adjust to things quickly and easily. Doesnt mean I like it, but I can and do adjust my mindset and lifestyle to the winds of life.

Kinda sucks at times tbh.

Bc my brain shoves the whole messy business of 'processing' side to acknowledge and move on.

Anyways, that's not the point.

Point is, I am mentally royally screwed atm. I am not medicated for any I my issues, (ADD, major depression, multiple severe anxiety issues, to name just a few of the 'nom-physical' issues) which means life is about a billion times harder to exist in. So in short: my online status will be steady but my posts? Only time will tell.

I would like to apologize for everyone who follows me @un-romancible-npc for my Chance Maribat MariDami/Daminette AU, I am working on it, but I'm also aware of my own issues right now. And I can get about... 500 words a week at the most? Because we're so busy and I'm studying for my driver's test (several years late sadly but when you can barely afford food every month it isnt as much of a concern. Dont worry, we're better off now but it's still a struggle.) and organizin everything at home, and looking after my 2 younger siblings and my big bro, who is currently practically bed-ridden and puking his guts out. Basically... I am very sorry but I cant work on it. I CAN get a snippet out once I finish the freaking 'Mari meets everyone in the lobby' scene. I havr almost 3k words for that and some stuff that follows but the friggin LOBBY SCENE I SWEAR TO PASTA--

Anyways.

Yeah.

That's why I've been gone...

HEY HOWDY HEY NOW IT'S TIME TO TAG EVERYONE I LOVE VERY MUCH AND CANNOT COMMUNICATE WITH PROPERLY BC I'VE BEEN BUSY BUT I READ ALL YOUR POSTS AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH THANK YOU FOR TAGGIN ME IN ALL THE STUFF I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE ALL GORGEOUS / HANDSOME / STUNNING AND I LOVE YOU

@rogueinkglitch

@im-here-for-the-content

@kceedraws

@da-tasuky

@lady-charinette

@hetalia-lover-is-here

IF I'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR BLOG NAME I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE KNOW I STILL LOVE YOU I JUST CANNOT REMEMBER NAMES

I WOULD FORGET MY OWN NAME IF PEOPLE DIDNT CALL ME BY IT ALL THE TIME

#personal? #personal #Thank you all so much for existing #and being patient with me. #bless you. for real. #chance au #chance update #life update #sorry guys #sorry for this #it's not my fault i know... #but it is still rough

[dawnowar]

Been on my January Diet for a week

I’m counting calories this time because I got so sick of WW that I just plain wasn’t doing it anymore for long enough i may as well save my $$$$. I’m eating sugar again (in limited quantities) and i couldn’t be happier. It’s not hard sticking to this at all and im just wearing my fitbit and trying to burn more calories than I eat. 

So i got a Planet Fitness membership cause its cheap in addition to my regular Jazzercise classes which i go to almost every day. The days I don’t go are usually Saturday cause theres only morning classes and I go out Friday nights and sleep through them... and Thursdays cause im in a different part of town and if i rush over, i get the worst instructor and if i go home and eat first I don’t get up. 

I’ve had gym memberships before and i mostly dont use them because if theres not a time to show up and instructor instructing me, i dont do any actual exercise, but PF is great especially for the price. You’re sure to get screwed out of a month’s money when you finally decide to cancel because you will inevitably cancel on the wrong day but thats hardly a tragedy and you can still use the memebership up until you’re really canceled.

As far as using it goes, the gym is friendly and clean and cheap and safe which is all my fave things. I signed up for a “class” which turned out to be a small group w a trainer for half an hour, but since i was the only one signed up, he gave me a personal training session for about 45 min. Said its like that at this location and if you sign up at a not-busy time you can basically get free personal training on the regular. 

Sounded good and then i woke up sore the next day! LOL and it was Thursday so instead of rushing across town to the bad Jazzercise instructor, I did an at home yoga class.. I got a groupon for $15 for a year subsciption to Yoga Collective where you can stream yoga classes and do em in your house. 

The price was right even if i only use it once, that’s about the price of a drop-in class in these here parts, but i was bummed to find out there’s no Roku channel for Yoga Collective, so i bought a chromecast for $35 so I can stream these workouts on my TV.

Even still, i have to use the Google Home app to mirror my tablet to stream it but it does it and it’s great and im sure i’m glad i bought it. I love Yoga but its really too damn expensive. The cheap yoga places memberships are $75 a month (the expensive ones are $100) and i’m already paying somewhere around $55/mo for Jazzercise. Used to have both when they were both $50 a month but going over the $100 a month mark for exercise seems like a lot to me. I may change my mind because i miss real Yoga.

But seriously, why does yoga cost that much im not really sure. 

So the Chromecast, for the record, does a great job streaming YouTube where the Roku channel is a nightmare. That alone might be worth the $35 i spent for it. 

Meanwhile I’m feeling thinner. Maybe not stronger just yet but after spending most of this Fall sick in bed with colds and sore throats and sinus infections, I not only gained 10-15 lbs but i got weak and flabby so it feels great to be back in action. I’m not quite at the fitness level i was at before, but I’m way closer to it than I was around Thanksgiving when I got sick for i think the 5th time and relented to just having to not worry about it during the Holidays and just know I’m going on a January diet. 

I really wanted to. The holidays seemed endless and I just felt fatter and flabbier as they went on and on...  so i got back on track pretty easily.

I’m weighing myself once a week on Mondays. Any more than that makes me a little crazy. Spent, i dont know.. decades.. trying to figure out how to not let the number on that scale decide how i felt about myself. 

I’m there which is great. I have a long and terrible relationship with my scale and I’ve found that I basically can’t weigh myself because i get obsessed with what number it gives me. Also i swear that number is +/- 4lbs at any given time..and because I’m talking about having 15 lbs to lose....that can really send me into some bad place quickly if i get a high number when I step on.

anyway its taken me DECADES to ignore the scale. and just do the thing where i watch what i eat and exercise. But ive also found that i have to weigh myself sometimes or I have no real confirmation if what im doing it doing any real good or not. Even weekly weigh ins seem counter-productive sometimes when I know what ive done and the number isnt gonna be good. Sometimes I gain when I do everything right. Which is the madding part. They’re good about not being judgy at WW but I hate that they still make you weigh in and they still put the focus on the scale even though they act like they aren’t doing that.. but you don’t make lifetime for creating healthy habits, you earn it by keeping your weight under a certain number and keeping it there. 

If you fall off, then basically they start charging you again. Which is reasonable. They don’t kick you out or shame you or anything but this program is about numbers, make no mistake. 

Anyway i learned a lot in my on/off WW time about how to just not diet in secret and not be ashamed of it cause literally everybody has struggles with their weight and if they don’t, they’re the weird one, not you. And getting on the scale isn’t terrible at all if you don’t let the number you see rule you. Because whatever it says you’re gonna keep eating right and exercising, and if you don’t you’ll start again tomorrow. and if you keep doing that you’ll get where you want to be eventually. 

I’m loving the exercise. Now that I’m active i want to do even more stuff but my body isn’t cooperating just yet. It wants to rest. I know i need to rest but my brain is so ready to do this. 

My knees also didn’t get the memo but theyre holding up well. Years of exercising w arthritic knees and ive figured out what not to do the hard way mostly already and im so much stronger than i ever was, but i still have problems sometimes and im trying to be careful.

My heel is swollen. It does that sometimes and i have to stay off it, but im not going to. This is an old injury that never healed right from about 5 1/2 yrs ago so it probably will never be any better than it is now. Its Yoga funny enough that messes it up worst for all the weight bearing one-legged moves. But i’ve got Tuli’s heel cups or heel cushions of some variety in all my shoes and yoga jellies and extra padding for my already-thick mat and its getting better while I’m still exercising so i’m not stopping, but i did ride a bike at PF the other day instead of doing weight-bearing cardio. 

I’m just trying to do something every day, and burn a certain amount of calories per day and eat less calories than that. Should work out. 

[doux-ciel]

Gift of life. Unwanted Conversations

A/N: I literally don’t have a reason as to why I haven’t posted this chapter in a while, but the point is its here!!!! Also Happy Love Day AKA (A made up holiday) ANYWAYS!! Hope you all enjoy this chapter I’m working on the next chapter I promise...it should be out by the end of the month. *Possibly March* 

Tagged: @youngdumbxlit @cvlms @jess---writes @jadeswritinggarden @bambimattel @requiemdelune @writing-under-the-stars @bzrtales @viviscreams @thewriterkatie @erinisawriter @seraphilth @godxblooded

*Im going to have a link to my post in which it asks if you want to be tagged in my WIP’S* 

If so click here -> ✨✨✨

*Let me know if you want to be added or removed*

If you want to re-read the first chapter over again you can click here -> 

🖤 🖤 🖤

Harmony while skating on the ice, makes her way towards the exit of the rink. While placing her skates on the concrete surface she shouts out to the young girls to follow. “You girls did amazing today, tomorrow we are going to practice sit spinning”

Adalynn who was third in line to exit exclaims while raising her fist in the air, “Sit spinning!! Yay!!”

After every student exited the skating rink and took off their skates; Harmony flashes everyone a beaming smile. “Can we all give our new instructor Yesenia a big penguin huddle”

All of the girls gather around me placing their arms around my torso. I rest my head on the top of one of the girls heads. I squeeze my arms embracing everyone. “It was a pleasure teaching you girls today!”

“Bye Miss Harmony!” The girls waved goodbye as they sat down on the benches and began to take their skates off.

As I untie my laces to the ice skates I wince as I slide the skates off my sore feet. My eyes focusing on the floor beneath me. I hear Harmony who was now right beside me, “So how was your first week on the ice with these little rascals?”

Giving Harmony a smile I answer. “I'm so happy that I get the opportunity to do this for the rest of the year….although it would help If I actually got paid to do this.”

Harmony chuckles while stretching her arms up towards the ceiling. “Broke college student syndrome huh?”

“Definitely and it doesn't help that my financial aid paperwork didn’t get submitted….but I have a solution”

“Which is?” Harmony inquires.

“Miss Harmony?” A mother of one of the girls comes up to us.

Harmony looks down at the young girl that was next to her mother. Looking back up at the mother she holds her hand out to shake. “Hi yes you must be Ferrah’s mother nice to meet you, Yesenia just give me a moment.”

After getting out of that unwanted conversation with the Ice skating coach Harmony; I walk over to the office where my bag and personal contents lay. As I’m taking off my socks I notice a red blister start to form on my right heel. I wince as I examine it, touching it lightly.

I haven’t skated in a couple months and boy was it showing, I knew my skates were a little tight but I didn’t think I needed to go out and buy a new pair.

Sighing, I place my now sore foot down on the cold tile floor. All of a sudden I hear my phone ringing. I don’t recognize the number but I answer anyways.

I immediately hear a woman’s voice on the phone,“Hi this is Kim from Gifting Miracle’s I was wanting to speak with a Yesenia Cervantes?”

I was caught off guard, I didn’t think they would call this soon. It’s only been a couple days but I was happy the company called me back. I answer, “This is she”

Kim’s voice was bubbly, “Oh great, well I was calling to set up an appointment with you to meet?”

I was smiling so hard I thought my face would crack, I can’t wait to tell Nova that I booked an appointed to potentially be a surrogate and get the check that comes with it. I then tell her that next week on a Tuesday is ideal, since I only have a 12 p.m. lecture and I’m free for the rest of the day. While I hear her on the other end typing my information in the computer I realize; I don’t even know where these people are located. I then ask Kim, “Where are you all located?”

Kim clears her throat and says the address as if she memorized it off a script, “389 Riley Drive, its going to be the building on the end of the street.”

While trying to repeat the address in my head I was also trying to find piece of paper in the office but my eyes weren’t spotting anything. “Hold on I need to write that down”

Kim says she will hold and I dig in my bag, grabbing a napkin from the pocket that holds all of my miscellaneous items. I then spot a pen on the desk I quickly grab it and ask her to repeat the address again. She happily does so; even though the napkin is somewhat damp I write the address down. Placing the napkin on the arm of the chair I’m sitting in.

I quickly thank Kim for being so patient and we say our goodbyes. I hop out the chair, not even worrying about my sore foot; I start to do a little victory dance in the 10x15 space. Not even 3 seconds later I open my eyes and the napkin is gone.

“Shit” I whisper to myself, as I’m scanning the ground to look for the slightly damp and now probably dirty napkin. I can’t wrap my brain on how I lost the napkin in 2.5 seconds but I have to find it.

I’m on my hands and knees; I look out the office door only to see the feet of the various people walking by. Some of the students laughing at me and the mom’s/dad’s of the girls probably puzzled as to why I’m on the floor in the first place.

My eyes now scanning the floor of the lobby, I spot it.

Not only is it underneath somebody’s feet, its underneath the feet of Natasia Monterro. I rise up from my prior position on the office floor, now walking with no shoes on to retrieve my napkin.

Natasia bends down to pick up my napkin, her eyes narrow observing the piece of linen she slowly rises back up. I stand on the lobby carpet waiting, my eyes travel up and down her body examining her attire. A cream colored blouse, brown slacks and a nice shade of nude lipstick. My eyes focus on her hands, a bit blotchy; some discoloring in the skin but her nails look amazing. The polish is Icy blue perfect for the winter weather we are experiencing.

She finally realizes I’m standing in front of her, Natasia’s brown eyes slightly puffy looking like from lack of sleep look down upon my petite frame. “Is this yours?”

“Yes” I nod.

She hands me the napkin, afterwards she brings out some hand sanitizer from her purse. Placing a few drops on her hands, her eyebrows knit together as she puts her left index finger just below her lips. “Serena?” She points to me.

“Its Yesenia” I remind her.

“Anyway! How was today”

I give her a tight lipped smile while focusing my eyes on my napkin reading over the address. I bring my free hand grabbing some hair; that was falling into my face tucking it behind my ear. “It was hectic but it was fun teaching the girls”

I hear her voice sightly, taking on a more silvery tone. While placing her hand on my left shoulder she says. “That must be an important address, you were running after it like it was a $100 dollar bill”

I slowly remove her hand from my shoulder, my eyes looking at hers while my voice is low. “Well it could be my ticket to freedom”

I slightly jump when her granddaughter Adalynn comes running from behind me and stops right near Natasia’s feet. “I found my gloves Grandma!” Adalynn’s cheeks are now a nice shade of red, while holding up her Princess Elsa gloves.

She promptly grabs the 8 year olds hand, “Come on lets go.” Turning around to exit the building, she shifts her purse from her forearm to her shoulder while waving goodbye to all the other parents following right behind her.

I see her open the back seat of a very expensive looking truck placing Adalynn on the right side. While another man with a suit on comes from the driver's seat, grabbing Adalynn’s bag and placing it on the other side of the truck. Swiftly moves to open the passengers side door to let Natasia in the truck, they drive away.

“She definitely comes from money” I whisper to myself.

Just then I hear Nova call out to me. “Yesenia?” Why don’t you have on shoes?”

I laugh while peering down at my bare feet. “Don’t ask” I playfully roll my eyes as I run back to the office to grab my bag and follow her out the door to get into her Volkswagen beetle.

After bringing Adalynn back to her parents home, I just couldn’t do anything for the rest of the day. So I told the help to leave me be and I would be in my piano room. I was just messing around with my piano, while playing I remember when I was 14 and just learning how to play.

My own mother would want me to play in front of guests and of course every night after dinner. Even though I was no good, eventually I got better with practice of course and the right teacher; by the time I was 23 I was playing with the Chicago Symphony.

Taking a deep breath I focus back on playing when someone interrupts me, opening the door. I throw my shoe at the body not realizing its my life partner Wallace.

He is quick but the shoe hits him in the shoulder, he chuckles as he picks up the shoe. Wearing a grey turtleneck, some black slacks and only white socks he walks up to me bending down on one knee. Placing my house shoe on my right foot, I bend down kissing him softly on his cheek. “Wallace honey can you bring me some tea?”

Rising up from his prior position his eyebrows raise, “What kind do you want?”

“Chamomile would be just fine.” I say while sliding to the right to get up from my piano bench. I saunter over to my cream colored velvet chaise I have sitting in front of one of my many 1920 arched ceiling to floor windows. Looking out into the outside world, seeing the snow pile up on my green grass. I remind myself later to tell my maid Jenny to tell the contractor to come back tomorrow morning and shovel the snow from my property.

After a few minutes of waiting, I see Wallace out of the corner of my eye with a teacup in one hand and his tablet in the other. I grab the handle of the cup and bring my lips up the edge taking a slow sip. “How was your day?” I ask him while he sits at the edge of my feet.

“It was gruesome as usual, I’m actually getting sick of these people leaving us with the blood bath” He grumbles while looking down at his tablet.

“Well that’s apart of your job, I saw what that girl wrote on the napkin it looks like she’s with the agency. Did you handle the other thing I told you about?”

He nods, pressing on his tablet he brings it closer to me. I reach over to the side table that holds my reading glasses placing them on my face; I begin to read the file he has made on Yesenia Cervantes. “Yeah, she went to juvie couple times here and there but since she graduated high school her record has been spotless. No drugs, she drinks a little other than that she seems like a damn good-”

“Wallace!” I gasp at his use of profanity.

He quickly apologizes while taking the tablet away from me. “I mean she seems like an appropriate woman for the job.”

I take another sip of the tea, it was way too strong  I clear my throat before looking up at him. Reaching out to him I place my hand on his upper leg. “Great, I’ll have to tell Charlotte and Nathaniel tomorrow morning after church, it’s a shame that my sons wife can’t carry a child on her own because of her dreadful disorder….I hope she doesn’t mind that I’m taking matters into my own hands.”

Wallace taking a hold of my hot tea, places it on the coaster on top of the end table. He makes his way towards me as I meet him halfway and grab his calloused hands. He squeezes them tight, his eyes looking around the room as he sighs. “When are we going to tell them about our engagement?”

His eyes finally meets mines, but it’s safe to say I wasn’t expecting that at all from him. I tilt my chin up letting out a breath. “You know how Nathaniel is with you, I don’t want to throw everything at him at once”

“He can handle it Nastasia….he’s not 5 you know”

“I know that but he’s still my little boy, I don’t want to stress him out, he already has to deal with Charlotte and her stuff.”

Wallace stands up and reaches for something in his pocket.

A ring

My ring.

He murmurs lowly, “I think-“

I start to fan myself with my right hand, all of a sudden the room felt like it was very hot and I couldn’t catch my breath. “I said I need time, do you think we can wait a little bit longer”

Wallace slowly walks over to me, taking my left hand and places the ring on my finger, bending down he softly kisses my cheek. “Not too long, I want you to be completely mines”

I slowly nod while I look down at the 18K white gold band with a decently sized diamond in the center. “I know sweetie….now give me some more honey, you made it too strong”

Wallace immediately tends to my request. “Yes dear”

As he grabs the cup and exits my piano room I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in. Examining the ring on my finger again I feel my eyes start to burn. I look up at my chandelier which hangs from the ceiling. Closing my eyes trying to stop the tears from falling I think back to that day.

The day my first husband died.

My heart starts to race fast, and my mind is spinning. I place my right hand on my forehead rubbing it to try and calm myself down. Shaking my head from side it side, my eyes open and they automatically go to the ring on my left hand. I don’t think twice before taking it off. Placing the ring on top of the ottoman near the fireplace, minutes go by and I go back to my piano and start playing again.

This time I made sure I locked the door.

Coming home after a long day at work opening my front door and hearing screams from my daughter and her friends, also shouting from wife could either be a good or a bad thing. It made my heart stop as Charlotte raised her voice at Adalynn. But it was quickly followed by 3 little girls giggling. I absolutely had no idea what I was walking into.

Just as I turn the corner to where the ruckus is coming from, I come face-to-face with it - literally. I take a step back after bumping into Charlotte and look to see her face is covered in different shades of eyeshadow and there’s lipstick across her cheek. I cover my mouth to stop from bursting into laughter.

“What’s happened here?” I question. Charlotte is scowling at me as I’m trying my hardest to not laugh. “I have one late meeting and I’ve missed the drag makeup session huh?” I tease my wife, who rolls her eyes in response.

“I only wanted to have them look at my makeup vanity but two YouTube videos later and it ended up being a makeup tutorial” Charlotte states, in a high pitched whiny tone. “You know I can’t say no to Adalynn and then that darn Ashley pinned me down to the couch and now I look like this” she explains in full dramatics. I roll my eyes at her and set down my briefcase by the couch, stepping away from my wife. My daughter and her friends leave whatever hiding place they were at and come running towards me bombarding me with questions.

“Doesn’t mommy look beautiful, daddy?” My eldest daughter, asks while her friend Ashley laughs at Charlotte some more.

“Oh, she looks sexy,” I grin.

“What’s sexy?” Adalynn asked.

“Another version of pretty honeybun” Charlotte answers while chuckling.

“I-I put the-the lipstick on her” Adalynn’s other friend Ginger stutters out the words but ends with a big grin.

“I did the pink!” Adalynn shouts, she pulls on my jacket sleeve in order to get my attention.

“You all did great it,” I say as I bend down to hug my daughter hello, I give her a kiss on her cheek. Rising up from my kneeled position I turn back around to look at Charlotte, I chuckle as I notice the sparkly pink eyeshadow on her eyebrows. She sticks her tongue out at me but it then turns into a fit of laughter.

“Bathe time for the dirty piggies” I hear my wife say as she picks Adalynn up, making her squeal when she flips her upside down carrying her by her ankles. She motion the girls to follow. “Don’t make me have to bring out the tickle monster” as she is walking towards the stairs; my eyes settle on the mess that is Charlotte's face. I chuckle once more and I walk towards the hallway that leads to my office.

After Adalynn and her friends were put down to bed and were supposed to be asleep. I can still hear them on the baby monitor we placed in her room and the other one in my office. I was finishing my leftover lasagna, made by my lovely wife. I was working on a new software update coding, when I hear the news reporter on the T.V. screen in front of me. “Cyber hacking is taking over the country by storm, more from Sasha at 9.”

Turning off the television not wanting to hear what the news report was saying I place the remote on my desk. Resting my elbows on the surface of my desk; I blink my eyes tired from my work day. I knew I needed sleep but I couldn’t bring myself to go upstairs and just relax my mind and rest. As my eyes are closed I’m currently thinking about the meeting next Wednesday when I smell the scent of Charlotte's perfume.

She places her soft hands around my chest, “Honey...you busy?”

Clearing my throat I turn around my chair to face her. I examine her attire, wearing a long sleeved silk nightshirt her legs exposed. Her face has no traces of the makeup that adorned her face just an hour ago. I take my hands and place them on either side of her thigh, giving her a lazy smile.  “Uh no, no I'm just finishing up.”

She takes a seat on my lap while placing her left arm around the back of my chair. “Great, I wanted to talk to you about what your mother suggested the other day when we were having the church brunch.”

Rolling my eyes I go back to that day. “Yeah I know...I just think she should’ve came to us first before practically choosing somebody for us.”

Kissing my cheek she answers, “Well she hasn't chosen anybody Nathaniel she just recommended someone. I understand she broke a ton of laws but she also did that with me remember? When we started seeing each other, before I even put my foot through your front door she knew things about me I didn’t even know”.

“Charlotte don’t-”

“This girl seems clean, plus she needs money.”

“Charlotte what about the people at Gifting Miracles? Didn’t you and mom go over there and speak with them about their services.?”

Sighing Charlotte replies, “Yes but they seemed so...detached you know? Like all they wanted was our money and it was just a business thing for them.”

I scrunch my eyebrows together while placing both my hands outwards, “Newsflash!! It is a business thing, its a company…..I just don't want this to blow up in our faces.”

Charlotte's lips form a pout as she crosses her arms in front of her. “I’ve met her a couple of times Nathaniel, she volunteers at Adalynn’s ice skating. She doesn't get paid for it Nathaniel, she’s already signed up to be a surrogate at Gifting Miracle’s we just have to convince her to go with us.”

I shake my head side to side, placing my index finger on my forehead and my thumb on my cheek. I start to feel the vein in my forehead protruding. “I don't know...we will have to meet her. What about the other candidates?”

Nodding she agrees with my suggestion.Taking a hold of my face giving me an Eskimo kiss. “Of course we will meet her, nothing is set in stone. Your mother and I looked at the other candidates….trust me I think you will like her.”

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes when I remember after my morning meeting I received a call from Charlotte's mother. Whom she doesn't want to contact. I tap her thigh letting her know to get up. I start to rise up from my chair, “Your mother called my office again”

Just then her whole mood changes, I see her back stiffen up and her mouth form a straight line. She waits for me to meet her at the door that leads out into the hallway. “I thought we blocked her number from your office phone”

“I know, but you know her...she finds a way to wiggle her way back into your life”

I get to the entrance of the door and as I shut off the light; I place my arm around her as we head upstairs to the master bedroom.

Charlotte grumbles, “It's not like she was in my life to begin with”

“Charlotte she’s your mother, our daughters grandmother. I know you don't want to hear it again but-”

Charlotte starts to raise her voice but realizes the girls are close by and lowers her tone, while viciously taking the pillows and throwing them on the chair near our bed. “But what Nathaniel? I should give her a second chance?!”

Taking my work clothes off I'm starting to get agitated because I didn't come home to argue with my wife. I go to the bathroom and turn the shower on waiting for the water to warm up, I shout from the bathroom. “I'm just suggesting that we slowly bring her back into our lives...for the sake of the family”

I hear Charlotte scoff before shouting back. “If she thinks she’s ever gonna be apart of this family, she's got another thing coming.”

#writing #writers #My writing #creative writing #Black Writers #writeblr #wip #my wips #Current WIP #Gift of life #the suspense #thriller #horror #motherhood #babies #secret #creative #creepy #Crime #secrets #lies #Aesthetic #poc author #POC #pyscholgical #pyschopath #mystery #my art #romance #story

[wynndygoon]

1st Anniversary!

This will be sort of a recap post encompassing all of what has happened over this first year. So get ready, this will be a long post!

I started this blog shortly after I got my drawing tablet as a means to try and get better at using the damn thing. Needless to say, I think that it has been more than a success and has also been an amazing opportunity to meet all of you amazing people who have gotten invested in Noma and what she is and who she is as a character. And, while this past year hasn’t been perfect, it has been a wondorous experience filled with laughs and new bonds that frankly, I never would have made otherwise. Same goes to me trying out new things such as streaming, downloading Discord, and just flat out putting my art out there in this world for people to see and hopefully fall in love with.

So this whole blog, and the lady we all know and love, Noma, wouldn’t have been here if it weren’t for chance. If you are new or never read the post explaining her past, the short version is: I had a Blaziken that hatched from an Egg in pokemon Black. It was a female, and I named her Noma, and it turned out that she had a bunch of good EV’s and IV’s, so I used her a lot through the game. Well when X and Y came out, I got the launch event Torchic that had better stats than Noma, so in a stupid move, I wonder Traded her away, hoping that someone else would like her just as much as I did. Fast forward a few months before I started this blog, and one of my friends traded me a bunch of pokemon since he didn’t really play much anymore. Long story short, he traded me back Noma. So while I had this idea about starting a pokemon ask blog, I never knew which pokemon i wanted to use, until Noma popped back into my life. As soon as that happened, I knew I had to make her my character.

So next came the design phase, and while I never was amazing at creating characters, I knew that I had to try and make her look unique to stand out from the crowd. And When I say unique, i think I went a bit too overboard with her, but at least we can still tell she is a blaziken, right? Anyways, I knew that I wanted to make her somewhat Tomboy-ish, while still having her be feminine as to not confuse people. I also knew that one easy way to accomplish this was to make her a little more fluffy and poofy, so believe it or not, I started with her hair design and went from there. I knew that if i could nail the hair, then everything would kinda fall into place. So that is why she has just SO MUCH HAIR, because form a design point, it was necessary. Also, making her wear clothes would help her stand out seeing as many poke-ask blogs leave their characters nude. Speaking of which, I am going to address something about Noma right here: SHE DOESN’T HAVE BOOBS ALRIGHT. I know it looks like she does, but since she has so many feathers and is very fluffy, wearing clothes would be difficult. So what she has to do is stuff her chest fluff into her tank tops, and purely because there is so much of it, it lumps up under the shirt. So all the people asking to see Noma’s “Chicken Breasts” ( those were some real asks BTW), sorry, no luck there.

________________________________________________________________

                   THIS SECTION IS ALL OF MY FAVORITE ASKS AND                                           REDESIGNS OF NOMA

So, now that I have the character created, It’s time to draw her and make a post on here. Im not gonna lie, that first night was nerve wracking. I didn’t have the slightest clue as to what was going to happen, if anyone would see the post, or hell, if anyone would like it.

But here she is, the main attraction in her first appearance on the blog. Happy, inviting, and not nearly as fluffy as what she is now. For some of you newer followers, yes, this is how it all began. Notice that she isn’t as tall, or fluffy, or as vibrant as what you know her as, but yes, this is what everyone saw for a couple of months while I started out. This WAS her design.

So, with this outta the way, it’s time to answer some asks, but to do that, I had to think of her personality. So, I just made her personality be fun. someone who can be sassy, sarcastic, kind, loveable, and genuinely nice. It’s up to you to decide o how well that comes across though.

This ask was: “Why are you such a Boss Ass Blaziken?” and this is where I went into her story in a little more detail and made it feel more like a story rather than a simple explanation of events. It was  the first question I got and I had a lot of fun working on it because at least one person took the time out of their day to send me something.

Here is Noma explaining her Favorite Region that she has been to. And this was kind of a first for the blog since we got to see what she looked like below the crop top. And yes, its just a crop top with her chest fluff stuffed into it. Take note how much shorter she was when I started this blog. Like, I never realized this before, but for a blaziken, she was a midget. Also, can we just ignore some of the glaring anatomy issues here? I was still kinda working on her design here.

And here we reach the first Big re-design of Noma. While not much besides her hair changed, this was the part of her life that she started dyeing her hair different colors to make her design more unique. She also has a bit more of a neck and her hands are also more suited to a blaziken’s with the gray part instead of all red like the first post. In this ask, she was answering what her favorite past times are. Out of all the asks that I have done so far back then, THIS was my favorite to work on, just changing up her hair style felt so refreshing and  honestly makes her look so much different.

THIS. FREAKING. ASK. this was the one that started a bunch of people to harass me to essentially draw nsfw of Noma. At the time of answering this ask, I was midway through a show called Panty and Stocking, go check it out if you haven’t, it’s hilarious and really good. But the ask was: “What is your favorite hairstyle?” So I decided to have a little fun and I started out just drawing the hair to make the reference to Panty and Stocking, but I thought that nobody would actually catch the reference, so I decided to go big or go home and reference the entire character of Scanty. If only I knew what kind of hell I would have unleashed for the next few months. Despite all of the perverted asks and messages I received, this was an insanely fun ask to draw, and it was also a challenge to try and recreate Scanty, but in a Blaziken form. Also, notice how her hands reverted back to red. I never said I was consistent.

So that slightly NSFW ask was the last actual drawing i posted for quite a while because then, I started college and was so nervous and scared and focused on doing well that i just didn’t have time to draw or play video games because of all the stress. I would literally wake up, go to school, go to work, come home, and sleep. and that was it. My next few posts actually weren’t Noma related, so I won’t cover them.

This was the first ask I had for ASK MAGIC which had Noma’s type change to water for 3 asks. Each of these weren’t all that exciting, but I am including this here because it was a milestone for the blog that NO ONE HAS USED SINCE! HINT HINT.

This wasn’t an ask, just a drawing idea I had for Halloween. She is still rocking her crazy hair with 3 different colors now and frankly, I have no idea what I was thinking giving her a rooster comb AND and ponytail, but hey, it works. SO if you couldn’t tell she went as a rooster for Halloween and her hands also magically changed back to red. But she also dyed her chest fluff in the shape of a heart which was another small design change.

HERE SHE IS THE FIRST MAJOR REDESIGN THAT ACTUALLY CHANGED SOME STUFF ABOUT HER. First of all, she doesn’t have the weird red neck that she had that just made her chest fluff look glued on, her fluff is on the entirety of her neck, and her neck is now longer, giving here a taller appearance. I also changed the look of her chest fluff to look like it surrounds her from behind also, and I changed the fluff on her face here too. Sure they may not be the biggest changes, but they made her a hell of a lot easier to draw and i think made her look better overall too.

This is just a better look of her, and is also my icon. See how she looks less like a midget and more graceful? The re-design was for the greater good.

This ask was SUPER fun: “My last ask was mean, but if you could choose any other type, what would it be”. This was when i could encompass all of what made Noma, Noma. The new redesign looks flawless, and we actually got to see an almost full body drawing of Noma. Glaring anatomy issues aside, I still really think that this was one of my better works of Noma.

I had a Thanskgiving ask set aside to put here, but I am really not too proud of that one, and also because it was during the time when I lost my grandmother, so I’m just going to leave it out so I don’t get too emotional about it.

You think I would have learned my lesson about showing Noma in anything REMOTELY NSFW, but nope, here we have her in her underwear. The ask was: “I am liking this new look!”  and yeah, I tried to go for a cheap visual gag, not only in the fact that she isn’t decent, but also in the name of her boxers. American Eagle in the pokemon world would more than likely be Unovan Braviary, like come on, that’s comedy silver at best.

Look at this Eye-sore. I tried to do a candy cane look wit her hair, but I think it fell flat and looks too busy. But the Ask was: “Do you have any jewelry?” While this doesn’t look as good as I hoped it would have, this was certainly a lot of fun to draw.

This was my absolute favorite non-ask post to draw because i used my actual ugly christmas sweater to design hers. I know the perspective is off here, but that is purely because of the angle I took the picture at.

THIS COMIC WAS AN ABSOLUTE BLAST TO DRAW, PLUS IT ALSO INTRODUCED NOMA’S LOVE INTEREST, EM, WHICH IS STILL A PART OF THIS BLOG SO SEND HIM SOME ASKS PLEASE. ALSO I DO NOT OWN EM, HE IS A CHARACTER OF BANANAMUTTBREAD, SO GO GIVE HIM A FOLLOW, HE IS AN AMAZING PERSON.

This was a difficult drawing to do, not because of the characters, but because of the shading and lighting, and yes, I know, its not the best, But I am still very proud of it nonetheless. But, yeah, this is a mash up of Lethal League which is an amazing game and Noma. The reason I chose Candyman to draw, was because he was simple, and because he is a pain in the ass to fight against.

By this point in the blog’s life, I had just bought my dog Bella, and started a new semester at college. With my toughest classes all piled on top of each other, i didn’t have much time to draw, so there wasn’t much to be posted then. However, I did introduce a new character, not a pokemon, but instead a bee character I came up with. Her name is Grain, and she is super cute, so go check out the art i made of her!

With me posting again halfway through last semester, the first ask I got was about Noma’s hairstyle. To be honest, I have no idea what kind of style that is, so let’s just move on.

Oh boy, my first piece i did on stream. This was another small redesign I did just to get back into the swing of redrawing Noma and making sure I could remember how to draw her. also, I tested out a new form of shading that I really like and will probably continue to use from here on out.

#asknoma

[dadmilkman]

I hate complaining about work but today just made me so mad I need to vent more than once because I’ve already bitched about this to my roommate and it wasn’t enough. But I work at a pharmacy and yesterday I got a call from a patient saying he was out of his blood pressure medicine so I looked him up and told  him he should have plenty left, he picked up a three months supply just 5 weeks ago, and after some back and forth we figured out that hed been taking not half a tablet, like his instructions say, but a whole tablet, so he was out of meds in half as much time. I said okay, I’ll call the doctor, ask her what to do, and I’ll call you back. So I dig some more and realize that not only has this guy taken his medicine wrong but he’s also gotten the same medicine from a different, more recent doctor with different directions that are for TWO tablets a day that I assume he’s been taking in the middle of taking the one for one tablet a day. So i call Doctor one and ask what if they know anything. “oh he hasn’t been to this office in a year”, okay, so I call the more recent doctor TWICE and hear no answer from them. so i call the guy back and said, okay, I cant get the doctors to call me back, so in the meantime I’ll give you a few days worth of pills so you’re not out and keep taking them once a day like you have been to keep the regime the same until I get ahold of someone.

The next day I call the doctor again and talk to a nurse to straighten out that he should be on the directions for 2 tablets a day since they’re the most current (which is not what the patient has been taking) so she says she’s gonna call the patient and schedule an appointment for him to come in because he’s been taking literally four times as much blood pressure medicine as he’s previously been on for like, months all the sudden, and then accidentally cut himself back to half that because he was taking the wrong directions. okay great. problem solved I think. he’ll see the doctor and its fine. 

and then 4 hours later the patient fucking calls me and absolutely BITCHES at me for lying to his doctor about what hes been taking, telling me i told his doctor he’s taking three pills a day when he’s not, he’s only been taking one pill and “why would you do that, why would you tell them that I was taking it wrong” well FIRST of all he WAS taking it wrong. second of all I had 5 scripts over the course of like 8 months and they were back and forth between Doctor One and Doctor Two and the prescription in question had his fucking SIGNATURE on it from JULY from doctor 2 and he had JUST admitted to me the day prior to being out of the medicine from Doctor One. and he goes “well I never got that medicine! I only have the one script here and Ive been taking one a day” (which is wrong, mind you) “and I never got another script with different directions on it” im like sir it has your signature on it. you signed for it and you told me youre out of meds. why would I not think youd taken it already and he goes “well if its filled its in  your possession and not mine, you guys cheated me out of my money, i dont appreciate being swindled like that” as if i had personally fucking STOLEN from him and not WASTED HOURS OF MY DAY CHASING DOWN HIS DOCTORS TO GET HIS MEDS FIXED. i got him fucking booked for a NEXT DAY appointment with his doctors office which he was fucking unhappy about for some reason acting like i was putting him out because i was that spiteful. im like!! you are apparently supposed to be on two tablets a day! from your new doctor! i have the script from them! with your signature! and you have just admitted to me to be taking a script from your OLD doctor for only HALF A TABLET and not only that but taking it WRONG!!! why would i not HELP! oh my dear god it made me so mad. this motherfucker accused me of lying to his doctor about his meds and then CHEATING him out of the entire fucking 6 dollars that this drug cost. i was so fucking angry. i went out of my way help this motherfucker and he acts like i have personally gone after him oh my god dude i will give you 6 dollars out of my wallet if you fucking want it. good lord. why did i even bother. i hope his heart just explodes next time. that really ruined the whole rest of my day

#beep beep #i hate!!! retail pharmacy!!! if youre a customer fuck you

[pitubea1910]

Speechless

Pairing: Barry Allen x Reader

Featuring: Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow, Joe West and Harrison Wells.

Words: 1606

Warnings: -

Tags: @imabloodynerd 

Request: requested by anonymous:

“Can you do a Barry imagine where the reader can talk to animals and they meet when he sees her accidentally talking to animals in public and he comes to her as the flash asking for help then they start dating”

Notes: im sorry if this is too shitty. I didn’t really know how to do this request but I hope you enjoy it

MASTERLIST

The night of the explosion literally changed your life. You worked at the Central City Zoo and that exact night you had been almost forced to stay until late to feed the monkeys. You did love the job, loved the animals and loved the place but you were exhausted. So much you didn’t even hear the explosion, all you remember is a wave that made you fall to the ground, unconscious.

When you woke up, you were confused. You didn’t know where those voices where coming from since you were still alone in the park. But there were voices all around you. Voices expressing mostly curiosity but also fear. You got up and looked around, trying to know where those voices came from until you realised it:

The animals.

You could hear them, like they were people talking to you. With a frown you looked at a monkey who suddenly asked you if you were okay. And you knew your life had changed. In a few weeks you became the most valued employee of the zoo. You always knew exactly what the animals wanted, the amount of it and even the reason. No one really knew how you did it and you never explained it but it was true. You were their healer, their friend, their ally.

You spent months in the shadows, working there in the zoo until one day, almost six months after the incident that changed everything, a young man approached you saying he and his friends needed your help. You didn’t trust him, it didn’t matter how nice he seemed, you knew he was hiding something. But he didn’t give up, he came back one day after the other for two weeks straight, claiming he wouldn’t stop until you listened to him. Which you finally did and, once again, your life changed.

“The Flash?” You asked shocked, looking at his face in order to find something that let you know that he was lying.

“Yes, he needs your help. We need your help” he said taking out a tablet from the backpack he was carrying. “We’ve been observing you for a few weeks. You are special, you can reach to the animals in ways no one else can” he said tapping over the screen a few times before turning it around to show you a video. “You’re the only one that can deal with this”

You looked down at the screen and opened your eyes widely as you saw the big gorilla on the video. He was screaming, he was causing chaos everywhere he went. He was scared. You frowned and looked at the guy.

“He’s scared” you said immediately.

“He’s dangerous” the guy, whose name was Barry, told you.

“Because he’s scared” you repeated. “He doesn’t know what’s going on, why he’s been chased and attacked by the Flash”

“How do you know all that?” Barry asked turning off the tablet. “You can hear his thoughts?”

“I can talk to them” you finally admitted with a sigh. “The night of the explosion I was working here late, it hit and when I woke up I just…talked to them” you shrugged.

Barry was left speechless. He had thought it was something like reading the animals minds. He never thought it would be actual talking. But it was much better. Barry tried to convince you once again but this time you didn’t need convincing. That gorilla needed your help and Barry was right: you were the only one who could deal with this.

That afternoon, when your shift at the zoo finished, you went straight to STAR Labs. Barry had explained you exactly how to get there and how to go down to the cortex, which wasn’t hard to do due to their lack of security.

“(Y/N)”, Barry said the moment you stepped into the what looked like the main room. “Thank you for coming” he said.

“You’re welcome” you said, feeling all eyes on you.

He immediately introduced you to everyone else: Caitlin Snow, Cisco Ramon, Joe West and Harrison Wells. You shook everybody’s hands before turning to Barry once again.

“So you’re the Flash then?” You stated looking at him.

Once again, he was left speechless. He looked at everyone, who were as surprised as he was, and the back at you, trying to figure out how you knew.

“Easy” you shrugged before he could even answer. “Obviously, the Flash is here since I’m supposed to work with him on this. Definitely, he’s a guy since there’s no boobs on the suit. Joe is…bigger than the Flash, Wells is taller, Cisco has a darker skin and that leads us to…you, Barry Allen”

“Clever” Cisco mumbled behind you.

“Impressive” Wells said as well.

“Eh…well, yeah, I am” Barry admitted. “Just…don’t say anything” he smiled a little.

“I’ll keep you secret if you keep mine” you shrugged. Barry smiled even more and nodded his head, ignoring the odd feeling in his stomach he felt when your eyes connected. “So where’s the gorilla?”

“We got him locked up” Cisco said. You frowned and looked at him.

“Why?” You asked.

“He was too violent, we managed to sedate him and put him in a cell in the pipe line” Caitlin explained.

“How can you do that?” You frowned.

“That’s weird coming from someone who works in a zoo” Wells commented.

“Those animals are happy now thanks to me” you snapped. “This poor guy is scared to death. He’s not even an adult yet and he doesn’t know what’s happening to him. He’s reacting like any other animal would react”

“Except he’s not any other animal” Barry said. You looked at him, waiting for an explanation.

“Some people have been carrying out experiments on gorillas to create an intelligent kind of apes. Obviously it’s getting out of hand” he explained.

“Let me talk to him” you told all of them. They all looked at you, not really sure of what you were suggesting. “Why did you bring me here if you’re not going to let me do my job?”

“It’s dangerous” Barry said.

“Take me to him” you commanded.

Barry looked around, asking for help, but all he got was a nod from Wells. For some reason, that arrogant man seemed to trust you. It’s not like you trusted him but you were grateful for his support. With a sigh, Barry told you to follow him which you did.

“How is it like? Talking to animals” he asked when you were out of the cortex.

“Amazing” you smiled. “They’re way purer than us” you added.

“I can definitely agree on that” he said.

He took you where the gorilla was. It looked like the animal was calmed now, sitting on the floor of the cell, trying to sleep. Taking a deep breath you told Barry to unlock the cell. He hesitated but after seeing the look in your eyes, he knew it was the correct thing to do. He pulled up the level that would open the door and let you walk in, closing in immediately but keeping his hand on it. In case he had to open it as fast as he could.

He couldn’t hear anything but he could see the gorilla opening his eyes when you spoke. The animal looked down at you, staring at your face as you spoke. It took a couple of minutes but finally the ape started talking as well. It was the most bizarre scene Barry had ever seen, but also the most hypnotising. Seeing how you talked the animal, placing a hand on his furry arm, rubbing it slowly. Barry knew you were safe, the gorilla wouldn’t attack you. He had understood you were family.

After long ten minutes you asked Barry to open the door which he did. You came out after saying one more thing to the animal and walked to Barry who had already closed the door again.

“So?” He asked.

“As I said, he’s scared” you shrugged. “He’s been separated from his mother and his family and is alone, but he doesn’t want to harm anyone” you explained.

“What do we do?” Barry asked with frown. Now that he knew there was no threat he felt a bit lost.

“Send him to the zoo” you smiled. “I’ll take care of him there” you nodded to yourself.

“And who will take care of you?” Barry asked with a small smile, amazed by your worry for all the animals in the zoo.

“What do you mean?” You laughed crossing your arms.

“Well, we did our research, I know you live alone and you have no family in the City” he shrugged.

“Are you a stalker?” You smirked. He laughed and shook his head.

“I was just saying that…we could take care of you, you know? If you joined the team” he suggested.

You smiled at him, at his sweetness and actually you considered the idea. The people looked nice enough to work with them, and it would definitely be an adventure. But you also knew it wasn’t your place, you didn’t belong there.

“No thank you, I like my job” you declined politely. “But if you want to see me again, you can just ask me out” you smiled. Barry laughed and looked down for a few moments.

“Are you serious?” He asked after a moment.

“Of course I am” you smiled. “See you at Jitter’s in two hours, Allen. Don’t be late, I know you can be there fast enough” you winked at him, walking out of the pipe line with a smirk on your face. Leaving Barry completely speechless for a third time.  

#barry #barry allen #the flash #barry allen imagine #the flash imagine #barry allen x reader #the flash x reader #imagine #pitubea #x reader #reader insert #grant gustin #dc #central city #metahuman #ccpd #harrison wells #caitlin snow #killer frost #cisco ramon #vibe #joe west #iris west #star labs

[shuicheese]

Okay so- It’s going to be a new year real soon. And I haven’t done anything for my pals during Christmas and I really, really wanted to do something to show how thankful I am towards my friends. So here’s a small ‘follow-forever’ thingie! ^^

I will put them under read more since it’s a long list hehe. This isn’t in any order, btw, I appreciate all of you and if I somehow, somehow, forgot to add you then- Im so sorry! ;;;

__

@diligencekit - We’ve been pals for a reaallly long time now, and I really enjoy your company, bro! I consider you a really close friend of mine and a broski. ^^ You’re possibly my first close pal on the net, and I’m glad that we’re still buddies! Your art has always been a huge inspo to me and it’s probably the main reason to why I got a drawing tablet. qwq; 

@valskya - Another close net pal/broski! I’m happy that we’re close friends and we started talking again! You and Jen always seem to make me really happy, your art has also been an inspo to me and I’m always happy to see your art! You also got me into Juuni Taisen which honestly made me really happy, we had lots of fun watching the episodes and such! You’re also another really close friend of mine, and a broski as well! I’m just really happy we started to talk to each other again~

@zingospinning - I completely adore you. I really don’t know where to start with this- Okay, so when I first saw you in school, I instantly wanted to befriend you. But I was so god damn nervous because I wanted to impress you and such,  but then we became friends in an after-school club and that was both the best thing and the most nervous thing because I still really wanted to impress you. Looking back at it, I sort of find it amusing. I think when I befriended you, I started to become slightly more social with others and had a bit more friends? I only had one friend and if I haven’t met you, then holy shit where would I be now? You’re funny, a huge sweetheart to me, and I enjoy your company so much! I wish I can see you every day in school again but ey, I do hope you’re doing well and I love you! You also introduced me to many things, such as BNHA, Teen Titans, etc etc. Thank you so much for the great stuff in life, Zingo! <33

@hasikon - Where do I begin. Okay, fIRST OF ALL! Thank you for making sure I was doing well this month, and thank you for everything too. You have wonderful OC’s and a wonderful humor, and whenever we have a Skype call, it honestly makes me laugh and it’s so chill. Playing games with you is so fun, even though I may have ‘ruin’ the experience for ya. xp Btw we need to play TableTop Simulator sometime again hoho. 

@nikolas-is-gay - BROTHER!! Nikolas is my sweet n satanic baby brother!! I love him so much and I’m so glad we started talking! Has a great humor, I adore his OC’s, and his creativity! We hurt each other on a daily basis by talking about angst about our OC’s and we love it. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without him, he’s there to cheer me up whenever I’m feeling down and the things he says always seem to make me laugh and/or smile. It’s nice to have him around tbh~

@maginpui - Oh gosh- My sweet and adorable P.Wife! She’s so adorable and I honestly love, looove her humor! She never fails to make me laugh and I also really appreciate her kindness! I’m so sorry that I never really got the chance to properly talk to you in school though,,, But I do hope the gifts I got you are fine! And I love you so much, I hope you’re well, P.Wife! I also returned all of the gifts you gave me- I love them all so so much and I am extremely sentimental of em! Especially the Pusheen gifts!

@dettouo - East or West, Dett is the best! I really need to start talking to you again! You’re such a sweetheart and you’re adorable! I really enjoy talking to you and you seem really fun to talk to! I do hope you’re well too~ Honestly just talking to her makes me feel really happy.

@turtleofrage & @killualluka99  - AH YES, THE BUNDLE I GOT WHEN BEFRIENDING ZINGAY! Also a great birthday gift, considering I met them on my 16th birthday? These are my adopted children, I love them both so much! Seeing them whenever I visit Zingo makes me happy! I love their humor and I also enjoy their memes and company~

@dylanhack - Another old pal of mine, and an older brother! We haven’t been talking a lot lately but I really want to change that. You’re really fun to talk to and I was looking back at my old posts yesterday, and I honestly really miss you heh,, I do hope we can talk again! Because you’re a really fun buddy and I enjoy your company!

@philosopher-rachel-wolf - I’ve known Rachel since...I guess 2013? But we’ve properly started talking in early 2014 and ever since then, I wanted to improve myself because inspired me so much! You’re probably the main and only reason to why I write better now, and still roleplay in the RP community. Well I mean- I try to roleplay but writers' block,,,heh h-- But I’m not kidding when I say your writing has influenced me. I’m so happy that we became friends and I’m even more happier that we still are! You always have that jolly personality that really makes me smile ^^ And your art! Where do I begin- you always seem to be improving it , and I’m always so happy to see your improvement. It’s seriously makes me smile too- I love it! Keep up the wonderful work, Rachel! <33

@chibinel - Listen-- We got ‘banned’ in a Cuphead server for confessing out love for Beppi the clown, we have a role called “EXTRA BANNED” because of it. I’m proud of myself- Okay but jokes aside, I love Gaster! I love their art so much, it’s so adorable and it’s just- it’s really good! They’re nice to talk to and I’m glad we got along well! ^^

@valf-xx - Listen- Valf is a huge sweetheart when I first met her. I really love her Dangan Ronpa imagines blog ( @komaedas-trash cHECK IT OUT BLEASE-- ) and I love talking to her! I like screeching about Eraserhead with her and I also love her art~ She’s just- She makes me feel so calm, I really appreciate that !

@puddingskitty - Fun and adorable buddy! I enjoy seeing her art and seeing her on my dashboard in general. I love her Toy Bonnie’s design, and whenever I see a rabbit, I can’t help but get reminded of her~ Honestly I enjoy her company even though I was quiet for sometime- And you’re probably the first person who drew my OC, Zerum, as a small gift and I still really appreciate it! Thank you! 

@kamukuraprojects - Another buddy I consider a brother!! Listen- his cosplaying is so?? It’s so beautiful?? I love it so so much! You’re a gorgeous boy and I simply adore your generosity, I do hope things are gonna be better for you since I heard you’re having a bit of a hard time I think? But I hope you’ll have a great and wonderful new year and hope that next year will be better for you! ^^

@imperial-dork - My spirit animal. Literally my spirit animal- his humor is honestly my favourite and I look up to this man even though a certain goat told me not to. Either way, I think Magnus is a cool dood, and I enjoy hearing about the wacky things he’s done~

@fluzeh - I love Lazy’s art so so soooooooo much! I want to draw just like her one day! She’s so sweet and I love to mess around with her~ I also enjoy watching stuff with her- we watched the MLP movie on rabbit and honestly it was a nice experience~ I love it! I hope we can do more things like that! She’s also the person who designed my main fursona, honestly I just- I adore my sona so much because it’s from you, and I will forever treasure it!Thank you so so much again for the design! <33

Okay I’m one tired idiot atm but I just want to say that for those I haven’t wrote a small description thingie for, please try not to get upset! I’m sorry in advance that I couldn’t say something for you, but I hope you all are alright with this!!

Here are some people that I enjoy talking to/admire and/or people I would love to talk to/get to know better!

@ciel-beehive, @pikabrightheart, @plantsarehardcore, @frizzbutt, @his-pall-mugman, @rottenmilkyarts, @tvvy, @darkshadowsnake, @garnetarmstrong,  @flareon, @raphadelialovesyou, @cheinsaw, @official-akamatsu, @crowstainedred, @ryoumahoshi, @ellsworld, @korekiyo--shinguuji, @btal, @infinitypixel, @askmoonburst, @ask-evil-rainbow-dash, @zyrdrake, @radhalla, @rubberhoseartist, @wolfex126, @miss-bribri, @ladykailolu, @rosealinathefox, @rexieh, @johntheslothblog, and @spacescarf

That being said, I hope all of you had a great year, and if it wasn’t a great year, then I hope next year will be better for all of you! 

I love you all, thank you so much for everything, and have a happy new year!! <33

#rocko.txt #dove promotes #? #i'm not sure what to call this-- #but ay here it is i suppose

[breathingwithdifficulty]

im so fucking done of being stuck in the house with my own sister and it’s becoming very clear that her abusive tendencies haven’t really gone away. she has been commenting on what i eat and what i do during the day (which is not a whole lot but... it’s quarantine. sorry for actually listening to social distancing rules unlike everyone in my house and most of the people in my town). she knows im depressed but her constant negativity and criticism isn’t helping. the whole unfairness of our relationship has become really clear. i basically wait on her hand and foot and when i don’t do something she asks of me, she gets pissed and calls me “lame” or berates me like “its not even that hard” or just “seriously? it’ll take two seconds” like damn bitch do it yourself then. im not your servant just because im your nice little sister.

i don’t ever ask anything of her. literally can’t remember the last time i asked her to do anything for me. i only ever tell her to do stuff like “leave me alone” and “stop messing with that” and “please stop, seriously” and “that hurt” (physically or emotionally) and she NEVER i mean NEVER fucking listens. she doesn’t care. she thinks it’s funny to tease me and torment me and irritate me and then blames me for being too sensitive when i finally snap at her because im pissed off. damn, maybe if you weren’t making it hard for me to breathe by suddenly jumping on me and refusing to get up and leave me alone, i wouldn’t have to push you on the floor and yell at you to get out. maybe if you weren’t constantly hypocritical, i wouldn’t be so irritated with you all the time.

we both have to do our homework at home now which isn’t that big of a deal for me since i can focus a lot better than she can and i know that. but she’s so incredibly inconsiderate. she needs complete silence when she’s doing her homework and says it’s distracting for me to even walk past her when she’s working. so i stay silent. i put headphones in to listen to videos or zoom calls and i warn her if i have to record or talk. i try not to get up and get food or use the bathroom too often. im more than considerate.

however, whenever im doing my homework, she’s facetiming her friend, being on zoom calls without headphones and with the volume on high and her talking at full volume (EVEN AFTER i offered her to use my headphones for her calls multiple times because it’s distracting for me and she was like “of course im not gonna use headphones, that would look silly” like bruh) and singing and talking and literally SCREAMING. like wordless, just screaming because she gets frustrated with her work. bro, i get it. but shut the hell up. god, she would kill me if i did some of the things she does to me while she was working. id literally get cursed and yelled at.

she asks me pretty frequently if i think she’s a good person. i think she’s a good person sometimes. i think she’s too sensitive and can’t take any sort of criticism and lashes out at me because she thinks im pretentious and bratty. she’s straight up told me that she used to resent me (starting from when i was literally a BABY) and still kind of does. she says im much better than i used to be. the only reason she thinks that is because i stopped putting up as much of a fight against her. if i ever say something sassy or rude or even just defend myself, she claims im a dickhead brat who’s spoiled and has a bad attitude. really she’s just a sensitive little bitch.

ive lost four pounds in the past couple weeks because ive been eating less by tracking my calories. i haven’t really been eating a whole lot better but i think four pounds is a pretty good start considering how this is the first time ive really tried and committed to losing weight. but even my sister doesn’t think that’s enough.

i eat a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast. she walks up and says “you know, a bagel is equal to like 5 slices of bread.” yes i know. you’ve told me already this week. you told me a month ago. you keep telling me. im just trying to eat, dude, back off and stop trying to make me feel bad because im not eating fruit smoothies and salad and avocado toast like you are. i get it, you’re skinny and healthy and like to pretend you don’t know it but you and i both know that you do. call yourself fat all you want, but my friends have literally asked if you’re a model, you have maybe an inch thick of stomach fat, i can feel the bumps of your spine when i touch your back, and i can see your ribs when you stretch your arms up.

she knows it makes me feel bad when she calls herself fat and she does not care in the slightest. she’s like “oh im getting pretty chunky oh boy” and then ill make a comment about feeling fat and she’ll be like “oh you’re not fat” like bruh i know you think you’re chunky and i have a lot more fat than you do don’t lie to me.

she told me it makes her feel worse about her hairline when i comment about how im insecure about mine. so i stopped saying anything about it. i told her it makes me feel bad when she comments on how im not doing basic things right (cutting an apple, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, sweeping. all real examples of things she says im not good at and calls me stupid. how the fuck is someone BAD at sweeping? the floor’s clean now isn’t that what matters?) and she said “well practice makes perfect” and i told her it makes me feel even worse about myself and she was just like “well you don’t know how to clean and you need to learn.”

i know how to clean. ive cleaned my room. ive cleaned the kitchen. ive cleaned our shared bathroom (she came home when i was just finishing up after deep cleaning it and even doing the parts she said she would do because i was just that nice. she immediately criticized me and said i had cleaned with the wrong cleaner and needed to reclean the whole thing again. i said no because that’s ridiculous and it was about to turn into a fight so like the pushy i am i gave in and cleaned. the whole. bathroom. again. but with a different cleaner that wasn’t “greasy” and “only for oil and grease, not bathrooms” and “smelled bad” because that really matters in the long run i guess). i just don’t do it the quickest or maybe the most efficient or the way she would do it but literally WHO CARES. if the floor is swept why does it matter that i didn’t do it as fast as you would. goddamn.

she came into my room while i was drawing on my digital tablet today. i showed her how it worked and everything and she asked to see something that id drawn and i said no (ive never been comfortable showing my art to other people that aren’t strangers online (lol) and she has consistently taken sketchbooks directly from my hands or gone through them when i was in a different room despite me telling her multiple times not to) and she kept asking for a reason and i just said i didn’t want to. she kept interrogating me and i was like “i don’t know what you want me to say” and she was like “i want a logical answer why you won’t show me” and of course i didn’t really have one and so i was just like “i don’t really have one, i just don’t wanna show you because it makes me uncomfortable” and she got pissy and left. fine, leave, don’t want you in here anyways. stop being so offended that you don’t get unfiltered access to everything in my life.

she’s a biology major. im trying to decide on a vague idea for my future major and i can’t remember how it was brought up but i said something about going into STEM and possibly biology and she was like. “aw don’t do that. i mean if it really makes you happy then go ahead but ill be upset and probably a little pissed.” which okay i get that a bit (eh) but ive never even thought about going into bio so she doesn’t have to worry and i told her as much. and then i asked why she wouldn’t want me to and she was like “because everyone knows you’d be better than me at it and i just want to have like... my thing” (i get that too (but maybe if you did your work on time and actually went to class then you’d be better at it. but whatever)) and i said i probably wouldn’t be better but i get that or whatever. and then i think she made a joke and i laughed and she was a few seconds later like “why do you look so smug? like you’re happy about the fact that i think you’re better than me” and i was like “that’s literally not true” and she was like “everyone likes feeling like they’re smart and you feel like you’re better than me and you’re smug about it” (or something like that) and i had to convince her that not i literally do not and am not smug. damn bitch, insecure much? that pissed me off that she would think that low of me to assume that i ENJOYED her insecurities and felt like i was smarter than her. wow. ive told her countless times in depth and with detail that i believe we both have strengths and weakness and neither of us are better than the other, and she still doesn’t believe me. but whatever.

it’s constant, little things like that. ive always managed to let a lot of them slide and that is one of the only reasons she thinks im such a good sister. that and i lie to her a lot about how i feel about her. she says stuff like “im surprised you haven’t killed me in my sleep yet, you’re too good to me, ive been terrible to you” but still continues. but whatever. ive only been waiting for her to move out for four years now, i guess i can wait a few more months (hopefully only that).

she says she’ll get pissed if i don’t call her every week once we aren’t living together and so i say i will but. i don’t want to. i don’t want to tell her about my life and my worried just to have her criticize them or say im being ridiculous. i don’t want to have to live like this forever. im so tired. so so tired.

im not saying it’s all bad. sometimes our donut runs at 2am are nice. and sometimes she is interested in what im doing when no one else is. sometimes, she gives good advice. sometimes we talk for hours on end. she’s one of the first people i go to when im having problems with me my mom. i trust her with somethings. it’s not all bad

but her constant emotional and verbal abuse has shaped me into a scared, pushover little girl with insecurities, trust issues, and guilt. she’s always said i was the favorite and laughs now and says “i think me being mean to you when we were younger was good for you, it too you down a few pegs so now you’re not so spoiled.” it also traumatized me and gave me self esteem issues, but yeah, haha, at least im not a spoiled brat (but to you, i still am, but only when i don’t do what you want or say what you want me to say). thanks for that.

anyways, it’s been a while since ive made a long rant. it’s past 4am and i woke up at 2:30pm today so it’s probably time to sleep and dread waking up in the morning. nice.

4.18.20 4:22AM

#food mention #ed tw #not specifically mentioned but i talked about weight and body image #body image tw #depression tw #emotional abuse #abuse tw #sisterly chronicles #.mine

[sadrien]

prince of cats

chapter eight: which mannerly devotion shows in this

on ao3 || on ffnet 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

sorry this is late, its been. rough.

maybe dont expect a chapter next week? i should (hopefully) be moving into my dorm on sunday so uhh yeahhhh.

i literally know nothing about apartment hunting. i did some googling on like..what happens if you apartment burns down but i kept it suuuper vague so...sorry about that

enjoy

Marinette curls up at a chair in Alya and Nino’s kitchen and clicks through emails on her laptop. She needs to be designing, but her bag with her tablet in it is across the room and she doesn’t want to get up right now. She has a cup of tea in front of her and is comfortable with the way she’s sitting.

She’ll be productive later.

She checks her phone for messages, not sure what she’s expecting, but still being strangely disappointed when she doesn’t have any.

“Hey, girl,” Alya says, wandering in from the bedroom. “What’s up?”

“Not much,” Marinette murmurs. She closes her email and goes back to the apartments she was looking at. “Still looking at places. I am…struggling.” She pulls on her pigtail as she chews on her bottom lip.

“Hm.” Alya places a dish in the sink. “You know you can stay here as long as you want, right?” she asks, turning around to face Marinette.

“I know,” Marinette answers, keeping her eyes on the screen.

“Mari.” Alya sits down across from her and slowly pulls the laptop away.

“Hey! I was—”

Alya closes the laptop. “The world won’t end if we talk about this.”

Marinette sighs. “I am definitely intruding.”

Alya scoffs. “Shut up, Mar. You’ve been my best friend for like a decade now. Which, one, holy shit we’re old. Two, you will always have a home with me. You’ve known Nino for even longer, trust me, he doesn’t mind.”

Marinette rubs her temples. “I just…”

“You don’t want to be a bother. You don’t want to overstay your welcome. Blah blah blah.” Alya grabs one of Marinette’s hands and squeezes it. “Remember when we were starting university and we both thought we were going to be jobless and homeless and I promised I would share my box with you?”

Marinette nods.

“This,” Alya taps on the table, “is my box. I am sharing it with you. I swear to god, Nino and I are more than happy to let you stay here as long as you need to. As long as you’d like. We want to help you. If you feel that bad about it, you can buy groceries every once and awhile. Give us a few euros for the rent.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Marinette mumbles.

“I know you don’t want to back to your parents, but they’re there too,” Alya reminds her. “Even if they are a little bit further from your work. You might have to figure something out since they totally renovated your space, but your friends and family are here to support you. But you have to let us help you.”

Marinette sighs. “I know. I just… I don’t want to feel like I’m leeching off of others.”

“You’re not,” Alya says firmly. “We all know you can provide for yourself. Right now you just need some help and that’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Marinette takes a deep breath. “I know.”

“You don’t have to keep looking for an apartment if you don’t want to,” Alya says softly. “Or if you want to take a break from looking for a few weeks. But don’t stress out about this too much. We’re here for you.” Alya leans across the table and presses a kiss to Marinette’s forehead. “I have to go work on an article, but let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Mhm.” Marinette stares at the table as Alya gets up and goes back into the bedroom. Marinette reaches for the laptop before she stops and unlocks her phone instead.

She opens up to a text conversation she keeps opening up to, like that will change the messages that have and haven’t been sent.

From: Marinette (the Neighbor) To: The Cat Guy Hi this is Marinette Just checking to make sure we put in the right numbers and everything

From: The Cat Guy To: Marinette (the Neighbor) Yup! Numbers are right, this is indeed Adrien How are you doing?

From: Marinette (the Neighbor) To: The Cat Guy Im doing ok Im going to be staying with Alya and Nino until I figure out what to do Ho w are you?? Are you able to stay with your friend?

From: The Cat Guy To: Marinette (the Neighbor) I’m doing pretty well, Plagg isn’t loving it though And I am, yeah! Hopefully I’ll be able to find my own place soon enough

From: Marinette (the Neighbor) To: The Cat Guy Thats good!! Hopefully Ill find a new apartment soon too, Id love to get my stuff out of storage you know??

From: Marinette (the Neighbor) To: The Cat Guy If you need any help looking for apartments, let me know! Ninos surprisingly good at it andhes been helping me out

From: Marinette (the Neighbor) To: The Cat Guy I hope youre doing well

She closes her messages and locks her phone. She looks desperate. It’s been over two weeks since Adrien last responded to one of her texts. She didn’t think he’d fade from her life that fast, but apparently she was wrong.

She needs to move on. She has bigger things to worry about. Like finding an apartment.

Marinette apartment hunts for about twenty minutes before she switches over to YouTube and starts binging random YouTubers.

Goodbye, productivity.

✦ ✦ ✦

“Has he texted you back yet?” Alya asks as Marinette and Nino lounge on the couch.

“Not yet,” Marinette says, keeping her eyes on the action on the screen.

“Hm.”

Nino pauses the show. “Did you ever find his social media, Al? You were pretty determined.” Alya groans and drops onto the couch, laying across Marinette and Nino’s legs. “I tried. And I did find an instagram, but it’s just pictures of his cat.” Marinette smiles a little, even though it kind of hurts. “I can’t believe he has nothing else.”

“He’s not a very social person,” Marinette points out.

“Whatever,” Alya mutters. “He’s kind of a jerk anyway.”

Marinette looks away. “He might just be busy.” She can feel Nino and Alya’s eyes on her.

Yeah, she doesn’t really believe it either.

✦ ✦ ✦

Marinette tries to leave the apartment whenever possible. She goes to work and stays out for lunch and gives Alya and Nino as much space as she can. She loves them and believes that they would let her stay for the rest of time, but she still wants to give them privacy sometimes.

She would get sick of herself too.

She visits apartments. Some that are too expensive, ones that she hates, ones that are too far from her work, ones that are falling apart. She finds a few that she likes. There’s one she sort of has her eyes on, but she’s also, strangely, a little worried about moving in. Or out. Or…on.

She’s getting lunch at a café when she looks out the window and sees a black cat sitting on the fire escape of the next building.

She finds herself thinking of Plagg.

Marinette goes back to eating and tries not to think of Adrien too much, but part of her knows that all she’s going to draw tonight will be Adrien’s face. The curve of his nose, the line of his hair, the sweeping lines of his hair— 

That reminds her that she still needs to buy new watercolors and colored pencils. Unfortunately, of the things to survive the fire, most of her art supplies was not on the list. The fire had started on the floor above hers, and had just reached her apartment when it was put out.

Honestly, she’s relieved that anything of hers survived.

On her way back to work, she stops at the art store. She shells out on a new set of watercolors and some paper and a brush set. She hesitates at the copic markers before getting a single green that reminds her of springtime and nothing else.

As she exits the store, a black cat rubs against her legs. Marinette looks down and the cat looks up at her, meowing.

She sighs and reaches down to scratch behind its ears. “I have to get to work.” That cat headbutts her hand. “So I can only be here for a minute.”

The cat meows in protest when Marinette stops petting it and stands up. Suddenly struck by inspiration, Marinette takes a picture of that cat at her feet.

She opens a message thread that hasn’t been active in over a month.

From: Marinette (the Neighbor) To: The Cat Guy [image sent] I met a cat today and thought of Plagg I hope youre both doing well

✦ ✦ ✦

Nino turns up the music as he cooks dinner, rocking back and forth and singing into a spoon. Marinette rolls her eyes and maneuvers around him to get to the cabinet with the spices.

“Marinette!” Alya shouts from the livingroom. “You’ve got a text!”

“A text?” Marinette yells back. “From wh—”

“Holy shit!” Alya screams. “A text!”

“That sounds important,” Nino says, raising his eyebrows.

Alya trips overself as she runs into the kitchen, shoving Marinette’s phone at her.

From: The Cat Guy To: Marinette (the Neighbor) [image sent] Plagg says hi and that he’s extremely jealous

#marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #miraculous ladybug #my fics #proc ml #prince of cats ml #good night i dont even know what this chapter is about