#no but this appeared on my timeline the other day and I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Dazai Likes People

Ok. So this is probably not the analysis you think it is. I'm not going to talk Dazai's dynamics with specific characters - I think that's better suited to personal interpretation and I've kind of already gone over my thoughts on Dazai's close relationships starting with this analysis here.

Instead, this is more about Dazai's thoughts on human beings in general, which, admittedly, can be a little hard to parse. There's a variety of thoughts on this amongst the fandom, ranging from the one extreme of "he loves people" to the other "he doesn't care at all".

This is merely my own thoughts on the matter. I don't know if this fully counts as an analysis, but I hope it at least sparks some discussion or helps piece some things together.

As you might've gathered from the title, I lean towards the idea that he likes people. There's always been things he's liked about people, as a matter of fact, but I think the nature of what he likes about them has changed across his development.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that Dazai's development as a character is, rather than a behavioural shift, instead based on his changing perception of human nature, and the value found in human connection. His methods are largely similar, however, the thought behind them and the direction they're given is different.

I'm going to be jumping around a bit with the timeline, so here's the core ideas in advance just so it's easier to follow.

Belief #1: "People are stronger in groups than individually." This has not changed across his character arc.

Belief #2: "There is a divide between myself and humanity that cannot be broached." to "Some of that divide may not be as wide as it seems." This development is still ongoing and key to his overall character conflict.

Belief #3: "Attachment is an incomprehensible motivator." to "Attachment is a reliable human drive." Take a close look at how his plans change as he ages.

Belief #4: "People just can't stop killing each other." to "There is beauty in the fighting human spirit." This one is a bit more conjecture based on hints in the story, but I think it holds some weight.

Belief #1: Groups over Individuals

This point requires very little explanation. If you look at the intro to the DHC conflict, linked here, you’ll find that he actually says it outright.

"What's more, you underestimated the power found in organizations. Humans are stronger in groups than they are as individuals. That's just the undeniable truth, Mr. One Man Army."

Again, in Stormbringer, Dazai confidently says the following:

"This is how the world works. It's an absolute truth no matter when or where you go. Groups are stronger than individuals...There's strength in numbers."

This is a canonical belief of his that he holds very strongly to, and at a young age at that. This is a primarily logical value to place on others. It's interesting though, because it goes beyond just "strength in numbers".

His further dialogue in the DHC prologue has him go on to respond to Shibusawa asking if the reason he joined the Mafia had to do with the strength in a group affirmatively. It ties in quite interestingly with what he tells Odasaku in The Day I Picked Up Dazai as the reason he should consider joining the Mafia, and Oda's own thoughts on the organization.

If one of their members is attacked by an outsider, they will turn into a row of fangs and bite the enemies.

"If you join, you will no longer be bothered by anything from your past. Because no past can touch that place."

He's said to speak with some pride about the organization in this scene. It's not just about strength. It's about safety. It's about knowing someone has your back. It is, ultimately, about trust.

So, really, it's no wonder that Dazai thrives in, and is honestly at his best, when working in partnerships.

The comfort in partnerships appears to have come rather quickly to Dazai in Fifteen; he works seamlessly with Chuuya after only a few minutes planning and is much more "alive" than in the previous scenes. We see a similar level of confidence, even unusually brazen cockiness, when working with him again in chapter 31. Dazai also works fluidly and has incredible faith in Kunikida, which explains their flawless teamwork in Entrance Exam.

He appears to be at his most confident when he is working with someone else. Look at these facial expressions.

So, it's no surprise that his response to crafting a way to protect Yokohama... is to create another partnership - this time between Atsushi and Akutagawa. And it's clearly not just for ability complements, but also some kind of genuine belief they have what it takes to support each other, if Chapter 84 and Beast are any indication.

It's about trust, in your partner and in your group. It always has been.

Belief #2: The Divide from Humanity

This divide comprises much of the fundamental core and conflict of Dazai's character - his disconnect and alienation from "humanity".

Again, this is not something I really have to defend - this becomes readily apparent to anyone who is the least bit familiar with the author's actual work, No Longer Human, from a cursory read through the manga, and is really quite obvious in the light novels, especially Dark Era, Fifteen and Stormbringer. As of now, it's still an ongoing aspect to his character, and if Oda's words are to be believed, he will likely always struggle with this disconnect to some extent.

However, there's a difference in how this aspect manifests in his dynamics with others across time.

Initially, it is a little like Dazai is unclear on how he differs from others; he only knows that he does in some way. He responds to Mori asking him why he wants to die with genuinely innocent confusion on why one would find worth in living, and responds to Chuuya stopping him from shooting the body with surprise and a simple admittance that not doing such a thing would be the "normal" way to think, before laughing it off.

By Stormbringer and Dark Era, Dazai is all too aware of what is "different" about him - that is, his apparent inability to connect with others in a meaningful way. However, I need to stress that this distance is also at least partially self-imposed. Dazai has internalized his differences from others, his lack of humanity, and decided to put up a front of being some inhuman mafia monster. Think "I am a man hated by righteousness" before repeatedly firing at Akutagawa.

Even with this initial uncertainty, there's one thing he's been quite clear on as different since the beginning: his high intellect, and he wields it like a weapon, appearing somewhat proud of at least this aspect of his distance from others. He's almost cocky about it, complains of boredom, and usually becomes interested in people when they sidestep or outright defy his predictions. It's something we see quite a lot of in his Mafia days and also a little in Entrance Exam. While he appears to grow more attached to people who live their lives in the midst of seeming meaninglessness than those who observe from the sidelines the way he does, he also comes off a bit envious in the same respect, especially when younger.

In some way, I wonder if this doesn't mirror Mykola's envy of those who "don't know they're stuck in a cage", in that sort of ‘how do people not see what I see’ kind of way, or 'if they do, then how can they deal with it'. Dazai’s intellect is rather like a double-edged sword - while it allows him a distinct advantage in prediction he enjoys, it’s likely also a strong contributor to his loneliness and separation from others, much like Ranpo. However, while Ranpo externalized his issues and thought there was something wrong with everyone else, Dazai internalized his and believed there was something wrong with him, which unfortunately caused him to isolate himself even further, rather as a self-fulfilling prophecy regarding the next point.

Dazai is a bit odd about his perceived inhumanity, because on one hand, he wields it when necessary much like his intellect, but on the other, he is almost dismayed by any reminders of his differences from "normal" people, even a bit hurt. A prime example of this is in the Dead Apple prologue, at Chuuya's "no one would believe that" line, but can also be found to a lesser extent in certain interactions in Fifteen, Dark Era, and Stormbringer. A lot of the complexity in Dazai's character comes from this juxtaposition - the mental superiority vs the human inferiority. So, he feels isolated in two ways: one is intellectually, which he tends to see as an advantage, and two is a bit harder to narrow down, but roughly has to do with the nature of the human self and its connections, for which he feels lacking.

Interestingly, Dazai seems to regard people with similarities to himself as threatening, and even gets uncharacteristically direct about how he is going to stop/kill them (Fyodor, Q). An interesting case occurs in Entrance Exam. Entrance Exam is really valuable for looking at Dazai's character because it is very much a transitory period for him, and there is one part in particular close to the end that gives me chills, both in the action and the implications of the action.

I am, of course, talking about the part where Dazai arranges Sasaki's death.

I'm going to expand on this later on once I do my analysis focusing on Sasaki herself, but her and Dazai have some pretty notable similarities between them that I heavily believe Dazai was aware of close to the end. For now, the most important similarity is the way they manipulate others - Sasaki's selective distribution of and often misleading info created situations that encouraged most of the people she contacted to act entirely on their own accord but also in the exact way she intended, without her having to do anything herself. This is quite eerily similar to the way Dazai tends to operate (though I'd say in his case with a bit more finesse that comes from Mori's strategic training).

And Dazai... he arranges her death using this same method. He kicks the gun, Rokuzou picks it up and shoots her out of revenge - and Dazai didn't have to do a single thing.

"She killed too many people."

So have you.

"That was the only way to save her. This was the best we could've hoped for."

........

I think I'll just leave it at that. There's a lot more to this complicated situation that deserves a thorough analysis of it's own, but I do think that the only means in his mind to save an empty, apathetic person who was responsible for too many deaths was to kill her says quite a bit about his mentality at that point.

But that appears to be changing.

I loved that Asagiri confirmed that Dazai's words to Kyouka in Chapters 34 to 36 are genuine. He's being probably as close to honest as we've ever seen. And we know this, because who shows up?

Why hello, Odasaku silhouette. Dazai knows full well how similar Kyouka and Odasaku are - their situations, even their dispositions, I'd say, and the way the both of them seem to unwittingly trigger character development in the people around them lol. But there's more to it than just that.

"Every person has their good and bad points, and your bad point happens to be killing. That's why you think you can't become an Agency member. That's just stupid."

"No one can know everything. That's what possibility is."

"You are not the only person with this kind of distress."

"Why do we fight? How should we live on? There is no one who can tell you the answer. All we have is our right to waver."

None of this is something I'd expect Mafia Dazai, or even Entrance Exam Dazai to say. This is someone who, from my perspective, has the barest, slightest will to live on.

"No one can know everything." In spite of his intelligence, in spite of his eerily accurate predictions, this admittance means that his perception of that intellectual distance is likely somewhat decreasing. He's still on a tier far above most other people... but he's closer to them than he is to a god. He cannot know everything.

It's similar to what he tells Sigma in Chapter 105.

"It's all a play of hands. I'm not a superhuman beyond the limits of human wisdom."

The emotional gap may also be closing a little. I think fondly of Dazai's dry "Don't you have any friends?" to Shibusawa in Dead Apple, then following up Shibusawa's dramatic 'I understand everyone so much that everyone bores me but don't understand myself' spiel with "You wouldn't be saying that if you had friends." Dazai really said friendless behaviour, pfft.

There's also his "I wonder how Kunikida-kun is doing~!" in the prison and his internal (and I thought oddly fond) comparison of Sigma to Atsushi.

Still, though, there is a significant gap in the way he removes himself from other people. Even as Dazai affirms his belief that it is the people who fight through uncertainty and live and breathe within it that create the greatest change, he still excludes himself from that category, placing himself, alongside Fyodor, above all others yet paradoxically inferior in the ability to enact real influence, sitting alone in a prison at the end of the world.

Belief #3: Attachment as a Motive

"I see... so it's all for your partner. Betraying the Mafia, spreading rumours about the old boss's resurrection, this fight we're in now... it's kind of hard to believe, to be honest."

Dazai, in his earliest appearances, seems to underestimate the drastic lengths people will go to in the name of the people they care about. The above line to Rimbaud, after he reveals he did all that he did to find out what happened to Verlaine, indicates that while he does understand bonds between others, he fails to grasp how that could be so incredibly motivating - whereas by contrast, Chuuya understands it instantly.

In fact, earlier in Fifteen, Chuuya's assistance is assured by Mori's capture of the Sheep members, which prevents Chuuya from harming anyone - Mori weaponizes this attachment and responsibility Chuuya has to great effect, and points it out to a bemused Dazai, who doesn't... really care. Dazai seems much more intrigued by the growing strife between the Sheep and their leader, and amusedly pinpoints Chuuya as a "sheep getting stared down by a wolf", before intentionally ramping up the tension. Dazai weaponized the cracks that were already showing between them, and while he seems to have started to acknowledge the importance of attachment as a powerful motivator, unlike Chuuya who sees it as honourable, Dazai at this point seems to regard it as a weakness to be exploited.

While Dazai absolutely shows budding signs of attachment himself in Fifteen and Stormbringer, it's nowhere near enough for it to be a key motivator of his own. He runs on logic. His plans are practical, precise and take no chances; a logical strategist much like Mori.

But that all changes with Odasaku. Odasaku's impact on Dazai was undeniably the strongest motivator for change he's had, but I want to talk a little about Dazai's side of things, and his unusual devotion towards his friend. For as much as Dazai is evasive, incredibly concerning, and apparently added some kind of stimulant to a dish he made for the trio without telling them (!?? bro.), when it comes down to it and things get serious, Dazai is, surprisingly enough, an objectively good friend to Odasaku. He gets panicked when he realizes Odasaku happened on Shibusawa during the DHC. He tells him immediately he doesn't need to use the Silver Oracle to ask for his help. He apologizes for killing the snipers in front of him because he knows Odasaku doesn't like killing (even if, at this point, he doesn't know why he holds this philosophy). He arranges for the kids to be hidden in a safe location once it becomes obvious Gide is targeting Odasaku. He tries to convince Odasaku he can find a reason to live, even though he doesn't, at that point, have one himself. He runs to him at the end, even when it is pointless, even when it is not logical, all because that's his friend. And this isn't even touching Beast Dazai, who wasn't even friends with the guy but saw that another him was, and decided he would do everything he did to protect that one person's dream (thereby missing what Odasaku wanted for him, which also, incidentally, was for his friend to live on, but I digress). Dazai is a surprisingly incredibly devoted friend to him. This guy experienced close friendship and it completely changed his perspective, because he'd never had anything like that before. Connection and understanding are extremely powerful motivators. He knows this now. It's in everything he does. The person is gone, but the bond remains, and it drives him to this day.

It's also important to point out that while we haven't seen the turning point in Double Black's dynamic where they went from uneasy partnership to that intense trust, Chuuya is the poster boy for attachment as a ridiculously strong motive for living. His decision to risk everything for the sake of those he has sworn to protect means that Chuuya is reliable. So, suddenly, Dazai doesn't need to make such stringent plans with him - they can be more loose about it, yet still perfectly in sync. "Chuuya is a reliable partner" is not an opinion to Dazai, it's a fact. Attachment as strength, not weakness. I feel reasonably confident in saying he likely learned this first from Chuuya. It gives him the power to persevere through the pain. It's not always fragile. It can be relied on. Chuuya struggles through his life and finds purpose in his bonds with others, and Dazai, both envious and admiring, picks up that he can utilize this in his plans.

Dazai making plans in the Agency is a little different to how he makes them in the Mafia. While there is still hefty reliance on logic and trickery, there's now an extra caveat of social and moral expectation. Dazai makes plans, knowing that people will carry them out because of the kind of people they are. He's making character judgements, not purely logical ones.

While Mori and Fyodor are also capable of much the same, it's rather unlike their methods, as they use attachment, often by leveraging it. Dazai can and does do this too, but notably, Dazai's allies are also regularly left to act in accordance to what they believe to be right without much direct interference - Dazai uses but also relies on this attachment to people and morality. It's odd, because in a sense, it's both an accurate logical prediction and a form of trust. Many of his plans in the present involve people doing what they would have done anyways given their character, but in a narrowed scope that comes from Dazai's influencing of them and the situation. He knows Ranpo will take charge when the Agency is threatened. He knows Atsushi will risk it all for his friends and family and people who remind him of his younger self. He knows Kunikida will never accept lives being lost if there is something he can do about it. He, highly unfortunately, knows Akutagawa will do anything to gain the recognition he seeks.

It's odd, because while undoubtedly still a manipulative tactic, he also has to know, for certain, that these people will act on their morals, drives, and bonds, otherwise it quite literally would not work. Is it manipulation? Is it trust? I lean towards both. Whatever the case may be, it is clear that Dazai finds at least some value in attachment (even if he, again, still largely detaches himself from pure expressions of this kind of motive - Odasaku was the major exception).

When Fyodor says people are sinful and can't help killing each other even when they know they're being manipulated to it and Dazai replies with yes, and? "What's so wrong with that?"

The way Chuuya wins against Verlaine, because he cared for people and Verlaine, in spite of everything, had at least one person he didn't want to let die. The way Gab might not have met such a tragic end if he'd had the chance to connect the way Atsushi had. The way the isolated Sigma ultimately falls, and Tachihara finds new purpose and drive from his conflicting bonds that should've weakened him but instead gave him conviction.

Attachment can be a foolish thing. It can be logically irrational, and in certain cases leaves one vulnerable, but it's not inherently a weakness. It can also be the source of incredible strength and perseverance. Human connection is the beating, bleeding heart of this series. The Agency barely took a breath after being framed before they were preparing to hold their own and prove their innocence - because the Agency meant something more to them than just a workplace. It's their place to belong. They rally to protect it and each other, just as Dazai knew they would, and he, too, is taking great risks to protect it.

Which brings me to the last point.

Belief #4: Beauty in the Fight

Fyodor and Dazai are foil characters - they are intellectual equals, and their methods of thinking and planning tend to be very similar. However, motivation-wise, they are very different - Fyodor says things like the above, clearly with a low opinion on most others. While Dazai agrees with the statement, he disagrees with the sentiment.

"What's so wrong with that?"

But I'll be honest: I don't think he always felt that way. In fact, I suspect he used to feel similarly to Fyodor when he was younger.

In Fifteen, Dazai describes the situation with the Sheep as similar to the "Undercooked Meat Theory" to Rimbaud, which acts as an analogy for violence - everyone wants to eat more of the meat, so one takes it earlier to get more than everyone else, then another takes it even earlier to get more than that guy, and so on and so forth until they are all eating undercooked meat. Here are some key points from that conversation:

Dazai: "If one person stops, he alone will end up with less meat than the other two. Therefore, each of them is trapped, forced to eat the undercooked meat and nothing else, even though all three know that perfectly cooked meat tastes much better."

Dazai: "It explains at least half the misery in the entire world."

Rimbaud: "I see... in other words, since everyone pursued what was best for them, they couldn't achieve what was best for the group..."

Rimbaud: "Violence and war are not necessary for survival... if everyone agreed to stop fighting and banned all weapons - then violence would be no more. But that isn't realistic. No matter what, someone will break the rules to get ahead of the rest... everyone else... would have to maintain their stance on fighting back only when provoked."

Although Dazai expresses his interest in the criminal underworld as a "thrill", there's cause to believe this dog-eat-dog world is something that Dazai himself personally does not like. After all, shortly afterwards, when Chuuya crashes onto the scene and proclaims that "the strongest always win", Dazai disgustedly says,

"It's people like you who turn the world into undercooked meat."

In a way, it almost reminds me a bit of what Teruko proclaims about what a rubbish society it would be if those with the strongest violence always ended up on top. That's her purpose, as a Hunting Dog - to use violence to stop criminals - but violence to maintain order is still violence. Violence begets violence, but you can't just not defend yourself in a world that wants to hurt you. And so the world goes round, and people still kill each other, often quite needlessly.

It seems both Fyodor and Dazai shared the mentality that people are all the same, self-centered and out to protect themselves at the cost of others; sinful, boring beings. Except Fyodor, a more proactive person, decided he was going to try and fix the problem. Dazai, prone to inaction, did not... and saw nothing interesting in the world worth living for.

"It explains at least half the misery in the world." I wonder, does it explain some of Dazai's misery too? He appears to be drawn to the Mafia, not because of the violence in itself, but because of the honesty with which it is approached. You know what you're getting, with organized crime - there's going to be crime, and death, and murder. The proximity to death is a removal of the veil of social acceptability; the mask over the world - Dazai is hoping that by getting closer to the cruel world's "reality", he'll be able to find that something that the people around him would kill for in order to live.

Unlike Fyodor though, who still sees people as boring for their foolishness, Dazai apparently seems to find them interesting by this point. What changed?

It's worth noting that even though Dazai genuinely thought Chuuya was just an arrogant, violent kid before the confrontation with Rimbaud, in an earlier fight scene, Dazai goes breathless at Chuuya's battle prowess. That sheer display of life and energy and raw destruction is something captivating to him. And that's interesting, because that fight there was one he had just previously been deriding Chuuya for starting - it was pointless violence, to him - and yet, he can't help but watch.

So, when the Arahabaki reveal happens and Dazai suddenly realizes he'd been mistaken about Chuuya, it triggers a shift. Chuuya wasn't looking for power. Chuuya was looking for himself.

In Fifteen, Dazai is intrigued by Chuuya's situation. In Stormbringer, Dazai is invested in Chuuya's story.

Once again, Dazai watches Chuuya fight as he relinquishes control to use the full power of Corruption, carefully watching the progression of it all. When Chuuya turns fallen angel, Dazai says to himself, "That's Arahabaki's - that's Chuuya's true form." This incredible show of strength is not just the result of a raw power. This is the will of a human who has something worth fighting for. Chuuya is not a blank vessel for Arahabaki. Arahabaki is Chuuya's to wield. This is all Chuuya, through and through.

Chuuya, caught in the act of dying, in a last-ditch play that could easily be a self-sacrificial one, surrounded by death and destruction, is nonetheless fighting with all the life within him to defend the lives of his people, with the symbol of his stubborn will to survive (that is, Arahabaki, the singularity that should've killed him) on full wrath and display. To the death-obsessed kid who wanted a reason to live, who did not see why people would fight so hard to live on, such a sight would be breathtaking.

Dazai is drawn to the people who struggle through hardship, and the ones who rebel in the name of valuing life. He becomes interested in Ango when he finds the reports he made on the DHC dead, that he made to preserve their lives even without Mori's permission. Dazai does not want to compromise Odasaku's morals, and is deeply fascinated by the juxtaposition of his Mafia status and his no killing rule, though he doesn't pry for the reason. With Kunikida, much as Dazai does not care much for ideals, he sees how Kunikida keeps on pushing through against every setback and horribly cruel reality check, and I honestly think he respects that.

Then there's this bit when Atsushi has just succeeded in getting Q's doll safely to Dazai after the curse on Yokohama.

"It was your spirit that emerged victorious."

He likes it when people succeed. He wants to see people triumph, against all odds.

I find it fascinating because Dazai becomes most invested in the aspects of the characters that we tend to get invested in - we, the readers, which makes a lot of sense given his consistent observer status. The story is never actively about Dazai, but he's always there, watching others' stories unfold, growing fascinated with the struggles they face and the development they undergo, and feeling pride and admiration when they learn to overcome.

But the tragedy in Dark Era in part was a vicious reminder that the story impacts him too, no matter how much he tries to detach himself - to become invested and connected is to open yourself up to the inevitability of getting hurt. But it's also in this struggle to find balance that we are open to make change, and to live.

Fighting to save a life - even and especially when that life is just your own - there is beauty to be found in that fight.

#hi hello here is the meta i said i'd write two months ago ✨ #i hope it is coherent. i really need to stop writing these at 3 am. #bsd #bsd meta #bsd analysis #<-i guess lol #bsd dazai #storyrambles

[nonsensicalramblings79]

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner and parallels in OFMD

2.7k word meta

If you haven’t read my other post about why I’m talking about albatrosses in the first place, read the first part of this and come back! All of this will make the most sense if you read all of the parts I’ve written – I’ve split them up for ease of reading, because holy shit this is long.

TWs: animal death, blood, eating animals, starvation, emotional abuse, physical abuse, gunshot injuries, suicidal ideation, canon-typical mental health problems

MAJOR OFMD SPOILERS THROUGH S2E03

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Let me start out by saying that yes, this is anachronistic – this poem wasn’t written until 1798. I also don’t care: Oluwande is wearing crocs, Stede’s “corpse” is crushed by a piano whose maker won’t exist until 1863, Blackbeard’s got his whole leather-daddy getup, Zheng Yi Sao won’t be born until 1775 – OFMD plays fast and loose with historical accuracy, and I am never going to dismiss an OFMD theory because the timeline doesn’t match up :P

Now that that’s out of the way, a little bit of background information. Long summary incoming.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner is a poem written by English poet Samuel Coleridge. The story is told through the words of the mariner, who has recently survived some horrifying ordeals, soon to be told to a poor unsuspecting stranger who just wants to attend a wedding. As the story goes, the mariner set out with his crew of 200-some-odd men, and everything’s going just peachy until some storms pick up and drive them toward the South Pole. Stranded and lost, the crew fear for their lives, until an albatross appears. At the same time that the albatross appears, the storms clear, the helmsman is able to make their way through the ice of the South Pole, and a southern wind picks up, pushing them back north. The albatross follows the ship, but the mariner believes that it is somehow responsible for the mists and fog that now surround the ship, so he shoots the bird with his crossbow. At that point, the fog and mists actually do clear up (by coincidence or otherwise) – and the crew praise the captain for taking down the bird.

But it’s a fickle crowd – soon the wind stops blowing, and the ship is becalmed; the crew blame the Mariner for killing the bird that had been their good luck. They sit in the middle of the ocean for days or weeks, dying of thirst. They cannot even speak, they’re so thirsty – but they make sure that the Mariner knows that he is to blame for this by tying the albatross’s body around his neck and forcing him to wear it like a grotesque necklace. Eventually, everyone on the ship except the Mariner dies (there’s a bit here about Death and Life-in-Death rolling dice to see who lives and who dies – the important part is that none of the crew survives).

Finally, the Mariner is left alone on his ship of corpses, which strangely do not smell or rot. He wishes he could die, but he doesn’t. During this time, he begins to appreciate what there is left to appreciate – the life around him in the ocean, in the air, “all things both great and small” – and the curse is lifted from him. The albatross detaches from around his neck and sinks into the ocean.

From this point on, the story goes about as you’d expect – the curse being lifted, the wind picks up again, setting the Mariner speeding back home (though, perhaps unexpectedly, his crew gets to come back as zombies for a short while to man the ship until it reaches land again, at which point they die again. RIP). As the ship is coming upon the Mariner’s homeland, it sinks like a rock to the bottom of the ocean – a hermit happens to see the Mariner floating out there and comes to pick him up, thinking he’s dead. When the Mariner opens his eyes, the hermit believes him to be the Devil himself (I mention this only because I think the wording of “Demon? I’m the fuckin’ Devil” lines up perfectly with this).

As penance for shooting the albatross (as if all of this so far wasn’t enough), the Mariner spends the rest of his days wandering the earth, telling his story and making random wedding-goers sad.

HOO BOY, that was a lot. (A whopper, one might say.) Thanks for sticking with me so far.

Now, some of the parallels between this poem and the events of OFMD are more neat and tidy than others are. The biggest parallel, obviously, is the link between the albatross and the “impossible birds” that Ed references in S2E01 – the entire reason I started reading this poem to begin with. The links between the show and the poem are not ones that I think the characters in the show (Ed) are consciously making. I think these allusions more reflect the themes and symbols that the writers and directors want us as the audience to pick up on. Therefore, the “impossible birds” conversation in canon is not talking about albatrosses in the sense that they are commonly referenced in literature, as the proverbial weight around one’s neck that represents guilt – but we can still talk about that symbolism outside of canon.

And talk about it I will.

For those of us who have watched the show, it probably goes without saying that Ed’s got a fair amount of guilt, shame, psychological trauma, etc. that he carries around with him. So if we’re going to invoke the albatross metaphor following S2E3, what specifically can we say is Ed’s “albatross?” There are a few candidates that immediately come to mind. It could be his guilt surrounding a) his father’s murder; b) Lucius’s attempted murder; c) the abusive, toxic relationship that he carried on with Izzy; or maybe even d) himself.

That last one is a little esoteric, so let me explain. Ed hates himself – aside from all the self-destructive tendencies as evidence, he admits it out loud in his dream with Hornigold in S2E03. I wonder if the albatross that is hanging around Blackbeard’s neck is Edward – the real Edward, the one that is more than just his fame, his terrifying persona, his violence-as-a-form-of-love tendencies – the Edward that Stede fell in love with. I wonder whether Ed’s guilt surrounds more than just how he’s hurt others, but how he feels he has killed a truer, better version of himself, and that he can never regain it. In line with The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, killing this “albatross” of a better Edward didn’t just kill him – it killed everyone around him as well. And now, after he has borne the blame of others for having gotten them into this situation, he is forced to wear…himself. The guilt that weighs him down is the knowledge that there is a version of him that was loved, that Stede loved, and in his eyes, he has killed that version of himself.

I want to take a moment to acknowledge a post (or several posts) that I saw several months back in relation to season 1. In these posts [Link1, Link2], smarter people than me drew a connection between a metaphorical albatross and the black cravat that Stede gives to Ed – and that Ed continues to wear until he and Stede change into their privateering academy garb. Something both of those posts touch on is how the cravat represents Stede, and I think that is completely true; however, I posit that the cravat represents the fact that Ed is lovable.

Something that’s been pointed out in the past 48 hours since these episodes dropped is that Ed is not wearing the cravat during the first parts of season 2. Only when he essentially decides to kill himself via storm do we see him once again wearing the cravat (the cravat is also noticeably absent from the purgatory dream sequence).

What exactly this means is still shaky to me – in my mind, Ed does canonically see the cravat as a reminder of his “real” self, and he puts it away and tries to hide it while he’s still…well, functioning is far too strong of a word, but at least not actively suicidal like we see at the end of episode 2. I think hearing Izzy supposedly shoot himself is what pushes Ed over the edge into being actively suicidal; perhaps at this point, some part of Ed is still hoping against hope that he can convince himself not to do it, to wait for Stede. Alternatively, it may be that if he dies here, he wants to take the idea of a “better him” with him.

In the sense of the cravat representing the albatross (meaning the cravat presence is not a choice of the characters, but of costume design), the cravat being missing during the batshit-insane-high-on-rhino-horn Kraken era may represent him not actually feeling the guilt of losing himself during this time. He may have actually convinced himself that a lovable version of himself never existed, and he’s living guilt-free. The guilt comes back when he hears Izzy shoot himself – he’s reminded that he caused this by killing a version of himself that Izzy trusted and even loved, in his own fucked-up way. From then on, the cravat is back on – the guilt is back, and it’s strong enough to induce the kamikaze-type rage we see in the storm.

(Important to note here that while I stand by this interpretation, I’m not sure how it fits with the fact that Ed is wearing the cravat just after the Krakening – the moment when he’s looking back on the island that he just abandoned the Revenge crew on in S1E10.)

I’m leaving this one for myself to come back to later on the off-chance I have some sort of epiphany.

Oh wow, you’re still here?? Probably time for a water break. Go on, the rest will be here when you get back. And there’s unfortunately quite a lot more that still needs to move from my brain to this Word doc.

Ready? Ok.

So that’s one possible interpretation of what Ed’s “albatross” is – I won’t spend time on other possibilities because what I’ve laid out here is the interpretation that I most strongly subscribe to. But all that is only really addressing one part of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Granted, it’s the most important part, symbolically, but there are some other parallels that I want to address that together convince me that the writers of OFMD are actually, specifically referencing this poem.

Obviously, there’s a parallel in that both the happenings of the poem and OFMD occur on actual, physical ships, captained by the man who ends up “shooting the albatross” and being rightfully blamed for it. Both of these ships suffer because of the dead albatross – physically, both ships are taken through devastating storms, and both ships are falling apart. The ship in the poem stops moving indefinitely because of a becalming (all wind and ocean currents stopped); the Revenge stops moving indefinitely because Ed removes the wheel. Both ships suffer casualties – in the poem, everyone dies, and on the Revenge, those crew members may be physically alive, but they are haunted by it. The poem makes note of the fact that the crew died of thirst – while this doesn’t seem to be a main concern on the Revenge, the show does show us, rather graphically, that they were beginning to starve, having to catch and eat raw seagulls to survive (note that dead birds are also a recurring theme in OFMD, leading me to believe even more that albatross references are intentional).

There’s an interesting pattern in the poem concerning dead people – specifically, how they don’t seem to be entirely dead at first. Firstly, the crew that die of thirst drop dead, one by one, on the deck of the Mariner’s ship. However, the poet notes that the bodies did not decompose or smell. Later, these bodies are resurrected by whatever sea spirit chooses to spare the Mariner’s life, using the bodies to man the ship and sail it back to shore. When they are done with this, they drop dead once more, staying on the ship as it sinks to the bottom of the ocean. When the hermit finds the Mariner floating in the ocean, he thinks him dead, before the Mariner’s eyes shoot open (similar to a certain someone at the end of S2E03).

In season 1, I can’t think of any instances wherein someone was presumed to be dead, but actually wasn’t, aside from Stede’s fuckery. However, this theme has come up at least 3 times in season 2 so far: Lucius being the obvious one, then Izzy, and finally Ed himself (and if I’m understanding correctly, Ed was actually, literally, cold-in-the-ground physically dead, not just “presumed dead.” This might be clarified in a future episode). That seems…intentional.

Side note: how long was Ed supposed to have been dead? Days? Didn’t anyone notice that he wasn’t, like, rotting? Especially when “the smell of rot” has been something that very consistently shows up in the show when it’s relevant (see: Lucius’s finger infection, Ed being able to smell Izzy through the walls of the ship).

One more thing: the last thing that the Mariner sees when leaving the shore, and the first thing he sees when he gets back? A lighthouse. Now, could that just be a coincidence, with lighthouses being a very common image in sea-based stories? Sure. But I’m choosing to believe that this poem was chosen (and yes, I say chosen – as in the writers took inspiration from this poem) specifically because it has so much imagery in common with OFMD.

These are admittedly tenuous links between the poem and the show, but they are links, so I’m including them.

The last thing I want to mention about this poem is how its “moral,” if it can be said to have one, is to treat living things with respect – you as a person do not live in a vacuum, and your actions have consequences for others, not just yourself. And I think this sentiment lines up incredibly well with a line that Jim has in S2E02:

…

There was a time when life meant something on this ship. When we lived for each other.

…

According to Jim (and according to literally everything the show has been telling us), the ship was a safe place when the people onboard cared about each other. Fang mentions that Blackbeard didn’t even react when Ivan died; Blackbeard callously shoots his first mate, with the intent of having him killed; he doesn’t even care about his own life and whether he lives or dies. Just like in the poem, this is the issue that needs to be resolved in order for the curse to be lifted – the Mariner (Ed) needs to rekindle an appreciation for life. In the poem, this is a simple “every living thing is special” kind of epiphany – I get the feeling it’s going to be a much more complicated journey in OFMD, especially since the show as a whole is somewhat irreverent concerning the deaths of non-recurring characters. For Ed, I imagine it’s going to be more of an appreciation for his own life – not the value of life on the whole, but the value that his life holds.

So. That’s a lot of words that I just typed – I’m hoping at least some of them made sense. Huge thank you to anyone who made it this far! This is all I’ve got on this particular poem, but I’ve still got more things I want to say about another poem called L’albatros (Charles Baudelaire) and how it relates to Ed and his perception of himself. It’s a huge stretch to say that this poem exists in-universe and Ed has read it, but it makes sense to me and I want to get my thoughts down on (virtual) paper – I’ll link to it in the original introductory post (link to that at the top of this post!).

Let me know what you think!! This silly, stupid pirate show will be consuming my thoughts for at least the next several months, and I’m dying for some reciprocal opinion/info-dumping. Inbox is open!

#ofmd #our flag means death meta #our flag means death #ofmd meta #ofmd s2 meta #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #ofmd blackbeard #ofmd season 2 #ofmd season 2 spoilers #literary analysis #meta #stede bonnet #izzy hands #impossible birds #albatross #the rime of the ancient mariner #poetry #lucius spriggs #jim jimenez

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

My attempt at making the curse makes sense

+ the time leap powers too because why not

Spoilers up to the final arc of Tokyo Revengers

We’ll discuss three different things. 1) How the curse works, 2) Why Sanzu was affected by it, 3) And why Takemichi succeeded to make it calm down.

Keep in mind that it’s my headcanons and that Wakui could one day give information that ruin everything i wrote. And you can of course have another view on it and/or not like my way of thinking !

Who, What, Where, When and Why

Shinichiro was the cursed one. The homeless man cursed Shinichiro, and it’s never revealed by him how he actually cursed him.

The curse went to Mikey – Why is it ? He’s the reason Shinichiro killed the homeless man. So, three different theories. 1 : it’s because of his death that Shinichiro kills, so without Mikey the curse doesn’t exist, 2 : he’s supposed to be dead but he’s not – a sort of karma ?, 3 : if the curse was meant to hurt Shinichiro, then making Mikey hurt and unable to stop hurting was definitely the way to go.

What’s the curse’s purpose anyway ? Why does it make Mikey act like that ?

The curse feeds on tragedy, the more tragedy, the more it grows, the more it grows, the more hungry it gets, the more it wants tragedy, the more it triggers tragedy. And by feeding on tragedy i mean all the negative feelings that go hand-in-hand with. Sadness, despair, helplessness, rage, regrets, guilt… It clings to someone who already has a tragic life and it worsens it. Mikey didn’t have a father and lost his mother, his life wasn’t all happy from the start ; Sanzu… We don’t know enough about the Akashi but he doesn’t have his mother, his father is always out working and his relationship with Takeomi is so, so bad ; Kazutora – who had never met Shinichiro – was the one to be affected by the curse and not Baji – who knew Shinichiro for a while so the ‘it affected everyone around him’ should’ve worked here – and Baji doesn’t have a typical family life either since he only has his mom, but his relationship with his mom is great, and it’s not the same as what Kazutora has to deal with at home.

And while we cannot say if i’m right ; the fact the curse grew with time is undeniable

What do you mean you were ‘following Mikey as if you were in a trance’

this is why we cant have nice things

So. Sanzu.

It is revealed he only acted that way because he ‘was in a trance’ (→ the curse affected him). Not going to talk about how much it pissed me off when i read that. But why would he be affected by it? Emma wasn’t, Senju wasn’t, Takeomi, Wakasa & Benkei weren’t, grandpa Sano wasn’t, Baji burnt cars and threw punches at anyone who might look at him but that wasn’t the curse (final timeline 7 y/o Baji punching Takemichi) (it could still be, of course, but it doesn’t feel as violent as Mikey and Sanzu have it. Then again, he didn’t live long enough to tell ig), Inui and Draken weren’t either… What does Sanzu has, who is Sanzu for him to be affected by it ? Shinichiro’s trigger. He is tied to the time leap power and to the curse then. He was also the first victim of the curse, when it was still very small, and that might have given him a sort of immunity/protection which caused the curse not to directly harm him anymore. He’s here in Bonten when Mikey drove every other person close to him away. Twelve years, and Mikey didn’t kill him with his dark impulses whereas they appear soon after Takemichi talk to him.

Or it could be Mikey’s seemingly incapacity to harm anyone he knew before being cursed. He wouldn’t hurt Emma, wouldn’t hurt Baji, wouldn’t hurt Shinichiro, didn’t hurt Senju, hurt Sanzu once or twice. So the curse could not affect much/at all people Mikey knew before Shinichiro’s time leap.

Then again, Emma & Baji didn’t remain alive long enough to know if Mikey could’ve/would’ve hurt them.

Or. Sanzu was 'in a trance' because his job is to make the dark impulses grow. After all, he says he had waited for them when they finally show up. Maybe that's how the curse affects him – by forcing him to make Mikey act on them. By forcing him to preserve it. Or maybe it's all that I just wrote. Or maybe it's neither.

Edit:

So. This is the official translation from what I understood.

Which change one thing: it's canon it's not because of the curse (or at least not only) that Sanzu is insane ☺ He just Is.

Takemichi’s power of friendship

Shinichiro dies on the day he let go of the power, on the day he gave it to Takemichi. It is said relatively often that Shinichiro was what held Mikey back from letting go of his dark impulses, hence, Takemichi snapped Mikey back to reality because he is the host of the time leaping power. But Mikey almost killed Takemichi thrice, and that’s when the distinction between him and Shinichiro happens. Mikey himself go to Takemichi to tell him to yell at him if he ever snapped like Shinichiro would have, but Takemichi isn’t Shinichiro – Takemichi isn’t his big brother whom he loves so much and whom loved him so much.

The curse knows it was born out of the time leaping power, that it wouldn’t exist if Shinichiro didn’t kill to gain the power. So when Takemichi stops Mikey from killing Kazutora, it goes away, when Takemichi says they’re friends, it goes away. Sure, it still pushes Mikey to shoot Takemichi, or sending Takemichi to the hospital and then stabbing him with a katana through the heart, but im trying my best to think of a reason that isnt ‘shonen spirit, friendship power or nothing’ at the end, it’s a curse meant to destroy everything Mikey holds dear, to render him incapable to be happy and it can go past the fact it’s its creator it is killing. Plus, Takemichi isn’t its creator, Shinichiro is. Hence, the curse rather not hurt the power that created it, but it isn’t against it, especially if the holder is not its creator. Edit: The curse is what killed Shinichiro at the end, because that’s what it’s job was - yet, it only did on the day he let go of the power, so he couldn’t be protected by it the way Takemichi is at the start of the story. The curse could’ve been confused since Takemichi had the power (and perhaps confused him with its creator) at first and then as the story went on, it realized he wasn’t.

This link between the time leap powers and the curse might also give me a reason why Mikey knew when Takemichi came back in the past. The same way Naoto can feel when Takemichi goes back to the future, chapter 2 : “When I shook hands with you 12 years ago, I could feel you inside past you disappear.”

+ So about the ‘deathlike state’ in chapter 7 and how it never happened again...

The difference between Takemichi going back to the future this time and all the other times that follow is actually pretty simple : it’s his consciousness that goes back to the past, that we all agree of, it’s canon, and that’s it. When Takemichi goes back in the past and changes his past self’s life even so slightly, they don’t end up having the same kind of life or way of thinking.

By that I mean : when Takemichi went back to the past knowingly for the first time (and accidentally came back) he didn’t change anything. He still got his ass beat by Kiyomasa, he may have met Draken and Mikey but that isn’t enough to change his past self’s personality ; they’ll end up sharing the same and if they’re the same then there’s only one Takemichi. Whereas all the other times he went back from that point on, he has changed his past self’s life (fighting Kiyomasa, saving Draken, getting stab in the hand). Which means they won’t have the same life experience, which means they won’t be the same and won’t share their consciousness.

Because among the various things the last arc teaches us, there’s that :

It’s not linear. Takemichi didn’t re-write the timeline. He created new ones. Alternate dimensions exist in TR. If they didn’t, the timeline would stop everytime a time leaper goes back. Just straight up cut reality and existence to replace it with other, either 100 % similar or completely different, stuffs. But Sanzu remembers days after Shinichiro’s death and time leap. Why only days ? What happened then ? I don’t wanna know. But it’s probably the same for Naoto. He remembers more of the other timeline that Takemichi does, because he doesn’t time leap with him – he stays in the dimension/timeline until Takemichi goes to a future he changed/created and then the Naoto from this newly-created future has the memories other-hims have plus his own.

And here for the question we don’t have an answer to… :

Where do the past-self of time leapers go ?

Do they go dormant ? Are they conscious and unable to control their body ? Do they have fuzzy memories of the time they’re not the one inhabiting their body ? Or do they not remember a thing ? Do they only have a vague understanding of time passing by like people in coma do ? If Takemichi and Mikey of the final timeline ever decide to go check on the future and leave their past (7 and 8 years old) self to deal with everything what would happen ? Would these children have grown up ? Or would they still have the same mentality ? How can you react to realizing it’s been years you haven’t been in control of your own body ? Surrounded by people you don’t know. Or maybe you do. But it wasn’t you. And if they never do, if Takemichi and Mikey continue living without bothering about the past and the future, never bothering to use the time leaping powers anymore, what would happen to those 7 and 8 years old them ? The time leaping powers allow you to be a parasite to your own body. It sounds awful.

It’s a bit different with the time triggers, or so i think because it seems awfully similar. The time triggers follow the time leapers which means their main source of memories are from the timeline they initially left, and the other memories from the other timelines become additional. Sanzu is more the Sanzu who lost Mikey than Sanzu who got scarred by him. WHICH. If you compare it to Naoto and Takemichi, makes it so, so interesting (at least for me) because it means, that even though OG timeline!Sanzu and Shinichiro didn’t shake hands, the fact from-OG timeline!Shinichiro shook hands with Sanzu which led to him remembering about the OG timeline, means that Naoto has his memories from when he died with Hinata in the very first timeline.

Time triggers get additional memories ; time leapers keep their own consciousness and don’t merge with their past self.

Which begs the question : what timeline would Mikey remember if him and Takemichi shook hands to go to the future ? Would it be the timeline Takemichi is from (no memories of Takemichi, Draken dying on 8/3, Kazutora and Baji (probably) both dying on Halloween…) or would it be all the timelines Takemichi went through ? Or since he also became a time leaper, he only has Kanto Manji memories ? And we can’t use Naoto or Sanzu as examples, Sanzu only shook Shinichiro’s hand once and Naoto shook Takemichi’s hand since Takemichi started to time leap ; their memories ‘updated’ at the same time, each time (final timeline aside, of course). So… So we don’t know. But Mikey’s core memories would be of Kanto Manji, and the other timelines would be additional. (or would his core memories be of Bonten ? That’s the first timeline he shook Takemichi’s hand in and the first timeline he acted as a time trigger. Idk man, it’s all so complicated and (purposely) unclear)

And it all comes to the same thing once again : Is it better if Mikey doesn’t remember those timelines (because a Mikey who has memories from : Kanto Manji, Bonten, Manila, and all the Bad Toman ones is not going to be a very stable Mikey. Not that he is with his Kanto Manji memories but stil.) or should Takemichi carry the role of the only one to remember ?

#if i missed anything feel free to tell me and if you have questions ill do my best to think of an answer #i didn’t reread tr for this so i might have forgotten details that change things idk #tokyo revengers #tok rev #tr #tokrev #tr shinichiro #tr mikey #tr sanzu #tr takemichi #tr naoto #shinichiro sano #manjiro sano #sanzu haruchiyo #takemichi hanagaki #naoto tachibana #tokrev mikey #tokrev manjiro #tokrev shinichiro #tokrev takemichi #tokrev sanzu #tr spoilers #spoilers #tr thoughts #tokrev headcanons #tr headcanons #theories #tokrev spoilers #tokyo revengers spoilers #tokyo revengers headcanons

[volkodava]

Jundori headcanons

Okay, I thought for a long time whether to publish or not, but I have accumulated a number of headcanons for Junpei/Chidori from Persona 3. It can be time from original p3, timeline p4au and post-canon. I warn you right away that English is not my language, so there may be errors, but I hope you enjoy it!

***

When, for some reason, Junpei was not allowed to see Chidori at the hospital, he tried to climb through the window with the help of Makoto and Akihiko with flowers in his teeth. Spoiler: climbed up, but then, when trying to escape from the suddenly appeared Mitsuru, he fell into the bushes, scratched everything he could, and then tore out the thorns for half a day.

***

Every Sunday, Junpei brings a bouquet of sunflowers to Chidori. This is not discussed.

***

Junpei always escorts Chidori home at night. Even if she comes from somewhere alone. Even from the other side of the city. Even at 2 am. He will yawn, fall asleep on the go, but he will come anyway, despite any protests, because her safety is more important.

***

When they start live together, Chidori barely knows how to cook. But unlike Fuka, who can destroy half a kitchen, Chidori mostly harms only herself: her hands are constantly in plasters, microburns, cracks, and so on.

When Junpei finally gets to the bottom of the truth (which turns out not to be easy, because Chidori answers everything with "It doesn't matter"), he asks in complete confusion why she ruins her "beautiful hands", because he, in principle, does not force her do something around the house. To which Chidori angrily declares: “You helped me for so long, even when I didn’t really know you, and now you are working on several jobs. If you are so concerned about our living together that we do not need anything, then my concern is to maintain comfort from the inside. Do you really think that in gratitude for all that you do, I cannot learn at least tolerably cook?"

This issue was not raised between them again. Though that never stopped Junpei from periodically throwing a "romantic dinner" for her. And Chidori's hands, in principle, quickly returned to normal (to the delight of Junpei).

***

At some point, they start a "kiss before leaving" tradition. One day, Junpeu's work schedule changes and he is forced to leave much earlier in an attempt not to wake up the Chidori. But she, sleepy and displeased, catches him at the exit, scolds him for leaving quietly, kisses him on the cheek and goes back to sleep. And Junpei remains standing at the door with a smile and thinks how lucky he is.

***

Jundori support each other's hobbies, despite the fact that they themselves get tired at their jobs.

That is, Junpei, tired of studying and training, still sits down to watch Chidori draw. True, he falls asleep from fatigue on the same sofa, so Chidori covers him with a blanket and continues to quietly draw next to him.

And at the same time, Chidori herself does not miss a single of his matches, and even if the game goes on late at night, she will still watch TV in the living room in a souvenir T-shirt with his number. So when he returns after the match, Junpei finds her sleeping in front of the TV and carries her back to the bedroom in her arms each time.

***

Junpei after p3 takes responsibility for Chidori because she has no family, no real friends, no proper education. And he gets used to this role so much that by the Arena timeline (or immediately after), when they are already dating, maybe already living together, etc., he begins to perceive her almost like a wife even before he proposes. And at some point, in a conversation with someone on the phone, he starts talking and exclaims something like "Actually, I take care of MY FAMILY!"

And Chidori, who accidentally hears this, is like:

***

After the age of 25, Junpei begins to develop premature gray hair, and this is hereditary from his father. This is another reason why he always wore a baseball cap. Just as a child, someone jokingly intimidated him, they say, at the graduation you will be gray-haired. Then, however, everything cleared up, but he was already used to the headdress.

But when Junpei's hair really starts to turn gray, he, like a true drama queen, begins to theatrically lament "I'm only 30 years old, and I'm already an old man!", to which Chidori rolls his eyes every time.

***

According to Persona 4: Arena Ultimax, Junpei often dreamed about how his team won a prestigious match and from the stadium he proposed to Chidori to marry him.

But imagine that in reality the team loses miserably and returns with nothing after a long flight. At home, Junpei meets Chidori, who tries to cheer him up, but he brushes it off, saying it's okay, and starts talking about all sorts of other interesting things that they could see.

At some point, he exclaims "Oh, that's right, I brought you a gift" and takes out of his backpack ... a stone. Just a round, even stone from some coast. Surprised, Chidori stands with this stone in her hands, not understanding what the joke is, and Junpei, as if nothing had happened, continues to talk about the fact that in his free time he managed to look into the local zoo.

"Yeah, it was pretty cool, the penguins are so funny. They have funny rituals, by the way, you know? Like how the male spends a lot of time finding the perfect pebble and then brings it to the female penguin he likes to offer her, like, build a nest together and hatch the chicks..."

At this point, Chidori understands the meaning of "gift", but she doesn't even have time to say anything, because Junpei continues: "Listen, I know that I'm not the smartest, I'm still like a child and often I do stupid things, but I would like to... well... "make a nest" with you."

All that Chidori can think at this moment is "God, I seriously live with this man, why does he have everything through one place, it's so stupid, of course I agree." _______ Chidori: Don't tell me you've scoured the ALL coast to find that stone. Junpei: I have scoured the ALL coast to find this stone. Chidori: ... Junpei: Trust me, it's not the craziest thing I've ever done in my life. Chidori: I'm intrigued.

***

Some time after the wedding, Chidori begins to feel unusual. She is constantly in high spirits and even a state of euphoria for no reason. It’s not that it was something outstanding, after all, and she is doing what she loves, and her husband is at hand, who will at least get a star from the sky for her, but basically she behaves more restrained. But then a sudden tactile hunger is added to this. She constantly needs touches: if you walk, then by the hand / under the arm, if you sit or lie down, then in an embrace, hugs, kisses and all that.

It wasn't that Junpei was particularly opposed, quite the contrary. He is "a block of flaming love", just give him a reason to cuddle his dear Chidorita. But, nevertheless, the reasons for this behavior remain a mystery to both of them.

That is until Chidori decides "for the calm" to take a pregnancy test.

And when, a few years later, Junpei again notices exactly the same behavior, everything immediately becomes clear to him.

#jundori #junpei iori #chidori yoshino #Persona 3 #headcanons #Persona 3 headcanons #jundori headcanons

[ficretus]

Knightfall and Ozlem

Now, I am neither first nor last to compare these two screenshots. So for the sake of everyone's time, I am not gonna turn into Pointing Soyjak meme and instead explain my thoughts.

There is certainly plenty of Ozlem imagery in Jaune's and Cinder's encounters. So much to the point where it goes beyond reasonable coincidence.

My question is what does it mean?

Since most imagery pertains to hostile phase of Ozma's and Salem's relationship, reasonable guess would be that Jaune's and Cinder's relationship simply represents that. They are just Ozma's and Salem's enmity incarnate and nothing beyond that.

Here are some of my counterarguments.

First is, they don't capture the essence of Salem's and Ozma's relationship. They are at no point friends, lovers or even acquaintances. There is no growing rift between the characters because all they know is rift.

Second, They already did straightforward Ozlem relationship in the show, it's Tauradonna. Not only did it have similar imagery as the ones above (Adam looming above lying Blake after disarming her, Adam is not Grimm or Grimmified but does wear Grimm mask, Adam has black and red color scheme), they follow Ozlem relationship trajectory. They go from partners to bitter enemies over their ideological differences.

Conclusion to their relationship is moving on. Blake finds Yang, Adam remains bitter and ends up dead as a consequence of his actions. That could have been solution to Ozlem as well, if Salem moved on, lot of tragedy would have been prevented. I don't think it's a coincidence that so far the only character to confront Salem was Yang telling her there is no fairy tale ending.

I can draw a conclusion from Tauradonna, but what would be conclusion from Jaune's and Cinder's relationship as it is? Is it for Jaune to stop obsessing over Cinder? I guess, but him obsessing over her was catalyst that ended up unlocking his Semblance. She also kind of keeps coming back to ruin his day, so clearly that didn't help. Is it for Jaune to kill her? But what does that accomplish? What's the point of paralleling it to relationship that cannot be resolved that way since Salem is immortal?

_____________________________________________________________

This brings me to Reverse Ozlem theory. I don't know exactly who started this, but I saw it most prominently on onewomancitadel blog. Gist of the theory is that Jaune and Cinder are Ozma and Salem but their relationship is in reverse.

Interestingly enough, images used above come from first real encounter between Jaune and Cinder and last encounter between Ozma and Salem at that point of the story. Jaune and Cinder being strangers during their first encounter makes sense with the theory since it represents rift between Ozma and Salem, who are metaphorically strangers to each other during their last encounter

Naturally, it cannot parallel next event in reverse timeline, Ozma and Salem being married, for obvious reasons. But it gets interesting again when you get to the next two events of reverse timeline. First is Ozma and Salem recognizing each other after so much time has passed. That can be paralleled to Jaune recognizing Cinder by her glass shards and immediately coming to fight her. Second event is Ozma's death, which neatly fits Jaune falling to Ever After and being presumed dead by everyone. On top of that, just like Ozma's appearance changed between his reincarnations, Jaune physically and mentally changed during his stay in Ever After becoming Rusted Knight.

While it does follow reverse timeline somewhat well, does it have a point? I'd say yes, it gives another potential resolution to Ozlem, reconciliation. Reverse Ozlem theory taken to its logical conclusion would be enemies to lovers relationship between Jaune and Cinder. If two characters that up to that point only hated each other can make amends with each other, what's stopping two characters who were soulmates from doing the same thing?

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What are your thoughts? Do you think it holds any water or does someone in writing staff simply have trampling fetish. Feel free to write the comment if you have your own interpretations or feel like I missed something.

#cinder fall #jaune arc #rwby jaune arc #rwby cinder fall #knightfall #rwby knightfall #ozlem

[spiderking-of-queens]

Chapter One: Welcome to Hawkins

Summary: It’s your senior year at Hawkins High in November 1984, and you can’t help but think about all of the missed opportunities you’ve had to get to know Eddie Munson over the years. (6.5k words)

Author Note: This is mainly a Fem!reader x Eddie Munson fanfic that will have many parts, but (spoiler alert!) this one’s also for those of us that can’t choose between Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington... The series will also include the reader’s relationships to some of the other characters in-depth (Max Mayfield features heavily at the end of this one. The reader has a Dustin/Steve-esque friendship with her). I’ll be following the timeline of Stranger Things canon as closely as possible, starting with season 2 and going beyond season 4. I cannot stress this enough, this is going to be a literal novel. Like, 200 pages at least that I have already written. (Really proud of this, not gonna lie. I put my heart and soul into it. Literally did nothing but write this series for the past two months and I don’t care that no one is gonna read it lmao.)

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and racism from Billy (this is a Billy hate fic sorry not sorry, he is the worst). The reader has quite a few specific attributes mentioned about her life, but none really about her appearance. She’s an outcast and socially awkward and has controlling parents. Mild bullying. Reader used to be friends with Tommy and Carol when they were kids (YUCK). 

Masterlist

November 2nd, 1984

Eddie Munson was difficult not to notice. 

The first time you saw him was your first day of your freshman year in 1981. You were sitting alone in the cafeteria listening to music on your Walkman when a blur of motion captured your attention out of the corner of your eye. It was Eddie, going on a first of many tirades you would witness, putting on a show. Most of the people in the room didn’t seem to notice or care, but you couldn’t stop staring. 

Who did this kid think he was? Why didn’t he care what people thought of him? What was he even speaking so passionately about?

You lowered your headphones to listen. 

“There is no way that The Empire Strikes Back is better than A New Hope. No. Way.”

He was standing up, slamming his fists on the table as he argued with his friends. You agreed with him, but you didn’t understand why this was something to get so riled up about. 

You listened to him and his friends go back and forth as you sipped your milk through a straw. Then his eyes shifted over towards you and the milk almost came out of your nose as you choked and scrambled to pretend that you hadn’t been eavesdropping. You set your drink down and looked out the window, but you couldn’t help turning your gaze back to him to see if you had successfully fooled him. You hadn’t. His eyes were still on you, and a smirk appeared on his face. Then he winked and you could feel your face begin to burn. Without thinking, you put your headphones back on, gathered up your things, and got up to leave. 

The last thing you wanted to do on your first day of high school was draw attention to yourself. Middle school had been miserable, and you were determined to make it through the next four years unscathed. Whoever this kid was, he seemed kinda like trouble, and trouble was not something you needed more of. 

Although you tried your best not to, you kept your eye on him for the rest of the school year. He was entertaining to watch, and something about him intrigued you. He seemed to be the complete opposite of you. He didn’t give a shit what anybody thought of him and you admired him for it, no matter how ridiculously he acted.

You learned his name when he was in one of your classes during your sophomore year. It turned out that he was a grade above you, but had failed most of his classes. The more you noticed him, the more evident the reasons he was failing became. He was disruptive. He didn’t even try to pay attention. Sometimes, he even took a nap in the back of the room.

One day, he sat beside you as he sketched in his notebook. He was focusing so hard, a pen in his mouth as he was shading. Sketching was something you enjoyed, too, and for some reason seeing that you had this in common gave you butterflies. You tried to nonchalantly stretch your neck to get a better look, and discovered that he was actually spelling something out in big, sharp letters: CORRODED COFFIN. You raised an eyebrow, curious about what it could mean. Then you snapped out of it when he shuffled some papers around to cover it up. You looked at him before you could stop yourself, and he was staring right back at you with a bashful look on his face. 

“Just brainstorming,” He explained with a shrug. “Band stuff.”

You gave him a weak smile, feeling ashamed for being so nosy, and returned your eyes to the front of the classroom again. If you weren’t so shy and embarrassed, you probably would have said something. You would have apologized for snooping, or told him what a great band name you thought that was. But instead you slumped back into your seat and pretended to listen to your teacher. 

Later that year after you turned sixteen, you got a job at Melvald’s General Store. During one of your first shifts, you were sketching absentmindedly in your notebook when the store quieted down a little. The familiar sound of the bell over the door chimed away and you barely gave it any thought, but still looked up and said your usual greeting. You did a double take when you saw Eddie standing at the front of the store, his hand shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket. He was with someone you didn’t recognize, someone older. You had overheard once that his parents weren’t in the picture anymore. You wondered if he was his uncle. The man smiled and said hello to you as he picked up a basket, and Eddie stared back at you. 

You tried not to watch them as they collected their groceries, busying yourself with your doodles, but you couldn’t help looking up every now and then. You prayed that from their perspective, it just seemed like you were doing your job and keeping an eye on all the customers. 

“Hold this, please” you heard his uncle say as he pushed the basket into Eddie’s arms. You looked up and made eye contact with him as he nearly fumbled it and gave you a sheepish smile. You smiled back, stifling a giggle, and quickly went back to drawing. Had he been watching you, too?

When they came over to check out, you went over your usual ‘did you find everything okay?’ speech and rang them up. His uncle asked you for a pack of Camel cigarettes, and Eddie perked up at this. 

“Make it two,” he chimed in with a smirk, and you both raised an eyebrow at him. 

“In your dreams, kid,” his uncle scoffed, then turned back to you. “Just the one, please.”

Eddie scowled at him and looked at you for help. You shrugged and smirked back. He wouldn’t get any sympathy from you. You were on his uncle’s side. Smoking was not a hobby you were keen on, even if the idea of him smoking a cigarette sort of gave you butterflies. 

After they left, you felt equal parts relieved and empty. You went back to drawing and figured that would be the end of the day’s excitement, but a few minutes later, the bell rang again more frantically and Eddie was standing in front of you before you even had a chance to register it. 

“One pack of Camels, please,” he muttered, clearly out of breath. 

You stared at him, bewildered, and didn’t move. 

“Please hurry,” he urged, frustrated by your hesitation. “My uncle is next door at the pharmacy and I may have lied and said you miscounted our change. Sorry about that, by the way.” 

You raised an eyebrow and turned to grab another pack of cigarettes, then slid it across the counter towards him as he eyed the door nervously. He studied your lack of an expression as you waited for him to fish change out of his jacket pockets. 

“You disapprove?” He asked. 

“Just not a big fan of lung cancer,” You teased. He wasn’t expecting that response, and grinned at your repartee as he handed over his money. 

“Okay, sure. But, how cool would they make me look, though?” 

It was like he could read your thoughts. You didn’t reply to this, but he could probably guess your answer by the red flush that was painted on your cheeks. He put the pack of cigarettes in his pocket and patted it, then gave you a smirk. 

“Can I trust you to keep this our little secret?”

“Sure, Eddie,” You snorted. “You can trust me.”

He seemed pleasantly surprised that you knew his name. Maybe even flustered. He was peeking up at you through his mop of hair shyly. 

“Thanks. I owe you one. See you around.”

He turned to leave and took one last look at you before disappearing through the door. You watched him reunite with his uncle, who was grinning at him and reached up to mess with his hair. Eddie wrinkled his nose and pushed him away so he could fix it. You smiled to yourself as you wondered what he was teasing him about. 

This interaction was enough to keep you hooked for another year. 

The first time you realized your feelings for Eddie were more intense than you initially realized was during your junior year.

When you came back from summer break and saw him again in the cafeteria, you began to notice things about his appearance that you hadn’t before. He had let his hair grow longer, and you thought you saw the dark outlines of new tattoos on his arms. You had the sudden urge to go over and study them. You wanted to run your fingers over them, to know why he got them and what they meant to him. Your face burned red with shame at these thoughts. There was no way you could let yourself fall for him. You learned early on in your life that nothing good could ever come from those kinds of feelings. Only shame and heartache.

Later that year, he was pinning a flyer to the bulletin board near your locker. You recognized the name printed on it. It was the same big, bold letters he had sketched into his notebook a year prior: Corroded Coffin. You smiled a little as you realized that he had the courage to make his dreams a reality. Even though you had no right, you couldn’t help but feel slightly proud of him for it. He caught you looking once again, and smiled back at you. 

You let your eyes linger on his face before you turned back to your locker to pull out a textbook. This time, he didn’t let it slide. He leaned against the wall, facing you, and crossed his arms.

“You should come, if you want to,” He said.

“Wh-what?” You asked in shock, nearly fumbling your books.

He nodded towards the flyer.

“To see my band. We’re not very good, but it could be fun.”

You stared back at him, your brain screaming at you to say something, but the words didn’t come. You were too busy noticing how big and dark brown his eyes were for the first time. 

He shook his head as if he felt stupid for offering, but handed you a flyer anyways. 

“Here. Just in case. You can totally tear it up and throw it out if you want. Just do me a favor and wait until I turn my back?”

He chuckled at himself. You still didn’t know what to say. 

Did you want to go? Absolutely, yes. Would you go? No. Never. 

First of all, the idea of showing up at The Hideout by yourself made your stomach churn. What would you even do alone at a bar? Secondly - and most importantly - your parents would never let you go in a million years and you were too bad at hiding things from them to sneak out. It was an impossible dream, but you didn’t want him to know it.

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish as you gawped at him. Eventually, he gave up on waiting for you to say something and gave a little wave before he strode away. You watched him go, hating yourself for missing yet another opportunity to get to know him. 

When another year ended without you gathering up the courage to speak to Eddie, you thought that you had missed your chance for good. He was due to graduate, and Hawkins would probably be in his rearview mirror the second after he walked across the stage. He was too good for this town, and you knew it. You were devastated. But you were pleasantly surprised when you saw his familiar mop of curls at his usual table in the cafeteria on your first day of your senior year in 1984. You silently thanked god for his academic failings. You felt a little guilty for being so happy about it, but couldn’t help yourself. 

After Halloween, you were at your locker getting your books when you saw Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins approaching you. Your breath caught in your throat. Any time they locked eyes on you, you knew a painful interaction was about to ensue. No matter how hard you tried to keep your head down, they still managed to find you. 

Once upon a time, the three of you had been friends. Your parents ran in the same circle and you had spent many weekends at each others’ houses. But in middle school, they realized that your meekness and occasional awkwardness was a major flaw and began to tear you down for it, just because they knew they could. That’s when you decided that having friends probably wasn’t worth the trouble. 

“Hey, Y/N… Didn’t see you at Tina’s party. Were you too busy handing out candy with your mommy and daddy?” Carol sneered.

You pretended not to notice or care that they were speaking to you as you slammed your locker shut. They knew that your parents had always been controlling and overbearing, that you spent more time with them than anyone else whether you liked it or not, and enjoyed using this against you. 

“Nah. Pretty sure she just wasn’t invited,” Tommy added.

“What makes you think I would have wanted to go anyways?” You snapped. Your eyes widened. Defending yourself was out of character for you. 

“So you admit you weren’t invited? Ouch,” He said with a laugh.

You rolled your eyes and tried to push past them, but they weren’t ready to give up. 

“It’s too bad. I heard Steve was saving a dance for you,” Carol said, cocking her head to the side as she feigned sympathy for you.

You wanted to ask them how they would even know this since you heard that Steve had finally come to his senses and dropped them last year after he began dating Nancy Wheeler, but thought better of it.

This was their second favorite bit of material to use against you. While you and Carol were still friends, you shared who the two of you had crushes on at a sleepover. She admitted that she had a crush on Tommy, and lucky for her, it worked out. But you had a crush on Steve Harrington. He was part of your friend group, too, and at the time she had nothing but kind things to say about it. But soon it turned into a cruel joke. It had been a long time since you had feelings for Steve, but for some reason the idea of the two of you together was so hilarious to them that they just couldn’t let it go. It didn’t matter if it was true anymore or not. You were still ashamed about it, and they knew it. You were just glad Steve wouldn’t be around to hear about it anymore. 

“Aren’t we a little too old for this, guys?” You asked. It was a genuine, pleading question.

“That’s rich coming from you, Virgin Mary,” Carol scoffed. 

Your complete lack of romantic experience was always her most reliable comeback. Tommy laughed and wrapped an arm around her proudly. 

“Aren’t you the one who likes to hang out with little kids? That’s pretty weird, even for you.”

He was talking about Will Byers and Max Mayfield. 

Ever since you had gotten a job at Melvald’s, Joyce Byers had been a confidant for you, and you did her the occasional favor of watching Will when she and Jonathan were both busy. After everything that had happened with his disappearance and the bizarre faking of his death, there was no question why she had trouble leaving him on his own. You were more than happy to help out. Besides, he was a sweet kid, and you had more in common with him than most people your age. You were a lot like him when you were his age. He was quiet and an outcast like you, and you had an unspoken understanding between the two of you. Mostly, you enjoyed sharing your drawings with each other. 

Max, on the other hand, was new to town, and her brother, Billy, had recruited you to be her caretaker earlier that week. He had quickly taken stock of the social hierarchies of the school and made nice with Tommy and Carol, and consequently learned that you were an easy target. He also found out all about your desire to distance yourself from your parents, and knew that you had been trying to save up a little nest egg for when you graduated. Your parents had no idea that you weren’t planning to go to college, that your biggest dream was to leave town and try to make it as an artist. College meant four more years of misery and a degree that you didn’t want or need. Sure, your parents would pay for it, but only if you majored in something that they would approve of. Only if they could still control you. You couldn’t have that. 

So, yeah, you agreed to look after Max for some extra cash, and you actually had a decent time hanging out with her. She was everything you wished you could have been at her age. Strong, confident, witty. She was cool. You were five years older than her, and still somehow completely intimidated by her. But she seemed to enjoy your company, too. She even let you borrow a couple of her comic books. 

It didn’t take you long to recognize that familiar game of control in Max and Billy’s relationship, but at a much more sinister level. You couldn’t let him abuse Max the way he did. You decided not to accept Billy’s money, and made it a personal mission to be around for Max whenever she might need you. It was the very least you could do for her. The day before, Billy abandoned her after school and you offered her a ride home and let her know that you would be more than happy to be her chauffeur anytime. You didn’t want to make more trouble for her, but you also couldn’t stand the idea of her having to rely on Billy like that. You knew she could handle him. She had been handling him most of her life. But you wanted her to know that she didn’t have to be alone in it anymore. 

You saw a lot of yourself in Max, but the most distinct difference was her bravery and ferocity. You were planning to run away from your problems, but she had been facing hers head-on her entire life. Somehow, she was able to take all of the shit she had been given in her life and used it to harden herself instead of letting it break her. It was devastating to recognize, but admirable all the same. If it were you in her shoes, you were certain that you would have crumbled.

You blinked at Tommy, unsure how to respond. Then you realized you wouldn’t have to when a voice spoke up behind you. 

“Hey, needle-dick!”

You turned around to see none other than Eddie Munson, his arms crossed and a shit-eating smirk on his face. Your mouth hung open at the sight of him. 

“You talking to me, freak?” Tommy scoffed back at him.

“Yeah. Don’t see anybody else that fits that description in this general vicinity. Do you? Do you, Carol? You would know.”

Carol rolled her eyes and Tommy removed his arm from her shoulders to lurch forward towards Eddie. He was less than an inch from his face, but Eddie looked completely unfazed by it. Amused, even.

“You better watch your fucking mouth, Munson. You looking to get your ass kicked or something?”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t see why you would waste your energy trying to tear down some sweet, unsuspecting girl when you’ve got this treasure trove of good material standing right in front of you. I’m actually kind of offended that you overlooked me.”

Tommy chortled at this, equal parts amused and aggravated by this response. He was pissed that he wasn’t able to scare Eddie the way he could other people, but was enjoying the challenge. 

“I’ll take that as a yes, then,” He sneered, and grabbed him by the collar of his jacket to slam him up against the row of lockers. 

You yelped in horror, but Eddie remained inhumanly cool. He bursted out laughing as Tommy tried to stare him down.

“You’re cute,” Eddie mocked him and made a kissy face at him, which immediately made Tommy draw his fist back in preparation to hit him. You jolted forward and pleaded for him to stop at the exact same moment that Principal Higgins appeared from behind the growing audience of students.

“Boys! Break it up, now!”

Tommy immediately released his grip from Eddie’s jacket and took a step away from him. The only thing he was afraid of was authority. Eddie, on the other hand, only rolled his eyes in response. 

“Munson, how many times have we had this conversation? Why do you insist on seeking out trouble?”

“Guess I just can’t help myself,” He said with a shrug. 

“My office. Now,” Principal Higgins responded with a disappointed shake of his head, pointing towards his office door. 

Eddie didn’t try to argue with this even though it was complete bullshit. He just slung his bag over his shoulder and gave you a proud smirk before he walked away from you. Tommy and Carol glared at you as they linked arms and headed in the opposite direction. The crowd began to disperse, but you were still standing in front of your locker in shock, staring into space.

Did that really just happen?

You had been observing Eddie long enough to know that he also struggled with the occasional cruel comments from classmates. It was another one of the reasons you felt a ridiculous connection to him. The fact that he would willingly throw himself into the line of fire for you was something you certainly did not take lightly. It meant the world to you.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You had to speak to him, for real this time.

Did you really have anything to lose? Soon, high school would be over. You had spent the past three years hiding from everyone, trying to get by without making a sound. Without doing much of anything besides sitting in your room alone. The very least you could do was open your mouth to let Eddie know how much his act of kindness meant to you.

At the end of the day, you paced back in forth by Eddie’s van in the parking lot as you waited for him. You bit your nails and went over the speech you prepared for him in your head. Then you heard a familiar laugh approaching you and snapped your head up towards the sound. It was Eddie walking with some of his friends. 

His eyes locked on yours as he said goodbye to them, then he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and stuck one between his lips as he approached you. 

You smiled as warmly as you could at him even though you felt like throwing up.

“Hi,” You said meekly.

He grinned at this, showing all of his teeth as he lit the cigarette between them. 

“Hi,” He repeated. “Y/N, right?”

You nodded as you watched him take a drag and turn his head away from you to let the smoke billow out of his mouth. He didn’t take his eyes off of you for even a second.

“Did you need something?” He asked. 

This kind of question would have normally shut you down, but he said it with so much kindness in his tone that it soothed you instead. 

“I… I wanted to thank you. For what you did earlier today. You really didn’t have to do that for me.”

He shrugged and kicked a broken bit of pavement with the toe of his sneaker. 

“I just don’t like when someone goes out of their way to be an asshole to people who don’t deserve it.”

Your cheeks flushed. How did he know that you didn’t deserve it? You had barely uttered more than a single sentence to him. For all he knew, you could be an asshole, too. 

“Well, it really meant a lot to me. So, thank you.”

“It’s no big deal. You could have handled him yourself. I just couldn’t help myself.”

“Did… did you get in a lot of trouble?”

“No more than usual,” He chuckled, but this admission made you wince.

“I’m so sorry. It’s not fair that you took all of the heat for it.”

“Really, it’s okay. Don’t feel bad. I’m used to it. Besides, I owed you. Remember?”

He flicked his cigarette then held it up to help jog your memory. You had almost forgotten about your exchange at the general store nearly two years ago. You were stunned that he even remembered. 

He returned the cigarette to his lips as you searched your brain for something more to say to him. You were coming up empty.

“Okay. Well, thank you again. I’ll let you go,” You sighed and wrapped your arms around yourself as you began to walk away.

“Wait,” He called to you and put a hand on your shoulder to stop you. Your eyes widened at his touch and he pulled it away quickly. He exhaled loudly and threw his cigarette to the ground to stomp it out, then rubbed his lower lip with his thumb as he tried to choose his words carefully. 

“Look, I know this is probably a long shot, but I have this thing tonight. We call ourselves The Hellfire Club. We play, uh… D&D. You ever heard of it?” He squinted like it was painful to admit this to you, and awaited your response.  

“Sure. The kid I watch sometimes, Will Byers, plays it with his friends. He explained it a little to me. Sounds kind of fun.”

He let out a breath so deep that you could see it in his chest. He was fully expecting you to make fun of him, and was relieved when you didn’t. 

“Awesome. Great. Well, we’re always looking for new members. So, if you wanted to come hang out tonight, that would be cool. I mean, it’s fine if you can’t. I know it’s last minute.”

“I’d love to,” You replied so quickly that it surprised yourself as well as him. 

“Okay. Cool. We meet in the drama prop room - super fancy, I know. We usually start at eight.”

“Sounds good. Thank you for the invite.”

Your pulse was buzzing loudly in your ears as your heart raced, but you were trying to stay as visibly calm and collected as humanly possible. He was looking straight at you now, eyeing you up and down unabashedly, and you wanted to melt into the pavement. 

“See you there,” He said with a grin and turned on his heel to get into his van. You waved at him lamely and watched him drive away as your stomach churned with instant regret. You hadn’t really thought through the consequences of agreeing to go.

What if the other members of the club wouldn’t want you there? What if you couldn’t figure out how to play and everyone got annoyed with you? What would you tell your parents you were doing instead? 

When you brought D&D up to your mother one night after you had hung out with Will, she was horrified. She knew you had a penchant for fairy tales and make believe, especially as a kid, and was constantly worried that if she let you delve into those fantasies that you would lose your ability to function in the real world. Maybe she was right, but her incessant pushing for you to choose practical goals and hobbies didn’t stop you from falling into your daydreams. If anything, it probably pushed you towards them more as an escape. 

All you would have to do is tell your mother that you would be at some sporting event. Was it basketball season? No. It was football season. You would tell her you would be at a football game. She would buy that, right?

You let out a deep breath as you continued to reassure yourself that everything would be okay.

Eddie Munson had asked you, specifically, to come hang out with him on a Friday night after all of these years. Maybe it wasn’t too late to get to know him, after all. 

Surely, that was cause for celebration. 

Later that evening, just before dinnertime, you got a phone call from Max. As soon as she started speaking, you could tell that something was wrong. 

“Max? What happened?” You asked her, panicked. You could hear her breathing getting shallower as she was trying to fight back tears. 

“Can you just come get me? Please?”

You agreed right away and told your parents that you were going to the football game like you had planned, but that you were leaving a little earlier so you could find good seats and have time to get concessions. You were impressed by how easily you could lie in a crisis. They bought it and handed you the keys to their car.

Why they would believe that you of all people would go to a football game by yourself, you would never know. Maybe because they were hoping that you were finally fitting in with your peers the way they wished you would. Whatever it was, you were grateful for the miracle. 

As soon as you pulled up to Max’s house, she was already swinging open her front door and marching towards your car. 

“Are you okay?” You asked as you watched her get in and buckle her seatbelt.

“Just drive,” She muttered.

“Where do you want me to-”

“Doesn’t matter. Just anywhere but here.”

You didn’t push any further. You just put the car in reverse and backed out of her driveway, heading nowhere in particular. 

Since you hadn’t eaten dinner, you eventually decided to pull into McDonald’s and get the two of you a couple of Big Macs and fries to share. Max must have been hungry, too, because she didn’t object to this. You pulled into a parking spot and reached into the bag to hand one of them to her. She took it and immediately started eating. 

You watched her for a moment and then decided to try to talk to her again.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on, or are we just going to eat here in silence until I take you home again? Because if so, that’s fine, but I would still like to know.”

She finished her last bite and crumpled up the wrapper in her fist. 

“It’s just school. It sucks. And Billy’s a total asshole,” She mumbled as she chewed.

“Right. I’m sorry. Did something specific happen though? You sounded pretty upset on the phone.”

She swallowed and averted her eyes from you.

“He said something really awful to me. About my friend, Lucas.”

“What did he say?”

“He told me to stay away from him. He said, ‘Max, there are certain types of people you stay away from, and that kid is one of them.’”

You were stunned. You were aware that Billy was a piece of shit, but you didn’t know that he was also a racist piece of shit. You knew who Lucas Sinclair was, and he was one of the sweetest, kindest kids you had ever met. There was no other reason why Billy would make Max stay away from him. Your stomach churned. 

“Jesus Christ,” Was all you could bring yourself to say. 

“He threatened me, too. Grabbed my wrist really hard. It just freaked me out, I guess.”

You squeezed your eyes shut. You had never hated somebody more than you hated Billy Hargrove. 

“Of course it did. I’m so sorry, Max. Maybe I could talk to your mom? Let her know how bad it really is?”

“My mom knows how he is. How he treats me. She doesn’t give a shit. His asshole dad is the exact same. She just lets him push her around, and Billy, too.”

You shook your head.

“Well, if there’s anything I can do at all, please let me know.”

“You can pass me the fries.”

You smiled and happily handed them over. You felt so powerless. If you could have kicked Billy’s ass, you would have gladly driven over to her house and did it right then and there. But you hoped that giving her a safe space to vent was helpful, too. It was all you could really offer her. Well, that, and comfort food.

“What about school? What happened there? Maybe I could help you with that.”

“I don’t think so. It’s just these boys I’ve been hanging out with. They treat me like shit. One second they want me in their party and the next they’re keeping secrets from me.”

“Their ‘party?’” You asked with an eyebrow raised. “Are you talking about Will Byers and his friends?”

“Yeah. Will, Lucas, Mike, and Dustin. They keep talking about this girl El and all of this mysterious shit that happened to Will. But they won’t actually let me in on any of it.” 

“El? Who’s El?”

“I don’t know. But they had a meeting at school today and Mike wouldn’t even let me join. Dustin found this weird slug-thing and ever since they’ve been acting so weird. I’m so over it.”

Okay… So maybe you couldn’t help her with her school problems, either. All of that sounded pretty complicated and odd to you, but you did have a little bit of insight on what happened to Will. Not the whole story, obviously, but bits and pieces you had picked up from Joyce and Jonathan.

“Well, do you know anything about what happened to Will?” You asked.

“Yeah, kind of. Lucas told me he went missing and they thought he was dead. That some other kid drowned at the quarry and the police thought it was Will. He told me not to ask Will about it, though, because he’s having a hard time dealing with it.”

That last part was true. Will had pretty much stopped talking to you whenever you went over to watch him. The light he had inside of him seemed to have gone out. He didn’t want to share his drawings with you or talk about D&D or his friends. All he wanted to do was sit alone in his room. But you supposed this was an expected response after going through something so traumatic. You sighed. 

“Maybe they’re all just trying to help him out and keep his business private. I know it’s not fun being on the outside, believe me, but sometimes people just need their space to deal with things. I’m sure they do want to be your friend, they just don’t know how much to tell you yet.”

“How much to tell me? So you think there’s more we don’t know?”

You blew a puff of air out of your lips. You hadn’t intended to peak her interest more. You had heard some pretty bizarre things from Joyce at the store and in her home, but you weren’t sure you should give any of that information out. 

“I don’t know, Max. Maybe. It was a pretty wild ordeal. Lots of stuff about it didn’t make sense. I mean, I’ve never even heard about whoever this El person is before now.”

“What didn’t make sense?”

“Max, I really don’t think this is any of our business…”

“Come on. If you know something, you have to tell me. You said you wanted to help me. This is how you can help me.”

You rubbed your eyes and took a deep breath, full of regret for opening your mouth. But she was looking at you with puppy-dog eyes, silently begging to be let in on whatever secrets you knew, desperate for any scrap you could give her. At least this would serve as a distraction from her problems at home, right? How much could it really hurt?

“Okay, okay, fine. All I know is that the other kid that supposedly drowned was… completely made up somehow. There’s a laboratory on the edge of town, government-owned, that had something to do with it. They’re covering something up.”

Her mouth fell open in awe. She was clearly excited by this new bit of information, but it had always disturbed you since the moment you overheard Joyce talking to Chief Hopper about it. Max opened her mouth to pepper you with questions, but you put your hand up and tried your best to beat her to it. 

“I don’t know why they did it, and I don’t want to know, okay? You’ll have to figure that out yourself if you’re really that interested. But do NOT, bring it up to Will, alright? Or Mike either, for that matter. They don’t need to worry about it right now. Promise me?”

She pressed her lips shut and nodded in agreement.

“Okay. I promise.”

You snatched a fry from her and chewed it as you stared out the windshield and she processed this new information. Then she looked at you out of the corner of her eyes.

“Wait, you’re not messing with me, are you?”

You thought about lying and telling her that it was actually a prank to spare her, but decided against it. She would probably find out the truth eventually, anyways, if she really was friends with the boys. 

“No. I wish I was, but no.”

“Shit,” She muttered, shaking her head with a giant smile on her face. Her grin looked out of place next to your weary scowl.

“Yeah. ‘Shit’ is right. Welcome to Hawkins.”

After a couple of hours, you dropped Max back off at her house. You stayed parked on the street for a while to make sure she was safe, then pulled away when the house remained quiet.

It wasn’t until you were on your way home that you let yourself remember your plans to join The Hellfire Club that night. There was no question in your mind that agreeing to be there for Max was the correct choice, but a pit of anxiety and devastation grew in your stomach nonetheless. Hopefully, you would be able to gather the courage to explain the situation to Eddie on Monday and he would understand, but you couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling that you had blown your final chance with him.  To be continued...

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie x reader #steve harrington #steve x reader #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #fem!reader #imagine #x y/n #fanfic #fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #stranger things reader insert #reader insert #fan fiction #stranger things fanfiction #max mayfield #billy hargrove #lucas sinclair #joyce byers #will byers #jonathan byers #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #chief hopper #nancy wheeler

[metal-requiem]

If you would please give us divine intervention au plot!!

i ABSOLUTELY will thank you SO MUCH for asking (not sarcasm). sorry in advance but i have been unable to think about literally anything else for three days. i cannot stop rotating these two in my head. long post so buckle up

As for Elesa and Emmet, they were kind of just dragging along and keeping each other afloat for a few years. Emmet was running himself ragged keeping both the singles and doubles lines running, because if he stopped moving he knew he wouldn’t be able to start up again. Elesa was taking on extra work and occasionally running the multi line with Emmet. If she’s not working, she’s thinking, and if she’s thinking, she’s spiraling - so she keeps working. They were mostly both just trying to keep busy while holding out hope that the cops would find Ingo. Both of them refuse to grieve for someone that isn’t dead. At some point around the eight-ish month mark Elesa just sort of. stopped going home and informally move into the twins' house. She starts to hate quiet (the kind that comes with being alone, at least). She stays on the couch. (i see the trio as more of a sibling dynamic btw so that’s what everything should be read as)

The day the officials closed Ingo’s case and declared him dead (which went much longer than usual - around 4 years - just because of how high profile the case was), Elesa came home to Emmet working on research on multiple possible leads at once and didn’t think twice before taking some off of his hands. Emmet is the one who realizes (two days into their bender) that they should call out of work. It’s the first time either of them have used extended vacation time. Also, it’s worth noting that Emmet has not gone nearly as batshit as like, common fanon (which I wholeheartedly support btw i DO think he should be allowed to make his way to heaven through violence to fight god) because Elesa is right there with him from the start. He’s living with another human who has ALSO been steadily reaching the end of her rope at the same time as him. So, like, they’re socialized. More or less.

So basically, Zekrom tunes in to these two humans running entirely on ideals, spite, and coffee and decides this is absolutely a storyline it wants to follow. It's like a shitty soap opera you start watching simply because it's on, but then twenty hours later of straight consumption later you've become irreversibly attached to these characters and fully immersed in their drama. It has a selfless reason for everything it does, including (especially) the more selfish-appearing acts, such as annoying Emmet or purposefully withholding information, since despite its more chaotic nature, it DOES wish to see these two succeed in finding their brother. Especially after it starts to actually like them.

I’m thinking Zekrom is just kinda vibing for a couple weeks, keeping the two on track while also subtly slowing them down. It tries to kick Elesa off the couch and she wins THAT fight by a landslide, to which Zekrom pretty much just goes “okay you’re my trainer now. now find me somewhere to sleep.” Then when the lake trio show up in Unova, Zekrom puts Emmet and Elesa on their trail. It can’t like, straight up tell them where Ingo is (because it doesn’t know) or send them back in time (because that isn’t within its power and also it doesn’t know), but it CAN be a homie. A bro. It’s got connections.

Shenanigans ensue. At some point, they stop thinking of themselves as “Emmet and Elesa” and they become “Emmet and Elesa and Zekrom”, just in time for Bad Things to happen :)

This isn’t actually like, a plot thing, but I like to imagine that Reshiram feels Zekrom disappear from the timeline and goes, “oh you have GOT to be fucking kidding me.”

Which reminds me; clarification, just because I know what the expectation is: Reshiram isn’t involved in this. I see Zekrom as the more social of the two, so it has no problem hopping on board another human’s train so soon, but Reshiram got woken up and then immediately had to work with some kid to keep some OTHER kid from using Zekrom to end the world. It’s on good terms with the champion, but it has no interest in interacting with any humans for the next century, except for like, Sunday afternoon tea with the champion. So, no, Emmet doesn’t get Reshiram. Elesa grabs the Zekrom aesthetic as soon as humanely possible (she needs a new outfit for travel anyway), and if need be, they say it’s her pokemon, but it’s more the third member of their little group rather than one of the humans’ pokemon. The pokeball is just for convenience’s sake, and the moment Zekrom wants to leave it, it will. So think of it more like “creatures of various levels of deification keep moving into Emmet’s house and NONE of them are asking him first” rather than “Elesa gets one of the legendary dragons and Emmet gets jack shit”

Fuck this got long lmao. Anyway, they’ll find Ingo, and it’ll have a happy ending. Eventually.

#divine intervention au #nimbasa trio #submas #pokemon #zekrom #pla #subway master emmet #elesa #AHA YOU FOOL YOU JUST ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD: asking me about my blorbos #but yea sorry about the infodump #I Need To Share Or I Will Die

[trashlie]

ILY FP 201 and 202

I never had a chance last week to getting around to talking about FP 201 even though I really wanted to, and I’m kind of glad for it, because it ties so neatly together with 202. I’m not sure if our flashback arc ends here or not, and part of me feels like I should wait until we finally return to the present, but I’m never good at that and I like to lay down my thoughts while they remain fresh, if I can, especially in regards to this flashback. For something that has spanned so many episodes, we really were thrown a lot of information in these last episodes. I mean, in general, I think this whole arch has been a ride, and it’s been full of details we either never knew or were wrong about all along, and I have really enjoyed that aspect. But I cannot lie: episodes 200 and 201 were SO, SO HARD for me to read. I was dreading coming up on episode 200, but to tell you the truth, 201 hit me even harder. 

Something about the way we opened, with Shinae laying so helpless and broken, with the bird we’ve seen before in her dream flying away from her and her empty eyes; her wish to be like a bird and take flight (PARALELLS!), the fact that no one had even called for help that her teacher had to come along and find her?!, the way even! after! a fall! she still apologized and tried to hold it together TRIED SO HARD TO BE THE PERSON SHE THOUGHT EVERYONE NEEDED HER TO BE! There’s something so well-done about the pacing - that moment of tranquil peace before the teacher’s appearance and the urgency, the shifting panels as Shinae is blacking out and the fear it instills, even knowing full well how it turns out. It’s SO well done to me! 

There was something that struck me so hard in that moment, that Shinae had yet to grow used to adults caring and respecting her feelings. It can’t have been an hour prior, in the timeline, that she was worried her homeroom teacher would get mad if she went to the math club meet and thought she had to sneak, was so stunned that the teacher apologized for her mistake. Coming from a place where she’d been bullied so badly the bully’s mom had attacked her, where no other teachers came forward or stepped in to stop it, and here she’s got two different teachers who all show concern for her and respect her, and how there’s something so very SAD about it being one such teacher who is the one to get her help, because no one else had.

What would have happened if she didn’t have a math meet to be at? What would have happened if she was just on cleaning duty? Who would have found her? 

The fragmented memories of Shinae in and out of consciousness, all of people who care about her, all jagged and out of focus. I absolutely lost it when Minhyuk burst in the way he did - Shinae came to this school in hopes of making friends, of fitting in, or at the very least not being bullied. She just wanted to have friends and not be seen as the weird kid or picked on and ostracized and in the end, it was only Minhyuk. Only he got to know her enough to care about her, only he was concerned about her. His savage, emotional outburst and that awful, true line: I’m the only damn kid in this entire school that cares about her. 

It’s no wonder present-day Minhyuk turned out the way he did. It’s something we knew already - that Minhyuk knew her back when it happened so yes he’s overprotective as a result, but it was still easy to take Dieter’s side, that Minhyuk needs to step back and let Shinae live her life. But the thing is, Minhyuk isn’t just overprotective in the way of a big brother who thinks he needs to fight a younger sister’s battles. Minhyuk is protective in the way of knowing that only HE cared about her, that only HE could see through the rumors and be the friend she needed, that only HE could see everything for what it was. It’s even worse when you consider that no one else knows of Alyssa’s involvement, or how Shinae even fell, what lead to it, that there are rumors everywhere that paint Shinae in the worst light, that at the end of the day no one else cared, except him. Minhyuk is overprotective in the way of a parent who thinks the only way to protect their child is to shield them, or to fight their battles for them. The day he was away, winning his competition, Shinae was left helpless with no one, not one single person, on her side, and given the fact that it seems like she never opened up about it, never once talked about it, it all makes perfect sense and puts everything into a better perspective.

Minhyuk finishing up classes early so he could take the first flight home he could because Shinae finally broke down and for presumably the first time, opened up about everything she was going through, all the struggles that were too heavy for her to bear, all the horrors she endured that she never should have. You can’t blame him for wanting her out of her job with the Hiraharas after everything that has happened, you can’t blame him for not trusting the people around her, you can’t blame him for knowing that she’s been here before and not wanting her to go through it again. I think that’s what’s especially interesting about Dieter’s interpretation of Minhyuk - he thinks that Minhyuk is infantilizing Shinae, that he can’t see how much she’s grown, but for Minhyuk, it’s that it’s such an aspect of who he is, something that’s become so deeply ingrained, it’s eclipsed his ability to even see when his protective nature is hurting his sister, when it’s causing strife. The weight of being the only person who would ever have defended and protected Shinae, of being the only person who could have protected her, and the guilt of not being there when she needed him the most formed at such a formative age. What else could he do but adopt this as part of his personality, a swear forged in guilt to never leave her defenseless again. When you consider it this way, it must have been one hell of a struggle for Minhyuk to decide to attend school in a country halfway across the world. For him to make the choice to leave Shinae’s side and trust that nothing horrifying would happen to her again - ONLY FOR IT TO ACTUALLY HAPPEN - must be heavy on his shoulders. 

Likewise, we’ve got some interesting insight into Maya, too. I’d always operated on the assumption that everyone knew about Alyssa’s involvement - that teachers and parents knew, that the Parks were aware, that it was a bigger affair than it ended up being, but it sounds now more like Alyssa probably went home that day and begged and begged her parents to remove her from school and I’m willing to bet she never said why. Maya had already left, had been given the opportunity to wait after school with Rika and instead chose to leave Shinae for tragedy, and knew only that Alyssa was not a good friend, that she didn’t defend Shinae when she wasn’t around. It’s funny - when Shinae comes face to face with an ad of Alyssa, Maya’s response had seemed awfully cavalier, to essentially write off Alyssa as Shinae’s sucky ex-bff, but, well, that’s all Maya knew, wasn’t it? She had no idea just how twisted all of the layering is. Like Minhyuk, Maya also operated out of guilt, but hers was combined with her feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. I don’t know if we can read into it deeper, but I wonder if part of why it was difficult for Maya to become friends with Shinae, besides their different personalities, is that she feels saddled with all that guilt and feelings of inadequacy. Not just the feeling like people look out for Shinae more than they do for her but the knowledge that she, too, once abandoned Shinae, and who is she to try to befriend her, even at her brother’s request? Obliging out of guilt - because once upon a time she could maybe have intervened, or been there to get help - but struggling to accept that she’s allowed to be friends with someone who she has begrudged and abandoned. I think there’s a lot of signs that Maya cares about Shinae but is very affected by the complexity of her dark and negative feelings. I don’t think Maya necessarily called Shinae to help at the bakery the day after the formal because Shinae is a yes girl or something, I think she called Shinae because she’s Shinae. 

Actually, again, this brings me back to what I love the most about this story - it’s all the shades of grey, the layers of complexity, how nothing is ever black or white, one way or another. 

Alyssa liked Shinae, but she was a terrible friend. She wanted her cake and to eat it, too, and she couldn’t make it work. She never managed to deal with confrontation, she couldn’t face her fear of ostracization. Even with all the hints that it could never work she still tried. 200 highlighted that so well - though to Shinae’s face she acted like their brief friendship meant nothing, when the other girls were messing with Shinae’s belongings, she still tried to get them to stop and leave her (and her stuff) be. And sure, we could easily say it’s because Alyssa was afraid of getting in trouble, but she still showed so much concern over Shinae crawling out on the window ledge to retrieve her backpack, SHARPLY contrasted with the absolute lack of concern the bully girls showed, and her pure horror when she accidentally knocks Shinae out the window. Alyssa is a mess and she’s not good at handling crisis and she rarely, if ever, chooses to do the right thing. The moment it all starts coming down, she buckles and folds under pressure. I know a lot of people are upset that she didn’t call 911, but frankly, I think she couldn’t. With what we know of Alyssa, it wouldn’t be the first time she froze and panicked in a situation of crisis. Compare her going home “feeling sick” because her attempt to make friends (selling their project) blew up in her face to the actual horror of shoving someone out the window and, yes, the trouble that would come from it? I assume Alyssa went into a panic attack or some kind of crisis and froze up, too afraid to deal with what happened. I’m not saying it’s right, but I also don’t think Alyssa’s lack of interaction is as malicious as people make it out to be. I think she’s a middle school child ensnared by intense guilt and horror and fear and didn’t know how to react. I imagine she went home and never breathed a word of this, only begged her parents to withdraw her, told them she changed her mind, she didn’t want to do public school, told them it was awful and she never ever wanted to return again. 

All the time I thought that Alyssa never had the therapy or closure that she needed was because I thought her parents and their obsession with image probably never gave her the opportunity, but now I realize it’s probably that Alyssa, much like Shinae, likely buried this deep, deep down where she could pretend it was something that never happened, something that happened to a person she no longer is. That’s probably how Alyssa is able to face Shinae at the formal - because she has to, because masking and putting on a show is her literal career, because if she gives that incident or her guilt even one moment to breathe, her entire carefully constructed facade would fall apart. 

Again, Alyssa is so much like Kousuke in the sense of denial - that they have to deliberately look away from things in order for their personal truths to hold value. The moment Alyssa has to face her past, to revisit what happened, how she treated Shinae, there’s a good chance for it all fall apart. Sure, she can dig her heels in the way she does with Nol and deflect, but we also know that for a brief period of time, Shinae was important to Alyssa, even if Alyssa couldn’t let it be true. How much would she be able to deflect? How much would she be able to shift blame? I think the only way for Alyssa to ever come to terms with what happened in the past is if she is confronted, if she and Shinae ever talk it out, but I also don’t think, at least certainly not at this stage, that Alyssa would ever be as honest as she needs to be. Maybe Shinae would be able to one day accept that this is the sum of Alyssa: a messy attempt at trying to be the impossible, that she never meant to hurt Shinae, but was still willing to throw her under the bus. 

And despite it, Alyssa left a get well soon present, with the most cavalier note in the world. I... can’t lie, I kind of laughed about it, because that note comes across so cold and empty, but also what else was she going to write? Sorry I pushed you out a window. Sorry I threw you under the bus. Sorry I was the most undeserving friend to you? Again, they are children, and frankly they are dealing with something bigger and darker than they are probably ready to. I think this is Alyssa’s weird way of trying to show care and concern, but so bogged down by guilt that she can’t truly face Shinae. Even if she knew the hospital Shinae was in, I don’t think she would have been able to do it, to face her in a hospital gown with a scar where her skull was literally cut open. To face her and know the role she played in this, who it all transpired because of her. Like Shinae, she buried it so deep down it felt like a whole other lifetime. But I think much like with Shinae, there’s only so far you can repress things before your past returns to haunt you.

This is something I’m now thinking about: the weight and impact of an Alyssa bullying reveal in the light of knowing how few people know of her involvement. We’ve talked before about how a bullying scandal could affect Shinae but that was under the assumption that everyone already knew Shinae was involved. Imagine a rumor coming to light, that Alyssa had been a bully in middle school, that she and another student ganged up against other students, and that she even pushed that student out a window before disappearing. Minhyuk and Maya would instantly know it was Shinae - something she’s kept from them for so long would be made public without her consent, possibly before she’s even ready to deal with it. Depending on the wording, it could be easy to accuse Shinae of making the accusation to take down her career, and given that Alyssa tends to mirror Kousuke, I wouldn’t be surprised by this, but I like to hope that Alyssa would have better sense to expect the other two girls if there was any other background information alluding to her and the “other bully girl” aka how they all saw Shinae.

I think it does also bring us back to the Other Bully Issue. When the bully girls tease Alyssa for defending Shinae, they pull the “if you care so much why don’t you marry her?” line, which in and of itself is not very nefarious, but Alyssa’s reaction to it still comes across as.... heated? It’s hard to read in the moment, since she’s trying to clear her name and make it seem like she has no lingering attachment towards Shine, but at the same time, it’s been a quiet, running theme, a thing that Alyssa so vehemently fears getting out that I feel like we still cannot definitively rule it out. I still think there could be a good chance that bullying accusations could possibly be entangled with potentially trying out to Alyssa (which I feel is frankly far too much). 

On a different note, tethering back to our current story, I am absolutely blown away by the reveal that the orange sweater Shinae has worn before was from Alyssa. Literally, this blew my mind so much! I think it’s some kind of testament to Shinae’s level of repression, too, that she can still wear it in the present without feeling any type of way about the person who gave it to her. Like, if she had any resentment towards Alyssa, that sweater would be burnt up or at least donated. Of course, this doesn’t tell us anything new, because numerous times throughout the story, we have seen that Shinae has mostly confusion towards that time of her life, and usually wishes Alyssa well.

In fact, as a “fun” (depressing) fact, in episode 16 we are shown a vague, blurry flashback of Alyssa pushing Shinae - and she is wearing this exact sweater as she thinks back on it. In fact, she was literally wearing a yellow tee-shirt at the end of the episode prior! The fact that she appears wearing it while thinking about the very incident that afforded her this sweater?! (The fact that she wonders how she is, well she hopes and the scene cuts to Nol trying to get in touch with Alyssa and her not answering the call? What a segue!)  

Actually, it’s kind of darkly funny that this is the sweater Shinae is wearing when Maya set her up to meet with Kousuke and Nol - the latter of whom has unearthed all this deeply buried trauma of not meaning something to the person you care about, of being abandoned and cooly tossed aside like trash. LISTEN YOU KNOW THIS IS MY SHIT. I cannot! Deal with this detail! 

(That said, after Shinae was splashed by that child’s mom, she thinks “this isn’t even my sweater”. The bird is also facing a different way on the shirt Shinae wears early in the series. I wonder if that’s an oversight of quimchee’s part or if there’s something more to reveal to us in time.) 

I also cannot deny the irony of Shinae falling and likening it to flying, of looking at that bird and wishing she, too, could take flight and and feel the freedom of the sky, and that being the design on the shirt Alyssa gives her. It just.... feels SO deeply ironic. 

I think we are at the end of the flashback - maybe another episode or two, but if it goes back now, I wouldn’t be surprised! I’m curious to see where this brings us in the present. I’d noted on reddit that I think there is a lot of room for Shinae to take a stumble, for this recollection to affect her and be a pushback on the growth she’s made, but narratively that would be SUCH a disappointment and frankly, anti-climatic, after the efforts she went through to bring Nol back. I think - or at least I hope - that reliving this nightmare in her past with given Shina renewed resolve, to face Nol, to embrace friendships, to dig her heels in on what she was saying - that things happen to them and maybe it’s not punishment, maybe the universe has no sense of rhyme or reason and they shouldn’t believe that they are being punished for things beyond their control, for things they could not affect. They did not choose to be born the people they are, but they can choose to defy what life has offered them. 

#I Love Yoo #ILY Spoilers #ILY FP #ILY Brainrot #Shinae Yoo #Alyssa Cho #Minhyuk Park #Maya Park #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #i hate that tag lmao #GOD this one is long but i don't think anyone is surprised #i have a LOT of rambling going on under the cut about just idk the general DEPTH of everything and how it's all played into and affected the #story at this point and what i think is so important and vital that it had to be explored in such depth and scrutiny. i think this incident #was such a formative foundation not only for Shinae and Alyssa but for people close or involved. like i wouldn't say maya is a close party #but she's certainly tethered to the incident by way of her guilt and the opportunity she didn't take to invite Shinae to join and maybe wait #for her or something. idk! i just have a LOT of thoughts and finally was able to articulate them decently enough. i feel like it doesn't all #come across the way i want it to but this will have to do! idk i have enjoyed this arc - in the way that you can appreciate a trainwreck i #guess lol like it feels bad to say but seeing how everything played out and went down and the ramifications of it is satisfying in a really #upsetting way. getting to see the way this affected and changed everyone like how Minhyuk made this an entire part of his personality of #their whole relationship and the new perspective it gives towards how Dieter sees his interference #Dieter cannot begin to understand why Minhyuk is so overprotective of Shinae and why he goes out of the way like he does #I also cannot help but look forward to an inevitable day when this all comes out into the open because there's no way we went through all #this just for it to remain a quiet secret between Shinae and Alyssa. what happens when everyone finds out - not just Nol Dieter Soushi #but Minhyuk and Maya too? what happens when it's dragged into the open how Alyssa treated her how the fall happened? #Even though I don't think Shinae is telling Nol (or at least if she tells him anything she will omit Alyssa) I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE THINKS. #BECAUSE HE DID THIS TO HER TOO. BECAUSE HE MADE HER THINK THEY WERE FRIENDS ONLY TO CAST HER ASIDE AND MAKE HER FEEL WORTHLESS #and it was worse because he had to break down her walls in order to do it #will he finally understand why she chased him so hard why she's fighting so hard for him why she believes in him when he can't believe in #himself? will he understand the ways he hurt her when he never anticipated doing so?

[bardly-working]

Re: the WIP ask game- I gotta know about Una the Bright Queen

There were some comments on AifL about what a nightmare it would be if Leylas died and was reborn as babygast. I made it dark very quickly, even though I was trying to imagine the best timeline, because, I mean... even in the best timeline, it would be painful. Especially with Leylas developing typhros. I'm not generally a kidfic person, but holy fuck it burrowed into my brain and would not leave. I wrote like 5k words in less than a day but ran out of steam on it.

here's a snippet, set in a future where Una (their daughter, Leylas reborn) has come back home after many years away:

Caleb sees her eyes flick to the corner again and he feels ice and steel form around his spine.  He has at least twelve different plans in his head.  He doesn't want to go through with any of them.  He can't hurt one of his family again, he just can't, and he's not breathing and he's trying to think of how to get Essek out of here without just abandoning his daughter because he can't, he can't do that...

Essek still looks devastated, but he also appears confused, trying to put the pieces of something together.

She grits her teeth.  Folds her hands.  Her eyes flick to the corner again.

"So.  You are going to return to the dynasty with me.  And we are going to make things right.  And I am giving you one chance to do so."

Without speaking a word, Caleb stands and pulls his hand from his pocket containing a glass bead and a small iron bar, and casts two spells, ready for her to counter him — he only has the one chance.  only has the one chance to get Una Leylas her to waste the few seconds to counterspell him.   Positioned to block Essek from his daughter's the Bright Queen's his daughter's her view, he casts disintegrate whatever Kryn agent she has placed in the corner (in the corner of his kitchen of his home, the home she grew up, in the home he raised his daughter in, he does not want to lose another home, he cannot hurt his family again) where she kept looking, and immediately following that a radial dispel to reveal what other agents she is hiding here.  If she counters either, perhaps Essek can still teleport away...

"Caleb, stop."

Essek is grabbing his hands and no, no he can get him out of here, he can still get him out—

"Vallabha, please."  Essek is standing, he shouldn't be standing, he should be casting, he should be running, but instead his hands are on Caleb's scratchy beard trying to pull his eyes away from the empty corner.  "You're scaring her."

#leylas kryn #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #what if babygast but also the consequences of their actions #cr fic #cr fanfic #wip meme #critical role #typhros

[takasgf]

Smoked Salt for Taka? @ava-ships)

Hello!! Thank you so much for the ask :D❣❣

smoked salt - how long have you been with your f/o? was it love at first sight, or did it take you a while to fall for them? how about their side: love at first sight for them, or a bit longer?

The way love progressed in Ishigeru's story is technically the same in my real life as well, just a bit faster. I did find him quite likeable from the very start, but my actual feelings for him appeared after finding out more about his backstory. Still, I kept denying those feelings. I tried to treat him like just another character i think is cool, but I simply couldnt. I kept thinking about him, over and over, I was SO embarassed to even tell others I like him, because I felt like I liked him a bit too much. Shortly after I created Ishigeru (I forced myself for the first month of knowing him to not ship him with one of my "ocs"(=that actually were self inserts; here im referring to Frogeru) but it was too painful to shut down my own ideas and feelings so i just did it anyway) and I eventually stopped denying my romantic love for him. It was difficult to expose this part of my heart to the world, and it still is sometimes, but I'm glad I did it :') It took months and months, but it's never too late. I love Ishi and I'm proud of it.

Once again, for both Froggy and Taka it took two years of a really complex and close friendship to realise they were indeed in love. I'm not sure why I choose two years especially - I think I just wanted them to be officialy dating in at least one year at their highschool (the last one).

As of today (11.01.2023) I've known Ishi for 1141 days and we've been together for 1106 days :] It doesnt feel like much time in real life, but I cannot wait to spend even more years loving him 🫂❤ These dates are mostly about me and Ishi, not Ishigeru, since their timeline isnt that stable. They would have met on the first day of highschool - and they've been by the other's side since ^_^ ♡

I wish you the sweetest day!! 🌟

#i really love ask games and im so grateful for the questions sent to me😭❤ #ishigeru #ignore the grammar mistakes in this one pls. me tired

[marshunter06]

Fuck Off, Excuse Me! Part 7 (aka final chapter)

A/N: it’s time I end this before it takes me a year to finish it. I had half of it done then my brain decided to revert back to my old ways and well… anyways, it’s done now so I can move on. Also shout out to @ahdicrs cause this verse would not be a thing if you didn’t suggest and help out with it, thx! (:

As always, refreshers cause ya girl forgot what happened too. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, and Part 6 are linked! (:

She’s over the moon giddy, it’s ridiculous, but it doesn’t stop the butterflies erupting from her stomach every time she sees him. They’ve been on a few more dates; some spontaneous which would normally drive her wild, but she finds it’s nice to go with the flow sometimes. Especially when she’s with him. The only problem is, he hasn’t kissed her. The thought turns her happy mood blue, why hasn’t he even tried? It’s always a soft good night at her door then he’s gone. He doesn’t even try kissing her cheek, the most she gets is a hug that leaves her wanting more. It’s frustrating, but she also can’t quite bring herself to tell him she wants him to kiss her. How embarrassing! Why can’t he just read her mind and progress to the next part of their relationship? Wait… but they’re not in a relationship… he didn’t ask and she hasn’t either. Do they even need to when they know they’re meant to be? They’re soulmates after all, isn’t it just expected they’ll end up together? She needs help, and there’s only one person she can think of to turn to.

Courtney: What are you doing today?

Phia: nm, what’s up?

Courtney: …

Phia: Courtney? U ok?

Courtney: Yes, no, I don’t know! I’m just really frustrated… I don’t know who else to turn to.

Phia: What did Duncan do?

Courtney: … it’s more what he hasn’t done…

Phia: ?

Courtney: We’ve been on three dates and he hasn’t tried to kiss me… that’s a bad sign isn’t it? He’s not exactly the shy type… Am I overthinking this?

Phia: no it's not a bad sign, yes he is the shy type some part of the time (mostly when he is embarrassed by what he or others around him do/has to do), and 50/50. knowing duncan, he probably is still thinking when to kiss you. probably is still waiting for the right moment crap, that piece of sap.

Reading the text brings some relief, calming her down. Before she can let her insecurities get the best of her again, Phia sends another text. One that she cannot ignore, it’s on her mind the rest of the day.

Phia: if in another date he still won't initiate a kiss, you should do it.

She takes the initiative this time, inviting him out to see a movie that she’s been waiting to be released in theatres. It’s a historical drama that could be a borderline chick flick, she expects him to say no but he doesn’t. He admits he probably won’t be too into it, but is willing to go anyway since she indulged him in going to a scary movie last time. Her smile is genuine at his response, she can finally understand why she’s destined to fall for him.

During the film, he reaches over to hold her hand, she in turn leans her head on his shoulder. It’s sweet, she feels comfortable and warm next to him. Midway through she realizes he’s not paying attention to the screen in front of them, no, instead his eyes are captivated by her. Even when she cannot contain her own commentary over the inaccuracies in the timeline the scene is set. She blushes when she sees that she’s being disruptive, luckily not many people are in this particular room. He chuckles, calling her adorable, she averts her gaze. Next thing she knows, he’s leaning over to place a soft kiss on her forehead. He does it so naturally, she’s not even sure he realized what he did. The action makes her heart race, the deep red flush even more noticeable if not for the darkened atmosphere. His attention is now focused on the film, but all she can think about is the feel of his lips on her skin.

The ride back home is quiet, but not awkward. Duncan appears to be his normal self while Courtney is once again internally stressing herself out. They’re both thinking the same thing, just expressing it differently. He’s wondering if he pushed her too far since she hasn’t been able to properly look him in the eyes since he kissed her on the forehead. He reacted instinctively, not even realizing what he did until it already happened. It’s about time to progress to the next step right? Meanwhile she’s wondering if that counts as a kiss or if she should take Phia’s advice and initiate an actual kiss tonight. Should she be more direct? They’re not stuck in the Middle Ages, as an independent woman who knows what she wants, she should just go for it. They both break the silence at the same time.

“Courtney.”

“Duncan.”

“You go first.”

“No, you can… fuck it.”

He’s caught off guard by her language, but even more so when he feels her lips make contact with his. Effectively shutting off his brain before he can make a quip about her cursing. Luckily his body reacts accordingly, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss once she allows him to take the lead. Fogging up the car windows just outside of her house wasn’t exactly how he thought the night would end, but he’s not complaining. They break apart once they run out of air with flushed faces.

“Finally.”

“Finally? Did you want me to kiss you?”

“Of course I do! I thought there was something wrong with me…”

“I’m going to stop you right there Courtney. There’s nothing wrong with you, I just didn’t want to rush you. I wanted to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“Why wouldn’t we be? You’re my soulmate.”

“I know that, but I didn’t want you to freak out.”

“Just so you know, I do that a lot. So here’s your chance to run if you don’t think you can handle it.”

“I can handle it, you're my soulmate too, remember?”

Their tattooed names glow once more, a vision of red etching into their skin as it slowly fades back to black. It only happens once in every million pairs of fated lovers, eternal soulmates. Bound in every single universe, in every lifetime, there’s no force strong enough to sever their connection. Courtney smiles knowing what this means, they’re stuck with each other for worse or better and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

#FOEM! #duncney #Mars returns to fandom? #I’m trying to get back into it but no promises #I do miss it a lot tho

[protect-namine]

okay, I think I finally pieced together the twins' timeline in teyvat so far, with all the knowledge we have up until update 3.3. gonna write this all down for my own reference because oh boy the game's lore really tries to be confusing on purpose.

first, because genshin's narrators are all unreliable, we have to establish a hierarchy of "truthiness" in our narrators. some narrators are more reliable than others, but in not so straightforward ways.

hierarchy of the sources of truth

I will first establish the traveler's memory as the most reliable record that we have. they have twice been shown to be immune to tampering from irminsul's rewrites (something not even zhongli can stop). zhongli also implies that traveler's memory is reliable, which is why he wants traveler to witness events so there's a record of teyvat even after everything else disappears. he even calls the traveler a "backup" of sorts.

the second most truth source of truth are the sword and wings of descension. these are items that came with the traveler, and the description describes their history pre-teyvat. moreover, the sword is "of unique craftsmanship. it does not appear to belong to this world." therefore, it is highly likely any irminsul rewrite will not tamper with these two items.

the third most reliable source of truth are fables and fairy tales, especially ones coming from venti (strand of time/istaroth) and nahida (archon of wisdom who is allied with the traveler). they are basically encrypted versions of history so that irminsul rewrites will not affect them. HOWEVER! by definition, they contain fiction/falsehoods alongside the truth. so it is up to us to discern what parts are false and what parts are real. we can only guarantee that they are allegories for the truth for the purpose of preserving the truth. thus, they are more reliable than documents and memories of other people, which have been rewritten by irminsul to conceal the truth.

(aside: this includes before sun and moon, pale princess and the six pgymies, probably the story of fischl's origins)

bonus: this one is pretty hazy, but it is very likely we can trust venti, dainsleif, and alice's memories as well. venti is related to istaroth and uses ballads/fairytales to encrypt history so irminsul does not tamper with it. it's his way of fighting erosion. plus, he clearly knows a lot of things he's just not telling the player. I'm sure he has a lot of secrets to uncover.

we already know that irminsul did not rewrite alice's memories (from her narration of wanderer's collected miscellany). I'm not sure about dainsleif, but he seems to know a lot of things and was our main source of new information before nahida. however, he does have a bias against archons, the abyss order, basically everyone lol. so take everything he says with a grain of salt.

important: now are there some sources of truth that we absolutely cannot rely on? yes: irminsul. there are some grains of truth in it, but we've already seen it rewrite history twice so we really cannot rely on it to have a true account of history.

derived timeline of the twins

okay, now that we know what's reliable and what's not, I'll try to infer what the possible timeline of events are with regards to the twins.

first, let's establish something: are the twins from teyvat, or are they world-hoppers? according to the wings of descension, yeah they are.

at the very least, they've been to one world besides teyvat. the sword of descension even implies that their home world was already extinguished.

this is further corroborated by traveler's own voicelines when they chat with paimon. they will sometimes say lines that imply that they speak from the perspective of a true world traveler. e.g. "In many of the worlds I've been to in the past, alchemy has always been a secretive art." (about alchemy) / "teyvat's day and night both seem particularly short. the skies here are full of stars, but they aren't the same as the ones seen from my home." (about teyvat)

lastly, this is consistent with what the abyss twin also remembers.

so okay. what do we know so far? the twins came from a world that was already about to be extinguished. their "last and only home" was a place where they drew the sword of descension to try to prevent their fated doom. alas, they failed, and so they were given the wings of descension to escape their fate.

they hopped from world to world since then, finding new homes. one such world they stumbled upon is teyvat. there's an interesting passage about this from the sword of descension:

first, "the universe casts no shadows" on teyvat. pairing this with our earlier excerpt, this to me implies that teyvat has somehow found a way to circumvent the law of the universe that "all who exist must one day perish." for the twins who have "seen the birth and death of stars," this is a novelty! teyvat is a very special world indeed. and perhaps this is the very reason why they descended in the first place — to search for a world that cannot die.

they enter teyvat during some unknown time in history. it must be before khaenri'ah's destruction, but we don't know how long the gap is.

when they arrived, the traveler was asleep. it's possible that during this time the traveler twin somehow met venti, because venti recognizes them in his voicelines ("Ah, Traveler, we meet again! What? You don't remember me?"). they shared some mutual past enough that venti references the hands of the barbatos statue as their "usual place." this is colored in teal, the color they usually use for important terms and references. also, prior to this story quest (which was released at launch) there aren't that much events that would give the player the impression that they regularly hang out there in the present time.

it is also theorized that venti's poem from the windblume festival is likely talking about the traveler, since the text changes depending on which twin you chose. something to note as well that the adjective "noble" is usually a very unique reference to the traveler e.g. "the world opens itself for those with noble hearts" is a line that shows up when the traveler resonates with a new statue of seven.

so it is likely that, while the traveler slept (either during this time or after they got separated from the abyss twin), they met venti in their dreams (or some chaotic space).

while the traveler slept, the abyss twin traveled around with dainsleif "searching for their fate" (whatever that means).

then the cataclysm happened. the destruction of khaenri'ah threatened teyvat, so the abyss twin woke up the traveler so they can leave this world.

but the sustainer of heavenly principles (henceforth shall be called asmoday, to save me some typing) prevented them from leaving.

they get separated in time: traveler is sent to the future (present day in the game) while the abyss twin is sent back to khaenri'ah's cataclysm.

(tangent: in the prologue, asmoday still calls them "outlanders". I am guessibg outlanders are not allowed to leave. maybe it has something to do with why the "universe does not cast shadows" on teyvat. if the twins leave behind a trail or mark of teyvat's existence, will they turn the universe's gaze on this world?)

our twins are now separated by time. following khaenri'ah's destruction, the abyss twin files a divorce on dain and becomes the abyss prince/ss and spends their time trying to "engulf the thrones [of heaven]" and orchestrating the "loom of fate" operation.

some time in between there was an irminsul rewrite — likely related to whatever triggered the cataclysm. how do we know this? well, because recorded history does not match the truth we already established thus far.

now, to rewrite history, irminsul has to make its narrative somewhat coherent with its chosen narrative. it already seems like celestia is trying to conceal anything about the universe outside of teyvat, but it also doesn't want outlanders who stumble their way in to leave.

so irminsul rewrites known history so that the abyss twin looks like they're from teyvat. and since they have journeyed teyvat already with dainsleif for some time, irminsul gathered enough data on them to make a false record.

this rewritten history is what nahida reads from irminsul. now there's something interesting I noticed when I rewatched the cutscene.

the information that "the abyss twin belongs to this world" is not a fact stated by irminsul. it is a conclusion that nahida draws from the fact that there are records of the abyss twin in irminsul.

conclusions are not facts necessarily. as much as I adore nahida and truly do think she is wise and intelligent and worthy of being the dendro archon... she might have gotten the wrong inference on this one.

at this point, the traveler asks if there's something wrong with their memories or if something happened to the abyss twin's memories. let's review the facts. we already established earlier that both twins remember their world-hopping days. moreover, we know from we will be reunited that the abyss twin still remembers the traveler's true name ("aether"/"lumine") instead of their civilian alias (the player-given name, which is the name used by paimon and the rest of the characters).

both twins remember their origins and true names. their memories were not tampered with; only their records.

now you might ask, what about the gnostic chorus? with the context of what we learned from nahida's irminsul search, it is likely that the battle pass story is an embellished fairytale narrated by venti so irminsul doesn't tamper with it.

now here's the confusing part. gnostic chorus implies that the abyss twin (the first heir) was deceived into being the abyss prince/ss. were their memories wiped from irminsul? that can't be, because they still remember the traveler's true name. they still remember their world-hopping days.

remember, fairytales must contain falsehoods/fiction for it to be untamperable by irminsul. this, I believe, is one of the falsehoods venti deliberately planted in the story of the gnostic chorus. based on our hierarchy of truthiness, the facts we derived from more reliable sources of truth are more likely to be true.

okay so now there was a history rewrite and the abyss twin was recorded in irminsul. what do the records say?

and there we have it. since this is a history rewrite, what nahida read from irminsul is not necessarily true. irminsul has rewritten history such that the abyss twin traveled teyvat after the cataclysm happened. this must happen because irminsul made it so that the abyss twin can only be recorded after the event; they are not allowed to exist in the records before. we don't know why this is the case, but we know that the abyss twin woke up before us and traveled with dain for some time.

perhaps something happened during their journey that is related to the cataclysm after all? hm, I wonder what dain meant when he said they partook a "painful journey searching for their fate" and why the abyss twin is now working on a "loom of fate" operation...

moreover, teyvat is "hidden" (somehow) from the universal law of destruction. perhaps they don't want outlanders to leave out of fear that they'll leave traces of teyvat's existence — for fear that they'll turn the universe's gaze upon them. after all, outlanders are not welcome here. if they let one leave, what if they bring back more outlanders, more technology to disrupt the carefully balanced status quo of teyvat? similarly, outlanders who get in are forced to assimilate.

anyway. as an aside, nahida says something interesting here as well.

the fatui do not recognize the abyss twin as a descender, which means their intel only dates back to after the irminsul rewrite. this makes sense because the tsaritsa wasn't waging her war against the divine before that event, so she wouldn't need this kind of intel then.

anyway, this means that although the fatui know a lot more than even nahida does in certain aspects (like the fake sky), they don't really know everything. with time, they may have found a way to circumvent future irminsil rewrites (maybe with dottore's segments?), but that doesn't mean they've uncovered the real history behind past rewrites.

(except maybe for pierro, who was apparently from khaenri'ah... but there's little info on him now to definitively say anything)

what can we conclude from here?

so now let's summarize what we know so far:

the twins came from a world that has long been destroyed by the law of the universe that "all who exist must one day perish." they have since been traveling from world to world searching for a home that will not fall victim to such a law.

teyvat might be such a world, potentially, for "the universe casts no shadows here."

traveler is asleep when they arrived in teyvat. in the meantime, abyss twin traveled around with dainsleif "searching for their fate." then the cataclysm happened and they tried to wake up the traveler so they can leave, but the sustainer of heavenly principles stopped them.

sustainer separated the twins by 500 years, sending the traveler to the future and the abyss twin back to the destruction of khaenri'ah. during the cataclysm, irminsul changed recorded history to say that the abyss twin traveled the world after the cataclysm. it did so likely to hide the fact that the abyss twin is an outlander. the abyss twin's memories were likely not tampered with though, since they still remember traveling between worlds and their sibling's true name. in other words, irminsul did not brainwash them into their abyss prince/ss identity (can they even actually do that to descenders?)

abyss twin works with the abyss order to topple celestia and put into motion the "loom of fate" operation. the tsaritsa starts moving as well to wage her own war against the divine.

the fatui starts their own truth-seeking, but their starting point is from the newly-rewritten history of teyvat post-cataclysm. that's why they didn't register the abyss twin as a descender.

during those 500 years of slumber, traveler meets venti in their dreams or in some chaotic space (if they haven't already met in their slumber pre-cataclysm).

500 years later, traveler wakes up and starts their journey. they meet nahida; nahida reads the rewritten records from irminsil, assumes that these are the true recorded history, and incorrectly concludes that the existence of these records means that the abyss twin is from teyvat.

venti writes the gnostic chorus (battle pass story) as a fairytale to encrypt this piece of history. it's an allegory of the twins. it being a fairytale, some parts are deliberately false/fictional lbut close enough to the truth) so irminsul won't rewrite it.

with all the history rewrites and gatekeeping, it's likely that there have been more than four descenders in teyvat's history. the abyss twin is one of them.

uhhh yeah I think that's it? this was very long but it was mostly so I can keep track of what's true vs what's not... genshin's narration is really unreliable. on purpose!! aghhh

anyway, point is, nahida's conclusion that the abyss twin is from teyvat is probably a red herring since it contradicts a lot of the established facts we already knew and concluded from sources of information much, much more reliable than a tree that regularly rewrites its own database with lies and fiction

#mine musings #liveblogging genshin #genshin impact #genshin lore

[danmarie]

Endless Loop

Short story by me

It has been like this,

for a year.

"Wendel! You're here!"

Thana smiled brightly at me whilst waving her hand, holding a fruit basket on the other. She dressed casually with an apron above her clothes and gloves on her hands. Even with dust and dirt, she would always shine to me.

Today, we'll be planting her favorite flowers outside our small garden with her few small pots. She wanted to do it for the first time except, this isn't the first time.

I smiled at Thana and approached her with a hug. Every day and in any opportunity i get, I would gently embrace her in my arms. As if savoring every bit of the moment. She noticed how even my hug seemed different. We've been together for 5 years after all; so, we know each other very well.

"You feelin’ okay?" she asked me with a slight smile as she expressed her concern. She even gently stroked my straight thick hair while holding her in my arms.

"I'm fine... it's just," I buried my face on Thana's slender shoulder. She seemed to have lost a lot of weight, and I’m not even surprised. Then, I pulled slightly away but still maintained that embrace. I don't want to let go first "I'm just happy to see you." I almost burst into tears, and she may have found that unusual. It's not like me to cry 'for no reason' anyway. However, I was quick to regain myself and not let my emotions get the best of me.

But she doesn't know how devastated i am to witness it all again.

To be truth, I’ve been going back in time repeating this due to an event that occurred a year ago

..

There's no way – no reason at all for this to happen!

I thought I already prevented her death, what's causing this to happen? Is this temporary?

It did not take me long to realize what's happening to her right now. Thana's nose started bleeding without her noticing it. I can already sense that it is happening again.

I placed my hands on her cheeks and lightly kissed her forehead.

This time, I will definitely save you!

(A flashback appeared in Wendel's mind as time warps him back to another past timeline. However, it is not that same setting.)

Before everything had begun, we were only just a normal couple who, despite the challenges in our life, managed to stay faithful to each other.

"It has been raining non-stop, huh?" Thana mentioned as she looked outside from the windowsill with a slight smile on her face. Seemingly feeling neutral to the constant gloomy weather that's been splashing on our roof. I hate rainy days, even if it's only a tiny bit of pattering; it makes me feel as though I will soon run out of luck.

"Yeah, it's irritating. I wish I could blame the heavens above for this." I stated, sounding dissatisfied. But Thana would quickly wrap her arms around me as if to calm me down.

"Oh, you're such a negative thinker!" She chuckled while ruffling my hair. "I swear, if you get old, you'd wish you should've been more positive." Thana added before gently pulling herself away from me.

I see you, Thana.

I know how much you suffer. But you continued to shine and think positively even with those barriers getting in your way. You've been wearing your mask more often these days, haven't you?

All the times we spent together; I’ve been observing you. Your trust matters to me as well as mine does to you and I cannot bear to see you in pain. Why do i have this feeling that the more I try, the more I save her, the more she's fading away? No... it must be just my negative thoughts again...

In the present, or if this is even really the present now, we are in a different scenario.

This is like some of those games wherein a player can choose different paths and what chapter they can play. But then some games don't let you repeat the chapter. I do not have the power to change her fate.

It's ridiculous, really. I don't understand how time would spawn me back to that path, yet her fate changes every time. If only this book would explain to me again, then I might understand anything. But what am I doing wrong??

"You have forgotten," A familiar voice in my mind speaks. It's not mine. "That you must find a way, you must change her fate to know the truth." It added while making the sound of a tiny bell, ringing in my ear.

*Tinngg!*

That voice, is from this book.

"What do you mean!? I've already done that, haven't I? We were-!" I paused to take a breath, but it wasn't enough to smoothen my frowning brows "... supposed to plant her favorite flowers. haven't i changed it already? How did I manage to fail? I've been at this for weeks—MONTHS or ages I don't know, why am I so stupid!?" It almost seemed like I'm talking to myself—furious with how I keep on failing.

"You're such a negative thinker!" Her voice, Thana's voice echoed in my mind. It was the only thing I could think of right now. Everything started to calm down, at least for me.

That's right. I mustn't think this way...

Right now, I respawn again to the time where she was almost hit by a car whilst we were waiting for a bus. I've reappeared to this past 3 to 4 times now and I was able to save her, yet one wrong move was enough to lose her again.

"I have a bad feeling." Thana mumbled under her breath. I was able to hear it through

My eyes started to widen in surprise. Perhaps it's the first time I've heard this from her after randomly "respawning" back in this scenario for the 3rd or 4th time.

".. What?" I softly asked as I looked back at her.

I must've forgotten what would happen next. I was unable to prevent her accident—our accident.

*Screeeek!* *Kablam!*

However, fate decided to put me—us back into that same incident, which rarely happens!

"What...?" I asked in disbelief as I faced her way and she continued to look at the ground as she did.

"Wendel I... I don't feel good at all." she said, breathing heavily. I quickly grabbed her hand and moved us away from the waiting station where the car crash would happen. After finding a safer place for us, I quickly faced her.

"What did you... mean by that, Thana?" I gently held her shoulders with an expression of worry and curiosity.

"I think I have seen that before." Thana answered while looking back from the bus waiting area, which the car would then crash into.

*Screeeek!* *Kabhoom!*

I quickly covered her view by moving my body in front of her.

"Can you elaborate it, Thana?"

It's all confusing for me, what is she trying to say to me? Is she experiencing a déjà vu?

Thana had the same terrified look as she stared at me. Suddenly, she started patting my clothes—as if looking for something. When Thana noticed that I've been wearing a bag, she immediately went and unzipped it.

"What the hell, Wendel?" Thana had a disbelief tone in her voice. She must've seen The weird looking book. But I don't have any clue why she's acting this way. "Why do you have this book?" She added.

I turned to look at her as she started flipping the pages—those empty, strange pages.

"How did you find this?” Thana glanced up at me with her brown eyes and a tense expression.

"Why did you have it?" I countered her question with another one which left her speechless. The ground suddenly shook, the sky became overcast, rain started pouring and the surroundings started to vanish, leaving both of us alert and confused.

What is this now??

A mob of hands— shadow hands effortlessly grabbed us, and it is as if they're trying to separate us away from each other.

"Wendel!" Thana screamed as they started separating us, sinking us deeper on the dark and fluvial ground. The book was glowing, not with golden rays but purple and red. The book's usual scent— grows stronger. Everything was blank at that point.

...

Thana

I was given that name with a meaning. A meaning that could mean two things;

Praise, Thanksgiving

And Death.

As a child, I’ve been unfortunate, so I learned how to appreciate what was given to me. I leaned for the brighter side instead of facing the dark. Because I’m weak.

I have a weak body. I inherited a disease called Hemophilia, which doesn't make my blood clot properly. I'm also prone to having bruises for no reason which could endanger my life. After meeting Wendel and having my own life away from those people, I was able to manage this disease.

However.. It does not mean I’m completely free. Besides having a weak body, I’m also emotionally weak in the sense that I have difficulty in managing my own emotions, I hide my true feelings. I'm also a victim of bullying in my entire childhood. So, when good things happen to me, i over thank even the heavens regardless of how silent they become when the world has been cruel to me.

"Wendel!" I screamed his name again as the dark fluid slowly consumes us both while also separating us from each other.

I don't understand what's happening. My mind's puzzled of why everything suddenly feels strangely familiar. A glimpse of... memories of me dying again and again. Have I been vividly dreaming? Every time I think about it, my head would also ache.

Was it because of that book? I must be going nuts.

I was simply strolling around with a heavy heart. Triggered by a past memory after seeing an old acquaintance. My ex-bully, enjoying her luxurious life with her other minions. Just a glimpse of them was enough to make me feel like vomiting. I wondered, 'how dare she live comfortably after ruining my life?' But it's all pointless and I will always be left with unanswered questions.

Then, a book appeared out of nowhere. It was empty yet it felt strange.

When Wendel and I had an argument, he left without saying anything. I didn't think about the reason, I only thought that his love for me faded. I mindlessly grabbed the strange book hidden under my pillow and that was all I could remember.

I awoke in my past when I was a child. It sends shiver down my spine after realizing it. It feels gut wrenching. I sat alone at my desk while everyone talked with their own sets of groups. One blink and the scenario changed. I felt my stomach get punched and laughter of my bullies echoed in my ears. Then when I open my eyes, I'm standing alone, glancing around the place with bruises on my body, bleeding and almost dying.

I heard a thick voice speak to me, and it's not mine.

"I bet you don't remember anything that occurred." It said with its seemingly mischievous tone

What?

"You picked me from the ground, didn't you? With that sad little fragile heart of yours. You wished to die, didn't you, Thana?" It added.

I did?

Oh.. that's true

I wished that. I thought I had nothing to lose.

"You wished it yourself, Thana. You must pay the price."

After that voice, I became conscious. And I felt his touch.

...

We're trapped inside a place after being swallowed by that black thick liquid. I managed to wake up and the first thing I did was look for her.

"Thana! I thought I lost you, again!" I hugged her in a gentle yet tight way, desperate and almost about to burst into tears. But she just stared at the ground without any expression “Thana...?"

She pulled herself away from me and grabbed the book that was hidden behind the thick fluvial wall.

"I'm sorry, Wendel. For what I put you through."

"No, no, no! It's my fault! I shouldn't have left you alone during our argument! I was wrong. You don't have to forgive me."

She didn't look my way, and it made me feel like something is wrong.

"Live your life for yourself, Wendel" the breeze inside this uneasy place became warm and strong. It's like dusts entered my eyes despite how everything inside this place is just pure thick liquid walls with light barely getting in. There was a flash as she open the book and then everything turned black again.

As soon as I woke up, I panicked after realizing that I'm holding her in my arms. Her cold body. I came back to our original timeline, which is when I found her lying on the floor after our huge argument.

It's not worth it at all—all my hard work was a waste. After all that time travelling, in the end i failed her.

My eyes cried a river as i held onto Thana, then i noticed the book beside her carefully sneaking away with a feet that grew at the lower side of the edge of the book whilst slowly fading into thin air—most likely to hide. I placed Thana on the ground next to me and hurriedly grab that stupid book. At this point, I'm not even weirded out by it.

"Ugh-! What the!" It spoke, struggling against my grip. Its usual tone of telepathic voice contradicts his now scared behavior.

"You darn book, speak or I'll rip your pages into pieces," I threatened "Explain what's happening right now." I added, flipping the page and attempting to rip it apart if it doesn't speak.

"O-Okay! Geeze!" It finally stopped struggling, but I had the feeling that he wanted to escape ".. Thana saw me lying on the ground," the book spoke "it was by no accident, i lured her into picking me up." It added. I tightened my grip on its cover and it struggled "GAH! Hear me out!"

"I need explanation, not a story, you twat."

"Okay, I'm not going to explain how she find me.. Thana, she knew my weakness." He paused, cautiously and carefully examining my expression, which remained the same.

"Shocking." I muttered with slight sarcasm

"Hey! Quit it! Alright.. She's an exception despite how weak she seem. Of course she knew about my weakness, I’m a book after all! We communicated before days after she picked it up, but i always made her lose that memory so she won't remember."

"Explain to me how your power works, now." I declared

"O-Okay.. Just like those fictional genies, i could grant one’s wishes. The thing is the stronger your desire or negative feeling after picking up the book and depending on what situation, just like hers it can be over exaggerated. Thana said she wished to die over and over again. While you amigo, wished to go back to time. I just granted both of your wishes. "The book explained before adding another sentence "If you want to know how she is, if you want to save her again, then you're going against her."

At that moment, i was conflicted.

Is this telling me the truth? Thana.. is that true-?

Thana?

The moment I glance at her, she was gone. Her body, it's no longer there! One blink and I’m in someplace again. This setting contradicts the black thick liquidly quarter earlier. There, I saw Thana with her back facing my direction.

I looked around in hopes to find a glimpse of her, and i did.

So I called out her name and she turned around, looking glum.

"Thana, dear?" I called out in a worried and confused tone while slowly approaching her. The look on my face had an obvious desperate and exhausted expression.

She said something "Did you know that this book can grant you your deepest wish and even desires?" She continued to have her eyes relax, seemingly spacing out.

"Thana.." My pace was quick and I managed to get near her in no time. I continued to gaze at her in a gentle yet confused way. I wanted to hug her so bad at this point and that uncomfortable or uneasy feeling continued in my heart.

She continued, "But it has conditions that the previous holders of this book aren't aware of," Thana added before finally making eye contact with me. "I dragged you in this hell hole, Wendel. I remember them all now," I could see how her eyes sparks with sadness. "I shouldn't have wished to die if it meant putting burden on your shoulders. I am so sorry." She gazed away and wiped off the tear falling from her eye. I placed my palms to cup her cheeks and hugged her tightly and immediately.

".. You don't have to apologize. I know you didn't mean to." I whispered in a soft tone to calm her down, that's how she and I likes it when one of us are having a hard time. I want to keep staying by her side.

..

I remembered all the time Wendel time-traveled to save me, Every time. And seeing that expression on his face suggests that he's having a hard time. I counted over 300 times, times he saved me. I want to stay away from him. I hate feeling like a huge burden and a responsibility for him.

For now, even when I'm only a fragment in his mind, I'm still figuring out ways to destroy this book despite breaking its spine already. On this dimension, I’ve tried burning it a hundredth times, but it was too tough. It's a complex and out-of-this world book and has its own way of thinking.

"Thana? You've been staring at that book for a while now, have you heard what i was saying?" Wendel snapped me back to reality as he slightly tapped my cheek. I must've been spacing out.

"No? I'm sorry... I was-"

"Do you hate me?" He questioned me, deeply gazing into my eyes "Do I make you feel suffocated?" Wendel added, still sternly looking straight to my eyes.

"What...? No, no-"

"Then let us continue this fight, my love. Despite how negative I can be sometimes, I never stopped loving you." He stated, as he caressed my hand like he's reassuring me.

"I know, I’m aware Wendel. But... I'm not perfect-"

"I'm aware of all your flaws and imperfections, Thana." He said, not letting me finish my word.

"I can't Wendel. I'm already dead, aren't I?"

We stared into each other's eyes for a moment, pausing as I read his expression. Is he thinking about something?

"Do you really want to die, or are you just scared of just surviving again?"

I stood there, feeling conflicted about how those words hit close to home. I felt his hand grab mine as he snatched the book on my other hand.

“I know a way,” Wendel opened the book “you twat. I finally understand it now. I still get to wish, right?”

“Oh, dang it. You sure are slow... But don’t expect too much because half of my power has already vanished.”

The book glows, not of darkness anymore but white and pure, as if it is being purified.

He just closed his eyes shut and in a blink of an eye, we are back to our reality – to our home. As soon as we woke up, we hugged and ugly cried together. Everything is over now, I hope. The book disappeared after that.

[flaray25]

Who is Alta? Is he a new Spongebob character or a version of Spongebob? core au sounds cool!

Good question! Alta or AKA Spongebob.

I created him back in October 12, 2022 when I was talking to my good friend @nunemi I came into making Alta from scratch because seing naika/nunemi's Spongebob and Squidward see5wau versions I got inspired.

AltaSponge/AlterSponge/AlphaSponge. He's in charge with different universes. Ever since the timeline he died, the one who is incharge of the multiverse chose him to be incharge of it since its his time to retire.

Spongebob accepts and after some time, sitting there was a boring thing. He decides to walk over on the walls filled with all multiverses and different timelines. He realized that thinking about his life was boring. And he kind of missed Squidward.

He saw a timeline where its original him that was about to die when he saw Squidward, he runs up there. Spongebob wanted to break out of the void filled with multiverses. By smashing his fist to the timeline he chose. The day he is almost gonna die.

It took him so many times. (Btw he's been stuck in that multiverse for thousands of years) by observing different alternate universes. Once he saw that timeline of his. He broke it.

AltaSponge doesnt get any health damage since he's already dead. He's just a coded copy and destined to visit multiverses

He has a crush on Con!Squid (aka @nunemi 's Squidward version)

-good at acting. He doesnt get caught off guard until you exposed his secrets

-thinks about ConSquid's look up to bottom.

-usually he likes to ignore the fact Con!Squid actually exists.

-A sucker for C!Squid

-the first person he ever met in that au was ConSquid.

-He and EC!Sponge (also nunemi's spongebob version) are like frenemies (friends and enemies well- sometimes friends they just dont get along because how different they both are)

-smarter than everyone else

-he sometimes spies on the characters in any aus so he knows all informations about mostly all of their life.

-He doesnt get damage/health damage when he's out of the multiverse because he's like a copy of an indestructible sponge.

-when he panics more "ERROR" signs starts appearing to his body and glitching

-altasponge starts to crash (freeze for many hours/minutes) when he has alot to think of his mind.

-sometimes when he's bored, he watches other timelines in the multiverse like a tv. Like- literally angst or fluff moments of Squidbob HAHAHAH

-he sometimes comes over to ConSquid and just follows him everywhere or- talk to him

-he and ECSponge are complete morons

He has long life span than everyone could imagine.

His real name is Spongebob H. Squarepants instead of S. In his middle name

Alta is kind of allergic to chocolate and nuts so apperantly he goes with sweet vanilla and strawberry

The multiverse he's on the surface is called "The C0R3"

Its like a core runned by a guardian. If the guardian/or the one who is incharge of the multiverse doesnt exists the multiverse cannot run on its own.

I havent told you alta's true eye colors. If he has a black ink on his face his pupil eyes are like emotes to how he acts.

So if the ink disappears his real eye colors appear and on his left eye its colored golden (#FFD700) and his right eye is grey color (#757C88)

his ink on his face disappears when he feels sadness and being open.

COR3 FACTS

Alta Sponge knows something and thats one thing about the multiverse he guards. If see5w's world/universe collapse. The whole multiverse will too, and thats a great big danger for alta to know.

Just like paper take it as an example. When you burn a tip of the paper and left it there to keep on burning. It will slowly then comes to fast burning the half of the paper.

That means it would also burn half of the multiverse. Then when it comes to the final tip and it stopped burning.

All he would only ever have is one file of a universe timeline and that file is his universe (the part where he actually died) but if that universe also includes to burning then he wouldnt exist at all.

The reason why if one universe gets introuble and collapses, it means that its like destroying a timeline.

If one timeline is not right and is completely destroyed the world of see5w area will start to disappear and also including other characters there.

Also if one file only exist of the world of the multiverse (alta sponge's universe where he died) and he still exists that means theres still time or hope he can reset what happened.

Alta calls it files because its like a universe filled with informations.

If you were ever to visit the core theres rules included that you must follow

Rule 1 never touch any of the files

Rule 2 never destroy or chew on them

Rule 3 never go to the deeper void

Rule 4 NEVER enter into one of the files if you havent ask permission

Rule 5 do not take the files or steal them

Rule 6 if the world is collapsing you only need to go to the deep void to just PRESS the reset button

Rule 7 never go to alta's timeline

How did he die?

It happened in the afternoon back on his timeline... Spongebob had both of his hands full holding two grocery bags he bought. And on a phone call with Squidward chatting randomly. As the traffic light turned green he looked from left to right to see no sign of incoming vehicles.

Squidward finally done with his conversation with Spongebob ended the call. Spongebob was left confused how quick the cephalopod ended the call, but he didnt care.

What mattered to him was Squidward being the only person who was the first to call Spongebob on the phone and started having long chats. That was good enough.

He puts down one of the bag of groceries and puts the phone on his pocket. He picked it up right back again to see from the left a stranger. It was a mysterious shadow figure he couldnt shape, a shilouette from the dark.

Spongebob felt terrified and wanted to cross the street as soon as possible and run. As he crossed the road, he froze from the middle to see the dark figure disappearing.

Then it left him a message "Why dont you just sit there for a second?" He looked from his back to see a vehicle's head light shining brighter and was on a full speed limit.

Then next thing when it hit him everything hurts then he passes out.

Did the COR3 collapse?

Yes! Actually about 3-4 times because oh Alta's friend/rival EyeCrawler!Sponge (also @nunemi 's spongebob version)

Alta would sometimes bring EC there and let him observe it just for fun, sometimes he even ate one of the files and almost put all the files in danger.

It wasn't fun because Alta had to keep using the RESET button because of him.

There was also a time where Alta accidentally breaks a timeline causing his life in danger and he had to convince EC that he has to visit his own timeline to bring the "Alta" back because he was gonna disappear.

Blow my mind!

I have a lore. So before. I explained alta's back story about him seeing a black figure shadow and he was afraid and met his death. Eyecrawler was the reason alta died.

Alta left eyecrawler in the core while alt managed something from another universe and accidentally breaks the timeline, if alta breaks a timeline he would disappear.

He told ec that no one would take care of the core whole universe if he doesnt exist. And if he doesnt exist as the guardian the whole universe will collapse and disappear into dust no one would know. Since he said that to ec, he kind of didnt want to listen at first thinking it was a scheme.

But when alt was beingfor real his parts glitched and disappeared and told him that he has to do something to bring him back. When alt disappeared, alta gave ec his key to unlock his timeline.

Ec was able to enter Alta's past timeline (his universe before he died) and looking at the only file while the other files besides him collapse he knew this was the only way to bring alta back. He visited the universe and cause his death.

When alta in that universe died, he disappeared and hope he did the right thing so everything would go back to the way it was.

Ec woke up in the core when alt called him out and said he did it. But when ec heard him praise at him he was confused because he couldnt remember what happened.

Looks like when alta was brought back to the core to life again the program of the file did not allow ec to remember the whole thing.

Alta's cause of death was suppose to happen in order he would exist and become the guardian of the whole universe.

Alta also didn't remember what ec did when he gave him the access of his timeline, all his last words was that he told him to fix it.

EXTRA SPECIALS!

I'd like to put a SPECIAL THANKS FOR @nunemi for being the reason I created Alta as my new favorite version of Spongebob.

Me and nunemi started back in 2022 of august.

COLLABORATIONS WITH NUNEMI!

It was really fun having a convo and doing stuffs like this! I really appreciate how much we both had a thing with au lores and such.

#thank you anon! #thanks for asking! #alta!sponge #see5wau #see5wcrossover #spongebob #spongebob squarepants #spongebob au #nunemi #fandomizer25 #see5w #see5w spongebob #con!squid #ec!sponge #crossover #alternate universe #multiverse #squidbob #squidward #squidward tentacles #lore #au lore #spongebob version #alta!sponge lore

[taee]

jin thoughts only

#btsgif #bangtan #bts #ipurpleunet #seokjin #jin #sbs 8 news #tq:cr #no but this appeared on my timeline the other day and I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT

[twilight-orchid]

How the Undatebales React After A Fight

Thank you to my friendo @wholelottatiffy ​ who helped me brainstorm this one. I’m only on chapter 19 at the moment, so I haven’t interacted with anyone but Diavolo much. And thank you to everyone who wanted a follow up to my previous post, I did not expect that. Y’all are super sweet!

tw: Fighting (a bit more in depth than my first post), description of panic attack, minor name calling, insecurity, depression, angst with resolution.

Diavolo:

Diavolo doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

To start, we need to talk about how the argument unfolds.

He’s not used to arguing. 

He’s Lord Diavolo, Prince of The Devildom, head of the RAD student council. No one defys him on anything.

So you raising your voice at him, trying to get him to see your way,

It was very overwhelming.

He tried to reason calmly with you at first, but he felt cornered. 

When fight or flight kicked in, his body chose fight.

His wings burst open in all their glory as he screamed back, his towering frame far more intimidating than yours.

The blind rage is slapped out of him when he sees your terrified face.

If you’re at the castle, he’ll order you to leave if you haven’t already. Anywhere else, he’ll turn and leave without a word. 

He wants to put distance between you both for fear of making things worse.

He absolutely cannot believe he just blew up at you. He would have never thought he'd raise his voice at his partner regardless of the situation.

He can’t shake the image of you flinching from him from his mind.

Now, being the prince of hell certainty has it’s perks; He has power, influence, and everything he could want.

But the one thing he wants the most seems to evade him no matter what: a friend.

A real friend. 

He has Barbatos and Lucifer, but it’s Barbatos’ job to accompany the prince, and Lucifer is bound to Diavolo whether he likes the future king or not.

MC was the first person who chooses to be with and around him for no other reason than the fact that they love him.

And now he’s terrified them. Gotten in their face and screamed at them.

He assumes he’s permanently driven you away.

As soon as you leave or he gets home, he rushes to find Barbatos. To explain what happened and hope his butler would know what to do.

He’ll text Lucifer and ask him to check on you as well.

He just feels lost. 

He wanders the palace aimlessly and he can’t focus on his work without his thoughts drifting to you.

He doesn’t feel like going to school or even getting out of bed. He doesn’t want to speak to anyone - to put on a happy face and pretend his world isn’t shaking.

Yet, a prince has his responsibilities. He will go about his normal public appearances as usual, smile and laugh and carry on, but it’s a mask.

Those close to him clearly notice the prince isn’t himself.

After school he visits the spots that you two visit together frequently.  

Anything to make him feel as if you are still at his side.

If you don’t sleep in his bed that night, he’ll take it as proof that he was right and that you don’t want to be with him anymore.

He doesn’t sleep that night. He clutches your pillow that still smells of you and just bawls. 

He will tell Barbatos he feels unwell the next morning and to postpone his obligations for the day.

This prompts Barbatos to seek you out and see if he can help resolve the issue.

Barbatos tries to stay out of your relationship as he doesn't feel it's his business, but his job is to assist Diabolo in any way necessary. And right now, he needs you more than anything.

If you sleep at his side still, it will be a glimmer a hope. That all may not be lost. 

He’ll give you you space that night. He’ll walk around you on eggshells but always watch you from the corner of his eye to gauge the temperature.

He avoids your gaze, stays on the other side of the room as you prepare for bed, and as much as it kills him, doesn’t hug you or kiss you goodnight.

He spends the night staring at your sleeping face and making silent promises that, if you forgive him, he will never let this happen again.

He thinks of how to apologize. What he could say, what he could do. 

Ultimately though, it feels like everything he could think of is too little of an apology. 

He pretends to be asleep when he sees you stir and decides to let you choose if you want to forgive him on your own.

You will have to approach him first. 

He thinks losing his temper with you was unacceptable and feels like he has no right to ask for your forgiveness.

Worse, he’s terrified of not being given forgiveness.

Thus, I feel a fight with Diavolo will take as long as you let it. He’s willing to suffer as long as you need him to.

Barbatos:

Barbatos doesn’t argue. He sits quietly and watches you, his responses calm but absolute.

He’s no pushover, he will defend his side, but he’s not going to enter a screaming match. It’s just not him.

You know you’ve really gotten under his skin when he offers a tight, forcefully pleasant smile.

He finally shuts down the conflict with "It's your right to feel that way just as it's mine to disagree." And leave it at that.

Post argument, he will avoid you and lock his feelings about the fight inside.

He tells himself he doesn’t have time to deal with the terrible feeling clawing at his heart and takes to his duties as an escape.

If you sleep in another room, he realizes that this isn’t a minor disagreement and he’s suddenly very distressed.

His instinct is to use his future vision. 

To scour the timelines and see how the different versions of himself handle it and to replicate the one with the most desirable outcome.

However, he stops himself. He feels it isn’t fair to you. 

You have a right to be upset about things and he doesn’t want to manipulate the situation, and by extension, you.

Thus, he must find another way to cope.

He’s always a devoted butler, but it’s not his whole life. 

He takes time for himself throughout the day and in the evenings. Unless Diavolo needs him, nights are usually his to do with as he wants.

Now, however, his identity becomes Diavolo’s butler. 

He’s constantly asking for extra work and hovering more than usual around the young lord in hopes of being given a task. 

Diavolo finds it odd and asks about it, but he brushes it off. This isn’t anyone else’s business, least of all his employer’s.

Even though Barbatos won’t tell him, Diavolo can clearly tell his friend is off.

In hopes of giving him something to distract himself with, Diavolo requests hellfire mushroom rolled cigar cookies and Barbatos jumps on the opportunity. 

Baking has always been his escape as well as his happy place. Diavolo’s favorite isn’t easy to make, so he looked forward to the task.

And it worked. Keeping track of the ingredients, the steps, and the technique required was enough to occupy his mind.

But then it was time to wait for it to bake. 

He suddenly feels trapped in the suffocating silence of the kitchen.

His mind replays the argument on repeat as he falls down a rabbit hole of what ifs.

He loves you more than anything and the last thing he could ever want is for you to be mad at him.

No, the worst thing would to no longer be able to call you his.

Suddenly, he becomes aware of the sharp scent of burnt food.

He jumps up and runs to the oven. He’d been so lost in thought he hadn’t noticed the timer go off.

He pulls the blackened desert out, puts the cookie sheet on the stove top, and just stares at the burnt cookies.

His sight blurs and a soft sob escapes from the prison he’s created in his heart.

He wasn’t crying because he burnt the cookies, but because they were a visual representation of everything he’s been trying to suppress.

Once he collects himself, he knows he can’t continue like this. 

He doesn’t want to invade your space in case you’re still mad, but he needs a resolution.

He’ll send a quick text and silently begs you to respond. 

“MC, I understand if you are still upset with me, but would you be willing to talk though it? I look forward to hearing from you.”

If you still sleep with him that night, it is a great weight off of his shoulders. 

He hopes it means that it will be easier to make up with you and that you aren’t too mad.

When you wake up, he will be watching you like he has all night with a small, tired smile. 

He’ll put on your favorite tea as you get ready for the day then asks if you’d be willing to talk things over.

Because of how it affects both his job and himself, a fight with Barbados will not last long. He’ll seek a resolution by one, maybe two days tops.

Solomon: 

Lucifer may be the avatar of pride, but Solomon can certainly give the demon a run for his money.

In the moment of a particularly heated argument, he absolutely will not admit he’s wrong. 

In fact, he really doesn’t consider it a possibility.

There’s no point in trying to get him to see your side until things have calmed down. It’s like talking to a brick wall.

He won’t yell, but he gets a pissy, condescending tone and almost talks down to you.

If you really push his buttons, his patience with this “useless” argument runs out.

“Oh please, listen to yourself! You’re acting like a dull child!”

Freezes as soon as it leaves his mouth.

He didn’t mean to say that.

He opens his mouth to apologize immediately, but upon seeing your hurt reaction he becomes flustered and can’t get the words out.

He’ll simply turn and leave. 

He’s absolutely furious with himself. 

Solomon is old and wise. He’s seen many things, been many places, and he knows many things.

Sometimes though, he needs a reminder that he doesn’t know everything.

Even if he still feels he was right, he knows name-calling is unacceptable.

In fact, he doesn’t miss the irony that he was the one being childish. 

His self-fury is replaced by overwhelming worry if you sleep in another room that night.

Of all the treasures he’s come across, none were as precious as you. 

He can’t stand the thought of losing you because of his thoughtlessness.

For once, he feels like an idiot.

He locks himself in his study that night and brainstorms on how to make it up to you.

He decides to approach you in the morning at RAD. He’s terrified that you think he actually meant the insult and wants to clear the air as soon as possible.

He’s afraid of you taking anything less than his highest praise to heart or for you to think that he views you as below himself. 

The thought of how he must have made you feel makes him sick to his stomach.

The more he thinks about it, the more his body demands that he act. 

While he has many virtues, patience is not high on his list. 

Assuming you returned to The House of Lamentation that night, he’ll text Asmo to explain what happened and asks if he’d let him in first thing in the morning.

Thus, when you leave to head for breakfast, be careful not to trip over your sorcerer who’s seated against the wall outside of your room.

He scrambles to his feet, his hair and clothes a mess and bags heavy under his eyes.

“MC! Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I just- *sighs* I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. Would you be willing to discuss the matter again? The right way this time.”

If you do sleep with him, he’s at least relieved that you don’t seem like you plan to leave him.

Once again, however, he wants to clear the air as soon as he can.

You’ll both be sitting in silence as you get ready for bed. He’s clearly lost in thought, his eyes focused unblinking on his feet and any movements slow and disjointed.

He's not sure how to apologize, if it's too soon, and is afraid to make things worse if it's not an appropriate time.

However, seeing you move about the room he decides to risk it so he doesn't risk losing you.

Suddenly, he stands up straight and locks eyes with you.

“MC, we don’t have to talk about the fight tonight, but I need you to know that I didn’t mean what I said. I’m sorry.”

It’s up to you if you want to forgive him immediately, but he will at least apologize for the insult as soon as he gathers his thoughts.

Simeon:

If you yell at him, Simeon is just gonna sit there stunned

Your relationship is usually as laid back as he is, so he doesn't know what to do with you blowing up at him.

All he knows it that this is bad and he needs to find a way to make you happy again. 

The thought of losing you takes precedence over everything and, though he will not sway to your side just because you’re upset, the argument loses any worth it had to him.

He’ll go to Solomon almost immediately in hopes your fellow human might know better about how arguments are resolved between human couples.

He becomes very distressed when Solomon says everyone handles it differently. He then asks what he should to make up with you specifically.

He doesn't have a defined emotion right now, he's just on edge. He wants to gather information first and foremost so he can figure out what to do from there.

He’s just a walking ball of anxiety and those close to the angel even become concerned. No one has seen him like this before.

If you decide to sleep in another room, the anxiety just takes over. 

His chest feels like fiery chains are crushing his ribs, he can hear his heart is hammering in his head, and his body begins to shake as if he were buried in an avalanche.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying as he struggles to breathe.

Solomon had expected something like this may happen so he made sure to be nearby to help coach him though it.

Once he’s calmed down, Solomon urges him to talk to you as soon as possible.

Simeon isn't sure though. True, he wasn't in a good place, but he didn't want to push you if you weren't ready to talk.

He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t feel like he can think let alone coherently tell you how he feels.

He begins to feel overwhelmed again and decides to try writing down his thoughts in hopes of it helping him sort through the tsunami of emotions consuming him.

While it doesn't completely calm him down, it does help.

He stares down at the messy, tear blotted papee and has an idea.

The next morning you should expect to find a hand-written letter slipped under you door.

The letter is long and and rambling. His usually pristine handwriting is as shaky as his hands were when writing it.

It's not as dense and heartbroken as his original one, but the further it goes the more desperate his words become.

He writes about how much you mean to him and apologizes for allowing things to get that intense. He writes that he loves you and doesn’t want to lose you. 

He reminisces about his favorite memories of you two together more than once.

Finally, that no disagreement you two could ever have is more importantly to him than being with you.

It's really just a collection of everything sitting on his heart at the moment.

That day at RAD he’ll watch you from the sidelines and pray you approach him about the letter so you two can work things out.

If you still sleep in his bed, he’ll be very conflicted about if he should approach you yet. 

He’s afraid of making it worse if you’re still mad.

However, Simeon is an open book when it comes to his emotions so you will absolutely be able to tell that he’s freaking out.

So please, save the man a terrible night and talk it though with him.

He wants you to not be angry anymore, but even if you’re still upset just having concrete information to cling to will help him immensely. 

He’s thinking of all the worst case scenarios and needs reassurance that the relationship isn’t over.

Simeon will try to make up within a day, so however long it lasts after that is up to you.

Luke (MC is his best friend):

Luke will be very, very distressed. 

You’re his best friend aside from Simeon. Friends don’t fight like this, right?

Wait, so if you’re fighting with him, does that mean you’re not his friend anymore???

As soon as the thought enters his mind, he decides that must be the case. 

Real friends don’t fight with each other like this.

Externally he takes a “I don’t need a lousy human like you for a friend anyway” attitude. 

He’s not just testy with you though, anyone who interacts with him that day learns that chihuahuas bite.

Simeon immediately realizes something isn’t right and is very concerned.

As soon as he asks him what’s wrong, Luke's mask of anger is discarded and he tosses himself in the older angel’s arms crying hysterically.

He doesn’t want to lose you for a friend.

I doubt Luke has ever truly argued with someone so this uncharted territory is earth shattering to him.

Simeon, as he tries to calm Luke, he will text you and ask you to come to wherever they are immediately.

Because of Simeon’s intervention, the fight will only go undiscussed for a few hours max.

Again, sorry if I don’t know these characters as well as I’d like yet. Thank you for reading! 

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