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#not the song I’m listening to saying ‘if loving is wrong I don’t wanna be right’ when I saw this 😭
shebecreepin · 1 month
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WE HAVE A CODE RED PEOPLE 🔥🔥🔥🐯🔥🔥🔥
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dumplingsjinson · 6 months
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List of random dialogue prompts (pt. 3)
“Truth be told? I miss the times — the me — before I fell in love with you.” 
“You know, I can see myself in, on top of, or under you. What do you say?” “I can see you buried six feet under my very feet if you don’t stop joking about this shit with me.” 
“Was there a point when you fell out of love with me?” “There was a point when I fell in love with you, but never out.”
“When did you fall out of love with me?” “That’s the thing: I never fell out of love with you. You’re the one who fell out of love with me.”
“Right person, wrong time… What if this is the right time? We’re just the wrong people for each other.”
“You have me wrapped around your fingers. Crazy part is, I don’t mind it.” 
“Don’t forget this: I made you. I can easily break you if I wanted to.” 
“I shared pieces of me, with so many people, and none of them kept those pieces safe, and I don’t know if I can risk that with you because it would devastate me if you turn out to be the same as them all. I would be completely destroyed.” 
“Don’t give me that look.”
“You okay?” “No. I need hugs. From you. I need you to hug me.” 
“I just wanna fucking get over you so I can be okay again.” 
“Stop trying to remind me that you’re still in my life. I’m trying to not think about you, for God’s sake.”
“I wanna kiss you so badly right now but we’re in public and I know you hate public display of affection—“ “I’ll allow you to do it this time.” “Wait… Really?” 
“I make shitty decisions and you’re a testament to that matter.”
“I have things to do, and most of them include me trying not to think about you.”
“I’ve never cried because of someone, you know? I didn’t have anyone to cry over. You’re the first, and you’ll also be the last, or so God help me through this embarrassment.” 
“Breaking up with me does not mean you had to kick me off your Spotify playlist, you know? Because damn. As much as I’m upset, your list had some bangers.” 
“You don’t get to do decide my feelings for you.” 
“I’m not bitchless, you fucking dickhead. Take that back!” 
“Every little thing reminds me of you, which sucks because you’re not in my life anymore.”
“It’s kinda weird not seeing your name on my phone when I wake up. It’s gonna take me some time to get used to this.”
“I think I knew this wasn’t going to last when I realised it’s not that I trust you. It’s that I don’t care what you do, and who you might be fucking around with.”
“One text from you has me happier than a child whose mother bought them their favourite candy. It’s not okay.” 
“I don’t share my Spotify playlist with just anyone. It’s like a secret love language of mine, reserved for those I want to let in. You’re one of them, yet you’re here thinking I don’t feel the same way about you?”
“I dunno, I just… Kinda fell for you.”
“You’re the reason why I fell in love with you. You, as a whole.” 
“There are some songs that I can’t listen to anymore, because they remind me of you; of all the times we’ve had together. And it sucks because some of them are great songs. And you fucking ruined them, you asshole.”
“I’m tired of acting like I don’t care, because I do. I fucking do, and that’s what makes this even worse.” 
“One thing you should know about me is that I suck at letting go.”
“So you’re telling me I’m supposed to sit here and give a fuck? You couldn’t pay me enough to do that. I have places to be and things to do.” 
“You need to stop being such a dramatic bitch.” “It’s the only way I can entertain myself, okay? Now piss off and leave me be.” 
“Maybe I shouldn’t have let you go.”
“You deserve someone better than me—” “You don’t get to decide that for me.”
“You ever think about how good we could have been together?” “Yeah. I think about it all the time, and then I remember how badly you fumbled. So yeah, good job.”
“You’re blushing.” “I’m not.” “…Then I guess I’ll have to give you something to blush over.”
“I lost myself while trying to find the good in you.”
“I think it’s comforting that they’re somewhere out there… Even if we never speak again, you know? They were a part of my life, even if it was only for a little while. They made me feel good, even if it was only for a short amount of time.” 
“Remember when you said you’d catch me when I fell? Well, you’re a fucking liar. Figuratively and literally. Now I’m hospitalised and also emotionally scarred. I hope you’re fucking happy about that.” 
“If we break up, I’d look for you in other people and be reminded that they are not you, and that I’d never find someone like you again. And… I don’t think I can bear the thought of that.”
“I give you permission to break my heart.” “And I give you permission to end me if I ever do break your heart.” 
“I have things to do—“ “And I’m one of them.”
“You’re only saying sorry because you want to make yourself feel better, so you can go shove that sweet apology up your ass because it doesn’t mean shit. I hope you continue to feel like shit over what you did, because I’m never forgiving you.”
“I had expectations for someone I knew couldn’t meet those expectations, so that’s my fault for expecting anything from you at all.”
“You? Breaking my heart? It’s funny how you think you even have that power over me.”
“You were like a routine that I loved and it felt… comfortable. But I guess that’s not the case anymore.” 
“You fell in love with the idea of someone that wasn’t even real. You fell in love with your own projections. How are you so foolish to think that it would have worked out?”
“I’m fine. Of course I’m fine.�� “Everything about this interaction is telling me you’re not fine — not even close.”
“The idea of us was perfect. Blame me for thinking it would turn out into something good and as fantastical as what I made it out to be in my head.”
“Because no matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s about to drive me to the very brink of insanity, so if you’ll excuse me for not wanting to be near you, that would great.”
“I would not be who I am today if not for you.” 
(pt 1.) | (pt. 2)
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greatooglymooglyyy · 2 months
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My Tears Ricochet (Matthew Sturniolo)
contains: verbal argument, cheating allegations, crying, breakup, no happy ending, 1.5k words
a/n: honestly i'm sorry for this one. ouch. i said it alr but im not doing a part 2 for this one b/c i don't wanna lmao, the song is how writing this made me feel lol, requested by @nicksmainbitch and i took parts of an anon request
“We need to talk.”
I look down and study the message for maybe the hundredth time since Matt sent it an hour ago. Taking a deep steading breath, I kill my car engine and finally open the door. I’ve been sitting in his driveway for ten minutes now and it’s getting pathetic but I couldn’t help it. There’s nothing I hate more than a cryptic message, especially from Matt.
I use my key to let myself in the house, kicking off my shoes at the entrance, and pause when I notice how quiet it seems. Either Nick and Chris aren’t here or something is very wrong but my gut is leaning towards both. I pull out my phone to check their location but my heart drops when I realize all three of them aren’t showing up on Find My Friends.
Okay. It’s fine. Probably just a glitch. It has to be. I take the stairs two at a time and rush into Matt’s room, finding him with his head down at his desk.
“Matt?” I say quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder that he immediately jerks away from like I’ve burned him.
He lifts his head, spinning the chair around my way, and the look he gives me is like a stab to the heart. Because in all the years I’ve known Matt, in all the years I’ve loved him, he’s never looked at me like he’s looking at me now. Like he can see right through me. Like I’m no one at all to him.
“How long?” He asks calmly, his voice like a brewing storm. “Just tell me that. How long have I been a fucking idiot for?”
I stare back at him silently for a minute, caught between confusion and indignation. “What are you talking about?”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head before he tilts it up to the ceiling. “Listen. Tell me the truth. If you tell me the truth, I can try…” He stops and clears his throat like the words have jammed there. “I love you enough to try to get over it. But, if you lie-”
“What the fuck are you accusing me of, Matthew?” I snap, cutting him off. I feel the anger rising in my chest and blink away the hot tears that are beginning to gather. If Matt and I had one thing going for us, it was trust. We’ve never touched each other’s phones, never questioned stories. We just believed in our bond. But I can feel that trust starting to crumble around us and I don’t know what to do.
Matt grabs his phone from the desk and thrusts it into my hands. “Here. Your side piece must have gotten tired of waiting.”
I look down and skim the drama page he has pulled up, my jaw going slack. Someone has been sending in “proof” that I’ve been cheating on him. There are text messages with time stamps and they’ve even included pictures of me sleeping.
I look back at Matt and find him watching my reaction with his eyes low. “These are obviously fake-” I start but Matt stands up and walks past me to his closet.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought too. Until I saw the pictures. Go ahead and tell me that’s not your tattoo.” He’s breathing heavily now and I can tell he’s trying not to cry. “One more chance. Tell me the truth. Did you fuck him?”
“Matt. Please.” I walk over to him and spin him around to face me, feeling his body tense against my touch. “You know me better than this.”
I step closer and draw him to me, wrapping my arms around his waist, and he lets me. He buries his head in my hair and breaks down. Deep body wracking sobs. So I just hold him, not knowing what to do or say. I can’t prove I didn’t send a message and I have no idea where those pictures came from or how to show him they must be old. So I’m stuck.
When he finally calms down, he pulls away from me and walks back to the desk. He drops down and slouches, defeated. “Oh my god.” His face is contorted with pain and I’m not sure if his expression or words make me sicker. “I thought you were the one.”
I stand there helpless for a minute, tears streaming down my face before I finally speak. “I can’t make you believe me. You gotta do that on your own.”
When he says nothing, I nod, not trusting myself to speak, and gather up my belongings. Before I turn to leave, I yank his house key off my chain and place it on his desk without meeting his eyes. As soon as I put my hand on the doorknob, I want to fall to my knees and cry but I push down the feeling and swing the door open.
I wait for him to say something, anything when I leave. I wait for it all the way down the stairs. I’m still expecting it when I reach my car, and I pause and listen for him to chase after me, to fight.
But he doesn’t so I drive home, drop into my bed and cry. And when he still doesn’t the next day or the next, I force myself to get up and figure out a new normal.
********************
It’s unusually cold for Los Angeles the night he comes, two months later. When I hear his voice spill through the callbox, it takes everything I have not to let my knees buckle. I’ve spent every day of the last couple of months trying to avoid hearing it at all costs.
He speaks again, begging to be let in and I buzz him up without thinking. I run to throw on some sweatpants and then stand with my arms crossed, trying to prepare myself to see his face.
It doesn’t work. Matt walks through the door like a wrecking ball and I’m caught in his wake. He stands awkwardly near the door, shifting from foot to foot.
“What are you doing here, Matt?” My voice sounds exhausted even to me. All the work I’ve done putting myself back together and here he comes toppling me over again.
“I just…” He trails off and begins pacing. “It was your ex. That fucking loser. The picture was old and he-”
“I know.”
“-fucking edited those texts. The motherfucker hit me up trying to-” He pauses finally registering what I said. “What do you mean you know?”
“He called me a few days after we broke up trying to get back together and I finally remembered the picture,” I say, not letting myself look away like I’m dying to.
Matt freezes at this, staring at me in disbelief, before he pulls out a chair from the table and flops down. “But… why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“How did you expect me to do that? Go to Apple headquarters and ask them to unblock me? Email Laura?” I seethe.
“You could've come over. You should have! It changes everything-”
“It changed nothing for me. I already knew I didn’t fucking cheat on you.” My voice cracks slightly but I shake my head. If my mom taught me one thing, it’s to never cry over a boy to his face.
Matt says my name so softly I almost don’t hear it and I cut my eyes back to his. “What do you want me to do? I will do whatever you need to fix this.”
I huff out a humorless laugh at how much I wanted those words and how empty they sound now. “You don’t get to do this to me.”
“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll go.” He says and I believe him. I don’t think he’d even hesitate.
“I can’t.” Matt stands and advances quickly toward me but I stop him with a hand on his chest. “But, it doesn’t matter. I don’t trust you.”
He winces, clenching his jaw. "I thought you fucking cheated on me! I thought you were throwing everything away.”
“So you threw it away first.”
He raises his voice now, anger and conviction mixing in his tone. “No! I thought all of that and I was still going to stay. That’s how much I wanted you. That’s how much I love you.”
“Then that’s the difference between me and you.” I breathe out a shaky breath, stepping closer to him. “I don’t think that’s love at all.”
His breathing stutters as he moves backward, studying my face. “So that’s it?”
I force myself to shrug. “I think it’s been it. Since the day I walked out of your house crying and you let me.”
He nods again slowly, whispering a quiet "I'm sorry", before turning and heading for the exit. But before he leaves, Matt pauses looking over his shoulder. “Do you think we got this right somewhere in the multiverse?”
I smile weakly, blinking back my tears. “God, I hope so.”
He returns my smile with a sad one of his own before he opens the door and steps out of my apartment for the last time.
When the door clicks shut, I hold my breath and count to five until I’m sure he’s far enough away. Then I let go, dropping to my knees and finally letting myself fall apart.
taglist:
@sturniolho @sttzee @tillies33ssss @miloisdone1 @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @mrsmiagreer @asturniolos
@teapartyprincess4two @whicked-hazlatwhore @sukiipjs @accio326 @sturniolosmind @imfromthediningtable @rootbeerworshiper
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lnfours · 6 months
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tolerate it | l.n
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summary: if it’s all in my head, tell me now. tell me i’ve got it wrong somehow.
warnings: happy folklore/evermore season :) angst, language, fears of your partner falling out of love with you, slight anxiety and overthinking, fluffy ending bc i can’t make them stay mad at each other. kinda wanna do an evermore/folklore mini series, let me know if you guys would be interested <3
masterlist | listen
₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊
the colder weather meant the sun was starting to set earlier, and it was evident as you gazed out the window, sitting at the dining room table. the candle you had lit an hour or so ago flickering softly, illuminating the room with a soft glow as the gloomy sky hovered above.
you sighed to yourself, taking another sip from the wine glass that sat next to your plate. you tapped on your phone screen, lighting up and displaying the time and the picture you had set as your lock screen. the 5:30 hovering tauntingly above the picture of you and lando from a few months back, your smile wide and trying to hide it in his shoulder as he held his camera to the mirror. he was sporting a smile also, you could almost hear your shared giggles through the photo.
he was supposed to be home an hour ago, and nights like this were happening more often. he’d always be an hour to an hour and a half late getting home. it was always an apology, saying ‘training ran late’ or the quadrant shoot ‘ran on longer than it was supposed to’, you’d see him for fifteen minutes while the two of you ate dinner, and then he’d go off to the office until he decides to join you in bed later in the night.
at first, you didn’t complain, knowing he was a man with a busy schedule, but after almost two months of this same song and dance, your anxiety was getting the best of you.
what if he was out with someone else? what if he was slowly losing interest in you? what if he just tolerates you?
the sound of the door closing pulled you from your thoughts, snapping your head up as you heard footsteps enter the room. he placed his keys, wallet and phone on the counter, frowning softly.
“sorry i’m late,” here we go again, “i told max i needed to be home by 4 and he insisted we played another round before i left.”
you nodded, taking another sip from the glass on your right, “‘s fine.”
he watched you swallow thickly, tilting your head to look back out the window. he noticed the way your hand tapped against your arm softly, his eyes moving to the plates set on the table. your grandmother’s china.
his heart dropped when he thought back to your conversation the other night, him saying the two of you would have a proper sit down meal tonight since he felt bad for running late lately.
and he just fucked it all up even more.
“you don’t have to lie,” he said, making you advert your attention back to him, “i know you know it’s not fine.”
you shook your head, “what’s it matter to you, anyway?”
he knew he deserved the digs and jabs you were sending his way, “seriously, lando, if you’re not interested in me anymore just say it instead of making me play this stupid game.”
the silence that fell between the two of you after was the final blow. he watched your cheeks glisten in the soft candle light, and fuck, he hated seeing you cry. especially when it was because of him.
he didn’t know what to say as your chair scraped the floor, getting up from your spot at the table and picking up your plate. the food untouched as you grabbed the saran wrap from the pantry.
he heard your quiet sniffle, “i’m so sorry, y/n-“
“then where have you been the past two months?” he blinked back at you before you continued, “every single day it’s the same, overused excuse. so, what is it really, lando? enlighten me.”
he swallowed because he didn’t have answer that didn’t sound like he was making an excuse. he really had been busy with work, but he knew he could’ve done better with planning to make more time for you and him.
you knew he loved you with every fiber of his being, but you were upset. you were angry and sad and all you wanted was for him to come home and spend time together like the two of you used to do. but it was like it was too much to ask for.
of course you knew what you were signing up for when he took you on your very first date, but you didn’t know it would mean being put on the back burner, begging to be let in on the things going on his life.
his silence made you nod, “right,”
he reached out to you slowly, not sure how you would react. you bit down on your bottom lip, the dam breaking now as he stepped towards you.
“y/n,” he said your name softly, understanding that your lash-outs were because of men who had hurt you in the past, knowing too well what it felt like when anxiety and over thinking takes over. he couldn’t be mad at you, he just wanted to make things right. make you feel reminded that he loved you. more than racing, more than his friends, more than anything in the whole world.
the back of your hands were raised to your eyes when he grabbed them and pulled you closer to him, letting your body rest against his chest. you gave in, knowing that at the end of the day, he was your safe place. your shoulder to cry on, the one who always saw you in your most vulnerable stages. there was no getting past him with this one.
your hands wrapped around his middle loosely as you cried softly into his chest. he rested his head against yours, rubbing your back the same way he always did whenever he’d comfort you. his lips pressed against your hair before he grabbed your face gently, lifting your chin to have you look at him.
he wiped the tears from your cheeks, eyes searching yours and that’s when you realized he had been crying too, “i’m gonna talk to my trainer and the guys and tell them i need a little bit of a break, and you and i are gonna spend every single day together doing whatever you want.”
you felt selfish now, “but this is your job, lan,”
“i don’t care,” he said, shaking his head as he moved his hand to hold your cheek, “they’ll be fine if i take a few days off.”
your hand came up to mimic his on your cheek, your fingers brushing against the small moles on his face. the same ones your lips press against whenever you kiss his face. the pads of your thumbs brushed away the small tear lingering around his nose.
“i’m sorry,” you apologized, feeling guilty for being cold to the boy who loved you like no other.
“don’t apologize,” he said, “i should’ve done better. you don’t deserve to feel like you’re on the back burner of my life.”
you wrapped your arms around his neck as his snaked around your waist, pulling you closer as if it was even possible. you looked back out the window, the light from the golden hour sun shining on the trees in the backyard. he pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, “i love you.”
you smiled softly, pulling back to meet his gaze. your smile making his lips turn up into one mirroring yours, “i love you, too.”
he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips, a mixture of the wine you had with dinner and the salty tears you had cried a few moments prior with the subtle hint of your chapstick.
you both pulled away, him taking you by surprise when he lifted you off the ground. you squealed, a soft giggle escaping your lips as you clung onto his hoodie for dear life.
“lando!” you laughed, letting him carry you to the couch and thanking yourself for putting his dinner plate in the fridge earlier.
you had your boy back.
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emsgoodthinkin · 7 months
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~ never did this before | virgin!Eddie Munson x virgin! Thick!Fem Reader \\ modern au
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This story is based off the song Wet Dreamz by Jcole **recommend listening to it first to understand the story// can be perceived/read regardless if you are a poc; as I am mixed ♡ [descriptions of reader having tan skin and brown eyes; so it meets in the middle if you are a poc or not]
• Summary: after weeks of flirting and crushing on each other, you finally pop a serious question into your bestfriend Eddie’s head, and he has a hard time providing you with an honest answer // this is more like a rom com
• Warnings: MDNI; smut (not too explicitly) fluff, both kinda experienced? soft Eddie, cocky Eddie, sassy reader, brief mentions of smoking and drinking, he’s a little bit of a perv, masturbation, 69, protected piv, premature ejaculation, heavy petting, grinding, confessions, slight insecure thoughts? (both are 18+) word count :3.4k //sry 4 errors
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Eddie’s Pov
Calculus. The last class of the day. My favorite class overall.
There she sat, giggling on her phone, showing me silly photos she took of her dog Skittle, the sun shining just right on her honey toned tanned skin, hair laying just as perfect as ever in that simple, claw clip. Curls and wavy bangs sectioned to shape her face, brown eyes that matched mine and oh those glossy lips..
I wanna kiss you so fucking bad baby.
Her outfit of the day, that new pink and black checkered shirt she got at the mall that I drove her to.
It’s so tight on you sweetheart, your tits look beautiful today.
White Reeboks as I have, but very much cleaner…
Those 100% perfectly stretchy, acid wash jeans you wear every week that fit your ass so fucking bad.. fuck don’t bend over.. don’t—
“Eddie? what’s wrong with you?”
Fuck— didn’t realize the moan that I slipped out when she dropped her phone, she cracked it..but all I could focus on were the back of her thighs when she bent over
“Sorry uh- I think I’m just sore from carrying those amps last night”, he says now rubbing his not sore bicep with a pout
Lie.
“Oh babe I’m sorry, come by later and I can rub it out for you” she replies
Why the fuck would you say that to me right now—
“Oh yeah? You’d just love to get your hands on me always huh sweetheart? ” leaning back in my seat, with a cocky smile
You blush and shove my arm playfully “you’re so stupid, you know what I meant”
——
She’s been like this for the past month, after Harringtons party. Smoking and drinking under that patio umbrella, away from everyone else. Laughing, holding on to each other for dear life. I tell her jokes, she ugly laughs. I love her laugh, it’s not fake it’s genuine like her.
We met at the drink table, both preferring whiskey over the red shit they put out.
We talked about our intrests, I was very suprised and impressed with how she carried herself. How she talked about herself. How she sat comfortably on my lap; as if we knew each other for forever.
Obviously her thick hips in that royal blue, tacky dress she wore caught my attention first
It takes a certain kinda person to make me laugh but she.. she was probably the most funniest and beautiful fucking girl I’ve never seen. A few beauty marks as she would call it, scattered down her neck and arms. Eyelashes so dark she could always pass on the mascara, the sweet charm and sass she had to her.. she was something different.
She was fresh to town and it was relief to meet someone new. Similar childhood experiences, divorced parents but her dad stopped reaching out to them. Her mom was just a bitch to her. Very narcissistic person but, she had her kind moments. She definitely wasn’t the worse mother I’ve ever heard of.
All of that lead to a heavy make out session in the bathroom.
Sitting at the edge of the toilet, her scratching the back of my head with those sharp coffin shaped nails, me squeezing the fat of her ass on my lap. Hell, I was surprised how into this she was.. considering I’ve only kissed two girls in my life.
Sure I’ve watched my fair share of porn, visited sex stores, took a few notes; even got a handy under the bleachers last year from Carol. She forgot to pay for the weed I gave her, she offered, why not.
“Oh yeah, what’s your name again?” I ask kissing down her neck
“Y/N, but you can call me anything you want right now” she whimpers at the feeling of me nipping her throat
-“fuck you’re a r-really good kisser”
“-could say the same about you sweetheart” feeling the roll of her heat over my already strained dick.
I wonder how many guys she’s done this with
“Sorry, I don’t usually do this but, there’s just something so sexy about you”—
Biggest fucking ego boot ever.
“Fuck baby, if you keep talkin to me like that I’m gonna bust”
“Awe, am I making you feel some typa way Eddie?” She smirks looking down at me
“You know you are”
Unfortunately that ended quicker than it started, Robin got too hungover and needed our space.
She told me her classes and we exchanged numbers.
After that we talked everyday on FaceTime after getting home from school. I show her a new guitar riff and she shows me the new necklaces or shirts she ordered.
Sometimes she’d forget she was on camera and changed out of her bra a few times.
Hey, couldn’t help but to look come on, I am just a man
I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve fucked myself to that imagine every morning.. and evening and night..
Slept on the phone together, hung out at lunch together.
I only ever seen her at lunch other than at the end of the day in Mrs. Wilson’s calculus class. Bringing us back to now
——
“Mr. Munson are you done chatting now?” Wilson knocks me out of my trance
“Sorry bout that, yes ma’am” giving her a thumbs up sitting back up straight as she rolls her eyes subtly.
You slide me note. Folded up, in blue highlighted letters
You ever have sex before? Circle Yes or No ♡
fuck—we never even discuss stuff like that! how haven’t we? Don’t embarrass yourself man
Course I have, why? what’s got you so curious? ;)
I watch her look away quickly, gulping when she covers the paper to respond back
Well.. you’re cute and shit & was wondering if you wanna come over friday..? My parents have been gone all week and..we can hang or do whatever.. ♡
Did she wanna fuck? I hope so —wait you’re a virgin idiot, wait is she? probably not
I’m already there babe ;)
I reply with an easy smile, hiding the fact I’m in a state of panic
Good.. and uh bring those handcuffs on your wall too.. ♡
No way she’s a virgin talking like that
She rushes outta the classroom at the bell, turning back with a wink
Holy shit I gotta talk to Harrington.
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“-and that’s what I’m saying dude, just sweet talk her, treat her like a princess, rub her in all the right places”—
“Okay but what ARE those places? I know her like tits and shit.. and well under her panties but what does it feel like? Ya know putting in it? What if I cum too fast and she laughs or runs away and never talks to me again..”—
I’ve been pacing back in forth in Family Video, loud where all the customers could hear. Definitely loud enough for Robin to upchuck her lunch
“No Eddie- just, come back here— Rob? watch the front please?” Steve grabs me by the shoulder making a bee line to the stock room
Sitting on the empty table still trying to gather my thoughts of Steve’s advice. “Well?” I rush out
“Damn man let me sit down first” he scoffs pulling a chair over to me
“Alright, you wanna know what inside a vagina feels like right?”
“Jesus, can you just say pussy or some shit”
“Same thing” he glared
“Okay well it’s not really sexy to just say vagina-
-“god Eddie, do you wanna know or not?” I can tell I’m testing his patience, I shut my lips, nodding eagerly
“Okay, so It’s like this- well like wet and really, really warm, almost like hot bath around your dick or a tight hug”—
“Wow, a hot bath thanks for the analogy Steve, I’ll make sure to take one when I get home”
He deadpans at me. “You asked me and I’m telling you, it’s hard to really explain other than a tight, wet warm hug. Oh!” he snaps his finger”-and sometimes it’ll tighten around your cock when she’s about to cum and holy shit dude— you better hold your load because the first time I had sex, it lasted about 10 seconds” My eyes widen
“WHAT!?” I shout before him shushing me “King Steve was a minute man?”— I joke
“Hey I said at first, when you get used to having sex your stamina gets better and for me personally”— he leans in “I can last approximately 45 minutes and 27 seconds” he sits back proudly
Cocky bastard.
Shit.
How long will I last? Will jerking off more boost my stamina?
——
Since that afternoon I did as much research as a I could, making a DIY sponge fleshlight.
That was a fail, got carpet burn.
Even bought condoms from the corner store, didnt know what size i was so, i grabbed all 4 boxes
Practicing my stroke game, using my pillow as a hole.
Down. Glide. Up. Down. Guide up.
Ow, fuck, cramp, cramp
This shits hard. My back hurts.
Throwing away the 8th used condom of the day, tossing myself in my desk chair, forehead sweaty, wrists throbbing; hearing my phone go off
FaceTime from Crush🖤
“Ah, fuck”— grabbing a shirt, wiping off the excess sweat off my skin, putting my pants back on, setting the phone up on my night stand, grabbing the guitar quickly setting it on my lap— “Hey! Sweetheart, what’s up, what are you up to?”
“I could ask you the same thing why is your face so red?” She asks giggling, laying on her tummy, tits spilling out , kicking her socked feet from behind
“Just took a hot shower is all”
“But your hairs not wet?” you give me a suspicious look, “Oh yeah, I just tied it up..sooo still want me over tomorrow?”
“Hell yeah! I picked up cookie dough the edible kind because I know you like that anddddd”- she reaches over her phone to grab something—“I rented whole stab franchise for a throwback”- showing me her laptop screen
“Well, that sounds like a party to me”
“You got that right..” She replies, biting her lip as if I didn’t notice,- “Anywaysss, just calling to remind you, see you tomorrow im tired, goodnight dummy *mwah*
She always ends our calls with a kiss on screen
Fuck I’m hard again
“Can’t wait sweetheart, sweet dreams” ending the call, looking down at my bulge
Welp, gotta jerk off again
Tumblr media
Friday. THE day I might lose my virginity to the sexiest girl in school. My best friend.
I wake up earlier than usual, do my morning ritual, a joint. My nerves making me shower twice.
Should I shave?
Would she care?
A little trim wouldn’t hurt
May or may have not nicked my balls. Not too bad, maybe she won’t notice. Finding my nicest pair of jet black jeans I own, I only wear ‘em for special occasions and a wife beater? Nah that’s too much right? A flannel would help. Yeah. Definitely.
Hey I look kinda good, checking myself out in the mirror
Alright, wallet, keys, condoms, I glance over at the cuffs on the wall. Can’t forget those, stuffing them in my back pocket
My palms are sweaty, fuck even my ass is sweating.. 3 cigarettes already in, on my way to her house; of course I have a bad fucking hair day today, so I just opted for a low bun.
Before I could even knock, you open the door my jaw already on the floor
“Hi dummy!” You jump giving me a hug, pulling me inside.
What the hell is she wearing
A transparent green knitted, cropped sweater
is that her nipple I see? Those goddamn Nike shorts are doing her a favor—“Someone’s excited to see me?” Kicking off my shoes
“I’m always excited to see you.. also nice hair”
and neck goddamn, what is hell is he wearing you think, already feeling horny from the sight of my neck being so exposed
those jeans are doing his fine ass a favor
fuck I’m wet already
“Come on, already got it all set up for us”
“Lead the way princess” following behind you
I need to bite those fuckin legs.
——
We always sit like this on movie nights. Me against your headboard, back against my chest. I don’t remember how it started but I love it.
“Didn’t David Arquette also play in Spree?”
I squint back at the tv, “Uh yeah yeah he did, he was Kurt’s dad I think”
She replies with a mouthful “omyeah”
My hands have been holding both sides of her hips the whole time, occasionally rubbing them with my thumbs; every time I do it your breath picks up
Something else is about to be up—
“Huh?”
“Did you even hear me? You’ve been zoning out a lot recently”, you say sitting crisscross
“Something on your mind Ed’s?”
Gulp
“No no just— “ sigh
“Yeah, you. You’ve been on my mind.”
She smiles looking down, cocking her head to the side
“Oh yeah? Been thinking about me have you?” She grins
“You have no idea. ”
My breath hitches when you straddle me
Fuck me
“Wanna tell me these thoughts you’ve been having?” she asks twirling a piece of my bang
Remember what Steve said, sweet talk her
“Why don’t I just show you pretty girl”
Her smirk instantly falls, cheeks crimson “shit.. okay”
Running my hand up your thighs firmly, wrapping my arm around your lower back, my free hand pulling your face closer into my lips. “Like that baby?”
Who the fuck are you she thinks
“Fuck, yeah kiss me again”, I stare blankly until my eyes turn to pure lust, pushing her down to her back climbing on top to ease my tongue back into her mouth, my hips grinding into yours, hearing you whimper…
You’d think that’d make me harder but it’s when you grind back into me that did it
“You’re so beautiful you know that baby?.. fuck been missing these lips for weeks..”
“Shit, me too, been needing you so close to my body recently it’s been killin me,” she whines, rubbing her hands down my chest
—“that’s why I asked you to come over, could tell you were feeling me too”
You’re right about that, I mumble sucking your neck,
I’ve practiced giving myself hickies on my arms freshmen year.
Eddie, score
“That tank top Eddie.. t-take off the flannel let me see you? Please?” You ask giving me doe eyes. I sit up eagerly throwing it about, she sits up on her elbows, throwing off her sweater
The goddamn groan I let out
Jesus Christ
You lie back down bashfully covering yourself
A whore being shy huh?
“Whattt? She asks feeling self conscious,
“You’re..fuck.. just let me get a closer look please?” I plead, you nod shyly
Squeezing your breasts hard in my palm, licking my lips, nipping them, kissing them, hearing you gasp “holy shit -
“What??”
I do it again, in combination with my tongue, She doesn’t stop me she moans, making me feel bolder, “ Lemme take these off?” My thumbs already ready to yank your shorts down
You don’t answer
“Hey, it’s just me you know you’re beautiful to me, right?”
“Yes..you can take em off” she whispers
Thinking it’d be hot to yank them down quick like those sex movies
I try it..
“Ow! Fuck what the hell?” She jerks
I didn’t know she had the goddamn drawstring tied. , “Ow..you pout rubbing your hip, “Shit I’m sorry! I’m sorry”
I’m already fucking up, “It’s okay.. it’s just tied” she says undoing them pulling them off herself, holding her hands in her lap
I lean down to kiss both hips as an apology, looking up at you slowly undoing your hands
Cute little hair she has
“Can I um..”
She looks down at me gaining back her confidence, “You wanna eat me don’t you?” My eyes widen, gripping her side, “Yesss.. really bad” but I don’t know how to —
“Can I see you too?” again with that lip bite
“Of course” okay.. here goes nothing whispering to myself , yanking my jeans and all down in one swift motion, staring at the spot on the ceiling
You scoff with the sour look, “Oh my god”
WHAT WHAT WHAT
“You’re packing Eddie”
“Oh..thank fuck, really? I wouldn’t say that but..” I sit back in front of her
“Can I touch it?” You ask still staring at my cock
-..But I wanna taste you.. what if we..you lay on me but backwards..? Like 69?” I recommend
She nods eagerly, nervously but very excited, “Okay.. just don’t look at my asshole.. there’s a spot on it that looks like I didn’t wipe but it’s not what you think! It’s a freckle..”, I chuckle, rubbing your cheek nodding
Laying down flat, you swing your legs over my face
Oh god fuck, “Such a pretty pussy” i mumble
Suck a pretty cock you think
You’re both horny as fuck, both licking on each other immediately —“Jesus fuck!” I shout, hearing and feeling you choke on my dick
“Y/n, y-you done this before?”
“Yeah—“
Damnit.
-“But it was with a guy at my old school, said I was the best head he ever had” , you say rubbing my balls
Hot.
Okay Eddie do what feels right
so that’s the clit? how cute
Bringing my lips around your nub, licking you, tasting you, “Oh god why do you taste so good, you smell so..sweet?”
“Was that a question?” You ask popping my dick outta your mouth
“No, no just the sweetest pussy I’ve never tasted”-
the only pussy I’ve ever tasted
I’ve never smelt anything like this, I think I’m addicted
Flicking my tongue a few time feeling you react in a high pitched moan, sucking and massaging it lightly, my eyes flutter spotting your ass hole winking at me
“Holy shit” she’s pretty everywhere
“What?”
“You have such a pretty ass” blurting out
“Eddie! I told you not to look!” She whines trying to climb off, “Shut up I do what I want”saying firmly, pulling you back down by your thighs; sticking my pointer finger in your cunt,
so that’s the squeeze Steve was talking about
“Ohmyg— fuckk yes please” she vibrates around me, a guttural moan purging from my throat, curling my finger like they said —
“Oh! Fuck yes keep doing that Eddie baby please”—
“I am, I am baby you just suck my dick”—
Holy shit who am I—
“-Eddie I think I’m gonna cum yep, I’m gonna cum..”—
“Wait really?”
“Yes!”
“Really?” Asking again “YES EDDIE SHUT UP AND KEEP GOING, FUCK”—
Thrusting faster, licking faster I feel your wetness roll down and down into my mouth instantly making me cum in yours
“Fuck baby like that, fuck did you..just swallow?—“ I ask but you proceed to keep sucking-“OKAY OKAY, stop, s-shit!”
Pleading trying to stop you from overstimulating me further, “Shit.. sweetheart, that dude was right, that was the best head I’ve ever got”
The only head I’ve ever got
She lays back down beside me with a large grin,” Was that your first time getting head? You came so fast for me”
Lie.
Not replying I get up, finding the condom in my Jean pocket, “What’re ya doing?” You ask with a questioned expression, “Condom?” I hold up “Oh, oh yeah yeah right duh”—
Fuck I forgot with which way it goes on— got it
Turning back to you, cock still hard, nudging your core
You give me a small smile, watching me hesitantly about to slip my tip in
“Wait! Wait!”-
“What? Sorry, I didn’t ask”—
“Eddie I need to tell you something..”
“Yeah?”
“I can tell you definitely know what you’re doing but I just.. be gentle because I’ve never done this before..”
never done this before, never done this before
I stare like a deer in headlights, the weight off my shoulders lifted. I laugh sarcastically to myself , “That’s, well.. I should probably tell you I’ve never done it either.. like ima”—
“Virgin too?”
“Yeah, surprise?” feeling embarrassed, “How did I not know that? We tell each other everything” shrugging, “Not sure, but I’m glad you told me before I stuck ya”
“Ew don’t say stuck me weirdo”
“Look, I don’t know what I’m doing at all, I had to ask Steve for advice.. I figured you would know more I mean since you wanted my handcuffs”-, you bite your lip, head shaking
“I said that because, I figured you’d know how to use em”
“There actually just for decoration sweetheart, looked kinda metal”, we laugh in awe with each other , “But here we are..” I say biting the skin on my lip—
“Yeah here we are” you look back up at me, hopeful, “Do you wanna stop?”
“No..do you wanna stop?”
“Nah, been hoping you’d be my first actually”, you blush at my statement pulling me down for a deep kiss , “Let’s do it..”
“..but what if I cum too fast? that would be humiliating”—
- “I understand how it works.. don’t feel bad if you do, I promise I won’t laugh Ed’s” she squeezes my hand lovingly
My heart is erect
I nod, looking over all of you again, spreading your thighs a little wider, “I’ll go slow”
Furrowing my brows in consentration, slipping my tip in, surprisingly not easy mother fuck—
“Holy fuck you’re so-
“Tight? I know I have a hard time fingering my self as is”
“Why would you tell me that at this very second,” I try not to laugh, holding my shit together, “that’s so hot by the way,” bottoming you out, we gasp in sync
“Oh god”-
“What?”
“Holy god”—
“What!?? You alright?” She asks , “I’m about to cum already”—
“I told you, it’s okay”
“I know but that’s so embarrassing”
You clench around me on purpose, suddenly your eyes widen, feeling a warmth from inside, while also hearing me grunt almost in pain above you
Silence.
“Im so sorry fuck,” pulling out, shocked at how full my condom is, “Did you cum?”, she scrunches her nose, “No silly”
“But you squeezed me?”
“Yeah but, I didn’t have an orgasm”
Fucking Steve
-“But Steve said when a girl cums she clenchs around us” explaining further—
“First off, I’m gonna need you to not take advice from Steve and second, I mean according to my girlfriends we do.. it’s like a few squeezes but apparently we really squeeze for a long time when we do cum? Maybe even shake? I’m not sure but I think I’d know when I felt it”
Well shit
He looks like a sad puppy this won’t do you think
“But hey, we can try again right? Don’t be embarrassed if anything it’s kinda hot”
“Really?”
“I mean yeah, I made you cum in under like 1 second, biggest ego boot ever” you lighten the mood, nudging my shoulder smiling at me, pulling me for another kiss, “Don’t ever tell anyone that” holding my forehead to yours
You smirk, holding your pinky up “I promise”, Interlocking mine, noticing your body shifted closer, staring at your lips, “Let me try again Sweetheart” your eyes also on mine, nodding, crawling back to you, chasing your touch, taking each others breath—
Was that a car door??
“Is someone here?”
“Honey we’re home!”
FUCK, not now!!
(again recommend you listen to Wet dreamz by Jcole; it’s a bop)
reblogs appreciated // this was fun. let me know your thoughts? I do realize the smut was kinda rushed? Should there be a part 2? Suggestions? Comments? Feel like I should have kept going for them to restart again but I dunno🤷🏽‍♀️
831 notes · View notes
webslingingslasher · 9 months
Note
taylor swift song request lesgooo!!! end game from reputation where y/n has a really big reputation as a 'bad girl' and peter (good boy loml) ends up tutoring her, and sees she isn't all bad...
first off, i am so sorry this took so long, you may not even be on my page anymore, but this struck something in me & i couldn't stop.
second, i switched up the request a little because if you listen to the song, (in a non snooty way lmao) taylor is the one expressing she wants to be with this person but she has a bad repuation and everyone's heard about it, and it's a lot to commit to because of the talk surrounding her.
---------
Everyone had it wrong. 
You were good. And kind. And smart. And talented. And confused. And lost. And just like every other kid in the school. You were good. You stayed to yourself. You didn’t gossip. You didn’t judge. You didn’t tattle. You were good. 
So why did everyone hate you so much? 
It was your brother’s fault. His reputation preceded yours and it ruined everything for you. 
He was the one that picked fights. 
He was the one that pushed teachers to the limits. 
He’s the one that sold dope from his locker. 
He’s the one that hooked up with a girl in the teacher's lounge. 
And the third floor bathroom. 
And the girls locker room.
And underneath the bleachers.
He’s the one that made everyone think you were just alike. 
It ruined everything about high school so far. 
Jokes, rumors, lost friendships, people refusing to date you. 
It was childish and unfair. You wanted one person on your side, the one person you watched in class, the one person that was nice to you in a school of jekyll’s. And you couldn’t have him. 
“Hey, still coming later?” 
Peter Parker had a smile that could make the devil buckle. He was sugar, spice and everything nice. Long time crush, but the part where you’ve been smeared into a good for nothing whore, made nothing possible. 
“You sure you still wanna do this? I don’t mind asking Mrs. Stu-” 
Peter called your name like you were telling a joke, “it’s my honor to tutor you! Don’t blow me off.” 
You want to protect him. You like him too much. He hangs around you long enough and accusations with his name start flying around with yours. 
“If you’re so desperate,” grinning brightly, “I’ll see you later.” 
Peter was so kind to tutor you. Your teacher asked on your behalf, she said she thought you’d be a good pair and you couldn’t deny the extra help, too bad Peter had to be the one on the chopping block. He was being a good samaritan and you knew what it would cause for him, even with the alone time you’ve been craving, you’d keep him pushed away at all costs. 
You didn’t want the fallout to burn him, you’re used to the sting and he’s someone that shouldn’t feel anything but a loving touch. 
Even if it would kill you, you’d have to pretend to be disinterested in Peter Parker and watch him walk away. 
Oh, the things you do for love.
—------------
You’ve never felt so paranoid in your life. You swore everyone was looking at you, or maybe they were looking at Peter. Telling themselves it seemed fit that a nerd would be trying his shot with the school whore, because it’s not like you’d say no. 
“Hi, can I sit?” Peter pointed at the patch of grass next to you, your eyes squinted as you looked up at him, it was hard reading his expression. You were the shade but he was standing under the sun, everything was washed out and too bright. 
“Um, here?” you pointed at the same spot, taking a chance to look around, you felt eyes all over you. “Yeah, I mean, unless you want me here?” He pointed at a patch on the other side of you, “or here,” gesturing next to your feet, “you know what? You choose, I’m the guest.” 
He’s so nice. Gentle, even. You hadn’t experienced someone so kind, so golden hearted, in a minute. His kindness shouldn’t be his weakness or his downfall. With one last scope of the scene you assume he could stay for a moment, at least you could figure out where to meet later. 
You give Peter a smile and pat the first spot he pointed out, “you can sit,” answering his original question. His backpack hit the ground first, jimming himself closer to the tree behind you to rest his back on. Peter’s fingers picked pieces of grass, you assume in boredom. 
“So,” you both speak at the same time, a soft exhaling laugh at the symmetry. You wave Peter along, the sooner he gets it out the sooner he can leave, the quicker he is with you the less he’ll be attacked. 
“Wanna meet at the library?” 
And have everyone see? Have his reputation smeared like your own? There’s a reason you don’t have many people around you, you can’t believe he doesn’t see it.
“No,” he’s taken a bit back by your blunt tone. Peter hums low, “your place?” 
You scoff, “absolutely not.” 
There’s no other option then, “alright, my place it is. Wanna come with me after school? We could take the bus, unless you prefer the subway.” 
God, there’s nothing in the world you want more. It was too dangerous, if you got close enough it’d be too hard to rip it away. If you were seen leaving school with him, going to his house with him, it’d be over for him. You would give him the mark of cain. 
It hurts more than you’d like to admit, you take your turn at plucking small weeds, avoiding his face. He’s hard to say no to. 
“I can’t. But, I’ll come over tonight.” 
You hate how happy he sounded when he answered, it was so unfair. You were a good kid, your brother was the bad one, but you dealt with all the repercussions. Your heart felt so weighed down, you wanted nothing more to reach out and hold Peter’s hand. 
You wanted a boyfriend. 
You wanted a friend. 
You wanted love. 
You wanted to feel accepted and heard and validated and supported by one person. 
But you couldn’t have him. 
“Cool. Wanna give me your number?” It’d be better than talking in person, easier to keep him away from you unless absolutely necessary. You nod, finally looking at him when you hand over your phone, he’s got a giant smile and you have to look back down at a patch of weeds with a single dandelion poking from it. 
“Yours?” 
Peter’s fingers brush yours when he hands his over, a warm jolt spreads down your wrist and into your elbow. It makes you feel alive, it’s a welcomed feeling. You try to forget it immediately. 
His screen is cracked and scratchy as you type your number in, feeling him watch over your face you scan the crowd of people. You swear you see someone pointing, you shove his phone back in his hand, scrambling to stand. 
“I’ll text you when I’m on my way, I have to go.” 
He’s not allowed to care this much. It’s unfair. 
“You don’t want to have lunch with me? I have half a sandwich if you want it, I know we only have like, ten minutes left but if you want it, it’s yours.” 
‘If you want it, it’s yours.’
Does he mean it? Is there a limit to what could be yours? 
Too bad you’ll never know. 
“Thank you, but I can’t.” He almost looks disappointed, you have to stop making things up. 
“You sure? I don’t mind sharing with you.” 
You do. He can’t suffer the same consequences you do, it’s too isolating. Lonely. You were lonely. He doesn’t deserve it. 
“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll see you later, Peter.” 
Peter takes his time unwrapping his homemade sandwich from cellophane, he takes a bite from half and moans, outstretching his hand with the other half, still wrapped up. “Here, take it to go. My aunt made it, if you try hard enough you can taste the love.” 
He’s god damn irresistible. 
You take his gift, slowly backing away, “thanks, I’ll search for it.” 
Peter’s smile hurts your eyes, “good, it isn’t hard to find.” He’s adorable, even when he’s wrong. 
It must be his superpower. 
—-------------------
Peter’s aunt was two things. 
A lot, and very kind. 
You can see where Peter gets his aggressive pleasantry from, the moment she opened the door she was eager to please you. May wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug, her voice cheery in your ear.
“Oh my goodness, it is so nice to put a face to the name.” 
Politely patting her back you swallow thickly, she’s heard all about you and your make believe history. She’s kind but you know in the back of her mind she’s hoping you’d leave her nephew alone, get what you need from him and leave. 
“Nice meeting you too, you make a killer sandwich, by the way.” 
She gasps, pushing you away by your shoulders, moving her head to catch her eyes. An unfamiliar smile crosses her face, you don’t know what it means but it feels as welcoming and radiant as Peter’s. 
“Oh, good! He shared.” 
May said it like it was planned, like she could tell you were confused she broke your attention away. “I made cookies, because everyone knows you need sugar to help you focus.” A wink, she was so gentle, it’s something about those Parker’s. 
You play along, it’s nice to be welcomed for once. Even if it’s until you’re gone, the moment she tells Peter she knows all about you and to keep his distance. 
“I think I read a story on that once, nine out of ten dentists agree, right?” 
And just for a moment you let yourself dream, floating on your imaginary high of Peter Parker when his aunt laughs at your joke, her smile slowly dimming while she looks at your face, deep in thought. A confident head nod. 
“Peter was right about you.” 
You should take it negatively, but you don’t. There’s something about her that tells you she only means well. It must mean she hasn’t heard the bad things, but once she does, she’d be eating her words. 
But damn, if you aren’t curious about what Peter said. Was he nice, did he hint at a crush, did he make his aunt believe you were someone you’re not? 
“Peter was right about what?” 
The devil himself appeared from nowhere, his body standing next to yours, so closely you can feel hints of his cotton zip up hoodie brushing your arms. You closed your eyes to breathe slowly, the sight of him with his hands flat on the kitchen counter, leaning his weight into the laminate, his hoodie strings dangling in a tempting way. 
In a way you want to pull him closer by them, curling the fabric around your fingers and tugging him until his mouth is on yours. 
You’re easy to read, you can see it on May’s face the second you open your eyes. You know in an instant she knows that you like her nephew. Even more surprisingly, she looks excited with the knowledge. 
Her eyes flicker back to her nephew, “how lovely you said our guest was, what else did you say?” 
You can see Peter freeze, “May,” it’s a warning tone. His aunt bulldozes, “wasn’t it something about how pr-” You don’t know what she says, Peter speaks over her. “May!” Jumping in your spot, caught off guard by his sudden tone and volume change, Peter moves a hand to your arm, “sorry,” it was delicate, it was him saying he was only sorry towards you, sorry for catching you off guard. 
Fighting past his numbing touch, you smile, “it’s okay, I didn’t know you could be so stern.” 
You need to see a therapist, because you swear you shared a moment. “Only when it’s something I’m passionate about.” 
He’s talking about you, he has to be. You want him to be. 
You have no idea how you’ll keep yourself from tying to him. But you’ll give it a fighting chance. 
“You know what I’m passionate about?” Peter shakes his head, it’s hard to look away from his eyes, you never knew brown eyes could be so pretty. But you do, attention directed to fresh made chocolate chip cookies. 
“Cookies.” 
Peter won’t let you off that easy, “what kind?” 
You bounce different flavors over in your head, “you’re opening pandora's box, parker. I mean, are we talking grocery store, homemade, or bakery?” 
His arms crossed over his chest, “well, now I need to know every answer.” 
You blow out a breath like you’re about to compete in the olympics, “alright, off the shelf grocery, you can’t go wrong with double stuffed oreos. But, personally, those keebler elves, with the fudge? I love em, my mom stopped buying them cause I’d eat half the pack in one sitting, so now my dad sneaks them to me. But, I mean, you can’t go wrong with those little bakery sugar cookies, you know, the ones that stick to the roof of your mouth?” 
Peter bites back a grin, you weren’t lying, you really were passionate. 
“I know what ones you’re talking about, they’re gross.” It’s the most offensive thing he could say to you. “You’re wrong, but okay.” He laughs, “opinions can’t be wrong,” you pull your head back, “they absolutely can, yours is proof.” 
You look for support from his aunt but she’s long gone, you didn’t even see her back away. 
Peter rolls his hand, amping you on, “homemade?” 
You spit the answer quickly, “butterscotch oatmeal.” He’s never heard of them, or tasted them, but if you love them, he thinks he would too. “You’ll have to bring me some to try, they sound tempting.” Agreeing with him, “you’d never go back.” 
“Bakery?” 
“That’s the tricky one, it’s a rare find, not every place has them. But it’s my all time favorite flavor of anything ever made, s’mores.” 
Peter loves it, your favorite treat was s’mores and it fit you. 
His personal mission was tracking one down and bringing it to you. 
“S’mores? Really?” 
You nod, “really, really. If you find one you’ll have to try it, unless you have another wrong opinion and don’t like s’mores.” 
“Nah, I love s’mores.” 
Peter Parker was too good of a person to bring down. You need to shut down your admiration, because his alienation would hurt the most. 
—---------------------
This wasn’t good. No, this was bad. This was really bad. 
Peter Parker just called open season on himself and it was all your fault. 
You should’ve refused for him to be your tutor, that was the mistake. The moment it was agreed upon it was over. You should’ve never gone over to his house, if you hadn't then you would’ve never told him about your favorite cookie, and he wouldn’t have gotten you one. 
It happened in third period, he approached your seat and set a small white box in front of you. Your eyes flickered from the box to him several times before you asked, “what’s this?” A gift, you knew that much, he’s given you a gift and Jeffery Stewart was watching it go down. Peter would have an hour until he was tied to you. 
“Open it,” slowly opening the cardboard your heart skips three beats, once for each cookie. You’ve never felt so seen, dare you even say loved? He listened, that’s what it was. He listened to you and he tracked them down and presented them to you, he was proud. 
Peter Parker has made everything about your current life harder. 
“Oh my god, where did you find these?” 
He shakes his head, like it doesn’t matter where he sourced them, what matters is that he did. 
“You were right, they’re hard to track down, it took me three days. Surprisingly, they’re mostly seasonal.” 
You tsk, contemplating tearing one in half right now. “It’s so wrong, isn’t it? I mean, you can buy s’mores stuff all year long, so it doesn’t make sense.” Fuck it, it’s selfish, but he went above and beyond. 
Splitting a cookie, you hand half over, cheersing yours with his. You throw your head back and hum the second you bite down, they’re the best ones you’ve ever had. You weren’t sure if it was because they were that good, or because it felt like they were purchased with care. 
“Holy shit, Peter. These are unearthly.”
He’s in the same boat, he can understand why they’re your favorite now. 
Nodding excessively, “my world has changed for the better.” 
“Yeah, mine too.” It was a slip, you didn’t mean to say it. It came out without thinking, you said it sincerely, and he knows it. Peter finished the rest of his cookie and licked his thumb, “good, I’m glad to hear it.” 
This was bad. This was very bad. 
Because Peter Parker lays his hand on your desk and leans in, really closely, it makes you stop functioning all together. He needs to leave, he needs to back away, he needs to leave you alone. He doesn’t know what he's doing to himself, but you’re too selfish to stop it. 
Even with Jeffery Stewart staring you down like a dog in heat, a wicked grin spreads while he ropes over the many rumors he’s about to flood the halls with. 
“Wanna come over tonight?” 
Lost in a world of a million thoughts, all of them being about the distance from his lips to yours. Blinking back to attention you groan, “I don’t really feel like studying tonight, my brain is mush.” 
Peter nods, then moves in, just an inch closer, you feel like you’re about to die. 
“Not what I asked.” 
“I don’t-” 
“I asked if you wanted to come over, not if you wanted to study.” 
The room is spinning, everything is a blur. He’s flirting, Peter Parker is flirting with you in front of an audience. He’s fearless, it’s impressive. There’s no way he doesn’t know about your reputation, the things people say about you, the things you do. 
Suddenly, a chill creeps up your spine. What if he knows exactly what people say, what if that’s why he’s being sweet, what if that’s why he’s acting like he cares? Fuck it, you’ll call him out on his bullshit, but privately, you don’t need any extra attention. 
“Sure. Same time?” 
“Same time,” it’s set in stone when the bell rings, Peter knocks his knuckles on your desk before he walks away. It’s unfair how much you hate to see him pull away from you.
—------------------
The upside to being cynical is that when things don’t work out, like you plan, you’re not that hurt, because you called it the whole time. 
Just like Peter, you knew the second it circled back to him he’d be gone. It proved to be true when you heard mumbles by your locker, eyes flicking to you and back, quicker whispers shared. 
From what you’ve gathered, either Peter has seen your nipple piercings or he’s given you nipple piercings. Not that you had them, but that didn’t matter. What now mattered was that Peter was directly tied to you and your boobs were involved, that’s enough alone for him to get a clap on the back while you’re being shamed for even acknowledging your body autonomy. 
What a lame rumor, Jeffery Stewart could’ve gone to the moon with theories but this was the one he settled on? Usually he was a bit more creative, his last one ended up with you and the guidance counselor in the principal's office informing you that it was a safe space, and that if the school’s janitor came onto you it wasn’t your fault. 
It took three weeks for people to totally forget it, but those few weeks you’d hear claps and wolf whistles when you passed by the janitor's closet made you feel like you were on the constant verge of vomiting. 
Usually it wouldn’t bother you, but once they involved Peter’s name you felt sick. Everything you feared itching to life, and right when you heard a third possibility you couldn’t stay silent, slamming your locker door shut and giving wild eyes to the girl talking to her friend on your right. 
“Which one is it, Lindsey? Was he holding my hand while I got them done, did he see them, or did he do them? I don’t know about you, but if I heard three totally different versions of a story I’d question the authenticity of the claim.” 
It didn’t matter who was watching, you couldn’t hold it in.
You felt like you were on fire, you could see her sputter, like she didn’t expect you to call her out. You felt like the walls were closing in on you, she didn’t start the rumor but she was helping it spread and she was the closest person you could explode on. 
“C’mon, Lindsey. Which one? I want to hear your side, unless you think it went down a totally different way. What? Scared to talk?” 
Your throat’s closing, you can’t stop, you step closer, you shout at her. 
“Which one, Lindsey!” The hall was dead silent, for the first time you had no cares about who was looking. 
Her shoes squeak as she backs up, her eyes wide and blinking, a flash of terror, it makes you want to squeeze her and shake her, try to get her to understand this was what it felt like to be you.
“Fucking answer me!” Your voice cracked, she whimpered, fat tears falling. 
“None! I don’t believe any of them!” 
She doesn’t. You can see it written all over her face, she was just talking to talk, knowing you could hear every word she produced. It just made you feel sad. 
“You can hunt other women as much as you want, Lindsey. But the collusion doesn’t save you from the same hunt.” 
Lindsey nods, like she understands. But you know she doesn’t, you know she’ll keep being the same, until they turn on her, and then she’ll wonder why no one stands up for her and how anyone could believe the jargon they say about her. And on that day, you’d be nodding with the crowd. 
—-------------
If Peter told his aunt about today she had an excellent poker face. Because she was more than happy seeing you when she opened the door, hugging you close before she could even shut it.
“Hi, sweetheart! How are you doing?” Politely hugging back, you talk back in her ear. “Hi, Ms. Parker, I’m good, how are you?” A squeeze before you’re released, her hands warm on your shoulders. 
“Oh, please, just call me May. Did Peter give you the cookies?” 
You nod while biting back a grin, she might have a clue for how you feel about her nephew but you’re not announcing it either. “Good,” she’s got something in her that makes you feel like she’s more of a wingwoman than aunt. 
“Peter’s in his room, I won’t be back until late, are you sleeping over?” 
You feel off balance for a second. May’s leaving you and Peter alone, for several hours, and then suggests you’ll be spending the night. She really is a wingwoman. It makes you second guess everything Peter might have told her, it’s clear she can see your mental gymnastics when she pats your arm. 
“He said you guys are gonna hang out, maybe watch some movies. I just meant, will I be surprised if I come home to you two cuddled up somewhere.” 
Is she saying not to fuck in the common areas?
“Are you saying-” 
“Keep it in his room.” 
Mortified. She must assume the worst out of you, you’ve only met her twice and her thought was that the second you were alone you’d be fuck bunnies. To be fair, Peter is really attractive. She can tell how embarrassed she’d made you and she’s quick to jump over it. 
“No accusations and no shaming. I’d just rather be clear to both of you. Peter had a worse conversation, be glad.” 
You take that as her permission, and that she likes you. She has to, she just implied she’d be cool if you and Peter hooked up. Even if the world hated you, having her approval made you feel like you had someone to impress again. 
“Okay, I understand and accept the rules and boundaries of your home.” 
May laughs, hooking her purse over her shoulder she pats your arm again. “You’re a good kid, don’t forget that.” 
And that made you want to curl up and cry, you haven’t had unprompted support like that in years. It worked, because you’d never, not once, cross any boundary of her’s. In fact, after that? You’d die protecting hers. 
“Thanks, May. See you later.” 
A wink, “See you later, honey.” 
You took a second to breathe, and look over yourself in the mirror before approaching Peter’s door. Knocking for a second and opening it when he answered, he spun one eighty in his desk chair, a blur of blue plaid until he settled. 
Before he had a chance to speak you did, “did your aunt give us permission to have sex, or am I tripping?” 
Peter’s grin dimmed, he looked to his closet doors while his cheeks tinged pink. “I promise you, whatever she said to you, is nowhere near as bad as my talk.” 
“She mentioned that, was it all about the ins and outs of pleasuring a woman?” 
Peter’s avoiding eye contact, you came here to tell him he should keep his space but watching him shrink under your questions made you feel powerful. Each blush he gives makes you want to dig in further. 
He more or less shrugs, it’s a damn bold line, you don’t even know what you're saying until it comes out in full. 
“Tell me, Parker, could you please me?” 
Seconds tick, you can hear it on his clock, finally he looks at your face. Any trace of a blush fallen, it makes you feel choked. 
“I’m not sure, but I’d love to find out.” 
Panic. He’s not supposed to say that, he’s supposed to back down. You’re supposed to back him down.
Peter can’t go down this road and it’s your job to block his path, but you can’t stop yourself from moving out of his way. 
“I mean, since you already know about the nipple piercings…” you trail your words, expecting a sneer. Instead he laughs, a full on body laugh, it makes you smile, just the pure happiness radiating from him. 
For once a rumor is just something you can laugh about. 
“Psh, of course I knew about them. I mean, isn’t that the third time you’ve had them?” 
It was. You didn’t realize it but that was the third time the rumor was reused. You didn’t notice but he did, did he notice all the other ones too? All the ones that stated how bad you were? Did it even matter if he believed them, you didn’t think so, at least not at this point, you just didn’t want him to suffer the same fate. 
Peter pats the top of his bed, “take a seat,” your stomach lurches, the thought of being in his bed enough to ignite you in flames. His aunt said keep it in his room and he’s luring you right in, your palms feel like they’re sweating. If he heard all the rumors about you sleeping around and thought you were like that, he was about to be disappointed. 
Holding your eyes shut and squeezing fists you rush the words out, the quicker said the quicker this would be over. 
“I’m a virgin!” 
Instead, he looked utterly confused, looking around his room like he was trying to figure out where the explosion came from. Settling on a low release of words, his eyebrows furrowed in, “so am I?” 
Just to be clear, “I’m not looking to change that tonight, so if that’s why you wanted-” 
“No!” Peter almost slips on the floor he stands so quick, “that’s not at all why I wanted, I just thought…” He doesn’t know how to say it, he almost said he thought you needed a friend, but that could be offensive, or worse, he’d be friendzoning himself for you. 
“Thought what, I’d be an easy piece? Cause I know you’ve hea-” 
“I asked Mrs. Sturgis if I could tutor you!” 
You stop talking, his words looping in your brain. That doesn’t make sense, because if he did ask then that means he wanted to tutor you, that means there was a deeper meaning, that means when his aunt said he talked about you it went further than what was said at school. 
“Please,” he pleaded your name, “come sit? Just for a second.” 
You follow his command and sit on the edge of his bed, watching Peter pace as he combs his hands through his hair. He’s nervous. 
“I don’t know how to talk to you, my brain is just… you make me really nervous.” 
“Why did you ask to tutor me?” 
Peter stops moving to look at you, it was easier to answer when you asked. 
“So I could talk to you.” 
It’s a start, “why?” 
“I just wanted you to trust me. I hear what everyone says, and I don’t believe a word of it, but I didn’t want you to think I was asking for the wrong reasons, or making a joke out of you.” 
Your face scrunches, “you thought, I’d think, that you asking to tutor me, directly, would be a joke?” 
Peter shakes his head, sitting back in his chair and taking a second to answer you. 
“No, I think if I asked you out on a date you’d think it was a joke.” 
You laugh, “well, yeah… It’s not like you…” 
Except he does, and you can see it all over his face. He really, really does. With the new knowledge you don’t know how to act, suddenly aware Peter Parker sees you in a different light. He doesn’t see you as his student, he sees you as a potential mate. 
You only know fight or flight, and your flight option was crawling further up his bed, backing away until your back hit the wall, a dull thump produced. You give a barely audible, “ow,” your brain racing with thoughts, trying to catch up with his admittance. 
“You okay?” 
You’re thankful he can’t see you, the top bunk perfectly cutting your head from his viewpoint. 
“Peachy,” you can barely speak. 
“Cool, cause it seemed like you kinda freaked when I implied I wanted to ask you out.” 
You nibble on your thumbnail, “implied or asking?” 
“I’d rather ask when I can see you.” 
How is he so calm, he was the one that was just pacing the floor talking about how nervous he was. Now he’s a smooth talker.
“Is that why you asked to tutor me? So you could ask me out?” 
“Maybe, but you also need a tutor.” 
Rude. Fair, but rude. 
“So, you like me?” 
You wish you could see the smile he has, you know he has one, you can hear it in his laugh. 
“What would give you that impression?” 
You shrug, but he can’t see. “I don’t know, you’re not nervous anymore.” 
“I don’t have to be, the girl I like likes me too.” 
You gasp, you’ve said no such thing! There was absolutely nothing to base his accusation off of. You mock his words. 
“What would give you that impression?” 
Another laugh, you wish you could see that laugh. But once you emerge it’s over, it means he’s signed his life away to be with you. An act of selflessness you didn’t know was possible. 
“Look at yourself, you’re hiding cause you’re petrified to be asked out.” 
“No, I’m not. I’m protecting you, cause if you don’t ask, you won’t be ridiculed.” 
You imagine he looks offended, because he sounds it. 
“Do you think I give a shit what anyone thinks?”
“It’s isolating, Peter. I’d feel like I’d bring you down, and you don’t deserve that.” You take a breath, “you’re very kind, and I really like that.” 
“You’re kind too, and smart, and really, very, pretty. And I think once you have a boyfriend and a friend group, things won’t be so bad and everyone will forget why they teased you.” 
You hum, playing with your nails and chewing at your bottom lip, silence took over. It was a rush of a lot of emotions, you’re shocked and excited. You’re also panicked and jittery. It was everything you feared and wished for at once. 
Peter Parker is asking to be in your life, no matter the cost. 
That’s the bravest thing you’ve ever witnessed. 
Clearing your throat, “who would be my boyfriend?” 
Peter pretended to think about it, “you could have whoever you want.” 
“Anything you want, it’s yours.” An immediate flashback to the first day he sat with you, you mumbled out the words and scooted, just an inch, from the wall. 
“What was that?” 
You announce it, moving forward another inch, “anything you want, it’s yours. You said that at lunch the first day you sat with me, do you still mean it?” 
There’s just something you’ve been dying to do, something you’ve been wanting to do. And he said whatever you wanted. 
“Whatever you want, I mean it.” He sounds sincere too, you move forward a few inches. 
“Have you kissed anyone before?” 
Peter doesn’t understand the correlation but he’ll entertain it. “Yes?” 
You offer up more information, hoping he’d catch the hint. “I haven’t.” 
He doesn’t. “That’s no biggie, I think over half the school-” 
You speak over him, “but, I want to.” 
It takes Peter a second to register it, and when he does he almost collapses. 
“Oh. I see. Um, want me to come in there, or you come out here?” 
Your heart races, he’s so willing to do whatever with no qualms, you just asked and he’s delivering. You were about to have your first kiss with your number one crush, and he liked you too. 
“Wait, you’re gonna do it?” You’ve never been so excited. Or anxious. Were these the butterflies people talk about? 
“I’m sorry, did I read that wrong?” 
“No, you’re just… right now?” You think you’ll puke all over him, that’s why you’re stalling. 
You can see Peter drum his fingers over his pants, “do you wanna hold off for a second? I’ll do it whenever you want.” 
Your heart clenches, “Peter,” you groan out his name, “stop being so nice, it hurts.” Waiting a moment before continuing, “I’m gonna suck, and you won’t like me anymore.” 
God, you wish you could see the cocky grin smear, you can hear it, but you want to face him more than anything. It’s like he’s doing it on purpose. He knows you can’t stay hidden forever. 
“Wanna bet?” 
Why not? If you really think about the last year and change of high school, what else would you really have to lose? 
Plus, he was really cute. 
Overwhelmed with the knowledge of knowing you were about to have your first kiss, you slowly shimmied to the edge of the bed, right where you were before you hightailed it backwards. 
Peter looks even better than you’ve pictured, his hair fluffy from where he ran his hands through it. A greeting smile rested on him, and his bright brown eyes warmed. “Well, hello there, I was afraid you got lost.” 
Sucking the life force from your bravery, “I was told there would be kisses out here.” 
A surprised look crossed Peter before he fell back into neutral, pushing off his desk to glide over in front of you, his knees knocking yours, suddenly you feel panicky again. “There absolutely can be.” 
Peter catches your nerves and figures it’d be easier to actually get it over with, because the second he would pull away all panic would hit near bottom ground. Using what little skill he has, he rests his right hand on your thigh while his left cups your face. 
You suck in a breath, following his guide when he brings your face up to his. Peter swipes his thumb across your cheekbone and you feel everything in you be set ablaze with desire. 
You wonder if he can feel how warm your cheek is under his touch, if he does, he doesn’t comment. When you give him no disagreement he leans in, he can hear your breath hitch, it brings him a little pleasure to be the ‘cool’ one in the situation. 
When he’s closer than you would’ve ever imagined he gives you a grin, “hi.” It was a hushed whisper, you give him one back, “hi.” Your eyes flash from his gaze to his mouth, you were caught, it makes you look down at your hands. 
Your mind spirals, why hasn’t he kissed you yet, and also, what do you do with your hands? Giving it a shot you press them against Peter’s chest, but it feels like you’re pushing him off, so you move to his shoulders but it doesn’t feel quite right. 
“Want some help?” Peter caught on to your struggle, of course he did, he just notices the little things with you. He doesn’t even pull away, just bringing his hand that was on your thigh to bring your left hand around his neck. Your right hand outstretched to rest on his ribcage, when you look back he seems much closer, this time he’s looking at your mouth. 
“Do-” 
Peter cuts you off, a hushed whisper, “I’m gonna kiss you now,” you breathe in sharply, “oh, okay.” Peter can’t fight the smile, “is it?”
You don’t get a chance to answer, his mouth is on yours, and it’s heaven. You feel like you’re floating, his lips velvety smooth, the only way you know how to show your shock and appreciation is by gripping his shirt. Peter’s bottom lip favored your top lip, moving into his kisses awkwardly. He was much more experienced, but he didn’t make you feel overwhelmed, it felt like he was guiding you. 
You didn’t feel like you were doing much, but it felt like everything you imagined. It made you dream of a day where you could do this with him whenever you wanted. It felt like he was pulling away, you refused to part and followed him, holding tight to his flannel. It failed when he was able to push you away with ease. 
Peter sounded slightly winded, you were blinking with stars in your eyes, your heartbeat in your throat, and just a little shy to look at him. “Funny thing about kissing, you gotta breathe to keep doing it.” 
You're new to it, gulps of fresh air weren’t as refreshing as him. You wanted to kiss him again, but you didn’t want to put him out, and you still weren’t sure how to initiate or ask for it. 
Peter tapped on your knee, “wanna take me out for another test drive or are you happy with your purchase?” 
He wanted to do it again. 
That’s a good thing. 
“If I buy it, does that mean the test drives stop?” 
“Of course not. That just means you don’t need to ask to drive it.” 
You lean in this time, “but I have to ask now?” 
Peter speaks against your lips, “it would be the customary thing to do.” 
“Well then,” you speak softly and look at him, “would you kiss me again?” 
Your eyes close when he brushes against your mouth, a kiss is pressed to the corner of your cheek, “depends, are you planning on purchasing?” 
Boldly, you give him a chaste kiss, “everyone at school is gonna hate my new car.” 
Peter kisses your cheek, “best in show, baby. Best in show.” 
You take a deep breath, it wasn’t a bad thing to need someone. And it wouldn’t be bad to let yourself have them. 
Peter Parker heard everything everyone said but he wasn’t even listening, it felt dizzying, for the first time someone saw the real you, the good you and wanted you. He wanted nothing and everything at the same time. You liked him, maybe a bit too much, and the risk of losing him was enough to send you flying. But the chance of love, and hope and trust was even bigger. 
Someone wasn’t scared to have a big reputation with you. Peter Parker was proud to have the same big enemies as you. 
And for that reason, 
“Sold.” 
823 notes · View notes
princessbrunette · 23 days
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playlists for the readers … ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ³ ᵔ ꒱ྀིა
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bunny!reader ♡
just girly fun vibes — she likes her music catchy, pop-y and fairly relatable. rafe never lets her play her music in the car unfortunately, because he cannot be seen speeding down the road blasting the pussy cat dolls.
🎀 cassie — ditto
🎀 kali uchis, steve lacy, vince staples — only girl
🎀 frank ocean — sweet life
🎀 coco & clair — pretty
🎀 sabrina carpenter — feather
🎀 flo milli — never lose me
🎀 cassie — miss your touch
🎀 childish gambino, jhené aiko — pink toes
🎀 flo.rida, wynter — sugar
🎀 kali uchis — honey baby (SPOILED!)
🎀 angels — my boyfriends back
🎀 foxy brown, kelis — candy
🎀 lana del rey — music to watch boys to
🎀 jhené aiko — maniac
🎀 fergie — clumsy
🎀 ciara, 50 cent — can’t leave ‘em alone
🎀 shelley duvall — he needs me
🎀 nancy sinatra — sugar town
🎀 heidi montag — i’ll do it
🎀 nicki minaj, jeremiah — favourite
🎀 kali uchis — melting
🎀 lady gaga — boys boys boys
🎀 cassie — long way 2 go
🎀 the pussycat dolls — when i grow up
🎀 tom tom club — genius of love
🎀 beyoncé — freakum dress
🎀 gwen stefani — bubble pop electric
🎀 marina — primadonna girl
🎀 madonna — material girl
🎀 pussy cat dolls — stickwitu
🎀 leven kali, syd — do u wrong
🎀 kiana ledé — mad at me
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kitty!reader ♡
listens to her music to feel cool n edgy. shes one of those people that think she’s a bitch but she’s not at all, just a lil grumpy. wants everyone to know she liked deftones before it was cool.
🐈‍⬛ pixies — is she weird
🐈‍⬛ arctic monkeys — mardy bum
🐈‍⬛ black box recorder — child psychology
🐈‍⬛ the smiths — pretty girls make graves
🐈‍⬛ ethel cain — crush
🐈‍⬛ mazzy star — she’s my baby
🐈‍⬛ radiohead — creep
🐈‍⬛ chris isaak — wicked game
🐈‍⬛ limp bizkit — rollin’
🐈‍⬛ the pretty reckless — makes me wanna die
🐈‍⬛ pearly drops — bloom for me
🐈‍⬛ deftones — root
🐈‍⬛ fka twigs — two weeks
🐈‍⬛ deftones — romantic dreams
🐈‍⬛ hole — doll parts
🐈‍⬛ margeaux — hot faced
🐈‍⬛ siouxsie and the banshees — she’s a carnival
🐈‍⬛ kip tyler — she’s my witch
🐈‍⬛ deftones — mascara
🐈‍⬛ soho dolls — bang bang bang bang
🐈‍⬛ enigma — sadeness
🐈‍⬛ DANGERDOOM, MF DOOM — perfect hair
🐈‍⬛ radiohead — idioteque
🐈‍⬛ björk — come to me
🐈‍⬛ the nbhd — fallen star
🐈‍⬛ arctic monkeys — crying lightening
🐈‍⬛ deftones — diamond eyes
🐈‍⬛ the smiths — girl afraid
🐈‍⬛ ethel cain — unpunishable
🐈‍⬛ mitski — townie
🐈‍⬛ gorillaz — kids with guns
🐈‍⬛ evanescence — taking over me
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deer!reader ♡
she’d say her playlists are all over the place — but it’s organised mess. she has them perfectly collated and in her head they make perfect sense. don’t put her on the aux though, not because the songs aren’t good but because the vibes are all over the place.
🍪 shura — 2shy
🍪 minnie riperton — les fleurs
🍪 april march — chick habit
🍪 benee — kool
🍪 camille saint- saëns — … le cygne
🍪 the little dippers — forever
🍪 allie x, mitski — susie save your love
🍪 she & him — why do you let me stay here?
🍪 lesley gore — i’m coolin’ no foolin’
🍪 sza — prom
🍪 the penguins — earth angel
🍪 SALES — renee
🍪 cleo sol — sunshine
🍪 japanese breakfast — be sweet
🍪 kate bush — cloud busting
🍪 mazzy star — halah
🍪 the mamas & papas — dedicated to the one i love
🍪 scissors sisters — filthy / gorgeous
🍪 fiona apples — shameika
🍪 fleetwood mac — mystified
🍪 margo guryan — under my umbrella
🍪 erykah badu — apple tree
🍪 mort garson — plantasia
🍪 sza — sweet november
🍪 quadron — sea salt
🍪 corinne bailey rae — green aphrodisiac
🍪 sade — lovers rock
🍪 ella fitzgerald — moonlight serenade
🍪 cigarettes after sex — truly
🍪 tv girl — heaven is a bedroom
🍪 the velvet underground — femme fetale
🍪 clairo, coco & clair — racecar
🍪 james blake, rosalía — barefoot in the park
🍪 tame impala — nangs
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puppy!reader ♡
never seen without her walkman — loves running around and dancing to her upbeat music. her playlists will remind you of days in the sun and dancing in summer rain.
🐶 her’s — love on the line (call now)
🐶 HAIM — summer girl
🐶 the la’s — there she goes
🐶 stacey q — two of hearts
🐶 faye webster — right side of my neck
🐶 bakar, summer walker — hell n back
🐶 beabadoobee — sunny day
🐶 dominic fike — babydoll
🐶 jungle — back on 74
🐶 pinkpanthress — attracted to you
🐶 duran duran — girls on film
🐶 shuggie otis — strawberry letter 23
🐶 sixpence none the richer — kiss me
🐶 matilda mann — bloom
🐶 HAIM — falling
🐶 311 — amber
🐶 earth, wind & fire — boogie wonderland
🐶 lorde — ribs
🐶 lesley gore — sunshine lollipops and rainbows
🐶 stevie wonder — all i do
🐶 the human league — don’t you want me
🐶 the turtles — happy together
🐶 pet shop boys — west end girls
🐶 clairo — bags
🐶 pat benetar — love is a battlefield
🐶 the psychedelic furs — love my way
🐶 scouting for girls — she’s so lovely
🐶 noisettes — wild young hearts
🐶 the all eyes i — beat goes on
🐶 tame impala — elephant
🐶 sublime — waiting for my ruca
🐶 mgmt — boogie down
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mochinomnoms · 2 months
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Hellooo
Congrats on your 1K!!!🎉🎉🎉
I discovered you blog recently and I am HOOKED, your writing is so tasty and fluid that I just keep going ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧
I Hope you dont get too tired with requests, take breaks and drink water!!!
Ok for the actual ask, may I have a dialogue 19 with Eyedress, and if it were suggestive it would be perfect
Preferably Ruggie💞 you can choose the other 2 (If you even want to)
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ruggie bucchi x gn!reader [tags] — suggestive, tiny bit of hurt but not really [wc} - 1, 025 prompt 19 “I try to find a reason to pull us apart"” song: Kiss Me Like It’s the First Time (Eyedress, “Let's Skip to the Wedding”) note - Ruggie canonically calls you a puppy. take that with what you will. francesca (1k event)
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“Kiss me like it's the last time/ You'll fall in love / I always want your love”
Ruggie knows that compared to everyone else on campus, he was the bottom of the barrel. He wasn’t a prince, an heir to a fortune, or even from a well-off family. Sure, his Grandma was a wonderful lady, maybe a bit strict growing up, but besides her and their home, Ruggie didn’t have much to offer. Maybe if you weren’t in such a bad spot, if you had a good family here, if you hadn’t been plucked from your world with nothing but the clothes on your back, he’d be happy to call you his own. 
But he can’t. How can he when you have people willing to drop thousands of thaumarks on you like it’s nothing. Literally! He was listening to Kalim run his mouth as he talked about renovating Ramshackle to your preference. 
“Oh! And we can get you quartz countertops! What kind of colors do you like, I can have it made to your favorite aesthetic! Ooh, what if we replaced all the appliances to match it? The kitchen back home has a gas stove built into the countertop, we can replace—”
“Uh, I’d need gas for that though, right?” You laughed, splayed across Ruggie as you two lay in your bed. Kalim was on video call with you, having gone back home for the weekend for some sort of event. You’d been complaining about one of your kitchen cabinets breaking and letting your few plates tumble out. Thank the Seven that they were plastic dishes. 
Kalim being, well, Kalim, immediately went into a tangent about adding in a gas line to your dorm and adding this and that. Everyone was acutely aware that Kalim, as generous and kind as he was, was especially sweet on you. There were even some rumors that he had a crush on you, something that made Ruggie feel ill. 
You just laughed off Kalim as he continued to whine about fixing up the dorm. You ended the call as you cheerfully told Kailm goodnight. 
“Do whatever you want Kalim, I won’t complain about free renovations! Good night, say bye Rugs.”
“Hmm? Oh, bye Kalim.” Ruggie gave Kalim a small smile and wave, who returned it with a beaming grin. 
After a few more words between you and Kalim, you finally ended the video call, tossing your phone to the night stand, and moving to straddle Ruggie’s hips. 
“What’s wrong?”
Ruggie blinked up at you in confusion. “What?”
“What’s wrong? Your ears are flat, they only go flat when you’re upset.” Ruggie whimpered as you leaned down to flutter kisses down his throat, shuddering as you pressed your teeth against his Adam's apple. 
“You wanna tell me what’s wrong? You jealous?” 
“Mmh, no I’m just—aaaAAAaaaAhH!” Ruggie yelped as you dug your teeth into the nape of his neck, suckling until you were satisfied with the bruising red mark forming on his skin. 
“Geez, give a guy a warning, won’t ya?” Ruggie let out a breathless chuckle, his chest rumbling as he purred from each kiss you pressed up your neck as you hovered over his lips. “You’re nothing but trouble, Puppy.”
“And yet, you love this trouble, don’t you?” The sound of your kissing, mixed with gasps and sighs from both of you echoed in the room.
“Now tell me,” Ruggie tried following your lips as you pulled away, but you kept him pinned to the bed. By now, you’d managed to throw his shirt across the room and traced your nails down Ruggie’s chest. “Why are you upset? Was it Kalim’s call? You know, he just likes to say hi sometimes.”
Ruggie pinned his ears flatter against his head, huffing as he looked to the side, though be traced his hands up and down your arms. 
“Nothin’, it’s just that Kalim sure likes to spoil ya. You know?”
You hummed, waiting for him to keep going. 
“I’m just saying, he’s really sweet on you. Maybe you should consider taking advantage and marrying the guy!” Ruggie laughed, though it sounded forced. 
He stopped as you clicked your tongue, leaning back down to bite at his cheek. 
“Hey! You know your teeth aren’t really sharp enough for that.” Ruggie chuckled as you stopped and pouted, looking up at him as you batted your eyelashes. 
“Hmph, it’s like you just wanna get rid of me.”
“That’s not what I meant—”
“That’s what it sounds like!” You argued, huffing into his neck as you pushed yourself against his chest and neck, like you were trying to mold yourself to him. “You always do this. If I didn’t want to be with you, I would’ve left already…”
Ruggie sighed, rubbing the skin between your shirt and bottoms with his thumbs. “I know, I know. I just think that you oughta take advantage. Kalim’s not the only one, and you’re all by yourself here! Get yourself a rich boyfriend, and you’re set for life!”
You suddenly grabbed the back of his head, pulling at his hair to make Ruggie expose his neck again. He whimpered at the rough touch, though his tail was wagging rapidly against the sheets. 
“And why would I do that?” His hand slid under your shirt and up your spine. He gently scratched your back as you shuddered into his touch. “When I have such a lovely boyfriend?”
Lips molded against each other, teeth clashed, and hips rolled as Ruggie, once again, failed to push you away. Instead, as he slipped your shirt off and moved to give you your own love bites and hickeys, Ruggie moved to bring your bodies closer together. Ruggie let himself lose himself in you once again, and would continue to do so. Again and again, until he found another half-hearted excuse. 
But for now? 
You pulled away again, breathless and flushed. “I just want to spoil my hardworking hyena, won’t you let your Puppy do that?” The down right heady tone in your voice, in that low, soft whine, made him hot in all the right places. Ruggie nodded, giving you the okay to wreck him. 
For now, he’ll indulge, shamelessly, in you. As long as you’ll continue to have him. 
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comments and reblogs appreciated 🩷
188 notes · View notes
atinyniki · 6 months
Text
just kiss me already!
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group: stray kids !
pairing: nonidol!bangchan x f!reader
genre: fluff, angst, suggestive at the end
warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, fighting (verbal), 3racha chan (songs unreleased), friends with current skz members, suggestive
authors note: this shit actually sucks but i tried even tho i had no motivation. ill make another chan fic soon to compensate. this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)
wc: 2858
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“oh my gosh you bitch”
“hey! don’t call me a bitch just because you suck at the game”
you haven’t one a single game against chan since he came over. 
“i don’t wanna play anymore”, you say with a pout.
“awh come onnn don’t be a sore loser”, he smirks. 
it’s not that you don’t wanna play because you’re losing, you just don’t want to play because you both have been at it for four hours.
“let’s watch a show instead!”
“fine, but i’m choosing.”
it’s pretty easy to get chan to do what you want. you’re his weakness, he’ll do anything to make you happy to be honest. you never seem to notice the way he looks at you, or how much he tries to get your attention. 
on the other hand, you absolutely adore chan. not just the way he looked, even though he is incredibly beautiful, but you admire how caring he is. at first it was just minor attraction, but then you got closer and well… you know.
neither of you realize you’ve loved each other for so long.
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“chan? can you come over please? it’s important”
“yeah of course i’m on my way”
within the next two minutes he was in front of your door. “what’s wrong? are you okay?”
you laugh a little when you see the look on his face. “chan i’m fine, i just need help.”
“so you made me run all the way here for nothing?
you drag him to the kitchen and close the door behind you, rolling your eyes. “i never asked you to run here dumbass. you literally live next door”
chan walks into the kitchen and freezes when he sees the state of it. bowls everywhere, flour and batter scattered all over the countertop, and an assortment of cookie cutters placed next to the stan mixer.
“listen, i really need to make two hundred cookies within the next two hours. my oven can’t hold more than twenty four at a time. could you maybe bake like half of them in your oven?”
“why would you need two hundred cookies…?”, he asks incredulously.
“it’s my friends birthday tomorrow. she loves these cookies”
“oh jeez… okay fine. how long do i need to bake them for?”
“twenty six minutes…”
“yes ma’am, ill be on my way then”. he quickly grabs the trays of cookies and gives you a peck on your forehead, lips lingering for a second too long, and runs back to his house. 
you could still feel his lips on you, but you continued swapping out trays in hopes to distract yourself. 
chan didn’t burn a single cookie. your friend loved them.
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“hyung come on! don’t be a wuss”, jisung pouts.
“no jisung. not happening”
“hey well you’re the one that chose dareeee”, 
“fine i’ll just take a shot.”
the entire circle broke out into disappointed groans, but you decided to move on from chan. 
“y/n! truth or dare”
you jerk your head towards lily, “what? who said it’s my turn?!”
“me. now answer”, lily says a matter-of-fact-ly 
“fine. dare”
“you. chan. seven minutes in heaven. right now.”
you look over to chan, silently asking for permission with your eyes despite how nervous you look. you know you don’t have to do anything but… what if he wants to? no. he would never. he doesn’t like you like that.
both of you get up and walk into the room, and changbin quickly turns the lights off and leaves.
“do the lights really have to be off?”
chan walks over to the light switch, hands fumbling to find the knob. he slowly turns it so that the lights are dimmed, but enough so that you both can still see.
chan walks over to the bed, patting the part of the bed next to him and inviting you to sit down. you silently walk towards the bed and sit down, instantly covering yourself with the blanket.
“it’s freezing in here… how does seungmin survive in a room like this?”
“hm… no wonder his personality is always so cold.”
you both laugh a little at chans comment. seungmin has a thing for tormenting chan. subconsciously, you cuddle up to chan, still shivering a bit from the cold.
he seems to get the memo, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. moments of silence pass, and it’s been far too long without a sound for it to not be awkward.
suddenly, chan feels a weight on his shoulder and turns to look at it. you’re sound asleep, he accounts it to either your tipsiness or your exhaustion from working all day. 
he holds your hand for a bit, the warmth of it passing through your whole body and causing you to let out a satisfied hum in your sleep. he grabs his phone to text changbin. 
“y/n fell asleep. we’ll be in here for a while if that’s okay. you can continue without us”
“yeah yeah whatever just say you want to make out with her in peace”
“shut up changbin.“
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the next morning, you wake up in chans bed. your head starts ringing and you think about what happened the night before. you’re slowly starting to become aware of your surroundings, and the snoring coming from beside you. 
“chan. chan wake up”
“mmmhh”
“chan what happened last night”
“hm?”, he says as he finally peaks his head out of the covers.
his senses slowly come back to him, and his face instantly flushes red, the crimson color kissing his collarbone too. you’re dressed in his shirt that’s far too large for you, with a pair of his shorts on. the shirt reaches all the way down to your mid-thigh, even while sitting down.
you look at him, waiting for him to answer. “chan are you okay?”
“hm? oh yeah sorry. nothing happened don’t worry, you were just tired so i brought you home, but you insisted to stay with me”
your face flushes red, and you realize what you’re wearing. you look down, playing with the hem of the t-shirt you’re wearing. “sorry about the clothes by the way, you just looked really cold so i offered them to you”
oh. so he didn’t dress you. thank god. you don’t think you could have faced him if he did. “thank you channie.”
he smiles at you, ears going slightly red at the tips. he doesn’t want to admit what that nickname does to him, especially in your voice. you quickly get out of bed, telling chan you’ll be back soon. you go to your house to get ready for the day.
no matter how much you douse your face in cold water, the red tint doesn’t seem to fade. 
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“wow chan this is amazing!”
his face goes red as he chuckles, “thank you y/n”
changbin doesn’t fail to notice how shy chan gets around you, but he decides not to talk about it while you’re here. instead, he snickers with jisung in the corner. 
“shut up you two. i know what you’re on about”
the both of them instantly sit up straight, going silent. 
you continue listening to the rest of the tracks, loving every second of it. you give hums and nods of approval, watching the boys’ faces light up every time.
not too long after, the boys left, leaving just you and chan in his studio. you’re humming along to one of the songs he showed you earlier. he couldn’t help but smile, hoping you wouldn’t notice that it made him just a little bit too happy.
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you and chan are sitting on your bed again, watching the new kdrama that just came out. your heart jumped in your chest as you watched the scene intently, the heat of it making your face flush red. 
“damn when is someone gonna kiss me with that much passion”, chan jokes. you couldn’t help but laugh. you two have gotten a lot closer recently, and you’ve found out that chan is really into skinship.
he has you cuddled up with him under the blankets right now, your small arms wrapped around his bicep. you look up at him, just to admire him a little as he focuses on the show. what you didn’t expect though, was for him to turn his face only mere seconds later.
only then do you process just how close you are, how your lips are just inches away from eachother. chan seems to notice this too, his hands fidgeting with his drawstrings. he gives you a small smile, and turns his head back to the movie.
you’re probably being delusional, but you swear something had changed in the way he looked at you. 
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“y/n please, do something. he isn’t listening to us…”
“i’ll be there soon.”
you quickly rush over to chans house, knocking on the door to his studio.
“changbin i said leave me alone.”, chans voice was harsh. youve never heard him sound so aggressive towards anyone, he was normally really sweet. you motion to jisung and changbin to leave the room. 
“i got this, it’s okay”, you whisper to them.
“chan it’s me. please open the door”
the door flies open within seconds, and you take in chans state. his hair is a mess, two dark purple splotches under his eyes. there are energy drinks scattered all over his desk, broken pencils and scattered papers.
“what… happened?
chan began to speak, but you cut him off.
“we’re going to bed. tell me what happened there”
“n-no! let me save my work at least.”
you walk in the studio with him, waiting on the couch as he quickly saved his progress. you both walk out the room, entering his bedroom and settling under the sheets. 
“go to sleep, ill be here when you wake up.”
you try your best to stay up, but you just couldn’t let yourself. sleep takes over your body, eyes becoming heavy and finally fluttering shut for the night.
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you wake the next morning to an unfamiliar warmth. chan has his arms around you, his head buried in your chest. you thought he looked adorable like this, until he looked up at you when he realized you woke up. 
his bloodshot eyes stared back up at you, and you began to process the teardrops staining your hoodie. 
you don’t say anything more. you just pull him closer, rubbing small circles along his back. “i know you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, but you need to let all this out somehow. if you need someone please call me. you know im always right here”
chan doesn’t respond, he didn’t trust his voice enough. his body trembled in your hold, nuzzling his nose into the comforting warmth of your chest.
once he’s calmed down a little, he looks up at you again. you stare at eachother for a good while, just like you did when you watched that movie. there was something different swirling in his eyes, but you just couldn’t place it.
instead of worrying about that, you quickly placed a peck on his forehead, feeling him relax in your hold. he falls back asleep not too long after. he must have been tired.
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“WOOOO!!”
you hadn’t felt so alive in months. you knew it was incredibly childish, but you missed having someone to push you on the swings. chans arms pushed you so high you felt like you could touch the stars.
the moon shines so beautifully, covering the park in a light glow. you looked ethereal, that’s what chan thought at least. your bright smile lit up his whole world, your giggle making his heart flutter. the moonlight hit your face just right, your eyes shimmering in the darkness.
chan gradually slowed your swing down, not wanting you to thrash around. 
“done already?”, you say with a pout.
“it’s almost one in the morning, we have to go now”, he pouts back.
you both start walking back from the park, talking about chans plans for the future with 3racha. he seems so passionate about music, his eyes lighting up every time he mentioned changbin and jisung.
you look up at him, smiling a little as how cute he sounded talking about this. he looks down at you, the same unplaceable emotion in his eyes, but you stay there for a little longer.
he smiles at you. you instinctively smile back. his smile puts his adorable dimples on display, and you bring one of your fingers up to poke them. you both break out into a fit of giggles, beginning to walk home again.
time without chan began to feel like time you’ve wasted.
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“i’m not leaving”
“chan please. you need to rest”
“jeez y/n, when did you start being so clingy? the only thing i need right now is to finish this. either stay here and shut up or get the hell out. i can’t have you nagging me, this is really important”
in the three years you’ve known chan, you have never once heard him speak like this. not to you, not to anyone. you held your tears in, making sure to hide them from chan before they fell, and darted out the door. 
you quickly made your way to your house, stupidly forgetting to lock your door in your upset state. you want to yell at him. not to be mean, but just to get it in his damn head that you care about him. you wish he’d just understand.
you clutch your sweatshirt in your hands, the pain in your chest was beginning to get unbearable. you quickly go inside your room and lock the door, flopping onto your bed as sobs rack your body.
not too long after, you hear knocking on your door. 
“y/n?”, you hear chan call out for you.
you make your way to the bedroom door, sliding down onto the floor. you don’t think you’re ready to face him yet. “what do you want”
chan was taken aback by the sharp tone in your voice. he knew it was coming, he just didn’t expect it to hurt so bad. 
“i’m sorry. i know you only meant good and wanted me to be okay but… i just have so much left to do. i’m overwhelmed and scared im not going to be able to get everything done on time and i lashed out at you. i know that’s no excuse to hurt someone you love but i really didn’t mean it. i’m so-“
“chan you’re rambling again”, you pout.
“oh i’m sorry…”
you quickly open the door, helping chan off of the floor. you quickly bring him to your bed and force him to lay down. “sleep. please”
he could tell you’ve almost lost your patience, so he huddles up closer to you and lets sleep overtake his body. “goodnight y/n. thank you”
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today, you wake up to a different sight than usual. normally, chans face is buried in your chest or he’s hugging you from behind. this time was different. he was mere centimeters away from you, nose brushing against yours. 
you quickly shut your eyes, hoping you didn’t go red at just the sight of him.
not too long after, chan wakes and gets ready for the day, coming back into your home to see you already awake. 
you were dressed in a large grey t-shirt. you don’t quite remember where it came from, but it’s incredibly comfortable. 
chan recognizes it instantly. it’s the shirt he gave you the first night you slept over at his house. his heart swelled at the sight, wishing he could see you in his clothes everyday. 
without a second thought, he quickly runs towards you, sitting on the bed right next to you again. he’s looking at you the same way he has been for the past couple months.
this time around though, he does something different. his hand makes his way up to cup your cheek, his big hands swallowing some of your jawline too. 
he slowly moves his face closer to you, now only inches away from your lips. your heart rate quickens, feeling his breath fan over your lips.
“chan, just kiss me already. please.”
he tentatively moves closer, not getting a chance to process before you crash your lips into his. it’s a kiss of pure want and need. “fuck y/n. i’ve been waiting to do this for so long”
“i love you channie”, you whispered breathlessly.
a flip switched inside of him, immediately pushing you down onto your back while he hovered over you. he kisses at your jawline, red marks appearing all over your neck. “i love you so much baby”, he says in between kisses.
you couldn’t hold back your whimpers, the feeling was too much for you to handle. all of a sudden, you heard a loud ringing.
chan picked up his phone, sounding a little aggravated. “hello?”
“chan where are you?”, jisung asked him
“i’m with y/n. we’re watching a movie. why?”
“oh sorry my bad. have-“
he hung up before jisung could finish, eager to get back to you.
“now, where were we?”
<3
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337 notes · View notes
diejager · 4 months
Note
OKOK so if you don’t wanna do this it’s totally FINE!
I grew up without a father, so I always felt like I had to be the protector (I’m not gonna get into full detail,) and it gave me BAD trauma. (I’m a female) How would 141 react to this? Like basically them telling me I don’t have to be tough anymore, I don’t have to hide my emotions from people, I don’t have to be the strong one. Again if you don’t want to do this it’s okay! I’ve just been feeling really down with myself, I’ve been breaking into random crying episodes.
𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶♥︎♥︎
Ah, I see, your father really missed out on something good. I just want to apologise in advance if I got some things terribly wrong. If you need someone to talk to my DMs are open. Love you too🥰
Rest Cw: absent father, trauma, breaking down, tell me if I missed any.
They watched you stumble, stutter around them and grow awkward and self-conscious when they became protective of you, more so than a normal colleague relationship implied. It made your shoulders tense, smile looking more like a wince than the ones they were used to and your mind block out anything that would incur a resurgent memory. It pained to see you so uneasy towards their affection, the love and softness they easily gave you once you pushed through their hardened hearts and shatter the walls they built around themselves.
You were always so strong, going forth without hesitation to do what you had to, the strong-headed operator in their Task Force that always stepped ahead to protect them and yourself. Despite your freely-given affection, you were absent emotionally, dancing on the line of emptiness and loneliness, a lasting impact of an absent parent. You were sometimes odd, mind wandering to different places and coming up with what-ifs situations, blocking ou the world around you - them and the bustling crowd in the Mess hall - or at times, closing your door in their faces, turning your back to them when you seemed to need them the most, never letting them help you quell that heartache and pain.
“Lass,” it was Johnny’s voice, the jovial one of your quirky group, his saddened voice muffled by your closed door, a physical barrier between them and your broken world, “Let us in, would ya?”
If you ignored them long enough, they’d eventually leave you. Most did that, never bothering to put more effort into interacting with you when you tried to ignore them, they wouldn’t bother you much more later.
“Let us help you, ” Kyle, it was him that spoke up after Johnny, a soft thrum in his voice, gentle and reassuring as he gave a small knock on your door. He called out your name - you government one - through it, a little hum following it.
It pained you to shut them out, the cord connecting you to them pulled tightly, ready to snap if you did anything mad. Your face burned, blinking away the tears that clung to your lashes and shuddering, laboured gasps through your mouth. You couldn’t let them see you like this, it would shatter the image you tried so hard to create through blood, sweat and tears, all your hard work would go to waste if you opened the door.
“Please.”
You choked a breath, eyes widening as your mind spun. No one else had the deep and low tone, a rumble-like growl softened to seem harmless, almost vulnerable in sound. You’d never heard Ghost speak so gently —so weak and soft. How could you say no when Ghost had asked so nicely, his pretty please echoing in your mind like a song on repeat.
“You don’t have to let everyone in, sweetheart,” Price had always been a good bargainer, his words throwing the truth into people’s face despite their reluctance to listen. “Just one of us, yeah?”
You guessed having all of them in wouldn’t be too bad, knowing how much of a part you played in their little group of misfits and chaotic bunch. They’ve showed how much they cared for you prior to this, many times in and out of deployment, the drunken moments in a pub or in the solace of the Task Force’s own rec room. Despite your paranoid and fearful mind conjuring up many images and situations, you fond yourself unconsciously moving towards the door, your silent steps growing loud the closer you got to the metal knob. You flicked the lock off, letting it crack open. Light from the hall flooded in, peaking through your opened door, encompassing the towering figure of your Lieutenant, a sentry to your self-proclaimed cell, the protector of your broken mind.
“There you are, luv,” you could see the smile through his eyes, his warm browns showering you in silent affection, “Let me in?”
Letting him in was the hardest, yet easiest thing you’d ever done, welcoming him - another man’s fractured min - into your darkest moments, cheeks wet and lips bitten bloody, choking down your sobs. It couldn’t hurt to let them help, to let Price, Ghost, Kyle and Johnny in.
Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @havoc973 @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @danielle143 @dont-mind-me-just-existing-sadly @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @kaelysia @notspiders @velvetsoulweaver @petwifed @aldis-nuts @randominstake
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strniohoeee · 6 months
Text
Racketeer
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Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Y/N hates that Chris packs heat when they go out, but what happens one night when he may need it?🗣️
Warnings⚠️: Chris has that pewpew on him. This is pure self indulgence for my friend and I. I was thinking about the podcast where Chris said if he didn’t have Nick or Matt he’d def be drinking and smoking and doing bad shit. So I made Chris a “hoodrat”. I’m from NY, so we always say hoodrat. If you’re offended uhhh my bad?? Idk this is normal slang for me
Song for the imagine: Sweetheart- Pop Smoke feat. Fivio Foreign
You see my face, you better move
Bullets flyin’ through the room
They want static, I’m in the mood
To say Chris was always ready for whatever would be an understatement. Chris was always packing heat, and to be honest I hated it.
He always told me it was for protection in case anyone got funny around him or me, but I never liked the idea of my man potentially hurting someone.
I adored him for wanting to protect me, but also that put a target on my back. Especially since everyone in Boston knew Chris and I. And they especially knew the crew Chris ran with.
I always brought this up to him, and he would go back to saying that, that was the reason he carried at all costs. When I met Chris we were in high school, and he was always hanging with the wrong crowd, but he never had enemies. I fell in love with him for who he was when he wasn’t around his hooligan friends, but when we left high school, and I realized this was his lifestyle I just came to terms with it
“Chris I don’t think you should have that on you” I told him as we were getting ready to go out to a club
“Nah. Just in case someone wanna breathe loud near my woman. Ima boom his face off” he said
“Sweet of you to want to protect me, but can’t you just fist fight” I told him
“Baby, the life I live they don’t play fair. I gotta carry” he said shrugging his shoulders
“Man I really wish you’d stop hanging around those asshole” I said back
“Come onnn don’t speak like that” he said kissing me
“I’m serious Christopher. You should really have gone to school, or do something with your creativity so you wouldn’t be having to have a strap on you wherever we go” I said scolding him
“Listen mama, I promise I’m going to get us out of this lifestyle” he said hugging me from behind
“Okay Christopher” I said rolling my eyes at him
Chris and I had gone to a small club downtown that his friends were raving about. We hadn’t been to a club in a while, and we really wanted to go out and have some fun
We got to the club and got a table, and ordered some drinks. We were all chilling and laughing here and there. Chris and I had danced to a few songs
I was at the bar closing the tab, and handing over Chris’ card to the bartender, when a guy came over and tried to speak to me
“How are you tonight?” He asked
“I’m fine” I said not even looking at him
“What’s wrong pretty lady?” He asked trying to touch me
“Back off! I have a man” I said rudely and backed away
“Chill lil mama. It was never that serious” he said walking off
I had paid the bill, and walked over to Chris
“What was that about?” He asked looking at me with concern
“Some fucking weirdo tryna talk to me, but I told him I had a man, and he ran off” I told Chris
As we were getting ready to leave the same man walked by me
“There’s that pretty lady again” he said smiling at me
“Yo fuck outta here!” Chris said to the guy putting his hand up to keep us separated
He just looked at Chris and walked off not thinking much of it
We were all outside chatting while Chris friends waited for their rides, and that same man came around again
“I think it’s fate the way we keep bumping into each other” he said trying to grab my right arm, but I moved slightly
“Yo! Beat it you fucking weirdo” Chris said a little more upset
“Who the fuck are you?” The guy said
Chris pulled me a little towards him so I would be out of the way of the man’s view
Chris lifted his shirt, flashing the pistol sitting in the waistband of his jeans
“I’m her boyfriend, so like I said, get the fuck outta here” Chris said ready to pop the guy
“Yo man! I ain’t even mean anything I swear” the guy said getting scared
“Yeah. Keep it pushing before I pistol whip you” he said watching the guy walk away, and pulling me in closer
“The fuck that guy thought he was” Chris said looking over his shoulder watching the guy walk down the street
“Come on baby. Don’t worry about him” I said pulling Chris to look at me
“This is why I carry my gun because any mother fucker will try me” he said rolling his eyes
“I’m grateful baby. That you were here to protect me” I said giving him a kiss
“Always baby. I’ll fuck anybody up for you. I love you” he said kissing me back
After his friends got in their rides, we both headed back home. I guess I didn’t mind Chris carrying now since he did protect me.
The End
This was pure self indulgence, so I hope yall enjoyed this as much as I did making this little short story 😋🤞🏽
-J💅🏽
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sage-green-matcha · 9 months
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WHAT WAS I MADE FOR? - ETHAN LANDRY ✨
“Cause I, I don't know how to feel. But I wanna try. I don't know how to feel, but someday I might” - Billie Eilish
Content includes: Reader with depression, Ethan Fluff! Ethan helping you heal! Angst ig?
A/n: I’m so excited for the Barbie movie! I rlly wanted to write something with Billies song, just because she means so much to me! My first fanfic ever was a Billie one, it was horrible! Anyways, to anyone who feels stuck or in a slump just know you’ll be okay. There’s people who love and appreciate you even if you don’t feel it. I’ll always be here if any of you guys wanna talk! My request box is always open! ILY guys sm 💛
<3
<3
<3
You felt horrible. You had fallen into a deep hole that you couldn't get out of. You didn't even attempt to try. You missed many classes, your friends becoming concerned for you. You didn’t know what to do with life anymore. It had all collapsed down on you, you just couldn’t take it anymore.
You didn’t know your purpose in life. You were mentally stuck and you didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t communicate your feelings because you didn’t understand them anymore.
You were happy, and you knew you could be happy again. You wanted to go back in time, fix everything and anything that went wrong. Just so you could save yourself from feeling this way.
Ethan Landry was the only one who could get you out of your slump. He knew exactly what to say, even if it didn’t always come out perfectly. “It’s okay…to feel like that. I mean you don’t always have to be perfect, Y/n. We love you for you” his shirt would soak up your tears, keeping you company as you cried. You felt safe with him. He didn’t judge or ignore you. He actually listened and gave his opinion on things. He was helping you heal and you didn’t know how. It was just Ethan being his usual self that helped you.
“Wanna go out on a drive?” Ethan stood at your room door with keys in hand, a baggy of your favorite snacks in the other. “Yea” your smile was brittle but it was still for him, and it made him melt every time you showed it.
“How’d you feel today?” You played with the strings of your hoodie, head laid back on the car seat. “Okay, I think? Sam and Tara were fighting all day, which made me annoyed. And then I was sad I think, or frustrated because they literally wouldn’t shut up” he was amazed at how trusting you were with him. You vocalized your feelings way better than before.
“I think I forgot how to be happy” a small frown was on your face, heavy bags under your eyes from lack of sleep. Ethan looked at you with concern, closing his laptop so all attention would be on you. “You can talk to me about whatever, okay…? I understand how you feel. I’ve been there before Y/n. It’s not easy to get out of but you can do it. I know you can” his words made you melt, providing comfort and warmth with each one.
You told him everything about yourself, he collected all the information and stored it in his heart. “Why were they fighting? I’m assuming Tara’s therapy?” “Mhm, she’s been acting different” you mumbled, your arm holding up your head as you looked out the window. The air blew through your hair, the warm New York air bringing you comfort.
“Can I take you somewhere?” You could tell he was nervous when he asked you. “Depends on where you’re taking me” “You’ll see” Next thing you knew he had you climbing up some sort of small mountain, taking a look at your surroundings once you got to the top. “The Hollywood sign? Real original, Landry” he smiled as you teased him, sitting down on the dead grass below.
“I like it up here. You can see everything” Your head rested on his shoulder, Ethan placing his jacket around you. He was blushing as you looked up at him, a thankful expression on your face. “How long have you been coming here for?” “Maybe a year now, since we started talking” Your curiosity got the best of you, having to ask why.
“I needed to like…I guess remember you. How pretty you are and…uh, stuff” You held back a giggle, watching as he stumbled over his words. “Cause you know! The view from here is so pretty…it’s pretty. Like you” he cleared his throat, thankful that the lights were off. If they were on you would’ve been able to see his red face, embarrassed at what he has just told you.
You found it so cute, pushing yourself closer to him, his arm gently wrapping around your waist. “Thanks, Eth, for everything. You’ve helped me so much…I” you held back on your words. You knew it was weird, to confess your love to him. Especially now, you had found someone who understood every part of you and you didn’t wanna risk getting that taken away.
“You…you what?” He gulped and you shook your head, trying to avoid the question. “Oh come on Y/n, you have to tell me now” “I can’t, it’s weird” he knew nothing you could say was weird. Even if it was a little, he would still validate you with his opinion.
“Just tell me” You shook your head, hiding your smile in his chest. “Okay, how about this? I’ll tell you something first?” “Okay, but it’s probably not as weird as my thing” he scoffed, his nose taking in the soft scent of your shampoo.
The silence killed you, even if it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. Your heart pounded harder with each second that went by, hoping it was the same thing you wanted to say. “I love you, Y/n. I know I do” his eyes were closed tightly, looking at him in amusement.
"You do?" "Yea, I'm sorry" A scoff fell from your lips, pulling him by his collar down to yours. He followed your rhythm, lips latching on perfectly to each other. He tasted so sweet, and gentle. like his personality.
"I love you too" he scanned your face with a smile, grabbing your jaw gently before taking you in for another kiss. "How do you feel now?" you bit back your lip, holding a smile. "I'm happy Eth, you make me happy"
“Think I forgot, how to be happy. Something I’m not, but something I can be. Something I wait for, what was I made for?” - Billie Eilish <33
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dreaming-of-lu · 4 months
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Continuation to this ask
CW: Self-deprecation (in Sky’s part)
Part 1
Part 2 of 3 (Warriors, Four, Sky)
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Warriors
The captain usually kept his head high on his shoulders, never once drooping or faltering. He was a proud man, sometimes occasionally getting in over his head, but it was inevitable since he was just like the other men who all shared the same namesake and wielded the triforce of courage on the back of their hands. Brothers in arms that he admired for their strength in places he lacked, which they made up for.
Chosen hero or not, he was still a Hylian; there were days when he didn't want to listen to others. Consistently, he wanted to not exist as the captain and be a stranger to all so he could breathe. There were regrets, deep ones indeed. Ones that scarred harshly, but were invisible to the eyes.
"Ya know," a form blocked his view of the sun, "looking directly into the sun for too long can destroy your retina." “Oh?” he blinked away the dryness that took place, splotches of colors danced in his vision; his voice limp, “I hope so.” “...Hey, what’s wrong?” The frown was evident in their voice, making him wince lightly at the worried tone. He shifts in his spot, avoiding the question as he faintly picks at the scar on his left arm. Warriors jolt when they softly grabbed his hand, pulling it away slowly and carefully that made him huff at the gentleness they gave him. He kept avoiding their eyes, not once looking in their direction, “Don’t wanna talk about it...please,” he muttered.
“You don’t have to at all; want me to leave?”
“No,” he swallowed thickly, “stay here with me?”
“Of course, darling.”
Sky
“I honestly don’t want to be here right now,” Sky looked up from his carving at the sudden proclamation that left your lips. His brows furrowed when you didn’t say anything else after that; he never thought words like that would ever leave your lips, it sort of scared him a little and he felt a cinch in his chest. You were, well, not new that’s for sure to him, but to the others, you were new to the group.
He knew you all too well on the back of his hand, your likes and dislikes. Your dreams and hopes. He knew it all and he cherish them as much as he cherished you. Though, seeing you like this and hearing you sound so...broken, made his lip quiver.
“Why...why’s that?” He asked softly, keeping his voice calm to hide the wavering in it.
You weakly shrugged your shoulders, “Just felt like it. I could be too much in my head right now or hell, overthinking a bunch of dumb shit I said in the past. Ma’s probably pissed at me right now, deeming with the words that she said in the letter to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love being with you guys and all, but there’s only so much shit I can handle at this point and- look at me, complaining about this to you.”
You covered your face with your hands, a helpless watery laugh left you, “I’m fucking pathetic, aren’t I?”
Sky sets the carving and knife aside; settling his body down next to you while taking his sailcloth and putting it over you. His hand ran through your hair as he struggled to keep himself in check for you,
“You aren’t pathetic at all. You’re so strong whether you realize it or not. I get how you feel in a sense; it’s okay to feel, you know? It’s okay to cry. I- We don’t expect you to carry the entire world on your shoulders alone that’s what we’re here for.” “But it’s not fair to co-” “I’m going to stop you right there,” Sky interrupts you, “you are human. Your feelings are valid.”
He breathed in through his nose and slowly exhaled out his mouth, “I don’t expect you to be a hero at all, you know? You’re such a talented, beautiful and kind soul that I’ve ever met in my life. I love hearing the stories you paint to us, I love the songs you sing that I never heard of before. I love how you feel and- and just being honest to us while lending an ear. You don’t give yourself a lot credit than you realize.”
It’s silent between you, save for the chirping of birds and the running of water nearby. You piped up,
“Sky?” 
“Hmm?”
“You’re such a sweetheart.” “So are you.”
Four
Four usually wouldn’t share his mind with anybody within the chain, he kept more so to himself. While yes, he shared ideas or theories with the others, the rest? Hidden. Locked under key and away from sight. Though when it came to you? It’s a dam spilling over; you don’t got to understand what he’s saying, just listening is enough to make him goop.
He could ramble all about the different metals and hijinks that exist all day to you if given the chance. He would flush slightly under your gaze and attention that stayed on him as he continued to shoot off thoughts to you. He always wanted it on him; selfish a bit? You could say that. Yet, why did he curl today under your sight on him? 
He tried so hard to avoid you, not once even glancing or speaking in your direction; just curt answers to others and putting up a wall to distance himself from the group. He was tired, not willing to mentally argue with himself as flashes of dark memories rose in numbers in his mind. There was bags under his eyes that’s for sure from the sleepless nights, the slump in his shoulders were more visible than ever, and for this, he failed at dodging you.
“Rupee for your thoughts?” you sounded timid when you settled next to him.
“...There are none,” he shrugged.
“Oh...i-is it something I’ve done or have said that might’ve upset you?” Goddesses, you were picking at your fingers; a nervous tick he figured out, but seeing you be anxious at the thought of him being upset at you? It didn’t sit right with his stomach.
“Goodness, no!” he splutters, “it’s just...been a rough time, I guess.”
You slumped in relief, “how bad?”
“...bad enough,” he mutters.
“Do you want me to give you some alone time?”
“No, just you is enough for me.”
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bluerthanvelvet444 · 14 days
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˚ ♫ ⋆。˚𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻˚ ♫ ⋆。˚
(Kit Walker x fem!reader)
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tags: fluff!
warnings: mentions of torture, swearing, use of Y/N.
summary: this fic is based on this request!
character count: 6k.
full fic under the cut ↓
₊˚⊹⁠♡————— ⁠♡ —————♡⊹⁠˚₊
When you first heard about him, the mere thought of the things he was capable of doing sounded repulsive to you. He hadn't even walked into Briarcliff, yet everyone already despised him. Most of the people in that hellhole weren't pure or without sin, although they judged like they were the divine Lord himself. You had to admit, it was horribly wrong and fucked up to kill 3 women, including your wife, decapitating them and using their skin as a mask. You even knew that the devil could be hiding under the most beautiful facade, but still, something inside of you when you first saw him, told you that Kit Walker couldn't have possibly been the tremendous Bloody Face. Maybe it was Briarcliff that with its influence was able to turn sane people completely mad, but you swore that when Kit Walker's eyes met yours for the first time, the world's colors lit up and a lovely R&B melody started ringing in your ears.
♫ Hold me… ♫
Wondrous brown eyes, as sweet as chocolate and as tough as Mahogany wood, piercing into yours, communicating something for which words weren’t enough.
♫ Kiss me… ♫
Furrowed brows showing a glimpse of the frustrating confusion, due to the previous merciless treatment, and the feeling of repulsion for the load of inhuman madness confined in those walls.
♫ Whisper sweetly… ♫
For a second you were brought by your imagination to a different reality, you fantasized about what life would be like if you were in your cushy house, vacuuming your beige carpet, as your beloved husband Kit just came home from work. You would wrap your arms around him, welcoming him in an intimate embrace, as he reciprocated and maybe pecked your lips softl-
But no. That was far from reality. This thought and the vexatious notes of the song “Dominique” made you snap back from your thoughts. You observed as he made its way towards you. That caused an almost instant blush to burn on your cheeks, as he was now standing in front of you.
“Can ya move?” He spoke with a deep raspy voice.
You realized you were blocking the access for him to sit on one of the chairs. Before you could mutter out a response, a random guy started provoking Kit, causing his rude response that led to a fight between the two.
₊˚⊹⁠♡————— ⁠♡ —————♡⊹⁠˚₊
You quietly made your way towards the cell where they kept him after the conflict. Creating a mediocre distraction, you managed to steal the keys from Sister Mary Eunice’s grip. Discreetly opening the door, you sneaked in. The first thing you saw was Kit Walker’s perplexed expression as he inspected you while squirming inside the straitjacket.
“Shhh…It’s okay…I’m not one of them.” You hushed him softly.
“Whaddaya want?” He spoke in a brusque manner.
“I just wanna talk…I’m Y/N.” You cooed.
He looked at you up and down, keeping on alert.
“Kit, Kit Walka’...I think ya already know that, dontcha?”
“Yes…Everyone talks about you, most in a bad way, uhm…But I don’t believe the things they say…” You said looking down.
“Is that so?” He raised an eyebrow.
“I mean…I heard your story just…not from you. And I-I know for a fact that most of the backstories of the souls that live here are, well, made up… fake. There’s more innocent people than you think.” You shrugged, sitting down next to him.
“I’m listening. What’s yer story, suga’?” He nodded.
You felt your cheeks burn and started speaking.
₊˚⊹⁠♡————— ⁠♡ —————♡⊹⁠˚₊
Time had passed in the asylum, and surprisingly, you didn’t feel so miserable anymore. He made everything fall back into place. When you two shared your stories, it was clear that you were both victims of a giant mistake, your pasts being more pure than the ones of the people who locked you two there. You and Kit kept spending more and more time together, you had grown to be inseparable, always together. You felt suffocated when he wasn’t around, only the blues playing in your ears. Who knew you could find love inside such a cruel building?
It almost felt like life in Briarcliff could be normal, thanks to him. But, of course, that was only imaginary.
You sneaked in his cell, again. Your cheeks burning, not out of embarrassment this time, but because of the salty tears that kept rolling on them. His generosity was both a blessing and a flaw, something that you loved and despised, because it led to dishonesties like these. When you both tried to escape and got caught, he took all the blame on himself, gaining 40 lashes.
You hurried towards his bed, sinking onto your knees and breaking down into sobs.
“I-I’m so sorry!” You kept repeating, your voice cracking.
He smiled softly and caressed your hair.
“Ya got nothin’ to apologize for, suga’. It wasn’t yer fault.” He grunted as he sat up, his body still hurting. He reached to cup your face, and aligned his eyes with yours, so that he could look into them with his lovely gaze.
“Hey now…don’t cry, darlin’. I’m here, we’ll get through this togetha’, yes?” He spoke sweetly. Your arms weakly wrapped around his neck.
“I-I can’t do this anymore, Kit…I hate this place-” You cried.
“Shhh…” He wiped your tears away with his thumb and pecked your nose gently.
“I know, I know it’s hard and ya wanna leave…and I promise we will. We’re gonna leave this shithole soon…then we’ll be finally free.” His words melted your heart.
“...Will we live together?” You looked up at him with teary eyes.
“Yea, of course we will, darlin’.” He smiled.
“Like a normal couple?” Your words seeked his comfort.
“Yes, suga’. We will be a normal couple with a normal life. Whaddaya say?” He asked, to which you nodded.
“You know I’m gonna marry ya as soon as we get out of here, suga’?” His words made a faint blush rise on your face.
“Really?” You batted your lashes at him.
“Yea. I wanna marry ya. I wanna have babies with ya. I wanna do everything with ya by my side. And ya wanna know why? Because I love ya, darlin’.” He wrapped his strong arms around you, while connecting your lips in a soft gentle kiss. You kissed back, mumbling a quiet “Love you too” against his lips that moved in sync with yours.
So you stayed there, his comforting and strong arms wrapped around you and his hand running in your hair as your bodies were pressed up in a tight intimate embrace. Your eyelids started to feel heavy, as you fighted the urge to fall asleep.
“It’s only me and ya, togetha’.” He whispered soothingly in your ear.
“Foreva’.” He added, his lips pressing against your temple sweetly.
You smiled tiredly, as you heard his words and the soft melody playing again.
♫ Hold me, kiss me,
Whisper sweetly
That you love me
Forever. ♫
₊˚⊹⁠♡————— ⁠♡ —————♡⊹⁠˚₊
taglist: @cxndiedvi0lets @angeldollw @dangeroustaintedflawed @marchsfreakshow @yandereunsolved @happy74827 @evpeters87
a/n: aaahhhh I'm sorry this is so short😭 I'm so busy lately!! but anyways, i hope you like it.🧡
all rights reserved!!
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olenvasynyt · 8 days
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I don’t listen to Taylor Swift but here’s my analysis of Guilty As Sin? being Elucien coded
I am not saying SJM posting this song on her story is a sign that Elucien is endgame or that Elain’s book is next, this is just my interpretation of a song and it is not based in fact!  I also don’t know TS lore or her dating history, I only know about the football guy, and Matty Healy because I’m ex-The 1975 fan
Drownin' in the Blue Nile He sent me "Downtown Lights" I hadn't heard it in a while
Downtown Lights by The Blue Nile is one of Matty Healy’s favorite songs and a verse from that song is this:
“Sometimes I walk away When all I really wanna do Is love and hold you right There is just one thing I can say Nobody loves you this way It’s alright”
If I were to relate this to ACOTAR, this is reminiscent of the stairs moment when Lucien is leaving to find Vassa and an army and we can see this longing and affection for Elain but he walks away.  Sometimes I walk away when all I really wanna do it love and hold you right.  I think we are going to see her POV of that moment and I feel like it is going to be very prevalent in Elain’s book because Elain takes a half-step.  What does that half step mean?
My boredom's bone-deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry? I dream of crackin' locks
This could be about how Elain is being kept in a box in the Night Court, about how she might have been trying to love it before but she wants to get out, it’s not the right place for her.  She does not fit in the Night Court, we see this when she wears black and it sucks the life out of her.
Crashin' into him tonight, he's a paradox I'm seeing visions Am I bad or mad or wise?
Elain sees visions.  And people also suspect that she could be seeing visions of Lucien.
What if he's written "Mine” on my upper thigh only in my mind?
Mine is a song by The 1975 and this song is about commitment and questioning what’s right and having this assurance that love is right.
Looking back on 2009 When people said that it was raining all the time I see sunshine 'cause I know that you are mine
“No, we saw rain, you guys weren’t right for each other, but he still sees sunshine, because I know that you are mine.”  This also reminds me of when Lucien says in his head “I am yours and you are mine”. 
I'm slippin', fallin' back into the hedge maze Oh, what a way to die
This could be about Elain struggling to navigate her thoughts and the visions she is probably still having but pushing down.  She might be better at controlling them but her control is slipping.
I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trips Without ever touchin' his skin How can I be guilty as sin? I keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault
Again, as I and many people talked about before, Elain could be having feelings of attraction and affection towards Lucien, her mate, but she is shoving it down.  
We've already done it in my head, if it's make-believe Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?
People often headcanon that Elain is having sexual feelings and maybe even sexual visions of Lucien.
And the vow is the vow of accepting the mating bond and she feels guilty of that.
My bed sheets are ablaze I've screamed his name Buildin' up like waves crashin' over my grave Without ever touchin' his skin How can I be guilty as sin?
Again, we get this idea that Elain could be having attraction towards Lucien.  And we got fire imagery too!
What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly I choose you and me religiously
It’s people saying “you guys are wrong for each other.  You are wrong, you guys don’t fit together”.  We see this with Feyre questioning why her and Lucien are mates, Nesta yelling at Lucien, saying “we’ll decide what she needs”.  A lot of people don’t think Elucien are right for each other but Elain could be thinking “we are right” but she is too influenced by other people’s opinions that she doubts herself.  “But what if she chooses him?  What if she rolls the stone away, officially bringing to life the feelings she could have for Lucien?
They don’t know how you have been haunting me so stunningly I choose you and me religiously
Lucien has been haunting her, and Elain decides to choose him.
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absolutewhore101 · 2 months
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Should've Said No - Chapter 4
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A/N: sorry this one is so late! last week got busy very quickly, and i just didn't have the time to sit down and write this. i hadn't originally planned on writing this chapter, but the idea hit me in the car while i was driving earlier, so here we are. (hint at next chapter at the very end!)
Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Summary: Listen to 'Should've Said No' by Taylor Swift
Warnings: swearing, assholery
Word Count: 733 words
Chapter 3 / Chapter 5
MINORS DNI
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Joel’s head slowly turned back to face you, a fire in his eyes you’d never seen directed at you.
Before he could open his mouth, you started talking again. 
“Can you believe Joel? Everything we used to have - the songs, the smiles, the flowers - it’s all gone! All because you couldn’t keep it in your pants!”
“Is that all?”
“God, ugh! I just… I can’t even look at you.”
“Look, I’d take it back if I could. It was a moment of weakness and we both know that. Hell, what was I supposed to do?!”
“You should’ve said no! You should’ve thought twice, maybe with more than just your dick! I should’ve been there, right in the back of your mind, and I shouldn’t be standing here asking myself why the fuck you’d do this!”
Joel took a step forward, but Tommy stepped in the middle of you two.
“I wouldn’t get much closer to her.” He said, voice low. 
“Oh for the love of god, Tommy. You knew, too! Don’t stand here and try to play hero when you knew damn well what was going on.”
“And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Tommy said, turning to face you, “but it wasn’t my place to say anything. That was between you and Joel, not me. I’m sorry.”
“No. No you don’t get to be sorry. Joel might’ve done this to me, but you didn’t even try to help. You could’ve tried talking to him, you could’ve stopped him, you could’ve just told me! But instead you let this go on, knowing how much it would hurt me.”
Tommy’s eyes landed on the ground in front of your feet, his hands on his hips.
When he looked up again, tears were streaming down your cheeks. 
“Baby, c’mon…” Joel trailed off. 
You shook your head, taking a step back from the two of them. 
“Do you honestly expect me to believe that we could ever be the same? After everything you put me through?” 
Joel shook his head. “We don’t gotta be the same, we just gotta work through this and come out better on the other side. We can do that, can’t we?”
“No. You should’ve known that I would’ve found out eventually. I’m not stupid, y’know. Even if you hadn’t been so obvious about it, someone would’ve told me eventually.” 
“Was she worth it?” Tommy said, breaking the tense silence that had settled between the three of you.
“Excuse me?” Joel answered. 
“Tommy.” You said sternly. “This isn’t your place, you’ve made that pretty clear.”
“Might not be my place, but that doesn't mean I can’t ask him what the hell he was thinking.” Tommy turned around to face Joel, stepping into his space. 
Joel held his eye, bringing his arms up to cross his arms over his chest. 
“You wanna do this right now? Right in front of her?” 
“I don’t think I’m the one who deserves an apology.”
Joel’s jaw clenched, slowly nodding his head. 
“I don’t think she wants to hear my apology. Do you?”
You thought about it. An apology wouldn’t undo what he did, but wouldn’t it give you some kind of closure? Or was your closure the end of your relationship?
You shrugged your shoulders. “Well, it certainly wouldn’t hurt.”
You gave him a smug smirk, watching him shake his head. 
“I’m sorry.” He said. “I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway. Happy?”
“No. But as long as you don’t step foot in my house again I will be.”
Tommy nodded his head. 
“You can move into a new house tomorrow. Why don’t you stay with Carly tonight? I’m sure she’d love it.” Tommy gave him a smirk, watching Joel’s hands clenched into fists by his side.
Joel stalked off without another word, heading for the house just a few down from your own. 
“Motherfucker.” You muttered, and Tommy chuckled. 
Tommy looked over his shoulder at you, something akin to sympathy in his eyes. 
“Can I walk you home?”
“Absolutely not. You’re not off the hook just because you made a stand against Joel. It’s gonna take a lot more than that if you ever want to be friends again.” You told him, pushing past him and walking towards your house. 
As you closed your front door behind you, you couldn’t help but ask yourself - why couldn’t he just be a better man?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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