sorry for not posting for so long guys, the allegations are actually true and ive been doing hard drugs for the past 1 month and been drunk off my ass. i also swallowed my drawing pencil and visited the hospital in a clown car where i paid the bill for 10 billion dolars. send your best wishes🙏
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Matsuhana, after a really intense Karaoke session or Arcade showdown, just chilling:
Mattsun: We should bring Oikawa and Iwaizumi here for a double date next time.
Makki: Wait, they're finally dating??
Mattsun: No of course not, they're denser than a brick wall. But... (insert guess-what-I'm-about-to-say look)
Makki, smirking but waiting for Mattsun to cook: ... You're onto something, spill it.
Mattsun, with a devilish grin: Simple, we don't tell them it's a double date. We tell them that it's a hangout and then just drag them to our regular places and make everybody else think that it is one. 0+1 is still 1, so it's a double date.
Makki, imagining Iwaoi at a french cafe while the workers eye them with the all-knowing-look: This is why I love you.
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Iwaizumi: I can’t believe we have to be stuck in this room together!
Oikawa, swallowing the key: Truly unfortunate.
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I’m sorry if somebody has already done this…
What Kageyama meant: Teach me how to serve mY CoUntRy
Or teach me how to surf:
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haikyuu!! as things my friends and I have said
Some of these were edited a little to make more sense in Haikyuu context :]
Tendou: Coach Washijo has to let us summon Satan in the middle of practice.
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Atsumu: Why v@pe when you can suck watermelon lollipops?
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Terushima: You cannot aggressively beat the Camila Cabello out of me
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Shirabu: Some people should be shot, but some people get to be president again, ha ha ha.
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Tendou: My insanity would probably be the most potent drug in the world
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Oikawa: I’m a homosexual, heheheheheh
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Nishinoya: See, you can achieve greatness even with short legs
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Tendou: Arson is good. It’s a great pastime. Like, bored? Go burn down a building!
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Hinata: BYE DAICHI-SAN
Daichi: I’m not for sale
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Shirabu: I feel like a spear went through my head right here (points to middle of forehead) and came out at the back here
Tendou: I’M A UNICORRRN
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Ukai Keishin: (spectating Karasuno antics) Some people end up in the zoo
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Kageyama: (on the way to the training camp) oh my god I will EAT the next traffic light that turns red
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Semi: What about you? Don’t you say that you eat children?
Tendou: I mean I do but that’s different because I’m a human
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Nishinoya: ROLLING ON THE FLOOR GOING FERAL CRUNCHING ON THE FLATSCREEN TV LIKE A MEIJI CRACKER
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Ushiwaka: I am at Daiso. Need anything?
Tendou: sanity
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Sakusa: Are you fucking dumb?
Atsumu: Yeah, how’d ya know?
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Tanaka: I’LL KILL YOU ALIVE— oh wait crap I made myself sound stupid again
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Yaku: one more time Lev makes a height joke will rip off all of his hair and then shout ‘WIG SNATCHED’ really loud
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Tendou: I’ll bring you on a date night in Paris
Ushiwaka: what?
Tendou: what?
•••
Kyoutani: I have this urge to bite people. But not in a sexual way, just NOM
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