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thevirgincherry · 5 months

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LOVEY-DOVEY !

ft. leon s. kennedy x fem!reader

tags. ddlg, daddy dom/little girl duhh, leon feeling guilty for no reason, age gap, princess parts used once, an abundance of pet names, honestly just icky sappy smut, typical stuff like penetration n oral, praise kink

note. haiii :3 so insanely embarrassed to post this it’s insanely icky and soft for me .. but ignore typos as always :333 rbs n feedback greatly appreciated :33 crossposted on my ao3 clitkiss as usual, this is like very.. ddlg like he dresses u at one point but it’s only mentioned briefly

stocking filler

You and Leon are trying something new. Now, he’s no stranger to it, his moonlight trysts with Pornhub show that he’s an expert at it in fact. But that was back in his late twenties. Op in Spain made his brain go funny, and maybe it’s ‘cause Ashley is the perfect subject for it - DDLG that is. She batted her lashes up at, clung to his arms, and she needed him, relied on him. In turn, he spent his days balls deep in videos like Daddy’s Little Girl Punished For Staying Up Past 8 PM, and even classier ones like Big Cock Daddy Fucks Tiny Tit Teen Girlfriend Till She Squirts (ANAL + THROATFUCKING)! Even the occasional Step-Daughter Chokes On Step-Daddy’s Fat Cock While Mommy Sleeps! Very tasteful, very nuanced, very discreet. So yeah, not to brag, but Leon’s kind of a porn connoisseur. Dabbled in every category.

The DDLG thing got boxed up and shelved away quick. Made him feel guilty, post-nut clarity set in the second he’d milked himself dry. Then he’d lay there for hours with a sticky palm and a heavy heart. Hasn’t thought about it in years, these days Leon’s more into Busty Dom Mommy Pegs Scrawny, Ugly, Sissy Slut In Business Suit! and if he’s really feeling up for it Stupid Fucking Bitch Takes Two Dicks At Once! The titular bitch actually only took one dick at a time despite the two dicks present, quite misleading in his humble opinion. No more creepy daddy stuff though. Those days are over; he hasn’t thought about it in twenty years give or take. Claire sent him this ‘Get porn sites taken down for women blah blah blah’ petition, he signed it, clicked out of the tab and got down to watching some silly slut get fucked within an inch of her life.

It’s more of a boredom thing. Honest. Leon watches porn to fill in gaps of space throughout his day; he nods his head thoughtfully when the man so affectionately titled Blue-Collar Bear slams into the Preppy Spoiled Twink. This is all getting away from him, the point is, Leon hasn’t thought about the dreaded topic of DDLG for literal decades. Then you walk in, and Leon’s sat there listening to you prattle on about Pompompurin and Chococat, an entire lineup of characters that he now knows off by heart.

Oh, is that right, sweetheart? Cinnamoroll’s a puppy, not a bunny? Wow, I didn’t know that, baby, fascinating ain’t it? Miffy‘s from the Netherlands, god, she’s gotta be careful over there in Amsterdam, honey. They don’t call that place Sin City for no reason, the red light district is no joke. Oh, I see, she’s from Utrecht? Ah, guess she’s safe then, I’m glad. What’s her name? That’s your favourite, Cogimyun? That’s a mouthful, ain’t it? She looks like a cloud. No? She's not? She’s a what-? Made of wheat flour? Oh! Well, that’s real funny, baby. Bet she don’t do well on windy days.

You don’t tell him outright. But he knows. Leon tries to tell himself that you’re just like this, that you buy cutesy, girly stickers to make yourself happy, that you fill his bedroom with soft toys ‘cause you simply like ‘em, turn them around when you fuck as a joke. But it’s clear, the headspace you’re left in after sex gives it away, haven’t let the D word slip so far, Leon’s banking on it being soon though.

He pets your head before you leave the house one day, you beam up at him, apples of your cheeks rounded with how hard you're smiling. “Love you, daddy!” You chirp all too loudly, jaw dropping open a moment later at your own blunder. Then you skitter out the front door unnervingly like a deer with CWD.

Called it. Made a bet on it even. Leon takes fifty out of his savings account, owes it to himself. You looked awful upset, he sends you a message, tells you to be safe, text him when you meet your friends. You do. Somehow, even the message is clipped. Poor baby, you’re embarrassed. The colour had drained from his face when you said it. You’d noticed for sure.

You’re younger than him, much younger. Too many years younger. An age gap that makes his head spin. Leon tries not to dwell on it, but it gets real hard. Claire’s always down his throat about it. When you go out in public together, he’ll sneak a hand in your back pocket and get stared down by every passer-by. He’s been asked if he’s your dad before. Blow to his ego. Considered botox and filler for the entirety of the following week. Certainly not your dad, possibly your daddy. Now you’ve cemented that in place - you want Leon to be your daddy, and he’ll fill those shoes.

Even if it leaves a bad taste on his tongue, even if it makes his skin crawl. Leon is willing to lay down his life for you half of the time, best thing that ever happened to him, so what harm is a little DDLG gonna do? He just needs to get comfortable with it, refamiliarise himself with all the lingo. How hard could it be? The guilt? He can get over it, even if it clings to him like a festering scab.

When you come back home it’s late, he barely hears your footsteps. You’ve learnt how to make yourself scarce when returning on late nights, Leon’s a light sleeper. A jumpy one at that. He smells jasmine when you pull back the covers, the mattress dips and he turns to face you.

“Fuck!” You gasp, brows pinched together, he runs his thumb over the divot that’s formed between them. “You scared me, Leon.”

“Not that ugly am I?” He juts his bottom lip out, it pulls a laugh out of you, and that makes him smile. You were emanating gloom and doom the second you stepped into the bedroom. Clear skies now.

“Never, you’re sooo handsome.” You kiss the tip of his nose, smear pink Vaseline on it.

“You know just what I wanna hear, don’t you, baby?” Apart from daddy. He’d make the joke, but you’d likely flip out. Leon shuts his mouth. He’s gotten better at doing that lately. Must be the effect you’ve had on him. “Baby?”

“Yes?”

“About today—“

“Leon.” It’s a warning.

“Baby.”

“Leon.” Clearly you want to brush it under the rug. “It was just a slip-up, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, so can we just drop it?” Uh, woah, someone’s defensive.

“Baby, it didn’t make me uncomfortable,” Leon strokes your cheek, his cold hands warmed by the heat of your dewy skin. It made him mildly uncomfortable. That’s ‘cause he grapples with all these I’m a dirty old man that deserves to be crucified, Claire’s right I’m a fucking cradlerobber, I should let her go, I’ll be dead by the time she’s ready to get married thoughts. You’re this pretty young thing and it makes him tremendously nervous.

“I saw your face, Leon, I’m not stupid.” You’re getting huffy now, fluffing the pillows and turning away from him.

“Babe, I was just surprised, pinky promise.” Leon sticks his pinky finger into your line of sight, there’s silence, then the sheets ruffle and you’ve lifted your hand, shorter pinky wrapping around his.

“Like, pinky swear, Leon?” You sound so small, so scared, his heart aches.

“Baby,” he coos, “light of my life, angel, apple of my fuckin’ eye, sugar, dollface,” you hang onto every word, eyes getting bigger and wider by the second, “I knew the minute you showed me those Sylvanian Families.” You smack his chest and he laughs in your face.

“You’re an asshole and I hate you so much.” When he touches your cheek again, you’re burning up, he places a kiss behind your ear. “Stupid old man.”

“C’mon, baby, you think I’m dumb? You gave them names.” The Persian Cat triplets are named Serena, Nate and Blair. From Gossip Girl of course, he didn’t know what that was. Tedious is his review. Leon thought Henry, Tommy and Jimmy were more fitting names. You didn’t understand the reference. “You buy ‘em little plates and forks and cups, they’re living better than us, baby.” And that’s a fact. You splurged on a Red Roof Country House. Far nicer than his apartment, once empty, now filled with junk like that. No, it’s not junk, it’s his baby’s stuff, trinkets that make her happy.

“What if I just liked them?” You’re glaring at him, cutely of course, everything you do is saccharine.

“Just adds up, don’t it?” Leon gives you a big, wet kiss on your pouty lips. Tastes roses. Literally. He just swallowed a bunch of pink Vaseline. “What I wanted to say ‘fore you got all pissy on me,” he swallows the lump in his throat, fuck it, how bad could it go, he’s just making his favourite girl happy, “I don’t mind tryin’ it out.”

Rules are implemented the following morning, albeit loosely. Leon doesn’t have a lot of control over things, the DSO has jurisdiction over him, got him by the balls. And in turn, Leon’s just learnt how to take it like a good bitch. You handed him a pink glitter pen and a page from your Hello Kitty notebook. Asked him so sweetly to make a general set of rules, so you know how to be a good girl for daddy. Leon sprung a boner so fast he got nauseous. And that’s not even the sex part of this arrangement. He uses his black ballpoint pen, pink glitter isn’t his thing. Plus, it doesn’t show up on the paper.

You giggle when he hands them over to you; Leon’s ears flush pink. He’ll get better at it, swear. He wants to do well for you. Wants you to feel satisfied with his quote caregiving unquote.

It starts off slow, you hand him your toothbrush in the morning, Leon blinks at you in pure and utter befuddlement. You say Ah! like you would at the dentist and he gets it. Leon sits you on the closed lid of the toilet seat, making sure to get your molars, your canines, front teeth, and all the remaining ones. Five seconds each. Or he tries at least. You’re quite meticulous in this headspace, letting out a disgruntled noise when he fails to be precise.

Then you sit on the mat while he showers, like a puppy, didn’t even notice you were there until he opened the sliding door. “Hi there, babydoll.” Leon wraps a towel around his waist, “whatcha doin’ down there?”

“Waiting for daddy.” You tell him plainly, then trail after him as he gets ready. Right. He’s gotta pick out your clothes. What if you don’t like them? You’re so fussy with your style, spend hours tossing piece after piece out of the wardrobe, stomp your feet when the blouse you wanted to wear is in the laundry. Right now, you’re totally placid, lifting your arms when he asks as he puts you in a ribbed pink sweater and the frilly skirt you’re so fond of, knee high socks per usual, Mary Janes to finish it off. Oh. Yeah. This is bad. He’s in deep. You’re too cute. He thinks he wants to be your daddy forever.

“My dad’s been wanting to see you, Leon.” Ashley’s all grown up now, which makes him feel a bit sappy. Hypocritical really, he’s got a college girl back at home calling him daddy.

Dad… Daddy, I love you, when are you coming home?

Leon blinks to clear his mind, gives Ashley a plastic smile. “How’s he been?”

“Oh, you know how it is, he got a little sick over Halloween, but that guy, he’s always up and kicking.” Ashley brings a vanity out of her pocket, reapplies her lipstick. “Overall, he’s been good.”

Good girl, am I a good girl, daddy?

Jesus Christ, get a grip, man. “I’m glad, should take a rest that guy.”

“I know!” Ashley moves her plate to the side and lays out her entire makeup case on the table, picking out mascara. When he looks closely, her round mirror is printed with a vaguely familiar cartoon bunny. “He never listens, hasn’t been President for decades and he just works and works and works. That’s why you should call, tell him to take it easy.”

“What’s her name?” Leon frowns, jabs his thumb towards the compact.

“My Melody!” She answers, grinning at him with her pearly whites.

My Melody, Kitty, Keroppi, and Mimi, did you write that down, daddy? And there’s—

“Aren’t you too old for that, Ash?” Leon raises his brow, he’s not serious though, and she can tell.

“Hey, I liked Sanrio before it was cool in 2004, okay?” She tosses it all back in her clutch. Ashley’s too nice, if it were Claire she’d bite back with Aren’t you too old for your girlfriend, loser? And that would shut him up. “It was nice seeing you, Leon, I wanna meet your girlfriend next time, she seems sweet. And don’t forget to call dad, I’ll drop his number later.”

Call dad… Daddy? Daddy.

“Leon, don’t you think Chris looks like our dad?” Claire’s hijacked the DSO break room once again, she’s in town for some TerraSave presentation thingy. He wasn’t listening. Eyes glassed over as he gazes endlessly at her phone screen.

Dad. Dada. Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy.

“Huh?” Leon says dumbly.

Claire levels him with her stare. “You’ve been out of it today, what’s up?”

“Nothing.” He shrugs nonchalantly, wipes his clammy palms on his jeans. “Just didn’t sleep well.”

“Uh huh.” Claire’s not convinced. Shit. She totally knows. She sees right through you, Leon. She knows what dirty shit you’ve been up to, can see the shame on your face, and she’s building her case against you. “Anyway,” she begins, voice holding onto it’s suspicious edge, “I was saying, I found this photo album of our parents, doesn’t Chris look so much like dad?”

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Fuck. He needs a lobotomy. Stat. This is taking over his fucking life. A sizable chunk of his brain was removed in his sleep, and it’s been replaced by pink mushy goo. Different to the pinkish brain matter that resides inside one’s head. More a glittery pink goop that morphs into the shape of you. You’re jumping around in there, sliding down the sulci and fissures in his brain, lodging yourself deep in his mind. Making it your playground.

“You’re fucking impossible to talk to, Leon. You know that?” What’d you say Claire? He can’t hear you over the impossibly disgusting, perverted thoughts running through his mind.

The second he gets home, Leon is on you. Face between your tits, knee keeping your thighs open, kissing you breathless. “Daddy!” You giggle, delighted by the wave of affection.

“Babydoll,” Leon rubs his stubble against your cheeks to hear you squeal, “Daddy missed you so much.”

“I missed daddy sooo much too!”

“Oh, yeah? How much did you miss daddy?”

You stretch your arms as wide as they go. “This much, daddy!” Fuck. Holy fucking shit. He needs to start going to weekly mass again.

“Yeah?” Leon peppers kisses all over your little face, forehead to your neck, “what’d ya get up to?”

“Mmm,” you hum, tapping a finger against your lip thoughtfully, “coloured, ate ‘n got sleepy, daddy.”

“What an eventful day that is, baby.” Leon kisses your nose. “You colour something for daddy?” He needs to put his dick in you before he explodes.

“Mhm,” your lashes flutter when he sneaks a hand up your loose sweater, hanging off your shoulders, swallowing you up, “I put it in daddy’s office…” Your breath hitches when he rolls your pebbled nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

“Daddy’s gonna hang it on the fridge tonight then.” Leon mumbles, too busy shoving his naughty hand down your pyjama shorts, cupping your mound. Your fingers tremble as you lift the hem of your sweater, baring your tits for him, he takes your nipple into his mouth. Bites down to hear you gasp. Latches on like a damn baby, groping the other tit roughly.

“Daddy,” you whimper, and the sound alone makes his dick twitch. Leon pulls off with a pop, spit dripping down his chin.

“I know, baby,” Leon coos, “daddy’s gonna take care of you.” Dirty old man! blares Claire’s voice in the back of his mind. Leon can’t find it in himself to care. Watch this, bitch. “You want daddy to play with your princess parts, babydoll?” You heard that right, princess parts. He’s been sucked in that deep.

You nod, brows pinched together as you bunch up the sheets in your curled fists. Leon clicks his tongue, presses a kiss below your belly button. “Words, baby.” He reminds you, his tone delicate, only lightly chiding.

“Need daddy… need him to play with me,” it’s barely a mumble, but Leon takes it. He knows how jumbled your head gets in this mindset. Poor baby, play with your clit and it turns you all stupid.

Leon gets to work. He’s been waiting for it all day, to get his mouth on this perfect cunt. He spreads you out, urges you to go wider, as far as you can. Licks over the fabric of your cotton panties, his nose nestled against your swollen clit, sucking on the wet patch on the gusset. The constant nudge of his nose against your clit is making you antsy, your chest rises and falls, your fingers itch to tug at his hair, but you’re an obedient girl so you keep them down by your sides. Clutch at the sheets till your nails break.

He continues to lick and suck at your leaky centre through the fabric for an eternity. You have your complaints, but you can’t say no to daddy. That’s, like, against the rules. So Leon has his fun, maybe a little too much fun. You let out a strained noise, and enough is enough, you’re being so good for him, so patient. His little girl deserves a treat. Once you’ve creamed your panties that is.

“God,” you toss your head back and melt when his tongue flattens over your bare folds, he’d thrown your panties into the laundry basket a minute prior, good aim.

“Hey, give me some credit, baby,” Leon takes a break from tongueing you down, “God’s not doing shit down here, it’s all your daddy.”

That makes you giggle. Then you call out daddy so sweetly his brain blanks. He spits on your sticky core, you’re wet enough, but Leon likes it sloppy, wants to feel your mess dripping down his chin. His teeth scrape your clit, pulls the hood back, kitten licks it, kisses it three times for good luck.

“Don’t cover your mouth, baby,” Leon places a big hand on your hip, holds you in place, “Daddy didn’t say you could do that.”

“Sorry… ‘M sorry, daddy,” you whine, the hand once clasped over your mouth falling limp, and you’re moaning like a fucking pornstar. He can’t handle it. That word does something to him, something evil and degenerate.

He pushes your cushiony lips together, pinches your clit when it sticks out, makes the nastiest sounds known to mankind. Messy eater. Schlurping, schmacking, gulping. What he’s gulping down? God knows. Two fingers slip into you, knuckle-deep, wriggle around, scissor you open, his palm mashed into your clit. Leon’s face is resting on your plush thigh, admiring his own handiwork. Your slick cunt, drooling all down his wrist, covered his face in it, now you're cumming in messy spurts.

“Atta girl,” Leon croons, lays it on thick with the praise ‘cause he knows you get shy about this, “that’s right, dollface, just let it all out for, daddy, huh?”

Panting, you curl into yourself, kick your legs a little when his nimble fingers find your sticky clit, he can feel you throbbing. “No more, daddy.” You beg, rubbed raw from the back-to-back orgasms.

“Too much, baby?” Leon’s hand comes to cop a feel, his nose pressing into the nape of your neck. “Can you get daddy off?”

The energy seems to zap back into you within an instant. You nod, head bobbing up and down like it should be doing on his dick. You love having your mouth full, keep his cock down your throat till you go numb. Suckle on it with pride and integrity. You gaze up at him with those eyes, heart-shaped pupils and all, blowjob eyes.

“How’d you want daddy?” Leon asks, you roll over, laying flat on your back, you want him like that? Alright, naughty girl. With your head between his meaty thighs, Leon guides his weeping tip past your swollen lips, you lap at the slit, collecting droplets of his precum on your tongue.

“Shit,” Leon gets out through gritted teeth, covers it with a cough, he shouldn’t really be saying bad words, not setting a good example for his baby. The suction is crazy, feels like he stuck his dick into the tube of a vacuum cleaner. Your cheeks hollow out as he thrusts his hips forwards, tip hitting the back of your throat, making you gag each time. Still take it like a champ though. You always do, his good fucking girl. “Doin’ so damn well, baby, makin’ daddy cum.”

Your little hand comes to rest on his abdomen, Leon eases up, lets his fat cock slip out of your mouth, he thinks you’ve had enough, but you go for his balls instead. Open your mouth wide as you try to fit ‘em in your mouth. “No chance, baby.” Leon smiles, patting your head, you lick along the seam and his dick is fucking throbbing. Hail fucking Mary. “Not gonna last, babydoll, can daddy fuck you now or ya need a break?”

You nod, he raises a brow, “No, daddy, I’m fine, daddy. Need daddy in me so bad.” You croak out, throat sore from the time spent with his cock lodged in your windpipe.

That makes him groan. The non-explicit dirty talk is fuckin’ weird, turns him on in ways he can’t explain. He loves when you avoid saying the word pussy, can’t say cock, makes it sound even dirtier. Maybe it’s the control aspect. You can’t say those words ‘cause daddy said so, ‘cause Leon said so.

His dick jumps the second he tries to slide in, bumps against your sensitive clit, shit, that hasn’t happened since he was twenty. Leon grabs your ankles, kisses one before he throws them over his shoulders, uses one hand to guide his dick to your sloppy hole and the other is intertwined with your smaller one. Tender, sappy, sweet. Oh, don’t make him tear up, princess. With age he’s softened up. For you Leon has softened up. Brought back part of who he was before it all went wrong.

“My pretty girl,” he pets your cheek like he does the neighbour’s well-fed cat, and you lean into it all the same. He fills you up so well. No matter how much Leon plays with your pussy, there’s always a stretch, and he can tell by the look on your face. Nose scrunching, lips parting, letting out a sharp breath as the weight of his cock knocks against your cervix. “All done, baby.” Leon tells you, and you open your eyes, sit up on your elbows to see where the two of you meet in a sticky, squelching embrace. “Well done, baby, you’re such a big girl, takin’ all of daddy, aren’t you?” Leon presses his hand down on your lower tummy, his cock angles upwards so he can hit that spongy spot deep inside, the one that makes you sob. “Is it there?”

The cry you let out is the confirmation he needs. He bullies his cock into you, fucks you rough ‘cause he loves you. Making love is for mornings, when you’re sleepy and pliant, nasty fucking is for after work. When he’s pent up, when you’ve been on his mind all day. Leon pulls out, only his tip keeping your cunt spread open, then he slams back in, and you begin to sniffle, squeezing his hand so tight you cut off his blood circulation.

“Daddy,” You drop his hand, nails clawing down his back, his lonely hand suffering from a severe case of pins and needles, “daddy, daddy, daddy— oh, daddy!” It’s the only thing you can say. Stuffed your cunt and your head is full of him too. Leon adores you. Prettiest girl in the whole world and you’re here speared on his cock. Dexterous fingers find your clit once more, helping you reach the edge.

“You can do it, baby, don’t worry, daddy’s here.” Leon dips his head down, kisses you and swallows up your sounds, stringy spit keeping the two of you connected. Red string of fate or whatever. “Daddy’s right here, daddy loves you.”

All it took was the L word, and you’re squirting. Pushing his cock out, dripping down his heavy balls, digging your nails into his back, chanting daddy like your life depends on it. And Leon can’t take it, he’s been ready to bust the second he got home, his stomach contracts, spills his seed into your wet cunt. Messy just how he likes it.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Leon lets his full weight drop on top of you.

You grunt softly, “Heavy, daddy.”

“Yeah, I know, gimme a second.” Leon grumbles, teeth tugging on your earlobe. “How’d you rate me? Five stars? Ten out of ten?”

You yawn into his hair, “Stop bein’ silly, daddy.”

#leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy smut #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x you #resident evil smut #resident evil x reader

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sebscore · 1 year

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TWITCH WAR

pairing: lando norris x driver!reader (brief cameos of charles and russell george)

warnings: swearing. rumplestiltskin. mention of george being a war criminal. wetting pants.

author’s note: not my best work, but this has been sitting in my drafts for too long. anyway, enjoy 💖

• • • • • • •

''Do I play with Y/N?'' Lando read the question out loud, seeing it in his comment section. ''Well, she always told me she was very good at like any kind of game and that she would kick my ass, but then I played with her and… let's say she's definitely not as good as me.'' The Brit bragged about his own skills, a smirk forming on his face.

He glanced at the incoming replies from the fans, enjoying their reactions. ''She asked to play together a few weeks ago and we did, but ever since then I haven't dared to play with her again,'' he grinned, ''whenever she asks me now, I just go offline.''

''Oh, she's gonna kill me when she sees this.'' He giggled like a schoolgirl.

She did in fact kill him when the clip of him talking shit was sent to her by fans and even other drivers. Not literally, that wouldn't be a good career move, but she took to Twitter to indirectly respond to Lando's ''claims''.

YourUsername: people, don't take the words of twinks seriously 😫

Y/N's clapbacks didn't stop there as she went live on Instagram not too long after Lando's Twitch stream. Fans obviously couldn't help but ask about the British driver.

''Do I still want to play with Lando? Nooo~ I don't want to stream with him anymore, I really don't.'' The grin on her face was a dead giveaway she was only teasing him. ''He's super bad, that Rumplestiltskin.''

''She called me Rumplestiltskin?'' Lando read the comment out loud, his eyebrows furrowed. ''What does that even mean?'' He couldn't really remember where the name came from, so he decided to look it up and was met with the character from Shrek.

He gave the camera an unimpressed look before moving on. ''You guys want to know a fun story about Y/N from our karting days?'' A smirk already appeared on his face.

''She was pushed off track by someone and she pissed her pants because of it.''

''It was water! I didn't wet my pants, oh my god!'' The driver exclaimed on stream, not believing that Lando actually told that story. ''We were like 9 years-old.''

''You know, Y/N, I think I also remember that.'' George chimed in, he had been amused by their little Twitch war ever since they started it.

She rolled her eyes upon George's words. ''Hey! It was probably you who pushed me off the track in the first place, you war criminal!'' Y/N clapped back at him.

''Anyway, Lando shouldn't be speaking at all when he still looks and talks like a 9 year-old.''

''Lando, should we invite Y/N to play with us?'' Charles asked the McLaren driver after seeing countless comments in his chat asking about the female driver.

The Brit loudly sighed, causing the Monégasque to burst out laughing. ''What's wrong, Lando?''

''Because of her, people keep asking me if I've hit puberty yet.'' He said, frustration audible in his voice, much to the entertainment of Charles and everyone else watching him.

Their ''beef'' came to an end when the media had started to pick up on their back-and-forths and tried to make it seem like the two close friends hated each other and that they would become a danger to each other on track.

''Are you worried that the words you and Y/N have exchanged over social media will have an effect on how the two of you perform on track?'' One reporter asked Lando in a press conference.

He shook his head. ''We're just joking around, honestly. We've been friends for a long time and we've always joked around with each other like this, so, no, it won't have an effect on track.'' He politely answered, slightly ticked off by the seriousness of it all.

Y/N had been placed into a different group for the press conference, where she was asked about their ''war''. ''There have been some harsh word exchanges between yourself and Lando Norris, are you two on good terms or is there some sort of bad blood?''

''Yeah, we hate each other,'' her sarcastic tone sticking out, ''that's why we voluntarily spent all that time together when we're not racing.'' Her answer gathered laughs from her fellow drivers and even some reporters.

''Also, when we're on the topic,'' she stated, ''just because Lando hasn't hit puberty, doesn't mean that I haven't.''

#f1 fic #f1 fics #f1 x reader #formula 1 fic #f1 x oc #lando norris x oc #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #formula 1 oc #formula one fics

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hrhmimieucliffe · 2 months

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You don't have to agree with my takes, but I just have to say this. (If you ship these ships, cool, whatever, just don't try and convince me to like them because I won't.)

"Mimi, why do you hate the Spiderdads and (whatever Miguel and Jessica's ship name is) ships?

(Is it motorfang? Is that Migs and Jessica's ship name? Sorry, as you can see, I clearly don't dabble in the shipping side of ATSV unless its about ghostflower, flowerbyte, or prowlerbyte, so I'm very uncultured.)

Me:

Like I can't emphasise enough how yall love to immediately turn a healthy male friendship into a "they're in love" thing, then complain we never get healthy male friendships in media. Same with him and Jessica, like are we forgetting these are MARRIED people, one who literally has a child already and another who is literally pregnant?? I don't mess with those ships at all.😭💀 They seem mad forced to me, imo.

I especially don't like how yall immediately turn Miguel into some alpha dom daddy over Peter or a submissive twink for Peter, like it's either one or the other, and it icks me. Idk if some of yall have kinks for brown men domming white twinks (especially in this case where neither are "twinks" and one is happilt married to the love of his life with a daughter, but it's... like, it just irks me. Another way that black and brown men are sexualised and fetishized imo.

I don't ship Miguel with anyone from the Spiderverse tbh. With a Spidersona, sure, but none of the established characters. There's just no one who seems compatible with him at all atm, and he doesn't seem to be in the right place rn for such a relationship. (Which is why it's fine if ppl ship him with their sonas for me, because at least their relationships would hopefully be healthy and fleshed out, but all the ATSV ships with Miguel seem highly forced, especially since he clearly qouldn't even be with anyone in the SS because of his OWN canon event theory and erasure of dimensions thing blah blah. He clearly would believe that even being with someone from a different dimension would probably mess things up, too.) Like some ppl really ship him with a piece of lego (lmfao nah lowkey that kills me), or even a hologram.

Okay, rant over - now yall can tell me how I hate ppl having fun and I'm just a boring stick in the mud. Ntm on me though, I have the flu rn and I'm feeling sick.

#across the spiderverse #atsv #spider man: across the spider verse #spiderman atsv #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara #spiderman across the spiderverse #miguel ohara #miguel atsv #spider man #spiderman #spider man atsv #my opinion #rant #miguel spiderman

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gunpowderraven · 10 months

Text

critical role: by someone that hasn’t seen any of it

hi so we recently got into dimension 20 and our friends have been tugging us towards critical role for a very long time at this point but we still haven’t watched any of it nor do we know all that much about anything that actually happens in it. however we do intend to actually start watching soon so we decided it was the perfect opportunity to make one of those ‘all the things i know about this thing i haven’t watched’ posts, show it to our critrole friends, and then actually get into critrole and be able to look back and laugh about it later

also the images are all sourced via friend so this is all one hundred percent no wiki no google knowledge, just from tumblr and discord convos and stuff. and some cast compilation videos that were very funny

update: we are now watching cr3! liveblog tag for silly lb -> #cr3 lb

vox machina

from left to right:

- i have literally no idea who the two halflings are. i’ve never seen them before in my life. what. uh. paladin and bard? im literally just guessing. who plays these characters. what

- grog? grug? this is travis’ pc maybe. also hypothesizing hes a half-orc barbarian or something similar? ive seen like one clip of him

- percival frederick von something something de rolo i think there’s a iii in his name as well, his name is long and very german but he does not have a german accent. or a french one. at separate times i have thought this character was german and french and then i heard him talk and was like. What. anyway i know he’s taliesin’s pc and he invented guns and is also possessed sometimes by big bird demon, and he has a nifty plague doctor mask. also tragic backstory. his entire family is dead i think. no mercy percy! he has a thing with vex? also his hair did a wilbur. the gay people on tumblr love this twink. i also think i love this twink

- vax’ildan! i think i may have actually spelled that right! half-elf? vex is his twin? and he’s... liam’s pc i think. yeah that’s it. he gives me angsty boy energy tho. not as much as percy but this boy has seen some shit. also he might be a rogue or a ranger who even knows. he looks like gay jon snow

- vex’ahlia which i definitely didn’t spell right. i think the next one is marisha’s pc so this one is... uh... laura? i think she’s the ranger actually. i think she has a bear. not like a gay bear like an actual animal bear. though it could be gay too i dunno. she has a think with percy. or everyone wants her to have a thing with percy. i genuinely can’t tell. anyway get that traumatized twink girl

- keyleth... marisha’s pc. some kind of spellcaster? maybe sorcerer? wild magic? she Also has a thing with percy maybe. or vex. or both. who even knows. everyone wants that twink. one time she threw herself off a cliff and turned into a goldfish and almost died and it was hilarious

anything else i know about this:

- there are evil bitches called the briarwoods and they might be vampires

- this is the one that got a tv show and might have also been the first critrole campaign idek

- d. ragons? chromia something. dragons. i hope i haven’t been lied to about the dragons. i hope there are actually dragons in this. there’s like a chromium something with dragon symbols tho

mighty nein

from left to right:

- mollymauk! ...tealeaf? another taliesin pc. the trans people like this one. i don’t know what their pronouns are. but theyre slaying every time i see them at any time. no idea what class but maybe a spellcaster?

- ...beau? i know her exclusively through lesbian ship art so i know her name is beau something bc that’s the ship names but i don’t know if that’s short for something. monk? no clue. also no clue who plays her either. maybe marisha?

- i have seen this character but i do not know their name. or anything else about them

- oh this is the sad wizard boy caleb widogast. he’s gay for essek thelyss (or something. i didnt spell that right) who is a npc i think. yeah. sad wizard. every time i see him he’s just being a wizard and sad. the gays love him too but he’s more of a distraught otter than a sad twink. maybe he and percy should start a club tho. also i think he’s played by liam

- i KNOW this character’s name i think it starts with s but i can’t remember for the life of me. scriv? scrat? no thats the rat from ice age. possibly a menace? i think im getting them mixed up with someone else. they look cool as hell though

- jester!! laura pc i think perhaps. i want to get drunk with her and tell her about all of my problems. yeah. i dont know anything about her actually. beaujester exists tho i know that

- YASHA. CRUSH ME HOLY FUCK. sorry im normal ? her voice makes me a little crazy insane. ive seen a few clips of her. mostly gay shit with beau. uh she’s played by ashley and she could kick my ass very easily

oh my god there’s another photo

- i think there’s only one character different here and it’s caduceus clay fun fact i hated this mfer for really dumb shitty personal reasons for a while before deciding it was very stupid to blame a fictional character for interpersonal drama and now im fine with him. wait does mollymauk die or something. wait a second. no, wait, fuck—

- ALSO WHO’S THAT FUCKER IN THE BACKGROUND I JUST NOTICED THAT

anything else i know about this:

- yeah i got nothing. no idea about the lore or the plot or anything bc i pretty much exclusively see gay ship art of these pcs. love wins i support it

bells hells

from left to right, one more time:

- look my brain is just saying gertrude from dungeons & drag queens but obviously that’s incorrect. so i don’t know who this is

- or this! but she looks very pretty and i love the little... monkey... bird? pls tell me these two characters have some kind of wild opposites dynamic they look like they do

- LITTLE ROBOT GUY . fcg? fgc? i think it was the first one. uh. liam pc? ?????? i think he gets bitches

- orym...? i know one of these characters is named orym. and i think it’s this one. i also see gay fanart of him

- i don’t know who the guy underneath him is

- or the lady with the purple hair god i really don’t know shit about this campaign sorry

- ashton greymoore, taliesin pc, my friend luna loves this guy, he’s. rocks? he’s rocks. groovy.

- someone in this campaign is named like dorian or something and im guessing its this one bc idk who they are either

anything else i know about this:

- flying.......... ship?

- this is the ongoing one i think

thank you for coming to my ted talk, i can’t wait to look back at this in a few months and laugh my ass off. hope u enjoyed this mess

#jupiter.txt #thierry.txt #critical role

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thebestofoneshots · 5 months

Note

My mate went off on me because I don’t know who Bucky Barnes (did I even spell that right?) is because I don’t like Marvel. The thing is I couldn’t really tell her “oh I do know who he is, I read smut/regular fics about him on Tumblr”…

Anyway, now I’m obsessed with a fictional character I know nothing cannonically about -🫎

Oh you’ve come to the right person. Allow me to educate you on canon.

His name is James Buchanan Barnes, nicknamed Bucky by his best friend in the whole wide world Steve Rogers (that’s Captain America). But we also call him Winter Soldier, Bucky Bear, babe, or one of Lily’s husbands in the Marvel Universe

What’s his story though? Easy peasy. It’s the 1940s he’s besties with Steve, back when he still looked like a twink, and gets drafted to fight in WWII (tho he pretends he enlisted)

That’s him back then. Yeah, we know. How could you not? Also, he’s played by Sebastian Stan, who is an absolute fluffball of a human being.

Anyway, Bucky gets drafted and then we see Steve’s story where he basically just becomes Captain America.

But then, and this is what the interesting stuff happens, Steve gets sent to a camp to cheer up the soldiers like he’s been cheering up the people, and then he finds out that the 107th Infantry Regiment (Bucky’s Unit) was captured by the German army, so he goes (against orders) to search for him.

After a lot of badass Captain America scenes we finally see our baby again. But oh no! He was tortured by Hydra and they clearly did something to him, we don’t know what.

So, Steve makes friends and they form a team Called the Howling Commandos, and they do a lot of badass things, helping the US army win WWII. In one of those missions, there’s a train.

Oh no the train.

Basically, cool fight scenes and all, Bucky falls off the fucking train on a heart wrenching moment.

And then… we don’t see him again until…

But, and this is a good question, HOW DID WE GET TO THAT?

Well, Bucky falls, hydra rescues him bc he’s alive (it’s the super soldier serum they injected on him while they tortured him), also, that’s when he loses his left arm.

They torture him for years:

Fry his brain so he doesn’t remember Steve and also add a little code so they can control his mind.

That’s how our beautiful and sweet Bucky Barnes becomes THE WINTER SOLDIER

Who is he tho? Basically, Hydra’s trained little weapon that does whatever they ask him to do. But it’s okay, eventually, he starts remembering who he is, and there’s a huge drama with this because Tony Stark (Iron Man) finds out Bucky killed his parents (it wasn’t Bucky it was The Winter Soldier) and gets all mad and pissy about it and wants to unalive poor Bucky.

But Steve thankfully defends Bucky and they escape together to Wakanda, with black panther. There Bucky gets frosted, also he looses his arm because of the fight.

Then he’s defrosted and the Wakanda people get him to get rid of the mind control codes put in by Hydra and this incredible scene happens

They also give him a new metal arm (this one’s black and gold)

And then my boy has to go to therapy (literally forced by the law)

Also he cut his hair too hehe.

I feel like I’ve summed up cannon Bucky pretty well so far. Of course, there’s a lot of emotional trauma and other plot points that I left out, but next time someone askes you about Bucky, you’ll know.

Also, I used to write almost exclusively for him, so the obsession is pretty heavy still, Bucky baby I still love you, I have not forgotten you my dear (my like 10 funko pops of you literally prove this)

Read Bucky Fanfics here

#bucky barnes one shot #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes #bucky x oc #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barns imagine #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky x female reader #bucky one shot #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #james bucky buchanan barnes

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chiarrara · 23 days

Text

✨💞controversial jjk character ranking tier list💞✨

got some hot takes in this one that some of y'all are not gonna like... 👀 breakdowns below the cut

1. i, personally, am insane about them:

megumi fushiguro, suguru geto, shoko ieri, kittycunt choso, junpei yoshino, yuuta okkotsu

2. best boy / best girl / loml sweet baby angel 💕🫰🏽✨:

yuuji itadori, nobara kugisaki, nanamin, aoi todo, higuruma, makin zenin, toge inumaki, yuki tsukumo, ijichi, miguel odoul, kirara hoshi, jogo, kusakabe, nitta, takaba, tall idol takada, tsumiki fushiguro, utahime iori, that sumo guy & that other guy with the sumo guy (i think)

this is a packed category. itadori & kugisaki are right on the cusp of "insane about them" and "love them a lot a lot a lot" ... tsumiki should be ranked a little higher. mimiko and nanako were not included in this template, but they would go here.

3. good, in a literary sense:

satoru gojo, eso, mahito, naoya zenin, that guy megumi fought, toji fushiguro, mahoraga

so uh......toji should be higher. so should mahoraga. that's all i have to say 🙂

4. ...fine:

ino, kinji hakari, useless miwa, hanami, mai zenin, principal yaga, twink from shibuya (haruta??? apparently?), kashimo, uraume, sparky sparky boom man, that guy who throws his teeth, kechizu

this is a category for characters I have a net "meh" reaction to. some of them would be in lower tiers if I didn't like their character design.

5. induces a complicated, quiet rage in me. so incredibly infuriating, yet also boring. meant to be sympathetic, yet i have no sympathy. i will not judge you for how you dealt with insurmountable adversity, but i do not like you:

mechamaru, ui ui

this category was created specifically for mechamaru. threw ui ui in here too bc why tf not, he fits (most) of the criteria.

6. don't care:

panda, hana/angel, noritoshi kamo (the younger), anime alcoholic zenin what's his name, dagon, nishimiya, principal gakuganji, plane hair girl, sky girl (ume? uro?)

listen..... don't shoot me. in canon....they are boring to me. i don't care about them. i don't care about their backstories, I don't care about their motivations. they are literally taking up space on my page/screen that could be dedicated to someone i give a fuck about. two of them made it out of the bottom tier by being hot.

7. i want to dip them in acid, coat them in pop rocks, then dip them in lava repeatedly:

kenjaku, sukuna, tengen

...I think this is pretty self explanatory

8. literally so irrelevant i don't even know who you are:

i could not list these names if i tried

---

mei mei was also not on this list. would probably warrant her own category ala mechamaru. something like: "girl, you are so complicated, and not in a good way" or "a very confusing mix of mindless attraction and disgust-fueled repulsion is waging war in my body and I don't know which side will win" or "i would pay 10,000,000¥ for you to go away... and/or step on me? + calling child services for your brother"

---

✨beloved mutuals & non-beloved strangers, feel free to yell at me about this in my ask box 💕🫰🏽✨

#jjk #jujitsu kaisen #jjk tier list #controversial takes:#gojo satoru #jjk panda #mechamaru #maybe?#itadori yuuji #nobara kugisaki #megumi fushiguro #geto suguru #i used to want to dip toji in lava #but he is very interesting to me #also a very good character #in a literary sense #chiamemes

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frogasaurusrex39 · 15 days

Note

unreliable narrorator Y/n doing a school project on the Thorn General or whatever they called him

The Amazing Biography of The Valley's Loyal General (With pictures!!) Written by Y/N!

[!!REQUESTS OPEN!! Characters: {Y/N}(Written first person), Grim(Briefly), Mozus Trein, Lilia Vanrouge, Malleus Draconia, Gargoyle, Ortho Shroud, Idia Shroud, Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech(Briefly) Word Count:1,342 Warnings/Spoilers: ooc-ness (since the narrator is *unreliable*), A joke about emo stereotypes (Not all emos follow the stereotypes and I don't mean any harm by it. Shoutout to all my emos reading this) Also somehow no spoilers Extra: Y/N stands for Your Name, E/C stands for eye color

It was a gloomy morning in Homeroom, my classmates sluggish, the desks on fire, Grim hungry, demons rising from portals, my air pods dead, oh it was absolutely dreadful! I was about to die!

However...Trein-Sensei's words sparked life in my dull {E/C} eyes. A massive homework assignment!! Now I hate homework, especially big projects, but this one was amazing! A biography on any historical figure from the Valley Of Thorns War back in the day. He wrote down the list of people available on the board, but I already knew who I wanted. The mysterious Right General of Briar Valley (Pretend it's sparkly I lost my glitter pen) Not the Queens, not the Left General, not the legendary Man of Iron (or was it steel?) The Right General! He was so intriguing. How was he so known yet such an enigma? I was going to find out. But I had competition. Lilia also wanted to do his project on the General. I couldn't let him snag this opportunity from me. I played it civil when I first heard of his plans. I humbly asked to take the General for my essay, but he refused! I am an amazing charmer, and I tried working my magic, but he just wouldn't budge! So I had no other choice....I challenged him to A DUEL!! (DUNDUNDUN!!) We met at the courtyard in the afternoon. I came ready to fight. I wouldn't let this weirdo beat me. (Before you come at me, he literally picks his nose, THAT'S WEIRD!!) I had my sword and my legendary gear which I got from my Great Grandfather. He said I was destined for something big, and this was it! Lilia had his own gear he must have gotten from his housewarden or something, but it couldn't top mine. Everyone came out to watch our duel. We both unsheathed our blades and charged at each other. The crowd cheered my name (I'm a famous warrior of course it's expected)! We dueled fought with all our might, but...he had defeated me! I laid on the ground, beaten and bruised. I looked up at my opponent, who roared laughing. It lasted for what felt like eternity. (It was only like a few seconds but for dramatic effect Sensei!!) "This means The General is mine." He eventually spoke. I glared up at him. How could I lose to an old man? (No offense I know you're old too) One who's...Emo? (No offense to emos!!) He must've had his teen angst and rock music powers stored up to trash me. Bested by someone who wears 5 pounds of eyeshadow everyday...blech. I didn't speak... I couldn't... I was embarrassed in front of the whole school.... He laughed again.... No! I couldn't let this twink beat me!! (Don't google what twink means). I kicked him in his balls and rained victorious! He begged for mercy, and I gave it to him. (I can make any man beg, especially the stupid kind)

So, the Right General Of Briar Valley was mine!! And I already knew where I could get my first bit of information...A source no stupid nose picker had... Malleus Draconia! (Or as I like to call him, Tsunotaoru [Hornton]) (Okay yes now I notice Lilia literally is his bestiepoo (or something.) But still!! For dramatic effect!!) According to my math he must've met the General at least once in his life. He's the heir to the thrown throne after all. The General is still alive both had the time to interact. 18 years to! (I think Tsunibuni [Horntonwornton](pronounce it with o) is that age) So it was perfect!! I set up an interview in the library. He was willing to answer my questions.

He answered all of them!! It was perfect!! I told you Tsunibuni [Horntonwornton] would be of use!! Though it did take some persuasion... "Where'd you hide the body?" I queried. "I'm not telling you that." He protested. "Are you sure? What if I.....Hurt your precious gargoyles" I said as I picked up a massive gargoyle and held my legendary sword to it's throat. It looked at Mallypoo with tears in it's eyes. "Y-you wouldn't..." He stuttered. "A-ANYTHING BUT THAT!!" (I told you I can make any man beg) "Oh I would." I smirked and brought the dagger closer. "Poor little gargoy won't make it out of this alive." "NO! FINE, I'LL TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW!! BUT PLEASE, ANYTHING BUT HURTING MY PRECIOUS POOKIEWOOKIEBEAR!! MY SWEETHEART!! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!" Of course, he didn't have the answer to everything, so I did have to hit the books. I hit them with a stick. It wasn't effective. Don't know why. Maybe I did it wrong? Or did I have to use something other than a stick? Oh well... My last option... GOOGLE!! But I was running short on time and the Wi-Fi was down...so I had to contact a good ol pal of mine. The first real Android...

Ortho Shroud.

I called Ortho up and raced out the door. He answered right away but there was one problem... He was busy getting Idia out of bed. He was sad about some sort of gambling game. So I made my lil broski a deal. I'd wake his brother up and he'd let me use his search engine. So I ran to Ignyhyde!! Once I got there he was waiting outside for me. He quickly thanked me and took me to Idia's room. (It was so messy, and it smelled like unwashed shut in, it was disgusting) But I was determined to help him out!

I tried everything! Shaking him, screaming, promising him ice cream, nothing! He was a stubborn fire boy. So, I had one option left... Water. So, I really didn't think this through, but I guess his fire hair goes out so.... I MADE HIM BALD

That was not what I wanted to do! I swear! He was mortified! I know I'd be too if I lost all my hair... I didn't know what to do! I panicked!! But luckily, I figured out what to do with the help of Ortho. However...It involved Idia leaving his room... Which was hard to do. So, I did the same thing to Idia as I did Malleus. "Come with us or-... Hatsune Miku gets it!" "NO! ANYTNING BUT HATSUNE MIKU!" It was a piece of cake.

One hoodie later and we rushed to the one place where all our problems could be solved. Mostro Lounge. Azul's known to grant people wishes. Once we got inside Jade led us to a table, but we had to order drinks before Azul would see us. Of course we did, they have an awesome Mostro Lounge x Mystery Shack drink. Idia said they needed a ship name. I don't know what he meant, no boats were involved. After getting our drinks eventually we were allowed to see Azul. Ortho reassured his brother as we entered the octopus's office. Now I know what you're thinking... He's a sketchy man and it'll be hard to get his hair back for a fair price. So, how'd we get out of this without anemones on our head? Well, I don't know. I had to finish writing this paper before tomorrow and I didn't have time to sit and do business deals. Therefore, I left them. (Don't judge me!! This was a big assignment!) So how did I get the information I needed? Well... I read the books. That's a way better method then hitting them. Learned that the hard way...And hours later I had all the information I needed to write the essay! The end

"{Y/N}.... The assignment was a 5 paragraph essay on a historical figure. That's not what this is." Trein said as he slid the paper back over to me. "WHAT?! BUT THIS IS QUALITY CONTENT! IT'S ENTERTAINING!" I shouted back. "Half of this stuff didn't even happen." "Well, dramatic effects!!" "Redo this." "Hmph... Fine."

WOW, WILD RIDE!! YOU MADE IT TOO THE END THO!! I LOVE THIS Y/N CREATURE I MIGHT MAKE AN OC OUT OF THEM ONE DAY!! That's for the future tho rn I gotta add tags and post this. Comments appreciated My requests are open Thanks for reading Byebye!!

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madcatlad · 9 months

Text

I doubt Jesson intended it but... why do I keep running into this really heavy theme throughout mcd.

Hear me out:

Children turning out to be monsters despite their parents efforts.

Let's start of with the obvious red flags

Zenix.

It is implied that he was very young when he was taken in by Garroth. It is also said outright that he was a shadowknight even before that. The dark implication of this is that Zenix became a shadowknight at a young age (children becoming shadowknights is rarely mentioned within mcd, it notably is only implied with Zenix, and Alexis.) Garroth took Zenix under his wing, so much so the kid was literally described as like a son to Garroth. But despite his efforts Zenix betrayed Phoenix Drop. The way they address this issue stands out to me as multiple characters seem to describe Zenix as "already gone" from his arrival to Phoenix Drop. Even Laurence. Now one could chalk this up to Jess being unable or unwilling to truly address Zenix as a tragic character, and simply paint him as the conniving villain the series needed at the time (before Zane). And i think there is some truth to that. However the fact that Zenix' motives have remained notably undefined and his actions seem to contradict from what we are told about him so insistently. Even for Jessica this is a clear sign that something is up. "Already gone"... because my writer brain loves parallels I automatically connected it to (again) the only place that this idea is brought up in the series: Zane.

Zane.

Zane in mcd is evil, his motives also seem a little unclear at times, but this is because he characterized to be power hungry, unpredictable, and- undeniably evil. But was it always this way? Zane would prefer to watch the world burn than rule it. He seems to just hate people, so what terrible event caused such a terrible person? Nothing apparently. As said by Zianna, he was "always that way".

Zenix' "Already Gone" hits far too close to Zane's "Always That Way" for me. And the parallels don't end there, Zenix and Zane mirror one another in interesting ways. Both have familial-like attachment to Garroth, and their nature/motivation seems to torment and confuse him endlessly. They both became shadowknights (both were chosen by the shadow lord despite being outside of his usual "type" - Zane:At twink, Zenix:A child.) And they both seem to be obsessed with power, yet both have some kind of trauma surrounding people in power (Zane:Garte, Zenix:Implied to have been wronged by a lord in some way.) All this being said I have to point out Zenix and Zane both start with Z. They are the only ones aside from Zoey with a Z starting name, and since they already share so many qualities I can see this being a way for Jess to foreshadow this.

Garroth, like he did with Zenix, he questions what led Zane on his path but Zianna seems to put this idea to rest entirely, and her word is taken as fact. Which is fair the idea isn't too shocking, considering the kind of person Zane was. But the fact that even Garroth thought to question the cause of Zane's nature and is immediately shut down by Zianna, and then it is never mentioned again. It's just to reminiscent to how Garroth compartmentalized Zenix' downfall and never mentioned it again. It's just too close.

Zianna at the end of the day is Zane's mother, which one could argue that she knows him best, however parents can be blind to the trauma that young children might face and the results that this may cause. Important to note is that Zianna is likely a victim. A constant state of fight or flight could absolutely block her from realizing or addressing the effects of prolonged trauma in her children. In her mind she was taking the blunt of the rather, a shield between harm and her children, but as in most cases, and as shown in both Garroth and Vylad this was not the reality, so it would be easy to connected that this would be the same with the middle son, Zane.

But in the misfortune of her situation Zianna did the best that she possibly could. But Zane ended up the way he did anyway. The way that Zianna is characterized in her short time on screen really encapsulates the backbone of this concept. Her guilt, and her grief are so compelling, and the manner in which she rationalize her traumatic experience is very believable... but identifying a child who was raised in a household that actively encouraged cruelty as just "always like that" is very suspicious to me. And the strong thematic intersections aligning between Zenix and Zane makes me believe that there is something going on here.

Brian

Last but not least.

This reveal was unexpected but impactful. It was shocking because of this concept. Despite Molly's best efforts Brian became a traitor anyway.

It came alongside Zenix' in a way which I think is interesting. It was implied that they had some kind of relationship. And they both ended up betraying Phoenix Drop.

I wonder where this guy is now...

But some honorable mentions since this concept is interesting to me. (Most of the arcs were put aside so it is interesting to think where they could have gone considering the circumstances, so I'm connecting it to this mini-theory.)

Season 1, when Baby Alexis was turned into an adult SHADOWKNIGHT! She was returned to normal of course but still... is that a possible destiny for her to be weary of?

Leona. Kiki is so sweet, and a great mom, bit... there is too much mystery and unanswered questions surrounding this child of her's. (Why did Zane even do this?) She is somewhat implied to kinda-but-not-really be Zane's? Regardless of the reality one way or another she is a result of Zane, a pawn in his plot, maybe one that died with him, maybe one that returned with him, we don't know.

Considering this thematic presence throughout MCD I wonder where this would have led in season three. It would be interesting if this heavier side to the series continued. Especially since Aphmau is raising the heir to a destroyer's relic. If this theme is to be believed then where would that lead to in Alina's destiny?

"Minecraft Diaries: Son and Daughters"

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46724815

#aphblr #aphmau #zianna ro'meave #zane ro'meave #garroth ro'meave #zenix mcd #brian mcd #leona mcd #shad the destroyer #mcd #minecraft diaries

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injouable · 10 months

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Was Franz Joseph as boring as he seems?

There are hudreds of different types of media dedicated to empress Elisabeth, including films, books, tv-shows and musical. And in most of them the figure of her husband Franz Joseph, who was much more important in historical and social context, is barely a piece of furniture in the backgroung. Even if his character is somehow developed, the central figure is always Elisabeth and never him. It is simply explained by the outstandind personality on the empress, that can have a lot of more or less romanticized interpretations. Compared to her, the emperor is just a boring and worthless normie, that noone would be interested in. But here are some facts about his young years showing that he also deserves some attention.

1. Just look at this twink and his tiny waist.

I'm 100% sure that he wore corsets.

2. Franz Joseph had a fenomenal memory. He never forgot names and faces and could easily memorise large vocabulary, which allowed him to learn six languages (German, French, Polish, Czech, Hungarian, Italian and a little of Latin and Greek). Also he was a really good dancer and had a talent for drawing. Here's his pencil drawing at the age of 13.

3. That little line from the musical "Feelings are forbidden for me" was actually a really big thing in his upbringing. His mentors literally didn't allow him to show any emotion to make him elaborate an iron discipline and self-control. Eventually his character became highly reserved and devoid of compation and warmth. And when he was already 17 his mother Sophie *suddenly* realized, that it all went in a wrong direction. The best solution that she came up with was to force her son to play a comedy role in a private perfomance at the court, so that he could gain more easiness in communication. Franz hated the whole idea and hated every minute on stage. But, supposingly, it did actually help him to imrove his social skills, because after that contemporaries always described him as a totally amiable and charming lad.

4. Franz Joseph became an emperor when he was 18. At that point the country was on the edge of revolution and the previous emperor, his uncle Ferdinand, decided to simply run away from Vienna refusing from the crown and left the reins of government together with a political disaster to his young nephew. Rumour has it, that when Franz Joseph returned after the transfer of power ceremony he burst into tears.

5. Two weeks later, when it was known, that austrian troops entered Hungary to suppress the rebellion and the civilian war has actually started, there was one peculiar incident. During an evening ball FJ's youngest brother Lugwig Victor accidentally cracked a mirrored door and asked the emperor to protect him from punishment. Unexpectedly Franz Joseph asked his mother, if he could smash the door completely, when there's already a crack in it. And after getting a permition he frantically and furiously shattered the glass into pieces. I didn't find any information about did he do it with some object or with bare hands, but just imagine, if he did it with bare hands.

The craziest is that it wasn't even at the imperial palace, they were on a visit to some archbishop and the man was totally pissed off by this prank.

There will be no conclusion.

#elisabeth das musical #history #19th century #musicals #historical people #franz joseph i

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rotatiffantome · 3 months

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one time i had a dream a new book came out called Me & Mr. Wolf that was a satirical piece about booktok books & dark romance in general & it sounded mad interesting but i can’t really remember it so i’m just going to list what i can remember

the main character didn’t actually have a name. he was literally just referred to as The Lamb or Him the whole book

the lamb & mr. wolf were just two sides of the same coin, with the lamb being the representation of “the ideal man” & mr. wolf representing the moral depravity it takes to do most of the actions described in dark romance

it was advertised as a booktok book 💀 it started with a shitty smut scene & everything too before immediately going “yeah that was a fantasy actually FUCK YOU now sit through my 300 pages of this twinks descent into madness”

uhh i can’t really remember much else actually

#noir talks #dreaming in black #does this sound like jekyll & hyde? probably #jekyll & hyde except jekyll is ok with his evil freak side

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pigeonwit · 21 days

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hii pidge, i saw u mentioned race + horse imagery in your last post and i def agree bc horses are v loyal n ofc there is the thing of (metaphorically and also literally) carrying people's loads, and bolting when faced w danger so I would love to know if u have any more thoughts about it? :))

tbh i don't have many artsy references for why race is horse-coded, it just makes the most sense to me. mostly because i think the modern view of horses is kind of a joke? like we've all seen the memes about how fucked up horses bodies are, we've all seen the ones about how 'oh if horses run too fast their lungs bleed' or 'if they eat too much their hooves fall off' and 'humans thought they had it bad but then they looked at horses and said 'that guy's got it worse'.' i think that applies to race all too well, really, ESPECIALLY now that we've seen what some people reduce his character to be. the funny guy. the bitchy twink who's only there to be a punchline. but he's more than that - or maybe he could've been if he was born a little earlier, back when horses had meaning and sprang fully formed out of seafoam and brought the greeks to troy, but now they just run. they run their laps, and a bunch of drunks scream at them for not being fast enough, for not knowing the terrain well enough, as if that's something they can control. because race can't control it, but he's still trying his damnedest to run the course as well as he can. he's always doing as much as he can as fast as he can - he's the second, for god's sake, he has to. but as much as he tries to keep it under control, to follow the bends and jump every hurdle, there's always going to be a point where he stumbles. where his ankle twists or his hoof splits too far to fix. if he's lucky, he'll retire - but most likely, he'll be led out by the nose towards a carrot and a shotgun, and then maybe his bones can be melted down into something useful. that's all he tries to be - useful. a hard worker, a fast runner. but up until he breaks, he's just going to be a joke.

that said, if you do want a good poem about horses, maybe check out 'at grass' by philip larkin. it's not necessarily race-coded but there were a few lines that made me think of what his life might be like after he stopped being a newsie; standing anonymous, his racing name gone, his past victories plaguing his ears like flies.

#honestly doing research for this one was crazy because DAMN. people really do sleep on the artistic potential of horses.#it's mostly aggressively millennial horse girl shit and a bunch of memes.#anywhore thanks for asking!! race and his desperate need to be useful while constantly being made to be a fool is... Mwah.#racetrack higgins #writingraccoon #bunchawetnoodles #ask

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mrwavellswaps · 1 year

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Transforming the Teacher - Part 3 (Epilogue)

The third and final part of the collab with the awesome @tf-lover. Wrapping up this story in a neat little bow that hope you’ll all enjoy. Can’t wait to further evolve these characters in the future!

Read Part 2 here!

~~~

Today had been probably the most unpredictable and blatantly impossible day of Dane’s entire life. When he woke up Dane wasn’t even his name! He’d started the day as your average 20 something year old twink of a maths teacher. But by the end of the school day he’d become his own dream man! Huge muscles everywhere and the face and body of a model bodybuilder!

After that he couldn’t have imagined it’d get crazier. And yet it did! The man responsible for his new body revealed himself as Mr Wavell before the two ended up having a dinner date together. It was surreal but at that point Dane had almost numbed himself to the insanity. They had a very intriguing conversation while eating together and when all was said and done Wavell revealed he was the owner of a mansion. Hearing such the hunk just knew he had to see it for himself.

Dane paused for a second before opening the door. "We're actually going to walk? No teleporting to some pocket dimension where you live, no crazy flying car, just walking?" He was rather surprised, if he was being honest walking towards the door had been more symbolic than anything. He reached out and pulled the door open with his free hand, the other occupied by Wavell’s one.

“Well we could teleport but where would be the fun in that huh? Besides, it'd be a good idea to walk off that meal we just had.” Wavell walked through the door first, stepping out into the evening.

"Yeah, walking is cool with me." Dane followed behind his new friend(?) before closing the door and locking up. After which the two of them began a stroll down the street, casually chatting a little as they did.

“Well I’ve told you all about me but I’d like to hear more about you. Whether it be who you were before or who you are now.” Wavell’s eyes wandered across Dane’s muscled body, tightly clad in well fitted gym clothes. “Or perhaps knowing what your feelings are towards your new body?”

"I love it!" Dane didn’t hesitate one bit. "I've always wanted to get bigger, workout and all that stuff, but I never had the discipline to do it. I even had a personal trainer for a little while, but I ended up stopping that after a while." He gestured down at his new gorgeous body. "But now I'm all set up with a huge jock body and all the right knowledge to keep it this way, and I just feel so much better."

He glanced back up at Wavell and smiled. "Is there anything else in particular you want to know? We could do a sort of 20 questions type thing if you want."

“Yeah why not. That sounds like fun.” The warlock laughed. “Alright then we’ll start with something simple. First question, what’s your favourite hobby?”

"I mean, now it's probably the gym with this new body." Dane chuckled. "But beforehand it was probably writing transformation stories, that was always loads of fun."

“Oh how interesting! So this whole transformation thing was already a bit of a kink for you before all this then huh? You becoming Dane here really must’ve been a dream come true then. But yeah I don’t doubt you’ll be spending far more of your free time in the gym from now on to keep that body pumped and huge.”

"Yeah you've got that right. The whole transformation thing is just so hot, so literally getting turned into a huge muscle hunk like this was a dream come true for sure!" Dane couldn’t help but flex his giant biceps again before bouncing his colossal pecs, grinning even more in the process. "Anything else you want to ask?"

It didn’t take Wavell long to swiftly decide on his second question. “How about this then. What’s one of your biggest dreams right now! What do you desire?”

Dane had to think on that one for a minute before answering. "I suppose I want to make the most of this new body. Don’t get me wrong, I love the reward of teaching maths to young minds, but would it be weird if I tried to get a personal training certification as well?"

“Not at all! That sounds like an amazing idea!” Wavell reached over and placed a hand under one of Dane’s pecs before jiggling the hefty muscle a little. “Training other men to have giant tits like these sounds like a worthwhile cause!”

"Maybe one day I'll swap to doing the personal training full time instead of teaching depending on how it goes..." A sly grin appeared on the hunk’s face as he watched his new acquaintance play with his pecs. "Maybe Mr Wavell needs to learn a thing or two about having some juicy pecs of his own."

Wavell looked up at Dane with a smirk and a raised eyebrow “Mmm maybe you’re right about that. I’ve had similar ones in the past when I’ve temporarily possessed other bodies and I have to say having juicy pecs was quite a delight. But none were quite as meaty as the ones you have now.” With that Wavell retracted his hand from Dane’s chest and went back to holding the other man’s hand. Especially since the elderly woman across the street had been staring at them with the most bewildered look on her face.

"But a little meat on the regular you if you don't want to be a young muscle hunk like me eh?" Dane blushed a little when he realised they’d been seen.

“Hmmm maybe you’re right. Packing a little extra meat onto this frame of mine might not be such a bad idea.” The older man admitted looking down at his lean mature body clad in his signature casual suit. “So anyway, next question then I suppose… have you… ever been in a relationship before?”

"Nothing hugely long term, mostly shorter things that didn't last." Dane said with a slightly wistful smile. "Never really found the right guy I suppose. Someone that actually really wants a relationship and is willing to put effort in to make it work."

“I would say that I get that but honestly I’ve never been in a relationship full stop. Before I was Wavell there was just no possible way it could’ve happened and since becoming this version of me I’ve been so focused on bringing my desires and those of the men around me to the surface.” He explained as they continued to plod along together. “And I guess… I just never felt like I could love someone. Whenever I looked at a handsome man I would only ever see lust, sex and transformation. Until you that is…”

Dane thought he was blushing before but it turns out that he didn't know the half of it. His cheeks flushed a bright red at Wavell’s words; no one had ever been so forward in their desires for him before.

"I umm, would like that too." The former skinny teacher mumbled, paying more attention to the large house that they seemed to be approaching. "I definitely want to get to know the man underneath Oliver Wavell a little more, because you're in there and I know it. You're a mystery to me, but that's exciting."

“Well I’m glad you’re so intrigued by little ol’ me” Wavell smiled. It was then that Dane began to notice that as the pair drew nearer to the house, the rest of their surroundings became more transparent. Almost as if it were all disappearing around them somehow, leaving only the huge mansion that lay ahead.

"Wait... What the fuck is happening? Everything else is fading away?" Dane panicked for a second, glancing between his new magical friend, the mansion, and the rest of the surroundings. He couldn't place exactly what was going on, but now all he could see was the two of them and the huge mansion not far away. "That's fucking trippy as hell damn."

“Sorry about that, I probably should’ve warned you. My mansion is in fact inside a pocket dimension that I created. I thought I’d use a slower, more gradual type of teleportation so as to not make you feel as sick.” Wavell couldn’t help but notice how Dane squeezed his hand a little tighter while looking around.

Besides the mansion ahead, there was a massive void that extended around them. The sky was a light lilac colour while the ground beneath, that almost seemed like shallow water, was a deep violet. Both of which reflect the typical purple colour of Mr Wavell’s magic.

“It sits between your world and my home world. The only people that can get here are myself and those that I bring with me.” As Wavell explained he noticed Dane gazing out into the fog around them. “Oh and I wouldn’t advise wandering off outside the mansion without me here. It’s very easy to get lost.”

Dane couldn’t help but shudder as he looked out into the deep and seemingly endless void. The place felt enormous, but at the same time tiny. It was an odd feeling, but one he found himself adjusting to quite well. There was a strange tingle in the air, one that felt like it was barely there at all. But he knew it was there. Was that what magic felt like?

"Is that weird tingling feeling what I think it is? The magic holding this whole place together?"

The warlock glanced over at his hunky friend with a slightly shocked and confused expression. “You can feel the magic in this place?” He narrowed his eyes a little while continuing to lead Dane closer to the mansion. “How curious. Normal creatures and humans like yourself shouldn’t be able to feel and sense magic, even at this magnitude… perhaps there’s more to you than either of us realised Dane.”

"What're you saying? I'm not human?" Dane looked down at himself and started to run his hands all over his muscled body, looking as though he was enjoying it just a tad too much. "I dunno, I feel pretty human to me. I don't have a tail or pointed ears or anything, and I thought you said magic didn't exist in my world?"

The two of them finally reached the giant double doors of the huge building before them, seemingly the only one in this dimension. “Hahaha no that’s not what I meant. What I mean is that you might not be a normal human. It’s like what I told you earlier. I myself am technically a human, just an incredibly powerful magic mutation of one.”

Dane frowned at that. Not a normal human? "So what, I'm like you then? A warlock or whatever?" He was confused to say the least about all this, but it was a little exciting too. "That could be fun, assuming that's what's going on here."

“Perhaps… it’s hard to say for sure what you might be.” Wavell guided Dane inside the mansion only for them to step into a rather grand main hall at the entrance with two massive staircases at either side. It was bigger and grander than any Dane had seen before. It looked like something out of a fairytale.

“I’m not going to jump to any conclusions just yet so I think it’d be right if you stayed here for a while so I could test you a little. Besides, this place runs outside of normal time meaning we could stay here for weeks in theory and I could still have you back in time for work tomorrow.” Wavell was now more interested in this man than ever before.

He turned around to see Dane looking around in awe. “If you want to stay for a while, that is… I would also love to just have company for once. But if you’d rather go I can take you home… If you want.”

Dane whirled back to look at Wavell, a bright, warm smile on his face. "I'd love to stay here for a bit with you, and not just to figure myself out. I want to get to know you more, and have more dates that are perhaps a little more planned out than our first one was."

He laughed a little as he gazed up into the eyes of an actual otherworldly being. They’d once again naturally drifted to standing close together, though this time there was no potentially burning food to interrupt them.

“Yeah… I’d really like that.” Wavell placed both hands on those massive boulder-like shoulders before rubbing down Dane’s thick muscular arms. The same warm sensation in his chest that he’d felt back in the kitchen returning. He looked down at Dane’s kind, handsome face, admiring all its features. But most of all he couldn’t stop thinking about those plump lips of his decorated with that well groomed moustache. Fuck he just wanted to kiss them so badly. And usually he would. When Wavell Desiree something, he took it… and yet with Dane he hesitated. Was this what nervousness felt like? He wondered. He hadn’t experienced it in such a long time that I wasn’t entirely sure…

Dane could see the hesitation. It was sweet really, seeing someone as powerful and confident as Wavell suddenly nervous at how close they were. Despite the mature exterior, Dane could tell that deep down Wavell still had the heart of an unloved outcast that'd escaped his world. He had no idea how old the warlock actually was under that mature exterior, but he was just as new at this as Dane was. "Come on, we've both been wanting this. Why don't you get over here and kiss m-"

Wavell just about cut his devilishly handsome friend off at the end as he practically smashed their lips together while grabbing his face from both sides. The kiss started out strong, intense and passionate. Desperate almost as their tongues began to explore each other's mouths a little. However gradually the intensity simmered down, both of them now simply holding each other close as they kissed slowly and softly. It was a moment that felt as though it could last an eternity.

"So I just kissed a warlock from another dimension that thinks I'm not totally human and gave me the body of a muscular god." Dane smirked against the older man’s lips. "Nice"

The pair went back in for another short kiss before pulling apart again. “Yup that sounds about right.” Wavell commented before diving back into the kiss. He waved my hand slightly allowing the large main doors to the mansion to close once again.

The heated little make out session continued for a few more minutes, the pair completely losing themselves in the blissful sensation of holding another handsome man that intrigued them so close. There was lust for sure but anyone could tell that it was also sweet and loving. However, after a couple minutes, they ended up being forced to pull apart as the need for breath finally overwhelmed the want to kiss.

"Fuck that was good. Best kiss ever." Dane whispered. He didn't need to whisper, but the intimacy of the moment seemed to demand it. "Never thought I'd be kissing a guy from literally another world but here we are I guess."

“Here we are indeed.” Wavell gazed down at Dane lovingly before cupping his face in his hand. “You’re an interesting one yourself Dane.” With that their bodies finally parted. Wavell outstretched his arms and waved towards the hallway ahead alongside the multiple sets of stairs. “Well then, I believe a tour is in order.”

With that the unlikely pair wandered off into the mansion where Mr Wavell was ready to open his new friend up to a whole new world…

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