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shallyne · 1 year

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SJM Romance Week Day One

Two Fates, One Day | Chapter 1

My fic for @sjmromanceweek edited by @midnightgoldstone (thank you so so so much ❤️)

Words: 1530

Elriel meets when they are out with their younger siblings! Pls be prepared: Roles are reversed to canon and age gaps are bigger!

TW: mention and implication of neglect

Elain promised her little sister to go to the playground with her. Even though Elain is thoroughly exhausted, she keeps to her promise. There she meets someone from school she rarely talks to, but has a big crush on

Elain was utterly exhausted as she walked down the street to the playground, Feyre holding her hand and babbling about her day in kindergarten. She just half-listened to her little sister, as exhausted as Elain was, it was hard to focus on both Feyre and their surroundings. The night before she was up until the early hours studying for a morning exam. She'd rather have gone home to take a nap but she had promised Feyre that they would go to the playground today and Elain couldn't deny her that. She behaved perfectly and she had problems making friends, so she wanted to take Feyre to the playground, in hope that she could make at least one friend. For the longest time it was beyond Elain why everyone seemed to avoid her little sister until she saw a group of mothers whispering when she helped Feyre put on her jacket. It dawned on her that Elain was the problem - they thought she was a teen mom. Luckily, Feyre didn't realize how they whispered or how they pulled their kids away from them, she was still excited to go there.

Elain and Feyre walked down a short dirt path that led to the playground. Elain tightened the hair tie on Feyres' braid again and then told her she could go play but she grabbed the hem of Elain's cardigan. "Feyre, what's going on?" she asked, worried. "You were so excited." Feyre just shrugged and looked to the ground.

Elain forced a smile on her face and said, "How about you go play and we get ice cream after?"

"I don't want ice cream," Feyre said. Elain put a hand on Feyre's forehead but her temperature seemed normal. She also didn't seem to be sick. Usually Feyre loved ice cream, that's how Elain got her to eat her vegetables. "Feyre." Elain said softly.

"Last time a boy told me that my shoes were ugly," she said quietly and looked away. Elains gaze wandered to her sister's shoes. They were quite old but they were still intact and they were far from ugly. "Then that boy is stupid!" Elain said annoyed, not at her sister but at the boy. "Your shoes are really pretty, I wish I could wear them."

"Really?" Feyre asked. Elain nodded. "You're lucky that they aren't my size or I would steal them from you!"

Feyre giggled and threw her arms around Elain, who kissed the top of her sisters head and said, "You go play and when you want to go, we go." Feyre nodded, "Okay." She smiled and turned around, hurrying to the swingset.

Elain sat down on the bench that was nearest to the swing, keeping an eye on Feyre. A few minutes later she was digging through her bag, looking for her water bottle. She knew that Feyre would be thirsty when she came back. As she did so, someone behind her cleared his throat and she turned her head. Oh God was her only thought when she looked into beautiful hazel eyes. There stood Azriel, a guy she knew from her high school. They shared some classes and got into short conversations from time to time. She was glad that they were short or else Azriel would know without a doubt that she had a crush on him.

"Azriel!" she smiled. "What are you doing here?"

A faint smile bloomed on his mouth and he nodded to the slide on the other side of the playground. "I'm babysitting my brother today," he said. "It looks like you're doing the same with your sister."

Elain only nodded and slid to the side to make room for Azriel and the bench. She wouldn't explain now that she was the only one who took care of Feyre. After their parents died, Elain and Nesta took on the role, but then Nesta went to college and that left only Feyre and herself. "What a coincidence," Elain only said.

Azriel sat down and looked around for his brother, Elain did the same and looked at Feyre. She sat on a swing but she wasn't swinging, a little boy around her age was standing with her. "Is that your brother?" Elain asked Azriel. He looked at her, in the direction she pointed. He smiled and nodded "Yes, that's him. He can talk a lot, I'll get him-"

"No," Elain said, catching his arm when Azriel leaned forward to stand up. "Don't, she looks happy."

He leaned back again and his eyes wandered to where her hand still rested on his arms. She quickly pulled away, pretty sure that a blush crept onto her cheeks she avoided any eye contact.

"They both look happy." Azriel said. Elain watched the kids as Azriel’s brother said something to Feyre and she giggled. "They do," she agreed. "Do you -" she turned back to Azriel and cleared her throat. *Do you think we could do this again? I mean, for the kids. Feyre doesn't have many friends and she seems to have fun with him."

Azriel looked at her for a moment until he nodded. "Yes, sure. Rhys will be excited," he said and took his phone out of his pocket. Elain followed the movement of his fingers with her eyes as he typed in something and then held his phone out to her, "You can give me your number and we can stay in contact."

Elain smiled and took his phone, typing in her number. As she gave his phone back, their fingers brushed for a quick moment. She let her hair fall in front of her face, hoping he couldn't see her blush. Just when she was about to turn back, Feyre came running back. She held onto Elain's leg as she tried to catch her breath. "Hey," Elain smiled. "You look like you had fun." Feyre threw her a bright smile and nodded, "I made a friend!"

"You made a friend!" Elain said excitedly and pulled her little sister into a hug. She picked her up and sat Feyre on her lap as she looked for the water again. As she did that, her gaze wandered to Azriel and his brother, the boy wildly gesturing with his arms as he told Azriel how far he pushed Feyre on the swing. Elain gave Feyre the bottle and she took a little sip, then leaned her head against Elains shoulder. She was exhausted. Tired. Elain already knew the signs, could tell if she was tired or hungry or had to pee by how Feyre acted. "Are you tired?" Elain asked and to her surprise, Feyre nodded. Elain smiled at Azriel apologetically as she stood up, carrying Feyre. "We'll have to go home now, she's tired."

Azriel smiled, "Of course. It was nice to meet you."

Elain opened her mouth to say goodbye but Azriel's brother, Rhys, jumped up. "No!" he said. "Wait!"

"Rhys." Azriel warned but the boy ran to Elain. "Don't go!"

Elain crouched down, to be at eye level with him. So he'd be at eye level with Feyre. "It's not goodbye forever, you can play again! You wouldn't want to play when you're tired, right?"

He shook his head. "No." Elain nodded. "Exactly, so Feyre sleeps and you can play again another time."

The boys scratched his head and his striking blue eyes wandered from Feyre to Elain. His brows furrowed and he asked, "You promise?"

"I promise!" Elain said. Rhys turned around to Azriel and waited. "I promise," Azriel echoed. That seemed to relax him and he nodded, still in thought until Feyre reached out her arm towards him. He hurried to her and threw his arms around Feyre. "Goodbye Feyre!"

Feyre muttered something that sounded like a tired "Bye Rhys."

Elain stood up and nodded to Azriel. "I'll see you," she said and walked from the playground. She adjusted Feyre on her hip and her bag on the other shoulder.

When they arrived in their little apartment, Elain made a quick job of changing Feyre's clothes and putting her down for a nap. She was so exhausted that she was asleep as soon as her head hit her pillow.

Exhausted herself, Elain wandered to the couch. She walked past the fridge and though her stomach grumbled, she didn't bother looking inside, knowing that she'd find it empty. She let herself fall on the old leather and groaned. She wished she wouldn't have told Nesta to go to college, that Elain would be fine, that she could take care of Feyre alone, but Elain had said it. Said it because she was scared of the alternative: asking Nesta to stay and she'd go either way. So Elain ignored the fact that the outcome would have been the same, dreaming about a different life. Hope.

She sighed and picked up her phone when it vibrated, reading the message of an unknown number.

>> Hi, it's Azriel. I know the message comes pretty quick but I wanted to ask if you want to come over on Saturday. Rhys is already asking non-stop about your sister

Another message

>> & I'd like to see you again

She smiled. Elain was a big fan of hope.

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scarlettdragnastan · 2 years

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I’ve always wondered how SJM would write a terrifying SA scene and then instead of having the character reciprocate from trauma, she solves everything with s*x the very next scene like?? ACOSF entire plot could have been more intriguing and better if she didn’t make Cassian this s*x crazed beast whose “love” for Nesta only seemed to stem from their “activities” together. Like he legit never said “I love you” or said anything endearing or worthwhile to Nesta outside of s*x. Don’t get me started of how it seemed like he only wanted for her body. I would never believe that canon Cassian really loves Nesta tbh.

Unfortunately, the entire plot of ACOSF just feels like a smutty fanfic- and contrary to popular belief you don’t need smutty scenes every two chapters especially when the book deals with heavy material like depression, su*cidal thoughts, self-hatred, and SA.

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE PLS

#acotar #acosf #anti acosf #pro nesta archeron #nesta archeron #nesta acosf #nesta and cassian #cassian #cassian acotar #nessian #nesta deserves better #feyre archeron #elain archeron

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nikethestatue · 2 years

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I’m newish to the online ship fandom happening rn and I low key shipped elriel when I read the books 2 years ago, then I read acosf. That’s when I came online and seen art and all that. I didn’t have access to the extra chapters for it but I read them online and my initial read of it was still elriel and how hot it was. But my dummy self went snooping on the /other/ side and I seen how nasty they were towards elriels. I’ve snooped through a few profiles to see what people thought of the other ship and to see if I’d like it too and I was discourage how they flipped words around on elriel profiles and whatnot. I mean not all of em but quite a few were rearing their ugly heads ahead of the others. What I mean to really ask is if we are truly sure if elriel is endgame? It almost has to be right? All the canon is there yeah? My anxiety makes me worry lol pls help

And you should continue shipping Elriel, anon. Ship wars aside, logically, if you look at the text, if you read and assess everything rationally and without histrionics, the question is--what has changed for Elriel in ACOSF?

The answer is--the attraction has been finally confirmed 100%. That's canon. That's ALL that is in the book.

Azriel has helped train the priestesses. Has there been any interest on his part towards any of them? Towards Gwyn? Towards any of the ones who sight and moon over him? NO.

Has Elain expressed any interest in Lucien? No. So much so, that Lucien himself said that he wasn't meeting with her when in Velaris and she went so far as to want to be kissed by another male when Lucien was sleeping upstairs.

Peel away the layers of fandom insanity and if you are left with text only, without TikTok opinions, commissioned artworks, and if you take away any and all theories on both sides of the war, what are you left with?

Elriel.

Charged glances. Disinterest in Mor. Disinterest in Lucien. Shadows ready to strike. 'What happened with Elain?", "I helped rescue Elain after all', and 'offer and permission'. Gifts for each other and the scent of mating bond that's making Azriel sick.

That's it. That's what SJM opted to include in the book.

People don't have to like it, but that's what it is. When Azriel asks 'What happened with Gwyn?" then come talk to me.

#elriel #pro elriel #azriel and elain

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nyxreads · 2 years

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Yes I think Azriel trusted Elain's capabilities or see something to offer her the TT, but it's also the same one when Az trusted Gwyn can win the bloodrite. Also Az is still too protective of Elain in acosf and cannot let her do her own thing. I still believe it's toxic for both of them.

First of all, Az doesn't only trust Gwyn alone, he trusts Gw*n, Emerie and Nesta. Second of all, how the hell is this comparable to the TT scene? Where Az who's literally limping still offered his dagger (that he never let anyone touches) and assured Elain it will serve her well? Azriel trust the three to win the rite vs Azriel offering the TT and trust it to Elain ALONE. Make it make sense.

Third, explain to me why Cassian's losing his shit during that time, Cassian who's Nesta's mate, while Azriel was willing to save Eris more? You mean to tell me, Cassian doesn't trust Nesta's capabilities? So you also mean that since Cassian was going feral and wanted to save Nesta, it's a toxic behavior? Or it only applies to Azriel and Elain's situation? Or maybe anon, you should consider that that scene is meant to be romantic for Nessian and not for Gw*n and Az. That certain scene was there to show HOW MATES would react on whatever danger comes for their mate. Cassian cares for Nesta and will die for her, he literally went feral to save her. So is Rhysand who will protect Feyre at all cost.

If you think of it, sjm writes her endgame couple in a way where they trust their mate but also WANTED TO SAVE them or keep them from any darkness:

Cassian trusts Nesta but still worries over her and literally wanted to save her. Canon. So is Feysand.

Azriel trusts Elain's capabilities by handling her the TT, yes, but also he goes feral when she's in danger or will be exposed to one. Sounds to me as mate behavior.

I don't know about you, but a male who didn't even fret when his "girl" is facing danger, is so bland for me. Azriel being protective of Elain is toxic for you because you don't want to acknowledge that Az cares for Elain more than he should. And he never showed it towrds Gw*n. And pls let's not bring his duty to save her when she's been SAd, it's not something we should romanticized.

#anon asks #anti gw*nriel #elriel #pro elriel

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gwynrielsupremacy · 3 years

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Azriel surprises Gwyn for her birthday PART. 6

Guys just so you know i need to think of a better name for this bc like THIS IS GETTING BIIIIG (I have a playlist on spotify called "what would gwynriel sing" and i think i'll draw inspiration from there lol)

IT'S GWYN'S POV AGAIN (and this one's a little shorter lol i'm sorry... Rhys is in this chapter bc i honestly share the headcanon that Gwyn and Rhys would be close friends!)

MY GIRLS: @starbornsinger @madie2200 @katiebellf here it is!! And check out the Chapter List here

Gwyn couldn’t deny. She was nervous. That morning the words just rushed out about leaving the library, because she truly felt inspired by Diane’s words. She had spent the previous night awake, even if Emerie and Nesta had long fallen asleep, thinking about what she had to do next. She was feeling braver. Maybe it was because that was the best birthday she had since Sangravah, or perhaps ever, due to the circumstances. She still missed Catrin like crazy during the day, still felt that familiar ache in her chest when she worked at the library in the afternoon, or went training in the morning. But somehow, after everything that has happened in the evening, the lingering image of her sister started being more of a comfort, a companion, than the sorrow and guilt she was accustomed to.

Still, she was nervous.

She did really want to leave the library, and Clotho seemed happy, maybe even proud, to let her go. Merrill didn’t care as long as she kept working for her, at least a couple hours a day. One day, Gwyn thought that would change too. But for now, one step at a time. The night she went to the Town House and dined with the Inner Circle was one of many small steps Gwyn’s been giving these last few months towards more autonomy, independence, and strength. Towards the life she wanted for herself. And now, the day where she decided to move out of the library was the day she took another one.

And Azriel… Honestly, she thought she would be more scared about the prospect of having a mate than she actually did. Most of all, she was happy. She felt lucky and had the confidence that if anything were to happen between the two of them, they would take it slow, at her pace. She wouldn’t have it any other way. That if Azriel were to find out about the bond any time soon; or if she would summon enough courage to tell him. Because if he did know, he would’ve said something by now, wouldn’t he?

Yep. She was very nervous.

What she dreaded the most was the fact that Azriel, well, he may not feel the same once he found out. The Cauldron could be wrong, after all. And all these last months of getting closer to each other, training in companionable silence, laughing together, bantering… She was more than grateful for their friendship, but she knew that Azriel still had some things to figure out – about Elain. If he truly still felt something towards her, that was enough to strain Gwyn’s hopes for the moment. To maintain the quiet feeling to herself, and what it meant; that she was indeed worthy of happiness not only alone, but with another one.

She tried to push all those feelings aside as she was getting ready for dinner at the River House, the High Lady and Lord’s official estate. She looked at herself in the mirror, spinning side to side. It wasn’t much – after all, she didn’t have any clothes besides her robes, nightgowns and training leathers – but the outfit the House provided was more than enough. Her baggy turquoise linen pants and her white, loose crop top made her extremely comfortable, even if the latter was slightly shorter than what she was accustomed to.

She still wore the necklace Azriel re-gifted her. When he told her a few months back about the whole story, she truly understood him. He was in a bad place at the time, but so did she. And even if he had indeed made a mistake, she was glad to have it now. To know that someone gave it to her willingly, that was the thought she held on to. First person considered or not. And besides, it looked great against her freckled skin.

A gentle knock on the door of her new bedroom sounded. “Gwyn, you ready?”

“Yeah, come in”

Nesta opened the door and something sparked in her eyes as she stared at Gwyn through the mirror.

“You look beautiful, girl”

She spun on her heels and smiled at Nesta.

“I do, don’t I?”

They both laughed as they linked their arms and left the room.

“So” Nesta begun, as they walked towards the main entrance together “How are you settling in?”

“It’s very cozy, and I just love that view. The House is providing me everything I need at the moment. Thank you for inviting me to stay.” She gave her sister a grateful smile

“Well, I was serious; you can stay with us for as long as you want.”

“That means a lot.” Gwyn couldn’t contain her smile as she gently nudged her head against her sister’s.

“Don’t mention. I know you’d do the same for me.” And Nesta was right. Without thinking twice, Gwyn would have done the same for both of her newfound sisters. She was so grateful and thrilled their paths had crossed this way.

“By the way” Nesta mentioned innocently when they reached the common area “The room you chose, well, that’s three doors up from Azriel’s. If you have a problem with that, feel free to say it.”

And as she was summoning his presence, that was the moment the Shadowsinger came to vision, talking to Cassian in the balcony – waiting for them.

Gwyn drew on a breath, staring straight at him. When he caught her eye, she couldn’t help her smile. And when his eyes glittered, scanning her from head to toe, she answered quietly to her sister:

“No. I think that’ll be fine.”

*******

The River House was beautiful. Gwyn admired it as the four of them stood by the front door. It was big, but the decoration made it seem comfortable and cozy, despite its size. A true home, Gwyn thought.

Feyre opened the door, a warm smile instantly on her face.

“Come in!”

As soon as they stepped on the entrance hall, Gwyn marveled at the big painting on display. It was a portrait of Nesta as she held the line at the Pass of Enalius. Her cunning eyes seemed to look directly at anyone who came in, daring and challenging. “This is amazing.” She said, tearing her eyes from the image at last and looking at Feyre. Cassian and Nesta had already entered the living room and Azriel stood by the doorway, lingering.

Feyre was still smiling at her when she answered. “Thank you very much, Gwyn. I have others I can show you later, if you’d like.”

“I would love to. You have a beautiful home.” And she could barely conceal the emotion in her eyes as Feyre held her hand and sighed gratefully. She, maybe more than anyone, was well aware of how lucky she was to have such a family.

“We do.”

It was just when she reached the living room and beheld all of those who Feyre and Rhysand loved the most she felt Azriel’s presence still a few steps behind her, his eyes fixed upon her. A tendril of shadow curled up slightly at her wrist, as if saying We’re here. So she looked back for half a second before entering further into the room, only enough to meet his cryptic gaze and give him a half-smile. And couldn’t help the sparkling feeling in her chest when he gave her a reassuring nod.

*****

The night was going on peacefully. Gwyn didn’t say much, and it was rather content in observe. That way, she didn’t feel exposed, and also could get to know the Inner Circle better: their dynamics and bantering, how they acted around each other and discussed both serious and light topics. Elain, for example, was sitting in a chair in the corner, drink in hand. She only joined for dinner, ate quietly and then excused herself from the table for a long time. Rhys and Feyre took turns in watching Nyx, since this evening he went to sleep early. Emerie and Mor were having what seemed to be a very intimate conversation, knees touching and heads close, and Nesta and Cassian, well… They were being their usual selves.

And then she landed her eyes on the Shadowsinger. He was definitely the quietest of them all, even if during dinner he had participated in the more serious subjects of conversation and exchanged a few casual words with Gwyn. She could observe enough to notice he didn’t once glance at Elain, or her at him, and that they kept their distance. He actually seemed to have spent the evening doing the same thing Gwyn was, which was observing; except for him it was natural, a second skin. He certainly had enough time these hundred years to know well about the rest of his family, while she was doing that precisely to learn more about them. If it was easy for her to be like this, for him was instinct.

She couldn't stop but detain herself on the details of his face, though, as he now spoke to Mor, who had subtly approached him. He wore that inexpressive mask, but she could see the way his brows were slightly furrowed, his jaw set just slightly... There was something concerning him, making him uneasy. She wondered, maybe for the tenth time, when she would tell him. Or if she should let him find out by himself. And again, her heart fluttered as he put his hands in his pockets and nodded along, listening to Mor.

How could the Cauldron have chosen this? To have defined them as mates... He was the one who saved her, who’d seen her low, who helped her at the very worst moment of her life. And although she would be forever grateful for it, she was aware he had enough on his plate – to burden him with her feelings... She didn't know what to do. It was at that moment their eyes locked across the room. She didn't realize she had still been staring, and quickly darted her eyes away.

Only to meet with Rhysand’s staring at her from across the table.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry.

Oh, shit. Shit. Gwyn contained her gasp. He heard her. She didn't know for how long, but he could read her thoughts.

I was just going to ask you if you were feeling okay.

She knew what he meant. But still...

"Please. Please don’t say a word". She managed to whisper to that presence in her mind.

He doesn't know? She could feel his curiosity. Although they were still staring at each other, his face yielded nothing.

"I don't think so. Please, just…"

Don't worry, Gwyn. I won't tell him.

She could've cried in relieve. "Thank you."

He only nodded at her and raised his glass, and she could feel his presence fading from her mind.

*****

When they arrived at the House of Wind, a few hours later, Gwyn was still a little uneasy. She needed to learn how to shield her mind properly; even if she felt she trusted Rhys’s word, she couldn’t feel relaxed at the thought that someone else knew about what she’d only recently discovered and were still trying to figure out.

She could barely stare at Azriel when they flew all the way back. They remained silent all the way to the House of Wind, and her gaze remained fixed on the city landscape below them, or on the skies above. Never on him or their closeness, even if she’d caught him glancing at her a few times. They landed just a few minutes after Nesta and Cassian. When she meant to let go of his hand, he held it just for a moment longer:

“Did you have fun tonight?”

She nodded, managing to bring a smile upon her face. She didn’t want him to see how nervous she was; they were never like that around each other.

“A lot. Your family is very…”

“Extravagant?”

“I was going to say kind. But they might be a little extravagant, too.”

The corner of his lips tugged upward, and she let out a quiet laugh. “Are you going to sleep now?”

“In a few hours, maybe. I think I’ll hit the training ring first.”

She nodded. His shadows swirled a little at his shoulders. She seemed to forget about her nervousness for a second as she noticed his slightly furrowed brows, as if he was concentrating: “You know you don’t have to restrain them, if it tires you.”

“They should behave better.” It was all he grunted back, slightly annoyed at his dancing shadows.

“Well, I don’t mind at all. I like them. So at least around me, you shouldn’t worry about it.”

The seconds her eyes held his stare were enough to make Gwyn feel like she could burst – or touch him, again. So she turned away and smiled over her shoulder. “Goodnight, Az.”

All she felt before reaching the stairway was a tendril of shadow gently curling around her arm.

#would you please forgive me if i forgot about something canon like gwyn's mind shielding #is just this is mine now and that interaction between rhys and gwyn would be so cute and like UNDERSTANDING aw #this is fanfiction after all #ok more gwynriel now #me venting through tags #pls sjm make this canon #i live for gwynriel #azriel x gwyn #did someone ask for gwynriel moments #gwyns birthday #gwynriel supremacy #gwynriel #gwynriel headcanon

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gopeachllama · 3 years

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just think about it: sjm is most likely writing acotar 5 right at this moment 😳

#acotar #acotar 5 #sjm #pls dont fuck it up #elriel #proelriel #elriel antis dni #elain #azriel #i will literally never say a bad word about sjm ever again if she makes elriel canon

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gimme-mor · 3 years

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ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN ARCHERON, UNTOUCHABLE

*DISCLAIMER*

This will be a long post.

Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter and bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom.

The reason I am tagging “Elriel” in this post is to call attention to the arguments in the Elriel fandom that: weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions about Elain’s character and her relationship with Lucien; victimize Elain’s character in fandom discussions; and coddle Elain’s character, which limits fandom discussions about her narrative development and prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions in the same way that the fandom holds other characters accountable for their actions and inactions. It is for these reasons that I WILL NOT remove the “Elriel” tag from this post because all of the above points contribute to the toxic discourse surrounding Elain’s character.

I urge those who use these arguments to understand their implications, why they are problematic, regardless of intent, and reexamine their contributions to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.

Also, I highly encourage the Elriel fandom to read this post because it addresses how the concept of choice as an argument enables arguments to exploit social justice and feminist languge in order to vilify Elucien shippers, among other problematic things.

Elain Archeron is one of the most polarizing characters in the ACOTAR fandom. Though opinions about Elain vary, arguments in the Elriel fandom cite society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters as the reason behind the hate, and this belief is used to provide an explanation as to why other characters in the series are favored over her. In the series, Elain is portrayed in a wholly positive light and this image carries over into the Elriel fandom, painting her character as a good and kind female who has been unfairly wronged and a victim of circumstances that were out of her control. When arguments in the Elriel fandom oppose other viewpoints in the fandom, they fall into one of three categories:

Category 1: Weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions

Maybe people who hate Elain are just jealous of her in a weird way similar to when someone hates the pretty, nice, and charming girl in school just because she is too perfect

Disliking Elain is misogynistic

What happened to feminism? What happened to women supporting women? What happened to she can say no? All of that disappears the second you force Elain to be with Lucien

Elain antis are misogynistic

All Eluciens are Elain antis

Antis claiming they’re feminists when in reality they hate on Elain and Feyre but love Nesta

Elain antis are such sore losers. Y’all were that bunch of people who could not get over being rejected from hanging out with the cool kids so y’all are projecting your hatred towards pretty people now to get validation

I don’t get how Elain’s love for gardening equals boring for some people. I’m sorry your misogyny finds traditionally feminine activities boring

Why are you attacking a female? What did Elain do? Where are your feminist voices?

The fandom is misogynistic towards Elain

If people loved Elain they would ship Elriel

If you hate Elain it says a lot about your feelings toward women

If you hate Elain because she has no “development” then you must hate Azriel because otherwise you’re misogynistic

Eluciens are turned off by the idea of a woman that has the autonomy to reject a man for the simple reason that it is her choice

Eluciens are all about feminism and “it’s HER choice” until it comes down to females not wanting a male

Eluciens don’t respect Elain’s feelings when they ship her with someone that was part of her trauma and makes her feel uncomfortable

The way some Elucien shippers completely disregard how uncomfortable Elain is around Lucien is so hilariously not funny. Prioritizing being mates over Elain’s feelings is just regressive

It’s hard as a fan of Elain to see someone ship her with a person who makes her physically uncomfortable to be around. Wouldn’t you want both characters to be happy to be around each other

Imagine if SJM saw all the awful things her “stans” had to say about Elain

It’s true that we know comparatively little about her, but is she really boring or do you just not value stereotypically feminine traits?

So y’all are just gonna tell me you prefer Elucien over Elriel? Even though Lucien treats Elain as if she’s something that belongs to him? The only reason he wants to be with her is because she’s his mate, he doesn’t respect her, doesn’t treat her as his equal, even though that’s what mates should be? He doesn’t bother to look past what’s on the outside to see her for who she is. And Elain is obviously repulsed by the idea that she should belong to anyone or have no choice in who she can be with. Azriel is her friend and the only person who sees her quiet strength. He has so much faith in her, in her abilities; he’s the one who kept her company when no one else did, he’s the only one who bothered to see her for more than her brokenness. You’re going to tell me you still prefer Elucien over Elriel?

The more I see Gwynriels that ship Elucien out of their hate for Elain, the less I can understand Elain stans that ship Elucien. Pls Elain has made it very clear that she doesn’t want Lucien, why would you ship her with him? Do you hate her too? Smh

The real question would be, if you care and understand Elain why would you ship her with Lucien (where she canonically shrinks when he is near)?

People crying over Helion and Lucien’s mom not getting to be with each other and her being forced into a relationship she didn’t want, but also ship Elucien? Just say you hate Elain

When Elain’s book is out, Gwyn stans will look like clowns and I will laugh because they set her up by shipping her with Azriel just because they hate Elain. Watch them play the victims now because Elriels are clapping back the hate they’ve sent towards Elain

As romantic as wanting girl who is visibly uncomfortable around a guy who caused her trauma to end up with the said guy. Guess their standards for romance are in hell

Category 2: Victimize Elain’s character

Gwynriels only want Gwyn with Azriel because they despise Elain

Gwyn stans and Gwynriels are Elain antis

No one in the books dislike Elain, so why are there so many people who do?

Elain hasn’t done anything wrong or questionable to warrant the hate she gets

Not having Elain’s POV makes it easy for people to be swayed a certain way about her character if you already don’t relate to her in some way

It’s been years since this series came out and we haven’t gotten a lick of an Elain POV, but people still hate her for what? We don’t know her thoughts, dreams, or aspirations

We haven’t even had Elain’s perspective yet and people are passing these judgments off on her

Elain antis who say she’s boring are just cruel when she has obvious symptoms of PTSD like Feyre and Nesta

Gwyn is one of the most overhyped characters and that’s only because most people hate Elain and they couldn’t wait to find a random girl to ship Azriel with

Nesta was abusive to her sisters but Elain (who has only ever been kind) is painted as the villain

From the text we know that Elain is the epitome of feminine stereotypes (gentle, gardening, baking, non confrontational for the most part). Yet people still call her boring or deny that she has any interesting character traits?

You can’t love Nesta and hate Elain

People hate Elain because of internalized misogyny and lack of taste. All the girl does is tend to her garden and mind her business and they treat her worse than Tamlin

Does Gwyn deserve all this support? Of course yes! She is amazing! But where’s that support when Elain was in the same situation as she? Where’s that support for her right now? Why do they idolize Gwyn for her interactions with Azriel and hate Elain for having any interaction with him?

It’s not even a ship war anymore, they just hate Elain

People hate Elain for no reason

Some of y’all don’t like feminine traits and it shows

We know less about Eris and Helion but people don’t call them boring. Why would rejecting femininity make Elain more interesting?

Elain has had a lot forced upon her

The main reason I believe most people love Gwyn so much is to get Azriel away from Elain. It’s not a secret that Elain has been a widely hated character for years so suddenly we get a new female who has a minimal amount of interactions with Azriel and BOOM. New ship that once again doesn’t make sense (just like Azriel x Emerie after ACOFAS)

Elain hasn’t done something so terrible for her to get this hate. At this point some of you are just being misogynistic and you don’t want to accept it. Don’t call yourselves feminists and then say bs like this, it’s embarrassing. She’s pretty and everyone agreed to hate on her

Just a personal feeling, but I feel like a lot of the Elain hate stems from internalized misogyny. That to be a strong female lead, you need to pick up a sword and fight. That to be strong, you need to adapt traditionally masculine traits

Elain is feminine. She is beautiful. She loves to bake and garden. She is docile, quiet, observant, and a people-pleaser. All traditionally feminine traits. Yet for some reason, she’s like the worst in these people’s eyes?

I think also maybe a lot of people can’t relate to her femininity? That her being so beautiful and quiet doesn’t allow for the people who dislike her not to self-insert? Most of the hate stems from people not wanting Elain to be with Azriel. It’s mean, but maybe the people who hate Elain literally just can’t self-insert if they have a story and that’s why they’re vehemently against it?

Poor Elain. The Cauldron dealt her a bad deal. Upon emerging as Fae, she is immediately declared by Lucien as his mate, never mind that she was already engaged to a prick. Her love life is not good

It blows my mind how they really think that they can compare all the shit that Elain gets with some dumb jokes about Gwyn on Twitter (and yes, the “hate” towards her started mostly because Elriels are clapping back, it was bound to happen)

I would think of it as anti-feminist with Elain and Lucien because she has consistently stated that she does not want him so if she was forced to embrace the bond that would be taking away her right to have a choice but with Az she feels comfortable around so if they were mates then Elain would be happy and feel safe which again should be the priority for women to feel safe in their relationships with anything and to not be forced into any type of situation aka the mating bond in this

Category 3: Coddle Elain’s character

Elain has value the way she is, in all her domestic girly glory. Not every character has to be badass

We don’t speak of Elain’s flaws frequently because everyone else already speaks badly of her, mainly in an unfair way

There is definitely something deeper going on with Elain but by no means will she ever be evil or any less feminine. That goes against everything we already know about her

It’s ok to critique Elain because she needs growth but y’all keep forgetting the shit her and her sisters went through

The last “bad” thing Elain did in ACOTAR was not help Feyre when they were impoverished and I’m tired of people acting like she’s a terrible character when it was their father’s responsibility. It happened 4 books ago and Feyre has forgiven both Nesta and Elain

Elain’s character and the evil Elain theory are a great example of the trend where people only consider female characters interesting if they reject femininity

We don’t know enough to hate Elain

Many people want Elain to turn evil (which in my opinion seems to come from a place of internalized misogyny)

However we don’t tend to talk about her faults, at least not publicly, as that has been, and still is, done to death, and I--personally, at least--find it much more fun to theorise about potentially interesting aspects of the overall plot, than dwell on negatives

And ultimately, I would be shocked if Elain has a more karmically-charged story than Nesta, considering that Elain’s “wrongs” are so much less severe and bad than Nesta’s, and Elain has already apologized for them (or paid the price in other ways, like through what Graysen did)

I guess I also think Elain has suffered and been punished enough. I hope her story is about finding hope in terrible situations, and learning to love her new life, and choosing her own path after everything that has been done to her. I don’t think she needs to be punished anymore or face any additional trauma

Also, why is she being judged on her decisions as a human at all? Fae are monsters to humans! They enslaved them for thousands of years, and the Wall was erected to keep them out

Like I’m sorry, but think Elain would want to leave her ONLY FAMILY AND FRIENDS for the Spring Court where she has no one because--oh look, lots of flowers!--is the craziest thing I have ever heard

Her sisters are in the Night Court. Her nephew is in the Night Court. Her closest friends (Nuala and Cerridwen) are in the Night Court. Her love interest is in the Night Court. Her extended family is in the Night Court. Her home is in the Night Court

SJM isn’t going to keep two sisters together and split up the third. Especially not keep Feyre and Nesta together and separate Elain. They were either all going to end up in separate places, or together. Not 2 here and 1 there

Compared to the other female characters in the series, Elain is the only character whose femalehood is at the center of conversations; this is because arguments in the Elriel fandom fixate on it when discussing her character. While Elain, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor are all representations of white womanhood and white beauty, Elain epitomizes the most fragile version of white womanhood. It’s easy to blame society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elain’s character because it: falls in line with the fixation on Elain’s femalehood to silence opposing viewpoints; is a simplistic explanation that fails to tackle the underlying issues with Elain as a character, the same issues that are downplayed in-universe; absolves Elain of her wrongdoings; prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions within the series; and diminishes the impact Elain’s actions and inactions have on those around her. It’s not that Elain is hated in the fandom because she’s a traditional female character; it’s the fact that arguments in the Elriel fandom deflect a critical analysis of Elain’s character because she’s a traditional female character who embodies the ideal white woman in need of protection. White fans and white-aligned fans of color, especially white women, have a tendency to vehemently defend, gatekeep, and coddle white female characters in fandom; this makes it difficult for other fans to engage in critical discussions about these white female characters because they’re viewed as flawless and all around perfect characters despite evidence to the contrary. Since Elain is viewed positively by the other characters in the series, it has rendered her character untouchable to any perceived slight or criticism in fandom discussions because those negative opinions challenge what has been said about her character thus far. And as a result, her character has been placed on a pedestal and implicitly hailed as the epitome of white womanhood; and when she’s criticized, it’s seen as a direct attack against white womanhood. Arguments in the Elriel fandom: exploit feminist language and perpetuate white feminist tactics under the guise of defending Elain’s character; center Elain in conversations about female oppression in the ACOTAR world and uphold white feminist ideologies in their critique of ACOTAR’s patriarchal society; and use the fragile white woman narrative to victimize Elain in Lucien’s presence, playing into racial biases that are associated with white supremacy’s defense of white womanhood.

Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. As feminism became more mainstream, a flat and oversimplified version of feminism emerged: mainstream feminism. The mainstream feminist movement is meant to represent all women, but rarely does it center conversations around issues that concern most women. The problem with mainstream feminism is that it’s just a popularized version of white feminism. White feminism has relied extensively on an individualized understanding of women’s oppression, exclusively from the lens of privileged white women. White feminism only focuses on the oppression experienced by white, able-bodied, affluent, educated, cishet women; and it views gender as the key mode of privileged white women’s oppression, isolated from the privileges granted by their other social identities. White women can be and are oppressed under the patriarchy but only because they are women; their identity as women does not exempt them from the privileges granted by their whiteness. The term white feminist does not mean any feminist who is white, but refers to feminists who prioritize the concerns of privileged white women as though they are representative of all women. However, the term is not exclusive to white people. Because white feminism is so pervasive, people of other racial and ethnic backgrounds often buy into white feminism, believing that if they work hard enough, they may be able to reap its rewards.

Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism only recognizes the identity of being a woman, assumes that all women share common experiences of gender oppression, fails to address other social identities in relation to overlapping systems of oppression, and disregards privilege in relation to various social identities. Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism is palatable because it doesn’t seek to challenge the systems in place, instead its goal is to succeed within them. Essentially, mainstream feminism and white feminism are extensions of performative feminism. Performative feminism is a type of performative activism that’s used to describe feminist views that are surface level and solely for the benefit of one type of person. It’s a pretense which often has nothing to do with genuine activism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom normalize and promote performative feminism because the topic of feminism is only referenced when discussing Elain. This indicates that these arguments are engaging in disingenuous discourse to push a personal agenda within the ACOTAR fandom, and it becomes more apparent when they use white feminist tactics to shut down opposing viewpoints:

White feminists weaponize and exploit feminist language to silence the opinions of other women, especially when they’re called out for their problematic behaviors

White feminists use the phrase “Women supporting women” to defend other white feminists who exhibit problematic behaviors instead of holding them accountable

White feminists weaponize phrases like “Women supporting women” and “You just hate women” to attack other women who disagree with them on any given topic

White feminists use phrases like “All women face challenges” and “Stop pitting women against each other” to sidestep conversations about privilege

White feminists divert conversations away from privilege and towards the Trauma Olympics to equate their struggles to the oppression of marginalized people

White feminists skirt around the realities of other forms of oppression and discrimination, downplaying the experiences of marginalized people

White feminists diminish or ignore the ways in which gender oppression affects other marginalized people

White feminists paint those they harmed as aggressive, mean, or divisive when confronted with the ways they have harmed a marginalized group

White feminists deflect criticism by focusing on the anger or emotions being expressed rather than the issue that is being discussed, invalidating the concerns of marginalized people

White feminists speak over marginalized voices in an attempt to sound “woke”

White feminists get defensive and insist there’s no way they could be a part of the problem because of what they’ve done to help marginalized groups already

White feminists say they don’t see color in an attempt to obscure racial issues that need to be addressed

White feminists center and victimize themselves in conversations about racism, which derails necessary conversations from taking place

White feminists who are white weaponize the intersectionality of their race and gender to avoid accountability

Feminism is not meant to be approached from an individualistic perspective nor is it only about addressing the experiences of privileged white women, it involves addressing the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and other social identities as well; and it involves addressing how these social identities relate to privilege. Moreover, feminism is not about women upholding complete loyalty to other women because of a shared gender identity, and to claim that it does implies that women should be held to different emotional standards than men. If men are able to dislike and criticize other individual men, real or fictional, without their characters being compromised, why aren’t women granted that same privilege?

It’s clear that SJM set up the ACOTAR world to mirror a patriarchal society, and that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom analyze the ACOTAR world through a feminist lens to show how ACOTAR’s patriarchal society, to which the mating bond is innately tied, contributes to female oppression and limits their agency. When choice and free will are emphasized as part of Elain’s arc, they imply that Elain, through the mating bond, experiences female oppression under ACOTAR’s patriarchal society because of her identity as a female with that identity being the focal point of her oppression in the world. Elain is one of the most privileged characters in the ACOTAR world: she’s High Fae; she’s the sister of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, which gives her access to wealth and political influence because of that connection; she’s able-bodied; she was magically blessed by the Cauldron; and she lives in Velaris, a place that grants females autonomy and power because of the beliefs of Rhysand and Feyre. Arguments in the Elriel fandom trivialize female oppression in the ACOTAR world because they disregard the fact that Elain’s privileges prevent her from experiencing female oppression in the same way that other marginalized females in the world do. The mating bond being one such example because those around Elain are not forcing the bond on her, instead they’re allowing Elain to reach a decision about the bond for herself; a privilege that other marginalized females in the world probably wouldn’t have. Just because Elain has endured hardships in her life and is a female in a patriarchal society, they do not erase the privileges she holds within the ACOTAR world. The failure to include Elain’s privileges in discussions about Elain being a female in a patriarchal society feeds into white feminist ideologies because white feminism operates from a very narrow perspective; it doesn’t take other intersecting identities into account when it examines gender oppression, leaving no room for discussions about privilege (or lack thereof) in relation to those intersecting identities. When discussing oppression in hierarchical societies, it’s imperative that privilege is also included in the conversation because privilege and oppression are not mutually exclusive; they equally affect the ways in which people navigate those societies through their social identities.

Rather than attributing Elain’s uncomfortability to her new life as a Fae female or the mating bond itself and her trauma to the Cauldron, the King of Hybern, or Ianthe, they’re placed on Lucien to cast his character in a negative light. Moreover, fandom discussions portray Lucien as a possessive character to further emphasize Elain’s discomfort despite the inaccuracy of this characterization in canon. Arguments in the Elriel fandom play into racial biases when it comes to Lucien (a male character of color) because they mischaracterize his character in order to victimize Elain (a white female character), placing her character in the role of the white damsel in distress. In Western society, the concept of womanhood has been conceptualized from a Eurocentric perspective with femininity and feminine attributes favoring white women. It’s the idea that a certain type of femininity is only inherent to white women as they are seen as the embodiment of an ideal womanhood. White womanhood has been a symbol of innocence and purity, and white women have been viewed as fragile beings in need of protection. The reason white womanhood functions within white supremacy is because it’s the same idea that has motivated white men to kill and beat black and brown men. The so-called protection of white women has been used as a justification for the horrific violence committed by white men because black and brown men were stereotyped as aggressive and seen as a threat to the virtue of white women. The white damsel in distress trope considered white women as worthy of protection because of their perceived innocence and purity; women of color were not granted that same treatment because they did not fit into the ideal image of womanhood. Over the years, this trope became a means for white women to exercise limited power in a patriarchal society with white women weaponizing their status as the damsel much to the detriment of black and brown men. It’s through the white damsel in distress trope that white supremacy sustains its dominance in Western society. The misrepresentation of characters of color in fandom, the dismissal of their importance to the overall story, and using them as tools in arguments centered around white characters are the foundation of fandom racism; they’re examples of how racism moves silently in fandom spaces. Instead of examining their behavior and taking constructive criticism from fans of color, white fans will often double down on their bigotry and center their uncomfortability in the conversation when confronted with their complicity in fandom racism. White fans expect fans of color to swallow fandom racism in its many forms in order to not ruin the experience of fandom, dismissing the fact that racism is prevalent in nearly every aspect of society. This mentality ensures that no one is held accountable for the harm they caused and alienates fans of color in fandom spaces.

To reiterate what I mentioned in my first think piece: terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. Being an ally, activist, or feminist is not an identity, it’s a practice. It requires: ongoing self-reflection; holding ourselves accountable; listening to marginalized people; educating ourselves; dismantling implicit biases; challenging those around us who are exhibiting problematic behaviors; and action behind our words.

It’s important to be aware of the language that is used within the fandom when defending or critiquing characters and ships. It’s also important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate?

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Tagging: @spell-cleavers @bookofmirth @m0bulidae @ilya-boltagon

#elain archeron #elriel #acotar fandom #acotar: fandom critical

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bookofmirth · 2 years

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I don't understand people who ship gwyn with eris or lucien or balthazar or tarquin while saying gwynriel doesn't have enough of build-up to be a couple and shipping them isn't ok????? you all literally throwing her onto men she had never even met while trying to guilt trip us for shipping her with a man she had on-page interactions and canonically comfortable around!!! how does it work?? not to mention most of them perfectly fine with shipping mor and emerie, I love emorie too, but let's not be hypocrites, they had no real interactions in the book!!! and god damn it for the people who pretend to care so much about textual evidence and sjm's interviews can they pls stop ignoring the fact that sarah said gwyn is not a child and not a teenager, she is grown ass woman, like, in our human twenties, just like the archeron sisters and she also gave us a hint in the same live she's going to write about her in the next books too, she's not disappearing anywhere

It's the "you can't ship this and here are the moral reasons why" that kills me. How about those people go sit on a tack and I'll keep on shipping whomever and whatever I want. 😌

"It makes me uncomfortable" or "I don't like it" are perfectly valid reasons for not shipping something. People keep trying to cross the line and tell others what they should feel, though, and they're trying to put it into moral terms. It's nasty.

"I don't ship Gwyn and Az because he trains her and he's in power over her" well sorry you live in an alternate reality where nessian didn't just spend all of acosf in that exact same dynamic, and it's literally untrue that Az has power over Gwyn, but okay. You do you.

"People who ship Az and Gwyn are supporting an unhealthy relationship because x, y, and z" lol no. Fuck off. It's so easy to just talk about one's own feelings, and not try to shame others about theirs. So easy.

Mor and Emerie literally didn't talk, they were super far apart from one another when Emerie saw her, and we all know - we aren't going to pretend to be stupid - that that's reason enough to ship them, because we can ship whomever we want for whatever reason we want.

she also gave us a hint in the same live she's going to write about her in the next books too, she's not disappearing anywhere

I've been meaning to bring this up again - not only did Sarah say that Gwyn is not a freaking child, she said something about thinking of Gwyn in diapers when she writes her in the future (as a joke, in an "I can't believe this" kind of way.) Gwyn isn't gone. There are multiple possible hints in acosf that she won't stay in the library.

Imo a lot of what you mentioned here comes down to people being super inconsistent in their engagement with fandom and canon. And I admit that there is a lot of crossover, obviously we are in a fandom basing all this content on canon, but it's the inconsistency between recognizing what is canon, and realizing that we are in a fandom, which is inherently going to diverge.

#acotar fandom #ask #anon

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elriell · 3 years

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hey bestie! as an elriel stan what do you think about sarah's live with steph? people aka gwynriel stans have been talking and dragging us because she is an 'adult' plus az sings. where do you stan? pls give us some hope. love u x

Heyyyyy!! ❤

So slight disclaimer, I haven’t actually watched it, I quite frankly haven’t had time or desire because of work etc... but I got a recap. I will summarise with the fact that nothing diminishes my hope of Elriel because they will be endgame.

No silly little bias questions are changing all the canon evidence, and all SJM’s words/lives over the years.

I think if anything it cements my feelings of the fact Steph is a biased host and caters to her own whims rather than the general readers which you would think you would try to be a little impartial (Especially when you make claims it won’t be ship related lol). But she just seems childish, to me at least.

I am not bothered though, it is her live/insta and quite frankly when I don’t like something/someone I just stop interacting with it (exactly like me not watching it at all) I know it isn’t going to be enjoyable and her character is not for me so I simply ignore it and move on.

Which is pretty standard for me in general.

That is a pretty wide view of my thoughts, if you have any specific ones feel free to ask though with the fact I haven’t watched it I might not be able to reply to your satisfaction.

You have nothing to fear, Elriel is in no danger and hasn't been for years, have patience and prevail my lovely xx

All my loveeeeeee

#sjm live #m for ts #replies #elriel

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ncssian · 4 years

Text

the perfect male

A/N: this is a verrry messy, unedited drabble that i wanted to post just for fun. i really like this scene concept and am planning to rework a much better version of it into a full-length fic later, but these are just my initial thoughts/ideas.

Description: Cassian learns who Nesta’s perfect guy is, and it’s not him. Crossover AU.

***

Cool air drifted off the Sidra, entangling with Nesta's scent and the sound of her laugh as she and Cassian made their way down the riverwalk.

"And you?" Cassian nudged Nesta with an elbow. "What's your idea of the perfect male?"

Nesta leaned into Cassian as they walked, her arm tucked into the crook of his elbow. "Oh, I already have the perfect male."

Cassian raised his brows in question and surprise.

"Hunt Athalar," she said simply.

Cassian almost choked on river air. "The captain of the 33rd Legion? The half-angel half-demon with the--?" He wiggled his fingers to indicate lightning.

"That's him."

"Doesn't he kind of look like..." Cassian trailed off.

 Nesta narrowed her eyes at Cassian. "Don't flatter yourself. I knew Hunt years before I even met you. He's always been my ideal backup male."

"Backup male?"

"You know," Nesta trailed. "The person you turn to when people in your life inevitably let you down. I always keep one on speed-dial; they're cheaper than ice cream and therapy."

Now Cassian was really intrigued. "And how does Hunt Athalar qualify to be the perfect backup male?"

"For starters, the perfect male is always there for me. He provides companionship and understanding and good sex during times of crisis, and I provide the same for him when necessary. He's always on my side, which is never difficult because he isn't a part of my usual social circle. There's no chance of him having loyalties or duties that conflict with his loyalty to me."

Cassian could visualize her checklist of needs in his mind, and he could see even clearer how he didn't meet any of those needs. He swallowed. "And you thought the son of the Star-Eater was the best choice of backup male?"

Nesta shrugged, as if Athalar's heritage meant nothing to her. "He understands me." She nudged Cassian's bicep with her head at that. "You know how hard it is for me to find people that can do that." Something in Cassian twisted at that, because yes, he did know. It was visible every time she blended into the background at a dinner party or family event.

He tried to come up with a comment that didn't reveal his utter incompetency. "That sounds...hard to top."

"It's not," she said, refusing to look at him as they walked. Her voice had hardened imperceptibly. "People just don't want to bother to put in the effort. That's why I need a backup male in the first place." She might as well have stabbed him in the chest and walked away. Even then, her logic wasn't clicking with him.

"If Athalar's so perfect, then why is he a backup?" Cassian said. "Why don't you just make him your boyfriend?"

Nesta's answering smile told him there were some things that he would never understand. "He's not it for me. Don't you hate it when that happens, when a perfect person comes along and you just know it can never work out with them?"

Cassian watched Nesta closely from the corner of his eye, how she walked and talked as if she was completely oblivious to how her words shook his earth. "I think I'm beginning to understand," he said, so low she must have missed it.

Cassian didn't know what to do with everything Nesta had handed to him. All this time, he'd thought he wasn't worthy of her because he was a bastard. In reality, he wasn't worthy of her because he was a dick. Nesta wanted--needed-- an ally, and he couldn't even provide her with that basic necessity. Not while he still worked for Rhys and Feyre.

They reached the door to her apartment building and slowed to a stop. Nesta's arm slid from Cassian's, the act unintentionally fanning the flames of his anger. Not at her, never her, but at himself. How was he incapable of providing her with something so simple as friendship and understanding?

"Cassian?" The sound of his name from her voice snapped him out of his head. "Are you alright?" Her face was as withdrawn as ever, but Cassian had watched her for long enough to notice the furrow of concern in her brow.

Cassian blinked. "Just thinking," he said. He needed to try--for her if not for himself. Not that Nesta needed him, clearly.

"Um," he tried to collect his scattered thoughts into a comprehensive sentence, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. Nesta only raised an eyebrow as she patiently waited for him to pull his shit together.

"Crescent City is pretty far from here," he finally said, dumbly.

"I'm aware," Nesta said.

"So if you ever need ice cream and therapy in this city..." He felt stupider by the second. "I'm free."

He rushed on before Nesta could smile politely and shoot him down. "I know I don't even meet, like, half the things on your list, but it doesn't have to be like that. I can--I can try...to be whatever you need," he finished weakly.

Nesta was frowning, now, in that way she did whenever she was taken aback. Cassian wished desperately he could read her beyond that.

It was quiet between them for the longest time. Slowly, very slowly, Nesta nodded. "I'll think about it," she said carefully. She didn't sound like she was lying to be nice.

Cassian wanted to tremble with relief. All she'd said was that she would consider confiding in him more often. "Okay," he breathed. "Okay."

"So...next time I date a shitty guy or get into a fight with my sister..."

"I'll be there," Cassian finished. "I'll be there." He couldn't stop repeating himself.

Nesta seemed to think about it a second longer. Finally, she reached for the building door.

"It's a difficult job," she warned him as she pulled the door open. "No benefits, and you'll have to work overtime to prove yourself."

"Good." He wasn't about to half-ass the once in a lifetime opportunity he'd just been given.

Nesta nodded one final time, and just before she slipped through the door and went inside, Cassian thought he saw the hint of a confused smile on her lips.

a/n: i wrote this at 2 am with my eyes half-closed sorry. i saw a theory on tumblr that said hunt’s father is the star-eater and it’s pretty much canon for me at this point. also credit to those who recommended hunt be nesta’s ‘backup’ guy, b/c that was interesting to write.

tagging: @sjm-things @ladywitchling @nikolai-lantsovs-bitch @thewayshedreamed, tell me if u wanna be removed at any time pls

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian fic #ncssianwrites #au #nesta

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