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#plz laugh tho
dreamsicle262 · 9 months
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hey yk that one vine with the guy looking at a girl vaping or smth and then turning his head towards the camera and saying 'wow'
yeah that's dazai in the latest prison arc episode apparently
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dangerliesbeforeyou · 9 months
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ok so I just went to my notes app to write down some story ideas & found this note that I apparently wrote at 3:17am several weeks ago
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and like... I vaguely remember having a thought about a dick being able to suck things up like a vacuum cleaner and at the time I found it so hilarious i had to immortalise it in writing but honestly realising I had written it incorrectly has me in sTItchEs now lol
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pekodayz · 10 months
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what if the new movie is like hipipo oh god
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budgieio · 1 year
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It's a good sign when when when I am laughing and then it turns into a wheeze choking cough and like it doesn't feel great thats a good sign right
idk what you were laughing about but if it got that reaction about you it must have been good
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atlasofearth · 1 month
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the ao3 author curse is sooo real bc why’d my grandma just die 😐😐
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tradingjackbs · 6 months
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Trying to sleep but I can't stop thinking about the time I had a pt who was being a dickhead and only wanted girl nurses and docs touching them, and they threw a fit when the guy doc wanted to check their legs for trauma bc they "didn't want any of that gay shit"
But the only other people in the room were me and another nurse so I offered to help, and luckily I'm at a point in my transitioning where my voice is pretty much a baritone and I'm growing some facial hair already, but im staying non-op
So they asked if I was a girl and I said "sure" in my deep ass voice while also clearly having tits and they got so confused they shut up for the rest of the physical exam. Most gender affirming moment of my life tbh
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norrizzandpia · 8 days
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this might have to be more than one part, but can you please write a wrong number lando fic? like lando texts the wrong number somehow and they end up becoming good friends, they start falling for each other but lando lies about his identity the whole time until they meet or he tells the reader. and she’s pissed and she doesn’t know anything about f1 anyways so she doesn’t understand why he lied. with angst and stuff? idk if this is too specific or too much to ask!
Wrong Number, Right Person (LN4)
Summary: A wrong number leads Lando right to Y/n, but even the beautiful love they find together struggles to stand a chance against Lando’s lie of identity.
Warnings: none, BUT A HAPPY ENDING!!! Y/n’s bsf threatens to kill lando lol
Note: she is LONG! The word count is almost 9k oml but i have to say that @piastrification was a major help in making this because she read it for me and made it read less stupid! She also gave me some ideas so credit to her for that xx
If there was any moment where Y/n was beyond confused with absolutely no inkling of an answer, it was now. She stared down at her phone, clutching the device as she read over the message sitting on her Lock Screen over and over.
“What’s wrong?” Her best friend, Annie, asked. Her eyebrows were scrunched together in a way she had always done since they were kids, Y/n loved the way that had never changed. The two women had experienced so much growth over the years, but it was heartwarming to see some things hadn’t.
Her eyes flickered to Annie before turning her phone around, “Why does this person think I’m supposed to be meeting them in half an hour?”
Annie laughed out loud, taking the phone from the other girl’s hands and typing out a reply, “Seems like this poor person has the wrong number.”
When Y/n’s phone is returned to her grasp, she giggles at what Annie had done.
Unknown Number
Hey! Just letting you know I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Hope you aren’t running late like last time…
Y/n
Uh, I’m actually running really behind schedule. I won’t be able to get there until around three hours from now. Sorry.
The two girls continued their lunch, feeling a bit bad about messing with a stranger’s plans but laughing nonetheless. It wasn't until Y/n’s phone started blowing up that the color began to drain from their faces.
Unknown Number
WHAT? THREE HOURS????? WHAT?
Unknown Number
YOU’RE MESSING WITH ME RN
Unknown Number
If you don’t answer me in .5 seconds, I WILL show up to your house and wreck your shit
Unknown Number
LIKE WHAT? THREE HOURS? WE’VE HAD THESE PLANS FOR WEEKS MATE
Unknown Number
Literally answer me rn or I’m telling Oscar to help me plan your murder
Y/n’s hand clasped over her mouth as she frantically began to type out a reply, guilt settling over the amusement.
Y/n
You most definitely have the wrong number. Sorry, me and my friend thought it would be funny to tell you that your plans were basically ruined. Our bad. But, I have no idea who Oscar is and I pray for the person you are meaning to text rn. Plz don’t wreck their shit!
His response was immediate.
Unknown Number
Oh… sorry for my small outburst then. But, how am I meant to know this isn’t actually the person I’m trying to get a hold of?
Y/n laughed before Annie suggested taking a picture and sending it to the mysterious number. Probably stupid considering they had no idea who was on the other side of the phone, but an image was sent regardless.
Y/n
*Image Attached*
Y/n
I am most definitely not whoever you are trying to get a hold of.
The number doesn’t respond for a few minutes, busy for all they know or getting bored of texting a supposed stranger. However, her phone dings on the table and the two girls peek to see the response.
Unknown Number
Woah, you are for sure not who I am meant to be texting right now.
Unknown Number
You are very pretty tho
Y/n giggled,
Y/n
Thank you, but not thank you if you are an old man or serial killer. I don’t take compliments from psychos.
Unknown Number
Haha no I am not an old man or serial killer. I’m a child in a 24 year old man’s body.
Y/n
How do I know this for sure?
Unknown Number
Trust me?
Y/n
Okay, ig. What’s your name?
The food comes to the table and Annie begins to dig in, watching her best friend closely before the girl puts her phone down.
“He stopped responding. I asked for his name. Probably got scared or something.” She murmurs before cutting into her chicken. Annie nods her head side to side before they take up another topic of conversation, seemingly moving on from the previous random male who had interrupted their lunch.
However, there’s another vibration on the table ten minutes later. Y/n picks up her phone.
Unknown Number
Robert :) But, people call me Bob. What’s yours?
Y/n
I am going against everything my parents ever taught me by telling a stranger my name and what I look like… but I’m Y/n :)
Y/n
Btw bob sounds like a fake name that’s so funny
🏎️
The next day, Y/n wakes up to yet another message from Bob- who had begun to take up the majority of her text notifications’ real estate. She didn’t mind in the slightest, though. They got on like a house on fire, banter, jokes and conversation free-flowing at any given time.
Bob!
Good morning :)
Bob!
Wait, is it morning for you? Where do you even live?
Y/n
Okay, stalker. It’s literally 9 am, why am I already having to deal with a man trying to get my address.
Bob!
GIRL WHAT? That isn’t what i meant and you know it, Y/n
Y/n
Yes, i know what you meant, bob. I’m just joking lol
Y/n
I live in London! What about you?
Bob!
Monaco
Y/n
Shit, girl. You’re rich asf?
Bob!
NO nah nah nah. Y/n, I literally work as a server here. I enjoy the glamor tho
Y/n
Oh… so no diamond necklaces :( You could’ve been my sugar daddy, bob.
Bob!
😭
Y/n
No i joke I JOKE i can buy my own damn diamond necklaces
Bob!
Of course you can, Y/n. I’m not surprised.
Her heart warms at his portrayed support, and even though her bank account is in the negative, she likes to think Bob believes in her just as Annie does. Maybe he actually did.
She shakes her head at her thoughts. I’ve known him for a day, she thinks. He shouldn’t already mean this much to her. She doesn’t even know him.
Y/n
Ty, bob :) I have to go though. I have so much to get done today.
Bob!
Ok! text me when you’re free?
Y/n
yesss
There is a small void in Y/n’s body as she unlocks the front door of her apartment. A day of being broken down has taken its toll on her. Usually, it doesn’t get to her, the stress and pressure of it all, but today, as she flops down onto her ratty couch, part of her wants to give up.
Her phone buzzes underneath her leg.
Bob!
Are you free yet?? It’s been all day, y/n!!!
Y/n
sry, i just got home.
Bob!
Just now? Didn’t you leave at like 9:30 this morn??
Y/n
yeah
Bob!
Y/n, its 10:45 at night for you
Y/n
that would be correct… how did you know that?? Tracking my time zone, Robert?
Bob!
you might be scared to hear I have London saved on my world clock so I can see it at all times
Y/n
thats love fr
Y/n
but yeah its been a long day
Bob!
oh, well, im sorry :( how are you? Tired?
Y/n
Yeah, definitely. Just a hard day in general.
Bob!
Talk to me about it then <3
Her face blushes before the color is being forced back beneath her face. She doesn’t know this man enough to tell him all her sorrows. He’s just being nice.
Y/n
it’s ok. Thank you tho bob
Bob!
Who else are you planning to talk to abt it then?
Y/n
no one?
Bob!
you need to talk about it y/n to let it go. Talk to me.
Y/n
We barely know each other.
Bob!
Do i look like i care?
She laughs and types,
Y/n
Bob, I don’t even know what you look like
Bob!
We’ll fix that someday :) Now talk to me about everything
Y/n takes a breath before her fingers begin flying across the keyboard.
Y/n
People are just mean. I try so hard everyday to give my all and my best effort, to not let people down, but I seem to still do it. I can’t quite get things right and my boss is suffocating me with the way he looms over me like I can't hold my own. It makes me think I can't. There’s no room for mistakes or excuses, you have to be perfect in the office i work and i will never be that. There’s this other girl who holds my same position yet she does it so much better. I will never hold a candle to her and I know that. She’s everything I want to be because she accomplishes everything I can't. My boss knows it, everyone knows it, and it makes me feel like an outsider. I can’t share certain memories with these people or fit in quite right because I haven't been able to achieve the same success as they have. I know I’m just starting out and I have the rest of my life to surpass them, but what if I can't? What if I am never able to gain a good understanding and I am constantly behind?
There are tears pooling in her eyes as she relives the moments of her day when certain tasks were given to this girl she envies, Sam, while her boss gave her a look that had her close to quitting on the spot. Sam gets to revel in the future while Y/n stays in terror of it. A career path she has wanted all her life taunting her.
Bob!
I can relate to that. I can understand the feeling of seeing everyone around you get something you want so dearly while you share the same tools they do and yet you still come up empty. But I’ve also learned that good things come with time and we can’t always be yearning for something that isn’t meant to happen right now. What’s meant to happen will happen for you, I’m sure of it, Y/n. I know it’s hard to not be jealous or feel inadequate, but you just have to make peace with the fact that you try your best and that’s enough. You’re a good person, Y/n. All the good will come to you.
There’s something in his words that makes her feel heard and for once, Y/n finds peace in another’s reassurance. She doesn’t want to think about what that means toward who Bob is to her.
Y/n
Thank you. That means a lot.
Bob!
Of course. I wish I would’ve had someone telling me that when I was experiencing it.
Y/n
When were you experiencing it?
Bob!
A few years ago. But, that doesn’t matter.
Y/n
You’re always vague, bob. Give me something please? I’ve told you so much.
Bob!
There’s not much to tell, Y/n.
Y/n
You’re a server. Is that something you want to do for the rest of your life?
Bob!
I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out.
Y/n
VAGUE
Bob!
Ok, okkk!! I don’t want to be a server for the rest of my life. I think I’d like to work in Formula One. I’ve always loved racing and cars, the thrill of speed and all that. Trying to be Max Verstappen fs
Her eyes twinkle,
Y/n
Haha yeah right brotha
Y/n
That’s great tho! I think you’d be great in Formula One, Bob. I’ve heard of it but not a huge fan. It seems boring.
Bob!
Damn, shitting on my favorite thing… but thank you, Y/n. I think I’d be great too.
Y/n
You know i didn’t mean it that way!! What about your family?
Bob!
If you’re gonna ask me all these questions, should we just call?? Might be easier haha
She stares at his text for a moment, only a few seconds, before his contact name is large on her screen as his call awaits her answer. She clicks the green button and puts the phone to her ear, suddenly nervous to hear his voice for the first time.
“Y/n?” His deep, husky tone fills her ears and the truth of his identity begins to genuinely reign true. His voice is none of some old, slimy man. She could see it fitting someone younger, handsome even. Part of her even wants to say he sounds familiar.
She breathes, “Bob?”
There’s a silence that passes between them, a line crossed in the random relationship they’d surprisingly developed. Rustling sounds from Bob’s end, sheets moving before Y/n adds to the commotion, her heels falling to the floor once she pushes them off.
“Are you going to ask me about my family?” He asks, a hint of laughter in his voice.
Y/n giggles, “Tell me about your family, Bob.”
He lets out a small noise of confirmation, “Well, I have two sisters and a brother. A mom and dad. Still married. I don’t know, what do you want to know?”
The two laugh together at his sudden loss of words before Y/n speaks, “Uh, tell me about your parents. Any crazy love stories in the family?”
“No, they got together relatively normal. They’ve been together since they were younger and they’re still in love to this day. They set up a great example for me.”
Y/n rises from her couch, putting Bob on speaker, and moving into her bedroom to get ready for the end of the night. His voice echoes off the walls of the glistening white walls of her bathroom as she asks him more questions about his siblings and relatives. The way he speaks so highly of them makes the pull to him she feels stronger. Something about him seems too good to be true, but she wouldn’t say that out loud. She believes too much in the power of a jinx.
Bob somehow changes the conversation to her, asking her further about her job and her worries. It’s scary how easy it feels to open up to him, things she had a hard time even telling Annie. Maybe it’s the anonymity of him, the elusiveness of the man she truly doesn’t know. However, none of that matters wholly as she lays in bed, eyes trained on the fan above going in circles as she talks about insecurities she’s had since she was a kid.
“It’s hard to know what traits you truly hold, you know? I can be the sweetest to one person, but horribly mean to another. I don’t want people to think I’m armed with ill intent. Sometimes things just don’t come out the way I want.” She whispers, arms sitting heavy over her stomach.
Bob sighs, “It’s scary how much we share in common. I’ve felt that way too many times before. You can never be too careful with your words and it just hits so hard when people don’t understand who you truly are at your core. If they did, they wouldn’t think I was saying something with malice.”
She smiles to herself. It’s as if he lives in her head. “I don’t think you’d mean anything malicious, Bob.”
He chuckles, “I don’t think you’d mean anything malicious either, Y/n.”
The quietness of her name on his lips brings her closer to sleep and it’s the way he begins to ramble about how much he loves to talk to her that sends her over the edge, a warmness accompanying her body to sleep.
Bob keeps talking for a few minutes before her silence is deafening and he realizes what’s happened. Still, he talks, traumas and all, because something about knowing she’s there makes him not want to hang up.
🏎️
“So, you’ve been talking to this guy for how long?” Annie questions, her eyebrows pulled together just as they always have while she stares bewilderedly at Y/n.
“Three weeks,” She replies, a message from Bob appearing on her screen just as they utter his name.
Annie stares at her, “And you don’t know what he looks like?”
Y/n shakes her head lightly, “No…”
Annie scoffs, “Y/n! That’s so stupid! He could be stalking you for all we know!”
“No! He’s not stalking me, Annie. I think I know him now, really. In the beginning, no, but we call all the time and we talk about anything and everything. He’s sweet and he’s everything I’ve ever been looking for in a guy.” Y/n is quick to defend, her phone in her hands as Bob calls her.
Annie glances down to the ringing phone, “Is that him?”
Her challenging look makes Y/n nod slowly. Annie lurches forward and Y/n yelps just as her best friend yanks the phone out of her hands and answers the call.
“ANNIE!” Y/n yells, grasping for the phone while Annie just moves away.
Bob’s voice meets Annie’s ears, “Y/n?”
“This is Annie, Y/n’s best friend. I’d like to know your address and full name, seeing as my beloved friend has not gotten that information yet.” She demands, eyes glancing toward Y/n as she awaits the man’s answer.
Bob stutters, “Uh, my name is Robert Dancing. I live in Monaco.”
Annie shakes her head, “No, I’m talking address. Like, 12345 Hemingway Street.”
Bob laughs, “Can I just talk to Y/n?” There’s a hint of anxiousness in his voice that sends Annie into a manic spiral.
“No, tell me where you live.” She fires back.
“Annie!” Y/n tries again, grabbing onto Annie’s sweatshirt to pull her closer. When she’s within reach, Y/n reaches for the phone and snatches it back, much to Annie’s dismay.
Y/n apologizes, “Bob, I’m so sorry. Annie’s a little insane.”
He laughs and it lingers around her heart, “It’s okay. Just call me later, yeah?”
She nods and murmurs confirmation before hanging up. She turns to look at her best friend, a rare moment of betrayal. “Why would you do that?” She asks, annoyance radiating off of her.
Annie crosses her arms, “Because, Y/n! You don’t know this man.”
Y/n groans, “Yes, I do! Also, getting to know him by demanding his address seems satisfactory to you?”
“You’re being stupid, Y/n! I’m just looking out for you!” She raises her voice, anger getting in the way of truly getting her point across.
Y/n shakes her head, “Looking out for me would be trusting me when I ask that of you! You just completely went against everything I asked of you! I asked for support, not outraged behavior!”
Annie’s face drops, “You don’t get it! Y/n, you do not know this man! You didn’t even know his last name until I asked for you yet you’ve apparently told him all of your secrets?!”
Y/n begins to pack her purse in a moment of fury, “No, Annie, you don’t get it!”
As she stands at the cusp of the front door, Annie yells back at her, “Stop falling in love with someone you can’t trust!”
Y/n closes the door shut, a huff coming from her lips as she storms down the stairs, tears down her face. To have her best friend question her judgment regarding someone who means so much to her hurts immensely. Though, what hurts worse is knowing she might be right.
Max almost looks perplexed when Lando hangs up the phone.
“Robert Dancing? What the hell kind of name is that?” He teases, a patronizing tone.
Lando shakes his head, “I didn’t know what else to say! Dancing was the first thing that came to my head!”
Max crosses his arms over his chest, “Are you ever planning on telling this woman who you really are?”
Lando’s mouth opens and falls closed, at a loss for words, “I don’t know. I want to, but I know she’ll run. I don’t blame her. I’ve lied about fundamental things.” There’s a crease in his forehead as he continues, “I can’t lose her. I’m too addicted to the way she makes me feel.”
Max sighs, “I hate to say it, but you might, Lan. You told her you were a completely different person, betrayed her trust in an insane way. You’ve got something special, that counts for something, but you need to be prepared for the possibility of her never being able to find it in herself to forgive you. I don’t want you to get your hopes up and get hurt.”
“I won’t. I know the risks of what I’ve done, but I can’t take it back now. I just need to find the time to tell her. I will tell her and I’ll do it in a coherent, calm way.” He tries, but the two of them know he’s already gotten his hopes up. Max looks at him with faux confidence, knowing Lando’s found himself with someone it’ll cut deep to let go of.
Lando knows it too, knows the kind of pain that’ll shred through him if she leaves because of his mistake. It’s ironic in the way that a lie, one so unnecessary, is the thing that plagues his mind at night even as Y/n’s voice puts him to sleep.
🏎️
There’s a nagging in Y/n’s brain that pushes her to get out from under the covers of her bed and find her desk in the dark of the night. She sits in the chair with a creak before opening her laptop and the random browser she’s had tabs open in for days on end.
Her fingers however over the keys before typing in a dreaded question of truth.
“Robert Dancing.” She whispers as she presses enter and the screen begins to load. Her stomach churns and her eyes whip away, too scared to look. What would she do if nothing came up? What if Annie was right? What if Bob wasn’t who she thought he was after all?
But, then, his voice calls her back to the safety of her blind trust as it rings throughout her brain. He seems too nice to be what Annie had thought him to be. Bob is who she thinks he is, he has to be.
Her gaze takes one more look at the picture of her and Annie on her nightstand before she turns her head fully to find out her fate.
A blank screen with the haunting words, “Sorry, we couldn’t find what you were looking for.” stares back at her. For a moment, she thinks she must’ve spelled his name wrong and she tries multiple, very clearly wrong, versions of what his name could be in an attempt to console the last of hope dwindling out of her body.
Bob. A name in her mouth that now means nothing takes on what she had originally thought it had been. A fake name.
This can’t be, she thinks. There has to be some logical explanation. But, then again, Robert Dancing is not a typical name, something should come up for a server who lives in Monaco. A link to his social media would’ve shown. He’s young and living in Europe, there would be a trace of him.
Robert Dancing does not exist.
🏎️
Unknown
Y/n, you never called me back. Is everything okay?
Y/n
Everything is fine.
Unknown
Can I call you now?
Y/n
I’m busy.
Unknown
It’s been three days and I haven’t heard from you at all. Seriously, are you okay?
Unknown
Y/n, answer me. What’s going on?
Y/n
Stop messaging me.
Her body jolts in surprise when her phone rings aggressively against the desk at her work. She looks around sheepishly at her staring coworkers before grabbing the loud device and walking outside. The moment the door shuts behind her, she answers.
Bob speaks so quickly, “Y/n, what’s going on?”
She stares at the skyline, trying to find peace in the view, “What’s your name?”
Bob is quiet, “Robert Dancing. You know this.”
“No, I don’t. What’s your name?” She tries again, anger in her voice and sadness deep in her soul.
“Bob.” He states, breaking her heart once more.
Y/n scoffs, “I know that’s not your name. If you don’t start telling me the truth right now, I will hang up and block you.”
A door closes on his side and she hears him take a breath, “Okay, okay. Don’t do that. How’d you find out?”
A dry laugh leaves her mouth, mixed with astonishment, “Do you think I’m stupid?! You gave me what was supposed to be your full name, so I searched you up. Choose a name that actually comes up next time, yeah?”
“Y/n, I’m so sorry. You told me you would never think I meant malice by my actions. That should apply here.” He tries, but she just shakes her head.
“That was back when I thought I knew at least your name. Who ever are you? Do you even live in Monaco? Was any of it true?” She cries, somewhat surprised at the tears that have appeared.
He sounds disappointed, “Yes, it all was. I do live in Monaco and I have three other siblings. My parents are still married. All the things I told you were true, my doubts and insecurities. That wasn’t fake, Y/n.”
She pulls herself together, not ready to break down for a man so cruel, and wipes her tears, “What’s your name?”
“Y/n, I-”
She interrupts, determined, “What’s your name?”
A build up manifests from the silence he lets go on before he answers her dying question, “Lando Norris.”
Part of her was expecting him to say a name she would’ve recognized, but no part of her has any reaction to him. His name is just another one she wished to have been able to connect to another human being.
He takes her silence for realization and his body slumps against the wall behind him. Part of him knows she won’t, but another part worries she’ll take their situation and everything he’s told her to the press.
What she says next completely contradicts everything he built up in his head, “You act like that’s supposed to mean anything to me.”
With that, she hangs up the phone.
Annie and Y/n haven’t spoken since their fight a week ago, but the betrayal of it is pushed aside when Annie opens the door to find Y/n crying at her door.
No words are shared, Annie understands, and Y/n is ushered into the home, coaxed by her best friend to sit on the couch.
“What happened?” She whispers, her hand rubbing over Y/n’s back. Annie hates to see her best friend in such brokenness, even in a moment where she could tell her I told you so. That would do no one good, Annie knows that. Y/n doesn’t need to be proven wrong right now, she needs someone to sit with her when no one else seemingly won’t.
A sharp intake of breath and Y/n speaks, “He wasn’t who he said he was. Robert Dancing doesn’t exist. His actual name is Lando Norris. As if that means anything. Why would he lie?”
Annie cocks her head because it doesn’t make sense. Why would he lie? Lying about your life to make it seem more interesting than it was would make sense, but to blatantly lie completely about your identity? That didn’t make sense.
“Have you searched him up? Maybe it’s supposed to mean something?” She tries, genuinely lost at the situation.
Y/n shakes her head, tears falling to her lap as she hangs her head, “If I do and I see him, I don’t want to know. I already like him too much and that makes this hurt more than it should. If I see him, learn who he truly is, I’m scared I’ll never be able to let him go.”
Annie frowns, part of her wants to know about the man that put her friend in such a state. But, it’s not what Y/n needs as she cries on the beige couch. Her head fits in the crook of Annie’s shoulder as the girl turns on mindless TV for her friend.
Still, though, Annie knew she would find herself investigating Lando Norris later when Y/n fell asleep.
It’s ironic how similar Y/n and Annie look when they scour the internet for information about a specific man. Annie has a bit of blanket pulled over her lap as Y/n hogs the majority of it, the rise and fall of her chest a telltale sign of needed slumber.
The face of Lando Norris stares back at her as she tries to think of this man calling her best friend at night, asking questions no one has before. He seemed bubbly in the few moments she spoke to him and when she clicks on a video of him in an interview, she knows immediately it's him. His voice is distinct as it speaks through a clear microphone. There were no lies in his second confession to Y/n.
From what she can tell, he’s a beloved member of the Formula One community, a sport she had never truly looked into because she assumed it was overrated. So, did Y/n. The off chance that Lando texted a random person and found something more with them, he lucked out that that someone was clueless when it came to the sport that made him famous.
Her breathing stops when she finds a video that titles Lando’s supposed telling of a woman he’s taken a liking to. The date of the video tells her it’s within the time frame of him and Y/n.
She glances at her sleeping best friend before clicking the link, his smiling face large on her screen.
Lando’s giggle is sweet, “Yeah, I guess you could say I’ve found someone. Or, at least, have a crush. This girl and I are definitely not official, but there’s something there, I think we can both feel it. I’ve never felt so free with someone.”
The reporter, out of view from the watcher, coos, “That’s great, Lando! What’s her name?”
Lando gives the man a warning glance as he states authoritatively, “I won’t be handing that information right now.”
He clutches the microphone and Annie can see the way his body shifts with protectiveness. If anything, this is exactly the kind of way she had always wanted Y/n to be treated. Protected and cherished. From what she could gather, from the deepdive of articles and the stories Y/n had told, Lando did just that.
Her heart aches. A stupid man tried to protect himself whilst falling in love with a woman that never even knew who he was. They were never even given a chance.
Somehow, in a black out of pure sadness for Y/n who had always yearned to be adored in this way, Annie found herself buying a ticket to the next Grand Prix, Silverstone of all places.
With a crappy seat and no plan or guarantee of finding him, Annie knew she had to find Lando. She had to fight for something that wasn’t even hers.
🏎️
The commotion of fans surrounding the entrance to the paddock puts Annie on edge, not to mention the size of the crowd. She thought she got here early, wanting to be at the front so she could try and talk to him, but as she sees the large amount of people between her and the path where the drivers walk, hope diminishes. Still, she pushes through everyone, apologizing when she gets dirty looks. She knows how bad this looks, how much this most likely goes against common courtesy at races such as these. The face of Y/n with bloodshot eyes and a puffy face forces her to persevere, her best friend deserves someone like Lando.
She’s halfway through the crowd when it roars to life, screams emitting as people begin to stick McLaren hats and posters in the air. From the sliver of light she can see through some bodies, Annie watches Lando begin to walk through. He stops to sign for some fans and she pushes more forcefully, knowing this is her only chance.
He moves through it all with grace, but a certain speed that makes her heart pick up. He’s at the front of the crowd, about to step into the paddock and be lost completely to her when she yells, “Lando! It’s Annie!”
It’s the first thing that she can think of, hoping he’ll be reminded of Y/n’s voice when she tried to cover for her best friend’s moment of protection. Annie watches him pause, turn around slowly, as his eyes roam over the sea of people. He locks eyes with her as she waves her arms in the air, something passes between them and he begins running toward her. A connection to the woman he let down, one he hadn’t stopped thinking of in the weeks she had left him.
When he reaches her, Lando is stunned by her presence. “You’re Annie? Like Y/n’s Annie?” He whispers, the people around her screaming for his signature as she nods her head.
“Y/n’s Annie.” He looks to be fighting tears as he ushers a security guard over. “I need you to escort her into the paddock, to my driver’s room.”
The large man nods and Lando walks off, nodding at Annie gratefully. Once he’s gone from the premises, the guard moves the rope keeping people from bombarding the drivers up and lets her through.
The walk to wherever Lando had ordered is quiet as Annie takes in the money that surrounds her. People with Cartier jewelry and Birkens waltz around with an air to them that allows Annie to suddenly understand Lando. This is what he was afraid of. A greedy woman who would take advantage of the status he had and lie to him to get to his money and the money around him. While she understood, however, she still felt angry at his deceiving. Y/n was never given the benefit of the doubt.
The guard knocks on Lando’s door and it swings open, his sunken face coming into view and in the new light, Annie can see the love that Lando had found in her best friend. The effect of her leaving him is seen all over his body and from what she could gather during her time looking into him, he wasn’t doing as well as he usually had during races.
He motions for her to come in and when she does, the door closed, he begins talking, “Did Y/n send you here? Is she here? Can I talk to her? Does she want to see me? Is she forgiving me? Are you-”
Her heart breaks as she interrupts him and his quick anticipation of a reconciliation is crushed, “None of that is true. I’m here on my own terms. Y/n doesn’t know I’m here. At this point in time, she doesn’t want to see you, but I think that’s the shock of finding out about you.. That will wear off eventually. She’s hurt, Lando, but I also know she hates not talking to you. She hasn’t stopped talking about you. And I can’t stand to know that you two found something she’s always deserved, but let it slip away because of fears and betrayals.”
He sits opposite of her, staring at her and trying to find the answers he wants to hear in her eyes. He never does.
Lando rubs his palms over his eyes, “I never even got her last name. There was no way for me to find her.”
“Y/n Y/l/n.”
He lifts his head slowly, “What?”
At the look in his eyes, Annie smiles, “Y/n Y/l/n. That’s her last name. Actually, her full name, I guess.”
A small grin finds its way to Lando’s face and the way he touches his mouth lightly makes her think he hasn’t smiled in a while. “Y/n Y/l/n,” He whispers, smile widening as it all falls from his lips.
He’s even in love with her name, Annie thinks.
“Can you take me to her? I would like to be given the opportunity to fight for her.” He asks hesitantly, as if Annie hasn’t made it abundantly clear that she is here to help.
She nods, “I will tell you where to meet her, but first, I need you to tell me everything from the beginning, from your perspective.”
Lando’s head hangs and he begins, hands wringing together in his lap, “When I first texted her, I thought she was my friend, Daniel.”
“Daniel Ricciardo?” She asks, clarification needed for this story.
Lando’s eyebrows rise, “You know the sport?”
She shakes her head, “No, both Y/n and I never got into it because we didn’t think it was that exciting - sorry - but, I basically learned everything about your life and Formula One when Y/n told me your name.”
He nods and continues, “Well, yes, I thought she was Daniel Ricciardo, we were supposed to be meeting for lunch that day to just catch up before starting the new season. Well, as it turns out, he had changed his phone number over break because it leaked and never told anyone that he wasn’t needing to contact immediately during that time. I assume Y/n must’ve gotten a new number around the time because she got his.”
Annie thinks back before realizing Y/n had shattered her phone in the weeks before and ended up getting an entire new cell phone profile. New number, email, everything. She had said she liked the clean slate.
At her nodding, Lando talks once more, “When she sent me the picture of her, I immediately thought she was one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen in my entire life. That’s cliche, but it’s true. She’s still so beautiful to me. Um,” He shakes his head, tears having pooled in his eyes at the mention of her beauty, “I knew I wanted to keep talking to her, see where it went because I couldn’t just stop talking to her and never knew what could’ve been. So, I made a quick, impulsive decision. I lied about who I was because I just wanted her to treat me normally. I had no idea who she was or her morals, I couldn’t guarantee that she would treat me like everyone else. Obviously, when I learned of who she was and the deep parts of her that no one else got to see, I wanted to change it all. I wanted to tell her so many times who I was and what I wanted with her, what I saw with her, but I knew if I did, I would just lose her. So, I tried to find ways to keep talking to her, but also slowly introduce the truth. Clearly, I never found a way. When you called me, demanding my address and full name I panicked and didn’t think about what would happen if I said what was supposed to be my full name. You’re very scary, you know.” He chuckles, Annie does with him, “So, it all fell from there. She found out Robert Dancing was something entirely fabricated and she called me, telling me to tell her the truth. I was backed into a corner and everything I wanted, I needed, left me. That moment is ingrained in my brain.”
He breathes slowly, his eyes still on his hands, before whispering, “I miss her.”
Annie nods, “I know. So does she. That’s why you need to go to this address,” She hands him a small paper, “Meet her there on Monday at 7 PM, come prepared to tell her all of that and more.”
He clutches the paper like it’s his last lifeline and Annie smiles at how important Y/n is to him.
Lando glances up at her, “What do you mean by more?”
Annie continues to smile lightly, “That you love her. That you need her. That you’re sorry. Lando, remind her of what you two had.”
🏎️
The small apartment complex is daunting to Lando as he stands in front of it. Annie never told him where he was going or what he would be met with, but considering he’s here to see Y/n, he can only assume the building he stares at is her home. His anxiety only spikes. He does not want to mess up again. He doesn’t want to taint her home with even more pain, he thinks to himself, images of himself groveling and begging for her forgiveness flashing in his mind’s eye.
Nonetheless, he knows if he backs out, Annie would find his address this time and physically harm him.
So, the boy walks to the gate and rings her neighbor, following Annie’s instructions closely. He remembered how she told him if he rang Y/n, she wouldn’t let him in, being stubborn and all. Though, if he rang the neighbor, an older woman Annie called Lo, he had a chance.
“Hello? I’m here to see Y/n.” He said into the rusty speaker, a questionable smell infiltrating his nose.
A crackling sound emits from it before Lo is speaking back to him, “Are you Robert Dancing? Annie told me you would be coming.”
Lando laughs at the name, his random ideas being the reason for it, and murmurs a yes to her. She doesn’t say anything back, just a loud buzzing noise that tells him the door is unlocked.
When he walks through, part of him groans at the lack of an elevator. For an athlete, the man is lazy.
Thus, he begins his scale to the top floor, cursing himself for falling in love with someone who lives so high up.
He’s almost completely lost to his thoughts that he doesn’t realize Y/n’s door stands in his way once his feet hit the doormat. It dawns on him the time has come to meet her in person, having never before. It should be studied, he thinks, how he’s fallen in love with her without ever truly seeing her.
He knocks on the door, not wasting time before he truly aborts whatever mission he’s found himself on. And his heart soars when he hears her yell, “Coming!”
He’s only ever heard it over the phone. To hear it feet away from him is almost as exciting as the idea of her forgiving him.
The door unlocks and pulls open, revealing Y/n in a matching set of pajamas that he remembers her texting him about, asking if they were a stupid purchase or not. He told her to get them, she told him probably not, that she was poor, but she still had.
Her eyes land on him and he’s ready for whatever screaming he’s about to endure, but she just smiles at him.
“Hi! Can I help you with anything?” She acts as if she doesn’t recognize him and Lando realizes she doesn’t. Annie had mentioned something about Y/n becoming disinterested in seeing who he truly was, out of fear of becoming too attached. His mind must’ve not genuinely absorbed that information because he only understands it now.
She doesn’t know who he is.
He could do the same thing he had before, lie and tell her he’s someone else. Take the safer option and secure her love, but he takes a breath instead and remembers all Annie had told him. He’d already put her through so much, to do it again would be cruel.
“Y/n, I’m Lando.” He says while he watches her face fall.
Her hands fly to the door, about to slam it on his face, but he sticks his foot in right before she can. The impact hurts, but he continues with what he had practiced so many times on the way here.
“Please, Y/n, just hear me out.” He pleads as her cheeks fill with red. He’s almost sure it isn’t a blush.
“How’d you even get my address?” She says, astonished at who stands before her. Her eyes fall over his body, trying to understand the information. Who he is, what he wants.
“Annie.” He whispers, knowing her confusion will only heighten more.
Her mouth falls open and she yells, “ANNIE?!”
What he believes to be Lo, pops out from her behind her door at the yelling and Lando lowers his head.
“Can I come in? We shouldn’t have this conversation in the hallway of your complex.” He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, hoping she’ll agree. When she does, opening the door for him slowly, he flies forward. While he was ecstatic to be given another chance, he still fears for his image and what would be speculated about a seemingly heated conversation between him and another woman.
She guides him to the couch and they sit down. A familiar creak sounds that reminds him of the ones he would hear when they got into deep conversation during their nighttime calls. The image of her on the phone with him, concentration on her face as she listened to whatever he was revealing and getting comfortable on her sofa, makes him smile softly.
“Bo- I mean, Lando, you need to start talking. I don’t have all the time in the world to listen.” She gives, her tone ice cold. However, the break in it when she realizes she’s said his former, fake name makes the anger he felt over his lies further. He wants her to say his name, the real one. He wants her to say it with love and excitement, not distance. He wants her and his name on her lips.
“I never meant to hurt you. Actually, what I did was in an attempt to shield myself from any kind of bad faith. I didn’t expect to develop what he did. I didn’t even expect to open up to you in the way I did. I thought I could make a friend, one who didn’t know who I was and didn’t have any kind of bias toward me. I’ve always wanted that with someone, especially a partner. I saw an opportunity and I took it, not thinking through it all and I hurt you in the process. I’m so sorry, Y/n. From the moment we started truly talking, calling and all, I knew I had messed up, but I never found a way to tell you. Well, a way to tell you that wouldn’t result in you getting rid of me. I wish I could take it all back, but not you. Not what I got to experience with you, what I felt with you. You’re my favorite memory and you’ll never understand how grateful I am for you. You helped me through bad races even when you didn’t know, helped me through weird press interactions when you didn’t know. I loved that. I loved how at peace you made me feel. I can’t let this go without knowing I gave it everything I have and when Annie showed up at Silverstone, telling me I had to fight for you, I took whatever she had to give.”
Y/n stares at him, trying to digest it all, and murmurs, “Annie went to Silverstone?”
He chuckles lightly, “Yes, she came and she told me who she was, what she was doing there. She told me she knew what we had and she didn’t want you to lose something you’ve always deserved. She gave me this address and told me to come here at this time, told me to buzz Lo instead of you so I could come in. She told me I needed to remind you of what we had.”
Y/n goes red again, blushing this time. She smiles at the idea of Annie going to great lengths just to make her happy, “Annie sounds determined.”
Lando smiles along with her, “She was. She told me if I didn’t fight for you, she’d find me and kill me. She’s really scary, Y/n.”
Their eyes meet and Y/n is reminded of what once was, the way he made her feel. She misses him and knowing the intricate shade of brown in his eyes doesn’t help how much she wants to shut him out.
“I understand why you did what you did, but that doesn’t make it any better. You could’ve given up everything you were saying at any point in time and you didn’t. You only told me when I confronted you with it.” She whispers, disappointment evident in her voice. She plays with her fingers and Lando is close to taking them in his hand.
He nods, “I get that. But, I was scared to tell you because I was just so in love with you. I still am.”
Her eyes snap to his and a moment passes before she asks, “Still am? You love me?”
His cheeks turn cherry tomato, “Yes, of course, I am. The moment I realized you were safe enough to open up to, knowing my identity or not, I was in love with you.”
She groans and lets her face fall to her palms, “But, I’m in love with you too.”
He laughs and shakes his head, “Why is that a bad thing?”
Her eyes peek from over her hands, “Because I want to hate you.”
Finally, his fingers lace with hers as he brings them away from her face, “But, you love me. Isn’t that enough?”
She knows it is. He knows it is. Annie knows it is, even if she isn’t there. It’s a matter of if Y/n can put aside the grand web of lies he put together to let them have their shot at something that could be wonderful. In the warmth of his presence, she thinks she can.
🏎️
Y/n
Can you stop blowing up my phone
Bob <3
Why????? I’m bored baby
Y/n
im at work girly
Bob <3
girly 🤭🫶🏻🤗 plz go out to the balcony and answer me
Y/n
I think you might be obsessed with me
Bob <3
i made an alter ego so i could talk to you didn’t i?
Y/n
girl
She picks up his call as she closes the door behind her, the new office building she’s in allowing for a wider view of London. The new team she works with is less competitive than the last and their support is proving beneficial with the news she got today.
“My beloved girlfriend, are you free for lunch today?” Lando giggles into the speaker like the lovesick man he is. Y/n can hear Oscar make fun of him in the background.
She smiles, “I thought you were bored?”
“Yes, so now I’m asking if you want to have lunch with me” He answers as if it’s obvious. In the months after the soft moment shared between Lando and Y/n on her old couch, they’ve found something more than love between them. Lando says it’s destiny and Y/n says it’s a soulmate tie, but they agree that the love they once shared over the phone only grew once in person.
Y/n chuckles at his antics, “Sure, I will have lunch with you, Lan. Can you come pick me up though? I don’t want to drive.”
Lando makes a noise, “What did you think I was going to do? Make you drive yourself? No way. There’s one person in this relationship that drives cars professionally and it’s not you, sweetheart. Sorry to break it to you.”
Oliver, her coworker, comes to the door, asking for her assistance on something with a smile. She tells him she’ll be a minute and he nods, retreating back into the office quietly, “Sorry, my love. I need to go. But, you’ll be here when?”
Lando hums, “An hour?”
“Perfect! Oh, and, Lando?” She asks, her voice filled with joy as he responds, “You’ll have to come to the Junior VP’s office to pick me up.”
Silence is met with her sentence before Lando whispers, “Either I’m stupid and you have some big project I forgot about or you’re trying to tell me something that will actually make me lose my mind and sanity right now.”
She laughs loudly, “I got Junior VP, Lan. Youngest one yet.”
He shrieks, momentarily making Y/n go deaf, before screaming to everyone around him about his girlfriend’s achievement, “I’m so proud of you, baby! Oh my god! I’m so happy! We need to buy champagne! You can have your own podium moment! Holy shit, I’m so proud!”
“I would love that, Lan. Thank you. I love you.” She whispers the last part softly, three words that mean so much.
He’ll never get tired of hearing her speak of her love for him, “I love you too, Y/n.”
She’d never get tired of saying it.
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thedarkestgreys · 1 year
Text
well i for one am hoping to hear how the house dems made a deal to get Congresszco elected as Speaker today 💅
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ur-dad-satan · 3 months
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Hello! Can I plz request where the Obey Me brothers react to their s/o getting turned on by their fangs? The s/o is like: plz bite me~ And if the brothers ever get angry and snarl or show off their fangs the s/o just gets turned on. It's ok of no tho! 🥰
Anon, bestie, I got you <3
*.*.*.*.*.
MC was what most would consider a trouble maker. They loved getting on people's nerves. Despite now being constantly surrounded by beings that could kill them in many different ways in the snap of a finger, this habit persisted. But now, they had a reward. Their partner's fangs. It was just something about those sharp little teeth that seemingly flipped a switch in the horny human whenever they saw them. MC had a daily goal of annoying the brothers just to see their fangs; the brothers didn't know that was the reason for MC's behavior at times though. But when they found out?? It went a little like this.
!!Suggestive but not explicit!!
Luci
Making Lucifer mad was one of the easiest things MC could do
They knew just how annoyed he got when his work was disrupted
All MC wanted was a little attention (allegedly)
Somehow, the human ended up in Lucifer's office bothering him while he tried to work
They squeezed themselves between the eldest and his desk.
He sighed and tried to tell them to move but they would refuse
He'd get annoyed quickly and flash his fangs but he would notice how MC's eyes lit up
Being as smart as he was, he finally caught on
"You like my fangs, don't you, MC?"
"Obviously."
His lips and sharp fangs would graze across MC's neck causing their breath to catch
"You should have said so earlier, Darling."
"Please bite me."
"Maybe just a little..."
Ooh MC will be marked for a week straight and everyone will see it
Mam
The silly little simp would be flashing his fangs all the time
And MC would take advantage of it all the time.
Throw him a complement or two and he's flashing a goofy little crooked grin; showing off his fangs
Tell a joke? He'll laugh his ass off and his fangs will be on full display
The poor man would be clueless until...
The second born would be watching a movie with MC and they wouldn't stop looking at him
Eventually he'd notice and want to know why his precious little human can't take their eyes off him
"Not that I'm complainin', but you've been starin' at me for the last ten minutes. What gives?"
"You're just so damn cute. From your pretty hair to your pretty blue eyes, and especially your fangs."
Oh the butterflies he would feel. But he wouldn't let them see it (they know)
"W-well if ya like 'em so much, how about I just bite ya!" It was supposed to be a joke, but...
"Please do."
And he will. Only for his human. After he stops malfunctioning
Levi
Leviathan always celebrated a win audibly whenever he gamed.
He always had something to say followed by a giant toothy grin showing off his fangs.
He never noticed how MC would sometimes throw a match to see his teeth when he celebrated.
He never noticed how their tone changed after seeing him celebrate.
And he certainly never noticed how MC liked to look at his fangs, not his smile when he went on and on about one of his interests.
But MC would throw a match and he'd notice this time.
And the next. And two more times before he decided to speak up
"MC, why do you keep looking at my mouth? Do you... like... like my smile... or something?"
Not quite, love
"Yes, but I'm looking at your fangs. They look so hot."
He'd blush and blabber but that just made them more visible
MC knew that this next part would almost kill him, but it seemed to slip out of their mouth anyway...
"Please, bite me Levia-chan."
He'd be broken for a bit, (poor boy) but he would build up the courage and bite them ever so gently
Sat
Satan's poor temper was one MC never pushed too much on
They could calm him, but usually for a price...
That didn't mean that they didn't love the way he scowled and grimaced in annoyance at just about anything
Lucifer said something? How dare he
Solomon was mentioned? Why would you do that?
MC loved to do teeny tiny things to make Satan mildly annoyed just to see his scrunched-up scowl and those sharp fangs
They bothered him just a little bit while he was reading a book
They mentioned something "funny" Lucifer said
Now his fangs were on full display
"MC, why must you annoy me like this?"
The answer was obvious, and they didn't even need to reply as he realized what they were looking at
"This is about my fangs, isn't it?"
MC would nod and get close so close they were almost touching
"Bite me, Tan?"
If he didn't, they would mumble something about how Lucifer would if they asked him too
Then, he had to make sure he didn't draw (too much) blood
Asmo
Asmodeus wasn't really one to lose his temper so easily, so MC really had to play dirty to annoy him
Yeah, his fangs would sometimes show if he was smiling wide enough
But that wasn't enough for MC
They did a lot of little petty stuff like get in Asmo's way or hint that his outfit isn't his color
There was only one time MC pushed the demon just a little too far...
MC had put on their absolute favorite outfit and all their favorite accessories like they were about to go out
Asmo had asked where they were going looking so good
But the demon was ignored... MC talked to everyone else, but pretended he didn't exist
Asmo had enough and finally pinned them to some wall where no one else was
"Why the hell are you ignoring me, MC? Did I do something?"
They smirked. They were quiet until Asmo was scowling and about to say something else
"I love when you're mad at me. I can see your fangs."
"That's what this is about?! You could have just asked!" He was pretty upset
"You should bite me."
Asmo would take them to his room and MC would need an icepack and maybe even a wheelchair
Beel
Beelzebub doesn't smile very often but when he did, his fangs would show just a bit.
They would also show whenever he opened his mouth to eat
That's why MC liked to watch him eat
However, his fangs showed the most when he was lifting
MC would always watch beel work out or work out with him just to see him grit his teeth and flash his fangs
They loved the sight of the big string demon all sweaty and straining
Sometimes they would push him a little too much to see him grimace with effort
But he started to notice how much they stared in his face when they worked out together.
"Do I have food or something in my teeth? You keep staring at them."
"No, no... I just want you to bite me." It came out more dreamily then they intended but they didn't care
"Bite you?" He continues on the squat rack, gritting his teeth and showing his fangs
"Yes please." Oh would MC get an after workout snack
The dumbass is definitely going to need a wheelchair now
Belphie
Belphegor was the one who's fangs were most difficult to see
He was always so tired that it was rare MC got to see his fangs
He liked to cuddle into MC's neck when they napped together so they couldn't see
It was a struggle for MC to turn around in Belphie's arms as he slept like a log
But sometimes they could wiggle free enough to turn and place their hands on Belphie's sleeping face
They just wanted to see his fangs. Nothing else
They tried to move his lips but he somehow woke up
"Stop. Sleep." His voice still low and gruff and he would cuddle back into the human
MC loved it almost as much as his fangs. Might as well ask
"But I want to see your fangs." MC almost whined
Now he's more awake
"Why?" He's not moving from his spot without good reason
"They're hot." The youngest brother would think about it before showing off his fangs
"Please bite me."
He would leave lazy bite marks and hickeys all over anywhere he can reach without moving too much
Sorry this took so long anon, but it's done!! I hope you like it!! <3
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libraryofgage · 3 months
Text
Harlequin Prince (2)
Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually
Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three | Four Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two | Three Harley Quinn One | Two (you're here!) 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One Queen ClarisseRenaldi One | Two
This part was line-jumped on Ko-Fi, which means y'all got it sooner than I originally planned!
If you want to line jump your favorite series, you can learn more here
Ironically, even tho the post says about a week of turn around, I get so excited that somebody wants to line jump that I just write it immediately lmao
Steve finally gets a good fight in this one, but it ends way too soon the poor boy. Either way, he also gets to meet some of the party!
As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)
-------
Steve knew his dad wasn't in the picture, but he never knew why. He never asked, but he started to get this horrible feeling after a while. Harley Quinn's past was well known to Steve, her previous...associate and her relationship with him isn't exactly a secret, no matter how much his mother tried to keep them from him. She couldn't protect him at school, and she couldn't protect him from hearing people talking on the streets.
So, yeah, from the age of nine, Steve walked around with this horrendous knowledge in his gut, a knowledge that he wanted to think was just him being paranoid. But it wasn't. He knew it wasn't. He just couldn't admit that to himself, and he couldn't ask his mother because he didn't want to send her down that particular lane of memories. So it festered, and Steve pretended it didn't exist at all.
Until, that is, his 13th birthday. It was held at Uncle Bruce's mansion because his mother wanted to go all out. It was as much a celebration for her (a full three years without getting sent to Arkham!) as it was for him (managing to stay alive for 13 years in Gotham with Harley Quinn for a mother). Steve hadn't minded, either, especially when he saw the absolute joy she had when picking out the hugest bounce-house she could find with Uncle Bruce's sleek black credit card.
The party was catered by Steve's favorite Indian restaurant, the guests were limited to immediate friends and family, the bounce-house was extra bouncy, and a table was practically buckling under the weight of the gifts piled on top of it. It was, by far, Steve's best birthday, surpassing even the one he spent in Arkham after letting Poison Ivy out of her cell.
"Hey, Dumplin'!" his mother shouted, waving at him from the top of the bounce house she'd managed to climb. When Steve looked at her, she grinned even brighter and jumped, launching off turrets and rolling down sloped walls before landing on her feet on the ground. "Let's get to them presents!"
Steve laughed, looked at the table eagerly, and nodded. Her grin somehow getting wider, Harley turned, cupped her hands around her mouth, and shouted, "GET YOUR ASSES IN GEAR, EVERYONE! STEVIE'S OPENIN' PRESENTS!"
Soon enough, Steve was standing in front of the table, surrounded by everyone, and not at all sure where to start with the mountain of presents. "You should open mine first," Jason said, grinning as he gestured to a bike-shaped package.
It was, in fact, a bike. A motorcycle, specifically, with a red and black helmet and the promise of lessons from Jason whenever he wanted. Steve loved it immediately and ignored Uncle Bruce muttering about driving laws and how Steve couldn't operate any motorized vehicle until he was fifteen. "Well," he said, "as long as I don't get caught by Batman, who's gonna know?"
That had earned him a laugh and his mother's hand ruffling his hair. "Go on, Dumplin', choose another."
Dick got him a literal outfit's worth of Wonder Woman merch, accessories included, that made Bruce look ready to pop a blood vessel. Tim gave him small tracking pins and a hacked handheld game console to watch the trackers with the promise of free upgrades anytime he wanted. Damien gave him daggers since he "wasn't good enough for real swords, but everyone should have a blade" on them, just in case. Cass, Steph, and Barbara pooled their skills together (and Alfred, they borrowed Alfred a lot) to make him an Unofficial Robin costume, complete with shorts only slightly less scandalous than Dick's original costume.
Bruce, when he finally stopped glaring at the three of them, gave Steve a fingerprint panic button shaped like a bat and easily attached to a key ring. "For emergencies, Steve," he said, "Just hold your thumb to it for three seconds."
"This is perfect for the next time we run out of ice cream," Steve said, grinning as he attached it to his key chain.
"Emergencies."
"Oh. So if we run out of mint chip, specifically. Got it."
Bruce merely sighed and let him return to opening gifts.
Alfred gave him a tin of homemade cookies that Steve immediately had to protect from the others. Poison Ivy gave him a Venus flytrap and the promise to help him grow it properly. Selina couldn't be there, but Bruce passed along her gift: a pair of goggles Bruce had handed over with a sigh and quiet request for him to use them responsibly.
Steve opened Duke's present last, eyes widening at the red leather jacket. "Wait, seriously?" he asked, holding it up as he looked at Duke.
"You're gonna be a troublemaker, Steve," Duke said. "Might as well make sure you're bulletproof for it."
Steve grinned wider and pulled on the jacket, swimming in the leather but eager to grow into it all the same.
There was nothing from his mother in the pile, but Steve figured the party itself was his present since she'd done all the planning. When she pulled him away to a secluded room in the manor after they'd all had cake, Steve realized it was just because she didn't want to share this moment with anyone.
She smiled at him, reaching up and gently tucking a few strands of hair behind Steve's ears. "You grew up so fast, Dumplin'," she said, sighing softly.
"Ivy says I'm like a weed."
"Ives is right," Harley said, nodding once before looking away. "Okay, ready for your present?"
"Wasn't the party my present?"
"No, no, Dumplin'. The party was for fun," she said, grinning as she reached behind her and pulled a comically-large mallet from seemingly nowhere. "This is your present."
Steve blinked, leaning over to look around Harley. "Where'd that even come from?" he asked.
"Jester Logic, Dumplin'. Don't worry about it. I'll teach you the trick later," she promised, holding the mallet out to Steve with an expectant expression.
When Steve took it, the weight threw him off. He frowned, shifted his grip, and suddenly had no problem holding it up. He took a closer look, noting the scratches and marks on the mallet and the faded paint. "This was yours," he said.
"Yeah, it was."
"I've never seen it before."
Harley sighed, tugging on one of her pigtails with a slight frown. "Yeah, well, I wasn't exactly a great person when I used it, Dumplin'. Tried to forget about that Harley and all," she explained.
"Then why give it to me?"
Harley looked back at Steve and smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek. "Cuz you're so much better than me," she said. "I think you'll do some great things, Dumplin', and maybe all the good you do will erase most of the bad this mallet's got."
Her words were so serious, her smile was so bittersweet, and she looked ready to cry and deny it. This was the closest he'd ever gotten to learning about her past straight from the source, a past he knew about it, a past that involved a certain person that haunts Steve's mind with terrifying potential. Suddenly, he had to know.
Steve didn't really think before blurting out, "Is the Joker my father?"
Harley froze, her shoulders tensing and her eyes widening as she stared at Steve. "You don't got a father, Dumplin'," she finally said, her voice quiet and her expression conflicted.
"Fine. Was he the sperm donor?"
With a sigh, Harley stepped closer and placed her hands on Steve's shoulders. "I won't lie," she said. "He is, but that don't mean a thing. His crazy ain't hereditary, Dumplin', and he's never gettin' anywhere near you."
"Does...does he know?" Steve whispered, "About me, I mean."
"It don't matter," Harley said, her voice firm and her eyes more serious than Steve had ever seen them. "I'll kill him before he gets near ya. Ives will kill him. Hell, Brucie wil---no, wait, he's got those pesky morals. Fine, Jason will kill him before he gets near ya. Actually, Jason'd kill him anyway, but the excuse will be good if Brucie scolds him for it."
Steve couldn't help laughing at that, feeling a little lighter when his mother smiled back at him. When his laughter trickled to nothing more than a smile, he asked, "Then, was I the reason you left?"
Harley nodded and gently tugged Steve into her arms, holding him to her and cradling the back of his head. "Yeah, you were," she said, her voice soft and soothing. "I was excited to tell 'im when I learned about you, but then I heard him talking to some goons. He was laughin' about running a kid over, breakin' their legs, and I realized...you wouldn't be special to him. You'd've been like his goons, all expendable and not even worth a glance. I couldn't put you through that, and I couldn't put me through it, either. So, I got us out the only way I knew how."
"By finding Uncle Bruce," Steve said.
He felt her nod. "By finding Brucie," she agreed. "He tried to deny bein' the Bat and all, but your mama ain't dumb, Dumplin'. I'd done my homework, and the butts matched. Once I explained it all, once I told him about you, he agreed to help."
Steve nodded, listening to his mother's heart beating against his ear. He glances down at the mallet again, tightens his grip, and takes a deep breath. "Thank you," he said, "for the gift and for telling me. I'll do good with it, I promise."
"That's my boy," Harley said, pulling back and ruffling his hair. "Now, lemme explain that Jester Logic to ya."
----------
Hawkins remains boring even after meeting Eddie. After all, Eddie's in high school (his second attempt at senior year, apparently), and Steve...isn't. He should be, probably, but there's no way he's stepping one foot in that suburban nightmare of a building. He can feel the normalcy, the utter boredom, oozing from the place, and he'd rather not subject himself to that.
So, he spends his day wandering around Hawkins, getting a feel for the little town until he could navigate the place blindfolded. He can do the same in Gotham, but it's more impressive there with the winding streets and sprawling sidewalks. Here, it's nothing special.
The most interesting part of his day is when he's sitting on the roof of a video store, one leg dangling over the edge with the other pulled to his chest so he can rest his arm on his knee. He's about halfway through a cigarette when a cop car pulls into the lot and a middle-aged man steps out.
He looks up at Steve, frowning as he calls up, "You shouldn't be there, son."
"I ain't your son," he calls back, grinning as he takes another drag and blows smoke out as the guy rests his hands on his belt. It reminds him so much of Gotham PD rookies trying to posture that Steve can't help laughing. "Is that supposed to intimidate me?"
"I'm serious, kid," the cop says, apparently ignoring Steve's question. "It's dangerous up there. If you don't come down, I'm gonna have to call the Fire Department to bring the ladder."
Steve sighs and puts his cigarette out on the roof. He gets up, stretches his arms above his head, and stands on the ledge of the roof. He grins at the cop, casually stepping into empty air and hearing the guy shout as he falls. He lands in a crouch on the awning over the door, swings to hang from it, and lands on his feet on the sidewalk.
It wasn't even much of a fall, but the cop looks like he's about to have a heart attack. Steve glances at the badge on his chest. "We done now, Officer Hopper?" he asks.
"Don't do that again," Hopper says, pointing a finger at Steve, "Or I will drag your ass to the station and call your parents."
Steve snorts, doing his best to hold his smile back. "I'll keep that in mind, sir," he says, giving a mocking two-finger salute before turning on his heels and walking down the street.
After a few blocks, he veers off into the forest, figuring he'll wander around the trees for a while before going to the Hideout to bother Bev and stare at Eddie and quietly pray someone else is gonna look for a fight.
Did he mention Hawkins is boring? Because it's fucking boring.
Steve sighs, kicking a stick as he shoves his hands into his jacket. He idly notes the forest is healthy. Sure, a few pieces of litter are strewn around, but it's not as bad as the parks in Gotham can get. Poison Ivy would find this place barely passable, which is hard to manage, and he's tempted to call her when he gets home to tell her about it.
He hums softly as he walks, enjoying the sounds of the forest until they just...stop.
The entire forest falls silent, which is weird; forests are too full of life to go silent. Even the bugs seem to have frozen in place, too scared to risk making a sound by moving. Steve stops, looking around him with a frown and trying to figure out what's caused this.
He gets the answer a second later when he hears a scream. The voice sounds young and cracks slightly, so it definitely belongs to a child. Despite himself, Steve can't help grinning as he takes off in the direction of the scream.
This is the most exciting thing to happen in the four weeks he's been stuck in Hawkins. As he runs through trees and easily jumps over bushes to take the shortest path, he makes guesses on what he'll find. Maybe Hawkins has a villain that's only now showing up. Maybe the town has a secret alligator or something that's decided to have a midday snack. Hell, maybe someone just decided to be a dick today.
He realizes every guess is wrong when he slides into a clearing to see a few kids (two boys, one girl) surrounded by some weird dog-looking...things. They have heads but no faces, crouched low to the ground and growling at the kids they've cornered. There's around ten of them, which would normally make Steve hesitate, but he's so desperate at this point for a real fight that he doesn't care.
Instead, he reaches over his shoulder, thinks about how fucking hilarious it's gonna be to jump out of nowhere with a giant mallet, and grips the handle as he swings it over his shoulder. "Hey, monster mutts!" he shouts, grinning when all the monsters and the kids finally notice him. "Let's play."
Pure, unfiltered joy rushes through him when the first monster-dog jumps at him. Steve's eyes are bright and his grin is positively feral as he swings the mallet and sends it flying into a tree. He roundhouse kicks another dog, using the momentum to bring his foot down on the head of a third before smashing its body with the mallet.
"Are you insane?!" one of the kids shouts.
"Certifiably!" he shouts back, watching as another monster-dog jumps at him. He waits for the perfect moment to back flip, bringing his feet under the dog to send it flying. He brings the mallet up as he lands, clocking another monster under the jaw. It yelps, crashing into another dog.
"Where'd this guy even come from?" the girl asks, turning to look at the boys with her.
"I don't know, but I'm happy to let him deal with the demodogs."
Oh. That's what they're called. Steve hums softly at the name, grinning as he twirls the mallet and swings with all his strength at one of the demodog. He rests the mallet on his shoulder like a baseball bat, watching the demodog arch in the air with an appreciative whistle. "Solid air," he says, nodding once before looking at the remaining demodogs.
There's only three, the others scattered in the clearing. He can't tell if they're dead or not, but he could always smash them to mush when he's done. Steve grins at the remaining dogs. "C'mon, then," he says, only to be filled with disappointment when they creep back, turn heel, and run.
"Damn, that's no fun," Steve says, sighing as he rests the mallet on the ground and leans on the handle. He looks at the kids. "You guys okay?"
The girl has orange hair pulled back into a messy braid. She's staring at him like he's got two heads but is kind of impressed by it. One of the boys has curly hair being smothered by his hat, and the other is wearing a basketball jersey. They're also staring at Steve like he's crazy. "Dude," the curly-haired one says, "that was awesome!"
"Where'd you get that mallet from?" the girl asks.
"Jester Logic," Steve explains, shrugging as he picks the mallet up and walks over. "Wanna hold it?"
When the girl lights up, he passes the mallet to her, snorting when she immediately staggers under its weight. "How do you hold this so easily?"
"Jester Logic. Again. It's funnier when other people find it heavy."
"That makes no sense," basketball jersey says.
"Who are you?" curly hair asks.
"Steve. Moved here recently. What about y'all?"
"Dustin," curly hair says.
"Lucas," basketball jersey says.
"Max," the girl says, her voice strained until Steve takes the mallet back, twirling it like it weighs nothing.
"Great. Nice to meet y'all. Now, what the fuck were those?"
"How much time you got?" Dustin asks.
Steve grins, thinking he's finally found something that can keep him entertained when he's not hanging around Eddie. "Plenty."
---------
Tag list (let me know if you'd like to be added!)
@nectandra, @y4r3luv, @just-a-tiny-void,
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kitkat-the-muffin · 1 month
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Tis a niche of its own
Sorry there is only two female characters, I kinda pulled these off the top of my head and probably missed a ton of other candidates. Reblog with an addition if you have one!
Edit: I forgot to make this poll a week long! Once this poll ends I'll remake it with new additions depending on the results (the characters with the fewest results will be replaced with suggested characters from the notes so be sure to suggest some!) in the meantime tho plz reblog to increase sample size
This follows my own definition of what "Comic Relief" means: A character that is used as a conduit for comedy in a piece of media
Through character studies I have determined that there are 5 types of comic relief: the Character Relief, the Audience Relief, the Tone Shifter, the Butt of the Joke, and the Slapstick. Characters that identify as "Comic Relief" usually fall into one or more of these categories
Further explanation under the cut
The Character Relief refers to a character who actively makes jokes to be funny in-universe through conscious humor. Examples from this poll would be Sans and Rayla, who go out of their way to make their friends laugh
The Audience Relief refers to a character who makes the audience laugh regardless of their impact on the story. Examples from this poll would be Lapis and Gus, who are often involved in comedic bits meant for audience entertainment that aren't acknowledged by the narrative as anything unprecedented
The Tone Shifter refers to a character who makes jokes to relieve tension and shift the tone of a scene, either consciously or unconsciously. Examples from this poll would be Jay and Leo, as they both consciously make jokes about grim situations to help their friends or family feel better. Additionally, Jay would do this unconsciously before his trauma made him start doing it on purpose
The Butt of the Joke refers to a character who is made fun of by other characters in-universe, whether endearingly or not. Examples from this poll would be Dewey and Lance, who are often met with insults whenever they do something wrong or silly. The insults are usually meant to be endearing and comedic, but they can still feed into the character's possible inferiority complex. This also applies whenever a villain hits them with a sick burn*
The Slapstick refers to a character who is made fun of by the narrative and the audience like a punching bag. Examples from this poll would be Sokka and Yusuke, who are sometimes put in troubling and awkward situations as a gag for the audience's entertainment alone. These gags are not fun for the characters yet delightful to watch
Most comic relief characters can be characterized as multiples of these. For example, Jar-Jar from Star Wars is both Slapstick and Audience Relief, and even if you don't find his jokes funny that doesn't change the fact that they were written with your entertainment in mind
If you're curious how a "The Narrative's Favorite (derogatory)" character would fit into this chart, they're likely both a Butt of the Joke and a Slapstick character, making their life absolute hell. To be honest, MK from Monkie Kid is an example of a character who fits all 5 categories, but he isn't blue so he isn't in this poll
*Ok if you've ever seen Phineas and Ferb Mission Marvel let me just say MODOK is a total Butt of the Joke and my favorite line in that special is when a TV announcer calls him a "Giant Chicken Egg with a Face" and I just had to mention that omg
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thegoldencontracts · 2 months
Text
Too Late!
You and Azul are texting each other one day when he accidentally sends you some more honest texts.
Note/Warnings: Azul/Reader, fluff with a smidgen of angst (specifically Azul insecurities, he gets comforted tho)
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You loved Azul. A lot. You'd been dating him for quite a while now, after all. But you couldn't deny that it felt like he was a bit- formal with you, to say the least. Sometimes, it felt like he was playing the role of a perfect boyfriend in a Romance Novel's screen adaptation. How did he really feel? Was he happy to be somewhere, or was he just playing along so that the other students in his dorm could see how attractive and understanding he was while they seethed in envy at the fact that they were single and he wasn't?
Which was why when Azul slipped up one day when you were texting, you were very, very happy about it.
It was a boring evening, like always. You were texting Azul, complaining about your homework while lounging in your bed like always. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Zuzuuu <3: You know, if you'd like, I'd be happy to assist with your homework. It'll even be on the house, just for you.
Me: cant believe im dating a capitalist mf /lh
Me: really tho, tysmmm for helping <3 I don't deserve u bbg...
And then, something completely out of the ordinary happened.
Zuzuuu <3: how could you say that you're literally so perfect? I love you so much I keep doodling you bc you're so. Pretty. I simp so hard for you plz never say that again <3
At first, you wondered if Floyd wrote the text as a joke. It was pretty in character for him, after all. But that didn't make sense. This wasn't Floyd's way of texting, nor did it even attempt to imitate Azul's. When Floyd was in the mood to prank someone, he put in the effort to make it good.
Whatever. You took a screenshot of the message so you could treasure it forever. And lucky you, because right after you did, the message was deleted.
Zuzuuu <3: Please don't say such things about yourself, even for comedic purposes.
He was not being slick with that. You sent a text in response, giggling all the while.
Zuzuuu <3: Regardless, would you like to come over later today?
Me: Real slick hehe... Plz show me ur doodles of me they probably look so good bc you're good at art just like everything else somehow
After a while, Azul replied.
Zuzuuu <3: I don't know what you're referring to. Regardless, would you like to come over?
As much as you wanted to press, you decided not to. Too much pressing would just make Azul clam up more. You'd just have to get him in person, where it'd be harder for him to run away when you showed him the screenshot.
Me: Sureee! Heading over right now
And so, you set out for Octavinelle, evidence in hand. You were going to make him admit he sent that text.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time you got to Azul's room, you had everything planned out. He wasn't usually so candid with you, and he was clearly ashamed of it when he was. You were going to figure out why.
You knocked on the door, and Azul opened it, letting you in.
"Come in," he said, tone even more formal than usual, by some miracle.
"Thanks," you said, taking a seat.
"So, about that text-"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Azul said, quick to cut you off.
"So quick to interrupt, Azul!" You said with a mock-pout, before grinning as you pulled up the screenshot on your phone. "But I think you do."
First, Azul's mouth hung open in shock. Then, his whole face turned red, lip quivering as a high-pitched whine left his mouth. Then, he moved to snatch the phone from your hands.
You narrowly dodged, and you couldn't resist sticking out your tongue at him.
"Too slow!" You laughed as he tried to grab the phone from you again, only to fail even more without the element of surprise on his side, because for all of Azul's many strengths, speed wasn't one of them.
"Delete that at once!" He shrieked, voice cracking in the middle.
He kept trying to grab it for a while, before finally giving up.
"Fine, fine," he grumbled, pouting like a kid. Cute. "You win. Are you satisfied now?"
"Very," you said, "because I get to see you. Your actual thoughts. Not just the ultra-filtered version."
Azul scoffed at that, seemingly in disbelief, though you saw the way he stifled a smile.
"Don't flatter me," he said. "My 'true thoughts' are not something you'd want to see in the slightest. Merely a more pathetic, messy version of what I already tell you."
"And that's precisely why I want to hear it," she said. "You sound so perfect all the time that I wonder whether you're really being honest with me, you know. It's just so refreshing to see you be gushy and candid about things. And pretty cute."
"How odd," he said, before turning to you with a face more genuine. "Thank you. For what little it's worth, I'll try to be a tad more honest with you. I can't promise anything, though."
You smiled.
"That's all I ask."
And really, truly, that was enough.
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Bonus:
"So, how'd you learn so much internet lingo? Never took you for that kinda guy."
"I'm in the board games club with Idia Shroud. What did you expect?"
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rubywithecat · 3 days
Text
Tokyo revengers men reacting to your attitude
Ran Haitani
“Hey pretty girl” he yelled at u when u were minding ur own business and walking on street. “Can I have ur number” he asked. “What a womanizer he is to casually wanna flirt with me”u thought. “Sorry I don’t have phone” U said as u rolled ur eyes and tried to continue walking but he blocked u with his body to walk further. “Damn that attitude” he laughed and before u even knew, he already grabbed ur phone from ur pocket and dialed his number and made a call to his. “Easy huh? Remember this is my number, love” he said. U reached his hand to grab ur phone back and shout “Hey! Are u a pickpocket? It’s is illegal to steal my phone” His head bent down to ur height and gave u ur phone back. “Ur blocked, asshole” u said angrily and walked away. “Hard to handle huh? U won’t get away with that” he smirked.
Rindou Haitani
He was hanging out with his friend when he was suddenly slapped by u. His eyes widened as he was surprised and has absolutely no idea about it. Then u said to him intensely “This is for breaking my friend’s heart, asshole”. “What—? What the heck r u talking about, lady?” He asked, narrowing his eyes. “Oh well. Now u wanna play victim?” U stepped forward daringly. He was just staring at us in confusion when ur fri ran quickly to u and grabbed ur arm. “Y/n!! What r u doing?? It’s not him!” She yelled in worry. “I know u wanna defend him but he doesn’t deserve-“ before u could finish, ur fri quickly said “he’s not my ex!” It shocked u and u felt embarrassed and guilty for doing that to the innocent guy. U slowly look at him in guilt “Sir… I am sooo sorry. Plz forgive me!” U bowed and quickly about to leave. “Hey, miss” he called. “Do u think u can just leave like that?” he made u look up and smirked. “Such a pretty girl. It doesn’t suit ur rude attitude tho. I will decide what u have to do in order to get my forgiveness”
Chifuyu
U were walking with ur pet dog in the evening in ur neighborhood when u suddenly became thirsty so u went into the shop to buy some water and left ur dog outside the shop, tied it’s leash on someone bike. When u walk out, he saw a guy trying to unleash ur dog and ur dog bit him. He screamed aloud. U quickly rushed there and yelled at him. “Hey! R u trying to steal my precious dog?” He was being accused and just looking at u speechless. “R u out of ur mind, miss? Ur dog here bite him and u r accusing me?” He stood up. U backed a step. “That’s— U were trying to steal so he bite?” He let out a sigh in disbelief “this is my bike, miss. I need to ride this bike to get back to home” He explained impatiently. “Whatever… here’s the money if u have to go to clinic for the wound” u felt guilty saying that but u still wanna deny it was ur fault. He grabbed ur hand and gave u back ur money. “I don’t need this. It’s fine” he stepped into his bike. “Wait— Umm… I know it’s my fault…I’m sorry” u finally said despite ur ego. He smiled and nodded. “Can I get ur number?Ah— don’t think other way—I just wanna— ah—“ u felt so embarrassed asking him and he laughed softly. “It’s ok, I know right?” He took a note from his pocket and write numbers and gave u. “Here” he smirked and u just lowered ur hand, starring at ground cuz u felt so shy to even look at him now u can’t believe instantly fall in love with him.
Izana
U were drinking so much alone cuz of stress. He had his eyes on u just because he doesn’t want a girl who is alone to be assaulted by perverts, not in front of him. U paid the bills and stood up to walk but u were nearly to fall cuz of u drank more than ur limit and u could barely see the ground clearly. U felt someone grabbed ur arms and said smth but u couldn’t hear clearly. He then repeated in louder voice this time. “Miss, can u even walk??” He asked. U pushed him with ur strength. “I can walk by myself. I dont need any help from perverts so get lost” u said, thinking he’s just like those creepy guys from bars. U took another step and now he didn’t grab u, so u fell on ur knees. “Ouch it hurts” u mumbled. “That serves u right, miss high ego” he commented as he wrapped his arms. U were angry so u tried ur best to stood up again and grabbed his shirt collar. U could smell alcohol and smoke from him as well but u realized u were staring at his pretty icy eyes for long and blushed. U quickly let go of his collar out of embarrassment “I will let u go this one time cuz ur pretty boy” u said awkwardly, and u could hear him laugh about it. U walked again and this time he caught u when u were about to fall again. “I don’t know how the hell u think u can even walk to the exist with this condition” he sarcastically said. He sighed “Let me help u” and carried u “hey! What the hell u think u doing??” U yelled but he ignored and walked to his car and put u on seat belt. “So miss, where is ur home?” He asked as he started engine. “No— I can’t go home like this my parent gonna fcking kill me” u said, worried. He laughed softly “wait so u still living with ur parent?” He asked. “Yeah? Is there anything wrong with that?” U side-eyed him. “I’m just kidding. Don’t be mad” he replied in giving up gesture. U looked at him for a sec and laughed cuz he seems cute. “My mum probably gonna like u” u said and u could feel him getting excited. “Do u wanna join for dinner?” U invited him. His eyes lighted up. “Can I?” U smiled “ofc but only if u want to and don’t get any other idea!” U said, embarrassed.
Hey loves! I hope u like this as well <3
I’m writing a few random characters that are in my mind so there might be less chance to see ur desire character. That’s why if u have any character in ur mind u can comment down below or ask me in request <33
Thanks a lot!! Any kind of support are very much appreciated ><
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iaeriy · 9 months
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alone (pedri x reader)
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pt1!
warnings!; spanish speaking, smut, unprotected sex, fluff at the end!
note!; this took me so long since i had a few issues at home& i was pretty busy these past days and weeks, i have deicdd to make a masterlist and should be getting uploaded between any of these days now, alsoo.. i realized you can only make requests for a fanfic through online tumblr..i don't know why but plz don't ever be afraid to write a request at all,, but besides this. enjoy the pt2 to windows! :')
you had just gotten back form school, it was 3pm and everybody wasn't at home, that includes your annoying brother, your mom and dad. you went to your room as you put your bag down on the chair next to your laptop. you left school since you weren't feeling too well and you had a headache, since you were alone for god knows how long, you decided to go shower. you made your way to the bathroom as you turned the shower on and you undressed yourself.
you did a whole routine as you took your time on taking care of yourself, you got changed into one of pedris hoodie that he let you keep and your white cheeky lace panties. you went downstairs to go get a snack and just try and find some medicine until you heard thuds and footsteps coming from your room..which was upstairs.. you ignored it until it got louder, you rolled your eyes as you held lola, the blonde furry weiner dog as you giggled when she began to scratch and jump on your legs.
you held her as you sat down on the couch, laying down as you went on your phone turning some random tv show on, it started to thunder and the clouds were getting darker as tint of grey and dark blue appeared, you opened the door that led to the backyard as you slid it to the side, "lola! go tinkle before it starts to pour!" you said as you watched her run out the house into the backyard, she started barking as you followed her outside, she usually struggles to get down the stairs from the pathio and to the grass. you held her then went down the small stairs as you placed her down before looking around.
once it started to pour you watched lola come back inside running before you closed the door, you turned the tv off as you heard the same thuds and sounds from upstairs, you grabbed your stuff before going to your room as you made your way upstaird after turning everything off, you walked into your room looking at your window then looking around your room.
"helloooo..?" you said looking around before the door behind you closed quietly, you looked around your room even under your bed until, "Y/N!" you screamed loudly as you dropped your phone again before you turned around, pedri.. "this is the 2nd time you do this! quit scaring me!" you smacked his arm as he kept laughing as your reaction, you cupped his cheeks before slapping him playfully, "you're all soaked..why did you come either way.." you said running your hands through his damoed hair giggling, "i came because i got your message, i wanted to see if you were okay." he said before he sat down on your bed.
"you're all wet too.." you said ruffling his hair as you sat on his lap putting your hands on the hem of his shirt, lifting his shirt above his head, you giggled cupping his cheeks, "just cover yourself with the blanket for now, it's okay" you said kissing his cheek before getting off his lap wiping off the footprints and the puddle of water that was scattered in your room, you placed a towel on the edge of your window since you'd rather prefer the air than your fan.
you sat back on the bed as you covered your thighs, last time you had your thighs and panties out well.. it turned out to be a sex session, even tho you've been thinking about it lately you just nudged it off and just not thought as much about it, "why'd you leave early? it's only 3.." he said holding your hand as he began to caress it with his thumb, you looked down and smiled before looking at him, "i had a headache and i was nauseous as well, i don't know why tho." you said as you felt his hand go on your thigh, you smacked his hand off, "stop it." you said. he pulled his hand away as he rubbed his hand pouting as you laughed at his reaction, your dimples showing off.
"it's not from 2 weeks ago right?" he said as he was referring to the last time the two of you had sex. yo shook your head smiling, "no bebé..i was on the pill, you're okay. don't worry about it." you said as he held your waist placing you ontop of him. "we can't..my parents could come home any second.. and hey!-" you said as he cut you off lifting your hoodie up as your panties exposed him, "llevas mis bragas favoritas puestas.." (you have my favorite panties on..) he said chuckling as he began to caress your thigh. he slid his hands inside your hoodie as you covered your face with your hands, his cold hands squeezed your breasts as you moaned out in agony. his finger tips began to rub and squeeze your nipple. you bit down on your lip. "we can't.." you whispered smacking his chest playfully, "no estabas timida hace dos semanas.." (you weren't shy two weeks ago..) he whispered as he sat up a bit, his crotch hitting your clothed slit, you moaned out as you uncovered your face and looked at him.
"fuck it.." you whispered as you took off your hoodie as your bare chest fully was exposed, you cupped his cheeks as you smashed your lips on his kissing him, he kissed back holding onto your waist as you continued to kiss him. you wrapped your arms around his neck as he held onto your breast, you hummed in between the kiss as you moved your hips slightly against his clothed dick. he bit down on your lip as he slid his tongue, exploring your mouth ss you moaned running your hand down the back of his hair, you sucked on hia tongue and his lips as he squeezed your breast slightly. "i-i want..more.." you stopped for a bit to catch your breath as you kissed him again, you continued to rock your hips slowly asgianst his clothed cock as you moaned in the kiss while grunts and small groans escaped out of pedris mouth.
he looked down at your panties as he slid them to the side, your clit being exposed as your panties were still on, you rubbed yourself against him as you gasped in pleasure holding onto his bicep, god.. he was so beautiful you just wanted him in you already, you whined as you continued to move yourself against him. he stopped you as he squeezed your butt before he pulled your panties down to your mid inner thigh, you giggled before getting off his lap as you laid down infront of him, he kissed your cheek before kissing down onto your body as he pecked each of your breast. you giggled ruffling his hair before he kissed down onto your stomach, his breathing against your cold body as you arched your back whimpering as he dragged your panties down with his teeth. you blushed heavily as he threw them on the floor, you giggled as you pushed him down you pulled his black sweatpants down as you sat on his crotch again.
you pulled down his boxers tossing them ontop of your clothes on the floor as his dick sprung out. you swallowed thickly as you hovered your legs over his thighs, lining yourself above his dick, before sinking yourself in as your breath started to hitch out. "this is.. different from..u-usual.." you said blushing heavily as he chuckled cupping your ass cheek, kneading it as you began to move your hips back & fortg around his cock. you mewled out pleasurable moans, placing your hands on his chest as your hips were at a steady pace that had you moaning. he squeezed your ass cheek as you whimpered as he watched your breasts bounce up and down slightly. admiring your body as he held onto your waist.
"you're so unreal..nobody i'd do this with but you." he whispered as you giggled before leaning down to kiss himas you held onto his shoulder, your other hand cupping his cheek. he kissed back guiding you by your ass, you moaned in between the kiss before he sat up as he lifted his hips up, his dick pushing you deeper as you shrieked a bit before you placed your forehead against his, your other hand holding his jaw as the two of you kissed while you repeatedly grinded your hips agaisnt his girth. your kisses being muffled just in case your parents came back. as a matter fact..they did. but you left a message saying you weren't feeling so well, so you had them under your trap, you closed your eyes as you enjoted the pace, a slow abd sready one that had you drunked out from the pleasure, you sighed out in pleasure before looking at him, his brown chocolate eyes. you cupped his cheeks as tears formed from the pleasure, "w-want me to move..f-faster?" you stuttered trying to comprehend your sentence as he caressed your waist chuckling, "whatever you're okat with, i am too hermosa.." he whispered as you nodded your head.
you held onto his shoulders as you began to bounce quicker on his dick, your wetness spreading everywhere as your ass hit his thighs from how deeply and quick you were moving, the repeated movement had you moaning constantly, fuck you were definitely in heaven..your eyes were shut as your head was leaned back before his dick hit against your sweet spot, you lowered your head, your eyes still closed as your moans were getting higher and higherm you were so fucked out you didn't even feel pedri's palm when he covered your mouth, "h-hey!" you shouted into his hand as your sentence got muffled, you spasmed opening your eyes whining into his hand, he chuckled as he kneaded your ass cheek, "you're parents are here..how didn't you hear them mi amor.." he said quietly as you whined out before your head fell on his shoulder as you panted trying to catch your breath.
he pushed you down on the bed as your back hit the sheets and your head hit the pillows, he caressed your thigh before cupping your cheek as your lips found his in a slow passionate messy kiss as your hand tugged on his hair, pulling him closer. he held onto your inner thigh before placing his hand underneath you as the two of you kissed, he lifted your thigh from beneath placing it on his hips as he pushed himself in, he bit down ono your lower lip sliding his tongue into your mouth as you moaned into his mouth when he began to pump himself in & out of you slowly but passionately, he wrapped your legs around his waist thrusting a bit deeper as you digged your nails into his skin. he rested his sweaty forehead as you felt his breath against the bridge of your nose that was all rosy, even your cheeks were all pink. "my god..you feel so amazing.." he says, his voice a little shaky as you giggled between your moans before he found your g-spot.
you arched your back as a whiny moan slipped out of your mouth, you scratched his back as you dug your nails into his skin, as a moan slipped out of his mouth. he thrusted deeply into your g-spot as he smirked holding onto your waist tightly as he sped up his pace slamming himself back and forth against your spot. he rested his face against your neck as your legs wrapped around his hips, groaning and moaning at the way he thrusted deeply and passionately against you. you leaned your head against your pillow as you breathlessly moaned between every thrust against your clit, your stomach felt warm, small little butterflies you felt as well. you lifted his cin looking at him, little sparkles in his eyes as you smiled at him, he pecked your nose as he sped up thrusting quickly against your g-spot.
you tugged on his hair as you moaned louder closing your eyes he leaned down to your neck as he began to plant wet kisses sucking on noticeable areas, you whined out in between your moans as you moaned into his ear scratching his back slightly as you felt your stomach tighten, you whimpered into his ear as your breathing increased and got heavier, "p-pedri..i-i'm-" you said before getting cut off as he placed his finger over your lips, "i know mi vida..i know.." he said before thrusting quicker than he was as you felt his dick hit your cervix many times, each thrust recieving a shriek and a whiny moan, he cupped your cheeks as he kissed you passionately yet deeply, you moaned in between the kiss as you felt your thighs shaking uncontrollably.
his thrusts began getting sloppier as he twitched inside of you, your moans getting whiny and becoming high pitched as you digged your nails into his back, he pulled away from the kiss as he looked down at you, your pink heavy cheeks and glossy teary eyes, "wh-what happened.." you struggled to say as he chuckled at your fucked out of state mind, "nada..you're so beautfiul.." he said shakingly as you giggled before pulling him closer, as both of your forehead's touched, his nose an inch away from yours. "joder..estoy cerca.."(fuck..am close..) he said gripping onto your hips tightly as yoy were trembling non-stop beneath him. "q-quiero correrme.." (i-i wanna cum..) you said biting down on his shoulder as he groaned in pain, "correte para mi hermosa.."(cum for me gorgeous..) he said shakingly as you relreased yourself whiny moaning, spasming all over his cock as he groaned loudly feeling your wamrness as he came inside of you, filling you up with his seed as he collapsed on your chest.
heavy breathing filled up the room as you looked down at pedri, you played with the small strands of his damped hair as he looked up at you smiling, "how's your headache now?" he said caressing your waist as you rolled your eyes giggling, "b-better..thank you for checking up on me tho, you dork.." you said kissing his cheek as he pulled out carefully, laying down next to you. he pulled you into his chest as you rested your head on his chest, you traced your hands down his chest, tracing the scratch marks you left from earlier. he chuckled patting your butt before you fell asleep on his chest a few minutes later.. he looked down as he noticed before he smiled kissing your cheek before wrapping the two of you into the blanket as you two fell asleep.
you woke up to pedris head being on your chest as he snuggled his head against your breasts, you giggled as he woke up looking at you he pecked your boob before he checked his phone, he groaned in annoyance as you watched him type his reply back to his mother, asking where he was and when he's coming back home. he put his phone down before he rested his head back on your chest, "am not leaving until tomorrow morning, it's okay.." he said as you smiled before falling back asleep as the two of you fell asleep, it was still raining outside, cold air was roaming through the room again. the sound of water outside your window and the small thunder making it even better for you to sleep, the blanket covering the two of you as your chest including pedris were somewhat exposed.
your head was resting on his chest after shifting around movements. he sat up as you whined before waking up looking at him half asleep, "where are you goingg..come back.." you said as the blanket fell and now your breasts were exposed. he giggled putting his shirt back on as his sweatpants were already put on as he kissed your cheel, you looked at him kissing his lips as he kissed back then kissing your forehead. "tengo que irme..te vere en unos dias o tal vez esta noche.." (i have to leave..i'll see you later on in a few days or later..) he said winking at you as you smiled before he kissed you again, you kissed back cupping his cheeks before pulling away. "gracias.. por anoche bebé.." you said before he hugged you kissing your cheek, you hugged back as your hands wrapped around his waist, "te quiero mucho, te vere mas tarde mi amor.." (i love you so much, i'll see you later on my love..) he said as he kissed your cheek before walking to your window as he stepped out and left your room. you fell back on your bed as your head hit the pillows, you covered yourself in your sheets bringing it to your chin, turning to your side as you fell back asleep.
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lowkeyrobin · 2 months
Note
hello:))
been loving ur mcyt preferences, and was wondering if you would do one where reader has insomnia???
I take medication for it and i got took off it for a break UGHH. anyways luv ur writing and take ur time plz:))
ooooo okay!! ; and thank you thank you, I appreciate it 🫶🫶🫶
MCYT ; insomniac/night owl
includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, & quackity
warnings ; language, sleep paralysis, jokes about OD'ing (melatonin)
masterlist
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TOMMYINNIT
genuinley feels so bad bc the second he closes his eyes, he's passed the hell out
he'll try and stay awake with you though and wait for the melatonin or just sleep in general to kick in
"if you're too tired to work, then don't. go back to sleep, don't worry about it"
compares you to tubbo 24/7
will bring you cherries and some milk because natural melatonin ❗️❗️
sometimes he'll try and stay awake with you and turn a movie on and he'll just pass out on your shoulder
you'll walk into his stream after sleeping until like 5 in the evening and quietly wave with a groggy look on your face
he laughs (in a very lighthearted way dw)
"y/nnnnn I know you're tired but we gotta go before we miss it"
"I'm coming, I'm coming"
you're basically just a night owl, like his personal guard dog lmao
he'll joke about it a bit too, how you're protecting him in the dark from the monsters 😭
TUBBO
honestly same
you'll both be up all night and sleep all day
you can go a solid two days without sleep and start tweaking and he'll basically have to rock you to sleep like a baby
"shhh, it's okay. just relax, listen to the rain"
jokes about you overdosing on melatonin as well 💀
"Oh nah, the sleep paralysis demon is gonna get me if I sleep"
"so I have to sleep but you don't have too? mkay pal"
if he can't sleep while you finally are, he'll actually cook for once in his life
and he'll save the leftovers for whenever you wake up
he genuinley won't wake you up unless you're gonna be late for something LMFAO
he gets it tho
this dynamic you got with him, 🔛🔝
RANBOO
he can and will stay up all night with you
mostly plays video games with you in hopes you'll get tired that way
which works a bit
does insane amounts of research, gets you eating all sorts of natural melatonin before bed and even gets you like children's melatonin gummies 💀💀
"do you have a sleep paralysis demon? are you just scared to sleep?"
"I just cannot sleep, I just toss and turn all night, I swear to god"
one of those people to do endless amounts of research to try and help
"do you wanna go to the doctor and get a prescription or something? maybe it'll help"
tweeting/posting about dumb shit you do at night
"y/n made a whole loaf of bread overnight someone send help"
"tell me why I woke up this morning to my partner staring into my soul holy shit"
FREDDIE BADLINU
also feels rlly bad that he can't help you
also brings you cherries, bananas and milk for natural melatonin in hopes it'll help a bit
will genuinley take you to a doctor to get you a prescription or something
also tweets about the shit you do while he's asleep overnight
"guys y/n picked up crocheting overnight wth"
"love when my partner wakes me up at 5am for breakfast because it was going cold 🥰 (they started cooking at 3:30am)
he can't stay up too late most days, he's a busy man
he feels so bad if you're sleeping through the whole day, he barely ever wakes you up bc he knows you're tired
"love, go back to sleep, you were up all night, I'll call you in sick, don't worry about it"
he strays away from od jokes when you're taking melatonin gummies/pills but sometimes he just has to say it
if you have a sleep paralysis demon as well, yk damn well he'll find his way into your dreams and beat the bitch up
if you can't sleep but he can, he'll just hold you and hope that you'll sleep soon
you'll usually sit there and play with his hair and admire him til you gotta get up and do something
NIKI NIHACHU
like ranboo, she puts in endless research of just trying to find things that might help you
she feels so bad
especially when you're sleeping all through the day and feel groggy as hell 24/7
if you have a paralysis demon she always reassures you that she'll beat it up for you next time it comes around
anything to make you smile bro
she's so sweet about it, if you're sleeping she makes sure to keep it quiet because this is one of the rare chances when you're sleeping
if you go multiple days without sleep and start tweaking out, she'll comfort you to sleep, doesn't matter how long it'll take
"It's okay, honey. it's okay, just focus on the rain sounds outside"
dedicated a whole kinda calm music playlist to help you sleep/relax yourself
finds it so funny when you do shit during the night to try and entertain yourself and it's the most random shit
like you'll go out and feed stray cats, accidently steal a shopping cart, fight the air and record it, etc
sleepy on stream hugs >>>
"well good morning, sunshine. its seven pm"
ALEX QUACKITY
"bro how do you not sleep"
if you got a sleep paralysis demon.... oh it's over for that mf
tweets about the dumb exhausted shit you do
"how do I turn y/n off at bedtime? I'm tired of waking up to see them staring into my soul"
"I love waking up to breakfast (I've been woken up at 4am for the past 2 weeks help me rn)"
thinks it's funny and sad at the same time when you start tweaking after not sleeping
"bro, go to sleep, cmon, it's okay, you're fine" as he's trying not to laugh at you
literally stuffs you with melatonin around 7:30 to see if it'll help LMAO
even talks on stream about how he's gonna fight the demons and pretends whoever he's fighting w is one LMAO
loves when you walk into stream all groggy and tired because he can finally spend a little time w you
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norrizzandpia · 8 months
Text
This Is About Oscar?! (OP81)
Summary: Y/n’s new song exposes a side of Oscar no one knew about.
Warnings: the whole thing is basically just about sex, language
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y/nnn Surprise! 34+35 out tonight 💗
Comments:
oscarpiastri i think its pretty good
- y/nnn you only think that for one reason and we both know it
Liked by oscarpiastri
oscpastry guys… 34+35= 69……..
- mclarensgirly i fear we are getting the WHOLE story
- pieasstree YOU FEAR??? I WANNA KNOW
- mclarensgirly I MEAN ME TOO BUT HOW WILL WE LOOK BABY OSCAR IN THE EYE AFTER???
landonorris im scared oscar hasnt stopped smiling all day
- oscarpiastri what can i say? Its not everyday your girlfriend writes a song about you
- y/nnn babe youve heard the song im not sure you want to go broadcasting it that its abt you
- oscarpiastri are you kidding????? Of course i do
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y/nnn 34+35 out now (oscar wanted me to make it known the song is about him 🤦🏼‍♀️)
Comments:
oscpastry THIS SONG??????? IS ABOUT?????? OSCAR PIASTRI?????? THE RACING DRIVER??????? FOR MCLAREN???
- mclarensgirly YEAH WTF ARE WE MISSING SOMETHING
- pieasstree “you drink it just like water, you say it taste like candy” WHO IS THIS MAN
oscarpiastri this is the best day of my life
- pastry81 i dont know who you even are anymore
- f1butmore-mclaren how did mclaren even sign off on this
- y/nnn its my music i choose what i release all that mattered was if oscar was comfortable (he was comfortable to a degree that was concerning)
- oscarpiastri real
landonorris most recent google search: “how to erase your memory and ability to hear and see” i can never look either of you in the eye anymore
- y/nnn I TOLD YOU NOT TO LISTEN TO IT
- landonorris I DIDNT THINK YOU WERE GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY TEAMMATE THAT GRAPHICALLY
- y/nnn thats your own fault then
Twitter Thread
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pieasstree youre gonna tell me 34 35 is abt this man.
- oscpastry “even though im wifey you can hit it like a side chick” is dick whipped the correct term for this???
- mclarensgirly plz never say dick whipped again but yeah i believe so
- pieasstree WE ARE MOVING AWAY FROM THE MAIN TOPIC OF CONVO. HOW IS THIS ABOUT HIM. IT JUST DOESNT MAKE SENSE.
- oscarsmyfav i dont know what i was expecting from that song but “i know all your favorite spots, we can take it from the top, youre such a dream come true, make a bitch wanna hit snooze” WAS NOT IT.
- hisrookieseason “i dont wanna keep you up, but show me can you keep it up cause then ill have to keep it up” I HEARD THAT AND IT ALL MADE SENSE
- oscpastry YEAH LIKE NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY HES SO MELLOW ALL THE TIME ITS BC HES TIRED
- oscarpiastri never too tired tho
- pieasstree WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
- oscpastry AM I IN A DREAM THIS IS NOT THE OSCAR I KNOW???????
- y/nnn its the oscar i know…
- mclarensgirly WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON HERE
- oscpastry im so scared rn but also SO intrigued
- pieasstree its the way theyre probably sitting next to each other and laughing at all of us distraught fans
- y/nnn hes very pleased with himself (👇🏻)
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- pieasstree i rlly just dont understand how that man THAT BOY could cause an earthquake in bed as y/n said
- y/nnn trust me he could.
- oscarpiastri trust me i can and i have.
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