#replaying this book reminded me of how much i love this mc
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Pride and Shame
Summary: Beel tells you of an afternoon yelling match between Belphegor and Lucifer. While Belphie plans his revenge, you notice that Lucifer has skipped dinner.
Tags: Hurt/comfort, Lucifer x MC, SFW
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Lucifer stands just outside your bedroom door, poised to knock, but even still he hesitates.
He almost turns on his heel just as the door creaks open. There you are, dressed down for the evening, in comfy clothes, looking surprised to see him.
“If you’re busy I can come back another time.” He isn’t about to make a nuisance of himself.
“No, no I was just about to come to you - I didn’t see you at dinner.” You frown, and he’s torn between the feelings of ease and discomfort.
“I had work to finish.”
“That may be so, but you should at least have something to eat. Come in - please.” You open the door wide for him and yet he hesitates.
“Lucifer?”
Before he can think too hard about it he crosses the threshold, immediately warmed by the atmosphere of your room.
He eyes your textbooks sprawled all over the floor. “Were you studying?”
“Something like that,” you sigh. “Solomon has me on a wild goose chase, all for a special ingredient. I know he knows what I’m supposed to be looking for, but all he’ll give me are cryptic hints. I’ll probably be here all night…” You plop down on the plush carpet, sitting cross legged. You pat the ground beside you and motion for him to sit.
“Would you like some help?”
“I mean yes, I would, but I shouldn’t.” You sigh and run a hand through your hair. “I would love a break though - tell me about your day.”
“My day?” Lucifer settles in, resting his back against the frame of your bed. He straightens the crease of his pant leg. “It’s all very boring, really. My next week is booked solid so I’m trying to finish as much groundwork as I can now. Most of the day was spent signing my name.”
‘Mm, how delightful.” You drawl.
“Indeed.”
He’s quiet, as if that’s all he came for. He can feel your expectant stare and it irks him.
“So I… I may have heard about something that happened from Beel.”
Lucifer sighs, “Yes, what of it?”
“What happened?”
“Didn’t Beel tell you?”
“He told me parts of it, yes… I’m unfamiliar with the other layers of hell. Why did Belphie want to go to the sixth?”
“Because he’s an imbecile, that’s why.” Lucifer rolls his eyes, “Because he has no regard for his or Beel’s safety, because he lives to give me trouble. I had to reason their lives out of the Hands of Ill Temper. I just barely managed by the skin of my teeth.”
“What was Belphie after?”
“I don’t know and I don’t particularly care to know. He shouldn’t have gone in the first place. He has no excuse, leaving me to clean up their messes, putting Beel’s life in danger. Again.” Lucifer needs to move, to pace, something - everything in him itches. He settles on adjusting his socks.
“You really chewed them out, huh.”
“Naturally,” he huffs, “How else will they learn?”
“...Belphie said something else, didn’t he?”
Lucifer stiffens. “It doesn’t matter.”
‘Are you sure?”
Lucifer would rather forget it. He would rather skip dinner and continue working, pen scratching on paper, waiting for the memory to subside. But it never does, it just replays over and over again.
“Belphie, that’s not true, Lucifer doesn’t-”
“Why are you so upset anyway? I assumed you’d want us dead, since we cause you so much trouble. I’d be doing you a favor-”
“Oh doesn’t he? Look - he won’t even deny it, and now he’s just walking away - fucking evil bastard.”
With a click Lucifer had closed the door to his study, put on a cursed record, and refilled his inkwell. Hours of ruminating did nothing. Hours of work did nothing. Now he’s here. What is he doing here? Why did he stop by your door on his way to look for table scraps like a dog? What is wrong with him?
“It… doesn’t matter.” He should leave.
“I think it’s eating you.” He says nothing. “I think that talking about it might help.”
“What is there to talk about?” He bites.“They were reckless. This is nothing new. I reminded them of their own stupidity and Belphie retaliated. Again, nothing new.”
“But… something still bothers you.”
Lucifer clears his throat. “Belphie put both himself and Beel in danger chasing some whim. They could have been imprisoned, they could have been killed for their transgressions - that’s what bothered me, and now it’s finished.”
“I assumed you’d want us dead, since we cause you so much trouble.”
“Is that all that bothers you?” When did you get so close to him? He can feel your softness resting against his side.
“What else would?” Your gentle hand tugs at his glove, taking one off and then the other. This perplexes him but he can’t find it in him to stop you.
“What he said, you know, about you wanting him dead?”
“Nonsense. He was angry.”
“Beel was worried.” Beel was? Lucifer turns to look at you. “That’s why he told me about what Belphie said.”
He sighs. “If… If Belphegor is angry with me, let him be angry. It doesn’t change how I think about the situation.”
“Lucifer.” Suddenly your too steady gaze is fixated on him. “You can deny it all you want, but I… it’s clearly still eating you.” Lucifer’s brow furrows - how dare you assume? As if you’ve read his mind, you clarify. “I know I’m being presumptuous, I know, but please - it hurts you, doesn’t it?”
“Let it.” What is he saying? “Let it hurt. Whatever it takes. He can’t go down there again.”
“But doesn’t it matter that it hurts you?”
“Why should it?” He’s of two minds, one that desperately wants to talk to you, the other screaming at him, a cacophony of voices, pushing it down, down.
“It’s just me, Lucifer.” He feels the comforting warmth of your human hands in his, of your body just barely touching his side. Your room smells like you. The door is locked. It’s after midnight, and the house is quiet.
“I think…” Lucifer swallows, “I think I…
If he could crawl inside you he would. If he could speak directly to your mind he would, spilling his innermost thoughts and feelings without having to say them out loud. He gags on the words, as if once he starts they won’t stop.
This is what it means to be your friend, to be your partner, his mind desperately reasons. How can he fit vulnerability into an acceptable narrative?
He still can’t look at you. "I think I... I was afraid. If they aren't - if I can't be there, if I can't keep them in line, what's stopping the world from-" his eyes water and he blinks rapidly, head tilted back staring at the ceiling. "If he needs to assume that I hate him, if that's what it will take, then so be it."
"Lucifer, sweetheart-"
He sucks in a rattled breath. You can’t speak to him like that, not when he’s at his lowest. He doesn’t need your saccharine tone because he’s better than this, better than comfort or mistakes. Yet here you are, on the floor at midnight, speaking with such kindness and understanding. It’s because you’re an exception to his inner monologue of rules that his brain finally quiets like an oil lamp snuffed out.
"Is that what you want?"
"Of course not, but-"
"I know you’re willing to play the villain if it’ll keep them safe. I mean, you've done it before, for entirely too long. But remember what happened when you were honest? Things got better. Belphie came around and I finally understood you."
He scoffs. "It was a catastrophic failure - any good that came of it was all your doing-"
“Don’t I?”
"We've all come a long way together. It doesn't have to be this way. I truly believe it doesn't, things have already changed.” You plead with him. “Habits are hard to break. I know that Belphie was hurting when he said that, but you don't deserve to hurt like this either, Lucifer." He can't look you in the eye. "Hey," you continue gently, softly, "you don't, truly."
“No. They don’t and you don’t.”
He looks up at the ceiling again.
"I'm here because you don’t have to handle it alone." You murmur. “Because I care about you.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“Too late.” You lean over him and place a gentle kiss on his cheek.
He swallows, blinking rapidly, and gathers you in his arms to place a fierce kiss to your temple. He wraps himself around you, all at once too separate from everything you are. The noise quiets when you move to hold him instead. Your arms wrap around him, and after everything he’s done to you, he doesn’t deserve you in his life like this, in love with what little good remains in him. But, he supposes, his pride as a demon will make space for you, and for that he is grateful.
"Thank you," he croaks, "for choosing to speak with me."
"That’s what I’m here for, dummy.”
“You’re meant for so much more than that.”
“I just think…” you kiss the crown of his head, “that I’m meant for whatever I want, and I want to figure this out with you.”
Lucifer closes his eyes in the quiet darkness of your arms. You are a gentle reprieve to whatever remains of his soul.
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If I Lost My Memory, What Would You Tell Me?
Based on that TikTok trend
Lucifer
"That would be troublesome. I refuse to picture a world where you aren't aware of how I feel about you. I suppose it can't be helped, I'd just have to remind you, and keep reminding you until it's burned into your very soul. Never forget how I adore you, MC."
Mammon
"I'd remind you of the 2k Grimm you owe me."
I don't owe you any Grimm...
"You wouldn't know that."
Leviathan
"I'd make you replay Final Phantasia XV, WITHOUT GETTING THE REVEAL SPOILED! IT'S SO IMPACTFUL AND YOU WERE ROBBED! STAY OFF DEVBLR THIS TIME!"
Satan
"I'd read you all of your favourite books, so you can relive them anew, reminding you of how much I love you after every chapter."
Asmodeus
"I'd remind you of how much you love me, of course ♡! Then, I'd remind you that you're a bad bitch, and that you have the hearts of the Devildom in the palm of your hand, including mine, obviously. You'd better not actually forget me, though ♡"
Beelzebub
"I'd teach you to cook your favourite meals. Mine too, but I'd love to watch you taste all your favourites for the first time. I like seeing you smile when you eat something tasty."
Belphegor
"I wouldn't say a thing. You could do with a fresh start."
#Obey Me#Obey Me Lucifer#Obey Me Mammon#Obey Me Leviathan#Obey Me Satan#Obey Me Asmodeus#Obey Me Beelzebub#Obey Me Belphegor#fun fact Levi's answer is based on true events lol#tumblr spoiled the Ardyn reveal for me :(#the bf was fuming lol
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1/3 Allie hiii! I'm so sorry this is probably very random, but i find myself replaying Merry Crisis and noticing how much one experience can change depending on your current life situation. The first time I played the game I was convinced that my MC would want to back to New York no matter what, but i replay I am also packing to move out of my parents' house this Saturday (a different city, but like only 1hr and half in public transport, what most of us travel everyday for work)
Ahh love the idea that each time you revisit merry crisis, your choices and responses to the story change a little based on where you're at in life and/or your experiences.
My literature teacher in high school told me once that she enjoys rereading her fave books every decade or so, just to see how her reactions to the book have changed with time, and this ask definitely reminds me of what she said.
Setting my calendar to remind you to replay merry crisis in a decade! (Just kidding, but yeah. This ask has stuck with me! ❤️)
Good luck with your move! :) hope you're settling into your new place happily!
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Choices review: The Freshman
Everyone talks highly of this series, so I thought I'd share my thoughts on it. Just gonna get this out of the way: This could've been GOC. There's no reason it couldn't be--though I will admit that this means Kaitlyn would either become playersexual (which some fans think would dilute her journey) or remove her as an LI entirely and just make her a platonic friend like Zac--though if MC is GOC, this could be tricky. You'd probably have to reduce their screentime if (depending on your gender) there was no reason you couldn't romance them. I don't wanna advocate for monosexuality for LIs in a romance game for obvious reasons. And since it's been a while since I played this, my review may change after replaying it or remembering certain details.
Book 1 focuses on the beginning of your journey at Hartfield University. I don't recall this book from start to finish, but it certainly had a lot of drama. For one, all three LIs are pushed your way, with Kaitlyn having a crush on you and realizing she's a lesbian, stereotypical sorority girls being possessive of jock Chris, and the studious James asks you to be his fiance for his parents. All this tied together with becoming an assistant to an English professor with a big ego just so you can keep going to college. Crazy, right? I do wish there was less pressure on the romance side. What if you had no interest in James? That'd make the lying to his parents even MORE uncomfortable, and while you and Kaitlyn work it out, I certainly wish she'd had a crush on someone else since it feels awkward if you don't feel the same. And I'm just gonna say I wish Zack had a more standout design; I know he's not a love interest, but he's one of the major characters, and yet he feels plain.
Book 2 focuses on your winter quarter at Hartfield and being a part of James' play, as well as helping Chris running for student president. Again, I do feel like forcing Kaitlyn our way with a kiss felt very awkward; if she didn't have feelings for us prior to this, it would've been fine, but it almost feels like we're leading her on or not letting her work out her sexuality. And Becca needs to go, especially since I was romancing Chris from the start, and her "not as bad as Sebastian" stuff really didn't absolve her to me--especially with her actions later on. And knowing what I know about how Sebastian's future goes, it's weird that the gang rallied around how Chris became a better person despite his criminal history in high school, but the theme of "redemption" doesn't translate too much.
Book 3 focuses on your spring quarter at Hartfield, when you meet a new LI, Kaitlyn joins a band, and dealing with classism at the school. While I like Zig, I'm not a fan of how he's essentially a repeat of Chris, having a criminal record prior to Hartfield, especially since this was covered with Chris in the previous book. I read somewhere that Sebastian made a stereotypical comment towards Zig due to his heritage, though I'd never heard the Latino-barista stereotype before; I thought him having a criminal record felt a bit more stereotypical, in that regard, along with his aggression. It would've been nice if he was written as a kid from a military family with a positive upbringing; his rough home life reminded me of the golden boy from MTFL, and it would've been nice if he was just sheepish and shy rather than confrontational--though I'm assuming the writers did that the contrast with the rest of the gang's easygoing vibe. I do feel weird about James' publicist coming onto him, and it feels like it should've been a bigger deal than it was.
Book 4 is a mini-book that focuses on the gang's summer vacation during a cross-country road trip. It kind of hurt my heart because of Brandon and Zack's relationship being broken for seemingly no reason. I get that the writers were trying to be a bit more realistic with relationships in this series, but I'd have preferred better buildup with the breakup rather than it being so random, or not break them up at all. It would've also been nice if Teddy was an actual LI for him; it was weird that it fizzled out but then we see Teddy again and ahve the option to ask why he didn't call Zack. I also think it's interesting how Zig reveals he's bisexual and it never comes up again--not that sexuality is a personality trait, but it would've been nice to see him talk more about his experience, not just the negative stereotypes he experienced, as well as the option to hook him up with someone similar to Kaitlyn and James. It's a really fun book, though--and it makes me want a Scooby-Doo-inspired Choices book ASAP.
Book 5 (Book 1 of "The Sophomore") sees you begin your sophomore year! After a less than savory living arrangement, you and your friends decide to take over a foreclosed house together, and you eventually invite Becca to live with you, and a little while later, you can date her. However, she hasn't been fully redeemed, as she tries to sabotage her so-called "best friend" since she replaced her as their sorority's new House President. It's really twisted, especially as Madison feels super guilty about it and just wants to be friends. It's pretty toxic, and I don't recall if this led to Madison giving up her position for Becca. I also feel like it's weird that James gets a love interest with Reyna when in one of the special books (which I don't cover), it's noted that he has someone who likes him. Why she isn't just made a love interest, I don't know. I did also feel bad for the pressures Chris faces being the captain of the football team. And honestly given the issue with Zig's criminal record being the hot topic a few books ago, I'm surprised his sexuality isn't mentioned to cause friction among the football team, like an exaggerated version of what happened with Manny. Granted, he was comfortable with his sexuality, and any issues regarding it would essentially feel similar to Kaitlyn's arc, but it's a thought. Btw, I love that the characters get new outfits in the Sophomore year.
Book 6 (Book 2 of "The Sophomore") has you trying to keep your house from being condemned after it's sabotaged. It was actually sabotaged by Sebastian, who tried to make amends at your house party, but only Tyler believes him. Rejected and with everyone assuming the worst of him, he sabotages the house and reports it to the house inspector, hoping you get a fine--only to be horrified that you get condemned instead. ...Really? Why are Becca and Sebastian so toxic even when they're trying to be better? Becca tries to ruin her best friend's reputation when she replaces her, and Sebastian is so lonely he's willing to get the people who rejected his friendship in trouble. But despite their spoiled and unhinged ways, I've gotta call out the hypocrisy here: the gang talks about Zig and Chris being more than their past mistakes, but they sure know how to hold a grudge against those who made recent mistakes--not that they can't do that, but it feels like they're going against their morals. Both Sebastian and Becca tried to screw over their friends, but Becca's the one who gets to stay with us and continue being high-maintenance? We may as well have moved Sebastian in too; I wanted more of him after this book (though the amount of headaches he and Becca could cause together is HIGH). Meanwhile, Tyler and Abby's relationship is fraying and part of me hoped Tyler would end up being bi and being with Sebastian (not that two men can't have platonic relationships with each other; I'm game with Sebastian ending up with MC, too), Chris' dad returning feels like it should've been a bigger arc, and a part of me wishes that Zig had been in dance the whole time, and I do wish we'd gotten more into the conversation about how sexual harassment/assault is common in the MLM community and that Manny definitely deserved worse punishment.
Book 7 (Book 1 of "The Junior") sees you getting an apartment with your LI and investigating a prank gone wrong. Your stay with your LI is pretty rough at first, and I feel like it could've been better-written to reflect the characters' personalities, though I respect the "break up/make up" option because of it. It would've been neat if your LI was annoyed by some of your choice- based decisions, as well. Entering a "fratority" with some dark secrets was fun, and it felt like it could've existed as it's own series rather than one book in a series. It definitely feel like it could've been more darker and mysterious than it ended up being. Though I will admit that despite not romancing him, I'm not huge on the "you can romance a twist villain" because when they're revealed to be bad, it makes your relationship feel like it's been for nothing. I do love that we can give the characters makeovers, though; it's nice to see them in new outfits and hairstyles.
Book 8 (Book 1 of "The Senior") has you figuring out your future ahead of graduation! I do wish we'd had a bit more legroom with what kind of writer we wanted to be and what profession we wanted to do in general. I also would've liked if we could've played as Kaitlyn and decided what kind of sound/visual her band's upcoming album would have. I don't have too many notes on this book, though I do hate how you have to go the sacrifice route; after you get a job offer, your LI is also successful with their career and is going to be in another part of the world; they essentially cut down your dreams, and it not only feels OOC, it feels almost manipulative. In the end, you have to decide if you want to go with them (and maybe find another job), make them give up their dream, or break up and you each follow your own paths. It's essentially a story with no clear winners, though I personally chose to go with them to pursue their dream.
Overall, I see why the series is iconic, and it's continuity over the app's growth really shows in it's quality, though I do wish we'd gotten more books for the junior and senior years, as well as fixing certain character issues and plot points. See you at my next review! Working on TRR right now, but let me know if there's a particular series you want reviewed! I've already done HSS, TRE, D&D, and AME. For now, I'm only making reviews for completed series, AKA 2 or more books (not counting holiday/special books) and the story is not currently in development (ie BOLAS, ID, COP).
#choices#choices stories you play#choices stories we play#choices app#choices game#pixelberry studios#pixelberry#the freshman series#playchoices
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🌰Chestnuts and Warm Milk🍂
My List of ~Favorites~ for Interactive Fiction and Visual Novels
(This is a work in progress so please bear with me)
Interactive Fiction:
The Wayhaven Chronicles (WIP Series in Development) - @seraphinitegames (Look,,, I’m just... obsessed.. I can’t stop thinking abt it,,, and I'm..... sometimes, I read and I think I feel like I know what love is.)
Mind Blind (WIP) - @mindblindbard (I just,, UGH it’s so good. I can't even say that much because my feelings about it are so potent that everytime I see an update I try to tell myself to leave it alone to play larger portions of updates as a treat and everytime my willpower FAILS and I replay the demo like twice in a row)
Demon: Recollect ; Forsaken (WIP) - both by @bathalafiction (whew...WHEW!!! Are you kidding me?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Look. I was attached to Demon: Recollect. I loved it. And then I played the Forsaken WIP and now I can't get over my absolutely BOMB character design for my player persona. Also it's kind of fun being considered a jerk in the game, because it opens up a lot of different options that I usually feel bad about taking)
Shadow Society - @carawenfiction (the concept is so interesting,, I dream of more. Also Quaiel...baby...)
The Soul Stone War - @intimidatingpuffinstudios (also whew!! I really enjoyed it and the characters all picture themselves really vividly in my mind for some reason.)
Greenwarden (WIP) - @fiddles-ifs (reading this is like thick fog.. but in a good way? I don't know how to describe it without pictures but this IF smells like fog over wet grass)
Divine Intervention (WIP) - @divineinterventiongame (the concept?? UGH SO GOOD. For some reason it's always the first game I click to check for updates)
Golden (WIP) - @milaswriting (😈😈😈😈)
Blood/line (WIP) - @bloodlineoffical (simply put,,, LARRY)
Supernatural in New York ; The Bastard of Camelot (both WIPs) - @llamagirl28 (UGH Both of these are so good in their own ways but equally as exciting to see updates for. I haven't consolidated my feelings much further than "my MC for SiNY is so cute" and "Mordred is a child" but they're all generally positive.)
Ace of Spades (WIP) - @steph-writing (I keep thinking about,,, con........)
Nevermoore (WIP) - @asteristories (AHHHHH.... let me say it again for those in the back: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
Son of Satan: The Mortal Coil (WIP) - @sosthemortalcoil (YES.)
Shepherds of Haven (WIP) - @shepherds-of-haven (yes. I just have to sigh because it's very good and I like saying those funny little words of power. But also outside of the game I can only picture this game as a great, grey border collie)
Attollo (WIP) - @attollo (Also a very interesting concept, whoo... I almost forgot how immersive it was untill I played the demo again and was reminded of how 'into it' I was straight off the bat. Also the seperate, short little piece on the blog with Sysba was also really good and I had a dream about it the other day)
Into the Shadows (WIP) - @wynnakang (whooo.... I'm sighing again, but louder. I press restart and play the demo again)
A Comedy of Manors (WIP) - @sviyaginthegreat (I kept replaying options that I hadn't chosen before because I wanted there to be more lmao)
Fallen Hero: Rebirth - @fallen-hero (I think there's a sequel coming up? I haven't stopped thinking about this storyline since I finished it omg... the.. the details are really good and I've become ridiculously attached to my tragic villain? Character... she IS the standard for my reusable IF persona, or at least one of my most prominent ones ;-D )
Samurai of Hyuga (WIP series) - (I'm pretty sure multiplechoicestudios.com is the development blog for this game, or at least what I've been checking for updates..... this is a series with four book currently out.... and I've been playing through book 4 at slower than a snail's pace in a desperate attempt to prolong my experience. I really didn't think I was going to like it as much as I did but I got a little too into it and now I'm horribly attached to all the characters)
The Porthecrawl Witness(WIP) - @porthecrawl-witness (I'm pretty sure this is a WIP?? But ugh. SCREEEEEE- it's so good. It's SO GOOD. I really want to punch Talbot in the face. And Asher, if for a different reason. And sort of Staci just to try. Quinn is just a cutie I could never hurt him like that. Ugh but they're all so good and I forgot that I was reading a WIP untill it suddenly was over..... I'mfeeling really aggressive rn as I'm writing this, so please just note that the punch comment is meant as a statement on how interesting the concept and immersiveness of the characters and story is)
Forgotten Names (WIP) - by Alexandra_Zorila on the CoG Forum (turn the volume up. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Look, look. It's..... delicious. It's SO interesting and I obsessively have a tab open on my computer to check for updates)
OFNA: Birds of a Feather (WIP) - @ofna (the vibes are so grey and smoky but the fog is definitely from a party smoke machine and the room is only dark because the walls are taped with those huge sheets of black construction paper that teachers use to cover their bulletin boards with... the game definitely falls in the 'dark and mysterious' genre but something just strikes me as really funny when I play it. Anyway it's good and it's in a lot if recommended lists for a reason. Also I'm very attached to my American Goldfinch)
More Things in Heaven and Earth (WIP) - @morethingsgame (in the same way that it's fun to play Guenevere in the Guenevere game or Mordred in The Bastard of Camelot, playing Ophelia in the sort-of Hamlet story is really fun. If anyone has read the Missing collection- which I absolutely love- by Margaret Peterson Haddix, this gives me similar vibes for some reason. Anyway, I really want to give Hamlet a hug and make him a flower crown or something)
A Tale of Crowns (WIP) - @ataleofcrowns (It's kind of not even funny how much I love this game... It's hard to even describe why I like it, just that it's so well rounded in terms of the story, characters, dialogue, and relationships. It's such an interesting plotline and it's pretty immersive. Also the first time I read the demo, there was an update as I was reading and the high that sent me on has very rarely been matched. Also Dara running to save my Crown in the tunnel?? 🤚😩🤭💓 ugh. UGH!! That's good food for my fool heart)
Scout: An Apocalypse Story (WIP)- @anya-dev (I'm usually not that into apocalypse themes/plots but I really enjoyed this game, and the plot was very good and intruiging... it really pulled me in and I like my character in the story a lot. I don't know why but it tastes like chikuwa, atsuage, and this specific type of carmelized onions that my mom makes sometimes)
Nothing left to burn (WIP)- @clowdee-works (......ouch. I *knew* what was going to happen and I STILL became attached to Drew)
Smoke and Velvet - @roast-ifs (It's good. And I am VEDY much into my character design. Also the story is really interesting, and I enjoy the setting a lot somehow)
Speaker (WIP)- @speakergame (very fun to play, and each update gets me more interested in the aspects of the plot. I also really like the little descriptions of what the characters think of the player)
The Nameless (WIP)- @parkerlyn (interesting plot, I like the characters a lot, and The aesthetics of this world are so interesting. Definitely had a good time visualizing what everything looked like)
Fields of Asphodel (WIP) - @asphodelgame (I think it's really cute so far!!! I like mythology in general, and the persephone/hades dynamic is *mwah!*... I like the way the story progresses in the beginning, and I think it works well in drawing the reader into the world. I also very much enjoy petting large dogs.)
...there are so much more.. and I have followed so many blogs.........
I'm not sure why I can't find it rn but there's this one WIP game that I really like where the MC buys a manor for like dollar and moves to go live there with her best friend and shenanigans ensue as they try to settle in and fix up the estate
Harbringer (WIP) - @harbringercog (....are you KIDDING me?? I was fully planning on just enjoying the demo and keeping a mental note to update the list sometime later,,, but this game... THIS GAME really made me fold. It's very immersive and regardless of how nervous the author claims to be after releasing the demo, it's of my humble opinion that those nerves can be calmed. It's very good. I was planning on procrastinating and reading a little bit and then going back to this essay I need to write, but somehow I got pulled in and ended up reading through the whole demo and it's apparent that I honestly had no chance of getting through this without becoming invested in the plot.... just... so good.. I'm very excited to see how this will progress)
Visual Novels:
Andromeda 6 (WIP) - @andromeda-six (I repeat: Obsessed, I come back every few months to see an update and I fall deeper into the hole every time...)
To the Edge of the Sky (WIP,, probably) - by Ajané (??) on Steam (I think, it’s been a while)
Next on my list to check out: Perfumare by pdrrook
Does.... does The Arcana game by Nix Hydra count as VN?? If so, then yes.
Similarly, the FictIF games are all entertaining, although Last Legacy and Heir to Love and Lies are my favorites rn (and.....unfinished....)
I also don't know if this counts, because I kind of consider Otome games to be their own genre, but on the Love 365: find your story by Voltage Inc. There are a bunch of fun stories, my favorite of which are: the Shinichi Kagari route on After School Affairs and the Saejima and Keiichiro routes on Bad Boys do it Better
..To be continued...
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Home: Where She Belongs
[Levi Schuler x Laura Day Masterlist]
Pairing: Levi Schuler x Laura Day [F!MC] with Lily (daughter)
Book: Mother of the Year (chapter 16)
Word Count: <1,600 (sorry it's a big long!)
Rating: General
Prompts: @choicesaugustchallenge relaxation; @choicesbookclub : MOTY Replay Chapter 16 ; @wackydrabbles #108 (prompt in bold)
A/N: As a whole MOTY is a solid book, but one thing that I hated was the fact that instead of going home with her daughter after winning the court case MC sneaks off with her LI for a 30 diamond scene. I love those scenes, but that wasn't the time.
Synopsis: Following the celebration with their friends over the court case win, Laura and Lily head home for a private celebration, knowing they had won and no one would keep them apart. [Fluff with some comfort/care]
Bliss. Laura thought after some consideration. That's what this is—bliss.
Her body fluttered with a pleasant warmth that enveloped her in its comfort and relaxation. She breathed easily for the first time in weeks, the weight of the world no longer on her shoulders. She could simply enjoy the moment without worry of tomorrow.
She knew better than to expect the future to be sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, but for the moment, this was enough—actually, it was more than enough—it was perfect. The outcome might not have been everything she wanted, but it was better than what she feared. Lily was hers, and she always would be.
The voices of her friends surrounded her. They had all been eager to join in for a celebratory dinner. She had never needed to ask them to be there; they just were. She wondered how she and Lily would have survived in Goldcliffe without them; thankfully, they'd never need to figure it out.
Laura leaned forward, resting her chin on the back of her hand as she watched Levi play a game with Lily and Luz across the table. Their laughter was a melody in the night air, one that filled her heart with joy. Her eyes glistened in the dimming light. She wondered if the smile etched on her face would ever fade.
Lily's mouth opened, a silent yawn slipping out between excited explanations of her science fair project and how her newly rebuilt rocket was better than the previous one.
"It's late," Laura finally said, interrupting their game. "You've had a big day, my Stargirl. We both have. How about we head home?" Home—Laura couldn't help but smile at the word. Lily was going home with her, where she belonged.
"Okay," Lily agreed, without any complaining, knowing they had already planned their own little private celebration.
Laura said her goodbyes, thanking her friends once more for all they had done. Lily made her rounds, giving hugs and reminding everyone of the upcoming science fair.
"Thank you," Laura whispered as Levi drew her into his arms, holding her safely. "I couldn't have survived this without you."
"As much as my ego thanks you for that, you're the strongest person I know. You can survive anything." He brushed a kiss on her forehead as he leaned back, his attention turning to Lily. He pulled her into a bear hug that lifted her off the ground, causing her to giggle into his shoulder. "Goodnight, Rocket. I'm glad we'll still get to be neighbors. I'd hate to lose my partner in crime."
"I'm glad I get to stay too!" Lily beamed. "Do you want to come have celebration hot chocolate with us?"
"Celebration hot chocolate?" Levi set her back on the ground and bent down to her level. "I don't want to mess up whatever you and your mom have planned. You two have fun."
"But, there's extra marshmallows!!!" Her eyes widened, pleading with him.
"Extra marshmallows, huh?"
Lily nodded enthusiastically. "And whipped cream. And cinnamon! And chocolate syrup!"
"Wow. That is tempting." His gaze shifted to Laura, who was attempting to hide her smile behind her hands. "Are you sure?"
"Yes! You have to come!" She insisted, slipping her hand into his. "Right, mom?"
"I think she's right. I mean, how can you argue against celebration hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, AND cinnamon?" Laura shrugged in defeat as if though there were no other options than to accept.
"Then, there's nowhere else I'd rather be," Levi decided.
It didn't take long for the water to heat once they returned home. They worked together, moving through the kitchen as if it had always been like this—the three of them. Levi got the mugs ready with the powdered chocolate mix. Laura carefully poured water into each, leaving plenty of room for Lily to add all the toppings.
Marshmallows rained down over the three cups as she scooped large handfuls onto each mug. Lily grinned excitedly as she tipped the can of whipped cream, creating white, fluffy mountains, with one peak noticeably higher than the others.
"Do you think you need that much sugar before bed?" Laura questioned with a raise of her brow.
Lily's eyes widened, and she nodded enthusiastically. "It's a celebration!"
"Just this once!" Laura kissed the top of her daughter's head, her fingers trailing through her silky, black hair. Every day had always been a treasure with Lily, but now more so than ever. She would never take a second of their time together for granted.
Lily sprinkled cinnamon on hers and her mom's cups. "Do you want some, Levi?"
"Hmm‚" he pondered. He dipped his fingers through her cinnamon-dusted, whipped cream ridge, sampling it. "Mmm, that is good!"
"Hey!" Lily pouted. "No fair."
Levi laughed, a playful smirk pulling at his lips. He scooped up some of the fluffy topping off of his cup and dotted it on her nose. "Better?"
Lily's mouth fell open in surprise. Her hand was on the can of whipped cream again. The nozzle pointing at Levi, her finger hovering dangerously on the trigger, ready to set it off with the slightest change in pressure.
Their gaze narrowed at one another, the corners of their lips pulling up as silence fell in the kitchen.
"If it's war you want—" Lily began, breaking the quiet. "Then you shall have it."
Levi grabbed the plastic container of chocolate syrup, holding it up. "Two can play at that game, Rocket."
Lily stood in her chair, keeping her finger carefully on the nozzle. "I have the high ground."
Before he could respond, Laura stepped in, snatching both containers from them.
"Mom!"
"Laura," Levi moaned, matching Lily's tone but adding a teasing wink.
"You two are trouble!"
"Only the best kind of trouble, right?" Levi took his mug and lifted it up. "What do you say, rocket—partners in crime still?"
Lily lifted her mug, clinking it against his. "Space partners in crime," she added.
"How could I forget?" He took a sip of his cocoa as Lily did the same. Both of them ended up with whipped cream on their noses.
Laura sighed happily, watching the two most important people in her world laugh effortlessly together.
After about an hour of Lily vibrating from her sugar high and rattling off the names of all the stars in the night sky above them, she finally crashed on the couch. Her eyes were closed, but her mouth still attempted to finish the list.
"I think it's time for bed, my little astronomer." Laura helped her sleepy daughter to her room to get ready for bed. She tucked her carefully under the covers, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Good night, my beautiful girl. I love you to Andromeda and back."
She paused at the door, taking another look back. A part of her worried she'd never have this moment again. The sight of Lily safely asleep in her bed, the glow-in-the-dark stars above her keeping watch as her daughter dreamt dreams bigger than she could ever imagine.
When she returned, she found Levi where she left him on the couch. She curled into his arms.
He brushed her hair back, kissing the crown of her head. "What do you need? What can I do for you? Lily wasn't the only one with a big day."
"This," she whispered, closing her eyes as she breathed in his scent. "Just hold me."
"Done." He hugged her closer, wrapping her in his warmth. His fingers caressed her back, massaging her tenderly. "I won't let go. I love you, Laura—you 'n Lily, more than I could've thought possible."
Her body trembled, and she let out a sharp cry. The tears she had pushed down all day erupted at the sound of his confession.
"Shh, it's okay. I've got you."
She buried her face in his chest, hoping to quell the tears that kept coming, not wanting to wake Lily.
"It's okay. You did good. Lily is safe. You're safe. It's going to be okay." He continued whispering tender encouragement in her ear as he kept her close, allowing the weeks of frustration and heartbreak to pour out.
Slowly, her breathing steadied, and her sobs subsided.
"That's it. You need sleep. Come on." He lifted her into his arms, much to her surprise. His brow arched as he caught her eye. "What? I said I wouldn't let go."
She nuzzled back into his neck. "Thank you...for everything."
"Shh, just rest." He carried her to her room at the end of the short hall, placing her down on the edge of the bed. He ran his thumb over her cheek, wiping away the last of her tears.
Her eyes were red and swollen. "Stay?"
"Are you sure?"
She stood to meet him, wobbling a little, not realizing how tired she was, but he was there to support her. She cupped his face. "I've never been more sure. I love you, Levi."
He kissed her softly. "Okay. Who am I to disagree with what the lady wants."
"Good. I'm not ready for you to let go yet." Laura slipped out of her clothes, grabbing a baggy t-shirt to put on.
"Great band!" Levi noted as he took off his pants and shirt and slid into bed. "I have the same shirt at home."
"No, you don't—" Laura climbed in, nestling into him once more. "—because this one's yours."
He breathed out a laugh as he rested his head on hers. He held her close, humming softly until she finally fell asleep in his arms.
Thank you for reading! I appreciate your support. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always amazing and make my day!
I hope you enjoyed this story. (Don't worry, Laura and Levi will still get their 30 diamond scene... that night just didn't feel appropriate for it).
Tags in a reblog, please let me know if you want to be added or removed!
#levi schuler#levi schuler x mc#levi schuler + daughter#mother of the year#moty#fan fiction#levi x laura#levi + lily#laura + lily#moty book club#levi choices#playchoices#choices#tara day#zoey day
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Delaying the Inevitable - Chapter 17: With a Little Help From My Friends
Book: Open Heart 3 (Post Series)
Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC Tobias Carrick x F!MC
Rating: Chapter: Teen
Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter: Tobias struggles with his feelings before confronting Ethan; Casey returns to work and gets a surprise; Tobias shares a “break-up night” with Casey; the friends plan a trip to a pumpkin patch, but things don’t go as planned; Casey has another encounter with Ethan at Donahue’s.
Category: Extended Series (WIP)
Warnings: Angst, drinking, language
CHECK OUT ALL THE A/N's SERIOUSLY :) I need to calm some nerves out there.
A/N: Hi everyone! I hope you are all well! Some perspective on this series. It’s a love triangle folks. There are three in the mix. When the series started, it was heavy Casey/Ethan for a long time and some were asking, where is the triangle? I had to tell them… it’s coming. Now, some are asking why isn’t she back with Ethan? Why is Ethan being a jerk? It’s a long story. We’re just a little more than halfway through and there is much to happen yet. At the end, Casey has to make a choice, so clearly, Casey and Ethan’s story is not over, nor is Casey & Tobias’s. So, sit back, relax and enjoy the show. 😊
A/N 2: Some Ethan fans don’t want to read until he is back in the mix. Hey, I can’t make you, but then you’ll miss a lot and, even if you come back later, it won’t feel the same. I’ve said from the start, this story will delve deeper. It’s going to show humanity, all three main players are human and will make mistakes – yet they are all really good people. No demons here, just flawed people like you and me. Just a reminder!
A/N 3: There is some really cool stuff coming up. Really cool in good ways, and some in dramatic ways. Personally, I’m excited for Chapter 18. Watch for the Sunday Six for a sneak peek.
AN/4: I’m not apologizing for long chapters anymore because y’all seem OK with it. I don’t know what that says, but I appreciate it. (And I've decided to apologize anyway!) 😊 Please continue to send me your comments and feedback – it’s always appreciated, and I want to make sure you get the best story I can give you. As always, thanks for reading – you’re the best!
Timeframe of this chapter: Early to Mid-October
SERIES MASTERLIST
CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS
If you wish to be added or removed from tags, please let me know. Comments and reblogs always appreciated. 😊
Tobias rolled over for what felt like the hundredth. Snippets of the evening continued to replay in his head, no matter how hard he tried to stop them. Casey standing in front of Donahue’s wearing his Johns Hopkins shirt. He didn’t pick it out. She did. But that’s probably just because it’s from his med school days. It was smaller, it’s probably what fit her best. Yeah, that’s all it was. But the way she looked up at him outside of Donahue’s… she looked… she looked like she was scared to go in and needed help… you idiot…. But there was no mistaking the look on her face when she returned from the jukebox…none…. He was uncomfortable the moment Laura sat down in the seat Casey left just moments before, and that was before he saw Casey’s eyes widen incredulously when she spotted her. Wait, that look on her face, is it… jealousy? That’s impossible… right? It can’t be. But her mood changed the minute she sat back down. Of course, it did. Ethan was there. That’s why. He’s being ridiculous. Or is he. I mean, she knew Ethan was there before, and she was still laughing and joking. But Laura shows up and suddenly, she…. go to sleep Tobias! Stop seeing shit that isn’t there…stop the crazy. He rolled over. Then he heard Laura’s voice:
“…give her some time to heal. Don’t rush it, but I see how you two look at each other. I think you totally have a chance.”
I mean, Laura doesn’t even know Casey, she barely knew him, but… she saw something? But, God, the way Casey looked as she sat crying on the ground after confronting Ethan… goddamn it, Carrick… it’s not about you. But why did she jump up from Sienna and walked into his arms as soon as he stepped outside? He didn’t make that up. She did go to him… he didn’t ask her to. But she was crying over Ethan. But what just happened in the kitchen? Why did she take his hand? Because they’re friends…. they’ve done that sort of thing countless times before, that’s why. I mean, friends do that sort of thing all the time, right?
“A toast?”
“Sure, and what are we toasting to?”
“To just letting things happen when they should.”
He sat up in bed.
Why did she say that? What did that mean?
Tobias knew he loved Casey; this was not news. He also knew there was never a chance in hell of anything happening between them. It sucked badly, but he accepted it long ago. Even after he found Casey devastated on the street. Even now that it is over between her and Ethan… he still never thought… that’s crazy, right. This could never happen… right?
He was pacing the floor in his bedroom, rubbing his hands across his head in frustration.
No. No. This is crazy.
Nothing is happening with her, Tobias.
Don’t let yourself go there. Stay in this lane.
He realized sleep was not happening. Ugh, what had gotten into his head? How did this even happen?
It was Laura! Why did she have to say that to me? Why? I could scream at her! Or, should I thank her?
Then his thoughts turned to Ethan. He could see him, sitting morosely at the bar, a half drank glass of scotch in his hand. That’s pretty much how Ethan looked every time Tobias had seen him over the past decade. Every time except for the brief period when he accepted Casey’s love. That Ethan, he even surpassed the reserved but exuberant man he med at med school orientation 15 years ago. He let out a deep sigh.
What the fuck are you doing Ramsey? What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you let her go?
He had wanted to talk to Ethan the night he found Casey crying. Someone needed to talk sense into him. But Casey didn’t want Ethan to know that Tobias was aware of their breakup. So, he refrained. Whatever she wants. His loyalty is to her. It would always be to her. But she confronted Ethan tonight at the bar. In plain sight of everyone. God, that’s going to spread. But the cat was out of the bag now. Nothing was preventing him from speaking to his old friend now. He looked at his clock. 12:02 AM. It might be too late for mere mortals, but not for doctors of their caliber. Sleep was a luxury they often learned to do without. Plus, if he knew Ethan, he was probably wide awake, nursing another scotch. He grabbed his phone:
Tobias dressed quickly before scribbling a note to Casey just in case she woke up while he was gone. He headed to Ethan’s with a newfound urgency. There had been so much he wanted to say to Ethan, and he couldn’t hold it back any longer.
Twenty minutes later, Ethan answered a knock on his door.
“Tobias.”
“Ethan.” Silence hung. “Are you going to let me in?”
“Oh, yes,” Ethan said, pushing the door open, “of course, come in.”
Tobias eyed the neat pile of boxes stacked next to the door. Boxes containing the contents of Casey’s life sitting in wait. Why was he here? Even two years ago, Tobias would be sound asleep in his bed waiting to hear the eruption when Ethan wholly imploded. Then he would run to catch Casey when she fell. He would have made sure she became his. He loved that woman in a way he never knew he could love. So why shouldn’t he? Why was he standing here, in front of her belongings that Ethan was eager to toss out of his door? The same way he did her. What the hell was wrong with him?
“Tobias? I assume you came for a reason?”
Yeah. He was here because he loved her, and her needs had to take precedence above his own. He loved Ethan too, and he knew he wasn’t thinking logically. He had to set him straight, or at least try. He couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t. Yeah, it might result in watching Casey fall right back into Ethan’s arms; but, if that’s where she belonged, if that’s where she’d be happy, then that’s where he wanted her to be.
“Tobias?” Ethan said again, “Are you the friend picking up Casey’s belongings? I assumed it would be one of the roommates, and I didn’t think it would be at this hour of the day, but then again, you know what happens when you assume.”
Tobias pulled himself out of his fog and turned his eyes to Ethan.
“Uh, no. I’m not sure who is picking these up. I’m sure someone will contact you.”
“Well, it is an odd hour for a social visit? But can I get you something to drink?”
“No. No, I’m good. I just… Ethan, I needed to talk to you and I couldn’t wait. Buddy, I’ve known you for a long time, I’ve seen you at your best, at your worst and everyplace in between and….” he stalled. “I can’t just sit by and watch you throw your life away.”
Ethan eyed him dubiously.
“Throwing my life away? I assume you’re referring to Casey. While I appreciate your concern, ending a relationship, painful as it is, doesn’t equate to throwing my life away.”
“Maybe not every relationship, but in this case, yeah, it does. Come on, look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love her. Tell me she isn’t the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Ethan silently eyed Tobias but did not make a sound.
“I’m not Casey, so I can’t say definitively, but I think you could still save this,” he sighed. “She gets… we all get why this is happening. Ethan, Louise destroyed 25 years of your life, come on, don’t let her steal another minute from you. YOU are in control! Don’t let her hurt you anymore, and don’t let her make Casey collateral damage. Talk to her, Ethan. Apologize. See a therapist… do it together, or alone… I don’t know. Case, she’s the most forgiving person I ever met. If you talk to her now, I know she’d at least listen….”
“Tobias, stop. Stop. Look, it truly means a lot to me that you cared enough to come by in the middle of the night. But Casey and I, that’s between the two of us. You’re not a party to it.”
“I know that. But I also know you. You’re going to regret this and, by then, it may be too late. What kind of friend would I be if I just watched and said nothing?”
“The kind that minds his own business?”
“No, it would make me the kind that didn’t give a shit about you.”
“Tobias, I ended things for a reason. It is best for both of us.”
“Ethan, that’s bullshit. Come on, I know you don’t want to hurt her.”
“No, of course, I don’t. But breakups hurt… there is no getting around it. But in time, she’ll heal, and she’ll have the life… the relationship… she deserves. We wouldn’t work, and the longer I let her buy into the fantasy we created, the more it would hurt her. Can’t you see that?”
“Ethan, would you listen to yourself? This is crazy talk. The only thing stopping you from having forever with her is you. What you guys shared, do you think everyone is lucky enough to find it?”
“Shared, Tobias. Past tense. What Casey and I had… it’s over. It was all a big mistake….”
Tobias saw red. He knew he needed to contain his anger, as much as he could anyway.
“A mistake? A mis… Ethan, don’t you dare call Casey a fucking mistake!”
“She wasn’t, but our relationship….” He stood up and walked toward the window rubbing his hands through his hair. His defenses, and his temper, rising by the second. “Tobias, I’m done talking about this. I’m nearly 40 years old. I know what I want. I was more content before.”
“Save that for someone who will buy it, because I don’t”
“You don’t have to, and you don’t have to agree with it, and I don’t have to convince you. It’s my life. It’s my decision.” He let out a deep sigh. “Tobias, it’s late, and if that’s all you wanted to say, then you said it. Go back home and get some sleep. There is no reason to be here.”
“Oh, there is reason to be here. I’m here because someone has to be! You’re doing such a bang-up pushing everyone who has ever given a shit about you so far away that they’re afraid to approach you. And, hey, if that’s your end goal, then more power to you! You’re freaking winning! But what are you winning? I’m here, as your friend, in a last-ditch effort to prevent you from being your own worst enemy. I’m throwing you a lifeline, I’m begging you to take it, but if you refuse.... well, then that's on you.”
Ethan turned around, rubbing his temples. “Tobias, if I need a lifeline, I will ask for one. But do I look like I’m drowning to you?”
“Do you really want my honest answer?”
“What I want you to do is to go home. It’s late and we have a busy morning ahead.”
Tobias shook his head.
“I’m not here because I enjoy making 1:00 AM house calls. I’m trying to prevent you from making the biggest mistake of your life.”
“Want to be my friend? Then, please, respect me. For god’s sake, trust that I know what’s best for me and respect me.”
Tobias swallowed, “See, that’s the thing, Ethan. Being a friend doesn’t mean blindly agreeing with someone; it means telling them when they’re wrong. I may not be able to get through to you, but I had to try. But you’re right, it’s your life, and the choices are all yours. I’ll show myself out.”
____________________
Much later that day, Tobias returned home from an uneventful day at work. Ethan never mentioned his visit and, while he was relieved there was no tension, he was disheartened to see his words had no impact. Nevertheless, he was grateful for the quiet day. Casey was returning to work tomorrow, and she and Ethan would be working together two days after. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t concerned about how it would go, so the stress-free day was appreciated.
As he checked his mail in the kitchen, he heard music and giggling coming from down the hall. He chuckled to himself. Tobias had lived alone, by choice, almost the entirety of his adult life. So even though he was aware Casey was there, the noise took him by surprise. Things like this would take some getting used to, but she smiled because it felt good. He walked down the hall and knocked on her bedroom door.
“It’s open!”
“Hey, Case. Hi, Sienna. I don’t want to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know I was home.”
“Hi, T! You’re not interrupting!” Sienna said.
“Yeah. Si is just helping me unpack, you know, what I neglected to help her do, but she’s still nice enough to do for me.”
“Casey, please, you had reasons. It’s not like you were enjoying a spa day while I was moving!”
“I assume everything went well today, then?” Tobias asked Sienna.
“Yep, Raf and I were in and out in 20 minutes. When Jackie found out Ethan wasn’t going to be there, the mission sort of lost its appeal. It’s just as well. It saved me the trouble of stopping her from setting booby traps.”
“Always a good thing. Is Raf still here?”
“No, he is on shift tonight, so he headed out.”
“Alright, so, where I come from, a move-in day always requires pizza and beer. So, are you ladies good with me ordering some in?”
“Oh, I’ll never say no to pizza!” Casey answered.
“Good, because if you did, I would never be able to trust you again,” he laughed. “Sienna, you in?”
“Well, after that comment, I’d be extra foolish to say no!”
“OK, I’ll give you guys some time, unless you need help?”
“All under control,” Casey smiled.
“All right, I’ll let you know when the food arrives.”
“That’s awfully nice of him,” Sienna said quietly.
“Yeah, well, Tobias is pretty nice.”
“You know, I knew you two have become close, but he’s really stepped up to help you.”
“Yeah, I’m really lucky. I have a great support network and, he’s a big part of that.”
“I’m glad. And…you’re comfortable here, right? I mean, I hate that you can’t stay with us… the timing is just… ugh! If I weren’t mad enough at Ethan….” Sienna's face turned red.
“I know,” Casey said, touching her friend’s hand. “Trust me, I know.”
“I’m proud of you, Casey. I can’t imagine how hard this all is and, you’re really holding it together.”
Casey smiled sadly. “Well, it’s still a roller coaster. I have my moments. And I’m terrified of going back to work. Seeing him is,” she swallowed, “it’s going to be hard, Sienna. I know we’ll both be professionals, but, honestly, I have to see how this goes….”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I thought he was the love of my life. Maybe he is the love of my life but… but he doesn’t want me… and….”
Sienna could see Casey unraveling.
“We don’t have to discuss it if you don’t want, Casey.”
“No, it’s fine. I have to deal with it, right? People thought that the two of us being in a relationship would make working together difficult, but it never was. Now this, on the other hand? Not to mention, this news will be all over the hospital, I am going to look like such an idiot.”
“Don’t say that Casey, you’re not an idiot!”
“Well, yes, best friend, you won’t think so, but… honestly, I guess what others think has to be the least of my concerns right now.”
“That’s right. Plus, you have an army of defenders. Let someone say that crap in front of me, or Jackie, or Bryce, or Tobias… we can all be pit bulls, you know!”
“Oh, I have seen each of you in action. And you know I’d be the same way for you.”
She gave Sienna a big hug when Tobias knocked.
“Pizza is served, ladies! Want to sit on the balcony or in the kitchen?”
“Is that even a question?” Sienna laughed, rushing out the door.
_______________
The following day arrived far too quickly for Casey’s liking. It felt good to be in her scrubs and her white coat again. She missed work and wanted to keep her mind occupied, but her stress levels were off the charts. Even knowing she had two days to acclimate before Ethan would be there didn’t help. Every single one of her friends offered to meet her that morning so that they could enter the hospital together, but Casey, feeling that would indicate weakness, declined. Still, knowing she had so much support made her feel much stronger.
She stood at the hospital’s entrance; she was fine. Now the lobby, no issues. The elevator, OK, she had this. On the floor, OK, had this may have been an overstatement. Walking into the diagnostics office… BAM!
“Casey, how are you feeling? It’s good to have you back.”
“Thanks, Harper.”
Harper dismissed Casey’s pale skin and glossy eyes, assuming they resulted from a lingering malady, but Tobias saw the blood drain from her face the moment she entered the room.
He started to make her coffee when she text him to say she was in the lobby. He strode and placed the cup in her hand.
“Welcome back, kid.” With his back to Harper, he smiled down and mouthed, “You’ve got this.”
Casey smiled back, hoping he was right.
“Since it’s just the three of us today,” he said, “we may as well get started. I think the most important item is getting Casey up to speed. Harper, do you have any cases you need to update her on?”
“No, the diagnostic cases are already noted in our folders, and I’ve been paired with Ethan on all others. Casey, this guy here was kind enough to take on all your assignments while you were out. Of course, that means you’re saddled with him until you catch up.”
Casey looked at Tobias, “You picked up all my cases?”
“It’s no big deal. I had the most capacity. But Harper is right. Now you’re stuck with me for a good portion of the day today, and maybe tomorrow.”
“I think I can survive that,” she grinned.
“Well, we have new diagnostic assignments, so, as long as you have no questions, this may be the shortest meeting in history.”
“I think we’re good. I appreciate the brevity. I have two surgeries today so, I’m not complaining. It’s good to see you back, Casey.”
“Thanks, Harper.”
Casey looked at Tobias. “T. I’m familiar with the caseloads. You do not have the most capacity; in fact, right now, Ethan does. Why did you do that?”
“Because you know all this extra time we’re going to be spending together? If I hadn’t, you’d be spending it with Ethan, I didn’t think you’d want that right now.”
“True, but that was so much for you to take on.”
“Case,” he smiled, “it's nothing. Why don’t you go start your new cases, we can regroup around noon and work together?”
“That sounds good.”
Tobias was heading out of the door when Bryce stopped him.
“What’s up, Bud.”
“Just a head’s up, T. Word’s out. I walked in and heard one of the new surgical interns getting all worked up over Casey being back on the market.”
“Aw shit… how do you think… Donahue’s.”
“Yep,” Bryce said, “I was proud of her for having the courage to confront him, but man, I’m sure the news hit the floor here before we got home last night.”
“You said it. Oh, and this intern, did you tell them to fuck off?”
“I thought that was assumed.”
“Of course. I don’t know why I doubted you.”
“Anyway, I want to give Case a heads up. She shouldn’t be blindsided. Do you know where she is?”
“She’s on the floor, shouldn’t be far.”
“Alright, I’ll find her.”
Bryce trotted off and quickly spotted her in a patient's room. He waited for her outside.
“Hey there,” he said, flashing that killer grin.
“Ah, Bryce, that smile can always brighten my day.”
“Good, because you might need it.”
She looked up with heavy eyes, bracing herself for what she knew he was about to say.
“Words out?” she asked.
“Words out. I didn’t want you to hear it from some snide asshole.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, sometimes you are a snide asshole, Bryce,” she smiled.
“I like that answer! I have never been so happy to be called an asshole! Good attitude!”
“Well, it’s my own fault. I was idiotic going up to him at Donahue’s.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve got this, and if anyone gives you shit, page me.”
Fortunately, those who encountered her that morning either didn’t know or didn’t let her know that they did. She was able to get through her patients with ease before heading off to meet Tobias. He looked up from the papers he was working on at the nurse’s station, his eyes told her that he was concerned.
“Don’t worry, no one has given me any shit. Yet.”
“You doing, OK?”
“I will be. My new motto?”
“You made it through the morning, you’re still standing, and you’re smiling. So, in my book, you’re already doing damn good. Hey, want to grab lunch together in the cafeteria before we begin? I can start getting you up to speed there.”
“Sure, let’s go!”
Casey managed to enjoy some laughs while reviewing cases with Tobias. She didn’t notice several staff members pointing and whispering in her direction, but he did. His desire to get up and throttle them was tempered only by his greater need to protect Casey. They were about to head to their first patient when he got a page.
“Ah, crap!”
“What is it?”
“I have to head to the lab. There is an issue with authorization on one of my requests. Do you want to hang back here and finish your lunch? I should be back in about 15 minutes.”
“Sure, take your time.”
Casey pulled some files to review. She was proud of herself, she felt much more at ease than she expected to. But that was about to change. Several moments later, she was distracted by laughter coming from the other side of the cafeteria. When she looked over in that direction, she felt her heart stop. Ethan glided in through the double doors, headed in her direction. Casey couldn’t breathe when her eyes met his.
“It’s good to see you back, Dr. MacTavish,” he said as he walked by, “I’ll text you my availability today. There are things I need to catch you up on.”
Casey couldn’t speak, so she offered a gentle nod. He was aloof. The purely professional tone, the way he just breezed by her, was so out of character from the way they used to interact, and it did not go unnoticed. Several residents seated nearby began to whisper amongst themselves until Casey caught glared in their direction.
What the hell is he doing here! He had to know how hard this would be on me! How could he blindside me like that!
She got up to leave, not wanting to be the star of this show taking place any longer. She text Tobias and let him know she’d have to meet him a bit later. Shortly thereafter, she received a text from Ethan asking her to meet him in his office at 3:00. Her stomach dropped. She took the contact photo of him. They were having a picnic together in the Boston Common. The gentle smile on his face took her back to another time. She never removed the little hearts next to his name. She thought back to when her beloved grandfather died, and she eventually removed his number from her phone. It was such a painful experience and changing Ethan’s contact information didn’t feel any different. Still, she wanted to take care of it immediately. “Ethan 🥰❤️” became “Dr. Ramsey” and the precious photo she had taken became… she settled on an Edenbrook logo. Choking back tears she reminded herself, this was her new reality and she would need to get used to it.
As 3:00 neared, Casey began to come undone. She could do her job. She was even capable of smiling at her patients, but anyone who knew could see it was forced. As she accompanied Tobias on their mutual rounds, he became more and more concerned about her.
“Hey, are you sure you can do this? I mean, he wasn’t even supposed to be here today. If you need more time, I’m sure this could wait.”
“No,” she said, looking miserable, “I may as well bite the bullet and get it over with. I’m going to head up.”
She bit her lip and looked nervously to the side.
“Tonight. At home. Can we drink?”
“Absolutely. Will you require ice cream as well?”
“Vanilla fudge ripple?”
“I’ll stop on the way home. Let me know how it goes.”
____________________
Casey went to the office early. She wanted to get there first so she could be waiting when he arrived. She did not want to walk in with him at the desk, watching her approach. But as she turned to enter, he was already there. She entered quietly. So quietly that he didn’t hear her until she was seated in front of him. He was taken aback. Gone was the cold, indifferent gaze from before. His eyes looked sad, he swallowed deeply. But Casey did not see any of it. She turned her head, staring off to the side, doing all that she could to avoid looking at him for as long as possible.
“Casey,” he said, nervously, his voice almost broke.
She remained silent and he acknowledged the pain written on her face. He could see how hard this was on her, and he hated himself for it.
“Casey, thanks for coming. I know… I know I have no right to ask in a personal capacity, but in a professional, I have to ask you. Are you OK?”
She remained silent for what felt like an eternity. She refused to speak until she could do so with the confidence that she would not cry and that her voice would not shake. She was going to take as much time as necessary until she got there. He owed her at least that much.
“I have to be,” she said clearly, “my patients need me to be.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“I’m doing the best that I can. But to be honest, at this moment, I feel like I’m going to die. I hate this, but I guess we have to figure out how to do this. Neither of us is going anywhere, at least for now.”
He had planned to take a hardline approach, ultra-professional, bordering on cold, but seeing her in so much pain, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He felt his defenses melt a little. He had already done so much damage. He couldn’t hurt her anymore.
“I wish there was a way that I could ease this for you, Casey. For both of us. I want to do whatever I can to make things as comfortable as can be.”
“Well, do you have any suggestions? Because I sure as hell don’t.”
“Actually, I do. In time, I’m sure it will get easier but, until then, I figure I can limit our cases together. I’ll pair with Harper, and I’ll pair you with Tobias whenever possible. I know you’re comfortable with him and, honestly, I know he cares about you. I know he’ll look out for you.”
“Et..” she couldn’t bring herself to say his name. “I really don’t need to be looked out for. I’m a grown-up. Also, that’s not feasible, we’re going to have to work together. Like it or not.”
“I know,” he said softly, “but it’s not forever. Just for now.”
Casey felt tears rising to her eyes, and she knew that she was helpless to stop them from falling. She grabbed a tissue from her pocket and dabbed them. At a minimum, she was not letting him watch them roll down her face.
“Is this even hard on you, Ethan? Does it even hurt to see me? Even a little bit? Because… right now… I feel like it doesn’t, and, frankly, that makes me feel like I never meant a thing to you. And I know in my heart that’s not true.”
“Casey, of course, this is hard,” his voice was almost a whisper. For the first time, she could hear a trace of pain in his voice.
“But it’s like you said last night. It’s not alright now, but it will be. We will be.”
“We,” she laughed ruefully, “there isn’t a we anymore. You saw to that.”
“Casey, I don’t want to overstep, but is there anything I can do for you? Outside of work, I mean. Do you need anything?”
“No. I don’t need or want your help. When you let me go, you lost the right to be my protector.”
“You’re staying….”
“How many times do I have to tell you that it is none of your business?”
“But you’re someplace safe?”
“Yes, safe and comfortable.”
“Casey, I don’t want us to hate each other. In time I’d love if we….”
He stopped short when Harper and Tobias entered the room. Casey turned her head away, wiping a tear from her cheek.
“Is, is everything OK?” Harper asked.
“Yes, everything is fine,” Casey replied. “I need a few minutes. I’ll be back.”
She stood and bolted from the room. On instinct, Tobias moved to follow her. Taking notice, Casey looked at him and waved her hand.
“I’m good,” she whispered as she passed him.
Harper looked at Ethan, worry etched on her face.
“Actually, Tobias, can you close the door? I’d like to speak to the two of you alone.”
Tobias shut the door and took the seat beside Harper.
“I am going to be shifting cases and making some adjustments to limit group meetings in the immediate future. Before I continue, I acknowledge this may not be professional, but I feel it’s in the best interest of the team, so it needs to be done.”
“Ethan, what’s going on?” Harper asked.
Ethan took a deep breath. “Casey… Casey and I are no longer together.”
Harper let out a soft gasp.
“Ethan, I had… I had no idea.”
Tobias stared at the floor, motionless.
“I’m, I’m terribly sorry. Are you...”
“I’m fine, Harper. Thank you. Are the temporary changes acceptable to both of you?”
“Of course,” Harper replied.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Tobias said standing, “I’m also going to cut out. I have patients to check in on.”
Without another word, he hurried out the door. In reality, there was only one person he wanted to check on, and it wasn’t a patient.
Harper remained behind.
“Ethan, if I overstep, say so, but I’m not asking as a colleague. I am asking as an old friend. What happened? You two, you were… the perfect couple?”
Ethan snorted, “This is real life, Harper, nothing is perfect.”
“Ethan… is this your doing?”
“Excuse me?”
“You did this. You’re shutting her out because you’re afraid, because of Louise… I was worried, but I never thought it would go this far.”
“Harper, my decision to end my relationship with her was my decision, and I don’t wish to elaborate.”
“Ethan, I have known you a long time, and I know you so much better than most. You’re making a mistake. I will admit, I had my doubts at first, but Casey is good for you. It’s like she brought you to life. Please, Ethan, please reconsider.”
“Naveen and Tobias have already tried this, Harper. I appreciate all of you, but this is my choice. So, you and I will be working together more, and Casey will pair with Tobias….”
“Casey and… do you think that’s a good idea?” She said it so inadvertently that she was shocked to hear the words coming from her mouth.
“Why do you say that?”
“It’s just… I mean, we will all have to work together, so….”
“It’s only temporary, Harper. Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to finish up.”
____________________
Tobias was searching for Casey. After about 10 minutes, he found her in a supply closet on the other end of the hall. He entered, blocking the door for privacy. He sat on the floor across from Casey. She wasn’t crying, but by the looks of it, it was because she was all cried out.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” she replied, staring away from him. “He wasn’t even supposed to be here. Why did he have to come in today?”
“I don’t know. But think of the upside. That first meeting is now out of the way. It’s behind you.”
“Yeah, and it looks like we’ll be working together more. So that’s another good thing.”
“Well,” he said with a grin, “I’m glad you’re taking that as a positive.”
She turned to him and smiled. “Of course. I just hope you don’t get sick of me.”
“Impossible. Do you need me to stay?”
“I’m good. I’m going to leave momentarily. But we’re definitely having alcohol and ice cream tonight, right?”
“One-hundred percent. Vanilla fudge ripple coming your way. Any request on the booze?”
“As long as it isn’t fucking scotch, I don’t care.”
“I can do that, now. Let me get out of here before someone spots us and the rumors start flying.”
“Thanks, T. I’ll see you at home.”
____________________
Casey was suspicious when she saw three of her five afternoon cases moved from her to Ethan, but she honestly wanted to go home so badly, she didn’t question it. As she gathered her things and attempted to scurry out unnoticed, she ran directly into Harper.
“Oh! I’m so sorry, Harper, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
“It’s OK, Casey, no harm done. Casey, I wanted to say that, truly, I am so sorry.”
Casey looked up wide-eyed, “Oh, I guess you know then….”
“Yes, Ethan told us after you left. Casey, are you ok?”
Casey looked at Harper with a sad smile.
“That was a stupid question. Please let me withdraw it. Casey, I do want to ask… I know the two of you, you were good together, and, I know Ethan, is there any chance that if you give him time….”
“Harper. He told me I couldn’t move in with him and I had no place to go. He told me I was a mistake when all I ever did was love him. Eventually, even if there are reasons behind someone hurts you so badly, does it even matter?”
Harper gently touched Casey’s shoulder and smiled warmly, “No. It shouldn’t. If you need anything, please know, I care, I’m here.”
“That means a lot Harper, thank you.”
“And if you get sick of working with Tobias, let me know. I’ll muscle in and we can work together. Plus, then we could sit back and watch those two have to tolerate each other.”
Casey chuckled, “Well, right now, I’m all for doing that to Ethan, but I don’t want to put Tobias through it.”
“Stay strong,” Harper said before walking away.
____________________
By the time Tobias arrived home, Casey was already sitting on the couch wearing old sweats with her hair in a messy bun. Re-runs of bad 80’s sitcoms were on the TV. It had started to rain, and gloomy grey skies outside the wall of windows were the perfect backdrop for her mood.
“Hey!” Tobias yelled in from the kitchen, “Did you eat dinner yet? I was going to whip something up.”
“I’m not really hungry. I’ve had a bowl of Captain Crunch.”
He chuckled, “Captain Crunch? Dinner of champions?”
She looked over and smiled, “It’s Wheaties, and it’s breakfast of champions!”
“Well, since you’re set up with your gourmet dinner, I’ll just heat up leftovers.”
“Then you’ll come to watch TV with me?”
“Sure, if that’s what you want.”
“I do. Do you have booze for me?”
Tobias smiled. Damn, she was still funny and so adorable, even when she was this down. He sometimes wondered how he didn’t see how amazing she was even sooner than he did. Of course, he reminded himself, he was a bit of an ass back then.
“I picked up a bottle of Bartenura Moscato. Will that do?”
She sat up at attention and twisted her neck toward him. “You remembered?”
“I try to take note of things that make you happy. Now, please tell me you don’t want this together with your ice cream?”
“I don’t,” she laughed, “but pour yourself a glass and join me. You are playing the role of Sienna this evening.”
“Oh, well, slow your roll right there, Sweetheart. I mean, I think pretty highly of myself, but there is no way I can fit those shoes.”
“Don’t worry, none of us can.”
“So,” he said as he placed the glasses of wine on the coffee table and sat next to Casey on the couch, “what are we watching.”
“Say Yes to the Dress.”
“What?”
“Where was I unclear?”
“You want to watch a show… about selecting wedding gowns… while you’re getting over a breakup?”
“I’m unusual.”
“I mean… in a good way, but yeah, that’s weird.”
“OK, we’ll watch Grey’s Anatomy.”
“You don’t get enough of hospital drama at work?”
“Sure, I do. But have you ever watched it?”
“I can’t say that I have.”
“Well, Dr. Avery is hot as hell, and, frankly, I could use a little of that right now.”
“Really, let’s see this, Dr. Avery.”
Casey grabbed Tobias’s phone and pulled up a photo.
“Here.”
“Hmm. Gotta say, he’s one handsome SOB.”
“Tell me about it. Now, shhh… it’s on!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
After watching several episodes with only limited commentary, Casey shut off the TV.
“So, what did you think?” She turned to find Tobias sound asleep on the other end of the couch.
Casey picked up a pillow and tossed it at him.
“Tobias! You fell asleep on me!”
“What, uhm, only after the fourth episode.”
“I only played three.”
“How can I make it up to you?”
She just glared at him.
“I’ll go get the ice cream,” he smiled.
“You bring the pint with two spoons.”
“Well, if I got a half-gallon, do I do the same thing?”
“Yeah, even better. Aren’t you happy to be learning all these rituals?”
“Honestly, I don’t know how I went 37-years without them, Case.”
“You’re so lucky to have me!”
“So, you are doing, ok?” He said handing her the carton of ice cream, “I know it was a hard day.”
Casey signed and lowered her shoulders before shoving a giant spoon of ice cream into her mouth.
“I’m just sad, T. It’s hard to know… to know I did everything right, to know I gave all I could and, it was just… for nothing.”
“Well, I don’t think anything is ever for nothing. We gain something from everything we go through. Right now, you won’t be able to see it but, give it time. You will.”
“I wish I didn’t work with him.”
“Well, that’s a given. But you got through day one and, he does seem to want to make it easier on you. That’s something.”
“It is. You know, I feel like I need to do something enjoyable.”
“What, you mean this here tonight, it doesn’t meet your standards? I’m hurt.”
She giggled, “No, this is wonderful. But like a big day trip, with the whole gang.”
“Well, it’s fall… there are wineries, or a hike, or pumpkin picking, or….”
“Pumpkin picking!!!!!”
“Pumpkin picking?”
“OH, MY GOD? Will there be apple cider donuts?!?!?”
“Casey… Is that even a question?”
“OK, YES! We have to do this!”
“Well, then, let’s make it happen!”
“I am! I’m going to start the group text right now.”
“And I’m going to run and get changed. Put on another episode of Grey’s until I’m back. Let Dr. Avery keep you company?”
“Aw, T. Don’t get jealous. Dr. Carrick is much better company than Dr. Avery.”
15 minutes later, Tobias came back into the room.
“So, how’s the group text coming along?”
“Connors Farm in Danvers, Saturday. Sienna and Aurora are off, Bryce isn’t, but he thinks Tanaka will let him take a PTO day. Jackie said Dr. Meadows owes her a favor, so she’s going to see if they can switch, and Raf is double-checking, but he thinks he can make it too… so this motley crew is taking on the pumpkin patch.”
“I’ve never been to Connors,” Tobias pulled up the website on his phone, Casey peering over his shoulder.
“OMG T!! They have a bouncy house!!”
“You might be past the age limit, Casey.”
“You couldn’t just let me have that! Just for that, you’re now forced to join me in the corn maze!”
“Hey, I watched Grey’s with you. That’s a step up.”
“You’re not supposed to complain about my TV choices on a getting over a break-up night.”
“Sorry, dear, I don’t know all the rules. Put Grey’s on. I’m here for it.”
“I can’t wait for Saturday! It’s going to be a blast!”
____________
Early Saturday morning, Casey was making breakfast in the kitchen with the phone to her ear.
“No, Mom, I definitely have off on Thanksgiving. Sienna does too, so if she can’t go home, she said she’ll come too.”
Tobias walked in, also on the phone. He nodded at Casey.
“I don’t know, Ma. I’m not really feeling Tahiti for the holidays. I’d like to stay a little closer to home this year. What? No, I am not dull. I’m a working doctor, not a retired nurse!”
Casey: “Well, I’ll try to get down before, Mom, but work’s crazy and… why don’t you and Dad come up to Boston for a visit?”
Tobias: “We’ll work it out. Aren’t you going to be in this area soon?”
Casey: “Mom, I have to go. I’m running late. Yes, I’ll send you a picture of my pumpkin. Love you, Mom.
Tobias: “I have to go, Ma. Yes, I did say a pumpkin patch. Why would I need to be drunk to do that? Ma, I gotta go. Love you too.”
“Your Mom thinks you have to be drunk to go to a pumpkin patch? What kind of pumpkin patch did you go to growing up?”
Tobias laughs, “Pumpkin patches weren’t exactly my family’s kind of thing.”
“Oh, crap!”
“What?”
“I just got a text from Jackie. Dr. Meadows has a stomach bug, so she can’t go in to cover. She won’t be able to make it. That sucks.”
Ten minutes later, Casey received another text.
“Wonderful. Now Sienna is stuck working a double. She said she’ll see us at Donahue’s after.”
“Ah, sorry, Case. But the rest of us will still make this an epic adventure.”
Five minutes later.
“God damn it! That stomach bug must be working its way around because Aurora has it too. Now she can’t go. Well, me and the boy’s, I guess.
“Yeah, well, boys minus Raf. He just called me. Vovo’s doctor appointment is running late. But, he said he will do his best to meet us up there later.”
“Well, hopefully, we can spend at least part of the day with him. It is the three musketeers until then! It’s been a while since I have hung out with just you and Bryce, so it will actually be nice.”
“That’s the attitude. Let’s go get the car. We’ll drive over and pick him up.”
Fifteen minutes later, Tobias and Casey pull up to Bryce’s apartment building, but he’s not outside. Tobias calls him to let him know they’ve arrived. He hangs up and turns to look at Casey.
“Well, so much for the motley crew taking on the pumpkin patch.”
“What?” Casey groaned.
“His shower won’t stop running.”
“What?”
“He has to stay until the super comes with the plumber. He’s also going to try to meet us, but so much for the crew heading out together. Case, what are you doing?” he asked when he saw her frantically tapping at her phone.
“Aha! Here it is! A yacht crew can be between one and six members. So, you and I still constitute a crew, so the motley crew is absolutely still taking on the pumpkin patch! And hopefully, we’ll get two more mates later.”
“Mates?”
“Yeah, isn’t that what they call each other? Mates, maties, something like that.”
“Why don’t we stick to our names.”
“I’m down with that.”
“So, how far is this place?” Casey asked.
“According to GPS, about 35 minutes. Sorry, you’re saddled alone with me on the ride up. You’ve got to be getting sick of me by now,” he said semi-jokingly.
“Nah, not yet. Of course, I could say the same about you.”
“Absolutely not. You’re delightful.”
“Was that sarcasm?”
“No,” he laughed, “I mean it.”
“Hey, I’ve meant to talk to you, we’ve never really talked about me being at your place, and I guess we should.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, like, what are the house rules? And how do I contribute? Things like that.”
“House rules?”
“Yeah, like can I invite friends over? Do you have times you’d rather not have anyone there? What chores do you want me to pick up? Things like that and, also, I want to contribute. I’m not going to be living there for free.”
“Well, as far as rules go… it’s your home too, you can invite anyone over anytime you want. The place is big enough that we really wouldn’t bother each other if we wanted privacy and, I rarely have people over. Chores, I mean, you’ve been doing more than your share to begin with, so I don’t think we need a chart unless it would make you more comfortable.”
“I guess we can work it out. And I’d still check before bringing anyone over.” She hesitated for a moment, “And, you know, I don’t want to… impede on you… if you ever want to have… like a date over. You can tell me, I am sure I can crash with Bryce, or even the girls, for just one night. Heck, I could stay at work if need….”
“You don’t have to worry about that, Casey. Truth is, going out with Laura showed me, I’m really still not interested.”
“Really? She seemed cool. I liked her.”
“So did I.”
“So then, why not see her again?”
He looked at Casey and smiled sadly, “I’m still not ready Case. I’m… I’m still sort of hung up on the person I told you about.”
“Still?”
“Yeah, well… she’s special. She really got under my skin.”
“Well, I hope you can move on soon. I know it’s very different, but I kind of know how all this shit sucks right now, and I don’t want you to feel this way.”
He tapped her knee, “I don’t want it for you either, Sweetheart. I wish you weren’t going through all this.”
She formed a sad smile, “Thanks. But enough about that… I also want to know what I can contribute.”
“You don’t have to, Case.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Look, I’ve got money enough to spare, while you’ve got med school debt, you have to save up for when you want to be on your own… again, you don’t have to unless you want to… but I assume you will probably want to eventually.”
She stayed quiet, “I have to insist. I am not one to not do my part. I don’t want to be a burden to you.”
He looked over at her, almost annoyed, “Case, have you ever known me to do anything I don’t want to do? I mean, look, you’re my friend, and I care about you very much, but if I didn’t want you there, I’d tell you. You are not a burden.”
“In fact,” he continued a few moments later, “I’m finding that I like having you around.”
“Good,” she sounded relieved. “Because, even though this is a shitty time, I feel really at home there.”
A bright smile spread across his face, “I’m happy to hear that. Well, it looks like we’re here. What are we doing first? Hayride? Apple cider doughnuts?”
“Is that even a question?”
“So, let’s go find the doughnut stand,” he laughed.
The afternoon was delightful. To Tobias’s great amusement, Casey made her usual spectacle of herself lusting over her apple cider donut. They ran through (literally ran through) the corn maze and got very lost. It took them over an hour to get to the exit, Casey totally blamed him, and he totally blamed her. They were heading to the hayride when Tobias received a text from Bryce and Raf saying they heading up in an Uber. Bryce threatened them not to go on the hayride or pick any pumpkins without them. So, Casey and Tobias rode the Ferris wheel instead. They took silly and stupid selfies to kill time waiting. When Bryce and Raf arrived, Casey promptly smacked Bryce’s arm for making her wait so long to get on the hayride. The driver assumed Tobias was her boyfriend when they stepped onto the wagon with him. Bryce jokingly said that he was her boyfriend too. Raf joined in on the joke. Casey looked at the bewildered driver and said they were very open-minded as they all giggled. Once on the patch, they found an enormous, lopsided pumpkin with a twisted stem. It took three of them to carry (and one to photograph the three carrying it). Exhausted, they were getting ready to leave when Casey approached the operator at the bouncy house. The three men looked on, shocked and a bit scared.
“Hey, I know this is supposed to be for kids under 48 inches. And, yes, me and my friends over there are all a little over that height. But is there any way we can go in?”
The bewildered man stared at her, “Ma’am, I’d love to let you but….”
“But, I mean, there are no kids here. We wouldn’t go in with kids, just us. I promise, if we get too rambunctious, you can throw us out. Pleeeeeaaaaase?”
“But if you get injured….”
“Well, two of us are doctors, one is a physical therapist, and one is a surgeon. We’ll treat ourselves.”
“Well, OK, but only for five minutes.”
“That’s all we need!!!”
“Guys, come on!!!” she yelled.
Not one budged.
“Guys???”
They shook their heads.
“Just give me a minute….” Casey said to the operator as she marched over indignantly.
“OK, I just convinced this man to let us in the bouncy house. You have to join me!”
“Casey, I treat people with bodily injuries. I don’t want to be one of the people with bodily injuries.”
“Seriously, Raf? You jumped out of a goddamn plane with me, but a bouncy house for 5-year-olds is too intense for you?”
“OK, Bryce, Tobias, let’s go.”
“Case, we’re going to Donahue’s after this. I am not messing with the hair.”
“Bryce, there are these things called combs and hair products? For real? You’re such a diva! OK, T?” She looked at him, eyes pleading.
“Case, I’m almost 40.”
“So, you don’t look it.”
“Well, some days I feel it.”
“Do you feel it today?”
“No.”
“Pleeeeaaaase T? Don’t let me go in alone.”
“Don’t do it, man,” Bryce urged.
“Bryce, SHUT UP!” Casey admonished.
“T… it’ll be fun. Please?”
He sighed deeply, “OK, what the hell….”
Casey jumped up and down, clapping her hands. “Come on you two… last chance!”
“Oh, hell no! Now there is no way you’re getting me in there now. I am recording this and getting it on Snapchat… STAT!”
“You do and I’ll make you walk home, Lahela!” Tobias yelled as he entered the bouncy house.
Bryce shook his head.
“He is so freaking whipped.”
Raf spun his head to Bryce.
“Whipped? Wait, what?”
Bryce’s eyes bulged and his lips twisted when he realized what he just said out loud.
“Uh, I mean, because she’s his… friend… and you know, she’s staying with him, and since she is, uh, down about the breakup, he just will do whatever she wants.. yeah, that’s it.”
Raf eyed him suspiciously, “OK, if you say so?”
“Case, how the hell did you convince me to do this?” Tobias asked trying to keep his balance.
“Because you’re fun. You’re so much more fun than those two, and you know it.”
“Well, that goes without saying, but my brand of fun doesn’t usually involve… bouncy houses.”
“Well, then you’re in for a treat! Hold my hands in the center and start jumping.”
“This is insane.”
“Yes, it is,” she said as she started to jump and laugh.
Tobias got into it and jumped and laughed along with Casey until he lost his balance and fell. Casey, still standing, doubled over from laughing so hard. Sadly, that distracted her allowing Tobias to get up and jump with all his force in her direction, sending her toppling, but she grabbed his legs and pulled him down on the way. The two of them laid on the floor of the bouncy house laughing hysterically.
“Hey guys,” Bryce yelled from outside, “I got this all recorded for insurance purposes. You’ll be ok.”
“OK, I think we can go now,” Casey said panting.
“Giving up so soon, Dr. MacTavish?”
“It is quality, not quantity, that matters, Dr. Carrick, and that was epic. But I think I’m ready for a nap in the car and Donahue’s.”
“Me too.”
“You can’t nap. You have to drive.”
“You have a point… that’s why I’m giving Lahela the keys.”
“Oh, you’re brave enough to do that, but I had to beg you to get you into the bouncy house. I don’t get you, Carrick!”
____________________
A half-hour later, the four hay-covered friends sat in their booth at Donahue’s, their massive pumpkin plopped in the center of the table. Casey was a little glum.
“Hey, what’s the long face for?” Tobias asked.
“Jackie and Sienna can’t make it after all. I just miss them. I mean, I knew when our residencies ended and we were living apart we wouldn’t see each other as much, but they were like my sisters, and it’s harder than I thought.”
A few moments later, Tobias picked up his phone and text Sienna. He asked her to call him later that night, he had an idea.
Bryce returned to the table with their first round of drinks. A vigorous debate ensued over who would get to bring the pumpkin home.
“I found it. It should be mine,” Bryce insisted.
“Really Bryce? Did you lick it too! There are two of us at Tobias’s place, so we should get it. Also, it’s a trophy because we were brave enough to go in the bouncy house!”
“I never thought I’d hear the words brave and bouncy house in the same sentence,” Tobias muttered.
“What if we just cut it in four?” Raf asked. Everyone glared at him. “Yeah, not a good idea.”
Sometime in the middle of all their revelry, Ethan slipped into the bar. He kept watch over them out of the corner of his eye, but they were so engaged in their fight over the pumpkin, they didn’t notice his arrival.
“Well, I’m taking myself out of the pumpkin competition,” Raf said, standing up, “I think it was too much fresh air for me. I’m going to head home, I’m exhausted.”
“Lightweight,” Bryce yelled.
“OK, so before you go, in your opinion, who should get the pumpkin?” Casey asked.
“You should, Casey.”
“YES!!”
“What? Why, Raf?”
“Because she’s the cutest one at the table.”
“First, that’s a lie,” Bryce said.
“Want to put it to a vote, Bryce?” Casey smirked.
“Just keep the pumpkin. I’m going to the men's room to sulk.”
“Geeze, Lahela, I’ll buy you another pumpkin if it means that much to you,” Tobias laughed.
While Bryce was gone, Casey and Tobias sat next to each other laughing at the pumpkin patch pictures on her phone.
They looked up when they thought they heard Bryce slide back into the other side of the booth and, to their astonishment, Ethan was sitting there.
“Uh, hey, Boss. How is it going?”
“Well. It sounds like you had a nice day. Impressive pumpkin.”
“Yeah, we went to the patch with Bryce and Raf,” Tobias answered.
“Casey,” Ethan said, nodding in her direction.
She stared at the table sadly, “Ethan, what.. what are you doing here?”
“Just thought I’d say hello.”
“Well, hi,” Casey replied.
“I just thought that… we all have to work together so, maybe we should try to….”
“Yeah, I can’t do that right now,” Casey said as she got up from the table, “excuse me.”
Tobias watched until he saw she was in the ladies room before speaking.
“Ethan. You, OK?”
“Yeah. I know I usually don’t come over here….”
“Actually, unless you have come with Casey, you have never come over here. What gives? Why tonight?”
Because it was driving me crazy watching her from the bar…
“I just figured… I want to try to move towards being friends. If we didn’t work together it would be one thing, but we do.”
“You know, down the line, that’s could be a good idea. But, right now, it’s too raw, Ethan. She is angry, hurt, shocked…she has to process this all. I don’t think she’s remotely ready to be your friend at this point.”
“Well, she certainly is ready to be yours.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Casey and I have been friends all along, and I didn’t just dump her out of the blue.”
Ethan shook his head, “Nothing. You’re right, it’s… too soon.”
“It is. Look, you want my advice, not that you ever take it. Just try to get to a good place professionally. She needs to get over you first.”
She needs to get over you. As much as Ethan said he wanted that, deep down, he never really thought it would happen. The thought of it was one thing, accepting the reality of it happening was another. It stung more than he expected.
“Well, I may surprise you, because I will take your advice. Text Casey. Tell her it’s safe to come back.”
He sild out of the booth and made his way back to the bar, passing a confused, and pissed-off Bryce on the way.
“What was that all about?”
“Truthfully, got me,” Tobias answered.
Casey hurriedly walked back to the table.
“T, are you OK if we leave,” she said.
Tobias felt his heart sink. All of the joy that had been on Casey’s face had disappeared and all he could do is think of how he could get it back. He was calling Sienna as soon as he got back home.
“Sure thing, Kid. Let’s roll. Lahela, it’s been real.”
“Sure has. Hey, Case,” he said, causing her to turn back, “stay strong, Hun.”
Once they exited the back door, Bryce looked at the pumpkin and tipped his drink to it.
“Well, it looks like it is just you and me. And, after a couple drinks, you’re coming home with me.”
Moments later, Tobias returned and struggled to lift the heavy pumpkin from the table.
“You seriously didn’t think she was going forget about this, did you?”
Bryce laughed, “Nah, it’s OK. It should go home with you guys anyway. Have a good night, Pal. I hope Casey feels better.”
With everyone gone, Bryce quickly downed the rest of his beer and decided to head home. He walked directly out the front door, walking right by Ethan.
Chapter 18 Sneak Peek
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Hi hi! Could I request a hc with the brothers where Mc does the same thing Clem,from eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind does? Like,MC and the brother breaks up and MC decides to get a procedure to erase him and their relationship? Sorry if this is confusing:(
I unfortunately have never seen the movie so I can't exactly base it on that, but I do like the idea of MC having their memory erased, so I did the best I could.
⚠️ Warning: Absolute pure angst. This broke my heart. Grab the tissues. Seriously, you'll need them. I cried writing every single one of these.
Lucifer
The break-up really hurt him. It hurt his pride, his heart, and his soul. This broken man was now in a million pieces.
Lucifer wasn't isn't very good at receiving kindness, or love, so it was new to him, but he still did his best.
Now, everything he had ever loved had found a way to betray him, and now you belong to that list as well.
Where did he go wrong? What happened? Was he not enough for you? He always tried, even going out of his comfort zone for you.
He would try his hardest not to show how broken down he truly was, not in public. But behind the scenes he would break down, letting the tears fall.
Even with all of his hurt, he always tried to make an effort to smile at you when you passed him in the hall, even though it physically pained him to see your face.
One day after RAD, you passed him in the hallway as you normally do, but he noticed you didn't even bother to look up at him, which was unusual for you.
Turning around, concerned, he painfully uttered your name, "MC?"
You turned around, a confused look on your face. "How do you know my name?" You paused, "Do I know you?"
There goes the rest of his pride. His heart sank. Did you really not remember him? What about your memories together? The relationship you had? All of those special nights you had spent together?
He was left completely speechless. He simply took a breath to try to avoid letting tears form and mumbled "I'm sorry" before fleeing the scene.
Lucifer desperately tried to erase such an awful memory from his mind but his negative thoughts became too much for him.
That night he was a mess, putting every ounce of blame on himself. He drank until it hurt. He cried alone in his room. His broken heart fueled a now drunken rage that tore him apart from the inside, out.
You were the last thing that truly held him together. You were his stability. Now, everything you ever shared was just a memory of his, and only his. How could this happen to him?
Mammon
Mammon never truly processed the break-up. He avoided it like he avoids his debt papers.
In his eyes it never happened. It was just a little fight, right? There was no way either of you meant any of it. He never meant what he said. He was just frustrated. His brothers stressed him out.
Mammon tried desperately. He begged, pleaded, did everything he could to try to convince you to take him back.
The memory of you crying and screaming "I wish I never met you!" haunted him, day after day, night after night.
However the memory never stopped him from trying to win you back.
Having a sudden burst of confidence one night he went down to your room, breathing a deep breath before knocking at your door then letting himself in.
"MC we need to ta-" His words cut short as he noticed the terrified and confused look on your face.
"Are ya okay? Why are ya lookin' at me like that?" Mammon's heart pained at the confused look you gave him.
"Should I know you?" You asked, staring blankly at the demon before you.
"MC, c'mon that ain't funny! Of course ya remember me! I'm The Great Mammon!" Mammon's golden blue eyes were now overflowing as his heart broke all over again as you sat in front of him with a very confused look on your face.
You eventually called for Lucifer, who had to remove his absolute mess of a brother from your room.
From outside of his door, the sound of destruction filled the empty silence of the halls. Through broken sobs he yelled to himself, saying he was nothing but scum.
While the scenes of you both together replayed in his head he couldn't understand how he had let it come to this. He had lost his most precious and treasured gift. You.
Levi
Levi didn't take the break up very lightly.
Night after night he would stay awake, distracting himself by playing games, watching anime, and talking to Henry 2.0.
"Of course this would happen, Henry, no one ever likes me. I'm just a stupid yucky otaku. I'll never be good enough, not like my brothers."
Levi spent many hours sobbing, just heartbroken at the little things that reminded him of you.
He didn't understand where he went wrong. What did he do to deserve this? Why did he have to get so attached to a normie anyway?
Rather than trying to talk to you about it, he hid in his room, making sure to avoid you at all costs.
What Levi didn't realize, is that the memories you shared, were bothering you just as much as they bothered him.
His heart ached, but eventually after being hyped up by his best pal, Henry, he mustered up whatever confidence he had to finally get out of his room and talk to you when he saw you.
He wasn't at all prepared for what was about to happen.
Already shaking like a leaf, his target was aquired. He noticed you were walking towards him. His heart beating out of his chest.
As you neared closer he took a breathe, tried to focus, and spoke up, "MC? C-Can we talk..? About u-us.. please. I-I need to know what happened. I can't take it anymore."
Your blank expression tugged at his already hurting heart, but your words truly felt like a final hit on a boss.
"Sorry, have we met before?" Your voice was calm and pure, indicating to him that you truly didn't know who he was.
Left frozen in shock, he could feel his body tingle, his eyes watering, his chest tighten, his throat left dry.
"N-No, I'm sorry. I-I thought you were someone else.."
When he finally got back to his room, he was both torn, and upset. Envious that you now didn't have to share the guilt and pain of remembering all of the great memories you both shared. He should've known better than to fall in love with a normie.
Satan
As good as he was at controlling his rage, he completely lost all of his cool after you both broke up. His heartbreak overwhelmed his emotions and he was barely able to keep himself in check.
He spent many nights trying to talk himself through the pain, reciting everything that went wrong and how he could've fixed it.
Satan tried desperately to look at the logistical side of this. But his heart hurt too much.
He had spent his time in the library, trying to use books as his way of keeping him grounded. The more he read, the more he realized that the scenes in the books he was reading reminded him of you and everything you shared together.
That was until you casually walked into the library.
His aching heart pained at the sight of you. He wasn't ready to see you just yet, but he maintained the little composure he had left. He had to speak the truth.
"I thought I'd never see you in here again. You know.. I miss you, and I'm sorry that things ended the way they did. I hope you can forgive me for acting like such a fool."
He studied you, but the more he watched, the more he felt his heart crush under the weight of your expressions.
"What? Oh, you're talking to me? Sorry, but I can't say I know who you are. I think you might have the wrong person."
Confused, he watched your puzzled face try to look for any sign of familiarity, "MC, what are you talking about?"
"Sorry, are you the librarian or something? Is that how you know who I am?"
Then it finally clicked in his head. You truly didn't remember him.
This boy was somehow even more shattered than before. His emotions too shocked to form a proper response.
"My apologies, I must get going."
When he finally reached his room, he slammed the door shut, sent into a seething rage from the pain that now flooded his chest, he destroyed his room, books tossed everywhere.
Satan wasn't the same after that. Blinded by the hurt, he went on a rampage, not making any attempts to hide his anger. He was torn apart, angry that he couldn't even do anything to prevent such a disastrous situation.
Now he holds all of your previous memories, and he can't do anything but cry over how much he misses what you had. Before the world around him turned dark.
Asmo
Of course Asmodeus didn't handle a break up very well. He either spent his time sulking around, or he out partying, overspending, and trying to hide the pain that you caused him.
Most nights Asmo would come home absolutely wasted, then eventually cry himself to sleep while he stared, broken-hearted, at the spot that you used to lay.
He wanted nothing more than to forget everything, to start over. He never wanted to lose you the way he did.
His broken heart could barely stand the sight of seeing you, and it was getting to the point where he was even ashamed to look himself in the mirror.
One of his drunken nights he stumbled through the empty midnight halls, tears already streaming down his perfect face.
His glossy eyes met yours as you headed down the hall for a late night snack.
"BABYYY!!" Asmo called, wiping his face before quickly clinging to your frame. He started to sob again, repeating his drunken slurs.
Carefully but with force, you pried the intoxicated demon from your body and looked at him confused.
"Sorry, I don't know who you think I am, but I don't know who you are, or what you're doing, so if you'll just...excuse me..." Your confused tone made him break down more.
"W-What do you mean you don't know who I am? I-I'm Asmo! I'm the... the prettiest d-demon in Devildom! Y-your lover!" He could hardly speak through his broken sobs, trying to crawl towards you, just to be able to touch you again.
Asmo pathetically watched you shake your head and stumble away from him, heading off to the kitchen like you intended.
Left a mess in the middle of the hall, Lucifer eventually heard his groaning and helped him back to his room.
Upon getting to his room he crawled to sit in front of his full body mirror, his peachy eyes examining every flaw he could find.
"How!? How could they forget me?! I-I thought they loved me? W-was I not enough? Was I ever enough?"
He continued to stare at himself in the mirror, mascara stains dripping down his face, lipstick smudged, hair a mess.
"I'll never be good enough. Why can't I be as pretty as I was when I was an angel? Why did I have to get cursed with this sin? Why? Why!?"
Asmo was broken. All he wanted was to be happy, together, with you. Now he was left with regret, a broken heart, and the precious memories that he could no longer think about without tearing up.
Beel
While he may have seemed completely fine on the outside, Beel was absolutely torn to pieces after the breakup.
Not everyone noticed, as he tried to play it off like he normally does when he is feeling upset.
Beel is one to keep his emotions to himself in fear that he will upset the ones he cares about most.
In an attempt to fill the painful void in his heart that was left from you leaving, he ate more. Everything in sight. It was a lot worse than usual.
Some nights after Belphie would fall into a deep sleep, he would just stay awake and cry, questioning himself and where he went wrong.
During a late night breakdown, with a growling stomach, he left the comfort of his room to quickly grab a snack from the kitchen.
While rummaging through the fridge, he wasn't able to hear you enter the room.
"Oh, I didn't expect anyone else to be in here." Your voice making him jump a bit, not expecting to hear you. His heart pained at the sound, but he quickly wiped his eyes before turning to you.
"Huh? Oh. Hello MC! I was just getting a snack, like I usually do. You know.." He tried to keep his composure while looking at you. He admired your face, missing being able to gently press his lips to yours, and hold you tightly in his arms.
"Oh? Uh, how did you know my name? I don't remember ever seeing you before.. are you new here?" Your words felt like needles throughout his body, but he smiles a soft smile.
"S-Sorry, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Beelzebub, the 6th born, Avatar of Gluttoney.. I uh, I hope to see you around more." And with that, he made his way back to his room.
Letting the pain of everything he has even been through wash over him like a tsunami, he let himself go. Belphie eventually woke up and found him still a mess and tried to comfort him.
He poured his heart out to his younger brother, who was now crying as he watched his soft-hearted brother cry to him.
Beel never truly recovered. He was just a shell of what he used to be, going many days without eating like he used to. He wanted to feel the pain of his hunger to distract himself from the memories he helplessly carried of your past relationship, and all of the other pain he has deep in his heart.
Belphie
Similar to his twin brother, Belphie was very good at hiding his emotions.
Your separation had him very uneasy. His mind wasn't able to fully grasp that you were no longer his.
He spent many of his days sleeping, much more than he normally would. He would miss meals, miss school, even miss student council meetings.
His sadness and pain of losing you only made him lose more motivation. He knew that there was nothing he could do.
After everything you'd been through, he knew deep down it was for the best.
Eventually he started having nightmares. At first they were nothing too unusual, simply reminders of your loss of relationship.
As time continued, they got more vivid, worrying the sleepy demon.
One night he had a dream you'd forgotten him. As if you'd never met him. He woke up in a cold sweat at the thought, but simply tried to brush it off.
The next morning he managed to get up for breakfast, sitting across from you. It was eerily silent as his brothers were worried about the tension between you both.
Watching you lean to your side towards Asmo, you'd whispered something that Belphie couldn't quite make out, but judging by the look on Asmodeus, it was not something he would've wanted to hear anyway.
Curiosity eventually getting the best of him, he pulled Asmo aside to ask what you'd whispered to him this morning.
With a dull face and hesitant expression, the Avatar of Lust told him that you'd asked who he was, as you didn't recognize his face.
With a heavy heart, Belphegor set off to try to find you. He had to know if his nightmare was in fact coming true.
"MC? D-Do you remember me?" The demon asked, holding himself together the best he could.
"I'm sorry, have we met before? I can't say I've ever seen you before?" Your words cut like knives.
So it was true? You didn't remember a thing.
While he was thankful he was able to start over, it pained him to know you'd never understand how he knew so much about you. Of course he couldn't say anything either, in fear of driving you away.
It haunted him for so many nights. Over and over he'd have the reoccurring dream that became reality. Eventually he gave in, staying up as many nights as he could before his body gave out from lack of sleep.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me babes#obey me!#obey me swd#om! swd#swd obey me#obey me! shall we date?#obey me! swd#obey me headcanons#obey me hc#obey me! hc#obey me! headcanons#obey me! imagines#obey me imagines#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#lucifer avatar of pride#mammon avatar of greed#leviathan avatar of envy#satan avatar of wrath#asmodeus avatar of lust#beelzebub avatar of gluttony#belphegor avatar of sloth#obey me brothers
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Nicky when mc is on their period
(obviously cw for people with dysphoria!)
This is for you @jadeee ! I got your back in these trying times! I can only do Nicky for now bc I don’t know Howie as well, but I will absolutely replay Howie’s route and add it once I get a hold on Howie’s personality 💖💖💖
(remember to check my hc rules before requesting!)
I like to believe Nicky’s mom raised him right and taught him about these bodily functions. Even if she didn’t, he’s someone who loves learning so, chances are he heard of them and decided to pick up a book about it.
So he already knows how periods work and doesn’t mind the slightest when it’s that time of the month for you.
He goes into full loving mode. He’s asking you if you need anything; if you’ve got enough products, if you want cuddles, or if he needs to push anything scheduled to a different day. You could ask this man for anything and he would be so happy to provide it for you.
If your cramps are extra bad, he’ll be more than willing to give you a nice massage where the cramps are hurting the most. (cramps happen as a result of the uterus contracting, so massages can help relax it).
Heating blankets aren’t exactly a super safe or developed thing yet, so he’ll provide you with his body heat and blankets instead. The two of you can get all nice and cuddled under some fluffy blankets and relax
Nicky reminds you to drink water and uses this as an excuse to spoil you even more.
Overall he’s even more doting than he already was, and definitely overeager to do things for you.
If you prefer space when you’re bleeding out, he will absolutely respect that and dote from a distance.
He hates how inconvenient it is for you, and he just wants to help you as much as he can 🥺💖
“Hey Nicky, do you think you could make me some tea?” “No need to even question, toots, I’m on it. I’ll be back before you know it with that tea”
He comes back with the tea, and it's made exactly how you like it, even down to the temperature.
He’s constantly taking mental notes on what makes you happiest
Honestly, he uses it as an excuse to make you as happy as possible, not that he isn’t already doing that all the time.
He’s doing everything to make this as easy on you as possible. He probably goes overboard, but is he really Nicky Valentino if he does’t go all out? His train of thought is “I have no idea how painful or uncomfortable this is, but I know it’s unpleasant. So, since I don’t know the level of pain, I would rather go overboard than underboard ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”
But, honestly, if you would rather just spend the entire day cuddling, he would be so down. He could never get enough of you.
So cuddle up with this man, a warm cup of herbal tea in hand and spend the days relaxing because Nicky Valentino is gonna take care of you as much as you want him to. ☺️
a/n- I meant to get this done yesterday, but i kept getting distracted and i was all over the place. probably has something to do with me forgetting to take my medication 😬😬 I hope i did well lol 😅 I hope you all have a fantastic week, and i hope this helps those who may be bleeding out! Once i catch up on homework, im going to try and write more. I have so many ideas! 💖💖💖
#cw periods#cw dysphoria#tw periods#tw dysphoria#nicky fictif#nix hydra games#nicky valentino fictif#fictif nix hydra#fictif nicky x mc#fictif nicky valentino#fictif nicky#fictif tatw#fictif two against the world#two against the world#tatw#fictif headcanons#madebyeggy
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OMG SIA!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! 🤩💜👏✨
200 people that appreciate and love your talent [including me ofc 😜]
I would love more about Dancer!Sukuna Please 🥺. Maybe Sukuna and MC end up late at the studio rehearsing the new choreo but since it’s just them the mood is less strict and more fun and flirty!! 💃🕺
About me? Well, since I found out your Tattoo Artist!Sukuna my brain has been in brain rot Sukuna state 25/8 lol 😆 but tbh, I don’t regret it 💅✨, funfact I’m a fashion student and my pronouns are she/her 😬.
Anyways, I’m so proud of you! And I know you’ll reach even more within the time and the amazing works you come up!!! ✨💜✨
Thank you so so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it a lot 💜💜💜
I completely forgot I had made Dancer! Sukuna headcannons, so thanks for reminding me :D I'm glad I could infect you with my constant thoughts of Sukuna as a secretly really soft tattoo artist 💕. Again thank you so much I'm all giddy and happy :> and I'm sorry it took a bit long, college was a bit of a bitch but I'm getting back on track :D will definitely revisit Dancer! Sukuna too. Hope you enjoy reading and have a good one :> 💗💜💜💜
Choreographer/ Dancer! Sukuna x F!reader
Warnings: a bit of suggestive content, language, that's all.
"You're dragging your left foot again."
Of course y/n was dragging her feet at this point, the studio was supposed to be closed, but her and Sukuna stayed late, a common practice amongst them, cause Sukuna wants to show her the choreographies that don't make the class, today was a bit different though.
"What's with you, I've showed you the routine three times and you're still messing up the footwork"
Y/n grasped choreos really fast, usually by two ties she'd have everything down tonight wasn't the same, she didn't really know why but she was much more nervous that usual.
"I don't want to keep you here if I keep messing up, I'm sure you've got better things to do and I've got class tomorrow"
Sukuna gave her a little laugh, this girl was an open book. "What's the fun in going home so early? We haven't even gotten to the good part yet and you better be designing those sneakers I asked two months ago in your 'class'"
Good part? Y/n questioned in her brain, fearing that her oh so lovely trainer would have her do flips. Again.
"My legs hurt, give me a break."
"Come on, you're always so whiny, let's just do it together"
Together?
Sukuna turned the music on again, that guy who lives upstairs would definitely make another noice complaint, but Sukuna couldn't care less. This scene has been stuck in his mind for days and a guy with a stick up his ass isn't going to stop him from actually living what he's been replaying in his head, dying to actually experience.
"Come here"
Y/n didn't need to be told that twice, and hurried over to him, Sukuna grabbed her shoulders and placed her Infront of him as gently as he could, he's a big guy.
"Ok, follow my lead"
He did his usual five, six, seven, eight and quickly begun moving.
Y/n followed along as best she could, her muscle memory kicking in, she found it easy to execute everything Sukuna was showing her for about an hour and a half.
She barely even noticed the intimacy of their moves at first, untill Sukuna's hand found her waist and pulled her back to reality. His presence was almost suffocating and the way his eyes never left hers didn't help either, but y/n tried her best not to mess up from his constant distraction. One way to do that is to play along, but what would happen if she did? There was undeniable chemistry between the two, everyone could see it, rumours were spreading in the studio that something was going on with them and the little crowd that gossiped and fawned over them doing their thing only added fuel to the fire.
Sukuna and y/n moved in perfect harmony, the sharpness he had complimenting her softness, their styles are so different but they work so well together, their eyes still locked, Sukuna found y/n's expression impossible to read as the song was close to an end, but he only wanted to saw her in closer just so he could figure it out.
The song was over much sooner than either of them wanted, the final poses being a bit too close for comfort, with y/n laying under Sukuna, who stared down at her with a grin plastered on his face
"Would you look at that? you should've said you wanted to do it together from the beginning, you didn't miss a single step."
Y/n let a groan out as he rolled off of her.
"My legs are killing me."
"I can think of a few ways to loosen up."
Y/n reached over to him and smacked him on the arm too tired to try and argue with him.
How was he not out of breath after this many hours and still in his usual teasing mode, one can never know.
"You should make them blue, like that top you wore yesterday, hightops."
"What?"
"The shoes, I want them in blue."
"Didn't you want purple and orange Chita print last time?"
Both of them were sweaty laying there staring at the ceiling.
"I didn't think you took that seriously."
#jjk sukuna#au ryomen sukuna#au sukuna#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader#choreographer Sukuna#a happy ryosmne#ryosmne 200 followers event#jjk drabbles#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#sukuna drabbles
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Proposal
Leviathan x gn!MC
Words - 1916
Content Warnings - mild angst, lots of fluff, love confessions
Prompt/Inspiration - inspired by the “Wedding Vows” event
Summary - Following Levi’s proposal audition, you are forced to confront your feelings for him.
AO3
Levi’s proposal was perfect.
You loved everything about it. Who programs an entire video game in a single week just to propose to someone? Well, Levi apparently. And he did not overlook any details. From the character design, to the level design, to even the background music. You could tell how much effort he put into it.
Only thing is...it wasn’t really for you.
It wasn’t until he finished his speech that it finally dawned on you, and it took everything you had to not break down on the spot and run away crying. You should have known better. You tried to prepare yourself all week. But the minute he stepped out for his turn at the audition, you let yourself get swept away by emotion because it just felt so real.
It wasn’t real though. And it never would be real. Because try as you might to get closer to Levi, he just wasn’t interested. Not like that at least. You were his best friend, his Henry, and for the most part, you were alright with that. If it meant you could stay with him and continue to enjoy his company, then Henry you would be.
But watching his proposal just now? It ripped your heart to shreds. A reminder of something that you would never have.
Thank goodness Mammon’s proposal immediately followed so you didn’t have time to wallow in your own self pity. You could always count on him to bring a smile to your face and distract you when needed. You almost had to wonder if he prepared such a big, over the top flash mob proposal just because he knew how hard it would be for you to handle Levi’s. He was just that sort of thoughtful demon, even if he would never admit to it.
By the end of the night, you had almost completely forgotten how heartbroken you had been earlier. Every now and then during the shoot you’d catch sight of Levi and offer him a small smile, but he was starting to look a little out of sorts himself too. It had been a long day after all, so it wouldn’t be entirely out of the question for him to be exhausted by this point.
By the time you finally managed to corner him and pull him aside, you were ready to go home yourself.
“Hey, do you think you can walk me home? I’m kinda worn out now and could really use the break. I already checked with Lord Diavolo and he said it would be alright.”
Levi had to think for a moment. He really didn’t want to be alone with you right now. You may have been trying to hide it, but he had seen the disappointment on your face when he finished his proposal earlier, and he kept replaying it over and over again in his head. He had tried so hard to make everything perfect for you. He knew that he’d never have the courage to tell you how he felt for real, so he poured his all into this in the vain hope that at least some of his feelings would get across.
But at the same time, he really wanted to get back to the comfort and safety of his room and curl up in his tub for the next century.
“Alright. Fine. I guess we can.”
You were a little surprised at how short his response was, but tried to write it off as just him being tired as you headed for home.
————
The walk back to the House of Lamentation was full of awkward silence. You were used to spending time quietly with Levi while you both read a book or manga separately, but this was different. You had so much you wanted to say to him - how much you loved his proposal, how much you loved him, how you would have said ‘yes’ in a heartbeat. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.
Levi was also struggling with what to say. He really wanted to know why you looked so sad, why you still looked so sad. He watched you interact with his brothers all day and you looked perfectly happy with them, but the moment you caught him staring your smile would falter and you’d quickly look away.
He assumed of course it had to be something he did wrong. Was the game not good enough? Were you upset that he got so carried away and finished for you? Or were you just totally disgusted by the idea of someone like him proposing to you that it made you want to burst into tears anytime you saw him? And if you were actually disgusted with him, did that mean you didn’t want to be his friend anymore either? The thought was too painful to even imagine.
Levi was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even realize when the two of you had arrived in front of your bedroom door. Neither of you seemed ready to part quite yet, both of you still hesitating on what to say. So Levi figured he might as well get this over with while he had the chance and knew his brothers wouldn’t interrupt.
“So...Umm…did I do something? I know my game idea was kinda cheesy and everything, I mean seriously who does that? And it’s from me of course so I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t want to hear that from me...I know what I’m like and…”
“Levi! Stop!” you thought you had been heartbroken earlier, but it was nothing compared to how you felt now. Not only had Levi noticed your disappointment, but he had been blaming himself for it all afternoon. No wonder he looked so worn out. The guilt felt crushing, and at some point you had started to cry, a steady stream of tears flowing from your eyes.
“That’s...that’s not what happened,” your voice was barely above a whisper now as you dropped your gaze to the floor. Wiping roughly at your eyes in an attempt to stop the tears, you took a deep breath to calm yourself before continuing.
“I...I really liked your proposal. It was my favorite actually,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady and even.
“Then why did you look so sad?”
“That’s...umm...well...well, I liked it so much I was disappointed it wasn’t real, I guess,” you gave a self deprecating laugh at that. How foolish it sounded when you put it into words. And how much more foolish you had to be in order to say them out loud. But you couldn’t let Levi blame himself for your feelings, so you had to tell him the truth. Better for him to be disappointed in you for wanting more out of the relationship than he did, you thought.
“What are you talking about? Of course it was real. I stayed up all night working on it for a week!”
You lifted your head to look at Levi, absolutely stunned at what you were hearing. He couldn’t possibly be this dense could he? Surely he had to have known what you meant when you said it wasn’t “real”...right? Your mouth opened and closed as you struggled to put a response into words.
“If you didn’t like it, you could just say that. I made it myself, so I know it wasn’t that great, like everything else…”
“Hey! I said to stop that! Seriously! I told you I liked it already.”
“Then why were you crying just now?”
“That’s….”
“See, you can’t even deny it. It was my fault, I get it. I’m sure I just made you uncomfortable proposing to you like that.”
“ARGHHHH!” You let out a loud, frustrated growl. You absolutely adored this boy, but holy cow could his self doubt really make things way more complicated than they needed to be sometimes.
“Levi, I love you dammit. That’s what I’m trying to say. I love you. I cried because I realized your proposal wasn’t real and you’d never actually say those things to me. Alright?”, you let out a sigh as you caught your breath, “I’m going to bed now, I’m exhausted. Goodnight Levi.”
“Uh goodnight,” was all he could say before you closed your door behind you.
Now alone in the hall, Levi was left to work through his thoughts. You loved him? Where did that come from? He had been trying to drop hints to you forever, but you never seemed to pick up on them. And now you were saying you loved him? Why didn’t you say anything sooner if that were the case? He couldn’t really blame you though, he never told you how he felt himself, after all.
Wait.
HE NEVER TOLD YOU HOW HE FELT.
“Hey!! Wait a second!” Levi yelled as he yanked open your door. Fortunately for him you hadn’t bothered undressing yet or things would have gotten very awkward very quickly, a thought that only occurred to him as he watched you sit up on your bed still fully clothed.
“What is it Levi? I really would like to get some sleep,” you were absolutely drained now and really did not have it in you to spend any more time explaining to him how you felt. He knew enough to not blame himself, and that was just going to have to be good enough for now.
Without stopping to think (because if he stopped to think about anything he was about to do, Levi knew there was no way he’d be able to do it), Levi knelt on the ground by your bed and wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face in your stomach.
“I didn’t give you my answer. You can’t just leave after a confession. You have to wait for my answer.”
“Your an…” your heart was pounding in your chest now and you fought desperately to keep it under control, and to rein in your emotions. Just because he wanted to give you an answer didn’t mean that he was going to say that he felt the same. He probably just wanted to enjoy the anime-esque moment and make the most of it. Yeah that had to be it.
“I love you too.” By now Levi was blushing a deep shade of red and oh so thankful that he was able to hide his face from you in this position. Even though you confessed first and took a lot of the pressure off him, this was still really embarrassing. Plus there was always that nagging voice in the back of his head telling him he misunderstood you and was just making things worse.
“Do you...do you mean that?” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. There was no way this was real right? You had tried telling him so many times before and he always deflected and shut down your attempts before you could even finish. But now here he was, clinging to you, telling you he loved you.
“Of course I do! I wouldn’t do something this embarrassing if I didn’t,” he said, squeezing you tighter.
You couldn’t help but laugh at that answer. It was just so very...Levi. Gently, you wrapped your arms around him and returned the hug, lowering your head so you could rest it on top of his own. He really was here with you right now, and your heart had never felt so full.
#gn!mc#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me levi#levi x mc#obey me fanfic#obey me fluff#levi fanfic#levi fluff
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Sexism And Misogyny In Fanfiction
In times that celebrities identify themselves as feminists and debates about women’s rights are constantly seen in television and on social media, we’re led to believe hate against women is no longer accepted in our society. However, sexism and misogyny are everywhere. This is not an awfully exaggerated generalization. These forms of hate constantly stare at us in the face and you certainly have overlooked them.
In fiction, this issue is obvious. It doesn’t take long for anyone to find any form of art (music, films, tv series, books, etc) about female characters who only wear “girly clothes” and it quickly escalates to “girly hobbies” and “girly professions”. It isn’t hard to see a dialogue with the sentence “man up” or to see a male character being mocked for “losing to a girl”. It looks like a minor issue, but these dumb concepts make a huge impact on how characters are seen and treated by the media, audience and their creators and eventually affects characters of other genders too. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. That’s a subject for another post.
To me, one of the biggest insults is judging a character by associating their behavior to their sexual lives. After decades since women achieved some basic rights like voting, basic and higher education, working outside their homes and access to contraceptive methods, one would think those accomplishments would help women to be seen as actual citizens. Yet, sexist concepts remain alive in society.
Pejorative terms used against women is the most common offense I see in fics. It happens all the time. When I was running a blog to promote fanfics of one the fandoms I'm part of, there was a week we received fifty-two submissions. Five of them didn’t make it to the list because the words “bitch” and “twat” were used to refer to female characters. That’s 9% of all fanworks received that week. FYI, those works were written by female fanfic authors.
Female authors blatantly slut shaming female characters is far from being new or surprising. But it’s revolting. When we (women) fall on the same traps our sexist societies want us to believe it binds us to perceive women as humans worthy of respect. It screams sexism. But, as usual, someone might pull the “it’s just fiction” card to say it isn’t that deep and I’m reading too much into it. I’m not. Your writing is part of you. The moment you as a writer gives a sexist line to the main characters of your story, you’re making a statement through those characters. It is hate against women and female characters.
Gendered slurs are constantly used in life-like situations that often hit close to home. Every time a character calls a female one known for speaking her mind a bitch, it subtly tells real-life women to stay quiet. Double standards always slap real women in the face when we see a female character being called a slut because she cheated on her fiancé while the male character suddenly becomes the victim. If it reminds you of any particular character or story, believe me. It’s not a coincidence.
Do you know what’s also annoying as hell? Rivalry between women. It’s tiring to see female characters becoming arch-enemies over a dude that sometimes isn’t even worth the fight (insert your favorite trashy male LI here). Yes, I do realize I’m killing off the plot of some of my favorite fictional stories, but let’s take a minute to talk about it.
I'll use as an example The Royal Romance visual novel and the three main suitors of the main LI, Olivia Nevrakis, Madeleine Amaranth and MC. While replaying books one and book two, I realized the rivalries Olivia versus MC and Madeleine versus MC have different motivations. Olivia saw MC as an enemy because she loved Liam. On the other hand, Madeleine never loved Liam. She wanted the crown and MC was her obstacle. They still were rivals, but for different reasons. It explains why Madeleine defends MC in the chapter of the bachelorette party when the press tries to diss MC. She respects MC as a person, but MC happens to be the one can stop her from becoming queen.
Now, think about it. Why can’t we find more fanfics about rivalry for jobs or accomplishments? Why does it always have to be about a guy? Do these characters deserve to be called bitch (regardless of the motivations of the rivalry) just because they don’t like MC?
The implications of judging women (whether they’re seen as strong characters or not) as bitches, sluts, or whores are big. When it comes from another female character written by a female author, it crushes me. It really does. Reducing women (even if they’re fictional) to gendered slurs makes us look inferior, weak. And like I said to the first person whose fanwork I didn’t reblog because of the word bitch, slurs do absolutely nothing for the story and for the fanfic author’s personal writing style. It just shows that they’re blatantly sexist.
Before I finish, I still have to talk about another relevant point. Lots of authors write sexual assault scenes for different reasons. It’s not my place to say how graphic or not they can be in fanworks or judge whoever likes it. To each their own. But one thing that truly upsets me about those scenes is when they have no purpose in the plot.
I completely understand when such intense violence is added to a story when it makes significant changes in the plot. But stories which there’s no character development for the victim, no implications on any characters’ lives or on how that particular event will make an impact in the plot are misogynist. Every single thing you add to a story has to serve a purpose on the story. Otherwise, you’re merely wasting time by writing nonsense just to prove “character A is that mean” and get a few notes.
This is why I can’t ignore fanworks with gendered slurs and misogynist scenes. It hits too close to home. I did write things related to these themes several times and I’ll probably do it again. But I know the responsibility I have to the female characters’ development in a story when I write a scene about women’s rights being violated. And it’s what I believe every good writer (even if they just write for fun) should do.
#creative writing#writing advice#female characters#sexism#misogyny#fanfiction#fandom critical#fanfiction 101#long post
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Desire and Decorum book 2 replay - chapter 6
Yeah, you don't have to remind me.. 🙄
How could she!? As if she hadn't enough already..
Tell him, Clara!
I love these two so much!
She will always be his favorite person! 🥰
Glad we all agree not just about duke Richards but also grandma dearest.. 😔
I wasn't sure whether to purchase this scene at first, but I couldn't have Ernest wait there all night.. 🤭
I just love all of these friendships.. 🙂
Lol, no more of those, Briar! 🤭
Aww, was Edmund always a gentleman to everyone but MC? Or did he change thanks to the improved relationship with her? 🤔
Took you long enough!
#edgewaterbookclub#desire and decorum#d&d#choices d&d#Desire and Decorum book 2#D&D book 2#playchoices#choices stories you play#choices stories we play#pixelberry#pixelberry studios
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denial
Book: Open Heart
Warnings: Implied sex
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Ethan x F!MC
Word count: 1900+
Author’s Note: I’ve kind of written a sequel for this fic and you can find it here! Check out my masterlist while you’re here too!
He knew she was special from the moment he met her. He could see the determination in her eyes, the hope that there was still some good left in the world. She was the only slither of light left in his world, the star guiding him through the darkness.
He was hesitant. He thought that if he told her it would ruin their relationship, or whatever it was that they were, but most importantly it would risk their lives. He had a good career, nobody would bat an eye about him, but he knew that if they came out to the world there’d be whispers about her, and he couldn’t be the one who ruined her career.
But one day, he was watching her. He watched her give her all to save a patient's life and he thought to himself, “I can’t be the one to throw away the love of my life either.”
So he told her. Sure, he was a blubbering mess but he told her what he really felt, how much he cared for her, how much he loved her. That was all it took. Just like that, they were together. They were happy.
She doesn’t think about the times she looked at him and knew right then and there he was the love of her life
“Of course you’re great with kids too,” she rolled her eyes.
He let go of the now 3-year-old little Ethan Hudson’s hand. The two of them had taken their rare day off from work to spend some time with little Ethan, or as she liked to call him, Tad, short for tadpole, the nickname Delores used to call him.
“And that’s a problem?” He raised an eyebrow at her as little Ethan ran off towards the playground in the middle of the park.
“Yeah, now I can’t find anything you aren’t good at,” Ethan’s lips curled up into a small but visible smirk, “do you know exactly how frustrating that is?”
“Oh, I know all about it,” he wrapped his arms around her waist, “I have to deal with that every second I’m around you.”
She threw her head back and laughed, “that was very smooth.”
“I learned from the very best,” he replied as his smirk widened into a grin.
They sat down on a bench in peaceful silence as they watched little Ethan play on the playground with the other kids. He had gotten into some sort of argument with another toddler around his age. They’d been fighting over a sandcastle mould which was really one of them using it and the other snatching it up when no one was watching.
The sun was shining directly over them and it was starting to feel warmer by the second.
“We should take little Ethan to go get ice cream,” she said to him as they watched him wipe sweat off his forehead. She started to get up when he pulled her back down.
“I can’t let you tell him. He already likes you better than me and I refuse to end up just being ‘Ethan’s aunt’s boyfriend,’” he said with playful disgust lacing the last few words.
She teased, “can you really blame him?”
“No, I suppose I can’t,” he said as he stood up and took her hand, leading her to where little Ethan was, “you’re just too perfect like that, Rookie.”
She didn’t think of him anymore
If it weren’t for the cool air or the streams of morning light passing through the ever so slightly opened window, she would have thought of the situation as less of a fairytale dream and more of what it really was—a slow-moving nightmare that would haunt her endlessly
Her heart beat in sync with his breathing as she stared aimlessly at the wall to her side while he slept. Afraid that he’ll leave all too soon, she closed her eyes and slowed her breathing when she felt him stir in bed, meaning that he’d be waking up any second now.
She felt him peel his arm off her side as he sat up in bed, probably looking around at the mess they’d made last night. Her brain told her over and over again to open her eyes, do something, say something, anything to him, but she decided that maybe it was best if he just left right then and there. She didn’t want to put herself through any more pain than she had already been through and knew she’d undoubtedly face soon enough.
Light kisses were trailed down her neck as she felt his weight shift. Why did he do that? Why did he decide to remind her of their anger-fuelled relapse last night that ended with her in his arms, not wanting to be there but not willing to let go?
She felt warm drops of his tears fall onto the base of her neck as he left the last pepper of kisses. It was like he wanted to leave her with something to accompany the scars on her heart that he had caused.
She felt the weight being lifted off her as she felt him leave the bed. She tried to keep her eyes shut as she heard his feet shuffle across the hardwood floor of her bedroom.
But alas, her breaking point was when she heard his belt being picked up off the floor, along with his tie and the rest of his clothes that were strewn across the room, long forgotten in the haze that was the night before.
“Don’t leave me,” she croaked out just as he finished tying the laces of his shoes, “please, Ethan. I’m begging you,” she pleaded desperately.
He looked at her sadly, maybe contemplating whether he wanted to stay or not, if he could bring himself to ruin her, if he wanted to be remembered in her eyes as the man who crushed her heart without a sense of guilt.
He stepped closer to her, standing at the edge of the bed. She looked up at him expectantly but he simply shook his head lightly. Cupping her face with his hands, he leaned down, bringing his lips to meet hers as he kissed her with all the emotions he could muster.
He stepped away, giving her one final longing look, “I’m sorry,” he looked down to his feet, “you have no idea how sorry I am,” his hoarse voice made tears well up at the sides of her eyes, threatening to fall at any given moment.
She couldn’t pull her eyes off him as he walked away no matter how much she wanted to. As the sound of the front door closing echoed through the silent hallway of her apartment, she stared ahead emotionlessly. She looked to her empty bed, the open wound that would never quite heal fully, if at all.
She didn’t cry. She would have welcomed the tears with open arms right then but they just refused to fall, to roll down her face and stain the blankets that once wrapped around the man she thought she’d spend the rest of her life with.
At that point, anything would be better than the dreadful feeling of emptiness that was stuck at the back of her throat, clawing at her emotions that left when he did.
There was no longer even the slightest trace of Ethan in the entirety of her apartment, no memories of last night's events present except the one that replayed in her mind over and over again.
She doesn’t think about the words she wished could be taken back.
“We’ve all made mistakes, Rookie,” the enchanting nickname she used to love was being twisted against her, and she hated it.
“Don’t compare us, Ethan. I’m nothing like you,” she spat the words out as if they were venom.
“It takes two people to destroy a relationship,” his volume raised a few levels.
“Well, when things get hard I don’t run off to the Amazon for the second time!”
The words struck Ethan like a knife. How did she know he applied to go back? He laughed at himself internally, of course she knew. Everyone was in awe of her, someone would’ve let it slip eventually.
Everything finally made sense, the guilt that had been building up for weeks now finally reached a breaking point when he saw the hurt look on her face.
Any anger he previously had disappeared as she turned away from him, not wanting him to see just how broken she was, how broken he made her. Something in her wanted him to yell at her, to tell her that she was wrong. She knew the truth, but she wanted him to lie to her one last time. It could’ve been good, it would’ve been better.
The denial she wished so hard for never came.
“Will you ever forgive me?” He asked nervously.
She scoffed at his words, “Of course I want to forgive you, you have no idea how much I want to forgive you,” her voice softened, “but I’m scared that if I forgive you, you’ll come back and hurt me deeper than you already have,” she told the truth, then decided that she absolutely hated telling the truth.
He let out a defeated and shaky sigh, “so we’re over then,” he leaned against the counter. She didn’t know it, but if he hadn’t leaned against the counter, he wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t have collapsed.
“Yeah. Yeah, we are,” she tried to hide the tears that slipped down her cheeks but he noticed them, he always did. It broke him inside to know that he was the cause of her pain and her tears, and it hurt more to know that there wasn’t anything he could do about it.
“Then I suppose this is goodbye.”
She doesn’t love him, not anymore.
If she had a dollar every time she repeated that same stupid lie to herself, maybe she’d be able to move out of the apartment that, even after so many nights, still felt like him. Maybe she’d even have enough money to move out of the godforsaken city that reminded her of him at every turn,
Even with him being thousands of miles away from her, she still couldn’t escape him. Occasionally, she’d hear the interns admiring everything about Ethan Freaking Ramsey. Just like that, all the tape, glue, and bandages that she tried to patch her heart together with fell apart and she was left to dwell on all the good times they once had.
She told herself that she’d get better. That one day she wouldn’t fall apart at the mere mention of his name. Who knows, maybe one day when he gets back she’d actually be able to hold an entire conversation with him.
Ethan wasn’t a mess like she was, even though she hoped he would be. From what she’d heard, he seemed to be handling the break-up well. The knowledge that he was fine when she wasn’t was another stab in the heart.
Maybe it was all a ruse, she’d hoped that he was putting up a front and was keeping his true feelings at bay with them, just like he had done to her.
But maybe those same friends told him that she was doing fine as well. On all accounts, she looked like she was doing fine. It was only when she locked herself away in her Ethan-free apartment that she could really be honest with herself.
If tissues filled her room, who would know? She was the only one who had to face the unmade bedsheets and piles of unfolded laundry. If anyone asked, she kept her room spotless.
And if she really asked herself, she didn’t love him anymore, she had gotten over him and was ready to go on and venture into the next chapter of her life.
But even she knew those were all lies.
#show this fic some love for being my first writing in like 4 months?#pls? reblog#share your thoughts#literally anything#I’m literally posting this the new chapter of OH2 comes out#open heart#pixelberry choices#choices#choices open heart#incorrect open heart#open heart incorrect quote#ethan ramsey#ethan jonah ramsey#choices ethan ramsey#ethan x mc#open heart book 2#one shot#open heart angst#angst#playchoices#pixelberry#open heart book 1#choices stories you play#open heart fanfic#open heart fanfiction#open heart fic#open heart fandom#open heart ethan#so enjoy my sleep deprivation#checkurwindow writes
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Personal thoughts on Open Heart Second Year, Chapter 20
Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week and what I’d like to see in the next chapters, because none of my friends play Choices so I have no one to comment the books with.
That’s a wrap! I can’t believe Book 2 is over. And just like everyone, I didn’t know how I felt about the final chapter of the book… until I started writing this… and I had a realization just as our MC did (of course, this led me to write this post from scratch like three times!). You know… it wasn’t brilliant, but it wasn’t a bad ending… I’d say it was pretty correct… and maybe even better than we think it was. Let me show you why:
At the very beginning, I had this kind of bittersweet feeling, just like everyone else. But then I replayed the chapter a few times to try different options and routes, and I started noticing that the writers made some amazing job paying attention to many of the little details we got to see throughout the book and finding a way to put them all into the final chapter. Everything was a lesson, everything made sense and everything almost everything got a closure… and that’s just some awesome writing, guys. Trust me, I had a long list of complaints, but by now, my only complaint is that the chapter was way too short.
Let’s begin with the main issue of this chapter: Leland Bloom and the check. I had the same question as the MC for a whole week. Why would the man give a billion dollar check to a second year resident? And with the sneak peek it kind of hit me: Leland not only was trying to buy Edenbrook, he was also trying to buy us… because for him, it’s always about money. I could even see our MC going through the same dilemma that Jackie faced with Panacea. And I have this gut feeling that what we decided to do with the check may have an impact in Book 3.
To be honest, at first I didn’t pay much attention to the scenes with Sienna, Aurora and Elijah. Even though I have to admit I missed Kyra on this set of dialogs, I was glad to see that the writers gave us some time alone with them and I loved how different their answers were. However, I saw them as some kind of filler content… like “oh, we need to add an extra conversation with our friends because it’s the final chapter”.
The same applies to our LIs. At first, I didn’t know if asking our LIs for advice was a good idea unless you’re romancing Ethan (based on the fact that he’s also our mentor and the only person who knows Leland Bloom as much as we do). I would have even added Naveen and Harper to this set of dialogs, as this was more a professional thing than a personal issue and they would have surely given our MC a great piece of advice (especially Naveen!).
But then, it hit me. This wasn’t just a set of random conversations. Instead, the writers made an amazing job mixing the storylines of every one of our friends and LIs with the conversation about the check and Leland Bloom, and that led to different realizations based on who you chose to talk to. That was simply brilliant and it reminded me why I love this series so much… nothing on these books is written at random. Everything has a purpose and sooner or later, it always clicks.
Based on the same premise, can we talk about how our story with Esme seemed to be coming full circle? No matter how your relationship with her ended (at least not yet), we finished our story with her right where we started: healing her wounds. However, there is something that is kind of bothering me. During our conversation, Esme told us that Leland had reached an agreement with Levi’s family, so the lawsuit wasn’t a problem anymore. And here we go again. We know that Leland isn’t the type of person who does things just to help people… and now I can’t help wondering if he may have found a new ally in Esme. Will she keep the secondary role she got in Book 2 or will she become a more important character in Book 3?
Another cycle that was closed during this chapter was Kyra’s. I’m so glad that she was finally declared cancer-free (can we just stop for a moment and give Bryce the credit he deserves for this? PB didn’t do it, so we should!), but it kind of shocked me to see her go and realize we won’t be seeing her in Book 3, especially because she is part of our gang now. Her departure really got me wondering if this is PB’s way to prepare us for the final goodbye in Book 3. I’m also wondering what the writers have planned for Rafael. After all he went through, I’d really like to see him back in Edenbrook… but not as a paramedic. I know he said he wouldn’t go back to hospital life, but after all the physical therapy he got, I think this would actually be a great job for him. He loves to help people (and that’s something he won’t get rid of easily because it’s his nature), he loves exercising and, at the same time, he needs to calm down and take life slowly. I don’t know about you guys, but after all the complaints to have him back, and now that he’s finally fine, I need to have him around!
As per the romance with our LIs, please don’t laugh at me, but I think PB decided to ground us all. For a whole book this fandom has been so focused on “fighting” over LIs, that I can imagine the OH writers saying something like “You know what? Enough! Let’s remind them who is in charge of the narrative here!”… and that’s how they fooled us all.
However, if you’re romancing Bryce, Ethan or Rafael (sorry Jackie stans, maybe it’s because of the path I read, but I don’t feel the same about that relationship), they certainly gave us all those “we’re in a real relationship” vibes at the party… and at the private party as well. By now, I think there are some things that go without saying, and even though we’re probably not getting the content we thought we would have, things look very official to me. Sometimes you just don’t need words, you need actions, and those three guys have shown our MC all their love through them. Every piece of advice, every conversation, every small detail, even in the sex scenes you may see there has been an evolution… and I’m not talking about how kinky things became, but about what’s behind it… you can definitely see two people who trust each other, who feel confident about what they have, and who look like people in love. But of course, they won’t say those three words yet. I’ve always felt like PB is very respectful of the timing (not only in OH, but in their books in general), so I wouldn’t imagine them saying “ILY” right now, especially because after all the ups and downs of the plot, things are just starting to take their final shape for Book 3. But if I go back to the final 30 diamond scenes in Book 1 and compare them to the ones we got in Book 2, Chapter 20, you can safely say the relationships with all three male LIs are at a whole new level now.
Finally, one of the things that worried us the most was the insane amount of subplots this book had. Did they manage to give closure to all of them? Let’s see:
Aurora Emery: For a whole book, Aurora felt like she was “the lesser Emery”. We went back to college with her and we got to know about her struggles to make friends. Finally, she found her own closure in Chapter 17, after having an amazing heart to heart conversation with her aunt. So yes, her subplot did have a closure.
Sienna Trinh: Our sweetheart spent two whole books involved in toxic relationships: first, with her boyfriend, and then, with Mitch, her intern. Even though she only recognized the toxicity of her second relationship, I’m glad that she’s finding peace after losing Danny and I’m hoping for her to have an awesome Book 3 just because she deserves it. But yes, her subplot did have a closure.
Elijah Greene: Our boy was the first character who made it safe to Book 3. He had some issues when trying to keep boundaries with Sothy, his intern, and it seems our choice to help him or not, actually had an impact on the relationship between them both and in Sothy’s performance as an intern. So yes, his subplot definitely did have a closure.
Jackie Varma: Her conflict with Panacea was fully addressed in the Vegas chapter. However, we still don’t know if having her name in the list of doctors who received money will have some long-term effect. Will this be a topic they’ll rekindle in Book 3? I have a gut feeling that this might be one of the subplots that was carried to Book 3. So no, I’d say her subplot didn’t have a closure.
Bryce Lahela: The Lahela siblings subplot was one of my favorites of Book 2. Keiki is an awesome teenager, and seeing Bryce growing so much as a character was a delight and it made me really proud. He sacrificed everything for his sister, to the point he even swallowed his pride and talked to his parents to ask for help. So I’m glad to say that yes, this subplot had its happy ending and found its proper closure.
Rafael Aveiro: Book 2 was a such a self-discovery journey for Rafael. As I said last week, I think he was a mess the whole book, and I don’t think this had to do with the writing, but actually with the fact that, before the incident, he was questioning his life and everything he loved (even his feelings for our MC). The incident not only was a “rebirth” for him, it gave him a whole new perspective on life and it challenged him through his recovery process. Did he find closure? I don’t think so. Only the incident had a closure, his existential problems still have a long way to go.
Ethan Ramsey: Ethan had two face not only one, but two conflicts. The first one was personal: not only his mom returned after abandoning him 25 years ago… he had to deal with the fact that she was an addict. So even though it seems like everything was solved after he left her at the rehab center, I don’t think this is the last time we’ll see Louise, as there are some things that were left like hanging (for example, who was she talking on the phone when we first met her?). So… did this subplot have a closure? Probably yes, but I’m not a 100% sure. Then we had his professional conflict: the money problems were never about the money, but about being loyal to Naveen’s mission. Was this solved? Absolutely yes! It only took him a conversation with Naveen to realize that he could carry his mission wherever he goes.
Esme Ortega: Esme probably got the worst part when it comes to subplots. She actually had two of them and I don’t think any of them was properly solved. The first one was the harassment she suffered when we first met her. The “closure” was treating the guy for a serious illness, talking to him and then leaving the incident behind… or diagnosing him with dementia so he had to quit his job? I mean… really? And then we have Levi’s case. Sure, everything was properly solved after Leland Bloom and Levi’s family reached an understanding and avoided the lawsuit… but we’ll never know if she actually did it, won’t we? Where is the “resident-intern” confidentiality we talked about in Chapter 7? Sorry, but this is a HUGE NO for me.
I know there are some things I might be missing now, but I’m actually saving them for a future post. As per Book 3, my bet is that we’ll be having a new release in February, just to keep in line with the releases of the first two books. Will Book 3 be the last one of the series? Honestly… I don’t know. I know the series is supposed to be about our three-year residency, but now I have some doubts. First of all, medical drama is a topic where you can constantly add new content without necessarily repeating the formula. Also, the fact that was mentioned that Bryce’s residency lasts 4 years instead of three is kind of giving me some hope of a fourth book. Finally, let’s face it: Open Heart and The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir are currently the most successful series for PB. And after seven books, it’s time for the TRR gang to take a break. Maybe it’s time for Open Heart to pick up the slack.
Our MC: Even though I don’t think our MC had a plot that needed to find closure, the book certainly left us some uncertainties about their story. And the most important one is the lack of PTSD after the incident. Well… let me tell you that maybe not everything is lost. I was so curious about it that I actually did some research. And guess what? There is something called “delayed-onset PTSD”. This form of PTSD appears at least six months after a traumatic event, and in some cases, it even takes years to appear. However, this does not mean that an affected person has no PTSD symptoms prior to this six months period. This would match exactly with our MC’s behavior after the incident. So now that our friends issues seem to be mostly solved… maybe it’s time for our MC to face their own problems?
#playchoices#choices stories you play#open heart#choices open heart#open heart choices#casey valentine#ethan ramsey#bryce lahela#rafael aveiro#jackie varma#elijah greene#aurora emery#sienna trinh#esme ortega#harper emery#naveen banerji#kyra santana#keiki lahela#leland bloom#edenbrook
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Just Have Faith
[Levi Schuler x Laura Day Masterlist]
Pairing: Levi Schuler x Laura Day [F!MC]
Book: Mother of the Year, Post-Chapter 10
Word Count: ~1,300
Rating/Warning: Teen (some language).
Prompts: @choicesmonthlychallenge "I've got this"; @choicesbookclub MOTY Replay ; @wackydrabbles 103 "Why did you say that" (in bold).
Synopsis: Following the events of Chapter 10, when Guy refuses to wake up Lily, Laura returns home frustrated and alone. She starts to believe Guy's declarations of winning custody. Levi is there to remind her not to give up. [Emotional Hurt/Comfort]
Before she knew it, Laura was back in front of the apartment building. The street around had quieted since she left a few hours earlier. Her feet moved instinctively forward, carrying her numbly toward the building; her eyes were filled with unshed tears. She found herself in the elevator, pressing the button for their floor, but when the doors reopened, she didn't have the strength to take those last few steps.
The doors closed again, and the elevator remained in place, waiting for another resident to call for its arrival. Her head fell back against the wall, and time ticked on. Her mind kept replaying all those moments that had torn her down since Guy's arrival. It was too much.
The elevator began to descend, dinging as the doors opened for whoever summoned it. Laura sniffled back her worries and shuffled to the corner, hoping to go unnoticed.
Levi strutted in, tossing his hair behind his shoulder. He pressed the button for their floor on his way in. He stopped short, noticing he wasn't alone. "Laura?"
She looked up, her gaze barely meeting his before falling.
His eyes widened as he took her in. He rested his hands on her arms, moving them slowly, trying to bring her comfort. "What's wrong?"
Her mouth opened to speak, but no words made themselves known. A heavy sigh slipped through her lips as she reached to cradle her face in her hands.
"Let me help you to your apartment," Levi offered when the elevator arrived at its destination once more.
"No—" Laura shook her head, her voice barely audible. "No. I can't—"
"Where's Rocket?" Levi questioned, noting her absence. His voice rose with concern. "Did something happen? Is Lily alright?"
"Guy happened," Laura scoffed. Her fingers ran beneath her eyes, collecting the tears that tried to escape.
Levi waited patiently, giving her time. He slowly stroked her back, letting her know she wasn't alone.
"He put Lily to bed an hour early so that he'd have an excuse as to why I couldn't pick her up. He wouldn't hear reason. He wouldn't wake her up. And just like that, he's stolen another night from me." Her words flowed more quickly now as she let out the pain. "What if this is it? Is every day going to be a fight with him until I lose or give up?"
Levi's eyes closed at the news. His jaw and fists clenched.
The elevator shifted downward again.
"Come with me," he asked gently as the doors opened again. Levi took her hand and guided her forward, leading them outside into the night. "Let's go for a walk."
Laura didn't protest; this was better than facing the empty apartment for the fourth straight night. The crisp autumn air was refreshing. She felt her body relax slightly with the cool breeze. "I hate him."
"I know." He offered her hand a reassuring squeeze.
"First, when we were together, he made me feel like crap. He got me to believe that all of our problems were my fault. Then, after four years of learning to accept myself again and doing my best to support Lily on my own, he shows up, flaunting his wealth and status." Laura shook her head in disgust. "Lily should've been home yesterday. Maybe, I"ll get her back tomorrow, but who knows. If I had kept her an additional 48 hours, I'd be held accountable, but, Guy? Never. He's bullying me with his money, and no one sees it."
"I see it." Levi brushed his thumb tenderly over her knuckles. "And if it would help, I'm more than happy to drive over there and deck him for you. Let's just get you an alibi first."
Laura laughed through her tears. "Don't tempt me." She leaned into him further. "I don't know what to do." The words slipped from her lips in desperation. "Who says tomorrow will be any different?"
He nodded in understanding, wishing more than anything that he could make it better for her.
"I'm—I'm trying my best. But it doesn't feel like it's enough." Her voice cracked at the admission. "Maybe, I'm not enough for her."
"Why did you say that?" Levi turned to face her. "Don't ever let him make you feel like that. What you and Lily have is special. It's more than he can even hope to comprehend."
"It's only just started, and it already feels hopeless—"
"It's never hopeless," Levi interrupted. "Isn't that what you told me the other day? That it wasn't too late for my career? That I should have faith that it will work out?"
"Maybe I was wrong." No longer able to hold them back, silent tears slid down her cheek.
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. "Laura, you're her mom. You've been there through the good and the bad. You've put her first in everything. Hell, you moved to a new town with no support just so she could go to a better school and one day achieve her dream. You're an incredible mom and woman. Anyone can see that. As long as you're still standing, as long as you are still fighting, there's no stopping you. Your love will get you through. There's always hope."
Laura wrapped her arms around him, letting the warmth of his embrace soothe her.
"Don't let him get to you. He's not worth it." He stroked her hair softly. "You've got this."
She nodded, taking a step back, trying to compose herself. She let his words settle over her. "I've got this."
"Don't ever let that piece of shit make you doubt yourself. He's not worth it. But you are." He cradled her face in his hands. "What you and Lily have is worth everything. Just have faith in yourself. It's going to be okay."
"Thank you—" she held her hand over his, keeping him there. Laura focused on the warmth of his palm against her cool cheek. A small smile turned at the corner of her lips as his adoring gaze met hers. "Thank you for being everything I've needed since moving here."
"I haven't done anything." His thumb brushed over her cheek. "You did."
"I mean it, Levi. You've been here for everything. You fixed my oven. You baked cookies with Lily and me. You've given me rides. You've babysat Lily (which is no small feat). You helped me get a job. You've been nothing less than a gentleman. You never cease to amaze me." She chewed her lip, watching his smile grow. "I don't know how I got to be so damn lucky."
"I'm the lucky one. You and Rocket have helped me too. In more ways than you know."
"Maybe you can tell me someday." Laura pressed a kiss to his palm.
"Maybe."
"Levi?"
"Yes?"
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You can kiss me now."
He exhaled a chuckle. "Don't mind if I do."
His lips captured hers immediately, not needing any further invitation. They were soft and warm, encouraging him deeper. The subtle taste of her now-dried tears lingered. He made it his mission to kiss ever drop away. Her tears were a reminder of the pain she had felt. He refused to let any memory of that remain. He peppered her face with the softest kisses. It was then that he realized there was nothing he wouldn't do for her. He had never felt like this before. He would move heaven and earth if it would prevent her from shedding another tear. He kissed his way back to her lips, deepening their embrace.
The sound of someone clearing their throat pulled them apart. "Some of us are trying to walk here." A grumpy, elderly man complained, pushing past them.
Laura cringed, hiding her face in her hands.
"Sorry, bro!" Levi called.
"Youth today," the man huffed, shaking his fist.
Her laughter filled the night air around them.
It was a beautiful melody. Levi smiled to himself, admiring her. It just might be his favorite sound.
Tags in a reblog
#Levi Schuler#Levi Schuler x MC#Levi x MC#MOTY#mother of the year#fan fiction#laura day#levi x laura#playchoices
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