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cosmos-coma · 4 months

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My Sun, My Star

A/N: I'm so weak for Winter soldier Bucky. I cant wait to write more of him, I love this sad guilt ridden man.

Pairing: Winter Soldier!Bucky x Reader

Words: 6756

Warnings: Breaking and entering, Minor violence, Injury and Blood, Winter soldier Bucky, GN reader but also Pregnant reader, mild language, I'm not sure if this is fluff or angst or both??

Summary: You wait up late for your boyfriend Bucky to return from his mission, but it isn't Bucky who finds you.

Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue | Bucky Masterlist

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Your eyes blinked slowly, heavier with each passing second, yet you still managed to open them once again. Glancing at the bright white numbers of the digital clock you watched it change to 1:46 AM, causing a groan to pull from your lips. Bucky was supposed to be back tonight (yesterday technically) from his latest mission, but he still had yet to show up at your shared flat.

You checked your phone again, the lack of notifications mocking your tired eyes. You let out one more sigh before you turned off the mindless babbling of the TV and stood up to get ready for bed. You were sure Bucky wouldn’t want you waiting up so late in your current condition anyway, he had been harping you about getting enough sleep and water and everything in between.

“I’m only four months pregnant, Bucky. I’m fully capable of staying up late” You had said to him.

“Five months, Doll, and it’s about your cortisol levels. It’s not good for you or the baby, and it could lead to them being underweight” he said, reciting exactly what the doctor had told him during your last checkup.

“Four and a half,” you argued as you stuck your tongue out at him, “and she was talking about getting chased by a bear kind of stress, not staying up to watch Bake Off.”

You snorted at the memory of just earlier that week, a small smile coming to your face as you went through your nightly routine. You continued to check your phone here and there as you went, “Did you get back safe? How’d your mission go?” you had texted two hours ago, yet it still remained unread and unanswered.

‘Maybe one more quick text wouldn’t hurt,’ you thought to yourself as you typed out the simple message and hit send.

“Stay safe, okay? I love you.”

You sighed as you set the phone down, “it’s okay, everything is okay,” you assured yourself as you pulled one of his large hoodies over your head, enjoying the way the hem brushed against your bare thighs and the sleeves threatened to swallow your hands. “He’s a former assassin and a super soldier! Nothing is going to happen that he can’t handle,” You stated firmly to your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes remained unsure despite your voice’s conviction, but you did your best to ignore it, focusing instead on the achingly tired look they held.

“Yes, I know. It’s finally time for bed, little one,” you mumbled sleepily as you felt your baby kick against the walls of your protruding belly, being quick to climb between the layers of blankets and lonesome sheets. “Fuck, that's cold…!” you swore quietly as your bare legs hit the icy fabric- having gone unwarmed by your personal space heater and super soldier.

Thankfully sleep came easily, the thought of waking up to Bucky’s sleepy, scruffy face only further urged your body to wind down so the moment would come sooner.

----

Bucky’s phone buzzed again in his bag, lighting up with your smiling face as your text displayed on the screen, but nobody reached down to check it, as everyone found themselves in a far more urgent situation.

“Keep him busy, Rodgers! I just need one more minute!” Tony yelled as he dug through the equipment in the quinjet, “For fuck’s sake, who organized this last?”

“What do you think I’m doing…!” The blond grunted with a justified hint of frustration,” Sam? Any help??” He shouted with a pointed look, telling more than asking as he struggled to restrain his thrashing friend. A swift metal fist flew toward his already battered face, barely giving him time to duck out of the way and attempt to restrain it again.

“Honestly? Seems like you’ve got this one,” Sam said, holding up his hands.

“SAM.”

“I’m coming..! God, can’t either of you old men take a joke?”

No one knew exactly what happened, Bucky had gone off on his own in the Hydra base they were exploring. It was supposed to have been recently abandoned, something about the agents leaving in an urgent rush that left files upon files sitting out in the open. It was supposed to be a simple mission; everyone goes off in teams, gathers what they can, and makes sure there are no surprises. But Bucky assured them that he would be fine to go on his own, he hadn’t had a sign of relapse in over a year, and he would only be picking up what looked important. A simple job.

He should’ve listened.

It was when he didn’t return to the jet with the rest of them that they started to get worried.

“So, where’s the Manchurian candidate?” Tony jested, looking at his watch. They were supposed to leave maybe 10 minutes ago, not terribly late by any means, but enough to start getting worried about Bucky’s quietness over the coms.

“Man, come on.. ” Sam sighed at Tony’s joke as he crossed his arms.

“Bucky?” Steve tried calling over the coms, ignoring both of his teammates, but the line remained all too quiet.

They found him finally in the basement level of the office building, old discarded computers lining the walls along with cabinets upon cabinets of old files and other equipment. He hadn’t even realized it was a trap until he stepped right into it, triggering a switch that had the computers and hidden speakers flashing images and sounds that assaulted his senses with fragmented memories long forgotten.

He should have listened.

Sam had found him first, on his knees in the middle of the floor with hands desperately covering his ears, trying to block out the incessant noise. Hauling his teammate to his feet, he rushed back to the jet, calling everyone off from their search before anything else could be sprung.

At first, they thought he might be fine- quiet, but fine. He had given them a small smile and a wave of his hand as everyone tried to check in with him, taking a seat as the jet took off to go home. It had all seemed relatively normal until they were halfway back and the unseen battle inside him must have taken a turn.

“Got it!” Tony yelled as he pulled out the dart gun, aiming quickly as he fired two shots into Bucky’s chest, readying a third as he waited and watched for the tranquilizers to finally take effect. It was slow as Bucky continued to struggle against the drug’s drain, his body and mind turning into slow-moving molasses. Low grunts emanated from his throat as the last of his strength ebbed away, leaving nothing but forced sleep in its wake.

“Was two really necessary?” Steve asked as his shoulders finally relaxed, the strain and worry now temporarily over.

Together they dragged the drugged-up assassin into the jet’s small quarantine area for the remainder of the trip, satisfied only when they heard the mechanical locks slide into place. It wasn’t much, and they knew that and if he really wanted to there would be no stopping him from getting out, but it was something- enough to give them a few seconds of preparation if nothing else.

“I’m not giving a super soldier only a single dose, you two metabolize things like this way too fast and I’m not taking any chances with the Tin man over there.”

Bucky- no, the Winter Soldier, seemed to still be out of it when they finally landed, sat up and leaning against the wall, head slumped forward just as they had left him.

“Alright, let's just get him into one of the holding rooms for the night. We’ll work on resetting him-” Tony lifted his hands as the two men glared in his direction, “- on ‘fixing him up’ as soon as he’s been secured.”

Sam shook his head as Tony corrected himself, taking notice of the lit-up phone in Bucky’s bag, buzzing with an only recently delivered message. Sam had quickly become one of your closest friends after you were introduced to the team. He was one of the few people Bucky trusted with his life and between his sarcastic jokes, his incredibly loyal nature, and his willingness to give Bucky shit whenever he deserved it, you knew very quickly how great a friend he would be.

But now his stomach twisted as he saw your name flash across the screen, the alert quickly minimizing itself as it joined the other messages you had sent that night. How was he gonna break this to you? The last thing you needed was a bunch of unnecessary stress on your shoulders, but it’s obvious you were beginning to worry over their late return. Sliding the phone back into its rightful place Sam told himself that he’d call you once they had things more figured out.

“Heart rate still seems to be resting. With any luck, he’ll remain knocked out until we get inside,” Tony relayed as he monitored the Soldier’s vitals and pressed the button to open the heavy quarantine doors.

The doors slid into their resting positions with a soft click.

As soon as that click landed on sensitive ears, vibrant blue eyes shot open. Sparing not even a second, the Winter Soldier surged forward from his seat, not nearly as far gone as he left them to believe. With the element of surprise, the Soldier easily knocked past his teammates, throwing his body weight against them and knocking Sam and Steve off balance, leaving him a good headstart as he dashed out the jet’s open door.

“Fuck, Bucky- Wait!,” Steve swore as he stumbled out behind him, having to use his super soldier speed just to keep pace. But between the settled darkness of the night, and the winding alleyways the brunette stuck to, Steve was left falling behind in no time. “Shit,” Steve swore as he slowed to a stop, looking around for any sign of his compromised friend.

However, the streets lay barren, the fluttering of moths in the streetlights the only sign of life on the entire block.

---

The heavy thud of his boots echoed against the alleyway’s pavement. He wasn't sure where exactly he was headed as his silhouette slunk between the warm light of the streetlamps, but part of him- a currently repressed part of him- knew that safety was bound to be just ahead.

His heart beat smoothly as he kept his pace, every other step falling in time as he rounded the corner. Blindly, he let himself be led by instinct and his feet maneuvered the city’s countless paths with a mind of their own. They slowed before a little apartment building and as those emotionless eyes looked up, he knew this was it.

The lateness of the hour had almost assured that no one was around as he slipped inside, footsteps padding up the stairs before stopping at the third floor. His heavy boots left nothing but wet prints in their wake as he wandered down the hall, impossibly silent, as even the notoriously creaky boards dared not announce his presence.

The closer he got, the more the back of his mind itched, as if something- someone- was begging him not to go any further, but he refused to listen; he knew this was where he was meant to be and where he would find what his body was so inexplicably drawn to.

With each step his head turned on a swivel, looking for the sense of safety and familiarity that the other half of him seemed to find here- and desperately wished he wouldn’t discover. Just as his foot was about to take another step he stopped. ‘No. Here.’ His gut told him, turning to the door.

His door.

Your door.

The former assassin bypassed the lock with ease, quickly slipping in before shutting the door behind him. A dim light illuminated the living room, the little lamp you left on for him casting its orange glow over his surroundings as he surveyed them.

A few mugs stand beside the sink, framed photos dot the wall and side tables, and a veritable nest of blankets lay across the couch. It was obvious someone had been here, and recently. A deep breath pulled into his lungs, causing his head to tilt to the side in contemplation as an unfamiliar scent hit his nose, something just as earthy as it was sweet and speckled with distant notes of… him?

“Hmmph”

His sensitive ears picked up the soft grunt from down the hall immediately. His shoulders squared and tensed as his body leaned into a defensive position. Cautious fingers pulled the knife from his boot, ready for whatever may come at him as he approached.

The sounds of soft breaths lead him to a door left ajar. Light just slipped past the curtains into the darkened room. Badum… Badum… Badum… a heartbeat pulsed in his ears as he took a step closer, leaving the door open and letting further light fall onto the source of the noise.

His wolfish gaze ran down your form as you lay there on your back, swallowed in the extra fabric of the old sweatshirt. Your hand rested casually over your stomach as your other one squished gently against your cheek. Your legs lay bare to the world after having kicked the overbearing sheets away, leaving just a glance of your underwear for him to take in.

“Mmph” You grunted again as you shifted, your face now turned to him as that earthy scent of yours gripped him like a vice and refused to let go.

Your sweet sleep became interrupted though- much to his dismay- as the phone on your nightstand began to light up and buzz incessantly. Still, as a statue he watched as you groaned, propping yourself up on your elbows as you went to check what your device could possibly want at this ungodly hour.

With one loose fist, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes away, blinking consciousness back into them until you saw Bucky’s illuminated figure before you, standing tall and quiet as he watched you intently.

“Bucky..?” You couldn’t hide the grin that spread across your face as you saw the familiar face of your lover lit up by the bright light of your phone screen. But the longer you looked the more you noticed.

His eyes were all wrong, his gaze was devoid, that’s the only way you could put it. Devoid of meaning and humanity, it seemed every gaze- every movement- was a means to an end. Empty… save for a flicker of fear; It was probably the only thing in those eyes right now that registered as human. The fear of someone who was lost, unknowing of their purpose, and confused as to why your gaze was made his cold heart falter.

His expression was flat and stoic, save for the knit of confusion that pulled his brows together. His stance was tense and prepared, the discrete knife still glittering in his hands as he took another step forward, his head slowly shaking in response to your question.

A gasp caught in your throat as you finally understood. Glancing at your phone you saw it was Sam who was calling, undoubtedly trying to tell you what you now already knew.

“Soldat…” You whispered, trying to hide the way his name sent shivers across your skin. Your phone went black then, as you didn’t pick up in time and you were left blind by the sudden darkness.

You and Bucky had talked about what to do if you found him like this, “You call Sam and Steve, Okay? You find a place to hide and you stay far away, no matter what you hear. There’s no reasoning with him,” He had told you.

So much for that

Your phone lit up again with Sam’s urgent call, its revealing light sending ice down your spine as you saw the man nearly standing over you now, just a hair’s breadth away.

Your hand rose slowly, shaking as you tested a reach for your phone, stopping dead in your tracks as he let out a disapproving grunt. Your head nodded slowly as you gulped, returning your hand to your stomach as you watched his gaze finally shift away.

With unbothered calmness, he looked toward your phone to see Sam’s face and name scrawled across your screen. Wordlessly he reached over and pressed the ‘decline call’ button, cutting the call short and leaving you two in perfect silence once more.

Panic began to rise in your throat as his gaze turned back toward you, darkened now only by the lack of light. With slow movements the Winter Soldier reached out, putting the knife away as he crouched down, as if trying to attract a skittish animal.

Your whole body tensed as his reach came closer, eyes screwing shut as you waited for the worst, “Please… Just don’t hurt her…” You whispered, fear and desperation rattling your voice, just as it did your anxiety-filled body.

But the pain never came. Instead, the cool touch of metal fingers ran down your cheek, barely denting your flesh as he relished in its softness. Your eyes peeked open cautiously, as his fingers moved along the slope of your jaw, tilting your head up as he came to your chin.

His eyes had changed, you noticed, instead of being a harsh blizzard, they had now settled into something more human, something warmer and… yearning?

“Soldat..?” You questioned as you watched his lips part, his senses focused only on the way your body reacted to his touch. You were sure he could hear the rapid pattering of your heart beneath your ribs, its pace only increasing as his fingers moved down your neck and to the exposed collarbone in your loose neckline.

“Красивый [Beautiful]...,” was all he could reply. It came out so soft you weren’t sure you heard it at first, it’s quiet reverence meant for your ears and your ears only. “Из-за тебя он чувствует себя здесь в безопасности...? Замки дерьмовые, видимость слишком высокая, но ты… [Are you why he feels safe here…? The locks are shit, the visibility is too high, but you…]” He continued, quiet and unbothered as if he assumed you couldn’t understand him.

“He’s been bugging me to get better locks all week…” you replied with a huff, quickly shutting up as his stare found your eyes again. Between Bucky’s ramblings in the night and Natasha’s tendency to only gossip in Russian, you had made an effort to learn it; You were still learning, and your pronunciation was shit, but your understanding had gotten far better.

“And you have a good ear…” He spoke in English this time, the vague hint of an amused smile pulling at the assassin’s stern lips. You couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever done that before. If that odd little smile had been seen by anyone else- anyone still living that is.

A breath of relief left you as your lips stretched to mimic his, the tension easing out of your body a little by little.

His metallic touch continued to linger, running down your covered chest until it settled on the waistband of your underwear, the cool metal trailing across your ticklish skin.

“Ah, wait, Sol-” You jumped at his touch, grabbing his wrist, despite knowing you wouldn’t have the strength to stop him if it’s what he wanted.

But instead of dipping his fingers lower, he simply tugged the oversized hoodie up, gathering it over your chest and exposing the firm baby bump concealed below. His head tilted to the side as he listened to the tiny heartbeat that fluttered in your belly as well as the thuds of its little movements against your skin. Slowly, still with that inkling of a smile, he turned to look at you, his hand hovering just above your vulnerable midsection as if awaiting permission.

Heat rose to your cheeks as you hesitated. On one hand, you felt a surprising amount of calm under the assassin's touch, his need for your approval only increasing your sense of security. But on the other hand, Bucky would never be able to live with himself if something happened to you or the baby, accident or not.

“Oh. I-”

CRASH.

You nearly jumped out of your skin as were cut short by the loud noise. The door to your apartment slammed open, surely breaking the hinges with the sheer force of it. Over a dozen heavy boots stormed into your apartment as the lights turned on, flooding your senses and forcing the Soldier’s attention elsewhere.

Your hand found his instantly, the heat of his calloused skin a comfort to you just the way Bucky’s was, especially as it squeezed around yours just the same. Sitting up properly now your sweatshirt swallowed your pregnant form once again and you peeked out to see just what was going on.

Through The Winter Soldier’s defensive stance in front of you, his knife is now drawn once more, you watched a small armed group, covered in black tactical gear raid your home, all guns pointing towards you- or more accurately- the former assassin attempting to shield you. You recognized the symbols on their vests as the team’s secondary security force, having even met a few of them over the years. But where was the rest of the team? Where was Sam, and Steve, and Tony?

“Step away from the civilian!” “Put your hands in the air!” “Sir, drop the knife!” They all shouted, overlapping with each other as each of them rushed out their demands.

“Don't shoot! It’s okay! It’s okay!” You rushed.

You tried to slip your hand from his, but he only held fast, “Soldat, please… It’s okay, just do what they say… They don’t want to hurt us. Please,” You urged, giving his hand a gentle squeeze,

His defenses faltered as he listened to you beg him to stand down. It wasn’t the usual begging he heard in his line of work, and coming from your lips had his walls cracking in an unprecedented way.

He shouldn’t have looked back at your eyes, wide and pleading, as they shook his walls further. Moving slowly he turned, kneeling before you despite the way the armed group yelled at him not to. You just held up your hand to them, pleading for them to be as gentle with him as he was with you.

“Мое солнце [My Sun]...” The warm flesh of his hand came up easily to cradle your face and a small smile pulled at him again as you leaned into his large palm. “Я только что нашел тебя. Я не потеряю тебя снова так быстро[I’ve only just found you. I will not lose you again so quickly]. ”

Your heart both swelled and pained for your Soldier. You looked into his eyes and saw a sense of certainty, a sense of knowing, you hadn’t seen from him earlier. “Oh… my soldier, my star,” Your fingers entwined with the hand holding your cheek, ”You can not lose me in any way that would last…” You whispered to him past the shouts, the commotion, and the tension, like you were the only two in the room.

“Sir, put the knife down!” A young squad member called again, his voice far more concerned than his superiors. You didn’t recognize him or his number and you figured he must’ve been new. His gun trembled in his hands as he shouted again, but as the Soldier failed to move and the kid’s finger unexpectedly twitched, there came a sudden-

BANG.

“Ah-!” Your face twisted with pain as you pulled away, “Fuck…!” Your hands instinctively grabbed your leg, clamping over the shooting pain in your calf that hit you- well- like a bullet.

You winced again as you pulled one of your hands back, the raw skin of your leg angrily letting you know that it did not like being brushed against. Warm, wet crimson covered your fingers as you looked down, becoming slightly dizzy at how much had already covered your palm. You were thankful it only seemed to be a graze, but the burn you already felt and knowing you were losing blood had your stomach lurching in uncomfortable ways.

Concern painted the assassin’s expression as you recoiled away from his doting touch, but as the unmistakable warm, metallic smell curled into his nose, his expression darkened dramatically. What was once kind, curious blue eyes now saw nothing but red as he caught sight of the wound slashing across your skin. His jaw set firmly, almost audibly grinding his teeth as he stood and turned to the young kid.

You looked back at the newcomer as you tried to breathe through the pain, the horrified look on his face telling you that he knew he was a dead man walking. His face went ghost white as the super soldier stalked toward him and through even worse trembling hands he raised his gun to shoot again.

“No…!”

A sickening thud rang out as the bullet hit the assassin square in his good shoulder, getting lodged in the muscly flesh. His shoulder jerked back at the force, but it wouldn’t stop his stride as he closed the gap. Another shot rang out, but with the solid vibranium arm now covering the barrel it did little to help this poor dumb kid. Snatching him by the neck, you watched as your assassin held him up until his feet kicked uselessly in the air.

Every gun immediately trained on him and with their proximity you knew they wouldn’t miss a fatal shot if it came to it.

“Stop! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! Soldier, put him down!” You yelled as you maneuvered towards the edge of the bed. “Please, don't shoot, I can fix this!” you continued, trying to convince yourself as much as you convinced them. Familiar voices joined in on your plea as Sam and Steve finally entered the picture, urgently trying to talk down both the Winter Soldier and the secondary security team.

“Bucky, It’s okay... Just put the kid down, alright?” Steve tried to reason with him, “He’s new, he doesn’t know what he’s doing yet.” Steve tried his best to stay calm and patient, but the young man was beginning to change colors now. “Bucky, put him down before you do something you can’t come back from.” But Bucky’s ears were deaf to the outside pleas and the Winter soldier refused to listen.

“Ah..!” You whimpered as you tried to stand and approach the commotion. The pain in your leg reached new heights as you tried to put weight on it, causing you to tumble to your knees almost immediately. You clutched your belly, hoping the sudden jostle wouldn’t upset the baby too much as you tried to get up again.

“Hold on, Y/n. Stay down for a minute so we can wrap your leg…” Sam asked of you, moving over to help as soon as he saw the blood on your hands, “You’re losing plenty already.”

“No, I have to…. I can’t let him get hurt,” you argued, pushing away his helpful hands as you tried to stand again. You heard the crashing thud and rushed voices as you shakily got to your feet, leaning all your weight on your good leg. As you looked up again you came eye to eye with worry-filled icy blues.

“Sol-”

“Мое солнце [My Sun]...” He interrupted, his metal arm snaking around your waist to pull you in possessively and away from those who threatened your safety. On the other side of the room, the nervous kid now coughed and wheezed for breath, but you were just happy to see he was still alive.

“Please just listen to them. You’re already hurt, don’t get yourself killed…” you pleaded, your hand barely brushing over his bleeding wound before pulling his hand to your rounded belly. He tried to keep his expression steady, but you saw the way his eyes widened slightly as he looked down. “She needs someone looking out for her and I can’t do this on my own. I can’t keep away all the dangers of the world…” Your forehead rested against his as you tried to shift your weight, whining as you gave up and moved back. You couldn’t deny that this part of Bucky was her father too, even if he had been hidden away for ages, she was still his too. Whether Bucky would see it the same way you weren’t sure, but right now you were just concerned with making sure he got out of this alive.

“I can’t do this without you…”

The silence felt deafening as he considered. He never had to think about other people relying on him, not like this. His orders had always been to leave no threats, to finish his job and move on, no matter the cost to him. But the pain in his soft, fleshy shoulder was getting harder to ignore. The way his blood-soaked shirt clung to his arm now climbed to the forefront of his mind as he watched your big eyes stare back at him, desperate to understand. He was between a rock and a hard place.

“I’ll be right beside you the whole time..” You assured him, “We both will, but please let everyone get us some help.”

A gentle nudge pushed against his palm as his thoughts swirled around him, snapping him back to a single line of thought and he knew then. Defeat laid heavy on his shoulders as they slumped, accepting what must be done., “Мое солнц [My Sun] …”, He said, “Если вы так хотите, то я не буду жаловаться [If it is what you wish, then I will not complain].”

You couldn’t tell just how long you had been holding the breath you let out, your muscles relaxing as he finally held his hands up. The security squad began coming forward with an array of cuffs, but it was Sam who stopped them this time, glancing back at you for confirmation as he assured them that they could take it from here. Despite the arguing and the hesitation, they seemed to relent, shifting their focus now to their injured colleague.

Both Sam and Steve looked tired but relieved as they turned to the two of you, bloody and pained in your current state. Though they weren’t quite better; both of them looked like they had been the unfortunate punching bag of a certain super soldier mere hours before. Sam had bruises lining his arms from where he was surely blocking blow after blow and Steve smiled a bit with his busted lip, dried blood still stuck in the corner of his mouth.

“Let’s get you two to the tower…”

----

The journey to the tower was quiet, your soldier never letting you out of arms reach as you all boarded the armored truck, and made your way up the tower and to the lab.

Doctors tried to treat the both of you, but as soon as anyone dared to come close your assassin was right there to growl them back. They’d hardly be able to get past his possessive hands even if they could manage to get close, his touch keeping you pulled beside him at all times.

“Soldat…” you warned him, but he was too preoccupied gathering the medical bag they had been dropped. Coming over to you, there was no warning as he scooped you up from the ground and set you on a table to get to work.

“Oh-!” You exclaimed as you held onto his strong shoulder, quickly getting plopped back down on the corner of the cold metal table. A shiver ran down your skin as you shifted against the sleek table, watching as practiced hands scoured through the medical bag, producing everything he needed as he went about fixing up your leg wordlessly.

You were beyond thankful for the haze of the (baby-safe) painkillers as his fingers slid over the raw flesh. Despite the gentle numbing of the painkiller your fingers still lay tangled in his hair as he worked, only tugging in discomfort as the gauze wrapped tightly around your leg.

"Thank you..” You said when he finally finished, moving back to appreciate his work before giving it a satisfactory nod. His eyes had grown distant again, bits of confusion and uncertainty swirling in the storm of his eyes, and you reached out to stroke your thumb across his cheek. His stony cool expression remained as you touched him, his mouth staying a firm line as he instinctively leaned into your palm. You watched him for a moment before you continued, knowing that his thoughts must be far away.

“It's your turn now, big guy.... your shoulder is still seeping and you can’t keep losing blood like this," You urged him just as you had on the ride to the tower. He had refused to listen then, letting nothing else occupy his mind until he knew you were fully taken care of. But now as you sit safely before him, the only looming threats being Sam and Steve who seem to haunt the hallway outside, he finally relented.

You moved to stand, needing the angle to effectively dig out the bullet still lodged in his muscles, but he held you still with a single large hand on your shoulder, "Stay," he urged you with that low rumble of his. His eyes lingered on yours, ensuring you would do as he asked before he began to move again, gathering the supplies you would need.

He slid his bloody shirt off, revealing the weeping wound beneath and the scars of many wounds past. You expected him to stand in front of you, maybe sit so you could take care of him, but that didn’t seem to be the important thing right now.

He climbed up onto the cold table where you sat, curling onto his side with his back facing the door so his wounded shoulder sat closest to you. His head lay in your lap with a look of unmatched serenity as he pressed his forehead against your rounded belly. And there he rested, quiet and unmoving as he took his quiet moment. But he was far too exposed like this, far too trusting of “threats” lurking outside, and he almost reminded you of Bucky again. Was Bucky fighting to come back…? Was the Winter Soldier trusting you to watch his back? … or was he accepting of something you weren't sure he knew yet?

"Are you sure? It's going to be harder to take the bullet out this way. I don’t want to hurt you more than I have to," you tried to explain as you pulled out the forceps.

But he simply shook his head, "I know my time here is short, my Sun..." he said with an even tone, no semblance of fear to shake his voice, "Please let me enjoy it like this…."

Your voice caught in your throat as he answered, his blunt acceptance and knowing catching you off guard. You wished beyond anything that you could soothe him, to tell him no one was going to hurt him or take him away again. But you wouldn’t lie to him, so instead you said nothing, Your words rasping as you replied, "Of course, My star…."

The room was quiet as you worked, the only noise the sweet mumblings from your boyfriend's lips as he filled your baby’s ears with loving promises. His body let out a grunt and a soft squelch as you finally tugged the crushed bullet out. Pain creased his brow but his words never faltered and neither did the nudges or kicks he got in reply.

Carefully you cleaned up the blood, packing the wound as best you could, but you were sure Tony and his team would be redoing it soon nonetheless.

A sigh escaped him as he heard you putting away your tools, "My Sun?" he asked.

"Yes?"

“Is it time…?”

You cast your eyes downward, looking into those confused and swirling blues as they watched you with unbridled hope.

You nodded, wiping away the tears that welled in your eyes, “It’s time…” you whispered.

He nodded, thinking quietly as he looked down at your belly again, his hand smoothing over the skin he’s exposed, “Will I see you two again…?”

Your heart broke at the slight waver in his voice, “Oh, my star…” you said, resting your palm against his cheek, “It’s just like I said, ‘you can not lose me in any way that would last’. I’ll see you again and again, in this life and the next,” you assured as you leaned down to kiss his temple, a small smile forming at the corners of his lips. Tears blinked from your eyes as you continued, “I don’t know when, or for how long, but you will see us again. You can always come home to me, and I will always be there to welcome you.” You leaned, slow as not to scare him, and kissed him gently as he turned again to look at you.

It was awkward at first, but you didn’t mind, you couldn’t imagine the last time the Winter Soldier had felt such gentleness, let alone a kiss.

But the moment was ripped away as the door opened, Steve, Sam, and Tony all standing in the doorway. “We’re ready for him,” Tony said simply, “Let's get this started so my lab techs can go home….”

-----

You watched behind thick glass as Tony and his team of technicians attached various wires and machinery to Bucky’s body. Sam and Steve’s hands lie on your shoulders, trying to comfort you as you watch them finish tuning and placing everything. You watched as his blue eyes stared vacantly at the ceiling, as still as a statue as he let them do their work.

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to watch this…” Steve tried to comfort you, but you only shook your head.

“No… I promised I’d see him off,” you replied, then thought with a pause, “Despite all the warnings Bucky gave me I’m happy I got to see him face to face…”

“Well, it helps that he wasn’t trying to beat the shit out of you…” Sam mumbled, getting an immediate nudge from you right in one of his bruises, “ Ow…okay, point taken.”

You smiled and shook your head. It was true though; despite the fear, blood, and death that dripped from his moniker, despite the pain you endured in his presence, you would do it all again. Bucky had hidden this part of him from you for so long, only ever showing you half of his face. And though you know he wouldn’t like it, you’re happy to finally see him in full light- to know and love him completely as he’s meant to be.

Tony says something that’s hard to make out through the glass, but you see him give a thumbs up to you all so he must have been ready. He moved to the switch, hesitating for a moment to let you say a quick goodbye.

Your Soldier’s eyes found yours right away, but there was no trace of sorrow for you to see, no discomfort or fear. In fact, he seemed almost excited; excited and hopeful that when he saw you next he’d have a bundle of joy to look forward to as well.

“Мое солнце [My Sun]...” you watched him say beyond the glass.

“I’ll see you again, My stars. I’m sure of it…” You replied with a soft smile.

He had just enough time to smile softly back at you, an image now pleasantly etched in your brain before Tony flipped the switch and the reset procedure began.

You covered your eyes quickly as Bucky’s body began to convulse, his strained grunts and shouts breaching containment despite the way he tried to hold it all back. The sounds of pain continued for minutes, but it felt far longer. Though, it wasn’t until it got quiet that you began to worry.

“Is it done? Is it over...?” You asked the men on either side of you, afraid to peek past your hands for fear of the worst.

“Doll…?” you heard the familiar voice call, gritty and rough from its recent use but still carrying that same soft tone he used with you.

Your heart swelled, “Bucky...?”

_____________

Taglist: @writingmysanity @simpxinnie (sorry I forgot to tag!)

It's been a while since I've written for our favorite sad man, so if I've missed you/you want to be added to the taglist, DM me to let me know!

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frogchiro · 8 months

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OK so I'm totally backpacking off of some other ask about ovulating y/n and octo!König, but hear me out.

Butcher-Slasher!Ghost has a very strong sense of smell and he picked up a small whiff of y/n ovulating as she's getting her monthly supply meat from his butcher shop. Home boy had to root himself to his spot or he would've jumped over the counter to breed y/n in the middle of his store in broad daylight at the busiest time of the week.

We all know Ghost only has two thoughts on his head and it's to breed y/n and to protect y/n. Ghost over here with 2 brain cells and both revolve around y/n 😂😂 Like a lost fucking puppy without y/n to hold his. hand.

And now we're getting to this baby ;; I was rereading this the whole day and I won't lie, my ovaries did a flip ;;

Butcher!Ghost who has a very keen nose and while he obviously knew and loved how you smell, so warm and soft, today you smelled...a little bit off. Obviously you didn't stink or anything! But,, somehow you smelled a little warmer, more sweet and cloying and Simon swears he almost jumped you right there in the middle of the day in his own shop with people present when he realized what it was- you were ovulating.

It was like a flip of a switch and suddenly every single primal instinct in him started basically roaring for him to take you, shove his thick lengthy cock inside you and empty his heavy pulsing balls deep inside you, his swollen red tip right against your precious cervix and making sure his seed sticks. And it would, it fucking surely would, especially now with your soft body basically screaming that you're ready to breed with him :((

Instead you just smiled at him all sweet and polite like you always do and asked him if he liked the cherry crumble cake you gifted him last week after he left you some particularly good cuts of meat and he, like always, replied in that gravely tone of his that of course it was good because it always is; you're an amazing cook and even better baker, his thoughts returning for a second back into his fantasies about you, all heavy and swollen with his offspring, in a pretty loose dress with an apron tied around your swollen waist as you bake a cake for him, the domesticity of it almost making him hard under his bloodied white apron.

And, like fucking always, you give him another sweet smile of yours before you bid him your goodbye and walk out of the shop to run further errands. Ohhh if you only knew what you do to him, especially in your current state. Later that night Simon was in his rickety old bed in the small apartment above his shop, jerking off like he was in heat, all growly and frustrated and angry :(( He thrusted his strong, broad hips upwards, chasing the feeling of his tightly closed fist, his potent thick sperm leaking out of his tip like a faucet, the remains of two orgasms were cooling on his hairy belly and chest and yet his balls were still heavy and aching, his thick cock pulsing with the need to be shoved inside your cunt but all he had was his fantasy of breeding you all night with a pillow shoved under your broad hips to ensure his seed would stick </3

#kin speaks #asks #interactions #butcher!ghost #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley cod #cod mw x reader #cod x reader

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chosopie · 2 months

Note

y/n will slowly grow to love Conqueror Sukana. Just as long as Yuji keeps his title and is happy and safe

PART 3, CONQUERER - RYOMEN SUKUNA

SUMMARY: It has been weeks since the day of your grand wedding. Sukuna agreed to give your brother Yuji his share of power. Ever since then, you have been spending more time with him, soon growing to enjoy his company.

cw: fluff, you and Sukuna becoming softies

: ̗̀➛ part 2

"You will make sure Yuji gets his title. He's my brother, my blood. I will see to it that he will have access to privileges and resources of this kingdom," You sternly ordered, your eyes intensely staring at your husband Sukuna.

"Damn, do you talk a lot, woman. It's only been a couple weeks and you're starting to nag like an old wife," Sukuna groaned.

"My wishes must be fulfilled," you narrowed your eyes at him.

"And what will you do if they aren't, princess?" He arrogantly smiled at you, amusement glinting from his eyes.

"I’m not a princess. I am the queen and I could send you into exile."

Sukuna laughed at you. "How bold of you. You can't do that."

"You forget that my people are loyal to me, the true blood of this kingdom."

"You forget that I single-handedly killed your pathetic man and his army," He looms over you, his chest right in front of your face.

"Only, because I allowed it. I needed someone more capable like you," You admitted, trying to hold together what remained of your pride while commending your husband. When he smirked in response, you instantly regretted letting those words leave your mouth. To your dismay, that surely fed Sukuna's large ego, keeping it full and satisfied.

"That's all you had to say, brat,” He beamed. “You have my word. The little rascal gets what he needs and I'll protect him." Sukuna reaches over your head, ruffling the hair you had just tidied up.

“Hey!” You groaned, your hands patting and combing your hair in an attempt to return it to its previous state. Sukuna and his ego was a handful, but you knew deep down there had to be a soft spot beneath all that pride and cockiness. You were determined to crack that shell and see what’s really in his heart.

When the sun had set, the dinner table had been set up by your handmaidens. There was a large variety of food all over the table. Yuji sat beside you with a big smile on his face and his eyes lovingly staring at the food.

“Yuji, keep staring like that and you might just marry the food,” you snickered.

Yuji gave you an unamused look, “Come on! I’m just hungry. It’s been a while since we’ve had steak.”

“A while?” You quirked an eyebrow up. “We have steak every week.”

“Just let me be hungry!” He whined. “Where’s your husband? I’m gonna starve to death.”

“Your king is here,” Sukuna loudly said from the other side of the room. He wore a big fur coat over his wide figure.

Hearing his loud and obnoxious voice, you roll your eyes, but you were going to test and prod at him tonight. Beneath all those muscles and ego, there has to be something else in there, right? We can’t pretend forever.

“Pass me the salt, hun,” you point towards the small shaker across the table. Sukuna raised his eyebrow, questioning your behavior; nevertheless, he complied with your request.

Yuji stared at the two of you with confusion. What was with the nicknames all of a sudden? Have you been taking something weird? This was not the big sister he knew. Perhaps you’ve gone soft. “As long as she’s happy,” Yuji thought. After having Sukuna around the house for a couple of week, he didn’t seem so bad after all, just a little obnoxious and boastful. He never raised a hand at you nor did he yell at you just because he wasn’t in a good mood. He seemed to care.

When all of you had finished eating, Yuji returned to his quarters while you and Sukuna headed to yours. Sukuna immediately threw himself onto the bed and made himself comfortable under the thick duvet.

“I’m gonna shower,” you told Sukuna. He simply nodded in response.

You stepped into the shower and twisted the small knob, allowing the warm water to rain on your skin. Closing your eyes, you thought about how Sukuna had been ever since he came around. Most of the time, you two would clash over your different ideologies or even the simplest things like food or how you ate the cake he had been waiting all day to eat. Despite all that, he respected you and treated you well. He would buy you dresses and jewelry, making sure you were clad in the prettiest things out there. You let out a sigh in relief as the warm water began to relax your body. You grabbed your most fragrant soap and made sure to scrub yourself clean. Once you were finished, you wiped yourself dry with a towel, then slipped into a pink nightgown that sort of matched his hair.

You walked into the room, Sukuna’s eyes immediately landing on you. “What’re you doing?” You ask while you made your way to the bed to sit beside him.

“Reading,” he mumbled, his eyes now fixed on the small book in hand.

“Is that a history book?” Your eyes widened in disbelief. “Aw, do you care about me and my country that much?”

“Fuck off. I’m reading this so I know how to take advantage of the shit you guys have,” Sukuna huffed in annoyance.

“I love you too, Sukuna,” you tested those words. Those three damn words. They felt foreign in your mouth.

Sukuna tensed up, his face looking stiff as ever. He hesitantly turned to look at you and got up. Now, you were scared. He inched closer and closer to you, his body towering over you as usual. You couldn’t read his expression and it made your nerves jitter. He reached his hand out to hold your head, and you thought he was going to ruffle your hair like he always did, but no. It was something different which shocked you. He pulled your head in and gently kissed you on the forehead.

“I love you,” he softly said.

You looked at him with wide eyes, your cheeks red from the intimate gesture. Was he serious? Your heart was beating so hard you could feel it in your ears. The room suddenly felt hotter than usual. There was a strange warm feeling that swelled in your beating chest. A bold idea crossed your mind, and you let your body move on its own, your arms reaching out to him for an embrace. You slowly snaked your arms around his torso and rested your head in the crook of his neck.

This isn’t so bad. You’ve fallen for him.

“I love you,” you whispered into his ear before pecking his cheek.

#rev.writes #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x y/n #ryomen sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jjk sukuna #jjk fluff #fluff #sukuna fluff

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holllandtrash · 1 year

Text

the people's princess | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x princess!reader (selin yagcioglu faceclaim)

everyone thought charles was the princess of monaco but when the real one comes out hiding and slowly inserts herself into the world of f1, suddenly 2 princesses don't seem so bad i know very little about royalty and monarchs so uhh dont come for me

princessyn.updates

liked by dailyceleb, monaco.daily and 25,91 others

princessyn.updates meet the 22-year-old Princess, who is set to be Monaco's first female monarch since the 17th century. Y/N has kept out of the spotlight for much of her youth as she focused on academics until recently where it is announced she attended Collège Alpin Beau Soleil in Switzerland and Kings College of London

view all 612 comments

genzprincesses where the hell has she been hiding

userjanessa this is now a y/n fan account

perceval_lordsharl this is a lie, charles leclerc is the TRUE princess of monaco

monacomonarchynews

liked by monaco.daily, princessyn.updates and 18,103 others

monacomonarchynews The 23-year-old Princess, Y/N is the only child of Albert II, Prince of Monaco. Y/N has studied abroad in the United States, Sweden and in Dubai up until recently. She has now returned to Monaco and has shifted her studies to the Monarchy.

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userjanessa this is conflicting information

ynismommy hello didn't another account say shes 22 and studied in switzerland and london?? what is the truth

allthefandoms so no one knows anything about her is what it seems like

fantasy_leagues_lewis kinda sus...charles would never

driverupdates

liked by carlossleclerc, paddocklewis and 17,204 others

driverupdates charles leclerc seen back in monaco following the australian grand prix!

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hunnyseb he's calling fred and putting in his 2 weeks after the chaos that was sunday

sharls16 hes angry but he's pretty

pole.positions he needs this break more than any other driver lmaaao

yn.ofmonaco

liked by daily.celeb, ynfanclub and 19,182 others

yn.ofmonaco happy to be home

view all 2,104 comments

ynfanclub she is the moment

userjanessa i've been WAITING for her first post and the princess did not dissapoint

sharls16 maybe charles will be in a better mood once he meets the literal princess of monaco

happyhamilton ??? are they. .. supposed to meet? sharls16 i mean, why wouldn't they? he's f1 royalty and she's ROYALTY royalty both from monaco lestappen i would pay so much money to see them together r u kidding

princessyn.updates

liked by ynismommy, monaco.daily and 24,192 others

princessyn.updates Y/N has just arrived at the Fondation Prince Albert II de Monaco Gala ! This is the first public event she has attended but we hope to see more of her as she settles into life as a Royal in Monaco

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ynismommy okay i luv her

yellowferrari wait didn't charles go to this thing last year?? what if he's here this year too 👀👀

charschumick ARE WE GONNA GET A ROYAL ON ROYAL MEET UP FINALLY

yn.ofmonaco

liked by lewishamilton, princessyn.updates and 46,102 others

yn.ofmonaco so happy to have been able to attend the Fondation Prince Albert II de Monaco gala tonight, as a girl i was always so inspired by my father and what he has given back to this country. I can't wait to have a bigger role in this organisation moving forward ♡

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ynismommy oh shes smart kind AND charitable

user.schumacher if charles doesn't date her i will

ferrarisandmclarens lewis hamilton what are you doing here in her likes

gussellreorge im sorry but the fact that she doesnt even follow 8 time world champion lewis hamilton but he's still out here liking her pictures...like the drivers know shes a catch leclercswatch idc about her and lewis i care about the non-existent her and charles

princessyn.updates

liked by charles_leclerc, monaco.daily and 28,216 others

princessyn.updates Princess Y/N is back in Boston this week as she has been invited to be a keynote speaker at Massachusetts Institute of Technology

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usermclaren ok so we all heard that charles liked this post and came here to see if it was true right

sharl16 he's making moves usermclaren is he?

bottasspls so is she a business bitch or a princess

ynismommy both

charles_leclerc added to their story

yn.ofmonaco

liked by lewishamilton, princessyn.updates and 59,827 others

yn.ofmonaco What a whirlwind couple of days! I will never take anything in life for granted, thank you mitsloan for inviting me back to speak to future graduates and thank you to the kind stranger at the train station who helped me figure out where I was going (also I just learned what a photo dumb was...did I do it right?)

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ynismommy sweetheart its a photo DUMP

mclarenstractors my favorite thing about Y/N is that she understands social media about as much as my 45 year old mother does

pierregasly 8/10 on the boston dump

yn.ofmonaco That's a passing grade, I will take it!

francisca.cgomes

liked by pierregasly, joris__trouche and 32,765 othes

francisca.cgomes what's better than a last minute trip to nyc

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pierregasly you almost said no

francisca.cgomes but i made it

camii_18 her and pierre are so cute 🥺🥺

bottastappen am i insane or is that the princess of monaco herself in that last picture

ynismommy Y/N was hanging out with kika AND pierre?? i need a 2000 word essay on how this came to be with citations

sharlandsainz but where is charles why isn't he in any photos or did he leave before the princess showed up 🥲

inthepits.podcast added to their story

yn.ofmonaco

liked by francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 53,102 others

yn.ofmonaco Art has always been a passion of mind and to be able to accompany Establishment Preschool Des Carmes during their trip to the art gallery was so inspiring and I hope to do it again soon with other schools

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ynfanclub she is quite literally an angel

formulafirstpls i have it in my head that she is genuinely the sweetest person to ever exist and honestly, i think i'm right

francisca.cgomes 🥹🥹

charles_leclerc Quelle expérience amusante! What a fun experience!

yn.ofmonaco Tu devrais nous rejoindre la prochaine fois! You should join us next time! liked by charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc

liked by yn.ofmonaco, pierregasly and 412,103 others

charles_leclerc miamiiiii 🌴☀️🏎 ready for the weekend

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scuderiaferrari game face on

f1mia we're ready for the ferrari boys 🏎❤️

yn.ofmonaco Make Monaco proud!

charles_leclerc i will do my best 😊

yn.ofmonaco

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 78,102 others

yn.ofmonaco It only makes sense that my first Grand Prix is Monaco❤️ While I'm thankful for the experiences I had as a child that led me to studying around the world, I must say it's an incredible feeling to be home and cheering on charles_leclerc and scuderaferrari 🏁

view all 5,300 comments

scuderiaferrari and we're so happy to have you here ❤️

ynismommy SHES CHEERING ON CHARLES

ynfanclub WHY WOULDN'T SHE BE HE'S LITERALLY FROM MONACO

sharl16 one princess cheering on another princess

charles_leclerc 😊😊😊😊

scuderiaferrari

liked by yn.ofmonaco, carlossainz55 and 513,443 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

scuderiaferrari And for the first time Charles Leclerc is a RACE WINNER at his home race, the pinnacle of Motorsport, THE MONACO GRAND PRIX🏁🏎😎 Well deserved win for our Monegasque driver❤️

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charles_leclerc thank you thank you❤️

yn.ofmonaco Well deserved indeed! Well done charles_leclerc!

charles_leclerc thank you y/n😊 means even more that you and your family were there to watch today liked by yn.ofmonaco yellowferraris this is not a drill, the princess of monaco has FINALLY followed charles back and now they are being all cute and friendly in the comments hannah_notmontana she was waiting for him to actually make monaco proud before tossing the follow 💀💀

yn.ofmonaco

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 155,283 others

yn.ofmonaco Had to go through the archives to find this one, but congratulations to my longtime friend charles_leclerc for his Monaco win today! Sundays are officially my new favourite day of the week❤️

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charles_leclerc so much love for you, merci y/n

ynfanclub YA'LL THEY HAVE BEEN FRIENDS THIS WHOLE TIME ARE YOU KIDDING

ynismommy oh my good god we've been bamboozled

pierregasly now that the princess is out of hiding you have to give the crown back charles_leclerc

yn.ofmonaco What does this mean? pierregasly charles has been deemed monaco's princess since you have been gone🤣 charles_leclerc 😐😐😐 yn.ofmonaco Ohh, it's okay charles_leclerc you can keep the crown as long as I get the title haha charles_leclerc i am not a princess scuderiaferrari not with that attitude liked by yn.ofmonaco and pierregasly

aaaand im back with another long smau hehe this was fun, if you made it this far thank you and ily and check out my masterlist here

#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc social media au #charles leclerc #f1 social media au #social media au #f1 #f1 one shot #f1 instagram au #f1 requests #holllandtrash #cl16 x reader #cl16

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itsravenbitch · 1 year

Text

how i revised my boyfriend’s mother’s death

a little backstory

— for the sake of privacy, we’re gonna say my boyfriend’s mother’s name is kay

kay’s “death” was caused by a car accident (wasn’t her fault) and she later passed in the hospital. this all happened in new york, and my boyfriend and i live in georgia. but about a 2 days after we found out, we flew out there.

my bf and his mom were super close so that loss was a lot on him. he started burying himself in the gym, sleep, work etc & eventually he became really depressed. he would not get up out of bed and i could not take that. that was when i decided to revise her death, and this was like a week after she passed.

the moment i learned she was dead, i naturally entered the state of loss. so, i simply and quickly went over what state of mind i was currently in, and what state of mind i needed to be in.

now y’all know i love meditating <3 so ofc i meditated. the one i used is by edward art, i believe i’ve mentioned it before. but here’s the link 😌💘

so yeah after this meditation i had completely satisfied my imagination, i had a great feeling of serenity, and i was in the state of the wish fulfilled. + i let go of any need to control the 3d.

— reminder: don’t look at your 3d as something to change. things change when they change in consciousness/imagination. if you wanna manifest something, don’t point out your current circumstance as something that you need to change. be cool and fulfill it in imagination;)

— also sn: my boyfriend knows about the law but he doesn’t necessarily study or consciously use it. so, i didn’t tell him i was revising his mom’s death.

— and i had to continue to act like his mom was actually dead when i was around him, even tho at this point kay was 100% alive in imagination.

so in the morning, i would wake up and assume the state of fulfillment. throughout the day, when i would go check on my boyfriend, he always expressed his feelings, how i could help, and new ways he was trying to cope. honestly, seeing him so hurt and confused hurt me. and throughout this, one of the few things i always reminded myself was that, i’m not my emotions and i’m my thoughts, and neither of those things matter (in terms of manifesting).

another thing i always reminded myself of was the fact that i’m god, BUT i’m also human. so, the ‘god me’ was relaxed & satisfied. the god in me also didn’t have a hurting boyfriend with a dead mom. but the ‘human me’ did and he needed my comfort.

so that’s what i did, i comforted him because he was grieving the death of his mother. so what? i’m human, and i have human decency so ima comfort my baby.

HOWEVER, i didn’t attach myself to that (accept it). i didn’t look at me comforting him as “his mom’s dead and that’s final”, i just did it because he’s my bf and he’s hurt. but i still maintained fulfillment in imagination.

— i talk about this more in depth here. but basically the post acknowledges that yes, you’re god, but you’re also still human and you have a human life to respond to. so do that, respond to your life (when necessary) while simultaneously fulfilling the inner man.

as long as you continue to return to the state and fulfill SELF, you will manifest whatever it is you’ve fulfilled.

when it manifested

the night before it manifested, my bfs dad asked everyone (the family) over for brunch. just so everyone could be together during rough times and whatnot.

the next morning when we woke up, my bf.. it was like he completely reverted; he just went back to his regular self. i made sure to take a mental note of it.

as we were driving to his dads house he was acting very normal. all that pain, hurt, etc was not there. his whole energy was different. then what really got me was when we had got to a red light. he said “i already know my moms threw down, i wonder what she cooked”……….and i’m like, i know i’m not trippin. just went along with it and agreed with him cause what was i supposed to do lol😭?

so we pull up to the house and get to the door, and one of his brothers opened it. as we’re saying hi and walking further into the house we start smelling food and my bf goes “YUP! I KNEW IT!!”

then he walks into the kitchen and says “hey ma watchu in here cooking? it smells good”……. and his mom was literally standing there smiling before she gave him a hug.

this all happened naturally by the way. it was like… she never died😂😂 the power of revision yall!

anyways the whole afternoon went by like nothing ever happened.

i honestly thought it was pretty funny. knowing how they used to interact with each other while they were grieving kay’s death vs now was hilarious. and what makes it funnier is they never knew and never will 😂😂😂

so there y’all have it, how i revised my boyfriend’s mother’s death. sorry i made y’all wait so long:) i literally got so demotivated while trying to type this.

feel free to ask questions cause ik yall got some😩😂 love y’all 🫶🏾

#law of assumption #neville goddard #imagination creates reality #loa #states #revision #success stories #successstories #law of attraction #affirmations #success story

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oldpotatoe · 7 months

Text

as many of you know, gaza has now gone dark.

targeted israeli strikes have wiped out the telecommunications infrastructure. phone lines and internet services are gone. gazans cannot call their loved ones to check if they are still alive. they cannot call for ambulances for aid. if they survive the increased bombardment tonight and the following nights, they will bleed out alone with no aid.

now i will tell you what will happen in the next few days/weeks, and i pray it to be untrue. unfortunately the apartheid state, also known as israel, has been quite obvious and transparent with their plans.

the stated goal of many politicians over the years from israel, including netanyahu, has been to have the entire strip of land of gaza as israel, with no separate region for palestinians. i am not going to provide links, google is free and i am fucking tired.

what they had done before tonight, in the last two weeks, was destroy over 50% of buildings in gaza city as well as neighbouring areas, so gazans have nowhere to return to. gazans have been forced south, and israel will use this opportunity to have troops in north gaza (currently referred to as the ground invasion) advancing south while bombing "h*mas sites" in the south. israel will do this knowing there are plenty more civilians there that will die, causing terror and panic and having palestinians want to flee to anywhere, anywhere that is safe.

israel is doing this in the hopes that this panic and terror will convince egypt to open the border (well, the border israel isn't currently bombing) so that palestinians can escape to the sinai desert in egypt.

once survivors leave, the area that is currently the gaza strip will 1) be reduced in size if a lot of palestinians stay, should they not be bombed out of existence, or 2) be entirely absorbed into israel if very few palestinians stay, which is the ultimate aim of israel. those remaining palestinians will be moved to the west bank, or the remainder of gaza will be converted to west bank conditions where they'd go through the same problems palestinians in the west bank go through (reduced access to water, checkpoints to go from any place to any place within their own land, getting dispossessed, or randomly killed by racist extremist settlers).

now, egypt has been adamant not to displace the palestinians. in online discourse, people have been dehumanising palestinians by talking about past disruptions in other refugee areas and saying that is why egypt does not want to take them. while there may be slight truth to this from egypt's perspective, the major reason egypt is refusing is that no palestinian refugee abroad has even been given the right to return to their own land. and this will be the fate of gazans if they are made to leave in a mass exodus to egypt/other neighbouring countries such as jordan, which these leaflets from army-backed israeli are threatening palestinians with (photo from salfit in the occupied west bank):

therefore, what i likely see happening is the above bombardment (in increased numbers now that gaza has gone dark) -> mass panic in gaza, more so now that gazans are cornered in the south -> a reluctant egypt, but with the US will promise a large amount of "aid" money to egypt to facilitate the mass exodus of palestinians, the borders will open.

palestinians will be forced out. israelis are already planning on hoovering up the prime real estate there, for amusements park no less!

this is nabka 2.0. this is genocide.

btw, as we speak: israel's leading newspaper is already making claims that h*mas's main operation base is under shifa hospital. the hospital currently housing 50,000 displaced palestinians. the idf is claiming h*mas is using the hospital as a human shield, which is their new favourite phrase to justify killing civilians. so you already know what to expect in the news.

#palestine #free palestine #my heart is so heavy.#meanwhile in tel aviv - parties. halloween nights. weddings and celebrations. meanwhile 50 miles away there is a massacre happening.#dont talk to me about pain if you in any way support the israeli gvt or zionists. dont interact wit this post. i have no patience left.

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matan4il · 6 days

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Today is Erev Yom Ha'Shoah (Eve of Holocaust Memorial Day) in Israel. It will be observed by Jews outside of Israel, too.

The Hebrew date was chosen to honor the outbreak of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. It's also a week before Erev Yom Ha'Zikaron Le'Chalalei Ma'archot Yisrael (Eve of Israel's Memorial Day for its Fallen Soldiers and Terror Victims), which is itself observed a day before Yom Ha'Atzmaut Le'Yisrael (Israel's Independence Day). A lot of people have remarked on the connection between the three dates. On Yom Ha'Atzmaut, we celebrate our independence, which allows us to determine our own fate, and defend ourselves without being dependent on anyone else, right after we remember the price in human life that we have paid and continue to pay for this independence, and a week before we mourn the price we've had to pay for not getting to have self defence during the Holocaust. NEVER FORGET that in one Nazi shooting pit alone (out of almost two thousand) during just 2 days (Erev Yom Kippur and Yom Kippur 1941), more Jewish men, women and kids were slaughtered than in the 77 years since Israel's Independence War was started by the Arabs. This unbreakable connection between the living and the dead, between our joy and our grief, is often addressed with the Hebrew phrase, במותם ציוו לנו את החיים, "With their death, they ordered us to live."

On this Erev Yom Ha'Shoah, I'd like to share with you some data, published on Thursday by Israel's Central Bureau for Statistics (source in Hebrew).

The number of Jews worldwide is 15.7 million, still lower than it was in 1939, before the Holocaust, 85 years ago (that is what a genocide looks like demographically).

7.1 million Jews live in Israel (45% of world Jewry) 6.3 million Jews live in the US (40% of world Jewry)

Here's the data for the top 9 Jewish communities in the world:

There are about 133,000 Holocaust survivors currently living in Israel. Most (80%) live in big cities in central Israel. Around 1,500 are still evacuated from their homes in northern and southern Israel due to the war (back in January, on International Holocaust Remembrance Day, there was a report about 1,894 survivors who also became internal refugees due to the war. Source in Hebrew). One Holocaust survivor, 86 years old Shlomo Mansour, is still held hostage in Gaza. He survived the Farhud in Iraq.

I haven't seen any official number for how many survivors had been slaughtered as a part of Hamas' massacre, despite everyone here being aware that Holocaust survivors had been murdered on Oct 7, such as 91 years old Moshe Ridler. Maybe, as we're still discovering that some people thought to have been kidnapped during the massacre, were actually killed on that day, no one wants to give a "final" number while Shlomo has not yet been returned alive.

Out of all Israeli Holocaust survivors, 61.1% were born in Europe (35.8% in the countries of the former Soviet Union, 10.8% in Romania, 4.9% in Poland, 2.9% in Bulgaria, 1.5% in Germany and Austria, 1.3% in Hungary, 4.2% in the rest of Europe), 36.6% were born in Asia or Africa (16.5% in Morocco, 10.9% in Iraq, 4% in Tunisia, 2.6% in Libya, 2.1% in Algeria, 0.5% in other Asian and African countries) and 2.3% were born elsewhere.

Out of all Holocaust survivors in Israel, 6.2% managed to make it here before the establishment of the state, despite the British Mandate's immigration policy against it (up until May 13, 1948). 30.5% made it to Israel during its very first years (May 14, 1948 until 1951), another 29.8% arrived in the following decades (1952-1989), and 33.5% made Aliyah once the Soviet Union collapsed, and Jewish immigration to the west (which included Israel) was no longer prohibited by the Soviet regimes (1990 on).

The second biggest community of survivors in the world is in the US, the third biggest (but second biggest relative to the size of the population) is in Australia. I heard from many Holocaust survivors who chose to immigrate there that they wanted to get "as physically far away from Europe as possible."

For a few years now, there's been this project in Israel, called Maalim Zikaron, מעלים זיכרון (uploading memory. Here's the project's site in Hebrew. In English it's called Sharing Memories, and here's the English version of the site) where Israeli celebs are asked to meet up with a Holocaust survivor (it's done in Hebrew), and share the survivor's story and the meeting on their social media on Erev Yom Ha'Shoah (which is today). Each year, there's also one non-Israeli Jewish celeb asked to participate (in English. This time around it's Michael Rapaport, he's meeting Aliza, an 81 years old survivor from the Netherlands, who was hidden along with 9 other Jewish babies for two years. He uploaded a preview of his meeting with her here, where he asked her what it means to her to be a Jew, and from what I understand, he will upload more today to the same IG account). This year, there will be an emphasis on Holocaust survivors who also survived Oct 7 (with 6 of the 20 participating survivors having survived Hamas as well). Here's a small bit from an interview with one such survivor, 90 years old Daniel Luz from kibbutz Be'eri:

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

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afeelgoodblog · 12 days

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The Best News of Last Week - 29 April 2024

1. Net neutrality rules restored by US agency

The U.S. Federal Communications Commission voted 3-2 on Thursday to reinstate landmark net neutrality rules and reassume regulatory oversight of broadband internet rescinded under former President Donald Trump.

2. Airlines required to refund passengers for canceled, delayed flights

DOT will also require airlines to give cash refunds if your bags are lost and not delivered within 12 hours.

The refunds must be issued within seven days, according to the new DOT rules, and must be in cash unless the passenger chooses another form of compensation. Airlines can no longer issue refunds in forms of vouchers or credits when consumers are entitled to receive cash.

3. How new mosquito nets averted 13 million malaria cases

Compared to standard nets, the introduction of 56 million state-of-the-art mosquito nets in 17 countries across sub-Saharan Africa averted an estimated 13 million malaria cases and 24,600 deaths. The New Nets Project, an initiative funded by Unitaid and the Global Fund and led by the Innovative Vector Control Consortium (IVCC), piloted the use of dual-insecticide nets in malaria-endemic countries between 2019 and 2022 to address the growing threat of insecticide resistance.

4. Germany has installed over 400,000 ‘solar balconies’

This new wave of solar producers aren’t just getting cheap electricity, they’re also participating in the energy transition.

More than 400,000 plug-in solar systems have been installed in Germany, most of them taking up a seamless spot on people’s balconies.

5. Voyager-1 sends readable data again from deep space

The US space agency says its Voyager-1 probe is once again sending usable information back to Earth after months of spouting gibberish.

The 46-year-old Nasa spacecraft is humanity's most distant object.

6. Missing cat found after 5 years makes 2,000-km journey home

Five years after it ran out the door, a lost cat was returned to a couple in Nevada after it was found thousands of kilometres away. The couple are praising the cat’s microchip for helping reunite them.

7. Restoring sight is possible now with optogenetics

Max Hodak's startup, Science, is developing gene therapy solutions to restore vision for individuals with macular degeneration and similar conditions. The Science Eye utilizes optogenetics, injecting opsins into the eye to enhance light sensitivity in retinal cells.

Clinical trials and advancements in optogenetics are showing promising results, with the potential to significantly improve vision for those affected by retinal diseases.

---

That's it for this week :)

This newsletter will always be free. If you liked this post you can support me with a small kofi donation here:

Buy me a coffee ❤️

Also don’t forget to reblog this post with your friends.

#best news of last week

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sayruq · 5 months

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Hezbollah has spent the past 2 months attacking Israeli settlements, military sites and installations, and soldiers. Israel has swung from threatening war to asking the West to intervene, in between bombing Lebanese villages and killing civilians and journalist. We now have entered a new chapter

As this thread goes on to explain, Hezbollah would never agree to disarm even it means Lebanon regains all its territories. In fact, Hezbollah criticised Hamas' 2017 charter because it was willing to accept the 1967 border and therefore the two state solution. Nothing less than neutralising the Israeli threat would do.

The thread goes on to explain that Israel is hoping to use domestic pressures to get Hezbollah to agree to this plan. One problem: Hezbollah operates regardless if whether or not it has national support. At any rate, the organisation will never accept the proposed plan.

Weeks ago, a minister in Israel's war cabinet threatened to leave unless a war with Hezbollah is considered. As you can see in this post and in this article, tens of thousands of Israelis evacuated from the Northern territory want war with Hezbollah so they can return to their settlements. For weeks, the mayors of those settlements have made statements saying Israelis can never return unless Hezbollah is removed from the border. The general idea is that once Hamas is defeated in Gaza, Israel will go to war with Hezbollah.

But Hamas isn't being defeated and Hezbollah is significantly stronger than all the Resistance factions in Gaza. Israel is losing in Gaza. It has the gotten to the point where it can't even resupply its troops from the ground. So many of its soldiers are wounded and left disabled that they're now sending them to civilian hospitals because they've run out of space in their de facto military hospitals (the speculated number is over 10,000 injured since Oct 26th).

What this proposal shows is that Israel has never been more weaker. Israel is terrified of Hezbollah and I can't blame them because if they're struggling this much against the Gazan militia groups, imagine how badly things will go if they ever decide to make the conflict at the border into a war. They lost against Hezbollah twice already, a new war will make it three loses.

Israel would never negotiate unless it was backed into the corner. That's what the temporary truce also showed. Hamas sent their terms for a ceasefire, Israel laughed them off, then weeks later, after taking a great deal of damage, Israel returned to the negotiating table to hear the same exact terms that they were given before.

After Israel refused to extend the truce, Hamas has changed its approach. No more temporary truces. Hostages will only be exchanged after a comprehensive ceasefire. Rumour has it (its practically confirmed in Arab media) that Israel has asked Qatar and Egypt to restart mediation after pulling away Mossad negotiators two weeks ago.

Now, that Israel has shown its belly vis-à-vis Hezbollah, I expect all the Resistance Axis to continue tightening the noose around Israel.

Palestine has never been closer to liberation than it is now and it will be closer still tomorrow.

#yemen #jerusalem #tel aviv #current events #palestine #free palestine #gaza #free gaza #news on gaza #palestine news #news update #war news #war on gaza #liberation #palestinian resistance #from the river to the sea palestine will be free

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wileys-russo · 1 month

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NOOOO now we need a pt 2 of cough medicine with a grumpy reader because alexia has passed the cold to her and alexia dressing up in the nurse outfit to surprise her…

lil sequel to this ! suggestive content at the end cough medicine 2.0 II a.putellas

"mi princesa i said i was sorry!" your girlfriend groaned as you scoffed and reached to grab the bottle of water on the coffee table in front of you.

"sorry doesn't make me not sick alexia i warned you!" you grunted ou in annoyance, pushing away her hands which attempted to massage your shoulders.

"bebita in my defense-" your girlfriend started, accent thick as she spoke english but the withering glare you shot her had her wishing she'd mumbled it in spanish and out of your earshot as she fell silent and your attention returned to the television.

"can i get you something?" the catalonian asked sweetly as you ignored her, tucking your knees up to your chest and pulling the blanket to your chin. "mi amor do you need anything? tissue, cough medicine, tea, soup, a hug?" your girlfriend smiled hopefully as you shot her a blistering side eye.

"for you to leave me alone." you grumbled, sniffling and wiping your nose with the sleeve of your hoodie. you'd even refused to wear one of alexia's and thats when she knew you were perhaps just a touch beyond the normal level of grumpy you became when unwell.

though really alexia knew it was her fault. you'd at first been strong and held quite firm to the no kissing rule when she was sick last week, needing to still be viable and healthy to look after her as well as work from home while you did so.

now to the average bystander they'd not know the true nature of your girlfriends incredibly clingy tendencies, but when her walls were down and it was just the two of you she melted like a icey in the sun, crawling on top of you.

if you didn't react fast enough she'd grab your arms and wrap them around her, tucking them up the back of whatever was covering her torso, the blonde mumbling into your neck she wanted back scratches and you'd often tease that if she got any closer she'd be inside your skin.

then when alexia was sick it was even more dire that she have every possible ounce of your attention and touch. so as the hours ticked by and you'd still held firm that her lips weren't to touch yours and she not get too close, her attempts to break you down also doubled.

unfortunately to your own detriment you also found yourself feeling a little touch starved, and the more effort alexia made to getting you to crack the closer and closer you stepped toward the edge.

but over and over you warned her that not only did you have to work but you had a music festival with your friends on the weekend you needed to be in fit and fighting shape for.

spoiler alert, a night of consolation kisses to cheer up your incredibly pouty and miserable girlfriend who was informed she'd not be fit enough to make the squad this weekend meant it was needless to say you weren't going to the music festival now.

it had been frosty for the last two days since.

you'd even gone as far as to put up a pillow wall as a compromise for not kicking alexia out of the bed much to the constant whining and apologizing and groveling and begging and pleading you were far too tired and unwell to give into.

"mi vida. por favor i do not know what else to do, i have said over and over i am very sorry!" alexia groaned again, collapsing into the sofa beside you, thumping into the cushions and hazel eyes burning holes into the side of your head.

"i told you, leave me alone." you huffed, well aware you were now bordering on overreacting but your dampened state of well being and the fomo of watching your friends all have fun at the festival without you was making it near impossible to move on from that.

with one final sigh and pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before you could push her away alexia did as you asked and left you be. and with the warmth of the blanket and your inconsistent temperature it didn't take long before you drifted off.

when you woke up it was to an all too familiar smell, lifting your head groggily and peeking over the back of the lounge you could see your girlfriend with her back to you in the kitchen.

you hadn't made a single noise but alexia could feel your eyes on her as she glanced over her shoulder and threw you a smile which you didn't return, though you also didn't turn away, resting your chin on top of the sofa and watching her as she cooked.

"are you making your soup?" you rasped out after awhile, unable to ignore the overwhelmingly alluring smell wafting closer and closer. "maybe." alexia grinned coyly as you rolled your eyes and flopped back down onto the sofa.

"not in the mood for cute." you quipped with a huff, stretching your arms out behind your head and tuning back into the spanish soap opera your girlfriends sister had gotten you shamefully addicted to, though alba never ceased to tease that you needed the subtitles on.

you glanced up when you heard someone clear their throat, looking up at your girlfriend for a fleeting moment as she stood before you and placed down two bowls of soup on the coffee table before your gaze returned to the television

but then when you realized alexia had done an outfit change, your head snapped back so fast you near gave yourself whiplash.

"hola bebita." she purred with a suggestive smile as you sat upright and covered your mouth with your hand, taking in your incredibly athletically built girlfriend in all her glory.

her glory being the ill fighting barely covering nurses costume that was yours which was sitting taunt against her muscular body.

given the fact it was made in your size and not hers, and she easily stood two and a half heads taller, she looked like one wrong move would have her bursting out of it like the hulk.

and so you did the only thing your body could do in the moment taking her in and the way her thick quad muscles had the garters wrapped around them about a millisecond from snapping, you collapsed backwards into the sofa clutching at your stomach, body heaving with laughter which rang around your empty shared home.

the reaction was clearly not what the taller girl anticipated as her mouth formed a small o and she crossed her arms, the way the sleeves ripped as she did so only making you laugh harder.

"hey! this was supposed to be sexy, not funny!" alexia protested with a huff, your head shaking to and fro as you tried to stop laughing for a moment so you could get a word out.

"cariño its not funny!" alexia groaned, a slight blush coating her cheeks as she shuffled closer. "oh mi amor you're forgiven. you're so forgiven!" you pulled your phone out and wiped a stray tear, snapping a few photos as your girlfriend gasped and tried to cover up.

"well this was not what i wanted but i am glad to at least see you smile again." alexia gave in with a shake of her head, moving to sit down beside you so you could both eat, grateful to hear her favorite noise once more as your belly laughter subsided into giggles.

but right as she did a strange noise sounded and your hand once more flew to your mouth, alexia now near naked beside you as the entire back of the ensemble ripped clean in half, your eyes raking over the taunt tattooed and tanned skin of her back.

"don't." alexia warned seriously, a pleading look in her eyes as you lost it again, sagging into her and clutching at your stomach as the sounds of your laughter filled the air. "amor!" alexia whined, clearly embarrassed as her hands flew to cover her own face.

"are you comfortable?" you teased, sitting up on your knees beside her once your laughter had settled, wrenching alexia's hands away from her face with a raised eyebrow. "no." your girlfriend mumbled with a huff and a roll of her eyes.

"so now you understand how it feels when i dress up for you." you hinted, eyebrow raising even higher as alexia sighed but nodded. "i have more muscles! it hurts more." the girl huffed, bottom lip jutting out into a slight pout.

"thats what you're going to take from all of this? ale i just forgave you, don't piss me off again." you huffed smacking her chest lightly as the corners of her mouth curled upward slightly.

"why not? it is what you are taking from this, no?" the slight smile turned into a full on grin now as she settled back into the lounge a little more clearly making an effort to flex her biceps and upper arm muscles as they sat folded behind her head.

"still not in the mood for cute. and thanks to you i'm sick, so if it was sex you were angling for putellas...think again." your hand smacked gently against her cheek a few times with a wink.

though before you could reach for your food your back was flat against the sofa and your girlfriend hovered over you, settling herself on her knees between your legs.

"you know bebita, there is still a lot i can do for you while you are unwell. but only if you are feeling up to it!" a singular finger trailed down your bare leg, her smirk widening at the goosebumps which arose in response.

"well you are a nurse, and it would be wrong of me to assume i know what i need better than a nurse." you smiled, alexia raising an eyebrow as she sunk a little lower, a few kisses trailed up your leg as you hummed, already feeling better as they got higher and her large hands gripped your thighs pushing your legs even further apart.

you sighed in pleasure and tangled your hands in her hair as her chin rested on your abdomen, looking up at you with a smile as she played with the hem of your shorts, t-shirt pushed upward and a few kisses placed to your stomach as your eyes fluttered closed and your shorts suddenly dissapeared.

"let me make it all feel better princesa."

#woso x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso blurbs

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beomiracles · 3 months

Note

hello I loved the beomgyu pic thin walls you posted. It was too good. Would you be open to do a pt2. where reader and beomgyu meet and do get along I feel like beomgyu would be super romantic towards the reader .....and not like what she thought he'd be like.

thin walls, pt.2

A/N ── dunno if I managed to fit as much romance in it but they def got closer heh ─ hope it can still live up to your expectations :3

pairing; beomgyuxfemale!reader warnings; masturbation, that's basically it, reader is lowk a little pervy but so is beomgyu?

"when your new neighbour moves in he disturbs your peace and quiet ── however not all noise is bad noise..." continuation to part one!

It had been four days since you'd caught your neighbour getting off to the thought of you, and it had been seven days since you had last seen each other. You were beginning to wonder if he avoided you, never once when you had left your apartment for work had you ran into each other, nor when you took out the trash or just left to run errands.

Two nights ago he'd had friends over, they were of course loud but you couldn't find it in you to go over and complain. You didn't know why but the thought of meeting your neighbour suddenly made you nervous, but that was silly, he should be the shameful one. He was after all, the one who'd been so shamelessly moaning you name just a few nights ago.

But apart from the night he'd had friends over Beomgyu's apartment had been radio silent. Doubt was creeping in on you, perhaps you'd been mistaken... That thought quickly made you shake your head, you knew what you had heard, you even...

Shaking your head you turned off the shower and got out. Pulling on your pyjamas you prepared for a cozy movie night, it was Friday after all, however when you went to turn on the Tv it just showed a blue screen with a bunch of weird texts which you couldn't seem to make out what they meant.

After frustratedly pushing every button on your remote control and even going as far as googling whatever the issue was, an idea suddenly popped into your head. Your neighbour had a whole playstation connected to his Tv so he should know what to do, right?

Biting your lip as you thought about going over there, it wasn't exactly late and from the three weeks you'd been neighbours you knew Beomgyu wasn't one turn in early. Giving yourself an encouraging nod you make your way over to his apartment, this time you make sure to wear a bit more.

Knocking softy at his door you wait for about thirty seconds before he opens. Raising his eyebrows in a surprised expression when he finds you out of all people by his door, "listen if you came to complain about noise then I can assure you-" you cut him off by shaking your head. Clearing your throat awkwardly, "I uh, I actually need your help."

౨ৎ

Turns out that Beomgyu is great with anything electronic, he easily fixes your problem and your Tv returns to its normal state. All the while he explains what he's doing and how you'll be able to solve it yourself as long as you press so and so buttons.

You try your best to keep up with his teaching but your eyes can't help but drift from the hand holding the remote control up to his forearm, over his biceps, across his chest... Whatever you had heard that night had certainly made you see him in a new light and you had no idea how to feel about it.

Hearing him speak so causally just now when he had been whimpering and moaning your name when he thought you couldn't hear made your stomach flutter in excitement.

"Y-Y/n..?" Beomgyu's voice made your eyes snap back up at him to find him shifting awkwardly under your stare. You clear your throat awkwardly, "yes sorry, you were saying?" He grins as he continues explaining the different buttons in the remote control in great detail and you can't help but realise how...nice, he actually is. You could admit that you'd had a few perceptions about him being some arrogant and cocky bastard but he turned out to be quite the opposite..

You thanked him immensely when he was done and promised to treat him to dinner as a thank you. Beomgyu accepted your offer with a grin. The two of you decided on the following Sunday and you felt excitement spread in your chest.

౨ৎ

That same night you had been awakened by familiar muffled noises coming from the apartment next to you. Biting your lip you shamelessly listened as Beomgyu got off on the thought of you in his bed. The quiet whimpers of your name spilling from his lips made you squeeze your legs together as arousal pooled between your legs.

Your window however had been ajar and a particular hard wind made your bedside lamp fall over, causing a loud thud to echo through your bedroom. The sounds of your neighbour vanished in an instant and for a few moments you didn't dare to move at all.

After what felt like ages you quietly got up to close your window, placing your lamp back on your bedside table before you got back into bed. Silence echoed and for the first time in a long while you wished for anything else then the silence you had once held so dearly.

Just as you were about to fall back asleep the small noises made by your neighbour could be heard once again, a grin crept up on your face has a hand slipped between your legs.

౨ৎ

Sunday rolled around which meant one thing, Beomgyu was coming over for dinner. You had already planned out the food you were having and went out the day before to get the groceries necessary. Beomgyu had been to your apartment when he'd helped you with your Tv meaning he'd seen the flat in one of its worse states, however you wanted to clean the place up this time and your afternoon was spent listening to music and cleaning.

Deeming the place to be fit for visitors you made your way to your kitchen to start preparing dinner. However you had barely pulled the groceries from the fridge when your apartment suddenly went dark. Frowning you tried the light switch a couple times before making your way to the closet next to your bathroom where the small electric cabinet was. You had experienced many power outages before and you knew exactly which plugs to pull to get the power back on.

Thinking maybe your system had become overheated and shut itself off as a precaution (which wasn't unusual), but when the light didn't turn back on you became slightly worried. It's not like you were afraid of the dark or anything, hell you slept in complete darkness, but there was just something eerie about power outages that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand.

Knocking softly on the front door to your neighbours apartment you take in a deep breath. The entire hallway is dark as well and you figure that the whole building must be out. You can't deny the relief that washes over you when Beomgyu opens the door, flash light shining right across your face.

"Ah shit, sorry," he mumbles as he turns the light away from your squinting face. "You're out of power too?" you ask rather stupidly since he's just flashed a fucking flashlight right in your face. Beomgyu nods "yeah, for about fifteen minutes or so.." he trails off as he notices your awkward stance.

"Do you, want to come in?"

౨ৎ

Beomgyu's apartment is an exact replica of yours, just mirrored. Though its interior surprises you, having expected it to be more of a man-cave filled with trash, the minimalistic and clean furniture made your eyes go wide. Noticing your look Beomgyu awkwardly cleared his throat, "I...I'm still waitin' on some more furniture to arrive," scratching the back of his head rather awkwardly he follows you into his living room.

"I like it," you say as you plop down on his couch, you can't help but wonder if he's aware of the fact that both your living- and bedrooms were wall to wall. "It's just," you pause trying to find the right words, "not what I expected I guess." He frowns but you catch the small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, "what'd you expect then?"

You scoff as you wave his question off, "it's besides the point," you shrug but your neighbour is persistent. "No, seriously tell me," he pouts as he crosses his arms. With a small roll of your eyes you sigh, "I expected more trash and less," she motions towards his living room, "whatever this is."

Beomgyu grins, "would that mean I exceeded your expectations, ma'am?"

You shoot him a glare, "I thought I told you to lay off the ma'am thing already." Your neighbour pretends as if he doesn't hear you and takes a seat on the couch next to you. "I guess dinner's gonna have to wait?" he asks tilting his head. You nod slowly, "yeah...unless, I mean," you shake your head, "nevermind".

"Unless what?" he frowns and lens closer making your heart skip a beat. Shaking your head you mumble out a quite "nothin", but Beomgyu doesn't give up. "Were you gonna ask me if I'd still like to have dinner with you, ma'am?" his grin only widens when he sees the way your cheeks heat up. Too flustered to even tell him off about the ma'am thing again you clear your throat awkwardly, "it doesn't really matter now thou-"

"I'd love to have dinner with you," Beomgyu says as he leans back on the couch, arms laying comfortably behind his head.

Blinking a few times before you realised what he'd meant you fumble for a response, "but we don't have any electricity or-" Beomgyu shakes his head, "you underestimate me", grinning he gets up from the couch and makes his way towards his kitchen.

Moments later he reappears, arms filled with plenty of snacks that didn't require any electricity to be edible. Plopping them down on the coffee table he adds, "I also got a shit ton of ice cream in my freezer that doesn't have electricity right now, so we better get to work".

౨ৎ

Eating and chatting with Beomgyu proved to be a rather fun past time and you wondered why you hadn't done this before. You found yourself laughing at his dry jokes and snarky remarks about whatever topic you were on.

Despite having very different lifestyles and interests your conversation never seemed to feel boring and before you knew it hours had passed.

As Beomgyu threw a glance at the clock you cleared your throat thinking maybe you'd overstayed your visit. "I, thank you so much for the food and just...everything really," you said a pink blush covering your cheeks as you finished your sentence.

Beomgyu nodded, your previous conversations had led to you mentioning how uncomfortable the power outage had made you feel, and right now you could feel your neighbour's eyes on you. "Will you be okay? I mean with like, going to sleep and stuff?" he asked as he tilted his head slightly.

Nervously chewing at your bottom lip you slowly nod, "I...think so," you tried shrugging it off, "not like I can make the power turn back on just like that anyways". You let out an awkward chuckle as you fiddle with the strands of your hair.

Even though your only source of light comes from the flashlight between the two of you, you can still see how Beomgyu shifts awkwardly on the couch, his confident grin faltering slightly as he speaks. "You could, I mean, if you want to you could...stay over?" he says sheepishly as he runs a hand through his hair.

Parting your lips in shock it takes you a moment to reply, Beomgyu on the other hand is faster, "I mean if you don't want to it's totally okay I understand really," he begins but is shortly cut off by your words as you look up at him, "if, if it's okay with you..?" you say somewhat awkward. Would it be weird to stay over at his place when you barely knew him, probably, however when placed next to the option of returning to your own apartment, the former was a clear winner.

Nodding almost eagerly at your response Beomgyu immediately is on his feet, "I'll go get some extra blankets and pillows". You smile and thank him as you run a hand through your hair. Biting your lower lip you watch him walk between his bedroom to the closet next to his bathroom a few times before stopping in the middle of the living room. Already knowing what he's about to say you stop him before he can get a word out, "I'll be fine on the couch, don't worry."

Beomgyu opens his mouth to reply but frowns, "are you sure, you can have my bed I don't mind," but you shake your head. "No don't be silly it's your bed, trust me this couch is more than enough," you pat the spot on the couch next to you as if to demonstrate and Beomgyu lets out a defeated sigh as he walks over and places the blankets down along with a few pillows.

Not only would you feel uncomfortable taking his bed from him when he was so kind as to let you stay over but the things you'd heard him do there, you don't think you could ever fall asleep.

The two of you get ready for bed in silence and exchange goodnights as Beomgyu softly shuts the door to his bedroom. Despite being alone in the dark living room you somehow felt a lot more at ease knowing you neighbour was just behind a door, it didn't take you long to fall into a deep slumber.

౨ৎ

It was still dark outside when you woke up from the urge of having to use the bathroom. Quietly you made your way across the living room over to the bathroom, to your delight the power seemed to have gotten back on during the night as a warm light greeted you when you opened the bathroom door.

After washing and drying your hands again you tiptoed your way back to the couch in an attempt not to wake Beomgyu, when you heard a noise coming from his bedroom as you passed his door you stilled. Holding your breath you thought you'd somehow managed to accidentally wake him despite your efforts to be quiet.

Though as you heard his soft moans echoing off the walls in the bedroom you immediately froze. It wasn't like you hadn't heard him before, and enjoyed it, but this time the sounds were so much closer, he was so much closer. You could clearly make out the way your name fell from his lips in quiet whimpers and even the rustling of sheets as he turned in bed.

This was probably the closest you would ever be, you thought. Without thinking about the matter further you pushed his bedroom door open. Your eyes had already adjusted to the dark on your small trip back from the bathroom and you could easily make out his figure on the bed.

Back pressed against the mattress, one of his legs in a hooked position as his foot dug into the bed, his right hand keeping a firm and steady pace on his leaking cock. His head was thrown back onto his pillow, adams apple bobbing as the same sinful noises you'd been hearing at night left his lips. Occasionally he'd buck his hips up into his hand followed by a grunt.

Standing in the doorway you felt your core throb at the sight in front of you, and he had yet to notice that you were there, too lost in his own pleasure. Slowly you crept forward until you were next to his bed, his eyes were closed as his face scrunched up in ecstasy. In the dark your hand finds his, wrapped around the head of his cock. His eyes snap open when you wrap your hand around his, stroking him slowly. "Need any help with that?" you ask, not exactly expecting a reply when he breathes out a soft,

"Yes please, ma'am".

read part three here :3

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