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#shave your bum
biscuitdolly · 6 months
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easy hygiene tips ♡
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to improve physical appearance , health and hygiene are a must.
water ♡
water. please , for the love of god , drink water. get up rn and go drink some water. water does so much , want clear skin? water. want to lose weight? water. want to feel more refreshed? water. ITS SO HELPFUL!! you really don't want to be dehydrated, it has so many negative effects.
i would aim for around 2 liters (8 full glasses) a day , but you can slowly increase your water intake over the span of a few weeks if you're not ready for that. if you like me and forget to drink , set alarms or reminders for when you need to.
apple cider vinegar ♡
okay , yes, it tastes gross, but it's so good for your PH!! just drink 2 teaspoons everyday (dilute with water first) , trust me it will make your body sweat and kitty smell (and taste) soo much better!! it can also help u lose weight , decrease waist size and is so good for your skin!!
easy oral hygiene ♡
brush your teeth at least 3 times a day. i normally opt for brushing my teeth twice in a row morning and night , and once during the day (yes , even if i'm at school). also , don't forget to floss!! most importantly u wanna b scraping/brushing your tongue, along with brushing your gums and the roof of your mouth!! If you're not brushing regularly and not brushing your tongue, your breath is gonna stink.
another tip - mints > gum. no matter how minty your gum is , if you're chewing it all day it's gonna make your breath smell bad. a sugar-free mint that specialises in good breath every morning helps so much for me.
shower/bath care ♡
please wash behind your ears and your belly button. every part of your body should be clean!!! you don't want build-up.
exfoliate before and after u shave. this will leave u feeling SO smooth and helps avoid razor bumps , if you have sensitive skin (like me) it can help avoid irritation (i get SO itchy and my skin gets covered in red bumps if i don't exfoliate when shaving). personally, i don't suffer from oily skin , but if u do, exfoliating afterwards helps remove any dirt from clogged pores and any residue build-up!
use different clothes depending on what part of your body you're cleaning!! use a softer cloth for your face and kitty , and use regular clothes for the main part of your body and bum. NEVER wash your face in the shower! you want your face to have its own personal time for you to clean it so you can really focus on it. also , hot water from the shower can damage your skin and make it dry. your shower head also probably has a lot of bacteria hiding in it, so please wash your face separately after your shower.
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sooniebby · 7 months
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𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫
𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝟭: 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗯𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻/𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴/𝘀𝗲𝗺𝗶 𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰
This character is has been used before, in this story but you don’t need to read it to read this one! Bottom male reader, as always. Reader is mentioned to have a cock. Light degradation, plus he’s a bit mean and manipulative.
Your boyfriend was weird. You weren’t even sure why you were dating him. Sure, he was hot. And even though he was a bum, he somehow made time to look decent.
He still worked out and shaved. Showered, ate properly. So at the very least, physically, he was okay. But mentally….?
He was crazy. Insane.
Which was why you were here, still dressed in your white dress shirt, black dress pants, and tie—humping his leg subtly as he played video games.
He liked it when you came home and didn’t shower. Especially if you kept your work clothes on. Something about you in “tight clothing” did something to him.
You kept your tie in between your teeth, muffling any moans you had as you kept a steady pace rutting against his thigh. He wasn’t even paying attention to you, so focused on the horror game he was playing.
“Should I go through this door?”
You opened your eyes, looking at him, wondering if he was talking to you. But no, he was looking at camera. You felt a sense of dread. He wouldn’t fucking dare.
You slowly looked back a bit and to see that yes, the red dot was on. He was live streaming. You quickly turned back to face his chest, back to the camera, as you hoped no one got a good glance of your face.
Looking up, you saw his lips turns into a smirk. His usual cruel smirk that he had whenever you found out one of his little schemes. You bit down on the tie in anger, ready to just get up and leave when his (much larger) hand gripped your waist and held you down.
He leaned down, his lips right near your ears. His breath tickling you.. and bringing a sense of comfort.
“Did I say you can leave? You haven’t cum yet.”
He whispered, making sure only you heard him. You glared at him but simply nodded, gripping at his jacket. He gave you a grin before returning his attention back to his game.
And in your mind, you thought you shouldn’t let this guy control you. But…
Slow and steady, you began to rut against his leg again, making sure to keep your body as still as possible so the viewers couldn’t tell.
“Him? Aw~ he’s my boyfriend. He’s very shy, but you guys will see his face one day~”
You reach over and pinch his neck, causing him to grunt. He glances down at you and simply grins, seeming to enjoy your fruitless act of defiance.
He leaned down again, “the quicker you cum, the quicker you can leave.”
With that, he continued to act like you weren’t masturbating using his leg. You gritted your teeth in embarrassment but moved a bit closer to him, moving your hips a bit more downward so your cock could press and rub against his leg.
You have done this before. At least without the audience. You usually loved having his legs between yours, making you come undone but usually he did all the work.
Doing it yourself, you felt embarrassed. And honestly, unmotivated. You wanted to sleep, not cum. His hand that rested on your waist, lightly tracing your skin underneath your shirt moved down to your pants.
You glanced up to see if he was finally paying attention to you but he wasn’t. He seemed pretty focused on the game. His eyes narrowed and his jaw set as his other hand focused on moving the character.
You couldn’t help but blush. He usually looked like a bum most of the time but seeing him so serious, even if it was about a game, was hot.
Especially doing it one handed.
“I…” you whispered, hoping to catch his attention. Subtly, his eyes flickered down to you but quickly moved back to his computer screen.
It was so weird. He did care… but he didn’t act like it.
“I… I’m not motivated.” You whispered, taking the tie out of your mouth. He simply grunted, focused on the game.
You sighed, believing you were just going to have to find a way to get motivated but was suddenly hearing the sound of something being burst open.
You looked down to see your pants were pulled open. When did he even have the chance to do that? With one hand, he easily pulled open your dress shirt, though in the process a few buttons popped off.
“They can’t see my lower half. Take off your pants and boxers.”
You obeyed. Without moving much, you slipped down your boxers and pants to your feet and fully off.
You felt an odd sense of love from his behavior but it was soon gone when you looked up at his face.
“Do something. I trained you well enough,” he laughed. “C’mon, make me proud, cum without my help.”
Being referred to as “trained” felt degrading but you didn’t comment on it. He did in a way.
With a flushed face, you buried your head in the crook of his neck. The chat that you couldn’t see began to spam hearts, all commenting on how cute you were.
Though they didn’t know you were pantsless and was about to masturbate on your boyfriend’s leg.
An odd sense of urgency filled you. You wanted to make him proud. So, you began to rut against his leg again, this time really feeling the burn of his jeans rubbing against your cock. You didn’t even know why he liked wearing these stupid baggy jeans.
Sweatpants existed!
But in a way, the pain certainly helped. Jesus, he really turned you into a masochist!
“He’s shaking? Oh, the fan’s on. He’s just cold, right, baby?”
You flinched, realizing you weren’t trying to hide your movement anymore. You could onlymeekly nod, earning a subtle smack on your ass from him as he continued talking to his viewers.
With the fresh burn of embarrassment filled within you, you quickened the pace, wanting this to be over with. But he gripped your waist, slowing you down.
You whimpered but followed his lead, allowing him to guide your hips. Back and forth, your cock beginning to leak pre-cum onto his jeans.
“How’d we meet? Hm… it’s a long story. (Name) didn’t like me when we first met.”
Which was true. You hated him. And you still did. But you also loved him.
Feelings are complicated.
You whined when your cock began to hurt a bit from the constant friction on his jeans. You didn’t expect him to care, seeing tears well in your eyes always caused him to continue, enjoying the sight.
But he stopped.
He stopped and looked down at you.
“Just use your hand.”
He muttered, his hand tracing a few random shapes on your waist. One.. maybe being a heart. But you pushed that thought away. You reached down and grabbed your cock, already a bit close to your release.
You bit your lip tightly as your back arched. You couldn’t help it. You were always such a loud guy.
A sound that was mixed with a cry and a whimper was heard, your cock squirting onto his jacket. Your body was limp, leaning onto his.
He grinned, enjoying the viewers commenting wondering what happened to you. A few viewers immediately commented that it must’ve been sex or something.
“My baby is tired. You know how it is, office life. Hm, well, you guys probably don’t. You guys usually don’t have jobs. Anyway, see you tomorrow!”
As you shivered, the fan was starting to actually make you cold, he pulled your shirt off entirely, complete ruining it. A shame. It’s luck that you have so many left.
He placed his hands underneath your legs and stood up, holding you close as he walked to the bathroom.
“Really, I’m glad you come to me for stress relief. I always worry I’m not doing enough for you. But you keep proving me wrong, huh, baby?”
What…? Didn’t he..?
You can’t think straight. Cumming always did that to you. You hum. Yeah, you came to him. You always do. Work is so stressful. And he’s always there to make you feel good.
Yeah, he’s a good boyfriend.
Always making you feel better.
“I wanna bath.” You whisper, leaning closer to press a kiss onto his nose. You loved his nose, especially by how big it was.
Very good to sit on.
Anyway….
“Anything for you, baby.”
And like always, he had you like a doll in his hand. And that’s where you’d stay.
Because he’s your boyfriend and great stress reliever <3
I love writing him, so manipulative 🤭 if you guys like him enough, I’ll give him a name and expand on him! Hope you liked it!
Tag list: @the-ultimate-librarian @nakedtoasterr @iwishtobeacrow @kaedezu @mello-life69 @chill-guy-but-cooler @kiiyoooo @ofclyde @smellwell @tomoeroi @millecka @loivre
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yearning-for-autumn · 3 months
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Azriel NSFW Alphabet
A/N: Literally no one asked for this, also I may have gone a bit overboard so like if anyone who knows me sees this no you didn't.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Azriel is king of the princess treatment. Whilst he is rough in bed, he is gentle and sweet with you once it’s all over, he’ll run his hands softly down your body whispering how well you did, how good you were for him. Then he’ll scoop you up and run you both a bath, getting in with you to wash your hair and hold you.
Butterfly kisses….enough said.
B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Azriel is an ass guy, he likes boobs but he will always admire a shapely bum. He loves to grab it, slap it, rub soothing circles on it as he fucks you. He loves to have you bounce up and down on his cock facing away from him as well so he can watch it jiggle. To a lesser extent, he loves your neck as well, he loves to leave hickies to stake his claim…possessive Illyrians…
His favourite body part of his own is probably his wings. He’s a bit smug about the fact he has the biggest wingspan of his brothers, and on a sadder note he is just thankful he can use them, that he learnt to fly and the freedom they represent for him.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
This man cums heavy. Like…it’s going to be dripping from you. He loves coming over your arse, watching those stripes of white paint your red backside.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Azriel doesn’t really like to admit, but he is pretty touch starved. He doesn’t allow many people to touch his wings but the first time you did he came almost immediately. It took a little while for him to build up some stamina with you in that area. 
On a dirtier note…Azriel has a bit of a fantasy of fucking you in the same room as Cassian and Nesta. He loves how feisty Nesta is, knowing she’s a bit of a brat for Cassian. He wants to show off how much of a good girl you are for him, make Cassian Jealous that he can do absolutely anything to you and you’ll thank him for it. He also wants to see you fuck Nesta…whilst he fucks Cass. 
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Azriel is very experienced. He has had a lot of lovers over the years but he is not very experienced in having a long term relationship. That being said, he has taken subs before and is very confident in his abilities to practise BDSM safely and sanely. He takes your comfort very seriously and has experience with many different wants and needs.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Honestly any, but he loves sitting up with you in his lap, either bouncing you up and down on his cock, or having your back pressed against his chest as he cradles you and rubs your clit until you cum. 
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He can be if he thinks you’re really nervous but mostly he’s in the zone. When he fucks you, he does it right, and he’s concentrating on your pleasure…(or punishment).
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He keeps things neat down there but he’s not completely hairless. He doesn’t have a preference on whether you choose to shave or not.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Azriel can turn on the romance if need be, but his expertise lies in being a dom, he’s not not romantic…but he’s definitely not sweet and gentle with you.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Azriel masturbates quite frequently. He’s got a high sex drive and so when you’re away or he’s on a mission he won’t think twice before taking himself in his hand. He’s also a fan of masturbating together, and loves pumping his thick cock to the sight of you rubbing your clit, head thrown back in self made ecstasy. 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
DDLG - I’m a firm believer in daddy!az, he loves to spoil you, he’s not a brat tamer but you’re such a good girl for him that he doesn’t have to be. 
Breeding - I think this is an Illyrian trait that he’s a little ashamed of. He loves pumping you full of cum, and pushing it back in. It gets him all hot and bothered to whisper in your ear how hot he thinks you would look full with his child.
Spanking - This male just can’t leave your ass alone…if your butt is out it’s getting slapped. He loves taking you over his knee, panties on at first then spanking you hard until you soak through the fabric.
Dom/Sub - I think he can switch, and does enjoy subbing occasionally, but mostly likes to see your submission to him. He likes the quiet submission, doing up your shoes, cooking you dinner because you’re just his little girl and need him to help you. He also likes to have you kneel at his side whilst he works, head resting on his knee.
This might be a bit out of pocket but I also think he has a teeny bit of a piss kink, but he keeps this to himself unless you are very adventurous. Look SJM said he was a freak alright but everyones afraid to make him really freaky…..
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He’s quite a private male so nowhere you’re likely to get caught. He can be swayed…but it’s at your own risk.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Honestly anything turns him on. You could walk past him and he would grab you by the hips, pull you to his chest and ask if you want to play. What really turns him on though is when you initiate. When you crawl into his lap, all shy like, bat your eyelashes and ask him…daddy, can we play? Cauldron, he’ll be hard before you’ve finished asking.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Azriel isn’t into hurting you too much. He finds scratching, blood play, and anything unnecessarily rough too far and he won’t do it unless you eased him into it. His hard no is fire, anything to do with it, candles and wax play…he won’t go there at all. 
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Look, the man is a giver and is good at it, but god does he love a blowjob. Give Azriel a blow job. He wants it. He’d reward you so good for it. He’s gonna cradle your head and stroke your hair while you do it. Please.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
If it’s a special occasion he might take his time with you, fuck you all romantic, turn on the romance so to speak. But he really prefers to set the pace quite quick, it gets him off better and it probably gets you off better too.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Oh yeah. He’s ready to go at any moment. And he’s got a busy job. Rhys asks him to do things on pretty short notice sometimes and he’s not leaving without a quick fuck. But he won’t do anything particularly kinky unless he’s got time for aftercare, he’s discussed what he wants from it, and has your input on everything involved. Your quickies are more like quick vanilla sex, you love it though, any Azriel is good for you. 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Azriel would not be the kinky male he is if he wasn’t down to experiment. If you have something new for him to try he’s absolutely game, just don’t spring it on him before he’s going away or he’ll be a grumpy boy.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Mm Azriel will last long, but if you touch his wings…man’s going to come prematurely and be sulky about it for the rest of the night. 
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Yes. Azriel has floggers, paddles, ropes, vibrators, (bunny ears and a bunny tail buttplug….). He loves to dress you up. And he’s not shy about using toys to enhance your pleasure. He draws the line at making a mould of his own penis though..and you have asked.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He’s a massive tease. He’s a condescending, teasing, smug asshole. But if you are desperate enough he will grant you relief. He will also listen seriously if you tell him you’re not in the mood for teasing. He only wants to tease if he knows you’re into it. This is why safewords exist guys. Also, and I can’t stress this enough, I firmly believe he would only tease in the bedroom, he’s not one of these guys that wants to see you mad and gets a kick out of it, I find that kind of man repulsive lowkey.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Let. Azriel. Be. Loud. In. Bed. Quiet in the streets, loud in the sheets baby. But anyway yeah he moans a lot, talks a lot, wants you to know how much you turn him on. And he wants you to be the same. He’s not happy until you’re screaming.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Azriel pretends to be cocky about his body but he’s actually a bit embarrassed about getting fully naked around people. This goes away quite quickly when you start worshipping it with your mouth though–
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Big boy…massive boy…he’s girthy and he’s long and Rhys and Cassian can only look and weep.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
High. He wants you all the time, everyday. The mating frenzy was exhausting, I hope your pussy survived.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Look he’s a male, orgasms make him sleepy, but he won’t sleep until you’re tucked up beside him and comfortable. Mans not happy until his baby’s happy.
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raz-writes-the-thing · 5 months
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Tenth Doctor NSFW Alphabet
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Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader 18+ ONLY / requests are open
DW: @nyxiethesimp @quickslvxrr @midnight--raine @blueberry-sunshines @stevekempscocktails @go-bonkers-go-foolish @peytonpenguin37 @yeethaw13 (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)
TENTH DOCTOR NSFW ALPHABET
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Ten is the cuddliest being in the entire universe after sex. Cuddles, kisses, snuggles. He’s basically a barnacle. He adores giving you cuddles just as much as he receives them. I also feel like he’d absolutely adore nuzzling his nose against your jaw and/or neck. 
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His favourite body part of his own are his teeth/hands.
His favourite body part of his partner is their eyes. One of the most important things for him in a partner is their eyes. Being able to see compassion, kindness- love in someone’s eyes. There’s nothing that makes him fall in love faster. 
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Ten can cum a lot. Something to do with Time Lord genetics. When they mate, they mate to conceive (biologically speaking) so whenever Ten ejaculates, there can be a lot if he’s not had any for a while or if he’s been edging. 
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
A dirty secret of Ten’s is how much he fantasises and thinks about rubbing his cock against your clit/dick. It’s one of his favourite things, and he thinks about it way more than he should. He has- on more than one occasion, rubbed his thumb over his sonic screwdriver and thought about putting it inside you too. 
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Ten is experienced. He’s lived for 900-odd years. He hasn’t had a plethora of partners, but he’s had enough (both longer-term and one-night) but he’s experienced enough to know what he’s doing and how to get his partner exactly where he wants them. 
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Missionary. He’s not fancy about it, but he adores being able to look into your eyes as he brings you pleasure. 
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
It depends on the circumstance. Generally speaking, he’s more romantic than goofy, but he also believes that if you can’t laugh with your partner during sex- they’re not the one for you. 
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He’s not shaved, but he’s not unruly either. He’s neat. Trimmed. 
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Ten’s all about the intimacy. He’s all about soft loving looks, hand-holding, and adoring caresses. He’s so romantic (most of the time) that it’s almost sickening. Even when he’s rough, he’s still romantic. Check-ins, kisses, reassuring touches and smooches. 
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Ten tries not to jack off too much since he has you, but he’s not opposed to jacking off in the shower if you’re not in the mood. He also has a bit of a thing for you watching him jack off. There’s just something about it that gets him hot and bothered. 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Hair-pulling. The man is OBSESSED with having his hair pulled. He’s pretty sure he could cum untouched from that. 
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
TARDIS console room or his bedroom are his two favourite places to do it, but he’s not picky. 
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Teasing touches and sultry looks will get Ten going faster than anything. A brush over his shoulders, a light pat on his bum. If he’s feeling dominant, teasing him will definitely get him going. Behaving bratty and ignorant of how your words, looks and touches impact him will definitely have him all over you as soon as possible. 
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Knife or gun-play. It’s not for him. 
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He prefers to give, but he enjoys receiving, too. Mostly when he’s feeling submissive.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Again, depends on the circumstances. If he’s feeling submissive and is receiving, he wants it loving but fast. He wants toys or cocks jackhammering into his ass. If he’s feeling dominant, he likes to make it slower and more sensual in order to tease you. 
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Ten isn’t huge on quickies. He enjoys them, but he’d much rather be able to take his time and really enjoy the moment with you. 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Ten is open to experimentation, but at 900 years old, there’s not much he hasn’t done that isn’t a huge no-no for him. 
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Ten can last about five to seven rounds before he starts to tire. That Time Lord biology does not quit. 
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Ten likes toys. He likes to use them on his partners more than receive, but having you fuck his cock with a fleshlight? Well, lets say that did something to him that he was not expecting. 
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
When he’s dominant, he’s very unfair. Or he can be. It depends on how naughty you’ve been. When he’s submissive, he’s only teasing when he wants to be punished. 
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Ten isn’t super loud, but he’s not opposed to making some noise, either. He’s louder when he’s being edged, for sure. 
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Ten loves to have you ride him. He adores watching you on top of him and taking charge. 
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He’s not super thick, but he is quite a bit longer than the average human. 
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Ten’s sex drive is moderate. He’s not jonesing for it all the time, but he likes a good fuck at least two or three times a week. More if he’s really in the mood. 
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Ten doesn’t really fall asleep very quickly after sex unless he’s gone about eight rounds. That will tire him out like nothing else. Because he doesn’t fall asleep quickly, he likes to brush your hair and lull you to sleep on his chest for a while.
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your-highnessmarvel · 5 months
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Clean Shaven
Requested by @the-kestrels-feather : Hi lovely! I saw your requests were open and thought I'd send one in! Can I get a fluffy Bucky x Reader where Reader shaves him? I'm a firm believer in the inherent intimacy of shaving someone and I have a need 😅 gender neutral!Reader would be preferred, but if you can't/aren't comfortable doing that then Fem!Reader is fine too! Thank you in advance 💕💕
AN: Aw this was the cutest thing ever! I had to do some research because I've never shaved a man before and i was told it was hella specific but turns out - it's not???
Warnings: none, mentions of blood
*gif not mine
MASTERLIST
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"Sit still, will you?"
Bucky looked up at you, smiling from under his brows. "You're holding a razor blade to my neck, y/n," he said. "And you expect me not to move a little?"
You snorted, pressing more shaving cream onto his face, covering his mouth. "You're a hundred-year-old super spy, trained for decades to sustain any type of torture," you answered, dipping the razor into the warm water that filled the sink. "And you can't handle a little razor nick?"
Bucky, unable to open his mouth or he'd swallow shaving cream, just rolled his eyes, grumbling behind his closed lips.
"What's that, grumpy?" you asked sarcastically, inching your ear closer to his mouth.
Quickly, he inched closer until a swath of thick shaving cream transferred onto your ear and you squealed, rearing back. "Oh, you!"
You could see the smile in his eyes, even though the bottom half of his face and neck were slathered in white. He got that crinkle beside his baby blues, that unique look that told you he was just messing around.
And, oh, it had taken you so much time to see that look for the first time, back when you started dating.
"Do you want a shave or not?" you asked, wiping the cream from your hair, from your ear.
Bucky chuckled quietly and nodded.
"For the last time, stand still!"
You approached again, one hand poised on his metal shoulder, the other holding the razor and shaving his cheek and jaw with sharp precision.
This close to him, you could smell his cologne and that unique scent that was his alone.
"You smell so good," you mumbled, shaving around his mouth then dumping the razor into the sink water. You felt Bucky give you a slight tap on the bum and you giggled. "Let me finish shaving you, Buck," you chuckled, lifting his chin to get the underside, sliding along his adam's apple with a crooked grimace on your skin.
"Scared to draw some blood?" he asked, eyes cast to the ceiling, exposed mouth in a slight smile.
You gave him a look even though he couldn't see. "What makes you think I'm scared of blood?"
"That one time Tony got a paper cut and you had to leave the room."
You stood, hands on hips. "That was a really bad paper cut!"
Bucky chuckled, ducking his chin to his chest, shoulder jostling up and down.
You dumped the shaving-cream-full razor into the sink with an exaggerated sigh. "Don't move just yet, I haven't done the left side of your face."
You went to his left side, carefully shaving from his side burns down to his jaw, hearing the low scrape of the blade along his skin. It was satisfying, shaving him, watching the clean, smooth skin appear below the white cream.
You loved his stubble, but a clean shaven Bucky had a special place in your heart.
"You're cute when you're concentrated," Bucky mumbled, staring up at you with dazed eyes as you cleaned the blade.
Returning for the last stripe of white, you kissed the tip of his nose. "You're cute all the time," you answered in a high tone, shaving that last bit and standing back with a smile.
Bucky stood, admiring himself in the mirror. As he pulled a towel to wash his face, he looked at you in the mirror. "Making me look handsome, y/n," he said, winking when you caught his eye. You watched him clean the rest of the shaving cream left and apply his aftershave, loving the way he stretched out his neck, exposing his adam's apple.
You especially loved that tic he did; raising his brows, jutting his lower lip.
He helped you clean up, storing the blade and the shaving cream. Then he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you onto the counter, sitting you so you were eye-to-eye with him.
"Thank you, my love," he murmured, snuggling your neck, pulling you into a tight, warm hug.
464 notes · View notes
eimids · 6 months
Text
Tension
Leah Williamson x reader smut
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Reader is questioning her sexual identity, Leah’s here to help.
warnings: Smutt, first time
Words: 3.3k
Being a 24 year old virgin is hard. Myteamates at arsenal ask me about my sex life quite often but yeah no. Still a fucking virgin.
I just think I'm atill a virgin because I've been questioning my sexual identity forever. Now i'm thinking that I'm romantically attracted to men but I couldn't imagine having sex with a man. That is just a no. But I'm more sexually attracted to females. Although I could imagine being with a female romantically. So I guess that makes me bi? Pan?
I have had mixed feelings about my teammate Leah. She's really pretty and I can't help but glance at her every now and then. There's tension between us.
Sexual tension.
I have never really had anything like this. She's been flirting with me during training and one time we shared a room and I could see her staring at me when I got out of the shower. We have known each other only for 5 months since I moved to arsenal but we are actually gotten quite close.
Today Leah asked me to go to a bar with her. I felt excited but nervous at the same time.
I was running late. When I showered I decided to shave my body just in case anything happens. I had a huge problem with my clothes. I didn't want to be too fancy but I didn't want to look like a bum. I ran outside to my cab and climbed in.
I saw Leah standing next to the bar. She was looking around to see me. I wasn't really sure if other teammates would also be here or not.
Our eyes met and she smiled at me. She waved at me and I walked to her. She was wearing a gorgeous oversized blazer.
"Hi Leah" I said and smiled. I was leaning in for a hug but then I remembered that she really doesn't like hugs.
"Hi y/n. You look gorgeous" Leah said as she checked me out.
"So do you! What are you drinking" I asked and then added "wait don't say. Just ordered me the same that you are having. I'll go to the bathroom real quick" I said and left. Leah looked a little confused.
I was so nervous that I was feeling nauseous. 'Why am I so nervous, she's just a teammate' I thought to myself. I stayed in the bathroom for a while until I was feeling calmer.
"Sorry that you had to wait" I said when I walked back to Leah.
"It's fine y/n. So here is your drink" She said and pushed a drink towards me.
"Thank you. So is this a girl's night or is it just us tonight?" I asked. Still wondering if other teammates like Beth, McCabe and Less would show up.
"Today it's just us. I want to get to know you better since you are the newbie" She said and smirked.
"Hey don't call me that" I said sounding hurt. Of course with sarcasm.
"You are the newbie tho" She teased.
"Fine. But you said you wanted to get to know me. What do you have in mind?" I asked.
"Nothing special. Just want to get to know you. Like where did you grow up, why you decided to join Arsenal and do you have a boyfriend?" She said. I was little taken back by the boyfriend question.
"I grew up in Sweden and England. I moved a lot when I was younger, I wanted to join arsenal so I could get better at the best club. I do not have a boyfriend. Nor girlfriend" I answered her in one breath.
"Slow down y/n. We have all night to talk. Follow up question. Do you like girls?" She asked.
"Yeah I do. I've been questioning my sexuality for so long but yeah I like girls. I mean how can you not. But how about you" I answered.
"I'm lesbian" She said "and single" She added and winked. I blushed a little.
"Would you girls like to have anything else?" The bartender asked suddenly. I noticed that she was looking at me.
"I think we're good" I answered and smiled.
"Well if you need anything just let me know" She said and winked at me. She slid a card to me where was her phone number.
Leah had a weird look on her face. I couldn't figure out what it was until it hit me.
Jealousy.
Leah Wiliamson was jealous because some bartender was flirting with me. I was feeling quite special. From all girls in the world she chose me to go to a bar with.
Leah then put her hand on my knee. Her hand was going little higher as she drew some patterns to my knee. Butterflies filled my stomach again. How was this happening. A literal goddess next to me.
"Y/n I'm gonna be a little forward now" Leah said and I nodded.
"I really want you in my bed. Ever since you joined the team I haven't been able to take my eyes off of you. You are intoxicating. I have always just wanted to kiss you, to have you"
To have me.
I was really wondering if this was real. Leah fucking Wiliamsson telling me that she wants me.
"I... I want you t-too Leah" I said not so smoothly as I thought it would be.
"What about we get out of here?" Leah asked and stood up.
I nodded and she put her hand possessively on the small of my back. We walked to her car and she opened the door for me and then went to the other side of the car to get in.
The ride was full with tension. Neither of us said anything but Leah’s hand was on my upper thigh the whole ride.
I got lost in my thoughts. Suddenly the car stopped and Leah walked to my side of the car and opened the door. She helped me out from the car and we walked inside her apartment building. It was big fancy building.
Once we got to the elevator she pushed me against the wall and smashed our lips together. I kissed her back and we made out intensively in the elevator.
Once we got to the highest floor we entered Leah’s apartment. A fricking penthouse.
"Wow. This is-" i started but Leah closed the door and once again pushed me against the wall.
"Y/n I need to know that you are okay with this?" Leah said with her lips right next to my ear.
I nodded. Not getting any words out of my mouth.
"I need a verbal answer. Are you okay with this?" She asked again.
"Y..Yes Leah" I said and licked my lips.
"Good" She said and attached her lips back to mine.
We made out for a while until she moved her knee to my pussy. I don't know what she did but I let an embarrassing sound from my mouth. She chuckled at me and pulled away.
"Go to my room. I'll be there soon" She said and I started walking. Then I realized that I don't know where her room is in this huge apartment. I was turning around to ask but she said "Down the hall, the last room".
I continued walking to her room. I opened the door and then I was in the most gorgeous room that I have ever been.
I sat on the bed admiring Leah’s room. It was quite dark. There were led lights that brought some light. They were really bright white color. There was two doors on the other side of the room and the other side was just  big window.
I heard steps coming towards the room. My pulse quickened and I felt red creeping on my cheeks. Leah opened the door and walked in. She was now wearing only pants and bra and she was holding two glasses with maybe water in them.
"My god you are beautiful y/n. I can't wait to have you. You are so pretty sitting there. My good girl. You just do things to me. I can't act normal around you at prac" She started. She walked next to me and put her hand on my face and then carefully to my neck.
"Beth has been teasing me about you for months now. She has noticed that I'm different around you" She continued.
"No I'm finally having what I have wanted for months. You" She ended her sentence.
Leah wants me.
Then I began to panic a little. 'Do I need to tell Leah that I'm a virgin. What if I don't know what to do. What if Leah thinks that I'm gross down there' I thought to myself.
Leah obviously noticed me becoming tense.
"Hey what's wrong" She asked.
"Nothing. It's just I.." I started. Do I really have to tell her that I'm a virgin.
"Y/n It's okay. I want you to be comfortable today. I won't do anything you are even the slightest uncomfortable with" Leah said comforting.
"It's just that I...I'm a virgin" I said. The last part was barely a sound. It was so quiet but for my surprise Leah just smiled.
"Well that's even better. I get to be the first one to show you how good you can feel. I get to show you what your body is able to do" She said and started kissing my neck.
"Now tell me y/n, have you ever had an orgasm?" Leah asked. I flushed bright red. Even more red than I was before.
"No" I answered quietly.
"I love that. I get to be the first one to show you what an orgasm feels like. And don't be so embarrassed, it's okay y/n. Relax a little" Leah said. And kissed my lips softly.
"I think you are little too dressed for this occasion" Leah said and flipped me over. She unzipped my dress and carefully removed it from my body. She then flipped me back so I was looking at her.
"God you are beautiful y/n" She said and put her hand gently around my neck.
"Today I'm gonna make you feel things that you have never felt. I'm gonna make you come over and over again. But now you need an safe word. When you say the word I promise I will stop everything I'm doing. You can say it if something hurts or if things feel just uncomfortable. I want you to enjoy this night" Leah said.
"I don't know. What should it be?" I asked confused
"Well it can be anything. Something that you will remember" Leah answered. She was kissing my neck.
"Umm Rose? It has spikes and it's red so I associate it with danger usually. It's also my favorite flower" I answered I was starting to ramble but then I decided to try to touch Leah put she pinned my hands above my head.
"Rose it is. Whenever you say that I promise I'll stop what i'm doing. And please if anything is uncomfortable tell me. We can take things slower. But now you are being really inpatient, aren't you" Leah said and licked her lips.
"Please can I touch you Leah?" I asked.
"Not yet Princess" She answered and my heart fluttered and the nickname. Leah continued kissing me. She unclasped my bra and threw it away. She swirled her tongue around my nipple and I just moaned. I couldn't help the sound leaving my mouth.
"Mhmm don't stop Lee. It feels good" I said breathing heavily.
"You are already moaning and I have barely touched you" Leah said and sucked my nipple. The words that Leah said made me wetter than I already was.
"Lee please I need more" I asked pleading.
"I know you want more but I promise you will feel even better if we do this slowly" Leah said and then started kissing my stomach. She went lower and lower until she was at my panties.
"Is it okay if I take these off?" She asked and immediately answered yes.
She used only her mouth to take them off. She threw them somewhere and then kissed my inner thighs. I was feeling super needy and I wanted her already to fuck me already.
"Please Lee. Please just please" I begged.
"Is my girl needy. You want to know how my mouth feels on your clit and my fingers inside you?" She asked.
"Yes. I want you to fuck me. Please" I said. I was feeling so weird. Everything was too much but not enough at the same time.
"Oh god Lee” I yelled when I finally felt her mouth sucking on my clit. She swirled her tongue around it at the same time. Just that could have made me explode.
She then dipped one finger in me easily. She tested if I was wet enough and the she pushed another in me.
"God yes!!" I moaned loudly. My breathing became heavier as something started happening inside me.
Leah was going a slow pace with her first tongue. She flicked it on my clit before starting a faster pace. Her fingers slowly curling so they were touching more of my insides. Then they hit a spot that made my back arch and my body felt like it was on fire.
"Fuck Leah right there. YESS" I yelled but Leah slowed down her pace. She then stopped and straddled me again.
"Don't come until I tell you to" She said and I was about to protest and then her thigh touched my clit and I moaned.
Leah smiled as she was looking at me. She slowly started to move her body and I started to grind on her thigh. My mouth opened and moans left it.
I was so vulnerable for Leah. I just wanted to pleaseher and not come but I was so close. Leah was controlling me but in a good way.
"Please" I whined.
"Not yet y/n" She said and brought her hand to my cunt and pushed her fingers inside again.
She was going fast with her fingers and again she started flicking my clit. Then she curled her fingers against the same spot that already made my back arch.
"Leah, I-I need t..to come" I was shaking under her. The feeling was so strong.
"Now. Do it. Come for me Princess" Leah said and I let the most ungodly sound. I felt like my body was on fire as it shook. Leah’s fingers were still moving inside of me. I tried to control the shocks going through my body but all I could do was moan.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck.." I moaned as the white continued to cover my vision.
I cried out nonsense. My body was trembling with the overwhelming feeling. My pyssy was stretching and tightening around Leah’s fingers with every thrust.
Slowly I felt every movement stop. I could only hear Leah’s breathing and my own. My body felt numb but in the best way possible.
"Wow, that was... that was wow" I mumbled while panting.
Leah laughed a little. My body was still shaking.
"You were so good my princess. I know I keep telling you this but you are so incredibly beautiful. Especially when you come" Leah said and kiss my lips. It was more sensual, more gentle.
"Can- can I do that again?" I asked curiously.
"Yeah you can. I can make you come many more times but I bet you are really sensitive right now" She said and swiped my clit gently. I buckled my hips. My clit in fact was sensitive.
"But i wanna feel that again" I said pouting.
"Hmm I have an idea but I wanna know that you are 100% comfortable with it" Leah said and I nodded. Curious what she had in mind.
"I have a strap in that closet. Do you know what it is?" Leah asked and I nodded.
"What if we use that?" Leah suggested and once again I nodded.
"Princess give me a verbal answer" Leah said softly.
"Yes Lee, I want that" I needed something so badly I could have cried.
She then stood up and walked to the closet. She finally took her pants off and put the harnest on. She then walked back to me and layed next to me. She flipped me so I was on top of her next to the fake penis.
"Are you sure about this?" She asked
"100%. I promise" I answered.
"Good girl" Leah said and the praise made my heart beat faster. She grabbed lube from her nightstand and put it on the strap. It was now nice and slippery.
"Okay princess, Whenever you are ready" Leah said and put her hands in my hips.
I got on top of the strap and slowly started going down. Leah’s strong hands were supporting me as I slide down the dick. It was stretching me perfectly.
When it was fully in me tears started to form in my eyes because of the pleasure. I waited for a while to be comfortable and then I moved up slightly and then back down.
"Fuck. Lee, I feel so full. You are making me feel so full" I moaned.
"You are doing so good baby" Leah said and I moved my body against the dick. It hit so many good spots. She started to lift me slowly up and down on the strap.
I felt tears coming down from my eyes as I was slowly bouncing on the strap. Leah was praising me but I really couldn't hear them because I was so focused on chasing my orgasm.
I started to bounce faster and faster on the strap. Leah looked surprised at my pace.
"I- I-I'm gonna cum" I said and my eyes rolled to the back of my head.
I kept bouncing on the strap and I brought my hand to rub my clit. Everything was perfect. Everything felt so good but little overwhelming.
Then it happened again. My body started to shake uncontrollably and I felt like million little shocks were going trough my body. I came hard on the strap. I could feel liquid come out of me.
Leah’s hands supported me as I really couldn't control my body.
"Rose. Rose" I quickly said when everything was too much. Tears in my eyes.
Leah immediately flipped us over and took the strap out of me. My body still shook a little because it was still climaxing.
"You are okay princess" Leah said and took the harness off. She then took a blanket and covered our bodies with it. She wrapped her arms around me as I came from my high.
"Are you okay?" She asked?
"Yeah. It was just little too much but wow it felt good" I said and laughed.
"Thank you for telling me that it was enough. And I'm glad you enjoyed it" She said and smiled. I smiled back at her and quickly fell asleep on her arms.
"Wake up. We are here" I heard. I opened my eyes and I was in a car. The car was parked in front of a bar. I was in a cab. 'What is going on?' I thought until I realized.
It was all a dream.
——
This is actually a fic i have written some time ago but i decided to post it here.
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doki-doki-imagines · 11 months
Text
Tags: smut, AFAB reader, oral sex (reader receiving), choking (male receiving)
author comment: here I am again. I always fall for the same rabbit hole that is Michael Kaiser. Save me. Meanwhile I hope you'll enjoy reading this.
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"Needier than usual honey-" The blonde guy under you sing-sang "Missed your boyfriend's cock so much?" You hate when Michael acts like that, mostly because he is right. You missed your boyfriend so much it made your skin itch, you just wanted your breaths to mix, to have his hot lips on yours, to put your tingling hands on him. That’s why when Michael put a foot into your shared apartment, you just took his hand and pulled him into the bed, sat on his lap for a make-out that didn’t last as long as your boyfriend would have liked to, pushed him flat on the mattress, blonde hair sprawled on fresh covers, and with his usual annoying smirk framing his face, kitty-like eyes playful and ready to tease you.
Here you are now, tracing the engorged vein on his neck, your lips plump and stinging from the previous make-out session, your tongue lapping at his neck, softly sucking and kissing his pale skin, you'd like to go slower, to enjoy fully your partner's body after so long, but you really can't and maybe Michael can't too, the erratic rolls of his crotch into your warm core so soon a telltale sign that maybe he missed you too, hidden under all that arrogance. "Slow down liebe, I'm not going anywhere" You feel his strong hand on the back of your head, his fingers twitching in your hair trying not to hurt you. Fuck you wish you'd be able to slow down. You bite his freshly shaved neck, you can taste his sweat and feel his pulse, his cock twitching under your covered core, the thin undergarments you’re wearing the only barrier between your bodies. Meanwhile, Michael groans under you, trying to turn his head to loosen your grip on his neck, his tattoed hand grips your right thigh, making your rock harder on his lap, while the other hand grips your bum as hard as he can, squeezing and slapping, the sound a melody in his ears.
“Fuck Micha-“ a whimper escapes your mouth “I want you, want you all” A harsher slap hit your butt and you both groan.
“On my face, sit on my-fuck” Michael doesn’t even finish the phrase, already pushing your thighs towards his face, his index hooked on your panties, revealing finally your pussy.
“Cover your mouth and I’ll stop, you’re warned” He’s dead serious, Michael’s blue eyes so intense and your brain so inebriated that you can only nod.
Michael’s tongue is eager, licking your pussy like the finest beverage of his life, good enough to make you grip his hair and push him impossibly close to you, riding his tongue and setting the rhythm, your body squirming, more desperate than you’re both used to. You would be worried about suffocating him if Michael wasn’t so insistent on keeping your hips anchored on his face, his tongue never sitting still, his nose wrinkled and his pupils blown in ecstasy; he loves so much being used by you.
The orgasm is so near that some tears start to roll down your face, you lick some away and at that moment you feel it, his hips grinding into the air, his cock slapping onto his abdomen, precum already staining his abs.
“Micha!-Stop, I wanna-“
“I know liebe, fuck-shit-“ You try to pull away, but his strong hands don’t give you enough space for movement “just a tiny bit more-“ You finally pushed your core away from his face, but his tongue is following your warm pussy, his hot muscle licking thin air, a string of your pleasure still link you.
“Wanna cum on your dick Micha-“ The groan he lets out after hearing your words can’t even be described as sinful; it isn’t enough.
“Fuck, hop on my dick like a horny bunny, show your emperor how much you want to be fucked dumb” You almost want to cry when he finally penetrates you, he is stretching you so good it’s almost hard to breathe, the broken breath you hear after grinding on him a clear sign that your boyfriend is on your same boat.
“Liebe I won’t last long, you are so tight, fuck- choke me!” And you do, your fingertips follow the thorns on his arms, and the touch lingers a little before you grip his neck with both your soft hands.
You do as he taught, thumbs under his Adam’s apple, fingers tightening on his jugulars hard enough to fog his brain, soft enough to hear the safe word.
But you must be doing a good job, his eyes rolled back, and the meow he let out a telltale sign of his impending orgasm.
His hips stutter under yours, a slow rhythm is long forgotten, he manhandles your hips upwards so he can reach that point, the one that will make you cry harder, make you sigh like a fool for his cock meanwhile, his sinful broken moans give you goosebumps, you both losing yourself in the throes of pleasure.
Your thighs give in too tired to keep going, but Michael has long regained control, his hips doing most of the work, abusing your sopping wet hole so fast you almost jump off him, the indents of his fingers will leave nasty bruises on your skin.
It’s when you are near your apex that you let go of his neck, red bruises already evident on his neck even under the tattoo, fingers crawling to his cheek to hold his face, the softest gesture ‘till now. He looks at you, shocked to have his airways free so early, he tilts his head a bit, looking for your next move, but never slowing down his thrusts.
“I missed you so much, darling” It’s soft, almost a whisper and Michael can still hear it, the sadness, the loneliness, the weight those words carried. Sadly the blonde’s brain is fucked too good to be able to form a coherent sentence, thank God his heart gave him a helping hand.
He lifts himself up and kisses you, lips slotted with yours eating every broken moan you make, hands now pushing you into his hard body, slotted perfectly, mouths never leaving each other, oxygen useless when you can both live off your shared love.
That’s how you both cum, in each other arms, copious tears rolling down your cute face, fat droplets of sweat on your partner’s face.
“I missed you too liebe” He swipes the hair that stick on your face, his voice as sweet as honey. You nod and feel some other tears staining your face, you kiss him again, hard, you want to imprint the memory of his lips on yours. Michael kisses you with equal passion, rolling you under his body, breaths heavy and still broken.
But you both know the night ahead of you is still long.
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fredwkong · 10 months
Text
Lotto Ticket Wish
You had been on a bit of a dry spell when I appeared before you. Your small town didn’t have a lot of dating options for a pretty average young gay guy like you—basic white boys are a dime a dozen. You had gone out with every guy you liked on Tinder, been catcalled more than you could count on Grindr, and Scruff wasn’t even in the cards as long as you couldn’t grow a beard. You were bumming around the bowling alley—it was the only place in town open after 8—when you spotted me.
For you, I took the form of an arcade lotto machine. Insert a coin, receive a random ticket with a prize printed on it. You were confused, since you’d never seen me before, but you were bored and horny and nothing interested was happening. You inserted your coin, and I printed out your prize:
FAME. GLORY. PLEASURE. SPEAK YOUR WISH NOW AND SEE IT GRANTED. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.
You chuckled. Typical arcade shit, you thought. “I wish I was a hunk!” you said aloud, and laughed to yourself again. Well, maybe it was worth the coin for the laugh. You pocketed your ticket and headed home.
That night, while you slept, your wish came true. First, a dark spot appeared on your fingertip where you had held your wish ticket. The darkened skin raced over your hand, leaving your small pale hand larger, thicker, and dark, a rich brown shade. Thick, black hairs grew on the back of your hand and fingers. The change continued up your arm, which began to bulge with muscle and veins. You flexed your hand in your sleep, and new strong tendons shifted under brown, hairy skin as your bicep peaked into a mound like a baseball.
Your shoulder rounded out into a thick, capped delt, and a forest of thick hair grew in your armpit. You wrinkled your nose at the musky, spicy scent that started to emerge, but your sleep quickly calmed into a sexy dream of sniffing a musky, dark-skinned armpit. Meanwhile, your chest thickened into a set of huge, rounded pecs with dark, pert nipples. Dark, curly hairs grew in and immediately became soaked with sweat, adding to the spicy stench in the air. The transformation proceeded down your other arm, until it was the perfect match. You shifted in your sleep, sending your nose into your other rank armpit.
As the skin of your belly darkened, fat evaporated away and six thick abs swelled out of your midsection. Your whole torso thickened with sturdy back muscles. All this extra mass made you sweat even more in your sleep.
A thick treasure trail grew from your belly down to your pubes, which darkened and thickened, as the skin tautened and turned black. Your balls swelled, causing you to shift your legs in your sleep and let your new bulging sac rest lower. Your cock thickened and grew, quickly slipping out of your boxers to reach down toward your knee. As your cockflesh darkened, you grew a thick, well-stretched foreskin, which released a cheesy smell into the air as you dreamed of tongue-washing an Indian hunk’s balls.
Your ass grew as well, rounding out as a thick, muscular cushion rather than a flat pad. Your boxers became so tight they might as well be briefs, the fabric stretched thin enough that the thick hairs swirling over your ass became visible. As the transformation continued down your legs, quads, hamstrings and calves grew, darkened, and became covered in sweaty hair. Your feet stretched and the soles thickened.
Finally, the transformation proceeded up your neck. Your neck and Adam’s apple thickened, causing you to release a deep grunt in your sleep. Your hair darkened to shiny black and became wavy, falling perfectly into a slick, masculine style. Your skin cleared and became brown, and your brows thickened and lowered, giving your now dark eyes a hooded, mysterious look. Finally, your nose widened slightly as your jawline sharpened, becoming coated in dark stubble that would grow back in minutes if you ever shaved.
The musky smell of your new Indian body swirled around your bedroom, subtly changing the space. In place of your desk appeared a set of adjustable weights. Your bookshelf became a full length mirror. A Hindi self-help poster appeared over your now-simple, masculine bed. Your closet filled with gym gear, with some formal kurta for when you visited your family in Chandigarh.
You woke at sunrise and wrinkled your nose at the smell permeating your nose. “Bro, what the fuck,” you muttered, in a deep, Hindi-accented voice. You made to hop out of bed, but as soon as your thick legs moved apart, your overstretched boxers tore at the groin, letting your oversized cock and balls spill out.
For a moment, you gaped at your thick new uncut cock and swollen, churning balls, then you jumped to your feet. Using your new strong hands you ripped the tattered boxers off and caught a glimpse of your magnificent body in the mirror.
You had certainly become a hunk! The sight of your bulging muscles and Indian good looks brought your cock to full attention, and you instinctively started to jerk off. The smell of your unwashed, weeping cock mixed with the spicy musk your body gave off, and before long you were close. You watched in the mirror as you bounced your sweaty, hirsute muscles and licked your musky armpit. Finally, you exploded, coating the mirror with a huge load.
In an instant, you felt a burst of knowledge flood into your head. You suddenly began to think in Hindi, and translating your thoughts into English became more difficult. You realised that you were the hottest stud in town, especially with your hunky Indian looks and deep, Hindi-accented voice. You knew how to make a perfect homemade Indian meal, and also how to totally dominate any white boy you wanted. You were about to be king of the town.
You grabbed some of the clothes scattered on the floor. A jock, gym shorts, and yesterday’s tank top should be fine. You gave yourself a quick sniff test: the perfect level of unadulterated sweaty musk for a morning gym session. After all, there would probably be some jockboy there who couldn’t wait to get a taste of Raj, the musky Indian stud, and the hottest commodity in town.
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Just as you were about to leave your room, you noticed your wish ticket lying on the floor. You picked it up, and wondered if the wish-granting lotto machine was still at the bowling alley…
Idea with assistance from the genie-bot by @mystrangetfs.
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ddejavvu · 8 months
Note
mei in the addition to the last poly marauders blurb, please give us something of james shaving readers legs for her!! <3
James pays special attention to the thin, fragile skin that smooths over the backs of your knees, careful as he drags the razor across its expanse not to nick it. He'd accidentally cut you the first time you'd ever let him shave your legs, and he still apologizes on a weekly basis.
"Almost done?" You ask him, turning your head to see him where he's kneeling behind you and trying to keep your legs still. However, a muscle in them must shift, because he hisses, and all of a sudden the razor isn't against your skin anymore.
"Darling!" He admonishes, no malice in his tone although it's slightly louder than usual, "Please don't move, I can't handle cutting you again."
"It's fine," You insist, and your scoff is meant endearingly, you swear, "Jamie, if it's too nerve-wracking, I can do it."
"M'fine," He swats away your hand when you reach for the razor, "Just keep still, okay angel?"
"Okay," You sigh, leaning forwards so that your head is pressed against the cool tile of the shower wall. James gets back to work, tantalizingly slow and careful as he drags the blade over your skin, chopping away at the tiny, thin hairs there.
"You can go a little faster," You grumble when your head begins to hurt from being smashed to the wall.
"Patience," James chides, taking the razor off of your skin to pinch your ass, expecting the jolt that comes after it along with your startled yelp.
"Hey!" You gush, spinning around in the shower to glare indignantly, but amusedly down at him, "I thought you didn't want to hurt me."
"You big baby, that didn't hurt." He teases, his large hands coming up to spin you again so that he can press an apology kiss to the skin of your bum that he'd pinched only seconds before. He can't resist nipping there, too, a slight tug of his teeth at your skin, but he holds your thighs steady so you can't escape again.
"Alright, stand still darling, for real this time." His tongue slides over his lips as he focuses back on the shaving cream smeared over the back of your legs, "Gotta get back to my Boyfriend Duties."
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johnwickb1tsch · 2 months
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bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 20 all chapters
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gif credit to dilfgifs
WARNING: NSFW, SEXUAL CONTENT, YANDERE SH!T. Plz take care. I luv u all. 😘
-You try to go as long as you can, but later that night you decide you just can’t stand it anymore. You’re pretty sure it’s been days, and you feel gross.
“Can I…use your shower?”
He turns to you with a small smile. “You mean, our shower? Yes.”
Hoping that’s the end of it, and this exchange won’t get weird, you slip out from under his arm to go into the bathroom. You check your prospects, finding expensive shampoo, conditioner, bodywash, shaving gel…but no razor. You guess you get it, kind of, but really. Then again, maybe you'd better not ask. Why send mixed signals by shaving off your body hair? It’s just an aesthetic mostly catering to the male gaze anyway…
But it bugs you.
You pop your head back out of the door. “Razor?”
He doesn’t even look up from his book.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
This annoys you for some reason. “Just so you know, I am not going to try to kill myself.” Brave words for someone in your situation, but at least at the moment, you mean them.
“I was more worried you might try to kill me.”
You open your mouth again, until he fixes you with that laser-like stare. “Just take your shower, y/n, or do I have to come in there to help you?”
The thought of his large hands on your body slick with soap sends an inconvenient spear of desire straight to your center.
“No.”
You disappear fast as a groundhog into its burrow, closing the door behind you.
“Door open!” he yells in that particular tone, and sensing the shift in his mood, you comply rather than pull his tail some more.
Well done, you, you chide yourself as you strip out of your dirty dress and your ACE bandage in the cavernous shower. He was actually in a good mood, somehow, after you tried to knock his head off with a book. And now you…what? You did something to piss him off, at least a little bit.
Learning his moods was going to take some doing.
It was the only way you were getting out of here alive.
You keep looking over your shoulder, half expecting to see him looming behind you. That man moves silent as a ghost when he feels like it.
It’s creepy. And…kind of hot, if you’re being honest, but that is not a helpful thought.
You feel a thousand times better with all the grime washed from your hair and your body. You wrap yourself in a big fluffy towel that feels like a cloud on your skin, and put off going into the bedroom by drying your hair.
There are products on the sink that you use, face lotions and hair creams, and more expensive versions of the same type that you could never afford. How did he know?
Then again, he has fucking gorgeous hair, he probably knows more about styling product than you do.   
You turn to look at his handiwork upon your bum. The bruise is a red and purple swirl nearly the size of your fist. You can actually see the neat lines of his teeth marks. “Jesus Christ.”
His eye was going to heal way before that was.
When you can’t really dawdle in the bathroom anymore, you war with the next conundrum.
Fresh clothes.
Fuck it. You march out, heading for the closet without making eye contact with the reclining leopard on the bed. You can feel his eyes on you, and fuck if it doesn’t turn you on to be watched like that. Like you are some kind of prize to be desired.
It feels utterly insane to you, to say the least. You’re not that beautiful, but he looks at you like you’re Helen of Troy.  
With your hand on the closet door John clears his throat pointedly.
You know you can’t ignore him. Risking his wrath while you’re wrapped in nothing but a bath towel is so not a good idea.
You turn to find he’s laid something out at the foot of the bed for you already.
“Wear this,” he says. It’s an order clothed in velvet. Polite, but…you sense the unyielding directive underneath.
You pad on bare feet to the foot of the bed. It’s a silky lavender nightie with lace at the bodice. Nothing too wacky. No embarrassing peep holes or extraneous straps. You are somewhat relieved.
Until you see the underwear he’s paired with them.
Your underwear, as a matter of fact.   
Those went missing a long time ago.
Speechless, you look to him, knowing you look like a fish out of water but unsure what to say.
This has been going on for way longer than you even knew, and you didn’t have a clue.
“You took these from my apartment.” You manage not to yell it.
“I didn’t want you to wear them for anyone but me.” He has the cheek to sound grouchy about it, like you did something wrong.
You feel your temper rising like the mercury in a thermometer. You know you’re going to say something stupid, but you just don’t know how to keep it in.
“How. Fucking. Dare you?”
He just sighs, like he already knows how this is going to go. “Don’t play this game with me, baby.”
You bite down on the impulse to demand he not call you baby.
“You could have just…asked me out. I would have said yes, you know?”
He actually looks away as you tell him this.
“Maybe you would have. Until you realized I’m just a bitter old man, and you would have left me.”
You blink at that. How can he be so smart, and yet so blind?
“I knew you were a bitter old man all along! But you know what? I liked you anyway. I thought you were interesting, and funny, and so fucking handsome, and I wanted to fuck you. But now…” You clench your fists, shaking with all the vitriol you know you can’t unleash on this unpredictable man.
This unpredictable killer.
He takes your fury, seemingly nonplussed. You’re not sure any of it registers at all, and it takes some of the wind out of your sails. “This isn’t love, John,” you say quietly, your throat tightening with every syllable. “Love is…having the courage to bare your heart to the sword, and take what comes. You can’t control it like this.”
He tilts his head at this, a wave of that lovely dark hair covering his face. You get the feeling like he’s hiding from you, when he does that.
Finally he asks, “Have you ever been stabbed, y/n?”
Your heart skips a beat, as you wonder if he’s threatening you. “No.”
“Well let me tell you. It fucking hurts.”
Then he reaches down the bed to pluck up the panties, sticking them in his pocket. “I guess I’ll just keep these. You’re not going to need them anyway.”
You glare daggers at him.
He offers you the slightest, smuggest, smile.
“You sonofabitch.”
“Watch that mouth, kitten. Unless you want me to fill it up with something else.”
You bare your teeth with the thought. “I fucking dare you,” you spit, snatching up the nightie to take it to the bathroom to change.
“Nuh uh,” he interjects. “Change here.”
You freeze in your tracks, understanding exactly what he’s demanding of you.
This is how it’s going to be, you tell yourself. He’s going to be sweet, and then he’s going to be insufferable, and if you’re not careful, he’ll get downright mean. Don’t be fooled by the sweet moods, because all the rest is just beneath the surface waiting.
It was so hard to remind yourself of that, when he was being good to you.
You don’t turn around. You moonlighted as a drawing model after college. You can handle this, right? He’s already seen parts of you anyway…
It’s soooooooooo much different than being in that classroom, when you undo your towel and let it fall to the floor. You can feel the weight of his gaze on your bare form. In the end, knowing it’s just your backside, that he’s already gotten way more than an eyeful of…doesn’t really help. With shaking hands you quickly you pull the nightie over your head.
You hope he feels guilty about the size of that fucking bruise, but you have a feeling he probably likes seeing his marks on you.
“Come here.” He practically purrs, and your flesh aches for the sound. Fuck.
You turn to face him, but do not move. Once again, that glorious boner is making an appearance. It’s almost flattering, how often this man has a hard-on when he’s around you. If this had been a normal relationship, you would have made it your mission to oblige him at every opportunity, just to see what the old man could take.
As it is…all you want to do is fight him, and you know you are destined to lose.
He pats his thigh, as though he expects you to sit on his lap. Without underwear. Or a bra. Or a sense of self-preservation.
You shake your head no with the glitter of moisture in the corners of your eyes. You’ve never felt so helpless in your life, and you hate it.
 He frowns at your defiance. My god, no one can do a forbidding frown, like Mr. John Wick. It lodges your heart in your throat, even while you find him magnificent.
“Are you going to make me make you?”
And there it is.
You sigh, and you feel like a piece of your soul exits your body. Good. Good, be empty. He can’t hurt an empty husk.
“I guess so.”
You close your eyes, and you wait. You wait for his rough hands, for the violence that is surely coming to you. You shake like a leaf, unable to stop. You don't know why you'd allowed yourself to hold out some hope, that maybe he really wasn't going to hurt you.
Yet, it does not come.
You open your eyes to find him still frowning at you. He hasn’t moved a muscle.
The longest three seconds of your life tick by. You count them in your thundering heartbeats, and then he scoots over on the bed. “Fine. Come lay by me then.”
You are shocked to your toes. You forget how to move. 
“Now.” He snaps his fingers, pointing to the bed beside him, and you scurry over before he loses his patience with this kinder offer. Cautiously you crawl up beside him, and when he holds up his arm you understand the cue, snuggling into his side with your head on his shoulder. 
Alright, this, you can do. 
This feels almost…normal. The way your head fits into the divot of his shoulder is just…divine, if you’re being honest, and your body shudders as you suppress a sob, hiding your face against his chest. It’s not fair, that you still want him so much, and you mourn for the promise of sweetness that was snatched from your table before you ever really got a chance to taste it.
“Shh,” he soothes, touching your hair, his big hand dwarfing the crown of your head. “I’ll try to remember to be patient with you.”
You nod against him, wanting to believe him, knowing that makes you a sad little fool.
“But my patience has its limits. Remember that, kitten.”
Oh. You weren’t going to forget.
He continues to hold you, and eventually your heart slows, the tension in your body finally relaxing.
It’s incredible, really, how you just can’t leave well enough alone.
Now that you’ve both calmed, you feel bold enough to ask, “John?”
“Yeah, baby?” His lips on the top of your head make your eyelids flutter, it’s so sweet.
“Do you…at least know that it was wrong, to break into my apartment?” You feel like the answer to this one question will help you gauge everything about his state of mind.
He is silent for a long time. Long enough to let your imagination run rampant with the things he might do to punish you for this impertinence, after he was so generous as to just let you lay down with him and snuggle.
Yet there’s no anger in his voice when he answers, “Yeah. But I’ve been breaking the law my whole life, sweetheart, and no one’s stopped me yet.”
It’s the truth, and a nice neat little warning, all wrapped up in one.
You should be scared again, but you just sigh against his chest. Maybe you’ve used up whatever hormone is responsible for adequate fear responses for the day. Or maybe…his games are working on you already, claiming your sanity inch by inch.
You lay there in his arms, and eventually you start to doze. He strokes your hair, a sweet and lulling touch that makes you curl your toes. When those featherlight fingertips find their way to the back of your neck, and the tops of your shoulders, you cannot help but squirm. In your half-asleep state, this is your kryptonite, and your leg tangles with his, your pelvis pressing against his hip. It feels like the most natural thing in the world, to crane your head towards him.
Only when you feel him shift to lean towards you for a kiss, do you realize what you are doing.
You turn your head at the last second, and his grip on you tightens from comforting to bruising in a nanosecond. “Wait—”
He has you on your back before you can blink.
 “Are we still pretending you don’t want me, kitten?”
“I…”
Suddenly his hand is between your legs, manhandling you like he owns you, raking up your thigh to swipe at your folds. He finds you soaking wet with slick, of course, and he makes a point to press your clit with his thick fingers as he withdraws. It sends an agonizing jolt of desire spreading through the cradle of your hips, the ache in your stupid little cunt nigh unbearable. You hardly recognize the keening sound that escapes your mouth.
Was that you?
It worsens ten-fold as you watch him bring his fingers to his lips, sucking them clean. “Tastes like lies to me.”
Goddammit.
“John…”
You can hardly believe it, when he slides off of the bed, leaving you cold and alone, confused and filled with desire. The pulsing ache between your legs drowns out any rational thoughts you might have had a moment ago.
“Little liars don’t get to cum. I’ll let you think about that tonight.”
You feel like you did that night in Italy, watching him walk out the door when all you really want is to feel his thick, insatiable cock teeming inside you.
Which is fucking insane, of course.
And you were thinking he might be the crazy one?
 “Same rules, sweetheart. Don’t you dare touch yourself tonight. I’ll fucking know.”
With one last baleful look over of his shoulder he touches his hand to the lock, and sweeps out of the room. He leaves you stunned on the bed, disheveled and unsure, once again, of what the fuck just happened?
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lxvvie · 13 hours
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Okay but like the intimacy that is shaving Simon / Alex’s face?? Unmatched
-drama nonnie
It's very intimate. Like sitting on their laps intimate.
And in Simon's case, intimidating, because he's staring into your soul.
Deep into your soul.
Also, knowing his ass, he probably likes to shave with a straight razor. Probably also wearing sweatpants with no boxers so Little Lt. Riley is saying hello from under your bum.
Alex is the one who isn't taking shit seriously and his hands are either on your hips or on your ass 'cause he fucking loves the way you feel in his hands. And he keeps making you laugh, too. Alex, please. 😳
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pseudowho · 5 months
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The Accumulation of Little Despairs
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(help me find the Nanami artist in the banner, for crediting and thanks/permission!)
Pure Nanami Kento fluff, written as per request for @nn-hh192 who is needing a bit of love.
As the Reader struggles with low mood, Nanami is on hand with the perfect words and the perfect date.
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Nanami Kento understood how depression could build slowly. At his least resilient, every small insult to his stability of mind was placed on his shoulders like a rock. Before he knew it, he was a broken man.
He watched this accumulation of despairs in you as the winter rolled in. Struggling to make it out of bed in the dark mornings, you missed your train. You had a needless argument with a co-worker. You saw tales of war and genocide, thousands of miles away, and felt so helpless. Your clothes didn't fit the way they used to. You noticed more and more people, homeless and cold on the streets, and there was not enough of you to help.
As you started to see your world through a grey filter, Kento did all he could to love you, to take the pressure off you. You were barely lifting a finger at home, but not needing to because Kento had it all in hand. He tried to talk to you, to encourage you to open up to him, but you were too numbed to engage. He watched as the fiercely independent you, became tired and listless, and it broke his heart.
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You woke, bleary-eyed, to warm kisses on your temple, and the mattress shifting beside you. You smelled Kento's warm morning smell, and buttery pastries and coffee. Nosing your way over to Kento under the covers, he chuckled as your hand reached out, patting around for food.
"We're going out today," he said, sipping his coffee as you groaned, "and you're in no way obliged to smile about it. But I think we'll have a good day."
You groaned again, a noise of pure disagreement. Giving you an affectionate squeeze through the duvet, Kento remained quietly present while you ate and drank.
"Where are we going? Can it wait?" you wheedled. Going out would mean getting dressed and pretending to be fine. You were sure you didn't have it in you.
"It's a surprise," Kento reassured smoothly, patting your bum as you scooted to the bathroom. Soaking in a hot bath, you psyched yourself up for pretending to be enjoying yourself.
Kento was a quiet flurry of activity, you heard outside the bathroom door. He slid soon after into the bathroom, looking everything but his usual neat and trimmed self. He hadn't shaved, dark blond shadows adorning his handsome face. His hair was soft and floppy, unstyled. He wore his oldest black jeans and jumper, comfy boots, and a big black wool overcoat. Puzzled, you raised an eyebrow at him as he held out a towel for you.
"Come on. Time to go." You wrapped yourself up, going to get dressed, the pressure of looking your best significantly lessened by your lover looking so...sloppy. Opting to match his dour palette, you were soon wrapped up, make-up free, warm, and he gripped your hand, pulling you out the door with no arguments.
Kento had set the engine running, warming the car up in advance and you sighed as you climbed in, glasses steaming up, nose red from the cold. You realised with a jolt, seeing the car clock, that it was already early afternoon.
"You left me in bed so long," you chastised Kento softly. He hummed, taking your cold little hands in his and pressing them gently to the warm air vents.
"You seemed to need it. Besides, where we're going, it's more fun when the sun's going down." Car sliding back out of the driveway, Kento's arm stretched round the back of your seat, you blushed, still having such a crush on him despite being together for years. As he drove, he put on a playlist he seemed to have made to match your mood perfectly. A warm coffee cup was pressed into your hands. Your eyes pricked with tears, feeling ungrateful that despite all his best efforts, you still did not feel happy.
Reading you so easily, Kento squeezed your hand, bringing it onto his thigh, stroking your palm. He kept his eyes on the road as he spoke to you, "I'm not under the impression that one lovely day out is going to make all of this go away for you, so don't feel pressured into being cured. I just think you deserve this. I want you and your company even when you're not feeling your best." He reached over, wiping a few small tears from your cheeks as you sniffled, handing you a handkerchief. You laughed, tickled that your love was absolutely the kind of man to carry handkerchiefs.
You parked, walking arm in arm through the cold, boots crunching on old snow, to a busy covered market. Sizzles, shouts, and the delicious smell of street food poured out to you. Nobody was well-dressed. The food looked invitingly homely. Despite your recent breakfast, your stomach rumbled.
Kento surveyed the food stalls, rapping your hand in his against his thigh as he hummed. "I was thinking...a bit of everything.". You laughed, not realising how completely serious he was when he visited a dozen food stalls, one after the other. By the time you had found a table, your arms were laden with food trays and you shared a long meal, talking about everything and nothing, at points stretching out minutes of comfortable silence as you people-watched in each other's company. Full to bursting, Kento warmed considerably, seeing small smiles start to grace your lips, enjoying your eyes twinkling as you teased him. He'd take every tease you gave to see you smile again.
"Ready?" Kento pressed, hand out to you, fingers wiggling.
"For what?"
Kento shook his pocketed hand, which was heavy with jangling change. "Arcades," he whispered, unusually excited, "We used to go all the time at school, but I haven't been since..." he tailed off and you squeezed his hand, knowing that losing Yuu had cut Kento's childhood abruptly to an end. Clapping your hands together, you stood.
"Come on then. You can kill Curses, but how good are you at dancing?"
Kento groaned, feigning reluctance as you dragged him through the backstreets until you reached the sprawling neon lights of a huge arcade, buzzing with teenagers. The sun was going down, your nose pink with cold and excitement; you gazed at the lights, the claw machines, the ra-ta-ta-ta of arcade guns, feeling your heart swell with childish joy. Kento's heart swelled too, eyes soft as he drank in your profile, arcade lights dancing across your glasses lens.
"Can you win me something?" you wheedled to Kento, pressing your hands from one claw machine to the next as you tried to decide which plushie was the cutest.
"Not yet. How do you expect to beat me at Resident Evil if your hands are full?"
You and Kento spent hours playing games, going through multiple pockets of change. You took several shocking first-person shooting game wins, Kento taking his revenge by being a dark-horse on the dance machines, small crowds of teenagers gathering to egg you both on as you became more chaotic together, more sloppy, tapping your feet on each other's pads as you tried to cheat wins from each other. Tears of laughter shone in your eyes as Kento became increasingly frustrated with the janky mechanics of the driving games, so you pulled him away to the claw machines.
Kento felt his manliness on the line, unashamedly competitive as he won you two delightful plushies. Completely sated, you felt your social battery running low. Pulling you close to him with one arm as you walked out of the arcades, Kento rattled his pocket one last time.
"Room for a doughnut?"
"Always. Extra tummy for dessert."
Finding a fresh doughnut stall on your way back to the car, you picked for Kento (a simple glazed ring) and he picked for you (a sweet pink heart, oozing with raspberry jam). Your drive home was warm, smooth, full of comfortable silence. You felt your eyes drift shut, eyelids occasionally glowing with orange as streetlights rolled in and out beyond your vision.
When you arrived home, kicking off your boots together, Kento held your shoulders for a moment, keeping you in the hallway. "Wait here," he urged, "it'll take a few minutes to warm up." Answering your questioning look with a sweet kiss to your forehead, you stripped out of your snowy coat as you heard Kento rattle about in the living room and kitchen.
Taking you by both hands, Kento walked you into the living room.
"A...kotatsu?" The heated table, plush with blankets, sat adorned with two steaming bowls of instant ramen. Pillows piled at the end opposite the television created a mini fort for you to curl up in, a selection of your favourite childhood movies stacked beside the sofa, ready for choosing.
Sniffling with gratitude again, you and Kento slipped into pyjamas, and you sighed with delight as your feet slipped under the heat of the table. Eyeing the love Kento had poured into this, you grasped his cheeks, pulling him in firmly for a kiss, scattering dozens of tiny kisses over his cheeks and eyes.
"Thank you," you pressed. Kento huffed.
"This is the bare minimum you deserve, I promise. Wait until I really get going."
Warm and safe, you realised, snug in Kento's arms, you'd never again have to weather your bad days alone.
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strawnarrries · 1 year
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Dirty Book
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Summary: Your husband catches you reading another dirty book and doesn't enjoy you getting turned on without him, so he takes matters into his own hands and makes you forget all about your book.
Requested: Nope but my box is always open!
POV: 2nd
Word Count: 4.4k
Warning(s): M/F receiving oral, unprotected sex
The sound of the water pellets hitting the shower floor echoed throughout the bathroom and floated into your bedroom, a perfect background noise for your reading session. It was around 9:30pm (21:30) and you were currently laying in bed, snuggled up under your cozy, white comforter, reading a romance thriller- a book your best friend had insisted you read. This book was all over tiktok recently so you were excited to see what the hype was all about. Plus, you loved a good spicy book.
After dinner, you had taken an everything shower. You washed your hair, and your body, exfoliated, and shaved everything, as well as doing a face mask and your skincare routine. You lit one of your favorite candles to make the room smell sweet before snuggling under the covers to read. You loved the vibe that you were living right now- freshly clean, soft skin against your silky sheets, nose filled with the perfect mix of scents from your candle - raspberry nectar, iris petals, and airy vanilla - while you were snuggled under your soft covers, reading your favorite genre of book.
Your husband, Niall, had walked into the room not even 5 minutes ago, but you were so engrossed in your book, you didn't even acknowledge him. He head straight for the bathroom and turned on the shower. He came out only a few minutes later and you couldn't help but let your eyes snap up to watch him once you noticed he was completely naked.
You would be lying if you said the words you were reading hadn't made your thighs squeeze shut and your heart rate increase as you pictured you and Niall instead of the two main characters. He walked towards the dresser that sat right in front of your bed, ruffling through one of the drawers for something. You were so distracted by him that you hadn't even cared to notice what he was doing. The way his back muscles flexed with every movement he made, the countless number of freckles against his skin that you loved to kiss, and his perky bum cheeks that you never resisted grabbing whenever the occasion arrived. The back of him was so pretty and you wished you had admired it more over the years.
He lifted his head and your eyes flicked up to his in the faint reflection of the large, black tv hanging above the dresser. You made eye contact with those pretty eyes and couldn't help the blush that arose on the apples of your cheeks. His head flicked around to check if you were actually looking at him and his lips turned into a smirk when he noticed he wasn't just seeing things.
"Quit droolin'," he teased.
You rolled your eyes with a soft grin on your lips before finding the place where you left off in your book, getting lost in the pages once again. He walked back into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and you soon heard the glass door to the shower open and close, signaling that he had hopped in.
You weren't sure how long he was in there, but soon enough you heard the shower turn off and the only noise filling your ears was the words you read on the page. Niall had quickly dried off and done his basic skin care routine before walking back into your bedroom, not even bothering to put on any clothes. You hadn't acknowledged him, too engrossed in this spicy scene to want to look away even for a second.
He walked towards the end of the bed and climbed in between your legs, "'s dat one of yer dirty books?"
"Maybe," you grinned, peeking your eyes just over the brim of the pages to look at him.
He was fresh out of the shower, his hair still wet and his skin glowing from his skincare regimen. He didn't reply, he just pushed your shirt up to reveal your belly and rested his cheek against it, his damp hair cold against your warm skin. You continued to read your book and you felt his fingers play with the strings on your pajama pants.
"Don't like dat," he mumbled suddenly.
"Don't like what?"
"Don't like the fact dat yer gettin' turned on without me."
"'m not gettin' turned on," you replied, letting your book rest on your upper lip while peeking over it once again to look at him as he lifted his head to look at you.
"Oh really?"
"Mm mm," you shook your head.
"So if I took a quick peek, ya wouldn't be wet at all?"
"Nope," you hummed, popping the 'p' confidently.
He sat up and slipped his fingers past the band of both your pajama pants and your panties, tugging them down your legs. You obliged and lifted your hips to help him. Once he pulled them off each leg, he threw them carelessly onto the floor. You immediately closed your thighs, hiding your secret. He placed both palms on either one of your knees and urged you to open them for him, "Lemme see."
You didn't fight it, starting to feel more desperate for him to touch you by the second. You let your legs fall open, your stringy arousal now in full view for him. You watched his face transform as he admired you, a smug smirk curved onto his lips and his eyes slowly darkened with lust. His fingers immediately slipped through your folds, feeling and spreading your wetness.
"You fuckin' liar," he teased.
You hummed softly at his touch, your hips instinctively bucking up. He laid down on his belly and wrapped his right arm around your hips, now face to face with your throbbing center. You crossed your ankles around his shoulders, butterflies erupting in your stomach from excitement for what's to come. Using his left hand, he placed his callous fingers on your swollen clit, rubbing it back it forth.
You whimpered out his name softly, eyes fluttering shut. Your hips bucked up and he let his fingers move south, easily slipping a finger past your dripping entrance. He felt all around you, curling his finger up and finding that special spot just under where your clit was located. Focusing on that spot, he moved his finger in and out of you, hitting the spot with each thrust. You felt your orgasm slowly rising and the book getting looser in your hands, threatening to fall closed on the sheets beneath you.
Using his free hand, he spread you open for him before leaning down and wrapping his pink lips around your throbbing clit. You let out a pornographic moan, dropping the book onto the bed next to you, not even bothering to mark your page. Your hands immediately threaded through his dark, damp locks. He suckled on your bud, fingers moving in and out of you, hitting your spot with each thrust. You knew it wouldn't be long until you were arching your back and screaming his name.
No words were spoken between you two. He was desperate to get you off and you were desperate to get off. The only noises filling the room was your moans and the wet sounds of him working you towards your orgasm. He quickly slipped his fingers out of you, wrapping both hands around your hips and pulling you closer to him. His mouth watered at the sight of you soaking and swollen for him. He licked up your entire center before dipping the tip of his tongue into your entrance. He felt around your walls and your grip on his hair tightened.
Your arousal coated his tongue and he hummed against you, vibrations from his voice sending waves of pleasure up your spine. He pulled his tongue out of you and flicked the tip back and forth against your clit, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. With his free hand, he reached up under your shirt and grabbed onto your right breast, squeezing and kneading it. You quickly grabbed onto the hem of your top and pulled it up over your head, throwing it across the room and exposing yourself to him.
Keeping yourself sat up slightly, you rested your elbows on the sheets under you, supporting your body up so you could watch him. He glanced up at you and you made eye contact with those pretty blue eyes, an open-mouthed grin quickly growing on his lips. His hair was sticking up in every direction from your previous tugging and the scruff that perfectly lined his jaw tickled your skin. His calloused fingers were tweaking your nipple and your thighs were loosely wrapped around his head as he lapped at your clit, sliding the tip of his tongue all around it as he felt it throb against him. It was a scene you never wanted to forget. Just the sight of him could send you into a frenzy.
"Ya like dat?"
"Niall, oh my god," you whimpered, letting your head fall back onto your shoulders.
He chuckled against you, his breath warm against your burning skin. Grabbing onto your hips with both hands to keep you in place, he wrapped his lips around your clit once more and began to suck with the perfect pressure he's learned you love. You bucked your hips up into him, lifting your head to watch him again. This time, all you could see was a mess of brown hair between your thighs, causing your abdomen to clench.
Your moans got more frequent the closer you got to your orgasm and you both knew it would only be a few short seconds before you are thrown off the edge. You let your body relax on the bed again, your fingers immediately tangling through his locks and pushing him impossibly closer to you.
"Gonna cum?" he mumbled against you.
"Mhm," you whined, your face contorted with pleasure as you focused on your orgasm quickly approaching.
He used his left hand and stuck his middle finger and his ring finger past your opening, thrusting it back and forth, doing everything in his power to unravel that knot in the pit of your stomach. With his fingers hitting all your sweet spots and his mouth suckling your clit, your orgasm took over your entire body.
Pleasure filled every one of your senses, pulling you out of reality and putting you into your own universe. You never wanted this feeling to stop. Your back was arching off the bed, your toes were curling against his shoulders, your thighs were trembling against his head, your grip on his hair was tightening, and moans were continually spilling from your lips. He felt your warmth coat his digits and he slowed down his thrusts to milk out your orgasm. Soon enough your body relaxed into the soft sheets beneath you, your moans being taken over by heavy pants.
He licked you clean before slipping his fingers out and climbing up the bed to hover over you. He hovered his fingers in front of your lips and you opened your mouth, taking them in and tasting your release. You let your tongue slide in between his two fingers and bobbed your head once, twice, to give him a preview of what was to come. His eyes were locked on your plump lips wrapped around him, jaw opened as a groan escaped his throat.
"God, you're so hot," he hummed.
You giggled and he slipped his fingers out of your mouth, pressing both hands on the bed next to either side of your head to support his weight. He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. They moved in sync, his tongue slipping out and asserting his dominance. You love that tongue, obviously, but especially when he kissed you. He did it so well and so gracefully, it was so sexy.
"I love you," you whispered against his lips
"I love ya too," he hummed back.
After catching your breath from your release, you finally gained back the energy to return the favor. You pushed him onto his back on his side of the bed next to you, getting ready to straddle him before hearing him grunt, "Ow."
He reached under his back and pulled your book out from underneath him, handing it to you with a facial expression to show you he wasn't impressed.
"Don't crush it!" you exclaimed, grabbing it from him and making sure the pages weren't bent before placing it on your bedside table.
He rolled his eyes teasingly and you straddled his lap, sitting perfectly so his hard member was in between your folds. He wrapped his hands on either side of your hips and you pressed your hands against his toned chest. You began to grind your hips back and forth on him, soaking him with your growing wetness.
Your hands slid up to cup his jaw as you leaned down and pressed your lips to his, kissing him passionately. Your hips were still mindlessly moving against him, the friction between you two sending light waves of pleasure across you.
"I wanna taste you," you hummed against his lips.
"Go for it, baby. Ya know I won't stop ya," he chuckled.
You grinned at him and pressed a few more kisses to his sweet lips before they trailed down to his jaw, his neck, his chest, and down down down until you were sat on your knees between his legs. You wrapped your hand around his already hard length and began to pump him in preparation. His swollen, red tip peaked out underneath his foreskin with each down stroke, precum oozing from his slit.
You pressed a sweet kiss to his tip before wrapping your lips around him, suckling gently. He lifted his head up to watch you as you came off of him with a soft pop and leaned down to the base of his shaft. You licked up the underside of him like a melting popsicle before taking him into your mouth, palm wrapped around what you could not fit in. Reaching down, he entangled his fingers through your long, brunette locks, pulling your hair into a ponytail and holding it out of your face. You began to bop your head up and down and you heard a groan leave his lips and his head falling back against the pillow underneath him.
He smelled and tasted so good. Being fresh out of the shower, the manly scent of his body wash filled your nose and the salty taste of his precum mixed with your previous arousal swarmed your taste buds. You hummed against him, acknowledging that he wasn't the only one enjoying this. You loved making him feel good. Being able to watch his stomach clench and his face twist with pleasure lit a fire in your abdomen. You were the one making him feel so good and you were the only one making him feel that good.
Flattening your tongue, you began to lick up the underside of him again. Your mouth watered for him, you were practically drooling over him; he was soaked, drenched in your saliva, but that's exactly how he liked it.
Paying attention to his tip, you began to swirl your tongue on the underside of him, your palm quickly pumping his shaft. He lifted his head up to watch you again, the sight of you on your knees for him being one of his favorite things to watch. Feeling his stare, you flicked your eyes up to his and came in contact with his usual blue ones darkened by lust. His jaw was lax and formed in an 'o' shape, his eyebrows were furrowed together, his stomach clenched each time your tongue drew a full circle around him, and a thin layer of sweat glistening his skin. You couldn't help the smile that erupted on your lips at the euphoric look of him, your tongue never stopping its movements around his tip.
Breaking eye contact, you wrapped your lips around him again and took him in. You moved your head up and down at a quick pace, feeling his grip on your hair tightening. You placed both hands on either one of his thighs and gripped him for stability as you relaxed your throat and took him deeper. The course patch of curls lining his pelvis tickled the tip of your nose each time you took him in and the moans that left his lips were like music to your ears.
"Fuck, Y/N, yer so fuckin' good at dis," he moaned and his words went straight to your center, your wetness growing.
After feeling your jaw begin to get sore, you wrap your lips around his tip, suckling it while your dominant hand pumped him at the pace you knew he loved. Your other hand went to cup his balls, massaging them ever so gently. You were doing everything in your power to get him to his orgasm. By the twitch of him in your mouth and the growing sounds of his moans, you knew it would only be seconds until he was pushing you away. And you weren't wrong.
"Mm, fuck, okay, okay, okay," he whimpered painfully since he wanted to cum, but he knew if he did, he wouldn't get hard again quick enough to be inside of you, "Wanna be in ya."
You licked your lips as you straddled his waist again, cupping his face and leaning down to kiss him. Your kisses were sloppy and desperate, moving in sync with each other. You sucked his bottom lip into your mouth, biting it gently and pulling it back before letting it snap back into place. You sat back up and were about to reach down to position him at your entrance before he stopped you.
"Hang on," he breathed out, "'m gonna cum immediately if 'm in ya right now."
"You're too easy," you grinned at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing kisses on each freckle that lined his skin.
As you gave him a few minutes to cool down, you moved your lips back up to his. They moved leisurely against each other, your tongues entangling and causing the taste of each other to overwhelm your senses. Your painted fingernails ran through his damp hair while his bitten ones ran up and down your back slowly; a much slower and sweeter moment than earlier when everything was sexier and faster-paced. It wasn't long before he deepened your kisses once more, picking up from where you had left off.
"You ready?" you asked excitedly.
"Mhm," he nodded.
You sat up on your knees and positioned him at your entrance. You wasted no time before you slid down on him, taking all of him in until you were sat on his lap again. After watching him disappear inside of you, you looked up at him, both of your jaws slack. Giving yourself a few seconds to adjust to him, you purposefully squeezed your walls around him and watched as a groan left his lips and face contorted with pleasure.
You began grinding against him, the curls lining his pelvis stimulating your clit with each thrust. Hovering over him, you let both of your elbows rest on either side of his head. He placed his hands on your hips and helped you rock back and forth as you watched each other react to the euphoria that came with your bodies connecting. You pushed a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled down at him.
"You feel so good," you whispered, lips slightly brushing up against his with each thrust.
"Ya do too, baby. Don't t'ink I'll last long with ya lookin' like dis on top of me," he replied, one hand sliding up your body and cupping your breast.
You chuckled breathlessly and pressed your lips against his. Your lips moved in sync with his, tongues slipping out and caressing each other. You gently nibbled on his bottom lip, sucking it into your mouth before sitting back up. Placing both hands on his chest again, you began to move your hips faster against his, slightly bouncing on him.
The knot in the pit of your stomach began tightening as the feeling of his girth filled you completely and sent pleasure throughout your body. You could feel every vein, every ridge, every inch of him against your slick walls. His tip brushed up against your special spot with each thrust and you couldn't stop your teeth from sinking into your bottom lip.
You looked down between your connecting bodies and watched as his member disappeared and appeared. He was completely coated, glittering with your arousal. His fingernails were carving crescent-shaped moons into the skin of your thighs, sure to be deep enough for you to find tomorrow morning. Your breasts bounced with each thrust of your hips and Niall was in complete awe as he watched you above him. His gorgeous wife, completely naked above him, moving back and forth against his throbbing member, soft whimpers occasionally leaving her pretty lips, it was something he never ever wanted to forget.
Your thrusts began to get sloppy as you felt your thighs begin to burn in overuse. Soon enough the burn overpowered the pleasure. You stopped your thrusts and sat completely on him in a huff, "Can you spoon me?"
"Yeah, c'mere," he answered.
You climbed off of him, feeling unsatisfyingly empty as he slipped out of you. You lay on your side next to him while he lay on his. His back was pressed to yours and you lifted your left leg over his leg to give him easy access. He immediately grabbed onto his throbbing member and slipped it inside of you. Wasting no time at all, his pace was fast and hard. His arms were wrapped around you tightly as your body moved with each slap of his hips against yours.
His right arm was laying straight, his bicep acting as a pillow for your head. Using your right arm, you reached out and grabbed onto his hand, intertwining your fingers and squeezing him tightly as you moaned out his name, "Oh, Niall."
"Ya feel me deep, baby?" he asked, using his right hand to press on your lower stomach, feeling the repetitive movements of him sliding in and out of you.
Unable to form coherent words at this point, you moaned in response, your toes curling against his ankle. The pressure from his hand against your abdomen intensified your pleasure. Your orgasm was quickly rising again, your stomach clenching each time he thrust against your sweet spots.
Using the hand placed on your stomach, he wrapped his palm around your neck, sliding it up to cup your jaw and moving it towards him. You moaned as his lips connected with yours, opened-mouthed kisses shared between you two. He swallowed your moans, the vibrations sending goosebumps to arise on his skin. Your kisses were sloppy and desperate as you both chased your orgasms, straining for a release.
"I love ya," he grunted against your lips.
You replied in a delighted, breathy hum, "I love you too."
Sliding his hand down from your jaw, he cupped your left breast in his palm, kneading it as his thrusts sped up. He pinched your nipple between his index finger and thumb, twisting it, causing a whimper to leave your lips. Your walls mindlessly began squeezing around him, silently signaling him that you were close. You were so close.
"Gonna cum? Need ya t' finish first," he grunted in your ear.
"Mhm, touch me," you whimpered, grabbing onto the hand that was kneading your left breast and moving it to your throbbing center.
His calloused fingers quickly moved back and forth across your throbbing clit. The pleasure only heightened and you were bucking your hips into his hand, breath hitched in your throat. Your moans grew as your orgasm grew closer and you knew it would only be seconds before you were releasing on him.
"C'mon," he encouraged, "Know yer close. Lemme hear ya."
And just like that, the tight knot in your stomach unraveled and pleasure numbed your entire body from the tip of your toes to the top of your head. You didn't hold back your moans, you relaxed your throat and let him know just how good he made you feel. Your back was arched and your toes curled. His pace never slowed down as he carried you through your orgasm, your face scrunched up in pleasure. The feeling of your warmth engulfing him had him instantly releasing inside of you, coating your walls with his love for you. He buried his face into the back of your neck, your hair muffling his groans and the feeling of his warm breath fanned the back of your neck.
His thrusts slowed down as he milked out the last bits of your orgasms and soon, your moans were taken over by heavy breaths as you both came down from your highs. He gave you a sweet kiss on your cheek before getting up to retrieve a clean washcloth for you, a routine you both fell into once you got an IUD and stopped using condoms. You lay there with your eyes closed, feeling your heartbeat slow and your breath calm. You heard him turn the sink on and running water echoed throughout your bathroom. He soon turned it off and you heard his footsteps get closer to you.
Climbing on the bed again, he rolled you on your back and gently opened your legs. Still recovering from your powerful orgasm, you kept your eyes closed and he grinned at you, "Ya still wit' me, baby?"
"Mhm," you hummed delightfully, opening your eyes and looking at the beautiful man above you.
He wiped you clean with the damp washcloth, the lukewarm temperature of it against your burning skin giving you chills. After double checking you were all cleaned up and making sure none had dripped onto the bed, he walked back into the bathroom. He set the dirtied towel on the counter, planning to deal with it later before walking back into the room and falling onto the bed with a big grunt.
"Jesus," he breathed out in a chuckle, "I feel like I need t' take another shower after dat."
"Wanna take a bath?" you asked, looking over at him through your eyelashes.
"Sure," he replied quickly.
"Really?" you asked excitedly. Niall never wanted to take baths with you!
"Yeah, but only if ya add bubbles."
"I'll add as many bubbles as you want."
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impala-dreamer · 2 months
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Tell me about forbidding Rick to cut the curls.
Don't You Ever...
Rick Grimes x Reader
626 Words
Moderately Safe For Work, Post Sex, Hair Pulling!Kink
Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works
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Slipping from the bed, Rick stole the crisp white sheet and wrapped it low around his waist. You pouted at the sudden show of modesty as the glory of his ass disappeared.
“Don’t be all shy on me now, Officer,” you teased, shifting to sit up against the pillows. 
It was still strange having a bed. The mattress was perfect giving, the sheets smelled so clean. And the pillows! You’d almost forgotten what it was like to sleep with more than a backpack under your head. Alexandria was damned near perfect. 
Rick looked back over his shoulder and grinned. “Not shy,” he explained, “just cold.” 
Biting your lip, you slid your legs together seductively. “Cold? I thought we did a pretty good job of heating things up.” 
He laughed gently. “Oh, that we did.” 
His wink was devastating, knocking you back down into the plush bedding. Carrying on, he slipped into the adjoining bathroom and took care of business. You listened as he sighed happily, content and sated if only for a little while. 
The afterglow was upon you and you relished it with your entire being. For the first time in forever, no monsters were nipping at your heels, no bad guys were plotting against you. There was just clean sheets and lots of mind-blowing, earth-rocking sex with the most beautiful man the apocalypse could offer. Nothing could go wrong. 
Rick reappeared in the doorway, the muscles of his back catching your eye as he leaned over the little pedestal sink to wash up. He let the water run a bit and then cupped his hands, collecting a puddle of warmth to splash on his face. He came back up, drenched and a mess. 
He caught you staring in the mirror and smiled. “See somethin’ you like?” 
Unconsciously, your hand glided down to tease your nipple. “You know I do.” 
Rick sucked his tongue between his teeth and hummed suggestively. “I’ll be right with you.” 
Turning back to his reflection, he ran a hand through the mop of dark hair atop his head. “Ya know,” he said absently while pulling a ringlet from his temple and letting it spring back. “Thinkin’ I might take that Jessie up on her offer.” 
Memory failed you. “Who? And what?” 
He toyed with his hair some more. “Jessie,” he said again, “Blonde lady from the party? She said she’s a hairdresser. Thinkin’ I may go get a trim.” 
Your heart stopped. “A trim?” 
“Yeah. Like, shave it all off or somethin’. Feelin’ like a bum lately.” 
Wild rage flowed through your veins and you sprung up, flipping onto your hands and knees on the bed. “Are you insane?” 
Rick turned, confused and then amused to find you poised like a jungle cat. “Excuse me?” 
“Don’t you dare do that to me!” Tears welled in your eyes. 
He laughed and stepped back into the room. “Do what?” 
You crawled slowly to the edge of the bed. “Don’t you ever…” 
He moved towards you, eyes locked on your beautiful curves. 
“Ever…” You reached the foot of the bed and sat back on your knees. “Cut…”
Rick met you there, bowed legs pressed to the mattress. 
“These…” Reaching up, you ran a hand through his hair. “Perfect…” You tugged and his eyes closed, his lips parted, his breath quickened. “Curls.” 
He bent to kiss you but you yanked him back, fingers tangled in the mess of sweaty curls at the back of his head. With your free hand, you pulled the sheet loose and wrapped your hand around his cock, slowly stroking him hard again. 
“You hear me?” 
Rick nodded as best he could. A hungry smile drifted over his face and he growled, ready to take you once more. “Yes, ma’am.”
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qqtxt · 1 year
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can you write about reader helping shave beomgyu’s beard(?), something like morning fluff? beomgyu seems to have more facial hair than the others and seeing some moas make fun of him makes me so sad ☹️
augh, i didn't know about that! but nothing like a little fluff can't fix… (and that beoms is attractive no matter what he chooses to do >:))
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[🐯] i got you
✿ pairing: beomgyu x reader / non.idol!au / fluff, silly, sexual innuendos but nothing explicit / minor cursing (none with ill-intention!) / word count: 410 words ✿ the best parts of beomgyu's morning always involve you [masterlist 🌸]
"c'mon, you're almost done. help me out here," beomgyu huffs into your ear, earning himself a muffled chuckle as your mouth is filled with foam from your toothpaste and toothbrush. the way he moulds himself against you is what makes it even funnier but you're holding it back and nudging him away so you can properly rinse your mouth.
his arms don't let up from around your waist, pressing his cheek to your shoulder just as you look into the mirror to meet with his pouty expression. with a sigh, you brush his hands off, put the toothbrush into the cup you've taken it from and turn around to–"gimme that,"
his pearly smile comes to view when you snatch his shaver. it's not like he doesn't know how to do it or if it was any difficult but it was just his excuse to have you up close with all your attention on him. it was the attentiveness in the way you carefully switch positions with him so that he's the one having his hip leaning against the sink. his hands settle on your waist, offering you stability as you lean in, one hand cupping the side of his face. the other gripping onto the shaver to begin smoothening the hairs lightly poking out of his chin, the space above his upper lip, anywhere you can reach as beomgyu rotates his head to give you access.
half the time, though, you're reminding him that excuse me, move your damned head, please because he's too busy smiling and staring at you. he only listens when you roll your eyes to glare at him that he complies with damn, okay. don't gotta turn me on with those eyes.
the playfulness is back in full swing when you switch off the shaver and beomgyu puckers his lips. with a snort, you smoothen your thumb over his chin to feel his skin and tug him lower so you can give him a kiss.
"that's all you're getting. brush your teeth first, then you'll get more." you're tapping his bum on the way out of the bathroom, after shoving the shaver back into his hands. he holds his toothbrush up, "wanna help me brush my teeth?"
even though you both know it's a joke, with the way you deadpan at him from the bed, hands on your hips and the tilt of your head, he quietly blows you a kiss and closes the bathroom door.
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