#she was the one that came on my feyre is not a good person post and replied first

[litnerdwrites]

So Nesta might also have second hand trauma...

+ Elain is a hypocrite.

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

This quote has rubbed me the wrong way since I read ACOSF for the first time. I reblogged and responded to a post by @simmanin where I discussed how Elain is a hypocrite for this line, since the IC have never considered what Nesta's trauma did to her. That was one of two thoughts I had regarding this quote, the second being how Nesta's reaction seems completely logical.

I think Nesta's response to Elain wanting to search for the Cauldron to be a form of real trauma caused, not only by her mother, her father's neglect, the cauldron, turning fae, the war and the shit ACOSF put her through, but also the trauma faced by Elain. This is a form of trauma called Secondary traumatic stress disorder.

Secondary trauma is most common in health care workers and mental health professionals, as well as others who help and deal with other people's trauma on the regular. This, to me, makes complete, logical sense. If you're exposed to so many traumatic experiences, even if it isn't directly, on the regular, then it makes sense that your mental health would also suffer for it.

There have been cases in which a person goes through trauma, and their family members, like siblings, develop secondary trauma as a result. Moreover, it's natural for any form of trauma to affect a person's relationships with friends and family, which we see happen to Nesta in how she distances herself from even Elain.

It makes complete sense that Nesta, who has set herself up as Elain's protector their whole life, and acts as more of a mother figure to her, would develop some form of secondary trauma when she almost loses Elain, or watches Elain endure suffering when shoved into the cauldron.

It wouldn't be far fetched for a parent/sibling to develop a form of secondary trauma after almost losing their child/sibling, in an accident or at the hands of another human being. So why is it that nobody considers that Elain's kidnapping caused even more trauma for Nesta.

While I'm not trying to say that it should come before Elain's trauma and experience, it also isn't okay to discount and overlook Nesta's just because her coddling of Elain is considered a bad trait. It isn't good that Elain is coddled like a child, but using it as an excuse to disregard the obvious traits of trauma that Nesta is showing is unfair to her, and just another example of Elain, perhaps unknowingly in regards to secondary trauma, thinking only about Nesta's trauma is doing to her. How she's upset by the way Nesta handles it, rather than considering that Elain's support is the one Nesta needs the most.

Nesta spend her whole life feeling like a failure. To her mother. Her grandmother. To Feyre. To Amren. To the court. Nesta grapples with feelings of self worth and views herself as a failure for being unable to protect those she loves so fiercely, which greatly affects her mental health and is a huge factor in driving her to want to commit suicide. The only thing she didn't feel like she failed at, was protecting Elain. Until the cauldron. Until Hybern. Until they were dragged into a war that Nesta wanted no part of, but got involved with because of Feyre's request and Elain's insistence.

Nesta tried to give to Feyre what Feyre gave to her in that cabin when she allowed her to use their home (despite Feyre's friends accosting her for issues that aren't theirs to address or comment on), and even then, she feels like she failed when the mortal queens turned traitor. Failed to make it up to Feyre, failed to protect her people, and when Hybern came, failed to protect Elain.

Now, for Elain to not only reinforce those negative feelings, but dismiss Nesta's traumas entierly, from the moment the war ended, is cruel. Elain is a hypocrite. She is a hypocrite who was quick to abandon the one person who's been in her corner for her entire life. While there are clearly issues between Elain and Nesta that need to be sorted through, especially in regards to how Elain is coddled and borderline infantilised by her Nesta, discrediting Nesta's trauma, the way she's accused of doing to Elain despite how Nesta sacrificed her own healing just to be by Elain's side and get involved in the war, again, at Feyre's behest, is not how you go about it.

Nesta appears to have a form of secondary trauma that stems from Elain's own traumas, and she's not the only one. I think tamlin's actions stem from a form of secondary trauma from watching how Feyre suffered and died under the mountain. It doesn't make what he did right. It doesn't excuse his actions. Nor does it excuse Feyre's, since one might argue that seeing her sisters dumped into the cauldron gave her a form of secondary trauma too (since Mor mentioned Feyre feeling responsible for what happened in acofs, and wanting to fix all their problems as a result).

However, it does explain them. Much like how Nesta's traumas, first and second hand, explain her actions. That's not to say that an explanation is an excuse. It merely provide a context from which to examine their actions can be examined and create a path to empathy and compassion. Whether they're forgiven and forgotten is entierly up to those affected by their actions (pretty much just Feyre and maybe Elain for the coddling), and in the case of fictional media, audience discretion.

Nesta has certain things she should apologies for (again, to Feyre mostly, and maybe a little bit Elain), I don't disagree with that. However, none of that can happen until Nesta is able to heal.

The quote above is the perfect example of Nesta being denied that, despite the delusion of the IC in thinking that's what ACOSF was about. Her trauma isn't considered valid by the Ic, or even her own sisters, which is why it isn't treated as such.

So to sum it up, yes. Nesta is thinking about what Elain's trauma did to her because it did have a very real affect on her. It caused real trauma that Nesta has to deal with. The dangers faced by Feyre and the entire court, cause her trauma. She suffers with the fear of losing those she loves so fiercely so that her mental health took a swan dive because of that, amongst other reasons. Yet nobody acknowledges that Elain's suffering, real and horrible as it may be, also caused Nesta pain. Hell, they don't acknowledge the pain Nesta's own suffering caused her, much less anybody else's.

Also Elain and the IC just prove that they have no empathy or compassion despite their own traumas being so similar to the hell they're putting Nesta through. Either their traumas weren't traumatising or the cycle of abuse broke the so badly that they can't even recognise the abuse they put others through.

#anti acosf #anti ic #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #pro nesta #nesta deserves better #nesta acotar #anti amren #anti mor #pro nesta archeron #anti elain #anti feyre #anti morrigan #Nesta's trauma needs to be addressed #preferably by a professional #but apparently those are off limits to Nesta for some reason #pro tamlin

[selesera]

I’ve got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me

hello! I go by Sel here and I am sharing my first piece of writing with you, tumblr. I want to dedicate this to @the-lonelybarricade because she is the kindest person online and she immediately saw my other post saying I was proud of myself for writing this and said she -sobs- wanted to read it 🥹

This is a short drabble that came out a little sad and angsty but I am a diehard elucien so have hope dear reader! This was inspired by You're losing me by my queen and saviour tswizzie. I'm so sorry in advance for any typos!

__________________________

Lady Elain, 

I write this in the hopes that you will agree to speak with me upon my next visit to Velaris.

It is important and urgent.

Cordially,

Lucien

Elain smoothed out the folded lines of his letter again. Her fingers lightly brushed the letters of his elegant penmanship, terrified of blurring the ink and erasing the way he had written her name. She knew what his “important and urgent” topic was. He was tired of being shackled to her. She could feel his exhaustion, his self hatred, his desperation. Not through the bond, no. She kept her side of that golden string firmly closed. No…she could see his dreams. 

She saw night after night how he confronted her, told her she had to choose. Begging her to choose him. To love him. Or to free him.

Some nights, he would dream that she accepted him and the dream would devolve into a flurry of kisses, wandering fingers, moans and sighs of pleasure. 

Other nights, he would dream she rejected the bond. In those dreams she would stare at her own face, hardened by indifference and disdain. Watch herself coldly stand by as he wept at her feet. Scream at herself to comfort the man - male - that loved her.

She wished she could say those were the worst dreams but she had had the misfortune of seeing his other dreams too. His nightmares. Beron beheading a beautiful fae named Jesminda, wearing an expression on his cruel face much too similar to her own. Hot spikes descending on him. Standing firm against the whips against his back. Screaming as blood red nails dragged down his face. 

The truth was that Elain didn’t know how she felt about being able to see his dreams. On one hand, she felt lucky that she could see the pieces of his history that influenced who he was but that he did not let define him, even as her heart broke at the horrors that he had endured. On the other hand… if she was being honest with herself… it made her angry. 

How dare he make her care about his future? How dare he make her want to soothe and heal every jagged wound to his heart? She was independent. She was not his keeper. She was not the plaything of the cauldron. She would make her own life or die trying! 

At least that’s what she kept telling herself she would do. 

Truthfully, she was scared. How could she be independent in her baby sister’s house? Enjoying all the luxuries that her money bought? She loved Feyre. So much. Had finally created a true relationship with her sister but she still felt stifled. Bored. She couldn’t help thinking that a little distance might do them some good...

One of these days she was going to be able to control her traitorous thoughts… one of these days in her interminably long life.

This is why she hated thinking about him. He always made her question everything about herself, about her life.

Elain looked down again at the letter in her hands. The time had come to respond.

Two pathways emerged in front of her. The first, a path where she chose to stay in her quiet life and let her fear win. The second where fear was still present but sunshine and wildflowers lined the path and a love like no other awaited her.

She put her pen to her paper.

Lucien, 

Please accept my regrets. I will be unavailable during your next trip to Velaris. 

I will endeavour to make myself available on your next visit.

Elain Archeron

#elain archeron #lucien vanserra #elucien #acotar #acotar fic #elain x lucien #elucien fic

[witchersoldier]

Stars He Hung

azriel x fem!reader

PART TWO PART THREE

SUMMARY: He hung the stars for you. Then he made you cry them all.

WARNINGS: (+16) first person pov, angst, implied smut, insecure reader, reader comparing herself to others, unrequited love and like one swear word (let me know if I missed something).

WORD COUNT: +1300

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this fic is my take on the "star tear disease", similar to the "hanahaki disease". It's my first full length fic in like 8 years, so please be kind. Know that English is not my mother tongue and I didn't proof read any of this. Honestly I'm too excited about posting this to search for mistakes. If I get enough positive feedback, I might write part two or something <3

•••

When I was younger I used to think that the apex of love would be seeing stars every time my one and only was near. I thought I’d be so lost in their eyes, drunken in the comforting undying love. I wasn’t wrong. Not completely, at least.

Because here I stood at the top of the stairs, watching the male I thought was the one and only for me. Watching as he gives her a shiny necklace. Their proximity was suffocating me, as if the closer they got the tighter my throat felt. When their lips were mere centimeters away from each other, I felt it: I felt lost because of the look on his eyes as he touched her unflawed porcelain skin. Everything I’ve ever wanted, ever hoped for, was fading to ash by the second their faces inched closer. She was taking all my dreams for herself, painfully ripping them away from me. The worst part was I couldn’t even be mad at her. Elain was the most captivating female I have ever met, and I doubt she could have evil in her heart, her soul, to willingly throw me off the path loving Azriel was. Now I only felt lost, with no place to go, no one to guide me through the endless night.

My hands were being pinched by pins and needles, my eyes and nose burning from the incoming tears, tired of holding them back. A blinding, golden shimmery light came in to my vision as I let the tears fall freely. Maybe I was going to pass out? I sure did feel lightheaded. But I couldn’t be more wrong about the source of the light. As my hands wiped away the waterfall coming out of my eyes I caught a glimpse of golden glittery liquid staining the back of my hands, but before I could give it any thought a gentle tap on my shoulder startled me. Turning around and facing the person, I could barely distinguish the High Lady and Lord in front of me, the glowing tears overflowing and making it hard for me to see. “Y/N? What is- are you okay?” Feyre calmly asked me, now holding my wet painted hands in her tattooed ones. “I-” my throat felt tighter than before, I was seconds away from breaking down into oceans. Nodding my head before mumbling a response. “Good night.” was the only thing I managed to get out before sprinting towards my own room.

★

It was the middle of the night when I finally calmed down. Although the golden liquid coming out of my eyes had seized, I still hurt profoundly. My chest was aching, my heart beating rapidly. I sat before my mirror, blinking and wiping the substance that came out of my burning, irritated eyes. Analyzing it.

If stars could melt, they’d for sure look like this, the warm, glittering gold tears I cried all night. Cried for him, because of him.

Azriel and I had a bizarre relationship, I never quite knew where we stood, where he thought we stood. Were we just friends? Were we lovers? Last night was the first time in the almost one year that we’ve really known each other that I could see the puzzle we were from his point of view. We were acquaintances. Acquaintances with benefits, I’d dare say. Cause not even the pain I was in could erase from my memory all those sleepless nights, tasting each other, tangled limbs and messy kisses. My mind couldn’t help but drift to the last actual interaction we had, almost two weeks ago.

★

I fell beside him on my bed; legs shaking, mind in a blissful haze. Five times in a row. Five times he took me to heaven and back again. Azriel made me see stars. I opened my eyes after a while, just to see his shiny golden irises looking right back at me. His eyes were so warm and comforting, just as his embrace was. Big wings draped over my naked sensitive body, relaxing my shaky muscles and keeping the cold winter breeze away. Tonight felt different, not just because of the sex, there was something else. Inside me. A fulfilling sentiment. “Fuck. You should- you should get yourself cleaned up, you’re-” Azriel stopped, clearing his throat. “Well, you’re leaking my seed. There’s no other way to say it.” He said calmly, and though my head was heavy with sleep, I could sense the smirk he had on his plump lips. “You made the mess, you should do something about it. Be a good boy and help a girl out, will you?” I muttered, small smile on my lips. I heard a breathy laugh and his footsteps distancing.

I was startled awake when the bed dipped beside me and a warm wet cloth rubbed against my inner thigh. I must have fallen asleep after he went to the bathroom. “Hey. I’ll get you cleaned up and then we can sleep, that okay?” Azriel’s voice was soft. Softer than I have ever heard him. ‘Then we can sleep’, that’s what he said. Not ‘you can sleep’. We. Us. It made my heart jump around in my chest, having him care for me. Were my tired mind misinterpreting things, maybe? I sure hoped that wouldn’t be the case. I begged The Cauldron it wasn’t the case. Hoped that maybe it was finally time for my undying love to be returned.

I didn’t realize he had finished cleaning me up until I missed his body warmth beside me. Blindly reaching out to him, I touched his scarred hand, grabbing his attention back to me. Whatever it was I wanted to tell him faded into sleepy incoherent mumbles. He leaned down to kiss my forehead, and through almost closed eyes I could swear I saw his lip tremble and tears form in his waterline. I muttered something before the warmest and brightest of feelings inside my chest lulled me into a deep sleep.

★

No matter how hard I tried to remember what it was that I said that night, I couldn’t recall anything. I would give all that I could to go back there and understand what I’ve done for things to change so drastically. After that night, Azriel grew cold and distant. I wanted nothing more than to be near him. I was left with only this inner desire, a tug inside my chest, pleading me to be with him. But I couldn’t.

Those past few days have been hell. Seeing him with Elain almost every second of the day made my heart slowly crack. I had no right to feel this jealous and betrayed. We never spoke about being exclusive, strictly each other’s, but never in a million years I could’ve foreseen him jumping to someone else as quickly as he did. But then again, Elain was the sweetest female I knew. Pretty and kindhearted, it was so easy to fall under her spell, even I could fall for it, too, weren’t it for my feelings for a certain winged male.

Maybe Azriel didn’t do it out of nowhere. I noticed how he looked at her before we got close. Noticed how he’d try to be close to her. Then he got so close to me. I wasn’t even half the female Elain was. Maybe that’s what he wanted? Something to help him get over the middle Archeron sister. Obviously that didn’t work out. I couldn’t be enough, I’d never be. No one compares to her.

How could I let myself open up to him? Let him in so deep to the point where I felt empty without him near. To the point where all the stars he made me see faded, seeped, poured through my very own eyes.

Because that’s what’s happening. All the stars he hung so effortlessly to the dark, empty night sky that was my soul, all those shiny little dots of happiness are melting down. What happens when the last dot fades? When the last liquid star runs down my cheeks? What then?

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x oc #acotar #elain x azriel #acotar x reader #azriel #feyre archeron #elain archeron #acotar imagine #acotar fanfiction #fan edit #acotar smut #azriel smut #azriel imagine #azriel angst #star tears #hanahaki

[acourtofmarvels]

Miracle

Azriel x OC

Summary: Azriel's mate is Rhysand's sister. She died a long time ago by the hand of the High Lord of the Spring court. Something happens when the Inner Circle goes to Hybern...

(I should point out this is my first time ever posting something I wrote on Tumblr. I have wrote things before on Wattpad, thought I'm not very good. This is short but I hope at least one person likes it lol.)

I changed the ending of ACOMAF sorry not sorry. I liked the idea of this fic lol

Warnings: uh, murder and violence? (did i do this right?)

Word count: 2647

Azriel was never the same when she died. None of them were. She was family. A sister. A cousin. A best friend. His mate.

She was taken from them in such a surprise. The High Lord of the Spring court took her and her mother, for what? Hatred? Maliciousness? Out of pure evil?

Rhysand got revenge for his sister and mother. Azriel got his revenge for the woman who raised him, and his mate. Alongside the High Lord of the Night Court, who lost his life that day too.

Killing the High Lord and his sons, except for one.

Azriel and Rhiannon didn't find out they were mates for about 100 years. It was a shock to both of them. They never had the chance to accept the bond before she was killed.

"Tell me about her," Feyra whispered, running her fingers up and down her mates bare chest. Rhysand didn't talk much about his sister. None of the inner circle did. It was too hard on them. No one even mentioned her name, especially not in front of Azriel.

Rhysand had told Feyre what happened to his sister and mother long ago. And Feyre talking about Elain and Nesta reminded him of her.

Rhysand smiled as he remembered her. "She was kind, selfless. Stubborn and hard headed," he chuckled a bit. The sound of his laugh warmed Feyre's heart. "Her and Cassian were much alike. The two of them were always causing mischief. It drove our mother crazy..." Rhysand paused, trying not to get choked up. "She was strong. Hell of a fighter. We taught her everything we knew. Illyrian women weren't meant to be fighters long ago, thats why most of them got their wings clipped."

Just the mention of what they use to do in the past made his blood boil. He took a deep breath to contain his anger. "Father never wanted her to fight either. But everyday after training I would come home and teach her everything i learned that day. Didn't matter how tired and sore I was. And she would do it perfectly. Never faulting. She loved to fly. Father never clipped her wings but he didn't want her flying either. I always went with her or covered for her when she wanted to."

"Can I ask about her and Azriel?" Feyra was nervous to ask about the two of them. She knew they were mates but never got a chance to accept the bond.

Rhys moved the hair out of her face, staring down and admiring her. He loved that she got him to talk about Rhiannon again.

And he nodded simply at her question.

"Why didn't they accept the bond?"

"They were going to. There was going to be a wedding. Mother even made her dress. But then she... " He couldn't talk about her death.

"I don't know when the bond snapped into place for them but the night Azriel came to tell me, I knew something was off with him. I have never EVER seen Azriel that scared and nervous. Azriel is so good at hiding his emotions but that night..." A huge smile was on his face as he remembered. "I thought Az was going to shit his pants right in front of me."

"But I was so happy for them. Two important people in my life becoming mates... I envied Azriel for a while. That he found his person. I wanted that." Tears welded up in his eyes as he looked down at Feyre. He lifted her up so he could place a kiss upon her lips. "Now I have and when I look at him I... I feel guilty. His mate his gone."

"I understand. I feel it sometimes too. How can I be so happy when others are not? How is it fair?"

"We never got a proper sending for them. We never got their wings. I-I don't even know what he did with them." As Rhys began to cry all Feyre could do was hold him. She herself cried for her mate, feeling the pain he was feeling through the bond.

Azriel smelled it the second they entered the castle. He knew that intoxicating scent anywhere. No matter if it had been centuries, he would never forget. It had to be old. He knew she had been here before. Just two times in the past with Cassian for whatever mission it had been.

Azriel almost got sick to his stomach when they finally saw it. Right above the cauldron, pinned to the wall like a trophy... Her glorious wings.

Everyone knew who they belonged to the second they got there. Somehow Feyre even figured it out, never even knowing her.

"The trap was so easy, I'm honestly a bit disappointed you didn't see it coming." Faster than any of them could see, Jurian fired a hidden ash bolt through Azriel's chest. Mor screamed.

They had no choice but to go with the king.

***

"They are beautiful... Illyrian wings. I just had to get some for myself." The King smiled evilly. "I have your father to thank for that." He directed it that to Tamlin. He motioned his soldiers to remove the wings from the wall.

What more could he do? Azriel is dying. Cassian's wings shredded. He's turned the Archeron sisters into Fae. He plans to turn the human queens too.

"Daemati are hard to come by nowadays. Your sister was also one, wasn't she Rhysand?" None of them dared to move. Rhysand said nothing, curling his fingers into fists. "Daemati are powerful. To have one at my hands..." He ran his dirty fingers down the wings. He snatched them from his guards and without blinking he threw them into the cauldron.

The room filled with a piercing screech and a blinding light from the cauldron. The room shook as if there were an earthquake. When he light faded everyone stared at the cauldron, waiting. Just waiting to see what happened next.

Then it happened. A hand shot out, followed by another as a figure pulled themselves out of it. The King of Hybern smiled wickedly as his plans were coming all together.

Everyones eyes were wide, even the Kings own men were shocked. The woman who submerged out of the cauldron, a ghost, but never forgotten. Her eyes completely white and fogged over. Not a single emotion on her face.

"Come," The King's voice echoed, ordering the female to him.

"Rhia," Rhysand choked out. His sister didn't even look at him. She just went and stood by the King of Hybern, doing exactly as he said as if she were a puppet, and he were the puppet master. "Rhiannon, please. It's me." Rhys was pleading with his sister. To look at him. To show something, anything. Was it really her?

Mor screamed her name through her sobbing. With whatever strength he had, Cassian had to hold her back. He couldn't risk the King of Hybern hurting her too. Cassian pleaded for her also. But none of them could snap her out of whatever spell the cauldron put her under.

"Rhiannon," Azriel's voice was barely a whisper. He was going in and out of consciousness. Feyre watched as the white light flickered for just a second in her eyes.

"Call to her again," Feyre said to Azriel only.

"Rhiannon," Azriel said as loud as he could. Feyre saw that her eyes flicker again. Again, she spoke. "I love you, Rhiannon."

And just like that, her eyes turned back to her normal glowing purple and her hands were around the King's throat, her entire body pinning him down to the ground. Rhysand, Mor and Feyre, the only ones not completely hurt were up to their feet in an instance to fight off the soldiers running to their king.

"You will never be a god," Rhiannon hissed, squeezing onto the Kings neck as hard as she could until his head was separated from his shoulders.

She stood up slowly, rolling her shoulders back and cracking her neck. She turned around to see her family, dripping in blood but all alive.

Rhia looked down at her bloody hands, to her arms, her legs. Her body was completely bare. Her skin still glistening from the liquid of the cauldron. She was alive. She flexed her wings out as she realized she had them back.

She looked down at the ground, seeing Cassian and Azriel. Both of them bleeding out and barely alive. Her eyes met her brothers. He was the last thing she saw before she blacked out.

***

Rhiannon awoke with a gasp, clutching onto her chest, body flailing around in the bed she was in. She began to calm down once she realized where she was. Though the room was different, she recognized the townhouse anywhere. She couldn't remember how she got here or what happened. Darkness. She remembered darkness. How long has it been?

She looked around the room, only now noticing the many people sleeping on the floor and in the chairs. Cassian was hanging off the couch in the room, Mor opposite of him, her feet basically kicking him in the face. Below them layed her brother on a mattress, a woman unfamiliar to her tangled beside him. To their left was Amren, arms crossed over her chest and her head hanging back as she was asleep in the chair.

As she looked to her right she finally saw him. He was using his arm as a pillow as he was sitting in a chair but laying his head on the side of the bed she lay. She reached out to him, his shadows wrapped around her fingers. His eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. She gasped and jumped back, eyes wide.

They stared at each other for what felt like minutes but was only seconds. Azriel made the first move as he grabbed her hand, winnowing them out of the bedroom and downstairs away from the sleeping others.

Images of what happened circled in her mind as she began to remember what happened in Hybern. "I heard you," Was the first thing she said, a sob escaping her mouth. Azriel placed his scarred hands on the sides of her face, tears rolling down his face.

"You were here and I still couldn't believe it. Madja said you may never wake up. It's been weeks. We never gave up on you. I never left your side. I'll never leave your side again." They held onto each other for a long moment, taking in this moment. Azriel dreamed of holding her in his arms every night. Against all odds, against everything, his dream came true. His mate was alive.

There was a loud thud upstairs making Rhiannon jump out of Azriel's embrace. Running, loud, footsteps shook the house as multiple people ran down the stairs. Azriel grabbed hold of her again, needing that closeness.

"Fucking move, Cas!" Was the first thing she heard from her brother as him and Cassian fell off the bottom two steps. Rhysand pushed Cassian's body off of him, looking up at his sister. Matching smiles came upon their faces as Rhysand jumped to his feet, pulling her out of Azriel's grip and into his arms.

"I thought I lost you forever," Rhys whispered into his sisters hair, kissing the top of her head. He pulled away just looking at her face. They're matching violet eyes both filling with tears.

"I couldn't save her," She shook her head. "I fought so hard Rhys. If not save myself then save her."

"I know, I know." Rhys soothed her, stroking his hand down the back of her hair. Rhys found the aftermath of the people who took them. There was at least 20 dead Spring Court soldiers. He and his brothers trained her well. "You're safe now."

"Okay, my turn!" Rhysand was pulled away from Rhiannon harshly. She let out a yelp as Cassian picked her up and spun her around the room.

"Easy, Cass. Don't break her." Amren barked behind him.

He set her down to her feet, kissing her cheeks and forehead. A goofy smile on his face. "I missed you too, Cassian." She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek also.

"Simmer down, Az. You're stinking up the room." Mor joked, making everyone else laugh. "Jealousy isn't a good look on you."

"Aw, Azzy you want a kiss too," Cassian reached for Az, only to get punched in the gut.

"Finally, come here my sweet," Mor laughed, pulling Rhia to herself now. Kissing her cheeks just as Cassian did. Everyone finally got their hugs and kisses with Rhiannon. Most going back for seconds. Even Amren wanted a hug.

Azriel always had to be right beside her, needed to be touching her always. Wether that was a gentle hand at the lower part of her back, or holding onto her hand.

"Rhia there is someone I want you to meet." Rhysand held his hand out to the woman who had been quietly observing the reunion from the side. "This is Feyre. My mate."

Rhia almost began to cry again but she held it back. "Your mate?" Rhysand's smile was so big. "You found your mate." She placed a gentle hand on her brothers face, seeing how happy he was just by the mention of the female.

Feyre waited patiently for Rhia to acknowledge her first. Rhiannon approached Feyre slowly. This was it. This is the moment Feyre had been nervously thinking about for the past few weeks.

"You're so beautiful," Rhia beamed, a bright smile on her face. Feyre and Rhys both let out a sigh of relief. Rhiannon's eyes immediately went down to the tattoo covering Feyre's arm. Her eyes wide at realizing what it meant. "High-" Her sentence was cut off short by Feyre hugging her.

"It is an honor to meet you." Feyre said to her. Everyone laughed at the look on Rhia's face, certainly not expecting that.

"The honor is mine, my High Lady." Rhia did a small bow to her, before taking Feyre's hands in hers. "I've always wanted a sister."

"Hey! What about me?" Mor barked loudly, making everyone laugh.

"Just ignore her, I have no idea who she is." Rhia 'whispered' to Feyre.

"Alright just cause you came back to life and shit, and this is easily the happiest day of my life, doesn't mean I won't kick your ass." Mor jumped toward Rhia who started to run away laughing loudly.

That laugh. That laugh is music to everyone's ears.

"Mother save us," Amren muttered, shaking her head.

As the moment came by, Azriel grabbed his mate, shielding her from Mor. A rare smile on his face.

"Ha!" Rhia laughed, pointing at Mor who couldn't get past Azriel's wings.

"So not fair." Mor pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "You can't hide behind him forever. He'll have to walk away at some point."

"Who says I'm ever leaving her side?" Azriel challenged. Mor rolled her eyes dramatically.

"So are we gonna be planning a wedding soon?" Cassian spoke up, wiggling his eyebrows and sending a wink at Rhia.

She suddenly got nervous, stepping out from behind him so they could face each other. "Do you still... Do you still want to accept the bond?" Rhia didn't know how long it had been she she died, but she knew it had been a couple centuries. What if Azriel found someone else? What if he's already married and fallen in love with someone else?

It was if Azriel could see exactly what was going on in her mind. Maybe he felt her sense of nervousness and fear through the bond.

"I have loved only you for centuries, and I will love you for many more." Azriel cupped her face in his hands, pressing a kiss to her lips. "I am yours, forever."

"And I am yours."

Acotar Masterlist

#azriel x oc #azriel acotar #azriel #azriel fanfic #azriel imagine #azriel shadowsinger #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic #acotar imagine #acotar #cassian #rhysand #a court of thorns and roses

[acourtofthought]

Feyre and Nesta hated how their father handled things and because of that they did not have much love for their father who was not a "fighter". As a result they chose his opposite when it came to who they ended up with, they chose two impressive warriors.

"How you were treated by your father as you were growing up helps shape your view of men in general and what you expect of them"

Compared to her sisters, Elain did love her father and it seems his gentle nature was something she latched on to.

"he was smiling mildly at his beloved Elain, the only one of us who bothered to really speak to him at all."

My father smiled freely, laughed readily, and doted on Elain, who in turn doted on him.

My father murmured his praises to Elain, who beamed at him and rested her head on his shoulder.

When depressed her father turned inward and shut down, not entirely different from how both Elain and Lucien have processed their past traumas though I will say Lucien definitely does not like to sit idle.

When happy, Elain's father smiled freely and laughed readily (similar to the Lucien we saw in book 1 and the Lucien we got hints of once he left Spring - he's not fully himself yet but it's easy to see who he is when not dealing with the all the heaviness).

And her father was business savvy to a certain extent:

I spied my father hunched over his desk, a little scale before him as he weighed an uncut ruby the size of a duck’s egg. He was clear-eyed again, and moved with a sense of purpose, of vibrancy, that I hadn’t seen since before the downfall.

“I’m thinking of buying the Beddor land,” my father was saying to Elain, who was the only one of us listening to him. “I heard a rumor it’ll go up for sale soon, since none of the family survived, and it would be a good investment property. Perhaps one of you girls might build a house on it when you’re ready.” Elain nodded interestedly,

The only reason his hand was forced with the three ships at the start of the series was because of bad deals made by the three generations before him.

Elain never seemed to care that he did not fight for them in the cottage, seemed to hang on to his words when he spoke of business deals and only ever seemed to desire his affection. To her, that was enough.

So it's worth paying attention to how SJM made sure to continue drawing even more parallels between Lucien and Papa Archeron:

Elain's first real love (her father), the man she held in high regard, and her mate share a way with words and intelligence.

And just as her father was very open with his affection and praise for Elain, SJM has written Lucien to share that characteristic as well. He was soothing and comforting with Feyre when he thought she had a nightmare and is complimentary of his female friends, always speaking highly of them.

I like how she's basically taken Elain and said, "I see your stubbornness when it comes to the mating bond but I'm going to literally make it impossible for you to not fall for Lucien in the end because I'm going to write him to be everything you respect and desire AND he's going to share a bond with the first man you ever loved."

That last part is huge because Elain can't talk to anyone else about her father without it bringing up negative emotions for them.

In Lucien (and even Vassa), SJM has given Elain another person who she can fondly remember her father with as they too share in those similar memories.

This post was inspired by @lorcanisdabest recent post:

#elucien #pro elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #elain x lucien #lucien and elain #elain and lucien #lucien spell cleaver #acotar series #character deep dive

[bettdraws]

The post about Elain being spoiled and having choices.

I completely agree, she can always make choices, even when she was human Nesta let her choose someone Nesta didn't seem to like.

This is why I never believed that the sisters would deny Elain from being with Az if she wanted to.

But it reminded me so much of a period book that I still don't think it's completely wrong. In the period book, Mocinha chose her future husband Rationally and that she thought she wanted forever, but she was not in love with him.

Elain remembered this, because I really believe that she is taking the easy way out without big emotions and she knows it and this maybe even influences the fact that Feyre likes Az.

That she is afraid of the bond, of thinking that she is being forced and of the strong feelings that the bond provokes, so she sent the thought that she wants to control what she feels and maybe it is easier with someone who has no bond and seems to be trustworthy.

Maybe the almost kiss was an attempt to forget Lucien who was nearby or even deep down she wanted him to see it to make it easier not to face the bond that exists between the two.

She doesn't want to deal with the Bond in any way, even if it costs her a good relationship with someone who will be her partner for the rest of her life, even if they don't stay together, I believe they should have a relationship of friends or almost.

I think she left her sisters' expectations on her and that she doesn't know how to deal alone with decisions that are beyond her control and are so complicated that she looks for the easiest way out.

Az is a comfortable path.

Lucien is a path full of emotions and would need to reveal much more of himself.

Note: I still think that Feyre's feelings and the interference that Elucien suffered also contributed.

This is exactly how I think she is feeling and the thought process behind kissing Az.

I’m so excited for when we have her POV because it would clear up so many things and I believe its a TELL that we haven’t had anything said about the matter from her perspective in the last book and no POV from her.

I believe the thing with Az makes sense in her perspective. Her life was completely changed, all her agency overthrown, she lost all her friends, and had to leave without even saying goodbye. I wouldn’t say she was spoiled but out of the three sisters, she was the one who was actually happy where she was, even though it would have been a “small” life. On top of that she has now a mate that was revealed to her by the bond snapping the same night of the traumatic event. And with this mate came also Graysen’s ruthless rejection. I feel like it could be easy to put the blame on someone, even if you are as intelligent as Elain, it would be easy to resent the person who embodies all of her loss: Lucien.

As I’ve said before, the relationship with Lucien is literally the highest stakes relationship that she could possibly embark in because if it works out (and I have a feeling she knows he would be perfect for her) she would literally have a mate for life, adding to the list of things that she has to come to terms with since becoming fae, and that’s not even taking into account her possible feelings of resentment towards him (albeit not logical, feelings are feelings), or even her fear of possibly losing another person incredibly important to her if she were to open up to Lucien and something happened to him.

I believe that after all that loss I would also be reluctant to enter the most intense, life changing and soul-entwining relationship of my life. That sounds completely terrifying if I put myself in her shoes.

Az is not only the easy choice, their relationship has no strings attached, she knows he would not tell anyone if she wished it, she knows he probably would be “using” her too because not long ago he was still caught up with Mor. I think Elain is smart enough to tell he wasn’t in love with her.

She could be kissing him for a lot of different reasons (these are all theories): her wanting to regain control of her life, her wanting to prove to herself and to others that a mating bond’s pull can be overturned if she wished it, her self sabotaging her possible relationship with Lucien because she doesn’t want to give in to the thing that she knows will give her happiness, but would also mean she has given up to the circumstances, that she gave up who she used to be, she let them all win. Her probably thinking Az likes her for who she is, rather than how she probably thinks Lucien only is interested in her because of the bond (which is heartbreaking because we KNOW Azriel is fixated on Elain’s bond).

Anyway, I’m not saying she doesn’t like Az and that she is 100% using him for her agenda, no. I think Elain is very much going through it, even two years later, she is still struggling and I think its so crazy to think otherwise, especially when she is to have her own book. Azriel was the one to show her attention other than Lucien, but Elain probably sees Az’s attention as genuine and not tied to any bond.

The almost kiss and rejection from Az served again as another tension point between her and Lucien. Lucien was there that night, did he notice? Elain also now has to deal with a second rejection that she probably didn’t see coming, and she will probably realize it had to do with her mating bond with Lucien, adding to the resentment she could probably be harboring, not to Lucien as an individual but to their bond.

I can’t wait for when all this gets brought to the surface. Their relationship is so complex and this was only on Elain’s side, we have a whole can of worms from Lucien’s side as well.

Their relationship is nothing if not filled with angst and pent up emotions and suppressed instincts and I cant wait for these two to unravel onto eachother, to explode and erupt and finally say and do everything they have been keeping under their controlled personalities.

#the way I am obsessed with this angst #elucien #pro elucien #anti e/riel #e/riel is the plot device for Elucien not the way around #elain archeron #pro elain archeron #lucien vanserra

[curiousity-cell]

i’m very tired so i’m gonna post some of the scenes that made me fall head over heels for the archeron sisters 🫶🫶

gonna start with love of my life feyre archeron. the main character, boss bitch, saviour of prythian. for feyre’s scenes, i chose some scenes that proved how good of a high lady she was always built to be, even before being crowned as one. :)

i have always seen feyre as a blend of both elain & nesta (because you know damn well her mother & father werent parenting her). feyre at her core has always been kind, and brave, and so strong. she’s loving, and caring. as elain says, she is the foundation of the sisters.

she has some moments where she does - what i like to call - explode (like nesta). but that is okay. she’s always apologetic and understanding and the most important thing is that she /listens/. she listens and learns and that’s what makes her a good high lady. she’s open minded and enjoys learning. she absolutely deserves her crown, anyone who criticises her for “not being good enough” has not understood feyre’s character at all.

nesta archeron. tough, strong, passionate nesta. she is fiercely protective & fiercely loving. yes, she’s struggled. of course she has. as the other sisters have, but she worked through it (like feyre) and she’s healed now. here are some scenes that made me just Get her yk?

nesta i love in a different way to the other archeron girlies. elain and feyre i always see as my now-self. my semi healed self. or my “trying to be better” self (as in. trying to be kinder to myself and not push everybody away type of thing).

but nesta was who i was. or rather who she was before acosf. nesta is who i was on my bad days. i’m not proud of it and neither is nesta. nesta says it herself, she would shoot out daggers with her words as a ward to keep herself from being hurt. to mask her hurt. this is, as nesta says in her book not a good thing.

she was cruel, she was unkind and she could be pretty fucking selfish and mean. but she learns. she is learning. that to me is the most important thing for anybody going through similar mental health struggles or struggles in general is that that person learns and is apologetic for how they acted. which nesta, at the end, is. that is why i love nesta. or rather why i came to love nesta. and i’m happy she’s found herself a place in the valkyries and a PURPOSE. which is super important to someone like nesta

that last quote is also really important to me because it shows true growth. seeing past her bitterness of rhys - as being someone who could offer feyre happiness and a safe space when nesta couldn’t - shows so much of who she wants to become. i love her.

finally, elain archeron. we know how i feel about elain. kind, soft, yet also strong, elain. often disregarded, often overlooked, but still powerful elain. as fiercely loving and protective as nesta, but remains gentle. here’s some scenes that made me fall for elain :)

the first scene i posted is one of my all time favourite elain scenes and i think it’s because it encompasses all that elain is in a single quote. elain’s trauma response is always frowned upon by some people in the fandom, because she shuts down, she cries, she isolates herself

this is something that i also do when i’m having a bad mental health day (now. used to be more like nesta but that’s not me anymore). but this scene in particular shows that all elain needs is a little bit of time. a little bit of time to adjust to new circumstances, time to mentally adjust to what’s happened to her & to understand what’s happening around her. which she does.

elain is the one that coaches feyre into thinking about what the next steps should be in helping her people heal. (which btw. it’s okay to ask for help and support from other people. feyre listening to elain and applying what she’s learnt is exactly what’s sometimes needed in a ruler. this is not criticism of either woman).

elain has always been kind at her core. during the poverty, which everyone pins against elain, she is said as being not herself. she is (as all the other archeron sisters are) at her worst. but, during her healing, she finds herself again. she recovers & she apologises for how she was & she is forgiven.

she’s so very strong. elain is so strong, just like her sisters. she’s so much more than “the soft one” and i can’t wait to get inside her head in her book when it comes out. so so so excited.

that’s the end of my thinkpost but i’ll leave u with some of my favourite archeron sister bonding scenes (slash them healing the broken bond between them)

#elain archeron #pro elriel #pro elain #acotar #pro elain archeron #elriel #pro nesta #pro nesta archeron #nesta archeron #pro feyre archeron #pro feyre #feyre archeron #archeron sisters #archeron sisters supremacy #nessian #pro nessian #feysand #pro feysand #nesta and feyre #nesta and elain #feyre and nesta #feyre and elain #elain and feyre #elain and nesta #my girls #ghostposting #ghost posting

[thevalkyriesshadow]

Okay, have y'all seen the evil twin theory with Gwyn and Catrin? If not, here's the reddit post.

NOW

While the theory has some interesting points and would make a hell of a good plot, there are a few holes in the theory/questions I have and wanted to discuss with anyone because I can't stop thinking about this theory LOL

My burning questions/thoughts under the break....

1. How did Catrin and Koschei meet? How did she become tangled in his pursuits?

2. Can scent be glamoured? If so, this makes sense, if not then this theory doesn't really work? (I can't remember if Feyre's scent was glamoured in ACOTAR)

3. If that wasn't Gwyn in the BC, how did she know to playfully call Az a Shadowsinger in the famous line: See you tomorrow, Shadowsinger (because that to me is a call back to the night at the ring BUT I also think Clotho is going to play a role in how Gwyn and Az get together (it's not a coincidence she's named after one of the fates - perhaps she did tell Gwyn it was from the shadowsinger? Then that would explain the teasing way she said it? Like she would know the necklace came from him?) I also think she has a good sense of smell based on evidence in the book and could smell Az and Elain on the necklace, but anyway...

4. I still think this theory leads to Az and Gwyn together because the spark in his chest was him thinking about the real Gwyn and her bright eyes and happiness, so even if everything else is fabricated, the spark is real - their interactions after Solstice are real.

5. The story of Koschei and The Little Mermaid have a dilemma where someone has to choose the right person, their true love and I think that's the choice Az is going to be faced with

6. The Little Mermaid part of it is a set up that leads to either Gwyn or Az losing their voice, and them knowing who their true love/mate is but not being able to voice it, thus leading to a very dramatic moment of one of them trying to get across the truth...perhaps this is where TT or Mor come in to help? Or even Elain with her visions?

I thought the theory was interesting and fun, but like I said there are some holes in it that I'm wondering about! Let me know your thoughts!

#gwynriel #acotar #gwyneth berdara #gwyn and catrin #evil twin theory #catrin berdara #acotar theory

[ae-neon]

What Should Nesta Have Done? (Cabin Years Ramble)

okay this came about as a response to THIS post (I'm linking because I don't want to invalidate the take, this is just my opinion which is informed by my own bias) @mariekecath I hope you don't mind, I just like to ramble

In response to OP's excerpts, I said

Literally in the last two excerpts 1) Nesta is making sure Feyre doesn't get robbed, which she explains and 2) goes out to chop wood AGAIN, without being asked to

You know who did nothing and was asked nothing by Feyre? Elain. Feyre also only ever favoured Elain in that way and then never really held her accountable or even pressed the issue of Rhys forgiving Elain but not Nesta because "NeStA iS iLLyRiAn"

Feyre and Nesta are two sides of the same coin, something Feyre acknowledges in the first few chapters. Feyre does good but her thoughts can be brutal and selfish - she wishes her family would die, she says it's okay her mother died because they have one less mouth to feed, she thinks Andras might be a Fae and kills him thinking good riddance.

And that's fine that's just who she is in these harsh circumstances, that's how she deals with everything

Nesta just says all of it out loud. The acotar slut shaming comment was in defense of her relationship with Tomas, who she loved at that point. She goes to chop wood twice, even if she complains about doing it. She stands up to the CoTB because of what the Fae did to the humans. Nesta doesn't trust the mercenaries but resists and HL's glamour + takes a two day journey to the wall to try bring Feyre back. She also tries to make up when Feyre returns.

[I hope this doesn't come off as mean or harsh, I'm just trying to fit as much as I can in this limited word count.]

Feyre dislikes her whole family except maybe Elain but even then it's not like she's overly fond of her. That's just how they were. But they were family and they loved each other.

Until sjm overplayed the cruel step sisters trope to try make Feyre's trauma backstory comparable to the Fae when she abandoned that Feyre's humanity was what made her special.

@wolfnesta had a great response to the initial post: HERE

I see a lot of "I acknowledge what Nesta did" vs "Nesta bears no responsibility" stuff these days and I get how Nesta fans can find themselves on either side.

But I think it's important to acknowledge an important factor in this : sjm is a bad author.

This might be an uncomfortable statement for some of you because after all; SJM wrote Nesta, many fans are readers of all three of her series and she obviously has all of us so wrapped up in these worlds, right?

Well, no. She is a bad author. She is inconsistent, lazy with her world building and character development, been called out for plagiarism, racism, sexism, portraying toxic behaviour as good and romanticizing abusive tendencies.

Personally, I wouldn't care about these bad elements if all the books were adult fantasies - and yes i know she was forced to publish under YA initially, but she should have taken that into account and changed the material to reflect that. That's her responsibility as an adult writing for teens.

ANYWAYS ALL THAT TO FINALLY GET TO THE POINT OF THIS POST (SORRY)

If SJM had been a better author, her initial book (or at least her retconning) would have included acknowledging Elain and Nesta as fully fleshed out characters and reflecting that they did take part in life in the Cabin from cooking to cleaning.

If there can be a second daemati and whole scenes revisited and blatantly contradicted for Rhysand's sake - then Nesta could have had a small gig as a governess at the Beddor house, Elain could have been Papa A's primary caretaker and planted herbs and veg alongside her flowers.

But SJM is a bad author. She could have humanised the characters who are supposed to be special specifically for their humanity by : let Feyre acknowledge her own sometimes selfish pov, give Nesta the credit she deserves for doing her part even if she complained about doing it, let Elain be an active person outside of (BOTH) her sisters coddling her.

Instead, Feyre must be fully fae-ized, complete with doubling down on the no nuance trauma porn backstory where she starts hunting at 14 years old? no I mean 11 years old? Well actually she was only 8 when her dying mother passed sole responsibilty of the family and Feyre immediately became the only human in a room full of NPCs.

[AGAIN JUST A REMINDER its Feyre who doesn't even ask Elain to do anything but expects it of Nesta and their disabled father. Feyre also only protects and coddles Elain. Feyre and Nesta are two sides of the same coin]

So in answer to the title; Nothing.

You either accept what Sarah Says and acknowledge Nesta and Elain were the evil step sister archetypes and credit them for their development - that alone makes Feyre the asshole for not painting Nesta but painting Elain.

OR you break the Sarah Says rule and think of them as 3D characters and acknowledge Feyre's bias towards her own struggle neglects to take into account her sister's contributions (- which again makes Feyre the asshole for not painting Nesta but painting Elain)

#acotar #sjm is a bad author #nesta archeron #elain archeron #anti feyre #just in case #but its not #anti sjm #anti acomaf #its the worst book #sjm critical #nesta deserves better #pro nesta

[daybreakmusings]

I was wandering around the tags and came across the worst take today. Basically the summary of the post goes like this:

Nesta has never done anything for Elain besides just “sitting with her in the library post turning” to prevent her from doing something stupid like jumping out the window. They then go on to say that since Elain was never written to be suicidal...it was all just an excuse for Nesta to avoid interacting with the IC and not genuine care or concern on Nesta’s part. 

And it gets better. Remember that time when Elain got captured by the cauldron after Nesta’s first scry attempt? Apparently she’s the villain for that too. They reference Nesta telling Azriel: “You will Die” when he said that he was getting back as proof that Nesta was wrong for hesitating and not a good sister because she did not try to save Elain like Feyre did.

They end their post stating that “its sad how Nesta would do such for Elain but there are no actions to back this up. All Nesta has done is try to control Elain and suppress her”

I don’t even know where to start with this take but i’ll try to keep it short. But I blame myself for wondering around the actor/acosf tags. How is it possible that these takes only get worse as time goes on?

1. Nesta has never done anything for Elain besides just sitting with her and it was really an excuse to avoid the IC

I kid you not. I actually had to stop and process this for a moment. How anyone can even think this is true is beyond me. From the start of book one, Nesta lived for Elain. In case OP forgot,  It wasn’t just Elain who had been traumatized from the cauldron, but Nesta too. 

In fact, one could argue that Nesta’s experience was significantly worse. The cauldron loved Elain. Loved her so much that it even gave her a gift. The same couldn’t be said for Nesta. Who knows how her experience went in comparison. Yet despite all of that, Nesta was always there for Elain. Nesta made sure that the windows were locked just in case. We were never in Elain’s head to know if she was suicidal, but Nesta prepared for the worse and somehow that’s a bad thing? Somehow this equates to her as “doing nothing?”. Elain was so removed from the world and was experiencing so much pain that she detached from everything and everyone. Anyone in Nesta’s position would have done the same.

As for the “avoiding to interact with the IC part, the only people who actually visited the sisters was Rhys and Cassian. None the IC came near them for weeks...so how can Nesta avoid people she never sees?  Either way, should she want to take the time to heal and familiarize herself with her new body/new world without the IC around, she has ever right to do so. Not even Feyre was open to interacting with the IC when she first came to Velaris. 

“Secondly,” Rhys went on, “in regard to the two bastards at my door, it’s up to you whether you want to meet them now, or head upstairs like a wise person, take a nap since you’re still looking a little peaky...”

“I was drowning in that old heaviness, clawing my way up to a surface that might not ever exist. I’d slept for the Mother knew how long, and yet … “Just come get me when they’re gone.”

One thing that bothered me about Nesta and Elain’s  relationship in ACOSF was that Elain never tried to meet Nesta half way. It was either Nesta do this is this particular way or nothing at all. Nesta even offered suggestions stating that Elain could have had dinner with her instead but Elain never followed through. Elain isn’t entirely to blame either. Nesta even told Feyre that she loved music but Feyre didn’t believe her. Music could have been a great way for them to get through to Nesta.

I can also understand the betrayal. When Elain was in a catatonic state, she was so removed from life and reality despite Nesta always being there for her. Nesta was the only person who could have shared her trauma but Elain was so focused on what she lost, that she didn’t stop and remember what she had. Rather than turn to Nesta and help each each other, she detached and withdrew into herself. 

When Nesta was detaching into herself and withdrawing, Elain villainizes her for it and gaslights her into feeling like she is overacting. 

2. Nesta not rescuing Elain 

You mean the Nesta who is racked with guilt and still in shock? What you are seeing isn’t someone who doesn’t want their sister to be safe from harm. This is someone who has seen the vast army of fae warriors prepared to fight them all and has lost all hope.

“Nesta sat with her head in her hands inside my tent. She did not speak, did not move. Coiled in on herself, clinging to stay whole”

“Her eyes were red-rimmed, lips thin. “No, you will not.” She pointed to the map on the table. “I saw that army. Its size, who is in it. I saw it, and there is no chance of any of you getting into its heart. Even you,” she added when Cassian opened his mouth again. “Especially not when you’re injured.”

You think Nesta doesn’t want Elain to be safe? That if she could, she would have gone in their place? Keep in mind, Nesta is still a newly turned fae with a human mindset and has no combat experience whatsoever. You really think she would have been much help in a stealth/rescue mission? But yeah...let’s blame Nesta for not doing more 🙄

3. Nesta was controlling and suppressing Elain

Nesta does not control or suppress Elain? Nesta caters to her far too much.

Nesta may not have liked Greyson but she never tried to change or interfere in their relationship. Nesta also stayed back in the human lands because Elain did not want to leave. Elain even gives the IC the story about how Nesta avenged her after her childhood bullies tormented her when they were younger. A great part of why Nesta agreed to help Feyre with the queens despite the danger was because of Elain’s insistence.

In no way does Nesta dictate what Elain says, does, wears or behaves. Elain is capable of her own decisions and has been from the start. Elain is not a child. She has agency and is responsible for her own decisions. 

Truthfully, I never saw Elain deliver even 10% of what Nesta gives to her. 

Anyway, seeing this take made me irritated enough to post this

#long post #like looong #acotar #nesta stan #nesta archeron #azriel acotar #pro nesta #nesta supremacy #anti acosf #acosf #anti feyre #azriel shadowsinger #anti elain #nesta acotar #anti feyre archeron #anti elain archeron #sjm critical #elain archeron

[bubybubsters]

Left Behind Part 2 (Lucien x reader)

a/n: your wish is my command even if only one or two people wish, it is still my command. Wow 2 posts in one day!

⚠️: few curses

Masterlist part 1 part 3 epilogue

Luciens POV

Luciens words rang through the room before silence fell again. Finally Alex growled and drew a knife. Lucien started at the sight of the blade, he’d gifted that to y/n when they first became a couple.

“I am so such thing. I am y/n’s daughter because my so called ‘father’ never bothered with me.” She snarled and advanced on Lucien. He opened his mouth but no words came out because he knew she was right. He hadn’t bothered with this girl at all. jurian stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Alex to restrain her.

“I- I didnt know you existed, Im so sorry.”

“Sorry dosent cover it, father. You at least could have visited my mom, you two lovebirds were together 37 years after all.” Alex put the knife away and Jurian hesitantly released her. Lucien felt like ducking under the table and yelling I dont exist! Alex started again, “and you broke up with her for a female who has been giving you the cold shoulder ever since you’ve met!” Alex sat down miserably her indifferent mask falling into a mask of anger and longing. longing for a fatherly figure, Lucien realized. this time when Alex spoke her voice was softer, “Mom got a promotion to emissary of the dawn court 5 years ago but she couldnt even enjoy it because you promised her that once she got that promotion, the two of you would go to the winter court together. She hasn’t even looked at another male in that way because she still fucking loves you. You who left her for another, you who never came back, not even to visit. And yet she still harbors the hope that one day you might return her love. She thinks you're worth fighting for.”

The last words were spoken so softly that Lucien had to lean in to hear them. She thinks you’re worth fighting for. She still loves you.

Lucien stood on wobbly feet and rounded the table to pull his daughter into a tight hug. To be the person she fought for and to be the shoulder she cried on.

*****

Y/N’s POV

Y/n couldn’t find Alex anywhere, having just gotten back from a tiring day at work she had searched most everywhere for the kid. God damned 14 year olds. There was only one place left; Jurian and Vassa’s manor. She groaned at the thought of flying there, plus it was dusk, they would have to stay the night. That is, if Alex was even there.

On the flight to the manor, y/n’s thoughts strayed to Lucien. She, Rhys, and Feyre had become good friends during their meetings they had. Rhys had told her Elain still showed no interest in Lucien (something y/n couldnt fathom) and was always giving him the cold shoulder. That made her feel smug.

When she reached the manor, the sun was down and her wings were starting to ache from all the flying today. Alex had better be here, she was going to murder that child. Y/n banged on the door until she heard footsteps on the other side. The door opened and Jurian stood there, when he beheld her he paled. She cracked a smile. “I don’t look that bad do I?”

Jurian smiled slightly thought it didnt reach his eyes. “Nah, Alex is here.” He sighed, pulling her into a hug. “He’s here. He and Alex… talked. I think they’re getting along. Also, why do I have to play chaperone?”

Y/n stiffened at his words but smiled wryly, “because it’s your house.” She brushed past him with a grateful pat on the back as he followed her to the dining room. She was immediately greeted with a hello and hug from Alex. Stepping around Alex, y/n shot her a look that said, you are so getting murdered. Alex had the nerve to smirk.

“Y/n….”

Her eyes went straight to Lucien and she barley held back a gasp. She hadn’t seen him in so long. He was gorgeous.

Y/n and Lucien stared at eachother for what seemed like eternity until Jurian cleared his throat pointedly.

“As much as I love Fae staring contests, Vassa will be here soon so lets prepare some dinner shall we?”

The two broke eye contact and simultaneously glowered at Jurian. Jurian gulped. Alex saved him. “Im hungry so stop staring and be productive.” Jurian shot her a grateful look. Both fae turned their glares to Alex who dragged Jurian into the kitchen.

It was going to be a long night

A/n: Part 3? Ask and you shall be tagged

#acotar #fanfic #Part 2 #daddy lucien #lucien vanserra #lucien acotar #bubybubsters #acowar #lucien x you #lucien x reader #Idiot lucien

[bookofmirth]

Personally, I never saw Nesta to be verbally abusive towards Feyre. Mean and difficult 100%, but there was nothing Nesta was giving that Feyre wasn't capable of serving up herself.

As for the post about Nesta feeling the need to deserve love, I agree that love isn't something that needs to be deserved or earned. Though I can understand how the sisters would need to re-establish trust between them after everything that has happened.

My issue with Nesta's healing journey was how one-sided accountability had been. Nesta has some things to answer for 100%. But for every insinuation that Feyre or Elain or others have wronged Nesta, there has never been accountability on their end.

As mentioned in ACOSF, Feyre isn't perfect and has made her own mistakes. And in light of this, I don't think its fair to say that Nesta is abusive or that she alone needs to face reckoning for her actions.

And it doesn't just stop at Feyre and Elain. Does Rhysand get a free pass as well? Amren? Even Cassian?

I dislike Nesta's healing journey mainly because it shows that once a character has been designated as "abusive", everyone else is justified in their treatment towards them. And once "redeemed" those actions are forgiven and never addressed.

I've never had a problem with Nesta realizing that she has hurt others and that change needs to happen. But it was never fair to me that those who have hurt her can avoid owning up to their own part in the problem.

I don't delve into the whole "was Nesta abusive" discourse myself because I think the fandom throws that word around pretty casually without understanding what it means. Mainly in an attempt to discredit ships or characters they don't like, but nonetheless, that word is losing meaning in this space.

I do take issue with the idea that Feyre (or almost anyone else) was equally cruel to Nesta, though. She absolutely was not. Everyone is mean sometimes, yes. But Nesta was intentionally, purposefully cruel and came up with insults that she knew would touch on insecurities. They are not the same.

*This post is not anti Nesta, I enjoy her character for her complexity and I feel like I have a good understanding of who she is, especially after rereading acosf. However, I do not and never will excuse her behavior or try to act like it was something different than it was, just so I can show why Nesta would win the "Who Was More Right" war. If I had to choose a side, it wouldn't be hers, but then again I'm not in the business of choosing sides. Also anon, a lot of my response here are not to you directly, but about how I see people talking about Nesta in the fandom, and these thoughts have been in my head for a while now.

I've been having these thoughts about intentions for a while because that's the biggest difference in how I see Nesta's behavior, and how I see other characters'. It was rare that people (if they weren't supposed to be villains or evil) said or did anything with the intention of hurting Nesta. It was very, very common for her to say or do things with the intention of hurting them, though.

I just cannot stress this enough. Nesta INTENTIONALLY was cruel to people. Nesta INTENTIONALLY hurt people. There are so, so many examples of Nesta being intentionally cruel to people that I can't even list them all. She wasn't just mean. She wasn't just rude. She looked for people's weaknesses and used those weaknesses against them, often for no good reason.

You can come up with every reason and excuse in the world for Nesta to have acted the way she did, and none of it will be good enough for me because personally, no amount of reasons for someone's behavior would make me okay with that person treating someone else like shit. We can't control our feelings, and those emotions are valid, but that's not the same thing as our behavior.

Saying that Nesta needed to atone for her actions is a statement about Nesta. It's not a statement about anyone else, so saying "Nesta needs to atone" and then someone saying "well what about this other character", well that's a lovely red herring you picked up at the market but your statement about character B does nothing to discredit the fact that yes, Nesta needed to atone. She still does, because she and Elain haven't worked out anything between the two of them yet. TBH I think that Nesta still has work to do because a few actions don't make up for a lifetime of cruelty. In the post you responded to, I said that I think there is still ground to be made in terms of people trusting Nesta because they have had their support and their love thrown back in their faces over and over for years. You don't just get over that.

Part of owning up to her actions is realizing that her feelings do NOT excuse the way that she was treating people. IMO, saying "well other people were mean to Nesta too" is completely beside the point. Her healing was about her emotions, her actions, her consistent pattern of behavior for YEARS. It wasn't about other people. Her relationships with other people is certainly part of it, but not because there was equal culpability. There absolutely was not because other people did not set out to wound Nesta in the way that she intended to wound them. And it would be counterproductive to Nesta's healing if she were to point fingers (or even if the narrative were to), rather than look inwards at herself. Nesta needed to look inward to better understand why she behaved the way she did, because her actions were symptoms of deeper hurt - they were not (always) the result of what other people did to her. I think that's my main point. Nesta's healing is about Nesta in ways that other characters' healing arcs have not been. She has had some bad shit happen to her, yes. And she reacted in ways that were not only self-destructive, but detrimental to her relationships, too. No amount of "well what about when Feyre said this thing that one time" negates those facts.

#not even going to tag this #stay back satan fandom #I feel more comfortable talking about how much I dislike e*riel #than I do talking about Nesta at this point #ask #anon #I'll delete rude asks #don't even try

[nitecourtfairytail]

A Mama Archeron crack theory/headcanon

Before I begin this insane, potentially rambling post, I’d like to thank the wonderful @elainsweetcobalt. You are such an amazing friend to me, a beautiful soul and overall good, strong person. (Just in case you haven’t heard that in a while.) Te amo 💕

She and I have spent many nights discussing ridiculous plot points, what we wished would happen, what we hope for and (obviously) crack theories in the ACoTaR/SJM universe, and because of that I was able to flesh out some of this thanks to her help.

Now to the meat and potatoes:

What if Mama Archeron is the Mother?

My theory/head canon is that Mama Archeron (The Mother) was a truly immortal being. She roamed the earth, not just Prythian or the Continent, because why not?, She’s immortal, and at some point she met Papa Archeron. She used her own connections to help him in his travels and made him the Prince of Merchants with her knowledge of other cultures.

Either a bond or simply true love blossomed between them. She didn’t want to be without him and he her. So she gave up her immortality-her magic. It went into the cauldron and she put it in (what she thought) was safe keeping.

The Mother had never actually raised her creations;She never birthed them. So when Nesta was born, although she did love her child, she was unsure of how to show it. (I want to stop for a sec and say I’m not trying to excuse the abuse and neglect the sisters endured by their mother, just putting together a narrative for a wild theory. Please don’t come at me) since she didn’t know how to show it, Mother chose to teach her daughter how to persevere in high society to try and ensure Nesta wouldn’t be disrespected or taken advantage of.

When Elain was born, she favored Papa Archeron. While Mother loved both of her daughters, she unintentionally gave Elain a gentler life because she looked more like the man she gave up her magic for. She then put more responsibility on Nesta to protect her sister.

Then came Feyre, followed shortly after by Mother’s illness. She hadn’t expected to fall ill-hadn’t considered it. She used to be immortal! It never occurred to her that humans sometimes died of illness, or that she could be one of them. She did, however, see Feyre’s resilience and determination, even at a young age.

Despite having given up her magic, a tiny amount still remained. I believe this is what allowed the batboys to feel their bonds with the sisters before they were turned. When Mother was on her deathbed, she was struck with a vision-her first and only since she became human-of Feyre (who was saying her goodbyes at the time).

Flashes of Feyre’s life: poverty, hunting, falling for Tamlin, her trials, Rhysand, Velaris, becoming High Lady. But most importantly, Mother saw her youngest daughter mated and in love, holding her own child, and with her sisters and their own loves beside her-laughing and smiling.

Mother asked her to take care of the family because she saw that Feyre would lead them to a better life despite the hardships that would come after her death.

Fast forward to the sisters being kidnapped and thrown in the cauldron. Elain went first. The cauldron held her immortality and magic, therefore a piece of their mother was inside it. When Elain was pulled into the water the magic recognized her. Not because it knew her as The Mother’s child, but because she favored Papa Archeron.

The cauldron/The Mother’s magic gifted her everything it could, because it was reminded of the man she loved.

When Nesta went in, not only was Nesta already angry (rightfully so) but she was resentful and wanted revenge, so without remorse or a second thought, Nesta stole from it. HOWEVER, what she stole was actually a piece of The Mother’s soul (possibly the last bit of magic that left her when she succumbed to her illness as a mortal.)

When Nesta saved Feyre and Nyx, that piece of soul was released-NOT Nesta’s power as we thought-and Mama Archeron saved her daughter and grandson to ensure the vision she had on her deathbed came true. She was who Cassian saw.

Please take all of this with a HEAPING pile of salt. It’s just a crazy theory that was fun to think up and piece together, and I’m still not sure it entirely finished.

#acotar totally hinged unhinged theory #acotar theory #my theory #the mother #mama archeron #papa Archeron #elain archeron #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #the archeron sisters #the batboys #pro elriel #crack theory

[witchersoldier]

Stars He Hung || part two

azriel x fem!reader

PART ONE PART THREE

SUMMARY: He hung the stars for you. Then he made you cry them all.

WARNINGS: (+16) first person pov, angst, suicidal thoughts, unrequited love, more angst, probably bad writing.

WORD COUNT: +1200

Author's Note: I feel like I rushed into this one and it ended up more of a filler chapter than super important part of the story. It's not as good as I thought it'd be. But more is to come, hopefully faster than part two came. This was not proofread. Also sorry if I forget to tag anyone, I suck at this posting fics thing

tag list: @clara-geekhime

@yakoxshadow

@feysandzoyalailover

@tell-me-a-poem

•••

“Y/N sweetheart, are you awake?” someone knocked on my bedroom door, asking for me with a soothing voice. Barely awaken and already had a hammering headache, the consequences of crying myself to numbness hitting stronger than ever. I sat up on the bed, stretching my legs and arms. “Who is it?” I asked in between yawning. Slowly walking to the mirror placed above my dresser, I saw my reflection and the remaining golden stains on my face and neck. “It’s me, Feyre. Can I come in?” shit, I thought. I must have cried more after washing my face last night, when I thought I had calmed down. “Just a moment, please.” I responded while running to the bathroom sink to wash my face as fast as I could. Just before opening the door, I noticed my face wasn’t the only thing stained with golden tears, my pillow was too. Extending a hand towards the pillow, shiny purple tendrils of light seeped from me and reached to turn the messy side down.

Opening the door when everything seemed in order, Feyre’s big blue eyes greeted me, a sympathetic smile matching her doe eyes. “I won’t beat around the bush, so please, let’s sit down so we can talk.” She asked, worry in her voice. “Feyre, I appreciate your concern, really. But everything’s fine, you don’t have to worry.” I tried to assure her, but she just ignored my words and took my hand in hers, leading me to the lilac armchairs I had by the window, near the bookshelf-covered wall. Sitting down, I stared at her for quite some time before she spoke, “I talked with Amren earlier, about what I saw last night.” The words were carefully said to me, she knows it’s a touchy subject and I know that what she found about my condition is not going to be good news. “How bad is it?” I want nothing more than to be over with this conversation, so I can go back to the never ending self-pity cycle. “It’s a disease called Star Tear, caused by-” she paused, taking in a long breath before announcing “It’s caused by unrequited love.” I saw pain and confusion in Feyre’s eyes, it hurt her to tell me about this. Which is totally understandable, I’d hurt too, if I had to tell my best friend the fae she’s hopelessly in love with doesn’t reciprocate her feelings. But why is there confusion in her? Everything is so obviously clear. “The star light you’re crying; it’ll damage your vision. Within the first five days, the colors you see will start to fade away, until the only color you can see is from the golden tears.” Feyre was fidgeting with her hands. It’s been such a long time since I saw her antsy, anxious. “What happens after the five days? Do I die?” If I’m honest with myself, that’d be a great relief. Not having to deal with the shame, the pain he’s putting me through. “No. After those five days, you start losing your vision. If by the seventh day you’re still crying stars, you’ll be permanently blind.” How poetic, I think, living in the City of Starlight, crying stars for the love you give to a male who doesn’t seem to know how to love, then being blinded by love and stars. All those dreams I had as a youngling, about loving someone who makes you see stars, they were so misinterpreted. Everything I once craved turned into my own ruin. I dug my own grave, I cursed my own future. I deserve this awful destiny; I should be fated to an even worse one. I was so stupid. I am so stupid. He made me stupid.

“Thank you for letting me know, Fey, but I need to be alone right now. Please.” Holding back those stupidly bright tears were so difficult, so fucking difficult. Feyre has so much do deal with, I can’t stress her any further. I’d never forgive myself if I was to blame for worrying her during her pregnancy. This is the one thing I can’t bear to do. She stands up, but not to leave my room as I hoped she would. She stood in front of me, offering her hand before she sat by the arm of my own chair. Looking down at me, with her eyes so warm and comforting, “Y/N, I…” Feyre stopped as if she was balancing her words and deciding against voicing her thoughts. “It’s okay. Take your time. When you’re ready, come down and let’s have something to eat, okay?” I nodded before she left.

★

Overthinking all night, I barely got any sleep. Tossing and turning in my bed, my blanket fell off so many times, I lost count. My cheeks were once again dirty with star tears as I stare at my reflection in the mirror, trying to look presentable for the day. My temples hurt, headache taking over me, with something like pieces of a puzzle itching in my mind, trying to come together. She needed to ask me something, I noticed that. Whatever it was, must be like a blow to the stomach, something so hard to take in that Feyre, my High Lady and best friend, couldn’t ask me. As if anything she had to say could make me hurt more. Little did she know that there’s almost nothing left of me to hurt. Seeing Azriel giving Elain that necklace, being so close to her, feeling his desire, it ripped me apart. My chest tightened so much, there wasn’t enough air in the world for me to breath at that moment. I felt like my heart was tied by a rope so strong and powerful that I couldn’t get away from the scene. I was frozen in place. Tied to him. And the more I had to stretch that rope that bound us together, the more it hurt. Walking away from him physically hurt. I don’t think something could ever hurt me more than the weight of this rope on my chest. Crushing my heart, begging for release. Release.

★

I didn’t realize he had finished cleaning me up until I missed his body warmth beside me. Blindly reaching out to him, I touched his scarred hand, grabbing his attention back to me. “I love you, did you know that?” I said barely above a whisper, unconsciously caressing his hand. Azriel leaned down and softly kissed my forehead. He’s always been sweet to me, but even in my almost dozed off state I could feel the difference. This was tender, loving and even a little melancholic, as his lips trembled and tears formed in his waterline. I wish he would open up, let me him. I want to understand him, but right now I can barely keep my eyes open. “Let me in to your heart, I would never hurt you.” I muttered before the warmest and brightest of feelings inside my chest lulled me into a deep sleep.

“You already own my heart, my mate.” Azriel whispered to himself. The realization sending chills down his spine. He longed to feel like this, but there were so many things keeping him from getting what he’s always dreamed of. So many thoughts restraining him, keeping him trapped in this dark and cold pit, in a loop of fear and anger, sadness and self-hate, pain. What does it take to get out of this place? How does he let go?

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x oc #azriel imagine #acotar x reader #acotar #azriel #acotar fanfiction #acotar imagine #feyre archeron #azriel x elain #aesthetic #stars he hung

[flowerflamestars]

What do you think of Rhysand’s mother? I have a few questions about her after reading this post (https://flowerflamestars.tumblr.com/post/641487845398364160/are-we-ever-gonna-talk-about-how-rhysand-can) about Rhysand’s childhood.

1. Do you think Rhysand’s was as soft and gentle as Rhysand portrays her? I never got that vibe because when he describes her, he said that she gave her ring to the Weaver for safekeeping and brought Rhysand to the camps for training? I think it would take a very cunning and intelligent person to bring their child to the camps for more than one type of training (physically and not just magically). I truly do not think that she was as helpless as Rhysand portrays her to be. What do you think?

2. Why do you think she brought Rhysand to the camps? There are a few reasons mentioned within the books, they are: she wanted him to know his culture, use his physical strength and not his magical strength, and that she saw his father as cruel and wanted Rhysand to be separate from him. The issue I have with this is that it actually does not make any sense.

Rhysand’s mother was raised in a family oriented society, Azriel said as much when he was teaching Feyre how to fly. So for her to “break up” their family and go against the values she was raised with by sending Rhysand to the camps, I think she did it because she hated his father. I do not truly think it had anything to do with Rhysand having control over his physical strength and not just his magical prowess. She was removed from her people very abruptly, forced to live in a land that she probably knew nothing about, and did not see her family until she came back to the Illyrian camps. It literally said she was brought to Velaris and became his bride the same night. It was probably very jarring for her and I think that is why she struggled to like his father. And on top of that, his father was known to be mean. I do not think she brought Rhysand to the camps because she wanted him to be physically strong, I think she thought him because training male children is all she knows, (it’s what she grew up with in the camps) and she wanted to get away from Rhysand’s father that she saw as evil.

I do not hate her but I think the way she is described in the series by Rhysand is a bit contradictory. I don’t think there was a lot of foreword planning as to why she brought him to the camp, she just did not like his father and made Rhysand train because it is all she saw the women around her doing while she was growing up.

3. Why specifically do you think Rhysand hates the Illyrians? I firmly believe that he hates them because of their way of life. He seems to enjoy the nicer things in life, he doesn’t live in the camps and likes having nice expensive things. I loved how in your post you highlighted how his first couple years of life was in absolute privilege and pleasure. He had no worries and then suddenly he was dumped in a freezing cold place where people barely have any belonging except for the stuff they need to survive. It was probably very jarring and confusing for him and he never got over it.

I am so happy that I came across someone who speculates about Rhysand mother. A figure we hardly talk about or was mentioned in the books.

Hi, thank you!

Caveat, obviously, this is all my own personal speculation, and I think Rhysand's mother (and his sister, for that matter) aren't really characters in canon, so much as they are plot beats. They're there initially to explain the Tamlin/Rhysand hostility (which Rhys just forgave? I guess?) and then if we're really stretching things as a sort of combo guilt complex/justification for being over-protective of Feyre.

The soft and gentle vibe...very much rubs me the wrong way. We don't have a good handle on when, exactly Rhysand's mother died- after the first war with Hybern, since we know Rhysands father was High Lord during that conflict- but not so long after that Rhysand wasn't young. And that shows. His mother is kind, beautiful phantom.

He can tell Feyre her actions- arguably ruthless and iconoclastic (more on that later)- but he then completely flattens her character into one note: his mother. his beautiful, good, tragic mother.

Which is not to say ruthless woman aren't good mothers- it's that Rhysand carries so much guilt about her death that he cannot, even as an adult, even five hundred years later, see her as a whole, complete person.

I think she probably was a good mother- but not in ways Rhysand bothers to reflect on.

Which brings me to the Illyrian camps.

I've never seen it addressed, but I cannot imagine Rhysand's mother returning to that place- she has a house! she stays there and takes care of Rhys and his friends!- was not a personal sacrifice.

There are two Illyrian women, in total, in all of the books, who can fly. Who are not ritually maimed. Who have, besides the freedom of the sky, the apparent freedom to go wherever they want: Rhysand's mother, and Rhysand's sister.

Their whole existence spits in the face of tradition.

She stays in a hostile environment so her son knowns he isn't alone. And maybe this is where his dislike of Illyrians started- they probably fucking despised his mother.

(I can't speculate about family because...it doesn't seem like there is any? I also don’t think a woman who tried starving herself and drugging herself to avoid the rituals her people practiced around puberty really cared about falling in with tradition)

But I do really think he takes all the wrong lessons from it. (as expanded on in the original post) I don't even think it's about superior training- the Illyrian Legions are a threat, ultimately because their entire existence has been reduced down to war- but the other faeries we meet? The other High Lords, even? Are all incredibly violent. Rhysand was always going to learn to fight, not to mention the fact that he can, as is apparently a family skill, melt people with his brain.

But I digress- I think the whole point isn't threat, necessarily, it's that Rhysand's mother is preparing for his adulthood. She's showing him where she came from, with the knowledge he, and he alone, can change it some day.

Ditto for the ring! If her son was going to grow to break traditions, then whoever his partner was, they were going to be in danger too. It's a pretty straightforward test of strength. There's a future Rhysand's mom wants to happen, and she's shoring it up in fascinatingly ruthless ways.

Which means it's time to talk about Daddy Rhysand.

In VERY SIMILAR my parents are not people they're how I traumatically felt about them when they died when I had the maturity of a teen and have NEVER INTERROGATED ANY EMOTION EVER- Rhysand's father is hilariously one-note.

We know he separated Rhysand from his friends during the war- which I know we're supposed to see as mean and unfair but...kind of makes sense? So much as anything does in an obviously flawed, shitty system but like, they belonged to different parts of a military defense???

Anyway.

We know Rhysand dismissed his government- no clues on what that structure was- and replaced them with his friends.

And we know, that despite whatever flaws Rhysand prescribes, he could have loved Rhysand's mother very much.

I have to disagree with the whole hiding in the camps/hiding the ring thing for the very simple reason that Rhysand's father could have stopped her, at literally any time. He lets her take his heir to this incredibly dangerous place, which shows, at minimum, trust in her judgement.

He doesn't do anything, as far as we know, when she gives away her wedding ring for Plotting Antics.

Rhysand remembers them as Wild & Kind vs Rigid & Mean- but like, isn't that exactly how an angry teen who doesn't have the skills/perspective/emotional maturity would see it?

Not to lean hard on the grievously sexist world-building, but High Lords hold absolute power in their Courts.

Rhysand's mother was, in contrast, not just lacking in power because she was a young woman, but was also a member of tightly controlled, horrifically abused minority.

Saving her initially from the wing-clipping can probably be written off- ugh ugh ugh on 'protective instincts'- but after that? He takes her home. He doesn't hide her or seem remotely ashamed of her, from what we know. She was Lady of Night. She lived in palace he built her, specifically designed to be flown to, where no one could winnow, for her safety and comfort.

He didn't stop her from teaching their children things from a culture faeries of his class wildly despise. Moreover, it sounds like she just did whatever the hell she wanted, traveling around, making deals with the Weaver, ect.

None of that means their relationship couldn't have problems or difficulties, but what we're shown is ultimately more complex. It could have been love! She could have been terribly lonely! He could have tried and failed to bridge the gap! We just don't know, but he never caged her or even, it seems, contained her.

I can't, for example, imagine Rhysand allowing Feyre to run away to Illyria with their kid.

Which- okay, I can't talk about Rhysand's mother without talking about the dress thing.

The ring thing? Ruthless. Crazy. An interesting snap-shot into what Rhysand's mother was like.

THE DRESS THING??? God. Wearing an inherited piece of jewelry, like say, an heirloom wedding ring guarded by a primordial horror, can be cool.

Wearing clothes your mother-in-law made, who happened to be a very talented seamstress? Yeah, works of art.

WEARING CLOTHES YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW MADE YOU, THAT YOUR SPOUSE PICKS OUT FOR YOU, PRE-CHOSEN FOR EVERY IMPORTANT OCCASION WHILE YOU'RE WEARING HER RING, INHERITING HER TITLE AND LIVING IN HER HOUSE? Fucking weird

This is, of course, not the most egregious or creepy boundary crossing thing that happens, by far, but thinking about it AT ALL makes me feel like my brain is liquifying.

Rhysand's daddy issues are so loud they envelope everything- and, dare I say, define his entire adult character almost as badly as Feyre's do- but the behind the scenes mommy issues?

Feyre with ILLYRIAN WINGS! AS A SEX THING! Feyre's insanely inadvisable pregnancy!

Rhysand has rolled all his guilt into one unhealthy thing and it's Feyre, his mom sister pet Mate, he'll do anything to protect.

He's like one book from hauling out her old dresses from storage and having a family portrait made of himself (a better version of his father, A DREAMER), Mama Feyre, and perfect little treasure better future perfect accessory NightNight staged the same way as the royal portraiture that used to be in his father's office or something. WE ARE RIGHT ON AN ALARMING LINE

In sum: I think Rhysand's mother is fascinating, and we're never going to know more. I don't find Rhysand's hatred of Illyrians justifiable- it's cultural, but it's also systemic and he is, literally, the head of the broken system causing most, if not all, of that cascade. He could have been a great hope for them, as a nation.

I can go either way on Rhysand's parents having a good or bad relationship- there's no definitive answer, but I do think her agency is present enough to...wonder about how he speaks about it.

#no one @ me about the mommy issues #yall it is there it is not subtle I have been side eyeing it for YEARS #the whole here's a dress for you thing #IS a classic #but it gets weird after a while okay? #and god. #will someone every tell me why all these women need to wear Illyrian-style leather pants to EXERCISE IN? #they're for flying! for warmth! #for oggling apparently #I digress I secretly love Rhysand's mom who was probably much cooler than he is #Love the idea that he grew up consciously trying not to be his dad and ended up...worse than his dad #I hope Mama Rhysand and the Weaver were buds #I hope she went to the Hewn City wearing head to to toe diamonds and telling racists to fuck off #I hope her hot scary husband didn't even know how to keep up with her #and settled for like: being the the boring dad who had an important job and lavishly took care of everyone #Rhysand on his dad: HE WAS A BASTARD #actually rhysands dad: an upper class weirdo by-product of the system who didn't know how to hug #Rhysand on his mom: SO KIND SO SOFT SO- #rhysand's mom: go freeze half to death and get the shit beat out of you baby it's life lesson time

[acourtofthought]

Nesta slammed into Lucien, grabbing Elain from his arms, and screamed at him as he fell back, “Get off her!”

Nesta, however, whirled on him. “She is no such thing,” she said, and shoved him again.

“If you bring that male anywhere near her, I’ll—”

I gripped Nesta’s arm to keep her still

Nesta bristled, teeth flashing. I gripped her harder, and threw a new wall of air around us—holding her there.

My eldest sister merely said to him, “Get out.”

“Well, find one and leave.”

“We’ll judge what she needs.”

Nesta snarled, “Don’t you even attempt—”

“What did you do.” The words were as sharp as a blade. Elain sidled toward Nesta, who seemed to be at a near-simmer

Rhys, Amren and Cassian are the three characters in the series who seem to have a good grasp of who Elain is underneath her reserved demeanor. Feyre and Nesta's judgement is clouded because of the years they spent protecting her but outsiders usually have a less biased opinion.

Rhys tells us that a part of Elain's personality seems to be fear of letting her sisters down so she doesn't make waves. She stays quiet, fades into the background, and avoids things that would upset others (another reason I think her "claiming" she belongs in the NC doesn't carry much weight). No, Feyre and Rhys weren't specifically talking about Lucien at that moment but if it's a personality trait that someone has, it usually applies to all areas of someone's life. Not to mention that conversation quickly turns to Feyre thinking about Elain and Lucien.

I think Elain has a million emotions going through her head when it comes to Lucien but is it any surprise that when Nesta was so very Anti Lucien for many books, Elain never let on what she might have been feeling for him? The majority of their interactions involved the sisters hovering, monitoring, limiting Lucien and Elain's interactions so even when they had a moment to themselves, it was probably awkward because they were so use to someone dictating how they were to behave.

Feyre wasn't quite as bad as Nesta however she too dictated when and where and how and often looked to Azriel and Cassian to help Elain rather than look to Elain's actual Mate. Cassian and Az helped Elain because they knew it's what Feyre would have wanted. Lucien wanted to help Elain because it's what he wanted instinctively. Feyre all but threw Az in Elains direction in ACOWAR.

There has been a shift though. In ACOFAS, Feyre started suggesting Elain consider getting to know Lucien and stopped thinking about Az and Elain together (though Nesta still hadn't come around). And by the end of SF, Nesta finally seemed to letting her guard down when it came to Lucien, even striking up a conversation with him at Solstice. In the Feysand Bonus Chapter, Feyre also had the thought that if Elain had been using the gloves Lucien gave her, she wouldn't have gotten her hands cut up. I always wonder why so little attention is paid to this line. The Az POV is always the focus but Feyre mentioning the gift Elain's Mate got her a year ago in her Bonus Chapter isn't nothing.

I'll always wonder what Elain and Lucien's current relationship would have looked like had the others not meddled in it so much but, the fact that as of SF we now have both Feyre and Nesta accepting of Lucien is a major hint for an Elucien endgame. I think we'll finally see Elain begin to face the complicated feelings she has for her Mate and now, the focus will be on her emotions and hers alone. Not worrying about how Feyre or Nesta feel about him frees her up to focus on only her thoughts on the matter.

(post created after an ask from @lloorryy 😊)

#pro elucien #elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #elain x lucien #lucien and elain #elain and lucien #lucien x elain #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #acosf bonus chapter #pro lucien vanserra