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cheriladycl01 · 3 months

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I cant do this anymore - George Russell x Wolff! Reader Part 5

Plot: You are the daughter of Toto Wolff team principle of Mercedes-AMG Petronas, you've worked your whole life to become an engineer. However, your dad has other ideas for you and doesn't want you to become a race engineer. You start to confide more in the Red Bull Racing Team Principle to help you get an engineering job, and see him as your present father figure.

Credit to russellius for the GIF

There was a pretty decent break between Brazil and Las Vegas, you spend the first week with Geri and Christian and their kids. You'd had a blast riding their horses, going for bike rides and lots of baking.

They of course let you stay with them in the spare bedroom, you went on a massive shopping spree with Geri getting some new clothes as you hadn't gone home and talked about everything you normally would with Suzie. You couldn't lie, you really missed her, especially the hugs she gave you.

However on the weekend before Vegas, Lewis had texted you seeing if you'd wanted to stay with him in Las Vegas for a bit. Lewis had known you since 2009, you were 9 years old. You always came to as many race weekends as you could, obsessed with F1 as much as your dad. You loved the fast cars and the smell of the fuel.

Here was were you were introduced to Suzie, it was perfect time really. You were a 9 year old girl, about to enter here teen years without a mother figure. And Suzie and you, got on like two peas in a pod.

In 2012 when he became the executive director in Williams you travelled with him. Your mum didn't want anything to do with you, so that left you to be home school. It wasn't easy in Williams, they were tight on money and resources despite Toto's financial contributions to the team and no-body had time for you it seemed.

The next year when your dad moved to Mercedes, that had a slightly bigger budget and more time around the paddock was when it became easier.

The engineers helped you with your math's and science while marketing and legal would help you with your English. That's where your love of engineering came from.

Lewis would often stay with you, he and Nico were like brothers and they couldn't help but see you like a little sister with the relentless teasing they put you through.

As you got older, Toto paid for you to have an online tutor so you could sit your GCSE's at some point. 2016 was probably the worst year you had on record apart from everything that's happened in 2023.

You could tell that when they started to compete for the championship in 2014 that things were getting tense between them, they tried to keep it to themselves but you could tell with the post race interviews and how they didn't want to hang out as much together with you.

But in 2016, when Nico won and their friendship had pretty much crumbled as far as it could you, you were also sitting those GCSE's and it was a really tough year for you. Lewis and Nico now spoke to you separately, their sides of the garage never crossing over like they used to.

So you not only had the stress of your GCSE's, the stress of your two role models no longer talking and with that your own childhood best friend cutting you off because of how much you travelled and your commitments not being strong enough. And to top it of Nico was confirmed to be leaving the sport which would mean you wouldn't see him as often.

However, despite everything that went on you came out with some really good grades, thanks to Lewis and his help when it come to studying.

You actually met George the year after when he became a junior driver for Mercedes. You had just turned 17 and he was 20 and part way working his way up through the feeder series into Formula One.

You actually had a crush on George all the way back then, Lewis convinced you it was just a silly little school girl crush you'd soon get over and motorsport men were a walking red flag. Which you found out was true with your first heartbreak when you dated an F2 driver that was the same age as you. You dad of course was hesitant at first, and he was right to be. He cheated on you with one of the insta models 7 months into your relationship.

Lewis did a lot for you and you guys were close, so you almost felt like you couldn't say no even though you didn't want to anyway.

You got the first flight you could out to his LA mansion.

"Hello" he greeted you as you'd found him in the airport with his security. There was of course Paps so it was only a short amount of time before people knew you were here with Lewis.

He drove the pair of you back to his LA home, you guys spent the rest of the week surfing, go-karting and walking Roscoe. Everyone knew you were here by now so you posted a photo dump on the Wednesday to Instagram, photos of everything you guys had been up to.

Everyone in the comments was so excited that big brother Lewis was back.

"So, I think now that we've had some time to chill out we should talk about the serious matters on the table" Lewis says as he spoons some of the vegan dish his private chef had made you guys.

"Mmmm?" you hum as you gobble more of the delightful food down.

"I miss you in the Mercedes Garage and the red bull top doesn't suit you" he says making your head whip to the side.

"Excuse me!" you nearly choke on your food.

"Look, I know what Toto and George did was foul... and others have made it into this whole dramatic show, but I miss teasing you in the garage and I miss you telling the engineers something was wrong and trying not to laugh! I miss you! Everyone does, George, Toto, Suz, all the hospitality and mechanics and the engineers!" he offers looking at you.

"I'm not coming back to Mercedes Lew, I've found my place in Red Bull, they've even let me help on the 2024 car! My dad turned me down straight away when i asked, they trust me there and they like my ideas! I'll talk to both of them okay, I promise but Red Bull stuck their neck out for me hiring me... so I owe them!" you admit, knowing Red Bull helped you a lot, as much as you'd helped them.

"I know I know, but just talk to them soon. They are both suffering and they regret what they did!"

You drove in Lewis car all the way to Nevada. It was only a 4 hour drive where you guys did make stops along the way. You guy's parted ways as you got there. He needed to be present for media duties and you had to be with Red Bull making sure the car was up to standard.

You checked in with everyone you hadn't seen for the two week gap, checking in with the mechanics making sure they though the car was looking okay after the race.

And before you knew it Max was coming out of FP1 in 4th, FP2 in 6th and FP3 in 4th. It was a new track and everyone was getting used to the it and how the car performed on it. In Practices it was more for the driver to get the feel for the car.

Max qualified P3, but because Carlos had to take a 10 place grid penalty he was moved up to P2. He was on the front line next to Charles Leclerc and if he got a good start he could finish again P1.

Vegas was a stressful race for everyone. Charles and his Ferrari was made for the layout of this street circuit it seemed. Lando had a really bad crash which had everyone worried.

Ferrari, once again fucked up their strategy as you called Max to box when the safety car was released. Charles had only pitted a few laps prior. Now Max and Sergio were on the fresher tires.

"Warm those tires up Max then when DRS is available go for that overtake on Turn 3 for P1" you advise as he rolls out of the pits behind the safety car that Charles was already following.

Eventually you had both Red Bulls in the front ready for a 1-2 podium. But on the final lap Charles went for the overtake on Sergio and broke the Red Bulls up, there was no way he'd catch up with Max but you told him to hold his position.

Again Max Verstappen had one his 18th race of the season and you'd been his race engineer for a whole new track. He'd pulled you into a massive hug, along with Christian who was impressed with how quickly you were adapting to the new role.

"Amazing driver guys! Straight to Abu Dhabi now!" Christian grins, nothing could now ruin his mood. Max had been confirmed Champion of the World a few races back but Red Bull still wanted to prove they were winners.

And that you did, you went to Abu Dhabi and one again by a landslide. You all celebrated the end of the season and Max asked you to come up on the podium with him again. However, George had come P3. so you were up on the Podium with him and Charles too.

The champagne was brought out and all the guys showered each other before coming over to you. They soaked you with the rest of the champagne the dark team gear sticking to your skin.

"Omg" you squeal as someone pulls back your top and dumps some of their champagne down your back. You swivel round to see George. Everything is so loud around you right now. Charles and Max are off celebrating the podium together a little further away from the pair of you now.

"George" you say looking up at him and he sheepishly takes a step back.

"George, no! I'm sorry I didn't speak to you sooner" you say looking at him, only for his head to cock to the side where he couldn't here you.

"What?" he shouts coming closer.

You lean in right up to his ear so that he can actually here you.

"I'm sorry I ignored you for so long. I was being childish. Lewis... Lewis talked some sense into me." you say.

"You-" he starts confused. He was the one that owed you an apology not the other way around.

"Y/N listen to me. Meet me tonight and we will talk about everything I promise!" he shouts making you able to hear him over the crowd.

"Okay!" you nod, before turning around and the Red Bull team all cheer as you hold up the trophy.

"Oh and George, Congrats of P3!" you grin, before joining Max and Charles.

Maybe it was time for you to talk it out. Maybe even to reach out to your dad! Lewis was as always right!

Taglist:

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#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 #formula one #formula one fanfiction #george russel imagine #george russel x reader #george russell x reader #george russell #george russell imagine #gr63 #gr63 x reader #gr63 imagine #lewis hamilton imagine #toto wolff #max verstappen imagine

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wlwcatalogue · 3 months

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Chinese GL Webseries & Shorts for the Wuxia-Uninclined

Have you ever wanted to venture into the world of Chinese GL webseries and short films, only to find yourself at a loss about where to begin, or intimidated by the unfamiliar tropes and terms of the wuxia genre?

Well, worry no more! Here's a selection of non-wuxia webseries and short films curated by yours truly. Now you too can enjoy the lavish costumes and location shoots of these Chinese productions, so rarely seen in F/F works outside of feature films and the occasional TV series~

By the way, these are all translated and subbed by the inimitable Douqi (@douqi7s), whose immense contribution to the English-language baihe fandom is surely in breach of anti-monopoly laws. Offer up your thanks at her Tumblr and Twitter!

At-a-glance list

Webseries:

Ye-Mu Season 2 (1 hr 20m total, 2023) - standalone

The Vampires (41m total, 2022)

Ye-Mu Season 1 (27m total, 2022) - standalone

The Lost World (1hr 5m total, 2023)

Short films - order corresponding to the pictures above:

A Tale of Yearning (5 mins, 2022)

"She Brought Colour Into My World" (2.5 mins, 2023)

"I'm Her Weapon" (3 mins, 2022)

Miss Shen and the Woman Warlord (6 mins, 2023)

Women's Script (5 mins, 2023)

The Caged Canary (5 mins, 2023)

The Beauty of the Law (6 mins, 2023)

Flowers Bloom; Flowers Wither (9 mins, 2022)

Commentary under the cut!

FYI, I've opted to link directly to the subtitled versions since they're probably more difficult to find than regular anime, TV series, movies etc. If a link is broken, please refer to Douqi's blog directly.

Important note for the uninitiated:

It’s a bit difficult to talk about canonicity in relation to live-action works made in the PRC, as things which would normally be used as evidence of canonicity all fall under the censorship regulations— explicit references to romantic relationships or queerness, declarations of love, kissing etc. are all off the table. So while these may not look canon in the most traditional sense, they are intended to be read as such and should certainly not be dismissed as queerbaiting or yuribait. Also, the creators can get very imaginative, so this is less of a problem than you may think – see the entries on Ye-Mu Season 2 and The Lost World in particular!

1. Ye-Mu Season 2 / 叶穆 2 (32 episodes / 1hr 20m total, 2023, dir. Zhang Zhiwei) - MyDramaList

(Note: Despite the name, Ye-Mu Season 2 is completely unrelated to the first season; the only thing the two share is the cast, crew, and focus on Penthouse-style melodrama.)

Determined to take revenge for her mother's death, Xu Baiqing (Sheng Wei) marries a wealthy and much older businessman in the hope of finding evidence to put him behind bars. But first she must assuage the suspicions of his cheerily hostile second daughter, moody youngest son, and estranged eldest daughter (Ye-Mu Zhixia, played by Wang Laoji), the latter of whom Xu Baiqing dated in university and who is currently seething at the sight of her former girlfriend marrying her father...

If you want to get a sense of the potential breadth of Chinese GL webseries, this is a pretty good place to start. It does a decent job of matching the tone and presentation of a melodrama you might catch on TV (and in fact looks higher-budget than some I can think of), while committing to something that can’t be done on TV yet— namely, featuring an F/F exes-to-stepmother storyline and delivering on the drama inherent in such a premise. Of particular note is how the framing and behaviour of Ye-Mu Zhixia is very much consistent with that of a male romantic lead; thanks to some clever writing, it’s basically impossible to deny the nature of her relationship with the main character. They don’t even lean on the plausible deniability afforded by the label of “friendship”— in fact, in an early scene she is incensed when the protagonist refers to her as “[her] only friend”. There are a few caveats – the main character ends up in a lot of scrapes that her ex-girlfriend has to save her from, the reveals are often rather unsurprising, and the story shifts more to a mystery focus around halfway – but it’s still worth checking out if a Korean-style melodrama with an F/F take on a romantic storyline sounds appealing.

(CW: violence, murder, attempted sexual assault)

Note: See The Lost World (below), from the same creative team, for an even more impressive example of Chinese GL pushing the limits of censorship.

Links: MEGA / Internet Archive (compilation)

2. The Vampires / 吸血鬼鬼盲盒 (7 episodes / 41m total, 2022, dir. Zhang Zhiwei) - MyDramaList

(Note: Spoilers for the first 15 minutes or so, because otherwise the summary would be “They end up locked inside with the monsters on board”, which wouldn’t tell you much more than the title already does)

Every night, Tianyue (Ye Miao/夜喵) has been having dreams about the mysterious cruise ship docked at the pier. Convinced that there is treasure hidden inside, she and her exorcist-cultivator girlfriend Xiao Ling (Wei Miao/微渺) sneak on board only to find that they are trapped there until the sun comes up. Things don’t seem too bad at first: although they run into two vampires – the cute, cheeky Xingming (Yang Fuyu) and her elegant mistress Su Tanya (Sheng Wei) – they are able to call a truce, on the condition that the humans help search the ship for the latter’s beloved (Fu Cha, played by Wang Laoji). But when Fu Cha wakes up without her memories, it is clear that something is terribly wrong, and that the ship and its inhabitants harbour more secrets than expected.

For a webseries, The Vampires takes a while to get started— it’s a bit difficult to tell what kind of story or indeed what kind of tone it’s going for just based on the somewhat campy and comedic first section. But after that wobbly beginning, it manages to pull itself together to tell a compelling – and sometimes genuinely tense – tale about a motley band of humans and vampires, and the truths they have to face together. While the ending is no happily-ever-after, I found it satisfying and hopeful, and surprisingly affecting. Also, a bunch of the characters have real polyam energy, and this is reflected in the narrative beyond mere flirting!

(CW: abusive parents)

Links - MEGA / Internet Archive (compilation) / YouTube (compilation)

3. Ye-Mu Season 1 / 叶穆 (12 episodes / 27m total, 2022, dir. Zhang Zhiwei) - MyDramaList

(Note: Ye-Mu Seasons 1 and 2 are standalone stories; each season is entirely self-contained and the second season is not a continuation of the first.)

The head of the Ye-Mu family has died, leaving the next generation to squabble over the inheritance. It's a web of secrets, lies, and hidden resentments, as the characters dig out old grievances and fresh accusations in a desperate attempt to one-up each other. They're tangled up together to an almost incestuous degree, and indeed, the F/F subtext here is the ambiguous relationship between eldest daughter Ye-Mu Nanzhu (Sheng Wei) and second daughter Ye-Mu Nanmo (Wang Laoji) (rest assured that they are at least not biologically related).

Those who prefer darker stories and don't mind the pseudo-incest or other content warnings will find a melodrama which makes good use of its short runtime to deliver on twists, turns, and an explosive - if tragic - conclusion. That being said, the story is about the family drama in general, so do note that while the relationship between Nanzhu and Nanmo is narratively important, it is not fleshed out in great detail and certainly not the focus of the series.

(CW: suicide, ableist trope (spoiler – disabled character turns out to have been faking it), ableist language)

Links - MEGA / Internet Archive (compilation)

4. The Lost World / 夏夜知道风的甜 (1hr 5m total, 2023, dir. Zhang Zhiwei) - MyDramaList

(Note: Spoilers for the purpose of flagging triggering content, as it’s particularly easy to trip into for this show. Also, some vague spoilers for later episodes in order to highlight in order to highlight the themes etc.)

This webseries feels like two shows smushed into one: apart from the very beginning, the first half is a gritty, bullying-focused take on university life, while the second is a true-blue romantic comedy (aside from one blip – see the note below for details). But even if you’re wary of the bullying, I would still recommend watching the back half – which is basically standalone – as it’s a very funny and heartfelt story about two childhood friends finally getting their act together. Without further ado, here’s two blurbs!

From episode 1 onwards: After saving a classmate from the class bully, popular college student Xia Huaichu (Yang Fuyu) is subjected to a lengthy harassment campaign by the latter. She is suddenly faced with having to protect her reputation in the face of false allegations and fake nudes– despite the fact that all she wants to do is focus on reconciling with another classmate, a high school best friend whom she had previously lost touch with (Mu Qingfeng, played by Wang Laoji). From episode 14 onwards: Childhood friends Xia Huaichu (Yang Fuyu) and Mu Qingfeng (Wang Laoji) are caught in a weird gay purgatory where each has feelings for the other, and suspects that the other has feelings for them too. But both are exceedingly stubborn and want the other one to take the initiative in confessing, leading to ridiculous displays of I-don’t-care-isms and lots and lots of UST. (Does anybody use that term anymore??)

As you may have guessed, I’m not too keen on the first part of this show, nor the decidedly unnecessary attempted rape segment, though that’s partly on me for not checking the content warnings beforehand. And yet I’m very glad to have stuck with it, because the second half is not only hilarious, but also a masterclass in censorship-dodging that needs to be seen to be believed. Not just in terms of the suggestive scenes, of which there are many, either— the story is literally about two women starting a relationship and having to reckon with parental disapproval, homophobia, and other obstacles which platonic friends wouldn’t have to deal with. I honestly don’t know how this ever got approved, and can only applaud. Bravo.

Note: For those who want to avoid the triggering content, I’d recommend starting at episode 14, but make sure to skip episodes 19 and 20 as there is a foiled rape attempt.

(CW for entire series: bullying (incl. violence, fake nudes), sexual harassment, attempted sexual assault, fatphobic language, homophobia

CW for episodes 14-24: attempted sexual assault in episodes 19-20, homophobia)

Links - MEGA / Dropbox

SHORT FILMS

Quick note: Click on the English titles for the subtitled versions, and the Chinese titles (which are really just the video titles) for the originals. And yes, although the majority of these are shampoo commercials, they really do hold up as short films in their own right. Give them a try, you might be surprised!

A Tale of Yearning / 一见误终生，不见终生误 (5 mins, 2022, dir. Liu Yun Rui/流云蕊) – A bittersweet story about a literature-minded young woman (Sheng Wei) and a Chinese opera performer (Ai Ye) who bond over their love of fiction, only to be torn apart by harsh reality. Tragic ending, but I liked the more literary turn of the dialogue. Shampoo ad. (CW: homophobia)

“She Brought Colour Into My World” / “她走后，我的世界又失去了颜色” (2.5 mins, 2023, dir. Zou Hui Qu Le/走回去了) – A very restrained short film (actually, more like a music video) set during the late Qing era, wherein a sheltered young woman (Xiao Yu Za/小宇咂) falls for her female neighbour, recently returned from studying abroad (Sheng Wei). Lovely use of music and visuals to create a dreamlike atmosphere. Tragic ending. Not a shampoo ad.

“I’m Her Weapon” / 我是你手里的一把刀 (3 mins, 2022, dir. Liu Yun Rui/流云蕊) – A moody, interior piece about an assassin (Ai Ye) who yearns for some sign of affection from her handler (Sheng Wei), only to be left devastated by her new assignment. Surprisingly not a shampoo ad.

Miss Shen and the Woman Warlord / 我们是孤独行走的钟，但也要做敲响希望的钟 (6 mins, 2023, dir. Liu Yun Rui/流云蕊) – I’d like to describe this as being inspired by the story of Mai Jia’s novel The Message and the aesthetics of Kawashima Yoshiko (1990), but most Tumblr users would probably find those references deeply unhelpful. Basically, a female spy (Sheng Wei) disguises herself as a male soldier and infiltrates the mansion of a Republican warlord. There, she meets the warlord’s daughter (Ai Ye), who quickly realises that there is more to the promising young officer than meets the eye. Shampoo ad.

Women’s Script / 纵使“科考”无女子，无碍红袖书香，星辰有光 (5 mins, 2023, dir. Liu Yun Rui/流云蕊) – While sailing down a river, a girl (Zhi Chun He/至春禾) catches sight of a woman writing poetry on the riverbank (Sheng Wei), and is fascinated by both her beauty and her flaunting of the rules against women’s literacy. Shampoo ad. (CW: domestic violence)

The Caged Canary / 如果这是一场骗局，那我也只愿意输给你 (5 mins, 2023, dir. Liu Yun Rui/流云蕊) – The protagonist (Ai Ye) is sent by her parents to beguile a wealthy young man into marriage, but ends up developing feelings for his modern-woman sister (Sheng Wei) instead. Shampoo ad. (CW: attempted sexual assault)

Flowers Bloom; Flowers Wither / 她们一个被铁链禁锢，一个被男装束缚，直到救赎彼此 (9 mins, 2022, dir. Qian Li Min/千里明) – Takes the romance between a cross-dressing noblewoman (Du Ruo/杜若) and her supposedly-mad stepmother (Rou Lian Cheng/肉脸橙) to tell a story about the restrictions placed on women in historical times, and how resistance, even when futile, can still have meaning. Tragic ending, obviously. Not a shampoo ad. (CW: domestic violence, misogyny, accidental misgendering, gender dysphoria)

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jaylver · 7 months

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SILVER SPRINGS — P.JS

synopsis: falling in love and starting a band with a man who you swore to be your soulmate was your first mistake. after your break up, you wrote a song about him, not knowing performing it with him would soon haunt him for a long time.

pairings: guitarist!jay x singer afab!reader

genre: lovers to exes, broken relationship, break up, band au

warning(s): angst, profanities

wc: 1480

a/n: yes this is another jay fic ... guilty. and it's also a fic based off a song ... guilty. dedicated to any fleetwood mac fans because this is based off their song 'silver springs' and also inspired by stevie nicks and lindsey buckingham's relationship, specifically that ONE performance. hope you enjoy this one! please leave a feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

Who said breaking up with your boyfriend who also happened to be part of your band was a great idea? Not you.

You blamed the fame. Something in you had a feeling that blowing up and gaining attention would eventually turn sour, but you didn’t think it would affect your relationship. It got to both you and him.

Jay, your first love and the man who you started the band with, called it quits right before a show.

He was a sweetheart, and he has always had decent manners, but to break up with you before performing was a low blow. Maybe it was an outburst that he could no longer hold in, or he just had an intrusive urge to do so, but whatever it was, it was so unprofessional and not cool.

Obviously, you turned up on stage almost ripping the guitar out of his hand and smashing it into pieces, but you didn't. Instead, your eyes were red and puffy, voice hoarse and stage presence at its all time low, just like you. The drummer of your band, Heeseung, was avoiding the tension actively, whilst Yunjin on the keyboard was casting concerned glaces. Then there was Jake, the other guitarist, glancing in worry between you and Jay.

It didn't take long before fans figured out something was wrong, and their theories were proven correct when the news got leaked out. Just great, wasn't it? Especially when you were at your peak of fame.

"Oh, don't say that she was pretty,"

It was pathetic. Arguing with Jay and breaking down crying one night when he came back to your shared apartment to get his things.

You didn't expect your sudden outburst during then. You admitted that it was you who picked an argument first, but how could you not when he brought up his recent date?

"Did she say that she loved you?" You mocked, noticing the things you've said had angered him equally.

"Fuck off, would you? We're done, alright?"

His words cut deep, unexpected and surprising. You scoffed, turning your head away from him. "I loved you years ago, but have you ever loved me?"

"Don't talk bullshit with me, Y/N. I've always loved you!"

"Then why would you talk to her while we were together?" You choked down a sob, remembering the rumours plastered over the tabloids, ones where he never denied. That was when you began not to love him, losing sparks and devotion.

Jay was silent, jaw clenching and the grip on his boxes tightened. He knew you struck bullseye and he couldn't deny it. He was aware that he's a prick, a scumbag that didn't deserve you, so he'd gladly take all the punches from you, but seeing you cry was making him weak.

“Can you tell me, was it worth it?"

The silence followed, tension filling the air around you. He shook his head, holding onto his boxes and turning around for the door. That was the end, wasn’t it?

“I know I could’ve loved you but you wouldn’t let me,” you said softly, falling onto a chair, needing to have a seat before your feelings overwhelmed you.

Without anything more from him, the door closed, leaving you to yourself in the home you once shared with the love of your life. Now, it was an empty shell reminding you of times you had together, continuously haunting you even as you took a pen and started writing down lyrics into your notebook.

Releasing the song you wrote about Jay was probably the best and worst decision you’ve pulled.

Despite the break up, the state of your band wasn’t affected, instead you two took the professional path and kept it together for the sake of achieving each other’s dreams. It was hard and definitely awkward at the start, but you grew accustomed to everything eventually.

What you didn’t expect was the song blowing up. The fans loved it, they ate it up, taking in every part of the dramatics of your break up. Of course, the label and your bandmates didn’t mind the fame that came along with it, but you could tell Jay was bothered.

It was the night of your first performance after your break up and the song’s success. You mustered the little courage left in you, hoping you wouldn’t crumble whilst singing the song you wrote about him, or literally any song in general. Thankfully, the set list was short, and all you needed to do was sing then leave. Easier said than done.

You heard the screams of fans, felt the flashing of lights, but all you could think of was Jay who stood to your left, setting his electric guitar up. It might've taken you a while to come to an idea of getting back at him, but it was definitely a great one. Singing the song you wrote about him while all he could do was listen, coming on stage and be reminded of you, those could be your best revenge.

The familiar sounds of the guitar began the song slowly, you sang naturally and didn't think much about it. That's when you felt his lingering gaze on you, the same eyes that stared back at you with love once were filled with unspeakable emotions.

As the song continued on, reaching almost the end, the tension between you and him only grew. You turned to face him now, holding tightly onto the microphone stand, pouring out your vulnerability with each word, never breaking eye contact once.

"I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you, give me just a chance!" you sang harder, seeing him strumming his guitar with equal strain.

"You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you," hands reaching out to him, you felt as if you were the only ones there. "Was I such a fool?"

You were professing your love for the last time, knowing he had already moved on, you were just a fool. Anger, pure rage were genuine and raw as it continuously flowed from you.

"You'll never get away, never get away, never get away!"

Every word from you came out like a spell, cursing him with every ounce of you. Your lyrics were placing an eternal curse on him, one that has him never getting away from you, your voice and your pain.

Jay stared back with the same ferocity, his eyes screaming loud, gaze never leaving you for even a second.

Until the last minute of your stage, you only learnt to breathe deeply and stop your stare on your past lover, legs weak and head spiralling. Oh God, you need a whole tub of ice cream once you get home.

Being left alone in your own room backstage after closing the set, you finally had the freedom to collect your emotions and thoughts, still shaking a little. It didn't take long before you heard a knock on the door, expecting Yunjin to come and check up on you, but it wasn't.

It was Jay.

"Hey," he breathed out, seeing your seemingly beaten down state.

"Hi," you couldn't believe he was here, not when you literally sang a song about him to his face earlier.

"I–uh–just wanted to come and tell you that … it was a great performance. You did well,"

"Oh," that totally caught you off guard. "Thank you,"

The awkwardness between you and him made you cringe. It wasn't an everyday occurence to be in a band with your ex and having to see him frequently, especially when he came to compliment you.

"I hate this, Y/N. I don't want you to hate me but I understand if you do. I'm sorry, for the things I've done and said. Just … don't be a stranger,"

"I won't," you said shakily, gulping in anxiety. "I've got too much love for you, it doesn't just dissipate after years. You're always going to be someone to me,"

Jay smiled, releasing a breath of relief. "I love you too, and I wish nothing but happiness for you,"

"For the both of us."

Months passed and the success of the band only grew bigger. You and Jay were on civil terms, but nothing was the same as it was.

Jay might've slowly gotten over you and the break up, but it seemed that you kept haunting him.

Walking down the streets, he saw your face on bilboards for campaigns you've shot for. Going into stores, he heard your voice playing from the speakers. Performing on stage, you were there, under the bright lights, shining and sparkling.

He would never get away from the sound of the woman that loved him. He would never escape you.

Time might've casted a spell on him, but he would never forget you and you would always, always haunt him.

☆ permanent taglist (open):

@silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld @ilovegyuvin @enhacatalog

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formulaorange · 7 months

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2023 Fall Anime

This is honestly a loaded season full of new shows based on relatively new manga. Lots to look forward to

Spy x Family - Season 2 One of the most fun SJ series that have come out in a while. Season 1 was killer, high hopes for season 2.

Goblin Slayer 2 I didn't realize they were even making a second season. This was such a killer series. I'm really hoping they don't fall into the many mid-tier fantasy tropes out there in anime right now. I thought the appeal of the show was really Goblin Slayer himself and less about the lackeys along the way. So we'll see how it goes.

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End This is definitely one of my highly anticipated series. It's about an elf who was part of the Hero's party and her life after he dies. (Since elves live longer) Definitely a darker take on fantasy but has some really solid fantasy and adventure vibes.

Rising of the Shield Hero - Season 3 Season 2 was pretty disappointing and slow. While this looks like it'll be more fast paced, it does look like a tournament arc of sorts. I know some aren't a fan of that kind of arc, but honestly I think it's exactly what this series needs to pick things up again. We'll see.

The Faraway Paladin - Season 2 This was legitimately one of my favourite fantasy series. I thought it was really well written and didn't rush things like other series. I'm looking forward to this season.

Sequels/Continuations: Eminence in Shadow - Season 2 killer series with an anti-hero main character. Definitely worth checking out. After-School Hanako-Kun Hanako-kun spin off Dr. Stone Season 3 - Part 2 One of the best novel concept series with nothing else in it's genre to compare to. Definitely didn't drop the ball on the recent seasons and still worth watching. Dead Mount Death Play - Part 2 One that I didn't particularly enjoy, but has a decent sized manga following. Tokyo Revengers - Tenjiku Arc The continuation of the series. Might be just me but it feels like the series fell off after the first season. The Saint's Magic Power is Omnipotent - Season 2 A more mature take on fantasy isekai that just started to get into romance at the end of last season. A solid combo of shoujo genres. The Ancient Magus' Bride - Season 2 Part 2 One that I haven't had a change to check out yet but have only heard good things about. Hypnosismic - Season 2 a weirdly addictive musical/rap series. Unique characters and honestly solid rap battles. One I'll be enjoying. -- Related - Paradox Live - Music battle with what looks to be the same style of animation and solid character design. Definitely worth looking at if you're a fan of Hypmic. The Seven Deadly Sins: Four Knights of the Apocalypse A sequel of SDS. Looks like it could be a fun watch for the fans of the series. New:

Shangri La Frontier A new manga fantasy series. This may be a horrible way to describe but it is what it is - a new age SAO- full dive fantasy game. A gamer who only plays shit games, gets into a new massively popular MMORPG and is op. One that I'm excited for because it ticks all the fantasy game boxes I like.

Undead Unluck A relatively new manga series that gained a lot of traction in the last year or two. A gory action comedy that's super chaotic and a lot of fun.

Shy Brand new hero manga series about a shy girl and her anxieties and struggles going into the hero world who grows and gains confidence as she becomes a better hero.

Ron Kamonohashi's Forbidden Deductions This is a manga series that I have kept forgetting the name of so never got a chance to read but all the covers for the manga look phenomenal. Likely the anime doesn't do him justice but it is what it is. Essentially sherlock in anime form. A PI with issues and the wholesome police detective work together to solve crime. Other New Series: Green - Fantasy Pink - Romance Red - Action Purple - Drama The Kingdoms of Ruins A world where witches were hunted down by humans as science surpassed magic. A kid who was raised by a witch swears revenge on mankind. This honestly looks solid. The animations are very cool looking and the mc seems to be an anti-hero. Will be looking at this one. Under Ninja A well known manga series about modern ninjas. Definitely a unique series for this season. The Apothecary Diaries A historical medical mystery show. I've heard the name before and I've also only heard good things. Will be worth a watch. A Girl & Her Guard Dog The granddaughter of a crime syndicate goes to highschool out of town and the current young boss lies his way into the same school. Would be cute romance if it weren't for the fact she's 15 and he's 26.. Butareba - The Story of a Man Turned into a Pig What the title says. A girl finds him and the story goes from there. I'm Giving the Disgraced Noble Lady I Rescued a Crash Course in Naughtiness The usual light novel title. Honestly, doesn't seem as yikes as I initially thought, might just be harmless breaking the rules kinda thing. Could be fun, also a Capybara that strikes fear into people's hearts. My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer Looks like a wholesome series where an adventurer finds a baby, raises it and she becomes so strong she's busy working all the time. Just a cute father daughter relationship in a fantasy setting about her wanting to come take time to see him but being caught up in OP fantasy battles. Ragna Crimson Dragons vs Humanity - a human and a dragon team up to destroy all the dragons. Action fantasy series. Berserk of Gluttony I honestly added this because I thought it was hilarious. Looks like a combo of knock offs - the Gluttony skill from Tensura (reincarnated as a slime) and the mc being called Fate with the main girl who looks exactly like Sabre. I'll be skipping but its' here so you know.

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animebw · 1 year

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I’m gonna be honest, I thought going into Winter 2023 that this was gonna be a bit of a dump season. One of those seasons where anime just kinda sits around farting and we all wait patiently for the actual Good Shit to start coming out again while pretending to catch up on our backlogs.

That... has not been the case.

Bofuri Season 2: Seriously, how does this show get so many incredible action cuts?

Buddy Daddies: Look, it’s probably not gonna be gay, but Spy x Family meets Tiger and Bunny is something we all need in our lives, okay?

Campfire Cooking in Another World: Couldn’t even last a full episode of this one before my eyes glazed over. Dropped.

Endo and Kobayashi Live: Now this is pretty charming! Pity the animation’s such garbage, though.

Giant Beasts of Ars: It’s a damn good season for fantasy anime, y’all.

Handyman Saitou in Another World: Could actually end up a halfway decent isekai SOL if it stops being so goddamn terrible at structure.

High Card: This is exactly my brand of Anime Bullshit(tm) and I am so on board.

Ippon Again: An actually great female-led sports anime? With major A Place Further Than the Universe vibes? Do not sleep on this one, y’all.

Kaina of the Great Snow Sea: Damn. Good. Season. For. Fantasy. Anime.

Kubo Won’t Let Me Be Invisible: As far as Takagi-san knock-offs go, this one is pleasant enough.

The Magical Revolution of the Oh Fuck It These LN Titles are Impossible to Remember Just Call it “MagiRevo”: Buckle up, folks, we might just have another Actually Good Isekai on our hands.

Malevolent Spirits Mononogatari: It’s Noragami but shit. Dropped at 1 episode.

Nagatoro-san Season 2: Yeah, turns out I’m still not above the occasional well made trash.

Nier Automata: Genuine question, is this gonna be an acceptable substitute for the game or will I just be spoiling the experience for myself?

Onimai: I fucking hate the Mushoku Tensei studio so much and I hate myself even more for deciding to stick with this one.

Reborn to Master the Blade: This one might be soon for the chopping block, but I’m holding out hope that its story can overcome its middling production values. We’ll have to wait and see.

Revenger: GEN UROBUCHI’S BACK BABY YEEEEEEHAW

Sugar Apple Fairy Tale: Take notes, Every Isekai: this is how you explore slavery in a fantasy setting.

The Tale of Outcasts: Feels like a 13-year-old’sedgy Ancient Magus Bride fanfiction. Honestly, though? I kind of really dig it.

Tomo-Chan is a Girl: LET. TOMBOYS. BE. TOMBOYS. WITHOUT. SHAMING. THEM. FOR. IT. Dropped at episode 2.

Tokyo Revengers Season 2: At this point, I’m just watching out of morbid curiosity of how bad the manga’s ending supposedly was.

Trails of Cold Steel: The Northern War: Easily the weakest fantasy anime of the lot. Giving it one more episode to impress me, otherwise it gets the drop.

Trigun Stampede: Y’all are buggin, the CG here is incredible.

Tsurune Season 2: Good god, the glow-up from season one is nuts. KyoAni just does not miss.

Vinland Saga Season 2: Okay, manga readers, let’s see if watching a bunch of sad men farm is as incredible as you say.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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AITA for not having a job despite having time for it?

🍏🥝🍏🥝 <- to keep track of this when it posts,

My family really loves talking about me(20) when they think I'm not listening. I've heard them on multiple occasions say that I need a job and that I should just start working part-time while I'm going to college. The issue with that is that while other people can do both pretty decently, I dont feel like I'm capable of doing both part time and college without one of them suffering a lot because of the other.

My family is pretty financially stable, and the fees I owe never go over 900 dollars and sometimes I even make my own money off of commissions to help pay for things. I actually did have an actual job during my classes for a while filing things and remote video editing work (for the same job) but one of my family members worked with me there as my boss and I decided to quit after they decided to ask if my mom would've rather died than had me after I told him she called trans people abominations (I am trans, I'm only out to that family member and my brother). I haven't found a consistent thing to do to earn money since but I've been trying really hard to advertise my commissions since then.

The part where I feel really guilty though is the fact that I've been going to a community college for almost 3 years now (with my family supporting me money wise) and know I'm only going to come out with a one year certificate because of how fucked my schedule got in my first year. I didn't meet some prerequisites , and despite the course I wanted being a 2 year degree it was worth almost 80 credits, which felt insane as I went into it. 5 classes a term, some 5 minutes after the other, all based on pouring hours and hours into artsy projects (video, audio, 3d modelling, painting, 2d animation, ect...). I broke down within my third term after I started failing some of my classes. I was still trying for my 2 year degree up until 2023 where I decided that getting a certificate that was similar and getting a job after would probably be better for me at this point rather than spending ANOTHER 2 years struggling OR straight up giving up and dropping out with nothing.

I'm also home a lot when I'm not in class (I'm only taking 2-3 classes a term now). I do little things sometimes like take out the trash and pull dishes from out the washer and so on but it's all only when no one is home because the place where things generally need to be cleaned up is all in our very small kitchen AND the fact that I'm scared of them poking fun at me for "finally doing something for once" because it makes me feel terrible when they do. I end up chilling out in my room completing work and desperately finding work arounds for projects to only ever really need done in my room or on campus- generally anywhere that's not going to worry my grandma too much.

I've told my family that their teasing doesn't make me feel good but it just gets responded with "that's just how we show love!" when I know it doesn't have to be that way! My boyfriend teases me pretty often but the difference is that he actually listens to me when I tell him something he said didn't feel very good to me and we talk it through, and then he doesn't make that joke again or i feel better after knowing the context of it!!! A lot of my family members will bicker until another one ends up crying and it's horrible to watch how petty and bitter everyone can be.

Don't really know what else to write, AITA guys? I know I could be doing a lot more around the house instead of working but I'm scared of being touched (my aunt randomly spanked me as hard as she could one time last year) and scared of more mean comments being thrown my way. I already have a plan to leave this home and have been open about it to them, but I don't want to rush it if I don't have to and want to spend a few years saving money up so that I'm not in a horrible situation if things go awry.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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sunnyeong · 1 year

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(req : "hi ! i absolutely love love love your works, you’re truly amazing <3 if you’re not uncomfortable with this, could i request something fluffy with jungwon celebrating new years with his older girlfriend ? thank you and happy belated new year ! i hope 2023 treats you well )

sparks | new year's special w/ jungwon !

note : ahhh !! anon you're so sweet :(( i hope you all get to enjoy 2023 as well ! i accidentally posted this while it wasn't done yet so i had to copy paste most of it huhu ★ pairings : non-idol!jungwon x f!reader (older)

★ genre : fluff

★ warnings : intended lowercase, use of 'noona', includes kissing

"i thought you'll spend new years at my place?"

"noona, i'm on my way.."

you see jungwon's text bubble pop up on your phone, letting out a sigh of relief and turning off your phone. since it was the first time you both would hold a holiday event in your apartment, you had to make sure that the whole place was free from mess the whole time, so you went around for the last time to check everything.

once you finally confirmed that everything looked at least decent enough, you went back to your room and freshened up a little more. since it was little around 10pm, you had to tweak a little of your makeup and hair so it could last at least a little after midnight. since you weren't the most unfamiliar with using your hair iron, you were able to finish quickly.

"noona?" you hear from outside your apartment followed by a doorbell, a small smile creeping up on your face as you open the door. "i brought- wah, you're so pretty," jungwon looks at you, flustered while handing you the small box of desserts. "thank you.." you laughed, letting him in your apartment fully while closing the door behind you both.

once you checked your phone and saw 10:30pm on the clock, you both already headed to the kitchen to eat. "i made pasta just in case we get hungry.." you mumble slightly, unsure if your boyfriend would still eat. "but everything you cook tastes good!" jungwon replies with a small frown, hugging you from behind.

"come up here!" you say, waiting for jungwon to follow you up. after you guys taunt each other and eat a little, you both went to the balcony since it was high enough to see the fireworks, sitting under the little tent you made that was enough to fit in both of you. "how many minutes left?" he asks, cuddling you already. "around.. 20 minutes?" you mutter softly, looking at your phone. "why?" you add, looking at jungwon while he plays with his fingers.

"will you still love me next year?" "won! i'll love you forever at this point, don't say that.." you hug your boyfriend, holding his hand reassuringly. "fine!" he frowns, looking out the tent.

after you both tease each other about everything-- from resolutions to habits, your alarm goes off in your phone. "11:59!" you shriek, going out of the tent and pulling jungwon beside you as you start counting from 30 seconds and lower.

"three, two, one! happy new y-!" you get cut off by a kiss from jungwon, the first on the lips, to be exact. it wasn't long, but you were still able to catch onto it quickly.

"happy new year, noona.." your boyfriend shyly whispers, burying his face in your shoulder while you watch the fireworks with a flustered face. you still couldn't really believe that he kissed you for the first time on new years-- let alone the fact that he wasn't the most affectionate when it comes to kisses.

for the rest of the night, you both stayed in your room with the curtains open, still looking out for other fireworks. "won, look, there's a heart.." you smile a bit, seeing a firework shoot up into a heart. "jungwon?" you whisper softly, feeling his head drop onto your shoulder. he was asleep. "happy new year.." you mutter, stroking his hair a little.

! yeong's works . please repost / reblog if you enjoyed !

do not copy or use my work without credit or asking.

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dana-chan-the-control-brain · 4 months

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Hello! I know you're one of the people who ship Moon and Solar (TSAMS) And y'all have gotten me into the ship as well! XD I'm not caught up on the lore of the show(s) So i haven't even seen Solar IN SHOW before (i am very behind to before Lunar was Sun and Moons brother :' D) But I have some ideas I'm debating writing for the ship buttt....I have no clue how Canon Solar acts??? Do you know if theres somewhere I could find a Summary on his personality? (and I suppose...new Moon?) I'll probably unintentionally make them OOC...never written for anything TSAMS related, but i'll try!

And is there a ship names thats...like used for them instead of Solar X Moon or is it just called that?

Anywho, I hope you have a good day/night!!! You make awesome stuff! (And I know theres been some people making drama over the ship, I hope you don't let them get to you too much tho!! <3 /P)

🦈Anon

AWESOME!

Heheheh. Thank you. I've been shipping these two since June 2023 so I'm glad I can share the brainrot and some people are more welcoming and cool then I expect. (mostly the ones who can't think critically are the youtube audience but that's expected. Since a lot of the youtube target audience are... like.. minors or really young adults who can't conceive the concept.)

I rewatch that Episode where Solar changes his name and rebuilds the Daycare in a week just for Moon constantly cause it's just... so much admiration and appreciation Moon has for Solar in that episode. I swear I don't know if it was a flub on the actor's part... but I swear Moon calls him 'sexy' as he's dragging him to charge. the stock sound effect of "OOOOH" doesn't help my APD and I've listened so many times and I have no possible idea what Moon could be saying to Solar other then 'come here you stupid, sexy-...." (trails off) sooo... idk. I might have misheard that severely but that's just what I'm hearing.

Like, in terms of New Lore of the show, it gets pretty complicated.

So complicated in fact, TSAMS themselves released a new video on the subject.... But it's NOT a very good guide, as it misses a lot of things. (and no I don't mean the stupid guest cameo stuff) this is more or less an abridged take on what happens with no emotional impact:

youtube

Like, this is a good starting point if you want the barest of bones, but it misses so much stuff. I think they don't even mention how Solar gets introduced into this family. lol. Just like "yeah Im here and I helped kill Eclipse" fheahehf. It's a super well made video though, and I don't mind the editing mistakes (clearly when the actors change the avatar on screen.... whoops. Happens a few times)

There is also the Fan Wiki, but as of now, it is incomplete, (@twinanimatronics is working tirelessly on updating the wiki and I wish they got more reconignition from the tsams community as a whole ) but it does give a decent look into Solar

There is also the huge TSAMS Lore Document, which Ceph(twinanimatronics) also worked on which contains a further detailed explanation of the story so far, for those who don't have time to watch 2 years worth of youtube content that aren't in a concrete playlist. (TSAMS. PLAYLIST YOUR STUFF PROPERLY. YOU HAVE TWO YEARS OF LORE HERE)

Liike.... yeah... this is okay but like..

This is VRchat. Aka the lore. Which also includes when they play videogames in VRchat, which don't impact the story... Like Uno, Amongus and SCP stuff.....

And it doesn't divide the arcs. Something that TSAMS severely needs more then any other SB Show channel.

Also, in the early days, the gameplay videos USED to be part of the lore. As the concept of Eclipse itself, being a rouge evil ai that lived in Sun's head (as it was presented initially but we know the truth it was the killcode moon planted in Sun when they separated.)

These days, they kinda dropped the gameplay videos being directly connected to the over arching plot. Other then just saying that their vids are pre-recorded or "we're back" after an annual halloween takeover.

Not to mention... When Earth and Lunar got a show, they became intertwined with the Sun and Moon show. LAES is very much it's own thing, but it's the ONLY Security Breach Show that consists of two Original Characters spawned from the Sun and Moon show. A rarity. So their lore continues off from the Sun and moon show, giving more info on Lunar these days and Earth (their sister)

Then you have the Monty and Foxy show (which is my least favorite of the shows... Personal Preference. I try not to complain cus I know some people like it. But I do not like the plot points in that show, or the character writing and weird directions they take while being connected to the same universe.)

And Monty is a character voiced by Davis, who also voices Sun. So Monty started out as a prominent character on the Sun and Moon Show, and then got his OWN show... at a point in TSAMS history after Eclipse got the star and killed Lunar.

So yeah. I wish the playlists were better organized here. So we knew when each era starts.

(people say Matpat should get on this show lore... And noooooooo no thanks. Keep him away. We got you covered. Ceph honestly has enough info to make a video guide at this point.)

But long story short, Solar is a "Good Eclipse" from another dimension that the Old Moon introduced to Lunar, when Lunar was struggling with his trauma of leaving Eclipse. Good Eclipse and Lunar become friends.

Anyway, here are some key episodes that outline NewMoon and Solar's relationship, as Solar had never met the Old Moon.

Old Moon had never met Solar. It was New Moon who introduced himself to Solar to help defeating Eclipse once and for all. (and by this point lunar had died)

youtube

He was actually surprised that this Moon was a chill Moon and could be reasoned with and talked to, considering he was living a rather oppressive life from his own Moon.

There's also a whole episode saga of just these two bantering and talking while they work on the satellite together. I can't remember which specific episodes those are.

You can also see the difference between the Evil Eclipse and Good Eclipse here in one of my all time favorite episodes:

youtube

Moon saving Solar's life: (also the death of the bad Eclipse)

youtube

Everything is good and happy after Eclipse dies for awhile. (aside of Ruin and Bloodmoon wrecking shit) He goes back to his own dimension... and you get to see what his sad life is like:

youtube

From his Moon calling him "byproduct" and failure very often.

But... Something happens and Solar is forced to come to Moon's dimension

here's Solar at his poor little meow meow "I have nowhere to go" stage and just... thought to go to Moon immediately due to their history.

youtube

Moon's only question about Solar moving in, is that if he wanted him to blacklist his dimension once he heard what was going on with his Moon.

And immediately, Solar jumps in to help Moon with his problems.

Also during the halloween takeover part 2 electric boogaloo, Solar was the one to help get Sun and Moon back after being teleported to a different dimension with no hopes of returning

youtube

Also, after Ruin was cured and Bloodmon ran off, Solar rebuilt the ruined Daycare in a week. And Moon is so grateful for it. (i rewatch this episode a lot. It cemented the ship in my mind and built the commodity that they've been building up for months)

youtube

We also get what Solar's daily life is like so far... How out of place he feels, being someone from a different dimension, despite the Brothers (and sister's) insistence, he still doesn't really feel like he's part of the family. He feels like an outsider. (He also has less opportunities to hang out with Lunar. As he expressed interest in playing games with him like the good old days, and as of recently, they have not yet)

also a good example of the Celestial family changing minds on family dynamics because they are robots. Lunar flat out rejected Vegeta-Animatronic is his brother even if he technically is. Like, they're robots. They can change their relationships to each other based on their word. I like to see it more flexible then it is in reality with actual people/humans.

Moon also trying to make Solar feel comfortable and feel like he's adjusting well here. Expressing his concern for him doing so much for him and his family. And hoping to not pressure him into so much work.

youtube

As of recently, his Sun died, and he killed his Moon. And in his therapy session (on the Lunar and Earth Show) he expressed regret over "Leaving" them...

But he has not properly told anyone about this.

My reasoning is that he probably thinks that the family will jump on the chance to call him "Evil" .....They don't have good luck with Eclipses.... and every Eclipse they met other than him has been Evil. (that must weigh on you. Every version of yourself is deemed as evil across every dimension. You are the only good one. Maybe there is something wrong with you)

I'm already at the video limit, but on Lunar and Earth show, there is an interesting episode where Lunar goes into Solar's head, and his mindscape looks like the Willy Wonka TV room, because it was a movie he watched with his Sun before they separated and Sun died. Showing that he did care about his Sun a whole lot... Which is probably why he doesn't interact with our Sun that much alone.

He also compartmentalizes everything before he can feel emotions, playing his own memories in third person as if he's not experiencing them.

Not to mention, he organizes and separates his thoughts on NewMoon and HIS Moon, just so he won't associate the two.

I also missed what episode it was, but Solar is always the first to call Moon out when he's being angry, or irrational, and Sun admits in his therapy session, that Solar is the only person who can calm Moon down. (mainly cus he's used to it, but unlike his old moon, this moon listens)

Anyway...

I love Solar a lot, can you tell?

#danachan's replies #danachan's asks #solarmoon #solar x moon #Solar analysis

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realisticfanfictions · 4 months

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𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥𝕤 𝕒𝕤 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕦𝕓𝕖𝕣𝕤/𝕀𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕦𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕣𝕤

There's not a lot of strawhats-in-the-real-world AUs, so I'm here to fill that void! This has been on my mind for a hot minute now, so let's talk about the characters in One Piece if they were youtubers!

Click to reveal!

Luffy - Travel Vlogger

Channel: IAMLUFFY

Subscriber Count: 7 Million.

Luffy would 100% be the unintentionally annoying vlogger who just streams and records everything. He's more likely to shove a camera in your face by accident, but he's also the guy who makes really engaging content and does more unique things than your average vlogger. He'd actually be a pretty big name in the vlogging sphere I'd imagine, and while vlogging channels tend to have lower subcounts, I think that 7m would be a good number for him to have. Luffy would also be down to record with other people (regardless of their sub count), and wouldn't mind traveling halfway across the world to do a one-off collab (especially if you agree to feed him).

His content: His content would revolve around travel, food, everyday living, and funny anecdotes. The editing would be very fast-paced with lots of graphics, and sound effects. He'd need to have an editor, and that poor editor would just be swamped with hours upon hours of random footage of him eating, or picking his nose. Lots of B-roll potential!

Videos:

BIGGEST SLIDE in the WORLD! | Brazil Adventures!

Monkeys STOLE my $2000 CAMERA! (ft. Nami) | Bali Adventures!

I almost DIED!! | Climbing Mount Everest Day #3!

Zoro - Fitness Guru/Vlogger.

Channel: Roronoa Zoro

Subscriber Count: 3 Million.

It's a no-brainer that Zoro would be a fitness influencer. He would never have thought of becoming an influencer, but Luffy probably recorded him working out in some of his early vlogs, and convinced him to start his own channel. He wouldn't be as into vlogging as Luffy, and definitely wouldn't put much of his personal life out there, but he'd still show what he did and make it somewhat entertaining. Zoro would have fangirls up the wazoo! Especially since he trains without his shirt on, and always shows himself working out. I don't think he'd do collabs on his channel, but he'd always accept being in one of Luffy's vlogs, or even guest starring on Sanji's show (more on that later--).

Content: I think his content would be focused on posting his daily schedule, what he ate, how he worked out, etc. as well as a weekly weigh-in. He'd occasionally post his kendo tournaments and would encourage people to try it out, and make tutorials on all things kendo. I have a feeling he'd probably have the most sponsorship offers, but he'd turn down the vast majority of them (since a lot of them are scams). I don't think he'd have an editor since he seems like the kind of guy to just slap it together with some music behind it and post it to YT or Insta. I can even imagine him getting quite decent at editing and filming, and using Brook's music (with permission ofc). I think he'd also talk about stuff about the gym, what he likes vs. doesn't like, and sometimes talk while he works out.

Videos:

Don't do this at the gym.

I hate gym memberships.

Kendo Tournament 2023.

Sanji - Cooking Show

Channel: Devil's Kitchen with Sanji

Subscriber Count: 3 Million.

I don't think I need to explain why Sanji would have a cooking show, but I imagine it more like Binging with Babish with fun challenges, instead of straight up Kitchen Nightmares/reality TV. He'd have the highest production value out of the strawhats with a cameraman and 2-3 editors, and he'd probably be the only one to actually get a show on cable (separate from his YT). Sanji would be more likely to bring guests onto his show, and I can see Zoro being a frequent guest. Would not be surprised if they start a podcast tbh. Wouldn't be surprised if they also lived together

Content:

His content would be a lot less 'indie' feeling and more high quality. Lots of cool camera angles and editing. His stuff would end up on Food P*rn I'd imagine. Like, all the time. Sanji would probably be asked to collab with other people, and he'd take a lot more sponsorships too. Soy Sauce wants to sponsor him? Hell yeah, he'd do it! Bang Energy Drink? Well, no. He still has standards. I can imagine him doing a lot of 'How-to' videos and diet-focused videos, like "How to Cook for Vegans", or "Best Gluten-Free Recipes". He'd probably be in and out of relationships quite a lot too, maybe some controversies? (Lemme know if ya'll want some headcannons for that.)

Videos:

Chocolate Kisses for Valentine | Cooking with Sanji.

Professional Chef vs Home Cook (ft. My Dumb Roommate.)

Tricking Meat-Eaters with Vegan Alternatives (Beyond Meat.)

^^ That one is 100% sponsored btw.

And that's the end of that! Lemme know if you guys want to see more, or have any suggestions!

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brucebocchi · 4 months

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Ranking every new anime I watched in 2023, Pt. 2: #20-11

hey, i just started a ko-fi for my writing and possible other creative outlets. this post will also be available there, so please check it out and consider tipping/donating as i'm currently between jobs. the tumblr version of part 1 can be found here.

Let's get right into it.

20. Helck

I watched Helck’s first season for its entire half-year run, and I'm honestly still not sure how I feel about it. I’d heard amazing things from people who’d read the manga, and it had a hot start, but the pacing slowed to such a crawl after a while that it kind of felt like they stretched out the story just so they could make another season.

Helck, an enormous and impossibly jolly human warrior, enters a tournament to decide the successor to the throne of the recently-slain Demon King. Demons and humans had been at war for some time, so Vermilio, an adorably fiery elite lord of the castle, is naturally wary of him. Helck is naturally powerful, talented, and affable, so he easily breezes his way through the tournament in hilarious fashion, despite Vermilio’s best efforts at sabotage. Before the finals can take place, though, an immortal army sent by the human forces arrive to attack the demon realm, and Helck and Vermilio are teleported to the far edge of the realm.

The season largely covers Helck and Vermilio’s trek back to the demon kingdom, as well as the demons’ struggles against the mysterious warriors as they attempt to figure out just what the hell the humans are plotting. Vermilio remains leery of Helck, regardless of all he’s done for her, but it becomes further evident that Helck is harboring a very dark past, and eventually we get a lengthy arc where he sits down and explains it to Vermilio in flashback. There is, as you’d expect, plenty of tragedy there, and you’d like to see it resolved, but things just seem to keep getting worse.

There are powerful messages in there about toxic positivity and fighting the urge to shoulder one’s burdens alone, but they don’t become fully apparent until late in the season. Everything until then, at least after the teleportation, is… fine. I had higher hopes for this one, but it just feels like it’s missing something, and I can’t put my finger on what. It looks fine, the voice acting is good (the GOAT Katsuyuki Konishi is typically very good as Helck), the action is decent, it’s all… fine. The pacing just feels glacial at times, to the point where if I hadn’t been watching it weekly I might have bounced off of it.

Of course, the season ended with what appears to be the endgame on the horizon, so for all I know there’s still a lot more to come, but the story beats feel so familiar that I get the feeling it could be resolved with, like, a movie. I hope I’m wrong, because there are clearly some major emotional payoffs yet to come, and I’m still curious to see how it gets there. I may have to pick up the manga to find out if it’ll be worth any more of my time.

19. Urusei Yatsura (2022), second cour

Fresh off of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure’s possible series finale, David Production’s modern take on Rumiko Takahashi’s legendary comedy manga hummed along nicely into 2023. The cast continues to expand as the new version introduces characters like Ten, Ryunosuke, and Tobimaro to further raise the level of shenanigans inherent to Urusei Yatsura.

Lum Invader has been a sex symbol for pretty much as long as anime has had sex symbols, but the reboot’s second cour focuses a bit more on the side of her personality that makes her so iconic, and which I consider essential to several of my favorite female anime characters: Lum’s kind of a psychotic asshole. Her schemes to wring more attention and affection out of Ataru border on sociopathic at times, and she’s honestly so real for that. Her mortal frenemy, Ran, was introduced close to the end of the first cour, and there is still no shortage of sabotage attempts in the second, but we quickly come to learn that Ran’s undying vendetta is mostly because Lum has been a selfish, lying piece of shit since they were kids. God bless her.

Ataru continues to not be much better, serial philanderer that he is, as he continues to be surrounded by other hot crazy ladies who aren’t his not-fiancee. Mendo’s younger sister, Ryoko, is a real highlight in the 2023 run as a result of her escalating penchant for Looney Tunes-esque slapstick violence. The settings of Ataru’s and Lum’s respective worlds take more focus as well, between Ataru’s high school hijinks and Ten’s galactic mail-order mishaps, and the two often collide in hilarious fashion.

I still adore the look of this one. Character models have been cleaned up and simplified to a sort of retro-modern look while still being instantly recognizable to anyone already familiar with them. Everything is awash in an eye-popping Day-Glo color palette. Backgrounds and pop-in gags are often adorned with Ben Day dots to maintain the retro comic look. This doesn’t quite look like the manga, nor does it resemble the original 80s anime, but this is unmistakably a Rumiko Takahashi product. It almost looks like it could have come out at any point in time.

I’m only holding this back in the rankings because it’s the weaker half of a season that straddled the end of 2022 and the start of 2023, but the season as a whole is excellent. It is an essential watch for fans of comedy anime, especially considering so many tried-and-true anime gags effectively originated with Urusei Yatsura (it’s worth mentioning that Lum is largely considered the first-ever tsundere in anime and manga). Season 2 is imminent and I cannot fucking wait. Maybe I’ll even read the manga.

18. Tomo-chan is a Girl!

This is basically Monthly Girls’ No-jock-i-kun. Very simple premise: Tomboyish high schooler gets the hots for her childhood friend who is dense as fuck and forgets most of the time that she’s even a girl. Hilarity ensues and romance progresses glacially.

The voice performances are what really carry this one. Rie Takahashi is golden as the titular Tomo Aizawa, and this was the first entry in an MVP-caliber resume for her in 2023 that was so stacked that I still haven’t gotten to her best role yet. Rina Hidaka nails the conniving, misanthropic nature of Misuzu Gundo in a far cry from her turn as Emul the bunny in Shangri-La Frontier later in the year. The American-born idol Sally Amaki is a revelation as the airheaded gaijin Carol Olston, whom she also voices in the English dub. Even Carol’s mom speaks broken Japanese with a noticeable American accent, which is one of my favorite gags in the whole show.

Outside of the voice acting, nothing is particularly special about this show. Which is fine! There's nothing wrong with a solid 7/10 romcom; junk food is still food. It’s cute, it’s funny, it hits all the right beats, but nothing particularly stands out. Misuzu and eventually Carol give Tomo advice to try to woo her bestie Jun, while Misuzu is usually also playing Jun against that same advice so that it usually works and backfires at the same time. It’s all a game, and she plays both sides so she can always come out on top.

If I have a complaint about this show, it’s that it just… ends. I went back and read the manga, and unfortunately that issue is not the anime’s fault. If anything, it did a phenomenal job of fitting eight volumes of a 4-koma into a single season, and that’s always how it was supposed to go. I watched and read a ton of slice-of-life romance anime and manga this year, as it turns out, and the ones that really hit for me are usually the ones that take their time with the central relationship once it actually starts, rather than treat that big event as the climax, or worse, the finale of the story. Stuff like Kaguya-sama, Horimiya, Sweat and Soap, and even Wotakoi (though I have my own problems with that one) treat their central relationships as a step, not the goal. At the same time, for plenty of others, the fun is in the chase, and they just run out of time, and Tomo-chan is the latter. We got what we wanted, and we had fun getting there. Sometimes that’s all you need.

Also good god, Tomo’s mom. The second those genes kicked in for Tomo, Jun was doomed.

17. The Eminence in Shadow, second cour and season 2

The Eminence in Shadow is the smartest piece of stupid media I've seen in a minute. It so perfectly skewers dime-a-dozen chuunibyo isekai trash while still cannonballing into a McDuckian swimming pool of the stuff. It nearly overwhelms you with lore; the series abounds with rich backstories, centuries-old power struggles, palace intrigue, shadowy conspiracies, the artificially accelerated march of progress, long-simmering revenge plots, looming economic catastrophe, and love dodecahedrons. And the most compelling thing about all of it is that none of it fucking matters.

Cid Kagenou spent his teenage years in modern Japan trying to become the coolest badass dark antihero who ever lived, but he quickly reaches his limits in our boring normal world so he rides the isekai truck into a world with actual, like, magic and shit. He spends his new childhood leveling up and rescuing elf girls, all the while regaling them with his “wisdom” in the form of a bunch of horseshit he made up based on all the light novels he used to read. Turns out that he’s entirely too genre savvy; this new world is apparently so contrived that every single thing he told them ended up entirely true.

So now Cid’s a teenager by day and shadowy vigilante by night (under the apt moniker “Shadow”), with an underground legion of hot deadly babes at his disinterested beck and call. All he genuinely cares about is looking and acting like the coolest motherfucker a socially inept 12 year old boy can think of, and in his downtime actively trying to be a forgettable mob character. And I do mean that that is all he cares about; when I say none of the wheels within wheels happening in the background actually matter, I mean that Cid is completely and totally unaware of any of it.

Anything he does or says to drive the plot is either incidental or accidental. He spouts off some nonsense he heard in a video game once, and his cadre of elf baddies and beastgirls takes it as gospel en route to exposing a millennium-old conspiracy. He parrots a really cool line he heard ten minutes ago and a beautiful woman he just saved takes it as inspiration to turn her life around. It’s kind of like in Mashle, funnily enough; where Mash will go “I don’t know what’s going on, but you were being mean to my friend so I’m gonna beat the shit out of you,” Cid is more like “No clue what this is about, but that’s a really badass looking villain, so I’m gonna say some epic shit and do a big explosion.” And then he fucks off to go eat a burger or something, not knowing or caring that he just unraveled a prophesied master plot to destroy the global power balance.

The episodes that aired in 2023 largely revolve around the lovely Princess Rose, smitten with both Cid and Shadow (not knowing they’re the same guy), pledging fealty to Shadow Garden after failing to foil a coup d’etat. At the same time as her training, Cid is busy with a vampire something-or-other and then tries to make some coin for himself by teaming up with an assassin hellbent on revenge to create a credit crisis. The conspiracy later drags Rose back into the palace, where Cid sees a new opportunity. Every single one of these things has very specific reasons for happening, and everyone involved has a rich backstory and clear motivations to carry out their parts of the ever-evolving plots.

But that’s not why you’re here. You’re here to watch a bunch of hot ladies and a guy in a black cloak with one glowing red eye do some sick action stunts to bad guys with silly names, and this show delivers that in spades. This feels like a throwback in the best and worst ways. The Eminence in Shadow is stupid, and it is brilliant.

16. Mushoku Tensei: Jobless Reincarnation, season 2

Mushoku Tensei is a tough anime to talk about. On one hand, it is one of the most gorgeous anime series ever put on television: Almost consistently movie-quality sakuga, lush background art, and a breathtaking score come together to form an immersive world unlike many I’ve seen in any medium. On the other, it forces some very unpleasant conversations about reincarnation in anime, particularly ones like this where a grown man is reincarnated as a child while retaining his mental age and is surrounded by potential love interests closer in age to his new body. What doesn’t help is that in his previous life in our world, the man who would reincarnate as Rudeus Greyrat was a socially isolated hentai addict, and much of his journey centers around him unlearning those proclivities in unfortunate and often damaging ways. If you can handle that, Mushoku Tensei is a rewarding watch, but if that’s beyond the pale to you, I don't blame you in the slightest.

However, even if you’ve been able to stomach all of the questionable shit in the first season, I'm sorry to say that the second season’s first cour doesn’t do much for the “bro I promise he gets better bro” crowd. The first cour covers the Quagmire and Academy arcs, which follow Rudeus’ struggle with being effectively abandoned by the only person to show him any physical affection in either life. The knock-on effect sees him retreating into an antisocial shell and developing, and I am deadly serious here, a seemingly incurable case of erectile dysfunction.

The first few episodes surround Rudeus growing into a young man, making a name for himself as a wandering adventurer in hopes that talk of his name will spread to his missing family and friends. At the urging of the god with a direct line to him (still unexplained), he enrolls in a magic university to investigate the calamity that flung his loved ones to the corners of the realm. There he finds an old friend in the figure-obsessed young prince who saved his life in the previous season, a girl from his previous world who seems to have also been transported to this one, and most crucially, his old childhood friend Sylphiette, hiding in plain sight with new hair and a sick pair of shades as a retainer to a scheming princess enrolled in the school.

Mushoku Tensei's initial season was at its best in its quieter moments, and those abound in season 2’s first cour. It's really lovely seeing him connect once again with Sylphie purely for who she is, even though for all Rudy knows he’s talking to a twinky dude named Fitz who makes him feel weird things. We get our amazing action animation early on, and things settle down quite a bit from there as Rudeus navigates all of these interpersonal relationships, old and (seemingly) new.

And while, yes, this version of Rudeus is a far cry from the drooling, grinning pervert he was in his first ten years of reincarnation, his improvement as a human being is not a straight line. He unfortunately takes more steps backwards than forward. The things he says in a drunken rage about his party member Sara (who inadvertently revealed his ED) are awful and undeserved, he literally ties up and gropes a pair of beast girls from his class (he has apparent reasons for both of those things, but come on), and he “frees” a young dwarven slave to take on as an apprentice. That last one seems admirable on its face, but uh. He went with the flow in a god damned slave market and still paid a slaver.

I'm not excusing those things, nor absolving Rudeus as a character; I'm simply saying they happen this season. Mushoku Tensei, for better or for worse, depicts gnarly subject matter as it is while neither glorifying it nor moralizing about it. It trusts you to make your own judgments, and if your verdict is “I can’t watch this show,” that is perfectly valid. If you can stomach watching through its worst moments and compartmentalize the uncomfortable aspects of it, Mushoku Tensei remains one of the best-looking and -sounding pieces of animation out there, and the part of its second season that aired in 2023 has an exceptional emotional payoff. Otherwise, I'll be talking about Frieren much later.

15. Spy x Family, season 2

The most succinct praise I can give season 2 is also the most backhanded: Well, it’s more Spy x Family.

I want to be clear that there is no shade inherent to that comment; the first season of Spy x Family was excellent! It was a stylish, beautifully animated, appropriately hilarious adaptation of a fantastic manga that did it justice in almost every regard; the second season didn’t need to move heaven and earth to try to one-up it. It wasn’t broken, so Wit and CloverWorks didn’t fix it. It’s still the blend of domestic slice-of-life hijinks, tense cold-war intrigue, and heart-pounding action it’s always been. Even the production music is largely the same, and that’s not a complaint, because SxF’s production music fuckin' slaps.

A lot of anime-onlys rightfully complained that Yor’s plot relevance seemed to fall off a cliff in the back half of season 1, so they have been eating GOOD this time out, as season 2’s (ostensible) first cour puts her directly in the spotlight. The Yor Cour, if you will. The season opened on a hilariously spot-on adaptation of my favorite Yor-centric chapter of the manga (the “bullet in the ass” one) and quickly moved on to a nearly perfect interpretation of the cruise arc that sees her protecting a government asset from a legion of assassins.

If you wanted to see more of Yor in her second life as the contract killer, Thorn Princess, this season was a meal and a half for you. Having her beset on all sides by an eccentric rogues’ gallery, with Anya fully aware and trying her damnedest to keep Loid from finding out what’s actually going on, is Spy x Family at its best. The tension constantly ramps up as the ship approaches its target, and Anya’s attempts at distracting Loid usually go sideways because, well, she’s Anya. Blood splatters, laughs are had, and Loid continues to struggle with both fatherhood and acting like his growing affection for his ragtag “fake” family is just “for the mission.”

Outside of the cruise, season 2 maintains the series’ usual episodic pace, which can be a little jarring before and after the cruise arc, but that’s SxF for you. Shit can pop off at unexpected moments, and having read ahead in the manga, I’m excited to see the next time that happens. For now, though, things can feel kinda static from time to time, but the Forger family and the extended cast are always pleasant to just hang out with for a while.

And now to wait for the movie to come out in the west.

14. Undead Unluck

Up until this past Winter season, I primed myself on a lot of the more-hyped anime by reading the manga ahead of time. I knew that Undead Unluck is one of the bigger Shonen Jump manga out there, but this debut kind of crept up on me. I went in blind, got drawn in by the premise, and then got quickly overwhelmed with a wild amount of lore.

Fuuko, a young woman seemingly afflicted with a curse, is saddled with a brash, enormous man who cannot die after he foils her suicide attempt and is then himself grievously injured. Don’t worry, he got better. It turns out that he’s roughly 200 years old and has a completely cracked healing factor, while she brings terrible misfortune to anyone who touches her skin. They are both Negators, people with the ability to reverse or ignore the laws of nature: Fuuko’s ability is Unluck, causing tragedy for those close to her, while the man is Undead, exactly what it says on the tin. The man, who cannot remember his own name, believes their meeting to be kismet: If she can bring death to her loved ones, he vows to woo her so she can deliver the death he’s sought for so long. I promise this is a comedy.

Fuuko and Andy (whom she named as shorthand for the Japanese pronunciation of “undead”) foil a series of assassination attempts by other Negators, and take their spots as part of the Union eliminating threats to the universe. They team with an eclectic group, whom we’re still getting to know as of the end of the first cour, as they trot the globe to complete quests given to them by a mysterious (and seemingly nefarious) talking book lest the universe incur penalties for their failure.

The power system among Negators is one of the most inventive I've seen, with each one able to cancel out a specific element of the natural order of the world, and it’s a blast learning how each new one works. Andy in particular is wild; because he can regenerate himself so quickly, his weapon of specialty is his own body, never hesitating to use his own fingertips as bullets and his own gushing blood as a propulsion mechanism. He also has no compunction towards taking on the worst of Fuuko’s Unluck ability, often sacrificing himself to get hit by lightning or falling debris to deal damage to an enemy. Every new Negator power introduced adds a new wrinkle to the way this world works and the different shapes its action can take. Others can freeze matter into suspended animation, force people to act opposite their own intentions, or even subvert someone’s entire belief system. I cannot wait to see what else is in store.

The first cour’s pacing is a little off, and Andy's behavior towards Fuuko in the first couple episodes is nothing short of gross (I promise that eases up), but you can see the show finding its footing as it goes on. Shonen Jump series don’t last for nearly 200 chapters and counting by accident, and I'm excited to see where this goes.

13. NieR: Automata Ver. 1.1a

Those of us who played Yoko Taro’s 2017 masterpiece approached the announcement of an anime adaptation with some trepidation: So much of what made Nier Automata so outstanding and so beloved is that much of the delivery of its narrative is inherent to the fact that it’s a video game. How can a video game known for pushing against the fourth wall of the unique elements of its very medium be faithfully adapted as an anime?

The choice of studio was also concerning: Though A-1 has produced a ridiculous number of excellent series (and some aggressively mid ones that were nonetheless very successful), its track record with video game adaptations has been far less than stellar. The latter three films in the Persona 3 adaptations were solid if uneven, and the Valkyria Chronicles anime seems to have been well-received, but the same can’t be said of A-1’s takes on Ace Attorney, Persona 4 Golden, or Persona 5. Regardless, Yoko himself was heavily involved in the anime’s production, so if they could keep on budget and schedule, Nier Automata would have a fighting chance.

And while there indeed ended up being massive and likely unpredictable production delays, I'd say they’ve done almost as good of a job as they could have so far. While the first cour mainly covers Automata’s A and B routes, it does much more than just play that part of the story straight; it also takes the time to incorporate other elements of the Nier canon. A surprising amount of time is dedicated to the canon introduced in the YoRHa stage play (and by extension the Pearl Harbor Descent Record manga); Lily and the android resistance are woven directly into the narrative far beyond the vague overtures the game makes in their direction. Ver 1.1a also ties the history of the original Nier into the story at unexpected and intriguing (and in my case, tear inducing) moments.

Unfortunately, it’s still too soon to assess this series in its entirety. While too many people who played Nier Automata stopped after route A or B, there is still much more of this story to come. There was some very sloppy CGI integration in the first episode when it aired, but far from enough to put me off the series. For now, it’s a treat for Nier fans, but I’m not sure whether I can recommend it yet to people who are unfamiliar with the source material.

Until the anime is completed, go play Nier Automata. It’s one of my favorite games of all time.

12. Kaguya-sama: Love is War -The First Kiss That Never Ends-

This was a late 2022 theatrical release, but it didn’t see western release until this year and was split into a four-episode mini-season for streaming, so I'm counting it for this year. you can deal with it.

I got completely obsessed with Kaguya-sama early this year, and in record time. I binged the anime and the manga in the span of a couple weeks and irreversibly fell in love. I say with no reservation that it is the best romantic comedy, in any medium, of the 21st century. It nails both the romance and the comedy in equal measure; the characters are perfectly realized right down to the supporting cast, the dynamics between them are carefully considered and consistent with their personalities regardless of circumstance, and every emotional and comedic beat hits exactly as it’s meant to. There is a constant momentum moving the greater plot along, even in the smaller moments, and seismic shifts take over before you’ve even noticed they’re happening.

It’s rare for romcom manga adaptations to stay on the air long enough to actually reach the romantic payoff, and Kaguya-sama fucking nailed it in season 3. Well, we’re pretty sure it did; the central conceit of the psycho-romantic warfare between Kaguya Shinomiya and Miyuki Shirogane is that they’re both chronic overthinkers and won’t accept any romantic undertones or overtures in any form but an explicit confession. So while the finish to season 3 is everything we wanted as an audience, these two dorks still sense a margin for error. Regardless, that would have been a perfectly acceptable place to end the anime.

HOWEVER, the Ice Queen Kaguya arc that follows in the manga is iconic, and A-1 was absolutely right to adapt it. Although Shirogane is ready to move forward with the relationship that (he’s pretty sure) they’ve both wanted for a long time, Kaguya has a crisis of personality and inadvertently reverts to the dead-eyed, emotionally walled-off version of herself he’d initially met, well before either of them had realized they’d fallen in love with one another. The interstitial omake preceding this arc in the manga has Aka Akasaka warning the reader that in order to counteract the massive emotional payoff that just happened, the ensuing chapters would get very, very silly.

And of course, hijinks do indeed ensue; this is Kaguya-sama, after all. But before you realize it, the story is neck deep in Jungian psychology as self-doubt begins to plague Kaguya and Miyuki and they struggle with the faces they think they need to put on for the other and whether their “real” selves even deserve to be loved by the person they idolize. It gets heavy! I cried every time I watched it! And that first time was in a damn movie theater!

I’m much more comfortable appraising First Kiss as a mini-season than as a movie, because frankly, it doesn’t work as a movie. The animation, while maintaining the series’ standard of excellence, isn’t a single degree better than what aired on television, which can be disappointing upon a visit to the theater. The pacing is also off for a feature film; the common knock upon theatrical release was that it felt like four episodes stitched together (it even has the omake-style interludes between scenes, like the show). The arc also focuses very heavily on Kaguya and Miyuki specifically, so the ensemble cast I mentioned earlier does have to take a backseat. Splitting this up for streaming and televised release was the right move here.

Season 3 would have been a very good ending for this series if it never got picked up for the movie. If it doesn’t get picked up for a proper fourth season, this is the perfect place for it to end. The manga has now been adapted up to just past the halfway point, and the next best stopping point would have to wait until a possible, like, fifth season. And that arc in question, while it does have some iconic moments, is very uneven. If this is all we’re getting, we’ve gotten plenty already, and I am satisfied.

If you've watched the first three seasons of Kaguya-sama, you owe it to yourself to watch The First Kiss That Never Ends. It is nearly everything you could ask for. Also, read the manga if you haven’t already. It’s genuinely one of my favorite things I've ever read.

11. The Apothecary Diaries

This one is basically House M.D. set in the Ming Dynasty, and it fucks.

Maomao, an apothecary raised in a pleasure district near the palace of a fictional East Asian empire, is shanghaied (pun intended) into menial work in said palace. She hears tell of a supposed curse plaguing the emperor’s newborn children and the concubines that birthed them, quickly deduces that it may be poisoning, and discreetly leaves a message for the ailing new mothers. She’s found out by an impossibly beautiful young administrator named Jinshi, who quickly deduces that she’s one of the few literate peons in the rear palace, and he puts her to work in the pavilion of the concubine that heeded her advice.

With her knowledge of, resistance to, and slightly masochistic infatuation with various poisons, Maomao slots right in as an attendant and poison tester to one of the emperor’s embattled concubines. Often at Jinshi’s urging (even though she immediately gets the ick at his habitual flirting), Maomao finds herself investigating deaths, mysterious ailments, and strange behaviors, on top of the foreign world of palace politics. Though she’s a deeply jaded person who only seems to care for her special interests, Maomao is incredibly perceptive and often able to suss out the finer details others miss.

Surprisingly, this one is a really breezy watch, and much funnier than you might expect. For all its lush environs, slowly-mounting intrigue, and often stunning cinematography, The Apothecary Diaries isn’t afraid to get a little silly with it. The dialogue is snappy, quick gags abound in a familiar single-panel chibi style you wouldn’t expect in a setting like this, and Komi-esque cat ears spontaneously pop up from Maomao's head whenever her interest is piqued. Interactions between Maomao and Jinshi are always a hoot, and you can pretty quickly figure out where it’s going, although Maomao can’t because she’s still pretty sure Jinshi is a eunuch.

As she does in virtually every role in her dozen-plus years as a seiyuu, Aoi Yuuki crushes it in the starring role. She really nails the disaffected cynicism that animates most of Maomao’s internal monologue and sarcastic dialogue, as well as her hair-trigger glee when presented with her personal interests in food and drink, medicinal herbs, and of course, poison. Yuuki is an indispensable element in ensemble casts like Persona 5, Ace Attorney, Wotakoi, and the aforementioned KamiKatsu (as well as others I don’t plan on watching like My Hero Academia, Rent-a-Girlfriend, and The Seven Deadly Sins), so it’s especially nice to hear her in a spotlight role outside of the odd Madoka Magica, spider isekai, or Cyberpunk Edgerunners.

There are a handful of anime on this list that will be continuing or returning in January, and second only to my #1 anime this year, this is the one I’m most excited to see more of. At time of writing, the show appears to be shifting in a new direction, and I’m hoping to see it take less of an episodic pace.

Part 3 is on the way! I'm going to split my top ten into two more posts, because I ended up writing... a lot more than I'd expected.

#anime reviews

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tightjeansjavi · 1 year

Text

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ: Part 14

“Chest infect me, waste my days”

Joel Miller x f!o/c

A/N: well, here we are! I made it (fucking finally) this chapter turned out to be a LONG one. Second longest one I have written, thus far!

Summary: After finding out Robert sold the battery you and Joel needed for a truck to find Tommy, you hunt him down. The day takes an interesting turn when you, Joel, and Tess run into a spitfire teenager, named Ellie.

~word count: 8.5k~

Warnings: implied age gap, established relationship, angst, more angst and oh, even more angst! canon typical violence, triggering themes, may be disturbing for some viewers, physical violence, being held captive, death of a minor character, trauma, PTSD, depression, brief suicidal thoughts, mentions of drinking, drug use, explosions, depictions of graphic wounds, swearing, anger, rage, arguing, cluster fuck of emotions, (+18) minors dni !

Songs for this chapter :

“Hourglass” by Catfish and the Bottlemen

“I’m a Mess” by Ed Sheeran

“Pirate Song” by Mehro

“Disarm” by The Civil Wars

“Blood In The Cut” by K. Flay

Summer, 2023 : Boston QZ

Believing that Robert was just going to hand you, and Joel, the car battery you so desperately needed, without spilling a little bit of your blood, was truly laughable.

This was by far the stupidest thing you agreed to thus far. You didn’t have much of a choice as Joel’s nightmares, overall mood, and attitude were worsening. Why he also decided to trust Robert's word, was beyond you.

It came as no surprise when you found yourself being jumped by two of Robert’s goons in broad fucking daylight. This was definitely not the way you wanted to start your morning off. The only positive? Perhaps you would soon find yourself getting some decent fucking sleep again.

One blow to the head was enough to knock you out cold. You were awoken by someone snapping their fingers in your face. Your head painfully throbbed and you could taste copper on your tongue from your split upper lip. So, Roberts goons had roughed you up a bit. You couldn’t really blame them for it, considering you and Joel had killed their friends.

“Ah, there she is. There’s the pretty little bitch.”

Robert. Of fucking course.

You couldn’t help but laugh as you lolled your head to the side, refusing to look at him for a moment. You took a deep inhale, then exhaled as you turned your head, looking him dead on with a smirk plastered on your lips.

“Took you fuckin long enough to come after me. Pretty predictable of you. So, what’s gonna happen next? You gonna kill me? You’d be doing me a solid favor if you did honestly. Haven’t had a solid night of decent fucking sleep in months.”

“You think this is funny, sweetheart?” Robert was not expecting you to laugh, let alone suggest that he kill you.

“Oh, I find this to be fucking hilarious. You wanna know why?” You leaned forward in the chair, as you spoke, “doesn’t matter what you do to me. Beat me up, torture me, kill me. Do your fucking worst. I just know you’re a dead man regardless. Cause as soon as Joel finds me? He’s gonna know exactly who to go after. It’s gonna be you Robert. So again, go ahead. Take your revenge on me. I know how fucking badly you want to.”

Robert had leaned down to your level, gripping your chin tightly between his grimy fingers. “Is that a threat, my dear Gwen?”

You laughed, spitting a mixture of saliva and congealed blood on the bastard's face. “How the fuck can it be a threat when it’s a known fact that you’re a dead man Robert. You and I both know Joel well enough that he’s not going to take this lightly.”

Robert had released his grip on your chin, using that hand to wipe the blood and saliva from his face. You didn’t even get a chance to open your mouth to speak before his fist collided with your face, your nose made a sickening crunching sound as the soft bone tissues were broken.

Ouch.

There was fresh blood leaking down your nose, over your lips, chin and neck, staining your shirt crimson. Robert’s face was slightly horrified when you laughed again.

“Damn. That must have really fucking felt good, huh? You gonna do it again? C’mon, is that all you really got?”

He couldn’t get under your skin if he even tried. You had absolutely zero fucks left to give and frankly, the soothing sensation of blood leaking out of your body, felt pretty nice. You were eerily calm.

“I meant what I said y’know. You’re crazier than him.”

“Oh please, tell me something I don’t already know.”

He chuckled taking a step back as he admired his ‘handy work.’

“I’m feeling generous today sweetheart. Consider us even. You had to already know that I wasn’t going to give you the battery, right?”

“Oh I’m fully fucking aware that you weren’t going to give me the damn battery. Joel insisted, and I trusted his word. I deserved to get my blood spilled a bit. Although, I’m thinking maybe I went too easy on you. Maybe I should have twisted the knife a little fuckin deeper—“

He backhanded your face then. The motion nearly gave you whiplash as your head twisted to the side.

“Did Joel ever fuckin tell you that mouth of yours is gonna get you killed one day sweetheart?”

You turned your head, looking right at him once more with a smirk.

“Oh, he’s told me about 1000 times already, Robert. You aren’t special.”

Robert had brushed his grimy thumb against your cheek and you grimaced, fighting the urge to bite his fucking thumb off right then and there.

“What’s gotten your panties in such a twist, sweetheart? Miller not giving it to you the way that he should be?”

What was it with men assuming that women were pissed off just because they weren’t getting “fucked” the way that they deserved. Why did it always come down to sex? Maybe you were fucking pissed because your ass got jumped by these goons, and your nose was fucking broken as a result.

Fucking grimy ass excuses for men, always thinking with their dicks.

“He’s giving it to me just fine. Thank you so much for being concerned about my sex life Robert. You’d never get the fucking chance. I’d bite your dick off in a heartbeat.”

Robert let out a soft sigh as he snapped his fingers once and the two guys that roughed you up in the beginning, released the restraints from around your wrists.

“I know you’re his killing machine, dearest but you could also become mine. The offer still stands.”

“That’s where you’re mistaken, Robert. I’m my own killing machine, and right now? I’m done with your shit, and I would very much like to go home and drink till my face stops fucking hurting. So are we done here? I’ll tell Joel some idiotic teenagers jumped me and roughed me up. Your name will not leave my mouth, I assure you.”

“I’m choosing to trust you, just this one time sweetheart. You go on and run along back to Joel now.”

Just as your wrists were finally free, you heard a collective yell, followed by a loud explosion. You were sent tumbling to the ground, your ears ringing and there was a good chance you had a concussion from the impact. You could feel warm blood dripping down the new gash on your forehead.

Fucking awesome.

You struggled to pull yourself up from the concrete, grabbing ahold of what was left of the wall closest to you for support.

Both of Robert's goons were dead on the floor beside your feet but Robert? He was gone. Motherfucker always had his ways of escaping death. He was like a fucking cockroach. Cut its head off, and the body still moves.

You stumbled outside, the sunlight blinding your vision as your ears continued to ring. Your head throbbed painfully but you were still sharp enough to hear gunshots whizzing past you.

“Free Boston now, mother fucker!” A firefly had yelled. Of course this was another firefly attack.

All citizens must clear the surrounding area immediately. Do not return until FEDRA authorities permit.

When you saw FEDRA soldiers marching up the street, guns drawn, you backed up slowly, with your hands above your head.

“On your knees!” One of the soldiers had demanded

You said you weren’t a firefly, but they didn’t believe you.

You were shoved down to your knees and then it was lights out for the second time that day. Hey, at least you were finally going to get some decent fucking sleep.

Ellie Williams was like most typical teenagers. She had a bit of an attitude problem, she had gotten into fights, she was defiant, had a mouth to her. Ellie was also a devout friend, and she loved hard. What made Ellie unique, and valuable, was something that she viewed as a burden. Ellie was immune.

If she was so fucking valuable, then why the hell did Marlene have her chained up like this?

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Four.”

“Five.”

“Six.”

“Seven.”

“Eight”

“Fuck…you.” The teenager spoke with a bored, and annoyed expression on her face. She raised her middle finger up at the medic, who didn’t even look amused by Ellie’s actions.

“Hold out your hand—”

Ellie already had her hand raised.

“State your name, slowly and clearly.”

“Veronica.” Ellie deadpanned.

“Same as yesterday..and the day before and the fucking day before that..I think you get the picture.”

“People are going to come looking for me.”

“People from FEDRA! You hear me?”

“Let me out or you’re gonna pay motherfucker!”

“I’m not supposed to be here!” She yelled.

The medic had already left and the door was slammed shut as Ellie sank down to the ground, in frustration.

On the wall across from her, written in red paint (or even possibly blood) were the words, “When you’re lost in the darkness”

It was late in the evening, sometime after curfew when you were thrown out of lockup.

Your body hit the concrete with a harsh thud as you rolled onto your side, letting out a groan of pain.

You waited until the FEDRA fucks had pulled the steel door shut before you slowly pulled yourself up onto your knees, leaning over, with a mix of blood, sweat, and dirt covering your body. Your eyes were squeezed shut as the dull throbbing in your head began to intensify.

For a split moment in your agony, you thought about how nice it would be to go home, go to sleep, and never wake up again. It flashed through your mind before your heart reminded you that it wasn’t your time yet. You couldn’t leave Joel. You couldn’t do that to him. He was far too entangled in your soul. The thought of leaving him in this cruel, godforsaken, shit fucking excuse of a world, sent a wave of pain right through your heart.

You would not be dying today.

The walk back to yours and Joel’s apartment felt like it took days. By the time you reached the stairs, you were winded and seeing stars behind your eyes.

All you hoped is that Joel was asleep already. You were too wounded, too exhausted to deal with his impending interrogation. All you wanted to do was have a few drinks, and knock out.

When you quietly unlocked the door, you were met with silence, sans the static of the radio by the window. You let out a sigh of relief, your shoulders drooping in as you stumbled inside.

Joel must have only gotten home a little before you did because there on the table was a bottle of whiskey, with your name on it.

Sweet-sweet relief.

You sunk down into the chair, letting your head rest back against the worn wood. The blood from the gash on your forehead had stopped bleeding hours ago. It was crusted over, the blood congealed but it was still painful to the touch.

You wasted no time to snatch the bottle up and take a deep, long swig of the amber liquor. It burned down your throat deliciously.

You took a few more swigs, hoping that the liquor would ease your worries, and lull you to sleep.

You set the bottle back down along the table, and that’s when you noticed the residual powder from the pills that Joel would smuggle in for ration cards. You dragged your finger through what was left, observing it before you let out a deep sigh.

The tears came shortly after. They raked through your body, sending chills and shivers down your spine as you silently wept. Your tears were heavy and flowed down your cheeks like a babbling stream. Your breaths came out shallow, jagged, and you tried desperately to regain your composure.

You wept for Joel.

When your tears finally did cease, you dragged yourself up from the chair and padded down the hall to yours and Joel’s bedroom.

That’s where you found your lover, laid on his side, his back facing the door. His arms were crossed over his chest, almost as if he was hugging himself, in place of your warm, familiar body. He often would sleep with his body facing the door, with his good ear uncovered. You knew it was a particularly bad day when his back was facing the door, as if he didn’t care who the fuck would come into his space.

Your movements were silent as you sank down onto the old mattress, careful to not disturb him in his slumber. You brought your arms around his middle, gently coaxing his back against your chest. You knew your wounds needed cleaning but at that moment, you didn’t care. You just wanted to hold him.

Your face comfortably rested along the crook of his neck, breathing in his natural musk. A mix of pine, gunpowder, and whiskey. You felt him stir at the slightest when your arms had so gently wrapped around him.

“Baby?..” he whispered, eyes still closed as he brought his hands around yours, interlocking your fingers over his tummy, as he let out a long, peaceful, exhale.

“Shh..” you softly cooed. “It’s just me. Go back to sleep lover. You’re safe.”

He let out a low hum, drowsily bringing one of your interlocked hands up to his lips, brushing them over the outside of your hand, and against your knuckles before his body relaxed again.

You awoke sometime in the middle of the night to a presence looming over your face. You knew it was your Joel by the way he was ever so tenderly holding your face between his calloused hands. His thumbs were lightly brushing against your cheeks. They were splattered with dry blood and grime. Your eyes were still closed, but you could picture the furrow of his brows, and his clenched jaw in your mind. His thumb had softly brushed against the dried blood against your hairline, eliciting a wince from you.

He was furious. You could sense it coursing through his entire being as he carefully assessed the damage inflicted on your beautiful face. You were hurt; someone was going to pay for it.

When his thumb brushed across the scabbed skin of your split upper lip, your eyelashes slowly fluttered open.

“Who did this to you?” He spoke above a whisper. There was a slight strain to his voice as you looked up into his deep brown eyes.

“Joel—”

He spoke firmer this time. There was no way in hell that he was going to let you dance around this.

“Who.Did.This.To.You.” He asked with a low growl emitting from his chest as he spoke every syllable.

“Robert.”

There was a moment of silence between you, you could feel his warm breath fanning your face, his eyes locked on yours. His features hardened. You could only imagine the millions of ways Joel was thinking of killing Robert in those moments.

“Did he—did try and?” Joel couldn’t even form the complete sentence and by the way his face constricted, you knew he was seeing red. If Robert ever— you remembered the unpleasant chill that slipped down your spine when Robert had brushed his grimy thumb across your cheekbone.

“No, baby. He didn’t. I promise.” You reassured him.

You could see a brief moment of a relief wash over your man’s beautiful, weathered features. It was gone as quickly as it came. Hidden from your view and replaced with hardness once more.

“I’m so sorry Gwen. I should have been there. Baby, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. Thought maybe the fucker was scared into intimidation. Thought it would be safe. My sweet girl, I’m so sorry.”

You let out a deep sigh as your eyes fluttered shut once more. You were exhausted, physically, and mentally.

“It’s not your fault Joel. I should have been more cautious. Two of his guys knocked me out in broad daylight. I wasn’t watching my back and that’s all on me.”

“No. It’s not your fault. I insisted that we trust him and that he’d give us the battery. I got you fuckin’ hurt dammit. Don’t start this shit with me okay? You coulda been fuckin’ dead in alley. He could have—” He insisted.

“Joel, please. I don’t want to argue. I’m tired and I got thrown in fucking lock up for the rest of the day. This was a collective fuck up on both our parts. I’m not going to let you take all the fucking blame. I won’t allow you to do that to yourself.”

“You got fuckin’ thrown in lockup?! For what?” He harshly spoke.

“Another firefly attack. Bombed the building next to us. FEDRA had me down on my knees and I insisted I wasn’t a firefly, but they didn’t believe me.”

He shook his head, grinding his teeth together as he thought about the hell you had just gone through.

“I don’t care what you say, Alright? I should have been there as your backup. Was fuckin’ stupid of me to let you go in alone. Shoulda known that you were goin’ to get set up.”

“Joel. It literally doesn’t fucking matter right now, alright? I got my shit handed to me and I made it out alive. Can’t you just for once focus on that? You can’t always be the hero there to save me every fucking time I’m in trouble—”

“Like hell I can’t.” He spat.

“You could have fuckin’ died. I ain’t about to brush over that fact. This happened because I’ve been blinded by the fact that my brother could be dead out there. Fuckin’ careless of me.”

You let out a deep sigh as you slowly sat up so you were more level with him. Your hands were gently holding his face now as you tried to bring him back down to earth. He was fuming. His chest was rising at a fast rate, his nostrils flared and his pupils dilated.

“Joel, listen to me alright? I’m right here. I am alive. I am breathing. I’m injured, sure but c’mon, you and I both know I wouldn’t go down without putting up a fight.”

Joel took a deep inhale through his nose, closing his eyes for a moment as he relished in the softness of your hands holding his face. No amount of your softness could keep his anger at bay. It was there, it was simmering, and it wasn’t about to go away.

“Do you have any fuckin’ idea what I was put through when you nearly died on me the first time? Do you have any idea what I felt, sweet girl? I don’t care that you made it out alive. You could have fuckin’ died and I wouldn’t have even known! I would have found you in a ditch or a fuckin’ alley—” his voice broke as his tears began to freely fall.

Fuck.

“Joel, stop it. Please stop! Listen to me. Please just listen to me. Listen to my voice. Do not allow yourself to go to that place, okay? For fuck sakes, baby. I’m right here. I am holding your fucking face in my hands. I’m breathing, see? Do you want to feel my heartbeat?” You pleaded with him, grabbing his hand and placing it against your chest, where he could feel the steady thrum of your heart beat under his palm.

“You don’t fuckin’ understand. You’re alive, you're breathing. You’re here right in front of me. You’re right here, but how do you expect me to just fuckin’ act like there wasn’t a possibility that you coulda been dead? That possibility is always fuckin’ there and I can’t—I can’t lose you.” He admitted.

“Joel, do you hear that? It’s my fucking heartbeat. It’s my blood pumping, my lungs producing oxygen. Please, I’m begging you to just focus on that. Can you just try, for a moment?”

“I understand that there’s always going to be the possibility that you could lose me, I get it baby. It’s scary. I get afraid of the possibility of losing you too, every goddamn day. I try my best to not let it consume me. Sometimes the thoughts win, sometimes they don’t. I don’t focus on the times that they win, I focus on the times that I persevere.”

Joel let your words sink into his core, to his very soul. He knew he was getting himself worked up. Instead of minimizing his fears, you helped him work through them. He didn’t realize that you shared the same fears as he did. The fear of losing each other.

“I’m sorry.” He finally spoke, letting his head hang between your hands.

“Joel, you have nothing to be sorry for, okay? Please, baby. Look at me. I know you were scared. Hell, I was too, okay? I—almost thought of what it would be like if I had fucking died today. Whether it would be from the injuries I sustained from Robert or Fedra knocking me around a bit. When they threw me out onto the concrete and I was just laying there? The thought crossed my mind.”

Joel was silent as he slowly lifted his head to look back up at you, he spotted your fresh tears and then his arms were around you, pulling you into his broad chest as your legs found their home around his hips.

“No, my sweet girl. Please tell me this isn’t true. You didn’t have those thoughts. You were just..you were in pain and confused. Maybe the heat came into play? You weren’t thinking clearly, that’s all.” He tried to convince himself.

He was clutching you so tightly to his chest, you felt like you almost couldn’t breathe. He was afraid that if he let you go, you’d turn to dust before his very eyes.

“I’m sorry. I wish it weren’t true. It was a moment that briefly washed over me as I laid there. I thought of you Joel. I thought about how I couldn’t leave you like that. I wouldn’t. This is why I understand you, okay? I have my own set of fears, just like you. The only thing we can do is try and not let them win. We’re survivors, remember?”

His fingers were under your torn shirt, feeling the warmth of your skin against the pads of his fingers, his hands splayed out across your lower back, feeling you naturally lean into his touch.

You had managed to sneak your hands back up to his face, letting your fingers stroke his coarse, wiry beard.

He spoke finally.

“I got you, you got me, always.”

“You got me, I got you, always.” You repeated it back, pressing a soft kiss to his jawline as he held you.

“I take it, he sold the battery as well? Fuckin’ knew I shouldn’t have trusted that bastard.”

“He did. I also gave him my word that I wouldn’t tell you this was his doing. Told him that I’d tell you some teenagers roughed me up.” I also promised Robert you wouldn’t hurt him, but I would very much like for you to hurt him.”

Joel scoffed under his breath at Robert’s stupidity. “He actually fuckin’ believed you? I'm gonna do more than just hurt him, baby. I’m gonna fuckin’ kill him. He’s gonna answer to me for what he’s done to you.”

“I know you will Joel.”

“What the hell are we gonna do about the battery? We need it for the fuckin’ truck. It’s the only way we’re gonna get to Tommy at this rate.”

“We’re gonna get the battery back before you kill him. We’ll figure out who he sold it to. Then we’re gonna track this motherfucker down, get our battery, and our truck, and then we’ll go find Tommy. Alright?”

“Alright.” He agreed.

Joel did not allow sleep to welcome you with open arms, till he had helped you out of your tattered clothing, bathed you under the gentle stream of the shower, and tended to your wounds. You nearly dozed off in his arms as he held you in the shower. He had to coax you awake with soft touches, squeezes and feather light kisses to your cheeks.

“C’mon, sweet girl. Keep those eyes open for me. I’m almost done honey, and then you can rest, okay? He whispered against your damp hair as he washed the blood and grime from your skin.

He helped you out of the shower, wrapping you up in a towel before he had you sit on the edge of the sink, while he comfortably stood between your thighs, tending to each one of your wounds. He had the first aid kit resting on your lap as he used a bit of rubbing alcohol on a rag to disinfect the gash along your head. Once he was finished, he soothed the sting from the alcohol by pressing a soft kiss to the tender, healing flesh. Once you were both tucked safely away in bed, with your head against his chest, and his arms draped around your waist, did you finally slip into a peaceful slumber.

It didn’t take long for you to figure out where the fuck Robert was hiding. His “loyal” followers wasted no time on giving him up when you offered one of them a small stack of ration cards. You were good at doing the sweet talking. Joel was close by, leaned up against a wall, with his arms crossed over his broad chest. He was watching the exchange go down intently. When you looked over your shoulder at him, giving him a small nod, he returned one back.

“Hey, friend. Don’t worry, I don’t want anything.” A QZ resident spoke as they approached Joel.

“But if you’re feelin’ lost…”

Joel didn’t even look over at the man. He was too focused on you. His head turned only the slightest, his jaw clenched as he muttered, “You tell me to “look for the light” and I’ll break your fuckin’ jaw.”

The guy held his hands up in defense, quietly backing away from Joel just as you were approaching.

“Well, it cost us a couple of cards, but we got him. So much for his “loyal” followers huh? Gave him up just like that.”

Joel’s hand had found its way to your lower back, gently grazing his fingers across the sliver of exposed skin beneath your shirt.

“No surprise there darlin.’ So, where’s the fucker at?”

“Said he’s taking the battery to a red-tagged building. At the corner of Stillman and Cross.”

Joel nodded, letting you walk alongside him. His fingers were still splayed against your lower back. Normally, your man wasn’t one for PDA. After what happened to you yesterday, he wasn’t going to let you out of his sight.

“The one that Miguel used to use?” He asked.

“Bingo.” You grinned up at him, using your hand to shield your eyes from the sweltering sun. Your face was discolored from the bruising. The swelling from your black eye had slightly gone down along with your split upper lip. The gash along your forehead would take longer to heal. To put it simply, you looked like hell.

“We’ll take the subway tunnel under Haymarket, get into the building from below, and take Robert by surprise.”

“Pay this fucker back.” Joel swore to you.

The two of you headed back to the apartment, making it up the stairs before you noticed Tess, leaned against the apartment door with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Jesus fuck, when Joel told me you got beat up, I didn’t realize it was gonna be this bad. You look like hell Gwen.”

You punched Joel in the bicep lightly, narrowing your eyes at him. “You really just had to go and tell her huh?”

He stifled a chuckle. “She was gonna find out either way. Besides, she’s got her own reasons for wantin’ to get back at him.”

“Yeah, okay. Fair enough.”

“So, what’s the plan then?” Tess asked.

You and Joel gave her the rundown of the plan, step by step. The three of you were back at it again. It felt like the good old times, even if it was just for a brief moment.

As the three of you set out, after reloading your supplies, you had no idea that your lives would drastically change in a short amount of time. All thanks to a spit-fire teenager, named Ellie Williams.

“Well, the battery’s no good.” You spoke while standing over Robert’s deceased body, gun drawn. “He still tried to sell it, twice. You greedy fuck.” Hope you rot in hell.

There were other deceased bodies other than Robert’s, lying on the tarnished wood. A shootout had clearly taken place and Joel instinctively took the lead, stepping in front of you, and Tess, his own gun drawn. His eyes and ears focused on the sound of a human grunt, and whispers.

You and Tess came up behind him, guns drawn, focused on the sound, as Joel peeked around the corner, taking a small step down the hall.

He had briefly recognized Marlene’s face, just as his attention diverted to the door next to his side opening. In a fury, a girl had thrown herself out of the door, letting out a yell with her knife drawn. Joel wasted no time to body slam the kid into the wall. He was acting solely on reflexes, and what he believed to be an apparent threat.

Ellie had fallen against the floor pretty hard, slightly winded from Joel throwing her into the wall. She slowly pulled herself up from the ground, her breath staggered as she looked up at the barrel of the gun, and the threatening, brooding man that possessed it.

You could see the fear strike the young girl's eyes from where you were standing. You knew Joel wouldn’t shoot a kid. His thumbs were nowhere near the trigger.

“Joel?” Marlene asked, clutching her side where a bullet wound had penetrated the skin tissue. She was in disbelief that he was there.

“Marlene?” He answered back, the barrel of his gun still pointed directly at Ellie.

Ellie had tried to grab her knife from the floor, but Joel immediately slammed the toe of his boot over it just as she reached for it. He gave her a warning look, a stern one.

You and Tess stepped around the corner, your guns at your side. Neither of you saw the situation at hand as a threat.

“So this is who Robert screwed us over with?” You asked, stopping a few feet behind Joel. “The Che Guevara of Boston? I mean, war must be going pretty fucking shitty for you to be buying from scumbags like him.”

“Yeah, it obviously has been.” Marlene quipped back. She had never been a fan of yours, and you weren’t the biggest fan of hers either. Not when the stunt her and the fireflies committed yesterday, resulted in you being thrown in lock up.

“The merch was bad,” Marlene continued, “and he obviously didn’t take “fuck off” for an answer.”

Joel’s boot was still firmly pressed down on Ellie’s knife, his gun now pointed at Marlene.

“Gimme my knife.” The teenager demanded.

“What do you need a car battery for?” Joel asked, not even paying attention to Ellie’s request.

Ellie went to grab her knife from under his boot and as soon as she did, Joel’s gun was trained back on her. A mix of annoyance and displeasure crossed his face.

“Don’t.” He warned.

Marlene and Kim immediately raised their guns at Joel. Yours and Tess’s quickly followed.

“Not at her. Point it at me.” Marlene requested and by her expression alone, and the strained tone to her voice, you could tell this wasn’t just some other kid. There was always something more to the story.

Ellie’s arms were raised up against the wall, she had fear deeply rooted in her dark brown eyes.

“Joel.” You calmly spoke, stepping around him, placing your hand on his arm, coaxing him to lower his gun. He begrudgingly obeyed, looking over your shoulder at the terrified teenager with a raise of his brows.

Marlene let out a visible sigh of relief when Joel had lowered his gun away from Ellie.

“To answer your question, I need the battery for a better reason than you do. No offense Joel, but Tommy’s just one man.”

Joel didn’t like her answer one bit. Not one fucking bit. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean Marlene? That’s my fuckin’ brother you’re talkin’ about. You’re the cause of it. You turned my own fuckin’ brother against me.”

Your eyes were focused on Ellie as she slowly brought her arms down from the wall. She briefly made eye contact with you, and you gave the teenager a reassuring nod to stay put. Don’t move. Stay where you are. You’ll be safe.

“We were gonna move Ellie outta the zone tonight. I know what I did Joel. This goes further than Tommy, than you and I. Than all of us combined here.”

“Yeah? By the looks of it, you aren’t gonna make it far with a wound like that Marlene.” You scoffed under your breath.

Marlene gave you a disapproving look, focusing her attention back on Joel. “So now I’m thinkin’…you’re gonna do it.”

“The hell we are—” Joel was cut off by Ellie’s immediate rebuttal.

“I’m not goin’ with them!” Could you really blame her? You wouldn’t want to go with them either if you were seemingly held captive, with a gun pointed at you like that. She was just a kid. You seemed to be the only one at the moment who recognized this.

“Who is she?” Tess asked.

“To you? She’s cargo.”

“We don’t smuggle people.” Was Joel’s immediate response.

Ellie looked around nervously, her eyes locking on yours once more. You seemed to be the only friendly face to her at that moment.

“There’s a team of fireflies at the old State House. I know what’s out there. We were going with an entire squadron for that exact reason. Now I don’t have a truck, and I sure as hell don’t have a squadron.” Marlene sarcastically gestured to the dead fireflies on the ground in the hallway.

“FEDRA’s five minutes away. They surely heard all that gunfire, Joel. What I do have? Is you. I know what all three of you are capable of. For better, or for worse.”

“Joel.”

He turned slightly to look at you, shaking his head. “No. We don’t smuggle people Gwen. We fuckin’ don’t. This ain’t the time to be the hero, alright? We’ve wasted enough fuckin’ time already. We’ll just have to get a battery another way.”

“What are they capable of?” Ellie asked, uncertainty in her tone.

“She’s just a kid Joel. What’re we gonna fucking do? Just leave her here?”

“I fuckin’ said no. That’s final.”

Marlene tried to reason with him one more time. “You get her there safely, and they’ll give you what you need. Not just a battery. The whole fuckin’ thing. Fueled-up truck, guns, supplies, all of it. I swear.” To your ears, it sounded like too sweet of a deal. To Joel, it sounded like the best news he had heard in awhile.

He looked down at the kid then, seeing that she might be the ticket to finding his brother. He kicked her knife off to the side, far from her reach.

“Asshole!” She looked up at him, annoyance written all over her face.

You were already reaching down to help the teenager up from the floor, Joel had grasped your arm, tugging you back up, giving you a warning look.

The three of you briefly discussed it along the wall. It was clear then that Ellie would be coming with you.

“Okay, here’s the deal. We’ll get her to your crew at the State House. However, before we hand her over, they give us everything we want. If not? We kill her. Right there and then.” Tess spoke.

“Deal” Marlene agreed with zero hesitation in her tone.

“Really? That fucking fast?” Ellie spoke in disbelief. You could see the distrust she immediately felt for Marlene. For throwing her now to some complete strangers. You sympathized with the kid for that reason.

“Go and get your backpack. Now, Ellie.”

Ellie pulled herself up from the ground, grabbing her backup from the other room. On the way out, she shoulder checked Joel, bending down and grabbed her knife before she continued down the hall.

“Joel, don’t fuck this up. Please.” She begged him.

Joel gave Marlene one look, with no response before he turned on his heel, and headed down the hall.

It was pouring outside as the four of you left the building. Joel walked behind you and Ellie, while Tess was in the front. You walked back to the apartment in a haste, opening the door before ushering the kid inside, closing it behind her.

“Was it really necessary to say that we’re gonna kill her? C’mon. She’s just a fucking kid. We’re not gonna kill a kid. That’s fucking ridiculous and you both know it.” You spoke, leaned against the outside wall with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Didn’t I tell you back there that this is no time to act like the fuckin’ hero? Can you just listen for once in your life?” Joel spoke, annoyance in his tone.

“We’re not fucking killing a goddamn kid Joel.”

“Fine. What’s the plan? There’s the short way, or the long way. We’re gonna have to stop at Bill and Franks to reload on ammo and supplies, after we deliver the kid to the fireflies.”

“What if Marlene was bluffing? I’m not saying she was, but that was an awful big promise she made back there. If she’s lying, and there’s no fireflies at the State House, then what are we gonna do?”

Joel let out a deep sigh, scrubbing his hand over his face. “Guess we’re just gonna have to figure that out if it gets to that point. Huh darlin’?”

“Just think it would be smart for us to think of all the possibilities.”

“That’s why you’re the brains of the operation.” Tess chimed in. “Marlene seemed too desperate to be bluffing. This kid is obviously important to the fireflies for whatever fucking reason that may be.”

“We’ll leave after dark. Take the old route out of the QZ. I’ll tell you both one thing right now. I will not be fuckin’ riskin’ my life for this kid. You got that? Not a fuckin’ chance.”

Tess rolled her eyes while you let out a low scoff. “Yeah, alright Joel. No one’s asking you to risk your life for anyone. Don’t go and get your panties in a twist Texas. Now listen, you guys stay here. I’m gonna go home and let Bea know I’ll be gone for a few days. She can meet us at Bill in Franks. I’ll radio her when we get there.”

“Sounds good. We leave at nightfall then?”

“Nightfall. See you in a bit.”

Tess headed down the stairs, and out of sight. Just as Joel was grabbing the door handle, you stopped him, backing him against the wall.

“Hold on there now cowboy. Before you go in there, can you please try and be fucking nice? I know you’re pissed as all hell that Robert sold the battery, and now we’re in this. You gotta remember that’s a kid in there. Not an adult. A fucking kid. Don’t be an asshole.”

“Here we go again.” He grumbled.

“Do I have to fucking repeat myself Joel? Be fucking nice.”

He scoffed under his breath, letting his hands grab your waist firmly, pulling you flush against his chest. “Fine. I ain’t gonna enjoy doin’ it though. I want you to know that.”

“Yeah, yeah, grumpy. Whatever you say.”

“Cut that attitude before I do somethin’ about it.”

You shut him up quickly then with a surprise kiss to his cheek, before you slipped out of his grasp and opened the door to the apartment.

You could hear him mutter distinctly under his breath, “fuckin’ minx” before he followed you inside, closing the door behind him and locked it.

Ellie had already been snooping through the apartment, she looked slightly guilty as she held a thick book in her hands titled, “The Billboard Book of Number 1 Hits.” you gave her a reassuring nod before heading down the hall to gather up some things. Leaving the teenager with Joel.

“So, who’s Bill and Frank?” she asked curiously as Joel strode past her, throwing his backpack down as he sank down onto the couch.

“The radio’s a smuggling code, right? ‘60’s song, they don’t have anything new, ‘70’s they got new stuff. What’s ‘80’s?” Man, this kid was pretty sharp.

Joel didn’t respond as he rose from the couch, walking over to her and snatched the book, slamming it shut, and threw it down on the table with a harsh thud.

He wasted no time to head back to the couch, flopping down on it without a care in the world. This kid, this cargo was already a fucking nuisance in his eyes.

“What are you doing?”

“Killin’ time.”

“Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure that out.” He spoke with his eyes closed.

She picked the book back up from the table, walking past him. “Your watch is broken.” Ellie stated the obvious.

You and Joel had the same idea of taking a quick power nap. Conserving your energy was a smart move.

Joel awoke to Ellie sitting alongside the chair by the window, looking out at the street below.

“You mumble in your sleep. Just thought you should know.”

Joel grunted in response, slowly sitting up as he rubbed his shoulder.

“I’ve never been on the other side of the wall.”

Ellie felt like she was talking to a fucking brick wall. She sensed some form of comfort. Anything she could find at that moment.

“You guys go out there a lot?”

He sighed, leaning back against the couch. He had no particular interest in engaging in any sort of conversation with this kid, but he’d do it for you.

“I guess.”

“When was the last time?”

“Maybe a year? What’s it matter to you?”

“But you know where to go. So we’re going to be okay.”

He finally looked up at her then. He could sense her uncertainty just by the way she looked at him. His face softened, just for a moment. “Yeah. We’re gonna be okay.”

“What’s the deal with you anyway? You some bigwig’s daughter or somethin’?” He asked.

“I guess you could say I’m something like that. Sure.”

Silence.

“Oh, the radio came on when you were sleeping.” She casually stated.

This caught his attention immediately.

“What? What was the song?”

“He kept saying something like, “wake me up before you go-go?”

“Shit.” He whispered under his breath, looking down at the floor.

Ellie looked over at him, a smirk spreading across her face. “Gotcha.” she spoke in victory. ‘80’s means trouble, code broken.” She whispered the last bit.

Just as Joel was standing up, clearly not impressed with the kids' antics, and very much annoyed, you emerged from the bedroom, backpack slung on your shoulder, and the front door of the apartment unlocked, revealing Tess.

“Relieved to see you didn’t kill each other.” You mused.

Joel let out a huff as he grabbed his own bag, slinging it over his shoulder as you tossed him his coat. “You’re hilarious, darlin’”

“That’s cute and all guys but we really gotta get goin.’ If this all works out, Bea is gonna meet us at Bill and Franks, three days from now.”

“Anything for love, right?” You spoke, looking at Joel.

“Jesus Christ. I thought by now you guys would surpass the whole honeymoon stage.”

“Shuddup, Tess. I know you agree with me.” You walked over to Ellie. “We gotta take the underground system to avoid FEDRA. You got a coat in your bag kid?”

Ellie nodded.

“Good. Put it on.”

The four of you crept out into the night. The rain had let up some but there were still low rumbles of thunder in the distance.

The tunnel system was dark, and musty, but the three of you had used it many times. You knew it like it was the back of your hand.

Joel was the first to emerge from the ground, helping you out, then Ellie and Tess.

Ellie was shook to her core that she was actually outside for once as she stood up, looking around in childlike amazement. “Holy shit. I’m actually outside.”

In a flash, you grabbed her arm, bringing her back down to the earth. “Hey. Don’t be stupid, alright? You want to get yourself killed?” Ellie shook her head. “That’s what I thought. You stay low, alright. Stay close, and follow my lead.”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” She spoke apologetically.

You gave her a reassuring nod. “Alright, let’s go. We’re not out of the woods yet. Last thing you want is to get thrown in lock up, kid. Trust me.”

FEDRA was on full patrol tonight. Armored trucks, helicopters whirring above. It would actually be a goddamn miracle if the four of you weren’t caught.

Just when it seemed like you were all safe, you turned a corner, seeing a FEDRA officer urinating on a concrete wall.

Fucking fantastic.

Once the officer turned around, zipped up his pants and pulled his visor up. He was shocked to see you, Joel, and Tess.

“You gotta be fuckin’ shittin’ me.”

“Okay, let’s talk this out. Lower your gun man. Ain’t no need to be pointin’ that at us. We can talk this through.” Joel spoke with his hands raised.

“Turn around. Get on your fuckin’ knees. Get on your fuckin’ knees!” The officer demanded. The brightness of his flashlight shined painfully in your eyes.

“Hold on. Take it easy—”

“What did I fuckin’ tell you, man? I said stay the fuck home. Get on your fuckin’ knees!”

You grabbed the sleeves of Ellie’s jacket, gently pulling her down onto her knees beside you.

“Listen, you let us do this run? We’ll split the cards with you. I swear on it.” You spoke, turning your head to look over your shoulder at the officer.

“Oh, will you? That’s fuckin’ rich comin’ from you Gwen. Shut your fuckin’ mouth and turn around. Put your hands on your head, eyes forward.”

The four of you obeyed, and when you could feel the coolness of the device used to check residents for the cordyceps infection along your neck, you turned around, looking up at the officer. “You fuckin’ serious right now? Is this really necessary?”

“Absolutely, sweetheart. We’re doing this by the book.”

He had scanned the three of your necks, one by one. Just as Joel started trying to reason with the officer again.

Once he got to Ellie, it all went by in a blur. She had stabbed the officer in the knee in one swift movement with her knife.

“Fuckin’ bitch!”

Joel was already standing protectively in front of Ellie, his hands raised as the soldier pointed the barrel of the machine gun at him.

“We can fix this!”

“Get out of the fuckin’ way. Move!” The soldier demanded

Joel could already hear the ringing in his ears, his heart rate quickening. Sarah’s distant screams filled his mind. The bullets, her body tumbling, her blood, the bullets, her body tumbling, her blood, the bullets—the bullets—the bullets—

Suddenly, Joel lunged, tackling the officer to the damp ground with a loud grunt. His fists collided into the soldier's face, over and over again. The bullets, her body tumbling, her blood, the bullets, her body tumbling, her blood, the bullets, Sarah—baby girl, I have to get you up—Tommy, help me!

Joel continued to throw punches, he had completely blacked out from rage. The trauma of the night he lost his baby girl, took over his senses. There was no stopping him. Each time his fist collided with the soldier's face, you could hear the sickening crack of bone, blood spurting, the soldier’s pained grunts.

You knew what your man was capable of. It came as no shock, but you hadn’t seen him this feral before.

Ellie stood behind the scene, watching in disbelief. Her eyes held no fear. Each punch Joel threw, awakened something in her. To see someone go this far in lengths to defend her? It was something she had never experienced before. No one had ever protected her like this before. She loved it.

When Joel finally came to his senses, he was breathing heavily over the deceased soldier. His eyes were dark, pupils dilated. His knuckles were severely bruised and coated in thick crimson. He looked over his shoulder at you, then at Ellie and Tess.

The device on the ground had turned red. Ellie was the last to be checked—no, it couldn’t be. She wasn’t infected. Why the fuck would Marlene entrust you with an infected kid? There must be some mistake.

“No no! I’m not sick! I’m not sick! Please, I’m not sick!”

“JOEL!” Tess yelled, holding up the device.

“I’m not sick! I’m not sick!” Ellie pleaded, pulling the sleeve of her shirt up to reveal her bite mark. Even in the dark, it looked different than the typical bite marks you had seen.

“Look! Look! This is three weeks old! I swear! Nobody lasts more than a day!”

You moved in front of Tess, grabbing the teens arm as you quickly inspected her bite mark in disbelief.

“When did this happen?!” Tess demanded.

“It doesn’t fucking matter! You have to trust me! Please! Please trust me!” Ellie begged.

“That’s enough, Tess! That’s enough! We have to get going, right now! They’re gonna catch us if we don’t run!”

You looked over at Joel, who was observing his bloodied up knuckles, you could see his trembling from where you stood. “Joel? Joel! We have to move, now!” You walked over to him in a haste, placing your hand on his shoulder. “We have to go right fuckin’ now, baby! C’mon!”

He snapped his head up towards you, understanding what you were saying. He stood up, grabbing the deceased soldier's machine gun, and strapped it over his shoulder, using his good hand to urge you forward, towards the opening in the perimeter fence. “Go, baby! I’m right behind you darlin’! Right behind you!”

A loud crack of thunder boomed overhead as the sirens wailed in the distance. The four of you had slipped through the hole in the metal fence, just as the skies opened up once more. Blinding you with a torrential downpour from the heavens.

Radio turns on, static. “Never Let Me Down Again” by Depeche Mode starts playing.

80’s mean trouble; Bill and Frank.

The four of you quickly ran through the fallen city, Joel by your side, and Ellie and Tess in the front. You glanced at each other momentarily as you ran. Even through the pouring rain, and whipping wind, you held eye contact for a fleeting moment.

Chapter 15:

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gizkasparadise · 5 months

Text

2023 wrapped: cdrama edition!

taking a page from @dangermousie and doing an overview of all the cdramas i watched this year (i'll do one for kdramas later)! listed in order of least favorite to most favorite. favorite =/= objectively best/most well-made. just the ones i had the most fun watching.

15 have a crush on you. oh dear lord. this drama should be a case study for what happens when a bad drama has charismatic actors and they keep you trapped hostage. i watched this whole damn thing hating every minute of it on behalf of the poor female lead who definitely deserved better. the ending? absolutely batshit, and not in a fun way. one of the weirdest, worst endings ive seen since with you

14 back from the brink. too kitschy for me, i didn't last long on this one (i think 2 eps lol).

13 gone with the rain. i wanted to like this one because i love sean sun and troll general is exactly what i want out of life. but i didn't like the weird daydream asides, constant animal noise sound effects, and i found everyone kind of off-putting in a non-watchable way, so i peaced out really quick--ep 4ish

12 here we meet again. i love janice wu. i continue to try out her dramas hoping for something to grab me again. this one was pretty boring/too focused on the work element and not the rest of it.

11 exclusive fairytale. i have a secret weakness for youth-to-working-life dramas, so tried this one out. flat, not a lot of chemistry, and very color-by-numbers. the show was clearly made to vehicle jun, and that's okay, but not my thing

10 the starry love. i wanted to like this one because the side characters were fun and i loved the male lead/prince of heaven and all his awkward "please leave by 9" energy. but it bored me overall and unlike most folks i had no interest in the demon secondary ship. i dropped around ep 10

9 my journey to you. it kills me to rank this one so low because it was my most anticipated cdrama this year, but i just couldn't get into it. the pacing was too slow for me, and i couldn't stand how everyone talked to each other (long. pauses. and then. staring. and then. whispers. always the. whispers). i dropped this around midway

8 the love you give me. the chemistry between the leads was cute and it was a decent modern romance. started losing me around the midpoint when the paternity reveal hit and the ML got way into boundary crossing because of it

7 circle of love. objectively not a good drama. in fact, a toxic and batshit drama that has probably made me a worse person for watching it. but gd did my messy ass enjoy the trainwreck.

6 road home. you really got to be in the mood for this one, but it's a nice, understated and slow melo romance. but def not a bingeable show since it takes its time with everything

5 wonderland of love. another drama that i dont think is objectively great, but two competent schemers/martial artists trying to one-up each other is like ship catnip for me and this was a show that lived or died by its ship. surprisingly tame for the screenwriter, and had a happy ending! popcorn watch.

4 till the end of the moon. me and this drama were in a bad romance, which i suppose is thematically appropriate. i hated parts of it, i was super invested in others. the post-dream human arc was giving wuthering heights tragic obsession incredibleness. even with its flaws, i think most of cdramaland is in agreement that lyx/tantai jin stole the ML competition this year. great gowns, beautiful gowns

3 story of kunning palace. i adored the characters in this drama! even when the plot was losing my interest, everyone was cast so well and had so much charisma that i stayed pretty hooked from ep 10ish on. absolutely loved the mean high school theatre director wreck that was xie wei, as well as the other (imo) true love interest of the show, princess leyang. the desperate speech about being like iron is gonna live rent-free in my head

& then 1&2 are way ahead of the others for me this year/a very close race between them!

2 a journey to love. i love this drama so much!!! i have not skipped or speed watched a single scene which for me is a huge feat! great character work across the board -- even the side characters have a lot of nuance and interesting dynamics between them. beautiful fight scenes. great ost. one of the best, most balanced main couples ive seen in a show. it's gonna break my heart in a few eps when it ends, but i'll be happy about it

1 lost you forever (s1). this drama came out of NOWHERE and the vicegrip it had on me while it was airing!!! my favorite FL this year (although a journey to love's ruyi is a close second), and just a ton of fun while also being quietly devastating in parts. i loved how lived in and tired the FL felt, enjoyed the various flavors of mess from her love interests, and enjoyed how extra it could go while still giving us really grounded and complicated characters. this drama gets extra points for converting me on several actors i did not think that highly of before the show.

overall, despite how many i dropped (lol writing it out made me realize i dropped so, so many), cdramas delivered for me this year! my top two are on my short list for favorite dramas, period. everyone go watch a journey to love and lost you forever if you havent yet!!!

AWARDS

Favorite ship: definitely goes to ruyi and yuanzhou from a journey to love. it's just nice to see a couple that mutually supports each other's murders

Favorite FL: xiaoyao from lost you forever with ruyi from journey to love as a very close runner-up. i am here for this year's theme of competent, jaded ladies trying to reclaim their lives

Favorite ML: objectively, tantai jin from till the end of the moon should win this, but story of kunning palace's xie wei was just so entertainingly grumpy, petty, and unhinged which is a winning combo for me.

Favorite 2FL: princess yang ying from a journey to love. she's doing amazing and im proud of her!!

Favorite 2ML: technically third male lead, but xiang liu from lost you forever was my favorite to watch and had the best tuxedo mask exits

Best Cast: a journey to love, i literally adore all of them, even the ones i hate

Best Blood Cough: tantai jin, you beautiful bastard who needs a bib

#cdrama #gizka 2023 wrapped

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lynpheas · 2 months

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vy my beloved big brained winx mutual you simply must ramble about the platonic winx/specialists dynamics i'm actually begging you </3 aldhgl

like,, which ones are your favorite and why! which ones do you want to see more of in canon! which ones are you definitely sure would be great but have zero canon evidence for (tecna helia dynamics my beloved ueghhhh)

THANK YOU FOR ASKING! YOU WILL RECEIVE!

i'm a huge huge huge sucker for platonic friendships and i think the biggest personal attack winx club canon has made on ME, vy lynpheas, is that they never really develop... platonic winx and specialist relationships ☹️ i haven't seen s1-3 in a long while but i just rewatched s4 and i'm wracking my brain trying to remember any platonic interactions between the winx and their non-boyfriend specialists. & i got nothing. when there was a 30 second interaction in s5 between sky and flora right before sky got amnesia, my 12 year old self thought about it for months i swear 😭

so i'm just gonna throw out a bunch of fun random pairings i like and how i think their friendship would work because my basic assumption is that EVERYONE is friends with EVERYONE because i want them to be!!!

(also i wrote most of this in oct 2023 and forgot about it but if anyone wants to ask me abt any more platonic pairings i would be so so so down 😭😭)

tecna & riven

okay this dynamic i have a lot of fun thinking about just bc tecna is musa's roommate so she deals with riven on a diff level than the other girls

i think esp early tecna would tend to make snap judgments of people & she immediately thinks riven is like. rude and immature and so everything he does after that point is framed through that lens. & i think riven is primarily motivated by his emotions (at least in terms of his interpersonal relationships) and tecna who is more "logic" based so she doesn't really understand why he acts the way he does. (i put logic in quotes because i do think tecna is biased toward her feelings when it comes to interpersonal relationships, but she sorta confirmation biases herself into thinking her judgment is more factual) & so i think their relationship begins as being vaguely antagonistic/indifferent (ie tecna making snarky comments to the side and riven being like. offended but kinda writing it off by acting like he just doesn't care about tecna), especially because she doesn't see why musa would like such a jerk and thinks musa deserves better.

then i think because of proximity and just facing a lot of mortally perilous conflict together, tecna begins to respect/sympathize with riven a lot more as a strategist because riven is actually like. pretty contemplative about his next moves, and she sees how his abrasive personality obfuscates that and leads to the specialist squad initially just. bulldozing over his ideas bc they're like "oh riven's just an asshole all the time let's go with sky's plan." and i think riven begins to really appreciate and respect tecna's tactical skills but also be slightly envious of how the winx do rely on tecna and trust her judgment. and he tries to learn from her approach: more levelheaded suggestions rather than condescending/combative remarks to express his ideas.

& i think riven's really good friends with timmy (they might be roommates in s1? i don't know if i made that up tho) so when tecna starts showing up more often & he can tell she's very important to timmy, riven makes an effort to be less rude and standoffish toward her, although still awkward. i think this is what especially shatters tecna's preconceptions about riven bc besides her relationship with timmy, he doesn't have any real reason to make nice with her -- especially after she's been pretty rude to him about him and musa.

and then they become pretty decent friends! maybe not super emotionally intimate, but they like, advocate for each other. tecna really utilizes riven's skillsets in her plans and makes sure he isn't overlooked & riven gets more protective over tecna bc he's like. this girl is smart and capable. and even when they don't always see eye-to-eye, she's very kind in her own non-traditional way.

musa & timmy

between riven and tecna, musa sees a Lot of timmy. i think as riven and tecna stop being as icy with one another, the four of them hang out as a group a lot. musa can kinda be the odd one out at times, because tecna and timmy can technobabble together a lot but if they veer into. hovercrafts or battle strategy riven and tecna can get Really into it with each other bc they agree on enough to not argue but have enough strong contrasting opinions to have very spirited conversations. so musa can kinda sit back and watch as timmy gets ousted from the convo and they have solidarity in that LMAO

they're both very chill and timmy is just. super curious about all of musa's hobbies and interests bc he doesn't know Anything abt music or anything. & i feel like timmy is an edm/techno/trap kinda guy & i hc that musa freelance djs at clubs and parties. so timmy is like fascinated by the mechanics of all of that and musa loves talking about music in any capacity so they reach common ground through that. and in turn musa gets interested in like, hovercraft mechanic convos and videogame lore that also helps musa better connect with riven and tecna!!

& i think these conversations evolve into. timmy tagging along with musa to raves LOL like they party it UP together!!! like timmy is pretty self-conscious and awkward at first, but musa really shows him that dancing/enjoying music isn't about how you look or acting cool -- it's just about having fun. and it really brings him out of his shell. timmy's got his white boy dance moves!!! riven goes to musa's shows sometimes but edm gives him a headache and most of the girls like to party but they're not into the subculture at all so they're not consistent participants. but timmy is a yes-man! he always wants to come!

& timmy and musa get fairly close because of this! timmy is such a huge hype man and occasional technician for musa and musa knows she can always rely on timmy to show up for her! and they just learn a lot from each other!

plus because they're both close with the other's respective partners, they like to go to the other for relationship advice because they'll get some unique insight into the problems they're facing. timmy is a huge riven-is-just-misunderstood advocate and musa knows tecna's ins and outs.

musa & timmy besties agenda <3 like i really really just love the idea of their friendship

aisha & riven

this is the only non-romantically involved winx/specialist combo i had actual recollection of interacting before i did my rewatch tbh. or i guess also riven and bloom. riven is just a very notable character LMFAO

anyways, aisha is hyper-independent and riven is prickly and easy to misjudge so. aisha doesn't fuck with him very much at first BUT when she comes into the winx's life she didn't firsthand experience riven double-crossing them w the trix. so she's an asshole to him for like. "i think you're kind of a loser and i don't like men that much in general" reasons instead of "you have personally wronged me" reasons. she challenges him to petty stuff because she likes poking the bear and she finds it kind of entertaining to see him get annoyed and want to prove himself for the sake of his ego, but eventually she just starts genuinely thinking that riven's a pretty decent guy. like, he never tries to undermine her for her skills, he just wants to match and surpass her. and he simultaneously respects her authority but also respects her enough to disagree with her and involve her in certain decisions, where she's used to having to put her foot down to assert herself.

at first riven really just. does not care that there's a new winx girl bc besides musa and maybe bloom they're all kinda the same to him. but then aisha is just kinda mean to him and temporarily hogs his hoverbike so he starts actively disliking her but underneath it all begrudgingly respects her. THEN he finds out she and musa are getting really close and she's actually a princess and he sees her put sky in his place over smth that wouldve irritated the fuck out of riven privately -- and he just starts to really like and respect her.

at first, aisha just likes to aggravate riven bc she initially thinks he's kind of standoffish and takes himself too seriously. so they'll be walking with the group and she'll all of a sudden be like "bet i can reach that tree faster than you" and riven's like "what are you talking about" "so you know you're gonna lose?" "uh, fuck no, you're on" and suddenly they're sprinting past everyone else and leaving them in the dust. but aisha tends to win these little competitions and eventually after she starts genuinely liking riven, she gets bored of trying to get a rise out of him. but riven still thinks she's cool asf and wants her to realize that he's actually Not A Loser so he's the one that ends up instigating more often.

their friendship is mostly characterized by them just. egging each other on. bet you can't do more hoverboard tricks than me. bet you can't do a backflip on the spot. bet you can't tell musa you haven't listened to her mixtape yet. bet you can't let stella give you a makeover. bet you can't swing from that vine across that canyon. holy shit riven ur lucky i have wings otherwise you would've died. nah i knew i could trust you.

like honestly riven is basically just aisha and tecna's kid brother. with aisha specifically he just rly wants to prove himself to her lmfao. little does he know, aisha already thinks he's cool but she will never ever ever tell him that.

stella & sky

so canonically stella has probably never met sky before red fountain in order to be able to pull off the whole name-switch situation, but i think it'd be fun if they had at least some awareness of each other before going to school from being the royals of their respective realms. like you can't tell me they've never attended the princess balls of some realm that's mutually allied with eraklyon and solaria! if anything, as his squire, brandon and sky must've always attended events together and been so close/tight-knit that a lot of people weren't exactly sure who was who, just that the duo themselves were sky and his squire. (because sky also barely looks like his parents lmfao)

i like to think that stella is extremely put off by sky for multiple reasons, including that he ultimately fucked up her relationship and completely broke bloom's trust. and pettily she sorta vows to make sure solaria and eraklyon never have good relations ever again. sky's like. well, can't let that happen + i need to be on stella's good side for the sake of brandon/bloom

and i think this results in him just like !! slowly trying to initiate a relationship with stella, like if he agrees with her about something he'll go out of his way to make it known he agrees with her. and just making comments and stuff to get on her good side

and stella sees right thru this lmfao she's like ok... i see your game... and i don't respect it... but she fully just leans into it and if sky is saying some kind of affirmative to an outrageous idea she has she's just like ok bet. put your money where your mouth is

which is how sky ends up in a lot of ridiculous situations because of stella like maybe during a mission stella suggests going down a path everyone else is hesitant about, and sky is also hesitant but he doesn't necessarily DISagree with her so he loudly corroborates her plan and then. it's just the two of them who get sent down that path and then get fucking eaten by a venus flytrap monster or smth idk. or sky ends up being stella's mannequin for like 12 hours straight while she figures out draping. or he ends up accompanying her to a stuffy ball where everyone around her is condescending her

and then eventually they'll just have more and more moments where they're spending time together like one on one and theyre like???? hey we actually do have a lot in common because of our upbringings and we can give each other diff perspectives about how to deal with the expectations that were imposed on us growing up

like stella has reacted to being in the spotlight as a princess by being aggressively and unapologetically herself. shes not afraid of fucking up but shes like inifinitely empathetic and kindhearted. sky is kinda the opposite where he's always tried to mold himself into expectations and really lean into this idea of being a leader-prince charming type guy. and basically they teach each other how to Be A Royal in a way that allows them to be their truest selves. like sky helps stella figure out how to use Royalty Etiquette and Rules to get her way and stella helps sky figure out how to let loose and not be so bogged down by duty all the time

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