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blackholelynn · 2 years

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Your Protection - Part Seven

<- Read Part Six

Summary: You work as a cashier in a small convenience store, and your days are completely, painfully normal. After a particularly bad run-in with a rude customer, your life gets flipped upside down, and the only one who you can count on ends up being a complete stranger – Dean Winchester.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of drowning, loss/grief, rude/abusive customer interaction, swearing – these warnings are for this series of parts as a whole, so while some of these warnings may not apply on this part, they will apply for future parts

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: It's hard to believe, but we're at the end! I had only planned for 7 parts of this, but I'm already starting the planning for the sequel. I can't say when it will be done due to irl responsibilities I've had lately, but I hope to have it finished as soon as possible! Thank you all so much for reading!! 🥰

(also very sorry for the last part not being uploaded on Sunday, the previously mentioned irl responsibilities have been kicking my ass a bit lol)

Series Tag List: @leigh70

Supernatural Tag List: @hobby27

Also cross-posted to my AO3 account, you can read it here!

~~~

The motel room was silent as the two brothers packed their belongings into their bags. Another hunt was done, another monster was killed, but there was no celebration. Instead, Sam kept a wary eye on his older brother, who was white-knuckling everything he picked up, throwing it harshly into his bag.

“You know, we could stay–”

Dean interrupted his brother, turning to give him a severe glare. “Don’t. Don’t do the whole Sam thing where you try and make me talk it out.”

“Dean, she almost died for this hunt! The least we can do is stay until we know she’s better.” Sam’s packing was wholly forgotten, his attention entirely focused on his brother, who seemed to be near ready to crack. “She’s called you four times.”

“I know,” Dean answered, his voice cracking. He turned back to throw more clothes into the duffel sitting at the end of his bed, trying to ignore Sam’s frustratingly imploring gaze. Sometimes his brother’s sincerity made him that much more punchable. Right now, it was the last thing he needed. The guilt was already eating away at him, and he didn’t need it anymore. “The best thing for her is for us to get as far away as possible.”

Sam sat down on the edge of his own bed, scoffing at Dean’s pitiful excuse. “And you think that she can have a normal life if we do that? She practically threw herself into hunting, so you’d be an idiot to think she’d stop even if we go.” He stared at his brother’s back for a moment, expecting an answer, but one never came. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“This isn’t about me.”

“Bull.”

“Sam, she was almost killed because we didn’t get it right. We leave, and maybe she goes back to working the register at that place. She meets some new friends…a guy.” Dean’s entire body was tense, and he slung his duffel bag over his shoulder. “She doesn’t know how to look for cases, so there’s no reason she would keep hunting.”

Sam’s brows furrowed, but he could see he would get nowhere with this argument. The only thing he could do was finish packing and hope that this wouldn’t make Dean fall into a self-pity spiral for the next month. Dean moved towards the door, not sparing Sam another word or glance. However, he stopped in his tracks when he opened the door.

You stood in the doorway, your fist raised mid-knock, and when you saw him, it instead formed an accusatory finger that you harshly pointed into his chest. “What the hell, Dean?!”

“What…?” He was speechless. You were the last person he expected to be busting down his door, especially in your condition. It was apparent that you were barely back to full strength. Your skin was still deathly pale, your eyes glassy, but there you stood, filled with fury. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ll load the car,” Sam quickly said, rushing past the two of you and out the door.

You forced yourself further into the motel room, making Dean step back further if he didn’t want you to run right into him. “I wake up in the hospital, and you’re nowhere to be found. I call, no answer. Hell, the nurse didn’t even know who had dropped me off. So I come here to find out what the hell is wrong with you, and you’re leaving ?” Your chest heaved with the effort of yelling at him, but you continued nonetheless, completely unable to restrain yourself. “I lied to a detective just to cover your asses so that you weren’t suspects, and yet you’re already one foot out the door.”

“I’m sor–”

“Does it look like I’m even close to done?!” As you continued verbally ripping into him, you’d unwittingly backed him further and further into the room until the back of his knees hit the edge of his bed. However, you were on the warpath, and he had to resign himself to sitting on the foot of his bed, waiting until you were done with your tirade. “You arrogant, selfish ass ! I know why you’re trying to avoid me, and it’s a stupid reason.”

Dean’s chest puffed with some indignation, and he crossed his arms. “Oh, your life is a stupid reason? Because everything that I told you would happen did happen! You almost died!”

“Tell yourself what you want, Dean. I’m not stupid, and the drowning sure as hell didn’t cause brain damage. You’re leaving because you’re scared.”

“Scared?” Now it was Dean’s turn to stand up, but you didn’t back down. You were chest to chest, and his face was only a few inches from your own as he returned your aggressive tone. “Clearly, you don’t know anything about me because it takes more than a damn nixie to scare me.”

The angry response died in your throat as you took in how close the two of you were, and your eyes scanned his face. Surely whatever had been there before wasn’t completely gone, and you just needed to know. Waking up in the hospital room alone had felt like whiplash, and now your emotions were entirely out of whack.

Finally, you managed to find your voice again, and what came out was more dejected than angry. “I woke up alone, and all I could think about was what happened to you. You say that you’re worried about me, but you never once thought about how I would feel.” You swiped away the rogue tear that escaped and looked into his eyes; a frown settled onto your lips. “How worried about you I would be. How scared I would be with you gone. I mean, what was the point of the coffee shop, of comforting me after my nightmare, if you were just going to leave? I had my own grief to work through, my own issues. I didn’t need the extra confusion on top of it.”

“That wasn’t…” Dean trailed off, his brows furrowing as he looked down at you. Clearly, you’d stumped him. He sighed, “I never meant to hurt you.”

“Well, you did.”

“You won’t have to worry about me much longer.”

He went to walk past you, but you quickly grabbed onto the lapels of his jacket, tugging him to you. You don’t know what had gotten into you, but before you could think better of it, you kissed him. It was rough and awkward with your noses bumping, your chin knocking with his. It only lasted a moment before you broke away, but Dean wasted no time closing the distance again, bringing you back to him with a hand at the nape of your neck. The second kiss was much less rushed, but the desperation was palpable. The hand that gripped your waist was almost bruising with how much he clung to you.

When you stopped to gasp for air, you managed to wheeze out, “I want to worry about you, and I want to give whatever this is a try. I didn’t come here just to chew you out. I also came to make you stay.”

“I can’t stay.” Dean’s forehead fell against your own, and his eyes were gloomy. “Sam and I…this is our life. We hunt, and then we move on.”

“Then I want to come with you.” You saw him object before he could even get the words out, and you silenced him with another short peck, whispering against his lips, “Unless you can honestly tell me there’s nothing here between us, then I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Dean stalled, clearly irritated by the ultimatum you’d just given him. “You know there is.”

“Then there shouldn’t be an issue.”

“What about your apartment? Your job? You have a life here, and you’re just going to up and leave?”

“Yep,” you answered simply, a small smile on your face. “My life here is contingent on an apartment where I live alone and a job I hate. It’s not a hard ask.”

He paused, seemingly considering it. You could see the cogs of his mind turning, trying to think about it, and you knew if he thought about it too much, he’d psyche himself out – again. So you let go of your grip on his jacket, moving your hands up his chest and over his shoulders, finally allowing them to settle at the nape of his neck to play with his hair.

When you placed an open-mouthed kiss on the junction where his jaw met his neck, he groaned, “That’s not fair. This is bribery.”

“All you do is complain and complain,” you teased, placing a quick nip in the same place. “I’m getting impatient for your answer, so hurry it up.”

“Okay,” he answered, putting his hands on your hips to gently push you away and end your playful assault. “You can come with us.”

Your face lit up. Although you had been hoping, deep down, you hadn’t expected him to relent. You thought his stubbornness would win out in the end, and you’d only have these last few days to remember. You threw yourself back at him, wrapping him into an embrace as tears fell down your cheeks.

He held you tightly as you continued to cry into the crook of his shoulder. “Happy tears?”

“Happy tears,” you confirmed. “And Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“If you ever do this shit again, I’ll kick your ass.”

“I’d love to see you try,” he chuckled.

You helped him with the last few things he needed to pack and then headed out to the car. Sam was still standing by the trunk when you exited the room, and he grinned when he saw you by Dean’s side. The Impala’s trunk was still open, waiting for Dean’s duffel to be placed inside where it belonged. You wondered if you would get your own duffel after a while.

When Dean closed the trunk, Sam turned to you with an apprehensive look. “So, you think you’ll be alright here without us?”

“Oh, I don’t know how I’ll manage. I’ll struggle every day!” You melodramatically clutched at your chest, faking despair. “Without my heroes, I will be forced to be verbally assaulted in the chip aisle! Nay, I will crumble under pressure and become a shut-in!”

“Alright, drama queen.” Dean rolled his eyes as he steered you away from Sam and the trunk and opened the back door of the Impala for you. “Get in before I change my mind.”

You kissed him on the cheek and got in the car, smirking. “You know you love it.”

Dean got into the car, ignoring Sam’s bewildered expression, and motioned over to the passenger seat. “You just gonna stand there or what?”

Sam snapped out of it and scrambled into the passenger seat, still completely shocked. You caught his eyes flicking back towards your face in the rearview mirror before looking back at Dean. You both ignored it as Dean started the Impala, the engine turning over loudly.

As you left the city limits, you couldn’t help the grin that was plastered on your face while you watched the speeding scenery outside the window. By no means were you through any of the grief or the trauma of the last few days, but on the open road with the Winchesters, you started to feel like things were falling into place for you. Thinking about the days ahead no longer filled you with insurmountable dread. At that moment, you felt okay, and that was all that you needed.

You were going to be okay.

~~~

The sequel to this series is out now! Read it on AO3 or...

Click here to read the first part of His Salvation on Tumblr ->

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bylroos · 1 year

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when i was younger (ages 4-8, at its peak) i was obsessed with the concept of being a teenager. my aunt, who i say now is only 12 years older than me, did a lot of my babysitting around then, and i was obsessed with her, and her teenager-hood. and i remember how every time, after getting a single scrape or bruise, i would go to her and tell her it hurt. and until she did her magic teenager kiss on the wound it wouldn’t feel any better. i was enamored with the concept of being a teen—when i played pretend with my sister, instead of doing magical fantasy adventures, we would pretend like we were teenagers in high school. i spent my first decade planning my entire prom outfit down to the rings i would wear, i knew exactly where i wanted to work part-time, and i knew exactly what type of car i was going to buy with the money i saved (a pearly white volkswagen beetle).

my teenage years were some of the worst years of my life. from the time i started high school to the time i turned twenty, it’d take more than two hands to count the times i legitimately planned to end my life. only two fingers to count how many times i’d come within hours of executing my plans. one finger to count how many times (and how many weeks) i spent in the psych hospital after the second time. my teenage years weren’t only sad and pitiful, but they also weren’t what i had envisioned at all. i never went to prom (got dumped by my friends 72 hours before the event), never got the job i had wanted as a child (a waitress at one specific dive bar; although i did end up becoming a barista, which i think i enjoyed doing more than i would’ve my initial plan) and i never got that dream car (i no longer want a beetle, i haven’t for a decade, and i am beyond happy i still have my outback nearing on two decades old). my teenage years were nothing but a disappointment. to me. and to the people around me.

but god. i’m barely 21 now. barely even in my twenties. i have decades upon decades upon decades left to live my life. i’m stressed, and miserable, and going through the nightmare that is medic school, but i also haven’t thought of killing myself in over a year. haven’t self harmed for longer than that. i can see myself getting better. see myself getting stronger. i have so much freedom now, and i know i’ll have so much joy soon too. what i thought i’d have in my teenage years, i don’t have yet, but i know i will soon. i live in an apartment in a city i had never even thought of as a kid and i’m something close to happy. i can see happy on the horizon. i still drive my 20 yr old car and i wouldn’t change her for the world. i can carry the past with me, carry what i thought the future would be with me, that hope, that optimism and use it to build my own path, a path that has strayed so far off the one i had built for myself, but a path i don’t find myself regretting going down nonetheless.

i’m not a teenager anymore, no, and i can’t say i’m not glad for that. but what i can say is that whatever my childhood self wanted to get out of my teenage years, it’s not too late to make happen. just because i didn’t get something when i wanted it doesn’t mean i won’t get it at all. just because i wasn’t happy then doesn’t mean i can’t be happy now.

#idk what this us #i’m having a moment i guess????#turning 21 has made me so introspective #i didnt accomplish anything younger me wantwd me to in high school #and yet i’m okay with that #i’m okay with how things have turned out #i’m still stressed and frustrated and barely making progress on loving myself but.#i’ll get there.#i know i will #personal

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punkscowardschampions · 15 days

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Ruster pt.5

Rio: good thing everyone else will be off their face and we don’t have to hide

Buster: What are you waiting for? You have bubbles to hide behind if you start to get shy

Rio: I’m not shy at all, that’s the problem

Buster: So tell me everything

Rio: Give me everything in front of your friends

Buster: I’ve got nothing to hide

Rio: There’s nothing stopping us

Buster: You can have it all, birthday girl

Rio: Can we have a party together, one year

Buster: Why not next? I don’t have anything planned yet

Rio: Sweet 16

Buster: The sweetest if I share with you

Rio: I’m sure Nance wants her own

Buster: I couldn't care less what she wants anyway

Rio: Me either

Rio: I want you and I deserve you more

Buster: I’m really proud of you for thinking like that

Rio: I thought you might be

Rio: It’s just the truth at this point

Buster: The truth is, I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on by you than I am at this point, fuck

Rio: What about it turns you on most?

Buster: I can tell you mean it, you aren’t just saying what you know I want to hear

Rio: That’s only acceptable if you’re not going to meet the person

Rio: I have no intentions of breaking promises like that with you

Buster: You seriously do want what I want

Rio: All of it

Buster: Say it again

Rio: I deserve you and you deserve me

Buster: Jesus, Rio

Rio: You know you’d rather my name was paired with yours when people talked

Buster: They won’t shut up when I give you mine and we’re paired for real

Rio: Would you do that?

Buster: As soon as we’re old enough for me to properly make you mine

Rio: Is it even possible, like, legally

Rio: I just assumed no

Buster: We can and I will

Rio: You know you’re the father of my children, no matter what any law says

Buster: There’s no law against us, in this country or yours

Rio: You’re probably right, it just seems like that shouldn’t be true, can’t be

Buster: But I am right and it is

Buster: How many children do you want?

Rio: You can’t expect me to be sensible when I need you this much

Buster: I didn’t ask for a sensible answer, I asked for the answer

Rio: As many as we can fit in

Buster: We owe it to them, and the future, that they’re all allowed to exist

Rio: Your genetics are too good to use sparingly

Buster: They’ll each grow up to be as flawless as you, in every way you are, and I’ll get to be a proud daddy constantly

Rio: That’s why I’ve only ever pictured you

Buster: Let yourself actually picture it right now

Rio: I might cry

Rio: You’re good with kids

Buster: Nobody’s as good as you

Rio: You’ve not even been trying

Rio: We’ll be the best team

Buster: If you want to see me try, I’ll borrow your sister and show you

Rio: That’s probably a dangerous idea

Rio: for multiple reasons

Buster: Live dangerously, play mummies and daddies with me

Rio: Fuck

Rio: Okay, when you’re here, I’ll hold you to it

Buster: Good, I’ll hold the baby

Rio: She’s not got much of a schedule but her feeding one yet but we could take her for a walk

Buster: And go on another shopping trip, even if she isn’t allowed to come

Rio: Even the local supermarkets a trek too far for her, you remember where I live

Buster: I’ll order cars for us, nowhere’s too far when you pay to overcompensate for the distance

Rio: She’ll get ideas

Buster: She’s playing the role of our kid, she should have ideas

Rio: I wanna spoil them but I don’t want them to be spoilt

Buster: They aren’t going to turn into Nance, don’t worry

Rio: She’s not the only example I can think of but

Buster: You said it, together we’ll be the best at this

Rio: And they’ll always have us both

Buster: We’ll always be a family, all of us

Rio: I’m glad Maggie will have her dad around

Buster: Me too

Buster: last time I shopped for a baby was to send presents to Violette

Rio: Poor little thing

Buster: Hopefully he’ll take better care of her than he did her mother

Rio: I don’t know how the pregnancy occurred

Rio: She’s always been sick

Buster: I don’t want to think about it, what kind of man does that mean he is? It’s fucked up

Rio: She would’ve had to get herself to a level of ‘well’

Rio: maybe he thought the surface level of all that ran deeper, I don’t know

Buster: My mum still isn’t doing well with it, that’s what I know

Rio: Of course not

Buster: I hate seeing her like this, there should be something I can do, but there isn’t

Rio: Tell me about it

Buster: No, forget I said it, this downer isn’t what we’re supposed to be on

Rio: It’s okay, that’s reality

Buster: Everything we want is going to be a reality too, we’ll be better than okay

Rio: Or are we just fantasizing, to not have to think about how fucked reality is right now

Buster: Fantasies turn into reality, mine repeatedly have today

Rio: Some can

Buster: Ours do

Rio: You’re sweet

Buster: I’m serious

Rio: I know you are

Buster: You know I’m fully committed, I’ll buy you a ring as a promise

Rio: You will not

Rio: I’m not doubting your commitment

Buster: Then why not? You can wear it until we’re old enough to get engaged

Rio: Because it’s actually your birthday and where am I going to say I’ve got that from if I start wearing it every day?

Buster: Who’ll notice? You already wear other jewellery every day

Rio: The stuff I wear every day means something

Buster: Yeah, but who’s keeping track of each piece besides you? Come on, baby, don’t you think we could get away with this?

Rio: I mean, maybe

Buster: And don’t you want to?

Rio: You know I want to

Buster: You can belong to me in front of everyone, mine in plain sight

Rio: Jesus, okay, okay

Rio: but you’re not allowed to get mad at whatever lie I have to come up with if anyone does notice, yeah

Buster: I’ll behave

Rio: When are we getting it?

Buster: At the airport, we can’t wait

Rio: You can’t wait

Buster: Don’t pretend you aren’t soaking wet at the thought of it

Rio: You know me so well

Buster: Whenever your ring catches the light you’ll have to bite your tongue, I’ll know that from across the room

Rio: Why are you across the room from me?

Buster: Because I’m pouring you a [her fave drink]

Rio: As long as you’re having [his fave] too

Buster: Cheers

Rio: Slainte when you’re here, please

Buster: I’m not going to say that, babe

Rio: You’re some Irish too, come on now

Buster: I look and sound enough like a tourist to everyone who doesn’t realise I am without adding in phrases

Rio: Stick with me, you’ll be grand

Buster: We’ll both be grander if we stick to our own accents

Rio: Play with me, babe

Buster: My costume isn’t parrot, and you weren’t complaining about how my voice sounded earlier

Rio: IF you dressed up as a parrot, I might struggle to find you sexy

Buster: Well, don’t dare me or I’ll have to, and I’d struggle to sort any new costume this last minute

Rio: Very mature

Rio: You’re not being dared, please put down the feathers

Buster: I told you before, I can think of much better uses

Rio: Remind me

Buster: [ramble on about suggestively tickling her entire body with a feather in great detail, really taking his time to discuss every part of it in turn which I cba]

Rio: You are all I feel, Buster

Rio: I’m all hot again like I’ve just ran this bath but it could be stone cold for all I realise

Buster: [also ramble on about other saucy uses for pillows, giving when y’all were fucking yours drunk at Christmas I think it was, or pushing her face into one to shh her etc etc, all those vibes and all those ideas]

Rio: I want to be your pillow

Buster: [ofc send her a pic of you spooning your pillow as if she was, extra sauciness cos you’re fresh out of the shower and still in a towel]

Rio: Your hair, your strong arms wrapped around me, your hands 🥺

Rio: I can feel it all

Buster: What does it feel like?

Rio: Safety, peace, love

Rio: Don’t call me a hippie, I mean it

Buster: I’ll give you all of those things, without waiting until I can call you my wife

Rio: You do

Buster: And more

Rio: If you do say so yourself

Rio: but I can’t disagree

Buster: I’m saying I swear to

Rio: You don’t have to write vows yet

Buster: I’ll tell my pillow then

Rio: Hey 😣

Buster: Practice makes perfect, remember

Rio: But

Rio: What am I going to do?

Buster: Think about your own

Rio: It’s a shame we’ve no bath crayons anymore

Buster: Don’t you have lipstick?

Rio: There’s probably one in here somewhere, hold on

Buster: I’ll wait for you to write my name all over your skin once you find one

Rio: I thought you wanted me to get clean 🤔

Buster: I don’t want you to forget both worlds are yours, you can have and do anything

Rio: Is that how you operate?

Buster: Don’t you know how I operate?

Rio: I know how you present yourself, how you want to be seen

Rio: the reality isn’t always that black and white

Buster: The reality is, you’ve seen through the bullshit for years

Rio: I know you

Rio: I like you, how you think

Buster: I’m glad you like me for my brain as well, babe

Rio: Nah, don’t get it twisted, this is entirely about your body, nothing else

Buster: Noted

Rio: Nerd

Buster: Brat

Rio: You’re gonna call me that like no big deal

Buster: Yeah, if you’re going to call me names

Rio: You like being a nerd

Buster: You like being a brat

Rio: I’m your good girl, aren’t I?

Buster: You tell me

Buster: Have you found a lipstick yet or not?

Rio: [send him a lil vid of you writing his name on your thigh]

Rio: Do you like the colour?

Buster: It looks unbelievable on you

Rio: It’ll look as stunning on you

Buster: True, keep it safe for me

Rio: I didn’t think you’d want to wear it like that but okay, honey

Buster: As I’ve said before, you’re hilarious

Rio: You could say it with a little more conviction, meanie

Buster: Your jokes could land better

Rio: I’m sorry, I’ve not had time to work on a comedy routine, like

Buster: Apologise with more conviction and I’ll consider accepting

Rio: I guess we’re even

Buster: [write her name on you in the same place, but with a pen because you don’t just have lipstick lying around, it’s giving fancy fountain pen though not biro obvs]

Buster: Now we’re even

Rio: Don’t get ink all over my PJs

Buster: They’re waiting for you under your pillow

Rio: [updated countdown]

Rio: I’m not bringing any

Buster: You’ll need the luggage space to take home your new outfits

Rio: Maybe I’ll bring a spare suitcase…

Buster: I’ll buy you another to spare you from having to drag along an empty one

Rio: You don’t need to

Buster: You don’t have to worry about bringing anything which isn’t essential

Rio: So, costume, an outfit for a shopping trip, what else?

Buster: Nothing else

Rio: You’ve got me covered?

Buster: Totally

Rio: That’s a nice thought

Rio: What am I getting your sister though?

Buster: Grab something from the airport, if she insists on coming with me she can pick out what she wants for herself

Rio: Hmm

Rio: Or, I could book her something that gets her out of the house, a spa appointment or I’ll see when she last got her nails done

Buster: Either/or

Rio: She’s not gonna invite me

Buster: Gossip is all she’s interested in and they’re ideal locations to, famously

Rio: I’m sure she’d rather take a friend, if she does ask, I’ll say that much

Buster: Good luck

Rio: You don’t think it’s a good idea?

Buster: I didn’t say that, in theory it’s a great idea

Rio: I will have to spend some time with her, it’s unavoidable

Buster: I know

Rio: I’ve got time to work on keeping my cool with her

Buster: I’ll help you

Rio: It’s not exactly your area of expertise, is it

Buster: Distracting you is

Rio: You can’t distract me when I’m talking to her

Buster: I always can

Rio: That’s the problem

Buster: You can handle it

Rio: It’s different now, I know so much more about you

Buster: We’ll be working together, that’s the difference

Rio: A team

Buster: I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine

Rio: Are you looking forward to your party now?

Buster: I’m looking forward to your costume reveal

Rio: I want to get it right for you

Buster: You won’t let me down

Rio: You’re going to love it, how it looks, how easy it is to touch me

Buster: I already love the sound of that

Rio: You’re going to like how long it takes you to get me ready too

Rio: though I think I’ll keep control of the makeup situation, no offence babe

Buster: None taken, except at your sense of humour

Rio: It’s no laughing matter, it’s an intricate look

Rio: I doubt your ability to focus on JUST my face for that long

Buster: I’ve told you before not to underestimate me

Rio: You love a challenge, I know, I know

Rio: but you’re not glowing me down so I look crap in front of all your mates

Buster: They’re no competition I wouldn’t bother to sink that low

Rio: Yeah, right

Rio: They’re obviously not mingers, boy

Buster: They’re obviously not me

Rio: Why would I come to hook up with anyone else now? I was talking about the girls

Buster: Why would I sabotage how you look regardless?

Rio: I don’t know because you have me all to yourself no matter what

Buster: Good, we can abandon the hypothetical

Rio: Don’t you like being jealous?

Buster: Jealous of who?

Rio: Whoever, that’s not the important bit

Buster: I don’t have anyone to be jealous of

Rio: Could have

Buster: No I couldn’t

Rio: Not a fantasy then

Buster: The best tend to be somewhat rooted in reality

Rio: You pick one then, tell me what’s actually gonna happen

Buster: Since you want me to make you jealous, that’s what’s going to happen

Rio: Easy

Buster: Yeah

Rio: I’ll be extra nice after

Rio: It’s still your birthday

Buster: Ours, you’ve forgotten again

Rio: It’s hard to remember

Rio: that any of this is real

Buster: The cold bath is probably making this feel even more like a daydream

Rio: More than a single top-up is taking the piss, like

Buster: Not when you get here

Rio: Now that’s luxury

Buster: And it’s real

Rio: I’ve just remembered I need my gym clothes too, another reality I’m looking forward to

Buster: I’d offer to add them to the shopping list, but I do remember liking how you described yours

Rio: They won’t take up any space

Buster: Barely

Rio: If we buy too much you can keep ‘em

Buster: I can’t wait for the jokes about wearing them

Rio: That’s no joke, you’d look too fine

Buster: The wrong kind of jealousy for you to fantasise about though

Rio: Oh, wow, bold

Rio: I didn’t say you’d look better than me

Buster: Neither did I, I’m arrogant instead of delusional

Rio: And you can never resist an opportunity to talk me up 🥰

Buster: I don’t waste opportunities, you know that

Rio: I’m thinking of every one we’re going to have

Buster: Me too

Rio: We’ve wasted too many to do it again, ever

Buster: That’s how I feel about jealousy, I have been of your exes for long enough

Rio: I don’t need you jealous

Rio: I just want you to want me, more than anything

Buster: I need you, don’t forget

Rio: I won’t

Rio: I’m going to keep you

Buster: Forever

Rio: You’re my boyfriend

Buster: I really am

Rio: I can’t stop saying it, it feels too good

Buster: Don’t, keep saying it

Rio: [send him a voice note]

Buster: [send her a good girl one back]

Rio: It’s better than my name, you can just call me that forever

Buster: Nothing’s better than your name

Rio: I said yours so much

Rio: remember?

Buster: It was unforgettable

Rio: As long as you’re the only one who can’t forget it, I didn’t think about volume even once

Buster: You’d be getting shouted at by now if anyone had heard

Rio: Maybe

Rio: The awkwardness might just stop that but nah, we’re safe, I’m sure

Rio: Anyone who’s here was downstairs

Buster: We are, and you’ll be here soon

Buster: [and an updated countdown]

Rio: I can’t promise not to say your name until then

Buster: Promise you aren’t going to stop saying my name until then

Rio: [send him that voice note, thankfully not being loud as hell in this moment]

Buster: Again

Rio: [more !!]

Buster: [obvs send her one back saying her name, simply must]

Rio: I need to get out of this bath, I’m shivering

Buster: Get back into bed

Rio: How do you say my name in a way no one else does

Buster: Because you’re special to me, how I feel about you no one else is going to

Rio: I’m your girl

Buster: You’re everything

Rio: I want you in this bed

Buster: I’ll be your pillow too, like you’ve been mine this entire time

Buster: [another pillow snuggling selfie that’s more dramatic than his earlier one]

Rio: [copying him to be like like this? Obviously you’ve put no clothes on but you’ve been strategic with your picture]

Buster: You’ll warm up in a second, baby

Rio: You look after me like no one else, Buster

Buster: I look after you how everyone else should, that’s all

Rio: I like that it’s you

Buster: I love taking care of you

Rio: It’s like you were made for it

Buster: It feels like I was

Rio: You’re so daddy it’s unreal

Buster: You couldn’t stop telling me that either

Rio: Because you need to hear it, keep being it, you love it and I love you

Buster: You love me

Rio: So much, it’s the third thought I had when I found out about everything

Buster: Normally I’d hate coming third

Rio: You can’t really expect higher given the circumstances, that’d be insanely selfish and awful of me

Buster: It’d be out of character for you, I’d assume that, given the circumstances, you were having some kind of breakdown

Rio: Don’t say that, I’m not chalking this down to a breakdown

Rio: if you want an out, get it yourself

Buster: What I said is I’m glad it isn’t, you’re still you and I’ll take third

Rio: You know how I feel about you

Buster: Yeah, you love me so much

Rio: And more and more if you don’t stop

Buster: I won’t

Buster: I want more

Rio: You can have everything, I want you to have it

Buster: Give it to me

Rio: No one can stop you taking what’s rightfully yours

Rio: what’s been waiting for you since [how old y’all were when you had your first kiss]

Buster: I’m breaking so many of my rules for you simply by being that patient

Rio: How patient do you think you’ve been, really?

Buster: I’ve waited years, you just said so

Rio: Waited doesn’t necessarily indicate patience

Buster: What else does it indicate?

Rio: Necessity, definitely

Buster: Exactly, patience was necessary

Buster: I’m not pretending I enjoyed having to

Rio: Good, I don’t think you fooled anyone on that score

Buster: I wasn’t trying

Rio: No one expected different from you, your age, who your parents are

Rio: you got to be an arsehole

Buster: I’ll fool everyone now that we both have something to gain from doing it

Rio: Nothing has to change, really, except you being slightly more willing to come to Dublin, for whatever reason

Buster: Because I’m being a supportive cousin, for obvious reasons

Rio: If there’s any time to drop the not caring bit, I suppose so

Buster: Nobody’ll question the timing, there’s that silver lining at least

Rio: I don’t wanna think of it that way, however practical

Buster: Of course you don’t

Rio: It’s wrong

Buster: I’m sorry

Rio: I started it but using any of this to our advantage is beyond fucked up, I don’t know how I had the nerve to

Buster: Wanting something good to come out of this isn’t fucked up

Rio: Yes it is, no one else gets anything good out of this, not Edie, Liam, Moses

Rio: why should I, of all people

Buster: Because you’re not them, you still have to find reasons to carry on, for their sakes, everyone else’s and your own

Rio: Right

Buster: You had a life before, things you felt and wanted, and you’ll have a life after, once she’s back home and he’s serving his sentence, it’s your decision what you think it should look like

Rio: It’s not that simple

Buster: It doesn’t need to be overcomplicated

Rio: You don’t always get to decide, how things affect you, sometimes they just do

Buster: You get to decide what you’re going to do next

Rio: Not in a vacuum, I have to think about everyone else

Buster: No shit, every action has a consequence, you have to decide whether you can live with what those consequences could be, or not

Rio: Yeah, I know

Buster: It isn’t our fault but it’s our responsibility, whatever happens when we act on how we feel

Rio: I know that too

Buster: Ignorance isn’t bliss, we’ll always be better off knowing what we’re getting into

Rio: No one’s claiming we can pretend about this

Buster: I’m sick of pretending

Rio: You want something real

Buster: We both do

Rio: I just mean there’s more bullshit in your life

Buster: I know what you meant

Rio: At least you’re not going to try to deny it

Buster: Why would I?

Rio: You would before

Buster: I had to protect myself then, I can trust you now

Rio: I was never going to tell anyone

Buster: I was never going to show weakness like that to someone who already makes me weak

Rio: You’re not weak

Rio: having fake friends and acting up to fit in better doesn’t make you weak either

Buster: I am for you

Rio: What is it about me?

Buster: Is this where I repeat every compliment I’ve given you today?

Rio: No I wasn’t fishing this time

Rio: I don’t know, do you think you’d like me as much if we met as strangers?

Buster: You’d have all the same qualities I recognise in you, of course I would

Rio: I’m just thinking about it, how much easier it’d be but all the more unlikely for it, obviously

Buster: You think I want you because I can’t have you and I’m rarely told no

Rio: It’s part of the appeal

Buster: You’d be as appealing if you threw yourself at me as an unknown stranger

Rio: Why am I throwing myself at you, boy

Buster: Because the scenario needed a clear yes, to illustrate my point

Rio: Hmm, let you off then

Buster: And why wouldn’t you?

Rio: Because throwing yourself at people is not attractive

Buster: It would be if you did it, everything you do is

Rio: That’s mutual

Rio: It’d be annoying if I never got to respond

Buster: It very much was, when we couldn’t

Rio: Worse when I didn’t have a boyfriend to bring

Buster: Don’t remind me of the boyfriends you paraded in front of me

Rio: It was your fault

Buster: It was yours you didn’t choose better

Rio: There was nothing wrong with them, you always say that

Buster: And I’m always right

Rio: You were just jealous, rightly so

Buster: No, I told you, you’re a goddess, none of them deserved to be anywhere near you

Rio: I needed them, I couldn’t be around you and be alone

Buster: It’s embarrassing for them they could be around you and act like they did, I’m not jealous, I’m angry

Rio: Don’t be, it’s fine

Rio: I wasn’t a good girlfriend

Buster: You’re good for me, that’s what matters

Rio: You’re not the thing that will come between me being a good girlfriend this time, there’s no pretending necessary

Buster: And it isn’t necessary for me to hit them, I know

Rio: They aren’t anymore, this is about us

Buster: Yeah, we’re properly an us from now on

Rio: I’ll reapply your name, I still have the lipstick

Buster: I could reapply yours too

Buster: in ink or as a bruise, I don’t have any yet, other than my lip

Rio: Your poor lip

Buster: Your hips must hurt more

Rio: Only as much as the rest of me does, missing you, wanting your touch

Buster: I’m there with you as your pillow, let me touch you

Rio: We can stay like this, as long as we want

Buster: Until you pass out anyway

Rio: I’m not going anywhere

Buster: Where’s my name going?

Rio: Depends where you want it

Rio: Somewhere hidden, I could keep it for longer

Buster: No spoilers, but what parts of your body does your costume hide?

Rio: I need to consider how I’ll be moving and how often, a good question

Buster: Luckily I’m there as your pillow for you to try out every possible way you might want to move

Rio: I’ve thought about nothing else for what feels like days even though it’s only been [however long you’ve been talking] somehow

Buster: You’re all I think about since that kiss

Rio: How have we only kissed that once? It doesn’t seem possible

Buster: I need to kiss you again, I can’t stop putting my mouth all over this pillow

Rio: I want to kiss you so badly I’d be okay if that’s all we did

Rio: your mouth, I have it memorised from watching you speak and drink and smile

Buster: I’ve seen you bite the inside of yours so often it’s etched into my memory too

Rio: I haven’t been quiet enough yet today, letting your name out whenever I want

Buster: You haven’t had me to keep you quiet yet

Rio: I can push my face into this pillow, like you said

Buster: And bite it instead of your cheek

Rio: Don’t you want to feel the scar?

Buster: You’ll have plenty of other opportunities

Rio: You don’t want me to get hurt

Buster: You’re my baby

Rio: You’re so loving

Buster: You’re so loveable

Rio: You make me feel so cute

Buster: Well, you’re the cutest

Buster: fucking adorable

Rio: I adore you, how little you make me feel

Buster: You are little

Buster: Did you stop growing for me [whenever she did because of course he has noticed how tall she is at different ages], or is it a random coincidence for me to get obsessed with?

Rio: I think everything is for you, however much control I did or didn’t have, I’ve always been your little girl

Buster: I love everything about you

Rio: You’re my protector, the way you can overpower me drives me wild

Buster: [give her a pillow demo, obvs, you gotta]

Rio: Like

Rio: I so badly need holding down by you, immediately

Buster: It wouldn’t matter where you wrote my name, I’ll keep you completely still, no one but us would know it’s even there

Rio: It’s in my eyes, if anyone wants to see it

Rio: there’s no hiding that, ever

Buster: Show me, I want to see it

Rio: [close-up eye selfie]

Buster: [show her that you’ve made it your phone screen for rn, for the dangerous game of seeing if anyone’ll see it because it’s a close up and you could get away with peeps not realising but also you very much could get found out, as is always y’alls vibe]

Rio: Can I have something?

Buster: [send her a close up of your mouth after what she said about memorising it cos we loved that, and could be anyone’s]

Rio: [show him that you’ve set it too]

Rio: You’re unreal

Buster: Kiss me

Rio: [send him the sounds because you can’t show yourself being feral on your phone screen but it gets the insane vibe across]

Buster: [send her your every sound in reaction, including your bed hitting the wall cos of how hard you’re humping this pillow]

Rio: You’re my crush, I would have posters of you on my wall

Buster: You’re my girlfriend, I should put pictures of you up on my walls

Rio: When you go to Uni

Buster: Remember that picture of us [cue a childhood mem pre dare kiss that is adorable and has no place in this feral moment except it does because y’all have always been in love] that’s in between the pages of [a book whether it’s his fave to read or a school book he has to look at often, we know what I’m saying]

Rio: We look so sweet, and happy

Rio: Our kids will look like that

Buster: They’ll be even happier, I promise

Rio: We can be that happy, together, I promise

Buster: I know we will be

Rio: I need to go through the photo albums with you inside me

Buster: Kiss every single photo of me

Rio: It will heal little me and you, to know they get to be together and get married and have all the babies

Buster: We’re going to have to wait to look because I won’t be able to stop myself getting you pregnant right then and there

Rio: It’s so hard being good

Rio: but you can’t, it’s okay

Buster: You’ll be such a good mother

Rio: You’re already incredible at it, no practice needed but I’ll keep letting you perfect it

Buster: Put your lipstick on and kiss me again

Rio: [find out your camera so you can film this this time and then take picture of the lipstick on your screen so he can see the carnage]

Buster: [reciprocate by sending her a lil vid of your feral antics with this pillow because truly losing it over everything y’all have been talking about and now that content]

Rio: [sending him pictures that you like of him from his parents’ socials, just a spam, we know what we’re saying]

Rio: That’s my man, I’ve needed you from birth

Buster: [do the same even though it’s less of a spam because you can’t stop doing what you’re doing and also are shamelessly getting distracted by looking at said pics of her you’re choosing, not at all casually taking you a thousand years to send each pic but we’re not soz, I imagine you’re picking ones that have similarities to the ones of you where possible, as well as ones where she just looks adorable because duh]

Rio: Tell her how much you love her

Buster: [pick your fave picture for whatever reason and send her content of you saying every unhinged compliment that you can vaguely coherently get out of your mouth, we all know that the first ILY is happening and then he’ll be on a loop of it, all the while fucking this pillow like his life depends on it so the noises are also unhinged]

Rio: Oh my fucking God, I love you, I love you

Rio: give me the mini-mes we want

Buster: Being the daddy of twins would heal me most of all

Rio: I will give you perfect twins

Buster: Swear

Rio: [drool all over your favourite picture of him whilst making the most !! EYE CONTACT]

Buster: How perfect you are is going to make me cum

Rio: I’m so close

Rio: when we have a house full of photos and memories, how are we ever getting anything done?

Buster: We’ll keep making babies in every room, that’s all we need to do

Rio: You’re so full of love

Buster: I’ll fill you with it

Rio: I want more than anyone else has because I love you most

Buster: It’s all yours

Rio: Everyone will know, how often you’re fucking me

Buster: They’ll be sick of overhearing us, they need visuals

Rio: Our babies, nobody else stands a chance with how beautiful our DNA is gonna combine

Buster: And beauty is only part of it, they’ll be as smart as us, love as hard, have everything they want

Rio: The luckiest

Buster: We’re making their luck for them, guaranteeing how happy they’ll be and that nothing’ll go wrong, but also, if it dared to, they could handle it

Rio: If we made it this far, nothing can break us, the safety of that

Buster: Nothing can break us and I won’t let anything break you

Rio: We’ll look after each other

Buster: I owe you ages where I didn’t

Rio: I’m not keeping count

Buster: We both know how much lost time there is to make up for

Rio: How long we can be together far outweighs it

Buster: Don’t ever die and I won’t either

Rio: I swear that too

Buster: [bite your poor lip again and bleed all over your phone screen whichever pic of her is up, I like to think it’s one around or just before their first kiss era just cos, copying the eye contact she made, as your promise too]

Rio: [taking a hot sec to get back to him, for the obvious reasons here]

Rio: Your lip is going to be too swollen to kiss

Buster: I’ll ice it, it’ll be fine

Rio: Fine is far from the word but

Buster: I’ll have you to kiss it better, fine isn’t the word

Rio: I can’t believe you’re like this

Buster: Why?

Rio: Because why would anyone so right for me exist

Buster: Soulmates exist, and I told you, we’re each others

Rio: I know

Rio: Are you exhausted?

Buster: Not yet

Rio: Show-off

Rio: I need to get water

Buster: I’d be showing off if I said I’ll carry you downstairs to get some

Rio: I can’t wait that long, flex though it’d be

Rio: Blame yourself, like

Buster: My past self, and yours

Rio: Aw, well I can’t be mad at them

Buster: And I definitely can’t be at our future kids

Rio: We’ve got time to learn, they’ll need discipline sometimes

Buster: I don’t think so, they’ll be little angels, like you

Buster: but I’ll do the voice, if I must

Rio: Is that how you remember me?

Rio: I obviously can’t be the strict parent, can I

Buster: You were well behaved, but maybe that’s because Nance and I weren’t

Buster: or because of how good you’ve been for me today

Rio: We only saw you on holidays, you were allowed to be overwhelmed by all the people, I was more used to them

Buster: I was excited to see you, you’re the only person who overwhelms me

Rio: I was to see you too

Rio: I wouldn’t be able to sleep the night before

Buster: You need to sleep soon though, you’re exhausted

Rio: I am not

Rio: and I’ve got my water, thank you very much

Buster: You are, baby

Buster: you’re going once you’ve got an empty glass

Rio: Ah, you’re practising being authoritative

Buster: I can just tell, your question about whether or not I was gave me a clue

Rio: I was thinking about how many times you’ve came

Rio: and being polite, obviously

Buster: Mind your manners, and maybe I’ll admit to being a little tired

Rio: It’d be insulting if you weren’t

Buster: We’ve had a busy day together

Rio: God, I hope you weren’t doing anything important

Rio: I really did derail your whole day

Buster: Homework, but I’d finished

Rio: I don’t think I could pretend to be sorry about your homework so I’m glad you were already done

Buster: I’d have done my best to ignore your messages a while longer otherwise, so I’m glad too

Rio: That actually seems like so long ago

Buster: It was, we’ve moved really far past that

Rio: Thank God

Rio: I don’t like being a raging bitch

Buster: Oh please, you weren’t

Rio: It was close

Buster: You barely expressed a justified amount of rage for how much of a bitch Nancy was being, you never do

Rio: Because there’s no point

Buster: There’s a point to not bottling it up, ask all the family members who’ve suffered for doing exactly that with their emotion of choice

Rio: Okay but I’m not bottling it up

Rio: She wants a reaction only second to wanting the gossip

Buster: Okay, where are you letting it out?

Rio: I shouted at you instead

Buster: Did you? That seemed like foreplay to me

Rio: It would to you

Buster: Yeah

Rio: You’re supposed to fight with your partner, not everyone

Buster: She’ll treat you as a doormat whenever you allow her to, which isn’t exclusive to my sister, that’s all

Rio: I don’t let people treat me like a doormat, I’m just not confrontational for the sake of it

Buster: Neither am I

Rio: I’m not coming for you

Buster: Good, because it would be really bad manners, as well as timing

Rio: Tell yourself

Buster: I’m not coming for you either

Rio: Good

Buster: I’m looking out for you, I’m supposed to

Rio: It’s cool

Buster: Say it like you mean it, babe

Rio: It really is, let’s not spoil anything

Buster: Drink your water, I’ll go and get my own

Rio: You can go to bed, don’t worry

Buster: That would spoil things, tell me you don’t want me to at least

Rio: We’ll talk as soon as you wake up, won’t we?

Buster: Will you dream about me?

Rio: You know I will

Buster: I’ll miss you, I don’t want to

Rio: I know, it feels horrible

Buster: My room’s too quiet, and colder, in contrast to minutes ago

Buster: making me feel as though that all happened ages before, or didn’t really

Rio: We’ll stay awake, we don’t have to go

Buster: We can’t, I’m meant to be looking after you

Rio: You need to put your dressing gown on, or get snuggled in properly

Rio: I don’t want you to be cold

Buster: [tuck yourself up and send her the evidence as a pic]

Rio: [do the same like there, that’s better]

Buster: Where’s [whatever childhood fave toy she used to have and carry around everywhere a la my boo and Ted]?

Rio: [send him a selfie because I’m sure said cuddly is not far even if now on a shelf or something for safety]

Rio: 👋

Buster: [send her back one of whatever fave toy you were rocking in the same era defs on a shelf but not thrown away, idk if it’s a toy car or figure or what I’m not a boy]

Rio: I remember you

Rio: I thought you’d have got rid of all yours, for sure

Buster: I did the rest

Rio: You can’t keep everything

Rio: it’s nice to have some reminders though, I think

Buster: I wouldn’t want to completely forget who I was, and sometimes that feels easily done, even with physical reminders

Rio: I know what you mean

Rio: it’s hard to trust my memories now but some of them are still good, I have to believe that

Buster: [send her a pic of the pic you mentioned before that you keep in that book, of y’all little and happy because clearly a good memory]

Rio: Exactly, like then

Rio: and you still are the cutest little kid I’ve ever seen, I wasn’t being hyperbolic

Buster: We seriously are going to have the cutest kids anyone’s ever seen

Rio: You would need to stay in school forever

Rio: I’m going to have to keep in shape until I’m old enough to be a grandma to keep up with the other mammys

Buster: They’re the ones who need to worry about keeping up with you, however old you are

Buster: you’ll age like [insert some fancy af whiskey or something here idk but he would]

Rio: We’re just not used to older mums, or even ‘age-appropriate’ in this family, that’s all

Buster: We’ll know when it’s right to start our family

Rio: I can wait really

Rio: Your family would kill you and it’s the last thing mine needs

Buster: My parents are those hypocrites, as if me and Nance weren’t the most poorly timed and shamelessly unplanned thing they’ve ever done

Rio: They obviously still wanted you though

Buster: Nancy is welcome and lucky that they wanted me, yeah

Rio: You’re going to be the first person to be wanting twins if you meant that

Rio: they’re always a shock, or a surprise if you can be positive about it

Buster: I meant it

Rio: We’ve got good odds

Buster: I have unbeatable odds in regard to getting what I want

Rio: Not that you like to brag

Buster: I’d love to brag about you

Buster: How long are wedding vows allowed to be?

Rio: You cannot make people sit through that 😳

Buster: I can and will

Rio: I’d cry all my makeup off

Buster: You’re breathtaking without any

Rio: You’re not allowed to make me so weak

Buster: You did it to me first

Rio: It’s a secret right now

Buster: A circle of kids saw me shaking when we kissed, it was no secret I almost missed and sucked your chin, it’s my nightmare fuel

Rio: And I bet none of them remember

Rio: well, our siblings for piss-taking potential, sure but not like we do

Buster: I wish you didn’t

Rio: That’s so mean, don’t take my happy memories away

Buster: I wish it was a less embarrassing memory then, I so badly wanted our first kiss to be perfect

Rio: First times aren’t meant to be

Buster: This kiss is going to be

Rio: If you’re trying to tell me you’ve got better, I was giving you that for free, like

Buster: Sadly your jokes haven’t

Rio: Who’s joking

Buster: I can’t remember what I was trying to tell you

Rio: You’ll remember if it matters

Rio: you don’t need to freak out about any of this, you know

Buster: I’m not, I left them behind with him, that kid having the biggest of his life

Rio: Understandable, we were only babies

Buster: We didn’t know what we were doing

Rio: Ugh, I’m just thinking about your first time again, change the subject it’s too sad

Buster: Don’t, think about [an updated countdown]

Rio: I can’t help but think about it

Rio: it’s not just you, that’s the problem, it’s everywhere

Buster: It doesn’t need to cause problems

Rio: It does

Buster: Why?

Rio: That’s my experience, what I’ve seen

Buster: What we’re talking about was my experience

Rio: I know

Buster: You’re trying to draw parallels which don’t exist, my first time doesn’t compare to the other situations you’re thinking about

Rio: Maybe we should slow down

Buster: I’m not dignifying that bullshit with an answer

Rio: Can you not

Rio: This is a lot, no one wants it to be a trauma response

Buster: Can you fucking not, Rio

Buster: it isn’t

Rio: What’s wrong with slow?

Buster: I’m not a victim of anything, nor fragile, that’s what’s wrong

Rio: This isn’t all about you, believe it or not

Buster: You said this was what you needed, I believed that

Rio: There’s no space for any uncertainty

Buster: I am certain, I thought you wanted what I want

Rio: I want to be sure, that’s what time would give

Buster: Take some, space too, I hope it helps you figure out all your maybes and gives you what you want

Rio: If we can’t have a conversation about this then fine, that’s clearly for the best

Buster: We’ve been having this conversation all day

Rio: Yeah, likewise if you’re sick of it

Buster: I don’t know what else I can say that I haven’t

Rio: So I’ll go and leave you alone

Buster: Go if you want, or stay and talk in circles

Rio: That probably means we’re on the wrong track, no?

Buster: We’re evidently not in the same place

Rio: Do you want to talk to me tomorrow or not?

Buster: You’re asking to slow things down, when do you want to talk to me?

Rio: I’ve already talked in circles so

Buster: So I’m going to bed, I’ll talk to you tomorrow

Rio: Goodnight then

Buster: Yeah, goodnight

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what-is-this-existence · 1 year

Text

“Blunts on the counter can’t wait to face it”

I’m so done fw people who only care about me through words.. Like you say you gonn do this and that, tell me you care, how much you love me w/e w/e then when it come down to it you really not bout ts. You gotta attitude, you ask somebody else to do you, you say yea and then don’t do it, say it’s because something I did or some shit.

It’s crazy that this is such a broad statement like wtf did I do? It has to be me atp

Only time I talk to my dad is when I reach out to him, and he bought my sister a brand new car same maker and model as mine but newer. And then my stepmom bragged about it.

I been in 1 fight before in my life when I was attacked by my stepmom. And nobody gave a shit about my side and my siblings didn’t back me up either.

My moma made me take a picture with her after that and pretend like a fucking happy family, nah fuck that bitch.

My moma gonn tell us not to talk about our childhood around her cause it make her feel like a bad parent but otr, it’s something else making you feel like that. Maybe cause it’s a fact.

Like how many times did I go to school w/out lunch, lucky one of the janitors was looking for kids like me to give lunches to. How many times did I beg and beg to do extracurriculars or for literally things that I needed like tennis shoes just for her to say I’ll think about it and it never happens.

How many times did she reject marriage proposals from men that were literally father figures to me and treated me like their own daughter to the point where I was closer to them than my own father and now she engaged to a fucking bum.

I was 16 stealing shoes for gym class cause my moma “couldn’t afford them” when her closer couldn’t even fit all her shoes laid out on the floor. Getting the lights cut off on my birthday, eating sandwiches in the dark cause it was a Saturday. That school year I made 1 $7 pizza last for dinner all week.

By clothes were from the thrift store and from donations that my grandma got that I recreated, not the mall and whatever was popular. My brother decided to make fun of me about it but he was wearing the same shit.

I can’t even talk to you about shit cause as soon as I got something better going for me, you gotta talk about why you can’t. As soon as I start talking about my future plans and what I’m excited about doing, you tell me your accomplishments for the day. After you didn’t care when I was talking about what ima do after graduation and change the subject, I say I’m not having a party cause no one cares and you say I should cause you care.

All you want to talk about is the shit you learned about your family 6 months ago then tell me I don’t talk enough, you get mad at my communication issues and don’t finish my tiktoks explaining why I suck and things you could do to help but you scroll for the funny ones. We don’t even talk like we used to, watch shows together, go out, actually send each-other tiktok & watching together. I ask you opinion and you won’t give it to me cause you thinks your answer will be wrong like I literally wanna know what you think I care about your opinion. *crickets*

I’m graduating this year and literally, who in the fuck cares? Nothing’s gone right, my degree is a dead end and won’t make me happy. Nothing will.

I was supposed to be special…. But I’m just average.

ima just go start working as much as I can be there

Time to boss up

#spinningg #a story #my words #brain soup #off 4 bars

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self-proclaimed-chaotic-good · 2 years

Text

Weddings and Funerals | Diego Hargreeves x Reader

Prompt: Wedding

Words: 1307

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Summary: Not exactly the best circumstances to meet your future in-laws. Takes place during S1. Continuation oneshots here.

“What do you mean you can’t make it?” you yelled at your fiance.

Diego winced, pulling the phone away from his ear. “It’s not like we have a big ceremony planned. We’re just going to be signing some papers.”

You sighed. “I know, but… what happened, Di? Is everything alright?”

He leaned back in his chair as he thought of how to answer. He had already patched up the small cuts he had sustained and had the time to stop by a sandwich shop on his way home. There was something he had to make sure, though. The image of his old man appeared on the TV screen again, words running along the bottom only confirming what he had seen earlier that night.

“My old man is dead,” he finally said, “I don’t know how or why, but… look, I have to look into this.” You were silent for a moment and during that time, he was worried that you’d hang up and never answer his calls again.

“I wanna be there with you,” you said.

“Honey, you can’t-” Diego was already shaking his head at the idea.

“We stick together, remember? You don’t always have to do things on your own. Let me help you, Di.”

He rubbed his face and sighed. “Okay. Okay, fine. Start packing your things and I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“You better,” you threatened, “Or I’ll kick your ass.”

“I know you will.” Diego smiled, then added softly, “I love you.”

It was something that he had struggled during the beginning of your relationship. He wasn’t one to express intimate emotions easily, especially due to how he was raised. He was convinced that he would have to do things on his own without being tied down to a cruel and controlling mad scientist and indifferent adopted siblings. That was until he met you.

Your first day of meeting each other was sparring in the ring and knocking him down on his back. From then on, he pursued you. Despite being together for a few years, you still lived separately. You had to move to the other side of town for work while Diego still remained in the basement of the boxing gym. The two of you made it work, though.

“I love you, too.”

Diego decided to go to the academy early, giving him time to look around the place before his siblings arrived. He already knew what they thought of his vigilante lifestyle and didn’t want to argue with them when he was busy investigating. On the way there, Diego gave you a brief summary on his siblings and what to expect from them. It seemed a lot to handle, but he spoke very fondly of his mother. You knew about The Umbrella Academy and had read Vanya’s book once, so you at least had an idea of what you were getting into.

“Not exactly how I wanted to meet the in-laws,” you said as he parked across the academy.

“Not sure if you should be meeting them at all,” he said.

He climbed out of his car and gazed up at the buildings that made up his childhood prison. The Umbrella Academy. He moved out as soon as he was old enough, getting jobs anywhere he could and finding his own apartment to live in. He was finally independent, but in his mind, he could never be truly free from what he had gone through growing up. And he was about to go in again.

“There’s a shit ton of rooms in the house, so you can pick one of them to sleep in,” he said, crossing the street.

“Or I can sleep in your room.”

He shook his head. “My room’s tiny compared to the others.”

“But there’s a shit ton of rooms and your old man is gone. You can pick a different room,” you suggested.

He looked back at you and smiled. “True. I’ll give you a quick tour first.”

It was crazy seeing the Umbrella Academy from the inside, a bunch of buildings carved out into one single mansion. He pointed out the areas where Reginald would have them run drills, the hiding spots that his siblings had found, everything that had a memory attached to it. He even introduced you to his mom, Grace, who, he admitted after walking away, didn’t seem to be all there.

Diego suggested staying put while he had gone around the house searching for something. Pogo had taken over what was left of the house tour and brought you over to one of the rooms next to the foyer. You stood in front of the “family portraits” noting how they still wore their masks. A big portrait above the fireplace was Five. You remembered Vanya mentioning him in their book and how they felt closer to him and Ben than the other siblings.

There was a paragraph you remembered where it seemed that Vanya and Diego had been close at one point as well, but the fact that he would always leave them to help their other siblings save the world made a rift between them. You never bothered to ask Diego about it. He was still upset that Vanya had put their life on blast, as if their father hadn’t paraded them around enough.

Diego eventually joined you, lounging on one of the couches as you waited. Gradually, the siblings arrived. Luther arrived first. Fresh from outer space, apparently. He was confused on who you were and why you were there, but Grace stood in front of you and greeted him, taking him away to have a shave. You had a feeling that this was also to prevent him and Diego from fighting.

Allison was next. She was an amazing actress and singer and you admired her range, both in acting roles and vocals. When she spotted you, she narrowed her eyes. Being a celebrity since she was young, she was understandably cautious about a stranger in her own home.

“I’m Diego’s… betrothed,” you said, offering her your hand.

“Huh,” she said, taking it, “I didn’t know Diego would ever settle.”

“Very funny, Allison,” Diego grumbled from the couch, “Did your divorce settle?”

“Diego!” you scolded him, slapping his leg. He whined, kicking at you lightly.

“Although it’s nice meeting you, I do think you can do better,” Allison said, sending a teasing smirk at Diego.

“Thank you,” You looked down at Diego who was glaring daggers at Allison, “But I think I’m good.”

“Suit yourself.”

The double doors of the entrance opened as Vanya slowly walked into the foyer. Allison quickly turned to greet them with a smile. You wondered how long it had been since either of them actually spoke to each other. Diego mumbled something under his breath, jumping off the couch and stormed past the pair.

“They shouldn’t be here! Not after what they did,” he said, stomping up the steps.

“Way to dress for the occasion!” Allison retorted.

“At least I’m wearing black.”

You sighed, staring after him before introducing yourself to Vanya. Their eyes widened when you told them of your relationship with Diego.

“Wow, that’s… congratulations,” they said. That seemed to be the running theme when it came to revealing that you were engaged with their brother.

“He’s a bit of a grumpy pants, but he’s also a big softy,” you said, making them laugh.

“I heard that!” Diego shouted from upstairs.

“Good!”

“Uh, when is the wedding?” Vanya asked.

You shrugged. “We were supposed to register for it today, actually.”

“Oh, my god, I’m so sorry,” Allison said with a frown, “My brother’s a dick, but the timing is pretty crap. I’d rather have met you in better circumstances.”

“Yeah, well… You know what they say about estranged siblings. You only see each other at weddings and funerals.”

#diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves x reader #tua imagine #the umbrella academy imagine #tua

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touyasdoll · 3 years

Text

Falling

Inspired by this ask

Pairing: Shouto Todoroki x reader

Word count: 4.4k

Genre: fluff, smut

Warnings: heights?? yep. just in case, alcohol, outdoor/technically public sex, unprotected sex, emotional sex

Notes: This is my love letter & formal apology to Shouto after what I've done to him in the Plans series. Thank you to @thickbitchywitch/@katsukisdynamite for the ask that inspired this piece 🧡 sorry to make ya wait for it!

Also, I know America does everything ass-backwards, including which side of the road we drive on, but for the purpose of this fic and for the sake of all the cute little moments I wanted to cram into it, this is set in an unspecified country that might seem eerily similar to the USA.

You slip your fingers through the warm mug of coffee resting on your end table, bringing it to your lips to savor that first, delicious sip as you gaze out the window. It’s still fairly early, the sky just having lost its pinkish hue as it ascends the horizon. There’s a crisp chill in the air outside, warm-toned leaves dancing around, carried by the light breeze that’s shaking the branches of the tree on the other side of the windowpane. After a long, hot summer, it’s finally feeling like fall.

The chime of your phone pulls you from your morning routine. You smile fondly at the caller ID, which reads: Shouto <3

“Good morning,” you chirp, setting your coffee aside to curl up on the couch, fiddling with the sleeve of your oversized sweatshirt.

“Good morning,” you can hear that adorable smile of his in his voice. “Did you sleep okay?”

“I did, thank you for asking. Did you?” You chew on the inside of your lip, fingers still absently playing with your own sleeve to work out the butterflies that have taken flight inside your belly.

It had only been a month or so since you’d started seeing Shouto after having met him through your childhood friend, Momo. She had not-so-subtly arranged for the two of you to meet by inviting you both out to coffee with her separately, saying she had a friend she was bringing along. She never had any intentions of attending, but the little white lie was necessary, of course.

If she had told either of you that she was trying to set you up, neither one of you would have shown up that day and you wouldn’t be sitting here, all smiles as you listen to his soothing voice through the receiver.

“For the most part,” he sounds nervous. Maybe that’s why he clears his throat before he continues, “I was up planning something for the two of us today. You said you were free today, right?” “Yeah, I have nothing going on,” you say almost too eagerly, blushing as you slap your hand to your face, letting it slide over your cheek as you scrunch up your features. “What, uh, what did you have in mind?”

“It’s a surprise. Bit of an all day thing, though. Can I pick you up in an hour or so?”

“An hour?” You glance at the clock, then down at your ‘clearly dressed for comfort’ attire. “Hour and a half maybe? I don’t wanna make you wait on me when I’m inevitably late.” You laugh and he returns a chuckle to your ears.

“Okay, but just for future reference, for you? I’d wait a lot longer than you’d think I might. Hour and a half is fine. I’ll take my time getting there, just in case.”

“Thank you,” the rosy tint on your cheeks increases tenfold as you murmur your goodbye. “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon.”

/// Two Hours Later ///

“Glad you took your time,” you beam at Shouto as you swing open the door to your apartment, gesturing for him to come inside. “I just need to pull my shoes on and then I’ll be ready to go, I promise.” You allow him inside, shutting the door behind him to keep the cold out before stepping aside to pull on your favorite pair of fall boots that complimented the cozy date outfit you’d adorned. “Can I get you anything?”

“Oh, no thank you,” he smiles politely. “I actually grabbed us some coffee on the way here. It’s down in the car. I just ordered you what you got last time, I hope that’s okay.”

“Last time?” You furrow your brow, looking at him curiously. “Like, when we met?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “I made a note so I wouldn’t forget it for the next time. Didn’t think it would be a whole month later,” he chuckles, scratching the back of his head as he glances down. “I meant to drop by your office a couple weeks ago to surprise you, but work got in the way.”

“Really?” Your expression softens, a shy smile lingering on your lips. “That’s really sweet of you. I don’t even think Momo knows my coffee order,” you laugh, grabbing your coat to pull it on as you step towards the front door.

His long stride allows him to reach the handle before you and he pulls the door open, gesturing for you to head out, “After you,” he smiles handsomely, retrieving his keys from his pocket.

“Thank you,” you nod in appreciation, stepping outside to lock the door behind him.

He strolls up to the passenger side of his sleek, black sedan to open the car door for you, making sure every piece of your ensemble is tucked inside before he shuts the door and circles around to sink into the driver’s seat.

“Hope I got it right,” he glances over at you sipping your beverage as he pushes to start the engine and it purrs to life.

“You did,” you nod reassuringly, holding the warm cup in your lap to keep your hands toasty in the chilly morning air. “Thank you again. This is really thoughtful of you.”

“Don’t mention it,” he rests his elbow on the console, letting his hand dangle above the cup holders as he drives off.

It’s quiet for a long moment. You’re too busy contemplating whether or not you should hold his hand to notice how awkward the silence feels. Should you just go for it? Have you reached that stage yet? Where you can just casually slip your hand through his like you’ve done it a million times? You’d spent plenty of time together, but not much of it was spent holding hands. That seemed so intimate and it was hard to get a proper read on him most of the time, so it was tough to say if you were there yet.

Unbeknownst to you, he’s suffering through a similar dilemma. He doesn’t know what to say. He feels like he never knows what to say around you. That ‘I’d wait for you’ line from this morning was a complete surprise to him. He wasn’t a smoother talker, ever. Something must have possessed him and now he’s just hoping that you’re not expecting him to keep up with it, because he doesn’t have the silver-tongue to do so.

He’s so wrapped up in agonizing over how to start a conversation that he doesn’t notice your left hand entering his peripheral vision, not until it’s there, your fingers reaching over and slipping through his. That is, until the moment you realize that his right hand is as cold as ice.

You jump a little, retracting your hand as you gasp quietly, instant embarrassment flooding your cheeks with heat that you wish would surge to your fingertips. He seems a bit startled, sparing a worried glance at you very briefly before returning his focus to the road.

“Are you alright?” His voice is laced with concern, which is endearing, but it only adds to the embarrassment.

“Yeah,” you squeak, “I’m sorry, I wanted to--I was going to hold your hand, but I didn’t realize that your hand wa--,”

“Was so cold,” he nods, a small smile spreading across his lips. It looked like he was trying not to laugh, which he most definitely was, but it prompted a giggle of your own.

“Yeah,” you look down at your hands, cheeks still burning as warm as the drink in your grasp. “Probably should’ve expected that, I s’pose.”

“That’s alright,” he glances over again to flash a reassuring smile in your direction before tilting his head to the left. “This side is much warmer, I promise.” He waits a beat, “A-are your hands cold? I can’t exactly lend you this hand.” He nods to the one gripping the steering wheel, “But you could, uh, put your hand in my hair?”

“Are you sure?” You laugh again, tentatively reaching your hand behind his head, letting your wrist rest on the back of the seat before he nods his permission. You push your fingers into his red hair and greeted with nothing but comforting warmth. “Oh,” you murmur, absently playing with his hair as you run your fingers through it. “You really do run warm on this side.”

“Mm, mm-hmm,” he hums quietly, fighting the urge to close his eyes and lean into your gentle touch. “Feel better?”

“Better this and the coffee, yes.”

“Good,” he chuckles, feeling a tad more comfortable now that the tension of the initial silence was broken.

“So, where is it that we’re going?” You think to ask, smiling when you see his lips turn up at your query.

“A few places,” he nods thoughtfully. “First up is apple-picking. Have you ever been?”

“No, but I’ve always wanted to,” your eyes dance with excitement and he’s grateful he spares another glance to see you perk up in your seat.

“Me either,” he glances in his rear view and looks over his shoulder before getting onto the highway. “Heading up a little further North, but I brought an extra coat for you in case it gets too cold.”

“Brought or bought something I would tell you is too expensive?” You raise an eyebrow, donning a coy smile as you momentarily halt your fingers in his hair.

“Would it help if I told you that I bought it for Fuyumi last year and never gave it to her?”

“It might,” you narrow your eyes playfully, regarding him with skepticism.

“Well, then I would tell you that, if I felt like I could lie to you,” he shrugs, a soft chuckle escaping him as he sees you shake your head in the corner of his eye. “It’s no big deal. Just about anyone could probably use a new coat for the winter anyway, right?”

“You’re not wrong,” you admit, resuming carding your fingers through his fiery locks. “But I’ve told you that you don’t need to spend your money on me. It’s so sweet, but it’s really not necessary.”

“I don’t do things that I want to do because they’re necessary. Otherwise, that’s just something that I have to do,” he half shrugs, that effortless smile on his face yet again. “I want to buy you nice things sometimes. You deserve them.”

You open your mouth to reply, but you can’t seem to find the words. No one’s ever said something so genuine to you and yet he’s done it twice just this morning, catching you off guard and rendering you speechless.

“Thank you,” you finally say, running your fingers through his hair a little slower as you study his face, smiling fondly at his profile.

“You’re welcome,” he grins and you catch yourself staring before he looks your way, turning your eyes to your coffee as you take another sip.

“So, you said there were a few stops planned on our little adventure today?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “After apple-picking, there’s actually a small farm nearby there. It’s pretty small, they usually only host private events, but there’s a pumpkin patch and this beautiful tree. Looked like a great place for a picnic, so I arranged for us to have the place to ourselves.”

You open your mouth to protest, but promptly close it and nod, “Because you wanted to?”

“Because I wanted to,” he repeats with an emphatic nod. “After that, I’ll either take you home or you can come back to my place with me. I know you mentioned a couple of scary movies that you wanted to watch, so I picked up a copy of those and that, other one you were talking about? Not the scary one, but--the one you couldn’t believe I haven’t seen?”

“Hocus Pocus?!” You say a little too animatedly, but he thinks your excitement is adorable.

“That’s the one,” he confirms. “I thought you might be excited about that one.”

“I still can’t believe you’ve never seen it,” you shake your head. “It’s a classic! And it plays on tv at least 42 times a week throughout the month of October.”

“Never been much of a movie guy,” he flicks on his turn signal, reaching his arm behind your seat to brace his hand against it before looking over his right shoulder.

You can smell the dab of cologne wafting from the inside of his wrist, his bicep flexes subtly in the position it takes and you can’t help but look at it, to take him in. He’s dressed well, as always. Dark jeans, a gray henley, and a black canvas jacket, lined with red flannel. His gaze flickers to you, a soft smile appearing on his lips in the brief moment that your eyes meet and you swear that you could melt right there, despite the cool temperature of the cab.

“Well, you might become one after today,” you turn your head, pretending to look out the window in case a shade of pink creeps back across your cheeks. “Sometimes all it takes is one good experience to change your whole perspective on something.”

“Yeah,” his gaze lingers on the side of your face as he brings his arm back to rest on the console. He wears a fond smile as he contemplates exactly how true your words ring. “That’s something I’ve recently come to realize.”

///

Romantic love wasn’t something that he was inherently familiar with. It was never demonstrated by his parents and he hadn’t had any other influences in his life to model what a healthy, loving relationship looked like. That type of love was a foreign concept. He’d come to understand platonic love over the years, but venturing into the romantic variety? It was intimidating for someone who felt like he didn’t even have the proper foundation to build on.

He was incredibly grateful to Momo for tricking him into what ended up being your first date, because he wouldn’t have had the courage to go otherwise and he knew that. He could stare danger straight in the face, but he didn’t have it in him to walk into a coffee shop with the knowledge that he’d be left to his own devices with a beautiful, intelligent woman. The latter was ostensibly more terrifying through the lens he saw the world through.

And terrifying it was. It was awkward, slightly uncomfortable, but he reasoned that most first dates were. The first time that you laughed at something that he’d said, all he could think about was making you do it again.

Your laugh, your smile, your presence. It was alluring, intoxicating even. He couldn’t explain the feeling bubbling up in the pit of his stomach as he watched you talk about your job, your goals, your interests. It was new and exciting, but paralyzing. He’d never had such a strong attachment to someone he’d only just met.

A few hours later, while you were saying goodbye, all he could think about was the next time that he would get to see you. It almost scared him how much the thought consumed him. He couldn’t believe that he had just spent one of the best afternoons of his life with someone who was a total stranger to him when he woke up that morning.

He couldn’t believe it when you agreed to go to dinner with him the next day. He was worried about it being too soon to ask to see you again, but he was more concerned with not seeing you for another week or longer.

He couldn’t believe how much he had grown to care about you in such a short amount of time when he started planning this fall excursion of yours last week. A month wasn’t a lot of time to fall in love with someone. He didn’t know much, but he knew that. Still, he couldn’t help but think that maybe this was it. Maybe this was love.

He’d thought about it a lot over the past few days, ruminating over how he would even know what falling in love felt like. He still didn’t know where to start, who to look to. All he could compare it to was one of those amusement park rides. The kind that lifts you up and dangles you hundreds of feet in the air, letting you take a good hard look at the ground, at where you could end up if something were to go wrong, before the world falls away from under you and you’re in free fall. Your stomach flying into your chest, your heart clawing its way into your throat while you hang on tight and hope that everything works out.

If love was like that? Then he was certain that he was falling. He was falling fast and he was falling hard.

///

As the day marched on, he only grew more convinced that this was it. This was the feeling that everyone raved about; that no one could get enough of. It was the little moments that solidified it for him.

The way you laughed, so carefree and joyful when he picked you up by surprise to grab that perfect apple that was just barely out of your reach.

The way he felt when you reached out and found his hand while wandering through the pumpkin patch. It was like you’d practiced the motion a thousand times, you didn’t even need to look. His heart skipped a beat.

The way that you were looking at him now, sitting across from him on the sprawled out blanket beneath the old oak tree tucked away just behind the farm. A kaleidoscope of colors above you in the leaves that danced and swayed in the gentle wind that blew around you.

There was no room for doubt. He was in love.

He had hoped that maybe the realization would bring him a sense of peace, but it only made him more nervous that he already was. He considered himself lucky when he managed to fill both glasses of wine without his trembling hands soaking the picnic blanket with a mismanaged pour.

By the time you’d finished the meal he’d packed for you to share, he was almost certain that you would be able to hear his heart beating out of his chest if you came any closer to him. Still, that was exactly where he wanted you.

He sits back against the trunk of the tree, opening his legs in a v-shape and extending his hand to you, gesturing for you to come closer with a soft expression. You return his gentle smile and oblige, moving to sit between his legs, carefully laying back against his chest. His arms wrap around you, his hands slide against the fabric of the new coat that you had thankfully decided to accept from him as he tries to keep you warm in the crisp weather.

“Thank you for today,” you murmur dreamily, turning slightly to nuzzle into his left side as he smiles down at you. “It’s been perfect.”

“I think so too,” he presses a kiss to your temple, entirely aware that you might not have heard him over the thumping in his chest. “Can I tell you something?”

“Mhm,” you hum happily, wrapping your arm around his torso.

“I don’t know how to say this, because I never have, not--not this way,” he pauses, prompting you to sit up straighter, angling your face up to look at him. “But I, uh,” he looks down into your eyes, wrapping you a little tighter in his arms as he says, “I love you.”

“You what?” You balk, blinking as if that would help you make sure your ears had heard him right.

“I know,” he looks away, loosening his hold on you, in case you might want to scurry away from him and the loaded words that he’d just dropped. “I know it’s only been 5 weeks and that might seem like far too soon to be saying such a thing, but,” he locks eyes with you, his heterochromatic orbs full of genuineness. “I mean it. I really do and I completely understand that you might not be ready to say the same for a while, if you ever feel like saying it to me at all. I just couldn’t let today end without telling you how I really feel.”

“Sho,” you sit up straight, kneeling between his legs and interlocking his hand with yours. “Do you really mean that?”

“Yes,” he reassures you with a soft smile, running his thumb along your finger as he searches your eyes, feeling a spark of immeasurable joy as he notices the way your smile reaches them.

“I love you too.” You breathe the words out and as soon as you do, it feels like a mountain has fallen off your shoulders.

He sits upright and embraces you, snaking an arm around your waist as his lips crash into yours. You return the kiss eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck as he lifts you into his lap to straddle him.

“Mm, Sho?” You speak against his lips, grinding slowly in his lap as your hand pushes into his hair, feeling that familiar warmth.

“Hmm?” He doesn’t bother parting your mouths or even slowing down. His hands push open your jacket to slip beneath your shirt, the pads of his fingers skimming your sides as you shudder under his featherlight touch.

“You said we have this whole place to ourselves? As in, no one’s around?”

“Right,” he pulls back, nodding as he slips his hands up your spine to hook his thumb under the band of your bra, raising a curious brow to you as he do so. “Do you..want to?”

You simply nod in response, the lovesick grin on your face growing wider as you kiss him again before pulling away completely and moving back to the blanket, extending your hand to him. He walks forward a few steps on his knees, cupping your face in his hand as he kisses you slow and deep, dropping his hand away to remove his jacket as you do the same, pulling yours off and setting it aside before you’re tangled in each other’s arms again.

Before long, the both of you are stripped down, shivering in the cold breeze, but unwilling to care. He balls up his coat and sets it down behind you. Thankfully, he brought along an extra blanket, which he pulls over the two of you as he very carefully lays you down, ensuring your head is cradled by the makeshift pillow and that the blanket is at least partially doing it’s job of keeping out the cold; he could keep up the difference to keep you warm.

“Are you alright?” He stops to look into your eyes as he hovers over you, tender eyes regarding you with adoration instead of lust.

“Yes,” you nod gently, reaching up to cup his face, bringing his lips onto yours to kiss him passionately and he sighs through his nose, groaning quietly as he slips inside of you.

It feels different this time, for the both of you, because it is different now. Now that you’ve bared your souls and shared something even more intimate than this deeply personal act, it has a different meaning. There’s a new connotation to this melding of bodies, because your hearts have become inextricably involved.

It’s soft. Slow and gentle. His forehead rests against yours as he bottoms out inside of you, his eyes squeezing shut at the way you clench around him. When he opens his eyes back up, he holds your gaze, staring down at you in awe as you make such pretty, broken sounds just for him. He wants to hear more. Always wanting more. More of you.

His lips find your neck, tucking away quiet promises meant only for your ears and sealing them with a kiss between each proclamation.

“I love you,” he places a kiss just below your ear.

“I think I’ve known since the moment I met you,” another lands on the pulse in your neck.

“You’re the most beautiful, kind, and capable woman that I’ve ever known,” and another to your throat.

“You make me want to be better than I am,” his lips find the other side of your neck.

“Because you deserve the very best,” one last kiss lands just below your other ear as his slow strokes reach deeper, pulling a gasping moan form your chest.

“Sho,” you mewl, mouth falling open as you look up at him, tangling your fingers in the hair on either side of his head. “Sho,” you repeat, your voice rising in pitch, morphing into a soft whine as your eyes fall shut and he buries his face in your neck, grunting and groaning as he bucks his hips just as slow, but twice as harsh, resting his hand on your belly to delicately rub his thumb over your throbbing clit.

“You gonna cum for me, love?” He grins as you nod frantically, grasping at his trapezius with one hand and the blanket beneath you with the other as you arch your back, your hips match his pace as he continues burying himself inside you over and over again.

“Gonna--oh--gonna cum, Shouto!” You keen, coming undone in a shameless display of euphoria as he lets you ride out your orgasm.

“You’re so beautiful,” he marvels before his brows pinch together, his head hanging between his shoulders as he mutters a curse under his breath. “Gonna cum, baby.”

He announces it just before he pulls out, turning himself away in time to ensure that the viscous fluid landed off to the side of where you two laid, the blanket beneath you catching the evidence of your entanglement.

He falls to your side, keeping you tucked beneath the blanket while you curl into him. His chest becomes your pillow as you cast your arm over his waist, clinging to his left side to keep warm as he presses one final kiss to your temple before tucking you under his chin.

“I love you,” he says softly, not a hint of hesitation to be found.

“I love you too,” you return the sentiment, whispering against his skin as confidently as he professed the words to you. “I love you so much.”

Screaming & Creaming Masterlist

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ahundredtimesover · 3 years

Text

Inevitable (Prologue) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader (ft. ot6)

Genre/Tags: exes au, parents au, baseball player!JK; angst, fluff, smut (18+)

Series Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption, minor character death, explicit sexual content in future chapters (oral, unprotected sex but be safe please!)

Prologue Word count: 2.2k

Summary: You convinced Jungkook to break up years ago so he could pursue his lifelong baseball dream. Now he’s back home, staring at you, and the little boy next to you who looks unmistakably like him.

A/N: I’ve had this story in my head for months and I’m glad I finally got to put this into writing! This little family was such a joy to write, and I thank the sweetest soul, Ava @btstannies for letting me gush over this trio and hyping me up everyday! Also, my baseball knowledge is pretty shallow so please forgive me!

Listen to: Walking By by Something Corporate

Series Masterlist || Next

“We’re here.”

The deep voice cuts through the numbness you feel, blowing life into your body that’s chosen to block out the pain for now because you know after this, it’s going to hurt a lot more.

You taste iron on your lips. You feel the sting in your eyes. You see the crescent nail marks on your palms. Then you slacken your jaw and try to breathe.

“You can cry, you know?” But Taehyung knows you won’t. Not in front of him. Not in front of the man whose heart you’re about to break.

Your best friend knows you, knows you’ll only cry when you’re alone - under the covers, in the shower, on your bedroom floor. You don’t let anybody see you like that. It makes you feel like you don’t have control, and control is the one thing you need to have right now.

“I will.”

“You also don’t have to do this.”

But Taehyung also knows you still will. It’s a decision you made on your own and he knows you well enough that nothing - no one - will make you change your mind.

“I need to.”

He hums; it’s a battle he won’t win. So he exits the car, opens the passenger seat door, and pulls you out. “I’ll be here when it’s over.”

When it’s over. Over. That’s what it’ll be after this.

You ring the doorbell and hear the faint footsteps get louder. The door opens and joyful onyx eyes greet you, a contrast to your tired brown ones. He takes it for something else, perhaps stress, since he doesn’t say anything about it.

Jungkook pulls you in a hug and you will yourself not to bask in his sweet scent, not to let his soft giggle on your neck and peck on your cheek and whisper of “I missed you” make you forget why you’re here in the first place.

He tugs you inside the apartment, the one the team offered him because he couldn’t abide by the university dorm’s curfew, being that he trains too early and finishes too late. It had been a blessing to you both, as in the course of your over two years together, you’d taken advantage of the privacy and solitude it provided.

You can’t imagine what it would give him after this.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been so busy. All these calls with the Dodgers’ owner, then manager, then coach. You think they’d all just call at once but they’re in different cities, I guess,” he shrugs and turns to you. “They’ve been excited,” he continues, his smile reaching his eyes.

It’s never pained you until now.

“As they should,” you try a smile. “They’re lucky you signed.”

He chuckles at this. He’s always been amused at your oblivion with how these things work. He’s lucky he even caught the eye of a scout, lucky they even paid attention, lucky that the LA Dodgers wanted to give him a shot with their AAA affiliate team in the minor league.

If he’s even luckier, maybe he can get to the major league in three years; two would be a miracle. It’s what he’s worked so hard for, it’s why the decision to move thousands of miles away was a no-brainer. Not everyone gets a chance to play in the most popular baseball league like this.

But Jungkook doesn’t know any better, doesn’t know that you know how these things work. You wouldn’t be doing what you’re about to if you didn’t.

“I’m glad you called, though,” he says, nerves teeming with excitement at his news. Well, proposal. It might be a difficult sell with you but he knows it’s not impossible.

It came to him one day, in the middle of a conference call with the owner who kept raving about his soon-to-be home.

“Oklahoma City is great, Jungkook. You’re gonna love it there,” the man had said. Jungkook wasn’t completely sold on the city but he knew you’d enjoy the museums, knew you’d enjoy watching the OKC Thunder play - you were always more into basketball than baseball, anyway.

Everything had been so fast - from the meetings to the contract-signing to the planning of his move to the US - but he couldn’t imagine starting his life there without you and he just knew he had to have you there with him.

He could help you find a job or you could do freelance work; what he’d earn could be enough if you both plan things out well, he thought. He was smiling like an idiot during that call, thinking about the next phase of your life together and he couldn’t wait to tell you.

You’d been caught up with your final projects and school events and he’d been caught up with his papers but you’re here with him now.

“So I was thinking and—.”

“We should break up.”

You say at the same time. For the first time, his wide eyes mirror yours - sullen and dark, but glassy, too because he did not just hear you tell him that you two should end this.

Everything had been going so well. You’d been so excited when he got signed to the Minor League, was celebrating with him in all ways you both knew how. There were no talks about breakups, no ending things. It seemed like a given that you’d both stay together; long distance relationships are hard but there are ways to manage. He knew that. He thought you knew that, thought you felt the same, too.

He stares at you, unable to make a sound, to form words that would be remotely close to what he wants to say. His heart is breaking by the second and you stare back at him. There’s no sign of guilt. You’re not taking it back, you’re not saying anything.

“You don’t mean this, ___. Tell me you don’t mean this.”

“I do,” you sigh. “I just think it’s best if we end this.”

He wishes you had not said anything at all.

“Why?” He stammers, willing himself to face whatever fucked up reason you have for wanting to break up. It doesn’t seem real. He’s suffocating with how forward you are, with how unbothered you seem while he feels his world slowly crumbling. “Did I do something wrong? Do you not love me anymore?”

“I just don’t think it’s gonna work out.”

“We haven’t even tried. I mean, I’m not leaving yet, we have a few more months to figure it out.”

“It’s months enough to get over this so we can move on. It’ll just be harder then. We know it’s gonna happen anyway,” you lie.

You see the shock on his face, the disbelief in the words coming out of your mouth. This isn’t the woman who he laid in bed with just a week ago, naked, giggling, kissing him.

“Babe, you can’t do this. I want you—no, I need you to be with me,” he continues, voice strangled, the thoughts of asking you to come with him drifting away.

“I don’t.” It’s another lie, but it’s one you need to tell.

You’re uncompromising, resolute in your decision. Your almost emotionless face - tightened features and completely dry eyes - is a contrast to his. You can’t break. You can’t back out from this.

He muffles his cries, heart breaking at the coldness of your words.

“You’re all you need, Jungkook,” you continue. “There’s nothing else I can give you that you won’t get there.” Another lie. You know that no one could love him as much as you. It’s why you’re doing this.

“Don’t do this to me, please.”

“Don’t do this to me, too, Jungkook. You have an entire life to live out there. You’re the one leaving and I’m supposed to just stay here and wait for you? Until your dream is enough? Live my life in limbo until we can be together again in god knows when? Expect that video calls will make up for the distance? What about me and my own life? What about my needs?”

It’s messed up but that’s what you do when you love someone, right? You hurt them? And you let them go?

You can only hope that one day, he’ll understand; that one day, he can forgive you. That one day, he’ll accept that you had to do this. It’s that hope you hang onto - that you’ll hang onto for years to come - just so you won’t fall apart. It’s only that hope where you can derive your strength from because you’ll have to be strong for someone else now. Someone who isn’t him.

“We— we can work it out. We’ll try, okay?. We’ll figure something out.” He stutters, still unbelieving that this is happening, that he is begging you to be on the same page with him, begging you to fight for this with him.

“But what if we can’t? What if it becomes too much? You know what it would take to make it and I can’t hold you back, Jungkook. My life is here, my family and my friends are here. I have a job waiting for me, so you can’t hold me back either. It’s unfair to both of us.”

He’s looking at you, desperate to find a crack, to find an opening. But there’s none.

“Baby, please—” he cries, arms out to hold you but you step away, as if his touch could burn you. His heart is already shattered, why are you still breaking it? What’s left to break when you’ve taken everything away from him with just your words?

“Jungkook, think about it!”

“I am, and you’re not making sense! I know we haven’t really talked about it—“

“Exactly. Because there’s nothing to talk about. You don’t need baggage when you’re over there, you can’t be thinking about anyone else, especially one who isn’t there. You need support and more patience and understanding and… I can’t give you those. Not anymore. I’m tired. I’ve been tired. It’s gonna be even more tiring when you’re gone.”

The lies don’t stop but you know they’re necessary, that this is how you convince him, that this is how he lets you go.

Jungkook doesn’t think there’s a worse way that you can hurt him. He’s always admired your decisiveness, but right now, he hates it, hates everything he loves about you - how strong you are, how persistent you are, how uncompromising you are. Your words are ice, as cold as the December evening. You’re unmoving and he knows you well enough that you won’t take it back.

“Fine,” he relents. “You want to break up? Then we break up.” He wipes the tears off his face, trying to be brave, trying to salvage the remaining dignity he has left. “We end this right now, like you want.”

This is what you came here to do. This was the goal. And you’re absolutely broken.

You turn away, knowing any more second of looking at his clenched jaw, balled up fist, and unblinking eyes will make you give in, will make you take everything back.

“Don’t reach out, okay? Don’t call. Don’t make this harder than it already is,” he states. “You wanted this.”

You nod because he’s right. You’ll lose all rights to him after this. He’ll get over you, he’ll be okay. You’ll let him know the truth when the time is right.

“Goodbye, Jungkook. Good luck out there. Your father is very proud of you.”

You turn and head out the door, the bang not as loud as your shattering heart. And just like that, it was all over.

You stand motionless outside his apartment, unable to make a step to make it all final.

You hear a thump. Then a sob.

“Please, don’t go,” he whispers, as if he knows you’re still there, and even during the final moments, he’s still begging for you to change your mind. It’s faint but you hear it and you step away this time before you walk back in and take everything back.

Taehyung starts the car as he sees your figure approach. You head to the back, behind the driver’s seat, a hand over your mouth to suppress your sobs.

“You can cry now,” he says, as he steps on the gas and turns up the volume of the radio until it drowns out your sounds. You let yourself go and weep, throat aching at the force of it all, chest tightening at the overwhelming emotion of what you’d just done.

It hurts not like you expected. It hurts even more.

You ground yourself before you lose more of you as the seconds go by and cradle the soon-to-be-there bump on your stomach.

You need to let them know it wasn’t their fault, that they’re a blessing either way, but that it’s just hard right now. You don’t want them to feel the grief, the ache of a love that had to end, the love that created them.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” you whisper and trust that this tiny little being can hear your words. “But we’re gonna be okay, alright? Mama’s gonna be okay.”

#jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook fanfiction #parents au #exes au #baseball player jk #inevitable #series

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enchantestuff · 3 years

Text

promises - red bull Sebastian vettel

as I promised just complete fluff and no smut. our poor seb isn't appreciated enough so here is the four times Sebastian jokingly proposed to you and the one time he actually did

NOT MY GIF

warnings; none really, fluff (btw this made me realise how TERRIBLE I am at writing fluff sorry <3 )

2.1k words, she's long

Sebastian was nervous about getting a new engineer, he so badly wanted to win a championship with Redbull and Christian had confided in him, telling him that this engineer and their new competitive car, would help him live out his dream of being a Formula One champion.

It was nearing the start of the new season and Sebastian had still yet to meet the person that he would be talking to under his most stressful moments and who he had to have full faith in while driving his car. He had begun to think that maybe he never would meet his new engineer when he received a call from Christian, telling him that they both would take place in a race for the Redbull youtube channel, where Sebastain and his new engineer would race against Mark and his, the twist being that the engineers would be the ones driving, not the drivers themselves. Sebastian agreed knowing that it would be a great way to remove any awkwardness between the two of you.

Only a few days later Sebastian was standing on a random racetrack, talking to Mark when he noticed Mark's engineer walking towards them with a beautiful young lady by his side, who Sebastian assumed was his very own engineer. “Hi! It's so nice to meet you Sebastian! My name's Y/N,” you cheerfully greeted him as you shook his hand.

A smile immediately appeared on Sebastian's face at your warm nature and he knew you two would get along just fine. “Please, call me Seb, '' he grinned as he brought a kiss to your knuckles, “now, are you ready to beat these idiots” he joked as he cocked his head towards your opponents.

“Oh, we are going to make a great pair, Seb” you joked as you accepted a helmet off Christian and climbed into the car, getting comfortable inside of the driver's seat.

“Are you a good driver?” Sebastian asked as he secured himself in the passenger's side of the car.

“I don't think I can call myself a good driver with a future Formula One champion sitting right next to me” you smiled as you drove the car to the start line. Sebastian smiled before he braced himself as the flag spun, indicating the start of the race. His head knocked against the headrest as you sped through the track, blocking Mark's engineer as he tried to overtake you and weaving through deadly corners with minimal braking.

It was when the car drifted across the finish line that Seb turned towards you with a wide grin plastered on his face, his heart was thumping hard in his chest with adrenaline. “Please marry me” he joked and you laughed as you high fived him, pleased with your small victory.

* * *

The atmosphere around the paddock was tense, the drivers championship standings were close. Sebastian could almost taste the victory, but he still had a lot of work to do. He had what he would consider a terrible qualifying and had spent the whole night before the race brainstorming ideas on how to improve his time, however nothing seemed to be working.

Everyone was stressed in the Redbull motorhome the following day, which was never something you liked to see, but you understood it as you too had a sleepless night. You pulled Seb to the side the minute you saw him and told him of the new strategy you dreamt up late last night. He was hesitant since it hadn’t been approved by anyone, but he was willing to take the risk if it meant he would win.

“Are you sure?” he had asked you, looking intently into your eyes.

You shook your head. “No not really, but I know you and I know you're the only driver that could make it work” you confided. You both stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Seb pulled you in for a hug, he gently stroked your back as he squeezed you into him. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and hugged him back with just as much force.

“I trust you” he whispered into your ear and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

“Good luck” you spoke as you gave him a final squeeze and pulled away. You bit your nails out of anticipation and shot Seb an encouraging grin as he climbed into his car.

The race went much better than expected and although Christian was furious that you didn't run the plan through him first, he was satisfied that Seb was currently P1 with a final lap to go. Your nerves were at an all time high throughout the race and you could feel the grin creeping onto your face as the end got closer and closer.

It was when Sebastian crossed the checkered flag that you let out a relieved laugh. “P1 Seb! P1! '' you grinned as you spoke to him through his earpiece.

“Ahhhh thank you, Y/N! Will you and your strategy marry me please?” he laughed

“Congratulations,” you smiled “I’ll see you up on the podium”

You practically ran to the podium with the rest of the team, grinning up at Sebastian as he lifted the trophy into the air and you could almost swear he was grinning right back at you. You clapped and hollered at him and a blush crept up your cheeks when you saw him mouth a “Thank you” in your direction.

* * *

It was inevitable that you and Seb would become close, but you two had a very different relationship compared to the other drivers and their engineers. While the other pairs spent their time going over the car's performance and new strategies, you spent yours pressed up against the wall of your office while Sebastian kissed you with as much force as he could muster. Your most heated and intimate moments were just after a race when he was full of energy and you were full of pride.

Behind closed doors you and Sebastian could almost be compared to lovers, but out in the public eye you two kept things strictly professional, which is why you were full of shock the night that Sebastain had won his title.

The whole Redbull garage and the majority of the drivers went out to celebrate Sebastian as well as an amazing season. You had congratulated him at the start of the night, you shared a quick kiss when you were sure nobody was looking and he had bought you a drink. You hadn't seen him since, however and spent the last few hours talking to random drivers and team principals.

You almost jumped out of your skin when you felt two hands land firmly on your waist. You turned your head to see a tipsy Sebastian Vettel smiling at you with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. “And there's the main man himself,” you giggled as you turned around to face him.

“I missed you,” he blurted out as his hands travelled dangerously low for a public event.

“Did you?” you asked “you're the one that disappeared for an hour” you continued as you tapped his chest.

“Kimi wanted to take shots,” he grinned as one hand moved to cup your bum.

“Sebastian!” you scolded as you swatted his hand away.

“What? It's not like i've never done that before”

“Well yeah, but-but not in public’ you whispered as you looked around, wondering if anyone had noticed the exchange between the two of you.

“I want you,” Sebastian declared, suddenly looking much more sober as he stared into your eyes.

“Let's take this conversation outside” replied as you took a step away from him. Sebastian sighed as he took your hand and led you out the doors, he didn’t care who saw as you both walked by, he didn’t care about anything anymore, he was sick of hiding his feelings for you from everyone. He wanted people to know you were his, he wanted to hold your hand in the paddocks and kiss you for good luck before a race.

Sebastain could feel his heart hammering in his chest as you paced back and forth in front of him, your hands rubbing your arms for warmth. He took a step towards you and grabbed your face with his hands. “Look at me. I want to make us official” you opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off “No listen to me. I need to say this. i don't want to sneakily glance at you during meetings anymore. I want to marry you one day. God! I want to marry you, Y/N! Is that not obvious?”

“Ok” you spoke, a blush rose to your cheeks and you cheekily grinned at him.

‘What?” Sebastian stuttered

“Let's make it official”.

* * *

You and Sebastian had been publicly dating for a little over a year and you were beyond happy. It was currently his birthday and you woke up early to make him breakfast. You both had celebrated the night before and you had to admit you were still sore but you wanted his day to be as special as him.

Sebastian tossed and turned in his sleep, frowning as he felt the cold sheets next to him instead of your warm body. His eyes fluttered open as his eyebrows furrowed. A smile soon made its way onto his face as he smelt the heavenly scent of breakfast. He turned to stand up but immediately sat back down at the sound of your voice. “No! Dont get up!” you pleaded and he laughed at the sight of you struggling to hold the breakfast tray in your hands.

“You shouldn't have, liebe” he muttered as he helped you place the breakfast tray on the bed.

“Maybe” you shrugged as you sat down next to him, “but I wanted to, now go on! Try it!” you encouraged as you practically shoved the plate into his face.

“Okay, okay” he laughed as he defensively put his hands up. You watched him as he put a fork full of food into his mouth, his eyes involuntarily shut as a quiet moan left his mouth. “Mmm marry me” he said once he swallowed the food.

“Is it okay?” you asked nervously as you played with your hands, it was your first time cooking for him and although it was just breakfast, you still wanted to make a good impression.

Sebastians head flipped in your direction, a shocked look plastered on his face. “It's better than okay, darling. Thank you. I love it. I love you”

Your heart fluttered once you heard those three words come out of his mouth. You grinned so hard that your cheeks began to hurt. “Oh god, please say something” he pleaded and he began to think that he spoke those words too soon.

“I love you, Sebastian” you spoke as you wrapped your arms around him and straddled his hips, placing kisses all over his face before finally collecting your lips.

* * *

It was yours and Sebastains anniversary but you both had decided that you wouldn't do anything special, you were just going to get takeout and watch a movie.

You pulled into the house with the food in your hands. You unlocked the door and called out to your boyfriend, “Honey, I’m home!” you joked, locking the doors behind you kicking your shoes off. You placed the food on the table next to the door and turned around, the sight in front of you shocking you as you let out a loud gasp.

Sebastian was kneeling on the floor with a ring in his hand, rose petals littered around him. You couldn't focus on the gorgeous dinner he had laid out on the table or the sweet music playing on the radio, you could only look at his glossy eyes and nervous face.

“Y/N, darling, I love you. I think i've loved you since I first laid eyes on you on that racetrack.” he laughed and looked down at the floor before connecting his eyes with yours again,”You have been with me through my lowest lows and my highest highs and somehow still manage to look at me with a glimmer in your eyes. There's nothing I can’t do with you by my side. So i’m asking-no-i'm practically begging you to finally marry me, for real this time. Will you do me the honours and become my wife?”

You nodded at him with tears in your eyes as you took small steps towards him. “I want to hear you say it, liebe”

“Yes, Sebastian! Of course I’ll marry you”

#Sebastian Vettel imagine #f1 imagine #formula 1 imagine #Sebastian vettel #f1 #Sebastian Vettel imagines #formula 1 x reader

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writing-blog-iguess · 3 years

Note

Hi, can I request a fluff and angst fanfic about Damian x female reader? In which they're into an engagement mainly for business, but Y/N was insecure about it because she's a chubby cinnamon roll (which she didn't realise at all), and she felt left out by the entire Bat family. And so, during a true or dare between entire Batfam and their friends, Jon asked for Damian's type and he reply almost like a hint about Y/N, leaving his teammates wanting to see Y/N. They did later saw her, but somehow one of them said they didn't know Damian would fall into love with this kind of girl, which hurt Y/N unconsciouy and she ended up wanting to end the engagement. Damian chased after her and calm her down with Harley and Ivy Poison stop by and scolding the entire Batfam and League of how much they made their little angel felt leftout and threaten dear Robin that they would hunt him down if he's not gonna say anything clearly!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I really like Harley Quinn and Ivy Poison!!!!

I'm so sorry for how long this took me, but I couldn't stop thinking about it when I read this request! Anyways, I hope this is what you were looking for and I hope you enjoy it!

Life wasn’t fair, she knew this. Had known this as she grew up. But there was a small part of her that hoped that life would go her way once she was old enough to make her own choices.

But that hope was stomped down when she started high school and her parents planned out her future. The only good thing she got out of it, was that she was allowed to pick her minor when it was time to start university.

Throughout the years, she avoided the questions from the press and her friends when she suddenly became friends with Damian Wayne. The only ones to know about the arranged marriage between the two, were her family and the Wayne’s.

It was in an agreement that when they finished school, they would announce their engagement.

There was nothing wrong with it, but as she started to get to know the Wayne’s, she felt a little out of place. Like there was an inside joke or something that she wasn’t allowed to know. She knew people had secrets, she even had secrets. But sometimes it hurts.

Laugher broke through her thoughts, blinking at her phone. She dialed a friend’s number and brought the phone to her ear. As she waited for them to pick up, she couldn’t help but overhear the group of boys’ conversation.

“I didn’t think he’d actually answer,” someone said, after his laughter died down.

“Well, the rules say he had to answer so,” another said with a shrug.

“I’m more surprised by the type of girls Damian’s into.” She frowned, and watched them from the corner of eye. They must be some of Damian’s friends, she thought.

“You mean like that?” someone asked, gesturing to her. She frowned and furrowed her eyebrows as she listened to them talk.

She hung her head as her mood soured as they continued talking. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t the prettiest looking, but she never thought Damian would be so swallow to go for someone that wasn’t her.

“Pumpkin,” a voice said, shaking her out of her thoughts. “You there?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah I am,” she answered, shaking her head and shifting her eyes forward. “I uh, I’m going to have to do a rain check tonight. Something came up.”

“Sure, I’ll tell Red. Let us know when you can, okay?”

“I will, thanks Harls.”

Later that day, she stood in front of the mirror, turned to look at her body. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t the skinniest or the prettiest person. But she liked to think her personality more then made up her looks.

And well, she never really talked to Damian about it. Why he had agreed to marry her, or at the least, broke it off if she wasn’t someone he wasn’t into.

She tugged her shirt down and sighed. Maybe it was time to end it. It’s been nine years since the start of the engagement, and it wasn’t fair to Damian for being sucked into her parents' deals.

Making up her mind, she brought out some paper and pen and began writing. Once she finished, she stuffed it in an envelope, along with the ring and sealed it. Making a quick decision, she grabbed her keys and left for Wayne Manor.

When she arrived, she spent a few minutes just sitting in the car, wondering if she’d have to talk to Damian. That was the last thing she needed, for him to talk her out of it.

Taking a deep breath, she climbed out of the car and made her way towards the door. She reached out and knocked on the door. She rocked on her feet as she waited, hoping Alfred would be the one to answer.

And her hopes were answered when she saw the family butler standing in the doorway. “Miss L/N, I wasn’t aware that you were dropping by. Shall I go announce that you’re here?”

“That’s okay Allred, I only came to drop something for Damian,” she answered with a small smile.

“I’m afraid he isn’t here at the moment,” he said, and she sighed in relief.

“That’s fine,” she said, and held up the envelope for him to take. “Can you, uh, can you give this to him when he gets back?”

Alfred frowned at the envelope she held, and she looked down. She was getting a little uncomfortable under his stare, and wondered if he'd say something that would change her mind.

“Of course,” he said, taking the envelope from her grasp. “Is there something you’d wish for me to tell him?”

“That’s okay,” she said, looking up to him. He gave her a sad smile and wondered if he knew what was inside. “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you around Alfred. And thank you for everything.”

“My pleasure, Miss L/N. I hope to see you soon,” he replied. She hesitated and stepped forward to give him a hug. He tensed at first and returned it, squeezing her a little tightly. “I’m sure you’ll be missed.”

“Thanks.”

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks since she wrote the letter, two weeks of ignoring Damian’s attempts to talk. Two weeks of listening to her mother whine about the broken engagement, and her father’s belittling her about how she ruined everything. Two weeks of Harley and Ivy pestering her until she finally told them why.

“But you love him!” Harley exclaimed, moving to sit beside Y/N on the couch. “I don’t understand why you ended it, Pumpkin.”

Y/N rubbed her face and sighed, wishing they would just drop it. But they didn’t and kept going. “Because look at me!” she finally snapped. Moving off the couch, she faced the two and gestured to herself.

“I don’t look like someone Damian would marry! I’m not pretty or…or…I’m not a supermodel. And besides, I feel like I don’t even fit in with the Wayne family. I mean, look at the family. They all have looks and great personalities, they’re fun and adventurous, and their lives are amazing. And then...and then there’s me who’s just boring and average who could care less about adventure. I’m just...meh.”

She paused, wrapping her arms around her waist, trying to make herself small. It’s the first time she said her thoughts out loud. It felt a little freeing, but it still hurt.

“The only reason why we were even engaged was for a stupid business deal my dad struck with Bruce Wayne. I would like to add that Mr. Wayne didn’t even look that interested in the arrangement, and neither did Damian,” she finished, deflating a little. Finally telling someone about the arrangement.

“Oh flower,” Ivy said, standing up and pulling her into a hug. “If he can’t love you for who you are or only cares about looks, then he doesn’t deserve you. You should marry for love, so you made the right choice.”

She rested her head on Ivy and sighed. “But it wouldn’t have been a loveless marriage,” she whispered, “I love him, it would make it a one-sided loveless marriage.”

She felt Harley join the hug and she closed her eyes as tears started to form.

“You never cared about your looks before,” Harley mused, playing with Y/N’s hair. “What brought this on?”

Y/N opted to stay quiet and shook her head. Ivy called her name and she sighed. She knew they wouldn’t stop until she answered, and she was afraid of what they would do. This time, Harley called her name, but firmer. “Okay fine, but you can’t do anything stupid.”

Harley scoffed and pulled away to poke Y/N’s nose. “When have I ever?” She gave Harley a look and she just giggled. “Okay, so maybe there were a few times but I’m not letting you off the hook. So, spill.”

She rubbed her face and groaned. “I overheard Damian’s friends talk about how they couldn’t see him falling in love with someone like me. And they're right, I’m fat, and plain looking.”

“You are not fat,” Ivy said, narrowing her eyes. “You’re a little chuddy yes, but you're healthy and that’s all anyone can ask for.”

“What she said,” Harley agreed as she walked out of the room. She came back a moment later with her mallet. “Come on Red, we’ve got work to do.”

“What? No!” she called as the two made their way to the door. “You promised!” But it fell on deaf ears as she watched her two parental figures leave the apartment. Mumbling a string of curses, she took out her phone and sent out a message.

Damian ignored everyone in the room, and frowned at his phone. He stared at the two words like it was mocking him. It’d been two weeks of silence from her and the first words she sends him is I’m sorry?

Scoffing, he typed out a reply and just before he could press send, the door slammed open.

There was a collective gasp around the room as they watched two of Gotham’s sirens walk into the living room.

“Man, and here I thought we were going to have a quiet night,” Garth complained, leaning back against the couch.

“That’s what you get when you say ‘sure is a quiet night,’” Jon mocked, Garth made a face at him but chose not to say anything.

“What do you want, Harley?” Bruce asked tiredly. Damian had a faint feeling that this isn’t the first time Harley barged into the manor.

Harley pointed her mallet at the boys and smirked as they squirmed a little. Damian narrowed his eyes, wondering if there’s going to be a fight or not.

“A little birdie told me that you are making fun of girls like Y/N,” she said. Damian’s eyes widened in surprise. They knew Y/N? But she’s never mentioned that. But then again, there are things he hasn’t told her yet.

“Y/N?” Wally asked, confused. He wasn’t the only one, one look around the room told Damian that no one knew who she was talking about. “Don’t know who that is.”

“Mhm, that’s okay. She knows who you are though. And she’s told us what you’ve said,” Harley continued, “about how you don’t see Damian marrying someone who’s chubby, who is a bit self-conscious about who they are. Which leads me…” she trailed off and pointed her mallet at the Wayne boys.

They narrowed their eyes and watched closely to see what she might do next. Their eyes were especially on Ivy. She hasn’t said much during Harley’s speech. But her glare spoke volumes.

“Why is it whenever Y/N comes home from hanging out with Damian and everyone here, she’s sad?” Harley asked, and the boys widened as they realized who they were talking about.

“You’re talking about Y/N? Damian’s fiancé?” Jason asked. Wally, Gath and Jon’s head whipped around to look at Damian.

“You’re engaged?!”

Damian chose to ignore them and narrowed his eyes at the two. “What do you mean she’s sad? And how do you know?”

“Exactly that,” Ivy said with a shrug. “She didn’t tell us until today, but we knew there was something wrong. Said that she felt like she didn’t fit in, like you just didn’t care that she was there.”

Okay, so she didn’t say it in so many words, but that’s what Ivy got out of it.

She watched and listened as the Wayne boys tried to defend themselves. She raised her hand and they stopped talking.

“Is that why she ended the engagement?” Damian asked.

“She did what?” Damian’s brothers asked in unison. He didn’t answer and Ivy nodded.

“Better go fix it, baby bird,” Harley said, pointing at Damian.

Not needed to be told twice, Damian stood and left, ignoring the protest of his friends and family. He chuckled when he heard the groans of everyone as Harley and Ivy started their lecture on why you shouldn’t talk bad about people you don’t know.

It’s been twenty minutes since Ivy and Harley left, and she can’t help but wonder what they’re doing. She had almost followed them, but decided against it. She’ll wait until they get back for the answers.

A knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts, and she looked up from her book in confusion. Harley and Ivy would have just walked in, and she wasn’t expecting anyone to come over.

Setting the book on the couch, she got up and made her way to the door. Her eyes narrowed as she saw who it was through the peephole. She bit her lip and debated on whether or not she should open the door.

“I know you’re in there, Y/N,” Damian said. He sounded tired, like he hasn’t been sleeping lately. “Can I come in, please? We need to talk.”

Sighing, she unlocked the door. He looked as tired as he sounded. She stepped aside and waited until he was inside before closing the door.

“You didn’t tell me you knew Harley and Ivy,” he said after a few minutes of silence. She shrugged, keeping her attention on the door as she answered him.

“I met them when I was in grade 10,” she mumbled, “was running from someone and I asked for their help. Since then, they’ve kind of adopted me.”

“Do your parents know?”

She shook her head. “I don’t think they would care.”

Damian snorted, turning around to look at her. She was still refusing to look at him. “I think they would care if their only daughter was hanging around with Gotham’s most wanted.”

“No, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t,” she argued. “They were the ones who signed my life away. I mean, the whole engagement was because of a business deal.” She hadn’t meant to, but she let the bitterness seep into her voice. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter anyways.”

Damian flinched as she dismissed it, and reached out to grab her arm. She tensed but didn’t pull away, Damian took that as a good sign, and turned her around. She let him, but kept her gaze on his chest.

“My friends are stupid,” Damian stated, surprising her. “We were playing truth or dare and I was asked what my type of a girl was. I didn’t think your first meeting with them would end our engagement. I wished you would have talked to me about it though, instead of that.”

She hung her in shame. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I just, I don’t know. On top of what your friends said, and the whole arranged marriage thing, I didn’t want to marry someone who doesn’t love me back.”

She froze when she realized what she said. She shut her eyes, and covered her face with her hands, willing the flush on her cheeks to go away. But it didn’t.

“You love me?” Damian asked, and she could hear the smirk. She didn’t say anything, she just nodded. “Why didn’t you say anything?” She shrugged. Damian huffed out a laugh, and gently pried her hands off her face. When she still didn’t look up, he grabbed her chin and tilted her head up. “I love you too.”

Her eyes snapped open, and she stared at him dumbfounded. He gave her a soft smile and leaned forward a little, resting his forehead on hers. “I love the way you are now, and I wouldn’t change anything about you.”

“Do you really mean that?” she asked quietly. So quietly, he almost didn’t catch it. He nodded.

“With all my heart.”

She looked at him, looking to see if he was lying. When all she found was the truth, she closed the distance and kissed him. She bundled up his shirt as he cupped her cheeks gently. She put all her love into that kiss, and he eagerly matched her pace.

When they needed air, she pulled back and smiled when he followed after her.

“So, does that mean we can get married now?” Damian asked. She pretended to think about it, and he poked her sides a little.

“I guess so,” she answered with a laugh. He pulled her into a hug, which she returned, nuzzling her face in his shirt. “Are we still waiting until we’re done with school?”

“Would give us time to get to know each other. Really get to know each other,” he added when she was about to say something. “And maybe this time around, you’ll feel like you fit in with my family.”

“Wow, they left nothing out, did they?” she questioned. Damian chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “I love you, Damian.”

“I love you too.”

#damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x fem!reader #damian wayne #bruce wayne #harley quinn #poison ivy #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #wally west #jon kent #garth logan #beastboy #batman imagine #dc imagine #requested by anon #my writing

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