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chrollohearttags · 3 months

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long winded ass post I contemplated not writing but did it anyways. read if you’d like or ignore lmao.

so I feel as though this kind of goes without saying but a lot has changed on tumblr and the vibe has shifted a lot, sadly, not for the better either :/ I thought about this for a while and although last week, I was not posting any new content due to the strike, I’ve decided to step away from writing in general after this month. I could sit here and go on a tangent about how it’s the ‘algorithm’ and ‘dying fandoms’ but to me, this boils down to the fact that I refuse to exhaust myself to be unappreciated + disrespected. That’s not to say I’m ungrateful to everyone who reblogs and comments on my works all the time because I am incredibly grateful! I love each of you and I look forward to reading your tags/thoughts. However, it’s not lost on me that the anime fandom in general is becoming shrouded in toxicity and many of us are being pushed away. We’re in an age where people are seen as content machines and not humans so others feel entitled to their art and feel no need to be kind, understanding or empathetic to that person’s feelings. I’m not wasting my time trying to teach people manners that they should’ve learned a long time ago. I refuse to share my craft with people like that. And to say the quietest part out loud: y’all don’t want black writers around, PERIOD. One scroll through the dash shows that much. As someone who’s written primarily for AOT (not changing btw) and specifically the black side of the fandom, it’s almost laughable at the extreme lengths that ppl have gone through to see it be erased. And I don’t mean getting fics hit with labels or reporting (that failed so they switched to plan B.) since I began back writing in 2020-21, it was obvious that it was the most popular among black girls and I remember ppl telling me to write for them. Hell, it’s the sole reason I even watched. Needless to say, I fell in love with the show and it holds a special place in my heart. However, I realized I didn’t need any of the original material. Not only that, in all the years I’ve been writing, it’s the first time I’ve seen so many black girls resonating and happy with a group of characters. It was the first and only time I’ve seen stories where I didn’t feel as though them being a black character was a hidden secret or toned down to appeal to others (no shade). It was in my face and proud, even if I didn’t personally resonate with the reader or concept of the story. It still felt good coming from a fandom where I was literally the ONLY black writer in it. Fast forward and I clearly see that now, it’s not welcomed. We could sit here and blame it on non-blk (yt) having the problems but that’s a load of bullshit and the only enemies we have are one another. It’s been other black writers who have littered the tags with discourse abt the same stupid topic to avoid new fics being seen. It’s been other black writers who have switched fandoms when they were no longer the ONLY ones bc coexisting is just too damn hard apparently. It’s been other black authors who have made it blatantly clear that they are only interested in seeing and creating stories that are palatable to other races so they won’t be perceived in a negative light or to be seen as one of the ‘good ones’. Even down to not using black reader tags or avoiding coded language. So much so, they are comfortable laughing at anti-black rhetoric being pushed on other apps so as long as their new favs are not the brunt of the joke.

I’m not here to tell anybody how or what to write. I’m not here to say you ONLY have to like one show but what I am saying is that i will NOT be spending hours and days agonizing over a fic for it to be minimized to a joke for a bitch on TikTok. I will not spend the little free time I have trying to crunch and finish a fic for it not do well but watch y’all pile in my mentions to argue over nonsense. And I won’t sit here and watch y’all purposely try to run other black writers away bc they don’t fit ur aesthetic. Fiction is fiction and whether you resonate with it or not, it’s expression. I’m a boring ass country bumpkin from the middle of nowhere, Florida who’s got social anxiety, chronically ill, neurodivergent and is in bed by 10:00. I don’t smoke, never had sex and I literally never leave the house unless I’m grocery shopping. I never have and never will live the life of any of my characters, even the most tame ones. But I write for EVERY black girl and want everyone of them to be seen. The one space where that seems to be allowed is obviously not welcomed anymore. Arguing and trying to defend ourselves against people who are committed to misunderstanding us is pointless. Minimizing us down to ‘baby mama’, ‘hoodrat’ fics, simply bc you no longer like certain characters (many of which you all were writing for not too long ago) is quite frankly clown and coon ass behavior. Watching y’all become enraged by tropes that are used by ever race, every fandom, etc but turning the blind eye bc it suits ur narrative is fucking hypocritical and laughable at best.

I’m not insecure in my writing. Never have been and never will be. I know I pour everything I have into creating the best work I can and it’s for that reason that I won’t allow it to be treated like trash. I have over 250 drafts in my Google docs and best believe, that’s where they’ll stay until I see fit. Although I know it’ll probably mean leaving the last place I have any sense of community and social interaction in general, it’s not worth coming on here angry everyday in defense mode. Its not worth getting out of my character over and I rather just not be around if it means I have to play mean girl. My mind may change and all of this will just have been me getting shit off my chest but as of right now, this account will be archived come February 28th. Thank you to everybody who’s supported me this far and gave me a safe space. I love all of you so very much and hope that we can enjoy the rest of this month together 🫶🏾 🤍

#cherry chats 🍒#tw rant #tw discourse #tw long post #happy black history month lmao #writing #fanfic writer

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mysicklove-main · 11 months

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A/N: Tanjiro writing to his long distance partner bc thats so cute and im in love with him

My Beloved,

I feel as though a part of me is missing without you by my side. I find myself constantly looking for you, even though it’s no use. Oh how dearly I wish you were here. But even so, I feel at peace knowing you are at home and well rested. Safe from harm.

I can’t contain my questions. So please make do with my ramblings.

How are you? Are you sleeping well? Do you feel lonely at home? Have you been keeping busy? Has Shinobu been visiting you? Where Has your hair grown out since my absence? You haven’t been going out at night, right? Is your finger still bare?

I’ve been growing quite worried with the time apart. I feel as though you may find another if I leave for too long.

I’m sorry, I know you would scold me for thinking these things. I wish desperately that I could hear your scolding. But I can’t stop the thoughts that creep on me in the night.

Nezuko is doing fine. She’s getting stronger by the day. She misses you immensely. It’s strange to see how uneasy she is without you. I don’t blame her. I wonder, if you were

Inosuke and Zenitsu are also getting stronger. I hope I can keep up with them. I train day in and out hoping to not fall behind. I think I am getting stronger. I have been working on Hinokami Kagura. It drains my body, but still I push forward. I have to master it, even if it is such a slow process.

At night I find myself daydreaming. Maybe one day you could call your husband lover a hashira. Would we live together peacefully? Or would I be gone on missions like these? I don’t think I could bear to leave you for long. It’s so hard t But I am getting ahead of myself. I am only doing this to save Nezuko. And of course to protect you! I don't need to become a hashira.

I hope my crow has been delivering the gifts properly. I wish I could see the way your eyes light up when you receive them. I’m trying not to let the separation get to me, but when I think about these moments it’s always so hard.

I’m getting distracted again, I apologize my love. The crow should have delivered you the jewelry box. A kind woman sold it to me, and please don’t worry! I promise that it was fairly priced! I hope through its journey that it didn’t get chipped. But I know you don’t care about those things. Either way, I hope you use it well.

My beloved, I do have a favor to ask of you. I hope this is not too much to ask, but the same woman from the market told me about something that cannot seem to leave my head. She explained that many soldiers from the Meiji period used to tie fabric from their lover's kimono around the hem of their sword. It was a symbol of good luck, and that they will always be together no matter the distance between them.

I thought it was…romantic. It made my cheeks burn at the thought. I really I would love if I understand completely if you don’t want to tear a part off. But I can’t explain the joy I would feel if you did. I would treasure it dearly.

I have been avoiding the real reason I wrote this letter and I can’t go on without saying it. Oh, my love, I miss you dearly. I miss the scent of you. I miss your smile, your laugh. I miss waking up to you every morning, that vision never seems to leave my mind. I miss your voice, your touch. I desperately crave it.

I’m sorry. A man shouldn’t act like that. Tengen left his wives for months, and was completely fine. I wish I could do the same. It’s been five weeks and the fight seems to dwindle in me without you here.

I’m trying though. I won’t give up. I will make it home to you and then I swear I’ll never leave you again.

A couple more weeks until I am home. The thought of you in my arms once again makes me feel dizzy with need. I will come back safely for you.

So please, my everything, please take care of yourself. I can’t bear the thought of you being unwell. Please stay safe and don’t walk alone at night. Please eat lots and sleep well.

I will write to you next week with more updates. I promise the next one will be less about me and more about you. I want to hear everything about how you are doing.

I await for your reply, and hopefully the fabric.

I love you more than words can describe.

Forever yours,

Tanjiro

#this was so fun to write #tanjiro drabbles #letter writing #tanjiro x reader #tanjiro kamado #demon slayer tanjiro #tanjirou x reader #x reader #reader insert #kny fluff #kny x read #tanjiro fluff #tanjiro kamado fluff #tanjiro kamado fanfic #tanjiro kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba #fluff #i think if i hit 1k imma write personal letters from characters to my followers #mello.writes

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cakeboxie · 2 months

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I think the reason Halsin and Zevlor (and Jaheria but I don’t post about her often) appeal to me so much as characters is bc they’re old and queer. Halsins varied queerness is an inherent fact of his character, and I heavily hc Zev as a cis gay man and jaheria as a straight transfem.

I only recently realized why I like that so much, it’s because it’s incredibly likely I won’t get old.

Tw. Death, graphic descriptions of chronic illness, mention of genocide, violence fuelled by bigotry.

I’m kinda just rambling in hopes that maybe someone like me will get comfort from knowing that they’re not alone.

I’m mixed, visibly queer, physically disabled, chronically ill and poor in an extremely conservative area. One of my only clear memories before 2016 is being told I wouldn’t live to see 13 bc of all the things wrong with me. I could drop dead from any number of physical issues, I could be killed for being queer, I could be murdered as a “joke” (this whole thing was prompted by an article about a group of teenagers who pushed a wheelchair user to her death in front of a train a few months back bc they thought it was funny. I was at the exact station where it happened, in my wheelchair, waiting for the train.) because I’m supposed to use a mobility aid, which means murder is okay, apparently.

I don’t know any old queers either, I’m not fond of adult themed events but there was a time when I forced myself to go anyway. Just to see people who really and truly lived.

And there was no one.

I know why there wasn’t, but still.

The oldest queer person I’ve ever known was 37, and 39 when she was murdered.

I suppose I just want to hope that someone like me will be able to grow old, and be truly and completely happy.

A part of me is guilty about that, in a weird sort of way. Be the change you want to see in the world and what have you, but I quite literally can’t.

Protests rarely stay peaceful here bc of pigs (cops) and violence fueled by bigotry. I cannot move fast enough to get away.

I can’t afford to donate, I have to live with two people who are, frankly, incredibly bad for my mental health bc this province believes $500 a month covers rent (if I had to pay rent and not just utilities my third would be close to $600 with 3 people in a 2 bedroom, we could not find a cheaper place.)

I do my daily clicks for Palestine (one on each device + in incognito), I keep myself as up to date as I can handle without breaking down. (Particularly genocide is something that has been a constant in my life, Ukrainian/indigenous, somehow both the 2nd generation to be born in Canada and the 2nd generation to be born off the reserve. I physically cannot handle reading about it without making myself legitimately sick a lot of the time, I’m guilty about that too.)

My silly little pngs don’t have to worry about that. They’re only sad when I say they are, otherwise they are happy and they are loved. Loved in a way I can’t even understand, really. I don’t know what it’s like to sit on a counter and kiss my partner while I’m cooking, I don’t know what it’s like to be domestic. It feels weird and edgy to say but it’s true, I don’t know what life is like without pain and exhaustion and struggle. I have fought tooth and nail to make myself a safe space and still it does not exist outside myself. I have exactly 10.2 square meters that are truly safe, and even when I am safe I am in pain, my joints ache and dislocate and fight me when I try to move.

So I draw my silly little pngs, and hope that someone will eventually be happy like that. Because even when everyone is shitty hope is really fucking important. And I can do that, dear gods I can hope. As hard as I can I hope for change.

#should I put character tags on this?#idk man #I want to #bc I want people to see it and know that there are other people #like them/like me #but also #the wider fandom scares me #with how they treat Halsin and Wyll particularly #ik wyll isn’t a focus of this post but he could be very easily included #bc I also don’t see queer poc #I know why that is (queer spaces here are still extremely racist)#I wish I had the means to change that #anyway #cakewrites #bg3 halsin #bg3 zevlor #jaheria

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vacantgodling · 2 years

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i couldn’t sleep so have these gays and im gonna force myself to dream about them

wip: vampires don’t take road trips

character(s): darren de leon (mc/pov), gabriel “gabe” batari ; mentions of other characters

warnings: none! just confused gays being dudes! tl;dr darren is bi and thinks gabe is playing hard to get and gets a lil annoyed bc he doesn’t get why gabe won’t take the bait. in actuality, gabe is actually demi and has not experienced feelings for anyone before so clams up when directly flirted with. they like each other they just need to communicate lmao. chaos ensues.

early autumn skies and getting closer to someone you’re painfully attracted to…

The city lights were brighter than the stars out here, so far away from them.

I’d offered to take first watch since I don’t sleep anyway. My eyes continued to sweep across the desert surrounding around us, seeking anything unusual but finding nothing. I’d never been to a place before that didn’t rain; even in a brief trip to California summers and summers ago, I remembered the all-encompassing sheets of moisture that cut Dave and I’s trip to Disneyland short.

I wouldn’t say that I was surprised when Gabe came out to sit next to me. The novelty of it though, lingered. He should’ve sat further from me if he didn’t want our shoulders to brush; the nagging suspicion that he purposefully underestimated his broad wingspan to be in my proximity was growing stronger with every incident. I didn’t turn to face him right away, instead I kept admiring how I could pluck out the sheen of metal of a lone street lamp at the edge of the city from here.

“Not smoking?” He finally asked. I huffed out a laugh through my nose. What a conversationalist. “I ran out of weed two days ago. I don’t even think it’s legal in this state.” I glanced at him. His golden eyes were trained on me, little attentive crescent moons, like always. I looked back towards the city. “But, I think I’m starting to feel the merits of being sober.” I was giving him an “in.” As usual, Gabe didn’t take my bait. “I think Marco has some. Weed, I mean.”

“Yeah? That’s his stash though.” Growing bored of the city and not wanting to look at Gabe yet, I flopped on my back to study the stars. I didn’t know shit about astrology. I could probably ask Vlad and he’d name every constellation. Demi would probably bitch about his storytelling. The thought made me smile.

“Slacking off?” Gabe’s voice brought me back, I hadn’t realized I’d closed my eyes. I looked up at him where he was peering at me with a grin and bumped my shoulder against his knee. “I got you here keeping watch with me, big guy. You’re only enabling me.”

“Should I head back to the tent?” He asked. I could tell he was pretending to be unamused, I saw the tiny sliver of his mouth quirk up into a grin before his lips turned back into a frown. Brooders gotta brood. Either way, it was fun pressing buttons to see which one would break his facade. I was winning regardless.

“You wouldn’t.” I said, matter-of-fact. Gabe snorted, yet, he made no effort to move. Instead, he grasped my elbow with his free hand and gave it a light squeeze. “You’re right.” He met my eyes, then blindsided me with a devilish grin. “I don’t trust you.”

“Okay, rude.” I put my hand to my chest, but I couldn’t tell if it was in indignation or to keep my heart from rabbiting out of it. “First of all, what have I done to ever make you distrust me?”

“Tried to bite me when we first met, for one.” I rolled my eyes. “I thought we were past that Gabe, baby.” I gave him my best puppy dog eyes and ignored the way the tips of his ears turned pink. “You can’t keep holding that over me—you smell too good. Even Vlad agrees!”

“Keep your fangs to yourself.” He poked my cheek. I lunged at his finger for a nibble, but he pushed his hand against my face to keep me back.

“You really want me to keep them to myself?” I pushed myself up on my elbows to give Gabe my best, suggestive-yet-unimpressed stare. But as usual, whenever my flirting attempts got too bold, he stonewalled me. I cursed myself in the only language I knew when I saw his easy mask slide back into place, his grin dropping like ice shards. And he’d opened up enough to smile dammit—! Frustrated, I huffed, blowing stray bangs from my face.

“Do you get off on torturing me or something?” And he had the gall to look confused. “You’re really gonna make me say it?”

“Say what?” He asked.

“Oh you fucking— Don’t worry about it.” I waved my hand, dismissing it. I couldn’t do this conversation right now, and it wasn’t fair for me to get mad at him. Maybe he didn’t know how I felt—what I meant—and I was looking too far into things. I was being pretty obvious but it wouldn’t be the first time. This time would just hurt more.

I’d get over it.

Sensing my irritation, Gabe decided not to say anything. We sat in silence for a long, long moment.

He surprised me by breaking the silence first. It started with a point.

“Do you see that star there?” I turned my gaze back up to the sky, following his finger to a particularly small but bright cluster. It was hard to make out each individual element; they must be stars further out and even with my vampire enhanced eyes, my innate humanness bogged down my clear view. Still, I peered for a moment longer, then nodded. “My mother tells me she was born somewhere around there.” I looked to Gabe in surprise. It was easy to forget; how Earthbounds like the rest of us were truly on a different scale. Even though I struggled to see those stars, did Gabe see them clearly? Unclouded, with eyes meant to see through the depths of space. Only hindered by the Earth’s unusual gravity and atmosphere? Did he feel a sense of longing for out there… or was he content since this was all he knew? I wet my lips, searching for something to say. “Is it… common for Celestials to be born here?”

“On Earth? No.” Gabe wasn’t looking at me, and somehow it felt like the wrong thing to ask. “I’m… pretty rare, I guess.” He shrugged, then seemed to think for a moment. “… Where were you born?”

“Me?” A startled laugh I couldn’t help bubbled from my throat. “I um… New York, I think? Actually—“ I scrunched up my brow. “I don’t know. Dave hasn’t told me much about it and I haven’t really asked Liz. But New York feels right. It’s where most of my early memories are, anyway.”

“I was surprised when Vlad told me you lived there.” Gabe met my eyes again. The smile he gave me this time was softer, more genuine. He really was going to make my heart beat out from behind my ribs. “You don’t really have much of an accent.”

“Really? I’ve been told I sound like a New Yawker.” I beamed when I saw the hints of a smile tug at his lips again. “You expecting me to sound like a 50’s mobster or something?” His laugh was soft, but bright. The moon was envious. “Maybe. That’s all my knowledge of New York.”

“I’ll take you someday.” Once this is over. “You’ll hate it. It’s so loud and full of people.” Gabe rolled his eyes, but it looked fond. “Great.”

“Where were you born?”

Our conversation strayed until near dawn. Covering every topic from our birth places and dates (I can’t understate how elated I was when I found out his birthday is 4 days after mine. That, and the way Gabe deadpanned when I told him my birthday was April 20th—I wish I had Awilda’s camera), to the desert, plants, more vampire lessons. I wasn’t even tired when Vlad came stumbling out of the tent, rubbing his eyes from sleep, to let us know we could go back in the tent to rest. Moonglend and Awilda were going to find breakfast. I ruffled his hair when I passed, and his tired smile spread a comfortable warmth throughout my body in the form of minute tingles.

“Sweet dreams.” I told Gabe over my shoulder once I settled down into Vlad’s vacant sleeping bag. He didn’t say anything back, so I closed my eyes, settling down to sleep.

I was sure I imagined the ghost of warmth across my forehead before I truly drifted off, but at least it’d be a good dream.

#s: darren and co #ren writing #i’m obsessed with them bye #they’re much more sweet and awkward what dumbasses

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has-bg-ended-yet · 1 year

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Hi, I love your blog and your optimism and positivity. Your theory about ending makes totally sense for me. They build it up so much so that the gp and perhaps even some "unsure" fans believe that Louis is F's dad. So after ending bg nobody digs too much in the past. As you said, too much people are involved, too much strong and powerful people who can't be exposed. And of course Larry. To have an emotional Louis in the documentary, who just loves his son so much, and - when bg ends - is so heartbroken that the son is not his, is good for not getting Larry in the spotlight after bg ends.

But there are some things that concern me, and I know you are not blaming Louis and thats okay and I totally respect that. I tried to not blame him aswell but I just can't help myself to blame him sometimes.

The poor kid! The staged hug at LTWTLA, where he puts Fs hand on his shoulder and of course the kiss on the lips. And that he exposed F so much in the last years, I just don't see how he is "forced" to do all this. I think it was Louis decision to do it, or if he didn't decide it and got adviced to do it, he did nothing against it.

I'm very protective over children. I work with 'problematic' kids and its hard to see what trauma and this kind of harm makes with them on a daily base. (Just to be clear - not the kids are the problems, but their experiences and the people they grew up with) I just don't understand how Louis can do something so hurtful to that kid. Perhaps he has to do some of this, but I feel like he is using F, and using kids is such a no go for me, and I think he went too far.

I don't want to be rude or mean but it bothers me a lot bc I love Louis and his music.

I hope you understand my message, english is not my first language.

Hello anon,

Thank you so much for the nice words 💕 And it’s fine, English isn’t my first language either, don’t worry about it!

Answering you, I know the kiss on the lips moment is going to be upsetting for some people and fine for others because of culture, for me it’s upsetting. I don’t like when parents kiss their children on the lips, one member of my family used to do it and I hated it, so I don’t like Louis doing it when it’s not even his kid.

But about blaming Louis, I don’t and I won’t. He was forced in this situation in 2015 and he’s taken control lately, the documentary is his way of taking control of this situation. I don’t know what other options where there to push bg and made it seems more real - pap walks, post on insta, the kid spending more time on UK - I don’t know, but what I think is that Louis wanted to do a documentary and he thought it was the best option for the push. Also, we need to understand we don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes, and this include the documentary too (and I mean, Louis choosing some moments, as the beach and kite moment, so the kid was comfortable but were also good for the push).

But I understand where you’re coming from, I hate to think about the kid discovering all of this in a future. I hope they’ve saved enough money for therapy for the kid because he’s going to need it. And I hope he’s protected in some way after this ends. However, at the end of the day, it’s not Louis fault but the kid’s parents for putting F on this situation. I know people like to talk about breaking contracts and all that, but in this industry, even if you have money, it’s not as easy as people like to say, so I think Louis is doing what he can to protect the kid but also trying to make it look organic and natural (I’m sorry I had to do it lol).

As I’ve said, I know where you’re coming from and I’m not going to tell you how you have to feel or react about this situation, but I can’t blame Louis, even if I don’t agree with what he’s doing. If you need to take some time out or filter the topic or talk less about it or something, do it, take care of yourself first, the fandom will be here when you come back 💕

#I know I say ‘I think’ a lot but just want to make sure that this is my opinion and what I think #that you know this is just my opinion*#and that things can be different or not or some of them #answered

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spacexcowgirl · 3 months

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hi rose!! 🍉🍎🍍

hi cass!! ty :)

🍉 Do you prefer to write short fics or long fics? Multichaptered works or single ones? Why?

OKAY.

short. completely. all the way.

or at least, one shots.

when I joined this fandom, I felt reallyyyy pressured to write long fics bc it seems like that’s all marauders readers want?? so like, with my first fic, I really regret how long it is. like, easily could be 60-80k, but it’s sitting at 112k and has 10 chapters left to go and hasn’t been updated in months (not abandoned tho).

I know myself and I know how my hyperfixations work and while I might solely be stuck on a long story for a month or so, eventually i’ll lose momentum and just. be so mad at myself for it. to the point where I don’t even want to look at the fic anymore.

and this isn’t all to say that I hate my long fics, bc I don’t, and am still really excited for wm&hf and probably would have written it anyway. I just think moving forward I won’t be doing anything over 100k.

🍎 Is there anything you straight-up won’t write?

mmmm i’m sure there’s probably a couple things I wouldn’t write, but it’s hard to think of them yanno. I only want to write what I want to write, and I do really bad with like prompts or requests (aka why I suck at microfics) bc I just. can’t make myself do it, really.

there’s things like dead dove ideas or certain kinks that I wouldn’t be against writing, I just don’t think i’d do them well, so, those don’t really count.

the only two coming to mind are the cheating trope and daddy kink. which are both just my own issues irl that stop me with those. makes it hard to read fics with either tag, too, so I usually end up avoiding them :/ v boring of me and i’m certain there’s really amazing fics that include either, they’re just not for me unfortunately.

🍍 What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with?

oh i’m completely partial to muggle aus in this fandom. remembering all the magic stuff just stresses me out lmao. i’ll read them sometimes, but usually not if they’re still at hogwarts, bc I just don’t really care to read underage fics. also loveeee friends with benefits.

idk if it’s beef necessarily but i’m not going to read any sort of religious au. like general devil/demon au? cool. the second bible quotes start flying and everything else I get flash backs to high school religion class and dip out. tho I think if I liked the fic enough I could definitely push through so, eh. not a ton of beef.

fic writer asks

#ask game #cass tag <3

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eggjaculations · 6 months

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am i the only one that thinks news of someone in rehab is good? like a few of my friends have been to rehab and when they’ve told me i’ve always been like “oh, that’s great! i’m so proud of you for making it thru that, it had to be scary and hard, no? how was it?” bc well…they’re always so embarrassed and i get it, but working on your mental and physical health should never be received with negativity; there’s a stigmatism around having mental (and physical!!!) health issues that has been touched on and recognized recently, and it’s a good thing that we’re working on getting rid of that judgement. but there’s still so much stigmatization around actually working on those issues that it’s sort of plateaued for now. (as more people who struggle with a wider array of issues gain more recognition for those struggles and are listened to by those who do not struggle in the same way—or at all, for that matter; though if that is even the case for most people nowadays is a different conversation—this negativity will slowly cease to continue through general understanding and empathy. we’re getting there, we’ve just stagnated at “acceptance” for now, and an overhaul of the entire system is needed to feel real change for those of us who have been cast out by society for various reasons.)

there’s this weird feeling i get when talking to able-bodied, NT people (usually born more privileged than those around them, also a diff convo tho…) about my struggles with debilitating mental health and reoccurring, chronic physical health issues where they are genuinely absolutely considerate of the fact that i have these issues—until it gets in the way of something they want you or expect you to do. god forbid, they find out you’ve never done it before, no matter what it is, no matter your reasons for turning down the offer. whether you have other obligations to your mental or physical health, (“no, sorry, i can’t come out tonight, i keep a pretty strict schedule for myself so i don’t have panic attacks or relapse, but thank you.” “no, i can’t come hiking, i have to rest my body so i can literally move this coming week.”) or if you simply don’t want to for seemingly no “good” reason (“no, i don’t want to go anywhere or do anything today because i’m feeling mentally overwhelmed, and if i push myself too far, i won’t be able to do the things i need to do tomorrow either, and i’ll end up wasting three days staring at the wall feeling guilty about it.”) it’ll often (not always, duh) be met with push-back and actual toxic positivity instead of support. (“one night won’t kill you! we’ll take care of you, and it’ll be fun, and a great experience!” “exercise is the best medicine! a fun experience will recharge you for the week! it’s only a thirty minute hike anyhow!” “if you come out, you’ll see there’s nothing to be so anxious about! you’ll have fun and forget all about your worries!”) or if you mention you do or avoid certain things along your journey to get you wherever you wanna be that seem weird or menial, they will just laugh it off and ask you if all of that is really necessary (“i don’t think you need to journal every day, do you? i mean, does journaling even actually work? and scheduling time for it seems like overkill, just do it when you remember to!” “what do you mean you don’t play sports? like at all? you’re missing out on sportsmanship and teamwork!”) as if it wasn’t either prescribed to you by a mental health professional or something you physically can’t do.

like… yea, dude. i know it’s a hassle. but when it wasn’t, i wanted to die or stop existing or disappear. i’m where i’m at today not just because i accepted that i had issues to work on, but because it took a lot of fucking work and sacrifice to get here. and my continued existence depends on me continuing to do that work and make those sacrifices for my own sake. it does not depend on whether or not my friends can “keep me safe” from a world i have already been existing in for a while, because i’m an adult, and it’s not their responsibility. people with disabilities aren’t children; they don’t need to be “watched” or “taken care of” if and when they are actively telling you no. i understand the sentiment, and im sure it comes from a great place, but jfc just respect the boundaries people set, not just on you and others, but the ones they set for themselves. those are often the most important ones, and once that foundation starts to crumble, it’s only a matter of time before the rest of the entire system that’s been built up for years starts breaking off and eventually collapses in on itself.

#a very shitty form of peer pressure if i do say so myself.

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roastedbeefed · 2 years

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Vent underneath, just need to get this out

Ughhh I’ve really been feeling like my best friend really isn’t that good of a friend? Like she’s never there for me when I need her, and she refuses to do anything that makes her mildly uncomfortable when it comes to stuff with me (and she’ll do that stuff for other people and won’t even seem bothered by it!)

Like when I want to talk to her about my mental state she immediately shifts the topic to the point where I don’t feel comfortable telling her that stuff anymore but like she’s the only one I have? And she’s told me plenty of heavy stuff that I’ve had to be extremely uncomfortable with but I’m willing to do it anyways because I care about her? I fine with being uncomfortable if it helps her because I’m willing to make small sacrifices (and it’s not like I’m pushing myself too far with those topics either, I can set boundaries in that regard)

She’s gone through a lot over the years and I’ve been there for her every step of the way but I truly can’t think of a time where she was “there” for me, unless I’m explicitly asking her or doing something that makes her upset

And I thought it was just me being selfish? And noting all the bad things about her? And that maybe I was making mistakes too, but upon asking if she thought I ever wasn’t there for her she said no. That I had always been there, even when times where hard. Then she made it a thing where she felt bad that she hasn’t been there for me and I couldn’t even argue bc she was right

Like I can make jokes about being a lesbian on here, but I’m not safe to say that stuff irl, and she’s the only one who really knows, but she shuts down about that stuff too

And she’s let me down so many times and no matter how much I tell her that she’s hurting me she never really gets better, it feels like she’s just stringing me along to help her feel better

And never for a second would I consider cutting her off, she could chop off my head and I’d forgive her before she picked up the ax

It’s just pretty miserable, since people on tumblr are nice but it’s not like I have friend friends that I can open up to you know

I’m not even talking to anyone here but it’s nice to type this out

#vent

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angelplummie · 2 years

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OFFICIAL HAIKYUU TALL GIRL FUCKERS

HAIKYUU X F!READER

smut

masterlist

warnings: size kink, face sitting, L bombs, dirty talk, slightly rough? not even tho, cockwarming, fluffiness

this is for my tall girlies that got rejected by their crush in school bc they were too tall. go fuck yourself gus i hope you die. now there will be some short girl slander here so if ur short and sensitive i recommend you do not read. I’ll repeat myself, no short girl behaviour in my replies por favor.

USHIJIMA

man this dude LOVES tall girls

I may be bias but man look at this dude

i think he would just generally want someone closer to his height, he doesn’t get off to his s/o being smaller than him at all

if anything, if they were too much smaller it might ick him out a bit, he would feel a bit creepy being enormous and having a tiny little gf

He thinks tall girls have a certain elegance, even if you don’t see it, he thinks your beauty is ethereal and unmatched

which is why when you get insecure because your only a little bit (if at all) shorter than him, he makes sure to show you he doesn’t mind in the easiest way possible: ploughing the doubt from your mind

“Toshi- Toshi, ahhhhhh!” You cry as he hooks your beautiful legs over his shoulders and continues to rut into you like a man possessed. He grips your calves, staring down at the way your long body ricochets with every thrust. Your arms are splayed against the mattress and your fingers grip the sheets, face scrunched up with overwhelming stimulation. He watched as his cock is completely swallowed by your puffy pussy, cream surrounding the base every time he moves. Giving a chaste kiss to your calve, Ushijima tilts his head back in a groan, fucking you hard but sensually.

“See? Isn’t this...” he grunted,”Isn’t this better for me? If you were any smaller, I’d break you.”

Pussy pulsing, the back of your head digs into your pillow and you moan like a little bitch. His hips work against you, the piston of him thick cock making you twitch, you were close. Effortlessly he hits your g-spot, which has you clenching around him.

He groans.

“You’re so tight, still got a little pussy, mmh.”

Now his thrusts were getting faster and messier, stoping the grind and now just ploughing your wet little hole.

“Toshi-!” you pleaded,”i’m gonna cum!”

“Me too, Y/N, C’mere.”

he pushes your legs back down either side of his waist and bends over your shaking body. He puts one elbow either side of your head, hips still sloppily fucking you. One hand reaches to hold your face and he goes down to kiss you. You whimper in his mouth and he shoves his tongue lovingly down your throat. He moans deep and stutters his hips to a stop, cock nestled deep inside of you, and he cums. You sob into his sweet kiss and cum with him as he stuffs you full of his thick semen. He pants, pulling away from your mouth only for a second where he gives you another impassioned kiss. Forehead to forehead, you breathe together, a warm quiet filling the room.

“I love you Y/N.”

“I love you Toshi.”

BOKUTO

mmm wants u to have his babies

something about tall women makes him want to breed

and you have such good child bearing hips, he can’t help but stare as you walk

He thinks ur kids would be such good athletes <3

your long big sexy thighs drive him wild you don’t even know, u cannot fathom the magnitude that this man wants to bite them

i do think he would also date short girls too, and maybe he did in the past

so when you see photos of him with his ex who is tiny ur like ‘oh :(’ cuz ur literally nothing like her

when he sees you scrolling thru her ig he asks you what ur doing

ur like ‘nothing :/‘ he’s like ‘😗 this shit won’t fly’

after enough questioning ur like ‘well it’s just... she’s a lot smaller than you... and me... and idk... i just didn’t know you were into that’

oho u gonna be walking funny tomorrow

He has you on your stomach, ass in the air for him, pounding you from the back. holding ur arms to keep you as close to him as possible, yanking you back against his heavy thrusts.

“Who’s my girl? Who am I fucking right now?”

“m-me!”

he half groans half laughs, fingers digging into your soft skin.

“That’s right baby, you’re my girl, my pretty little girl. She’s old news you got that?”

Instantly you nod against the squeaking bed. He loves the sound you let out every time he fills you completely, he revels in the sight of your long back arched for him.

“Good girl.”

Nearly drenched, your wet cunt leaves a little slick on his balls, weeping down your thighs. He reaches underneath and rubs your clit in tight circles, groaning as he feels your cunt tighten and pulse.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says breathily, voice becoming gruffer,”Ohh yeah, you like that? You like this?”

He gave it a slight slap, and you jolted a little, whimpers escaping your smushed lips.

“You’re my girl now yeah? Wouldn’t change you, wouldn’t, You’re-You’re perfect. Wanna breed you, make perfect little babies.”

You turn you bleary eyes to look back at him, and you give him a dumb little smile. His heart melts and his cock throbs, and his speed increases with vigor. The pump of his cock inside of you is driving you insane, drool dampening the sheets. You’re so lost in the feeling of him inside you filling you to the brim, you forget why you were so upset to begin with.

“Ohhh baby i’m close,” growls, hands now wrapping around the base of your waist, pushing you into the bed so he can pound you like a machine.

“Gonna fill you with my cum baby, gonna breed your pussy, don’t you want that?”

“Yes, yes Kou, please,” you cry, and it doesn’t take much more for him to release his fat load inside your spasming walls with a surprisingly high moan.

Pushed over the edge with the feeling of his cum, you scream, cumming as he still fucks it back into you. As you come down you expect him to let up, but he doesn’t, he just keeping whining and fucking you like he was before.

“Kou, what, what are-“ you can harley for a sentence, overstimulated and disoriented.

“Gotta- hnghhh- make sure it takes, breed you one more time. Ok? You can do that for me can’t you?”

You have little choice but to take it.

HINATA

doesn’t give a shit hes shorter than you

like not at all

like not at ALL at all

before u guys were dating he jacked off the the thought of your perfect body, those long ass legs, those thighs

oh my god he loves ur thighs

sorry but why is hinata one of them dudes that like begs you sit on his face? like can he chill? he’s so intense about it LMAO

ur like i will crush ur skull and hes like i’m willing to risk that

and when you sit on it you just hover cuz you don’t want him to literally die, but he’s like “when i say sit i mean SIT ma i got a thick skull”

doesn’t care that ur ‘bigger’ than him, knows ur a whiny girl at heart

just wants to take care of you n make u cream, not much to ask is it?

“You’re like two inches from my face, sit down.”

You squeak as he yanks your hips into his face, mouth finally connecting with what he’s been waiting for all day, hell, all his life.

“Shoyo! Shoyo, I’m gonna hurt you, I’m gonna- fuuuuck,” you breathe out as he starts suckling on your precious clit.

“Stop worrying Y/N, I got you, see?” he squeezes your thighs, showing he can hold you up.

“I-I don’t know, i’m kinda heavy...” You glance down at your boyfriend. His head looks small in comparison to your thighs, and you feel guilty even though he begged you to let him do this. Your guilt is eased somewhat by the look of stifling intensity on his face. His warm brown eyes stare into yours, you found it so flustering before? but now you can’t look away. His soft orange hair is tousled and mussed, framing his face, yet somehow he still makes you weak, even from underneath you.

“It’s nothing, really, I’ve got you. Let me make you feel good. Please?”

You wait a moment, then nod, and he dives right back in. Shaky hands reach forward to the bed frame steadying yourself as he tongues your wet folds. He groans into you at the taste, making you exhale at the vibration.

He licks your whole labia happily, flat lick all over that make you squirm. His dick was hard as anything, pulsing uncontrollably in his boxers. The tip had been dribbling pre the second you gave him a good look at his favourite girls pussy.

He makes you fall apart on top of him over and over until your knees buckle and you do actually end up nearly crushing him if it weren’t for those enormous arms of his holding you steady.

He’s done when he says he is, so, obviously, you’re in for a long night.

OIKAWA

power couple alert ‼️‼️

imagine u two tall ass hotties strutting around hand in hand like it’s nobodies business!

in his eyes, you are the most stunning person he’s ever seen so he can’t fathom how you could possibly dislike your height

over the years of being together, he’s really boosted your confidence, you don’t even question his opinion of you anymore, you know he thinks ur fine as fuck

the amount of scrappy doo looking fan girls he had to deal with on a daily basis, only to come home to you

you, the perfect, gorgeous, ever soothing presence, you’re like his own personal stress reliever

especially when he’s let it all out inside you, and is holding you close after a particularly gruelling day

He panted from behind you, holding you close against his chest. You were both on your side, his cock plugging you full of his warm release. A kiss to your shoulder, he lay basking in the heat you radiate, inside and out. You smile into the black of your room, feeling the rise and fall of his chest on your back.

“Had a hard day,” he murmured,”Couldn’t wait to see you.”

Your sleepy smile widen.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Had some fan girls come up to me today after practice. They wouldn’t leave me alone, I just wanted to get back to you.”

You reached for his hand that was draped loosely around your waist. tenderly you took it and sighed.

“Well that just makes me burn with jealousy doesn’t it?” you yawned and closed your eyes.

He laughed softly and kissed your shoulder again.

“Oh I know. I’m so disloyal, you better keep me on a leash.”

“Not a bad idea. I know what you’re like. Can’t keep you away from those short girls.”

“mhm. You know they’re my favourite.”

shuffling even closer, he breathed in you’re scent, giving your hand a soft squeeze.

“Love you forever.”

“Love you, you dog.”

He laughed one more time, before you both settled into a peaceful sleep.

IWAIZUMI

homeboy is not the tallest guy out there, but boy oh boy, does he love tall girls

when he first saw you, he just knew he had to have you

he knows you could be a bit insecure having a boyfriend that isn’t much much bigger than you

so he tries to soothe you, make you feel little, make you feel like how other girls get to

there’s something about him, all muscle, his intensity, his confidence, it makes you melt and quiver beneath him

he loves taking control, making you his tiny baby that he knows you are, knows you want to be

It doesn’t hurt that he’s hung like a fucking horse either

“Aw, am I too big? Is my little girl too small for me? I’ll make it fit, don’t worry.”

he bullies his way further inside as you whine and grab at his built shoulder. He loves the sting of your nail in his back, almost as much as he loves your tight little pussy sucking him in bit by bit.

You’re sat on the kitchen counter, legs encircling his waist the whole way round. His fingers dig deep into your sides to keep you from squirming or wriggling away. He continues to push in, inch by inch as you clench your teeth at the stretch, until you’re full to the brim with him, cunt drooling on his throbbing erection.

“Fuck, so tight...” he mutters, more to himself than you. He’ll never get used to how good you feel, it’s always brand new.

You let out jagged breaths as he waits for you to adjust, burying your face in the small of his neck.

“You ok sweetheart?”

He’s desperate to move, but he needs to make sure you’re alright first.

“Yes, hajime... please,” you say, it comes out muffled with how you’re pressing your face into his neck.

He smiles softly.

“Are you feeling shy, pretty? That’s ok, do you want me to be gentle?”

You shake your head.

“Just tired hajime. P-Please move, you can go hard.”

He groaned as you tightened on him, like an invitation.

“Oh, such a good girl. Gonna give it to you good yeah?”

You inhaled as he drew back his hips, only his hips remaining inside you. Before you could do anything else, he slammed back into you, knocking you back with the force of it.

“Hajime!” you choked, eyes rolling back as he fucked you, good and deep. In his lower abdomen you could feel his tight, huge muscles jerking at the strain against you and your brain went fuzzy as he ground against that soft spot inside you.

Drilling your tiny hole, he growled at the hug of you pillowy walls, the wetness of the as his ears were filled with fwop fwop fwop.

“God, fuck, I love you,” he rasped, putting his full body weight into the sloppy impassioned thrusts.

“I-I love you so much, don’t stop hajime,” a breathy whisper was all you could muster, you felt like you had no control of the way you clung to him, his fat cock turning you to goo.

The two of you moan into the night like so many other, and melt into the feeling of being together. It’s really unfathomable the luxury you provide for each other, a love truly unmatched.

thanks for reading! if u enjoyed, reblogs are appreciated !

masterlist (again)

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yesimwriting · 3 years

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The Promise of Rain

A/n finally writing that Kaz Brekker x reader angsty-fluff where the reader is all sunshine-y and Kaz is dramatic as always lol

Might make this a blurb series bc i like this dynamic so much lol

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y reader

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Kaz has a conversation with the reader (who’s a runaway princess) about what happens to people who stay near him.

He once said that he didn’t believe in Saints. A moment later he conceded that perhaps they existed in order to appease Inej, but he was quick to tact on that if Saints existed they didn’t care about him. Inej and I had exchanged a look, she pleaded with me in silence to let him be. I opened my mouth despite the look in her eyes, but he had walked away before I could get any words out.

He believes that the Saints don’t care about him, but as soon as he was dragged in by Jesper, bleeding and more broken than usual, it had started to rain. The rain is a promise. The rain is a sign that he will wake up.

I tap a finger against the forgotten book on my lap, ignoring the dried blood I’ve been too anxious to wash off. When Kaz wakes up he’ll either scold me or partially tease me for waiting here by his bedside. The rain continues, cascading down invisible hope.

“Save your prayers, even for you the Saints won’t regard me.” Kaz. His voice is raspier than it should be and his slight condescension is blighted by the tired flatness of it. But it’s him. He’s speaking.

I tear my gaze away from the window, almost forgetting to tamper down my relief before finally looking at him. I haven’t known him long enough to see him in any level of defeat, but I’ve heard enough stories. The fictional exaggeration of those that fear him have made him seem so immortal. Some part of me must have internalized that because to see him like this, to see him so human is too intimate.

“Don’t be so narcissistic.” Something about Kaz always leaves me feeling challenged, like each comment is some kind of dare. I adjust my posture. “I wasn’t praying because I knew you’d be okay.”

His expression is unchanging. “So much faith in me?”

There’s a soft edge to his words, an attempt to twist some kind of awkward denial out of me. Some days I don’t think Kaz enjoys anything and then other days I think he enjoys any misstep in my words.

I shrug, pushing down the flood of relief still attempting to crawl out of my chest. “You’re always okay.” I scratch the back of my wrist idly. “It seems the safe bet.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve been taking gambling advice from Jesper.”

I half roll my eyes. “No--Jesper and I don’t play together anymore.” I let out an easy sigh. “Last time I beat him he bordered on a hissy fit.” There’s the slightest hint of upturning at the corners of his lips. “I should go tell Jesper and Inej you’re awake.”

“I think you should change out of that dress first.”

He was more likable when I thought he might die at any second. “Wow--Kaz Brekker the professional stylist.” He has no right to judge the formal gown I’m in. Yes, my outfit is ridiculous, but I’m only wearing it because the Crows needed someone they knew at a merchant’s party for a part of some scheme they wouldn’t share the details of with me. “Yes, I’m aware that this dress is more tulle than anything else, but I’m only wearing it because I was helping you.”

I wait for some retort about how he could have managed without my assistance or some kind of comment about how I didn’t need such a large dress to flirt and distract the guards as the Crows snuck into the merchant’s private office. “You fit in there more than you said you would.”

From anyone else, I’d consider this an insult. “I was making an effort for the sake of your plans.”

“I saw you before I went into the office, you knew the dances, the man took your hand.”

That’s the weirdest observation I’ve ever witnessed someone reflect on. “That’s how those dances tend to work.” I don’t hide the confusion in my expression. “How much blood did you lose?”

Kaz’s piercing gaze drops to the blanket on his lap. “Not a concerning amount.”

“Why do I feel like we have different definitions of ‘concerning’?”

His eyes flit upwards, a partial smirk playing at his lips. “We define a lot of things differently.” He pauses, “You defined the life you slipped into so easily tonight as something you could never do.”

“I can’t.” What is his problem? “One dance is different than an eternity of planning teas and marrying some man who only keeps me so I can rear his children.”

“You’d end up marrying someone who could give you things.”

He better not be implying I should be having children. I’m seriously starting to hope he did lose a significant amount of blood because that would be some kind of explanation. “I don’t want anyone to be giving me children right now, but I guess your concern is ni--”

“No, no,” he screws his eyes shut for a long second, “You know what I meant.” I stay silent. “You’re technically a princess, y/n, you could have more than the Barrel.” There’s an odd silence as he pauses. “Someone like you should have more than the Barrel.”

He speaks like his word is law. That’s the one habit of his I can never seem to forgive. Is Kaz telling me to go home? To go back to a mother who dreams of marrying me off and a father with a temper that often leads to violence? He may be Dirtyhands, but he is no one to tell me who to go back to. Not after I risked my anonymity to get him into that merchant’s office.

I shut my book and stand in one swift motion. “I’m going to tell Jesper and Inej that you’re awake.”

“Y/n.” I ignore him. “Y/n.” Again, I ignore him, approaching the doorway. The rustling of sheets leaves me frozen, hand on the doorknob. “Y/n.”

Without thinking, I turn on my heels while glaring. There’s no way he’s proud enough to have climbed out of bed wi--and he’s standing. Standing almost directly behind me.

“Kaz Brekker, I am going to say this one time and one time only.” I keep my words measured and my tone flat. No room for argument. “You just had nine stitches put in near your heart, get your ass back in bed before that is no longer your only injury.”

He pauses, lips pressed together into a tight white line. And then his mouth opens, pried open by an oddly light sound. Did he just--Did Kaz Brekker just laugh? He doesn’t laugh. I didn’t think he was physically capable, and now he laughs while I’m threatening him? I should hit him on principle alone and damn the consequences.

“Did you--” I’m gaping at him with a rage I am not accustomed to. “Did you just laugh?”

Kaz is quick to shut his mouth. “You did swear you’d get me to laugh one day.”

Saints--now he chooses to have some kind of sense of humor. “Not while I was threatening you for being an idiot after saying my lineage means that I’m meant to be trapped in the life I desire least.”

“I didn’t say that.” I raise an eyebrow. “You don’t deserve more than this because of your family, you deserve more than this because--” He cuts himself off with a sharp sigh. “Do you remember what happened the day we met?”

He had wanted to return me to my father for the money. I had managed to convince him I could be more useful working for him without profit. The first day had been tense, I had sworn to myself that I would hate him forever.

“I remember really hating you.” I remember thinking him beautiful despite his darkness. “I remember it started raining on our way here.”

“You had a hood, but you pushed it off your head to feel the rain.” I don’t remember that because indulging in the rain is instinctual to me. “You looked at the rain, and you smiled--and then you saw a woman with a child and you took off your hood and gave it to them.”

“What does that have to d--”

“Watching that felt like intruding on an intimate moment I had no business knowing about, but it wasn’t that to you. That moment was nothing to you because that moment was who you are.”

I don’t understand what he sees in something I can barely remember. “Kaz, what does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m the monster that children believe live under their beds, I’m the bastard of the Barrel, I’m someone who gets blood on everything near them.” His gaze is harsher than I’ve ever seen it as he focuses on the dried blood splotched across my hands and arms. “And then I can’t even help you wash it off.”

Those last words are the closest to broken I’ve ever heard him sound. “Kaz--”

“And you’re the girl who looks at the rain like it’s a gift from the Saints.”

Is he implying what I think he’s implying? Even if I believed him such a source of evil, even if I felt like touch mattered that much--why would he care? I keep the much more frightening implication at bay as I exhale. Clarity will only make this conversation worse. “That doesn’t matter.” The words leave me in a low whisper.

I stare at the ground until his silence is something I can no longer bear. Looking up as cautiously as possible, I take in his expression. I’ve never seen him look so--so enraged. “It doesn’t matter?!” He doesn’t bother hiding the fact that he’s practically seething. “I’ve viewed your presence here as temporary since you first came and despite that, when I saw you there…” The breath he lets out is practically pained. “When I saw what your life is meant to be--I didn’t want you to go.”

The admission breaks something hard in my chest. “I never wanted to go.” My eyeline drops to the ground. “I didn’t want to go when you were trying to make me, I didn’t want to go when it was only for that evening.” I swallow a lump of emotion restricting my throat. “When you were bleeding out and Jesper had to carry you back here I let myself imagine what it’d be like if you died. And it hurt. It hurt so badly I asked myself if I would rather never know you than feel that pain.”

“Would you?” His voice has gone hollow.

I finally look up again. “No.” That word leaves me more bare than any physical touch ever could.

“I stain everything that stays with me,” his voice has seamlessly shifted back to a tone meant for business, “Me wanting you to stay is more than enough reason for you to leave.”

My chest aches as emotions I’ll never be able to place a name to pound against my chest. “I’m a princess that ran away from her family and tried to befriend her kidnapper--you can’t possibly be narcissistic enough to believe that you’re what’s corrupted me.”

“Y/n,” his voice is gravely again, the way it was when he first woke up.

“No. What could you possibly think I’d say to that?” He’s insane--I’m not even sure I understand what he’s implying. “You know I’ll never agree with what you’re saying, so I have no idea what kind of reaction you’re looking for.”

“Maybe a genuine one.”

The comment is so frustrating I can’t help but roll my eyes. The irony of Kaz Brekker asking for a genuine reaction to an emotionally heavy comment is almost laughable. “My genuine reaction is that you’re acting like an idiot because I don’t agree with anything you’re saying, but calling someone an idiot after they’ve been stabbed in the chest is a little insensitive so I can’t give you my genuine reaction.”

Kaz half-scoffs, “You don’t agree? Y/n--are you hearing me!? I want--I want you to stay.” Even angry, the admission warms me. He lets out a frustrated sigh. “More than that I want--”

“What?”

He shakes his head once. “I want something that can never be because I can’t give what needs to be given to get it.”

“Kaz, if it involves me staying you don’t need to give anything for that because I don’t want to go.”

“I-want-you-to-stay-with-me.” The admission is pried from him by some invisible force. He speaks so fiercely the sentence comes out as one angry word.

He speaks so quickly a part of me is convinced that I misheard him. I watch him as he moves back to the bed, sitting down in a way so resigned I wonder if I blurted something out on instinct.

“Kaz,” this is embarrassing, “I wanted to stay with you even when I wanted to hate you.”

I take in his measured expression, the only thing implying any kind of reaction is the way his eyebrows draw together. “Don’t say that, you don’t understand what that means.”

“Why? Because you’re convinced you’ll ruin me?”

“Y/n, we’d be together with a wall between us, keeping us from ever touching.”

“I will tolerate any amount of damage you’re so convinced staying with you will bring, I will stay with you and never touch you and think nothing of it--but I will not stay with you just to stand in front of a wall.” I let out a tired breath. “I will stay with you but my one condition will be that you have to let me know you.”

Kaz’s intense gaze wavers. “The first thing you’ll know is that me allowing you to stay is a testament to my greed.”

I give him a sharp look, “It’s not greed if I want to be here.”

He half sighs, leaning against a pillow as he turns to look out the window. “It’s raining,” he muses, “The Saints must have done that for you.”

The sentiment is so soft my heart feels like it’s constricting. “I thought you didn’t believe in the Saints.”

“If they exist, they do so for people like you.”

I push past the emotion in my chest as I move to sit in the same chair I was in earlier. “I was honest when I said I didn’t pray for you.” I scratch the back of my arm, a coldness passing over me. “I didn’t pray because I knew you would be okay because you had to be.”

“They wouldn’t have saved me,” he mumbles, “Or maybe they would have for you.”

I shake my head once, staring at the rain with more fascination than before.

General Taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7 @lonelystarship

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #six of crows imagine #six of crows netflix #six of crows show #soc #soc imagine #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone show #grishaverse #grisha #grishavers x reader #grishaverse imagine

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bibliosophist · 3 years

Note

You may take this as a prompt request if you want to or just me thirsting to you (again)

Picture this:

MC is sitting next to one of the brothers on their bed wearing a top and some shorts, watching a movie together when MC leans into the brother's side and whispers into his ear: "I only want to let you know that I'm not wearing panties right now."

(AND THEN THEY FUCKED)

Sorry it took me a while to get to, I haven't had time to get on tumblr lately. Bc I made you wait I'll do all the brothers. Heads up I’m writing these while I’m pretty tipsy so I hope they all make sense lol

Movie Night + “I’m not wearing any panties” ft. GN MC (NSFW/18+)

Lucifer

You’re watching a documentary that he had imported from the human world. It’s drier than dust- something about politics that would make even The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire seem riveting.

Doesn’t visibly react at all.

Demands you remove your shorts, not taking his eyes off the television.

Once your lower half is bared, orders you to sit in his lap so that your back is against his chest and you have a leg on either side of his body.

Continues to watch the documentary as he fucks you with one hand, the other pressed against your abdomen, keeping your body close to his.

“Be quiet. You don’t want me to have to rewind this, do you?”

Moves his hand from your abdomen to your throat when you continue to moan.

Doesn’t stop until you’ve cum so hard your legs are shaking.

You’re nearing tears from overstimulation by the time the documentary is over. “Have you had enough?” he asks. You can only whimper in response.

“Too bad,” he chuckles as he lowers you on to your back. “You wanted my attention, and now you’ve got it.”

Mammon

Poor boy nearly has a heart attack.

“O-oi! You can’t just go around sayin’ stuff like that!”

You ask him what the problem is with the most innocent look you can muster.

“Waddaya mean what’s the problem?! I have a hard enough time controllin’ myself around ya as it is!”

Once you’ve assured him that you do not, in fact, want him to control himself, it’s like you’re a casino and it’s payday. He can’t seem to decide what he wants to do first. His mouth is on yours but his hands are everywhere.

He just can’t get enough of you and is perfectly content to do everything in his power to give you pleasure- his own is an afterthought.

When you finally manage to get a hand down his pants, you think his head may actually explode.

Once you start begging for his cock he drags you to the edge of the bed, slinging your ankles over his shoulders as he fucks you. He loves watching the faces you make.

Leviathan

You’re laying side by side in his tub watching a movie when you tell him.

He may have momentarily died. You aren’t quite sure.

Is he breathing?

“Levi? Levi!”

“W-why are you telling me that?!”

He absolutely, unequivocally does not believe that you could possibly have any interest in him.

You’re just teasing him, aren’t you? Who would want an icky ot-

Oh my God, what are you doing?

“Levi,” you say as you wrap him up in a hug. “It’s okay. Nothing has to happen unless you want it to.”

He stammers something into your hair. When you lift your head to ask him what he says, he catches your lips with his.

At first it’s a bit sloppy, but the longer you kiss the more confident he becomes.

He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close. You shiver when you feel his erection pressed against your stomach.

You can actually feel his hands shaking as he holds you against him, so you decide to give him a little encouragement.

“Can I show you how much I want you?” you ask, reaching for the ties of his pants.

He’s an actual human tomato, but he nods vigorously, lifting his hips so you can slide his pants and underwear down his thighs.

He bites on his hand to quiet the sounds he makes as you suck him off.

He slips his fingers in the leg of your shorts and soon you’re the one moaning.

You don’t fuck tonight, but if Levi’s reaction is anything to go by, you’ll have many opportunities in the future.

Satan

In the glow of the TV you can make out the smirk on his face.

Pauses the movie- an adaptation of one of his favourite books- pulling you into his lap before crushing his lips against yours.

Satan has beautiful hands, and he knows how to use them. He quickly has you undressed and begging for him.

He obliges, letting you unzip his trousers and pull his cock free.

One of the best things about Satan? He has a spell for everything. He speaks a few words and instant lubrication.

You shudder as he slides into you, the stretch is mind numbing. He guides you as you bounce on him, moving faster as that sweet fire begins to build.

Digs his fingers into your hips and slams you down the moment he feels you begin to clench around him. Holds you still with his cock deep inside you.

“Satan” you whine, trying desperately to move against him.

“I’m sorry,” he says as he unpauses the movie. “Do you not like being interrupted?”

Makes you warm his cock while he finishes watching. Every time you move, he backs the film up, adding to the length of your punishment.

When it’s over, though? Oh boy. You won’t be walking tomorrow, that’s for sure.

Asmodeus

“Neither am I!”

The movie is promptly forgotten.

He wastes absolutely no time in getting the both of you naked.

Asmo is nothing if not a tease. He spends an eternity kissing, licking, and sucking bruises into every inch of your skin. He’s got you begging by the time he makes it back up to your lips.

But as much as Asmo loves to tease, he loves to be worshipped even more. You aren’t getting anything until he feels properly appreciated.

You tell him how beautiful he is over and over again as you roll your thumb over the head of his cock, spreading precum over his flushed skin.

“Ah, one more time. Say it one more time,” he whines as you suck gently at each of his balls in turn.

It isn’t until you’ve got him biting his lip, a flush spreading up his chest, that he pulls away from you, pushing you onto your back in the middle of the bed.

“I’m so glad you’re here with me,” he whispers as he kneels between your thighs.

You’d better not expect to get any sleep tonight, because the Avatar of Lust wants to make you feel just as beautiful and loved as you make him.

Beelzebub

Beel has a thing for human world cooking competitions, and you brought home a whole collection of them.

Honestly, you’re not sure how much more Chopped you can watch. Food is not at the forefront of your mind when you’ve got Beel in your bed.

When you lean into him and whisper that you aren’t wearing any panties, the focused demon takes a whole thirty seconds to react.

“Wh-what, (Y/N)? I thought you said...” he trails off, turning scarlet.

You look up at him through your lashes, nodding.

Sweet baby stares down at his hands clutched in his lap.

“Can... Would it be okay if I kissed you... there?”

There’s no sidestepping what this boy wants, even if it takes all his courage to ask for it.

Like you’d say no?

Lets you sit on his face while he demonstrates exactly what gluttony means.

Doesn’t stop, even when you nearly pull his hair out as a second orgasm crashes over you. He might be enjoying this just as much as you are.

You grip the headboard with one hand, reaching behind you with the other, wanting to feel his cock, to give him an ounce of the pleasure he’s giving you. You fumble- a lot- but eventually you do manage to get his fly open.

You spit into your hand before pumping it up and down the length of his shaft. He rocks his hips as you move, and even though together the motion is erratic it seems to work just fine for him, because before you know it he’s shuddering under you as he cums all over his chest and your bare ass.

Belphegor

“So?”

Glances over at you with a single raised eyebrow before returning his attention to the movie you’ve been watching.

You know he’s going to make you work for his attention, and you’ve come prepared.

“I just thought I’d let you know,” you say as you recline on your pillows.

He maintains a solid poker face, even as you begin stroking yourself through your shorts.

You catch him sneaking peeks at you out of the corner of his eye.

But you know you have his full attention when you bring lubricant and a vibrator out of your bedside table.

This demon is an absolute slut for toys. Lots of pleasure with very little work? Now you’re speaking his language.

Is happy to sit back and enjoy the show-- until he isn’t.

“That’s enough of that,” he says, snatching the vibrator out of your hand and tossing it out of your reach. “If you’re so desperate to cum, I’ve got something to get you off.”

Now it’s his turn to lay on the pillows as you fuck yourself on his cock.

Waits until you’re mid-orgasm to take over, grabbing handfuls of your ass and bouncing you up and down until you’re seeing stars.

You’ll definitely have bruises tomorrow, but it’s totally worth it.

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tartagilicious · 3 years

Text

sun and moon > xiao

happy (late-ish) valentine’s day yall! thank you, mihoyo, for once again reminding me that i’m easily attached to emotionally unavailable pretty boys. the "I hate everyone but you" trope is real here, I wanna be his friend and gain his trust like this is a mf otome game. to anyone still pulling for him, good luck~ don’t worry, you have a little bit more time and more free rewards are also on the way!! have some soft xiao for good luck >:D // w.c 1.9k // not a request

also a big ty to @seerie for being my beta reader, bc I don’t know what I’m doing 🥴

summer sky by asking for a friend

You hiss softly as Xiao runs a damp cloth over the gash adorning the length of your cheekbone, face scrunching as his eyes narrow in concentration. It feels somehow wrong to have him taking care of you, much less sitting in front of you and dressing your wounds himself.

A majority of the bleeding had stopped not long ago, but there's still another fear that plagues you more -- your agreement with the yaksha adeptus, or rather contract, specifically trying to combat injuries on your behalf.

You aren’t sure if chickening out on calling him in the midst of the situation you were hurt is grounds for breaking the contract somehow, though either way, Xiao has always seemed to be quite serious regarding his promises. You remember his first and only instructions to you weeks ago being clear and concise,

“If you awake to a knife at your throat, if monsters dig their claws into you, if death comes knocking at your door, call out my name; adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call.”

Surely a small wound like this wasn’t serious enough?

Xiao pulls the fabric away from your face and silently notes what must be the mess of blood covering it, lips turning up in a grimace. His standards of emergency are usually as one would expect, though lately for whatever reason, even the smallest of your wounds tend to put him in a bad mood.

From such a standoffish person, it’s a bit hard to get used to or understand -- but a part of you is only happy to know that there’s a chance he might care more than he lets on.

“...The abyss mages, they just came out of nowhere,” You try to explain but the silence is deafening. Eyes downcast to the stool beneath your legs, you mumble, “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Xiao doesn’t give any more of a reaction than an arched brow and a slight gesture with the gruesomely dyed cloth. You half expect him to be irritated; to give you a lecture on keeping an eye on your surroundings or to take better care of yourself, but he doesn’t. Instead, he looks away and shakes his head, spiking your nerves with a low sigh.

He looks back at you as he rests his elbow on his knee and thrusts out the cloth again, almost in exasperation. “Why didn’t you call my name?”

You feel the blood drain from your face as the words leave his mouth, and suddenly, you’re terrified to answer honestly. As already long-established, Xiao is someone who despite thousands of years of trauma, remains as hard as the rock of the nation he watches over. Compared to his lifespan, you’re relatively immature, so the last thing you want is to give an embarrassing reason to make him think that you suddenly don’t trust him enough to help.

“I-I don’t know,” You stutter and curse pitifully inside your head as you return his eye contact. “But I can’t just call you every time I’m in trouble, especially when I think I can deal with it myself, right?”

He scoffs as if you’ve just said the most ridiculous thing.

“This shouldn’t have to be a discussion. Your capabilities don’t lack anything, but your hesitation may very well be the death of you.”

“I never hesitated,” Though your voice is more steadfast, any illusion of confidence is shattered by the way you fidget with your hands. “I only misjudged. I make mistakes sometimes, but I think you forget that I’ll heal even after the worst of these injuries.”

Xiao sighs and crumples the bloodstained cloth in the palm of his hand, caging himself in his arms before speaking again -- just as he always does.

“Don’t be outrageous, I haven’t forgotten anything.” He averts his gaze and for a moment, you swear that you notice the tips of his ears flush. “It’s only ignorant to assume that I want to see you injured.”

Your brows knit as a similar knot slides down your throat. “I just, I just don’t get why you’re so worried about it.”

He stares at you, once again, as if you’ve just said something completely outlandish -- as if it wasn’t as hard to tell what he was thinking beneath such a guarded personality as you made it out to be.

“What?” You ask, slightly exasperated as you sit up straighter. You had still been sitting as if he were cleaning your wounds. “Is that not a valid question? It seems like you want nothing to do with anyone, but then turn around and worry when I’m hurt?”

“How could you do that and still not know why I hesitate to call for you?” Exasperated, you exhale and shut your eyes for a moment, deliberately avoid seeing his reaction to these words.

“...All I mean, is that sometimes it’s hard to tell what you’re thinking -- I feel like I’m bothering you, even if it might be in a situation where I really do need you.”

For a moment, Xiao is blatantly surprised by your reason for not upholding the contract you’d made. It almost gives you the impression that in your spiel, you’ve said something completely idiotic. A gradual flush of embarrassment flares up beneath your skin, but thankfully, you contain yourself before you have the chance to blurt out anything you’d regret.

His lips twist ever so slightly, as if he’s combing through things to respond with in his head. Obviously a bit flustered to hear your reasoning, it’s odd to see him in such a way, albeit while somehow remaining so uniquely him

“You… really are incomprehensible.”

Turning his head to shield his expression, he discards the cloth by tossing it in a nearby basket and stands. Your eyes follow him up until his own turn back towards you, golden irises glinting with a sort of hesitant concentration. You blink.

“If you trust me enough to enter a contract where i very well might decide between your life and death, do well and also trust me as someone who doesn’t break their promises.” Xiao’s brows fold delicately, as if mulling over the words coming out of hisin real time. “___, I don’t want to see you hurt like this.”

Your heartbeat briefly stutters, lips opening and closing as if to say something even when no thoughts are formed. Eyes trailing back down to your hands, you let out a small sigh. Before you can say anything, though, a gloved hand takes your chin and gently guides your eyes back upwards.

“So don’t hesitate.” His touch is soft as he maintains comfortable eye contact with you despite the straight-forward words. “I won’t allow you to die because of me.”

Blood pumps wildly through your ears as you suck in a breath of apprehension. As hard as you try to break away your gaze, something in his face keeps you anchored even when your chest begins to seize; a face that has been hardened over a millenia of suffering stares back at you with the improper care of a hopeful innocent, as if you are something that is worthwhile in the purest sense.

You swallow, Xiao’s hand’s position above your throat making it painfully obvious to him how caught off guard you are. Though naturally, if this action of yours makes him falter at all, he does so unnoticeably.

“I won’t,” It’s said slowly, as if you can’t comprehend what exactly you’re saying just yet. “You said I don’t lack anything, but in the moments I do--”

Your lips rest parted as anxiety cuts off the last part of your sentence, but Xiao’s patient expression pushes you forward.

“...I trust you to help me.”

Those words echo in his mind for a moment, ricocheting and hitting even the most unfamiliar parts of himself that he’d long buried. Feelings and memories that have since collected cobwebs begin to resurface and remind him of a more simple time he treasures dearly.

Trust.

Xiao’s thumb ghosts over your jaw, slowly wiping across the skin as he’s propelled deeply into thought -- fortunately too much so to notice the rising pigment on your cheeks.

He himself places his trust in people far and few. You might be different, well acquainted to human customs and the world around you, yet those words from you somehow feel just as special as if the roles are reversed. Your honesty and courage to accompany him has always dug at the cavity in his chest, but to hear you voice the metaphorical fruit of your labour so clearly is an entirely different sense.

All this time he’d blindly protected you, warned you about monsters lurking in the darkness, he’d fallen too far to even realise that you were beginning to change him. He no longer ate alone, nor did he adventure or sleep as he once did -- you had stuck onto him like a stubborn thorn despite, in your words, tending to feel as if you were bothering him. Regardless, he had somehow still earned your valuable companionship, and with it, commendable words that he could accept from you alone.

But there were times where he despised feeling such a way. He battled over the reasons he felt so inflicted when it was you who was injured, or you who chose to stick by him even after he tried so desperately to push you away. It was frustrating, dealing with a gentle care so foreign. Once he was used to your considerate nature, though, it became a different story.

Seeing you hurt began to shift from an expectable casualty to a blow to his own chest.

“...Xiao,” Your voice is hesitantly quiet, and suddenly, his eyes come back into focus. You’re staring at him with hesitant concern, setting his heart abuzz. “Are you okay?”

It’s when you reach up to wrap your hand around his that his mind finally completes his thought.

I love her.

As an Adeptus, he’s lived thousands of lives and outlived many more, and has taken the role of slaughterer before protector throughout many of them. In a way, the latter ways of his previous life have been ingrained him, regardless of those he manages to save in the more current centuries.

He imagines the figures of the spirits of those he’d wronged watching him in this moment, screaming a sound of contempt that he would never hear. They’re right to do so. They have no reason to pray for his happiness, much like he has little reason to pray for forgiveness.

Yet looking down at you, for the first time in a long time, none of that seems to matter.

With little thought, he grips your hand a bit tighter before letting go, his own hand travelling the length of your jaw to bring himself down to you. You remain completely still as he places a gentle kiss above your brow bone, breath hitching.

“I’m okay.” He reassures you quietly, resting there for a moment and sighing a small gust of air onto your skin. You mumble his name softly, hand reaching out to grab a hold of his shirt. The thin layer between your skin and his sends a sudden shiver down his spine, but regardless, he hums in response.

Your voice comes out in a whisper. “Are you sure?”

He nods, for the first time completely certain.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact xiao #genshin impact imagine #xiao x reader #genshin impact xiao x reader #xiao imagines #genshin impact fanfic

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dameronology · 3 years

Text

that’s all {din djarin x reader}

(i’m reposting this bc it wasn’t showing up in the tags and it was stressing me out)

summary: you’d saved din djarin from himself before. now, with the pain of losing his kid, you’re about to do it all over again. (kinda based on find me here by hayley williams)

warnings: this is...flangst. fluff and angst. swearing. mentions of depression but it’s also a bit ✨positive✨

this is just me trying to be the emotional janitor to...that. i’ve tried to keep it as gender neutral as possible but some of the conversation might imply an afab reader but hopefully it’s vague to be completely objective!!

- jazz

anyways i know i already said it but !! spoilers !! spoilers !! spoilers !!

p.s spot the titanic reference

Grogu was tiny but the whole he left in your lives was massive.

You always knew you were going to have to give him up - hell, that had been the job in the first place - but you hadn’t expected it to hurt so much. He wasn’t your kid but at the same he completely and entirely was. You’d never expected your first parenting experience to be with a tiny green Jedi but at the same time, you wouldn’t have had it any other way. The next few months were going to be hard; accepting that he wasn’t yours to keep and that he was in a better place was guaranteed to be a long process. It would be worth it in the end but the initial pain was bordering on unbearable.

Din was better at hiding it than you. Admittedly, he did have a thick beskar layer to shield his emotions and pain from the outside world but he couldn’t hide it from you; never from you. Even behind the metal, you could read him like a book. It was a product of spending every waking minute together (his overprotective doing, not yours) and in return, he had learnt every habit and every quirk of yours. He sometimes cursed your ability to read him, especially when it lead to you saying things like you did not just tilt your helmet at me like that, Din Djarin.

He’d been quieter in the days since Luke Skywalker had taken the kid - quieter than usual, at least. Din was already a pretty taciturn person; compared to how he was with other people, he practically spoke your ear off but since you’d landed back on Nevarro, he’d completely kept to himself. It was painful to watch, seeing him rise at the crack of dawn to take a bounty, only to return in the evening with a few more bruises than he’d had that morning. You wanted to say something to do something that would make him snap back to reality, but this was probably his grieving process and you had to respect that. Or, you had to at least try to.

That was, until, it felt like Din was killing both you and him; working himself to the point of exhaustion, barely sleeping and refusing to even acknowledge Greef or Cara. You could deal with him being angsty. You could deal with him grieving. You couldn’t, however, deal with him ignoring you. You had literally vowed to go through all your bad times together and Din Djarin was nothing if not a man of his word. He knew it. You knew it too - and you’d be damned if you’d let him forget it.

It was on a cold - at least by Nevarro standards - morning that you decided it was time to show him some tough love. The Mandalorian had decided to hole out on one of Karga’s old ships that morning, claiming that he wanted to fix it. You were no engineering genius, but given that the old jet’s wings had fallen off, you could see it was past the point of no return and that Din had just been looking for an excuse. He was good at that these days.

‘Din!’ You called. The bay doors were open, but the ship itself was dark and dusty. Tinkering, my ass. As expected, there was no reply. ‘Din! Don’t ignore me.’

Silence.

‘Please?’

You grumbled to yourself, walking further inside the dimly lit ship. Tiny specs of dust were floating in the streams of thin light, leading your path further and further towards the cockpit. Who ever it had belonged it, it pre-dated the Republic, let alone the Empire or new order. You tried to resist the urge to cough, instead choosing to focus on your mission: hunting down the Mandalorian. The tables really had turned, considering he was very rarely the prey.

‘I was talking to Karga.’ You continued - as far as you knew, you were talking to thin air, but you liked your chances. ‘He offered me a bounty puck for...Corellia, is it? For that big, bad guy we didn’t catch last year. You know the one that nearly killed me?’

There was a crash from the cockpit, and you grinned to yourself. It was a little unethical to scare the man out of hiding with your bullshit, but you were getting desperate.

‘I figured it would be good to get out a bit, try and distract myself, you know?’ You continued. ‘So I was gonna borrow a ship and head out there tomorrow-’

‘- like hell you’re doing that on your own.’

A six foot mountain of beskar suddenly stepped out from the darkness. Normally, that would have been enough to scare anyone, but not you. You’d married that six foot mountain of beskar. That probably gave you more guts than anyone in the damn galaxy -- until they found out he wasn’t actually that terrifying. Not many people would have taken the Mandalorian seriously if they knew he enjoyed having his hair played with.

You held your hands up in the air, stretching out your fingers to show that there was no puck in sight.

‘You lied.’ Din grunted.

‘And you were ignoring me.’ You shot back. ‘’S going on?’

‘I told you. I was working on the ship-’

‘- nope.’ You cut him off. ‘Try again.’

‘Karga asked me to fix it-’

‘- Still no!’ You snapped. ‘We gonna go three for three or are you gonna finally pull your head out your ass and stop lying to me, Din?’

There wasn’t a single person in the galaxy who dared speak back to the Mandalorian - except you. That was what had made him fall for you in the first place. It was like you couldn’t even see the beskar. You’d always seen him as Din, and never as the Mandalorian, or a warrior. You’d made it clear from the day you met that you wouldn’t take any bullshit from anyone, him included, and he’d always respected that.

‘You have been holing yourself away for weeks.’ You continued. ‘I know it’s hard but you have to accept it. Grogu wasn’t ours to keep - he never was.’

Din didn’t response, instead dropping his gaze down to the floor.’

‘Hey.’ You put a finger at the base of the helmet, tilting his head back up to look at you. ‘Look at me. Talk to me.’

‘I miss him.’ He stated; short and blunt. Fitting, really. ‘And it hurts.’

‘I get that.’ You gently placed your hands on either side of his helmet, fingers splaying out over the cold metal. ‘But it’s better to hurt together. Can I?’

Din nodded, signalling that it was okay for you to take it off. You gently tugged at the helmet, momentarily breaking away from him to place it beside you. It was a relief to see his face after so many weeks of having the beskar between you; the soft brown eyes and slightly crooked smile that met you on the other side felt like home. You could have stared at him forever if the galaxy wasn’t so fucking demanding of your presence.

You’d spent far too long on the other side of the beskar, waiting for him to let you in. And now that you’d got him, now that you’d promised yourselves to one another forever? You weren’t going to let it happen again.

You gently pushed back a few tufts of brown hair, offering him a sad smile. ‘You know we made the right decision, yeah?’

He nodded, leaning into your touch as your hands carded through his hair. ‘I know.’

‘So you gotta stop beating yourself up, baby.’ You stressed. ‘Stop shutting people out - stop shutting me out. I know we don’t have the kid anymore but we are still a family.’

‘I lost the ship. I lost the kid.’ Din quietly spoke. ‘I’m just worried that-’

‘- I’m not going anywhere.’ You shook your head, knowing what he was going to say before the words even left his mouth. ‘Even if you paid me. You are stuck with me, okay? Cursed with me till the day I keel over and die.’

Finally, Din smiled. He looked you dead in the eye and he smiled, eyes creasing at the side as he peered down at you, eventually tightening his arms around your waist. He held your head to his chest, ungloved hand gently clutching you as he rested his chin on your hair. The first time he’d clung onto you like this had been after a rough mission; neither of you had been sure if he was going to make it back and when he did, the first thing he did was pull you into his arms and you stayed there for what felt like hours. That was when Din realised for the first time that he loved you - and now, after weeks of isolating himself and shutting you out, this didn’t feel completely different from that. It was just that this time, it was less of a realisation of more of a reminder.

‘I didn’t expect it to be this bad.’ Din quietly admitted.

‘I know.’ You whispered back, voice slightly muffled by his chest. ‘But pain is only temporary. Dark times pass and we’ll learn to look back on this and enjoy the memories. They won’t always be tainted.’

He’d been in a dark place when he’d met you. It was like he’d been treading water, waiting for the riptides to take him, to stake their claim and remind him of his mortality, to remind him that not even the bravest people can forfeit their ability to hurt. He tried. Maker, he had tried. The icy and emotionless impression he gave to strangers wasn’t an accident. It was a survival mechanism; a defense mechanism. One that you’d chosen to ignore. You’d saved him in every way a person could be saved.

Just as the waves were pulling him under, you’d dragged him out; dragged him to the shore and reminded him that pain was merely part of being human. Most importantly, you’d called his attention to the fact that no matter how much beskar he wore or how impenetrable he acted, that he couldn’t avoid being one. He could run away from bounty hunters and Imperials and the thousands of enemies he’d made but the fact of mortality was always hot on his tail.

Now, you were pulling him up for air all over again.

Eventually, pain stopped being a reminder of his humanity and instead, it was replaced by his love for you. His ability to feel things for you. You’d saved him then and now, you were helping him come up for air all over again. Being human didn’t always mean to hurt - it could just as much mean to love.

‘I’ve got you, okay?’ You tightened your grip on him, eyes meeting his. ‘Whatever you need.’

‘You.’ Din replied. ‘I need you. That’s all.’

a/n: ok i realised i published an identical but slightly different imagine to this in october but...clearly i have a type and that type is imagines where the mandalorian confesses that you’re the only thing he needs because i eat that shit up. consume it whole. i am telling you. i have no regrets. my content might is predictable but HELL at least u can rely on something in these wild times❤️

#din djarin x reader #din djarin imagine #din djarin x you #mandalorian x you #mandalorian x reader #mandalorian imagine #mandalorian fan fiction #din djarin fan fiction #star wars x reader #star wars x you #star wars fluff #din djarin fluff #mandalorian fluff #mandalorian spoilers #mandalorian season 2 spoilers

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salsdemise · 3 years

Note

Can I request a Sally face x reader fic? Possibly a confession and first kiss an da party or something like that, thank you!

Hey anon, sorry if this is bad, I'm assuming you meant sal, and if not just lmk and I'll re-write this for another character if you want.

Warnings: Underage drinking, underaged smoking, parties, y/n used in place of your name, really awkward with the confession part? idk how to write those

word count: 1479

other: gender neutral terms used, sal's speech is in blue bc sometimes its unclear whos talking bc i didn't know what to put between the words spoken lol playlist listened to while writing: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5SMv6Go27KIcbfL07wkQ4m

This party wasn’t where you wanted to be right now. Hell, you’d rather be at school, getting pushed around by the kids in the hall right now. Anywhere was better than this loud, flashy,party filled with the smell of cigs, weed, alcohol and sex wafting off of every teen you passed.

Why you had come to this party in the first place had slipped your mind, as now you were more focused on not getting backed into a corner with a potted plant by a group of your peers. Maybe it was because your friend Larry wouldn’t shut up about how fun it was going to be, maybe it was because you would have felt bad saying no, or maybe it was because you certainly weren’t going to pass up on an opportunity to potentially hang out with Sal Fisher, your long time crush and close friend.

Holding your now empty red cup, you navigated your way through the crowd of drunken and dancing teens, most who were nice and giggly as you passed, slurring apologies at you if they bumped you.

While you weren’t all sober yourself, you had enough remaining cognitive ability to form full thoughts, and the only one on your mind was finding one of two people; Sal or Larry. You had no doubt Larry was off smoking with gods know who, so that left one option, and if your brain wasn’t mistaking you, you had seen the electric-bluenette near the door to the backyard in the kitchen not too long ago. So that’s where you set your sights.

When you arrived at the kitchen, you were happy to know that you were indeed correct on where you had last seen Sal, just outside on the patio, sitting hunched over a cup, the bottom straps of his prosthetic undone and dangling. Murmuring a few ‘excuse me’s at the teens you passed on the way, you made your way out to the back, opening and exiting the door and catching the bluenette’s attention. Seating yourself next to him, you said nothing, not sure of what to say.

“Didn’t think you’d actually show. Lar said you were coming, but I thought he was bluffing again,” Sal spoke, sipping on his drink.

You laughed at this, “yea, no, he actually convinced me to come. Not sure how, but he did. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d see you here either. You always talk about how much you hate parties, especially ones that have inebriating drinks,” you set your cup down next to you, and a small breeze knocked it over as soon as your hand left it.

“I don’t, hate em. Managed to get someone to get me something non-alcoholic, though. What have you had to drink?” He motioned to your, now rolling, red cup to emphasize.

“Oh, nothing too strong. They had a punch bowl in there so I took some of that,” thinking back to it as you spoke, it was odd the hosts of this party put a punch bowl out at a party with no need for it. However, you and Sal both seemingly shrugged it off and continued talking.

Conversation between the two of you had always come so naturally, switching between topics and tones, talking about people, your home state, his home state, and the likes.

“Man, I cannot believe he did that! It was like, super awkward between us for a week,“ you laughed, finishing a story about how Larry had tried to ask you out when high. Luckily the guy wasn’t too upset and took no for an answer.

“Hey, y/n, about asking people out...have you ever done it?” Sal questioned, messing with his sweater sleeves now that his drink was gone and his cup had also flown off.

“Oh, uh, not like, here at Nockfell, but in the past I asked a guy in my grade to go to a valentine’s day dance with me. Why?” you responded, tilting your head at him.

“I want to ask this person out, but I’m not sure how.”

“Oh. Well, what do they like? How long have you known them? And how close are you two? You can’t just ask out a random person you barely know, it won’t go well.”

“Well, they like a lot so it’s...kinda hard to put into words. I’ve known them for years now, and I’d like to say we’re pretty close.”

Thinking, you went quiet. As much as it hurt you to know your crush liked someone else, you were going to help him as best you could.

“Well, I’d give them a note, personally. I’d probably piss myself if I tried to tell them upfront. But it depends on how you wanna do it.”

Sal quietly thinks for a few seconds before standing up and fixing his mask, “Thanks for your help dude. We should get going, I’ll go find Larry and we can get out of here.”

You nod, standing and following Sal back into the house, heading for the front door while Sal went off to find Larry. With your mutual friend acquired, you all left for home, depositing Larry at his place and heading to your own beds, tired now that the social buzz had worn off.

Over the next week, you and Sal talked less and less, notes popped up in your locker, and small things like patches, stickers, pins and snacks appeared with them. You were confused to say the least. You loved everything this admirer gave you, and the notes were adorable, even if they were typed and printed rather than hand written, but you wondered why Sal had stopped talking to you as often as he did.

As the weeks progressed, you had started to like the secret admirer that was leaving you small gifts and notes reminding you how much they liked you. But the most recent note, which you had gotten on a sunny and warm Wednesday, really caught your attention. This time, it was handwritten in blue pen ink, the handwriting surprisingly neat, completely eliminating who you thought it was.

The note read: “y/n, meet me in the courtyard during lunch/break time. -<3”, and not wanting to disappoint, you waited with an uneasy shake until lunch came around where you went straight to the courtyard. Seeing no one, you sat on the ground by a tree to wait until your secret admirer got there.

10 minutes later, the heavy doors opened and closed with a thud, catching your attention and causing you to look up where you saw Sal, mask in hands, and looking down.

“Sal? Are you the one that wanted to meet me here?” You were..puzzled to say the least. Sal had hardly talked to you in weeks, and you thought he liked someone else like Ash, but it seems you were mistaken.

“Uh, yea, I am. I know you’re..probably upset at me for not talking to you in the past few weeks, but I didn’t want to say something stupid too soon. I hope you’re not too mad..”

“Sal, I’m not mad. I thought you were busy trying to get your mystery person to like you..and I guess I was right, but I didn’t think it’d be me..”

“Who else would it have been? You and I are as close as Larry and I are, we like the same things and I’ve known you since you got here. Hell, I’ve been pining over you for years now, but last year when Lar told me he was gonna try and shoot his shot, I tried to get myself to like Ash so I wouldn’t feel like shit if you said yes.”

“Oh, Sal. I thought it was Ash, you talk so much about her sometimes, I thought you actually liked her.”

“Oh, no, I don’t. She helped me with this, actually. Which reminds me, if its not obvious already, I really fucking like you. Like, you make me feel happy and just thinking about you makes me feel like I’m on cloud nine.”

Smiling at his words you stood to go over to him, putting your hands on his shoulders so he would look up at you, “I like you too, Sal. Like, a lot. I have for a while, and when you asked how to ask someone out,I..it hurt a little bit.”

Saying nothing at your words, Sal moved forward and wrapped you in a hug, his mask landing in the grass behind you two. Before you could return the hug, Sal backed up and his hands grabbed your face pulling you in for a kiss. Giving you time to react this time, you kissed back, your hands placing themselves over his.

Now, sitting at a college party with your boyfriend, you think to yourself, ‘Maybe parties aren’t so bad after all.’

#sally face #sal fisher #sally face x reader #sally face game #sal fisher x y/n #gn!reader

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mrskurono · 3 years

Text

a/n: Alright so I have baby feels (bc I’m ovulating, fucking hormones) and like all the kids I ever see are people giving the characters girls. Which, yeah its cute, but you know I want some hq headcanons with boys! So here we are me feeding myself content like a heathen :) tags: timeskip spoilers, fluff, parent!HQ characters, nothing that invovled its just kids headcanons, fem!reader involved character(s): Kageyama Tobio (hq), Hanamaki Takahiro (hq), Kindaichi Yuutarou (hq), Suna Rintarou (hq)

Kageyama Tobio + Two Boys

;| You know what’s funny, these boys were both 100% planned but Kageyama is that idiot that forgets each time you end up pregnant

;| “It’s positive???” “Love, you literally circled the ovulation day on the calendar so you could tell Fukuro you’d be late.” “Oh....That’s right.”

;| They both look like Mini Tobios™

;| He’s exceptionally proud of that in fact, dresses them up in volleyball gear constantly and makes sure each kid has a volleyball

;| Closer in age than he and his sister were. The oldest is about three when the other is born

;| They’re exceptionally close simply by the fact you both do everything with them if Kageyama is working

;| But conversely when he’s not training or working this man has his kids with him everywhere

;| Schweiden group actually loves these two (and you) Romeo adores kids as does Fukuro. Toshiro and Tatsuto are like the best weird uncles they could have. Kourai is just a larger child. And Ushijima keeps crayons in his work locker for the kids (and draws with them)

;| Work takes up a lot of time but in honor of his grandfather Kageyama stresses the importance of family a lot

;| Be default his kids really get along and love each other as well as kinda being momma boys

;| But Kageyama is whipped for you anyways so it would make sense both his sons listen to mom without hesitation

;| Often mistaken for twins even though ones older

;| Avid volleyball players as they grow up but Kageyama never pressures them to be as competitive as he was, constantly reminded of how bitter it was during middle school and high school to be alone, so Kageyama prioritizes fun before anything else

;| The oldest might follow in their father’s footsteps but both of them always keep interests in other faucets of life that Kageyama appreciates because he wants to see his kids happy how they want to be happy and not just because he’s a volleyball player

Hanamaki Takahiro + Three Boys

;| “Lets have another one.” “Well, what’s one more.”

;| Basically that’s how you end up with three kids

;| Makki adores kids and honestly he’s never had an issue with them and they listen to him really well (maybe it’s the deadpan stare)

;| One boy leads to another, then two lead to three, no you were never “trying” for a girl and honestly Makki is over the moon with three boys. Having had just sisters, he thinks it’s terrific

;| They’re close in age, like, 2, almost 4 and maybe 6, you guys wasted no time and really it paid off

;| All three of them are tight knit and at some point you had to worry if they were ever gonna make friends outside themselves (don’t worry they did)

;| While you might not have ended up with three mini Makki’s, they all three have “the stare” that sometimes you get all four of them sitting together and looking at you it feels like a judgement

;| Really they’re just looking at you but it’s hard when they look so unenthused and judgey

;| Makki is super involved (whether he’s working or a stay at home parent is up to you) Regardless he puts other dad’s to shame

;| This man adores each of them in their own way and never pushes the volleyball narrative on them

;| One or two of them might but none of them really make something of it. All of them though are incredibly smart and end up being Seijoh kids

;| Uncle Mattsun is their favorite because he has gross stories to tell but Uncle Iwa is a close second because apparently it’s genetic all three boys wanna beat him in something

;| Makki’s pissed because Iwa lets all three of them out do him in whatever sport it is they like

;| Makki is still trying to arm wrestle Iwa

;| All four of you men are incredibly soft and down to earth, Makki still makes time for you even with three kids and somehow makes you feel like the sexiest person alive

;| But no, a fourth kid is 200% off the table

Kindaichi Yuutarou + Two Boys

;| After Kindaichi gets through with his apprenticeship and is working, suddenly he’s found himself as a nervous first time parent

;| Not that it wasn’t planned, you both just stopped trying to prevent it

;| The first one was hard, neither of you will lie but Kindaichi’s dedication to mastering this baby stuff really sold you on another one when he asked if you son should have a sibling

;| A little bit more of an age gap, think four when the second is born, but honestly your first is as touchy and sensitive as their father so being a big brother comes naturally

;| Out of all three of them, Kindaichi’s kids end up the perfect blend of you both. Except the hair, both boys have widows peak and dark hair there was no avoiding it I’m sorry

;| Somehow having the second one was easier. Kindaichi kept them strapped to his chest or packed them around while big brother helped and suddenly you were way more free than the first time around

;| Both boys are incredibly smart and very personable

;| You joke that at least they didn’t inherit their father’s anxiety

;| Kindaichi finds this less funny

;| Both boys though are avid learners, great at making friends and enjoy volleyball

;| Yeah they end up Seijoh kids again and they’re like class 6 and up, they’re smart its scary

;| Thankfully as adults Kindaichi’s been able to reconnect with or stay connected with everyone so the boys have a huge support net

;| Uncle Kunimi swears up and down he doesn’t like kids, but somehow knows these boys so well that their birthday and Christmas presents are amazingly thoughtful.

;| The oldest actually ends up playing more professional volleyball while the other one either dips into another sport or works in the healthcare field

;| They’re both huge momma’s boy’s though and do not be surprised that they still ask for your advice and approval no matter how old they get

Suna Rintarou + One Boy

;| This little shit looks exactly like their father

;| Middle part, black hair, unenthused look, what the hell was the point of carrying him for ten months for him to look exactly like Suna

;| Who obviously thinks its the best thing on earth and gloats about his Mini Me more than he will admit

;| Suna excels in the weirdest parenting aspects

;| Physical touch and comfort? Amazing, can get his son to stop crying instantly. Remembering to do things like point at colors and say the names? Kinda forgets that

;| Another one who packs his kid around but opts for a carrier so his hands are free

;| Does workout with his kid attached to him, Suna ends up being an avid walker/hiker afterwards because it was low impact for you after childbirth and your kid loves the outside

;| Will never allow the twins within twenty feet of his offspring

;| Komori and Washio though? Oh yeah no shows his kid off constantly to those too

;| Gets asked when you’re gonna have another one by the way Suna is so over the moon with the first one

;| Inherits the knack for volleyball like their father has and Suna won’t lie he kinda enjoys it

;| Sets up a net outside and the both of them play a lot

;| Though he won’t admit it, Suna really appreciates Kita’s and Aran’s interest in his kid and feels a little proud when his old senpais tell him what an amazing kid he has

;| Suna always deflects it and says it’s only because it’s your kid

;| Deep down though he’s screaming because seeing his kid toss a ball to another Japanese Olyimic player melts his heart to no end

;| Maybe one more....maybe

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