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ecstilson-blog · 4 months
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Hope is a Powerful Motivator
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This is my second 90-minute scan since Thursday. Wow, this journey is exhausting. I didn’t fully understand how tough fighting cancer was, and like I keep saying, you never know what someone else might be going through. Be kind. 🤗
Anyway, I can hardly wait to get home, give the kids their charms from the gift shop (they love it 💓), play a board game with Mike, and snuggle Borah.
I met a family from Africa today. They were so grateful to be at the Huntsman specifically. It sounds like this cancer center might be their only hope at beating the exact cancer they’re facing. I need to remember to pray for them. To travel from soooo far away… Just the thought was sobering. And I act like Idaho is far 🤦‍♀️😅
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Thursday, January 19, 2023
Day: 0
I celebrated my 26th birthday today. I was due to visit my mum until I received a phone call from her. She’s in hospital she tells me. Melanoma, buts it’s okay.
A birthday to remember. Love you always.
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maimellowlife · 2 years
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Reaching £500 meant a 24h stream! Here it is, we gonna play and chat the whole time^^ tomorrow gonna be playing L4D2 campaigns! Which is going to be so much fun. Hope to see you guys there ^^ 📸Follow me on here @maimellowlife 🎥Twitch.tv/maimellowlife 🖥YouTube.com/maimellowlife More on 🐧linktr.ee/maimellowlife #charitystream #charity #younglivesvscancer #youngpersonwithcancer #terminalcancer #twitchstream #twitchstreamer #twitch #fundraising #fundraiser #playervscancer https://www.instagram.com/p/Chcm3DZIV3Q/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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I have terminal cancer, and want one last trip to give my son ‘forever memories’ https://www.gofundme.com/f/wjtfs-one-last-trip #gofundme #crowdfundingpromoter #cancer #crowdfundingcampaigns #crowdfunding #crowdfundingexposure #health #terminalcancer #son #father #trip (at Irwin, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CF-QPFmDsQZ/?igshid=3cl8330rcjup
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yanetkikyo · 4 years
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The pain in my heart is breaking free
From the shackles and chains it has behind it bars
Its shaking the cage profusely
It’s dying to be unleashed
It’s done waiting
It’s done being strong
It’s done masking itself as something temporary
It wants to be true
It wants to be heard
It wants to feel
It wants to feel so bad
Pain needs it pain
Pain want to be overwhelmed with sadness
Anger
Grief
Uncertainty
Loniless
It wants to feel empty
Pain needs to feel
Pain wants to inflict pain
Pain wants wrist to drip
And a life to be taken
Pain wants to be with the only person that understood pain
Pain wants itself to be gone
Pain wants to die
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Child of a terminally ill parent
The feeling of having someone sick in the house- a feeling that is at once all-consuming and never mentioned. There is a sort of tip-toeing about that happens, not wanting to make the sick feel guilty or coddled and not wanting to make the healthy feel grim at the prospect of imminent death. My sister offers to read a poem to my mother. The poem mentions perseverance and discusses tragedy and the strength that follows at its heels; love is weaved throughout its words. The message is subtle but pressumably understood by all who overhear it, though no one will speak it plainly- “This is for you, to offer comfort when times get unspeakably hard.” They are someone else’s words and that distance makes everyone feel safer. It is an act of crystalline good intention, yet distressingly feeble. All is feeble in the face of death. There is a sense of trying to prepare, and trying to put off. Paradoxes abound, as they have since the beginning of all life, yet now there is a spotlight on each side of the coin, highlighting the painful contrasts. We are powerless but we fight, we will brace ourselves for the inexorable pain, we hope for an impossible outcome. Our eyes are open and the stimulation rushing in is overwhelming. 
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What the doctor told him and what he actually lived...cancer story
https://www.bitchute.com/video/36tW1fNJzlPR/
What the doctor told my husband and what he actually lived. 
His progress & the inoperable agressive #tumor parotid stage 3. 
He is using 4 #tesla #biohealers and 1 #medbed generator from #teslabiohealing since 06/05 to help repair and regenerate his cells. 
Link to website: 
https://www.teslabiohealing.com/discount/JULIECM05?aff=197
#quantumhealing #cancergratitude #naturalsolutions #cancersucks #fuckcancer #radiotherapy #chemotherapy #teslawaves #alternativehealing #noninvasive #medicaldevices #cancerblessing
 #copd #alzheimer #parkinsons #lowenergy #chronicfatigue
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Could use healing vibes and well wishes for my brother in Iowa to far from his family. #FuckCancer #ColonCancer #terminalCancer #myHeartHurts https://www.instagram.com/p/CNNzitKMCpz/?igshid=eu2kkr4cltx
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vethelp · 3 years
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Our #vchcfamily is growing! Finley and her parents #adopted A veteran family for Easter. This veteran family is close to our ♥️😢. He was just diagnosed with #terminalcancer ,it spread rapidly. The light of this young veterans life is his granddaughter… And this will be the #last easter together. Finley‘s family supplied all the fixings for A magnificent #EasterDinner,EggHunt,EasterGoodies , And the full spread of Easter dinner… All of the decorations and all of the fixings. While at a conference in #disneyworld She spotted this Minnie mouse #EasterBunny. She thought of this veterans granddaughter immediately! Bought her on the spot… And traveled the globe to add this special item to her basket. #Thank you #MarineFamily #veteranfamily (at Veterans & Community Housing Coalition - Vethelp) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNFCb-YJHpD/?igshid=1wdq19vwxj8h6
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jakebogdon · 3 years
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Got the sled and the @mammut_swiss1862 out today...rode it way too slow. Lol. #henrikbogdon #henrikbogdon9 #arcticcat #mountaincat #oldsleds #snowmobiling #backcountry #mammut #barryvox #snowboarding #noreservations #noparkingreservations #rubymountains #terminalcancer (at Terminal Cancer- Top 50 Ski Decents in NA) https://www.instagram.com/p/CLVejvpFYMc/?igshid=f5idkj4ls52q
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ecstilson-blog · 5 months
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Throughout my life, I’ve written letters, addressed them to God, and dropped them off at the post office. I did this when my first son died, when I got divorced, and when I finally attained my bachelor’s degree after being a single mom. I never included a return address or a clue to my identity. This was just my message in a bottle, so I felt like Heaven heard me…
Today, I thought about this at the pharmacy. Mike had tried getting my prescription, but there are national shortages on many medications—and mine are some of them. “They ran out,” Mike said, coming back to the car. “Sorry that took forever; there’s a huge line.”
“But… my oncologist called yesterday. They have just enough for 18 days.” And then I did something I rarely do in front of Mike; I cried.
We walked back into the pharmacy to see six people in line, and as we stood there, my right leg began to shake. “You should go sit down.”
“It’s okay,” I told Mike. “I don’t wanna miss when it’s our turn.” They hadn’t listened to him. Maybe they would listen to me.
At different points, each person in front of us glanced back. They all seemed around my age (40) or younger, healthy, probably doing some Christmas shopping. Then, I had the audacity to think, “Why don’t they offer to let us go ahead? Mike was just in here. And I can barely stand this long.”
One man in line called his mother and complained while we waited. “Hi, Mom.” He paused. “Yes. Just at the pharmacy. There’s a huge line.” Another pause as he glanced back, listening to her reply. “Right?! He said he can’t even face his friends unless he gets a new gaming system this year.” He exhaled with such force that I clocked it at 50 mph. “Oh! And you know I take Nicki on a shopping spree every year? It just never seems to be enough. I hate this time of year. Are all women that needy? No wonder men joke about marriage.”
Mike looked at me and smirked. I plastered a smile onto my face, but it felt subpar. I thought of this woman, “Nicki.” Meanwhile I’m just praying for another week, another day, another moment with my family.
After a bit longer, they called us up and my leg shook so badly that I held the counter in a death grip. “I have terminal cancer,” I said, my eyes pleading with the pharmacist and my knuckles turning Porcelain 10.
“It’s for Magagna, right?” He looked at Mike, remembering him from earlier.
“My oncologist called yesterday and said you have enough for 18 days,” I begged.
“But like I told your husband, we can’t fill this for the full 30 days. We don’t have enough for this prescription.”
“My doctors’ office is closed for the weekend, and I’ll be out of this tomorrow. If it’s not too much to ask, can I please have the 18 days?”
He typed something into the computer, and my breath stopped. He practically held my life in his hands. “This’ll take about 15 minutes. I’ll come get you when it’s ready? You can take a seat over there.”
I noticed then how stressed the pharmacist looked. “I’m sorry about the line,” I suddenly said. “This must be a stressful day for you too. Thank you for your help.”
His peered at me and Mike, his eyes widening with disbelief. “What you're both going through is so much worse. I’m sorry you have cancer.”
“Well, let’s just say I didn’t ask for it.” I tried to laugh, but it came out like a hiccup. Then I turned away.
Mike decided to shop for some ice melt, and as I walked toward the chairs, I fought falling into the throes of irony. A private corner seat, behind a display of reading glasses, seemed ideal. I felt secluded as I mulled my thoughts. Why had this hit me so hard? Then it came to me, the thing I’d said to the pharmacist: “Let’s just say I didn’t ask for it.”
One of the hardest things about cancer is knowing it can affect anyone. I’d gone from participating in marathons to barely being able to walk to my mailbox. I faced the pharmacy’s northwestern wall and tears flooded my cheeks. I have terminal cancer. And there’s no denying it. Every moment in pain is a reminder.
God, not this! Not here. Wiping my face with my scarf, I dug a medical bill from my purse and flipped it over. “Dear God,” I wrote, hoping to calm down.
Dear God,
I didn’t choose this situation, and right now that’s hard. I don’t want to have terminal cancer anymore. I want a day where I don’t feel sick at all. Even ONE day. Just to remember what that was like. I’ll appreciate it so much. God. I feel trapped in my own dying body.
I hate knowing that without certain medicine I’ll die. I hate that these are my fears while some man’s wife is upset that she won’t get as much STUFF as she did last Christmas. Seriously?! I need strength. Strength to stop judging people.
Strength to keep getting cancer treatments. Strength to not complain and let this turn me into a bitter person with a curdled soul. No one can uncurdle milk! (Well, I guess YOU can.) But anyway…
Another person called last week and said I should quit getting treatments because I don’t have a quality of life. I laughed at first, but on my hardest days, I remember their words and it’s hard to keep going.
God… I’m sorry to be so judgmental. I really am. I’m working on it.
AND… if it’s not too much to ask, can you please give me strength? I know you’re gettin’ a lot of requests though, so if you can’t, I understand.
-Elisa
At that moment, I glanced toward the counter and spotted a woman who looked 10,000 times worse than me. She’d lost her hair and probably weighed 100 pounds—even with her walker. She could barely walk and hunched so badly; I wanted to pick her up in my arms and hold her tight. Why hadn’t I looked back when I was in line? Why hadn’t I offered to trade HER places? Screw my aching hips and shaking leg. Why hadn’t “I” done more? Then the answer came: Because I was too wrapped up in my own problems. And that’s exactly why other people hadn’t offered to help me…
Woah. Mind blown…
I suddenly felt sympathy for the man whose family always wants more. I felt bad for his wife who doesn’t know what really matters. I felt even more compassion for the pharmacist who’d just been yelled at and wiped sweat from his brow. And I felt a bit of strength come with every second that I stopped focusing on myself.
“You wanted to swing by the post office?” Mike asked as we walked out of the store.
I looked at the letter I’d written on a medical bill. It simply had my first and last name above all of the numbers. For the first time, I’d broken my one rule: to never write a letter to God that included personal information. “No, it’s all right. We can just go straight home,” I said.
With one hand, I crumpled the bill and threw it into a big garbage can at the front of the store. God had already answered my prayer. He’d given me strength AND empathy. I guess He really can hear us anywhere, even in a pharmacy in southeastern Idaho. Plus, He didn’t charge for same-day delivery or anythin’.
For more posts like this, please follow my page at https://m.facebook.com/realecstilson .
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maimellowlife · 2 years
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Hello! I would like to Invite you to my Fundraising event for the month of August on the platform Twitch through Tiltify! @younglivesvscancer Here the Video invite ^^ https://youtu.be/dolmfAgecbc And attached are pictures of what will be happening ♥ See you guys there https://www.twitch.tv/maimellowlife !(link in bio) Mai #Cancerawareness #playervscancer #youngpersonwithcancer #younglivesvscancer #terminalcancer #Fundraising #fundraiser #Twitch #charitystream #charity https://www.instagram.com/p/CgrppLAo6On/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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artofameera · 4 years
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Hey guys, I've been gone a long time.
The last time I posted on Tumblr was 2015. I used to post to Tumblr every other day. I was wild, free and happy most of the time. In 2015, I was travelling the World. Only to return, and find out not long after, that my Mum's cancer had returned; and it was terminal... My Mum passed away in 2018. When she died, a huge part of me died with her. Almost as if by living, I was betraying her. There is nothing but raw honesty left in me... I've been broken, I've lost it all, I fell down into the deepest darkest hole; and I'm still slowly re-building the pieces of my life, bit by bit. I rise day by day. Alot changed while I was gone... I have changed. Like a butterfly escapes it's cocoon, so have I been releasing myself of a life that no longer served me. I am back, to live, to write, to create... To be. Words, thoughts, my music and memories; are all that will be, when I too one day disappear... Permanantly. Until then - I've decided to be here.
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yanetkikyo · 5 years
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Tomorrow
They say .....
Tomorrow is a new day
Tomorrow will be better
Tomorrow is something to look forward too
Tomorrow is a gift
Tomorrow is comforting
To me
Tomorrow could be the last day I have with you
Tomorrow is your clock ticking
Tomorrow cancer could hurt you
Tomorrow my god could take you
Tomorrow.. i dont want tomorrow to come
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dwjensen · 6 years
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Of imperfect Miracles:
November 23, 2017
I can never really state with any amount of truth that perfection has been one of my goals in life. I remember reading or hearing somewhere that certain religious artisans go to great lengths to ensure that their divine depictions contain deliberate imperfections so as to not offend their Deity whom they believe is the one true perfection. Whilst the religious benchmark may appear extreme, the other side of the coin is just as stark and more commonplace in most individuals. The bar heights of our lives that we set for ourselves and the self condemnation we feel when we err and summarize that we are “not good enough” or “not worthy enough” in our efforts to achieve our own version of perfection.
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[Drinking in Cape Hillsborough 11-16-2017]
 Until a few years ago, I had always blamed other people’s standards for this self-rebuke until I stumbled upon my own revelation that it wasn’t anyone else’s approval that I craved, but my own. Like the Curlews that are now calling for company in the morning’s early light, I pleaded for my own sense of self to allow for my errors to reunite with my present and to let go of a story that would only mould the shape of my future into a sequel of my past. This was a work in progress until recent times when circumstance limited my future and made the past seem somewhat obsolete. I have since found the only other perspective that I thought I had; of “concentrating on the moment” can be not only just as damaging to my own fulfillment of life, but to my growth and understanding of this “life before death.”
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 [11:11:17 Double Rainbow - Day of Victor Jensen’s visit]
Miracles can also share the same dubious examination, as if the dissection of events and reactions are purposefully put under a glass slide and diluted by circumstance and durability. Or perhaps miracles are simply personal and subjective, better left for the individual to enjoy and the Devine to manifest. Upon either side of an over-flipped coin simply lies our own truth. Perfect or imperfect, miracle or coincidence; the enjoyment of all aspects of my life now floats like a well-balanced boat in the calmest of my emotional currents. And this is why….
 The last several weeks have granted me so many of these perfect miracles that my heart, soul and gratitude almost need another host to redefine their ever-growing boundaries. The tears of joy that I have shed easily outweigh any new born nursery and my sense of self has required several over hauls just to cope with the beauty and wonder that this life has gifted me.
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[Photo Credit: Veronica Wild]
I have finally reunited with all of my siblings. This was a dream, a prayer and a longing that now fulfilled, has placed a new definition of joy throughout my whole being. The renewal of wedding vows between Laurie and I saw again the perfect miracle of a love flowing from one heart to another while being witnessed by friends and family from both the local area and the other side of the planet. During the evening on the same night I was awarded a “Certificate of Appreciation” from the Queensland Ambulance Service for 28 years of service that was framed and installed with my badge and personal number. The sincerity of the words that were read to me that night was my professional miracle as I learned to receive such an honor.
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[Photo Credit: Bec Bannan]
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[Photo Credit: Caroline Pollitt] 
[Renewal CupCakes made with love by Karen Smith]
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[11-22-2017 Graham Peady. The kind of friend who shows up with his mower and whipper snipper and tells you to ‘suck it up princess’. ]
And finally, yet never last, the visitations and gifts of time and assistance that so many friends and family have bestowed upon me these last few weeks have been innumerable. These are too many to narrate in a blog and would contain nothing of the sacrifice of their time and efforts to simply help me along this journey.
 The receiving has been very difficult for me to accept. Perhaps that old part of me; of us all who still regards ourselves as “not good enough” should simply receive the gifts as “imperfect Miracles” or maybe even tentatively, creep slowly forward into the truth and bathe in the wonder of yesterday, today and tomorrow. They contain the perfection and they perform the miracle.
 What have I learned and how will I play my part?
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 It is my wish now to let everyone whom I hold dear to express my love and appreciation for them before my time is due. What greater gift can I bestow than the Perfect Miracle that I have been given.
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[Carmila West sunrise, viewed from the back porch]
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Update August 20th 2021
The doctor told him this…
Daniel Miron was scheduled for 35 radiation treatments following his diagnosis on May 5th 2021 : tumor stage 3 of the right side parotide (salivary) gland - because it was inoperable and an aggressive type tumor.
The radiation treatments started Monday May 31st 2021
They finished on July 20th 2021
We received and have been using: 
4 Tesla BIOHEALERS since June 5th & 
1 MEDBED Generator since June 25th (please note that this is the equivalent of 100 BIOHEALERS in terms of Life Force Energy) 
Before starting radiation: he already had a partial throat paralysis due to the size of the tumor and also an atrophy of his tongue, on the right side
The symptoms/conditions mentioned by doctor that would likely appear around the 15th radiation treatment: 
You will probably get Bell’s Palsy : that did not happen
You will probably loose your voice : that did not happen
You will probably loose salivating capabilities : that did not happen
You will probably be unable to breathe so you will need a tracheotomy tube:  that did not happen
You will probably loose your appetite : that did not happen
You will probably loose your sense of taste : he loss the taste of salt only in the 3rd week of radiation treatments & nothing else
You will probably have throat Paralysis : it was partially paralyzed but that was there since the beginning because of the size of the tumor of his salivary gland
You will probably be unable to swallow so you will need a feeding tube : NO feeding tube was required but the throat was partially affected
You will probably have burnt skin in the area of the radiation : yes he had burnt skin but he used doterra baby diaper rash cream and the burning stopped right away when applied
You will probably get ulcers in your mouth/tongue : yes these appeared around the 32nd radiation treatment. 
You won’t be able to work (he is a coach) : he did not work from July 24th-31st. 
The last 4 radiation treatments were painful !
His worst days (which lasted 10 days in total) were near the end of the 35 radiation treatments. His worse day was the 29/7/21.
During those 10 days he lost 8 pounds because he could barely eat due to the ulcers in his mouth and on his tongue which were really bad. Anything he put in his mouth (even water) would burn.
During this time he hyper salivated and his saliva was thick like glue. He would spit continuously to evacuate excess saliva. Even at night during his sleep he would drool.  
On July 31st he started eating again. He was obsessing over some slightly cooked raw meat. So he had a hamburger patty with a mushroom sauce. 
He has been eating everyday since that moment. 
August 5th 2021 :  2 weeks & 2 days after the radiation treatments. 
According to Daniel Miron’s experiences the Tesla BIOHEALERS and MEDBED Generator : 
Delayed certain of the predicted symptoms and prevented complicated symptoms from manifesting earlier.
Reduced the pain caused by my tumor and radiation treatments. 
Allowed me deep sleep and much needed rest.
Gave me the impression of being abducted : i felt as if i was leaving my body in order to go and rest in a safe place (or another frequency) allowing my body to repair itself.
Repaired & Regenerated my cells because i would always feel the tingling sensation all over my body 
Offered me More energy to keep me going through the whole process. 
Energized my body naturally 
Reduced fatigue & increased my strength and vitality.
Update August 11th 2021 : 3 weeks and 1 day after the last radiation therapy.
The nutritionnist had told him that he would not be able to eat for at least 3-4 weeks after his last radiation therapy. 
The progress is impressive. 
He has gained 3 pounds since starting to eat again on July 31st. Only 11 days after stopping radiation therapy.
He is maintaining his muscle mass.
This morning he woke up feeling energized which he had not felt since december 2020. 
His mouth ulcers are regressing 
His tongue ulcers are regressing
His throat is improving and so is his swallowing.
The swelling on the side of his face is diminishing. 
He sleeps less and less during the day.
We went away for the weekend and he drove 6 hours in total. 
He told me tonight, while eating, « hey i can taste the salt again! (i had put a little bit on his hamburg meat without telling him) »
August 20, 2021 update: 4 weeks and 3 days since last radiation session.
He continues to eat 2 meals a day of ground beef meatballs, mushroom sauce and potatoes. He has a good appetite. 
He has started to taste salt and sugar again now.
He is maintaining his weight and muscle mass.
He sleeps less and less during the day.
He rest’s during the day. He sleeps only 15-20 minutes. He rests in the chair and not in bed. 
His energy continues to increase. His stamina continues to increase.
He no longer has ulcers on his tongue. 
He has a slight swelling on the inside of his mouth on his right side
The swelling on the side of his right face is almost gone.
He kicks the soccer ball with me at night.
He is ready to spend 4 weeks at the lake (cottage) and do light physical work.
He is ready to start doing small tasks.
Regarding his throat, he feels that it is still swollen inside. 
He works everyday.
“I am not a sensitive person like my wife Julie so i was not expecting anything from these canisters. My wife was more excited about these things than I was. I must say i was surprised from the first day I started using them. I had just gone through my first week of radiation/chemo and i was feeling the effects. So I took a nap with 3 BIOHEALERS, I fell asleep fast and for two hours. I woke up feeling like a new man! All the cells in my body were tingling and that just blew me away. They are definitely a must to have by my side during this whole process. I thank my wife Julie for her belief in Tesla Energy because if it would have been my choice i would have gotten only one. But my wife came to me and said we are getting 4 my love and i am paying! I thought best not to mess with her. I had never seen her that determined about something. She was determined and convinced. I said Yes right away.”
We all need quantum healing energy to boost our cellular vitality and to heal at the cellular level. 
Visit the website by using the link below
https://www.teslabiohealing.com/discount/JULIECM05?aff=197 
& the discount code JULIECM05 appears automatically at checkout
Questions? Please Email us: [email protected]
Julie Chretien, Tesla Biohealing Affiliate Partner
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