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#that being said I actually feel the urge to draw again which is nice
patchofvoid · 4 months
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Thinking about Triumph….
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beewolfwrites · 1 year
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you’re one of my favorite authors so i’m so glad you’re active again! <33 I’ve started rereading awiaf just to remind myself why it’s my favorite fic ever so thank you for feeding into my brain rot since you started awiaf until now.
on the other side of this ask
I have worms for brains and I desperately need chishiya trying to drop hints that he likes the reader but just… is so terrible at it and gets frustrated because if it. He probably doesn’t even know the first thing about flirting, let’s all be honest.
Hey Anon! This probably strayed a little from your request, but if you'd rather have a fluffier version, I'm happy to redo it :)
The idea of Kuina being a horrified wingwoman to Chishiya's terrible flirting attempts was just too funny not to write about.
(Chishiya x gn reader)
(Kuina = losing hope in all humanity)
________________________________________________
It was killing her to watch. 
She’d given him more expert advice than she’d ever given anyone - heaven only knew that boy needed it - but he was still so stiff, so standoffish, and so goddamn terrible. And now, hiding behind a pillar in the hotel lobby, Kuina felt like crawling into a corner and burying her head in the sand. 
‘Thanks… That’s really nice of you Chishiya.’  
The words had come out in the same awkward tone that one might use when humouring children, or fending off an over-familiar stranger on the bus. And what’s worse, Chishiya hadn’t even realised. 
‘You just pull the pin and it should work,’ he explained, showing off the “pin”, which was actually a keyring attached to a piece of string. 
‘Great,’ (Y/N) said, eyebrows drawing in bizarre confusion. ‘I guess it’s useful to have… maybe.’ 
Kuina bit her hand, fighting the urge to drag him away at his heels. Luckily, she didn’t have to, because without even saying goodbye, or ending the conversation whatsoever, he was now walking away, smiling with satisfaction and leaving (Y/N) standing in the hotel lobby looking utterly bewildered by the events that just occurred. As Chishiya passed the pillar, she grabbed his white hood.
He shook her off immediately. ‘Was that really necessary?’ 
‘What the hell was that?’ Kuina hissed. ‘What about everything we practiced?’ 
He shrugged lazily. ‘I thought it went well.’ 
You can’t be serious?
‘That right there? That was a car crash. You can’t just walk up to someone and give them a bomb as a present. They think you’re insane now.’ 
‘I doubt that. I left a note in their room beforehand.’ 
Kuina felt the colour drain from her face. ‘You did what now?’ 
Chishiya gave a knowing smile. ‘While the games were on, I left a note on the bed explaining that I had a gift. It was hardly a surprise.’ 
Oh my god… This is a disaster. 
She placed both hands on his shoulders, locking him in a firm grip that he couldn’t escape from no matter how much he tried to squirm away. 
‘Chishiya, listen to me now. Normal people don’t do things like this. You don’t know (Y/N) well enough to just walk into their room. You’re gonna end up with some really weird rumours going around, and I don’t want to be part of that.’ 
He finally broke away with a scowl. ‘You’re overreacting. If you’re not going to help, you can find somebody else to annoy.’ 
‘I’m literally trying my hardest to help you, but you’re impossible. This is impossible.’ 
He made a small noise of irritation and stared aimlessly at the white lobby wall. ‘Do you have any other suggestions then?’ 
‘What about telling the truth?’ 
‘No.’ 
‘It’s not that bad. Tell them how you really feel. Admit that you weren’t sure how to show it, and you screwed up —‘
‘I didn’t.’ 
‘Yeah, you did. You haven’t got a clue how to flirt, and that was a horror show to watch.’ 
He averted his gaze, looking anywhere but at Kuina. ‘Any other bright ideas?’ 
She rubbed her temple. ‘I’ll see what I can think of,’ she said. ‘Just let me work on it, okay?’ 
As she parted ways with Chishiya in the lobby, Kuina didn’t have much hope. The situation was eating away at her, because believe it or not, she wanted Chishiya to be happy, even if he was an asshole sometimes. Well, most of the time. However, even after borrowing all of her expert advice and tips, he still couldn’t quite make flirting seem natural. 
And worse, he actually did like (Y/N), even if he had never really shared the depths of his feelings. But Kuina wasn’t blind. She’d seen the way his eyes trailed after them, no matter where they were in the room. He would only ask how Kuina’s games had been whenever (Y/N) was placed in the same group. Anybody else wouldn’t have noticed. Except Kuina wasn’t just anybody. 
I think I might actually feel bad for him. 
Stepping into the elevator, she pressed the button for the sixth floor. She was so lost in her thoughts that when the doors opened, it took her a good few seconds to realise that she was standing face to face with the object of those thoughts - the object of Chishiya’s affection.
‘Oh! Hey Kuina, this is actually kind of cool. I was just looking for you.’ 
Oh no.
Kuina could already see where this was going. ‘Really? We can go into my room if you want to talk,’ she suggested. ‘It’s better than standing out here.’ 
They must have been knocking on Kuina’s door, and since the timing was right, that could only mean one thing. There would be a very long conversation ahead. The two shut themselves away in the privacy of Kuina’s room, sitting on two small chairs in front of the window. 
‘Sorry for the mess.’ Kuina began scooping up the array of lipsticks rolling around on the desk behind her. ‘I think I already know why you’re here.’ 
There’s no point beating around the bush.
(Y/N) tried to hide a grimace behind their hand. ‘It’s… well. Have you noticed Chishiya-san acting strange recently?’ 
‘Strange?’ 
‘It’s just that - this is so weird. He stares at me so much, and earlier when I came back from my game, I found a note from him on my pillow. I didn’t even know he’d been in my room.’ 
Seriously, Chishiya? The pillow?!
Kuina feigned surprise. ‘What did the note say?’ 
‘He wanted to meet with me in the lobby, so I did. Just now, actually, and…’ (Y/N) pulled out a soda can with red and blue wires stretching from the lip to the base, and a tiny pull ring on top. ‘He gave me a homemade grenade.’ 
‘I’m so sorry.’ It was the only thing Kuina could bring herself to say. ‘I really am. I can have a word with him if you want?’
‘That’s not all,’ they added. ‘The other day when I woke up I found something in front of my door too. I don’t have it here, but it was a… a shank, I think?’ 
Kuina fought the urge to put her head in her hands and cry. Chishiya hadn’t told her about this, probably knowing she would disapprove. And disapprove, she did. 
‘I don’t have it with me, but it’s a piece of shaved metal tied to a screwdriver. There wasn’t a note but I think it was him. I didn’t really know what to say to him before. I just, I’m a little confused. I always thought he was kind of cute, but all of this is weirding me out…’ 
Hold on. 
Kuina’s eyes widened. She replayed that last sentence in her head. 
Hold on just one second. 
‘I’m only asking because I care,’ they said, ‘but is he okay, you know, mentally?’ 
‘Look,’ Kuina interrupted. ‘This is going to sound crazy, but hear me out.’
Maybe honesty really is the best policy. 
She took a deep breath. ‘Chishiya actually likes you. As in, he likes likes you. He’s just fucking awful at flirting.’ 
(Y/N)’s whole body froze, eyes flashing with hope. ‘You mean he likes me in that way? He has feelings for me?’ 
Kuina nodded and leaned back in her chair. It was like a huge weight had suddenly been lifted from her chest.
‘I wasn’t going to say anything since it’s not really my place, but the two of you are getting nowhere like this. I know how he looks, but Chishiya’s not made of stone. I think he just wasn’t sure how to tell you and decided to make you weapons for protection. He’s really logical like that. I guess he figured regular gifts didn’t have any value in this place.’ 
Have I ruined it?
She had tried to explain the best she could, to put Chishiya in a good light and dissolve any rumours of him being a homemade weapon-obsessed stalker. But by doing this, did she also sabotage his chances? 
(Y/N) smiled gently. ‘I guess when you think about it that way, it’s actually kind of sweet.’ 
Kuina was perplexed, to say the least. There was no way in heaven or hell that Chishiya was sweet. Not a chance. The man was cold, stoic, calculating, basically anything but boyfriend material. But she wasn’t going to say this to the one person who might actually be able to change him.  
(Y/N) stood up and grinned at Kuina. ‘Thank you! I think, I might actually go and talk to him now. His room is just down the hall, isn’t it?’ 
“It’s room nine,’ Kuina got to her feet too. ‘I’ll come with you, but I’ll be hiding around the corner. If it’s okay with you, I want to see how this works out.’ 
‘That’s okay,’ they said. ‘I’d like you to come. It’ll be good having you there, for support.’ 
The pair left Kuina’s room and headed down the hallway towards room nine. Judging from the vague shuffling noises they could hear through the door, Chishiya was inside. Kuina gave a wink of encouragement and hid just behind the corner, the perfect place to listen in and spy from afar. (Y/N) knocked on the door, holding the soda can between both hands.
The shuffling noises paused, then the door opened, revealing Chishiya. When he saw who was on the other side, his lips parted in mild surprise. 
‘Hey Chishiya.’ (Y/N) shuffled awkwardly. ‘I just wanted to stop by to say I’m sorry about before, if I seemed off. I was still kind of thinking about my game earlier.’ They held up the soda can. ‘Really, thank you for this. It’ll be really handy in a pinch.’
To anybody else, Chishiya’s expression would seem static, bored even. But Kuina saw the vague tug of a smile on his lips; she knew better. 
‘If you use it in your next game, I can make you another one,’ he replied. ‘Or if you need a knife that you can hide in your jacket. Tasers too.’
‘Tasers?’
He smirked. ‘All you need is an electronic device. It’s a simple rewiring trick.’ 
The two spoke in hushed tones, Chishiya faintly smirking and (Y/N) taking in every word he spoke. Watching from behind the corner, Kuina was delighted to finally see her efforts come to fruition, and she had to admit, these two oddballs kind of suited each other. Who would’ve known? 
(Y/N) peered over Chishiya’s shoulder, their face lighting up. ‘Wait, is that your workbench? Can I see it?’ 
‘Sure.’ He opened his door wider and (Y/N) slipped inside. 
This is the cutest thing I’ve seen in ages, Kuina thought. Maybe I should become a professional matchmaker. 
And then she froze. 
She froze because Chishiya didn’t close the door behind him. Instead, his eyes jumped over to where she was standing, looking at her squarely. 
Busted!
She gave him an awkward wave of her fingers. However, instead of scowling at her for meddling too much in his affairs, he gave her the briefest of nods - a small thank you for the world’s greatest wingwoman. 
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thebibliosphere · 1 year
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Hi! I was wondering if you’ve ever heard of ‘nutrition response testing’ (also called ‘applied kinesiology’ and ‘contact reflex analysis’)? I had it done a few days ago by a holistic health care practice and they recommended several (expensive) supplements for various health issues. I didn’t know that was what was going to happen going in, my mom got a recommendation for their practice and convinced me to try it. I was originally going to go along with it, since they really sounded like they knew what they were talking about, and made me feel very heard and respected, but now I’m not so sure. They made a pretty big oversight regarding me being allergic to one of the recommended supplements, which lead to me doing a ton of research on everything they were doing. It was pretty inconclusive. Some sites said it’s complete pseudoscience and doesn’t work at all, but I’ve also seen a lot of people claim it helped them with decades long health issues. I just really don’t know what to make of this, or where to go to figure it out, so I figured I’d ask you.
I also know several people who found relief from symptoms from seeing kinesiologists.
I respect their experiences and am glad they found help, but as someone who worked the holistic circuit for many years and still uses some holistic treatments in my own health journey, I am going to urge an abundance of caution going forward.
In holistic circles, there's a tendency to throw supplements at you to see what sticks. If you feel better, great! You possibly had a deficiency you were either unaware of or were just on the cusp of borderline so it wasn't flagged up in regular testing.
If you don't, there's a tendency to tell you to keep taking them because "these things take time," and also have you tried {x other product they also just so happen to sell in their clinic.}
And people do it, usually because the supplements cost less than going to see the actual doctor, or their doctor doesn't make them feel heard and this nice person is offering them a solution while sounding very confident about it.
One of the major draws of holistic medicine for a lot of people is that it lets sick people feel heard. We take time with people to make them feel valid and cared for because that is also an important part of the healing process. But again, speaking as someone with multiple holistic qualifications and who still uses some of them, holistic care is not a substitute for conventional medicine. It can be a good addition, but it should not be your only method of treatment.
Now, not all of these items are useless and not all people who sell supplements and other such things in their clinic are suspicious.
It's just that there's very little regulation on who can sell these kind of things (as well as very little regulation of the supplements themselves), and you need to be careful about who you trust and be aware of how they are being promoted to you.
(One way to do this is look up the brand of supplements being sold and seeing who their parent company is. Chiropractors, for instance, are notorious for buying supplements from companies that operate like MLMs, giving them incentive to shill them to all their patients whether they need them or not.)
It's true, some holistic types are very good at spotting deficiencies in how the body looks and responds to certain things. Especially if they have legitimate medical training to back up their practice. But that is also true of any conventional doctor who pays attention.
I walked in to see my PCP not too long ago and he was able to diagnose a zinc deficiency due to the symptoms I was describing and a subtle change he noticed in my nails.
Hell, my dentist was the one who figured out my mouth ulcers and the muscle tic in my jaw might be a b12 deficiency and urged me to see the doctor who ultimately saved my life.
In those instances, supplementation was necessary because I have chronic underlying conditions that prevent me from absorbing nutrients from my food.
Unlike any kinesiologist I've known, however, both instances were followed up with diagnostic blood work to check the accuracy of those suspected deficiencies, both to ensure it was correct but also ensure appropriate supplemental dosing.
I can't tell you the number of times someone has suggested I take "shit-yourself" levels of magnesium because someone who also shills essential oils on the side told them to. No thank you.
You didn't mention if the person you saw wanted to do diagnostic blood testing before offering you supplements, but if they didn't, that's a red flag for me. The fact that they missed an allergy you presumably told them about is another (just as it would be for a regular doctor).
So, should you listen to them? That's up to you. I personally prefer to see doctors who take a more holistic approach to the body, but I also know enough to combine it with conventional medicine and when testing is needed. I have that experience and know-how. Not everyone does, and it can be very easy to trust the nice person telling you to Buy Their Shiny Tonic To Cure Thine Ailments.
Maybe it'll help, maybe it won't. But it sounds like your gut is giving you a warning sign. I'd be inclined not to ignore it.
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aurumacadicus · 1 year
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I've done a lot of mean stuff to this pairing, maybe I'll be nice this time 🤔
ETA I WAS NOT NICE THIS TIME AND I'M SORRY I WAS TRYING AND I FAILED 😭
Deep Ocean's Drift
Bucky hated it when Tony was right. Tony was the smuggest son of a bitch he knew, and when he was proved right about something? Absolutely frustrating. He gloated. The blue scales he used to draw prey in flashed in his glee. He swam flips and figure eights as he crowed about how he was right and others were wrong haha how does it feel to eat shark scales. Or worse--
"Oh, Buck, I'm so sorry," Tony whispered, carefully reaching out, curling his arms around his waist to pull him close as he used his tail to gently urge them both into one of nearby currents, so they could drift instead of swim.
...He was gentle.
"I'm sorry," Tony said again, and blew through his gills to send jets of semi-oxygenated water against Bucky's tentacles. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," Bucky croaked, because it wasn't. Tony had actively warned him not to go into the fissures. It wasn't safe for his species of octomer. There were larger tentacled beings down there that ate them as prey. He'd met one.
Had only escaped by the skin of his teeth.
Tony blew through his gills again, then carefully asked, "Where's Steve?"
"He's fine," Bucky snapped, and immediately hated himself for it when Tony responded by turning his head away submissively. "He's fine," he repeated quietly. "He turned tail as soon as he realized that he'd have to face you."
Tony made a sound, which might have been hurt, or frustration, or agreement. His fingers trailed the edges of the seaweed wrapped around his arm stump. Two of his tentacles were gone, too. The tentacles would grow back. His arm... well. Who knew. All he and Steve knew was that him coming along could end one of two ways: Tony would be too distracted trying to comfort Bucky to notice, or he'd be so furious he'd electrocute them both. Steve felt he deserved it, but he also knew it would just make Tony feel worse later, so he'd watched from a distance to make sure he made it before swimming home to his own mate.
"I'm glad it's you and not Natasha," Bucky muttered, burying his face against Tony's neck, pressing a kiss to his fluttering gills.
Tony was unable to help a bark of laughter. "Oh, to be algae on that wall."
"Yeah, she's gonna be so pissed, apparently Steve didn't even tell her we were going down," Bucky continued.
"He cannot stay with us," Tony began. "She'll storm into our cave and then she'll see you and get aggressively protective--"
"Yeah she's gonna be mean with love," Bucky agreed, nodding.
"--and kick me out to go hunt for us all so you'll be stuck between her fussing over you and her screaming at Steve for being an idiot--"
Bucky sighed. "I hope he just goes to Sam's."
"--and then she'll yell at me for discharging my electricity because she can sense that shit even though she'd be the one who told me to go hunt." Tony huffed. "Should we go stay with Pepper or Rhodey just in case?"
Bucky actually paused to think about the merits of it, but finally, he murmured, "I just want to be home."
"Yeah," Tony agreed immediately. "Yeah, okay. How are you, by the way? Do we need to stop at Bruce's cave on the way back?"
"No," Bucky said, finally lifting his arm to curl it around Tony's back. "I'm good. I just need to rest."
Tony turned his head to press a kiss to his temple. "Okay. Okay. I love you."
"I love you too," Bucky replied, pressing another kiss to his gills, and pulled him closer when he shivered in response.
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vargaslovinghours · 2 years
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Half a dozen in one (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5)
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Oh no the Apotheosis is back and it wants to play, that’s never a good thing
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Scriabin is not into it
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I wanted to draw King Scriabin but I goofed up the crown so bad lol, at least his face is cute ✨
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Pokemon Vargases! From that time that I forgot how to draw their Pokemon versions lol. You have to approach Espeon!Edgar gently, he’s easily spooked
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Sylveon!Scriabin is such an attention hog, poor Edgar haha
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*puts my feelers around you condescendingly*
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Sleeping on each other, always ♥ Even sleeping, they’re still intertwined lightly, Edgar’s hand on Scriabin’s shoulder and Scriabin’s on Edgar’s arm ♪
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I had an idea about Scriabin “reading” Edgar’s mind by guessing how he feels about something, but I unfortunately forgot the specifics just as I was writing it down, so frustrating
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I do remember that it was something a lot closer to how Scriabin felt about that thing and he was describing how he felt, not just Edgar, but he realized too late
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Made him feel isolated :(
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Apology hugs 💕
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Who wrote this eviction notice, this is a cave?? I just think they turned out really cute here haha ♪
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Stop being naked >:0
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Don’t wanna get used to it >:(
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After all the Father and Daddy puns, I had to lol. Lady!Edgar with her hair down is just so prettyyyyyy
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Two mops, makin’ out
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For whatever reason, I started a teeny tiny little ScriAnimal series - first up is Scriabat with hand-wings because lol
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I was watching a video of someone with their bird who was munching on the inside of their glasses stem haha
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Scriabird is here to scream and knock things off the counters
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And cutely chew on things
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We are stopping this sketchdump for a Jake appreciation minute ♥ Thank you for appreciating Jake, now back to our regularly scheduled programming
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A quick and silly digital doodle - waxing via tape is not recommended
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Got the urge to draw dragons again, Scriabin needs to settle and Edgar is in protecc mode. His hugs are even harder to escape than normal!
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The original sketch for sleepy Edgar - I couldn’t decide whether to use “World’s #1 Dad” or “World’s Best Dad”, so I just used both for the final version lol. Did Todd give it to him? Did Scriabin? Did they both get him nearly-matching mugs??
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One of the early drafts for the ‘17 redraw; this was actually all drawn on one layer (on purpose! lol), which was a really fun experiment with some brushes I rarely use. I liked the angle of Edgar’s face too, he looks so smug haha ♪
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Tiny Edgar doodle for a quick reference, he’s so cute ♥
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I wasn’t kidding when I said it took a while to get Alone Together right, I was this close to giving up and just doing it the easy way several times before finally getting the trick down - I’m glad I didn’t but sheesh!
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I started a pretty long mini idea that I managed to get like 90% of the way through before deciding I didn’t like it lol, but there were still some really fun poses and expressions
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“What is it?” Light concern Edgar ♥
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Probably the most complex panel of the set, as much as I like the leg poses I’m also frustrated by them lol - didn’t help that my page smudged >:P
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A little bit of expression practice, the cute thing is Scriabin
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I heard it, we all heard it, everybody saw!
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Couple’a Scriabins to practice hair differences. I’ve gotten used to making him simultaneously fluffy and sleek like on the left, but I really love a True Floof look too, with many more starts and stops, it’s really fun ♪
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Uppies!
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Oscillates between “Why” and “You can’t tell me what to do”
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Brain baby Weirdly enough, this was actually inspired by a skin-horror idea I had but decided was a little too body-horror-y and so I repurposed it lol
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Some goofy matryoshka dolls haha. They remind me of Near’s finger puppets from Death Note somehow hmm
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More hair differences, using opposing methods of line directionality while shading and texturing Scriabin’s hair. Pushing up from under gives this really nice line weight; it’s harder to do consistently because I keep wanting to sweep down, but when it works, the shadows fall exactly where they should and it’s lovely ✨ And like I said, pulling down is a lot easier, and because of that I can get these really uniform lines - I prefer the tapered effect, but pulling definitely has its uses and-
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Hey wait a minute-
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Golden floof ✨ This is actually really hard to see IRL lol
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Edgar Warmup to see if my tablet was working properly, didn’t have time to pull up refs so from memory it is!
And that’s February through May again! Lots of silly little things, and a surprising number of scrapped larger ideas hmmm
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deescade · 2 years
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THIS IS ACTUALLY PERFECT THO??
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When Zhongli sees you walking around the streets of Liyue, he'd walk over to you to talk and eventually he would ask where you're going and then he goes "I shall accompany you then", while resting his arm gently on your lower back to guide you as you walk (you of course, thinks he's just doing that because he always has been a gentleman, so you don't think much of it.) He enjoys walking around with you as you enjoy the bustling city, and you'd stop at some points to look at the stalls— one of them selling jewelries and accessories. He'd look at the ones being displayed for a moment and takes out a gorgeous hairpin adorned with a certain jewel and suddenly going off on a ramble about the high quality material before tying it back to you saying, "This would look beautiful on you, darling." and again, you hadn't realize his advance of taking the time to genuinely express his thoughts about you, and you'd just think "Eh that's just Zhongli usually" hAKDHKEJALDIEL OR OR on a calm afternoon, when you see him having a cup of tea, you'd sit at his table to say hi and Zhongli would actually be delighted to see you. Soon after, you'd have your usual long and deep conversations and Zhongli would smile looking at you, hearing you talk (which you don't notice bye). He'd then say, "As expected, every single conversation with you is always meaningful for me, dear. I never cease to enjoy our talks, because I always seem to learn something new with you... Yes, it is quite nice to be with you like this all the time." (AND YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE WHAT HE SAID IN THAT LAST PART before he'd urge you to continue what you were saying. all of those advances and yet you're oblivious to him liking u bye 💀
HWOEH3OEJKE PLS ANYWAYS IDK WHY I MADE THAT INTO A WHOLE ASS PROMPT BUT ANYWAYS
As for ayato, he'd be so busy with his duties that he can't even get the time to actually prepare for the right moment to be with you alone and confess his feelings. Around the times that you do have time together, there would suddenly be annoying interruptions that would hinder his confession at the special occasion LMAO
(I apologize for the ayato hate crime as how i didn't write a proper romantic scenario with him like zhongli's 😃)
When Zhongli finally confessed and Ayato had found out, I'd imagine him cracking from his usual elegant and calm demeanor with all the pent up stress of his work and the constant things going wrong around his way from teling you his feelings because Zhongli confessed to you first. So he went up to Zhongli and yelled at him HAKSHAKAJAJ
You were shook about Zhongli confessing to you because you didn't realize he liked you that way, plus with Ayato basically also confessing about feelings towards you with his... Confrontation with Zhongli. Of course the logical option to choose either of them is.....!
Neither. You chose and ended up with neither of them.
Talk about awkward 😭😭😭
OOOO I LOVE THE LITTLE DRABBLE YOU WROTE!! I CAN TOTALLY SEE ALL THAT GOING DOWN BETWEEN THE THREE OF YOU 😳🥰 tbh I can relate, I can be hella oblivious too when it comes to romance, rip to us 😭 and rip to both Zhongli and Ayato too tho, lmao!! their admiration was too much to take I guess 😢
But again, I absolutely love what you wrote!! I think I've said this a million times before but I really enjoy seeing what people create based of the results they get from these games! Especially stories like these!! Thanks for putting the time and effort into writing it! It motivates me more to create more good games 😊❤
I might even draw a short comic strip based on your little drabble 😏 I think it'd be fun!!
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udon-udon · 2 years
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Introspective post time  
One thing I seem to notice that I always come back to and makes me down is when I scroll through on Twitter and see someone I know get big numbers on their post, there’s a 50% chance (85% when I’m on my period PMS-ing) I would be like “Why can’t I have that/that happen to me”. 
But Udon, you don’t draw fan art/things that are popular, you don’t have super super pretty art, and you’ve come to the conclusion that you just want to draw art as a hobby and you’ll be drawing whatever you want, whenever you want. It’s hard to get big numbers unless a miracle happens. 
I’ve said I don’t care about numbers anymore. So why??? Do I, deep down, still care about clout? Does me wanting to be noticed/recognized = wanting clout? If so, there’s no way I can get clout with the way I go about with art. I’ve always and still am always fueled by Validation and Positive Reinforcement in more ways than just art (i’m like a DOG, dude, praise me and i’ll be the happiest bitch on earth). Is me wanting validation for my art = wanting clout? Is that in actuality what it actually is? Cause if it is, damn bitch fuhget about it. Like I said earlier, I don’t draw fan art/popular things. So Udon, you either draw popular things, or you shut up and entirely stop caring and actually stop caring about numbers/a dream that you never worked hard for/is not working hard towards. Stupid thing is I keep telling myself that, and I’ll always be like “OK!! YEAH I DON’T CARE ABOUT NUMBERS!!!” and then randomly one day it hits me again knowing that friends are doing really good!!! and I’m not hating on them don’t get me wrong, I’m just wondering why I can’t be apart of that.  Well, you can’t be apart of that because as mentioned earlier 1. You don’t draw fanart and/or 2. Your art isn’t super pretty or noteworthy. And it just becomes a vicious cycle, rinse and repeat. 
“OK!! YEAH!! I DRAW WHAT I WANT I DONT CARE ABOUT NUMBERS!!”
“-Sees people doing really good- -Gets sad and feels down-”
“Well, Udon, you don’t draw fanart and your art is not noteworthy enough so stop complaining and stop caring and stop being sad about it”
Repeat Steps 1-4
It makes me wonder if this cycle would stop if I stop drawing or even stop going on twitter (?) Would things be better and would i stop thinking this way if I stopped drawing altogether so I won’t have numbers/being noticed to worry about. 
Even back on deviantart/13 year old Udon days, I would daydream about woahhh having a lot of art friends and having a lot people like my art and always being like “ohoho that’d be so nice one day” but I still only kept drawing original art. LOOOL. Make it make sense, Udon. 
And it’s still carrying over now. I only draw original stuff or stuff no one cares about. I only draw what I want and things only I care about. I only want to draw things that really gets me riled up and excited, but nothing makes me feel that way easily anymore. For example, the new G Witch anime. Yuri!!! Yuri!! LESBIANS!! I love yuri. Definitely did pick the anime up even though I know nothing about gundam, but am I excited enough to draw the characters? No. I don’t feel the urge to draw them (er, well at least not now). Nothing gets me excited anymore. (Though I guess this is getting off topic) 
Anyway, bottom line is/TLDR: Udon has inner demons about wanting to draw stuff that she likes, but at the same time wanting clout/validation (which usually happens when you draw popular stuff instead of things that ppl don’t care about). Which doesn’t really work unless a miracle happens. It just seems like my mind is confused about what it truly wants and each side is contradicting the other hence making me go crazy about this topic all the time.
Perhaps I’m tunnel visioning. 
Maybe it all just stems from me wanting to be loved. 
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shorkbrian · 3 years
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Cottgecore
Prelude - This is all @dearestdynamight ‘s fault okay I take no responsibility for the horny..... or do I? aha Sorry I said I’d write a drabble but it turned into a one shot whoops
Pairing - Yandere Bakugou Katsuki X Fem Reader
Warnings - NSFW, noncon, predator/prey dynamics, unsafe sex, 
Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/3R8PKPTPgHApBhCt3NUJ0q?si=uLON1Rw_RHaEpH2WaCfYBA (This music has a great runnin tempo/ it made me think of heartbeats skippin like outta fear so)
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“Alright-” Bakugou has you by the arm, dragging you past the threshold of the cabin he keeps you in.
You’re scared. Sometimes he lets you outside, to feel the sunshine and the nice breeze, to go for a walk down to the creek, hiding his smile as you gawk at all the pretty flowers.
But he seems... agitated today. Restless.
“-Here’s how this is gonna go.” He shoves you down the front steps, and you barely catch yourself from falling, turning to look at the blonde while he sits himself down on the top step, legs stretching out. “I’ll give you hm, five minutes -  got that? You got five minutes to fuckin’ run, and then I let myself loose.”
“Wh-what?” You’re not understanding, hands anxiously twisting at each other. There’s a predatory look in Bakugou’s eyes.
“We’re gonna play tag. I’m fuckin’ bored and I wanna get a nice little workout in. Chasing your pretty little ass through the forest should be enough to get my blood pumping.” Is his simple explanation.
He’s letting you run?
You don’t dare to hope for a second that you’ll actually be able to get away, escape from the monster of a man that’s lounging on the steps in front of you. 
He’s hurt you, abused you, kept you locked away from society, far enough that no one’s able to hear when you scream every time Bakugou fucks you.  
“I..... I don’t want to play.” Your bottom lip quivers, but you can’t tell if you’re going to cry out of frustration or nervousness. You can’t believe that you’re nothing more than a toy to Bakugou, something he can play with when he’s bored, keep tucked away in the dark when he has better things to do.
Bakugou leans back, rests on an elbow, lets his crimson eyes rake up your form before they reach your gaze. “Yeah? You don’t wanna play? Is that cause you know you’ll fuckin’ lose? I bet you’ll cry like a little bitch when I catch you.”
There’s nothing that you want to say to him. He’s trying to egg you on, but you won’t fall for his mean tricks.
“Fucking fine.” He shifts, smug smile appearing. “Time starts now. I don’t care if you don’t run, but know that I don’t have any qualms about fuckin’ you right here after your five minutes are up.” His gaze his burning into you.
At least if you run, you won’t just be sitting here, waiting as Katsuki counts down the minutes.
You take off, down towards the creek behind the cabin, grateful that Bakugou let you keep your sneakers when he had first dragged you here, all those months ago.
They’re practically falling apart, squishing through the mud by the creek, and you almost lose your footing, scrambling to right yourself, splash across to the other side.
It doesn’t matter that your shoes are all wet now, that the bottom of your dress is dripping. Truthfully, you hate the dresses Katsuki brings home for you to wear. Hate that they’re clothes you’d love under normal circumstances, flowy dresses and cute patterns, fitting in so nicely to a cottage core aesthetic.
Branches snap underfoot as you crash through the brush, panting, focused on one thing and one thing only; getting as far away as you could, as fast as you can.
You don’t want to think about what’s going to happen when if Katsuki catches you, this twisted little game of tag he wants to play. You want to scream, this isn’t even how you play tag, he’s just using it as an excuse to hunt you down, to take pleasure out of your fear.
Moving too close to a tree had you yelping as your shoulder collided, the rough bark scratching up your skin, tearing your dress. No matter, you just needed to keep going, keep running, keep moving.
It was starting to hurt to breathe, lifting your legs was tiring, burning. You’d never been much of a runner, and being kept under lock and key at Bakugou’s cabin hadn’t exactly done wonders for your endurance.
You found yourself cursing that fact as a loud shout rang through the forest, words indiscernible. But you knew it was the blonde, could recognize raspy, manic voice that comprised the shout.
Five minutes was up.
Wheezing now, you pushed on. You briefly considered hiding, but quickly discarded that idea. Bakugou could track you, and you didn’t have enough time. You would have to worry that he’d be even rougher when if he caught you, hiding instead of running like he had wanted.
No time to rest, but you wanted to, lungs burning. You had a stitch in your side, your shoulder hurt from scraping against the tree, and your mouth was dry, throat parched.
It wasn’t long before you began to hear noises behind you, brush crashing, branches snapping, pleased laughter. You knew Bakugou was toying with you, knew that he could track you silently if he so chose. But no, he wanted you to know that he was coming, chasing you down, relentless.
It hurt to push your legs faster, muscles fatigued, cramping. Your left calf seized up, and you held in a shriek, pleading, begging your body to keep moving as you limped on, hurriedly dragging your cramping leg, refusing to stop.
“Keep on runnin’, I’ve almost fucking got you!” Bakugou crowed, and you spared a glance behind you, thankfully seeing nothing but an empty forest behind you. It meant you still had time.
But not enough time.
With a start, you realized the noises behind you had stopped, which meant that Katsuki was beginning to actually hunt, silent and ruthless.
You don’t know where he is now, nothing left to do but urge your body forward still, exhausted and terrified.
Then a weight’s pushing against your back, and you’re hitting the dirt, tackled by Bakugou, pinned down.
“I knew I’d fuckin’ get you.” He whispers to you, breath coming out in proud, ragged pants.
You whimper into the dirt, body already aching, your own breath knocked completely out of your chest because of the way the male had tackled you. You hurt all over, and now you were dirty, and Bakugou wouldn’t get off.
“Goddamn, you gave me a run for my money there. Didn’t think you’d be that fuckin’ fast, Jesus Christ.” You can tell he’s almost proud of you, proud of his ability to choose a partner.
He pushes his weight off of you, rising to his knees, and you quickly try to follow him, not fond of being splayed out on the ground underneath him.
But Bakugou doesn’t let you get far.
You’ve gathered your legs underneath you, pushing up off the ground, but the man curls a hand around your hip, the other gripping at your uninjured shoulder. You don’t even have time to draw in a breath to ask him what he was doing before he’s shoving your face back in the dirt, lifting your hips.
“Bakugou, wait!” You screeched, hands fumbling backwards as you try to grab at him, push him off you.
The man just laughs, loud and rough, shuffles closer so he can push his crotch against your ass, let you feel the sizable bulge he’s sporting. “What’s wrong princess? I won fair n’d square, now let me take my fuckin’ prize.”
A part of you knew, knew that this is how things would end. But you had wanted to believe, had hoped that it’d be different. 
“Please, wait, not here-not out here.” You choked, feeling him shift the fabric of your dress up over your ass, just enough so that he could tug at the fabric of your panties, snap the edges against your skin.
“N’d why the fuck not? ‘S not like anybody’ll hear you when you start screamin’.” The reality behind his words made your stomach curl, legs trembling as Katsuki snickered.
“Look at you, shakin’ like a scared little deer.”
Your panties get tugged down to your knees, and you hear the slight squish of Bakugou gathering his saliva in his mouth seconds before you hear him spit, seconds before you feel the glob of wet land on one of your cheeks.
Fingers swipe through the mess, before trailing down to your pussy, spreading Bakugou’s spit against your folds.
He apparently isn’t satisfied with that though, because you can feel him shifting, right before he grips a cheek in each hand and spreads you wide, pulls your hips backwards at the same time so you’re angled just right.
Just right for his spit to land directly on your cunt this time.
“S-stop it, please-” You shudder, giving up on trying to push him off. It’s never worked for you in the past, and you’re tired from running, sweaty body yearning to go limp.
A finger enters you, too soon, with not enough spit to ease its way. You yelp at the burning stretch, but Bakugou snarls at you too shut up, take what he’s given’ you as he slaps your ass.
You can feel the burn of his gaze as he watches your flesh jiggle from the force of his slap. 
He works fast, doesn’t have enough patience to go slow, to open you up properly for him. The mans riled up from the chase, full of adrenaline that has no where to go, and he wants to hammer away at your little body until you break. Bakugou knows he can build you back up again when you do.
It’s alarming when you feel fingers pull free, feel the hot, spongy head of a dick pressing up against your entrance. You aren’t ready, nowhere near wet enough. “Bakugou-Bakugou wait, wait! Bakug-oh!!” The scream that leaves your mouth is loud enough to startle birds, cause them to rise from their resting places in the trees.
Bakugou laughs a little at that, the sound quickly tapering off into a groan as he works his cock deeper into you, wiggling his hips from side to side so he can fully seat himself into your cunt, balls snug up against your clit.
“Yeah, go ahead and scream princess, lemme hear you.” He encourages, pulling out just an inch or two so he can slam back in, hear you sob, watch your shoulder shake. with each heaving breath.
He’s fucking you into the dirt like an animal, feral and uncontrolled, wild. You barely have the coordination to try and protect your face with your forearms, keep your sensitive skin from being scraped raw on the ground.
You can’t protect your knees though, or the places that Katsuki holds you from, his grip too tight, blunt nails pressing so deep into your flesh that they draw blood, the pressure biting.
It’s impossible to hold back your noises, tearful, fearful screams reverberating into the forest, choked off as you’re rocked back and forth by vicious thrusts.
The man moves easily, fucks you with the strength of a stallion, growling out your name, letting out throaty groans as he chases his release.
And it hurts, so much, your body battered and becoming scratched and bruised; it hurts so much. Until heat pools in your gut, Katsuki hitting a special spot inside you. It makes your toes curl in your sneakers, has the slide of his cock going just a bit easier as you get that much wetter.
“Unh, n-no-ooh, please, ah! Please, ohh, Bak-Bakug-” You can’t even finish your sentence, not with the blonde reaching around, hand creeping across your stomach, down to where his balls keep smacking against your skin so he can rub tight little circles around your clit.
“Fuck-fuck yeah princess, there we go. Feelin’ good now? Shit, you’re squeezing me so goddamn tight.”
You hated his voice, hated how deep and raspy it was, how his gruff moans of pleasure made your stomach jolt with arousal.
“You tryin’ t’ milk my cock or somethin’? You want my cum that fucking bad?” The man pounding you into the dirt laughed, changing his posture so that he was curled over you, chest pressed to your back.
His hips rabbited into you, and you sobbed freely at the sensation, at his horrible fingers that wouldn’t stop drawing shapes on your little clit, making you feel hot and too close to cumming.
“No, no, no-” You whimpered, trying to hold back your orgasm, but it was too little, too late.
Bakugou’s hips stuttered as you gushed around his cock, barely managing three more full thrusts before burying himself deep, cock twitching inside of you, spurting out his warm cum.
Disgusting.
You were too tired, too spent to care how long the two of you spent on the ground, regaining your breath.
When Bakugou peeled himself away from your body, soft cock slipping easily from your warmth, you couldn’t help but cringe at the wetness that spilled against your thigh, no longer plugged in your cunt.
“That was real fucking good.”
Yeah, maybe for him.
Your panties were pulled back up, Bakugou smoothing them down before flipping your dress back into place as he rose to his feet.
He urged you up, supporting most of your weight as he easily tugged you upright. “Knew you’d be too much of a baby to walk back.” He grouched as your knees trembled, almost sending you crashing back to the ground if not for his firm arm around your waist, holding you up.
The next second, you were being lifted into the air, easily swung up into Katsuki’s arms, carried bridal style.
You felt his eyes on you, scanning over your face, your arms, your legs. Cataloging the various scratches and bruises marring your form. “You look like shit.”
You didn’t have a smart retort, just rested your head against his chest, grateful that he wasn’t making you walk, legs weak and jelly-like.
Your throat hurt from screaming.
Bakugou took you home, back to his cabin, to the cottage core life that you’d think was perfect... if only he wasn’t in it.
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spikesbimbo · 3 years
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Drunk in Love
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Summary:  Getting drunk and confessing your love for your “boy” friend and fucking him was most definitely not what you expected to go down on the usual night.
Pairing: Issei Matusukawa x Reader
Tags: Timeskip!Tattoed Mattsun, softdom!issei Hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, smut, fluff, virgin!reader, Unptrotected sex, non-penetrative sex, fingering, oral, pussy/thigh job, clit slapping, sweet dirty talk, praise, drunk sex
Word count: 7.2k
A/N: I heard pussy job and I wrote a whole ass novel
18+ Minors DNI
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You run your finger over the condensation of your empty drink, drawing shapes (or what you thought to be shapes, you couldn’t tell at this point) waiting for your dear friend, Makki to bring you a refill of your cocktail.  
“Here ya go.” Makki said as he returned with your beloved Malibu Sunset. The smooth coconut rum bringing you back to your first and favorite drink that you ever got drunk on in high school. You smiling at the memory
“Thanks.” you say. Your reply being mumbled by the liquid already in your mouth.
This all started with Iwaizumi calling Mattsun up, you and Makki hearing “You wanna get wasted?” on the other side of the phone. And with pleasure, you two were already packing your stuff up, shoving yalls “pregame” bottles back in the bag. The three of you made your happy way there climbing through the fence of the abandoned skate park you were in. Needles to say it was abandoned for a reason, but what’s life without a little danger.
You three and the rest of the third years have been friends since high school, meeting in freshman year, and now including Oikawa’s girlfriend. You actually didn’t like Oikawa at first, his “pretty boy” demeanor making you internally cringe. But his personality grew quickly on you, being the perfect target to tease you and Iwa clowning him over everything.
Now back to you on your nth drink, complaining about your previous job that fired you because u got injured, even though you know you wouldn’t have lasted long there anyways because you weren’t that academically inclined. Bright? Whatever you wanted to call it.
And as-usual it wasn’t long before your crybaby ass immediately called Makki and Issei and “tried” your best to tell them what happed with your dramatic self-induced tears running down you race, while Makki urged to you to try to calm down and Issei straight up laughing at the state your were in, snot running out of your nose. You recoiling at the thought, hoping they forgot. (Spoiler, they didn’t)
But now you nanny for a rich couple and you get payed good to play with cute babies all day, sounds good to you! Luckily, you had the week off due to them going on a vacation, you think it was France, no, the south of France. Must be nice.
Cue to now, Mattsun chuckling and leaning on you and Iwaizumi; both of you, especially Iwa, being visibly done with his shit. Him reminding you about the times you bought him some random shit, which you went out of your way for since he always payed for you, like that chopper keychain because you said it reminder you of him.
He didn’t know what compelled you to say his 6’2, tattooed built self looked like a tiny reindeer but okay. It still meant a lot to him, hooking it onto his motorcycle keys. But you knew he appreciated it, despite his appearance he’s a softie.
“You wanna try this’” He says gaining his composure offering you one of the shots he got.
You took one of the mini glasses, not being the type to back down and promptly swung the drink to the back of your mouth, quickly coughing before it even reached your throat.
“This shit is fucking gross.” You coughed out bringing the glass down from your lips.
  “Imagine being sober. Can’t relate.” He said taking another shot.
  “I guess I should do that but ive passed the point of giving a fuck” You said sending yall into a giggling fit while somehow Makki was thrown in to support yall from falling over. You two carry on laughing ignoring everyone’s stares at you thinking about how much yall fit perfectly together.  
   Makki rearranges himself to sit back in his chair, far away, from the both of you, whispering “Damn. I’m really third wheeling.” under his breath. Getting a snicker out of Oikawa sitting next to him.
   “When your best friends are ignoring you. Sad times.” He continues bringing his bottle to his mouth getting no response.
  Issei chuckles and gets up shoving his hands in his pocket reaching for the cigarettes. Pulling them out while failing to find his lighter
  “Fuck.” He muttered
  “Any’all got a light?”
  No one responds so you sacrifice yourself “Yeah” you say reaching into your pocket grabbing out your prized possession of a hot pink, bedazzled lighter that you did yourself, reaching out to hand it to him.
  “Don’t lose it” you stated seriously trying not to break a smile.
  “K’ sweet cheeks.” He said smirking into the butt between his lips as he walked away. Your face now burning up, hoping that everyone would think it was because of the alcohol.
  You mind wanders, thinking about the “dates” you two go on, from watching shows you “forcing” him to watch some romantic anime, to going to the skatepark, to playing video games with the rest of the 3rd years (which you don’t really like but you’ll play for him) and him surprising you with takeout, you bringing out candles trying your best to make it cute with him telling u everything you everything about his day.
  And you always tried to remain calm, even though sometimes he deserved to get his ass beat, like that one time he broke one of your favorite pair of heels. It honestly hurt him even more, he wanted you to get mad at him but no, you just acted like nothing happened. Making the guilt rise in him. Let’s just say didn’t have to lift a finger for the next few weeks.
You basically babied him, taking care of all his “chores”, mainly making him food when you were at his place knowing he hated doing it. Makki teasing you for acting like his housewife, leading to you slapping the shit outta him while trying to cover your now red cheeks.
You’ve never been so grateful for your attire at the moment, blessing yourself for not wearing your usual outfits of short skirts and cute tops, defending yourself saying what housewife dresses in beat up vans and baggy clothes. You definitely not imaging yourself in that position for the rest of the day.
 You expressed that you just liked to take care of people, which was true. You always looked out for them, bringing an extra umbrella, to bringing cookies you made at 2 in the morning to school, always carrying band-aids (yes, the paw patrol ones you took from the kids you babysit).
You checked the time on your phone seeing it was late since the sun at last went down, your lock screen being your dogs to their complaint since they have a group photos of you all from high school as theirs. To which you replied “They’re my babies” getting a groan and huff out of them.
  Seeing the notifications of your group chat you grinned at the contact name you and Issei gave each other; yall jokingly call each other pet names, his contact being honeybun and yours being pumpkin, even including Makki in your contacts as pudding bc then it wasn’t weird, right? no.
  “What’re you smiling at y/n?” Oikawa cheekily asks teasing you. You turn to him giving him a dirty look, not having enough energy to deal him right now.
  “Don’t listen to his bullshit.” Oikawa’s girlfriend says. You’re thankful for her. She was always on your side, being the only other girl in your friend group. To be honest you just wanted her and you to hang out most of the time, but of course to your disapproval her boyfriend and his friends had to join in.
  “Fuck this. Fuck you. I’m sleeping.” You say getting up to her objection, the only thing on your mind wanting to retire for the night.
  “You sure you’ll be fine? Let us at least walk you home.” She said already grabbing her boyfriend’s arm.
  “Nah, im good. I live right down the road.” You try to say not slurring. The last thing you want is him teasing you even more, especially in this state, knowing you, you’d probably start crying at the slightest irritation when youre this drunk.
    You started to “walk” towards your house resting  your hand against the brick walls to not lose your balance, leading you to run into Issei. You stopped to watch him lean against the alley holding a cigarette between his index and middle finger.
  “I’m hiding like a bitch” He says noticing you, resting his weight against the wall.
 “Wanna be a bitch with me? He grinned  blowing out the smoke out with his words.
You didn’t reply, just walking over to him, just being around him made you feel warm.
"Fuck its windy.” He says trying to light a new cig.
“C’you make me a house?” He asks.
You go up and put your hands around his cigarette, this not being your first time. Your hands wrap a little tighter to prevent the wind from burning out his flame. He joins you with his free hand helping, finally getting his cig to light.
 “Thanks doll” He smirks.
“No problem princess.” You reply earning a laugh out of him.
He takes his first hit with his and your hands still wrapped around it. He gets an up-close look at your hands, noticing how tiny they were, seeing all the scars that he never noticed, making a mental note to ask you how you got them later.
His head gets close to yours for the first time in a while due to his height. You glance at his face, noticing his features seeing some stubble growing on his face.
“You ain’t shave?” You ask, never seeing it in the past, while he was moving back up, blowing the smoke away from you.
“What, you don’t like my majestic beard? “He jokes. Making you giggle almost losing your balance before catching yourself on the wall.
  “s’too much work.” He starts. “You wanna shave it for me?” he says slightly leaning towards you. Handing you back your lighter knowing you didn’t need him to carry it because your pants actually had pockets in them for once.
You let out a soft laugh not responding again. He catches on, you got quiet when you were tired and he made out that you were walking towards your house.
“You going home?” he asks already knowing the answer.
“Yeah.” You respond more than happy to have him walk you back, him already moving to walk next to you.
He walks you home, you two talking about random shit, both of you forgetting about your skateboards leaving Makki to deal with them. And even though you’re drunk as fuck you’re still in the right state of mind, carrying a normal conversation with him. But just because you’ve built a tolerance doesn’t mean you can do basic tasks, like walk correctly.
When he reaches your house, he types in the keycode, your first dogs birthday, being glad that you, him and Makki have each other’s memorized.
He leads you into you house setting you on the couch, petting your dogs that ran up to him.
“Mommy’s not feeling too good” He said giving them the affection they deserved.
“Yes I am.” You slurred getting them attention on you now.
He walked over to your counter putting on the playlist that you two made together on shuffle, High fashion being the first to play. You didn’t like when it was quiet because too many thoughts would run though your head. You were in no way sad, singing the lyrics while you were laughing barely being able to hold yourself up as proof.
Remembering you were tired, he takes you off the couch and borderline carries you to your room, , setting you on your plush blankets that you had so many of because it was warm and comfy.
 “Easy, there. Try to sit up.”He said, trying to ask you what draws your pj’s were in because he didn’t want to snoop around; neither of you being bothered that you were half naked, what’s the difference between panties and a bikini, he thought remembering the times you’ve been to the beach together.  
Well it was maybe the fact that you were clinging onto him because u stumbled into him and he was closest stable thing around and you wouldn’t let go because it was cold and you couldn’t stop shaking.
 He ignores his thoughts and grabs the shirt he got out figuring you don’t need to change your bra because you told him and Makki that it was normal to keep it on for a few days after they were in awe as you were explaining how expensive they were. You calling Oikawa’s girlfriend to prove your point as she immediately agreed with you…Sometimes you might have got a little too comfortable with them.
You hear the song in the background change to Love Songs, you humming along, “Hope you smile when you listen.”
You were still holding on to him, your boobs squeezing against him, him only being able to put a t-shirt on you, while you looked up at him with your red glossy eyes making him burn up.  
You fidget timidly with your face now in his chest while gripping his sweater. Trying to build up the little courage you had. He tilts your head up making you look at him, wondering what you were thinking about.
  You try to express yourself, but you can’t get the words out him having no idea what is going on in your head at the moment.
“It’s okay to be nervous sometimes. Tell me” He gently says reading your body language. He was intuitive, so there was no way you could hide your feelings from him.
But you knew you could trust him, him having full self-control, always staying collected and following through on what he said he’d do.  He went out of his way to avoid any friction coming between you two, him never raising his voice or starting an argument.
“We need to talk.” You started. “About something important.”
“Ok…What is it?” He questioned rubbing his hands on your back. You were so nervous, were you really about to say this? Confess your feelings that you’ve pushed to the back of your heart for so long?
“I… I l… I love your face. And the stuff in it. and around it.” You spoke, being surprised you did it stutter.
He stood there, hands stopped moving trying to process what you just said.
“Just you, in general…”  You finally confess trying to state three things at once barely getting your words out.
But he understood exactly what you meant, or maybe he was warping what you said to fit what he wanted.
  "I don’t even know when I started liking you, but this shit won't go away." You restated
  Nope. He clearly just heard you say that.
  He doesn’t understand what’s so different about today. Yall have been in this scenario multiple times taking care of each other, sometimes including another into the mix.  
You didn’t understand either. You just felt like the time was right, even though you know it wasn’t the best idea to confess while you were drunk off your ass.
But you couldn’t help it, your feelings overflowing, which you never until this day let get the best of you, being vulnerable and trusting is not your usual . Youve never even had a crush on anyone, him being to only in your whole life to make you blush.
  Who you been vibin' wit and why I can't make you mine?
  You should have seen the signs that you feel for him when he helped that lady that lives down the street from him set up her Christmas lights or when he first met your dog that wasn’t fond of men, but it instantly liked him. And you loved his selflessness it was something you admired and applauded.
  “y/n” He tries talking you down, making sure you weren’t just saying this because of alcohol, deep down knowing he felt the same, you always being in the back of his mind.
You were generous with your time too, always being there for him. You knew he was softer than he appeared, he was tender, sensitive and vulnerable. He tried his hardest to not get into situations where anyone would get hurt, like breakups, arguments, and so on.
Which is why he won’t make the first move. He pushes his feelings to the back of his head. He values your friendship more than anything, but he can see what develops. If love is meant to be, it will happen.
I told you I am down for the worse or the better. But I keep sticking to you cause them four stupid letters
    “You make me so happy. And I’ll always care about you. Okay? He says breaking the silence, trying to reassure you.  
  “You mean so much to me—something I can’t even put into words because nothing can compare- I’ve wanted you since that day you tripped and bust your ass in the school hallway I still want you even though you drive me insane.”
  “Iss-“ You tried to get out only to have him continue talking over you.
  "I love that you can’t leave the house without a jacket. I love the wrinkles that appear on your forehead after you call me crazy. I love that it takes you hours to get ready. I love that you always know how to make me feel better. I love that even when you don’t agree with my decisions you always trust me to make them.  I love that when I spend a day with you, I can still smell you on my clothes; and I love that you are the last person I think of  before I go to sleep at night."
  You stood there awestruck for what feels like eternity until you mustered the bravery to speak “I didn’t expect you to feel the same way-” You said, being dumbfounded because from what you’ve seen treats everyone “nice”, were you really getting special treatment?
  He tilts your chin up, locking his dark eyes with yours. “Baby I don’t know if your notice but you and Makki are my only people that aren’t my family that call me my first name.”
He has a point. You think pushing yourself more into him, trying to fuse your bodies together to hide, not relaxing what you were doing to him. He tries to nudge your legs to the side but you won’t let go still clinging onto him.
“fuck” He groans. You pulling back wondering why until you looked down and noticed. A smirk appeared on your face as you reattached your self to him like velcro. You were feeling bold, the liquid courage still in your system driving you to slide your fingers down his chest, looking him in the eyes before stopping at his waistband.  
He knows what you’re doing, him being in this position multiple times. Does he really want to ruin your friendship like this? He hasn’t even asked you to be his girlfriend. He tries to push you off him already knowing you were gonna complain. But what he didn’t expect was for you to whimper out his name in that pretty voice of yours.
 He tried to keep his calm, blood already rushing down. “You know what you’re doing”
“yeah” You start.
“y’don’t want me?” Giving him your pouty face that you know he’s weak for, hoping that’ll work, insecurity piling up. Was it because your boobs weren’t that big or that fact that you were dressed like man? Was he not attracted to you right now, only liking you when you were dolled up?
“Fuck” You think. You should have worn something cute instead of dressing like a whole ass man even with your makeup fully done. Its not like you were supposed to know you were gonna get fucked today.
His were burning holes into you now, thinking of how to say “No, I would be more that happy to fuck you!” to his best friend, soon regaining his consciousness finally speaking.
“Fuck no doll, ive wanted you for a minute. You know me better than I know myself. How did you not notice my feelings?”
 You got me singing love songs, love songs, love songs
“You’re really hard to read” You replied trying to maintain your seductive act, resting your hands back on his chest.
“So are you.” He said lowering his head, you still looking up at him, taking in your gleaming eyes.
Sex ain't the only thing that's on my mind But you get me so excited, whoa
Your heart was beating so wildly that you could only take little sips of breath. His hands running down your waist stopping at your hips.
“Can I kiss you?" He asks "...yeah” you attempted to say as confidently as you could, nodding your head along with it.
His face bent down, hot mouth breathing over you. His lips slowly moved, brushing over yours, the liquor on his lips that you hated; only choosing fruity drinks even though you got relentlessly teased you for it.  You pushed further into the kiss desperately wanting more. Your teeth clicking his from being impatient, wanting to suck him in. Your hands sliding under his shirt subconscious desires reaching out.
Irreplaceable Tattoos from your neck that drop down to your ankles
“You’re drunk…” he says snapping you out of your trance.
“So are you.”
He dove in for another kiss much more passionate than the previous one, arguably needy, pusing you on the bed to which you more than happily comply. He tugs back not letting his mind get the best of him, disconnecting your spit trial leaving you panting. “You sure this alright?” He says deep down hoping you still say yes.
  You pull him back for your answer, your grabby little hands working their way back up his shirt. He gets the hint and pauses your lips rendezvous, taking off the turtleneck that he looked oh so good in, before seeing his unclothed body.  You’re admiring his body in a new way, before just complimenting him whenever he got a new tattoo, now up under him tracing them like a lovestruck teenager.
“When did you get this one?” You quietly ask, his ears closer to you than they’ve ever been.
“I got it that day you faked sick”
“What! You said were gonna take me!” You sulked, turning your head away from his as much as you could, crossing your arms.
He let out a slight laugh before gently taking your face in his hands, guiding you back into the kiss.
This is not really what he imagined for your first time. He’s an old-fashioned romantic who likes to take one step at a time. But then again nothing was ever normal with you. That said, when he falls in love, he falls deep.
“You’ve done this before?” You uttered.
“Hmm?” He mumbles, unmoving his lips from you kissing you, moving towards your neck.
“You still with that other girl?”
“No. I broke it off her, everything that came out of her mouth was bullshit, and no she wasn’t my girlfriend.”
“You didn’t trust her? You added. Trying to distract him until you could think of a way you could say “hey in my 21 years of life I’ve never got passed kissing a guy.”
“Our relationship was purely built on lies, I’d second guess everything she said. He replied, wondering if you were interrogating him.
“Why’d you wanna know?” He asked bringing his face up from your skin.
“…No one’s ever touched me like this, fuck.” You bashfully admitted, thoughts racing through your head that he didn’t want you anymore because you weren’t experienced.
But he knew what was running through that pretty head of yours, his fingers reaching out to with your hair trying to comfort you.
“You’re a virgin?” He curiously asked dragging his hand to your cheek, you leaning into it.
“y-yeah” you muttered trying to move your eyes away from his looking down at his body.
“I thought you had a boyfriend before” he said, softly turning your jaw to make you look at him. Your eyes diverted from his arms back to his eyes.
“We weren’t actually dating” You quickly say trying to clear up the misunderstanding. “He was my friend and seatmate that pretended to be my fake boyfriend to get me out of some trouble” you spewed out “and I guess I forgot to tell everyone that it was fake.”
“Even if we were that doesn’t mean we fucked.” You sheepishly replied.
“So… what trouble did your fake boyfriend get you out of.” He questioned knowing how much trouble it must have been for you, miss independent, to go to such lengths.
“Umm, well…this guy wouldn’t stop flirting with me even after I told him I don’t like him, even following me to my other classes.”
He wasn’t surprised, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes, in fact the prettiest thing he’s laid his eyes on, your beaming eyes, your dimple when you smiled, your pretty face, your “ugly” laugh, he could go on for days.
“Why are we talking about this” You whined, reaching your hand back out to him.
He took a hint and continued kissing you, bringing you closer to him while you attempted to take you shirt off. His hands helping you seeing as that you were struggling, being lost in his touch, finishing by moving you up more on you bed, pushing your plushies out of the way, to your protested because “they had feelings too.”
He ignored you, bending down to pull your panties off stopping once he saw the slick coming through them.
“Fuck baby you’re wet” He breathed dragging his fingers across your clothed slit earing a whimper from you, leaving his fingers drenched.
 Shawty, you wanna feel good, I wanna feel good too Don't I make you feel good?
“M’always wet.” you responded.
From what? He questions taking off your soaked cotton panties, tossing them to the side.
“From me?” He smirks bringing his hand back towards your heat. You not even comprehending what he just said, just knowing that you’re ashamed of how worked up you were getting.
You were in awe. You’ve always known his hands were big, but in this situation your mind wondered. His fingers were so much bigger than yours knowing you can barely fit two inside your with out it hurting, and not in a good way.
“Do you know how pretty you are? It’s honestly distracting.”. He says kissing down your whole body, stopping at your breasts, licking lazily around and coming back to the nub. The attention on your nipples making you squirm and he finally lets go, you grateful that he stopped or you would have almost cum, how embarrassing.
“I thought you said were gonna get them pierced” He remembered, you going on a whole rant about how cute they were.
“You said u were gnna get em with me” You looked back on, reminding yourself making him promise to get them with you because you were too scared of the pain.
“That was the same day you played sick and I got that tattoo.” He stated lightening the mood, hoping you can calm yourself down before you actually embarrass yourself.
He picks back up and continues kissing all the way down your body, you playing with his hair while biting your lip to muffle your moans and whine until he reaches your entrance.
He parted your legs, your pussy laid out before him, believing you no have reason to be shy about it either. He paused, admiring your swollen cunt and puffy clit, you were beautiful.
The feeling that he didn't want anyone else ever in his position overtook him. He let out a little breath on your clit and you thrashed around. He wasn't going to play. “I’ll take care of you.”
His lips travel over your skin, light and heated before settling himself between your legs, grabbing you by your thighs and dragging you closer. “That tickles.” you giggle, nerves making you kick your legs, almost hitting him in the face before he grabs them. He puts them down locking your legs with his arms, lowering himself until he’s on the ground facing you.
“Does it make you nervous when I stare?” he teases while your covering your face trying to hide the blush he caused.  He puts his mouth on you, quickly gripping your thighs, his hands leaving imprints in your skin dragging you even more into him, deprived kisses taking over your body. 
“yer so pretty” You purred seeing the sight of his big build between your legs, your fingers grabbing onto his curly dark locks, tugging them.
  Issei moans, his voice radiating through your body, forcing out a cry, blessing him with your pretty voice. “I-Issei!” You cry, never feeling like this before, your vibrator and hands doing it no justice.
“Shh, just look at me, doll.”
You can barely make out what he says, so drunk on pleasure. You try your best, doing anything to see the pretty man beneath you. But you get interrupted by your pleasure, your back arching not being able to control your body, grinding down to meet his lips, heat rising in you.
He kisses through your wetness playing with your bud. You choking on your spit, back arching again your body tensing up. “Issei,” You beg, grabbing him knowing what you want but not being able to express it. Luckily he can read you like an open book, knowing what you want, driving you over the edge as he makes you see stars. “Good girl,” he sighs when he feels you let go of his wrist letting him bring you your first orgasm.
“Look at your thighs shaking so much.” He teasingly cooed, wrapping his hands around them, bringing you out of your daze.
Shawty, your body is so exciting
Arching your back into the blankets, letting out a whine “Want your fingers.”.
He lets out a condescending laugh. “You need to learn to be patient. You just came and you’re already so eager for more?”
But by the time he finished your body went limp, you were totally weak, body loose-limbed and pliant. Your mind clouded by lust and deep in your own world. You gasped out a little sob, unable to comprehend anything beyond the discomfort and the need to have it gone. You can’t think straight all you can do is take action, grabbing his arm him easing his fingers into to you.
It’s not too tight, is it?” you ask clenching around his fingers.
 “Just relax… let yourself feel it” He says barely being able to move in you. Fuck so were so tight.
“I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” He added starting to thrust them inside you, making you let out a string of moans.
“Look how good you take it.”  
“Fuck, you’re so messy.” He groaned feeling the slick running down his hands, before taking them out.
“Issei-i,” You cried when he pulled away, pleasure leaving you, tears coming back.
  He shushes you easily, his fingers wiping your tears. You were so precious to him, your moans music to his ears.  He slows down repositioning his fingers, making you let out a whimper squeezing around them. Your brains so crowded you can’t focus, can’t gather the strength to speak when he thrust them faster inside you.
  Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you fell back, fingers curling inside you, chanting his name over and over, incoherent words coming out of your mouth begging for more. 
You pussy tightens as you cum, unable to breath, letting out gasps and whines. Him still fucking you, fingers not stopping, pushing them in and out relentlessly feeling both pain and pleasure. You lay there, wet in your own cum not giving yourself a break before you went and got what you really wanted, his cock.
His eyes followed the movement of your hands as they pushed down his boxers, revealing the length of his cock, that jutted proudly from his hips. He was so pretty, so virile and handsome. Wondering how lucky you were to be in such a position with him.
You pushed away those thoughts and focused on him, pulling him forward gently, but he followed his encouragement. One of his hands tilted his cock down toward your lips. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”
You parted them instantly, tongue sliding slightly outward, and then you whimpered as the warm weight of his cock slid into your mouth. You let your eyes flutter closed and swirled your tongue around the tip of his cock not knowing exactly what you were doing, but it was working, tasting the salty tang of the precum that wept from his leaking slit. You moved your tongue as the he put his hand into your hair, gripping the strands and pushing deeper into his mouth.
“You look so good on your knees like that. “He says meeting your eyes once again, almost cumming from the picture below him.
“Slowly, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” He says slowing you down by grabbing your hair, making a pace that you follow.
“Yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that.” Seeing that sinful look in your eyes with your redden swollen lips.
You moan feeling yourself drip down your thighs, getting even wetter giving him head. Trying to ease the discomfort by closing your legs, griding them together, trying to find some friction. Your ears hearing “That’s so fucking hot.” watching the scene unfold beneath him.
Your jaw hurts, trying got make him cum faster using your hands and lips together hollowing your cheeks. “Oh fuck, oh, Jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, fucking Christ" he groans out, his voice sounded beautiful to your ears, knowing he was about to cum.
He finally lets go cumming in your mouth, you swallowing it all, trying not to wince at the taste. “Did I do good” You ask waiting for his reply. Your doll eyes, so red and worn out looking up at him for approval. Fuck he was whipped.
“Yeah…fuck baby”
I love when you get on top and you ride it
You get back under him, his cock resting on you, drenched and clenching around nothing, resting in your cum. You working yourself up against him.
“What makes you think I’m going to fuck you?” He says to your complaint.
“You’re not ready yet.” he mumbles against your whining. Spreading your legs, slapping your clit a few times before letting his cock rest on your folds. Finally getting “seated” he picks up your legs and puts them both on one of his shoulders your thighs warming his cock, your knees touching his cheek not moving, getting a kick out of how desperate your were for him.
“s-stop being mean” You cried reaching out for him to come closer, needing affection after all you’ve been though.
“Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you? He says leaning into you, reaching your kiss, tasting the remnants of the cum in your mouth.
He plundered your mouth and slowly teased his cock over your entrance, catching it against your clit and making you whimper into the kiss, clearly wanting to be fucked. Your kiss turned you sucking on Issei’s tongue and lips, biting the swollen pout until his lips were red and puffy. He pulled back and looked down at you, a beautiful mess under him.
His fat cock head pushed between your folds. The moan escaping both of your lips was primal. You were turned on beyond imagination and the way he was thrusting forward, spreading his leaking precum on your wet clit was almost too much. He quickly picked up his pace fucking your folds, his warm head brushing against your clit with every movement, but your greedy self wanted more.
The fact that he made you cum so easily made you proud. Just because you’ve never gone this far with someone else doesn’t mean you’ve never cum, you’ve had a lot of practice over the years, being insatiable, the sheets soaked underneath you from your previous orgasms being proof.
“Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.” He moans getting your attention him.
You tried, you really tried, but the way he was stroking you, imagining what it’d be like to actually sit on his cock, the lewd sounds echoing in the background leaving you unable to focus.
He taps on your cheek eventually getting you look at him, keeping your mind on him by placing his fingers in your mouth you letting him, hazily sucking on them, not being able to close your mouth.
“Oh, baby, you’re drooling everywhere.” He grumbles. Your spit dripping onto his fingers, the friction of your thighs making him feral, moving at an even faster pace. Your body bouncing with every thrust.
“You gonna cum after I cum on your little clit? Come one more time for me, I know you’ve got it in you.” You sob feeling the puddle beneath you, time slowing, fire pooling in your tummy.  Listening to his words you let yourself go. You come with a silent scream as the pleasure ripped through your body, your nails scratching his soft skin. Your vison fading to black feeling him lose his rhythm and moaning a mixture of curse words along with your name, feeling him cum on your tummy before resting his head in your neck while letting your legs go.
“So good for me, look at how much you came.” He says breaking the static. You whining into his shoulder, emotions high, never doing this before.
“I know, baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe.” He says. You two laying in silence for an unclear amount of time, him rubbing your back while you rest in his chest almost dozing off.
“Are we still…friends?” You croak out trying to hold back your sobs already knowing the answer that you two were defiantly not friends now and never would be just friends again.
“Friends don’t do this type of shit” He maintained grabbing your shoulders to sit you and him up. You were worried, did he only do this with you because he was drunk? You were anxious that you scared him away because you just poured your heart out to him and pushed yourself on him. You left your head down, tears already coming out to your dismay. You moved your hand up to wipe them but he beat you to it.
“Look at me… I love you.” He says holding your cheeks in his palm. You in awe, hoping that you weren’t imagining it, that this was real life.
“R-really” You question making him worry too, preferring to forgive and forget rather than letting this a divide between the two of you in case you went back on your feelings. You were so overwhelmed, never feeling love until this moment, so happy that the person you longed for liked you back. Yours tears running once again.
 “Shh, shh, it’s alright...Don’t cry.”
You don’t even know why you were crying, the hangover already getting to you making you get a headache. You groaning in his arms complaining that your head and throat hurt.
“Ill be back” he says detaching himself from you, letting you know he was coming right back.
He walks to your fridge opening it to see every drink but water, having too dig through all of them, especially the absurd amount of apple juice guessing it was your “once a year craving for it”. He finally got you some cold water, putting It in a cup and waked back to your room.
  “Issei” you whined not picking your head up from the pillow.
  “Shh baby im right here.”
  He sat down beside you on your bed lifting your head up. “Here drink this” he reassured, to which you ignored not wanting anything to go in your mouth, just wanting the day, or night as it was now, to end.
  “It’s just water, honey, look.” You sat yourself up with his help seeing him in just his boxers, you remembering your still naked, not caring enough to cover yourself. He held to glass to your mouth, babying you, tilting it far back enough to where you could drink it. The water hit the back of your mouth feeling like a shot making you cough.
“I know, it hurts. I’m sorry but we have to” He stated. You continued to drink it, feeling the stinging in the back of your throat, him comforting you, calling you “good girl” which was unsurprisingly working.
  He put the cup on your dresser when you finished, climbing back into bed with you leaning your body into his. “Have you ever thought about...us? Y’know, as an...item?” he said causing you to look at him with wide eyes.
 “Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.” He insisted making you cheeks flush. You try to think of a way to respond, not wanting to keep him waiting.
“You’re the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me. Not only am I deeply in love with you, you’re my best friend.” You stammer out, your shaky hands somehow made there way to his neck, letting them fall slowly before he grabs them dragging you in for a kiss before you got to even see his face.
“Everybody has always thought we’re a couple.” He continued taking his time kissing you all over your face. “Then I guess we should be.” You retort, kissing him back before you could see his reaction, not wanted to be embarrassed anymore today. But he caught you, holding you still “Really “y/n? Like deadass?” He asked.
  “Yes dummy, I want to be your girlfriend” You say causing him to grin swearing you’ve never seen him smile that big, before he gives you one last kiss.
  “I always kiss you on the cheek, why are you blushing now? He teases laying back down, you following along. You just snuggle into him mumbling something along the lines of “m’tired”, he understanding and speaking to you in a soft, gentle voice while helping you to bed, so he doesn’t make it harder for you to sleep by being loud. “I’m here love, I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers into your ear mkanig your heart swoon one last time before you pass out.
  “I l-love you issei.” You sleepily mumble.
“Tell me this when you’re sober.” He says stroking your head.
“Just relax, close your eyes...”He murmurs, your heart beating slower every second. Both of you together, lazy, slow presses. Limbs pressed together, chests heaving, fingers trailing down backs, tracing lazy patterns.
  “Oh!…” He remembers. “If you really wanna get them pierced, we could get matching ones.”
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familyfriendlyweed · 3 years
Text
makeup sessions (karl jacobs x fem reader)
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a/n : hi! this is my first tumblr post. i have written stuff on wattpad in the past, but it’s still quite new to me, so please be nice :]] i accept positive critism and advice, as that most definitely will help me grow as a writer!
 Y/n let out something between a squeal and a scream at the same time when she saw Karl's tweet. her face was beat red and her lips couldn't help but curl into the stupidest grin ever.
the tweet read :
hey @) y/nhasursocks wanna do my makeup at my stream today :]]
 it was the simplest tweet, yet it meant so much to the girl. Karl and Y/n were always really good friends, they often streamed minecraft together, but never in a million years did he yet ask her to be in his stream in real life.
 Y/n picked up the phone with trembling hands, already seeing a bunch of likes, comments and retweets to Karl's tweet. before answering, she got curious to know what the people say. cautiously opening the comments section, the girl scanned it through with her eyes. a bunch of "awwwwws" and hearts could be seen, which worsened her already red cheeks.
With her heart thumping hard against her ribs, she started writing her reply :
sounds great! <3
 for a moment Y/n hesitated to press the "reply" button with the "<3" emoticon in the comment, but then she figured she and Karl sent lovey dovey emojis/emoticons in the past to each other anyways, so, she pressed the "reply" button at last.
 in an instant, her reply started gaining more and more likes, comments and retweets. Y/n was never really popular, having her clout was only because of Karl being her friend, so seeing this much attention was weird to her. but she didn't care about that right now. all that Y/n cared about at the moment was the fact that Karl appreciated her enough to actually invite her over.
 a little bit later in the day, Y/n received a private message from Karl, which said :
hey Y/n! I'm really glad you're up to stream together <3 i planned on starting the stream at 4 pm, but you can change the time if you're busy :] here is my address (don't tell anyone! :D) - (random address lol)
 Y/n answered :
 thanks for inviting me bestie!! 4 pm is cool, I'll be there! <33
 she set the phone down, unable to remove the blissful smile from her face. she has never felt this way before - it was really weird, but the constant butterflies in her tummy reminded her that it's a good feeling. taking a few deep breaths, Y/n reminded to herself that all she has to do is to go to Karl's house and have a good time AS FRIENDS - no romantic stuff is needed.
  ~~~~~time skip~~~~~
  Y/n got off from the bus at 15:50, but she still had about 5 minutes to reach Karl's house. in what felt like forever, the girl felt a sting of what was unmistakably fear and guilt - what if she was late? and what if Karl would be annoyed with her for that?
 slowly she broke into a panicky run. passing careless citizens, who all looked at her fear-stricken face curiously, she finally made it to the front door of Karl's home. Y/n pulled out her phone and found the code that she was supposed to enter next the main door. she quickly dialed it, a beep beep beep was heard and she entered.  
 finally making it to Karl's apartment, Y/n stopped to smooth her hair and straighten her clothes so she doesn't look too shabby. her body seemed to be moving on its own - her finger pressed the doorbell automatically.
 Karl opened the door almost in an instant - he wore a warm smile and before Y/n could stutter a "hello", he pulled the girl into a big welcoming hug.
 "hey Y/n! it's so cool you made it!" Karl exclaimed, still holding her close.
Y/n's head was spinning, she needed more time to process what was happening. but nevertheless, she finally lifted her own arms and hugged the guy. burying her face into his sweater, she inhaled Karl's scent deeply - he smelled something like honey and warm days.
"hello, Karl." she mumbled with a grin on her face.
"come on, do you want to eat something before the stream?" Karl asked, letting go of the girl and taking her hand into his instead, leading Y/n into the house.
"oh no, I'm full. let's get straight to business." she answered, the blissful smile and content blush never leaving her face.
"alrighty! you already know, but we'll have an eventful makeup session, and then I thought maybe play some minecraft so the stream isn't too short?" the guy asked, opening his bedroom door.
"sounds great!"
Karl smiled and went to his computer :
"you ready? I'll start the stream now."
the girl quickly fixed her hair again and gave him thumbs up :
"ready."
Karl started the stream with facecam on and as soon as the chat saw Y/n, it went absolutely wild.
"guys, give her a rest, poor girl just came!" he laughed, drawing her a chair. Y/n thanked quietly and sat, waving to the chat timidly. in the corner of her eye, she saw comments like "she's so adorable" and "look at Karl being a gentleman" in the chat and her cheeks grew more red, but this time from satisfaction.
"well, as you guys know, Y/n agreed to be in my stream today, and since some of you don't really know her, she's a really good friend of mine who also streams and does youtube videos - so go support her!"
from that moment Y/n relaxed more and more with each minute. it was fifteen minutes into the stream when she already felt as if at home.
"Karl, you have a hell lot of lipsticks, where did that come from?"
"uhhhh, I only bought them for the stream today!"
"oh really? why are they all used, then?" Y/n asked giggling and showing them to the stream.
"hey- don't expose me like that!"
"chat, clip it, CLIP IT!"
all was going really well, Y/n was having a really good time with Karl AS FRIENDS. it was really nice. but all hell broke loose when the time to put eyeliner came.
"alright, I have no idea why, but you have four eyeliners."
"they're my sister's."
"haha, yeah, yeah, alright. Which one do you want big man?"
"hmmm, the one in your left hand!"
Y/n set the other eyeliners on the table, quickly glancing at the chat. her cheeks grew very very red…
"Y/N DO THE MEME SIT ON HIS LAP" "SIT ON HIS LAP" "THE MEME, DO THE MEME!!!"
  a/n: if anyone is confused, this is an example of the meme i’m talking about :
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the girl tried to act as if she hadn't seen the comments, but Karl was already by her side, reading them with her.
"meme… what meme?" he wondered out loud. Y/n got the impression that he was genuinely confused.
'chat, shut the fuck up, please shut the fuck up.' thought Y/n, but of course chat was just being chat.
"SHE SHOULD SIT ON UR LAP" "THERE'S A MEME WHERE A GIRL DOES A GUY'S EYELINER WHILE SITTING ON HIS LAP" "WE'RE NOT FORCING BUT YOU GUYS WOULD LOOK SO CUTE"
Y/n hid her face in her hands, unable to control her blushing. Karl just chuckled sweetly :
"chat, calm down, she's going to die from blushing."
he put on the "please stand by" screen and scooted over Y/n :
"hey, it's fine. we won't do it if you don't want to," Karl then leaned closer and whispered, "I'd be pretty glad if you agreed, though."
Y/n lowered her hands, showing off the big red hue on her cheeks. for a split second Karl's eyes widened -  she looked really adorable.
"I'd also be glad." the girl said, almost not believing her own words.
Karl's adorable smile came back and he leaned back:
"well then, come here."
Y/n stood up shyly and straddled his legs, grabbing the eyeliner in the process.
"do you want me to turn on the facecam?" Karl asked quietly.
the girl nodded :
"I don't mind."
he turned it on and put his hands onto Y/n's hips. even without looking at it, Y/n knew the chat was blowing up at the moment.
"you guys better subscribe, because we're providing very good fanservice." said Karl jokingly and Y/n laughed. turning to him, she opened the eyeliner and put it next to his eye, only to find him staring at her in an awe. the girl blushed as a strong urge to kiss him kicked in. it looked as if Karl wanted the same thing.
at the precise same time, they both leaned in and pressed their lips together, Y/n putting her hands onto Karl's cheeks to hide the view from the chat. the kiss was very short and with no tongue included - but it was the most sweet kiss Y/n has ever shared with someone. she pulled away, an identical grin to Karl's on her face and hugged him very tight - they almost fell off the chair.
laughing, she continued to do Karl's makeup as if nothing happened and everyone watching the stream wasn't fainting and clipping the kiss. this will be talked about for a long time, but as before, Y/n didn't care about that, and nor did Karl.
a/n : anddddd cut! it’s quite wonky, but i believe it’s pretty swell for my first mcyt fanfic :]] let me know what you think of it and if you have any tips or advice on how to make my future stories more enjoyable! thanks for reading and i hope to see you around <3
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Text
All my kitty!lino AUs
Warnings: prostitution, slavery. 
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AU 1:
minho is a prized breeding kitty that you're hired to guard as he is a very rare and pure breed and having him breed other pure kitties makes for very profitable offspring
as a result of being treated like royalty all his life, he's super rude to you, a common guard dog
he's always snarky with you and he never listens and you have enough of it one day
you push him down to the floor, your teeth grazing against his delicate neck, showing him that you were not someone to be trampled on
"that's right. you have nothing to say now, brat." you growl, sitting up to look at the frightened kitty
but as you sit back, your ass comes into contact with his boner
arching an eyebrow, you smirk and roll your hips over his clothed dick "now what do we have here?"
minho stays silent, frowning but not making any attempt to push you off
"don't tell me you like this." you tease him, grinding against him harder and pulling breathy little moans from his pouty lips "kitty likes it when I'm mean to him?"
"Yeah you like that pretty kitty? Are you gonna make a mess in your pants for me? Good boy."
you make him cum like that without even touching his dick
minho is shameless after that brazenly getting on your nerves so you'd punish him
he gets so needy that now you're getting him off on the daily, letting him hump your thighs to get off while you degrade him
his insatiable need would be bad enough but now he's outright refusing to breed the cat hybrids anymore
no matter how many times you try to convince the stubborn idiot that he's going to draw attention and ruin you both, he still refuses
until finally you make a deal with him that you'll have sex with him if he continues breeding the cats
he's not fully convinced. why would he waste his seed on other women when you were right there?
"because I'm not your kind, you stupid cat."
but minho doesn't care. all he cares about is getting to breed you
"Fuck you're burning up. Are you going into heat over this? Dumb little kitten thinks he can put babies in my belly."
your words only make him fuck you harder as if he could do it if he tried hard enough
AU 2:
he's the prince's very picky kitty, rarely is a cat good enough for him. he rarely mates at all and the prince doesn't understand it one bit
one day they're walking around shopping in the bazaar when lino catches a whiff of your scent. he follows it to a shady part of the market that he never saw before
that's when he sees you standing there with a heavy chair around your neck and a cheap transparent dress over your body
out of nowhere a short disgusting man appear and he asks him if he wants to see your tits. it's only for a couple of coins
minho shouldn’t say yes. He has a whole harem of much better bred pussies for him to pick and choose from. He didn’t need to pay a disgusting man to see the body of some nameless mongrel
yet here he was hanging the slimey man the coins
the man all but rips your bodice open, eager to please the rich hybrid.
Minho feels an uncomfortable tightness in his pants. His mouth waters at the sight of your full breasts on display for him and he finds himself moving forward to touch, but the man steps in.
“The silver was to see not to touch. Three if you want to touch.”
Minho grunts and gives him what he wants. you don't seem impressed by him.
He cradles your breasts in his hands and leans down to pluck a pert nipple into his mouth, ear perked to the sound of your restrained gasp.
but then he hears the prince calling for him and he rips himself away from you and wipes his mouth harshly, panting as if he was under a spell.
Gulping, he spares your half naked form one last glance before he’s retreating towards his owner. As he slips back into the main room he hears the vendor call after him smugly, “We’ll be waiting for you, my lord.”
He does come back, this time more worked up than last time as he couldn't go to sleep thinking about you and he was reduced to getting himself off multiple time throughout the night just to cool down
his owner catches him this time though. "So this is why you were so eager to come back even though you hate the market. I gotta say I'm surprised by your taste." The prince grins. "Did you mount her yet?"
Minho blanches, feeling humiliated at being caught "of course not. I would never defile myself with such a mongrel."
The prince arches an eyebrow. "It's okay minho. Sometimes you need to slum it down a little. I get that urge too. Cheap prostitutes like her have their draw."
The prince grabs you and pushes her over a table, pulling your skirt up. "Come on kitty. Take her. I know you're dying to."
minho's hesitation evaporate when he sees your pussy exposed and waiting for him. he quickly comes up beind you, pushing his length into you even though you weren't wet. it's uncomfortable but it's not the first time a man shoves his dick into your pussy without bothering to get you wet
it's over soon anyway, the spoiled cat getting overwhelmed by your tight walls and ends up cumming embarrassingly fast. He stumbles away, watching his cum drip from your fucked out hole.
"We'll take her."
Minho looks at him shocked. "I finally have something for my precious pet to fuck. You're so picky."
AU 3:
You were standing outside the gymnasium for a quick smoke when a voice slurs behind you. "Where is your little boyfriend?"
You roll your eyes, already fed up with the boy that is talking to you.
"What, he couldn't stand the thought of fucking you tonight so he ran away?"
You narrow your eyes at him. How did he know you were planning to give your virginity to your Hyunjin tonight? If he had shown up that is.
You don't even know what minho's deal is. He wasn't always like this. You remember a time long, long ago when the two of you were friends. He was so nice and sweet to you when you first met as kids. But then suddenly out of nowhere he turned on you for absolutely no reason.
"Tell me, mutt. What was he gonna give you so he could get between your legs? A pack of cigarettes?" Oh yeah, that’s why. He looks down on you for not being a purebred like him.
You huff the smoke in his face in agitation, still ignoring him.
"Aw, don't be sad. If he won't do it, I can rise to the occasion. Just tell me how much." He goads you. You throw the cigarette to the ground, violently snuffing it out with your heels when an idea pops into your head.
Looking up at him, you reply simply. "50k."
"W-what?"
"You're so fucking obsessed with my sex life so you must really want me. So yeah I'll give it to you for 50k."
"You're a crazy bitch."
you were just messing with him. and he worked. he left you alone
what you never expected was for him to show up the next day at your door, shoving a heavy suitcase into your arms
"what's this?"
"50k." He mumbles.
“Is this a joke?”
“You said you’d give it to me for 50k.” He explains flatly, looking everywhere except at you.
you walk towards him. "You really are a sick pervert, aren't you? Buying my virginity?"
He stays silent, looking at the ground so you grab his jaw and force him to look at you.
"You're not in control. I am. Got it?" You sneer, and he stares for a second, processing that you’re actually agreeing to go through with this, then he nods enthusiastically.
AU 4:
you're a dog hybrid and he's a cat hybrid. He's been kissing you secretly since long ago
You know it's wrong but you like it so you keep it a secret. and you always get so jealous when his heat comes and he goes away to fuck someone else.
When he comes back he's apologetic and spends days trying to make you forgive him. He shouldn't have to. He's not yours.
You touch yourself while you're sleeping next to him a lot. He pretends he doesn't know but it drives him insane
He's waits till you have your first heat. You're supposed to be given to chan but he convinces you not to let your owner know telling you he'll take care of you
You know this is forbidden but you let him fuck you because you're in love with him.
"Oppa this is too much."
"Shh baby take it. You've teased me long enough."
He cums in you but doesn't pull out so he can fuck you more. He's been training himself for this in order to satisfy you.
You get overwhelmed and he laughs at how cute you are. ask him to kiss you so he does
"What a cutie. All mine."
"Open your mouth." He lets a trail of spit fall from his mouth and you obediently open up and take it like you've been taught. He groans and kisses you softly. You whine in his mouth as he fucks you again.
"Not gonna go to that mutt right baby? Only I get to do this to you."
AU 5:
he's the queens pet and you're the leader of a mercenary group the queen has hired to fight a battle for her
he immediately takes an interest in you and follows you around thinking that he's slick
In the beginning, his infatuation was merely amusing to you as you took to teasing him whenever you got the chance--cornering him when the princess wasn't looking and whispering filthy things in his ear. It was both easy and fun to work up the needy kitten.
What you hadn’t expected was for him to walk in on you while you were fucking one of your own hybrids, Chan. The big wolf tended to get rowdy so you were often rough with him to keep him under control, and well that's how the masochistic hybrid liked it too.
You expected him to be terrified of you after that, he certainly looked the part, but he surprised you by coming to you teary eyes and whimpering pleas so moving that you couldn’t resist giving him whatever he asked for, which was badly worded and clueless seeing as he had never been in any kind of physical relationship before.
He’s never done something like this before. His owner, the queen, kept him on a tight leash, untouched and forever pure. He had been taking suppressants ever since his very first heat and, before he met you, he had barely remembered what it was like to feel that painfully delicious pang of pleasure in his belly.
He holds onto you as you pleasure him, one hand fisted in your clothes and the other wrapped around your wrist as if he was afraid you were going to hurt him. If you were to look at his expression, you would think that you were hurting him, a small frown on his face as he whines and whimpers.
You stroke his cheek softly with the back of your fingers, finding it hot to the touch. “What is it, kitten?”
“It hurts.” He sobs.
“I know, baby. I’ll make it go away.” You almost feel guilty for purposefully prolonging his pain, the stimulation you give his cock designed to make him reach the edge at the slowest possible pace, but the truth is you weren’t sorry at all.
“You know, kitten, you should come with me when I leave. I’ll hide you until we’re out of the castle walls. Your princess won’t even realize you’re missing until it’s too late, and when you’re with me, every moment will be filled with pleasure. I’ll take care of you like she never did. I’ll show you a whole world of pleasure. How does that sound, kitty?” You seduce as your thumb flits over his weeping slit, distracting him and seducing him. “Hmm, you wanna come with me?”
“I--I’m not--I don’t know.” He answers nervously, his brain too hazy especially as you finally speed up your strokes, jumbling up all his thought process.
“Don’t think too much, kitten. Don’t you want to feel good?” You purr, tightening your fist around his cock to give him more pleasure.
“Yes, but--”
“No buts, darling. Don’t you wanna be a good kitten for Master?” You ask, referring to yourself and he gasps, his cock jumps in your hand. “Yeah, you like that, don’t you? You’re a dirty little kitten, aren’t you?”
“No!” He cries, shaking his head from side to side, but there is no denying the way his stomach tightens and his hips buck off the bed as his orgasm approaches and his primal senses take over. “I can’t take it! Please, help me. I can’t--”
His seed splatters across his abdomen as he cums, and you talk him through it. “That’s it, baby. Let go for me. Let it all out. Good kitten.”
you ruin him so thoroughly that he gives into her and lets her fuck him in front of the queen herself
"Lino stop that! You sound like a common whore."
"I can't help it. Mistress… is making me burn up." "Ah fuck." He keens
"Your precious kitten is getting fucked regularly, that’s why he sounds like that. He’s nothing but a loose slut right now. I fucking ruined him. Isn’t that right, kitten?"
"Hah... touch my cock." He drools on the sheets under him and you laugh, grabbing his cock from underneath and starting to milk him. “See? Just a dumb slut.”
___________
A/N: one of these will most likely get a proper fic but I couldn’t keep these to myself
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deluluass · 3 years
Note
hi
could yoy do please some yandere kuroo and kageyama headcanons? 💕
nsfw is welcomed 😊
My first headcanons 🤞🏽
Yandere! Kuroo Tetsuro
Content warnings: markers of a toxic/emotionally abusive relationship; dumbification; daddy kink; sex toy(s); mild public play/exhibitionism
😇SFW😇
This boy has a fascination for messy people.
And by "messy", I mean that Kuroo has a soft spot for those who put up some sort of front. A performative mask to hide their crumbling psyche.
Oh.
Those are his favorites. (Especially when they're not even aware that they’re hiding something.)
Maybe it's because they're so easy to manipulate? (Or perhaps it's a mild case of schadenfreude?)
It's the instigator in him.
He knows which buttons to push and at what time to exactly do it.
Kuroo lives for being that guy who causes a full blown fight by simply dropping a backhanded comment or two.
For being the final straw that eventually breaks the proverbial camel's back.
And then slipping back into the shadows to watch the Drama unfold.
So it's not unlikely for him to form an obsession for someone who's so emotionally vulnerable.
Someone who has the weight of the world on their shoulders; who has everything locked up inside to the point of bursting.
Because then it won't take much to have them falling apart and unraveling before him.
But he's also a caretaker, you know.
He's opportunistic and covertly callous and mischievous, yes.
But you've seen how much he tends to those close to him.
So when you do fall apart, you will do it in his arms.
He will take care of you.
He'll say everything you've always wanted to hear.
You're beautiful and wanted and loved and you don't have to be brave anymore.
Kuroo's here and he understands you.
From the barest changes in your inflection to your most subtle facial expression.
Other people won't catch it.
To Kuroo, though? Tell-tale signs that you're hiding your feelings again.
He understands you in a way that no else had; that no else cared to try.
And eventually that’ll be the very thing that you’ll hold onto.
Never mind that his every word has become an indisputable fact (when it shouldn’t be).
Never mind that the line between Kuroo just being a mindful boyfriend AND Kuroo disregarding your boundaries has become too blurry that it’s impossible to tell which is which.
Never mind that your entire world has narrowed down to just him and you.
Because all your friends have, one by one, made their way for the exit.
They tell you that they're so tired.
They've warned you- begged you, actually- to end this insidiously suffocating relationship.
"I know he's only been nice to you and to us, but there's just...something wrong about that guy," they say.
But until they pinpoint, exactly, what that "something wrong" is; and until you see it for yourself, you're sticking by his side.
Damn whatever people say.
So.
Kuroo's not the yandere who'd chain you up in his basement or something.
Not that he's above it, but because he doesn't really need to.
Not when he has you bound right where it really matters.
😈NSFW😈
Kuroo has perfected being a dom down to a Science.
He knows exactly when to be mean and hurtful and sweet and kind and giving to you.
Kuroo's very generous, methinks! But only if he believes you deserved it.
So you better prove that you earned it!!
He'll having you cumming and gushing into his hand if you pleaded just enough!!
Looked into his eyes all pouty and teary and pliant to all his wishes.
Very into treating you and talking to you like you're not capable of comprehending words.
Oh, darling. I know I'm hurting you. I know I am. But you like it, don't you? That's right. Fuck yeah, you do, you fucking slut.
That's because you're just a dumb little baby, aren't you? You'd be happy as long as daddy makes you cum?
And you'd nod and say yes so obediently as he pounds your little hole even though you can't hear him over the sound of your own moans.
ALSO!!!
HE IS A TEASE!!!!
A FUCKINGN!!!!!!!!! TEASE!!!!
Every seggsy time is edging time!!
Has a thing for slapping your ass until your cheeks are bruised and tender under his palms.
And for sticking a vibrator inside you while you're out in public.
Just to teach you a lesson whenever he feels like you're not learning enough.
"Do you want me to come back until you're ready?" the waiter droned, obviously suppressing the urge to roll his eyes when all you did was grip the napkin in front of you.
You couldn't even look at poor kid; couldn't even make out a sound. You're too busy stifling the tingling within your walls, prompting you to cross your legs beneath the table and squeeze your thighs together.
And Kuroo's just...scanning the menu. Sitting idly before you. He's resting his chin against his open palm, long fingers brushing under his nose, while you're practically grinding down the chair.
You feel yourself leak into the crotch of your underwear, sticky liquid squelching against the crack of your ass as the toy continued to vibrate, burning you up and melting your insides, the buzzing a white noise only you could hear.
His indifference was unflappable. Kuroo even managed to call out, "Excuse me. Sorry about that earlier. We're ready now," so smoothly despite your desperate attempts to catch his attention. Then, he recited a bunch of dishes that you didn’t have the appetite for. Like you’re not outright writhing and earning a few disconcerted looks from the table next to you.
All you wanted was for him to put an end to this. You've learned your lesson. You're not gonna disappoint him again.
Instead, you watched in agonizing fear as he reached for his pocket. And immediately, without a warning, you felt the toy shake violently inside you.
"Ah!" you cried, sharply folding your arms and legs, making the plates and utensils clink against each other as your wrists chafed against your hard nipples.
Your boyfriend halted, leaned closer, and looked at you in a convincing display of concern.
"Are you alright, babe?" he muttered, caressing your knee, his nails pressing down just a tad. Not too hard. Just enough for you to hiss in a heady mixture of pleasure and pain.
You managed a small, quivering "uh-huh" as you begged him with your eyes. Conveying as much message as you could.
"Daddy, I'll be good for you. I swear. I won't lie anymore. I won't make you angry. I won't do anything that you wouldn't be happy about. Everything I do from this moment on will be just for you, daddy. I promise, daddy-"
But Kuroo only huffed out, a small, faint grin tracing his lips as he turned back to the waiter and said, "One cream pie, please."
Yandere! Kageyama Tobio
Content warning(s): rape/noncon
😇SFW😇
Fourth wall break, if you will: thank you, anon, for putting these characters together because I Believe that they’re each other’s foils in terms of yandere-isms. And this is gonna be an interesting contrast to see (at least, I hope it would be).
So Kuroo’s all subdued mind games, right? Like, you have to do a whole routine of mental gymnastics if you want to dig deep and analyze how he had your head spinning. 
But Kageyama? 
Kageyama says fuck that.
Kageyama, genius though he is, is about as subtle as a metal bat to the head when it comes to his darling.
He has no qualms about tying you to his bed once the opportunity presents itself to him.
But it didn’t start out like that.
At first, perhaps Kageyama was just an aloof classmate whose entire life revolved around volleyball.
The one who couldn’t even take a time out of his day to hang out with the rest of the class on a weekend.
Though Kageyama has a knack for attracting hostility from other people, there comes a time (rare it may be) that it is offset by people who are sympathetic to his idiosyncrasies.
His darling falls under the latter.
That's what draws Kageyama to you.
Hearing stuff like "D'you know what they used to call him before? King!" and "King because he's an arrogant dickhead who thinks he's better than everyone" are not new to him.
But hearing these are: "Stop that. It's rude to talk behind a person's back."
"Kageyama's passionate about volleyball. More than anyone we've ever met. Ok so it's alienating for us! Whatever! But isn't it admirable that he's doing his best at a thing that he loves?"
Kageyama did not get it.
You're not his teammate.
You're not his..anything.
You had no cause to try and be nice to him and defend him and..understand him, really.
So the rest was history.
The beginning might have been awkward.
Every time he tried to talk to you, Kageyama, for some reason, always blurted out the wrong things.
But you didn't mind. You just liked being his friend.
And Kageyama liked having you by his side.
Kageyama liked it, especially, when you're in the sidelines and cheering him on. (This caused quite a ruckus in Karasuno.)
It should have been weird. Kageyama had not known anything else besides volleyball.
Your presence should’ve been that of a stranger encroaching on someone else’s property.
Somehow, though, you fitted in so perfectly.
Like you’re made to be there.
So he tells you: “You’re free, aren’t you? You should be watching me play by now” and “You should be waiting for me after class” and “Stop making excuses. You’re not tired. You can still drop by practice” 
You’ve tried to reason with him. (Even contemplated about ending your friendship.)
But it’s not like you’re ever gonna shake him off.
Besides, you know that he wouldn’t accept anything less than perfect.
😈NSFW😈
His darling was his first sexual experience. 
And like any beginner, Kageyama was pretty...uh..bad at it ngl.
Add that to the fact that he’s on the bigger side and your first with him wasn’t consensual.
At that time, all Kageyama knew was that he really, really wanted to touch you and kiss you and fuck you senseless until you acknowledge that there’s no running from him. 
Trust, though, that Kageyama will not settle for being bad or, heaven forbid, mediocre at it.
Nope.
Not. a. chance.
Doesn’t matter that you’ve spent the entire day fucking.
Kageyama will not rest- not let you rest, until he drags out a moan from you; until you’ve ruined the sheets with how much he’s made you cum; until he has you begging for more. 
Will experiment a lot.
Will test out how fast and hard he has to fuck you to get what kind of reaction he wants from you.
Very attentive even to your quietest gasp.
If you so much as show a sign that you’re finding whatever it is he’s doing to your body pleasurable- curl your toe or arch your back- Kageyama will amp it up to the point where you’re screaming.
He’ll have this haughty, shit-eating grin while doing it too.
“Yes, you can,” Kageyama growled. “Spread those legs and show me how you do it.”
You shook your head, your body protesting at the slight movement. You’re already on the verge of blacking out. And you don’t have to check the ticking wall clock to know that, by now, Kageyama, too, should be knocked out and dozing off beside you.
But he only grabbed your wrists, making you howl in pain as soon as he touched the cuts and bruises across the skin. Remnants of the nylon rope that bound them together not too long ago.
“Touch yourself,” he repeated.
Kageyama’s voice is a rasping noise to your ears, his hot breath causing goosebumps all over you as he pressed his lips against the shell.
“No-no more, Kag-Kageyama,” you forced yourself to say, though your throat was dry and aching from all your screeching. 
He clicked his tongue. 
You flinched.
And you didn’t think it possible for Kageyama to be more frightening than he already is. Until you’d done as he’d told and, like a wolf patiently waiting to pounce, Kageyama zeroed in on how you moved your hands, his own reaching for his cock.
He didn’t take his eyes off of you, groaning as you trembled and mewled under your featherlight touch. Kageyama stroked himself, grinding into his fist until pre-cum dripped from the head.
“That how you like it, huh,” he croaked.
Before you could even reach an orgasm, Kageyama had already pushed you on your back, mimicking the way you pleasured yourself. Only this time it was rougher, more unforgiving, and indifferent to your cries of “Stop! Stop it, I can’t- Enough, Kageyama!”
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glowingbadger · 3 years
Note
Hi it’s me, crawling through the window. Would it be possible to get a crumb of arranged marriage w/ Hubert? His line w/ Dorothea about being willing to get married for politics sake has fueled my brain rot for him.
Good God I need to secure my windows-
I mean HELLO FRIEND ANON YES IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE
Lol actually though, I have been thinking about this for Hubie since we all started chatting about that arranged marriage stuff! I think it's a perfect concept for him~
This like... got weird while I was writing it though?? Idk man hahaha it ended up on the less-spicy side of what I usually write, and with some very weird dialogue in places... Idk, I hope y'all like it. Maybe if there's interest, I'll follow this up eventually with a more smut-focused piece?
I've been traveling and working so much lately that I just don't even know what writing is anymore or how it works hahaha
TW: A brief mention of non-con
Hubert (FE3H) x Reader ("wife," neutral pronouns)
Arranged Marriage - semi spicy i guess?
"Frankly, he's a pain," Linhardt must be able to see your surprise and confusion written across your face. He goes on, "He's reliable and capable, of course, but also the most persistent nag you'll ever meet. Actually, no-" he glances upward as though to cross reference his own thoughts, "No, her Majesty is worse. But Hubert is a close second to be sure. Always on and on about sleep schedules and proper nutrition and etiquette..." He sighs and closes the massive tome on his lap, as though to close the conversation with it, "frankly, he's an insufferable mother hen. Does that help?"
"Well, it's... Not what I expected," you admit with a shrug, "but thank you all the same."
~
It's been several weeks since the papers binding you in marriage to Hubert Von Vestra had been signed- and this alone had sufficed. No ceremony, no grand ball, just paperwork and a handshake with your father. A handshake that ensured that, even under the Empire's unification, he would maintain nominal control over his considerable portion of land, and in return, would swear absolute loyalty to her Majesty. It was a beneficial arrangement for all parties, and you were not ignorant to the part you played. You were hardly even a bargaining chip- moreso, a hostage.
Your new husband had made no secret of what manner of harm may befall you if your family were to renege on their deal. Fortunately, you know your father to be a reliable coward, so you have no reason to believe he would be bold enough to step out of line.
Hubert Von Vestra is a terrifying man. A zealously loyal man of storied cruelty and a frigid disposition. His frame looms over you whenever he's near, and though he's hardly placed a finger on you since you'd been given over to him, his mere presence is... arresting. There's a sort of charisma to him that's equal parts frightening and fascinating. Perhaps it's madness brought on by your circumstances, but you can't help wanting to glimpse just the slightest bit into that brilliant, ever churning mind.
Unsurprisingly, he has been resistant to your attempts to understand him. He hardly indulges you in small talk, and if you were the paranoid sort, you'd think he intentionally makes himself busy when you're around. Eventually, perhaps out of sheer stubbornness, you'd settled on a routine of bringing coffee to his study adjoined to your bedroom in the evenings. He'd been visibly surprised the first time. It wasn't until the fourth night that he'd given a curt "thank you." About two weeks in, he'd actually sat back in his chair and laid down his quill pen to receive the cup from your hands. After a month, he'd leveled his narrow gaze at you and said,
"I cannot begin to fathom what satisfaction you glean from playing 'maid' to me."
"Well, I, uhm," you hadn't expected him to address you so directly, but you managed to say, "You... work so hard, I wanted to do something for you, I suppose."
His expression is inscrutable as he replies,
"You are aware that my work was much the same before you arrived."
"I am," you say softly, "But- all the same..." you trail off, and Hubert seems content to let the matter rest. And so you leave him be amidst his reports and correspondence, coffee at his side on the desk. Yet for as unproductive as your exchange might have seemed, it does leave you with an idea. The thought to learn about the man from those who knew him long before your arrival at the capitol.
~
Your investigation into the true character of your husband does not stop with Linhardt. In fact, his testimony only leaves you with further questions. But perhaps the others would say otherwise; perhaps the United Empire's most up and coming crest scholar simply inspires maternal behavior. This has to be the case- you simply can't imagine that the notoriously ruthless heir of the even more notorious Vestra lineage would be so... Doting.
And yet the more you learn of him, the more contradictory he seems.
Caspar's take is much like Linhardt's- a picture of a man far closer to a school marm than any assassin or master of torture. Ferdinand seems both smitten and incensed by him, oscillating wildly between the two. Then eventually, to your shock, Bernadetta takes the initiative to speak to you about Hubert of her own accord.
"I'm, uh, really so-sorry to bother you!" she approaches with arms drawn close to her chest and eyes resolutely avoiding yours, "I- I just heard that you were... asking about Hubert, so, I, uh..."
It takes some time to prompt her further. You assure her again and again- no, this isn't intrusive at all- yes, you'd very much like to hear her perspective- no, you're not mad at her. In truth, you're endlessly intrigued about what a gentle soul like Bernadetta would have to say about a man feared across the continent. Finally, she manages,
"He's... actually really kind!" she blurts out, as though the words would abandon her if she gave them the window of opportunity. Your eyebrows raise slightly.
"You think so..?"
"Yes, completely-!" she stammers, "I know he's super, super scary, and powerful and spooky and cold and, uh, all of that. But still," her voice falters as she continues, "He only scolds people when they do something dangerous. And he only hurts people to protect others. I... I know he's done some te-terrible things. But... he's always been nice to Bernie," finally, she meets your eyes with an imploring look in hers, "So, uh, I'm really grateful to him. And I think it would be really nice for someone to reach out to him. If... if that's not too weird or anything. For you."
You smile warmly and nod,
"Thank you, Bernadetta. I know it can't be easy for you to come to me with all of this, but... I'd like to try, if I can."
The opportunity doesn't come in the way you expect.
At first, it seems the night will proceed like many others before. You bring a cup of coffee to your husband's desk, setting it down quietly so as to not disturb him. He's silent, but this is common enough, so you head back to the bedroom to undress for the evening. All nights prior, he would lay beside you long after you'd settled in, then rise to resume work in the morning before you woke up- all the while never allowing your bodies to interact in any way.
Tonight, just as you're about to close the door to Hubert's study behind you, long fingers catch around your wrist, visibly startling you.
It's the most physical contact you've had to-date, but he only says,
"One moment."
You whip around to face him, a touch of anxiety evident in your eyes. It's clear in his own that he notices, but if anything, he only seems amused. He steps forward, his taller frame menacing you as he speaks,
"I understand that you have been busying yourself with some manner of investigation as of late."
It takes a moment for his meaning to reach you. When it does, your face burns and you can't bring yourself to meet his scrutinizing gaze,
"Oh, uhm..."
"I assure you, my dearest wife," he says with barely concealed venom, "anything that I do not wish for you to know will be kept from you. Aside from which, your efforts thus far have proven amateurish at best."
Something seems off about his tone. You could understand if he felt uncomfortable or hesitant about your efforts to learn about him, but this seems far more grave, more... business-like. He steps towards you once more, and you step back in turn. Yet before long, you feel your legs bump the edge of the bed. A gloved hand trails a fingertip down your jawline to your chin, then urges you to look up at him.
"Whatever you are planning, my dear, I promise it will be fruitless. You had best rethink how you spend your days before your actions bring you to harm."
"No, I-" your brow creases deeply, your face burns, your body burns hotter and you don't want to consider why, "I've just been trying to learn about you as a person, nothing else. We're- we're married, after all, so..."
He gives an abrupt, dry laugh.
"Ah, so I am to believe that you've been interrogating my allies out of some misguided affection, is that it?"
"Hubert, just listen to me!" for a moment, you feel bolstered, defiant, and you straighten your posture, "You won't tell me the first thing about you- the only way to learn so much as your favorite color is to ask someone who's known you for a decade!"
Briefly, he does seem to consider your words. But his eventual reply is as aloof as any prior,
"If you're no spy or politician, then you're worse- a fool." he says, and before you can respond, he's seized both of your wrists and pushed you back onto the bed. For a moment, the room spins and your voice leaves you. A shrewd eye watches you with cruel condescension as he pins you against the sheets.
"I should think that you'd be well aware what I'm capable of," he nearly whispers, "I personally ensured that the rumors spread through your father's territory and further still. Do you think that anyone would even dare lift a finger to help you if I chose to seek retribution for this recent behavior?" He draws nearer, his grip tighter at your wrists, "Perhaps as punishment, I'll simply take my pleasure from you by force."
Your lips tighten, you take a breath. Then, meeting his gaze directly, you reply,
"You won't."
His visible eye narrows.
"And what evidence do you have to prompt such unfounded confidence? Perhaps you have crafted a flattering falsehood of me in your mind," a mocking smirk curls his lips, "Am I a misunderstood sentimental sort to you, then? A sad, lonely man for you to save?"
You scowl, though you suspect it looks more like a pout to him.
"I don't know what I think of you yet- not completely. But I don't pity you like that, and I don't think you're sad or lonely. I know you're not."
For the first time, it seems that you've caught him off guard. That frigid mask falters for just a moment, and you go on before he can replace it,
"You're surrounded by people who care about you. I've seen it for myself. Whatever you've had to do in the service of your ideals- it hasn't kept the people around you from wanting to know and understand you, even if it's despite you."
Hubert is silent for a moment. His gaze bores into you like he thinks he'll discover some hidden layer if he can just keep digging. Then, he sighs,
"How did I ever become bound to such a troublesome spouse..."
When you wrest your arms from his grasp, his hands fall away with little resistance, and you think that perhaps he had never truly intended to keep you in place by force to begin with. He moves to leave the bed, but your fists find the front of his clothing and tug him back down to you.
You press your lips to his without hesitation, and you can feel him inhale sharply, his entire body rigid above you. His lips are surprisingly soft, his scent like coffee and old parchment, and though your heart threatens to burst from your chest, you hold firmly to him by his clothes. Near imperceptibly, he leans down against you, and your fear, along with any remaining doubts, begin to dissolve. Knowing he won't pull away, you let your hands relax against him, running up his chest where you can feel his own pulse pounding. It's so human, so entirely reasonable and normal. Now, at last, Hubert Von Vestra is merely a man of flesh and bone.
Your tongue meets his naturally, your lips parting in time with his as your kiss deepens to a fevered pace. One hand reaches that sharp, handsome jawline, reveling in the erotic sensation of his mouth moving against yours. And yet, all the while, his hands remain staunchly on the bed beside you. He doesn't touch you- doesn't even let his body meet yours.
It's impossible to tell whether passion or madness drives you to bring your teeth to his lower lip, a single insistent bite communicating desire mounting faster than you can contain. And for a moment, you sense something new; a sound catches in Hubert's throat, a reaction he fights to stifle. Then, he pulls away. His pale skin is tinted a rare shade of pink, and his hair is ruffled out of place enough to reveal both narrowed eyes. His cloak has spilled around his frame to surround you both, and somewhere in your frazzled mind, you imagine that you're caught in some beautiful, velvet-lined trap.
"I- must... return to my work." Hubert says stiffly. He pushes up from you and turns away, leaving you still flustered on the bed behind him. You sit upright, holding your arms tight around your body as you watch him straighten his hair and clothes.
"You, uhm..." your face reddens still as you search for the right words, "you could... join me in bed, if you liked."
Hubert turns to the door of his study, speaking without daring to even glance your way,
"Anything that you offer to me now will be born from the impulse to survive. I have been bargained with before." His shoulders slack just slightly, his voice low and sober, "The proudest nobleman will even sell off his own child to a monster if he feels it will spare him its teeth."
You open your mouth to protest, then shut it without a word. You feel that you know your mind and heart, even in this moment, but you lack the words to convince a man like this. In a feeble attempt, you murmur,
"You don't frighten me, Hubert. Not anymore."
He half turns toward you, though his hand remains on the handle of his study door.
"You yourself said that you do not know what you think of me," he says, "As such, I will not lay a hand on you until the day that you do."
You stare down at your hands in your lap, barely registering the sound of the door clicking shut as he leaves you in the bedroom. No matter how you try to sort out your tangled thoughts, the memory of his lips on yours won't leave them. If anything, it eclipses any sense of reason, standing resolutely in the way of your path to clarity. Letting out a groaning sigh, you fall onto your back on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling as if it could offer you any advice.
What do I think about my own husband? You wonder, the thought nearly enough to make you laugh. Well for one, he's a pain.
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seriouslysnape · 3 years
Text
Moonlight Dip
Neville Longbottom x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Fluff, Sexual content (super brief).
Word Count: 2,588
“We’re going swimming.”
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Hogwarts was always desolate and quiet at this time of night. The only person who was supposed to be stirring was Filch, Mrs. Norris, and possibly Professor Snape keeping an eye out for any students who had grown bold enough to break curfew. Most students didn’t bother trying to sneak around the castle at night. Not because they were afraid of getting caught, but because if they DID get caught, they’d have to deal with Filch’s overly strict behavior. Honestly, that was a punishment in and of itself. 
Which was why Neville just couldn’t seem to figure out why you were leading him through the dark corridors, moving like a woman on a mission. You had crept into his dorm around midnight or so, pouncing on his bed and shaking him from his gentle slumber. You barely waited for him to wake up before you were whisper-shouting at him that you had somewhere for the two of you to go. He never minded a surprise visit from you, but he also wasn’t very keen on attempting to slip out undetected. Still, his curiosity won out.
“Hey, uh, flower?” He whispered, not knowing where Filch might’ve been.
“Yes, Neville?” You whispered back, peering your head around the corner to check for anyone coming. 
“Where are we going exactly? And why are you in your robes?” He questioned, feeling a bubble of nervousness in his chest.
Truth be told, Neville felt a little underdressed. He was clad in his pajamas bottoms and an old t-shirt that he only used to sleep in. You looked back at him with a smile, his heart leaping at how beautiful you looked under the illumination of the Lumos you had uttered from your wand. Neville had learned to be more spontaneous after he had begun dating you. You were as sweet and respectful as anyone, but you definitely had a wild side that sometimes shaved some years off of Neville’s life. He wasn’t sure what to think of it at first, but over time he found that he loved all of your silly shenanigans. Even the ones that had gotten you both in hot water before. 
“I told you, Nev. It’s a surprise!” You answered, squeezing his hand that was interlaced in yours, “It won’t be a surprise anymore if I tell you.”
Neville made a puzzled, yet thoughtful look as he racked his brain of possible ideas. He thought that maybe that you were daring to venture to Hogsmeade for a late night snack. Every now and again, you’d convince Neville to help you with sneaking into Honeydukes after hours to snag a few treats (don’t worry, you always left the right amount of money on the counter to pay for it). 
However, his theory was proven wrong when he realized that you were taking him past the courtyard and in the general direction of the Quidditch field. He was glad that it was well into spring now, and the nights were warm with the days. You didn’t play Quidditch though, and neither did he. So he couldn’t fathom why you were headed that way.
“The Quidditch fields are always dark this time of night. There’s no way we’ll be able to see.” Neville pointed out, mumbling under his breath when he almost tripped on a loose rock. 
You turned to look at him again, another smile plastering on your face. 
“Then it’s a good thing that we aren’t going there.” You replied.
Sure enough, you kept walking towards your desired locating, keeping your antsy boyfriend in tow. About the time that Neville had given up on trying to figure out where you were taking him, his question was answered. The lake was always so pretty at night, and tonight was no exception. The moon was only a phase away from being full, but still offering enough light to where the two of you could somewhat see. The reflection bounced beautifully off of the dark lake, creating glittering ripples in the water when it was agitated from it’s still position.
You let go of Neville’s hand once you were standing on the bank, crouching down to untie your shoelaces. Neville stood still, his arms at his side rather awkwardly. He wasn’t picking up on your plan just yet.
“I didn’t know that you like to fish.” Neville said aloud, not bothering to whisper anymore since there was no chance that anyone would be out here.
“I don’t.” You giggled, removing your shoes and socks.
Neville’s eyebrows raised, still oblivious even as your fingertips worked at untying the cord around your robes. Well, he WAS oblivious, until it was literally right in front of his face.
“Then why are we- oh my God, what are you doing?” He cut himself off when your robes fell to the grass, revealing your bra and knickers underneath.
Neville was glad that it was mainly dark outside, because his sudden deep blush would’ve been painfully obvious otherwise. You smirked at the bashful boy who was frozen in place, unsure of what he was supposed to do.
“We’re going swimming.” You announced, reaching for his hand again. 
Except he didn’t take your hand. He wasn’t on board with this idea at all.
“Oh no. No, no, no. I draw the line at swimming naked!” He rattled off, taking a step away from you.
You weren’t offended in the slightest, and you were even rather amused at his skittish behavior. This was nothing new to you.
“I’m technically not naked.” You reminded him calmly.
“You’re in your knickers!” He hissed back, his eyes widening as he actually took a second to look at the lacy material.
“Exactly. Which equals not naked.” You returned, fighting the urge to burst into laughter.
“Nope!” He protested, sitting down on the grass instead, “I’ve defended us for getting caught sneaking off for Chocolate Frogs and breaking into the library at 3 o’clock in the morning. But I will not try to explain why we were in the lake naked.” 
Neville seemed adamant about staying put where he was. He was tempted to get up and leave, but there was no shot in hell that he was going to leave you out here by yourself. He was perfectly fine with sitting off to the side and observing from a safe distance.
“You see me in my underwear all the time, Nevy,” You said, not really believing that the lack of clothes was what he was timid about, “Is it the ‘nakedness’ or the critters that sometimes live in the lake?”
Neville was frightened of a lot of things, and while he tended to love animals, aquatic animals were an exception. Fish and water-based bugs freaked him out for some reason that even you didn’t quite understand. The only animals that lived in and around water that he liked were frogs and toads. The only aspect of the lake that he might enjoy (aside from seeing you wet and half-naked) were the plants that were undoubtedly growing below the surface.
“Maybe both...” He murmured, resting his forearms on top of his knees that were pulled into his chest, “Regardless, I’m staying right here.”
You shrugged your shoulders, believing your intuition that said that he’d be in the water with you in less than fifteen minutes.
“Suit yourself.” You told him before making a graceful entrance splash into the water.
He watched as you plunged in, your entire frame disappearing under the water that looked black due to the inky color of the sky. Neville felt his nerves get fired up when you went under, a slight anxiety in his gut that you might not come back up. The lake wasn’t super deep by any means, only coming up to just below your hip. Neville knew that it was possible to drown in any depth of water, which was why he became a bit on edge.
Thankfully, though, you emerged from below the water before he could get too worked up. He watched with interest when your hands swept your wet hair backwards, slicking it on your head. 
Neville had always found you pretty. He thought you were the most beautiful girl on the planet. While he always thought that you looked stunning, there were still times where it was much more clear to him. For instance, early in the morning when you’ve just woken up is one of his favorites. Or right before a Gryffindor party on Friday nights when you’ve taken extra time to get spiffied up. Seeing you always made his heart beat with a little more purpose. It reminded him of how much he cared for and loved you. 
And this moment now really had him swooning.
His eyes studied as water droplets dripped from your frame, soaking into your underwear and gliding down your beautiful skin. It created a shiny gleam over you, bringing out all of his favorite parts of you. He must’ve fallen into a lusty daze, because he felt himself snap back into reality when you called to him.
“You sure you don’t want to get in?” You spoke, letting your fingertips trail over the surface of the lake.
Neville shook his head in response. 
“I’m good here, tulip. Promise.” He said, still not sure if this was something he wanted to do. 
You never pressured Neville into doing things he didn’t want to do. You never wanted him to be uncomfortable around you or associate discomfort with spending time with you. However, you knew that Neville was a worrier. He was an avid overthinker and sometimes just let his nerves get the best of him. You encouraged him to live a little more, without thinking about every single possible outcome of a situation. It’s great to be cautious and aware, but life without taking some risks could be...boring. You just didn’t want Neville to grow old with you and wish he hadn’t let his head get the best of him.
You swam out towards the middle of the lake, but not so far that you couldn’t see or hear Neville. You floated on your back and played with things that you found on the mushy, sandy floor of the lake. Neville maintained a conversation with you, but found himself feeling tempted to join you. It was just swimming. It wasn’t like the two of you were trying to blow up the lake or anything. 
“How does...how does it feel?” Neville asked, stifling a giggle at how you were bouncing on your feet with your head lolled to the side to get water out of your ear.
“It’s nice. It’s not warm by any means, but it feels good.” You told him, wringing the excess water from your hair, “Changed your mind?”
Neville chewed the inside of his cheek, but he was warming up to the idea.
“I don’t even have a pair of swim trunks with me.” He argued.
You motioned towards your own body with a look of hilarity.
“Oh, and I’m wearing my swimsuit? It doesn’t matter, love. Just take off what you have on.” You instructed, getting hopeful that he was actually going to do it.
Neville stood from where he sat, stripping down to his boxers at a snail’s pace. He folded his clothes neatly, setting them next to your robes that he had also folded previously. He dipped his foot into the water, expecting it to be much colder than it actually was. It was a lukewarm temperature, something that would be refreshing on a hot summer day, but far too freezing for a frigid winter day. For his moderate spring night, it was perfect.
Neville didn’t love how the bottom of the lake felt on his feet. It was a mix of a squishy, gelatinous feeling. You reached for his hands excitedly, taking them as he waded out to where you were standing.
“So, what do you think?” You wondered, careful not to freak him out too much,
“It feels...nice. I don’t think I’ve ever been in this lake,” He admitted, “How did you even come up with this?”
“Well, you told me once that your Gran used to have a little pond behind her house that you liked to swim in during the summer. You said you enjoyed it and I thought maybe this would be something you’d like too,” You explained to him, suddenly feeling insecure about this whole thing, “I know it’s probably not the same or as fun.”
Now things really started to make sense. Neville felt the cage of butterflies flutter all into his belly whenever you did something sweet for him. Especially when it was something with sentimental value. 
Neville had undeniably fallen in love with you. Not because of your witty personality or the random adventures you liked to take him on. Those things were plenty great, and he cherished those things with everything he had. But that wasn’t what made him decide that you were his future. 
It was the pureness of your heart.
He fell for you more and more each time you did something for him. Whether it was as small as you combing your fingers through his hair when he was asleep on your chest in the common room, or as big as the time you devised a plan to throw a surprise birthday party for him at his Gran’s house. No matter what it was, you never hesitated to spend your energy, time, and love on making him happy.
“I did always like that pond, flower. But...you want to know something?” He said smoothly, with just the faintest hint of shakiness in his tone, “This is a lot better.”
He pulled you in close at the sight of your brightening eyes, bringing you down with him as he sank down to his knees under the top of the water.
“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?” You pressed on.
“Because you’re here.” He mewled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 
His descent of kisses trailed down to your nose, to your cheeks, to your lips. His kisses were never rushed in moments like this. They weren’t ever in a rush to get to the point or so rough that he didn’t have a chance to feel it. He liked to take his time with you. He liked to savor you.
“I love you, Nev. I really do.” You professed once he pulled away from you.
“I love you, petal,” He returned, going to kiss you again, but stopped when he took a big swash of lake water to the face.
He let out a startled gasp at how he was totally soaked now. It dripped from his hair, droplets rolling to the tip of his nose before falling off back into the lake. He caught your mischievous expression, your cheeks puffed out as you fought your laughter.
“Really funny, doll.” He sputtered, nonchalantly reaching around to your back and unclasping your bra with one hand. He managed to whip it off of you with ease, leaving you completely naked on top.
“Neville!” You squealed, “Give it back! That’s my favorite one!” 
Neville teased you as he held your bra high in the air above his head, chuckling as you struggled (and failed) to get it back.
“Don’t worry, love bug. I’ll take good care of it. But if you want it...” Neville paused, shimmying past you and waddling further out into the lake with a sneaky, yet innocent sneer on his face;
“You’ve got to come and get it.”
*****
Tags: @lupinsslut @writingscape @msmimimerton​ @thefilmcity​
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dameronology · 3 years
Text
it's no use, i just do {bucky barnes}
'if i just wanted someone to hold, then really anyone would do/i'd close my eyes and really try not to turn them into you, but it's no use, i just love you' - no use i just do, hayley williams
(a.k.a: the one where bucky needs a hug, but specifically from you)
eugh more bucky stuff from my drafts? yes. i think so. truth be told, I started writing this like 3 months ago (whenever flowers for vases came out) but it's been sat collecting dust. enjoy :-)
- jazz xx
p.s this is spoiler free!
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The nights were always hardest for Bucky Barnes.
The dark always reminded him of the furthest corners of his mind; the ones holding his worst memories, skeletons collecting dust, rotting away until he forgot about them completely or forced them out with intensive therapy. Both were options that he was completely dreading - so he forced them down, forced them to the back and did everything within his power to ignore. It was easy enough during the day, when he was surrounded by his friends, occupied by work and the buzz of New York City.
Then the sun went away, and with the rising of the moon came the echoes and ghosts of Winter Soldier's past. Thanks to the likes of Netflix and YouTube, the modern world was filled with enough things to distract Bucky from the grips of his own mind. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.
And tonight was one of the nights where it didn't. Every time he shut his eyes - squeezed them shut and gripped onto his thin blankets like a flimsy anchor to the present - he got flashbacks. Reminders of the things he'd done and the people he'd hurt. They always had the same look in their eyes, whenever they flashed into his mind. He couldn't see it then, but now he could feel again, he knew it was fear. The same look he had in his eyes every time he was clamped into a chair and forced to have the last remaining ounce of his humanity wiped.
Bucky's hold-ups about his feelings for you seemed almost comical compared to the problems he dealt with then. But he could feel more now, which meant his brain was so hyperaware of every little thing he felt for you; love, attachment, fear. All things that were enough to send him into a spiral, even if the feeling of your arms around him and lips meshed against his was the first reminder of his humanity since nineteen-forty-fucking-five.
Distance had felt like the answer. Cutting you out completely and acting like he hadn't fallen into your bed every night for six months seeking comfort. It was kind of a dick move, but it was one you understood. Actually, no, it wasn't, because you didn't understand a single thing the man ever fucking did. That's probably why you'd let him go so easily - people came and went. Maybe he was just supposed to be the latter.
How was it going, you ask? Given that Bucky had elbowed his way into your apartment complex at 3AM and was pacing outside your front door - pretty fucking terribly. Normally, he wasn't that bad at resisting the urge to seek you out, but tonight had been hard. Too hard. His hands were still shaking, shirt still sticking to his back with sweat. The nightmares had been...visual, to say the least. He felt like a monster, and you were the only person he trusted enough to convince him otherwise.
"Hey, dumbass. I have a Ring doorbell - what the fuck are you doing out there?"
Bucky jumped at the sound of your voice. Technology: 1. Barnes: 0.
The front door swung open, revealing a tired-looking you. Your hair was pushed back off your face, large nightshirt swamping your body. He knew you got mad when your beauty sleep was interrupted, but you got even madder when he suffered in silence.
"I..." Bucky trailed off.
"Nightmares. I know." You stepped aside. "Come in."
You didn't push any further, or berate him for his radio silence over the last few weeks. He was grateful for that. You were the only person who didn't ask so many questions all the time. Bucky didn't mind talking, but recounting his entire life story to Sam Wilson whilst they drove to Walmart wasn't his idea of fun.
Your apartment still felt homier than his. The walls were covered in photos of you and your friends and family, and shitty little drawings done by your various, younger relatives. Your fridge had postcards and letters hung on it, and there was clutter all over the kitchen counter. The thousands of pillows piled high on your sofa were practically a safe haven. There was a soft scent of vanilla hanging in the air from all your little diffusers, making him smile slightly.
"You got new curtains?" Bucky helplessly pointed to your window.
"How very observant of you." You placed a hand on his arm as you brushed past him. "What's going on, Buck?"
"With my life, or just tonight?"
"I don't think we have time for the first one." You fell onto the sofa. "Sit."
He took a seat beside you; not on you, but close enough so that your knees were touching. "Every time I close my eyes, I remember."
"That wasn't you." You gently reminded him, reaching out to push his hair back. "Not then and not now."
"I still did it though." He held his hands out in front of him. "These are the hands that killed innocent people. This is the brain that felt no empathy or remorse."
"No." You firmly said. "Those are the hands that fought in Wakanda, for the good fight. This is the brain that comes up with the worst jokes I've ever heard and regularly forgets to buy toilet roll."
His blue eyes wavered from the floor, capturing your gaze. He suddenly fell back against you, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his head in your chest. Everybody else went out their way to make him seem like a monster or a saint - but you? You just made him seem like a human. There wasn't a single perfect one of those. Steve Rogers probably came close, but he was a fucking terrible driver.
"I..." Bucky trailed off. He knew what he wanted to say. Just didn't have the courage to verbalise it. "I appreciate you."
"I know." You murmured, carding a hand through his hair.
Bucky had gone to therapy. He'd taken up exercise (and boxercise and jazzercise) and yoga. He'd tried those stupid fucking cleansing smoothies that his neighbour had sold him - at the time, he had yet been introduced to the idea of multilevel marketing schemes - and gone to meditation classes. None of it worked. Not for a single second.
Then you came in the picture, and he began to see colour etched into the edges of an otherwise black and white world. Where there had been nightmares and flashbacks, he'd found a peaceful night's sleep and pleasant dreams (normally of you, truth be told). The simplicity of it was what made it so complex - because he didn't understand it. Couldn't get his head around the fact that you actually, genuinely wanted to help him.
And he knew it wasn't just your touch or the softness of your skin against his. He'd tried it - sleeping with strangers and staying around the morning after to cuddle. Anything to find human contact with the emotion and the commitment; the very two components that were the secret ingredients to the two of you working so fucking nicely.
"Thank you." Bucky murmured.
"For what?"
"For just..." He glanced up at you, blue eyes holding an emotion you couldn't quite place, "treating me like everyone else. Like a normal person."
"You are a normal person." You softly smiled. "Maybe with a little more baggage, but to the right person, that won't matter."
"Does it matter to you?"
"That's a trap." You thinned your eyes at him. "But no, it doesn't."
He tightened his grip on you, the fear and anxiety draining from his soul. He knew now more than ever that the comfort didn't come from the way he was being held, or the way he was being spoken to. It was who was holding him, and who was speaking to him. You came out on top, every time.
That was why it worked.
It was you. And there was nothing he could do about it.
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yesimwriting · 3 years
Text
Crossing lines
General Kirigan/the darkling x reader
Summary: This was requested by my friend @vvsdiamond28 who also writes and has a really good kirigan x reader story up right now! The request was basically for a fic in which the reader is out wandering at night and runs into kirigan while he’s in the banya and then they get to talking and some other stuff before he admits to only trusting the reader and giving her his real name. This gets kinda steamy bc of the request and bc the story called for it lol but it’s not full smut bc i decided that it would be better to do that as a part 2 so that i could add some jealousy tension haha
a/n i think im back?? Ive been working on requests a lot and ive really enjoyed writing regularly again. A small side note, after rewatching revenge of the sith im kinda in the mood to try writing an anakin fic 😭 pls he was my OG fictional crush,, so either send help or a request for him or something, Anyways,, back to this fic--ahh i had fun writing it but i still feel awkward writing steamier stuff so be nice!! 
-- 
Those that wander in the night, lost in uneasy thought--there’s probably a lot that can be said about them. But I can’t think of anything to be said about me. Nothing good comes from walking around a place full of powerful and tense people in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t take much effort to interpret my actions as suspicious, and yet I continue forward. I’m an idiot--just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean I have to wander around campgrounds. My presence is barely tolerated here, I shouldn’t try backstroking in waters I can barely tread. 
But still, I walk, eyes more fixated on the open night sky than anything else. The moon is as full as an overflowing glass, the stars twinkling as if desperate to compete with a light it will never be able to duplicate. I sigh, pressing my lips together. Maybe the stars and I have more in common than I thought. Normally, that would be a good thing. 
Letting out a weary breath, I continue forward, away from the relative safety of the main tents. I’m still on the grounds, I’m approaching the border where the tents of higher ranking officials are. That should make me more nervous, but if anything it almost eases me slightly. 
General Kirigan is not the type to be friendly, and yet our interactions have always been laced with a touch of intimacy I can’t quite explain. We’ve been alone together more and more frequently, and I think that’s how I like him best. It’s strange, but when we’re alone some of his sharpness dulls, leaving space for something I might consider humor or actual personality on anyone else. He probably speaks to many girls like that when they’re alone together--a fact I have to fight to remind myself of--but it’s the closest thing to friendship I have here. Maybe it’s foolish to hold onto that, but I can’t bring myself to release my grip on those sentiments. At least not yet, when the kind moments are still rare and fleeting and no line has been crossed. 
The danger, however, comes from the prospect of not recognizing lines before they’re crossed. Even now, as I walk aimlessly in the night, pacing in hopes of exhausting my thoughts, I’m crossing lines in a much more literal way and even these are ill defined. I must be in new territory now, and even that I can only vaguely recognize because of the strangely humid scent that surrounds this area of the grounds. 
I’m near the banya. I didn’t intend to wander here, but the thought of splashing water on my face is too tempting to pass up on. I move closer, finding a sense of peace in having some direction, even in a small way. 
When the promise of water is only steps away, I begin to regret everything. There’s a figure in the bath. I freeze, ready to attempt to shrink away in hopes of disappearing before I’m caught. This could easily turn extremely awkward even though I technically haven’t done anything. Most people don’t bathe at this hour. Who bathes this late at night? 
I keep my eyes on the individual, trying to make out who they are and how aware they are of their surroundings in the dim light. Pale skin, dark hair--unbelievably attractive torso. My eyes linger there longer than they should. I force my gaze upwards, towards their face as if that can erase my ogling. Embarrassment leaves my face burning--I’m not the ‘ogling’ type, and this person doesn’t even know I’m here. I keep my eyes on them as I step back, taking in unaware features as best I can in the dark. 
I know them--I--Saints, it’s Kirigan. 
Fantastic. Of course he has to be even more impossibly attractive while shirtless and wet. I turn my head upwards sharply, more desperate to not be caught than ever. I would never, ever recover from being caught. Whether he’d tease me or be angry with me, I don’t know. I also don’t know which option I’d prefer. 
I step back again, my gait wider due to my urgency. Snap. The sound of both a twig and my chance of a stealthy escape being shattered. I cringe, craning my neck to the left in a desperate attempt to make it clear that I wasn’t watching him. I take another desperate step, ready to duck behind a nearby tree. Maybe he hasn’t seen me--maybe he’s distracted and assumed that some kind of rabbit or something passed by. He may not actively dislike me, but I’m not sure any semblance of favor he may have for me extends to this situation.
���Y/n.” His tone reveals nothing but his level of certainty. Ignoring him will only make me seem guilty. 
I pause, keeping my gaze off of him. “Yes.” It wasn’t really a question, and yet I still answer it like one. “I was--I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get some air, and I was walking kind of aimlessly and I ended up here and I didn’t think anyone would be here.” Why do I feel like I’m making this situation worse? “I’m sorry--I’m gonna--I’m going to go now.” This is the kind of embarrassing moment that will come back to me when I’m trying to fall asleep at night. I know it.
“You know the polite thing to do after intruding is to make eye contact.” 
I don’t think my face has ever felt this warm before. At least he doesn’t sound angry, but his voice doesn’t reveal that much. I raise my gaze carefully, turning my head slowly. “I didn’t mean,” I exhale slowly, “It wasn’t my intention to intrude.” 
He straightens slightly at my words, exposing more of his chest. I stay still, eyes trained on his to avoid an accidental lapse. “You could make it up to me by offering conversation.” Kirigan’s tone is deliberate, his words measured and calm. I don’t speak, feeling like I’m being presented a test I don’t understand, but most of our conversations leave me feeling like that. “Only if you’re comfortable.” 
And just like that, I’m backed into a corner. A challenge. To deny him now would be to expose the effect he has on me. My chin raises a fraction of an inch as I take in that assured half-smirk. “Why wouldn’t I be comfortable?” 
Kirigan arches a dark brow, assessing my response. “Then sit,” his voice has not changed, “You want air and I want company.” 
I don’t think anyone that looks as good as he does shirtless has ever had trouble finding company, especially with the smooth way he speaks. Despite this, I step forward to accept his challenge without calling him out on his coyness. Each step is the crossing of another invisible line until I’m near the water’s edge. I make sure to keep my nightgown at a respectable length as I sit down. 
I make a point of extending my legs towards the water while leaning back so that I can’t be easily accused of being a coward. “I feel the need to warn you that I might not make particularly interesting company.”
He angles his head to the side slightly, drawing attention to his jawline and neck. I force my stare to focus on the water. “I’ve never found you uninteresting.” 
There’s something resigned in the way he says this. On instinct, I look up, taking in the slight softening of his features. The release of his usual sternness only adds to his beauty, a fact that I’m already resenting. 
“You may be the only one.” It’s not meant to be a deprecating comment, but I’m not sure my partial laugh softens my bitterness. I hope it does--I’d rather his interest than the interest of my entire unit. 
Kirigan shifts forward, the water moving with him. “Do you think that any coldness you’re experiencing has to do with you?” 
The question has me drawing my eyebrows together. What else could it be? I shrug, “I’ve considered it.” 
He nods once, eyes hardening slightly. “Do you always have trouble sleeping?” 
The personalness of the question shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does. Kirigan seems to only understand boundaries when he’s the one setting them. “Not really.” A partial lie--this time I’m glad I can’t quite bring myself to look at him. “It’s not uncommon for me, but it’s not something I deal with every night.” 
I risk shifting my eyeline when I hear the sound of water moving. Kirigan’s now resting an arm on the rim of the pool, wet skin dangerously close to my ankle and lower calf. “It’s not always easy,” his voice is low now, “Being alone with your thoughts.” 
That’s not the kind of reply I’d expect from him. I blink twice before turning to study his expression. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him seem so tired--so weary and human and in need of something. The line between his eyebrows and the far off quality of his eyes leave me with the strong desire to give whatever it is he needs to him. The urge to reach out, to touch him in hopes of breaking him free from his odd trance leaves my stomach knotted. That line is too clear to cross so recklessly.
I need to chase away the serious atmosphere he’s created. “Is that why you bathe so late at night?” I let myself smile, “To avoid thoughts?” 
“I like the peace of it.” Something akin to amusement touches his words. “And for the record, little dove,” the nickname is pointed and earns him an eyeroll, “The warm water doesn’t exactly chase away thoughts so much as encourages others.” He pauses. “You understand, considering you can barely look at me.”
This is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened. The suggestive jilt to his words has to be intentional. Damn him. I turn my head, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I can look at you just fine.” 
“And if I were a Heartrender and could hear your heartbeat your pulse would be normal?” The question is teasing, a small smile pulling at his lips. 
The warmth in my face increases, spreading down my neck. Kirigan’s expression remains smug. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.” 
“No?” He leans forward, angling his head so close to me I can faintly feel the warmth of his breath on my lower calf. “I find myself amusing.” 
At least being around him like this is getting easier. I open my mouth, ready to provide some sarcastic comment I haven’t thought out yet. My mouth clamps shut on instinct when I feel his touch on my ankle. The faint contact quickly grows, his fingers brushing up my ankle and calf, leaving drops of cool water across my skin.
“What are you doing?” That’s a--a fair question, right? I’m not sure, rational thought slipping from me more and more with each passing second. 
“Nothing, really,” his reply is quick. “Nervous?” 
There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I roll my eyes, fighting against my instinctual fluster. “No,” a full lie, “You’re just getting me wet.” 
“Barely.” When he’s not busy being brooding he’s not much better than an irritating child. He retracts his hand slowly, fingers grazing my skin slowly as he submerges his hand beneath the water. The loss of contact should feel like a victory. It doesn’t. “Y/n,” he shifts closer, back straightening.
There’s an odd seriousness to his demeanor that almost leaves me reeling. “Yes?” 
He beckons me forward. I hesitate, but comply, letting myself shift closer to the water’s edge. Kirgan’s lips part, but no words leave him before he moves his arm, purposefully splashing water over my thighs and bottom of my nightgown. I let out an instinctively annoyed sound. “That is getting you wet.” 
“Kirigan!” My tone is as menacing as I can make it, but he continues to grin. There’s such a lightness to the look I almost forget to be annoyed. Almost. “I should tell the entire Second Army how much of a child you are.” 
My threat does nothing, his smile softening without fading. “They fear me too much for your stories to make a difference.” He says this flatly. “All of them except you.” 
I don’t know if I’m supposed to make something of that comment. A brief moment passes in which I think his eyes come close to softening. Maybe that’s a side effect of seeing the world as you want. Wait...what do I want? Him? No, no, I can’t. 
Okay, he’s objectively attractive and sometimes I think I may see more depth in him than he wants to be capable of. But that doesn’t mean I’m allowed to want anything with him. Even if he was trustworthy enough for me to be with him in any capacity...even casually, it could never happen. Nothing good could come from having relations with the highest ranked general and I doubt he’d ever want me like that. He likes to fluster people and I’m an easy target. I just accept it because being some level of entertainment to him is better than being nothing to everyone. 
“I don’t think there’s much point in fear.” It feels like a fair answer. The fairest answer I can manage, anyways. 
He sighs, the sound heavy. His hand stretches forward cautiously. I watch him and make no attempt to stop him from touching my lower calf. His fingers trace absentmindedly across the skin. “Of course you’d think that.” 
Again, I don’t know what to make of his words. Or his actions. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me just slightly adjusting my position. It’d be a polite way to remind us both of the natural order of things. But then again, someone like him is allowed to be mad about anything. And I’m not sure I want to remind us of our place. 
Actually, I’m completely sure that I want the opposite of that. But admitting that to myself is enough of a risk. I’ve already crossed thousands of tiny lines and what I want will require us to cross a thousand more. 
“I’m a little surprised you’re not reminding me how foolish a notion like that can be.” 
He lets out a tiny breath as he shifts even closer to me. “Maybe I’m enjoying your foolishness.” 
“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or the opposite.” 
The slightest hint of a smile is visible to me beneath the moon’s glow. There’s something about darkness that adds beauty to things. I wait for him to reply, but instead of speaking his  hand moves further up my leg. I struggle to hide my reaction to his long fingers trailing up my skin.
He’s touched me before, sure. Tiny moments in which he’d push a strand of hair out of my face or wipe at a bit of dirt on my cheekbone. More recently, he had gripped my hip firmly to guide me through a crowd of soldiers. He had been in a hurry, stealing me from a conversation with the only member of my unit that’s been somewhat friendly to me. It wasn’t serious--he had just been rushing me because he only had a minute between meetings and apparently he had too long of a day to not take a moment to speak with me. 
“Are you alright, Dovey?” Normally, the nickname and all of its variations earns him an eyeroll. But everything is a lot less humorous with his hand half up my lower leg, leaving a trail of cool water wherever he touches. 
His fingers press more firmly into my skin. “Yes, I’m fine--it’s just late.” 
“Hm…” Kirigan breathes before tilting his head slightly. “You’re warm.” I stay silent as his hand shifts slightly. “Perhaps too warm.” 
If I’m hot that has absolutely nothing to do with fever. “I’m fine, General, I promise.” 
“Come closer,” he says, “It’ll take me no time to check.” 
...A little too convenient. My nightgown is still embarrassingly damp from the last time I eased tonight. “Please tell me you don’t find me that naive.” 
“Naive? No.” He lifts his hand slightly. “Warm? Yes.” I still don’t trust him. “I’m not going to do anything. I promise.” 
His eyes are dark and the limited lighting of the moon doesn’t offer me much in my analysis, but what I can see makes him seem genuine. “Why do I feel like that’s not the first time you’ve had to say that?” Despite my comment, I move towards him. 
The back of Kirigan’s palm is pressed to my forehead for less than a second. He brushes his hand down the side of my temple, rotating his wrist so that his fingertips can touch my cheek. His hand then continues to move down my jawline and then my neck...and then finally trails down my collarbone. I bite my tongue to avoid exhaling audibly at the contact. 
“Warm,” he concludes with a tsk, and yet he doesn’t withdraw his hand. “Though that could just have to do with the climate.” His thumb slips beneath the sleeve of my nightgown. “Perhaps you could benefit from joining me.” 
I bite my tongue to avoid letting out a surprised, embarrassingly enthusiastic squeak. I don’t know what’s gotten into him...maybe it’s the night air and the prospect of being fully alone. I should be strong enough to break whatever spell he’s starting to place on me. But I’m not. I’m really, really not. 
He pulls on the sleeve of my nightgown slightly. “I’m…” 
“Unless you’re nervous?” Another damn challenge. To shy away from this would be to expose myself. He tugs on the sleeve a little more assuredly, exposing my shoulder to the humid night. “Do I make you nervous?” 
His voice comes out a shallow rasp. I feel it straight in my core. “...Not more than you should.” 
“More than I should?” 
Ugh--too honest. I let myself get distracted. It shouldn’t be too difficult to explain what I meant. He knows he’s feared. He wants to be feared. “I’m sure we’re both aware that there are a fair amount of cautionary tales revolving around you.” 
His hand falls next to my lap. Oh? I didn’t expect to miss the contact between us so much. His expression seems to have fallen slightly as well. Was it my response to his question? It felt fair and straightforward without being too blunt. “And you believe every cautionary tale you hear?” 
There’s something stiff about the way he asks the question. His moodiness is making me miss his touchiness even more. At least then I didn’t have to feel like I made a mistake. Did I say something wrong? “Should I?”
“It depends on whether or not you plan on being brave.” 
“I told you...I don’t see much point in fear.” 
“And yet you’re still there.” A bit of humor returns to his voice. “Why is that?” 
Rolling my eyes, I shift forward, letting my legs dip into the water. This is as far as I should let this go. I’ve already lost too much more control. “Better?” He’s strangely tense again, a hint of something bitter playing at the smug look he tries for. “You alright?”
“Of course you’d ask me that.” He says this with a tired sigh. “You can never make things easy.” 
“I don’t understand.” 
He shifts backwards slightly. I can feel the distance between us like I’d feel a pebble in my shoe. “Do you believe all the stories about me?” 
Is he still bothered by that? “I didn’t mean it as literally as you’re taking it. All I meant is that people are intimidated by you, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s the way things have to be, you’re the only Shadow Summoner in existence and the army needs you to be intimidating so that they can act on your guidance.”
“The way things have to be,” he echoes, his voice strangely weighted. “There’s a specific kind of loneliness that comes with being feared by everyone.” 
Oh--I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him feel defeated like that. I reach for his hand without thinking, pulling his fingers towards my lap. “I don’t--I’m not scared of you.” It’s a weak attempt to comfort him, but it’s the only one I can think of. “That probably doesn’t mean anything, but I--” 
His hand turns in my lap, squeezing the exposed part of my thigh. “It means something.” Kirigan’s voice has hardened in a different way. “You’re the only person I’m certain of.” 
Everything in me seems to tighten at that. At the implication of something so personal from someone so closed off. “Kirigan, you don’t have to be as alone as you feel. You talk to me all the time and you do so in a way that makes it easy to forget the cautionary tales.” His hand moves further up my thigh. I fight as I try to remember our usual dynamic. “You’re the only one that talks to me like that.” 
“Have you ever considered that maybe the others refuse to take to you because of the favor I’ve shown you? The instinct to stay away from me is strong enough to extend to those around me.” Kirigan’s hand moves higher up my thigh. “To be near me is to involve solitude.” 
“I don’t care.” The answer leaves me too quickly. “Being near you is worth it.” 
He leans closer before resting his chin on my knee with no hesitation. “Careful, you don’t understand the line you tread.” Kirigan places his hand more firmly between my thighs. “Or perhaps you do...perhaps you know what you want to cross.” 
This time I can’t help the airy sigh that leaves me. Kirigan pushes against my thigh slightly, separating my legs. I feel his breath on my inner thigh before I know what’s going on. I can’t move, I can’t think, I can’t even breathe. That inability to do anything but feel my heart pound against my chest only worsens as I feel his lips press into the inside of my thigh. His lips trail up my skin before his teeth gently sink into the top of my thigh. 
“Is the line you want to cross?” He breathes the question so softly I feel like I’m being coddled. Everything in me feels too hot to think of any kind of coherent response. Kirigan uses his free hand to pull the fabric of my nightgown as high up my thighs as he can from his position below me. “Or maybe this is the line you want to cross?” Kirigan pulls me forward so suddenly I let out a tiny gasp. I’m not fully on the edge of the banya. “Or perhaps this one?” He kisses the skin of my inner thigh gently. Each time I exhale too loudly, his teeth graze my skin. He gets harsher with each passing second. “Lay down.” 
My body listens to him on instinct. How is this happening? How am I this powerless to fight against something that’s so clearly wrong? The sound of water shifting causes my entire body to tense. He’s pulled himself out of the water. Kirigan moves above me instantly, water dripping from his toned chest and dark hair and onto my still damp nightgown. 
Before I can speak, he’s on me completely, his lips pressing against my jaw. He kisses down my neck, his teeth grazing against my skin sporadically. He pulls away from me by tracing his tongue across my collar bone. I let out something dangerously close to a moan. “Such pretty, little sounds.” 
“Kirigan--” 
“The only name I want you to hear from your lips is the only name that I’ve not given myself. The only name that holds meaning to me.” 
His lips graze where my skin meets the hem of my now soaked through nightgown. I’m not sure the poor lighting is offering me enough coverage now. There’s no way the thin fabric leaves much to the imagination while being this wet. He kisses up my chest and neck until his lips reach the shell of my ear. 
“Aleksander.” The name is grace in the form of a breath so soft it’s more like I’m feeling the name than actually hearing it. 
He presses his lips against the spot on my neck directly beneath my ear. I exhale into the contact. “Aleksander.” As I test his true name on my tongue, his teeth dig into my skin much more harshly than before. 
I let out a partial squeak at the sudden shift in pace as his hands grip my waist. “Say it again. Say my name again.”
He traces his tongue gingerly over the skin he just aggravated with his teeth before I can speak. The soothing sensation is so much I can barely find my voice. “Aleksander.” 
His hand bunches the bottom of my nightgown, raising the fabric to my hips. “...Say it just like that.” Kirgan’s rough hand slips between the bone of my hip and the fabric of my hip. “Like I’m the only one that knows you like this.”
“Aleksander.” I breathe as he traces invisible patterns into my skin with his lips. “Aleksander.” Each use of his name earns me extra attention--a stronger hold on my hip, a more adamant nip at the base of my neck. I feel my need for him so heavily I swear it’s leaked into my bones. “Aleksander.”
When he pulls away, I fight the urge to whine. The night is still humid, but with the absence of his touch I feel like I’m shivering. He regards me silently for a long moment before shifting his weight again. I feel my heart stall in my chest as his hand softly brushes a strand of hair out of my face. He lets his hand linger there, at the apple of my cheek. The entire world seems to stall as he leans down, his hand cupping the side of my face as his mouth inches closer to mine. 
“I can feel the fluttering of your heart.” 
Any poor defense dies in my throat as his lips meet mine. He gives me no time to think about what’s happening as he presses into me even harder. Kirigan holds my face as his teeth graze against my bottom lip. My mouth opens slightly in surprise, giving him the opportunity he needs to slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue slowly brushes against mine, coaxing me into total, delirious, compliance. When he starts to pull away, I react, my hands flying forward to grab his hair. He lets me get away with tugging him towards me, prolonging the kiss as he bites my bottom lip. 
One of his hands leaves my face and travels up the hands holding onto his hair. He pulls me off of him easily, pinning both of my wrists above my head with one hand. “Easy,” Kirigan warns, “You’ve been such a good girl, let’s not ruin it before we’ve started.” 
A tiny sigh leaves me. I can feel the pride he takes in that as his hand trails further down my body. His fingers ghost along the hem of my underwear teasingly. 
“Is someone there?” I’ve never damned the voice of a stranger more. 
Panic and dread roll in my stomach. I’m going to get caught like this, with my nightgown bunched at my hips beneath the General Kirigan. An unclothed, wet, General Kirigan. “I’m bathing.” 
Okay...good...Aleksander spoke. Anyone with common sense would run at the thought of invading on Kirgan’s privacy. It’s a good thing that the soldier had the sense to linger behind a thicket of bushes. “Pardon General, but there’s been a crucial development. A new strategy should be thought of as soon as possible.” 
No. No. The thought of losing contact so entirely, of having a moment that should have never happened be ripped from me before it’s even really happened is overwhelming. I feel my lips pull into a pout. Kirigan’s hand adjusts on me, his thumb pressing teasingly over where I’m neediest. I bite my tongue to avoid making an inappropriate noise. 
“Five minutes--I’ll be in the strategy tent in five minutes.” 
“I’ll tell the others, General.”
Great. I hear the stranger disappear, his feet crushing twigs and grass as he leaves us. Aleksander’s attention returns to me quickly. Disappointment swells in my chest as I take in the solemn look that crosses his features. His hand moves to my chin quickly before pulling me into another deep kiss. It’s too short lived. 
“I have to go.” 
Frowning, I lift my hand to trace my fingers up his arm. It’s softer than I should allow myself to be, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Not when this is probably never going to happen again. “Do you?” I mumble to myself, half joking.
He sighs once, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “No pouting.” 
Now that whatever little bubble we were in has popped, I’m capable of normal feelings. Including shame. “I am n--” 
“Easy, little dove, I’ll remember all of this when I find you again.” 
This...this is going to happen again? “You’re going to find me?” 
“I haven’t yet heard your voice crack on my name as I undo you.” He punctuates the promise with a kiss to my jaw. “Again.” Another kiss. “And again.” Another brush of his lips as he finally pulls away. “And again.” 
My breath catches itself in my throat as he moves off of me entirely. Damn whatever change in the war that’s pulled him away from me so suddenly. I sit up as he stands. I’m not sure where to look now that he’s not in close enough proximity to cloud my thoughts. I should leave as he dresses, but I can’t quite bring myself to. It doesn’t feel safe, not when the man that interrupted us could reappear at any moment. Not when I want to hold onto his presence like this as long as possible. 
 He squeezes my shoulder warmly as he passes before bending down to press one more kiss next to where his hand is. 
“Soon,” he promises again. 
--
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