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#that scene was soooo dark i almost gave up lol
dotieeee · 2 years
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The Dream That Got Away
A Preview
Status: Not yet started
Pairing: Dark!Morpheus x You (no Y/N!)
This is a multi-chapter fic — updates will be erratic, but I’ve outlined almost everything in this fic, so you have my word I’ll complete this
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Overall Warnings!! Take heed:
Morpheus is DARK – in canon, he changes for the better (or at least, tries to – but we don’t do canon lol, so he goes even more batshit crazy) cue obsession, manipulation, possessiveness, powerplay
18+ ONLY – explicit scenes will be present, some explicit language
DUB-CON and NON-CON scenes
Character death (sort of)
Creator vs Creation drama
And other dark stuff that may be added in the future
You have been warned!! Proceed with caution!!!
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Premise:
Morpheus creates you, a Dream that inspires passion in humanity for their daily tasks and helps them discover what they want in life. He names you Mera, derived from the Greek word ‘meraki,’ meaning ‘to do something with passion, with absolute devotion, with undivided attention.’ Perhaps it’s you, his own creation, who inspires him, for he realizes his true want for companionship, and it’s you he decides to fulfill that need. So, what if, after his capture for more than a century, he finds you in love with a mortal and hears of your plans to run away from the Dreaming, from him, forever?
Chapter 1 Teaser
It's your creator’s eyes that you first see when you open yours – eyes that seemingly contain the entire universe in them, so blue, so warm, so tender. They look at you with so much adoration, you couldn’t help but smile and lean to the warmth of his palm caressing your cheek. He returns your smile with equal fervor. The first time you hear his voice, so deep and velvety and hypnotic, he gives you a name, ‘Mera.’
 “My little dream, you’re beautiful. You’re perfect.” You watch his lips move as he utters his praise of his own creation.
 You bask is his touch, noting how you had no right to be called ‘perfect,’ when he stands, regal in his own beauty, breathtaking and ethereal. He gives you a function which you take by heart – you are to inspire mortals to put passion in what they do and help them find what they’re truly looking for in their lives while they sleep and roam in his realm, your home, which he calls the Dreaming.
 “For I am Dream of the Endless, the King of Dreams and Ruler of the Nightmare Realm.”
Your first words are of utter reverence and gratitude. “My Lord and my King, I owe you my life. Do as you will with it.”
 You watch as Dream’s eyes light up with an emotion you have yet to learn the meaning of. Unbothered, you place your hand on the one still cupping your face gently, as you quietly declare your devotion to the purpose he gave you for his realm and his dreamers. You decide to pointedly ignore that faint ringing in your ears, that voice at the back of your head quietly telling you that something was amiss and cautioning you to tread lightly in his presence.
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Author notes:
Please engage, comment and reblog!! This is my first ever fic (I’ve soooo many ideas, but this is the one I got inspired enough to actually write!!), so kindness is truly appreciated
Special shoutout to @queenshelby for inspiring me to pen this — your dedication to Tom fics is unparalleled and they're a freaking treasure!!
And as well as to all you Dream writers whose fics I’ve had the pleasure to read and reread, you guys rock
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gooseymacleans · 8 months
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Heyy dw anon here. hope you’re doing good! Bit late on this review as my uni started up again and I am swamped already. but anyway. Episode 5. Want to preface this by saying I did really enjoy the episode. I am just a bit irritated with our girl Bernadette.
That being said loved the Chee and Bern moments. The whole she dated Elvis reveal had me gaping at my TV like??Damn Girl ok?? Thanks for sharing or good for you or? The writers are really trying to embrace the time period in the funkiest way possible!
Blond man is still being awful, Joe should have scalped him and called it a day but nooo some dumbass had to let Gordo drive the dude ALONE at NIGHT like ofc he escaped, who is surprised raise your hand! Need him executed asap.
then the whole thing with Dean was soso sad but so well done. His words to Bern about them not even being recognized as Americans obviously shook her entire worldview a bit.. and her giving him the necklace and a hug was soooo :((( her internal turmoil over Dean and the draft is so much worse in context with her border patrol job too like Bern I know you want to move up the ladder or whatever the fuck but jfccc get a gripppp. Atp I am genuinely concerned she’s going to leave like don’t you fucking dare!!
Like I get it. I do. Glass ceiling on the rez and all that. maybe she feels trapped (tho if that’s actually the case I would have liked the show to make that more obvious beyond her just saying “I want to find my own way”) And having modern day context for how shit the US border patrol is and how badly women and especially woc are treated in white-male dominated professions (and this is happening in 1971 to boot) helps to make it seem like she’s making an even worse decision if she goes. to me it’s a no brainer, I’m staying. But I really just think Bern doesn’t know any of that, or at least choses not to acknowledge it. Like she saw what happened to Jim in the FBI, come on now. and he warns her too this episode, “-I can come back” “Can you?” *silence*. He almost didn’t get to come back! Bern fr needs to make a weighted decision matrix and figure out her decision that way bc I think the lack of sleep is starting to affect her cognitive activity.
Anyway. Sorry for being a downer this week irl shit combined with the fact that the finale of s1 wasn’t exactly happy is giving me a creeping feeling that ep6 will be a rough one. Hopefully I’ll be wrong and we’ll actually get to see everyone experiencing happiness on our screens, but we’ll see!
everyone dont moveeeee, dark winds anon is back.
OKAYYY so we were a litttleeee off in our predictions HOWEVER I will say, in my heart I know what is chrew. that small scene of them sitting on the floor of her living room…….I currently live there in that moment nobody break the immersion for me. yeah, it was kinda weird for them to say that like at first I thought she was joking but no mames, she was actually being serious 😭
literallyyyyy not a bootlicker or whatever but iirc, cops follow a two buddy rule system so like, the fact that gordo probably gave himself the task of driving this sick son of a bitch on his own by himself bc #ego like omfg shut UP take someone with you, idiot 🙄 it’s like every time they try to shoot at the suspect and never shoot at the tires…these people are making the WORST decisions like if I were in that university, that blond man would nottt have escaped. we’d do a better job than the police -_-
omfgggg that part with dean and bern now THAT….moment of silence bc I almost cried LOL sorryyyy the emotions got to me again. if this was meant to push her into the border patrol route, oh, I’m shaking my fist because what is this show without miss. bernadette manuelito?? like, I’m really scratching my head at some of the decisions that are being made in this season. a part of me respects the route they’re taking, there are parts that I do love, and other parts where it makes me look around the room and wonder what everyone is thinking.
this show has always been bold in its message and like you said, I wish they had pressed more into those issues and leaned into the reasonings. I just don’t want bern to become some weird girlboss whedon strong girl because she’s always had that strength within her. it never had to do with the job, it’s about who she is as a person. exactlyyyy like why did she even apply in the first place when she saw the chokehold the government had on jim…….we need to go back to the drawing board…maybe a nap and a sandwich will do her some good 🙏🏽
don’t apologize for anything, babe!! we won’t always dig every single episode. it can be frustrating as well when it’s a show that you care about and they slip a bit and you’re like I know you’re better than this, girl 🤨 to me, I blacked out and only remember the jimbern moments bc the rest I was like, okay, we’re setting things up but I’m yawning a bit. finale day, everyone. and to those who already saw it on amc+, should I prepare for trench warfare or,,..
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daniel-bruehl · 2 years
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("You sure this is the right one? It's completely empty.")
ZEMO (once again) being the reason the mission succeeds in THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER - Power Broker | dir. Kari Skogland (2021)
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crisis34 · 3 years
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So I’ve had this irondad idea that I would KILL for someone to write. I’ve wanted to write it too but I don’t think I’ll get to it.
I started kinda sorta actually writing this in a few scenes 😂 don’t mind my weird idea writing style. Feel free to change what you want or add your own twist on things!! And please tell me if you do write this idea. I’ve had it stuck in my mind and I wanted to make it at least 10k-30k words.
I sadly, don’t have time for that though haha! Soooo hopefully someone wants to write this so I can read it lol
———
The idea is that after Tony passes away the rest of the Avengers talk to Peter for about two years, since Peter spends time at the compound and all that.
But at a random point Peter notices he’s getting ignored by the Avengers for months, they won’t say anything on why they’re all stressed and won’t talk to Peter AT ALL.
One day one of them (most likely Sam/Rhodey) let’s it slip that they have an imposing threat on earth they’re trying to find and it’s so classified that Peter can’t get his hands on the information.
So Peters bummed they don’t trust him, probably gets a line said to him like “Look kid, we really don’t need your help on this. Trust me.” And it destroys Peters self esteem because he’s already 18 and they still see him as the kid.
He goes home one day after school/compound/work or something and when he walks in his spidey senses act up.
Looking into his apartment (moved away from aunt May assumingly) he sees nothing at first so he’s suspicious but not taking any drastic measures.
And then he walks into the living room, where he has a view of the kitchen. And who happens to be standing there eating the fucking blueberries?
Tony motherfucking Stark.
Peter flips out, because he saw Tony die. He’s rambling about how he thought he was dead and all that but then he sees something that tells him -it’s not his Tony-.
The Tony Stark eyes he always remembered were whiskey brown. This guy had glowing blue eyes.
And now Peter’s heart drops. He’s trying to get information out of the imposter and that’s when the guy finally speaks.
He tells Peter about how he’s been on this earth for a few months, the Avengers spotted him through satellite, and how he’s from an alternate reality.
Peter refers to the guy as Anthony since he isn’t his Tony Stark. But he also realizes this is what the Avengers were keeping from him.
Anthony explains how he was drawn here as first (which we later get a point of view from Anthony when he first got on this earth and he wasn’t drawn there, he was told to go there. By Tony Stark whispering in his head).
Anthony also tells Peter that there’s a bigger threat than him on their way, and the Avengers are so caught up looking for him they’re ignoring the other threat.
Peters skeptical, he really is. (If you do end up writing this please don’t make this another Quentin Beck. I don’t want Peter being too gullible or getting used by Anthony because that kinda ruins the plot/already been done in far from home)
Peter has close to no trust for Anthony, especially since he has no information at all from the Avengers. But he still partially believes the guy that there’s another threat.
And he knows he’d have a lot of guilt if he turned him in and there was a threat he could’ve stopped.
So him and Anthony team up.
They look for the bad guy, maybe go through goons/hydra agents for information. But now Peters stumped.
Because Anthony isn’t afraid to use a gun or kill. Anthony’s moral meter isn’t like Tony’s was, especially in front of the kid.
Peter scolds him, tells him that he won’t be killing around him or else he’s shutting the whole operation down.
After that Anthony only kills a few more times, and Peter tries to yell at him for those but he sees rage behind Anthony’s eyes.
Especially since the guys Anthony had killed almost hurt/killed Peter. Peter kept quiet for those deaths and they end up back at his apartment to sleep maybe.
Peters silent after he realizes that it seems Anthony cares about him. This is the night before they confront the big bad guy.
For reference they’ve been together looking for information for weeks!! Keep that in mind cause then you can add your own cute scenes in those weeks of maybe Anthony being protective or helping Peter with homework.
In the middle of the night Peters spidey senses go off, he wakes up and immediately looks for Anthony. He walks into the living area to see the guy peacefully sleeping on the couch.
His eyebrows scrunch together and he decides to go back to bed but can’t fall back asleep.
And then the Avengers break down the door of Peters apartment.
Peter freaks out l, hearing it and Sams familiar footsteps along with whoever else you want to be there. Rhodey would make the most sense with the rest of the Avengers waiting at the compound.
Peter runs back to the living room to where they’re already handcuffing Anthony and Anthony isn’t saying a word, but Peter is trying to convince them to stop and there’s a bigger threat out there they need to be after.
Rhodey or Sam would tell him sternly to get to the compound.
Apparently they had found out the two of them were working together while trying to find out where Anthony was after figuring out he was on this earth.
When he’s at the compound he finds out Anthony has been out in an interrogating place at the compound and each of the Avengers try to crack him but he won’t say a word.
Now(preferably Sam but you can have Peters main Friendship be with someone else, lol but this part of the friendship will be a bit rocky) Sam confronts Peter.
Goes something like this:
“Peter you knew better, why didn’t you contact an Avenger? Huh?”
“Because I knew you guys would do this shit Sam!! There’s a threat! I’ve seen it, we need to stop the threat.”
“Peter, there have been no signs of a threat against earth. At least nothing like he seems to be telling you. Because he won’t tell us anything. I need information on him! Because that damn well isn’t Tony Stark.”
“I know that, of course I fucking know that. You just.. you don’t know him Sam. I swear he’s a decent guy. Anthony is telling the truth.”
“No. He’s manipulating you, he knew you were an easy target and that’s why he went to you!”
Peter pauses for a second, tears catching up with his emotions as he begins to cry. “That’s what you think? That’s what you all think.. of course.”
Sam seems to realize he messed up, but he keeps his mouth shut and let’s Peter talk.
“You guys don’t trust me. I don’t even know why I hang around here, I’m obviously not welcome.” Peter laughs, pained.
“What? Of course we trust you.”
“That’s a god damn lie!! Because if you did this wouldn’t have happened.” Peter yelled.
Sam stays quiet again, remembering how he told Peter that he couldn’t tell him about the threat they were all worried about. Each of them didn’t trust that Peters reaction wouldn’t cause a hurricane of events, it seems it did anyway.
“Do you know.. how scared I was?” Peter whispered this time, wiping his tears away.
“What?”
“Do you know how fucking scared I was when Tony Stark ended up in my apartment! He died two years ago right in front of me and then there he was!! Eating blueberries in my kitchen with glowing blue eyes as if it never happened.” Peter said, watching as Sams face dropped.
Peter shakes his head and continues. “I’m going home, maybe think before you decide I’m to be untrusted next time.”
Sam doesn’t stop Peter because he’s already pissed the kid off.
Either way it was 2am and he assumed Peter wanted some sleep. The whole night Anthony doesn’t say a word.
The next morning the Avengers decide they need Peter to clarify what happened.
When one of them goes to Peter’s apartment, they can’t find him. At first they assumed he went somewhere but the tracker on his suit the compound has access to has been clipped. (If you can figure out a better way that they figure out Peter went after the threat on his own go for it).
After Sam figures out Peters gone he hurries into the cell that Anthony is in, guilt putting in his stomach because what if Peter was right and he was against a threat much larger than himself.
“Where is he?” Sam immediately asks after slamming the door shut behind himself.
Anthony stares at him, obviously planning on not saying anything.
“Where the fuck is Peter? C’mon asshole, you told him there was a threat and now I can’t fucking find him. Where is he?”
Sam watches as Anthony’s face pales and he looks down at the ground with his eyes wide.
Sams stomach churns. “Please? Come on, I don’t know your intentions but please tell me. He’s only 18, I-“
Anthony gets the watch as Sam regrets every word he ever said to Peter and holds back tears because there was a chance they wouldn’t find Peter and it would be Sams fault.
“Get me out of here.” Anthony tells Sam.
Sam stares at him, there’s a darkness behind Anthony’s eyes at that moment he’s only seen on Bucky when he had to act like the winter soldier with Zemo.
Sam thinks back to Peter voguing for Anthony and makes a decision. This time, he would trust Peter.
“Alright.”
None of the other Avengers had been consulted during this decision, but Sam leaves the tracking of his wings on just in case.
He and Anthony would go together to help Peter.
“What are we doing?” Anthony asked while Sam walked into his room at the compound.
“I don’t know what we’re up against, I gotta suit up.” Sam said.
Anthony hummed and nodded, leaning against the doorway while Sam picked up something familiar.
“Is that Captain America’s shield?” Anthony asked, raising a brow.
“Yeah, Steve gave it to me before he retired.” Sam nodded, picking up a duffel bag.
“Which makes you Captain America.” Anthony smiled.
“Yup.” Sam chuckled.
“Alright, grab your suit. You can change on the plane.” Anthony decided, already walking off.
“What?” Sam quickly slung the duffel bag over his shoulder, carrying the shield and jogging to catch up with Anthony.
“What do you mean, plane?” Sam asked.
Anthony lifted his hand, holding a pair of keys in it. “Snatched it before you guys locked me up. You should really have an AI looking over this place to tell you things.” He suggested.
Sam felt some deja vu, remembering when Tony was alive and the voice of Friday could be heard everywhere. Rhodey shut her down, unable to listen to her voice and be reminded of his friend.
Anthony takes them to where Peter is currently trying to get a good vantage point on the threat, he’s only getting minor goons outside the building(maybe? The antagonist is up to you).
Sam stays back for a bit, getting a call on his phone from Rhodey who he knows is pissed.
He hesitantly answers and listens to the scolding but gives them their location anyway, having more Avengers on their way.
Anthony and Peter are talking and planning as well as joking. Peter seems pleased that Sam decided to trust him.
The three of them start to infiltrate the threat, Anthony has a wrist gauntlet that’s ice blue and silver he uses as well as a gun.
The Avengers arrive rather quickly to help the fight, all very wary about Anthony.
Here’s the thing, they all know Anthony’s moral is messed up and he isn’t afraid of killing or anything like that. They know he isn’t Tony.
So when Peter gets injured/almost dies they are all very surprised to see Anthony freeze as Sam tries to help the wound on his body.
The threat is gone at this point and the Avengers are trying to help Peter while he’s screaming out in pain, and Anthony is unfamiliar with the liquid rolling down his face.
(You can also make it where everyone thinks Peters dead and he kinda wakes up in the middle of their mourning lol)
And then Anthony snaps back into it, rushing forward and sliding through The small crowd and leaning down next to Peter with Sam on the other side.
“Hey hey hey, you’re alright kid. You’re alright.” Anthony said, forcing and smile and putting his hand on the side of Peter face.
Peters crying while Sams trying to get the bullet/clean the wound.
Anthony grabs onto Peters hand and squeezes it, Peter squeezes back.
“You’re gonna be okay Peter, I know it hurts, Underoos.” Anthony whispered in Peters ear.
Peter looked like he was gonna say something but then looked up and locked eyes with Anthony.
“What?” Peter whispered.
For Anthony, that moment too felt unreal. Memories began to blend with his own.
~~
‘There’s this crazy car parked outside!’
‘Mr. Parker.’
‘Umm. What, what are you doing? Hey.. I- I- I’m Peter.’
‘Tony.’
~
‘If you’re nothing without the suit, you shouldn’t have it!’
~
‘I don’t want to go, please, I don’t want to go Mr. Stark.’
‘I’m sorry.’
~
‘Hey! Holy cow! You will not believe what's been going on. Do you remember when we were in space? And I got all dusty? And I must've passed out because I woke up and you were gone. But Doctor Strange was there right. And he said 'It's been five years. Come on, they need us.' And he started doing the yellow sparkly thing that he does. Anyway...’
Tony hugged Peter, feeling as the teens excitement wore down.
‘This is nice.’
~
‘Mr. Stark, hey, Mr. Stark?’
‘Can you hear me? it’s Peter. Hey..we won. Mr.Stark. We won, Mr.Stark. We won, You did it sir, you did it.’
~~
“Anthony? What did- what did you just call me?” Peter asked, sliding up against the wall nearby after Sam finished making sure his wound was okay.
The Avengers looked confused, Rhodey glancing at the Tony lookalike uneasily.
Anthony and Peter looked at each other, both pale and scared.
“I- I don’t understand.” Anthony muttered.
Peter seemed to be staring at Anthony’s eyes the whole time, tears going down his face.
“Your eyes, Mr. Stark.” Peter held his hand to his mouth, staring in disbelief.
“What?” Anthony asked, new found emotion for the kid and everyone around him.
“Your eyes, Tony. They’re brown.”
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So I watched 10.09 recently, and it has that part where Dean tells a story about him basically being almost roofied as a teen, but somehow it ends up framed as the funny joke and yet another proof that John "did what he could", and I kind of hate this? And it's the same episode in which MoC!Dean killed guys that kidnapped and tried to rape Claire, and you'd think writers would've addressed the parallels and acknowledge that Dean could've been triggered by this situation. 1/2
2/2 But in the end, it's never addressed, and the whole situation is framed as the proof that Dean is evil now. And I'm not even sure what I am trying to say, but with that being the show's approach back in s10, I'm not surprised about the finale anymore. Guess we should've known?
That’s an excellent angle to look at the issue because the Mark of Cain arc is a clear example of how people with different experiences will see the same thing in wildly different ways. There’s this phase of season 10 where everyone is like “oh no Dean is Getting Worse” and when you look at what Dean is doing... you actually go “...good for him”.
Let’s give Caesar what belongs to Caesar. It’s not “the writers” in this case, it’s Dabb. Plenty of other writers don’t fall into this John apologism thing. Just look at how the episode before Lebanon, written by Buckner and Ross Leming, says that sometimes John would temporarily kick Dean out because he was “pissed at him” despite Dean always taking his side to mantain the peace. It almost seems like a statement to sprinkle some salt given what Dabb does in Lebanon, you know? Maybe not, but there is a tension between “John was shitty” writers and “John did his best” writers.
In hindsight, we gave Dabb too much of the benefit of the doubt. We were like, weeell, that’s supposed to be way the characters perceive the truth, which is distorted by the trauma... But now it’s obvious that he truly believed in the John-did-his-best version. He brought him back and got Mary back with him. No matter what happened to the finale, the network didn’t print those pictures of John and Mary to hang on Sam’s wall. He never took Dean’s abuse seriously and it shows.
The “anedocte” of Dean getting drugged and “saved” by John from being raped is obviously there to parallel him with Claire. Which works! It’s so weird because it’s like. You are soooo close to getting the point. Younger Dean was assaulted just like this teenage girl is assaulted and Dean saves her... but apparently John yelling at those people is a good way of dealing with the issue, while murdering child traffickers is an overraction thus bad.
That’s the problem, isn’t it? That Dean’s murder spree is framed as an overreaction. Sam is like “tell me you had to do this! tell me it was you or them!” - the answer to which (by the narrative) is obviously no, it wasn’t self defense, he just killed them because he could. He just murdered those men for no reason except he felt like being murdery. And the audience is supposed to be like “oh no! Dean is murdery for no reason except for murderiness! That’s bad!”.
But it’s a power fantasy, isn’t it? Going on a murder spree on rapists and traffickers. I bet any people who’s been violated like that has fantasized of doing the exact thing Dean does here. Killing them all.
Dean had the physical strength and skill to kill them all, why shouldn’t he kill them? (I mean, in real life I’m against private justice because I’m a fan of the state of law, but the Supernatural universe obviously works on different principles than the state of law. Again, it’s a fictional narrative that plays out as a fantasy for the audience, so.)
So what was Dabb’s intention? I’m afraid it’s the worst one. “John Winchester’s not going to win any Number One Dad awards, you know? But, you know, damn if he wasn’t there when we needed him”. What the fuck, Dabb? It’s been established since season 1 that John WASN’T there when they needed him. Which... I’m afraid... leads us to the Cas-Claire plot in the episode. Cas has fucked off with Jimmy’s body leaving Claire on her own. Parallels how John wasn’t going to win wny Number One Dad awards. But! Cas is there when Claire Really Needs Him i.e. when she’s about to be raped by older men. Parallels how John was there when Dean Really Needed Him i.e. when he was about to be raped by older men.
I think the point is to say, Cas kinda sucked because he took Claire’s dad away but hey! He’s actually a good figure for Claire because he gets there in time to prevent her from being raped. Just like (ew) John kinda sucked as a father because hunting and stuff, but hey! He’s actually a good figure for Dean because he got there in time to prevent him from being raped.
It’s pretty yucky. Literally NOBODY wanted a parallel between Cas and John. But he made one. And he made one to absolve Cas from the guilt he carried for what he did to Claire (Claire’s mother is a mother so who fucking cares about her. She’s basically a Blurry Wife(TM), she’s only a tool for Claire’s arc, Cas apparently only cares about the harm he did the child, not the wife, for some reason.) and to absolve Cas from his guilt it absolves John too. Don’t worry, being a parent is hard. You often screw up. But you can *looks at smudged writing on hand* prevent the kid from being raped by predatory adults and everything’s fine now.
It’s not really important if the child suffered hunger or whatever, the only important thing is that they don’t get raped, because that’s bad, everything else is just a little detail.
All Dabb got with that scene was to paint Sam as extremely unsympathetic because he’s no longer a child, he’s a full adult now and still thinks of that episode at the CBGB as a funny story. That’s not a good look. It almost makes you think that the writer himself saw it as a funny story. Lol teenage boy biting more than he can chew. But then why the Claire parallel? The Claire scene onviously is not supposed to be anything but horrific. I'll give Dabb the benefit of the doubt on this specific thing.
It’s weird, yes, because Dabb wrote Dark Side of the Moon where he establishes that John was a bad husband/father even before tragedy hit the family. But apparently that’s the “not going to win any Number One Dad awards” part, I suppose? I guess he intended to write John as this flawed, ~complex~ figure who was imperfect but still brave and whatever blah blah did his best blah blah. I’m all for flawed complicated characters but a horrible father is a horrible father. A rose by any other name... parental abuse is still parental abuse even if the poor guy was complicated and traumatized and did what he thought he had to do to prepare his sons for a violent world.
Also, the story frames Dean’s escapade as a teenager being stupid. “You know what he got for that? Me whining about how much he embarrassed me. Me telling him that I hated him. But then he stopped and turned around looked at me and said, Son, you don’t like me? That’s fine. It’s not my job to be liked.” “It’s my job to raise you right.” This seems straight from a novel about teenagers doing something stupid that they’re too young to realize that their parents are right to be against them doing. But this isn’t just... a parent walking into a bar to stop their child to drink alcohol. Dean literally describes feeling sick from something that was inside the alcohol.
Sure, it makes sense that he’d lash out to John because of the shame and shock. But the scene is... off. Are we supposed to see this as a typical teenage mistake? Are we supposed to read it as something as horrific as what happened to Claire, literally sold into rape? Or, worse, are we supposed to see what happened to Claire as a teenage mistake, ah silly teenager, blindly trusting shady people, no wonder you end up in a situation where you’d get raped if a father figure didn’t sweep in and save you. I hope that wasn’t the intent.
To get back to Dean’s Mark-of-Cain violence, the writers clearly didn’t intend it to come from the Darkness up to a certain point. It was supposed to an arc about your own inner darkness (consider the Charlie episode, a couple episodes later). Then they came up with the idea of The(TM) Darkness, the suppressed cosmic feminine. While it caused a bit of dissonance in the subtext, it doesn’t really change Dean’s narrative, because his inner darkness is the trauma, and his trauma is inherebtly tied to the “feminine” i.e. the parts of him that don’t fit seamlessly into the scheme of toxic masculinity values. That the violence that comes from the Mark of Cain comes from Dean himself and that’s it, or is connected to the Darkness, it doesn’t change what it means for Dean. Dean and Amara have parallel histories, the feminine principle locked away, the trauma the anger stems from.
In 10x09 we’re still in the Before The (TM) Darkness era, before the suppressed cosmic feminine. The Mark of Cain arc is still about... well, Cain. But the shift is the signal that someone looked at Dean’s arc and said... you know what? “Lucifer gave me this curse so now I’m demonic and murdery” is meh. “Toxic masculinity suppresses the feminine and it creates trauma which rage and violence comes from” is more interesting. I don’t know whose idea it was, but it was a good idea, and surely the idea came from seeing how Dean’s MoC narrative was unfolding.
Dean’s MoC narrative was unfolding in a certain way, in fact, because of a pretty simple reason. There’s a fundamental tension in Dean’s MoC arc. We want him to go murdery, but it’s also our main character, so we don’t want him to do really horrible things because he still needs to be relatable. The audience cannot hate him, so he must NOT do something entirely unforgivable. He still needs to be somewhat relatable, even when demonic or demonic-adjacent.
So he goes on a murder spree... but it’s rapists and child traffickers. He’s demon, but he kills a misogynistic dude that wanted his wife dead for cheating on him. He’s a demon, but beats up dudes that harass women. He does a slaughter, but they’re nazi. He’s off the deep end, but works a case of kidnapped and abused young women...
Speaking of which. 10x23, written by Jeremy Carver. Dean works a case where a girl was killed while dressed scantily and Dean makes some slut-shaming remarks, and we’re supposed to think “whoa Dean, that’s bad”. But later he confronts the girl’s father and what does he say?
I’m just doing my job, Mr. McKinley.
By suggesting my daughter was a slut?
I’ll admit that thought crossed my mind. Then I came here, and I smelled the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervade this home.
You shut your face right now.
And you know what? I don’t blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her.
Back then the episode was super controversial and everyone hated the case because of the apparent slut-shaming but I loved it! Because it’s not about the girl. It’s about Dean. Dean doesn’t think that a girl gets killed because she dresses in a miniskirt so it’s her fault. Dean is projecting on himself and he’s not actually victim blaming the girl, he’s victim blaming himself. And when he absolves the girl by putting the blame on the father... well, subtextually he’s absolving himself by putting the blame on his father. On the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervaded his own home. He’s textually not ready to absolve himself, of course, he summons Death to ask him to kill him later, but subtextually he’s on the right path.
Rose McKinley basically did the same mistake Dean did at the CBGB when he trusted some older people who offered him drinks and the same mistake Claire did when she trusted a man who sold her for money because he offered him a place and stability. She trusted the wrong people (in this case, vampires, which adds the whole subtext of vampires and sexuality) who took advantage of her. Except Rose had no one to save her. (Her friend, Crystal, gets rescued by Dean, even if he causes the other hunter Rudy to die in the process.)
Carver’s writing is pretty brutal. The girl made that mistake because was abused at home, so she was desperate for validation and that desperation drove her into the wrong hands. (Rose even has a brother who blames himself for bringing her sister to her future murderers, destructive sibling relationship check.) It doesn’t actually even matter if Dean guessed right about Rose’s family situation, because what matters is what it tells us about Dean. He basically relates to a dead abused girl. Actually all through the season Dean is paralleled to “skanks” “sluts” and sex workers. Obviously this happens kinda all through the show, the whole “the business is based on absent fathers” thing happened much earlier in the story, so it’s not new. But s10 draws a picture of female suffering - abuse, manipulation and death. Season 10 was difficult to go through. In hindsight, it was probably on purpose because it was supposed to be darkest hour of the feminine. Summed with some good old fashioned misogyny, but hey.
The Carver era was wonky but Carver wanted to free the feminine. (I believe that Mary’s comeback, while written by Dabb because of the showrunner shift, was planned before the showrunner shift.) We thought the Dabb era wanted the same, with Mary choosing life and Amara being independent and so on, but it evidently wasn’t the case. Not a single woman arrives at end of the story. It’s hardly ~Bucklemming or ~the network or ~covid because it starts before the very end.
I’m not saying that dead sluts are more feminist than living women, but if the women die or disappear anyway (and they did) I’d rather have an exploration of trauma than nothing. And I definitely prefer a dead slut narrative that calls out parental abuse than a narrative where women live but abuse gets the you-did-your-best treatment.
Whoops! I digressed! But feel free to ask for any clarification or send me any observation or thought.
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Heyy guys!! So am back with some of my other shits. This is the part 2. Hope y'all like it. Here goes nothing.
Link for part 1.
Warnings:- mentions of death and fictional characters. It's a long ass ride, so fasten ur seatbelts. lol anyways.
Genre:- angst and dark fae.
PART-2
I JUST USED YOU
It had almost been 6 months or so, but you never fully understood why seonghwa never wore tank tops while he was out, specially with you. He told you that he kinda felt cold and that was the reason why he didn't wear tank tops.
You were not convinced by his answer but let it slip, again not thinking much of it.
It was semester break and you decided to surprise him by showing up at his place. He opened the door and smiled widely at your visit.
To your surprise he was wearing a tank top and on his left shoulder you could see something that seemed more like a tattoo.
Yet you couldn't figure out what it was because it was hidden under the top. "You like tattoos?" Was your question eyes not leaving the tattoo on his shoulder.
A posed laughter left his before answering your question. "No, not that much though. But it has an important meaning for me."
"Can I have a look at it?" You asked, now curious.
"sure, but let's see if you can recognise it." He said shrugging his shoulders.
Before you could respond he had already turned around and with the speed of lighting he pulled sleeve to the side and then back up.
You partially saw the tattoo. To you it seemed a triangle with something drawn inside it. Seonghwa had always been a tease, so it was probably one of moments of him being a tease.
"Hey!! Dudeeeee!!! Come OnnnNNNNnn" you whined but it wasn't going to work. Atleast not with Park Seonghwa.
He just laughed and went to the couch. "Wanna have a movie marathon? Or wanna watch any drama?" To these questions, you nodded like a small kid. It was going well, until a kiss scene appeared and you both looked at each other, deep in the eyes.
The next thing you realised was, his lips were on yours, and both lips moving in a perfect sync. That was when you couldn't hold it in any longer and pulled away.
"I-I I'm gonna go and shower." He said before going to his room. After he showered he came out only with a towel around his waist.
You were waiting for him on the couch outside. He went to the kitchen, with a towel still wraped around his waist and shirtless.
That was when you realised who he was. The tattoo on his left shoulder made it all clear. This meant that, all your suspicions were true.
But you still stayed, your love for him took over all your senses. You went completely silent.
Seonghwa noticed the silence but before he could say anything, "Are you the vampire I was warned about?" This question left your lips and reached his ears.
His eyes went wide. He then thought that now the fish is already in the net and all he has to do is just pull the net up. And he did exactly that.
"yeah. I'm the vampire you were warned about, but hear me out." You just nodded and gave him a look which meant 'continue speaking'.
"I LOVE YOU Y/N." These words left his mouth. "I LOVE YOU TOO PARK SEONGHWA". You both finally confessed.
He leaned in to kiss you. At first it had only love and adoration in it, but soon it turned into a burning Passion. His lips went down from your jaw to your neck, the point where you were most sensitive.
He turned you around and his pointed teeth came out. They just slightly touched your neck. You just couldn't believe it. The person who just said he loved you, was now killing you.
Your heart ached with every passing millisecond. "Lemme go." You hissed, wanting to come out of his grasp, but he only inched closer to your neck.
"what are you doing seonghwa, lemme go." You hissed again. "I'm killing you, nothing else. It won't even hurt, you won't even realise when your life will leave your body."
With that he dug his sharp pair of blood suckers on your neck and your life was slowly taken away by the love of your life, by The Vampire Park Seonghwa.
I'm so so so sorry it took me soooo long to post this. But I hope you liked it. My updates will be kinda slow since I'm quite busy for the time being. So for now..
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See you guys in the next blog. Thanks @theatralist for requesting. Also thanks@simplyfunstar for helping me with this blog. You can check out her content, it's really good.
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deathvsthemaiden · 3 years
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ok wait after u sent me that ask i have to know ur top books!!! dw if u don't feel like it but i would love to hear them 🌷
This is so sweet and considerate! Thank you Eva, you gave me 5 so I’ll try to keep it to that # as well 💖🐰 off the top of my head:
🌷 The Stormlight Archive series, especially the second book, Words of Radiance. Stormlight is like 4 books + 2 novellas right now, and is projected to be 10 books and ???novellas eventually. And on top of that each main book is 1000+ pages and while you can read Stormlight on its own, most of the other books by the author, Brandon Sanderson, are part of this larger fictional universe called the cosmere. Each series takes place on a different planet, and if you are invested in the whole cosmere, there’s Easter egg references to other series in other series. So like! While I rec these books often, most people understandably don’t take me up on it wgshshh 🤭 Sanderson’s non-Stormlight books are all MUCH shorter but also much more flawed imo. Like I wouldn’t count him among my favorite authors were it not for Stormlight. anyway I’m a die hard fantasy fan so the length didn’t deter me, and I picked these up because a friend told me the world building in these books was genuinely unique instead of the typical very lazy maps composed of like. Fantasy Russia and its hostile mysterious neighbors Fantasy General East Asia and Fantasy Africa lol. and she was right! The world building is exquisite and refreshing and almost every character is canonically of color. They live in a society with an eye color based caste system and it’s.., so hard to sum up this massive series with four main characters and a ridiculous(ly fun) amount of plot lines, so I’ll cut this short and say 1) the first book, The Way of Kings, is highly expository but the ending is so so worth it, and if you enjoy the ending you’ll find merit in continuing with the series 2) Words of Radiance is my favorite book so far partially because I haven’t read the newest, Rhythm of War, yet, and also because it’s the book with the most scenes that solidified Kaladin Stormblessed (one of the main characters) as one of my favorites of all time. Another one of the best things about this series is how Brandon Sanderson portrays mental health in very natural ways, and it makes Kaladin’s growth so incredibly soothing to follow (I MEAN. He has low points that sometimes hit too close to home, but it makes you root for him harder) he really is just. Truly my definition of a hero, if we wanna get cheesy about it, and I had to pick one solid example. I love him so much this isn’t even the tip of the iceberg as to why 😭!
🌷Jane Eyre. Silly frivolous teenaged girl that I am this book swept me off my feet when I first read it and I condone every problematic aspect of it❤️ (I DONT ofc but like! I love drama and being played like a fiddle by narratives and the book delivered on both fronts! And it couldn’t have without its unsavory plot twist soooo 😙💖) (the hate this book and especially one specific character gets is funny to me just because like. Hate for the former (imo) usually stems from people taking the book too seriously while simultaneously missing the point (JE and du Maurier’s Rebecca (highly influenced by the former) are oft considered loose Bluebeard retellings for a reasonnnn!) and hate for the latter is usually just like. Warranted and then taken over the top like... he’s just a fake funny little man you guys :( and the book would’ve been boring if he wasn’t so twisted and out of touch and passionate ): not to mention I do personally in a mean ish way think it’s funny how for some people this character is one of the worst examples of men they can imagine. Like good for Them! I don’t want them to have lower standards for horribleness in people But also omg 🤭 it just reminds me of how... irony of all ironies, I’m semi frequently told I’m too harsh on real life men and then when I love twisted ones in books (for being funny and entertaining and good solid characters) I like. get the most interesting side eyes (whether figurative or literal) bwjswnhshe anyway I have nothing against Austen, I definitely enjoy her, but from what I’ve read so far, I prefer the Brontës a lot more... I need adventure! Show me horror show me rot etc etc❤️ also I’m. A stupid sucker so the fact that the book was Charlotte Brontë’s attempt to write a plain looking lady protagonist and to make her praiseworthy and virtuous and worthy of spellbinding romance makes me... 💗💓💕
🌷Keturah and Lord Death — Martine Leavitt. I haven’t seen it officially stated anywhere but to me it’s p clear this book is a retelling of/highly inspired by Godfather Death (the Grimm tale) Very simple, predictable but effective plot, and the characters are just. So much fun. From my url you can probably tell I love stories in which women (or anyone but you know. Death and the Maiden is its own trope for a reason) outsmart/face off against death. If they also k*ss, when done right, I think that’s swell as well.
🌷A Thousand Splendid Suns — Khalid Hosseini. By far the heaviest book I will mention in this ask, and I don’t rec it willy nilly for that and a few other reasons. It’s a forever fave to me because I read it at the exact right time in my life, where I was like... noticing a ton of things irl and things at home were tumultuous, and when I saw very similar things unfold in this book while I was being silenced and made to feel crazy by the adults around me, it meant so much to me to see reality as I was experiencing it in real time reflected back at me via this novel. The context of the story is wildly different from my own life and the stakes the characters face are far higher, and it is if I remember right mostly a novel about the horrors of war, which isn’t something I pretend to have any firsthand experience with, but! It was legitimately cathartic to read when I read it, and it especially meant a lot to me at the time that the author was a grown man. Not to mention how my mother is not and never has been a reader, and somehow the one and only book I ever managed to get her to read was this. Hilariously she got mad at me for only (“only”) reading depressing things (there’s... a grain of truth to that but she doesn’t need to know! 🤫) but also... she was hooked I could tell! (I got all tmi explaining this one gag I’m so sorry)
🌷A Slight Trick of the Mind — Mitch Cullin. Retirement-era Holmes! Holmes as an old man! A sad old man who keeps bees!! It’s the novel the movie Mr. Holmes was based off of (haven’t seen it yet) and I was not expecting it to get me all sentimental like it did 🤨😪 but anyway it’s like. A prolonged character study and explores some of the most interesting (to me, anyway) parts of Holmes that are only lightly touched upon in canon, like his occasionally huge follies when navigating his few close relationships and how he copes with them afterwards, his fatigue at the random injustice of the world, how he’s often mistaken both by characters that surround him and people irl as a man without feelings, etc etc. like there’s no Dr. Watson or Mrs. Hudson in this book, and the people he interacts with are almost entirely original characters, but as I listened to the audiobook it barely occurred to me to miss Watson and Hudson (I know! 😦) and the author’s original characters interacted with Holmes so believably that I sometimes forgot they weren’t ever Doyle’s. Def recommend to any flexible Holmes fan that’s not a total stickler for canon (though you don’t actually have to know much about Holmes to read this book and enjoy it! 🐝)
🌷Sleepless — Sarah Vaughn + Leila del Luca. I began with the longest book, so let me end with the shortest. It’s a 2 volume long graphic novel series and that it’s so short is the only long standing, legitimate complaint I have of it! Gorgeous art, really effectively written romance, a dark skinned girl who gets to be the proactive, lively protagonist and stunning, pined after love interest at the same time, a cast of characters that is majority of color, the perfect %-age of drama and angst etc etc. if you can find it via your library or online or smth, you can knock it out in one sitting and leave the experience eternally altered in the funnest way 👁👄👁
Honorable mentions: The Botany of Desire — Michael Pollan, Troubling Love — Elena Ferrante, The Girl from the Garden — Parnaz Foroutan
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alwaysonthemend · 4 years
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Destiel Fic Recs (An extensive rec list of almost every single Destiel fic I‘ve ever read.)
NOTE
- This is a masterlist of all of my fic recs. They include AUs, SPN universe, codas, ficlets, schoolfics, and more!
- Works marked with (*) denote my absolute favorites.  
-This rec list is all Destiel (I'm a clown 🤡, sue me.) If you don’t like it, don’t read it. 
-Yes, many of these works are NSFW, but usually said scenes can be skipped without losing important plot info.
-This list will be updated whenever I find a good fic, though probably not regularly if I'm honest. (Life happens...)
-I DO NOT own any of the work found on this list, nor do I claim it to be my own; I am simply making this so that others can enjoy these fics as well.
-Please do not hate on anyone or anything. If you don't like Destiel, then don't read the fics. If you hate the author, don't tell me because I don't care about that drama. (Walk AwaaAYyaYAaa)
1. Twist and Shout****** by @gabriel and @standbyme Archive Of Our Own.
Thoughts- I'm sure that there is nothing I can say that you haven't already heard. Just read it. Suffer along with the rest of us. There's fluff, smut, angst (the holy trinity.) This is truly the best fan fic ever written. Period. 20/10.
2. 300 Things by @cautionzombies. (I can't find the original source so you'll have to try and find it on your own...)  
Thoughts- What's a Supernatural rec list without 300 Things? This really is an amazing fic and it is written so well!  
3. How A Righteous Man Raises A Rose by @swordofmymouth- Live Journal.  
Thoughts- This fic really took me by surprise. It's tagged as an AU, but I think you'll find that it's not at all what you think. The author effortlessly sets a mood of loss and regret, yet still gives the light a chance to shine through. I went into this fic thinking it to be an AU, and it was at first. But I soon realized that there was much more to this fic than what at first meets the eye. I shed a few tears over this one.
4. Cleanse the Mirror* by @takadainmate -Live Journal.  
Thoughts- Man, this one hurts, but in the best way. I read this fic a long time ago but lost it and couldn't find it for a long time. I am so glad that I found it and was able to re read. Just as enjoyable (if not more so) the second time. Dean gets a better understanding of what it's like being an angel. (And Cas is written so well in this fic! He's just like he is in the show. It's incredible!)  
5. A Hole in the World by @bauble - Live Journal.
Thoughts- This one just hurts and hurts and hurts. This is one that you'll just have to read and see for yourself. No happy ending. (You've been warned.)  
6. In the Shadow of Your Wings by @EnochianThings - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- This is a really well written fic. There were several times that I almost forgot that I was reading a fan fic because the characters and story are just so well though out. It's a bit of a long one and is set in a (sort of) canon!verse.
7. My Throat is An Open Grave* by @inkandpaperqwerty - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- This was one of the first fan fics that I ever read for Supernatural. This one is just so heartwarming, but not before plenty of angst and hurt/comfort. The author seamlessly puts Sam and Dean into a heartbreaking AU and it's all about the love that Sam and Dean have for each other. (NOT Wincest.)  
8. Thursday's Child* by @strangeandcharm - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- All I can say is... Ow. Slow burn to end all slow burns, but so worth it in the end. This one is set in the End!verse (which I'm a total sucker for.) Dean and Cas are just so sad and I just want to hug them and make it all better. Imagine, Future!Dean's plan to kill Lucifer!Sam works and now he has to live with the fact that he killed his own brother, devil or not. And Cas has to come to terms with the fact that he survived the epic showdown, despite his belief that he wouldn't, and now has an addiction that he has to get under control. I love this fic and it really is a painfully slow read, but more than worth it in the end.  
9. Après by @imogenbynight - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- Dean and Cas go to Paris... Need I say more? I love this fic because it addresses the crappy way that Dean always has Cas coming to him and how Dean needs to step up and realize the sacrifices Cas has made for him (shameless bias opinion... Sorry) All us Cas stans will really appreciate this one. Written well, characterization flawless... What else can you ask for?
10. Dean's Days Off* by @MittenWraith - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- This is just the sweetest, fluffiest fic you could ever ask for. Reading it made me want to fall in love so badly it hurt. Cas and Dean just get some well deserved rest and quiet. I am absolutely in love with this fic and I'll read it over and over again. (Especially if I've had a bad day and need some happiness)
11. Unlit, Unmarked, and Forgotten by @awed_frog -
Archive Of Our Own.
Thoughts- This is a beautiful coda for 11x17. There's some Destiel if you squint. It's very sad but somehow manages a happy ending that renews your hope and brings a soft smile to your face.
12. Down Like Water by @museaway - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- I really like this fic a lot. It is very sad with a lot of Hurt!Castiel but it does actually have a happy ending. Just grit your teeth and bare through the angst and sadness to make it to the beautifully sappy ending.
13. Till Kingdom Come* by @freckles_n_feathers - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - This is a season 11 AU that was written before season 11 aired (the author actually somehow predicted things that were going to happen before they aired!!) This fic gave me really high hopes for season 11 that weren't quite fulfilled. I loved season 11, don't get me wrong (it's actually one of my favorite seasons) this fic was just so perfect and I wanted it to be canon so badly. (I re wrote this review like four times because I kept saying "actually" lol)  
14. 12x19 Destiel Ficlet by @Samanstiel - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - This was written before 12x19 aired, and if you were upset with how things went down then this is the fic for you. The characters are written so well and it really feels like an actual episode.
15. Contrapasso*** by @takadainmate - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- This might be the best fic ever (trumped only by Twist and Shout...) Inspired by Dantes Inferno and so beautifully written! I just... There aren't words. It's very dark, and the ending was not at all what I wanted (but after much thought, I realized that there couldn't have been a better ending.) I really got lost in this fic. I could see exactly what the author described, I could feel what the characters felt. This is true art... This is the fic we've all been looking for.
16. Put Up Your Dukes by @takadainmate - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- This fic is by one of my favorite authors (who has featured on this rec list before...) Hilariously dirty. Dean and Cas are bone heads who can't make up there minds. Human!Cas is also a little sh*t and I'm living for it. There's some smutty times in this one... (which can easily be skipped if you're not comfortable without losing any important points of the story. {at least I didn't feel like I missed anything})
17. Then I Defy You Stars* by @speary - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - So many tears were shed while I read this. The plot is just so amazing and a plot twist to end all plot twists at the end. It's full of sacrifice and love and angst and bittersweet moments. I love this fic (and I promise you will too.)
18. All the Nights by @NorthernSparrow - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- This takes place after 15x03 episode "Golden Time". A bit of a fix it fic, but canon compliant to a point. I really love this fic (I love anything written by NorthernSparrow). Also a case!fic, which I'm always a softie for. Some big questions that I have since season 15 are addressed in this fic, and I absolutely love the way they are answered.
19. A Winter's Tale* by @NorthernSparrow - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- Oh my gosh. So much Hurt!Castiel. There isn't outright Destiel but there is heavy DeanCas relations. This is a season 9 re write and it just hurts so much. If you can make it through all the pain, the happy ending makes it all worth it. Human!Cas just deserves so much better... Ahh! It's just so sad and perfect and awesome.
20. Give All My Secrets Away by @morganoconner - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - This is a sweet little fic. Not particularly long, but oh so meaningful. Dean gets cursed and his soul is pushed from his body, leaving him vulnerable and scared (the author portrays the human soul in a very interesting way). Cas looks after him and it's just so fluffy.
21. Plot Holes* by @saltyfeathers - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - Holy crap! This fic took me a whole week to finish and I enjoyed every minute of it! Every chance I got I would pull my phone out and read. I was rudely interrupted many many times so I just decided to finish it at night and stayed up until 2AM on a school night. (oops?) It's soooo well written and feels like an actual season of Supernatural. 12/10 all the way.
22. Someone Who's Feeling For Me by @ellispark - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts: Here's a fic to kick you right in the feels. I actually really genuinely enjoyed reading this fic because of how well the characters are written! Dean, Sam, and Cas run into Lisa Braeden post her mind wipe in season 6 and it brings up a whole bunch of drama for our boys. (While also helping Dean realize that she was never really the person he wanted to be with 😉) A bit of light smut and a bit of angst but definitely worth a read.  
23. Chalk and Chainmail by @angelwingsandthings - Wattpad.
Thoughts : Oh this one is so good... It's very angsty at times and Dean is a lovable dork who can't win no matter what he does and Cas is just a confused little assbutt who doesn't know what to do with himself. (So he's himself if we're being perfectly honest here 😂) There's some light smut but nothing too graphic. This one is a Highschool!AU, so prepare yourself for the delightful drama that comes along with teenage hormones. (And Charlie is a total QUEEN and I'm living for it. I love her so much.)
24. Remember When * by @VioletHaze - Archive of Our Own
Thoughts: Sooo... I've been on a bit of a School!fic kick recently. (Not a little bit. Like a lot a bit thb) This one is just so god da*n perfect (scuse my French) Dean and Cas have been best friends since fifth grade; they do everything together. Then some crap happens and they get in a huge fight junior year. Years later, they finally make it back to each other. (*Cries in fangirl*) Warning, it's sad, it hurts like heck. But there's also so many perfect moments. I promise you won't regret reading it. (And once again Charlie is a total queen and I would give my life for her. She deserves so much better... {SPN writers I'm looking at you.})
25. Everytown, USA by @aileenrose - Archive Of Our Own.
Thoughts : I've seen this fic on tons of recs but never really thought much of it. But I kept seeing it so I decided to give it a read and boy was it worth it! This is just a great fic that has plenty of fluff (And angst... Because what's a Destiel fic without sadness and pain?) Cas is a lot different from his character in the show but somehow the exact same? He's Cas, but it's like he's what Cas would have been like if he had grown up human. I just love him so much in this fic (and I want to give him a hug too... 😢)
26. I Through My Window by @dehavilland - Live Journal.
Thoughts: I've seen this fic on several recs and I finally got around to reading it myself. Some ample Destiel angst to hit you right in the feels. But I love this fic because it is incredibly motivating! Post season 5 canon-divergent and Castiel is permanently rendered human. Dean is a ginormous penis head and leaves Cas to fend for himself. Cas pines after him for a while before realizing that he doesn't need Dean to live his life. Cas stans will love this one. I just gotta include a quote because it's just beautiful. "No, I don't need you. But I want you."  
27. A Light for My Path* by @domesticadventures - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts : Oh my goodness. This fic is just... *chefs kiss* Told from the perspective of Cas' Continental. (A.K.A "Connie") Dean and Cas are having a difficult time figuring out who they want to be after the end of the last The-End-Of-Times-We're-All-Gonna-Die, but they figure it out together. There are plenty of Impala!pov fics (and even an actual episode), but I don't think I've ever come across one from Connie's perspective. Definitely worth a read.
28. Named* by @RC_McLachlan - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts : Hooo boy. This fic.... This is a complete season five re write and I LOVE IT. It's pretty angsty, but it also has some funny times thrown in. Dean is a sassy girl the whole time and I love him so much. And the plot twist at the end literally blew my mind. (brains splattered on the ceiling and everything.) 12/10.
29. And Even In The Quiet Night by @KelpietheThundergod - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts: Okay, this one is pretty sad. Not full on angst, but more fluffy sad. (If that makes sense...) Dean wants to celebrate Christmas but no one else seems interested. I just want to wrap Dean in a blanket and sing Hey Jude until he feels better! But don't worry, an absolute beautifully written cliche and sappy ending will make up for it.
30. Just More of the Same (*??) by @outpastthemoat - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts : There really aren't words to describe this series. It's just so fricken bleak but beautiful at the same time. I really don't know how to describe it. Read it, the only regret is that it ends. I honestly hated how it ended, so unfullfilling. But, that's life sometimes, and I think that's the whole point of the series. I don't know if I love it or hate it but there's no denying that it is absolutely beautifully written. 12/10
31. the cost of a thing**by @quiettewandering - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts: Hooo boy! This is a great fic! Fake marriage? Check. Slow burn? Check. Case!fic? Check. Fluff and angst? Check. This fic has it all. This fic kicked me right in the feels. My gosh, beautifully written and the characterization is FLAWLESS. But trust me, bring tissues as you watch Dean and Cas, slowly, painfully, but surely heal the trust that was shattered between them. This is an AU for season 8 in which Dean was the one who undertook the trials, not Sam. Dean is dying and there's nothing Sam and Cas can do to stop him, especially since Dean is insistent on just giving up and accepting his fate. Cas can save Dean's life, but at what cost? Surely a terrible one... Angst insues. 10/10.  
32. I'll Dig a Hole and Pull You Through by @JoCarthage - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts: If yall hated the DeanCas interaction in season six (didn't we all...?) then this is the fixit!fic for you. In this fic, Dean helps Cas defeat Raphael. And boy, there's some flangst. (Also Dom!Cas is a thing 😏)
33. Stitches by @Askance - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts: I wouldn't exactly call this a fixit!fic, buuut it is a sort of fixit for season 7. (Except Cas gets hurt, which I hate. {So does Dean...}) Cas survives the Laviathan taking over his vessal but is rendered blind. Sam and Dean have to take care of him. Loads of whump and hurt/comfort. Definitely shed a tear or two (or twenty.)
34. The Way Out* by @awed_frog - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts: *fangirl noises*. I hate to say this, but OMG! This fic blew my frickin mind! The time line is very confusing and the author gives you a way to read it in chronological order, but it's worth it to read the way it was published. Everything starts making sense around the third to last chapter and it is glorious (-ly sad and angsty.) But there is a happy ending and it's soooo worth it. First timetravel!fic I've ever read and it did not disappoint.
35. What is Hidden, What is Seen* by @ExpatGirl.
Thoughts : Wow! This is a pretty long fic but so worth it. The author joked several times about the fact that the fic is longer than her Masters thesis. This is a complete season 11 re write and I LOVE it. It's got some beautifully written OCs, Crowley, Rowena, and a certain someone who needs to come back canonically. (Again, looking at you Spn writers...) This is just written so well and the author was able to put in small Easter eggs the whole way through just like any real season would. Some light smut but nothing too graphic, angst (Hello, my name is angst but you can call me Destiel.) There's even some humour in here too! All in all, an absolutely beautifully written fic.
36. And This, Your Living Kiss*** by @opal_bullets - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts: Okay, first off, insert fangirl screams here! I LOVED this fic. (And not just because I'm a clown {which I totally am} but for some personal reasons I'll elaborate on in a sec...) This is an amazingly written, thought-provoking, and heartwarming fic to read. I loved it especially as it featured poet!Dean which I don't find a lot of. Now, I particularly liked this fic because it really hit home for me. The author described exactly how I feel when it comes to poetry. They described how poets often write best in times of sadness and misery and how we often stop writing because we are destroying ourselves in our own heads and can find nothing to write about when we finally allow ourselves to be happy. The author puts it perfectly in this fic. Not only did the fic make me rethink some of the opinions that I've had on poetry writing for years, but it also inspired me to pick up my pen again after not writing for almost a year and a half. So, thank you to the author for getting me back into writing poetry. (I can't thank you enough! ❤️) Please read this fic yall!  
37. What We Remember by @Tiro - Fanfic.net
Thoughts : (Not Destiel btw) Oh my Chuck. This is soooo sad. Some nice emotionallyscarred!Dean for ya. It starts out so unassuming too! Totally blindsided me with the angst. But also some brotherly love between Sam and Dean. Definitely worth a read. (P. S, I'm writing this from the floor of my room while I sob in fangirl.)
38. More or Less by @schmerzerling - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - Oh my goodness this is such a great fic. Lots of emotional angst and trauma (Just the way I like it.) This fic is so amazing and I loved every minute of it. There are so few stutter!Dean fics out there. This fic is unfinished and hasn't been updated since 2016 but I think it is still worth a read. The point at which the fic is left off has no immediate cliff hangers so I think that the fic can still be appreciated as is. Definitely worth a read.
39. Every Part of the Animal (*?) by @Askance and @Komodobits - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - I hate this fic. I hate how dam* near perfectly written it is. I hate it for the hours I spent crying. I hate it for the hope it gave me before ripping it away like it was a game. This fic was recommended to me on a group chat. I was warned. I was warned that it was a terrifying, horrific, and heartbreaking fic. What did I do?? I read it anyway. (Shocker, I know...) This fic is genuinely terrifying. It's horrific and I have to say, READ THE THE TAGS. Beautifully written, as to be expected by the authors. (Both of whom have featured on this list before.) This is a case fic gone horribly, horrifically, disgustingly wrong. 10/10 would recommend, but be warned: there is NOT a happy ending.
40. Hautley's Bend **** by @ColdInTheStudio - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - Okay! So, first of, if you aren't into long fics this is absolutely NOT the fic for you. A whopping 42 chapters, all masterfully written without a flaw or typo in sight. I LOVE this fic with all my heart. I mean, I'm an absolute clown when it comes to Highschool!AUs, but this fic is just... *chef's kiss. * This is the Highschool!fic you have all been wanting. It's got angst, it's got fluff, emotional trauma, not to mention some fan favourite characters. (Gabriel, Charlie, and Kevin to name just a few.) But you should check out the tags before reading as there's some heavy stuff dealt with in this fic: Dean is not a very nice person at the beginning of this fic. There's also underage drinking and detailed substance abuse. Self harm is also pretty prominent in this fic as well as some A+ John Winchester parenting. But the pain is so, so worth it. Bring tissues!
41. Stay With Me, Sweetheart by @MandalaRose - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - The fluff is too much! I mean, we got firefighter!Dean saving Cas' life! (For Chuck's sake...What more could you ask for?) Also some single father Cas caring for a baby Clair, so some cute daddy!Cas for your troubles. So sweet and heartwarming and a very happy ending. 10/10.
42. Season Z*** by @Castielslostwings, @CR Noble, @cutelittlekitty, @EllenOfOz, @fangirlingtodeath513, @heylittleangel, @jscribbles, @MalMuses, and @son_of_a_bitch_spn_family - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts - So you might notice that there are LOTS of authors listed above and they all came together to create something beautiful. They started publishing chapters right after the season 14 finale and published a chapter every week until the season 15 premier. This is, essentially, a complete season 15 re write. It is masterfully done! Team Free Will vs. a zombie apocalypse. Also, lots and lots of old faces all brought together to save the world one last time. There's some heartbreak, some love, some smut, some fluff. (Also some Samwena to make everything even better.) 22 long chapters, each feeling like an actual episode, made this fic seem like an actual season. (And I wish the writers would steal from this fic's finale and make some... stuff... finally canon.) Truly a timeless Destiel masterpiece.
43. Something about Pinneaples by @lizleenimbus - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - This is an EXTREMELY adorable little DeanCas ficlet. No angst, no Big Sad ™, just sweet sweet, tooth rotting Destiel fluff.
44. Last Night on Earth by @the_communist_unicorn - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- Sooo, I'm sure we all remember that disastrous night out, when the first big ol Apocalypse was gearing up, and Dean found out that Cas was an eons-old virgin... And I'm sure we all remember the disaster that was Cas and a prostitute. Anyways, here's what might have happened if Dean had taken a bit more of a... hands on approach. 😏 The chapters are all episodes that took place after the season five episode "Free To Be You And Me" and how they would have unfolded had Destiel become canon. I will warn you, their is smut (easily skippable) and there is DEFINITELY some angst. The whole thing is capped off with a bittersweet alternate ending to season five finale "Swan Song." I can't say much else without spoiling the ending, but all in all it is a very good fic to read.
45. Painted Angels *** by @WinJennster - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- HOLY FRAHOLY. I love this fic. A beautiful take on the classic trope of "We Had Something Good But I Ruined It, Now I'm Gonna Show Up Twelve Years Later And Try To Fix It... Also You're Engaged To Someone Else. Oops?" But seriously, all joking aside, this is an awesome fic. Painter!Dean x Writer!Cas, a match made in Heaven. (Hehe, get it? Heaven? Sorry I'll leave.) HOWEVER, do please be mindful of the tags. There is mentions of suicide and a couple paragraphs describing a rather grizzly accident to one of the main characters. Also, some lovely A+ John Winchester Parenting ™ and several instances of homophobic language. Still, this is an amazingly written fic and I can't stress how much I enjoyed it.  
46. Forgotten *** by @NorthernSparrow - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- So, first off, I have to talk about the author for a little bit. I have read every single fic by Northern Sparrow and EVERY SINGLE ONE is a friggin masterpiece. The amount of research and backstory that goes into these fics is truly awe-inspiring. Northern Sparrow leaves no plot holes, no mistakes, no typos, nada. Now, the actual fic in question is no exception. While not particularly a Destiel fic, it can be taken as pre slash. There is a sequel, a Destiel version and a non Destiel version, called Flight that I am currently reading as well. (The Destiel version of course 🤡) There is some serious whump and angst here, both physical and emotional. This fic is a canon divergent from around mid season 9, in which there is no Mark of Cain and is a continual re write of the season. Cas goes through a lot in this fic (my poor baby) and Dean and Sam go through some gnarly stuff as well. This is such a good fic, I really can't stress enough. I wish I was half as talented as Northern Sparrow is when it comes to writing stories. I promise, you will NOT be disappointed. 12/10
47. All is safely gathered in by @randomdestielfangirl - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Here is a cute little coda for season 12 episode 6, “Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox.” It’s mostly Mary-centric and her understanding of the Dean/Cas relationship. I’ve always had a soft spot for season 12 codas where Mary sees that Dean and Sam have grown up. (Especially those that have DeanCas in them.)
48. Bring Up the Deep by @deathbanjo - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Here is a pretty cool case!fic with eventual Destiel fluff at the end. The story line is a little heavy and dark, but nothing more than canon-typical violence. This involves Sam, Dean, and a human Cas traveling to the beach to investigate a “sea monster.” Fair warning, there are moments describing Cas’ depression and struggle with figuring out who he is and who he wants to be, but again, not as bad as season 9... (STILL not forgiving the writers for that fiasco.)
49. Hazy Shade of Winter by @GeekPrincess - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Here is yet another case!fic. This one has Team Free Will and Mary teaming up to solve a case in rural Wyoming in the middle of winter. It takes place not too long after Mary’s resurrection and Sam being freed from the British Men of Letters. At first it seems to be just a normal case, but per Winchester fashion, someone ends up getting attacked. Definitely worth a read.  
50. A Little Old Fashioned by @theheartchoice - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Another coda, sorry... (I’ve been going through a faze) This one takes place in the aftermath of 14x13 episode “Lebanon.” I was disappointed that Cas didn’t play that big of a role in the 300th episode. I thought for sure he would considering he WASN’T EVEN IN THE 200TH EPISODE. *Clears throat* Umm, ya. Just some Destiel fluff of Cas taking care of Dean’s wounds the old fashioned way after John’s departure.  
51. Same Deep Water by @braezenkitty - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Team Free Will heads to California to investigate a string of mysterious deaths in a supposedly haunted hotel called the Brookdale Lodge, nestled in the redwoods of Santa Cruz. I particularly enjoyed this fic because it has a definite early SPN vibe. Very creepy and eerie and reminded me a lot of No Exit (2x06) and Playthings (2x11). Also a bit of flirty!Cas and jealous!Dean.  
52. Looking for a Sign* by @emwebb17 - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- THIS FIC... is sooo adorable. Holy Chuck. Dean meets Cas on his bus ride to work and tries to talk with him. Not realizing that Cas is deaf, Dean just assumes he’s being ignored and goes out of his way to get Cas to interact with him. After weeks of no response he finally realizes that Cas can’t hear him and so Dean offers that they start over with their acquaintanceship. Dean meets all of Cas’ friends and they quickly grow closer and closer. They would be perfect for each other except Cas refuses to date hearing people. (Also, bonus points for the pun in the title.)
53. Peanut Butter-Pumpkin Wedding Cake by @Sparseparsley - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- I’ve seen this fic on so many rec lists and I’m so mad that it took me this long to finally read it. Bartender!Dean meets Cas at a bachelor party and they hit it off right away. Then, when Cas’ car breaks down, Dean offers to drive him around to make preparations for the upcoming wedding. Dean has a massive crush, but thanks to Dean’s remarkable ability to jump to conclusions, he thinks that Cas is the one getting married in 2 weeks. Read it just for the sake of watching two idiots dance around each other for weeks on end. They aren’t fooling anyone but themselves.  
54. My Marble Guardian by @LadyDrace - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Bring tissues cuz this one hurts like a season 12 finale. (Heh. I’m hilarious.) Dean is killing himself trying to support little Sam after their parents die. Dean is close to ending it all and takes to talking to the marble angel statue that sits by his mother’s grave. I can’t say much else without spoiling the ending so you’ll have to read it yourself to find out how it ends.  
55. The Law of Equivalent Exchange** by @awed_frog - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Holy crap! This fic is truly amazing. @awed-frog is one of my favourite authors of all time. (And has featured on this rec list before.) This fic follows Castiel caring for his ward, a man who will one day be called Dean Winchester. Follow Cas through Rome, Greece, Paris, Russia, Germany, and more as he guides the impossibly bright soul that Heaven claims will one day save them all. In other words, Cas is sent to earth to watch over Dan, son of Enoch and continues to do so until January 24th, 1979, the day Dean Winchester is finally born. The fic then becomes canon-compliant all the way until season 11, then stems into a canon-divergent for defeating Amara. All from Cas’ POV, we see how he went from being Castiel, Angel of Tears and Thursdays to Cas, Angel of Dean Winchester. 12/10.  
56. A Way Back Home* by @thatpeculiarone - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Another AU with deaf!Cas. Dean is a lonely bakery owner whose past is full of heartbreak and loss. He meets Clair Novak, a mute girl who has no one to talk to, after Jody suggests that they meet. Neither are too keen on the idea at first, but they soon discover a perfect remedy for their predicament. Dean loves to tell stories and Clair loves to hear them. Dean has a story for every pastry in his bakery, and Clair soon realizes that all of Dean’s stories seem to revolve around one person. After finally discovering why Dean always looks sad when no one is looking, hates Valentines Day with a passion, and only ever talks about his best friend in the past tense, Clair is determined to help Dean get the happily-ever-after that he never got to have.  
57. Such Familiar Magic by @saltnhalo - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This fic was inspired by the artwork of very talented @lizleeships here on Tumblr. This is the first witch AU I’ve ever read and it did not disappoint. Cas is a reclusive witch with unimaginable power and Dean is one of the most powerful familiars in North America. Both of our boys have some dark secrets and ghosts from their pasts threaten to separate the two for good.
58. I'm fine by @lizleenimbus - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - Can I just say, WOW. This one is yet another small ficlet to go along with @lizleeships artwork. This fic, despite its short length, is so potent and amazing! The writer effortlessly blends the canon SPN with the world of Destiel and I am LIVING for it. The somber and quiet nature of this fic makes it an excellent read for a late at night fanfic session.
59. The Shadows on his Shoulders by @lizleenimbus (Yes, I know. Two in a row... I don't care.)- Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - Okay, first off, @lizleenimbus has become one of my favourite fic writers EVER. This fic is canon compliant (sort of) for season 6, just when Dean is beginning to figure out that something is wrong with Sam. (In the soul department, that is.. .) This here is a wingfic to end all wingfics. I love the writing, the characterization, the plot, everything, just... *chefs kiss.*
60. The Care and Feeding of Castiel by @MalMuses - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - Soooo, another wingfic!! (No, I don't have a problem. YOU have a problem...) I am a total sucker for wing!grooming DeanCas fics. I just, gosh! I love them so much! I love this fic more every time, no matter how many times I've read it before.  
61. Asunder by @rageprufrock - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- Now, listen here lil clowns. Everyone loves a good "I need a plus one for my brother's wedding" trope and this here fic is the perfect one. And if you don't love it, this is absolutely NOT the fic for you. Sam is getting married and Dean doesn't want to go to it alone, so he enlists the company of his best friend Cas to go with him. Shenanigans and misunderstandings ensue, topped off with a healthy serving of meddling family members. A great rainy afternoon read.
62. Good Call by @sysrae - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - First, please be mindful of the tags as Dean meets Cas by talking him off of a ledge. However, despite the horrible start, this series is still incredibly fluffy and sappy. It also has Therapist!Benny being exasperated by Dean and Cas' utter stupidity around each other. This is a very heartwarming fic that balances the angst with fluff perfectly.
63. 'Tis but a Crush by @Annie D - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - Here is an awesome little meet cute modern AU fic! Cas notices that a man with startling green eyes stares at him whenever they are together. Cas is interested immediately but the green eyed man seems too shy to approach Cas. Fluff and awkward moments soon follow.
64. Where There's Smoke, Theres Fire** by @OsirisApollo - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - So, first of, I am absolutely in LOVE with Firefighter!Dean. Cas is an ER doctor who meets Dean after the fire alarm in his apartment building goes off. Cas manages to make a fool of himself but is comforted by the fact that he'll never see the attractive firefighter again. Boy, was Cas wrong. The two men seem to run into each other practically everywhere, and no matter how hard Cas tries, he always seems to embarrass himself with every meeting. This fic was responsible for making me squeal aggressively at 2 AM. 10/10 Destiel fluff.
65. Forget - Me - Not -Blues*** by @noangelsinthegarrison - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This is a fic that I go back and read over and over again. It’s got a perfect balance of fluff and angst, misunderstandings, and a healthy dose of clueless, meddling family and friends. Bottom line is, Sam is getting married and Dean is going to be the best man. He’s thrilled, until he finds out that Castiel Novak is Jess’ honorary Maid of Honour. Dean and Cas had a... something or other back in high school. Dean would ask to be friends again but Cas is intent on pretending that they never knew each other in the first place. Misunderstandings, awkward moments, and an obscene amount of embarrassment ensues, no thanks at all to the “tradition” surrounding the Maid of Honour and the Best Man. 10/10.  
66. Ignore the Butterflies: Best Friend Advice from Dean Winchester by @impatient14 - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Okay, this one has practically every romcom trope out there... AND I AM LIVING FOR IT. (*Clears throat) Ya, soooo. Doctor Cas and Firefighter Dean are friends. Best friends actually. Totally platonic bros. A bromance for the ages. The broist bros to ever bro. That’s it. No homosexual feelings to be found here. None at all... Or so Dean tries to convince himself.  
67. Prosopagnosia by @misseditallagain - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Man, this fic is really adorable and quite heartbreaking at times. Cas has a cognitive disorder that means he can’t ever remember faces. He’s given up on finding love until he meets one Dean Winchester, but he’s afraid to tell his hot date the truth about his condition. Assumptions are made and misunderstandings threaten to tear the two apart for good, but maybe there’s a chance for these two after all.  
68. Midnight Blues AKA To Hell and Back (Courtesy of Sig Sauer) by @outofminutes - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- As we all know, I am a glutton for damaged!Dean being cared for by Cas. Dean is a war veteran. He’s been discharged for five years but he hasn’t dared to go back home until now. He’s not the same person he was all those years ago and the constant haunting of horrors past threaten to tear him apart. Thankfully, he’s got a loving family and a new friend (Hehe. Guess who. Sorry, I’ll leave) to help him pick up the pieces.  
69. Scars by @lemonsorbae - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Okay, first off: WOOOO 69! NOICE! OKay, I’m done... So, this fic stands out to me for the writers unique take on some popular tropes. Dean is a tattoo artist with green hair (Insert Priestly from Ten Inch Hero here.) and Cas is the stereotypical hipster. They don’t get along very well at the beginning of this fic. (Which is a HUGE understatement btw). Then, a drunken party leads to certain... unsavory actions, and both swear that it will never happen again. And that’s a total lie. Lots of smutty times in this one so be warned, also references to past trauma for both of our favourite boys so please mind the tags before reading.  
70. The One Thing You Can’t Lose by @MajorEnglishEsquire - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This is just a cuddly, tooth-rottingly fluffy little ficlet for some happy DeanCas feels. Warning: Do not read in public place for there WILL be squeals.  
71. The Ugly Sweater Verse by @nerdylittledude - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- I know, I know. Everyone who’s ever read Destiel fanfiction has heard of the Ugly Sweater Verse. I don’t care! I’m reccing it anyway. A newly human Castiel wants to experience every holiday to its fullest, dragging Dean and Sam (But mostly Dean) along with him. This is an AU for after season 5 in which Sam is alive, Cas is human, and Dean finally gets his head out of his ass. (With a little... okay a lot of help from the rest of Team Free Will.) This is an awesome feel-good Verse that is always nice to read after a bad day. There is a prequel to this Verse that is stand-alone, but you don’t have to read it to get the rest of the Verse. (Also, if you’re only looking for fluffy times then I wouldn’t recommend reading the prequel. You have been warned.)
72. Cats and Tats by @Jemariel - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This here is the quintessential Coffee Shop AU that no one asked for (Well.. I asked for it. I’m lonely dammit)  Cas owns a coffee shop that is right next door to a tattoo shop owned by our own Dean Winchester. Dean doesn’t like the pastel coffee shop because it totally ruins his badassery vibe, and Cas doesn’t need another distraction like Dean, and poor Sam never gets a moments peace.  
73. Moving On by @BruisedCastiel - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Castiel is a witch who reads fortunes for a living. One day he gets a customer named Dean whose reading has a shocking outcome. Not too much later, Dean’s ghost comes looking for Castiel seeking answers. This fic starts out pretty sad and things look hopeless for Dean and Cas but don’t worry! There’s a happy ending.  
74. Into the Fire** by @NorthernSparrow- Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- I’ve mentioned on this list before that NorthernSparrow is my favourite fic writer of all time. And their work has been featured several times on this list before. Now, be warned. This fic gets VERY dark VERY quickly. Dean, shortly after the Mark of Cain is removed, is cursed and he kills Cas. The trauma of the Mark, the guilt he feels for killing Cas, and the looming threat of the Darkness sends Dean into a mental breakdown. Sam, mourning the loss of Cas himself, is left to try and put together what is left of Dean’s sanity AND to come up with a plan to defeat the Darkness. Sam and Dean, with the help of several allies, come together to save the universe once and for all. This is a full AU starting sometime in early season 11 and finishes all the way through the end of the season. There is a lot of sadness and guilt in this fic, so please be careful going into it. Bring tissues. I cried gratuitously throughout this fic. But don’t worry because THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING. Bonus points for TrueForm!Cas. 15/10.  
75. There’d Be No Distance by @imogenbynight - Archive Of  Our Own.  
Thoughts- Just a short, feel-good, fluffy Christmas fic for ya. Cas is lonely on New Years because he assumes that he won’t be welcome to the family get-together. But don’t worry! Dean sets the record straight with his angel. (Well...Not straight but... you know what I mean.)  
76. Imperfect Proposals by @Fallen_Angel_Meg - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Okay, so, Cas is a total jerk at the beginning of this fic. He’s demanding, arrogant, cruel, and just rude to practically everyone who works at his firm. Dean is his new assistant and needs this job if he’s ever going to make it as an architect, but Castiel isn’t making it easy for him. Things get more complicated when Cas is threatened with being deported so he says that Dean is his fiance. Dean isn’t on board until Cas threatens to fire him if he doesn’t play along. Now they just  have to make it through Sam and Jess’ wedding. Easy... Right?  (There IS a happy ending it just takes these two idiots a while to get there.)
77. The Novak Hickey Mystery by @FagurFiskur - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This is just a short ficlet involving Professor Novak’s mysterious relationship and some VERY nosy students. Nice and quick happy-go-lucky fic with no angst and plenty of tooth rotting fluff.  
78. Come Back* by @lizleenimbus - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- This is yet another short, canon-verse ficlet for you guys. (I know these last couple fics have been pretty short but I have been reading so many long fics recently that I’ve needed a bit of a mental break from the stress of a slow burn lol) Anyways, this is one of my favourite authors. Literally, every single thing by this author is a freaking gold mine of Destiel goodness. This particular ficlet chronicles Dean and Cas sharing an intimate conversation after a particularly nasty hunt. I love these types of fics in which Dean and Cas actually Use There Words™ and talk like Grown Ups™. (Never happens canonically so I’ll take what I can get. Looking at you SPN writers.) ALSO, this has artwork also by  @lizleeships! I swear, this individual is too frickin talented. 10/10!
79. And then there were Six* by @lizleenimbus - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- I know, I know. Two in a row by the same author... This author rocks okay! (Seriously, go check them out) This right here is a wing fic my friends. But not the type we are used to. It involves a bashful Cas, flustered Dean (And I know we ALL love a flustered Dean), and a very amused little brother. I love this ficlet especially as it is a beautiful take on the fact that Seraphim are supposed to have six wings.  
80. Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day by @awed_frog - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Here’s another fic from a “rec list favourite” author of mine. This is a pretty cool case fic with an awesome monster of the week. (Japanese folklore at its finest.) A creature manifests itself as a person’s true love. Sam sees Jess, Cas sees Dean, Dean sees Cas (And has a freakout along the way.)  
81. Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) by @sobsicles - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Hoooo Boy! Talk about an angst fest. Set sometime in early season 15, Dean and Cas get their memories wiped and Dean is convinced that they are serial killers on the run from some tall guy named Sam. Things get awkward when they get their memories back, as they also remember what the two of them did when they were on the run together. Dean talks out of his ass, Cas gets angry (rightfully so), Sam and Eileen just want a moments peace, and LOTS of bad blood gets let out out into the open for the first time in years. This fic was hard to read because, true to Winchester fashion, Dean and Cas’ communication during this fic is TERRIBLE. Just when you think the two of them are about to hash things out, one of them goes and says something stupid and they have to start all over again. I definitely recommend this fic, but be prepared to brave some hardcore angst before Dean and Cas get their happy ending.  
82. Lost in Words, Hand in Hand* by @hallowgirl - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This is the fluffiest fluffy fic to ever fluff! (Try saying that 10 times fast.) Dean tells Cas that he never got read to as a child, so Cas takes it upon himself to read to Dean. It was supposed to be a one time thing, but the two enjoy the time together more than they thought they would. Plus, there’s so many books to read, and laying in the same bed is just practical. That’s it. Just guys being dudes. And if Dean happens to fall asleep on Cas’ shoulder? Well, that’s not his fault at all. (Also, bonus points for Sam being the typical smug little bro who lets Dean know that he and Cas aren’t as subtle as they think they are.) 
83. La Hantise** by @quiettewandering - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Okay so, I have been waiting to read this fic for FOREVER. I read the first couple chapters a long time ago (back when it was still a WIP) and I immediately fell in love. I decided, rather painfully, to stop reading and save it to my Marked For Later until it was finished. I have a hard time when it comes to WIPs because I forget what I read during the previous update and I often times lose interest until I can read it all in one go. I couldn’t wait to read it and I was not disappointed! This fic is BEAUTIFULLY written and the story seems to come to life before your eyes. This is the Destiel we all fell in love with; Two damaged and broken beings finding peace within each other. Warning: these two are complete idiots and there’s a lot of pining and some pretty hefty angst. Castiel’s backstory is truly, completely and utterly, tragic. Dean’s isn’t a picnic either I suppose, but it’s Cas past that comes back to haunt Dean and Cas in this fic. The author seamlessly interweaves the reality with the make believe and it sucks the reader into the story effortlessly. 14/10. A Destiel classic.  
84. Cheers, Angel Eyes by @wannaliveindeansdimples - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- As I’m sure you all know by now, I am in love with bartender! and barista!Dean. This fic has a healthy dose of bartender!Dean for you. In this fic, Castiel, known to Dean only as Angel Eyes, is a regular at the bar that Dean owns. The two hit it off during the few conversations that they have and decide to give themselves a chance. Very minimal angst and only just a small bit of pining from Dean’s POV. A very good, quick, none painful read.  
85. best friends without benefits by @lizbobjones - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This fic is set between the end of season 11 and the beginning of season 12 and is canon divergent for the most part. This one is pretty funny and enjoyable to read, if only for the sake of poor Sam and Mary dealing with two complete idiots. Dean lets slip to Cas that he finds Cas driving Baby “hot” and Cas admits that he has known of Dean’s attraction for years. Cas proposes he and Dean enter a Friends With Benefits relationship and Dean just can’t say no. But Dean just digs himself deeper and deeper into trouble after he mistakes Cas’ preposition as a rejection of deeper feelings. Misunderstandings happen, Dean is a big baby, Cas is clueless, and Sam is stuck in the middle.  
87. Shifter by @@LadyLini - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- There are tons and tons of fics out there where Dean and Cas are the bumbling idiots of the story (Yes, just like in the show) and Sam is the one who has everything figured out. But this fic looks at the idea of Sam being the one out of the loop and Dean and Cas being the ones who actually know what the heck is going on. This is a cool AU in which Sam went to Stanford, John Winchester is still an ass hole, and Destiel is canon. This was a cool take on how the events of the show would have taken place if Sam wasn’t there and Cas had been the one to save Dean from Azazel.  
89. diamond star halo by @jad - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This is a wonderfully light-hearted little fic in which Cas possesses Dean while his vessel recovers from the attack dog spell. We also get some great brotherly banter, Cas and Dean bickering like an old married couple, and other Team Free Will shenanigans. Also, poor Sam.  
90. like moses and batman and james dean by @saltyfeathers - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Oooohh boy. This fic is quite the can of worms for me. Here, the author gives us a more detailed account of Dean’s past of turning tricks in order to raise little Sammy, and how this past is affecting his current relationship with our Wayward Angel. This is a heavier fic and please be mindful of the tags (Yes, John Winchester’s A+ parenting is one of them...) But it DOES have a happy ending.  
91. any port in the storm by @mishcollin - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- If you are looking for a case!fic with Dean and Cas pretending to be dating on a couple’s cruise then you have come to the right place. I love this fic specifically for the care and detail of the case. Even more, there are lots and lots of OCs in this fic and every single one of them has their own personality and backstory. Be warned: there are lots of arguments between the elder Winchester and newly human Castiel. (Most of them because Dean is a big ol idiot in this fic and keeps the possible location of Cas’ fallen grace from him because of his Winchester Fear Of Abandonment ™)
92. Sunset Plaza by @LoveIsNotAVictoryMarch - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Dang! This is a great fic. Cas is practically married to his work and never goes on vacations, so his loving brother Gabriel decides to book him a weekend at a resort. Cas ends up having to share his room with one Dean Winchester the first night due to a problem with the server at the hotel. But they manage to make the best of it (if ya know what I mean...) Everything is great until its time to go home. They could make it work, but our lovable idiots can’t let anything be that easy. (Extra points for a little dash of Sabriel and meddling Gabriel.)
93. Longing by @whelvenwings - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This is a really fluffy fic set in canonverse. Dean and Cas finally have a discussion that has been long in the making, ending years of mutual pining. The tone of this fic is very sweet and is a great, feel-good, nighttime read. Give me Destiel and Impala confessions and I’m one happy clown.  
94. Hallelujah! Noel! Be it Heaven or Hell by @EnochianThings - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- EnochianThings is one of my favourite fic writers of all time! I can’t believe its taken me this long to rec this fic. This is an angsty holiday fic in which Cas confesses his feelings first and Dean is a total assbutt about it. Dean is at a loss after he realizes that he might of just driven away the one thing that could have made him the happiest: Cas. (Oh, don’t get me started on a rejected Cas... My heart can’t bear his sultry seraphim sadness.)
95. I’ll Cross the Sky for You by @superhoney - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- I am going to start this off by saying that I wasn’t really into this fic at first. I had found it through tags alone and it sat in my Marked for Later for months. I liked the tags, but I wasn’t sure about the premise of the fic. I could NOT have been more wrong. This fic was absolutely adorable. Barista!Dean meets Captain!Castiel... but in space! (With space ships and everything!) Anyways, very adorable, very cute. Definitely worth checking out.  
96. Nepeta Cataria* by @thepopeisdope - Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- I would literally give anything for there to be more Witch!Cas x Familiar!Dean fics out there. This is one of my favourite AUs and I feel like it is so lacking compared to many of the others. In this fic, Cas is a lonesome witch who plants catnip to prevent mosquitoes from being in his garden. Little did he know that it would also attract Dean, a powerful familiar, who just so happens to be the love of Cas’ life. (Familiar!Dean is almost always a dog in the fics I find so it was great to get to see him as a cat. Honestly, Cat Familar!Dean might be my favourite.)
97.Texas State of Mind** by @palominopup – Archive of Our Own. 
Thoughts- This is an awesome fic with country singer Castiel Novak meeting Dean Winchester, a man who was once an award-winning country music star. Dean has a complicated past, as he didn’t leave the industry on a good note (Compliments of John Winchester’s A+ Parenting™) He’s sworn off ever singing again and is content to look after his horses for the rest of his life... That is, until Cas Novak wants to sing a duet. This is an awesome fic with lots of familiar SPN faces. It takes Dean and Cas a little while to come around for each other, but once they do, they’re a fluffy force to be reckoned with.
98. In Real Life by @cloudyjenn – Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This is a hilarious little meetcute in which Dean has been communicating with this guy online... They’ve never done anything but exchange messages and texts, never even seen each other’s faces, but Dean is pretty sure he’s in love with him. Sam decides that such a relationship is completely pointless if the two will never meet so he introduces his brother to Castiel. Dean thinks he’s hot and would totally go out with him, but he just can’t bring himself to like someone other than his online mystery man. But Cas is fine with Dean not being interested, mostly because there’s this guy he met online who, even though they’ve never met... Aaaand ya. You all can guess where this is going hahaha. But it gets even better when Sam realizes that Dean and Cas are each other’s mystery online crushes and decides to have a little fun with it. 
99. Rentboy by @Naoe – Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Dean Winchester’s life hasn’t been pretty, but he’s happy with it because at least he got Sammy the life and opportunities he wanted. Dean’s life takes an interesting turn when he meets Castiel at a benefit. Dean, ashamed of his job, comes up with a new name and a new life story for this strange man. Somehow, the two form an unlikely bond, Dean supporting Castiel as his wife is dying. But the lie Dean told is still there and he has no idea how to fix it. And once Castiel’s wife is gone, the lie is the only thing keeping them from truly being together. Castiel isn’t in love with Dean Winchester... at least, not the real one. Needless to say, life isn’t easy for a Rent boy in the 80s. 
100. Silver and Cold by @superhoney – Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- Silver and Cold is an amazing AU in which Castiel is a wayward hunter afraid of settling down and a dark past that haunts him everywhere he goes. While on a case investigating a possible werewolf attack, Cas runs into Dean Winchester, a recluse who lives up in the woods of Sydnam, Maine. He’s got a bad temper and a past to rival Cas’. If it weren't for the alarming amount of evidence pointing towards Dean being the werewolf, Cas thinks Dean might just be more kind than he lets people believe. 
101. Any Little Heartbreak* by @followthattardis – Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This was a fic that I started reading a long time ago, but somehow lost and couldn’t find it again. But I finally found it and the joy I felt was unparalleled. (My little clown heart could barely take it) Dean is a heart surgeon. He’s frickin good at it to... Maybe even one of the best in the US. He knows everything there is to know about the human heart. (“Anatomically speaking”) He’s just transferred to a new hospital and the head nurse is totally hot. And Dean also happens to make a fool of himself in front of said nurse on his very first day at the hospital. From there, it seems that despite his best efforts, Cas doesn’t like Dean at all. (And EVERYONE likes Dean so, what the hell?) Dean thinks his crush will go away if he can just get all that tension out of his system... Boy was he wrong. I LOVE this fic and I am so glad I was able to find it again. I especially liked how all the hospital staff were all familiar faces. 😊 
102. What happened between me and Cas* by @AthenaErrata – Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- This right here?? Broke me. BROKE ME I TELL YOU. (*Clears throat) This is a coda set just after 11x19 episode The Chitters, in which Dean finally tells Sam everything. The secret kisses, stolen touches. The betrayals, the lies, the guilt. Everything. All the things involving Cas that Dean promised himself he would never tell another soul. Dean retells events from seasons 4 to 11 and gives a bit more info into just why he and Cas can never truly be happy together. The fic continues into a canon-compliant tale all the way until a beautiful happy reunion set in 13x06 episode Tombstone. 
103. True Faces* by @Tibbins – Archive of Our Own.  
Thoughts- I'm pretty sure that this author has featured on this rec list a couple times before. Tibbins is one of my favourite SPN writers of all time. This is a trilogy verse in which Dean, Sam, and Cas tell some truths that should have been shared a LONG time ago. In the first one, titled “Behind the Mask”, Dean convinces Sam to open up about some things that has been bothering him and Sam finally sheds some light on what it was like being tortured by Lucifer. The second, titled “In the Mind”, follows Dean as he opens up to Sam following the conversation from the first fic. He tells Sam more of what happened in Hell and why he will never really be able to wipe the blood off his hands. The last fic (Which is pre slash Destiel) titled “Under the Skin”, Cas gets to discuss with Dean the things that haunt the angel’s mind. The last one is especially painful... Though the two finally admit their feelings for one another, Dean explains to Cas why he just isn’t ready yet. It’s sad, but it has a hopeful ending.
104. In My Time of Vinyl by @freclesarechocolate - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- First off, damn! This fic is one to pull at your heartstrings. I am a a shameless lover of hurt!Dean and this fic delivers beautifully. Cas, driven to seek shelter from the rain, enters the record shop owned by Dean. Dean is sweet and offers shelter for the night and Cas ends up promising to come back to buy some records. The two create a fast friendship but Cas ends up noticing some things that are a little off with Dean. He’s always smiling, but sometimes the smiles can’t cover up the sadness in his eyes. He doesn’t talk about his family or his past, and he never seems to have a lot of food in his fridge. This is a story of coming to terms with mental health, friendship, love, trust, and letting others help you. I absolutely recommend this fic! Quick warning, however, Dean has a very troubled life and his story is no picnic ride. Be sure to check out the tags before reading.
105. Hunter’s Caress*** by @Ltleflrt - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- This is probably in my top five most favourite Destiel fics of all time. I have read this fic all the way through at least twice now. The story follows Castiel Jameson, a Pinkerton Detective, who is on a quest to revenge his murdered brother. He seeks the help of the outlaw Dean Winchester, a dangerous man who supposedly has enough blood on his hands to fill an ocean. Cas saves Dean and his brother Sam from being hung in exchange for their assistance in tracking the rat bastard who killed his brother. The two start out as enemies, then to begrudging allies, friend, and maybe even something more. Cas tries to keep his mind on business, but he aches to learn the feeling of a Hunter’s Caress. 20/10. Be warned though, this fic gets pretty gritty. The world of hunters and outlaws is messy and dangerous. This fic deals with death, injury, rape, and worse. Be careful before heading in but I assure you, this fic will not disappoint.
106. Love Bites* by @malmuses - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- MalMuses is one of the best fic writers out there. A true legend in the SPN fandom! This fic is one of my favourite as it features Creature!Dean x Human!Castiel. In this fic, Cas takes in a bat that his cat got a hold of. Cas knows that there’s something special about this bat. He seems to understand human speech and loves hamburgers. But even stranger, his eyes are the exact same green as the cute mechanic who comes into the coffee shop sometimes.
!107-117. All of these are just codas set for post 15x18 and for post finale/finale rewrites. They are pretty much very similar. Dean breaks down and Sam is left to pick up the pieces. Most, if not all, have happy/hopeful endings.
107. Everything is Blue  by @malmuses - AO3
108. Tag to “Despair” by @Alvinola- AO3
109. Time by @Chipper99- AO3
110. When It All Crashes Down by @spacegirlstuff - AO3
111. Through the clouds by @judithhandronicus - AO3
112. Because it is by @60r3d0m - AO3
113. the burden of belonging by @Newtondale - AO3
114. Counting the days by @WanderUntilLost - AO3
115. The Weight of Silence by @jscribbles - AO3
116. As It Should Be by @Loser_Angel_666 - AO3
117. When you have a home by @Firebog - Archive of Our Own.
118. What’s Left Unsaid (Is Finally Said) by @A_Place_To_Roam - Archive of Our Own. 
119. When you have a future by @Firebog - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- This is a lovely fic in which Sam succeeds in closing Hell and Castiel is able to board up Heaven. Everyone lives happily-ever-after. No looming Apocalypse, no higher power, no fate. Found family is the only thing that remains. But Dean is left with this strange feeling rolling around in his gut. Like he’s waiting for the next disaster to happen. Meanwhile Sam learns about dog poetry from Castiel, Team Free Will gets pet rabbits (named after porn stars), Dean finally gets his head out of his ass, and Sam learns something shocking about his older brother.
120. Remarkable by @shiphitsthefan - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- Castiel’s the new elementary school teacher in town. One of his classmates, one Ben Braeden, has a father who is just as annoying as was promised. Dean’s “helpful” books and readings he brings Castiel about being more socially aware get easily dismissed as overly-involved-parent-crap. But that all changes after Castiel reads Ben Braeden’s essay assignment.
121. (Dis) Affection by @justkeeponwriting - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts - This fic!!!!! This fic is soo frickin adorable. Dean and Cas’ nosy friends set them up on a blind date. Neither of them is very happy so they devise an epic plan of revenge. Act like the most disgustingly in love couple ever and then have a terrible public breakup. Hopefully their friends will feel so guilty that they never try to set the two up again. The plan goes amazingly. Dean and Cas find it easy to fake being a newly in love couple... Almost too easily.
122. Uniform of a Winchester******** by @monsterfuckerdean - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- Its fics like these that I think set the SPN fandom apart from others. The thought put into these works makes them so real, so painstakingly relatable, make the characters come to life both on screen and in words. This is a heartbreaking character study of Dean Winchester. The author gives the reader a glimpse into the backstory behind Dean’s jewelry. The skull bracelet given to him by Missouri, the ring given to him by a childhood friend named Lee Webb, and more. This fic will break your heart. And if you’re like me, you won’t be able to find another fic that comes anywhere close to it. (If you do, please give it to me.) I’ve read this fic many times over. I take this fic as canon, completely and utterly. Dean Winchester is written so perfectly that the writers of the show are frickin jealous.
123. In Someone Else’s Life by @blue_morning - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- A classic Destiel wedding trope! Cas, along with his obnoxious-but-lovable brother Gabriel, accidentally crash a stranger’s wedding. Cas meets Jessica, the lucky bride, along with Sam, the best man. But its the groom with beautiful green eyes that Castiel can’t take his eyes off of. Assumptions are made, embarrassment ensues, and maybe... just maybe, happily ever afters do really happen.
124. Nobody’s Fault But Mine by @peanutbutterjelly-pie - Archive of Our Own.
Thoughts- Oh! the fluff! Its killing me. Cas meets Dean and Sam Winchester. Both ridiculously attractive and both total sweethearts. But Castiel finds himself falling for Sam, the older brother with the beautiful green eyes. Too bad he’s getting married to Jessica in a few weeks... Tee hee hee. It’s glorious.
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verannaca · 4 years
Text
so I saw Frozen 2 for the fourth time
i have so many questions.
there’s a relatively negative (and very long) review beneath the cut so pls read at your own risk. and, of course, spoilers.
I’ve seen Frozen 2 four times now and yikes. I’d kinda hoped it would get better with each viewing, but it’s somehow worse??? I really loved the first movie; it literally changed my life in an incredibly drastic way (don’t ask) but it had been very important to me over the past six years, and...I’m so disappointed.
My initial reaction was disappointment, and I should’ve stuck with it. Like, wtf was that? But some parts were also really well done? It left me so conflicted lol
PROS
Vuelie was a good way to open the film; I quite liked the nostalgia :’)
The intro scene in general was good; I liked seeing more of their parents, although idk what their father was thinking telling them such a tale before bed lmao seems like some shit my mother would do
All is Found is my favourite non-depressing song in the movie, and it opens it beautifully. ERW has a wonderful voice.
The animation really is beautiful; it looks so realistic. Specifically the clouds and the one scene of the waves crashing over the pine trees. It looked amazing!
The music is good but not great. FTFTIF is my favourite; it’s so catchy and cheery. I really liked TNRT, and SY is perfect, but these songs just weren’t as catchy as the ones in Frozen?? I’m thankful for AURORA tho, that was a lovely gift.
Bruni was absolutely adorable (even tho he was an obvious cash-grab for merch lol), 10/10 love Bruni. Bruni + Elsa = even better.
Anna looked absolutely breathtaking throughout the entire movie; the redesign they did animation-wise really works in her favour, and now she’s rocking those Emilia Clarke eyebrows which is a hell yes from me. Her final look gave me all the feels; I can’t say I’m a huge fan of the dress and hairstyle?? it seemed a bit too not Anna, but at the same time, it showed her growth and maturity and I’m very happy with that.
As dark as it was, the shipwreck scene was beautiful. It was handled beautifully; their reactions were devastating. There is a huge con here, but I’ll save that for later.
The ocean battle was really neat. The water looked so good, and Elsa looks good wet???
The whole scene in Ahtohallan was well done; I liked the memories. I wish Anna had been there; she deserved to see her history, too, and it wasn’t fair that Elsa got that spotlight once again.
Everything after Elsa freezing was absolutely breathtaking as well. Anna’s reactions, the song, the scenery-- it was tragically beautiful.
Kristoff had the two best lines in the ENTIRE movie: “I’m here. What do you need?” and “It’s okay. My love is not fragile.” It’s so rare to see a good, supportive relationship in tv/movies, be it heterosexual or homosexual, it doesn’t happen. It’s so rare. So this was a beautiful break from that; the faith he had in her was amazing. Thank u. the real mvp.
The scene with Anna as she accepts the fate of her future; as she takes in a breath and realises/accepts that her home is gone, and her blood family is gone. Everything about it was perfect. You could feel her emptiness. Poor baby needed a hug :(
I liked that Kristoff also hugged Elsa when she returned; it showed that they were friends, which is really important for Anna tbh
I think that’s it for pros??? Now for the cons.
CONS:
Gonna start this off simple: the plot was weak. This is unfortunately not an unpopular opinion; it made no sense. It was too convoluted to the point where nothing was explained.
The pacing was off, and it was ridiculously anti-climactic. The layout in general seemed a bit weird tbh I could definitely sit here and justify all of it, but I shouldn’t have to.
They gave us no reason to gaf about this voice that Elsa was hearing. How long had she been hearing it for? Why was she so drawn to it? Why didn’t she think she was just hearing things? Or maybe she did at one point and then realised she wasn’t crazy? 
There was almost no character development. Elsa was the same as she was in Frozen, but this time, it was just annoying. She never learned or grew. Anna was demoted to a clingy side-character even though she’s the protagonist; I have no words for how frustrating this was to watch. I miss the Kristanna bickering. I liked their dynamic overall; I understand their insecurities and lack of ability to communicate because of it, and I liked how non-toxic they were. Overall, they did love and trust each other; they believed in and supported each other, even though they had a falling out (again and again) and were separated for most of the film (again, wtf?) EA had no development together, and honestly, they were annoying asf as a duo. There was no communication and no understanding. I will say that Anna’s fear and frustration throughout the entire movie was absolutely 100% understandable and sensible; she’d already lost too much before, and wasn’t prepared to lose anything else. I just wish she’d been portrayed a bit differently??? And it would’ve been nice if Elsa had stopped for, like, two minutes to be like, “hey, are you okay, you seem clingy and worried” but instead she just kept running and didn’t gaf.
It was over dramatic for the sake of plot, when it didn’t have to be. Elsa didn’t have to continuously try and push Anna away “for her protection.” They absolutely could’ve done the vast majority of things together. Fuck, they could’ve gone to the dark sea together. Anna could’ve stayed on the beach while Elsa tackled the Nokk. Then when Anna saw that Elsa was perfectly capable of protecting herself, they could’ve parted ways then and done whatever it was they needed to do. Or, Elsa could’ve taken Anna to Ahtohallan?? They may have discovered there that Anna couldn’t enter, but then they’d be given the opportunity to communicate, and Anna would’ve at least been included, since this was her history, too.
If this is a movie about two sisters, why the ever loving fuck is it all about Elsa and her origins? What about Anna’s origins? They were her parents, too. Sure, we ask “why does Elsa have magic,” but why doesn’t Anna have magic? Why was Elsa the “gift”? Why is Anna’s superpower “love”?? And why is that “superpower” only valid when it’s in regards to Elsa? Why is Anna so strong, physically? Emotionally? Personally? Is it just her? Why isn’t she an element, too? What’s with this bridge bullshit? Why the fuckkkk is Elsa the “fifth spirit” when she’s ice and ice is literally just water? I have so many questions.
How the heck was Iduna Northuldra? Did she become “whiter” because she remained inside a castle for twenty years? Or was she always “white passing”? Or was she adopted into the forest? Who are her parents? Did anybody miss her when she ran off to the kingdom? Her scarf was from “one of [their] oldest families” and yet nobody seemed to know who she was? And what do you mean “oldest families”? Are there no remaining members of that family? Nobody who was missing her? Nobody who would’ve recognised her daughters who are literally carbon-copies of her????
The shipwreck scene and the following scene pissed me off soooo much in the theatre lol First, it really was beautiful how they did it, but the interactions felt out of character. Elsa brought up the memories of their parents’ demise without consoling Anna at all. Not only did she just do it without at least a warning, she then proceeded to leave her behind in her own fit. Which, okay, yes, to an extent that makes sense; she was over-ridden by guilt. But those were Anna’s parents too. Elsa was all she had, and Elsa left her behind. I just- AND THEN in this moment of severe grief and horror, as these terrible things were revealed, Anna was pushed away again to be left on her own to deal with things alone. She’d JUST sacrificed her own feelings for Elsa, and Elsa’s response was to shove her away. WHY. I just??? hello??? Like, Elsa does care about Anna, right? That’s canon? So why tf would they write her like this?? jfc
Every single new character was wasted potential. Mattias above all else was very interesting, and should’ve had at least ten minutes more screentime??? I liked the scene of him and Anna discussing whatever, but there should’ve been more. They both cared more about Arendelle than anyone; they were both sworn to protect. There could’ve been more of an on-screen relationship there. (and don’t fucking come at me with your gross-ass ships please, tyvm). Honeymaren and Ryder were there for ??? merchandise? A reason for Elsa to stay behind? Queer-baiting??? I don’t get it. They did,,, nothing. Yelena? Did nothing. Why do these name-characters do nothing?? What’s the point???
This was advertised as a “big adventure” but had hardly any adventure. Frohana was apart for most of the damn movie, the action scenes had little consequences, the “climax” was ??? what, Elsa freezing? Who cares?? It’s obvious she’s going to come back. The wave heading for Arendelle??? Yeah, that would’ve been a good climax if it actually did any damage. But no, I guess Elsa can teleport now? aight. and now she gets to play hero again even though she didn’t do shit
The plot(?) was very predictable, and didnt really have a twist. Old white guy kills innocent POC. Okay. That’s real life, yeah? It’s shit; it happens, but why was this whole movie based around that? Was it a political statement? We don’t really need more political movies these days??? People are aware, and things are shit as is; idk it just felt forced. But this is a v controversial subject so imma shut up lol
THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES. Unless you’re Anna. Then you suffer severely cuz,,, fuck her, right? The entire cave thing (as beautiful and needed as it was) could’ve been prevented entirely if Elsa had just fucking communicated. But instead, Anna had to suffer again in such a severe way. Her feelings DID have consequences; they effected her severely and even influenced wreckless behaviour. But then?? it’s all over. And suddenly, it doesn’t matter. Suddenly, who cares? Elsa returns and is (for some unforeseen reason) magically forgiven. This ISN’T HOW SISTERS ARE. If my sister pulled half the shit Elsa did, the first thing she’d be greeted with is a slap across the face and a very loud “fuck you.” THEN she’d get a hug and some tears. You don’t fuck with people’s emotions like that. And the fact that there were no serious consequences is infuriating.
Anna becomes Queen without context. Did she want to be queen? Did she suggest it? Did Elsa decided “eh fuck it i’m bored, your turn” and just dump it on her? Anna is a free-spirit. Yes, she was absolutely devoted to her kingdom; her people always came first; she was an incredibly loving and selfless princess, but was she truly prepared to give up that freedom to be Queen? I think she fits the role beautifully; she was absolutely born to rule. But is she happy? Or is she yet again cleaning up Elsa’s mess, since that seems to be all she does?
Why did Elsa stay in the forest? Is it because she felt like she belonged with the spirits? With the people? Away from civilisation? All of the above? None of the above? And how did that conversation go with Anna? How did she explain; “hey, I know I died and fucked you up and promised that we’d always stay together, but I’ve decided I’m gonna leave you behind again and stay here with these people I barely know.” Did Anna object, or did she see the positives of being away from someone so toxic???? It makes no senseeeee, they were so good together in the first movie; it all feels so out of character. Both of them feel out of character.
There were few (very few) moments in which they really were like themselves:
The charades scene.
“You think I’m c R A Z Y?”
Head tilts with Bruni.
Anna laughing at Elsa’s braid-stache.
Elsa making toys for children.
The pleasant Kristanna scenes at the beginning.
Anna’s anger scenes.
Even Elsa’s personal drama???
but that’s it? I’ve seen it four times in theatre, and a few times online (though mostly in pieces) so I don’t think I missed anything. Perhaps I’m blinded by the frustration that this film caused. Overall:
The plot was weak.
The animation was beautiful.
Kristanna wasn’t the Kristanna we truly know?
Elsa was dramatic and annoying because she had no development.
Anna was demoted to a clingy side-character and was given a half-assed purpose.
The music was meh.
There was too much and yet somehow not enough.
It was a mess.
Six years. SIX. I-
ugh.
final note: PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTIONS IF I MISSED SOMETHING. I think it’s also important to note that if you went to the theatre for 2 hours of entertainment, that’s great, but not the same as those of us that have dedicated six years of our lives to these characters? So please don’t come @ me if you were just a movie-goer. I also wanna say that there were a lot of parts of this movie that I loved and will hold onto, but overall, the movie as a whole was meh. I LOVED Anna & Elsa in Frozen; they had good development and had reasons for being how they were. They had a good dynamtic and worked well together. I hated their relationship in F2; it was toxic and forced in many ways; they didn’t interact nearly enough, and when they did, they were bitching for the sake of plot, which was very frustrating.
This isn’t a hate post so please don’t come at me lol my opinion is entirely irrelevent in the grand scheme of things, but hey, we’re here to chat and share, right?
sigh.
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benhardyisdaddy · 5 years
Text
Dinner Date - Part 2 - BxRxR
MASTERLIST 
(um hi this is where the smutty mcsmut happens and um yeahhhhhh its dirty. yw. so uh enjoy?? hopefully?? as much as i love sex, i dont think im the greatest at writing it LOL even tho i feel dirty after writing this but OH WELL this is the final part, but if u want more BxRxR (even like cute blurbs :example: how they met, how they do certain stuff together, IM SO FOR THAT my requests are open 10000% okay ilysm BYEEE)
Word Count: 2,931 (OOF)
“Roger!”
You’re propped in the backseat of the car, sat in the middle. You lean forward as your hands fly to your sides and grip the leather seat roughly. Roger is sat in the passenger’s seat and his body turns to face you, a huge smirk on his face. Ben looks at you in the rear-view mirror and smiles, his eyes turning dark. This was the fourth time since the car ride to dinner that Roger has clicked on the remote and made your panties vibrate. He does it on purpose and at random moments just to elicit an ungodly gasp from you, followed by his name being moaned. He loved it more than anything. You on the other hand, were frustrated and grumpy by the continuous vibrations that gave you no relief. You look up to him and frown.
“Ben, take the remote from him!”
Ben looks to you and half laughs.
“He’ll be even worse than me!” says Roger, his voice high.
Ben nods his head and raises a brow.
“It’s true. I would be.”
You exhale and lean back against the seat.
“This isn’t fair.” you say looking out the window.
“You know you love it! It feels good.” says Rog, almost purring the last words.
You look to him and smirk, raising a brow. You slightly open your legs making your dress slip up, revealing your dark panties.
“How about you come back here and make me feel really good.” you say, biting your lip.
Roger’s smirk falls from his face as his eyes look you up and down. He’s stunned by the lust in your voice and how exposed you are to him at the moment. Ben looks over to him quickly and hits his arm.
“No! Don’t fall for that! She’s just trying to take them off!”
Roger looks to him then back to you and smiles. He knew he was right. You were going to try to get Roger back there and somehow get this torture device off of you.
“Oh, you’re good.” he says.
You huff and snap your legs close. Your plan didn’t work. You cross your arms while pouting and once again look out the window.
“Alright,” says Ben, pulling into a empty parking space. “We’re here.”
You quickly unbuckle your seat-belt and slip out of the car. Roger stands next to you and places his hand on your lower back. Ben walks around and takes in an anxious breath. You can tell he’s nervous. You walk up to him and help straighten his tie.
“Don’t be nervous.” you say. “We’re right here.”
You lean up to sweetly kiss him and when your lips touch his, your panties vibrate and you grip Ben’s shirt and moan in his mouth. Roger stands back and bites his lip as he watches your legs squeeze together. Ben freezes and feels his pants slightly tighten at the ungodly noise that just came from you. You lean away and take in a breath and turn to look at Roger. You squint your eyes and walk away from him. They both laugh and jog to catch up with you. Roger rushes up the restaurants entrance and opens the door for you. You all walk in and a delicious Italian aroma fills the air. It wasn’t busy tonight and you silently thanked the gods for that.
Ben looks around and spots everyone at a table in the far back corner. A hostess walks up as Ben tells her he knows where to go. He guides you to the back and everyone stands up as they watch him approach. He shakes hands and hugs a few as they all greet him with wide smiles. You can tell they love him already.
Your arm is wrapped around Roger’s as you hold it tight. He knows it’s a comfort thing and he slowly rubs your hand with his thumb, glancing down at you. Ben turns to look at the two of you and introduces you to everyone.
“Roger, y/n,” he says. “This is Rami, Joe, Lucy and Gwil.”
The both of you smile and say your hellos. Ben scoots your chair back as you sit down. A waiter walks up and Roger orders for the three of you, knowing exactly what you love.
“So, how did the three of you meet?” asks Joe, leaning his elbows against the table.
“Well y/n and I met at my concert one night actually. And we met Ben at an after party for a film he was in actually. What movie was it again, y/n?” asks Roger.
But before you could speak, your panties begin vibrating. It wasn’t too strong, but it still made you jump.
“Oh!” you say loudly. You look up and awkwardly smile, watching as Roger and Ben hide a smirk. “It was for, um, X Men.”
Roger smiles and shares a look with Ben. The night continues and you all share stories about your lives. They ask Roger a million questions about Queen and ask you about your life as well.
“Well I went to college for business and was hoping to-”
Roger turns up the vibration to be even stronger. You grip the table and cough loudly, trying to drown out a moan. You clear your throat and look to Rami, who asked the question.
“Was hoping to start my own business.” you finish your sentence fast and smile.
Ben sneaks his hand under the table and places on your thigh as it slides up. The vibration doesn't stop. You bite your cheek and try to concentrate on anything else but the throbbing ache between your legs.
“Your earrings are beautiful!” says Lucy admiring them. “Where did you get them?”
“Thank you!” you say smiling. “I got them from MOLLY’S!”
You accidentally half shout the last word and everyone’s eyes open wide at your sudden reaction. Ben places his napkin over his mouth as he hides him laughing. Roger looks to you and then back to everyone else.
“She just really loves that store.” he says, smiling.
You look over to him and scowl. How badly you wanted to slap that smug look off of his face. He looks to you and notices your expression and quickly turns up the vibration even higher. You jump and grab your wine and drink it. You squeeze your eyes close and reach over to grip Roger’s thigh. He hisses at the contact and turns it down quickly. You suddenly feel how wet you are and you squeeze your legs together. Ben reaches his hand across your lap and Roger passes him the remote. He leans forward and kisses your head. Your heart is racing as you watch their trade off.
“So, we’re filming this certain scene,” says Gwil, half laughing. “And Ben turns to me and says-”
At that moment, Ben turns up the vibration to full power and your hands slam on the table out of reflex. It’s loud and everyone jumps as they look to you. Your face flushes as something dark in your stomach rises up. You open your mouth to talk and all that comes out is a hurried, awkward laugh. You’re so embarrassed right now. They must think you’re insane.
“You okay?” asks Rami.
You look to him and shake your head fast, a gasp slipping out. You stand up quickly and lean against Roger. Ben turns up the vibration and you feel like your legs are going to go out under you. You close your eyes and tense your jaw.
“Um, I have to-” A slight moan falls out. “I have to actually go!” you accidentally shout. “I have soooo much work to do for tomorrow!”
The ‘so’ came out as a low groan as the vibrations hit your clit perfectly, sending a shiver down your spine. Joe raises a brow and smiles at your actions, confused as to what’s happening.
“Yeah, we actually should be heading out.” says Ben, standing with you. Roger stands next and you all say your goodbyes. You turn to walk and the vibration makes it difficult for your legs to work properly. You wanted to go in every direction. Your head was spinning at the pleasure. You exit the restaurant and rush to the car, sliding into the backseat.
“This was your idea, you can do it.” says Roger, as he slides into the driver's seat.
You look between the boys and finally understand when Ben slides in next to you and slams the door shut. He leans forward and cups your face as he kisses you hard. Roger starts the car and begins driving. You silently thank the gods once more for overly tinted windows, knowing that no one can look inside the car at all. Your panties begin vibrating even faster and you moan loudly in Ben’s mouth, finally able to make noise. He bites your lip and pushes you to lie back.
“You did so good tonight, baby.” he says as he spreads your legs. He pushes the panties against you and the vibrations are even stronger. Your eyes squeeze shut as you call out his name.
He finally slides the panties off and your core is still buzzing. He brings his hands down and rubs them between your slick folds. You hiss at the contact and look at him with pleading eyes.
“You’re so wet.” he says almost shocked. “Got enough foreplay, did we?” he asks, scooting back from you and leaning his head down to swipe his tongue over your throbbing heat. You buck your hips and run your hand through his hair.
“Oh God, no. I need you inside me.” you whispered harshly.
Roger feels his pants tighten as he watches the two of you through the mirror. He drives fast and looks over to spot a long abandoned dirt road. He turns sharply to go on it. He drives for a moment and stops the car when no one’s in sight. He puts it in park and quickly unzips his pants. He scoots to the backseat and kneels on his knees as he watches Ben kiss your neck and finger you hard and deep. Your eyes are rolled back in your head and the noise your juices make against his fingers is enough to make Roger cum right then and there. Ben looks over to him and smirks at the expression on his face. He changes his hand and slips his fingers in you once again as he reaches over and grabs Roger’s hard length.
Rog moans loudly and his head falls back slightly. Ben pumps him fast as you look over to him, watching his mouth fall open slightly. You reach forward and grab his shirt, pulling him down to you. You gently swipe your finger over his bottom lip.
“Kiss me.” you whisper.
He quickly leans forward and attaches his mouth to yours. Ben moans as his speed picks up with the both of you. Touching the two of you at the same time was almost like ecstasy to him.
“He’s right,” moans Roger. “You were such a good girl tonight.”
Ben hits your sweet spot and you cry out, gripping Roger’s shoulder hard. Ben’s fingers slip out of you and you whimper. He unzips his pants and strokes himself a few times. He aligns himself to your entrance and harshly grabs your face to make you look at him. His hand falls to your neck and he lightly squeezes as he enters you hard. Your breath gets stuck in your throat as he stretches your walls. He gives you a moment to adjust before he’s slamming into you repeatedly. He then tosses your leg over his shoulder and slides even deeper inside of you. You close your eyes and whimper after whimper spill out as he continues.
“Fuck!” you scream, feeling yourself clench around him. Your stomach tightens as your climax is close. Ben squeezes your neck a little more and you smile as you bite your lip. This drives Ben crazy, you smiling at him choking you. He growls loudly and pounds into you even harder. Just then, Roger reaches forward and begins rubbing your clit fast. Your legs begin shaking as your eyes roll in the back of your head. You begin seeing stars as Ben leans down to press a kiss below your ear.
“Cum, baby.” he whispers.
You bring your hand up to his neck and finally release your orgasm and feel as Ben does as well. His hot liquid fills you as he moans into your ear. He thrusts a few more times and pauses, still inside of you. You try to calm down your breathing, but it’s no use. Ben faces you and gently kisses you. He pulls himself out and you groan at the emptiness. He looks to Roger and leans forward to kiss him hard. You watch the two of them as their tongues dance together. You gasp at the sight in front of you and bring your fingers to rub yourself. Roger breaks away and watches you, a smirk on his face.
“Someone still a little too excited?”
You look to him and nod your head fast.
“On your knees.” he says, his voice deep.
You hurriedly sit up and get on your knees, facing him. He spins you around and your stomach is leaning against the back seat. He kneads your ass before harshly slapping it. You let out a hiss as you feel Ben’s cum slide down your leg. Roger notices and uses his finger to swipe some up. He brings his finger to your mouth and pauses.
“Open up.” he whispers.
You open your mouth and slightly hold out your tongue. He slips it in you harshly suck on it, tasting Ben. You swirl your tongue around as you hear Ben let out a groan at the sight.
“Good girl.” says Roger, as he places his hand on your back and makes you lean forward. 
He rubs his length up and down your slick folds, a mixture of you and Ben. You close your eyes in anticipation. He suddenly slides into you fast and you let out a loud moan. He grabs your hair and forces your head back. Your hands reach back and grip his hips for support. Ben cups Roger's face and begins kissing him with a needy desire. Roger pumps in and out of you slowly, but gradually his thrusts get more forceful. Before you know it, he’s slamming into you and your stomach is repeatedly hitting the seat. He brings his hand down to your core and begins rubbing you fast.
“I’m not gonna last.” he whimpers against Ben’s lips.
You let out a groan, letting him know that you won’t last either. Roger spreads your legs even further and slams into you, hitting your sweet spot over and over. You grip the seat in front of you as he releases your hair. You lean over it and let out a yell. Ben pushes you back a bit as he attaches his lips to your breasts, kneading at them. He sucks and pulls as you gasp. Feeling both of them touching you was pure bliss.
“Roger!” you cry out.
He slaps your ass as Ben sucks once more and backs away. Rog grips your hips tightly and sets an even faster pace. You gasp loudly as he slams even deeper inside of you. He slaps your butt again and he hisses.
“Good girl.” he says, slapping you again.
Ben leans forward and attaches his lips to your neck and sucks. You yell out and feel your legs begin to shake. Roger nuzzles his head into the other side of your neck and you can hear his heavy breathing in your ear.
“Slap me.” you say loudly.
Roger and Ben look up shocked. They look at each other and shake their heads, unsure if they had just heard you correctly. You bite your lip and repeat yourself again, louder.
“Slap me!”
Ben scoots over and grabs your face with his hand. He leans in and gently kisses your cheek. Your eyes are still closed when he slightly slaps you. Not enough to hurt, barely a sting. You smirk at the contact and open your eyes to watch Ben’s face, eyes wide, as he and Roger just learned something new about you. Roger speeds up and you feel the familiar shaking of your legs as your stomach muscles tighten.
“Cum.” whispers Ben, as he rubs the area where he had slapped you.
You bite your lip and feel your buildup about to explode for the second time. You’re practically screaming out when you cum for them once more. Roger brings his hand around to grip your breasts as you feel him fill you up. His breathing is harsh as he comes down from his high. You lean against the seat, legs too sore to move. Roger kisses your shoulder and leans his forehead against your neck. You lean back against him, moving your head to face him. He kisses you softly and you smile. He slowly slips out of you as you both moan at the sensitivity. Ben slides down your dress and you wobbly turn yourself around and fall against the seat. Ben and Roger slump down next to you as they zip themselves up. The car windows are all foggy as you all catch your breath.
“Maybe I’ll wear those panties more often.” you say, smirking.
Roger kisses your shoulder as Ben grabs your hand and smiles.
“I told you she’d like them.”
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eisforeidolon · 6 years
Text
Episode: Exodus
What is there to say about this episode, really?  It could have been worse?  At least we got a brother hug out of it?  Oh, look, it’s that part of the season where all the places the arc plot failed get desperately glossed over with even more flimflam?   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yeah, I did appreciate the hug and how Sam and Dean had to look away from each other's eyes after and move on to deal with the crap they were still in the middle of.  Of course Dean figures it's all good if Sam is alive, even if he comes with such fugly baggage.  So there was that good moment. Although it was right after Sam set a timer on his phone for twenty one hours.  Which was a rough estimate, not a definitive timeline.  Given by Lucifer.  You know, Lucifer.  Sigh.
The main problem this episode had was that it really desperately wanted to show a conflict for Jack between everyone else and Lucifer trying to win him over.  Even if you take out the part where earlier this season Jack said he didn't actually feel anything in favor of him now having flashbacks o' guilt?  Which has its own issues in terms of the writers going for innately good woobie Jack instead of anything with more nuance?  Everyone in this episode acted as if Lucifer had pulled some kind of angel mojo off-screen to keep them from speaking against him. 
Dean just keeps yelling for Lucifer to shut up – without actually giving Jack any reason for the hostility.  Sam basically avoids the whole situation, as does Gabriel.  Castiel stands RIGHT THERE like a goddamn piece of furniture while Lucifer spews out his same old tired oh-poor-misunderstood-me spiel.  They don't have to engage with the bullshit claims about Lucifer corrupting humanity he’s whining about, just say all the shit he personally did!  Creating demons from twisting human souls.  Torturing Sam for keeping him from his plans to destroy the world.  Lying - including to, notably, Jack's mother.  There is no real conflict here and you can't make a believable one happen by just having everyone go suspiciously mute for reasons, ffs!
Also, remember all that nonsense in season eleven about how Lucifer turning against God wasn't entirely his fault, it was because he had the Mark of Cain?  Remember how we had the Winchesters bizarrely advocate for his ass to make God apologize to him for being such a meaniehead?  Except, oh, whoops, when they have their big talk, Gabriel is back to saying that it actually was all Lucifer's fault again.  Without any mention of the Mark's influence from him or in any of Lucifer's pity party speeches.  LOL!canon.  
Then we have the usual crap with Mary, the woman who is desperate to bond with anyone … who isn't blood related to her.  The Winchesters were worried all season about saving Mary, desperate enough to risk tearing the fabric of the universe – for reasons!  Despite how many other characters they had much closer actual good relationships to they've let go.  Here, they finally find Mary - who blithely (and rather insensitivity, considering Sam just died) goes on about how she totally understands how they went to so much trouble! Buuuut, fuck off home boys I will always find somebody I care about more than you!  That whole big, cathartic hug and resolve to have a real relationship with each other?  Oh, look, the writers turned that clock right back just to give us more bullshit shallow soap drama of the Winchesters being super invested in a Mary who clearly does not actually give a single fuck about them and isn't shy about letting that show.  I mean, if I felt like the writers were doing this on purpose, intending for us to feel like Mary is just a deeply shitty person at her core, at least that would be something.  Instead they keep trying to insist there's a relationship here both ends care about but, oops, ~*somehow*~ abandonment drama keeps happening!  I honestly don't know why I'm supposed to find Mary any less contemptuous than Samuel Campbell.  Seriously, why?  I question whether she would literally adopt Lucifer before she would be considerate of Sam and Dean's feelings at this point.  I don't get why they, or I, should care about her given the givens.  AT ALL, let alone to the point of risking reality - or are we forgetting about that whole warning thing from Billie completely?  Which is not even to mention the way Mary basically laughs at Dean's concern Jack could go dark side.  Oh yeah, the woman who spent last season being duped by the BMOL and schtupping Ketch obviously has superior judgment about things like that!  Not to mention the irony of her saying of course Jack will be interested, Lucifer's his father, no harm can come of that!  Or are we not supposed to draw a parallel between how much Sam and Dean risked this season in the name of their likewise shit mother for no more substantial connection?  
At this point I honestly wonder, does Singer or somebody else on staff have an unholy fuckton of mommy issues?  First there was that whole horrible tumor of a plotline with Crowley and Rowena and now this nonsense.   Oh, but look, Mary's soooo cool, she's such a “badass” fighter and keeps punching Lucifer in the face, LOL!  That totally makes up for it!  In short - fuck you, SPN writers, for once again making alive!Mary less of an understandable three-dimensional character than she was when she was dead.  
After the reunionating, we waste some time with some random Apocaworld NPCs.  Remember how Michael was supposedly amassing his forces at a weak point between realities and was going to break through and attack the regular world at any time?  On top of the whole rift spell thing?  Time sensitive, nah, the good guys are going to sit here waffling back and forth for a while with some nobodies and a replacement goldfish Bobby about whether they should stay in their burned out world.  Who cares?  I don't.  It’s especially comical following as it does after the previous week’s OMG NO TIME!!! malarkey.  Also feel pretty awkward about the celebration at the end, these people are either strangers or strangers wearing the faces of dead friends that they've just randomly invited into their supposedly secure bunker of magical artifacts.  Acting like being all blasé about it is not kinda creepy is ... really very creepy.
In terms of the whole Charlie and Ketch on a mission side plot, I think the writers were desperately trying to create some kind of meaningful parallel between regular Cas and Indiana Jones cartoon villian reject AU!Cas.  With them both doing the angel interrogation thing and the line about being the same, or whatever?  Like, if they can just desperately imply AU!Cas is actually badass then therefore vicariously...  Even still, I actually minded this ridiculous IHAVEANACCENTSOI'MADIFFERENTCHARACTER!Cas less than the previous ones?  Putting aside the part where it’s complete nonsense that he’s the only familiar angel with the same damn vessel, somehow, for reasons?  I could actually see a clueless alternate universe Cas trying to figure out how to be intimidating to humans and ending up doing a bad adventure film Nazi impression. 
Bad accent shenanigans and faux depth attempts aside, I did enjoy the rescue scene.  Not!Charlie's reaction to being hugged by a giant stranger and Ketch's look and quip at Dean particularly. While I think they missed a bit of an opportunity to make a direct Satan at the wheel joke when they had Lucifer drive the bus, I found it amusing for that nonetheless.  I also actually did like the scene between Sam and Jack and Lucifer there as they’re leaving.  Putting aside the general thrust of the episode's story and exactly why Jack figured he'd be able to pop off and kill Michael in five minutes or so, it was pretty apt to have Lucifer talk to him about thinking you're doing the right thing and having the right thing go wrong.  Of course Lucifer knows all about that - back when he was actually scary, it was how he manipulated everyone.  It's almost out of place for how much sense it makes here for him to sway Jack with that reasoning.  I also actually liked that Rowena had managed to find a way to bolster the spell and keep it open just that much longer.
Not so much in favor of how, of course, Michael shows up at the very last second.  Or how Gabriel offers to sacrifice himself by fighting more powerful AU!Michael with … basically zero grace power.  It made no sense at all, made his resurrection to ruin his redemption arc just to give him a different one even more essentially pointless, and literally the only reason Jack didn't stay behind as the most powerful member of their party to guard their retreat was scripted contrivance.  More specifically, to have Sam ditch Lucifer so Lucifer will team up with Michael and maybe to Jack be all upset?  Which, again, if it happens can only happen because no one was actually willing to tell him exactly why everyone knows his father is a dick. BECAUSE REASONS!  So much eye-rolling, so little time.
I mean, it's not like Michael wasn't already planning to come through elsewhere anyway.  It's not like they didn't already try ditching Lucifer in Apocaworld once already and saw how permanent of a solution that WASN'T (including how it gave Michael an extra source of archangel grace).  It's not like Lucifer is capable of ever figuring out redemption involves real remorse and might actually turn good so there was some real dilemma for him here beyond having to team up with someone he hates.  I guess there were actually some people that were all pissed off at Sam on Lucifer's behalf but that's incredibly gullible and weird, tbh.  Like, there are people who actually bought all that crocodile tears sad face self pity bullshit? Just … wow.
Anyway, maybe this dumb idea of an ending will have some non-contrived point that comes up in the finale episode that I haven't got to yet, but I seriously doubt it.  
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“flash Fiction”
December 3rd, 2015  4:38am (Burn on December 3rd, 2016)
Dear Eva, 
    There are always moments of bursting inspiration that drive me to write. It never matters whether its by key or pen stroke, just as long as something tumbles out of me. I’m recovering from one of those moments now. I can breathe.   
    It was subtle. I had just looked up through the dark of my apartment to see a slit of outside. It hid itself like a delicate privacy. When I looked I saw a silhouette glide past and then a voice. What if it had been you? Never. I darted up and ripped the curtains apart but the snow was the only thing I could see. It zig-zagged, wisped, floated in updrafts. I was transfixed. And then you texted me.   
    Everything felt fated. Moments of beauty always gave way to people like you. So I took my time settling back into the couch’s warmth. The cool of the window nipped at the back of my neck as I brought my phone closer. My thumb grazed the center button and your words flashed across the screen: ‘Are you awake?’   
    Of course. My heart lodged itself in my throat. My reply: ‘Yes.’ Everything I did with you had to be drenched in melodrama. Without that, what was there? I felt submerged.
> What are you up to?
Pleasantries. 
< Watching the snowfall. You?
> Watching some dumb movie with the girls.
> Really boring, haha.
< Lol well, that sounds pretty shit.
> I would much rather be watching the snow.
I softened with strain.
< I mean I’ve got this warm spot on the couch right next to me, soooo
> Bet it’s only warm because you’re really sweaty.
< I do have that effect on couches..
> I hate you so much right now.
< You love me. Lie to me again.
    But you didn’t reply. It was usually those sorts of challenges that you shied away from. I reasoned that it was because you couldn’t handle the truth. My friends rattled off something similar, saying that you were a coward. Maybe.    
    The moment didn’t end there. I was still wrapped up in lust, staring at the ceiling with a passion that could have fractured concrete. I tuned into the stomping above my head and then to the murmur next door. I rose and pressed my ear against the plaster until the cartilage ached. The mumbling rose and fell with the rhythm of my breathing. I strained, wanting to capture at least the fragment of a sentence. And then: “- to never fucking do that. So why did you?” I switched ears, hugging the wall.    
    It was a girl with a thick City accent. Almost all of the City kids lived on South. “Okay but why, Dell? Why the fuck would you-” her words fell, seeming to cloak themselves intentionally. I groped for more, begging in silence. Something.    
    “I told you she was gonna do this shit. I told you, Dell. You never fucking listen to me, regardless of what I say….No! I’m done with this shit.” And then she cried. They were muffled sobs, but their intensity pierced the silence around her. Everyone was falling victim to someone. I wanted to comfort her. Kiss her. Tell her that things were still beautiful.    
    I climbed back onto the couch and leaned out of the curtains. That was the symphony of these moments: I blended in and out of scenes without a second thought. There were sheets of snow charging across the lot now. My car was coated, gleaming in the parking lot’s yellowed light. The world seemed to age right before me. I remembered the conversations we had had on several drunken occasions. I remembered the first time we came close to kissing. The moment swelled in my chest as I slid.    
    We were inches from each other’s lips that night, fatigued by alcohol and dancing. Your eyes glowed in the lamplight fixed behind me. We were smiling, high on the euphoria emanating between us. I remember the pinch of fear that gripped my throat when I realized we had stolen glances of one another’s lips. I had never done that before, not with you. Though by your claims, you probably had. It was fresh for me, burning at the ends of my fingertips. You shifted in your seat and I took that as encouragement to subdue the tension. So we did.   
    The sting of tears emerged at the corners of my eyes before radiating into my face. I bent forward, feeling the memory disintegrate. The harmony carrying my enthrallment followed suit and I knew that something needed to come out. I wrenched my laptop open and stared blankly at the screen before drawing in enough air to to feel tangible again. You burned in the back of my throat and then your name lit up my phone’s screen. I threw it across the room.   
    The thud echoed through my mind as my fingertips blazed across the keyboard. To anyone it would have sounded like incessant mashing, but to me it was a storm of need spelling itself out through a jungle of petaled language. I typed your name and then deleted it. No. You only get to be “You” or “Lover” or “Observer.” You are a subject, not a person.   
    The center of my affections only in between words.   
    The lines came chaotically and yet they melted into one another with rhythm. Something boiled beneath my skin until I felt my heart raking for release. I paused, inhaling ice. I was trembling with a knot tight in my throat. I needed to finish. Time only flexed things. Space bar, L-o-v-e-r.   
    And then, all at once, I was finished. The words ceased their swirling, fizzling into incoherence. Here I am now, in the aftermath. A relief is comforting the back of my head. And I am not thinking of you.
Yours,
Nathaniel
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tetrisfinished · 5 years
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COSTA RICA 2019
yasir and i just came back from costa rica - our first international trip together! (not really counting pakistan, because....well it’s not worth counting it). and so, as per tradition (re: green/california) i want to remember my trip so i’m going to record the stuff here!
feb 5th, 2019
had our flight with delta, toronto > atlanta (4 hour layover) > liberia
arrived in liberia at around 9:30 pm at night and went straight to our hostel (hostal nanku) and fell asleep
feb 6th, 2019
woke up in the morning and headed to alamo car rental to get our rental for the week
got our rental and headed to our first destination; tenorio volcano national park
the weather was just gorgeous; sunny and clear skies and the drive was great
did our first hike at tenorio and saw these gorgeous falls (after going down 65698465454 steps - climbing back up them was a bitch and a half)
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for me, i was too tired to continue after the first part of the hike, but yasir went on to the end to see all the different attractions
i sat there and waited for him to get back and rested my head - i hadn’t had breakfast that day and it was a hot hike so i guess that might have been why i felt sort of lightheaded
once he was back, we finished up and went back to the entrance from where i purchased cheese empanadas that a woman was selling at the park entrance (they were delicious, tasted like the sweet dawn bread that you eat in pakistan!)
then we went to arenal and on the way stopped at this little roadside cafe called cafe y macadamia with gorgeous views (below)
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by the time we got to arenal (stayed at arenal observatory and lodge) yasir had already fallen asleep and i got my first taste of actual driving in costa rica; i.e. driving at 60 in total darkness which roads that had little to no shoulder that were twisty and turny and just sort of amazing/creepy to drive on!
we checked in and went to sleep pretty immediately (i think i showered first, actually)
feb 7th, 2019
we woke up and had breakfast at the lodge - this was by far both of our favourite places to stay at during our time at arenal
breakfast was done in their eating hall/dining room which opened out to an observatory deck with the arenal volcano right across from us (pictures of our room and lodge deck view below)
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we finished up our breakfast with coffee on the lodge deck and then went on our free guided walk of the property
this was great! the tour guide took us through the walk and we saw toucans (first time) and danta falls and then we got to take a tractor ride back to the lodge reception (pictures below)
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after this we went back to our room and rested for a bit before going out and climbing the nest - which is this lookout built on the lodge that’s i think 28 floors high!
from the top you can see arenal volcano, cerro chato, and lake arenal and gosh such beautiful views
from here we visited the arenal observatory lodge museum (which was basically a bunch of pictures and then a viewing area for again the volcano); you might think this would get tiring but gosh how often do you get to see such a gorgeous volcano - we tried to make the most of it!
then i went swimming in the lodge pool and spent some time in the hot tub while yasir stayed on his phone (which he did for MOST of the trip - drove me insane and caused a bunch of fights as well)
then we decided to go into the city la fortuna to grab some dinner and incidentally that day my sister javaria was there too; so we had dinner with her and her friend (who was doing the trip with her) and talked about what we’d done/seen so far
the dinner was at this place called nanku; it was delicious and i thoroughly enjoyed it!
then my sister treated us to ice cream (dinner was my treat :p) and they left and yasir and i went back for more ice cream 8- ) lol 
when we got back to the lodge, we realized that in my planning of the trip i had fucked up and not planned any place to stay for the following night - so we proceeded to book a night in monteverde and then subsequently cancel after we found out that half the path there is dirt roads and i got worried our 2wd wouldn’t be able to handle it
instead we booked a night in san jose (as it was on the way to manuel antonio - our final destination out of the 3 cities)
after that we went back to the lodge and again fell asleep
feb 8th, 2019
the next morning we grabbed breakfast and then again enjoyed a coffee on the lodge deck
throughout the trip the best weather we experienced was in arenal - nice and windy and sunny and just gorgeous
then we went back to our room to climb a smaller version of the nest lookout on the lodge where it looks out onto lake arenal (instead of the volcano) (picture below)
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again gorgeous views *insert heart eyes emoji* and once we were done we went back to our room to pack and get ready to check out
once we were done, we checked out and went into the city la fortuna again just to sight see and explore a bit before our coffee/chocolate tour at don juan farms
the chocolate and coffee tour was pretty cool! we learned that neither of these items was indigenous to costa rica but are significant exports from there and saw how both these items are made
after the tour, we got into the car and went to san jose for the night
feb 9th, 2019
woke up in san jose the next morning (it was a mission and a half to try and find our air bnb the night before, but we managed :p)
the night before i had looked up stuff to do and found that there was a free walking tour in san jose in the mornings
so we went to that; it was really cool! we walked around the city and the guide explained some of the history
his name was guillermo (hope i’m spelling it correctly) and he was very very knowledgeable and nice and i would definitely recommend the tour again :) 
it lasted about 3 hours and then we walked around on our own for a bit and then grabbed lunch from mcdonald’s and then a crepe from pops (this baskin robbins equivalent chain there)
then once again we headed back to the car and went to manuel antonio
feb 10th, 2019
in the morning we had booked the catamaran cruise that went around the beach and we got to do snorkeling 
it was the coolest experience in the world! i thought from my greece scuba diving mishap i wouldn’t be able to snorkel, but i was surprisingly OKAY! 
yasir, however, was not :p (unsurprisingly) lol he was with the instructor the wholeeee time and was continually being made fun of :p 
after snorkeling we got food from the cruise and then headed back to the marina
then we were dropped back to our hotel (casa mare novstrm) and at the hotel we showered and got ready to go to manuel antonio national park to do the tour
at manuel antonio national park i was hoping to do the tour but unfortunately we got there around 2:30 pm and the park closes around 4 pm - so we were advised by the parks admission people that it maybe wasn’t the best time to go in
so we didn’t and i fell into despair thinking my whole costa rica trip i wouldn’t see a SLOTH! (note feb 10th was a sunday and monday all parks are closed so that was shitty because the following day was also our last day in manuel antonio)
then we decided instead to just go to the beach and play in the water; which was super fun
and while we were just lying on the beach watching, yasir found some courage to actually do the parasailing that was happening along the beach
so we did parasailing! i had originally booked my parasailing alone for the following day, but then i figured i better not lose the opportunity while yasir still has some courage in him to do it now, and so we did it together
the experience was amazing - i loved it so much!
after parasailing, we came back to the beach and played in the water some more, watched the sunset and then decided to eat at one of the restaurants along the beach (delicious food)
then we came back to the hotel and fell asleep
feb 11th, 2019
in a last ditch effort to see the sloth, i booked a group guided tour at a private property in manuel antonio
we hiked up to punta quepos and saw the ocean all around and the rainforest and oh man it was soooo beautiful and so hot
and WE FINALLY SAW A SLOTH - actually we saw THREE!
that hike was about 3 hours long, then we came back to the hotel i showered and checked out and once again we were on our way back to liberia
on the way we stopped at pops for ice cream though :p 
once we were back in liberia we got dinner at this burger place and then strolled around the city and then checked in to our last hostale (dodero)
we checked in and then we went back out to get some ice cream (just now realizing two desserts in one day, wow) from mcdonald’s and then return our rental car at alamo
we got a ride back from the alamo representative and fell asleep
feb 12th, 2019
woke up the next morning bright and early and finished up our packing
took the bus to the airport (made a scene because gave the incorrect amount of colones lol embarassing moment of the day, complete)
and then at the airport grabbed (a $59) breakfast
then got on our flight for atlanta where we would proceed to have a 9 hour layover (+ flight got delayed because some storm was happening in canada)
in any case though, we left the airport in atlanta to explore and went to the coke museum
which was a pity because when we got there i saw the CNN building and upon googling found that they do tours too! except by the time we got out of the coke museum, the tours had ended - maybe next time atlanta! 
then we grabbed some food at the popeyes/burger king and were on our way back to the airport where we rode the terminal train once end-to-end and then dicked around the airport
our flight was delayed an hour and then we boarded and sat in the dormant place for almost an additional hour
reached toronto around 2:30 am feb 13th and baba was there to pick us up and bring us home - where we immediately fell asleep (but i guess not immediately because we first had some biryani that mama had made)
and that was our trip! i loved it and hated it and loved it. i loved it twice as much as hated it (mostly because yasir was on the trip with his phone, not with me) so i guess it was well worth it :p 
i would 100% recommend costa rica to anyone as a great tourist destination! and i hope everyone goes to see what a great, educated, peaceful country looks like. and how the people are so chill and kind! 
and that’s all! finally finished this post :p 
much love,
-k
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