#then going all summer and fall to try to finish my shit and transfer to the surgical tech program

[nofunclvb]

going back to school at almost 28 years old like .

#im doing it this time!!!!! #my credits from ct transferred to my new program when i didnt think they would #so i start next month for the spring semester thats like crammed into a few weeks #then going all summer and fall to try to finish my shit and transfer to the surgical tech program #yeeeeeeehaw boys #AND working full time? and being a functioning adult and watching my bf's kid 3-4 nights a week #being an adult is fucking wild why am i doing this #not to mention every moment of my free time is dedicated to black desert online please get me help

[beautifulhigh]

On grief, feeling what we feel, and taking a step back

I’m writing this having literally just finished listening to an interview my cousin did on a radio show about grief, about the way we feel when we lose a relationship that isn’t romantic or familiaral. Losing a friendship, a collegiate relationship, having to say goodbye to someone close to you.

I have thoughts that I want to get out so they’re under the cut. Trigger warnings for death, grief, depression & anxiety, suicidal thoughts, self harm, and a whole bunch of other misery.

Part of why I’ve been feeling so lost recently is because the end of February is the anniversary of my best friend, and then her birthday is 1 March, so basically that week I end up whirling myself up into grief and solemnity and rememberance. Brina was Jewish, had meningitis, and so within the space of a week I’d gone from getting the first message that she was sick, to coming home from her funeral. It felt like, in that week, I didn’t have time to process it.

It was also the start of some epic shit at work, shit that would eventually push my anxiety into depression, into suicidal thoughts and self harm. It felt like the first domino to fall in my life: I lost my best friend, I lost my confidence at work, and it felt like I was losing everything. It felt like everything was coming for me and for a while I considered letting it win.

I’m getting to the stage now where I look back on that time and see it as something I couldn’t have changed, couldn’t have prevented. There was no way I could have stopped what happened, the sequence of events. I got help. I got out of teaching and while I missed it for a bit I don’t now. The timing of everything that’s happened in my life since I resigned summer of 2019 has been a stepping stone to get me to here.

And I mostly like here, but I’ll get to that in a moment.

Losing Bri hurts, but not like it did in that first year. When I would pick up my phone to message her only to remember as our thread got further and further down my list. I remember my phone breaking and I nearly had a panic attack because I thought I was going to lose all those messages. God bless Samsung and their autoback up and transfer.

I’m getting better at focusing on her memory being a blessing. Listening to my cousin talk in that interview about grief and how it doesn’t care whether you were family or in love or knew them for three score years and ten. Losing someone is still losing someone and you still have things that were yours, that you feel like you don’t have anymore.

It still hurts, it’s going to hurt for a long time to come, and it hurts more when people don’t see and recognise that pain. For those people still in my life who see me dealing with it - or trying to - and to then brush it off or try to push it away? I can’t deal with that. I won’t deal with that. This is my grief, my pain, my sorrow and my joy. You don’t have to come and sit with me in it but if you do I’ll tell you stories about dropping radios into canals, and wrong orders at restuarants, and sneaking backstage at a panto.

At that point something kicked off at work - someone was getting upset at how I was treating them, I was upset at how they were treating me, and in the “discussion” that was organised to deal with it it became very clear they weren’t interested in hearing my side of things. They told me that I don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life and I should think about how my actions could be taken, and when I tried to say “you have a point, here’s my story” I was talked over and shut down. It made me feel like my life, my thoughts didn’t mater.

This year I spent those Serious Days™ in Los Angeles. I got to meet Emma in person and I had the most amazing time. And so dealing with them felt easier and I was happy and I was making all the memories they say you should.

Then I got on a plane and I came home and I crashed. Big style. I didn’t want to go back to work because that last day I’d been shut out of a conversation. That anxiety made me pull back and not say much and even then it felt like anything I did say was coming with a side of “oh shut up Jen”. Because I was wrong about something (even when I wasn’t), because it wasn’t my place to say something (even when it was an open discussion). Because I was shutting people out (even when I was offering up something that no one else knew or hand experience of).

I felt lost, I felt alone, and I was honestly scared because my anxiety was bubbling up and those awful dark thoughts were back in my head. Because who actually wanted me around?

I even started to lose my place in fandom: I’d express an opinion on something and have someone reply with an essay about why all my thoughts on this were wrong and rude and oh my god I can’t believe you would attack us like this do you just hate people? I’d say something and get an “well ACTUALLY” response. Even when it wasn’t, everything started to feel like an attack and I needed to do something before I, well, did something.

It’s why my parting comment before my mini semi hiatus was to be kind to yourselves. Because I want to believe that those who said and did things towards me these past few months weren’t coming to attack me. I want to believe that words on a screen without tone feed into our own interpretations and understanding of things and this is why things were not taken the way that they should have been.

Probably on both sides.

I’m literally tearing up as I write this, and for once that’s not internet hyberbole. Because I’m still not OK, but I am better than I was. I miss my friend and I will always miss her and I need to get better at sitting with my grief all year ‘round so that the week in February/March doesn’t slam into me.

If someone isn’t going to listen to me, then that’s on them. If they won’t hear my side of the story then I can’t make them. It could be they don’t care, it could be that they’re not ready to. If when I get to say to someone, “hey this thing upset me” they don’t apologise? I can’t make them. “I’m sorry if” isn’t an apology - there’s no if when someone literally tells you how they feel. If they don’t think they did anything wrong then that isn’t my fault. I need to get better at believing that and not thinking that somehow I’ve fucked up.

It still feels like it. It still feels like I’m fucking up everything I touch and so hey, maybe I shouldn’t touch things like ever and maybe I should just fuck off...

I want to try and find my space in this world. I want to take up space and not only feel OK that I’m taking up space but to understand that I am allowed to take up space. I’m allowed to like things people don’t and I’m allowed to dislike things people like (with all the usual caveats about people getting hurt etc etc but seriously - if you read this and go WELL ACTUALLY then you haven’t been paying attention to what this post is trying to say. Fuck off of you want to willfully misinterpret it). I’m allowed to say what I think and what I feel and I am not only allowed to have people in my life who will care about that and respect me for it, but I deserve that.

I deserve people in my life who are willing to listen to how I feel. I deserve people in my life who apologise without any hesitation or attempt at equivocation when they upset me, whether it’s intentional or not. I deserve to feel what I feel and think what I think and not be made to feel bad or less because of it. I deserve to have the time and space to express what I’m feeling so it doesn’t end up coiled so tightly in my body I feel like I need to cut it out.

And I want to be here. In every sense of that phrase. I really, really do. But sometimes it’s really fucking hard.

I’m trying to be kinder to myself. I can’t make people be kinder to me - and god so many of you are already more supportive and loving and amazing than I could have ever hoped - but this is where I’m at. This is what has been happening to me. With me.

I’m OK, I haven’t relapsed. I was closer than I would have liked when I started this semi hiatus and I have only gotten better as a result. I’m stabilising on my meds so there’s another good point. I know I’m kinda around but I’m not back-back yet, and listening to my cousin talk about grief and relationships this evening made me realise that if I don’t face it, sit with it, live with it and deal with it, then this will just come around and around and around like the worst fucking merry-go-round there is.

Jen

x

#jen and her broken brain #an update of sorts #semi hiatus posting #tw: depression #tw: anxiety #tw: death #tw: grief #tw: self harm #tw: sucidal thoughts

[pufflocks]

Ok ok lady kuroo oneeeeee..

Kuroo fucking bottom male y/n in the school bathroom by pressing y/n again a wall and just fucking his brains out

Summary: Skipping with your boyfriend sounds fun. Right ? You were being rather bratty during lunch.. Maybe some discipline in those dirty stalls would whip you up straight. ♡

"-Come on, speak up. You were just saying how you'd much rather be doing something else." -T.K ❣

An: Please excuse errors. I most definitely rushed this out my drafts.

Warning: Degrading • Dacryphilia • Minor Gagging • Minor Slapping • proof read

Cast: Bottom!M!Reader x Tetsurou Kuroo

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

It was lunch time. Or passing time some others call it as for some people would play on their devices or talk to their friends.

That's exactly what you were doing earlier, you decided to drag out the topic of how you think your boyfriend is just so protective in your conversation.

"Sometimes I wanna fuckin' breath-"

That's what you said, no ?

You were sitting next to and telling this to your boyfriends bestfriend, Kenma. He however just gave a light sigh saying something how could he help. Fingers diddling with his switch frantically. He obviously wasn't much help in situations like this, you know, but your mind was side tracked with your boyfriends glare.

'Hm..'

He was eyeing you down word for word as he silently watched you across your guys' table with your friends.

Watching you move shy hair strands from his bestfriends face and giving Kenma tips on his game. Not tha you had any particular idea in the game.

Why are trying so hard to be buddy buddy with him ? If you didn't even interest Kenma in any sexual form or other.

Tetsurou most definitely wouldn't let this just go by easily.

Lev only looked at his friend beside him then back at you in awe.

Yaku on the other hand had his eyes darted in his lap to his phone. No need to be in this conversation.

'Did he actually say that-?' He thought.

The chopsticks in Kuroos hand slipped from his fingertips as he chuckled under his breath. He didn't think you were this fucking down bad to get some dick.

All you really had to do was just ask. How fucking hard could that task be ? Could have easily fuck after school or at one of your guys' house. Gladly.

No doubt you would be coming back to this table with a dazed expression.

"Meet me in the bathroom, bubs." He whispered to you as he got up from his seat his dark aura following him out of the lunch room doors.

Yaku rose his head from his lap as his eyes darted your way, in disbelief, you were giggling happily as if you weren't about to get folded in half.

You got up from your seat leaving your barely eaten meal and two stunned friends, and one who's eyes were glued to his switch.

'Which one did he go to-' Thought unable to finish as you got pulled into a hard warm chest of someone you could only guess your lover.

You sensed his tense form as you shyly looked up to his face to only be met with dark pools of jealousy known as his eyes.

A shiver transferred to your head all the way down to your toes as a boner slowly began to form in your pants. Even when he was jealous and frustrated he could always be seen getting flat out drunk on his cat like existence alone.

And right now all you wanted from his noir existence was a dead. Good. Fucking.

"There something on my face or something ? Or are you imagining me as my bestfriend instead of me ? Your fucking boyfriend."

His words felt cold with a tinge of heated anger. He couldn't be truthfully angry at you could he ?

The only response he got from you was a shy shake of your head 'no'.

Gotta play like you didn't want your arse pounded like a dog in heat just a second ago.

You thought about your next moves as your pants got tighter by the second and your now playful and mischievous boyfriend glared down at your form.

'Ah–'

Not all the time did you see the man get hot and bothered up front like this, not in school at least.

Close within eachother faces, hot tension in the air. The heat coming off his body specifically was close to a bonfire in the summer, and you were his slightly charred marshmallow being close to the heat.

Melting into something deliciously horny.

" 'M just horny 'n wanna be fucked really hard today-" You whined. Never being the one to exactly whine and beg, but the last time you masturbated was about half a month ago !

It wasn't your fault he was so busy and such with volleyball though. He msdevsyre to have time for you every so often. Outside and inside of school he was the best boyfriend.

"Oh. Didn't notice you were so greedy. Why not ask me after school ?" He bluntly stated. Funny his he asked this and your erection is straining against fabric as you speak.

You tugged on the bottom of his uniform catching him off guard slightly. "If you don't fuck me right now, Tetsuro Kuroo I might just consider getting with Kenma !" You barked.

Tetsurou only smirked like the mischievous damn cat he was.

Leaning closer down to your face, "Alright then. When we get back from the stalls, I dont wanna here a word about the cum leaking out of your abused ass." He whispered for your ears only as he flicked a slightly erect nipple outside of your school flannel shirt.

¤ y.p.o.v ¤

"Yes, yes." I mumbled. My nipples were being stupidly played with.

"Bathroom.." I said. He only nodded, retreating his hands.

Making our way down to the bathroom was audibly quiet. Only our footsteps being heard throughout the silent halls.

My eyes skimmed his posture and tall stature as I noticed his bulge. Soon enough it was going to be forcefully filling me in some dirty stall.

I look up at Tetsu and see his unusual stoic face fall into something familiarly mischievous as he caught on to me.

The sexual appeal and aura was never lost as we made our destination. Thankfully, we made it to the bathrooms without me jumping on him right there and then.

"We're here and let's hurry this up, pretty boy. I dont feel like getting in trouble for fucking you between classes again." He stated. I only scoffed and chuckled lightly.

At this point I dont care if we skipped a few minutes just to fuck. Did it once, I'm sure we wouldn't get caught twice.

Walking in the bathrooms, the first thing I do is pull him down for a kiss. Reminding him that I'm still feeling it.

He chuckled in the kiss. Wrapping his rather long arms around my waist, picking me up as I tossed my legs over his waist. His muscular body holding me up as if I weighed like air.

"Bubs.. About fucking you into these stalls. You know why I'm gonna go rough right," I nodded slowly. Giving him a few small hickies on his neck.

Faking my innocence for a better fuck is always worth while. He took that as a thumbs up as he once again let out that noir chuckle of his.

"That's good to know babes~"

Further movements were heated skin to skin touches and kitten licks and bites of each other. Some movements pornos could never mimic.

His calloused fingers gripping my throat, forcing eye contact as he smirked on how wrecked I already looked. I would say it was embarrassing if my mind wasn't attracted to his knee gliding across my tight pant front.

"Looks like you need to get that attitude fucked out of you from earlier, hm ?"

My mind barely focusing on his wolfish voice as he licked a long strong underside of my jaw, making me visibly shake and quiver slightly. The contact we shared in this cramped stall has me gasping for air the more I think of someone barging in. Any second I could literally bust thinking of how he would fuck me harder, the two pairs of feet on ther other side of the stall merely nonexistent to us.

"Tetsu please- I want it really bad~ I was bad wasnt I ?" I was becoming desperate as I slithered my hand down to his own very visible, erection.

He groaned lightly before chuckling and kissing me once more. I know he knows that my actions with his bestfriend weren't intentionally to hurt him, but what if I had fucked his bestfriend-

My thought was intruded as he flipped me over the stall door and shucking my pants off my body. Doing the exact same to his own as he harshly pushed into me.

I choke out a long groan of surprise as he held me against his clothed chest. "Ah-! Wait Tetsu!~" I was hushed by long fingers. Poking and prodding on my tongue to my throat.

He whispered in my ear, "Shh, now what if we get caught and I get in trouble for fucking you ?~", nibbling on my earlobe tantalizingly slow.

Hot breath we shared as his dick ushered in and out of my puckered hole. Minding you that we had no lube so the burn of him dragging himself in and out of me was a blinding pain.

My hands made attempt of pushing him away. Drool just at the corner of my mouth, fingers still at work.

He got the idea, pulled out to the tip, and lazily drooled on his shaft. His shape successfully returning to it's desired place.

"Can't have you hurting too bad. Even though this is a well deserved punishment~" He smirked at his own comment.

Right. I got myself in this situation and every second of it I loved. So close to the spot aswell-

"NGH–! Hah~ Shit Tetsu~ Right- Right thereee~!!" I shut my eyes closed tightly. My dick dripped precum as every few thrusts directed to my prostate.

"I found your spot, hm ?~ My baby finna cum soon ?~ Want me to jack you off or should I not, keep in mind your not off the hook, love.~" He mocked as his hands gripped my left leg, sandwiching between the stall door and my lover.

His other hand on my dick refusing of ejaculation. The new angle and pressure on my cock making my head fall back.

God I felt like I was going dumb and on his dick !

"PLEASE— I NEE- AH!~ I NEEF TO CUHM!~" I babbled. I doubt he heard me clearly though

Tetsu spat in his hand as his hand rapidly started to glide across my shaft. The slick palm feeling heavenly on my member. It was all so overwhelming !

Drool finally making it's way down my chin and hicked up throat.

"Bubs- Fuck-! Babe I'm finna cum in this sweet ass. Better keep in too~ Let Kenma and everyone else know you have a boyfriend~" He grunted near my ear as I frantically nodded my cockhead probably a pretty red now, completely swollen and wet.

"Cu- Cuhminggg!!~" I slurred as a particular harsh thrust shoved me off the edge and the knot in my stomach grew and snapped.

I felt a gush of his semen flow in my abused hole as he grunted and stilled ministrations. His cock head snug on my sore prostate.

"I- I hope you remember my words from earlier bubs. Wasn' playing." He scoffed as he checked out my blotchy neck and slobber slicked face.

The sight, I'm sure was obscene as he spread my cheeks. Cock head only inserted by the tip in hopes none of his hit substance fell on the bathroom tiles.

"Fuck Y/n.. Do this shit again I might just have to fuck you in front of Kenma~" He said tauntingly, slapping my ass aggressively as I eeked I surprise.

"I'm gonna leave first and you get cleaned up alright ? Don't want people to notice that we fucked like rabbits in the stalls." He said helping me with my clothes back on my body. I was too braindead to do about anything.

" Kiss.." My words coming out slurred. He looked up at me as he was helping me put my slacks on now. Leaning in giving me a long kiss.

My body leaned into his as I dragged my arms around his neck. Humming in satisfaction as I parted the sensually deep contact.

"You're so cute after sex !" He exclaimed as I ruffled his hair giggling now off my high.

He cleaned up after a few more shared pecks and left first as I sat on the toilet for about 6 minutes.

I checked my phone fir the time and I saw that it was nearing the end of the lunch hour.

'Fuck !'

I splashed some water on my face quickly before ushering to my next period. Being early wasn't so bad I suppose.

#kuroo x reader #kuroo x male reader #hq kuroo #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo testuro #smut #haikyuu smut #bottom reader #bottom male reader #degrading #choking #tw dacryphilia

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

congratulations on your bachelors degree slug! can you give us tips on managing the workload and how you were able to talk to your counsellors about early grad? i’m a freshman in college and hope to transfer for junior year and finish then :)

Thank you very much for the congratulations! Put under a cut for length.

Your school will likely have a much different process than mine. I apologize; I will be a bit vague about the details, but a huge part of why my university worked so well for me as opposed to other schools (which I really struggled with) is because it was almost entirely self-paced. Because of that, if I wanted to take a year's worth of courses in a single semester, I could, provided I showed I could handle it. It wasn't a complex process. In your case, you will probably have a lot more graduation requirements and fiddly things to deal with, so bringing it up to a counselor now and making a roadmap towards graduation is a very smart idea. Be really careful! You don't want to end up in a time crunch due to perquisites, fall-only/spring-only classes, etc. If you're outside of the US, this may not apply (but still, please talk to the counselor), but plan ahead to take summer classes too. You'll probably not be able to do a lot of internships, extracurricular activities, or other fun/enriching things. Is the trade-off worth it? Maybe. In my case, I was paying for most of my tuition, so only paying 2 years of tuition vs 4 was a huge motivator for me. I was also working full-time and otherwise not living the typical college student life, so I already didn't give a shit about missing out on the social aspects of college. For some people, though, that's a big deal breaker.

In terms of managing the workload, again, your situation is probably going to be different. I've been lucky to have a lot of flexibility; when I was working full-time, my workday started in the afternoon and ran all evening, and when I was doing contract translation work, that could be done literally whenever. Likewise, my classwork could be done almost whenever, so I was able to shift things around as needed. My school also didn't have a lot of busywork since it emphasized self-management; it was on me to figure out how much I had to do in order to pass exams and complete projects to the necessary standards. With that being said, some general tips for time and workload management:

Plan out your time in advance with flexible scheduling. If you've been around for a while, you may remember how I always put up monthly translation calendars with daily translation goals. I almost never did the day's goal on the day itself (just because I kept moving things around as I responded to other workloads likewise shifting) but I always made sure everything was done before the deadline, aka the month's end. Flexibility is fantastic if you can have it! It allows you to absorb sudden shocks (accidents, unexpected new work coming in, illness, etc.). But if you're dealing with 12 hours of work in a day when you're only awake 16 - 18 hours, it's vital to have a game plan to know how you're going to fit that all in. Calendars, daily task lists, etc are all good tools to do this. I'd be happy to show some of mine if they're wanted.

Learn your peak hours of productivity and use them to their fullest extent. For me, I am most active in the morning (usually 5 am - 1 pm or so) so I try to shift all my hardest, most energy-consuming tasks to those time slots. Other people are most active in the evening or afternoon and should commit to those as their peak productivity hours.

Use wait times productively. Since my disability prevents me from driving, I use public transit a lot which is often sloooooow and boooooring - but I can use that to my advantage! During the unpleasant six months of my junior semester where I was averaging about 80 working hours a week (two jobs + a year's worth of classes in six months - and then there was Hypmic and housework and shit to contend with of course), the overwhelming majority of my coursework was done on the train to and from work. Before that, I printed light novel pages or grabbed Hypmic screenshots to translate during those commutes. Nowadays, on days when I know I need to run errands, I bring my self-studying textbooks with me and pencil in working on those during that timeslot. Outside of public transit, there are lots of other situations when you may lose chunks of time waiting - waiting for a ride, at a doctor's office waiting room, etc. Plan ahead, and if you find yourself in a situation where you're wasting time on your phone or whatever, know that that's a good time to spend a few minutes studying from a textbook, doing flashcards, finishing a worksheet, etc.

Budget downtime for yourself. Energy is a resource as much as time is. If you're working yourself into a crash state on a consistent basis, you're likely to burn out. Most people schedule themselves at least one day off a week to allow themselves time to relax and have fun. I... do not for a variety of reasons, but I'm very much an exception to the rule and not the rule itself. Please plan time to recharge. Having a certain time to "clock out" at the end of each day is also a wise idea.

Be diligent in taking care of yourself physically. Your body can't work at 100% capacity constantly, especially if you aren't taking care of yourself. Be mindful of getting enough rest, even if that means setting a strict bedtime. Make sure you're eating enough, at whatever times are appropriate for you, and with balanced nutrition. If you have the time, exercise is also vital.

Learn how your brain works best and go with it. What works for one person you know may not work for you. If you're not sure how to begin with this, try different strategies out and reflect as you go on what is effective and what isn't. Tweak things as needed until you feel comfortable and like you're working with yourself instead of actively fighting against yourself.

I think I'm making it sound more stressful than it is, but graduating early or otherwise managing large workloads isn't usually an easy process for anyone. I think of it as a battle I have with myself to be the very best that I can be each day, which requires a lot of discipline, training, and mindfulness of my thought processes. I don't always win this fight, but I take note of what didn't work and then try again the next day and the next to do better. Best of luck to you in your education!

#not a translation #asks #personal asks

[kneelesssharks]

How to Lose the Lottery

Hi! This is my first actually story post on tumblr so please give me feedback! :) 

George Weasley X fem!Reader (Muggle!au)

Inspo: this song

Summary: You’re remembering the night that you broke up with George Weasley. Looking back at your relationship you’re missing the good, but you can’t forget the last day you were together.

Warnings: Angst

If you have to go on one more ridiculous date you’ll scream. Ever since you and George broke up your friends had been insistent that you find someone else, or at least try and break out of your slump. 

You had been with George since your second year at university. He had already graduated and was working on becoming a computer sciences professor. He was in grad school, and you were a beautiful, fresh faced sophomore. It seemed simple, he had a decent enough job that he had a nice apartment close to campus. You were just nineteen, he was twenty-three. It made sense, guys your age were focused on partying, rather than being responsible young adults. 

Your first couple dates were fun, he’d taken you on the London Eye, and taken you for some really amazing food after. He was really sweeping you off your feet. A couple weeks into your relationship you started to spend more and more time at his apartment. You’d stay over on weekends and spend the week at your dorm to get your work done. Every Saturday morning you’d make pancakes in one of his old shirts he’d let you sleep in. You always woke up before him, used to your classes being earlier in the day, while he scheduled his for after ten am. He told you how much he loved waking up to you making breakfast in his shirt while playing music quietly as to not waking him up. 

Every morning he’d walk up to you half asleep without a shirt on and wrap his arms around your waist, placing a light kiss on your temple before nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. He used to love hearing you giggle. Used to. 

About a year into your relationship he’d asked you to move in with him. Obviously you were excited. This is the first long term serious relationship you had ever been in. You really felt like George was the one for you. You really loved him.

Then everything sort of... stopped. The hugs from the back, the sleeping in his t shirt, him waking up to drive you to class. Being together all the time made all the niceness of being together fall to the wayside. There wasn’t any excitement in your relationship, even when you’d tried to surprise George with dinner and a tight dress, with a beautiful and delicate lace lingerie on underneath, he’d be working late at the library. You’d changed out of your dress and into one of your pj sets and packed up the food into the fridge by the time George got home.

Then Angelina entered the picture. She was a transfer from Oxford that George had been assigned to show around the Comp Sci department. She was brilliant and beautiful, and closer to George’s age than you were. You were a little jealous of how perfect for George she seemed. She was tall and into computers too. Her and George even started to work on their projects together. Your first reaction was to worry, but you’d convinced yourself that you were being paranoid. That it was good for George to have a friend outside of Lee and his brother Fred. That you and George had built a relationship on trust, that there is no way that he would ever be willing to throw what you had built away.

Then it happened. One night in the heat of the summer, he came home really late. You were awake, waiting for him. Sitting in your pjs watching one of your favorite movies. You had already eaten your dinner and put his in the fridge to reheat if he was hungry when he got home. So when he came back at two in the morning, you were surprised to say the least. 

“Hey babe, are you hungry? Do you want me to heat up your food,” you asked tiredly. 

He dropped his bag on the ground and huffed, causing you to look over at him. He looked utterly defeated. You immediately stood up and went over to him. Your hands went to hold the sides of his face, but he gripped your wrists before you could touch him. 

“George what the hell is going on,” you asked in a quiet worried voice. His face looked so guilty, he wouldn’t look into your eyes, your worry dropped, replaced by a sinking feeling in your stomach. “George, what did you do,” your voice was eerily calm as you pulled your hands from his grip.

His eyes finally meet yours. He looks teary, but not sad, not sorry for whatever he doesn’t want to tell you. “Y/N...” he started. 

“Don’t bullshit me George just tell me what happened.” Your eyes started to fill with tears, dreading what he would tell you. He stayed quite as you quietly yelled, not wanting to wake the neighbors. His back slid down the door until he sat on the floor. 

“I found someone else,” he said barely above a whisper. But you heard him. You wished you hadn’t.

Your jaw dropped and you backed against the wall that sat across from the door, the one that separated the kitchen from the living room in your shared apartment. You slid down as your throat felt like it was closing. You tried to blink back the tears, not wanting George to see them fall, but they slide down your cheek silently.

“I’m sorry,” he says, finally looking up from the floor to look at your stunned and hurt face. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Is that supposed to make it better,” you ask, your voice betraying you and cracking. “Is that supposed to make all of this shit better? That you didn’t mean to ‘find someone else’ after we’ve been together for almost three years? When we live together,” your voice starts to raise, as tears fall down your face with reckless abandon.

“You have to know I didn’t mean to hurt you,” his voice is raised a bit now, his head squared as he finally has the courage to make eye contact with you.

“Oh,” you ruefully laugh, “well then it’s all better then isn’t it? I’ll tell you right now that it’s a little too fucking late to say that. To say that like you haven’t been hurting me for the last year of our fucking relationship.”

“It’s not my fault that you stopped trying for us,” he stood up. 

“I stopped trying,” your feet launched you up. “I’m the one who cooks for you every single day. I’m not the one who won’t even get up to take my girlfriend to school when it’s five minutes away. I’m not the one who spends all of their free time away from their house as to avoid their girlfriend. No George, that was all you.”

“Oh don’t blame all of our issues on me. We both had a hand in the end of this relationship.”

You stormed into the bedroom to start packing some of your things to leave. You can’t stand to look at him for one more second, much less to stay in the same apartment with him for one more night. 

“What the fuck happened to betting everything on us? You swore to me that you wanted to be with me for the rest of our lives. You told me that meeting me felt like winning the lottery. What happened to that? What? Some girl comes all the way from Oxford and all of a sudden all of that was bullshit?”

“Don’t bring Angelina into this, you know we were falling away from each other before she ever came into the picture,” George grabbed your arm to get you to look at him. His face morphed from his angry excuse making mug to something much softer, showing the small part of him that still cared at all for you. When he saw your tear stained face and the pure and painful hurt in your e/c eyes.

“Get the fuck off of me George,” you shoved him with all your strength. He didn’t even fight back as he fell to sit on the bed behind him. “I’m getting as much of my stuff as I can right now.” You wipe the tears from your cheeks. “I’ll stop by tomorrow when you’re in class and get the rest of it. I’ll leave my key on the counter. Then I never want to hear from you again. I don’t want to see you if I even hear your name anywhere close to me I’ll walk away.”

“You don’t have to do all that. It’s three in the morning you have nowhere to go. I’ll leave and you can stay here for tonight,” George sighs.

“I can’t stand to be anywhere that reminds me of you right now,” you glare at him over your shoulder. “I can stay at Cedric’s for the night and figure things out from there tomorrow.” George scoffs. You roll your eyes and turn to him. “What?”

“Of course you’re running to Cedric,” he bites.

“The hell do you mean by that?”

“Nothing,” he rolls his eyes, “just seems convenient that you know you could go over to his place at this time of night. He always had a thing for you and you know it.”

You finish zipping your suitcase and stand up, looking at him. “Well it doesn’t matter now, does it? Because one of us already chose someone else.” You felt too calm. You knew you shouldn’t feel as relieved to leave as you do. That you should feel a little more crushed by the ending of your relationship. That you should be screaming and begging for more of an explanation. That it shouldn’t be as easy as it was to walk out on what you thought was going to be the rest of your life.

“Whatever, just go,” George’s eyes looked just as detached as you felt right now.

God, this is really ending, isn’t it.

#georgeweasley #george weasley #george wealsey x reader #george wealsey angst #angst #harrypotter #harry potter #muggle au

[robinofinashiro]

sypnosis: he hears from Kuroo that you’ve been getting close to someone and he comes to put an end to that. taking you back with him in the process. 

pairing: yandere! kenma kozume x fem reader

request status: OPENED 

note: HEY BESTIES!! I’M BAAAAACK. kenma might be a bit ooc but this is a yandere au so deal with it. 

both you and Kuroo had decided to attend the same college as you got into their honors program based off the results from your entrance exam. since you were Nekoma’s manager throughout Kuroo’s entire volleyball career, you both went into the sports management program at your college, hoping that you’d score some kind of volleyball internship while you still in school. 

you were kind of upset that Kenma hadn’t decided to follow you both along to the same school. he had different aspirations at a different college and it broke your heart in an odd way. it was no secret to anyone on the Nekoma team that you had your heart taken by Kenma. 

the two of you were as close as Kuroo and he were. whenever Kuroo wasn’t available, he’d end up at your house, playing games on your TV while you sat back and watched. at first, you thought that Kenma had reciprocated the same feelings but alas, once graduation came, he never ended up confessing his feelings for you. 

you were upset when he slowly started to drop you over the summer. since you were a year older than him, he remained at Nekoma while you moved over to the city where your university was located at.

eventually, you slowly started losing those feelings for him at the start of your second year.

a part of you did hope that he’d come back for you but as the year progressed, you slowly started to forget about him. you started to indulge yourself in sophomore year internships and trying to get into different managerial positions with different teams throughout the year. 

“morning Kuroo!” you whispered, sitting down at the table he was at. he gave you a smile, ruffling your hair, “you look exhausted. something keep you up at night?” he asked, seeing the dark circles under your eyes. you shook your head no, “I stayed up, face timing a friend and didn’t fall asleep until the late hours of the night,” you replied, taking a sip of your coffee.

Kuroo’s eyebrows fluttered in confusion, “who’s the friend?” he asked, now interested too hear. “he’s apart of the soccer team here,” you murmured. “I’m helping the team until the volleyball season starts up and they need me back for it,” you added on. 

while Kuroo hadn’t responded, he already knew who the guy was. Kuroo had seen you walking around campus with him before and even heard through mutual friends that you both had gone out on a few dates. at first, he didn’t know whether to believe it or not but now that you were ultimately admitting to it, he knew it was time to tell his long time best friend. 

Kuroo and Kenma although no longer attending the same university still had that strong friendship bond and one night, after both of you graduated from Nekoma, the two made a pact. one that they know would kill you if you had found out. 

right at the start of both your third year at Nekoma, Kenma and Kuroo had agreed on one thing. they had this protective nature over you. more Kenma than Kuroo as the rooster haired boy thought of you as a sister than a potential lover. 

Kenma knew that if he didn’t have a chance with you in high school, he knew the college reunion would be that much better when he saw you again. he would’ve grown more without you seeing it and he was sure that you would fall at the knees for him. 

the plan was have you go to the same university Kuroo did until Kenma made his college decision and then persuade you to transfer over after he started going there. was it a very dangerous plan probably! but Kuroo nor Kenma couldn’t have cared less. you were Kenma’s and Kuroo refused to let you slip through his fingers for some random soccer boy. 

as you were at the cafe, getting your very shitty breakfast for the morning, Kuroo made the call to Kenma. making sure to keep it short and simple.

“come tonight, it’s time.”

that was all it took for Kenma to understand where this was going. 

there was going to be an unsanctioned campus party at one of the fraternity houses that was nearby. more than likely, you were probably going attend and have Kuroo come along as your plus one. you kept him close at all times as you didn’t trust anyone enough with your drinks or bag. 

“you going to the party tonight?” Kuroo asked. you nodded yes tiredly, “yeah, a few of the boys on the team are attending and want me to come along. you’re coming right?” you asked. Kuroo shook his head yes, “yep! I have surprise for you too. make sure to dress nice,” he joked. 

you gave Kuroo a look of pure confusion but remained silent nonetheless. he never really cared for what you wore when it came to going to parties with him so you couldn’t help but wonder why he cared now. you could see the small smirk on his face and tried to figure out what he was hiding from you. 

after you finished your breakfast and headed to your first class, you kept trying to see what it was that Kuroo was going surprise you with. at first, you thought that it might’ve been Kenma but you quickly tossed that idea out when he scoffed at the guess and muttered a yeah right in response. 

by the time dinner came, you were out of ideas and had no idea what he was going to bring. you walked out of your class, stomach rumbling and ready to eat dinner before heading back to your campus apartment to start getting ready for the night. 

“Daiki, you’re coming tonight, right?” you asked the boy after his practice. he nodded, putting his arm around your shoulder, “of course. I’m your date tonight, aren’t I?” he asked a bit cocky. you rolled your eyes, trying to respond before Kuroo came up to you, “lets go. I have your dinner and don’t want it to go cold,” he stated, grabbing your wrist softly.

you gave Daiki a quick wave, “duty calls! see you tonight!” you yelled to the black haired boy before looking to Kuroo, “I was in the middle of a conversation, you ass!” you said, shrugging him off. Kuroo shrugged, “probably wasn’t important anyway,” he replied. 

you looked inside the bag, seeing your favorite food from down the street. it was extremely hard to get dinner there and even worse to try and get it Friday nights. 

“how the hell you’d pull this off? it’s always busy Friday nights!” you exclaimed, digging into the food once you back to the apartment. Kuroo chuckled, “not hard when you’re friends with the manager. say, have you kept your sweater from Nekoma?” he asked. 

you nodded, “course I did! I have the managerial sweater as well as the one Kenma gave me one time. why do you ask?” Kuroo shook his head, dismissing the question with a simple response, “my grandmother found mine the other day and just shipped it in the mail.”

“your grandma is so sweet, I hope she’s doing well with you not being home,” you muttered. “she’s happy I’m not there anymore. she doesn’t have to feed me anymore,” he joked. you rolled your eyes before looking at the time, not realizing how late it was getting, “Kuroo! shit! it’s getting late and I still have to get ready!” you yelled, instantly getting up. 

Kuroo muttered that he was already wearing what he was going to the party in, “well, I’m not about to go in a sweater and sweatpants,” you screamed from the bathroom. 

you put all your makeup onto the counter and primed your face while you dug through you closet for your clothes. you had decided on a casual dress with white converse to seal the deal. the makeup was going to be on the lighter side as you had no chance to do an entire glammed face. 

by the time you finished up your makeup, Kuroo was already pressuring for you to hurry up before it got too late. you slipped on your shoes, trying not to slip in the process, “come on!” you screamed, throwing him your bag to hold, “Daiki is waiting for me there too.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes, trying not to make it seem as though he was bothered. at the end; however, he knew how tonight was going to end. you were going to be smothered up against Kenma as you would try and accept his offer to transfer over to his university. 

even if Kenma had to act completely out of his element in order to do that, he had to do what he needed to do in order to get you back in your rightful spot. right next to him. 

“ready?” Kuroo joked, seeing the way you were panic spraying your setting spray all over your face, “yeah, get my keys. they’re in my bag,” you yelled, walking in front of him so he could lock your door. you did the final touches of your makeup in the car as Kuroo parked it a few streets down. 

you and Kuroo almost immediately got separated when you walked in. Daiki and some of the boys from the soccer team dragged you in one direction while Kuroo had gotten dragged by a few of his friends in the other direction. you knew you would be relatively safe with Daiki but every time you went to the bar to get a drink, you’d make sure no one was in close contact with it. 

the music was blaring throughout the house as you danced with a few of your girl friends to it. you hadn’t been paying attention to who was walking in through the door so as you were in the middle of dancing, you felt someone tap you on the shoulder. 

you turned around and felt your heart fall to your stomach as you realized who it was. “KENMA!” you screamed, dropping your drink on the floor and running to him. he chuckled, opening his arms for you as you engulfed him for a hug, “oh my god, Ken!” you whispered, holding him tightly. 

Kuroo gave the two of you a smirk, knowing that the plan was working out smoothly. you pulled away and looked at him, “what are you doing here? Ken, oh my god, you ass, why didn’t you tell me?” you screamed, pulling him for another hug. 

“figured a surprise would be the best idea,” he murmured, feeling his own heart race at how close you were with him, “I can’t believe you made the drive up here for this lame party,” you said grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the dance floor. 

a few minutes later, Daiki had found you with Kuroo and Kenma as he tried to figure out who Kenma was, “hey, there you are,” Daiki said happily. Kenma and Kuroo looked at him and smiled mischievously, “yeah! this is my friend Kenma! why don’t you stay with them while I get all of us drinks!” you introduced. 

Kenma looked at him with an unamused expression as soon as you gone. Daiki could feel the awkward tension radiating from the both of them, “I wouldn’t continue to chase her if I were you,” Kuroo told him, catching Daiki off guard, “he’s practically her boyfriend and it would take one kiss to make that official,” Kuroo added on. 

Daiki laughed, “oh yeah, that’s pretty interesting to hear considering I had her in my bed, moaning my name like I was her god last Friday,” Daiki retorted. 

Kenma’s eyes widened as Kuroo instantly shot up from his seat. before Kuroo could do anything, Kenma with all the strength he had pushed Kuroo aside and decked him in the nose, making sure to connect it as hard as he could. you got to the table to see Daiki on the floor, holding his bloody nose as others around them laughed at the scene. 

“what the hell happened?” you screamed, no longer caring for the drinks you waited so long for. Kenma wiped the blood from his hand on his pants, “you want to repeat what you said about her or should I?” Kenma sneered. you looked to Daiki in anger as he didn’t respond, “come on! don’t be scared now! how about you mention what you said to us. everything about you using her in order to get into her pants and making sure you treat her like the slut you said she was,” Kuroo repeated. 

your eyes widened as Kenma grabbed your wrist to make sure you didn’t do anything irrational yourself. Kuroo knew he was telling a complete lie but they needed Daiki out the way to fulfill the rest of the plan and the only way they could do that is if you absolutely hated his guts. 

“you prick!” you screamed at Daiki who was still on the ground, “and to think we actually had something!” you continued. Kenma grabbed your wrist, whispering that everything would be okay. he slowly pulled you out of the house as they saw Daiki basically thrown out himself. 

“wow, what an ass,” you whispered to Kenma as he shook it off, “how’s your hand?” you asked grabbing it. you saw it was a bit red and it would probably get bruised but at least there wasn’t any cuts. 

“fine,” he whispered pulling his hair back, the way he knew you liked it. you smiled, “seriously, what are you doing here Ken?” you asked, sitting on the steps of the front porch. “I was in town for a book I need for class,” he lied, “and I figured I would pay my favorite girl a visit,” he added on. 

bingo! 

a warm feeling came across your face as Kuroo saw the entire interaction from inside, “I also wanted to ask you a question,” he said softly. your eyebrows fluttered in confusion, “transfer over to my university. I need someone to run my company with and you’re the only one I want to do it with,” he confessed, this time with no hesitation in his voice. 

your eyes widened at the wild request. 

“Ken, you haven’t talked to me in almost a year and now you pay me a visit and expect me to follow you?” you asked with slight annoyance in your voice. Kenma sighed, “I know but after both you and Kuroo left, I felt like you weren’t going to care about me as much anymore now that you were off to college,” he replied. 

Kenma hated being this vulnerable to anyone and truthfully, what he was telling you was kind of a true but also not. he knew your schedule would be busier but he also knew that you would have made time for him if you would have kept in contact. 

“Kenma, I would always make time for you,” you whispered, “you should’ve known that. we were practically best friends.” Kenma rolled his eyes at the end of what you said, “I know but I couldn’t help it. I really need you by my side for this though. you’re the only one who understands gaming as much as I do.” 

you sighed, your heart not knowing what to do. you knew the university he attended would accept you but you also knew that just dropping your current university to follow a boy would get you killed by your parents, “and what am I going to tell my mom? that I’m transferring so I could go to school with you?” you joked. 

Kenma laughed, taking your hand softly. 

“you could say they’re raising tuition and say that my university is offering you s cheaper option,” he suggested, “I just want you to be right next to me when this takes off,” he pleaded. 

he could tell you were still hesitant on the idea but as a last resort, he knew what he had to do would get you to say yes. Kenma pulled you closer and kissed you. you were completely taken back by his actions but for the first time in what felt like years, you felt that happiness you only had with Kenma crawl back up. 

as soon as he pulled away, you smiled in a dazed state of mind, “well?” he asked. you thought for a few moments, “well, if you really need me that bad, I’m sure I can make a convincing argument to my mom on why I need to transfer,” you finally said. 

Kenma smiled gleefully, pulling you in for another kiss. you ran your fingers through his dyed blond hair as he deepened it. 

without your knowledge, Kenma looked through the window to see Kuroo standing in front of it. Kenma gave him a thumbs up, indicating the plan worked. Kuroo smiled in response as Kenma continued to kiss you with a smirk playing on his face. 

what you didn’t know wouldn’t kill you, right? 

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #yandere haikyuu #kenma kozume x reader #kenma kozume imagine #kenma kozume x you #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsuro imagine

[bangchanstudio]

Never Have I Ever | Changbin (2/?)

pairing: seo changbin x fem! reader

genre: university au, awkward friends to ? something more?, smut, mild angst, dom!changbin tendencies?, oral (giving)

tw: sex..ish

word count: 4.6k

ch.one // ch.three

synopsis: you couldn’t for the life of you remember what the fuck happened at the party that made Changbin avoid you like the plague. your friends clearly succeed in their quest to get you drunk, but now you’re left wondering what happened after you went into that room with Changbin. It bothered you so much that you ended up at his door step in the middle of the night looking for clarity, instead you found yourself in other shit.

note: again, i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing, but i hope you like it! I’m going to start a taglist for this, if you want to be added let me know in the tags or send me a message!

“What the hell was that?” No one would look at you.

Seungmin was sipping on his iced peach tea looking rather interested in his nails, Jinnie was clearing his throat and touching up his face in his little compact mirror, Felix was playing god knows what on his phone and Jisung was just straight up staring at the ceiling.

“Hello?” You said, snapping your fingers in everyone’s face. “Is no one going to answer?”

Seungmin looked at Jinnie, who in turn looked at Felix who just shrugged before saying, “She’ll find out eventually.”

“What will she find out eventually? That my friends are all backstabbing assholes? Well, she already knows that!” You massaged your temple remembering the events of the night before. Never have I ever, admitting your secrets, sitting on Changbin’s lap, and then worse: getting locked in the bedroom with him watching explicit videos before being allowed freedom. There was something else… but your mind was too fuzzy to remember exactly what.

Frustrated you reached for your phone that was face down on the cafe table, mumbling about how unfair all of this was.

Jisung sighed before wrapping his arms around your shoulders, snuggling his cheek to yours, “Don’t be upset, (Y/N). We were just trying to have a little fun.”

Out of all of your friends, the one you couldn’t ever be mad at was Jisung. There was just something about him that made you want to protect him, he was funny and sweet. He was always the first one to notice when you were upset and made it his personal life goal to make you smile. While, you had never been mad at him before, you were pretty close to being mad at him now.

“Fun at the expense of my sanity?” You pouted accepting Ji’s hug and snuggled into the crook of his neck. Your eyes locked on Hyunjin’s who was seated across from you, his beautiful chocolate brown eyes that looked lighter today. They were loud and calculating. You could tell he was, for once, thinking of what he should say.

“Yes, because your sanity is exactly what I plan on destroying.” He smirked his mean girl smile before excusing himself for his next class.

One by one everyone left until it was just you and your laptop. There was an empty word document pulled up on half the screen and the other half was displaying the most recent chapter of Freaking Romance webtoon. Studying wasn’t your strong suit and neither was focusing on a single task for more than a few minutes at a time.

“What an asshole,” You mumbled to your screen, clicking your pen ferociously.

“Oi,” Chan greeted before dumping a textbook on the table startling you and causing the pen you were beating to fall to the floor.

Reaching over to grab it another hand beat you to it. You looked up and came face to face with Changbin.

“Shit,” you said. You tried sitting up straight too quickly and bumped heads with him on the way up, “I’m so sorry.”

Idiot! Why are you being so jumpy? You scolded yourself, rubbing the top of your head that clashed with Changbin’s. Your cheeks turned red as the memory of you sitting on his lap last night came rushing back. The way his eyebrow raised when you drank to kissing a girl, the way his eyes fixated on yours as you drank to “Never have I ever thought of someone else while having sex”, the way his hands clenched in his jacket pockets up on the rooftop, to following him into the bedroom to watch p*rn, to… what else happened? Your memory was still too fuzzy to recall anything other than his back as you followed him into the bedroom. The feeling of a memory being just out of reach annoyed you.

“I just came to give this back,” Chan said placing the book he borrowed next to your laptop. It was Hermann Hesse’s “Demian”, you let Chan borrow it at the start of summer, you honestly thought he had lost it or threw it away.

“It took you six months to read one book? I thought you threw it away or something.” You laughed, flipping through your old book remembering when you had read it for the very first time. Now, it smelled like Chan’s room. “Anyways, what happened last night? I don’t remember much just waking up on the couch, but no one was home.”

Under normal circumstances and to normal friend groups that might not have been the weirdest thing, but to your friends that was abnormal. Everyone knew the passcode to your apartment and you often found one or multiple of the guys there unexpectedly. When you had your get togethers everyone stayed over, always, at least until noon the following day or whenever you had classes. This morning was the first time you woke up after a party to an empty place.

“Oh, we just-“ Chan started before being interrupted by Changbin dragging him away by his backpack. You weren’t sure, since his cap was hiding his face like usual, but you could have sworn his face was… red.

“Sorry (Y/N) we’re late for something and I gotta steal this guy.” Changbin shouted before rushing out the door, Chan practically fell over in the process.

Well, that was weird.

—

Changbin was avoiding you, again. This time you knew for sure he was avoiding you. It had been 2 weeks since your get together and anytime he so much as spotted you within a 20-foot radius he would turn on his heels and disappear. No matter how hard you pushed for someone to tell you something, no one budged. Everyone insisted that you both went into the room, watched one video and that was the end of that. If that were true then why was Changbin avoiding you like the plague?

Was he really that freaked out over watching some vanilla p*rn?

“(Y/N), can I ask you something?” Chan was cooking breakfast in the kitchen while you finished citing your sources for Lit.

“Mm?”

“You know Changbin likes you, right?”

Your fingers stopped typing, eyes snapping over to Chan from the table, “He what?”

Chan came around placing a small plate of eggs and toast in front of you before taking a seat. “Changbin likes you.”

Maybe smoking really was bad for you after all. “I’m sorry, what did you say? I thought I heard you say that Changbin likes me.”

A nervous laughed left your lips as you sipped at your morning coffee. The warmth soothing your building nerves.

Chan was giving you that look again. The one where he lets you see the honesty in his eyes and on his face. He was really handsome, like really handsome. Even though you started out having a crush on him, that quickly faded into pure platonic love for him after the first few months of being friends. He was too kind and pure for you after all. Chan was good; you doubted you were. No matter how much you searched his face, his eyes, his lips for a twitch or some kind of giveaway that he was lying, anything.

There was nothing. 
He was telling the truth.

“Seo Changbin, likes you.” Chan said, emphasizing every single word as if to get it through your thick skull.

You squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head, “If that were true, then why is he avoiding me?” You didn’t mean to sound so annoyed, especially when it wasn’t even Chan whom you were annoyed with, you couldn’t help it. Part of you felt like this whole party had been a set up just to embarrass you.

Chan raked his hands through his hair in mild annoyance, but he usually wasn’t one to get annoyed in the first place so any time he displayed any type of annoyance it made you flinch. “I don’t know, (Y/N), why don’t you just ask him?”

That was a lie.

The blinking of the line where you left off typing was your only source of distraction. You didn’t want to look up. Why am I like this?, you thought, just talk to Changbin. Stop making things awkward.

—

It was late probably close to midnight. Your whole day was spent contemplating Chan’s words, flipping them around and upside down. Picking them apart and putting them back together to form “Changbin likes you.” Before you realized what you were doing you found yourself outside of Changbin’s apartment. He transferred a week into the semester which is why he wasn’t placed with one of the guys.

“Can I help you?” You jumped as a tall guy appeared seemingly out of nowhere. He had a backpack slung over his shoulder and textbooks in the other.

“Oh, s-sorry, I was just looking for a friend.” You stuttered waving to the door.

“Does this friend have a name?”

“Changbin.”

The guy nodded telling you to follow him inside the apartment. He said something about it not being wise to leave a girl out in the cold. After you stepped into the warm apartment you were grateful. Your thoughts had consumed you to the point of not even grabbing a jacket when you left your place. He said his name was Sam and that he was going to be gone that night, so to feel free to stay over. You blushed and told him he was mistaking the situation. Sam seemed nice enough.

He called out for Changbin as he walked into his room.

“I’m in the shower!” You heard Changbin call out.

“There’s someone here to see you!” Sam called back.

“Be out in a sec!”

Sam gave you kind smile, “Make yourself at home, I just came to get change of clothes.”

He was in and out of his room in seconds, leaving you alone in the quiet apartment, the only sound coming from the shower. Changbin had music playing in the bathroom and you sat nervously on the couch, scolding yourself for coming here in the first place.

It’s not like you planned to confess your feelings for him. Maybe you just wanted things to go back to the way they were, back to those long afternoons in your high school hideout where everyone laughed and cried together. Where you fought and made up. Where you did homework and tried cheap drugs together. Back to when you didn’t fear holding onto Changbin, in that dark forest, because you trusted him with your life.

The click of the bathroom door opening broke through your thoughts.

“Oh, it’s you.” Changbin was shirtless, with only joggers and a towel wrapped around his shoulders. You tried to avert your gaze as fast as possible, biting your lip to keep yourself from squealing, your face flushed. How could he be so hot? His arms looked bigger than Chan’s now, and his chest could no undoubtedly be dubbed the eighth wonder of the world. “What are you doing here?”

“I just… came to see you.” Great response. There was no way you could stay here, “Maybe I should come back later, I didn’t realize it was this late. Honestly, I’m not even sure how I ended up here…”
 “No, it’s okay. You can stay.” Changbin said stepping closer before realizing he was still half naked. He lifted his towel from around his shoulders to dry his hair, “Wait here, I’m just going to grab a shirt.”

When he came back he offered you a glass of water, apologizing for not having anything better like tea or coffee.

“It was my roommates turn to do the grocery shopping but he’s pre-med and forgets shit easily.” He said from the opposite side of the couch.

You sat cross legged facing him from your side. Just being this close to him gave you those annoying butterflies in your tummy. Changbin mindlessly flipped through the channels of the TV before deciding on a horror movie.

“So… why are you really here?” You were expecting the question from the moment you stepped foot into the apartment, but still hadn’t worked out a decent answer. Changbin turned to face you straight on for the first time that night.

His face was unreadable, the way it usually was. Damp hair, dark eyes, fresh skin.

“I came to ask… if I did something wrong at the party?” The surprise was clear on his face, he wasn’t expecting that. “I don’t really remember anything after we walked into the room other than what we were suppose to do. And well, I feel like you’ve sort of been avoiding me since then. I know we don’t really talk anymore, but it just seemed like you were actively avoiding me these days… I just thought maybe there was a reason.. ?”

Changbin searched your face before looking down and smirking. “You really don’t remember anything? Like.. at all?”

You shook your head, the worry in your chest building. What if you said something pervy or worse, tried to seduce him? The thought made you visibly shake.

“Nope, nothing.”

He shrugged, “We watched porn. You chose. It was a pretty good video. After that I left and you stayed.”

Something still felt off, there was still something missing. While, you didn’t know Changbin’s tells as well as you did Chan’s, you still felt as if he was holding something back, “Really? That’s what Seungmin told me but I just feel like there’s something missing.”

You squinted, and spaced out before bring the glass of water up to your teeth and tapping it slightly against them.

The only memories that seemed to comeback were feelings of heat and something grabbing your jaw…

“Oh my fuck!” You shouted as a blood curling scream echoed from the movie scaring you half way to death. The mostly full glass of water you just had was now empty in your lap, your white t-shirt and jeans soaked. “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

Changbin laughed as he got up and helped you, taking the glass off of your lap and placing it on the side table.

“Why are you apologizing to me? You’re the one who’s drenched. Come here, I’ll let you borrow some clothes.” You followed Changbin into his room. It was painted a dark grey and decorated with the basics: a bed, desk, recording equipment — of course — and a laptop. There was something else on his desk that caught your attention.

It was your high school Photo ID card, senior year.

“You still have this?” You asked smiling and turning to show him the card. It was customary for friends to trade Photo ID cards at the end of school years, usually middle schoolers and high schoolers did so. There was no particular reason why you gave yours to Changbin other than the fact that he was the first one to ask you for it. Jisung pouted for days afterwards, but you reminded him he had your junior year ID card. He still didn’t give it up easily.

Changbin’s cheeks turned a light pink, “Oh, yeah. It’s cute.”

“Didn’t really take you for the sentimental type.” You mumbled bitterly before placing the card back on his desk.

“What is that suppose to mean?” There was hurt in his voice.

When did he step closer?

“I just figured you weren’t that sentimental…” You trailed off distracting yourself with looking around his room, anywhere but at him. “You didn’t seem to care.”

The words slipped out before you could swallow them. You squeezed your eyes shut, exhaling. “Maybe I should just go. Coming here was a bad idea.”

You tried brushing past him but he caught your wrist with a tight grip. He didn’t pull you back, but he didn’t let you go either.

“I’m sorry… for leaving.”

Your eyes widened in shock.

The truth was, it wasn’t all his parents fault. He could have stayed if he wanted to, but he didn’t. You didn’t find that out until later though, one night when Jinnie was too drunk for his own good and was scolding you for not trying to move on. He called it the worst break up to never exist. Whatever that was suppose to mean. There was no hiding your true feelings from your friends, they all knew you were in love with Changbin, even if you were too stubborn to admit it to yourself. It was stupid, you were nothing to Changbin, he didn’t have a reason to stay in the first place.

“The truth is, I was scared of falling in love with you… so I ran away.” His grip tightened around your wrist, you wondered if maybe he’d cut your circulation.

His words made your heart sink.

“Am I really that terrible, that you’d rather leave than want me?” Your voice was small, the tears you were trying so desperately to keep at bay were blurring your vision. Your fists were clenched tight, you could feel your nails leaving moon marks on your palms.

“I was scared of hurting you, (Y/N). That’s why. There are things about me that you don’t know, things I’ve never shared with anyone. Things I’ve done that I’m not proud of. Things that could have hurt you, things that could have put you in danger. Not only you but everyone else too.” His voice was so full of pain, all you wanted to do was take it away.

You turned to face him, he was breathing a little heavier, and his voice was shaking. In that moment it was as if you were scared teenagers again.

“You didn’t have to push us away like that, Changbin. We could have helped you, we could have come up with a plan or—“ You weren’t sure what he meant by putting you all in danger but you knew if you were all together, there was nothing that could stop you. “Why didn’t you let us in?”

The tears spilled over, running down your cheeks, your voice was weak. You covered your mouth with your freehand closing your eyes trying to center yourself again, trying desperately to get a hold of yourself. There was nothing worse than letting people see you cry.

“I didn’t realize..” Changbin didn’t finish his sentence, instead he pulled you to his chest wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in the crook of your neck, “I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

He was warm.. he always was. You could feel his heartbeat racing, and his breathing hitch as if he was trying to hold back his feelings too.

You hid your face in his chest, sobs escaping your lips, fists clenched on the hem of his t-shirt. Minutes passed; it felt like hours. Neither of you spoke a word, instead the room was echoed with your small sniffles. The sound of Changbin’s heartbeat returned to normal after awhile and you felt like you could sleep for days after that long cry.

“Sorry for crying,” It took you a minute to find your voice, “I think I’m going crazy.”

Changbin brushed your hair to the side, “Stop apologizing. It’s okay. I’m the one who is sorry.”

You looked up at him, still with his arms around you. His eyes were soft and mesmerizing, they reminded you of home. His lips were also pretty and plump, you wanted so desperately to feel them against your own. Just once…

Before you could stop yourself you reached on your tip-toes to meet Changbin’s lips. They were softer than you imagined, like silk or cream. He tensed under your touch before you felt him relax and close his eyes. His hands at the small of your back pushed your body closer to his, your still wet t-shirt making you shiver.

Or was it his touch that made you tremble?

You brought your hands up to his hair, fluffy and soft from being air dried. What started out as a sweet and small kiss soon turned into a deeper and hungrier affair. Your were starting to moan slightly into his mouth when he pulled back.

“I didn’t realize this is what kissing you would feel like.” He breathed, pupils dilated, his breathing was shallow. “Can we keep doing this?”

You nodded pulling him back into your lips, teeth teasing his bottom lip, you felt him smile. Changbin walked you both backwards before finding the edge of his mattress and sitting on it, back to the headboard.

The wet of your clothes was making you shake so you unzipped your pants and pulled them down, kicking them to the side. There was a tshirt folded up on Changbin’s night stand that you grabbed pulling it over your head and on top of your wet one. Then you pulled your arms into your wet one taking it off without revealing yourself to him any more than you already had.

“Nice trick,” Changbin laughed as you discard the wet t-shirt. His fit you big like a mini dress, you felt cute in it brushing your hair behind your ear. “Come here.”

He grabbed your hand, pulling you onto his lap. His body was warm and strong. You felt shy straddling him and couldn’t help burying your face in his shoulder and squealing.

“What are we doing?” You whined making Changbin laugh, the vibrations of his chest running through your hands.

“Whatever you want, baby.” He chimed.

You straighten immediately, “Baby? Since when am I baby?”

“Ever since you made your way onto my lap.” He was so cocky, it turned you on.

His lips crashed on yours with more fever than before, his hands gripping your cold thighs before making their way up and squeezing your ass. He moaned at the feeling of his hands on your skin, the sound was sweet and filled your ears with pleasure. His tongue teased your lips before you granted him access to meet yours, teasing him with your tongue before letting him dominate. You giggled at the sensation, making him laugh too.

“What?” He asked his voice getting lower and raspier, you could hear the smirk in it. “Do you like it when I win?”

“Maybe.” You confessed. You weren’t exactly a full dom, but for Changbin all you wanted was to be a sub. You laid your head on his shoulder, catching your breath. He grabbed your jaw forcing you look him in the eyes.

“What do you want me to do, baby?” His fingers were rough against the skin of your jaw, your eyes wide at the motion. His eyes were so dark, so lusty, so hungry for you. “If you tell me to stop—.”

You shook your head viciously, “No, it’s okay. I wa—“ You stopped yourself from sounding so desperate, what the hell was wrong with you.

“What do you want, baby, come on.. don’t be shy.” Fuck, his voice was so sexy saying those words.

You closed your eyes trying to control your lust.

Bad move. Changbin squeezed your jaw harder with his hand. “Look at me when I talk to you.”

Look at me when I talk to you.

Suddenly, your memory came rushing back from the night of the party. You remembered watching the video, getting hot. Changbin saying how pretty your lips would look around his cock. The way he slipped his fingers in your mouth and your tongue wrapping around them. The way he held your jaw in place as he threatened to dominate you.

How badly you wanted to taste him.

You opened your eyes with new hunger pouring out of them.

“Didn’t you say something about wanting to see my pretty lips around your cock back at the party?” You asked knowingly. Changbin looked at you in shock, his jaw opening before composing himself.

“Did my hand bring back your memory?” He asked cooly.

You nodded biting your lip. “Do you want me show you?”

His bulge had been growing since the moment he saw you in your wet white t-shirt.

“I’ll take whatever you give.” Changbin said making himself comfortable against his pillows.

You moved off of his lap and wasted no time in pushing his joggers and boxers down his thighs, exposing his hard, warm cock. You tried hiding the surprise on your face but nothing got past Changbin.

“What? Like what you see?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“It’s nice.” You admitted before taking him in your hand, testing the waters. He was bigger than you thought, thicker and longer. You were confident in your skills at sucking someone off but you actually wondered if you could even take all of him in your mouth.

Guess there was only one way to find out.

“Fuck, baby that feels so good.” Changbin hummed, his hand taking a fistful of your hair trying to guide you. He definitely did not fit in your mouth, but what didn’t fit was compensated by your hands. You hollowed your cheeks, always mindful of your teeth. Your tongue swirled around the tip before taking as much of him in as you could. You looked up to find Changbin watching you, making eye contacted just made you wet your panties even more so than they already were. His hips bucked into your mouth making you gag. The sensation causing Changbin to throw his head back, releasing a string of curses under his breath and mentions of how pretty you looked.

You took him out of your mouth with a pop to take a breath, but kept the pace with your hands.

“Do my lips look as pretty as you imagined?” You asked, innocently batting your eyelashes. The move was slutty but it made you feel sexy.

“So much better than I could have imagined.” He groaned in pleasure as you took him in again, deep, gagging, “Fuck, you really are good at this.”

“Mmm.” You mused, the vibrations making him buck his hips into your mouth again.

You could taste his sweet precum start to spill out the sides of your mouth, and your jaw started to ache but that didn’t stop you from sucking and licking his length. You could tell he was getting close to his peak by the way his breathing started to shallow out, the way his hips seemed to buck more frequently. His moans coming faster and louder.

Before he could break, he yanked you off of him by your hair, the pain rushing through you.

“Fuck! Changbin, what the hell was that for?” You shouted rubbing your scalp. 
 “I was about to spill in your mouth,” He said as if he was doing you a favor.

“You could have just said so!”

“Shh!!” Changbin said covering your mouth with the hand that was previously tied up in your hair. You squinted your eyes at him, but then you heard the front door click and footsteps approaching Changbin’s open door.

“Hey Changbin, sorry for stopping by so late but could you do me a fav— holy shit!” Chan shouted covering his eyes and turning around. “Shit I— I’m so sorry!”

It would have been easy to hid what you were doing if it wasn’t for your face being so close to Changbin’s lap still and his dick hanging out.

“Chan, what the fuck!” You shouted throwing a pillow at him.

“What?! How was I suppose to know you were here?” He asked defensively, flinching from the pillow but still facing the opposite direction.

“Get out!”

“Yeah sorry, oh my god. I’m leaving, fuck this. You guys are crazy. You avoid each other like the plague one minute then I walk in on this.” Chan muttered to himself all the way to the front door.

You and Changbin stared at each other processing what the hell just happened. Well, what the hell just happened in it’s entirety.

“What the fuck..” Changbin said, cracking in to a smile first and laughing.

“What the fuck.” You echoed laughing harder, still in shock of your best friend walking in on you sucking a guy off.

But not just any guy,

You just sucked off Seo Changbin.

#seo changbin #changbin #skz #stray kids #changbin x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #changbin scenarios #seo changbin scenarios #skz scenarios #changbin smut #changbin imagines #seo changbin smut #skz smut #skz hard #nhie2 #nhie #myfic

[buoyantsaturn]

Riding Bikes Across the Street Without Looking Either Way (2/2)

summary: “Well, you can stay with me and Annabeth as long as you need to, okay? We’ve got a shitty couch with your name on it, and we’ll make sure your dad never finds you.”

word count: 3,955

read on ao3 | read chapter one

Nico hadn’t slept in three days by the time he arrived at Percy’s apartment late at night, around two days after he’d left home. He’d barely stopped along the way, so when Annabeth opened the door for him, she looked like she’d seen a ghost. (At this point, Nico felt like he might as well be one.) 

“Oh my god,” Annabeth said as she grabbed Nico’s shoulder to pull him inside, drawing him straight into a hug. “Neeks, you look like shit. Are you-- Are you bleeding?”

Nico refrained from reaching up to check his head, and looked to the side in an attempt to stop Annabeth from looking too closely, though she took his face in her hands and turned his head back the other way. “I’m fine,” Nico muttered when Annabeth gasped. 

“You are not,” she argued. “You’re going to the hospital.”

“I just drove for two days, I don’t wanna drive anymore,” Nico told her. “Can’t I sleep first?” 

“Oh, you are not driving like this,” Annabeth said as she started further into the apartment. “You probably shouldn’t have driven in the first place! Wait here. Percy just put Luke down for the night, but he’ll take you.” 

Then Annabeth disappeared around the corner, so Nico stood in the doorway with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat. He let his eyes fall shut and his head tip forward, and just about fell asleep standing up until his body started to lean, and he startled awake to catch himself. When he opened his eyes, Percy was there with his coat in hand and concern written across his face. 

Nico blinked up at him, and Percy seemed to take that as his invitation to draw Nico in for a hug. Nico flinched back when Percy got too close to the wound on the side of his head, so Percy jumped back like he’d been shocked. “Dude,” Percy whispered, his eyes full of something like pity that made Nico’s stomach turn. Percy pulled on his coat and held out a hand. “Alright, give me your keys.” 

For a second, Nico didn’t move. He wanted to argue, to say he was too tired and that they could just go in the morning, but he didn’t want to get hit again. (Percy wouldn’t hit him, would he?) Nico took the keys out of his pocket and dropped them into Percy’s hand. 

They walked down to the road and got into Nico’s car. It wasn’t until they were a few minutes down the road that Percy tried asking what happened, though Nico wasn’t very willing to share. He hadn’t told Percy much more than things have gotten worse and I’m coming to New York, so he was sure that Percy was more worried for him than he was letting on. Percy’s mind was probably reeling over all the different things that might have happened to leave Nico in such a state, but Nico couldn’t bring himself to say it. 

He let Percy guess, though he never got very specific. Percy had narrowed it down to Hades and drinking, though Nico knew those weren’t hard to figure out. 

When they sat down in the hospital’s waiting room, Percy finally said, “You know you’ll have to tell the doctor what happened, right? I mean, maybe they can help you, like, file a police report or something.” 

Nico was shaking his head before Percy had even finished talking. “I don’t want to file a report,” he insisted. “I don’t… I don’t wanna think about it anymore, and I don’t want him to know where I am.”

“Oh. Right, of course,” Percy said quietly, then wrapped an arm around Nico’s shoulders to bring him into a side-hug. “Well, you can stay with me and Annabeth as long as you need to, okay? We’ve got a shitty couch with your name on it, and we’ll make sure your dad never finds you.”

“Thanks,” Nico whispered, and his head fell onto Percy’s shoulder. “Um, and can you do me a favor?”

“Yeah, of course.” 

“When we get back to your place, can you call Seph? Just to let her know I got here safely, but...don’t say where I am. And then delete her number. Maybe block it, too.” 

Percy rubbed his arm. “Yeah, man, I can do that.” 

A moment later, Nico’s name was called, and he tensed. “Will you come back with me?” he asked Percy as he got to his feet, and Percy nodded. A nurse took them into the emergency room and had Nico sit on one of the beds to wait for the doctor.

Another minute or two passed before a man with curly brown hair and a lab coat approached and said, “Hi there, Mr. di Angelo. I’m Doctor Markowitz, and I’ll be taking care of your examination before my supervisor comes over. It says on your form here that you have a head injury, do you want to tell me a little more about that while I take a look?” 

Nico ducked his head and shrugged. Markowitz glanced toward Percy, who said, “He doesn’t want to talk about it.” 

“Okay, noted,” Markowitz said as he pulled on a pair of gloves. He stepped up to Nico’s side and located the wound quickly, carefully brushing away Nico’s hair to get a better look at it. “Can you at least tell me what made the wound?” 

“A glass bottle,” Nico muttered, and averted his gaze when Percy’s eyes widened. 

“Glass?” Markowitz repeated, then took a closer look. “Well, it doesn’t look like there’s any broken pieces in here, so that’s good.” 

“The bottle didn’t break,” Nico replied. “I don’t think.” 

“Must’ve been one heavy-duty bottle to hit you this hard and not break,” Markowitz commented, and Nico suppressed a flinch. “Alright, hang tight for just a minute while I call my supervisor over. I’m thinking you’re going to need a CT scan to rule out a concussion, and possibly an X-ray to make sure your skull is all in one piece. I’ll be right back.” 

As soon as the doctor was out of sight, Percy turned to Nico and asked, “He hit you with a glass bottle?”

Nico folded his arms over his stomach, one hand wrapping around his other arm. He didn’t respond. He didn’t have time to, either, before Percy’s phone started to ring. 

“It’s Annabeth,” he said, “probably just checking in. I’ll be right back, okay?” 

And then Percy was gone, too, and Nico’s hand gripped tighter. He could hear Percy at first, answering the call and saying that they’d already talked to a doctor, but then his voice dropped lower and Nico had to strain to hear it. 

“He’s not acting like himself,” Percy whispered. “It’s like he’s fifteen again, he’s barely even talking to me.” A pause, and then, “Can that happen? Can something like this make him, like, regress, or whatever?” Nico’s fingernails began clawing at his skin. “Oh, the doctor’s coming back. I’ll let you know what’s up as soon as I can.” 

On top of a moderate concussion, Nico had a skull fracture, was severely dehydrated, and had reached the point of exhaustion that the doctors were surprised to still see him upright. Nico declined an IV drip of fluids and something that would help him sleep, insisting that he just wanted to leave, so Percy drove him home with a prescription that basically boiled down to rest. 

Nico passed out on the couch as soon as they were inside, and didn’t wake for almost twenty hours. When he did finally awaken, he got up to find Annabeth in the kitchen making dinner. 

“Hey, Neeks,” she said as she stirred a pot of pasta. “How are you feeling?” 

“Fine,” he replied, folding his arms across his stomach and eying the stove. “Can I help?” 

Annabeth raised an eyebrow at him. “Shouldn’t you be resting?” 

“I just did.” Nico’s nose scrunched up at the idea of sitting on that couch any longer. “I’m rested. So, can I help?” 

“Why don’t you see if you can help Percy with Luke, instead?” 

Nico hesitated. “But I like cooking.” 

“Do you like babies?” 

“I...don’t know.” 

“Well, if you’re going to be staying with us for a little while, then I’d like to know that you’re comfortable around my son,” Annabeth told him. “You never know, I might ask you to babysit. So, go hang out with Luke, and I’ll shout for everyone when this is ready.” 

Nico huffed and said, “Fine,” then turned out of the kitchen. Before he could fully leave, though, he stopped himself and said, “Actually, um. After dinner, do you think you could help me with something?” 

“Maybe,” she replied, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. “What is it?” 

“I need to change my phone number.” 

Annabeth nodded. “Yeah, we’ll figure that out.” 

As it turned out, Nico got along with Luke just fine. It was almost easier than hanging out with adults, he realized, because he didn’t feel the need to try to hold a conversation. Luke could only say a handful of words, anyway. Nico spent a good half hour just holding blocks whenever Luke gave them to him. 

As dinner came and went, Nico learned what sorts of things Luke could and couldn’t eat, and then later on watched how to go about putting Luke to sleep at night. Apparently parenting was easier than people made it seem. How had Hades messed up so bad?

When the living room was once again baby-free, Annabeth sat down with Nico to help him figure out how to change his phone number. Percy was laying across the floor for some reason, and had been asking Nico about college in an attempt to get his mind off of running away from home. Unfortunately, that wasn’t really something Nico wanted to talk about, either. 

“So, do you need to, like, transfer to a new school or something?” Percy asked as he tossed one of Luke’s toys into the air above him. “You know, since you can’t go to class.” 

“It’s all online,” Nico replied. He was watching Annabeth work from the opposite end of the couch because the brightness of his phone screen hurt his head. “I talked to somebody at NYU last summer about doing all online classes.”

“Are you sure you’ll be able to do that?” Annabeth asked. “You can’t even look at your phone long enough to see who’s texting you.”

“And that doctor said you need to avoid screens for at least a week, didn’t he?” Percy added. 

Nico felt his heart rate rise as his anxiety spiked again. “Well, what day is it?” he asked, hoping his voice wasn’t shaking as much as his hands were. “Maybe I’ll have time to rest before my classes start.” 

“It’s Wednesday, the…” Percy drew out the last word as he pulled out his phone, “...sixth. When do your classes start?” 

Nico dropped his head into his hands. “Two days ago.” 

“Okay, no big deal,” Annabeth said without raising her eyes from her laptop screen. “Just email your professors to explain the problem, and ask for an extension on anything you missed.” 

“But I won’t be able to do anything for another week, and at that point, I’ll be two weeks behind in, like, half of my classes,” Nico complained, scrubbing his hands over his face and then scraping his hair back from his face. “And then what if I can’t catch up? Maybe I should just take the semester off.”

“Alright, take a breath.” Annabeth reached over and set a hand on Nico’s arm, but he flinched out from under the touch. “I think you should sleep on it. There’s no need to make such an impulsive decision.” 

Nico pulled his knees up to his chest and dropped his gaze to the floor. “No. It’s better if I drop the classes now instead of having to withdraw later. I’ll just start up again in the fall.” 

He glanced up again just in time to see Annabeth and Percy sharing a worried look. He grabbed onto his arm and squeezed. 

The apartment was too small for three adults. Maybe if Nico hadn’t had to sleep on the couch, then he would’ve been less of an inconvenience to Percy and Annabeth. He tried to make up for it in other ways. He cooked whenever he could, and he washed the dishes every night. Nico was trusted enough to look after Luke on his own for short periods of time - if Percy needed to run out to the store while Annabeth was in class or at work, usually. 

Still, Nico was in the way. He hadn’t quite assimilated into their home, and he’d heard them whispering late at night when they all should have been asleep that money was tight. 

Things came to a head when Nico finished off a pot of coffee one morning, assuming that the others had gotten their share. He was feeding Luke so that Annabeth could get out the door in time for class when Percy stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake and already grumpy. He grabbed a mug out of the cabinet before reaching for the empty pot and freezing at the sight.

He slammed the pot back into place, and Nico flinched.

“Damn it, Nico, did you drink all the coffee?” Percy snapped.

Nico sunk in his seat, hoping to appear as small as possible. He watched Percy pick up his mug again, and imagined it shattering against his skull. He wound his arms around his stomach and ducked his head. 

“The least you could do is make another pot,” Percy continued. “God.”

“Sorry.” Nico pushed his chair back, the legs screeching against the floor and making him flinch again. “Sorry.” He was up on his feet one second, and then he blinked, and he was in the living room. He could hear his pulse in his ears. His head darted back and forth, but there was nowhere to hide. 

Oh god, why wasn’t there anywhere to hide? 

He couldn’t hide in the bathroom, because Annabeth was in there. He couldn’t hide in either bedroom, because the doors didn’t have locks. 

He went into Luke’s room anyway. Nico figured he would have a better chance at hiding underneath the crib then he would Percy’s bed. And then, when he shut the door behind himself, he saw the window. 

The fire escape.

Nico pulled the curtains loose and climbed out the window before sliding it shut. He heard Percy shouting for him as he sat down on the nearest step. He almost got up and ran down the fire escape just to make sure he wouldn’t get hit. Instead, he stayed perfectly still to ensure that the creaking of the fire escape wouldn’t give him away. 

He only wished he’d brought a jacket.

Nico was blowing on his fingers to keep them warm when the window slid open. He must have already been frozen to the step, or maybe it was the panic that kept him from jumping up and running away. 

“Nico,” Annabeth breathed with a sigh of relief. She held a hand out to him. “What the hell are you doing out here? Get inside, it’s freezing!” 

Nico hesitated. “Is...Percy gone?” 

Annabeth frowned, waving her hand impatiently. “What are you talking about? Why would he be gone?”

Nico stuffed his hands under his arms and ducked his head. Of course Percy wouldn’t be gone. He lived there. It was Nico that was always going to have to run away.

“Do you need him to be gone?” Annabeth asked gently. 

Nico shrugged. 

Annabeth sighed, and Nico tensed. She sounded annoyed. “Alright, don’t move.” 

Then she shut the window. Maybe she locked it, too, so that Nico wouldn’t be able to get back inside. He would freeze to death out there, and he could finally stop being everybody’s problem. 

The window opened again, and Annabeth poked her head out. “I told him to back off. He won’t come into Luke’s room while we’re in here, so would you please come back inside?” She held her hand out to him again, and this time, Nico took it. Her hand was unnaturally warm, or maybe he had let himself get colder than he thought. 

Nico’s bare feet touched the carpet and he immediately dropped to the floor while Annabeth shut the window behind him. She wrapped him up in a blanket and wound her arms around his shoulders. “Tell me what happened, Nico.” 

“I…” His teeth started chattering. Why was he shivering now that he was back in the warmth? “I drank the last of the coffee. I thought Percy already had some.”

“So your solution was the freeze to death in repentance?” 

“He was mad,” Nico whispered, his arms tightening around his knees. “I thought he was gonna hit me.” 

“Nico,” Annabeth said, her voice stern but not harsh, “you know Percy would never hit you. He loves you.” 

“I thought my dad loved me.” 

Annabeth pressed her forehead to the top of Nico’s head. “Neeks, this isn’t working out.” 

Nico’s next breath caught in his throat, and he felt his eyes sting with the beginnings of tears. 

Annabeth started rubbing his back. “I know we said that you could stay here as long as you need, but… Nico, this place isn’t big enough for all of us, and Percy and I… Our money is spread so thin already that we’re constantly stressed about paying the bills on time, and having you here too… We can’t walk on eggshells in our own home. I’m sorry, Nico. We love you, and we’re not kicking you out, but we need to start looking for another option for you. And maybe a therapist, too.” 

Nico dropped his head onto his knees as his tears started to fall. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m messing everything up. I never should’ve come here, I’m sorry.” 

“No, Nico, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Annabeth assured him. “And I’m glad you came here and got away from your dad. I’m glad you’re safe. And I’m sorry that Percy’s such an ass when he doesn’t get his coffee right away. I should’ve warned you about that.” 

“Not your fault,” Nico muttered.

Annabeth patted his shoulder. “Not yours, either. Are you gonna be okay?” 

Nico hesitated, then nodded. 

“Do you think you’re ready to talk to Percy?” she asked. “I think he’d like to apologize.” 

“Yeah,” Nico said, still nodding. “I’m ready.” 

Annabeth stood, then offered a hand to help Nico to his feet. She led the way out of the room and toward the living room where Percy was sitting on the floor with Luke, and as soon as Percy saw them, he jumped to his feet. 

“Nico!” Percy exclaimed, rushing forward with his arms held out, though he froze when he saw Nico flinch. Percy glanced at Annabeth, his expression wavering and his arms drooping slightly before he asked, “Um, can I hug you?” 

Nico took a step closer and nodded. Percy’s arms closed around him. 

“Dude, you had me so freaked out,” Percy said into Nico’s hair. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you. I’ll try not to do it again, I promise.” 

“Thanks,” Nico replied, shifting subtly until Percy released him. He took a few steps back and held his arms over his stomach again, as if defending a weak point. 

Annabeth set a hand on his shoulder. “I have to leave for class, but are you going to be okay?” 

Nico took a deep breath and met her gaze. “I’ll be okay.” 

“Good. When I get home, we can start looking for a therapist,” she said in a way that let Nico know she also meant if that’s okay with you. “And Percy, when you put Luke down for his nap, you two should start looking for apartments.” 

Annabeth pulled Nico forward and kissed his forehead. She kissed Percy on the lips, then Luke on the top of his head as she grabbed her bag, and then she was gone. 

Nico didn’t move for a few minutes. Percy settled back onto the floor with Luke and eventually turned the TV on for some background noise. Nico edged his way toward the couch and sat down in the corner, curled up with his knees to his chest. 

Percy reached back and tapped on Nico’s shin with his fingers. “Hey, no hard feelings, right?” he asked, his head tipping back to rest on the cushion next to Nico. “I love having you here, dude, and I’ve missed you a lot, but I’m sorry that it’s not working out. Besides, don’t you think it’ll be better to have your own place, anyway?” 

Nico’s arms tightened around his legs. “I don’t...want to live alone. I don’t think I can.” 

“Oh.” Percy’s gaze turned back to Luke. “I guess I always assumed that you were the type to like having your own space. Uh, okay, well, we can…” Percy hummed in thought. “We can look on...Craigslist? To find you a roommate?” He glanced back at Nico, and there must have been something about the look on Nico’s face that made Percy burst into laughter. “Okay, you’re right. Stupid idea.” 

Percy scooped the TV remote up off the floor and tossed it back to Nico. “Go ahead and put on whatever.”

Nico flipped through the channel guide for a few minutes, but ended up sticking with whatever kid’s show was already playing. 

“Maybe you could crash with somebody we already know,” Percy said. “We could talk to Jason or Leo, or-- No, wait, now that I think of it, I think Leo might be crashing on Jason’s couch… Hm. You can’t get a dorm at NYU if you’re not taking classes this semester… Man, the only person I can think of that has a spare room is my mom.” 

Nico felt himself perk up for the first time in days. “Do you think you could ask her?” 

Percy shot him a teasing grin. “You wanna live with my mom?” He looked away before Nico’s expression could fall, and shrugged. “Alright, I’ll call her after lunch. I’m sure she’d love to have you.”

Nico had his first meeting with a therapist the day before moving out of Percy and Annabeth’s apartment. It didn’t take long to pack up his belongings, mainly because he’d hardly taken anything out of his car to begin with. But when he got to Sally’s with the Jackson-Chases not far behind, they unloaded everything from his car to take inside. The guest room was a bit of a tight squeeze with all of Nico’s boxes and suitcases inside, but he had plenty of time to unpack and organize later. 

He came out of the room - his room - to thank Sally and Paul a few more times, but when he stepped into the kitchen, Sally beat him to it. She pulled Nico into a hug, practically squeezing the life out of him as she did so, and kissed the side of his head. “We’re so happy to have you here, Nico,” she whispered to him. “You stay here as long as you need.” 

“It won’t be forever,” Nico promised her after weaseling out of the hug. “I just need to figure some stuff out, and maybe I can try to get a dorm when the fall semester starts, and--” 

Sally took Nico’s face in her hands and pressed her lips to his forehead. “Take all the time you need, honey.” 

Nico felt like he might cry. He forgot what it was like to have a mom.

thanks for reading!

buy me a coffee | more nico birthday event stuff

#nico di angelo #percy jackson #annabeth chase #i'm in hell #mine #my writing #nico birthday event

[argylemnwrites]

He Knew

Pairing: Colt Kaneko x MC (Ellie Whitnall)

Book: Ride or Die (post book 1)

Word Count: ~4600

Rating: R (language, referenced sensual content, referenced violence)

Summary: The five times Ellie came back, and the one time she didn’t

Author’s Note: Written for @rodappreciationweek Day 2 - Colt Kaneko. This is my first time not only writing Colt, but also my first time writing for one of my Choices couples that don’t end up “happily ever after.” I adored the bittersweet endings we got in ROD, and I wanted to keep that vibe here. This is pretty different from my usual writing tone/genre, so be forewarned - this is not a happy tale, but the crumbling apart of a relationship. It think the warnings listed in the rating section cover the content here.

It wasn’t really goodbye. He knew she’d be back. There was no way she would be able to stay away, to just fall back into a world where her only thrills came from acing a test. That was too easy for her. She needed more, the push, the challenge, the adventure. He knew because he was just like her.

He wasn’t sure exactly when she’d be back, though. He was sure she’d be back in LA for Thanksgiving, but he didn’t expect her to come looking for him then. Besides, the shop was still in ruins. He wouldn’t be easy for her to find at this point. He rode past her dad’s place early on Thanksgiving morning and saw her blue Shokai Fourier sitting in the driveway. But he didn’t see her then.

Same thing about a month later, her car parked in the driveway when he drove by a few days before Christmas. But it didn’t surprise him that she wasn’t ready to come back to his world, not just yet. That first semester of college probably had enough novelty to keep her from getting too bored. New friends, new freedoms, new knowledge.

It’s not like he wasn’t busy, too. Hunting down the remnants of the Brotherhood while not attracting any unwanted attention was a new mission, one that required a new sort of careful calculation and anticipation. He wasn’t the type to sit around pining, moping, waiting on some girl, just like he was sure she wasn’t longing for him. They were alike in that way - they didn’t let their emotions define them.

It wasn’t until the anniversary of Pop’s death that he really felt it, deep down, that he… fuck it, that he missed her. Because no one else got him, not the way she did. No one else was quite like her. He was a few drinks in, sulking in the room he was renting from X’s old roommate when he did the thing he swore he would never do - he pulled out his new phone and searched “Ellie Whitnall” on Pictagram.

Her hair was darker, no longer highlighted, but still pulled back in that ponytail. And that damn sweatshirt was nowhere to be seen. Instead it was her in a crop top and a skin-tight pair of jeans in a line with six other girls, a smile on all of their faces as their arms wrapped around each other’s backs. Her lounging on the grass with one of the same girls, textbooks sprawled out around them as they both laughed. Her eating a slice of pizza in some tiny restaurant, a blond dude who looked like a preppy douchebag sitting in the booth next to her.

She looked good, happy enough. It made him proud, but the worst parts of himself wished she was just a little miserable. Not just because he was mourning and miserable himself, and misery did fucking love company, but because she didn’t belong in a world that was bland and ordinary. She burned too bright for such pedestrian experiences. She would see that soon, and she would be back. Until then he just had to keep working on avenging his father’s death, making the Brotherhood pay for all the shit they’d done. And that’s what he did, not noticing as May and June passed by. But then July came.

He was working at the sideshow, trying to find out where Wallace had last been spotted when he saw her on the dance floor. She was wearing a little white tank top and a light blue skirt that was short enough it barely covered anything. It took all his willpower to listen to what the little punk was telling him and not just march over there and kiss her, welcome her back where she belonged. But business had to come first. Besides, she was only dancing with her brunette friend, Riya, and the guy who had worn the orange tux to prom.

“I knew you couldn’t stay away” he murmured into her ear when he finally, finally could join her. She tensed at first, as he came up behind her, snaking his hand around her waist, his fingers tracing along the thin strip of skin between her shirt and skirt, but she relaxed into him when she recognized his voice. She spun to face him, her arms reaching up to rest on his shoulders.

“Who says I’m here for you? Riya and Darius just wanted a taste of what I was up to last spring.”

Colt shook his head. “Nah, you wouldn’t have worn that if you weren’t here for me,” he said as his eyes traced over her gentle curves, settling back on her face, just as beautiful and determined as he’d remembered.

“It’s July in LA. Some of us actually dress for the heat.”

He chuckled lightly, leaned down, and kissed her. She tasted the same, her fingers felt the same as they crawled up his neck and clutched onto his hair. When he tugged her out of there and handed her his spare helmet, her arms felt the same as she wrapped them around his chest. And when they got to his new studio apartment in Broadway-Manchester and stumbled towards his mattress as they stripped as quickly as they could, she felt the same as he sunk into her, both of them moaning in relief.

After, they talked all night, lounging on his mattress, drinking cheap beer and eating the string cheese they found in his pathetically empty fridge. About her classes and seminars, her roommate from some tiny town in Nebraska who had never seen an escalator before coming to Langston, and her upcoming research project. About his plans to reopen the auto body shop next year, now that the heat was finally dying down and he could go back. About how Ximena was still around, ready to help out, but how Toby had made his way north to San Fran, working for some startup that was looking to get into the high-tech auto accessory game. About how Mona would be up for parole in a few months.

“When do you head back?” he finally asked as the sun started to peek through the window, his hand tracing along her spine as she curled up against his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

“Tomorrow,” she said, after a moment, “Dr. Frisch wants me to start on my research next week so that we can get a prototype built before the end of the fall semester.”

Colt swallowed before sliding his fingers under her chin and tilting her head up, looking straight into her brown eyes. “You happy?”

She nodded gently. “For now.”

“Not bored?”

“Not yet.”

“Just want to make sure they aren’t wasting your talents.”

“Colt…”

“Just remember, you shouldn’t settle for bland.”

“I know, Colt. I know.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Even though it had been over a year since he last saw her in person, he knew she would be back someday. She had his new number now, and every so often she would send him a little text or photo. They had no agreement, had made no promises to each other, still her messages were sometimes flirty, sometimes sexy. The blond idiot still hung around her Pictagram, but if she didn’t feel obligated to keep things between them… friendly or some shit, it wasn’t any of his business really.

The summer after her sophomore year at Langston, she stayed out east, hired on for some summer research program. But Colt was busy, too. The shop was open again. It wasn’t officially under Colt’s management, not until the statute of limitations ran out next year, but he had a couple of mechanics he’d hired on, keeping things on the up and up for the moment. Everyone knew Colt was running the show.

One day in October, he was at the shop, on a creeper under some rich asshole’s Porsche Cayman GTS when Ricky, his newest hire, called out for him.

“Hey, Kaneko. Some chick is here and says she needs to talk to you.”

He rolled his eyes as he pushed himself out. Ricky was talented, but he was far too much of a pushover. “I’m in the middle of this, Ricky.”

“I know, boss… but she kinda acted like you guys were… she seemed like she knew you personally.”

Wiping his hands on his pants, he strode over, ready to tell off whatever entitled little girl thought she could demand to see him, but then he caught sight of her. The sweatshirt was back, but her hair was even darker than it had been last summer. 

“Ellie? What are you doing here?” He was shocked by her appearance in his shop, in the middle of the semester, and every instinct to tease her about not being able to stay away went out the window when he saw the look on her face, so hollow and lost. He ushered her into his office, closing the door and hearing it all. How her dad was in the ICU at UCLA after he’d suffered a massive heart attack. How she’d had to go on a leave of absence for the rest of the semester.

“The doctors think he’s going to be okay, but I can’t… I can’t go back to the house alone. Not after everything,” she finished, perched on the end of his desk.

“You’re here by yourself?”

“Riya transferred to UC Oakland to be with Darius, so other than you… I don’t really know anyone here anymore.”

So the blond douche didn’t come with her. Either he was even more of a dickwad than Colt pictured, or he wasn’t that important to Ellie. Either way, it was all Colt needed to know. He tugged her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. He didn’t tell her things would be alright, because unlike some people, he wasn’t stupid enough to try and lie to her. To make her promises he couldn’t keep.

So he did what he could. He took her back to his apartment, poured her shots of tequila, and fucked her senseless. There was nothing he could do to make things better. But he could make her forget, at least for a little bit. It’s what she would have done for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Ellie coming tonight?” Ximena asked as Ricky spread out the takeout on the table in the breakroom.

“Haven’t seen her around much lately,” Ricky said, opening the containers of fried chicken.

“She’ll be back,” Colt said with more confidence than he actually felt. It wasn’t that he doubted that she’d be back… eventually. But she was pissed at him. Really pissed. And he wasn’t sure how long it was going to take her to cool off.

It was absurd that she was angry with him when he was the only one who wasn’t handling her with kid gloves, instead treating her like the grown-ass woman she was. Her dad was recovering just fine, but Ellie kept putting off going back to Langstson. When she’d told him she’d pulled out for the spring semester, though, he’d told her exactly what he thought about that. That she was being stupid. That she was only sticking around out of guilt over her last few months of high school. That she was wasting herself.

“What happened to you telling me I would always have a spot on your crew?” she’d yelled at him, tears flowing down her cheeks.

“Not like this, with you just bumming around, aimless. Fucking around, not really doing anything. You’re better than that, Ellie.”

She’d stormed out of his apartment after their fight, and he hadn’t seen her in eight days. He assumed she was with her dad. It wasn’t worth dwelling on. She’d be back once she’d cooled off and realized he was right. But the days continued to tick by, with no sight of her around the apartment or the shop. After three weeks, he rode past her dad’s place, but the Shokai Fourier was still in the driveway, so he knew she was still in LA.

Finally, almost one month later she showed up at the shop, just as they were wrapping things up for the day. She walked straight into his office without so much as saying hello to anyone, so Colt took his time, finishing up with the spark plugs he was replacing before he joined her. She was sitting at his desk, scrolling through his spreadsheets, reviewing the shop’s finances. So damn presumptuous.

“I didn’t realize you were an accountant now,” he said, crossing his arms as he closed the door. 

She spun in his chair, glaring at him. “Just seeing if you can afford to hire a mechanical engineer.”

“By my math, you’re only half a mechanical engineer at this point. That has to earn me a bit of discount on your salary.”

“I’m here to negotiate. If I’m going back for two more years at Langston, I need to know it’s going to be worth it. So make me an offer.”

Colt couldn’t fully suppress a smirk as he quirked an eyebrow at her. “What, am I supposed to write a number on a sheet of paper and slide it over to you?”

“I’m being serious, Colt.”

He rolled his eyes. “The offer’s the same as it’s always been - equal partnership, you and me, running this place.”

“And that offer will still be on the table in two years?”

“It hasn’t changed in the past two and a half, has it?”

She stood up with a nod at that, crossing the small office to stand in front of him, staring up at him, somehow looking imposing from five foot two.

“Should we shake on it?” he asked, widening his eyes to tease her, just a bit.

“I think we can do better than that,” she said before she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him with all she had, shoving him back against the door in the process.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Colt glanced at his phone. 11:45 pm and no new notifications. She was supposed to be back from Riya and Darius’s wedding today, but as the minutes ticked by, he wasn’t sure if she was more upset than he’d anticipated.

Technically, they were both supposed to be back from the wedding today. But he’d gotten word about some… hot merchandise that was too good of a deal to pass up late on Friday, and so he’d shot Ellie a text to send Riya and Darius his congratulations before he turned his phone off. He’d figured she’d understand. She was as ambitious as him, after all.

But seeing as it had been radio silence all day Saturday and now Sunday, he was wondering what sort of Ellie was going to walk through that door. Either she was pissed, or something had happened to her, but he didn’t think she’d been in any danger in Napa.

His finger hovered over her name in his contact list. She hadn’t answered any of his calls earlier today, so he didn’t have much hope for this one. Just before he pressed down to foolishly call her yet again, headlights flashed through the front window of their apartment’s living room. She was home.

Less than a minute later, the deadbolt turned. There was Ellie, her little duffel bag in one hand, a garment bag in the other. She looked exhausted, and when she glanced up and saw him sitting at their little table, he noticed that her eyes were bloodshot. She didn’t say anything, just shook her head at him as she walked straight into their bedroom.

“Ellie, come on-” he started, chasing after her, but she slammed the door right in his face.

“I don’t even want to look at you right now,” she called through the door.

“It was three million worth of merchandise for only four hundred thousand. I couldn’t pass it up.”

The door flung back open, Ellie practically trembling with anger as she braced herself against the door frame.

“I was the fucking maid of honor, and my plus one didn’t show up!”

“None of them like me anyway.”

“Hmm, I wonder why,” she practically sneered at him as she shoved past him, stomping into the bathroom, slamming that door this time.

“You know we need to move more volume if we want to keep growing the shop. You’re the one who wants us to expand our territory into Vermont Knolls.”

“Fuck you!” echoed through the door.

“What do you want me to say? I made the call that I thought was best for our business.”

“How about ‘Sorry, Ellie. I was a total asshole’ as a starter?”

He winced at that. He probably should have led with an apology. He just didn’t think it would piss her off this much that he’d missed the wedding.

“Ellie, I am sorry. I just thought you would be fine with it since you told me to skip your cousin’s wedding last spring so we could close that deal-”

“-You didn’t even ask me this time.” she called out.

“I didn’t have time. And they are your friends. It’s not like I left you all alone with people you don’t know.”

The bathroom door swung open, but Ellie pivoted on her heel, sitting back down on the toilet seat.

“You say I’m your partner,” she said with a heavy sigh, “but you always make these decisions without me.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, this was a no-brainer. The pure profit on-”

“I don’t mean business partners. I mean in our… personal life.”

He frowned at that, crossing his arms, “What the fuck are you talking about? Where is this coming from?”

Ellie just shook her head. “I don’t know. Sometimes it just feels like… like no amount of growth at the shop will ever be good enough for you. Like you are never off the clock.”

“I’m not ever off the clock. That shop is Pop’s legacy, and with you, it’s grown bigger than he could have ever imagined. I don’t know why you’re acting like this was all me. We’ve built everything we have together. You’ve always been hungry to prove yourself in this world.”

“Look who’s talking! Don’t you ever think that maybe your father wouldn’t want you sinking into this world so single-mindedly after he tried to keep you away from it for so long?”

It was an old argument from her, one he hadn’t heard in years. “My pop made a lot of bad decisions. Underestimating what both of us were capable of was just one of them.”

Ellie’s phone chirped, and Colt felt lightheaded as he watched her stand up and pick up a pregnancy test off the counter next to the sink. “Well, I hope you do better than him,” she said, shoving the piece of plastic into his hand. “This decision’s all mine, and I’m keeping it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was his own fault she was staying with her father for a few nights. He’d been careless and just a little too reckless. The contact on the new stock of Tesla Model S’s had been a friend of Ricky’s friend. He should have vetted him better. He’d been too blinded by how good of a deal it was. But it was a mess from the start, and now they owed a crew in West Adams seven million in either cash or vehicles. At least he hadn’t gotten arrested. He’s pretty sure Ellie would have murdered him if that had been the case.

But he’d gotten them involved in a bad deal. It was 100% his fault. Not only was Ellie pissed at him for not being appropriately cautious with their business, but pregnancy had reduced her fuse significantly. She’d gone off on him when he’d returned from the drop with the terrible news. He didn’t blame her for wanting to take a few days away from him and the shop. He figured it would go a long way if he’d worked out a safe way to repay their debt by the time she came back, hence staying late in his office, trying to brainstorm the quickest way out of this mess.

At some point he must have nodded off in his chair at his desk, because suddenly he bolted awake, disoriented and panicked, grabbing for the handgun he kept in his top drawer before he recognized Ellie standing in his doorway. He let out a rough breath and moved to offer her his chair, but she just shook her head.

“It won’t be worth the effort it takes to stand up again,” she said, reading his intentions in a second. “I was waiting for you at home, but when it hit midnight and you weren’t back, I thought I might find you here.”

“I thought you were gonna stay with your dad for a few more days.”

“He was asking a lot of questions about us that I didn’t exactly want to answer. Besides, I figured you might need some help coming up with a plan.” Her hands rested on top of her stomach. She still had three weeks until her due date, and Colt had no idea how was going to stand up if she got any bigger. Not that he told her that.

“It's my mess, Ellie. I can take care of cleaning it up.”

She shook her head, rubbing her hands along her bump. “That’s the thing, Colt. Your messes impact all three of us. So even if it’s not my fault we’re seven million in the hole at that moment, I need to help you fix things. And the two of us working together has always gotten us better results than either of us working independently.

“But Colt, I need you to take a step back from this ‘high risk, high reward’ approach. It was one thing when it was just you and me, but we both need to be a bit more careful going forward. Our kid deserves parents that are alive and not incarcerated, alright?”

He sighed but nodded. “I just don’t want us to lose our edge. But I get it, Ellie. I do.”

She sighed as well before she said, “Come on. Pack up your stuff and meet me at home. We can work on solving this from the comfort of our bed, okay?”

“Sure thing. I’ll see you there.” 

She gave him a little smile, so forced and empty it nearly shattered him, before turning and walking out the door. He wished he knew how to earn her trust back. But she was like him. She had high standards. Fixing things with her was going to take ages.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colt ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm his breathing. She had to come back. She had to. She had his daughter.

This fight had been bad, worse than any other than he could remember. When Ellie had seen the news coverage of Shaw’s shanking in prison, she’d turned to him, horror etched across her face. She hadn’t even needed to ask if it was him. She’d just known that he’d ordered it.

He tried to get her to understand, to see that he’d only done what he had to do. Shaw had his initial parole hearing coming up soon. If he so much as breathed a whiff of freedom, not only was their entire shop and crew in danger, but so were their lives and Margot’s. He was just taking a necessary precaution.

But she’d not wanted to hear any of it. She’d marched into Margot’s room, throwing her clothes and toys into a bag before hefting her out of bed and marching her out to her car, strapping her into her booster seat while she was still sound asleep. Ellie hadn’t so much as said a word to him as she drove off. Of course she’d ignored every call and text from him since that time.

He’d taken to riding past her father’s house daily. Her Shokai Fourier was always there, but he was never lucky enough to catch a glimpse of her or Margot in the yard. It had been nine days since he’d seen his kid, and he was getting desperate. He didn’t know what to do.

He sat along the edge of the cliff, watching the waves crash along. It wasn’t calming him tonight. Nothing was going to calm him. He didn't know how long he sat there, but eventually he heard a car engine approaching behind him. He would have known that paint job in his sleep. The engine quieted and he felt Ellie approaching him, sitting down next to him, almost close enough to reach out and touch. Almost.

“This is it, isn’t it?” he asked, staring out over the Pacific, inhaling the salt of the sea air.

“Colt… I can’t raise her in a home where killing someone is an acceptable solution to a problem. You had to know I wouldn’t be able to stand by you when you ordered that hit.”

Her words stung, burned his soul. Of course he’d known that. She’d always had her lines her morals didn’t allow her to cross. But how did she expect him to just sit there and let a threat to the safety of his family potentially walk free?

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she asked. He could hear the tears in her voice, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her, to see revulsion and disgust in the place of love and trust.

“What is there to say? Nothing I can do will make you come back.”

He heard her sigh before he felt her fingers, tiny and gentle against the back of his hand. He turned his hand over and threaded their fingers together more out of habit than anything. He knew her well enough to know that this wasn’t a gesture of love or hope.

“Colt, I’ll always love you, but…”

“I know, Ellie.”

“Are you even sorry?”

He paused, thinking over her question. He knew what she wanted to hear, but he’d always respected her too much to attempt to placate her with pretty sounding lies. “I don’t regret it at all,” he finally said, “I did it for both of you.”

She didn’t recoil from him at that. He hadn’t said anything she didn’t already know in her soul anyway. She’d always understood him in ways others just couldn’t. After all she was just like him. Just like him in so many ways.

They were only really different in one key way. She tried to pretend that there was a way to live the life they did and to be “good,” to keep to some sort of moral code. He knew that wasn’t the case. Or maybe she was just a better person than him. It was hard to tell right now, when he felt so hollow and drained.

“We’ll work out times for you to see Margot,” she said after a few minutes of silence. “I think we probably both want to keep lawyers out of this.”

Colt just grunted in acknowledgement. Ellie gave his hand a little squeeze before she tugged her hand free. She pushed herself up off the ground and walked back to her car. He couldn’t bring himself to watch her drive away, so he just stared ahead as he listened to her ignition start.

It was goodbye. He knew she’d never be back.

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#rodaw #colt kaneko #colt x mc #rod fanfic #choices fanfiction

[hermannsthumb]

Hello!! If you're not too busy and are so inclined, could you do 24, 27, 37 for the fall prompts? For Newt and Hermann o b v i o u s l y. Thank u so so much!! Keep up the great work xoxo

24. Warm Sweaters + 37. Cold

from autumn fic prompts here

im cheating a LITTLE and not filling the “27. corn maze” part because I wrote it last year and im def not inspired enough to do another HAHA. and also...because I want to work towards finishing my @theloccent bingo card belatedly with Spooning and Huddling for Warmth. SORRY I TOOK SO LONG, ive had a weird summer and i just moved/started grad school last week, it hasn't been very conducive for writing. set ambiguously before they're transferred to the HK shatterdome

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“I must say, Newton,” Hermann says, “I believe I sorely underestimated your abilities.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Newt says, gloomily.

“You went above and beyond what I expected.”

“I get it,” Newt says.

“It takes a true sort of talent to screw things up as much as you have.”

“I get it,” Newt says.

Hermann is not smirking--he’s too angry right now for that--but he does have a somewhat unpleasant curl to his mouth that’s making Newt boil hot with embarrassment all the same. Sort of a sneer, maybe. “I get it,” Newt says for the third time. “I’m a fuck-up, I’m a walking disaster, I--” He kicks the front of the rental car hard with the end of his boot, relishing in the dull thud that echoes from it, and less in the dull pain. “--can’t even figure out how to patch a fucking tire.”

“Or drive,” Hermann offers, helpfully. “You can’t drive, either.”

“Neither can you, Mr. Speed Demon,” Newt shoots back, but he knows it falls flat. After all--when their connecting flight got cancelled, Hermann wasn't the one who insisted they leave the relative safety of the airport to peel out into a snowstorm in search of a hotel. Hermann wasn’t the one who insisted on driving the rental. Hermann isn’t the one who got them lost down some shitty little road in the middle of nowhere, with snow piling up all around them, and he definitely isn’t the one who got distracted behind the wheel trying to adjust the radio and didn't see a patch of ice in time and sent the car--well. The point is, they’re down two tires, probably an engine, most definitely their only mode of transportation, and sure as hell aren’t near any hotel.

Around them is snow as far as the eye can see. When they get home (and that’s if they ever make it back to the airport), Newt is requesting a transfer to the LA Shatterdome ASAP. “Well, Newton?” Hermann says. He’s bundled up in his stupid parka and more scarves than Newt even owns. Newt can barely see his face. “What’s your next brilliant plan? Build an igloo?”

Not a bad idea, at this rate; the snow is no joke. “I’m thinking,” Newt grumbles. His breath puffs out white in front of him. “Tow truck,” he says. “We need a tow truck.”

“Astute,” Hermann says.

Newt ignores him and pulls his cell phone from his pocket. No bars. Right, of course, middle of fucking nowhere. “Do you have any reception?” Newt sighs.

“I didn’t bring my mobile,” Hermann says.

Newt’s eyes snap up to fix on him incredulously. “You didn’t bring--?! What the hell, man?”

“I had no need for it on the trip,” Hermann says. “We’re meant to be at a conference. I didn't think we’d get lost.” He doesn’t even have the audacity to look ashamed. Newt debates hurling his cell phone into the snow bank in frustration, but decides against it, because it did kind of cost a lot.

“Unbelievable,” he says instead. “Fucking unbelievable. Fine. Let’s go find--”

“You’re not saying we ought to walk somewhere?” Hermann interrupts.

“What other options do we have?” Newt says. “Freeze to death? There’s gotta be at least a gas station or something nearby--I could find someone to tow the car, while you--” He looks Hermann up and down, from his oversized Oxfords to his twenty scarves to his pathetic red cheeks. Hermann’s leg gets stiff as hell in the cold; there’s no way he’d be able to make any kind of distance right now, and who knows how long they’d be walking. There’s also no way Newt’s leaving him behind. “Come on,” he finally sighs, and touches Hermann’s elbow tentatively. “Let’s just get back in the car. It’s warmer in there.”

Maybe he’ll go off by himself once the snow stops. Or maybe, if they’re lucky, someone will stop by and offer them a ride before that. “Only barely,” Hermann says with a scowl, but he obliges.

Newt doesn’t get back in the car right away, though. Instead, he pops the trunk, pulls out their duffel bags, and begins feeling around the backseat. They’ve only had the rental for a few hours, and Newt isn’t exactly the most skilled around cars, but he thinks... “What are you doing back there?” Hermann says.

“One sec,” Newt says, and when he tugs a little lever off to the side, the seats fold down. Another tug, and they fold back into the trunk, leaving the back half of the car entirely flat. “Oh, awesome!”

"Newton?”

Newt ignores Hermann and begins digging around in their duffel bags. He has nothing but a few spare sweatshirts and boxers in his own; Hermann’s proves far more promising. “Score,” Newt whistles, and pulls out two--three--four ugly sweaters. “Holy shit, dude, we were only supposed to be there for a night. Why’d you pack so much?”

“I like to be prepared,” Hermann says. “Which you clearly know nothing about. Hang on--” He cranes his neck around his seat headrest to frown at Newt. “Why are you--?”

“You’re a regular Boy Scout,” Newt interrupts. He climbs into the back of the car, kicks his boots a few times against the back fender to knock off all the snow, and shuts the trunk behind him. “Come on,” he says, unlacing his boots, “get back here already. I’m cold.”

Hermann stares at him.

Newt shucks off his leather jacket and pulls one of Hermann’s sweater over his head instead. It’s insane how much of a difference it makes--maybe Hermann has been on something all these years when he tells Newt he needs proper winter wear or whatever the fuck. He pulls on a second one for good measure, pleasantly surprised to find he can still move his arms, and then pulls on a second pair of his socks over his first. “C’mon, Hermann,” he says. “Time to share some body heat, dude.”

Hermann grumbles, and he shakes his head, and he tucks the hood of his parka down over his face (like being unable to see Newt means Newt will just magically forget he’s there), and then--finally--he turns back to face Newt again. “This is ridiculous,” he declares. “We must have other options.”

Newt lays down and stretches out on his side, blinking up at Hermann coyly. “You’re making it weird for no reason,” he says. “It doesn’t have to be weird, you know.” It can be perfectly natural--two dudes, who sometimes fight, and sometimes do things a little more amorous than fight, sharing body heat. That's all. “It’s just biology. Cats do it, penguins do it--”

“No,” Hermann says.

He comes to the backseat anyway. Newt likes to think it’s because he’s too irresistible.

“I call being big spoon,” Newt says happily, and he tucks himself around Hermann’s bony--and, at the moment, puffy--back before Hermann can protest. One leg, he nudges between Hermann’s, making sure not to put any weight where he shouldn’t; he settles the arm wrapped around Hermann at his waist, splaying his hand somewhere around Hermann’s upper abdomen. “There. Isn’t that nice?”

“Hmph,” Hermann says.

Outside, the storm rages on around them, snow piling up on the windows and frosting them over where it hasn’t landed yet. The last dregs of the heat in the car die out. Newt tucks himself a little closer to Hermann, inhaling his shampoo, the slight damp scent his fuzzy parka hood always has. Hasn’t the guy ever heard of dry-cleaning? “Feeling cozy?” Newt mumbles.

“You’re shivering,” Hermann tells him.

“Am I?” Newt says.

He is. Huh. Hermann turns over with a grunt, then unzips his parka and tucks Newt into it in one fluid motion. Newt winds his arms around Hermann instinctively. “There we are,” Hermann murmurs. “Let’s get you warm.”

The zipper goes back up with some difficulty, pressing Newt so tight against Hermann’s chest he can barely move. Hermann’s chin bumps his forehead. Newt looks up to find his wide mouth parted slightly. “I think I want to kiss you,” Newt says, surprising himself.

“Hm?” Hermann says.

“I want to kiss you,” Newt repeats a little louder, and that gets a reaction--Hermann’s eyebrows leap to his sweaty bangs, and his whole body stiffens. “Listen--listen. Uh. The best way to share body heat--you know--it’s stuff like that. Kissing, and--”

“I am not having sex with you in the back of a bloody rental car,” Hermann half-shouts. 

Newt wriggles around a little until he can steal an uncoordinated kiss from Hermann, landing it somewhere to the left of his mouth. He has better aim with his next one. “I won’t tell anyone if you don't,” he promises.

“We are not,” Hermann says, but the next kiss, he instigates himself.

They’re rescued half an hour later when a local knocks on the window and asks if they need a lift; the bed and breakfast Newt was so sure he was leading them to, as it turns out, is only a five minute walk away, hidden from view by some trees and the snow. “At least we had some fun bonding time,” Newt tells Hermann sheepishly in the lobby.

Hermann scowls, but to Newt’s delight, requests a single queen for them both.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous

[thephantomofthe-internet]

Piercings and Polaroids

Billy Hargrove x Reader

Word Count: 4,984

Warnings: Piercings, blood, needles, swearing, sexuality (eluded to)

Tag List: @moonstruckhargrove @thechickvic @carolimedanvers @hotstuffhargrove @alex--awesome--22 @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @so-not-hotmess @agentsinstorybrooke @sunflowercandie @kaliforniacoastalteens @songforhema @mickmoon @buckybarneshairpullingkink @marvelismylifffe @spidey-pal

Starcourt got boring after awhile. Once the lustre of new stores and fast food restaurants died off, people stopped shopping and starting soaking up the A/C like snakes under heat lamps. You didn’t mind, it just meant that you could spend your afternoons flipping through magazines and listening to the ad-free mall radio.

“Hey bitch!” someone slapped the counter loudly and you looked up boredly from your copy of Cosmo. Heather was standing in front of you with a devilish grin, her hair damp from the pool and her signature red Ray-Bands jammed on the top of her thick brown curls, most of which were piled high on the top of her head in a messy attempt at a ponytail, half tied and falling apart.

“Hi Heather...” you signed, laying the magazine open on the counter. Heather was your best friend, although it had begun to feel more and more strained as you both got older. Heather and you were very different people. You were a band geek, a tutor, and a slave to the mall. Heather was a cheerleader, the head of the yearbook committee, and one of the infamous ‘lifeguard hotties’ of the Hawkins Community Pool. She was a popular princess; a daddy’s girl with his platinum card wrapped around her little finger. You were from a broken home with an exhausting home life, and someone who should’ve been an ignored loser. Without Heather defending you, you would be bullied to bits by girls like Carol and Tina. But with her, you felt like a sheep in wolf’s clothing.

She leaned her elbows on the counter, smiling giddily “So, how’s your summer of piercing baby ears going?” she asked with a devious giggle, her sunglasses falling onto her nose and her mouth curling into a devilish grin.

You rolled your eyes “I’ve only seen one baby get pierced, I mostly pierce like middle schoolers. Today, I gave Mrs. Blythe her second hole. She bought three packs of neon studs and said they were for her daughter. Trying to look younger or some shit.” You replied, popping a strip of bright pink bubblegum into your sticky pink mouth, your cheap drugstore lipstick gunking in the corners of your lips. It was obvious that Heather had stopped listening after the first sentence, her mouth open in a yawn.

“Boring! You haven’t done anything cool all day? You know what me and Jeff did?” she asked, bouncing on her heels. She leaned over the counter, cupping a hand over her mouth as she leant in to your ear “We did it in the locker room showers. And Jessica Abrams totally walked in on us and freaked out! She totally got all red and teary it was totally embarrassing!” she whispered.

You pulled away, your face turned up in disgust. “That’s disgusting!” you gagged, squeezing your eyes shut as the image of Jeff’s douchey smirk came into view, turning into an ‘O’ face that made you want to hurl.

Heather cackled “He wasn’t even that good! I have no idea why Jessica’s been going on about it!” she cried, slapping the counter with her bare hand.

“Maybe because they were like two seconds away from being a couple and you got in the way.” You replied, deadpan. Sometimes Heather was a real bitch. This was one of those times. Poor Jessica had been following around that jerk since April and just when she’s about to get over him, he decides to pay her the time of day. And just when he seemed to genuinely like, Heather had to get bored and took Jeff away. Poor Jessica didn’t even know what hit her.

Heather scoffed, rolling her eyes at your comment. “That’s not the most interesting part of my shift though! I brought you a live one!” she giggled. You felt your blood run cold. Heather had no concept of what was appropriate ever. She had almost gotten you fired twice. This was not a good thing.

Heather waved someone over as you stared on wide eyed. Before you could even tell Heather to stop whatever she was trying to do, Billy Hargrove was standing in front of you, visibly put off by the children running around the shop and the bright, colourful decor. His eyes scanned yours boredly, his eyes narrowing judgementally.

“Alright, it’s piercing time!” Heather cried, clapping excitedly.

You sighed, rolling your eyes “Alright, the piercing package costs thirty bucks. You pick your piercing from the case.” You pointed down into the glass case below you, lit up and filled with silver butterflies, flowers, stars, and other girly designs. “You just want the other ear, right?”

Billy’s eyes scanned the case, his eyes narrowing further, his upper lip curling up in disgust. “Nah, my nose.” He replied, his voice monotone.

“Yeah, you can’t do that here.” You said, matching his tone. Billy looked quickly, his eyes blowing out in annoyance, looking between you and Heather.

Heather’s expression shifted and she laughed awkwardly “Of course you can!” she leaned over to you once Billy’s was sated enough to return to the difficult choice between the only ball studs in the case, one silver and one gold. “Don’t be fucking lame, Y/N…” she whispered harshly.

“I’m not being lame, it’s literally not something I can do.” You pulled the heavy, clunky piercing gun out from its drawer “This thing is literally only meant for ear lobes. It’s all I can pierce. Anything else I try will get super fucked up.” You explained, flashing the grey and white gun to the pair. It looked like a glorified hot glue gun, except splattered with a bit of dried blood.

Billy turned his attention to Heather, obviously annoyed “You said she could do it. I bought a nose ring in Carmel cause she could do it.” He grunted, obviously annoyed.

Heather looked over at you with her giant, pleading eyes, and for a brief moment you felt bad. Heather was just trying to look cool to this cooler, more popular guy and it had fallen flat so fast. You owed her something, for all the things she’d done for you over the years. With the barest of restrained sigh, you spoke up “Look, I can’t pierce your nose here, but I can do it at my place.” You said.

Billy scowled “Yeah? You got any proof?” he asked. He was getting more annoyed by the second; his expression growing harder and angrier if that was even possible.

You raised an eyebrow, tapping the small silver ring in your left nostril “Did this myself. Did all my piercings myself. How do think I got this job?” you countered. In truth, you’d done a mail in course and passed a piercing test on a rubber practise head. You were licensed in a week by Claire’s. You couldn’t even transfer the license to any other brand; they made it very clear in the paperwork you filled out.

Billy nodded, looking over your work. You guessed that it was satisfactory enough to him because a small smirk pulled at his lips. “What time you finished up here?” he asked. Heather cheered loudly, grabbing Billy’s bicep excitedly.

“I got like fifteen minutes left. Heather knows my address if you just wanna leave with her. I’ll meet you there.” You replied, looking over to your manager, who nodded for you to start your closing out.

“No way! You took the bus here, we’ll wait.” Heather said quickly “We’ll meet you in the food court.” She pulled Billy out of the shop with a wide grin, waving to you and mouthing ‘so hot!’ when he wasn’t looking. You chuckled, shaking your head. Heather thought every guy was hot, it didn’t mean much. But you wouldn’t deny that Billy was hot. Even with his cocky attitude and that ugly tattoo on his bicep that he insisted on showing off. You swore he’d cut all the sleeves off his tee shirts just to show off that stupid skull smoking a cigarette. Who the hell wanted that on their body forever?!? You weren’t too attracted to that level of ego, but Billy held a bit of interest around himself. There was some mystery, an aura of intrigue he seemed to hold around himself effortlessly, and that kept you interested enough to pay attention when you heard his name. He was just closed off enough to keep everyone guessing about him.

You took your time with your duties, making sure to snatch up the small silver ‘H’ earrings Heather had been eyeing for weeks now. They were in the case, so you were only supposed to be able to get them if you were getting a piercing in house. You’d convinced your boss to sell them to you, since you were an employee and wouldn’t tell anyone about it, and she agreed. You had intended to give them to Heather on her birthday, but there was no time like the present.

You half hoped that Heather and Billy would forget about you. You had this sickening feeling that it would be a tiresome ride. But to your chagrin they were waiting for you in the food court. Heather had gotten herself an Orange Julius and seemed to have put all her attention into the straw in her mouth, you assumed she was trying to put on a bit of a show for Billy, but he wasn’t paying much attention to her. You joined the group and endured quite possibly the longest and worst car ride of your life. Heather took over the front seat; it seemed that Billy had driven her to the mall, seeing as how her stinky work stuff was shoved in the back seat with Billy’s and, unfortunately, you. The entire back seat stunk like chlorine and mould, you guessed that one of them had forgotten a towel or swimsuit in their bag or under the seat for long enough to let it stink up the car. But that wasn’t the worst part, Billy didn’t seem to have A/C so all the windows were popped open and fresh air was blasting in your face and killing the smell, the worst part was that Heather seemed to think that this car ride was the perfect time to shamelessly flirt with Billy. She tried to pull her feet on the seat, but Billy didn’t want shoes on the leather, so she took off her flip flops but that was worse apparently. So she spent the whole time cooing about how hot he was and touching his arms and neck and hair. Touching his hair almost got her hand bit off. You wanted desperately for her to stop, you tried to tell her to cool it, but she told you to shut up. You didn’t bother after that.

But Billy seemed to notice that. He kept looking at you through the rear view, at first you thought he was just checking behind himself as he drove, but he was doing it too often for it to make sense. Then you finally let him catch your eye and he smiled. Well, it was more of a lopsided smirk, but you took it as a compliment. He hadn’t even attempted to smile the whole time he was around you, but now, with Motley Crüe blasting through the speakers and the wind whipping up everyone’s hair, he was apparently happy to have you around. You took it as a sign of gratitude for at least trying to get Heather to calm her hormones and just smiled back.

You directed Billy to your place, well at least you attempted to. Heather took over easily, drowning you out. “Y/N’s place is right over there-oh! Is your mom home? She’s gonna get pissed if you have a boy in your room; remember what happened when she caught Carl Simpson in your room? God, I can’t believe you lived through that!” she cackled loudly, her intent most definitely to make you blush. You simply rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, no she’s working late. She’s always working late.” You said, trying to hide the annoyed bite to your voice, masking it with a laugh. Heather just continued to cackle loudly, which hid your defeated sigh. Billy parked on the street without you having to ask and he climbed out angrily. You rushed to get ahead of the group, keys jingling in your hand, and unlocked the door.

“If you don’t mind, can you take your shoes off?” you asked as a wave of A/C smacked you in the face. You kicked off your sneakers as Heather and Billy stared at you, dumbfounded.

“Ugh, come on Y/N! That’s weird!” Heather moaned, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Heather. You know if I get shoe prints all over the tile, my mom will get pissed. You never have a problem with it when we’re hanging out, so don’t be a weirdo now.” You replied. Billy simply kicked off his own shoes, leaving Heather to groan loudly but to follow suit. Then and only then did you let them trek through your house and into your bedroom. You lived in a bungalow, so your room was at the back of the house, facing your backyard.

“Alright, you want your nose, yeah?” you asked, popping open your front door and heading to your bookshelf. You dug through your worn paperbacks until your fingers hit the firm spine of Catch 22. You pulled it off the shelf, popping open the cover and revealing the carved out middle. Your mother was the type to rifle through your stuff to try to catch you doing something wrong. You made the hiding spot solely to keep things that she’d take away. Inside, you had some spare cash, for emergencies, your hollow needle, and the silver barbells you’d bought to use when you pierced your nipples, which you’d been meaning to get around to. You’d promised your mother that you’d stop piercing people. She’d found the bloody needle and freaked out. Usually, it wasn’t that much of a blood bath, but you’d pierced Samantha Burke’s upper cartilage that day and underestimated both how much it would hurt her and how much of a mess it would make. You swore up and down that you’d stop, but your wannabe cool classmates paid big bucks for you to pierce their ears. There’d been an insane influx of boys wanting their ears pierced after seeing how popular Billy was. You didn’t correct them when they wanted the left ear, especially if they were dicks, and you took the cash happily. What your mother didn’t know didn’t hurt her.

“Yeah.” Billy said stiffly. He stood in the middle of your room, unsure what to do with yourself. You only lived a street down from him, too close to his father for comfort. His father already didn’t like the earring, doing his nose could get him in even deeper shit. He was willing to risk it though, purely to look cool.

“Which nostril, left or right?” you asked, bending down to reach into the lowest drawer of your desk, pulling out a lighter and, flicking open the flame, running it over the needle to sanitize it.

Billy chucked “Neither, I want the bull ring.” He said proudly, puffing out his chest. You looked up from the flame, looking him over for any signs of bluff. He looked too serious about this.

You nodded “Alright, I’ve never done a septum ring, but I’ve done the cartilage before, shouldn’t be any different.” You replied with a shrug “You got a big enough nose ring on you? Or am I cleaning and selling you one of mine?”

Billy reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a silver ring. It looked like it was actually made for a nose, which was a good sign. You’d pierced enough idiots to know that people think that any old earring would work in their nose or eyebrow or lip.

Heather was completely agog “No way, Bill! You can’t do your nose like that! I hate that!” she cried. Both you and Billy looked over at him, bouncing on your twin bed angrily. You raised an eyebrow at Billy, who seemed to understand the look immediately: ‘are you two dating?’ He shook his head.

You closed your eyes, trying not to strangle your friend. She always seemed to think that the world and people’s choices revolved around her. Instead of freaking out, you simply nodded “Heather, you want your second hole today? We can do it really fast before Billy’s nose.” You said.

“Oh duh! But I didn’t bring my earrings and I’m not paying for a set of yours, so unless you’re coughing up a pair for free, I’ll wait.” She replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

You flicked the lighter closed, placing the needle on your desk and pushing yourself onto your feet, reaching into your purse. You pulled out the earrings, tossing them to your friend. “Here, happy birthday.” You smirked. Heather caught them and squealed loudly, clutching them to her chest and kicking out her legs.

“Thank you!” she cried, reaching out to grab your neck and hug you tight. You chuckled, patting her back awkwardly.

“Okay! We’ll do yours first, go grab like a full tray of ice from downstairs, okay? And a roll of paper towel.” You instructed. Heather jumped to her feet, rushing downstairs as fast as she could. You resumed what you were doing, grabbing your lighter to disinfect the needle one more time.

“You wanna see what those things look like when they get ripped out?” you asked, turning your attention to Billy, who had taken to looking through your shelves boredly.

“What things?” he asked, his tone annoyed and deeply tired.

“The bull rings.” You replied. Billy hummed and you took that as the go ahead to grab the picture from your copy of Catch 22, pulling the Polaroid from underneath the cash. You handed it to Billy wordlessly.

The image was gruesome. It was of a guy, a few years older than Billy and you, with a bright red mohawk and dressed in a suit. He stood next to who Billy could only assume was the dude’s bride in an ugly reception hall. But that wasn’t the gruesome part; the part that made Billy’s stomach turn was the guy’s nose. It was mangled beyond belief, shrunken and crumpled. The guy only had one full nostril, the left one turned into a short of half open hole, a bunch of cartilage gone and gaping. It was quite honestly gross.

Billy cringed as he examined the guy. You took the moment to explain. “That’s cousin and her husband, Ben. Total punk rockers. Like three months before the wedding, I went with them to a Pixies concert and we all went to the mosh pit together. I guess I looked at this girl’s boyfriend or maybe I looked at her wrong because she tried to pick a fight with me. Ben stepped in, and before he could even say anything to her, she reached up and yanked out his nose ring. It tore the cartilage and he had to have his whole nose reconstructed. He couldn’t afford to have the nostril reconstructive surgery on top of the general nose reconstruction to save his one solid nostril and the bridge from collapsing.” You said.

Billy looked up, trying to bring his expression back to a neutral one “Why are you telling me this?” he asked, handing you back the picture.

You sighed “Look, everyone in the town knows that you get into fights. Having a big ole ring in the middle of your nose is just a really good place to grab for someone who wants an easy win on a fight.”

Billy scoffed “Only girls grab at shit to make a fight easier.”

You shrugged “Maybe, but I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t try to not get their ass beat by a guy twice their size.” You replied, popping the picture back into your kit.

Billy sighed “Would you do the left or right side then?” he asked.

You smirked slightly, looking him over. You bought your hands to his hands, which made Billy gasp slightly with his mouth shut. You ignore it, turning his face to the left and right, examining each side. The right side was better.

“Honestly? I wouldn’t do either. It’s not your look.” You said, letting his face go. He was very pretty up close, which gave you all the more reason to pull away before you did something stupid.

“Well I want something!” he cried and you laughed. Billy smirked as your face broke into a grin. It was the first genuine smile you’d had all day and it was quite pretty. He thought you were prettier than Heather, although he wouldn’t admit that if he still wanted the blow job Heather had been eluding to wanting to give all day.

“I can pierce your other ear, or give you a second hole on your right ear.” You said. Billy cringed and shook his head at both options. You thought for a second before a daring idea came into your head. You hesitated to give it, purely because you’d spent money on it for yourself, but you felt bad for making him give up on the idea.

“How about your nipples?” you said. Billy’s mouth fell open slightly, but he swallowed slightly, closing it. He’d never thought about piercing his nipples, but he immediately liked the idea.

“You ever pierce a nipple?” he asked, leaning closer to you. He was really hoping you’d say yes. He could feel himself warming up just at the thought of a great pair of tits with silver barbells glinting in the sunlight.

“No, but I had planned to-if you’re worried about me fucking up, I can do one of mine first.” You said, pulling the silver barbells of his dreams out of the book and flashing them to him with a smile.

“Oh no sweetheart...I trust you. But you gotta let me do yours if you want them done.” He replied.

“You do piercings?” you asked sceptically, placing the barbells on your desk.

“Doesn’t seem too hard.” He replied, inching closer to you. You back into your desk, exactly where he wanted you.

You chuckled, pressing a hand into his chest, and pushing him off you. “Yeah, the only amateur I get pierced by is myself, that way if I fuck up I have no one to blame but myself.” You explained. Heather burst in right on cue, ice melting down her hand and a damp paper towel roll in hand.

“Sorry! Took awhile to find the paper towel.” She announced, plopping the roll on your desk and tray next to it.

“It’s cool, you ready to do this?” you asked her. She furrowed her brow nervously, but you gestured to your desk chair. She sat down and gripped the arms to ease her shaking hands. You grabbed a cube from the tray and pressed it to her left lobe. “Alright, hold that there for a second sweetheart, I gotta unpack your earrings.” You reached for the package and pulled off the tape that secured the backings to the earrings. You pulled the cheap backing off the spoke and released the ‘H’ from the teal plastic hanger and placed it flat on the desktop.

“Nice and numb?” you asked. Heather bit down hard on her lip and nodded. You grabbed a black sharpie and marked her lobe. “Alright we’re going to count to three, take a deep breath with me, okay?” you took in a deep breath and Heather followed, shutting her eyes. You grabbed the needle and placed it against the marking.

“Let the breath go.” You huffed the breath out and when Heather did the same you plunged the needle into her lobe. She squealed but you counted loudly over it “One, two,” you grabbed the earring, placing it into the hole in the needle and pulling it through “Three. There, you’re halfway done.” You said, capped the earring and wiping down the needle with a bit of paper towel. Earlobes don’t generally bleed much and your needle came through practically clean, but you wiped it down anyway, if only to calm her nerves.

“Are you okay for me to do one more?” you asked. Heather nodded and you grabbed another cube from the tray, pressing it to the right lobe. The process repeated again and Billy watched on baited breath. At first, he was only interested in staring at your ass and imagining filthy things at the idea of you hovering over Heather and making her bite her lips for other reasons. But Heather wasn’t the interesting part of this image; it was you with your kind words and gentle but firm touches. Even when he got bored of the fantasy, he still watched you, utterly transfixed by you. Heather’s squeal pulled him out of his fantasy and back into the warm light of your bedroom. You capped the back of the second earring, stepping back to admire your work.

“Do they look alright?” Heather reached up to touch the new pierces, as if they weren’t real. As if she didn’t feel them stab through her head.

“They’re completely crooked.” You said, deadpan. Heather gasped loudly and you backtracked quickly “I’m kidding! I’m kidding! They look great!” Heather smacked you hard in the stomach, forcing herself out of the chair and over to your bed.

“We doing this, Hargrove?” you turned to him, looking him over confidently. He nodded, licking his lips. “Alright, lay down, Heather I’m gonna need you to move.” Billy tore off his shirt and Heather’s mouth dropped open as you ran the flame over the needle again.

“Oh my god what is going on?” Heather asked, practically drooling.

You rolled your ice “Heather, move your ass and grab me some ice. Billy, which side we doing here?” you asked, grabbing the package of silver barbells and ripping it open, pulling out one and bringing it over to the bed.

“Right.” He said confidently and you took the ice from Heather, straddling Billy and pressing the ice to his nipple. Billy shivered under you and you smirked.

“Heather, pass me the sharpie.” You said, keeping your eyes locked on his.

“This is insane...” Heather breathed, passing you the black marker. “Where’s your camera?”

“Nightstand drawer.” You replied, uncapping the marker with your teeth. Billy turned sharply to look for Heather, his face turning into a snarl. You leaned down, grabbing his chin and turning him back to you. His mouth fell open slightly as you leaned into his ear, whispering “Relax, you look hot...” you breathed hot air onto his neck as you spoke and his skin broke into goose bumps.

“You numb?” you asked. Billy nodded, even though he didn’t think his senses could be less numb if he tried, all of his nerves were alert and on edge. “Good...” you muttered, marking the spot for your needle and unscrewed one end of the barbell. You heard a click and saw the flash go off in the corner of your eye, but you ignored it, focusing on the warm skin under your hands.

You looked him over with a smirk “You need a countdown or are you gonna be a big man for me?” you asked, another flash trying to spot your vision. Billy swallowed hard and let out a small yelp, nodding confidently despite the sound coming out of his throat. “Good boy...” you whispered, shoving the needle through the hardened pink flesh. You felt every inch of him tense up as the pain shot through the bundle of nerves you’d just stabbed through. You mistook the final flash of the camera for stars as you felt him stiffen under your ass. You slid the barbell into the hollow end and slid the needle through, screwing the ball back on.

You smiled, admiring your work for climbing off him and dropping the needle on the mattress. “Alright, use rubbing alcohol to clean those at least once a day. I am not responsible for any infections you get because you can’t take care of yourself.” You explained, pulling your white tee shirt back over your hips. Billy sat up slowly, drinking you in like a cool glass of water, his mouth turning up as you turned around, packing up your kit and returning it to your hiding places.

“My mom’s gonna be home soon and I really wanna change. You good to take Heather home?” you turned your attention to Billy and he nodded slowly.

Heather got up, pulling you into a tight hug and sliding something into your back pocket. “Call me later?” she asked. You nodded, shoving your hands into your back pockets once she let go. Thick and glossy, they had to be the photos. You smirked; you’d look those over once she was gone. Heather headed out of the room as Billy examined himself in your full length mirror before tossing his shirt over his shoulder.

“You alright?” you asked, coming up behind him in the mirror.

“Just admiring your handiwork,” he replied, cocking his head to look at you “You think I can come back and get the other one done?” he asked.

“Sure...” you replied, looking him over slowly “Maybe you leave Heather behind next time.” Billy chuckled darkly, nodding slowly as his tongue slipped out of his mouth again.

“Alright then...I’ll see you around.” You said. You wanted to look over your pictures before you made any plans. You had to know if it looked as hot as it felt. But you had a feeling that it was more than you could ever imagine, no matter how hard you had tried in the past.

#stranger things #stranger things 2 #stranger things 3 #billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x you #billy x reader #billy x y #billy x y/n #billy x you #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove fic #billy hargove imagine #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove headcanon #billy hargrove hc #billy hargrove headcanons #billy hargrove aus #billy hargrove fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things headcanon #stranger things au

[carelessannie]

maybe it goes like this: steve builds his pack (part 1)

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

Read on A03

Read the Tony courts Peter wip

Stucky focus (Steve x Bucky)

A sweet, slightly angsty backstory in three parts (ending in Stuckony).

Major warnings: D/S Au, A/B/O Au, Middle/High School Au, talk about family death, public non-sexual submission, steve beats the shit out of some bullies

---

Maybe it goes like this:

Steve can’t remember life with a pack, but knows for certain that his Ma grieves for them. Ever since he was a boy, he would catch his Ma staring at fading photos of strangers, wiping tears from her eyes, and denying it when Steve would ask why do they make you cry.

It’s not until later in his life that Steve learns the truth about pack bonds, about the decision an Alpha makes in life to form a familial or an intimate bond with their packmates. His Ma refuses to let him learn about packs from school, instead sitting him down across the table, like an adult, Steven, and he learns about orientations and secondary genders when he’s nine years old.

His Ma explains the way kids will turn into adults: first establishing their orientation as Dominant, Submissive, or Versatile, and later in high school, presenting as Alpha, Beta or Omega. She threads their fingers together, and asks Steve if he can notice what she is, and he concentrates real hard, trying to decide, as his Ma laughs.

It’s okay, Steven, you won’t be able to tell what other people are until your own body has developed.

Steve nods, pretending like he understands, and asks his mom about her presentation. She gives him a sad— sad? — smile, and says she’s a Submissive Beta.

It’s silent as Steve puts those two things together with the strong, beautiful woman he admires as his Ma, and is still confused. He asks about packs, and Alphas, and what intimate and familial packs are— gaining an amused shake of the head from his Ma.

Why don’t I just tell you about my pack, yes?

Steve nods eagerly, desperate to hear the story of a family he never had,

My pack was intimate, Steven, which means we all loved each other very much and decided to live together. I met my— our Alpha when I was in nursing school, before you were born. She was already mated to two Omegas, and they had been searching for a Beta to join their pack. We fell in love. I met her Omegas, and all four of us were very compatible— do you remember what that means, hun?

Mhm, like when you know you belong with someone even more than anyone else.

Right, good, so we all belonged to each other, understand? We lived in our Alpha’s house, and all of us worked jobs in the city. About a year after joining her pack, I met your Pa. He transferred to the hospital I worked at, and he was also a Beta, like me, but he was Dominant. I introduced him to my pack, and they loved him too. Within a year, we were mated and I had you. Makes sense, Steven?

Yes, Ma. But… What happened to them?

At this, his Ma goes silent, breathing deeply before finishing the story for her son.

Do you remember the difference between packmates and bondmates, Steven?

Um. One is forever, right?

Yes, good, if you are in love or committed to a pack, they are your packmates, whether you are intimate or not. But sometimes, two people, or a whole pack, want to make their relationship last forever, and they become bondmates. All people have the private part of their necks, remember? You have to know, sweetheart, the only way to start a bond is to bite each other there while mating. We’ll wait to talk about mating until you’re in middle school, okay hun?

Yes, Ma.

Good boy. Now. The other important thing about bonding is that it ties your soul to another person’s forever. Any person of any orientation can bond with whoever they’d like, as long as they’re compatible. But you have to know, and this is so important, that once you bond, your souls become one. My whole pack was bonded, but… Daisy… hun, our Alpha died of cancer. She got very sick, and died. And when one bondmate dies, everyone who shares the bond gets sick and dies too.

… Ma, but. Why didn’t you die?

I decided, once I got pregnant with you, that I didn’t want to risk bonding to my pack. Your father and I loved each other so much, and you were the symbol of our love, not a bite. And I’m thankful, sweetheart, because I get to be your Ma and watch you grow up.

Do you miss them, Ma?

Every day, Steven.

Steve doesn’t remember his Ma mentioning her pack again after that day, but he did start to notice that she would get sad a few times a year, around forgotten birthdays and anniversaries. She would spend all of her days working hard to provide for the two of them, and always made sure Steve knew he was loved and valued, even when she denied herself the opportunities to find a new pack.

Looking back, Steve can see that they didn’t have a lot of luxuries or comforts, and definitely didn’t live in the best part of town. He had a few friends in Bushwick, growing up in the nineties it was a poor place to live, but they were perfectly happy to play in the streets during the day, and lock their doors tight at night.

As he ties up his laces, he thinks about his small family and is immeasurably happy. There’s no one he loves more in the world than his Ma. He hates the thought of getting on the bus and driving far away to switch middle schools, but his Ma reassures him that he will love meeting new kids and making new friends.

So he grabs his backpack, tightening the knots holding the straps in place, and hops down the stairs, only sparing one look to his Ma on the front step.

It’s a long bus ride to the school, more than thirty minutes. Over the summer, his Ma found out that the school system wanted him to transfer to a better school because of budget... something and overcrowding—? He’s actually not quite sure why he can’t go back to his old school, but his Ma made it seem like William Alexander Middle School thinks he’s special and has asked for him specifically. So yeah, Steve is really excited.

He’s going into Seventh grade, and gets his own locker, and gets to go to art class.

Steve spends the whole bus ride reviewing the schedule he already has memorized, and comparing it with the school map that his Ma printed for him, tracing his finger around from class to class. Bus to Nurse to Homeroom to Algebra to English to Nurse to Lunch to Gym to Art to Nurse to Bus.

The day passes this way, Steve confidently following his map around the school and taking notes in his small notebook. It’s not until Gym that he gets nervous, remembering his last asthma attack, and hopes the nurse told his gym teacher about his restrictions as he files into the gym and takes a seat on the floor.

“Steve Rogers?”

“Here.”

“No, Steve, I need to talk to you,” Steve looks up and sees his gym teacher, a really large man with a beard, waving him to the front of the class. The other kids turn to whisper to each other as Steve walks forward.

“I— did—”

“Steve, I have a note here from the nurse, saying you cannot participate in most exercises because of your health issues. Because of this, I’m going to suggest you join the sixth grade class, which will go at a better pace for you, and let Mr. Howlett help you further, okay?”

He feels his entire face flush dark red as the other students behind him whisper and laugh. He’s a seventh grader, not a baby sixth grader. He holds eye contact with the gym teacher, folding his arms across his chest, but still grinds out a, “Yes, Sir,” like his Ma would want him to.

“Good, it’s settled. Here, Mr. Howlett has sent James to show you where to go.”

Steve turns to find a small, smiling boy waiting for him at... parade rest? What—

“Alright Stevie, let’s go,” and the boy turns on his heel, marching across the gym as Steve scrambles to keep up.

James slows down slightly, letting Steve catch him, “First things first, my name is James Buchanan Barnes, but most people call me Jamie. I hate it, but it’s better than nothin',” he looks over at Steve, eyeing him up and down, “Second, Mr. Howlett is friends with my dad. You stick with me, and this class will be a breeze, capiche?”

Steve swears his eyes are falling out of his head, and he nods his affirmation.

“Good,” is all Jamie responds with before grabbing his hand, tugging him to join a younger, smaller group of kids in the gym. As they approach, Jamie lifts their hands in triumph, “I found him!”

Feeling betrayed, Steve rips his hand free in embarrassment, but Jamie just smiles wider and pulls him towards their gym teacher, Mr. Howlett.

How this man could be bigger and scarier than the last teacher, Steve doesn’t know, but refuses to hide behind Jamie as they approach, and instead stands up even taller. Mr. Howlett makes a grunting noise, flipping through a few papers on his clipboard, before looking up at the two boys.

“Rogers?”

Before he can respond, Jamie pipes up, “Yeah! Here’s his note from the nurse, and he’s my friend and— and can I help him out? Please?”

It’s pretty clear that Mr. Howlett couldn’t care less either way, but all Steve can see is the raw, eager look in Jamie’s face as he begs their teacher to help Steve.

Huh, he thinks, the only other time I've seen this look is when Ma begs the pharmacist to refill my inhaler prescription when her paycheck's late.

“Whatever, Jamie, just keep outta trouble, ya hear?”

“Yes, sir!” Jamie delivers, with a crisp solute to match, and pulls Steve towards the back of the class.

They settle down, and Jamie keeps holding onto his hand. Steve glances over and sees Jamie quickly look away, suddenly shy.

“Jamie?”

The smaller boy looks over, hopefully, “Yeah, Stevie?”

“Thank you, I didn’t think I’d get a friend on my first day, much less the best one in the school.”

Jamie ducks his head again before turning his brilliant smile in Steve’s direction, and Steve continues before he has a chance to respond, “and Jamie?”

“Yeah, Stevie?”

“I swear, cross my heart, that I’ll find you a better nickname.”

Jamie’s eyes widen, and then he’s laughing, loud and doubled over. He grips harder onto Steve, who can’t help laughing along, even as they get funny looks from the class and a gruff, c’mon, quiet down, from Mr. Howlett.

Shaking his head, Jamie tries to catch his breath as he responds, “ I— I think— I’d love that— Stevie.”

And all Steve can do is smile back.

---

It takes a week for Steve to settle on Bucky, and when Bucky says he loves it, Steve runs all the way home to tell his Ma.

---

Steve and Bucky have Gym class and Lunch together almost every day for a year, and spend the whole summer waiting for their schedules to be mailed, hoping for at least two classes together.

They get their wish.

---

Halfway through eighth grade, Steve gets sent home with a stamped letter from his guidance counselor. For the past few weeks, the guidance counselor has asked him and Bucky to have lunch in her office, and the boys always shrug and agree. Today, after finishing lunch, she hands both boys an official letter for their guardians to discuss with them.

“Whaddaya think’s in it, Stevie?” Bucky asks, squinting at the letter as he holds it up to the light. The boys are heading straight from lunch to the nurse’s office to get Steve’s medicine, like they do every day, and Bucky grips tight to his hand, intertwining their fingers, like he does every day.

“I dunno, Buck. Maybe she’s gonna tell your Ma that you smell and needa bath,” the comment earns Steve a light shove, and an affectionate, “Punk,” in response.

“Jerk,” Steve replies, a reflex, and reaches out to pull Bucky closer, “I wouldn’t worry ‘bout it, Buck. She’s been real nice up ‘til now—”

“Yeah, I know, I just don’t wanna bother my dad if it’s somethin’ bad.”

They fall silent for a moment, both boys knowing how busy and strict Bucky’s dad can be. Steve sees Bucky’s head drop, lost, as he looks at the letter in his small hands. He slows them to a stop, turns Bucky around to face him in the school hallway, and hums in approval as Bucky meets his eyes and slowly tilts his head back. He grabs onto both shoulders, squeezing lightly, and pulls Bucky up close. Fingers tighten in the back of Steve’s shirt as Bucky clings to him, and he nuzzles into his best friend's hair, comforting, while rubbing across his shoulders.

“So sweet, Bucky. There’s no way your dad could be mad at you, alright? Believe me?”

He gazes down into soft, glazed gray eyes, and freezes. Bucky is slightly trembling against him, looking at him like he’s a revelation. Steve feels a calm settle into his bones as he reacts purely on instinct, reaching up to grip Bucky around the neck.

A few things happen in quick succession.

First, Bucky’s eyes roll up into his head, breath leaving his body in a woosh along with a high pitched whimper.

Second, Steve widens his stance, straightening his back, and Bucky sinks, fast, to his knees, gripping onto Steve’s thighs for balance.

And then, out of the haze—

“STEVE ROGERS, YOU RELEASE THAT BOY IMMEDIATELY,” and the trance is broken.

Steve is horrified to see Bucky curled up on the floor, and he stumbles back. Large arms wrap around him, herding him away from—

“STEVIE, no, please—” the voice of his best friend, his Bucky, follows him down the hallway along with small broken cries, and Steve fights hard against the strong arms that hold him,

“C’mon, kid, it’s okay. Just gonna call your Ma and getcha settled,” but Steve doesn’t care.

His boy is back there, somewhere, calling for him, needing him, and he can’t get back, he can’t protect, he can’t save, he can’t— breathe.

---

It’s okay, hun. Shh, sweet boy, it’s okay.

— Sarah, he had Jamie on his knees, submitting—

— no, I don’t think Jamie has stopped crying yet—

— only a few more months, it’ll be fine—

---

Steve wakes in his bed at home, confused.

“B— bucky?”

“Hey, sweetheart,” his Ma pushes past the door, “you up alright?”

He blinks his eyes a few times, disoriented, “Where… what—”

“Shh, hun,” she holds out a glass of water, which Steve takes gratefully,

“Ma, where’s Bucky?”

His Ma looks nervous, and straightens the sheets on the bed, “Steven, Bucky is just fine. How much do you remember about what happened?”

The memories are sticky, “I was just hugging Bucky. He was scared that his dad would be angry about the— oh! The letter from the counselor. Ma, I have an important letter for you. Officially stamped and everything,” his Ma just nods, so he continues, “I dunno, I was hugging Bucky in the hallway, and then something was… different. Like really heavy between us? And all I wanted was to keep him safe, but then… Then they took him, and—”

Steve looks into his Ma’s eyes, suddenly horrified, “I hurt him, didn’t I?”

He must’ve, that would be the only reason they knocked him out and separated him from his— from his—

“No, Steven, not like that. You absolutely did not hurt him,” then what... “You were the perfect Dominant, hun, and it’s not your fault, okay sweetheart?”

“Dominant? Ma…”

“Hush, Steven. I’m going to tell you something important, and you’re going to listen to me,” he nods once, so she continues, “the letter from your counselor was very important, Steven. Remember how boys and girls start to present around your age? Your guidance counselor has been monitoring signs of presentation between you and Bucky, signs that were confirmed today in the hallway. Steven, today you presented as a Dominant, and Bucky submitted to you. Do you know what this means?”

“T— that we’re… compatible?”

His Ma nods solemnly, “Yes, exactly. The doctors are not sure yet if Bucky is Submissive or Versatile, but you are a strong Dominant. My strong boy.”

“But Ma, why was it so bad?”

She sits on the edge of the bed, scooting so that she can pull Steve closer,

“Because, hun, both of you dropped.”

“Dropped...”

Ma hums, finding the words to explain,

“A lot of times, when a Dominant and Submissive are together, they go into a headspace. It’s calm, it feels right and certain and instinctual. Usually a Dominant will take more control, and the Submissive will allow it, naturally. If this doesn’t happen in a safe, private space, or if it’s interrupted, both parties are at risk of dropping. That means you could feel sick, lost, and upset— and even panic or become depressed,”

Exactly like what happened to me, Steve thinks,

“— and with you and Bucky, you both passed out from the stress. That’s why I need to know if you’re okay, Steven,”

It makes sense. Now that Steve knows what to look for, he can easily recognize not only moments where Bucky has submitted easily to him, but also moments where Bucky challenged him and he ended up claiming Bucky’s submission in an argument. His best friend, the boy who fights for him and is always at his side— it’s overwhelming. All Steve wants to know is—

“Ma, please, what happened to my Bucky?”

“Steven, don’t—“

“I need to know—“

“He’s still in a drop, hun.”

Steve swings out of the bed, “How? It’s been hours,” he hears his Ma stutter out something, but feels a resolve settle, “I’ve gotta be with him, Ma.”

“No.”

“But—“

“I said no. His pack is sending me updates, but was very clear that they want you to stay away from Bucky for now. He needs time to recover and understand what’s happened, as do you. And, as your principal recommended, both of you are switching lunch periods and transferring classes, to help reduce the stress of being around each other, is that clear?”

Not even sure he’s heard right past stay away from Bucky, Steve drops back into bed in shock. No more Bucky? He can’t even comprehend what his day would look like without his best friend next to him, and just like that, he’s destroyed one of most important relationships in his life.

Hot, wet tears fall through the night as he wraps around his sheets, wishing he was holding onto a smaller, dark haired boy with crystal blue eyes.

—

There are only two months left until summer, and they feel like two years without Bucky.

Steve cries himself to sleep for the first week.

In the second week, he tries talking to the adults in charge, all of whom give him pity and suggest he’ll get over it and move on.

By the third week, Steve is angry. He snarls at classmates, teachers, anyone who looks at him the wrong way. He gets sent home with a note about his behavior, and his Ma just gives him more useless pity.

During the fourth week, he’s walking the hall to his last period of the day, when he hears a plea for help and the slamming of a door echo from the boy’s bathroom. He runs inside, ready to take down a bully, and sees two eighth graders pinning someone to the bathroom stall. He steps in just as they punch the boy across the jaw,

“Hey assholes, why don’tcha pick on someone your own size?”

The boys whirl around and sneer, dropping the smaller kid in a heap on the ground.

“Look what we have here, a pint sized savior,” the larger of the two smiles wickedly, as he sizes up Steve, and the other one delivers a kick to their initial target for good measure, “Wonder where you got the balls, tiny?”

Steve throws his fists up, and the boys smile even wider, amused. The larger bully lunges for him, suddenly, and Steve absorbs his tackle, trying to roll them around on the floor to get on top. He delivers a well aimed elbow to the guy’s throat, which has him sputtering, and drives his knee down between the kid’s legs, earning him a satisfying howl.

“Yo, kid, it’s okay, c'mon it was just a joke—“

The other boy’s words barely register as Steve lands one, two, three hard right hooks to the bully’s face, before pushing off his chest and standing to his feet. The second kid scoots past Steve, hauling his friend up and escaping out the entrance.

“St— Stevie?”

All of the rage expels from Steve’s body as he turns to find Bucky smiling up at him from the floor where the bullies had dropped him just moments earlier.

He approaches slowly, and notices just how bruised Bucky is, just how tired he looks. Steve catalogs the blood on his face, dark circles under his eyes, possibly dislocated shoulder, and gaunt expression with care, touching as little as possible.

“We should— we should go to the nurse, Buck. It doesn’t look good.”

Bucky nods and attempts to get to his feet, but lets out a weak groan and sinks back down to the floor.

“C’mon, jerk,” Steve teases, trying his best to hide concern and devastation, pulling Bucky back to his feet on his good side, “do I hafta carry ya the whole way?”

There’s a weak laugh that could also be a sob from Bucky, and Steve tries to take more of his weight as they limp towards the nurse’s office.

He feels hopeful after hearing a barely whispered, “Punk,” in return.

---

The nurse lets the two boys cling to each other on the small cot, and proceeds to call both of their packs, asking for both kids to go home early for the day.

Steve glares at the nurse the whole time, knowing that he only has a few precious moments with his best friend before they’re separated again.

“Bucky?”

“Yeah, Stevie?” the younger boy looks up adoringly, “you okay?”

“I’m fine, Buck, how— are you okay?” He does his best to hold back tears that are welling up in his eyes, and enjoys the solid feeling of Bucky, safe and warm in his arms.

Small fingers run over his cheeks, wiping away a few stray tears that had slipped free, and Bucky’s smile just grows, “So much better now, that’s for sure.” He wiggles a bit, and Steve laughs lightly, gripping his friend’s waist tighter.

He leans down, brushing his nose against the shell of Bucky’s ear, and whispers, “Nothing has been the same without you, Bucky.”

A shiver goes through Bucky’s body, Steve feels it by proximity, and Bucky remains silent, until Steve hears one hitched breath, then another. He pulls away slightly, looking into Bucky’s face as the smaller boy dissolves into tears. Bucky pulls himself closer, burying his face in Steve’s neck as great, giant sobs tear him apart. All Steve can do is shush him gently, kiss him on the head, and rock them back and forth, waiting for his Bucky to calm down as the minutes pass in silence.

“I can’t say I’m surprised,”

Steve looks up, turning his body to guard Bucky’s vulnerable one, and sees Bucky’s Beta father and Omega mother standing in the doorway, expressions both shocked and resolved.

“Steve, can you tell us what happened?”

It takes a few minutes for Steve to explain how he saved Bucky, and when he finishes, he watches the Beta and Omega exchange a knowing look, before they take a seat near the nurse’s cot. Neither move to take Bucky away, which is perfectly fine with Steve, who just holds his friend closer. A quick glance gown confirms Bucky has stopped crying and fallen asleep, sniffling lightly.

“We need to talk to you, Steve,” he hears Bucky’s dad call for him, and reluctantly looks up at both of them, noticing the guidance counselor also waiting in the doorway. He nods to allow them to continue,

“I’m afraid we haven’t handled this situation well, son,” Bucky’s dad continues, “and it seems to have hurt both of you boys. I’m sorry, and want you to know we only wanted the best for Jamie.”

“I get it, sir,” Steve shifts slightly, uncomfortable with the sudden attention. “Does this mean I can see Bucky again?”

The Beta leans forward on his seat, making sure to focus on the younger boys, “Yes, Steve, we want you and Jamie to keep being friends, at least until you go to high school next year.”

He can’t even help the relieved sigh and small smile that take over his face, letting his eyes fall shut as he relaxes back onto the bed. Good. He doesn’t even spare a thought for their friendship after middle school, completely convinced that in this moment, him and Bucky will be together, forever.

---

Steve and Bucky fall back into their old routine, classes and lunchtime back to normal, and the news of Steve’s fight spreads like wildfire throughout the school. Both boys find themselves surrounded by new friends, many of whom knew Bucky but hadn’t hung out with Steve before, and he enjoys watching his best friend thrive in newfound popularity.

As summer approaches, Bucky starts talking more about going out for football in eighth grade. Steve always knew he loved sports, and had often encouraged Buck to keep playing baseball when the younger boy would get frustrated, so he naturally pushes his friends to try out. What he isn’t prepared for is how little he sees of Bucky over the summer. He barely notices at first, still seeing Bucky a few days a week, but then he starts to get rain checks on his invitations.

“Sorry, Stevie, rain check— I’m doing drills with the guys all day,”

“Aw man, rain check? I’m at conditioning every day this week and literally can’t get free,”

“Maybe rain check for this weekend? The guys are running plays all day, and I just gotta be there,”

“— you understand, right Stevie?”

And Steve does understand. He decides to give Bucky a little more space, only asking to hang out once a week, if that, and focuses on preparing for high school. He spends more time with his Ma, and she helps him pick out a brand new backpack from Walmart. When he protests, saying his old backpack is just fine, she shakes her head and insists on buying a product that will last. He fills it with notebooks and new pencils and pens and even a pack of colored pencils with a shiny dual sharpener.

It’s a few weeks before school starts that his Ma receives a letter from the school system. He’s decorating the cover of his notebook, laying across their living room floor, when his Ma comes and sits next to him on the floor.

“Steven, I have something to tell you.”

“Okay, Ma, one sec,” he takes a few moments to gather his pencil shavings, packing up his colored pencils, putting them in the correct order, and closing his notebook, stacking everything neatly on top.

“What’s wrong, Ma?”

“Remember when you went into middle school, and the government had to move you to William Alexander because the school closest to us was overcrowded?” Steve nods, he does remember, “Well, they don’t have the same issue with the high school here. So you’re going to be going Bushwick High, which is just a couple blocks away from us.”

“Oh, I thought I was gonna be going to school in Park Slope again, near Bucky?”

“I know, Steven,” his Ma gives a small pat to his head, before standing up and heading for the kitchen, “why don’t we have a snack and talk about it more? They sent a list of classes, and you get to choose electives and everything.”

Steve tries calling Bucky that night, eager to tell him about his news, but just gets the answering machine. He tries two more times that week, and comes up blank.

Within a few weeks, Steve is walking into Brooklyn High, confident and proud, and barely spares a thought about missing his best friend at his side.

#stucky #steve pov #steve x bucky #d/s fic #childhood friends #soft stucky #fluff #minor angst #steve beats the shit out of some bullies #mcu #fanfic #MiGLT #omegaverse

[bananaapplewaffle]

About RWBY Vol 8 Ch 8

#rwby vol 8 spoilers #rwby spoilers #waffle rambles #rwby vol8 #rwby theories

[statticscribbles]

Misread: Dark

Summary: Kurtz/Reader; You start at Riverdale High and people get the wrong impression of you and Kurtz

You’re not surprised when your cousin Sam and your uncle are standing outside the fence. “Heyyyy Y/N. You have a good time at camp.” Sam winks and you roll your eyes stepping past the barbed wire fence of Centerville Correctional Center. “You got out early. We have time to grab breakfast before school if you want.” He smiles and you laugh nodding.

“I’d kill for a burger.” Sam holds his hands up. “You did according to the yard gossip right?” He barks laughing when you smack his shoulder. “I know, I know, it was a joke for Christ sake. We need to thank that lawyer by the way; what do you think we should give her?” You shrug. “I can think when I’ve had food.”

Sam’s decent enough not to comment on your clothes, what you had been brought in wearing; a painfully short skirt and an almost see through top. “You’ll have to change before school. Well at least grab a sweater or some shit. Pretty sure Kurtz left one in the car you can steal.” He nods to you and you tug over the half stack of pancakes he ordered. “Those are mine!” He smacks your hand and you pull one over drowning it in syrup as you push the rest of the plate over. “I think I might puke looking at that.” He snorts as you finish it, dipping the sausage into the leftover syrup. “I haven’t had anything besides prison eggs for breakfast for almost four months. I would drink that entire bottle if I wouldn’t puke from it.” Sam nods. “Come on then, school time, you’re gonna sugar crash if you have more of that shit.”

You weren’t surprised when Southside High shut down; although you were surprised both you and Sam had been transferred to Riverdale; he’d said something about the rest of the Ghoulies being in Greendale. You avoid walking with the other Southsider’s, who move from Pop’s; you avoid the buses and slip into Sam’s car. “You know he’s going to kill me right? For not telling him you’re in town.” Sam scowls as he pulls into the parking lot. You roll your eyes. “He won’t; he’ll be too distracted with me. Don’t worry. What class is he in now?” “English, you have math with me. Come on, I’m sure the teacher’s going to love you.” He smirks and you grip onto Sam’s arm. “Hey; you’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.” You nod settling next to him as the teacher isn’t in. No one moves to greet you but you tap Sam’s arm. “What?”

“Nobody here knows I got in trouble right?” He shrugs. “Most of them don’t know who you are. And really ‘trouble’ you could at least hint at the whole criminal vibe you’re oozing, you look like you rolled off a prison bus an hour ago.” He says as the teacher comes in and starts the lesson. You catch a few people looking at you, but you reason it’s either the fact you’re new or that it looks like all you’re wearing is an oversized hoodie.

“Lunch now; he usually sulks around the Serpent’s.” You nod and Sam’s hand tugs your shoulder. “He might not be to happy to see you.” You turn frowning at him. “Why?” “Because of what happened.” “I didn’t do anything!! He knows that!” You stomp your foot and Sam snorts rolling his eyes. You snarl shoving him, before he shoves you against the wall. “Try me Y/N. I dare you.” You see someone’s hand push against Sam’s shoulder and you’re confused as he lowers his arm.

“You’re new right?” The Serpent turns to you smiling. “Yes. Sorry about Sam, my cousin has a bit of a short temper; he hasn’t given you any trouble?” You ask. “No Kurtz is more trouble.”  He laughs half shrugging. “How?” You tilt your head and Sam smirks. “He tried to kill me. I’m Fangs, pleasure.” You nod side stepping Sam and Fangs. “Would you like a proper apology?” You ask Fangs as he walks with you and Sam towards where ever he eats lunch. You’ve already spotted Kurtz in the student lounge.

“I don’t get why you’re so uptight about the stupid rules, you’re not even the official leader you still have to-“ Kurtz trails off and you know he’s spotted you. “I heard you tried to kill him. What happened?” “No it wasn’t like that we were-“ “What happened?” Kurtz swallows you look unimpressed as he stays quiet. “I dropped him from the second floor.” “Did you apologize, at the least?” “No I-“ You arch an eyebrow and he swallows cringing. “I’m sorry Fangs.” “That’s not a proper one.” You arch your eyebrow again and he scowls, sighing as he stands, you whack at the back of his knee and he kneels after he stumbles, glaring at you as you nod to Fangs.

“Please forgive me. I’m sorry for trying to kill you.” Fangs nods as Kurtz stands, his hand brushing against yours. “I missed you.” He says and you roll your eyes as he pulls you into a hug, face against your neck. “I missed you too.” He sighs against you nodding, and you look expectantly at him. “Well who’re these Serpent’s you’ve cozied up with; I can’t just name them based on how they look like you used to.” You smirk as they narrow their eyes at Kurtz. “Ooh look it’s neck boy; you’re right he is tall enough to climb like a tree. Not bad looking either, you didn’t tell me they looked like a boy band.” “Sweet Pea.” He holds his hand out and you smile.

“Y/N, pleasure.” You name each of the serpents, they seem to take their nicknames in stride and welcome you into their group as Kurtz had been. You meet Jughead’s friends Archie and Veronica and his girlfriend Betty; as well as Josie and Kevin. You sit draped half on the chair half over Kurtz, his hand running through your hair. They watch you oddly and you assume it’s based on the fact you’re a ghoul. Kurtz smirks seeming to enjoy there discomfort and you wait for an explantation that doesn’t come. You notice his hands linger on you more when someone’s watching. You joke about him being a voyeur and Jughead visibly gags. You can’t help but laugh joining Kurtz in whatever odd game he’s playing with the Serpents. Your favourite is when Betty caught you kissing him and tripped over the trashcan when she tried to leave. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen her look so disgusted and it makes you dissolve into a fit of giggles every time you picture it.

“Y/N Walters.” You raise your hand, you can tell someone is watching you but you ignore it. “They’re siblings, I swear. I think Y/N took the fall or got transferred out or something to do with jail, but they’re siblings.” Betty hisses as you walk by. You try your best to keep a straight face, but you text Kurtz to let him know what his friends seem to think. He meets you outside, sliding into the back of Sam’s car with you. Sam glares fixing the mirror so you know he can see both of you. “You’ll have to tell them.”

“But it’ll be funny to watch them guess. I bet it’ll take a week.” “I’m still surprised they haven’t caught on, you think the rings would be a dead giveaway. I really think there’s only so many times they can catch us making out before it boils over.” “Well to be fair they’ve seen me wear mine for months without mentioning you.” “Ooh what about necklaces?” “No that’s too hard they’re Serpent’s remember, dumb as a sack of bricks.” Kurtz laughs. “Yeah they gotta be dumbasses to let you in.” You grin when he smacks your shoulder. “That’s it, no welcome home meal.” You laugh more. “And you knew I was coming today?” “Well you’re not going to be now.” “Will you two shut up about-“ Sam glares from the front seat. “You know what they say about people who get out of prison right Sam?” “I swear if you-“

“They’re incredibly sexually frustrated.” You have tears in your eyes at the disgust on Sam’s face. “She’s my cousin Kurtz, I don’t want to hear anything involving my cousin again.” “You do know she’s my wife right so we’ve-“ “Shut it!” Sam slams the breaks on and Kurtz gets shoved into the back of the front seat grumbling. “Fine, Y/N’s a god damn virgin, you happy?”

You’re not trying to hide it but still the panic that shoots through you when you hear some clear their throat is unavoidable. You know you weren’t being discreet, curled on Kurtz lap in the student lounge tongue in his mouth was about as public as you could get besides going at in the middle of class, which was something you had shot down when he suggested it. You shiver slightly watching as Jughead glares at the two of you. Kurtz nudges you behind him and you peer from around his shoulder, his arm snaking around your waist. “What Jones?”

“You two are related.” He states nodding and you can see the rest of the Serpents and his other friends gathering around. You roll your eyes. “We really taking advice from Mr. I’m dating my half sister?” Jughead narrows his eyes. “Charles shares one of our parents and-“ “He’s your sibling, so you’re dating your half-sibling. Not to mention didn’t your parents fuck when your dad was off being a serial killer?” You comment and both him and Betty glare. “We’re not actually siblings, unlike you two.” You assure them. “You two are brother and sister! You have the same last name, and you call your dad, well dad! The same dad!!”

“Kurtz do you want to tell them? I think they’d get a kick outta you saying it.” “Say what?” Jughead eyes Kurtz warily. “When I say dad, I mean my father in law.” “We’re not siblings, we’re married. You idiots” You chime in and everyone stares, as you hold up your ring, waving it slightly. The Serpent’s stare; turning to Kurtz. “You’re married!??!” “Yes? Why do you guys think I never dated anyone..” “You’re psycho! No one would want- Why? How would you even-“ “You go down to the court and sign the certificate? We both had parental permission; totally legal. Also I love her, it’s not that hard to think or do.” He shrugs at them and you loop your arm in his. “Why is that so surprising?” He asks and Jughead shrugs. Sweet Pea speaks up.

“Just never thought you’d find someone so well normal.” “Oh they don’t know; Sam was right.” “Right?” “I spent my summer in the Centerville Corrections Center. Wrong place, wrong time and all that.” you smile at them and they hesitate. “Why was it the wrong place at the wrong time.” One of them asks. You turn to Kurtz and he shrugs. “Your call.”

“I used to be a runner, not track, I got caught up on a pretty big job near Greendale, didn’t make it out at the right time is all.” “So you went to jail?” Jughead states and you nod. “Basically. I mean they let me out pretty quick, just gave me tons of community service. Which I still have to do, so that’s how I’m spending my summers.” “Y/N; you can’t just tell them that. The full story.” You glare rolling your eyes. “I was in the wrong place and the wrong time, with a knife; and one of the other runners got stabbed at the same time, it was a really weird coincidence.” “Oh my god?” “Yeah I get it I stabbed someone and-“ “You married Kurtz, like you actually chose to marry him? Him of all people.” “You’re insulting me in front of my wife after she just admitted she stabbed someone? Jesus the Serpent are dumb as fuck.”

Support My Writing?

#kurtz x y/n #kurtz x you #kurtz x reader #kurtz riverdale #kurtz #jonathan whitesell #jonathan whitsell imagine #riverdale #riverdale request #riverdale reader insert #riverdale imagine #stattic

[vcg73]

Glee Memories

Someone reblogged an old post to which I had contributed this run-down of my entire Glee fan experience. It made me laugh to read it, because I cannot deny ANY of the reactions even now. This is truly what it was like to watch the show in original air date Fox TV real time - endless mid-season hiatuses and all. Reposting just my own section:

Season 1 - SO good and fun! I want to see more of this!  Kurt, I love you. You’re so funny and I especially loved the second half of the season when you started singing solos and being a Cheerio!  Even the characters I didn’t really embrace I still want to learn more about. And the songs, and the hope for next year’s competitions…  Damn you, summer hiatus!

Season 2 - OMG, not as fresh as last year but still some amazing stuff!  Burt and Carole are cute together, though a little oblivious. Why didn’t we ever get any blended Hudmel family scenes?  Especially at Christmas.  *pout* Didn’t care for Kurt being basically sidelined at Dalton Academy for half the season, and his crush is kind of an oblivious jerk, but I have hope. Things much better by the end with Kurt back at McK and no joy to the bullies. Can’t quite make up my mind if I want to forgive Karofsky. He was awful, but also terrified. I’ll make up my mind next year. Aw, Jean Sylvester has died, I liked her.  Finn, a funeral should not inspire you to dump one girl and chase another. You big drip. Too bad about Nationals, but it’s okay that they didn’t go straight to the top. More reason to put out all the stops next year!  I liked this season a lot overall. Damn you, summer hiatus!

Season 3 - What the fuck has happened to this show? Blaine transfers in, acts like a dick, steals opportunities and insults people, but by the end every single character is completely up his ass. Wha-?  Wait, are Finchel a couple again for the 4,869th time, or are they broken up again?  I can’t keep up.  Am I really supposed to care about the suddenly evil Warblers and their smirking meerkat boss? Cause I don’t.  Warbler Council I miss you.  Shue, you’re horrible, get off my screen. Sue, go with him, you’re not funny anymore. Kurt ends up stuck in Lima with no prospects, while Rachel of the world’s worst audition gets his spot at the fancy performing arts school? What the hell!  And what do you mean, he only applied to ONE school, that makes no sense given his historic ambition to escape Lima, and determination to help Finn get out too. Someone at NYADA is a lazy bastard who couldn’t be bothered to send out the acceptance letters until JUNE, so most of their prospectives have probably accepted other offers by now.  This entire season made no sense and left a bad taste in my mouth. Thank God for summer hiatus!

Season 4 - Better in some respects. Really stupid in others. Kurt does an amazing audition and gets a second chance (that he should have had the first time) to get into his school.  I’ll take it.  Blaine, you’re a lying, cheating, selfish sack of shit and I’ve given up hoping you’ll ever improve. Just go away and stop horning in where you don’t belong. Adam Crawford, you’re a cinnamon roll too good for this world, but no way too good for Kurt. :)  I’m not usually a shipper, but you’re forcing me to ship hard.  New Glee Club, your boring clone selves need to step it up and show some originality if you want anyone to like you. Uh, wow, did that nasty Cheerio girl really try to kill the other girl by making her anorexic and totally get away with that with no consequences? Epic fail. Shue, you’re revolting. Oh, Unique. I like you, but why did you leave a star position at Carmel only to be meek about being shoved into the background at McKinley?  Really thought Blaine might get offed in that stink-bomb of a school shooting episode. It would have had emotional resonance for others and retired that character with a shred of dignity. Wasn’t that the point of having people declare Blaine teen angel/Jesus-standin for half the season? But no. Nothing happens and they chuck Becky-used to be cool but now is just super annoying-Jackson under the bus instead. (Also, why did nobody on the New York side even seem to know this headline-making event even happened?) Rachel, taking insensitivity and selfishness to new heights in New York. Why is Kurt suddenly your care-taker and general servant? Blech. Sarah Jessica Parker, completely wasted from great starting potential. Did Sam’s brain fall out in the deep end of the swimming pool and float away? Cause, whoa. Finn? Finn! Pay attention, dude. Cut your losses and go to your classes at Ohio state (or wherever). Burt, thank you for squashing that stupid proposal idea. But where is Adam?  Come back, adorable little cupcake!  Summer hiatus, thank you, I need a break but kinda like where everyone finally ended at the last of this year. This has definite potential.

Season 5 - Dead Finn = sadness. I kind of wish they had just retired him to off screen college somewhere. Wait, what?  God Damn It Writers! You can’t just transplant Finchel’s planned storyline to a totally different couple and expect it to make perfect sense, especially with no work or real character improvement to the horrible hair-gelled menace!  Copy glee club remains boring, and I don’t give a rat’s ass about their wash-rinse-repeat romances or lifeless competition performances. What the heck has happened to the timeline of this show?  Where did Adam go? Oh hey, it’s Demi Lovato and Adam Lambert!  Aww, I really like Elliott. It’s about time Kurt got a genuine friend. Rachel, just go away. I can’t deal with you anymore. Burt has been replaced by a pod-person. Creepy puppets more lifelike than most of their human counterparts by now. One Three Hill, I love you!  But I can already see that this is another great start with soon to be wasted potential when the contracts run out.  Damn it, writers! Don’t put Blaine in NYADA, that makes no sense at all.  If this school was as particular as you claimed, he wouldn’t have even made it to the audition round. Combat Jocks are all hot for Kurt, YESSSS!  Santana, I’ve never liked you because you’re horrid to everyone but you’re finally starting to grow on me a little. Aw, Chris Colfer’s episode plays like old time Glee!  Fun. More, please. Shirley MacLaine gives me the creeps as the old cougar lady. And we’re taking an early hiatus after shedding viewers like snake-skin all season. Can’t say I’m not relieved. I’m determined to see this show through, but my god…  

Season 6 - Only a dozen episodes this year? I can make it.  Ooo, Kurt dumped the albatross and sent him packing. That’s promising.  Rachel’s ego blew up in her face and she’s back in Ohio. Even more promising.  New New Directions, I surprisingly actually like you guys a little, though I liked One Three Hill much better. (And the Apples, whatever happened to those folks?) This could actually end with a bang instead of a whimper!  Aaand, I spoke too soon. Kurt get your cute butt out of Ohio, you can do so much better in New York, preferably single and dating new appreciative men!  Whoa, Sue is full on demented and dangerous this year. Why is she still in a teaching position again? Shue, you’re useless. Get off my screen. Santana previous potential goes right to hell in one fell swoop. Nice briefly knowing you, emotional development. Kurt, I’m serious, go back to NYADA and find whatever locker you left your spine in please. DO NOT take that asshat back for the 8,937th time, please!  He’s not worth it.  You … what …?  Oh my God, he did it, and fucking Dave Karofsky actually helped them along.  *beats head on wall*  No, please tell me everyone isn’t about to bend over backwards to put Rachel back on top of the heap again!  *sigh* That’s it. I’m done. 7 episodes left of this series and I just can’t take it anymore.  The writers-room monkeys have mixed pieces from 10 different puzzles, mashed them into a frame with a mallet, eaten the finished product, shit it into their hands, and tossed it at the few remaining fans still watching through the bars.

And that’s what you (lucky souls) missed on Glee!

#lol glee #but no I still haven't seen those last 7 episodes tho I've seen a few random clips #the hindenburg of television programs #glee scarred me #pissing away that much potential that badly just had to be deliberate but I still don't understand why

[murdershegoat]

nothing's sweeter than summertime and american honey

(written under the influence)

(also on ao3)

lena thinks she might be hallucinating, because there is no way kara danvers is skateboarding in the luthor family pool.

wait. go back a step.

why is the luthor family pool empty??

it’s the second last week of summer, and lena stands on the back porch, her arms now self-consciously folded across her half-naked body. she stares in confusion as kara danvers appears on one side of the pool and then promptly disappears, only to pop up at the other end moments later.

‘kara, can you quit it?’ comes a gruff, familiar voice. alex danvers from ap bio is fiddling with some pool equipment at the edge of the yard. ‘this is a huge job for dad and you’re gonna get us fired.’ neither girl has noticed lena yet, for which she is very thankful.

‘take a chill pill,’ comes kara’s reply. ‘you just wanna finish quickly so you can go see maggie.’

even from her distance, lena can see how red alex’s face goes. ‘shut up! we’re just friends.’

kara snorts. ‘sure, jt and britney are also “just friends.” just admit you like her.’

lena assumes they’re talking about maggie sawyer, who had transferred into alex’s grade late last year. alex grumbles something in response that isn’t a denial, and lena feels her heart soar. alex danvers is a l-- she likes girls?? lena bites her lip.

this summer has been a nightmare of loneliness, even more so than usual. her mother hasn’t been home in a month and lex had flown in yesterday and spent the day with her, only to fly out early this morning before she woke up. she’s spent the summer sending emails to her penpal jack, lazing by the pool, and clearing her search history of questionable googles. she’s also been grappling with a huge secret, something she can’t tell anybody (not that she has anybody to tell in the first place.) her secret is this: she really wants to kiss somebody. and that somebody happens to be in her grade. and that somebody happens to be a girl.

it happens to be the girl who is now skateboarding in the suspiciously empty luthor pool, the girl who’s impossibly smart and funny and kind. the only person at Midvale High who’s not seemingly shit scared of lena.

the realization has been haunting her all summer, refusing to give her a single moment of peace. and now, knowing that alex is, is also like she is, and hearing the way kara gently teases her about it... well, lena doesn’t feel as lonely anymore. she wants to say hello to the sisters, to ask alex a million questions and ask kara how her summer is going and if she wants to maybe, like, hang out together or something. but just the thought of either thing makes lena’s heart race uncomfortably fast and her mouth go all dry. she turns around and slams open the sliding glass door, but apparently she doesn’t know her own strength. as she steps into the doorway, the door ricochets against the the end of its track and bounces back, hitting her in the side of the head.

‘FUCK,’ she screams, before turning white and whirling around.

both danvers sisters are staring at her. kara looks concerned and alex looks livid.

‘yo, luthor,’ kara calls out. ‘you okay?’

lena wants to say yes, but then she feels something sticky on her temple, and brushes her hand against it.

great. she’s bleeding.

next thing she knows kara has her sitting on one of the deck chairs, and lena’s not sure if she’s got a concussion or if kara just looks extra.... phenomenal today. she’s wearing a basketball jersey and shorts and lena keeps catching glimpses of her sports bra. kara takes off her baseball cap and wipes her brow. 

lena frowns. ‘you cut your hair.’

kara’s gorgeous long hair is no longer, instead it’s short around the sides with a messy tuft on top. 

‘you don’t like it?’ kara asks, running her hand through it. 

‘it looks... dope,’ she replies, immediately regretting her choice of words.

‘i did it out of solidarity with alex,’ kara says, grinning. ‘she wanted to get a buzz cut but she was a bit self conscious.’

alex comes back into view, carrying a first aid kit with her. her hair, too, is shorter than lena remembers it being. alex cleans up the side of lena’s head.

‘look, i don’t think you have a concussion, but you can hang out with kara and i while we finish the pool and i can keep an eye on you.’

‘alex is a junior EMT now,’ kara says proudly. ‘she’s also pretty much single handedly running our dad’s pool company this summer.’

right. the pool. that’s why they’re here.

‘why were you skateboarding in it?’ lena asks.

‘it won’t leave any marks,’ alex says quickly. ‘i promise. don’t worry about a thing.’

‘no,’ lena says, wincing as alex keeps prodding her tender head. ‘i mean, why is it empty in the first place?’

alex averts her eyes. ‘it was empty when we got here. we just gave it a scrub and an acid wash to get rid of some of the, uh, stains at the bottom.’ 

okay. lena thinks she knows what that means. and it also explains why lex left so early this morning. he fucking killed someone in the pool and needs to clean up after himself. fuck. she’s so damn stupid, thinking he’d actually come home to spend time with her. and she feels so embarrassed, having to explain how she’s used to her brother killing people so she’s not surprised or shocked by this.

kara lays a hand on her shoulder and smiles down at her. lena thinks she’s about to comfort her in some way, and she feels her heart start to race again.

‘can i grab something to eat?’ is what kara says instead, and lena’s face falls at the same time Alex whacks her sister’s arm.

‘kara, that’s unprofessional.’ but lena just smiles.

‘what do you want?’

///

lena didn’t think her day would be spent watching the danvers sisters fill her pool and eat sandwiches prepared by bertha the luthors’ cook, but here she is. kara sits on the grass across from lena, her toes digging into the green grass. she has what lena can only assume is a birkenstocks foot tan -- four fat white strips of skin on an otherwise perfectly browned body.

the pool is filling behind them, and alex sits on the other side of the yard, whispering into her cell phone.

‘how’s your summer been?’ kara asks with a mouthful of turkey sandwich.

‘quiet,’ lena replies. ‘my family’s been busy and not around much. i’ve hung out with our staff, but i don’t think it counts if they’re paid to spend time with you.’ she laughs, trying to detract from how sad it sounds. ‘how is yours?’

‘busy. my dad’s been, uh, he’s sick. so alex and i have been doing all the pool jobs. not much time to hang out with friends.’

‘and alex... she’s... with maggie sawyer?’

kara chokes on her sandwich. 

swallowing painfully, she lowers her voice. ‘could you, like, not say anything? i was teasing her and she’s freaking out because she’s not sure if you heard anything or not and it’s still... new and our parents don’t really know and if the school finds out---’

‘don’t worry,’ lena assures her. ‘i won’t say a word.’ her chest swells at the way kara smiles gratefully and lena realises she’s an absolute goner, head over heels for someone who could never like her back. lena almost wants to tell her the truth. maybe it’s the sun beating down on them or the welcoming scratch of grass against her legs or the summer feeling that has finally settled over luthor mansion. but before she can say anything, alex calls out.

‘kara, come help me finish treating the water!’

///

‘it should be good for swimming after about twenty four hours,’ alex says, packing the last of their equipment into the truck. lena hands them both the envelope lex had left, plus a hefty tip for each of them.

‘we can’t accept this,’ kara says, shoving the notes back into lena’s hand. alex doesn’t follow suit.

‘don’t be dumb,’ lena rolls her eyes. ‘my brother left it here for you, and i don’t want it.’ she hands it back to kara, who pockets it angrily. alex looks pleased her sister’s conscience hasn’t cost her the cash.

they climb into the truck and it rumbles to life.

‘catch you later, luthor,’ alex says, giving her a little salute.

‘hey,’ lena says, before she can talk herself out of it. ‘did you guys wanna come hang out tomorrow? the pool’s all clean and it feels like it’s a waste if i’m the only one using it. and you can bring ma-- a friend, if you’d like,’ she directs the last part to just alex.

alex’s eyes bore straight through her, trying to size her up.

‘we should be finished work by the afternoon,’ she says finally. ‘we’ll see you then?’

lena grins. ‘awesome.’

///

the last few weeks of summer fly by with a new routine in place. the danvers sisters finish work in the early afternoon and make their way to lena’s house, picking up maggie on the way. they lounge around the pool and bertha makes them mountains of food and her husband michael teaches them how to barbecue and lena finally understands what summer is supposed to feel like.

alex and maggie give up whatever pretense they were holding onto a few days into the routine, holding hands and stealing kisses whenever they thought the others weren’t looking. kara pretends to be grossed out but lena sees the happy gleam in her eyes as she does so. she wonders if kara can see the wistful look in hers.

spending time with kara feels like a dream. she tries to teach lena how to skateboard on the long, winding driveway that leads up to the house. lena stands as rigid as can be on the board and kara holds onto her waist and guides her along, assuring her that she won’t fall, catching her when she inevitably does. in return, lena teaches kara the basics of fencing because kara seems oddly excited to learn, and it’s the only thing that lena can actually teach her. kara’s skill-set seems exhaustive and incredulous. it’s like she’s a superhero or something. after just a couple of afternoons of practice, she’s better than some of the people lena’s been fencing with for years.

kara, lena is learning, is impossibly great. like, she’s known that for years; they’ve been in the same homeroom for two years, and are in lots of other classes together. she’s seen kara’s brain in action, and her humor and her kindness. but now she’s learned of a different kara, one that isn’t always in a great mood, one that isn’t always trying to please people.

kara still has walls up, lena’s sure of it, but she’s letting lena into the inner fortress, one layer at a time. and in turn, lena welcomes kara into her own heart, desperate to know the girl, and in turn, be known by her.

///

‘you know i’m... i’m... gay, right?’ 

it’s the first time lena’s said it out loud, and the sound of it alone makes her feel warm and comfortable in a way she’s never imagined. it’s a few days before school goes back and they’re floating alone in the pool -- maggie and alex taking the afternoon for themselves. she doesn’t quite know why she’s telling kara; maybe it’s because she knows how accepting kara is of alex and maggie, maybe it’s because she needs kara to figure out her big, overwhelming feelings.

‘i didn’t know,’ kara says with a small smile. ‘but thank you for telling me. i’m glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me.’

‘nobody else knows,’ lena confesses. ‘i mean, i barely know. i only really figured it out earlier in the summer.’

‘what made you realise?’ kara asks, before shaking her head. ‘sorry. you don’t have to answer that.’

‘it’s okay... i just... i realised that the feelings i had for this girl felt more... urgent? than i’ve felt about people before? like, i needed to be near her in a way i don’t usually need to be around friends.’

‘what’s she like?’ kara asks, and lena blushes.

‘she’s beautiful. and she’s wickedly smart. i feel like she would’ve been a handful as a kid, but she’s learned how to balance out that recklessness a bit. and she makes me laugh a lot.’

‘she sounds great,’ kara says, and lena laughs.

‘you have no idea.’

a lull settles between them as they float side by side. the sun begins to disappear behind the woods at the back of the property, and with it goes the warmth of day.

‘you know...’ kara says. ‘alex told me she thought you were gay. said she got a vibe.’

‘really?’ lena doesn’t know if she should be embarrassed or scared or proud.

‘yeah. she also said something else.’

‘what’s that?’

kara leans forward, no longer floating on her back. lena does the same and faces her.

‘she said... she said she thinks you like me.’

lena wonders if drowning herself is a viable way to get out of this conversation. or maybe she can just... swim to the other side of the pool.

‘lena?’ kara prompts.

‘yes?’

‘is she. is alex. is she right?’

lena looks at the water, unable to meet kara’s eyes.

‘yes.’ she says, in an impossibly small voice.

kara closes the space between them. she rests a finger under lena’s chin and tilts her head up. lena bites her lip as she looks into kara’s annoyingly blue eyes.

and before she can register anything else, kara is kissing her. she tastes like chlorine and sunscreen and cola lipsmacker and lena has never tasted anything quite as good. lena’s hands find kara’s neck and kara’s find lena’s hips and they stay like that -- making out in the pool -- until the sun is no longer in the sky and they’re both just slightly shivering.

‘do you want,’ lena says, slightly breathless. ‘do you wanna maybe go up to my room?’

kara grins and kisses her again, chaste and quick. ‘can we stop by the kitchen first?’

#supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #supercorp fanfic #supergirl