#this country's medical system is BROKEN

[onlyherefortheshowmances]

1 week from today is my last day in the apt. I’ll put the whole description of the situation below a read more if you haven’t heard about this yet.

Please continue to share and donate as you can.  

eB@y Listings (more to come): https://ebay.com/usr/dandyc60 

GFM: https://gofund.me/978fb41c 

V$nmo: @.clbrown91 

I also have Chime, so moots if you do, too and wanna transfer that way, DM me.

Hi, I'm Cassie. I'm 32, and I have a laundry list of mental and physical disabilities that have made it impossible for me to work any longer (since September 15, 2022). I have undergone a lot of testing and am still working out with some providers exactly what is causing all of my symptoms. Most notably I am switching PCPs for the 2nd time in a month (but at least I’m just switching back to where I should’ve just stayed at the office my mom still goes to and a doctor I know from when I went there as a teen/young adult) and rheumatologists for the second time in 3 months (because the one I actually liked left the practice). I also need to see dermatology, but the soonest new patient appointment at any location in their network (that takes my insurance) when I called them in December 2022, was in SEPTEMBER 2023, so that’s gonna be awhile.

I managed to escape January and February's rent at my current apartment thanks to the donations I received on this fundraising page. However, there was a hearing on April 4 before the local judge for my eviction due to non-payment of rent. I was able to explain to the judge and rep from my rental agency (who went to school with my mom; small town) what was going on, and the judge agreed (as did the rental agency) to what’s called a pay and stay. I had 10 days (until April 14) to pay them all the back-owed money and then could just keep paying every month. Of course that did not happen and earlier this week a notice was taped to my door that I will be forcefully evicted May 1 at 12:01 am if all back owed rent and and their legal fees (which I don't plan to do at this point because it’s just a game.)

Going forward, my plan is to obtain a larger vehicle that it would be more possible to live out of (a van or or larger SUV). If anyone local (Central PA) has any leads on somewhere or someone that might have a relatively inexpensive minivan or cargo van-type vehicle available, please let me know. As I, unfortunately, totaled my car last Wednesday (April 19) coming home from Urgent Care no less, I no longer have that trade value to rely on even. So I need to come up with at least $3k to just buy an old but operational van and ideally as soon as possible so I can start figuring out what I can keep with me, what will go to storage, and what I can sell or donate or throw away.

The county in which I reside doesn't have any emergency shelter resources where I'd be welcome as a queer, single, disabled, atheist. The only shelter in the county is run by a religious organization, and they require you to attend and actively participate in religious services to stay there. There are a few smaller organizations, but they are all for very specific populations (single mothers, domestic violence survivors, recovering addicts, etc.) or already have years-long waiting lists (including getting a section 8 voucher which isn't even accepting applications and hasn't been for over a decade because there are that many people on their waiting list). The local LGBTQIA+ organize does have housing grants, but they require you to have proof of at least some income to get them. My therapist is trying to get me into the county behavioral health case management program which may open some other doors, but it is not guaranteed. She sent the referral almost 3 weeks ago and I have heard nothing since; I know they’re already overworked, so I was probably just too complex of a case to add to someone’s work load.

List of my disabilities (I am more than happy to field questions regarding these and how they affect my ability to work, etc. via email, twitter, tumblr ask box, etc.):

Rheumatoid Arthritis (for which I am on immune-suppressing medications that have side effects including chronic fatigue and increased susceptibility to all illness - including the one I have right now which only immune-suppressed people ever get)

Fibromyalgia (for which I have adverse reactions to the first 3 of 4 medications on the market. l am titrating up on the 4th and final medication on the market and crossing my fingers at this point. I am in Physical Therapy two times per week; was three for many months to help with stability and strengthening).

Osteoarthritis (in almost all of my major joints; knees, hips, elbows, shoulders, as well as throughout my spine). My right knee has given me problems all my life (for a reason I don’t really want to get into today); I tore my labrum in my right shoulder in June 2018 and had it repaired surgically on December 21, 2018. When I went in for my follow up first thing was ‘You’re allergic to adhesives. That should NOT be that red or itchy.” Oops. Second thing he said was “Had to check your wrist band after I got a look inside your shoulder (cause the surgery is done face down) to make sure I had the right patient. The inside of your shoulder looks like you’re in your eighties.” I was not even 28 at the time.

Hypermobility Syndrome (which causes instability and proclivity to injury; it also means that the ways I’ve learned to sit that a comfortable to me are probably absolutely wild for anyone else. My PT caught me sitting in a chair with the soles of my shoes together and the outside of my feet against the floor and looked at me like I was insane. I also dislocate joints without realizing it on occasion.) - it's probably actually hEDS but the closest doctor that'll test and adult for that is 90 minutes away.

PCOS (I’m not on Metformin ER to help control this, though I haven’t seen many changes yet. I am under the care of an endocrinologist for this).

ADHD (for which I am medicated with a stimulant - the one that’s been making the nation’s neurodivergent population rage because it’s been on back order for a year)

Various Attachment and Trauma-Based mental health disorders including cPTSD and clinical anxiety. I also believe I am autistic and am about to have an evaluation with the local center for autism and developmental delays as the neuro-psychological evaluation I had at the end of that year was a waste of time and gas money, but that’s another story for another day).

Recurrent Occipital Neuralgia (which causes headaches and difficulty moving my head/neck)

Chronic Migraine (at least 2 or 3 per month; I have Imitrex, but it can only do so much).

Severe seasonal allergies (especially to tree pollen). Like severe enough they had to put intermittent asthma in my chart to get a rescue inhaler approved cause they get that bad.

I am also excessively nearsighted (with astigmatism) to the point where my ophthalmologist has warned me that my retinas are so thin they could detach at pretty much any second.

Even with the new plan going forward, I will still need to pay for phone service (which will like increase so I can use the mobile hotspot feature) as well as car insurance the new vehicle. I hope to be able to afford a campsite at a local campground with electric access for at least part of the summer. If I do not have that option, I would at least like to purchase a small rechargeable (preferably solar charging) generator to have electricity available without killing my car battery every night. I will also continue to need gas money to get to and from appointments and the pharmacy and such and money to purchase necessities not eligible for food stamps (i.e., toilet paper, paper towels, etc.).

More about me for anyone that doesn’t know:

I'm a gray-aro/ace cis-female. Much closer to ace and aro than not.

I'm single (see above) and have no children (nor any interest in ever having any for a variety of reasons; I’m going to ask my OBGYN next time I see her if she can at least take my ovaries out so the PCOS will stop, because the Endocrinologist refused that option).

I don't have pets because my apartment doesn't allow them, but I would love to eventually obtain a service dog (mobility and anxiety/PTSD cross-trained, preferably) and/or have cats. I think if I get a van and get it set up properly, I will probably get a kitten in June. My cousin’s cat just had a litter the other week.

I don't currently use any mobility aids, but my bad days are starting to make it obvious that I will need to in the nearer future than I would like. I got a handicap parking placard just recently which is the first real step in that direction.

I enjoy cooking and baking, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to complete such tasks due to pain. And will be impossible living in a van, though if I get a camp sight I want to get one of those single burner propane camp stoves. I also plan to try to have a mini fridge and microwave in the van itself.

I write fanfiction (which you probably knew if you know me).

I went to college for three years, but I don't have a degree. I was a social work major, and the major classes weren't at all transferable and I could not get through field placement junior year. I've considered going back to school, but at this point, I'm not sure what good it would do, and money would be the ultimate factor.

#help #homeless #carless #disabled #disability #this country's medical system is BROKEN #doctors #tw (below cut): medical stuff #pain #medications #hospitalizations #Rheumatoid Arthritis #Hypermobility #adhd #anxiety #cPTSD #attachment disorders #possible #hEDS #probable #autism #chronic illness #chronic fatigue #and i'm going to tag my fandoms and i'm sorry for putting this in the tags #but i need the money so badly at this point #harry potter #that one is for the ebay listings tbf #nerdfighters #nerdfighteria #p4a

[saygeadvice]

#gotta love murica #spoonie #invisible illnesses get ignored #you don't look sick #there's a reason it's called medical “practice” #American Healthcare system #trans broken leg syndrome also applies #chronic illness #invisible illness #but you don't look sick #i'm fine #it's fine #everything is fine #i hate this country

[homunculus-argument]

I was born and raised American, but with everything that's happened over the past few years I've been considering moving to another country. but I don't know if this is just "the grass is greener". Not sure if this really fits with your blog, but as someone from Europe what's your attitude towards living in the US?

I've visited there a handful of times and most of my thoughts are "damn bitch, y'all really live like this?" People in Finland like to complain about the climate, the taxes, and how stingy the welfare systems are (if you currently rely on them) or how costly they are (if you're currently not relying on them), but honestly most of the time that's because people are used to having it so good, or don't really have a perspective of how bad everyone would be doing without the infrastructure that everything runs on.

Sure, nowhere is perfect, and there's always room for improvement, but honestly the people I've met in the US only really seem to think that their system is good because they've never been anywhere else and don't know any better.

Mostly it's stuff that you'd never think about if you hadn't been to both places, like being able to trust that tap water is drinkable or that you can safely walk/bike to wherever you need to go. The US really doesn't have the kind of ability to just hang out in public places, just walking to the town and sitting on benches. Having public parks and libraries isn't really the same if you can't just walk there, and you genuinely need a car to go anywhere.

I moan and lament a lot about how the winters here are hard to endure - at the darkest time of the year the sun rises at 9 and sets before 5 pm - but I wouldn't move from here just because of that, mainly because of how reliably everything is structured here. Sure, it's all run with funds from relatively high taxes, but that is a self-feeding loop on its own. The tax-paying workforce isn't a disposable resource that's wrung dry once and tossed out when it's broken, but even when you're just another cog in the machine, you're one that's maintained, not replaced if broken.

I had a lot of breakdowns when I was younger, largely due to depression and other mental issues I had due to the undiagnosed ADHD. When I started breaking down at work in my old factory job, they couldn't just fire me on the spot because of the workers' union fought tooth and nail to make sure that you can't throw people out for getting sick, and mental illness is treated no different from other health issues. I was allowed to take two years off work in order to study into a career I thought would fit me better. That didn't turn out well either, but I was still allowed to bounce back and forth between odd jobs, sick leave, and studying - all on government pensions during the spots when I wasn't working a wage - until I found the right diagnosis, the right medications, and the right job.

It's not a hyperbole to say that I owe my life to the ample and studry social welfare systems that Finland has in place. Sure, you're just another brick in the wall, a cog in the machine, but if you keep breaking down, it takes a long time until they completely give up on you if you can somehow make them believe that you're trying, because it's cheaper for the tax system to figure out how to make you fit into the machine than just toss you out. A human being is an expensive investment and if getting you to the right job, education, diagnosis, medication or even arranged housing is what it takes to get your ass back into the workforce, they'll at least try.

I'm perfectly happy to pay the taxes here to fund the system that helped me onto my feet when I was in no condition to function, and to support the people who never do recover, find their place, or be able to support themselves on their own. And I can live with the peace of mind that even if I fall apart again, that safety net is still there. It's brutal, pragmatic, and regards your health and welfare as a means to an end - to get you working and paying taxes again - but they still do prioritise your welfare. Cogs are cheaper to maintain than replace.

[celestie0]

does anyone wanna be on taglist for this gojo x reader fic? 🧚‍♀️✨

edit: first chapter is out!!

HI BABES after much deliberation i am starting a new gojo fic series :””) I PROMISE I WILL STILL BE ON THAT KICKOFF GRIND but ugh i just had too many ideas and i just neeeeeeed to start this series rn

it's based on this concept idea i had (changed a few things though. also, if you commented on this post, i'm alr gonna tag you haha so dw ab commenting under this one too)

here’s a bit of info about it:

ᰔ title. TO BE DECIDED STILL

ᰔ pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader

ᰔ genres. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, lots of jealousy, an insane amount of profanity, suburban shenanigans; btw gojo in this fic is in his early 30s n reader is in her late 20s

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, n have been taking care of your sick mom ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation with him is worth any amount of money.

some side quests. your ex bf is a cop and is determined to prove your marriage is a sham because he's jealous, it appears gojo's love life history is not as simple as it may seem either, also there will be lots of secondary angst because of reader's mom's sickness :'') i will really be delving into a lot of the struggles of having a sick family member (in this fic, alzheimer's & cancer)

here is a little teaser.

and here's another lil teaser i posted yesterday

BUT ANYWAYS yeah please comment below if you'd like to be on the taglist!! tysm for your support :'') the first chapter will likely be posted tomorrow (4/19) if not saturday (4/20 eyyyy)

#eeeep excited #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo smut #gojo x reader smut #gojo x reader fluff #gojo x reader angst #jjk gojo #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru angst #gojo satoru fluff #smut #fluff #angst #gojo satoru fanfiction #gojo x tou #long fic #jjk fanfiction #jjk series #romance #fake dating #fake marriage #neighbors au #ongoing series #taglist

[merakiui]

victorian era doctor riddle rosehearts and his darling patient suffering from hanahaki disease.

dr. rosehearts who is the finest medical practitioner in town, renowned for his expertise and intelligence in the field. so it's only fitting that, as a noble and only child hailing from a wealthy set of parents, you are given the best treatment available. riddle sees so many affluent families and so you're no different. this disease, however, is an oddity. it's very scarcely documented in old texts, and most of the information regarding it has been lost to time. supposedly, the cure to this flowery ailment remains unknown. for riddle, this is as much of a challenge as it is an inspiration. he will cure you; that's his promise as a proud doctor.

so to better monitor you and keep track of your condition, riddle suggests you be moved into his home. a temporary arrangement, of course. it's not nearly as grand as what you're used to, but it is quite spacious. it's half hospital and half home, a place in which patients come to him. for isolation purposes, if their illness is particularly dangerous, amongst other reasons. and what reason would anyone have to doubt the great dr. rosehearts?

your parents are desperate. they'll do anything if it means you'll stop coughing up petals or complaining of a throat scratched sore by persistent thorns. riddle collects samples of the petals in hopes that the town's botanist rollo flamme can identify the exact species, where it commonly grows, how to safely manage it, and so on. it's a peculiar case, one riddle has only ever spied remnants of in old notes.

you rely so heavily on dr. rosehearts, your way of life compromised. you beg him to help you, to get rid of whatever's causing this. it takes time, but rollo identifies the flower. it's a curious finding. such a flower is not native to this part of the country. in fact, there should be no reason for it to be here, for it cannot thrive in this type of environment. riddle is left puzzled. just how did such a flower find its way into your system? what is sustaining it? is it sapping your life away? so many questions arise, yet none can be answered in full.

most importantly, what does the timeline look like if death looms on the horizon? how long does he have before the worst strikes?

it has been some time and, though he knows he ought to remain impartial, dr. rosehearts has found himself infatuated with his poor patient. he tends to you like one might a rose in a garden, diligently and ever so carefully, pruning away signs of sickness in order to keep you somewhat healthy. it feels inevitable, even more so when your legs give out and, much to your horror, little branches with tiny leaves begin to poke through your ankles.

so now you're placed in a wheelchair, and that is that. most days he thinks you're more doll than human, especially since your spirits seem far more dampened than they once were. you wither in your chair, quiet and wistful, longing for good health. though it's in his profession to save, he's never seen you in a more beautiful state. like a statue doomed to exist in stiff silence. like a single flower struggling to brave harsh conditions. like a doll destined to be taken care of by his gentle, capable hands.

he was never allowed dolls as a child. such toys were distracting according to his mother. but now he has one for himself and, even if he thinks himself too old to play with dolls, you're one he just can't put down.

perhaps it's for the best that your legs are broken and your lungs are weak and your entire body is supported by this parasitic plant. with this, he's given the chance to finally indulge in one of the many things he was denied as a child.

the appeal of a doll is that they are versatile. they can wear an entire wardrobe of clothes. they can be bent into various positions. they can look upon you with glass eyes and smile with rosebud lips. and they can't speak. never speak!

riddle doesn't need to be traditional for something so unethical. weddings and rings and courtship mean everything in his dreams, but he is a man watered with logic and sensibility. and you are just a quiet, fragile rose drowning in unwanted, suffocating affection.

#meraki mumbles #yandere twst

[hanna-lulu]

i’ve been comparing the usa now to germany circa the late 1930s and it is not a favorable comparison.

let’s see what we’ve got:

increasing antisemitism

increasing transphobia

increasing ableism

continued oppression of indigenous peoples

laws being introduced to ban gender-affirming care and remove children from their homes if they are allowed to live as they wish

books being banned for having honest and age-appropriate portrayals of race/racism and queerness/homophobia

pushing maid (medical assistance in dying) on people with disabilities and even people who are just poor (this is more in canada but i’m including it here anyway)

a right wing that is seen as ridiculous and absurd, yet is somehow still managing to hold onto power while liberals/leftists laugh it off as if they’ll run out of steam

it’s important to note that in the 1930s, when hitler came to power, the international community thought he was a joke. his overblown rhetoric was silly, his history was laughable, and nobody took him seriously. they thought it would all blow over. also, he wasn’t saying anything that a lot of people didn’t secretly agree with. antisemitism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and racism were widespread throughout europe and the usa, and a lot of people had less of a problem with what he was saying and more with how he was saying it. (think kanye west’s antisemitic comments, which joe rogan did attempt to stop him from making so blatantly, but didn’t actually disagree with.)

the first medical and educational facility for gender affirming care was in berlin. did you know that? the institut für sexualwissenschaft (known variably in english as institute of sex research, institute of/for sexology, or institute for the science of sexuality) was founded in 1919 and headed by magnus hirschfeld, who was both gay and jewish. he helped build a library in the institute that was dedicated to the topics of gender, eroticism, and same-sex love. the research undertaken there regarded sexual health of all people, gay, transgender, and intersex, as well as counseling and treatment for alcoholism, gynecological issues, venereal diseases, contraceptives, and more. sexual reassignment surgeries were performed successfully there. the goal was to help those who were suffering because they could not live as who they truly were and to educate the common people, because people fear what they see as different, what they cannot understand.

you won’t find the books in that library today. they were burned as part of the nazis’ campaign of terror and censorship. in 1933, 6 years before world war 2 officially broke out, the institut was broken into and looted by the deutsche studentenschaft (aka the german student union). young adults who had spent their formative years surrounded by hateful rhetoric were accompanied by a brass band as they destroyed this oasis of understanding and knowledge. hirschfeld himself had fled germany years before, as he had been targeted numerous times by nationalists/far right “activists”.

berlin once had a thriving queer community. germany was a home to many jews, my own great-grandparents included. my great-grandmother’s younger brother had a learning disability. their home turned on them out of fear and ignorance, the people told by their leaders that other human beings were not really human, but degenerate filth. my great-grandparents escaped with their lives. many– my great-grandma’s brother included– did not.

the concentration camps that imprisoned and killed so many jewish, queer, and/or disabled people (as well as romani and political prisoners, and japanese-americans IN THE USA) are not consigned to the past. our prison system disenfranchises those who are placed in it and uses them for unpaid labor. refugees are caged for daring to hope that our country– the so-called “land of the free”– would take them in when their homes turned on them. indigenous people are ridiculed and attacked for wanting to help our planet heal and for asking to conserve the land that was stolen from their ancestors. almost a hundred years since the holocaust, and we still haven’t learned.

don’t look away from this. it’s not going to blow over. those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it, and we are already experiencing a resurgence of fascist beliefs and rhetoric.

write to your representatives. VOTE. protest if and when you can. show them that we are HERE and we refuse to be written out of the history books, banned or burned away. we are human beings. we live and love and deserve to do so with dignity.

and if appealing to your humanity isn’t enough, remember this poetic version of a quote by german lutheran pastor martin niemöller, an early nazi collaborator and antisemite who later changed his views and opposed hitler’s oppressive regime:

“first they came for the socialists, and i did not speak out–

because i was not a socialist.

then they came for the trade unionists, and i did not speak out–

because i was not a trade unionist.

then they came for the jews, and i did not speak out–

because i was not a jew.

then they came for me– and there was no one left to speak for me.”

there is always another enemy in fascism. anyone who is different will eventually be a target. white supremacy is poison, and fitting the mold of a “perfect citizen” cannot keep you safe. queer infighting and pushing down people who you find “too weird” will not stop the people who hate all of us. to the far right, we are all wrong to our very cores. solidarity in the face of oppression is the only way to survive, live, and thrive.

#i’ve been meaning to write this post for a while #i’m so sick and tired of this bullshit #you’d think we would have learned by now #long post #history #world war 2 #world war ii #the holocaust #antisemitism #homophobia #transphobia #ableism #racism #der institut für sexualwissenschaft #magnus hirschfeld #adolf hitler #book banning #book burning #fascism #concentration camps #maid (medical assistance in dying) #martin niemöller #first they came #solidarity forever

[brucewaynehater101]

I see yalls Tim and Darksied are friends and help eachother with parenting and raise you. Sometimes when they complain about certain people to eachother, that person vanishes or winds up with many broken bones. Tim groaning about Ras? Old Man gets a visit from Darksied who says, "little maggot. You have hurt someone I care about." In front of other villians before eye beaming him. The DEO are after Secret again while she's on Earth visiting friends? Tim blows up a few government buildings and is now wanted in another country.

This is how they show they care about eachother. Saying it with words? They would both rather die than show that weakness. But anyone who bothers their buddy doesn't survive for long. Also small things like Tim upgrading some security stuff to have better sensors while Darksied offers to grow him a new spleen.

When Tim adds "no longer missing Spleen" to his medical files there are a lot of questions from the Bats.

I'm sorry. Real quick, I saw the phrase "before eye beaming him" and I died of laughter. I can't even begin to explain how humorous I find that specific phrase. Eye beaming 😂

Anyways, I absolutely love this take on it! The spleen being grown back is a beautiful cherry on top with this outlook. In this AU, I did hc Tim doing some security work or helping with any management problems Darkseid might have, but the descriptions you added were great!

I wonder how often they would actually fight on the battlefield together. This seems more like the other would suddenly find out that a problem they had "miraculously" disappeared. Do they work together for some of these ends, or is it more of a quiet favor/care system?

I also imagine the Bats freaking the hell out when they realize just how friendly Tim is to Darkseid. It's giving, "You dated the brutal dictator of Nicaragua," but with befriending Darkseid instead.

How would Tim make a civilian cover for suddenly getting his spleen back? Does he claim he was misdiagnosed?

#dc comics #tim drake #dc universe #dc au #thank you for the ask!!!!

[stellar-constellations]

ive got 0 idea if you takes reqs, but i recently finished your yuri briar x reader AND IM IN LOVE

so.

we got a slightly sick yuri, but what about an extremely ill y/n that yuri has to take care of ? with his stubborness theres sure to be some aruging

of course, if youre not feelig up to oneshots, some cute headcannons for them whould be awesome !!

youre such a great writer mwah i hope you have a good day !! :3

        Sick! Fem! (Y/N) x Yuri Briar

        This can be read with or without reading my Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! (Y/N) series: An Alliance (part 1).

Beware! This fic DOES contain SPOILERS for the manga and for the Yuri Briar x Fem! (Y/N) series: An Alliance!

        Setting is AFTER the reader rejoined WISE (so Yuri and (Y/N) are married and [Y/N] becomes an official double-spy).

        I rarely get sick. I think part of that is because of all the viruses and infectious pathogens I've been exposed to growing up. Growing up in the poor side of Luwen, Westalis. Joining the Westalis military and watching as doctors with not enough medical experience or knowledge bullshit their way through life-threatening procedures or even unknown viruses from Ostania get tons of syringes jabbed in their shoulders. Traveling through countries and hiding in sometimes very unhygienic places as a spy. All of those factors has probably helped with my strong immune systems.

        There's been times where I've been sick that it's completely left me bedridden for days, sometimes even a week or two, at a time. Every once in a blue moon, I'd get a common cold or sore throat, but if I can walk, then I can work.

        I figured today must've been one of small common cold days when I woke up with a foul taste in my mouth. You know when you're sick and you have that awful taste when you cough? It's taste like that sour, off-putting taste.

        I ignored the system and buried my head back into my pillow, hearing the annoying alarm shut off thanks to Yuri.

        "(Y/N), it's time to get up." Yuri spoke.

        We've both grown used to this routine now. Yuri spends a good ten minutes trying to drag me out of bed while I lay motionless, purposely ignoring him as I try to go back to bed.

        Today, however, I feel even more tired than usual. It feels awfully hot under these covers and my body feels really sore, almost numb.

        "Come on. Don't start this today! You know we have an important meeting with the Director!" Yuri groaned, getting back on the bed to crawl over to my side and grabbing my arm.

        Right, the meeting with the Director. I'm supposed to go over there and discuss any new information on WISE in correlation to the chase with Winston Wheeler (and Twilight).

        Me and Yuri finally healed up enough to where we can be sent back to work. I was getting real sick of that liquid diet, I never want to have soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner ever again (Yuri can agree with me on this). My broken nose is also healed too so now I can stop wearing that stupid bandage.

        Apparently, there's been a security breach in the SSS's latest website and I'm supposed to narrow down a list of potential suspects that could've caused the breach. I contacted The Handler last night and had her conduct a list of unfortunate Ostanian civilians to place blame on. I don't like having to bring innocent people into such matters, but I don't really have a choice. If the SSS finds out I'm still working with WISE, I'm royally screwed. The work the agents in WISE are given is far too important to sacrifice, so unfortunately I'm going to have to trade in unsuspecting civilians in order to keep the peace between Ostania and Westalis.

        I already know the true perpetuator of who caused that security breach; it was me. I needed information on Winston Wheeler so I hacked into the SSS's security files and emails and got information, then I snuck into city hall and got some public files of Ostanian citizens with the information I learned and was able to identify WISE's mole with just a tad bit of luck. The whole operation almost costed me my head with how I almost got exposed as a WISE agent to Yuri in the sewers along with almost dying to Winston (I'll never say this to her face, but thank God that Nightfall came when she did).

        "Fine, fine..." I groaned, moving my hair out of my eyes and slowly sitting up from my bed.

        I stood up from the bed and felt lightheaded, whiteish-black dots appearing in my vision as my body temperature raised and a nauseous feeling came over me, my ears ringing as I felt the dull thud of myself collapsing onto the carpet.

        I saw nothing for a long time, but a short time as well. I was able to regain my vision and found myself on the floor with Yuri hovering over me.

        Damn, I fainted.

        I've fainted a lot in my lifetime to the point it's probably unhealthy now. Exhaustion, extreme sickness when I'm bedridden, and sometimes even just from changing position too fast or standing in the same position for too long. By now I'm very aware of the symptoms, I just usually believe I can fight through it and continue on (the amount of times I coaxed myself into believing this then fainting afterwards is absolutely foolish of me by now).

        "(Y/N)? Are you okay?" Yuri questioned, a concerned expression on his face.

        "I tripped over my feet." I lied.

        "You sure stayed on the ground for a while. You weren't responding to me." Yuri responded, a bit suspicious.

        "I was hoping you'd leave me alone so I could go back to bed." I lied, again.

        "Seriously? Come on, we've got work to do." Yuri sighed, grabbing my nightgown's sleeve.

        Luckily my sleeve was covering my arm so he wouldn't come into direct-contact with my skin and feel how hot it is.

        "Do we want to cook breakfast or go grab some?" Yuri questioned, lifting me up from the ground with ease, placing me on my feet as I mumbled a "thanks".

        "Let's go out. I don't feel like cooking. I'm still sleepy." I responded, watching as Yuri walked to his closet and grabbed a pair of mundane office clothes.

        "I was thinking the same thing. It'd be quicker too." Yuri commented.

        I inhaled deeply, feeling as though I couldn't breathe through my nose. I still felt light-headed and I feel like I'll topple right over if I take a step forward.

        "Can you choose my clothes today? I don't wanna." I breathed out, crawling back into bed and staying above the covers since it felt too hot to get under them.

        "Don't plan on falling back to sleep. I will drag you into the car with you still in your nightgown if I have to." Yuri grumbled, shooting me a glare but walking to my closet nonetheless.

        He looked through the hanging clothes before grabbing a green sweatshirt and finding a pair of blue jeans on a shelf. He threw the clothes at me as I worked up the energy to get today started.

        "You better be dressed by the time I'm done changing." Yuri emptily-threatened, grabbing his own clothes and walking into the bathroom.

        I huffed, wanting to do anything but get out of bed, yet I decided to listen to him. He's right, today is an important day. It'll help me prove my innocence to the SSS (and I have to make sure I keep Donnie's little trap shut in case he decides to put his two-bits in and expose that I was gone during the whole mole hunt.

        I stood up from the bed, ignoring my wobbly head and aching head as I changed into the clothes Yuri picked out for me. It's funny that even though we're both basically married now (just without throwing a real wedding), we still change in separate rooms. I'm completely fine with that though, it's nice to take things slow.

        I grabbed sock and brown boots and slipped them on, then immediately fell back onto the bed to get at least an extra minute or two of rest.

        Yuri came out and looked at me, crossing his arms as he stared at me with his laser eyes.

        "Are you sure you're okay? Your throat sounds sore. Do you want a cough drop?" Yuri questioned.

        "I'm just really tired." I spoke, adverting eye contact.

        "Should we get coffee too?" Yuri asked, tying his boots on.

        "Yeah, that's a good idea." I nodded, raising my hand up in the air for Yuri to grab.

        He grabbed my hand without question and lifted me off our bed, allowing me to plant my feet back on the ground. I reached for my glasses on the dresser (if you wear any) and grabbed my wallet, shoving it into my pocket.

        "You're really hot." Yuri commented.

        "Thanks." I smiled, still having some energy to mess with Yuri.

        "I meant your skin is hot. Are you really sure you're feeling okay?" Yuri questioned, his concerned expression appearing.

        "I'm fine! I'd tell you if I feel off, so don't worry about it, love." I spoke, giving him a smile in hopes to reassure him.

        His shoulders released some tension, but they still weren't fully relaxed, so he doesn't believe me just yet.

        "I just have a small cold, nothing I can't handle. Now let's go, we still have work to do." I spoke, grabbing his hand and leading him to the door through blurry vision.

        I bumped into the door and huffed, feeling around for the handle.

        "(Y/N), that's a wall. The door is behind us." Yuri pointed out.

        On normal days, he'd chuckle about how much of a dumbass I am, but today he seems really in-tune with my physical state.

        "My vision is still blurry 'cause I'm tired." I spoke, coming up with that stupid excuse on spot.

        "Here, let me help you." Yuri spoke, guiding me over to the bedroom door as he opened it, pushing me through before walking out and closing it behind him.

        "I got the rest." I reassured, taking a few steps forward to go to the front door.

        I stopped once I felt my stomach start to turn and my vision start to blur once more. My ears started ringing and it felt like I was swaying from side to side.

        I took silent deep breaths to calm myself down and hopefully settle my immune system, all while Yuri stood behind me, closely observing me.

        "Are you sick?" he finally questioned.

        "No." I huffed stubbornly, gathering my energy to take another step.

        It was a terrible idea as I immediately fell forward, my body going limp as I couldn't control my feet or hands or anything any longer. Even though I was unconscious, I felt pressure under my head and on my wrist. I saw darkness again and waited for it to pass, before finally regaining my vision once more.

        Yuri had his hand under my head, checking my pulse before making eye contact with me as the waves of blurriness started to fade from my sight. He gave me a look I'd never think I'd get shot my way for fainting, he gave me a scowl.

        "I'm not sick." He taunted in a high-pitched voice.

        "Oi! I don't sound like that!" I huffed.

        "You told me you weren't sick. You said you'd tell me if you were feeling off, you little lying brat." Yuri huffed, moving his hand from under my head and allowing it to hit the ground with a thud!

        "Ow..." I groaned, reaching up and grabbing my head as my head ached, probably a headache forming. "Jerk! I didn't treat you like this when you got sick!"

        "I didn't lie when I got sick!" Yuri retorted.

        "Y-yeah... but..." I paused, thinking of something to say. "Just shut up and help me!" I huffed.

        "You're lucky I'm a nice guy." Yuri muttered, grabbing my hand and picking me up, throwing me over his shoulder.

        He opened our bedroom door and placed me back down on our bed, making sure to keep the covers off me. He walked up to his separate nightstand and picked up the phone, sliding the rotary wheel to his desired digits until he raised the phone up to his ear.

        "Hello, Director? This is Yuri Briar speaking. Me and (Y/N) Briar are going to take the day off, she's terribly sick and I don't trust her to be by herself. We can reschedule the meeting another day?" Yuri spoke

        "Oi! I hear you!" I huffed, throwing a pillow at him (albeit weakly).

        "Yes, that was her. She sounds terrible, huh?" Yuri spoke, now just taunting me.

        "You're a horrible man..." I grumbled.

        "Yes, sir. Thank you so much." Yuri spoke before hanging up the phone. "Looks like you're going to get your shut-eye after all."

        "Thanks, Yuri!" I smiled.

        "Do you think you can stomach anything? Do you want some soup?" he questioned.        

        "Yeah, I guess." I sighed.

        "I'll go make you some. Now, you change into some more lighter clothes so you won't be as hot, then you can go back to sleep." Yuri ordered.

        It really wasn't something I'd fight him on as I nodded, taking the pajamas I was wearing earlier from Yuri's hands. Yuri left the room as I changed, then got back into bed. I closed my eyes (taking off my glasses if needed) and listening to Yuri's command on some shut-eye.

        Yuri woke me up sometime later, gently shaking me awake.

        "Hey, wake up." Yuri spoke, coaxing me to waking up.

        I opened my eyes to see Yuri's face. He picked me up from the bed and took me out and into the dining room, sitting me down on my dining table seat. A bowl of simple broth sat in front of me, something simple that I wouldn't throw up.

        "You can eat on your own, right?" Yuri questioned.

        "Nope." I smiled.

        "Of course..." Yuri grumbled.

        He grabbed his chair and pulled it up close to me, our knees touching as he lifted my chin up and grabbed the spoon.

        "You should keep your distance if you don't want to get sick." I spoke.

        "Don't worry about it. The only time I get sick is when Yor is out of town." Yuri spoke.

        Right, I remember having to take care of him when Yor left a few days for her job at city hall. He's surprisingly easy to take care of since he doesn't talk as much when he's sick due to his aching throat. I thought.

        "Open up." Yuri commanded.

        I didn't put up a fight as I opened my mouth, taking a sip from the spoon.

        "It's pretty good, Yuri." I complimented, opening my mouth for another spoonful.

        "I got the recipe from a cookbook." Yuri admitted, scooping up some more and putting it in my mouth.

        I finished the bowl and thanked him as he picked me up and carried me back to our room, placing me down on the bed.

        "I'll be back. You just hang on a second." Yuri spoke, walking out of the room.

        He came back with a towel and some medication in hand.

        "Do you like medicine?" Yuri questioned.

        "No, who does?" I questioned, looking at him funny.

        "I mean, will you put up a fight?" he questioned.

        "...I mean, I guess not since it's for my health?" I muttered.

        "Good." Yuri smiled, twisting open the cap and pouring the dark red liquid into a small medicine cup.

        He raised the spoon to my mouth as I sighed and opened my mouth, drinking the liquid. It tasted disgusting and I hated every drop of it, but I understood it was for my health.

        "Thank you for taking care of me, Yuri. You didn't have to take the day off too to take care of me, but you did anyways. I appreciate it greatly." I smiled.

        "It's the decent thing to do." Yuri muttered, not taking the gratitude.

        "Don't underestimate your kindness, Yuri. I was just messing with you when I said you're horrible." I admitted.

        "I know that much, dummy." Yuri huffed, flicking my forehead with his finger.

        He pushed my chest for me to lean back on my pillow, then grabbed the cold wet towel and placed it on top of my forehead.

        "Now get some more rest, I'll come check up on you in a bit." Yuri spoke.

        "Thanks again, Yuri. I love you." I smiled, watching as his face started to match his eyes as he covered his mouth with his arm to hide his smile.

        "Whatever... I love you too." He muttered softly, but I could still hear him.

        The whole day Yuri tended to my needs as I got my well-deserved rest. It's nice to finally be able to sleep all day again, the last time I did that was years ago.

        I can't remember the last time I was cared for when being sick. Before the war when I was a kid, I remember being bedridden for three days and being unable to do nothing. My dad was out working and my mom was sleeping because she worked night shifts as a nurse (she was able to find a hospital that allowed married women to work there), so she slept during the day and went to work at night.

        My younger siblings couldn't take care of me because they were too young to have any medical knowledge. My older sister was out collecting rocks and my older brother was out with his friends. Even if they weren't busy, they still wouldn't be able to help me since they've never gotten sick (or at least didn't remember it).

        Even after joining the military and ending up getting the Spanish Flu I wasn't care for. It was actually a miracle I survived it because of my age and size. I must've found a lucky penny or something around that time because I luckily didn't have any severe symptoms, but after seeing all the people dying around me from the illness, I took absolutely no chances to being transported in the crowded nursing tent. I stole a small tent and ran far out into the woods along with a bottle of medicine, eight water bottles, four cans of tomato soup, and a blanket, spending five nights out there before I finally felt better.

        Because I didn't allow myself around any others to worsen my sickness, my Memory T-cells were able to identify and grow an immunity to the disease and I was able to overcome it.

        Even when I became a spy, the first few missions I got sick pretty often because of all the traveling and sight-changes I had to endure, but I soon grew accustomed to the constant change in scenery all around Westalis and Ostania that my immune system was eventually able to get used to it.

        But even then, it's nice to be cared for and pampered. The last time I got fed by someone was when I was two. The last time someone tucked me in for bed was when I was three. I never did have someone make me soup for when I'm sick, or give me a wet towel to place on my head, or even just give me a bottle of medicine.

        Even those the gestures might be small and "what a decent human being does" as Yuri said—it means the world to me. To be swaddled in the warmth of protection and love, something I was once sure I'd never be able to experience again until I met Yuri Briar.

        The ring on my finger isn't just a ring; it's an everlasting vow between two lives now connected through life and death, sickness and health, wealth and poverty. It's a pledge of undying adoration, sincerity, unwavering loyalty, and shelter; all of this for Mr. and Mrs. Briar to share with one another.

        BONUS: Headcannons about Yuri and (Y/N):

        Yuri and (Y/N) have their own seats at the dining table they silently assigned to themselves. Yuri's seat is the closest to the front door, he chose this seat in case (Y/N) ever does try to run away to go back to WISE (in actuality, it's so he can protect her if an intruder ever breaks in from there).

        Believe it or not, Yuri and (Y/N) aren't much of physical lovers. The love languages in their relationship is quality time, acts of service, and (shockingly) words of affirmation.

        (Y/N) can't detect sarcasm despite being sarcastic herself at times.

        (Y/N) used sleeping as a coping mechanism growing up. She used it to escape from reality; the hardships of money and war, deception and betrayal. She slept so much she learned how to lucid dream on her own. Now she sleeps because she's tired often due to work.

        (Y/N)'s always tired no matter how much sleep she gets; 30 minutes to a day. She once slept for 22 hours once and woke up feeling miserable. She slept for twenty minutes while waiting for a target during a mission and still felt like total shit; so no amount of sleep can truly make her feel 100% awake.

        (Y/N) has problems with memorizing people and their names so she focuses on a certain attribute that helps her recognize a person (ex. someone's hair color, the shape of their eyes, their jacket).

        (Y/N)'s memory isn't good either, she'll be in the act of cooking then forget she's cooking and walk away. Yuri now supervises (Y/N) to make sure she doesn't wander off and let the smoke alarm go off again.

        If (Y/N) had the option to go to the past, future, or stay in the present, she would choose staying in the present in a heartbeat. She believes if she goes to the past she might mess something up that would make it so Yuri and (Y/N) never met, and she doesn't want to go to the future in case she discovers something then accidentally messes up the future by going to the present and changes actions that would've led her to something happy in the future to something disastrous instead.

        Yuri's side mission in life is to try to discreetly find out (Y/N)'s favorite flower without being caught. He wants to surprise her but refuses to ask her for the answer. So far it's been a month of trying.

        (Y/N) has absolutely no idea when she's being flirted with by someone other than Yuri because she doesn't believe it's possible that someone could actually have interest in her (she still secretly questions if Yuri's proposal was true or if it was a gig to gain trust for their contract).

        Yuri has memorized every speckle of color in (Y/N)'s eyes because of how often he stares into them. He is a firm believer of giving someone his attention when they're talking with him.

        Yuri does, indeed, like to mess with (Y/N) because he thinks it's cute when she gets frustrated.

        When (Y/N) gave Yuri's mother brownies as an offering he cried in his car the entire time that (Y/N) talked to Yuri's mother. That day was the day Yuri started to lower his guard without even realizing it.

        Even though Yuri and (Y/N) bicker a lot, they're very aware of their true feelings since they always look at each other's eyes when talking (the eye is the window to the soul after all).

        It's a known fact that Yuri and (Y/N) always work with each other at the SSS. They help each other with listening to bugged rooms, Yuri listens and (Y/N) writes. Whenever they do interrogations, they're always in the room with each other in case one of the interrogators decide to get hostile. During raids, (Y/N) prefers to be lookout while Yuri heads into action. Even though (Y/N) doesn't like Yuri fighting with the possibility of getting injured or possibly even killed, (Y/N) doesn't like fighting up close due to the hostility she experienced in the military (the same applies with guns due to this).

        Yuri learned about (Y/N)'s dislikes towards guns and does his best to get them both out of raids or missions that involve them. He doesn't want to have her forced into a situation that makes her uncomfortable or feel threatened.

        Yuri and (Y/N) have come to the comprise that Yuri cleans and (Y/N) cooks after Yuri complained a lot about (Y/N) doing all the housework. Yuri doesn't like the thought of using (Y/N) like that, even if they live in the 1950's.

        As previously mentioned in this fic, (Y/N) got the Spanish Flu. She got the Spanish Flu by walking into the nursing tent to bring a sick comrade in. While she was in there, she saw someone have a terrible reaction to the vaccine they were given, foaming through their mouth and blood pouring out of their eyes and nose, that started her intense fear of needles (want to know how Yuri helps? Check out this fanfic along with the head cannons in it!)

        Yuri and (Y/N) like watching sci-fi movies and debating whether the events could one day be true or not. These debates get very heated, logical, and serious; some are still ongoing to this day.

        Yuri's ([Y/N]'s really) teddy bear (teddy bear is introduced in the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader series, part 9) is named Graham Cracker because of the fur's color (Yes, [Y/N] named it).

        (Y/N) once had a dream of being an astronaut because she loved the stars so much. Now, she's not exactly sure what she wants to be career-wise, but she wants to be truly happy and have an ordinary life (which means ditching the SSS and WISE).

        Yuri once took (Y/N) out on a roadtrip to go to a space museum out of Ostania. In the middle of the night he stopped the car on a hill and prompted (Y/N) out of the car and pointed up at the stars. Yuri's mind has the image of her stargazing engraved in his mind. (Y/N) had never seen as much stars as she did then and she started crying hysterically because it was the most considerate and romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. Yuri now takes (Y/N) out to see the stars at the same hill at least once a month.

        Sometimes Yuri goes on complete rambles about Yor, specific adventures he had during missions, some biology facts he remembers from school, or even just Ostanian politics and (Y/N) would look at him with the world's brightest eyes and soft smile. Once he notices, his voice becomes softer and he stumbles over his wording a lot. (Y/N) will bring him back to with a soft "go on, love" despite hearing this subject hundreds of times before, and it'll officially explode Yuri's mind and heart.

        (Y/N) got Yuri into Frank Sinatra and Doris Day songs. Yuri's mood could be terrible but if he hears any one of their songs he'll immediately start cheering up because of the memories their songs bring. His favorite is "Fly Me to the Moon" from Frank Sinatra and "It's Magic" from Doris Day. (Y/N)'s favorites are "Blue Moon" from Frank Sinatra and "Dream a Little Dream of Me" from Doris Day.

        (Y/N) absolutely loves Christmas music. She loves decorating the apartment with festive lights and baking holiday foods. Yuri used to be indifferent about the holidays but now he can't wait for the next Christmas because of the first Christmas they spent with each other and the Forger family.

        (Y/N) was given the code name "Vixen" because of how she lured and deceived others. She stuck to using her looks as a form of deception since she had a hard time switching personalities due to her morals and how opinionated she is.

        (Y/N) hates receives gifts because it feels like she's indirectly using someone for money, being too needy, and now has a debt she needs to pay.

        (Y/N) and Yor meet up every weekend after work to talk about work, their family, and get to know each other better since they're in-laws. (Y/N) still finds Yor scary, but now she's determined to protect Yuri because of how kind-hearted and nurturing she is. (Y/N) makes sure to walk Yor home so Yor doesn't get into any danger (unbeknownst to [Y/N], Yor is the true danger).

        (Y/N) meets up with Camila and Yor once a month to teach Yor a new recipe. It's a really good bonding experience and it gives (Y/N) a healthy amount of social interaction without having to try and lie to anyone for ulterior motives. (Y/N) loves being able to call therm her friends since growing up she didn’t have any (that are still alive, that is. Twilight and Franky are like brothers).

Thank you so much for requesting! I love writing for Yuri, especially because of how dry the Yuri train is on Tumblr.

Want more Yuri content? Check out the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! reader series: An Alliance! Or perhaps something short and sweet? Check out another adored request WITH more head cannons!

        Have any other requests? Check my masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist

#x y/n #x reader #x you #x yn #spy x family #yuri #yuri anime #yuri briar #yuri manga #yuri spy x family #yuri x reader #yuri briar x reader #sxf anime #sxf manga spoilers #sxf yuri #sxf manga #sxf spoilers #sxf #spy x family yuri #spy family #spy x family spoilers #spy x family manga #spy x family anime #spy x family manga spoilers #x female y/n #female #x fem!reader #x female reader #fem reader #yn

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen, i just followed you and this is really random but ive seen some of your posts helping younger people and it really struck a cord and i need to just let the words fall out of me.

ive been having issues with my girlfriend she cheated on me but this situation is very complicated and we're both fucked up people but i know she still loves me and i really love her. but my anxiety and our lack of communication is really bad right now and im so worried she might not love me the same anymore

ontop of this im 18 and for the past id say 5ish years my mental health and family life has been getting worse, getting diagnosis is hard especially with mentally ill and just overall bad parents that somehow dont understand or believe. i know im deppresed and have been i have anxiety, sever paranoia maybe bpd and bipolar and autism and everything is just so much. now the one person i had is something thats making everything hurt more and i just don't know where to go, im trying to get help but its so slow in this country and i feel so lost and tired i barely eat now and when i do its ether rare or unhealthy and everything is so much i want to collapse.

i hope this isn't to much to randomly send anonymously but you just seem really kind and helpful. thank u for your reply if you do

HI and please accept my apologies for the delay on answering this. I am sorry you are going through so much. My kids are adopted from foster care and I had many kids in my home for up to 5 years who eventually went back home. That is to say I have a lot of experience with mental illness, the systems that treat them, trauma and kids who came from unstable home lives.

At the ripe old age of 18 you have plenty of time to find love and contentment but right now might not be the time. I understand there might be odd circumstances that caused your girlfriend to cheat on you. If you feel betrayed and lost trust that is a feeling that is next to impossible to overcome for people with no comorbidities let alone a teen trying to figure herself out and deal with navigating the broken mental health/care system.

It is actually quite normal for young love to change and get redefined into friendship even when the circumstance are the best. Her cheating on you might very well be a sign that your relationship is in flux and not what you thought it was. A romance that has run its course is not a failure, relationships do not have to last forever to be important and real and worth having had.

It might be scary to think of not being with her, of not having your "one" person that you can count on but I do believe you can get farther working on yourself if you put time and energy into you and not dividing it up between you and her.

There is a lot of precedent set for women to set aside their romance and intimacy in order to be just friends while one or both does some work on herself. Sometimes it is necessary to stay involved for emotional support or financial support, that is just the reality of our world. Living single can be very difficult.

Please consider letting go of the relationship in its current form and putting your energy of yourself. Letting go of the stress of trying to repair what you had with her will remove so much pressure from you and from her that you will feel much more ready to tackle your mental state.

I promise. You are not a failure, she is not "the bad guy" in this story. Take all the wonderful things you shared with her keep those with you when you want a reminder that it loving her was worth your time even if it didn't end like you planned.

Seek mental health help but starting small. A therapist can help you begin to talk through things and often she can help you find additional resources like a medical Dr, public subsidies for insurance or free clinics to assist you in getting medication and mental health support. Most counties have a social services office and those employees are a wealth of information.

#mental health #lesbian #young love #stress #health #relationships

[cbk1000]

Not to keep belabouring this point, but as we are now in Election Year, this is your friendly reminder that I don't give a fuck what you think about Biden. I don't care how you feel about his administration's response to the Israel-Palestinian conflict. I don't care if you think he's too old, not progressive enough, etc. etc. etc.

The reality is that, unless something major changes, either Trump or Biden will be elected to the presidency in November. Our voting system is deeply flawed and deserving of criticism. But nothing magical is going to happen between now and November. There will absolutely, categorically, be no other viable choice, no third-party candidate, no perfect leftist wet dream that swoops in at the last minute to make you feel tingly in your moral purity. Unless one of them dies between now and then (and even if Biden does, guess what: the Dems aren't going to put up the Ideal Progressive as their candidate), you will get Biden, or you will get Trump. If you think you are Doing Something for the Palestinian cause by helping Trump to get elected--and that is what you are doing if you throw a tantrum and abstain from voting in a race that current polling indicates is going to be sphincter-clenching tight--I have a bridge to sell you very cheap.

However poorly you think Biden is doing, what do you think a second Trump term is going to do, domestically and abroad? Trump has consistently and regularly praised various dictators and authoritarian strongmen around the world. He admires them. He wants to be one of them. That is who we will have if Biden is not elected. You will actively harm not only vulnerable people in the U.S., but those outside this country who will be affected by the policies of Putin's biggest stan.

You need to hold your nose and vote. I am genuinely sorry that is the reality of our broken election system, but it IS the reality, and ignoring that will do far more harm than voting for Biden. Everywhere the Republicans hold power they are pushing anti-abortion legislation, they are banning books, they are trying to prevent teachers from talking about racism, they are denying trans people access to medical care. If you want to see that at the federal level, then go ahead, don't vote. And then shut your fucking whiny mouths about the Progressive Cause, because you don't even care enough about it to make the most basic effort to try and stop the people who are actively harming all those minority groups you only advocate for in online echo chambers where you think you can get a rimjob for being a good little progressive who uses all the right buzzwords.

#politics #trump's voters will show up #make sure you do too

[fandomshatepeopleofcolor]

I met a doctor who explained to me that many "rare" diseases are now more common because before they were extremely underdiagnosed and are still underdiagnosed due to the lack of access to exams, etc. Many people of color receive a late diagnosis or live without ever receiving it. My cousin was lucky enough to receive great medical care while he was working in another country and discovered a brain condition, in USA no doctor was interested in finding out what was happening to him.

yeah that's so shitty. I hope he got good medical care!!! but the american healthcare system is so broken. like obamacare was a great step forward but there's still so much racism and doctors not taking patients seriously.

mod ali

#fhpoc asks #medical racism #discrimination

[stranger-rants]

Every time someone talks about wanting Billy to be punished, I wonder how aware people are of The Troubled Teen industry and how much this idea that Bad Teenagers need to be punished "disciplined" results in the regular dehumanization and death of these young people and how Billy could have easily become a victim of that instead of dying by supernatural causes.

Like, in Runaway Max he's given the choice to either give up his car for a while or go to military school (?) and that right there is an example of The Troubled Teen industry, where traumatized teens are put into an environment where they will fail and be punished and then if they survive it, in the case of military schools they're basically groomed into a role where they could be slaughtered for their country.

I had a student who was traumatized by abuse which was denied by their family. They were just 'a bad kid.' They would harm themselves and draw disturbing things in their notebook. We tried to get CPS involved, but the family moved around a lot and it was hard to get records. That same student was sent away to one of these places and I never saw them again. That haunts me. A lot.

Camps and schools for troubled teens regularly abuse the teens stuck there, and they're stuck there with no ability to communicate with the outside world. They're told what to wear. How to do their hair. They're forced into manual labor. They're beaten. They don't get adequate medical attention if they're sick or injured. There are many teens who have died this way. It's no joke.

I just do not get how people think this approach to dealing with a traumatized teenager is going to fix them. It's almost like you don't want them to be "fixed" - you want them to be broken until there's nothing left. This is why I scoff at anyone talking about how Billy is bad because he "continues the cycle of abuse" because the very same people do so on a systemic level and that's worse.

#text post

[eretzyisrael]

by Phyllis Chesler

Both Butler and Gessen seem to revere Jewish vulnerability, statelessness and martyrdom. Are they also Nazis in drag?

The two conformists see Jewish vulnerability to persecution as far more “ethical” than the Jews’ ability to defend themselves from persecution and genocide. According to Prof. Corinne Blackmer in her brave book Queering Anti-Zionism: Academic Freedom, LGBTQ Intellectuals and Israel/Palestine Campus Activism:

“Butler implicitly argues that Jews were better off suffering rather than perpetrating state-sponsored persecution. … Two possible lessons or conclusions can be drawn from the fact that Jews experienced considerable state-sponsored violence, persecution and discrimination in the galut [exile], culminating not only in the Holocaust but also the forced removal of nearly one million Mizrachi Jews from their ancestral homes in the Middle East before or during the establishment of Israel as a Jewish state in 1948. One, supported by Butler and other BDS advocates, states that precisely because Jews suffered extreme state-sponsored violence, they should endeavor to avoid state-building, although this formulation leaves unanswered precisely under what political system Jews should (peacefully?) reside.”

In her piece in The London Review of Books, Butler does “condemn without qualification the violence committed by Hamas. This was a terrifying and revolting massacre. This was my primary reaction, and it endures.”

However, she then goes on to “contextualize” this statement by trotting out all manner of false allegations against Israel: “We should develop some understanding of why groups like Hamas gained strength in light of the broken promises of Oslo and the ‘state of death, both slow and sudden’ that describes the lived existence of many Palestinians living under occupation, whether the constant surveillance and threat of administrative detention without due process or the intensifying siege that denies Gazans medication, food and water.”

Butler appears to be either ignorant of or deliberately concealing several important facts: Israel left Gaza in 2005. Hamas—an Iranian-funded Islamist terror group—controls, indoctrinates, tortures, torments and impoverishes Gazans. Hamas has taken the lion’s share of the aid meant for Gaza civilians and diverted it into their own bank accounts abroad and into building their terror tunnels and weaponry. No Arab country has been willing to offer Gazans refuge, even temporarily. Egypt has walled off Gaza from the Sinai. Hamas has increasingly forced women to wear veils, marry into polygamous families and risk being honor-killed if they “shame” their families.

#judith butler #masha gessen #jews #gaza #hamas

[mariacallous]

With more than 12,000 killed and 7.3 million people displaced, ongoing warfare in Sudan has steadily broken down the country’s political, social, and medical services. Reports suggest more than 24 million of the country’s 46 million people need assistance; cholera cases had risen to over 8,200 by late December; and between 70 percent and 80 percent of hospitals in affected states have been left nonfunctional.

As violence and displacement counts rise, humanitarian aid efforts haven’t kept up. Instead, initiatives to negotiate between the warring powers—the Sudanese Armed Forces (SAF), led by Gen. Abdel Fattah al-Burhan, and the Rapid Support Forces (RSF), led by Mohamed Hamdan “Hemeti” Dagalo—have been the priority for the international community, neglecting the suffering that ordinary Sudanese citizens have endured for the last nine months. While talks have been on and off for months, vital humanitarian initiatives remain underfunded.

It is easy to assume that with negotiations come a harmonious cease-fire and peaceful postwar society, but global history and Sudan’s history indicate a very different outcome if international actors rely primarily on good-faith negotiations to end the conflict and launch Sudan into a successful postwar society.

To rely on negotiations is to assume that one of the warring factions will win and the other will concede, leaving either Burhan or Hemeti in charge of Sudan’s reconstruction. Given U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken’s recent determination that both the RSF and SAF have committed war crimes—with RSF forces also committing crimes against humanity and acts of ethnic cleansing—inviting these parties to a negotiation table projects a bleak future for Sudan.

The international community has its priorities backward. Instead of prioritizing negotiations between two factions that actively reject any notion of their own wrongdoing and that citizens overwhelmingly reject as unrepresentative, foreign actors must redirect their attention to limiting foreign funding of the conflict, advocating for the inclusion of Sudanese citizen groups, and financing proposed humanitarian plans. Indeed, the central focus of international organizations and outside powers seeking peace in Sudan should be the restoration of civilian life, rather than impractical negotiations that have often failed in the past.

After former Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir was ousted from office in 2019, international powers and nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) eagerly supported a citizen-led democratic transition, vowing to assist in the process. But, as the U.N. Integrated Transition Assistance Mission in Sudan (UNITAMS) was shuttered this last December by the U.N. Security Council, such promises appear empty. Government officials in Khartoum deemed the mission “disappointing” as they demanded its end and blamed the violence on former UNITAMS chief Volker Perthes, forcing the U.N.’s hand to withdraw.

In managing negotiations between the factions that are barring the progress of a civilian government, international mediators continue to walk back these promises. To reassert their commitment to civilian-led initiatives in Sudan, a healthy and safe citizenry is necessary.

The continued failure of Sudan’s health system represents just one of the many failures Sudan’s public systems have suffered amid the ongoing violence. As RSF and SAF forces have made Sudan dangerous to move within, humanitarian access has been greatly limited. This has since resulted in cholera spreading to nine of Sudan’s states—threatening communities plagued by inadequate water treatment and food insecurity at a higher rate. As measles, cholera, and dengue fever spread, it becomes increasingly obvious that if guns and bombs don’t kill Sudanese citizens, the failure of the health system and lack of medical supplies will.

The ongoing conflict’s impact on access to food and resources has also contributed to massive degradation in the nation’s economy. With an inflation rate of 256 percent relative to average consumer prices, citizens across Sudan, whether in conflict-ridden areas or not, are suffering.

Most efforts aimed at assisting vulnerable citizens have been undertaken by Sudanese people themselves. With unreliable access to the internet, Sudanese people globally have used social media to advertise the best routes to escape Sudan, share which shops have food and medicine in stock, and how to send and receive money amid shuttered banks. Sudanese citizens have taken it upon themselves to do the work they’ve expected of international organizations and powers.

Stories that have emerged out of Sudan over the last nine months detail harrowing civilian experiences with ethnic and sexual violence largely perpetrated by the RSF, invoking memories of the war in Darfur, where widespread violence occurred at the hands of the janjaweed, the militia from which the RSF emerged. While that war was declared ended in August 2020 as Sudan’s newly formed transitional government promised Darfur rebel groups a role in Sudan’s democratic transition, those oaths have disappeared amid the current conflict.

The western area of Darfur remains the epicenter of violence toward civilians, as risks of ethnic cleansing, genocide, and sexual abuse mount against primarily non-Arab communities. A lack of organization within RSF ranks and the group’s history have all but authorized heinous attacks against Sudan’s most vulnerable populations, with a limited humanitarian response from parties outside of the country.

When humanitarian aid does manage to reach displaced people, it typically happens in refugee camps in neighboring countries, such as Doctors Without Borders’ work in the Ourang camp in Chad, despite the organization’s ongoing efforts to maintain a presence in Sudan. Fears of looting and violence, a lack of institutional protection, and the continued degradation of networks have made it increasingly difficult to reach afflicted communities in Sudan.

As violence rains down on West Darfur, communities are becoming more vulnerable. While around 42 percent of Sudan’s population suffers from high levels of acute food insecurity, these figures increase dramatically to over 60 percent in West Darfur. As the humanitarian crisis deepens in areas most affected by ethnic and sexual violence over the last 20 years, a lack of urgency in the international response ensures that the situation will get worse.

The most urgent initiative to protect Sudanese citizens is readily waiting, but with only 41.8 percent of the necessary funding acquired, the U.N. Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA) response plan has not been as effective as it could be. The plan aims to provide lifesaving assistance to limit immediate morbidity and mortality rates and keep pending risks at bay through preemptive action.

The limited funding has allowed OCHA to reach only 21 percent of targeted people in need, so increasing pressure on state actors is key to assure humanitarian aid. Of the $2.57 billion needed to fully enact the plan, the United States has provided $549.1 million of the current secured funding, but Saudi Arabia—the other key broker—has contributed only $38 million, and the Intergovernmental Authority on Development has given less than $100,000. As negotiating powers aim to bring the United Arab Emirates into talks regarding its role, its government has given less than $400,000 to the effort. Encouraging allies in the West to assist in the existing plan is similarly crucial, as it offers a more immediate response.

Using existing Sudanese citizen networks of grassroots trauma response and financial and educational empowerment of mental health services across Sudan—specifically in areas like Darfur, Kordofan, and Khartoum—is key to development. Frameworks to assist displaced people are necessary as well, as hundreds of thousands flee to neighboring countries where more danger often awaits them.

Building networks for refugees and asylum-seekers to safely leave the country and resettle with the assistance of foreign governments ensures vulnerable populations gain access to robust medical and social services that are not currently available domestically. All these efforts have begun thanks to Sudanese citizens, but without foreign intervention and commitment, these initiatives will not have a wide impact.

As peace talks continue, the Sudanese public must be represented by the citizen groups that led protests against Bashir and his government—as the loudest voice.

Even as Sudanese citizens internally and globally call for both Hemeti and Burhan to be held accountable by the international community, the former allies who served in the Bashir regime may very well end up sharing power in defiance of the public’s will. Bringing Sudanese citizen groups into the discussion could avoid such an outcome while prioritizing the health and human rights of the population. Until humanitarian efforts take center stage in discussions surrounding Sudan, there will be no winners.

[itsbansheebitch]

How are there not riots in the streets?

Looking back on 2023:

We know our education system is bunk and that NASA was started with help from a literal 1940s Nazi. We know this country was built on genocide, bigotry, and the backs of immigrants & slaves.

We know we're colonizers, we know our first President's teeth were made of a combination of his slaves' teeth and wood. We know the last President ran his campaign off sexual assault jokes.

We know the first time the Confederate flag was ever in the US Capital was on January 6th, 2021. We know approximately 50% of white medical trainees think black people have higher pain tolerance (especially black women).

We know black people are more likely to get bitten by police dogs and are more likely to get death sentences instead of life in prison like their white counterparts committing the same crime. We know you can predict if you'll be a victims of police brutality based on where past lynchings have happened & the amount of money a you make in a year.

We know that America helped cover up Unit 731 and gave the "scientists" immunity. We know that America has been at war for more time than not and we know school shootings are so "old news" that the news doesn't even cover most of them anymore.

We know the United States has an unusually high homeless population and that 40% to 60% of homeless people in the United States have jobs. We know the United States isn't opposed to human experimentation and we know that slavery is illegal unless you're in prison.

We know prisoners are used to fight fires for free, we know some prisons have cotton farms for the prisoners to work on for free. We know 1 in 5 people on death row are innocent and that police are known to fake/plant evidence and to assault witnesses & suspects that don't give them what they want to hear.

We know judges are more likely to give death sentences than life in prison when they're hangry (I'm NOT joking) and police were originally militias paid for by rich people to get their runaway slaves black. We know we are one of the most, if not the most, dangerous "developed" countries in the world.

Why do we perform non consensual surgeries on (intersex) babies right out of the womb without the parents' permission, but we make consensual surgeries (gender affirming care) illegal? Why is gender affirming care (plastic surgery, masculine voice classes) only legal and normal for cis people?

Why do we let people who are one foot in the grave sign our death certificates? Why do we let people who clearly have dementia run one of the globe's superpowers? Why are we letting the oldest bigots in the country decide our future?

So why are there not riots in the streets? When did we become so complacent to our own demise? Why do we deny the ship is sinking when we are up to our knees in water? What is wrong with us? Are we pathetic or broken or wrong in a way that is incomprehensible to us? Why are we pretending everything is normal?

Why are there not riots in the streets?

#lgbt #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #politics #us politics #trans rights #prison abolition #prison abolition for all #prison is slavery #queer #gender affirming care #intersex #intersex rights #intersex awareness #unit 731 #government coverups #nasa #astronomy #tw racism #cw racism #systematic racism #world politics

[mittenwonders]

Since that seems to be the topic if Marijuana should be legalized, I’ll add my two cents!

But trigger warning, it’s gonna piss off 90% of this site. 🤣

Should it be legalized? Absolutely not.

For the record, I also think nicotine should be banned too but one battle at a time right? At least nicotine doesn’t kill the brain and cause people to become incapacitated to drive or make decisions.

It was determined to be a scheduled class 1 narcotic for a reason. The only reason it’s being pushed is for profit now by political leaders, ignoring the entire medical & scientific community. Medical use is far different than recreational use. It’s weird that most democrats are for the legalization too especially since they always push the “trust the science” angle and as a fellow democrat, I’m mad as hell because it makes us all look stupid & sound like a hypocrite. There is a reason other countries will not back off from making sure it’s banned and it’s for their citizens safety.

The argument that it addresses crime and crime rates will go down is absurd. In fact crimes rates have remained the same, just in a different way now. Many of the establishments around Detroit that opened when our state legalized it have been broken into, vandalized or have had fires set. It’s caused more chaos in those areas and many times local neighborhoods don’t want distilleries around due to the smell and the chaos that comes from those crimes.

And the smell is very real along with 2nd hand smoke. Others can still get high around you. I remember I was only 6 years old and we had all our windows open during the summer. Our neighbor was smoking weed. It drifted into our house and I got high as fuck as a 6 yo. I’d like to think most people would try to be good about it around children, but it’s another PSA that will have to be put out. As an asthmatic as well, nicotine smoke greatly affects me no matter what. Even if people come from outside after having a smoke break, it’s still on your clothes and sends me into a flare. There was a reason they tried to ban smoking at places because of second hand. And now we’ll have to fight weed too because everyone has the conception that it’s somehow different. It’s not!!

Now to the health part - smoking whatever is just bad for your lungs. Any kind of smoke. Your body is not meant to inhale it!! End of story. My dad was exposed to 2nd hand smoke growing up and became a heavy weed user (illegally) in his late teens and early 20s. It landed him with extreme scarring of his lungs and permanently on oxygen. Yes weed is still harmful to the lungs!!!

Second, yes there is some beneficial properties but this is solely linked to only the cannabinoids found within the cannabis. THC which is the part that gives you the brain alteration effects is the dangerous part. It does disrupt and kill off neuron pathways and has a higher chance of leading to stroke. Having large amounts of THC in your system over time can cause permanent memory loss, nerve damage and even death. Yeah I said it, death.

This is why science has been studying CBD oil. It still comes from cannabis and brings all the health benefits weed smokers boast about but without all the other stuff that damages your body. CBD is what has been helping the people with seizures, not weed. If the FDA wants to clear CBD use, I’m all fucking for that!!!! 👏🏼 I take it daily myself and even my dog took it. It works!! So I’m not saying there isn’t some truth to weed.

Now medically, if someone has terminal cancer or something absolutely painful & their doctor and them have discussed medical marijuana would be a better option than whatever the alternative - by all means, that is between the patient and their doctor to choose that route. Note that medical marijuana only provides so many grams a month. It’s CONTROLLED. Just like opioids and everything else. If someone really needs it, they’re not gonna go selling it or sharing it.

It’s the recreational users I’m not on board with. Some growers experiment adding different things and you don’t know what you’re getting. At the border we catch a lot of weed (and cocaine) laced with fentanyl. It’s not controlled and therefore more dangerous legal or not. Also many still choose to smoke and drive. Again, it alters the brain like alcohol. Idk but I want my loved ones and I to not be on the road with more asshats who decided to do a 2am Taco Bell run cause they had the munchies.

Which brings me to the final argument people try to convince me with and that’s “well alcohol is a thing and that’s not illegal.” True. And again it’s big business and brings money to the economy. Only reason they want weed legal - money. I’m not even for alcohol either so don’t try to start. I’m sober now after a brush in with alcoholism. Trust me, life is more fun on the other side once you’re completely sober and you realize alcohol is actually a pretty disgusting business. Alcohol and weed is an addiction, I’m sorry but it is. And yes, I’ll be the 80 year old grandma that says weed is a gateway drug. It creates the high feeling and then people want more and more and are willing to try other substances to recreate that high - especially if they do have an addictive personality. Some people don’t and won’t go beyond it but addiction is a very real trait some people are genetically predisposed to.

I don’t agree that having weed should be a large incarceration either. It’s a misdemeanor at best, not a fricken murder. But no I don’t believe it should be legal outside medical use.

I’m usually for do whatever you want to your body as long as you know the risks and don’t cry about it later, but this one is only being pushed because of lobbying and money. It is. Doctors are already tired of telling nicotine smokers smoking is bad as they place the 2nd stent in their heart and now they have to fight another battle as that field is fighting staffing shortages across the nation. They don’t need more patients making dumbass decisions for “fun.” I don’t know why it’s suddenly being brought up again when all the medical facts are out there. I feel like people got confused with the CBD studies and ran with it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Also personally to me, it just smells like rotten shit. Idk how people do it. It’s super gross and disgusting.