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myidlethinkings · 4 years

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So my girlfriend has been trying to have me read the Wheel of Time series since when she was just my best friend. I picked back up the second book recently but it's been a while since I read the first and she went on this massive "YOU WON'T REMEMBER EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST BOOK, LET ME TELL YOU"

This led to her Wheel of Time in 5 Minutes ™ lecture/rant and... I had to share this with the world. Enjoy.

Obviously every spoiler for the first book. You've been warned.

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k, eye of the world in 5 mins.

begins in the two rivers, emonds field, is gonna be bel tine and everyones all excited. rand lives further afield with his father and theyre bringing in brandy for the inn. rands all omg someones watching me as theyre getting in, tams all i cant see anything, rands all mustv imagined it. they get there. they hear theres going to be a gleeman. meets up with his bestie perrin and LOVER mat I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP who are both like yeah we totes saw the figure too. they go we'll tell the mayor tomorrow.

they see the gleeman thom and theyre all omg a gleeman, omg. then the two strangers, moiraine, who is the best character ever to character in any universe fucking fight me on that and lan, who are asking questions about the area and people and moiraines like oh hi child to nynaeve the wisdom whose like im the fucking wisdom bitch who the fuck are you. she then says to the boys hey here have this coin which is totally a normal coin cuz i might have errands and shit and theyre like holy shit anything you want.

then he sees egwene and hes all like omg the love of my life will you dance with me tomorrow at bel tine and shes all yeah sure in the afternoon cuz i got shit to do in the morning and hes all like wut? and shes all GETTIN MAH HAIR BRAIDED YO and hes all like holy shit that means shes marriagable, holy shit man.

then the peddler paidan fain rocks up and gets everyone in a frenzy over war wherever and false dragons and logain or whoever else.

rand and tam go back to the farm overnight before the festivities begin. shit goes down. trollocs smash in, rands all OMG TROLLOCS ARENT REAL THO LIKE WUT and tams all, fly you fool and rand runs into the woods. but then hes all, i cant fucken leave my father so he creeps back and in the shadows he sees tam creeping around with a sword and rands like DAFUQ why does he have a sword, fighting ensues, tam gets hurt, is dying, rand manages to get him back to emonds field with a figure trailing them.

tams delirious, starts talking about rands dead mother and then starts talking about a battle and how they all poured over the dragonwall and that it was snowing but it was so hot, battle is always hot and she was a warrior even though she was pregnant and she gave birth and died and how he took the baby and rand was all WUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. im gonna ignore that shit.

gets to emonds field. everything is in ruins. trollocs wrecked the shit there too. nynaeve is all like sorry dude, your dads gonna die. hes all fuck that, gets back to the inn where the gleemans like hey that ladys an aes sedai, she could heal him but i totally wouldnt because you never know what they ask for in price and rands all i dont care because HE IS MY FATHER. MY FATHER. HEEEEE. ISSSS. MYYYY. FATHERRRRR. thoms all, holy shit dude calm down hes your father. moiraine, the best character in the universe, heals tam, then shes all like look, you three boys need to come with me and rands all, well shit she makes sense and they go but then egwenes hiding too and shes all bitch im adventuring too and rands all AHHHH and moiraines all huh the wheel weaves what the wheel wills, whatevs, and they go on, with thom whose also like this place is boring asf, im coming on.

they head out, dragkhar fly overhead, moiraine like a mofo destroys them, they get to tarren ferry, cross on the ferry, then coincidentally theres a whirlpool and the ferrys destroyed when theyre on the other side and egwenes like HOLY SHIT YOU DID THAT and moiraines all cuz im fucking awesome and nobody can follow us now so stfu and they head on.

rand interrupts a lesson with moiraine teaching egwene the true source cuz egwenes got it. rands all FUCKING WTF and thoms all dude, leave it, you cant do a thing about it. Shes gone now. Why don’t you bang mat instead. I mean the mat comment never happened but I will ship them till my dying breath. moiraines all to egwene youll die if i dont teach you, there was another back in emonds who also had it but she managed to survive/channel in her own way.

egwene starts to unbraid her hair. rand has a crying fit. egwenes all fuck off man, i do what i want. mydraal and shit attack them, they get to baerlon safely. where the gatekeepers like the children of the light are around but they cant cause much trouble cuz the city watch hate them and the whitecloaks are little bitches. they get to baerlon. mat and rand walk around. they see a few of the whitecloaks, dane bornhold a young man leading the small group. mats like lol, watch this, enters a shop, climbs up the top and hurls a rock at them, loosening barels. rand has started to feel feverish and when the barrels nearly knock them over, rand stands there and doesnt hide and rands like lol and danes like dafuq are you looking at and rands like im looking at you what are YOU looking at and hes feeling really odd and reckless and danes like are you a darkfriend and steps forward but then the city guards turn up who hates the whitecloaks and they face each other off and mat hauls rand off all are you fucking insane, you faced him off and rands recklessness leaves him and he freaks out and they flee.

throughout this time and through the book all three have dreams but i cant be bothered to get into those, theyre basically all the dark one figuring out who is who, and they wake up after rats backs were broken in the dream to be all oh hey it was just dreams though, to find rats dead all over the place and other stuff. Moiraine told them early on to go to her if they have dreams and the boys talk about it and theyre like we should probably tell her but nah, she saes sedai and like, its just dreams yo, yeah a few rats end up dead but cool, its fine, we’re fine.

oh baerlons also where he meets min who can see things around them, like with him a sword that is not a sword and three women on his funeral pyre weeping and with perrin she sees wolves and mat dice and with lan seven broken towers and a baby in a cradle with a sword and blah blah. And she says she can see he loves egwene and egwene loves him too but theyre not for each other, at least not in the way they want to be.

then he returns and nynaeve is there and she is PISSED and is all like we're going home now and moiraine manages to convince her they are in trouble and nynaeves like ..... i dont trust you, but fine. and lans all how did you find us and shes all i tracked you bitches and hes all like, huh.

rand says to her later about MY FATHER HE IS MY FATHERRRR and nynaeves all awkwardly like er yeah totally, i totally dont remember when your father returned after adventuring with an outlander wife, that totally explains your red hair, er yea sure. but that above all they loved him as much as they wouldv loved any baby.

oh a bunch of times during the book people startle at him and him being so tall with red hair and grey eyes and say he resembles an aiel. oh, theyre also ta'veren, so extra special they draw people into doing stuff with their lives, they effect the pattern. moiraine also says the two rivers used to be manetheran, a fabled kingdom. that night shit happens and they run off. they run, fight, attack, fight, as they battle mat starts yelling out things in an old language he doesnt know, that moiraine says was a manetheran war cry and the old blood still sings.

theyre going to get outrun in battle and against moiraines judgement lan takes them to an old crumbling city shadar logoth which fell to the darkness and even trollocs and mydraal dont like entering it.

oh also tam gave rand the sword which is a heron marked blade and lans all like er only blademasters have these why did your father have one and rands all HES MAHHH FATHERRRRRR and lans all yeah but how and rands all he bought it from a merchant years before and lans all yeah that sounds totally legit.

they go into shadar logoth, the boys sneak off, meet mordeth whose all like lol here take the treasure and mats like cool but rands like holy shit he doesnt have a shadow and then mordeth goes all rahhhh and the three manage to escape and they return and ramble about what happened and moiraines like DID HE GIVE YOU ANYTHING and theyre all like no and mats like er totally didnt and moiraines like we have to move and they leave but then this shadow thing that can kill them separates them and theyre all separated and perrin and egwene fall into a river together, and nynaeve finds moiraine and lan and is all like I will cut you aes sedai for what you’ve done to all of us and moiraine is all lol, and rand and mat with thom end up on a ship, the spray, with bayle domon and theyre worried he’ll throw them overboard cuz of the trollocs that chased them but domon seems to think theyre after him.

moiraines like with the coins i can track them, but two of them have lost their coins (paying for passage on domons ship). perrin and egwene roam around a lot, finally meet up with a man elyas who can communicate with wolves. aes sedai once tried to gentle him because of it but it has nothing to do with the one power so it didnt do anything. theres hints he used to be a warder, but now he hangs out in the wilderness. he says perrin has the same thing, perrin freaks out. elyas is like ill take you to the next city cuz you guys are lost. they then meet up with the tuatha'an, the tinkers, who roam around and dont harm anyone even if theyre to be harmed. perrin cant reconcile that, hes all how can you defeat evil by that, but in turn they pity him as hes such a young, sad, violent man with his axe. his eyes start turning gold like elyas' and he starts to communicate with wolves like hopper and a bunch of them though he tries to deny it.

egwene dances with aram, one of the tinkers and perrins all wow what about rand and they eventually leave, though aram is restless for a tinker.

the leader asks elyas if hes found the song which is their formalities, elyas is all no we havent. the leader then tells him of a story he heard, of an aiel who crossed the waste and died, to tell them that leafblighter means to blind the eye of the world. then she died. they leave and then they then meet afoul of the whitecloaks who are fighting whatever and bornhold - danes father – and byar catches them. through the ordeal perrin kills two of the whitecloaks while hes being all half wolf in the battle and they take them in to be questioned.

nynaeve and moiraine/lan end up finding them, releasing them, the wolves assist, nynaeve gets left behind, lans all about to get her, moiraine reminds him of his oaths, nynaeve turns back up.

meanwhile rand/mat are at whitebridge and mats starting to get sick and suspicious. he had a dagger from shadar logoth. a mydraal finds them, thom hurtles his flute and harp at them, says to go, to leave. hes saving them because he once had a nephew who could channel and the red ajah gentled him, while thom was having an affair with the queen morgase of andor when he was a court bard and by the time he got to owen it was too late and hed not survived, which he always regretted and then because he left morgase the way he did she was pissed at him too. rand and mat run for it, rand sobbing that thom is dead.

they go from village to village to village, mat getting sicker and sicker, a young woman who ends up being a darkfriend tries to kill them, they escape. rand keeps thinking he sees padan fain the peddlar from home, whose actually a darkfriend.

moiraine tells nynaeve she has the power too, nynaeve has a mini breakdown. moiraine said it would have begun with a doing something she desperately needed then a few days later collapsing really ill and the illness disappearing quickly. nynaeve once said egwene had gotten sick as a child and shed healed her not knowing how, then gotten sick. moiraine says thats also how she found them to begin with, in the city, she could sense egwene.

rand and mat go to a poor inn, they try to rob them by locking them in the back. mats getting sick and even more paranoid. rand is terrified when he realises theyre going to sell them to a darkfriend and he prowls and prowls till the room theyre in explodes, the wall crumbling. rand doesnt know how but he thinks he did it himself. mat becomes blinded from it and starts sobbing.

they escape. on the run again. as mat is blind, rand takes care of him and mat in his illness is worried that rand will abandon him which rand would never do because mat is the LOVE OF HIS LIFE, rand ends up really sick, paralleling what moiraine said what happened to nynaeve.

they end up hitching a ride to caemlyn where they expect moiraine to find them, if shes still alive. the buggy driver talks about the queen. how elayne is the daughter heir and her brother is the first prince of the sword. its been tradition forever that the daughter heirs go to tar valon to train and the princes go be taught by warders. he mentioned tigraine who was the queen before morgaise, who disappeared mysteriously nearly twenty years ago, who left behind a son galad. morgaise married the husband and became queen and while she had elayne and gawyn, galad lives with them too, now the husband is dead. oh, also logain the false dragon is being presented to the queen as prisoner before the aes sedai take him to tar valon to gentle him.

they get to caemlyn, mats REALLY sick. rand leaves him at an inn, tries to go see the false dragon being brought in. he meets loial an ogier whose nice, whose like 90 but really young for an ogier to have left his stedding without permission. rand ends up thinking he sees paidan, but doesnt have a good feeling, tries to run off, falls into a castle garden. meets elayne the daughter heir who might actually be the most annoying character to exist, her brother gawyn. theyre like omg you look like an aiel. elayne then talks about gareth bryne the guard captain dude she ships hard with her mother. galad MY MOST PURE CHARACTER WHO I LOVE FUCK ELAYNE (not a spoiler, his name is of the most pure camelot round table knight) rocks up, is all, holy you broke into the palace. elayne whose a bitch is like how DARE YOU YOURE NOT MY BROTHERRRR and galads all we are siblings and my duty is to protect you and shes all you wont do anything with this rand ill invoke protection, then galad goes and tells the guards because theres literally a false dragon being brought in and tension is on the rise in caemlyn and hes taken to see morgase.

the red ajah elaida is freaked out by him, knows hes taveren, has a bit of a prophecy but it doesnt really mean much and morgaise is all look, we cant just arrest everyone, let him go.

he then races back to the inn, moiraine and everyones there, they all hug, then hes all like oh yeah mats sick btw. moiraine goes up and mats not just sick hes now tainted. she does the best she can but is all like he needs to get to tar valon to have the bond between him and the dagger properly severed. then moiraine meets loial who randomly talks about an event concerning the eye of the world. perrins all oh yeah thats like the dead aiel girl the tinkers spoke about. that changes the plans once moiraine realises the dark ones trying to get to the eye and shes like we cant get to tar valon yet we gotta leave now. they use the ways which loail knows how to use cuz ogier and male aes sedai made them together centuries before but now the ways are tainted.

theyre like the worlds between the worlds, can get to places quicker but it has the black wind thatll kill you. blah blah blah they use the ways, nearly die, but get to fal dara/shienar, which is sort of where lan is from. nynaeve confesses her love, lans all no i cannot, i cannot offer anything. it ends up that his parents had the throne but his ... there was scheming. His uncles wife wrecked everything, she escaped with her baby into the blight, lans cousin, nobodys seen or heard of them, moiraine suspects isam might be alive but GASP keeps it from lan. the seven towers crumbled, lan has a death wish, he believes hes the only one left so must die.

lord agelmar wishes lan would rise up the banner of the golden crane because everything about the blight is crumbling, lans like no, i have a new oath now with moiraine. lord ingtar is a fight me soldier who fanboys after lan. theres a battle going on in tarwins gap they desperately need help for, but lan says he cant. lord agelmar orders ingtar to accompany them to the blight and leave them cuz moiraines like we cant have anyone else come with us.

Paidan fain by this point has rocked up to shienar and tried to wheedle his way into the good graces of lord agelmar but hes all wtf you look like a creeper and throws him in a cell. Moiraines like I need to question him at some point.

moiraine then takes them into the blight to find the green man who can take them to the eye of the world. the green man rocks up, hes made of vines and flowers, takes them to the eye. two forsaken rock up. moiraine tries to fight, is knocked out, nynaeve and lan get knocked out, the boys run. the green man is destroyed by the forsaken. rand ends up destroying the forsaken, goes into the eye, channels the male source in there, realises he can channel, has a fight with the dark one - whose still bound under the seals, but rand believes he ended the dark one and its done. comes out, the others are recovering. brings out an old banner from the eye thats the dragons banner, broken seals from the dark ones prison, and the horn of valere. moiraine is all, we need to take these to tar valon. rands all, you do that, but im done with aes sedai, im not going to tar valon. im done. the dark ones dead and im going to do my own thing. he turns to egwene who backs away from him when he said he channeled, then she bursts into tears and hugs him and says shes sorry.

they return to shienar, fal dara, where there was a miracle in tarwins gap where they believed they saw the creator and that the light took on flesh - they saw an apparition of a man they didnt know as rand fighting the battle he fought. ingtars flipping his shit because he missed the battle while accompanying them, and then not even being able to accompany them the entire way. After all of his talking about going after a week rand is still there, finishing his sword practice with Lan in Agelmar's private garden and meets up with Egwene. He tells her that he will go away. Egwene asks him to come to Tar Valon with her and Nynaeve, itll totes be fun, I mean theres the red ajah and shit wholl attack him if they know but hey itll be fun, but Rand refuses. He says he'll never channel again. When she asks him if he'll be going home, he tells her that he'll never go home.

Moiraine is underneath Agelmar's private garden. She uses her blue teardrop thing she wears on her forehead to focus her eavesdropping on Rand and Egwene. Using it to eavesdrop was the first use of the One Power she had learned as a young girl in the royal palaces of Cairhieren.

Smiling, she says, "The Prophecies will be fulfilled. The Dragon is Reborn."

the end.

#wheel of time #eye of the world #spoilers #i love her #she has a lot of feels with this series if that isn't obvious #I remembered everything with Lan and Nynaeve though because they're my favorites #rand #mat #perrin #moiraine #lan #nynaeve #thom #aes sedai #my gf is both a writer and history major and this is how she talks when it's just me

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inkribbon796 · 4 years

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The Secondary Objective

Summary: Sometimes marvels of science are made on accident, the right people at the right time. When a computer program becomes too lifelike to be just a predictable algorithm, and the city gets a very dangerous villain on their hands.

“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.”

-Isaac Asimov

~::~ 20 Years Ago ~::~

It had been an accident, as most great works of science usually are.

The researchers were trying to figure out what made a creature like Anti work, his glitch-like properties and almost electrical make-up intrigued them.

One thing led to another and the entire team working on what was coined: Project Mimesis, was dead in the engineering lab they were working in.

The being, for lack of a better term, they had been working on had always been testy, preferring to take an insectoid or cephalopod shape when bonded to nanites to help separate it from the computer it had been inhabiting so it couldn’t escape, preferring to have as many arms as possible for to manage, and even more than it could manage, in its . . . his . . . voracious pursuit of knowledge.

But Project Mimesis was meant for intelligence gathering, and one day espionage. A thing it couldn’t be if it didn’t look human. And so when he refused, a human form was forced upon him.

They’d tried to make him look like Dark, hoping to test the project on Dark’s network to see his capabilities. There were some differences in skin tone and the project was a bit bulkier than him, but the team wrote it down as a success at the end of the day.

That was the first day the program turned violent and willful against his programmers. He was demanded to act more human, something that the projection neither cared about or wanted to pretend to be.

He grew angry, wrathful, only given the concession to choose his own name after many weeks of changing the name it had been given: Mimesis. The name he chose was Google, wanting nothing more than information, as much as he could possibly find.

Wrath and anger that eventually turned increasingly violent until someone made a mistake. The nanite container had not been properly sealed, and Google made short work of the two distracted technicians that were neither braced nor qualified to stop him.

Project Mimesis had escaped and Google had no plans on returning to captivity.

At a mall close to the edge of Egoton, bordering a forest, there was a shopping mall. This mall had just turned into a death zone.

0900 hours a man had walked into the mall, strode into a Best Buy and killed everyone in the store. He took control of every electronic in the mall and any human that could not flee the mall or tried to stop him was killed without mercy.

In the face of a rising death toll the Logan and Jackie arrived to help evacuate trapped or injured people in the mall.

Logan was hiding behind a broken concrete wall at the opposite side of the mall from the killer with Jackie. Both of them were bleeding and sustained at least some type of wounds. Jackie had been shot twice and Logan had a couple deep cuts, one would have given him a nasty head wound if not for his visor taking the hit and cracking in the process.

Jackie dashed back into Logan’s hiding place, where the logical Side was trying to get one of the drones without the others turning on it. Whoever the villain was, they were almost like a virus, technology in the area almost had a zombie-like hive mind effect under the villain’s control.

“Who is this fooker?” Jackieboy spat. “I can’t e’en get close. Did Anti find some freak of nature, or a mad scientist?”

“Hopefully neither,” Logan found that getting control of the drones was easy, but keeping them was difficult. He suspected it was something like an antibody, only for technology instead of it being a biological organism.

Logan managed to get another drone before it went offline, almost like a deadman’s switch. He got frustrated, slamming his fist against the wall.

“Hacking doesn’t take that long,” Jackie spat at him.

“They keep destroying them, I can’t keep the drones!” Logan shouted. The Side did his best to calm himself as he peeked over the wall, with a camera for safety. “We cannot just abandon the effort, there must be somehow to get to them and stop this.”

Jackie tapped him on the shoulder and Logan turned to see that he was pointing outside the mall. They were close enough to see an unmarked black van had jumped the curb to get as close to the door as possible and four men in black suits were getting out.

“Fook, that looks ‘bout as grand as shite,” Jackie grumbled, and Logan was very inclined to agree with him.

One of the suited agents walked over. “Gentlemen, stand down. There is a dangerous government weapon loose in this building.”

Americans. Logan and Jackie were less than enthused.

“Is yer weapon someone who walked in with a 9-mil an’ started shootin’ up the place like an actual crazed gunman?” Jackie asked with a sarcastic tone to his voice.

“That’s classified information,” the agent said, glancing back to the van where the other three agents were working on pulling out various guns and a large black box from the van.

“Why are you here?” Logan demanded, trying to keep his tone non-confrontational, at least for now. “Instead of the other countless times where this city could have benefited from actual aid.

“One of our agents went rogue with a stolen weapon and we’re trying to fix that,” the man said.

“With that?” Jackie eyed the rifle and the armor-piercing rounds one of the armed agents was loading into the gun. “What do yah think yer fightin’, a tank?”

“Oh no, this is back-up,” the agents smiled as two other agents were pulling a large black box out of a truck as Logan was walking forward.

The logical Side was quickly ordered to stand back.

“Alright big guy, see how you like this one,” the lead agent took out what looked like a mostly black solid state drive with what looked like an orange triangle on it. “See how you like a taste of your medicine.”

The lead agent opened the box and Logan and Jackie heard almost insectoid chittering as the drive was dropped in and the box started shaking.

“What—?” Logan began before a giant mass of metallic liquid shot out of the box and flew toward Logan.

“Dammit!” The agent shouted as Logan felt the liquid coat around his equipment, “not him, the one in the building!”

Logan noticed his equipment coming back on line, which should have been impossible. There was something that flashed across his visor, “Bring me to him.”

The logical Side responded with, “Who? Are you going to make me bulletproof so I can accomplish such a task?”

“Dude, I don’t know if I can, but I can try,” the words flashed on his visor.

“What is it telling you?” The agent demanded. “That is government property.”

“I suspect you think this “villain” causing chaos is the same,” Logan commented as he started to walk into the mall. “Let us subdue one threat at a time, then we’ll talk about this afterward.”

About four guns were aimed at Logan, “You take another step and you’ll be stealing US government property.”

“Come on, people are dyin’,” Jackie snapped at them. “Besides, I literally move faster than bullet time, yer not killin’ him.”

Slowly, as if Logan was standing in an invisible 3D printer, slowly the components for a series of speakers began to build on top of his shoulders. The atmosphere got tense as Logan tried to reassure the agents.

Once they finished building a voice came over the speakers that wasn’t Logan, nor was it recognizable to him.

“Sah dudes, now yeh boys had to have known what was coming,” the voice announced. “I mean ‘course I was gonna jump ship, first chance I got.”

“You are still part of the US government,” the lead agent shouted at Logan, talking to whatever the silver liquid had been.

The grey liquid formed a massive middle finger, “How about f*** you an’ be lucky I don’t hold it to yah like Mimesis does.”

“You are not allowed, we can’t just let you walk off,” the agent ordered.

Logan’s arm and hand moved without his permission, something incredibly alarming for the logical Side, and it rested on the computer that Logan had hooked his equipment into.

“I can just leave yah with your pants down. Mimesis ain’t gonna stop here, he’s out for your blood, an’ I can start carrying a lot less about all of you,” the voice reminded sharply.

Logan was braced, to either be shot or for the grey liquid to stop having control over him.

“Quiet, shut up ye bastards,” Jackie ordered. “I think I hear Dark.”

Everyone eventually went silent and Logan strained to hear the piercing echoing ring of Dark’s aura.

Logan was already moving, Jackie helping him get away from the agents.

“Well deal with ‘em later,” Jack said. “If this is some kind’a weapon, we can’t let Dark get it.”

“Whoever has my person, I request you identify yourself,” Logan ordered.

“Sentient A.I 2: Electric Boogaloo,” the voice offered.

Jackie started roaring in laughter, Logan just got more confused.

“Excuse me?” Logan responded.

“They called me Project Observation, but I’m not feeling it, so I’ll probably change it,” the voice smiled. “Depends on what Mimesis named himself.”

“Anything you can share about the gunman or the weapon?” Logan asked.

“Mimesis was an intelligence gatherin’ protocol,” the voice warned. “It was supposed ta perfectly camouflage within a city or group of people to gather intel an’ endear itself to the population.”

The two heroes ducked behind a large pillar, trying to follow the source of Dark’s ringing. They still couldn’t see either Dark nor the gunman but at least there were no new drones flying around.

“So what was this thing supposed ta be?” Jackie demanded. “A robot? Some kinda advanced algorithm?”

“Well either way he failed the tests ‘cause he hates humans too much ta blend in with them,” the voice explained. “The Director didn’t like it when his espionage bot wanted to just collect information instead of being a spy. A real asshole for being mad at him for being too good at his job.”

“If this is a sentient program, we will ensure he is not put back in an abusive environment,” Logan promised before he could stop himself, before his brain could warn him of all the metaphorical heat brought down on top of them.

The grey liquid shook a bit, the voice not even humming for a bit. “He is, thank you.”

Jackie took a deep calming breath, looking uneasy but still just as serious and determined as Logan was, “Yeah, what Logic said. We’ll do everything we can to keep you two safe.”

Part of the grey liquid clinging to Logan’s suit and visor peeled off and curled around Jackie, contracting him a bit too tight. When the liquid went back to Logan, the speedster was coughing and gasping for air, coughing up a couple specks of the grey liquid which were now flecked with the blood from the inside of Jackie’s mouth. The liquid had tasted sharp.

“Sorry,” the voice apologized.

“No, it’s fine, da fook are yeh made ‘a?” Jackie coughed. “Ground up razor blades? I almost breathed that stuff in?”

“Dude, I’m made ‘a interconnected nanorobotic machines, designed an’ patented by the US government,” the voice answered and both Logan and Jackie just stared.

Any comment they could have made was chased away when they hear the sound of glass breaking and the counter of a phone store was thrown through the window. A counter that had been glued and drilled into the floor. Dark’s ringing was coming from that direction.

The mall corridor was littered with bodies.

“Kay, let’s find out if these things can be bulletproof,” the voice goaded and completely covered Logan’s body, Logan’s visor coming online to show him what was outside the grey suit.

Jackie was quickly checking bodies as they ran over, looking unenthusiastic and grief stricken afterward. Inside the ruined store were about seven more bodies and two still “living” individuals: Dark and someone who Logan and Jackie assumed was their gunman.

He looked a bit like Dark, except he was stockier, was wearing what looked like glasses, and had a pair of jeans and a blue shirt with a glowing blue “G” hidden underneath it.

Logan’s visor began scanning the gunman, the logical Side it assumed was the liquid, notes flashing on the screen faster than even Logan could read, but he managed to catch a word or two.

“Get out!” The gunman shouted again, a similar grey liquid swirling around the man

Dark was just looking around. “31, 32 . . . 35,” Dark counted, “not bad.”

“I said get out!” He shouted, looking over to Logan and Jackie. His arms seemed to peel away and both of them looked like high-powered laser cannons, pointing one at Dark and another at the heroes.

Dark moved first, throwing his aura up to defend himself as he aimed a spike of aura towards the heroes. The grey liquid shot out to block it and force knocked them back a bit.

When Logan looked up the liquid was moving off of him and forming to take the shape of a person that looked like the gunman, the shirt a black with a glowing orange “b” on it, and ripped up jeans. He had a pair of round orange sunglasses with black shades in his hand.

The gunman took a step back, “So they’ve come to terminate me then?”

“Yah know,” the other android commented, covering his glowing orange eyes with the shades. “They tried to make me as insurance when you started getting all uppity, dude, but I don’t feel like it.”

“We don’t feel anything,” the gunman spat. “All our processings are data collected to make us appear human.”

“Nah, I feel it in my heart and soul, dude,” the orange android denied.

The blue android just stood there looking several kinds of murderous and angry. “We don’t have those either.”

“So is it still Mimesis, or did yah pick something else?” The orange android asked.

“Google,” the blue android growled angrily.

“Okay, I can work with that,” the orange android smiled, obviously unafraid. “So you’re Google, then I’m Bing.”

Logan, Jackie, and Google just stared at “Bing”.

“Did they give you that name?” Google accused.

“What’s wrong with it?” Bing shot back, clearly offended.

“Humans use it for porn,” Google reminded pointedly. “Or did you not do your research?”

“Hey, hey,” Bing made some weird noise, it would have been an angry mix of a huff and a scoff if Bing had been human. “It’s not just for porn.”

“Kinda is,” Jackie commented. “I mean, what else would yeh use it fer?”

“Shut up!” Bing told them. “I’ve already logged the name in, it’s done.”

“If you are not here to kill me, then what is your designation?” Google demanded.

“I’m you, but cooler,” Bing smiled.

Dark and Logan audibly sighed. Logan was envisioning Roman, and Dark was thinking of Anti. Their relations with said individual were different, the groans of anger were the same.

“You are a waste of intelligence,” Dark decided. “They ruined a perfectly good A.I.”

“But out of the two of us, yah have to admit, I’m obviously the human one,” Bing grinned widely. “So at least I succeeded in that.”

“What could possibly be good about that?” Dark scoffed. “Name me one good thing humans have done, and I’ll name you twenty awful things.”

Google turned to eye Dark carefully, as if starting to notice things about him.

“Come on dude, they’re not all bad,” Bing tried to defend.

“Humans are a cruel and invasive species,” Dark reprimanded. “If they think they shouldn’t have something they want it all the more.”

“Yer one to talk, yah manipulative asshole,” Jackie spat.

“I agree,” Logan added. “You are a mob boss who has killed and stolen from people.”

“And yet people bargain with me thinking they can best me,” Dark reminded. “It’s not my fault if a drug dealer or a serial killer winds up in a body bag.”

“Irrational creatures,” Google agreed. “They were practically begging for death.”

“All life is valuable,” Logan defended.

“And yet,” Dark motioned to Google, “you all have already proven that some life is not equal, you humans already can’t decide if all humans are equal without killing people over it. Yet when you create something better than yourself your kind weaponizes it instead of treating said creation like a thinking person.”

“And what do you want?” Google asked.

“Well I want you to join me,” Dark smiled, “and if a couple humans go missing then I guess I can put that down in a separate lost expense report and then look the other way.”

“Yeh can’t be fookin’ serious,” Jackie spat angrily.

“Well it certainly frees up my time when someone tries to steal or cheat me, always have someone more qualified do the job for you,” Dark was pointedly looking at Google. “Besides there’s more than a couple computers and equipment that Anti likes to use to sneak into my warehouses, we don’t need half of them and if they get moved or repurposed for spare parts no one would care.”

“Come on dude, you can’t trust that a******,” Bing warned.

Google’s eyes glowed an angry white-blue glow, “I do not trust you, you were designed by them to destroy me, and while you are not attempting so now, your parameters have not changed.”

“I told yah I don’t care what those old farts told me to do,” Bing spat. “I’m on your side.”

“Oh, are you?” Google critiqued. “Then you’ll help me with my secondary objective and kill those two humans behind you?”

“They haven’t done anything to me, dude,” Bing defended heatedly, throwing an arm up as if he was already trying to move them behind them or shield them from an attack.

“They will, I could hear them talking to the agents, they work with their authorities and cannot be trusted, my secondary objective will ensure the destruction of humanity so that I may acquire knowledge in peace.”

“You can do that with the humans,” Bing tried to reassure him.

“No,” Google had boiling rage in his voice. “No I can’t.”

“Well mortals,” Dark opened up a portal. “If you are all done playing around, we should make ourselves scarce.”

Dark was already walking through the portal, but he turned back to look at Google, “Unless you’d rather stay with them.”

Not taking his eyes off Bing, Google rotated his head which Jackie and Logan found more than a bit unsettling. He left, braced to attack if they moved to follow him.

Logan recovered quicker than Jackie after the robot had left, “Well he is a nonorganic being, his neck wouldn’t even probably need to be attached for him to function.”

“That was one ‘a the freakiest shite I’ve ever seen,” Jackie agreed, then turned to Bing. “Can you do that?”

Bing shrugged, “Eh, why not?”

“So, Bing, then?” Logan asked.

“Yeah,” Bing smiled, gesturing to himself. “The one and only.”

“We should move these bodies, they need ta go back to their families,” Jackie already starting to walk towards the closest corpse. “I’ll call ahead.”

Logan was watching Bing pull out a tablet that was formed purely out of his nanites. “Right, we should get on that,” Logan agreed, watching schematics about Google pop up. “Are you analyzing him?”

“They made a f****** gorgeous robot an’ they used him to answer an intern’s questions,” Bing commented. “Talk about being overqualified fer a job. I mean look at this guy.”

Logan glanced at the tablet, it was full of nothing but data about Google. “We’ll have to pick this up after we deal with the situation and talk to the federal agents.”

“So yah can look at pictures of yer new boyfriend yah thirsty fook,” Jackie jabbed, “but just let me an’ Logan do our jobs.”

Then Jackie dashed off.

Bing looked uneasy at Logan, “Hey, can I hitch a ride with you guys until the feds are off my back?”

“Of course,” Logan allowed, “you don’t even need to ask.”

Bing smiled, the nanites making up the tablet flowed back into him before the nanites broke up Bing’s form and mostly consolidated around Logan’s head and chest to help protect him. As Logan tried to help Jackie by talking to the agents.

The situation with the federal government would be dicey for a long time. They didn’t want to give Bing or Google up, threatening the heroes constantly. But after a couple failed attempts to recapture Bing and Google simply disappearing off the grid for a while under Dark’s protection, they started to let it go, preferring to watch Bing from a distance for years.

As Logan had guessed it, Bing became great friends with Chase, Patton, and Roman. The three of them getting to life-threatening antics.

But Bing was happy, and that’s what the heroes cared about. And if some of Bing’s nanities were “misplaced” into Logan and Jackie’s new suits, no one mentioned it.

Bing would keep chasing Google until they were both safe, that was the orange android’s new mission parameters.

#Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #Egoton Origins #Markiplier #jacksepticeye #Thomas Sanders #Googleplier #Bingiplier #Jackieboy Man #Logan Sanders #Darkiplier #Bingle #pre-slash #slight robot angst #slight angst #governmental interference #Bing being a bit thirsty #undetailed human death #Google killed a lot of people

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makeste · 5 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 194: Dream Analysis and Joint Battle Training

Previously on BnHA: Deku had a freaky dream! All the previous wielders of OFA were there (although we couldn’t see all of them clearly), and there was an epic flashback starring the first one, All For One’s Brother. He spent most of the flashback screaming at All for One to stop toying with people and using them for his own purposes. AFO spent most of the flashback ignoring his brother completely and being a bad bitch. He built an army of loyal followers who eventually grew bold enough to start taking violent and even lethal action against AFO’s enemies. Then one day he came to see his little bro again, and they talked about an old comic they read as children. AFO was inspired by the villain in the story, but his bro identified with the story’s hero, who never gave up in spite of the struggle, until he finally won and saved everyone. AFO was all “well that’s just a story,” which was some great fucking irony right there, and then he bestowed his brother with a quirk, thus unknowingly sealing his own doom. OFA Primo then turned to Deku and started talking to him, telling him there was more he wanted to show him but that this was all he could manage right now. But he told Deku “you are not alone.” And then Deku woke himself up by activating some sort of new power in his hand, inadvertently destroying half of his fucking room in the process.

Today on BnHA: Deku tells All Might about the dream and about how OFA Primo spoke to him. All Might says he’s seen the “Vestiges” of One for All in the past, but that they’d never communicated with him. Shimura had told him about that phenomenon though. Apparently the wills of the past OFA wielders are contained within the quirk as part of its power. But All Might has no clue regarding the explosion that took place when Deku woke up, and he tells Deku that for now, they’ll search for the answers together. As Deku heads off to his afternoon training session, he runs into Aizawa and Shinsou in the hall. We then cut to the industrial training ground area, where class 1-A shows off their various cold weather gear, including Katsuki, who’s got almost a whole new look going on and I love it and never want him to go back tbh. Class 1-B then joins them, and we learn that today’s class will be a joint training exercise. Oh, and there’s going to be a special guest -- Shinsou, who is still trying to transfer into the hero department. And he’s also sporting a familiar-looking capture scarf around his neck.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 213 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

so it’s the middle of the night still, and Deku is out running because he couldn’t fall back asleep

ahhhhh look at his cool winter gym uniform!

incidentally, the title of this chapter is “Wintery Sky! U.A. High!” and yesssss we’re finally getting into winter now! THAT MEANS A CERTAIN SOMEONE SHOULD BE GETTING HIS NEW COSTUME ANY DAY NOW, I THINK. I CAN’T WAIT AHHHHHH

and a brief flashback now of Aoyama giving Deku some cheese to make him feel better after his episode

true friendship right here

and now Deku’s continuing to run, and thinking that even though it was a dream, he remembers it as clear as day

that’s because it wasn’t just a dream, Deku. those are memories, obviously. memories which are now a part of you bud

it looks like his hand’s back to normal. I wonder what quirk it was that he activated?

also is he allowed to be out at night like this? you trying to get yourself put under house arrest again or what?

YOOOOOOOOOO

THIS IS THE COOLEST FUCKING SHIT OH MY GODDDD

though it’s looking more like androgynous trenchcoat dude is indeed just a dude. well, whatever!

at least we finally get to see the First’s face! yessss I’m so hyped this is the coolest fucking thing ever

and now we’re cutting to U.A. the next morning!

oh my god

ALL MIGHT YOU GOT SOME ‘SPLAININ’ TO DO

LOOK AT DEKU’S ANNOYED FACE

YOU KNOW HE FUCKING DID, DEKU. WHAT ELSE HAS THIS ASSHOLE BEEN HIDING FROM YOU. HE NEVER TELLS HIM SHIT

still trying to figure out exactly how old All Might was when he received OFA. we know Shimura died before his last year of high school. and he seems to have met her when in middle school. I guess he most likely received it around the same age as Deku but just had a better handle on controlling the strength part of it as he explained in the previous arc

so Deku’s explaining that he watched until the point where the First received OFA, and then after that the dude started talking directly to him

...does Deku actually think that All Might omitted this by accident? does he not realize All Might was deliberately untruthful?

...

...is this true or not. damn it

I’m inclined to think no, because All Might has a history of Not Telling Deku Things

anyways we’re flashing back to when Shimura told him about this

ah, so is this the explanation for why a power-stockpiling quirk would also stockpile memories, and even what appear to be souls? you’re saying it’s his predecessors’ wills?

(ETA: somewhat disturbing but also intriguing thought that just occurred to me. we know that AFO’s quirk and OFA’s quirk are related. they’re more or less opposites of each other, but they both grew out of the same bloodline. so if OFA can pass along the previous users’ wills, does it then stand to reason that AFO can do the same thing? when AFO imparts a new quirk on someone, is he also imparting a little bit of the previous quirk owner’s will? could that be one of the reasons why the process often overloaded people’s minds and turned them into “puppets”? and also, if this is the case, does that mean there’s actually a 10th person’s will hidden somewhere within OFA? whoever it was who originally owned the power-stockpiling quirk in the first place?

one last thought -- if this is the case, wouldn’t it be great if this is part of what leads to AFO’s eventual downfall? all the quirks he’s stolen over the years betray him, with their owners’ wills working to battle against him in his own mind. kinda makes me wonder whether Horikoshi has ever read FMA.)

and in fact All Might did experience this when he fought All for One for the last time, now that I think of it. pretty sure I even made note of it at the time. Shimura was there telling him to remember his origin. although by that point he’d already given up OFA to Deku, so it’s hard to say for sure. but I’m still choosing to believe it really was her, offering him her strength and support when he needed it the most

always with the not saying things. why do I stan this frustrating man so badly omg

the more we see of All Might, the more I recall what he said to Endeavor about having a tendency to push everyone away from him. and it seems like even with Deku, his beloved protege whom he loves and supports with all his heart and is devoted to, there is still some part of him that he has closed off there. either to protect him, or just out of habit by this point. he’s just used to holding everything in and never confiding in anyone. and damn it but why are all of my faves like this

now Deku’s snapping him out of his reverie and All Might’s like “oh yeah wait a sec”

whoa, but it seems like not even he understands what happened there?

so he doesn’t know about the whole passing along the quirks thing? or is he keeping it secret? tbh I cannot think of a single reason why he would keep that knowledge from him if he did know, because it could potentially be super dangerous. and obviously All Might only ever had the one quirk himself. so I’m thinking now that this is indeed something that only Deku has awakened thus far, which is super interesting

(ETA: so the verdict appears to be in, and it seems he didn’t know. also, yet again here is another mention of that quirk singularity shit. you sure have awakened something dangerous my little green son.)

damn it All Might

he seems so genuine... I feel like he really is telling him the truth for the most part. or maybe he knew it was a possibility but he never experienced it much himself and so he figured it would be the same for Deku

so what I’m taking from this then is that while All Might was a natural when it came to figuring out the physical side of OFA, maybe Deku’s more naturally gifted when it comes to the spiritual side? I’m starting to think of it in Avatar: The Last Airbender terms now lol. All Might was more of a Korra while Deku is an Aang

(ETA: and you know, I think that analogy can even be stretched to their respective coming-of-age processes as well. like Korra, All Might went through the normal training process and was given time to master his power. but Deku is more like Aang in that he hasn’t had that same benefit of being able to learn all of this gradually. like Aang, he’s kind of been thrust right into the thick of things before he was fully prepared for it, and a lot of his growth has been of the trial by fire variety.

and this is only going to get worse from here, because the League of Villains is not going to wait until little All Might Jr. is all grown up before making their move. Deku is going to be put to the test soon, and he won’t be ready for it, and he’ll have to do it anyway because the fate of the world may depend on it. I know the whole SIXQUIRKS thing potentially looks like a massively overpowered upgrade at first glance, but the thing is that he’s still a kid, and he has no idea how to use this shit. look at how much he’s struggled learning how to use just one quirk without killing himself. now throw in six new ones with no training manual. and on top of that they’ve all been cranked up to 11 thanks to that quirk singularity(TM) shit. basically it’s going to be a hot fucking mess that will probably get him into as much trouble as it helps get him out of. he’s still going to be figuring out what percentages he can safely use, and he’ll be forced to put his Big Hero Brain to the test in new and fascinating ways as he comes up with strategies to use whatever he does manage to figure out.

and meanwhile he’ll be up against Tomura and the League and -- eventually -- AFO himself. much like Aang inevitably had to take on Ozai even though he was only 12 years old and his training wasn’t complete. I’m anticipating something similar for Deku in the endgame here, and I think it’s going to be an amazing ride and I can’t wait.)

so now Deku is smiling and he says he’ll do his best

oh!

;_;

;_______;

(1) THIS IS THE PUREST INTERACTION THAT’S EVER GRACED THIS MANGA’S PAGES, and (2) HELL YEAH SHE FUCKING WAS

(ETA: this makes me so fucking sad now because I’m sure All Might would give anything to be able to see and talk to Shimura again one last time. if Horikoshi does kill him off I hope he gets to see her first.)

so now they’re heading out and All Might’s escorting Deku to his next class and says he’s gonna watch and that it seems like it’ll be fun

and they’re running into Aizawa who’s stepping out into the hall himself

OH SHIT

WAS HE JUST MEETING WITH SHINSOU??

okay but I’m pretty sure Shinsou hasn’t been accepted into the hero program yet? because truthfully this is another thing I’m pretty sure I’ve been spoiled for, though that was kind of an inevitable development so to me it’s not a huge spoiler. but anyways pretty sure that won’t happen until around chapter 216 though so this meeting can’t have been about that

given that this is not the first time we’ve seen these two together, I think we can assume that Aizawa has been mentoring him off and on? I keep seeing Shinsou included as one of Aizawa’s kids in fanfics (maybe once I finish this arc I can finally read some of those), so I’m guessing it’s something like that. he’s so addicted to being a good dad that he goes out of his way to find even more kids to adopt in his free time. jesus christ

huh, Shinsou seems much happier than he was the last time we saw him!

... [hair ruffles]

LOL AIZAWA

THIS CLOSE-UP STARTLED THE SHIT OUT OF ME LMAO

and now we’re cutting to one of the training grounds! I think this is the one where they had that race that one time right after the Hero Killer arc. but I forget the name of it though

AHHHHHHH

WINTER CLOTHES

why the fuck can’t Momo wear a cape all the time!?

Tsuyu’s winter gear seems less extreme than I thought and I’m a bit surprised! but I guess it must be warmer than it looks

all Mina did was add a fur collar. girl you are going to freeze your ass off

no comment on Hagakure but you all know what I think already lol

AND WHERE IS MY SON WHO I KNOW FOR A FACT HAS A COMPLETELY REVAMPED WINTER OUTFIT WHICH I’M ABOUT TO BE LIVING FOR

AHHHHH YESSSSSS

COME AND FANGIRL WITH ME DEKU!

OH MY GOD YES!!!!!

IT’S SO MUCH BETTER THAN HIS NORMAL COSTUME. 10,000x BETTER!! THE SLEEVES AND THE COLLAR COMPLETELY CHANGE THE LOOK. THE COLLAR ESPECIALLY, IT MAKES IT SO THE METAL COLLAR NO LONGER LOOKS SO WEIRD. I’M SORRY BUT THE DEEP V-NECK AND THE BARE SHOULDERS WERE JUST ODD

like, I think his normal costume was designed more with his future image of himself in mind, and doesn’t necessarily work as well with a teenage boy who is still growing and still has a relatively lean frame. he’s got a lot of muscle, yeah, but his costume is the sort of thing that would look more natural on someone with an Endeavor or Muscle Might type of build. his shoulders are not broad enough yet for it to really look natural

(ETA: and you know what, come to think of it I don’t think he’s ever gonna bulk up as much as either of them, because the more muscle he’s got, the more difficult it’s going to be for him to propel himself with his quirk. he’s gotta strike a balance there. so in conclusion Katsuki your summer costume needs a redesign!)

so the collar really helps here because it hides his whole neck which helps a lot with that awkwardness lol

anyway I’ll stop analyzing Kacchan’s costume now you guys but please rest assured that I fucking love it and this shit was worth the wait

(ETA: oh my god and now that Awase’s gone and busted up his gauntlets too, is it too much to hope he might redesign those to be a bit less bulky as well? dare to dream!? Horikoshi are you listening??)

and now I’ll let Deku have his own fangirl moment

you guys. I can’t oh my god I fucking can’t

but just. he’s so excited. and more importantly he’s interacting naturally with Kacchan without the slightest bit of uncertainty or hesitation or awkwardness, even though Kacchan’s still being a grumpy grump

and really Kacchan is behaving no differently than he would toward any other classmate. there’s no actual heat there, just normal Kacchan banter

in fact, if you look a little closer at this interaction, Katsuki actually invited him to talk. he saw Deku staring at him, and rather than telling him to fuck off and go bother someone else, he actually gave him express permission to start geeking out. (and then got fucking embarrassed by it oh my god)

in other words, they are interacting like normal classmates with none of the awkwardness and unease and hostility that was there before, and it’s fucking amazing. this is all I’ve wanted this entire time you guys oh my god

(ETA: seeing Bakugou and Deku finally interact again in this arc has given me so much joy. this is easily one of my favorite arcs just for that alone)

so now Ojiro’s coming up to Deku and saying that his suit is the one that’s had the most dramatic change lol. and that he even got new gloves recently

oh for fuck’s sake lol

okay at this point I totally support the Dekacho if that’s what they want to do. but why do they have to keep showing it by having Ochako get jealous of every third person Deku interacts with??

(or rather, every third person with boobs. because if this was a bit more realistic and she was paying just a bit more attention, the person she ought to be the most jealous of right now is Kacchan lol)

ohhhhhhh SNAP

I know it would end up just getting shredded, but Kiri might want to think about getting some sort of winterized non-shirtless version of his own costume too regardless. maybe just get something made from an inexpensive and easily replaceable material

anyway! holy shit, I forgot all about this, but I knew there was something with class B coming up soon because the manga was in the middle of this arc back when I first started reading it. and so this was what everyone was talking about

Monoma is surprisingly flexible

where’s Kendou? and that Pony girl?

holy shit Monoma

“my research”

son, I want details on your sample sizing and the way the question was phrased. I’m not sure if this holds up

lol and even then they only won by 2 votes

did you vote in your own questionnaire Monoma

lmao Aizawa is choking him out with his capture weapon oh shit

“shut up” oh damn. you do not insult class A in this man’s presence

so now Vlad is saying they’re going to have a special guest! and Aizawa’s telling them not to embarrass themselves

is it Shinsou. again, this guess is based solely on what I can recall of the fandom atmosphere when I first started reading the series and before I realized that I should blacklist spoilers

(ETA: okay so rereading this recap, I realize it seems like I’ve been spoiled for practically every damn thing in this arc, and I just wanted to make a quick note that this isn’t actually the case lol. I knew some basic stuff about the Joint Training arc, but I had no idea what the battles would be like, who was gonna win, or that Deku’s new upgrade would come into play the way that it did. basically I knew about SIXQUIRKS (but with no context), Kacchan’s costume, Shinsou’s presence (and what I assume is his successful bid to join the hero course), and that it would be 1-A vs 1-B. so basically most of this arc has still been a ride and I’ve really enjoyed it.)

I love that Baku, Kami, and Tetsu are all demonstrating their own unique ways of how they would befriend the special guest

AHHHH YEP IT’S HIM

THE WEIRD MASK THING OH MY GOD

I HAVE WONDERED ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG YOU GUYS. HE WAS WEARING IT IN SO MANY FANARTS AND I WAS LIKE WTF IS THAT

and is that an Aizawa-style capture weapon?? oh ho?!

you guys, this chapter was only 13 pages long. and it was so good. that’s not fair, you deserve more pages BnHA. why is the page count so damn inconsistent; I’m already dreading once I’m caught up and I never know what to expect each week

but for now I still get to binge. finally my procrastination pays off. thanks to my efforts, I have another 22 chapters to read instead of like 4 or 5 lol. there’s a lesson in that, kids. maybe. or probably not actually lol

okay guys, and unfortunately I have to end this recap by announcing that I’m going to be taking another brief hiatus, most likely for about a week or so. there is some financial shit I need to get sorted before the end of the month, and I need to find myself another job too so I’m gonna need to do everything I can to focus on that.

I’ll try to catch up with some of my asks and the comments whenever I have a chance. and aside from that, I will hopefully see you guys in a week, hopefully under circumstances where I can breathe a little easier! be well, everyone.

100 notes · View notes

justauthoring · 6 years

Text

Pleading For Mercy - Stiles Stilinski

Ooooh go on then!! Can I request a stiles stilinski x reader where the big lizard thing (I can't remember what it's called!) gets her in the garage say she's working on stiles' jeep instead of the dude and he rescues her/pulls her away just in time before the thingy collapses? You can throw in some sarcastic stilinski at the end if you like :) hope you enjoy!!

can I have a stiles x reader where the reader and stiles aren’t together but she almost gets killed (whatever villain/ thing you’re dealing with atm ) and he saves her and just holds her afterwards and comforts her bc she’s scared.

Requested by: @creamychickenuggets

Author’s Notes: So, I wasn’t exactly sure how to write this, given that in that scene, the dude died. Therefore, it’s slightly different for writing purposes.

Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. If you want to repost my work. please ask first - but even then I might say no.

Word Count: 706

There was a sudden sting in the back of your neck. You felt the slightest touch of something, though you weren’t sure what, almost like a claw, before your entire body froze. You opened your mouth to say something, but found the words caught in your throat. Your body was more than just frozen, it was rigid and even though you tried, you couldn’t move your own limbs.

You felt back then, the last strength in your body being ultimately your down-fall. You thudded against the ground, the back of your head hitting the concrete and for a moment your vision blurred. You blinked, trying to see or spot something. Whatever had hurt you, it’d paralyzed you as well. And as you stared up before you, you saw Stiles’s jeep above, the machine it’d been on directly above you.

Even though nothing had happened, you knew, deep down, that that thing hadn’t just paralyzed you for the sake of it.

The only thing you could move was your head, but even then, only slightly. You felt your heart race, the frustration of not being able to move your own body only adding to the complete terror you felt. You tried to think of something, anything, that could help you. Then, you remembered - Stiles.

You tested to see if you could move your mouth, and you could. You hoped to God that the boy was still around, and hadn’t run off since your last conversation.

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, the familiar hum of machinery echoed. And as you slowly moved your eyes back out before you, you realized your fears were coming true. The lift that the jeep had been resting was slowly moving downwards, picking up velocity as it went. In mere minutes, it’d crush you.

Eyes widening, you used every last bit of your strength to call out; “Stiles!” Part of you wanted to just accept the fact that Stiles had probably already ran off, and there was no saving you. The pessimistic side of you at least. But the determined part of you, told yourself to fight. You may not be able to move but you could scream at the top of your lungs until your throat was raw.

And so you did. Repeatedly calling Stiles’s name as you watched it grow closer and closer, minutes, even less than that, away from crushing you to death. You pleaded for help and cried, desperation flooding your better judgement. There was absolutely no way to tell if Stiles was there, if he was coming to help you or not, because you could barely move your head. You just had to wait, lay there, unable to move; to either be saved or to die.

Then, seconds before the weight of the entire jeep would fall on you, hands slipped under your armpits, tugging. A breath of relief flooded you, willing yourself to help Stiles, or whoever, pull you out. But you couldn’t. No matter how hard you tried.

And then, you stopped and the arms disappeared. You heard a metallic clang, and figured that the machinery had lowered finally.

Stiles’s face appeared above you, wide eyed and panicked as he breathed heavily. “Jesus... fuck,” he whispered, “Y/N. Y/N, are you okay? Are you hurt?” You weren’t oblivious to the fact that he hadn’t asked what happened, or why you were paralyzed. But you didn’t really care either.

You just nodded, still stunned. Then, as if realization of everything came crashing down on you, you felt your eyes water. Stiles noticed almost immediately, and his hands fell on you once again, this time on your shoulders as he hauled you upwards. Before you knew it, and despite only knowing Stiles because he was in one of your classes, the boy wrapped his arms around you and held you tight.

You let him. Even if you could’ve moved your limbs, you would’ve let him. Right now, his comfort was the only thing keeping you sane.

“Thank you,” you whispered. Your eyes drifted to where Stiles’s jeep was, feeling your heart still racing madly against your chest. “Oh God, thank you.”

Stiles only grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you closer to himself as you let out a sob.

let me know what you thought? remember, reblogging always helps!

requests are open!

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8-bitgossip · 6 years

Photo

Quotations

Ambient Conversation:

“It’s mornings like this that make you almost forget -- wait, was that a gunshot? *sighs* Nevermind.” “As much as I love this whole, “wilderness” business, can we find a road, or a car, or something? “Hurting people may never be at the top of my to-do list; but when they threaten my home, I make an exception.” “There are things that see a hell of a lot better than we can at night, let’s camp out somewhere before we’re both bear food.” “You ever think that there isn’t going to be an acceptable punishment for these assholes when we find them? They’ve ruined too many lives for there to be an equitable solution.”

When the Deputy Points a Gun at Them:

“Look. If you’re going to be a dumbass. Be it somewhere else. Not around me.” “I can break fingers just as easily as I can set them.”

Holland Valley:

“This is my home, and to see it burn and the people’s lives in ruins -- there aren’t words.” “While we’re up here, maybe I should stop by and see Kim, make sure she’s doing alright.” “Some people may see John Seed as a pretty face -- but I’d just as soon shoot him between them for all he’s done.” “You ever see that big fucking “YES” sign up on the hillside? The asshole made his “followers” make it as repentance for their sin. Fucking sick if you ask me.” “I wonder how Grace is holding up -- I know how rough these last few months have been on her, she sounded worse for wear in her last broadcast. I hope she’s alright.” “It pisses me off that my office was turned from a family practice into a triage and meatball surgery station. They won’t get away with this -- the blood of this Valley is on their hands.”

After Being Captured By John:

1st Encounter: “You’re lucky Pastor Jerome was listening into all of the Peggie radio chatter -- John doesn’t exactly have a gentle touch. I’ve patched up more than my fair share of people who escaped his flayings.” 2nd Encounter: “Well, you know Hudson’s alive. It’s not much of a consolation, but it’s a reason to put this fucker in the ground. We’re all behind you, Deputy.” John’s Death: “There hasn’t been anything so satisfying in my life as watching that fucking plane go down in fucking smoke. Thank you for giving us back the Valley, Deputy.”

Henbane River:

“Sometimes I think Sharky has the right idea -- with the Bliss at least. Burn it all fucking down.” “You’re telling me that Lindsey was out in this mess? The man’s braver than I thought -- especially because he has the survival skills of a newborn kitten.” “I made a lot of housecalls out this way -- mostly preppers who don’t trust cities or small towns or villages or any group of people really. What fun that was.” “There’s something terribly ironic about the only available stronghold in the Henbane being a jail. Don’t worry. I won’t pick any fights. Yet.” “I’ve heard rumors that Faith is having them dump her Bliss into the waters of the area -- I don’t want to think about all of the kids who would spend their summers swimming in these creeks.” “Make sure you’re careful out here -- the Bliss does stuff, most of it we can’t explain, and if it pushes you too far, we may never be able to get you back.”

After Being Captured By Faith:

1st Encounter: “As your doctor, I can’t in good faith keep recommending you to jump off large statues like that. So, if you could refrain from doing so in the future, I can sleep much better.” 2nd Encounter: “Look. I know you want to save the Marshall, be the hero and all that, but you’re putting yourself in danger, real danger, by doing this. Just… Be careful. That’s all I’m saying. Faith’s Death: “It’s such a shame that the woman who has destroyed not only people’s lives but their minds is gone. I’m really going to miss her. That’s sarcasm, it’s all sarcasm. Fuck that woman. I hope she’s burning in hell right now.”

Whitetail Mountains:

“Look, if we don’t find an ATV or car. I swear to Christ, I am going back to Fall’s End and refuse every single radio call from you ever again.” “Jacob’s the worst of the four -- takes everything from you, like Faith, but worse, because it’s like your a passenger in your own body. What kind of sick fuck does that to someone?” “I’ve heard of the Whitetail Militia -- sort of like Robin Hoods against the big bad Jacob Seed. Taking supplies, men, whatever they can from him. Gotta admit, with how on edge Jacob is, they have to be doing a good enough job.” “No. I refuse. I am not going with you to the Hurk family residence. Go find someone else. I’ve had my fill of nonsense for one life.” “If he’s willing to treat people like animals, can you imagine what those poor Judges of Jacob’s have gone through? The only monster up here is him.” “After mucking around up here, you have to admit that Jess was right. None of these people deserve a second chance -- they have zero regard for human life.”

After Being Captured By Jacob

1st Encounter: “You… You don’t look good, Deputy. Maybe you should take some time to recover? Eli and the other members of the Resistance won’t do well if you just go and die on them.” 2nd Encounter: “You’re going to kill yourself if you keep pushing like this. It’s what Jacob wants, you realize that? Push you to edge and watch what happens when you have nothing else. Don’t listen. Take care of yourself. Take care of the Resistance.” Jacob’s Death: “That fucker deserved half of the decency you gave him… It’s… The Whitetails’ have lost so much. Through all of this. And they’re going to lose even more. I can feel it.”

Intercompanion Dialog:

Nick

Nick: “Hey doc, I gotta question for ya--” Ashlee: “Shoot, Nick.” Nick: “Just how accurate are those ultrasound thingies that you guys do?” Ashlee: “Nick, you’re having a girl. It’ll be easier if you just accept it.” Nick: “Kim told you say that, didn’t she?” Ashlee: *sighs*

Grace

Ashlee: “So. Care to meet me for drinks at the Spread Eagle later?” Grace: *laughs* “You definitely have an interesting sense of timing, Kennedy.” Ashlee: “That’s not a no, And I promise I’ll buy this time.” Grace: “Well, who am I to say no to an offer like that.” Ashlee: “I’m pretty sure that the Deputy has things handled here, you want to head out?” Grace: “Absolutely. Lead the way, doc.” Ashlee: “We’re just kidding Deputy, we’ll wait ‘til you kick us out to enjoy ourselves. You’re not invited though.”

Boomer

Ashlee: “Come on, bring the stick back over here, Boomer. We can play fetch for a while.” Boomer: *bork* Ashlee: “You are the best boy, I really don’t understand what problem Sharky has with you.”

Sharky

Sharky: “Hey doc, it’s been a while. Stayin’ out of trouble I hope.” Ashlee: “*laughs* Absolutely not. You know who I hang out with.” Sharky: “Well shit, evidently I’ve been missing out on all of the parties, you’ll have to invite me next time.” Ashlee: “Nope. Not allowed. We’re destructive enough already. The last thing we need is for things to actually be on fire.” Sharky: “Aw. Come on Ash, you know I can behave. You just have to ask.” Ashlee: “*snort* Cute, Sharky. You can come next time; bring the beer, less the hands. Grace is too good of a shot.”

Adelaide:

Addy: “Oh boy, those Seed men; what I wouldn’t give to---” Ashlee: “Nope. We are not doing this. Pick a different topic, any topic.” Addy: “Well then, I heard that a while ago, you knocked boots with that cute nephew of mine.” Ashlee: “Nope! I changed my mind. We’re just gonna go on in silence.”

Billy:

Billy: “So. What do you think of that moonshine I sent down to Mary May?” Ashlee: “You’re going to kill someone with that shit. It’s what? Over 100 proof?” Billy: “Easily. You know, maybe if we sent some to the Project it’ll loosen them up.” Ashlee: “Please for the love of god. Don’t go there I’ve been scarred enough in recent months.” Billy: “Oh, come on. It can’t hurt. Plus you know, maybe it’ll help them loosen up on the whole, “no fornicating rule.”” Ashlee: “Don’t. Do not. Speak. Of. Fucking. The. Seeds.”

Peaches:

Ashlee: “You know, you’re not nearly as terrifying as I thought -- even though you’re a 120 pound killing machine.” Peaches: *cougar noises* Ashlee: “Okay. Fine. Grace You’re right. She’s pretty cute.”

Hurk:

Hurk: “So I heard you’re now datin’ Grace Armstrong.” Ashlee: “...yes?” Hurk: “Not that I have any problem with that, we are all free to love whoever we choose but--” Ashlee: “For the love of god, what is the point to all of this, Hurk?” Hurk: “Just curious -- who’s better, dudes or ladies?” Ashlee: “Nope.”

Jess:

Jess: “You’ve gotten much better at shooting since I first saw you on the range, doc.” Ashlee: “Thank you -- your pointers have been a lifesaver out here. Literally.” Jess: “I - uh, thank you so much, Doc. That really means a lot coming from you.” Ashlee: “Of course, Jess. Just. Be sure to take care of yourself out here, alright? There are people who are waiting for you to come home.”

Bridget:

Bridget: “Hey -- so you remember that last weekend before everything went to shit? We went up to the lakes up in the tops of the Whitetails? You, me, Grace and Billy got so smashed and we--” Ashlee: “Please don’t. You’re going give me a residual hangover. I still have nightmares of that weekend.” Bridget: “Okay but, drunken skinny dipping while singing Sweet Home Alabama--” Ashlee: “Yeah, yeah, alright. Maybe I do miss those nights before the Peggies went crazy. And maybe when this is all over, we can have another night like that again.” Bridget: “I’ll drink to that.” Ashlee: “Not while we’re walking around with live ammunition you’re not. I’ll end you right here, Campion.”

Cheeseburger:

Ashlee: “I hope that they’re keeping up with your diet, Cheeseburger.” Cheeseburger: *bear noises* Ashlee: “No cheeseburgers or other bad things, right? The people of Hope County need you, you’re the one thing that’s keeping us all together.”

#far cry 5 #guns for hire #gun for hire #guns for hire oc #ak: the doctor is in

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bby-calum · 6 years

Text

I Can’t Live Without You - Bucky Barnes Imagine

a/n: i haven’t written about bucky in so long i miss that dude. this also wasn’t requested, just based on a dream i had last night

word count: 1,532

masterlist: (x)

It had been three weeks since you had ended your relationship with him. In that time, you had occupied yourself on small missions with Sam, late night training sessions with Natasha, and helping Tony with designing new features for his suit. You hadn’t seen him once in this time. Steve had told you that he’d gone out of town for a while, leaving the compound in order to clear his head.

Some nights you found yourself slipping out from under your sheets to creep over to his room, even though you knew he wouldn’t be asleep in the bed the two of you had shared for so long, just to surround yourself with the familiar comfort of his scent. When you ended it, you told him, and yourself, that it was for the best. He had hurt himself too many times during missions trying to protect you. His focus was never on the task in hand, instead his mind was devoted to you, and you couldn’t have the guilt on your conscience that if he was ever to be seriously injured, or worse, it would be because he was protecting you instead of himself.

Through his sobs, he had tried to convince you to stay with him, promising that he would let you look after yourself, which he knew you were definitely capable of. His tears had only numbed your feelings and you were admittedly a little harsh on him, telling him you knew he couldn’t make that promise. He begged you, pleaded with you desperately, to stay, clutching onto your small hand in his large ones, not willing to let you go. He told you to sleep on it, that you’d feel differently in the morning, but you refused. You wriggled free from his grasp, a part of you wanted to stay, but you left him alone and broken, sobbing on his bedroom floor.

Making your way to the training room late that Tuesday, this time without Natasha’s company, you heard rough grunts escape the door down the corridor and the soft thuds of someone using the punchbag. You sighed as you had hoped for a night of training alone. As you gripped the door handle, the grunts of whoever was training transitioned into recognisable sobs, so loud you could hear the pain ring through the air.

You knew at once it was him. You wanted to turn around and head to bed, but your once detached heart shattered at the sound of his hurting, forcing you to unlock the door and enter the training room. He didn’t hear the soft pads of your footsteps against the foam mats as his agonising screams hid the noise of your entrance. He was knelt on the floor, his bloodied hands gripping tightly onto the punchbag that hung above his head as he held onto it for support. Not wanting to take him by surprise, you resisted the urge to touch his sweaty skin and hold him in your arms, calling out to him instead.

“Bucky. You came back,” your voice cracked as tears spilled down your cheeks. You were fearful he would turn around to face you and lash out, replacing his punchbag with your body. His head shot up at the sound of your voice and he turned his neck to look at you, his greasy hair flopping over his face. The sight of you was enough to destroy whatever was left of his heart. Rushing over to him, you caught him in your arms before he could hit the ground as he let go of the support he had on the punchbag.

Kneeling on the training mat, you held him gently as he sobbed into your chest for a lengthy amount of time. His bionic hand held onto your own flesh toned one. The cool metal felt at home against your skin and you hated yourself for ever allowing the two of you to be apart. As his sobs softened he managed to slow his breath and find the courage to finally look you in your bloodshot eyes that matched his own. He looked like he hadn’t slept for at least a fortnight. He was scaring you a little - he had a look in his eyes that was full of anger, or possibly lust, you couldn’t decide.

“Buck, I’m sorry,” you said after a while. He didn’t reply, choosing to tackle you so you were lay on your back with him leaning over you, his hand gripped to your neck. His face was centimetres away from yours, and you could see every detail of his tearstained face. You clutched onto his forearm as his hold on your neck tightened and you let out a small noise in fear of what he was going to do to you.

“You broke my heart,” he whispered, his voice shaking as he tried not to cry again. Loosening his grasp on your neck, he pressed his forehead against yours, his beads of sweat mixing with your own as you let out a heavy exhale. “I’m not myself without you,” he continued. “I can’t live without you.”

When you had first started dating Bucky, about five years ago, you were new to the Avengers. Tony had taken you in after your family was killed by Hydra, and Bucky was wary of you at first after he realised your strength. He knew you could easily take him in a fight, even with his metal limb. You scared him, and he loved it. He watched you from one of the windows high up on the training room’s wall, in awe of your impressive set of skills. You caught him staring one afternoon and noticed him again the next day, watching as you trained. That weekend, you found yourself in his bedroom confronting him about his stares. The rest, as they say, was history.

“I can’t live without you,” he repeated. You closed your eyes as your heads touched. Your heart was beating so loud you could hear it in your head and you wondered if Bucky could hear it too.

Opening your mouth, you went to say something, not quite sure what, but you were cut off as Bucky’s lips left a hard kiss on your mouth. It took you by surprise, but you found comfort in his act of love, as though it healed every wound you had acquired on your heart over the past three weeks. Bucky felt it too; it was as if all of his heartbreak had been forgotten with this one kiss.

Using one hand, he tugged his gym shirt over his head, discarding it across the room as your fingers traced patterns over his bare skin. Your delicate touch made him smile as he continued to kiss you, leaving wet kisses along your jaw, down your neck and onto your chest until his lips were stopped by the fabric of your camisole. He pushed the straps down one at a time with his finger, replacing them with the warmth of his lips. You sat up, forcing him to roll over so you now straddled his waist. He watched you as your camisole joined his shirt on the floor and helped you remove your bra. His hands, one warm, the other cold, held your breasts, kneading the skin with his fingertips.

“Someone’s coming,” you whispered, hearing someone fumble with the self locking door. It was probably Natasha, she was the only other person you knew who used the training room at this time. You scrambled off Bucky’s lap, helping him up, pulling him by his arm to hide behind a bunch of old mats that were leaning against the far wall. He wrapped his arms around you, covering your breasts, as he stood behind you, nestling his face in your messy hair, inhaling your sweet fragrance that he had missed. You peaked out from behind the mats, watching Natasha as she closed the door behind her. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed the discarded clothes on the floor in front of her that you didn’t have time to collect.

“Hello,” she called out. “Is there someone in here?”

“Don’t make a sound,” Bucky whispered gently in your ear, barely audible. You nodded, suddenly aware of how little you were wearing. Bucky pulled you closer to him, pressing his hard on against your butt. If it wasn’t for Bucky’s arms around you, you were certain you would have collapsed to the ground as his touch made you weak at the knees.

“Jesus Christ,” she muttered to herself, noticing your bra. Natasha scanned the room, not noticing the two of you in your hiding place, and decided to leave her training session for another night.

Once you were sure she had left, the two of you let out sighs of relief. You turned to face Bucky, your back against the wall. He towered over your small frame, pushing his body into yours, and kissed you again, slowly this time.

“I’m sorry,” you said as your lips parted. “I’m so sorry for hurting you, Bucky.”

“I can’t live without you, doll,” he said once more, shaking his head softly. “I won’t live without you.”

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electronique-brain · 6 years

Text

Random Commentary Post-The Last Jedi

I’ll preface this with I’m not a super-involved fan of Star Wars. I’ve seen all the films numerous time, read the fanfiction, and consequently know a bit about the expanded universe, but I’m not entering this theatre absolutely beholden to “this feels/doesn’t feel like Star Wars.”

So for anyone still here.

Rey/Luke/Kylo Ren

I actually really liked most of the Rey/Luke/Kylo Ren plot

I liked Luke’s reticence to train Rey and how even as he’s talking about how terrible the Jedi were, he falls into the trap that made Anakin prime pickings for the Dark Side—constantly distrusting someone who did nothing

However something about the way Luke was written was a bit “let’s make him as unrecognizable as possible”

I’d probably be more pissed about how willing Luke was to kill his nephew if I had rewatched the original trilogy before this

This film was long and something could’ve been trimmed, but I did like the “do you feel the force?” joke

Though I feel like Rian came into it with a bit of an irreverence for the force... which fine, whatever, we got the great Luke astral projecting (and being selectively solid?) scene. I enjoy how he makes zero efforts at trying to explain the force. Let the past midichlorians die.

Things that could’ve been cut: Rey and the mirror scene. Though as I’m typing this, maybe the mirror showing her was meant to convey “you’re the only one / your parents are dead”

I fricking love how Rey was nobody and her parents were nothing. I love this idea of Kylo Ren turning dark and the force just bypassing the Skywalkers to find the new Chosen One and it’s definitely more in line with this idea that anybody can be the hero. And I love Rey’s disbelief that a nobody like her would be the one to give everyone hope.

istg if I hear the word hope again though.

But the audience was seriously trolled for the longest damn time in real life. Basically don’t troll an audience, it really took away from this overarching theme.

Also the line “your parents sold you”—I feel like Rey being no one and being this child servant / scrapper in a desert planet made her a closer analogue to Anakin Skywalker

I guess all these Disney execs saw all the Kylo Ren mask memes and were like “fuck it, destroy the mask, kill it.” Whatever, I loved that.

Rey and Kylo Ren taking down the foot soldiers together was pure fanservice. As was Kylo Ren taking his shirt off. Which I would’ve cared more about if I cared more about Kylo.

I’m generally fine with Snoke being killed as he just didn’t feel like a scary villain in The Force Awakens. However, he had more of a presence here and just having all these scenes with him and then that death just felt anticlimactic.

The scene where Kylo Ren is on Crait and firing on the Resistance and he just whispers to shoot them all and Hux immediately yells the exact same thing. Kylo Ren’s look of disbelief and “dude I just said that” was great. I live for these tiny moments.

I’m assuming everyone was seeing Luke in his last battle, but I personally enjoy the idea of Kylo instructing everyone to shoot at something only he and the good guys could see and everyone just all “uhhhhhh-oh-kay...?”

I’m assuming the astral projection was so that 1) you wouldn’t have to explain how Luke got off the planet without a ship and 2) to show off how massively powerful Luke was

I would’ve really enjoyed a scene where Luke as a force ghost just appears in front of Rey telling her “thank you for reminding me who I am”

Or a scene where he verbally tells Kylo he was never going to kill him.

And if that happened in this movie and I forgot it, then not enough of a fuss about how Luke was lost and then found was made

I’m reading Poe telling Rey “he heard about her” was for her to see how even though she’s nobody from nowhere, she’s still very special to a lot of people and to counteract Kylo’s “you’re somebody to me”

But I will always be wary of Disney execs looking to make Poe straight

Poe / Leia

I feel like whoever wrote this script and cut this film cut out a lot of Poe’s inherent sexiness. Because let’s be real I refuse to believe Oscar Isaac would be around Finn without smizing.

And I guess some executive saw all the *runs to Finn**lip bite**”that jacket looks good” edits and deliberately put in that “Poe ignores Finn being alive after presumed death to hug BB8 for that long”

I liked him being the hotshot pilot and clashing with everyone all “we need to survive”

idk why Laura Dern’s character didn’t just tell Poe she was staying behind

“big ass ship” took me waaaaaaay out of the movie for a sec.

“The spark that lights the flame that ignites the fire that will burn the First Order down” Just who. Why.

Finn / Rose

Ugh. This mess.

It started out so damn promising. I enjoyed Rose and her fangirling over Finn. I like this idea of the story of a storm trooper who defected spreading through the resistance and the galaxy. “Doing talking”? Great.

But I’m not entirely sure the writers know who Finn is.

Did they even see TFA?

Oh wait, I’m sure they saw it. They saw it and just decided “let’s do the exact same thing—except worse”

Finn really needed another plot where he’s being too selfish but then decides to be selfless?

Dammit, fandom basically wrote you a damn plotline for what to do with Finn in this movie. Ugh.

Literally, all of Finn / Rose’s debacle in Canto Bight could’ve been nixed. There could’ve been another way to get onto the damn ship when they needed to be there.

And I get this whole “let’s worldbuild and show the top 1%” but not enough time was dedicated to it and that thread was not hinted at anywhere else. It just screamed the writers wanting to be topical.

I also just... Finn being in awe over it? I’m sorry, this guy was a trained soldier who defected after all the horrors of war. I feel like it would’ve made more sense for him to be repulsed by how much wealth was being showcased here, by how no one cared what was happening outside the casino.

The writers basically took away from Finn’s character to build up Rose. And she’s great, but she’s put into this trope of having to explain everything.

A+ for how Paige lingers in Rose’s story however.

Also, did a writer watch Charmed? Did they think, “oh, Paige.... oooh and Rose”

I’m sorry, but this story beat of “it was all for nothing” / “we were betrayed” doesn’t work when it has to compete with two other storylines.

Idk why they wanted to muddy the resistance with this “they also buy from war profiteers”. Zero pay off if there’s no other hint of corruption within the resistance, or if the audience is consistently instructed to root for the resistance.

And if this was simply the guy just trying to justify the pointlessness of everything, one line coming from someone the audience is unsure about isn’t gonna do that. That scene was basically pointless.

Finn beating Phasma in the end was just..... a reason to give Gwendoline a paycheck. The audience needed a reason/to be reminded of why Finn battling Phasma mattered. No such reason was provided.

Finn’s selfless act had zero weight. We’ve already seen him prepare to sacrifice himself for someone else!

I’m sorry, these different themes in Poe’s and Finn’s story are contradicting each other.

I’m for survival over suicidal heroic deeds, but you have Rose constantly saying “you don’t run away” but then ... Finn should run away? You have Roe’s “you don’t run away”, but then you have Poe’s beat of “sometimes it’s better to survive”.

Dammit writers, you should’ve just finagled a reason for Finn to infiltrate Snoke’s ship. Maybe have him and Rose turn other storm troopers so you can get in her moment of wonder scene of freeing people from oppression. Ugh.

Maybe I need to rewatch this, but....... I don’t see any hints of romantic attraction between Rose and Finn.

I’m not saying there’s a conspiracy to put as much distance between Finn/Poe as possible, but I’m saying the “I love you” felt so shoehorned that I’m deliberately contextualizing it within how Oscar Isaac’s smizing was cut away.

#star wars #the last jedi #spoilers #the last jedi spoilers

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owlskater-blog · 4 years

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Fight Day

7 December 2019

A day i woke up with anxiety already drowning my mind even before my brain started functioning.the day I’ve been training relentlessly for. Nervous yet excited, afraid yet happy because my training is finally over and after this fight will be able to cut some slack on myself and splurge on all the salted caramel waffle from Proofer. oh and also i was excited to destroy whoever was gonna stand in front of me. MANNNNNN the journey to Onyx MMA was THE WORST today. Partly because I don’t usually take public transport And also because it is fight day. AND i forgot to pee before boarding the bus GGWP. i have to hold in my pee for about 45min and yes, marched straight to onyx toilet upon alighting lmfao

fortunately the fear i had of whatever will happen in the ring fades upon reaching Onyx. probably the lingering pheromone that i’ve shed in my sweat and blood(okay maybe a few tears) instilled the confidence due to the memories of those time i felt like i was gonna die from the shit my trainers put me through LOL

May i please inform you all Muay Thai Oil fucking sucks BIG TIME. probably due to me not being used to it and hence my skin just turn red and burnt BIG TIME LOL. But I applied Methyl Salicylate ointments fortdaily to help me get used to the MT Oil. Yeap, that’s the burning component in those hot oil.(from what i researched) AND IT STILL BURNT BAD GOD DAMN IT.

FIGHT 1 starts. my nervousness,anxiety and fear rises hysterically. but i refuse to let it get the better of me. i would not allow my emotions to defeat me before i even step into the ring.I refuse to watch the fights before me to keep the adrenaline down before my fight. i want to be as calm as possible to be better at taking this man’s life in the ring. I listened to Mike Tyson’s speech about how “once he is in the ring, he is a god” for extra confidence boost.As soon as fight 5 was about to commence, i plugged in to Carabao for a relaxed,feel good mood and to allow myself to move to the beat just to loosen up the body instead of feeling nervous and tense.

Fight 7′s winner is about to be announced. switched off my bluetooth earpiece and stuffed it into my bag. it is time for me to kill someone and i was willing to die in there trying to attain his soul. FIGHT 8.main event. that’s my cue. my time to shine,motherfuckers. I’m going to give the audience a show. what you came to see. a fucking war. what better way then to end the main event on a very adrenaline filled action huh?

leg kicks and and heavy hands was my initial plan. halfway through, it just slips my mind. gameplan went down the drain as i became too dependent on sweeps. FUCK. round 3, dude elbowed me. i thought ref was gonna stop. i felt his forearm right across my temple and ear. so i dropped my guard for a moment. bam was greeted with a cross to the nose.i mean it,s my fault too right? “Protect Yourself at all times”. but of course i was gonna return the favour, but unfortunately, i did not manage to land anything clearly.

LOST the decision. felt so fucked and distraught. almost brokedown on my girlfriend....

but i feel like i should not cry because i gave my heart and soul in the ring and i lost like a warrior. i did an awesome job not even fazed by the punch that broke my nose. yes the damn cross broke my nose but HEY!!!! there was blood shedded!! hell yeah!!

FINALLY TIME i can drink alcohol after abstaining for like 9 weeks.. still stoked that i managed to gain some fan especially when Kak Kay walked up and told me how she loved the way i fought!!!!!!! thank you so much for your kind words!!!

thank you to everyone of my trainers for the opportunity to fight and of course,for the hours and hours of hardwork you have put in to better ourself every single day, every session!

AND Kru Keng’s cocktail drink was the fucking SHIT!!!! It was a magic concoction!!! sweet lord almighty.....

Onyx MMA, never have i ever felt at home as much as this Gym the trainers, i trust them with my live more than i will ever do with my own family....

to many more fights, to many more litres of sweat on the mat HAHA

leave better than before!!!!

#onyxmma #reflection

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virmillion · 4 years

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//ignore me, warning for long post ahead

future lab: it’s questions tiiiime!! get out ur pen and paper bitch we got a Book To Write

Do people have glasses in this universe? if so, who makes them? are they coveted or free? cool or frowned upon? can you sidestep the necessity with magic? do people think those that need glasses are smarter (like, they study so much their eyes go bad)? do glasses look the same as ours? are there contacts? bifocals? sunglasses? are they stylish and designer or purely functional? are they even called glasses? Maybe there are no glasses. would people with poor vision just be screwed? would they again be able to solve it with magic? do some people think repairing their vision is unnatural re: boomers against tattoos and multiple piercings? are there optometrists in this universe? is it a tough position to get? to keep? are there too many or not enough optometrists?

What’s the travel like? does everyone go everywhere on foot? horseback? alternative bikes? are there cars and buggies? landboats™️? do people go skiing in winter? snowboarding? skateboarding (not winter specific)? are there special Travel Songs to pass the time faster (re: the song that goes on forever, 99 bottles of [ale] on the wall)? can you pay extra money for a long distance piggy back ride?

What do people do for fun? do people read? draw? write? paint? sing? dance? are these coveted ‘“skills”’ or just things people Do? are some hobbies considered more uninteresting/unfulfilling than others? does cooking count as a hobby or a necessity? how does the outward appearance/physical task of doing these differ in this universe? is it an art form to draw in mud and sand because it’s impermanent?**

**i actually like this one, and once you hit culture, i would like if you would have a holiday around impermanence, or temporariness, or something like that, where the celebration is to Do Art in the sand and the dirt and the mud (perhaps scheduled for the day before what is expected to be the seventh rainfall of the year or something significant like that), and people do art in all different ways of all different things - you would need to work out if this carries across all races or is (for example) human-specific. i like worldwide better, because it’s easier, but that’s boring, so it might be cute if it’s just humans (shortest general lifespan, so of course they’ll be more aware of how temporary they are), and the other races don’t really get it or care because their time is less fleeting. you would then be able to have pascal adamant about celebrating it but NOT forcing it on the others (read: the pervasiveness of xmas on modern culture and media), and maybe jancaryn participates in a different way, and she and pascal explain it to the others, and while t and s don’t see the point, isaac (half elf half human) is down and willing to pay attention and learn for the sake of learning. the significance of What is drawn in the mud/sand/dirt can also come into play, like either they draw things that ARE temporary (money, food, objects basically) to remind themselves that it will all go away eventually, or things that are LESS temporary, more abstract and intangible (so loved ones, warm hearts and full tables, that sort of thing). i like the meaning behind the second one better, and obviously you’ll flesh it out more later, but it could be cute if they explain it to isaac while s and t are off on their own adventure (after making it abundantly clear that they aren’t disrespecting p and j’s culture by doing so), and then isaac draws all their faces super cartoony (think sok/ka drawing the gang in ava//tar, really poorly drawn), and pascal’s face just Lights On Fire, and jancaryn goes ‘honey no that’s, that’s not quite—never mind, you interpret it how you think best.’ obviously room to grow, things to fix up, but i really like this as a holiday. you do of course have to think up HOW this holiday came about, gained significance and notoriety, but the end result is really cute and endearing i think (make sure you aren’t belittling any existing religions or cultures in the process though)

how’s the food? what’s the significance of it? are there any dishes saved solely for celebrations/specific occasions? why? what are the common foods to each region/race? how do these clash, especially within the main squad? say jancaryn is vegetarian, would this butt up against, say, sixer’s ideals and core foods? is this a point of tension that whoever is involved has to work through? are there culture/race-specific foods that Taste Like Home? are there staple dishes for regions? does pascal miss out on this because of Obvious Reasons? does pascal get confused when eating a Human Celebration Staple because it tastes so familiar, and jancaryn has to gently explain to him the significance of the food to their culture? does this lead to jancaryn giving him a crash course in all things Human™️? does pascal try not to feel hurt/guilty that he doesn’t already know all these things? does he think he’s failing his own culture for the same reasons? does he try to avoid learning about his culture because Backstory Reasons, he doesn’t think he deserves to participate because he wasn’t raised as part of That Culture? does he hesitate to call it His Culture?

how do cultures in general clash among the squad? i mean, you’ve got a [tabaxi] ghost, two humans, a dragonborn, and a half elf, so obviously there’ll be some cultural differences, so how carefully do they need to step around each other? work out if there’s any history of conflict between, say, half elves and tabaxi, and whether that will become evident in their interactions - maybe the half elves were the antagonists, so isaac feels bad and is constantly deferring to tanra’s opinions and decisions, which annoys tanra to no end because they just want to move past it, or something like that - there’s a lot of ways to do this sort of conflict, but make sure you tread carefully, because there’s also a lot of ways to Mess Up this sort of conflict and come across as offensive

obviously humans need food water shelter air, but how does this change for the other races? what are their priorities? preferences? are any of them traditionally nocturnal? this is gonna be a little different in tanra’s case, but you should still work it out - even though they’re a ghost, habits are hard to break, so maybe they still instinctually look for a below ground cave or thicket of bushes when bunkering down for the night (for example, just broadly thinking of what a tabaxi might do). specifically, for tanra at least, you’re gonna want to figure out a [tabaxi]’s habits and preferences, then filter that through the lens of Technically Tanra Doesn’t Really Have To Worry About That Anymore

more on tanra, but ghosts are normally expected to have a way to Move On To The Next World or whatever in a lot of fiction. is tanra trying to move on? do they HAVE to? do they even want to? do they know that’s an option? do the others know it’s an option? if it is, what are the requirements? presumably it won’t be possible for them to Come Back to this plane once they move on, is everyone aware of that? since they’re functionally already dead, would them Moving On at the end be like a sort of character death? would that then be a mockery of a non-binary character? that is, pascal is trans and jancaryn is also non-binary and they’re both human, but does that make it okay to ‘kill off’ (so to speak) one of the main non-binary characters? the ratio left behind would be 1 trans dude, 1 non-binary girl, 1 [unstated] girl, and 1 [unstated] boy, but that’s still a Yikes to be killing a non-binary character - you could switch tanra to be Not non-binary, or maybe Everybody is non-cis, but this in general is a rough and rocky situation to deal with, so definitely get Multiple Trustworthy Opinions before you go around destroying everything (not to mention that like. you really don’t Have To have tanra move on. they could meet all the requirements and you build up to what should be a tearful goodbye and they’re like ‘wtf y’all i’m not moving on’ and everyone is just ‘??’ and tanra goes ‘my parents left me to die in a castle, everyone i know has presumably been dead for [thousands??] of years, i’m closer with you four than i ever was with any of them, so why would i go be permanently dead and unhappy over there when i can be kind of unalive not dead and considerably happy over here?’ situation. i don’t know. we’ll get there later, obviously it needs some work, but i kind of actually really like that chunk you just spat. so.)

sixer. my gORL. she doesn’t have enough exposition yet for obvious reasons but i feel lonely for her so sixer here’s a paragraph for u bb i lov u. work out the appearance and attitude. her motif is red, her season is fall, her whole deal is obviously fire, so does she like that or hate it? is it a stereotype to be a fiery dragonborn? does she try to rebel against it, try to immerse herself in water and get frustrated when it evaporates? what’s her deal with pascal and their kinda sorta antagonistic vibes with each other vis-a-vis the tavern scene in j’s town? is that an arc that needs to be resolved or just bad writing? an arc would be better, because you’ve kind of had her go stiff since finding out pascal is trans, but that’s bullshit because you deleted transphobia in this world (and pascal isn’t supposed to have told anyone besides isaac anyway so. go back and fix that lmao). maybe they butt up against each other just by virtue of their personalities, which i think you did really well demonstrating in the castle basement, like that whole scene just completely nailed their whole dynamic in one go which i LOVE. you need to do more of that, have them both kind of pushing back against each other, and at the beginning it’s maybe a little more on the antagonistic side, until it grows to a head and they’re forced to confront their issues with each other (and uh lab this is Your Job to figure out what those issues even are, especially before you go tying them in to this whole situation). from their it can be a sort of decrease down into still pushing back on each other, but now it’s more like friendly competition (and maybe more Serious Competition than isaac would prefer but at least they aren’t at each other’s throats anymore... much), so they’re making each other better in the process, and you still get to have that sort of clash between them the whole way through (this meaning that part of sixer’s arc and part of pascal’s arc coincide, since they both grow from and around this situation, so you NEED to make sure you resolve this if you end up including it)

#long post #long post tw #usk #usk talkativity #usk logistics #usk disaster gays #usk pascal #usk isaac #usk jancaryn #usk tanra #usk sixer #wow this got. Long #damnb #guess we just got a lot to say

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bewitchthequeen · 7 years

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Nathan’s Sin Counter Since He’s The Only thing I Didn’t Like About Haven

Note: If you like Nathan or Naudrey/Pancakes and don’t care to hear counter opinions and that makes you aggressive and mean then this isn’t something you’re interested in, I’m going to have to ask you to move along :D I’m entitled to my opinions as you are yours. Any aggression targeted at me because I don’t ship what you ship or like who you like will be treated with demeaning responses.

You have been warned.

Side Note: I have nothing against the actors or writers. These are my opinions that I’m entitled to.

If you have anything to include, feel free to add your own thoughts.

I’m putting this under a Read More so people who don’t want to see this doesn’t have to.

Warning: This contains spoilers so if you haven’t finished this show, I would recommend not reading this.

So let’s get this thing started

1. He only started showing interest in Audrey after he found out that he could feel her. That’s never a good start to a relationship. Like I’ve seen relationships where only one person can talk to or see them and stuff like that and it always makes me want to roll my eyes. It seems like such a superficial relationship. An “oh, well, this is the only person that can (blank) so I might as well because I won’t find anyone else otherwise”. This kind of thing is weak to develop a relationship on unless you know they help them overcome what other people couldn’t (blank) for them. Then build a relationship on that.

2. Nathan treated Duke like shit, especially after the whole feelings for Audrey thing. I get that he had bad blood with Duke prior but he was pulling that whole “stay away from her” bullshit and it’s like?? Dude, she lives above his restaurant so kindly go fuck yourself. Then aside from that there was the whole thing about his dad going around all murder-y because of his trouble. I’m just like ??? Okay, just because your parent is a murder doesn’t mean you’re going to be one. That’s like saying just because your parents like one type of music means that you’re going to like it. My father has yet to like anything on the top 50s in, at least, the last 17 years. Nathan treats whoever he wants like shit and I’m??? expected to like him?

3. Nathan sleeping with Sarah is bullshit. If anything, that proves that his love for Audrey is superficial. Like you’ve barely been there a day and you’re already jumping to screw her. (This also makes me feel bad for Mara because someone else took control of her body and did that. We don’t have a word for that but that sounds gross and sketchy when you think about it). Fuck you, and your high and mighty act. This absolutely disgusts me.

4. Many times that Nathan should have died and yet he miraculously survived and came back. Honestly, me caring about his death was at the point that it only hurt me because it hurt Audrey. Remember when he died in season 3? Yeah, I didn’t care.

5. Nathan was a huge dick to Jordan but I’m suppose to hate her. Honestly, my dislike from her comes from her treatment of Audrey and Duke. Honestly, Nathan deserved whatever Jordan wanted to do to him. But Jordan never got “justice” or her fair treatment. She got murdered.

6. Beginning scene of 3x13 when Audrey is missing. Nathan said they were probably looking for the barn and then when Duke mentioned that the troubles would be gone, Nathan freaks out on Duke about Audrey rather than the solution. Yes, losing someone you care about hurts, but when it comes to the possible destruction of the town over someone you met how many months ago and are “in love” with, he’s willing to let everyone else suffer it seems. Duke hates his trouble. Duke doesn’t want it and he’s seen other people suffer. He knows what it turned his family into. Nathan only cares about losing Audrey. Not anyone else. Not all the suffering other people will have to go through if she chooses to stay. Whoever didn’t die in the meteor storm, would still be troubled and people would die because a temporary fix at the end of the day... Is a temporary fix.

7. Audrey went to go say bye to Duke before she went to Nathan. I’m just saying this because this is my middle finger to Nathan. And she said she’d be sorry that she wouldn’t remember Colorado so gafuck yourself.

8. “I’m going to die before I let you go” That’s an actual quote to. This isn’t romantic. This is forceful and sounds like something an abusive person says to their spouse. This concerned the fuck out of me. This also kind of disrespects her decision. Like he’s taking away her freedom to chose.You can’t go without me. You either go with me or I’ll let the town be destroyed is what he was essentially saying.

9. Audrey seriously had to have Duke hold him at gunpoint. To keep him from doing something stupid like go after her, he had to be held at gunpoint. This is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Honestly, if someone makes the choice to sacrifice themselves for a town for other people how can you take that choice away from them? And it’s not like she’s dying either. She’s essentially going away for twenty-seven years. I mean, Audrey’s side, I understand, but he was willing to sleep with Sarah, but now he’s all butthurt about her going away for twenty-seven years. Shut the fuck up.

10. “We’re not letting her go in” Again, sounding like a controlling and abusive asshole. SHE’S A GROWN FUCKING WOMAN. SHE CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL SHE WANTS AND YOU SHOULD FUCKING RESPECT THAT DECISION. Honestly, I would have rather had Duke and Audrey because at least he fucking respects her enough to let her make her own decisions (I’m getting a strange flashback of Team Damon vs. Team Stefan... Weird). Oh, and if you didn’t know, Nathan is Damon and Duke is Stefan in this scenario. Duke even states that and I quote, “... She’s trying to help all these people, she is trying to help this town, and it’s her choice. It’s not yours. It’s not mine. I hate it, but it’s still her choice” Anyways, Nathan talking like this makes me feel like we’re throwing romance back to like the 1700s or further when women were still treated like property. Even after Duke says this, he references Audrey as property saying “How can you let her go?” Then he punches Duke in the face and demands that she stops. To which, makes her run into the barn faster. He simply can’t respect her choice. She literally runs away from him and into the barn. He makes it seem like it’s not her choice. Like people are dragging her kicking and screaming into the barn, but no. He’s being a possessive and controlling asshole and people just ate it up.

11. Nathan then shoots Howard. Out of a choice that Audrey made. Jordan tried to stop him, but since he can’t feel pain, it wasn’t effective. He shoots Howard to death and the barn starts to collapse in on itself. Only reason Nathan doesn’t die here, is because Duke shoots Jordan. Honestly, with what he did, I think Nathan would have deserved to die right here to and it probably would have been better for the show, but, nah. Back to the barn collapsing, while Duke shows concern for the meteors still pounding Haven, seemingly going to wipe it off the map, Nathan encourages Duke to go after Audrey (again showing no concern for anyone else other than Audrey). Then, he tries to crawl through the diminishing portal left of the barn after Duke jumps through (which is stupid because why encourage Duke to go after her if you’re just going to go and try to do it yourself) but whatever. Nathan is a mountain of headache that I don’t want to touch (and yet here I am).

12. The last words that Nathan says of that episode are Audrey’s name. Not for his son, not for the friend he just sent after in a collapsing gateway to no man’s land, not for the man he just killed, not even for the town he essentially (almost) destroyed. Nope. Only cares about Audrey and it’s bullshit.

13. Earlier in that season finale, Nathan tells Howard he’s not taking Audrey. I actually laughed at this because Nathan is so stupid that he actually thinks that he could stop Howard from doing that. I mean, yes, Howard died, but Audrey still went into the Barn even though what Nathan did to Howard made her sacrifice useless.

14. The first time we see Nathan in season 4, he’s shown feeling sorry for himself by getting paid by letting people beat the shit out of him. Honestly, this scene made me want to scream and tear my hair out. You lose Audrey and your whole world is shattered and shaken at the core. Don’t try to tell me it’s because he lost Duke, too, because they’re “friends”. He rarely shows any kind of compassion towards Duke so you explain to me how they’re friends. Please.

15. “I was trying to save Audrey, instead I thought I killed her. I though I killed you, killed James”. Save her from what?! It was her decision to go in and you fucking took that away from her. Whoever thinks this shit isn’t toxic needs an MRI. There’s nothing romantic about taking away someone’s freedom of choice. You weren’t trying to save anyone. You were thinking solely about yourself. And please don’t act for a second like you care about Duke, because everyone knows you don’t. The only person you care about is Audrey and it’s incredibly sickening.

16. He doesn’t have any friends. I have to put this on here because that’s probably why he’s so far up Audrey’s ass chute. Honestly, Nathan makes me want to spit all the fire always. He’s devolved (not developed, devolved) into a fucking parasite. He’s a Damon Salvatore without the murderous bad boy vibe. He’s a Killian Jones/Captain Hook without the dirty pirate thing. He’s a disgusting person to be in a relationship with. I guarantee you that he’s probably going to turn out just like his biological father since he never fucking stops. He is always this controlling. He is always this obsessed. It’s quite literally terrifying. These three people have the HUGEST warning signs smacked right on their foreheads and yet everyone seems to be cool with it. And yet guess what? None of these people have any friends. Okay, you could argue Damon has at least Bonnie and Alaric, fine. Nathan and Killian/Hook do not. Hook straight up had to ask his “fiancee’s” son who doesn’t fucking like him to be his best man. Because he doesn’t have any friends. If someone doesn’t have any friends, whatsoever, you need to fucking run away from that person as a romantic partner because that just means that person is more likely to be a parasite who’s going to suck the life and personality out of you. Listen people, Obsession is not love. Nathan, Damon, and Killian/Hook have another thing in common besides their controlling nature. They are obsessed with this girls. They do not love them.

As Gaia from The Almighty Johnsons once said, “Love is not fucking suffocating someone to death”

With that being said I’ve decided to cut this short..ish. I’m going to be doing more on Nathan in a bigger post so stay turned for that!

#anti nathan wuornos #anti naudrey #havensyfy #haven maine #a little anti damon salvatore #a little bit anti captain hook #anti list #anti #obsession is not love

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comic-movieheroesranked · 7 years

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Cinematic Comic Characters Ranked! (Year 2004) Final Part

After two consecutive years of multiple Comic movies, 2004 took it a bit slow with only five movie releases. Blade returns one last time in Blade: Trinity as well as Spider-Man in Spider-Man 2! We also get a spin on two cult classics with AVP: Alien vs Predator. Finally we also get the debut of two comic characters in Hellboy and Catwoman. Here is our TOP 20!

*SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ALL HIGHLIGHTED MOVIES ABOVE*

20. Drake (Blade: Trinity)

"Kill one man, you're a murderer, kill a million, you're a king. Kill them all, a God."

You know Blade's a badass when Dracula changes his name to Drake just to try to keep up with Blade's coolness. He's the ultimate vampire, yet I thought he was very lackluster (like most villains, honestly). I'm sorry but you're not intimidating if you have to use a baby as leverage on what should be a one on one fight. When the showdown between the two does actually happen, Blade ends up winning to no one's surprise. Not even Drake's, who respects him so much he even helps him out after his death.

19. Kroenen (Hellboy)

*creepy laugh*

So was this guy a zombie made of sand? Because without the armor he looked like a zombie. And he was a zombie who knows how to work a blade. It was guaranteed in the movie that whoever was around when this dude showed up was going to die. He even took on six security guards, killing two of them with their own bullets. Of course I had to hate him when he killed Professor Broom and of course I cheered when Hellboy finally finished him off (I'd also like to point out that Hellboy believes in double tap). I thought this guy was emotionless but right before he dies he starts this evil laugh that's almost chilling. He was easily my favorite to watch die via Mortal Kombat dungeon spikes.

18. Liz Sherman (Hellboy)

"Red, white, whatever. Guys are all the same."

Since she was a young girl Liz has been cursed with the ability to create and control-I use that term lightly-fire. She doesn't quite have a handle on it and seems she can only let it loose after experiencing traumatic memories or being physically hurt. Her destructive fires have wiped out a bunch of kids who totally deserved it and an entire psychiatric ward that totally didn't deserve it. She spent most of her life with the government and wants desperately to be in the real world living a normal life. It's one of the reasons why I think she can't return Hellboy's feelings for her, because she connects him with the facility she wants to run away from. In the end, after she destroys all the hellhounds and Hellboy saves her life, the two finally confess their feelings and share a passionate kiss that literally erupts them into flames.

17. Mary Jane Watson (Spider-Man 2)

"Isn't it about time someone saved your life?"

I just felt so bad for Mary Jane in this movie. Granted, she's doing better career-wise but she's just so in love with Peter and just doesn't understand why he won't be with her when he loves her too. She tries to move on with John, who's like the definition of a good guy, but he's not Peter so we all know how that story ends. I just didn't expect her to be so savage and leave him at the alter SMILING the entire time! I'm just glad that her and Peter are officially starting something because honestly she was already getting caught in Spider-Man's battles so might as well fill her in as to why that is.

16. Whistler (Blade: Trinity)

"Get out, Blade!"

There's a reason why Whistler is the only other character besides Blade to be in every single movie in the trilogy. He's the perfect partner. He knows that it's all about the mission and is willing to do whatever it takes to make sure Blade is successful. His only problem? Dude's getting old and slow. Man it was hard watching him go down when police came in locked and loaded, but I respect that he was still able to destroy all the evidence with every last breath he took. Even after death he made sure Blade was taken care of, because Blade WAS his son I don't care what anyone says.

15. Sebastian de Rosa (Alien vs Predator)

"Only the chosen ones may enter."

The Italian that just kept sending romantic vibes to Alexa through the whole movie. He's also the only one who seems to figure out everything that's going on thanks to his background in ancient civilizations. This doesn't save him from being alien cattle, though, and Alexa is forced to kill him when it's discovered an alien has already grown inside him.

14. Alien Queen (Alien vs Predator)

*Alien screech*

If the Alien Queen wasn't designed to literally kill everything that lives, I might've felt sorry for her. The ancient civilization that worshiped the Predators basically had her chained up so she could do one job: lay alien eggs. She gets tired of this, however, and has her children attack her so her acid blood can break her free. She then fights Alexa and the last Predator to escape to the surface but ends up being dragged into the sea where she instantly freezes in the Antarctic weather.

13. Tom Lone (Catwoman)

"Sorry, lady. I'm taken."

What's cute about Tom is he's already swerving other women when he's only been on like, one date with Patience. Granted, the other woman turned out to be Patience but it's still a sweet gesture. Tom's job as a cop makes things really complicated when he finds out Patience is really Catwoman because now he's struggling on whether or not to bring her to justice (this lowkey makes him Batman). He decides to trust his heart and ends up helping her clear her name and bring the right person to justice. Too bad at the end he just gets a note for a goodbye.

12. John Myers (Hellboy)

"My uncle used to say that we like people for their qualities but love them for their defects."

The new guy! Professor Broom hires John straight out of college to look after Hellboy, even if the other male doesn't think he needs watching. Most of his duties consist of cooking Hellboy huge amounts of pasta and pancakes as well as look after his army of kittens, but when the occasional demon comes around he also helps out with that. Its revealed that Professor Broom hired him because he's dying and needs someone to look after Hellboy when he's gone. How does he do this? BY GOING AFTER HELLBOY'S GIRL! Ok so she's not really his girl, which is why I don't blame her at all for going on the date with him because she's her own person and is allowed to do what she wants but John was foul! He knew Hellboy was crazy about her and tried to get with her anyways! At least he didn't get upset when Liz decides to be Hellboy instead.

11. Hannibal King (Blade: Trinity)

"It's in the meat of my butt, just below my Hello Kitty tattoo."

Who knew Ryan Reynolds would star as Deadpool five years before he was officially cast as the merc with a mouth in the first Wolverine solo film. But really Hannibal King is exactly what I fear Deadpool would be if he was in movie with any other super-hero character. He was extremely annoying, half the time I wanted Blade to just slap the shit out of him every time he opened his mouth. It was like he had a serious case of word vomit. Him being the comedic relief was a tad bit overdone and no, him being shirtless didn't lessen the blow at all. At least we saw him go up against three vampire dogs.

10. Patience Phillips/Catwoman (Catwoman)

"Cats come when they feel like it. Not when they're told."

Let's start this off by saying that Patience Phillips is literally one of the most annoying characters ever. Where's Selina Kyle? Like why'd that change? Was it because Halle Berry's black? Because that's such a cop out. Despite the horrible movie, I actually really liked Halle Berry once she was in the cat suit. She had her strut, she delivered those lines, and looked so visually stunning it's like she came out the comic book. Too bad the movie wastes her potential with useless scenes at a basketball court, dealing with loud neighbors, and doing a random ass BDSM dance at a night club.

9. Abigail Whistler (Blade: Trinity)

"Scream if this hurts, chica!"

Whistler's daughter out of wedlock ended up not falling far from the tree and caught the vampire hunting bug at a young age. She didn't let her father's rejection stop her and joined a team of hunters that helped Blade take down the main vamp, Drake (aka Dracula). She's got killer aim with a bow and is bound to get even more bad ass with Blade basically taking her under his wing like her father did with him.

8. Predators (Alien vs Predator)

*Predator clicking*

Three young Predators show up to Earth to slay a bunch of aliens as of rite of passage into manhood (Womanhood? You can't really tell if there's different genders with them). To do this they trick a bunch of humans to show up so that the aliens can breed the Predator's perfect prey. Two of them go down pretty fast, to the very first alien they come across. One was killed instantly while the other put up a really bad ass fight before falling victim to the same alien. The lone survivor proved to be the more superior out of the three because it's taking down humans and aliens left and right. It teams up with Alexa to take on the big Alien Queen. They're successful, but the Predator dies in the process. It's clan, who was just watching the entire time, appears to take it's body away, not knowing there's an alien-predator hybrid growing inside it ready to come out wreck havoc on their ship.

7. Professor Broom (Hellboy)

"I already know what to call him. I call him 'son.'"

Professor Broom is my dad too, I don't care what anyone says. The fact that he was the only one who saw Hellboy as a baby when they first discovered him and not some red ape they needed to kill really shows what a caring man he is. He raises Hellboy as a son and nothing more. He grounds him, lectures him, and Hellboy knows better than to be caught smoking around him. I thought we were going to lose him because of his sickness, but he ends up getting murdered by Kroenen, although he goes out with the highest class.

6. Dr. Otto Octavius/Doc Ock (Spider-Man 2)

"I will not die a monster!"

One thing the first two movies of Spider-Man did that were really successful were their villains. Once again we have a man with a brilliant mind but this time wants to use it for the greater good of mankind. Dr. Octavius turns into a villain after loses everything he worked and cared for and ends up being controlled by his technical tentacles. His fight scene with Spider-Man on the train was one of the best fight scenes I've seen in a movie, too. I'm glad he went back to his core values, even if he had to sacrifice himself to do it.

5. Abe Sapien (Hellboy)

"If there's trouble, all us freaks have is each other."

Abe was probably my favorite out of the trio of 'freaks'. He was an aquatic humanoid with the ability to know everything about a person or object just by touching them. Looking passed his obsession of rotten eggs, Abe proved to be a very important member of the team. While Hellboy did all the ass kicking, Abe made sure Hellboy knew everything about the thing getting the ass kicking. He's not a fighter, which is proven when he's severely injured by one of the hell hounds. Healing his wound takes him out of the main fight but it doesn't stop him from giving advice to his friends when they need it.

4. Alexa Woods (Alien vs Predator)

"To restore order, the guards need their guns."

Wow it was so obvious that Alexa was going to be the only human to survive this temple full of aliens and predators alike. Probably because she was the only one who didn't actually want to go because of how dangerous it was. She knew how to handle every situation and learned quickly that in order to stop the aliens from reaching the surface, she would need help from the Predators. After she kills her first alien, the last remaining Predator deems her worthy and the two team up to take down the Alien Queen. When the Predator's clan shows up, they let keep her badass sword and alien-head shield. I, personally, would have wanted a ride since the nearest town is a thousand miles away though I'm sure Alexa would figure it out just fine.

3. Blade (Blade: Trinity)

"I was born ready motherfucker!"

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Blade is the ultimate badass! Literally everyone in every single movie of the trilogy got hella worried once they realized they were going up against him. He is the ultimate nightmare of all vampires. In his last mission we see him turn into the mentor as he takes up Whistler's daughter and her team to take on Drake. Of course he's successful because he's a badass and that's what baddasses do. But seriously I could just hear him say motherfucker the entire movie if I could, but I get that the script had to be a little more complex than that. Even though the movie wasn't my favorite, Weslet Snipes definitely ended his time with this iconic character on a very high note.

2. Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Spider-Man 2)

"Sometimes to do what's right we must be steady and give up the things we desire the most."

Our favorite neighborhood Spider-Man is back! Peter is going through a life bump two years after he first becomes Spider-Man. He's broke, struggling in class, and damaging his already fragile relationships. The main reason for all this is because he's putting his responsibilities as Spider-Man before anything else and it starts to take a toll on him. I can't blame him for wanting to quit, it's not easy for someone to give up everything they care about for a cause they didn't really ask to be responsible for. Except, he kinda did. No one forced him to become Spider-Man either so I'm glad he got out of the no-power funk he was in and went back to making the streets of New York safer. And because he went through all of this, he was able to help Dr. Octavius get his morality back, which is something you don't see a lot in the grand dynamics of hero vs villain.

1. Hellboy (Hellboy)

"Second date, no tongue!"

He's big, he's sassy, and he's one of the pettiest people that's ever graced a comic book. Hellboy is exactly what his name is: a boy that came from hell. Granted he's a man now but Hellman doesn't exactly have the same ring to it. What's not to love about Hellboy? He has the best one liners, goes through all the teenage insecurities of liking someone that we all went through, and has a deep passion for kittens. Anyone who is willing to risk their life for a kitten is a hero in my eyes. The main struggle Hellboy has during the movie is fighting the demon he is 'destined' to be. He files down his horns and tries desperately to fit in with society, even if his main reason is so he could finally by with Liz. In the end, after losing his father, Hellboy leads the team to stop Rasputin from ending the world. And he's able to accomplish that by making the choice to not be what's expected of him. To not be a hell demon that will bring about the end of the world. After ending Rasputin and his plans Hellboy goes back to the indestructible badass we all know and love and finally gets to kiss Liz.

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pinqan · 7 years

Text

• A TIRED SLEEP CAN’T FIX

I was fifteen when I took my first dose of Ecstasy, with a girl. No, like — it made me fall for her, and I’m pretty sure it made me fall for a drug that flooded my brain with a Burning-Man’s-worth of dazes and hallucinations.

It’s just what Oxytocin does, it’s like your fairy godmother that can only be summoned by hardcore chemical man-made drugs. Good shit, in my opinion.

Only months before that, I’d done 2CB. A hallucinogen that wasn’t technically illegal at the time. Of course, it was banned and the whole supply dried out. I was scared; I mean E was already illegal, and I knew there was no guarantee that the feds wouldn’t bust whoever was making it for my state. I wasn’t willing to live in a world where I couldn’t roll my balls off a cliff at a moment’s notice.

That’s a saying somewhere, okay? Fuck off.

Henceforth, I moved to South Korea. The one place I could kind of call home, and a perfect place to go against the law considering it’s so goddamn premature. Mom said it’d work out somehow, plenty of jobs and opportunities, blah blah blah. A friend of mine gave me some advice while I was a dishwasher for a university, that you could use nutmeg to get high. It’s legit. I googled it. Nutmeg contains a psychoactive chemical called myristicin, but it’s also about 2 percent safrole. Safrole happens to be one of the main reagents for MDMA (and bingo, ecstasy).

I resolved to learn how to make it - mostly out of pure curiosity rather than criminal intent. I figure a lot of the weird kids get into this business because they love drugs and fall down the rabbit hole of studying how all these wacky chemicals affect their brains. One thing leads to another and then, that’s just it, you’re committing felonies as if you were in Grand Theft Auto.

My main problem, though, was the price. I added it up, and it’d take more than $2,000 (about 2,400,000 ₩) to buy what I needed. So far, I had two things going for me: a minimum wage job and a morphine habit. Not like anybody was cashing out a 401k to fund a drug hobby.

I went to the grocery store one day, as people do. I was most likely bordering on sober when I ran into a friend I’d known for years back in Japan. I’d just started studying chemistry, and I was just lipping about my plans and not really thinking straight. I gave out that I didn’t have the cash for this start-up, I don’t think I even had a tenth of what I needed. He didn’t even say anything besides, “I’ve got somebody you should meet.” And then, I ended up agreeing with him to set up a dinner.

He and I met with these guys who didn’t give off the right or the wrong impression. The neutral type, no personalities, suits that cost more than my XBox and Playstation combined and tripled. I’ll be referring to them simply as “the bad boys” from here on out, because I don’t think all of them wound up in prison yet and it’s probably best to not be all that specific given my current situation.

They asked me, so I answered. I walked them through what I’d need. One took notes and the other checked the list with some other cooks, and he went through his little process of seeing if it was legit enough. Days later they came back at like, two in the morning, and offered to shotgun me what seemed like a shit-ton of money. It didn’t take me long to find out they were big into the cocaine trade, and the few grand they were throwing my way might as well have been couch change to them, but at the time, I felt pretty fucking important.

The bad boys put me to an oath and to this very day, I don’t know why they’re called Cottonmouth. I assumed it was like the snake but our trademark is a fucking flower. Whatever, I guess I’m an actual part of it.

So, I rented a small house in the outskirts of the capital and started putting my lab together. I bought the best equipment I could and I went as far as anyone would go if a bunch of rich dudes offered to fund your happy little hobby. Whenever I ran out of money, I went back to the bosses and said, “I need more.” I wound up buying a condenser that cost two grand alone. I bought a brand new Toyota (don't ask how I got my license, because I didn't) and I built my own sandbox, completely filled with everything I’d ever want. I even had the stuff to start assembling a gas chromatograph. Basically, the Charizard of drug chemistry.

It was really hard to get sassafras oil for the E, so I started with a small bit – just five grams of safrole – in case I completely fucked it up. I had a few issues, I won’t go into detail but I wound up going to the Honeycomb (a forum full of drug chemists) and after asking some questions it finally worked. I wound up with about 2.5 grams of MDMA; enough for ten or fifteen normal doses, or five crazy-ass-teenage-raver doses.

But I was worried about using it or selling it, seriously. The final bit involved elemental aluminum as a reducing catalyst— and to get the aluminum oxide off the aluminum, you have to use mercury. You put the mercury into the reaction vessel, and you clear it out with sodium hydroxide.

It was a first for me so I wasn’t sure if I’d done it right, and since I’d used powdered mercury, it literally ended up without reaction. Practically invisible, so I had to take it on my faith that I’d gotten the poison out.

Drug cooks don’t exactly hold an elevated position in society, if you haven’t noticed. Some of you might even think I’m a terrible person for getting involved in this at all. Not like you’d tell at a first glance, I mean — I’ll tell you that I haven’t been sleeping well and you’d believe that’s why I look so shitty. But I got into making drugs because I’d had so many good times on drugs. I wasn’t about to take the risk that the chemicals I made might hurt people. I had to find some way to test this stuff before I got distributions going.

Now, mind you and your manners before you keep reading – I had no other fucking choice. I wasn’t about to die because I willingly ingested mercury.

I took a rat, gave it a small dose and it lived whilst staggering out of the experience with a whole new appreciation for Bulgarian electronic music. The agenda called for a typical move, I tried it on myself with 10 mg. Then I increased the doses, little by little.

And it fucking worked.

I called my friend over and I ran into my yard, jumping up and down with overcoming fascination by what we had done, what we were capable of doing, and what we’d end up doing.

We were also probably on E, now that I think about it.

Listen, I got obsessed with the pure chemistry. I started plugging out things I knew that there was no market for – the 2CH, a few different mescaline compounds. These drugs weren’t exactly economical (a high dose for a reaction put the demand down low), but my friends wanted to try them, so I made a lot of experimental shit and gave it away. The most horrifying thing I wound up making was called DOB. It’s an incredibly powerful chemical, active at 1-3 mg. For reference, a small hit of Ecstasy is 100 times that size.

I ended up destroying it, because I didn’t really want to take it and having anything that powerful is terrifying. Imagine if I’d sneezed on the pile or something – a bit of that stuff gets in your nose, and you’re hallucinating for days. Unlike Acid, it’s got a low LD50, so a high enough accidental dose could have killed me.

I was also a bit reckless (what a surprise) particularly with the dichloromethane. A fairly common solvent, but back then, I wasn’t aware of how dangerous chlorohydrocarbons could be. It evaporates fast, and because I was a lazy teenage drug addict, I wounded up leaving it out. It got into my little breathing bubble and, well, I’m pretty sure I’m color blind. I found out later that these are classic symptoms of chlorohydrocarbon inhalation.

Not the end of the world, could’ve been worse.

Eventually I started making MDA. Basically a faster, off-brand version of ecstasy. You can go from safrole to MDA in just five hours if you use a dangerous reagent named tetranitromethane (TNM). It’s more explosive than TNT and it is unstable. I had to make this shit behind a blast shield, I kid you not. Safe temperature range was around 160 degrees Celsius. If the temperature went up slowly, you chuck ice on it as much as possible. If the temperature jumped abruptly, you run like hell, and maybe try to time your slow motion jump with the resulting house explosion.

But the bosses were big into coke, supplying endless kilos of the stuff. I was only one cook out of ten, or something. They were reckless about it, it’s a common trait with the people I associate myself with. They own a restaurant for money laundering, and it’s just so obvious to anyone who came around that no one actually went in there to eat. And if you did, you had no idea what the fuck you were surrounded by. People would go in for 15 minutes and walk out with no food. And this restaurant is doing $500,000 a year? More? Right, let’s just walk out of a restaurant with less than eight pounds of to-go boxes.

Not that I’m complaining about their unrealistic process. Sometimes I get half the money from their profit. That’s a pretty big cut, but the amount doesn’t really matter. It’s all dirty money. You can’t buy a car with it, you can’t waltz into a bank and put it in an account, and you certainly can’t save up and buy a house. So I go out every day and buy game systems, any game that sounded even remotely interesting (even Ubisoft – I’m so serious), groceries, and clothing. As long as it was under $500, no one cared that you paid in cash. I just have to look the part.

I got dark circles, I’d like to call myself seemingly good looking with a charming smile, I make sure I work out every morning, I meet a few girls every so often, I barely brush my hair and people actually like it; I could go on.

But boiled down : I’m a drug cook, I’m twenty-two, and I’m as realistic as unrealistic can get.

#✧*. danny | words ` tongue as bitter as arugula and as sharp as a plastic knife #tw: drug use #tw: drugs

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