#this is such a stupid rant but it's been bothering me for a while. I've seen it A LOT

[darkspace7]

Y'all, people need to leave libraries and archives (be they digital or non) the fuck alone.

I swear to every diety that is holy and not if ya'll continue to fuck around y'ain't gonna like the part where you find out.

#DS7's Log #I've been saying this for a while but #if you remove people's “circuses” they're gonna start noticing the bread's all gone. #If you take away the light of knowledge then all that remains is the suffocating dark of ignorance. #Just...argh the stupidity of greed vexes me to no end sometimes. #I truly do love this world but sometimes (a lot of times) #I wanna smack y'all upside the head for all the dumb 'we could've avoided this bullshit' #(see: -Broad Gestures- Florida. And those jerks bothering the Internet Archive and basically everywhere else.) #As an amature writer makes me just want to be /so/ salty and petty. #personal vent #sorry for the rant

[buckymorelikefuckme]

cry baby

bucky barnes x fem reader

words: 7.3k

warnings: **18+ ONLY** smüt, ed*ging, overstimulation, crying during s*ex, mentions of flushed cheeks, friends to lovers, misunderstandings, lapslock.

a/n: this is arguably one of my absolute fave fics i've ever written. she is near and dear to my heart :') i've provided the link for ao3 if you prefer to read it there! it's originally posted in two parts but i've combined them here. any and all mistakes are mine. feedback is encouraged & appreciated ♡

“the boys are running late,” natasha informs you when you make your way to the table she’s conquered in the busy cafe. “sam texted a couple minutes ago and said he and bucky got stuck in traffic.”

it’s the second tuesday of the month, which means it’s brunch day. it’s a running tradition that’s stood for the four of you since your college days. the time and place has changed over the years, but everyone does their absolute best to attend every time. these tuesdays are your favorite, naturally.

you plop into an empty chair across from her with a heavy sigh. “good, that means i have time to bitch about how fucking horny i am before they get here.”

she snorts, taking a delicate sip of her latte. “what’s new?” she wonders sarcastically.

“you don’t understand,” you begin, leaning into the table, gripping the edge tightly. “it’s been months, and not like, a few, i mean it’s coming up on a year.”

natasha’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “a year? what about that guy you went on a few dates with a while back? didn’t anything happen with him?”

“no,” you grumble, sitting back in your chair and crossing your arms. you huff. “and even if something had happened, i doubt it would have been satisfying. i can probably count on one hand the amount of times sex has been even kinda pleasurable for me.”

“sounds like you’re picking shitty partners.”

you scowl. “i know that, but it’s not my fault. all these stupid men keep promising they’re gonna fuck me ten ways to sunday and not a single one of them can even get me to wednesday.”

natasha laughs. “you poor thing.”

“you’re really not helping me here,” you whine with a pitiful pout on your lips. “you are getting routine dickings, you have sam! i am not so lucky here.” you notice her attention flicks to somewhere behind you, but you’re not finished with your rant. “nat, i’m serious. all of my sex encounters are the equivalent of asking someone to scratch my back and then they scratch literally anywhere but the spot that itches. i want to be fucked so good that i cry, just—completely reduced to tears. is that too much to ask?”

nat is hiding her smile behind her hand, amusement painted across her sharp features. someone clears their throat behind you and you pinch the bridge of your nose. sam and bucky occupy the empty seats, sam next to natasha and bucky next to you. they’re both sporting wide grins, looking far too pleased about stumbling into this conversation.

sam opens his mouth, no doubt to make a smartass comment, but you cut him off before he can get a good inhale in.

“not a fucking word,” you grouse with a finger pointed in his direction.

he presses a hand to his chest, expression offended. “i would never make a joke about your truly tragic excuse of a sex life.”

bucky snickers quietly, but turns into a cough at your glare.

“i’ll murder you,” you promise.

“leave her alone, boys,” natasha says, rolling her eyes, though she’s visibly biting back her own laughter.

you huff, digging your wallet out of your purse. “i hate all of you,” you announce before getting up and going to stand in line to order.

bucky follows a moment later, coming to stand at your side and throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“that bad, huh?” he asks.

you don’t have to look at his face to know he’s probably smirking right now.

“fuck off,” you retort, not bothering to push his arm away since you know he’d only put it right back.

“aw, come on, don’t be like that,” he jests, “you know we just like to poke a little fun.”

you roll your eyes, throwing him an exasperated look. “yeah, but that was something only nat was supposed to hear. i hate talking about sex with you and sam because you two wouldn’t understand.”

“that’s not true,” bucky insists, which makes you roll your eyes again. “it’s not!”

“first of all, sam’s got natasha, so we both know they’re more than satisfied.” bucky tilts his head in acquiescence. “and you don’t have to worry about if you’re gonna have an orgasm when you hook up with somebody. men have it so easy.”

it’s probably not the best thing to talk about in line of a busy cafe (especially since you haven’t decided between a blueberry muffin or the ham and cheese croissant, and there’s only one person ahead of you now and you’d really rather not be discussing your lack of sex in front of an innocent barista) but it sort of feels good to get this off your chest, even if it’s to bucky.

“okay, definitely not true,” he replies with a frown. “i’m not always guaranteed an orgasm.”

you give him a skeptical glance. “i find that hard to believe.”

this time, it’s bucky who rolls his eyes. “whatever, whether or not i come when i have sex with someone isn’t what i was gonna talk about when i came over here.”

the person in front of you finishes their order and then you’re stepping up for your turn.

“hi, what can i get you today?” the young barista asks with a smile.

“a large mocha iced coffee with sweet cream and a blueberry muffin, please.” you pause, contemplating, then add, “and a ham and cheese croissant.”

if you can’t get fucked within an inch of your life then food will become your lover, you reason.

“just a black coffee for me, please,” bucky tells the girl, taking his wallet out of his back pocket and handing over his card to pay before you can stop him.

“i could’ve paid for mine,” you mumble.

“you also could just say thank you,” he replies with a short laugh as he ushers you to the side to wait for your order.

you pinch his hip, pouting. “thank you.”

“why does your gratitude come with violence?” he asks, rubbing the sore spot.

“you know how i am when people do nice things for me.”

“you should be used to it by now,” he points out.

“well, i’m not,” you huff. “anyway, what did you come over here to talk about then?”

bucky reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, uncharacteristically shy all the sudden. “uh, well. i dunno, i just thought… you know, since you’re not—i mean, not that you couldn’t be, just—you haven’t been, so maybe… fuck.”

“spit it out,” you say with a giggle, wondering what in the world’s got him so tongue-tied.

“why don’t you let me?” he blurts, averting his gaze immediately after.

you tilt your head in confusion. “let you what?”

he sighs heavily, working his jaw in frustration. “you know…” he begins, digging his thumbnail into a knick on the countertop in front of you. “let me fuck you until you cry.”

“what?”

just then, your order is called. bucky quickly grabs it and turns to make his way back to the table, but you grab his arm to stop him.

“i don’t think so, you come back here right now and explain yourself,” you demand.

his eyes lift heavenward. “it’s just an idea, okay?”

“bucky, you’re talking about crossing a huge line. you can’t just throw that out all willy nilly!”

“i know,” he replies earnestly. “and it’s not—“ he grimaces at the phrasing, “willy nilly. you’re one of my best friends. i wouldn’t jeopardize that for anything, and i wouldn’t offer this if i thought that it could. this is something that’s obviously affecting you negatively in your life and i’m willing to help. i trust you, and i’m pretty sure you trust me, yeah?”

“of course i trust you,” you say, frowning.

he shrugs. “so, then it’s just… a friend helping another friend.”

“you make it sound so simple,” you muse in wonder.

“think about it?” he implores.

you swallow roughly, biting the inside of your cheek. “fine. i’ll think about it.”

he nods and walks back over to the table where sam and natasha are waiting. you hesitate for only a split second before following.

needless to say, you’re distracted for the rest of brunch.

***

you: what even makes you think you could fuck me until i cry anyway?

it’s been nearly a week, and as much as you hate to admit it, you’re actually considering taking bucky’s offer. it’s all you can think about since he brought it up. you can’t lie, you’ve always thought bucky was attractive, but ever since you were gently but firmly placed in the friend category back in university, you never allowed yourself to think of there ever being more between the two of you. he’s a wonderful friend to have and you’d have been an idiot to pass it up. bucky is kind and generous and just enough of an asshole to keep things interesting without it being a problem.

but this… this has left you reeling. why would he make such an offer after only ever keeping things strictly friendly and platonic in your relationship? and more importantly, where does he get the confidence to think he could follow through?

bucky: experience?

you make a face at your phone, furiously typing your reply.

you: ew. do you realize how douchey that sounds?

bucky: well, it’s not douchey if it’s true.

you: says you

bucky: and a few other people :)

bucky: you’d know it too if you’d let me fuck you

you exhale harshly through your nose, tapping your foot on the floor anxiously, carefully thinking of what you should say next.

you: it’s apparently a tall request, and thus far, nobody’s been able to deliver. you can understand my skepticism…

bucky: if i don’t leave you shivering and twitching with aftershocks of pleasure, in a mess of sweat and come, and tears stained on your cheeks, then i will have failed you.

your thighs squeeze together at the mental image that brings you. jesus christ, if he’s half as good at fucking as he is dirty talking then he just might do as he’s promising.

bucky: so? what do you say? wanna give it a try?

biting your lip, you give yourself a moment to weigh the pros and cons in your mind one last time.

it doesn’t take you very long to make your decision.

you: okay. we’ll try.

***

it’s a slightly overcast sunday when bucky comes over with the direct intention to fuck you. it should be weird, but strangely, all you feel is anticipation. maybe it’s because you know him so well and know that, no matter what, he’d take care of you.

(or, maybe it’s because those repressed college-aged feelings are doing their best to resurface, even though you steadfastly continue to ignore them.)

you’d taken a thorough shower earlier to ease the little bit of nerves you had when you’d woken up. cleaning up the small mess your apartment gathered over the last couple weeks helped, as well, and soon you found yourself standing in front of your lingerie drawer with your lips pursed.

you weren’t sure if you should even bother with it, but it felt you wouldn’t be putting in any effort into this encounter if you didn’t at least pick out nice underwear. so, with a pleased nod, you settle on some simple black lace panties and a matching bralette. not too much, but enough to satisfy yourself, and hopefully bucky. you pick out a simple sundress to put on over it, since you won’t be wearing much of anything once bucky gets here. that thought has you flushing, but you ignore it to put on some makeup, just to freshen up your face.

by the time he knocks on your door, you’ve already finished a glass of wine and are pouring yourself a second.

he smiles when open the door, a bit boyishly, greeting you with a quiet, “hi.”

“hi,” you return, just as soft. you open the door wider. “come in.”

he walks passed you, stopping to toe his shoes off and hang his jacket on one of the hooks.

“do you want a glass of wine?” you ask as you head to the kitchen to retrieve your own from the counter.

bucky follows, stopping in the entryway with his hands in his pockets. “no, thank you.”

you nod, taking a sip from your glass, trying to figure out what to say. the air feels a little awkward and you’re not sure how to fix it.

“nervous?” he wonders curiously.

you shake your head. “not really.”

he quirks a brow. “then what’s wrong?”

“i don’t know,” you murmur. “i guess i’m just worried we’re making a mistake.”

he hums. you take a larger sip of your wine.

with cautious steps, he comes closer to you. “what if i promise that things won’t be weird after?”

“you can’t really promise that, though.”

“sure i can,” he says, smiling. “it’s me and you. we’ve been friends for so long. plenty of people have sex and stay friends after.”

you’re not just ‘people’ to me, you think.

you sigh, frustrated with yourself. you can’t deny how badly you want this. it’s all you’ve been able to think about since that day in the cafe. but the thought of losing bucky is heartbreaking, and you don’t want your stupid horniness to be the reason that you ruin a friendship, even if he was the one to offer sex.

“why don’t we go make out on the couch for a little while first?” he suggests after a moment’s pause.

you snort, in spite of your thoughts. “like a couple of teenagers?”

his eyes crinkle on the sides when he grins. “yeah. we’ll just see how we feel about that, and if it leads to more, then…” he trails off, shrugging.

“that’s not a bad idea,” you concede.

“great! finish your wine.”

you laugh and do as you’re told, downing the little remaining wine in one go, sitting the glass down on the counter resolutely as you swallow.

“let’s do this,” you say, determined.

bucky huffs a laugh, grabbing your wrist and tugging you behind him as he makes his way to the couch. he settles slightly facing you as you tuck your legs under you beside him.

“do you wanna talk, or do you want to jump straight into it?”

“if we talk anymore i’m gonna change my mind. just kiss me already, bucky.”

“yes ma’am,” he sasses before doing exactly that.

he cups your cheek with one hand as the other is placed on your knee. he guides your face to his and kisses you chastely. you’re not sure where to put your hands at first, but you tell yourself to quit being a goober about it and place them on either side of his neck, your thumbs brushing under his jaw.

it’s an okay kiss, you have to admit, but it’s not really doing anything for you yet. he has soft lips, softer than you thought they’d be. you’re beginning to wonder if maybe this confirms you shouldn’t go any further when he tilts his head, and… hm.

he parts his lips, taking your bottom one between his, kissing it, then nipping it. you wouldn’t say the sound you make is a gasp, necessarily, but it’s close. his tongue lightly caresses the seam of your mouth and you don’t even think before you open up for him, letting his tongue sweep in, flicking against yours. you hum, scooting a tiny bit closer to him, chasing the feeling. his kisses turn insistent then, teeth biting at your bottom lip and tugging, soothing the ache with his tongue. he kisses you like a man quenching his thirst, like you’re the best goddamn thing he’s ever tasted, and it’s leaving you dizzy. you sway more into his space and he pulls away from your mouth.

“c’mere,” he whispers, gripping behind one of your knees to drag it over his hips so you’re straddling him. “much better.”

you don’t have a chance to process anything about the moment, his mouth back on yours in a blink. your fingers wind themselves into his hair, getting a good grip on it as you lick into his mouth. he lets out a soft noise at that and you try your damnedest to pry it out of him again, pressing your chest to his so there’s not even a sliver of space left between you.

his hands travel, down the sides of your torso to your thighs, back up to your hips where he holds on tight. it doesn’t take long after that before you find yourself grinding into him. you both moan at the same time, breaking the kiss to pant for breath.

you swallow roughly. “okay,” you murmur, “i think it’s safe to say this could work.”

bucky laughs quietly. “yeah? wanna move to your bed then?”

your squeeze your thighs around him, shifting minutely on his lap and feeling the beginnings of his erection beneath you. “yes,” you breathe.

quickly, you rise from your position and step back, allowing bucky to stand, then grab his hand and lead him to your bedroom. once you’re standing beside your bed, you turn to face him. he meets your halfway, pulling you into another, filthier kiss. you reach for his belt buckle, unfastening it and sliding it through the loops, tossing it to your floor. next are the button and zip of his jeans, shoved down his legs until he steps out of them and kicks them and his socks aside. he obediently lifts his arms when you slide your hands under his shirt and begin pushing it up, breaking the kiss to nearly yank it off, making bucky huff in amusement. once it’s tossed with the rest of his clothes, bucky grabs fistfuls of your dress and pulls you into him.

“my turn,” he says against your lips.

carefully, bucky helps you out of your dress, eyes raking over every bit of new skin shown to him. he bites his lip when he sees your lacy underthings.

“you got all dolled up for me?” he asks.

shifting under his stare, you nod. “wanted to look nice,” you admit.

he hums. “beautiful.”

he kisses you again, a little softer than before, but no less passionate. the urgency returns as he backs you up until your thighs hit the mattress. gently, he guides you onto your back, never breaking the kiss as he follows you down and settles over you.

you soon find yourself in need of air and pull away with a gasp. bucky is undeterred and instead presses his kisses down your jaw, to your neck where he decides to bite and suck until he’s left a mark you’ll have to reprimand him for later. he licks his way up to your ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth, drawing a whine out of you.

“bucky,” you whisper, hands gripping his sides as you squirm below him.

“hm?”

you close your eyes tightly when he makes his way back down to your collarbones.

“please,” you whimper.

“please what, sweetheart?” he asks, pushing himself up to look you in the eye.

“t-touch me,” you beg, cheeks flushing.

his lips quirk into a smile. “i am touching you.”

“bucky,” you whine.

“where do you want me to touch you, hm?” he wonders. one of his hands trails across your shoulder and down the center of your chest. “here? or… here?”

when his fingers glide, barely there, over your pebbled nipples, you push into the touch eagerly.

“or…” he continues, his feather light touch making a path down your stomach. your breath quickens in anticipation. “here?” he murmurs as his fingertips stop on your pantyline.

“yes, there, anywhere,” you agree hastily, “just —please. please, bucky, don’t tease me.”

he kisses you again, deep, full of promise. “you beg so prettily for me.”

he rearranges your positions until he’s between your spread thighs, sweeping his hands across the inside of them. he nods to your panties.

“may i?”

“yes, please,” you reply, lifting your hips to help him take them off.

he doesn’t give you a chance to close your legs in shyness, firmly grasping your knees in each of his hands and spreading them once again. the way he’s looking at you makes you feel unbelievably desirable, has excitement crawling up your spine.

“don’t forget,” you remind him, making his eyes flick up to yours in question, “you better make me cry.”

a slow, dangerous smile graces his lips. your stomach swoops eagerly.

~

a whine, high pitched and drawn out, escapes your lips. after you unwittingly challenged him, bucky took it upon himself to torture you—with sex. so far, he’s only used his fingers on you, in you, thrusting them steadily but never enough to bring you to climax. he’s taking his time and being a smug prick about it. you go to complain, again, hoping if you beg enough he’ll let you come, but before you can do more than open your mouth he’s quickening his pace.

“oh!” you gasp, clutching the sheets in your hands.

bucky slides his hand down your thigh, bringing his thumb inward to swipe around where his other fingers are buried inside you to gather your wetness and using it to rub circles on your clit. your back arches, head thrown back against your pillows as you feel your orgasm build. it’s not tears, but damn, it feels good enough.

just as you start to clench around his fingers, legs spasming, he stops.

your eyes open in a hurry, brows furrowing in confusion. “no, please, don’t stop,” you plead.

bucky smiles. “i gotta get the right build up.”

you groan in frustration. he laughs quietly and lets the inferno burning within you simmer down to embers, then starts inching his way down until he’s lying on his stomach, mouth poised above your pussy. the feel of his warm breath makes you shiver, and with no warning whatsoever, he leans in and sucks your clit into his mouth.

“fuckin’—oh my— bucky!”

you’re pretty sure you black out for the next several minutes, the only thing you’re aware of is the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears and the feel of bucky’s mouth on you. you’re lost in a mindless haze of pleasure, unable to think or feel anything else. you feel your orgasm cresting for the second time, and just as before, bucky pulls away before you can succumb to it.

“why,” you hiccup on a moan, wanting nothing more than to just come already, but he’s not letting you.

he shushes you, softly kisses your knee. sitting up to take his underwear off, bucky keeps his eyes on you, expression hungry.

“gonna take care of you, sweetheart,” he promises. “just a bit more. you’re being so good for me, yeah?”

“please,” you whimper, feeling completely pathetic.

he makes quick work of putting a condom on and then settles between your thighs. you sigh in relief when he wastes no time and pushes in, being careful not to go too fast. once he’s fully inside you, he pauses, wanting to give you time to adjust, but you’re back to whining.

“bucky, please, please just—fuck me,” you beg, squirming beneath him.

he takes mercy on you, finally, and sets a hard pace. your hands fly up to push against the headboard, moaning and gasping from his harsh thrusts, loving the stretch of him inside you. his thumb is back on your clit and you cry out, clenching hard around him, but his thrusts don’t falter. all too soon, you can feel yourself getting close. you hear your own voice chanting please, please, please, mixed in with bucky’s grunts and the sound of him fucking you.

you whimper, eyes squeezed shut as your climax hits the point of no return, crashing over you in waves. you think you might scream, but it’s hard to pay attention to anything other than the overwhelming pleasure coursing through you. part of you thinks this’ll be it, bucky will come now and then you’ll have had one of the best orgasms of your life and he’ll be on his merry way home. but no, that’s not what happens.

instead, bucky keeps thrusting relentlessly into you, dragging out your pleasure to the point of oversensitivity.

“s’too much,” you breathe, gasping for air.

bucky shakes his head, face contorted in concentration. “one more,” he tells you, voice gruff and deep.

unbelievably, you feel tears beginning to gather in the corners of your eyes. bucky’s still rubbing your clit, still keeping a steady rhythm of his hips, and fuck, he’s so beautiful. you watch him fucking you, wondering how the fuck you got to this moment, how you got lucky enough to bear witness to the sight of bucky fucking, let alone be the one he fucks. his body is ridiculous, looking like it’s carved from marble. you know how much strength it holds, as well, know that if he really wanted to, he could probably fuck you against a wall.

it’s with that thought, with the added bonus of the way bucky touches you, looks at you, like you’re something treasured and gorgeous, giving you such intense pleasure, that the tears threatening to spill over finally fall from your lashes.

bucky notices, because of course he does, and he thrusts into you just a little faster, a little harder, and your body seizes up and then you’re falling into another orgasm. it spreads through your veins, slow like honey, making sure this one settles deep into your bones. bucky groans as he, too, reaches climax, hips twitching into you in aftershocks until he stops moving altogether.

you both pant for breath, sweat gathered in every crevice on your bodies. you think you won’t be able to move for the rest of the weekend.

“need to pull out,” bucky says softly, breaking the moment.

you nod and he carefully pulls his hips back, grunting. you poorly suppress a whimper and close your legs, already hating the empty feeling.

“well,” he starts, plopping himself on his back next to you, “i think i deserve some kind of reward.”

when you turn to face him with an exasperated look, he’s got his arms crossed behind his head, a smug smile across his lips.

“how about i don’t kick you in the balls? how’s that for a reward?”

“i literally just did the impossible.”

“what, made me come twice? i can do that all on my own. you’re not special,” you retort with a huff.

he scoffs. “i fucked you so good you cried.”

“you can’t prove it,” you say to the ceiling.

“keep up this attitude and i won’t do it again,” he threatens, poking you in your side.

you wiggle away from the ticklish touch while trying to tamp down on the hope bubbling in your chest.

“oh, we’re doing this again, are we?” you say as casually as possible.

he rolls his eyes. “of course we are. now,” he sits up in your bed, stretching his arms as he stands and picks up his underwear, “i’m starving. wanna order takeout?”

well, you guess if you’d been worried about any kind of awkwardness before, you shouldn’t have. this is bucky, your best friend. he’d never let things change between you.

***

except, things kinda change between the two of you.

it’s not very noticeable at first, changes so subtle you miss them, until one day he showed up at your apartment and greeted you with a kiss. you stood frozen in your doorway as he rambled about how stressful his day had been as he kicked his shoes off. it was only when you heard him calling out from the kitchen that he was gonna eat your leftovers that you snapped out of it, yelling back that you’d kick his ass if he even touched your dumplings.

another day, he facetimes you and asks if you want to go to see that new movie you’ve been talking about.

“oh,” you’d said. “are nat and sam coming, too?”

he’d given you a funny look, replied, “no, i thought it would just be us two.”

“oh,” you said again. “okay.”

so you’d gone to the movies, let him buy you buttery popcorn and peanut m&m’s and a soda bigger than your head. he shared with you, despite your protests, and halfway through the film you felt his hand settle on your thigh. you blinked and stared at it for a beat, turning to him in question. he only smiled at you briefly before focusing back on the movie.

in between all of this, you continued calling him over for sex. honestly, how could you not? as much as you didn’t want to admit it to him, he was the best you’ve ever had. and if he’s so willing, why shouldn’t you take advantage while you can?

a week ago, though, you’d texted him and asked him to come over, replying to his question of what time and then started getting ready. you’d purchased a new piece of lingerie, a periwinkle babydoll nightie, that left very little to the imagination. it had a matching pair of panties and felt soft and luxurious on your skin. you’d taken extra time to do your hair and makeup, wanting to look like sex on legs, and you’re pretty sure you succeeded.

but when he got there and you answered the door in your sexy outfit, he didn’t see it right away. in one hand he held his phone, typing something on it, and in the other hand he held a grocery bag that you eyed curiously.

“i brought stuff to make spaghetti—“

when he did finally look up, his eyes widened and traveled the length of your body several times. you bit your lip, trying and failing to hold back your smile.

“how about we skip dinner?” you’d said, fisting his nice button-up shirt and dragging him inside your apartment. you grabbed the grocery bag from his hand and sat it on the floor, absently noting he was wearing his date jeans.

whoops, you’d thought, hope i didn’t pull him away from someone important.

you hadn’t let yourself dwell on it, standing up on your tippy toes and kissing him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. he’d returned the kiss, licking into your mouth, drawing your tongue out so he could suck on it and made you moan embarrassingly loud.

“wait,” he’d murmured, “we should eat first.”

“or, you could eat me,” you’d retorted with a giggle.

he groaned like it pained him to say no, gripped your hips hard and put a tiny bit of distance between you. the look in his eyes had made you want to find the nearest flat surface and bend over.

“why don’t you be a good girl for me, hm? let me cook dinner for us and after we eat i’ll fuck you however you want me to. okay, sweetheart?”

you whined, but ultimately agreed, knowing he’d make it worth it.

and then there’s tonight, where he came over unannounced, armed with groceries again and promising to cook you the best meal you’ve ever had. to say you were confused would be an understatement, but you also didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

it’s just… well, bucky’s not really acting like a friend with benefits. sure, you hung out alone with him all the time before, but he never once cooked you dinner, and he certainly never helped wash dishes after. you guess the hello kisses could be explained away as part of the new aspect of your relationship, but something about that didn’t sit quite right with you.

after a truly delicious dinner, you find yourself on the couch with bucky as he scrolls through netflix to find a movie to put on.

“what do you want to watch?” he asks.

“mm,” you mumble, shifting closer to start kissing his neck, “don’t care.”

as he narrows down his decision and finally picks one, you make your way up to his jaw, sucking a small mark into the skin there.

“baby,” he protests softly, “let’s just watch the movie, yeah?”

you pull back, confused. first at the pet name, then at his words. he’s never denied you before, which isn’t to say that he can’t, it’s just that he’s always seemed on board. and, you know, you thought that was kind of the whole point of this thing.

“okay,” you reply after a moment.

he gives you a smile and a sweet kiss, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his side to cuddle. you can’t help but frown, feeling like you’re missing something, but not knowing what it could be.

it doesn’t take long for drowsiness to creep up on you. before he showed up, you had planned on probably ordering out for dinner and going to bed early since you’d had a pretty rough day. in fact, you remember texting bucky about it just that afternoon. your eyelids get heavier and heavier, finding it harder to keep them open as the seconds pass. your head droops and in the next blink, you’ve fallen asleep.

you’re not sure how much time has passed when bucky wakes you, but you groan, pouting and burrowing into his shoulder more.

he huffs a laugh. “c’mon, sweetheart, let’s get you to bed.”

“don’ wanna move,” you mumble tiredly.

“i’ll carry you,” he offers. “up you go, baby.”

you half heartedly argue about being jostled, but let him carry you to your bed where he carefully places you, helping you out of your sweatpants and pulling your blankets up around you. you sigh in content, feeling yourself already drifting back into sleep. you hear bucky shuffling, but think nothing of it until the bed dips beside you, then feel his warm body slide in underneath the covers and press in close.

“goodnight, darlin’,” he murmurs.

you’d ask him what in the word he’s doing, but sleep is just far too enticing to ignore. you fall into slumber with bucky’s warmth along your back, his arm draped over you.

the next morning, you wake to the feeling of his fingers playing with the tiny bow on the front of your panties and his lips placing gentle kisses on your shoulder. you hum, eyes still closed, in the back of your mind thinking this is a nice way to wake up. at the sound of you, his touches get firmer, more insistent.

“good morning,” he rasps, breath tickling your ear.

you don’t really get a chance to reply. he dips his fingers into your panties, making you inhale sharply, moaning as you buck into his hand. he fingers you for a while, kissing along the column of your throat, biting and sucking marks into the skin there. when you’re begging him for more, he relents, eases your panties off and lifts your leg to slide in from behind. the angle is so nice it has you gasping.

you clutch the sheets weakly, burying your face in your pillow and muffle your whines and moans. bucky keeps a slow, lazy rhythm, acting as if he’s got all the time in the world to draw this out. it’s good, so good, and you can’t hold back your whimper when he kicks up the pace a little, tells you to touch yourself. you come seconds before he does, shuddering through it and humming happily.

as you both lie there and catch your breath, awareness trickles into your mind. you swallow roughly, staring blankly at the wall as you realize your feelings have grown far too much for this to be only casual anymore.

bucky kisses your shoulder again. “i’m gonna go make breakfast, okay? i’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“okay,” you whisper, blinking rapidly to keep tears from forming.

hearing bucky bustle around your kitchen makes your heart clench with want; want for something you can’t have.

***

bucky: dinner tonight?

you bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at the text. you know you need to cut things off with him before you get anymore hurt than you already are. it’s not fair to either of you if you continue with this arrangement when you’ve caught real feelings for him. you have to tell him, and soon. with that thought in mind, you type out a reply.

you: sure. what time?

bucky: reservations are at 8pm, i’ll pick you up by 7:45.

reservations? where was he taking you? you get another text before you can ask.

bucky: dress nice ;)

with a sigh, you text back an affirmative and try to start mentally preparing yourself for the conversation you dreaded having. you could only hope and pray that he agrees to still be your friend after.

by the time there’s a knock on your door that night, you’ve worked yourself up into an anxious mess. you open the door to see bucky standing there with a single peach colored rose and a bashful grin.

“hi,” he greets, leaning in to kiss you on your cheek. “this is for you.”

he hands you the rose and you feel your heart crack in your chest. you muster a small smile.

“thank you. let me go put this in a vase and we can head out.”

he nods and waits patiently at the door. as you fill a vase with a little water, you take a deep breath, giving yourself a mental pep talk.

this was going to suck.

the drive to the restaurant doesn’t take too long, and when you see where he’s taken you, your eyebrows shoot up. this is one of the nicer places in the city, definitely not on the affordable side. he helps you out of the car, leading you inside with his hand on the small of your back. you’re led to a small booth in a far corner with overhead lighting that feels too intimate. maybe you’d have to wait until you left to tell him…

conversation is light, a bit surface level, and you get the feeling that bucky is a little nervous. you wonder if maybe he’s gonna let you down gently first, hoping that he doesn’t, because you’d rather not cry in such a fancy restaurant.

after the waiter takes your drink orders, bucky sighs.

“okay, let me just… get this off my chest.”

oh fuck, here it goes.

“i know i’ve never really come across at the most romantic guy, especially since i’ve never felt the need to be.” he runs a nervous hand through his hair. “you’ve always been so important to me, and this last month has been so, so wonderful.”

“bucky…” you trail off, attempting to somehow stop him, but he powers through.

“i just—i never thought i’d find somebody, you know?” he says, earnest, gaze locked on yours. another crack in your heart. “especially not somebody who was my friend first, that i already had a solid foundation with. the attraction had always been there, but the friendship meant more to me, and finally allowing that to blossom into this amazing, new, fun relationship has got to be the best decision i’ve ever made.”

did he start dating someone and not tell you? oh god, has he been sleeping with someone else? at the same time? your stomach turns, eyes burning, hating yourself more and more as he speaks.

“so, i guess what i’m trying to say is,” he says, rolling his eyes at himself and smiling, “happy one month anniversary, sweetheart.”

you blink, feeling a tear slip down your cheek. “what?” you croak, beyond confused.

bucky, however, looks concerned. “baby, why are you crying?”

“i…” you blink some more, eyes flitting around the room as if you’ll get some kind of clarity that way to the situation currently happening. “what?” you repeat.

“did i come on too strong?” he asks, looking embarrassed now. “i wasn’t sure if you’d even want to celebrate, but i’ve just been so happy with you—i’m sorry, baby, i should’ve asked.”

“bucky, what are you talking about?” you finally manage, unable to keep the bewilderment out of your tone. “anniversary?”

bucky frowns. “i didn’t get the date wrong, did i?”

“no, i—this isn’t—i’m not talking about—ugh, i mean, when did we even start having an anniversary to celebrate?”

bucky’s face goes blank, sitting back in his chair. your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, so fucking confused, so fucking hopeful.

“we… we’re dating,” he says, slow, unsure. “aren’t we?”

“since when?” you ask probably too loudly, cheeks flushing.

he opens and closes his mouth a couple times. “when i asked you out?”

“bucky, oh my god, you’re gonna have to be more specific before i lose my goddamn mind. when did you ask me out?”

he huffs, his own cheeks flushing. “at the cafe! a month ago, at brunch with natasha and sam.”

your eyes widen in disbelief. “when you asked if you could fuck me until i cried?” you hiss, ignoring the scandalized look on the waiter’s face as he brings your drinks over.

smiling apologetically, you thank him and wait until he’s gone before sending a glare bucky’s way.

“that’s not how you ask a person out,” you seethe.

“i asked if you wanted to give this a try and you said yes!” he replies desperately. “i’ve taken you on dates!”

you pinch the bridge of your nose, thinking of all the times you thought he was being too romantic, more-than-friends type of behavior. you’re a fucking idiot, but god, so was he.

“at no point did you say anything even remotely close about us starting a relationship. i thought we were just fucking, bucky, i didn’t realize it was more than that!”

“you don’t—“ he starts, then stops, looking down at the plate in front of him. “you don’t want to be with me?”

“i didn’t know it was an option,” you say carefully.

“well, it is.” he meets your gaze, cautious. “i just spilled my guts to you. you know how i feel now. how do you feel? about me?”

you lick your lips. “bucky, i… i was planning to end things with you tonight.” his expression drops, even though he tries to mask it, so you’re quick to explain. “not because i don’t like you, but because i do like you and i thought you wouldn’t want anything more than just sex with me.”

“it’s never been and never could have been just sex with you,” he replies, quiet and relieved. he reaches across the table to take your hand in his. “i meant it when i said you’re the best decision i’ve ever made. i want this—the sex, the dinners, dates, all the gross and sappy shit i never wanted before… i want it all with you, if you’ll have me.”

you can’t fight the smile spreading across your lips. “of course i’ll have you, bucky.”

he smiles in return, a laugh bubbling out of him, which makes you giggle, until you’re both laughing so hard and loud that patrons from other tables are sending dirty looks your way, which only makes you laugh more.

“do you wanna get out of here?” you ask, laughter dying down. “there’s pizza and sex calling our names, i think.”

bucky moans dramatically. “i knew i liked you for a reason.”

he leaves money on the table and then the two of you quickly make your way through the restaurant, giggling and holding hands the whole way, even in the car.

#avengers fic #marvel fic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you

[yawnderu]

heads up there are accounts on here within the cod fandom planning to mass report accounts that post dubcon/noncon fics. would be a shame to lose you to those losers

Yeah, I figured out that would happen eventually when I started getting weird comments and anonymous asks about my noncon stuff lmao mini rant ahead.

Whatever happens happens ig, I have my stuff backed up but it's annoying and discouraging to see people deciding to comment hate on dub-con/non-con fics as if there isn't a warning for that type of content on the beginning of every single dark fic I make. I've had people tell me I'm normalizing sexual assault/rape as if I'm not a victim myself, and that's mainly why I've stayed away from writing dark fics until lately.

The community can be exhausting, giving people the chance to remain anonymous and say all the stupid shit they want to say without any consequences to it. Can't even count the number of things I've deleted from my inbox and never bothered answering because they're simply weird, hateful, and just make me tired as hell.

It's insane how impossible it seems to be for people to simply scroll away when you see warnings of topics you don't like or that trigger you. Truly, it's as simple as blocking an account or dismissing the post, there are tags you can blacklist as well, so why does it seem so difficult to use common sense?

Anyway, just woke up and I'm exhausted. I'm going to be taking a small break from Tumblr and writing while I work on some other stuff and try to get inspiration for my fics<3 I love you guys, I've always been immensely thankful for the support I've gotten. We're at 4438 followers now, should get to 4500 by tomorrow. I'll come back with hopefully more original ideas and more practice!<3

If any of you guys would like to play MW2/MW3, hmu! andddd to my mutuals, if you wanna add me on discord lmk<3

#stray answers

[beary-rambles]

Summary: Your friend was invited to a party and she begs you to tag along. While at the party they decide to play truth or dare and your friend knowing you have a crush on the cute guy from your english class, gives you a stupid dare.

pairing: Ethan Landry × gn!reader Drabble

warnings: alternate universe where there's no ghostface or whatever. I've never seen a scream movie before but i like ethan, oc best friend, cursing, making out.

a/n: not my usual fandom but i was just inspired to write this

PART TWO !!

While staring at your best friend in betrayal all you can think about how much you regret coming.

Only just hours ago you remember sitting on your bed on the phone with your best friend mars while she ranted to you about how much she wanted you to come. "pleeeeeeeeeeeee ease." you roll your eyes, "i don't feel like it mars."

"ugh," you can hear her shuffling through the phone, "just come with me please? for me?" "mars..." "'Il write that english paper youve been dreading for you." "Fine."

You two arrive at the party and you just follow her around the whole time. You notice than is here. The guy who sits next to you during english who you just so happen to have a major crush on. You've never spoken other than him asking if you have an extra pen during class after he forgot his one time. When he gave it back to you he has this charming grin on his face and you fell instantly.

He's standing next to another guy, you think his name is chad? You cant be bothered to care when he looks in your direction and notices you and your stare, his face flushes as he looks down at the cup in his hand. You turn away and look towards your friend whos giving you a suspicious grin. "what." "go talk to him." "no way."

she shakes her head at you and turns away that grin still on her face and you dont like it.

now you know why you didn't like it. Someone had suggested you guys play truth or dare like fucking children and when it happens to be your turn and guess who happens to be the one giving you the dare. "I dare you to..... sit in the pantry for seven minutes, ill send someone into join you." Fucking mars.

You knew who she would send it, "unless you're a pussy." you glared at her as everyone oo'ed. You huff as you get up and walk towards the pantry and slam it behind you dreading the inevitable.

the closet is small yet you keep your back turned towards the door. Its only maybe a minute before the door opens and you feel another presence enter as mars shouts, "Seven minutes starts... now!" You feel a warm body press against yours as the door slams shut.

You don't turn you dont even look before you begin to speak. "Im sorry." Theres a moment of silence, "For what?" Its him. "My friend mars, she's..... She's probably making you do this im sorry." He probably doesn't even know your name and now she has you standing your backside pressed against him.

"No she isn't making me do this." Now this confuses you as you turn your body, you back side brushing against his front and he whimpers slightly as you face him. "What."

His body gets warmer as if to reflect how embarrassed he feels, "She asked if there was anyone who wants to go in there with you." no way. "and you volunteered." you look at him the best you can in the dark as he avoids your face. "Yes."

"Why?" He pauses for a brief moment, "i've always thought you were gorgeous." Your breathe gets caught in your throat. "I've always wanted to talk to you you know since we sit next to each other but i've never known how to start a conversation so when i got this opportunity i just wanted to be near you-" He's rambling so You kiss him.

Once his initial shock wares off he takes your face into his hands eagerly as he kisses you back. you press him back against the door and he hums in delight. "One more minute love birds!" Its chad voice you think. You pull back out of breath, "Ethan-" he slams his lips back against yours, when you press your body against his he whimpers and hums. you hold him against you as theres a knock on the door,

"times up lovebirds make sure you're clothed because im going to open to the door." Ethan pulls away from the door and you two look at each other in daze.

as the door opens you move to whisper in his ear "We'll finish this later." as you spin him around and walk pantry with a satisfied look on your face. "You're welcome you bitch.

#ethan landry imagine #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x y/n #ethan landry x you #ethan landry #scream six #scream vi #scream #ethan landry drabble

[olderthannetfic]

I found myself rereading an old discussion about AO3 commenting culture (ye olde "Authors aren't owed comments" vs. "Readers aren't owed fic either" wank). And you know, it strikes me that a lot of the drama in such discussions is rooted in the fact that people only ever seem to engage with the worst things the opposite side says. And of course that leads to miscommunication, because the extremes are not generally applicable to most people.

Like, for instance. Someone going "I comment so regularly I practically gave myself burn-out commenting". Authors complaining about people who act entitled to stories aren't talking about you, I promise. They're talking about people who genuinely can't be bothered or go on flippant "Why don't you just write for yourself?" rants, while still enjoying other people's work. Ditto on the other side: people get offended at being called entitled authors, but odds are good the person isn't referring to you, who would simply like to not shout into the void, odds are good they're referring to the asshole authors they've met who'd throw hissy hits over comments that weren't phrased exactly to their liking, because yes, people like that do exist so it's simply flat out wrong to say "Just comment, authors are always happy to see comments, no matter how short! :)"

Also, a particular comment jumped out at me:

"It's not a consumer's job to compliment a promote an artist's work"

I generally agree that acting like people are owed comments is useless and stupid, but if I had to pick a phrasing that sums up my misgivings about common commenting culture, it's this. So many people seem to act like authors are getting a paycheck for this and don't need any additional motivator.

The other thing that bugs me is when people talk about all the reasons they don't comment (low spoons, anxiety, tired, etc.), but ignore the fact that authors have to deal with all of the above, too. And not just in fanfic. It seems any time there's any kind of social conflict being discussed (like, say, replying to a friend's messages in a vaguely timely manner) a ton of people will trot out excuses for why they can't do [insert what's generally seen as the vaguely courteous thing to do], but inadvertently act like that makes them special and like they're the only ones who have these legitimately valid excuses.

This started in one place and led to another, sorry. I guess I'm just frustrated with the Tumblr mental health culture of "I have a semi-specific reason I struggle with this so I'm not even going to try". I think people overcompensate too much for "Just don't be disabled!"-style ableism and swing too hard in the embraced helplessness direction.

Back to fanfic, every time I see the "I can't do it because of X" thing in the context of commenting, I can't help but think of how many authors also deal with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, low spoons, etc. and how easy it would have been for them to give up, but they got through it and posted the fanfic anyway, and how often they're then met with silence because the prevailing attitude among their audience is e.g. "I read this before bed and was too sleepy to comment, and too forgetful to comment the next day". I think about some of the fic I've written, often fic written when I maybe should have been doing something else, or fic written at the cost of sleep, or hyperfixating at my keyboard for six hours instead of going for a nice hike with my family, and it's hard not to get a little bitter, you know? Talking about legitimate reasons for why commenting is hard just so often comes across as "You're free to make sacrifices to write the stuff I read, but I won't make any"

I also feel a bit bitter that it's impossible to even discuss these things in a vacuum without someone going "Discussions like this are why I've stopped commenting", as someone inevitably will in the notes of this post. "Just shut up and make your Content(TM) and don't complain about anything", is what it feels like.

--

The entire phrasing of reward and owing is stupid.

The reality is that lots of people won't produce work unless they feel like someone cares. No amount of moralizing or excuses will change that.

It's also the reality that posting to the masses on AO3 or tumblr will result in maybe one like or other interaction per hundred hits if you're really, really lucky. The rate has never been much better than that, and it never will be. It's often very much worse.

If one personally wants to encourage people, sure, go out and do that, but any call to action that ignores the above two realities is like fighting the tide.

I do think "It's not my job to promote you" typically comes up in the context of meltdowns about letting artists "languish in your likes" instead of being reblogged onto your actual blog and/or contexts where the artist/author/etc. is selling their work.

Here's the thing: people who never comment do not count.

They think they're part of a community. They're not. If you don't participate, you're a ghost.

When some author moves to a more enclosed space, a lot of people who saw themselves as part of something are suddenly left out in the cold, wondering why. But the fact is, if you don't pay the entry fee of socializing with others, you're nobody to them.

The entitled randos don't matter. If they bug you enough, take your toys and retreat to a discord with your friends.

[urtheloml]

my love (boundless, cosmic, never-ending)

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader w/c: 2.1k synopsis: watching Everything Everywhere All At Once makes you think of the theory of a multiverse. your boyfriend isn't too pleased. a/n: idk i just thought bakugou would immediately tell you stfu if you told him to imagine an alternate universe that didn't have you in it hwhwhwhe <3 also: happy new year! i posted four times,,?? in 2022,, that's soo wild 4 me teehee :p anyway thanks for the support ily happy 2023

A crescendo rings, it echoes throughout the room and the sound bounces off the walls in your living room. The credits of the movie roll, the title 'Everything Everywhere All at Once' a stark white against the black background and if you squint, you can just barely catch your wide-eyed expression on the TV screen. Bakugou lifts his head off the couch arm, his face indented with lines from pressing into the leather. The room is filled with total silence, because holy shit.

"Babe, that was the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life. Like, ever." 

Bakugou snorts, but he doesn't disagree, and he probably refrains from answering verbally because he doesn't want you to hear how scratchy his voice sounds. Even though you definitely saw him get teary-eyed, he refuses to acknowledge that he cried during the film.

It would be stupid to poke fun at your boyfriend though because if his eyes are just barely red, yours are practically bloodshot and swollen. How could you, or him, not cry? The film was centred around immigrant parents learning how to grow, how to accept their children and apologising in their own ways. It was bound to happen.

Bakugou gets up and you let your legs stretch out, laying down fully on the couch. He shuffles around the room, picking up stray pieces of popcorn that you both threw at each other during the movie. He switches the TV off, puts the bowls and cups in the sink and washes them for you too. All the while, your mind thinks about the theory of a multiverse, thinks about Katsuki and how different things could've been.

When he returns, he rolls his eyes at the sight of your wet cheeks. A hand, big enough to capture both your ankles, lifts your feet up and Bakugou sets them back down in his lap. Absent-mindedly, he starts stroking your legs, calming you down, like you were a cat and not a human. 

"Why are you still crying? The movie's been over for ten minutes, you loser."

You can't really be bothered to call him something mean, not when your mind is working faster than your mouth and wide-eyed, you blurt out, "Kats, if the multiverse theory does exist, you realise that there's a universe where you and I never met? Or one where you and I hate each other and will never have what we have now- ow!"

The soft ministrations on your leg turn into a pinch, the skin stinging between his two fingers. Bakugou cuts off your rambling by doing so, and he eases the pain over with a kiss, like it never happened at all. He clicks his tongue, "Stop it, you know I fuckin' hate it when you start saying shit like that."

But you can't stop, your mind is whirring at speeds impossible thinking about every single life that he's not in with you. It makes you ache, makes you start saying stupid things like, "No, listen, Katsuki like it's an infinite multiverse, babe. I'm sorry if you don't wanna hear it but it's true so I think it's justifying me crying a bit 'cause in some life, you and I- hmprh!"

And suddenly, you're being pulled upright and Bakugou's covering your mouth with his hand, something that always takes you by surprise because it's so calloused but still so warm and it's such a contrast to his exterior, and he looks at you dead in the eyes and says quietly (steadily), "It's not true. It doesn't exist and it won't fuckin' ever."

Unbeknownst to you, in the midst of your rant that couldn't have lasted more than five seconds, Bakugou's traitorous mind assaults him with snapshots of what his life could've been without you in it. The moment you mentioned it, he saw it. He saw a life where there wasn't you by his side. 

A meaningless existence where someone didn't drool on his shoulder on the couch, where someone didn't insist on holding hands even when it was hot out, where someone didn't take the time to pry him open and let him be loved as much as he loved them.

He saw it— living with your absence. How dull and colourless it would've been without you there for him to hold or to kiss in the mornings and afternoons and at nighttime. He let the foolish image of a life devoid of your traces play out in his mind, and it lasted no longer than a millisecond but he hated it. Living with no one to cook eggs for in the morning, waking up in a bed that wasn't warmed by you and going to sleep without letting you sink into him. It was moronic, incredulous, and it baffled him to even think about it.

He thinks of the time you forced him to look away from what he was cooking, just to dance in your small kitchenette to whatever song was playing in the background. There was no room to really sway you and his elbows kept knocking into the cupboards and he couldn't stop the grin from taking over his face. 

You had laughed and it sounded like everything he ever wanted.

He burnt the food, you ate it anyway. He thinks of a life where the food had been cooked perfectly, and he would've had to eat it alone and it would've tasted bland and flavourless anyway. Nothing would've mattered, not one achievement or goal he reached, none of it would ever matter in any lifetime across any universe if you weren't right there beside him.

Bakugou releases you, letting you fall back onto the couch with a huff. He pokes and squeezes your legs, biting the inside of his cheek to try to cleanse his mind of the foul images he was forced to think of. Your eyes track every movement he makes, softening at the sight of him being so genuinely upset about this. He wears his heart on his sleeve, he plasters it to his big forehead and when you're around, he forces it into your hands and you're not about to break it now. 

A breathless giggle slips from your mouth, and you manoeuvre your body so your head lays atop his lap now. He's pouting, and he doesn't hesitate before running his fingers through your hair, combing through any tangles. It's his love language, you know that.

You try to say something, anything to salve over the sour expression on his face. But he must have had the wrong idea because before you start to run your mouth, Bakugou covers your mouth again, against your muffled protestations. He glares at you from above and leans down to talk.

"I'm serious, shut the fuck up, because it's not fuckin’ true. I don't give a fuck if the multiverse is infinite, there'll never be a universe that exists in which I wouldn't fuckin’ love you. Because if every choice I make leads to another verse then there's nothing I wouldn't fuckin’ do to make sure that in every single life I have, I'd end up with you."

Oh.

You feel silly now that he said that. The fact that you even considered such an outrageous idea was stupid. You forget who you're dealing with. You forget that there are two of you, and the universe is no match against the force that is Bakugou Katsuki. What he wants, he gets. And it's no secret that he really only ever wanted you.

"You said it yourself, it's infinite. So it's not implausible that there'd be multiple versions of myself tracking down every life where there wasn't an us. I'd still love you, always, even if I didn't know you yet, so I'll just have to get myself to find you in every single life. Everywhere, anywhere— I'll find you, I promise."

Oh. 

"So, if God forbid, there was such a cruel universe that you and I never met, then I'd jump verses for us and make us meet. Simple as that. You need me to use bigger words to get it through your thick skull, huh? Me and you, we're- we're boundless, cosmic, never-ending. It was always meant to be, the two of us. So stop fuckin' crying already, the only thing that's actually infinite here, is you and I, alright?"

Your eyes glass over, and then it shatters but you're tearing up for completely different reasons now. Not unexpectedly, Bakugou's right. He always is, and that's not unusual. Not when he says things like that, not when he shuts down every doubt you ever had in your head with a few simple words.

Reaching up to slip a hand behind his hair, you cradle his head in your palm. Bakugou relaxes, lets his cheek press into your palm and watches the affection dance in the colour of your eyes. You press a kiss into his palm, the one covering your mouth still, and watch the tip of his ears blush. He removes his hand then, letting it rest on your stomach.

He's right, of course he is. You let the worthless thoughts of the possibility of him and you ever ceasing to exist pour out of your mind. The ever-consuming fondness, the warmth associated with Katsuki and the love you have for him— it all takes up more than enough space in your head and in your heart. It leaves no room for any uncertainty.

But you're just as hot-headed and stubborn as he is, and you refuse to let him have the last word. And so you let your teeth sink into your lip, biting back a wild grin, you pull him down quickly by his hair. Kissing Katsuki never gets old, you think. It's always the same warm pair of lips against yours; a familiar dance.

So you lose yourself in the moment— you let Katsuki kiss you all soft and slow and lasting. He licks into your mouth and it shouldn't be as sweet as it is but it feels like it anyway. Laughter bubbles out of you, unbidden but not unwanted, and he grins against your mouth. 

The whole situation was ridiculous, how a simple question had spiralled into Bakugou confessing his quite literal undying love for you. It was both so in and out of character of him that you had to giggle. He wasn't fazed by your interruption, he smiled all the same against your mouth, kissing you despite your open mouth and laughter. 

And later, when the sun recedes and the moonlight pours into your window, it'll be quiet in the room Bakugou sleeps in with you. The only noise coming from the creaky ceiling fan. His arm finds its place, as always, around your middle— holding you like a heartbeat (constant, everpresent).

In the solitude under your covers, you find yourself admiring a privilege you never really realised you had. Bakugou's fast asleep next to you, his blonde unruly hair fans out against his pillow not like a halo. He's not that graceful, but his usually scrunched-up face was now relaxed. His expression is void of anything tense, practically defenceless laying next to you.

You weren't lying when you said he wore his heart on his sleeve. He's harsh and intimidating to the public eye, but when it comes to you, all his walls go down. It's unnecessary to be so guarded with you, not when he trusts you with his life, though he won't say it (he doesn't need to).

It's inexplicable, the way you feel your chest clench looking at him. It's a privilege; to get to be loved by him and to love him in return. It's something you take for granted, and you won't say it out loud lest you upset him again, but you think of a different life in which you're not allowed to do this. A life where Katsuki wouldn't tenderly kiss you on a beaten-up couch, where he wouldn't tangle his legs in between yours and fall asleep next to you. It's pointless to think about. He said it himself, it'll never happen anyway.

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you lean over him and press a soft, lingering kiss to his hair. Bakugou smiles, and you lean in closer to whisper very softly, so you won't wake him, "I promise, I'll find you as well. Anywhere, everywhere, in all my lives, okay?"

Katsuki has a sixth sense, a you-sense, and he's sound asleep but somehow he understood what you've just said. He tightens his arm around your waist unconsciously, and you feel relentlessly and irrevocably in love with him, even though it's been so long, the feeling never wavers or wanes. It stays buzzing in your veins, a constant ebbing flow.

You fall asleep quietly.

#bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x you #boku no hero academia reader insert #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #my hero academia x reader #bnha #mha #my hero academia #bnha drabble #bnha headcanons #my hero academia x you #bnha fluff #bnha angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #cursing

[gyubby99]

@disneyanddisneyships screeching crying ripping my hair out

"Vox!" Mal basically yelled out, walking into his studio.

Vox never flinched. It's like she wasn't even there. He had been ignoring her these past few weeks, and Mal never knew what she did wrong.

Vox didn't want to see her face ever again after that night..

"What's going on? You haven't answered my calls, or even talked to me! What happened?" She asks, frustrated for her friend.

"Nothing. Close the door on your way out." Vox replied coldly, not giving her a single glance.

"Nothing?!" Mal argued. "You ignore my entire existence after we've established that we're friends.. for Nothing?!"

"Leave." Vox monotonely stated, still turning back from her.

"No, I'm not leaving until I get a reason out of you." Mal stood her ground, sternly talking to the overlord.

Fuck..

"There's no reason. I want you out." He responded, giving her the good old cold shoulder.

"No." Mal replied. "I'm not going anywhere. Just tell me what's going on."

"Nothing's going on."

Mal sighed. "We're friends, Vox. For a while now. I'm not stupid. I'd know when something's wrong. Just tell me, Vox! You can trust me!"

Vox slammed his hands on the table, finally looking at her in pure anger. "JUST FUCKING LEAVE, MAL! GET OUT!"

Mal looked up at his tall figure, a desperate look on her face. "Atleast tell me what's making you act this way!"

"There is nothing that's making me act this way! I've always been this way!" Vox yelled back.

"That's not true!" Mal argued back. "You always responded to me whenever I text you! You never ignore me! Hell, you can't even stand one FUCKING second without trying to bother the shit out of me, and now suddenly it's all gone! You weren't always this way!"

"Does it fucking matter?! I'm fine!" Vox wanted her out of the studio, but she wouldn't even bulge.

Then that look.

Her eyes. Her goddamn eyes.

Why did it shine that much? Even when he's making her leave..

If he wanted her to leave.. then why couldn't he stop looking at her eyes since the moment he turned around to face her?

There was one answer.

"You're not fine, Vox! Tell me what's fucking wrong!" Mal yelled at him. But it was more of a plea than it is an arguement.

Vox couldn't stand it anymore.

"This!" Vox gestured to her. "That fucking look on your face whenever I see you!"

"What do you mean by that?!" Mal asked, confusion and anger visible on her face.

"You're weakening me!" Vox yelled out to her face, making her flinch as well as hearing his words.

Mal stopped, and so did he.

"How am I weakening you?!" She never understood it.

"I can't stand feeling this- this thing whenever I look at you! That fucking look on your face makes me feel so.. goddamn weak! I can't be like this, Mal! I.. this is a problem!" Vox ranted, and if only he had a hair on his tv head, he would've been gripping the life out of it.

Mal blinked. "Well that's not my damn problem, is it?"

"I don't fucking know! All I know is that I- .." Vox couldn't seem to get the words out.

"You what?" Mal asked, wanting him to continue the sentence.

Vox didn't respond.

"You what, Vox!?--"

"I LOVE YOU!" Vox yelled out, static in his voice and the studio lights flickering because of his overwhelming emotions.

Mal stayed silent, taking the words in.

Vox.. loves me?

Is this a joke?

"I love you.." Vox said in a calmer tone. "And love is a strong word. It's also a dangerous weapon. As an overlord.. I had to obtain my rank without love in my heart. I'm merciless. Evil. Apathetic. A fucking mess if you ask my honest opinion. I thought if I ignored you these feelings would disappear, but I still fucking want you. Fuck.. I don't know. All I know is that you make me feel so weak.. and I despise it."

Mal took all of this in, understanding the point of view of someone who loved power more than himself, and someone who fell apart because of love.

She too did that, and here she was, with a certain overlord in her mind.

"I love you too." Mal found herself saying.

Vox perked his head up. "What?"

"I love you too, Vox." Mal repeated herself. "Though I'm pretty sure you heard me the first time."

Vox froze, dumbfounded.

"I know you're scared to love again. I know how valuable power and control is to you.. but.. who's to say I'll hold you back from still having that? Vox, if you decided to destroy all of hell, I'll stand by you. If you wanted to control everyone, I'll still be here. If you wanted to burn this place of suffering and damnation, just tell me and I'd light the matches myself. I don't want to change you, Vox. I just want to love you." Mal ranted, declaring her heart and soul to him.

"You don't want this. I'm a fucking mess." Vox shook his head.

"You're the mess I want. I don't care what Val said about you. You've already proved him wrong to me. Sure, you may be a douche sometimes but hey, atleast you make up for it by playing videos on your head." Mal said the last part in a joking manner.

"Hey!" Vox started to be more at ease, even chuckling at her statement, in which she giggled.

"In all seriousness.. I don't care about your rank, or how much of a mess you are. Only if you do the same thing for a sinner like me. You once cared before you wound up here.. maybe you could do that one more time?" Mal smiled softly at him.

Vox smiled, in a soft expression only she had the privelege to see. "Maybe trying this again wouldn't hurt.."

Mal smiled widely, before making an attempt to hug him. Vox, a bit hesitant and afraid, recoiled back.

Mal laughed akwardly, before stepping away from him. How could she have been so stupid? Her and Vox never touched each other physically for two reasons. For one, he might electrocute her out of panic, and two, he swore to keep his guard up, letting her in, but not close enough to the point where he would long for her touch. He didn't want to trust again.

But now..

Maybe.. just maybe..

It wouldn't hurt this time.

"I guess.. not touching is kind of our thing." Mal sheepishly giggled, looking away from him with her cheeks red.

Vox hesitated for a bit.

Fuck it.

Suddenly, a hand reached for her cheek, making her look at Vox, who took guts to do it.

Mal couldn't react, for the overlord had immediately pressed his lips against hers.

She had been shocked, not literally, but she was surprised about the sudden act. Never had she been kissed this gently before.. something that wasn't a rough kiss to silence her. Not a kiss that told her all she was good for was in the bedroom.

It was just.. a kiss.

Something that told her he loved her.

Mal closed her eyes, beginning to kiss him back as she hesitated to hold onto him. She knew how he felt about being touched.

But then, she was forced to hold onto him when he had suddenly pulled her closer by the waist. The entire studio lights glowed, a warm kind of light emitting from it.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, until Vox pulled away.

"Look, I'm sorry for being an ass." Vox began to apologize, which was not his thing. Part of the reason why he thought she weakened him.

Mal giggled. "Maybe I could forgive you.."

Vox raised his eyebrow. "Maybe?"

"Yep. I have certain standards." She sassed, tapping her finger onto his tv screen.

"Is that a challenge?" Vox smirked.

"Maybe. I wanna know how far the overlord Vox would go for my forgiveness." Mal smirked as well, winking at him.

Vox chuckled. "God, I love you."

"Mhm. You better." Mal giggled, before pulling away from his grasp. "Tomorrow. 7:30pm. Lu Lu World."

Vox grinned. He knew how much she loved theme parks. "Deal."

Mal laughed. "Alright, big guy. I'll see you there." She stated, before making her way to the door. "Love you!" She closed the door.

Vox was left in the studio, lovestruck. Dumbfounded. His screen glitching as it said:

"Vox.exe has stopped working. Needs a firefly sinner rescue.

(Preferably a kiss if the name's Mal)"

~~~~~

"Alastor and I are dating!" Aponi announced to Mal as soon as she sat on the couch and asked about the big dumb grin on the butterfly demon's face.

"..WHAT?!" Mal shouted, eyes wide as the moon.

Just as Vox kissed me..

Hoo, boy!

#staticfly #mallory #oc x canon #my ocs #aponi wings

[cosplayproblemsposts]

Spray paint

Rumors spread like wildfire, especially the mysterious spraypaint artist struck once again.

Male character x male reader.

(polyamorous)

Staff members gesture first years away from the scene while other students took photos of the newfound mural. The colorful mural sat on the side of the gym "Move along!" teachers call as a swarm of students moves along.

You grin down at your phone as your piece of work blows up "Hey, Y/N over here!" Isaac your library Buddie waves you over to a nearby shelf. "We're are meant to be devoted librarians, not screen zombies" you hobble on the heels of your shoes "Sorry Isaac just a little distracted".

Reorganizing books gave you some form of peace whenever Harry acts like a total twit...let's just say you're his younger brother. Your navy blue phone rings "It's Harry" Isaac looks at your screen. "Thanks, Isaac" you pick up your phone from the table "I'll be right back" Isaac hums.

"What do you want?" Harry groans from the other side of the phone "I just want to know are you stopping by Lunas on the way home". Ugh, Luna smith Harry's little crush "Harry just ask her out!" Harry starts ranting, and for the truth, if he wasn't your brother you would have hung up "Are you done?". Silences that's all you need "Okay, she'll be at your party so just ask her out and stop annoying me!".

End of the call "What a fucking nutta" you took advantage of the little phone call and checked out social media with a grin. "Did you know Y/N gay" you froze once you hear two first-years whisper to each other "I know..." you don't even allow him to finish his sentence for the fear of a certain slur coming out of his mouth. You spin around to face the back of these two first years "WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT!" the two boys freeze "ANSWER ME!" and of course, they run away.

You felt panic riddle your spine 'it was just a stupid game of spin the bottle' you thought. You practically thrust your bag over your shoulder "Y/N's are you Okay?" you nod and breathed out a yeah and made your leave. "Wait, what about your library duties?" Isaac calls out instead of chasing you "I've to leave".

The sound clicking of you typing for your mother to pick you up while the voice of Harry your older brother kept on playing repeat. "Hey!, Springs is a fag " you felt scared for these were rumors and you didn't know how long they'd been around. Harry's one of the biggest bullies and his your big brother which makes it worst even though you're both a few months apart doesn't mean anything for his still the oldest. Whilst speed walking down the hall you round the corner a little too fast and collided with a fellow student.

"Ah shit, I'm so sorry I was just in a rush and-" Charlie tunes out your rumbling and watches you collect the fallen items. He stares at your lips and how they moved as you ramble on and on "Here!" you present his things to him "Oh, uh...thanks". "Again I'm sorry for uh.." you gesture to the corner and him along with his things "This?...yeah this" you help the curly-haired boy up.

You give him a pat on the shoulder and dash off in a hurry "Bye" Charlie replies to no one.

Wireless headphones in you blast music as you sat in the back as your mother tries to get your attention "Honey!" she lightly taps your knee when she stops at a red light. You remove your headphones the moment you saw her worried eyes "What's wrong? are you going to talk to me or are you gonna leave me in the dark?".

You hum in sync with your shrug "What's bothering you honey and BE honest with me". You hate how she sees through you but then yet again you are just like her in a way "Rumors" she hums and returns to paying attention to the road ahead of her. "I figured, your sitting in the back ignoring your dear old mummy" you groan and flick your eyes to the passing blurs outside your window.

"What kind of rumors?" you place your forehead on the window and sighed so loud it was obnoxious "Did I overreact by texting you?". Your mother shook her head "Don't change the subject and I don't know" you honestly wish Harry wouldn't say anything but your phone says otherwise. "Rumors spreading of me being gay" your mother falls silent and you didn't want this silence and you don't want your phone to make so much noise.

"Well is it a bad thing?" now it's your turn to fall silent "These rumors just states what you fear to be true" if your could you would jump out of the car but you can't. "What are you talking about?" your mother laughs "Now, do you really believe I wouldn't notice something different". "I...I don't know what your talking about" your mothers swats her free hand and giggles like some high school girl which makes you pout "MUM!".

You lift yourself from your leaning position and stare at her "Me and your father notice how different you act with certain boys and girls". You made a noise "And no you are not gay for I know you still like girls and no I know you aren't bisexual, while your father thinks otherwise but you know" you didn't want to talk about these things. "Allow them to talk but no matter what you'll always be my sweet boy and your father is fine with it as well, as long you don't bring back a loud blonde home okay?" you stare at the cell of the car.

Your vision becomes blurry "Hun? are you-" her reflection of her eyes in the review mirror sees you and she heard a small sniffle. "Oh, Honey please don't cry or I'm gonna cry" you tempted to wipe your tears away but nothing happened "I'm sorry Ma" oh great voice cracked.

The night of the party you didn't want to attend Harry's sixteenth birthday at all but your father convinced you and now here you sat with a red plastic cup that you see in movies. Texting your library buddy and friend Isaac Henderson "I've never been bored in my entire life before until now" you whisper your text message before clicking send. The three bubbles appear, signaling his replying "Can't he type faster...please?" you mutter, but the loud music breaks it up into a faint wordless sigh.

The spot next to you sink underneath someone's weight "uh...Hey" an unfamiliar voice says so you swive your attention to the curly-haired boy. The guy you ram into "Hey, corner ramp and I'm truly sorry for bumping into you really" he waves a hand at you "Oh, no need to worry I'm fine". Silence fell over you two and if it wasn't for your phone dinging then you would have felt stupid.

"Your friends with Isaac?" you look at this year ten in the eyes and nod "Well...uh we're more than library buddies" you made him chuckle. "He talks about you and half of the things he says...I don't know if it is true" oh because of Harry "Because of Harry, nope I'm better than him. I promise, here we'll picky swear just to seal the deal".

Timidly he reaches out and sticks out his picky and you do the same "I picky swear I'm nothing like my knob of a brother and you...are Charlie?." Charlie nods. "Charlie now knows half of the stuff Isaac had said is indeed true" you give his picky a little squeeze with the help of your own picky which seals the deal.

Nelson appeared and sat beside Charlie "Charlie and wow why are you talking to him?" Charlie immediately shakes his head. "Oh, no I'm fine, and he is my friend?" Charlie looks at you which made you nod repeatedly.

That night you have grown close to the two which lead to you absently mindedly forgetting what your brother was to you.

"So it's true" you frown at Harry's words while staring at the bowl of cereal "What?". Harry rolls his eyes as if your SUPPOSE to know "You and little Charlie" you grow even more confused and somewhat angry "Charlies my friend". "Well, you better tell him that, it's obvious the rumors aren't true" Harry gestures to you.

"What do you know about friendship" Harry shoots you a look like it was a warning "I'm just saying, mate it's obvious Charlie has feelings for you". 'Why would he assume that? and why is he telling me to dump my only valid and accurate friend?' you thought "You can't say much". "Some of your mates are jerks and their only friends with you because of your money" Harry scoffs "And Charlie's friends with you because he thinks you're a fag like h-".

You didn't allow him to finish his sentence instead you project your breakfast in his face. The whole event replayed in your head: milk and cornflakes drenched your older brother who replied with a left hook. You've never fought your brother before and your parents knew but the yelling of both parties lead to them pealing you off of Harry.

You sat in the library with your headphones full blast and a book overshadowing your face. Two shadows overcast you with concern and with a little tap of Nick's shoe you would have thought it was an illusion at play.

They sat on either side of you on the floor of the library, here you are stuck in the middle, Charlie removes your headphones. "Everyone can hear your music, not gonna lair that's a bit embarrassing" Charlie tries to make you smile or at least chuckle but nothing. Charlie looks at Nick for help so the freckle-infest boy slowly and gently removes the book from the silent boy's face.

Charlie gasps and Nick blinks "I...what happened?" Nick was the first to talk as Charlie scoots a little closer. Nick follows "I'm sorry I didn't mean to lie" both of the boys frowns "what do you mean?".

"About us" Nick makes an 'oh' noise as Charlie finally reaches for your hand "Harry just...I'm sorry".

"Okay, you both have to stop with the s-word," Nick says which made you chuckle, "you think so Nicky". "Your older brother is a knob nothing else, let us be honest he has nothing on you" Nick quips Charlie nods in agreement.

Once again the same scene played out, teachers ushering students away and flashes of phones. Swarm of students waltzing around or being ushered away "I like this piece" Isaac says as you grin. "Of course, three souls made into one" Henderson smiles "You deserve this win, C'mon I'm hungry" you made an 'oh yeah' noise before following after him.

Three skeleton males can be seen holding each other in an embrace of colors and the backdrop of a cotton candy color.

"Three souls made into one"

#heartstopper x reader #heartstopper netflix #nick nelson x charlie spring #nick nelson x reader #charlie spring x reader #nick x charlie #nick and charlie #male character #fanfic #fanfiction #male x male reader #male x male #male reader #gay #lgbtq

[tokkibbang00]

BACKBURNER - HAN JISUNG (TEASER)

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS, DO NOT INTERACT. UNEDITED.

synopsis: It's no secret to anyone with eyes that the two of you had something special. But sometimes, special isn't just enough. You think you can stay away and prevent yourself from further falling for Han Jisung. Clearly, you were wrong. No matter how much you try to walk away, he always comes back after you— always comes back to you. inspired by Niki's Backburner.

rating: (n)sfw

pairing: idol!jisung x idol!afab reader, ??? x idol!afab reader

genre: slight angst, hints of fluff (ig), idol!au. (will add more when the story is posted)

warnings: cursing, slightly suggestive, jisung is kind of stupid and is a red flag 😭, kind of dialogue heavy. (will add more when the story is posted)

teaser word count: 407

a/n: i've been posting teasers this week, most of the fics will come out starting next week !! so keep an eye out~ hanji has been plaguing my mind lately and i have a bunch of han jisung fics written in my drafts at the moment. this one is one of them :]] taglist for this is open!! just message me or slide in my asks! my requests are also open 🐰💙

teaser posted: 05-20-23

You and Jisung have a complicated relationship.

The both of you go way back since you were trainees in JYP. You ended up moving to Source Music a few years later and debuted under Le Sserafim, while he debuted under Stray Kids.

You've been friends with him for 8 years now.

At some point, the both of you were closer than others.

You'd attend their concerts and be the one who waits for him backstage afterwards, congratulating the group. He'd be the one sending you snacks or taking you out to meals in his free time whenever you were too busy to even eat.

When he's out on tour overseas, he'd never forget to get you souvenirs that remind him of you. He would message or call you in the middle of the night just to show you random things he'd encountered throughout his travels.

The both of you had your secret rendezvous in Han River when the nights were quiet. Catching up in life or ranting whatever it was bothering you that day.

It was inevitable that you would fall for him at some point.

You mustered up all the courage that you can get and tried confessing to him a few years ago. He reciprocated your feelings, but it was all complicated due to their dating ban and you were just a trainee.

The both of you decided to stay friends after that. Everything stayed the same. As if you were back to square one.

He and the guys congratulated you when you debuted. They've been in the industry for four years and you finally got to be with them. Jisung's dating ban has been lifted and your company was freer than most.

Maybe you got your hopes up. But even then, nothing has changed.

You and Jisung were at a standstill.

Ever since a year ago, you thought it'd be different. Your lingering feelings towards him were growing and it aches you that you can never really call him yours. You have no right to be jealous whenever you'd see him flirting with other idols backstage. You have no right to prevent him from dating other people.

It's been different with him. As if he forgot your confession and his own from a few years ago altogether.

This time, you swore to yourself you'd distance yourself from him; prevent yourself from developing any further feelings.

But in the end, he'd always run back to you.

It feels like he's been keeping you within his reach, but never keeping you at all.

TBC.

NOTE: Characters presented do not represent anyone mentioned in the story. This is a work of fiction and is not real.

#han fic #han ff #han jisung fic #han jisung au #han jisung ff #han jisung x reader #han au #skz #stray kids #skz au #skz fic #stray kids fic #stray kids au #han jisung imagines #han jisung scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #han jisung #bang chan #lee felix #hwang hyunjin #kim seungmin #lee minho #seo changbin #yang jeongin #han #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #bang chan fic #bang chan ff

[sebastianwallows]

Changes

Ominis Gaunt x platonic!Sebastian Sallow

Summary - Request for “hello! if your still taking requests i’d kill for a little hurt/comfort ominis/sebastian fix🥺maybe after the whole crucio deal?? he deserved better”

Word Count - 1,525

Warnings - angst, mentions of violence

Ominis took time for himself after what had happened in the Scriptorium. He couldn't grasp how you and Sebastian didn't seem bothered at all by what went on. You just let him cast Crucio on you like it was nothing then you were up and exploring the secrets of the room.

Sebastian didn't even blink and Ominis wished he was more surprised about that. Someone had to mean it to cast that curse. Ominis had meant it when he was a child purely because he was trying to save himself and even then he never stopped feeling guilty. Why would Sebastian be able to mean it to cast it on you? Of course it was the only way out, but Ominis wasn't sure that was a good enough reason.

Sebastian was just carrying on as if nothing out of the ordinary happened. He had taken the spell book and began studying it to piece together everything he knew. He sat in the Undercroft not thinking anything was out of the ordinary while Ominis sat in the dorms feeling pitiful.

His sorrowful feelings of how it felt to hear your screams of agony subsided to ones full of anger. You were the one who convinced him that it couldn't be too dangerous. Sebastian very well knew what he could be getting into and yet he charmed the both of you into his mischief. It wasn't just mischief anymore. Sebastian didn't understand any of what he was getting himself into, not like Ominis did.

The blonde boy took his wand out aggressively. He was disheveled; he had shed his robes because he found them suffocating. His hair was a mess from him running his hands through it and nearly pulling out. The sensitive skin around his eyes were tinted pink with the anguish he'd forced upon himself.

He pushed up the sleeves of his shirt and wasted no time taking the path to the Undercroft. He knew he would find Sebastian there even though it had been hours.

"Ominis!" Sebastian's voice was excited and Ominis heard him shift to stand and come towards him.

He put his hand up before Sebastian could come any closer.

"How could you?" His voice was full of hurt when he spat the question at Sebastian.

"You know what I've been through. You know more than anybody. But you're — you're so obsessed you can't see what you're doing."

"What are you talking about Ominis, we just got the spellbook. I —"

"Don't play stupid with me!" Ominis was feeling livid listening to even the smallest bit more Sebastian trying to spin things in his favor. He was using his hands now to gesture as he spoke, his face flushed red.

"I care about Anne every bit as much as you do. The pieces of a family you have left mean as much to me as they do to you. That's why I'm not going to stand by and let you destroy and start fitting in with my family more than I ever have." Sebastian closed the book and set it aside, angry and confused. He walked towards Ominis and got near to his face.

"How dare you say that to me. I'm trying to save the flesh and blood I have left. I'm sorry you wouldn't understand that because —"

Ominis outright slapped Sebastian, cutting him off before he could speak. Both of the boys were fuming and Ominis couldn't see the embarrassment on the other boys face. He couldn't see the mirrored tears being held back.

"The dark arts always have a price, Sebastian. They aren't full of whimsy and used just for fun. And did you even stop to think how I felt after you used me to get into the Scriptorium? You made me use what little of those disgusting abilities I have, took my to where my aunt died, and forced me to watch you re-enact one of the most awful moments of my life. Something I replay enough in my head you made me listen to right in front of me."

Ominis was breathing heavily at the end of his rant, inevitable wet streaks ran down his cheeks.

"You don't understand. You don't care about me or Y/N or Anne. You know she wouldn't want to be cured like this anyhow."

Ominis felt he had said his piece so he stormed out of the room as quickly as he had come in, shaking and using his sleeves to wipe his face. He left Sebastian standing dumbfounded and going through an array of emotions processing what he'd just heard.

He thought Ominis wanted to help his sister as much as he did. You and Ominis both possessed powers he couldn't ever imagine having and he thought you were both more than grateful along the way. You took the Crucio curse so well he had thought there was no way it could be as bad as others have said, at least not for someone like you.

He was conflicted about whether he had been wrong to make Ominis witness such a thing, but he hadn't said much at the time other than assuring you were alright after the fact.

Sebastian sighed deeply, rubbing his fingers into his eyes trying to make sense of this mess he apparently made. He felt exhausted with all of the thoughts swirling around his head and ended up falling asleep in the Undercroft.

Sebastian woke up feeling like he'd been hit by a broom. On top of the uncomfortable floor of the Undercroft, everything Ominis said came back to him the second he was conscious.

"Fuck..." he muttered, leaning his head up against the wall. He knew he screwed up and said things he shouldn't have. It's what he did best and he had done it his whole life. Ominis was right that he hadn't at all stopped to think about how his best friend would feel about the situation. All he had thought was it was the way forward to more information and the way out, so they had to do it.

He had hardly stopped to check on you and surely hadn't thought to check on Ominis at all.

Sebastian unfolded himself from the floor to go and look for Ominis. He hoped to catch him outside the great hall to have a private moment, if he would have him at all. When Sebastian didn't find him there he traced their usual path back to the dorms and was surprised to find the other boy alone in the common room.

Ominis didn't turn to acknowledge that anyone had come in, he sat by the fire with an emotionless stare. Sebastian didn't want to test his luck too much so he sat across from his friend, sighing and putting his head in his hands.

"Would you be willing to talk?" Ominis didn't flinch at all as Sebastian had taken his seat, but he tilted his head towards him.

"You can talk."

Sebastian looked up and decided spilling his guts was better than doing nothing to try and fix this.

"I made the wrong choice. I've made a lot of wrong choices and it feels like I just can't stop," he laughed softly, " if I didn't know otherwise I would think maybe this is my curse, but I know it's not. It's my own fault."

Ominis nodded as he listened, his grip visibly tightening on the couch. Sebastian scratched his neck out of nervousness. He really didn't know how to talk about feelings and he was uncomfortable.

"I was selfish. I convinced myself that I was thinking about Anne, but you're right that my judgement might have been misguided. I'm sorry I put you in that situation. I'm sorry I didn't even think to talk to you about it afterwards. As obsessed as I've been with following Salazar Slytherin's trail...you might be right about it.

"I mean, of course you know more about it. You grew up hearing about it so much more than I ever did."

Sebastian sat back against his couch, trying desperately to decipher what Ominis was thinking.

"I fucked up and I'm sorry. I can't take anything back, but I can listen to you more and I can listen to you now. So if you have more of last night then lay it on me."

The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, which was torturous for Sebastian. He felt like he couldn't breathe, knowing that Ominis had every right to tell him off more and tell him he didn't want to speak ever again.

"I forgive you, but only if you stop all of this nonsense for good. You can look for cures wherever you want, but not in the dark arts, Sebastian." His voice was soft and Sebastian could tell he was holding himself back.

Sebastian reached across the gap between them and put a had on his friends knee.

"If you don't mind doing some extra assignments tomorrow, I want to hear about how you're feeling. Well, maybe I could do without being struck again, but if it's what you need I'll allow it."

#ominis gaunt #sebastian sallow #ominis #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy imagine #ominis gaunt x reader #sebastian sallow x reader #hogwarts legcy x reader

[yrluvjane]

Sometimes things get Sirius

Sirius Black x fem!reader

(There is some slightly mature language to this.)

You grimaced as the pink and purple goo fell all over you and began spilling to the ground. You knew the glittery substance would take hours if not days to get out of your hair and uniform.

As the crowd around you began laughing loudly, you wiped some of the goo off your eyes and swiveled towards the four infamous boys, who have made the past four years hell for you.

You had believed that they would stop since it is your sixth year and they would be busy studying just like you and everyone else in their grade. However, it seems as though no amount of work and punishment could stop the mischievous boys from pranking others- and by others you mean you.

The four leaned back on the stone walls of the castle, falling over each other as they fell into hysterical laughter. “Oh merlin! I-I can't breathe.” James huffed out as he clutched his stomach.

“Oh I’ll make sure you lose the ability to breathe at all!” You snapped tripping once or twice while making your way to them, which only fueled your anger more. “You gotta admit, Y/n....That was fucking hilarious.” Sirius says and he high-fives the rest of his stupid group.

“Well I hope you'll find it hilarious when I choke the life out of you!” Shouting you lunged at Sirius, but before you could even touch him, light blue ropes held you back, and stuck you to the ground.

“What is going on?!” McGonagall's voice rings out the corridor, silencing all the students. Her eyes find your sparkling figure (as if it was hard to miss, you looked like a bloody pink disco ball) and then found the four troublesome boys.

“Run!” James shouts. He breaks into sprint, following by the three as McGonagall shouts out them. You knew even if McGonagall didn't let them off and decided to scold them and give them detention; all her words would go into one ear and out the other barely passing their brains (If they even have those).

“EVERYONE BACK TO CLASS!” McGonagall shouts as the crowd disperses leaving only you and her in the hallway. With a wave of her wand the blue roped disappear allowing you to freely move. You try to wipe some of the goo off but it doesn't work. You sigh tiredly, and somehow you feel helpless and small.

“Oh I'm sorry, dear.” The transfiguration Professor says. She tries to cast a cleaning spell on you but it doesn't work. As if The Marauders would let you off easily.

“Don't bother; I have been trying that for the past four years. I think I've memorized every cleaning spell there ever was.”

“I truly do apologi-”

“Its fine, Professor. Can I can take the rest of the day off, please?” You asked and were slightly happy when she agrees. The moment she leaves you begin making your way to the second floor bathroom, where you know no one is going to be there, considering the fact it was out of order, and was haunted by Moaning Myrtle.

Who better than a ghost to join your pity party? You thought sarcastically.

So for next two hours, you tried to get most of the thick and sticky slime of you as you ranted and rambled to Myrtle, who you found out, was a very good listener. “Why?! Why is it always me?! I have never not been nice to any of them!” You complained as tried peel some out of your skirt but only kept stretching the more you pulled.

“God…” You sighed as you gave up and looked at yourself in the mirror; even after hours of work you were still 80%  slime. Most of the slime was on your head, which meant you currently had pink hair that sparkled in the sunlight. You silently hoped that if the marauders saw you later your hair would blind them.

“Boys, I never liked them anyway. I always found them so mean and judging, they too liked to pick on me, the girls too. Although I can’t say my bullies were as…creative as yours.” Myrtle said in her hollow and eerie voice, floating behind you, looking you up and down.

“Oh I’m sorry Myrtle; I didn’t mean to bring up unhappy memories.”

“No it’s fine. It’s actually nice to have someone to talk too. Almost no one comes here, and when they do they never come back.” The dead girl said, she sighed and floated to her little window then look down at you from up there. “Will you come back?”

“I’ll try too, I’m usually quite busy with my N.E.W.T’s and all but if I’m free and have no studies to finish, I’ll come.” You said with a small smile that was met with big and happy one. “Oh how lovely, you should hurry up and finish, there isn’t long to lunch.”

“Thanks, Myrtle. Have fun alright, try talking to other ghosts. Maybe you’ll make friends.”

“Maybe…Have a good day or the rest of it anyway.”

You slumped you way back to the Gryffindor common, which made you: became the gossip to all of the portraits, Peeves new favorite victim, Filch’s latest catch and last but not least the laughing stock of any passing Ghosts and students.

Thank you, Marauders.

Apparently you looked so horrifying that Isabelle, the fat lady, let out a gasp so loud and sharp it woke any and every portrait that were hung on the large four tower walls that surrounded the staircases.

And as if your day got any worse, you were personally welcomed by The Marauders themselves.

“Wow, Y/n you look great! Do something to your hair?” Sirius says with a smirk as those scattered around the common room laughed.

“Thanks, Sirius…I’ll just go.” You replied, too tired to deal with any of them anymore.

“Oh but the fun hasn’t even started yet!” Remus shouts as you walk up the stairs gaining more attention than you hoped for.

“Oh God, I heard about what happened I just didn’t think it was this bad.” You turned around and faced your best friend and roommate, Dorcus, with a sad smile.

“Hey, how was Charms?”

“Tiring, I took notes for you.”

“Thanks, Dor… Wait, what are you even doing here? Shouldn’t you have Divination right now?”

“Not yet, Trelawney said some of us could ‘suffer great danger’ if we went now, the class was postponed an hour or so. Come; let’s get this stuff of you.”

So you had spent the rest of the day, running around the castle trying to find Professor Slughorn and Madam Promfrey.

To say you were exhausted the next day was an understatement.

Not only did you feel like shit, because of all the potions you ingested; but Professor Sinstra, the Astrology teacher, decided to have a pop quiz and then decided to pair you up with non-other Sirius Fucktard Black.

"I really have to, love. You look Gorgeous, stunning even. Done something new? Blush? Lipstick?... Hair?" He tried to hide a snort as he suggested the last word.

You silently glared at him with the heat of a thousand suns. "I know I'm breathtaking but it's still rude to stare." He said, with his smug face, which looked quite punchable at the moment.

You huffed and turned facing the other side. You angrily stared at the map under you. While astronomers saw rabbits, cats and lions, you saw a pan, an upside-down spoon and a triangle with hair.

You sighed running your hands down your face. Next thing you know the whole class was laughing. You looked up trying to figure out what they were laughing at only to realize it was you.

They were laughing at you.

Because someone had changed the natural color of your hair to the most vibrant shade of red.

You clutched the strands of your hair and looked up seeing Sirius's wand in your direction.

You slammed your head against the table and groaned as Professor Sinstra start to scold Sirius, who didn't even bother to pretend to pay attention.

"Y/n, darling, I have to say-" He began but stopped short once he saw you.

You had pulled out a hair claw, twisted you hair and clasped it.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at you with a suspicious look. You met his eyes and shook your head. "What?" You asked as Professor Sinstra finally managed to silence the class.

"What are you doing?" Sirius replied furrowing his brows at you.

"Nothing. Let's finish this; I've got a thing later."

"What type of 'thing'?"

"The 'None of your business' type of thing."

Even though you got back to your work, you felt Sirius's eyes burn a hole through your head the entire day.

The next day you had a bucket of ice water drench you just as you were leaving for breakfast.

The day after, someone had swapped all your writing ink with squid ink.

Then someone charmed all your notes into paper planes.

And today your quills mysteriously turned into birds in transfiguration.

And by 'someone' you meant The Marauders. But with every prank a part of you began building an immunity of sorts.

You stopped caring. It would only last a year or so. You thought. You'd graduate in a year and you'd never have to see their stupid, arrogant faces.

So what if you got drenched, you'll dry.

If they switched your writing ink to squid, you could switch it back.

If they transfigured your stuff you could just reverse it.

You sat on your bed, dressed in pastel blue pajamas with five books scattered in front of you.

You sighed, looking down on your notes (which you had to rewrite) then staring up to your reflection in the wardrobe mirror.

Tired and distracted you decided to get some fresh air. It was around 11, your roommate was asleep snuggled in a large soft-looking blanket.

You piled your books over the nightstand and slipped on your slippers. You tip-toed down the stairs quietly avoiding making sound as much as possible.

The last thing you needed to top of your week was getting caught sneaking out after curfew.

The breezy night provided a beautiful and much -needed change of atmosphere. In the night with swaying trees and the sound of waves, you felt un-caged.

For the first time this year, you didn't feel worried or stressed or sad or as though you failed in life.

You felt free.

You walked around the edge of the forest for a while before deciding to head to the lake.

But the more you walked, the more you had this weird feeling someone was watching you.

You sat across the lake throwing small rocks at it, watching as they made small circular waves.

The castle was a good distance now, which meant there was an almost impossible chance someone would know sneaked out.

You took a deep breath, inhaling the salty and earth-y yet refreshing scent of your surroundings.

As you stared up at the crescent moon, you thought of your future life. You wanted to become an Unspeakable. But because Unspeakables weren’t allowed to speak of their job or life (Hence the name) you didn’t know what to take.

So you were faced to take all the O.W.L’s and all N.E.W.T’s, which caused multiple challenges and problems for you. You had to study most of your subjects on your own, since you couldn’t actually attend all the classes and that led to you not being able to go to Hogsmede or hang out with your friends.

There had once been a period were you were so stressed that you skipped meals and barely ate and ended up unconscious as you left the common room. Ironically, it had been Sirius Black that found you and carried you all the way to Madam Promfrey and called Professor McGonagall.

According to Poppy, Sirius had spent the whole night at the infirmary, refusing to leave; even when McGonagall threatened him with various detentions.

When you found out you were shocked and thought this was his way of turning over a new leaf, However; that went down the drain when he and his little group thought it’d be funny to hide your stuff all around the castle.

Your thoughts were abruptly frozen when you heard a noise come from the forest. It was so dark that you could barely make out the branches of some of the trees. You cursed yourself for forgetting your wand.

You narrowed your eyes at the sound, trying to focus your vision to make out a shadow of the being that was intruding on your ‘me time’, as the Muggles say.

You raised your palm, ready to cast a wandless incendio if anything dangerous came out. You weren’t exactly frightened, you came to this spot a lot and so Hagrid gave you a few private lessons on all the main things to know about the forests.

The dark figure was getting closer and you narrowed your eyes further, daring them to come closer.

“Hello, gorgeous,” Sirius Black says with his infamous smirk as he walks out of the shadows, like a level 10 psychopath.

“What are you doing here?!” You whisper-shouted at the boy. “Have you gone insane?! I was two seconds away from roasting you!” You say outraged as he calmly sits down next you, legs stretched, leaning back on his palms.

“Lovely night, isn’t it?”

You stared at his face with wide eyes before you threw your hands up in the air in defeat.

“Yeah, it’s a great night.” You said sarcastically.

“This is what a guy gets when he tries to be nice.”

“Nice?” You scoffed, “I think it would physically kill you to try and be civil let alone nice.”

“Is it so hard for you to believe that I can be nice? Yeah, I know. I can be a twat. And I don’t always want to prank you-”

“Then why do it?”

“Because it’s the only way I can get your attention?” He said looking at you as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I’m sorry?”

“Ever since third year, where you chose all the classes, which I didn’t even think was possible, you been like a ghost. You’re either in class, in the library or in your room. And even when you’re in the great hall you’re like a mindless zombie.” He turns to you, his eyes boring into yours with sadness roaming in them.

“Remember in first and second year, where you actually spoke to us. When you went to our games or you hanged out with us in the courtyard or helped us with our homework. Where’s that Y/n? At first we thought of the prank as nothing but a joke, hoping you would come back.”

You swallowed, not expecting how this conversation turned out. “You left and never came back. You left us after you promised you wouldn’t…you left me.”

“Sirius…” You took a few seconds to look into his eyes, getting lost in the depths of his grey orbs. Your face is inches from Sirius’. You find yourself completely captured by his gaze, eyes boring into you and holding you prisoner, refusing to release you from the trance you’re in.

You felt guilty and sad and there was another emotion swirling in the pit of your chest. You couldn’t help but truly look at him. This was Sirius. He looked so vulnerable, so open. Even if you haven’t had a civil conversation with him in years.

You knew Sirius had his mask on. Always.

A mask of happiness even when he was sad.

A mask of courage even if he was scared.

A mask of safety even when he was hurt.

But this Sirius, the one in front of you, was mask less. He looked broken, sad and hurt. And somehow it pushed you back to second year. Right after the sorting, you remembered Sirius crying and whimpering on the ground.

You remembered cleaning the wounds his father caused, you remember him telling you he was threatened to not speak a word to his brother, that if he did his little brother would suffer worse.

You remembered holding Sirius the whole night promising you will never leave.

You remembered promising yourself you’ll never let Sirius feel like this again.

When you looked up at him again he was much closer than he was before. Your nose was brushing his as his eyes settled on your lips before facing yours once more. You were sharing breaths and you were gasping softly, both of your breaths felt as if they weighed a hundred tons.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers, wetting his lips with his tongue.

“Please,” you breathe, already leaning in.

Fireworks exploded in your head as your lips meet his; he keeps a firm but gentle grip on your face, a great contrast to the kiss, which was heated and desperate.

You let yourself be carried away by the moment, losing yourself in his mouth and in the warmth of his body next to yours. Without parting your lips with his, you climb on top of Sirius swiftly, hiding your fingers in his hair. His hands were quick to rub your thighs up and down eagerly.

“Y/n!” he moaned into your mouth.

Sirius planted a kiss on your neck. It started as something innocent, a mere brush of his lips on your skin, but it intensified as the seconds passed.

His lips caressed every inch of skin within reach, sucking and biting delicately until they left marks that would not disappear quickly. You closed your eyes enjoying the waves of electricity that coursed through your body at his assault on your skin.

Your grip on his hair tightened and he let out a low moan that vibrated against your neck and went straight to your core.

Sirius' wet kisses trailed up your throat until they reached your mouth, where he joined your lips once more in a desperate kiss. He trapped your upper lip between his, his tongue exploring your mouth expertly.

And so you got lost in Sirius, you fell and fell deep; entranced by his stormy eyes and suffocating lips.

 The light hit your lidded eyes, beckoning them open. You turned to your side desperate for more sleep. You tried to fall back into your dream a deep chuckling caught your ears. You snapped your eyes open, horrified when you saw Sirius laying next you, shirtless and a smile on his face.

“Morning.” He said but your head was still in shock. You blinked stupidly and tried to desperately remember what happened last night. You sat up quickly rubbing your eyes only to realize you were only in your underwear. You snatched the blanket you were sleeping on and covered yourself.

“There’s isn’t really anything to hide after last night, darling.” Sirius said amused, sitting causing his blanket to trail down. Your face flushed red as you shot him a glare. “Screw you!”

“You already did but I won’t say no to a round 2.”

You looked at him with wide eyes. “We didn’t…did we?” You asked your voice rising in pitch.

“Not all the way. I would never to that, not like this.” He said seriously, surprising you.

“I’m gonna go.” You said awkwardly as hid behind a tree and put on your pajamas.

“Y/n wait!”

You turned and faced Sirius, your face growing redder as you caught him dressing. He took his wand out and transfigured the blankets back into his shirt before putting on.

“You transfigured your shirt into blankets?”

“Well I couldn’t exactly let you sleep on the ground or get cold.”

“I…”

“Let me walk you back?…Please?”

“Sure.” You said as he smiled and jogged up to you.

You walked in awkward silence, or at least it was awkward for you. Sirius, on the other hand, looked as if he was having a mental battle in his head. “Penny for your thoughts?”  You questioned.

“Oh, sorry. Um…What- Are you free next Hogsmede?” He asked, stepping in your way and pausing you.

You looked at him surprised. Was he…going to ask you out? You wondered with a tilt of your head.

“I wasn’t planning on going.” You said and felt slightly bad when you saw his face fall. “Oh. Okay…uhm.” He said.

“But I guess it’s not too late to free my day. Why?” You asked hoping he would take up the opening. You bit your lip, nervously; you weren’t sure but there was a part of you that did want Sirius to ask you out.

“Would like to go to Hogsmede…like on a date?” He asked nervously, “With me.” He then clarified.

“An actual date? Not a hook up or a prank?” You asked, fiercely staring him down.

“No! No! No! A date. A real date with me. We don’t have to go to Hogsmede…we could have a picnic here at the lake. Or go flying at the Pitch Or-”

“Yeah, Hogsmede sounds nice.” You said as he looked up at you with wide eyes. He was about to say something but you held a finger up, shutting him. “But…If this ends up being a prank or a way to get into my pants. I will hurt you.”

“I wouldn’t- No! I want, I’ve wanted to for three years.” He said, genuinely.

“…Don’t play with my heart. Not like you do with others.”

And with complete sincerity, Sirius’ replied, “I would never play with something so priceless.”

.

.

@twerkforsheep, I hope you liked it and is what you asked for.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #harry potter x reader #marauders era #sirius x reader #sirius x you #sirius orion black #sirius black x fem!reader

[yoonmeowzz]

ateez ! helping you cope with dysphoria

content: trans!male!reader x ateez members, fluff, pet-names

a/n: i've been really insecure about almost everything lately, so i hope this makes me feel better. btw this is my first work omg

hongjoong

he gives you a whole twenty-minute speech about how you shouldn't mind gender norms cause they're stupid while he hugs you or holds your hand.

"y/n, you don't need to fit other people's stereotypes. just be yourself, cause you're perfect just the way you are."

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

seonghwa

hwa tries to cheer you up by distracting you from everything that's bothering you. like, he cooks for you, takes you to your favorite café, bakes something with you. just whatever you want, he'll do it.

"wanna make cookies and watch a movie, pretty boy?"

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

yunho

i think he does pretty much the same as seonghwa, but being goofy. like, he tries to make you laugh and forget what was making you frown in the first place. he also tries to convince you that your height doesn't make you look less masculine cause you're always comparing your sizes.

"i'm tall but you're the manliest man i've ever seen, y/n!"

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

yeosang

yeosang just jokes around. don't get him wrong, he just thinks it's stupid that people don't see you as a man. because for him you're the most handsome boy he has ever met. he tries to make you see that whatever is making you feel uncomfortable is perfect the way it is.

"i don't have a beard, does that make me less of a man then?"

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

san

san wants to fight whoever made you feel insecure, but first he makes sure you're fine. he holds you close to his chest while you rant about what you feel and even if you stop talking you both stay like that for a few minutes.

"those people don't know what they're talking about, don't mind them, sunshine."

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

mingi

he wants to cheer you up by saying comforting words and reassuring you. once you've calmed down, he starts acting like the princess he is and tells you to be his knight in shining armor.

"may i have this dance, my prince?"

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

wooyoung

he would also give you a long speech about gender norms but in a more aggressive way(?). he would be really upset cause you don't owe people masculinity and he'd try to make that clear for you. however, once he chills he would hug you until you're happy and smiling again.

"don't you dare change yourself for others, baby."

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

jongho

he's really protective of those he loves. so he's trying his best to cheer you up. he suggests doing your favorite things and if you're up for it you both exercise together to clear up your mind. jongho knows words don't work sometimes, therefore he prefers helping you with actions.

"i bet you can lift more weight than i do."

#ateez #kpop #ateez reactions #ateez x male reader #kpop male reader #ateez headcanons #ateez fluff #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #wooyoung x reader #mingi x reader #san x reader #jongho x reader

[hyunverse]

for your trope thingy, hurt comfort with bang chan!!

"maybe i expect too much," you exhale, the burden of your thoughts leaving alongside your words.

chan merely listens, eyes squinted as he focuses on every word which leaves your lips. he's always so attentive with you — each word you spit out is honey to him, each glance you spare feels like staring at the stars. he's heard the same rant about a billion times but he doesn't get tired — he just feels sad, and somewhat small. angry, too. you keep on venting about wanting a love so pure, a love that would have you dramatically sliding against the door after a date night. the type of man who would listen to your worries, the type of man who's passionate about what he does. you complain about the men you meeting being boring and dull — you wish to endearingly listen to someone's passions. you crave feather-like touches and deep conversations. you crave love so much that it hurts you to the bones.

it hurts christopher that you can't quite see what's in front of you — a man willing to give you his all — a man who'd smile while listening to you talk about whatever you like despite feeling tired. to chan, you're his charger. he gets energy from being around you, the sun to his solar power. he usually just listens, nodding along to your words. but tonight, tonight — he's had enough.

"he's so plain, channie. he didn't even bother to ask me what i like! he doesn't even want to talk about his interests, he just dodged every question i asked! i'm so tired of giving my all and receiving nothing back, it —"

"then cut him off," the words leaves chan's lips before he could stop them. he bites the inside of his cheek as soon as he realizes what he had said, eyes widening a little.

you're taken aback by the unusually harsh tone, "what?"

chan sighs. fuck it, he thinks — it had been said. he might as well get his point across, right?

"it's just that," he takes a deep breath, "you keep on complaining about all these stupid boys. why don't you go out on a date with me?"

"a date with you?" you raise an eyebrow.

"i mean," he scratches his head, "aren't i exactly what you like? i'm already doing all the things you want in a boyfriend, have you ever considered going out with me?"

you'd be lying if you said no. the thought has come across your mind one too many times; you bury them all for the sake of maintaning your friendship.

"i have," you say, blunt. his eyes widen even more.

"really?"

"i mean, yeah," you reply, slumping back into the chair.

chan nods, "well. do you want to go out on a date with me?"

"yes, chan, fuck — i've been waiting for ages."

#is this hurt comfort or just fluff #im kinda bad at characterizing him AHH #bang chan x reader #bang chan hurt comfort #bang chan fluff

[zooophagous]

Today's entry of Wayward Souls deals with the aftermath of Mr. Strauss' big night on the town and is an aside exploring the point of view of a side character.

I went back and forth over when the best time was to share this. It's sort of been bothering me ever since it happened, and my therapist told me it's healthy to share and write it down. For a couple of reasons, I hesitated. First, because it sounds stupid. At best, people would think I was exaggerating for attention. Second, because some really sketchy people really, really didn't want me to say anything.

Well, sue me.

For the purposes of our story, you can call me "Tina."  Fake name, just in case someone figures out I blabbed, but it's not like they'll have a hard time figuring it out from the details anyway.

I used to work at a pet store as a sales associate. I say 'used to' because after what  I saw, I'm not going back in there. I didn't even go back to get my last check. I made them mail it. This wasn't a nice pet store, it was a chain store. A Pets-R-Inn in a shitty strip mall. The sort of pet store that sells puppies and always sort of smells like shit.

You know the type. Yeah, I know it's bad. I knew it was bad while I worked there. I figured maybe I could work part time with animals and elevate the care a little bit, you know? I can't make a store stop selling puppies but I can make sure the puppies are clean. I can scoop a dead fish out of a tank. I can quarantine a sick rat before it infects the others. Maybe trying to make a difference in a place like that was my first mistake.

I've seen so much shit and vomit and pee and parasites it would make your head spin. I'm not saying this to bring down the 'good name' of the chain pet store that sells sickly puppy mill dogs for three grand a piece and pays just above the federal minimum wage in the year of our Lord 2023 however. No, that's a rant for another time.

 I'm telling you this so you understand that I have a strong stomach. You HAVE to have a strong stomach when you work with animals. Any time you work with living things, inevitably you're going to work with dying things. Especially when most of the animals you work with are rodents with a natural lifespan not even a tenth of your own, who all live in close quarters and share their food and water and diseases alike.

I'm not being dramatic. I'm not getting worked up over nothing and I am NOT making this up. I was a good worker and I was good at my job. I didn't let one weird guy ruin it for me. It was ruined for me by a monster. And now I'm terrified I'm being followed by the FBI or the CIA or some government something. I don't know who they are. I don't care anymore. If I go missing maybe whoever reading this can figure out who to blame.

I'm getting off track here. So, this one day, I'm working the shop by myself. It was sort of a cold rainy day, real grey and dark. My stupid shit head manager Derek takes off for a "meeting" that was a 2 hour lunch he didn't clock out for, and left me to run the shop alone.

Not a huge deal, when I'm alone I can slack off and do whatever, and the major chores for the day were done because it was dead slow so I was just at the counter on my phone. As I'm standing there the door jingles open and this guy walks in.

I look up a little and say hi. I'm not really paying as much attention to him as I should, because he sort of looks like he knows what he wants already and heads right in. He looked sort of  bedraggled, scruffy, but a lot of our customers are "animal people" who have dirty stuff to do so I don't think much of it. It was half storming outside anyway.

He goes back to where we keep the feeder mice. Now, I'm sure you're probably aware that snakes eat whole prey. Well, we try really hard to get our customers to switch to frozen whole prey instead of live because live isn't as humane, and being the kindly little Snow White I am, I start preparing my spiel.

I see he's already trying to open the cages. That's no good. Liability. God forbid someone get bit by a rat or drop the whole fucking fish tank full of them and sue us. Or worse, some bleeding heart trying to "save" them again by stealing them or turning them loose.

So I'm helpful and I go back with my keys and I say to him "Hey, I need to be the one to open that for you." Now I actually do get a look at the guy. He's muddy. Like covered in mud. Soaked. He looks homeless and he might be having an episode of some sort and Derek is still gone. Great.

By this time he's got the cage open. Which, by the way, is locked. He broke the lock. The padlock. With his hands. His hands that are now rooting around in a tank full of white mice. I don't really want to stop him. I don't think I CAN stop him. He turns around and he looks at me.

He's got a little pink tail coming out of his mouth. He has a mouse in his fucking mouth. He ate a fucking mouse.

My chest gets tight and I don't really know if I should scream or if that will make it worse but I'm screaming anyway and he spits the mouse out and shoves another one into his mouth and I hear it CRUNCH and he stares me dead in the eyes while he does it.

Speaking of eyes, his were glowing. The way a cats eyes sort of shine in different colors. He's taking a step towards me and I see he's got more mice in his hand and he has claws on his hand instead of nails.

This is when I started yelling. Not screaming, really, more of a holler. An angry yell. A garbled sort of half terror and half "what the fuck do you think you're doing" that came out in a single loud note that cut my throat raw as I let it out.

I hear the door jingle again. I'm hoping it's Derek. No, just more customers, or so I thought. They're yelling at him. He backs off, he's like... hiding from them? I think for a moment I'm saved, that maybe this is just some sort of patient that wandered away from his handlers or something. But then more people pile in.

And now one of them has a gun.

Somehow or other it has now managed to ESCALATE. This guy fucking panics, throws down a whole shelf of cages and they all shatter. There are mice EVERYWHERE. They don't just scatter though, they're running together in a swarm towards the lady with a gun. Did I mention it was a lady? I thought it was weird it was a lady. Usually ladies don't shoot up stores.

But anyway these mice are running to her and running up her legs and she's screaming and while she's freaking out the guy rushes them and knocks everyone over and he's just out of there like a bat out of Hell. The crowd runs off with him, and suddenly I'm alone again.

Just surrounded by broken glass, loose mice, and no explanation at all of what the fuck just happened. It was about this time Derek FINALLY decided to grace me with his presence and yell at me for all the shit that went wrong. As if I could have stopped it.

And of course he didn't believe me until AFTER he saw the security footage. I mean granted I sounded like a mess but what the Hell kind of lie would it be that a crazy person came in and started eating mice?

The aftermath was Hell. I had to stay late that night catching mice and cleaning up broken glass and spilled bedding. He broke the door too on his way out, which Derek had to leave yet again to go get a chain and padlock to keep it shut while I stayed behind and had another panic attack.

While I was cleaning up I found a couple of dead ones. Mice, I mean. They're not built to be thrown around like that. One I found though was very interesting. It was dead, yes, but it looked like it had been dead a while.

It was hard to the touch, and brittle. Mummified like a cat in the wall of an old building. I thought maybe it had escaped a long time ago and the activity only just now knocked the carcass loose from wherever it was stuck. But its fur was damp, and it had a large, suspiciously tooth shaped gash in its abdomen.

It was the mouse that guy ate. Except he didn't eat it. He just... sucked every drop of fluid out of it and spit it back out. Then he went back for more. He wasn't eating them, just... juicing them.

After finding that I finally gave up and called it quits. I didn't have it in me to keep cleaning and I wasn't sure I could come back to the store either, so despite Derek's vociferous petulant protests I went home.

Aside from suddenly being jobless, life was quiet and normal after that. I avoided the store but I'm told the creepy guy never came back. I thought maybe that lady actually shot him, not sure if it would really make me feel bad or not.

But the story doesn't just end there. Oh no! I should be so lucky! No, seeing someone having an episode or a meth bender or what have you is definitely distressing, but it doesn't really typically tip the scales from a moment of terror and confusion to a chronic anxiety that you're being followed and watched.

A few days after that little incident, I get a knock at my door. I open it, and I find an official looking little envelope. Maybe it's a subpoena to be a witness to the crime or whatever. I open it up.

No, it's a letter. Addressed to me, personally. "Dear Redacted, my name is Ursula Harker, I am writing on behalf of the Van Helsing Institute relating to a recent incident at 'Pets R Inn' retail store, in which you were the victim of an assault and may be entitled to financial compensation. Please contact me at your earliest convenience. This is an attempt to settle the matter out of court without the input of the police. By accepting our cash offer you are relinquishing your right to file civilly against the Institute, and agreeing to a non-disclosure cause. The Institute can be reached at..."

You get the idea. So I call this woman, Miss Ursula Harker. Even her name sounds creepy. She picks up, I tell her who I am.  She immediately starts apologizing to me, promising to pay for any store damages or medical bills and then some. Asking to buy my silence. So I tell her I've only got one question for her.

She says go ahead.

I ask her "What was that guy?"

She starts telling me that his name is Luther and he's a patient at such and such and I cut her off and I say again No.

What was that guy?

She's quiet for a bit and she asks what I mean. Now, I'm not a doctor. But I know a decent amount about animals. And I know this. People don't have eyes that glow in the dark. People also can't desiccate a mouse by sucking it dry in five seconds flat. She hesitates but then starts making excuses about HIPAA laws and how she can't discuss their patients and she asks me how much it would take for me to stay quiet.

I hang up on her.

Maybe that was really stupid. Could have got some cash out of the deal. The store got a new door and a nice fat payday they spent on a facelift for the place, and it only cost them their security footage.

More than that, it was really stupid because they kept calling me. She left me at least three messages before giving up. I was afraid to leave my apartment. They already knew my name and obviously knew where I lived. And they were protecting that guy... that THING somehow. Maybe they were the ones who made him? Like he was an experiment that got out and they were doing damage control?

I did a little asking around about "The Van Helsing Institute" and all I could find was that it's a private Catholic hospital. A "research hospital," whatever the fuck research that entails, I don't want to know about it.

The craziest shit though, is that this has apparently happened before. While I was digging around I found the contact info for a guy called "John." He's apparently an ex employee and now very outspoken critic of that hospital, trying to gather as much dirt on them as he can. I gave him my story, and all the descriptions I could. Basically if I see anything even remotely weird I report to him now.

It feels good, I guess, not being alone. I don't know that he could actually protect me if they got mad and came after me but I like that someone is watching them. Someone is keeping score. Mostly it feels good to know that I actually saw what I saw. It was a monster, I'm not crazy, and I think I did the right thing not selling my silence even though the lack of a paycheck hurts.

I keep getting more and more paranoid though. I've been seeing this weird woman follow me around town. Not the gun one- a different one this time. She's got sort of a medium tan skin tone, she's very petit, and she has this incredibly long dark hair and dark eyes. It makes her stand out in a crowd. I see her more and more whenever I'm out and I don't know if she's with John or with... the other guys.

I don't go out much after dark any more. I don't know how much this involves me now but I'm trying to move back in with my mom in Wisconsin. If I make it, you won't hear from me again. If I don't, just keep an eye on the obituaries. If I die, let it be known I don't want any part of my body used for research. It should be burned.

#wayward souls #writing

[yuikomorii]

PLEASE RANT ABOUT LE!!! I HATE THE ROUTES’ UNFAIRNESS!!

// I can't believe people want to hear me rant about it, I mean... It's not surprising given that LE is a contentious game, but I'm surprised you guys care about MY opinion :”)

I'm going to talk about Ayato's route, even though I've already discussed it in these posts. There is no route in DL that made me feel as bad as Ayato's; I couldn't stop crying for the second half of it, and it completely ruined the Sakamakis for me. Yes, Ayato was impulsive and hotheaded, but that was because he was constantly degraded and provoked. He wouldn’t have blown up the house and hurt his brothers if they had been more supportive of him. In his LE route, Laito calmly advises Subaru on how to deal with the powers; why couldn’t he do the same in Ayato's route??? And what bothers me the most is that Ayato was the most caring and brotherly in Laito's route. What can I say, Laito? I hope Subaru will be there for you when you have your next mental breakdown 🥰🥰

While Ayato judged some of his brothers in their routes, he at least apologized and hyped them up afterwards. He received no apology from any of them, making everything even more painful. The fact that time was rewinded in his vampire ending is ridiculous for two reasons: 1) how did he suddenly learn how to use his powers and do that? 2)There was no happy ending whatsoever. He's still forced to be king, to take responsibility for the Demon World, and to wield powers he despises. I would have found it still stupid, but at least better if he had suddenly healed everyone and everyone apologized when they understood his situation, but no, he had to rewind time.

I hate how all of them end up getting so much support in their routes and being loved by everyone whereas, there’s Ayato’s route where none of them loves him and the only reason they’re nice in the end is because “he acts like a king, he’s so mature uwah~” Watch him make one single little mistake again and everyone will hate him <3333 Ah yes, what a good family. I also find it so ironic how they’re all made to be so caring and family-oriented in their own routes. Then why wasn’t any of them caring towards Ayato? Why didn’t anyone try to talk nicely to him, unlike he did? Why did none of them find his situation sad or hard, unlike HE did? That's one of the reasons why everything seems fake to me, their entire development and family relationship, and I'll never be able to see the Sakamakis the way I used to. If Ayato acted like an unapologetic jerk towards them, I wouldn’t have had anything against it but guess what? He was good, too good and too caring in some routes, actually.

Normalize not subjecting a character to pain for the sake of character development. Ayato has always been nice; even Rejet describes him as the friendliest and most approachable one, and to be honest, I can recall more instances of selflessness from Ayato than selfishness. He is willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of others, as evidenced by numerous occasions. Yes, he got development in DF, and we saw Ayato's understanding and forgiving side, but I doubt what happened in LE could be considered good development, other than finally admitting his mistakes.

Also, I should mention how kind he’s in Kino’s LE route. This guy literally sacrificed himself and got burned alive and tortured instead of Yui. Kino also wanted to sell him to the church, where we would have been killed, but Ayato forgave him and was the first person to recognize Kino as his brother because he empathized with his situation.

Well, thanks Rejet for making Ayato such a sweetheart in LE, but your mistreatment of him resulted in Lost Eden being the lowest rated DL game, as evidenced by "ガールズゲームアワード2017”, where it placed 10th out of 10 games, when DL games usually placed high.

I would have written more, but I think that's enough for now. @besnella , @artemisflower , and my other IG friends are more aware of my feelings about this game. Again, I have nothing against you if you enjoyed LE. I'm glad your number one Diaboy got love because mine clearly didn't ¯\_(ツ)_/¯