#this is what teachers wrote on my report card in grade school

[lixern]

My rivalry with you expands... with love.

• AcademicRival!Scaramouche x GN!Reader

(ignore this whole space ill fix it later.. i wrote this on phone thats why :3)

• Scaramouche was always better than you. Grades, popularity, getting others hearts! But.. he's also trying to compete with the beating of his own heart.

(song; Me and your Mama, Childish Gambino.)

Scaramouche has always been just- so annoying. He was always with you, same school and everything. You would've transferred, really, but you already had such a good reputation in this school- how could you leave your whole school life behind? 1st place in everything.. God no you wouldn't leave that behind, but you sure did know that Scaramouche stole that title, and a part of your heart.

You hated him with a passion, you really did. You hated how his cocky personality always shot at you when you looked at your report card or.. anything that resembled your grades! Scaramouche would pull out his, then show you how much of a higher score he got. Ugh, he was on your nerves.

But then the finals were coming up, oh finally! The next grade will come after summer vacation- hopefully Scaramouche has transferred by the time it arrives.. but wait, surely you need to beat him before the school year ends right?

"Class dismissed, I wish you all good luck."

The teacher said once the bell rung, right after they finished announcing the topic for each subject to be reviewed. You turned your head to a certain direction afterward- Scaramouche, with his cocky smirk. His annoying face made you have a mental block, how were you supposed to beat him?!

You grabbed your things and got up, leaving for the door. You just wanted to go home after this God forsaken day, but then suddenly, you felt a strong hand on your wrist.

"God, Scara. Just let me go home."

You spat out, hissing at the pretty boy. You didn't even look at him, but you knew his signature smirk was plastered on his face. You wanted to punch him so bad, but it was hopeless. If you punched him- the teacher would send you to detention, not him.

"Oh, how cute. It's so funny how your pretty little head thinks I'm letting you go."

Scaramouche countered, before letting his guard down by a tiny bit- silently gasping at how you flicked his hand away from your wrist. He groaned sarcastically, before pushing you out of the doors way. He made his way out of the classroom, making a peace sign before vanishing out of your sight.

You look back to see the teacher looking at you not so passively.. after the incident. You wish them a goodbye, embarassingly walking out the door after. You closed it gently, making your way to your locker after.

You walked slowly, just thinking about how you could possibly study harder- and how that teacher witnessed all of that silent bickering with Scaramouche.. Everything was so embarassing today.

But oh well, you thought, opening your locker once you got there, grabbing your books and whatnott, putting it in your backpack. You then close the locker door, to reveal a sly Scaramouche standing behind you.

"What do you want?"

You almost growl at him, groaning at how tired you were already. You wanted him to go away, you wanted him to just crumble on the spot. But yet he couldn't- he just wouldn't.

"Can I not interact with the person who deserves to talk to me? After all, you are in my league."

Scaramouche replies- treating you like your worthy to even breath the same air as him. It annoyed you, really. Why did he have to bully you and not anyone else?

"Just, go away."

You argue, not even glancing at him before walking away. This time, no hands land on your wrist. Huh.. unusual of him to do that. You brush it off anyway, glad that he left you alone.

Time passed, your already home. Up in your room and done with all of your chores. You brought out your books to study for each and every one of your subjects, but today, you chose to study for the hardest subject of all. Well, hardest for you atleast.

So you study and study and study... soaking up all the knowledge. Normally you wouldn't study this hard since getting scores higher than everyone but Scaramouche was easy, but.. you needed to beat Scaramouche, so, I guess you'd be studying all night.

You studied till you fell asleep, the cycle repeating each day and night. You thought about Scaramouche the whole time, how you hated him so much. But wait.. why would you think about him so much-? Why did your heart beat so much?

Come to think of it.. every time his skin touched yours- your heart starts to beat so fast.. wait- no! You can't love your enemy!

Or that's what you thought.

Ah.. finals week was up. You studied hard for this. Scaramouche was staring at you, you noticed once you took a flew peeks at him. You then looked in front to see the teacher handing out papers- I guess it started already.

The same thing happened all over again for the rest of the week, your tests would get handed out, then you'd start answering. But you noticed.. Scaramouche would look at you once in awhile. Was he cheating? No.. you were too far apart for Scaramouche to see your paper, even with 20/20 vision.

Each after exam Scaramouche would do something to make you crazy, surely bringing you down. Well, not really sabotage you or anything. He just.. seemed much more touchy.

So this all repeated, till your grades were handed out.

"Hey, lovely. Guess what happened for once."

You tilt your head at Scaramouche, lovely huh..? Wait! Now's not the time to be getting all flustered-!

"What is it, Scara. You beat me again? Just as I've thought."

You said sarcastically, paining a bit slowly that you couldn't atleast be first place for one more time. Till.. wait, what's that loving look he's giving you?

"Actually, no."

He said, slamming his paper on your desk. You slowly examined each number, wait.. you finally beat him? No, no you can't believe it.

"Hah, nice tricks pretty boy. But, I know someone made a mistake on your card."

You said, smirking up at him. Everything was a facade, you just wanted to go home now. But wait- maybe you were being delusional? You didn't know.

So you walked out again, repeating the same thing as last week. To the locker you went, but this time.. you didn't make it to your locker.

The sound of footsteps behind you scared you a bit, as it was a secluded area in that part of the school. Well, almost everyone rushed out after getting their grades after all.

Slam! You heard, before feeling a familliar hand on your back. You turned around, seeing a lovestruck Scaramouche staring at you, pinning you to the wall.

"Wh.. Archons, what are you doing!?"

You said out of instinct, it was a reaction. Scaramouche looked so serious, it was kind of funny. But what made it not so funny, is that you were inbetween his arms right now! You couldn't get out- you just couldn't.. the moment had you frozen!

"Listen, you've been like a fly to me the whole year. You just keep popping out of nowhere in my mind and I can't seem to get you away."

You listen to what he had to say, it was kind of hard to not listen anyway. But then- you heard something the just made your mind blow away.

He took hold of your chin, making your already red face look at him. Before he said;

"I hate to say that I love you."

Oh God, both him and you couldn't just handle everything. So that's why everyone in class started shipping you both? The tension, seriously? What a stupid reason.

That actually came true.

"Well god, I hate you. I hate how you make my heart beat faster than anything."

He followed, before pulling you in a harsh kiss. Wow.. mr goody two shoes breaking the school rules for once. Your eyes fell open, but then closed once you got used to the feeling. Your hands suddenly flew to his

face, pulling him in closer. Till- he pulled away.

"Was that a yes? Because I had to sacrifice my perfect streak for just you."

He then teased, you suddenly seemed cutely annoyed at what he said.

"Shut up."

You reply, before kissing him again.

I guess you'd spend summer vacation with him instead.

#scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche #genshin imagines #genshin impact #genshin x you #genshin fanfic #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #genshin x reader #genshinimpact #academic rivals #scaramouche x reader comfort #scaramouche x reader fluff

[ethereal-bumble-bee]

I’m Not Sorry- David Jacobs

(Note: I originally wrote + published this on ao3, so sorry if it uploads weirdly)

    Davey’s hands shook slightly as he felt Spot’s eyes bore into the back of his head. The file he held in his hands felt heavier than it had been a few moments ago, like the contents were begging to be dropped into the churning river below them. “You want me to do what?” He asked, blinking in disbelief. “That’s idiotic, Spot.”

    ”Jesus, Jacobs,” the shorter newsie complained. “You’re actin’ like I want you to kill someone.”

    “If my mom ever finds out about this, I’ll be the one getting killed,” Davey retorted. “You know how much she values all these little papers.”

    “Sure, sure.” Spot snorted, pushing past Davey and climbing up onto the railing. “C’mon, I just spent a hundred-somethin’ dollars to get us on this boat- ain’t you gonna drop that crap in?” He spread out his arms like a bird’s wings, yelling in the wind, “That’s what we came here for, Dave, to let that bullshit go!”

    Logically, there was no reason Davey should have held back from dropping those papers in the river and calling it a day. All of them were symbols of his life from middle school until graduation- spelling bee certificates, awards from competitions he could never remember competing in, letters from teachers praising how good of a student he was and how far they were sure he’d go, notes from counselors and psychiatrists congratulating him on how far he’d come in recovery. Mementos from class trips, old report cards that his mother had hung proudly on the fridge while Davey beamed behind them… everything.

    He swallowed any words, the shake in his hands traveling to his legs, making him wobble on his feet. “I don’t think I can…” he answered, his voice choking involuntarily. “I’m sorry.”

    Spot’s face softened, and he hopped down to Davey. “Hey, Jacobs,” he said, placing a hand on Davey’s shoulder. “Don’t be sorry, ‘kay? It ain’t your fault that it’s hard to let go.” The tone of his voice told Davey that he meant it, that he understood, and a weak smile found its way to his face.

    Spot smiled back, patting him on the shoulder and then gesturing to the water beside the boat, whose driver had slowed down to a crawl. “Plus, you’re not sorry- not really.”

    Davey raised an eyebrow. “I’m not…” he paused, something clicking in his mind. “I’m not sorry,” he said, more definite this time. “No, I’m not. I’m not sorry.” His smile grew wider as he sorted through the papers, picking one from middle school that had A+ Student printed on it in bubble letters. He glanced at it one last time, cringing slightly for the smiling, cartoon-y characters on the page and what he was about to do.

    Taking the paper in both hands, setting the file down on the deck, he ripped the paper in two. “I’m not sorry!” He cried, crumpling up the paper and throwing it into the river.

    Spot stepped back and smiled kindly. “For what?” He asked, egging him on. “What’re you not sorry for?”

    “I’m not sorry for getting the hell out of that town as soon as I could,” Davey replied. “I’m not sorry for… for changing my name. For cutting my hair.” He glared at the soggy pieces of paper left behind in the boat’s wake, the ones with Hana scrawled on them. He picked up another piece of paper- a participation award from the seventh grade spelling bee that his mother had never thrown away- and crumpled it up.

    “I’m not sorry for kissing Lukas Fordman in tenth grade,” he yelled into the empty, laughing at Spot’s confused face, picking up another paper. “I’m not sorry for wearing that ugly-ass brown suit to prom, and I’m not sorry for spilling punch on Regan Allen when she called me that name.” Those last words were spit out, a mix of anger, relief, and excitement as memories spilled back to him. “I’m not fucking sorry!” He screamed. “I’ll never be sorry!”

    Soon, with every confession and taken-back apology, all of the papers, all of the memories of his miserable life before, were gone. Davey stepped back, his hair messed up by the wind and his chest heaving with the effort of screaming. “Fuck you,” he said to the bits of paper sinking into the water, holding up his middle finger. Spot threw an arm around him, tousling his hair, the two of them laughing with joy and adrenaline coursing through their veins.

    “See?” Spot grinned, patting Davey’s shoulder. “I told you it’d feel better once you let that shit go.”

    “Thank you,” Davey said, pulling his friend into a hug. “I needed this.”

    “I know,” Spot replied simply, as the boat pulled back onto the docks and the captain helped them ashore. “Don’t ever apologize for yourself ever again, alright?”

    Davey nodded, staring off into the afternoon sky, sweating in the hot air yet feeling chills travel up his spine, like he’d just seen the final number of a heart-wrenching show. “I know.” He smiled again, placing a hand on his heart. “Never again.”

    What’s there to apologize for when I’m finally free?

#newsies #fanfiction #musical theater #broadway #newsies musical #davey jacobs #spot conlon #david jacobs #transgender #Trans Davey

[totheidiot]

oh my god. i had the most profound experience that feels like it's from some lit-fic novel??

this happened two days ago and it was the day the report cards would be published. it wouldn't really matter for me; I am literally moving to another country come january and i will definitely not be sticking around for the next school year. i could fail if i wanted to and nothing would happen to me. i didn't fail, but I did very bad. was twenty-seventh in class out of fourty-seven people. I was eighteenth the previous year. so, yeah. downgrade.

my head teacher – he's our math teacher, he's been our head teacher for two years and i am pretty sure he's the first teacher who cared about me enough to actually remember my name – gives me a very disappointed look. "you did horrible this year," he tells me and I nod, but it still hurts to let him down, i suppose.

now, i ask if I can see my answer scripts because i was absent that day. he lets me and i go to the teacher's study. i take the graded paper of my math and science exam and check it. that's when the teacher comes as i was taking so long. he looks at me and then, at the paper, shaking his head. "fifty percent," he says as he points at my math paper. "what went wrong?"

i don't answer him, the real reason was probably because I was so sad because i was leaving everyone i loved but that's a stupid thing. he goes on. "and you're best friends with melody*. all your friends are bad kids and academic derelicts. your only fault is the bad company you keep."

that took me so off guard because I have always thought that the only interesting thing about me, the only thing worth keeping me around was my friends. I am not an interesting person at all, and they were the only part of me that I can wholeheartedly love. my silly little gay friend group, people who have never passed every exam, mental healths are questionable, but it was the best thing about me.

i don't know. if i ever wrote a memoir, this is a scene i know I will have to include because it's just a perfect demonstration of what people think of me vs what i think of myself. and it just means that my teacher is one of the many many many people I have let down.

#🍂 arian's shit #uh how do i tag this #personal story #life story #* melody is a fake name obviously. she's my best friend and she's sort of the stoner type. she got into some trouble because there were - #rumours about her carrying around cigarettes. they checked her bags and literally found nothing. #self reflection #arian contemplates his universe'

[doryythebutterfly]

Year End Exam Results:

So I got my exam results today, NOT my year end results. (the end of the year they count all your marks for that year and that will be on our report cards).

They didn't give us our year end results. Only my math teacher did and that is the result that I will give you.

And after that I will give my thoughts where in the moment I got the results.

Life Orientation: 53%

I was (kinda) happy about my results, considering how bad the rest of my class did. But I definitely felt like I could've been beter.

Afrikaans: 72%

I thought I did okay, but I also thought that I would've done beter. I am just really happy that I did good in my oral and transactional writing peace.

Math: 42 - 44%

I don't really remember what the exact result was but it was something lile that. And I almost cried. All I know is that I'll be taking math lit in grade 10.

Drama Practical: 72%

I was happy and kinda surprised.

Design Practical: 96%

Oh my word, I was soo happy. And also really about the feedback my teacher gave me and she was so nice.

Creative Arts - Drama: 92%

I was really surprised about this one, but it also made sense to me.

Creative Arts - Design: 86%

I was also happy but expected a little more.

Biology: 62%

I was really happy, because I knew I wrote my exam well and I also did beter in the previous term.

English: 78%

I was happy, mostly because I did a bit beter than last term. And also most of the things I said in my Afrikaans thoughts.

Physics: 68%

I was soo happy. I worked much harder than what I did last term and I shows.

Technology: 63%

I was really surprised and also happy. I was surprised with my mark because with this exam they asked the questions so, not very good.

Geography: 78%

I was surprised, because I thought I would do worse but I'm still happy nonetheless

EMS practical (?): 80%

I was really happy and I mostly had the same thoughts as what I had with physics

EMS Theory: 58%

I was ALSO really happy and yet surprised because I only read trough my notes, wich never works for me.

So, I guess I can say that I'm happy? (note the sarcasm)

I definitely thought that I could've done way beter, because you know there's always room for improvement. But considering that it is my first year back at like an official school, I am really proud of myself.

So, next year I want to do so much beter. And I know you can too!!!

.

Okay anyway, I am really tired and today was so hot. And hopefully I will be posting again tomorrow.

Til next time!

#student #studybrl #exam season #exam results #omg #school #high school #high school studyblr #high school students

[you-go-kaboom-i-go-kaboom]

Writer asks for a Tuesday night! How about: 10, 19, 35

it is wednesday morning where i am at! thank you for sending these, and sorry if the answers are a little long haha

10. has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? has your own writing haunted you? what does that mean to you?

Everything I’ve promised to write a sequel/follow up to and then never did haunts me lmao. I feel bad about saying I’d write stuff and then never did it, but like, I just have a lot of stuff I wanna write and I prioritize based on inspiration.

But if you mean, like, stuck with me in some powerful way that has a slightly negative connotation. Uh, no nothing really comes to mind tbh

19. tell me a story about your writing journey. when did you start? why did you start? were there bumps along the way? where are you now and where are you going?

Reading was a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. My mom claims I was reading full-length chapter books by kindergarten, and my school records/teacher comments on report cards definitely support her claims that I was ahead for my age. I could definitely read proficiently by kindergarten, but I’m pretty sure the full-length chapter books thing is more likely a proud mom bragging.

I loved reading as a kid. Novels, poetry, fanfiction (the first fandom I can remember reading for is the early 2000s Teen Titans series), picture books, the Bible, graphic novels/comics, a bird watching encyclopedia my sister owned, literally everything I could get my hands on, I would read. Definitely didn’t understand a lot of what I read, and I’m sure there are plenty of things I shouldn’t have been reading haha.

In sixth grade, I remember having an English teacher that absolutely hated me. I read ahead in the required readings and she threatened to give me extra work if I kept doing that. When I asked her if I could have the extra work, she thought I was being a little shit by calling out her bluff for work she definitely didn’t have prepared to give me and threatened to fail me instead if I kept reading ahead. We had several incidents like this throughout her year teaching me.

Needless to say, I fell a little out of love with reading for a while and honed a passion for science/math instead because of some really good experiences I had with those teachers.

So throughout middle school, I was just pretty much not interested in reading/writing at all anymore, and it wasn’t until freshman year of high school that I re-discovered my love for fanfiction. It was some horror movie that I can’t even recall the name of anymore, but I burnt through all the fanfic available for it in no time flat. It inspired me to write and I worked on original fiction for a little while.

Got about 10k into the first draft of some horror something or other, gave up, rewrote it, got about 20k in that time, and then kinda abandoned the thing. By then it had been a year and that was the only thing I had worked on.

I went back to fanfics after that, reading a lot instead of writing, falling in love with whump, and bouncing around quite a few different fandoms before I finally settled in with MacGyver, which I’ve always found weird since it’s so out of my usual genre. But between the copious amounts of whump fic, the appeal to my science loving heart, and the amazing people in this fandom, I’m very happy that this is where I’m at right now.

2020, senior year of high school, was when I honestly got back into writing, wanting to participate in whumptober that year. I put out a handful of fics and have been writing MacGyver fics since. They’re not all amazing, and a lot of what I write I keep for myself because I’m still learning. Even though I wrote some stuff back in high school, I feel like I’m very new to writing and that a lot of what I create doesn’t need to be put out there, you know? That it can just be something that exists and that I’m proud of and that I was able to finish just for myself.

Right now, I don’t have any plans for original fiction to be honest, I’m not at a point where I care about writing enough to put that much energy into something I doubt I’ll finish. So for now, I’m just planning on enjoying writing fanfic as a hobby.

Maybe eventually I’ll reignite that love I had for reading and create something of my own, but honestly, I won’t be heartbroken if I never do.

35. what’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

“Write every day”

I think that this advice as a blanket statement is nnnnnnot great. It always comes off New Years resolution-y to me.

You know how people will go ‘I’m gonna work out more this year!’ they go to the gym like twice, and then give up because ‘work out more’ is not a clear goal? Yeah, that. Someone who sets out to work out 3 days a week is more likely to succeed than someone who sets out to ‘work out more’ you know?

I just think ‘write every day’ is vague and unhelpful. Write X amount of words each week seems like something that is more doable, and allows for those inevitable slip-ups that get in the way of writing since it’s not X words every day. It’s a larger goal that has a deadline you can get to however works best with your schedule.

#thank you for sending :D! #ask game

[heartlikeawildflower]

You can't teach anybody anything. 

Be on the lookout, everyone you meet has something to teach you.

A laughing heart teaches, a beautiful renaissance painting teaches, and a walk through a lush green forest teaches. All things in life teach, but you can’t teach anybody anything when they don't want to learn.

I believe that we are products of nurture when it comes to who we become and that we learn by example. Our early caregivers have all the power and play a significant role in how we view the world. I had to become my own teacher in many ways because I had to learn how to fend for myself, and it can be a hard road to travel as a child without loving and supportive parents to help us navigate.

I have a lot of fond memories as a child, so do not feel sorry for me. My parents were young and did the best that they could do, and I love both of my parents dearly. It took me a long time but I forgave them which was essential to my healing, for my story.

Luckily, learning never stops. Every experience I've encountered I now see was instrumental in making me who I am today. Learning comes in all forms and there is no end to what we can accomplish. I felt angry for many years when I realized my childhood lacked nurturing caregivers. But we have the power within us to reinvent ourselves all the way up until our final days, and we all have what it takes to be victorious.

My childhood teachers didn’t see the signs of neglect, or maybe there weren't any obvious signs. Back then, adults didn’t get involved in other people’s personal business. I was shy and quiet and often didn’t comb my hair or bathe, but I was pretty, and my handwriting was perfect. I loved all the same things other little girls loved. I laughed and played with my friends. Things must have seemed normal from the outside, so nobody looked beyond the surface. I didn’t speak up much or even know how to ask for help, nor did I know I needed help.

I remember being excited to take a sewing class in junior high because my mother was an expert seamstress. I told the teacher I could sew because I had learned from my mother. We were assigned a dress-making project in class, so I picked a pattern that I liked, but it turned out to be hard, and I couldn't get the pinafore right. I remember my teacher making a snide comment like, “Oh, I thought you said that you could sew,”? She made me feel embarrassed for needing help so I asked my mom to help me, and she got so frustrated with me, and angrily ripped out the seams, tearing a big hole in my dress and screaming because I was doing it all wrong.

I concluded early on that adults are crazy, and I am not asking for help anymore.

By high school, boys came along. I loved the validation in their attention toward me, and my life started getting a lot more exciting. I was going to parties, having sex, and experimenting with drugs and alcohol. I remember when I was 14, hopping into my boyfriend's convertible mustang, looking straight into his eyes, and singing, You Aint’ Seen Nothin Yet, by Bachman-Turner Overdrive. Honestly, I really don't remember this, but he loves to remind me all the time.

I became more defiant at home and my grades started to decline. My parents' relationship was over, and pretty much all parenting stopped at that point. My high school history teacher gave me an “F” and wrote, “No effort,” on my report card, even though the entire semester he never showed any concern for my education, nor did anyone ever ask me if I needed help? The other kids really loved and respected this teacher, but I was having trouble staying focused in class. I was lost and nothing made any sense to me, so I failed because I never asked anyone for help.

I continued to struggle as I became an adult. I used to stay awake all night and into the morning, and as the sun came up, I could hear the sounds of life happening all around me. I would peep out my window and see healthy people jogging by, and the sounds of children laughing on their way to school. I had hit an all-time low and I hated myself so much I would urinate in my clothes. But god had mercy on me so I never have to return to being the person I once was.

Be on the watch there is a warm light waiting for you somewhere near the edge of every magnificent pink sunset. We must never stop searching for what we desire and be kind to ourselves and others along our path because everyone you know is your teacher. I had to fight off a lot of self-hate, sadness, and depression along the way, and I still do. I believe a loving power is always guiding us, filling our hearts with purpose, so learn to recognize it because it will teach you to keep going and try even harder. I promise there will be many little moments where hope will filter in and replace self-doubt and suffering. The key is to believe in yourself and not be afraid to ask for help.

I wish cats could make coffee. I wake up with a lot on my mind and a list of things I want to accomplish. And there's my cat, sitting on the edge of my bed with a bored look on his face. After all that I do for him, he can’t even make me a fucking cup of coffee.

Wouldn’t it be cool if you could teach your cat to make coffee?

[autumn-foxfire]

😒 I'm really hearing my mom complain that the report card wrote my brother's grade as an "A" instead of an "A+" because he has "three hundreds" and laughing abt how he's "finally set straight" and "running after every single point" because he understands he's not allowed to let his grade fall, and like WOMAN, we're both going to (am in) Community College, grades don't mean shit. They accept everyone, there's no reason to be so fanatic, you're not getting additional benefits, just wasted effort.

(2) Context being him staying after school to retake a Spanish quiz because it was "two points less" than a perfect score, I'm baffled. That's hardly worth the extra time. I operate on a mentality of "if the extra effort isn't changing the result or if I'm not getting anything in return, then screw it." Teach gives an A regardless if it's a shitty essay or a high quality essay following the rules? I'll write a paragraph and get that A. Teacher assigns essay and has no intention of grading it? (3) Now then why the hell would I do the work? True stories, both of them. Which my mom thinks is ridiculous on my part, and I know she's gonna cause a fuss about him acing the SATs. Which I had so much anxiety over only to discover that no, my whole future did not hinge on this stupid test. AFTER I took it, lovely. Could've taken it with a relaxed mindset and the months leading up. (4) Despite what I say, I have such a seething jealousy or annoyance, can't tell the difference, over her saying her son is going to "top" Highschool too, like. Sure, GL competing against the 5.0 AP Class Valedictorians, this ain't middle school. I'm ticked because that kid had no competition EVER, his classmates are afraid to take a single Honors Class. Meanwhile, mine were getting grades "above 100" it broke the fucking grade book limit. I know this because our teaches made grades public. (5) You can imagine how floored I was to be considered "smart" in a standard Highschool when I spent my whole life thinking I was stupid. Oh, and the icing on the cake is that my brother clearly has Autism and I have ADHD but to her, when brought up by people she's like "nO he's NORMAL" because he gets good grades. Like people with Autism can't be smart. If I say anything about it, it's "how dare you say that about your brother" I'M NOT SAYING ITS BAD. (6) I need her to understand that this is just a part of us instead of ignoring it, and that it's not something "not functioning" kids have, which rude. Instead she's content filling in the silence of my brother not speaking and his small gestures and words that I understand far more clearly than she ever would with her own delusions. There's a reason my brother talks to me about the "truth" instead of her. And I get so ticked when my brain goes brrrr and I gotta bounce around the house. (7) I don't realize I'm doing it, I just get this physical and psychological urge to go zoom, and she's telling her friends how I still act like a cute little 5 year-old bouncing on the toes of her feet which I find so insulting, that is NOT what I'm doing. It's a struggle, I'm trying to act normal, this is not cute or quirky and not a expression of how happy I am with life. It's just a physical release of Too Much Emotion and Thoughts stop looking and pointing it out. (8) I know you're taking a break from Uni, and good on you for respecting yourself as a person and caring about your mental health. That has far more worth than High Academia ever will, because you have a soul, your degree does not. I'm going to do my best to make sure my mom doesn't succeed with her whole "it's a waste of smarts if he doesn't become a neurosurgeon" thing when I know he doesn't want that. It's so easy for people to just say things without caring about the reality of the work. (9) I'm so unconventional in many ways I'm not saying, but hey 🤝 You do your best too, to live life at your pace making your own choices. Fifty years from now, this life will still be yours that you'll be living, nobody else. It's important to go with what makes you happy, and society doesn't care one bit what you do really. You're not a performer on a stage. There's no rush, and nothing is ever a waste. I hope you continue to heal and experience the funnest of days with friends, I'll try too!

Firstly, I want to apologise to you nonnie, you sent this ask a long time ago now and I'm only just getting to it. I'll admit, they amount you sent was quite daunting, especially when I received multiple asks with the same length.

I'm so sorry what you've had to go through with your mother about your education. I swear some people try and live through children and force them to succeed where they failed or force them on the path they went through because "I did it so my child can too, what do you mean they don't want too?!"

I'm happy to hear you can be a support to your brother, in a situation like yours where your stress is coming from your parent, you're not getting the support you need from your parents, especially if she's ignoring your mental health and neurodivergent disorders. I hope your brother is able to support you too.

Education really isn't worth the stress we go under, especially the pressure placed on students by parents and education. It just leads us to people struggling more and more until they can't do their education... That's what happened to me at first, where I felt like I couldn't turn to anyone because I thought my parents had put an expectation of univeristy on me.

I made the right choice to drop out of education and am now looking into interests that don't drain me mentally with the help of my therapist (for years I denied myself following art as a passion but now I'm getting support from everyone to try and I couldn't be more touched) and I hope moving forward you and your brother are able to follow paths that you want to do, not what you feel forced down.

Good luck Nonnie, I'll be backing you.

#personal #thanks for the ask!!

[mrsbrookegillespie]

+Homework+ Luke x Fem!Reader

(Not My Gif)

Description:When Y/N’s progress report comes out it seems as though their mom isn’t happy with the letters that follow each subject. So when they have to cancel on her friends band rehearsal to do their assignments it leads to an interesting encounter with the brunette guitarist of Julie and the Phantoms.

Warning: Stress, school, bad grades, mild angst, mostly fluff. 

+Homework+

Luke is not someone to judge another for having bad grades, considering what his report cards looked like, and the fact he dropped out of high school at seventeen. But, Y/N has two more years left in school, despite her age, and frankly… She’s struggling. “What’s this?” her mother asks, showing her an email.

“Those are… My grades?” Y/N shrugs, avoiding the small letters that labeled her as dumb, and lazy.

“Y/N! You need to start getting serious about this. You’re going to flunk out!” Y/N internally winces at her mother shouting at her. “I’m very disappointed about this…”

“Well,” Y/N starts. “I’ll do it!” She bites her lip, sliding away from her desk. “Tomorrow,” she adds, looking at the time. “I promised Julie I’d watch band practice today.” Her mom gives her a blank stare.

“Y/N! We’ve been very laid back with you, you’ve never been grounded or anything, but right now I want you to stay at home, and get your missing work done.” 

“But--”

“No!” 

Her mom closes the door on the way out, leaving Y/N feeling the stress of school. She grabs her phone, clicking Julie’s contact. “Hey! Are you almost here?” Julie asks.

“I can’t make it…” Y/N breathes out.

“What?!” Julie exclaims. “But, you promised to be here today, we’re performing tomorrow, you know?” The disappointment radiates through the phone.

“I know! And I will be there for that, because that’s really important, but I just can’t make it today.” Y/N is too embarrassed to say the reason why. Julie has amazing grades, and is insanely talented, and she might be a little jealous of that, mostly because she gets to spend extra time with Luke who Y/N has heart eyes for. But, his eyes are for someone else. Julie.

“No, she’s not coming,” she answers the muffled voice in the background. “I don’t know!” she groans. “The boys wanted me to ask you if you’re okay, which are you?” 

“Yes! I’m fine, just go rehearse, even though you guys don’t really need it, I know you’ll rock tomorrow--” Y/N gets cut off by her door swinging open.

“Y/N! Homework! Now!” her mom orders.

“I’m just telling Julie I can’t make it,” Y/N argues. “I gotta go.” 

“Oh, okay, well, we all miss you over here,” she affirms.

“Yeah, I miss you all too, but we did see each other today, so… I miss the boys.” 

Julie laughs. “I’ll tell them that, especially you know who.” Y/N can sense Julie’s smirk when she speaks. 

Y/N chokes on a bit of her saliva. “Julie! I-I have to go.” She hangs up. “Why me?” she asks whatever higher power could possibly be listening to the teenage girl. 

She plops down on her desk chair.

“What to start with?” Her eyes scan her To-Do List she’s already made, it’s not as much as she thought, but it’s definitely time consuming and very boring. Some of her teachers have already reached out to her, but she chooses to ignore their offers of help. She’s scared she’ll say something they’ll find stupid, or won’t understand. 

And so she has to skip her favorite part of the day, to do Algebra, and History and Biology, and…

“So, why couldn’t she come today?” Luke asks, tuning his guitar on the couch.

“Eh, I didn’t ask her,” Julie admits. 

“Why not?” Luke gives her a pointed look, his movements faltering.

“She would’ve told me if it was that important,” she claims. She looks off, before seeing him go back to his previous state. “Luke, you've been tuning that guitar for half an hour, I think it’s good.” 

He rolls his eyes. 

“So, Y/N really can’t come today?” Reggie asks, saddened over the news. “But, she never misses a rehearsal unless it’s family, or school related.” 

Luke finally stops, setting down his guitar. “Wait,” he starts. “Didn’t progress reports come out today?” 

Everyone looks at him weirdly. “How do you know that?” Alex questions, spinning his drumstick.

“Oh--uh.” He scratches the back of his head. “When I visited Julie at school the other day, I heard something about it.” 

Julie turns his head towards him. “Are you talking about when Y/N said something about it to Flynn? A couple feet away from us? Yeah I heard her too, because I was facing her.” She crosses her arms. “I think someone has a crush,” she teases, smiling widely.

“What?!” A subtle blush paints over his cheeks. “I don’t like Y/N like that, she’s--she’s just a good friend.”

“Oh come on!” Alex joins. “It’s so obvious, don’t think I don’t notice when you stare at her.” He sends a wink to Luke.

“Or when you talk about her,” Reggie adds. “Which is all the time.” 

“Just tell her,” Julie advises. 

“Tell her?” Luke repeats, giving her a look of disbelief. “I don’t think you’ve guys noticed, but I’m dead, and she’s very much alive.” 

“So?! Everyone knows you two are completely in love with each other, so give it a shot,” Julie urges, also knowing her friend's infatuation with the guitarist.

Luke chuckles. “She doesn’t like me, she rarely talks to me, to be honest I think she hates me.” 

“You rarely talk to her,” Julie points out. “And ‘to be honest’ I think she thinks you hate her.” Luke’s posture caves hearing Julie’s words. “Are we going to get started now?” 

Everyone nods. 

Throughout practice Luke found his mind wandering back to the previous conversations the band had. A warm feeling would build in his stomach for a movement when he would think about the fact that Y/N likes him, or at least his friends think so. “Luke!” Alex shouts, snapping Luke out of his thoughts. “Practice is over,” he informs.

"It is?!” His eyes widened when an idea popped into his mind. “Well, won’t you look at that, it is over, and I completely forgot I made plans, bye!” Luke poofs out, landing in a girly room, but has a certain vibe to it.

“Luke!” Y/N shrieks, putting a hand over her heart. “What are you doing here?” she whisper-yells.

“T-the--” he snaps his fingers. “The guys wanted someone to check in on you, and Alex is hanging out with Willie, and Reggie is Reggie so… I volunteered.” He sways back and forth against his ankles. “Sooo… How are you doing?” He strolls up to her smoothly, placing an arm on the back of her chair.

“Luke… You are a terrible liar,” she asserts. “But, if you really want to know. I’m not doing too well.”

He frowns. “Why?”

“School,” she sighs. “We got our progress reports, and I’m not doing too well.” She tries to hide the paper from Luke.

“Y/N, don’t be embarrassed, I’m sure it’s not that bad.” He plucks the paper from under her arm. His reassuring smile slowly faded. “There’s… Room for improvement?” He shrugs.

“Get out,” Y/N mutters. 

Luke’s heart plummeted. “What?” 

“I said get out,” she repeats, harshly. “I get it, I’m dumb, and I’m lazy, and I don’t do my work. I get it. So, just leave.” Tears threatened to fall from her eyes. “I’m serious Luke.” Her voice cracks a little.

Guilt washed over him when he saw the effect his words take on her. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. He reaches out to hug her, but he instead goes straight through her.

Y/N doesn’t notice his attempt of this action, instead boring her eyes at the paper in front of her. “Luke, I said just go.” She rubs her forehead.

He didn’t move though, he instead started looking over the paper she hadn't touched. “Twenty-three,” he answers.

“What?” she chokes out.

“The answer, it’s twenty-three.” He looks at her, a little self-conscious. “Look, just because I didn’t have the best grades, or didn’t do work, didn’t mean I was dumb, so stop telling yourself that. We’re not so different you know.” 

She scrunches her face. “How’d you get that?” she asks. “The answer to the question.”

His eyes light up when she accepts his explanation, not asking him to leave again. “So… I just did…” 

He talks through the problem, asking Y/N if she understands when her eyes widen. He noticed she does that when she’s getting confused, or is not fully processing the words. As they go through each subject, him helping her, or giving his opinion on things. She started to find herself smiling, and having fun? “Wow,” he whispers, reading a poem. “You just wrote this?” 

She nods. “Yeah, I know, it’s not that great.” 

“No! It’s really good for something you wrote in five minutes,” he compliments, rereading the poem in his head. “Who knew you were such a romantic?” he teases.

Y/N feels her cheeks warm up. “That’s actually the first time I’ve heard that.”

“So, who’d you write it about?” he asks. He partially dreaded asking the questions. He didn’t want to picture her ever describing someone that wasn’t him in such a beautiful context. “C’mon, you can tell me, what am I going to do? Tell my ghost friends.” 

Y/N giggles. “I--uh… Someone?” It comes out more as a question.

“Name?” 

“Why you want to know so bad, huh?” she blurts, with a smirk. “Why? You jealous?” She knew he wasn’t, but the thought made her whole body catch on fire.

Luke, surprised by her sudden cockiness, sends her a smirk right back. “Well, what if I am?” 

She scoffs. “Yeah, right,” she murmurs.

He tilts his head. “What is that supposed to mean?”

She gives him a ‘really’ look. “Luke, c’mon…” She waits for him to say something like ‘you’re right, I’m joking’, or anything along those lines, but he just stares back with the same intensity she has.

“What do you want me to say?”

The question lingers in Y/N’s mind. I want you to say you like me. That’s what she wanted to tell him, that’s what she wanted to hear. “Nothing,” she mumbles. “Absolutely nothing.” 

He cracks a smile. “Just tell me!” After that he keeps repeating it over and over again.

“I want you to say you like me!” she shouts. 

His eyes widened, but he didn’t seem uncomfortable, he seemed in awe of the situation. “Why are you shouting?” Y/N’s mom asks, rushing in.

“Because I’ve gotten ten assignments turned in!” Y/N cheers trying to ignore Luke giving her a big smile, seriously, it’s scary how wide it is. 

“I like you too,” he whispers, her heart dropping. It’s like he couldn’t contain his little secret for any longer, but now it leaves Y/N impatient as her mom stares down at her on the bed. 

“That’s good! she assures. “Though it would’ve been better if you turned them in on time, but at least they’re in.” Y/N nods at her mom's backhanded compliment. “Anyways, dinners ready.” 

“Ah, yes.” Y/N shuts her laptop. “I forgot humans have to eat.” 

“Can I stay?” Luke asks.

“In my room,” she answers.

“You’re going to eat in your room?” her mom asks.

“Can you?” Luke perks up, hearing it. “Just say you want to finish your work, because you’re already in the groove, or something!” His eyes are pleading Y/N to stay with him, leaving her almost speechless.

“Y-yeah,” she stutters. “There’s a few more things I want to do before I call it a night, and I’m kind of in… ‘The Groove’,” she discreetly ridicules the boy next to her that’s invisible to her mom's eyes.

“Okay, just come down when you’re ready.” 

Y/N sighs of relief when she hears the door shut quietly. “So, you like me?” She was slightly breathless from the beautiful boy so close to her.

“Yeah,” he responds. His eyes didn’t meet hers though.

“You don’t seem sure,” she judges. 

His gaze locks with her. “I’m just nervous,” he reveals. “You make me really nervous. I thought you hated me just an hour ago, and now…”

She gapes at him. “I thought you hated me!” 

“That’s what Julie said,” he adds, pointing towards her.

Y/N jolts her body away from him. “You spoke about me with Julie?” As if she summoned her, Julie’s contact lights up her phone. “Hello,” she answers.

“Is Luke over there?” she asks. “Sorry! Hi, it’s just the boys were worried.” Y/N sneaks a glimpse towards Luke who can’t seem to take his eyes off of her, it’s like he’s trying to memorize every single part of her body. 

“He’s not, but I had a question for you.” Luke looks at Y/N confused as to why she lied. “Did you guys talk about anything earlier? He was acting weird, and you know with you being good friends with him, and us being the best of friends, I wanted to know.” 

“Oh my God!” she exclaims. “He was out of it the entire rehearsal after we told him you weren’t going to be there, and he was all worried, and concerned, it was adorable. Dude is so in love with you it’s insane. I mean even Reggie and Alex were talking about how he talks about you, and how he stares at you, and how he’s so invested in you. I’d say he’s obsessed.” 

Y/N lets out a victorious hum. “Good to know, well, I’ll let you know if I see him--oh wait, he’s right next to me, thanks for the info.” Y/N hangs up.

“She told you about rehearsal didn’t she?” He plays with the rings on his fingers, a nervous habit he picked up.

“Yep.” Y/N pops the ‘p’. “She said you’re obsessed with me.”

“Not true!” he argues. “Sort of…” He pouts. “Not in a creepy way though!” He tries to grab her hand, but it goes straight through. “This will be interesting.” 

“Yeah,” Y/N agrees. “But, we’ll get through it…” 

Luke then learned one thing about himself that night. He was touched-starved.

#julie and the phantoms #julie jatp #julie molina #jatp #jatp netflix #jatp imagines #jatp fanfic #jatp fanfiction #jatp fic #luke patterson #luke x reader #luke patterson imagines #luke patterson imagine #luke patterson x reader #Alex Mercer #Reggie Peters #charlie gillespie #madison reyes #owen joyner #owen patrick joyner #Jeremy Shada #x reader #fanfic #luke patterson fanfiction #fanfiction

[yikesharringrove]

ok so this is out of nowhere but it’s projecting on steve hours so here’s a head canon 😌😌 one of the only people, before billy, who would ever tell steve’s they were proud of him was his 8th grade english teacher, she saw that he struggled a lot and was genuinly so willing to help him and was always so excited when he did well, so when steve is down he pulls out his 8th grade report card and reads what she wrote about him and it just makes everything seem better, yes i just did this

“Baby!”

Steve jumped a mile, knocking the shoebox off his bed, causing it to tumble to the floor.

He hadn’t heard the door, hadn't heard Billy puttering around in his house. Not until he was shouting up the stairs for him.

“Fuck.” Steve rolled himself off the bed, trying to gather up all the little trinkets and papers, stuffing them back in the box as BIlly’s feet grew closer on the stairs.

“Hey, Stevie,” he was outside the bedroom door now, and Steve was still cleaning up the messy contents of the box.

“Gimme a second! I’m, indecent!”

“Oh, come on. Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

And Billy pushed open the door, and saw Steve crouched over a half-full shoebox, papers strewn along the end of his bed and on the floor.

“What’s all this?”

“Billy, just, just wait outside for a minute.”

Billy bent to pick up one of the papers. It was a book report from Steve’s eighth-grade class on To Kill a Mockingbird. A red B was circled in the corner, neat cursive handwriting under it read-

Steve, great effort! I noticed so much improvement from your rough draft. I can tell how hard you’re working! Keep it up!

Steve snatched the paper out of his hands.

And Billy noticed the same neat handwriting on each paper in the box.

“Do you keep all your assignments?” Billy noticed what looked like an official report card on the bed, trying to look at it discreetly as Steve kept stressfully cleaning, his cheeks a deep red.

Steven is a pleasure to have in class. He’s curious with a wonderful drive and an exciting imagination. He’s ambitious and with the right help, I can see him going very far in life!

“What is all this stuff?”

Steve swept the report card off his bed, shoving the lid on the box and jamming it under his bed.

And the report card. Steve was pulling a B average. Even had an A- in English. Which, for how well Steve tries to hide his current grades from Billy, he still knows that Steve’s average grade is not a B anymore.

“It doesn’t matter.”

��Was that all from one teacher?”

“Billy just leave it.”

Steve’s face was flaming. He looked mortified.

“It’s cute you kept the encouragement,” he pressed on, wanting to soothe Steve’s embarrassment.

Steve bit the inside of his cheek.

“She’s kinda the only teacher that’s said that stuff about me.” Steve was still sitting on the floor and BIlly sank to join him.

“Smart teacher.”

Steve tugged at the carpet fibers near the foot of the bed.

“She was real nice. She noticed I had trouble with stuff and would help me. Give me the assignments early. She would work with me individually to like, build an outline, and then have me do a rough draft and she’d give me feedback and then have me do the final one. It was a lot of work but like. It’s the best I’ve ever done in school. And I know it’s-it’s weird to keep this stuff but I. Sometimes I read it when I feel real bad about myself and it. It helps.”

“It’s not weird. She was really kind to you and supportive, I can see why you’d hold onto it all.”

“She would give me study guides for all the tests, too. Like, ones I had to find the answers and fill them out, and hand them in and she’d count them as part of my test score because sometimes before tests I get so fucking nervous that everything just flies right outta my head.”

“Fuck, she sounds like the best teacher ever.”

“She totally was. I kinda wish I could’ve had her for like, all of high school. I probably wouldn’t be nearly flunking.”

“Maybe I could help you. Use some of the things she did, like go over rough drafts for you and shit. I would do that. For you. I would do that for you.”

Steve looked at him, eyes big and round.

“Yeah?”

“‘Course.”

And he smiled like sunshine at Billy.

“What was her name?”

“Ms. Andrews. Stacey Andrews, I think. Why?”

“No reason. You wanna watch a movie or something? Sleepaway Camp is on at 8.”

“Is that why you came over? My cable?”

“Your cable’s pretty much the whole reason I’m dating you.”

Steve laughed, tossing his head back and shoving Billy’s shoulder.

They watched Sleepaway Camp together, falling asleep tangled in Steve’s bed.

Billy sneaked out earlier than usual, heading by the Bradley’s Big Buy on his way through town.

And that morning Stacey Andrews woke up to a bouquet of flowers on her front porch and a note that read-

You’ve helped him more than you could ever know. Thank you.

#yikes writes #steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove #I’m literally so angry I’m gonna go fucking feral #anyway here’s this softness

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

books i actually like

A solid 97% of my ‘book reviews’ (for lack of a better term) are bound to be just me bitching about said book for way too long with way too many expletives, because books I genuinely adore rarely invoke the visceral reaction within me that causes so many of my ‘reviews’ of books I don’t like to be so impassioned and long-winded. Here’s to kicking this dumpster fire off with a little positivity, because that will be little and far in between henceforth.

Harry Potter – J. K. Foul Thing I never understood how someone could appreciate the art and not the artist until Harry Potter. JKR’s dead to me, but the seven original (and only, because I refuse to accept the flaming pile of dog shit that was The Cursed Child as canon) books remain i c o n i c. And you’ll probably witness a LOT of Harry Potter-inspired shitposting on my part if you decide to stick around, because Harry Potter trivia makes up a solid chunk of my personality, and I like to shove my fandoms in other people’s faces. Again, I’m cute like that.

The Diary of a Young Girl – Anne Frank By some odd coincidence, my mum got me Anne Frank’s diary for my 13th birthday, and I always felt like a Super Special Snowflake because of that. Obviously, I can’t relate to being Jewish and in hiding during WWII, but there’s a lot of Anne’s views and thoughts that… resonated with me (ain’t that the most basic-ass description of a book, ever). There’s always the lingering sadness while reading because you know how her story comes to an end, but it’s a book that’s still stuck with me six years later, and for the rest of my mortal life.

The Book Thief – Markus Zusak Why Must I Adore Books That Give Me Naught but Pain: An Autobiography.

Freak the Mighty – Rodman Philbrick Ditto.

Bad Alice – Jean Ure When I first saw the cover, I expected a lighthearted, cheery book. I was very much mistaken. Duffy, a self-proclaimed ‘oddball’, and Alice, another self-proclaimed ‘oddball’, are easily two of my favorite fictional characters, ever. The subject matter is pretty damn dark and rereading the book as an adult is actually kind of scary, but it’s so well-written and engaging and this sounds like I’m an elementary school teacher writing a report card so I’m just gonna stop here.

Tiger Eyes – Judy Blume A true Relic of the angst-riddled phase of my adolescence (I say as if I am not still going through said angst-riddled phase). I’ve been a fan of Judy Blume’s work since one of the girls in my third-grade class bestowed upon me Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing; growing up, I’ve become more detached from Blume’s work but Tiger Eyes is a book that’s never gotten old for me. Davey, the angst-riddled adolescent protagonist, is also stubborn and headstrong and angry and scarily relatable to myself at her age, though under wildly different circumstances.

Changeling – Philippa Gregory I’ve read a couple of Goodreads reviews on the Order of Darkness series, and I’ve garnered that Philippa Gregory fans (Philippans? Philipinos?) are not fans of the series. I can’t vouch for that, given that I’ve only ever read the said series, and I’m admittedly not a fan of books two through four (which is basically every book of the series published to date, exempting the first), but Changeling is a book I liked enough to attempt to handwrite it in a notebook back when I was 12 (I gave up after, like, two sentences because my hand started cramping), and also to try and write a ripoff, featuring an angsty young preteen girl with (short) wavy black hair and eyes like limpid tears (gee, I wonder who that could be) (my eyes are brown, though; I dunno why I wrote the self-insert to be blue-eyed).

The Secret History – Donna Tartt My first foray into dark academia; sadly, reading The Secret History before any other books in the (sub?)genre made every other book pale in comparison. What’s so special about The Secret History for me is that I hate every main character, with passion. Each and every one of them; not just Bunny, but Richard and Henry and Charles and Camilla and Francis and Julian can all go fuck themselves for all I care- but I find them so fascinating. The story and the way it’s written is pretty over-the-top dramatic and my struggling bilingual arse had to look up every tenth word or so, but I adore it with every fibre of my being. Well, the leftover fibres of my being that aren’t simping over Kim Seungmin.

A Series of Unfortunate Events – Lemony Snicket Does this count as the first step of my emo phase? Shoutout to the girl in seventh grade I sat next to for, like, two weeks, who lent me The Wide Window and got me hooked on the series.

Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll This entire book feels so trippy.

The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett It’s corny and Everything Works Out Swell for the Goody Guys in the End! in period-typical book fashion, but it got me through many a boring class in the spring of my ninth year of personhood, so I’ll always have a soft spot for Mary and Dickon and Colin and the rest of the gang. It also inspired me to Cultivate, and there are two pretty bougainvillea plants in my garden thanks to one Mary Lennox.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post – Emily M. Danforth Cameron Post: the lesbian baddie we all aspire to be.

Vicky Angel – Jacqueline Wilson Yet another shoutout to my seventh-grade seatmate for lending me her copy of Vicky Angel, which I read under my covers like it was a bloody nudie mag.

A Song of Ice and Fire – George R. R. Martin Where’s Winds of Winter, George?

Turtles All the Way Down – John Green Paper Towns used to be my favorite John Green book until I read Turtles All the Way Down last year. I adore John Green’s writing style (maybe not the #deep #woke #sadboi #middleclass #white #male #cisgender #heterosexual #personalityofabreadroll leads in a solid chunk of his books, though) and okay, so maybe Davis fits all of the above, but my true faves are Aza and Daisy and their dynamic.

To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee I keep calling this ‘HOW to Kill a Mockingbird’ in conversations and it gets really fucking inconvenient.

Coraline – Neil Gaiman I just wish I’d read this sooner than I did.

#book review #harry potter #coraline #john green #changeling #turtles all the way down #to kill a mockingbird #game of thrones #cameron post #vicky angel #the secret history #a series of unfortunate events #the book thief #anne frank #lgbt #historical fiction #fantasy #books

[innittowinit]

Tommyinnit is going to be okay

summary: With lockdown, expectations and grades constantly seeming to be lower than desired, Tommy starts to give up on school. Luckily he has his makeshift family to help him out.

word count: 1778

notes: hhh im super sorry to those of you who were waiting for me to finish the next chapter to my amusement park fic, i was working on it but i'm feeling kinda :/ so i wrote this instead to get da feelings out. Updates should be back to normal next friday. also my birthday is soon!!! 22nd pog!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna be 16 and i am :D about that

AO3

If you asked him, he’d say he didn’t care. He’d joke about how bad he was doing, call himself stupid, play into the grades and act like they were all he was capable of.  

Truth is, he knew he could be better, he knew he was expected to be better, so when he was given his report card and saw that he was scoring mediocre in most subject and even failing a few, he swallowed the lump in his throat and laughed, telling his friends that he didn’t know what he expected.

School was tough but he was expected to be tougher, when he had pages upon pages of chemistry homework so hard that  it made him cry, he didn’t tell anyone because that wasn’t what was expected of him. He stayed up for nights on end just trying to grasp at a passing grade but most of the time was spent panicking anyway, so why was anyone surprised when he started to give up?

When he stopped handing in assignments, when he stopped revising, when he stopped turning up to class, why were they all so surprised? They had watched his downfall with front row seats and now were gasping as they saw him drowning in the pool they put him in without teaching him to swim.

So here he was, locked in his bedroom, the shadows of the overly optimistic boy he painted himself as lingered as he looked around. It made him sick to his stomach, to lie to everyone like that. He knew for a fact if anyone from school watched his content they’d know he was lying. It was hard to differentiate himself sometimes, from the boy who just wanted to make his parents proud to the boy who roleplayed on minecraft servers. Now don’t get me wrong, they were both very much him, he just wished he could let his followers know that he wasn’t that happy all the time. It was only when he wasn’t being suffocated by his own academic failures.

Giving up was a stupid idea, it only made his grades worse but he justified it by saying that at least he was failing on purpose now. There could be no disappointment or shame if he didn’t try, if he told everyone that he just didn't care about grades and he could get better ones if he wanted he would be so much less pathetic than if he said that he had put in everything and still done badly. It didn’t work though, he was self-sabotaging. With every failing grade his self esteem fell further and further until he was sure it was gone completely. He didn’t feel stupid, he just felt like everyone else was smarter than him. He thought that maybe, if he tried hard enough, he could get himself out of this funk, but then again that required showing people that he was working hard and if he still failed after that he was sure he’d feel far worse than he already did.

Talking about this to someone was out of the picture too. Aside from the fact that he’d rather eat a live slug than make someone worry about him, he knew he’d just seem lazy and pathetic if he brought it up to anyone anyway. He just didn’t know how to explain that he’d got so overwhelmed that it broke him, it felt like his whole life he wished that people would stop overestimating him.

He just wasn’t good enough.

A knock on his bedroom door brought him out of his self-deprecating spiral, causing him to only curl in on himself, under the blankets, even further. No doubt it was his parents here to nag him about school again.

“Go away mum I don’t care! It doesn’t even matter” he huffed as he pulled his phone out,with the intention to ignore his family through looking at instagram.

“Tommy it’s not your mum” He heard a man’s voice speak from behind the door. “Look it’s me, Wilbur, Phil and Techno are here too. Your parents said you’ve been feeling pretty down lately so we just wanted to hang out. If talking is too much we can just play a game”

Silence.

Tommy took a moment to mull the words over, it stung that his parents had told them about what was going on but he could help but feel a little special that they had traveled so far to come cheer up him specifically. Especially Techno, he wasn’t sure if he should feel honoured or guilty that he had to fly out, deciding that both was probably the best option, he made a metal note to pay him back for the plane ticket.  

“Listen Tommy” He heard another man’s voice as he silently walked towards the door “It’ll be okay in the end, I don’t know what you’re going through right now, and you only need to tell us if you want to, but I promise it’ll be okay. Life has a way of making things fit into place in the end”

Biting his lip,Tommy twisted the key to the left, taking a deep breath before opening the door. He knew he looked terrible, his hair was greasy and all over the place, he had a pepsi stain on the shirt he had been wearing for three days straight, and he knew for a fact he smelled unpleasant. Despite all these less than ideal features, the three men all gave him a hug as soon as they saw him.   Each one of them had sincere smiles on their faces, they didn’t look like they were here to pity him at least.

Still without saying a word, Tommy stepped to the side to invite them into his messy room, before going to sit on his bed again. Coke and Pepsi cans were overflowing from his bin and he knew the plates of half eaten dinners were starting to smell, still though, they weren’t judging him. Techno and Phil sat either side of him and Wilbur sprawled himself out at the foot of the bed, as much as he wanted to keep up the silence and grumpiness, he couldn’t help but gasp a little, feeling his throat go tight and his eyes heat up with fresh tears, when Techno wrapped an arm around him.

How long had it been since he was hugged like this? It wasn’t like the greeting hug he had just gotten, it was so much more sincere and heartfelt. A ghost of a smile hinted at his lips.

As more silent tears dripped down his cheek, Techno rubbing his arm soothingly, he finally realised that he just wanted someone to genuinely care about him. He didn’t mind high expectations if they came from a good place; whenever Wilbur spoke about how Tommy would be so much bigger than he already was, he didn’t feel pressured, he felt motivated. He knew Wilbur genuinely believed in him and more importantly would still care about him if he didn’t live up to what he expected, in contrast to his parents who he honestly wasn’t sure if he had unconditional love from or not.

That’s what the problem was. Finally, he had Techno, Phil and Wil all here because they loved him, and he knew they wouldn’t judge him. They wouldn’t hate him for failing an exam, they wouldn’t mock him for getting overwhelmed, they certainly would love him no matter how bad he messed up.

Right in that moment, he stopped caring about whether or not he’d make people worry, he stopped caring about any possibly negative opinions of him because he knew he was safe, and he leant his head against Techno’s shoulder, crying out all the stress and insecurities that had lead to his spiral in the first place. It wasn't long before Phil joined in, wrapping an arm around him from the other side, and then came Wilbur, who was practically laying against all three of them as he tried to hug him from where he had been sat.

“It’s a lot of work and it’s a lot of expectations…..y’know I’m just not smart enough to live up to what they want me to do”

The blonde choked out his words, it felt great not to have to hold back his feelings for once, to finally have people who would listen. Really though, they had been there all along, his judgement had just been too clouded that he hadn’t realised.

“Listen Toms”

He heard Phil sigh sympathetically,

“You’re a smart boy, if school is making you feel like this, maybe the way you’re learning is the problem, I know it’s super generic advice but if you can find a teacher you trust you should be able to talk about what alternatives there are. As for expectations, fuck ‘em. You’re doing your own thing and you’re doing it well. You’ve already surpassed everyone's expectations.”

He felt Phil move over so Wilbur could sit with them properly, with pretty much 4 men all sitting on the same section of the bed, it was a squish but they made it work.

“Tommy man, I was a massive nerd in school. I was such a perfectionist that I’d panic about any grade lower than like 95%, I didn’t even have any expectations I was trying to live up to, I just wanted to be the best at everything. Anyway I’ve had more ruts like what you’re going through than I can count so I’m speaking from experience when I say, I promise you it’s gonna be fine. Tommy you’ll be okay”

Tommy didn’t bother replying, he was too choked up from the sheer vulnerability and love that he didn’t want to open his mouth and risk any noise coming out.  

“Big T,” Wilbur chuckled as he practically climbed over Phil to see him properly, “I failed half my GCSE’s and I’m doing great. Try your hardest but if things go tits up just know that you’re life won't just be over”

Tommy just nodded, wiping at his eyes as he leant his head against Techno. For the first time in a long time he felt loved.  

“We actually had a plan.” Wilbur had taken Phil’s spot, on the bed, completely now, and the man was left to crouch next to it. “We’ll clean up in here while you go take a shower and then we can watch Up. We made Techno bring some of those American sweets over and we also got a load from Tesco on our way here. How’s that sound?”

Again, Tommy nodded his head. He was going to be okay.

#tommyinnit #wilbur soot #Philza #technoblade #sleepy bois inc #sbi #fanfic #Emotional Hurt/ Comfort #school

[tarysande]

Some things I’m learning on this personal ADHD-diagnosis journey:

Some doctors will dismiss you when you admit that, yes, you got straight As in school and were never a classroom disturbance. 

But that doesn’t erase the truth:

I got straight As because I liked school, liked learning, and wasn’t bored.

When I was bored in the classroom, I wrote novels instead of paying attention; that was quiet. I daydreamed all the time; so quiet. After being caught at this once or twice, my ADHD-sensitivity to criticism (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) clicked in and I realized if I answered a question at the beginning of class, the teacher would ignore me for the rest and never put me on the spot. I slipped headphones under my long hair and listened to CDs. Do you know how many times I listened to Tori Amos’s “Winter” on repeat in math class? How many times I invented “Student Council business” to get out of a class that was boring me to rage or tears? Do they care that, even though you got straight As, you missed more than a month of school days in your senior year because you just couldn’t deal with it anymore?

(Absences, I learned, mean nothing if you have straight As. Lies about how you spend your time mean nothing. Listening to the same song over and over and over to drown out the boredom means nothing.)

They don’t ask if all those papers and assignments that got those good grades were completed in a panic the night before after breaking down crying because how could I be so stupid, I knew this was going to happen, why can’t I stop procrastinating, why can’t I just have more willpower, why I am I such a failure? They don’t ask if you can’t finish work without a deadline, and that if the deadline is too vague or far away it means nothing except that you have longer to procrastinate until you panic. They don’t ask how many times you’ve started something and been unable to finish even though you want to, you really really want to. But you can’t. You know it doesn’t make sense. Knowing changes nothing.

Did you get bad grades? Were you a classroom disturbance? What were your report cards like?

They don’t ask if you’re living up to your potential. They don’t ask if knowing you’re not living up to your potential is the slow poison that taints every other aspect of your life.

#

Some doctors will say, “ADHD involves impulsivity. Were you promiscuous, did you have problems with drugs or alcohol?” And you will say, “No.” They will dismiss you.

They will not ask if you have a history of overspending, of impulse buying even when your brain says, “Sweetheart, you know you can’t afford that.” They won’t ask if you’re able to be patient when you want attention or feedback or praise. They won’t ask if you’ve pretended that some new piece of clothing was older, or bought second-hand. They won’t ask how much of those university loans you spent not on tuition, but on feeding the pleasure center of your brain that just wants more. More pretty dresses, more video games, more chocolate.

They will not ask how much time you spend on the internet, refreshing pages because you just can’t focus on anything else, and refreshing pages is easy, and might mean a little dopamine hit. They will not ask about the intensity of your interests. When you say the word “hyperfixation” they look uncomfortable, like you know a word you’re not supposed to know. Like they might have to take you seriously.

They’ll still dismiss you, though. You got good grades, you’re put together, you’re not fidgeting.

#

Some doctors will interrupt you when you’re trying to explain something, and yes, your explanation involves 23 diversions because you’re trying to really explain it. Really explain it so they understand. They will hold up a hand. They will snap, “Stop talking,” and your rejection-sensitive dysphoria will cripple you. You will want to vomit. You will start to cry and pretend you’re not crying. They will say, “I think you have anxiety, take these drugs. They will say, you are depressed, take these ones.” They will not listen when you say, “But the anxiety and depression have a common root; why won’t you listen to me?” They will not listen when you say, “Why are you treating the symptoms but not the underlying cause?”

#

Some doctors will treat you like you’re a drug-seeker, especially if you come in with too much knowledge (because you like learning, because you’ve always liked learning, because maybe you can’t control much of anything but you can read, read, read and cling to that knowledge like a lifeline; you can always be clever. You can always be smart. Less rejection that way.). They may narrow their eyes like you want medication for a nefarious purpose when all you really want is to be able to turn the key in the ignition and start the car. The car is good; there’s nothing mechanically wrong. The tank is full. But without a key, you cannot turn the damn thing on. And because your brain is not always your ally in these things, it whispers, “You’re imagining this. You have the key. It’s in your pocket. Just take it out.” But you don’t have a pocket. You don’t have a key. Telling yourself you do, you just need to find it, just need to manufacture it out of thin air does not make it true.

I’ve learned that to get help, the right kind of help, you sometimes have to turn yourself inside out. You have to somehow accomplish the things your condition makes most difficult: you must accept rejection, you must persevere beyond what you think possible, you must stand up for yourself over and over and get used to disagreeing with people trying to dismiss you, you must not let yourself be silenced.

I have a doctor who is listening to me now. It’s slow-going. It’s frustrating. It’s hard. The last year--more--of trying to make myself understood has been exhausting. But then, hasn’t my whole life been exhausting? Of course it has. I got good grades, I wasn’t a classroom disturbance. No one knew I was suffering. I slipped through the cracks.

The car’s been sitting idle a long time. I’ve probably done some damage to the clutch. But maybe I have a key. Maybe the car will shudder to life when I turn it.

#tara talks adhd #adhd #tara talks personal stuff #tara talks health stuff

[ladybrythwensinclair]

Hey y’all. :)

First, I want to say hello to all my new followers. It’s a delight and I really appreciate your readership. I look forward to posting some content that you’ll enjoy and find uplifting.

Secondly, my gods, y’all, the last few weeks have been horrid. First I caught this awful cold that gave me bronchitis and a sinus infection. That had me sick for about two and a half weeks. Then my kids caught the thing and they were flat on their backs for about a week. Everybody had to get a covid-19 test and we all tested negative.  So, the kids go back to school and report cards come out. One is just this side of honor roll and the other’s right behind him grade wise. We’re real proud of that. At the same time, the teachers left some notes that confused the living daylights out of us and we’re trying to make sense of them. We literally laughed out loud at the notes telling us that the boys tend to daydream and focus a little too much on their imaginary situations. We told them last year this was going to be a thing and they had to keep the kids on close watch. The teachers said “Oh, don’t worry, we’ve got a plan.” That plan is not working because the boys aren’t interested in what they’re offering them to stop daydreaming. It’s a bit hilarious in a horrible way.

We’re figuring as long as their grades are ok, the classroom management situation is their problem. The kids have been staying on top of homework to the point that they get it all done in study hall. I’m thankful for this because I forgot a lot of the basics of algebra and this new method of teaching it makes me want to climb the walls out of frustration.

My third bit is actually some good news (kinda like the good news about my boys’ grades). I’ve almost got the print edition of the Lokean devotional complete. I’ve put that project on hold for a little bit while I write a novel for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I’m writing an urban fantasy novel for a friend whose got a plan for getting these books that I wrote based in the setting of the game he designed published. I did the first three last year. I’m working on book four and then I’m going to finish that devotional. Progress is happening. You’ll see my blog work starting to pick back up soon. It is currently a matter of scheduling all of my writing time. Give me a few days and I’ll have more content up on my main blogs soon. Thank you again for your readership and your patience. I really appreciate all y’all.

[zayray030]

5 times Jason surprised the Titans and 1 time they surprised him

Chapter Title: You're a nerd!?

Chapter: 4/6

Summary: Kory and Dick go to their first parent-teacher conference. They're surprised by what Jason's teacher has to say about him.

Today was the parent-teacher conference and both Dick and Kory were nervous. This would be the first time that they have ever done this and they wanted it to be perfect.

When they arrived at the school they both took deep breaths and marched into the school, making sure to show an air of control over the situation even though they were both panicking inside.

When they got to Gar's, Rachel, Jason's and Rose's teacher they both took a deep breath again and walked in. Thankfully they had picked the last meeting to go to to make sure that they got every little detail.

“Hello! Mr Grayson, Miss Anders. So lovely to see you. The kids talk about you all the time!” exclaimed the teacher. She was a small, plump woman, clearly in her late 50s or early 60s with whitish hair and laugh lines.

“It's good to meet you too, miss.” said Kory, ever the polite one and held her hand out to shake.

“Oh, please. Call me Cathy.” said the sweet old woman and shook the woman's hand before turning to Dick who had the sense to hold his hand out. “Now I can see where they all got their manners from.”

“Yeah, so…the kids?” asked Kory sitting down in a chair in front of the desk.

“Of course. They're all amazing. But there's just something about Jason that's so-” before Cathy could continue Dick held his hand out.

“If you want to keep him last, I understand.” said Dick. Cathy smiled again and nodded her agreement.

The next 30 minutes or so were spent talking about Gar, Rachel and Rose's academics.

Gar seemed to do well in just about everything except for science. Not a problem. We can work through that.’ thought Dick as he continued smiling and nodding when appropriate.

Rachel's only flaw was her social interactions and English. “Well she had Gar, Rose and maybe Jason. She'll be fine.” thought Dick.

Rose excels in everything except for people skills. Those Dick will struggle a bit with but he would get through it.

“So Jason. You seemed a bit apprehensive to start with him.” said Kory nervously.

“I was thinking Jason should move up a grade.” said the teacher, unaware she had just dropped the biggest bombshell on the two young adults.

“Why would he need to move up a grade.” Dick finally said when he finally felt confident in his ability to use his mouth without looking like a goldfish.

“Well because he's top of the year, of course. Now mind you, we don't normally do this, so Jason is the exception.”

“Oh? Would you care to show us a few of his works?” asked Kory, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow.

“Oh why of course! This one is a personal favourite. I even sent a copy to his father!” exclaimed the old woman, looking through her drawers before finally finding what she was looking for. She slipped out a thin file and handed it over to them.

The two young adults couldn't help but feel tears come to their eyes as they read it.

“It was a class project. I remember that both Rachel and Gar wrote down Starfire and Rose had written down Wonder Woman. The class had followed what they were doing and did different League members as well. Except for this little boy. He wrote about his father. He wrote about the man who would take him out for ice cream and gave him a home. The man who loved him unconditionally.” said the old woman, tears coming to her eyes.

“May we have a copy please?” requested Kory as she tried to wipe her tears as discreetly as possible but Dick had no shame and continued to let the tears fall down.

“Of course, young lady! I have several other works that Jason's done. A class favourite is where he talked about the pros and cons of Shakespeare plays and how it helped build societies expectations. He's also very talented at his other subjects.” rambled the old woman as she looked around her drawer again and produced a few stacks of paper and held them out. “Here. Have a little read of them. So what do you say? Let him skip a grade?”

“We'll have to go home and ask Jason what he would like, ma'am.” Dick finally said as he quickly rubbed his eyes and stood up, holding the folder securely in his arms.

“Of course. May I also have the…” she trailed off, hands indicating the essay and Kory quickly gave it to her. “Jason is lucky to have you two look after him.” she said as she waved them off.

“Nonsense. We're lucky that we get to look after him.” said Kory, brushing away the woman's compliments as she and Dick quickly got out.

“We are so going to take him to the library one day, aren't we?” Kory finally asked when her and Dick got in the car.

“Duh.” Duck replied, shooting her a grin.

~Later, at Titan's Tower.~

“So how did it go?” asked Dawn the moment they entered into the tower.

“Okay, first where are the kids? And two where's my coffee?” asked Kory as she sat down near the kitchen island.

“To answer your first question they're in their rooms and for your second, here.” replied Donna, setting a mug of soffe in front of the alien princess.

“So how bad was it? Dickface still hasn't spoken.” asked Hank, nodding his head over at Dick who was still clutching the file protectively in his arms.

“Oh it went well. Gar just needs help with science, Rachel her people and English skills and Rose with her people skills.” replied Kory taking a sip of her coffee.

“And Jason?” asked Donna worriedly.

“We need to ask him if he wants to skip a grade.” muttered Dick sliding next to Kory and putting the file in between them.

There was a silence before the three other adults burst into laughter.

“Good one, Dick.” wheezed out Hank.

“Oh? What did we say that was so funny?” asked Kory, raising an eyebrow at them. They quickly stopped at that and turned to shoot them incredulous looks.

“Please! Have you seen his report?” asked Hank.

“Have you?” Dick fired back. They all just stayed silent before Dick whispered. “Why would he not want us to see this?”

“It might have something to do with the streets.” said Dawn softy. When they sent her a questioning gaze she elaborated. “Think about it. On the streets the most important thing to know was when the soup kitchen was going to open. It was to know which person to dodge and which person to follow. Knowing maths and science wasn't. You'll be left out for the dogs.”

“And all those times I called him dumb or stupid.” whispered Hank almost horrified.

Before anyone could say anything else, the kids had begun to trickle into the kitchen.

“Hey Dick! Hey Kory!” exclaimed Gar happily, running over to give his parental figures a hug.

“Hey Gar.” said Kory while Dick ruffled his hair. Rachel said a small hey before hugging them both briefly and running of to get some coffee. Both Rose and Jason just nodded at them.

“So? How did the meeting go?” asked Rachel.

“Um, very, very well.” said Kory but she was sending Dick nerves looks.

“Actually Jason, we wanted to talk to you about something. The teacher had suggested that you live grades.” said Dick and he honestly should have said it better.

“So he's getting moved down?” asked Rachel.

“So I guess I can't call you a nerd anymore.” muttered Rose boredly, gladly accepting a cup of coffee from Rachel.

“Aww, it's okay Jason! We can still hang out and stuff.” said Gar, looking sympathetically at his friend.

Jason didn't say anything he just nodded but everyone could still see the kicked puppy look on his face. Kory, however, turned to glare at Dick.

“Do you actually know how to say anything properly, Grayson!?” she snapped at him before turning over to march over to Jason. “What Dick is trying to say is that the teacher wants to know is you're okay with skipping a grade.” she said laying her hands over Jason's shoulders.

“HUH!?!” yelped the teens in the kitchen.

“I can skip a grade!!?” asked Jason excitedly.

“Yup! It's not often this happens but-” she was cut off by Jason's excited whoop.

“Fuck yes I want to!” he practically screamed.

“Well that's settled then. And while we're at it then you can explain why you haven't given a single one of your report cards and why haven't told us that you're a straight A student.” said Dick, giving a look that clearly told him that there would be no escape out of this conversation.

“...oh, shit.”

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 5

Part 6

This one shot was slightly inspired by @ladypaperwriterson and her headcanon about Jason writing Bruce as his hero.

#jason todd #batman #robin #dick grayson #bruce wayne #dctv #kory anders #dick x kory #kori anders #koriand'r #dawn granger #hank hall #donna troy #rachel roth #garfield lynns #garfield logan #gar logan #bruce wayne is a good parent #bruce wayne is a good dad #Jason is a nerd #Jason has straight A's #he's just very insecure about it #dc titans #titans netflix #rose wilson #titans imagine #robin jason todd #jason todd imagine #Nice teacher