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startanewdream · 3 years

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A short moment after the battle, written as an answer to: 1. Harry dealing with emotional people; 2. "How was it?" "Wet".; and 3. Ginny is too tough to cry.

Ginny is crying.

It’s not the first time Harry sees her crying, but somehow this time feels more personal, more invasive.

There is a sob, a self-contained one that speaks of how she doesn’t want anyone to hear it, how this is her moment of sorrow alone. Harry thinks of seeing Ginny at the funeral that morning, acting as a rock for everyone - helping her mother get dressed, supporting George, making sure all her family was fed and offering Harry her hand in a gesture that spoke of how she didn’t blame him at all for what had happened.

He always thinks of her as tough, not in a harsh way, but in a practical way, as if she doesn’t want to look weak, doesn’t want to look younger and smaller than she is. He understands it. Ginny hates to be underestimated, hates when others think of her as powerless.

Which is probably why she hung on all day, putting a brave face for everyone, helping her family, until she could have a private moment for herself to let all her feelings overflow her. Quiet. Independent. On her own.

Harry thinks of everything they talked before, of explaining his departure and his quest, and then of Ginny telling him how things were in Hogwarts that year, how they’ve been hanging on by a thread - a thread that, if he gathered everything everyone had said, was carried by Neville, Luna and Ginny. Ginny had always been good at hiding her feelings - she understood too much what pouring out her soul into someone could do - and Harry could guess how she had refused to show any weakness, how she had stubbornly refused to bow down to anyone.

She is strong, that he knows without a question.

That’s why seeing her laying against the pillows on her bed - her face wrinkled, eyes closed in pain, the tears flooding silently on her face, for once succumbing to her grief - seem as indecent as if he caught her undressed. The tears flow like a stream, soft, crystal clear, marking her porcelain skin, falling into her lap with a quiet fatality.

The thing is Harry never had much experience with crying people. The Dursleys taught him that he wasn’t supposed to cry, that he should swallow any unhappiness for no comfort would be provided. Emotional people scared him in a way that no deadly threat ever did; he never knew what he was supposed to do - Ron would suggest a cup of tea, Hermione would suggest a talk and none of those options seemed fine to Harry.

He remembers how it was with Cho, how he could never understand what she needed, how lost he was about her feelings - all of her grief and confusion that Hermione needed to explain patiently to him just like she would explain a particular difficult charm. And even with Hermione, his best friend, he could never provide her with the support she needed - he thinks of that time on their quest for Horcruxes, when they wouldn’t talk for days - as if there was some barrier that made him unfit to deal with other people’s emotions.

Maybe he is broken.

Harry knows he could go away, could leave without Ginny even knowing he was there. But the truth is, as terrified as he is, he doesn’t want to.

He doesn’t know how to do it, but it’s Ginny. He can’t leave her.

So he opens the door of her room, making enough noise for her to know he is there, and Ginny opens her eyes with a start. They are red, opaque, and Harry thinks suddenly of those golden days on Hogwarts grounds, when the tears he’d see on her face were of mirth, of a joke they shared, of the pure joy of being together.

He’d rather have those happy tears, but he won’t run away from her unhappy ones. He wants to be there for her in all of those moments. He’s done being apart from her.

Ginny is trembling, her lips curved into an ashamed grimace as if she feels bad for being caught in that moment of sorrow. Her mouth opens and Harry can already hear how she will say she is fine, she will be down in a minute, she was just too caught in everything that happened today but she is fine, don't worry about her.

She will insist a lot that she is fine until everyone starts believing it.

It’s what Harry would do anyway, and in this aspect, he thinks they are a lot alike.

So he sits next to her in bed, raising slowly the back of his hand to touch her face, asking for a permission that Ginny grants him with a tiny nod of her head. Her skin is wet, cold; he dries her tears and Ginny closes her eyes for a moment, leaning into his touch.

Then she holds his hand, stopping his movement, and opens her eyes, taking a deep breath.

‘I am -’

‘No, you are not’, Harry whispers, knowing and thinking of everyone that’s been lost. There are too many names there. ‘But you’ll be’.

Ginny looks at him, quiet desperation in her eyes and Harry tries to show her that is telling the truth. It won’t be tomorrow, it won’t be easy and it won’t ever truly stop hurting, but this grief she is feeling now doesn’t last forever; she will learn to live with it, to shape her life around it and to keep going. One day after another and, if she allows it, Harry hopes to be there with her in each one of those days.

After a very long time, she nods. The tears are still falling from the corner of her eyes, slower now, and since Harry can’t go away, he does the opposite: he pulls her into his arms and Ginny accepts his hug, burying herself deep into his chest. Harry is not sure of what he is supposed to do, but there are things that seem wrong (pushing her away, standing there still), so he lets his hand caress the strands of her hair, softly, brushing her back, and then he lies down in her bed, still keeping her - safely - on his arms.

He doesn’t know what he is doing, but at least this feels right.

His shirt is damped with her tears when Ginny breaks apart a little. Her eyes are still red and swollen, but her fierce expression Harry knows too well. Her gaze falls briefly to his lips and then back at him, demanding and pleading. Harry watches her, the tears still glistening on her eyelashes, before he moves closer, brushing her lips with his, a soft kiss that lasts a few seconds.

It’s a kiss that tastes salty and that speaks of grief and sorrow and the hope things will get better.

He breaks apart quietly, places a soft kiss on the top of her head, and hugs her closer.

#hinny #comfort #hinny fanfic #harry potter #t: fanfiction #ginny weasley #i don't really know what's the point of this #except being fluffy i guess #just some comfort for when things are dark

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levis-little-nuggie · 3 years

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How the brothers would react to catching f!MC riding a suction-cupped dildo on the communal HOL washing machine

I didn't think through how much I hate this idea, but I fuckin ran with it so here we are and I'm not apologizing. However the title is still a work in progress. I am accepting ideas.

This first one is Lucifer's reaction.

Warnings: little bit of blood (in a sexy way), he calls MC some vulgar names >:( but he apologizes so I guess it's okay, fem!MC because I was feeling self-indulgent.

Rating: explicit 😌

Word count (so far): 2,628

Carrying the weight of the hamper on her hip, MC closed the laundry room for behind her and padded over to the oversized washing machine. It was laundry day for her and living in a mansion with seven demon brothers didn't make this any easier. Their keen sense of smell had her on edge about keeping certain articles of clothing cleaner, washing them more frequently than when she lived in the human world.

She threw in her load of pajamas, towels, and underwear, including the pair she had been currently wearing, leaving her in an oversized shirt she'd "borrowed" from Beel. MC mixed in the detergent and fabric softener, and started the cycle. As the hot water started pouring into the bin, MC double-checked that the door was closed before pulling out the suction-cup dildo she'd hidden in the laundry bin and stuck it to the top of the washer. MC nudged the step stool closer to the machine, applied a generous amount of lube to the toy, clambered on top of the washer, and positioned herself over the dildo.

Thanks to previous instances in the laundry room, MC was fully aware of both the machine's durability to hold her weight comfortably, and its vigorous shaking when loads were unbalanced. Asmo had winked at her when she came running to him for help for taming the large appliance. "You could say, with a bit of creativity, it'd be the next best thing to sitting on my face, hon."

He'd been right. Unfortunately, this also meant that Asmo knew what laundry day meant to MC and she already felt mortified sharing this dirty secret with Asmo so MC tried her best to schedule her trip to the laundry room for whenever he wasn't home. Luckily enough, it seemed the rest of the brothers were completely unaware of her sinful indulgence and this activity quickly became addicting.

Having already been wet from the excitement, MC's fingers slid into her, pumping and scissoring to stretch herself open. She pressed the tip of the toy against her opening, biting her lip to stifle the noises she wanted to make as her fingers moved to circle over her clit, squeezing her eyes shut as her hips lowered onto the toy. Taking a few moments to breathe from the size of the dildo filling her up, MC maneuvered her legs to shift from her kneeling position sitting on the machine, toy fully sheathed inside, her ass against the lid, and legs hanging over the top.

Her hands trembled from both the excitement and the warmth that stirred in her lower abdomen as she reached for her phone; the machine would be still for awhile as the clothes soaked, but MC loved to fantasize she was cock-warming any one of the brothers until they both gave in and he fucked her mercilessly.

Lazily circling her hips to feel the toy move around inside her, MC mindlessly nibbled on her thumb while flicking thru Devilgram. Scrolling down the feed, she stopped to watch a video Mammon had posted, the audio flowing through the DDD's speakers a teaser for an upcoming song he was releasing. Turning up the volume on her device, MC let the video repeat as she felt herself getting hyped for the track to release. After double-tapping to like the post and leaving an energetic comment, MC opened the music app on her DDD and shuffled the playlist she made of the brothers' songs to stream while she opened a game on her phone to complete the daily task while waiting for the washer cycle to start.

The above set-up will be the same for all the brothers. Below this point will be Lucifer's reaction.

Another prank from the Lucifer You S*ck team left the eldest with some ruffled feathers and an ever-growing coffee stain on his RAD uniform. A vein pulsed on his forehead as he sauntered to the laundry room.

What he wasn't expecting, however, was to hear MC singing along to Satan's song behind the laundry room door. The eldest brother hesitated, his grip tightening on the doorknob as he debated waiting for her laundry to finish but found his brows furrowing as she stopped singing, the machine started its spin cycle, and the faintest of moans floated through the door.

"What in Diavolo's name-" Lucifer opened the door to investigate but halted as he took in the scene before him. MC's eyes had widened, staring directly at Lucifer in a way that perfectly explained the human idiom "like a deer stuck in the headlights." Her mouth was agape but quickly snapped shut as she tried to stifle her panting, legs crossing themselves in an attempt to look innocent, but her white-knuckle grip on the edge of the washer had him feeling alarmed.

"MC, what's going on? Are you feeling unwell?" The machine had started rocking as it began its spin cycle, but Lucifer couldn't figure out why MC was sitting on top of the washer. Was she feeling ill? Her forehead had a sheen of sweat, did she have a fever? Lucifer dropped his clean uniform and crossed the room so he was directly infront of MC, reaching out to feel her heated face, completely disregarding her feeble attempts to assure him she was fine.

'Lucifer! I'm fine, just doing some laundry' was what she wanted to say. However, with the machine rocking, the dildo was rubbing right up against her g-spot and she was fighting the urge to grind her hips. She managed to sound out the first half of his name, but the way his gorgeous, ruby eyes looked into hers with concern, his facial features that were carved by God himself, and a single thrust against that spot had her shivering, finishing the rest of his name in a sultry moan.

The Avatar of Pride blinked as the cogs in his brain stuttered trying to piece together what was happening, his hand froze in mid-air as he had been reaching out to feel the temperature of her skin. The machine continued to rock and MC couldn't find the strength to pretend she wasn't riding a dildo on the communal washing machine and felt her control starting to slip. MC couldn't read the expression on his face and averted her gaze, trying to deny that him watching her like this was turning her on even more.

Seeing his hand stretched out, MC leaned forward the small distance to press her cheek against his palm, biting her lip as she stole a glance at the demon. His eyes remained transfixed, dazed, but he didn't pull his hand away and MC was feeling a little more daring than usual. Tilting her head, she pressed his thumb against her lip, her eyes flickering again to his own for barely half a second, and closed her lips around the tip of his thumb, running her tongue along the seam of the leather. His lack of response coaxed MC on to keep going. Her tongue drew the digit in further, lips gliding over the leather, the material fueling new fantasies she'd previously overlooked.

As the dildo continued its steady rocking, MC felt her control melting away and frustration slowly started to build. Why hadn't he moved? Surely it'd be better if the eldest had scoffed in disgust and turned away than to have him just staring at her like this. She swirled her tongue around his thumb, lips hollowing as she sucked, trying to illicit some sort of response from the demon.

However, he remanded unmoving. MC felt an array of emotions ranging from frustration, shame, embarrassment, anger, all mixed with the sexual desire raging thru her, MC felt tears prick her eyes. She released the thumb from between her lips with an audible pop and faced Lucifer with a snarl; which he found endearing and as threatening as the chihuahua.

"I don't do live performances. Either touch me or leave." MC made a show or grabbing her breast from under her shirt, letting the pleasure from the toy fill her senses and began grounding her hips against the toy as the spin cycle picked up speed. Getting ready to bark at him again, MC yelped as the shirt was torn open and a pair of hands gripped her hips keeping her still but the dildo continued moving with the machine.

"I didn't realize our little human was such a naughty slut. Really. Sticking a toy on our washing machine? Are you that desperate to be fucked?" Nails bit into her flesh as his voice called out her sins, all traces of her bravado gone, replaced with an overwhelming sense of embarrassment and shame. MC tried hiding her face but he still saw the tears that threatened to spill over before crawl down her face and cooed.

"There's nothing to feel ashamed over, my dove. I apologize if I was too vulgar." Lucifer lifted her hips and she squirmed, not ready for him to see the full extent of the situation; the idea of the dildo coated in her juices waving about on top of the poor washing machine only intensified her embarrassment. However, before she could speak out, Lucifer dropped her hips causing her to slam herself back down on the toy. Stars erupted across her vision as the demon repeated the action, drinking in her reactions and felt his erection strain against his pants.

"This carnal desire is human nature. If anything, it's our own fault for not considering such a basic need." His fingers trailed along her neck, tapping against her pulse as if in thought. The hum of the washer broke through the moment and Lucifer clicked his tongue behind his teeth. He reached behind her to turn off the machine and lifted MC off the machine, and the dildo.

MC didn't get a chance to wince from the manhandling as her lips were immediately covered with his own and she felt him pulling her close to him, his hands urging her to wrap her legs around him. She couldn't match the fire he was pouring into her fast enough and he growled, simultaneously smacking her ass and grinding his erection against her folds. This new side of the prideful demon caught her off guard, but the smack brought her back with a fervor.

Her hands fumbled with the buttons on his collar and he kneaded where he spanked her, causing MC to mewl into the kiss. One of his hands moved up to hold the back of her neck as he walked to pin her against a wall. Her legs squeezed his hips tighter and he reached up to break open the collar of his shirt, shedding the clothing haphazardly somewhere else in the room. Meanwhile, MC moved to undo his pants, reaching into his trousers to palm his erection. Lucifer hissed and grabbed her wrists, pinning them to her stomach with one hand.

Releasing her lips, Lucifer latched onto her throat, biting down on the skin above her pulse and positioned himself at her entrance, hesitating for only a moment to allow her the chance to back out. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she braced herself, kissing the side of his head, and granting him permission with a soft, "please." Her voice turned into a wanton cry as he pushed himself into her. His tongue lapped at her throat, sucking against her skin as a feeble distraction to keep himself from fucking her before she was ready but the way her body was receiving him was making the demon tremble.

"Lu, please, I need you to fuck me," all shyness and mortification was gone and all that remained was the sexual desire and a sense of urgency.

"Do you know what you're asking of me, my dear? Do not underestimate me."

"Lucifer, fuck me or else I will invoke our pact and make you-" the rest of MC's threat was lost, replaced by a sob as Lucifer's restraint snapped and began thrusting wildly into MC. It didn't take long for him to readjust his position, turning them away from the wall. With his hands on her hips, the eldest brother moved her against his thrusts, bouncing her on his cock and slamming back into her. His rhythm would change randomly between fast and shallow to deep thrusts where he'd pull out to the tip and snap his hips to fully sheath himself. He'd felt her muscles constrict around him a few times, keeping a tally of how many orgasms he pulled from her, but he wanted her to make a mess and to make a mess of her.

Bending MC backwards, he continued drilling into her as he held her hips in-front of him. Her voice cried out in a scream as he relentlessly thrusted against that spot and she felt a wave building.

"Lu s-st, wait, I'm, you're gonna make, h-hold on-"

"I know MC, it's okay. Let go."

With Lucifer's words of encouragement, MC felt herself relax, giving in to the impending wave that continued to build. Reaching out, her hands found a shelf to stabilize herself, her mouth open in a silent scream as the dam broke and ecstasy filled her senses. The way she clamped down on his cock had Lucifer's hips stuttering through his own orgasm, filling her with his seed quicker than he had intended; the intensity of her orgasm having coaxed his to follow suit.

As the fog cleared in his mind, Lucifer's fingers twitched and he noticed the array of bruises littering her hips. MC lifted her head to look up at him, but the rest of her body was limp. She smiled sheepishly causing Lucifer to roll his eyes but his lips turned to shape a playful smile and MC giggled as he pulled her up. They winced as he pulled out of her, but she kissed his cheek and he brushed his nose against hers, humming as they basked in their afterglow together.

Lucifer grabbed a blanket to wrap around them and turned to leave the laundry room when he caught sight of the glittery purple dildo still mounted to the lid of the washing machine. He snorted and walked over to it. Having curled into the demon, MC had to turn to see why he'd stopped walking and groaned.

"Don't you dare."

"Hmm?

"You're going to say something really condescending and I don't want to hear it." MC snuggled closer into Lucifer's chest, pulling the blanket over her head in protest.

"I don't know about 'condescending,' but-"

"Lucifer, don't you fuckin do it."

"This had to been Asmo's idea."

"..."

"It just reeks of desperation and wanting to get caught."

"Lucifer!"

"Now if you had been a good human, and come to me with your situation sooner, all of this could have been avoided. But now, there's a big mess to clean up." Having lived with the demon brothers long enough and sitting thru many a famous Lucifer lecture, MC could hear the smirk in his voice. In retaliation, MC pinched the Avatar of Pride's nipple earning her a grunt and a thump on the back of her head. She hissed like a cat from behind the blanket and Lucifer sighed from the absurdity of the whole thing.

"Do you want to go get cleaned up?"

"....yes."

"Do you need me to keep carrying you?"

"...yes."

"Then be a good girl and hold this." MC pulled the blanket away from her head, curiosity having piqued her interest, but groaned when Lucifer handed her the aforementioned dildo. "I don't want the others seeing this in case the room isn't cleaned up by the time they come back from their classes."

Damn him for making perfect, logical sense.

"Besides, I might want to use it on you later."

"...I hate you."

"I know."

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #om lucifer #obey me f!mc #obey me female mc #om f!mc #om female mc #i don't want to hear anyone asking me why i didn't start with my husbando #listen linda #i couldn't figure out who i wanted to write with #and i kinda love how much i hate this idea #so i kinda want to write for all of their reactions #and i spent practically all day on this #thanks hyperfixation #OM lucifer thirst #the prideful firstborn #OM nsft #my writing no one asked for

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bokutoslittlebird · 3 years

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Request: Sakusa was used to telling people to not touch him or go away, but after a horrible argument and he was trying to stop yn from leaving he didn't expect his cute social girlfriend to glare at him with he most disgusted look and tell him not to touch her and leave her alone.

I got distracted by watching scary videos so I apologize for that

Sakusa Angst Drabble

One thing Sakusa never thought he could do was go too far. At least, with you.

Sure, he could be crude and often written off as an asshole, but he was just blunt with his words and his resting face gave off intimidating vibes. But you were never scared or worried about his attitude, seeing him through his actions. Komori even joked it was a modern, real-life setting of Beauty and the Beast. Although he brushed it off, Sakusa couldn't deny he read the stories -- he watched the movies, as well. He liked how they ended up together in each telling, hoping you'd both end up the same way.

When he asked you out, he knew it was a toss up leaning towards rejection. Once Atsumu got word of his "little girlfriend", Sakusa had to ask you out before one of his teammates found you first. You giggled and nodded your head, outwardly mentioning how you're surprised he'd even like you like that. He never understood that, only being able to see the kindness and loving aura you possessed. He even told you that, resulting in another laugh as you looped your arm through his.

He didn't set a boundary that day, but you felt him tense.

A week later, you brought it up. He never initiated affection, and he'd tense when you touched him, but never did he push you away. You explained that physical and mental distancing are different things and you felt as if he didn't want to touch you. He explained he just wasn't so good with physical touch, that's all. You understood better than he thought you would, nodding and setting up a boundary. Hand holding in public only and any physical affection in private he could be blunt about it.

Sakusa was blunt, but honest. He was glad you understood him.

Whenever you'd visit him at practice, he'd grace your head with a quick kiss and accept the lunch you made him. Atsumu was often trying to pick on him afterwards, with Inunaki chiming in and making kissy noises. When he stopped, you would blow him a kiss instead. He'd lovingly catch it, but once more was he relentlessly teased, with Bokuto added into the mix. Only Meian could settle the team down. Even then, he would still catch the kiss, but be more bashful about it -- you thought.

Then he stopped. Ignoring the kisses, he expected Atsumu to stop. He didn't want his teammates to pick at such a sensitive, vulnerable part of him. When Atsumu didn't stop, Sakusa asked you to stop bringing him lunch. He said he didn't want you around the team anymore, thinking it was a reasonable excuse.

You, however, did not.

Raising your voice at him, you explained that his teammates picked on him because he didn't want to seem vulnerable. He was allowed to feel emotions and be loving with you and him acting so harshly wouldn't help his case. You even tried to explain Atsumu would probably pick on him because you're no longer showing up. Sakusa never got angry, but he did get a bit peeved, if you will, at you.

"You don't know me that well. We've been together for 6 months, not 6 years,"

"Yeah, I know. I was also a friend before we got together officially. We've talked about boundaries but this is just turning selfish, Kiyoomi. Why won't you just stop getting so ashamed? Atsumu would stop then, that's how he works,"

"No, you don't know my teammates and you don't know me. Obviously, this isn't going to work out if you can't accept the boundary I've placed,"

"So you want me to exist only in your private life, is that it? I work next to the gym,"

"If you can't compromise-"

"This isn't a compromise!"

"Don't yell at me like that again," Sakusa sneered, looking down at you. That was the moment he knew he messed up. Never in his life had he seen you look frightened of him, reminding him of the others in his life. Backed up, eyes wide, an arm in front to protect you from anymore harsh words. "I'm right in front of you. No need to yell."

"If you'd listen to me for once, I wouldn't have yelled," your voice is shaky, but your eyes won't meet his. "I think this argument is over, anyways."

"Argu- Argument? This was a conversation,"

"No, an argument," you reiterate. Grabbing your bag, you get ready to leave as Sakusa isn't far behind you. "A conversation wouldn't end with me screaming and you glaring at me as if I'm gum on your shoe,"

"Where are you going? We're not done," he says, grabbing your wrist. It's immediately wrenched away from his grasp, your violent thrashing startling him.

"Do not touch me. And we are done." Is the final say and end to the argument, leaving Sakusa stunned in his apartment hallway.

"She'll be back. Just a small bump in the road, we've had these before. Normal couple stuff, right?" he whispers to himself, sliding down against the wall.

The next morning, his bed is cold and empty next to him. Every trace of you is gone.

#BB.Requests #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #Omi Omi #Mr. Kiyoomi #Sakusa.Angst #cw.angst #tw.arguing

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holdmyowos · 3 years

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Please (Tamaki x reader smut)

Includes:dubcon, oral, unprotected sex, very slight vore (not really, but just putting it here in case), face sitting

No One’s POV

Tamaki Amajiki could not sleep. He tossed and turned, but try as he might, he could not. He couldn’t think of anything keeping him awake, yet here he was, restless. Sleep usually came so naturally to him. This was an odd night. He got out of bed, giving up on the notion of a full night’s sleep, and glanced at the clock. Almost midnight. There was no sound, so he had no one to go and talk to, since they were all likely sleeping soundly. He got out one of his hero work books and reviewed it. No reason to waste time, he reasoned. If he was up, he might as well be doing something.

Suddenly, there was a muffled noise from the bedroom next to him. Was that a scream? With his ears, he would have been the only person to have heard it. What was happening? That was Y/N’s bedroom, one of the few third years at U.A., and one of his closest friends. Was she being kidnapped, or attacked by a villain? Tamaki dashed out his door and slowly opened Y/N’s cautiously. Seeing and hearing nothing more than breathing from one person, he crept in and slowly shut the door behind him with a very slight click only he could hear. Since he kept his clothes on when he slept, (he liked how they hugged his body and provided comfort and warmth) he did not need to bother getting any on.

Oddly enough, after surveying the room, there didn’t seem to be any villains there at all. “Y/N, a-aare you okay?” He asked in a hushed whisper, not wanting to wake the other people in the dorms. Perhaps she had just stubbed her toe or something. Why had he come into her room? He felt shame flood him. He had probably read the situation entirely wrong. He had wanted to come in like a knight in shining armor to save his beloved Y/N, yet here he was, just intruding in her room in the middle of the night. He looked down at her. She was breathing deeply. Asleep. Should he wake her up? Was she having a nightmare? The thoughts confused him. He didn’t know what to do. Should he ask Mirio? He shook his head. No, then he’d have to wake him up too. He knelt next to the bed, and turned her head so it wasn’t being practically suffocated by the pillow. He brushed the hair away from her face with one of his hands. She was so pretty. He always wanted to tell her he was in love with her, but he would never have the courage. He started to get up, to leave, seeing that everything seemed all right.

“Tamaki, please... ” He froze, startled, and turned back to her, alarmed. Her deep breaths told him that she was still sleeping. How could she know he was here? Or perhaps was she dreaming of him? “I need you Tamaki…” She stretched and changed positions. Tamaki felt heat rising in him, sure he was turning red. That was hot. He felt his cock twitch, and turned even deeper red. Did she feel the same way about him as he did her? She must have, to have dreamt of such a thing. No, no, no. Tamaki told himself. Maybe she’s just having a nightmare and she wants me to save her. He told himself, shaking off his lewd thoughts, ashamed of thinking so lowly of Y/N. He was just about to shake her and try and wake her up when she said “Tama-sama! Yes…” That was a moan, nothing like what she had said earlier. His lewd thoughts came back, and he felt the urge to please her, and himself, if he could. He couldn’t just leave her if she really wanted him as well. He peeled down the blanket, turning away seeing that she had no clothes. He slowly stared up and down at her body, feeling himself grow harder every second. This was so wrong, but it felt so right. He had all but entered into her room without permission. Shouldn’t he wake her still? No, she seems to be enjoying herself in whatever fantasy she had conjured up with him. He wondered how often she had dreams like this. He undressed and slowly straddled her leg, and pressed himself gently against her thigh. It felt so good, he was barely able to control himself. All he had ever wanted was for you to love him as much as he loved you. He rubbed himself against your skin, shuddering at the great feeling it gave him.

Gaining a bit of bravery, he started kissing your inner thigh, and looked up. Somehow, you were still sleeping. But, if she wanted to be pleasured by Tamaki he wouldn’t, no, couldn’t disappoint. He felt himself getting harder, and he was feeling a bit desperate. He slowly opened your folds and stuck two fingers in. “Aah~” you moaned. He loved the sound of your voice, and pushed in and out of you with his hand. Your hips involuntarily pushed up against him. Was he really making you feel that good? He looked up at your face, shocked to see that you had awakened, your eyes glaring back at his. He slowly pulled out his fingers, and you trembled at the sensation. “I-I-I can e-explain I I I uh uhh uhhmmm I-I…” He started to mutter, pulling away from you, then looked at his hand, covered in your slick. His voice immediately changed, no longer scared, but in a hushed, husky tone of awe. “You’re so fucking sexy Y/N. Oh fuck. I just want to eat you up so badly.” His eyes flickered to her heat, then flicked away, not looking at her. “I’m so sorry Y/N. I shouldn’t have said that, shouldn’t have done that. God, what have I done?” Guilt washed over him in waves. He really shouldn’t have done that, but at the same time, he really didn’t regret it either. The clench of her walls around his fingers… He moved his middle and pointer fingers so that they were no longer together, and the thick liquid moved with it. He couldn’t stop staring.

Y/N’s POV

You groggily woke up, still in bed. A pressing sensation almost made you cry out. You looked down. Tamaki Amajiki, your biggest crush, had his hand deep in your core. How did that happen? What was going on? You had just awoken, and did not have time to think of things like that, only that he was giving you so much pleasure. His eyes were fixed on your heat, as if it was the last bit of food left in the world. Fuck, he felt so good against you. You gently pressed your hips up more, and gasped, seeing how he sped up the pace. His eyes slowly met yours, a predator looking up at his prey. That expression, paired with what he had been doing to your pussy, nearly had you cum. Sadly, he pulled his fingers out of you, and you trembled as they left. His expression changed to one of guilt, then one of fear. “I-I-I can e-explain I I I uh uhh uhhmmm I-I…” He tried to explain, but his anxiety got the better of him. A moment of silence filled the room. His voice changed slightly. “You’re so fucking sexy Y/N. Oh fuck. I just want to eat you up so badly.” He went back to his guilty face. “I’m so sorry Y/N. I shouldn’t have said that, shouldn’t have done that. God, what have I done?” He looked like he was on the edge of crying or being really angry. His emotions were nearly impossible to read, because the only emotion he only ever really showed to you before was fear, just like with every other person on the planet. “Then do.” You responded. He looked back at you, confused. In a sore voice, he replied, “Do what?” You chuckled, blushing yourself. “You said you wanted to eat me up, didn’t you?” You could see his face turn even redder, and his breaths became shallow. Was he having a panic attack? Tamaki confused you so much. Why had he been in your room, touching you, if he was just going to have a panic attack? You sat up on your bed, and crawled over to sit next to him, hugging him from behind and wrapping your legs around his waist, very aware of just how naked you both were. “Deep breaths, Tamaki. I believe in you.” His breaths stopped shuddering almost immediately, and evened out. He turned around and buried his head between your breasts, pinning you against the bed. You felt a new burst of warmth against your hips. You didn’t need to look down to know that Tamaki didn’t have underwear on.

He took deep breaths, as if craving oxygen, pushing himself against your chest, his earlier bravery all gone. “III It was so much eeeasier when you were asleep, and w-when you had just w-wokenn up. I thought I had I-I I hhhad the confidence bbbut I don’t think so anymore and I just really love you and want to be with you but I can’t because there are so many more better people out there and I thought I just wanted to make you feel good but it was just me being selfish. Y/N I’m so sorry. Please, please, please! Forgive me.” You felt wetness gathering against your chest, and looked down. He was crying against you. You pulled him into a hug, pulling the blanket around the two of you, with the shy boy underneath you, pushing your chest against him. You could have sworn he smiled. You straddle his waist, slightly feeling his hot dick brush against your ass. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you too, Tamaki.” He gasped between his sobs. You knew that he couldn’t have had enough oxygen, but he looked so pretty like that, you had to. You pressed your mouth against his, and he shuddered underneath you, and grew still. You could no longer hear his breathing. Had he fainted? “Tamaki?” You nearly shouted, alarmed. “I-I’m fine,” he responded, nearly in a whisper. “I-I just never thought yo-ou could like me back. What could you possibly see in me?” You frowned, rubbing your wrist against his cheek, drying his tears. “Well, at least three reasons. For one, you’re going to be a great hero.” He sniffled. “Two, you’re amazing, and talented, and I’ve never met anyone like you before.” You smiled. “...and three?” He sniffed. “Three,” you leaned in near his ear, “...you know how to please a woman.” You nibbled on his ear, and he took in a few shuddering breaths. How he was still breathing, you had no clue. “F-Fuck, please.” He begged, surprising you. All you were doing was nibbling on his ear. “What, does the elf have sensitive ears?” You teased, rubbing them, a rhetorical question. He responded. “Yes, fuck. Yes.” He really got off to that? You had never taken Tamaki for the type to be really kinky, or even want sex at all. You were obviously wrong.

He took the two fingers that had been in you and licked them seductively. Since when had he known how to do that? “It still tastes like you…” He reached up and started squeezing one of your nipples, making your sensitive spots yearn for more. “I just want to taste you. All of you.” He swirled his tongue against your bud, still pressing his head against your chest like before, but with a totally different motivation. His eyes kept straying down to where your two bodies connected. “That’s not really what you want to taste, is it?” He took his lips off of your collarbone. “I think you already know.” Is all he would say. “You want to eat my pussy up Tamaki? I’ll let you if you ask nicely.” He seemed at a loss for words. “I-I would very m-much lllikeee that…” You get up, realizing that some of your slick had dripped onto his stomach. He looked down and saw that too. “mmmm..mmm. Y-youuu’rre so w-w-wet fffor mmme Y/N...” His indigo eyes briefly made eye contact with you before shying away. There was no way he could have said that looking at you.

“P-please, let me taste you.” He asked again. Who were you to deny him if he asked so nicely? You gently lowered yourself onto his face, slightly self conscious, but his face was so filled with lust that was quickly forgotten. The man really wasn’t kidding. He prodded, poked, licked, and slurped. The sounds made you cringe, but it felt amazing. Plus, he seemed to really enjoy it too. “You’re doing so good Tamaki. You make me feel so good.” You tell him. It was immediately obvious that he had a praise kink. While he was taking care of you, you reached back and took care of him with your fingers. Reaching back like that allowed his tongue to go deeper, too. After awhile, you felt a knot building up in your stomach. “Do you want to… for me-me t-t-to b-be in y-y-you?” He stuttered, when you sat back down on his stomach. Was that his way of asking you to actually have sex? “If that’s what you want, Tama-sama.” He gulped at the nickname. You slid down to his hips, enjoying teasing him, going slowly. His pained expression told you just how much he wanted you.

You spread your legs wide and slowly took him in, and he already was a moaning mess beneath you. He dug his nails into your hips. You had to put your hand on his mouth to quiet him from being too loud. You set the pace, slowly bouncing up and down on him. That seemed to work fine for awhile. “You fill me up so good Tamaki.” You felt him twitch under you. It was cute how the smallest compliments could get him going. You massaged his ears while rocking back and forth. You were almost there. He was still under you the whole time, aside from his slight trembling. “I-I’I’m t-ththink a-ab- going to-“ He surprised you. With his strong arms he lifted you up and pressed you against the wall, thrusting a couple more times, deeper than would be possible on the bed. It felt great, and had you seeing white. With one last deep thrust, you felt the knot in your stomach snap, and your juices trickled around him. He was a blushing mess, holding you against the wall as he came too, pushing you harder onto him, chasing both of your highs.

No one’s POV

He let out a sob of happiness, seeing the trail between the two of you. He had done that. He had made you feel so good that you had come with him. You wanted him as much as he had wanted you. He has never seen the day ending like this. “Is everything okay, Tamaki?” She said, cupping his face with that beautiful hand of hers. “Yes. Everything is perfect.” He wiped his tear and lifted her off, tucking her into bed. Pretty soon, Y/N fell back asleep, no doubt exhausted. Tamaki got up and left his phone number on her pillow. It was so much easier to text than talk for him. Hopefully, this was just the beginning of their relationship. He gently closed the door, careful not to awake her on his way out.

#Smut #bnha #tamaki #tamaki amijiki #tamaki x reader

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idontblushsrry · 3 years

Text

Itadori Yuuji Boyfriend Headcanons

A/N: Reader is from America and a black female. Idk why i decided to write this but I think that Yuuji would be a fun boyfriend lmao. I don’t entirely know what the reader’s cursed technique should be so lmk if you have any ideas. Until then enjoy Yuuji and reader being 2 idiots in love. Spoilers for all the eps of jujutsu kaisen up to about episode 11, nothing past that though as I want to finish the show first before reading the manga, so please be respectful of spoilers and label them (and tag if necessary) in the comments. Also srry if this cuts off abruptly bcus of the point the show is at. This is also like, all over the place but whatever.

(also sorry this was posted later than usual oops)

Word Count: 1943

This dork-

He is so sweet and kind and considerate

But also a dumbass but also like he’s your dumbass

You and Yuuji are both equally stupid like bless yalls hearts

You and Yuuji met during his time at the Tokyo Academy when you transferred from America

The moment this man saw you walk up with Gojo-sensei he was smitten

Like your skin was glowing??? how???

And you had a slight accent but like he loved it too

And when you came up to greet him and shake hands you smelled so good and your skin was so soft

((He would later come to find out that the root of that was the shea cocoa butter lotion you used))

But yea mans was smitten and he is fully in love with you lmao

Will do literally anything you ask

You hungry? He’s prepared a 5 course, michelin star meal

Want new clothes? He’s been training for the day he could hold your bags for you

Ran out of hair products?? He’s already back with a special box of your products that he had imported from America

To this day you don’t know how he was able to get those products so quickly

He is loves when you tell him things about you from your day, to your times in america, to how your cursed energy works

Yall are the couple that does stupid shit together

Like one time you showed Yuuji one of those life hack videos and he was like

“We should totally do that”

And you were like “Bet”

Needless to say Fushiguro was very confused at the sight of bandaids on both of your fingers the next morning

“???What happened?”

“Well you see, I told Yuuji that I should use the glue gun because he didn’t even know where to put the glue stick. And he said nah, I got it and um yea so I fell and the glue gun was plugged in and then he tripped over me and so now we look like this.”

Gojo and Kugisaki thought that this was hilarious while Fushiguro decided that he’d store your guys’ glue gun in his shadows from now on

How yall manage to get through missions you go on together alive is a miracle

Speaking of missions, you eventually ask Yuuji what’s his deal because you feel a powerful aura coming from him but he never uses cursed energy, always cursed weapons

Cue Sukuna’s mouth popping up on the side of his face like “Hey mamas”

(You can’t tell me that Sukuna isn’t the type of guy to ask where his hug at)

“YUUJI WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

“Oh, I guess you haven’t met Sukuna yet, huh?”

So he sits you down and explains how he ate Sukuna’s finger and you're sitting there like ‘mhm mhm mhm, sorry you what?’

For like 3 days after he told you that you couldn’t bring yourself to kiss him just because you were processing the fact that Yuuji ate someone’s nasty old ass finger and would have to eat 19 more

And the fact that he’s the vessel of like the worst curse known to man

During those 3 days, Yuuji’s pouting because he’s like ‘I fucked up, now she doesn’t wanna kiss me let alone talk to me because of this monster inside of me :(’

Meanwhile you’re just like ‘why would anyone eat some random mummified finger?’

Eventually you get wind of Yuuji’s bad mood and immediately, you rush to smooth things over with him.

You knock on his door and hear blankets rustling before he goes, “I’m not in the mood to play fight right now Kugisaki’

“Can I come in baby?”

You immediately hear the most comical almost cartoonish amount of noise ranging from a cup falling over, sheets falling off the bed, and what sounds like Yuuji falling flat on his ass before he opens the door

When he does, you’re laughing and it’s like the sky is no longer grey and the world is filled with color

You smile at each other before your moment is interrupted with Sukuna going “Finally, full offense, his whining was getting annoying”

You step inside his room and apologize for ignoring him, explaining that you just needed time to process things, explaining that you should’ve told him that before dipping

He just grabbed you in a bear hug and lifted you of the ground and spinning you around laughing happily, after all he wasn’t even upset with you, he just missed you

And thus begins the honeymoon phase of your guys’ relationship

Fushiguro is actually really happy for you guys and is the most supportive of your relationship but if anyone asked him to admit that out loud he’d actually apparate to the nearest marooned ship

Nobura doesn’t hate you guys but she thinks all couples are disgusting, so while it’s nothing personal, she does gag when you and Yuuji do so much as make goo goo eyes at each other

Gojo is actually like the main cheerleader of your relationship.

He is the teacher that changes the seating chart to put students he ships together

He was always pairing you and Yuuji up on missions and placing you as sparring partners like ur not slick

If Gojo is the cheerleader, Sukuna is an actual antagonist

Like the man goes out of his way to CHOOSE violence

Like on time you kissed Yuuji’s cheek on a date and when you pulled back, your lip was bleeding and Sukuna’s mouth was smirking at you

Another thing he likes to do is tell you all of Yuuji’s simp^tm thoughts

Like all of them

Now Yuuji isn’t ashamed of how much he loves you and is in fact very open with it, but he doesn’t need Sukuna telling you that the only reason he bought x mouthwash was because it made your breath smell like “sunshine” and he had to see if it would work on him

Speaking of dates, good luck

Now I stand by the fact that Yuuji would never half-ass a date and things with him are certainly never boring

But he’s also like a country boy in the city and his tourist tendencies tend to get the best of him

Like you’ll be trying to find a spot to eat and when you look back Yuuji’s gone

((Prolly to buy another I <3 Tokyo shirt so you can both match))

He always catches up with you ad you eventually learn that but like the first few times be havin you ready to put up a lost child signal on the loudspeaker

He’s very sweet and this is where his thoughtfulness shines through

You and Yuuji plan dates in the same way one plays bingo

Like because you never know where you’re going to be r when exactly you’ll both be free (especially with Gojo-sensei and his bare minimum ass information) you two tend to go ‘ok well if we’re here we’ll go here and if we’re here, we’ll go here’ and so on and so forth

But Yuuji always remembers such little one-off details about you that make your dates.

Like you mention wanting to try a sushi train and he’s already scrolled through multiple yelp reviews and watched every youtube restaurant review like 9 times

But every high has a low and Yuuji and your’s low comes suddenly and it brings you crashing to the ground with no warning and nothing to slow your descent

When your class of first years were sent to exorcise the special grade cursed womb

When Yuuji’s hand got blown off and he told you to run you froze, your mind racing faster than your legs could even start

“(Y/N) RUN!” Yuuji’s voice broke you out of your fear-based trance

“I- I...can’t...I can’t leave you!” you cried out all your rational senses screamed at you to go, run, he had Sukuna and you were barely a grade 2 sorcerer. But your intuition told you if you left him you wouldn’t see him alive again.

You were trapped in a paralysis of indecision but the choice was made for you when a sticky tongue wrapped around your midriff and you were gulped into the mouth of one of Fushiguro’s frogs

“Goddamn it Fushiguro! Let me go! I need to... save... him.” You were outside the building before you could even finish arguing.

You glared up at Fushiguro but your eyes softened some when you saw how beat up Kugisaki looked.

He gave you this look that said he did what he had to do and he didn’t care what you had to say about it

You and him waited in the rain for Yuuji or Sukuna to exit the building

You tried to focus yourself and save your negative emotions for your cursed attack

When Sukuna inevitably appeared, one finger stronger, you were fully prepared to fight him

However, he didn’t seem interested in fighting you and more engaged in fighting with Megumi

You tried to urge Fushiguro to wait it out, eventually Sukuna would lose control, but when Sukuna took Yuuji’s heart hostage, you both knew you’d have to fight

You and Fushiguro gave it your all but when Yuuji came back he still died

It took all your strength to not completely fall apart after his death and the support from the second years as well as Kugisaki and Fushiguro helped

You’d tried to visit him at the morgue but Shoko only told you that she didn’t think it’d be a good idea.

You still slept in his sweaters and the things that smelled like him from time to time, trying to make the idea of him last, but after a month, the smell of him had started to fade

Everything about Yuuji’s memory seemed to become leached away with time, from his smell, to the wear present on things he’d given to you

You couldn’t help but feel resentful towards yourself but also to Sukuna, he’d taken Yuuji from you with the same care that one would throw litter on the ground

The pain in your chest didn’t wane either, it only became ignorable to a degree as training for the exchange with the Kyoto students became more intense

Fushiguro is a comfort to you as well, aside from you, him and Yuuji were the closest to each other and so he gets a lot of what you’re going through and doesn’t push when you become more withdrawn

He also lets you pet his demon dog too but when you ask him why he’s letting you pet it he just says ‘because no one would believe you if you told them’ lies

The bastard really just does it because he knows you’re sad and he doesn’t want you to be sad

Speaking of the Kyoto students, Zenin Mai and Toudou Aoi are permanently on your shit list

You’re relieved that Panda, Maki, and Inumaki came to your guys’ aid but like if you had your way Mai wouldn’t even exist

Anyways Maki has Panda physically restrain you while she tries to calm you down

“(Y/N), you can kick her ass at the exchange!”

When you calm down, Panda puts you down and even though Mai’s long gone with Todou to go get his handshake, you make a promise that carries through the wind

‘Zenin Mai, pray that the next time you run across me I’m feeling kind, because if not-’, the last word is lost as the wind picks up but Mai feels a shiver rack through her body that more than ensures your message.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen hcs #jjk x reader #itadori yuji x reader #itadori yuji #jjk itadori #black reader #x black reader #idontblushsrry

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silkling · 3 years

Text

Of Newfound Knowledge and Truths of a Yesteryear

Of Moments in Life AU

———————————————————————————————————

Heatwave stood on his small training platform, punching the wooden dummy and trying to ignore the rage bubbling in the back of his processor. That morning, he’d read some of the data-pads that High Tide and Optimus had left, the ones Blades had read when Dreadwing first crashed on the island. What he’d learned had made him angry, and he didn’t understand how his teammate hadn’t been angry, too.

The Decepticons…the pads had a lot of information on what the ‘Cons had done throughout the War. The information had definitely been censored and sanitized, probably intentionally so his team wouldn’t be exposed to the full horrors of the War through the data pads, but it had still been enough for Heatwave to understand.

Dreadwing had said that the Decepticons started as a social revolution. But they were certainty far from that, now. The Rescue Force, Praxus, Iacon…they’d destroyed everything that had stood in their way, not caring if those they crushed were even involved in the War or not. It made him angry, his rescue protocols screaming with rage and loss in his processor.

As the conflicting emotions peaked, he heard the sound of pedes behind him and turned to see Dreadwing. Heatwave stepped away from the training post, the platform lowering to the ground as he crossed his arms and frowned. He liked the former Deception. He hadn’t spent as much time with him as the rest of his time, but he big bot was never violent or mean. He was a little blunt, and seemed to be a bit overly aggressive in his solutions for Heatwave’s peace-orientated processor, but he wasn’t a bad bot. At least, he didn’t appear to be.

Dreadwing seemed to notice his internal distress, because the larger bot pinned him with a considering and slightly concerned look. “You seem troubled, little one.” he rumbled.

“I’m not little.” Heatwave answered on reflex, mildly indignant. He didn’t understand why the Seeker referred to him and his teammates like that. Well, he supposed he did. They were all little, compared to him. “And…I guess I am.” He looked up at Dreadwing, a hard frown twisting his features.

“So I see.” Dreadwing, for his part, now looked ever so slightly amused. “And what is it what is causing you such distress?”

Heatwave made a frustrated noise, his vocalizer clicking in a sort of nonsense babble as he tried to think of how to explain. “I just–I don’t understand. How could they have done…everything they did?”

“What are you talking about?” Dreadwing asked, confused.

“I read the data lads Optimus and High Tide left! I learned about some of the things the Decepticons did!” he snapped, frustration and anger bleeding into his tone in place of previous confusion. Just the thought of what he’d learned was enough to make his spark sing with rage.

“Ah, now I understand.” The Seeker stated, his gaze becoming solemn and understanding. “And what did you learn, Heatwave?”

“You know what!”

“I do not. Your data pads are Autobot records, youngling. While I have no doubt there is truth there, I am also quite sure that much of that information is highly biased or just pure conjecture.”

The fire truck scowled. “Oh? So the Decepticons didn’t destroy Praxus, which was supposed to be a Neutral city?”

Dreadwing paused. “They did. It was before I joined, but they did.”

“And you’ve probably done a lot too, haven’t you?” He demanded. “Killed a lot of innocent bots, destroyed a lot of lives?” he was angry and hurting and he didn’t understand how Dreadwing could have joined a cause that was so horrible unless he was, as the human say, cut from the same cloth. But he couldn’t be, everything Heatwave had seen from the Seeker since his crash on the island directly conflicted with what the youngling had learned of the Decepticons. It just made him confused and left his spark aching.

The Seeker in question was silent, observing for a moment before he dipped his head. “I have. I have done many, many terrible things. I never killed sparklings or younglings, but I have killed countless Autobot soldiers and slain more than a few Neutral civilians on Megatron’s command.” He said softly. “I have aided in the stripping and destruction of planets, and I have directly contributed to the death of our homeworld. I do not deny any of this. I am not trying to escape my past, Heatwave, or to deny the crimes and atrocities I have committed.”

“Then why did you do them? Why are you here? Why should we let you stay if you’ve done all of that?” He didn’t actually want Dreadwing to leave, and the knew the others would want him to either. But he had just admitted to having committed horrible acts. Heatwave didn’t know what to think.

If the harsh questions bothered him, Dreadwing didn’t show it. “I did what I did because, at the time, I believed I was in the right. You know how Cybertron was in the Golden Age. You know of the emurata, of Functionism, of the caste system and how it was structured. Don’t tell me you don’t.” he said. “I rose from a system that sought to oppress me, and I turned to the only option I saw at the time. The Decepticons. It was wrong, and I have come to realize that.” He paused, tilting his head slightly. “I am here because I have little elsewhere I can go, and because I find myself growing fond of this place. I am here because Primus has granted me a second chance, an opportunity to do better and to be better, and I intend to take it.” Dreadwing took an extra moment to consider the last question. “You likely should not.” he answered. “I cannot change what I have done, all I can do it try to make amends and hope to find redemption one day.” He met the youngling’s gaze evenly. “But I would like to stay, if you would allow me the chance to pursue something better here.”

Heatwave held his gaze, then sagged and looked away. “Fine. I don’t even want you to leave anyway.” he sounded tired. “I won’t make you go. I don’t think I could. The others like you, and so do I. It’d just do more harm than good to everyone involved if I made you leave now.” he glanced up. “Just…tell me why. Why did the Decepticons do all of that? I don’t understand.” he sounded frustrated and helpless.

Dreadwing softened, his wings dipping down just slightly as his frame relaxed. “The Decepticons did not rise from nothing, little one.” he rumbled.

“What do you mean? The data pads said Megatron came out of nowhere and built them up before anyone realized what was going on.” He said, his anger abating in face of his even more confusion.

Dreadwing scoffed. “I am certain that many Autobot’s believe that.” his lips curled faintly, displeased. “That is, however, as far from the truth as you can get.”

“Then why would Autobot data pads contain that information as if it were fact?” he demanded, crossing his arms.

The Seeker hummed, tilting his head. “Perhaps, if you wish to have this discussion in its entirety, it would be best to sit somewhere?”

Heatwave paused, then nodded. “Lounge.” he said gruffly, leading the way. Once there, he dragged over a beanbag chair and settled into it comfortably, leaving the couch to the former Decepticon.

“To begin, I must ask how much you know about the Autobots and Decepticons as a whole, as well as how much you know and understand the political and social climate of the Golden Age.” Dreadwing stated.

Heatwave frowned. “I know what you told us when you first arrived.” he said, tilting his head. “I also know that the Autobot’s end goal is the restoration of Cybertron and the revival of our race. I know the Decepticons want to take control and lead Cybertron by force, and that their end goal is to put ‘Cons in charge and remove lots of freedom from bots under their rule.” he said. He crossed his arms, staring at a point on the floor as he tried to think. “I know that the Senate used to rule Cybertron during the Golden Age, and that they weren’t very fair and a lot of bots suffered, and that some of their regulations and punishments were extreme.” he tilted his head. “I know the caste system made the bots in the lower castes struggle a lot.” he seemed almost ashamed at this point. “I….I never paid the most attention to that, though. I was in the upper-middle caste, and my Function was something I already wanted to do.”

“Rescue work.” Dreadwing guessed.

The firetruck nodded. “Yeah.” he admitted.

“Then you know much of the very basics, though your knowledge lacks in the complexity and finer details of the full scope of the situation.” he rumbled. “You are correct. The Autobots fight for a restored Cybertron. But your knowledge of the Decepticons is…not entirely accurate.”

Heatwave’s engine growled with displeasure as he just grew more helplessly confused. “What?”

“The Decepticons do seek control, and they do seek to rule over Cybertron. That is true. It is also true that their goal is to see to the destruction of the Autobots. But it wasn’t always so.”

“Yeah, you mentioned they started as a social revolution.” Heatwave said, starting to calm down once he realized he’d be getting his answers, and without all the vagueness that came from Optimus whenever he tried to ask the Prime about the War.

“They did. But Megatron not rise from nothing, as the Autobots are so fond of believing. He rose from foundations that were already very deeply rooted. Functionism was a plague and the caste system was a rot that had sunk deep into the very core of our world.” he said, voice soft and somber. “It was a rot that infected only the oppressed and the beaten; it affected the lower castes and the undesirables, and those who lived comfortably in the higher castes did not feel the affects of it.”

“Undesirables?” Heatwave echoed, confused.

“Bots who did not fit into the world the Senate wished to portray. They wanted a Cybertron where every bot had a singular Function and operated according to that Function and ONLY according to that Function. They wanted a world where all those who were not of the Senate were subservient to them and obeyed them without question. They wanted a world that operated under the beliefs and celebrations and social structure they approved of. Those who did not fit into that world, and who could not fit into that world, were deemed undesirable.” He cast the youngling a meaningful look. “For the Senate, that included flight-frames. It is why they were so eager to see the spread of anti-flyer sentiments, to confine flyers, whether they were Seekers or not, to a single city. Flight-frames have a different base coding to ground-frames, and the Senate were all ground-frames. In their optics, flight-frames were a danger to their rule because flyers, by the nature of our frames, do not fit seamlessly into a Functionist society.” he paused. “It certainly did not help that the social structure, belief system, and cultural behavior of flight-frames was radically different to that of ground-frames, and that it was radically different to what the Senate was trying to enforce.”

Heatwave was silent for a long moment, considering what he was told. “But…you said the caste system was a rot. What did you mean?”

Dreadwing hummed, his fingers tapping a pattern on the couch; it was a very human gesture, one he had picked up from the Burnses without even realizing it. He had to word this carefully. Not because he wanted to manipulate the younger bot, but because it was a complex situation and a rather unpleasant one. “You said we’re were of the upper-middle caste.” he said carefully. “And that fits with your frame type and your Function. But have you never thought about the types of bots that fill each level of the caste system?” he asked.

Heatwave furrowed his optical ridges, shaking his helm. “No…” he said slowly. “I know…I know artists were considered among the lowest tier of the high castes. I know scientists and medics were high caste, and that the only bots above them were politicians.” he said.

Dreadwing smiled faintly. The young bot was starting to understand on his own. “Indeed. But those bots only made up a minority of Cybertron’s population. What of the others? What of the common laborers?”

“You mean, like, cleaners and construction bots? You’re right, they were more common than scientists, medics, or artists.” he said. “Like Boulder. He was originally a construction bot.”

He nodded. “They were indeed more common. But what caste did the Senate assign to them?”

“The…the lower caste.” Understanding was starting to bloom in Heatwave’s optics. “The lowest caste, for most of the laborer frames.” he realized. “That means…Boulder was from the lower castes.”

Dreadwing hummed agreement. “He was. If you wish to know more, then you shall have to ask him yourself. It is not my place to tell you what he experienced.” He sighed heavily. “But I will tell you that the lower castes, the bots who made up the majority of our people, did not often lead pleasant lives. They received little pay for their work, could not often afford decent fuel, if they could afford any fuel, and most of their pay would have to go to maintaining their living space. It oft left them overtired, overworked, and very, very hungry. It did not help that many of them had dangerous Functions, dangerous jobs, and after paying for their living quarters and fuel, they did not have the shanix for medical care. It meant the lower castes were forced to choose between their need for fuel and their health.”

Heatwave swallowed, his optics blown wide. “Oh.” he whispered. “But…why didn’t they do anything?”

Dreadwing looked almost melancholic at his question. “Most of the lower castes simply did not have the time or energy to fight against it. They were too tired, too hungry, to injured or sick, and were forced to focus purely on their own survival.” he stated. “And those few that did try to speak up…” he trailed off. “The Senate was not kind to dissenters, little one. If they did not use empurata on those who protested their systems, they used other means of punishment and silencing.” his tone was grim.

Heatwave chose not to ask what those “other means” were. He had a feeling he didn’t want to know. “It…it was really that bad?”

The Seeker bowed his helm. “Ask Boulder or Blades. They would know the best of your teammates.” Though, he had his suspicions about the means of Chase’s creation, and if he was right then the police bot might also know how bad the Senate could be.

“Boulder, I get. But why Blades?”

“The little flyer once told me that one of his brothers was a flight-frame. He would not have experienced the cruelty directly, as he was a ground-frame on Cybertron, but he would doubtless have experienced or seen it through his brother.”

“Oh.” Heatwave was starting to get the feeling that he didn’t know as much about his team as he thought he did. He really needed to fix that. “I guess I understand why the Decepticons rose to quickly then, if things were really that bad for so long.”

“Indeed.” Dreadwing agreed. “But there is one more thing you must understand.”

“Which is?” Heatwave was feeling a little sick to his tanks. He hadn’t been aware the situation on Cybertron had been so bad, but then again, he’d lived a good life. He’d had all the fuel he needed, he never worried about his health or safety, his living situation was pretty much always assured, and he actually enjoyed working according to his Function. He wouldn’t have experienced the rot Dreadwing mentioned, so it only made sense he wasn’t entirely aware of it. That didn’t get rid of the guilt, though.

“The Decepticons are made up almost entirely of flight-frames and those of lower castes. There are certainly some of those among Autobot forces, but the grand majority of them are Decepticon.” Dreadwing pinned Heatwave under a severe look. “What does that tell you, little one?”

“It tells me that the Autobots are mostly ground-frames and bots from the middle and upper castes.” he answered, suddenly understanding the War in a whole new light. It certainly didn’t excuse what the Decepticons had done, but now this…this made it a lot easier to understand.

“Indeed.” he agreed. “The Decepticons originally rose on the backs of bots who were beaten down and had little else to lose, bots whose only crime was to want a better life.” he said. “When the Senate, and later the original Autobots before Optimus Prime, attempted to beat them back down to their “proper place”, they fought back for the freedom that should have always been theirs.” His gaze went distant, as if remembering something from long ago. “The Decepticons were originally a freedom movement, little one. It was only as time wore on and the spilled energon between the factions soured that they lost their way and forget their original mission.”

“And now?”

“Now, because so many Autobots are ground-frame or originated from the higher castes, they do not understand why their enemy continue to fight. Certainly, many Decepticons fight because they wish to destroy the Autobots, but there are many, many more who only fight because they fear that an Autobot victory means a return to the ways of the Golden Age. It is something that Prime and his bots simply do not, and perhaps never will, understand.”

“So most of the Autobots…they weren’t bots who were hurt by the Senate.”

“No.” Dreadwing agreed. “Prime’s team on Earth is a good example. Prime himself is formerly of the lower-high caste, as he was a former Archivist. His scout was upper-middle caste, and while he was too young to receive his Function at the start of the War he would very easily have made a successful racer. The femme-bot was an Enforcer, also considered upper-middle caste. And of course, the medic. Ratchet was famed, even before the War.” The Seeker smiled sardonically. “He was quite firmly in the highest castes. All of them operated according to their Function, and all of them were content with it.” He tilted his head. “The only bot on Prime’s own team who does not fit that mold is his Wrecker, who was once a construction bot. He is the only one who might truly understand.”

Heatwave nodded, looking own at his lap. “I think I get it now. This war…it’s not going to end until the Autobots understand that stuff, is it? Because they won’t understand why most of the Decepticons keep fighting, why they started fighting in the first place.” he said, looking up to meet red optics.

“Yes. You’re very intelligent, little one. You learn fast.” Dreadwing slumped slightly, releasing a heavy vent. “You are correct. So long as the Autobots do not understand, then the Decepticons, at least those who only fight out of a fear of a return to the old ways, will never stop what they are doing.”

“You really know a lot about this stuff.”

“I am a Seeker, Heatwave. I experienced much of the Senate’s cruelty directly, as did most of my frame-kin.”

The Rescue Bot nodded, subdued. Now he understood. A part of him wished he didn’t, but he was glad he did. He sighed, meeting Dreadwing’s gaze again. “I think I owe you an apology, then. I judged you based on incomplete information.”

Dreadwing bowed his helm. “Thank you, little one. As I said, I certainly committed horrible acts, and I can never undo what I have done, but now I only make to make amends as I move forward.”

Heatwave nodded, smirking and straightening up. “I think you can. And lucky for you, we’re here to help.” he said.

Dreadwing blinked, before he chuckled, his wings lifting as the mood brightened. “So you are. Thank you, youngling.”

“We’re Rescue Bots.” Heatwave grinned. “Helping others is what we do.”

“So it is.” He agreed, looking amused. “And perhaps, I can also help you?”

He blinked, taken aback. “Me? How?”

“I have noticed you practicing with your sparring post. Your form is acceptable, and I am aware that the Rescue Force trained its Teams to have combat abilities, but I can help you improve. Your current skills will help you fight if a rescue mission were to go wrong, but if you wish, then I can help expand and improve your combat capability even beyond that.”

Heatwave blinked. “You’ll teach me how to fight.” he stated.

“I would be glad to, if you wish to learn. There may come a day when you must fight a true enemy, and if that day comes then greater combat skill may be helpful.” Dreadwing pointed out.

Heatwave narrowed his optics, considering the unsaid implications of that statement. “…you think the War might come to us.”

“Perhaps.” he said grimly. “I pray that it does not, but in the event it does I think it is better that you are prepared to fight against an enemy who truly wishes to see your spark go out.”

He nodded, gaze firming. The others would need lessons too, in that case. The Rescue Force did teach them all basic combat, in the event that they needed to fight off anything that might be threatening whoever or whatever they were rescuing, but their combat training had been pretty basic. If Dreadwing was right, and there was a possibility of Sigma-17 one day facing an opponent that wanted them dead, then they’d need to shape up. He stood, hands curling into fists as his shoulders lifted and determination burned in his spark. He stared the Seeker in the optics.

“Let’s do it.”

Dreadwing stood, a faint smile curling at his lips, and clapped a hand on the youngling’s shoulder. “I look forward to it.” he said, a hint of pride in his tone. Heatwave was so very young, but already he was shaping up to be a fine mech, a fine leader.

Heatwave himself only grinned, blue optics bright. “So do I.”

He’d learned a lot today. Not all of it had been pleasant, and a distinctly unpleasant feeling still curled in his tanks, but he was glad to learn what he had. The past was dark and violent, he’d come to realize. Cybertron’s history was steeped in shadows and darkness and Heatwave was certain that he still didn’t know everything, that Dreadwing had certainly omitted many of the worst of the details. Given all that, he really couldn’t find it in himself to be surprised that the War had happened.

Now though, wasn’t the time to focus on the past. Not Cybertron’s past, and not on Dreadwing’s past either. He tilted his helm up to turn his grin on the larger bot, leaning his weight into the hand on his shoulder and enjoying the small physical contact. Yes, he decided. Dreadwing’s past didn’t matter, not here. All that mattered was what was to come, and Heatwave was determined to meet whatever the future held for them head on.

For himself, and for his newfound family — all of them, even its newest addition.

———————————————————————————————————

Here it is, folks! The next installment in “of moments in life”! This one goes a little deeper into Pre-War Cybertron’s social/political climate. Heatwave got a massive reality check. He was sorta privileged, by the standards of the Golden Age, and he’s being forced to realize what that meant and what it blinded him to. Poor youngling, his entire worldview just got rocked.

As for Dreadwing, he now has another son! The next installment will be tHe Blades and Dreadwing one. It’s gonna be sad. They’re gonna talk about their brothers. That’s all I’ll say! I have prompts fo write for before I can get to it, so it’ll be a bit, but stay tuned, it’ll come out! Anyway, hope y’all liked it! Let me know your thoughts!

Until next time, folks!

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whatiwouldgive · 3 years

Text

Sadistic Sabbatical

-This is a purely fictional story dedicated to Alphadom_Master-

I had a sabbatical from work and I decided to make the most of it. I had never been to Europe, so I treated myself to a whole month in a beautiful Airbnb in Spain all by myself so I could immerse myself in the culture. However, things didn’t go quite as I anticipated. I thought I had hit the jackpot when I showed up to the “condo” because the owner was waiting for me to let me in, and he was fucking hot. To top it off, his accent made me weak in the knees. I couldn’t help but think that I would be spending my first night in Spain inside - wanking off while fanaticizing about this amazing specimen of a man. Then, things got a little strange.

When we entered the condo, it definitely wasn’t the same place I had picked out online. This place was a total dump. There were no windows, it was really small, and it looked like it had never been cleaned. I dropped my luggage in disbelief and slowly turned to face my new landlord. I was shocked. All I could say was, “Are you kidding me?” His face didn’t register any emotion. He just looked me in the eye and said, “I don’t let faggots stay in the condo you saw online. Faggots stay here.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I protested, “First of all, I don’t appreciate being called a faggot. Secondly, I don’t think I ever mentioned my sexual identity or what that even has to do with anything. I’m not staying here.” He still showed no emotion at all. “I know a faggot when I see one, and this is where I keep the faggots.” I grabbed my luggage and started to walk out, but I didn’t get far.

I took a fist to the gut. And as I bent forward in pain, his knee made contact with my face knocking me to the floor. My brain was struggling to make sense of what was happening. I had never even been in a fight before, so I had no idea how to handle this situation. I could only raise my head high enough to see his feet, and because I had the breath knocked out of me, I couldn’t even speak. “Take off your clothes and put them with your luggage faggot, I’ll get rid of all that for you.” I felt paralyzed until he raised his voice for the first time. “NOW FAGGOT! Are you deaf?” I didn’t want to get more of a beating, so I did as I was told. I was still to weak to stand, but I took off all my clothes and tossed them on top of my luggage. I heard a chuckle before Master said, “You have such a tiny little penis. You definitely aren’t a man, so you won’t be needing that worthless thing anymore. I will take it from you.” I heard the sound of metal hitting the floor beside me. I looked over and saw the smallest metal chastity cage I had ever seen. The padlock was bigger than the actual cage and I shivered when I saw it also included a long urethral insert. Without thinking, I said, “no, no way.” Master proceeded to grab me by the neck and throw me face down on the coffee table. I heard him rip off his belt which he used to repeated whip my bare ass, and he didn’t hold back. I gripped the sides of the coffee table as the sharp pain seared through my body.

“How dare you tell me no you worthless cocksucker.” Slap! “Faggots exist to obey real alpha men.” Slap! “You are nothing but a piece of shit.” Slap! “You belong on your knees begging to please me.” Slap! “Instead, you come to my condo and disrespect me?” Slap! I was in so much pain and shock at that point, I couldn’t hold back. I began to cry… no I would say sob is the more accurate word. I tried to just stay quiet but I couldn’t stop myself from sobbing out loud.

I heard a sadistic chuckle. “Oh, look. The weakling faggot is crying for me now.” Slap! “That’s a good faggot. I love to make little piss ant homos cry for me.” Smack! “Cry for Daddy you filthy bitch” Smack! “Daddy collects queer tears and keeps them in a jar.” Slap! At that point I started yelling, “Please Sir. Oh God, please stop Sir. Please Sir. I’m so sorry. Please stop.” Slap!

“Are you going to be a good faggot and do as you’re told from now on?” Slap!

“Yes Sir. Just please just stop. I will do anything you want. Just please make it stop.” Slap!

“Are you going to trade in your tiny penis for the metal clit I gave you?” Slap!

“Yes Sir. I’m so sorry Sir. I should have obeyed you and put on the cage. You are right. I don’t deserve my tiny dick. I will let you take my penis away because I don’t deserve it. Please just stop beating me Sir and I will put on the cage like you told me to. Please Sir. Please. Please.” Slap!

“OK faggot. I’m tired of whipping your ass anyway. I will take away your penis and put it in the jar with your queer tears, If you promise that you have learned your lesson on faggot obedience.”

I raised to the cruel looking chastity device to put it on. “I promise Sir. Thank you for teaching me my lesson. I promise to be a better faggot from now on.” I put it on as fast as I could and then collapsed onto the floor in exhaustion and pain.

Master put his belt back on, sat down on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table. He had on a pair of old dirty sneakers.

“Show me your obedience and crawl over here and lick the dirt off the bottom of my shoes while I explain something to you homo runt.” Of course, I did as he ordered even though it took every ounce of strength I had left. And then a sad truth washed over me as I began to lick the dirt from soles of his sneakers. I had a foot fetish. I had masturbated while fantasizing about licking a hot guy’s shoes clean a hundred times before, but I was too ashamed to ever admit it to a man who might possibly let me realize that fantasy. Lusting over such a thing made me feel like a pervert, so it was a part of me I hid from the world. But, as my dick hopelessly strained to harden against the heavy steel cage, I couldn’t deny the gratitude I started to feel for the man who was now dominating me, because deep-down I wanted it. I certainly didn’t want the beating I had received, but for the first time in my life, I was actually acting out my submissive nature and worshiping a real man’s feet. It was a total mind fuck. I couldn’t comprehend how I could simultaneously be so terrified by this cruel alpha bully who just beat the shit out of me and yet still feel like I should thank him for the pleasure of cleaning his shoes with my tongue. Maybe I was a perverted little faggot just as my new Master said?

He asked me if I knew what a faggot with no penis was, but before I could say, “no”, he said, “…a cumdump. You see, the only pleasure a cumdump gets is from servicing real men, because a cumdump isn’t a man at all. Without a penis, the only cock, cum and pleasure a cumdump can get is from servicing real men who use it’s fuck holes. But, I think you already know all this because, now that I just turned you into a cumdump, I think it’s what you know you were born to be.” I continued to lick. “So hole, now that I gave you this gift, I just have to wonder why I haven’t heard you thank me yet.”

Holy shit. My new “clit” was leaking like a faucet. Was I really getting this turned on from being dominated? “I am so sorry Sir. I cannot thank you enough for taking away my worthless little penis and turning me into a cumdump Sir. Thank you for teaching me my place Sir.” I immediately went back to licking, and he pushed his foot against my mouth. He then started moving his sneaker up and down basically using my tongue like a doormat. “That’s better. I will train you to you to be more grateful and how to thank an alpha man properly hole.”

“It pleases me watching you enjoy my dirty shoes pervert. Do they taste good foot slut?” I nodded the best I could and tried to say, “Yes Sir.” But, it sounded like muffled slobbery nonsense with my tongue smashed against his foot. “What’s that fag? I can’t understand you. Another way you can show me gratitude is by showing me how turned on I make you. I already know your type, so you don’t have to pretend you don’t enjoy being dominated. I know you like it, and it amuses me to hear you moan in ecstasy and see you wiggle around and finger your pussy like the slut you are.” I got the point and let the real me show. I started licking side to side so, as he moved his foot up and down, I got to fully taste the entire sole of his shoe heal to toe. I began to moan like a cat in heat as I shoved my middle finger into my ass. I wanted a sexual release so bad, but without any hope of an orgasm, all I could do was thrust my hips back and forth as if I was trying to desperately hump the air in front of me. “That’s right slut. I know you crave me. I know you live to be dominated and abused by alpha men. It makes me happy to make a bitch moan, but from now on, because you are a fag, you will need to beg to worship my feet like this, right?” I nodded and moaned louder. “And, because I am your landlord, I will need to charge you an extra 40 euros for each pair of shoes I let you clean with your tongue, right?” I nodded again and made a noise that was meant to say, “yes Sir.” “I left a couple pair of shoes on your mattress that you will clean tonight. They better look like new when you return them and thank me properly tomorrow.” It sounded like a drooling mess when I tried to say, “Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.” That’s when I finally noticed the mattress on the floor in the corner of the room. Of course it was covered with what looked like 10 pair of shoes.

He stood up, looked down at me, and hocked a large loogie onto my face. “Thank you for spitting in my face Sir.”

“How bad do you want my cock fag?” I was naked in a chastity belt on my knees in pain with whip marks all over my ass. Looking up into his cold eyes and stern face made me feel both fear of him, and desire for him. The mixture of those two feelings at the same time was something I had never experienced. Of course he knew I wanted his cock, but I knew I was still going to have to beg for it like whore. “Oh my God Sir, your cock is what I desire most in this world. I’m your cumdump, and I’m ready to serve. Please Sir, l want it so bad. I need it. Please let taste your alpha meat.” Apparently my plea worked. He unzipped his pants, and pulled out the most amazing cock I had ever seen… not that I had actually seen that many in person. I had only ever slept with 5 men before, so I really wasn’t a slut. But the yearning I was feeling for this straight alpha man who just wanted to use me for his own amusement definitely made me feel like a slut. I grabbed his dick and shoved it into my mouth determined to give him pleasure.

I was rewarded with a powerful back-handed slap in the face that knocked me to his feet. “What the fuck are doing faggot? I didn’t give you permission to suck my dick you stupid whore.” He proceeded to kick me twice in the gut. “Don’t you ever approach an alpha man like that, do you hear me faggot?” I managed to catch enough breath to weakly reply, “Yes Sir. I’m sorry Sir.” “I’m not here for your pleasure bitch, and you have not earned a reward like that you piece of shit. You don’t even want it bad enough.”

“But Sir, I do want it bad. I don’t think I’ve ever been this horny. You made me your cumdump, and then pulled out your cock, so I assumed…” And, then his sneaker was in my face again. This time, he was just standing on my face holding it tightly to the floor.

“Shut the fuck up! You are very lucky I am so patient. You just might be the most stupid fag ever. You obviously don’t know how to submit properly to alpha men, so I am going to have to train you. You see, you just think you want to suck my cock. You think you want it bad. But I don’t intend to fuck your face until you really want it so bad you would do anything for it. Without a penis of your own, your desire to please my cock will only grow more powerful. You will learn what it means to really want cock. You will grow mad with lust. The more desperate you are, the more pleasure I can get from your mouth. I’m not going to waste my time with some half-assed blow job an hour after taking your penis away from you.”

He released my head from the floor. “I just got my cock out because I need to take a piss dumbass.” I had never felt more stupid and worthless. Tears were falling from my eyes. “Have you ever tasted another man’s piss?” “No Sir.”

“Good to hear. I like the idea that, for the rest of your miserable life, you will always remember me every time you drink piss from now on. Now, get on your knees and open your mouth so I can use you like a toilet.” I had just gotten into position when he let it flow. The taste was salty, bitter and unlike anything I had ever tasted before. It was actually kind of gross, but I swallowed it all feeling lucky that I got to be just a couple inches away from Master’s glorious cock. If I couldn’t have his cum, at least I got his piss. He shook off the last drops onto my face, then tucked his dick back in his pants.

“Thank you for letting me drink your piss Sir. I am grateful to be your urinal.” He laughed at me. “You are no urinal. You are just a hole. If you want me to turn you into a real urinal, it will cost you 800 euros.” I was confused, but agreed to pay him. “A urinal doesn’t just get occasionally pissed on by one man. A urinal is a public toilet that gets used all day everyday by an endless line of men. Follow me into the bathroom hole.” “Yes Sir.” What he showed me had me even more confused. There was a sewage pipe coming down from the ceiling. It connected to a very large transparent plastic tank sitting on the floor of the bathroom. It was halfway full of urine. “There is a gym upstairs, and one of the urinals in the locker room stopped working. Since I own the building, I was going to have to pay to get it fixed. It was much cheaper to just run the sewage line to here. However, this tank obviously needs to be emptied or it will overflow into the urinal upstairs. You will empty it from now on. Lay down on your stomach.” “Yes Sir.” Once I was on the floor, I saw the dildo sticking out of the bottom of the tank. “Suck it bitch.” ”Yes Sir.” I cupped the dildo with my mouth and sucked as I was ordered. Piss came shooting out of the dildo into my mouth. Apparently, to empty the tank I had to apply suction to the dildo and drink the all the piss. I continued to suck and drink to show Master that I understood how it worked. The problem was, there were gallons of piss in the tank. He couldn’t possibly expect me to drink all of it. “Now you can practice sucking cock and help with my little sewage problem at the same time whenever I’m not using you. Congratulations hole. You are now a urinal.” I didn’t want to appear ungrateful, so I continued to drink as he talked.

“Pathetic weak little homo. You were obviously born to serve alpha men. I can’t believe you aren’t someone’s full-time slave already. It only took an hour to turn your sub ass into a cumdump, bootlicker and urinal. We are going to have so much more fun, but I have to go now. I think you have enough fag work to keep you busy. You should also have time to think about how you can please me better.”

He turned and left me on the floor. When I heard the door shut, I decided it was time to make a break for freedom. However, I was in so much pain it hurt to move. When I finally made it to the door I couldn’t open it. He had locked it from the outside. I was trapped! I worked my way over to the mattress and fell into the pile of shoes. I was defeated and terrified. Without even thinking, I grabbed the closest shoe and began licking as if it is what I was programed to do.

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fallen-gravity · 3 years

Text

Soft Hearts and After-Midnight Talks

Ford can’t let go of the past. Mabel can’t stop worrying about the future.

Put together, they’re a melting pot of insomnia and overwhelming emotions.

AO3 Link

Love had never come easy to Ford.

As a kid, his father always said it wasn’t manly to show affection. It made a man weak to wear his heart on his sleeve, and he was merely doing him a favor by showing him tough love, because out in the real world the men who put their emotions first would get torn to shreds.

His mother tried her hardest, but she too had times where she was too busy running her psychic hotline or helping Pa run the pawn shop to pay him much attention.

Ford supposes the closest he ever had to unconditional love as a kid came from Stan. Whenever Ma or Pa were too busy, or the kids at school were screaming and running from his deformity, he knew he could always rely on Stan to be there for him. He’d always been the one to throw a punch for him, to talk him through a panic attack, patch up the scrapes and black eyes he’d received from Crampelter, or even assure him that getting a B minus on an exam wasn’t the end of the world, even if his eyes were rolling into the back of his skull the entire time he said it.

But even that sort of love felt fickle. The night of the science fair, it felt as though something inside of Ford shriveled up and died, and he knew that the rejection from West Coast Tech was only the half the cause of it.

When Stan drove off into the night, it’s as if he took that shriveled up little piece of Ford with him as his grand final fuck you.

After that, Ford tried everything he could. In college he buried himself into the research he was most passionate for, but that could only get him so far when Fiddleford would drag him to bed and force him to be alone with his thoughts. He’d tried going out drinking to forget said thoughts, but he learned the hard way that he was an emotional drunk and alcohol only made those thoughts worse.

If there’s anything he did know, it’s that this lack of love in his life could probably explain how he was able to fall for Bill’s cunning tricks so easy.

“Unlovable?” Bill’s words still rang in the back of his head. “By the time this portal’s finished, you’ll have the whole world at your feet! You’ll be a household name! There’ll be thousands cheering the name Stanford Pines, the man who changed the world!”

What a fool he’d been, blissfully ignoring all of the warning signs for even the slightest chance that a gateway between worlds could earn him love.

What an even bigger fool he’d been to turn away his brother’s love even after ten years of nothing but fear and resentment standing between them.

Ford sighs. He knows, logically, that dwelling on the past will only make things worse. He knows things are okay between him and Stan now. They’re setting off on their first journey on the Stan-O War II next week; things couldn’t get any better between them.

But he also knows that insomnia and intrusive thoughts are a package deal. He’d tried sitting out on the front porch to gaze at the stars and feel the late-summer air on his face to relax, but his inner demons always find their way.

There’s a tiny knock on the doorframe behind him. He jumps at the noise, and turns to see who else could possibly be awake at nearly three in the morning. He’s half expecting Stan, but to his surprise it’s Mabel, sleepily rubbing at her eyes with one hand and holding a half-empty cup of ice water in the other.

“Grunkle Ford?” her voice is groggy and strained. “Is that you?”

“Mabel?” is the only comprehensive response that comes out. “What are you doing up so late?”

“Dipper cursed me with his insomnia and now I can’t sleep” she pouts, and takes a sip from her cup like it’s a shot glass as he joins him on the couch. “Why are you still up, Grunkle Ford?” she squints. “I feel like I should ask you the same question”

He chuckles. “Nothing you need to worry about, dear. I’m just doing some thinking”

“Hmmm…” she squints long and hard at him, like she’s trying to read his mind. “Okay, but I’m watching you. I’m the expert at annoying people until they tell me what’s bothering them”

Ford can’t help but smile. “Noted,” he replies, and shifts his position so he’s facing more towards her. “What about you? I’m the expert in insomnia, so I can’t imagine it’s the only thing keeping you awake"

For the briefest of moments, Mabel’s playful smile drops. She hides the sudden shift by taking another sip of water.

“What? Psshhh…” she dismisses the thought with a wave of her hand. “That’s silly! Everyone knows insomnia means you can’t sleep for no reason. Some expert you are, Grunkle Ford”

She smiles, but it’s strained, and fake, and nothing like the usual smile she flashes when she’s joking around.

“Mabel.” Ford says once, in a firm yet soft tone, and she winces.

“Okay, fine” she mumbles, and drinks the rest of the water from her cup before she continues. “I’ve been having some dumb thoughts too”.

Ford shakes his head. “There’s no such thing as a dumb thought, Mabel. Even if it’s bothering you, it’s indicative of how you’re really feeling” he pats gently at his lap, inviting her to scoot closer. “Maybe I can help” he smiles, ever so slightly, ever so softly. “Even us experts mess up in our own fields sometimes”

She moves too quickly into his arms for a hug for him to read her expression properly.

“Then I feel like a big dumb hypocrite” Mabel murmurs into Ford’s sweater, her voice on the edge of breaking.

Ford frowns, and places an arm around her to reciprocate the hug. “What for?”

Mabel scrunches up his sweater in her fists. “I...I made this whole big ordeal about Dipper wanting to stay here with you after the summer’s over for the apprenticeship, and I still don’t want us to be apart, but…” she buries her face into his sweater, like she’s ashamed of herself for even daring to speak them. “...now that summer’s actually over, and Dipper and I are supposed to be leaving in the morning, I’m not sure I even want to leave”

Her voice finally breaks, and she sniffles into his sweater. “Everyone’s always saying that the real world is so scary, and high school is the worst, and all these things about not knowing what you had until it’s gone, and...I don’t want it to be gone, Grunkle Ford, I love Gravity Falls. But I can’t just tell Dipper that, because then he’ll get all worried, and think that he did something wrong, because he’s already apologized for what he said when we were fighting a thousand times, and-”

Ford gently grips Mabel’s shoulders to cut her off, and pulls her away to make her look him in the eyes. “Mabel, are you going through all of this trouble because you’re worried you’re going to...miss Gravity Falls when you get home?”

“Not just the town!” Mabel exclaims, and rubs at her eyes with her wrist. “I’m gonna miss everything! I’m gonna miss the Shack, I’m gonna miss my friends, I’m gonna miss you and Stan,” she counts off on her fingers and sighs. “I miss everyone at home. I do. But now that I have so many friends here, I don’t want to feel like I’m leaving them behind”

There’s a brief pause, but before Ford can open his mouth to respond, Mabel goes on, murmuring so quietly it’s as if she doesn’t mean to speak out loud at all.

“Or...I don’t want to feel like they’re leaving me behind.”

...Oh.

The fear of being left behind.

Forgotten.

The fear of becoming….unlovable.

That….Ford knows better than anybody.

“Mabel, listen to me,” Ford gently tugs on her chin to force her to make eye contact with him. “Nobody in this town is ever going to forget you. It doesn’t matter if you’re gone for a year, or three, or ten, I can guarantee that the next time you step foot in this town everyone’s going to remember the name Mabel Pines”

“You...really think so?” she blushes.

“I know so,” he nods. “And it’s got nothing to do with Weirdmageddon, or saving the world, or any of that. It’s because you’re magnetic, Mabel. You’ve got a personality that everyone loves. I bet that pizza delivery man you became pen pals with is just sitting at home eagerly awaiting his first letter from you”

She giggles. “I don’t know about that…”

“Still,” Ford continues, “You’ve shown kindness to everyone, Mabel. People don’t forget kindness easily.” he gestures out towards the forest. “Gravity Falls may not be your home, but the people who lived here sure don’t seem to see it that way. You’re not just a tourist, or just some kid visiting her great uncle, you’re one of them.” he beams. “They’re lucky to have had you, Mabel, even just for the one summer”

Her eyes have pools of tears in them, but the beaming smile on her face outshines them. She hurls herself at him in a tight hug, burying her face deep into his sweater.

“I’m lucky to have you too, Grunkle Ford” she murmurs. “I love you”

I love you.

Ford hasn’t had those words spoken to him since he was a kid.

I love you.

It feels like he’s floating on air, and the most grounded he’s felt in decades. It’s freeing, and exhilarating, yet it’s comfortable, and warm. It’s unfamiliar, yet everything he ever lost.

The words ring in his ears and bounce around in his chest before they settle comfortably into the piece of his heart that had been broken for decades.

I love you.

Mabel Pines, after everything he’s put her through, loves him.

A sound escapes him that’s halfway between choking and sobbing. He pulls her even closer into his arms, and silently vows to never let the cruel world dig its pessimistic claws into her for as long as she lives.

“I love you too,” he manages to whisper, and gives her a smooch on the top of her head.

#my writing #gravity falls #ford and mabel bonding #sweater twins #ford pines #mabel pines

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

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Sorry, sorry for a second request! Do you think you could do Prompt 9 or 17 with Shisui Uchiha?

I recently got so many requests about him which is kind of funny since he was a minor character in Naruto. But he is an Uchiha so I guess that explains it.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, kidnapping, manipulation, sabotage, intimidation, Shisui revealing his dark side, threatening, mentioning of killing

Prompt 9: “Do you want me to break your legs or lock you in a cage to prevent you from running away?”

Would you kill for love? Would you be ready to go as far as hurting, threatening and manipulating everyone in your way just to be able to know that the person you were madly in love with would return the favor and love you back? And would you feel guilty if you did so? Or would you tell yourself that this was necessary? Would you even feel ashamed of it in the first place?

Maybe it was sometimes easier to be obvious and more naive, maybe being blind was sometimes a good thing. Because seeing things very clearly and remembering whatever he did took it's psycological impact on Shisui, a lot more than he let others see. He was sure that he had every time be lenient with people which had saved a lot of stupid asses from him. He had been careful with whatever he had done, be that stalking, killing or other things he had done due to his obsession.

Everything had been hidden under multiple layers of friendliness, charm and intelligence, a nice guy act he had put on so he wouldn't scare you away and make you suspect him. Shisui had been rather determined to make you fall naturally for him without having to rely on anything else besides his natural charm and maybe a few threats here and there to scare potential rivals away. He had worked hard for all of this, having invested months to bring you to confess your love to him and a few other years just to keep a strong relationship with you. There were imperfect times as well, but that was normal and both of you had always been able to discuss it out. Shisui had been proud of this, that both of you were able to always talk about things and find a solution.

But even the sweetest lie must find it's end and looking back on it, he should have seen it coming. Love was in the end the strongest yet most fragile thing in this world. It could either go through the toughest of times or shatter with the slightest breeze of the wind. Truly ironic. Only one small mistake had been all that was needed to expose him to you, though many things were still in the dark for you and Shisui was not willing to tell you detailed everything he had ever done.

And now you were afraid of him, something he had never wanted. Instead of a smile you wore a mask of horror, instead of leaning into his touch you flinched away, instead of warmth and trust there were pain and tears in your eyes.

It was distraughting to see for the Uchiha, to know that the person he had planned on loving and protecting with all he had was now afraid of him. Life didn't go always his way and it was something normal, but even he had been mad at no one in particular because he hadn't had someone to blame except the person who had tattled too much and they had gone silent already, Shisui had guaranteed this to happen. But now he had been left with the knowledge that you knew the truth, wanted to break up with him, wanted to let others know the truth about the golden boy who was together with Itachi one of the most talented Uchiha.

How could he ever let that happen? He had a reputation and didn't want to disappoint his friend, his Kage, his village. Much less could he imagine a life without you on his side, he had never felt that desperate before like when he had seen you in such a devastated state, crying and shouting at him to leave, to go away, to never show his face in front of you again.

What other choice had he left except not only having to use his Sharingan on you and to make sure that you wouldn't be under too much humans for a while? You would have ruined everything he had worked on. Shisui had quickly thought about all sorts of excuses to why you would be gone for a long time, why you wouldn't be able to see friends and family for a while anymore. He knew that this wouldn't work for forever, even he was not allmighty. But he had been able to buy more time to think of something better because controlling you with his Sharingan for the rest of his life was tiring even for him and he disliked the thought of forcing you to love him. It didn't feel right to do. Not like anything he had done so far had been right.

But recently there had been something that had unnerved him a lot, managing to make him question his sanity. The way he had suddenly turned so much more threatening and intimidating on you. The first time he had done it, it had been quite surprising and he had paused when he had noticed what he had done. Never before had he been forced to do this, using threats on you. But now he had to, a new and frightening thing for you to witness, making you understand just why he was so feared by rival villages. Shisui had a cold and rational side to him, only doing what was best for his village and his comrades.

But being so selfish over it was something you weren't used to see, Shisui always made sure to be fair. But what had you known about him anyways? All you had known was his one side, the other side of him had always been a mystery to you. And you knew why. Now you knew why.

"Do you want me to break your legs or lock you in a cage to prevent you from running away?"

Because no one wanted to be near a cold killer like him, someone who kept all his emotions hidden under a perfect poker face with the red eyes that reminded you of a demon gazing at you. There was nothing on his face, no sympathy, no guilt, no nothing. It was probably best to not let emotions get the better of him, not when he was being assigned to kill people without hesitation.

His words had a numbing effect on you, causing you to stop struggling instantly, instead slowly falling down to your knees, trying to get your trembling breath under control. You had troubles to stay the smallest bit calm, not when fear was pumping through every single cell of you and made you flinch by even the smallest noises.

You didn’t know what was even scarier. The words he had just spoken or the person who had said them. Or maybe it was even the fact that you didn’t even know anymore whether to believe he wouldn’t do it or he would. There might have been a time where you would have taken all of this as a joke, but as you felt his cold presence lingering right over you, the glimmering eyes feeling like attempting to drill through your head and the tight grip he had the moment he wrapped his fingers around your arm, the hands with which he had killed and hurt others, made you doubt that he wouldn’t do it.

Still though, you wanted to play with your luck. Maybe you would be able to calm him a bit down and make something more human appear on his face.

Maybe.

“You wouldn’t.”, you stated with a more firm voice than expected, looking him daringly in his eyes. The glimmer of hope in you must have been still there inside of you.

You saw him quirking his eyebrow slightly when being met with the sudden courage of yours despite the fact that you were still shaking like a mice in front of it’s predator.

“What makes you feel so confident?”

“I might not have realized what you’ve been up to. But I’ve known and loved you long enough that you wouldn’t hurt those you cherish and love.”, you replied, continuing to endure his Sharingan despite the knowledge that he might trap you in a genjutsu at any moment.

He stared at you for a while, scanning you up and down in an observing way.

“I wouldn’t be so confident if I were you. You do not know what I am capable off.”

This was discouraging because you couldn’t tell if you had managed to hit a nerve of his or not, Shisui was an excellent actor. He didn’t give anything away.

“That’s true. I don’t know what you’re capable off. But I know that you have your honor and duty as well. So you wouldn’t hurt an innocent citizen, not if you are loyal to the Leaf. Because if you do, you are a terrible person. If you really love me, you won’t hurt me. Otherwise I am just an ignorant fool who still believes in love. In that case I would like you to do what you just threatened me you would do so I can stop seeing you as my love, but as the manipulative and cruel person you are. I won’t sugarcoat anything anymore. However, be aware that I will hate you for eternity afterwards and would rather die than acting like nothing ever happened.”

Your tone sounded warning and he knew that you had just threatened him just as much as he had done. He was a bit surprised that you had still the guts to talk to him like this, but you had always been someone who often managed to feel brave in a tricky situation.

You still had faith in him despite everything he had done? Shisui felt his inner conflict growing more and more, feelings clashing with each other and he maybe felt himself moving his poker face the tiniest bit, though it was too short for you to be sure you had really seen it.

Why had this to happen to you two? You could have been a happy couple. But it was too late to regret this. The past was the past. And Shisui had to focus on the present and the future.

“You think too highly of me.”, he told you, bending down so he didn’t have to stare down at you like this.

“You do not know what I had to do already in my life (y/n). You have no idea what I could do. I don’t want to hurt you, I really don’t want to hurt you. However, I won’t take the risk of you potentially ruining everything I’ve worked on so hard. So do not test me and my patience.”

For a short moment he looked a bit exhausted, though this moment flashed by rather quickly and he went back to his emotionless face.

You felt bitterness stirring up inside of you as well as the feeling of losing hope and disappointment. Did he really mean this?

You jerked away when he suddenly grabbed your shoulders, looking like he wanted to say something else.

“I don’t have a choice (y/n). You left me no other options. I do not expect you to understand why I do what I do. But at the very least please understand that I never wanted this to happen. I still love you.”

The slightest bit of distraught, marking all his actions slightly, specifically the sudden desperate tightening of his grip.

“I’m sorry. But I have to be this way.”

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto shippuden #yandere shisui #yandere shisui uchiha

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ladylouoflothlorien · 3 years

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Can i ask for a comfort about Dwalin noticing on reader's wrists scars (shes from our world and she showed by accident her arms). He asks what he was fighting with and she answers that she was fighting with her own mind. It can take place by some waterfall hence taking off the long sleeved shirt and being caught off guard. The reader is young and Dwalin is really proud that she was so strong to face herself, her own demons

Here it is anon! It’s not exactly the same as the prompt because the characters sort of told me what to do in the scenario, either way I hope you enjoy it!

Cope with me

word count: 1396 trigger warning: mentions of self harm, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Please please please do not read this fic if you think this will trigger you.

Whenever you’d dreamt about being in middle earth and joining The Company on their quest, one of the things that had never really occurred to you to think about was the lack of basic sanitary facilities that would be available on the journey. Since you’d somehow become part of the story however, it was something you thought about nearly constantly, and openly complained about almost as often. That being said, when The Company ended up camped close to a waterfall for the night, it was an opportunity to get clear that you weren’t going to miss.

Once everyone was settled and the camp was set up, you’d wasted no time grabbing the small bar of soap you’d pilfered in Rivendell and made your way over to the waterfall, though not without yelling behind you.

“Don’t even think about following me!”

You didn’t want any of them seeing you naked on accident - or on purpose for that matter.

Luckily, you managed to find a relatively dry, flat rock on the bank of the river that flowed from the base of the waterfall and this was - you decided - as good a place as any to put your clothes whilst you bathed. It was unfortunate that you couldn’t clean the clothes as well, but you didn’t have any others. If you got them wet you’d be shivering for the rest of the night.

The light was fading quickly, and with it the remaining warmth of the day. The faster you got into the water and got clean, the less frigid the air would be when you had to drag yourself out of the water. With that in mind, you set about tugging off the thick, long-sleeved sweater you were wearing and tried to ignore the way the chill breeze bit at the newly exposed skin.

Back at the camp, Thorin shared a glance with Dwalin before including his head in the direction of the waterfall.

“Follow her. It’s not safe to be alone, not for any of us.”

The warrior grumbled slightly under his breath, but he was already getting up off of his makeshift seat.

“Why not send one of yer nephews to babysit?”

Thorin shook his head slightly, and though he didn’t exactly smile Dwalin could see the way his amusement crinkled at the edges of his eyes.

“It wouldn’t be fair to her, Dwalin. They’re young, no doubt they’d try to get an eyeful of something they shouldn’t.”

You’d just managed to get the sweater part way over your head when you heard the sound of a stick breaking not too far behind you. You whirled around, trying to see what had made the noise, but your vision was almost entirely obscured by the fabric of your sweater.

“Who’s there?”

You were quite impressed that your voice didn’t shake even a little as you spoke.

“Easy lass, it’s just me.”

“Oh, Dwalin… Wait, why did you follow me? I told everyone not to follow me.”

“Thorin doesn’t think it’s safe.”

“Oh, ok well that does make a lot of sense. I didn’t even think about that. So what, you’re just going to guard me whilst I bathe? You better keep your back to me the whole time.”

Still buzzing with adrenaline from the threat - or imagined threat - of danger, you shucked off your sweater and set about folding it nearly without even thinking of the fact that you would be exposing your bare arms to the gruff Dwarf.

“Because you know, if I catch you even thinking about trying to peak at me I’ll-”

You glanced up and stopped talking suddenly when you saw the expression on his face. He was frowning, staring intensely at your arms. You blinked, confused, and then felt your stomach drop.

“Well shit.”

You’d been so careful up to that point not to show anyone your scars. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of them - well, maybe it was a little that, but more so you just hadn’t been ready to have to explain them to anyone. It was deeply personal, and it wasn’t ever a nice conversation to have. Dwalin’s frown deepened. His eyebrows were so deeply furrowed that it made you want to pole the line that formed between them.

“We were all thinking ye’ weren’t a fighter, lass.”

It was your turn to frown. You looked away from his face suddenly, and crossed your arms in front of yourself. Your hands gripped your forearms, palms laying flat over the most obvious of the scars as if somehow hiding them from his view could take back the fact that he’d already seen them.

“That… It’s not… They’re not…”

You pursed your lips and huffed, annoyed that you didn’t have some pre-prepared speech for such a situation. Sure, maybe that would be a little weird, but it sure would be helpful.

“You were right, I’m not a fighter. I didn’t get these from any fight.”

His expression darkened.

“Did someone hurt ye?”

His fingers twitched slightly, you only just caught the movement. You wondered absently if he was imagining driving his axe through the skull of anyone who would harm a defenceless little girl - you were sure that was how he saw you.

“Well… not exactly.” You shrugged. “I um, I made these myself.”

You watched as his expression cleared somewhat, but then you saw the beginning of understanding dawn on his face and it seemed to darken once again. You swallowed thickly in an attempt to keep your emotions in check. After a moment, you heard Dwalin clear his throat before he attempted speaking again, his tone careful.

“Surely yer no’ tha’ clumsy lass.”

One deep breath, and then…

“You’re right, I’m not. I did these” your hands let go of your forearms and gestured back to them vaguely “myself. On purpose.”

Silence fell, and you wondered if Dwalin would have any idea how to deal with this new information. The silence stretched almost to the point of being unbearable, but then you heard him clear his throat again and he began to speak.

“After Azanulbizar, I drank. A lot.”

His voice softened almost to a whisper. You didn’t think you’d ever heard him speak so softly.

“Far too much. It was far from healthy, but sometimes unhealthy things are all we think we have to cope wi’ the pain.”

You looked back at him again, looking him straight in the eyes and you saw understanding there. You only realised you were crying when you felt a drop of water fall onto your arm and you looked down at it. You weren’t sure if you were crying for yourself or Dwalin, but you nodded at what he was saying all the same.

“When you feel like you’re drowning you’ll take any coping mechanisms, even the shitty ones I guess.”

He moved so quietly you didn’t notice that he’d gotten closer until he was wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a tight hug. It was only when you were pressed to him that you even realised you were shivering slightly. Dwalin let you cry until the tears naturally began to peeter out and you wriggled an arm free from his hold so you could rub at your eyes. He silently offered you a handkerchief, which you gratefully took. Still, there was one more thing you wanted to say.

“I don’t… I haven’t made a new one in a long time. I promised I wouldn’t.”

“Aye lass, I can tell the difference between old wounds and fresh.”

He took a step back, seemingly assessing you before he replied.

“I don’t drink anymore. No’ a drop. Only Balin and Thorin know. I will no’ tell anyone, ye’ have my word.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realise you’d been holding, and you were so relieved that you even managed a watery smile. He seemed pleased.

“Have yer wash lass, I’ll keep guard an’ I’ll keep my eyes where they belong as well.” You did and, true to his word, Dwalin didn’t try to peek at you once. When you were done, dressed again and only shivering because of the cold, Dwalin wrapped his cloak around your shoulders and led you back to camp. If you spent the rest of the evening all but glued to his side, well, that was no one’s business but yours and his.

The End. Notes: Azanulbizar is the battle in which Dwalin & Balin’s father Fundin was slain.

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moody-blues-requiem · 3 years

Note

Sooooo... If askbox is still open, may I leave a request for Squadra and female s/o, if they've caught her masturbating in their room and moaning their name? (Also, I love your writings so much!)

Trying to get back into the swing of things with running this blog! My writing skills feel a tad bit rusty, but hopefully you enjoy these all the same!

n/s/f/w under the cut!

Risotto freezes when he hears you moan out his name. It’s late at night in the base, most everyone is away on various missions, and he’s only up to grab a glass of water. But your noises have him intrigued, completely forgetting about the drink. He’s so tempted to force his way into your room, he knows he’s strong enough to shoulder-check the door in-- but that would really ruin the moment, wouldn’t it? He likes to think he’s better than being a peeping tom, but your whimpers are too much. He uses Metallica to open up the keyhole in your door, a perfect little peephole for him to watch you fall apart to the thought of him ruining you. He notes how you keep one hand on your throat while you cum. He won’t be going back to sleep for a little while.

Prosciutto knows the sounds you’re making, the way you moan out his name. He knows immediately what’s going on. And he knocks. “Bella? You need something?” He’s not the type to beat around the bush-- he’ll leave if you don’t want him there (or aren’t ready to admit to your crush on him just yet), but he can hear fabric rustling. The door peeks open a crack, you’re clad in nothing but a thin robe. “I…” you start, trying to find the words to explain yourself. “Maybe you should come in.” He doesn’t leave your room until the next morning, after a night spent exploring each others feelings and bodies, together.

Pesci listens for a moment…. You’re not actually calling out for him, right? Why would you be calling out for-- ah, yep, that was a moan, he knows what you’re doing. He rushes back to his own room, blushing all over, pants already tightening. Should he feel ashamed that he’s going to masturbate to the thought of you masturbating to him? Well… you did it first! And besides, it just feels too good. He cums harder than he has in a while. Should he… talk to you about this? Should he tell you he feels the same? He doesn’t know how to proceed. He’ll get there, though. Eventually.

We can all guess what Illuso does. You, thinking you would outsmart him, covered the floor-length mirror in your bedroom so he wouldn’t be able to sneak in. But he can use any reflective surface as a mirror, and the lamp on your nightstand has a beautifully shiny base that gives him a perfect view of the show. He lies on your bed in the mirror world, right where you are, and touches himself. He matches his pace to yours, speeding up as you do, your hearts beating in sync… and reaches his peak, moaning your name at the same time that you moan his. He slips away undetected, but for a while you can’t shake the feeling that you might not be alone.

Formaggio’s solution, like Illuso’s, is pretty predictable. He shrinks down and slips in your room to watch the show. He hides himself behind your lamp or a picture frame on your nightstand, watching everything. God, you were beautiful, but seeing you in such an intimate moment really drove Formaggio wild. He can’t hold back from reaching his hand into his pants and rubbing himself alongside you. He cums in his pants (not his first time) so as not to leave any trace of his presence, and sneaks out before you can catch him. He’ll repeat this process a few more times before confronting you about overhearing his name-- and playing innocent.

Melone just fucking. Opens your door. You swore you locked it! You had double checked! Hadn’t you? Regardless, there he was, leaning against your doorframe and smirking like a devil. “You called? Oh, you look absolutely delicious, is this all for me?” He wouldn’t blame you if you kicked him out, but he had to shoot his shot. If you let him in, you’re in for a hell of a time. It’s like he knows your body already (he doesn’t. We know he’s creepy, but he wouldn’t do that to a teammate) with the way he fingers you at just the right angles, hitting spots you’d never found, bringing you to a swift orgasm. And he’s packing behind that thin purple jumpsuit, you can see his erection, perhaps you’ll return the favor?

Ghiaccio blushes furiously. You! Moaning his name! He almost can’t believe it, how did he not notice your feelings sooner…? Thoughts race through his head about what to do. Should he knock? Should he, what, text you? Should he bring it up at all? Maybe a shower will clear his head. Despite his icy stand, his showers are boiling lava hot, and the bathroom is thick with burning steam as he furiously jacks himself off, grumbling your name under his breath. Damn you, clouding his mind with emotions!

With Sorbet and Gelato, you’re taking your life into your own hands (especially if you’re only pining for one of them. They’re a package deal, no exceptions). Absolute wild cards, these two. But if they catch wind of you moaning for them as you touch yourself, they absolutely will force their way into your room. “We’re right here, why didn’t you say something sooner?” “Don’t get shy on us now, bella, your voice was so lovely… why don’t you keep going, and show us how you really feel?”

#vento aureo #la squadra di esecuzione #hitman team #jjba #golden wind #risotto nero #prosciutto #formaggio #melone #illuso #ghiaccio #pesci #sorbet and gelato #my writing #n/s/f/w #va #anon #Anonymous

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kagstea · 3 years

Text

tsukishima k. - why him

tsukishima x reader

description: tsukishima desperately wants to be supportive of his friends, but how could he when it does nothing but hurt him?

warnings: unrequited love, angst

“I like Yamaguchi.”

Tsukishima stopped walking, his feet suddenly feeling heavy. The words repeated in his head, in your voice and in your tone. Although he wasn’t looking at you as you confessed, he could just imagine the bright, shy smile that adorned your face. It upset him. “Oh, yeah?” He said.

You turned around, his voice sounding farther than before. To your surprise, he wasn’t by your side. Instead, he was a few steps back. “Tsuki, are you okay?”

His eyes snapped to yours. “Huh? Why wouldn’t I be?” As his mouth moved, he felt the frown present, and quickly covered it up with a cough. “I’m fine. What were you saying?”

Before you could answer, he started walking again without you, leaving you to chase after him. “I just… I think I like Yamaguchi.”

Tsukishima lowered his eyes. There it goes again. That blush creeping up on your cheeks as you talked about another guy with him. It sickened him, even though it shouldn’t.

Using his middle finger, he pushed his glasses up on his nose. “Are you going to tell him?”

You shrugged. “I’m not sure, honestly. I only thought about it recently. And I’m not even sure he likes me back. Do you know how embarrassed I would be if he rejects me? What do you think I should do?”

He drowned you out already, hoping you would get the hint and just stop talking. This is not how he wanted his day to go. Usually he enjoyed walking home with you and hates how fast the time goes. But today, it seemed to drag on longer, and Tsukishima found himself just wanting to be in his room already.

“Tsuki?” He stopped when you pulled on his arm. You stared up at him in concen. “Are you sure you’re okay? You seem pale?”

His breath hitched as your hand slowly reached up to touch his face. Before he knew it, he snatched his arm out of your grasp and backing up, shocking both of you. “I...I just remembered. I have to go do something before going home. Go ahead without me. I’ll see you later.” Tsukishima rambled on, not daring to look you in the face before he ran off.

“Tsuki! Yamaguchi ran excitedly to catch up to his best friend, catching him off guard. “Tsuki!”

He grabbed onto his shoulders, stopping him in his tracks. The taller one looked at his friend, removing his headphones from his ears and letting them rest on his shoulder.

“What-”

“Y/N just confessed to me!”

Tsukishima quickly stopped himself from frowning. Instead, he asked, “Right now?”

Yamaguchi nodded, his smile growing by the second. “Yeah! A few minutes ago!”

He put his hands in his pockets. “Did you accept?”

Please say no. Please, let me be selfish just this one time.

“Yes!”

Tsukishima had to be happy. So he forced a grin, and patted Yamaguchi on his back proudly. “Well, happy for you. Always thought you two would look good together.”

Liar. Tsukishima was a liar, and he lied to his best friends and to himself.

He used practice as a way to let off some of the frustration that had built up during the day. It was effective, and definitely noticed by his teammates. He thought it was a good coping method and it had distracted him enough from his feelings.

As he took long gulps from his water bottle, a sharp slap on his back made him jump forward. He wiped his mouth and turned to Noya and Tanaka, who gave him a thumbs up of approval. The libero showed his teeth as he grinned, saying, “You made me proud today! As your upperclassmen, I almost teared up seeing you so into practice and…”

Tsukishima stopped paying attention when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He watched as you stood by the entrance, seeming to be waiting. Out of habit, he picked up his feet to go towards you, but stopped as he saw someone else greet you. He didn’t have to look at that person to know who it was. Your happy smile was a dead giveaway.

His eyes trailed Yamaguchi’s hand as he reached for yours and intertwined your fingers. He couldn’t help but tense up, his grip tightening on his bottle.

“Woah, are you good?” Tanaka’s voice boomed through his ears, capturing his attention.

“What?” Tsukishima asked. “I’m fine.” His response came off a little more aggressive than he intended to, but he didn’t get the chance to apologize as he walked away, ready to go home.

As he stuffed his belongings into his bag, he stopped. Would he still walk home with you? Or would you walk home with Yamaguchi? Is there a chance the two would invite him to come with?

“Ah, Tsuki!” Yamaguchi walked up to him, sweat dripping down the sides of his head. He stopped just before him, pointing back at you. “We’re about to head out, are you ready?”

So they are inviting me, he thought. After a second, he shook his head. “You guys go ahead, there’s somewhere I need to stop first.”

Yamaguchi frowned slightly. “Oh, really? Well, okay. We’ll see you tomorrow then!”

Tsukishima nodded, not paying him any attention as he left the gym with you.

It was a weekly thing for Tsukishima to meet up with you at your house to study. He was afraid of being a third wheel, but he was more afraid of the two picking up on his odd behavior if he bailed. So he forced himself to go next door, waiting for you to let him in.

“You’re here?”

He looked up, seeing you dressed comfortably and wearing a smile. The sight had momentarily made him forget about his recent heartbreak, keyword being momentarily.

You pushed the door open wider to let him pass, and he headed straight to your room as usual. He had noticed how empty it was, and as he took his bag off and you entered, he asked, “Is Yamaguchi running late?”

You raised an eyebrow and gave him a look. “What do you mean? Why would Yamaguchi come?”

Tsukishima just blinked at you. “Why wouldn’t he come?”

“He never comes? Just because we’re dating doesn’t mean we’re together every second, Tsuki.” You laughed at his naivety, sitting down at the small table covered in your books.

He was confused as to how you acted like everything was normal. But also, he was upset with how much easier it was for you compared to him. Shaking his head, Tsukishima sat down across from you, pulling his own books out.

“Should we start with English today? I barely understood anything from this week.” You raised your arms to stretch, groaning in the process. “I honestly feel so drained.”

He hummed in acknowledgement, grabbing his English workbook then looking for his pencil pouch.

You tilted your head, realizing he wasn’t making any snarky remarks today. Actually, it had been a while since he had acted like himself. Knowing pestering him would do no good, you decide to start it lightly. As you hugged your knees to your chest and leaned forward, you asked, “Tsuki, you know you can talk to me about anything right? I don’t judge.”

He stopped his actions briefly, debating whether to open his heart or keep being considerate of you and Yamaguchi. In the end, he nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

You stared at him intently, trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong with him. “And I mean anything.”

“I know, Y/N.”

“I’m a really good listener. And my advice is pretty good too.”

“I’m sure.”

“I would never think lowly of you, Tsuki. I care a lot about you, we’re friends after all-”

The clattering of a few pencils falling echoed in your room. Tsukishima had lost his grip, and lowered his head. You thought you had broken through to him, until he spoke up.

“Why him?”

The words were mumbled, you weren’t sure you heard right. “Huh?”

“I said, why him?”

The atmosphere in the room changed drastically, and you felt shivers run up your spine. Suddenly uncomfortable, you shifted a bit. “What do you mean why him?”

After what seemed like eternity, Tsuki met your gaze, and there was an emotion in his eyes that you couldn’t explain. But it was intense, and it was directed towards you.

“Why did you have to like him? Why did it have to be Yamaguchi, my- our best friend? Do you know what kind of position you put me in?” He narrowed his eyes at you as his feelings spilled out.

You sat there, dumbstruck. “What… I don’t understand. I thought you were happy for us-”

“I lied.” He spat. “I’m a liar, you see. I’ve been lying to you, Yamaguchi, to myself. I pretend like this doesn’t bother me, that everything is the same and that I’m happy for you guys. But I’m not.”

You straighten your posture, overwhelmed with his words. “Tsuki…”

He shook his head. “I’m not happy. How could I be? Do you know how heartbreaking it was to hear your feelings for him? Do you know what it’s like to watch the person you love become someone else’s?” A harsh chuckle from him made you flinch. “I bet you don’t. How could you? The person you like likes you back.”

Tears pricked at your eyes, and you felt ashamed. None of this was your fault, and Tsukishima understood that. But even with knowing that he couldn’t stop the words that flew out his mouth. He had been hurting for a while, it was only fair someone else hurt too… right?

“Why did you have to like him? Better yet, why did I have to like you?”

Your silence had made him curious, and he got a look at you, seeing you crying all on your own, all because of him. His stomach sank, and he tore his eyes away from you. You were hurt, and it was his fault.

Tsukishima closed his eyes as he began to think. No wonder you didn’t like him. How could you with the way he treated you, with the way he made you feel? He couldn’t give you what Yamaguchi could give you. Why would you settle for him when you deserved so much better? It was his fault, not yours, not Yamaguchi’s.

He screwed up.

Your sniffles and hiccups were the only noises for a moment. Not once did you reach out for Tsukishima, and not once did he bother to comfort you. He didn’t even think he would be able to.

After some time, he swallowed, adjusting his glasses, and began to pack up his stuff. Once he was done, he stood up, carrying his bag. Before he could walk out, your hand shot out to grab his wrist, holding him back.

“Why are you just leaving?” You breathed. “What… what do you want me to do? I’m sorry, Kei. Really.”

He hated the pain in your voice. But mostly he hated how he was the cause of it.

Roughly, he pulled his arm from you, not even bothering to turn to you as he spoke. “You can’t do anything. The best thing you can do is leave me alone. Forever.” Quickly, he rushed out of your house and to his own, worried if he stayed a second longer he would regret everything and just hurt everyone more.

Tsukishima had lost the girl, but he never really had her in the first place.

#tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x you #tsukishima kei one shot #tsukishima x y/n #haikyu #haikyu x reader #haikyu x you #haikyu one shot

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maehara-san · 4 years

Text

don’t swear | denki kaminari x reader |

Pairing: Denki Kaminari x F!Reader

Summary: Everyone lies. In the end there’s very little true people who you can confide in. The only mistake was thinking they were by your side.

Warning(s): angst, cheating, cursing, yelling

Word count: 1,932

There was a light knock on the door. The thunder outside barely made it audible for you to hear it, if it weren’t for the doorbell ringing loudly you would have ignored it. Sighing you got up and placed the glass whiskey down on the coffee table. The loud ringing was irritating you by the minute.

“HEY!” you yelled, “Quit with the fucking doorbell!”

Upon opening the door your expression changed seeing a familiar face that brought you both familiarity and disgust. “What the hell...are you even doing here?”

There was a worry in their eyes, they looked at you up and down trying to grasp your body language. You didn’t give them enough time to answer your question. Leaving the door opened you walked to the kitchen to grab another glass to refill.

“I’m worried about you,” she stated and closed the door behind her to approach you. A hysterical laugh echoed throughout the empty apartment. “Everyone has been looking for you. I asked Bakugo but he refused to tell me anything. We tried calling several times but you never picked up-”

“Don’t pretend to care when you were a spy hiding all the shit that he was doing!” you exclaimed making her jump back. “EVERYONE...knew.” Turning your body to face her you pointed your finger as you walked towards her. Anger was visibly shown in your eyes, “YOU knew from the very beginning what he was doing but chose to keep it away from me and act like such a fucking bitch! You are a two-timing mother fucker. Each and every one of you kept adding on to him cheating on me without giving a crap! You even said I should divorce him so he could stay with her....well guess what you can take all your stupid excuses along with them and go fuck yourself!” you yelled, the veins on your hand popped up from how hard you squeezed your finger.

“I couldn’t tell you....I-I thought h-he...would figure it out. He promised he would...” she explained. You ran your fingers through your hair, “You know what sucked the most? Is the fact that Bakugo had the decency to be there when he was the one I barely confided in....when it should have been you.”

Mina fought back the tears, she knew what she did was wrong. From the very beginning, she should have told you but opted on telling Kaminari rather than letting you know what was really going on. "I-I’m so...s-sorry...”

“You’re sorry?” you questioned, “You don’t get to be sorry for the bullshit you pulled! You were an addition to this and you didn’t care who was hurt. “

“That’s not true!” she cried “I tried to help you too!”

“Get.Out.”

“You know it’s true, don’t push me out like this-” she tried defending herself only to make you explode.

“GET OUT!” you screamed. Mina quickly grabbed her umbrella and left without saying another word.

Every past moment started appearing right in front of you. From the first time, you found out to the last 14 hours where everything was discovered. The glass of whiskey was left forgotten on the small table, your head kept spinning with why’s and how’s. Wondering what you ever did was wrong enough for him to throw everything away for an adventure.

‘Adventure’ you thought, laughing without emotion only heartache.

You clapped upon seeing the two standing on stage. They stood there smiling holding the award, almost taunting you for being happy while you lived in misery. Kaminari looked at every camera in the room, his secret lover followed his gaze on to you. She smirked upon seeing your expression. Once the noises died down the president then spoke into the microphone.

“Here she is the reason for your success, (y/n) (l/n)!” he spoke grabbing the crowd's attention. Smiling brightly you walked up on the stage and went toward your husband with arms open. Kaminari looked at you forgetting about his lover and hugged you tightly. Your fake smile didn’t seem like such a drag anymore. You then stood in between them both while his arm lazily rested around your hips.

The president handed the mic over to you, “How about a few words.” he said making you chuckle lightly at how many things you had to say about them. “Thank you.” you began “Um...well there’s a lot to say.” your body moved forward breaking away from Kaminari’s grasp.” He was very indecisive, still is to this day.” the guests chuckled, he laughed awkwardly feeling embarrassed.

His lover moved closer to him, their hands lightly collided against each other. There was no use in pretending that it wasn’t true, you didn't have to turn around to see that it was happening. He held her hand so delicately with grace as if he’s afraid of breaking her it.

Your eyes were becoming glossy. It broke you apart in a lot of ways. The thought of knowing how many places and ways he’s shown her affection were the same ones he had one with you.

“Kaminari worked on two projects, the old one and the winning one. He was indecisive, there was no way of getting him away from his past one. Even if there was a clear future for the new one he still kept on working on it. It’s like he was in battle to see which one would bring him a better opportunity. I told him he should go with the one he felt more in touch with.” you added “He decided to move on but kept coming back to the first one. His heart was most definitely involved.”

Every word pained you. To all those strangers they thought you were talking about simple theories and work. But those who knew, she knew, that it went much deeper. You turned around to look at him straight in the eyes.

“However he chose to go forward and not care about the consequences it would bring him,” you spoke. He only looked you, too occupied with the thought of holding her instead of seeing what he had truly done to his family.

“Some say he was out of his mind while his colleagues believed in him and edged him on.” you blinked rapidly trying to dry them out. “But I’m proud because he showed the type of man he really is.”

Your speech had ended, people clapped. Mina stared at you with an unreadable expression, while Kirishima showed no expression. They weren’t blind about the meaning. Bakugo knew this was going to explode, there was no way this would end just here.

“You are indeed correct.” his lover expressed, “But I can see he’s much happier. After all the hard work he’s done, he deserves to be proud and not embarrassed.”

Your blood began to boil, Kaminari didn’t hide his smile. It was the final spark you needed to make you burst out. “At least he got rid of that old project and pursued something that would better benefit him. It’s his future after all.”

The director looked at her almost telling her to behave. You grabbed the mic from her grasp smiling bigger thanking the gods she pushed you further. “Well, yes you are right,” you spoke. “It does benefit him in ways that people don’t quite really know, now that you mention it why don’t I tell them?”

“You might want to write these down so you don’t forget.” you stated, “Number one, the fact that you’ve been seeing my ex-husband,” you emphasized, “Every single day for almost two years even though he was married!”

Bakugo stood up immediately from his seat getting ready to approach the stage. The reporters were in shock, bursting out questions from left to right. “Hold on, it gets even better!” you exclaimed not caring how they viewed you or even if you lost your job.

“Kaminari even got her pregnant. She confided in Mina asking her to help her abort the baby.” The director’s face turned red he had known his daughter was seeing someone but never thought about it being him.

“What the hell is all of this Sara?!” he yelled, “He’s twice your fucking age!”

Sara broke away from Kaminari “I don’t care!” she retorted “I’m in love with him!” Her father then slapped her making the room go quiet.

“I taught you to be respectful. I didn’t teach you to go around sleeping with any married man! What the fuck got into your head?!” Sara stared at him holding her cheek.

“You shouldn’t use violence to make a point. You have no right to slap her-”

Without a second thought, you swung your arm as hard as you could and punched him in the face not caring where you aimed. It was enough for you. Everything had been eating at you for so long, you thought he’d feel ashamed but only cared about her. It was all about her.

Your ex-husband stared up at you in shock. “YOU.” you loudly said “Have no fucking business in saying shit! You didn’t think people would find out about your mistake?! You have the audacity to still defend her instead of apologizing for all the bullshit you did to us?!”

Tears escaped from your eyes, at this point Mina, Kirishima, Bakugo, and a few other people you both knew came over. Mina pulled at you to stop you from doing anything else.

“FUCK YOU!” you screamed at the top of your lungs. “EVERYONE HERE KNEW! You had to tell people about what you were doing and they didn't give a damn about telling me! You’re all hypocrites!”

“Would you stop being a fucking drama queen?!” Kaminari yelled holding his bloody lip. “You already knew I was cheating on you! Stop acting like you didn’t know crap about it until now!”

“I think it’s best if we go (y/n)-” Bakugo spoke.

You pulled yourself away from Mina and pushed her off to the side. “I can tolerate the fact you got her pregnant and cheated on me...” you added standing in front of him not blinking as you spoke.

“But I will never....you hear me...NEVER...forgive you for hooking up with her the day our son died!” you exclaimed, “You knew how much he loved his father, that you threw it away and instead hooked up with someone else during his funeral service! You dishonored his memory...you’re dead to me.”

“I was hurting-”

You laughed hearing his sorry excuse for what he did “You were hurting? Well guess what asshole! I WAS HURTING TOO! But I didn’t go around sleeping with someone on that same damn day!” you tried calming yourself down not caring about the flashing lights and the yelling in the background. You were tired of this nightmare you wanted to end it by all means.

“Listen to me.” you stated “I will do everything...in my power...” you ran your fingers through your hair staring dead in the eyes of them both. “To make sure you pay for all of this, I don’t give a damn about how much it ends you. You hear me, I will make you regret it.”

Bakugo pulled at my wrist lightly and your body gave away, following him while Kaminari and Sara yelled at you. You blocked out their voices not turning back around anymore.

You got in his car and let every emotion out. He didn’t speak only rubbed your back, being there silently was what you needed most. Finally, it was all in the open. Your eyes began to give out, you relaxed at his touch and floated away from this disaster.

“I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha fanfiction #BNHA au #denki kaminari x reader #bnha kaminari #mha fanfiction #mha au #bnha masterlist #mha masterlist #fanfiction x reader #bnha fanfic recs #bnha blog #send in anons #send in questions #send me asks

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the-autisticats · 4 years

Text

What it’s like to have misophonia

Hi everyone, it’s Abby, Eden’s girlfriend! I also go to UVM, I use she/they pronouns, and I have undiagnosed ADHD (and probably autism as well). I also have a condition called misophonia, which is likely familiar to many of you.

For those of you that don’t know, misophonia is defined as a disorder where certain sounds (trigger noises) spark severe emotional and/or physiological responses. The name specifically means “hatred of sound.” Some common triggers are chewing, tapping, sniffing, etc. Like many disorders, it exists on a spectrum.

It’s separate from Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), but they often manifest together, as in my case–enough that many people suspect a linkage between misophonia and neurodivergence. It’s probably magnified by SPD as well.

Misophonia can also develop at any age, unlike SPD, which is present from birth. I developed symptoms around age 11, and my strongest trigger noises are chewing/smacking sounds. Those are accompanied by a range of “associated sounds” like crinkling wrappers that aren’t standalone triggers, but tell me that I’m probably about to become very uncomfortable.

The physiological response induced by misophonia is overwhelmingly negative. I always get very flustered and my body produces a severe anxiety response. It’s definitely enough to be disabling. In the past, if the sound was strong, I would scream or hit someone. I used to have detailed, violent intrusive thoughts about killing people, just to end the misery I was in. And there is always a lot of crying involved. It’s gotten better over time, and I’ve been much happier since I started using earplugs more. But I still get very anxious when someone eats in class, for example, and it makes me absolutely unable to focus. I’ll usually start crying then too, and feeling very itchy and hot.

One of the worst instances happened a few years after the condition developed. My family and I were at a baseball game. The game had just finished, and we were sitting in the car waiting in parking lot traffic. I was totally fine, I was very pleased with the game and straight vibing. Unfortunately, my sister and I got into a sibling spat, I probably said something I shouldn’t have, and she retaliated by smacking her lips at me. I went completely off the rails at that. I screamed and hit her in the face and absolutely broke down in tears. My parents were taken so off-guard by this shift in moods, and my dad said something invalidating that I forget because I was so overwhelmed at that point.

I sat there crying for half an hour, basically knowing that there was no way I could explain this to them in a way that they’d understand. How can you describe the emotional distress a tiny little sound causes, especially to someone who has no experience with that? In addition, my own sister had just weaponized my disability against me and seemed to show no remorse. That’s what I’d call a Whole Mess.

Realizing this, I was ashamed for years. I refused to wear my earplugs because I thought there was something wrong with me, and I didn’t want anyone else to know. In eighth grade, however, I met another person with misophonia who was very vocal about awareness. That helped me accept myself and take my needs more seriously. Although I was still shy about it, I felt much less alone, and I always got very internally excited when they mentioned it.

My parents have also been increasingly supportive over the years. When it first developed, both my mom and dad were absolutely baffled about why in the world I was crying and yelling at dinner. Over time, they’ve encountered articles, and we worked together to find solutions for me. They’ve bought me a LOT of earplugs (which I leave all over the house lol), and adjusted eating schedules with me. My mom always asks if I have earplugs before eating something in the car. My dad is generally less receptive to my mental and emotional differences, but this past summer, he asked me about the specifics of my trigger noises and my response. It made me really happy to answer his questions, especially since I know it’s not something he intuitively understands.

Managing misophonia is definitely a joint effort–yes, it’s my responsibility to carry my earplugs with me, and to try and not like, smack people, but I would be much less able to function if I didn’t have the support of my family and friends. My high school friend, along with a number of articles and regular old emotional growth, have allowed me to come to terms with my needs and ask for accommodations when I need them. For now, it’s just with good friends, but I hope that as it gets talked about more, me and many other people allow themselves the care and love they deserve.

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anika-ann · 3 years

Text

The 5 Times Steve Felt Betrayed - Pt.3

and the 1 Time He Felt Like He Was Betraying You

Type: mini-series to a series (part 1 & part 2 & Part 3), Avenger!reader AU.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader, Matt Murdock & reader

Word count: 2750

Summary: The airport battle comes to pass. Steve is not impressed. However, his major facepalm is coming in 3, 2, 1...

Warnings: violence, language, angst, physical pain, mention of human experimentation

A/N: This part of Melting Hearts’ verse follows the events of CA: Civil War, sometimes only referencing them and kinda expecting the readers to know what’s up ;)

Posted in double chapters (1st &2nd time, 3th & 4th, 5th+1)

Previous part

────── ·❆· ──────

5. (Turning Tables)

When Tony showed up at the airport, just according to their plan… you were side by side with him.

Steve felt sorry for not burning the letter when he had changed into the uniform. He had promised himself that he would definitely read it when having the time, so he had secured it into a zip-zap bag and hid in the pocket of his pants instead. Now he knew that every word you must have written into the letter was poison and his right leg felt a ton heavier than his left one.

Steve knew that for the most part, it was the feeling of betrayal talking – but he was revisiting every single interaction with you, all of your words replaying in his head, and wondered, where he had gone wrong. What he had missed. How could he not see you as you truly were? A traitor. A liar. A coward, because while you were standing right next to Natasha, you weren’t even able to meet Steve’s eyes – unlike the spy.

He desperately wanted to meet your eyes. To look deeply into your soul and see if you were ashamed at least. For leading him on for so long.

The truth was, you were; ashamed, horrified and a little bit proud. But Steve didn’t seem to know that – which meant he either was as good as you were, or he hadn’t even touched the letter, which was pretty understandable actually.

“You’re gonna turn and come with us. Because it’s us! Don’t you see what you had done?! You tore the team apart – you even drove the woman who had ridiculous amount of trust in you, who loved you for god’s sake, away from you!” Tony yelled at him, apparently losing his nerves.

It made Steve’s blood boil.

“You don’t talk about my relationship with her like this! You have no business in that!”

“Yeah, and what about her? Does she have any business in that? She apparently has more reason than you do! Try to use your brain for a goddamn second, Rogers!”

“Tony…” Natasha whispered warningly.

It was the exact moment Sam’s voice sounded in Steve’s ear, informing him about the quinjet in hangar five; their plan of escape.

Despite the bitterness of this reunion, he couldn’t help but feel a bit of hope and satisfaction. He raised his tied hands above his head and a second later, Clint’s precisely aimed arrow freed him of the strange organic cuffs that dangerously reminded him of an actual cobweb.

It was time to punch their way out of this one, only to do a lot more punching later if they succeeded.

────── ·❆· ──────

Steve was really busy trying to keep T’Challa from Bucky, too much to keep an eye on you. But when he had a second, he sought you on the battlefield subconsciously, checking if you were alright. He didn’t even have the energy to feel like a hypocrite with his own action, with the annoying habit.

He only found you staying out of the fight, keeping a careful eye on each of the individual combats – but never interfering.

His stomach rolled over, his vision blurring for a moment as his head spun. You were standing aside, watching your friends and him getting beat up. Like a coward.

What else were you? A back-up for if Tony and his friends would be losing? The ace in their sleeves?

Steve felt the bile rising up his throat at the thought. How had that happened? When?

It was only when Vision appeared that you looked up, all of your attention focused on the android who had entered the fight and literally drew a line between the two teams.

You joined the line created by Tony, Rhodey, Natasha, Vision, T’Challa and Spider-kid, standing against Steve’s team. Seven versus six – Steve was outnumbered.

And that was on you.

For the first time since you had encountered him at the airport, you met his eyes for a split second. Steve was shocked when he found the windows to your soul, usually so sincerely open, perfectly locked, your expression unreadable. He couldn’t bear it and looked away as he eyed his team and started jogging towards his former teammates and friends. And fiancée.

The opposite side broke into a run too.

And then you abruptly stopped, your hand hitting the ground hard, creating a thick layer of ice under your supposed teammates’ feet, knocking three of them off balance. And the remaining three who had managed to get in the air – Vision, Rhodey and Tony – were soon busy avoiding icicles shot from your hands.

Steve froze and it had nothing to do with your powers.

Wanda seemed unfazed by your action, throwing herself into a fight; the ice seemed to be conveniently melting under her feet as if she was the one controlling it. Which was impossible. It must have been all you. Which… what?

“Alright, does that mean Miss Iceberg over there is on our side now?” Scott yelled after everyone and it snapped Steve from his trance.

Well, it looked like it now. Steve didn’t spend much time pondering about it and rather went after Tony, who was getting dangerously close to him.

“She always has been!” Wanda cried out in response, sending Vision crashing into a plane.

“SHE WHAT?!” Steve shouted over the roar of the fight, punching Tony’s metal-covered face. The mechanical voice had asked the same question and seemed stunned – it bought Steve enough time to shoot you a look.

Oh, you were definitely fighting on their side with the way you trapped Spiderman’s hands in an impressive column of ice growing from the ground. It reminded Steve of their own arrest and confused the hell out of him.

Wanda threw away T’Challa who had come down on Bucky with a battle cry. “The letter! I was trying to tell you!”

It felt like a punch to Steve’s gut and only a second later, an actual punch followed.

Really? Was that what was written there? That you were on their side? What, the whole time? But that was impossible! You had sabotaged their escape, you had held back at every other occasion, you hadn’t come with Wanda! You had signed!

…but had you? Had you really signed, or had you just been stalling? Didn’t the fact you hadn’t arrived with Wanda give you the advantage of knowing Tony’s plan, learning any possible aces in his sleeves? Had there been a reason why you had helped the agency to get Steve and Bucky too? What kind of game had you been playing?

Steve quickly shook off the confusing thoughts. You would have to be playing Tony and everyone from the beginning. Or maybe you had changed your mind during the process?

An iron fist hitting his jaw brought him back to reality very quickly and he decided the reasons you had weren’t important – not now.

But before he could block another punch, Iron Man was gushed away by what looked like a cubic meter iceberg. Steve only gasped, his head snapping to the source. You gave him a quick smile and nodded.

“You need to go. I’ll help with holding them off.”

“But-“

“Go, Steve!” you cried out, your voice urgent, your sincere eyes glaring into his.

He saw it now. He saw you. His heart skipped a beat with the realization; you truly were fighting for them. For him. But how?

“You owe me an explain-“

“That can wait! Just go!”

“Then come with me!” he blurted out hastily, which only made you shook your head.

“Here, I can buy you some time! Go!”

“Goddammit, Snowflake, I’m not leaving you! They— I don’t know what they’ll do to you!”

“Duh, what else is new. Just move your ass, Captain!” you yelled and tiny icicles came at him from his left. He shook them off, only to realize they were fragments of the cobweb, frozen and useless thanks to your quick reaction – you had just prevented a whole new set of sticky trouble coming at him.

It made him sick all over again, because he just didn’t know what was happening, what had been happening. He shot a you a desperate glance.

“GET OUT OF HERE!”

He set his jaw tight, his feet as if frozen and itching to run at the same time. Before he could make up his goddamn mind, a wall of ice appeared, shielding him from you and his assailant.

You had decided for him. And as much as he hated it, as much as he felt like a complete ass, he had to admit you were right. He had to go.

And so he did.

The quinjet was already in the air when you fell to the ground with an agonized scream as the sharpest pain you had ever felt attacked the base of your spine and paralyzed you for several moments. You blacked out only seconds after you found a way to move your fingers; the last thing you saw was Natasha’s worried and pissed off face.

────── ·❆· ──────

+1 (The Reversal)

The hum of the quinjet was so low no ordinary man would hear it; but now, it was two supersoldiers in it, Steve piloting, Bucky sitting beside him, and at least one of them found the white noise comforting. It muffled Steve’s loud thoughts a little. But sound could never prevent his emotions from coming at him and since he didn’t have to fight at the moment, he was failing at pushing them away.

"What’s gonna happen to your friends?" Bucky’s low tenor cut the silence like a knife, directing Steve’s thoughts exactly the where he didn’t want them to go.

His eyes absently traced the sky, his mind getting all too loud. For a moment, he didn’t even know what to say. He didn’t know the answer and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. And it wasn’t just his friends he was worried about. Even your fate was in the hands of people who didn’t really care; those who might still care must have been furious with you and their hands were tied by the stupid document that had divided the team in half anyway.

Steve had no idea what the future held; the only certainty he had was that whatever would happen, it wouldn’t be pretty.

"Whatever it is, I'll deal with it," he replied instead, trying so damn hard to keep his voice even.

"I don't know if I'm worth all this, Steve.”

As if something truly broke in Steve, he cracked a sorrowful smile. Worth. Worth fighting for. Worth saving. Worth a chance at redemption. Steve couldn’t help but wonder if it was just him being a magnet for people with self-worth issues of if it came with the job description.

"What you did all those years… it wasn't you. You didn’t have a choice."

"I know. But I still did it."

The sentence was hanging in the air for a long time, too truthful to be disproved. Steve knew all too well he couldn’t change the past – but what he could always do was to fight for a better tomorrow.

"Even so, you still deserve a chance to redeem yourself."

"At what cost?” Bucky asked, his voice heavy with regrets. The knot in Steve’s stomach tightened. “This gal of yours-"

"Bucky, don't-" Steve pleaded silently, tears pricking in his eyes at the mention of you.

"-she seems... nice. I honestly have no idea whose side she was on, but she saved our asses there, kicking everyone else's.”

"I... I don't know either,” Steve admitted honestly, sighing.

What he did know for sure was that leaving you there was wrong. It felt like betraying the trust you had put into him; no matter the fact you had been the one who had told him to get out of there.

“She's good. Pretty. Badass fighter. I sense a pattern," Bucky brought up with a hint of a joke. The corners of Steve’s lips barely twitched.

"It wasn't like that when we first met."

"What do you mean?"

"Her... being like this."

Steve didn’t know what had possessed him to give in – perhaps it was the kind of talk he missed, mixed with Bucky keeping him company. With Bucky, who cared for him, who was curious about what he had missed from Steve’s life.

"What was it like then?"

"She was… alone. Scared of what her powers did. She gave me a frostbite the first time we met – without intending to. She was wallowing in guilt, because she hurt people, not knowing how it happened. Terrified she would hurt more. How's that for a pattern?"

Steve was confident Bucky had noticed the obvious nudge at their resemblance, but he didn’t take the bait. His friend lived to surprise; he snorted silently.

"You have the weirdest taste."

It brought an honest smile to Steve’s face, a warm feeling he wouldn’t expect filling his chest. Bucky continued though.

"You called her something, when we were fighting. It was cute. It was... what was it?"

Steve cleared his throat awkwardly. Bucky was cool and all, but the he would never let Steve live down the nickname he had given you.

"The whole team— what used to be a team, they all have a nickname for her.... Thor, you haven't met him, he calls her Lady of Ice."

"Oh wow."

"The public... they call her Frostbite. She doesn't like it much. Stark-“ and the name tasted way too bitter on Steve’s tongue, “-calls her Elsa – it's from some new fairy tale."

"Cute. Speaking of fairy tales, anyone calls her Snow Queen?"

"No. But... uhm… a friend calls her Gerda."

"A friend, huh?" Bucky emphasized knowingly, making Steve actually blush a little. There was no way Steve could ever supress the feeling of jealousy towards the man in the Devil costume or the lawyer he was disguising as in the daylight.

"They went on a date. Right before... before we got together."

And for some reason, she had sought him out after the mission in Nigeria.

"No way,” Bucky laughed excitedly, his mood shooting up towards the stars. Steve couldn’t hold back his own smile at the happy sound. “Did you have to like... fight him to win her favour or something?"

"No. She... she picked me, without a fight."

"Ah, I can feel your ego boosting."

"Yeah, well. She… she chose me and...”

Steve thought of what Bucky said before and what he said to him – about a pattern. He thought about him almost dying when he had been injected with the anti-serum and you had almost dying, pushing yourself to your very limit to save him. About you saying no to Matt. About you pulling Steve behind you when he had laid down his shield, which had left him somewhat unprotected. About you deciding to stay with the Avengers instead of disappearing off the grid with your parents. About you running away in attempt to keep the danger from him. And now about risking everything – including his trust – when turning against Tony while standing by his side.

You had always chosen him. And this was how he was repaying you. With leaving you behind.

“And I guess she always has,” Steve stated softly, his expression missing the flicker of happiness he felt just a minute ago; the dark thoughts swallowed it all. “Worked for her well."

"What happened to dealing with what's to come?"

Steve sighed, gripping the stalk tighter. There was a lot to come and he had in fact no clue how to deal with it.

"I'm glad you have someone like her, Steve," Bucky announced, patting Steve’s shoulder brotherly.

If I still have her, Steve thought bitterly. Even if he was about to get you out of the lurch he had left you in… there was no guarantee you would forgive him his ignorance.

He didn’t say any of that out loud though.

"Yeah. Yeah, me too. It's just..." he said instead, his voice trailing off rather than finishing the sentence.

"You will deal with what's to come. You're too stubborn to give up, punk."

That he was.

"I'm not giving up on you either, Buck."

"Thanks, Steve… but that was cheesy as hell."

Steve couldn’t but chuckle. It was good to have his friend back. He just wished the circumstances were way different. If nothing else, he wished the attempt to save Bucky and take care of the potential Winter Soldiered men didn’t come with the price of leaving you behind. Leaving you with the mess he had caused and betraying you – just like he had thought you had been doing for the past few weeks.

The universe had a very twisted sense of humour. But it was something Steve would have to deal with later.

────── ·❆· ──────

Bonus chapter

────── ·❆· ──────

That would be it – six chapters are kinda the point of 5+1 stuff.

BUT there’s a bonus coming, for much needed closure. Pretty much a cheesy one too, set after the rescue one-man mission from at The Raft. Because me and my brain apparently don’t understand the concept of a 5+1 work. Also, it offers a bit of Reader’s insight, so… hopefully it’s not such a capital crime.

Worse things have happened, right? You can always just cut it here ;) (please don’t, I mean, if you have made it this far… :D )

Also, Snowflake’s hurt at the airport was caused by the fail-safe she was installed with in Hands Too Cold, in case you forgot :-*

#fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #avenger reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x you #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #captain america x you #ca:cw #steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfiction #5 times steve felt betrayed #melting hearts #anika ann

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