#touch-starved

[the-modern-typewriter]

im so obsessed with the touchstarved hero thing that you did ive read it more than 20 times, a very normal amount yes, would you ever think of writing another touchstarved prompt or even a touchstarved villain one? thank you so much for your work

"I don't mind."

"Hm?" The protagonist looked up, brow furrowing.

"I don't mind when you touch me," the villain said. "That is - it's not horrific."

"Well, I'm glad I wasn't horrific. Life goals."

The villain shot them a look.

The protagonist smiled despite themselves. It was too easy to feel lulled, brain at ease for the first time in far too long, buzzing with all the good endorphins. Intimacy. Closeness. It was impossible to dwell on the danger, for as surely as there was attraction, there was danger.

They leaned in, slowly enough to clearly telegraph their intentions, and pressed a kiss to the villain's chest. Half teasing. Half something infinitely more dangerous, like genuine affection for the terrible idea sprawled beneath them.

The villain held their gaze. They almost even smiled back. They tangled their fingers into the protagonist's hair instead, but didn't tug them away. They let the protagonist settle even closer than before, head against their beating chest.

The protagonist was starting to understand that meant something too.

"It's merely that people don't do it very often," the villain said, voice clipped, carefully controlled. "Touch me, I mean. Or when they do, it's with the sort of casual presumption that makes me want to rip their hands off. You do not presume."

"Well, you did look ready to rip my hands off once or twice." They knew what the villain meant though. When the protagonist had touched suddenly, unexpectedly, it had been less about trying to control the villain and more just needing something to hold onto as the villain kissed them stupid. Instinct. Desire. Need. The villain had known that, hadn't they? "But you're welcome. I mean, any time."

The villain nodded. Once. Curt - uncomfortable, perhaps, with such an open and vulnerable emotion. They cleared their throat.

The protagonist felt another stupid swell of warmth. They could hear the villain's heartbeat slowing beneath their ear, trusting, and it felt like yet another giddy thrill for the day. A complicated and tentative privilege.

They lay together, in their stolen moment of illicit peace.

"Besides," the villain broke the silence after a while. "Next time, I can always ziptie your hands to the bed posts."

"Next time?" The protagonist's heart skipped.

The villain shrugged. "You like touching. You'd look adorable begging for it. I think I'd like to see that."

The protagonist was sure they'd gone all wide-eyed again, flushed and flustered, because that time the villain definitely smiled. They hesitated, then tugged the protagonist's hair.

"Come back here so I can kiss you again," the villain said.

The protagonist obliged, even as their brain whirled through all the villain had said.

How long had it been since someone touched the villain like this? Since the villain let themselves be touched? It was clearly something they craved, enjoyed, just as clearly as it was something more complicated than that too.

They stopped thinking as the kiss deepened. They drew themselves a little closer still, ever-mindful of where they put their hands, and only more conscious now because of that of the way the villain's body responded beneath them. The shiver of breath. The thud of their heart. The way the villain pressed in, only to pull back again, like a starved creature that could only sustain itself in small increments before it became too much.

It was intoxicating. It felt just a little like power. A good, perfect, brilliant sort of power.

As they broke apart, the villain studied them for another long moment, expression unreadable, but eyes almost soft.

"Come on," the villain murmured. "Play time's over. Let's go."

#to me this is Johnny and Finch #for anyone who knows those characters #hero x villain #villains and heroes #protagonist and antagonist #heroes and villains #villain x hero #writing #story #touch-starved #i like the thought of a more complicated touch-starvation where the villain is very much touch-starved #but also very much eager to be in control of how they are touched

[oikawakechi]

aka me for the last few weeks 💔

#aki hayakawa #chainsaw man #csm #angel devil #akiangel #angst #pining #touch-starved #ao3 #manga #anime

[octopus-reactivated]

Rescued Whumpee whose approach to Caretaker changes daily.

Once they're distrustful, hiding behind furniture and inspect given food/water for a long, long time trying to determine if it's safe.

Then they're almost aggressive, snatching the food away and devouring it before anyone takes it away.

Another day they refuse to touch the food, because 'they don't deserve it' and 'they know their place'

One day they're the most-touch starved creature ever, begging for hugs and head pats, the next day they'd hiss if you even looked into their direction.

One day they address Caretaker by "Master" and "Sir", other days they are comfortable with using Caretaker's name, and on yet another day they don't speak at all.

Whumpees who had so many different traumas that they don't know which survival tactic to use anymore.

@jordanstrophe thanks for help editing!

#whump #whump prompt #scared whumpp #defiant whumpee #aggressive whumpee #touch-starved

[questionablealibi]

Is Stanley currently available for soft cheek squishes? 👀

Oh my goodness you guys love him a lot dont you /lh

He appreciates the attention and love! Just give him a bit to process it ^^;

#Hes a little uh #Touch-starved #He gets teary eyed even with the lightest form of physical attention #Hes a sucker for physical aftection #Please be gentle ^^ #Alibi! #Ask asks!!! #the stanley parable #tsp #tspud #tsp stanley #tspud stanley

[yowyowyaoi]

*Itachi passing by the living room*

Deidara: Oi, Uchiha … help me!

Itachi: Deidara? Sasori-san? What’s going on?

*Sasori and Deidara are sitting on the couch; Sasori isn’t moving but his arms are wrapped tightly around Deidara, rendering him unable to move*

Sasori, without turning his head: Nothing to see here; move along.

Deidara: Danna!! *to Itachi* I was teasing him and said he’s so weird he’s probably never hugged anyone before. Now he won’t let go!

Sasori: Be grateful, brat. You should be honored that I’m choosing to grace you with my arms this way.

Deidara: But you’re squeezing so hard I can barely breathe, hm! I’m human, I need to use my lungs! Shit, Uchiha, do something!

Itachi: Sasori-san, perhaps Deidara could use a break from your … affections. If your urge to hug is that great, I have several large stuffed animals in my room that I’d be more than happy to lend y —

Sasori: *abruptly lets go of Deidara, jumps up, tackles Itachi down to the couch, and wraps his arms around him*

Sasori: That won’t be necessary, brat. You’ll do just fine.

Deidara: Whew; thank God, hm. *stretches then stands* Thanks, Itachi. I’ll come back and relieve you in a few hours. Or days. A week at the very latest. *leaves*

Itachi:

@sasodeiweek

#SasoDeiWeek2024 #Touch-Starved #sasodei #sasori x deidara #sasori #deidara #itachi uchiha #naruto #the akatsuki #❤️💛 #🦂💥

[ladykissingfish]

*Sasori sitting behind Deidara, vigorously rubbing his wet hair with a towel*

Sasori: You know, I must say that I’m disappointed in myself. Here I’d thought that I’d finally figured out how to read you, and then you subvert my expectations and do something like this.

Deidara, scowling: Stop making such a big deal about it, hm.

Sasori: I’m not “making a big deal”, Deidara. I’m expressing a legitimate concern. Surely, at your age, you’re aware that going outside with wet hair in negative degree weather conditions is extremely ill-advised?

Deidara: The hell does my age have to do with anything??

Sasori: Aren’t you always harping on me about how you’re an adult, and you don’t need me “nagging” you not to do stupid things? 

Deidara: I was only gonna be out for like, twenty minutes, tops!

Sasori: Mm. Just enough time for you to catch pneumonia, or, at the very least, a nasty, debilitating cold.

Deidara, quietly: It must be hard for you, being with someone who’s such a burden, hm. I’m sorry I trouble you so much. I —

Sasori: Will you stop that? Can’t you see I’m genuinely trying to understand the reasons behind your actions?

Deidara: You want to know why? Really? Fine; I was gonna go outside in the winter with wet fucking hair because I knew that if I tried, you’d dry it for me. And … and sometimes … a lot of the time, I want you to touch me. But I can’t think of how to ask you to just touch me without sounding needy.

Sasori:

Sasori: … W-well. Well. It’s a very rare thing, for me to not know what to say. But. You wish for me — to touch you?

Deidara, blushing: See, I knew it would sound bad …

Sasori: It doesn’t sound bad. I’m simply trying to understand?

Deidara, very soft and quiet: When I was a kid, all my parents ever did was hit. When I grew up, all I ever knew was war, and fighting. I’ve never had something like a hug, I’ve never had any kind of touch that didn’t hurt. And … with you, I want that. A touch that doesn’t hurt. Even if you’re just sitting close to me and rubbing my hair with a towel.

Sasori: 

Sasori: *puts down the towel, timidly leans forward and puts both arms around Deidara’s shoulders*

Deidara: *gasps and feels a slight moment of panic at the unfamiliar gesture, before eventually relaxing and leaning back into Sasori’s embrace*

Sasori, softly: You’re so warm …

Deidara, smiling: This feels so nice … I could stay like this forever, hm …

*some time later*

Deidara: D-Danna? Um, I know I said I could do this forever, but … can we take breaks in-between? We’ve been here for six hours and I can’t feel my limbs anymore …

Sasori: *tightens his arms and kisses Deidara’s cheek* Just five more minutes.

@sasodeiweek

#SasoDeiWeek2024 #Touch-Starved #❤️💛 #surprise surprise: Sasori couldn’t let go because HE’S horribly touch-starved too 😭 #sasodei #sasori x deidara #sasori #deidara

[wangxianficrecs]

A Touch To Calm This Aching Heart by Multifacetedinterests

A Touch To Calm This Aching Heart

by Multifacetedinterests

E, 12k, Wangxian

Summary: Wei Wuxian dropped her hand to her side as Madam Yu and the dragons drew closer, refocusing before her mind wandered too far away. She needed to be demure and un-fox-like if she wanted to die a moderately less painful death. They couldn’t know what she was. “I hope this offering can lay the foundations for more amiable relations,” Madam Yu stated. ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ Huli jings needed touch. It didn’t matter if it was sexual or platonic, but it was a biological necessity. Without touch, a huli jing would slowly wither and die. (In which huli jing Wei Wuxian becomes dragon Lan Wangji’s war prize, and biology brings them closer together.)

Kay's comments: Ah, the sweet torture this story was! In which Huli Jing Wei Wuxian is sent to the Lan dragons as a war prize and given to Lan Wangji. Despite growing to like Lan Wangji quickly, there's one big problem: Huli Jings need touch or else they die, but Wei Wuxian also needs to keep her identity as a huliy jing a secret, so she's in trouble. I love the entire premise of it and the flavour of Wei Wuxian needing touch or else she dies and also, lesbian Wangxian, very nice! And there's also this huge misunderstanding that Wei Wuxian has been brought to the Cloud Recesses to be Lan Xichen's plaything, which I really enjoyed, because of how it affected Wangxian's relationship and how Wei Wuxian allowed herself to grow closer to Lan Wangji while her brother was away.

Excerpt: A few hours was preferable to missing days, and Lan Zhan seemed willing to answer her questions. Wei Wuxian tentatively probed further, “When will Zewu-jun return to Cloud Recesses?” “A few weeks,” Lan Zhan said with narrowed eyes. The topic of Zewu-jun was off-limits then, which was fine. She could work with that information for now and ask again in the future. There was one other thing though; Wei Wuxian fiddled with the edges of her robes as she worked up the nerve to ask. “So, I’m staying here? You really don’t mind?” She liked Lan Zhan, and as much as she enjoyed challenging her and getting her to react, she did not want to make her uncomfortable in her own home. “Mn. I want Wei Ying here.” Lan Zhan said with too much certainty. “Do not worry.” What would she think when she invariably discovered she was cohabiting with a huli jing?

pov wei wuxian, canon divergence, female wei wuxian, female lan wangji, fox wei wuxian, huli jing, dragon lan wangji, war prize wei wuxian, shapeshifters, yu ziyuan being an asshole, dead jiang fengmian, emotional manipulation, lies, touch-starved, secret identity, enemies to lovers, miscommunication, misunderstandings, compulsory heterosexuality, dom/sub undertones, collars, bathing/washing, vaginal fingering, orgasm delay/denial, exhibitionism, cunnilingus, mildly dubious consent, sect leader jiang yanli, living together, fighting, @multifacetedinterests

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

#Wangxian Fic Rec #The Untamed #wangxian #MDZS #Kay's Rec #pov wei wuxian #canon divergence #female wei wuxian #female lan wangji #fox wei wuxian #huli jing #dragon lan wangji #war prize wei wuxian #shapeshifters #yu ziyuan being an asshole #dead jiang fengmian #emotional manipulation #lies #touch-starved #secret identity #enemies to lovers #miscommunication #misunderstandings #compulsory heterosexuality #collars #bathing/washing #sect leader jiang yanli #living together #fighting #A Touch To Calm This Aching Heart

[thoughtsonhurtandcomfort]

“If you struggle, I will tie up your hands, if you scream, I will gag you. You have nowhere to go.” For Arinn :3 (only if you're comfortable doing this prompt)

I forget which prompt list this is from :'D but thank you for it!

CW: demon whumpee, starvation, touch-starved, exhaustion, tackled, rough treatment, threats.

The burly, strong whumper hits like a sledgehammer, slamming into a tired, frail Arinn and tackling him to the ground. Something pops and something hurts and his ragged cry is cut short when a hand covers his mouth and digs fingernails into Arinn's cheek deep enough to draw blood.

"Shhhh...if you scream I will gag you. If you struggle I can just tie up your hands. You're skin and bones, it's twenty degrees out, and you have nowhere to go. So I think you're going to want to listen to my offer..."

#demon whump #incubus whump #starvation #touch-starved #exhaustion #tackled #rough treatment #threats #whump writing #my writing #my ocs #arinn #prompt fill

[thinkingjasico]

Summary: Since graduating from high school Jason had been making a lot of unwise decisions: Like agreeing to be Nico's fake boyfriend, then traveling to New Rome and hide from his best friend and fake boyfriend that he was having his top surgery.

Relationship: Nico di Angelo/Jason Grace

Words: 48, 660

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Trans Jason Grace, Solangelo break up, No explicit smut and it's just one scene, Domestic Fluff, Touch-Starved Jason Grace, Forced Proximity, Sharing a Bed, Hidden Injury, Scars, Sharing Clothes, Making Valentines Gift, Holding Hands, Descriptions of scars and recovery from top surgery, Yes I think Drew and Nico should be best friends, Jason is basically a puppy and I love him!, Jasico - Freeform, Both of them have POV's, Trans Author

#jasicobingochallenge2024 #fake dating #trans jason grace #domestic fluff #touch-starved #forced proximity #sharing a bed #hidden injury #scars #sharing clothes #making a valentines gift #holding hands #fanfiction #trigger waning for descriptions of scars and recovery from top surgery #jasico #thunderworld #jason grace #nico di angelo #jasico fic

[surplus-of-sarcasm]

Twenty

Note: To cheer up my friend ❤️❤️ @thelazywitchphotographer, sorry if it seems rushed!

Hero stares forlornly at the seemingly never-ending pile of work on their desk. They'd just come back from a particularly rough mission, and every muscle ached with the pull of a horribly tight knot. They almost sway on their feet to get to the desk, half-falling unceremoniously into their chair.

They don't get the chance to rest though. Even the shower they have is quick and freezing cold, not even able to afford to wait for the water to heat up. They are tormented by the never-ending progression of time, the annoying ticking on the clock hanging on their wall serving as another reminder of it.

They let out a soft sigh and begin on one of the reports, silently accepting their fate.

Halfway through, the crime-fighter's attention is diverted from their work by the sound of someone loudly clearing their throat.

Curse Villain and their stupid invisibility powers. How they got in here is beyond Hero. All they know is that they're too damn exhausted to deal with the evil-doer's crap.

"Hey, Hero! I missed you! It's been so long," their nemesis chirps, practically bouncing on their feet, with a wide grin plastered to their face.

"You just kicked my butt like two hours ago, so whatever this is, drop it. I got work to do."

The irritation in the hero's tone doesn't go unnoticed by their enemy. This snappy, jaded person in front of them is nothing like Hero's usually cheerful self.

But it doesn't take a genius to put two-and-two together, judging by the stacks of paper, practically hiding most of the crime-stopper's face, the dark circles under their eyes and the tight line of their shoulders.

"That's enough," Villain says sternly, snatching the pen away from Hero's grasp.

"Hey! Give it back."

"Have you seen yourself, Hero? You look two seconds away from getting knocked unconscious."

"But I-"

"Come on, Hero. Would you rather keep staying here finishing heaps of boring paperwork, or come over and relax with me?"

When they said it like that, it was impossible not to cave in. Besides, they still had two days left to finish this. They'd never really listened to their self-indulgent side before, so it wouldn't hurt to satisfy their temptations just this once, right?

Villain drags them over to the living room, playing their favourite comfort movie in the background. (How they knew their way so well around their house, they did not know.)

They pull them into their lap, their nails quickly finding their way along Hero's scalp, scratching it softly, fingers carding through their nemesis's hair.

Oh, but they're not done spoiling them just yet. The stiffness of Hero's movements isn't lost on the villain, and they start kneading out the tension in the hero's throbbing back and shoulders.

When their nemesis lets out a content sigh in spite of themselves, and they lean greedily into the touch, it dawns on them.

"You're touch-starved, aren't you?" they whisper softly, still massaging the sore muscles.

"Probably," their adversary mumbles lazily into their lap.

Villain gently shifts the half-asleep hero, so that they're in their arms now, lightly stroking their soft, fluffy locks. It doesn't take long for Hero to doze off, although they somehow wrap their arms around Villain's torso while asleep.

Next thing they knew, Villain and Hero were asleep in each other's arms.

✨️Le Taglist: @larinzz @syberianjade @lateuplight @altu-whump @enbious-prince @dodo-docs @astr0-mj @thelazywitchphotographer @justalittlecorrupted @addictedsandwhichaki @quaggasus @vernilliom @sirrsnakesssss

Wanna be on the taglist? This will take you there!

#prompt #hero x villain #a little gremlin's writing #touch-starved #is this whump? because it's more comfort than it is hurt #fluff #hero whumpee #villain caretaker #invisibility powers #writers on tumblr #female writers

[epiclamer]

hey!! your writing is awesome <3 i pretty much reread all of your stories for at least 7 times (yea i counted them some time ago, but could be more tbh). if you don’t mind may i please request? a touch-starved villain and a hero who finds this out, maybe with some teasing them about it, and overall kinda fluff. if it’s not too much to ask <3 have an awesome day/night! lol i’m nervous cuz i decided not to go anon lol

Eyyyyy don’t be nervous! I always love meeting you guys! And of course, this is a great trope.

(No reposts but reblogs appreciated <3)

Needing and Getting

Villain stifled a gasp as Hero’s hands clasped around their wrists, sure, maybe they were handcuffing them but it didn’t really matter, Hero’s hands were on Villains body. That’s what mattered. And it was invoking some very unwanted reactions from the criminal themselves.

Once the handcuffs were secure Hero’s hands moved to the villains hips, guiding them as they turned Villain to face front and meet Hero’s eyes. The warmth left a burning imprint along Villains sides, attracting their full attention and raising a blush to their cheeks.

“Finally.” Hero sounded exasperated and exhausted. After all, they had been playing this cat and mouse game for several months now, and just by pure chance Hero had caught Villain tonight.

Villains back was pressed up against the hood of the squad car Hero had been driving when they noticed their nemesis trapped in a sticky situation and took advantage of it. If only Villain hadn’t been so clumsy their heart wouldn’t be beating out of their chest and Hero’s touchy hands wouldn’t be mindlessly caressing their sides.

Hero took a deep breath of the fresh, city night air. Letting it out through their mouth after a moments time, completely unaware that their hands were tracing shapes into Villains hips and driving the other insane.

It wasn’t that Villain didn’t love the touch, and it definitely wasn’t that they didn’t crave it, it was just that it’s kind of embarrassing to break down into a touch-starved and needy mess in front of your mortal enemy. But right now, that seemed to be exactly what was happening.

“Okay, I need to pat you down now so just stand up against the car and spread your legs.” It was definitely a normal thing to say to a criminal you were arresting, especially if you were a hero. However, it was exactly what Villain didn’t want.

After the lack of obeying to Hero’s command, the crime-stopper sighed and moved one of their hands from Villains hip to their shoulder and slowly peeled them off the car. Turning them around gently and tapping their legs apart with the toe of their boot. Then, leaning gently in so that their lips just barely ghosted Villains ear, Hero said, “if you feel uncomfortable at any time, don’t be afraid to let me know, okay? I’ll try to adjust to a more appropriate search.”.

With that, Hero pulled back and began to let their hands work diligently down Villains body. Starting at their hips, going around their sides, moving down to their left leg, hands touching their thigh, working down to their knee and then calf, before Hero’s delicate hands fished a small pocket knife out of Villains boot and propped it on the ground. Hands now moving to the other side.

A couple more miscellaneous weapons dropped to the ground before finally Hero let out a small chuckle that filled the dead silence between the two. “Yknow, you’re usually much more talkative when it comes to our banters, everything okay?”

Villain didn’t respond. They couldn’t. They couldn’t bring themselves to respond because of the overwhelming presence of someone touching them. Someone touching them in careful, kind and soft gestures. It felt like they were going to faint. Every place Hero’s hands touched seemed to burn afterwards. Every moment there was a connection it sent a rush of blood to Villains face. Every time Hero’s hands were removed it was icily cold and dreadful besides the dull burning of imprints.

Villain was sure that if they opened their mouth to say even a word back to their enemy everything would spill out. Every plea, every whine, every beg, every gasp, every shudder, every moan, every groan, every sound that Villain had been withholding while Hero’s hands moved skillfully across their body as if they had done this a thousand times.

They wanted to beg and cry and plead, whether for Hero to stop or for Hero to continue, Villain didn’t know. The only thing they were aware of was how close their breaking point was and how quickly they were approaching it.

“Villain?” Hero’s voice was laced with concern and it was a punch in the gut that brought Villain back to reality. They were facing Hero again, their entire body on fire as they choked on words. Spluttering and blabbering and gasping for breath like they had just been water boarded. Sadly, there was no water here that could cool them off and take their face down a few shades from “tomato red”.

Hero cocked their head to the side, trying to make sense of the villains gibberish until enough word fragments had assembled in their head and they broke out in a knowing smile.

“You’re touch-starved.” It was stated like a fact because that was exactly what it was. A fact. Villain was touch-starved and from the smirk that adorned their enemy’s face, another fact was that they were going to hate the drive ahead.

#ngl. finals can kiss my ass. #writing good tropes like these is so much better. #hero x villain #villain #villain x hero #hero #drabbles #fantasy #imagines #oneshots #scenarios #hero and villain #villain and hero #touch starved #touch-starved #touch starved villain #touchy hero #heroes and villains #villains and heroes

[bloody-bee-tea]

Assumptions

This is 7k long, so if you'd rather read it on AO3, you can do that too

Suguru is on the way to his room, fully intending to enjoy the rare afternoon off by taking a thorough nap, when he hears Satoru’s tell-tale steps behind him. Satoru is not trying to be quiet, which Suguru is thankful for, because it gives him time to brace himself.

And not a second too early because just then Satoru almost jumps him, draping himself over Suguru’s shoulders and hanging off his back.

Suguru’s step doesn’t falter with the added weight and he knows Satoru notices it when he makes a surprised noise in the back of his throat.

“Why are you never, ever caught off guard?” Satoru whines in his ear, his volume just low enough to not make Suguru flinch but he still takes that opportunity to try and push Satoru off, his hand right in Satoru’s face.

“What are you being so rude for?” Satoru’s voice comes out garbled and he clings to Suguru like a deranged monkey, even going so far as to sling his legs around Suguru’s middle.

That almost staggers Suguru until he finds his balance again and Satoru drops his head into Suguru’s shoulder.

“You can’t just do that,” he whispers, a note of despair in his voice and Suguru frowns.

“I’m not the one doing anything,” he gives back, flicking Satoru’s forehead, though he’s careful not to make it hurt too much.

“Yeah, right,” Satoru mutters, but he continues to cling to Suguru instead of walking by himself.

“Fair warning, when I get to my room, I am going to flop down on my bed, with you attached or not,” Suguru tells him as his door comes into view and he can already hear the sweet siren call of his bed.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Satoru confidentially says and maybe Suguru wouldn’t have, but this–this is practically a challenge for him to do it and Suguru is not one to back down. Not when it comes to Satoru.

“Watch me,” he promises him and laughs when Satoru freezes in uncertainty, though he still doesn’t let go. 

He’s going to regret that in a second because Suguru might not look like it, but he’s all compact muscle and Satoru is nothing more than some sticks strung together to form a humanoid shape. Suguru is going to break him, and he’s not even going to be sorry about it. He did warn Satoru.

“Come on, you wouldn’t, right? Right?” Satoru asks, over and over again, poking Suguru’s cheek, and the easy solution to this would be for him to simply let go of Suguru but of course he doesn’t.

Suguru can’t even find it in him to complain, not really, because Satoru is pressed against him, warm and comforting and solid, and when he reaches up to at least pretend to try and dislodge Satoru’s arm around his neck, he finds himself holding on instead.

Satoru must notice too but he doesn’t mention it and Suguru doesn’t know what to make of that. 

He never knows what to make of Satoru in these moments, where he allows Suguru more than he probably should, where they both get a little bit clingy with the other, where Satoru acts as if all of this is normal and in fact wanted by him.

Suguru is never sure and he can’t find the courage to ask, in fear of shattering whatever it is they do have at the moment.

“If you don’t let go, you’ll have to nap with me,” Suguru threatens Satoru, his hand on the door handle and Satoru scoffs, his breath fanning over the side of Suguru’s face, making him shudder.

“As if that’s the worst thing that could happen to me,” he mutters, and Suguru thinks he must know that no matter how quiet he tries to be, with how close they are it is impossible for Suguru to not hear this.

It’s impossible for him to not hear it, and it’s equally as impossible to not be filled with warmth at Satoru’s words.

“One nap, coming right up,” Suguru cheerfully says, trying to distract Satoru from the blush on his face, but they are too close for that as well, Suguru knows.

“Do your worst,” Satoru says with a decided nod, as if he isn’t going to scream and complain the moment Suguru does flop down on him and just as Suguru is about to step into his room, Yaga’s voice rings out behind them.

“Geto, Gojo. A mission’s come up.”

Satoru and Suguru both go still for a long moment before Satoru drops his head to Suguru’s shoulder.

“Fucking geezer,” he whispers into the fabric of Suguru’s uniform, before he finally untangles himself and stands back on his own two feet. “We have the afternoon off,” he calls out to Yaga, sounding distinctly disappointed and Suguru sighs.

“Curses don’t keep to schedules. Now get going, I texted you the information,” is the heartless reply they get and true to his words, Suguru’s phone helpfully informs him of one unread message when he takes it out.

Suguru doesn’t want to admit that he’s just as disappointed as Satoru sounds even though he is. So instead of joining Satoru in glaring at Yaga, he pokes his side.

“Come on. We’re supposed to go together. If we do it in under an hour, we still have ample time to rest,” Suguru cajoles him, and he knows Satoru is on board when sparkling eyes meet his.

“Bet I can do it faster than you,” Satoru says with a wicked grin and Suguru knows that it’s on.

They’ll be back before the hour is over.

~*~*~

The curse is fast, and it’s elusive. Satoru and Suguru have been trying to get it to stand still for the better part of twenty minutes and even though there is no real rush, an imaginary timer is ticking away in Suguru’s head. He knows it’s the same for Satoru.

They said they’d be done in under an hour, but the curse is making it difficult for them by always slipping away. 

It almost feels as if it’s dancing with them and Suguru can’t say that he likes it. He fears that something worse is coming, that it’s just trying to whittle them down, make them reckless and stupid.

Suguru can only hope that Satoru noticed the same thing, because he doesn’t actually get a chance to call out to him, not with how hard he’s breathing, just trying to keep up with the curse.

He doesn’t know what this curse’s goal is and it’s puzzling. There have been no dead bodies around, no mindless destruction and Suguru wonders if this isn’t a special grade curse, one with enough intelligence to have its own agenda.

It’s worrying.

Suguru meets Satoru’s eyes for a split second when the curse escapes one of Suguru’s own curses again, and he sees the same worry reflected back in Satoru’s impossible blue ones.

At least he’s not alone in this.

Still, Satoru wouldn’t be Satoru, if he wasn’t at least a little reckless.

“Hey, we said an hour, remember? Better get going,” Satoru calls out to him and Suguru wants to roll his eyes at him but in that moment the curse lets out an unholy cackle.

“Time to be serious then,” the curse hisses out and Suguru’s stomach drops out when he realises that they have been played.

It’s terrifying to know that the tables could be turned so easily on them, and he sees the same shock reflected in Satoru’s face when his eyes dart over to him.

It doesn’t take him longer than a second to focus his attention back at the curse, but by then it’s already right in front of him. Suguru sees the curse reaching out for him, he hears Satoru call out his name, and then everything is plunged into an inky darkness.

“You’re one of us,” the voice of the curse echoes around him, its hand wrapped around Suguru’s wrist and it feels as if he’s freezing inside out.

“What,” Suguru tries to say but the darkness swirls around him, making him dizzy and he has to cut himself off so he doesn’t gag right where he stands.

“More curse than human, more darkness than not,” the curse goes on and things start to take on some semblance of form.

Suguru can’t say he likes it much, but at least the dizzying feeling is subsiding.

“I’m human,” he finally gets out, still too caught off guard to do anything else, and the hand on his wrist is unforgiving. 

Suguru doubts he can break free of that hold.

The curse cackles again and Suguru takes that time to get his bearings back. He’s not in a domain, though whatever the curse is doing to him must come close to it. Some innate technique maybe? Things are still shadowy around him, but the longer Suguru watches the more shapes he can make out, though everything is plunged in darkness. 

“Yes, look, adapt,” the curse hisses and Suguru immediately stops looking because he’s not going to do what this curse tells him. “You’re one of us.”

“I’m not,” he still says, can’t allow this curse to even insinuate that and he startles when the curse takes on a physical form again.

The glee on its face is unmistakable. 

“Look at yourself, look,” the curse urges him and it raises Suguru’s hand. “You’re like us, dark, tainted.”

It sounds elated by that and Suguru tries to punch it with his free hand but his hand shoots right through its head. It seems as if it doesn’t have a physical form inside this technique and just when Suguru is about to call out one of his own curses, his eyes get caught on his own hand.

It’s black too, like the inky darkness surrounding the curse itself and Suguru freezes. 

“See, you’re like us, tainted. Willingly accepting us into your body and not realising that it changes you,” the curse almost hums out, satisfaction running through it and Suguru shudders.

His eyes dart to his left hand only to see that one perfectly unmarred; his skin almost starkly white against the darkness of the shadows around him. It’s only his right hand that’s black and Suguru feels like throwing up.

It’s the hand he always uses to condense the curses; it’s the hand that holds their essence. 

“Yes, yes, it is,” the curse agrees as if Suguru had spoken out loud. “Here, too,” the curse goes on, reaching out for Suguru and caressing his cheek, before it trails his hand down Suguru’s throat, down his chest, until it comes to a stop at his stomach. “So many of us. So similar to us.”

Suguru looks down at himself and is horrified to see that his stomach swirls with the same shadows as his hand does, as his surroundings do.

He can’t let this get to him, though.

“You’re a liar,” he gets out, trying again to push the curse away, but his hand doesn’t connect with anything.

“Look, look,” the curse urges him again, but this time it directs Suguru’s attention away from himself, to something outside of their little bubble.

There’s a blinding, bright light that makes Suguru squint for a moment, before it takes on a humanoid form.

“He’s not like us, so different from you.”

Suguru frowns but it only takes him a second to realise that the curse must be talking about Satoru. Satoru, who is enveloped in energy so pure it makes him look radiant.

“Satoru,” Suguru breathes out, because he almost forgot that he’s not alone, almost forgot that Satoru is still there and can help. “Satoru!” he says, louder, hoping to get Satoru’s attention through the shadows but the curse only laughs again.

“You already started tainting him, too,” the curse cackles out. “You’re so useful to us.”

Suguru wants to tell it to shut up, but his eyes got used to Satoru’s blinding light and now that he can see him somewhat clearly his eyes get caught on a black shape on Satoru’s face.

It’s in the form of a handprint and Suguru goes slack with shock. That doesn’t stop him from taking in more of Satoru though, and he notices the receding darkness on Satoru’s chest, right where he was pressed against Suguru not even an hour ago.

“It’s contagious,” Suguru breathes out, his heart hammering away in his chest.

“You’re going to spread it,” the curse agrees, clearly pleased. “Soon, there will be no difference between us and him.”

Panic grabs at Suguru’s mind. Satoru is bright and happy, everything a curse is not and the thought that he could taint that, could spread this darkness to him simply by touching Satoru is sickening.

But he can’t let this get to him, can’t trust the words of a curse, of all things.

“You’re a liar,” he says again, much more certain this time, as he summons a curse of his own to throw at the one currently holding him hostage.

He very decidedly does not notice the swirling darkness running down his arm, moments before his own curse manifests.

Suguru doesn’t have time to think about that right now. He needs to get out of whatever technique this is and then he needs to take this curse in so he can verify what it just said. And just as he’s thinking that, Satoru shatters the technique surrounding Suguru and the curse.

“Suguru!” he yells out as soon as the first cracks appear and the curse shrieks.

Suguru takes that opportunity to throw his own curse at it, watching with satisfaction as it’s being teared at by vicious claws.

“Suguru, you good?” Satoru asks, coming to a stand next to him, hands extended as if he’s going to cast red at this curse.

“I am,” Suguru gives back, putting his hand on top of Satoru’s—decidedly ignoring the way it makes him flinch, thinking that his blackened hand should leave a print on Satoru behind—and lowering his arm. “I need that curse. Don’t obliterate it.”

“Did it hurt you?” Satoru asks, tension visibly still running through him and Suguru thinks that if he says the wrong thing now, Satoru is going to explode the curse where it stands.

“No,” Suguru tells him, keeping an eye on the curse at all times, so he doesn’t miss the moment when he can take it in. “I’m fine, Satoru. But I need that curse, so don’t do anything stupid.”

It has the wanted effect, because it makes Satoru puff up with indignation.

“I never do anything stupid,” Satoru immediately complaints and Suguru allows himself a small smile.

“Sure,” Suguru agrees and follows the fight of the curses, hand at the ready to take the curse in.

It doesn’t take much longer, the curse not standing a chance against Suguru’s own and before he knows it, it’s in his hand. Suguru doesn’t particularly want to swallow it, but he needs to verify what it said on his own, because a curse is not to be trusted, and so he brings the sphere to his mouth.

The taste is the same, he’s pretty sure about that, but this time it feels so much worse than it usually does and Suguru gags before the curse even made it down.

“You’re not fine,” Satoru accusingly says from his side, watching him over the rim of his glasses and his gaze is piercing. “What’s wrong?”

Suguru forces himself to swallow, waits for the curse to at least settle a little bit so he doesn’t throw up the moment he opens his mouth before he gives Satoru a tight smile.

“It was a strong curse. I’m good,” he then tells him, putting a hand over his stomach as if that could help to make the curse settle peacefully. As if that could help to keep the darkness inside of him, where it should be.

Satoru continues to stare at him, his gaze searching, but something in Suguru’s expression must convince him, because he bumps their shoulders together.

“If you say so,” Satoru mutters before he gives Suguru one of his trademark smiles. “Then it’s time for some sweets!”

Suguru wants to argue that they agreed to do this in under an hour so they can rest some more, but something sweet on top of the vile taste of this curse might not be the worst thing, so he simply nods.

Satoru laughs at his agreement and drapes himself over Suguru’s side, one arm thrown around his neck, and Suguru fights the urge to flinch away. There is no reason at all to believe the curse. There is no reason at all to think that he could be tainting Satoru at this very moment and there is actually no way he can explain what happened with the curse without sounding stupid.

He needs to verify what the curse said, first.

But that comes after dessert with Satoru.

~*~*~

The curse said the truth.

Suguru verified it the moment Satoru left for his own room, sneaking out beyond the protective barrier so he doesn’t get in trouble with the higher-ups as he summoned the curse to come out again, to use that innate technique on him again.

Suguru is coated with darkness; his hand, his stomach and—Suguru can only guess at this—his mouth and throat as well.

Everything that regularly touches curses is tainted, seems more curse-like than human and Suguru feels sick again.

To think that he touched Satoru like this all this time, that he rubbed that inky darkness all over him without a second thought makes Suguru want to tear his hair out.

“What is happening,” Suguru whispers out, hunched over as if that could stop the darkness from spreading further, and he almost sets the curse free, he’s that unwilling to take it back in again.

He can only imagine the dark smudge it leaves behind on him as it goes down again.

Suguru presses a hand to his mouth, tries to keep the curse and the bile down, as he wonders how he’s going to stay at the school once he becomes more curse than human. He distantly wonders if the alarms will ever go off due to his mere presence and it tears a desperate laugh from his throat.

It will only be a matter of time until he has to leave, that much Suguru is certain about, and until then he’ll have to make sure to keep the darkness to himself.

Suguru hides his face against his legs, presses into his knees until colourful spots appear behind his eyelids and he pretends the burning is due to that instead of tears.

He’ll have to keep away from everyone; he can no longer allow Satoru to touch him so casually, can no longer reach out for Satoru in turn, because he has to keep him save and bright and untainted.

Suguru will simply have to stay away from everyone.

~*~*~

It works for about two days, before Satoru clearly catches on that something is not alright. Two days of desperately putting space between himself and Satoru, of dancing out of the way of reaching hands, of turning when Suguru hears Satoru come up to him so Satoru doesn’t get a chance to drape himself over Suguru’s back.

Two days of keeping Satoru as far away from him as he can.

It’s been two of the most miserable days of his life.

Suguru is despairing on his bed, trying to keep out of the way of everyone when Satoru comes into his room without announcing himself and Suguru immediately tenses.

Satoru doesn’t step further into the room though; instead he leans against the closed door behind him and going by the look on his face, Suguru briefly fears that someone died.

“What’s wrong?” Suguru asks, sitting up as if there is anything he could do if someone really died.

“That should be my line,” Satoru gives back with a bitter smile, “though I can guess. The curse a few days back—it talked to you, right?”

“What?” Suguru breathes out because he doesn’t understand where this is coming from all of a sudden.

“When it touched you, I thought it was just for a brief moment, but it was longer for you, wasn’t it?”

“I was—yes,” Suguru admits because that one is easy. He was trapped in that technique for long, long minutes.

“And it talked to you?”

“It did.”

Suguru isn’t quite sure why that admission is enough to make Satoru’s face twist like it does and he hunches his shoulders as if he’s bracing for a fight.

“It told you, didn’t it?” Satoru finally asks, his voice only audible because it’s deadly quiet in the room and Suguru reels back.

It leaves him speechless for a moment, before a question bubbles up his throat but when Satoru looks at him over the rim of his glasses, the words die on his throat. Of course Satoru would know; if anyone it would be him, with his Six Eyes, seeing right through Suguru, seeing everything that is stained and bad about him.

So instead of asking the question with an obvious answer, he settles for the next best question.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice shakes and it makes Satoru flinch again.

“Because of this, obviously,” he gives back and nods at Suguru. “You’re pulling away, you’re avoiding me. You think I wanted to have that happen sooner? Of course I wouldn’t tell you, Suguru.”

The answer leaves Suguru speechless before anger boils up inside of him.

“You’re so goddamn selfish, Satoru,” he hisses. “How dare you decide that for me? I have a say in this, too, and it doesn’t just concern you!”

“Suguru,” Satoru breathes out, his face pained like Suguru has never seen before and he wants to reach out, wants to pull Satoru close and wipe that look off his face, but he can almost see the black smudges he would leave behind on Satoru and so he curls his hands into fists in his lap.

Satoru might not care about that, but Suguru does.

“No, Satoru,” he bites out. “I want you to go.”

Satoru opens and closes his mouth several times without getting a single word out and Suguru pretends he doesn’t see the sheen of tears in his eyes.

This is not just about Satoru; Suguru is spreading the darkness to everyone he touches, so it’s unfair of Satoru to act like the only victim here.

“I’m sorry,” Satoru eventually gets out, his voice thin and reedy and he leaves without a look back.

Suguru pretends he doesn’t see how the hand that reaches for the door handle shakes, because this is—for once—not about Satoru. He has no right to act like this, has no right to make Suguru feel bad about protecting him and that thought is enough to make the anger take root in his chest.

Suguru is protecting Satoru and for him to act as if that is a bad thing—no. It’s best if Suguru doesn’t come near Satoru at all again.

No matter just how much that hurts, how much Suguru misses Satoru all the time. It doesn’t matter. As long as Satoru can stay bright like he is, Suguru will keep his distance.

It will be fine.

~*~*~

Suguru barely leaves his room anymore for anything but class and missions. He doesn’t remember the last time he simply chatted with anyone, doesn’t remember the last time someone touched him and Suguru didn’t think it would affect him like it does but he feels so goddamn alone these days.

It’s a self-chosen isolation, he knows that very well, but that doesn’t change the fact that he hates it, hates every second of it with a passion he didn’t know he still had in him.

Moments when he sees Satoru are the worst; he’s still angry with him, still mad that Satoru would put himself in danger like that without a second thought, but that doesn’t stop Suguru from wanting to reach out for him.

It almost feels as if his fingers itch, as if there’s a physical ache whenever Suguru doesn’t reach out for Satoru and that alone is reason enough for Suguru to double down on his decision.

If it was up to him he would touch Satoru at every given moment; it would only make the darkness spread faster.

Suguru has confirmed with the curse a few times already that the lingering darkness on Satoru has left, likely being burned away by his own brightness, and the thought that Suguru hasn’t damaged Satoru irreparably yet is the only reason he even stays at the school.

Time passes slowly like this, with Suguru being as alone as he’s never been before, and there are days where he wonders if it’s worth it.

He misses Satoru so much that he finds himself wondering sometimes if a little bit of darkness on him would really hurt that much. Clearly Satoru is capable of cleaning himself of it; what harm could a touch to his shoulders really do then?

Thoughts like these always leave Suguru sick to his stomach; he can’t believe how selfish he is capable of being, how irresponsible.

It makes him want to leave, makes him want to disappear so that Satoru never has to lay eyes on him ever again, but duty keeps him at the school.

There are curses to fight, missions to take on and if Suguru doesn’t do that, then someone else will have to go out. Someone who might get corrupted the same way Suguru already has, and it’s not something he’s willing to risk.

So he continues on as best as he can, even though it feels as if he’s half-dead already.

And it must show, despite how rarely Suguru ventures out of his room, because a few weeks later, Satoru is back.

And this time he seems angry.

“What are you doing?” he asks without preamble, pinning Suguru with his gaze to the bed.

“What do you mean?” Suguru gives back, aware of how empty he sounds, but he can’t change it.

There is nothing fun in this life anymore and he wasn’t aware just how much Satoru brought to his life by simply being there, by being himself.

Suguru misses Satoru something fierce in that moment, and the fact that he’s in the room, that he’s just out of reach makes it worse.

“I get why you keep your distance from me, with—everything, but everyone else? Haibara asked me several times already if something is wrong with you, because you won’t even talk to him. Hell, even Shoko asked if you’re dying and you know how she is. She practically admitted to worrying her head off with that. Why are you avoiding them, too? Your issue is with me!”

“My issue,” Suguru repeats tonelessly and it drags a tired chuckle out of him.

It sounds so insignificant put like that.

“That’s one way to put it,” he mutters, and he has to give it to Satoru, he always has a way of downplaying things, intentionally or not.

“I’m sorry it’s giving you so much trouble,” Satoru whispers out and he seems honestly sorry about it, too. “That’s exactly why I never wanted to tell you. I was afraid that would happen.”

“Oh right,” Suguru says and now the anger is coming back. “You just wanted to let me go on like I did before, casually reaching out and touching everyone? Spreading it?”

“Spreading it?” Satoru asks and rears back as if he has been hit. “Is that what you’re—I didn’t think you were this prejudiced, actually,” Satoru bites back, but even though he tries to sound angry, all Suguru can hear is how hurt he is.

And what right does he have to be hurt when it’s Suguru’s life that’s in shambles? When it’s everyone’s life he endangers.

“So you think just because you shine so brightly, the other’s lives don’t matter? Just because you think you can handle it, I should go around and carelessly endanger everyone else, too?”

“The other’s lives?” There is a pause before Satoru cautiously goes on and he isn’t quite able to meet Suguru’s eyes anymore. “I’ll take it where not talking about my feelings here.”

“Your feelings? What do you mean, your feelings? Gods, Satoru, for once in your life things aren’t about you, alright?” Suguru hisses out and Satoru flinches at the venom in his voice.

But Suguru is near his breaking point; he has spent the last few weeks away from the one person he wants to be close to and now Satoru acts as if only his feelings matter. As if Suguru wouldn’t rather die than keep going like this.

“What is this about?” Satoru asks, guarding himself against Suguru’s answer and Suguru glares at him.

“You said you knew. When I told you the curse told me, you acted as if you knew, so don’t pretend otherwise now.”

“I think—” Satoru rubs a hand over his mouth. “There might have been a misunderstanding. I need you to spell it out for me, what that curse told you. Please,” he adds, and it’s so unlike him that Suguru almost immediately folds.

“I’m turning into one of them,” comes tumbling out of his mouth and once he started he can’t stop talking. “It showed me that I’m just like them; tainted and corrupted. And I’m spreading it. I’m spreading it to everyone, Satoru, I’m hurting all of you with it as well and you especially. You shine so bright, you emit such a strong light, and yet my touch leaves darkness on you as well. I  can’t do it, I really can’t, you’re only going to get hurt in the long run.”

His voice breaks over the last sentence, and Suguru is too tired to feel ashamed of the tears that spill down his cheeks. He has missed Satoru so much and it had hurt to stay away from him; it had hurt even worse to find that Satoru simply accepted it and kept his distance as well.

But now that everything is laid out, Suguru feels even more alone.

It’s not as if anything is going to change, after all.

“What do you mean, you’re corrupted? You’re still you, Suguru,” Satoru says and Suguru flinches when his voice is a lot closer than he expected. “Nothing about you has changed.”

“Right,” Suguru scoffs, and jerks when Satoru kneels down in front of him. “Because I was corrupted to begin with. Ever since I took in my very first curse.”

“I still don’t really understand,” Satoru says after a moment of silence and Suguru is glad that he’s not reaching out for him.

He doubts that he could move away, that he could bring himself to deny Satoru’s touch at the moment.

“You have the curse, right?” Satoru then asks and Suguru nods. “So I’m guessing you confirmed whatever it told you?”

“Of course I did. That was the first thing I did when we returned that day.”

Suguru is almost affronted that Satoru could think he wouldn’t double check it. As if Suguru would simply believe the words of a curse.

“Show me, then. Let me know what it is you saw.”

Suguru doesn’t want to; he doesn’t want Satoru to know just how tainted he already is, but when he meets his impossible blue eyes, he knows that he doesn’t have a choice. He brings out the curse and orders it to show Satoru exactly what it is it showed to him multiple times already.

“Oh, I didn’t know I’m that bright,” is the first thing out of Satoru’s mouth. “If that is what curses see all the time then it’s no wonder they hate me so much.”

Trust Satoru to be as self-absorbed as always, Suguru thinks, and even in a situation like this he has to admit to himself that he sounds more fond than anything.

It’s probably just Satoru’s way of trying to alleviate the tension, anyway.

“I can’t get it to speak again,” Suguru whispers out as Satoru stares at him, the course touching him so it becomes clear just what is wrong with Suguru. “But it’s pretty self-explanatory, I think.”

“It’s actually not,” Satoru says and it’s so surprising that Suguru dissolves the curse in his shock. “Rude,” Satoru mutters. “I wasn’t done looking. But now that I know what to look out for,” he trails off as he closes his eyes.

Suguru wants to ask him what he’s doing but a look of concentration is on Satoru’s face and Suguru knows better than to break him out of it. Satoru always gets cranky when something disturbs him during moments like this.

“There,” Satoru says as he opens his eyes again, and just by how he looks at Suguru now, he knows that Satoru figured out how to see the corruption by himself.

“You shouldn’t,” Suguru whispers and he has to fight the urge to hide himself away and never resurface.

He never wanted Satoru to see him like that again.

“I should. Suguru, you’re not turning into one of them,” Satoru says and reaches out to take Suguru’s hand in his. “Wait, I think I can—” he closes his eyes again, but this time he’s clearly reaching out for Suguru’s own cursed energy because with the next blink, Suguru can see what before he only could when the curse touched him.

Satoru shines just as brightly as Suguru remembers.

“Look, Suguru,” Satoru says and looks down at their still clasped hands. “It’s not turning you, it’s just the residual of what the curses leave behind when you touch them.”

As if to make his point, he wipes Suguru’s hand with his own and true to his words, Suguru’s hand underneath it is still distinctly human and not black.

Satoru’s on the other hand—

“You just took it onto you,” Suguru accuses him and he can just hope that such a small amount is not enough to turn Satoru; that Satoru’s own light will be able to take care of it.

“Think of it as dirt,” Satoru says and looks back up at Suguru. “Curses are dirty, so when you touch them, that dirt stains your hands. If you stopped, it would eventually wash away. If you touch someone else, it wipes off on them. But it’s not permanent, and it’s not altering you.”

“Then what about this,” Suguru whispers and puts a hand to his stomach.

He wants to believe Satoru’s words so badly, but he knows that his stomach is practically leaking with darkness. He doesn’t even need to look down to know it.

“Also residuals. It’s just like—mh, how to put it,” Satoru mutters and taps a finger against his chin. “It’s like water passing through a sieve. The curses being the water here and you’re the sieve. Just because water can get through the sieve doesn’t mean the nature of the sieve changes. Just like your nature as a human doesn’t change, no matter how many of these curses you take in. In fact, I think that if you would stop, and simply let them sit with you, you would purify them and eventually absorb them, but that’s just a theory.”

Suguru can do nothing but blink at him.

“Where did I lose you?” Satoru asks, that trademark asshole grin back on his face and Suguru wants to punch him for it.

And if what Satoru says is true, then he can, again.

“Are you sure?” he asks, the fear still lingering in his mind and Satoru’s expression immediately turns softer.

“I am sure,” he promises. “Besides, if you were really turning into one of them, all of you should change, not just the parts that regularly come into contact with the curses.”

Put like that it makes a disturbing amount of sense and Suguru feels foolish for not coming to the same conclusion before.

But then again—the curse did pray on his fear of hurting Satoru, so Suguru thinks he can maybe forgive himself for not seeing beyond that.

“Great, that means I can do this, then,” Suguru gives back and immediately puts his hand to Satoru’s face and pushes him away.

“What did you do that for?” Satoru says, now from his position on his ass where he fell over with the force of Suguru’s shove.

“Just because I can,” Suguru breathes out and Satoru must realise how much that means to him, because he doesn’t comment further on it.

“So no more avoiding me?” Satoru asks, rubbing the nape of his neck and it dawns on Suguru that there must be something else they have to talk about.

“What did you think I was avoiding you for?” he asks and watches how Satoru freezes.

“No reason,” he rushes out and even if Suguru knew him less well he could tell that it’s a lie.

“Satoru,” Suguru admonishes him but Satoru only gives him a forced smile.

“Seriously, no reason at all,” he repeats, just as unbelievable as before and Suguru frowns.

“You said—your feelings, before. That we’re not talking about your feelings,” he mutters and his stomach does a funny thing. “What feelings?”

“None, I don’t have feelings, you should know that best.”

Suguru probably should, given how close they are, but the truth is most likely not something Satoru wants to hear. Because Satoru has so many feelings, he sometimes doesn’t know what to do with them.

“I do, that’s why I know that’s bullshit,” Suguru gives back and Satoru opens his mouth as if he wants to argue further, before he completely deflates.

“Fine. Fine, Suguru, I have feelings, but—let’s not do this, alright? I just got you back, I couldn’t stand it if you—” he cuts himself off here, a hand pressed to his mouth as if he wants to physically stop more words from spilling out.

“You thought we were talking about feelings, about your feelings, and that I was avoiding you for it,” Suguru mumbles, trying to figure out just what he is missing, what Satoru thought was happening. “You thought I was prejudiced—Satoru, just what are we talking about here?” Suguru demands to know because it cannot be.

He has an inkling of what Satoru could have meant, but he doesn’t dare to trust it. Because that would mean that Satoru—

“We’re not talking about anything here,” Satoru mutters, avoiding to look at Suguru. “Let’s just drop it, alright? It’s not important.”

“Not important?” Suguru’s voice goes high with disbelief. “Satoru, are you telling me you thought the curse told me about your feelings—for me—and I avoided you over it?”

Speaking it into existence almost feels wrong, because surely this is not what’s going on here. Surely, Suguru is reading too much into this and Satoru will laugh in his face every second now.

Except Satoru stays quiet.

“You thought I would avoid you because of that?” Suguru asks again, because he needs an answer to this, he needs to hear Satoru say something.

“Well, why wouldn’t you? It’s not reciprocated, so why wouldn’t you, Suguru?” It seems as if Satoru has found some anger to lean on in that moment because his eyes are blazing. “It’s just the logical thing to do when your best friend confesses his feelings to you and you don’t feel the same.”

“Fuck you, Satoru,” Suguru hisses out, because how dare Satoru make assumptions about Suguru’s feelings. “You have no clue about my feelings.”

It’s enough to get Satoru to deflate again and now he simply seems tired.

“I know. This misunderstanding really drove that home, right?” he asks with a tired chuckle. “Still, I’d rather not hear you say anything to that. Just let me—I have missed you, okay? Let me have this for a few days. And then you can reject me.”

“You’re still assuming things about my feelings for you,” Suguru chides him as he slides down to the ground. “And you still didn’t actually confess anything.”

Suguru reaches out for him, carefully tangling their hands together. It’s been so long since he did that, so long since he allowed himself to touch Satoru and it’s only in that moment that he realises just how incomplete he felt all this time.

“Suguru,” Satoru breathes out and there’s a thread of hope in his voice. “If you’re playing with me, I’ll hollow purple you into the next life,” he threatens but Suguru can feel how his hands shake.

“Fair,” he gives back with a small smile and it seems to be enough for Satoru.

“I’m in love with you,” Satoru says, the words falling between them like a promise and Suguru is not going to let it go unreciprocated for a second longer than it takes him to form the words himself.

“I’m in love with you, too.”

Satoru sucks in a breath, as if it’s really a surprise to him and Suguru takes that moment to pull him into a hug. Satoru slots against him like he always has, and when Satoru’s hands grab onto him almost painfully, Suguru knows that he’s not the only one who has missed this something fierce.

“Next time we should both use more words,” Suguru mutters into Satoru’s temple, who lets out a weak chuckle.

Suguru doesn’t mention how wet it sounds because his own eyes are burning as well.

“Let’s rather make sure that there isn’t a next time,” Satoru shoots back and that, too, works in Suguru’s eyes.

“Deal,” he agrees and presses a kiss to Satoru’s temple.

Now that Suguru no longer has to be afraid to taint Satoru with his touch and now that he knows he’s actually allowed to—and even welcomed—to touch Satoru, he fears he’s going to have a hard time stopping himself.

But when Satoru rubs his nose into Suguru’s throat, his hands still clutched tightly into his shirt, he thinks that maybe he doesn’t have to; not with Satoru doing the exact same thing.

#bt writes #jjk #satosugu #stsg #hurt/comfort #misunderstandings #angst #curses #assumptions #touch-starved #love confessions

[curatoroffiction]

Touch-Starved Azul Fluff: Part 2

Part 1 -----   "Hey Azul.." You yawn and come up beside him, resting your head against his shoulder, hugging him from behind. The octopus finds himself flustered as your touch calms nerves he didn't even realize were flustered. ".. Hello, ___. Not sleeping well?" "Nah, Crowley's been riding my ass about some problem happening in the bowels of the school. It's all bullshit down there." You gripe, nuzzling into the back of his neck, slowly worming your face into the crook of his neck, looking over his shoulder. "What're you up to?" Your hands warmly wrap around his waist, tugging him in close.

His face warms up as he finds himself flustered by how close you are. How nice it feels. How he realizes how badly he missed your company because of how nice it felt to be touched by you. ".. Would you like to rest in my office in the Mostro Lounge?" "Nah, your couches are uncomfy as hell." "I've never quite had someone compare my establishment to unending torture before." "Really?" You grin against him. "With your reputation with students, I'm surprised." He scoffs and shrugs you off, flustered at how wonderful your grin felt against him. He knows you're messing with him. He turns to face you but he sees the circles forming under your eyes from how tired you are. He reaches out without thinking and gently touches your face, concerned for your health. "Oh look what that horrible headmage has done to you.." You've been so touchy-feely with him, he didn't even think a second thought about it until he feels the warmth rising in your cheeks under his touch, and the way you stare at him star-struck from the contact. The look in your eye is so strange and new that he panics and pulls away, stammering; "A-ah.. Please just take better care of yourself." "You should take care of me." He's bewildered as you say this, looking at you in confusion. "???" "That felt nice. Hold me Azul! Nurse me back to health!" You drape yourself onto him again, this time laughing as he short-circuits and gets flustered and tries to push you away. He gripes but it's no use. You've got him in your arms, and he can't hide how nice it feels to have you draped around him. He rubs the bridge of his nose, his shoulders sinking as he sighs. He tries to recompose himself, but he can't make eye-contact with you. You're such a strange friend compared to the people he's met so far. But, he thinks he likes it.

#Twisted Wonderland #Twst #Reader Insert #Reader-Insert #Azul #Azul Fluff #Fluff #CuratorOfFiction #Fanfic #Fic #Mini-fic #Mini Fic #Touch-Starved #Touch Starved

[stelera]

Parallel Play Week 2024 Day 6 - Touch-Starved

Neither of them seem like they'd be the cuddliest people when you first meet them, but at the end of a long day, neither Inuyasha nor Deidara want anything more than to curl up with one another in bed and fall asleep in each other's arms. For being a pair of tough-as-nails demon hunters with hot tempers and smart mouths, they're both still very touch-starved, and find it easiest to sleep at night when they're as close as possible.

#parallel play week 2024 #Inuyasha #Deidara #Akatsuki #Naruto #anime #manga #crossover #crackship #it's my sleepover and i get to pick the crack ship #InuDei #Inuyasha/Deidara #touch-starved #extreme snuggles #and like... y'know... #all the things that go with that #;3c

[phoenix-downer]

Touch Cravings Chapter 2

~1320 words. Set post-KH3. Terraqua, Aqua and Ven friendship, and background Sora/Kairi. Grief, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Touch Starvation, Friendship, Romance.

Summary: Aqua is dealing with the effects of her time in the realm of darkness and then the grief of losing Sora. Thankfully, she has Ven and Terra to help her get through this chapter of her life.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

(Companion piece to Touch Hunger [Chapter 1 | Chapter 2]).

“Can I come in?” Terra asked. 

Aqua’s face was flushed with embarrassment, but she nodded. She had wanted to see him, after all, even if she would’ve preferred less awkward circumstances. 

Terra had to stoop a little to get through the door. Their rooms were in an old wing of the castle, which meant they were built back when people were shorter, and Terra was not a short man.

Aqua gulped as he drew closer. She was wearing baggy sleeping clothes and didn’t look very put together. Her bed had about five crumpled blankets on it too. These rooms got drafty at night, which was why fireplaces were in each of them. To distract herself, she quickly summoned her Keyblade and mumbled a quick Fire spell under her breath to light the fireplace. Now there was a warm, crackling fire in the corner, and its familiar sounds were relaxing and soothing.

Terra stood awkwardly by her bed. He likewise was dressed more comfortably than his usual attire: simple sweatpants and a t-shirt that still managed to be form-fitting because his muscles made it impossible not to be.

Her face flushed again, but for a much more pleasant reason this time. She patted the spot next to her, and Terra carefully sat down, making the bed creak.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so standoffish lately,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about everything and getting lost in my thoughts. But I want to be here for you and Ven.”

Her lips parted. She still wasn’t used to him being so open and honest. But he and she and Ven had talked about what had driven them apart, and bad communication was at the top of the list. So now they were all trying to get better at good communication. Which meant she should be honest too.

“Thank you,” she said. “I want that too.” 

“To be honest, I don’t really know what to do next,” he admitted. “Being back feels better than I could’ve dreamed. Being myself again, being free of Xehanort for good, being whole…it’s like I’m getting a second chance at life. But with Sora gone, it feels wrong to be happy.”

“I know what you mean. Why are we here when he’s gone? I keep replaying what happened in my mind, over and over again, thinking about what I could’ve done differently.” She smiled bitterly. “Something I’ve always been good at. Ruminating over past mistakes. I don’t need other people to torment and torture me, I do it to myself just fine.”

“You and me both,” Terra said, his head drooping and his voice heavy. “I can’t help but feel like Sora’s death is my fault.”

“I feel the same way. I told Ven earlier that that means we’ll just have to save Sora. But I have no idea how.”

A few long moments of silence passed as Terra searched her face. “We could…we could go to the realm of darkness,” he said at last.

Aqua shuddered. It was a possibility she’d considered. That place had so many ties to death that it would be silly not to at least check. But the thought of returning to that hellish place where she’d been trapped for over a decade? Her stomach roiled at the thought of it.

Playing with one of the blankets on the bed, she said, “I know it isn’t rational, I know you and Ven would be with me, but I…I’m scared of going back. I’m scared of something happening and getting trapped there and winding up alone again.”

For so long she’d been on her own. Going back to that existence was her worst nightmare. She hoped Sora wasn’t alone. She wouldn’t wish the solitude on her worst enemy. It ate you up inside, made you crave something, anything from another living being. A kind word. A gentle touch. After a while she started hearing voices and fantasizing about past touches, hoping they would happen again. Haunted by the ghosts of her own memories. No wonder she’d created a phantom out of her fears.

“You won’t be. I won’t let that happen,” Terra promised, his voice low and determined. The look on his face as the flames from the fireplace flickered across it…she knew he was deadly serious and would keep this promise with his life.

Oh how badly she wanted to touch him. Her hand twitched as she restrained it. She hadn’t realized how much she would miss human touch during her time in the realm of darkness. But after returning, she realized it wasn’t just any touch she craved the most. It was his touch.

“It’s messed up, I know,” she admitted, “but after a while…even a stray Heartless brushing up against me during battle felt good. I sometimes…I sometimes let them, even if it meant I got clawed. Just to feel something.”

He rested his hand over hers, and a pleasurable shudder went through her whole body. She noticed his hand trembling a little too. Maybe he’d been touch starved in his own way too. He’d been in the realm of light, sure, but not as himself. His heart had been trapped inside that guardian, and how often had he really gotten any sort of physical affection?

“Thank you, that feels nice,” she murmured. He tenderly stroked her fingers, and it felt even better.

“You’re not alone, Aqua.” He caressed her arm, and her breath caught. She was no slouch in the physical strength department, but his hand was so much bigger and stronger than hers and yet so gentle.

“I know.”

He cupped her cheek, and now her breathing really was shaky. It felt so good and he was being so bold and everything was overwhelming. But a good kind of overwhelming. So very, very good. She just wasn’t used to touching again yet, especially not like…like this.

He smiled as he caressed her cheek, and she rested a hand over his. She wanted to touch him too. Wanted to give him what they both craved. They weren’t alone anymore, and why not celebrate that fact? If it would help her face her fears and go back to the realm of darkness to search for Sora, then there was nothing wrong with enjoying this closeness with Terra.

No, that wasn’t it either. She wanted to be close to him for the sake of being close to him. Might as well be honest with herself about it.

“Aqua,” he murmured, running a thumb over her lips, and her breath hitched. A part of her felt like this wasn’t real: the look in his eyes, the feel of his hand, the warm fire crackling in the corner. The fact they were in her room, alone, together. That he wanted her and she wanted him and they both craved each other’s touch and company. But it was real. It was real, and she wanted to savor every moment.

He leaned close, and her eyes fluttered shut. His lips brushed against hers, and all the bad memories fighting for her attention melted away. In this moment only the two of them mattered. She wasn’t alone. She was here with him, and in these stolen moments they could make up for lost time.

She wrapped her arms around him as he deepened the kiss, and he did likewise. Embracing at last. Oh, they’d hugged before, but never like this. If she’d been starving for all those years, she was now at a banquet for two and not entirely sure where to begin. But they would figure it out together, she was sure of that.

She’d saved him all those years ago, and now, in his own way, he was saving her. Or maybe it was more accurate to say they were saving each other. Ending the loneliness and solitude and longing for affection that had plagued them both.

Whatever it was, she was glad they had each other.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Thank you for reading!

#kingdom hearts #terraqua #terra x aqua #terra/aqua #aqua #terra #kh aqua #kh terra #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #touch starvation #touch hunger #touch hungry #touch-starved #friendship #romance #kh fanfiction #phoenix writes #phoenix-downer #touch cravings #chapter 2 #long post

[the-reassurance-bucket]

Made for Stanarratober Day 6! :]

#the stanley parable #my art #tsp fanart #tspud fanart #tsp #tspud #tsp narrator #tsp stanley #tspud stanley #tspud narrator #stanarrator #stanarratober #stanarrator discord #stanley parable #touch-starved