#unless‚ of course‚ theres more to fear from it now when you think you might actually have something to lose... like fwendship 🥺 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

supergigabigboybabechad · 7 months

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She/they, bisexual, asexual, 19 (I tried to make it less formal sorry if it looks formal still. 💜)

I have blueish-gray eyes with red hair that's in a side shave (like one side on my hair is shaved). I am chubby, I have tons of freckles except on my face. I like wearing emo style clothes or comfy clothes like hoodies and sweats. I hate dresses and shorts, I don't like showing off skin. (If you need I picture I can send you one in dm or I can send a picrew).

Likes: anything with drawing/painting, games including board games.

Dislikes: uhhh spiders, driving (I refuse to get a driver's license it's a huge fear of mine.) I'm not scared of being in a car just driving it.

Isfp-t or my kin itto and scaramouche, I am a cancer. People say I have rbf (resting bitch face). Though I am really nice to people, unless they mess with the people I care about then I couldn't care less about them. I try to be helpful when I can. When I am around people I know, I can be loud and talkative (the loud part isn't on purpose it's just when I'm happy or excited). I tend to put people a lot before myself. I don't really like talking about my personal issues to anyone and can be known as the therapy friend. It's the opposite though when I'm around people I don't know, I'll be quiet and not wanting to interact. I have adhd, depression and anxiety (wonderful I know). When I do get upset I don't talk and won't interact until I have calmed down. I do cuss a lot though I'm more careful when I'm around kids/people I don't know. If I have a fight with someone I prefer to sit and talk it out and hate it when they walk away from me when I'm just trying to talk to them.

Hii!! Im sorry this took so long I wanted to make sure you’d definitely love it and I couldn’t do much over weekdays but weekends are for double time! So here you go!❤️ (order is less to most compatible imo!🔥)

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul would REALLY appreciate you wanting to talk things out during a fight, as well as how easy you are to talk to!

Azul has insecurities himself, so it’s safe to say he’d get scared you’d leave him if you left your fight without resolving anything, with his nature in general, pretty sure he hates loose ends

Once you’ve talked things out while being civil and mature, he’d ask “So, could we call this situation resolved?”

The way his voice shakes a little you can tell he’s worried

Upon hearing no and that it was just a conversation to better understand each other, that now that you’ve resolved the issue you can both better work to avoid it next time, not only is he relieved but he’s smitten with how smart you are!

Azul is overworks himself too. Top ranking student with a successful business, theres definitely a lot on his mind…

Luckily you’d be there to support him, he wouldn’t want to appear weak to you so if you asked him what was wrong he’d respond with the usual “just tired”

Urge him to take the break he so desperately needs so he can just sit with you

His jacket’s not very comfortable so if you’d offer him your hoodie he’d bashfully accept and lean on you

He likes that you’re chubby! It kind of hits home for him with his past but the way you’re so beautiful dare he say your size adding to such beauty it soothes his past wounds

He would love to play board games with you!! He’d take you up at every challenge

He might let you win if he’s feeling especially benevolent but if you beat him on your own accord he’d keep challenging you till he won

If it’s largely a skill based game it would bother him so much that he’d devote hours to practice just to be able to win

Azul would understand your anxiety due to his own, he may not experience it the way you do but he sure knows how it feels

He’d drag you to the vip room where you could have time to think

If you’re willing to talk to him he’d walk you through your thoughts and help you rationalize what’s going on

He’d also get Jade or Floyd to bring you some food and refreshments, on the house of course, to make sure you’re in the right headspace

If you wanted to help him out while he works he’s really appreciate it! Being helpful to him, trying to decrease his workload, he feels cared for

That and any time with you relaxes him, suddenly paperwork feels less like a chore.

Silver

Upon first meeting you silver wouldn’t be deterred by your rbf (he has one too). He’d speak to you in his overly formal way.

He wouldn’t mind you being quite or not talking much either, with his caring nature, he’d often come to you just to check in and make sure you’re okay

Silver is very much an acts of service lover. He’d take care of all the spiders for you! He wouldn’t kill them he’d carefully scoop them out and leave them far away from you.

He’d assure you everything is alright and taken care of. Then being knightly as he is, he’d ask if you need anything and bring you a glass of water.

Always going the extra mile to ensure your safety and well being he’d sit beside you, just in case you needed anything.

Speaking of, he’d always be there to comfort you when you’re struggling with your mental health

I cant say he’d know exactly what to do the first time he sees you having a panic attack.

He’ll try his best to comfort you but be hesitant knowing the fragility of the situation. What he will do though is research on how to better help you the next time, he’d speak to you exactly about it as well, not during your attack but he’d bring it up casually

While taking you out on a date in the forest, woodland creatures surround you both having in a relaxed state.

“The other day, how often does that happen?____ Mmh.. I see, I’m sorry, the next time, even if I’m not there, I want you to come to me. What can I do to help you?”

This applies to anxieties about your relationship with him as well.

If you’re anxious about anything in your relationship, it will hurt his heart to know you feel that way and he’s do anything to make sure you have no reasonable doubt in his love for you.

Silver would love your painting.

If you ever wanted inspiration to paint or draw anything outside he’d accompany you out into the forest

Creatures would come running to him wherever you are giving you a lovely scene to spark inspiration. He might fall asleep while your painting but with all the animals around him and the soft light hitting him you might end up with him on your canvas

He’d be flustered to find that he was the muse of your latest work (very flustered)

“Oh this.. No it’s nice the technique, you’re very skilled.. I just…” he wouldn’t be able to properly express how happy he is

Silver would also encourage you to talk about your personal problems. As your knight and lover, it’s his job to make sure you’re happy and safe

He’d know when you’re upset and ask you about it but he doesn’t want to push, he’d encourage you to tell him but if you’re uncomfortable he wouldn’t force it.

Instead, he’d show you acts of service, taking you out for a walk or just all together refusing to let you be alone

With Silver you’d never feel lonely and you’d always have someone there for you, and someone who will put you first the way you do for others

Leona Kingscholar

This seems like a very unlikely pairing i know, but I feel like you’d really compliment each other!

Can’t say your first impressions of him would be great.. he’d definitely be a bit very rude but generally, i don’t think he’d make any personal attacks, I don’t think he really does so in general he’s just kinda bitchy

You wouldn’t understand what he has against you and try to ask about it. He wouldn’t be receptive at first, if you really think about it, nobody’s really put effort into trying to understand him. You’ll receive push back when trying to understand him

Once he realizes you’re truly trying to have a conversation, he doesn’t know how to take it, he’s touched deep down though, he won’t show it of course but from then on he’s acted more…neutral towards you?

Putting others way before yourself?? He won’t have it, he doesn’t care if you’re nice to people that’s none of his business, but he won’t let you do anything to harm yourself

As lovers, he wouldn’t give you sweet words, but you can tell he speaks to you softer than anyone else, but when it comes to things like this, where you’re indulging in unhealthy habits, he’s much more stern

“Hey herbivore, there’s a difference between being helpful and being a pushover. Do you really want to be doing that?”

If you don’t give in and take care of yourself first, he’ll grab you for a nap

“We’ll I need your help too. I’m your boyfriend, shouldn’t I take priority, i need to be comfortable while I sleep….. Hah? What about them, I’ll tell them you’re busy”

He’d love your comfy clothes and soft body! It’s more comfortable for him when he holds you.

The way you’re protective of the people you care about? Be ready to be on the receiving end x2

If anyone even slightly mistreated you while he’s around, he’d demand things be made right and that you receive an earnest apology

He’ll drive you around too! Or he’ll have someone take you, he’s so reluctant to show how much he cares for you with his words but he’ll do things for you that you know he wouldn’t do for anyone else

If you want him to play a board game, he might make a comment on how childish it is but willingly join you

Unless it’s chess he’d willingly challenge you, if you express desire to play video games though he’ll blow you off about not having any, but the next time you see him he has a console with competitive games for you to play together, he claims it’s because beating you is fun any way so might as well expand his horizons

As for your anxiety? If he notices you’re anxious, he’ll say he wants to ditch and take you somewhere quiet

“Hey, what’s going on with you?” The lack of attitude in his voice gives away his genuine worry. If you don’t respond or say you don’t want to talk about it, he’ll sigh, sit you down beside him and just lean you against his chest where you can hear his heart beat.

Keeping his hand on your head so you can’t move away, whether he intended it or not the sound of his heart beat would soothe you.

His hearing is highly sensitive so he’ll know when you’re feeling better due to your breathing. “Do you wanna tell me know? Or do you wanna stay there?”

Leona would be what you’re missing, he’d stand up for you and make sure you’re first. But at the same time you’d be what he’s missing too, no one has taken the time to truly listen to him, what he thinks or what he feels, with you he feels heard.

Idia Shroud

With how introverted you’d both be at first, you probably got close through board game club

Idia gets more talkative when he’s in a competitive mood which would likely lead you both to opening up while playing

His competitive spirit might bring out something in you too leading to your board game matches to become a more frequent thing (you’re more normal about games than Azul)

I have no proof other than pure gut instinct but I feel this VERY STEONGLY HE WOULD LOVE YOUR FRECKLES HE WOULD LOVE THEM SO MUCH I KNOW HE WOULD

Later into the relationship, he’d hold your face and kiss them as a greeting, afterwards he’d pull back and admire them while lightly brushing over them with his thumb(HE WOULD TRUST)

He loves your style! But he REALLY LOVES your hoodies, if you accidentally forget one in his room, he wont give it back, even when asked about it he’ll claim to have never seen it

He’d get really embarrassed if you asked to wear his racket though, no mater how close you are he’d want so badly to say yes but just wouldn’t be able to get the words out

You wouldn’t have to worry about driving! Idia would just whip you up a car that you don’t have to drive

Spiders though? You’d have to fight about who has to kill them…

Idia has a bad habit of saying the wrong thing, he doesn’t mean any harm but he doesn’t get much social interaction so the things he says can come off in the wrong way, that’s why he appreciates how understanding you are!

If you were to talk to him about it he’d rephrase what he said to better fit what he meant

If you yelled at him he’d cry so the way you approach him in such a mature and understanding way is so comforting, any worries he had about confrontation with you are gone

He understands your anxiety, very much so

He’d walk you through a whole exercise if your experiencing anxiety with him, then he’d give you a piece of candy(he always has some on him) and tell you to focus on enjoying the sweetness of it while walking you through a breathing excercise

He has hella video games too! He’d bring you over to play them, he’s playing to win too, I hope you’re in the mood for some friendly trash talk

Before he knows it, he finds himself comfortable with you, comfortable enough to be himself letting him feel safe with you im sure he hopes you feel the same way about him

——————————————P.S. Your style sounds so cool and ur hair style too! (Also I love freckles!!)

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regenderate-fic · 2 years

Text

Who You Pretend to Be (Who You Are): Chapter 5

Fandom: Doctor Who Ships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Yasmin Khan & Rose Tyler Characters: Thirteenth Doctor, Yasmin Khan, Rose Tyler, Jack Harkness, Dhawan!Master Rating: General Word Count: 4,285 Other Tags: Chameleon Arch, Bad Wolf Rose, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Wolf as Disability, Disabled Character, Reunions

Read on AO3

Summary: The Doctor, escaping a threat, turns herself human, leaving Yaz to look after her. Of course, it gets difficult when the human Doctor, or Penny, immediately thinks Yaz is her girlfriend. And it gets even more difficult when Penny drags Yaz to a lecture by one Rose Tyler-Noble, who’s brought a friend Yaz recognizes. Yaz starts putting the pieces together, befriending Rose along the way.

Written for the Doctor Who Creators Summer Exchange for SpaceBetweenGalaxies.

There was something on the monitors.

Jack found it first, a disturbance in the rift, barely detectable, and then Rose’s time senses started tingling. She struggled with how much to tell Jack: he needed to know something , but if she said too much, it would give him information he wasn’t supposed to have. Finally, she settled on, “It’s part of a case I’ve been following. I should be able to handle it on my own.” Which wasn’t strictly true— she was handling it with Yaz, technically— but Jack didn’t need to know that either.

“Great,” Jack said. “I’ll leave it with you, then. Tell me if you need support.”

“Will do.”

Jack went back into his office, and Rose pulled out her phone.

Rose: its here

Rose: the time dragon

Yaz: !!

Yaz: What do we do?

Rose: did the doctor say anything abt this?

Yaz: No

Yaz: But the point was to hide her from the dragon

Yaz: If the dragon is here and it’s looking for a Time Lord and doesn’t find one, it might move on

Rose: maybe

Rose: worth a shot

Rose: & we’re monitoring + i can feel it

Rose: we need 2 keep our eyes on her tho

Rose: i really am going 2 talk 2 jack abt that job

Yaz: I can at least hang out at the cafe tonight.

Yaz: And we don’t have plans tomorrow. If you can talk to Jack and get her in Monday, we’d only be missing her when she’s in class.

Yaz: I could quit my job anytime too

Yaz: Esp if we’re not going to be here much longer

Rose: if shes in class all day theres not much point

Rose: unless ur ready 2 tell her smth

Yaz: Do you think I need to?

Rose: hm itd just make her seem suspicious i think

Rose: shes got 2 blend in

Yaz: Okay

Yaz: I guess this doesn’t change much.

Yaz: Makes me nervous though

Rose: you & me both

Rose: tell me if anything happens ok?

Yaz: Course I will

Yaz: Thanks

Rose: ofc

Rose went back to her monitors. She’d been scheduled to have the next day off, but that was out the window now: she settled in for what she was sure would become a sleepless night.

—

Yaz spent all Saturday and Sunday with Penny. It was easy, when all they had to do was hang around the flat: she just had to make an excuse to linger throughout Penny’s Saturday evening shift, which Penny and most of her coworkers mercifully interpreted as romantic rather than weird. Yaz had her laptop with her, anyway, and tried to make it look like she was there to work— she’d lied and told Penny she was doing a research project for the museum. It wouldn’t justify her being there every day, of course, but if Rose offered Penny that internship soon it wouldn’t matter. (The Master— or Oliver, if that’s what he was going by— wasn’t there, to Yaz’s relief and concern. When she asked Penny about it, she just shrugged and said he had the morning shift that day.)

Sunday was easier. Both of them had the day off, and that meant they had the day to spend together. Penny wasn’t the type to rest on her days off, preferring to go out into the city and find something to do, but that was at least something Yaz could accompany her in. So they wandered around downtown, popping in and out of shops, enjoying Cardiff.

Or— Yaz would have enjoyed it, if it hadn’t come with a constant undercurrent of fear. She’d been stressed this whole time, but Rose’s texts had brought with them a tension that refused to dissipate, sitting in Yaz’s stomach, her arms, her legs, informing her every move. She was trying to hide it from Penny, but it was only a matter of time.

And then, Sunday evening, just after they arrived home, Penny’s phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her pocket, and Yaz watched with trepidation as a grin expanded on her face.

“Guess what!” she said.

“What?” Yaz asked, hoping she already knew.

“Remember Rose?” Penny asked. “From Torchwood?”

Yaz nodded.

“She wants me to work for her.” Penny was barely containing her excitement: every part of her body was stiff with the effort of holding back.

“That’s amazing,” Yaz said, smiling. “Really.”

“She says I can start this week, if I want.” Penny frowned. “I’d have to quit at the cafe. But honestly, I’m a bit tired of that anyway. It’s nothing compared to working with real aliens. ”

“That’s great.” Yaz moved to pull Penny into a hug, hiding her face over Penny’s shoulder. Penny squeezed her back, her excitement finally bubbling over. “That’s what you wanted, right?” Yaz added.

“It’s my dream,” Penny said, and when she pulled away from Yaz, Yaz could see it in her eyes. It was the same way the Doctor looked when she pulled the TARDIS doors open to see someplace new: it was a look of awe and discovery.

Yaz loved it.

“We should celebrate,” she said. “Go to a restaurant or something.”

“Oh, brilliant plan, Yaz! You know, that new place right by campus is supposed to be amazing .” And now all Penny’s excitement was coming out: she bounded to the door, and Yaz went after her, struggling to keep up.

She would miss this, when she got the Doctor back. The uncomplicated nature of it all: the easy knowledge that, at the end of the day, she was with Penny, and Penny was with her.

Yaz had spent this whole time missing the Doctor. And she still missed the Doctor: it pulsed in her chest, a glaring ache. But at some point in the last month and a half, she’d gotten used to being with Penny. As much as she’d tried to avoid it.

She tried not to think of what the Doctor would say, when she came back. Especially now that Penny had spilled the secrets the Doctor had been hiding for months. Her relationship with Penny had never been real, no, but now Yaz had seen the Doctor’s face turned on her with love in its eyes— now she’d felt the Doctor’s body next to hers— now she knew what it was like to hear that voice say I love you — she didn’t know how she was going to go back to brushed-off concerns and opaque expressions. Yaz never expected the Doctor to be as open and unapologetic as Penny: the Doctor had a complicated past that spanned millenia, and Penny was just an ordinary Ph.D. student in her 30’s. But still. As Yaz sat across from a starry-eyed Penelope, she couldn’t help but feel like she’d lose something, turning her back.

Penny’s first day at Torchwood was strange. Jack had agreed to hire her, with the stipulation that she would be under Rose’s supervision; of course Rose had agreed, grateful for the chance to keep Penny’s work separate from Jack’s. She arrived two minutes late, running towards the entrance, her hair sticking out all over.

“Sorry!” she gasped when she saw Rose. “Got held up at the lab. You would not believe the state some of these undergrads leave it in.” She tilted her head to the side. “‘Course, I wasn’t much better.”

“It’s all right,” Rose said. “Come on, I’ll show you what I’ve been working on.”

One of the things Rose had said, when she was trying to convince Jack about the job, was that they were lacking in the science department. And they were— both Rose and Jack were good with mechanics, and Rose had done enough dimensional engineering to at least understand most of the readings they got. But neither of them were really experts in that regard, and they had been running without much of a team for a while now.

Which all was just to say that Rose had plenty to show Penelope, that first day, and most of it Penelope turned around and explained right back to her much better than she could manage. She really did remind Rose of the Doctor, actually: the way she approached the work with awe and excitement, the way she went off on tangents about the things she was interested in. She seemed a little more self-conscious, maybe, than Rose’s Doctor had been, pulling herself out of her tangents with a, “Sorry, I don’t mean to ramble,” and a little less willing to jump into a situation without knowing what she was getting into— when Rose showed her a map of the galaxy, stars spinning out from a deep center, Penny asked permission before hesitantly reaching out and taking the computer’s mouse. But Rose could see the connection between the Doctor she’d known and the human standing before her, completely engrossed in footage from telescopes across the Earth.

Even if she hadn’t had a reason to hire Penny, Rose thought, it would have been a good idea.

Yaz came by near the end of Penny’s time— she’d picked up enough of Torchwood’s layout to let herself in, stepping out of the elevator and into the lab with her bag over one shoulder and her leather jacket draped over her arm. The second Penny saw her, she looked up and called out, “Yaz!”

“Hiya.” Yaz came over to where Penny was sitting, pulling up a chair. “Anything interesting?”

“Oh, loads,” Penny said immediately, launching into an explanation of disruptions to Earth’s magnetic field. Yaz’s eyes met Rose’s, and they both smiled.

Yaz had a new routine. She would go to work, all the while battling the horrible nagging feeling that something awful was going to happen to Penny while they were separated, and then she would spend a few hours hanging out either at a coffee shop by the museum or in the plaza by Torchwood. And then, once it was almost time for Penny to be done at Torchwood, she’d go down to the lab, and Penny would explain some new astrophysics concept to her, and she and Rose would share a knowing look.

“You don’t have to walk me home every day,” Penny said, after a week of this.

“No, I don't,” Yaz lied. “I like to, though. Besides, I like to see what you’re doing.” That much was true, anyway. Penny shared the Doctor’s ability to make just about anything sound interesting.

The only drawback, really, was that it was much harder to get Rose on her own. But they’d stayed in touch over text— mostly just Rose confirming that the time dragon was getting closer, and Yaz confirming that she was keeping an eye on Penny as best she could. There wasn’t much they needed to discuss in person. But still— Yaz had enjoyed, even for so brief a time, being able to be around someone who knew the full situation.

But things were settling again. The tension stayed in Yaz’s body— it was familiar, after her time in the 1900’s, and she was beginning to worry she’d never relax again. Otherwise, though— Penny was happy, and as safe as Yaz could keep her, and things seemed all right.

Until the time dragon finally came.

Yaz and Penny were walking home from the bus stop when suddenly Yaz felt it: a wind, out of nowhere, so strong it blew them both off course. It could have been nothing, of course— it could have been a regular wind, showing up at an improbable time. But somewhere, deep in Yaz’s gut, she knew. She pulled out her phone and found Rose in her contacts. Another wind buffeted them, and Yaz took Penny’s hand. The phone was ringing.

“Weird storm,” Penny remarked. “You all right?”

“Yeah, fine,” Yaz said. “Look, Penny—”

The phone stopped ringing. Rose’s voice said, “It found you, didn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Yaz said. “Look, I’m going to try and get us back to the TARDIS. We’ll be safer in there.” To Penny, she added, “C’mon. I’m going to find us shelter.”

“Yaz,” Rose’s voice said, sharp with worry. “Are you all right?”

“I’ll be fine,” Yaz said. And she believed it: she’d always had a level head in a crisis, no matter what else was going on, and this was no exception. The Doctor’s very life hinged on this moment— but Yaz had a plan unfurling in her mind, and she was going to execute it as best she could.

“Who are you talking to?” Penny asked. “Is that Rose?”

“Er—” Yaz shook her head. “I’ll call you back,” she said to Rose. She hung up the phone. “Come on, Penny, let’s get somewhere safe.” She tugged at Penny’s arm, pulling her towards the park. The TARDIS was right nearby— closer than their flat, even, which made it a plausible source of shelter.

“Where are we going?” Penny asked, stumbling after Yaz. “There’s not going to be shelter here.”

“You’ll see,” Yaz said.

“Yaz, what’s going on?” Penny asked, a plaintive note in her voice. “You’re acting really weird.”

“I know,” Yaz said. “It’ll make sense soon, all right? But for now I need you to trust me.”

“Okay,” Penny said. She didn’t sound convinced, but she did let Yaz pull her through the park to the TARDIS.

“In here,” Yaz said, pushing the doors open.

“Oh!” Penny exclaimed. “I’ve seen this in my dreams! Except in my dreams it was—” And then she fell through the doors, and her breath caught. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Yaz went straight to the console, her footfalls loud in the darkened space. It was all wrong, the TARDIS without its ambient sounds— but Yaz was afraid to wake it up. If the Time Dragon could track Time Lords, it surely could also track their TARDISes. So she just leaned against the console, staring up at the central crystal. “Welcome to the TARDIS, Penny.”

Penny ran up next to her. “Okay, so you’ve got to tell me what’s going on here. What is this? Have you had it this whole time? Have you been lying to me about who you are?”

“No,” Yaz said quickly. “Not about who I am.” She turned around, her back to the console. Penny was a couple feet away, staring at her with wide eyes. Yaz wished she could enjoy the role reversal. Under less dangerous circumstances, maybe she would have. She stuck a hand into her jacket pocket, turning the gold watch over in her hand. She felt it thrumming with the Doctor’s missing heartbeat.

It wasn’t time to open it yet.

“I promise,” she said to Penny. “I’ll show you as soon as we’re safe.” Her phone was buzzing again, and she picked it up.

“Yaz?” Rose’s voice said. “Are you all right?”

“We’re in the TARDIS,” Yaz said. And oh, she was never going to get used to the way her voice sounded in the silent console room. “I’m not turning it on yet in case that’ll attract the dragon. Any updates?”

Dragon? Penny mouthed. Yaz ignored her.

“It’s definitely here,” Rose said. “Giving me a headache, honestly. Keeps popping in and out of the third dimension. Jack’s definitely going to notice the readings when he comes in tomorrow.”

“We’ll worry about that tomorrow,” Yaz said. “Don’t suppose you’re above falsifying things?”

“Definitely not,” Rose said. “Feels weird lying to Jack, though.”

Yaz glanced at Penny. “Yeah, tell me about it.” She sighed. “Right. Suppose all we can do is wait.”

“Call me if anything happens.”

“‘Course.” Yaz hung up the phone and took a deep breath.

She turned back to Penny.

“Right,” she said. “Maybe we should talk.”

“Yeah, maybe.” It was the most sarcastic she’d heard Penny or the Doctor— it cut at Yaz, laced her with guilt.

“Let’s sit,” Yaz said. She led Penny over to the steps. She sat on one, and Penny, cross-legged, took another. She faced Yaz, leaning forward.

“What is all this?” she asked.

Yaz pushed out an exhale. “Can you tell me about your dreams?”

Penny frowned. “My dreams?”

“Yeah. When we came in here, you said it was like in your dreams.”

Yaz watched as understanding began to dawn on Penny’s face.

“My dreams,” she repeated. “I don’t know. There’s so much—” She paused. “I’m all different people. Sometimes I look like this. Sometimes I don’t. And there’s always this box, and it’s always bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, but the inside looks different. Sometimes the outside looks different, too, but it’s always the police box.”

Yaz nodded. “Go on,” she said.

“I’m— I think it was called a Time Lord,” Penny said. “Except that in the one I told you about, I found out I wasn’t. And you were there, sometimes, and we traveled together. We had good fun, sometimes.” She paused. “And I traveled with Rose, in some of them. Oh! And Jack! And loads of other people, actually.” She frowned. “I’m old, in the dreams. Lots of time to make friends.” She looked at Yaz, and Yaz saw something of the Doctor in the fear wavering in her eyes. “Yaz? What are you trying to tell me?”

“Your dreams are true,” Yaz said. “Or— maybe not all of them. I really don’t know how it works. But— you’re not human. Not really.” Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. “You did this thing— there was something after you, and you turned yourself human so it wouldn’t find you. It gave you new memories and everything. You told me the TARDIS would leave you just enough memory of me to let me in. I'm not normally your girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Penny said. She frowned. “But I liked you in the dreams.”

Yaz shrugged. There was a lump in her throat, and she tried to swallow it. “I can’t tell you how you feel about me,” she said. “I mean, when you’re the Doctor.”

“I think I like you,” Penny decided. “How could anyone resist a Yaz?” But then her features settled, and she looked at Yaz. “But— what does this mean?”

Yaz shrugged again. “I’ll turn you back when we’re out of danger,” she said. “Rose will tell me when it’s safe.”

“Oh, Rose!” Penny said. “Do I know Rose? I mean, as the Doctor?”

“Yeah,” Yaz said. “Or, you used to. I think you two are going to have a lot to talk about.”

“And Oliver,” Penny added. “What’s he doing here, anyway?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Yaz said.

Penny’s expression darkened, a pale imitation of the Doctor’s cold rage. “I don’t think I care for him much.”

“He hurt you,” Yaz said, as neutrally as she could.

And then she saw the despair hit Penny’s face, her mouth opening, her eyes going dead. “Oh,” she said. “All that— all that pain. It was mine all along.”

“I’m sorry,” Yaz whispered. She hadn’t considered this, what would happen if Penny realized the truth behind her dreams. She shifted to sit on Penny’s step, wrapping an arm around her much the same as Rose had done for her a few weeks before. Penny clung to her, not quite crying, and Yaz buried her face in Penny’s hair, taking in the clean scent of her shampoo.

“It’s going to be okay,” she said. She believed herself when she said it— but of course, “okay” was subjective. It was going to be okay, because Yaz wasn’t going to let the time dragon get the Doctor, and because she was going to turn Penny back into the Doctor— but then they’d have all the problems Yaz and the Doctor had, plus all the baggage of having been pretend girlfriends for weeks, and the uncomfortable fact that Yaz had learned the Doctor’s trauma by chance rather than by choice.

For a given definition of “okay,” then. They would be okay.

Yaz didn’t know how long she and Penny sat in the dark console room, waiting for the threat to pass. They didn’t talk much: they just sat on the steps, trying not to let the foreboding gloom of the situation press too hard on their shoulders, trying not to fall asleep in the dark room as the hours wore on. Yaz kept an eye on her phone, checking every few minutes to see if Rose had messaged: and then finally, so late the clock had turned over and it was early, Yaz’s phone rang.

It was Rose.

“Yaz?” she said.

“It’s me.” Yaz rubbed at her eyes. “Are we safe?”

“I think so.”

“Right.” Yaz paused. “I told Penny.”

“Are you going to turn her back now?”

Yaz glanced at Penny, watching her with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” she said. “I think so.”

“Right, then.” There was something in Rose’s tone— hope, maybe. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Yaz hung up the phone.

She turned to Penny.

“Is it time?” Penny asked.

Yaz nodded.

“I like being me,” Penny said. Her voice broke. “Penelope. I like my simple life.”

“I know,” Yaz said. She took a deep breath. “But— the Doctor told me to turn you back.”

“I’m scared,” Penny said.

“I know.” Yaz’s hand slipped into her pocket. Closed around the watch. The Doctor’s heartbeat thumped against her palm.

She pulled the watch out.

Penny’s eyes went to it immediately.

“I can hear it,” she whispered.

“It’s yours,” Yaz said. “Are you ready?”

Penny teetered. “Hang on a second,” she said.

Yaz waited.

Penny stepped forward. Her hand snaked behind Yaz’s neck, tangling in her hair, and Yaz pulled away.

“I can’t,” she said. “Not now that you know who you are. It’s not fair to the Doctor.”

“I’m not the Doctor,” Penny said. Her eyes narrowed. “Although I’m not convinced the Doctor would mind.”

Yaz couldn’t think about that. Not when she was about to see the Doctor again.

“Consider it a dying wish?” Penny added.

“Penny, I—” Yaz shook her head. “Come here.” She pulled Penny into a hug, burying her head in Penny’s shoulder, letting Penny’s hair tickle her cheek. Would the Doctor keep the haircut, Yaz wondered, or would she let it grow back out?

Penny held her, arms tight around Yaz, and Yaz felt suspended, separate from everything. For a moment, she forgot where she was, forgot what she had to do: she had been resisting for weeks, maybe even years, and now she relented, allowed herself to fall into Penny, allowed herself to feel something other than anxiety and guilt and worry.

And then her thumb slipped on the watch.

It burst open, and Yaz stumbled back, watching golden light seep out. Penny stared as the light came to her, entered with her breath, and her eyes screwed themselves shut.

Yaz could see the moment the Doctor came back.

It was in her expression: her brow relaxed, her jaw set itself. Her eyes were still shut, but impassively so, rather than out of any sort of pain. She held herself differently, standing up a little straighter, her arms tensed a little more.

And then her eyes opened.

“Yaz,” she said, and oh, that was the Doctor, that many-layered voice, full of emotions Yaz couldn't begin to name.

“Doctor,” she said. Their eyes met. The Doctor's eyes— Yaz hadn't realized how much she’d missed the Doctor’s eyes, the way she looked at Yaz with everything in the universe.

And then something shifted, and Yaz became horribly aware of the position of her body in space, the way she didn’t really know what to do with her hands, the way her braid had become messier and messier as the night went on. She broke eye contact.

“Hold on,” she said. She went to the console and reached underneath, pulling out a bundle of fabric. When she straightened up, the Doctor was still looking at her, not saying anything. She thrust the bundle of fabric in the Doctor’s direction. “It should all be here.”

The Doctor took the bundle. She shook it out, and her clothes fell to the floor: T-shirt. Undershirt. Culottes. She wound up holding her jacket by the shoulders, staring blankly at it.

“Thanks,” she said quietly. And then she looked back at Yaz, her brow furrowed. “Hang on. Still trying to sort out my memories. Do I remember— Rose Tyler?”

“Tyler-Noble,” Yaz corrected instinctively.

“Where’d the Noble come from?” the Doctor asked. But before Yaz could say anything, the Doctor had already moved on. “Oh! And— the Master?” Her face settled into the stony line that always accompanied talk of the Master. Her tone shifted in the blink of an eye, growing cold and uncompromising. “What’s he doing here?”

“I don’t know,” Yaz said. “I didn’t exactly want to get close.”

“Right. Smart.” The Doctor faltered for a moment, and then she launched herself forward, pulling Yaz into a hug. Yaz flailed, just for a moment, but then she forced herself to relax, wrapping her arms around the Doctor.

“I missed you,” she admitted, a confession mumbled into the Doctor’s shoulder.

“I’m glad to be back,” the Doctor said, and for a moment Yaz allowed herself to hear the implicit with you .

And then the Doctor pulled away. “Right,” she said. “I’ve got some people to find.”

Yaz: She’s back.

Rose rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and combed her fingers through her hair. Nerves jumped in her belly: she hadn’t seen the Doctor in years. She didn’t know what to expect. She was trying, very hard, not to expect anything at all, but she couldn’t stop the smile from creeping onto her face as she looked into the mirror.

The Doctor was back.

#doctor who #my fic #fanfiction #thirteenth doctor #rose tyler #thirteenrose #thirteen x rose #doctorrose #yasmin khan #thasmin #thirteen x yaz #who you pretend to be (who you are)#chameleon arch #bad wolf as disability #bad wolf rose #angst #reunions

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probably-haven · 3 years

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How Visions Work(Theory)

genshin spoilers

there’s a lot of headcanons about the effect of visions on the body temperature of the characters with pyro or cryo visions but a lot of them stop there an i want to propose we take it one step further

so the general agreement is that pyro users run hot and cryo characters run cold but imma take a moment to talk about the science of that real quick.

if something feels warm, its because the object is expelling heat from itself to its outside environment(itself losing warmth) if something feels cold, its because it’s absorbing and taking the heat from the outside environment into itself(itself gaining warmth)

which actually matches up pretty well with how i believe their visions work which ill cover before getting into what i think that means

pyro visions work by absorbing the users body heat and before then expelling it into the environment when they wish to use it. When the vision reaches what is essentially its max storage capacity, it resumes working at normal, absorbing heat from the user until it’s used, but at this point it stabilizes, because the pyro energy built up within begins overflowing into the nearby environment, a majority of it returning to the user to keep their body temperature from getting too dangerously out of wack. But by passing through the vision, the body heat is converted into pyro energy and made more intense, so the surplus tends to linger around the user, hence the heat that can be felt when touching or around them. the user can then use their powers with either the pyro energy stored in the vision, or that which still lingers around them.

cryo visions on the other hand work in a bit more of a complicated manor. like pyro visions and other visions, most of the energy that they get is from interaction with the user, in this instance, steadily taking heat from the environment that would have naturally have been observed by the vision had it been any other inanimate object and passing in through the vision and into the user, the process creating of the heat leaving the vision creating cryo energy, a sort of anti-heat vaccuum-like substance, which once it reaches it’s max, overflows in a way similar to the pyro vision, leaking into the nearby environment, helping to balance the user’s body temperature while the remainder lingers around them, absorbing heat from the environment. the user can then use the energy stored in the vision(less than pyro because more steps means less room) or that which still lingers around them (more because less room means more over flow), plus they need more surplus in order to balance cuz their temperature is more volatile

visions do however possess the ability to begin expelling energy early should the user’s body temperature become too dangerous, an ability that is missing from delusions of the corresponding element

this leads me to have a few headcanons that i really like because im obsessed with angst

1. contrary to what you might believe, after using a significant amount of their powers, Pyro users are are absolutely cold to the touch(cuz the lack of surplus energy leaves nothing to disguise or raise their low body temperature as the constantly absorbing heat to refuel) and Cryo users feel hot (the lack of surplus energy doing nothing to disguise or lower their high body temperature as the vision is constantly having to expel surrounding heat into the user in order to refuel cryo energy)

2. however during this state they are also the least likely to leave behind traces of elemental energy(like those that can be seen with elemental sight)

3. this cycling of energy actually makes a vision behave more like a part of the user that also serves its own role in maintaining homeostasis (makes it so losing a vision is quite literally comparable to losing an organ)

4. until the vision has enough stored energy for surplus to linger, Cryo users are prone to over heating and Pyro users are prone to the opposite

5. this rapid and common changing of internal body temperature also tends to weaken their immune systems

6. the lingering surplus of energy is also more easy to manipulate than the stored energy, so while it lingers, it has a tendency to be easily influenced by the user’s emotions.

7. yes this means accidentally freezing and setting things on fire during emotional extremes, or more subtle effects for those that are less extreme

8. in dragonspine, Cyro users are actually weaker but healthier. The lack of heat to cycle through their vision and body means less cryo energy is created, but less heat is there to build up in their bodies

9. Pyro users on the other hand- are in real big danger, unless they made sure to have large amounts of elemental energy before hand. They take longer at the torches they like because they need every bit of heat to raise their naturally low temperature and to make more pyro energy to both light the next torch, and to constantly have enough surplus that it doesn’t just steadily drain all the pyro they have.

10. a lot of the pyro users are overly energetic and active and move around alot, which is known to raise body temperature, and whould help with this, then there’s hu tao who while energetic is not all that active, but i think her job of “guarding the border” makes her more tolerant of the low body temperature. similar to yanfei’s constitution as an adeptus. Bennet is energetic but doesn’t move around quite as much and all, but... his luck is bad enough that he just thinks everyone feels like/has to deal with that. and Diluc- we’ve all seen the fluffy jacket. Klee constantly setting grass on fire and otherwise being hyper. Amber, gliding champion of mondstad, “i feel like running” Amber. Yoimiya is pretty active and works around fire. I dont have Xinyan so i dont know for sure in her case but i assume it fits the bill.

11. as for cryo characters- Qiqi is a zombie and Ganyu is half adeptus, different constitution. A lot of the characters are or try to be more calm and level headed, known for being kind of “slackers” to use kaeya’s words, though by this i mean they dont do excessive physical activity outside of training and that which is necessary. Diona is a bartender, often staying in one place, the opposite of pyro, keeping her body temperature down. Ayaka rarely leaves the kamisato estate. Chongyun is complicated- more on him later. Rosaria known for shirking her church duties and being basically lazy, the same as Kaeya. And Eula- i actually dont have an explanation- maybe just... the training to endure- like that one test where you have to walk through dragonspine all fancy without being thrown off.

now as for Chongyun

him with his popsicles and yang energy, needing to maintain a cool body temperature at all times as a result of his constitution

i mentioned a failsafe of visions, where should their users’ body temperature lean to dangerously to any one extreme, the vision will begin releasing the stored elemental energy early.

Chongyun’s however doesn’t store energy at all, instead immediately expelling all cryo energy it makes as soon as it forms so it can immediately absorb any dangerous body heat that Chongyun was exposed to in it’s making. This means that the surplus energy(the type more likely to be accidentally manipulated by emotions) around Chongyun is more than most other cryo users would have.

however, the balance is really fragile because his temperature is kept from getting out of hand almost entirely by his vision so external factors are extremely dangerous, as there is a still a cooldown between the transfer of heat the release of cryo energy- so unexpected sources of heat can cause a rapid rise in already fragile temperature that runs its course and wreaks havoc on the childe before the cryo energy is able to balance it out- and the problem is- with the surplus being easily manipulated by emotions, the sudden rise in temperature has a tendency to activate it, using it up and leaving him without a source of temperature regulation, which only worsens the problem. at which point the vision probably begins storing cryo energy until theres enough built up to reset his body temperature in one go- which usually ends with him passed out.

anyways i had a lot more planned to write but if i kept going i fear how long it’d get- i just think it has potential to evolve into a lot of cool things and theories for how the world works, and reflect the archons..... let me explain that-

so assuming anemo energy is created bey absorbing and then renewing the oxygen in the user’s blood, as opposed to dangerous body temperatures, it tends to have an anemic affect on their wielders, hence why all the anemo vision users have this tired air to them, Xiao’s... Xiao-ness- he just looks exhausted, Jean’s constant exhaustion that totally isnt made any better by her workload, Kazuha’s general calm relaxed disposition, and sucrose’s general demeanor- idk i just think anemo vision wielders give off anemic vibes, until they have enough surplus for the taken oxygen to replenish

except for venti- who doesn’t actually use a vision, who is literally a wind sprite, made of air- always running around and being all energetic- because he doesn’t face these problems- if anything he has extra energy and air to use. He’s basically the opposite. (windrise may have some weight in this-)

which means other archons may model this-

im not sure about geo but with electro

assuming that the constant transfer of electricity through the user’s body would eventually have a frying effect that shortens their lifespan over time(an idea largely inspired by Lisa’s voice line on visions and other theories on it) then Baal’s steady eternity serves as another opposite to this and yet pursuing eternity it becomes odd that she would give visions at all, so i feel archons must get some benefit from giving visions or she wouldn’t have done it-

but anyways imma stop now- hopefully someone found this interesting and runs with it, but if not it makes sense too

... actually geo might have something to do with an erosion-like metaphor, similar to what was brought up in the azdaha fight

still thinking about hydro tho, and im not even gonna bother with dendro

....

..... can you tell that I kin Sucrose and Albedo yet? It’s not even funny istg it’s becoming a problem .... actually scratch that i have a dark sense of humor, its kinda pretty funny

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creacherkeeper · 3 years

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im getting a little too in my family feels today and so INSTEAD of feeling those im just going to ramble for a second about why i fucking love paladin!aelwyn because. im. just like this i guess im coping leave me alone

cw for discussions of child abuse, maladaptive coping, drugs and alcohol, self harm, destructive tendencies, basically everything we see in canon and the implications

aelwyn is ... SO interesting to me because for as much of her interiority as we see, as much of her as we think we understand, as much as i could ramble about her character for hours, we know ALMOST NOTHING about her in actuality?? (besides ... one key thing)

(this is like 2k and probably incoherent someone please stop me)

okay. listen. almost everything we see aelwyn do in s1 is maladaptive rebellion against her parents and home life. the drinking, the drugs, the partying, perhaps some of kalvaxus (though i dont think we fully understand how much of that was forced on her as well, kalina WAS watching her when she was talking to adaine about it). you can say like, oh aelwyn is a party animal, she's impulsive, she makes risky decisions, she's bitchy and rude, and its like. okay but IS SHE ACTUALLY. because under her parents thumb she had an EXTREMELY limited amount of freedom, and usually when people are suffering from very little control over their life, they WILL act destructively over the tiny bit they can, either harming themselves or their environment or people lower than them in the pecking order, because in a way, that feels like a reclamation of autonomy. saying "you have so much power over me but can you stop me from hurting myself and destroying what you havent managed to claim yet?". its just like, kind of what human brains do and frequently has little to do with a persons actual personality or impulses, its just. desperate brains trying to control SOMETHING because autonomy is a fundamental human need and when thats taken away we get. very bad off. (this is one big reason eating disorders are SO common with abused kids.) so i think a lot of the s1 aelwyn we see is like. this is a very desperate, abused teenager "acting out" in the only way it is possibly somewhat safe for her to do so because, on a psychological level, the self destruction is weirdly the only emotional tether and its either this or just dissociate all the time (something we do see she has problems with in canon)

and yes, she did treat adaine horribly in s1. she fully did. obviously what we get in canon is what happens but a moment thats interesting to me is in episode 1 where adaine has attacked aelwyn several times, who either does nothing or just bounces it back, when she says "i never cast spells at you" and siobhan immediately retcons it and says "yes you do, all the time" (i havent gone back and watched this bit so i might be wording this wrong). obviously its an improv show and the canon is built between performers as they go, but that was interesting to me. that brennan hadnt intended for her to have fought back in that way. she definitely feeds into the emotional abuse from their parents and participates in all the toxicity there, but we know in canon that she did that because of overwhelming fear and self preservation. and that her self hatred because of it just fed back into the cycle and made her feel like she wasnt good enough to even try to break free from it. this is very common in golden child/scapegoat sibling relationships where the golden child SEES what the parents are capable of and becomes a participant in the abuse out of fear for their own standing. in any way siding with the scapegoat child not only directs abuse at themselves as well, but frequently makes things WORSE for the scapegoat because the parents will take out the challenge to their power on them even more. so, if aelwyn DID ever try to defend or help adaine when they were small, she would have VERY QUICKLY learned that made things worse for everyone. and just. sectioned that part of her brain off, as she's done with so many other things. (and i dont think im reading too much into the forest scene with the abernants to say their parents were VERY QUICK to turn abuse towards aelwyn if she stepped out of line even a little. like, you dont flinch when a hand moves unless. you know. dont need to say it just something to think about. as far as we saw in canon, she had done everything they asked of her leading up to the forest, and we DONT KNOW what happened in it but we do know brennan specifically called out how in broken spirits she was when adaine was summoned, even though they did the ritual to avoid all of the nightmare bullshit)

(the house party is literally a whole separate post but i think its fair to point out that 1) she was super under the influence when that was happening which DEFINITELY is in no way an excuse for her behavior but worth remembering when trying to analyze that 2) her losing that fight did canonically have DRASTIC consequences for her and even if she didnt know exactly how that was going to turn out, i think she knew how bad it might be. and she did not know adaine or any of the bad kids were going to be there in the first place)

all that said, it feels in some ways counterproductive to say that aelwyn is an extremely devoted and protective person (yes we're getting to the paladin shit i know i've been rambling a while) but i think that thats strangely ALL WE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT HER. because we've established that her self-destructive and abusive behavior in s1 is almost entirely psychologically scripted for her by her parents, we dont know how much of her villain shit in s1 was LITERALLY UNDER THREAT OF DEATH because we know at least killing the oracle was and we dont know how much of the rest of it was mandated by either her parents or kalina other than that she probably was under orders not to tell adaine the truth, and we know participating in all of this caused extreme self loathing in her that she refused to show to anybody and was too terrified to act on in any way

so, like. what does that actually leave us?

here's what we do know about aelwyn:

- of all the schools of magic, she went into abjuration

- the entire bbeg plan from season 1 hinged on aelwyn's complete faith that her level 1 sister was the most prodigious diviner in the world

- right after (?) the house party, she locked her memories where only adaine could find it with a note basically saying "theres so much bad blood between us but i know only you could find this"

- she desperately wanted to protect adaine and the fact that she was too afraid to do so made her hate herself (and her knowing that adaine now knows this is the turning point in their relationship)

- despite everything, even in the nmk forest, she still loved her parents

- the SECOND she is shown genuine love and affection and care from adaine, and adaine says whatever you do, i am here with you, all her actions from there forward are just about protecting adaine from their father, very nearly at the cost of her own life

- with what she probably thought were her last words (and would have been if adaine hadnt given her the tincture), all she wanted to communicate was how to help adaine and the bad kids, and how despite everything she had always believed in her

- at five levels of exhaustion, unconscious, she used her first spell slot after nine months of torture to build a shield around adaine

NOW we get to paladin!aelwyn. because, once everything is stripped away, the abuse and the control and the maladaption and the threats and the torture, EVERYTHING we ACTUALLY can glean about aelwyn's personality and inner core is that she's protective and devoted. and of course classes arent locked by personality, but that just screams paladin to me. its her WHOLE THING. adaine even says "wizards dont have heals, we dont care about other people" and of COURSE that isnt true for either of them, but? mechanically? aelwyn chose the wizard school that DID let her protect, and DID let her help, but i dont think, at this point, going forward, thats really going to be enough for her (and we could also talk about the parallels between them, how often adaine uses her portents to help other people)

i think a lot of the different reads on aelwyn come from this fundamental disconnect between her actions and displayed personality vs who she actually is and what she actually wants. and i think there are very different interpretations of what thats going to look like for her going forward. but i think, for a girl who's most hated characteristic about herself was her self preservation at the detriment of others, her perceived selfishness, and her fear ... isn't choosing to be braver and more selfless and more protective and shedding that self-preserving instinct for the betterment of others ... and MECHANICALLY being able to act on all those things ... the logical next step? i think its going to be a LONG TIME before aelwyn can love herself, but what other way is there to try? if adaine loves her, and adaine believes she can be better, isnt being better because she trusts adaine kind of a form of self love? saying, i dont believe in myself, but i believe in the person who believes in me, and maybe, in a roundabout way, thats the same thing. she was never able to TRY to be better before, because trying to improve even a little, even when people arent watching, when a harmful force has so much power over you and your actions ... like, the mental dissonance is honestly TOO much to even try, thats WAY more terrifying than letting yourself be bad, to the point where thats psychologically impossible for a lot of people. but now she actually has space and freedom and CHOICE and she CAN embrace the instincts she always had to shove down, she CAN be the person she knows her sister needed her to be

i dont know, i think theres an inherent love letter to yourself in wanting to be better and wanting to improve, even if you justify it by saying its for someone else. and now aelwyn actually CAN improve, and thats probably going to be extremely awkward and scary and there will be set backs and backslides for sure. but. i dont know. i think she wants to make up for lost time. because she never wanted the time to be lost in the first place. and if a protector is who she always wanted to be, whats stopping her from being that now?

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #aelwyn abernant #WHO LET ME WRITE ALL THIS #does this even. fucking. make sense. who knows.#THE BRAINROT THE BRAINROT THE BRAINROT

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marshmallow-xphile · 3 years

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My thoughts on the sexuality of some of my favorite X-files characters.

I posted this in my X-files amino back in June as part of a LGBTQ pride challenge and for some reason I only just thought to post it here as well.

Fox Mulder: openly bisexual

Mulder is so open sexually that I really don't think gender matters all that much to him. He does seem to prefer females but I wouldn't be even remotely surprised if he had a boyfriend or two in the past. I don't think he's flamboyant about his sexuality but I don't think he'd hide it at all either

My evidence:

In the season one episode "Ghost in the Machine" we meet an Mulder's ex-partner, Jerry, and I absolutely feel like there is an ex-lovers vibe to the both of them. They hug upon first seeing each other, Mulder looks incredibly happy to see him, when Mulder says they worked together Jerry corrects him to say they were partners at which point Mulder looks over at Scully as if to see her reaction. Mulder has this real guilty look to him. When Jerry acts a little self conscious Mulder is real quick to jump in and reassure him. They get in each other's personal space. It just really leaves me with the impression that they care deeply for one another and broke up for other reasons, perhaps the different career goals as Mulder tells Scully.

We also have Mulder with Krycek. From the very beginning of Krycek's involvement with the X-files I feel like the writers went out of their way to make a correlation between the change in partnership and a new partner in a relationship. There is a scene in Sleepless where Mulder and Scully are on the phone and Mulder tells Krycek he'll be right there, the rest of the conversation feels reminiscent of two exes chatting about the change brought about by the new relationship. Scully even brings up that it must be nice having a partner who doesn't question his every theory.

There were many scenes in Sleepless, Duane Barry, and Ascension in which Mulder and Krycek were alone but that we never got to see who knows for example what the two of them got to talking about while they were stuck in traffic during the drive to New York in Sleepless. Or how often they hung out between Sleepless and Duane Barry.

During Mulder and Scully's partnership Mulder only called her 'Dana' on a few emotional occasions. He started casually calling Krycek 'Alex' almost immediately.

Let us not forget the infamous speedo scene. While yes it definitely showed more of a Krycek attraction to Mulder than the opposite. It does make one wonder what led him to wear such a revealing bathing suit. How many straight men do you know who wear speedos? My guess is few. How many straight men wear speedos when they can reasonably assume their male partner will show up looking for them? Not many would be guess.

And then there is their relationship after Krycek is revealed to be a traitor. They both tend to act more like scorned lovers than enemies and notice that it's Mulder, not Krycek, who cannot seem to keep his hands off the other. Seriously it's like every time Krycek shows up, Mulder immediately grabs him.

Now here's a couple quotes from Mulder,

Krycek tells Mulder he most be losing it because Krycek beat him with one hand. Mulder's immediate reaction: "isn't that how you like to beat yourself?"

When the little man in Humbug is lined up pretty much exactly with Mulder's crotch he says that Mulder would be surprised how many women find his size alluring. Mulder's immediate reaction: "you'd be surprised how many men do as well"

How many straight guys do you know comfortable enough with their sexuality to make a gay innuendo? I personally cannot think of any.

Dana Scully: bicurious

I believe that Scully is sometimes attracted to women. It definitely is not as blatant as with Mulder and I really don't think she's had any past girlfriends but I definitely think that there is an attraction.

My evidence:

In the episode "Ice" I really felt like there are a few tender moments between her and Felicity Huffman's character especially while they were examining one another for the worms. That examination had a sort of sexual energy to it I thought.

In the episode "kill switch" theres a moment where the Invisagoth asked if she could have her handcuffs removed or if she should type with her tongue. Mulder mentions that she doesn't want a vote there and the look on Scully's face and the way she licks her lips, I definitely get the impression that she would have been perfectly happy to see what Invisagoth could get up to with that tongue.

Some people point to Scully's relationship with Reyes as evidence of her bisexuality, I personally don't see any attraction there on Scully's side but I don't think its outside the realm of possibility.

Monica Reyes: Closeted lesbian

This one's probably a surprise I know there was something between here and Brad as well as a flirtation with Doggett so you would probably think she was Bisexual but honestly was either one of those even remotely convincing? To me they weren't. I believe that Reyes is a lesbian.

I kind of go back and forth on whether she's open about it. Reyes is very spiritual and open so it seems strange that she would be in the closet but maybe she has a reason, fear of it affecting her career in the FBI perhaps? It just seems strange that she keeps pursuing these heterosexual relationships she has no passion for unless she is trying to hide her true passion.

My evidence:

I admit I really have very little evidence but look at the relationship between Reyes and Brad Follmer. It had all the chemistry of two people who got really drunk once and cannot remember sleeping together. I don't for a second believe she was ever in love with Brad nor he in love with her.

Then you've got the same thing between her and Doggett. Yes the writers were obviously trying for a romantic angle with the two of them but to me it never came across as convincing. It seemed more like she thought of him as a good friend and figured she might as well date him, I saw no evidence of love or attraction.

On the other hand look at her and Scully. While I feel like the attraction there was one sided I definitely feel like Reyes was into Scully or Dana as she would call her. Reyes was willing to risk her life for Scully and yes that is her job after all but Reyes seems to take that above and beyond and it's not just Scully herself but also William. Look at how protective Reyes is of William in The Truth and of the sacrifice Scully made in giving him up. She seems to care even more than Mulder on that.

Cigarette-Smoking-Man: Asexual

CSM has probably had sex at some point, he is of course the father of at least three children but I do not think that he was ever in love with any of these women or even attracted to them. I believe they were all just a means to an end.

I believe that CSM's only love was for his cigarettes

Evidence:

There is a little bit of evidence that he might have actually felt something for Teena Mulder but I don't buy it. He freely admits that he felt nothing for Cassandra Spender but he must've been convincing if he got her to marry him and we have seen him fake emotions more than once. He also seemed to show an attraction to Scully in En Ami but that too was just a means to an end. Perhaps he does feel something towards all the women he has impregnated but I wouldn't call it love. I don't see any real attraction there either. My bet is that CSM needed some "help" in order to produce his offspring.

Alex Krycek: Gay

While Krycek did have an obviously sexual relationship with Marita Covarrubias he definitely didn't have any real feelings for her and I don't buy attraction either. No I'd say they were both just trying to use sex to get what they wanted. His anger at finding the Russian boy gone wasn't because he was heartbroken at her betrayal. Merely mad that she'd managed to get the upper hand.

Whether Krycek is open or in the closet I'm not sure, I'm thinking it probably depends on the mission hes on at the time.

Evidence:

Of everyone on this list I'd say Krycek is the one I'm the most sure of. There is no doubt in my mind that Krycek was attracted to, perhaps even in love with, Fox Mulder. From the very beginning there appeared to be a bit of longing in his eyes.

There was the speedo scene wherein Krycek was definitely checking Mulder out. There were several scenes where Krycek could've killed Mulder but chose to help him instead.

As I've seen pointed out before, Krycek's crazy motivational choices don't make any sense at all unless it's all in an effort to be around Mulder more.

Look at his sense of style and his obvious love for lip gloss. I am not saying that straight men cannot love lip gloss and dress themselves in Krycek's fashion but it is uncommon and it was especially so back in the 90s

The infamous kiss in The Red and the Black could certainly be explained away as some kind of Russian custom but it isn't one that I am aware of and he hasn't really shown any other signs of his Russia heritage.

I would say my best evidence of Krycek's sexuality is in Essence and Existence, just look at the look on Krycek's face when Mulder trusts him to protect Scully. Krycek knows what Scully means to Mulder and then look at how seriously Krycek takes the job! I definitely feel like that moment meant a lot to him and he would have protected Scully with his life for Mulder.

There's also the fact that Krycek's unwillingness to kill Mulder lead to his own death.

Of course asking Skinner to shoot Mulder goes against this theory but I do have a couple thoughts on that, the most sensical being that he knew there was no chance Skinner would shoot Mulder and he probably knew there was no chance he would survive anymore. Maybe he made that request in hopes of sparing Mulder any pain he might have otherwise felt at his death (I know it's a bit of a stretch but my other theories require a long explanation of my thoughts on where the series had planned to go next)

The lone gunmen: no one knows....not even them

Three (I don't count Jimmy for this) single adult men who all live together in very cramped quarters and are, at least in Langley's case, perfectly happy to be around each other without thier clothes on certainly makes it seem like there's something between them all but I really don't get a overtly gay impression with any of them, even Langley who as mentioned doesn't like to wear pants and is the only one who hasn't had a love interest. They just have this sort of Vegas-esque thing. "What happens in the bachelor pad/newspaper room stays in the bachelor pad/newspaper room.

I would love to hear other people's thoughts on these and any other X-files characters you think might be somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum.

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palettepainter · 3 years

Note

Could I ask for some parent headcannons with Ectoloader? I’ve known of the ship but never seen art of them as parents. If no can I just have some headcannons of Haiya?

This ended up being mostly headcannons about Haiya and his relationship with some other students at UA and Ecto and Higari but a few at the start are Ectoloader

-Powerloader isn’t the most cleanest person. He has a little wash in the mornings, shaves if he needs too, and that’s it - off to work. With his job Powerloader often ends up a mess afterwards, even if he hasn’t used his quirk to go digging in the dirt. It gets hot in the design studio, and with Powerloader being stuck under that helmet all day he gets sweaty, and his hair becomes such a tangled mess, plus with his engineering he gets muck on his hands and trousers. Since no body really visits the design studio (besides students) Powerloader doesn’t really keep up appearances, unless of course theres some big meeting in which case he’ll clean up a little. Ectoplasm has tried to get Higari to take better care of his apperance such as taking a shower or a bath once in a while but Powerloader doesn’t really see the point in it - more times then either will admit but Ecto has had to chase Higari round the house just so he can take a damned bath. Ectoplasm may have a lot of clones but Higari has a lot of strength, plus being smaller he can find much more places to hide. Ectoplasm either gives up, manages to drag Higari to the bathroom, or compromises and joins Higari

-Based off an Ectoplasm x Powerloader story I read but Ectoplasm is ticklish. Higari discovered this accidentally when the two where cuddling and his hand brushed over Ectoplasm’s ribs making him stiffen and squeak. Ectoplasm had hoped Higari wouldn’t think too much of this, but he was wrong. Very wrong. Powerloader is a sneaky little weasel and has found through testing his theory that tickling Ectoplasm is one of the fastest ways to get him to unwind, and with Powerloaders added strength he has no issue wrestling Ectoplasm so that he can tickle him.

Higari isn’t as ticklish as Ectoplasm, but his weak points are his neck and ears. Ectoplasm had a suspicion that might be the case since his ears and neck are always covered by that scruffy mane of hair. One day the two where at home, Higari has pulled his hair into a loose ponytail that hung over one shoulder, leaving his neck open for attack. Ectoplasm watched him for a moment, before very lightly tickling his neck. Higari full on jumped at the unexpected tickling attack, actually surprising Ectoplasm, who hadn’t expected that great of a reaction. Needless to say Ectoplasm enjoyed getting his revenge

-When Hatsume is over she becomes Powerloaders right hand in the design studio, and while she still is prone to blowing up the occasional machine every now and then Higari sees explosions and fires in the studio as just a regular start to a morning. Higari has come to just expect something to blow up when he goes into work, if sometimes doesn’t it’s a miracle. Ectoplasm doesn’t take Higari’s warnings on Hatsume’s inventions all that seriously, she’s just passionate about her work. One day, say their anniversary or something, Ectoplasm and Higari had planned to go out for the evening and thus needed someone to watch Haiya. All the other teachers where busy but in the end Ectoplasm manages to find a sitter and the two leave. While having dinner Higari casually asks who it was Ectoplasm found to watch Haiya, in which he replies Hatsume.

Cue Higari spitting out his drink - If Hatsume is watching Haiya then who’s watching Hatsume?!

They end up going home an hour early and return to find their home untouched, totally fine. Higari has a moment of stunned silence before doing a double take and looking round the home.The only problem they found was that Haiya was up a little late, that was it. Higari was still suspicious but Ectoplasm thanks Hatsume regardless. It’s only two hours later when Higari finds no hidden broken object or exploded oven does he awkwardly admit that Ectoplasm was right, and then apologizes for ruining their anniversary dinner. The two end up having a small make out on the sofa (At this point Haiya was in bed) and then counting said make out in the bedroom.

The next morning Higari lumbers to the kitchen to make a coffee..only to find the coffee pot broken.

Powerloader made Hatsume but him a new one

-Hatsume and Iida end up having a kid, and dear old Powerloader was the very first to know, by that I mean Hatsume just showed up a work with a baby after he was born making Powerloader choke on air because ‘HATSUME YOU BROUGHT A BABY TO THE DESIGN STUDIO?!’ - Powerloader isn’t bad with kids but he’s no Merry Poppins, but he was at least smart enough to know a baby of all things didn’t belong in a design studio. Dealing with one Hatsume was hard enough, and now he had a mini Hatsume crawling about the place. Powerloader ends up roped into babysitting becasue Powerloader was not letting Hatsume’s machines do the babysitting while she was gone somewhere. Dear little Tensai (Iida named his kid after his brother) grows up loving Powerloader and, to Powerloader’s relief, is less prone to blowing things up. Powerloader is dubbed ‘Grunkle’ by Tensai, a combo of Uncle and Grandad. Higari tried to get him to call him one or the other, and failed miserably. Ectoplasm finds the name quite sweet and can’t help but snicker at it

-Before meeting Ectoplasm Haiya was nervous about the topic of his arms, even with prosthetics he saw his lack of arms as a failure - his view on this was caused mostly by his biological parents, if they had raised him in a better way Haiya wouldn’t have grown to be as sensitive about it. Ectoplasm was called in by Eri who runs a therapy center in my NGAU. Haiya was brought to the center along with Kowai and Furu (I know I haven’t done as much stuff with Furu so to anyone who’s new she’s another MHAOC who goes on to be adopted by Bakugo and Sero) as orphans. With no biological or adoptive parents the three stayed at the center while Eri and other staff helped in their recovery. Whereas Furu was more defensive and hostile Haiya was more nervous, he didn’t (and still doesn’t) have an issue with heroes, but his low self confidence has led to him being somewhat anti social, it can be hard for him to start conversations with new people, especially adults or people he looks up too. Ectoplasm was a big help in boosting Haiya’s confidence, so much that by the time students where allowed to apply for courses at UA Haiya was given the opportunity to study there. With Eri’s parents (Aizawa and Mic adopted her) working at UA Eri is able to give kids at the center the opportunity to go to a proper school when she feels they have progressed enough to fit in with a school environment, and when their are spaces available on certain course

He was given the choice to be on the hero course, with his quirk it was likely he’d pass the entrance exam. Though Haiya himself has no issue with hereos or those who decide they want to be a hero, Haiya no longer wishes to be one, his old parents didn’t really give him much of a choice for his career, so Haiya decided instead to apply for general studies, so that he could explore his own interests.

-Haiya doesn’t like Jin. Jin is another OC who goes to UA and is in class 1B on the hero course. Jin is in short an ass, he’s coy and rude and will say whats on his mind, even if it’s impolite. Jin has a knack for hitting people where it hurts, since joining UA he’s gotten better with his attitude but he’s still got a long way to go. Haiya’s kind of scared of him to an extent so tends to avoid him. He’s disliked Jin ever since he made an arm joke

Jin: Hey Haiya

Haiya: Hm?

Jin: Mind lending me a hand?

Haiya:....Banned

Jin: What?

Haiya: That joke is BANNED!

-Haiya’s attitude can sometimes come off as overbearing. He’s very over the top and easily excitable, which can lead to people thinking of him as annoying or stupid. Haiya attends counselling with Hounddog to help with his anxiety, and he also writes stuff down in a book, he finds writing down his thoughts and feelings easier then talking. Haiya can be mature and chill when he wants to or if it’s needed, but that’s often rare. Haiya acts more childish then most kids his age because he didn’t really get a very fun childhood with his bio parents, he’s trying to make up for lost time

-Haiya has dyslexia, this is still something I’m learning to write about accurately so if anyone has any tips on how to write a character well with dyslexia let me know. In Haiya’s case he has difficulty reading and interpreting words and letters, and when Haiya was little and was in a public school, it deeply affected his learning. His parents thought home schooling would be better for him, but it just lead to Haiya becoming more anxious over his own intelligence. Due to this Haiya can be reluctant to try something new and sometimes needs encouragement from a friend, he also has a fear of failure so when he does pick up a new hobby he does genuinely try to give it his all. Praise gives him a lot of confidence so words of encouragement do a lot to his confidence.

Before Haiya went to UA he along with others at the center got some school education. The center did classes for certain subjects over the weekdays and did stuff like small tests and gave out homework pieces for them to complete in their own time. Eri uses these classes to decide which kids would be better off going to a propper school, and which ones need more help then others. Haiya was one of the kids that needed some help with his work due to his dyslexia. Eri put two and two together when she brought Haiya aside to talk about his progress and he ended up admitting how he has difficulty with reading sometimes

-Before his arms where removed Haiya had both his mothers quirk, Overclock, and his fathers quirk, A quirk that allowed him to speed up or slow down the movement of an object based on touch with electricity he generated from his body - the draw backs to this quirk being that to generate the electricy he had to sacrifice his on energy. The more he generated the more tired he’d get.

With his arms gone his second quirk was also gone, so he only has Overclock now - however he can still use his second quirk, just in a different way. With his quirk Overclock Haiya can generate big amounts of electricity in seconds, I’m still planning on how Haiya discovers this as he himself isn’t aware he can do this, but the draw back to the quirk is that it’s essentially an instant knock out both for himself and his opponent. Generating large amounts of electricity all at once and so suddenly severely drains him of his energy, so it’s a guarantee when he does use this quirk that he’ll pass out shortly afterwards until he has better control over it.

#headcannons #MHA #BNHA #Ectoloader #Ectoplasm #Powerloader #Haiya #MHA OC #My OC

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ao3gingerswag · 3 years

Text

Learning

Prompt Submission by modernurbanfantasy:

I would love some sort of future situation (if/when) Dean, Cas and Sam when they are back at the inn around how smart Sam is. Like we know how smart Sam is (and I think Dean probably does as well) and he wants to get Sam some education (in the church or in some local school) but that is obviously v difficult. So he is all sad thinking about what he would need to do to get Sam into a school and is trying to hide it from Case and then like idk Bobby or something is able to help get Sam some sort of deal with the local school bc they see how smart and talented he is. Idk just an idea.

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE OUTSIDE

To: Pastor Murphy

My name is Sam and I am 10 years old. I saw your pamflet on the phisics of momentem posted on the church bulitin borde. I liked it a lot. I am writing to you becase I think you made a mistake tho. You cubed the largest side of the triangel when I think you meant to square it. If you square it it solves the problem you were talking about. I tride to go in to tell you but the man at the door said no I cant come in becase theres no church today and only the students can go in. And I dont go to the college. I tride to say I need to see you becase you made a mistake and tride to show him but he said i dont know what your talking about. So I am writing this note and leaving it here on the borde for you.

Thank you.

-Sam

Dear Sam,

In all the years I have posted my articles on the church bulletin, I have not once received a response from the local population. I have always continued to post them regardless, just in case anyone is reading them. I was so happy to discover that my efforts have not entirely been in vain.

I have received several letters from my colleagues since the publication of my paper pointing out my error, but none have been so polite as yours. Did you know, none of my own students caught the mistake you so kindly made me aware of? Authority is the bane of progress, I often think, as it seems since I took my position none but the few others in similar positions dare to question whatever I say.

Sam, I am delighted that Whitecreek is blessed with a child as inquisitive and bright as you. It is not often that I meet ten year olds who are interested in physics, much less those who can follow my published papers. If you like physics, I would be happy to meet with you and your parents this coming Sunday to discuss the subject and the possibility of furthering your education.

I am leaving this note with the guard you spoke to last week, and have asked him to give you this letter if he sees you again. If you have another letter for me, you can leave it with him and he will pass it along. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

Sorry I didnt come to the church Sunday I didnt get your letter until now. I dont live in whitecreek we only come once a month to get suplies. I live at the inn outside of whitecreek they call it the willow inn becase it is near a willow tree. Maybe you have heard of it maybe not if you dont travel.

I like everything not just phisics I like biolagy and astranomy and math and I like reading and I like learning and I like looking at bugs and plants and things in the woods. My dad didnt like it when i read tho becase he didnt know how and he said do you think your better than me. I said no but he still got mad at me. But I dont live with him anymore.

I really like learning a lot. I would like to meet you and talk about phisics and other things but I dont have parents I just have Dean and Cas. They run the inn and I help them. They said I can meet with you but Cas said to tell you that we have no money for school becase he said maybe you think I’m rich becase I can read and write but we are not rich. I learned to read by myself becase I like it. So I cant go to school and cant further my educatin like you said but I would still like to meet with you please if you want to.

Do you have any books I could look at? I like books but no one has any books. Cas has a book and he let me read it but I read it like a hundred times now and memerized it. If you have any books I could look at I would be very gratful and I would not mess them up I would be very careful. But if you dont have books or dont want me to look at them thats ok i understand i would still like to meet you please. I have a lot of questins. Like is the moon hot or cold. And lots of other things. I used to ask my dad but he yelled at me and sometimes he hit me i think especially when he didnt understand the questin.

It is better now becase Dean was always nice to me and listened to my questins and Cas I dont know him so well yet but he is nicer than dad and he hasnt gotten mad at me for asking questins yet. He says you are very smart Sam and it is good to ask questins which is nice. But even tho Dean and Cas let me ask questins alot they sometimes know the answer but usually they dont. They say you know more than me Sam. I think I do know more than them but only becase they dont know how to read I think everyone could learn everything if they just knew how to read. Thats how i learn things.

Please let me know if you still want to meet with me even tho I didnt see your letter in time. The guard said you are not here today becase you are at a lectchure about math in a diffrent city that is so exciting maybe you can tell me about it when you come back. I will be here again in four weeks I will come and maybe I can see you or maybe there will be another letter eether way thank you I am so happy.

-Sam

To: Sam, ten years old. Willow Inn, outside of Whitecreek.

Dear Sam,

I was truly overjoyed to receive your most recent correspondence. I had worried that I had scared you off or that your interest in science had faded. Clearly, these were merely the fears of an old man, who has become a bit too paranoid in his old age. I have in fact heard of the Willow Inn, and in fact I have stayed at it a few times when traveling that direction for a conference or a lecture. It has been a few years since I last had the pleasure of receiving their hospitality, but I had thought it was run by only a man and his son, who was about 13 at the time. Has the inn changed hands, since I was last there? Or has my faulty memory yet again betrayed my years?

In any case, I have sent a courier with this letter to the inn, in order to avoid missing you yet again when you again make your way into town. Sam, I am absolutely still interested in meeting you, regardless of your financial situation. Your literacy and thirst for knowledge is made all the more impressive by your lack of formal education. I will happily share all the resources I have with you, if you would like to learn. The college’s library has many books on all of the subjects you have expressed interest in. We have collections on physics, biology, astronomy, math, and several thousand others. All of these can be made available to you, and if you are as careful as you promise you will be, you can borrow almost any of them and take them home with you for the month. I would be happy to meet with you and discuss your readings when you make your regular trip to town, and could suggest which books you may want to start with, and which to continue with once you have studied those.

I am sorry that you have had difficulty in the past when you have tried to express your curiosity. Unfortunately there are many in the world who don’t care for knowledge, and resent those of us who seek it. I am glad to hear that you are now living with people who are more understanding of your interests, ignorant though they might be of them. I must say that I am struck by your optimism regarding the natural learning capabilities of the general population. I strongly agree with your statement, which I have quoted here because it means so much to me: “I think everyone could learn everything if they just knew how to read.” This is an opinion which I have always agreed with, and have been trying to convince many of my colleagues of for most of my long career. I am glad we are of the same mind in this area.

In answer to your question: Unfortunately, no one knows for sure if the moon is hot or cold. The prevailing theory currently is that it is cold. The reasoning here is that we are fairly certain it is made of stone, and stone is cold unless otherwise heated. In the absence of an internal heat source, we assume the moon is likely cold to the touch. However, we cannot know this for sure without knowing exactly what it is made of and how this material would be affected by the heat of our sun at its current level of exposure. Perhaps when you grow up, you will be able to figure this out for us.

I look forward to hearing your other questions when we meet, and I of course will be happy to share what I learned at my conference with you. If I am correctly understanding your schedule, I believe you will be in town again two Wednesdays from when this letter should reach you. I will be at the church from dawn to dusk on that day. The guard will know to let you and your family into the building, and we can discuss the possibility of further meetings then. Please give my best to your family, and I wish you the best until then.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

I asked the man to wait for a minit so I can write a letter back and he said he would but I cant take forever he said so I wont. I am so excited to meet you in two weeks I am going to write all of my questins down. I am so excited to see your books I am so excited to learn. Cas said we can all come meet you together and then they will go do shoping and I can stay if thats ok or Dean can stay with me if you want. That is so intresting about the moon i didnt think about that thank you for explaneing. I will be so careful with your books if you let me take them home and I will read anything you say I should I will be good and learn fast and you will be happy you let me learn I promise I will be good and you will not regrat it. Thank you I am so excited sorry this is mesy and there are stains I am crying a lot. I would wait to write later but the man wants me to hurry up. I used to dig in the trash to find anything with words on it to read and Dean would let the man at the church do bad things to him so he could bring me pamflets sometimes. I said dont do that but he did anyway and I was always so happy to get them even tho I said dont do that. Which I felt bad about but I still read the pamflets. Anyway if you let me take lots of books home I will learn everything and I will read to Dean and Cas so they can lean too and I will be very happy. I am so excited thank you I will see you in two weeks.

p.s. i forgot to say. Cas’s dad died and now he runs the inn with Dean who is my friend.

-Sam

To: Sam Winchester, ten years old, of brown hair and brown eyes. Willow Inn, outside of Whitecreek.

Dear Sam,

I have sent the courier along once again with this letter. The suggested coursework I promised you is enclosed. I also again wanted to express how wonderful it was to meet you and your family, and how excited I am to have such a bright young man under my tutelage. Your questions were delightful, and I can only hope that I have answered them to your satisfaction.

Please do reiterate to your friend Dean that it was lovely to meet him as well, and that he will always be welcome in my church regardless of the content of his past.

I look forward to seeing you all again in person next month, and wish you the best until that time comes.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Sam :)

#ao3gingerswag #asks #prompts #submissions #learning #wander home

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thewritingstar · 4 years

Text

Until My Heart Stops Racing

Pairing: Mitch x Mike (or Bitch as I like to call them, ya know cause Believe x Mitch.....nvm lol)

Fandom: The Powerpuff Girls

Note: This was a commission for the wonderful @lisathefan who gave me the cutest prompt and I know she loves her crack ships. I hope you enjoy my dear and thanks to my beta, Faxx for helping me!

Word count: 5538

---

The car whipped into the parking space, dirt flying around us and I felt my heart rate finally go back to its normal beating. I looked over to Butch who had a goofy grin and ignoring everything he just did.

“Butch your driving is terrible. Now I get why you fly everywhere.” I groaned as I finally got out of the car. “I swear if Brick saw how you drove this thing... actually I don’t want to think about it.” I thought that speeding was illegal but apparently if the cops can’t even see your car, it's a free pass. And being in touch with the puffs might be a bonus we all have.

Butch let out a laugh before locking the car. “Relaxe Mike, what Brick doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” He shrugged and sometimes I wondered how he could even say that. Brick could kill someone with just a glance but when you are a superhuman, and his brother, maybe the effect doesn’t work.

Maybe I should ask Blossom about that.

The beeping of other cars brought me out of my trance as I followed him on the dirt path.

“Anyways, why did you drag me all the way out here?” I turned to see the lights and the signs. “The fair?”

In front of me was the entrance to what could only be deemed as a somehow legal way to make people shell out three hundred dollars on cheap food and even cheaper ride systems. Every kid wanted to go to the fair and, yeah, it was fun when you were five, but now that we had just graduated high school, it seemed more dangerous than fun.

“Yeah, why not?”

I glanced at him and he only smiled widely but something in his eyes had mischief written all over it. “What's the deal?”

He sighed and smirked.

“A little birdy told me you got heart eyes for a certain someone.” Butch threw his arm around my shoulder. “And as the king of romance, I’m gonna help you out.”

Theres always a small tinge of fear whenever Butch gets an idea. It either ends badly where someone gets hurt, usually him or bad in the way that we all get in trouble and the notorious Powerpuff Girls have to get us out of it. But this...this was much worse.

“Butch, what did you do?” I said through gritted teeth. He only laughed at me instead of answering and pushed up towards the gates.

“Relax. Look they are here.” He pointed.

I followed his sight and walking up towards us was Buttercup, Robin and Mitch. Butch let out another laugh, probably because he could hear my heartbeat. Fuck superhearing. Of course Robin opened her mouth. You tell a girl while you’re throwing up that you have the biggest crush on your best friend who wears dark leather, has piercings and makes your heart swoon and think that she can keep her mouth shut. But no, she can’t.

“Hey guys.” Butch waves to him before leaving me to wrap his arms around Buttercup and ignore the public by kissing her square on the lips. PDA is always gross unless you’re the one doing it, so I can’t blame them. Also it's funny to watch her smack his arm.

“Sup Mikey.” Robin smiles smugly. Little demon.

“Hey. Hi Mitch.” He gives me a wave and a nod of the head and I have to mentally tell myself not to blush. Stupid hormons.

“Come on you two.” Robin says and grabs my arm and Mitch’s and forces us towards the carnival’s entrance. “Lets go!”

One of the perks to being besties with the puffs is the mass amount of freebies. Buttercup swiftly pulled out a ticket for each of us and handed it to the ticket collector.

“Sweet, free entrance.” Mitch smiled at me and held up his hand for a fist bump.

I gladly returned the gesture and every time I did so, I wondered if he could feel the electric spark between us. God, I need to stop reading romance novels.

“Alright losers. We’ll see you all later tonight, meet up for fireworks at 9?” Buttercup said and apparently everyone already had a plan that I was not aware of.

“Sounds good to me!” Butch smirked. “BC and I are going to do coupley stuff no one wants to see and Robin said something about henna soooooo.” He looked at me. “Guess Mitchy boy and Mikey are on their own.” I didn’t miss his wink and before I could protest, everyone was walking away.

My mind was now racing as I tried to comprehend what was happening. I realized in this moment that the group had ganged up on us, well specifically me. Mitch probably didn’t even think twice as the group broke up but they were out of their minds if they thought something was going to happen.

“Wanna hit the rides?” He asked.

I take a breath before nodding. We turn into the direction of the ride area and I have to remind myself that he is just a friend. A friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I usually have my emotions in check but for some reason, they want to act up now. All I have to do is get through tonight without embarrassing myself or giving Butch the satisfation of him being the king of romance. As if that were possible.

The area is buzzing with so much energy. There’s little kids whining and screams coming from the various rides. The smells of corn dogs, popcorn and, oddly enough, waffles mixed in the air and I can’t tell if it smells good or not but I know my pockets are gonna be much lighter by the end of the night.

We get into the shortest line for the tickets and it's truly a scam that each ride is a separate cost.

“I don’t feel like dying tonight so I think two rides is good for me.” Mitch says and I laugh a little because it's true. Just watching the swings makes me feel like one of them unhinge and plummet to the ground but that's what I get for being a paranoid person.

“I feel you. How about the rollercoaster and ummm... the spinning ride?” I suggest.

“Sounds good to me.” He smiles and god fucking dammit, those damn dimples.

The line moves as we chat about the newest horror movie coming into theaters and how Mitch saw a certain pair of redheads making out in a car.

“Wait for real?”

“I swear to god dude.” He raised his hand. “Unless some other chick wears a big ass bow, it has to be them.”

“Interesting.” I smile and soon we get called next.

“Hi there boys, how many tickets can I get ya?” the older woman asks.

“Ten.” Mitch says and I reach into my pocket to grab my wallet, that may or may not have a photo of all of our friends and definitely not for the reason that I can see his face at any given time, but Mitch stops me and places the cash in the tin. “I got it.” he says casually and something inside me felt all warm and fuzzy as the row of blue tickets was handed to him.

“Have a nice date night.” The woman says as we walk away and I almost do a double take thinking I heard her wrong. But when I look over to Mitch, he seems unaffected by the words so I just let it slide.

The rollercoaster isn’t as grand or cool as the ones at the theme park, it doesn’t even go upside down but it has a good bit of hills and bumps to give some air time so i guess it will do. The only problem is that these workers don’t care and make Mitch and I sit in the same cart as these two younger kids.

After we get the bars onto us, the ride starts to go. In front of us the girl grabs the boy's arm and I give a small eye roll as we start to climb the lift hill.

“Babe I'm scared.” She cries and he wraps an arm around her shoulders and I’ve never been so jealous of middle schoolers before.

“These carts are so damn small.” Mitch complains. And it's true. The two of us squished in this together leaves no space for our arms. The pressure of our shoulders touching isn’t too bad but it's to the point it almost hurts. “Hold on.” He says and I feel him pull his right arm away from mine and throw it behind us. “Sorry this is better.”

“No, it's cool bro.” I say even though I realize that this boy really just made it ten times harder to breath now.

I can barely grasp my surroundings as the rollercoaster takes its first turn before the drop. I can see the ending of the track as we go down but the only thing my brain is processing is the fingers tightening on my shoulder.

“Holy shit.” I mumble hoping that Mitch doesn’t know how he's affecting me.

We let out screams and shouts as we go up and down, flying around on the track and I try to enjoy myself, I really do. Before long, it's over and Mitch reaches his hand out to help me up and I take it with silence.

“That was fun.” He smiles and I am really happy he ignored his moms protests and got that lip piercing. It suits him.

“Yeah.” Is all I can muster and he gives me a look before walking towards the next ride.

Luckily as we enter this ride, there’s more room. Only our knees touch as we buckle in the seatbelt and I feel myself being able to breathe better.

“Good thing we didn’t eat before getting on here.” I laugh as the lights start to flash.

He snorts and nods. “Robin would have blown chunks either way.”

The ride is a simple circular track with small hills. All it does is follow the path and goes around pretty fast. Simple but a classic. The music begins and soon we feel the cart shift. I'm sitting on the right while Mitch is on the left, next to the exit and he wiggles off his black beanie just for good measure. His light brown hair, slightly damaged from dying it black back in freshman year, is ruffled from hat hair and my god is it cute.

“Fucking love this ride.” Mitch smiles and it begins to pick up the pace.

Soon, we are at full speed, which is fine. Perfectly fine. Except for the fact that the gravity from the ride is pulling me towards Mitch and no matter how tight I hold on, I end up smacked against him. Shoulders touching and I can clearly smell his cologne. It's the scent of sandalwood and campfire and my god does it smell heavenly. Men just smell like nature and I am more than okay with that.

But Mitch doesn’t mind, because why would he? Instead he's laughing and truly enjoying the ride. I smile and laugh too because honestly, it's just fun to spend time with him. The ride is over faster than I wanted and we hop off, slightly dizzy and I walk a little out of line but he catches my arm and pulls me to him.

“Easy dude.” He chuckles and I nudge him playfully and ruffle his hair before he plops on his beanie. Goodbye cute hat hair.

All of a sudden, my shoulder is hit. It was a pretty hard smack and my body jolted to the side as Mitch grabbed me from falling.

“Look a bunch of homos.” I look up and realize that it's some assholes from our school.

Duke Jones and Mark Dalton. Some of the few people who actually try to be douchebags on the regular.

My eyes do heavy eye rolls and I want to scream at them but I've never been a confronting person. My voice is in my throat but Mitch takes a step forward, his hand never leaving my arm.

“And what of it? Really dudes? You think some lame insult is gonna hurt our feelings. You’re lucky I don’t just kick your ass, better enough I can call Buttercup in a second and have your bodies all the way across this place. Grow the fuck up and maybe don’t choke on your toxic masculanity.” He sneered and sometimes I forget that Mitch can be pretty intimidating.

Their eyes widened as Mitch pulled out his phone to show BC’s number. They mutter something before turning and rushing off in a hurry.

“You okay?” He asks me.

“Yeah.” I say. “Sorry you got caught in that.”

“It's not a big deal.”

But it is. It's not a secret that I'm out and proud. Yeah its cool and all to not have to be closeted, even Princess came out last year so its nice to know that someone higher up won’t pick on me, but even then, it sucks. No matter where I go in life, someone will be there with a flame thrower of slurs or anger for something I didn’t choose. As for Mitch, theres something about him being called gay and him not having a hissy fit about it that makes me feel safe. Uhh fuck.

I take a second to recollect myself and Mitch just pulls me from the herds of eyes that saw that fiasco.

“Lets go here.” He points to the hall of mirrors and for some reason it's beginning to get extremely hard to be around him.

But I take a deep breath and push those feelings to the side once again.

The hall of mirrors was by far the lamest thing the fair could have done. Sure, as a little kid it was cool and slightly scary but now, all of our heads could see just above the tips of the mirrors making it lose the effect. It probably would have been more fun if the others were there. Butch would hide behind the mirros trying to scare us before Buttercup sent some lasers his way causing them to bounce everywhere and making us duck and cover. Good times. However, it was just Mitch and me.

While Mitch was walking, I couldn’t stop thinking about those jerks just now. Of course everyone already knew about my preference but Mitch seemed unbothered by being referred to as gay. Probably because he's not some asshole that thinks it's a bad thing, I mean if he did, why would he be friends with me for all this time? He’s just a good person, that's all.

Not to sound like the coming of age kid, but I knew I was into dudes before I could comprehend the idea of love or romance, I just thought they were pretty to look at. Moving to a new city at such a young age was hard for me, not to mention the whole invisible friend that tried to kill everyone. But after everything was said and done, I did in fact make some friends.

The famous superheroes had become my pals and when Buttercup introduced me to Mitch, I think that's when it all went downhill. We became the dynamic duo and everyone always paired us as the best friends, which is true but...it makes me feel guilty.

He turned a corner and I stopped walking. All of a sudden I was lost and staring at a mirror. Just me in my beat up sneakers and the uncertain face I seem to be wearing a lot lately. There's always a time in your life where you stop and contemplate everything, question all your decisions and how nothing truly matters.

“Hey you stopped walking?” Mitch said to me and I looked at him with a shaky smile.

“Sorry. Lost in thought I guess.”

“Care to share?” He asked and leaned against one of the mirrors.

I laughed to myself thinking about what I could possibly say. “Yeah sure Mitch, why don’t I just tell you that I’m in love with you and how it pains me to wake up to know that you will only see me as just a friend. Why don’t I just rip out my heart and put it on a silver platter for you to squash or just confess and kiss you here, ignoring all the states and hopefully pissing off some people?”

“...What?”

My eyes shot open and my eyes met his. He looked at me with confusion and shock. His mouth hung open slightly and it took me a solid three seconds to relaize that my dumb ass had just blurted that all out.

Panic. That's all I could feel as he stared like a deer caught in headlights. I could feel myself on the verge of tears and suddenly the air was too thick as I turned and ran, not caring about the employee telling me I was going the wrong way.

Mitch’s voice echoed behind me but I couldn’t stand to turn and look towards him. To hear the pure rejection and probably the disgust. Throwing away years of friendship for some stupid feelings? What was I thinking?

After nearly hitting my head several times, I made it out and ignored the weird stares and glances people were giving me. All I wanted to do was find Butch and get out of here and hope that I can just pack up and move away for college. Maybe even change my name.

Instead I found myself pushing my way into the bathroom stall and biting my arm to stifle my sobs. I felt like my heart was about to shatter, that all my nightmares where coming true all thanks to my stupid mouth. I was a fool to think that someone like him would even consider me as something more, a complete and utter fool.

“Mike?” A voice called and of course the sneakers peaking outside the stall belonged to Butch.

“What?” I spat bitterly. “Go away.”

I barely heard his sigh. “Dude, I don’t know what happened but suddenly Buttercup saw you burst into here. Really dude, is everything fine? At least come out and talk to us. Plus it smells really bad in here and there's a line of dudes.”

There's some truth to the matter and I wiped my face and pushed open the stall with a little too much force but luckily he grabbed it and just nodded towards the exit.

Robin and Buttercup are standing outside and luckily, I don’t see Mitch.

“Wanna explain what happened?” Robin asks as she hands me a tissue from her purse.

“No. I just wanna go home.”

Buttercup looks arounds then back to me. “Where's Mitch.”

“Probably somewhere and never wants to see me again.” I mumble.

“What?” She asks and looks towards Butch then back to me.

Butch raised his brow. “Mike, did you tell him?”

“Tell him what?” Buttercup asked.

It was at that moment that Buttercup didn’t know that I was practically in love with her best friend. Maybe Robin and Butch planned this together but it didn’t matter, not anymore. I would be losing two friends after this. Great.

“Look. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t feel the same way.” My throat is dry and it hurts and there's no doubt that my face is red and flushed with tears. “I'm just gonna call my mom to come get me.”

“Come on Mike don’t go.” Robin asked and she padded my arm.

“You don’t get it, Robin.” I spat. “You don’t understand what I just did. Thanks to someone’s dumb idea, I now lost my best friend. And for what? Did we really think he would like me back? That he could even see me in such a way? I don’t even know if he’s gay or let alone into dudes. But who gives fuck? I don’t.”

Butch took a step towards me but my anger only rose. “C’mon Mike I'm sure-”

“This was a stupid idea Butch!” I yelled and at that moment I didn’t care what anyone thought. I was embarrassed and hurt. “I just want to be alone.” I pushed past him and the others, ignoring everything they were saying because it didn’t matter any more.

It didn’t matter that my friends tried to help something that shouldn’t have even been considered. It was just a stupid crush. Nothing more, nothing less. Hopefully by the new semester, it would be gone and out of my system…. hopefully. A stupid crush that I’d been harboring for years and titling on a scale of something more.

It wasn’t long until my tears dried and I found myself among the section of carnival games. All of the rigged and hard to win and if you did win, it would be a small sappy prize that you would toss into a garbage bag or try to sell for a nickel at a garage sale.

There were darts and guessing the weight of a small pig. The basketball tossing and hitting the giant hammer looked tempting but instead I walked to the game that no one had ever won. Ring toss. A game of chance and so incredibly rigged, it's a miracle if one prize is won in a year.

Without a second thought, I gave up a fresh twenty dollar bill and the girl working, who clearly hated her job, handed me the biggest bucket of rings. Enough to keep me entertained until I call my mom or muster up enough courage to ask Butch for a ride back like a dog with its tail inbetween its legs.

I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I could be okay with this. But I was stupid. Stupid to think that the boy I had a crush on, one of my best friends, would like me back, or even be into dudes for that matter. But no, instead of having my secret crush kept, ya know, a secret, the one person who shouldn’t know, did.

I tossed another ring into the sea of bottles, the high pitched clinking echoed for just a moment as another was tossed. Maybe this was pointless. Maybe trying to figure out feelings was a waste of time because in all honesty, I never knew.

Like the plastic rings people pay way too much for, you jump and you think you’ll land on that bottle, secure the prize and show everyone up. Prove that you can do the impossible.

But then you miss and reality comes back. The bucket dwindles down and soon you’re left with nothing but regret for trying and shorting eight bucks.

“Hey.”

I turned, of course he would follow me. Why wouldn’t he? He was probably here just to tell me to let it go and sweep it under the rug, and say it's not weird when it totally is. Or he was going to come out and say that maybe our friendship has come to its expiration date.

“Oh. Hey.” I threw another one, missing again.

I tried not to care as he stood next to me but I passed him the bucket and he took his own shot, missing, just like me.

“Have you been crying?” He asked and there was no way around it.

“Yep.” I popped the p and threw another ring. “Look Mitch, I’m sorry what I said-”

“Don’t be.”.

“Most guys would just push someone like me away if that happened.”

He hummed and tossed a ring, missing. “Well, I’m not like most guys and I thought that was pretty clear. Especially after those jerks. I value your friendship too much to get worried or upset.”

I looked over at him, and that in itself was a mistake, because it would be just my luck that the other carnival games with their bright flashing lights would surround him and make it seem like he was glowing. The lights soften his features, a small twinkle on the black orb of his earring and making those very so light freckles appear.

Almost like a painting hung up in a museum. You think the trip is boring, and for the most part it is. A few interesting things here and there but just as you are about to leave, you find a room you hadn’t explored. It could be nothing and you could leave, forgetting everything in the last three hours and moving on with your life.

Or it could be life changing. As if when you walked in there, the most captivating painting was on that wall and you wonder how you skipped it in the first place. You stare at it, taking in the picture itself and the meaning. Stepping closer and looking at the paint strokes, the time taken to make this is clear and it's full of questions and mystery. The small plaque on the wall fails to answer.

He picked up the last ring. It twirled in his fingertips unsure of where to go.

“I kept thinking, you know.” He said. “I remember watching a show, a random cartoon and an ad for a pride festival popped up. I thought nothing of it, didn’t know what it meant at the time but my father did. He was outraged and changed the channel, screamed and shouted saying that if his son ever was caught doing something like that…” Mitch paused and closed his palm.

I could see the hurt in his eyes as he sighed.

“Then he would have no son. So when I found out what it all meant and learned about myself....I thought it would be best to never act on it. No matter how much I wanted to look towards another guy, I couldn’t.”

“I’m sorry Mitch, I didn’t know.” And it was the truth. I wanted to mentally slap myself for not realizing that he was, in fact, gay as well. Way to go Mike, your gay-dar is broken. But then again, you can’t just tell a sexuality clear as day. I can’t blame him for hiding it, after everything with his dad.

He sighed again. “But when you told me that. Told me you wanted me, I think I started to realize that I would rather have something I want no matter what others think of me. I envy how you can just come out and be proud, as you should, but I wish I was that brave instead of a coward.”

“Mitch.” I slid my hand on top of his cautiously. He didn’t flinch or have any indication of pulling away. “I’m scared every day. Scared that someone might yell something offensive or even try to hurt me. Just like those assholes did earlier.But I can’t stop those things from happening but I can choose to not let them affect me. It's hard but you know you’re surrounded by people who care about you. Plus your best friend is an actual superhero.”

“I know, I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to date such a fuck up like me.”

Fuck up? Did this boy really think that?

“I would never see you as that.” I said honestly. “It's normal for us to have conflicting feelings when someone in our life isn't supportive. It's never gonna be a walk in the park or smooth sailing but when you're with someone who cares about you, it makes it easier.”

He sighed for the hundredth time. It was clear the gears in his mind were running at full steam and he looked at the ring in his hand then to the bottles.

“I guess you’re right Mike. I guess I was thrown off that the dude I've liked since kindergarten likes me back.” He looked towards me and tossed the ring, not bothering to pay attention. “I just hope you haven't changed you mind-”

The next thing I know, my hand is tugging on his worn leather collar and his lips are pressed to mine.

I never thought that my first kiss would be as enchanting as this. You always think it's magical and fulfilling but in reality it's probably a mess of lips that don’t move quite as well and somehow there's a tongue doing whatever it wants. I guess I can’t count this as my first kiss because Robin had peaked me on the lips in third grade, also giving me the clear sexual awakening of how I never want another woman to come near me again, but this was different.

He tasted like cotton candy which I should find gross and oddly weird but I didn’t mind one bit. At the beginning there was a bit of hesitation, or maybe he was caught off guard since I did interrupt him but I couldn’t help myself. Stupid hormones. He wasted no time kissing me back and I even felt a hand on my waist pulling towards him. Although it lasted only a few mere seconds, it was like a lifetime of waiting had lifted.

When we pulled apart, loud speakers and alarms went off above us. I looked towards the game, I noticed one single plastic ring was stuck on the bottle. The worker smiled at us before nodding.

“Wow, I can’t believe you made it, especially without looking.” She said and I looked to Mitch who just shrugged.

“What? You kissed me, I just threw it.” He smiled brightly and I hugged him.

“So what will it be?” I asked him and he turned towards the prizes.

“Well, what about that dinosaur?”

“I love dinosaurs.”

Mitch smiled. “I know.”

The worker used a ladder to climb and retrieve the massive blue dinosaur prize. As a kid, i used to dream of winning such a cool thing but know, I think I got something better. Mitch handed it to me with a blush and I looked at it with just as much pink on my cheeks.

“Ya know.” Mitch started. “I have enough tickets for one last ride. Maybe the ferris wheel?”

“That sounds good.” He reached out his hand and I took it. Before I could blink, I felt his lips press against my cheek.

“I don’t like to see you cry.” He said.

I simply hummed and we walked hand in hand to the ferris wheel before deciding to give the prize to some kids. He handed the tickets to the worker as we climbed into the cart and began to go up. He threw his arm over my shoulder like he did on the rollercoaster, but this time, I leaned against him and let those emotions I tried to keep at bay, run wild.

“I’m really glad Butch dragged me here.” I said honestly and Mitch only laughed and silenced me with his lips pressed against mine.

“Me too.”

When we pulled apart, a few questions still lingered in my mind.

“You mean, you’ve liked me this entire time? And you knew I was gay?” I asked hesitantly. It wasn’t a secret, the last part at least.

He scratched the back of his neck, a nervous tick he's had since he was little. “I mean I wasn’t hundred percent sure, I thought maybe it was a one time thing or just happened occasionally. But as we got older, more specifically high school, I think that's when it hit me.” He sighed. “All I knew was that I wanted to be with you until my heart stopped racing.”

His eyes met mine. I’ve always hated when people didn’t see the beauty in brown eyes. They think they are dull and lifeless, only one hue but that's far from the truth. Mitch’s eyes had spots of gold and a slight tint of green, breathtaking to say the least.

“I mean it’s a shame we spent our high school years just as friends.” My hand went on top of his. “But I’d rather have you as my friend instead of losing you so I understand. But what about your dad? Will be okay with us dating-or well I assume we should-”

“I don’t care about his opinion of us. Plus we would be idiots not to date at this point. If he doesn’t accept. That's his loss not mine.” His gaze went to the sky where a firework exploded.

The colors lit up in the sky and we realized we got lucky as our cart stopped at the very top. It felt unreal to be sitting next to my best friend and now, boyfriend. There's always moments in your life that you feel like were meant to be. Maybe it's the career you chose or the person you marry. Milestones that are already set in stone and fate just happens to bring you together, all that stuff. And as I looked at him through heavy lashes I thought that maybe, just maybe, the stars aligned on this one.

That or I would have to admit that Butch is the king of romance, even though he did literally nothing today and this was all me. Either way, Mikey boy’s got a man.

I hope you enjoyed love!!

#Mitch x mike #mike x Mitch ppg #ppg #ppg fic #fanfic commissions

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tuffdwightwest · 4 years

Text

You Are My Best Friend Ch. 1

"Snotlout!" Gobbers voice rang out right before a hooked hand smacked a piece of metal. Startling Snotlout back awake as he cried out in fear, forgetting briefly where he was.

Seeing the familiarity of the forge though, his cry quickly turned into a groan as he crossed his arms meeting Gobbers gaze. "What? Can't a viking get a little shut eye around here?" He complained.

"Not when you are working with me, boyo. Perhaps you would like to work on the next shipment of maces needed instead of the meager, sharpen these axes job I have going for ya." Gobber responded. Turning away from the Jorgenson as he went back to what Snotlout assumed was forging some new maces.

For a months now, Snotlout had taken over Hiccups old job in the forge. Working as a second hand to Gobber. He had been promised the 'Official Weapon Tester Position' but that was clearly not the case. In fact the other Riders had a good laugh as even his father piped in and agreed that it would teach him some humility.

If Snotlout's life was a fable this chapter would be called the dark years. Still mumbling he still went back to work as he focused on sharpening the blade. Trying to ignore Gobbers off-key singing as he silently cursed Hiccup's name. As they were nearing being finished however Gobber piped up with something that actually caught his interest.

"-ading off with her cousin Lars to the Northern Markets. With that Zippleback with her, I bet she'll come back with more gold then she could carry!" Gobber boasted with a laugh.

"Uh who? What's going on?" Snotlout cut in having missed the beginning of whatever Gobber was speaking about.

"Ruffnut. She is trying to become a Trader of all things and for a few weeks she'll be training with her Cousin Lars on the business." He explained. Snotlout blinked in surprise at this. Of course he knew that both the twins were planning on trying different avenues for professions, something that their family had been harping on them about, both had been adamant on saying that they were Dragon Riders and that was what they would stay. Although now apparently it seemed that Ruffnut was going to try being a merchant?

"Uh when did she leave?" He asked.

"Just this morning; well done!" Gobber said before quickly switching into something else as he noticed Snotlout for once actually finish his work. Looking down Snotlout hadn't even noticed he was on the last sword. Grinning he set it aside, feeling mighty pleased with himself as he stood.

"This mean I can go?" He questioned.

"Gah, yes! Get more work done without having to deal with your moping anyway." Gobber complained although he still had a small smirk. Excited Snotlout turned to leave as he practically raced out of the Forge.

It wasn't dusk yet and the sun was still decently in the sky which left him a good four hours to actually have some fun for once. Usually he would go straight to Hookfang and the two would go flying together but today he actually veered off course as he remembered the conversation he was just having with Gobber. He was actually kind of curious about why Ruff chose to do that and he figured Tuffnut would be the best one to ask.

After all, he still was gearing for Ruffnuts love and her suddenly up and leaving was quite a shock for him. He thought they were finally getting somewhere!

With those indignant thoughts he found himself in front of the Nuts house. It was further back on the island and looked like it needed its fair share of repairs. With cracks lining the walls and even a few smashed windows. The chicken coop behind the house actually giving a kind of unpleasant odor. Come to think of it. Snotlout had never really visited the twins at their house and at this moment, he kind of wished he still hadn't.

Just as he was about to knock on the door, a squeal sounded from behind him. Turning he came face to what appeared to be a very angry boar. The animal stomping on the ground as it glared at what it deemed an unwelcome trespasser. "Uh... nice boar." Snotlout mumbled trying to calm the animal as he held out his hands, trying to make himself less threatening. The boar however just stomped the ground again, shaking its burly head as it gave a loud snort.

Then with a roar the animal started to rush Snotlout. Screaming out in terror, Snotlout went to move out of the way but before he could he was suddenly pushed to the side as something shot out from behind him. Not suspecting it he fell back on his ass but at least now he could identify Tuff as the twin rode on the Boars back, laughing and giggling as the beast tried to buck him off.

Just as Snotlout was starting to get concerned, the boar finally started to calm as Tuffnut finally jumped off. "Next time. Lets do that in the boar pit okay Bjorn. Also! Good pig telling us when theres strange men at the house." Tuffnuts voice rang out as he petted the boar behind the ears. The once angry animal just snorted as it sniffed at the twins hair, Tuffnut without a helmet, before it started to trot off.

Standing up Tuffnut brushed himself off before crawling up the steps and standing next to Snotlout. His eyes alight with amusement as he looked down at him. Realizing that Snotlout still hadn't gotten back up, he cursed before scrambling to his feet. "Why is there an angry boar guarding your house?" He scoffed already angry at what just happened.

"Why not?" Tuff responded. The retort Snotlout had was lost in the absurdity of that so instead he just threw his hands up, thinking of many reasons why not to have a boar guarding your house. Visitors being maimed being one of them. Before he could though Tuff beat him too it.

"You need something? Not to cut off your imminent rant but none of you have ever come to our house before. Unless its overhead, on dragon and you are yelling at us to get Barf and Belch cause Svens sheep got out again." Tuff explained, "Although still, its not usually you." He added looking at Snotlout warily.

Ignoring it though Snotlout shrugged, "I heard Ruff left and I just came to find out why. I thought you two weren't gonna go through with your tribes demands?" He said jumping right into it. Tuff looked surprised for a moment before he just shrugged, his whole body moving with the effort. Instead of answering though he just gestured Snotlout to follow him inside. Although Snotlout really didn't want to know what the interior looked like, he still followed.

"We weren't initially but Mom convinced Ruff to trail along with Lars. She said she actually enjoyed it so... yeah she's gonna try to be a Merchant or whatever." Tuff said, voice a little detached when he said it. He didn't exactly sound pleased by his sisters decision but it was obvious he was at least trying to be supportive. "They wouldn't let me go with her either." He added at the end.

Glancing around the surprisingly tidy inside, he listened to Tuffs explanation and couldn't help but feel a little bad for him. He was mostly sad that he wouldn't be able to recite his newest poem to her, while Tuff was upset cause he already missed his sister. "Two weeks?"

"Or more. Depends on how it all goes." Tuff responded with a sigh as he went and sat down in the center of the floor. "What am I even gonna do while she's gone? She took Barf and Belch so I don't even have that." He complained.

Snotlout pursed his lips before going and sitting next to him. Whatever he was planning on saying in comfort though was lost as he actually smelt the twin. Now usually they smelt like a mixture of BO, Zippleback gas and cheese. A disgusting scent but they were always proud of it. Today though, today he smelt like, "Why do you smell like freshly baked sugar cookies?" He asked.

Tuffnut looked surprised as he spared a glance at Snotlout. Snotlout was actually surprised to see the twins face redden as he averted his gaze and mumbled something under his breath. "What?" Snotlout shot back leaning in closer to hear.

"My mom made both Ruffnut and me bathe in this special oil she made. She said she didn't want us smelling like a dead rat so she's making Ruff and me bathe more often. Except it has always been me. Ruff always somehow finds a way to avoid it while I walk right into it." Tuffnut huffed crossing his arms.

Snotlout grinned finding Tuffs distress amusing, "I think its an improvement. Might actually want to hang around you more now that I don't gag everytime I'm downwind."

"Haha..." Came Tuffnuts response as he kicked at Snotlouts boat. "Speaking of hanging out though. Do you wanna hang out?" Tuffnut asked offhandedly.

"I really just wanted to know why Ruff left. Was gonna go take Hookfang for a flight. He's been restless." Snotlout responded, moving to get up as he was reminded of his original goal. He was still looking at Tuff however as he caught a flash of hurt cross over his face before the twin quickly covered it up with a half smile.

"Yeah okay, I get it. Maybe later?" He asked.

Snotlout frowned, Tuffnut sounded almost desperate and what was with the hurt look he gave him. It wasn't like they hanged out all the time so why did he suddenly want too today. Feeling wary he just shrugged, "I'm a busy dude." Was his response as he turned to leave.

If Tuff was trying to pull him into a prank he wasn't falling for it. Tuff didn't say anything as he left the house either so Snotlout just assumed he realized that Snotlout was too good to be tricked.

Now to go flying.

#tuffnut #snotlout #tufflout #yambf #httyd

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gaamagirl565 · 3 years

Text

Matters of the heart Season 3 Episode 3 A heart of thirst WARNING: this episode of matters of the heart contains heavy subject matters

Matters of the heart Season 3 Episode 3 A heart of thirst WARNING: this episode of matters of the heart contains heavy subject matters {OPENING CREDITS} {Open to Corona castles throne room; Larkspur sits sideways on one of the thrones sipping from a golden goblet despondently} Vergus: Mistress? Why do you look so blue? we have everything we could ever want. Corona is ours. Larkspur: not everything... those morons continue to fight us... and noremoth…. {Her grip tightens on her cup before she throws it across the room} Larkspur: I WANT HIM FOUND!.... Vergus: O-Of course mistress! Larkspur: he betrayed us all...He betrayed me! {Vergus walks up to her throne; he takes off he cape and drapes it across her} Vergus: of course he did mistress. did you expect anything less of the man? Larkspur: to be honest I don't know what I expected of him…. more than this! Vergus: for all we know mistress he could be dead. our sweet vessel took care of him quite nicely the last time we saw him. Larkspur: that is true... wherever he is I hope he's burning. what traitors deserve... what everyone deserves. those privileged, underhanded… Vergus: mistress if I may… {he hands her a small vial} Larkspur: what is that? Vergus: a sleeping aid. you've been awake for more than 2 days. you must be exhausted. for the sake of-!? {Larkspur snatches it from his hands and chugs the small vial} Vergus:....Right then….um... do call me if you need anything… Larkspur: I'll be fine…. Go. {Vergus bows and leaves; Larkspur turns over in the chair tiredly and closes her eyes; fade to Vardaros where rain pours from the sky; a younger Larkspur dressed in rags watches with a cold glare as a coffin is being carried through the streets with a large crowd of people; a young woman steps on the stage in town square} Vex: Ladies and Gentlemen...We have….sorry...We have lost someone dear to all of us. Larkspur: pfftt… “dear”... Vex: Captain Quiad was an honourable and just man. He fought for what was right and whenever we needed him he was always right there. whenever he thought he was out of the game he always searched for a reason to get back in. He cared for all of us. no matter who you are or who you were….He was a brave Sheriff who fought for every man, woman, and child... and it is with a heavy heart that we today say goodbye. {Thunder rumbles causing Larkspur to jump and go back into the alley} Larkspur: Fought for everyone...puh! he was nothing but a tired old man running around with a sword. if he truly did anything for our town then why am I still hungry!? Why are my brothers and sisters dead!? Why did I watch my family starve!? {She kicks a can but yells in pain} Larkspur: I hate Vardaros… I hate them all... {fade out to Larkspur asleep in the throne mumbling; Cut to the medical tent at camp; Noremoth breathes shakily as Hector looks over the wounds with the physician} Hector: Straight through… Physician: yes unfortunately the blade went straight through him. it caused some serious internal injuries that I was able to repair mostly through surgery but I fear that infection is going to take him. Hector: judging from the wound shape i’m going to say it was a straight single edged sword. Physician: I've done what I can to the wound as for the infection… Hector: not much you can do for that... he's got to fight his own battle now. {Varian walks in with Eugene} Varian: how is he? Hector: let's just say he's had better days. and if he doesn't fight off this infection he won't have any more days. Eugene: we don't have much medicine left... kids we are able to learn some valuable information about whatever gas the cult used... it can be lethal but we don't have an antidote. Varian: I could synthesize one if I had my lab but it's too dangerous to sneak back into town. Hector: welp... better practice Your Grave digging boys… {Hector walks out of the tent} Eugene: you know I was kind of hoping that after all these years he would have lightened up a little bit but clearly not… Varian: Isaiah...I know you're there you can come out now. {Isaiah walks in with Benny} Varian: theres my girl! {Benny runs over and is lifted up} Varian: what going on with you two? Sneaking around? Isaiah: are the sick and injured really doing that bad? Varian:....ummm Isaiah: dad come on… I need to know. {Varian sighs and puts benny down} Varian: yeah... they're not doing good. Eugene: people are going to want to know what's going on... we might as well be honest. we're running out of Medicine. Hector and his family have been quite the help foraging for ingredients for remedies but that's not going to hold these people off. if we can't find a way to cure them we're going to lose a lot of people. Isaiah: *gasps*...but...Nathaniel...he.. Varian: I'm sorry buddy but it's not looking good for him. {Isaiah runs out of the tent and Eugene places a hand on Varians shoulder; Cut back to Larkspur groaning in her sleep; Fade into her dream; Younger larkspur sits outside a shop begging for coins} Larkspur:...please...coins? I just want some bread… {A child stops by her and reaches out before being pulled away by his mother} Mother: Don’t speak to beggars! They probably have the plague! {Larkspur growls in anger before shivering} Larkspur: Pathetic whelps...what makes me less than you?....one day you’ll be the ones begging… Unknown woman: Oh is that so? {Larkspur jumps surprised and looks up at a young woman with golden curly hair} Larkspur: ...and you are? Unknown woman: You cut right down to business don't you? Larkspur: I don't like speaking unless I know whom I'm speaking to. Unknown woman: Fair enough...I’m Chiara, and you? Larkspur:....Larkspur… Chiara: like the flower? Thats so pretty! {She sits next to her} Larkspur:....You're not from here are you? Chiara: is it that easy to tell? I just moved here! I heard there was a huge demand for bakeries! I want to set up my own shop here. Larkspur: well lesson number one little miss Chi-chi... I'm a beggar you're supposed to avoid me and pretend I don't exist…. Chiara:...that doesn't sound right. if you're so down on your luck shouldn't we be working together to help you? {Larkspur laughs} Larkspur: oh you're really not from here. Chiara:...hmmm...oh! Here! Have some! it's going to be my bakery’s special! {She hands her a muffin; Larkspur looks at her suspiciously before rolling her eyes and taking it; she takes a bite and her eyes practically glow with amazment} Larkspur: it...IT’S AMA- {She looks at Chiara’s beaming face} Larkspur: it’s good… Chiara: Oh! I'm so glad you like it! I'm good at baking all sorts of treats but muffins are my specialty. this one is specifically an apple cinnamon one! {She leans in real close to whisper} Chiara: they're my favorite too! Larkspur: *snerk* Chiara: oh dear I'm supposed to meet the movers at my new shop! it was lovely meeting you Larkspur! I'll see you soon! Larkspur:...yeah...um...thanks...bye. {She sits back against the wall and takes a bite of the muffin before slightly smiling; Fade out on Larkspur smiling asleep; fade back into her dream; Chiara sneaks into a back alley} Chiara: Larkspur? You here? {Larkspur jumps down from a roof onto a wooden crate making Chiara jump} Chiara: OH! Haha! You startled me! Larkspur: How's business? Chiara: it's been doing great in the past months! I brought cake by the way! Larkspur: you know I don't have much of a sweet tooth. Chiara: I know but who doesn't like cake!? {Larkspur smirks and sits next to her; Chiara takes out the cake to show it has larkspur and rose flowers on it} Chiara: Ta-daa! Larkspur: huh? Last time I checked flowers didn't exactly taste very good. Chiara: no silly! they’re just decoration! Your name is Larkspur so that was an obvious choice but roses are my favorite! this is to celebrate several months of friendship! Larkspur:.... Chiara: you don't like it? chocolate not your thing? don't tell me you're allergic! Oh i’m sorry! Larkspur: N-no! it's not that at all... I'm just confused. Chiara: confused? Why? Larkspur: I'm a beggar..people avoid me...it’s always been that way...people despise me. {Chiara sets the cake down} Chiara: tell me about it? Larkspur:.... my parents died when I was young. plague. I didn't have any next of kin so I was sent here to a poor house. I don't know what you are living situation was but when you're all alone in the world you have to find allies. a group of children in that poor house... they were my family… Chiara:....were? Larkspur:...Vardaros was taken over at one point by powerful man. the baron. he’d pay you good if you worked for him. So my siblings and I decided to work for him. Of course I never got to meet him personally mind you he always had his little big-nosed henchmen do everything for him. that included paying us. I'm not going to sugarcoat it the stuff I did for him... it was bad. not stuff for the faint of heart. you do what you can to survive. Chiara: what happened? Larkspur: some people from Corona came and overthrew him… once he was gone that spineless little weasel decided he didn't need us. he tried to take over the town. he lasted maybe a few days before those people from Corona overthrew him as well.they had Quiad return in “glory”... as if he hadn't been gone for over a decade already. with our steady pay gone we had to look for other means of survival. nobody wants to hire beggar children…. they all started getting sick… Chiara: larkspur… Larkspur: there was nothing I could do... I stole whatever I could to try and feed them... but no matter how much I stole it was never enough. and none of those self-righteous people would ever help. I watched them all slowly starve to death. they were so much younger than me. sometimes I would think of them as my children. {larkspur gasps as she feels Chiara wrap her arms around her} Chiara: I'm so sorry…. I can't imagine that pain. Larkspur: To this day I still don't understand why nobody would help... they think they’re so much better than us... I swore on the day that I saw the last of them starve that I would make everybody in this town feel the same pain and Desperation that I felt. that one day everybody around me would be the ones begging while I walked over them. Chiara:... and would that make you feel better? Larkspur: of course it would! they need to suffer as I have suffered! this whole the innocent and meek shall inherit the earth is garbage! I didn't do anything to anybody and I suffer day in and day out! yet these people treat me like I'm garbage and they have a full belly every night! Chiara: Larkspur... would you say that you felt happy when you were with all those children? Larkspur:... they were my family... course I felt happy with them. Chiara: and now that you're alone you feel miserable and angry. Larkspur: what is your point? Chiara: you don't want Vengeance you want love. you miss them. you miss having someone care for you the way that they cared for you. losing them broke you. but just because you're broken doesn't mean you can't be put back together. {Larkspur leans into her and Chiara strokes her hair} Chiara: You know I think I have an idea! Larkspur: hmm? Chiara: there's a spare room in my house. I've mostly been using it for storage but I don't have many things of my own so it's pretty much just an empty room. but it's warm! downstairs is the bakery and I could use the help! Larkspur: Are you giving me a job? Chiara: Of course! you'll get paid and free room and board! Larkspur: why?... Chiara: when something's broken it's easier to have help to put it back together. {Larkspur smiles and hugs her; cut to a few months later as Larkspur enters the shop wearing a simple dress and apron} Chiara: Hi! Welcome home! Larkspur: I just put the horse back and there's new bags of flour in the storage room. Chiara: you’re the best! thanks for doing that pick up. Larkspur: it's my job. Chiara: I know but it's still nice that you do it. {The door jingles as costumers enter} Chiara: can you handle this one? I'm about to take a fresh batch of sourdough out. Larkspur: don't lie to me you were experimenting with the cakes again weren't you? Chiara: I will perfect a cake with the best strawberry cream filling! you will see yet! {Larkspur gently shoves her into the back} Larkspur: just make sure you are trying to use gunpowder to cook faster I don't want another explosion like last time….How can I help you sir? Villager: one sourdo-....... Larkspur:.... Sir? Villager: you were that beggar… Larkspur:... yes I was a beggar. but I don't appreciate people prying into my personal life so I'll ask you again, how can I help you sir? Villager: please tell me you wash your hands before touching the dough! Larkspur: excuse me? Villager: you were a beggar! you were exposed to all sorts of illnesses weren't you!? and now you're working in a bread shop!? Disgusting! {Chiara walks in} Chiara: is there a problem out here? Villager: you hired a beggar!? you know how disease-ridden these people are!? Chiara: sir, that's not very polite. Villager: who cares about being polite when you could infect the entire town! Chiara: I care about being polite! now sir if you don't mind I respectfully ask that you leave my establishment and seek business elsewhere. Villager: Oh i’ll leave! but I'm warning you it isn't good business to hire a beggar! They’re filthy! They have lice! Chiara: Leave now! {Chiara pushes the man from the shop and closes the door} Chiara: are you okay? Larkspur: it's nothing that I'm not used to.... in this town once a beggar always a beggar. plus I'm sure some of the people who come in here recognize me from my old work. Chiara: don't think like that! sure that guy was a jerk but that doesn't mean all people are bad! once more people start coming in and tasting the delicious bread that we bake they'll forget all about the past! Promise! {Larkspur furrows her brow for a moment before sighing and nodding} Larkspur: you have so much faith in people… Chiara: no I have faith in good food! {She sticks a bun in Larkspurs mouth and she laughs; cut to Isaiah giving water to the sick as Varian watches and sighs} Varian: I have to do something… Eugene: Varian there's nothing you can do you said it yourself it's too dangerous to sneak back into town. Varian: But there has to be something we can do they're all getting worse! Lance:Well maybe if worse comes to worst we can go to a nearby Kingdom and get some supplies. of course then we'd risk leaving everybody defenseless and possibly leading some people back to the camp… Varian: you're both just rays of sunshine today aren't you? Rapunzel: haven't seen this many injured or sick since the Great Fire of Vardaros… Varian: the what? Eugene: oh right, Varian wasn't here for that, sunshine… Rapunzel: oh that's right he was on his little Adventure! Varian: AY! Scientific Expedition! Rapunzel: riggghhtt… Lance: it was this great big fire that spread all over Vardaros… Eugene: yeah apparently it spread in the middle of the night. Vex wrote to us asking for help. when we got there the entire place have been ravaged by the fire. Rapunzel: I had Corona help with whatever rebuilding that needed to be done. unfortunately turns out a lot of people didn’t survive that fire. just find it weird how it started in the middle of the night and nobody seems to know how. Eugene: a lot of people died sunshine maybe they just didn't want to talk about it. {Varian gets up and starts walking away} Rapunzel: Varian? where are you going? Varian: I have to do something to help! Coronavirus faced many bad things throughout history but it's not going to end with us. I'll be sure of that. {He walks off; cut to Larkspur shivering in the throne with her lip quivering; fade into her dream; Larkspur is driving her wagon full of flour, yeast, and sugar home; at first she is calm then she sees an orange glow getting bigger} Larkspur: What on earth? {The bakery is on fire with a crowd of people around it; Larkspur gasps in horror and signals the horse to gallop; once she gets close enough she sees Vex yelling at the small crowd as the bakery is engulfed} Larkspur: …..What...h-happened…? {She hops off the wagon and stumbles over to the burning building; Vex runs over and pulls her back} Larkspur: W-Wait! Chiara! WHERE’S CHIARA!? Vex: Who? Larkspur: The baker! My friend! Vex: ...the bake-.... {Vex sadly looks over at the covered person on the ground; Larkspurs eyes dilate; for a moment all that is heard is Larkspurs heartbeat} Larkspur: AHHHHH!!!! {She runs over and pulls the sheet off her friend to reveal Chiara’s soot covered face} Larkspur: Chiara! Chiara please wake up! Don’t leave me alone again! {Larkspur holds her and sobs} Vex: I..I’m so sorry… Larkspur: WHO DID THIS!? Which one of you monsters did this!? Villager: I did… Larkspur: ….y-you!? Villager: someone in town who frequented you shop caught the plague… Larkspur: SO!? You can catch that anywhere! We were both clean! Villager: as I was just explaining to our lovely Sheriff here we were doing our civic duty and burning the infected business Vex: And as I was telling YOU- you can’t just burn down a building! You didn’t even have evidence they got sick here! And you set it a blaze with someone inside! That’s murder! Larkspur: you...you set fire to the shop and let her die!? {A small explosion rings out; everyone turns to the flames} Larkspur: th-the gun powder… Vex: Gun po-EVERYONE DOWN! {A large explosion erupts from the shop blowing people away and blasting out the display window; Larkspur groggily sits up before looking around and crawling back over to Chiara and holding her close} Larkspur: Chiara… Villager: Help! {Larkspur turns to see the villager pinned under some debrisas the fire spreads to other buildings} Villager: Please help me! The smoke is becoming too thick! {He coughs and sputters as larkspur lifts Chiara} Villager: Please i’ll do...anything..please help… Larkspur:...Shut up you filthy beggar… {She turns an begins walkin out of Vardaros carrying Chiara as the fire spreads further; fade to a hillside over looking Vardaros; Larkspur lays down some roses on a makeshift grave; she looks over at the smouldering town} Larkspur: Never again...I Swear Chiara...I'm never going to let this world bring me down again...I'll show them all... I'll show them what happens when you kick people around. Eventually we're able to kick back. that's what I'm going to do. If I'm not allowed to have love... I'll have fear... I'll be the one on top... people will follow me. I'll make them pay for what they did to us. all of them. {Cut to Larkspur jerking awake with a gasp} Vergus: Mistress? Are you alright? Larkspur:...y-yeah...yes..I’m fine.. how long have I been asleep? Vergus: almost the entire day. you needed the rest. Larkspur: Vergus?... can you cook? Vergus: mistress? ummm... yes I can cook fairly well why? Larkspur:... could you please cook some apple cinnamon muffins? {Vergus cocks an eyebrow} Vergus: I..uhh..Y-yes... of course mistress I'll get right on it… {larkspur stares off at the sunset coldly; cut to camp as Isaiah is carrying in a stack of logs; he trips} Isaiah: YAGH! Bjørn: Whoa little man! {Juniper catches Isaiah and Bjørn catches the logs} Bjørn: Don't over exceed your own weight. Isaiah: I could say the same to you whenever the Soup pot is done Juniper: PFFTT!! Bjørn: why you little- Hector: Bjørn! Juniper! Bjørn: Coming father! This isn’t over. {Isaiah yawns and stretches as he walks over to his families tent; he stops once inside an smiles; Varian snores on his bed surrounded by various books about healing. Herbology, and alchemy; Isaiah throws a blanket on him and blows out the candle} {END CREDITS}

#tangled #rapunzel’s tangled adventure #matters of the heart #fanfic #Eugene Fitzherbert #larkspur #tts hector #Rapunzel #tangled the series #TTS #RTA #tts oc #rta oc #lance strongbow

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pilot-boi · 4 years

Text

Shouting In Cafes: Chapter Twelve

Data Acquired

Scarlet meets Sun and realizes some things that are blatantly obvious to him if that aren’t obvious to his roommate. Neptune, meanwhile, wishes nothing more than to crawl into a hole and die.

AO3 LINK

“Look at my hair!” Neptune gestured wildly to the absolute mess sitting atop his head. “This takes time, as you very well know!” he yelled, scurrying off the bed and immediately yanking open his drawers to pull together a somewhat sensible outfit.

“You know, Jaune would probably say ‘Don’t worry Neptune! Friends don’t care if their friend’s hair is messy!’” Scarlet remarked offhandedly.

“Well, I care!”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you. You do look like a hot mess.”

“Oh thanks for the vote of confidence, dude,” Neptune snapped, tugging on a pair of pants while hopping on one leg. All he succeeded in doing with this maneuver was toppling to the ground while Scarlet laughed.

With Scarlet’s help, he finally got into an outfit that didn’t look like he’d just rolled out of bed. “He’s late,” Neptune grumbled, arms crossed.

“One minute late,” Scarlet sighed from beside him.

“He said give him an hour.”

“No one means exactly an hour, Neptune. We can’t all be perfectly on time.”

“Should I seriously wear this?” Neptune asked, gesturing vaguely at his shirt. “I look obscenely gay.”

“I like the flower print. Why? Do you think he’s going to ask you about it?”

“Is it bad? Should I change?”

“Neptune, I was just teas-”

“It’s bad, you’re right. I’m gonna change.”

Luckily, just as Neptune was spun around to walk back into the room, an echoing voice down the hall yelled, “Neptune! Bro!”

And five seconds later, a large hand clapped onto Neptune’s back, forcibly turning him around.

Sun looked… clean. Weirdly clean. An-effort-was-put-into-his-look clean. What the effort might have been for, Neptune could not guess in a million years. It escaped his notice that he’d also put in similar effort for this “event,” but surely that was unrelated.

His hair was messy, it was always messy, but it looked like more thought was put into the chaos than usual. Like, maybe he tried a couple times before he got the windblown look exactly right.

His shirt wasn’t horribly wrinkled, though it did say “I’M HERE (YOU’RE WELCOME)” in that same horrible impact font and it, again, had no sleeves. He wore board shorts, because of course he was, but somehow, someway, he was not wearing open-toed shoes. Instead adorning his feet were pristine black and yellow converse, either newly bought or newly dry cleaned.

Neptune had to admit that he was impressed.

“Wow,” he began. “You look-”

“This is the first time I’ve seen you out of your work clothes!” Sun yelled, effectively cutting him off. “You do have a sense of style, I could tell.”

Neptune frowned. “Is that because of the gay thing.”

“Bi thing. And no, I think it was because of the hair. Or the glasses.” Sun raised an eyebrow, a cocky smirk pulling at his face as he began to turn around, arms extended as if to show off what he was wearing. “It’s nice to find someone with comparably good taste in clothes.”

Neptune grimaced in distaste. “My sense of style is not comparable to yours.”

Sun slapped his hand back onto Neptune’s shoulder. “Oh, you look great, don’t sell yourself short!”

Before Neptune could object to this, he was being pulled into a very tight hug, complete with manly man thumps on the back.

Neptune couldn’t bring himself to hug back, but he could apparently bring himself to notice how warm Sun was. And of course how he could feel every single muscle in his arms.

Scarlet appeared in his peripheral vision, giving Neptune a thumbs up. Thanks for nothing, man.

Finally, Sun released his captive, still gripping his shoulders on either side, still smiling like a madman. “You know, I was a little afraid that we were never actually gonna hang out! You waited, like, two whole days before texting me at all!” He was pouting now, eyes wide in that stupid puppy dog look.

“Isn’t that proper etiquette?” Neptune asked carefully, deciding not to mention that it was actually Scarlet who had texted back, and that if it had been left up to him, maybe there would never have been a second contact.

“Maybe for dates, but not for friends!” Sun slid to Neptune’s side, and slung an arm over his shoulders. “Unless this is a date, handsome.” And a wink, always with the damn winking.

Neptune laughed, not nervously, never nervously, and shrugged off the arm. “Not a date, you wish. Just doing… something. What are we doing again?”

“Oh! That’s right. It’s a surprise.” Sun wiggled his fingers, as if somehow that added to the mystery.

“Wow,” Neptune deadpanned, fighting the urge to laugh at this giant child. Can’t let him know that he was actually amused by his antics, that would be admitting defeat.

“You two have fun! Just text me when you get back, Neptune,” Scarlet called. He had apparently been edging himself down the hallway while thie interaction occurred, and suddenly Neptune panicked.

Jesus, God. He was about to be left alone with this madman.

“Oh!” Sun spun around, stepping towards Scarlet and capturing one of his hands in two of his. “I didn’t see you! You know Neptune?”

“Yes, I’m his roommate, Scarlet,” he said. He was tracing his eyes up and down Sun, as if sizing him up. Neptune felt torn between rolling his eyes in amusement at the look of delight on Sun’s face upon meeting a new potential friend, and horror at what the fuck Scarlet was doing, and not even subtly at that.

“Nice to meet you, Scarlet!” Sun exclaimed, shaking his roommate’s arm hard enough that Neptune thought it might fall off.

“Likewise,” Scarlet said, prying his fingers out of Sun’s vice grip. “Nice one, Neptune,” he shot over Sun’s shoulder to Neptune, who was still standing frozen in mortification. Scarlet’s eyes took one last look up and down Sun, who blessedly seemed not to notice. “This one’s a keeper.”

“Scarlet!” Neptune hissed, flushing as red as his roommate’s hair.

Just at the same moment, Sun rubbed the back of his neck and grinned. “Aw thanks, dude! I try.”

“Just bring him back to me in one piece, alright?” Scarlet asked Sun, shooting Neptune an incredibly knowing look. How dare he. This was betrayal of the highest order.

“Can do!” Sun said and twirled back to Neptune. He moved so constantly that it was almost dizzying to look at. Neptune began to feel ill and fought to get the flush out of his cheeks. Sun grabbed Neptune’s hand, leading him away. “It was great meeting you! Come on bro, let’s go!”

“Agh, Jesus, you haven’t even told me where we’re going!”

“It’s a surprise!” Curse the delight in his voice, how dare he sound so excited about potentially kidnapping him.

Neptune caught Scarlet’s eye as he was dragged away. He was leaning in the doorway of their shared room, arms crossed and one eyebrow raised sardonically.

‘Help me!’ Neptune mouthed at him.

He was yanked around the corner before he could get a response in return.

Sun was blathering away, talking about nothing and generally making a huge ruckus. Neptune’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he fished it out as best he could while being yanked down a hallway by an excitable child.

Red Rackham: You said he was tall, you never said he was cute

Ocean Man: Dude what the fuck?!

Red Rackham: Hey, I’m just telling it how it is

Red Rackham: Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, you two lovebirds ;)

Ocean Man: Theres nothing you wouldnt do!

Ocean Man: And we are not lovebirds!

Red Rackham: Sure you’re not

Red Rackham: I’ve only seen you have one conversation, and you two were acting like an old married couple

Red Rackham: He even tried to get all spiffed up for your little date, it’s adorable

Ocean Man: It is not a date!

Red Rackham: Bullshit

Ocean Man: And he is not adorable

Red Rackham: Bull

Ocean Man: Were not even friends!

Red Rackham: Shit

Ocean Man: Come on man dont be like that

Red Rackham: I think he likes you

Red Rackham: He was flirting with you hardcore

Neptune froze. Or he froze as much as he could while getting tugged down a stairwell by a giant with volume control issues.

Neptune had long since tuned out of whatever conversation he was having with Sun, but luckily Sun was talking loudly and enthusiastically seemingly without needing any input from him. He was waving one of his hands around excitedly as he talked, but not both.

Sun was still holding his hand.

His phone buzzed.

Red Rackham: Earth to Neptune, come in Neptune

Ocean Man: You really think he was flirting with me?

Red Rackham: Oh I know so

Red Rackham: He said you looked great, complimented you at every turn

Red Rackham: The man could not keep his hands off you

Ocean Man: Thats just what hes like with everyone it doesn’t mean anything.

Red Rackham: Neptune

Ocean Man: It doesnt mean anything!

Ocean Man: And even if he was flirting with me.

Ocean Man: Which he is not.

Ocean Man: Its not like I have a crush on him so it doesnt matter.

Red Rackham: Whatever you say

Red Rackham: Have fun on your not-date-totally-a-date

Red Rackham: I have to update Jaune, he needs these deets

Ocean Man: Scarlet I swear to god you better fucking not!

Ocean Man: You better not be texting Jaune.

Ocean Man: Scarlet?

Ocean Man: Oh god fucking dammit.

With his roommate abandoning him, and the very real idea that he might be getting into cahoots with his coworker to cook up some sort of horrible plan based on very untrue accusations, Neptune felt fear of the likes of which he’d never felt before.

He barely even noticed Sun holding the door of his car open for him to get into. He definitely didn’t notice the too-fond looks Sun kept shooting at him as they drove too many miles over the speed limit and Neptune panicked.

Sun only let go of his hand to drive. Neptune wondered behind the panic of the drive if his heart was racing from the high speeds and the wind rushing through his hair, or if it was from how Sun seemed unable to stop himself from glancing expectantly over at Neptune every time he made a joke or a sly comment.

Or if it was how Sun’s cheeks flushed and his eyes twinkled with delight whenever Neptune shot back with snark of his own.

#rwby #neptune vasilias #sun wukong #seamonkeys #scarlet david #jaune arc #mine #my writing #shouting in cafes #chapter 12 #writing wednesday #coffee shop rwby

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disaster-fruit · 4 years

Note

the thought just popped up in my mind: do you think brazil still called port his dad and port still called brazil his son after brazil’s independence and during his imperial days? how would you see their relationship during this time?

Surprise surprise! this got long

tl;dr: no, brazil didnt call port dad during most of the empire

I can only speak for Brazil here, because as ive mentioned I have no clue what the Portuguese perspective on the empire was at the time and I’d love to know if you ever feel like talking about it, but I think it really depends on what period of the empire we are talking.

On the years before the independence, from 1808 to 1822, I have no doubt brazil called Portugal dad all the time, unless he was angry at him. As we get close to independence brazil wants more and more to assure his position in their power balance, and they fought more since this time Portugal couldn’t just ignore him or punish him, they were now an united kingdom and brazil held a lot of the real power. And when they fought, brazil would often call him Portugal – not dad, not port, not his human name whatever that is. But on most days and most situations, he’d just call him painho dad.

From the moment Brazil became independent, there was no more dad, for a while. During the independence war obviously not, but also at the end of Pedro I’s reign and all that mess going on in Portugal there was real fear that Brazil might become a colony again, and not even a united kingdom but really a colony, if Pedro went back to Portugal. There was also a lot of resentment from the Brazilians, both in the elite and in the general population, against the influence the Portuguese that remained held in politics and economy. Our baby boy brazil of course was terrified of the idea of becoming a colony again – he spent more than a decade making it clear for Portugal that he could no longer treat him like he did back in the 18th century, so it would be both a blown on his independence and on his pride. He wanted nothing more than to distance himself from Portugal, so here theres no way I see him calling his father anything but Portugal.

This trend of distancing himself continued, with brazil wanting to find his identity and justify his independence (specially in a context where very little actually changed you know… The monarchy was still there, slavery was still there, he couldn’t really use freedom and republic to justify his existence like some of the others could). To do that, he emotionally shut out port almost completely and put all his efforts into getting closer to Pindorama again, trying to find in her an identity that was uniquely his (vide indianismo) (spoilers: he did it all wrong bc he was just trying to use his mom to fill a void while continuing to be like his father in all the worst ways, never once actually listening to what she had to say, but only to what was useful to his identity and his interests and honestly Pindorama never for a moment thought brazil actually was trying reconnect with her, she could smell his bullshit from miles away but hey tangent tangent)

As the empire becomes stable with pedrinho and brazil stops fearing being killed by his provinces or becoming a colony again, he might slowly be more comfortable with being around port and talking to him, and maybe calling him dad in private. By the last decades of the empire I don’t think there was really anything holding him back from calling him dad and being more relaxed around him – brazil was the empire now and Portugal didn’t have much real power remaining, brazil was safe from him.

Lol this got long, to the surprise of Zero people. And that was just brazil’s perspective hdfuas honestly id love to hear your thoughts on that too, you know im a slut for both brazilain empire and bra&port messy family dynamic discussions.

#ask #hcs #sorry i talk so much asudhfu thanks for the ask!!!#i always love an opportunity to ramble about the empire

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thehermitsforest · 3 years

Text

Chapter 7

The sound of hurried footsteps quickly approaching landed Eduardo upright on his feet wiping the nightmare sweat from his forehead.

“It’s just Carry” Cecil said, still sitting crossed leg, gazing along the road.

“What’s he doing?” Eduardo asked glancing down to him.

“Fancied a gallop” Cecil said. Eduardo sighed.

“Really?”

Cecil looked up with big eyes and shrugged “that’s what he said.” Carry came stumbling into view out of the darkness.

“Whats wrong?” Edmund asked urgently. Cecil turned slowly.

“Humans, ten of them about a mile up.” He said pointing wildly.

“Did they see you?” Eduardo asked.

“I don’t know - they might have.”

“We should move off the road, get low and wait for them to pass without noticing

us” Eduardo said pushing his blanket back into his bag. Cecil gave a nod.

“But - but they’re evil! Spirit traders, if they catch scent of us they won’t leave our tail. We’ve got to fight.”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea. We should just wait.” Eduardo said.

“I’m not fond of these traders, so I don’t think it’ll be too much of a hassle to set them straight” Cecil said “you two stay here.”

“Do you need help?” Carry asked. Cecil paused glancing and Eduardo.

“Stay here horse.” Cecil said picking up his tree and pushing it in to Eduardo’s arms “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Eduardo watched as Cecil slowly walked away fading into the misty darkness. Carry stood close to him hovering over Eduardo’s shoulder.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?”

“Most spirits that aren’t caught within a trap are perfectly fine when it comes to fighting humans, unless the get shot with a spirit gun. Of course anyone who knows what a spirit gun can easily outwit humans. But maybe you would know that if you were a human.”

Eduardo looked suspiciously up at Carry “I am human.” Carry looked at him slyly, a glint in her and then she glanced out to the road again, before grabbing ahold of his wrist.

“Let go” Eduardo said sternly.

“If you are human why have the spirit chains you took from me damaged your hands” he said holding his thumb in the palm of Eduardo’s hand with an iron grip. Eduardo struggled the tree he held in one hand shaking up and down.

“Carry - fine you got me, I’m host to the tiniest essence of a spirit-”

“Host! You are the spirit, you dirty little human.”

“Well am I a spirit or a dirty little human? Make up your damn mind.”

“What would you prefer?” Carry asked “I’m a man eating horse, and I eat small, especially insignificant spirits that have yet to develop their own consciousness.” He said far too closely too Eduardo’s face.

“Urm” Eduardo said in an effort to gain some time “I’d prefer you didn’t eat me, after all we are travelling companions. What use am I dead?”

“Every spirit I absorbs grows me, after I take you I’ll take your friend, and I’ll move on to kill the cities.”

“Interesting evil plot” Eduardo nodded “but I’m kind of busy this week.”

“It’s of no matter to me” Carry said and grabbed his other hand, the tree fell out of Eduardo’s hand, as Carry pushed him to the ground.

“Shit! Shit! You stupid fucking horse” Eduardo screamed struggling beneath him.

“What an odd thing for a person to say who has made themselves enemies of humans and spirits alike” Carry said, and he grinned with a lengthening face, and his opened his face like a crocodile would open his mouth. Eduardo’s eyes were wide, unmoving in fear as the monstrous’s beings clawed hooves dug deeper into him.

Eduardo pissed himself. Then almost at the same time however Eduardo would have preferred before, the tree shook, the branches waved, and they impaled through Carry’s stomach pushing him off of Eduardo. He was across the road in seconds. Branches through his legs, and stomach pushing out a replica of intestines that looked like bunched up sausages. Branches sprouting new buds spread out his mouth and his eyes darted about with the same fear Eduardo had shown not moments ago.

“Really Carry?” Cecil asked with a laugh and tilt to his head as he stood next to the tree “in front my greens?”

Carry coughed and orange leaves from his lungs showered the path “trees can see?”

“Of course. Eduardo there are no humans on the road tonight. Can you believe Carry lied to us?”

Eduardo looked from Cecil up to Carry who was quickly becoming a tree “yes?”

“You know where I come from spirits respect each other” Cecil said, gesturing with his hands. Carry attempted to reply but nothing came out of his mouth, and there was bark so far around his body that he could not move or gesture.

“Why isn’t he dying?” Eduardo asked.

“I could eat him, but then I’d have a herd of horses, and frankly I don’t need them - and not man eating ones not my scene.”

“Don’t you eat people?”

“I could let him die, but he’d probably just respawn, so, I’m just putting him in a tree.”

“Isn’t that cruel?”

“Not on purpose, ‘though I am nature so theres little I can do about it. Lost my damn tree now though.” Cecil said crossing his arms as he watched his own spectacle.” Eduardo glanced back to Carry, but the sight made his stomach queazy and he was quick to look away, but he could still hear creak of the branches moving around.

“Let me just.. change my pants then we can go.

“You don’t want to sleep no more?”

“No. I’m done.”

Chapter 6

Chapter 5

Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Prologue

#eduardo and the no good very bad day - Carry's not evil! thats just - just how spirits be sometimes hes a good character though he's got #more natural bulk so I might free him later ...give him...his own spin off.. too soon right?#creative writing #original writing #stories #writeblr #booklr #i think i need to beat up eduardo more - will that bulk him out? i've probably already beated him enough i need - i need - damn it this #was just supposed to be the pair of them but i think they need a human to bulk them out carry was really helping but he was a spirit #but if i stick a human there i can slap eduardo with them plus have gender equality #the three genders woman #man and genderless #maybe i'll do something funny like a reaaallly old lady - like just so old - or maybe rude - or both? ....

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el-gilliath · 5 years

Text

Alex Manes Appreciation Week

May 10th - Day 7: Futurefic Before anyone comments, yes I know this is from Michael’s POV. But this is what my brain wanted. And I always listen to my creative brain. This story came from this prompt made by my beloved Marlo @bestillmyslashyheart 3) Michael self-destructs rather spectacularly after s1. After everything he’d gone through feeling Max die on him was his last straw. Maria tries to stick around and help him for a while but eventually she can’t anymore not without getting pulled down with him. So Michaels all on his own and yet somehow he wakes up most days in his own bed, his trailer is kept clean and tidy, theres always food in his fridge, and he never loses his job. At first he assumes its Isobel looking out for him but eventually (after months bc he really is a dumbass) he realizes that Alex has been coming by at night when hes drunk out of his mind and helping to keep his life in order just enough so that he doesn’t spiral any further. Its as much as he could do after Michael told him to leave and never come back. That he couldn’t stand the sight of him anymore. But Alex is done walking away and he’s putting his money where his mouth is.

It's dark in his head. The chaos and entropy doesn’t shut down any more. Ever. And he hates it. The guitar helped for 5minutes. Maria for 10. But both of them left him, and now he’s alone. All alone, the way he should be. He’s the entropy, he’s the chaos, he’s the fucking reason his mother is dead, the reason Max is dead, the reason Isobel works harder and harder and harder to get Max back. But they can’t. It’s been months and they are nowhere close.

Liz can’t be around him anymore because he’s given up. Rosa never liked him so she’s out anyway. Kyle has always been a no. He pushed Alex so far away by not showing up and going to Maria that he knows he can never fix it. Isobel is too busy for him and he understands that. He doesn’t even have the Pony anymore, because that is Maria’s space and he knows he’s not welcome right now. It’s all his fault, all of it.

All he has now is the acetone. The booze. A panel of a spaceship that there is no use in fixing since Antar is war torn and destroyed anyway. Everything he ever had; any glimmer of hope is gone.

He drinks in front of his trailer now. Sometimes in the caves next to their pods. Sometimes at Saturn’s Rings. He always mixes enough booze and acetone to pass out. But he always wakes up in the trailer when he does. Unless he goes home with someone before he passes out but he’s usually too drunk and too far gone for that.

He rages out with his telekinesis and destroys everything in his Airstream. But he wakes up to it clean and tidy, his fridge full of food, a fresh bottle of water on the floor next to his bed. He doesn’t know why Isobel keeps looking out for him when she’s busy with Max, but he never tells her to stop. Maybe it feels good to know that someone cares for him. Not that he deserves it. But somewhere in the deep dark abyss that is his mind now a days he knows that he needs it.

Sanders never calls and fires him either, even if he knows that he hasn’t really been doing his job for months. He tries, but not even engines and fixing things help. It just makes him lose control even further and makes him dive for the acetone bottle. Healthy coping is overrated anyway.

He hates everything his life is. All the aches and pain intensifying in his head, making it feel like the entropy is crushing his spirit. And maybe it is. Maybe it’s crushing everything he is. He knows he hasn’t been halfway sober in a couple of months at least. Maybe he should be scared of that but the only thing he feels is relief. Like he needs it so he can forget about the trauma. Forget about the good things in his life that he doesn’t deserve anymore or broke apart in his rage and sadness.

So when Isobel drives into the junkyard about three months after Max dies he’s surprised. He’s not anywhere close to sober, but he’s not anywhere near drunk enough to black out either. That is what drinking steadily does to you, you need just that much more to go under.

“You still on the bender then?” She asks as she walks up to where he is sitting in front of the Airstream. He just looks at her and takes another sip of the bourbon bottle in his hand.

“It’s been three months you know, maybe it’s time you get your head out of your ass and realize you have a problem.” The anger in her voice washes over him but he’s too lost to care. So he just drinks more, his mind is churning and he needs it to stop.

“Michael! I need you! Max needs you! Doesn’t that mean anything?!” She’s shouting now, the anger backed by a psychic lash that digs into his brain. Too bad his brain is filled with too much chaos anyway.

“Fine. I don’t know how the hell you’ve survived these three months but come talk to me when you’re not broken. I need my brother, Michael,” she says, before she turns and gets into her car. And of course she needs Max, she always did. No one needs him, he’s not worth it. And it only makes the spiral deeper.

-----------

It’s a couple days later when he’s trying to do some work that her words finally penetrate his mind. It makes him freeze, because if Isobel doesn’t know how he’s been surviving then who is helping him out? If she didn’t get him home and into bed at night, if she didn’t keep his Airstream and clothes clean, if she didn’t put food in his fridge. Then who is?

There’s no way it’s Maria, she told him in no uncertain terms that she was done, that she couldn’t handle whatever trauma he had going on. Not that he blames her, he hurt her pretty bad too when his easy didn’t turn out quite so easy.

It can’t be Liz or Rosa, both of them are too busy with making Rosa being alive seem plausible and trying to find a way to bring Max back. The guilt of not helping them threatens to overcome him every day but he know’s he wouldn’t be much help anyway.

It’s not Kyle. Valenti wouldn’t do that, even if his motto is Do No Harm. And besides he has a newly resurrected sister to get to know.

That leaves only one person. The person he might have hurt most of all. The person Michael told to leave and never come back. The person he told that he couldn’t stand the sight of him anymore. That seeing Alex was like looking at Jesse Manes, at the death and destruction brought to him by the Manes family. That their cosmic connection didn’t mean shit and that he was done loving Alex.

He hasn’t let himself think about that moment for three months. Hasn’t let himself think about the tears that ran down Alex’s cheeks, about how he held himself as if he was a tiny, hurt child. About the devastation and heartbreak he could see in his eyes. About how Alex tried to reach out and he pushed him away with his powers. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to firmly get his point across. About how he looked away and walked away from Alex for once.

He knows deep down he regrets it. He told Isobel that he loved Alex and that he probably always would. It’s still true, he loves him with his entire heart. Which is why he broke it. So he could forget.

-----------

He doesn’t drink as much that night. He needs to know for sure. He still drinks more than enough, enough to fall asleep in the lawn chair he’s sitting in. But not enough that he will stay sleeping through whatever happens.

And a fair few hours after he’s fallen asleep, he wakes up as someone hauls him up from the chair he’s been sitting on.

“Come on Michael, help me out a little,” he hears Alex say as he slowly maneuvers them to the Airstream and up the stairs. He makes soft mumbling noises as he drags Michael into the trailer and deposits him on the bed, helping him out of his jeans and shirt before tucking him into bed. Michael cracks his eyes open as he walks away from the bed and watches him tidy up the tiny bit of mess Michael has made during the day. He watches Alex check the fridge, nod to himself as if he’s happy at what he’s found and take out a water bottle. He closes his eyes again as Alex turns towards the bed and listens as he walks over and puts the bottle of water next to the bed. He has to hold himself back from reacting when he feels Alex run his fingers through his hair.

“I wish you didn’t do this to yourself. I wish you would let me help. I love you, Michael” Alex whispers, before he feels the cool pressure of lips against his forehead. 30 seconds later Alex is out the door and his car is driving away. And Michael falls into a pitiful sleep, the entropy in his head renewed with how Alex can care for him with everything he has done and said to the man.

-----------

It takes him another two weeks to decide how to handle this. Two weeks of him drinking just enough to fall asleep, but not enough to not wake up when Alex inevitably comes for him. And it’s the same thing every night. Alex gets him into bed, Alex tidies the Airstream and refills the fridge if he has too. He leaves a bottle of water, runs his fingers through his hair and tells him he loves him. It’s enough to make Michael remember that he is loved. The trauma is nowhere near dealt with, but he starts working a bit more to start feeling some semblance of normality. He drinks a little less so he can appreciate what Alex does for him. He calls Isobel to tell her he’s slowly seeing the light, and she cries in his ear and tells him she loves him and that she is glad her brother is coming back to her, even if it is slowly.

That night, he pretends to sleep in his chair when Alex arrives. But as soon as Alex walks over to him to help him into bed, he opens his eyes and looks directly at Alex. He’s not sober now either, but it is the least he’s had to drink since Max died.

“Hi,” he says as he watches Alex freeze like a deer in headlights. Fear enters his eyes for a moment, but it quickly replaced by resignation.

“How long have you known?” Alex asks, his voice low and sad.

“Two weeks.” Alex exhales loudly, doing that thing where he breathes slowly through pursed lips. He knows it’s a PTSD coping mechanism.

“I’m sorry. I know you told me to stay away”

“Are you? Really?” he asks, watching Alex with as open an expression on his face as he can manage. Alex shifts his weight on his good leg and nods. Carrying around a drunk, grown man can’t be easy on his leg.

“Then why did you do it? Why take care of me when I spoke to you like that?”

Alex exhales again, and swallows loudly. “I told you I was done walking away. Even if you won’t want me around, I need to own up to that. And whichever way I can help, I will.”

Michael just looks at him. He has so much to deal with, so much hurt to heal. He’s not ready for anything close to what he knows Alex wants. To what he knows deep down that he wants too.

“I’m broken, Alex. The entropy never shuts down anymore. The chaos doesn’t stop. Right now I can’t be more than that. I need to be just me so I can deal with it” he says, broken and battered as he is. But still something in him is thankful that he has someone like Alex in his life.

“I can wait. It’s my turn to wait. Just let me help you” Alex replies. There’s nothing like hope in his eyes, but Michael can still feel the tiny spark of hope in him. Like he wants to be there for Michael in any way he can. And if that doesn’t say something about the man Alex is, then what would.

“I can’t promise a happy ending.”

“I don’t care. I just want an ending”

Michael nods, his lips quirking up slightly at the relief that enters Alex’s posture. He’s going to be broken for a long time still. Even if he can feel his heart mending just slightly. Like it wants to be whole again. And some day, maybe he’ll be ready to want that too.

#malex fic #my fic #alex manes #michael guerin #roswell new mexico #marlo my love #thank you for letting me play with your ideas #alexmanesweek2019 #at least this speaks to alex's character #so it's within the week

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

Note

Ok so I know some people in the fandom don't like talking about Magnus' past lovers because anyone that isn't Alec everyone just turns their heads but ok listen. Your last response about Magnus and queer history my head immediately went to Freddie Mercury and oh please I would like a little more insight on how they met and their relationship. The only thing we knew was that Magnus would go to his concerts and even drag his friends along. What I would give to learn more about them.

FUCK MY LIFE anon listen idk if you fully know what you're getting yourself into by asking me this because i am literally OBSESSED with Magnus' relationship with Queen and Freddie like im literally VIBRATING rn i was answering the questions in order but i just HAD to answer this one immediately because !!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck fuck fuck i love magnus' relationship with Freddie Mercury and Queen so much you dont understand, i have already made some posts and i still plan on making a playlist of Queen Songs That Remind Me Of Magnus but anyway hell yeah let's DO this

okay so first im gonna talk a little bit about how i view their relationship. now, they probably weren't in a very serious relationship, since theres this whole Magnus Locked His Heart Ever Since Camille thing, but Magnus and Freddie have SO much in common i cant really think this was just a fling, either. so here's what i think: magnus and freddie were good friends who sometimes hooked up and that definitely had chemistry to have something special, but it never happened because Magnus never fully allowed himself to give in to it and neither did Freddie - im assuming their relationship was in the 70s, since in the 80s Freddie met his husband, Jim Hutton, and at that time Freddie also had a hard time trusting and loving. also, Magnus was already in New York, so it couldn't have been too serious. but Magnus would go around to watch their concerts and every time he would find Freddie somehow (it wasnt that hard, really, you just had to go to the local queer scene) and they would sometimes hook up, sometimes just talk and enjoy each other's company, sometimes both. that's what i think it's most likely.

but the absolutely OFF THE CHARTS amount of vibing they must have done. i dont think you fully understand - unless you're a queenie trash bitch such as me - just how similar magnus and freddie are. here's a short, comprehensive list of Freddie Mercury Traits:

Freddie was seen and stereotyped as an overly sexual, lothario, diva and inconsequential kind of guy, and to some extent he put on this facade, but in reality he was extremely closed off and insecure and loving, and this was mostly a persona he put on to protect himself

Despite that whole persona, Freddie was an extremely compassionate guy who did everything he could to help others, particularly other queer people. His personal assistant, his chef, his chaffeur, all were other queer guys (sometimes his exes even) that had nowhere else to go and were in need of a job, and Freddie was just like "oh, would you look at that, you're hired now. I'm gonna pay you, hm, 3 million" it was so. When Jim lost his job Freddie hired him as a gardener. They literally met because they were talking in a club and Freddie was all like "lets all go to my house" and brought in a bunch of strangers to his home. That's the kind of guy he was. His house was always open as well

Freddie was loyal to a fault and a little bit too trusting, and was stabbed in the back a few times. The most well-known one is P*ul, who outed him against his will despite them having years of friendship, a blow that Freddie never fully recovered from, but there were others. Despite being a shy guy and reluctant to open up, he actually wore his heart on his sleeve and this sometimes ended up hurting him, a lot

Freddie felt absolutely lonely and like he was unworthy of being loved. This is not a secret, its a common theme in a lot of his songs, the most prominent of them being somebody to love. He wanted to be loved and taken care of but at the same time wouldnt allow himself

He was also very insecure. Jim says in his book that Freddie would frequently ask him, out of the blue, if he loved him, despite the fact that they were, you know, married (not in the paper, of course, but Jim bought him wedding rings and Freddie called him his husband, so i consider them married)

He was constantly scared of being an inconvenience. When he found out he had AIDS, his first instinct was to tell Jim that if jim wanted to leave him he would understand. Jim, of course, said that was bullshit and he wouldnt leave Freddie because of that

He was a perfectionist and always wanted to do his absolute best, nothing less. He was also a creative genius as we all know

He loved cats and would bring random cats into his home constantly

He loved fashion and pretty things

He was a queer, gnc man of color

He had a pretty protective side to him; queen's bassist, John Deacon, was extremely shy and said that Freddie pretty much shielded him from the press attention, and also helped him polish his song writing skills and always wanted him to do his best. After Freddie died, John quit the showbusiness.

I mean, remind you of someone? Holy fucking shit, i nearly lost my goddamn mind when they mentioned that he hooked up with Freddie, because they're so similar in their issues and insecurities and interests it's almost meta. I don't know if that was on purpose or not, but i thank the sh writers every day for that line tbh honestly i am so blessed

Unfortunately i think they might kind of be too similar - you get two very insecure, afraid to be hurt people who kind of have a persona together and it's kind of hard to have them have a meaningful relationship. But where Freddie was shy, Magnus was extroverted and easygoing, and there were always parties (something the both of them loved) and they had enough common interests to bond over. Also, they both couldnt help but wear their heart on their sleeves, even when they tried not to. And i mean, i am 100% sure that Magnus absolutely loved Queen, because 1- who doesnt? 2- the songs are so intense and heartfelt and beautiful and theatrical and that's right on magnus' alley; 3- the lyrics just speak to him, because there Freddie was, writing about wanting to be loved and fearing to open himself up, and there was also Brian writing all these songs about seeing your loved ones die, and Roger was a domestic abuse victim - there was just so much for him to relate too. So i can definitely see Freddie and Magnus staying up awake late at night, looking at the window and talking about themselves, their fears, the personas they have created and how hard it is to break out of them, when they were alone in a hotel room and everyone else who was at the party was gone. Just the two of them, having heart-to-hearts, then sleeping, but the next day the magic was gone and they were both back to guarding themselves - also, Magnus was avoiding getting involved with mundane men, if you go by my headcanon. so there was just too much holding them back

but it was still an important relationship that helped the both of them learn more about themselves and get a little more used to opening up and allowing themselves to talk about themselves. they didnt really break up as much as drift apart - Freddie had the band and Magnus was high warlock of Brooklyn and the political tensions in the downworlder community were high. But they both got their happy endings after all - Freddie met Jim and they were together until the end of his life, and Magnus met Alec, who will be with him for the rest of eternity too because i said so :) so its all good, in the end, and Freddie will always have a special place in magnus' heart, as both an amazing human being that he was honoured to meet and someone who was really, really important to magnus and that helped him become who he is today and be a little happier and more comfortable with himself

he still loves queen and listens to them constantly. sometimes its bittersweet to think about him, but most times its just good to hear these songs that mean so much to him and think of how far theyve both gone

#sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #magnus bane meta #magnus meta #sh meta #meta #ask #anonymous #overflowing trashcan #not gonna tag as queen cuz this aint gonna be very interesting to queen fans djdjfjd

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