#505 themed series

[our-flag-means-death-ao3feed]

Fairy Tales

by kindkit

Five childhood stories.

Words: 505, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 6 of OFMD Fall Festival Bingo Ficlets

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Izzy Hands, Jim Jimenez, Lucius Spriggs

Additional Tags: Drabble Sequence, Prompt Fic, Storytelling, Fairy Tale Style, Childhood, Gender Issues, Queer Themes

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/42265335

#Our flag means death #ofmd

[strawberry-sticky-autism]

I posted 614 times in 2022

That's 614 more posts than 2021!

109 posts created (18%)

505 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pinkiemeowstic89

@cherrycreamfairy

@velvety-vixen

@hiya-im-mary

@a-little-ray-of-fantasy

I tagged 609 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#autistic - 84 posts

#autism - 80 posts

#important - 80 posts

#lgbtq+ - 74 posts

#actually autistic - 69 posts

#trans - 55 posts

#autistic headcanon - 53 posts

#autistic headcanons - 51 posts

#transgender - 45 posts

#cute - 45 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#i'm pretty sure this is where i got the idea for the characters in my own fangan to pick up mementos of their deceased friends

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

55 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#4

Ideas for Precure Fanseries/Precure series in general

- Boy Cure who's a Cure for more than 1 or 2 episodes. - Physically disabled Cure (wheelchair-bound, prosthetics, cane-user). - Mute Cure! - Multiple boy Cures. - Another black Cure (either skin tone or theme colour). - Another white Cure (theme colour-wise, we've got plenty skin-tone-wise) - Nonbinary Cure? - Genderfluid Cure. - Another robot Cure (Ruru was good but we need MORE). - Puppet/doll theme. - Circus theme? - CLOWNS? - More redeemed villains, always. - Mentor figures that actually know what they're doing. - Less morally ambiguous royalty. - Space out the arcs. - Macguffins that have a purpose. - Worldbuilding~! - Do we need to make merchandise? - Even focus on each Cure. - Maybe we don't always need Macguffins. - Even focus on all characters, actually. - Don't make your villains feel one-dimensionally evil. - Complete. Your. ARCS. - You can make your villains irredeemable, but that doesn't mean you have to. - Cover heavy topics, but don't make it too dark or melodramatic. - Make up your mind on a tone. - Keep your main leads likable, but don't be afraid to give them flaws. - Blind/deaf Cure? - Alien Cure (Lala was pretty good so let's have MORE). - Give mascots focus too! But don't make them overshadow the Cures. - No more Plot Device/Deus Ex Machina Babies. We've got more than enough of those, just let the babies be babies. - Don't ship the Cures with the mascots. Just don't. - Don't ship the Cures with the villains, also. - Actually, don't ship the Cures with anyone below or above their age range. Seriously. - Don't shove heterosexuality where it doesn't belong. - Technology theme. - DON'T SHOW A CURE GIVING BIRTH ON-SCREEN I SWEAR TO KOTOHA- - Mama Cure! - More Trans Cures! - Art theme? - Dark Cures/Psycho Rangers? - Asexual Cures. - Jester? - More autistic Cures! - More autistic characters in general! - Autistic villains? Maybe? - Foreign Cures, better than the last time they were used.

Feel free to add on!

75 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#3

Why Medix is Almost Definitely Autistic

- Extremely logically-minded.

- Takes metaphors literally. (From "Life of the Party") Medix: Can you explain why everyone is upset with me? I would think being a stick in the mud is a good thing. To let you know how deep the puddle is, for example. Whirl: It's just a saying humans have. It means somebody who ruins a good time for everyone else. Medix: By using a stick. Whirl: What? No. Medix: So it's the mud that stops the fun? Now I see.

- Has a schedule and prefers to stick to it. (In "Medix Surprise", he dislikes surprises as he prefers to have things planned out and he gets annoyed at the other Recruits when they clean up all the leaves for him, because now he has nothing to do for a while. He also gets upset in "Heatwave's Shiny Coat" when Heatwave doesn't follow the dog-care plan he has)

- Takes a bit to recognise sarcasm or joking.

- Fixation on medic work (The Recruits think he loves bandages so much that it's a good idea to surprise with some) and animals.

- Gets along pretty well with animals/plants.

- Rather blunt at times. ("Critical Condition". Just, the entirety of "Critical Condition")

- Strong moral code (He became a Rescue Recruit for a reason)

- Hyper-organised. ("My cabinets are already fully stocked.")

- Possible stimming. (He bounces in the cockpit chair on the Sigma. He also dances to some pretty loud techno music)

There’s also this from the official TFWiki:

While not written as explicitly autistic, Medix was intentionally written in a way that left room for that interpretation. - From the Official Transformers Wiki.

https://twitter.com/bunfork/status/1427366530719834119 - Tweet from writer Ben Ward.

https://twitter.com/PeteSlatteryIE/status/1427370065415090179 - Tweet from writer Peter Slattery.

80 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#2

“Lock, Stock and Peril” AKA the episode that proved that both Molly and Scratch are almost definitely neurodivergent. 

89 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

HOT TAKE

All magical girls (and boys) are neurodivergent.

143 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #yeeeeeeeee #everyone's doing this #so I'm doing this #important

[lepajibiliba]

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  3, fiche pédagogique image format pdf 18 fiches de vocabulaire illustré. Edson Silva / CLIC FLE INTERACTIF - Apprendre le français en s'amusant - clicfle - Qu'est-ce qu'il y a dans ce livre Le Français en images ? Vocabulaire: Une centaine de mots images pour trouver facilement celui que tu cherches. Grammaire: Les Comment dit-on « un mot en anglais » en français ? Vous pourrez vous servir de ces images pour pratiquer le vocabulaire de base avec votre enfant. leur demander de trouver le vocabulaire en relation avec le thème. [PDF] mots a apprendre par theme. THÈME 1 : L'ÉCOLE – LA CLASSE – L'INSTRUCTION SERIE 1 leLe français en images est un livre illustré qui vous permet d'apprendre le Vocabulaire: Une centaine de mots imagés pour trouver facilement celui que tu Oct 6, 2015 - Read Francais en images_Complet by Les Éditions CEC on Taille : 24 MB Format : PDF Plus de 1000 Mots avec Jeux et exercices Instagram. que tu pourras partager avec tes camarades. Qu'est-ce qu'il y a dans ton livre? • Vocabulaire : Une centaine de mots imagés pour trouver facilement. Le présent document, intitulé Images et mots en famille, est un programme de œ Jouer avec les mots, les sons et l'intonation de la langue française.

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[spencersmagic]

Middle of Adventure - 505 series.

(found on pinterest).

masterlist // 505 series // taglist

summary: a part two to "greet me with good bye" (found here)

couple: fem reader x spencer reid

category: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: general criminal minds violence, mentions of guns, curse words (f*ck/f*cking), crying.

words: 1.8k

time to read: 10 minutes.

***

It was quite ironic.

The space between them had never felt as empty, as ruined, as it did right now. It felt like the love, the care that they had had for each other all those years back, all the patience and truth they had shared, had been stolen. The woman in front of them had done it for them.

The last two years seemed empty now. Emotionless. Worthless.

The feelings they had for each other had always been unspoken. Excluding a few instances, core instances that needed verbal confirmation, they had always understood each other without having to share a word. They were both profilers, for God’s sake.

Spencer’s fidgeting in the plane rides on the way back from a tough case was always understood by Y/N. She had always made sure to hold him, caress his hair or read to him when he was feeling anxious. Similarly, when she was feeling weird after an uncomfortable encounter with a disgusting unsub, closing in on herself, carrying herself differently, he would always pick up on it. He’d cover her with a blanket and tell her random facts about the stars, or lemons, or the first shoes discovered… Anything that could get her mind away from the filthy words he had spewed at her.

There were no words exchanged between. Because they always knew what the other needed.

Because they cared. And they wanted the other to be okay.

The lack of words didn’t mean a lack of communication. There was constantly a line of communication between the two of them, established through body language, looks and short beginnings of sentences right before the other picked up on what they wanted. Everything was clear between them. They always just knew.

This had taken time. Of course, it had. At first, they were clumsy. Y/N’s anxiety attacks had gone worse once when he had tried to distract her by talking about the climate crisis (a horrible idea, if you ask me). Similarly, she had learned that after Spencer’s rare, but long talks with Hotch weren’t the moment to make sarcastic comments about, well, anything.

All they had was silence and the promise to love the other if they needed it.

But right now, as they stood in front of the unsub, then woman who had been tormenting Spencer for the past few months with little letters, threats and promises to hurt everybody he knew and loved (or at least everybody who was left), it felt like nothing could ever be the same.

She had called herself “The Woman”, which Y/N understood. She wanted to be everything to Spencer.

She stood still, calmly, knowingly. Because nothing he did could change the course of action that was about to occur tonight. The stillness in the weapon she had aimed at Y/N made sure to make that clear.

“Why would I need to break up with her, Clara? Y/N and I aren’t together” Spencer repeated calmly, trying to focus on his training so he could try to ignore the soft sobs that Y/N was letting out.

The gun rattled as Clara shook in anger.

“Bullshit! I’ve seen you together. For God’s sakes, I’ve seen the way you fucking look at her. You-“she laughed manically “You look at her like she’s hung the fucking stars – like you’re supposed to look at me! So don’t you dare fucking lie to me “. She was met with silence.

“You know…” tears welled in her eyes, strong façade faltering. “You were going to come back. We were supposed to meet, and you were supposed to love me like I have all these years. You abandoned me!” she screamed. “And now you’re with-with her”.

Nothing.

“Do it or I will shoot her!” she screamed, sending spit flying around. Flinching, she shakily repeated Clara’s words.

“Do it, Spencer. I can take it” she spoke clearly, forcing her voice to sound unworried.

It was quite ironic. Because they had been in a similar situation at the beginning of their relationship. And it would end like this, too.

“I can’t, Y/N. Y-you know I can’t! Why are you making me do this?!” he raised his voice suddenly, ripping his lungs open as he sunk down onto the floor. He crumbled upon himself as he sobbed. “I can’t. I can’t do it, Y/N.” he repeated over and over, the last bit of self-restraint leaving his body. “I can’t do it. You are everything. I c-can’t hurt” he hiccupped.

Y/N’s eyes absorbed Spencer every little movement and tremble. She felt as though he had kept her heart right up until this moment, bubble wrapped and intact, but now he was crushing it as he hugged himself tightly. It was too much to bear.

“Spencer, if you don’t do it, I will” she whispered. He looked up, tear eyed, and looked at Clara. Her smile was wide now, red nose, enjoying the scene that was unfolding in front of her. Spencer stood up shakily.

“Clara, you were my classmate in school. Having the chance to go to university, don’t you think I had to take it? Did- Didn’t you want what’s best for me?” he tried to reason. “You love me, right? Don’t you want me to be happy?”. She smiled sadly at him.

“I do. But not if it’s with her”.

He turned to Y/N, eyes filled with tears. “Y/N” he requested. Still, she couldn’t bear looking at him. “Y/N! Y/N. Please look at me” he shook. She turned.

“Y/N…” he whispered, taking a look at her, bloody and beaten. “Y/N, I can’t live without you. Since I met you, I haven’t been able to.” He paused. “You’re everything. I don’t how to live without you”.

“Spencer, you will have to learn. The middle of an adventure is such a perfect place to start” she whispered back. His face changed completely, eyes wide and surprised.

**

“Oh god! This is so tedious. When can we leave?” had whispered Reid, curling a lock of her hair around his finger.

“We’re here as guests, Spencer. It would be rude of us to leave” she had reprimanded him, seemingly unaltered by his puppy dog eyes.

“But-but my love” he all-but-whined. “I wanna go home”.

“Yeah? You “wanna go home”? Or are your pants getting a little bit too tight from staring down my top?” she shot back. He didn’t dare reply.

“Do you want to play, or not?” Y/N clarified. He nodded eagerly. She grabbed him by the hair as they slow-danced in the middle of the lounge with the other couples at Rossi’s new wife’s mansion.

She pulled him close, lips close to his ear in such a way that appeared innocent to outsiders. Her words, though, were another story.

“Okay, love. “Adventure” is our safe-word. I’m going to tease you and, the moment I bring up that word in conversation that’ll mean that you’ve done well and should now play along. I’ll make up some excuse and we can leave this god-awful party. Sounds good?” once again, he nodded eagerly.

**

“You know, Clara. Maybe you’re right” Spencer begun, looking into her eyes. “If she’s so okay with letting me go, she clearly doesn’t deserve my time” he swallowed his tears, hoping he was being convincing.

Clearly, Clara didn’t need a lot of convincing. After all, she had been looking for every single indicator in his words and looks in front of the camera to believe he was madly in love with her, and seeking her out.

She lowered the now-forgotten weapon, throwing it on the ground and herself on Spencer.

“You really think so, my love?”

A pet name Spencer had heard coming from Y/N, and had never felt as disgusting as it did in that moment. Spencer couldn’t even think about what it was doing to her.

He just nodded, hugging her back as convincingly as possible.

Sometimes, we do what we can to make our loved ones happy. Sometimes, we stay. Other times, we leave. We give and give for them. At the end of the day, it’s human nature to want to created strong bonds with those you love the most.

Spencer and Y/N weren’t an exception. They gave so much to each other – to their relationship. They loved with such a love that is only seen in movies, with a passion that only occurs during the darkest hours, and a heart that has only been broken and mended over and over.

In retrospection, Clara is no different either.

As Spencer pushed her off, Y/N threw herself to the ground to grab the gun, did a somersault and pointed it at her. Right on cue, Morgan and Prentiss burst into the old warehouse, pointing their guns at Clara.

“Step away from my boyfriend, you bitch”.

**

It felt almost surreal.

Especially to Spencer, who had been battling with the thought of her for the past three months. It felt like this moment would never come – like a breach in the space-time continuum had been formed and he was now experiencing a reality parallel to his own.

But feeling Y/N’s touch, hearing their mutual comforting words, stumbling like their relationship had been, was grounding. Perhaps not comfortable, or stable, of secure just yet. But it sent a message to both of them. “No matter what happens, no matter how many variations exist in your life, I will never be one. I’ll always be here”.

“You were supposed to come back! You were supposed to love me, and give me a beautiful life. Why didn’t you?” they heard Clara screaming. Tears were streaming down her face as the cop sat her down.

“You could’ve sent a letter, Clara” he reached to grab her handcuffs, which were clasped behind her. Y/N watched the entire scene unfold before her eyes, tears still cascading down her cheeks.

“Would that have made any difference?”

“It’s time to go, Ms. Sondermann”.

“Would it? Or would you have stayed with her?”Spencer stayed silent. “Don’t think you’re anything better than me. You did everything for her! Just like I did. You’re no different than me.” she screamed, as Prentiss pulled her away.

Spencer turned to look into Y/S’s eyes. She looked so different when the fear of losing her wasn’t looming around. Tired, of course, from the three day search, but hopeful.

He hadn’t seen her hopeful in so long.

As he closed in on her, looking so purely loving, she immediately understood. the dust settled and she realized just how much he had been through.

She suddenly understood.

**

The lack of words never meant a lack of communication.

There were no words exchanged between. Because they always knew what the other needed.

She spread her arms, ready for his embrace at the same time he ducked his head to hold her around the waist. His lips twitched, all the unspoken words at the top of his tongue.

“i-i know, love. i know” she spoke between sobs.

Everything was clear between them. They always just knew.

**

guys that's the end of the 505 series!!! i hope you liked it.

i'm super sad that it's ending, but the fics i've got in mind are really cool, and i can't wait to write them + share them with you all <3

(im lowkey feeling nostalgic - i've fallen in love with this take on the characters and their dynamic).

taglist: @lady-anon-x @username2002 @eoupe @galaxydefenderjulia @spencerreid-mgg @spenxerslut @urie-bowie-mercury @onyourfingertips @big-galaxy-chaos @fiftyshadesofspencerreid @tbuhgs @exhaleli

tags not working: @huntheimpossible @idontwantyourcookiesthanks

you can join my taglist on the link at the top

happy reading. i love you. stay safe and happy <3

#spencer reid #spencer reid x yn #spencer reid x reader #505 #505 themed series #spencer reid x fem reader #criminal minds #cm #criminal minds fic #spencer reid fanfiction #fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #angst #criminal minds angst #spencer #reid #mgg #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine

[hauntedwitch04]

How about fluff moments with Andrew! Peter Parker x reader with fluff prompts number 29, 34, 35.... 🔥🥵❤😍 !!!!!

A/N: I LOVE THIS IDEA! It's just so cute, omg I'm gonna melt! Hope you like this hun.

Themed masterlist I Themed Day I Taglist I Fluffy Friday

“Your bed head is really cute." 

“You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”

“It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today!" 

Although Y/N and Peter have been together for a while, this is the first time they have slept together. The boy had spent entire days setting up the house, with the attentive help of Aunt May who meanwhile teased him about how agitated he was. The evening was rather quiet: they ate at home, watched a movie, and then dozed off while this one still went cuddling on the bed.

In the morning the first to wake up between the two is Peter, who stops to look at his girlfriend, captured by her beauty. Soon after, however, she opens her eyes, feeling observed. She smiles to see the boy's face bathed in light, so beautiful and perfect.

"Your bed head is really cute." Peter finally says, moving a strand of hair behind her ear.

"It's nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today! It's so attractive."  The girl replies without thinking, as Peter bursts out laughing. Her cheeks immediately become hot with embarrassment as he leaves a series of kisses on her face as he thanks her.

Then Peter stops and speaks up again:

"You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out? I think it's a chip." Their laughter rings through the apartment again and nothing matters more than that.

Taglist (I have to update it so probably not everybody that sent the request to be added is in it, so sorry)

• @rayi_isthehoe • @idli-dosa • @rainelikerain • @shadowolf993 • @winchestergirl222 • @goldenharrysworld • @xoxoloverb • @s-we-e-t-t-ea • @daph-505 • @micrososoft • @ethereal-lovers • @nyx2021 • @uwiuwi • @vjmoral • @drayshadow • @siriusstwelveyears • @itsmeseph • @hallecarey1

#tasm x you #tasm x reader #tasm!peter x reader smut #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!spiderman x reader #andrew garfield x female reader #andrew garfield smut #andrew garfield x you #andrew garfield x reader #andrew garfield #becky's writing #fluffy friday

[nriacc]

Dance Little Liar | NRIACC: Part 8 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis 

Plot by @imagine-that-100​ and @ghostlightqueen​

Written by @ghostlightqueen and @imagine-that-100​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 13.3k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Okay so this is a fun part. Strap in, the rollercoaster is well and truly beginning x

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

You’re sitting on Matt’s settee, next to Alex as you typically are, half listening to the lads talk about their upcoming tour. You’re beaming with pride, your closest and oldest friends had come so far and showed no signs of slowing down.

They’d been discussing setlists for a while and came to the decision to take a little break. Matt just got up and offered to grab everyone a drink.

Alex is looking over the couple of alternate sets they’d all come up with. Nick and Jamie have both popped out to the garden for a smoke so with Matt gone as well, you lightly punched Alex’s shoulder.

“Hm?” He hums and looks over at you.

“I’m so proud of you guys, Al.” You grin at him.

He grins back, “Thanks, Y/N/N. You listened to this one yet?”

“New album?” You ask him and he nods.

“Yeah, ‘course. Soon as I got it.”

You’d forgotten you were in Manchester when it had been released, so you hadn’t gotten to tell him your thoughts, since you were busy with Adam and his friends over Easter - and Alex was busy until you headed back to Manchester for the summer.

You and Alex really hadn’t seen much of each other this year, apart from your birthday and the few days you were back from Manchester. But it was understandable, the band was doing phenomenal and you were focusing on your other friendships and general life things.

Not to say you didn’t miss the hell out of Alex, Matt, Nick, and Jamie, or drinking in the park, or Matt’s house parties. Because you really did.

But you’re brought out of your thoughts when Alex lightly pinches your thigh with a mischievous smirk.

“‘Ey, what?” You hiss at him slightly.

His smirk makes you feel a little nervous after flirting with him over the last half of your summer away. You’re not too sure if it was going to continue in person, but with the way he’s looking at you now, it makes you think it’s going to. And you actually want it to continue.

“What’s your favorite track?” He asks, and the amused grin on his face clearly tells you that he’d asked you the question already but you were too caught up in your thoughts to hear it.

“That, as usual, is a very difficult question, Shakespeare.” You chuckle back.

You shift in your seat, now resting your legs in his lap and leaning a bit closer to him with a slight smirk. His hands run up and down your thighs as he waits for your answer.

“Did Matt get lost?” You chuckle, wanting to change the subject.

“Matt!” You call toward the kitchen.

No response.

Certainly feels like a bit of a set up the more you think about it. The rest of the boys should be back in here by now.

“What’s your favourite?” Alex repeats his question.

You know what he wants you to say.

“Hm,” You think and try to remember all the other tracks on the album, but Only Ones Who Know is cemented in your mind.

505 pops in your head as well and you let out a sigh inside your brain.

Literally any other song aside from those ones, come on.

Balaclava was the next track that comes to mind, you’re fairly sure that one has nothing to do with you.

“Balaclava," You answer and Alex is a bit taken aback, he looks at you in confusion for a minute.

“What?” He laughs in disbelief.  

“I don’t know,” You laugh back, “You guys just sound like you had the most fun on that.”

That isn’t necessarily a lie, but it being your favourite on the album is.

“I like the bass in it.” You shrug.

That, again, isn't a lie.

“You like the...” Alex chuckles, baffled, he shakes his head. “I didn’t expect that one.”

You tease him straight back, baiting him to say what he wanted you to, “What did you expect?”

“Don’t really know, I guess,” He shrugs and looks down as he starts to trace shapes on your thighs.

Maybe he just hadn’t been obvious enough that the songs were about you. Alex knows he’d tried to be discrete on their first record, but with this he hoped you’d catch on.

Alex is brought out of his thoughts when Matt comes back through and he quickly takes his hands off your legs.

“Took you long enough,” You chuckle as Matt passes you the drink you’d requested.

Matt dismisses your teasing as Nick and Jamie also come back in. They hop back into discussing their setlist again.

“When’s this one start?” You ask about their UK tour.

“Couple weeks," Nick answers you and you nod.

Matt asks with a teasing grin, “You gonna miss us, Y/N/N?”

“Yeah.” You grin, adding “Obviously.” as you roll your eyes.

“Why don’t you come with us?” Alex asks, rather impulsively.

“And do what?” You chuckle.

“Ah, just have fun.” He grins at you. “Live a little,”

“I’m sure Alex wouldn’t mind sharing his bunk with you,” Matt smirks and that prompts Alex to crumble up one of the setlists they’d decided against and chuck it at his friend’s head.

Matt dodges it as he laughs. You laugh a bit as well.

“If you guys really don’t mind, I’d love to come.” You smile.

“Ah, we’d love to have you around again, Y/N.” Jamie smiles at you.

Matt truly can’t help himself when it comes to teasing Alex about you. “Al especially,”

“Would you...” Alex begins and attempts to kick Matt in his shins.

Matt laughs and moves his legs just out of Alex’s reach. You look at the time, starting to feel tired from everything you’d done today.

From getting your new ferris wheel tattoo on your left ankle this morning, to having dinner with the whole family, saying goodbye, and coming back home, you’re just drained.

“Well, much as I love you all, I think I’m gonna head home and to bed, I’m exhausted.” You announce as you stand up.

When you got back from Manchester, you were only at home long enough to drop your bags off before you headed over to Matt’s. You’d missed them too much to be apart for any longer.

“I think I’m gonna head out too.” Alex announces. Matt raises an eyebrow as he looks at you two.

“Discrete isn’t really your style is it, mate?” He asks.

“Matt, I swear to god,” Alex looks over at him, Matt just silently laughs and takes a sip of his beer.

“Ah, he’s right though,” You giggle as you gently pat Alex on the cheek. You proceed to tease him a bit, “You gonna walk me home, Turner?”

Something about being back was different this time. Maybe being specifically in Matt’s house, the same house you and Alex had kissed in so much, made your feelings for him bubble back to the surface.

Yeah, you definitely want the flirting to continue.

Your face heats up as you remember almost everyone staring at you two as Alex led you up to Matt’s room the night after, all those years back. You smile though, if you had to pick which one of the fools you missed the most, it’s always going to be Alex.

“Yeah,” He answers your question and you smile at him, he grins at you a bit. No doubt remembering what exactly happened the last time he walked you home. “I’ll walk you home, Y/N/N.”

You two head out, hands brushing against the others’ as you walk down the road toward your house. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable but you and Alex both had a tendency to go quiet if you were nervous. A fact you both knew about each other, which made the silence interesting.

“You rem-” You both start the same question and laugh together.

“You go.” He smiles at you.

“You remember that spin the bottle game?” You ask curiously.  

“The one that made you want to murder Josh?” He chuckles and then nods, “Yeah.” You two slow as you reach your house, Alex looks over at your face, his usual goofy grin spread over his lips.

You nervously ask, “What?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, still grinning.  

“Nothing, with that grin of yours... Okay, sure.” You laugh, before prying,  “What’s on your mind, Al?”

The way he was looking at you made you want to hold your breath. It reminded you of how he looked at you the night of Matt’s party, before you went up to Matt’s bedroom. Needless to say, if your Mum wasn’t due home within the next hour you’d invite him in and up to your room again.

“Remember the night before the party?” He asks in a whisper as he gently grabs your hips.

“Yeah.” You smile taking a small step closer before teasing, “You know sometimes I swear there’s still bruises on my boobs from you.”

Alex laughs at that a little but your heart thuds a little quicker when he says, “You’ve not let me be lucky enough to make anymore.”

God, you definitely want to bring him back up to your room.

You raise your eyebrows a little and point out, “You never let on that you wanted to make any more.”

Seeing a small amused smile come to your best friend's lips, he asks, “Were the hints not good enough?”

Truthfully, other than the short kiss you shared on your birthday; you had no idea Alex had any further interest in you. Yeah, the texts were a little flirty, but you didn’t expect him to put all his cards on the table for you to see like he is doing now.

“You could just ask.” You say as you look into his brown eyes.

You can tell that there’s intent behind all his words, but you can see from the way he reacts to what you just said that he didn’t expect you to be as confident in encouraging his advances.

His eyes never leave yours as he smirks, “And you’d say yes, would you?”

The way his hands have a tight grip on your hips make you want to lean up and kiss him here and now. But the tension is too much fun and feels too good to break yet.

“Why don’t you find out?” You encourage him, wanting him to make the first move.

“Could make some right now?” Alex offers with a grin playing on those lips of his. The way he’s looking at you makes your stomach flip, and you almost feel breathless when he asks, “We have time, don’t we?”

“Not a lot, but enough.” You nod, entirely down for something quick if he is.

Your best friend grins, “Should have left them earlier, shouldn’t we?”

You’re nodding with a smirk dying to make its way onto your lips, and it seems that the both of you have the same idea to head towards your front door as you take a step back and Alex steps forward. Your heart is already thudding at the thoughts of having him in your bed again and you think he’s leaning down to kiss you until someone ruins the moment.

A car door shutting makes you two jump a bit, resulting in Alex's hands falling from your hips and him taking a step away. Turning to see where it came from, you see your Mum getting out of her car and when she turns to get the shopping from the boot, she sees the two of you.

“Oh hello, Alex!” Your Mum greets him cheerily.

“Hi, Y/M/N.” Alex smiles as he greets her, but you can tell he’s a little gutted just like you are.

“How are you?” She asks as she walks over to the two of you, “It’s been a while since we’ve seen your face around here.”

“I’m good, thank you.” He nods politely, giving her a warm smile.

You don’t quite know how he’s managing to talk to her because you want to throttle her for being a cockblock. You’re fuming.

“That’s wonderful, your Mum was telling me your band has been quite a hit.” She says and Alex nods again.

You want to roll your eyes. She knew they headlined Glastonbury; it was quite obvious that they were doing well for themselves.

“Yeah, it’s going good,” Alex smiles at her before looking back towards you.

Alex knows about your ever-distancing relationship with your Mum, so he no doubt feels a little awkward in the conversation despite him knowing her for years.

As your Mum quickly puts the shopping bags into the house, you ask your best friend and quietly ask, “Do you have a free house?”

Hearing that makes Alex smile, but he bites his lip to stop himself from letting it get too big. Knowing that you want him again makes him want to kiss you here and now, but he stops himself because he knows your Mum will ruin it. Instead, Alex just shakes his head to answer your question, but he leans down to whisper, “Next time, Angel.”

Alex likes seeing the way you get a little flustered at his promise, and it’s even better when you can’t say anything back because your Mum comes back outside to lock her car and ask him another question about the band.

“Well, uh,” You chuckle before your Mum can ask Alex anything else, “Thanks for walking me home, Al.”

“Yeah.” He smiles at you. “Anytime, Y/N/N.”

“Well, we hope to see you more often.” Your Mum tells him.

“Thanks. I’ll try and come by more.” Alex says and then grins at you slyly. “See you later.”

“See you soon, Al.” You nod, trying not to let a grin tug your lips up.

As Alex continues up the road towards his house, you stay outside watching him as he heads off. You have no idea why, if asked you’d say because your Mum was still standing there, but little did you know she was observing the way you were looking towards Alex.

But before long, you feel your Mum’s eyes on you, so you glance away from Alex and over at her. She's smiling at you.

“What?” You question with a little smile.

She seemed to be in a good mood this evening, and that was always a bonus.

“Oh, nothing.” She chuckles as she heads inside.

“Everyone and their ‘nothing’s.” You mutter as you follow her.

~*~*~*~ November 6th 2007 ~*~*~*~

You’d been on tour with the lads for a little over three weeks now, and things had been fun. You were certainly happy to be spending so much time with some of your favourite people again.

Things with Alex were... different.

In a good way though. You two were over anything sour that had happened in the past and were just enjoying each other’s company. The two of you weren’t discrete about it either, Alex always seemed to have his hands on you in some way.

If you two were sitting on the settee, then your legs were in his lap and his fingers were tracing shapes on your thighs. More often than not before and after shows, on the walk to and from the bus, Alex would hold your hand or wind up carrying you on his back back to the bus, or into whatever venue the lads were playing at.

The bunk you had claimed as yours was empty every night as you typically ended up sleeping in Alex’s with him, the two of you cuddled close to each other in the confined space. With anyone else, it would’ve been claustrophobic, but with Alex it felt nothing but content.

Mornings you were often awoken with a few soft kisses to the crown of your head and then to your forehead. A couple of days over the tour, the lads would be gone for interviews but Alex seemed to make it a point to kiss you before he left as you decided to just hang out in the bus while they did their thing. You needed at least some time to try and do some of your assignments for your Masters.

Today is one of the days when they all had to go out for an interview and Alex is reluctant to leave. The others are all annoyed, waiting at the door as he kisses you once more, probably for the fifth or sixth time since he said he was going.

You both laugh as Matt shouts, “Fuck’s sake, Al, she’ll still be here when we’re done. Come on!”

He kisses you once more, making your three other friends groan and roll their eyes but he leaves with them shortly after. You find that your heart flutters long after he’s gone though, and starts again when you get the text from him saying that they are on their way back.

You busied yourself on the days that they were off for interviews, either doing uni work, or just doodling or reading. You did need to start putting uni first a little more, but the pull you felt to be near Alex when he was around made you forget all about those responsibilities.

However, today was a day where they had an interview then had to go straight in for soundcheck before the gig, so you were set up on the couch keeping an eye out the window so you could pop in and listen to soundcheck. You’d heard all of them, but you weren’t tired of listening to the band set up. It was interesting to hear things before everything was properly set up and then listen to them talk things over with the sound guys.

By the time a couple of hours had passed, they had all returned. You slipped your shoes on before joining them, and Alex hung back from the rest of the lads to wait for you.

“Hey, Angel,” He grins as you walk over to him. He puts his arm around your shoulders and kisses the side of your head.

“Hey, Shakespeare,” You grin back at him, “How was it?”

“Ah, the same twenty questions everyone else has asked.” He mutters and you chuckle as you two begin to walk towards the venue. “Lads wanna go out after the show tonight.”

“That sounds fun.” You nod, enjoying the feeling of his thumb caressing the side of your hand.

“Hm,” Alex hums and smiles at you before suggesting, “Was thinking maybe you and I could stay in instead?”

“Oh?” You laugh as you raise your eyebrows at him, “And what do you have planned for us while we stay in?”

“Maybe... watch a film.” He stated, “Little bit of us time.”

“Mhm.” You hum trying to suppress your smile.

You and Alex had all but started dating since that day at Matt’s, or it certainly felt like you two were. The words hadn’t been spoken but with how he was acting with you - between the kisses and small touches here and there, sharing his bunk - you didn’t know what else to call it besides dating.

Especially considering sharing his bunk wasn’t as innocent as the both of you were making it out to be.

Maybe you’d ask for confirmation tonight, or just wait until Alex brought it up. Either way, you were enjoying yourself and were happy to have some time just to yourself and Alex.

“If you know what I mean.” He smirks at you, making your heart rate pick back up again.

“Oh, I’ve got a pretty good idea of what you mean.” You giggle.

The late-night antics in his bunk weren’t all that innocent. You’ve both gone past make out sessions and light dry humping at this point. Before you both came on this tour that was all you’d done as you both seemingly wanted to draw the tension between you out, but the confined proximity of staying on their tour bus with them has made things more intense.

The things Alex would whisper in your ear and tell you what he wanted to do to you when you were both alone and in private made you want him even more. Some of the things he’s told you were filthy, yet you wanted every single second of what he’d describe to you. You want this tour to be over and done with so you can go home, and he can have his way with you in private.

Each make out session has progressed a little further, and the nights after his gigs last week were the closest you two had come to shagging again since that night years ago. Hands roamed everywhere, feeling how both of your bodies had changed over the years and you loved every second of it.

But two nights ago, it went further.

It was the dead of night and you knew everyone was asleep because it was well past 3am and you and your best friend had been talking innocently until then. He was one of a few people in your life you could chat to for hours on end and never get bored but then when the both of you ended up kissing, you both got carried away.

Both of you were fully getting off with each other to the point where you both wanted more, and you got it. Alex’s hand found its way into your pyjama shorts where he ended up fingering you until you came hard.

When he started, you had to hide yourself into his neck to stop yourself from making any of the noises you desperately wanted to release. Your skin was hot and sweaty as his fingers moved and curled inside you and by the time, he had you finishing on his fingers, you had to bite down on his shoulder to stop from moaning loudly.

After you regained your ability to do anything more than clutch your best friend, you knew when you watched him taste you on his fingers that you had to get him off too. You didn’t feel obliged to, you just really wanted to, so you gave your best friend a handjob until he came, and you had to kiss him to shut him up.

You didn’t intend for it to go that far, but you were thankful it did. The release of the weeks of tension made it so good, you just wish you could have had the freedom to make the noise you wanted to though. But after that night you told Alex that it couldn’t go any further, primarily because you weren’t about to shag him with the majority of your friends in such close proximity.

“A night in sounds excellent.” You grin and kiss him as you two pause at the stage door.  

Alex grins and kisses you back, and you like the way he grips your hips, feeling like you were meant to be in his arms like that. You had a feeling that the kiss held a much deeper meaning other than the common ‘good luck for your soundcheck’ one that it was meant to be.

There was a mutual understanding behind this one.

A silent ‘I can’t wait.’

And before the others shout at you, ruining the moment once again, you and Alex share another knowing look as you two head inside. A look that holds exactly the same message. You’re excited that you won't have to be quiet tonight. 

Soundcheck and the show itself goes by quickly. You linger just off stage, tired from spending most other shows in the crowd. Alex would grin over at you periodically, mostly during the songs about you, or during ones he knew you really enjoyed.

You thought by now that you’d be used to the look he gives when he sings 505 or Only Ones Who Know. The latter seems to make you blush the most; Alex always lean in close to the microphone, his eyes lingering on you periodically but also making sure to scan the crowd so no one catches on.

The few weeks you’d been away, you’d heard people talk about the song, a lot of them saying it was bittersweet and maybe they were right. But you were one of those only people who knew what he was talking about in the song, so maybe you didn’t see the bittersweet that everyone else did.

You’re brought out of your thoughts when Alex sends an air kiss your way, which makes you laugh.

The lights go down and the lads return backstage. You smile as Alex wraps his arms around your waist and kisses you sweetly, your breath catching as your lips meet once again.

The sudden action makes you giggle against his lips though, and you don't hesitate to kiss him back. You two part and smile at each other, the look once again clear as day.

Neither of you could wait to get back on that bus alone.

You really don’t know how these feelings had crept up on you so suddenly. Well, in theory, it wasn’t that suddenly.

Alex had been round at your house quite a lot before the tour began in mid October and you got closer and closer as time went on. The flirting progressed into what it was now, and you guessed a connection of some sort must have still been there since you first looked at each other in the way that you were doing now.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t have kissed you on your birthday, nor would he have been flirting with you over the summer, or falling into whatever this dynamic was. There was always that pull between you. Ever since the day you first slept together.

“Y/N/N, you coming out with us?” Matt asks as you all head back towards the bus.  

“Not up for it tonight. Thanks for the invite, though.” You tell him as you give the others a smile, “You guys have fun.”

“I’ll stay in with you, Y/N.” Alex grins at you, even though you both already knew this was the plan.

It made Jamie, Nick, Matt, and Miles laugh out loud though. It was so loud that it even drew some attention from some crew members which you wanted to scold the lads for.

“You guys should really work on being more subtle.” Jamie tells you two.

You really try your best not to let it fluster you, because no matter what happens tonight you wouldn’t be telling them anything. They could theorise all they wanted, but you wouldn’t be telling them shit.

But when Matt jokes, “Just don’t do it on the couch, yeah?” you just want to hide yourself in Alex and never escape his embrace.

“Maybe put a towel down if you do.” Miles quickly adds and the lads, aside from Alex, all laugh.

“Right, leave us to it then.” Alex laughs, brushing them off with a shake of his head.

He also shoves Miles playfully, seeing as he was the closest to you two. As you say your goodbyes to your mates, who were in search of a pub, you feel your heart start beating faster due to the anticipation of finally being alone with your best friend that you fancy to death.

You both take your time walking back to the bus, hand in hand, not wanting to raise suspicions from anyone else who might be around. As you do though, you feel nervous and excited all at the same time.

You definitely want this, and the fact you know performing gets Alex into that sort of giddy turned on state anyway means that you're really excited for what was to come. After all, you can’t deny that seeing him on stage wasn’t just as hot.

Alex’s hands and lips are on you as soon as the bus door shuts behind you. You can’t help but let out a soft laugh as he seems frantic about it, the buzz obviously getting to him too.

“Al, calm down,” You chuckle as you pull away a bit, “We’ve got time.”

“Been years though, hasn’t it, Angel?” Alex asks as his lips return to your neck, “Forgive me if I don’t have any patience left.”

“Alex.” You laugh a bit, tangling your hands in his hair and giving it a gentle tug.

Alex lets out a low hum against your neck and holy fuck, you love that feeling.

He was right, it had been years since you two had actually slept together, and clearly getting seconds away from it over the past few weeks had worn away any patience the man had left. It had worn yours away as well.

Alex pulls away from your neck and kisses you hard, forcing you to kiss him back with just as much enthusiasm, and his arms go around your waist as yours go around his shoulders. He begins to walk you back towards the bunks, but you two don’t quite make it there. Instead, the both of you fall back onto the couch.

Alex makes quick work of both of your tops and like he had before, he makes sure to leave marks on your chest, which you find just as pleasurable as the first time he’d done it. When he returns to kiss your lips once more, you decide you want to give him some back.

If he could claim you as his own by leaving an abundance of love bites behind on your skin, you sure as hell wanted to do the same. You slowly kiss down his jaw to his neck and take great pleasure out of the noises he was making. However, when you gently begin to suck on the flesh just above his jugular, he stops you.

But he pulls away quickly with a sudden breath of, “Don’t.”

“What?” You ask in confusion as you prop yourself up a bit on your elbows.

Alex is hovering over you, looking like he’s just been caught doing something bad, but you’re just confused and waiting for an explanation or an okay to continue.

“Just…” He trails off, but then says, “Not in the mood to have the lads give me shit for it.”

You can understand that completely.

“Okay.” You chuckle, giving a little tug on his hair again to pull his lips back down to yours,

Alex kisses you again and things pick up as quickly as they had the first time. Your bra hits the floor next and he admires your body, calling you, “Beautiful” once again. You really can’t help but laugh when Alex’s lips descend down to your chest again, as a combination of his breath and hair tickles you.

“What?” Alex chuckles as he looks up at you lovingly.

“Nothing,” You shake your head, a massive smile on your lips as you say, “Let’s go to your bunk though, don’t really wanna get interrupted.”

Alex nods in agreement and you two move quickly back to Alex’s bunk. You had just enough room to straddle your best friend when he got into the bunk, so that’s what you did. And you enjoy letting his hands explore your hot skin as you make each other breathless all over again.

Alex coaxes moans out of you when his hips buck up into yours, as both of your jeans create a pleasurable friction. But the groans that Alex lets out for you when you grind your hips down into his, turns you on more than you let on. Well, the noises he’s making, and the fact that his clothed erection is pressing against you.

Your best friend can’t seem to take much more of your teasing though, as Alex flips the two of you over, trapping you beneath him this time. It was very much like the first time you two had done this, except for the added years of experience with other people now meant you each knew what you liked a little more.

“Jeans.” Alex mutters, and you get what he means. You push your jeans down and decide to take your underwear with them.

Alex kisses you passionately again, and you can feel the electric energy between you when his hands start to wander down your body. The hum of satisfaction you release against Alex’s lips when he gently trails his hand down your body, seems to be enough encouragement to progress things even further.

As soon as his hand travels between your legs, you can’t quieten the loud moan that escapes your lips. Alex finds your clit instantly and he teases you with those circular motions until you’re releasing soft sounds against his lips, and when he adds a little more pressure, the way you tug on his hair causes Alex to moan.

The settee definitely would’ve allowed for more freedom of movement, but you aren’t mad about the fact you two have to be as close as possible to not fall out of the bunk. Alex kisses down your jaw and starts to leave marks along your neck and chest again as he proceeds to work his fingers in and out of you.

You can feel the familiar build-up of pressure in your lower stomach. But you think the fact you’d been putting the intimacy off between you for the last few months just makes you all the more desperate for him. It still all feels new, as if the other night didn’t happen and this was the first time either of you were getting any relief.

“Al, please.” You breathe as you feel yourself getting closer to your orgasm.

You need this. You need him.

Feelings like the ones you currently harbour for Alex hadn’t been felt since you first started going out with Peter. But these feel more intense after being let down by Peter so badly for the last year of your relationship.

The feelings for Matty had been different. You promised each other to not get attached and even though you planned to stick to that, the lines between friendship and relationship had definitely started to get confused as the end of summer grew closer.

Since you first slept with Alex though, you’d wanted a relationship with him. The build-up over that summer all those years ago had the possibility to blossom into such a good relationship, and you feel like this is your second chance at it.

A chance that you both seem to really want to take and make it work. You want your Alex in the way you’d had him over the past few months, all the time.

You let out a soft whine as Alex pulls his hand away from between your legs, obviously wanting to prolong your pleasure and achieve your highs at the same time. Alex kisses your lips again and you reach down to undo his jeans, but as he’s not quite as nimble as you, Alex has to hop out of his bunk to take them off properly.

You really can’t help but let out a soft giggle as what you were doing was sinking in. About to have sex in a bunk bed on a tour bus - you were living every girl’s fantasy who had a crush on someone in the music industry. It feels like the most natural thing in the world with your best friend though.

Alex is back within seconds and returns to kneel between your legs. But as he hovers above you, you watch as his brown eyes take in your body once again.

Your heart flutters fast in your chest when he smiles, “Beautiful as ever, Angel.”

Your chest feels like it’s about to burst at that comment as he now reaches into one of the mesh pockets on the wall of his bunk. You roll your eyes, trying to play the comment off naturally, but smile back and pull him down into a kiss, not caring that you’re just making it harder for him to find what he was digging for.

Alex laughs a little against your lips, before his tongue meets your own again, savouring the bliss it provides you both. Despite that though, he pulls out a condom from the mesh pocket and gets it on himself quickly.

Your best friend asks you reassuringly if you want to continue, and when you nod that you do, feeling as comfortable as ever as it was with him, Alex kisses you softly once again. It settles every nerve you have, and you want him so desperately. It dawns on you just how much you like him.

God, you really, really like him.

He grunts when he sinks into you initially, and the sound frankly catches you off guard. You were used to the way Matty would moan after the summer you’d spent with him. But Matty wasn’t who you should be thinking of now.

Alex pulls away from your kiss, taking your bottom lip with him for a moment how he knows you like. It causes you to whimper for him, now there is an overwhelming sense of pleasure filling your body.

Your pleasured moans just increase Alex’s desire, as after the first few thrusts, and reassuring kisses, Alex sets a quick pace with a groan of, “Fuck” falling from his lips.

You can’t remember if you two were this loud the first time, but you certainly don’t mind the noise. If anything, it brings you more satisfaction, knowing that you were the cause of those sounds rising up from Alex’s chest and falling from his lips.

Finding the pleasure building in your body almost too much, you find yourself needing to dig your nails into your best friend’s skin almost to ground you to him. But, like before when you tried to mark his neck up, you find that Alex removes your hand from him and back down to the bed so your grip tightens on the sheets instead.

You think nothing of it though, as a second later, Alex brings his hand up to the end of the bunk to brace himself against it as he buries his hips into yours time and time again. His other is keeping him hovering over you, and you both try to kiss each other as much as possible. But at this point you’re just finding everything too much as you’re moaning into the other’s mouths.

Everything about this feels amazing. It’s hard, fast, and hot, and it works you up perfectly. You can feel that familiar ache spreading through your lower stomach as Alex fucks into you over and over. Unable to hold it, you gasp when Alex’s hand goes back down between your legs, starting to play with your clit again.

It seems that Alex is closer to his climax than you are because you can almost feel him holding himself together, stopping him from finishing yet. Your best friend applies more pressure to your clit which definitely builds your orgasm faster and when he switches from kissing your lips to your neck, you know you’re almost there.

Tomorrow you’ll find that you’re only left with love bites on your chest, where no one would see. You really didn’t mind that though, as they were a bitch to cover the first time.

Alex orgasms just before you this time around and whilst it causes his hips to falter when colliding with yours. However, his fingers continue to work on your clit as he moans into your mouth, loving the feeling of you wrapped around him and pulling on his hair. He has you finding your release a few seconds later, and he takes great satisfaction in feeling your legs shaking around his own, before clamping around him when the pleasure overcomes your body.

You two part, only enough so he can rest his forehead against yours, silently catching your breaths. Whilst the bliss slowly subsides, Alex and you just silently maintain eye contact for a few minutes, both your hands are now in his hair, playing with it like you usually find yourself doing most days in a far more innocent setting.

Alex seems to be taking great pleasure out of the mundane sensation of having someone play with his hair. And your heart warms once again when he grins at you, before proceeding to brush your nose against his.

After another minute, Alex places a soft kiss on your lips, just a quick one, through both of you panting. Unfortunately, the moment doesn’t last as long as you wanted it to.

Alex is out of you and his bunk shortly after that quick kiss and he pulls you with him, ushering you to head to the toilet before he has a shower. After one more passing kiss as you remerge out into the bunks, you hear Alex start the shower in the bus and you decide to get yourself ready for bed.

You go over to your bunk briefly, grabbing the shirt and shorts you usually sleep in and slipping them on. You go back out to the front area and grab the clothes that had been discarded there, basically just cleaning up before everyone else comes back.

Because you and Alex aren’t telling them anything.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A couple of days later, it was the lads’ biggest gig on the tour to date, and everyone was buzzing. This arena is big enough for them to have a dressing room each, if they really wanted to.

You and Alex had just been out to a shop for pre-gig drinks and cigarettes. You two were laughing and chatting as you headed back to the venue, both silently thankful that nothing had changed between you since the other night.

If nothing else, you just felt closer to each other. Another secret shared, presumably until you both decided on what to label your dynamic, because ‘best friend’ didn’t really seem to fit right anymore. After the other night, it was definitely more.

Best friends don’t have sex with each other.

You make your way back into the large shared dressing room, where the rest of the band was hanging out, you were surprised to see a stunning woman, tall with wavy brown hair. She was standing around like she was waiting for someone.

Her eyes land on you and Alex, more so him, and she smiles brightly. She heads over to your best friend immediately and excitedly greeting him, “Alex!”

Alex drops your hand at the door and goes to her immediately, but your heart sinks as you watch him wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her sweetly.

You aren’t the only one who’s surprised. Really, Miles seems like the only one who wasn’t surprised.

Matt, Nick and Jamie all look at you, just as shocked as you are. All quite clearly in the dark about whoever this girl was.  

But all you could do was stand there helplessly and watch. You had no idea what you were witnessing, yet the dread you feel seems to slowly spread through your body again.

Alex introduces everyone to this girl, Alexa, and only when Alex turns to introduce you last, does she take note of you. But when she does, she seems genuine and friendly.

But you want to cry when she asks with a smile, “Oh, Y/N, his best friend, right?”

She has no idea.

You spare a glance at Alex, and his face is void of emotion, with an expression you were unable to read. You aren’t sure if it’s because you’re hurt or because you just didn’t know him as well as you thought you did.

“Y/N?” Alexa asks again, bringing you out of your head.

“Huh, yeah... Best friend I guess.” You nod before adding in a strained laugh, in an attempt to act normal, “I mean after Helders, obviously.”

The sweet girl engages in conversation with the lads for a few minutes, but you could only hopelessly stare at your best friend. But he keeps his eyes off you like you’re the plague.

All that does though is solidify the hurt that spreads through you.

“Um, I’m gonna....” You point over your shoulder at the door, not looking at anyone in particular as you slip out of the door. But not before you grab the drink you’d picked up.

You hurry out of the room and out of the venue, your mind hazy and completely spinning. What the hell was happening?

“What the fuck!” You shout a bit louder than you meant to and drew the attention of the security guard nearby.

“Sorry.” You tell him as he raises his eyebrow at you.

You sit against the wall and light a cigarette, bouncing your knees as you smoke. The stage door opens and you sigh in relief as Matt walks out.

“So, what the fuck was that?” He tries to joke because you very clearly need to laugh.

You just shake your head. Matt frowns and sits next to you, your friend putting his arm around your shoulders and giving you a gentle squeeze.

“I should go home.” You state blankly.

“Ah, Y/N/N, no.” Matt replies, before trying to prolong what was meant to be a fun trip for you, “Come on, we’ve barely got to hang out with you, stick around for the rest of us?”

You couldn’t help but worry that everything would just be tarnished from here on out though after witnessing whatever the hell that just was.

“Matt,” You sigh and look over at him, he’s pouting and it makes you laugh a bit. You push his face away from you playfully, “Stop pouting, you’re a grown man.”

“Stick around,” He nudges you, offering, “You can have fun with the rest of us. Nick, Jamie, and I will take you out so you can pull someone else.”

You chuckle a bit but nod, seeing no other way to either get back at Alex, or get over him. Depending on what this Alexa was to him.

You just feel complete numbness take over your system though, the chuckle was completely fake and just a means to appease Matt.

“There she is.” Matt grins and squeezes your shoulders again.

Standing in the wings of the stage was awkward this time, as Alexa is standing next to you. You were polite with her, you had no reason not to be.

But just from the little bit of interaction you’d seen when you went back inside with Matt earlier,  it was clear that she and Alex were together.

The band started up Only Ones Who Know and there was a lump in your throat as they performed it tonight.

“Oh, I love this one.” Alexa says from next to you.

“Yeah.” You say plainly, distantly nodding,  “Yeah, me too.”

Alex spares a glance in your direction but you know he’s looking at Alexa tonight, seeing as when he catches your eyes for a second he quickly looks back out to the crowd. You look away from him too, your grip tightening on the neck of the bottle you hold.

Knowing they don’t have many songs left, you mutter, “‘Scuse me” to Alexa and make your way out to the car park quickly.

You feel claustrophobic, trapped standing next to Alexa and watching Alex sing that song. Your legs give out beneath you and your stomach churns suddenly, you throw up onto the gravel that was in the car park.

It’s unexpected, a visceral reaction that accompanies your overwhelming emotions. You brace yourself against the wall until your body has nothing left to throw up. You stand up and wipe your mouth.

“What the fuck?” You repeat what you had yelled earlier, but it was a whisper this time, just for yourself.

You pick up your bottle of beer but your stomach churns again. You muster up as much strength as possible and chuck the bottle straight at the building across from you, only a meter or so away, before watching it shatter and fall to the concrete ground.

You push your hair back and head back to the bus, you really can’t go back backstage and watch anymore. Depending how long you could last on the tour, you know the rest of the shows you would either spend on the bus or in the crowd.

~*~*~*~ 22nd November 2007 ~*~*~*~

Alex’s attention has been completely taken by Alexa.

The ciders you’d had throughout their gig and the couple you’ve finished off as everyone hung out in Lord knows whose house, were definitely fueling your jealousy and annoyance more than dulling them. Miles plops down on the sofa next to you and kicks his feet up on the coffee table that separated you two from Al and his apparent girlfriend. Miles lightly flicked the underside of your chin with a low chuckle.

“What’s got you grumpy, Y/N/N?” He asks, despite the knowing smirk on his face.

He and all the boys in the Monkeys knew why your mood was so low. Though, maybe the one that mattered the most didn’t.

“Nothing, Kane.” You mutter and take another drink of your cider.

“Oh, super grumpy.” Miles feigns hurt, seeing as you typically called him Miles or some sort of nickname.

By now, Miles knew you well enough that if you didn’t quip back, you were actually upset.

“How long has that been going on?” You ask subtly nodding to Alex and Alexa, and you add in another scoff, “And what kind of narcissism does it take to date someone with a variation of your name?”

“I can only answer one of those.” Miles tells you with a soft chuckle.

“Oh,” You let out an annoyed whine as you look up at him, “Please tell me it's the narcissism one.”

You regret asking how long Alex and Alexa have been a thing as soon as the words left your mouth. The thought of all the kisses and intimate touches you’d shared with Alex over the few weeks of this tour made you sink back into the sofa.

“‘Bout six months now.” Miles answers how long the couple had been together.

You hum in response as you take a drink of your cider. Yep, you want to cry. You’re quiet for a few minutes, Miles stuck by you, mostly trying to cheer you up with dumb jokes.

You look back over at Alex and Alexa in time to see him bite her bottom lip as they pull away from a kiss.

“Dick.” You seeth more to yourself than anyone in the room as you stand up and make your way to the kitchen.

You toss your empty bottle in the bin, along with the others, and grab another before going out to the garden. It was fairly vacant so you gladly took the opportunity to get away from people for a minute and sit down.

Your moment of solace was interrupted by Jamie. Something that you didn’t mind at all, at least it wasn’t Alex.

“Heya, Cookie.” You greet him.

“Hey,” He gives you a sympathetic smile as he sits next to you. “How ya doing?”

“Am I that obvious?” You chuckle slightly.

“Only to the people that know you and Al the best.” Jamie states and you sigh.

“Yeah, well, you’d probably feel the same if he’d been trying to get into your pants this entire tour all whilst having a girlfriend.” You point out and Jamie laughs a bit.

“Sorry, shouldn’t laugh, you’re right.” He nods.

The both of you sit there in silence for a few minutes, until you offer Jamie a cigarette and he gladly takes one after you get one for yourself. You don’t chat as you smoke, you both just take an occasional sip of your drinks and you find that you crave the comfort of him just being there for you.

And you feel so much better in yourself, until the couple comes outside along with another group of people. You immediately deflate and Jamie can tell straight away.

Alex was joking around with a few other lads that you’d never seen before and Alexa comes over to you and Jamie after she spots you both sitting down. She stays standing up as pleasantries were exchanged, and she asks you and Jamie how you were both finding the party.

You find it easy to make conversation with her, as she is a nice and interesting person. It truly is a shame you’d met in the situation you found yourself in, because in any other situation you’d love to be really good friends with her.

“Lexa” Alex calls her and he silently asks for her cigarette which she happily gives him.

He comes over and has a drag of it and holds her waist just like he’d done in the months prior when you both went out of a cigarette. He would always have his head buried into your neck leaving teasing kisses there as you smoked, but after a drag or two he would always insist on you sharing the cigarette.

You pay him no attention as he was doing that, you just continue your conversation with Alexa. In that space of time you manage to finish your drink, and you know you’d need another soon.

Especially with Alex hanging off Alexa and being a fucking beg every so often for a drag. After a spell of him being particularly needy, you and Jamie roll your eyes discretely whilst Alexa just giggles like a schoolgirl.

You couldn’t even blame her though. You were in her shoes a matter of weeks ago and it felt amazing having his attention like that.

The thought of it now just repulsed you.

“Don’t know who we think we are, sharing a cigarette” Alexa giggles a little at Alex and then down to you and Jamie as she takes a drag.

“Quite the pair,” You smile up at her as best you can, but you knew she couldn’t tell you were being sarcastic.

Alex probably could, but you don’t spare him a glance. Jamie, however, you glance at, and you can see he’s looking at the ground trying to hold back a laugh.

You nudge him a little, not quite being able to hold back your little chuckle. So, you both silently laugh. You rest your head down on Jamie’s shoulder after he nudges you back and you both sit there softly giggling as you smoke.

Alexa looks back down at the both of you then, and thinks that you both look like quite a cute pair. So, she asks you a question that she’d actually been curious about.

“Do you have a boyfriend Y/N?” Alexa asks you, smiling down at you.

That question hits you like a baseball bat to the stomach.

You pick your head up off Jamie’s shoulder and shake it whilst taking a long drag of your cigarette. You hold the smoke in your lungs for a moment before you say, “Not anymore.”

She can hear the sadness in your voice when you say it, so she hesitantly asks, “What happened? If you don't mind me asking.”

“Oh, where do I start?” You say reliving the last year of your life in your head.

And upon doing so, you just wished you hadn’t left Manchester.

You strongly debate telling Alexa a version of the truth from the boyfriend you thought you’d just lost. You debate saying that you were deceived and tricked into bed by someone you thought you trusted.

But Jamie was next to you, and you didn’t want him to know you actually had sex with Alex the night they all went out. You and your best friend were both good liars and both of you had managed to convince them when they came back that nothing had gone that far.

You just didn’t know how good of a liar Alex actually was.

“I was in a really shitty relationship and some of my friends knew about it, and kept on pushing me to get out of it. Whilst I was away in Manchester I kissed one of my best friends. I felt guilty, came home and told the guy, it ended, and I cried about it,” You give her a very brief overview of the first half of your year.

You flick the end of your cigarette to the ground as you say, looking at her, “I shouldn't have cheated though. What goes around comes around, I guess.”

Your eyes flick to Alex’s and he doesn't even have the balls to maintain eye contact. He just guiltily looks away from you before pulling Alexa towards him and his hand slides into her back pocket.

“I’m sorry,” She tells you, “You deserve better than to be treated like shit.”

“Thank you Alexa,” You smile.

You really wanted to add ‘tell your boyfriend that’ but you didn’t have the energy anymore. Especially when he pulls her over to stand by the wall with him, so she’s leaning into his body and their faces are just inches apart again.

But Alexa’s attention was still mostly on you. She offers you a smile and says, “Don’t know who thinks they can treat you like that anyway. You’re gorgeous and you deserve better.”

You smile at her compliment but then Alex just has to go and be a cunt. Your dickhead of a best friend starts kissing her neck then and you literally see her melt in his arms.

Just like you’d done a matter of weeks before.

“I’ve clearly just got ‘gullible’ written on my forehead,” You say as you stand up, not giving anyone a second glance, as you disappear down the alley by the side of the house.

You weren’t going to sit there and watch him kiss her neck whilst she was chatting to you about heartbreaks, when he’s just caused you your worst one.

You just want to feel numb, and the only way you thought you’d be able to achieve that was to smoke some weed. So, you were really glad you spotted that guy by the front of the house earlier smoking it.

“Y/N,” You heard Jamie call.

You shout back, not bothering to turn around as you walked away, “I’m going to smoke some weed Jamie, not to kill myself.”

“Just wait a second,” He instructs and you try to keep the tears that are threatening to form in your eyes away as you stop.

The pressure in your head hurt, and you just didn’t want to be on the verge of crying every day anymore.

You turn back to look at your friend and you see him give you a sad smile. You’re sick of everyones pity, too.

“I’m sorry, you know?” Jamie tells you, taking a deep breath when he reaches you.

You ask him confused, “For what?”

“For what he’s done,” Jamie says, and you can feel the lump forming in your throat.

But he continues, “If I'd known... I would have told you... We all would have told you.”

You appreciate him telling you that a lot more than you think he would ever know. You feel betrayed by Miles, considering you’d become such good friends with him over the past few months, but at the end of the day it was Alex’s fault, not his.

“You don’t deserve that...” Jamie tells you as he sees the tears starting to form. “No one does”

You try to swallow away the lump in your throat, but it persists and it hurts. So, you just whisper, “I just feel like a complete mug” and you wipe away the lone tear that fell down your cheek.

“I’m not surprised” He says before he pulls you into a hug and the affection just makes you break a little.

“I just wanna go home, Cookie,” You whisper into his ear in the most pained voice Jamie ever thinks he’s heard.

“I know it probably doesn’t mean much but you’ve got us,” Jamie tells you as he keep you in his embrace, “And you can be assured that when she leaves we’re gunna boot the fuck off at him.”

You smile into his shoulder when he tells you that, but you’re shocked when he tells you, “Matt’s already done it once but it was cut short because people walked in.”

“Really?” You ask, surprised because you hadn’t heard about it.

More than likely Matt was trying to spare your feelings. But you want more than anything for Alex to get a comeuppance, even if it was just Matt shouting at him.

The knowledge of that makes you a lot happier.

“Yeah, really,” Jamie nods,  “We love you Y/N/N, and he’s being a prick. He’s not getting away with it."

“Thank you, Cookie. I love you,” You tell him, giving him another tight squeeze.  

“Love you too, Hun,” Jamie says before he kisses your temple.

~*~*~*~ 7th December 2007 ~*~*~*~

You weren’t entirely sure how you’d handled the past two weeks, as Alexa had joined the tour as well. Much to your dismay. She wasn’t here for a week's stay like you and the rest of the band initially thought.

Not that you would’ve picked things up with Alex again, but you could’ve at least chewed him out for it. You’d really only stayed at the request of Matt, Nick and Jamie. And you were having fun with them for sure - Miles as well.

You two got on better than anyone expected. Alex was pleased at that fact, since he and Miles were about as close as you two were. But that friendship had been a little more distant since you’d found out he knew about Alexa all along.

You roll the tension out of your neck and shoulders as you stand up from the settee. Even when you’re mad at him, you still want Alex to be happy. It frustrates the shit out of you.

“Where you going?” Matt asks as you head for the bunks.

“For a smoke!” You call back and go to grab the pack you’d bought at the last stop earlier in the week.

The bus was stopped for the night, having arrived at the stop for the gig tomorrow a couple of hours ago. You grab your rucksack and dig through it, grabbing two empty cigarette boxes.

“Well, that’s probably how I’ve been dealing with this shit.” You mutter to yourself and toss them on your bed before finding the newer one.

You grab your lighter as well and head back up to the door, you step down and open the door when it swings open in front of you. Alex stands at the foot of the steps and you hear Alexa laughing outside.

“Oh.” Alex and you breathe together.

Unsurprisingly, you two had been avoiding each other as much as possible since Alexa had arrived.

“Go ahead.” He says and steps out of the way, holding the door open and staring at his feet.

“Thanks.” You mutter and slip out past him.

You head away from Alexa’s laughter, glancing over your shoulder for a moment as you walk. You catch Alex staring at you for a second before he panics slightly and goes back onto the bus. You roll your eyes and take a cigarette out and light it.  

Despite being a bit away from Alexa, you can still hear her conversation clearly. She must have been on the phone with one of her friends, you assume.

“He really is just so sweet.” She gushes to her friend about Alex.

You roll your eyes, if she knew how you two had been before she showed up, she probably would’ve left. You should’ve just told her, called Alex out immediately.

But he seemed happy, so you decided against it. Pushing your feelings out of the way for the sake of his. Because he is, or maybe was now, your best mate and you wanted him to be happy.

“Oh, I’m just going to read this to you... Alex gave it to me when I got here.” She giggles.

You know you should’ve gone inside then, but you continue to smoke. But a minute later you find yourself completely regretting the decision to stay outside.

“Okay, ready?” She asks and takes a deep breath as she recites, “My mouth hasn’t shut about you since you kissed it. The idea that you may kiss it again is stuck in my brain which hasn’t stopped thinking about you since, well, before any kiss.”

Your knees give out a bit and you let yourself sink to the wet and dirty pavement beneath you. You don’t make any sound to accompany the tears that start, figuring Alexa may hear you. And you want to hear the rest of the letter. Sadistic as the notion of hearing Alex’s affirmation of love to her is.

“And now the prospect of those kisses seems to wind me like when you slip on the stairs and one of the steps hits you in the middle of the back.”

You close your eyes tightly and put your hand over your mouth to muffle any noise that might escape.

“The notion of them continuing for what is traditionally terrifying forever excites me to an unfamiliar degree.” Alexa giggles. “Isn’t that so cute?”

She gushes and you force yourself to stand, despite your legs still feeling like they’d give out from underneath you at any given moment.

The only direction in your mind being: Away.

Away from the bus.

From Alexa.

From Alex.

“Fuck.” You let out in a strained sob as your knees buckle again but you catch yourself against a bin.

You hope that you’re far enough away that she can’t hear you, or that she has gone back onto the bus. This is your breaking point, you can’t pretend like everything’s okay anymore.

“What the fuck?” You say to yourself.

Betrayed and broken are words that describe how you’re feeling. The hurt is constant in your chest now, and the tears that are cascading down your face just prove it.

You pat your pockets down for your phone, cursing yourself when you realise you’d left it to charge in your bunk. You don’t have any strength to get yourself back up though, so you find yourself sitting on the dirty pavement, trying to slowly piece yourself back together.

You have no idea how long you ended sitting crying for, but it couldn't have been any more than a total of twenty minutes because you hear your friend shout your name.

“Y/N/N!” Matt calls from behind you, but you can’t face shouting back with a broken voice, so you just pick yourself up off the floor and turn around.

Not yet noticing your condition, Matt wanders over and laughs a little as he asks, “What are you doing all the way out there?”

You glance around, not really realising just how far away from the bus you’d gone. Alexa must have gone back inside a while ago now. Matt closes the space between you and his usual playful grin drops as he notices you’re crying.

“Y/N.” He coos and gently steadies you once he notices you’re shaking.

Thank God for Matthew J Helders the third. You think to yourself.

Matt doesn’t even ask what was going on, he knows. So, he just hugs you tightly, Matt truly gives the best hugs out of all of your friends. You cry a little harder as you lean in his hug.

“Need anything?” He asks and you pull away as you wipe your eyes.

“Could you, uh, grab my phone from my bunk?” You ask him. “I think... I’m gonna call my cousin. Leave. I don’t wanna stick around anymore, sorry.”

“Oh, don’t apologise.” Matt says and gently squeezes your shoulders. “I’ll go get your phone, just come back a little closer to the bus, it's a bit dodgy out here.” He chuckles a bit.

You nod and walk back to the bus with him. You lean against the back of the bus as he heads back in. You let out a shaky sigh and decide to light another cigarette.

You’re definitely still crying and at this point, wiping away the tears isn’t doing anything but soaking the cuffs of your hoodie sleeves. So, you stop bothering to get rid of them. Matt returns with your phone and passes it to you.

“Thanks.” You sigh and he nods before giving you a sympathetic squeeze on your arm, heading back onto the bus.

You sigh and call Adam, thankful it was fairly late and therefore the time of discounted call charges.

“Hello?” Adam answers groggily.

“Hey, Ad, sorry I know it's late.” You sniffle a bit.

“No, no worries, are you okay?” Your cousin asks and you hear him shuffling around before the click of the light in his dorm room turns on.

You take a deep breath and say, “Uh, no, not really.”

“Has something happened? Aren’t you still on tour with your mates?” He asks.

“Yeah and uh,” You try not to cry as you say it but your voice is strained. “Alex has got a girlfriend.”

“Oh.” Adam replies.

“Yeah.” You mutter.

“Alex Alex?” He asks for clarification.

“Yeah, Alex Alex.” You nod, even though he couldn’t see you.

“I’m sorry, B. Are you going home?” He asks.

“Uh, that’s actually why I was calling?” You laugh a bit. “I’d really rather come see you lot than go home now.”

“Yeah, course.” Adam says. “I’m not home but I’ll call my Mum and let her know you’re coming, I’m sure she won’t mind… You coming in the morning?”

“Uh, yeah, probably. I don’t wanna wake her up now.” You nod. “Thanks, Adam.”

“Course.” He replies.

“Right, I’ll let you go now.” You take a deep breath. “Sure you need plenty of sleep for whatever biochemistry class you’ve got tomorrow, you absolute nerd.” You tease him and he laughs.

“Thanks, Y/N/N.” He shakes his head. “You get some sleep too, don’t worry about the dickhead.”

You laugh a bit, it was breathy and strained, a light sob was hidden behind it. “Thanks, Ad. I love you.”

“Love you too. See you soon.” He replies.

“Yeah, soon.” You nod and hang up.

The next morning you wake up before the rest of anyone on the bus and quietly pack your things. You write a quick note to Jamie, Matt, Miles and Nick; purposefully leaving out Alex’s name because pettiness gets the better of you.

Nothing too detailed, just that you needed to go home and you hoped they had a great rest of their tour and loved them all. You also ask Matt in your note, to hold onto anything of yours you may have forgotten on the bus.

You sigh a bit as you take a final glance at the main area of the bus, any fun times that included Alex had definitely been soured now. You shake your head and walk out with your bag, calling the number for a taxi service you’d seen in an ad last night and thankfully saved to your phone.

You decide to smoke while you wait and as you take your first drag you hear the bus door open. You hope to literally every higher power that it is anyone but Alex, hell, you’d be alright with Alexa coming out here at this point.

You could at least tell her a lie that you were going to go help your Aunt or something, she wouldn’t be able to tell you were lying. But God obviously hates you.

There Alex is, hair a mess, still in his pyjamas. He holds up the note you’d left.

“You’re leaving?” He asks and you look away from him. Hoping that if you don’t look at his face you won’t start crying like you had last night.

“You shouldn’t read things that aren’t addressed to you.” You say plainly as you take another drag.

“It's not...?” Alex mutters and looks at it again. “Oh.” He frowns. “Why?”

“You’re not an idiot, Alex, you know why.” You reply, glaring at nothing in particular across the street.

“Angel.” He sighs.

“Don’t call me that.” You say, probably a bit harsher than needed.

“Y/N,” Alex corrects himself before he continues. “I didn’t mean to...”

You scoff, “Didn’t mean to what, Alex?” before you turn your glare to him. “Treat me like your girlfriend for these past few weeks?” You spit.

In reality it had been the last few months though. All while he was 6 months deep into his relationship.

“I was going to tell you about Alexa.” He says and looks away from you.

“Yeah?” You ask. “When?”  

He didn’t say anything for a minute.

“I don’t know, eventually, I guess.” Alex shrugs.

“Before or after you got me back into your bed?” You spit venomously as you glare at him.

Alex shifts his weight, clearly uncomfortable with the confrontation from you. A strained and awkward silence settles between you two then. Something that has never happened in all the years you’d know each other.

“You know what, Alex.” You sigh. “If you’re really so in love with her, you shouldn’t have been fucking about with me so much.”

“Y/N.” He sighs and takes a step towards you. “I’m not...”

But you cut him off and hiss, “Oh, fuck off.”

“The notion of them continuing for what is traditionally terrifying forever excites me to an unfamiliar degree.” You quote the letter you’d overheard Alexa reading last night and his face drops more than you thought it even could.

The entire thing had been on repeat in your brain since last night, replacing Only Ones Who Know and 505effortlessly.

“Sounds like love to me.”

Alex begins, “How’d you...”

“I overheard her on the phone last night.” You say.

“Oh.” He nods.

You hate the awkward air between you, when just a month ago you would have been curled up into his arms at this time in the morning. The thought just makes the lump in your throat more prominent though.

“I...” He pauses for a moment, definitely trying to think of the right thing to say. “I hope this doesn’t change anything... With us.”

You scoff again and look away from him. The fucking audacity. The nerve.

“Y/N. Please, I fucked up, I know.” He sighs, almost pleading with you to understand with his eyes.

“That’s an understatement.” You reply and sigh in relief as you watch your taxi pull up. “You’ve fucked up, again.”

Alex’s face twists to a bit of confusion, “Again? What are you on about?”

“Joanna.” You say simply as you flick your now finished cigarette to the ground.

The realisation hits him a bit harder than you thought it would. It may have been four years since that summer, but it still upset you if you thought about it.

And now he’s just gone and done it again to a much higher degree.

"Please, wait a minute." Alex pleads, grabbing your hand gently as you pick up your bag.

"Fuck off." You snap, pulling your hand away and head towards the taxi.

"Y/N, please!" Alex tries again, clearly panicking now, he pleads, "Please let me explain."

"As if you could ever explain this, Alex." You shake your head, turning back to towards the taxi.

All you want to do is cry at this point, you want to be in the taxi and free to let your emotions out. You're so tired of holding everything in. You need to go, and you need to go now.

But Alex rushes after you, this time he grabs you by your waist as he needs you to stop, "Please, lets just talk."

"What else is there to say?" You turn back towards him, taking a step back to get yourself out of his hold.

His touch makes you feel physically sick. You want him nowhere near you.

"You've been fucking your girlfriend every night for the past month with me a bunk away from you! I can hear you both in there!" You can feel the tears threatening to fill your eyes as you speak. You're really not doing well at hiding your emotions because you even sound sad when you say, "And you don't give a single shit... You're doing it as if you weren't fucking me in the same bed days before she got here."

Alex looks shameful, as he rightly should after all the shit he's pulled. But you drive the point home as you continue so he understands what consequences his actions have.

"You've lied to me for months..." Your really using everything in you not to burst into tears as you say, "You've led me on for months, Alex."

And it really cuts you deep in the heart when he can't even look into your eyes as you tell him that. You think he owes you that much after all the shit you've had to watch him and Alexa do whilst she's been here.  

He only looks back up into your eyes when your voice cracks as you say, "I don't even know who you are anymore."

"Please," Alex looks emotional too now, but you turn to walk the short distance left to the taxi. His call of, "I'm sorry." doesn't stop you though.

"Sorry doesn't cut it." You shake your head, not looking back at him.

As you open the back door of the taxi, you tell your so-called 'best friend', "If you find anything of mine, give it to Matt. I asked him to keep a hold of my stuff for me." And you give him no time to respond as you get in the taxi quickly.

"I..." Your best friend starts but you shut the door on him. Alex steps back and looks away from you as he lights up a cigarette. But you don't give him any satisfaction of looking at him again.

"Train station please." You tell the driver and wipe a few tears away.

He glances at you in the mirror and gives you a soft, sympathetic smile before nodding and driving away.

~*~*~*~

You had tried your best not to cry at all while you were on the train to Manchester. Tried was maybe too strong of a word because by the time you pulled into the station, your eyes were red, raw and puffy and anytime you wiped tears away with the sleeve of your hoodie, it stung.

You knew you looked like an absolute mess, but you couldn’t really bring yourself to care. Your Auntie was picking you up and you knew once she saw you upset that would just mean a day of her trying to cheer you up. And you welcomed the thought.

You also knew that when Adam was able to, he would make his way home to hang out with you. You definitely had a feeling that hanging out with the boys would take your minds off things with Alex.

You head out to the front of the station, searching for your Aunt. Instead you see a familiar mop of brown curly hair, you can't help but smile at how excited Matty looks to see you.

He smiles brightly, waving at you. You sniffle a bit, still on the verge of crying again but Matty’s presence definitely holds the tears at bay. So, you gather a little more composure before you walk over to him.

You are a few steps away from him and he quickly closes the space between you two, capturing you in a hug. It really hadn’t been that long since you last saw him, but that didn’t really matter to Matty, he always loves to see you.

“Heya, Wheels.” Matty smiles as you hug him back.

“Hey, Curly. Nice surprise.” You tell him as you two part.

Matty’s eyes look over your face, he can tell you’ve been crying and is a bit sad that this impromptu visit was more because something upsetting had happened and less of a spontaneous trip to come see everyone. You give him a small smile but there is still some sadness in your eyes, and it breaks his heart a little.

“Come on then, let’s go.” He grins as he throws an arm around your shoulder and grabs one of your bags.

You chuckle a bit as you two head over to his van. Matty puts your stuff in the back and you two get in, Matty smiles at you as the CD he had in starts up. At this point, he just wants to make you laugh and smile as much as he can.

You laugh a little as he sings along to the song, he switches between faking playing guitar and drums. It definitely picks up your mood. You and Matty spending the drive singing along to some of your favorites and him goofing off was making you forget everything that had happened, at least temporarily.

Your phone chimes in your pocket and you check it, a text from Alex.

Miss you Angel xx You want to throw your phone out the window as you feel tears start again. At this point you are more frustrated than sad, you shove your phone into your bag and drop it onto the floor.

The motion makes Matty look over at you, he was planning on just asking what was wrong when you two got to your Aunt’s house but now you’re crying in the passenger seat of his van, and he hates seeing you cry and not doing anything to comfort you. So, he pulls into a car park and parks before turning to you.

“What’s going on, Sweetheart?” He asks you softly as he gently places his hand on your thigh.  

“It's nothing.” You mutter, swiftly and harshly wiping the tears of your face.

The stinging sensation again makes you wince a little bit. You just want to be done crying over Alex and you’re exhausted that your body won’t let you stop.

“Y/N.” Matty coos. “You look like you’ve been crying for days, this isn’t nothing.”

You sob but quickly cover your mouth, knowing he hit the nail on the head. Matty quickly undoes his seatbelt and moves to the small open space between the two front seats.

The hug was awkward, Matty elected to just kneel in that open space and wrap his arms around your waist, his head basically resting on your chest. You rest your head on the top of his and basically just sob into his hair as he holds you.

“You’re alright, Sweetheart.” He mutters and places a warm kiss on the only spot he could reach, which was your collarbone.

The feeling warms your broken heart for a few seconds and you really appreciate the comfort he brings you, whether the hug was awkward or not. You can’t wait to get a proper one.

After a few moments, you relax, your sobs turn to small shaky breaths and you try to fully regain your composure. Matty pulls away and reaches up, gently tucking some of your hair behind your ear. His other hand takes yours and gives it a gentle squeeze.

Matty asks in a whisper, “You wanna talk about it?”

“Not in a Tesco’s car park.” You say with a soft and shaky chuckle.

“Fair.” Matty smiles at you a bit, “You wanna go to mine or Hann’s?”

“Yours.” You tell him, you figure his house was likely empty asit typically was, and you just want to be with Matty right now. You’ll see your family and other friends later.

Matty nods and squeezes your hand again before moving back to the driver’s seat. He doesn’t let go of your hand, not until you two arrive at his house and even then he is reluctant to let you go at all.

You decide to leave your stuff in the van and follow Matty inside. He shuts the front door behind you two and gives you a proper, much needed hug. You close your eyes and let yourself melt into his touch as you hug him back.

He was familiar, and that was something that you needed right now. Matty had never once failed to bring you comfort when you needed it most and you were grateful he was here to give you it now.

You and Matty head up to his room once you release him from the hug, you take comfort in these familiar surroundings, too. Matty is patient, waiting for you to be ready to explain what was going on, and whilst he wants to know badly, he never once rushes you.

He picks at the tear in the knee of his jeans and looks up at you as you take a deep breath before you begin to explain your truth.

When you tell him about the time you’d spent on tour with the lads in Arctic Monkeys, you expect him to tease you about it as he typically did when you brought them up. But from hearing the full story of why you were so upset, Matty had come to realise that you weren’t fibbing about knowing them.

There was no way you could be this devastated about someone you didn’t actually know. Matty was watching your heart break all over again as you explained the last few months to him.

Matty would admit there was a bit of jealousy in his heart as you told him what you and Alex had been doing on the tour, but he just pushed it away. You need his comfort right now, not his resentment for the fact you chose someone else besides him. Matty knows that your summer was meant to be just that, a summer. So, he keeps his mouth shut as he listens.

You tell him everything. Except the part about you and Alex losing your virginities to each other.

You may be pissed off at Alex, but you two had promised each other a long time ago that it would stay between the two of you. And so it would.

Instead, you tell Matty that Alex has been your best mate for years and that you two always seemed to pine after each other and how you thought maybe, just maybe, this time would be different. You cry again as you start to tell him what had happened.

But only when you calm yourself down do you realise who you’re talking to. You feel a twinge of guilt, sitting on Matty’s bed telling him about your feelings for someone else, when Matty has always been the one to pine after you.

God, you’re such a fucking bitch.

“Fuck, Matty, I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to hear all this.” You say as you wipe your eyes again. You hiss, “Ow fuck.”

“It's alright.” He says softly and takes your hands away from your face. “Can I be honest?” He asks you and you nod.

“Alex sounds like a cunt.” Matty smiles as you laugh.

“Yeah, he’s kinda been one recently.” You nod. “Hasn’t always been, but recently, he really has been.”

“C’mere, Wheels.” Matty says and opens his arms to you.

You lean forward and hug him, Matty wraps his arms around you and lays back, pulling you down with him. You two lay there in a comfortable silence, Matty lightly running his index finger up and down your spine.

Your breathing evens out and you fully stop crying after what feels like hours. You readjust your position, getting more comfortable but still cuddled up to Matty. He chuckles a bit and places a kiss on the top of your head as you rest your head back on his chest.

“Thank you, Curly.” You tell him.

He hums in response and you let out a soft tired sigh. You feel a lot better, being back in Manchester or maybe more specifically back in Matty’s arms. You look around his room as you two lay there, smiling a bit as you spot the images you two had taken in the photobooth at the fair this past summer.

Your eyes continue to wander and you see a familiar shirt hanging in his wardrobe; standing out from the plethora of dark clothing was your white button up that was covered in peonies. You chuckle a bit seeing it hanging there.

“What?” Matty smiles upon hearing your small laugh now without any hints that you’d been crying laced within it.

“That my top?” You ask him and motion to his closet. Matty looks over at it and grins a bit.

“Yeah.” He chuckles back. “Found it a bit ago, guess you can take it back now.”

“Nah.” You chuckle and grin up at him. “Hold on to it if you want, bet you look better in it than me.”  

“Oh, that, I highly doubt.” Matty smiles back down at you.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Alex be like “Alexa, play Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears” smh x

Taglist: @psychkunox @sofiaaraee @thewheeler @cold-hands-cold-eyesss @xovalliegirlxo @vroboat @hoodskillerqueen @woahhealy @emmaheg1005 @belledawnidk @elen-alambil @megann-duff @alexsvacuumcleaner @bshelley322 @g0thwat3rr @cassieinnit​ @ohmyolympusssy​

Add yourself to the taglist with the link in the Masterlist!

#alex turner x reader #matty healy x reader #alex x reader #matty x reader #alex turner #matty healy #alex turner fanfic #matty healy fanfic #matt helders #george daniel #jamie cook #adam hann #nick o'malley #ross macdonald #miles kane

[mirakeul]

𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗸𝘆𝘂𝘂

♫ last updated ; dec. 26, 2021

mature themes and explicit content are marked as [m]

➳ back to main masterlist ➳ back to navigation

[karasuno] ♫ imagines ;

➳ he really puts his heart into it, you know? ; tanaka ryuunosuke x fem! reader [slight angst, fluff ; 4.3k words] ➳ you'd be rich ; asahi azumane x fem!flirty! reader [fluff ; 1.1k words] ➳ i said i'll come back, didn't i? ; tanaka ryuunosuke x fem! reader [slight angst, fluff ; 2.6k words] ➳ you can't choose who you love ; kiyoko shimizu x fem! reader [hurt/comfort, fluff ; 4.6k words] ➳ i want to have a family with you ; ukai keishin x fem! reader [fluff ; 6.09k words] [m] ➳ darling, you look perfect tonight ; sugawara koushi x fem! reader [songfic, fluff ; 1.3k words] ➳ does it mean we're dating? ; sawamura daichi x fem! reader [actor! au, fluff ; 1.3k words] ➳ watch the fireworks with me? ; sugawara koushi x fem! reader [fluff, 1.72k words ; agaasi's 4k wp] ➳ i just get shy ; asahi azumane x gender neutral! reader [fluff ; 1.27k words]  ➳ have we met before? ; sugawara koushi x gender neutral! reader [soulmate!au, fluff, comfort ; 3.15k words] ➳ that’s a keeper ; sugawara koushi x fem! reader [fluff, hurt/comfort ; 3.23k words] ➳ pinto ng tadhana [door of destiny] ; sugawara koushi x filipino fem! reader [angst, entry for @/lumpiang-toge’s event ; 2.75k words] ➳ making it hard to breathe ; tanaka ryuunosuke x gender neutral! reader [hurt/comfort, entry for @/kirakirasaku’s collab event ; 1.71k words]

♫ scenarios ; ➳ it reminded me of you ; yamaguchi tadashi x fem! reader [fluff ; 573 words] ➳ sometimes, i wonder if you even like me ; tsukishima kei x fem! reader [hurt/comfort ; 802 words] ➳ are you okay? ; sugawara koushi x bianca ; biankoushi [self-ship fic, hurt/comfort ; 701 words] ➳ study date sesh with tsukki ; tsukishima kei x gender neutral! reader [fluff ; 546 words ; agaasi's 4k wp]

♫ fake texts ; ➳ i miss you ; sugawara koushi x gender neutral! reader [fluff] ➳ i thought you were in class ; tsukishima kei x gender neutral! reader [fluff, lowkey crack] ➳ i wanna ruin our friendship ; sugawara koushi x gender neutral! reader [fluff] 

♫ series ;  ➳ fluffy boyfriend texts ; smau [fluff] ♪ tsukishima kei ♪ yamaguchi tadashi 

♫ timestamp drabbles ; ♪ [1:28] sugawara koushi [hurt/comfort]

[fukurodani] ♫ scenarios ; ➳ the moment's ruined ; bokuto koutarou x fem! reader [crackfic, 305 words] [m]

[nekoma] ♫ imagines ; ➳ i guess we're soulmates ; kuroo tetsurou x fem! reader [soulmate!au, fluff, lowkey crackfic ; 1.7k words] ➳ i would have fallen for you either way ; kuroo tetsurou x gender neutral! reader [soulmate!au, fluff, angst if you squint ; 1.4k words]

♫ scenarios ; ➳ he stays ; kuroo tetsurou x fem actress! reader [comfort ; 573 words]

[aoba johsai] ♫ imagines ; ➳ i wish you were here with me ; oikawa tooru x fem! reader [fluff, a bit nsfw at the end ; 1.7k words] ➳ akin ka na lang ; half filipino! iwaizumi hajime x filipino gender neutral! reader [fluff, slight angst if you squint, lowkey crack ; 1.83k words]

♫ scenarios ; ➳ you look happier, you do ; iwaizumi hajime x fem! reader [songfic, angst ; 894 words]

[shiratorizawa] ♫ imagines ; ➳ petrichor ; ushijima wakatoshi x fem! reader [fluff ; 1.78k ; jane's 1.5k writing event]  ➳ i long for the day ; pirate! ushijima wakatoshi x merperson! reader [fluff, angst if you squint ; 2.3k words]

♫ scenarios ; ➳ you're not a bother ; tendou satori x gender neutral! reader [fluff ; 964 words] ➳ i think they’re growing on me ; ushijima wakatoshi x gender neutral! reader [fluff ; 505 words]

[inarizaki] ♫ coming soon~

[itachiyama] ♫ scenarios ; ➳ so, when's the wedding? ; sakusa kiyoomi x gender neutral! reader [fluff ; 932 words] 

[misc.] ♫ imagines ;  ➳ five times hirugami sachirou kisses ellie under a mistletoe (and the one time he didn’t need it) ; hirugami sachirou x ellie @/sachirou-senpai [fluff, hurt/comfort ; 3.69k words]

♫ scenarios ; ➳ i don’t love you anymore ; includes oikawa tooru, tanaka ryuunosuke, daichi sawamura, and kenma kozume [angst]

♫ headcanons ;  ➳ with a fem s/o who has inferiority issues ; includes miya osamu, kuroo tetsurou, akaashi keiji [comfort] ➳ poly relationship ; includes sakusa kiyoomi & alisa haiba, osamu miya & akaashi keiji, and kyoutani kentarou & kenma kozume [fluff] ➳ with an s/o who’s blunt, serious, and just socially awkward ; includes bokuto koutarou, oikawa tooru, sugawara koushi [fluff, hurt/comfort] ➳ are you okay? ; includes iwaizumi hajime, tsukishima kei, terushima yuuji [hurt/comfort] ➳ s/o does their makeup! ; includes sugawara koushi, iwaizumi hajime, terushima yuuji [fluff] ➳ are you having trouble sleeping? ; includes terushima yuuji, sawamura daichi, tendou satori [fluff, comfort] ➳ haikyuu boys and how they would dance with you to these opm songs ; includes tendou satori, kyoutani kentarou, hinata shouyou, miya atsumu, and bokuto koutarou [fluff, comfort]

♫ series ;  ➳ i thought you were in class? ; smau [fluff, lowkey crack] ♪ karasuno ♪ aoba johsai

➳ can you come pick me up ; smau [angst, hurt/comfort] ♪ karasuno part 1 [daichi, suga, asahi, kiyoko, ennoshita, noya, tanaka] ♪ karasuno part 2 [kageyama, hinata, tsukishima, yamaguchi, yachi, ukai jr., takeda] ♪ aoba johsai [oikawa, iwaizumi, matsukawa, hanamaki, kindaichi, kunimi, kyoutani, shigeru] ♪ nekoma & fukurodani [kuroo, kenma, yaku, taketora, lev, bokuto, akaashi, konoha]

➳ i don’t love you anymore ; scenarios [angst, no comfort] ♪ part 1 [oikawa tooru, tanaka ryuunosuke, daichi sawamura, kenma kozume] ♪ part 2 [akaashi keiji, bokuto koutarou, hinata shouyou, kuroo tetsurou] ♪ part 3 [semi eita, tendou satori, terushima yuuji, kunimi akira]

♫ fake texts ; ➳ baby, you’re like lightning in a bottle ; includes tsukishima kei, oikawa tooru, matsukawa issei [fluff, lowkey crack] 

➳ haikyuu captains see you do the wap ; headcanons [m] ♪ includes sawamura daichi, oikawa tooru, kuroo tetsurou  ♪ includes bokuto koutarou, futakuchi kenji, ushijima wakatoshi

© mirakeul ; do not modify or reupload anywhere else

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #hq #hq!! #hq imagines #hq fanfiction #hq x reader #hq x you #hq x y/n #fluff #angst #karasuno #fukurodani #nekoma #seijoh #aoba johsai #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #kuroo #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x reader #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #ukai keishin

[peachy-writings]

full masterlist

F = fluff | A = angst | H = humor | M = mature themes

∞ = my fav | ☾ = requested | coming soon

disclaimer: most if not all of my writing contains explicit language; if this makes you uncomfortable, do not interact with my work. all of my writing is purely fictional and is in no way a reflection of who the idols mentioned are as people.

ONESHOTS

— Choi Seungcheol

— Yoon Jeonghan

— Joshua Hong

— Wen Junhui

— Kwon Soonyoung

For Now | F, A | 5.4k

↳ Soonyoung is drunk, confiding in you about his treacherous love life and bringing memories to the surface. After getting cozy with you, he notices that your mood is off and manages to get to the bottom of things, leading you both to understand that what you have is okay for now.

— Jeon Wonu

— Lee Jihoon

— Lee Seokmin

— Xu Minghao

— Boo Seungkwan

— Choi Hansol

505 | A | 2.4k

↳ You know that when he boards a plane to somewhere unknown the day after tomorrow, he’ll be gone for good, but you stupidly choose to make the most of your time together in room 505.

— Lee Chan

Series’

— All

Headcanons

— All

updated 041322

#seventeen masterlist #seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen oneshots #joshua hong #jeonghan #hoshi #junhui #woozi #wonwoo #minghao #s.coups #dino #seungkwan #dk #vernon #fanfiction

[nightfurmoon]

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE VILLAINOUS LIVESTREAM

I’m jumping right into it because there is SO MUCH STUFF. THANK you puppy again for sending my ask to them to draw BH in his car aahhh

- Black Hat’s favorite book is The Necronomicon. - Demencia basically made up an entire fanfiction in her mind about her life with Black Hat and their kids. You can see a drawing of them up there. They have names but Alan didn’t specify. - Alan has ‘profiles’ of all of the characters, including birthdays, their zodiac signs etc. He was asked when Flug’s bday is but he can’t remember it, and asked us to remind him next stream because he’ll have those profiles at hand. - Alan compared Dem’s love for Black Hat to a teenager’s love for a boy band, it’s that type of obsession. - Demencia yanks at 505′s flower a lot and it’s very painful for him, emotionally and physically. However, the flower grows back, and it doesn’t grow with water but with love and affection. - When Alan gets writer’s block, he goes to a room alone and acts the scene he wants to write, with voices and everything, even Flug and Demencia’s. He also uses music to get out of it too. - BH’S ROOM!! Thank you @lazarel-3000 for asking it for me!! <3 I knew long time ago Alan said nobody’s ever entered BH’s room and he confirmed it again! Not even the HatBots are allowed inside. That’s the perspective from the window, and he described it from Flug’s view, you should check it out in the stream itself to get every detail because some things aren’t quite clear and even Flug himself is confused. - Flug in his room when he has free time makes model planes and reads books to himself or to 505. - Black Hat greatest gift to Flug was letting him live, LMAO - 505′s favorite dessert is one he can share with his friends. He really is the kindest thing on Earth. - Black Hat doesn’t sleep, he stands by his window and watches his subordinates cry and suffer. He said this in the stream with much joy. What a lovely bastard. - Black Hat is fun to write when he’s interacting with other characters, but it’s a bit difficult writing him when he’s alone. Nevertheless, Alan said they’re planning to do an episode just with him and he said it’s going well. I’M HYPED FOR THAT!! - Black Hat sang poor unfortunate souls in spanish at 1:20:37. - Demencia is no longer 19, she’s now 20 or 21, so they do age with us. - If Black Hat ever loses 505, Flug and Dem, he says he can replace them easily, but Alan said something he said in the very first conference: they work for him for a reason. And it seems important with how seriously he said it. - ‘What does BH do in his office all day?’ ‘None of your business, but maybe you can join me one of these days…’ Honestly after seeing that dead body in his room, that can’t end well. - Just like I said and I always thought, Black Hat’s clothes are a part of him, but he can take them off as well. - SUPER INTERESTING. They MAYBE do a comic series based off the darker side of Villainous they can’t show on TV. YES PLS. - Black Hat hates 505 but he doesn’t kick him out because he’s a good stress relief toy. - They asked if BH had organs/a heart or not. Alan answered saying that Black Hat took out his own heart from his chest once to scare 505, dropped it afterwards and left. - Flug is a mechanical engineer but never actually got a degree for that, he instead got an evil science degree at BH’s school. - At 1:44:50 Black Hat sang the all star song. Im. - Demencia sees Flug as an older brother and a competition to get BH’s approval. So sorry FlugxDem shippers x’D - Flug actually likes working there, but like everyone, has thoughts about escaping whenever BH gets real mad at him because who would want to deal with that LMAO, like that one discarded short where they all escape on a boat after messing up the manor. - ‘Can BH swim?’ He can walk on the bottom of the ocean, does that count? - If there ever was a live action Villainous movie, Black Hat would be Tom Hiddleston (I literally screamed so hard at this I LOVE LOKI OH MY GOD), for Demencia Kaya Scodelario, for Flug he doesn’t know but someone young and skinny, and for 505 Markiplier. - Black Hat eats gory and nasty stuff but Alan said ‘he doesn’t know’ if BH needs to actually eat, but he does eat a lot. - More people live on Hat Island, they’re villains but Alan won’t tell what they do there. - ‘BH, do you miss ruling the world, like before you helped villains?’ ‘Who says I’m not ruling the world?’ - A theme song is likely to happen in the future. - When you make deals with BH, there is always a catch. - The little phone might have someones soul inside of it, that’s why it moves around. - And to end this, something nice. Miguel and Alan are planning to do charity stuff, they gave the example of a hospital that treats children with cancer, and they said they’ll draw stuff for them and give them art supplies to keep them entertained <3

WOW. YEAH. It was packed! I really hope people read this stuff it took me so long to do dgsd

#villainous #black hat #villanos #cartoon #dr flug #flug #505 #demencia #villainous livestream #livestream #villains #theres star there so #star vs the forces of evil #cartoon network

[randomnotesnet]

The album is considered by music scholars to be an artistic breakthrough for the Rolling Stones. It is their first to consist entirely of original compositions, all of which were credited to Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.

Brian Jones emerged as a key contributor and experimented with instruments not usually associated with popular music …

Influenced in part by intense love affairs outside the band and their demanding touring itinerary, Jagger and Richards wrote the album around psychodramatic themes […] Women feature as prominent characters in their often dark, sarcastic, casually offensive lyrics.

[…]

The album's release was briefly delayed by controversy over the proposed packaging and title – Could You Walk on the Water? – by the Stones' manager/producer Andrew Loog Oldham. Decca and London rejected his idea, fearing the allusion to Jesus walking on water would provoke a negative reaction […] without another idea for the title, the Stones bitterly settled on Aftermath, and two different photos of the band were used …

[…]

The American edition was issued with […] the single "Paint It, Black" in place of four of the British version's songs, in keeping with the industry preference for shorter LPs in the US market at the time.

Background

In 1965, the Rolling Stones' popularity increased markedly with a series of international hit singles written by the band's lead singer Mick Jagger and their guitarist Keith Richards. This success attracted the attention of Allen Klein, an American businessman who became their US representative in August […] One of Klein's first actions on the band's behalf was to force Decca Records to grant a $1.2 million royalty advance to the group, bringing the members their first signs of financial wealth and allowing them to purchase country houses and new cars.

[…]

Within the Stones, tensions were rife as Brian Jones continued to be viewed by fans and the press as the band's leader, a situation that Jagger and Oldham resented. The group dynamics were also affected by some of the band members' romantic entanglements.

Jones' new relationship with the German model Anita Pallenberg […] helped renew his confidence and encourage him to experiment musically, while her intelligence and sophistication both intimidated and elicited envy from the other Stones.

Jagger came to view his girlfriend, Chrissie Shrimpton, as inadequate by comparison. While Jagger sought a more glamorous companion commensurate with his newfound wealth, the aura surrounding Jones and Pallenberg contributed to the end of his and Shrimpton's increasingly acrimonious relationship.

Richards' relationship with Linda Keith also deteriorated as her drug use escalated to include Mandrax and heroin.

Writing and recording

[…]

According to the band's bassist Bill Wyman […] they originally conceived Aftermath as the soundtrack for a planned film, Back, Behind and in Front. The plan was abandoned after Jagger met the potential director, Nicholas Ray, and disliked him.

Title and packaging

[…]

Rolling Stone discerns a connection between the final title and themes explored in the music: "Aftermath of what? of the whirlwind fame […] and of hypocritical women". In Norman's view, an "aftermath" of the earlier title's "sacrilegious reference to the most spectacular of Christ's miracles" is "the very thing from which their God-fearing bosses may well have saved them" …

… [T]he liner notes were written by Hassinger and were a straight commentary on the music […] Hassinger wrote in part: "It's been great working with the Stones, who, contrary to the countless jibes of mediocre comedians all over the world, are real professionals, and a gas to work with."

Track listing – UK edition

Side one

1. "Mother's Little Helper" 2:40 2. "Stupid Girl" 2:52 3. "Lady Jane" 3:06 4. "Under My Thumb" 3:20 5. "Doncha Bother Me" 2:35 6. "Goin' Home" 11:35

Total length: 26:08

Side two

1. "Flight 505" 3:25 2. "High and Dry" 3:06 3. "Out of Time" 5:15 4. "It's Not Easy" 2:52 5. "I Am Waiting" 3:10 6. "Take It or Leave It" 2:47 7. "Think" 3:10 8. "What to Do"

Total length: 26:15

All tracks are written by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.

— Aftermath (Rolling Stones album) – Wikipedia

# 087

#57 years after #11/22/1963 #united kingdom #pop music #the rolling stones #aftermath

[bytesnbolts]

Director’s Cut: Something Wicked This Way Comes Event

(( 1) Originally, the event was not going to contain the survivor portion as daily posts. They were going to be put into a Choose Your Own Adventure created through a series of private posts that participants could click through if they wanted to. You can explore Requiem and Nightsiren’s routes for it by Clicking Here.

1.1) I did accidentally post twice not to private and had to quickly fix it before anyone noticed. No one said anything, so I’m assuming none of you noticed.

1.2) Originally, all choices were going to load to a new post, but I decided to condense them while I was working to try to resolve some of the linking issues; it did not work. 

1.3) Originally:

4546B - Requiem, Nightsiren, and Powerhouse crash on the planet from Subnautica, post-game events.

Necrosonus - Nitroxide and Shamble were together on a planet that disrupted processors, making it impossible for bots to communicate and causing hallucinations. The planet was also composed of grounded down Cybertronian frames. [Necro - relating to a corpse or death; sonus - sound/noise]

Metallumvorous-505 - Starprowler and Flux were to land on a planet with metal-eating plants. [ Metallum - metal; Vorous - feeding on a specified food; 505 - looks like SOS.]

Smol-001 - Solar Pax and Crux were being sent to a tiny volcano planet. [Smol was short for Smolder, but also relating to the tininess]

2) The countdown posts [Joors/Groons prior] were not originally planned to be done, but they also coincide with the actual time to the event announcement [1 groon prior = 1 hour to announcement]. I wrote all of them within the 27 hours prior to the event announcement, so some of them posted 10 minutes after I finished typing them to be on time.

3) The Survivor posts [which is what I came up with when the Choose Your Own Adventure failed 3 days prior to kick-off] were also written on the same days they appeared.

4) Originally, I planned to just throw Vex into people’s ask box unannounced, but it felt too rude, thus the ‘Do you want a Vex in your ask box?’ post. [I did do it once because I couldn’t resist giving @polyhexianchicken ‘s Whirl dark energon on their creation date, sorry.]

5) This Event was planned for Halloween, which is why it seems like a weird theme choice for December (but I refused to wait an entire year).

6) Vex originally was going to be more like Ultra Magnus in a “tiny bot inside another frame” situation. That specific idea was given to a different not yet released muse, but there is some of that that was kept ;) 

7) Vex is the techno-necro-romancer from a way back ask about what characters I would like to create. Techno for technology, necro for necromancy, and the romancer portion of that is romanticism [supernatural/spiritual elements, emphasis on aesthetics, solitude, high emotion]. The emphasis on individuality and high appreciate for nature that is normally associated with the Romantic period is not present in Vex, but is in Vector prior to becoming Vex.))

#(( Directors Cut ))

[manuscripts-dontburn]

Tilly and the Lost Fairytales

Author: Anna James

First published: 2019

Pages: 400

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 3 days

Excellent continuation to an already excellent start. Anna James has a gift of writing for children in a very accesible way but at the same time she offers their minds a space to grow and learn. The book is both funny and filled with tension - I can hardly wait to continue on the journey with Tilly and Oscar. Makes me wish this series was out and about when I was a child, because I would have loved it even more.

Before the Revolution: A View of Russia Under the Last Czar

Author: Kyril FitzLyon, Tatiana Browning

First published: 1977

Pages: 205

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 1 day

A beautiful photo album which contains pictures not often seen in other publications. It is entirely focused on "lower" parts of the society, with the exception of photographs of clergy and educational institutes near the end. Not much is provided as a background to the pictures unfortunatelly.

Northanger Abbey

Author: Jane Austen

First published: 1817

Pages: 304

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 7 days

I found this short novel utterly delightful and filled with charming, sarcastic humour worthy of any contemporary writer. Catherine Morland could be, at times, frustratingly dumb, at the same time her straightforwardness, her bookish flights-of-imagination and purity of character made her very likeable. Sadly the ending comes way too quickly once an actual hurdle in the story appears, which left me a bit unsatisfied.

Exit West

Author: Mohsin Hamid

First published: 2017

Pages: 229

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 3 days

This is a fairly short book with a very particular writing style, in which you are both pulled into the most intimate situations yet at the same time you feel distant, which made it almost painful to read. Why? Because I just felt so much for Nadia and Saeed and the sense of my inability to help them, both in their struggles for a mere decent existence, and the progress of their relationship, kept swelling up in me until I was ready to scream. Exit West is an unasuming, controlled narrative that shows perfectly that all "common" people resemble each other in their desires, their virtues and their vices. And it is a book we need as a society.

On the Battle Lost

Author: Svetlana Alexievich

First published: 2017

Pages: 20

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 30 minutes

I do not really have anything to say, except perhaps that the path and means Svetlana Alexievich set upon so many years prior is something the human memory should be eternally grateful.

Větrná hůrka rodiny Brontëových

Author: Hana Whitton

First published: 2017

Pages: 440

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 4 days

Tahle kniha mne ničím neurazila, ale ani mi nic nedala. Jen několik postřehů: 1) Autorka vypráví příběh historicky přesně, ovšem absolutně nic originálního, svého či oživujícího k němu nepřidává. Pokud si přečtete kvalitní biografii, pak už není třeba číst tuto publikaci. Chybí jí literární přesah a to zcela. 2) Informace se opakují, často rychle za sebou. Editor zaspal, nebo vůbec nebyl. 3) Vše se děje "za oponou". Kniha se skládá prakticky pouze z rozjímáním postav nad něčím, co už se stalo. 4) Vzhledem k zaměření knihy nelze než smutně konstatovat, že všechny postavy jsou vykresleny nesmírně povrchně, bez jedinečnosti. 5) Už dlouho mne kniha tak moc nenudila.

Anastasia: The Last Grand Duchess, Russia, 1914

Author: Carolyn Meyer

First published: 2000

Pages: 219

Rating:  ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 1 day

I was impressed at how accurate this book is, well-researched and well-presented. Naturally it is aimed at younger audience (who can really get some actual historical knowledge from this), but even a well-read Romanov enthusiast in their 30s (like me) can enjoy it.

Farmer Giles of Ham

Author: J.R.R. Tolkien

First published: 1949

Pages: 225

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 5 days

A humorous take on medieval knightly legends starring Tolkien´s favourite type of hero: completely accidental and minding his own business. Delightful!

Goddess

Author: Kelly Gardiner

First published: 2014

Pages: 384

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 8 days

For quite some time I was unsure how I felt about the rather sketchy and episodic presentation of this story, but as the book progressed I first got used to it and eventually understood that it served its purpose - to give a distinct voice to the main character - perfectly. Julie is somebody you cannot help but raise your eyebrow over, and I was uncomfortable with how brash and vulgar she would choose to be, but at the same time I felt like cheering for her every triumph and weeping over her pain. The fact this is based on a real story and quite meticulously researched only ads to my positive feelings. I would wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone willing to try something a little mad and powering forward with the speed of a shooting star.

The Handmaid's Tale: The Graphic Novel

Author: Margaret Atwood, Renée Nault

First published: 2019

Pages: 240

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 1 day

When it comes to graphic adaptations of novels I rate especially two things. 1. How faitful is the adaptation and does it manage to convey the same themes and thoughts as the original book? 2. The artwork. In case of this particular publication, I can only praise the adaptation, which once again left me rather numb and terrified. And the artwork is gorgeous, with genius use of colour. From vivid red and moody blue to bursts of colourful flashbacks, it was all beautiful and terrifying.

The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle

Author: Stuart Turton

First published: 2018

Pages: 505

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 6 days

An atmospheric wild ride that leaves you rather bewildered and unless you let yourself be swept away you may just go a bit mad. At least that is what would have happened to me if I tried to keep the track of the logic and moves between the timelines. There is so much happening that I know I will have to re-read the book in the future. The only actual problem I have with this book is that absolutely nowhere you are told which time period the book is set in. I assumed anything from late 1890s to mid 1920s, but the uncertainty just frustrated me to no end.

The Dark Descent Of Elizabeth Frankenstein

Author: Kiersten White

First published: 2018

Pages: 287

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 3 days

This is actually a very well though out and characters enriching Frankenstein fanfiction that only really suffers from being written, at times, as too simplistic. The idea of Elizabeth as morally grey character and eventual reveal of Victor as being even worse than we ever thought, was excellent and for most part told in a very engaging way. Unfortunatelly at the same time I felt the whole thing needed more time to really explore the possibilities. And the epilogue was really unneccesary, ruining the final, impressive note. On the whole I think this is one of those retellings that are well made and do not insult the original work.

#booklr #Wrap Up #January 2020

[grey-cores]

Things I Low-Key Want For Villainous

•Black Hat monolgue

•At least once have someone break into song

•Badass/Funny opening or theme song

•Steven Universe and Villainous cross over

•Gotta know how Black Hat's neighbors feel about him

•Villainous plushies. Need. Them. Now.

•Anime style battle with Dementia and some hero

•505 becoming a more interesting character

•Official Villainous merch. Need. It.

•More comics of course

•Lil Jack

•Some recurring background/supporting characters with dialog and stuff

•Adjustments on the pacing of the shorts (it kinda feels like they’re cramming as many jokes in as they can instead of letting the humor set in)

•A whole 1 hour special

•Black Hat fighting someone or something

•Halloween themed episode

•An episode showing back Black Hat when he still destroyed and conquered planets, before the company

•An episode where Flug has to take over the company for a day, for whatever reason... Obviously leading to chaos

•That they don't do some bs where at the end of the series they all become good guys

•Maybe a character that's convinced that he's Black Hat's rival, but in reality, Black Hat doesn't even know he ehists.

•More Flug being evil

•Black Hat being as extra as possible

#villainous black hat #villainous dr flug #villainous demencia #villainous

[crossnecklace]

hi hi hi! so i feel like a lot of my most favorite fics dont get talked about much, therefore i wanted to create a proper fic rec masterpost to spread the love!! this is going to be a looooong list, so hopefully theres something for everyone (though i do firmly believe u should read every single one of these before u die)

in no particular order, but a * indicates my absolute faves that i reread monthly:

hats off to my distant hope by navigator (21k) *

Harry is in White Eskimo. Louis is in London.

AU loosely inspired by the song “505” by Arctic Monkeys.

-kicking this off with one of my very favorites. i think my favorite trope is when hl have this angsty “we’re not dating but definitely fucking and also doing everything couples do also i’m irrevocably in love with you why aren’t we dating?” sort of moment. its painful in the sweetest way, and this fic captures that perfectly. there will be quite a few of those on this list, i’ll bet

up the long delirious burning blue by orphan_account (6k)

harry is a swimmer & louis is the writer who somehow manages to make him come up for air. 

-this one is quite sad. so poetic and painful and lovely and unf (warning for mentions of suicide and depression, and the ending is quite ambiguous but there is no MCD)

we wreak havoc with out hearts by flimsy (9k)

Harry finds that he can’t keep things separate; neither can Louis.

Harry tousles his hair, smoothes it back, shrugging. 

“Alright,” he says. “I’m, you know, outside if you need anything.” 

“Yeah,” Louis replies. “Sure.” 

He doesn’t look like he’ll be needing Harry, and Harry tells himself that that’s okay. They’ve both got their moods sometimes or maybe the timing isn’t good, and if it’s not then that’s alright as well. Harry can respect that. And it’s not like this is their first tour; Harry knows that Louis will come around. He always does.

-another one of those w that trope i talked about. im gonna call it the RFWB trope (romantic friends w benefits). this one is so hot and good

rather this than live without you by mediaville (10k) *

Harry decides to give it all up. Louis refuses to be left behind.

-RFWB pt. 3. i ADORE this fic. just the setting and the angst and the smut ugh it all has me on the floor

one day to believe in you by mediaville (7k) 

A mysterious force compels Louis to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even when it’s really inconvenient.

Harry blinks and has the nerve to look surprised. 

“You think about me when you get off?”

“Yes,” Louis says. He wonders how hard he’d need to punch himself in the face to knock himself out.

“Often?”

“Yes, Christ, Harry,” Louis groans. “Probably eight times a week for going on six years now. On average, you know. More when we were touring, less when I’ve been visiting family. Anything else you’d like to know?”

- :-)))))))

all my love was down in a frozen ground by navigator (16k)

Louis goes to the woods. 

AU very loosely inspired by the creation of Bon Iver’s first record.

-i’ll be honest i dont even remember what this fic is about but its in my bookmarks and its by navigator so i know that its good

boys of summer by sharktoothedfawnskinned (49k) *

What he wants is for this to be a forever thing, not someplace Harry spent the summer once.  What he wants is for this to be more than a memory.

(New Jersey beach town AU.) 

- I SCREAM EVERY TIME READ THIS RIGHT NOW 

we should get jerseys by orphan_account (12k) *

There’s a lot surrounding Harry, and Louis knows, in his heart of hearts, that there always will be. He just doesn’t know if he’ll manage to equate into the ‘always’ of it.

(Harry is a hockey player, and Louis is his slightly melodramatic boyfriend.)

- another old favorite!!! pretty much anything that involves harry being good at sports has me on my knees bc it paves way for automatic angst, louis being jealous of a puck/ball/net/what have you, and uhhh various other *athletic* activities

the finish line (is a good place for us to start) by @loaded-gunn (122k)

Louis Tomlinson, one-time Formula 1 World Champion, is looking forward to the 2013 season. He’s got Zayn in his garage and Liam in his ear, he’s got Cowell Racing backing him despite former indiscretions, he’s got experience and the best race car out there. Not to mention he’s the only racer they have, after Oliver dropped out late last year.

It hasn’t occurred to him that Oliver would have to be replaced by February. That is, until he finds himself at a party celebrating Harry Styles leaving Ferrari for Cowell. Harry hotshot Styles, who broke a record last year and is probably looking to make a big splash. Harry Styles, who is talented and somewhat intimidating. Harry Styles, who left Ferrari for reasons unknown and seems kind of lonely and harmless in person. Lonely, harmless, hot as fuck. Whatever.

The first thing Louis does is take him under his wing. From there it’s nine months of slow-burning romance, the past catching up to them, turning into the human puppy pile that is OT5 and a lot of feelings until, of course, reaching the finish line.

-one of the first 1d fics i remember reading. i havent touched it in a long time but it used to be my #1 fave and it has a special place in my heart. so much pining, only not really in a frustrating way bc theres abundant flirting and they kiss in like, the second scene. its basically louis trying to keep his shit together and failing miserably. AND its stuffed with fandom meta which is quite entertaining if youve been here for awhile. anyway give this a read, i truly love it so much

so keep my candle bright by whisperdlullaby (78k) *

louis returns to his hometown after four years to find that the reverend’s son has done some growing up of his own.

-god. the characterization in this one is just gorgeous. the way louis helps harry accept/explore his sexuality is so beautiful and i think about it every day. a must read!!! (warning for homophobia and religious themes)

no one like you by @myownsparknow (20k)

Dear Niall,

I was glad to have the chance to talk with you again at the AHA conference. Your idea that the Musee D’Orsay Tomlinson painting is in fact not a self-portrait is an intriguing one, and I may have discovered something that will have a bearing on that theory.

Some background: as you may remember, I’ve been researching for a book I’m writing about Harry Styles. I’ve been in communication with Styles’ last living descendant, who is in possession of a trunk that her family believed to have belonged to Styles himself. It held some personal items she presumes to be his, including two unmounted paintings and a small collection of letters.

Upon spending the last few days in Provins studying these items, I believe there to be a connection between Tomlinson and Styles, and I would very much like your opinion.

Are you up for a trip to France?

Sincerely, Liam Payne

Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.

-this is one of the only recent fics on this list bc i like to stew in the past and pretend all my favorite writers havent left the fandom. i read it when it first came out and man oh man, its like poetry. so gorgeously written, and hl’s relationship is so deeply rooted and beautiful. i love

our little corner of the world by brownheadedstranger (30k)

AU. Louis is stuck in his mom’s diner for the summer. Harry is the line cook with a pickup truck.

-so good!! i’d die for americanized fics which doesnt even make sense bc i hate america but. what can u do 

i could dream all night by @fondleeds (73k) *

As the sun kisses the horizon, one last flash of light before the stars and the moon take over, his phone will brighten in his grasp, Louis’ name appearing on screen, come over or wanna see you or miss your mouth. Harry always lingers on those messages, elbows bruising on the cool metal of the railing by the lookout, watching the water as he thumbs at the side of his phone, lips bitten into his mouth, trying to will away the bubbling in his stomach, the heat that flushes to his neck at the thought of being thought of.

At the thought of Louis thinking of him.

AU. Harry spends his summer away from the city.

-lordt. where the fuck do i begin. first of all, lysha, if ur reading this, i’d die for u even tho u already killed me with this fic. second, what the fuck???? this is so good??? the imagery is exquisite, everything is so soft and hazy and warm, but just be warned that its a tRick. this fics wraps u in like a warm hug and then stabs u 7 times in the back so be prepared :-))) (warning for ambiguous ending)

another hazy may by deLILAh (41k) *

louis is a terrible poet and harry lives in the now and they have six weeks to fall in love but, really, it only takes six seconds. bookshop meets military meets summer romance au ft. marlboros, the backstreet boys, and underrated literary devices.

-i dnot even wanna talk about it. i swear to god the first time i read this i stayed up all night and cried through literally like the last three quarters of it. its so poetic and gorgeous and now every time i think or hear about the literary present i wanna die so thanks for scarring me forever 

like a bastard on the burning sea by vashtaneradas (22k) *

au; harry breaks louis, louis breaks everything.

- listen i know im not supposed to like this but yknow what?? iconic. its absolutely a guilty pleasure and the only cheating fic ill ever give the time of day bc it just hurts so good 

take me to the church (series) by @kingsoftheimpossible (14k/6k/4k)

Harry and Louis are Horsemen of the Apocalypse- War and Conquest- but that’s not really important. They just like to fuck things up.

these r freaky but so so good. theres nothin i love more than boyfriends wreaking havoc on..everything. (the main warnings i’d say are for slight gore/violence and blasphemy. other than that i’d read the tags before you dive in)

if you love me, come clean by @victoryjacket​ (121k) *

AU in which Louis works at a recording studio where Harry’s ‘up and coming’ and ‘exciting’, soon-to-be famous indie band has just signed a deal to record their debut album at, and Louis’ never even heard of them for Christ’s sakes, but that doesn’t stop him from repeatedly catching the eye of the raven-haired, eyeliner-wearing and slightly dangerous-looking frontman (but he’s not interested, he isn’t.)

-everyone read my love’s fic right now. she writes tortured rockstar!harry beautifully and its just so good :-))))) ft. the slowest, sweetest burn 

a runaway american dream by dangerbears (15k)

AU. they take route 66 with only each other and their secrets.

-iconic. plus the whole thing is just hl trying and failing to be just bro pals and platonically share a bed

from the love to the lightning by orphan_account (22k) *

“i didn’t realize it would sometimes be more than whole, that the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea. because it’s the halves that halve you in half.”

 a like crazy au where harry and louis fall in america, but have to try to make it work when problems arise that force louis to stay in london.

-definitely in my top 10. first things first, the line that fucked me up forever: “Three thousand, four hundred and seventy one. There are 3471 miles and an entire ocean between them, but Harry doesn’t even have to get out of bed to find bone-crushing heartache.” AH. i think this might actually be the only long distance au ive ever read and its angsty as fuck but oh so worth it. like literally idek what to say except read this right now (warning for harry/ofc relationship that is pretty detailed, but i grew kinda fond of her? and anyway its mainly just a plot point to emphasize harrys pining for his tru love,,,,yk who) 

we can take the long way home by @eleadore (27k) *

“Fertile,” Louis says, and then laughs because it sounds stupid to say out loud. He hasn’t ever really thought of himself in those terms. Baby-making terms. It’s just one of those things his body can do, like exercise, or go without tea. Doesn’t mean he will.

or, The band takes a break. Harry and Louis come together.

-listen, i REALLY REALLY love this fic. its probably literally my favorite one shot, like, its really just so sweet and hot and its again one of those good ol RFWB tropes. loveeee

red brick heart by hazmesentir (99k) *

Harry has only had his room for thirty-two minutes when it stops being his.

Uni AU. Harry had turned up at the halls of residence expecting fun, new friends, and maybe a life experience or two. What he doesn’t expect is a surprise roommate who’s loud and dramatic and obsessed with tea and is maybe, actually, all he’s ever wanted.

-this is one of the few fandom faves i can get behind. i know its got that early era cliche of commitment phobe!louis but i really love hl’s relationship in this, and how harry comes to terms w his sexuality via making out w louis tomlinson like 500 times. plus the scene in the club where louis, uh, helps harry out just…GETS me, yknow? 

some things take root by navigator/quitter (50k) *

AU. Louis’ ex doesn’t get jealous of anyone besides Harry. Harry helps Louis use that to his advantage.

-pleasepleplalspelplseease. literally navigator can end me. this is THE fake relationship au yall, like, any fanart of hl making out near a bar gives me flashbacks to this fic. read it

keep yourself warm by navigator (20k)

AU. Harry sleeps around.

-this fic is really nice and oddly comforting, like, i just love the pining and the angst. its so !!!! 

with love comes strange currencies by mediaville (16k) *

One day One Direction will be over and Louis won’t be around Harry every waking moment. He’ll be able to finally get some space, let their bond dissipate as it’s bound to do, if they don’t mess up again. He can move to Costa Rica and forget that Harry Styles popped his first knot inside him. Until then, he’s going to have to deal with this.

or, They’re Accidentally Mated and Dealing With It Rather Badly.

-i con ic. listen, i have nothing against abo but im just .. not rly into it. however, THIS is the first abo fic i read and the only one i ever loved. like just the whole accidental mating and how it draws them to each other even tho its quite inconvenient, and how h takes cares of l when hes sick, i just..gotta go 

covered in lines (series) by mentalistecbm (24k)

He likes to imagine that he’s always aware of Harry’s eyes on him, but the spark that flashes across his body at how often Harry licks his lips while looking at his throat doesn’t feel like something he’s explicitly and consciously acknowledged before, but it feels familiar. Usual. Right.

(Louis is human, and Harry is lucky enough to be his vampire boyfriend.)

-noah fence but this is,,,, essentially twilight in au form, minus love triangles and werewolves. actually its completely different lmao, who am i, but the overall atmosphere and the vampire dynamics rly reminded me of it. i mean it in the best way!!! its so good, and anything involving dr*nking has me on the floor

weird honey by orphan_account (5k)

~staying up all night, talking blasphemous ash, weird honey~ 

(PWP where Harry is not 100% at home in his body and he and Louis use a sex toy to help work through the problem)

-this fic is soft and nice and makes me feel warm inside so highly recommend

who painted the moon black by throughthedark (95k) *

“People died,” Harry whispers so quietly Louis strains to hear. “People died, and I killed some of them. How does life just go on after something like that?”

Louis shakes his head. “I don’t know. It just does.”

Hunger Games AU where Louis Tomlinson is district six’s victor from the 69th Hunger Games and Harry Styles is district seven’s victor from the 72nd Hunger Games.

-listen. i do NOT want to talk about it. (ps harry throwing axes on the bbc literally  took me out by the knees bc of this fic)

one more for the stars by imsosorry (16k)

It’s different, and Louis knows that, because Harry’s got so much riding on this - a career and a future and his whole life. There’s talk of him going first overall in the draft, of entering the NFL after only two years in college, of going to New York or Seattle or Green Bay, and Louis wants to be there for him, wants to support him and help him make decisions, but he also kind of wants to pin him to the bed and cry and scream, What about me what about me what about me?

(au. Harry’s the star quarterback and Louis is about to graduate. It’s a heartbreak waiting to happen.)

-i think i mentioned before that sports au have me on the floor and this is no excpetion 

you and me were kings by ithacas (28k) *

harry plays football in a small town in west texas. louis might be the only person that doesn’t give a damn. au.

-another football au, this one with the added beauty of being set in southern us. im such a sucker for southern aus, mannnn, and this one is so soft and beautiful

hold onto your stars by vashtaneradas (16k) *

au; harry’s in the army, louis’ back home, and ninety days is a lifetime.

-are u srs????? this is another hazy may except…….Worse. like, im still working out the science of it but im pretty sure this killed me and brought me back to life just so i could suffer the pain of it forever. (nobody dies tho)

makes perfect by checkthemargins (8k)

“What if you practiced on like, a mannequin?” Louis presses. “Or one of those blow up sex dolls? Or even just like, I don’t know, a pillow or something. Whatever it’d fit around.”

Harry tilts his head thoughtfully, curls catching the light so entrancingly that Louis finds himself reaching up to push his fingers through them. “It’s different, though, innit? When it’s a real person. A pillow won’t snog me.”

“Why should it?” says Louis. “You can’t even take its bra off.”

hmmmm. hmmmmmmmm. im jus gonna leave this here,,,,,,,,,

all the diamonds you have here by vashtaneradas (21k) 

it hits louis now, how fucking close to the precipice they’re standing. 

or, an au feat. investment banking and children.

-its #confirmed that anything by vashtaneradas is guaranteed to be painful as hell. who said there cant be soul crushing angst in marriage/kid fics too ! 

wild and unruly by @100percentsassy/gloria_andrews (123k) *

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

-ending this with a classic. i trust that everyone has read this masterpiece already and that i dont have to say anything about it other than w o w 

______________________________________________________________

tis all for now! happy reading and pleaseee feel free to yell @ me about these fics if you liked them as much as i did!! 

#this TRULY took me for fucking ever lmao #pls ignore my sorry attempt at a banner #anyway pls read all of these i love them so much #im so picky about fics so theyre all amazing its confirmed #fic rec #fics #hl #larry fic #my fic rec