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ohgaylor · 4 months

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In 2006, the year Taylor Swift released her first single, a closeted country singer named Chely Wright, then 35, held a 9-millimeter pistol to her mouth. Queer identity was still taboo enough in mainstream America that speaking about her love for another woman would have spelled the end of a country music career. But in suppressing her identity, Ms. Wright had risked her life.

In 2010, she came out to the public, releasing a confessional memoir, “Like Me,” in which she wrote that country music was characterized by culturally enforced closeting, where queer stars would be seen as unworthy of investment unless they lied about their lives. “Country music,” she wrote, “is like the military — don’t ask, don’t tell.”

The culture in which Ms. Wright picked up that gun — the same one in which Ms. Swift first became a star — was stunningly different from today’s. It’s dizzying to think about the strides that have been made in Americans’ acceptance of the L.G.B.T.Q. community over the past decade: marriage equality, queer themes dominating teen entertainment, anti-discrimination laws in housing and, for now, in the workplace. But in recent years, a steady drip of now-out stars — Cara Delevingne, Colton Haynes, Elliot Page, Kristen Stewart, Raven-Symoné and Sam Smith among them — have disclosed that they had been encouraged to suppress their queerness in order to market projects or remain bankable.

The culture of country music hasn’t changed so much that homophobia is gone. Just this past summer, Adam Mac, an openly gay country artist, was shamed out of playing at a festival in his hometown because of his sexual orientation. In September, the singer Maren Morris stepped away from country music; she said she did so in part because of the industry’s lingering anti-queerness. If country music hasn’t changed enough, what’s to say that the larger entertainment industry — and, by extension, our broader culture — has?

Periodically, I return to a video, recorded by a shaky hand more than a decade ago, of Ms. Wright answering questions at a Borders bookstore about her coming out. She likens closeted stardom to a blender, an “insane” and “inhumane” heteronormative machine in which queer artists are chewed to bits.

“It’s going to keep going,” Ms. Wright says, “until someone who has something to lose stands up and just says ‘I’m gay.’ Somebody big.” She continues: “We need our heroes.”

What if someone had already tried, at least once, to change the culture by becoming such a hero? What if, because our culture had yet to come to terms with homophobia, it wasn’t ready for her?

What if that hero’s name was Taylor Alison Swift?

In the world of Taylor Swift, the start of a new “era” means the release of new art (an album and the paratexts — music videos, promotional ephemera, narratives — that supplement it) and a wholesale remaking of the aesthetics that will accompany its promotion, release and memorializing. In recent years, Ms. Swift has dominated pop culture to such a degree that these transformations often end up altering American culture in the process.

In 2019, she was set to release a new album, “Lover,” the first since she left Big Machine Records, her old Nashville-based label, which she has since said limited her creative freedom. The aesthetic of what would be known as the “Lover Era” emerged as rainbows, butterflies and pastel shades of blue, purple and pink, colors that subtly evoke the bisexual pride flag.

On April 26, Lesbian Visibility Day, Ms. Swift released the album’s lead single, “ME!,” in which she sings about self-love and self-acceptance. She co-directed a campy music video to accompany it, which she would later describe as depicting “everything that makes me, me.” It features Ms. Swift dancing at a pride parade, dripping in rainbow paint and turning down a man’s marriage proposal in exchange for a … pussy cat.

At the end of June, the L.G.B.T.Q. community would celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. On June 14, Ms. Swift released the video for her attempt at a pride anthem, “You Need to Calm Down,” in which she and an army of queer celebrities from across generations — the “Queer Eye” hosts, Ellen DeGeneres, Billy Porter, Hayley Kiyoko, to name a few — resist homophobia by living openly. Ms. Swift sings that outrage against queer visibility is a waste of time and energy: “Why are you mad, when you could be GLAAD?”

The video ends with a plea: “Let’s show our pride by demanding that, on a national level, our laws truly treat all of our citizens equally.” Many, in the press and otherwise, saw the video as, at best, a misguided attempt at allyship and, at worst, a straight woman co-opting queer aesthetics and narratives to promote a commercial product.

Then, Ms. Swift performed “Shake It Off” as a surprise for patrons at the Stonewall Inn. Rumors — that were, perhaps, little more than fantasies — swirled in the queerer corners of her fandom, stoked by a suggestive post by the fashion designer Christian Siriano. Would Ms. Swift attend New York City’s WorldPride march on June 30? Would she wear a dress spun from a rainbow? Would she give a speech? If she did, what would she declare about herself?

The Sunday of the march, those fantasies stopped. She announced that the music executive Scooter Braun, who she described as an “incessant, manipulative” bully, had purchased her masters, the lucrative original recordings of her work.

Ms. Swift’s “Lover” was the first record that she created with nearly unchecked creative freedom. Lacking her old label’s constraints, she specifically chose to feature activism for and the aesthetics of the L.G.B.T.Q. community in her confessional, self-expressive art. Even before the sale of her masters, she appeared to be stepping into a new identity — not just an aesthetic — that was distinct from that associated with her past six albums.

When looking back on the artifacts of the months before that album’s release, any close reader of Ms. Swift has a choice. We can consider the album’s aesthetics and activism as performative allyship, as they were largely considered to be at the time. Or we can ask a question, knowing full well that we may never learn the answer: What if the “Lover Era” was merely Ms. Swift’s attempt to douse her work — and herself — in rainbows, as so many baby queers feel compelled to do as they come out to the world?

There’s no way of knowing what could have happened if Ms. Swift’s masters hadn’t been sold. All we know is what happened next. In early August, Ms. Swift posted a rainbow-glazed photo of a series of friendship bracelets, one of which says “PROUD” with beads in the color of the bisexual pride flag. Queer people recognize that this word, deployed this way, typically means that someone is proud of their own identity. But the public did not widely view this as Ms. Swift’s coming out.

Then, Vogue released an interview with Ms. Swift that had been conducted in early June. When discussing her motivations for releasing “You Need to Calm Down,” Ms. Swift said, “Rights are being stripped from basically everyone who isn’t a straight white cisgender male.” She continued: “I didn’t realize until recently that I could advocate for a community that I’m not a part of.” That statement suggests that Ms. Swift did not, in early June, consider herself part of the L.G.B.T.Q. community; it does not illuminate whether that is because she was a straight, cis ally or because she was stuck in the shadowy, solitary recesses of the closet.

On Aug. 22, Ms. Swift publicly committed herself to the as-of-then-unproven project of rerecording and rereleasing her first six albums. The next day, she finally released “Lover,” which raises more questions than it answers. Why does she have to keep secrets just to keep her muse, as all her fans still sing-scream on “Cruel Summer”? About what are the “hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you,” in her chronicle of self-doubt, “The Archer,” if not her identity? And what could the album’s closing words, which come at the conclusion of “Daylight,” a song about stepping out of a 20-year darkness and choosing to “let it go,” possibly signal?

I want to be defined by the things that I love,

Not the things I hate,

Not the things that I’m afraid of, I’m afraid of,

Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night,

I just think that,

You are what you love.

The first time I viewed “Lover” through the prism of queerness, I felt delirious, almost insane. I kept wondering whether what I was perceiving in her work was truly there or if it was merely a mirage, born of earnest projection.

My longtime reading of Ms. Swift’s celebrity — like that of a majority of her fan base — had been stuck in the lingering assumptions left by a period that began more than a decade and a half ago, when a girl with an overexaggerated twang, Shirley Temple curls and Georgia stars in her eyes became famous. Then, she presented as all that was to be expected of a young starlet: attractive yet virginal, knowing yet naïve, not talented enough to be formidable, not commanding enough to be threatening, confessional, eager to please. Her songs earnestly depicted the fantasies of a girl raised in a traditional culture: high school crushes and backwoods drives, princelings and wedding rings, declarations of love that climax only in a kiss — ideally in the pouring rain.

When Ms. Swift was trying to sell albums in that late-2000s media environment, her songwriting didn’t match the image of a sex object, the usual role reserved for female celebrities in our culture. Instead, the story the public told about her was that she laundered her affection to a litter of promising grown men, in exchange for songwriting inspiration. A young Ms. Swift contributed to this narrative by hiding easy-to-decode clues in liner notes that suggested a certain someone was her songs’ inspiration (“SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM,” “ADAM,” “TAY”) or calling out an ex-boyfriend on the “Ellen” show and “Saturday Night Live.” Despite the expansive storytelling in Ms. Swift’s early records, her public image often cast a man’s interest as her greatest ambition.

As Ms. Swift’s career progressed, she began to remake that image: changing her style and presentation, leaving country music for pop and moving from Nashville to New York. By 2019, her celebrity no longer reflected traditional culture; it had instead become a girlboss-y mirror for another dominant culture — that of white, cosmopolitan, neoliberal America.

But in every incarnation, the public has largely seen those songs — especially those for which she doesn’t directly state her inspiration — as cantos about her most recent heterosexual love, whether that idea is substantiated by evidence or not. A large portion of her base still relishes debating what might have happened with the gentleman caller who supposedly inspired her latest album. Feverish discussions of her escapades with the latest yassified London Boy or mustachioed Mr. Americana fuel the tabloid press — and, embarrassingly, much of traditional media — that courts fan engagement by relentlessly, unquestioningly chronicling Ms. Swift’s love life.

Even in 2023, public discussion about the romantic entanglements of Ms. Swift, 34, presumes that the right man will “finally” mean the end of her persistent husbandlessness and childlessness. Whatever you make of Ms. Swift’s extracurricular activities involving a certain football star (romance for the ages? strategic brand partnership? performance art for entertainment’s sake?), the public’s obsession with the relationship has been attention-grabbing, if not lucrative, for all parties, while reinforcing a story that America has long loved to tell about Ms. Swift, and by extension, itself.

Because Ms. Swift hasn’t undeniably subverted our culture’s traditional expectations, she has managed, in an increasingly fractured cultural environment, to simultaneously capture two dominant cultures — traditional and cosmopolitan. To maintain the stranglehold she has on pop culture, Ms. Swift must continue to tell a story that those audiences expect to consume; she falls in love with a man or she gets revenge. As a result, her confessional songs languish in a place of presumed stasis; even as their meaning has grown deeper and their craft more intricate, a substantial portion of her audience’s understanding of them remains wedded to the same old narratives.

But if interpretations of Ms. Swift’s art often languish in stasis, so do the millions upon millions of people who love to play with the dollhouse she has constructed for them. Her dominance in pop culture and the success of her business have given her the rare ability to influence not only her industry but also the worldview of a substantial portion of America. How might her industry, our culture and we, ourselves, change if we made space for Ms. Swift to burn that dollhouse to the ground?

Anyone considering the whole of Ms. Swift’s artistry — the way that her brilliantly calculated celebrity mixes with her soul-baring art — can find discrepancies between the story that underpins her celebrity and the one captured by her songs. One such gap can be found in her “Lover” era. Others appear alongside “dropped hairpins,” or the covert ways someone can signal queer identity to those in the know while leaving others comfortable in their ignorance. Ms. Swift dropped hairpins before “Lover” and has continued to do so since.

Sometimes, Ms. Swift communicates through explicit sartorial choices — hair the colors of the bisexual pride flag or a recurring motif of rainbow dresses. She frequently depicts herself as trapped in glass closets or, well, in regular closets. She drops hairpins on tour as well, paying tribute to the Serpentine Dance of the lesbian artist Loie Fuller during the Reputation Tour or referencing “The Ladder,” one of the earliest lesbian publications in the United States, in her Eras Tour visuals.

During the Eras Tour, Ms. Swift traps her past selves — including those from her “Lover” era — in glass closets.

Dropped hairpins also appear in Ms. Swift’s songwriting. Sometimes, the description of a muse — the subject of her song, or to whom she sings — seems to fit only a woman, as it does in “It’s Nice to Have a Friend,” “Maroon” or “Hits Different.” Sometimes she suggests a female muse through unfulfilled rhyme schemes, as she does in “The Very First Night,” when she sings “didn’t read the note on the Polaroid picture / they don’t know how much I miss you” (“her,” instead of that pesky little “you,” would rhyme). Her songwriting also noticeably alludes to poets whose muses the historical record incorrectly cast as men — Emily Dickinson chief among them — as if to suggest the same fate awaits her art. Stunningly, she even explicitly refers to dropping hairpins, not once, but twice, on two separate albums.

In isolation, a single dropped hairpin is perhaps meaningless or accidental, but considered together, they’re the unfurling of a ballerina bun after a long performance. Those dropped hairpins began to appear in Ms. Swift’s artistry long before queer identity was undeniably marketable to mainstream America. They suggest to queer people that she is one of us. They also suggest that her art may be far more complex than the eclipsing nature of her celebrity may allow, even now.

Since at least her “Lover” era, Ms. Swift has explicitly encouraged her fans to read into the coded messages (which she calls “Easter eggs”) she leaves in music videos, social media posts and interviews with traditional media outlets, but a majority of those fans largely ignore or discount the dropped hairpins that might hint at queer identity. For them, acknowledging even the possibility that Ms. Swift could be queer would irrevocably alter the way they connect with her celebrity, the true product they’re consuming.

There is such public devotion to the traditional narrative Ms. Swift embodies because American culture enshrines male power. In her sweeping essay, “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence,” the lesbian feminist poet Adrienne Rich identified the way that male power cramps, hinders or devalues women’s creativity. All of the sexist undertones with which Ms. Swift’s work can be discussed (often, even, by fans) flow from compulsory heterosexuality, or the way patriarchy draws power from the presumption that women naturally desire men. She must write about men she surely loves or be unbankable; she must marry and bear children or remain a child herself; she must look like, in her words, a “sexy baby” or be undesirable, “a monster on the hill.”

A woman who loves women is most certainly a monster to a society that prizes male power. She can fulfill none of the functions that a traditional culture imagines — wife, mother, maid, mistress, whore — so she has few places in the historical record. The Sapphic possibility of her work is ignored, censored or lost to time. If there is queerness earnestly implied in Ms. Swift’s work, then it’s no wonder that it, like that of so many other artists before her, is so often rendered invisible in the public imagination.

While Ms. Swift’s songs, largely written from her own perspective, cannot always conform to the idea of a woman our culture expects, her celebrity can. That separation, between Swift the songwriter and Swift the star, allows Ms. Swift to press against the golden birdcage in which she has found herself. She can write about women’s complexity in her confessional songs, but if ever she chooses not to publicly comply with the dominant culture’s fantasy, she will remain uncategorizable, and therefore, unsellable.

Her star — as bright as it is now — would surely dim.

Whether she is conscious of it or not, Ms. Swift signals to queer people — in the language we use to communicate with one another — that she has some affinity for queer identity. There are some queer people who would say that through this sort of signaling, she has already come out, at least to us. But what about coming out in a language the rest of the public will understand?

The difference between any person coming out and a celebrity doing so is the difference between a toy mallet and a sledgehammer. It’s reasonable for celebrities to be reticent; by coming out, they potentially invite death threats, a dogged tabloid press that will track their lovers instead of their beards, the excavation of their past lives, a torrent of public criticism and the implosion of their careers. In a culture of compulsory heterosexuality, to stop lying — by omission or otherwise — is to risk everything.

American culture still expects that stars are cis and straight until they confess themselves guilty. So, when our culture imagines a celebrity’s coming out, it expects an Ellen-style announcement that will submerge the past life in phoenix fire and rebirth the celebrity in a new image. In an ideal culture, wearing a bracelet that says “PROUD,” waving a pride flag onstage, placing a rainbow in album artwork or suggestively answering fan questions on Instagram would be enough. But our current reality expects a supernova.

Because of that expectation, stars end up trapped behind glass, which is reinforced by the tabloid press’s subtle social control. That press shapes the public’s expectations of others’ identities, even when those identities are chasms away from reality. Celebrities who master this press environment — Ms. Swift included — can bolster their business, but in doing so, they reinforce a heteronormative culture that obsesses over pregnancy, women’s bodies and their relationships with men.

That environment is at odds with the American movement for L.G.B.T.Q. equality, which still has fights to win — most pressingly, enshrining trans rights and squashing nonsensical culture wars. But lately I’ve heard many of my young queer contemporaries — and the occasional star — wonder whether the movement has come far enough to dispense with the often messy, often uncomfortable process of coming out, over and over again.

That questioning speaks to an earnest conundrum that queer people confront regularly: Do we live in this world, or the world to which we ought to aspire?

Living in aspiration means ignoring the convention of coming out in favor of just … existing. This is easier for those who can pass as cis and straight if need be, those who are so wealthy or white that the burden of hiding falls to others and those who live in accepting urban enclaves. This is a queer life without friction; coming out in a way straight people can see is no longer a prerequisite for acceptance, fulfillment and equality.

This aspiration is tremendous, but in our current culture, it is available only to a privileged few. Should such an inequality of access to aspiration become the accepted state of affairs, it would leave those who can’t hide to face society’s cruelest actors without the backing of a vocal, activated community. So every queer person who takes issue with the idea that we must come out ought to ask a simple question — what do we owe one another?

If coming out is primarily supposed to be an act of self-actualization, to form our own identities, then we owe one another nothing. This posture recognizes that the act of coming out implicitly reinforces straight and cis identities as default, which is not worth the rewards of outness.

But if coming out is supposed to be a radical act of resistance that seeks to change the way our society imagines people to be, then undeniable visibility is essential to make space for those without power. In this posture, queer people who can live in aspiration owe those who cannot a real world in which our expansive views of love and gender aren’t merely tolerated but celebrated. We have no choice but to actively, vocally press against the world we’re in, until no one is stuck in it.

And so just for a little while longer, we need our heroes.

But if queer people spend all of our time holding out for a guiding light, we might forgo a more pressing question that if answered, just might inch all of us a bit closer to aspiration. The next time heroes appear, are we ready to receive them?

It takes neither a genius nor a radical to see queerness implied by Ms. Swift’s work. But figuring out how to talk about it before the star labels herself is another matter. Right now, those who do so must inject our perceptions with caveats and doubt or pretend we cannot see it (a lie!) — implicitly acquiescing to convention’s constraints in the name of solidarity.

Lying is familiar to queer people; we teach ourselves to do it from an early age, shrouding our identities from others, and ourselves. It’s not without good reason. To maintain the safety (and sometimes the comfort) of the closet, we lie to others, and, most crucially, we allow others to believe lies about us, seeing us as something other than ourselves. Lying is doubly familiar to those of us who are women. To reduce friction, so many of us still shrink life to its barest version in the name of honor or safety, rendering our lives incomplete, our minds lobotomized and our identities unexplored.

By maintaining a culture of lying about what we, uniquely, have the knowledge and experience to see, we commit ourselves to a vow of silence. That vow may protect someone’s safety, but when it is applied to works of culture, it stymies our ability to receive art that has the potential to change or disrupt us. As those with queer identity amass the power of commonplaceness, it’s worth questioning whether the purpose of one of the last great taboos that constrains us befits its cost.

In every case, is the best form of solidarity still silence?

I know that discussing the potential of a star’s queerness before a formal declaration of identity feels, to some, too salacious and gossip-fueled to be worthy of discussion. They might point to the viciousness of the discourse around “queerbaiting” (in which I have participated); to the harm caused by the tabloid press’s dalliances with outing; and, most crucially, to the real material sacrifices that queer stars make to come out, again and again, as reasons to stay silent.

I share many of these reservations. But the stories that dominate our collective imagination shape what our culture permits artists and their audiences to say and be. Every time an artist signals queerness and that transmission falls on deaf ears, that signal dies. Recognizing the possibility of queerness — while being conscious of the difference between possibility and certainty — keeps that signal alive.

So, whatever you make of Ms. Swift’s sexual orientation or gender identity (something that is knowable, perhaps, only to her) or the exact identity of her muses (something better left a mystery), choosing to acknowledge the Sapphic possibility of her work has the potential to cut an audience that is too often constrained by history, expectation and capital loose from the burdens of our culture.

To start, consider what Ms. Swift wrote in the liner notes of her 2017 album, “reputation”: “When this album comes out, gossip blogs will scour the lyrics for the men they can attribute to each song, as if the inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test.”

Listen to her. At the very least, resist the urge to assume that when Ms. Swift calls the object of her affection “you” in a song, she’s talking about a man with whom she’s been photographed. Just that simple choice opens up a world of Swiftian wordplay. She often plays with pronouns, trading “you” and “him” so that only someone looking for a distinction between two characters might find one. Turns of phrase often contain double or even triple meanings. Her work is a feast laid specifically for the close listener.

Choosing to read closely can also train the mind to resist the image of an unmarried woman that compulsory heterosexuality expects. And even if it is only her audience who points at rainbows, reading Ms. Swift’s work as queer is still worthwhile, for it undermines the assumption that queer identity impedes pop superstardom, paving the way for an out artist to have the success Ms. Swift has.

After all, would it truly be better to wait to talk about any of this for 50, 60, 70 years, until Ms. Swift whispers her life story to a biographer? Or for a century or more, when Ms. Swift’s grandniece donates her diaries to some academic library, for scholars to pore over? To ensure that mea culpas come only when Ms. Swift’s bones have turned to dust and fragments of her songs float away on memory’s summer breeze?

I think not. And so, I must say, as loudly as I can, “I can see you,” even if I risk foolishness for doing so.

I remember the first time I knew I had seen Taylor Alison Swift break free from the trap of stardom. I wasn’t sitting in a crowded stadium in the pouring rain or cuddled up in a movie theater with a bag of popcorn. I was watching a grainy, crackling livestream of the Eras Tour, captured on a fan’s phone.

It’s late at night, the beginning of her acoustic set of surprise songs, this time performed in a yellow dress. She begins playing “Hits Different.” It’s a new song, full of puns, double entendres and wordplay, that toys with the glittering identities in which Ms. Swift indulges.

She’s rushing, as if stopping, even for a second, will cause her to lose her nerve. She stumbles at the bridge, pauses and starts again; the queen of bridges will not mess this up, not tonight.

There it is, at the bridge’s end: “Bet I could still melt your world; argumentative, antithetical dream girl.” An undeniable declaration of love to a woman. As soon as those words leave her lips, she lets out a whoop, pacing around the stage with a grin that cannot be contained.

For a moment, Ms. Swift was out of the woods she had created for herself as a teenager, floating above the trees. The future was within reach; she would, and will, soon take back the rest of her words, her reputation, her name. Maybe the world would see her, maybe it wouldn’t.

But on that stage, she found herself. I was there. Through a fuzzy fancam, I saw it.

And somehow, that was everything.

#ooooh my word this was BREATHTAKING and so well-said #because coming out is in fact a very delicate thing #full article here for the tumblr crowd!#taylor swift #articles #new york times #gaylor swift #gaylor #lover #chely wright

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wanderingokali · 3 months

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Eyed worms

Eyed worms are a large and diverse group of invertebrates in Okali. Ranging in size from a couple millimeters to one or two meters, these creatures are often brightly colored. They are segmented, with the number of sections varying between species, though the most common is 9. Each segment, except the last one, has four eyes, two on each side. They do not form very clear pictures, but are good at detecting fast movements. They have the ability to secrete a sort of black silk from their saliva, which they use to construct nests out of foraged materials, or cover their egg masses.

Most species are ground-dwelling or diggers, but they occupy a wide range of habitats, some are arboreal, for example!

Around their mouth, to manipulate objects or their silk, they have a set of agile pincers ending in a little claw. This claw is the one hard part of their body, which can be found and collected after the death of the animal.

Being made of enamel, it is very hard, and often sought after for various uses, such as jewelry or pens!

#okali #fantasy #wandering okali #species #art #graphi's things #worldbuilding #speculative biology #specbio #xenobiology #creature design

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vs120shound · 5 months

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Josee being The Real Smoking Girl: King size all-whites, Canadian packaging, pink top, black leather jacket, dangle-drag/exhaling!

JOSEE IS 'REAL' BEING JOSEE AND NO ONE ELSE!

And it is a full-time job with a child and her SF Entrepreneur's business to run, which needs plenty of nurturing and sustaining -- time, energy and concentration. And it must require quite the effort, at least to a degree to ensure that she is at her best when it comes to her scintillatingly hot appearances nearly every time the camera (smartphone) is rolling!

From george123 on Smoking Fetish Kingdom who is the same character as one of our mainstays on the tumblr SF-Content-posting division george2011123! Posted on December 8, 2023. Josee (www.real-smoking-girl.com) was an Honorable Mention selection for the "unofficial" official Top-25 all-time favorite SF models list on vs120shound released in January 2023.

Matching/Competitive Post of Josee on lostlighter23!

From lostlighter23 on December 9, 2023 . . .

#SF #Hot women who love smoking cigarettes #Smoking cigarettes #Smoking #Josee (Real-Smoking-Girl/real_smokinggirl)!

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beansricejc · 8 months

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John Wick x F!Reader: Fake It

summary: AU, in a post apocalyptic world, John has assigned himself a daunting task. he buys you off of a group of raiders, and you don’t necessarily have a choice when he has you help with his mission. in fact, it’s either your help, or his wrath. 5382 words.

warnings: unprotected piv, NONcon, fuck or die, breeding k!nk, creampie, cursing, threats of violence, firearms, human trafficking, forced breeding, kidnapping. Dead Dove, Do Not Eat! Minors DNI. not proofread!

author’s note: here’s to my darkest yet, if you like this one, please support me by liking and reblogging, Ty!

The infection spread efficiently and ruthlessly. Originating at a scientific testing facility in Toronto, it didn’t take very long for the world to go to shit. Zombies made life a hell of a lot worse for everyone on the planet.

And 5 years later, the population declined by 70 percent. Everyone surviving now was either in some sort of encampment, a survivor in the wasteland, or, in John’s case, in a repopulation center.

About fifty miles north of Rock Springs, Wyoming, is a fortification built by John and as the group of men that all had the same goal.

Survive.

Soon enough, they made a name for themselves after trading with raiders who would snatch up female survivors. John was picky. They needed to be healthy, with good genetics, and the ability to carry a child. Just because you had a pussy didn’t just mean free access to the compound, there were standards.

So when a truck full of raiders pulled up to the large gates of John’s fortress and dragged you out of it, John’s immediately intrigued. You’re kicking and screaming into the duct tape gag over your lips, definitely not making it easy for the three burly men to hoist you over for John to inspect you.

Your eyes widen at the middle aged man with long hair, it’s slicked back in a ponytail and he’s got a full beard. He honestly reminds you of those vinyl hipsters before the infection, but meaner.

His sharp brown eyes scan your body, he likes what he sees. Of course you don’t know this, no one does, for John is a master at hiding his emotions.

“She’ll do.” John states plainly, standing up straight and facing the raiders. ‘She’ll do’ was the understatement of the year, he was absolutely attracted to you. Of course he can’t let that show, otherwise the raiders will demand more items to trade you for.

“100 rounds of 9 millimeter ammunition, and four medical packs. I’ll even throw in three gallons of gasoline.” John offers, the raiders immediately grunt in agreement, the leader shaking John’s hand to seal the deal.

You’re still kicking and struggling against your restraints, refusing to be auctioned off like a damn cow. Oh if only you knew what you were in for.

In reality, John has never used his own sperm for his repopulation project. It’s only been his own men, which he has plenty of. His fortification’s ratio of women to men is 1:15, which just goes to show how rare females are in the apocalypse. Women are a hot commodity, and no amount of feminist waves are going to stop that. Men will be men, thirsting over the opposite sex, and once they lay their eyes on one? They’ll stop at nothing to get a piece.

Revolting to think about but it’s just the truth. It is the end of the world after all.

“Take her to my quarters. Now.” John orders his group of men, which two of them scoop you up from the dirt road as you squirm and scream into your gag. John sees your futile determination, and it lights a fire within him.

If he’s not careful, he’s going to get hard in front of everyone at the gate.

John cleared his throat and walked ahead, trying to think of quite literally anything else as he attempted to get his mind off of you, and hearing your muffled pleas for mercy don’t help him in the slightest. A tingle trickles down his long spine, and the little hairs on his arm rise as goosebumps begin to form, just from hearing your voice.

“Shit.” He murmured to himself, as he books it to the nearest building, he needs to distract himself quickly.

John’s men heave you into his personal cabin, plopping you down on the comfy vintage looking couch in the corner. You grunt and the men scurry out of the cabin. They know better than to look at John’s new prize.

Little do any of them know, you’re a fighter. Surviving in the wasteland alone is an impressive feat. A feat you have only overcome because you’re tough as hell. You can hunt, scavenge, shoot, stab, whatever it takes to survive, you can do it. The only reason why you’re here in the first place is because 5 grimy raiders jumped you while you were resting in an abandoned building. You felt pathetic, now in the predicament of a lifetime.

There were a few options.

You knew this fancy trick where you could dislocate your own shoulder blades in order to force your arms to be in front of you instead of being bound from behind. Painful but quick, then you could take your gag off and then thrust your arms into your own torso. The fast motion and force would tear the tape from your hands.

But then there were all of the men outside. There was about, what? 30, 40 men from what you could count when the two guards brought you inside. There were women too, not very many though, and for some odd reason, they were all pregnant.

Noticeably so.

You were good at killing, but 40 all at once? You didn’t have a chance in hell.

So, either a suicide mission, or you could wait it out and see what the hell was going on.

You decide on the latter.

Not to mention, those raiders stole all of the equipment and weapons that you had. So that fucking sucks.

Waiting it out sucks too. You may or may not have dozed off on the old comfy couch, your taped face resting against the floral patterned fabric while you rested. Awoken only by the soft sound of the wooden door creaking open, you decided to fake being asleep. Maybe it would give some sort of insight on what the hell was going to happen to you.

John’s boots squeak over the wooden flooring, he groans and immediately goes for the large glass bottle that was sealed underneath the small sink in his cabin.

John’s living space is very nice compared to the other residents in his compound. It’s about 750 square feet of a cabin that looks like it’s straight from the 70s. The small home is of course run on a solar powered generator, providing semi luxury living in the apocalypse.

You noticed this when you were scanning the place for any noticeable weapons to use to your advantage. Unfortunately there wasn’t much.

Nothing out in the open anyway. You continue to fake sleep, laying down on the couch with your pretty eyes closed.

John grunts as he flips through a stack of papers, figuring you would be asleep when he arrived. He knows you’ve been tied up in here for about three hours. The man takes a few steps over towards the couch, looking over it and staring at your lying figure. His heart rate goes up by a few beats.

“Gorgeous, might have to keep you for myself.” John mumbles under his breath, you catch the comment.

John looks at his papers, scribbling a few words down. While he looks at your sleeping face, he debates on whether to wake you up or not. He does. John’s large and calloused hand runs through your hair for a moment, and now you can’t help but open your eyes. This gives you a good time to study your captor’s facial features, he’s towering over you at the moment.

His back bends over and his hand that rubbed your head is now ripping the duct tape off of your mouth as if it were a bandaid. Yelping, you glare at him and clench your jaw.

“Hey shithead, that fucking hurt!” You cough out, gritting your teeth. His stoic expression seemed to lighten for a whole three seconds before he jotted something down on that stack of papers, before sitting in a recliner that was against a wall.

His jeans rub against the leather of the seat, and his brown eyes never leave you, paying even more attention when you manage to wriggle your way up into somewhat of a seated position.

“You’re probably wondering what you’re doing here.” John’s voice is gravelly, and he even seems a bit awkward. “I’m sorry, I typically don’t do anything with intake. Made an exception this time.”

You frown, more confused than anything.

John’s hands fumble with the stack of papers that’s in his hands, as he goes over a few pages before looking up at you again.

“Can I start with your name?”

Blinking a few times, it wasn’t what you were expecting. You could tell him a lie but for some reason your conscious is screaming at you to tell the truth.

So you do, your first name falls from your lips as if you’re talking to a trusted peer. Last names don’t matter anymore in the apocalypse, it’s just one of those things that fell off of the importance scale.

John hums out loud, nodding as he writes your name down, crossing his legs.

“Age?”

You tell him the truth. His bottom lip sticks out a bit and he nodded, jotting that down as well.

“Still have some time left.” John breathes out, so softly that you can’t even hear him.

“Marital status?”

You frown again.

“Why does it matter?” you asked, looking at John with this dumbfounded expression. He sighs.

“Just, whatever it was before the infection.” John elaborates. Still. It was quite irrelevant. At least to you.

“Engaged.” You tell him, honesty is the best policy here. “Died a few years ago.”

John paused before writing anything down.

“Sorry to hear that.” John apologizes, his expression is quite somber, as if he’s recalling bad memories. His canine tooth is digging into his tongue. “Any allergies?”

This strange interrogation went on for about 25 minutes, with answers you provided and small talk in between. You don’t know why but you’re starting to feel a bit more comfortable around him.

“Let me get to the chase.” John sighed, he had told you his name in the middle of your conversation, and it’s been nice having a name to put next to his face. It was so simple and so fitting. John.

“You have two options. Both are similar but one is much nicer than the other.” John tells you, as the hairs on your neck stand up. Your fingers twitch from behind, it’s hard to contain your anxiousness when you’re bound.

“You’re a woman that’s in excellent health, a diamond in the rough, really. Your age is decent for it as well.” John mentions. “You’re also such a sight for sore eyes. I haven’t even seen anyone come in here that was close to looking like you.” He sighs.

Silence fills the room as we stare at each other.

“Our goal at my compound is to do our best to repopulate the country, and to inspire other groups to do as we do.” He explains further. “We have an extensive human breeding program in our compound. It’s a requirement for the females that are brought here to participate.”

During his entire ramble his dark eyes have been ogling your legs and hips.

“So, here are your options.” He starts.

You can’t even fucking believe what you’re hearing right now. The pure shock is causing a ringing in your ears, and you barely pick up what he’s telling you next. John stands from his recliner and takes a few steps towards you.

“I’ll assign you to a random member of our community. You’ll live with him, and he’ll be attempting to conceive with you, my men aren’t known really for being all too kind or gentle.” John says, clasping his hands in front of him.

Your heart is racing and John notices the panic running through your body.

“If they don’t take a liking to you after you reach conception, we’ll just send you to live with the other women on the other side of the fortress.” John shrugs, tapping his boot restlessly on the cabin floor. “Or…” his large hand grabs your chin and lifts it to force you to look up at him.

His rough feeling thumb rolls over your bottom lip, the gears in his head turning while he takes a deep breath. “I can keep you for myself.”

John’s taking in every aspect of your body language and face, he’s noticing the way you are just barely trembling under his touch. He’s really hoping you don’t notice his cock twitch in his pants. He’s gotta get ahold of himself, honestly, he’s a grown man. Why are you making him feel like a horny teenager all over again?

You’re going over the options in your head, while still attempting to find anything to bash John over the head with. But your arms are still bound behind your back. As it stands, you’re completely at the mercy of the long haired man who’s practically drooling over you.

Your pretty eyes blink up at him as your mind races, your heart thumps, it feels like you might even pass out. Was this even real? This had to be a nightmare, right?! Right. There was absolutely no way you were traded for some bullets, gasoline, and a first aid kit and dragged into a human breeding camp, right? All you had to do was wake up.

Wake up. Come on.

Fucking wake up.

Except it was all too real, proven to you by the lingering sting on your mouth from the ripped duct tape. Your lip was even bleeding a bit still from the injury.

Shit.

“I wanna show you how good I am.” John interrupts your rampant train of thought, and snaps you back into your hell hole of a reality. His hand clenches a bit harder against your face, thumb shoving inside of your mouth once you open it to respond to him. This move gives you no time to even create words, instead it gives off a risqué image. An image John is enjoying purely for himself, of his large thumb in between your pretty pink lips. John grunts.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” John asks rhetorically. “God you’re stunning, your parents really blessed you with good genetics.”

You have no idea what the hell you should do, so you do what you think would be best in this scenario.

You suck his thumb. The act in itself is suggestive, but with your pretty eyes batting up at him, your lips around his finger, and a slight bob of your head.

You have John in a frenzy. There’s a bead of sweat that even rolls down the back of his neck, as his breath hitches to the sight of you taking his finger into your lips.

“We could make such good looking children.” John groans at the sight of you. “Please, just, oh god.” His eyes roll to the back of his head. John pulls his thumb from your mouth as he catches his breath.

He’s been anticipating finding the right woman to come along. Delusional as he currently is, he thinks he’s been waiting all of these years just to meet you. It has to be fate, right? You’re just so perfect to him.

“Just, ugh, fuck it.” John growls, his right hand latched onto your throat as he forcibly kissed your dry lips. You gasp in surprise, as his grip on your throat becomes tighter.

“Wa-wait!” you choke out, it doesn’t stop him. He easily grabs your body and brings it to his bed, tossing you onto the mattress. You sit up quickly, but then hear a click, the feeling of cold metal pressing against your head makes you freeze.

Looking up, John’s smiling down at you, his heart fluttering at the mere sight of you. He’s holding a pistol straight to your temple, clicking his tongue at you while your pretty eyes widen at the sudden tension change.

“No waiting, sweetpea.” John grumbles as you notice the handgun safety is off. Shit. “You’re gonna cooperate. I’m not going to let you make that choice, there’s no way in hell I’m letting my men breed you.”

The gun is still being pressed against your skull as he grabs a book from his bedside table, he flips through a few pages and reads the contents over. You’re not able to see what he’s reading since you don’t dare make any sudden movements. His eyes are still on the book while he asks you a question.

“When did you last menstruate?”

You’re still in shock from everything he’s said so far, and this certainly didn’t help.

“Uh, what?” you can’t even comprehend the fact that he asked you such a personal question.

John pressed the gun to your head harder. “Answer me!” he yelled, frustrated at your stalling. John’s deep and frightening voice bellows off of the wooden walls of his cabin, making you wince.

“I think like, 2 and a half weeks ago?” you shakily reply, it feels like you’re about to pass out from the chaotic situation at hand.

He hums affirmatively and grabs a knife, flicking it open.

“No, no please! Please I-“

He goes to cut the tape off from your wrists, crumpling it into a ball and tossing it into the trash nearby. John chuckles at your sudden fear as he continues to hold the gun to your head.

“I haven’t made love to anyone since my wife died.” John croaked out, his eyes looking a little empty and off to the distance as he spoke. He shakes the firearm a bit to intimidate you a bit. As if you’re not already. There’s a gentle smile that plays on his lips and a crazed glint in his brown eyes.

“I never partook in the repopulation process, I just could never see myself making love to any of those other women.” He informs you. “But, you? You’re just,” he takes a sharp inhale and bites his lip. “I think I can manage to be passionate with you.” John whispers, rubbing the back of his neck and nodding to himself. “You're going to reciprocate. Like we’ve known each other for years. And you’re going to do a good job, if not,” he taps the barrel of the gun against your head. You’re trembling beneath him.

“Think you can do that for me?” John asks, looking back at his book and flipping through some pages.

You reluctantly nod, battling the urge to scream and fight for your life. He gives you that same deranged but soft smile, sighing in relief as if he was expecting you to say no, as if there wasn’t the threat of death in the air.

“By the way,” he sighs. “My name’s John.”

You nod awkwardly, as he looks over his book for a few more moments.

“The book says that missionary is the position that has the most success in conceiving.” John mentions, as the reality sets in. This is actually happening. You feel like your world is collapsing in on itself. “Really sell it to me; okay? I’d hate to shoot you.”

All you can do is force a nervous smile and nod, before he sets his firearm down on the bedside table. John continued to stare at you before he cleared his throat.

“Well? Take your clothes off for me, sweet pea.”

You’re slightly disgusted that you’re even listening to the orders that John is giving you. As if you actually have known him for years now. As if you loved him. Your stomach feels sick, you attempt to hide your disdain as you quickly peel off your long sleeve shirt, before John places his hand on your arm before you can pull it over your head.

“Put it back on.”

You let out a deep exhale through your nose, eyebrows furrowing, but you obey. Slipping the shirt back over your body.

“I changed my mind. Stand up.” John commands, as he switches positions, sitting where you were on the bed, as you rise. “Do a strip tease for me.”

He had to be fucking with you now. So you frown and grimace at the thought.

“You’re kidding.” you laugh.

John reaches for his gun.

“Okay! Okay, fine.” You grunt, sighing. You didn’t even know how to do such a thing. John smiles wickedly, leaning back a bit on his bed as you turn around from him. Your hands slowly lift your shirt up, and over your head, John’s staring at your bare skin while the shirt drops to the floor. He bites the inside of his cheek while his shaft presses against his jeans.

You undress to only your undergarments, and you quite literally have no idea what to do next. You really don’t want to wing it and anger him, but you have a feeling if he keeps guiding you through it he’ll lose his patience. So you turn around, surprised to see John with his belt and pants undone.

His large hand is giving his own cock a few long strokes. Speaking of long.

You’re terrified of what that thing is going to do to you tonight. The tip is thick in itself, that’s the spot John’s hand seems to give the most attention. He’s even bucking his hips and thrusting upwards into the grip of his own hand, his eyes never leaving your body.

“Sell it to me. Don’t make me question it. If you don’t, I’ll fucking kill you.” John moans, and your heartbeat races. You notice his free hand is gripping his gun that’s sitting on the mattress.

It’s now or never.

You’ve done this a few times before, it’s been years, but you can probably fake it pretty well. Right?

You saunter up to him, mustering up all of the energy in your body to act this out as realistically as you can.

It’s not like John was ugly. He had a handsome face, you can tell he’s in shape, with those brown eyes that seem to stare into your soul. And you have a thing for big noses anyway. Not to mention, his cock looks really nice.

Alright. You got this.

You straddle his waist, biting your plump lip and taking John’s shirt for him.

“Can’t just have me take my clothes off without you doing the same. Or it’s not fair.” You tease, giggling while your small hand grazes John’s lower shaft in a playful manner, pulling your hand away just as quick.

You were right. He is in shape. He’s lean with a muscular figure, alright, you’ll admit it, he’s attractive. This will help sell it.

“John, baby…” you mew, batting your eyelashes. His breathing gets heavier when you call him that. Okay, that’s good. He likes that.

“You should touch me instead.” you tell him softly, removing his hand from his cock and moving it to your breasts. John even lets go of his gun to unclasp your bra from behind your back. Your nipples harden from the cool cabin air hitting them, and John’s fingertips run over both of them.

“My pretty girl,” he grunts. John’s hands travel down to your hips and he grabs them with a killer grip. You try your best not to wince, but you know damn well there’s going to be bruises all over your after this.

“Our baby’s going to be beautiful…” he mumbles as his lips attach themselves to your neck, planting kisses on your throat. One of his hands trace down to your underwear, sliding it to the side a bit as his finger gently moves onto your clit. You jerk a bit from the sudden pressure, John chuckles at your reaction and from how wet you are, despite him forcing you to go through this.

“Oh yeah. You’re lucky that I make so much cum. It makes this process so much easier.” John tells you, and for some reason, it makes your stomach jump.

A whimper escapes you as he massages your sensitive nub, your head burying itself in the crook of his neck and collarbone, you’re instinctively grinding yourself against his finger.

You hate to admit it but this feels fantastic. It’s been years since you’ve even touched someone else like this. Shit, it’s the end of the world, the last thing that’s been on your mind was a good fuck.

That’s when you feel the gun against your chest this time. The barrel is ice cold compared to John’s flesh, and you look into John’s eyes as he continues to rub your clit.

“Say it.” John demands, finger on the trigger, with that same deranged twinkle in his brown eyes.

“S-say what?” You blubber out in between needy moans. John frowns.

“You know what I mean. Say it like you mean it.” He orders. He must get off on this. John’s gotta get off on having a helpless woman in his arms, with the threat of her losing her life, while also pleasuring her to the brink of euphoria.

You know what he means. But those three words, they’re important. You can’t just throw those around at every crazed man that insists on it. They’re reserved for people who actually deserve it.

Well, you are pretending after all.

The metal digs harder into your upper breast, and you grunt.

“John, I love you.”

He tossed the gun onto the floor and grabbed you closer, kissing you frantically as he took off the rest of his clothing, switching positions so he’s now on top of you.

You hate yourself for liking the way he smells. For the way you moan whenever he touches you in a pleasurable way. You don’t want a child, let alone want a child with an insane, breeding obsessed man.

John’s breathing is ragged while he lifts your hips up, yanking your thong off and sliding a pillow under the small of your back.

“Gravity, it helps sperm reach the cervix.” John musters out in between sloppy kisses between your neck, jaw, and mouth. “Won’t last long, it’s been years since I’ve done this.” he says, quickly moving his cock towards your mouth as you’re pinned down to his mattress. “Come on.”

You unhappily oblige. Opening your mouth to let his dick travel through your lips and down your throat. Swirling your tongue quickly around the shaft as he groans in pleasure from above, pulling himself out quickly. Strings of your saliva hang from his tip as he spreads around the moisture all around his erection. He lines himself up with your cunt, spreading your legs and even lifting each one onto his shoulders.

Fear sets in as you know he’s going to go deep. John shudders in pure ecstasy as he inserts his tip into you, the natural lube helps but it’s been far too long, your initial reaction is to dig your nails into his muscular back and wince.

It’s weird, John seems to actually care about your pleasure. Which in itself is odd since he’s a complete stranger, with only one goal in mind at the moment. He peers down at you, reading your facial expressions, before his thumb lightly kneads your clit once again.

His other hand goes towards your face, stroking your warm and flushed cheek as he kisses your calf that’s placed on his shoulder. Your cunt is now in a mixture of pain and pleasure, confusing you as grunts and whimpers leave your mouth.

“That better? When I do that?” John questions, his long hair draping over his eyes.

You nod.

John begins to thrust, slow and shallow, actually allowing you to adjust to his size. “Say it again, pretty girl.” he grumbled, pushing deeper into your tight cunt. You yelp from the sheer girth that is his cock, nails still making wounds into his flesh.

“I love you! I love you, John!” you cry out, his fingers moving faster on your clit while his thrusts quicken. You still have to sell it to him, so you reach your small hands up to his face and pull him into your own, slamming your lips onto his. You can help but moan loudly against his lips, since the slight repositioning of his body has given him even deeper access to your pussy.

But even this, you can’t fake. Your moans and pleads for more are all too real. And by the way John is wickedly smiling down at you, he can tell. Your tits bounce in rhythm to his movements, as he goes faster, chasing his own climax.

While he pounds into you, you can feel yourself getting close. Your legs instinctively tighten around John’s shoulders as you wheeze. John puts his large hand over your womb, feeling his bulge move in and out of you as he fucks you. His teeth dig into his bottom lip, drawing blood, going absolutely feral at the thought of his seed working it’s way inside of you.

“You’re gonna be my good little breeding doll, aren’t ya? It’s for the greater good, sweetpea.” John moans out, while sweat drips from his forehead. “For the greater good, greater good,” He’s repeating the phrase to himself as he fucks into you, his balls smacking the cusp of your cunt and ass. You can hardly handle the sheer overstimulation you’re experiencing, barely realizing he’s speaking to you.

“Tell me you love me, sweetheart.” John growls. “Be a good little wife, come on now.”

You feel your orgasm drawing closer the faster he goes. You’ve definitely had good sex but nothing like this. It was wrong. You didn’t want it. You don’t even know this man. Tears brimmed your eyelids as you made unhinged noises underneath him.

“I, I l-love you, J-John,” you manage to sputter out, suddenly, you’re seeing double since your eyes are crossing, your orgasm hitting you like a brick.

Your cunt clenched around John’s cock, sending him over the edge. He holds you closer to his large muscular frame, his arms swimming under your back and squeezing you tight. John grunts and moans as he cums, panting as he fills you with it.

“That’s right, baby doll, take my seed, that’s it.” John moans, keeping himself buried deep into your pussy as it finishes dripping out of him. Setting you back down on the mattress, John notices your body that’s completely limp from your cock drunk state. You can hardly move but that doesn’t stop you from feeling John’s cum shooting inside of you.

He strokes your cheek gently and smiles, sucking the blood from his lip and sighing.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you?” John asks, planting messy kisses on your bare chest and torso, caressing your stomach as he does so. He pulls out, keeping your thighs and hips elevated on the pillow beneath you.

You can hardly think, hell, you can hardly breathe. The weight of the situation sets in your chest but you can’t deal with the emotional repercussions of it at the moment. All you can think of is that gun that’s on the bedside table.

You hate that he made you cum so easily.

You hate the feeling of his cum dripping further into your cunt.

You hate that you didn’t just let him shoot you in the damn head.

You hate that he has a pretty smile and pretty eyes, no matter how demented they look.

You fucking hate that you’re probably going to miss your next period.

You swear you’re gonna be sick.

John is sitting on the edge of the bed, hunched over to grab his underwear and pants. Against your better judgement, your arm thrashes towards the firearm on the table, and you graze the barrel against the back of his skull of long dark hair. To your surprise, he doesn’t budge, and when your small finger pulls the trigger…

Click.

Another damn click.

You frown, pressing the magazine release button, only to realize it has been empty the entire time.

Your hands shake with the hunk of metal in them, your jaw clenching.

You swear you’re seeing red, as John lets out a deep throaty laugh from above.

It’s that handsome shit eating grin again.

Pearly whites accompanied by his five o’clock shadow, he’s already tied his long hair back and is even giving you a nod of appreciation.

“Oh, now I know I chose the right woman to carry my child.”

#john wick #john wick x you #jw #john wick x reader #john wick x y/n #keanu reeves #john wick imagine #jw4 #keanu #john wick fanfic #john wick one shot

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darkleysgarden · 1 year

Text

Asmodeus Facts!

As a lore person and Asmo lover, I present this.

I am willing to add more as I think of them or as they are suggested (with proof).

13+

1. As most people know: Asmo has canonically given Solomon hickeys before.

2. His favorite animal is a resplendent quetzal. (A bird)

3. Asmo unintentionally was a huge factor in the Trojan War starting.

4. Raphael used to scold Asmo a lot, causing him to dislike Raphael. He doesn't feel this way anymore.

5. He sleeps naked.

6. Asmo's biggest fear is turning ugly and essentially loosing all of his worth.

7. He can smell if people are romantically interested in each other.

8. He has had a face lift before.

9. A lot of fan mail is sent to the RAD suggestion box for him.

10. He is *surprisingly* not very flexible.

11. Has referred to Mc as his 'Bestie'. He and Lucifer have also said that he was madly in love with them. So... why not both?

12. *TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDER*

He panics over gaining the slightest amount, down to a kilogram of weight or a millimeter more onto his waist. He also goes on diets and refuses to eat frequently. Satan has also stated that he's seen Asmo sneak snacks in the middle of the night. All of this implies that he struggles with an eating disorder.

13. Mammon once found a 'crazy provocative' outfit in his room that was 'FULL of holes!' (Turns out it was one of his favorite outfits chewed up by moths!)

14. In the Celestial Realm he was known as the 'Jewel of the Heavens'. Simeon states that Asmo is still constantly trying to live up to that standard.

15. Y'know how some people can tie a knot in a cherry stem? Well Asmo can tie a butterfly knot!

16. Asmo's dyed his hair pink before and presumably still does on occasions.

17. Asmo is the one who paints all the brother's nails. And this is typically done with a paint brush, not the average nail polish brush.

18. He always puts on a face mask right before he goes to bed.

19. Asmo prefers smooth red bean paste over chunky.

20. He hates being cold and the downsides of winter, like dry skin. Yet, he does love the aesthetic of winter.

21. He doesn't like carrying people as he believes it will cause him to gain muscle. He believes he's more desirable thin.

22. When he first met Solomon, he was in the middle of crying alone at a bar. Solomon came up to him to ask if he was okay. This, and the rest of their conversations that night, eventually led to their current relationship.

23. He enjoys gossiping with Satan.

24. While most demons dislike uses of pacts, Asmo finds them heavily thrilling.

25. He admits to admiring Lucifer the most.

26. Asmo believes that he can always rely on Satan.

27. Asmo enjoys hanging out with Mammon and becomes proud of him for his accomplishments. Though, he likes teasing him because it keeps him on his toes and he believes that Mammon acts the most foolish out of all of them.

28. Demon's have to give their human pact mate something to allow summonings. Asmo gifted Solomon a gigantic oil painting of himself. It was notably his favorite 'selfie' at the time.

29. He is a dog person. He prefers big dogs to little ones.

30. He's never read the student handbook despite being on the student council.

31. Is actually pretty good at juggling a ball with his feet. Good enough to score 5th place out of the 15 characters.

32. Satan has allowed him to copy off of his homework before.

33. His birthday is May 15th, making him a Taurus.

34. He put together Levi's human world outfit.

35. He hates his true demon form, something Mammon often jokes about.

36. Asmo is the weakest brother in terms of strength. He gets worn out incredibly easily. (Maybe because of fact 12 and your refusal to gain muscle or weight. What am I going to do with you, love?)

37. A large amount of his fan base calls him 'daddy'.

38. He frequently teases Levi about having no friends.

39. Really good at rock-papper-scissors.

40. Doesn't really care what happens to him as long as he looks cute during. Even if it's a terrible curse.

41. He is an extremely emotional drunk. He will start sobbing when intoxicated in the slightest.

42. He is not ashamed about his own dirty mind. He even calls out Mammon for having one too.

43. Ass or Tits? Asmo chooses ass.

44. Doodles in textbooks. He even left a kiss mark in Solomon's once when borrowing it.

45. Lucifer practically goes, "Keep the door open" Whenever he catches Solomon, Mc, or anyone else hanging out with Asmo.

46. Isn't good at silly faces. He ends up looking gorgeous instead of silly.

47. Can be horrifying when angry. Beel is more scared of an angry Asmo than an angry Lucifer.

48. Mc is practically the first ever person to like him romantically and not sexually. He has said that no one before Mc has ever complimented his personality before, only his looks.

49. Loves bonding with his brothers even if they're completely opposite of him. He remembers more about Ruri-chan than any of the other brothers (hinted at) just because he actually cares to listen to Levi and bond with him.

50. What part of his body does he wash first when bathing? Well, you'll have to bathe with him to find out~

51. He held his first Asmofest/Asmo gathering 7 days after his birth. These are now held several times a month. He spends time with people he likes, usually drinking. Lucifer is present at most of them.

52. Asmo once wished to have 8 heads. His brother's made him give up on this dream.

53. Asmo requested that Levi write him a novel. This novel was called Space Pajama Party: The Great Beauty War. The hero of the stories name was 'The Hero'. The Hero is based off of MC and the character Atan is based off Levi.

54. According to Asmo, he looks best shot from the left at about a 40 degree angle.

55. It's highly likely that Asmo was the main designer for the guest/Mc's room. Comparing his room to the room, his influence is obvious.

56. He owns an absurd amount of clothes, beauty products, and bathing products.

57. He is terrible at remembering stuff about other people. He even failed a quiz about Solomon, who he considers himself to be insanely close to (This, presumably, does not apply to MC).

58. He works as an influencer on DevilTube and Devilgram. He also does designing. He designs products, clothes, etc. These designs are most notably shown at Majolish but can be seen all around the Devildom. He usually doesn't get paid in grimm for designing, receiving products, and samples instead. He says he prefers that in all honesty (He'd just buy the stuff with grimm anyway).

59. He used to be close to Belphie back in the Celestial Realm. Beel even said that Belphie was practically glued to Asmo's hip.

60. Asmo is the one who came up with the name 'Team Solomon'. Barbatos wasn't a big fan of the name.

61. He was implied to have fucked Santa Claus

62. Even though he is the shortest brother, he often looks taller because he wears heels.

63. Asmodeus knew of Solomon's horrible cooking skills before any of the others. When Solomon tried to serve everybody at the Demon Lord's castle, he purposefully didn't eat any of Solomon's cooking.

64. Asmo is really sensitive about his brother's compliments. One compliment from any of them could bring him to tears easily.

65. During the retreat to the Demon Lord's castle, Asmo becomes heavily affectionate for MC. One of the things he first does is inspect them head to toe, checking their ears, teeth, fingers, etc. This supports him saying that he wishes to know EVERYTHING about MC and potentially any other lover.

66. He doesn't like washing the dishes because it makes his skin rough.

67. To some peoples surprise, he is really good with kids. He even worked with them in the human world. Though, Satan commented that he wouldn't trust his kid with Asmo. He also often makes inappropriate jokes in front of Luke. But, he just shrugs them off and tells Luke that he'll understand when he's older.

68. Asmo enjoys "healing music"

69. (😏) He's a switch. He's quoted to have said, "I'll make you squeal for me!" As well as, "You wanna try some other spots too? Go ahead, I'm all yours." These are two of many lines that help imply this.

70. Despite what many think, he does have standards. He also is not appreciative of randomly being used as an object of beauty or sex. Though he's admitted that he can easily see the good in everyone and finds everyone a little bit attractive in their own way. He also says that he flirts with people so often because his happiness spreads to others and ends up making more people happy. So many people like him, because he likes so many people. Simple as that. But, this doesn't mean he will appreciate just anybody.

71. He didn't have an Asmo gathering for an entire year after the fall. His first one was held with MC as an honorary guest. Solomon couldn't make it.

72. He's implied to like fortune and horoscopes.

73. He doesn't like shopping with 'drab' shopping bags.

74. Asmo tends to photobomb and photo taken around him because he believes he is the most photo-worthy person/thing in the area.

75. He's seen to be unapologetic to any exes he has. He may even flirt with them despite them being annoyed with him.

76. Asmo is seen to heavily miss the Celestial Realm after falling. He repressed most of the feelings for awhile, but they overwhelmed him the first time he saw Simeon and Luke after everything happened.

77. He listed his pronouns on his FabSnap account as Fab/ulous

78. Asmo had trouble calling him and his brothers 'demons' instead of 'angels' for a while after falling.

79. He frequently calls Solomon 'his'.

80. He has a pair of flower earrings that he wears all the time.

81. Asmo, along with his brothers, have all experienced hate for being angels, ex-angels, and demons in different contexts.

82. He has an entire photo album dedicated to photos of himself as an angel.

83. Asmo is not only lustful, but has shown many signs of bloodlust. He even brings up ripping out MC's heart and tearing it open to see if they were telling the truth.

84. He openly admits to being turned on at random.

85. While his brothers fight over bathing order, Asmo likes to go have a nice long bath in his own bathroom just to taunt them.

86. Asmo is pansexual. Good for him.

87. He gets insecure if he doesn't get reassured of MC's love constantly. He texts demanding 'I love yous' and demands compliments.

88. Asmo likes to wear what Mammon calls 'skimpy underwear'.. (And more lingerie!)

89. He very rarely gets more than annoyed. Very rarely even gets annoyed. He isn't seen transforming into his demon form at all during the main story out of anger (And so far from what I've played in Nightbringer). Though, I have seen him transform once in a Devilgram, but he quickly calmed down in seconds.

90. Asmo thinks that drool is unattractive on a man (probably any other gender too, he didn't clarify). He often tells Beel this as a life lesson. (This also presumably does not apply to sex.)

New On May 15th:

91. Solomon has a very hard time saying no to Asmo

92. When giving out gifts, they frequently feature his face. If you're lucky, you may even find yourself with a nice new set of lingerie.

93. Asmo is good at singing, writing, and composing songs. Anywhere from a ballad to hard metal. He even sings live!

94. Solomon once gifted him bath salts made by an incubus. The affect of the charm was SO STRONG that Asmo had to drink an antidote made by Solomon. (It tasted surprisingly good)

95. Asmo is insecure about the fact that he is unable to use his charm ability on MC.

96. In Nightbringer, Satan says that Asmo is the brother he hates the least.

97. Asmo's favorite way to spend his birthday is with people close to him, not with big parties.

98. Asmo really dislikes bugs.

99. Asmo has gathered so many products that he can find something in his collection that works for people with completely different hair and skin from him.

100. He loves flowers, candles, soaps, whatever smell-filled things he can find. (Me who takes allergy medicine on the daily: bro you're gonna murder me the second I step foot in your room.)

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me one master to rule them all #swd asmodeus #asmodeusobeyme #obey me asmodeus #om! asmodeus #obey me lore #fun facts #obey me asmo #asmo <3 #asmodeus #miscellaneous facts #facts

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telekinesis-mind-control-comics · 2 months

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#gun #hand gun #pistol #hand cannon #glock #glock 19 #9 millimeter #gun gifs #gun gif #gifs #gif

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fursasaida · 5 months

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Tumblr won't turn the URL into a link card for whatever reason, so, here's a Washington Post article about Israel using white phosphorus in Lebanon. Some key points here, full text under the cut:

White phosphorus is technically legal when used to obscure military activities and at a distance from civilians. In this case it was directly targeted at homes in Dheira, a village near the Lebanese border with Israel. 4 homes were incinerated and 9 people injured in this particular attack on 10/16. Residents have been displaced.

Amnesty International has called for this to be treated as a war crime.

The white phosphorus munitions are US-made according to unnamed weapons experts, Amnesty International, and the Post itself. They appear to have been manufactured in 1989 and 1992. The Biden administration claims not to have included white phosphorus in arms transfers to Israel since 10/7.

The IDF claims these were used to create obscuring smoke and not to target civilians; they possess safer munitions that would do the same thing without contaminating bodies, soil, and buildings, but did not use those.

A part that deserves highlighting in full: "Israeli forces continued to shell the town with white phosphorus munitions for hours, residents said, trapping them in their homes until they could escape around 7 a.m. the next morning. Residents now refer to the attack as the 'black night.' Most fled the town when the shelling stopped, returning during a week-long pause in fighting and leaving again when it resumed. Uday Abu Sari, a 29-year-old farmer, said in an interview that he was trapped in his home for five hours during the shelling and was unable to breathe because of the smoke. He suffered respiratory problems for days after the attack. 'Emergency services told us to put something that was soaked in water on our faces, which helped a bit. I couldn’t see my finger in front of my face,' he said. 'The whole village became white.'"

"White phosphorus fell onto several homes and ignited fires, incinerating furniture and stripping appliances to scorched metal. Remnants of the sticky, black chemical littered the ground 40 days after the attack and combusted when residents kicked at it."

US officials, as usual, expressed "concern" and an intention to "learn more," which of course means nothing.

As a reminder, this is not a unique attack on Lebanese soil since the slaughter started. "Israel has used the munition more than 60 times in Lebanon’s border areas in the past two months, according to data collected by ACLED, a group that monitors war zones. Lebanese Prime Minister Najib Mikati said on Dec. 2 that Israel’s use of the munition has 'killed civilians and produced irreversible damage to more than 5 million square meters of forests and farmland, in addition to damaging thousands of olive trees.'"

By William Christou, Alex Horton and Meg Kelly

Updated December 11, 2023 at 3:48 p.m. EST | Published December 11, 2023 at 6:00 a.m. EST

DHEIRA, Lebanon — Israel used U.S.-supplied white phosphorus munitions in an October attack in southern Lebanon that injured at least nine civilians in what a rights group says should be investigated as a war crime, according to a Washington Post analysis of shell fragments found in a small village.

A journalist working for The Post found remnants of three 155-millimeter artillery rounds fired into Dheira, near the border of Israel, which incinerated at least four homes, residents said. The rounds, which eject felt wedges saturated with white phosphorous that burns at high temperatures, produce billowing smoke to obscure troop movements as it falls haphazardly over a wide area. Its contents can stick to skin, causing potentially fatal burns and respiratory damage, and its use near civilian areas could be prohibited under international humanitarian law.

Of the nine injured in Israel’s attack on Dheira, at least three were hospitalized, one for days.

Lot production codes found on the shells match the nomenclature used by the U.S. military to categorize domestically produced munitions, which show they were made by ammunition depots in Louisiana and Arkansas in 1989 and 1992. The light green color and other markings — like “WP” printed on one of the remnants — are consistent with white phosphorous rounds, according to arms experts.

The M825 smoke rounds, fired from 155mm howitzers, have legitimate use on the battlefield, including signaling friendly troops, marking targets and producing white smoke that conceals soldiers from the eyes of enemy forces. The rounds are not intended for use as incendiary weapons.

The weapons are part of billions of dollars in U.S. military arms that flow to Israel every year, which has fueled Israel’s war on Hamas in the Gaza Strip, launched after the militants attacked on Oct. 7. At least 17,700 people, many of them civilians, have been killed since the Israeli operation began, according to the Gaza Health Ministry.

Following publication of this story, National Security Council spokesman John Kirby said Monday the administration is “concerned” about the use of white phosphorous munitions and that they would be “asking questions to try to learn a bit more.”

Tensions along Lebanon’s southern border between Israeli forces and Hezbollah, the Iranian-backed militia, have boiled over from a simmer to near-daily exchanges of fire in the weeks since Oct. 7.

Dheira, a town of 2,000, has become a focal point for fighting. Just across the border from an Israeli radar tower, it has been used as a staging ground for Hezbollah’s attacks against Israel. At least 94 people have been killed on the Lebanese side of the border since tensions escalated, according to data released on Dec. 5 by the Health Ministry — 82 have been militants, according to Hezbollah. In addition, at least 11 Israelis have been killed, most of them soldiers.

Photos and videos verified by Amnesty International and reviewed by The Post show the characteristic ribbons of white phosphorus smoke falling over Dheira on Oct. 16.

Israeli forces continued to shell the town with white phosphorus munitions for hours, residents said, trapping them in their homes until they could escape around 7 a.m. the next morning. Residents now refer to the attack as the “black night.”

Most fled the town when the shelling stopped, returning during a week-long pause in fighting and leaving again when it resumed.

Uday Abu Sari, a 29-year-old farmer, said in an interview that he was trapped in his home for five hours during the shelling and was unable to breathe because of the smoke. He suffered respiratory problems for days after the attack.

“Emergency services told us to put something that was soaked in water on our faces, which helped a bit. I couldn’t see my finger in front of my face,” he said. “The whole village became white.”

White phosphorus ignites when in contact with oxygen and burns at temperatures up to 1,500 degrees, which can cause severe injuries. The chemicals left in the body can damage to internal organs, sometimes fatally, according to a Human Rights Watch report.

It is unclear why the Israeli military fired the rounds into the evening, as smoke would have little practical use at night and there were no Israeli troops on the Lebanese side of the border to mask with smokescreens. Residents speculated that the phosphorus was meant to displace them from the village and to clear the way for future Israeli military activity in the area.

In a statement, the Israel Defense Forces wrote that white phosphorous shells launched by Israel are used to create smokescreens, not for targeting or causing fires. It said its use of the weapon “complies and goes beyond the requirements of international law.”

Israeli forces possess safer alternatives, such as M150 artillery rounds, which produce screening smoke without the use of white phosphorous.

The U.S. origin of the shells was verified by Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International. The same manufacturing codes also appear on white phosphorus shells lined up next to Israeli artillery by the city of Sderot, near the Gaza Strip, in an Oct. 9 photo.

The United States is under an obligation to track the behavior of its partners and allies who receive its assistance in order to comply with U.S. law, humanitarian law experts said. The use of white phosphorus smoke is permitted if used for legitimate military operations, but like other weapons, its misuse can violate laws of armed conflict. Rights groups have warned its use should be restricted around civilians because fire and smoke can be spread to populated areas.

“The fact that U.S.-produced white phosphorus is being used by Israel in south Lebanon should be of great concern to U.S. officials,” Tirana Hassan, the executive director of Human Rights Watch, wrote in an email. “[Congress] should take reports of Israel’s use of white phosphorus seriously enough to reassess U.S. military aid to Israel.”

The United States is not conducting real-time assessments of Israel’s adherence to the laws of war, Biden administration officials said.

“Anytime that we provide items like white phosphorous to another military, it is with a full expectation that it’ll be used in keeping with...legitimate purposes and in keeping with the law of armed conflict,” Kirby said.

It is unclear when the United States delivered the munitions to Israel. The U.S. has not provided white phosphorous munitions to Israel since the Oct. 7 Hamas attack, Pentagon spokesman Maj. Gen. Pat Ryder told reporters Monday.

“When it comes to our relationship with Israel, we’ll continue to communicate to them the importance of mitigating civilian harm,” Ryder said, adding that the department could not yet verify the weapons were from U.S. stocks.

White phosphorus fell onto several homes and ignited fires, incinerating furniture and stripping appliances to scorched metal. Remnants of the sticky, black chemical littered the ground 40 days after the attack and combusted when residents kicked at it.

In 2009, Human Rights Watch documented Israel’s use of U.S.-made white phosphorus munitions in violation of international law in its 22-day offensive in Gaza. At least one of the shells found by The Post in Dheira was from the same batch of white phosphorus used by Israel in 2009, according to lot production codes.

In 2013, the Israeli military pledged to stop using white phosphorus on the battlefield, saying it would transition to gas-based smoke shells.

Israel has used the munition more than 60 times in Lebanon’s border areas in the past two months, according to data collected by ACLED, a group that monitors war zones. Lebanese Prime Minister Najib Mikati said on Dec. 2 that Israel’s use of the munition has “killed civilians and produced irreversible damage to more than 5 million square meters of forests and farmland, in addition to damaging thousands of olive trees.”

Tyler Pager aboard Air Force One, Missy Ryan in Washington and Mohamad El Chamaa in Beirut contributed to this report.

#israel #lebanon #white phosphorus #contamination

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dailyunsolvedmysteries · 15 days

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The Strange Disappearance of Kenny Veach

The Mojave Desert, located in the southwestern United States, is a brutal and unforgiving landscape.

Sprawling over parts of four states; California, Nevada, Arizona and Utah, the area is so vast that entire European countries like Ireland and Iceland could fit comfortably within its boundaries.

The “high desert” is prone to extreme temperatures and arid conditions. In November of 2014, an American hiker named Kenny Veach had a strange encounter with a mysterious cave in the Sheep Mountain area, just north of Las Vegas.

Once, he posted: “I hike over mountain top after mountain top and sleep on peaks under the stars . . . Sometimes I have to scale giant cliffs to get myself out of a jam, but I always make it back.”

He was proud of the fact that there was only one time that he had to be rescued on one of his adventures, and that was when he injured his leg at the top of a mountain.

Tired of the daily Monday-through-Friday grind, Kenny wanted to be his own boss, be in charge of his own life, and have the free time to immerse himself in his desert explorations.

So, he quit his day job and decided to be an inventor. He started a YouTube channel, documenting his creations and his forays into the desert.

It was in June of 2014, using the name Snakebitmcgee, Kenny left a comment in response to a YouTube video that read: That ain’t nothing. I am a long-distance hiker. One time, during one of my hikes out by Nellis Air Force Base, I found a hidden cave.

The entrance to the cave was shaped like a perfect capital M. I always enter every cave I find, but as I began to enter this particular cave, my whole body began to vibrate.

The closer I got to the cave entrance, the worse the vibrating became. Suddenly, I became very scared and high-tailed it out of there. That was one of the strangest things that ever happened to me.

Unbeknownst to Kenny and the rest of the world, that comment would have tragic consequences.

Kenny’s comment on that video sparked a flurry of requests for him to prove his claim.

Since he hadn’t documented the first trip to what would become known as “the M cave”, he needed to go back to the area to locate it and, this time, document what he found.

On his second search for the cave, he went armed with a 9-millimeter handgun and a video camera.

He documented some wildlife and found a whole horde of pine nuts that he gleefully ate on camera. He stood next to an abandoned mine shaft and rather sheepishly declared that he was unable to find the cave on his second hike.

Much to Kenny’s dismay, that video was met with criticism. Many thought he had made the whole thing up, and the public demanded proof of his claim of a mysterious cave with supernatural properties.

Viewers actively encouraged, and some even dared Kenny to go back out to the mountain range a third time.

However, one comment on his video, which has since been deleted, read, “No! Do not go back there. If you find that cave entrance, don’t go in, you won’t get out.”

Whether that comment was made by somebody teasing Kenny or whether it was a serious warning by somebody who was personally familiar with the cave is unknown.

Regarding the M cave, Kenny said, “I solo hike across mountain tops that most people wouldn’t dare go. I have been in more caves than I can count. I play with rattlesnakes for fun. But this one particular cave was beyond anything I had ever encountered.”

Hoping to put the naysayers in their place, Kenny hiked out to the territory a third time.

On the 10th of November 2014, Kenny once again made his way to the Sheep Mountain area, which is close to the U.S. Air Force installation called Area 51, known for its speculated connection to UFOs and secret government experiments.

It’s located near Groom Lake and is within the Nevada Test and Training Range. As late as 2012, the U.S. government denied the existence of Area 51, and it is still closed to the public.

Both ground and aerial searches were conducted, but no sign of Kenny could be found.

Dave Cummings from Red Rock Search & Rescue reported finding Kenny’s cell phone next to an abandoned vertical mine shaft, where he filmed part of the M cave video.

Specially trained individuals were called in to conduct a search of the mine. Unfortunately, aside from his vehicle and his cell phone, no trace of Kenny was ever found.

#Kenny Veach #unsolved #unsolved mysteries #crime #true crime

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doiesfav · 8 months

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+·ºEveryday Work PT. 2 - Haechan ||

THIS IS THE SECOND PART OF EVERYDAY WORK

For better reading experience -> PT. 1

A/n: this is just extra stuff but still thanks for the support and would appreciate reblog or follow!

MASTERLIST

banners and dividers are self made

''Fuck'' You in fact hated getting edged, your face was facing his with a serious or even confused stare, ''What, don't like it?'' he then smirked and chuckled a bit while you were processing what just happened. It indeed felt good although for a discussable amount of time. ''You are so pretty fuck it'' It made you shy and the next move was his lips touching yours, they were possessive and it made your entire body hot as if you had a fever. Your spot was already sensitive and without thinking twice you taped his shoulders to make him continue whatever he was going to do.

''I don't understand, use your words pretty'' You just wanted to shout it but it wouldn't come out of your mouth. ''Pl-please I- I'' and swallowed those words, ''Tell me baby, I'm not gonna eat you'' You inhaled for the last time ''Di-dick please'' You moaned as much as you wanted but didn't talk as much as you needed. ''Where darling, your mouth? pussy? ass? Say it without fear'' You bit your lower lip ''pussy'' and looked down not knowing where to look at. ''See, easy right? Well if that's what my good girl wants I shall give it''.

Then the sound of him unbuckling his belt got you more turned on than you were, and in just less than a minute he was completely naked on his lower part, if you had a meter it would probably measure 6 or 7 inches, you didn't really imagine what his dick would be like but it surely satisfied your imagination. You kept looking at it and it was obvious, ''What happened baby, you sure you can take it?'' Then he used his fingers to set aside a loose strand of hair of yours and nodded your head, “use words pretty” before saying yes you pressed your lips together “yes”.

You were getting comfortable by sitting on your knees facing him and pushed up your legs so your pussy would meet his dick, it started with just the tip which was already big for you since it was rather thick. Moans were coming out of your mouth uncontrollably and it wasn’t still half inside, your head resting on Donghyuck’s shoulder while his hands were grabbing your ass to help you take it easy. With a little more effort but painful pleasure, it was all inside you, Your nails were gripping his clothed shoulders, and moaned even if he moved one millimeter.

“If it hurts tell me, okay?” He really made sure you were fine, “okay”. Finally, you slowly thrust up and down which created some sloppy sounds of skins slapping each other. The way Donghyuck groaned got you more excited which he noticed, his next move was to move one of his hands that were gripping your ass check to start drawing circles with his fingers on your clit. That made your entire body boil as he was giving you so much pleasure that you couldn't handle, ''I'm close Hyuck'' Hyuck? Those words slipped out of your mouth but with the expression he made he liked it. ''Where do you want it princess?'' Your mind wasn't in the best state to answer him, you were probably so close to Cloud 9 but then remembered you two didn't use any anticonception. ''n-not inside me'' Then his fingers doubled the speed on your sensitive clitoris and he made you cum or in other words imagining the stars. Donghyuck quickly after you rode him he pulled out and spilled all his seeds on your stomach. “Thanks” you said exhaustingly, “no problem, thanks for your hard work too” and then lips were meeting again pressing each others passionately.

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namorslutfanfiction · 1 year

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#9 with Rafa and #16 with namor please ❤️

here's 9 with Rafa

You glanced at the dark skinned man draped in silk and jewels that had been eyeing you from across the club every week for months. He never came up to your bar, instead sending his friends to buy drink and always leaving a generous tip. You knew he was trying to make you come to him first. The way the other women in the club threw themselves at his group of bad boys in their booth, smoking and drinking and snorting. But you had resisted, although something about him called to you. His dark caramel skin had appeared in your dreams and you'd imagined those curls threading through your fingers a few times.

You realized he had actually not been at the club the last few weeks, even when his friends were. You let your eyes linger on him a bit longer, taking in the healing bruise around his right eye and what looked like a burn on his neck. When your eyes travelled back up to his face his dark gaze met your own. You looked away immediately, chastising yourself for getting caught.

You turned to a club goer who waved you over to take their order. Once you were done with them you were surprised to find the dark man leaning against the bar, smirk on his face, eyeing you with a hungry look on his face. You gave him a tight smile, "Does your table need more tequila?"

He shook his head and laughed, "Ay bonita, I came over because you seemed to need something."

You hated to admit that his smile was drawing you in. You raised your eyebrow at his comment, "Oh no, I was just admiring your hair, that's all."

You played up the nonsense comment the way you were trained to and then shrugged your shoulders, hoping he would walk away. But the man laughed again then leaned in, "When are you off?"

His cologne wafted towards you from his closer proximity. Mixed in with the earthy smell of weed was something sweet and cloying that left you feeling warm. You felt heat rush to your cheeks, a sudden shyness coming over you. You couldn't meet his eyes and focused on the watch on your wrist, "Actually in an hour."

You probably shouldn't have answered that but it was too late now. The man smiled and introduced himself, "Call me Rafa, hermosa, am I making you feel shy?"

You bit your lip and hesitated before replying, feigning confidence, "I don't feel anything. You don't make me feel anything."

From the left your coworker spoke, "Hey, just clock out now, I got it. It's slow tonight anyway."

Your coworker smiled and then went off to help another patron leaving you with the smirking narco. You met his gaze and saw how he looked you up and down as you untied your apron. You gave him a tight smile, ignoring the heat in your belly, "It was nice meeting you Rafa."

You headed to the back to grab your things but when you returned Rafa was waiting for you in the short hallway. The noise of the club was slightly muffled as you took in the handsome man in front of you. He was so much taller and bigger now that there wasn't a bar between you. The gold necklace on his neck had a sharp talon at the end of it.

"Like what you see? I can already see that you're feeling me. Don't fight it," Rafa said in a low voice as he stepped toward you.

You looked up at him, "I told you I don't feel anything,"

The chuckle he emitted was deep and sensual as he backed you into the wall, his face millimeters from your own. Your quickening breaths were giving you away, as well as the fact that you weren't running. That sweet smell of his was it's own drug to you and you were taking it all in.

Rafa's eyes met your heavily lidded ones, "Give me a chance. to prove to you what I can make you feel."

You gasped slightly as he pressed up against you so that you were chest to chest. You couldn't help but stare at his lips that were so close, all you would have to do is lean in. His lips curled into a smile. You felt his arms come up to rest his forearms against the wall, caging you in.

"Rafa," You breathed out as you leaned in.

The man in questioned tilted away from your lips making you mewl in surprise as the distance between you increased minutely. "Good girl, you feel something now don't you?"

You didn't stop the moan that erupted when he ground his hips against yours, making it very obvious that he was aroused, just like you. You met his gaze again while his hand came down to cup your cheek. His thumb brushed over your lower lip as he spoke, "Do you want to feel more?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And 16 With Namor (this was popular)

Somehow, someway you had been able to finally track down those mysterious people you would see in the deep ocean. You had hoped to find more mutants like you and instead found a whole hidden country. While they were different you were happy to find some type of kindred with the fellow sea dwellers.

What you didn't expect was the extreme reaction to you swimming through their city and being dragged quite roughly to the feet of their king.

"While I appreciate the caution, she is a woman, let her stand. I've taught you better than that," The regal king said as he ordered the men holding you captive to allow you to stand.

You eyed the king who looked different from his people. Your curiosity was piqued by his wings. But you felt your breath catch with the water as he removed his head dress and revealed a very handsome and amused face. There was however something sinister behind his eyes. As he stepped down from his intimidating throne you felt you stomach drop.

"You may all leave. I can deal with our little invader," His voice was tinged with amusement. The room emptied out and you were standing before the king as he circled you. "Well, little one, what do you have to say for yourself?"

He was standing behind you, his skin was warm despite the coldness of the water around you. Your muscles were tense, ready to swim away at the slightest opening. You replied, keeping your voice even, "I was just looking for mutants like me. That's all. If I knew you were all so xenophobic I would have stayed away."

The chuckle he let out from behind you sent a shiver down your spine. He moved to stand in front of you, still in your personal space. The King gently ran a finger up your bare arm, around the curve of your shoulder, and to your neck. You flinched as he glided his hand up to wrap firmly around your jugular.

The tension was as tight as a bow string as he looked down on your face. He still had an infuriatingly amused look on his visage, all while you were worried about dying.

"You're quite a pretty woman, aren't you? I can sense your fear. But you don't need to fear me. I won't hurt you," He leaned in close to your cheek, then whispered in your ear, "not unless you want me to."

You tried to jerk away but his hold on your neck tightened. You had slowly been inching your left hand towards your thigh, trying to reach the handle of the knife you had strapped there. Once you had a firm grip on the shaft of it you swung it forward. But the King caught your wrist with ease. His crushing hold made you drop your dagger as he laughed in amusement.

The King pulled you closer, holding your wrist to his sculpted chest. He felt so hot, a contrast to the cold jewelry that was pinching into your hand. The devious look in his eyes was even more pronounced. He was playing with you and you had no idea what that meant.

The King spoke again, sneering, "Maybe it's just me, but the tension between us means we're either going to kiss or have a fight to the death. Personally, I'd prefer the kiss but the choice is yours."

His laugh was cold as you stared up at him in horror. Suddenly he pushed you away and took a few steps back. "Pick up your blade, invader. If you can cut me, I'll let you live. If you can't, then I'll do whatever I want to you. Maybe a kiss. Maybe something a little more, involved."

The suggestive look on his face and the way he sized you up kick started your fight or flight instinct. You scrambled to get to your feet with the dagger pointed out in self defense. Staring at the golden form of the King of this underwater nation as his muscles rippled and a sadistic expression played across his features.

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#ask #ask game #tenoch huerta #tenoch huerta mejia #rafa caro quintero #namor of talokan #namor #rafa x reader #namor x reader #rafa caro quintero x reader

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pisupsala · 9 months

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Of All The Stars in The Sky | 12 | Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw

Summary | War looks different from high above in the sky. But when Bradley finds himself on the ground, far behind enemy lines, it becomes a race against the clock to get out. And try not to look back at what he’s leaving behind.

Pairing | Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x fem!reader / Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x fem!oc (no use of y/n)

Warnings |Mature content | 18+ only[WWII AU] swearing, war, violence, death, explicit smut

Words | 9.6k

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Chapter 12 - I Fall in Love Too Easily

“Do it, you coward.” You challenge him instead, that mischievous smirk suddenly on your face again—it is fast becoming his favorite thing about you. Fearless, stubborn, and oh so sweet when you want to be. You keep surprising him on every front, encircling him, until he cannot think about anything but you. He’s dreamt of this moment—that you would come to him. Finally, admit that you really felt something for him. That you wanted him. That he wouldn’t feel so goddamn alone anymore.

And now you’re challenging him. Because of course you are.

Dropping the matches at his feet, he reaches for you, cupping your face gently and closing the distance between you. Your breath is coming out in rapid bursts, your face suddenly flushed—you almost don’t believe he’d actually go through with it.

He lightly brushes his lips against yours, like he is testing the waters—giving you a chance to retreat. You parried his advances—overt or subtle—so many times like a doe shooting away through the forest.

Your breaths mingle as his mouth hovers only millimeters away from yours. It’s so familiar. The flames you had been desperately trying to extinguish are roaring higher than ever before. You’ve been close to Rooster before, felt his skin under your hands, his hot breath on your face—but never like this. Never this real.

You can’t wait anymore. Pushing yourself up on your tiptoes, steadying yourself with your hands on his broad shoulders, your lips meet his.

Your lips are as soft as Bradley imagined—for all your boldness, your kiss is almost shy, lips gently brushing against his. But you are finally here. He lets you lead, not wanting to break the spell or spook you, trying to have the moment last.

If you ever thought just getting a taste of Rooster would be enough to quench your want for him, you feel almost cursed by the knowledge that this isn’t enough. It will never be. You want him whole.

With the slightest sigh, you open your mouth, Bradley grabbing the chance immediately to deepen the kiss. His hands slide down your neck to the collar of your coat, causing you to shiver under his touch. A smile tugs at his lips. He cannot deny how much he enjoys every small reaction he draws out of you, like with every sigh and every moan; he learns how to read you a little bit better.

You press yourself into him, hand snaking up the back of Bradley’s neck, raking your fingers through his hair. It’s silky and soft. Your fingers instinctively tighten around his curls, like you’re looking to anchor yourself against him. He groans into the kiss. The vibrations of his sounds are quaking down to your core.

Your kiss turns hungry, greedy almost, and Bradley welcomes it, pulling you impossibly closer to him. He noticed long ago how nicely your body fit against his, even though it was only in fleeting moments, through accidental touches. Now that you’ve launched yourself into his arms with purpose, your want is apparent; everything has fallen into place—even just for this moment. It feels right like this is precisely where you are both supposed to be together.

Bradley tries to hold back, but you are so goddamn beguiling, balancing on your tiptoes, softly moaning into the kiss—he cannot help but match your fervor.

Your breath hitches as he pushes your coat down your shoulders. As the sleeves slide down your arms, your fingers untangle from his hair, almost automatically falling by your side You break the kiss as you land back flat on your feet. Looking up, you study Rooster for a moment—he looks flushed, but he moves with purpose. The soft thud of the heavy wool of your coat hitting the ground is the only sound in the room besides your heaving breathing. You gasp loudly as Rooster pulls you back into him and latches his lips on the column of your neck.

The soft skin of your neck has been beckoning to him, teasing him in glimpses for so long now. He smells the soap on your skin—it’s so deceptively simple but completely intoxicating. It’s like you are melting in his hands, stretching your neck, exposing more of your skin to him.

Your fingertips lightly dance over the quickly forming scars on Bradley’s face and neck—the wounds you treated for him, a constant reminder of how he got here, why you are here.

He sighs as he finds the pulse point on your throat, dragging his teeth across it—his mustache tickles against the sensitive skin, sending shivers of pleasure down your spine. You can’t stop the moan that tears from your mouth. Bradley’s hands tighten on your waist, bunching up the fabric of your sweater under his fingers.

Your lips find him again. You don’t even care if it’s evident how desperate you are for him; you just want more. It gives you no small amount of satisfaction that Rooster doesn’t seem to be able to hold back either, his hands roaming over your sides frantically, pushing your sweater up, fingers tantalizingly dancing over your rib cage.

“Tell me to stop.” He mumbles, voice raspy and breathing heavily against the shell of your ear. “Anya, tell me, and I’ll stop.”

“N- no.” You stutter desperately, voice high. “Please, Rooster, no.”

His mouth returns to yours feverishly as he guides you backward, your feet tripping over your coat on the floor. Bradley catches you easily, pulling you up against him, a strong arm wrapped around your waist. Your toes are barely reaching the floor anymore as you fist his cotton shirt on his back, pulling it out of the waistband of his slacks.

Your back hits the cool wall as he sets you back on two feet. His forearm is resting flat against the wall next to your head. You grapple at him, pulling his face to yours, kissing him fiercely, desperate not to break the spell between you.

You’ve spent so long filing off every edge and hook of yourself, fitting yourself into an unassuming role, slotting neatly between everyone else, you almost forgot that that’s not who you were before. It feels like Rooster’s hungry kiss is peeling back the layers of you, exposing every imperfection, every sloppy stitch, and every rough edge that is part of you.

The realization that this is the first time in maybe years you have genuinely felt like yourself, like the person you were supposed to be instead of what you were made to be, stokes the fire in you even more. You want to remember this moment, in all its chaos and passion, and you want to remember him because he’s making you remember you.

You press yourself into his muscular chest, hooking your leg around his thigh. Bradley’s hand travels down your side to the curve of your ass, dragging you up while kneading the flesh through the layers of fabric. Wedged between Bradley and the wall, you decisively pull his shirt up, your nails grazing over the exposed skin of his stomach. His muscles twitch under your touch. Bradley groans into your kiss, grinding his lower body into you as he shrugs off the garment.

He feels so hot against you, like a fever taking hold of you. He’s making quick work of your sweater, pulling it over your head in one fluid motion, his lips following close behind, anointing the newly exposed skin of your collarbone with kisses.

Your mouth travels over Bradley’s neck, lightly licking the newly forming long scar over his throat. He hisses at the contact, your heart skipping a beat at every reaction you elicit from him. Bradley nips your shoulder, fingers hooked under the straps of your slip dress and brassiere and pulling them down.

Bradley grinds into you again; you feel how hard he is against your pelvis. You gasp in ecstasy, your fingers clumsily traveling down his torso to the fly of his slacks. The soft trail of hair on his stomach tickles against your wrist. He is pushing your skirt up now, his calloused fingers palming the delicate skin of your thighs.

He isn’t sure how it’s gotten from you playfully taunting him to him pinning you against the wall, feverishly pulling at each other's clothes. It sure wasn’t what he was expecting, your propensity to sidestep him at every turn when things got a little too real, but he’s far from complaining. Every little dream, every dirty thought he tried to bury somewhere deep inside him, guilty he cast you in that light in the first place, is now suddenly turning into a reality.

You taste sweeter than he could have ever conjured up in his mind, and the fact that you came to him on your terms, reeling him in with that teasing twinkle in your eye, makes it all the sweeter to Bradley.

Progressively, your movements turn hesitant and light, Bradley notices. Like you’re unsure how to proceed—as if the haze is melting off you. He forces himself to slow down, heart almost beating out of his chest, matching your pace, before he pulls back to look at you. You meet his eyes with a dazed look, eyes lidded and swollen lips. He’s breathing as heavily as you are, the swell of your breasts blooming over the top of your simple cotton slip with every movement. You’ve never looked more beautiful to him as you reach out back to him, gripping his hair and pulling his face back to yours.

Your kiss is shy. Bradley lets you take the lead—maybe reality is setting in for you, the ebbing rush of adrenaline suddenly leaving you cold. He waits for you to break the kiss and turn away, but selfishly, desperately, he hopes you don’t. But then you grind against him, a small moan falling from your lips as you arch your back, the top of your breasts brushing against the bare skin of his chest. He curses, painfully grasping your hip.

You still, your arm wrapped around his neck. You open your mouth like you’re about to say something,but uncharacteristically hesitate again, fixing your eyes on his shoulder instead, where your fingers trace a delicate pattern.

Shit.

“Have you -” Bradley starts, willing himself back into equilibrium, trying to calm the blood rushing in his ears. “Have you ever been with a man before?” He asks gently, his voice husky from need. Bradley cannot imagine you didn’t have everyone wrapped around your little finger with that beautiful smile. His heart is pounding in anticipation so loudly now; he’s sure you can feel it, as close as you are still to him, your arms still tangled around his neck, his large warm hand still under your skirt, holding you up between his hard body and the cool wall.

You lick your lips nervously, eyes fluttering across the room but avoiding him. The tiny crease between your eyebrows is there again. It would be adorable if Bradley weren’t burning for your answer.

“Yes.” You swallow. “Once.” It comes out in almost a whisper. You burn in embarrassment. Fuck. Rooster had his choice of girls, and a dark part of you is suddenly intimidated that you will not measure up to his experience. One somewhat drunk, certainly regretful roll in the hay is your best offer.

You hate to feel exactly what he called you: a jumped-up little schoolgirl —hopelessly, only playing at it.

“Was he good to you?” Bradley asks, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth in a moment of selfishness, wanting to pull you back into him. The question catches you off guard as you look at him in confusion. However, he doesn’t elaborate or cease his efforts to keep your head spinning—his large warm hand massages your thigh, fingers creeping a little higher with each motion. You sigh deeply before closing your eyes.

“No.”

“I’ll be good to you, sweetheart.” He promises, trailing kisses up your jawline, hot breath caressing the shell of your ear. “So good.”

You are convinced that at this point, Rooster could tell you the sky was purple and the grass blue and you would believe every word. You want to believe him more than anything. Every off-hand comment, teasing joke, all those lingering touches; in your heart, you always wanted it to be true.

“I trust you.” You breathe.

The hunger and desperation of Rooster’s movements become a simmering heat as he methodically moves his hot mouth over your skin, leaving a fire trail in his wake. Your nails rake over his broad shoulders. Tortuously slowly, his mouth moves over your now-exposed collarbone. You are breathing hard,like your throat is parched with an intense thirst only Rooster’s lips can alleviate.

But he won’t give in to you. Bradley is savoring the moment, committing every little noise you make, the softness of your skin, the heat of your body to memory. It’s been so long since he’s been close to someone—Bradley can barely remember, only in vague shadows and flashes, the last time he fell into someone's arms like this. It must have been before he left for that last cursed sortie; it all feels so far away, like everything that happened in England, let alone back home in the United States, happened to someone else in a different lifetime.

All he can think about now is how he feels completely touch-starved God, he wants to be good for you, but right now, he needs this. He needs you in every way he can have you; take as much as you are willing to give him, from every smile you grace him to your sharp spitfire tongue, but most of all, the comfort of your body.

He needs to feel a measure of control. You whine in frustration as Rooster keeps denying you his kiss, his mouth only inches away from yours as he bumps his nose tenderly, teasingly against yours. It’s hard to miss the grin on his face as he watches you struggle.

Of course he’s enjoying this.

The bands of your slip hang off your shoulders, the fabric slipping over your heaving chest alluringly. With nimble fingers, Rooster pops the button at your skirt's waistband and effortlessly pulls down the zipper. Taking a step back, his fingers sliding down the length of your leg, fingertips playfully skimming past the back of your knee, he sets you back down. You’re not proud of the whiney sounds escaping your lips as the cold air suddenly hits you.

Rooster just grins at you. That devastatingly handsome grin; it fills you with want. To slap him or to kiss him—either would work right now. His hands are skimming down your sides, quickly tugging your skirt down your hips—the rust-colored fabric pools at your feet. Stepping out of the skirt, you kick off your shoes and socks, shivering again as your bare feet touch the floor.

You look so cute—wild strands of hair that have escaped from your braid frame your face, your lips swollen from the kiss, the small marks on your skin from his teeth, pupil blown. In that simple white cotton slip, so deceptively simple, so deceptively innocent -

“If you back out now, Rooster…” Your words are forced, the barely concealed anger seeping through. Your hands are balled into fists. “Then I’ll…”

Taking a deep breath, nostrils flaring, you look at Rooster, eyes blazing. He is perfectly unbothered by your unfinished threat, still grinning at you. You don’t get another second to consider how you would finish the sentence when Rooster’s fingers graze over your cheek so tenderly before sliding up the nape of your neck into your hair at lightning speed.

There is nothing gentle about how his fist closes at the roots near your scalp, pulling your hair tightly. He tilts your head back, exposing the length of your neck. He ghosts his lips over the taut skin, not quite touching you, but you feel his mustache brushing against you—your skin erupts in goosebumps. You hiss, not in pain, but in anticipation.

“You’ll what, Anya?” Rooster practically purrs. You are firmly wedged between him and the wall again, suddenly keenly aware you are only in your underwear.

“Ah- I��ll -” You screw your eyes shut. Something clever, hell, even something dumb, would be great now, but the words won’t come. It’s like you’ve lost the ability to form sentences. Head tilted up, you can’t see Rooster’s face, but you can practically feel that smug grin on his face. Swallowing hard, you struggle to finish your threat.

“I- I swear I’ll… - shit, Rooster!” You cry out as he nips you just below your ear, jerking your head involuntarily in reaction to the overstimulation. Rooster’s grip immediately eases, allowing you some movement back, but he keeps his hand buried in your hair, fingertips pressed against your scalp.

He watches as your eyes flutter shut as he slowly tightens his grip again. Arching into him, your hands rest on his chest, a slight tremor shaking your fingers. Oh, so this is working for you. It’s a secret Bradley gets to uncover about you. One Bradley doesn’t want you to share with anyone else. A part of him hopes no one else will ever hear your soft breathy moans; he wants to be the only one you cling to so desperately with that longing look in your eyes.

Bradley doesn’t consider himself a particularly selfish person. Or possessive, for that matter—he is keenly aware most things in life are just passing. Temporary. And the one time, it should be more evident than ever that there is absolutely no chance of this going anywhere beyond what it is—just in this moment —he cannot help it. He wants more, and he wants all of you to himself.

Somewhere from deep in his gut, words start bubbling up—but Bradley thinks better of it, kissing you rather than saying anything, releasing your hair, and pulling both legs around his waist. You hook your ankles around his back, anchoring yourself against him.

Bradley moves back, pulling you away from the wall. You gasp in surprise, suddenly self-conscious that Rooster is holding you up, although he does not indicate any struggle. You try to steady yourself by grabbing onto his shoulders—Rooster’s muscles are tensed, and suddenly you feel the definition of every plane and edge. He is not only good-looking, he feels goddamn good. Strong. It’s making you weak at the knees—something you haven’t felt in a long time.

A giggle escapes you as you land lightly on the narrow single bed, back first. Rooster is hovering over you, looking at you in wonder. Whenever he thinks you can’t look prettier or more attractive, you’re happy you prove him wrong. Your slip dress has ridden up your thighs, bunched up at your hips as your legs are still around his waist. Hair mussed, lips kissed swollen—you look ravished. And he’s not anywhere done with you yet.

Leaning on your elbows, you look back up at him. So many times you had wished Rooster would look at you with longing—lust even —not to tease you, but genuinely. You hated yourself for it because you were sure that would never happen. But now Rooster is looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world.

He leans back, gently unhooking your legs from his waist. You sit up a bit straighter, planting your palms on the mattress, following his movements sharply. Your stomach clenches as he pulls back from you. Rooster is not looking at you as he maneuvers your legs, placing your feet on the mattress.

“Rooster…” You trail off, frowning slightly as he finally looks at you, his face suddenly uncharacteristically serious, but he doesn’t reply.

“Wha-” Not even able to finish the whole word, you yelp loudly as Rooster suddenly grabs your ankle and yanks your leg up, pulling your weight off your hands. You land flat on your back again, head just below the pillow, as Rooster casually drapes your leg over his shoulder.

You start laughing—from shock, nerves, the way his mustache tickles against your calve as he peppers it with kisses—everything feels so strange, and your emotions are so high-strung after today it’s coming out in weird ways. Rooster’s shoulders shake as he laughs with you before he looks at you again. You bite your lip, holding your breath in anticipation.

“I don’t think I like it anymore when you call me that, Anya,” He says earnestly between kisses—gone is the playfulness of just a few moments ago. His hand is running up and down your thigh, thumb gently brushing the hollow of your knee, tickling the sensitive skin.

You breathe to confirm. He doesn’t reply, gently nipping you right above the knee. Your hand comes up to cover your mouth.

“I think you should be calling me by my name,” He clarifies, meeting your gaze again. It never bothered Bradley what people called him—most people call him Rooster. But you are not most people, and he wants you closer. He is not just his call sign and the reason he got it; he doesn’t want that to be how you look at him. Not anymore. He just wants to be Bradley for you.

“Bradley.” It sounds almost like a question, the name unfamiliar on your tongue, a slight lilt weighing down the L. No one has ever said his name in such a delightful way before; he is sure of it. The dazed look on your face, your fingers resting lightly on your lips, your state of undress and laying on his bed, is the perfect way to finally hear you say his name.

He groans heavily, screwing his eyes shut. Bending forward, Bradley rests his head against your stomach, your leg still hooked over his shoulder—your slip has now bunched up above your hips, exposing your panties. His hand moves up under your slip dress, comfortably resting on the bare skin of your waist. He stays there for a moment, trying to get a grip.

Gingerly, you rake your fingers through his hair. Bradley hums in response, pushing your slip up further.

“Bradley, please,” You whisper, squirming, trying to move your hips. The fire in you is burning almost painfully, and you desperately want Bradley to fucking move.

He cannot stop the litany of curses as he hears you say his name so needily, roll your hips against him so wantonly, fingers tightening in his hair. Hearing him lose control and swear like that spurs you on more—seeing your effect on him is exhilarating.

“Anya - fuck,” He groans as he finally lifts his head, tightening his grip on your waist to keep you still. But you do not intend to make this easy for him, arching your back and tugging at his hair. “Sweetheart, wait one second.”

You stop deliciously contorting under him, only your heavy breathing moving your body now. The frustration passes over your features like a shadow, although you try to hide it. Bradley knows that the following words out of his mouth will probably not make you much happier.

“Sweetheart, you don’t happen to have condoms, do you?” There’s no way to make the question less awkward, but you are both taking enough risks. Leaving you as a lover is one thing; leaving you as an unwed mother is another.

“No,” You narrow your eyes at him momentarily as you lean on your elbows again so that you can look at Bradley. “Why don’t you?”

“I must have lost them when I crashed my plane.” He deadpans in response. You pout before you drop yourself back onto the bed. Hand covering your face, your shoulders start shaking. If Bradley didn’t know you better, he’d think it looks like you’re crying. But your laughter suddenly fills the room.

You cannot believe this. It’s absurd.

“This is so stupid!” You exclaim between bouts of laughter. Bradley can’t help but laugh as he sits up again—all the tension you've built up needs to go somewhere. And he likes to hear you laugh like that, without inhibitions.

“Is this really how this night ends?” You ask, peeking at him between your fingers, trying to hide your disappointment by filling your sudden emptiness with words.

“I wasn’t aware of the night ending, sweetheart.” Bradley purrs, his hands suddenly moving up your legs again. You look at him wide-eyed, reminding him that despite your nimble fingers and plenty of bravado, you’re quite inexperienced.

“I promised I’d be good to you, Anya,” Bradley soothes. “And I’m a man of my word.”

He pulls you up before grabbing the hem of your slip and tugging it up, stopping just under your breasts. “Will you let me show you how good I can be to you, sweetheart?”

You swallow heavily, averting your gaze. “But…” “I won’t do anything to compromise you, Anya,” His fingers wrap around your chin, gently guiding you to look at him. He seems earnest—there is no trace of him joking or teasing. “I promise, sweetheart.”

Inhaling deeply, trying to make sense of all the feelings rampaging through you, you look back into his warm brown eyes. You feel nervous because you are in largely uncharted territory here, making you feel vulnerable. Both physically and emotionally. One part of you wants to start laughing again, to somehow diffuse the tension you are feeling.

But looking into Bradley’s eyes as he patiently waits for your response, his fingers caressing your jaw—what are you really feeling?

Trust your gut.

“I trust you.” You echo, your hands coming up to gently cradle his face. His eyes close for a moment, leaning into your palm. You feel vulnerable, but when you examine it, it doesn’t feel heavy or scary. Nervous but not apprehensive. Not with Bradley.

Pulling Bradley’s face to yours, you don’t hesitate as you kiss him again. This whole night felt like you were hurtling downstream on a violent river—the tension and stress of sending the message, the desperation and burning need you felt for Bradley—it now finally feels like a calmness besets you because it feels right.

This kiss feels a lot more intimate, and it’s giving you butterflies. Bradley’s hands travel from your jaw to your collarbone before he breaks the kiss to tug your shift dress up further. He doesn’t need to say anything; you understand him instinctively as your arms come up automatically to allow him to pull the garment over your head.

His hands start roaming over the newly exposed skin of your stomach, back, and rib, while he presses kisses on your collarbone, before his thumb lightly brushes over your breast. The sensation feels dull through the layered fabric. You push your chest out, pressing your breast into Bradley’s hand. He gladly obliges, squeezing and tugging the band down further.

The anticipation in the air is electric as Bradley's touch sends shivers down your spine. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, your senses heightened, every nerve on edge. With a soft sigh, you let your hands wander over his shoulders and chest, caressing his skin—his muscles move and contract under your touch. You want to make him feel good too.

The soft click of your bra unclasping should have you hesitating. But you want to feel Bradley everywhere, that this goddamn thing is in the way right now. You boldly pull the bra off down your arms, pushing it away. In a flurry of movement, your panties follow suit.

Bradley was always gentle around you, never fighting as you pushed and pulled him with you—gladly following your lead. You know he was strong—the broad shoulders, the defined arms, and the chiseled chest make that hard to miss, and god knows you’ve sneaked enough peeks—but before today, he rarely demonstrated the functionality of his physique. The effortlessness with which he picked you up earlier and he now how lifts your hips, sliding your panties down, pulling them off your legs with one hand, is leaving you breathless.

It’s exciting to realize how you’re at his mercy right now and how much power he has been allowing you over him all this time. He trusted you all this time—the realization makes you feel warm. A fluttering comfort settles in your bones. Trusting him back was the right choice.

You are naked now—instinctively, you want to cover yourself up, bringing your arm over your chest as if that will make you feel less self-conscious.

“Don’t, sweetheart.” Bradley pulls your arm away, holding your hand down by your wrist as his mouth covers your nipple, his tongue flicking against the puckered bud. He uses his other hand to manipulate your other breast, teasing your nipple between his fingers. At moments, it’s painful, but it doesn’t hurt—it’s like every sensation heightening your pleasure.

Bradley is kissing and licking his way down your body, like he is determined to mark as much of your skin as his, to taste every little bit of you. Every moan and whimper you make for him is a reward for him, marking you as his own. He is so patient and precise in his endeavor you lose yourself in his touch. Only when his mouth lands on the inside of your thigh it suddenly breaks your reverie. You gasp, instinctively trying to move away. But his hand rests flat on your stomach as he gently shushes you.

“It’s okay,” He cajoles you. “You lay back, sweetheart, relax,”

Bradley’s head dips down again, kissing your hipbone, his hands running down your sides before he places his lips just above the slit of your pussy. You whimper softly in anticipation. “And tell me if it feels good,” Bradley murmurs against your skin, his hot breath brushing against your wet, sensitive core. You open your mouth, but no sounds come out as Bradley’s tongue slides up your slit. It’s as if your rational brain has completely disconnected from your base desires. Your hips buck up in Bradley’s face, because you want him to do that again. His hand tightens around your waist, steadying you.

His tongue moves against your clit slowly as he explores every fold of your pussy. You’re wet for him already; shit, it’s such a shame he doesn’t get to fuck you properly tonight. All the more reason to blow your mind with his mouth—especially since it seems he’s the first one to do so. Good. You deserve to get taken off properly, and he gets to enjoy your perfect pussy.

He takes his time licking and sucking, listening for your reactions, sounding off your enjoyment. You writhe under his ministrations, but no words come out. That won’t do for Bradley.

“Does it feel good, baby?” He purrs, looking up. “You taste so sweet.”

Your body is moving shakily, contorting, your breathing rapid.

“Tell me with words, Anya.” Bradley teases you as his hand travels up your stomach to your breast, pinching your nipple. You moan, but he wants to hear you say it—he wants to hear you say his name in ecstasy. A dark part of him wants you to sing him praises with that same sharp tongue you’ve cut at him before. But he wasn’t lying when he told you he is a man of his word—he will make this good for you.

“Y-yes,” You stutter out between shallow breaths. “Don’t stop.” You whine, rolling your hips, heavy with need.

He rewards you by sliding a digit into you—god, you’re so wet for him. Your back arches as he sets the pace, none too slow to not lose the momentum of getting you to your peak. Not another word makes it out of your mouth, everything distorted by your moans.

“Talk to me, sweetheart,” He encourages you, teasing his mouth close to your clit again. “I want to hear you.”

The first coherent thought that flashes through your mind is that if Bradley’s face weren’t buried between your thighs, you would probably kick him in the face. However, it all falls apart rather quickly as he slides another finger into you, the angle of his fingers putting pressure on the most sensitive nerves—but he keeps moving back, applying a little bit less pressure each time. You curse lowly, not being able to find the words.

“Please, please, please,” You beg, blinking hard. It feels like every fiber in your body is tense, wound up in knots, and you are desperate for release. Every moment his mouth is not on you is almost painful. You feel desperate, you don’t know what to do, what to say to make him move again, your bravado drowning in the lusty mist of your brain.

“I need you,” You finally whisper, like in a broken prayer. “Bradley, baby, I need you to-”

That’s all he wanted to hear. The rest of your sentence drowns in a moan as his tongue presses against your clit, moving quicker than before, hooking his fingers up. You exclaim loudly, as electricity seems to be coursing through you now. The words now come off their own accord, like an emergency part of your brain, has finally engaged with one single mission—don’t let him stop.

“You feel so good,” You moan him praises, his name on your lips like the chorus to your favorite song. The tension in your body is rising, your hips rolling of their own accord, your muscles growing taut. Bradley reads you like a book, understanding your fervor, and meeting your need with quicker, harder movements of his fingers.

“Bradley—more, I need more,” You’ve been reduced to begging again. “I want you harder.”

Jesus fucking Christ, it’s like you’re vocalizing every single thing he’d been fantasizing about, begging him to go harder in that cute little needy tone. He liked to think you might like it rough, but shit, you’re so inexperienced; he didn’t think you’d ask for it already. He is more than happy to oblige you, of course.

But Bradley needs to keep his mind on getting you off because he’s so pent-up at this point; he might cum in his pants like a schoolboy from just your voice and sweet-tasting pussy. Putting his free hand on your ass, he props your pelvis, creating more tension around your abdominal muscles. It takes only seconds for your foot that is resting on his back to start shaking. The irregular tremors have him intensify his efforts.

“I’m almost… there,” You hum, anchoring yourself to Bradley, grabbing his hair and probably pulling too hard. He groans against your core, the vibrations nearly leaving you screaming. “Please -Please—like like this, Bradley,”

And then, suddenly, like a band snapping, your body collapses and you finally find your release. Bradley presses his face into you as you cum, not stopping licking you, wanting to taste you at your peak. Your thighs tighten around his head, delightfully painfully before shakily releasing him again—the way you tighten around his fingers, makes him wish it was his cock instead. Fuck, you are tight.

As your body melt into the mattress, all tension suddenly gone, every knot untangled, Bradley withdraws his fingers from you. He helps you ride out your wave, softly kissing your folds, feeling how it still makes your leg shake. Bradley wonders if you’d let him make you cum for a second time, but you start squirming the moment he applies more pressure.

“No - no,” You’re feebly trying to pull him up, grappling at Bradley’s face and shoulders. “I can’t, I don’t-” The words come out disjointed, but your intent is clear. You’re overstimulated and don’t want any more right now. Luckily, Bradley understands you perfectly and simply kisses your hip again, before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

You’re still trying to catch your breath, and focus your vision as you come off your high. Bradley moves up to you and pulls you in his arms, moving you onto your side, sliding your leg over his hip. Your head is resting comfortably on his arm, nose brushing against his chest. Closing your eyes, you cuddle up closer to him.

“You’re so beautiful,” He tells you softly, as he kisses your forehead. “Next time, I want to see your pretty face as you cum.” Bradley adds teasingly. You giggle, as you look up at him, your eyes meeting his. He is teasing you, of course, but he’s looking at you lovingly.

Fuck.

It’s really never going to be enough.

You will have to go living the rest of your life with the knowledge that your paths only intersect at this moment in time, and that Bradley’s loving looks, strong hands and skillful mouth are not yours to have. Just for now. Just for here.

So where do you go from here?

Do you pull back and accept the burden of knowing that you’ll never have more of him than this? Or do you plunge in head first, understanding that every additional touch, every kiss, and every way height Bradley teases you will be the impossible measure for every future encounter?

Right now, your head and heart still buzzing, your limbs tangled around him, and his fingers dancing down your spine, the answer is so easy.

Craning your neck, your mouth seeks out his—you are pretty sure you can taste yourself on his wet lips. It exhilarates you. If you’re going to let this change you, you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t at least try to make sure Bradley won’t forget about you so easily, either.

Your hands are traveling down his torso, your fingers clumsily back at the waistband of his slacks, unbuttoning them. You can feel how hard he is against your stomach—it would be incredibly unfair if you didn’t reciprocate. Even though you’re not quite sure what to do. Bradley hums as your hand brushes against his erection.

“You don’t have to, sweetheart.” He lies, wanting nothing more than your hands on his cock, or, even better, your mouth. But he also doesn’t want to force you into anything—for tonight, he can take it slow.

“I want to,” You reply determinedly, tugging at his pants. Well, who is he to deny you? He thinks with a grin. Raising his hips, he helps you strip him off his pants and underwear. Finally, he is a naked as you are. Your eyes greedily roam over his body, and linger on his erection. The way your tongue darts out to wet your lips, the fact you’re probably not even doing that consciously, has Bradley’s head spinning.

“Show me what you like,” You whisper against his mouth as your fingers move up and down over his treasure trail. He groans, screwing his eyes shut.

He must have dreamed you up. He must have died the night he crashed, and gotten stuck in a strange purgatory where you are his redemption.

Gently, Bradley takes your hand from his stomach, and wraps your significantly smaller hand around his cock, covering it with his own.

“Just like that, baby,” He moans as he moves your hand with his own. Using your hand to jerk himself off makes him feel like he’s corrupting you, and it’s turning him on even more. Bradley is unsure how long he will last as he guides your hand to just the right amount of pressure and speed. You’re kissing his neck, experimentally nipping at him, finding his most sensitive spots. God, you’re so eager to please, so determined to excel—and a quick study.

“You’re so big,” You hum in between kisses. “Can I… taste you?”

Bradley curses. He wasn’t going to ask, but if you’re offering…

He lets go of your hand, moving onto his back. You’re half draped over him, your hand still on his cock. You move back, sitting on your knees between his legs. Propping his head up with the pillow, he follows your movements with rapt interest. Tucking a few trends of your now-messy hair behind your ears before your hand returns to his erection, moving slowly but determinedly. Cautiously, you bring your mouth over his cocks, dragging your tongue over his length. Bradley hisses, and you almost stop moving. “Keep going, baby,” He encourages you.

A blush is creeping down his chest, and he is breathing heavily as he’s looking at you with hooded eyes. Pumping your hand, you take as much as you can in your mouth—it’s never going to fit—a slight chocking sound escaping you, Bradley’s cock hits the back of your throat. You hear him curse between encouragements as you begin to move more, trying to find a rhythm.

You hope he’s not just being kind to you and this is actually pleasurable for him, as your jaw soon starts straining. Releasing his length, your eyes meet Bradley’s for a moment, and you wonder if it’s really clear you have no idea what you’re doing.

Bradley reaches out to you, caressing your jaw before winding his fingers through your hair again, grasping you tightly at the scalp. Your eyes flutter.

“Let me show you how I like it, baby,” He guides your head gently over his cock again, pushing you down until he feels you resist with a small whimper. Fuck. Just that sound over and over would be enough to send him over the edge.

“Your mouth feels so good, Anya, and you’re doing such a great job,” Bradley’s constant flattery has you on a cloud. “Relax your throat, baby.” He advises you as he sets a rhythm, moving your head up and down. You try your best to fit more of Bradley, moving your hand over his thick cock in tandem with your mouth, but tears spring in your eyes as he bucks his hips up.

Bradley is so close already he’s almost embarrassed. But when you lock eyes with him, his cock filling your pretty mouth, as you valiantly take more and more of him, he can’t take it anymore.

It’s been a long time since the need to orgasm has almost caught him off guard—god, he wants to cum in your warm mouth, and watch it dribble down your chin. No, not this time, not if this is only your first time giving head. That would be unfair to you.

You yelp in surprise as Bradley suddenly pulls your head up—for a moment you’re scared you did something wrong. Your hand still as his hand comes to cover yours again, pumping along his length hard and fast. Bradley arches backward, every muscle in his body taut, as this ropes of cum shoot all over your chest.

Bradley collapses into the mattress for a second before immediately sitting up, a worried look in his face.

“Shit, sweetheart- I’m sorry,” He starts hurriedly.

“Why?” You ask, unsure, but also a little dejected.

“I didn’t mean to cum all over you,” Fuck, he’s never going to get his vision from his mind. You, sitting on his bed, naked and marked, with his cum covering your beautiful tits. “Let me get you a towel.”

“You’re saying it like it’s a bad thing.” Your tone has a light edge.

“Not a bad thing, sweetheart,” Bradley assures you as he moves past you. “I think my cum looks great on you,” He winks at you over his shoulder as he grabs a towel from the small adjacent bathroom. You playfully narrow your eyes at him.

Bradley helps you wipe down, stealing teasing kisses from you as he does. Finally, he pulls you against him under the covers on the narrow bed, slotting his legs between yours as he spoons you.

“Stay the night.” Bradley murmurs in your ear.

“I can stay now, not the whole night,” You reply, fighting your heavy eyelids.

“I can live with now.”

***

It’s still early in the evening—it can’t be later than 8 PM—but the sun is almost set. Over the hills flanking the river valley in the center of the city, the sky is dappled in quickly fading shades of pink and orange. It’s not warm after the long rainy day, and the April air still has a bite to it. You are wrapped up in your coat, a light scarf helping protect you from the chill.

But what helps most is being cozied up to Bradley, your left hand wrapped up in his, tucked securely in his coat pocket. You are strolling, shoulder to shoulder, savoring the moments when you can appear just as any other couple. He knows the way now—as many escape routes and diversions as you could teach him, there is no reason to pretend this is still for practice. It’s for you.

Six days is such a short goddamn time, and you’re already halfway through your allotted time together.

It’s been hanging over the two of you like a sword. You don’t really talk about it, both tacitly electing to avoid the subject. Of course, it’s not like you can pretend it’s not happening. Bit by bit, you’ve been trading and searching for things for Bradley’s journey. All you know is he will be traveling south, towards the Austrian border, where his liaison will take him on the rest of the journey. The southern border is mountainous and overgrown with this pine forests. It’s muddy in spring—slippery and treacherous.

Good boots. Dark, warm clothes. Wax-covered matches. A torch. Food.

The list in your head goes on, but always stops short before the final items you should return to him. The ones you took from him all those months ago, hidden away, tucked into an old shoebox behind at the bottom of your closet. His papers. His gun.

Bradley's identification bracelet suddenly feels heavy in your coat pocket, where it’s been for all this time.

Your heart clenches. When you give Bradley all those things back, it’ll be the real end. He’ll disappear out of your life, and you won’t have a tangible trace of him left. Which is the safest solution.

But what if you forget him? Forget his warm brown eyes, soft honey curls, that cocky smirk, and the sound of that deep raspy voice in your ear? What is your mind cannot conjure up the smell of his skin anymore? Is it all eventually meant to fade away in a dream?

Just because that’s the sanest, most sensible, and safest thing to do?

Your face pulls into a sorrowful frown, staring down at the cobbled pavement under your feet. It’s easy to forget around Bradley, he drives you to distraction with one look. But you’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t long for the intimacy, someone to share your secrets with, and just him. You’re throwing yourself into this romance with reckless abandon, but the reality is never far away.

Whenever you allow yourself to dwell on it for more than a few seconds, the dark pit in your stomach seems to get deeper. In just a few days, you will have to take the plunge, and you’ll watch him turn away from you for the last time—and you’ll still be here with only memories for company.

It’s only when you feel a slight nudge against your shoulder, you look up. Bradley is looking down at you wordlessly, but fondness and worry are evident in his eyes. Why spend your precious time worrying? He’s here now. And he’s looking at you—only at you.

You smile, stopping him, not minding the people on the street rushing past you. You bounce up, aiming your lips for the corner of his mouth. Bradley automatically inclines his face to you, almost as if by a magnetic force, easing your access. His mustache tickles against your lips with easy familiarity, like you’ve been packing a lifetime of experiences into six short days.

Slowly you resume your journey down the street, turning onto the embankment. It’s fully dark now, the promenade lit by the orange glow of the ornate wrought iron streetlights, casting creeping, flickering shadows around the street. The soft wash of the flowing river and the call of birds fill the background.

You pass a few other couples—the vista of the old town, the thousand spires, and quiet spots on the benches between the trees make it a prime spot for romantic couples. It feels like the most natural thing to be walking here with Bradley—you can’t help but think that this is exactly what you’d be doing together if it weren’t for the war.

Carried on the wind, a piano melody sounds from an open window. You recognize it. It was a popular pre-war jazz song. The tempo is lower, and the pianist is adding flourishes and improvisations, almost as if any recognizable part of the melody is just a coincidence. You slow down a little bit, almost involuntarily, to stretch out the moment.

Bradley notices—how can he not? You’ve been comfortably burrowing yourself into every part of his brain. And heart. Although he’s not quite sure, he is ready to admit to that. To what end even? To make an impossible promise?

He follows your gaze up to the open window. Whoever plays the piano is exceedingly good at it, carefully weaving the simple melody in complex patterns. It’s almost surreal, mesmerizing even—the quiet promenade in twilight, the music fluttering down. You’ve come to a standstill, almost wistfully looking up at the window, lips just a fraction apart.

Bradley takes your hand from his pocket, lacing his fingers through yours. Your eyes meet his as he pulls you against him, other arms sneaking around your waist. He could charm the devil with that smile, and you cannot help but smile back at him. “Can I have this dance, miss?” He teases, voice soft, leading you through the first few steps. Your free hand comes up to his shoulder automatically. “Gentlemen ask first.” You chastise in a whisper, grinning, following his lead. The last time you danced, you were so distracted you barely noticed how well Bradley danced—he always moves with such ease, so fluidly. He maneuvers you so easily through the steps it’s like you’re floating in his arms.

“And miss a moment of this?” Bradley’s voice is suddenly earnest, brushing his nose against yours. You just chuckle in response before closing your eyes and sighing. In a faraway part of your mind, you allow yourself to uncover your unspoken wishes, the dreams you hardly dare to dream, the fantasy where nothing but Bradley happened. You go dancing together, laughing and joking instead of speaking in covert glances and whispers, where he’ll wait for you after class with flowers in his hand, sweeping you off your feet every time. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” You utter softly. Saying it out loud makes you feel strangely light, like for a moment, you are living that fantasy.

Bradley twirls you playfully, heart jumping slightly as he catches sight of the dreamy smile on your face. The giggle that escapes your lips mingles with the music as if it was always supposed to be part of it.

He’s known you for almost two months, you being the only person he ever saw, ever spoke to—and he thought he had you figured out pretty well. But it’s as if he’s had a crash course in you in the past three days. From your spitfire attitude and drive to excel that excite him so much, to your endearing innocence and warm generosity that have his head spinning.

Bradley’s been in love before; he’s quite sure of it. Had anyone asked him a few months ago, he would have joked he’d been in love a thousand times for a night at a time. But nothing he ever felt before—even when he was sure he had been in love—measures up to the maelstrom of feelings he has around you. Everything else just fades into the background when he has your full attention.

Bradley pulls you back into him, wanting to feel your closer again. Now that he still can. Your fingers trace over his cheek, where the scar has been forming. The soft look of fondness on your face makes it impossible not to kiss you. Bradley wasn’t planning on restricting himself when it comes to that. Every kiss might be the last.

You welcome his mouth against yours, immediately opening your lips for him. It’s hardly appropriate for him to kiss you so passionately in public, but you cannot find it in yourself to truly care.

All you want is for this moment never to end. ***

You try to stifle a yawn unsuccessfully, turning your head away from your companions at the small table at the café. It’s mid-morning, and you and Eva are having a friendly catch-up over tea with old classmates. You have a vague recollection you promised you’d tag along, but you didn’t remember it was supposed to be today—or rather, you didn’t think about it anymore—until Eva dragged you out of bed this morning.

Forcing yourself to participate in the gossip and light chatter, you can’t help when your brain fogs over from tiredness. You didn’t slip into your bed until 5 AM that morning—the sun was already coming up by the time you managed to untangle yourself from Bradley. He keeps insisting you sleep over; you keep insisting that you can’t.

It’s about patterns. Like you take the same route to work each day, you greet your neighbors, you sleep in your own bed. Because there is no explanation for why you wouldn’t.

“Anna, are you okay?” As Tereza asks, three pairs of eyes at the table all turn to look at you, all other chatter stopping short like they’ve all been dying to ask the question. “You look...” She hesitates as if she’s looking for the right word. “Exhausted.”

Oh.

“I’m on the night shift a lot.” You clarify, smiling serenly, taking a sip from your tea.

“Oh, is that what we’re calling it these days?” Eva’s quip elicits giggles from the whole table. You titter along, shooting Eva a sharp look. She just shrugs in response, a satisfied grin on her face. Mercifully, the conversation moves along quickly; after all, it’s a lot more fun to gossip about people that are not at the table currently.

When you finally leave the café, you feel like you’re dead on your feet. Eva hooks her arms through yours, and together you start walking back home.

“It was fun seeing the girls again,” Eva starts conversationally.

“I’m glad they’re doing well,” You reply, blinking against the sun. “The tea was good too.”

“It doesn’t compare to before.” Eva retorts. “And those cakes! They’re more sawdust than flour.” She adds dramatically.

“I’m sure they don’t put actual sawdust in it.” You laugh. Eva just rolls her eyes. “It tasted more like sand to me.” You whisper conspiratorially.

Eva elbows you in the ribs as you laugh together. When you feel another yawn coming up, you don’t bother hiding it, merely covering your mouth with your hand.

“I don’t know why you bother pretending you sleep in your bed,” Eva says in that tone, where it sounds so very clinical and non-accusatory, but you’ve known her long enough to know it’s a dig at you.

“I like sleeping in my own bed.” You reply simply.

“Funny,” She snorts. “As you’ve barely done so in the last few days.”

“Okay, Mom.” You roll your eyes at her.

“Hey,” Eva stops walking, grabbing your sleeve. “I’m just making fun of you—I can hear you sneaking in the early hours.”

You regard her impassively, expecting some sort of lecture.

“And Tereza was right; you look exhausted. But… you also look happy.” Eva cracks a genuine smile. “And I just want you to know, you don’t have to pretend on my account.”

“Thank you.” You tell her warmly. Of course your best friend would be able to see beyond your facade—and you don’t really expect differently from her.

“That said—I want details. Who are you spending your - ehm, “night shift” with?” She starts walking again, pulling you with her, wiggling her eyes brows. You groan, trying to tear your arm from hers. “I’ll start guessing.” She warns you.

The strangled sound that escapes you is way too loud, akin to a dying animal. Several people walking down the street past you on the street look around at you like you’ve grown a second head, which sends Eva into a fit of giggles.

“You are so dramatic sometimes, Anya, honestly.” She chastises you, still laughing.

“No, you just drive me to insanity.” You sigh.

“No, but really, you have to tell me,” Her voice is suddenly quiet, as she quickly looks around to see if anyone is near. “Is it that tall and handsome piece of ass that you have stashed, you know…” She jerks her head upward. “Up there?”

A part of you wants to slap your hand over Eva’s mouth to stop her from talking out of embarrassment and to stop her from blabbing something dangerous. The more rational part of you decides it’s better not to react at all and just write this off insane ramblings. So instead of saying anything, you just shoot Eva a stern look as you shake your head—this is not a topic you’ll be discussing.

Of course that’s all the confirmation she needs.

Maybe one day, when the story is no longer a threat to your life, you will tell Eva the whole story over a bottle of wine or two—your crazy, dangerous, and impossible wartime romance. One day, that’s all it will be; a story rooted in distant memories.

note | im the actual worst, sorry (but mostly slow)

#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw x female reader #rooster bradshaw #top gun maverick #rooster fanfic #rooster top gun #rooster x oc #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster x you #rooster x female reader #top gun fanfiction #bradley bradshaw imagine #rooster bradshaw x female reader #rooster bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw x oc #rooster bradshaw x oc

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jennyboom21 · 4 months

Text

“It’s going to keep going,” Ms. Wright says, “until someone who has something to lose stands up and just says ‘I’m gay.’ Somebody big.” She continues: “We need our heroes.”

What if someone had already tried, at least once, to change the culture by becoming such a hero? What if, because our culture had yet to come to terms with homophobia, it wasn’t ready for her?

What if that hero’s name was Taylor Alison Swift?

I want to be defined by the things that I love,

Not the things I hate,

Not the things that I’m afraid of, I’m afraid of,

Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night,

I just think that,

You are what you love.

Her star — as bright as it is now — would surely dim.

That questioning speaks to an earnest conundrum that queer people confront regularly: Do we live in this world, or the world to which we ought to aspire?

And so just for a little while longer, we need our heroes.

In every case, is the best form of solidarity still silence?

I think not. And so, I must say, as loudly as I can, “I can see you,” even if I risk foolishness for doing so.

She’s rushing, as if stopping, even for a second, will cause her to lose her nerve. She stumbles at the bridge, pauses and starts again; the queen of bridges will not mess this up, not tonight.

But on that stage, she found herself. I was there. Through a fuzzy fancam, I saw it.

And somehow, that was everything.

#nyt x Gaylor swift #Gaylor swift x the msm #mainstream media x gaylor swift #gaylor fandom #Swiftgron #Taymily #tily #the New York Times article

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