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pearwaldorf · 6 months

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I hate that you can't see a tweet thread anymore if you're not logged into Twitter (as a gesture of disrespect I refuse to call it by its rebranded name). Here is a copypasta of a thread from Dan Olson, a Canadian documentary filmmaker, expanding upon camera quality, the guilt trips Somerton used to goose his Patreon subscriptions, and how the best tools will never make up for lack of dedication or patience. I have added clarifications in [[double brackets]] where I feel it is necessary.

START OF THREAD

Okay, so, back in April I snapped at James in reply to a tweet that was linking to this video (which James has since delisted but not deleted) and I want to talk about the full context of that but I don't want to make a video, put your beatdown memes away. [[The video has since been deleted. I can see the title of the video is "Maybe the end (not an April Fool's Day thing".]]

The first bit of context is that I initially got keyed into James to fact-check his claims about indie filmmaking in Canada. As a filmmaker the entire Telos venture was immediately obvious as a juvenile fantasy dreamed up by someone with no idea how to make a movie.

Just wild claims about their plans that weren't worth debunking because they bordered Not Even Wrong. But in watching one of these pitch videos I noticed that he had a $4000 current-gen camera in the background as a prop, and that seemed both pretentious and weird.

You don't use your best camera as a prop, you use your second best camera as a prop. So being an obsessive weirdo I needed to know, and I watched his BTS stuff until I spotted his main rig, a $6000 camera with about $1000 in accessories.

Now, these in isolation are unremarkable because his Patreon at the time was bringing in ~$8000 per month, his channel was a full on Business business, and so investing in some professional equipment of that level is maybe a bit indulgent but justifiable.

What was weird is that he doesn't shoot multi-cam, doesn't shoot outdoors, doesn't shoot on location, and in a studio the two cameras kinda really step on each others' toes. Basically if you already have one and don't need a B cam there's no reason to get the other.

Again, on its own, this says nothing, it's just indicative of poor financial decisions, maybe impulsive purchasing, Gear Acquisition Syndrome. Biblical sins, but not crimes.

Paired with the constantly inflating fantasy scope of the Telos films it was clearly an expression of a very, very common bad filmmaker habit of "if I just get the right gear then my movie will basically make itself" Buying stuff because it feels like progress.

At the end of February he tweets "I want to start shooting anamorphic" and then three weeks later in March he posts the worst, out of focus, under-exposed "I just got a new lens!" video I've ever seen, showing off his trash-covered bedroom.

Based on what's available for his cameras and the lead time, that's enough time to get a Laowa Nanomorph or Sirui Saturn from B&H but not enough time to get a Great Joy from the UK or a Vazen from China. And with the flaring blah blah blah, $1300 lens.

Again, [gear acquisition syndrome] is not a crime and these lenses are budget options. Bit of a pointless impulse purchase since he only used it for the Showgirls video. But this is what he was doing just a few weeks before that above video came out: effortlessly impulse purchasing lenses.

James has (had?) a habit of regularly, aggressively driving viewers to Patreon by claiming that videos were getting demonetized. While tacky, it is something a lot of queer YouTubers have dealt with, so there's precedent there. But people were noticing he did it a lot.

Mid-March he humble brags about needing to work so hard to make 6 videos in April because he has over-booked sponsorships.

Then March 29th James posts this whole incel screed on Twitter about how sex work should be "subsidized as a mental health service."

[two image descriptions.

1. "For the majority of people sex (and human contact) can be imperative to a healthy state of mind. A kind and talented sex worker can make someone feel wanted for the first time in their life. I know sex workers who have pulled people back from suicide just by being there for them." 2. "Not only should (sex work) be legal, but it should be subsidized as a mental health service."]

He spends several days getting absolutely *roasted* for this, just dragged across the pavement and read for filth, and doubles down in the replies the whole way.

So this is the context immediately surrounding James waking up on Friday, and posts the above video and the below tweet.

[image description: "We just got the lowest Patreon payout we've gotten in well over a year. Like, a "maybe we need to rethink things" kind of amount... NOT an April Fools Day thing btw. But I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer."]

Now, this unfolds in kinda two directions. The first is that I'm convinced he was just lying about this income shock in the first place.

There's a million theoretical edge cases about what maybe happened and if maybe he just misunderstood the data or saw a glitch and panicked, maybe one of those happened, I don't believe it, I think he just lied because he was salty about getting dragged and felt owed a win.

A big tell to me is that he doesn't blame Patreon. He says he doesn't know what happened, but let's be real, Patreon screws up all the time, they're the first people anyone blames if anything confusing happens, just as a reflex action, even if it's completely not their fault.

The only reason to not blame Patreon is if you already know that it's not their fault and that any investigation on their part might reveal embarrassing details.

Instead he indirectly blames his viewers for not watching enough, not sharing enough, and not turning on auto-renew.

So regardless of the unknowable truth, this segues into the second, far more offensive direction of the messaging itself. "I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer." "Maybe the end" He explicitly framed this as an immediate existential threat to his channel.

In the video he is vague about everything, leaves a ton of hazy room for plausible deniability on how long the channel can keep going, but the messaging is "I need more patrons right this minute or my YouTube channel is over."

He repeatedly evokes all the "fun stuff" they had planned that would never see the light of day if this didn't turn around right away.

And his audience received this message loud and clear. Tons of people making far, far, far less than him left very heartfelt messages about digging a little deeper to subscribe or up their pledge or unsubscribe from other channels to move their pledge to his.

1200 new patrons in one day.

Since I simply don't believe the income shock was real in the first place that would put his post-"Maybe the end" Patreon income at around $10,000 per month. US. Add YouTube income, he's spent the last seven months making around $18,000 per month.

I have seen creators scale back their capabilities to the bone purely to keep making videos for the love of just, like, making stuff even as their funding evaporated and they needed to go back to a desk job to cover their bills.

You'd have to be so outstandingly reckless with your finances as a channel that a one month spook leads immediately to "channel over, sorry about all the fun stuff we won't get to do with you, our patrons, specifically because you, our patrons, aren't giving us enough money"

And not a spook where you then spend a couple weeks crunching numbers. Oh no. A shock so violent where less than two hours later you're weeping on camera about the channel being over.

Three weeks later he brought a brand new Sony FX6v for $8000 CAD to add to his pile of cinema cameras despite the fact that he was, but scant moments earlier, in such a precarious position that a single bad month would kill his channel.

He stole your money, and for that I'm profoundly sad and angry. That's why I snapped at him in April. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the full context then, and I'm sorry if that anger upset you.

END OF THREAD

#james somerton #dan olson #hbomberguy #jesus christ tumblr #it won't let me format things the way i want #because this website is sometimes a piece of shit

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of-monsters-and-werewolves · 1 year

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I love that the memes and style of posting Redditors are bringing over are very Tumblr-esque but they're not quite the same, with just enough distinction they have an ever so slight different vibe to them.

It's like convergent evolution where we've both got wings but one's leathery, the other feathery, or we're both large aquatic swimmers but one has gills, the other a blowhole, and we inhabit slightly different but potentially overlapping niches.

Twitter users on the other hand evolved from us after leaving the population and are now unrecognisable.

#196 #tumblr #reddit #reddit refugees #reddit blackout #twitter refugees #twitter #r/196

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mrschtappen · 2 months

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𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄

I : The Call of the Circuit -> II : Dreams Ignited (soon) -> III : Untitled (soon)

masterlist

Max Verstappen x Schumacher!reader

Synopsis: childhood friends Max Verstappen and you, the daughter of racing legend Michael Schumacher, evolve from best friends to fierce rivals to teammates. maybe then to lovers....?

Monday, 10th December, 2018 Faenza, Italy

You sat alone at your new office, your eyes fixed on the glowing screen of your phone. The Twitter announcement you had posted earlier that day was still causing ripples across the internet, igniting a firestorm of reactions and responses from fans and followers around the world.

As you scrolled through the flood of comments, memes, and well-wishes flooding your feed, a smile tugged at the corners of your lips. The overwhelming wave of support and excitement from your supporters served as a poignant reminder of the incredible journey that lay ahead.

You made sure you turned off the lights of your new office when you were about to go. Settling inside your Audi R8, the soft chime from your phone took your attention away from driving.

As you read Max's message about bringing a Michael Schumacher merch from Germany, a wave of mixed emotions washed over you. The mention of your father's name, especially in connection with Germany, brought back vivid memories of the ski accident that had changed your lives forever in 2013.

your heart felt heavy, a subtle ache resurfacing as you recalled the challenging times that followed your father's accident. The uncertainty, the hope, and the unwavering support from loved ones, including Max, during those difficult years played like a reel in your mind.

Despite the pain and the bittersweet nostalgia, you weren't angry with Max for bringing up those memories. In fact, you felt a sense of gratitude for his thoughtfulness and the comfort of your shared history. Max had been a pillar of strength and understanding throughout your journey, and his genuine care and friendship meant more to you than any merchandise ever could.

Sitting alone in your car, you took a moment to let the emotions wash over you. You reflected on your journey and the pivotal decision to join Formula 1, a deep sense of determination and purpose filled your heart. Since you were three years old, the dream of racing in F1 had been a beacon of hope and ambition, driving you to push boundaries and defy expectations.

You knew that stepping onto the track wasn't just about fulfilling your childhood dreams; it was also a tribute to your father and the legacy he had built. The memories of watching Michael Schumacher's triumphant moments, especially his 6th championship title, had ignited a spark within you, fueling her passion and commitment to chase after her own aspirations.

Despite the challenges and the weight of the past, you felt a profound sense of gratitude and pride. You knew that your journey was a testament to your resilience, determination, and the unwavering support of those who believed in you, including Max.

Sunday, 12th October, 2003 Suzuka, Japan

As a three-year-old, you may not have comprehended the complexity of Formula One racing, the excitement buzzing in the air, the infectious energy of the crowd through the grandstands. The vibrant colors of the racing cars zooming past, the deafening roar of engines, and the flashes of cameras captured your attention, painting a kaleidoscope of sensory impressions.

Although your understanding was limited at such a tender age, the sight of Michael Schumacher, dressed in his iconic red racing suit, elicited a sense of pride and admiration within your young heart.

"That's my dad !" your little fingers pointed at the red car zooming the finish line, practically screaming at everyone as you started clapping then.

The warmth of your mother's embrace welcomed you as you cheered together, caught up in the euphoria of the moment.

your eyes wide with wonder as you watched your father bask in the spotlight and as Michael Schumacher descended from the podium, triumphant and beaming with joy, his eyes sought out you, your mother and your older brother Mick in the crowd. With a tender smile, he reached out to scoop up his young daughter, lifting you into his arms and hoisting you high above the crowd.

the cameras flashed and the crowd erupted into applause, you enjoyed the attention, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world to be held in the arms of your racing hero.

The image of your bond captured for all to see, you knew that this was a moment you would cherish forever—a moment when you felt truly seen and cherished by the man who meant the world to you.

your dad, Michael Schumacher.

Saturday, 27th November 2003. Gland, Switzerland

you stepped onto the karting track for the very first time, your heart pounding with excitement and nerves. The whole family was there along with your dad's friend's family, the Vertsappens. With your tiny hands gripping the steering wheel of your go-kart, you were confused on how the whole kart operates.

"You've got this schatzi !" You heard your dad cheer for you from a distance, calling you a nickname that means sweetie in German.

Frustrated, you spoke

"How do I do this ?"

Max Verstappen, the seasoned six-year-old racer, flashed you a mischievous grin as he leaned over to offer his expertise.

"Watch and learn, little rookie. First, you gotta push down on the pedal like this..."

With a swift motion, Max demonstrated, his foot pressing down on the accelerator pedal with practiced ease. You watched intently, your eyes wide with fascination.

"Like this?"

you mimicked Max's actions, but your foot hesitated on the pedal, unsure of the right amount of pressure to apply.

Max chuckled, reaching over to gently guide your foot.

"Almost there, y/n ! You just need to press a little harder."

you nodded eagerly, determined to master the art of go-karting with Max's help.

"Got it! Thanks, Maxie !"

As you zip around the track, the conversation turned to your shared love for Formula One racing.

"Do you think we'll ever drive in Formula One, Max ?"

Max grinned, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

"Of course! And when we do, I'll be the world champion, then Mick and you will be my trusty sidekicks."

you rolled her eyes playfully, a giggle escaping your lips.

"Dream on, Max! I'll be the one leaving you in the dust!"

"Hey, you two ! How's it going ? " a familiar voice chimed in from behind you, causing both Max and you to turn around

Max grinned, giving Mick a playful nod.

"We're having a blast ! little rookie here is a natural behind the wheel."

you blushed at the praise from Max

"Thanks, Maxie ! And hey, Mick, I'm going to beat you someday !"

Mick laughed heartily, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Is that so ? Well, I look forward to the challenge ! Let's see who can get to formula one first"

Your banter filled the air with laughter as the three of you raced around the track, your friendship growing stronger with each passing lap. And as you crossed the finish line second, just a few millisecond behind Max, a smile grew wide on your face.

"Looks like you've got a prodigy, are you sure this is her first time ? She's a natural" Max's dad said, a chuckle escaped from your dad

You crossed the finish line just 4 tenths of a second later than someone who was 3 years older than you. You can feel the pride surging even when you were just so little.

"wow you're fast" your older brother said, giving you a high five as you returned it enthusiastically with a tiny jump

"yeah, not so bad little rookie !" Max also gave you a high five

you smile with your tiny teeths showing, your dad embraced you, lifting you up in the air

"my daughter is a soon to be formula one racer, and the world shall know you as for you are, not the daughter of a six time world champion but y/n Schumacher."

you couldn't help but feel grateful for everyone's guidance and support, knowing that with them by your side, you knew you were able to achieve anything.

Thursday, 14 March 2019 Melbourne, Australia ROUND ONE

As you took your first steps out to greet the fans, a wave of exhilaration and gratitude washed over you. The energy from the crowd was palpable, a mix of excitement, anticipation, and overwhelming support. The sight of fans waving flags, holding up banners, and wearing team colors was a surreal and heartwarming experience for you.

Walking along the barricades, you were met with a sea of merchandise bearing your name and face, along with the iconic Michael Schumacher memorabilia that fans had brought along. The presence of the Michael Schumacher merchandise added an extra layer of emotion to the moment, reminding you of the legacy you were a part of and the immense responsibility that came with it.

As you greeted fans, signing autographs and posing for photos, several fans couldn't help but comment on the striking resemblance between you and your legendary father, Michael Schumacher. Their kind words and compliments about your beauty and resemblance to your father filled you with a sense of pride and humility.

Amidst the flurry of interactions, one fan caught your attention with a cheeky remark that left both of you laughing.

you backed away with laughter, cupping your mouth, looking at a marriage certificate by an older fanboy, a good looking one you couldn't lie.

"I'm 19 !" You exclaimed, a wide laugh still visible on your face

"Maybe in a few years !" You joked, before moving to another fan, signing her cap with the number 57 on it, a number you chose to drive for.

It was media day today which means there's no driving and the press conference began with Lewis Hamilton from Mercedes, Sebastian Vettel of Ferrari, Daniel Ricciardo from Renault, Max Verstappen of Red Bull Racing and of course yourself, y/n Schumacher from Scuderia Toro Rosso.

"We’re gathered under very sad circumstances, following the news that Charlie Whiting, the FIA’s Director of Formula One died during the early hours of this morning. I’d like to start this press conference by asking each of the drivers present for their thoughts and memories of Charlie. Lewis, could we start with you, please?" Lewis spoke to the mic

"I’ve known Charlie since I started in 2007. I made some comments this morning on my Instagram. It may have not worked, as I think it’s down but obviously incredibly shocked this morning to hear the sad news and my thoughts and prayers are with him and his family. What he did for this sport, I mean, his commitment… he really was a pillar, as Toto said, such an iconic figure in the sporting world and he contributed so much for us, so may he rest in peace."

as the other drivers stated their comments regarding the passing of the late Charlie Whiting, it was your turn to answer

"How about y/n ? I believe this has come to a big shock as well as your father was also racing when he was the f1 racing director ?"

"yes, my father raced during Charlie's tenure as F1 Racing Director. I've met Charlie a few times and found him to be a wonderful person. His dedication to safety and fairness in Formula One was unmatched. Charlie's ability to connect with everyone in the paddock and his unwavering passion for the sport made him irreplaceable. My thoughts are with his family, friends, and the entire FIA community during this tough time. His legacy in Formula One will always be remembered"

as they continued tho the next question, you were shocked as to how bold and daring for this male interviewer to ask the whole lot of drivers with you

"Given the whispers around the paddock about nepotism getting y/n Schumacher this seat due to her father's legacy, and considering she is the sole female on the grid, do you drivers genuinely believe she is as competent as the other drivers, or do you acknowledge a potential gap in her skill?"

As the interviewer's words cut through the tension of the room, your face tightened, a blend of disbelief and frustration clouding your features. The weight of the question bore down on you, amplifying your discomfort and vulnerability in that moment.

You felt exposed, the spotlight glaringly bright, intensifying the scrutiny you felt as the only female driver on the grid.

Sensing your discomfort, a subtle shift occurred amongst the drivers on the panel. Eyes darted towards you, expressions reflecting concern and empathy.

Among them, Max Verstappen's gaze lingered a moment longer, his usually confident demeanor softened by genuine concern for his fellow driver.

The collective silence that followed the question seemed to stretch on, the atmosphere thick with tension. But within you, a resilient fire ignited. Drawing strength from the supportive glances of your peers and your own unwavering determination, you steadied yourself. You would not let this moment define you or shake your belief in your own capabilities.

"could we start with you again Lewis ?"

Lewis's expression tightened, clearly upset by the nature of the question.

"Honestly, I find it disappointing that in this day and age, we're still having these discussions. Women have proven time and time again that they can compete at the highest levels of motorsport. I've been a staunch supporter of women in racing, and I've seen firsthand the talent and determination they bring to the track."

"Look, in Formula 1, everyone's path to the grid is different. Yes, some of us come from racing families or have certain connections, but ultimately, talent and hard work are what count. I've faced skepticism throughout my career for various reasons, and I've always chosen to let my performance on the track speak for itself. As for y/n, she's shown promise and skill in her journey to F1. The sport is better when we have diverse talents, and I believe she deserves her place here"

"Thank you for the answer, could we move on to Vettel next ?"

Vettel's brows furrowed, eyes narrowing with a mix of disbelief and growing indignation. "It's disappointing, really, to hear these questions. Every driver on this grid has earned their seat through dedication, hard work, and skill. Formula 1 is a tough environment, and to suggest that anyone is here purely because of their name or gender undermines the effort we all put in. I've met y/n and seen her commitment firsthand. She belongs here as much as anyone else."

Then they moved on to Danny. His jovial demeanor momentarily shifted as he heard the interviewer's pointed question directed at you. Being someone who often exudes positivity and fairness, Daniel values meritocracy and respects the grind every driver goes through to reach Formula 1. Hearing a fellow driver being questioned on the basis of nepotism and gender struck a chord with him.

"Ah, the old nepotism and gender card. It's not a new question in F1, but it's one that misses the mark. Sure, having a famous last name might open some doors initially, but it won't keep them open if you can't deliver on track. As for being the only female driver, I think it's about time we focus on skills and capabilities rather than gender. I've had the chance to get to know y/n, and she's got talent. End of story."

Then they moved on to Max, who is known for his fierce competitiveness and straightforwardness. It was clear that he was infuriated by the audacious implication and the discomfort it caused you.

Seeing you visibly uncomfortable only intensified Max's emotions. He felt a surge of protective anger, recognizing the unfair scrutiny and challenges you faced as the only female driver on the grid. In that moment, the friendship among drivers was evident, as Max's concern for your well-being was palpable.

His eyes flashed with fury as he seized the opportunity to address the interviewer's audacious question. His voice dripped with venom as he unleashed his pent-up frustration.

"Firstly, the audacity to question anyone's place on this grid based on gender or family name is just absolute garbage. She's earned her spot on this grid through sheer talent and hard work, just like the rest of us. Anyone who suggests otherwise is either blind or just plain ignorant."

His words were sharp and cutting, each syllable laced with disdain for the backward mindset behind the question. Max's aggression was palpable as he continued to tear down the baseless accusations.

"In case you missed it, Formula 1 is about racing, talent, dedication, and hard work, not gender or who your parents are. It's disappointing to still be facing these backward stereotypes in this day and age. We should be focusing on racing and the incredible talent we have on this grid, not trying to create controversy where there isn't any . For the record, I've raced alongside her, and I've known her my entire life. Y/n is an extraordinary racer through and through, and she's proven herself time and time again."

He paused, taking a breath to temper his rising emotions before continuing,

"So, how about we focus on the actual sport instead of dredging up this garbage ?"

Max's aggressive defence reverberated through the room, leaving no doubt as to where he stood on the matter and silencing any further attempts to undermine your place in the sport.

As you listened to Max's vehement defense, a mixture of emotions washed over you. Initially, there was a sense of relief and gratitude. Max's and the other drivers' unwavering support and fierce defence of you felt like a shield against the unfair scrutiny you had faced. It was reassuring to know that your fellow drivers stood your her and were willing to call out the injustice.

Your eyes briefly met Max's intense gaze, conveying a silent thank you and mutual understanding of the gravity of the situation.

Then it was finally your turn to answer

With a poised demeanor, you addressed the room, your voice steady and confident.

"I'd like to extend my sincere appreciation to my fellow drivers for their support. It speaks volumes about the fellowship and respect we share as competitors."

Pausing momentarily, you continued with a touch of irony,

"Regarding the questions raised about nepotism and being the only female on the grid, I was under the impression that Formula 1 valued skill, determination, and performance above all else. My presence here is a testament to my commitment, capability, and qualities I believe are fundamental to every driver on this grid."

Maintaining your composure, you added, "While these questions may have been posed, my focus remains unwaveringly on racing. I am here to compete, to challenge, and to succeed, just like every other driver. I look forward to letting my performance on the track speak for itself. Besides, I don't see 19 men ahead of me, I see 19 challenges to be conquered."

With this response, you gracefully but firmly addressed the issue, highlighting your professionalism and determination to rise above the noise and excel in your chosen profession.

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copperbadge · 1 year

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Hey Sam! Since it's currently AO3 donation time, I'm wondering what your thoughts are on it? I'm asking because you've written RPF and it's one of many "anti-AO3/anti-AO3 donations" people's favourite things to bring up when they're complaining about AO3 getting so many donations that it continuously obtains an excess of its donation goal whenever donation time rolls around? (Wow, how many times can I say "donation" in an ask?) Sorry if this question bothers you! I don't mean to offend or annoy.

Hey anon! Sorry it took a while to get to this, I don't even know if the drive is still going on, but the question came in while I was traveling and I didn't really have the time for stuff that wasn't travel-related. In any case, let's dig in! (I am not offended, no worries.)

So really there are two issues here and as much as some people who are critical of AO3 want to conflate them, they are different. While some criticism of AO3 may be valid, rhetoric against AO3 tends to misinterpret both in separate ways.

First there's the issue of what AO3 hosts -- RPF, yes, but more broadly, varied content that some people find distasteful or think should be illegal, which is a misunderstanding of the purpose of the archive and more broadly a dangerous attitude towards the concept of freedom of expression.

Second, there's the issue of AO3 generally outpacing its fundraising goals while not allowing monetization, which is a misunderstanding of the legal status of AO3 and to an extent a misunderstanding of philanthropy as a whole.

The longer I watch debates about content go on, the more I come to the conclusion that I was fortunate to have a teacher who really wanted to instill in us an understanding of free speech not as a policy but as an ongoing dialogue. It's not only that freedom of expression "protects you from the government, not the Justin" as the meme goes, but also that freedom of expression is not a static thing. It's an ongoing process of identifying what we find harmful in society and what we want to do about it.

Should the freedom to shout "Fire!" in a crowded theater be restricted? Should the freedom to yell slurs at drag performers? Should the freedom to teach prepubescent kids about gender, sexuality, and/or safe sex? Should the freedom to wear a leather puppy hood at Pride? Who gets to say, and why?

I was nine when my teacher did a unit on freedom of speech and the intersection of "harm prevention" and "censorship", which is (and should be) a discussion, not a set of ironclad rules. This ambiguity has thus been with me for over thirty years, and I'm comfortable with the ambiguity, with the process; I'm not sure a lot of people critical of AO3's content truly are. Perhaps some can't be, especially those affected by hate speech, but RPF is not hate speech. It's just fiction. Or is fiction "just fiction"? This is a question society as a whole is grappling with, although fandom seems to be a little out ahead of society in terms of how explicitly we discuss it.

The idea that prose can incite violence or cause harm is both valid to examine (witness the rise of fascism on the radio in the 20s, on Facebook and Twitter in the past ten years; they're very similar processes) and a very slippery slope. Because again: who decides what harm is, and what causes it, and what we do about it? Our values align us with certain beliefs, but those are only our values, not universal truths. So AO3 is part of the ongoing question of harm and benefit both to society and individuals.

AO3 itself, however, has a fairly defined policy that it is not meant to police content; it is an archive, not a bookstore or a school board. AO3 refines its TOS and policies as necessary, but the goal is always open access and as much freedom of expression as possible, and if that's uncomfortable for some people then that's a discussion we have to have; ignoring it won't make it go away. But it has to be a discussion, it can't be a unilateral change to the archive's TOS or a series of snaps and clapbacks, and I don't see a lot of people ready to move beyond flinging insults. Perhaps because they were taught a much more binary view of freedom of expression than I was.

So, self-evidently, I support AO3 and I don't have a problem with RPF. Whether other people do is something we're going to have to get to grips with, and that's likely to be a process that is still going on when most of us are dust. I'd rather have a century of ambiguity than a wrong answer tomorrow, anyway.

But whether AO3 hosts RPF is truly a separate issue from its donation drives, because it's a criticism some people level at the site which exists whether it's fundraising or not. So people can criticize AO3's open policy and they can give it as a reason not to support the site, but it's just one aspect of the archive and the fundraising as a whole should be examined separately.

I think AO3's fundraisers are deeply misunderstood (sometimes on purpose) because even people who are anticapitalist get a little crazy when money gets involved, and this is, to fandom, a lot of money -- a few hundred thousand, reliably, every fundraiser. To me, a fundraiser that pulls in three hundred grand is almost quaint; my current nonprofit pulls in better than ten million a year and my previous employer had an endowment of several billion dollars. At my old job I didn't even bother researching people who couldn't give us a hundred grand.

On the other hand, AO3 is an extreme and astounding outlier in the nonprofit world, because basically it's the only one of its kind to work the way it does. It is entirely volunteer-run on the operational side (ie: tag wranglers, coders, lawyers, etc) and has no fundraising staff (gift officers, researchers, outreach officers) as far as I'm aware. To pull in three hundred grand from individual one-time donations, without any paid staff and without even a volunteer fundraising officer? That's insane. That doesn't happen. Except at AO3.

What people misunderstand, however, is the basic status of a nonprofit, which is a legal status, not simply a social one. (I'm adding in some corrections here since it gets complicated and the terminology can be important!) The Organization for Transformative Works, the parent of AO3, is a nonprofit, which indicates how it was incorporated as an organization; additionally it is registered federally as tax-exempt, which carries certain perks, like not paying sales tax, and certain duties, like making their financials transparent to a certain extent. (Religious nonprofits are exempt from the transparency requirement.) If you're interested in more about nonprofits and tax-exempt status a reader dropped a great article here.

Nonprofits, unlike for-profit companies, cannot pay a share of their income to stakeholders. Nonprofits don't have financial stakeholders, only donors. They can have employees and pay them a salary -- that's me, for example -- but if a nonprofit pulls in $10M in donations, my salary is paid from that, I don't get a percentage and nobody else does either. That's what it means to be a nonprofit -- the money above operational costs goes back into the organization. The donations we (and AO3) receive must be plowed under and used for outreach, server maintenance, further fundraising, services expansion, et cetera. You can see this in the 990 forms on Guidestar or ProPublica, or in their more accessible breakdowns on Charity Navigator. Nonprofits that do not put the majority of their income towards service provision tend to get audited and lose their nonprofit status. So nobody's getting paid from all that money, and the overage that isn't spent goes into what is basically a savings account in the name of the nonprofit. (I'm vastly simplifying but that's the gist.) Using that money for personal purposes is illegal. It's called "private inurement" and there's a good article here about it. The money belongs to the OTW as a concept, not to anyone in or of the OTW.

So the biggest misunderstanding that I see in people who are mad at AO3 fundraisers is that "they" are getting all this money (who "they" are is never clearly stated but I'm pretty sure people think @astolat has a special wifi router that runs on burning hundred dollar bills) while "we" can't monetize our fanfic. But "they" get nothing -- nobody even earns a salary from AO3 -- and you can easily prove that by looking at the 990 forms they file with the government, which are required to be made public. You can see the most recently available 990, from 2020, here at Guidestar. Page seven will show you the "highest compensated" employees, all of whom are earning zero dollars or nonmonetary perks (that's the three columns on the right).

Either AO3 is entirely volunteer-run or someone's Doing A Real Fraud. The money the OTW spends is documented (that's page 10 and 11 primarily) and while they may pay for, say, the travel and lodging expenses of a lawyer going to DC to defend a freedom-of-expression case, they don't pay the lawyer for their time, or give them a cut of the income.

Despite what you've read, the reason "we" can't monetize our fanfics on AO3 has nothing to do with the site being the product of volunteer handiwork or AO3 having it in their terms of service or it being considered gauche by some to do so; it's because

IT'S ILLEGAL.

I cannot say this loudly enough: It is against the law for a nonprofit to be used by its staff, volunteers, or beneficiaries to earn direct profit from the services provided by the nonprofit.

You can be paid to work at one, but you cannot side-hustle by selling your handmade friendship bracelets for personal gain on the nonprofit's website. If the nonprofit knowingly allows monetization of its services, it can lose nonprofit status, be fined, be hit with back taxes, and a lot of other unpleasant bullshit can go down, including prosecution of those involved for fraud. If you put a ko-fi link on your fanfic, you are breaking the law, and if AO3 allows it, they are too.

Okay, that was a sidebar, but in some ways not, because it gets to the heart of the real complaints about AO3 fundraising, which is that people in fandom are sick or unhoused or in some form of need and other people in fandom are giving to AO3, a fan site that is financially stable, instead of giving to peoples' gofundmes or dropping money in their Ko-Fi or Paypal. And while it is a legitimate grievance that there are people who are in such desperate need while we live in an era of unprecedented abundance, that's not AO3's fault. AO3 doesn't solicit actively, there's no unasked-for mailings or calls from a gift officer. They just put a banner up on their website, and people give. (Again, this is incredibly outlier behavior in the nonprofit world, I'd do a case study on it but the conclusion would just be "shit's real, yo.") You might as well be mad that people give to their local food bank instead of someone's ko-fi.

You cannot lay at AO3's feet the fact that people want to give to AO3 instead of to your fundraiser. That's a choice individuals have made, and while you can engage with them in terms of why they made the philanthropic choices they did, to blame an organization they supported rather than the person who made the choice to give is not only incorrect but futile, and unlikely to win anyone over to supporting you. We know from research that guilt is not a tremendous motivator of philanthropy.

It is also not necessarily a binary choice; just because AO3 gets a hundred grand in $5 donations doesn't mean most of the people giving don't also give $5 elsewhere. I support the OTW on occasion, and I also fundraise for UNICEF and the Chicago Parks Foundation and BAGLY and others, in addition to giving monthly to several nonprofits that I have longterm relationships with -- my alma mater, the animal rescue where I got the Cryptids, my shul. And I give, occasionally and anonymously, to fundraisers that pass through Radio Free Monday, which are mainly individuals in need, because I was once in need and now I pay it forward. These are the choices I have made. Nobody twisted my arm. I respond poorly to someone making the attempt to do so by attacking places I've given.

I think the upshot is, after all of this that I've written, that we cannot begin to come to grips with questions of institutional inequality in philanthropy, or freedom of expression and censorship, until people actually understand what's going on, and too few do. So all I can do is try and explain, and hopefully create a forum for people to learn and grow when it comes to charitable giving.

Archive Of Our Own and the Organization for Transformative Works are products of our community and as that community changes, we will necessarily continue to re-evaluate what aspects of it mean and how AO3/OTW express the community sentiment. I hope that the ongoing discussion of support for AO3 also leads to people learning more about their philanthropic options. But criticizing AO3 for fundraising by attacking it for fulfilling one of its stated purposes is silly, and attempting to guilt people into giving in the ways one thinks they should give rather than how they do give is just going to make one extremely unlikable.

As members of this community, we have to be a part of the push and pull, but it's difficult to do that competently in ignorance. So, I do my best to be knowledgeable and to educate my readers, and I hope others will do the same.

#ao3 #otw #nonprofit #fundraisers #ao3 nonprofit #that's my new tag for posts like this #if anyone has any of the earlier posts I've done drop a comment in them so I see the post and can tag it #archive

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conarcoin · 2 years

Text

So Elon bought Twitter. I'm honestly not gonna push away Twitter newcomers, but if you're in the MCYT fandom you need to understand that the social etiquette and expectations and culture here are very different than over on Twitter. So as someone who's been an active part of mcytblr for two years now, I'd like to offer some thoughts and advice!

One: Shipping. MCYT communities on Tumblr have always tended to lean more tolerant towards shipping of roleplay characters due to the idea that this is a space for fans primarily. The creators who visit or actively use Tumblr like Eret and Martyn understand that this is a fan space primarily, and don't bother us for the content we make, and we don't bother them with it.

The number one worst thing you could do is share shipping content with creators who have not asked for it. This is a huge social faux pas here. Secondly, on the other end — writing callout posts for shippers here isn't gonna fly. Even for RPF shippers and people who may ship boundary-breaking pairings, our default is usually to not engage with these people rather than publicly call them out. It makes the space a healthier place for everyone and makes it much less likely that CCs may come across content they are uncomfortable with. It's also considered a social faux pas to ask CCs their opinions and boundaries on shipping, since that's bringing it up when they didn't ask!

Speaking of shipping, people typically don't mind you maintagging ship content so long as you also tag it as shipping so people can filter it. For Hermitcraft the tag is hermitshipping, Life Series has trafficshipping, and the lesser known DSMP tag is dsmpshipping.

Two: Reblogging. This is something a lot of newer users tend to struggle with. There is no algorithm on Tumblr, at least not one that works, so content creators rely on you reblogging their work in order for it to spread. If you see a fic or piece of art you enjoy, please reblog it! I often reblog art for MCYT fandoms I'm not even personally in.

Three: Tagging (again). There are a wide variety of tags you can use for your content! The most common tags you'll want to use are "mcyt" and "mcytblr", and any relevant series, pairing/group or character/CC names. However, please don't use the tag "minecraft"! Minecraft has an entirely separate fanbase on Tumblr that we co-exist with and have some overlap with, but don't necessarily appreciate seeing MCYT content in their tags. Any tag with "minecraft" in it is also a no-no, such as "minecraft youtubers" or "minecraft championships". Please use shorthands!

Four: Opinions on MCYT drama tend to be very different here than they are on Twitter. For instance, you should assume by default that most bloggers here either like or are completely neutral towards "problematic CCs" like Schlatt. But also, we tend to be very against spreading anything originating from leakers, and we also tend to not be fond of making posts "holding CCs accountable" for things they did years ago. Generally, mcytblr prefers to be a more drama-free community, and if you do engage in discourse, many would appreciate you tagging it as such!

Five: CCs do not need you to babysit them.

Generally speaking you will see a lot of jokes and memes on mcytblr that wouldn't fly on Twitter, and it is generally looked down upon to try to speak on behalf of CCs personal boundaries — they are grown adults, and you are a stranger! Calling out or harassing people for "breaking boundaries" is mostly just going to get you looked at strangely, especially if you don't have a source for your claims. Most of us will stop doing something if asked, but we don't need stans to tell us to! CCs can speak for themselves when uncomfortable.

Six: Most mcytblr blogs don't want CC notices. There are quite a few CCs who are active here, but the community is chill with them as they don't tend to talk about us elsewhere and allow us to do our own thing. We do not, however, like encouraging CCs to join Tumblr or to follow us or reblog our posts — many people here actually prefer being out of sight of CCs and many of us consider it rude to seek out attention from CCs outside of sending the occasional ask.

Please treat CCs kindly and don't gawk at them like you just saw a celebrity on the street — the ones who are active here are just Tumblr users like the rest of you! Seeing Eret reblog fanart or respond to an ask isn't something to point out.

While we joke about Twitter users joining, we don't actually have anything against you guys, it's just that we've built a very different community here and ask that you respect it and the etiquette we've come to establish! Thank you, and I hope you enjoy your stay on mcytblr ^_^

#long post #ok to rb #mcyt #mcytblr

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formulapai · 4 months

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YOU’RE PURR-FECT FOR ME !

scenario: how some of the grid would deal with a cat-obsessed lover

warnings: cat scratches, blood due to scratches, biting, overall just kitty shenanigans

pai’s words: grew up surrounded by cats (and even now, meet Sushi my kitty baby and her VERY BIG FANGS in the first pic !) (she has a teeth condition so her fangs just grow and grow and we have to take her to the vet so they can trim them sksksksk still lives a wonderful life don’t worry) so i have a particular spot in my heart for them 🫶

MAX🍊

- CAT DAD

- jimmy and sassy are his little menaces and he never shuts up about them

- is very fond of all the cat memes you send him and saves them

- rolls his eyes when you nag at him for punishing the cats, even when they did something they definitely should get punished for (aka just max pointing an accusatory at them and slightly raising his voice)

- wheezed the first time you proposed a cats play date but soon realized you were serious and stopped

- knows he can always count on you to watch over his two menaces when he’s away and always makes sure to thank you profusely

- does the same for you when you’re away and sends you pictures and videos of your cats all day long, even FaceTiming you to show you the damages they decided to do to his apartment

- once you live together he has to physically stop you buying every cute cat furniture you see. no, you don’t need yet another litter box just because this one’s yellow with little flowers. no, your cat’s life won’t be drastically better if their food bowls are heart-shaped.

- in the end, he gives in and drives you to the store because he can’t resist you and your love for cats

ESTEBAN🍊

- sends you random cats pictures and caption them with “us ☺️”

- he sees a cat keychain while traveling? he buys it for you. a shirt with paw prints on it ? he buys it too. a box of cookies with the picture of a cat on it ? yeah, it’s going in his luggage too.

- brings treats for your kitties when he visits you and tells you about the searches he did before buying them

- responsible cat dad in law

- smiles SO BRIGHT when you send him videos of the little monsters before his races, it really pumps him up

- is the one sending you shopping ideas for cat furniture and gladly takes you to the store or orders for you

- posts them all over his social medias

- one time, one of your cats bit him pretty deep in the calf and he spent ten minutes trying to free his leg from the murder fangs

- never told you about it because 1) his pride suffered because of the fact that a CAT defeated him 2) he cares about Mr.Chonk and doesn’t want you punishing him

PIERRE🍊

- said many times that he much prefers dogs but deep down, he loves the balls of fur

- annoys them all the time and complains when his arms look like scratching posts

- gives them the dumbest nicknames and laughs his ass off when you complain about it

- the first thing he buys when he goes grocery shopping before coming to your place is cat food, so much that you have cupboards full of it but don’t have the heart to tell him as you know it’s his way of taking care of them

- your cats adore him when he’s not being a pain in their backside

- locks them out of the bedroom and makes fun of you for giving in and letting them inside after they meowed on the other side of the door

- scolds them like he’d scold kids and tells them off about their attitude when he notices their ears going on airplane mode, scolds you too when you take their side and coo at them

- sends you tiktoks about cat clothes and orders it because he knows the cats are going to hate it

- movie night turns into him cuddling “his babies” and leaving you sitting on the floor

OSCAR🍊

- grew up with dogs but is a cat person deep down

- snorts when you send him pics of your cats next to pics of him, or the “polite cat Oscar” memes you find on twitter

- never carries them in his arms because he knows they’ll gnaw on him so whenever he has to lift them off the kitchen counter, he puts his hands behind their front legs and lifts them “Simba-in-lion-king style” which has you wheezing

- sighs when he sees that you bought new cat trinkets

- he lets you change his phone screens and widgets to cat pictures and memes because you were bored and already did yours

- complains when you show him the matching pjs you bought with paw prints all over but you catch him wearing them in a FaceTime call

- you once played with your monsters and ended up with little drips of blood all over from scratches and bite marks (accidental, the monsters can get quite into the games) and he panicked

- you heard him scolding the cats after he cleaned you up and took a video of it. you still teases him about it sometimes

LANDO🍊

- is a dog person but also loves your hairy ankle biters

- asks max about how to woo your cats. max just makes fun of him and leaves him to suffer like a real bestie.

- whenever he opens your front door, he knows he has 0.2 seconds to enter and close it before they come running and try to get out. he once let them out and had to run after them in your building stairs

- loves to come up to them when they’re sleeping and pinch their belly to annoy them

- sends you pics of everything cat-related he sees when he travels, as well as pics of real cats

- his jpg account is filled with his little family (you and your cats) and their crimes (the bite marks adorning his legs and you laughing in the background)

- when you move together, the cats know exactly when he starts streaming and run to the room he’s in, causing ruckus and showing the viewers just how little power Lando has over the cuties

- he closes the door once but immediately opens it when he hears a loud thud, one of the cats running straight into the door because it’s never ever closed. the video of him crying in laughter on the floor as the kitty meows in annoyance gets all over social medias and everyone teases him about being a bad cat dad

- takes the tiny menace in his arms when he’s finally able to stop sobbing and shows everyone they’re fine

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fernlessbastard · 9 months

Text

So, what's the deal with this tnt duo art?

I've explained it in my reblog of this post, but I've decided to copy this over to a brand new post as well, because especially with qsmp happening I'm sure we have many newer people here who don't get what's the deal with this piece

Ok so first off: the artist is _olga.exe_ on Instagram (I think also on twitter but i don't use Twitter so you'll have to check that one yourself)

To the best of my understanding this art just came out around June 2021, which was immediately after the first Revivedbur/Quackity interaction. The first two or so months the ship was exclusively seen as a crack ship - I'm not fully certain why, I think it's just that quackbur before wasn't all that known and popular, so it seemed like it came out of nowhere to the majority of the internet (which, it didn't, holy shit, those sluts have been so gay with each other for so long). It also was a time when most people only began realising that ccQuackity was capable of serious lore, which most likely added to how the ship was seen. Even I myself actually was very hesitant to bring it up to my partner, when I began slowly getting into it - of course while simultaneously deluding myself that it's nothing more than a crack ship for me (@octobre-ackedia oh would you look at how we ended up--).

This art was one of the first pieces that were fully serious, and couldn't be construed in any way shape or form as /p, so it got picked up by people on twitter and memed on. Around September 2021 tntblr began reclaiming it (and if I remember correctly we had a boom of posts sharing the original artist about that time).

In this surge of new people beginning to ship those two that's been happening for the past year or so, I need you all to remember that quackbur started off first as a very underground ship that almost no-one spoke of, and then became a crack ship. The header on my blog doesn't come from a "ha ha funny" self deprecating meme. #twquackburshipping was a tag that someone seriously used to tag a post about how Eret commented on some tntduo/r tiktok.

I get how easy it is to forget how anti-mainstream of a ship quackbur used to be (or simply miss that, if you're newer - which, for the record, no shame, I'm happy to see the new faces!), considering ccQuackity's endorsement of it in the last months of dsmp, not to mention what's happening on qsmp, but all those "omg I'm a quackbur shipper ha ha don't hate me ha I'm cringe I know" jokes used to genuinely not be jokes something like 1,5 years ago.

I hope this explains it thoroughly, and to everyone a little bit newer to the ship: welcome! Glad to see you here, remember to have fun, and if you've got any questions, feel free to ask me :]]

#tnt duo #tntblr #tntduo #quackbur #c!quackbur #wilbur soot #quackityhq #wilbur #quackity #dsmp #dream smp #support art #revivedbur #qsmp

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hyuckswoman · 3 months

Text

« i’m so stupid to have believed you when you said you would only take a minute to get ready » your friend hanbin says

the both of you were currently heading towards the gymnasium, actually going to see the basketball match instead of changing your plans last minute like the both of you usually do

« what can I say? a lady must take her time upon preparing herself » you answer slightly shoving your friend as yes, technically he did have every right to complain but he had been doing so for the past half an hour.

« lady my ass, you still look just as ugly » your friend says as you gasp and before you could even respond, somebody had beat you to it

« y/n is not ugly how dare you say that » your friend jaemin (whom you had not seen) accompanied by his 5 friends greeted you

« yea listen to jaemin i am not ugly » you retorted as hanbin just rolled his eyes and sighed

« what brings you here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a game before » jisung asks, curious and lowkey surprised to see you in an athletic vicinity (the man did not think of you as highly athletic you presume)

« some guy tried to ask her out and since she wasn’t down he also asked me to go to the game with her so we’re here now » hanbin replies all too nonchalantly, you’re low key appalled at the twisted version of the events your friend is telling.

« that is quite literally not what happened, the guy you see over there just told me i should come to the game and invite hanbin too » you reply clarifying

« sooo, it’s exactly as hanbin described it » mark said.

you couldn’t have your man think that he has any competition when it comes to you (not that he cares anyway, this is very much a one sided relationship and you know it). but still, upon seeing the five other men nod you truly start to wonder if all of them are just collectively stupid because they’re men or if you’re the one that’s being dense

« OH! you’ll get to meet chenle, he’s been wanting to meet you for awhile- speak of the devil there he is! » your friend jaemin starts then waves at a man that is currently running towards all of you

« you guys actually came -» chenle starts before being cut off by hyuck « yea we did » . while all of the guys sigh and shake their heads you’re snickering as that is 100% a joke you could’ve made yourself, and meeting eyes with your friend hanbin that’s giving you a look that screams ‘this is a joke you could’ve made’ gives you all the reassurance you would need.

the loud noises erupting from the stadium managed to drown out the voices of the friend group in front of you. it isn’t until you hear your name being said that you realize not only where you are but who you’re with

« it’s good to meet you, i was feeling left out as i was the only one who hadn’t met you yet. I wish i could speak more but i need to go back to stretch a bit before the match, talk to you after? » chenle asks, to which you only nod before he scurries back to his team

that’s right, chenle IS a basketball player of course his friends would be there..

« cmon guys, let’s go sit » jeno hurries all of you as he wants to get good seats before ‘the fangirls arrive’ (you secretly thank god the man doesn’t know about your little mark obsession seeing how he feels towards the basketball groupies)

« dude what if during the game a basketball comes flying to your head and your man catches it going like ‘you alright’ tryna rizz you up just like the meme you posted on twitter yesterday » hanbin whispers, still all too loudly for your liking tho

« i beg of you to shut the fuck up the man is quite literally three people away from you » you whisper back slightly pinching his arm as he winces in pain.

you can’t have mark know about your delusions. ever.

and even though the seating system (hanbin, you, jaemin, jisung, mark, haechan and jeno) would make it difficult for mark to hear the whispers you share about him you don’t want to take any chances. you are practically surrounded by his friends after all.

and two hours later the match was done, chenle’s team winning of course and you were heading out when the guys stopped both you and hanbin

« we’re going to celebrate, not sure how yet but you guys wanna join? » jeno asks and hanbin agrees without even caring if you wanted to join them or not. when confronting him the only thing he replied was «what? we’ll probably get free food or drinks outta this, you should thank me ». the audacity of a bitch.

25. the game

previous chapter masterlist next chapter

notes: i'm back with another (written chapter) hope you guys don't mind the written bits cause there are more coming lol (also sorry to user @jising-jisang-jisung i really tried to make mark say it but i couldn't so.. sorry)

also to the anon that requested the jaehyun or huyk fic i am working on that i'm sorry to be so slow i'll try to publish it asap!

as always, requests/reaction/anything are open and appreciated!! hope you guys have/had a lovely day!

taglist (open): @imsiriuslyreal @iscocohere @simpforarmihn @replayenthusiast @lovm4rk @youreintheclubb @polarisjisung @sour-chaos @jising-jisang-jisung @aerivrs @multifandomania @tiddygang2020 @roseangelxfuma @skepvids @morkiee @yangasm @artstaeh @pussyslayerhd @bacons-thighs @bugcattie @leefullsun @jkslvsnella @alethea-moon @marvelahsobx @haechansbbg

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jennifer-jeong · 3 months

Note

hii could i request like a little drabble or headcanons for racer L&DS characters? the idea been eating away in my mind for soooo long😭😭

HELLO ANON THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASK, I SHALL END THE EATING OF YOUR BRAIN (that sounded weird but you get me). I don’t know too much about F1 (my information source is instagram reels where the racers are shitposting) but I’ll try my best to get the memes and thirst correct hehe.

[Fluff + Crack] [Racer!L&DS x Reader] Racer Boyfriend

CONTENT Fluff, crack, gender neutral reader, the boys are F1 racers in cunty jumpsuits, ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

RAFAYEL is your typical babygirl racer man. I swear this is an entire sub population of F1 racers and I love them. He’s ALWAYS winking or kissing at the cameras and looks so zesty when he poses with his hands on his hips (especially because he’s in that tiny jumpsuit). He drives his fans crazy and they make so many edits of him LOL *cue velocity edit of him taking his helmet off. He gets very serious during races though, he’s a top racer, and can get pretty riled up when things go wrong. If you were dating the man, expect to get spoiled and shown off A LOT. He’d protect you from paparazzi and crazy fans but will never stop flexing how pretty you are on his socials. Of course you reciprocate and he thinks its so cute when you make little photo edits of you two with hearts all over them.

ZAYNE is actually kind of a mystery man. He bursts onto the scene with immediate top 3 finishes in all the big races but never takes off his helmet. He’s always calm and only ever really gives a small thumbs up to cameras and nothing more. The mask kink crazies (me) are going feral over this man. His jumpsuit shows off his muscle and his voice is absurdly deep, bro has it all. When he does finally take off his helmet, it’s due to a crash and cracked helmet. The medical team needs to check his head so he has to remove it. He starts trending on twitter after that day. No wonder he hid his face this whole time. If you’re his partner he’d definitely tell you that he only wanted you to see him without the mask. He treats you like a princess, publicly escorting you places and always holding your hand. You cheer him on from the VIP suite at every single race.

XAVIER has been the longest standing champion despite all the hate. Of course he has a lot of fans as well but being in the spotlight so much naturally brings negativity. He purposely acts aloof and stupid to piss off his haters more when he inevitably wins the world cup. Those who really know him though are fully aware that he’s just acting. He’s unbelievably good at the sport and he does it all without breaking a sweat (not literally, like he actually sweats a lot LOL). There's definitely compilations of him breaking character during interviews where he actually says something intelligent or when he accidentally rizzes up his interviewer. If you two were dating it would probably just be a really sweet relationship that all his fans adore. Even the haters would probably think you’re pretty or be jealous. He tried to shield you from bad press and you think it's so cute he cares about you instead of himself in these situations. You of course do all you can to prevent paparazzi from getting to him too but he'll still kiss you in front of them.

Thank you for reading!

|| MASTERLIST <3 ||

#love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace fluff #love and deepspace crack #rafayel x reader #rafayel fluff #rafayel crack #zayne x reader #zayne fluff #zayne crack #xavier x reader #xavier fluff #xavier crack #j's silly ramblings #j's asks

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rqgnarok · 1 year

Note

Hear me out. Jamie’s love for chains x Taylor’s “I want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck”… Just thinking about Jamie wearing reader’s initials😩😩😩 *insert that feral screaming crying throwing up meme*

anon u hit my weak spot with the taylor swift reference i love this request sm

It was a brutal game.

Dani was unfairly sent away with a red in the second half, which gave the other team just enough time to tie against an unorganized Richmond. The end result of 2-2 tasted more like defeat than anything else, both as a player and a fan.

You couldn't even be there for Jamie, away on a work trip that had you cursing and screaming at the game playing on your laptop in a random hotel room. All you wanted was to bring Jamie home and hold him until the sting of the game left his bones, you were worried he might fall into a sulk without you there.

But there were still three more days to your assignment until you were able to come home and you had to settle for a FaceTime call later, watching interviews of the boys in the meantime where they put a brave face for the media and fans.

Jamie, still a little disheveled from the quick shower he took in the locker room smiles a brittle grin at a reporter as he settles in for an interview. He asks them how they've been and talks praises about his teammates and coaches despite the results. You reach a hand to trace the shape of his face on your screen, his cheeks and mouth, and the bridge of his nose when something catches your attention.

It's a simple golden chain hanging loosely against Jamie's chest. You frown, trying to recognize it from the jewelry he usually wears. Your boyfriend's taste was usually something flashier- fashion statements that people talked about on Twitter usually as either a hit or a miss, nothing in between, but you can't place ever seeing this one before.

He fiddles with it, not a nervous tic but rather a comforting one, and you see some tension melt from his frame when he comes in contact with the pendant that hangs from the chain.

A pendant with your initial.

Warmth washes over you as soon as realization does and the feeling of homesickness increases tenfold. You have no idea when Jamie got that, let alone why he didn't tell you about it, but you can take a guess.

He's shy, Jamie fucking Tartt, bashful and sweet when in love despite the cool appearances he keeps for the media and, less and less these days, his teammates. It feels like a privilege whenever he lets you see those wholesome parts of him: when he picks you up from work with flowers just because or when he cries at weddings and you have to sneak him tissues during the vows.

He's so good and he's yours- and this subtle but meaningful display of affection answers something that wasn't even a question. You're his, completely and irrevocably.

Hey handsome you text him, unable to wipe the smile from your features. You can't bring yourself to make fun of him about this, even asking him about it feels like breaching a limit he quietly placed for himself, so you don't. You up for a call later when you get home?

His response comes less than ten minutes later, the interview over. You imagine him cooped up in his scar, face illuminated only by your text thread, biting his lip in concentration as he types a response but a smile peeking out, cheeky.

can u talk now? we can chat on the way

cant wait to hear ur voice

Your smile widens as you press the call button.

#jamie tartt x reader #ted lasso #the way i ADORE HIM #tysm for this anon #anon ask #leo writes

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anna-the-undertaker · 1 year

Text

Rebirth

"Human DNA contains all the necessary genes to produce feathers - it's merely a matter of selective activation."

I may have gone a little overboard with this, but I saw this on a Twitter meme, and it got me thinking:

The human body readily responds to changing environmental stresses in a variety of biological and cultural ways. We can acclimatize to a wide range of temperature and humidity. When traveling to high altitudes, our bodies adjust so that our cells still receive sufficient oxygen. We also are constantly responding in physiological ways to internal and external stresses such as bacterial and viral infections, air and water pollution, dietary imbalance, and overcrowding. This ability to rapidly adapt to varying environmental conditions has made it possible for us to survive in most regions of the world. We live successfully in humid tropical forests, harsh deserts, arctic wastelands, and even densely populated cities with considerable amounts of pollution. Most other animal and plant species are restricted to one or relatively few environments by their more limited adaptability.

When an environmental stress is constant and lasts for many generations, successful adaptation may develop through biological evolution. Those individuals who inherit a trait that offers an advantage in responding to particular stresses are more likely to survive longer and pass on more of their genes to the next generation.

Genetic change in response to environmental stresses usually takes many generations to become widespread in a population. Fortunately, we also have other ways of responding more quickly as individuals during our own lifetime. The word adjustments is used here to refer to these shorter term physiological changes that are not inheritable. The word adaptations is reserved for inheritable genetic changes developed in a population over a long period of time.

One of the more powerful types of adjustments to environmental stresses is a change in growth patterns and development. This occurs in childhood and typically results in anatomical and/or physiological changes that are mostly irreversible in adulthood. Such permanent changes are referred to as developmental adjustment or developmental acclimatization.

This led me down a rabbit hole on how a human would be affected while in contact with the Devildom and its inhabitants and how MC differs from them. Excluding Solomon as his circumstances are much more complex.

For a normal human, the risks from exposure are mainly focused on their psyche, as the brothers' sins bleed from them almost uncontrollably, and its mostly the same for other demons in the Devildom and the Devildom itself. So, as long as the human stays vigilant, they would be able to scrape by with only minor affects from the exposure. Their bodies wouldn't change, and even if they did, it wouldn't be apparent in them, but in their offspring and further descendents.

MC, however, is not a normal human. For the most part, they are immune to the affects of the sins due to their angelic heritage. But I can imagine that there would still be some results from being near them long term.

Human beings are imitative generalists. We can immediately imitate a wide range of behaviors with great facility, whether they be vocal maneuvers, body postures, or actions on objects.

So it's likely that MC would eventually start imitating some of the brothers' habits after so long. And in so duing, succumbing, more often than not, to their sins, changing them even more than before.

Which brings me to this:

MC, after being in the Devildom for so long and in contact with all these supernatural beings, begins to adapt to the environment due to their angelic heritage, exposure to magic, and close proximity to the brothers, along with their pacts.

As time passes, they begin to feel a slight change in their back and skull. They can feel the skin begin to stretch, an itch they can't seem to be free of. An ache settles there as their bones begin to change, and large lumps form there, the skin turning a bright red due to irritation.

Their diet changes, too. Foods they weren't able to eat before because of nasty side affects from human consumption no longer ail them. They become much more tempting.

Strong magic no longer makes them feel sick. Before, long exposure made their pulse quicken, head throb, stomach churn, and now its barely even a tickle. A slight sensation, like a puff of breath against their skin.

Their physical strength becomes much stronger. They break things with much more ease now. Pencils, toothbrushes, cups. All things that are imprented into their muscle memory become much harder to use. Things that were supposed to be too heavy for humans feel much lighter.

The others don't seem to notice. Assuming MCs discomfort is due to them being a human in their habitat. Neither Solomon nor the angels notice either for the same reason. Diavolo and Barbatos are the same.

They continue to do as they have done from the start. Bringing MC small comforts to help them survive. Basic necessities that humans require. They make sure that the sun lamp in MC's room stays functioning. They have human foods in stock. Medication should MC need it. All of their needs and wants are met with utmost care from the beings that love them so deeply.

MC says nothing and hides it, becoming more distant. Confused and trying to convince themself that this is but a passing thing. Its not the first time something weird or painful has happened to them in all their years being in the devildom.

That is until a blood curdling scream rips through the HoL in the middle of the night, a painful sound akin to that of a banshee, snatching all the inhabitants away from what occupied their attention.

They know that voice and are all scrambling to get to them.

Mammon arrives first, already in his demon form, being the quickest of the brothers and bursts through MCs door with no regard to the fact that he turned it to splinters. He is snarling, ready to protect MC, but the scene before him makes him freeze.

MC is on the floor, on their hands and knees. Eyes screwed shut as their face twists with excruciating pain. More screams pushing past their lips, each one with more ferocity. Their covers had been pulled along with them as if they had fallen out of bed.

The smell of blood hits him like a punch to the gut. MC was covered in it. Their sleep shirt drenched in the red liquid. Its slides down their face with no intention slowing.

It brings back awful memories that he never wants to remember. Their body cradled in his arms as he pleaded for them to stay awake and stay with him after Belphie threw them over the railing.

The ringing of their screams in his ears shakes him out of his stuper, and he is at their side in seconds, his hands hovering over them, unsure whether or not he should touch them since they look to be in so much pain.

He has no idea what to do, and before he knows it, he's sobbing. Screaming for his older brother.

"Lucifer! Lucifer, help!"

The eldest was a blur of black as he rushed in. His wings and horns on full display. His red eyes practically bulging from their sockets at what he found. But he was quick to hide it.

"What happened?!" He snapped.

Mammons mouth worked to form words but could barely get them out between his sobbing breathes, "I-I don't... I found them like this and..."

There was no histation in Lucifers stride as he dropped down to one knee next to them. His hand came to softly rest on MCs shoulder to get them to look at him, but her scream of pain at the contact made him jerk it away. He gently cradled their face after that and noticed that their skin was hotter than humans should ever be. He knew enough to know that if they didn't act fast, MCs organs would begin shutting down. However, the eldest was not adept in the knowledge of human physiology and was internally berating himself for it.

"Satan!" He yelled.

The fourth born was already hot on their heels before his name could leave the mans mouth, with the rest of them not far behind.

Deja Vu for all of them. Reliving that fateful night from years long passed.

The blondes eyes scrunched together as he ran to them, leaving the others to stare in horror from the doorway.

"Their temperature is too high. We need to cool them off somehow." Lucifer said, his fist balled at his side, knuckles white from fighting off his pride and his worry.

"We need to get them into an ice bath," Satan said, the back of his hand gently lingering on MCs cheek, but when the others made no attempt to move, he snapped. "NOW!"

They scattered, but Lucifer and Mammon remained.

"We need to stop the bleeding too," he continued. "With their temperature so high, medication won't work. Their body will burn it off before it can help."

Satans voice softened, "MC, we need to see where the blood is coming from. Where does it hurt?"

MCs chest heaved, their breathes coming sharp and fast, "b-back.... he-head"

"I'm going to remove your shirt, okay?"

Satan nodded for Lucifer to begin examining their head while he began ripping away the shirt as gently as possible, paying little mind to MCs exposed form.

Satans breath stopped at what he saw, eyes wide. Six jagged tears lined their spine. Hollowed bones petruding through the exposed muscle. Strips of flesh hung over their sides, and each breath they took seemed to tear at it more.

Lucifers reaction was the same. The skin on MCs forehead had split, leaving bleached white mounds of bone in its wake. And when he looked up to see Satans face twisted with emotion, his eyes fell to the mangled flex.

Mammons sobbing intensified at the sight. What are they supposed to do? None of this was right. What is happening to MC? Why? Why, why, why, why, why, why?

MCs screams returned, and they fell to the floor in agony, reaching out to the men in front of them and latching on to them. The muscles in their back flexed, and the hollow bones pushed out further.

Asmo reapeared, "Its ready-" he gasped. His eyes fell to MCs crumbled form, and his hands covered his mouth just as Levi, Beel, and Belphie arrived.

Levi was already crying. Worrying over his best friend. But now it was so much worse. What was happening? How is he supposed to help? He wants to desperately, but has no idea what to do.

Beel was the same. He's hates seeing the people he loves more than anything in so much pain. His strength has no use in this situation, and it pains him. This is not a battle he can win.

Belphie is still as a statue. His mind racing, feet frozen in place, unable to look away. Was this what my brothers felt that time? This fear that seeps into his stomach is the same fear and agony that he felt when Lilith died. Not again, not again, not again.

"MC can you stand?" Lucifer asks.

"No," MC wailed. "Hurts too much.... can't move. Please make it stop! I can't-"

Their screams turned to agonizing sobs.

"Belphie, we need you to put them to sleep." Lucifer commanded.

Belphie did not move. He barely heard him speak.

"Belphie!" Mammon yelled.

He still did not move. Caught in the well of his own misery and regret.

MCs voice broke through, "Belphie, please!"

Belphie was shoved forward by Levi before his feet began to move on their own. Hesitant hands reached for MC, his thumbs brushing over their eyelids until they closed completely, and they fell limp into Lucifers arms.

Lucifer called Diavolo to let him know of the situation. They did their best to keep everything in order while waiting on MC to recover. Weeks passed, and the Prince and Barbatos began to visit the HoL daily to check on MCs progress.

They treated MCs wounds as best they could, even bringing Simeon and Solomon to try and help as well, with Luke sending baked treats he made for MC. The angels magic did little to help as the bones would tear the wound open anew as it continued to grow even larger with flesh new beginning to form around it.

None of them had ever seen this before. Even Solomon was at a loss. Angelic healing magic was the strongest in all three realms, and it wasn't working. Human medicine wasn't helping, and neither was demonic magic. So, the sorcerer turned to experiments and research. Pilfering through all his old tomes and notes. Taking viles of MCs blood for testing. Satan helped him with his search as well, staying awake for days on end.

Weeks turned to months, and Belphie took to staying in MCs room in order to keep them in a state of comatose to help them endure the pain, only allowing them to be awake to eat whatever food his twin brought for them. Beel had taken to being their bodyguard when the others weren't around.

Mammon came and went. Bringing with him items he believed might make MC feel better, but he wouldn't stay for long. It hurt him too much to see MC in this state. While he was away, he spent his time searching, bribing, and threatening others to find a solution. Witches or other demons, it made no difference to him. He would pay any price.

For a while, Levi stayed locked up in his room. Feeling as though he would just get in the way. But it wasn't long before he couldn't stand not having his best friend there with him. So he began visiting them, even when they weren't awake. Talking to their sleeping form about whatever game or anime he was currently fixated on until his rambling turned to pleading for them to get better.

Asmo had declared himself MC's nurse. Washing their hair and body, cleaning their wounds, and using special creams and oinments to help with swelling and scarring. He could often be found sitting by their bed holding their hand in his lap as he whispered compliments to them. His smile unaltering even if it never reached his eyes.

Lucifer came late in the night, letting Belphie and Beel leave to get true rest, and he would just sit in silence as he watched their breaths rise and fall. And when he knew he was completely alone, his back would bow with the weight of his pain, shoulders sagging under the pressure. His fist would fly to his hair, strands coming loose as he pulled. Tears would well up in his eyes. Was this Fathers doing? Was he punishing you as he had done to us? Was he truly so petty to put you through all this pain? His tears would stop as soon as the twins returned, and he would stand, his spine rigid and head held high before turning to leave himself.

This all became a routine until MC's wings and horns stopped growing.

Their wings were massive, comparable to Lucifers, and pitch black, the tips white on the underside like those of Black Vultures from the Human Realm.

Their horns were smooth like polished crystal as they curved up and around the crown of their head like a halo, the ends bent upward. Black at the base and fading to white as they went.

Finally, they found the answer thanks to Solomon.

The Sorcerer had come to the HoL, exhausted and worse for wear, but with a triumphant smile on his face. Satan, Diavolo, Barbatos, and Simeon followed close behind.

He gathered them all in MCs room, where they still slept.

"So what's wrong with em'?" Mammon squawked, impatient as ever.

"There is nothing wrong with them. Not truly. In simple terms, MC has evolved. They are no longer human." Solomon answered plainly.

"So they are a demon now?" Beel asked.

"That's the intriguing part, No. After running multiple tests, I could find no trace of the human genome or anything connected to demons or angels in their blood. From what I can gather, the genes from their angelic heritage were domant before being activated by their experiences here in the Devildom. Their body evolved to survive. Normally, these new genes would be passed on to their descendents much later, but due to their peculiar circumstances and the power they have aquired, the process was excelerated. MC is no longer human and neither demon nor angel. They have become something new."

"Would they be comparable to a Nephilim or Cambion?" Diavolo asked.

"I don't know. All we can do is wait and see. But I do not believe they will pose a danger. If anything, this cements them as a connection to all three realms. Having been born a human with angelic blood and their relationships with all of you and pacts with the brothers, they might well be your greatest asset to create the peace you have been working so diligently for."

They all turned to look at MCs sleeping form.

"Then what are we waiting for, huh? Let's wake em' up!" Mammon exclaimed.

Lucifer looked over to Diavolo and received a warm smile and a nod.

With them all gathered around Belphie lifted his magic and MC stirred.

Their eyes blinked open, and they were greeted with new life.

Drawing reference to MCs new form. Science Overview

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me mc #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me luke

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good-chimes · 1 year

Text

In honor of Life series four, Life Series Bake Off AU

NEW SERIES LAUNCHES:

Nation charmed by fresh crop of 12 amateur bakers including intensely competitive student GRIAN, ambitious cake artists BDUBS and SCAR, scientific bread experts TANGO and IMPULSE, and ETHO who has no discernible social media presence and, rumor has it, doesn’t officially exist. Married couple JOEL and LIZZIE raise eyebrows—will they be able to compete against each other?—but this is settled when Lizzie immediately announces she would murder Joel in real life to win and has bought the kitchen knife set for it, and Joel lovingly declares he keeps an axe under his pillow in case this happens.

The judges as usual are renowned cake chef PEARL, bread expert MUMBO, and our two inimitable presenters: BIGB, beloved by the nation for his gentle reassurances of weeping contestants, and MARTYN whose main contribution is his trademark eyebrow waggles as we find out from the judges who’s in trouble this week.

TART WEEK (1)

Tart week gets off to a strong start, with contestant REN charming both the judges and Martyn with his exquisite tarte au citron and his total inability to let a double-entendre go to waste (‘I’m just a tart triumph all over’ he proclaims, to Martyn’s immediate delighted riposte ‘Mm, but what do you do on the weekends?’). Law student JIMMY is not so lucky when a misreading of the recipe leads to ten times the correct amount of butter and a catastrophic oven meltdown. Star baker goes to early favorite BDUBS for an exquisite three-tier tart showstopper.

Week one elimination is, of course, the hapless Jimmy, and the recaps are united on two fronts: it's always nice to see someone on the show who reminds you of your own midnight experiments, but holy shit Jimmy, did it not give you a clue when the melted butter started pouring out of the oven like you’d stabbed the spirit of margarine to death in there. Jimmy's butter meltdown becomes a meme and he sells T-shirts; Joel immediately posts a picture wearing one.

CAKE WEEK (2)

Week two brings cake week and an impressive performance from SCAR, who embarks on a showstopper Baked Alaska in the shape of a snow-covered mountain. Tranquil in the face of GRIAN’S constant disparaging comments about his whisking technique and browned meringue, Scar perseveres and is crowned star baker for the week, while Twitter immediately declares Grian the villain of the season. A contingent of viewers theorising ‘could this be flirting’ are swiftly shouted down on social media and retreat to a dedicated subthread on a cookery forum.

Last week’s star baker BDUBS seems distracted by his new-found friendships with the quiet ETHO, who spends hours on the surprisingly unambitious Victoria Sponge. A conspiracy theory emerges that Etho invented the Victoria Sponge, refuted by weak counterarguments like “cannot possibly be true” and “he would have to be several hundred years old.” Meanwhile the nation is won over by JOEL and LIZZIE’S chemistry as they trade quips and spatulas, unfortunately Joel is eliminated after a jam mishap, at which he declares “at least I went out after Jimmy.”

TEA-TIME WEEK (3)

Tea-time week brings florentines and shortbread, but it’s a sad week for love as REN is out after his overambitious scones fail to impress. “I’m heartbroken,” Martyn announces, and cannot be consoled even by Scott’s superb showstopper petite-fours. Ren was a good sport to the end, everyone agrees. Ren spotted at a Covent Garden coffee shop with Martyn three weeks later.

HALLOWEEN WEEK (4)

The mood is jovial for Halloween week, with judge MUMBO in fake vampire fangs while ETHO bakes cookies in the form of anatomically correct skulls. LIZZIE starts off with adorable witch-hat cupcakes in little witch hats, then spends the rest of the episode precisely and effortlessly crafting a blood red mirror glazed sachertorte which the presenters refuse to look at because it “makes them uncomfortable”, and is subsequently awarded star baker for the most genuine aura of threat ever achieved by a cake.

Meanwhile GRIAN and SCAR continue to genially snipe at each other throughout. TANGO asks BDUBS to turn his oven off at a crucial moment; unfortunately Bdubs forgets and then blames Tango for relying on him, leading to the charred mess of Tango’s showstopper and a social media uproar dubbed “OvenGate”. Bdubs alternately sorrowful and dramatically dismissive. This cruel betrayal knocks Tango out of the tent; a public petition is started for his reinstatement.

WEDDING WEEK (5)

Puppet theater designer CLEO has her star turn in wedding week with ranks of beautiful marzipan figurines on all her bakes. An intense rivalry develops between her and wedding-enthusiast BDUBS, who declares his magnificent fondant confection a dry run for his impending marriage to ETHO, a stranger he met ten days ago. When asked by presenters how much of this is a joke, Etho laughs and says “I guess?”, which leaves the nation none the wiser. Unfortunately IMPULSE’S canapes are considered uninspired and he is uninvited from both the wedding reception and the series.

BREAD WEEK (6)

The feared bread week comes around and all the artistic cake-makers wobble badly. SCAR and GRIAN just scrape through, but CLEO’S triumph last week turns to tragedy despite the trouble she has gone to to model a realistic centaur out of sourdough. Bdubs makes an impromptu speech to camera about how she was robbed but he intends to triumph in her honor.

MEDIEVAL WEEK (7)

The experimental medieval week takes the bakers on an outdoor camping trip where they will attempt to build their own stoves and use them to replicate historical bread techniques. BDUBS’S enthusiasm for this and his drive to impress ETHO turn out to be his downfall as, distracted, he builds a stove that bleeds heat and fails to brown his bread. Etho meanwhile excels at both the survival and breadmaking aspects, leading to a divide on Twitter on whether this level of competence is hot or just very concerning, potentially the cake equivalent of a serial killer. The Victoria Sponge theory is raised again. Etho alleviates some concerns by getting lost three times in an open field over the course of the episode, which loses him enough baking time that dark horse SCOTT pips him to the post of star baker.

WINTER WARMTH WEEK (8)

Week eight arrives and five bakers remain: LIZZIE and SCOTT are known to be good all-rounders, ETHO is the reigning technical expert, SCAR remains the favorite on the cakes side, and GRIAN is mainly known for his habit of constantly sneaking spoonfuls of Scar’s cake mix so he can mock the taste. Social media opinion is divided into “Grian is a good baker actually”, “Grian is only still in because of executive meddling”, and the small but determined contingent of “no guys we really think they’re flirting??” who have emerged from their cookery subthread unbowed and with compilations of video evidence.

The set gets cozy with winter warmth week. Brandy-based showstoppers are the order of the day, and LIZZIE wins the episode by crafting a biscuit unicorn with a mane you can set on fire. ETHO invents an intricate brandy plumbing system to shoot flaming alcohol above his plum pudding—this attempt is in fact a good deal too successful and instead sets MARTYN’S hair on fire. GRIAN comes to his aid but ends up adding more brandy. Judge PEARL extinguishes the flames with a bowl of cinnamon milk. The judges are clearly not feeling merciful when it comes to the scores and Etho’s run comes to a premature end.

DOUBLES WEEK (9)

Some old favorites return for doubles week, where each of the remaining four bakers is helped out by an eliminated contestant on the other end of the phone. GRIAN for once assesses the limits of his own talents and asks to pair up with ETHO, a plan that immediately pays off when the contestants are challenged with a tricky technical that sees them baking the perfect pumpernickel bread. SCAR, having asked to pair up with BDUBS, is quickly underwater as neither of them understand yeast.

Scar’s floundering proves too much for Grian, who belligerently passes along his pumpernickel tips from Etho, saving Scar’s technical enough for him to scrape through. When challenged by Martyn, Grian grudgingly admits, “I just want Scar to stay in, okay?” Some recaps clear him of his villain status; others are still convinced it’s a fluke.

Meanwhile SCOTT turns in an efficient technical with help from CLEO and also JIMMY, who is apparently sitting in Cleo’s living room just to heckle Scott. LIZZIE calls on husband JOEL, but a combination of overconfidence and flirting distracts them both, leading to a burnt crust and Lizzie’s elimination from the final four.

MERINGUE WEEK (Final Episode)

In the finale, SCOTT, SCAR, and GRIAN face off over a series of escalating meringue-based challenges. Whatever alliance sprung up between Grian and Scar in the last episode is clearly water under the bridge as the two of them obsessively steal each other’s ingredients and annoy each other into trivial mistakes. This escalates into a noisy quarrel over the main challenge of the week: an edible diorama of a cactus ring. Scar’s attempts to ‘aesthetically correct’ Grian’s mountain diorama leads to Grian melting his sugar-spun cacti with a crème brulée torch.

The two are no longer speaking by the showstopper, where Grian embarks on a desperate attempt to make up points with an ambitious trifle in a castle-shaped wall of macarons while Scar builds his own grand macaron diorama. The clock ticks down. Scott is creating an impeccable strawberry pavlova. The trifle is going badly. Grian is covered in sugar and regret. BigB pats him reassuringly on the shoulder.

At the last moment, Scar sacrifices half his perfect macarons to donate to Grian’s diorama. Grian, for once lost for words, grabs his apron and kisses him right in front of Martyn’s swiftly-derailed countdown. “Grian had a beautiful artistic vision,” Scar says sentimentally afterwards. “You have to respect the craft!” They snog behind the tasting table. Mumbo gamely attempts to award points. Pearl in a laughing fit behind the cameras. Martyn and BigB solemnly wrap up the shot with Martyn’s best cake-based innuendoes. Grian and Scar do not notice.

Scott wins the series. He got so many more points on the cactus ring technical.

#ethubs #treebark #scarian #zombiecleo #jimmy solidarity #i'm scared to use scott's tag he's on here #for blocking ->#traffic shipping

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bogleech · 10 months

Note

On the topic of anti-predation people: I'm a philosophy major and one of those guys was a speaker invited for this event at my school last semester. He talked about some pretty absurd ideas on giving animals land rights but having human representatives for them segregating the land so that herbivores are never at risk of predation. I tried really hard to understand where he was coming from but eventually he just outright stated what amounted to "individual lives are more important than nature and if taking complete control of nature can stop all suffering it should be done, even if that means killing off all predators via birth control."

I stopped trying to take him seriously after that lmao

If this is brewing into the next big thing I want everyone to go ahead and add this ideology to the "no mercy" list where we put nazis and maps please. I've seen like six of them over on twitter saying we should also bring all human beings "up to date technologically" by force if necessary. Literally they want to be the atheist liberal version of missionaries and get all the world's indigenous people into capitalism and internet memes.

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 3 months

Text

03/06/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast & Crew Sightings; David Jenkins; Kristian Nairn; Ruibo Qian; Fuckeries; Watch Party Polls; Watch Party Reminders; Fan Spotlight; Cast Cards; Pink News; Q+ Magazine; Stats; #ReleaseTheJenkinsCut; Love Notes/Morale; Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika

= Cast & Crew Sightings =

== David Jenkins ==

David popped his head out today with all the Jenkins Cut talk going around. @bbviago thank you for bringing Dad out of hiding!

Our friends at @adoptourcrew captured the fandom reaction pretty well me thinks:

Also too, @skrifores had a really excellent point about how different the interpretations of this were. Which way were you all thinking? Any thoughts?

== Kristian Nairn ==

Remember the book Kristian kept hinting about? It's up for preorder! It comes out Sept 24! Wanna pre-order it? Visit Kristian's Linktr.ee

Src: Kristian Nairn's Instagram

== Ruibo Qian ==

Our pirate queen singing and playing the guitar for us. In addition... there's some clown/honking going on because of the note she added to her Instagram. *Resurrection* with 3 tiny stars, anyone? 👀

Ruibo Qian's Instagram

== Fuckeries ==

Save OFMD Crew is calling out for some help! Please reach uot to businesses, streamers, personalities, etc today to bring in more engagement if you have a few spare minutes!

== More Watch Party Voting! ==

We need you!

Our crew-mate @iamadequate1 implores you to come vote for the final version of the watch party hashtags! They're neck and neck!

Final Short Poppies Watch Party Hashtag Poll

Flight of the Conchords Watch Party Hashtag Poll

== Watch Party Reminders ==

= A League Of Their Own =

Tomorrow the 7th is ALOTO Episodes 6-7, and then OFMD 6-7 Time: 1-4PM EST/6-9PM GMT Where: You can watch ALOTO on Amazon Prime

Watch Party Hashtags:

OurFlagMeansBaseball

ALeagueOfTheirOwn

SaveOFMD

= Mar 4 - Mar 8: Wrecked Season 1 =

Don't have access? DM @iamadequate1 on Twitter or Tumblr

Season 1 watch from March 4th to March 8th.

Times will be 10pm GMT / 5pm EST / 4pm CST / 2pm PST.

Saturday there will be a re-watch for those who need to catch up (time TBD) .

Hashtags:

#WreckedPirates

#SaveOFMD

#RhysDarbyFaction

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards! =

Thank you thank you @melvisik for recognising our dear Gabriel, Nick Kroll! So glad to see some of the actors from just one episode getting some love! Another card to add to the collection!

= Pink News =

I realise that Pink News is an actual news site, but they are joining under the fan spotlight tonight for their continued dedication to #OFMD and quality content/memes.

= Q+ Magazine =

Our friend @spanishjenkies caught Q+ sending some incentive over to Chaos Dad 😉. Just more reasons to love Q+ for their continued support!

== STATS STATS STATS ==

Great News Everyone Looks like Season 1 and 2 are ranking in the top 20 Comedy shows in Germany! WAY TO GO DEUTSCH CREW! Thank you @quirkysubject for the update!!

= @AdoptOurCrew Data Updates! =

== #ReleaseTheJenkinsCut ==

Thank you to @sweet-little-goldfish-stede (@Rowan_ofmd on twitter) for bringing this new hashtag to our attention! #ReleaseTheJenkinsCut is being used not only for fun, but to encourage streamers to #AdoptOurCrew! Please feel free to use it liberally, especially with your favorite BTS scenes! Also, kind thanks are in order for catching Jenkins trending!

== Love Notes / Morale ==

Hey there lovelies! Today had some pretty great excitement going on! Chaos Dad popped his head out, Kristian's book got announced, our Ruibo put out a lovely song for us. All good news! Even though a lot of folks had peaks today, I know some of our crew is still having some troughs, so I wanted to send out a little reminder that it's okay to have bad days. It's okay to not be as excited as everyone else. It's also okay to be excited when others are feeling down. We are all individuals and we all have our unique experiences and struggles we deal with every day.

You don't need to compare your experience to others-- you're allowed to be exactly how you are right now. If you feel down, give yourself a hug, you don't have to come out of it right now if you're not ready, but if you are, there are plenty of things happening to give you some joy.

I was going to save this song for when I wanted to talk a bit about mistakes and dealing with them, but I think it's pretty applicable to any situation where we're feeling down. It helps keep me grounded sometimes when I'm not feeling up for things. Here's just a couple lyrics from: "It's Alright - by Mother Mother"

"It's alright, It's okay, it's alright, it's okay You're not a demon, there's a reason You behaved in that way It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay And I believe, yes I believe that you will see a better day It's alright"

Another lovely note from @spanishjenkies I thought was really important to include tonight-- Jen is right, David didn't say stop :) Remember that whenever you're feeling like the gravy basket is feeling too deep. Chaos Dad is still fighting the good fight in the background and he hasn't told us to throw in the towel.

Goodnight/G'day Lovelies, hope you all get some rest and have a wonderful day tomorrow!

==Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika==

You can blame thank @celluloidbroomcloset for the inability to think after that Darby gif. @ofmd-ann thank you for the reaction gif for all of our brain cells in the form of Taika.

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