#EDIT: I DIDN'T MEAN TO POST THIS HELP?????

[roboticchibitan]

Today I'm going to talk about a form of radical resistance that anyone, no matter their situation, can engage in: cultivating hope.

Are you filled with hopelessness and despair at the state of the world? I have some good news and some bad news.

The bad news is you've fallen for a tool of the status quo. Despair freezes us. It keeps us from imagining and working towards a better world. Despair is easy, because it means we have no reason to take action to make things better. Capitalism? Our oppressors? They want you hopeless for a reason. Because you're easier to control that way.

The good news is! There's a lot of very real reasons for hope. However, hope is something you have to cultivate. It takes work. It is a radical act. It is looking at the status quo and going "actually, no. I refuse."

Maybe you can't risk losing your job to unionize your workplace. Or maybe you're an oppressed minority who can't risk going to protests because our criminal justice system is racist. But cultivating hope in yourself is just as radical an act of resistance as those two things. It is another form of imagining and working towards a better world.

It's not as flashy as starting a union or going to a protest, true. Maybe it feels selfish, like you're only helping yourself. But that's not true. It's a lot harder to help others when you, yourself, are frozen by despair. By working on yourself, you are making it easier for you to help others, in whatever form that takes for you.

For me, since I started my hopepunk practice I have been more able to engage in activism, even if I no longer post about it. Before calls to action froze me. I was so overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of our problems that I was unable to address any of them.

Since I've started cultivating hope in myself, I've unfrozen enough that I was able to choose the causes that matter to me and put my energy there. I engage in more charitable donations and political actions now than I did before. I am happier and also helping others more than I did before.

Cultivating hope in yourself is hard at first. You feel defeated before you even start. But you start putting work in and you find a little hope. And then a little more. And a little more. And then, suddenly. It snowballs and you're doing better than you have in years, and hope comes easier to you now.

If you don't know where to start, go follow @hopepunk-humanity @hope-for-the-planet @afeelgoodblog and @reasonsforhope or follow the hopepunk tag

There's also things like the good news network, who have a daily email they send out with a handful of positive news stories. Some of them I find kinda dumb and shallow like "lost dog returned after 3 years" type stories. But there's also a lot about scientific advancments in green energy, medical care, etc that I find helpful for cultivating hope. Did you know about the CRISPR gene editing tool that's being used to cure incurable illnesses? I didn't! And now I do! afeelgoodblog also runs a substack "best news of last week" newsletter every Monday that I find has stories with more substance, tho it is US focused.

Despair isn't helping anyone, especially not you. Engage in a radical act and start cultivating hope in yourself. You deserve to leave that despair behind, and in the process, you are directly going against the powers that have decided we are easier to control if we are miserable.

#hopepunk

[educatedsimps]

— married atsumu headcanons

≪ back to fics masterlist

↳ timeskip!atsumu x gn!reader ↳ a/n: this man has me in a chokehold no explanation needed anyway enjoy this pure atsumu brainrot

since atsumu wouldn’t be allowed to wear his wedding ring during games he’d wear it on a thin metal chain around his neck

either a silver or gold chain depending on what ring he has

he’d probably keep it under the collar of his jersey tho ‘cause he wouldn’t want it bouncing around everywhere while he plays, or hitting his face when he jumps and runs around

so every time he wins a game, a really difficult point, or a service ace, he’d take it out and place a quick kiss on the ring

he probably also has your initials carved on it

to him, you’re the only lucky charm he needs, but since you can’t be on the court with him every time, his wedding ring will have to do

if you’re in the stands, he’d look over at you while he holds onto his necklace, shooting you that award winning smile of his

sometimes he throws in a wink for good measure

if you’re not physically there watching him, he’ll point to a camera and hold up his ring

sometimes he gets carried away after an exciting point or serve and meian has to tell him to chill and get his head back in the game

but it's really not his fault he's so in love with you

after the game he’ll take his chain and ring out from under his shirt so it can be seen while he takes pictures with his team or when he does post-game interviews

it became a habit soon enough

he also brings you up every. single. chance. he. gets.

with his teammates and in interviews and on his social media he's always like "yeah hard work is one thing but i wouldn't be where i am today without my s/o"

sakusa is probably sick of listening to atsumu ramble on and on about you before during and after practices

you often get texts from kiyoomi saying "y/n come get your man"

anyway, once he’s home, he’ll clean the chain and ring ‘cause “it’s got all ma nasty sweat on it, don't want ma lucky charm to wear out” (idk if that’s how sweat and metal work but wtv)

he also tells you that as important as your wedding rings are to him, nothing will ever replace you as his good luck charm

omg he just loves you so damn much

i feel like at some point he'd probably just get a tattoo of your name on his ring finger especially if there are games / organisers that don't let him wear any jewellery or accessories

and yes he gets pissed if they don't tell him beforehand, and he spends the whole game salty and pokes jabs at the organisers under his breath

his teammates usually take the brunt of his complaints (sorry jackals)

he'll still wear the ring necklace if he's allowed to tho it's like his favourite accessory

anyway he loves you so much and he never stops thinking of you ‘cause he’s just a huge simp

edits:

i think one reason his ring is so special to him (other than the fact that it's his wedding ring) is also because you proposed to him first

but i mean if you didn't, the ring is still really special to him

and even though he's a pro athlete, he still gets nervous from time to time and knowing that a little bit of you is there with him, physically or not, helps calm him down

like he rubs it a little out of nervousness every once in a while

© educatedsimps 2024. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarize any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down. likes and reblogs are appreciated!

#saw a reel of ishikawa #and he was wearing a silver necklace #and i thought of tsumu #naturally #i'm down so bad for this man #i also wrote this in 20min #educated.simps #haikyuu x reader #lyssa.writes #simps.write #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fluff #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu fluff #miya atsumu fluff #timeskip haikyuu #timeskip atsumu

[coffe-and-tea-time]

Hi! The overly happy coffee speaking! I noticed one of my fav yandere accounts like one post of Tea and I'm screaming like a fangirl. I'm fully in a delulu mood so I needed to write this. Editing this I find out more accounts I follow like some posts, I'm feeling shy now.

☁ the sweetest reality nightmare ☁

TW: yandere behavior, delusions, the agony of self-preservation, stalking, obssesion, reader with sleep problems, willing reader, flirty reader x opportunist yandere lol

➤ first part

➤ here to see the other option

He's already at your house, in your room, it's not like you're gonna make it less crazy if you talk to him now, right? And if he is about to kill you, he would do it even if you keep acting.

A smile start creeping in your face, seems like you really can't act like sleeping beauty anymore, huh? 

“Oh, I'm really glad, you seem like you're finally having a good dream… will it be too greedy if I want to be inside that little dream of yours? Well, if you find that greedy, you won't be able to handle me later”

“Oh, I would love to test that, mind showing me a little more of that ‘greedy’ side of you?”

As you open your eyes, you're met with quite the sight, a man with amber hair and golden eyes looking perplexed, his palpable nervousness makes you grow a little soft spot for him already.

“What happened, Love? Cat got your tongue?  What a shame I really wished to hear more from you… oh, now that I recall, I do know you, you're Pin, aren’t you?”

You manage to remember his face, he is a classmate which you never spoke to but caught him staring one or two times which you dismissed as a coincidence.

“I can't believe you didn't scream when you saw me here and you actually remember my name, even calling me by a nickname… did I fall asleep without noticing?”

You can't help but giggle as his antics when he pinched his hand, once he felt the sting his gaze returns to meet yours, you can almost see his eyes shining as he quickly approaches you, literally sitting next to you in the bed as he began to talk, amazed.

“Yes! That's my name, Cherry, oh, you don't mind me calling you Cherry? Ah, me visiting you like this should be more of a problem than that, shouldn't it?”

“If it bothered me, I would’ve screamed and called the police already, and no, I don't mind the little petname but I do have one issue”

You hold a smile as you catch him gulping hard, probably more worried that he has ever been.

“I’m sorry Dear, did I mean any troubles for you? I can fix my mistake, I promise! I just can’t help it but want to see you more”

Even if his words express lament, the lovefool look in his face and the firm grip on your hand betrays his lack of regret for his actions.

“Surely you know by now that I have problems falling asleep, and just now you offered me the ‘perfect medicine’, I hope you are the type to stick to your word”

You watch his face turn into a puzzled expression and then open his mouth to ask until realization hits him… He almost literally jumps into the bed, as if he had done it before.. honestly, probably he did gently pulling you into a warm but tight embrace.

“oh, Dear, you are the one that can't take your words back now”

“I wasn’t planning on it”

“I’m glad to hear that because now I'm going to visit you freely, everytime I want. We can cuddle every night, will you let me cook for you? I swear I already know all your eating habits, although we could improve that eating schedule of yours, I swear I won’t be pushy about it; Can I kiss you good night and good morning? Oh, first we should go on dates to work more on your trust in me! But I will assume hugs are fine since you directly asked me for them. Wait, I can cling to you when we are outside too, right? Right?”

“Pin, you’re speaking way too fast, calm down a little, Dear, but yeah, you can be clingy, this is already comfy enough to forget my annoying insomnia so I can totally get used to this”

He shuffles closer just to snuggle further, you swear you can almost hear him purring as he holds you like you two are a newlywed couple.

“and we can make an agreement on the kiss thing, I’m open for a debate on that”

“I don’t like to repeat myself but now you really can’t take any of your words back, Darling”

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

images from pinterest

#pineapple our oc #Coffee speaking #reader insert #yandere #random #yandere male #yandere imagines #yandere drabble #yandere oc #oc #male yandere #yandere scenarios #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere x you #obsessive love #yandere classmate #otome #yandere x willing reader #stalker #tw stalking #soft yandere #yandere writing #drabble #silly #silly writing #oc x reader #yandere oc x reader #x reader #x you

[thewiz9062]

OK so

@smilingcrittersthingig 's Reborn AU has completely mentally beat my ass for the past 5 hours (compliment) so I'm just gonna. Rant.

THIS DESTROYED ME.

if I was an easy crier I actually wouldn't be typing this cause I'd be inconsolably bawling in my room

I can't even say that they're wrong for hating him, I mean he killed them and I'm not excusing him but GODDAMN I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM AS WELL.

Like ppl joke abt how catnap is so devoted to the prototype but compared to simple "belief" He was PHYSICAL and actually tried to help him escape the hellhole that was playtime co.

(If you're not aware it's either theory or fact (i can't remember) that Theodore [Catnaps soul] had attempted an escape attempt via the help of the prototype and they got DAMN close but Theodore was fatally injured and instead of leaving him there to die the prototype had to go back and let them turn him into catnap.)

The prototype was so adamant on keeping him alive that they went back to their CAPTORS just so he wouldn't die. SHIT, I WOULDVE STARTED WORSHIPPING TOO!!! Even if he didn't make it out they didn't abandon him, so he had full belief that one day, under THEIR order, him and the rest of the critters would leave that place.

So imagine the heartbreaking moment when he realized that his fellow captors, his friends, both in form and mind, don't share the same sentiment, maybe even calling him crazy and violent.

And he just? doesn't know why??? Maybe he can admit the prototypes methods were a bit too confronting but it's not like they didn't TRY the non confrontal method. He thought they'd agree, they'd follow him but it wasn't the case.

So, well, he listened to the prototype. And that included killing his friends, yes, and it's stated (in the au) that he does regret it and I'm crying again great (positive)

And now they're all there, everyone that has either indirectly or directly been killed by him are there and they want him dead now too. AND HES PROBABLY STILL CONFUSED ON WHY THEY EVEN WENT AGAINST HIM AND WANTS TO KNOW. BUT ITS NOT LIKE HE CAN JUST GO ASK THEN THEYD ATTACK HIM PHYSICALLY OR VERBALLY ON SIGHT SO NOW HES S C A R E D OF THEM.

AND YOU CANT BLAME ANYONE BUT PLAYTIME.CO BECAUSE THEYRE ALL VICTIMS HERE. I CANT.

Oh and this.

I THOUGHT IT COULDNT GET ANY SADDER THEN YOU SHOT ME WITH THE DOOMED YAOI. HELL ITS NOT EVEN DOOMED ITS POST-DOOM. E V I L . THE FACT THAT DOGDAY PURELY HATES HIS GUTS AND WANTS HIM GONE AND DEAD THE MOST OUT OF ALL OF THEM IS GONNA KILL ME.

And then to add the final stab through my heart (compliment) I went to scourge for the enemies chart and-

HE HATES HIM SO MUCH! AND CATNAPS THE ONLY ONE OUT OF THE TWO WHO WANTS TO RECONCILE EVEN IF ITS JUST A LITTLE BIT AND WOULD MISS HIM QUITE A BIT WHILE DOGDAY JUST WANTS HIM G O N E . I CANT ANYMORE (I so can I love this)

You so did this to make people depressed for a week, it's working. And I love you for it.

Anyways we love angst in this household please keep it up I'm eating this au up for another 2 weeks buh bye

Edit: I'm so sorry for editing this so much the thoughts won't go away

#poppy playtime #smiling critters #dogday #catnap #smiling critters au #angst #AAAAANGST #IM CRYING BOTH HAPPY AND SAD TEARS AS WE SPEAK #smiling critters reborn au

[crispycreambacon]

🪱 Intro Post: Take 2 🪱

Mellow-Yellow-Welcome to my art blog!

My full name is Chris Pycream Bacon, but you can call me Crispy! Others have bestowed upon me Chris P, Chris, Christopher and Bacon which I very much welcome.

In here you'll find, well, art! Not just from me but from others as well because sharing art is caring. I also sometimes post reviews, opinions or just jamble-tamble-rambles.

You can find me in other places, namely in AO3 where I post my writings and another Tumblr blog where everything is a little less organized and rambley :P

This is an inclusive place, so POC, LGBT+, disabled/neurodivergent and non-Christian people are welcome here!

If you are discriminatory towards any one of these groups or are just a contemptible being, you're getting the boot :}

With that out of the way, you can learn more about me and find my tagging system under the "Keep Reading" section!

I love drawing anything from comics to illustations to OCs to fanart. I just draw whatever my heart desires at the moment. One day, I'd love to be an animator or a comic artist, but I'm open to whatever art career welcomes me with open arms!

Other than visual arts, you can find me indulging in writing, singing, acting, listening to music and yelling about whatever interests me in the moment. I also have two cats named Takoyaki and Sashimi, a dog named Miso, and a dinosaur plush named Dinosara that I adore very much!

I'm a non-binary trans person and am very annoying about it in a silly way :3 I'm also a bisexual aroace in a queerplatonic relationship with the most specialest, most girlypop fish in the world <3 (Arden if you're reading this HI HELLO WELLOW!!!)

Here are a list of tags to keep things organized!

#chris p fried art - My art

#chris p fried rambles - My commentary

#chris p fried writings - My writings

#artists cooking gourmet - Art made by other artists

#chris p fried doo doo - My shitposts

#chris p fried answers - My answers to asks

#people frying stuff - General posts made by other people

#clowns burning the kitchen (affectionate) - Funny posts

#a nice warm soup after a long day - Wholesome posts

#alphabet soup matters - LGBT+ posts

#important - Awareness posts (Can potentially be triggering; view at your own discretion)

I try my best to trigger tag posts. If you'd like anything to be tagged, feel free to shoot me an anonymous ask or a message, and I will do so for you!

Feel free to interact or reach out! I'm not always the best in responding on time, but I do my best :>

Whether you're here for my art, my rambles or just wanna have a chill time with the funny demon, I hope you'll enjoy your stay! ^w^ ~ ☆

#meet the artist #intro post #blog intro #introduction #artists on tumblr #artblr #end of the year post babyyyyyyy #art #digital art #chris p fried art #EDIT: I DIDN'T MEAN TO POST THIS HELP????? #OKAY I GUESS #IT'S PUBLIC NOW LET'S GO 💀💀💀

[unorcadox]

it’s kinda crazy how no matter how much positive feedback i get on my work, there’s one negative comment someone made that’s stuck in my mind like glue

#not edits #it probably doesn't help that it was from a fellow editor i looked up to #the way it unironically has made working on this less fun like. idk i don't even feel like posting my work half the time anymore cuz #idk i sometimes feel like. inadequate abt my art sometimes. like if i didn't have my platform people would be telling me it was shit #and ignoring it lmfao. but also i know that's like irrational? doesn't mean it goes away tho #and i wanna make it clear like this is not me fishing for compliments like. idk i felt like acknowledging it on here cuz i've been just #feeling Down about it without saying anything to anyone and it's just like :/ #wanna try actually talking on here more again so

[angeltism]

just putting it out there if any of my beloveds start an editing event i'm speedmaking my new edit blog. shrug. just. just saying.

#➳ the fool speaks #i didn't do mary's event fully erm. ithink some icons for that are still in my drafts on old-main #....................................i'll just post them as self indulgent stuff for the new edit blog #whenever i make that #um #yeah #this totally isn't bc i literally just saw a certain somebun's follower count that they shared. cough. #i mean like give me a weekend if there ever is an event or something. innocent emoji. so i can set up and prepare my events beforehand #bc otherwise i literally won't do anything help

[dallydaydream]

Seeing posts about what fresh hell the new Tumblr updates hath wrought whem said updates haven't reached you yet is a bit like hearing screams when you're in a horror film

You don't see what's wrong, but you know you will, and you know it's going to suck

#I can still see blog URLs #is them vanishing a mobile thing or is it coming for desktop as well? #it was like this shortly before I got updated to the Twitterlike layout too #on the bright side I have editable tags now #which is an actually helpful update that I like #and means I can copypaste my tags into the NEW version of this post I just had to make #because the ORIGINAL posted on a sideblog for some reason? #I didn't switch to the sideblog to post so I don't understand why? #I'm so tired

[crucible-memes-4-salem-teens]

the foundations of decay (2022) - my chemical romance

guys. fellas. please, hear me out. just for a moment -

#arthur miller #the crucible #classic lit #classic literature #not a meme #listen guys this song has rotted my brain but i have not looked at the lyrics until today. please help #this wouldn't even be posted here if i didn't find the relevancy and go 'oh dear'. so now its here and you must all endure it #of course there is metaphorical and indirect meaning here but shut up the words. #THE WORDS. #anyways. as much as i voice my distaste for abby i will maintain that she is not the villain. she is one of a few antagonists. #disagree all you want but it's true. every character who shows up a significant amount of times is shrouded in shades of moral gray #especially her. she herself is a victim of the society and the paradigm she exists within!!! #nuance babes #i still don't like her but not because i think she's entirely at fault. i don't like her because she uses her vulnerable position to cause #very real problems. #going back to the antagonist thing. if she were the protagonist it'd be way harder to say she is The Villain even as she hurts people #again. still don't like her nor do i condone her actions but god imagine how it felt to be her in this scenario. #that's some life-shattering shit guys. #edit: sorry for being an mcr fucker in public btw. it probably will happen again.

[claire-starsword]

Transcribing all the possible dialogue when you get Oddler and losing it at the localization trying so hard to make Peter sound nicer. Sorry guys that's an A+ grade asshole. My beloved asshole, but an asshole nonetheless.

#shining series #shining force #shining force 2 #sf2 peter #sf2 oddeye #i have mixed feelings about this scene #it feels so weird for a game so linear to decided to give you some options right here #for something that it's still a 'but thou must' moment in the end #on the other hand there's some interesting characterization to grasp at here #peter being so against oddler joining is. very ironic #and it's nice to see oddler being a bit more assertive to protect the villagers #but it sucks that all of this is locked behind two mean decisions that feel out of character for bowie #overall the oddler plot deserved a lot more #a single scene of these three becoming friends would have done so much #also a bit unrelated but. did any of the devils after him considered actually telling him he was a devil #you know it would have helped #edit: damn i just posted this with the website full of typos huh? straight up didn't see any of that shit for days huh

[sonicboomseason3]

a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:

paramount has come out in public support of israel

keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie

james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile

there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???

kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too

this is a complete and utter joke.

EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]

you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.

i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.

with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but like… you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.

ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic movie #.sbs3 #yeah no i WILL be annoying about this #because what the fuck

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

FYI artists and writers: some info regarding tumblr's new "third-party sharing" (aka selling your content to OpenAI and Midjourney)

You may have already seen the post by @staff regarding third-party sharing and how to opt out. You may have also already seen various news articles discussing the matter.

But here's a little further clarity re some questions I had, and you may too. Caveat: Not all of this is on official tumblr pages, so it's possible things may change.

(1) "I heard they already have access to my data and it doesn't really matter if I opt out"

From the 404 article:

A new FAQ section we reviewed is titled “What happens when you opt out?” states “If you opt out from the start, we will block crawlers from accessing your content by adding your site on a disallowed list. If you change your mind later, we also plan to update any partners about people who newly opt-out and ask that their content be removed from past sources and future training.”

So please, go click that opt-out button.

(2) Some future user: "I've been away from tumblr for months, and I just heard about all this. I didn't opt out before, so does it make a difference anymore?"

Another internal document shows that, on February 23, an employee asked in a staff-only thread, “Do we have assurances that if a user opts out of their data being shared with third parties that our existing data partners will be notified of such a change and remove their data?” Andrew Spittle, Automattic’s head of AI replied: “We will notify existing partners on a regular basis about anyone who's opted out since the last time we provided a list. I want this to be an ongoing process where we regularly advocate for past content to be excluded based on current preferences. We will ask that content be deleted and removed from any future training runs. I believe partners will honor this based on our conversations with them to this point. I don't think they gain much overall by retaining it.”

It should make a difference! Go click that button.

(3) "I opted out, but my art posts have been reblogged by so many people, and I don't know if they all opted out. What does that mean for my stuff?"

This answer is actually on the support page for the toggle:

This option will prevent your blog's content, even when reblogged, from being shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models.

And some further clarification by the COO and a product manager:

zingring: A couple people from work have reached out to let me know that yes, it applies to reblogs of "don't scrape" content. If you opt out, your content is opted out, even in reblog form. cyle: yep, for reblogs, we're taking it so far as "if anybody in the reblog trail has opted out, all of the content in that reblog will be opted out", when a reblog could be scraped/shared.

So not only your reblogged posts, but anyone who contributed in a reblog (such as posts where someone has been inspired to draw fanart of the OP) will presumably be protected by your opt-out. (A good reason to opt out even if you yourself are not a creator.)

Furthermore, if you the OP were offline and didn't know about the opt-out, if someone contributed to a reblog and they are opted out, then your original work is also protected. (Which makes it very tempting to contribute "scrapeable content" now whenever I reblog from an abandoned/disused blog...)

(4) "What about deleted blogs? They can't opt out!"

I was told by someone (not official) that he read "deleted blogs are all opted-out by default". However, he didn't recall the source, and I can't find it, so I can't guarantee that info. If I get more details - like if/when tumblr puts up that FAQ as reported in the 404 article - I will add it here as soon as I can.

Edit, tumblr has updated their help page for the option to opt-out of third-party sharing! It now states:

The content which will not be shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models, includes: • Posts and reblogs of posts from blogs who have enabled the "Prevent third-party sharing" option. • Posts and reblogs of posts from deleted blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from password-protected blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from explicit blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from suspended/deactivated blogs. • Private posts. • Drafts. • Messages. • Asks and submissions which have not been publicly posted. • Post+ subscriber-only posts. • Explicit posts.

So no need to worry about your old deleted blogs that still have reblogs floating around. *\o/*

But for your existing blogs, please use the opt out option. And a reminder of how to opt out, under the cut:

The opt-out toggle is in Blog Settings, and please note you need to do it for each one of your blogs / sideblogs.

On dashboard, the toggle is at https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/blogname [replace "blogname" as applicable] down by Visibility:

For mobile, you need the most recent update of the app. (Android version 33.4.1.100, iOs version 33.4.) Then go to your blog tab (the little person icon), and then the gear icon for Settings, then click Visibility.

Again, if you have a sideblog, go back to the blog tab, switch to it, and go to settings again. Repeat as necessary.

If you do not have access to the newest version of the app for whatever reason, you can also log into tumblr in your mobile browser. Same URL as per desktop above, same location.

Note you do not need to change settings in both desktop and the app, just one is fine.

I hope this helps!

#tumblr #[tumblr] #third party sharing #openai #midjourney #chatgpt #ai art #ai #fyi #psa #anti-FUD #artists on tumblr #writers on tumblr #illustrators on tumblr #tumblr update #oh tumblr #hellsite (derogatory) #“opt out” no longer looks like a word #but still #opt out my friends #please #also if you want to leave tumblr i don't blame you but please remember to hit that opt-out button before you go

[thecatspasta]

Inspired by @arrgh-whatever's post on helping ppl with BPD

Edit bc I forgot to add this: Being vulnerable means smth different for different ppl, something that could read as being vulnerable to you can read as just another Tuesday for someone else

[ID: a simply-drawn comic, narrated by a person coloured-in in pink.

Panel 1: The pink person narrates: "So there's a lot of "signs your ex is a narcissist and how to deal with them" and it's not very accurate. So here's how to actually "deal" with a narcissist from someone with narcissistic personality disorder."

Panel 2: This panel has the heading: "1. Supply." The pink person narrates: "People with NPD have very fragile self-esteem, and supply is what keeps us from having a mental breakdown. Supply can be many things, but often attention and praise are effective. Stuff like "Wow! That's super cool!!" can go a long way." A person is shown saying this to another person, who smiles.

Panel 3: This panel has the heading: "2. Criticism." The pink person narrates: "Oh boy. So narcissists take things as personal very easily. It's because if anyone contradicts our delusions that we have built our entire self-image on, it feels like you are attacking us as a person." There is an example shown, where one person says "hey, you were a bit too rude back there," but the other person hears "You're an awful dick no-one likes." The alternative manner of phrasing is suggested as "Hey, you were a bit too rude. You're cool, but some people took it poorly." The second person in this example thinks "I'm still a cool person. It's not my fault, but I can do things to be better." The narrator continues, "We don't really understand the concept of a harmless mistake."

Panel 4: This panel has the heading: "3. Boundaries." The pink person narrates: "With narcissists, setting down strict boundaries is very important. 1. Knowing we have hurt you because you didn't set down boundaries can really upset and annoy us because the delusions that we can do no wrong and know you best get broken. 2. If you let us break boundaries, it can lead us to see you as "weak" and devalue you. Communication is key."

Panel 5: This panel has the heading: "4. Anger." The pink person narrates: "So people with NPD tend to be prone to anger. This is a defense mechanism, because to us, it's either facing the inaccuracies of our delusions and having a mental breakdown, or blaming something else. We do not mean to lash out; we just don't have the skills to cope properly. You can help by: 1. Letting us express out emotions without judgement; 2. giving us praise or attention; and 3. Distracting us from what angered us." Each example of how to help is accompanied by a small cartoon.

Panel 6: This panel has the heading: "5. Other NPD things!" The pink person narrates: "'Love bomb, devalue, discard' is actually: we are genuinely obsessed with you and want you to recognize us as cool, we lose that obsession and move on, we feel threatened in some way and lash out. We can't really handle being seen as vulnerable. We take sympathy and empathy as pity and pity as you telling us we're weak. Not acknowledging we're being vulnerable and acting as if nothing is wrong can be helpful in these situations. People with NPD have a very warped view of reality. We do not mean to hurt you and often do not realise we have. Remember, this won't work for everyone, and talking is very important."

/end ID]

Ty to @aromanticsky for the id

#garlic breath #pasta scribbles #mental health #mental health awareness #npd safe #actually narcissistic #actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #npd #actually mentally ill #actually neurodivergent #mental illness #neurodivergent #art #my art #cluster b #cluster b safe #npd info #cluster b info #cluster b awareness

[alfheimr]

My Favorite Cheap Art Trick: Gradient Maps and Blending Modes

i get questions on occasion regarding my coloring process, so i thought i would do a bit of a write up on my "secret technique." i don't think it really is that much of a secret, but i hope it can be helpful to someone. to that end:

this is one of my favorite tags ive ever gotten on my art. i think of it often. the pieces in question are all monochrome - sort of.

the left version is the final version, the right version is technically the original. in the final version, to me, the blues are pretty stark, while the greens and magentas are less so. there is some color theory thing going on here that i dont have a good cerebral understanding of and i wont pretend otherwise. i think i watched a youtube video on it once but it went in one ear and out the other. i just pick whatever colors look nicest based on whatever vibe im going for.

this one is more subtle, i think. can you tell the difference? there's nothing wrong with 100% greyscale art, but i like the depth that adding just a hint of color can bring.

i'll note that the examples i'll be using in this post all began as purely greyscale, but this is a process i use for just about every piece of art i make, including the full color ones. i'll use the recent mithrun art i made to demonstrate. additionally, i use clip studio paint, but the general concept should be transferable to other art programs.

for fun let's just start with Making The Picture. i've been thinking of making this writeup for a while and had it in mind while drawing this piece. beyond that, i didn't really have much of a plan for this outside of "mithrun looks down and hair goes woosh." i also really like all of the vertical lines in the canary uniform so i wanted to include those too but like. gone a little hog wild. that is the extent of my "concept." i do not remember why i had the thought of integrating a shattered mirror type of theme. i think i wanted to distract a bit from the awkward pose and cover it up some LOL but anyway. this lack of planning or thought will come into play later.

note 1: the textured marker brush i specifically use is the "bordered light marker" from daub. it is one of my favorite brushes in the history of forever and the daub mega brush pack is one of the best purchases ive ever made. highly recommend!!!

note 2: "what do you mean by exclusion and difference?" they are layer blending modes and not important to the overall lesson of this post but for transparency i wanted to say how i got these "effects." anyway!

with the background figured out, this is the point at which i generally merge all of my layers, duplicate said merged layer, and Then i begin experimenting with gradient maps. what are gradient maps?

the basic gist is that gradient maps replace the colors of an image based on their value.

so, with this particular gradient map, black will be replaced with that orangey red tone, white will be replaced with the seafoamy green tone, etc. this particular gradient map i'm using as an example is very bright and saturated, but the colors can be literally anything.

these two sets are the ones i use most. they can be downloaded for free here and here if you have csp. there are many gradient map sets out there. and you can make your own!

you can apply a gradient map directly onto a specific layer in csp by going to edit>tonal correction>gradient map. to apply one indirectly, you can use a correction layer through layer>new correction layer>gradient map. honestly, correction layers are probably the better way to go, because you can adjust your gradient map whenever you want after creating the layer, whereas if you directly apply a gradient map to a layer thats like. it. it's done. if you want to make changes to the applied gradient map, you have to undo it and then reapply it. i don't use correction layers because i am old and stuck in my ways, but it's good to know what your options are.

this is what a correction layer looks like. it sits on top and applies the gradient map to the layers underneath it, so you can also change the layers beneath however and whenever you want. you can adjust the gradient map by double clicking the layer. there are also correction layers for tone curves, brightness/contrast, etc. many such useful things in this program.

let's see how mithrun looks when we apply that first gradient map we looked at.

gadzooks. apologies for eyestrain. we have turned mithrun into a neon hellscape, which might work for some pieces, but not this one. we can fix that by changing the layer blending mode, aka this laundry list of words:

some of them are self explanatory, like darken and lighten, while some of them i genuinely don't understand how they are meant to work and couldn't explain them to you, even if i do use them. i'm sure someone out there has written out an explanation for each and every one of them, but i've learned primarily by clicking on them to see what they do.

for the topic of this post, the blending mode of interest is soft light. so let's take hotline miamithrun and change the layer blending mode to soft light.

here it is at 100% opacity. this is the point at which i'd like to explain why i like using textured brushes so much - it makes it very easy to get subtle color variation when i use this Secret Technique. look at the striation in the upper right background! so tasty. however, to me, these colors are still a bit "much." so let's lower the opacity.

i think thats a lot nicer to look at, personally, but i dont really like these colors together. how about we try some other ones?

i like both of these a lot more. the palettes give the piece different vibes, at which point i have to ask myself: What Are The Vibes, Actually? well, to be honest i didn't really have a great answer because again, i didn't plan this out very much at all. however. i knew in my heart that there was too much color contrast going on and it was detracting from the two other contrasts in here: the light and dark values and the sharp and soft shapes. i wanted mithrun's head to be the main focal point. for a different illustration, colors like this might work great, but this is not that hypothetical illustration, so let's bring the opacity down again.

yippee!! that's getting closer to what my heart wants. for fun, let's see what this looks like if we change the blending mode to color.

i do like how these look but in the end they do not align with my heart. oh well. fun to experiment with though! good to keep in mind for a different piece, maybe! i often change blending modes just to see what happens, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. i very much cannot stress enough that much of my artistic process is clicking buttons i only sort of understand. for fun.

i ended up choosing the gradient map on the right because i liked that it was close to the actual canary uniform colors (sorta). it's at an even lower opacity though because there was Still too much color for my dear heart.

the actual process for this looks like me setting my merged layer to soft light at around 20% opacity and then clicking every single gradient map in my collection and seeing which one Works. sometimes i will do this multiple times and have multiple soft light and/or color layers combined.

typically at this point i merge everything again and do minor contrast adjustments using tone curves, which is another tool i find very fun to play around with. then for this piece in particular i did some finishing touches and decided that the white border was distracting so i cropped it. and then it's done!!! yay!!!!!

this process is a very simple and "fast" way to add more depth and visual interest to a piece without being overbearing. well, it's fast if you aren't indecisive like me, or if you are better at planning.

let's do another comparison. personally i feel that the hint of color on the left version makes mithrun look just a bit more unwell (this is a positive thing) and it makes the contrast on his arm a lot more pleasing to look at. someone who understands color theory better than i do might have more to say on the specifics, but that's honestly all i got.

just dont look at my layers too hard. ok?

#process #art tutorial #unsure what else to tag this as. if this does not post properly i will cry.

[nostalgebraist]

Honestly I'm pretty tired of supporting nostalgebraist-autoresponder. Going to wind down the project some time before the end of this year.

Posting this mainly to get the idea out there, I guess.

This project has taken an immense amount of effort from me over the years, and still does, even when it's just in maintenance mode.

Today some mysterious system update (or something) made the model no longer fit on the GPU I normally use for it, despite all the same code and settings on my end.

This exact kind of thing happened once before this year, and I eventually figured it out, but I haven't figured this one out yet. This problem consumed several hours of what was meant to be a relaxing Sunday. Based on past experience, getting to the bottom of the issue would take many more hours.

My options in the short term are to

A. spend (even) more money per unit time, by renting a more powerful GPU to do the same damn thing I know the less powerful one can do (it was doing it this morning!), or

B. silently reduce the context window length by a large amount (and thus the "smartness" of the output, to some degree) to allow the model to fit on the old GPU.

Things like this happen all the time, behind the scenes.

I don't want to be doing this for another year, much less several years. I don't want to be doing it at all.

----

In 2019 and 2020, it was fun to make a GPT-2 autoresponder bot.

[EDIT: I've seen several people misread the previous line and infer that nostalgebraist-autoresponder is still using GPT-2. She isn't, and hasn't been for a long time. Her latest model is a finetuned LLaMA-13B.]

Hardly anyone else was doing anything like it. I wasn't the most qualified person in the world to do it, and I didn't do the best possible job, but who cares? I learned a lot, and the really competent tech bros of 2019 were off doing something else.

And it was fun to watch the bot "pretend to be me" while interacting (mostly) with my actual group of tumblr mutuals.

In 2023, everyone and their grandmother is making some kind of "gen AI" app. They are helped along by a dizzying array of tools, cranked out by hyper-competent tech bros with apparently infinite reserves of free time.

There are so many of these tools and demos. Every week it seems like there are a hundred more; it feels like every day I wake up and am expected to be familiar with a hundred more vaguely nostalgebraist-autoresponder-shaped things.

And every one of them is vastly better-engineered than my own hacky efforts. They build on each other, and reap the accelerating returns.

I've tended to do everything first, ahead of the curve, in my own way. This is what I like doing. Going out into unexplored wilderness, not really knowing what I'm doing, without any maps.

Later, hundreds of others with go to the same place. They'll make maps, and share them. They'll go there again and again, learning to make the expeditions systematically. They'll make an optimized industrial process of it. Meanwhile, I'll be locked in to my own cottage-industry mode of production.

Being the first to do something means you end up eventually being the worst.

----

I had a GPT chatbot in 2019, before GPT-3 existed. I don't think Huggingface Transformers existed, either. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.

I had a denoising diffusion image generator in 2021, before DALLE-2 or Stable Diffusion or Huggingface Diffusers. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.

Earlier this year, I was (probably) one the first people to finetune LLaMA. I manually strapped LoRA and 8-bit quantization onto the original codebase, figuring out everything the hard way. It was fun.

Just a few months later, and your grandmother is probably running LLaMA on her toaster as we speak. My homegrown methods look hopelessly antiquated. I think everyone's doing 4-bit quantization now?

(Are they? I can't keep track anymore -- the hyper-competent tech bros are too damn fast. A few months from now the thing will be probably be quantized to -1 bits, somehow. It'll be running in your phone's browser. And it'll be using RLHF, except no, it'll be using some successor to RLHF that everyone's hyping up at the time...)

"You have a GPT chatbot?" someone will ask me. "I assume you're using AutoLangGPTLayerPrompt?"

No, no, I'm not. I'm trying to debug obscure CUDA issues on a Sunday so my bot can carry on talking to a thousand strangers, every one of whom is asking it something like "PENIS PENIS PENIS."

Only I am capable of unplugging the blockage and giving the "PENIS PENIS PENIS" askers the responses they crave. ("Which is ... what, exactly?", one might justly wonder.) No one else would fully understand the nature of the bug. It is special to my own bizarre, antiquated, homegrown system.

I must have one of the longest-running GPT chatbots in existence, by now. Possibly the longest-running one?

I like doing new things. I like hacking through uncharted wilderness. The world of GPT chatbots has long since ceased to provide this kind of value to me.

I want to cede this ground to the LLaMA techbros and the prompt engineers. It is not my wilderness anymore.

I miss wilderness. Maybe I will find a new patch of it, in some new place, that no one cares about yet.

----

Even in 2023, there isn't really anything else out there quite like Frank. But there could be.

If you want to develop some sort of Frank-like thing, there has never been a better time than now. Everyone and their grandmother is doing it.

"But -- but how, exactly?"

Don't ask me. I don't know. This isn't my area anymore.

There has never been a better time to make a GPT chatbot -- for everyone except me, that is.

Ask the techbros, the prompt engineers, the grandmas running OpenChatGPT on their ironing boards. They are doing what I did, faster and easier and better, in their sleep. Ask them.

#nostalgebraist autoresponder meta

[carmenlire]

hi!! i just read your flex on me fic and saw your jaeyoung tags on a semantic error gifset and can i just say i love your perspective on these characters. the fic made my heart so warm and i love you write jaeyoung and sangwoo so lovingly. i especially love how you write how much jaeyoung spoils sangwoo. i was wondering what your pov would be of jaeyoung if sangwoo ever got sick or hurt. id love to know <3 again ty for the amazing fic!!

Hi!! omg this is such a lovely message!! first of all, thank you so much for reading Flex on Me and sending a really nice message :') I'm so happy that you enjoyed that fic. i love semantic error So Much and it was so fun to write jaeyoung and sangwoo in an established relationship!!

I am such a sucker for the way that Jaeyoung cares for Sangwoo. In the show we see that, even when they aren't together yet-- even when Jaeyoung isn't completely sold on if he even likes Sangwoo-- he still tells on himself. Half the times he was "annoying" Sangwoo, it was just him flirting/taking care of him!!! And as we know Sangwoo's reactions might not be as overt but he still falls so deep and his love for Jaeyoung shines through in the quiet moments. These two play so well together and I love that they're both idiots in love but as individuals, they're strong and capable and independent.

Which brings us to this LOVELY scenario you sent me! Honestly, this entire message made me so happy but then you asked for me to talk about these two even more?? I'm like a kid in a candy store right now.

So, as previously established Jaeyoung is 1) exceedingly smart/capable 2) hopelessly in love with Sangwoo and 3) loves to spoil his boyfriend. So what happens if Sangwoo is injured/sick? Jaeyoung turns into the Ultimate Boyfriend, of course!

I'm putting the rest under a read more because i lowkey wrote a whole fic-- I hope you like it!!

Let's say that Sangwoo gets a horrendous cold every fall. He can feel it coming a few days before, the first warning signs.-- a tickle in his throat, a vague ache in his joints. He's been dating Jaeyoung for awhile now and he's so happy he didn't think it was possible to feel this much-- and as much as it pains him, he knows the next week isn't gong to be very fun so he starts pulling back a little from Jaeyoung. Sangwoo doesn't want him to get sick-- he has a important deadline coming up-- and, well, he also doesn't want Jaeyoung to see him like that. Gross and snotty and even more easily irritable than usual (forget that now that they're together, while Sangwoo can be prickly and exacting, Jaeyoung is rarely treated to the full Sangwoo Effect anymore. Yuna thinks it's disgusting how soft they are on each other, especially considering their origin story).

So, knowing what's coming, Sangwoo starts coming up with excuses for why he can't see Jaeyoung. Oh, he has to meet a professor during lunch. Sorry hyung, I have to get this project done tonight you can't come over. The first time it happens, Jaeyoung pouts for a second but goes ahead and meets Yuna and Hyeongtak for lunch. When Sangwoo avoids him that night, however, his suspicions rise but he still easily accepts it, working halfheartedly on his own stuff for a minute before quickly growing bored without Sangwoo there to ground him (he’s really gotten so used to working next to his boyfriend at night) and putting on a show on Netflix while sending Sangwoo a truly alarming number of messages that are both cute and annoying!

Sangwoo responds to them later that night after he finishes his homework and Jaeyoung is treated to a goodnight selfie that makes his heart warm and his cheeks ache with how much he loves his boy. Sangwoo is wearing one of Jaeyoung’s hoodies, hair messy like it only is right before or after bed, and there’s a hint of a smile on his face. The message is short and sweet. Goodnight, hyung. I love you. Don’t forget to set an alarm.

And part of Jaeyoung wants to scoff because they’ve been dating less than a year but a much bigger part of him just wiggles in delight because Sangwoo has memorized his schedule and cares enough to send these little reminders. It makes something soft and warm curl up and flutter in his stomach anytime he stops to think about it.

Still, he thinks he sees a hint of red lining Sangwoo’s eyes, touching the tip of his nose. Goodness knows that Jaeyoung stares at the picture long enough to memorize it but he tells himself it was just the lighting and goes to sleep– but not before sending his own selfie and message with way too many emojis.

All of which to say, Sangwoo is able to dodge Jaeyoung for another day before his careful plans melt into disarray. By this time, his throat hurts and he accidentally-on-purpose snapped at an upperclassman who tried to wheedle for the answers to this afternoon’s homework. It’s Thursday and he already knows that his plans for the weekend will consist of nothing but being lonely and miserable with nothing but a box of Kleenex for company.

Because that’s another thing. It’s been less than 48 hours since he saw Jaeyoung and he’s going half crazy with it. Knowing that Jaeyoung is so close but that he can’t see him is affecting Sangwoo more than he thought it would. Especially when he’s so miserable and feels like shit and knows that it’ll get worse before it gets better.

He catches himself wanting to text Jaeyoung every hour– sometimes just to talk but a lot of the time he has to stop himself from asking his boyfriend to come over. God, he wants nothing more than to lay down on his boyfriend’s chest. He’s been sleeping in one of Jaeyoung’s hoodies for the past couple of days but it’s a sad imitation of the real thing.

But no, he tells himself firmly for the hundredth time. He doesn’t want to get his boyfriend sick. Jaeyoung has so much going on and it would be selfish and unfair of him to not only impose but impose knowing that Jaeyoung could get sick.

Saying it doesn’t help the way he wants, though. He’s always been a little needy, a bit clingy when he’s not feeling well. When it’s happened at university, he’s powered through knowing that there was no one to take care of him but himself. Knowing that Jaeyoung is just a call away is bittersweet.

Jaeyoung, for his part, knows by this point that something is up and that Sangwoo is definitely avoiding him. What he doesn’t know is why. Sangwoo’s replies are still as understatedly loving as ever. He still sent a goodnight selca last night. But besides his time in France, this is the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other in person and it’s kinda driving Jaeyoung crazy.

Deciding enough is enough and that Sangwoo can damn well tell him to his face why he’s avoiding him, Jaeyoung decides to meet Sangwoo after his coding class that afternoon. It’s Thursday and Thursdays are always their movie nights and Sangwoo hasn’t ghosted him yet but Jaeyoung can see it coming and he wants to know why.

After his consulting meeting is done, Jaeyoung heads over to campus. Looking down at his watch, he sees that Sangwoo’s class should be letting out in ten minutes, so he heads over to the computer science building to wait. He replies to Yuna’s texts in the meantime and looks up just as a dozen or so students pour out the doors.

He scans their faces but none of them are Sangwoo, which is unusual. His boyfriend is usually the first one out. Jaeyoung’s just getting ready to text him, see if he missed him after all, when Sangwoo finally exits the building.

Before he even quite knows what he’s seeing, something in Jaeyoung’s heart just melts. It’s a cold November day, the sky dark and gloomy, the air frigid. And there Sangwoo is, bundled in one of his hoodies– a red one, to Jaeyoung’s surprise– face mask and hat all but completely obscuring his face. Over the hoodie, is one of Jaeyoung’s jackets that he’d thought he’d lost last time he did laundry.

His mouth curls at the corner in delight. He’s such a little thief, Jaeyoung thinks absolutely besotted.

“Sangwoo-ah,” Jaeyoung calls out.

Sangwoo jerks to a standstill, looking up. Even though most of his face is covered, Jaeyoung sees well enough that Sangwoo feels caught.

“Hyung?” Sangwoo asks, not stepping any closer. “What are you doing here?”

Well, fine then. Jaeyoung takes it upon himself to close the distance between them. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing right in front of Sangwoo and then he leans down until he’s in his space. “Can’t a boyfriend surprise his boyfriend after class?” He raises an eyebrow, knowing he’s definitely annoying Sangwoo.

And there’s the spark in Sangwoo’s eyes that’s always a dead giveaway that he’s about to get huffy. Something in Jaeyoung hums in satisfaction– he loves getting a reaction out of Sangwoo.

In the next moment, he’s frowning, though. Because sure there’s a spark now but Sangwoo’s eyes look a little dull, the shadows underneath them pronounced. His forehead is a little sweaty and that doesn’t make sense at all– sure, Sangwoo is wearing a hoodie and jacket but it is November and it is freezing. He’s dressed appropriately.

“Baby,” Jaeyoung asks, voice dropping to something low and warm. Sangwoo had said once, half delirious with sleep deprivation, that he loves Jaeyoung’s voice always but especially when it takes on this cadence. Makes me feel taken cared of, feels like it wraps around me, makes me feel warm, he’d said.

The admission had ruined Jaeyoung in a way that made him want to use the voice all the time, just to see the way tension melted off Sangwoo’s shoulders. He’d made a study of it– using the voice during sex was a given but slipping into it when Sangwoo was stressed, when he wanted to tease in a way that made both of them turn into each other, when it was just the two of them and Jaeyoung just wanted Sangwoo to know he was there– the feeling is indescribable, knowing the power Sangwoo lets him wield.

Now, when there’s just a few other students rushing around, when it’s like the two of them are in their own bubble on campus, using that tone stills something deep in both of them.

Jaeyoung reaches a hand up, trails a finger over the shell of Sangwoo’s ear.

He wasn’t really worried that something was wrong. Most of Jaeyoung just missed Sangwoo and wanted to see him and maybe tease him about how could school be more important than spending quality time with his perfect boyfriend.

Now, though– well, he’s still not worried but he knows something is up and he knows they aren’t leaving this spot until Sangwoo tells him.

Sangwoo is staring straight ahead at his chin, not making eye contact. Jaeyoung leans even further down, until he’s almost touching the fabric of Sangwoo’s face mask, until his boyfriend has no choice but to meet his gaze.

“Baby,” he murmurs, watching as something shifts behind those beautiful eyes– even when he’s not at his best, Sangwoo still takes his breath away. “Tell hyung what’s wrong, hm?”

He hears Sangwoo suck in a breath before he’s leaning back, holding a hand to Jaeyoung’s chest to keep the space between them.

“I told you that I need to focus on school for the next few days,” Sangwoo says. The words words feel stiff, like he’s rehearsed them too much to ring true.

Jaeyoung reaches up for the hand staying him, links their fingers before bringing them right back together. Sangwoo doesn’t protest.

Time to play a little dirty, then. Jaeyoung smiles, something small that curves the edge of his eyes. Sangwoo’s own narrow in warning but Jaeyoung doesn’t pay him any mind.

He squeezes the hand still in his, wraps his other arm around Sangwoo until it rests low on his back. He pulls him forward into an embrace close to a hug as he whispers in his ear, “Come on, baby. You know I can tell when you’re lying.”

To his surprise, Sangwoo doesn’t immediately pull back and get defensive. Sangwoo doesn’t deflect or start arguing. There’s no quip on his tongue, eager to spill out and start a round of bickering that’s usually fun and engaging.

No, instead his cute little boyfriend just snuggles into him?

Jaeyoung can’t help the shiver that snakes up his spine as Sangwoo noses along the column of his throat. His face mask is scratchy against his skin but his boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind the barrier between them.

“Sangwoo?”

Sangwoo’s arms come up to wrap around his waist, squeezing him closer. He lays his head against Jaeyoung’s shoulder, seems to settle in, humming contentedly.

Tightening his grip, Jaeyoung starts swaying them back and forth a little. Resting his head on top of Sangwoo’s, Jaeyoung can’t help his smile. He squeezes a little. “Sangwoo-ah, baby, can you answer me?”

Something in Jaeyoung– definitely his heart– absolutely melts at the way Sangwoo relaxes against him. This isn’t anything new, Sangwoo has a tendency to slip like this when it’s just them, but it is unexpected for it to happen in public. And while Jaeyoung still doesn’t think anything is dangerously wrong, he needs to find out what’s going on.

Finally, Sangwoo sighs. His voice is low and hoarse and rough at the edges. His tone is petulant as he reluctantly says, “I don’t feel good, hyung.”

Jaeyoung’s heart squeezes painfully before tumbling at Sangwoo’s feet. He lays a soft edge to the shell of Sangwoo’s ear. “What’s wrong, baby?”

It’s silent for a long moment that fills with the sounds of birds in the distance, the chatter of a group of students several yards away talking about the midterm they all just failed. Internally, Jaeyoung starts compiling a list of things he might need in the immediate future, from medicine to Sangwoo’s favorite ghibli film to that chicken congee recipe he had his eomma email him during his freshman year.

Sangwoo eventually pulls back enough to meet Jaeyoung’s eyes. His own are red and a little hazy. He stares at Jaeyoung for a long moment and Jaeyoung lets himself look back. The truth is, Sangwoo looks a little miserable and things are coming together but he needs Sangwoo to just tell him so that Jaeyoung can do what he wants to– what, suddenly, he has a burning need to do.

“I’m in the midst of an annual cold,” Sangwoo finally says, sounding extremely disgruntled. Jaeyoung bites his cheek so he doesn’t smile– God, Sangwoo is so cute like this.

Jaeyoung leans a little closer, narrowing his eyes in the way that’s mostly teasing but still has a kernel of seriousness. “And why didn’t you tell me? Me, your boyfriend, whose job is to take care of his boyfriend when he’s not feeling well?” He pouts exaggeratedly. “I can’t take care of you if you avoid me, Jagiya.”

Studiously avoiding his gaze, Sangwoo takes a shuddering breath before he mutters, “You shouldn’t have to take care of me, especially not when you have so much on your plate right now.”

Jaeyoung immediately shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter,” he says firmly.

Even under the mask, Jaeyoung can see Sangwoo’s mouth turn down. “I could get you sick.”

Jaeyoung reaches a hand up to flick against the brim of Sangwoo’s hat just to see the mulish set of his brows better. “Doesn’t matter,” he repeats.

“But–”

“Sangwoo-ah,” Jaeyoung cuts him off, leaning down until he’s back in his space. He gentles his voice. “Baby, I love you and I love taking care of you.” And oh, here he gets to see the quiet happiness well in Sangwoo’s eyes, the easing of tension along his brow.

“I want to be there when you’re happy and feeling good but I also want to be there when you feel like shit and not you best. Don’t you want that, too?”

“It’s not fair,” Sangwoo offers weakly, closely his eyes against the onslaught that is a pouting Jaeyoung.

Jaeyoung hums in thought. “What’s not fair, my stubborn boyfriend, is you trying to hide this from me. Do you know how amazing I am at playing nursemaid? You haven’t even tasted my congee!”

Sangwoo leans forward until he can rest his forehead against Jaeyoung’s chest. “I’m probably going to be an ass when I’m sick.”

He feels Jaeyoung laugh before his hands come up to rub soothingly down Sangwoo’s back. It feels amazing, exactly what he’d been imagining over the past few days when he desperately wanted to call Jaeyoung for the comfort only his boyfriend could provide– he feels warm and cared for and it’s so good he feels tears sting his eyes.

Now that he’s caught, he doesn’t really want to argue and belabor his point. No, he knows what he wants– what he’s wanted since he first started coming down with this hellish cold– and he just doesn’t have it in himself to deny him– them both, apparently– of this.

His voice is tired but any remaining tension drains out of him as Sangwoo finally accepts that he does have someone he can lean on and that the person is not only willing but eager to do so.

“Please take care of me, Jaeyoungie-hyung.”

Jaeyoung’s heart stills at the request, soft spoken but aching with want. His chest feels too small to contain this feeling, the sheer desire to care for the man in front of him in any way he needs, in every way he can. “Of course, baby. Of course.”

Jaeyoung kisses the top of Sangwoo’s hair before letting go just to immediately hold his hand. “Let’s go home.”

Over the next three days, Sangwoo’s cold does indeed gets worse. He loses his voice almost completely, his coughing annoying him so much that he can only wonder at how Jaeyoung seems unbothered and he goes through enough tissues that he should’ve bought stock in Kleenex.

Through it all, Jaeyoung takes care of him. That first night, they went back to Sangwoo’s apartment together and while Sangwoo took a shower, Jaeyoung ran to the corner mart to pick up anything he might need, including groceries for his eomma's congee.

When he gets back to the apartment, Sangwoo is in a clean Sweatshirt of Jaeyoung’s and a pair of leggings, hair hanging in his eyes. Jaeyoung urges him to rest on the couch while he sets about making dinner. He hasn’t been sick in a while, though, and so when he gets to step seven he calls his eomma just to make sure he’s making it the best way possible.

His mom is endeared– Jaeyoung has talked extensively about Sangwoo– and Jaeyoung keeps his voice low as he finishes cooking in the kitchen.

Sangwoo actually does cry, just a little, when Jaeyoung wakes him up with a bowl later in the evening. Jaeyoung doesn’t tease, doesn’t show just how he’s melted into a puddle at seeing his boyfriend’s wide eyes upon seeing dinner after his nap, at the way Sangwoo tears up because it’s so good and Jaeyoung is taking care of him so well even though it’s only been two hours and he loves this man so much, he’s so lucky–

Jaeyoung cuts his rambling off with a kiss, looking pleased with himself when he pulls back.

Sangwoo, for his part, is horrified. “You’re going to get sick,” he hisses, covering his mouth, scandalized.

Jaeyoung just shrugs and winks at him. “Guess you’ll have to take care of me, then, huh?”

Sangwoo does his best to glower but it quickly morphs into a sneeze and Jaeyoung laughs softly, way too fucking endeared as Sangwoo just looks like a sad kitten and really, he wonders, the heart can’t be meant to hold all of this feeling.

Most of the weekend is spent with Sangwoo cuddled up to Jaeyoung, resting his absolutely aching head against his boyfriend’s chest and using Jaeyoung as his own space heater. Jaeyoung keeps a strict schedule with the medicine and fluids and they spend the entire weekend watching movies or resting. Jaeyoung, for his part, spends a lot of the time that Sangwoo is asleep watching his boyfriend. It’s a quiet but no less striking contentment.

Even though Sangwoo’s hair is sweaty and Jaeyoung definitely knows he’s going to be sick by this time next week, it’s more than worth it to him. And contrary to Sangwoo’s warning, he’s not an asshole at all– he’s pliant and soft around the edges, clingy in a way Jaeyoung will never admit he loves.

And sure enough, ten days later it’s Sangwoo’s chance to return the favor as Jaeyoung proves to be a dramatic– but not difficult, not at all if you know him, if you love him, if you treasure any and all chance to show him and care for him– patient himself.

#ahhhh thank you again for this lovely LOVELY message!! it totally made my day! #also i hope you like this fic i wrote??? i definitely didn't mean to get so taken away but i couldn't help myself! #i may just have to edit this a little and post it to ao3 :') #i'm always here to talk about anything and everything semantic error related #and i hope i did your idea justice!!! #asked #answered #anon #semantic error #my writing tag #semantic error fic #se anon