#I logged out yesterday and had such a productive day I think I will do it again

[sunburnacoustic]

Just rambling here so ignore this completely…

Especially within the last few years, quite a few people have been talking about Muse not being political enough, especially given their (and Matt’s) fondness for revolution and bold themes. It’s not a new complaint, I remember an interview where the interviewer mentioned it to Matt, saying people were criticising Muse for not being political enough… this was in 2000. But it has come from everywhere, like from fans, from people in the press, from people that urm, know Matt’s past. From Justin Hawkins lmao (frontman of the Darkness, remember them? They released a proper weird album last year so they aren’t gone… anyway, that’s besides the point. He’s become a sort of music industry journalist? He’s got a YouTube channel, and he reviewed Won’t Stand Down when it came out and said something along the lines of, if Muse were specific in their political messaging, no one could touch them. It’d be so powerful they’d blow everyone else out of the water. I think, no doubt they already do… it’s something to think about, I’m neither agreeing nor disagreeing with him. He’s right that if Matt properly let loose I don’t think anyone could touch him, and we got a taste of that on We Are Fucking Fucked. An uncensored Matt would burn so bright we couldn’t look. But also, the tempered and considered broadness of their music does make Muse Muse. I won’t say). People pushed Matt in interviews on his political leanings in the 2009 days, they did it post-Brexit (someone started shit about him being a leaver for a bit and then he had to clarify that he was pro-reform, not pro-Brexit), and now with the whole thing about Matt’s past, and Compliance, and Ghosts even and everything. And his answer has always remained the same, it hasn’t changed in years.

But I wonder, is it in some ways America-centric, the way people keep needing him to clarify further when he’s said what he’s said multiple times? He often says he’s roughly ‘left-of-centre’, and it’s occurring to me that it’s possible a lot of us read that as left of the American centre. When he, as a Brit, is far more likely to have been talking about being left-leaning from the POV of… most other places in the world.

The NME interview from last June comes to mind.

“We want a new type of revolution,” Matt argues […]. “I think everyone knows we want a revolution, but we definitely don’t want a bunch of authoritarian lunatics from the right. That’s the last thing we want.

“And also we don’t want a total communist situation on the hard left either. I think what we want is something completely new. I don’t think it exists out there at the moment, but I think there’s a new type of politics that could emerge. I would call it Meta-Centrism. It’s an oscillation between liberal, libertarian values for individuals – your social life, the ability to be whatever gender you are, all that kind of stuff – but then more socialist on things like land ownership, nature and energy distribution. It’s oscillation between the two poles.”

It’s not what you’d associate with the American center, god no. But that’s closer to the centre of the political spectrum in most other places, in fact, as far as economic centricity goes, that’s pushing left.

And I mean, language can be tricky sometimes. In the very next sentence, Matt also says, “I think there’s a way of doing that but there’s no language that enables people to think that way. You’re either hard left or you’re hard right… I’m not with any of these; I feel like there’s a third way. There’s no existing side that describes what I’m looking for yet…I’m fundamentally anti-authoritarian – that’s just my nature.” I don’t think the wrong language should preclude the right intentions, and also you can see he’s talking about polarisation and the eradication of nuance (which is like, hmmm, who could it possibly benefit if people can’t meet in the middle, agree to concede even a little, or see their opposers as basically human. Who, I wonder).

It also strikes me that the ‘left’ Matt is talking about is most certainly not the American left either. It’s proper, radical anarchy. It’s a complete overhaul of democratic systems, and certainly far from even a pipe dream in mainstream American politics.

So maybe it’s just a very American reading of political beliefs of people not from America? And in the wave of everything that’s been happening, all of the rest of us have also forgotten how to read global politics. Somehow, all of us but Matt apparently. Makes me want to zoom out a bit; idk, I’ve just thought about this before and wanted to write it down somewhere. This seemed the blog to do it.

Anyway, if you haven’t, I do recommend reading that NME interview, it allows Matt to elaborate a lot more than an Instagram caption or a Twitter post would, and elaborate he did.

#And now it’s back to AI lmao #I logged out yesterday and had such a productive day I think I will do it again #Matt Bellamy #the Muse politsphere #(?) #muse interviews #Muse band #Muse

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in September 11th and 12th, 2023 🎀

Did not have the time to make one yesterday as I didn't get home til almost 11 pm and was so tired that i immediately passed out. I had a really good day today(Tuesday), tho! I ordered a bunch of stationery off of Stationery Pal and Kawaii pen shop, and ahhhh, I love all of it, and they BOTH came in less than a week after I placed my order. The quality of everything is *chefs kiss* and I am so excited to start using all this stuff in my university academics as well as my self study goals! I might even switch back to paper notes because of all the stuff I bought, who knows.

Will not include What I Ate as I honestly don't remember, I am very tired at the moment(Tuesday night), having run most of today with 3 hours of sleep. This check in is going to be a bit more on the self care self compassion side as I had a rough two days honestly.

🩷 Personal Achievements -

Washed my hair

Made it to both classes on time

Organized my new stationery in my desk

Cooked steak *actually* good in my food fundamentals class

🩷 Academic Achievements -

Completed a PSYC writing assignment

Completed NUTR assignment

Completed pre lab quiz for my Anatomy Lab

Completed Osmosis lab report

Earned my Human Subjects Research Training certificate for my PSYC class

(I’m certified to use human subjects in research studies at my university for the next 3 years now, how cool!?)

Should I make a post about the stationery I got? Like a haul/review post? Let me know what you think! It’s all pretty aesthetic so I would love to share my opinions on the quality of the stuff I bought….and I bought a lot of stuff without realizing it!

🩷 As of today, Wednesday September 13th, here’s a little academic todo list for today:

Weekly Writing for my Food Fundamentals class

Take my Exam 1 for my NUTR class

Read Chapter 11 for my Personal Finance class + take notes on IPad

Complete my Nutrition Log for my Fitness for Health and Sport class

Study Japanese for 20+ minutes

🩷 And here’s a little personal to do list for today:

Change current fitted bed sheet to new one I just bought and washed, throw away old one

Take my bedroom trash out, throw out package box

Clean bathroom completely

Sweep bedroom

Organize desk more efficiently

Wash my current dirty laundry

Put away previous clean laundry

Change clear shower liner to my new one

Throw out old carpets and replace with new ones

Follow my skincare routine (my face is begging to be taken care of again)

Possibly hang up my string lights with clips behind my desk and attach BTS photos to clips 💜

Budget for paycheck tomorrow

This check in was definitely a little different than the others, especially cause I started it last night but had to save it as a draft cause I nearly fell asleep while typing it up. I will definitely post an update tonight to see how much of my to do lists I accomplished! Looking forward to having today to myself, as I didn’t go to class due to the extreme rain we’re having (I walk to my campus as I do not drive…at all) and I’m completely home alone today! Let the productivity begin!

Til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

#pink pilates girl #pink pilates princess #self care #self development #self love #wonyoungism #health & fitness #it girl #mental health #physical health #language learning goals #language learning tips #studyblr #college studyblr #university student #student life #it girl energy #that girl energy #vanilla girl #pink academia #pink blog #girl blogger #coquette girl #dream girl #girlblogging #girly blog #that girl #kpop aesthetic #pink aesthetic #study aesthetic

[mupfinsmiley]

03/01/2024 - Log/ Day 3/100 Days of Productivity

Date: 03.01.2024 Weather: 7C, Rainy, Bouts of Sunshine Location: Germany

I am slowly getting more into work. I slept in again today. I am still in the process of fixing my sleep schedule and having another person here is both very helpful and not at all.

I have been kind of tense all day. I think it has to do with my bed and the way I laid down. But I have some very gifted hands by my side to massage me.

I finally did some more Kanji practice today. I am making slow progress but progress none the less. It is so weird to me how I have no trouble learning certain Kanji when in a sentence but once they appear on my flashcards I am completely lost.

As of now I haven done my temperature blanket square yet. I'll either do that now or do two tomorrow. I don't want to get into the habit of pushing things but my tension is causing a headache which makes it hard to focus.

I had a meeting at 3 which went really well. But it also took a lot out of me. Social interaction does that to a person.

And I finished some documents for work. Technically ex-work, since I'll be leaving for Japan soon. I want to leave the others with a good idea of what I did and how they can deal when encountering certain situations. I've gotten so used to these things, that they have become like second nature to me.

The boyfriend and I watched "X" today (following Pearl yesterday) and he liked it. But not as much as pearl. No front to Mia Goth, but the crocodile steals the show every time ;) I think next year I am going as Pearl, so that I can be the STAR at any party.

I'll wind down now. Write in my journal, read something, maybe crochet that square, who knows.

#student #studyblr #motivation #productivity #study #self care #100 days of productivity #self love #cottagecore #writing #journal #log #diary #study motivation #write #writer

[iamlearningseries]

100dop_04

First - Previous - Next - Last

December 4th, 2023

Review of the day:

Gratitude log.

Had class.

Invested time with loved ones.

Studied the topic I have to understand for my final project.

Weekly update of the book I'm currently reading (page 358/922).

Continued the construction of my Sims house (second floor rooms currently in the making).

Updated digital notes.

Updated my binder folder.

Crossed out some of the "less important" tasks I had to do.

Read the book I'm currently reading (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix).

I still have some things that I haven't crossed out of my to-do tasks, but I'm happy because I have been able to do some that I had been postponing for a few days now. And I am so glad that I did, I feel motivated right now!

I haven't finished watching the video I was watching yesterday hahah, I'm still missing an hour... but of that I am actually quite proud, since it means that I'm 50% done, hooray!

And also... yes, I think that continuing the construction of my Sims house is productive, mainly because I like constructing dream houses and that my Sims have the "good environment" thing showing up in how they're feeling. I love The Sims :].

#100 days of productivity #100dop #productivity challenge #college life #motivation #productivity #goal setting #iamlearningseries #personal development #student

[effervescentdragon]

Re your interviewers not even sure what to ask anymore ask, that’s me but with the fandom lol. I’m literally this close to just starting to translate all of Toto’s German interviews just to feel like there is Any reason for me to still be here doing Stuff in this fandom, like what am I doing, exactly? Make predictable guesses as to who’s gonna win, only get surprised by DNFs and engine failures and battling in the mid-field, have my grandpa tell me ‘the races have really been going downhill’ and log off??

i posted sth about jude bellinghams dick game on insta on main yday and og bff asked me what im compensating for w footie posting and should he be worried abt my mental state and i said f1, because im just not incentivised to watch it anymore at the moment? im hoping it changes when races stop being so early - i am sad i missed nico's commentary the most tbh. i guess fandoms come and go and things get more and less interesting but the thing for me is - if im not enjoying it, i won't make myself watch/read/do it just because i've made it my Thing. i can have many Things. we all can. i think, when something doesn't bring joy, its good to step back. give yourself time. f1 will be there. 🫂

i also think there is this insidious thing that you have to be "productive" in a fandom, that you have to do, be doing something to justify your presence in it. i know i've felt off because im not churning out 10 ficlets a day anymore, but the fact is - you don't have to DO anything to BE in the fandom (this feels like some metaphor for life but i only took one sip of coffee today so far). fandom is about enjoyment, yohr enjoyment and sharing that enjoyment with people who also love a certain piece of media or whatever. this capitalist bullshit of treating a fandom space like it's a job (what am i contributing? have i met my quota of posting about my blorbo today? how many followers do i have?) like... who the fuck cares. i still count myself into the silm fandom and i havent posted about it in ages. doctor who, star trek, hell, fucking x men and cap america and hannibal and so many things. i am still a fan of so many things that bring me enjoyment. thats why im a fan in a fandom.

i guess what i'm teying to say is that its really hard sometimes, when you lose interest or get disheartened by someting thats brought you joy before. when you feel like you're "failing" at liking something. but i try to remember - im a person, i have interests, interests change. a thing i loved isnt that anymore. okay. not okay, but it's fine. you may find joy again, you may surorise yourself, or you may just drift to something else. you're no less you, and no less a fan, if your intensity isn't the same now as it was yesterday or a decade ago. and with f1... its changing so much that its honestly pretty understandable to feel that way. bff stopped watching during the seb era, came back when it looked like seb might win w ferrari, then skipped the whole lewis era. og bff skipped merc domination era completely. my cousins husband stopped watching the moment alonso won. ive had friends stop watching the moment max won. it happens.

what im saying, too fucking long and winded bcs apparently im in a mood today - dont force yourself into something that doesnt bring you joy. theres so much joy to be found in this world deapite everything, and you're no less you for losing an interest in a fandom.

#akira answers asks #lovely moots 💕 #this got long and i hope it makes sense in some way. or helps. idk. #f1

[justplainwhump]

Job satisfaction

Tyler struggles to keep a facade in front of his colleagues and learns the whereabouts of Tara's informant.

Written for @whumptober 2022. Will be continued soon.

This is for Day 16, "no way out" and day 19, knees buckling.

A part of Tyler's arc.

Cw for BBU, institutionalised whump, facility whump, a bunch of professionally horrible people (WRU handlers and managers), referenced dehumanisation, (newly) reluctant whumper pov, shortly referenced noncon/dubcon (WRU romantic training), referenced torture

Tyler took the bus to work. He'd drunk too much vodka last night to be able to drive safely. He pressed his forehead to the window, greenish suburbs passing by the windows in a blur until the gray buildings of the industrial zone took over. Facility 002 was located far outside the city.

Hard to reach. Easy to control.

In his pocket, his fingers fiddled with his access card. It didn't say his name, didn't even say the company name, just a plain number, but still he had always kept it hidden. Odd, he realized. He'd told himself over and over again that he just did a job. People in his generation did what earned them money, and tried to be good at it. Nobody identified with what they did, or their employer, he was just like them, right?

Then why had he never told anyone? Even when it had all technically been legal, when he'd been working with voluntary acquisitions. Security, that's what he'd said when asked about his job. Corporate security for some high tech lab. Nobody had ever waited to know more.

The bus' doors opened with a hiss. "Industry Park South Entrance," the automated voice announced. "Last stop. This bus terminates here."

Tyler started, needed a second to find orientation, before he grabbed his backpack and got off. There were just a handful of other passengers left. All here for the same destination. A janitor, a receptionist. Did they tell others where they worked, he wondered.

Did it matter? They didn't do what he did. They weren't handlers. He remembered 238's screams last night, played to her over and over by him. He remembered the countless times he'd slept with her. He remembered her brown eyes, serious and solemn, when she'd told him 'I don't think I signed up for this'.

He'd taught her to never say it again.

Tyler wanted to scream. Instead, he put on an easy smile, nodded to the security officer at the entry, as he swiped his card. It hurt. The edges of the plastic card had cut into his palm, after clutching it too tightly. The pain felt oddly comforting.

"You're late."

Tyler looked up, meeting the gaze of Alex from Client Relations. Squinted dark eyes took him in critically, no doubt noticing the rings underneath Tyler's eyes, the slight trembling of his hands.

"Had a long shift yesterday," he mumbled. "Didn't sleep well."

"I know. Log out at 12.37 am," Alex said without even looking somewhere to check. They weirded him out. "No idea what you did that long, nor do I want to know, honestly. Anyway. Senior Handler Nguyen wants a word before you go in. He's in his office."

Shit.

Tyler nodded numbly. "Yeah. Uh. Thanks."

When he turned towards the office floor, Alex' hand stopped him. "I really don't care," they said. "But he didn't seem like he'd care much, either."

Tyler frowned at them, but they'd already pulled back their hand and were staring at their tablet.

"Oh. Important call. First product specification with Judge Nicholls." They rolled their eyes. "It's her fourth pet, and she's always such a diva. Anyway." Alex' looked Tyler down once again. "If you're sick, don't stay too close to me. There's a cabinet full of prescription drugs at Doctor Wood's office. She'll get you up to peak performance in no time."

"I'm goo-"

"Shhh." Alex was on the phone already, gesturing for him to shut up and pointing impatiently at Alan's office.

*

"238's a mess today," Alan said, without any preface. He didn't even look up from his papers. It felt odd, standing here still in civilian clothes and waiting for a uniformed handler to judge him. "You deviated from protocol, Parker. Why?"

Because it was easier to beat her and cause her pain than to fuck her while she pretended to enjoy it. Because like that, at least, they'd both known it was fucking wrong what was happening.

"Protocol for her current training phase is to simulate a domestic environment, Sir." Tyler crossed his hands in front of him and looked at the tips of his sneakers, hoping Alan wouldn't watch him too closely. His boss was insanely good at spotting a lie. Tyler could just hope that right now, he wasn't looking for one. "I've read her file and that on her prospective owner's other pet. He'd use pain in a domestic environment. So I prepared her for that."

"Huh." The rustling of paper indicated that Alan had put the file down. He hadn't been reading it anyway, Tyler wagered. Alan was playing mind games, always. And even though Tyler saw it happening, he usually got caught in them anyway. Alan was a master on his playing field.

He remembered, that on their first meeting, he had aspired to be like Alan one day. It felt ages ago. "I appreciate the initiative. Bold move though, to not discuss it with me beforehand." He paused. "Bold move especially, coming from you, Parker."

"I… I like to do things right. This, um. This didn't seem bold to me. It was within my scope of decision. I thought."

Alan chuckled quietly. "Well that does sound more like you for sure. Next time, write that reasoning down in your report, too."

Tyler nodded, trying to hide the relief in his voice. "Of course."

"I ordered solitary for her for two days or three. The uncomfortable kind. I think your intuition was right. She needs to take any attention her owner gives her as affection. So we lock her up, let her crave any human touch, and you'll get back to her the day after tomorrow and give her both. Fuck her and hurt her. Fuck her hard. And if she doesn't get it, she'll get one more day of solitary, and we'll try again."

Tyler felt a hard knot in his stomach. Fuck her and hurt her. Again and again and again. That was his job. In contrast to her, he had signed up for it.

Alan didn't seem to register his discomfort. "We have all the time, her prospective is overseas for the next six weeks."

"Good."

It wasn't enough, it seemed, because Alan paused for a moment. "Everything alright, Parker? I'm giving you praise, and a break for today. You're unusually passive about it."

Tyler cleared his throat. "Bad night. Personal, Sir."

"Huh. Don't let it interfere with your work." Alan tilted his head. "I was thinking about filling you in on one of my other cases today. But in that case, let's postpone it. You can go ask Handler Thompson if she's got some work for you while 238 is on hold. Heard her bragging about some special assignment."

Carly. Tyler had to hold back not to grimace. He'd tried to befriend her, in the beginning. Always important to be on good terms with the colleagues, after all. But she was… something else. Something he never wanted to be. He should've understood back then, already.

"Sir, maybe I should-"

"Her methods are very different from mine. I don't think highly of her. But you can learn from her nonetheless."

Tyler swallowed. "I… Sir, I thought I might just call in sick for the day."

"Huh." Alan raised an eyebrow. "Well. If it's that bad, I guess there's no better day than today either. Good work, in any case." Something fell on his shoulder, and Tyler flinched before he realized it was Alan's hand, in a rare gesture of reassurance. "You're on a good path, Parker. Keep that private life separate from work and vice versa, look closely at how things work in this facility, and your next career move won't take long to come. You have a lot of potential. Use it."

Tyler didn't feel like it.

*

He managed to pull himself together as he left the office. Still in his civilian clothes, he felt the weight of his phone in the pocket of his jeans. He'd go home and call Tara. He'd meet her and come clean with her and he'd convince her to be safe.

"Hey, T!"

Tyler almost flinched when he heard Carly's voice. She was sitting in Alex' office, lounging in the visitor chair with her feet on their desk, pointedly ignoring their eye roll. "Short day, or have you pulled an all nighter with that raunchy trainee of yours? She as flexible as she looks?"

"Very," Tyler said.

Carly grinned. "Too bad your boss doesn't let me touch her. I'd love to give her some... specialty training." She put two fingers to her mouth and finished the gesture with a slow flick of her tongue. As if they wouldn't have understood before.

"Not on her training plan," Alex' voice was flat, almost a little bored, but Tyler still noted some annoyance. "She's in the box today anyway. Tyler is off duty. In contrast to you."

Tyler raised his eyebrows, but didn't inquire, how the hell Alex managed to get their hands on information that quickly.

"Oh, I have plenty time." Carly smirked. "Got my pet lib bitch strung up in a nice little stress position. She's going to be soft as a kitten when I get back with her."

"Technically, she's not pet lib," Alex corrected coldly. "These potential sign-ups she made trouble about, they weren't pets. She's anti WRU. There's a distinction."

"She messed with our business. And she is working with pet lib, I'm sure about that. Two or three hours more with her, and I promise she'll spit out some names."

Tyler leaned to the door frame as casually as he could. He feared his legs would give out. "Who -?"

"002242. Our latest acquisition. Social worker. Seriously interfered with recruitment down town."

'My informant was arrested', Tara's voice echoed in his head. 'WRU recruiters all but hunting homeless kids. Tried to do something about it. Now she's gone.'

He didn't feel well.

"We...," Tyler cleared his throat. "I thought involuntary acquisitions meant custom orders."

"It is a custom order. Internal one. Director Fisher's. He's unhappy with pet lib and anti WRU sentiment in this town. Need to smother some voices, re-educate some others. Luckily, it's just a small number compared to the ones that actually bring us money. Financially, each of these trainees is a disaster. Can't offer them via our website, can't give them to anyone who keeps their pets in public - at least nobody local, and shipping pets overseas is such a hassle."

"Your perspective is so cold, Al." Carly rolled her eyes, ignoring Alex' quiet correction, "Alex."

"Talking like they're objects, not people, with real feelings." She swung her legs off the table to lean in. "Feelings, Al. Pain. Despair. Fucking bleak and hopeless sadness. And that little, devastating moment when they understand that this is it." She all but moaned. "Fuck, I could drink that in with a straw."

She checked her watch and got to her feet. "Time to work on that, I guess. Cheers, Al. T, you coming? I could need a hand."

"Actually, Tyler has signed o-"

"Sure." Tyler talked over Alex, feigning a grin of his own. "Yeah. I'm in."

Carly bumped her fist into his shoulder. "Great, buddy. I promise, working with these assholes before the Drip, it's even better than fucking them later." She let out a chuckle. "And doing it both? Man, that's the real thing. Fuck, I love my job."

I don't, Tyler thought, with the dawning realisation it was far too late for that.

#whumptober2022 #no way out #knees buckling #no.19 #no.16 #oc #bbu #facility whump #reluctant whumper #noncon reference #tylers story #handler tyler parker #Alex Nadler #Alan Nguyen #tyler parker

[100dayproductivity]

25/100.

I am sooo tired today. Anyone else? 🙋‍♀️ One thing I am noticing about myself is that my energy comes in ebbs and flows. Or maybe it's fits and spurts? 🤔 I can have a really energized, productive couple of days, then I crash. And I'm always trying to fight this/feel guilty about it. Maybe it's time to allow myself to go with my own flow instead of fighting against it all the time.

So today is a crash day. Feeling burnt out. I've wasted a lot of time today, playing games on my phone on the couch. But sort of feeling bored with doing nothing as well. So I thought I might as well update Tumblr on my venture into bullet journaling.

It's only been a few days but going well so far. I've been writing absolutely every little task, and sub-task, that pops into my head. Has really helped me keep on track. I'm finding that I feel a little more relaxed when I jot something down because I know that as long as I keep referring to my list, I won't forget anything I was going to do. It could be something as simple as not forgetting that there are wet clothes in the wash that need to be put in the dryer. Or that I need to remember to pick up some milk on my way back from the post office. Jotting it down seems to free up some mental energy I would normally use to keep these little tasks in the back of my mind while doing larger tasks. It's also been helping me be more efficient. A few times I've noticed that while looking over my to-do list, I've been able to batch tasks together to save time and energy.

Right now I'm not feeling too anxious about doing nothing because I know what's on my list and there isn't anything on it that I can't do tomorrow. And, knowing me, after a crash like this, I will feel energized and productive again (eventually).

So, about the bullet journaling specifically: I'm starting with the bare bones, basic "core" layouts as per the Ryder Carol original bullet journal. Index, Future Log, Monthly, Weekly, Daily. No art, no fancy layouts, no frills. I added a reading log right away, as I'm currently trying to meet reading goals every night. And I just added a lights out/wake up log a couple of nights ago.

I know that you are supposed to customize your journal to your own needs, and I'm already thinking about some changes. I've already started doing a "rolling daily log" instead of migrating unfinished tasks every day. I just scratch out yesterday's date and put today's. If some unfinished tasks get left behind too many pages back, I'll migrate them then.

I'm also thinking about maybe dividing the daily log into three sections horizontally per page. As a task pops into my head, I'll jot it down in one of the three sections based on: a) priority and b) time of day. For instance, the other day I needed to remember that a neighbour was dropping by in the evening to discuss something and I had to remember to give her back her key then. It was jotted down halfway up the page, and there were a bunch of tasks that I jotted down, and completed, after it. With the three sections method, I would have instead jotted it down further down the page in the third section. That way, it wouldn't have gotten lost in the weeds of all the tasks I completed earlier in the day. I think this will just help me visually keep a rolling list of tasks that mostly get completed from top to bottom. As well, some tasks can only be done at certain times of day (i.e. during regular business hours). So if, for instance, there's something that doesn't really matter when it gets done but, when it does, it should preferably be in the morning, I'd always jot that down in the first section of the daily log. If I miss doing it, I migrate it over to the next morning's section. I'm thinking there's probably other ways I can divide the daily log page as well, like a section for kitchen chores, a section for online chores and a section for errands. That would help me batch tasks together. But I'm sure a logical setup will shake itself out as I continue using the journal.

Something I've learned about the bullet journal community: I've been watching YouTube videos for "beginner bullet journaling" and I'm beginning to understand that some people spend a lot of time making their bullet journals pretty. Like, maybe too much time. Like, maybe to the point where they quit bullet journaling because it takes too much time. Or, they don't even get started in the first place because all they see are these beautiful, trending journals and they have a panic attack before even cracking open their shiny, new, $125-dollar, leather-bound, gold-embossed, hand-made organic paper harvested on a new moon notebook. That seems like such a shame. I think we need a counter-trend: mediocre bullet journaling. I'll start. Here are the daily log pages (circled in blue) of my mediocre bullet journal. It's been about 5 days and I have three full pages of bullets already! The first two pages of bullets mostly have a lovely x beside them 👍💪

It'll be fun to look back on this and see what changes I make to the layout as I get further along in the practice.

P.S. My cataract surgery was cancelled!! Rescheduled for next week 😮‍💨 I think this is mainly why I'm feeling burnt out. I spent a lot of mental energy preparing for this last week, and now the adrenaline is gone.

#100 days of productivity #100dop #to do list #chores #procrastination #declutter #cleaning #get motivated #bullet journal #bullet journaling #bujoblr #bujo aesthetic #bujoinspo #bujo spread #bujo #cataract removal #cataract surgery

[risu5waffles]

Watching @soupum 's stream yesterday was definitely the highlight of a pretty murky day. The kid has chops; i had a great time, we all supported a good cause, it was heartwarming and fun.

Which, let me tell you, i really, really needed. Had a headache start setting in round the end of Tuesday's shift, and it just kept kicking my arse even through aspirin most all Wednesday. i've been getting headaches more frequently recently, and that bothers me. None of them, thank Entropy, have been migraines; it's been a while since i was getting those on the monthly, and they really kicked the stuffing out of me. But still, in the end, regular old garden variety headaches can be just as enervating, and any continuing change in health for the worse is a cause for at least light concern.

But it was my day off, and i couldn't just watch a stream all day, as good a time as it may have been, my brainmeats wouldn't have let me hear the end of it. i got some recording and editing done to catch us up to next Friday. i'd really wanted to work on my big project, but the spoons and thinking power just weren't there. This one's important to me, and i really don't want to fuck it up.

So, i thought, why don't i toss together a little hub, quick-like, you know? Nothing too flash, maybe practice a bit wiv parallax (i will always go to bat for a good endless scrolling parallax). This was not exactly not a brainmeats-intensive thing to do, and it certainly wasn't quick, but it was low stakes enough that it didn't amp up my anxiety, and let me feel i was being productive for myself, not like a thing i had to do.

i like how it turned out, really. For a real simple set up, it's relatively effective. i'm going to want a few more layers of depth to really make it look good, and i think the water and land layers here should be swapped, so it doesn't look like the train is up to its windows in a river, but yeah, it works. Something i figured out working on the big project, that little Savannah section of it, is if you've got your cameras tight enough, you really don't need to be emitting all that many things as once. When i did this for the old review show, and i think the environmental pieces were traveling almost to the end of the create mode space before getting destroyed, even though we were using an viewable area not much larger that what we see in this set. That was simply way too much, and it played all holy hell wiv the thermo.

The set is haunted tho'. Like, i had so many weird buggy things happen trying to put together this train. i was lucky that i thought to at least snag footage of the entire car getting deleted when i rewound, but, like, that was the third time it had happened. i have absolutely no idea why. Something deep in my profile is seriously fucked. i suppose it's not surprising since it's been active since almost LBP1's release, and has been used across two regions' games, two systems, and a handle change.

Fun fact, this is probably the second or maybe possibly third time i've ever used the phrase girlcock, so you can log that in your lore books, i suppose.

#littlebigplanet #little big planet #lbp #lbp3 #dev diary #drawing board #Youtube

[vee-is-a-clown]

Log Entry #5

Red,

I'm still regretting yesterday. I have 5 more days until Lance starts working here. I'm still not confident about doing this. I don't know what made me so confident in the first place.

There's a fine line between confidence and stupidity. I seem to have crossed it. I was so impulsive. I didn't think about the long term effects of my plan.

I'm going to wait until tomorrow to actually talk about it with anyone because I don't want to think about it right now. I'll have to see about accomodations with Allura tomorrow. I'm afraid of what she's say. I'm going to teach a human to be able to practice an art exclusive to magical beings.

I'm a horrible teacher. Once, I had to explain to a patient's family member how Shiro was fixing the patient and Adam had to come in and explain after 30 minutes. How am I going to explain magic to a human?

I'm going to try to stop talking about how I'm an idiot and I regret my decisions now because the more I write, the longer I dwell on it. I wish there was a way to just turn off my brain. I stressed myself out so much that I wasn't able to be the least bit productive today.

I didn't make any potions today.

#voltron #keith voltron #vld keith #keith kogane #klance #vld lance #lance voltron #lance mcclain #witch's herbal tea #Witch's Herbal Tea log

[quaranmine]

playing doctor on myself this morning with google and losing my mind just a bit

i keep. over the course of the last two years at least. randomly getting these blotchy red rashes on my torso. they don't itch or hurt, they aren't raised, and they seem completely random. i cannot figure it out or any link between it appearing. It will typically last several hours. they do not go on my face, neck, or limbs, just the torso. i don't think theyre like dangerous??? because i assume that if they were i would have some adverse reaction like pain, fever, swelling, etc. so that is why i have not been overly concerned with it. but it is baffling me. now sometimes in the past i have gotten extremely itchy for no reason on my torso, so maybe that's a factor, but the itchiness does not always coincide with the rash. for example, today there is none.

the thing i'm interested in today though, is if it's some sort of drug allergy rash. because it always looks exactly like the rash i got last year when i took paxlovid for my covid infection. the doctor told me that's a common (harmless) reaction. i've looked it up and it looks most like a morbilliform drug reaction which are very common. so, if morbilliform drug reactions look and behave like that, i had that reaction to taking a drug, and a doctor told me it was a reaction to the drug then....

...it stands to reason that my experiencing this off and on for 2-3 years might ALSO be a similiar reaction? i just can't figure out the common thread.

one of my meds is implicated as a cause for this type of rash, and has studies/journal articles on it causing this. EXCEPT. um, it happens when you are first introduced to taking it??? and like dude i've been taking this particular medication since 2016 probably. i'm sure anything is possible (like developing new sensitivies) but nothing i have read is about reactions popping up YEARS after the fact, just within 1-3 weeks of starting it. i saw a study done on someone who developed the rash after taking the medicine, but 5 days after first taking it. i saw another study/journal article that was written as a diagnostic aid that literally excluded any drugs you'd been on for a few months as not the cause. so??? idk. my other medicine does not seem to be implicated in this, as when i looked it up i didn't really get anything.

i'm no biochemist or whatever but i can't seem to find any similarities between my med and paxlovid? like ok, we've established that either the nirmatrelvir or ritonavir that is in paxlovid likely caused it. that's what the doctor said. he said my reaction was a common one to one of the drugs in that mixture, which lines up with everything i have read. but afaik these drugs arent like....similiar to the one i have been taking...it isnt like "oh these are the same drug class so maybe your issue is with them"....

the other (relevant) drug implicated in these types of reactions are NSAIDS. now this could be something. i did take ibuprofen yesterday, and woke up with the reaction. is that it? i'm going to start logging it every time it happens to see if it ever coincides with me recently taking ibuprofen. BUT LIKE. i take ibuprofen pretty frequently, mostly for headaches. this reaction might only happen once every two or three months. i feel like if i were getting a reaction from ibuprofen it would happen every time, not just once in a blue moon?

so why am i experiencing it today???? i'm not wearing any clothing made from atypical materials. i havent used any new shower products. i havent tried any new medicines for a while. i havent eaten anything i don't normally have. none, except for the paxlovid rash, coincide with me being sick so i doubt it's viral.

if it IS a mobilliform drug reaction, it still seems atypical because a) i havent started anything new b) it goes away within a few hours, not days/weeks c) it isn't always itchy

WHERE IS THE COMMON LINK AND HOW DO I FREE MYSELF OF THIS?

#like i said it's not particularly worrying (no pain etc) but it does LOOK very alarming #and i'm annoyed that i have been totally unable to identify any ideas about it #i have a dermatolgist appointment in july i will bring it up then #the other thing is that if it is a morbilliform drug reaction those can sometimes take a few weeks to show up after the first interaction #so would i even know? would i ever be able to identify the culprit???? #i would love to think it's heat related but it doesnt look like a heat rash or necessarily show up when i'm overheated #medical tw

[adultswim2021]

The Boondocks #21: “Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf-Bitch” | November 19, 2007 - 11:30PM | S02E06

In this episode, Granddad winds up on a blind internet date with a beautiful woman voiced by Aisha Tyler. What a wonderful turn of events for him; especially because he’s been on a string of dates with some DISHONEST WOMEN, who have shown up to dates not looking like their significantly more wankable myspace profile photograph. Could it be too good to be true?

Yes, it could. It turns out that the woman, Luna, is a deadly kung-fu martial artist with an affinity for wolves (hence the title). She spooks the entire family so bad that they feign an emergency trip out of town in order to ghost her. When she finds out she reacts poorly, mostly because of her bitchy-sounding friend who eggs her on to do some Kill Bill shit to them over the phone.

This is sort of a goofier one. Not really much hard-hitting satire to speak of, just a wacky plot about love gone wrong. There’s flashbacks to the woman’s past, including her time at a kumite, the underground tournament to the death from the motion picture Bloodsport. She won, in scenes that resemble the high video game Mortal Kombat. But will she bestow a Mortal Kombat 2 style “Friendship” on the Freeman family?

The goofiness of the episode is really essential. The main problem one might have with this episode is the way the family reacts to Luna’s confession that she is a deadly fighter. There doesn’t seem to be much of a downside to just accepting her and her past, especially since the alternative to that plays out so poorly for our favorite non-yellow family. The fact that this confrontation results in her undoing (spoilers: she dies at the end) is bothersome, because she’s a pretty likable character. She’s misguided in a way that shouldn’t be fatal, and yet she is. But the goofy tone sorta does away with that. I was genuinely curious if this episode was particularly disliked for this reason, but it gets fairly above average marks on IMDB, so I guess they succeeded. Speaking of yellow families, this almost works as a companion piece to “Homer’s Enemy” (aka the Frank Grimes episode). It’s comparable! I’ve compared the two, goddamn it.

I’m just glad this one didn’t have a bunch of rap references to read up on. Thank you, Boondocks.

EPHEMERA CORNER

MAIL BAG

I started my post two nights ago (sorry for missing a night I GOT UNEXPECTEDLY BUSY YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME) by telling you about my gastrointestinal distress. I am going to use this space to tell you that today I brought a bottle of astroglide to work with me because I did not shit all day yesterday, and I could tell that it was going to be an ordeal. I lubed my canal while in a clandestine public bathroom on my workroute. I let out an enormously long one, very sturdy I’m pleased to say. But then I dumped so much mud on top of it that it crested the surface of the water in the toilet. When I looked down, the solid log was laying across the hole, and the mud dump on top caused the resulting mess to look uncannily like a banana split. I’m pleased to say there was no strawberry sauce. I had to flush three times to get it all down.

Speaking of shit, here’s some letters I got reacting to yesterday’s Tim & Eric post:

90s SNL is just as bad as any other era of SNL. Mike Meyers and Rob Schneider just did straight up retarded shit every week, it just had cooler bands.

Oh, I think the SNL renaissance is real. But the quality is more negligible than most people realize. Watching full episodes of all but a few episodes of the show is a chore, always.

The John Landis remark on your absolutely scathing takedown of Vacation is astounding. I've seen nitpicking but that's a nit no one can scratch. Also theres like 20 incidents of that kind of pull way in Tom Goes To The Mayor.

Tom Goes to the Mayor is an inferior product compared to Awesome Show, and deserves a more critical eye. Especially since season one of Awesome Show dazzled this TV-obsessed Weldon.

yer vacation thing is nuts. some real hater/cinema sins shit. raz is funny!

I think I ultimately like the episode, I am pretty disappointed that the wraparound bits weren’t as strong. Season premiere, guys. Look alive. I yelled at a woman for you (one of the people who came over was a sexually active woman!)

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #tim and eric awesome show great job

[disgruntled-detectives]

I wish everyone had a boss like mine.

So I’m sick as FUCK. It’s just a bad cold but it’s still awful. Fever, body aches, I can’t sleep cause I’m routinely coughing up gunk, my throat hurts, the gambit. I had to call out yesterday because I was feeling so awful, even though we were going through an accreditation thing and it was a “all hands on deck” sort of day. I felt awful about it, but I could hardly breathe. (I tested myself it’s not Covid. It’s just an awful cold)

Today, im feeling a little better. Still wheezy and sneezy and coughing but not feverish anymore and my coughing is a lot more productive. And I can sorta taste and smell again. So I decide to WFH cause I do not want to get it in the office. But I still wanna work.

So I take a call and she listens in (it’s for a brand new line of business so right now higher ups are listening to every call we take for it) and she pings me. With “hey can I call you?” I reply sure, thinking I did something wrong on the call, or something. So she calls me and the first thing she says is “May I ask why you’re working today?” And I explained that I felt terrible for calling out the day before. I had even agreed to come in early to help out and I wound up having to call out.

She told me to log off, drink some soup and get some sleep. That she wants me healthy and not to worry about them. I agreed I would as soon as I finish the thing I was working on. She then told me I had done a great job on the call.

Like I know it’s the bare minimum to expect your boss to give a shit about your physical well-being but like. I worked jobs where you were expected to show up even if you were dying. I’ve gone in with fevers and stomach bugs and the flu many times in previous jobs. Everyone did. And now. I’m not expected to. I’m expected to rest/recover. It’s nice.

[doublesidedgemini]

11/6 - 11/7

It was a good weekend! I was very productive on Saturday, I slept/lounged in bed until 3 pm on Sunday, played with my dog in the park and then rode my horse! I finally took care of my plants and spent time with my leopard gecko before bed. So naturally, I woke up in a very cranky mood and had a tough day at work 😑

Being an adult is such a drag. Sometimes, this shit feels impossible. I actually broke down crying on my horse at the end of the ride for a few minutes because I just felt so. Tired. And I felt like I didn’t know how I could keep doing this. Idk, more after the cut !

tw: ed vent, wiaiad, cal log, restriction, LONGG post lol

11/6

Breakfast: -vegan protein shake, hot cocoa flavor!! — 110 cals

Lunch: -large hot holiday coffee from Dunkin with oat milk, 2 tbsps sugar, and 4 pumps of toasted almond syrup — after reading the whole entire nutrition menu for dunkin + a lot of math, I think this is like 160 cals total; -Hummus toast - 250 cals

Dinner: -5 spears of sautéed asparagus — 50 cals?? (I have no idea if this is accurate lol); -Impossible burger patty — 240 cals; -Mug of vegetable broth — 15 cals

Snacks: -4 pieces of frosted mini wheats — 40 cals; -1 1/2 peppermint sticks — 75 cals; -5 takis — 58 cals

Exercise: Grooming + riding my horse (she was FILTHY so I had to brush her for a long time lol) -537 cals

Total: 461 cals!!!

11/7

Breakfast: -Celsius, dragonfruit lime packet — 10 cals

Lunch: -2 impossible burger patties — 480 cals; -4 sautéed asparagus spears — 31 cals??

Dinner: -1/4 cup white rice — 50 cals; -Two bites of beans w/ sautéed kale and tomatoes — 12 cals??; -Lightly salted rice cake — 35 cals; -1 tbsp plant based ranch dip — 35 cals; -5 grape tomatoes — 15 cals?

Snacks: -2 frosted mini wheats — 20 cals; -Roasted seaweed snacks, sesame — 50 cals; -1 tbsp peanut butter — 90 cals; -1 serving of takis — 150 cals; -1 1/3 double stuf Oreos — 93 cals; -1 serving honey roasted peanuts — 170 cals

Exercise: Walked my dog a bunch, did 100 squats spread out during work, might do some sit-ups + leg raises in bed before sleep :) -62 cals

Total: 1,180 cals

So, not great lol. But still under 1,200 which is what MFP’s recommendation is for me to lose weight, so I’m still losing even with this total! And honestly. Fuck it. I needed those two impossible burger patties. I needed the protein. Idk, between breaking down at the barn yesterday and having a bad day at work, I just needed the extra.

That’s what upset me so bad at the barn… I can’t restrict as much as I see other people on here because I literally have to stay awake & alert to take care of my horse. I HAVE to be “with it” to keep both her and myself safe. It’s a 34 minute drive out to the barn, I HAVE to have the energy to drive back and forth. Even though I did eat before I went out yesterday, it wasn’t enough and I was exhausted and we had an okay ride but she was frustrating me and I was yelling and getting frustrated and then I was upset with myself because it’s not her fault I’m not at 100% :(

Idk, I cried a lot when I got off and she let me cry on her, I groomed her up, gave her some treats, and went home. She was fine. I was fine. I felt better today except for being so damn tired all day! I didn’t go out to the barn tonight; I stayed in and washed my hair and shaved and moisturized, so at least I feel good :)

I need the rest and I need the extra energy. I don’t feel great about eating + snacking so much today but I’m okay with it, plus I did really well over the weekend, so. I think for the rest of the week I’m going to taper down my cals and try another fast over the weekend. <3

Now I’m going to read and go to bed :) If you read this whole entire post you are my bestie now. Sorry. Shouldn’t have read this all 🤣

#gem’s personal ana diary #long ass post #if you read all of this you are an Angel #wiaiad #low cal restriction #high cal restriction #tw calories #tw disordered eating #disordered eating thoughts #edblrr #edbllr

[the-trinket-witch]

My turn for an ask haha!

How would Albert react to Tallis, and Billy?

Reading into Albert’s liking for assisting others, Tallis is always on the look out for potential backstage help with his performances - as well as actors. (The mischievous hummingbird would probably write scripts where Albert’s crush was the play’s love interest. Just to keep things ‘authentic’~)

Billy on the other hand would cut the first person that offers help. Do they think he’s weak? Can’t manage on his own? However, if Albert was sincere about it then perhaps the bear beastman would be willing to repay the deed (he’s not without a bit of chivalry) by helping with Ramshackle’s refurbishments.

"A lil over! Aaaaand Perfect!" "Naturally~" The backdrop was finally in the right spot. All it took was sifting through enough people that Albert was next to be asked. Tallis had been working on the technical aspect of the upcoming production, and Al had just enough upper body strength to slide the canvas over without kicking a fuss or needing incentive. "Ya know, if I got Azul in on it, ya think you'd wanna try out for an understudy?" "Oh that's quite alright-I much prefer working backstage, anyway!" The flush across the human's face at his partner's mention drew out a teasing squawk out of the bird.

If you've heard the term 'Ham to Ham Combat', that would accurately describe these two. At some point, Al might take it as a playful challenge to show Tallis just what he can do. Beware the Puns, though. He'll be happy to offer Tea and Conversation on Pentergeist's roof, just don't wear anything you wouldn't want soot getting on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I don' need yer help." "Not helping-assisting. Isn't that one of Savanaclaw's tenets? Strength in numbers? Besides-wet wood doesn't burn." A tree had been felled, all that was needed was removal of the brush and moving logs to the woodpile. Rumbling thunder forebode of rain to come. Albert had been returning from class when he saw the Bear with a not-small pile still in a heap. While the beastman was still heads taller, and most mages stubborn independent, he hadn't found a lot of folks rebuffing an extra free hand. The two's collection had been just in time, as the darkening sky began to make good on its promise of rain. "Sorry for getting a bit in the way, hopefully things stay dry, now." "Aye, I...guess I aught to say thanks. Let me know if ye need help patchin' anything in that hovel of yours." "I couldn't possibly-it was no big deal." -The Next Day- "W-William? What's going on?" "I told ye yesterday: Ye helped me out, I'm just repayin'. Ye didn't tell me what needed work on, so I asked the Wee One and they said the banister was loose."

Albert always wants to be a helping hand, regardless of reward, but is weird about getting the same energy back XD Don't be surprised if Billy's deed is thanked with a jar of Apple Butter or something.

#twistedwonderland #twst oc #original character #twisted wonderland oc #tallis underplume #albert eastwind #Billy McUrse

[va-diarydash]

A Relaxing Day - The Perfect Weekend

July 29, 2023

Today, I woke up with a heavy head from being sick yesterday. Although I'm still not fully recovered, it's Saturday! No work, no deadlines to deal with – just time for myself and what I want to do.

My usual Saturday would involve me still working, trying to lessen the unfinished tasks, thinking it would reduce the pressure, especially when Monday comes. However, going through this psychotherapy made me decide to prioritize rest for my body and mind, acknowledging their need for it. So today, I tried my best to forget about work, the piling up tasks, and solely focused on resting and relaxing.

I always wake up late on Saturdays since it's the only time when I can do so without an alarm clock. After waking up, I wash up and quickly return to my bed. Despite the cold weather, I leave the aircon on and wrap the blanket around me. Then, I grab my phone to watch random TikTok videos and YouTube content from the creators I follow. It's such a peaceful morning, without any hustle or the need to hurry to log on to my work laptop and finish tasks.

At around 10:30 am, I stopped watching and got out of bed. Despite my mother cooking, I decided to prepare a brunch for myself - my simple favorite meal of scrambled eggs with rice and seaweeds. After eating, I did some household chores and then made myself an Iced Coffee. I took some photos of my coffee and the book I am reading before enjoying the coffee while finishing my book. It was at that moment that I realized, "This is a perfect weekend for me."

After finishing the book, I took some time to ponder my takeaways and lessons learned from it. I enjoy doing this, and usually, I write about it in my Instagram post along with a photo of the book. Then, I decided to pamper myself. Weekdays are busy with work, so I rarely get the chance to take a long bath. Today, I took my time, waxed my legs, applied some bleach, and indulged in a body scrub. The products I used have a delightful scent that lingers on my skin even after the bath. Even though I don't have any plans to go out, I sprayed my favorite perfume after getting dressed, and in my mind, I thought, "Wow, this is so refreshing and it makes me happy."

Then I decided to grab some snacks while playing with my dogs. I love sharing my snack with them, so whoever tags me gets a small piece of it. I haven't done this in a while; usually, I just sit on the floor and wait for them to come near me to give them a snack. After playing tag with my dogs and feeling a bit tired, I decided to revisit the photos I took during our photowalk and also the photo my cousin took of me. I selected some photos and decided to print them so I can put them in my album. I enjoy collecting memories, and I realized that watching the photos get printed and putting them in my album is therapeutic.

I also had some time today to practice sketching the painting I plan to give to my friend. However, I got frustrated because I couldn't achieve the output I had in mind. Then, the pressure started to build up - pressure to create a good painting for my friend. I stopped doing it, and that's when I realized something. Maybe this is why I stopped doing things I used to love before, like reading books, photography, writing, and painting. These activities used to help me relax and forget about work, but now they feel burdened by the pressure I put on myself to meet my own standards and goals. I feel pressured to finish a book each month, pressure to have a perfect story in my photography, pressure to find the perfect words in my writing, and pressure to create a flawless painting according to my own standard. I wonder if this is a part of my Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies, but I'm not sure. One thing is clear, though - I need to overcome this pressure so I can find joy and relaxation in these activities once again, just like I did today.

I don't want to be under pressure, and I don't want to spoil the perfect weekend I'm having, so I decided to stop sketching for now. Instead, I took a breather and chose to read another book that many people have recommended to me. However, this time, I won't force myself to finish it within a month, considering the workload I have on weekdays. I should learn to simply enjoy things without putting too much emphasis on my own goals and standards.

For the first time in a while, I had a different kind of Saturday, not the usual one where I work, sleep, and watch TikTok videos. Today, I can say that I had a productive day, not necessarily at work, but in doing activities that help me relax. What I did today was truly therapeutic. Although I still tend to do things alone and need to work on socializing more, I feel happy and contented. This is because, for the first time in a while, I feel relaxed, and my mind had a break from the pressures of work and life. Though these pressures still pop up at times, I try to push them back and focus on enjoying the activities I did today.

Positive Talk:

- At times, you may lose interest in things you love to do due to putting pressure on yourself. Relax!

- Engage more in activities that bring you happiness and relaxation.

- Taking a rest and break from work can also be productive.

- Try to relax and simply enjoy the things you do.

- Avoid overthinking.

- Simple things can be therapeutic and bring happiness.

#mentalhealth #awareness #photography #mentalhealthawareness #hobby

[intricatefantasy]

March 5, 2023

I have always wanted to keep a journal of my life, and that desire has only grown more as I have aged. However, what we want and what we actually have the time for doesn’t always coincide. 

I have always romanticized this idea of “journaling” and felt that I would only do it justice if I had a hand written journal. But, that takes way too long and just doesn’t fit in with the lifestyle I’m currently living. As I get older though, I’ve come to realize that there are so many happy moments in the past that feel like a blur to me now. I don’t think I can rely on my memory to remember details of everyday life. But I don’t want to forget.

I am in love with my life, and I really want to treasure every moment of it, and to carefully log my days so I can remember them years and years from now. I had the loveliest day yesterday, and so there’s really no time like the present to start writing about my days. Most of my weekdays (M-F) are quite the same. I go to work, get some movement in my day (a walk/hike, yoga/pilates, or the gym), and then I have dinner and settle in for the night. I probably won’t make any journal entries on those days, unless something significant happens. This week, I do have a lot planned for the weekdays so expect more journal posts!

Yesterday was a Sunday, and it stormed the whole night before with some of the longest bouts of thunder I have experienced in my lifetime. To my surprise, I woke up to a beautiful, sunny day. I live in San Francisco, so it was still cold.. but beautiful nonetheless. 

Tim cooked us breakfast bowls, and then I spent most of the morning reading while he played Elden Ring. We planned to head out for the day around 1 PM. I had heard about the Due West craft fair at the Ferry Building, and we also read news that March 5th was the last day the Bay Bridge Lights would be lit, so it was a perfect time to blend those two plans and make a day out of it.

I really love craft fairs as they usually have two of my favorite things (candles & earrings). I managed to restrain myself at this particular craft fair, and only bought two glass, wavy straws in pink and green. I had been meaning to buy them online along with more retro  cups, but it was so much cheaper in person. Tim, as always, had already brought a reusable bag with him to carry anything I wanted to buy for the day. 

We were at the craft fair for an hour, and then walked around the shops in the Ferry Building. A new shop opened up in the building called San Francisco Trading Post that had booths showcasing products from local artists. I really loved this retro pencil sharpener that was made to look like the old ones in elementary schools that you would twist to sharpen. I thought it would make the cutest decoration on my work desk, but it was $200, so Tim said he would just make one for me. I’m going to hold him to this. 

Tim found this interesting book about the history of Yosemite. We are planning a cabin trip to Yosemite from April 28th - May 1st with a few of our friends. Tim already booked it, and it will be his first time visiting the national park so he told me he wants to be as prepared as possible. This means we’re going to rank our top sites, and top hikes so we can make a must-do list. I love dating someone who wants to be as prepared for a trip as I am. 

Afterwards, we got a late lunch at Senor Sisig. I had been so against trying it because it just felt like a bastardization of Filipino cuisine, and honestly way too overpriced. It was good, but I just don’t think I’d pay that much for it ever again. We then continued to walk down Embarcadero and had a plan to embark on the long walk from there to Coit Tower. On the way, we discovered a history walk through the buildings on the Embarcadero and got to take our time and marvel at all the details and photos from the past that we saw.

Tim has been wanting to take me to the Coit Tower for a long time because he wrote his senor thesis on the murals inside the tower. I hadn’t known that these were produced by Public Works and reflected the lives of working class Californians until recently. Once I found out, I couldn’t wait to go see them. One of the best parts of the day wasn’t the tower, but the journey going up. We went on this staircase that intersected with a private garden that people living in the neighborhood had put together. It was a little oasis in the middle of the bustling hillside. 

I couldn’t really capture the beauty of the tucked away garden, but I did take some photos of the rest of the walkway up:

Unfortunately, we made it to the tower at 5:10PM and the building closed at 5PM so we weren’t able to go inside the building to look at all the murals inside. Tim took me along the outside, and I could see glimpses of the murals throw the windows all around the building. We made a plan to come back again at another date, but I still enjoyed the whole journey there even though we’ll have to come back to get the full experience. 

We continued from Coit Tower down to Washington Square Park in North Beach. It’s an area of the city I haven’t yet had the chance to explore in its entirety, so I just felt excited to be wandering around new streets. I always love seeing all the historic architecture in this area, and learning that it used to be called San Francisco’s Latin Quarter and housed a lot of the artists in the city before becoming increasingly gentrified. Tim and I made a plan to come back and have a date at Tony’s since he has yet to eat at the restaurant. 

We got gelato, and then went to City Lights to wait for the sun to come down. We wanted to see the Bay Bridge after sunset once the lights were illuminated again, so we had to wait out the sun. I love going to bookstores with Tim because we both naturally gravitate towards non-fiction books. He’ll read a little, and so will I, and then we’ll discuss interesting historical facts we learned in the short half hour we’re browsing the bookstore. 

Afterwards, we made the walk down Broadway back to the Pier on Embarcadero to get a final glimpse at the Bay Bridge lights. 

I’m really glad I got to enjoy them for their final night with the love of my life in the city we have fallen in love in. We made our way back home after this, and then I stayed at Tim’s and cuddled for a little before heading back to my place. It’s always hard to tear myself from him because I never feel more at home or more comfortable than when I’m laying with him. I just feel like I always sleep better and I always wake up better when he’s next to me.