#I need to figure the romance plot out. soon.

[saintobio]

sincerely yours. (10)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 

tags/warnings. depression, intoxication, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships,

notes. important announcement ! as you all know, this series has always had an extensive approach into detailing the events in its side stories (ie. sera x sukuna x naoya, yuuji x megumi, maki x yuuta x miwa, etc), but while writing the chapters, the word count and the plot building had become too exhausting for me to produce consistently, esp with the amount of scenes and side stories i was introducing to the story, so i've decided it's best for me to stick to the main characters, reader & gojo, and will only add side stories as necessary. this really hurts me knowing that i can't achieve the level of comprehensive writing and world building that i did for sincerely not, but i really want to finish sy as soon as possible and removing a chunk of side stories would be some of the things that'd help me achieve that 😭 i hope you guys understand. hopefully i'll figure out a way to write those side stories instead of completely abandoning them mid-way in this series. but as always, thanks for ur continued support <3

series masterlist -> episode eleven

“It’s a little weird.”

What was supposed to be her bed time had turned into a moment of reflection for Sera who, instead of being fast asleep at this time of the night, had unconsciously brought herself inside Sukuna’s home office to join the up-and-coming tech mogul in his late-night programming. 

She wore her silk pajamas, pacing back and forth in her boyfriend’s office as her mind flew back to the recent encounter she had with her ex-boyfriend. Who knew that Satoru’s kid would look just like a carbon copy of him? No, actually, the question should be: who knew it would be a different woman by his side acting as the mother of his child? Sera had to laugh at herself, shaking her head as she realized how truly and undeniably ridiculous her ex was. It was clear that day that he wasn’t really as loyal of a partner as he claimed himself to be. 

Did he really just go through all those crazy things with you, only to look like a whore-hopping fool now? 

If he was bound to end up with someone else other than you, then why did he have to make Sera’s life miserable in the first place? 

She may have done terrible things before as a selfish and materialistic lover of his, but that wouldn’t change the fact that Satoru also contributed to her role as the side-piece in his marital relationship. He allowed her to cling to him like a mistress. Being his side-piece wasn’t even something that she had forced upon him. It was his promise, an idea that he planted on Sera’s head, saying that she would need to stay by his side and that he would marry her guaranteed that he had already secured the merger and divorced you. He swore like a fool that he would divorce you. But guess what? The jerk ended up falling in love with his wife and suddenly had no use of Sera. Suddenly, he was such a good husband who couldn’t be more loyal. Suddenly, he was a lovestruck man who had always been in love with his childhood friend. If he had downright dumped Sera the moment his engagement was announced, if he had not been prideful and ambitious since the beginning of his marriage, he probably would have had better luck at having that healthy relationship he yearned from you. 

But how come the blame of being the third-party was all on Sera when her only mistake then was loving the person who promised her all the good things in life? 

Now, you see, this was all just bitterness brewing at the back of her head. She knew what she did was still wrong and that she wasn’t innocent. Sera swore to herself that she would never look back on those awful days ever again, but seeing how Satoru was running around freely with a different woman just reminded Sera of his days as a spiteful, two-timing man. Somehow, it felt like he had changed and yet didn’t at all. 

Ha ha ha. How ridiculous was that? 

“What’s funny?” asked Sukuna, her present boyfriend and thankfully so. He was Sera’s blessing, because she never would have thought that a man like him could still exist in a world full of Satoru’s and Naoya’s. “You look cute smiling to yourself, though.”

“I know,” she responded to the compliment, shifting to settle herself on his lap, though his attention remained fixed on his laptop screen. “It's just strange to me,” she continued, her voice thoughtful, “how Gojou appears his usual self, yet there's something off about him.”

The question clouded Sukuna’s eyes in confusion, tilting his head to the side as he tried to comprehend her description. “You mean dude got uglier?”

I wish, Sera thought. “No, he’s… he’s different. The vibes are different. For a second, he even looked like he was dissociating the whole time he was with that girl,” she said, referring to Satoru’s new girl as though she was your cheap alternative, “But then again, why is he with her in the first place if he looks absent-minded the whole time, you know what I mean?” 

“Was he like that with you before?” 

“At times, but it’s not like the way he’s acting right now… I don’t know, I can’t explain it. The energy is off. That’s just not how he acts when he’s really, really into someone.”

To be honest, Sukuna didn’t give a damn about Satoru Gojou’s life and any normal boyfriend wouldn’t really like hearing their girlfriend talking about another man, especially her ex at that, but he knew Sera found joy in old money gossip and he was aware of the demoralizing past she has had by associating herself with them. Sukuna was acting all engaged in their conversation because he wanted to make her feel heard and that he shared her simple joys in life. Besides, it was through her that he learned so many inside scoops about the people that ran the country’s biggest conglomerates. It was like watching one heck of a messy episode of Dynasty. 

“Didn’t he get into a car accident?” he recalled, remembering the headlines on the news that day, “Then, we saw him at the expo and he couldn’t really remember you. The guy’s probably got his head all messed up.” 

Sera was bitter at the time thinking that Satoru was toying with her when he asked who she was, when the truth was, he was actually diagnosed with amnesia. It was such a shock to her, truthfully, because having amnesia felt like something you would only see on a movie’s screen. Well, in that case, she could also say karma’s a bitch. The director might be onto something here.

“He’s probably not mentally fine, but still…” she thought carefully and played the scene in her head again. What was it about the Gojou that she saw the other day that was different? “He just has a different vibe to him that it feels uncomfortable. It’s like he’s rude, but not so rude? He doesn’t have much of a personality anymore. Like a complete stranger.”

“Maybe it’s the new girl rubbing off on him.” Sukuna was back to typing on his laptop as he said that. Frankly, he was just saying anything at this point. 

Sera shook her head in response. “Well, I don’t know about that girl he’s seeing and I don’t really care, but it’s common knowledge to the filthy rich that she’s Y/N’s best friend. That’s why I recognized her right away, and that’s why it disgusted me,” she pressed on, “Tell me, would you—and be honest about this—would you fuck your best friend’s ex?” 

The humor on her boyfriend’s face came right as she asked that. “Babe, you fucked a married man. It’s worse than fucking somebody’s ex.” 

“Shut up.” Rolling her eyes, she got up from his lap and sighed, but Sukuna wasted no time in pulling her back onto his lap. His chuckle was mingling with the gentle kiss he had planted on her cheek, unaware that his actions made Sera’s heart flutter. “Forget it. I shouldn’t even be talking about Satoru with you.”

The man stretched his arms and finally closed his laptop, patting Sera’s thigh afterwards. “On that note, I do have another ‘dude from your past’ that I gotta meet tomorrow.” 

Her reaction alone was a response for him. “Naoya?” she protested, face contorting with disgust. “What for? I told you not to take on that project.”

“Yeah, I considered it, and you know, the partnership could really benefit CleaveTech,” Sukuna reasoned, leaning back as he outlined the situation to her from a business standpoint. Given her own background working for the Gojou Group before, he expected her to grasp the significance of this partnership and set aside any personal grievances or emotional attachments. “The Zen'in Group is a major client. It’s all pros and no cons here.”

“The contra is the guy you’re gonna work with,” she highlighted with a hint of annoyance rising from her throat, “Naoya is nothing but an opportunistic motherfucker. Mind you, he’s a stupid elitist, too.” 

He held back a laugh, not even threatened by a man who had a terrible history with his girlfriend. “Nah, I’ll deal with him. Just trust me on this.” 

As much as Sera wanted to object, she knew Sukuna had a point and that she really shouldn’t hinder his company from being partnered with such a large conglomerate. She just didn’t like the thought of her boyfriend being around a man who manipulated and humiliated her to the point where she had been blacklisted by multiple companies, leaving her to resort to being somewhat of a prostitute just to make ends meet. 

The world was harsh for the not-so-rich, and all Sera wanted was to give those upper class people a taste of their own medicine. But seeing as her desire for revenge would clash with her boyfriend’s chance at company growth, she had to set aside her personal grudge and support him on this one.  

Still, there was nothing wrong with being curious. “Is there any other reason you agreed to this partnership?”

Sukuna smirked as if he expected that question from her. “Blame it on my little brother, he’s been bugging me ‘bout it.”

“Yuuji?” Sera asked, clearly confused. 

To which her boyfriend quickly answered, “Yeah. He said it’ll give him an opportunity to work with his best friend. You know that kid, Fushiguro, right?” 

Ahh. Toji’s kid aka the heir to the Zen’in business empire. Sera had met Megumi before, and while that other brat Mai used to be unreasonably rude to her, the younger boy was always civil and respectful at least. He never even once treated Sera like dirt when she was spending time with Naoya at their mansion. Perhaps their upbringing really differed because he was raised by Toji and the other Zen’ins were raised by demons. 

Nevertheless, with a connection now established between Sukuna and Naoya through Yuuji and Megumi, Sera couldn’t help but feel that her peaceful days as a nouveau riche were about to become far more intriguing. Depending on the cards she would choose to play, they could even turn into a living nightmare. 

— —

You weren’t exactly abandoning your company; you were merely taking a break, a necessary pause given your current mental state after the whole break-up with Toji and the Osaka thing. Your mind was just too overwhelmingly occupied to even properly function. Each day, mustering the energy to show up at Hearte's head office became increasingly challenging, especially when faced with individuals who relied on you for major decisions and creative direction. 

To make matters worse, Akemi’s sudden resignation hit hard.

You received her decision by a simple letter, a mere piece of paper, without even having the guts and decency to meet with you in person. Was she scared? Or was this her way of rubbing salt on the wound, shoving it in your face that she was now taking things to the next level with your ex-husband? 

She did cite in her resignation letter that her reason for resigning from the role was due to conflict of interest. You wanted to laugh when you read that part. No, you wanted to choke in your fit of laughter after reading through her asinine reasons. She could have been upfront and mentioned that the so-called ‘conflict’ was the very man her best friend had previously married. 

Obviously, everyone in the office felt sad knowing that a core member of the company left without at least a 30-day notice, but they were all also aware that her resignation was due to personal albeit controversial reasons. Did Akemi not care about her image at all? The same colleagues she had trained, managed, and collaborated with would now likely gossip about her behind her back. She would become a hot topic of disrespect among the people that once heavily respected her. Did she also not care about the company you two created together anymore? This was the same company you two had passionately dreamed of during your late-night conversations on a New York rooftop. She was the one who wanted to build a fashion house together with you.

Yet, it seemed she was willing to throw it all away for a man already entangled in complicated familial dynamics. Her immediate resignation and refusal to speak to you in person just further confirmed it to you that Akemi was willing to forsake your friendship by choosing a man who already had a child with someone else. 

Since she chose that path, you couldn’t help but interpret Akemi’s actions as a deliberate slight against your friendship. It seemed clear that she no longer viewed you as a friend and was essentially cutting ties with you. Otherwise, why would she take such a step? Akemi wasn’t the type to be vindictive; she likely believed she was sparing you further pain by severing your connection. However, regardless of her intentions, her actions felt deeply disrespectful and hurtful.

If this was what she wanted, then kudos to her and her unbelievable confidence to choose a man like Satoru Gojou. Besides, it didn’t even take you a week to find another replacement. Your family connections were powerful after all. You readily had a pool of potential candidates for the role of the Head of Sales, Retail, and Merchandising—all from prestigious backgrounds and unparalleled expertise. While the competition was tough, you selected the person you deemed was the most qualified to be your second-in-command. This was someone you had esteemed since college, a person who excelled in both business acumen and creative vision.

Yuki Tsukumo. She was influential in every sense, and you trusted that she would be able to manage the high pressure environment of a start-up fashion house and transform it into an iconic brand, a household name that would one day rival Chanel and Miu Miu. 

You may have succeeded in replacing Akemi. You may have shown her that her position in the workforce was easily replaceable, but her role as your friend still left a lingering, repugnant mark that proved far more difficult to erase. This underlying sentiment could explain the unreasonable anger festering in your heart—a visceral reaction born from feelings of backstabbing betrayal. 

It was hard enough for you to travel all the way to Osaka with a broken heart, but it became much more agonizing to watch your own son run up to Akemi like she was his mother. It was a goddamn slap to your face, indeed, to see that your ex-husband had already chosen a woman to have his happy, little family with. That he wanted to be a good man and be everything you wished for in a husband for her. 

As they say, nothing hurts more than building a man for another woman. 

And honestly? You cried so much on the way home that you became numb. Now, you were just trying to get over it. You were trying to bury the searing pain in order to forget the betrayal you felt. It was all too much for a person to handle and it wasn’t like you hadn’t gone through the same old shit before. Wasn’t it worse before with Satoru actually cheating and all? He technically wasn’t crossing any lines here, so it shouldn’t hurt you. It shouldn’t. You had been here before. If you had managed to get through such an awful time as his previous wife, his relationship with Akemi shouldn’t be too hard to accept. No, you weren’t trying to lowball your pain, but it was better to be an optimist in this situation than be a suicidal, self-destructive person. You had a business to run and a child to raise. You had to be strong. 

Or at least, that was what you told yourself. That was what you had been telling yourself over and over, each time you got up from bed forcing yourself to have a false positive mindset. In fact, that was also why you had to take this extended break because you had to have your peace of mind. You had to have some form of release to remember why you needed to stay alive and keep yourself going.

Not just for Sachiro’s sake, but also for your own. 

Your safe haven for now was at the horse ranch, where the tranquility of riding and the beauty of nature provided the perfect ambiance for reflection. How long has it been since your last visit to Willow? Your father had been joking that you shouldn’t be leaving a beautiful, white Friesian horse unattended for years, especially not for the expensive price he paid her for. True enough, because the moment you saw the mare again, you almost forgot how majestic she was for her breed. Willow was a completely docile and graceful horse, so alike to you in many ways. However, one thing that was unlike you, was that she lived in peace, existing solely for herself and not for anyone else.

If only you could be like her. 

As you reached out to stroke your rare-breed horse, a new and unfamiliar stallion in the stable caught your eye. To think of it, your family shared this equestrian estate with the Gojou family. This realization meant that the strikingly elegant and tall gray horse in the adjacent stall belonged to none other than Satoru.

“It’s a Thoroughbred,” the equine caretaker informed while guiding your horse out of the stable, “Mr. Satoru got him recently and named him Six.” 

A gray Thoroughbred, renowned as the most expensive horse breeds out there. It could fetch a price as high as $70 million, and of course, Satoru was the perfect owner for such a prestigious horse. The stallion embodied his essence completely—its color, its build, its rarity. On the other hand, you couldn’t help but find his naming convention by number a bit odd. His previous black stallion was named Eight. This time around, it was Six. Couldn’t he be more imaginative?

“He’s beautiful,” you mumbled, nonetheless, in awe with the regality of the horse. 

“He’s a good boy, too,” added the enthusiastic horsekeeper in a thick country accent, “Mr. Satoru was here yesterday and played polo while riding him. They were perfectly in sync even if it was his first time riding him.”

Of course, he would play polo. That was one of his favorite recreational sports. The burning question at hand was, who was with him during his visit? Because if the caretaker mentioned Akemi, you would certainly lose it. This was your private space with him. This estate was a place that none of his other women had access to, not even Sera. This was a location filled with memories from your childhood. For him to bring another woman here would be crossing the damn line. 

“Did he bring anyone with him?” you asked, trying to sound casual as you dusted off your boots. 

The caretaker denied. “No, he was alone. He just came to play polo and check the horses he recently bought.” 

Oh… “He bought more than one?” 

Did he seriously get Akemi her own horse? Your heart was racing at the thought, but the caretaker led you to the stable near the exit to show you the other horse than your ex-husband had purchased. It was a brown Shetland pony. 

“He got a fully trained Shetland for your son,” the horsekeeper proudly declared, showcasing the pony as if he had been instructed to do so in anticipation of your visit. It was obvious that Gojou had already briefed him on introducing Sachiro’s new pony to you because he knew you would be asking about it. “His name is Elmo. He is kid-safe and very friendly.”

Frankly, you wanted to sigh in relief, but at the same time, it warmed your heart to know that Satoru got his son his own horse at such a young age. You could already sense him planning to make Sachiro take equestrian classes when he gets older, and probably join him on his horseback riding sessions, too. You could imagine just how perfect it would be to see the father and son bonding here, racing together, playing polo together… yet it would not be you who would be watching them on the side.  

This future he was setting up with his son would be an experience he would share with Akemi. 

There was no you in that vision anymore. 

The caretaker likely questioned your sanity when he noticed the bitter smile on your face as you mounted your mare. He might have even doubted whether you were sane enough to ride alone, without a guide, particularly through the woods since Willow had not been ridden for some time now. However, you had done it countless times before and were quite familiar with the trail, and so you dismissed his offer to lead you and assured him confidently that you knew your way back.

You needed this solitude. You craved this moment of peace, alone with your thoughts and surrounded by nature, to reflect on the ceaseless torture of your life. It was just never-ending, squeezing every drop of happiness out of your system to make sure that you would only live to suffer. You really thought you had your happy ending with someone else? You actually believed you had found the perfect man to be your actual husband? 

Well, unfortunately for you, Toji was not the one. 

At first, your mind flew to Toji as you went on to the trail, allowing the mare to continue trotting as you held the reins to control her. You remembered Toji’s text that morning, asking you for the hundredth time if he could meet with you. He likely wanted to apologize in person, but you doubted he would change his mind and take back the things he said. Because they were true. He could never fill the void left by his deceased wife by being with another empty soul. It was painfully, unmistakably true. You were better off dead if that was the case, because even if you did end up marrying him, you would never be regarded as the person he loved the most. After all, your role in this world seemed to always be the second option. You were never the first in other people’s books. Not with your ex-husband. Not even with your family, especially with Gen around. You were meant to be a bystander, watching others live their perfect lives while you were forced to be in your misery. Someone like Toji would not have a guaranteed blissful marriage with you and you had to spare him from that. You had to draw the line and step back from this charade that you were playing with him, knowing that you were never the right person to be with him, so at some point, you had to accept his drunken words. They came from a place of truth, and that truth would set the both of you free. 

Even it hurt. Even if it fucking hurt to hear his words. You couldn’t deny them. 

You could easily forgive him, but his words might take a while for you to forget because even thinking about it now was bringing a wave of pain into your chest. You didn’t even notice that you were losing control on Willow’s reins by the time you entered further into the woods, bouncing on the saddle as you galloped along the challenging path. With the speed you were riding right now, inexperienced riders would certainly find it unsafe and scary. But for you? It was just what you needed. The breeze of fresh air, the thrill of riding alone, the peaceful sound of nature—you could die there and be at your happiest. 

Maybe that was where you had to be; to disappear and leave them all behind. Wouldn’t that be best for everyone? If you were to vanish, they could finally be free. Your presence, even from the beginning, was a burden for everyone—for your dad, Gen, Satoru, Toji, and even Akemi. The people you trusted the most would be the same people who would secretly celebrate your demise. So, what else was hindering you from taking matters into your own hands and ending it all yourself?

“Giddy up!” 

Was it Sachiro? Definitely. But now he had his father, and he was likely starting to see Akemi as a mother figure as well. Your role as his beloved mama could be easily replaced if you were to leave him now. It wouldn’t hurt him as much that way. Three years with Sachiro seemed sufficient enough, and he was at an age where he could grow up alongside his father. In this short span, he would have lasting memories with you, yet not enough to deeply grieve your absence. He was a young child, surrounded by people who would offer the whole world to him. At least, for that, you were eternally grateful. It brought you comfort knowing that your son would have support after you were gone, and that he would find a mother figure in Akemi. Given the brief time he spent with you and the rest of his life with her as his stepmother, Sachiro would likely come to love and accept Akemi as his own mother. This was the best outcome you could hope for.

My child, my son, my baby… please don’t get mad at mommy. 

Tears were gushing out of your eyes and you hadn’t even realized it until they started blurring your vision. You were far too lost in your own thoughts, unaware that you were now in an unfamiliar and seemingly dangerous part of the trail. The path was getting a little bit too steep and poor Willow was clearly stressed at your inconsiderate handling. There were multiple obstacles on your rocky terrain and you weren’t as steady and controlled as you wanted to be because the horse wasn’t comfortable navigating such a difficult path with the pace you were forcing her to.  

“Ah!” 

Your attempt to balance was interrupted by Willow’s loud neigh, signaling her distress before she bolted into a full rampage. She was sprinting at an estimated speed of 20 miles per hour. Not even a skilled rider like Satoru himself would be cantering that fast on unfamiliar terrain and an unfit horse. But you, you clearly had a death wish, because instead of fearing for your own life, you were far more concerned at the thought of how dreamy Satoru and Akemi’s wedding would look like after your demise. They would definitely make Sachiro their ringbearer. Suguru would be the best man. Shoko, the maid of honor. People on the internet would praise them for being an attractive couple. They would anticipate their beautiful kids together, living in the same mansion he bought as a gift to you. He would kiss her good night, tell her loves her, and offer the whole world to her. They would exchange vows and promise themselves a lifelong commitment to be by each other’s side through sickness and in health, and only in death would they part. 

“Willow!” 

You let out a shriek as the reins slipped from your grasp, causing you to tumble off the saddle and crash onto the ground. The impact was first felt in your elbow, and a sharp, searing pain then radiated through your body. There you lay, sprawled on the dirt, helplessly watching Willow galloping out of control up the mountain, and then tragically plummeting off a cliff.

“Nooo! Willow, no!”

Utter hysteria overtook you. You sobbed uncontrollably, unable to determine which pain was more agonizing—the clearly broken elbow, the loss of the horse you had inadvertently led to its death, or the heart-wrenching reality of Satoru starting a family with someone else.

You were pathetic. You were such a pathetic excuse of a human being and this was why you deserve hell. 

“Willow!” 

Toji couldn’t love you. Your own son didn’t want to be around you. Satoru had gotten over you. And now, you drove a poor innocent horse to its demise because of your recklessness! 

You were crying hysterically as you held your pained elbow, crawling by the cliff’s edge as you screamed for your horse’s name, but in the end, there was nothing you could do. You could only apologize to poor Willow for having such an irresponsible owner, and now she was dead because of you. 16 years of her life, she was able to live in peace until you came and ruined it all for her. It should have been you. You were the one who should have jumped off a cliff. You should atone for your sins and follow her, but you were too weak, far to overcome by the excruciating pain on your hip and your broken elbow to move or do anything at all. 

That was, until your mind had completely shut down, leaving you as a mere body to be discarded alone in the darkness of the woods. You hoped that no one else would find you soon. 

— —

“A-Angina?” Satoru’s eyes went wide. His whole world stopped before him.

“Yes. She was diagnosed with stable angina,” Dr. Mori confirmed, much to your husband’s horror. “But there is another factor that requires her to have more rest. You need to take good care of your wife, Mr. Gojou. Her body needs a lot of nutrients so she can carry safely.”

He could barely process the whole thing in his head because the news kept coming one after another, leaving him in a befuddled state with a flood of unanswered questions running through his mind. “What do you mean…?”

“Your wife is seven weeks pregnant.”

…

…

“Y/N?”

“Y/N!”

“Are you out of your mind?!” 

You could barely pry your eyes open, but when you finally managed to, you were met with the concerned expression on Gen’s face. The harsh glare of fluorescent lights and the antiseptic scent confirmed to you that you were in the ER, likely an hour or two after the incident in the woods. The memory of the trail quickly flooded your thoughts, and a pang of sorrow gripped your heart as you recalled Willow's final moments before she fell off the cliff. The poor horse had lost her life, while the one responsible for her tragic death remained alive, save for the bandage wrapped around your arm.

“Why did you ride into the woods alone?” Gen persisted with her barrage of questions, standing by your bed as you attempted to sit up. “Are you suicidal or what? Riding your horse in a dangerous trail like that—”

“You know what, maybe I should have just died back there!” you snapped, wincing from the pain in your elbow. Her choice of words struck a nerve in you. “Maybe I’d prefer that over sitting here, listening to your sanctimonious lecture like you're so perfect yourself! How obnoxious.”

“Then, maybe you shouldn’t be riding so recklessly and causing alarm to everyone else!” 

“Did I literally ask you to come save me?!” 

The atmosphere around you two just became even more uninviting, with discomfiting silence seeping through as you and Gen were engaged in a sharp glaring contest. Your father stood behind her, clearing his throat to cut the tension. 

“That’s enough, Gen.” Your dad placed a hand on her shoulder, and although she wanted to protest, she knew better not to keep stirring the pot after receiving his strict gaze. “Let’s just be thankful your sister is safe. There’s no need to be so overwhelming.” 

You rolled your eyes, drawing in a deep breath before you looked away from them. None of them would ever understand your pain unless they were in your position. They didn’t carry the same baggage as you, so they would never fully comprehend the weight of your suffering. You had already dealt with similar pain on your own before and that was why you didn’t need any of them to come to your aid, meddling with your life like they knew exactly what you were going through. “Just leave me alone, you guys. I wanna rest.”

Since when did your relationship with your sister start to get rough? It wasn’t really like this before, but ever since she started to become too overprotective over you and your choices in life, particularly choices linked to Satoru, Gen had started to become insufferable in your eyes. She was acting too much like a mother; controlling your decisions, lecturing you about your personal relationships, being too involved with your private life. There, ever since that, you started to distance yourself from her, and she didn’t like that. Her stubbornness wouldn’t allow her to cease acting like this mature, picture perfect big sister to you. 

With that said, Gen would have normally gotten annoyed when you asked them to leave you alone, but this time around, she seemed to have reflected on her insensitivity a lot better with your father around. “I’m sorry, okay?” she said, her tone still tinged with stubbornness, “I just got worried. I don’t know what’s gotten into you to put yourself in danger like that, but… please, Y/N. If you’re going through something, you can always speak to us. Dad and I, we’re here for you.” 

To be fair, if you had to put yourself in their shoes, it really would have been alarming to know that your sister almost died. This wasn’t the first time you were at death’s door either, so they were probably scared shitless when they were informed of your situation. Your absolutely reckless situation. You didn’t mean to cause a scene, neither did you intend to bother them on their already busy schedules. You just had so many things in your mind while you were horseback riding, too engulfed by your own sorrow that you didn’t realize the repercussions after the incident had already taken place. 

“I’m sorry, too.” Your voice softened with humility. “I didn’t mean to worry you guys. It was just really an accident.” 

Of course, Gen suspected it was more than just an accident. Your dad did, too. It was obvious on their forlorn faces that they were worried for your mental and emotional well-being, but none of them dared address the elephant in the room. It seemed they didn’t need to, anyway, since one of the many reasons that contributed to your earlier breakdown took a peek from behind the curtains, clearing his throat and sending you a look of sympathy. 

“Y/N?” Toji looked at your father and your sister for approval before stepping further inside your space in the ER. “Can I talk to you?” 

There was no escaping Toji’s presence anymore. No more hiding, no more avoiding. You knew you had to have this talk with him no matter how many times you ignored his flood of texts and calls. While this may have struck as an opportune moment for him to speak to you in person, facing the painful truth of your situation weighed heavily on you. Besides, hadn’t the irony presented itself right there? If Satoru were the one trying to speak to you, even if he was the father of your child, Gen would have been quick to lash out at him. Yet with Toji, even with the general knowledge of what had transpired between you two, your sister still showed no hostility towards him, allowing him to approach you freely and without interference.

But then again, Toji was far from being a cheating, manipulative scumbag who not only caused you suffering but also sought to selfishly acquire your family’s company. Therefore, he wasn’t considered a threat. 

Alright, then. Since Toji genuinely wasn’t a threat to your current emotional state, you agreed to talk with him. It was the first time you had seen the not-so-confident side of Toji Zen’in. He was typically a man of virtue, often holding his chin high, offering the best advice, and having insightful perspectives on life. However, it seemed you had shattered that confidence in him. You could sense his cautiousness around you as he stood by your side in the ER, assisting you with your needs, and eventually agreeing to your request to walk you to the rooftop garden.

“I don’t really think there’s anything else we should talk about.” It was you who first broke the silence, staring at the cityscape while sitting on a wheelchair. The calm breeze allowed your mind to seize the moment with a peaceful mind. “I already heard what you had to say.” 

Toji found it better to kneel down in front of you to meet your eyes as he spoke to you in a sincere and earnest voice. “Y/N, I was drunk when I said all that shit back there. I didn’t mean them. I didn’t mean to hurt you with my callous words, and I feel awful that you had to hear them from me. You trusted me. You sought comfort from me. I wasn’t thinking like a normal person when those things came out of my mouth.” 

“That doesn’t mean they weren’t true,” you replied with quiet resignation. It was the acceptance in your face that seemed to have caused Toji’s heartbroken gaze. “It’s okay, Toji. I think, when you said all those things, it actually made me realize some aspects of our relationship that had to be addressed. It made me more self-aware and it opened my eyes on the bigger picture.” You touched his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze as you mustered the courage to speak your next words. “It’s for the best that we part ways. It’s not fair to me to become a placeholder for your wife the same way it isn’t fair to you to have to deal with my ex-husband always being present in my life. Our unresolved feelings won’t really be resolved by being together.”

“Y/N…” Toji’s voice hinted at his vulnerable emotions, though he restrained himself from showing it fully. And you didn’t miss the apologetic look he had presented to you. “Despite all that, I hope you know that I’d been true to you. I do love you and will always love you. I’ll always be someone you can rely on, someone you can seek comfort from, someone you can turn to when you need help…” 

Damn it. Why did he have to make it sound like an actual break up? Now, it tugged at your heartstrings and hit you in a place it shouldn’t have. You weren’t good at these things and it certainly was your first time dealing with such a mature and mutual separation, but wasn’t that a good thing? No further drama was to happen, leaving a stark comparison to your separation with Satoru. While this one didn’t hurt as much, it still brought a hollow feeling in your chest. 

“Same for me,” you agreed, displaying a weak smile. “You’ll always have a spot in my heart, Toji. I’ll always be grateful that I met you.” 

Sometimes, two people didn’t need to be together to love each other. Friendships could still thrive between ex-lovers, and that was why closure was so important. It not only closed a certain chapter of your life in a healthy way, but also allowed you to heal and open yourselves to a new beginning without any bitterness left behind. 

It shouldn’t be considered bad to remain friends with an ex. It also shouldn’t be bad to give a parting kiss from said ex, right? 

You weren’t the one who initiated it, after all. It was Toji’s hand that gently stroked your cheek. It was him, who leaned forward and pressed his lips onto yours. It wasn’t forceful, but neither was it passionate. It was simply a tender kiss of goodbye, feeling the warmth of each other’s lips for one last time before you two would transition from being lovers to friends. What you didn’t understand from this supposedly bittersweet moment was the faint tears that somehow managed to escape your eyes, perhaps because you knew that once Toji left, you would be alone again. 

You had no one by your side to love you, cherish you, choose you, and offer their entire world for you. You were meant to live this cruel world all by yourself. 

As he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours. “Please learn to love yourself before anyone else, Y/N. It’s what you need and what you deserve.” 

That night, while you were getting your MRI, your mind kept flying to the possibilities of a future without having anyone by your side. Any normal person would tell you to focus on loving yourself first, as Toji did recently, focusing on what matters most, and ridding yourself of the toxic things that hinder you from moving forward with your life. Things weren’t as easy as they sounded. Besides, it was different being on the receiving end of the said advice. How could you do those things when the primary cause of your pain was someone whose life would always be linked to yours forever? 

Based on the result of your MRI scans, your doctor recommended that you undergo elbow arthroscopy. It was just a minimally invasive procedure compared to open surgeries, but considering how much of an overthinker your dad was when it came to your health, he insisted on your confinement at the hospital until you had been completely cleared of any other issues. He really placed a big deal on your condition and emphasized to the doctors that they make sure nothing was missed. It could have been worse; you could have had a broken hip or a fractured leg, but at least you only had a dislocated elbow. Nothing that couldn’t be easily corrected by surgery and physical therapy. 

The decision was for you to stay there for two days, and on your first night, a crying Sachiro ran inside your private room because his ‘mama has a boo boo’. Gen said he was picked up from daycare and dropped off at the hospital because the poor kid was looking for you. She didn’t mention who dropped your son off to you, but you could tell it was Satoru. You could sense it by the glances she exchanged with Ian after you asked how Sachiro came to the hospital. 

So, in that case, Satoru must have found out about your little incident and didn’t care enough to see you. Did he not even have an ounce of care anymore? Or was it Gen who stopped him from seeing you? 

“Did you ask him to leave?” you confronted Gen in a mellow voice, rubbing Sachiro’s back as he snuggled into you on the hospital bed. 

Your sister knew exactly which man you were referring to, and she denied having done such. “No, I didn’t even talk to him. He took Sachi here and left.” 

You didn’t know why you looked at Ian to confirm the truth of his wife’s words, but hurt yourself upon seeing his bowed head. It was an apologetic expression that did signify your ex-husband’s blatant act of ignoring you. To hear about your near-death experience and simply leave without even checking on you should be your wake-up call. He didn’t care anymore. No, why should he care? He had Akemi. His only responsibility with you was to be a supportive father to your son. 

Why did the pain in your heart feel far more agonizing than the discomfort on your dislocated elbow?

If anything, you wanted to ask for the strongest anesthetic they could offer to numb your pain. You were desperate to have anything even if they had to put you into an eternal sleep. That would have been much easier to deal with than feeling disregarded by a person you supposedly had moved on from. Satoru did nothing wrong here. It was you who had that expectation, only to disappoint yourself when things didn’t happen as you imagined. 

And just when you thought things would get better as long as you ignore your torturous thoughts, it didn’t help that being in the hospital kept giving you flashbacks of the time you were in this exact room, hearing Satoru crying helplessly from outside and begging for you not to terminate his child. What comes around certainly goes back around. Or worse. 

Such depressive thoughts had you occupied throughout your stay there, and your unusual placidness alarmed the nurses instead of being assured that you were doing well. You heard your doctors telling your father and sister to always keep a close eye on you as the incident may not seem serious, but the trauma would undoubtedly be present somewhere and somehow. Were they aware? Of your intrusive thoughts of wanting to hurt yourself? 

The elbow arthroscopy was successful and by the second day, you were free to go home. You were placed on certain medications to help with the swelling and the pain, and while you were walking around the hospital with a listless mind, you happened to pass by the Obstetrics and Gynecology Department. What a deja vu it was, remembering the time you had seen Satoru there waiting outside for Sera. Back then, it was one of the climactic events in your life that led to a domino effect on the downfall of your marriage. Not that you were reminiscing, but it did remind you that Shoko was probably there in her consultation room and it would be nice to talk to a friend who had witnessed the wild history of your marriage. 

You asked Gen to wait for you in the car while you headed to Ieiri’s consultation room, assuring your visibly worried sister that everything was fine and that you wouldn’t take too long. You had to give Gen some slack, because despite the strains in your relationship as sisters, she was still always there for you. At the end of the day, she was family. 

Shoko, on the other hand, was the next closest thing you had for a sister. She welcomed you inside her room in a very worried embrace, telling you that if she had known about the incident, she would have gone straight to your hospital room on your first day, but you told her not to worry about it and understood that being in the medical field already had her schedule tight. 

“Well, I guess it’s perfect that you’re here, too.” Shoko smiled warmly, sitting behind her desk. She had exciting news to offer, it seemed. “I just wanna say that… of course, I’ll still be sending you a formal invitation and everything. I actually have a few gifts along with it.” 

You shared her enthusiasm. “Hmm… is it what I think it is?” 

The wedding. The most eventful day of her life would be arriving soon and you were the first one to hear it. 

“Yes!” she answered, with the utmost joy coruscating from her eyes. “I want you to be my maid-of-honor, Y/N. I’d be extremely happy if you could make it. I know you just got into an accident, but it won’t be until two months, so—”

“Hey, it’s okay.” You eased her worries by chuckling. “I’m completely fine, of course I’ll be there. I can’t miss it.” 

Shoko was grateful to hear your answer, relieved even, because by asking you to be her maid-of-honor, you should already understand who Suguru’s best man would be. That was a touchy subject for you and she was keenly aware of it, but you didn’t want her to worry. You didn’t want your relationship with your ex-husband to have a negative impact on the relationship of all the other people surrounding the both of you. It was already bad enough that Shoko and Suguru almost called off their engagement after they fought over their morals as you and Satoru’s friends, and you were glad that they somehow made things work. They somehow set aside their disagreements and ultimately chose their love over anything else. 

Their love was beautiful, and while that wasn’t something you could easily have, it was something you deeply admired. 

“Where are you guys planning to hold your wedding?” you asked, steering the conversation away from any mention of your ex-husband. “Here or overseas?” 

She delighted you with her answer, sounding as if this was the perfect wedding she had always dreamed of. “It’s an intimate wedding on the lakeside. Suguru chose the location, actually, since he wanted our wedding to have the view of Mount Fuji.” 

“That’s perfect,” you said with wide eyes. “Lake Kawaguchiko?” 

“Yep. That’s exactly where it’d be.” She smiled with her eyes. “You know this resort… Hoshinoya Fuji? We already booked the place, and we have a luxury cabin for friends and families to stay at.” 

You had been there before, but you were too young to remember. All you knew was that it was a high-end resort that had the best panoramic views of Lake Kawaguchiko and Mount Fuji. The hotel owner was also a close friend of the Gojou family, so that was probably why they were able to rent the entire place for the wedding, especially at a peak season for tourists. 

Since the fall season was arriving, you could only imagine the stunning views of the autumn foliage there. It offered the perfect weather, too. It wouldn’t be as hot as summer, nor as freezing as winter. Surely, it would be nice to do some nature walks and stargazing, maybe ride a boat or bathe in a hot spring. You looked forward to it, except for the fact that your ex-husband would also be there. 

And just what a perfect timing it was, because as Shoko sorted through her patients' medical records above her desk, a file slipped from the pile, revealing the name of your very friend, Akemi. 

“Oh,” Shoko murmured apologetically as she retrieved the record, not wanting to ruin the mood of your conversation. “She, uh, came by a few days ago... with Gojou.”

You didn’t need to ask. You didn’t need to hear any further detail. Akemi’s visit likely revolved around her desire to conceive, as she wouldn’t have visited Shoko otherwise. Why? If it were simply to monitor her polycystic ovary, why did she choose Shoko instead of her own gynecologist? Thinking of how your ex-husband and best friend were attempting to start a family together left your heart shattered in unimaginable pieces, stirring up painful memories of your pathetic marriage with Satoru and reopening old wounds you thought had already healed from. Wasn’t it ironic that a couple of years ago, you were crying over the same situation with Sera? 

You couldn’t stand this feeling anymore. You thought you had already freed yourself from the pain of loving him, yet here you were suffering from the same heartbreak over and over and over again. Tears threatened to spill, but you held them back, the ache in your chest too raw to confront just yet. 

“It’s funny.” Although you displayed an outward smile, the sadness in your voice reflected your otherwise inward thoughts. You didn’t know why you said that. You were just too… too emotional. Almost like you couldn’t breathe. “He was never this passionate with me. They seem so in love.” 

Ieiri’s eyes carried sisterly concern in them. “Y/N, it’s not really what you think.” 

Was it? You weren’t sure what to feel anymore. You certainly weren't there to hear it anymore, either. Satoru chose her, just like what you wanted for him to do. Just like what you asked him to do. He had moved on, he had found someone who would love him for who he was, he had chosen the woman he would share the rest of his future with. Call yourself ridiculous for even feeling hurt about it, because you had no right to be and you definitely chose this. Either you own up to it, or you cry about it for the rest of your life. 

Both choices had no happy endings. 

— —

When Satoru learned about your incident in the woods, he thought he was going to lose his mind. 

Was it out of love that he swiftly left the office in the middle of a meeting just to get to where you were? 

He still had to pick up Sachiro from daycare, and he felt bad telling his son on the way to the hospital that his mother was hurt. It actually gave Satoru a hard time explaining to the 3-year old that they had to go to the hospital because his mommy was there and that she had an unfortunate encounter while riding a horse. 

“Dada, is… is mama okay?” Sachiro pouted with wide, tearful eyes as he clung to his father’s hand. “Sachi wants to go to mama!” 

“She’ll be okay, Sachi.” Gojou carried his son and soothed him as they went inside the hospital, searching for you. “Mommy’s strong, remember?” 

Was it out of love that he wanted to be the person that brought your son to you when you most needed him? 

According to the nurse, your room was on the seventh floor, but when he got there, your room was empty. It was Ian who told him that you went up the rooftop garden to get some fresh air, insisting that if Satoru wanted to go and talk to you, that it was best to leave Sachiro with them. 

And so he did. He ran hastily, almost out of breath, until he reached the rooftop, scanning every face within the vicinity until his tired blue eyes finally landed on you. 

Satoru laughed in disbelief. He scoffed bitterly, with each breath full of disgust. The tips of his fingers felt cold, while his breathing grew thin and ragged. He could feel his stomach clenching at the humiliation of seeing you engaged in an intimate make-out session with Toji Zen’in. 

How sickeningly sweet. 

At that point, he was laughing at his own expense, ignoring the elderly lady who looked at him like he was a crazy person. He stood there frozen for a few minutes, watching you kiss another man before it finally woke him up from reality. 

It was out of love that he let you go. 

You see? This was where his attachment to you would lead him. It was pure and unreasonable selfishness, but he would gain nothing at all from even seeing you. He didn’t need to care for you at all, no. You had Toji. You seemed to be goddamn happy with your life with Toji. And what a romantic fucking moment that was, too. 

Satoru couldn’t think straight when he hurriedly left the hospital and got inside his car. He desperately wanted to forget the painful image of you locking lips with somebody else. How? How would he? Fuck! He was mad, mad at himself for choosing to come to your aid like he still had any role in your life. He was disgusted at himself for ignoring Akemi’s calls after promising her a movie date after work. He couldn’t believe he had her waiting all by herself in that cinema, waiting for him to come while he was stupidly running around the hospital to see his ex-wife. 

You chose Toji, then you better be happy. Satoru hoped you were happy, and that wish came from a place of genuineness. He genuinely hoped the best for you. Because for him, it was time to fully let go and stop himself from trying to be the superhero whenever you were in danger. You weren’t his wife anymore. 

So, was it out of love that he headed straight to Akemi’s apartment that night with a bouquet of red roses? 

She didn’t know what happened nor was she given the full detail as to why he unintentionally stood her up on their date night. He had just briefly explained that he had to drop Sachiro off to you at a hospital because you got into a small accident. Akemi, being your friend, got immediately worried upon hearing the situation and asked if Satoru was able to check on you. 

He said no. He said Toji was there. He said he left as soon as dropped Sachiro off. 

And in an effort to apologize for not paying attention to the current woman in his life, Satoru pulled Akemi in a tight embrace. He held her in her arms, drunk from the sweet and citrusy notes of her perfume, before pulling away to kiss her. He kissed her with the same passion as you did with Toji. Perhaps even more, even better. He completely devoured her lips, with a hand on her cheek and the other on her waist. The taste of her tongue was sweet like strawberries, while her lips were red like cherries. 

This woman was all he needed. 

But was this love? He didn’t know. It was too soon to tell, too early to answer, too hasty to even consider. 

— —

The current situation you were in reminded you of your younger self after your mother had died. It was the same before; you never left the house, often locking yourself in your room, shutting yourself off from the world, and drowning yourself with the pain and loneliness of losing somebody important. 

Sure, no one really died for you to be acting this way right now, but the feeling was still the same. Was this really a comeuppance to all of your wrongdoings before? But just how terrible were you of a person to be hit by this unbelievable truckload of sorrow? You might as well spur on the physical pains of your angina again if this torment continued. Otherwise, how else do you avoid it? 

You were being a terrible mother, too. You were too engrossed by your own misery that you couldn’t even properly take care of Sachiro. He didn’t deserve to have an incompetent and irresponsible mother like you. He deserves someone better, someone like Akemi, who not only has all the motherly traits a woman should have, but also the physical and mental capacity of being a true, strong woman. 

Sachiro was bound to have that, anyway. Now that his father was planning his lifelong journey with another woman, and now that he was trying to build a happy family with her, you were no longer needed in the picture. There was no need for you. 

How many more times would you tell that you have accepted it? 

Because, god be damned, you knew you couldn’t. You knew you were lying to yourself when you said everything was fine, lying to Satoru when you told him you didn’t need him in your life anymore, lying to Toji for telling him that you wanted to marry him, lying to Akemi that you didn’t care if she was seeing your ex-husband, and lying to Sachiro when you promised to him that you would never leave his side. You were a liar. A terrible liar. A pitiful, terrible liar. 

How would you tell the universe that you couldn’t take it anymore? That, for once, you wanted to be showered by happiness and all the good things in life? 

Sera was right. Not everyone could have it all. There were people of lesser fortune who weren’t blessed to live a lavish life like you, yet still work hard to achieve what they want. Why couldn't you achieve your own happiness without blaming it on the universe? If this was simply a lesson, then weren’t you the top student at this rate? 

God. God, help me. You really didn’t know how to deal with this life anymore. You weren’t sure how to proceed. You couldn’t rely on anything other than the bottle of alcohol on your hand—what was once full was now half empty after you took another swig. This was your second bottle already, wasn’t it? Or third? 

You got up from the floor and failed to walk in a straight line as you made your way towards the balcony. Your steps were unsteady, wavering like a leaf caught in a gentle breeze. With each attempt to move forward, your body swayed from side to side, struggling to maintain balance. You almost lost grip of the bottle you were holding. No, it did, in fact, slip from your hand and ended up crashing into the floor. Shards of glass lay across the ground, ready to pierce the soles of your feet to mirror the same physical pain your heart was experiencing. 

“Stop,” you muttered under your breath, begging for your chest to stop hurting. But it only worsened, and your antidote to that was to wash it down with even more liquor. No matter how expensive it was, you didn’t even like the taste of alcohol. You hated the sting on your throat whenever you drank it. You despised the bitterness it left on your tongue. However, it did great at numbing your emotions. 

It just felt wrong in many ways that you were seeing Satoru’s face whenever you closed your eyes. You could see his smile, his loving eyes, his beautiful lips. You missed his embrace, his kiss, his touch. You missed hearing his I love you’s. Him. You missed him. You yearned for him. Three goddamn years, and you were still undeniably in love with him. 

“Satoru…” you cried, sitting on the floor. Each breath made it harder and harder for you to catch as tears continued to stream down your face. You were tired of pretending, denying that you no longer had feelings for him when you knew deep down that you would always choose him. “S-Satoru… come back to me, please.”

Was it him coming inside your room? Or was it your vision making a fool out of you? 

“Baby, what are you doing?” Satoru’s expression was engulfed in immense worry as he knelt down and reached out to you, touching your cheek and looking at your eyes somberly. “Don’t do this yourself, Y/N.” 

Your head hung low, your gaze unfocused and glazed, as you fought to keep your eyes on the path ahead. You had to reach him. You wanted to touch him, hug him. And despite your best efforts, your movements were disjointed and erratic, betraying the effects of the alcohol coursing through your veins.

“Y/N, that’s enough.” Gen had to use force just to be able to snatch the bottle away from you, forcing you to wake up to the reality where Satoru no longer existed to be there for you. It was her who came rushing inside your room in the middle of the night. The bottle of liquor was now spilled all over the floor. The same could be described with your emotions. “Get it together. You haven’t been acting like yourself lately!”

You couldn’t, even if you wanted to. You were in delirium after having dealt with all the terrible things the world had thrown at you. If you couldn’t drown yourself in alcohol, how else would you have been able to numb the pain? How else would you have been able to… forget? 

As much as your sister tried to hide the obvious sympathy in her voice, even your drunken mind could recognize it. “We all know you’re going down the depression lane again, but never to this extent.” Her voice cracked in the middle of her sentence, cradling you into her arms as a tear fell down her face. The Gen who would usually lecture you, was now holding you in her arms as her only baby sister. “Stop this, Y/N, please. Don’t ruin your life the second time. I-It’s hurting me. It’s hurting Dad. Do you… do you realize what Sachiro’s gonna think of you when he sees you like this?” 

“Gen…” Muffled sobs unwillingly came out of you, leaving you with such excruciating pain in the chest, so much so that it didn’t even feel like you had done surgery to fix your (quite literally) broken heart.  “I w-want him back,” you continued to cry, “I want my husband back. I want to be with h-him, Gen.” 

“Y/N.”

“Where’s S-Satoru…? D-Did he leave? Please take me to him—”

“Y/N, listen to me.” She gently cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look at her pained eyes. “You’re intoxicated. He was never here, and he’d never come for you. You have to let it go.” 

“But—”

“He’s not good for you. He never will be.”

— —

It had been two weeks since Satoru last heard about you. Miwa was the one who updated him that you had already returned to your family’s mansion, letting him know that you were okay and that you were recovering well. Frankly, Satoru was starting to get annoyed at the fact that his secretary was still giving him updates about you. What did he care? He wasn’t your husband anymore. 

Besides, Toji was probably visiting you every day, so why did he have to worry about you? If there was anyone he should be worried about, it was Akemi. She had been experiencing terrible pelvic cramps lately, which needed to be given serious attention, but you would never see her being dramatic about it. The only thing she needed was for Gojou to accompany her visits to the OB-GYN, and even then, she never showered herself in self-pity. She carried herself like an independent woman, and that was exactly what Satoru needed in his life right now. 

He had a son to raise. He had a company to run. It wasn’t the perfect time to commit himself to someone lawfully. Heck, he didn’t even believe in marriage anymore. He realized that two people could still love each other without getting married. As long as Akemi didn’t pressure him about such things, he was fine with having her around. She didn’t ask for anything much, anyway. 

As for you, well… 

“What are you planning with that mansion you gifted Y/N?” asked Nanami, seated on the couch inside Satoru’s office, casually reading a newspaper. “Do you even remember that?” 

He certainly did. “What about it?” he questioned, idly toying with a pen on his desk. “It’s her property now. She can sell it if she wants.”

Better yet, you should let Sachiro inherit the property someday. His son was already set for a life of privilege having wealthy parents on both sides, but wouldn’t the mansion be a substantial addition to his assets in the future? Satoru couldn’t help but envision the kind of man his son would grow up into. He hoped Sachiro would not inherit his father's immaturity and pettiness but would embody the kindness and altruism of his mother. From a business perspective, however, Satoru planned to groom his son to be a leader, as he was the sole heir to the Gojou Group. Additionally, he would also inherit half of Creston and the entirety of Hearte. No wonder Sachiro was recently listed as the wealthiest kid by Forbes Japan. He even beat Megumi Zen’in from the list even though the teenager was the heir of the Zen’in business empire. 

These were the thoughts that should consume Satoru—the future, not the past. His kid, not you. And he was right about doing so, because when he came home to his penthouse, he was told that he had a visitor. 

A visitor on a Wednesday afternoon? 

Your brother-in-law, the esteemed prosecutor who sent his evil stepmother to jail, appeared on his front door, carrying Sachiro in his arms. It was hard to tell what type of emotions were visible on the man’s face, but he definitely didn’t bring any good news. 

“Ian?” Satoru promptly made way for the man to come in, ushering him into the penthouse and allowing him to set Sachiro down. The young boy was quick to dart off to his playroom, leaving the two men in an uncomfortable silence. “What’s going on? Weekends are usually my schedule with Sachi.” 

Ian cleared his throat, a hand on his pocket. “Do you mind looking after Sachiro for the time being?” 

By saying ‘for the time being’, it seemed like Ian wanted to actually say ‘until further notice.’ But that confused Satoru even more, because what was happening for the man to come here and ask him to let Sachiro stay beyond the agreed schedule with his father? He couldn’t read through Ian’s expression and it was making him uneasy. 

“I can, but… why so suddenly?” Gojou asked, glancing at his oblivious son. 

“It’s Y/N’s idea, Gen doesn’t know about it.” Ian released an awkward chuckle. “You know how my wife is.” 

Gen would absolutely hate it, Satoru was aware for sure. Though the questions lingered in his mind. “Why would Y/N want Sachi to stay with me? Where’s she?” 

Was it him or was Ian having a hard time explaining the situation? It felt like he was walking on eggshells, deciding between what had to be said and what shouldn’t. He was careful with his words when he spoke again, “Y/N flew to Monaco this morning and will be back when she’s ready. She says Sachiro should spend all of his time with you while she’s gone.” 

Monaco? Why would you be there?

Confusion bathed Satoru’s eyes. “Is it for a fashion event or something?” 

“No, she’s just…” Ian struggled heavily. “Well, to sum it up, she has to go there to sort some things out. It’s a personal thing, but she really needs this time for herself and we think it’s the best for her right now. I don’t know how long she’s gonna stay there or when she’ll be back, but I hope you understand what I’m trying to say here.”

No, he didn’t. Satoru found it difficult to fathom his ex-brother-in-law’s words, seeing as he had no general idea of what was truly going on. But if you were flying to Monaco, surely Toji wouldn’t allow you to go there all by yourself? 

Ahh. It made sense now. I see what’s happening here. 

Satoru’s lips curled into sarcasm. You would be vacationing with the love of your life. Is that what it was? Planning your halted wedding? Choosing wedding gowns? Looking for venues? There was no way you would be flying to Monaco alone, especially without Sachiro around when you two had been inseparable since his birth. 

“What kinda mother is she?” Satoru muttered in disgust, unaware that Ian had overheard him. But Ian had heard loud and clear. How could you leave your son behind like this? Couldn’t you face your ex-husband to discuss it, instead of just dropping Sachiro off as if he were some unwanted toy?

“Hold it right there,” Ian interjected, becoming defensive at the accusation. “You have no idea what she’s going through.”

How would he know? No one was telling him shit. No one was giving him details, so did they expect him to understand things and accept them as they were? Did they do the same thing to Satoru when he was at the verge of losing his sanity asking everyone for forgiveness over and over? 

“I've never taken sides between you two, Satoru, you know that,” Ian continued, trying to maintain a calm demeanor and speak with clear judgment, “But one thing I’m not gonna let you do is call Y/N a bad mother.”

Satoru’s chest tightened at Ian's words, a mixture of guilt and frustration bubbling up inside him. He knew he shouldn’t have spoken out of turn, but the pain and resentment were too raw to contain. It felt like you were abandoning him and your child, like you were off to a new chapter in your life again, and leaving everything behind. Perhaps this was his trauma from the New York thing crawling back at him, but it definitely reminded him of the day you had abandoned him. For three fucking years. How long would it take you to return now? 

Why do you keep doing this? He was sick of it. You kept running away instead of talking to him. He gets it, people change, circumstances change, but couldn’t you at least have the decency to talk to him about it? Was it wrong for him to wish you’d handled this differently? To wish that you’d talked to him, involved him in the decision-making process, instead of just making this unilateral decision and leaving him to pick up the pieces? 

Satoru took a moment, collecting his thoughts before continuing. “It’s fine, I’ll take care of Sachi,” he reassured, “I’ll take some time off work and have ‘Kemi help me out.” 

He looked back at Ian, his eyes pleading for further details, for answers, for some semblance of clarity in the midst of this emotional turmoil.

Yet none of it was given. 

And so, would it still be wrong to assume that he could now completely forget about you? That this opportunity to be with Sachiro would allow him a chance to share it with someone else? If you spent three years of your life playing house in New York with Toji, would it still be unfair for Satoru to do the same with Akemi? 

#series: sincerely yours #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #gojo angst #jjk angst

[it-happened-one-fic]

Hi, sorry to bother you but I would like to ask for a post from Leona, where Cheka is trying to get her two favorite people married (ie Leona and the reader)

Hi! Sorry it took me so long to respond to your ask! I had a bit of trouble writing this one, but over all I had fun too. I hope you enjoy!

Duly-Noted - Leona

Type: Gender-neutral reader/ fluff/ sfw/ featuring Cheka/ request

Word Count: 1790

Leona huffed out a sigh as he watched Cheka play with you on the floor of the Ramshackle dorm from his relaxed lounging on the couch.

It hadn’t taken him long to figure out his nephew’s scheme when, as soon as the little fuzzball had appeared, he’d cheerfully stated that he wanted to come and play with you. Of course, Cheka had given himself as soon as he’d included his demands that Leona come along with him, even though he’d been to visit you at Ramshackle dorm plenty of times on his own.

Cheka was definitely fond of you, and Leona couldn’t really blame the kid considering how you patiently played along with the child. But that wasn’t what was really going on here.

What was going on here had more to do with Cheka’s pressing questions about why Leona so often told family members that he wasn’t particularly attached to anyone at school.

He could still see Cheka’s bright eyes looking up at him with an insistent frown on his face, “You know that is true, Unca! You like Y/n!”

Leona had snorted at his nephew, shaking his head at the child and, for once, was genuinely amused, “And what makes you think that?”

“You look at them the same way Papa looks at Mama. And Y/n likes you too! Why don’t you just take them home with you? Then you don’t have to worry about leaving them here while you visit us!” Cheka was as determined as Leona had ever seen him, but it was a drastic misreading of the situation.

Leona had plenty of reasons to not want to visit home, and none of them had a thing to do with you. But the moment he’d told the child that, Cheka had smiled. 

He’d been all but beaming up at Leona from where he sat on his lap, hands fisted in Leona’s shirt like he thought his uncle would run away, “But you do like them.”

There were moments, like right then, when Leona almost wondered if Cheka was more intelligent than his father. Perhaps he’d taken after his mother in that sense. But then Cheka’s hare-brained plot for tricking you and Leona into a relationship certainly hadn’t been well schemed.

After all, Leona wasn’t the only one who'd caught on. You had, too. Though, to be fair, Cheka wasn’t exactly being stealthy with his questions about how, “Wouldn’t it be great if we all lived together?”

Leona had fully planned on handling it, but you'd only smiled, shaking your head and saying you’d talk to Cheka about it, “He’s just a kid after all, and he doesn’t mean any harm. There’s no need to come down on him so hard.”

Leona had only eyed you with rising eyebrows before shrugging, “Have it your way. But he won’t drop this easily. He’s a stubborn little thing.”

You’d snorted, elbowing him lightly as you went by to rejoin his nephew, “Must run in the Kingscholar family.”

And that had been that.

Truthfully, Leona hadn’t known what you’d told his nephew, but Cheka had fallen largely silent on the matter of a possible romance with you after that. 

In hindsight, though, Leona really should have known better to think that was all there was going to be to it. Nothing was ever that simple. Especially when you or his nephew were involved.

He had to hand it to Cheka, though; he’d been completely caught off-guard when the child had suddenly questioned him about his wedding plans. Especially since it happened during a trip to Sam’s with Ruggie.

Cheka held up the little ring-shaped lollipop, and before Leona could even start to refuse to buy the treat for him, the child spoke with innocent curiosity, “What kind of ring are you going to get for Y/n when you two get married?”

Leona blinked, his eyes widening as he stared at the child who just stared up at him while Ruggie did a spit-take and Sam’s eyebrows lifted. The only sound that broke the silence was the occasional beep as Sam continued to scan items.

Leona finally frowned, crossing his arms as he eyed the child, “What makes you think I’m going to marry the Herbivore?”

Cheka frowned almost immediately, as if he were trying to mirror his uncle’s expression, “Y/n and you like each other. But Y/n said they couldn’t move in with us until you two had gotten married. They said people would talk since we’re royals and they aren’t if you didn’t.” 

Cheka’s expression slowly shifted to one of concern, his tiny hand reaching out and grasping Leona’s pants leg, “You are going to marry them, aren’t you, Unca? Y/n’ll be sad if you don’t.”

Ruggie only barely managed to contain his laughter in an ugly-sounding snort that had Leona shooting him a look while a smile began to creep across Sam’s face.

“Did they?” Leona’s gaze shifted back to his nephew as he spoke, his tone careful as he eyed the child. But he was already putting two and two together without Cheka having to say anything.

You certainly had talked to Cheka about it, but now Leona was going to have to talk to you about this.

Ruggie wiped his eyes lightly before kneeling, humor still flooding his voice even as he eyed Cheka, “Well, marriage is a pretty big deal, Cheka. Leona can’t just go proposing without putting some real thought into it.”

Cheka frowned, but Ruggie only titled his head, reasoning with the child easily, “Y/n deserves the best, don’t you think?”

Leona watched, eyebrows raised, as Cheka frowned thoughtfully before his tiny face cleared like a sun coming out from behind clouds, and he nodded, smiling widely, “Oh! I see! Leona wants to sweep Y/n off their feet like those princes in the stories Mama likes so much.”

Leona didn’t even bother hiding his groan as Ruggie snickered mischievously, nodding and egging on the child, “Exactly, so you’re going to have to give him some time to do just that.”

Ruggie paused, glancing up at Leona with a grin that had Leona glaring at him warningly. But the hyena beastman was hardly even phased as he looked back at the child seriously, his eyes sparkling with poorly disguised mischievousness, “We’ll both have to support him, Cheka.”

Cheka’s expression turned determined as he nodded before looking up at Leona, “Good luck, Unca!”

Leona sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out an annoyed, “Uh-huh,” as he watched Ruggie lead his nephew out of the store.

 He would get Ruggie for what a mess this was inevitably going to end up being, as well as deal with whatever the little mercenary wanted in exchange for his assistance later. First, he had a certain herbivore to find.

And he couldn’t complain that you were hard to find. But then you never were.

You were, as ever, at Ramshackle. Working on upkeep for the run-down building on your day-off, just like you usually did on the weekends when you weren’t working at the Mostro Lounge.

Leona didn’t even have to call out since Grim handled letting you know he was here for him.

You turned, blinking up at him in surprise, before a smile split its way across your face. Leona wasn’t really looking at you, though. Instead, he was staring at the busted chair you were apparently working on with a frown. 

How the crossbar had wiggled its way out, was beyond him, but that was evidently enough, what had happened.

“Leona! No little prince with you today?” Your voice was bright, and Leona found himself looking back your way as he propped himself in the doorway.

He crossed his arms as he looked down at where you were seated on the floor, tilting his head at you, “Nope, but a certain little prince did tell me what you told him the other day.”

You blinked in confusion before your eyes slowly cleared, and you let out a small chuckle, shaking your head slightly, “Oh, that. He bought the marriage excuse pretty easily, and at least that way I didn’t have to lie or something like that to him.”

Leona felt his eyebrows rise at your words as you twisted to go back to work on the chair, seemingly unconcerned by what side effects your words might have had.

“Yeah, but now that he’s found out we’re dating when no one else has, he’s going to report directly back to either Falena or his wife,” Leona pushed himself off the wall as he spoke, walking over to where you were.

You simply shook your head at his disgruntled words, a smile on your face, “I still don’t see why it would be so horrible for them to know. But even if he does tell them, they probably won’t believe him. Not if Falena is as concerned about your love life as you say he is.”

Leona frowned as he watched you before kneeling and reaching around you to help you support the chair while you fought the crossbar into place, “No, he’ll call and ask all sorts of questions or, worse, have his wife ask me all sorts of questions.”

You hummed, tilting your head slightly, “You’ll be able to handle it if it comes to that. But, like I said, I really don’t see why it’s a big deal if they know or not. I’d like to meet your family.”

Your words caused his eyebrows to lift once more as he glanced over at you, watching as a frown crossed your face.

You glanced over your shoulder at him, confusion accenting your voice as soon as you spoke, “How did you find out what I’d told Cheka anyway? Did he just tell you?”

Leona let out a huff, his ears twitching as he glanced off to the side, “He saw one of those lollipop ring thingies at Sam’s and asked me what sort of ring I was going to get you for the wedding.”

You laughed aloud, earning yourself a look even as you shook your head in light-hearted amusement before glancing at him, “Hopefully nothing like a Ring-pop. That would be hideous.”

Leona grinned, leaning forward to rest his chin on your shoulder, “You don’t want something big like that?”

You snorted, shaking your head, “No. I think a rock that size, even a fake one, would be a little heavy.”

He let out an amused huff, turning his eyes back to the chair as he idly considered what sort of ring might actually be best, “Duly noted.”

After all, your thoughts on it all mattered too, even if you didn’t know that held actually had been looking at some rings already.

#Twisted Wonderland imagines #Leona x reader #Leona Kingscholar #Leona kingscholar x reader #gender neutral reader #fluff #request #featuring Cheka #mywritings #it-happened-one-fic #leona x you #Leona x y/n #Twisted wonderland x reader #Twisted wonderland x y/n #Twisted wonderland x you #twst #twst x reader #twst x you #twst x y/n #Disney TW #mentions of marriage and rings #sfw

[lolziewolzie]

"𝓼𝓪𝔂 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓶𝓮." 𝚔𝚊𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚒 𝚋𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚐𝚘𝚞 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

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A one-shot where Katsuki Bakugou, struggling with his insecurities, confronts his feelings for a close friend while she does the same.

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The boy shook as he walked down the dark cold street and no matter how much he tried to deny it, the only thing he could think of was you. The way your eyes shined when you spoke to him, holding such a contrast to others’ fearful ones. The way you lightly spoke to him but still held a confident tone, as though you were not afraid of saying something to offend him but still making sure to be kind. The way you didn’t treat him how others did, how you didn’t allow outside perspectives to taint his image. He’d seen it before; when your classmates would pull you away and whisper in your ear about him, and you would soon after seem uncomfortable around him. He never asked why, as he figured your behavior stemmed from your friends telling you bad things about him. Katsuki grew warm from anger as he remembered, feeling the tingle of an explosion at his fingertips. As he walked up to the cafe’s glass doors, a new warmth engulfed him as he finally realized how cold he truly was. He’d already forgotten about whatever conflict was in his mind as soon as he saw you though.

You were sitting at a booth intently reading your new book when you heard the familiar melody of the cafe's door, signaling someone had entered; however, the gust of winter air did just the same. Tearing your focus from the story you looked up at the entrance and your posture immediately straightened, much to Katsuki's notice. Suddenly, a new warmth engulfed him - a warmth much stronger than that of the cafe, one that caused his once frosty cheeks to heat up. You, of course, noticed as he strolled over and slid into the seat across from you.  

"Oh my god Katsuki, you're all red!" You spoke, immediately reaching out to grab his hands that were resting on the table. You let out a gasp as you noticed they were cold to the touch then scoffed as you pulled back, giving him a scolding look. "This is why I tell you to wear gloves." Katsuki's gaze remained on his hands, already missing the warmth yours held. He looked up to meet your eyes and scoffed back at you before casually resting his head on his hand while his elbow was propped onto the table. 

"I don't need gloves so I don't wear them. Why are you being a nerd anyway?" He grunted towards the open book that lay in front of you. You smiled and closed the book to lift it up, the cover now visible to him.

"It's the book you got me last week for Christmas, duh. Oh, and it's soooo good don't even get me started!" You dragged out your 'so' to emphasize your point and playfully smirked as you gently sat the book to your side, and Katsuki felt his heart drop. It's not like he didn't expect you to like the book, he picked it so of course it's interesting, but something about it made him feel sick to his stomach. But in a way he would never explain, he liked it. The plot of the book focused on the romance of a stubborn boy and a sugar-sweet girl and you only hoped Katsuki had got it for you as a hint, not just from coincidence. You loved the book, but couldn’t stop yourself from picturing the two of you as the main characters - you’d never admit that though. 

A comfortable silence covered the table as you two shared a staring contest, but it was soon interrupted by the vibrations erupting from your phone. You both rolled your eyes although you held a smile and Katsuki held a slight frown. You flipped over your phone to reveal the caller as Ururaka, with a raised eyebrow you glanced up to Katsuki and he waved his free hand in dismissal. You answered the phone as Katsuki turned his head to face the window beside him, looking at the fresh snow that had started to fall over the night's floor. 

"What are you doing right now?" You heard the smile on Ururaka's voice along with other voices heard in the background, presumably some of the other girls from class. You'd been invited to a sleepover with them, but you already had plans. You admired Katsuki side profile and answered your friend.

"Mm, just at a cafe with Katsuki!" You noticed him side-glance you and as you made eye contact he smirked. 

"Oh," Ururaka spoke, but the disapproval that laced her voice did not go unnoticed by you. 

With a slightly deep pitch, you spoke. "'Oh?' Why do you sound mad." Katsuki rolled his eyes as he became aware of the conversation, slightly annoyed at your friends' constant worried behavior whenever you spoke of him. To them, it seemed they thought you were hanging out with the devil himself. Suddenly something was said from your friend that flustered you, and the phone call was quickly ended. You laid your phone on the table again, then nervously ran a hand through your hair as your face grew red. Picking up on your change in attitude, Katsuki raised his eyebrows; it wasn't hot enough in here for you to turn so red.

"Oh, what, your little friends need to come save you?" He sneered, his eye contact fierce while yours was scattered. He grew more annoyed, the difference in behavior was unusual and it was pissing him off. "Ey, tell me why you're acting like this now." He commanded, leaning forward slightly as you leaned back into the booth's cushion.

"It's nothing, I just need some food in my belly!" You convincingly smiled as you tapped your fingers on the table in a ripple - Katsuki's presence was suddenly overwhelming and you were hyper-aware of every action you were making. From an outside perspective, you looked extremely uncomfortable. However, your response didn't have much effect on Katsuki as he scoffed and leaned back to watch you pretend to skim through the menu. 'What could your shitty friends have possibly told you about him that shook you up this badly?' His mind was racing as his throat closed, too many thoughts and emotions at once began to anger him; he had to leave. He abruptly stood up and headed towards the exit, smoothly tucking his arms into his jacket as he did so. 

You snapped your head up, watching him leave without turning back. You were confused and suddenly felt sick, had you done something to tick him off? You hadn't meant to - that's for sure. Hastily tucking the book into your sling bag you followed the boy, the cafe's door almost hitting you as it shut. "Katsuki!" You called out for him only for his distant figure to shrink the farther he walked. Your foot hesitantly stepped forward as the cold weather nipped at your face, but you set it down and the snow crunched underneath your weight. Using what warmth was left in your body, you jogged up to Katsuki and grabbed his shoulder to make him face you. Instead, he pushed you back slightly with his arm and continued walking, unaware of how your heart was sinking. You stumbled back slightly and tried to look at his face, but you were only met with his back facing you. 

"What did I do? What's wrong?" You stammered out as you walked up to his side again and jumped in front of him, causing the two of you to bump into each other. He grabbed your upper arms to maintain your balance and leaned down to glare at you, your soft gaze held his glare in a silent war. You two tried to read the emotions that lay behind them but were stumped. 

"Oh, it's nothing!" He spat at you as he mocked your words from earlier, and it clicked in your mind that he was upset at you for that. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion - yes, Katsuki tends to get mad at people for silly reasons, but this felt like there was more to his anger. 

"No, what's really going on Katsuki? One second we're having fun inside and the next you're pushing me away, It's really not fair you know?" You rambled, instinctively moving close to his chest for warmth only to be rejected with a shove. 

Katsuki's throat kept tightening as he grew angrier at himself, he couldn’t bring himself to grow mad at you - he was embarrassed of his personal stupidity. How could he allow himself to believe that you viewed him any different than your classmates did, how could he allow himself to be so vulnerable? Katsuki's insecurities started bubbling in his stomach and thoughts of you only hanging out with him out of pity came into the picture. He was feeling many things at once and he couldn’t think straight, he hated how someone could be the root of these strange emotions, and he hated how he liked some of them. Katsuki liked the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach when you were nearby, and how hot he would feel when you would smile at him. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that he liked you; he just did not want to acknowledge it out of fear. As he glared down at your glossy eyes, he hated how badly he wanted to pull you back into his arms and apologize. “Not fair?” He mocked you again, “You’re the one that started acting weird after that shitty phone call, and it pisses me off! If you’re uncomfortable around me then stop hanging out with me, I don’t need your pity.” He finally spat out, his angry tone masking how he almost stuttered. 

Your gaze flickered from one of his eyes to the other as you processed his words, realizing how Katsuki must’ve interpreted your flustered behavior. You sighed, your hot breath fogging in the cold air. “No no,” You began and held your arms close to your body, stepping forward once more. “I don’t feel uncomfortable around you nor pity you. I admire you so much, really, and I love hanging out with you.“ You gulped and quickly wiped your cold nose before reaching out for him again, except he allowed you to embrace him this time. You could hear his heart thumping and his body turn stiff from the contact, and he slowly grabbed the fabric of the back of your hoodie. 

“Stop rambling and just tell me why you were acting like that, idiot.” He dismissed you and leaned back slightly to have a view of your face, although his grip on you remained. You felt your throat close up at his request, knowing that you’d have to tell him what Ururaka told you. Your face felt like it had turned redder, if even possible, and you looked up at him. The snow was starting to collect on his blonde hair, and even on his eyelashes. His red eyes were no longer holding an angry expression, however, causing your anxieties to dissipate slightly. 

“Uhm, well Ururaka started teasing me when she heard I was with you...” You trailed off, hoping he’d catch the hint and not force you to elaborate anymore. Only it wasn’t that simple, as his eyebrows furrowed once again. 

“The fuck for? ‘Cause you’re hanging with someone like me?” Katsuki's body jumped slightly as he quickly defended himself, rolling his eyes before landing his gaze back to yours. This time it was your eyebrows that furrowed.

“What?” You blabbered slightly, exasperated by his response. “No, silly. It’s cause, you know…” You whispered as you trailed off, biting your quivering lip - since when were you two so close? Katsuki continued to watch you be unable to maintain eye contact while he thought, and his silence caused you to hang your head slightly out of desperation. You were beyond flustered now, you’d hope he would catch on by now so you wouldn’t have to spell it out for him; Ururaka was teasing you because she was aware of how deep of a crush you held for the hothead. Right as you gained the courage to spit it out, you locked eyes with him and suddenly your voice was caught in your throat - his lips were slightly parted and he looked nervous now rather than upset. You felt hope, finally he must’ve realized what you were trying to say. 

“Say it,” Katsuki whispered. Your eyes widened slightly and almost choked at his blatant words. Slowly, his hands move from behind you to grab ahold of your shoulders. He leaned down closer to you as you remained silent, unaware that he was just as nervous as you were. You were both in the same boat, afraid to admit your feelings in case it ruined what you had; in case the other didn’t feel the same way. “Say it, say you like me.” He spoke with a rasp, gently moving one hand to your hold cheek. His hands were cold, and from the close proximity all you could smell was him; his signature caramel. You almost melted into his touch, moving your hands to grab the fabric on his chest. You were sure he could hear your heartbeat by now due to how silent it was; at least you assumed it was, all you could focus on currently was him… Your thoughts were being consumed by him, of him. By now he was desperately looking into your eyes, looking for anything that showed you did not feel the same. However, he didn’t have a chance to find anything before you spoke. 

“I like you.” You confessed, “I wasn’t uncomfortable because of you, I was nervous because Ururaka teased me and said we were on a date. Then I got all self-conscious because I know you don’t like me back, so spare me the teasing and pretend I never told you.” Katsuki listened closely to your confession and couldn’t help but smirk at the irony of the situation. You glared at him, assuming his smirk was taunting you, and started to move away from his hold. You know how he is, but you’d hoped he wouldn’t go this low to tease you when you’re this vulnerable; except he did and it upset you and you swore your heart lost its rhythm. Instead, Katsuki pulled you back and cupped your face, your arms falling back into their spot against his chest. The two of you stood there, amidst the quiet of the dark snowy street, enveloped in a world of your own. As you locked eyes, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the sound of your heavy breathing in the silence. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he leaned closer. With a softness that betrayed his usual intensity, Katsuki's eyes fluttered closed, drawing you in like a magnet.

Your breath caught in your throat as his warm lips met your cold ones, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. Time seemed to stand still as you savored the sensation, the contrast of his warmth against the chill of the winter night sending shivers down your spine. Closing your eyes you kissed back, moving your warm gloved hands to his face. It was like you two were the only people on this Earth, you never wanted this moment you’d been dreaming of to end. Eventually, he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, eyes still shut as he spoke with a playful tone. 

“I like you too.” 

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#bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #my hero academia #fanfic #katsuki bakugo fluff #bnha bakugou #bakugou smut #mha x reader #mha bakugou

[thepixelelf]

Oh Baby, You - svt smau

The birth of your son three years ago was what caused your breakup with Wonwoo, your longtime (and at that point, long distance) partner. Now, you're getting concerned that Orion is starting to look a lot like his dad, but that's not your only problem. Wonwoo is back… and he's living across the hall.

Genres: smau, romance, drama, comedy, angst, single parent au

Pairing: jeon wonwoo x afab they/she reader x mystery member(s)

Warnings: coarse language, conversations about sex, mentions of pregnancy, mama/mom/mother is used to refer to reader's parental status sometimes, infidelity, light alcoholism, miscommunication as a plot device, some of the teenies are not so nice at times, slut shaming, angst, everything is unrealistically dramatic because this is basically a kdrama in text/twitter form. warnings may be updated as they come, but I will label chapters properly if it's anything major

Note: unfortunately, I did have to make the mc for this series have female reproductive organs because, well... that's the plot. I couldn't find a good way around it :( if anyone reading this is discouraged, please know that pretty much every other fic I've ever posted is gender neutral. So, if you think you might've liked this smau, please check out my masterlist! hopefully there will be something you like there :) ALSO! if anyone makes fun of Orion's name just know that it's the name of a precious baby cousin of mine and if you bully smau Orion you are bullying irl Orion!! do not touch him!!!

(new!) Updates will post when I have the time and motivation

The taglist is full! Leave a comment under the post linked here if you're not on the main taglist to be notified when Oh Baby, You is completed.

Profiles I: Orion's Prettyboy(gn) Posse

Profiles II: Wonwoo's Famous Friend and the Other Guys

Profiles III: Gyu and the Rise of Capitalism

1. Everybody Loves Vernon

2. Tens Among Tens

3. Grown Ass Men

4. I Hate This FUcking Family

5. The Ones Keeping Secrets

6. A LITTLE Curious

7. You Go Girl Get His Ass

8. The Calm

9. The Storm

10. It's Been a While

11. Fucked Up Coincidences

12. Not... a BAD Guy

13. Still So Affected

14. Just My Type

15. Nothing to Hide

16. Fists Up

17. Act Natural

18. Girl, They Blocked You

19. Plot Relevance

20. Actually it is a Date

21. It's All Pretty Confusing

22. Scripted

23. All it Takes is a Smile

24. Yoon Jeonghan is Watching

25. Completely Surrounded

26. No Such Thing

27. What Does That Mean

28. A Name I've Heard Recently

29. Can't Risk It

30. Errand Day

31. One Day at a Time

32. Confrontation

33. Not Looking to be a Parent Any Time Soon

34. What if I

35. For This Little Guy

36. Get Blocked

37. I'll Take Care of You

38. Messed Up, Stupid, and Jaded

39. You Fucked Up

40. That's For You to Figure Out

41. Need to Try Something

42. Recovery Mission?

43. Your Everything

44. You're Cute When You're Like This

45. Not Sponsored

46. This is Nothing

47. Promise? Promise

48. Hhrk

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49. A Busy Afternoon

50. Cherry

#seventeen smau #jeon wonwoo smau #seventeen social media au #svt smau #svt social media au #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #jeon wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo scenarios #jeon wonwoo imagines #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo imagines #svt scenarios #svt imagines #svt x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #wonwoo smau #wonwoo social media au #jeon wonwoo social media au

[amysgiantbees]

I LOVE Wyll and I understand why they did the rewrites I think he's a wonderful character and wouldn't dream to trade him for his EA counterpart. However, since they chose to rewrite him the lack of material does a disservice to his character.

I love Gale and Astarion and would not change their stories for the world but they aren't really integral to the main plot. Wyll is though and yet Astarion especially has SO much dialogue he comments on EVERYTHING and Wyll barely has anything to say even on the stuff that's important to him, like Gortash's coronation.

It's just so heart braking that Theo, his voice actor, is so passionate about and loved doing his romance scenes so much but Wyll has the least amount of hours dedicated to it.

Scenes I would have liked:

Wyll talking to a child or an innocent post Karlach and he either gets hugged and gets to be surprised that people still see him as heroic. Or he's a bit too smug about it if he killed Karlach.

Wyll meeting up with a member of the flaming fist he used to know in Act 3- maybe they were trainees together when they were teens - and getting to talk about the old days like Karlach and her friend.

Wyll getting to be really surprised Florrick still wants his help in Moonrise after he's been transformed and she puts 2 and 2 together at his reaction and asks if this is why he left Balder's Gate and he tells her that his father asked him to leave. Florrick says that's BS and can become a pseudo parental figure.

The companions dialogue reaction to him braking his pact is fixed so everyone is more like how they react to Shadowheart killing her parents and aren't instead jumping down his throat like he's a power hungry maniac. It's clearly leftovers from EA Wyll when he was more power hungry but it throws his whole character off because clearly this version doesn't struggle with selflessness, he is nothing but! He needs to put himself first over his shitty dad for once in his life. Like the only one I even kind of like is Halsin's dialogue about how a plant sometimes need to strangle a tree to find it's own light. I'm wondering if that isn't something to do with Halsin being expanded upon later in development so it was easier to match it to the new Wyll. Like Wyll damning himself for eternity is satisfying if he's been selfish, but at present it's just him risking himself again and not even for someone we know yet (or *spoilers* someone useful like all the dragon tip does is give us a bit more info about the Emperor and give Wyll some confidence).

I think it's VERY bold of Ravengaurd to say he WILL make it up to Wyll. Not that he'll try but that he knows he can make it up to him. Despite throwing out the sweetest teen on earth even though he was clearly trying to tell him something. Despite likely hearing about the Blade of Fronteir's exploits and never reaching out. Even after being rescued by him to just be still so full of bitterness and hatred. Despite all his failings as a father and always putting his reputation and Baulder's Gate above his son he really thinks it'll all be water under the bridge soon. So, I would like it if your TAV was able to challenge this assumption.

I would like it rewritten so Wyll actually has it out with his Dad instead of tadpoling him what has happened post rescue. Let them actually talk finally. Wyll lacks so much agency and could really use a dramatic moment like everyone else get's in Act 3 to shine.

I would love if your approval is high enough or you're romancing him for you to be able to see his walls come down once. I think it would be so powerful if after this whole journey he's been so composed and careful and then whatever happens with the contract in Act 3 he lets you see how he really feels for once. Like you still have your talk and he's all composed and tells you he just needs some time. However, later that night when you've gone for a long rest you catch him on the roof of the Elfsong or something. He could be crying, or praying to Tyr to save his father, or screaming, summoning dark tendrils of magic and yelling about how he resents his power.

Also Florrick should not show up if you break the contract unless the Duke is dead. It screws up Mizora's dialogue and brakes it a bit. Like if Florrick didn't show up till after you killed Orin that would probably work because if you kill Orin first you probably aren't going to kill Gortash or go down to the Iron Throne. Or at least give it a long rest or two before she shows up.

There's also just dialogue that does not fit that's leftovers from EA I believe. Like after braking the pact TAV being able to tell Wyll he shouldn't be a duke because he's too power hungry. Or even the companion dialogue where Wyll is a bit of a playboy and flirts with Lazel and then Shadowheart immediately afterwards - it totally goes against his hopeless romantic nature. Not that I want them to take even more content away from him.

#wyll #wyll ravengard #bg3 wyll #baldurs gate wyll #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #balders gate 3 #larian #duke rave #ulder ravengard #bg3 #myanalysis #bg3 meta #larian critical #larian pls #larian studios

[marvelettesassemblenow]

The Porch Swing

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x female Reader 

Summary: Jake spotted you in a coffee shop and just had to get to know you! 

Word Count: 622 

Warnings:  none 

A/N: I have no clue why Jake always ends like a lovesick fool, but I hope you enjoy this little piece

He would get you a porch swing! He had no clue if that was what you wanted, but he was determined to figure out what you wanted. Although he could see it: The leaves falling from the trees that were scattered around the plot of land that would belong to both of you, the grass that would need a final cutting before it would get to cold and wet and in the distance just before the house you would sit on that swing under some blankets and your book in your lap. 

When he would come up to you, you’d complain about not feeling your legs anymore as you had been sitting with your feet under your butt for longer than you should have and the drink next to you would be cold already, but he would make you another one. He would do anything for you, he knew it. 

“Hey, I’m Jake. I was wondering what you’re reading,” he told you when he made his way over to the table you were occupying in the coffee shop. 

Bewildered you looked up from your book and he could only hope that he was able to distract you from reading over and over again. He didn’t know where this came from, but he just had to know you! 

“It’s actually a – uhm romance novel,” you told him and showed him the cover of the book. 

“No need to be shy about enjoying something,” he winked at you. “Is this seat taken? I would like to know more about you and your preferences in books.” His hand was on the back on the chair, waiting for your okay before he pulled it out and sat down. 

“Is it just for you or for your friends?” You pointed behind him and he stared a little longer at your empty hand before he followed your gaze. He had forgotten all about Rooster, Bob and Phoenix who had wanted to grab a coffee to go with him, but he decided then that he would rather sit here with you, and he didn’t care if they went on their way without him – even though Rooster was his ride. 

But his friends must have seen something as they decided to take a seat at a table on the other side of the shop and they even sent his drink his way when they saw you inviting him to take the seat. 

Jake learned a lot about you until Bob came to the table and reminded him that they had to leave to get back to the base. 

“I hope I’m seeing you again!” You told him with a smile. He promised you he would before he left the shop with his coworkers. 

When he was about to climb into the car Phoenix told him that he better not wait for three days before he texted you and in that moment all color left his face. 

“Don’t tell me you didn’t her number,” Rooster asked shocked, but Jake never heard him as he was already running back to the café and hoped you were still there. You were, but your face didn’t look as happy as before when you were reading. 

“I’m a moron, I forgot to ask for your number!” Jake exclaimed and almost shoved his phone in your face. 

“Oh I’m glad you came back. I thought it was you letting me down easy,” you told him while typing in your number. 

“No, no, of course not. I was just so distracted. I’ll text you as soon as I can!” he promised. And not even a minute after he left your phone showed you a new message from an unknown number: 

What do you think of porch swings? 

#jake seresin x you #jake seresin x reader #hangman x you #hangman x reader #tgm fic #drabble #jake hangman seresin x reader

[dollfaced-erin]

𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟'𝕤 ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕝𝕖 (Blade x F!Reader x Jing Yuan)

PART 3

PART 1 , PART 2

A/N :

I am speeding because I will have to leave for a few days after this. But inspiration is flowing without a doubt... i need help-- its too early for the romance to ensue, but i headcanon that jingyuan is hella flirty when he wants to be, especially if its someone he knows. so have some fluff before the upcoming dread-- comments to improve are really appreciated ! requests are opened too ! we're gonna get through the xianzhou plot one by one, so bare with me !

"Haha ! That couldn't possibly be true !" a white haired woman laughed as she shared drinks with another.

"I'm serious !" (Y/n) heard her own voice say.

Who...is this woman...? This...beautiful and slender woman, who had strength of a thousand soldiers. Who had lovely moon-gazed hair. And bright red eyes that felt as if they could pierce the heart with a mere glance.

But those eyes were warm and inviting, as the figure sat before her, a small cup filled with clear liquid between her dainty fingers. Her eyes shone brightly, in contrast to the moon that shone soothingly above their heads.

"Jingliu, I'm serious ! Stop laughing !" she heard her past self, (Dan Jia, was it ?) say.

She saw her own fist slam against the table, rocking more laughter from the woman in front of her. The Vidyadhara woman looking frustrated.

"Baiheng ! Help me out here !" She said, looking to her right where there was a purple Foxian lady sitting, leaning against the table with a cup in her hands too.

"Jingliu...it's not nice to torture this poor soul who couldn't even confess her feelings for a man we all know too well..." the Foxian, Baiheng said, tutting like a mother.

Then the two women howled in laughter, loving the redness that spread on (Y/n)'s face. She groaned in return, putting a hand to her blazing cheek.

"That...you're not helping at all." she sighed, feeling her cheeks get red and hot. Then they heard footsteps from afar, and all of them turned to look.

"Having fun I see ? And without invitation ?" A white haired man with warm golden eyes said, nearing the three women. Jing Yuan, she recognized.

And he wasn't alone, as there were another two men by his side.

One side, was a beautiful man with the brightest teal eyes anyone would see, and matching horns perched on his head. Dan Feng, as she recalled from her past memories. And another...was...the master swordsmith.

A man with vibrant red eyes and long straight white hair held up with a hair stick. He looked ever beautiful, with that gracious smile on his lips as he quietly approached the drinking women.

"Psst ! Dan Jia ! Cover your cheeks !" Jingliu whispered and earned a slap on her back by past (Y/n).

"Is something the matter ? You are awfully red, Dan Jia..." the elegant man said, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind (Y/n)'s ear, noticing a glass hairpin that held up her hair.

"Oh ! You're wearing the glass hairpin I made for you. It looks great on you."

(Y/n) felt herself stiffen, and her face heated up even more. Then she heard a man cough into his hand. "Yingxing, keep your hands to yourself, please." Dan Feng said, looking quite unpleased with the way...Yingxing was touching past (Y/n).

"Protective, huh ?" Baiheng said with a soft laugh. "Don't worry, your baby sister isn't going anywhere anytime soon, High-Elder~"

"The healer for the High-Cloud Quintet...no squad can fully function without a healer like her..." Jing Yuan said, plopping himself down between (Y/n) and Jingliu, taking a cup for himself.

Jingliu protested, shouting at him and the rest of them laughed.

"If only we were still together at present day..." a haunting voice said, before everything went dark.

"(Y/n)...? (Y/n), we're here..." a soft and deep voice called out, shaking her shoulder.

(Y/n) opened her (e/c) eyes as she sat up straight. It seemed that she had fallen asleep on Jing Yuan's shoulder in the starskiff on the way to the alchemy commission. Ah, how embarrassing !

"You slept for centuries, yet here you are, still napping away." Jing Yuan chuckled as he looked at (Y/n) who rubbed her eyes with red cheeks. "I understand. It must've been hard for you to suddenly be up and moving."

As (Y/n) got out of the ship, holding onto Jing Yuan's hand, she looked at the bustling area before her. "This...isn't the alchemy commission, isn't it...?" she asked.

It was way too lively with people and looked like a place for socials. There were even buildings and apartments looming in the area, stalls and shops as far as the eye can see. But as far as she remembered, even all those centuries ago, the alchemy commission had a large crucible.

"No no, this isn't the alchemy commission. I changed destinations. This is the Central Starskiff Haven." Jing Yuan told her, holding her hand as they walked.

"When you were asleep I received a call from the Helm Master, Madam Yukong. I need to head to the Seat of Divine Foresight. I'll also need to see the Master Diviner, Fu Xuan." Jing Yuan said, shaking his head. He put his hand to his head, chuckling softly.

His shaggy bangs moved as he shook his head, something she found very...cute for some reason. She just...wanted to touch his hair a little. Would it be a crime...? To do so...?

(Y/n)...couldn't help it. She was just so entranced by this man. She couldn't help it, he was so...beautiful for a man. Even in her dreams, he was still the same man.

He was indeed tall, perhaps towering over 180cm. And she thought she was already tall with the heels beneath her feet.

But she got closer to him and he noticed, stopping in his tracks. She reached out her hand, and tucked a strand of white hair behind his ear. And as she did, she took the opportunity to brush away his silver locks away from his eyes, gazing into those beautiful honey colored eyes, gasping softly at the beautiful sight before her.

And the surprising part was when he leaned into her touch, a small smirk on his lips. He seemed to enjoy the attention she was giving him. A light sound rumbled in his throat, as he gazed at her with those alluring eyes of his.

Was that purring...?!

"So, how is my hair, princess~? Soft ?" he purred delightedly, bringing a hand to touch the hand that held his face tenderly.

(Y/n) snapped out of it and pulled her hand back, her face beaming into a bright red. Then only she realized the eyes peering around them, all of them, men and women alike, blushing as they watched the affectionate interaction between the general of the Luofu and a Vidyadhara woman in public.

"It's...it's very soft. Like a kitten's fur..." (Y/n) muttered softly before Jing Yuan laughed heartily, taking her hand once more, turning as they continued to walk down the alley.

"Would you like to follow me to the Seat of Divine Foresight ? You could try jog your memory there with all the documents. You could also read anything you'd like in there." Jing Yuan said, bringing the smaller woman with him.

(Y/n) nodded, sounding quite pleased with the idea of reading articles to try remember who she once was. Since she hadn't died and still had access to some of her memories, perhaps that she could know and regain more there.

And perhaps...she could learn more about herself. The information she so desperately needed. Maybe she could trigger her memories ?

"Jing Yuan...who was I back then ?" (Y/n) asked, recalling that he called her the younger sister of the High Elder of the Vidyadhara. She didn't want to overexcite herself, but was she someone important ?

"In fact, you were quite important back in the day. Before your sentence, you were the Head Healer of the alchemy commission. You were...the main healer of the knights who were constantly at war, fighting the mara-struck abominations." Jing Yuan said as they walked towards the jetty that would lead them to the Seat of Divine Foresight.

"Unlike the High Elder who was actively on the battlefields, you stayed back to heal the wounded. You were...more of the support type, never one to fight unless the other party was down on the ground needing your help. But that doesn't mean you couldn't hit someone if you really wanted to." he chuckled and she chuckled lightly at that too.

She was slowly regaining her former memories. Everything that Jing Yuan told her, felt right and in place. So she knew he wasn't lying. Well, there wasn't anything he wanted to lie about anyway. It seemed that...while her body didn't die, her mind did, granting her...another person with the same body and memories.

"What was I...sentenced for...?" (Y/n) asked softly as she saw Jing Yuan tense up slightly. Then he looked at her with a smile.

"There's no need for you to worry about that, princess. That was the sins past you had to suffer. No need to dwell on it now."

As much as he wanted her to remember, as much as he wanted her to recall those lost memories, he couldn't. He couldn't let her bear the weight of what her past self did. Not when she was reborn anew.

And he would do all he could to protect the only person he had from all those times back. Protect her to ensure she wouldn't leave. So she wouldn't leave him like all the others.

The two didn't say anything anymore. It seemed that her question really caught him off guard since he was deep in thought after answering her. And it seemed that it wasn't a good ending too from the way he squeezed her hand.

"Hey...I'm sorry." (Y/n) said, squeezing his hand a little as they arrived at the port, waiting for a starskiff to escort them. She looked really guilty, feeling as if she had ruined the whole mood.

But Jing Yuan looked at her with a warm smile on his lips. He raised his free hand to ruffle her lovely (h/c) hair with a laugh rumbling down his throat. "No need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. It's by nature to want to know, right ?"

"So why are we heading to the Seat of Divine Foresight ? Something about the Helm Master." (Y/n) asked as a starskiff arrived, the guard on post bowing to Jing Yuan and stared at the beautiful woman he brought with her.

"We have some...unexpected guests on the Luofu. And a Stellaron hunter on the loose." Jing Yuan said, before looking at (Y/n), a serious gaze in his eyes.

"He goes by the name....Blade."

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr blade x reader #hsr blade #hsr x you #hsr blade x you #hsr jing yuan #hsr jing yuan x you #hsr jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #blade x reader #blade x you

[not-poignant]

Worldbuilding and Writing Fiction are two separate skills.

Someone reblogged one of my shitposts yesterday (the one about intimidating myself out of worldbuilding) expressing confusion in the tags about how anyone could be intimidated out of writing through worldbuilding too much.

This was kind of baffling to me, because I think I've seen it 50-60 times now, especially with new, ambitious writers who are starting off with deep fantasy or science fiction projects. When you talk to them, they've often sunk months or even years of worldbuilding into the project, but when you ask how far they've come on the fiction side of things, they usually have writer's block, haven't started writing the story, or say they're not ready yet. 'I'm starting soon' is a common refrain. 'I just have a little bit more left to do.'

The main reason for this - I feel - is that worldbuilding and writing are two different skills. Someone who spends 5 years worldbuilding has learned how to get really good at worldbuilding, but that doesn't mean anything about how good their writing will be. Many folks think worldbuilding will automatically make a story better, but sometimes worldbuilding can become unwieldy and stressful, especially in the case of a) entirely new worlds / secondary world fantasy, or b) complex worldbuilding. Definitely not talking about contemporary romance here, lol. (Though no shade to that, I've had a lot of fun worldbuilding for those stories too).

Going from worldbuilding to writing is launching into an entirely new space. If you find writing new stories easy, that won't be a problem for you, in fact you may not even have realised they're too different skills before now.

If you find writing new stories intimidating, sometimes having hundreds or thousands of things about your world to try and constantly remember can feel overwhelming and mess with the executive function needed to start a chapter.

In some cases, worldbuilding can make it much easier to start a story. But it really depends on what you're needing to do. If you're just writing a contemporary story where you need to research two characters and two jobs, you're generally going to be just fine.

If on the other hand, you have the equivalent of a 500 page Wiki behind-the-scenes, it can feel overwhelming very quickly.

New writers fall into this trap the most, I feel. They become accustomed to what worldbuilding feels like, and they hedge on writing the actual fiction, because they just have more experience worldbuilding and keep waiting for their confidence in worldbuilding to become 'confidence in starting the story.' It doesn't work that way. They're different skills.

They might even be better at worldbuilding than writing! But that just means - if they really want to be a writer - that writing is the skill they really need to work on the most. That can be a comfort zone issue too. It can also be a 'only about 5-10% of all this work will ever appear in the story' issue, where folks want to share the worldbuilding more than the characters or plot, and therefore are just not inspired to work on their story. It can be a 'I want this story to be as good as my worldbuilding' issue. It can be a 'I find the worldbuilding part easy' issue. There are lots of reasons people stall out in worldbuilding and then feel intimidated to write the actual story.

This can also happen with established writers who become aware that the more they know about their world, the more they don't know about their world. It can start to feel like - if you write 10 articles for yourself, you end up with 100 more to write. If you write those 100 articles, you have another 300 to write. Worldbuilding never ends. Worldbuilding can be endless, and if you're an immersive writer, you can get lost very easily in the details, or in not knowing what details are critical and what details aren't. (A hint here is that you'll figure that out really fast when you start writing).

Stalling in worldbuilding can be a lot of things, it can tell you that there's something broken in the world, something broken in the story, it can tell you more about your insecurities, it can tell you how good you are at one skill and where you might need practice in another. It's super informative!

But, generally speaking, the advice I tend to give to many new writers is to try not to let your worldbuilding period last too long. Ideally, put a timer on it and see how it feels to start writing your story once the timer has gone off (3 months, 6 months, 3 weeks, put it in your phone or in your calendar, and start the first chapter, or some random scene, once that time is up).

If, after that period of time lapses, you still aren't ready to start your story, something bigger might be going on. It's an opportunity to dig deeper into the situation. And sometimes just ask yourself if you're using the idea of a novel as an excuse to do what you love most: Worldbuilding. If that's the case, there are other jobs you can parlay a solid worldbuilding ability into. It doesn't have to lead to novels. :)

But yeah it's super super common for many writers to stall out between worldbuilding and writing, and to feel overwhelmed by their own worldbuilding.

New writers get affected by it the most based on observation and hanging around writing forums, and the advice that gets asked quite often specifically on 'when do I go from worldbuilding to writing the story,' but established writers experience it too, because as Gene Wolfe once said to Neil Gaiman: "You never learn how to write a novel, Neil. You just learn how to write the novel you are on."

#on writing #on worldbuilding #dodgy advice #worldbuilding and writing are two different skills #and writing one novel in one world #doesn't necessarily teach you how to write another novel in another world #likewise worldbuilding doesn't teach you how to write the novel that will follow #it just gives you a lot of meat for the structure itself #some folks don't notice a difference and never realise they're different skills #some people just notice that worldbuilding makes things easier #and for the rest of us it can definitely be a mixed bag

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Five Fics Friday: January 12/24

Happy Friday everyone!! I hope you had a wonderful week, and are ready to enjoy some more fic recs to get you started on the weekend! Enjoy!!

RECENTLY BOOKMARKED

Spare Parts by Raina_at (E, 63,497 w., 10 Ch. || 24th Century / Futurism AU || Post TRF, Pre-TRF Relationship, Case Fic, Mutual Pining, Estrangement, Reconciliation, Science Fiction, Reunion, Nightmares, Angry John, Cybernetic John, Emotional Discussions / Heart to Heart, POV John, Scars, Past Drug Use, Forehead Touching, Emotional Lovemaking, Kissing, Apologies, Kidnapping, Rescue Mission, BAMF John, Bed Sharing, Top Sherlock) – Two years ago, Sherlock Holmes jumped off the roof of New London Hospital. Two months ago, he walked into John's clinic as if no time had passed at all. John hasn't seen him since. But then Sherlock knocks on John's door with a case he can't say no to, and while figuring out why the biggest manufacturer or synthetic limbs in the System is going after veterans, they also need to find out whether there's a way to fix what's broken between them. Part 1 of Realigning Gravity

Fade To Black by twistedthicket1 (M, 93,389 w., 29 Ch. || Split Personality Disorder / DID, Action, Romance, Violence, Implied Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Fluff and Angst, Baskerville, Human Experimentation, PTSD, Implied Self Harm, Trauma Amnesia, Past Child Sexual Abuse, Protective Sherlock, Smoking, Meddling Mycroft, Past Victor/Sherlock, Gay Sherlock, Sherlock’s Past, First Kiss/Time) – John Watson believes one day he'll just fade. That he'll drown in the black spaces of his mind, and that one day he will no longer exist. It's always been like this, the dark spots marking out moments in his life he can't remember. Where for just a moment he's someone else. Having a Dissociative identity disorder, he can't even be entirely sure he's really who he says he is. Then he meets Sherlock Holmes. A brilliant detective who when he looks at you can read your entire life story. John is immediately fascinated and afraid, half-wondering if maybe Sherlock can see the other personalities in him and half terrified of the thought of him finding out. Becoming his flatmate seems at once to be a wonderful and horrible idea. Yet as John's Blackouts become more and more severe and his other personalities begin to truly awaken and show themselves with Sherlock's help, the two soon discover that sometimes even the kindest person can harbour a demon best left untouched inside of them. Because not all of John's other personalities play nicely and some may be hiding secrets best left undisturbed...

MARKED FOR LATER

Hand Me the Salt, Love? by topsyturvy_turtely (G, 554 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Pet Names, Flustered Sherlock, Cooking, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Fluff Without Plot) – John is cooking. Sherlock is not helping. Until...

Locked Room by Calais_Reno (T, 8,346 w., 2 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting AU || Pool Scene, Mystery, Near Death Experience, Drug Addiction, Serious Injuries, Temporary Amnesia, POV Alternating, Love Confessions, Happy Ending) – John wakes up in a locked room, unable to remember how he got here. The last thing he remembers is his hands covered in blood, trying to keep a soldier from dying. His roommate also seems to be suffering from amnesia, and has decided that John is a delusion. Part 33 of Just Johnlock

Walk of Shame by 72reasons (E, 14,355+ w., 9/? Ch. || WiP || Alternate First Meeting AU || Meet-Ugly, Bisexual John, Gay Sherlock, Alternating POV, Sad John, Suicidal Thoughts, Casual Sex, Strangers to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Threesome, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Frottage, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex) – John is just back from the war and wanders the city wondering what he’s going to do. One of his distractions is having casual sex with a beautiful, but annoying, woman. Sherlock usually refrains from sex, but in trying to stay sober he indulges in it now and again. Sherlock meets John on the street and sparks fly. Casual sex is one thing, but what about something more?

#five fics friday #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs

[wannab-urs]

Pedro Pascal Character Fanfiction Recs | Vol 32

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy folks!

Welcome to The Spreadsheet Digest, my weekly(ish) fic rec list. I read a really long fic this week, so almost everything else I read was a one shot that I kinda crammed in between chapters of the long fic. We have a pretty good variety of pedro boys this week! I'm actually running low on one shots on my TBR, it's full of series. So rec me some one shots!

All info provided by the author unless it was blank, in which case I filled it in.

Fic Recs Below!

Somewhere Beautiful

Din series by @peetiespetals

Summary: You have been working as a slave since the demise of your people and destruction of your planet. A stranger passes through your life and you make a bid for freedom, thwarted by the very man who inspired you to reach for it. In a twist of fate, the two of you are thrown together and must learn how to live with each other as the lines between slave and master begin to blur. Can you really tell the difference between duty and devtion?

Tags: smut, fluff and smut, angst, rough sex, bdsm, abandonment, neglect, physical abuse, love stories, shower sex, mutual masturbation, dom/sub undertones, oral sex, shameless smut, praise kink, bondage, biting, slow burn, spanking, orgasm control, orgasm delay/denial, cock warming, master/slave, vaginal fingering, deep throating, breast worship, pussy spanking, ball play, public creampie, edging, anal sex, foot jobs, handcuffs, cock bondage, panties in mouth, aftercare, jealous din djarin, hurt/comfort, overstimulation, strong female characters, hurt no comfort, porn with plot, sexual tension, porn with feelings, canon typical violence, slow romance, fluff and angst, anxiety, manhandling, pov second person, vaginal sex, nipple play, dirty talk, hair pulling

Thots: this fic had me in a chokehold all fucking week and then when I finished it I immediately started part two. Obsessed.

Take What You Need

Frankie one shot by @yespolkadotkitty

Summary: Frankie needs to calm down before flying you "over the fucking Andes, man," so you help him out

Tags: SMUT. Porn with a flimsy nod to plot.

Thots: Redfly is such a dick. but anyway, I love this concept. reader providing some much needed stress relief? yes please. And it was HOT. I love this so much

I cannot get you close enough

Max Phillips one shot by @leslie-lyman

Summary: “You have to invite me in, sweetheart.” Oh. Right. Vampire. “Come in, please,” you say demurely, and Max’s smile widens as he steps over the threshold into your apartment. He reaches for you again immediately, kicking your door closed and pulling you close. “Good girl,” he murmurs. “Such a polite little Omega.”

Tags: A/B/O dynamics; one small scene of men being creepy and threatening towards reader (but, perhaps surprisingly, one of those men is not Max); extremely self-indulgent Halloween costumes on the part of your author; a bit of angst; fEeLiNgS; absolutely way too much plot and character backstory for what was supposed to just be porn; Alpha!Max is his own warning; heat sex; biting; blood-drinking; breeding kink; many, many creampies; Max has an absolutely filthy mouth; look, it’s heat sex with Max, it probably (hopefully?) entails exactly what you think it does

Thots: I think this my favorite pedro fandom abo ever. it’s so fucking good. i love how max takes care of her like a good alpha, but it's not completely mired in shitty omega stereotypes. She still has a whole career and a life and hobbies and shit. Plus the smut is top fucking tier good god.

Chaste

Dieter one shot by @covetyou

Summary: Off the back of a two week retreat to the middle of fuck knows where Dieter Bravo doesn't seem quite himself. You soon figure out why.

Tags: chastity pollen (the opposite of sex pollen - our man can't fuck), mention of past drug use, masturbation, not phone sex but phone sex adjacent, brief mention of Dieter pissing (twice), cock and ball pain (not cock and ball torture), a brief thing with a glove that isn't sexy at all for anyone involved but it's there, the vaguest of dub-con for the ending (Dee sends you pictures of his dick that you didn't ask for/technically said no to but jerk off to anyway)

Thots: This had me dying. It was funny as fuck. Poor Dee... but then the end... that shit was hot in like a totally pathetic way... This came off that list of reverse fandom tropes, and now I want to see more of them.

illicit affairs

Joel one shot by @chaotic-mystery

Summary: it’s my take on what illicit affairs means. Every time I listened to it I imagined Joel, specifically dbf Joel. I hope the swifties go *easy* on me and pls don’t say anything if you didn’t like it.

Tags: angst. And more angst. Swearing, forbidden relationship, arguing, fwb, alluded age gap but not specified. Use of nicknames (kid, baby……don’t look at me ok I didn’t do IT), reader is not physically described, no use of y/n.

Thots: Mads broke my heart with this one. Joel is such a dick, expecting reader to just put up with the shitty treatment because why? because she's young? Fuck him and good for reader. I kinda wanna see Joel's internal struggle for the next few weeks after this scene.

Was it all a dream?

Din series by @beskarandblasters

Summary: You’ve always had vivid dreams, an escape from your monotonous life. But one night, something appears in your dreams that keeps reoccurring; a pair of brown eyes. Or Two people, in completely different parts of the galaxy, find each other in their dreams and try to make sense of the strange connection they share.

Tags: canon divergent (long live the Razor Crest), switches between Reader and Din’s POV, story takes place in the dream realm and the real world, set somewhere between the Book of Boba Fett/very beginning of season three, eventual smut (starts at chapter 4!), line between reality and dreams gets blurred, use of Mando’a words and phrases, no use of y/n

Thots: I could not be more excited for this series. It's a brilliant idea and it's so fucking cool. I love reader and Din's relationship. I love the parallels between them. I'm so ready to hype this fic up for the next several weeks AGH.

Trigger Points

Ezra one shot by @whataperfectwasteoftime

Summary: Ezra is a massage therapist. What kind, you ask? Internal massage. That’s it that’s the fic.

Tags: Medical kink, massage kink (is that a thing?), erotic massage, mentions of sexual dysfunction and difficulty orgasming, consent forms, the clinical is erotic now, power imbalance due to the masseur/patient dynamic, mentions of uhhh *checks notes* anal massage, lots of vaginal fingering I mean massaging, pelvic floor massaging but make it erotic, dubcon only in the sense that Ezra says orgasm is not the goal and then definitely deliberately gives her one anyway, g-spot orgasms, squirting, Penny gets on her soapbox at the end

Thots: i think i might have a masseuse kink... anyways... there's something about the overly clinical language that made this so hot. like the lack of trying to make it sexy somehow made it sexier. i'm short circuiting

forever is the sweetest con

Joel series by sistersadeyes (AO3)

Summary: your life, post-apocalypse, and the surly old survivor who darkens your door. Growing up with a doomsday prepper as a father hadn't been easy. But after the Outbreak, you can't help but feel a little grateful to the old man. You're almost sad he didn't make it long enough to see how right he'd been. You inherit the farm, the stockpile, and the bunker months before the Outbreak. And in the aftermath, you use it to prove that human kindness still exists, helping all those you can. Set 5 years after the Outbreak.

Tags: no use of y/n, fluff, domestic fluff, romance, eventual romance, post outbreak, eventual smut, texas, homesteading, doomsday prepper, age difference (14ish years), fluff and angst, canon typical violence, canon divergent/not canon compliant, smut, pining, mutual masturbation, mutual pining, vague timeline, time jumps, forehead kisses, fingerfucking, oral sex, penis in vagina sex, praise kink, sir kink, breeding kink if you squint, emotional hurt/comfort, protective joel, angst, vaginal fingering, daddy kink, possessive joel, somnophilia, consensual somnophilia, cowgirl position, creampie

Thots: This fic made me cry tears of pure joy at the end. It's so sweet and precious and full of domestic fluff. But there's also some fucking heartwrenching angst. And really fucking cool action too??? It's a total rewrite of canon and I thought it was super fucking creative and so fun to read. The smut is also... good fucking god is it hot. Joel is perfect in this fic.

go slow

Joel one shot by @frannyzooey

Summary: In the quiet of your bedroom, Joel guides you through it.

Tags: riding, joel talks you through it, p in v sex

Thots: Hot, sensual, perfect, amazing smut.

Honor and Obey

Frankie/Santi/Reader one shot by @magpiepills

Summary: You are Santi’s wife and when Frankie moves in, you have an idea that Santi helps you make a reality.

Tags: SMUT! Threesome, sort of fucking, oral m and f receiving, m/m dynamics, sort of dom reader, sort of sub Frankie and Santi, Frankie is the Pussy Eating King, big dicks, teasing, flirting, mentions of alcohol, mentions of curls, fuck licking, cum shots, creampies, a little overstimulation, one spank, pwp, just porn.Y'all know I love my subby boys... and I really love a MMF threesome.

Thots: This fic had me sweating. Frankie and Santi are so gorgeous together. Pussy Eating King Frankie is always a welcome addition to any Frankie fic, also. Just fucking magnificent, truly.

Blessing in Disguise

Lucien Flores one shot by @pedgito

Summary: you're his best-friend's daughter and he's at a party he can't be bothered to care about, luckily you're the one thing that catches his attention.

Tags: no use of y/n, age gap (not specified, but it's girthy) smoking, semi-public sex, daddy kink, f!oral, unprotected piv, light choking, mentions of reader having hair that can be grabbed (to some degree), lucien is a major dilf and divorced

Thots: I am astronomically down bad for lucien flores. It's giving latino dbf!joel. Every single second of this fic is hot. I need a cold shower. and a nap. and maybe a cigarette. Maybe Luce will share one with me. I hope he smokes spirits.

My Recent Fics

Ravage - smut | AO3 - Ezra x f!reader

Type: one shot Word Count: 1.6k Summary: “Oh birdie… I could just eat you.” OR Saltburn-style hate as consumption Tags: Weird vibes, period/menstruation smut, bloodplay and blood consumption, weird classism stuff, biting, fingering, oral f!receiving, Saltburn AU

Only Good Girls - smut | AO3 - Dave x f!reader

Type: one shot Word Count: 1.3k Summary: Dave reminds you why you should always be a good girl for him.  Tags: PWP/plot what plot, Reader has hair that can be pulled; fingering f receiving; squirting; multiple orgasms; overstimulation; choking; rough sex as punishment; unprotected p in v; mirror sex; bondage (necktie around the wrists behind the back); toaster strudel not a twinkie; excessive hair pulling; spanking

Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #ppcu fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction

[petrichoraline]

they should have left august have genuine feelings for day imo like we already saw him kinda disappointed it was not a date with mork... the whole kiss thing felt so wrong they did day (and august too tbh) dirty

to start off, thank you for indulging me with a ltts message 🥰 also I hope this isn't too long, i havent had the time to seriously think about this episode so this is my chance 💓

throughout the episode I began wondering if august was a legitimate contender and the thought bothered me for a few reasons: i had been under the impression the plot isn't really about that; that there would be no space to fit in a love triangle of this size if other conflicts were to be explored and resolved. basically that mork and day would have enough on their plate without august in the picture and focusing on those two would only slow down the development of the main couple. I did find the thought of august's intentions being serious intriguing though, a bit frustrating, yes, but also interesting.

now, I had a bit of trouble understanding your point but im guessing you mean we already saw that day was disappointed the party wasn't a date so we're aware of his feelings and they are not aimed at august anymore? so it wouldn't have been an issue if august just continued liking day because day doesn't like him that way anymore, right? because I get that, it wouldn't have been the first time that's happened on screen haha but also that's exactly why I'm not that fond of the idea. day and august having a mutual crush and that going for a few episodes? THAT I find intriguing, an actual relationship trying to figure itself out while it's doomed by the narrative because it isn't the main romance.

but august having actual romantic feelings for day and stepping aside (because the show wants this couple dealt with by the end of the first half, apparently, and it would have cut him off somehow) would be something both sad and also, in my humble opinion, redundant. I've seen it before, it's just a bummer for everyone involved and I don't need it here.

what the plot actually did was very nice, as weird as it sounds. it gave us a character who loves his mate a lot. I do not doubt that august has strong feelings for day. everyone is pissed at him at the moment, day is hurt because there was pity, mork is angry because there was lack of consideration but that boy cares for day, a lot. i suppose there are feelings of guilt, they were on the court together when day lost his vision and then he didn't contact august for over a year. august probably felt some sort if personal responsibility for day's condition or for his behaviour towards him while they were partners, for the fact day felt he couldn't tell him the truth. so there is guilt and there is pity but also there is affection for a friend, for a partner, for the person alongside which you aimed for your dreams. they have a bond (and im sure people have expressed a lot about their sync and dynamic that I haven't picked up on but a bond is undeniable).

august tried to be a better person, a warm one, someone day doesn't recognise. he tried to be everything he wasn't before because thats what he decided day wants and needs. the night at the bar he was already feeling bad about leaving day to hang. on a side note, while the episode was airing i ran to check whether the cast was there that night and if it was on the same arm. it was. august didnt lie and im paranoid lmao anyways

the scene was crushing for mork and us, sure, but it was also very hard for august. he had had an accident, he couldn't contact day and still went as soon as he could after midnight. when he heard the confession he ran which honestly felt like an appropriate reaction - indicating he was there would make day embarrassed and pretending to come in later also wouldn't work because his partner who recently came back into his life with shocking news after ghosting him for a year suddenly confessed he's in love with him. while he's exhausted and hurt. of course the kid needed time to process what the fuck is going on! and he came back the very next morning, ready to make things right.

the issue stems from the fact he had no clue what right is, his underdeveloped brain told him to be a better friend than before but it went too far off in the direction of that thought and landed at "be what he wants you to be to a T" which includes, well, a romantic interest. and that's just not something you can force but alas, earnest, stupid august tried to check off everything on the "make day happy" list.

that boy ran off crying (I would too if mork glared at me like a maddog but still) because he kissed and got kissed by someone he didn't want such contact with ( the reciprocated kiss was A Lot for him) and then realised he'd hurt the person he wanted to satisfy in every way. his words indicate he didn't intend the kiss to be just one, that he wanted to actively change the way he feels about day, that he considered being his boyfriend. I figure he truly realised that was not an option while the kiss was happening hence why the second one had him running away again.

we know august is impulsive and earnest, his intentions were coming from a good place but he couldn't plan to save his life. he acts with his heart and so he was relying on falling for day till the end with no backup plan. it's either that or he knew before the kiss and intended it to be a single gift and I can't tell which is worse. in any case he was aware of the big possibility him and days weren't going to work out so his actions were majorly irresponsible.

the kiss had me screaming NOO literally and then the second one nearly had me gripping my hair, idek what sounds I made from the beginning till the end of that scene but "felt wrong" is something I can understand though it didd feel wrong but maybe not in the way you mean?

i didn't know nor suspect august's intentions and thought process so the kiss felt real to me and though I was against it as an avid morkday shipper, I didn't think that narratively it was bad. day was done dirty a 100% (though he gets mork acting on his feelings finally so..glass half full..?). let's not forget that mork actively supported day's perception of the situation as flirting - not his fault, that's what august was doing after all - but it's something that made the fall that much worse. day was getting hyped up by mork the way he was by gee ABOUT mork before that. he gets affected by his friends' opinions because he relies on them to read the other's body language and intentions. so there is this feeling of helplessness not only because of the pity that guided august's actions but the fact he couldn't assess the situation himself. so yes, for this and many other reasons, day was done dirty by every definition of the phrase.

but as for august and the plot I'm not so sure. august as a character is, to me, much more interesting as this confused and, frankly, unintelligent young man whose heart seems to be in the right place..? but whose actions are totally misguided than if he were, let's say, a good guy finally acting on his crush after years. I suppose he could've stopped before the kiss and told day the truth and maybe day would be a bit disappointed but definitely more forgiving and less heartbroken..

but then how would we see that day can help mork tame his anger with just a touch of the hand? and we needed an act so grotesque that would lead them to have a conversation that makes mork want to scream "I do not pity you, I haven't pitied you for a second, you are so strong and smart and loveable, i love you, how could you ever focus on a nobody like him when you are everything, you deserve so much more, how could you not know that, why did i ever let him near you, i should have never allowed for this to happen, i love you so much god I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU" (yes thats what those eyes at the rooftop said, idk what yall heard.)

i believe the charm of this scene and this whole conflict is that no one there is acting out of malice. it's just people doing what they think is right. mork stepping aside was not the right move technically but it fits his character and the plot as well. imo august wasn't done dirty, he was made interesting and also he isn't a bad guy. he did some really harmful shit but by the end of the scene i didn't feel an ounce of malice from him. there could still be love between the two but one that's not based around day walking on eggshells and one that doesn't rely on august to be something he is not. when they arent forced by the outside to be in close proximity and make things work, when they can just tease each other comfortably without taking all of the other's happiness and well-being as their own responsibility, thats when they could have a nice casual friendship with a lot of appreciation for the other. i believe him and day would reconcile at some point in the future when day is ready to forgive and august is ready to stop running.

#this turned into an august defense essay huh #last twilight #ltts #morkday #im sorry if i sound too..whats the word defiant? like i am hardly against your points #i think they are very valid in the sense that we all have dofferent views of our beloved characters and we want different things from shows #truth of the matter is that if the story went the way you envisioned it i probably would still like it! im just satisfied with what we got #i say im tired and then write for like an hour jesus #thank you for this again <33 hope its comprehensible im not checking hahah

[it-happened-one-fic]

Even If The World Itself Should Fall Down - Malleus (Glorious Masquerade)

Author Notes: So, I've been having a lot of fun reading Glorious Masquerade and I saw an opening and received encouragement from friends to just go ahead and write some fics for this event. So this one is Malleus's and it was written to the “As the World Falls Down” cover by Grace Potter. The dance in this fic was inspired by Andrei and Natasha’s waltz scene from Episode 3 of BBC’s “War and Peace” (2016). As per usual, reader is gender-neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender-neutral reader/ sfw/ Glorious Masquerade/ romance/ some pining/ fluff/ dancing

Word Count: 1338

It was the part of the trip everyone had been waiting for, but I found myself still lost in my own thoughts about everything that had occurred since coming to Fleur City. 

A plot regarding the supposed evils of magic, the flames, the flowers, the ringing of the bell, and everything else.

 It was almost too much to process, even considering the fact I’d seen overblots. Perhaps the most distracting thing was the fact that I was so relieved. No one had died, lost their magic, or ended up horribly injured, and the matter had been resolved. 

I leaned against the wall, sighing slightly as people swirled past me in the midst of the masquerade. Either classmates and friends or the people who attended this school or one of the other magic academies themselves. 

It was a swirling eddy of rich fabrics and masked faces.

I had never truly pictured myself in such an opulent scene, and it felt only right, in a great many respects, that I remained on the sidelines. Grim had long since slunk off in search of food and left me alone to watch everyone else.

But I didn’t remain alone for long, as a tall figure soon came cutting their way through the crowd.

Malleus approached with unhesitating steps, my view of him occasionally blocked by a couple twirling by even as he walked towards me. A slight smile was on his face as he drew closer until he emerged from the dancers to stand in front of me.

His hand that had been holding his mask this whole time lowered so that I could clearly see his face as he bent slightly at the waist and held out his other gloved hand with a smile that curved easily across his face, “May I?” 

I blinked at him, half-surprised, before a smile slid onto my face. Because, of course, he wouldn’t leave me stranded all on my own. He knew loneliness well and had no doubt felt sympathy for me the very moment he’d seen me standing on my own.

“I don’t really know the steps,” I warned teasingly, even as I slipped my hand into his. His gloved fingers curled carefully over my hand as he pulled me away from the wall and towards him.

“Then I shall guide you; you need only trust me, Child of Man,” And as he spoke there was a certain villainy to his smile. Almost like he was proud that I’d accepted his offer, as if I’d rejected others. 

It was amusingly similar to a dragon that had found itself a new treasure to hoard all to itself, and I shook my head amusedly but let him lead me out onto the floor. Carefully guiding me around and between other dancing duos who slowly began to look our way with either surprised or intrigued expressions. 

Despite the way I glanced around, Malleus’s eyes stayed on me until we reached the center of the floor, directly under the chandler.

I turned to face him, my hand still in his as I looked at his face. And he had, at long last, looked away from me to carefully enter our dancer’s hold. 

One of his hands on my waist as the other arm was bent around so that it was pressed firmly against his own back, while I had one hand resting lightly on his shoulder and the other held out to hold my clothes out of the way of our footsteps.

Bright green eyes slowly shifted to look at me, and I was close enough to even see his eyelashes fluttering slightly as he met my gaze. The slightest of smiles on his face before he stepped forward, and I stepped back to the very first strings of this new song.  

It was an older style of dance; I could tell that much from the fact he had one arm pressed to his back, which wasn’t part of any modern style, and a part of me wondered if it was a form from the Valley of Thorns. 

From what Sebek had told me, the people there were partial to what many might refer to as more vintage aspects of life.

But I wasn’t complaining; there was something especially lovely about this type of waltz. And I found myself smiling as Malleus pivoted us around the room.

We spiraled around, remaining in the center of the room as the other dancers moved back and away from us. Eyeing us and no doubt questioning why exactly I, of all people, was dancing with the famed and typically feared Malleus Draconia.

After all, I was no one special, and he was the heir to the throne of the Valley of Thorns. An odd couple, to say the least.

As we entered a particularly long set of rotations, Malleus extended the arm he’d had behind his back. Humming slightly as I almost instinctively shifted my hand from his shoulder to his now-free hand.

His fingers curled over and enveloped my hand, as he also shifted to the side so that we were joined only by our arms, which crossed over each other’s chests, as we faced each other and we continued to spin. Almost parallel to one another.

I exhaled softly, relaxing the longer the two of us danced, and I realized that I really could trust him to lead me through this entire dance even though I didn’t know the steps.

As the music slowed and quieted, he drew me closer so that he was once more directly in front of me, though his hand still gripped mine with a quiet gentleness.

I swallowed slightly, briefly glancing away from him and the soft smile on his face, before I managed to speak. 

“I never have really thanked you for diving after me when the floor collapsed,” My voice was soft, and his lips twitched slightly. Almost like he was amused by my words.

“But of course,” He spoke softly as well. Matching my tone in a way that made our words feel like a secret between only the two of us.

Our motions continued to slow until we were simply turning a slow circle and looking at each other even as everyone else kept spiraling, and I shook my head slightly, “No, thank you… Really.”

Something in his gaze softened slightly as he continued to stare at me, and I tilted my head, smiling, “It’s nice that this masquerade could still take place with everything that happened…. The firelotuses and our trip almost getting ruined, I mean.”

I felt his grip on my hand tighten slightly as he inclined his head slightly, almost like he wanted to well and truly keep his next words so that they were just between the two of us. A tender secret not to be shared with anyone else. Be they a close friend or a bodyguard.

“It matters not what collapses. Be it the floor beneath us or even if the world itself should fall down, I will be there for you, Child of man.” I blinked up at him, feeling my eyes widen at his soft words.

At odds with my speechlessness, he smiled. Looking perfectly delighted as he slowly began to speed our motions back up, until we were whirling around the room once more. Center stage as his smile stayed ever-present. It wasn’t long until, even with his words still floating around in my mind, we both started to laugh.

At first, just a chuckle and then soft laughter as we waltzed around, drawing everyone’s gazes as they questioned what sort of secret we shared that so amused us. But it wasn’t truly laughter at something amusing. Rather, it was relieved laughter at the realization that even if everything else in the world fell away, we had one another.

Falling together just as we’d fallen together through the burning flowers, and falling towards each other as each step of our dance pulled us closer towards that beautiful dream known as love.

#Twisted wonderland imagines #Malleus x reader #briarvalleyarchives #Malleus draconia #Glorious masquerade #glomas #twisted wonderland x reader #malleus draconia x reader #gender neutral reader #fluff #romance #dance #twst #Malleus x you #Malleus x y/n #twisted wonderland x you #twisted wonderland x y/n #twst x reader #twst x you #twst x y/n #Disney TW #mywritings #it-happened-one-fic #fanfiction #disney fanfiction #dance fic #waltz #as the world falls down #yes it is the song from labyrinth #love

[everything-is-alot]

here is a rant, i hope some other people, especially other aroace-spec people, can relate

i am so sick of enjoying a piece of media and then going to engage in the fandom hoping to find more content that will help me stay immersed in the world and just finding endless shipping content.

for a bit of context, i am aroace. no, i am not romance or sex repulsed, i think they are great things i just happen to not desire those activities with other people. i do indulge in fanfiction involving romantic and sexual things and i enjoy the concept but as soon as i am presented with that in reality i am adverse. anyway. moving on to my point.

(yes, aroace people can enjoy romance and sex, they just don't feel attraction to an extent. it is a spectrum)

sometimes it feels like the whole plot, themes, and even the characters as individuals are all thrown away in favor of their relationships with other people that may or may not have happened in the original piece. i have watched this happen many times, and no, putting characters in a gay romantic and/or sexual relationship does not make this any "better". it seems the general audience would rather see characters in an allo or at least allo presenting relationships instead of just letting them exist as individuals or even as friends. then the arguing comes, and overall, the media is lost in the endless debate. with nothing left to enjoy.

it is genuinely heartbreaking every time. it reminds me of how romance and sex centered our society is and makes me feel even more like an outcast. like i am missing out on something that i am supposed to want. i feel that pressure every day. and even if i do end up wanting romantic/sexual relationships, its not in the same way as allo people and its defenitely not the center of my world.

yes, this post was inspired by how i have observed the wednesday fandom so far. but it doesn't just apply to this fandom.

i am not telling people to stop making shipping content, i am just asking people to evaluate why they feel the need to only focus on relationships, especially allo relationships. maybe it will unearth something.

people can be individuals! people can have stories and lives! platonic, alterous, and undefined relationships exist too guys! and they are valuable on their own!

i hope this perspective is beneficial to the community. i hope i was able to articulate this well enough so people can understand. i have much more to say on this topic but i figured this would be enough to get my point across.

thank you for your time.

#wednesday #wednesday series #aromantic #asexual #aromantic spectrum #asexual spectrum

[sundeathh]

Thanks to the Elevator

Part 1

Fanfiction | Masterlist

Pairing: Aizawa × Fem!Reader

Fandom: BNHA | MHA | Word count: + 4,4k

Categories: Workplace romance, enemies to lovers, tsundere, angst & fluffy.

CW: Cursing, smut and some bickering. This chapter is SFW but the whole story is not.

SUMMARY: A headcanon where Aizawa is an emotionally constipated man; but is a sweetheart inside. It also relies on my headcanon that his love language is physical contact, quality time, and acts of service. The reader is a psychologist, so you know how it goes!

NOTES: I tried to write him as close to the OC as possible. However, this is my first story. I wrote it randomly during the day, at dawn, under the influence of sleeping pills, and so on. So, apologies if I messed up. I'm reviewing it several times and will publish it in parts so that it won't become an extremely long post. Reposting is not allowed. The events in this fiction are before All Might starts working at U.A. Also, I left out the cannon events, so I can explore them properly later if I change my mind about the plot.

It was your first day at work as a counselor at U.A High School. Although you had been to campus before to attend your job interview, you weren't used to the new surroundings.

Principal Nezu was waiting for you at the front gate. After your mutual greetings, you headed to the building for a little tour before starting your day at work.

He promptly gave you a few instructions to familiarize you with the new space and routine; unfortunately, though, you are not that good at paying attention when feeling nervous.

So, as soon as Nezu left you alone, you started to wander around, uncertain about how you would get to the classrooms you were supposed to watch.

You didn't let your nervousness show, though. With all the confidence you could afford, you just walked to the nearby student and politely asked for directions.

However, before the student could respond, you heard a deep voice come from behind you as a tall man with long black hair spoke. 

"I can guide you from here, miss."

You turned around to face the source of the voice and met a pair of tired eyes and messy hair that almost made you giggle at the relaxed figure that seemed out of place compared to the workspace surrounding you.

While you were holding back your laughter, the student greeted the both of you before leaving, since someone else offered to fulfill your request.

You waved at the student with a gentle smile, while the man only replied to them with a slow nod.

"Hi. I am Shouta Aizawa. The principal told me about the work you will be in charge of." He told you, and you quickly accepted his handshake and shook it as you introduced yourself back.

You could imagine what awaited you in the first days of work beforehand, as you were told you would follow each class in the early hours for a week to gather information and remain in an office for the rest of the day to accompany students who would need individualized follow-up.

Just as informed, you'd start with class 1-A, being then bullied by a weird loud blonde after about who would be your first coworker to interact with;

So, fighting your initial apprehension, you tried to break the awkward silence.

"Sorry to bother you like this, but I don't know where the classrooms are. The principal mentioned that I would get more orientation later, but I was hoping I could unravel the place myself..." You explained your predicament as you nervously played with the ends of your jacket.

The man nodded in response, and hummed for a second before giving you a proper answer.

"I can direct you there." Came the reply after staring at you for another second. "Follow me. If we stay on this path, we'll reach the classroom in no time." He instructed. 

As you followed him, you glanced around at everything. U.A wasn't like the high schools you used to work at in your country. This one looked way more modern and futuristic than most of its peers.

While absorbed in admiring the architecture, you felt a hand ghost over your shoulder. Turning around, you saw the tired man pointing to what you assumed was an elevator.

Without waiting for an answer, he stepped forward and entered it. After a minute or two of silence, the elevator reached its destination, and the doors opened.

Stepping out into the big hallways of the building, you tried your best not to make any unnecessary noise while following behind as the apparent stoic countenance of the man was replaced by a bored expression, which only made you worry more about working with him.

Before you could overthink it, though, you were standing outside the door to the classroom which students you were supposed to observe.

"Here we are," The teacher announced while opening the door. He stepped aside so that you could enter first.

Most of the class was already there, with only two spots missing its students. Some were chatting amongst themselves while others sat silently in their assigned seats.

Aizawa cleared his throat and raised his voice. When everyone looked up, he motioned for you to follow him further inside the classroom.

"Everyone." He called. "This is Y/n L/n. She will follow the classes over the next few days to gather information about your student profile and to offer psychological and counseling support."

He stopped to take a deep breath before adding, "she will supervise your behavior during training and provide personal assistance when needed." The kids nodded at the announcement.

"So, now, please feel free to get to know each other," Shouta stated as he gestured toward your direction.

The class erupted almost immediately with various questions at once; some of the students seemingly excited.

Taking a deep breath, you stood in front of the class and prepared yourself to speak. The students immediately went silent as soon as you started talking.

"Hello, everyone! My name is Y/n L/n! I am here to guide and assist your learning by monitoring your behavior and providing all help necessary!" You greeted enthusiastically, trying to hide your nerves.

“If I may ask, what exactly do you teach?” An enthusiastic girl asked after she raised her hand.

"Well, I am not here to teach a specific subject. Instead, my role is to assist you in the overall performance of the course through psychological support to prevent the stress from causing difficulties in your school life." You answered with ease. "In addition, I will provide my counseling services for those who require them, but I can also give practical assistance if necessary."

"What is the practical part?" Asked another student.

"For most purposes, I will analyze your performance and write reports based on my professional perception of each of you during the semester while working alongside the teachers. So, you can come to me personally to request your analysis to work on improving your strengths by recognizing your flaws and learning to improve them."

Once again, an array of responses ranging from excitement to confusion hit you. It took a bit longer this time before the class settled down and quieted down once again.

"Okay, I believe that was enough introductions! We can continue our talking later as you are free to approach me for help. For now, I will stay in the class to observe and will not interfere with the teaching." You finished with a small smile and walked to the corner of the room to watch the class at hand.

As the hours passed, you observed each of them closely. By the end of the class, you already could tell which students would be more challenging and which would be easier to work with;

Before you left the classroom, the tall teacher gestured to get your attention, asking your initial opinion about the students. You answered as briefly and objectively as possible, receiving just a nod in response.

Once he turned his attention away from you without saying anything else, you excused yourself and left.

To you, it appeared to be a pretty quiet morning for a first day at work.

It was a little weird, sure – you caught Aizawa sleeping in the corner of the classroom like a yellow worm when you returned from lunch – but everything else was going well.

You let the weight off your shoulders after realizing that your initial nervousness was not all that justifiable.

The man that supposedly would be a headache for you did not seem so intimidating anymore.

He seemed to be just eccentric, and that was fine. You could handle it.

Or so you thought.

- - -

On your first day of work, the rest of the staff was introduced to you, just as well. And, a few weeks after that, you already had adapted yourself to your workplace and coworkers.

That is, with most of them. Working alongside Aizawa was quite intriguing.

At first, working with him was not much different than it had been on the first day, as you only talked to each other about what was necessary and convenient to work.

After a few weeks, however, for no apparent reason, every time you would step into the same room as him, his sharp gaze would immediately lock onto your frame and scrutinize you without a single word, almost like he was angry at you.

His eyebrows would contract ever so slightly, but his expression remained unreadable.

He would, eventually, act normal and talk to you to ask your thoughts on the students but would say nothing more than that.

Other times, though, he seemed to completely ignore you as you talked about your perception of the students during training classes, eventually grunting at you, annoyed, as if that was any kind of response.

At the end of the work shift, however, he would pressure you to deliver your notes and reports to him as soon as possible.

After a few weeks of working with him like this, you concluded that he didn't like having someone else influencing his work directly, as he seemed to be rigid and have his way of doing things.

He seemed to prefer just reading what you had pointed out and drawing his conclusions. And so you went on with your workdays.

You barely spoke to each other, except during the rare social formalities the two of you would exchange.

On one particular morning, though, he was sitting on the couch in the teachers' lounge grading papers by himself when you arrived.

"Morning." You muttered quietly. You hadn't expected him to even acknowledge your presence, so you were surprised when he spoke.

"Morning. Didn't expect you to arrive early." He answered.

"Oh. Yeah, I had to come early to finish a report." You said monotonously. You knew you would have to deal with this awkward aura every time you interacted with the man, so you always tried to cut the dialogue short and narrow the subject down to professional matters.

"I see. You can sit down here, then." He said without even looking up at you as he gestured to the empty seat beside him. You only nodded and obliged.

As you settled down and started to pull out your laptop from your bag, you were slightly startled by the sudden noise of Aizawa clearing his throat.

He looked up from his papers and stared at you for a moment as if considering something.

"Yes?" You asked, studying his stare.

He blinked before looking back down at his papers. "Nothing." He responded, returning to his grading.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, he suddenly spoke up again. "What's your quirk?"

You looked at him with furrowed brows since you didn't expect him to talk to you or ask about anything not correlated with work or his students, and the fact that he replied to your good morning with small talk and asked you to sit with him was unusual enough.

While this was unexpected, it was not all off-putting. Maybe Shouta was only tracking you to see how else you could affect his students.

"Your quirk. What is it?" He repeated, faced with your lack of response.

"I can access the memory of people I touch. I can also modify them, create one or erase it. However, I can only do the last three properly if the person is willing to and wants it. It was good to help people deal with trauma before; that's why I became a psychologist in the first place." You explained.

His gaze seemed to darken slightly at that statement, and he just resumed to his grading. After some seconds, though, he lifted his head to look at you again. "Have you ever tried to get the advantage of this quirk? Manipulate people without their consent?" He inquired.

You shook your head, unsure of where he was going with this line of questioning. "Never. I only used it to help. Sometimes it was useful because it lets me know if people were abused and allows me to erase or modify memories that cause a person suffering, with consent. But it does not always work. As I said, it works best if the person is willing and relaxed." You admitted truthfully, trying not to sound too bitter or offended.

"It seems like a quirk that could go misunderstood easily." He paused for a moment to check if you wanted to reply. You just nodded at his statement.

He seemed to sigh as though relieved. "I guess that was why I asked. I assumed you might have a mental quirk since you are not a hero and work in counseling." He said, looking at you for a second before adding: "good luck on your job," then turned his attention back to his grading.

You smiled faintly and gave him a short bow before returning to work. You couldn't deny that the idea of manipulating people through their memories was a pretty tempting one. But you were sure that there was no chance of you succeeding.

If you found yourself using your power on someone else for the bad, your life would be hell. No matter how tempting, your moral nature wouldn't allow you to use that effect on a living being.

Maybe that was why he started acting weirdly towards you, you thought. Perhaps he mistrusts you with his students. Maybe, he thinks that your job is not good enough. Or yet, maybe he thought less of you because you are not a hero.

With a soft sigh, you pushed that thought to the back of your head. Both of you kept working in silence until it was time to head to class.

- - -

It’s been four months since you started working at U.A.

Present Mic and Midnight were the coworkers with whom you developed a friendly relationship the fastest.

They were also the people you turned to solve any disagreements you'd have with Aizawa. And, as usual, when the worm man would take his lunch break to sleep, you'd join the duo for lunch.

"So," Nemuri began the conversation while picking a piece of meat from her rice bowl with her chopsticks. "How are the students attending the counseling?"

You shrugged as you put another spoonful of soup into your mouth. "They are alright. I haven't come across anything too out of the ordinary yet." You replied.

"Oh! That’s great! And how about Shouta? Any progress?" Nemuri probed.

You froze in place for a couple of seconds before shrugging again.

Nemuri narrowed her eyes at you suspiciously. "Y/n, I think we should stop beating around the bush here. Is he treating you alright? Or did anything happen between you two?" She questioned.

You sighed, "we are fine," you stated nonchalantly.

"Really? Because according to Mic, he keeps staring at you during lessons and is practically glaring at everyone whenever you enter the room." Nemuri continued.

This time it was your turn to narrow your eyes at her suspiciously.

Midnight didn't seem to notice the slight change in your look, however, as she quickly switched to her innocent facade. "Maybe he is jealous that the kids get to spend so much time with you?" She suggested.

That was a possibility. It was true that Shouta had been staring at you strangely lately; at times, he almost seemed like he was waiting for you to do something. Or maybe it was just a figment of your imagination.

Who knows, right? You tried not to put much thought into it. You got along fast with everyone, but then again, Aizawa didn't seem like the type of person that would allow people to get along that easily. And it was alright to you, besides the fact that he stared at you weirdly most of the time.

You were brought back from your thoughts by Hizashi's exclaim. "Ooooohh! Y/n, maybe you should go on a date!"

Nemuri choked on the sip of water she was drinking and nearly spat it on the table.

"What?" You inquired.

Hizashi glanced at your confused reaction.

"Why don't you go on a date with Shouta? If I didn’t know any better, I would say he wants to be at least friends with you!" He added with a cheeky grin.

"I don’t think so." You firmly denied it.

Nemuri was still recovering from her coughing fit. After finishing, she placed her chopstick back in the bowl and sighed.

"Oh, Y/n, how oblivious can you be?"

You raised an eyebrow at her. "That just doesn't seem likely." You argued.

The other two exchanged glances.

"Well, what makes you so certain?" She pressed.

You thought for a moment before replying. "Aizawa looks uncomfortable around me. Annoyed, even. And I am just doing my job."

"You know what, Y/n, I’m sensing some sexual tension," Hizashi smirked. You choked on your soup.

"Don’t make fun of me!" You glared.

"No one is making fun of you," Nemuri chuckled at your comment, "it is more like we are thinking about you."

"What?"

"You are just so oblivious. We noticed that you keep staring at him at random times. And it seems like he stares back sometimes too." She explained amusedly.

"That proves nothing." You defended, though you were starting to doubt your words.

"Really?" Mic asked with a smirk on his face. "How often does he stare? Do you think you could count them?" He teased you.

"Shut it!" You snapped as you felt your cheeks start burning.

Both of them snorted and laughed. While you felt embarrassed, you couldn't help but smile at how easily their teasing worked on you.

"Do you want us to try and catch him staring at you? Or do you want to do it yourself?" Hizashi said slyly. You blushed furiously at his offer.

"No!" You shouted. The blonde grinned at your outburst, clearly enjoying teasing you. Meanwhile, Nemuri looked at you with amusement, her cheeks slightly puffed.

The rest of lunch went by quietly, with you awkwardly trying to finish your soup as you planned how to avoid eye contact with the man who looked like a demon every time you saw each other.

When you returned to your office, however, you couldn't stop thinking about what the heroes said. Did they mean to imply that Shouta was interested in you?

Even if it was just a crush, that couldn't be right. You didn't even know if that man liked anyone. And even if he did, you doubted he would choose you.

A small voice spoke up in the back of your mind, telling you to consider the possibilities. It was almost like it was calling you out on your naivety.

You shook your head violently. No way.

He didn't look at you as anything other than an annoying coworker, right? There was not a chance.

Then, after your work day ended, you went home, feeling conflicted over what had transpired during lunchtime.

What the hell was that? You thought to yourself. Why would they tease you about it out of the blue? And, more importantly, why did you bother with it in the first place?

You didn't know, so you decided to drop the issue and focus on the paperwork you had gotten in the week.

Hopefully, it would distract you from the fact that your mind started to race with the possibilities of what that all could mean.

- - -

The next few weeks passed with you avoiding Shouta even more, and you didn't even know why you were bothering with it so much.

Also, it didn't get any better when you couldn't help but notice how hard his gaze was fixed on you when you passed him in the lounge to get a cup of coffee.

Or yet, how he seemed annoyed whenever he caught your gaze but also slightly amused at the same time.

You were pouring your coffee into the mug when you heard Hizashi heading toward Shouta.

As soon as the blonde sat down next to his friend, he immediately began rambling. The ravenette just looked at him blankly, nodding his head to whatever the other was talking about here and there. Nevertheless, you could tell that he kept glancing in your direction, although you still avoided eye contact.

"Hey, Y/n! Care to join us?" Mic called over to you.

You turned around to meet his gaze, which appeared not to notice the sudden tension in the air.

Phony.

"Sure." You replied dryly before walking towards them, taking a seat on the opposite side of Hiz.

Hizashi gave you an encouraging smile as you set your mug on the side table before turning to face them properly.

"Alright, Eraser, we need to talk about our last lesson for the week." Hizashi declared, trying to break the awkward silence that had descended upon the group. Shouta merely grunted in response.

"Are you okay? You seem kinda distracted." Hizashi began, concern evident in his tone.

"I'm fine." Came the reply.

Mic raised a brow. "Then tell me why you kept looking over there?" He queried.

"Look, whatever you are implying-"

"-is absolutely nothing that concerns you and Y/n. What I meant was that you seemed kinda off today." Hizashi interrupted.

Aizawa sighed deeply before giving up trying to defend himself against Hizashis' interrogation. Then, he ran a hand through his hair. "It is just a headache." He mumbled.

"A headache? Caused by stress? Or is it-"

"Hey, Hizashi. What are you trying to do?" You intervened.

Shouta looked surprised by your interruption, and Hizashi looked taken aback by your question. But the loud man only gave you a cocky smile. "I was going to say that Aizawa has probably been drinking too many cups of coffee." He said. You rolled your eyes.

Both of them glanced at each other, silently debating whether or not to continue talking.

Finally, after few seconds passed, the blonde spoke up again. "We will drop it for now," he said, "but I assure you, he is just acting a bit weird." He stated.

You knew better than anyone that you would never convince Hizashi to drop the topic. "Right." You replied.

"Good," Hizashi said with a smile. Then, he turned to face Shouta again, "but seriously though, what is it?"

Aizawa huffed in annoyance and looked away. Hizashi chuckled. "Sorry, man. I was only messing with you!"

Shouta remained quiet.

"So, where are you headed after work?" Hizashi inquired.

"Home."

"Oh, come on! It's Friday! You have to hang out with us at least a little bit!" He whined.

"I can't. I am busy with paperwork, so I need to go home after work and get it over with." Shouta said, a hint of annoyance in his tone.

Hizashi frowned before turning back to you. "Come on, Y/n! Join us! I won’t let you skip out on me too!" He pleaded.

You smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, Hiz. I should go home after work too." You replied.

Hizashi frowned even more at your answer. "Ah, come on! Just one drink? Please!?" He asked dramatically.

You chuckled before answering with a short sigh and a smile, defeated by his persistence. "Okay, okay, fine! But just one drink." You stated. With that, the blonde was gladly satisfied.

To your surprise, the day went by strangely smoothly after that. You went to your office to asssist some students individually and didn't cross paths with Aizawa or Yamada until the end of the day.

At lunch, you spent some quality time chatting with Nemuri and Ishiyama, happy to have a break from Hizashis' insinuations and teasing for a while.

After that, you were busy updating confidential records about the students on your laptop, and the time went by quickly. Before you knew it, it was time to leave – the school was quiet, indicating that the classes had ended for quite some time. 

Packing your things, you quickly organized your office and headed for the exit, turning off the light and locking the door as you left.

You took your cell phone out of your pocket as you walked through the hallway, checking the notifications you received during the day.

[Hizashi]: Are you still coming????? Nemuri started to let things slip out of her mouth!!!! o(≧∇≦o)

God. Were they already there? How long has it been since the shift ended?

[You]: Sorry, Hiz. I got caught up doing stuff. ( ꒦ິ–꒦ີ) But I’ll make my way down soon!! See ya soon!!!

You put your phone back in your pocket as you rounded the corner that led to the elevators. Glancing ahead again, you came across the tall, black-clad figure that had been haunting your mind lately.

Awesome.

You slowly walked towards the doors, pausing to wait for the elevator that Shouta had already requested.

As you approached it, he glanced at you briefly before turning his attention back to the screen of his phone.

When the elevator arrived and opened its doors, both of you stepped inside, waiting for the ground floor. Once the doors closed, he glanced at you briefly from the corner of his eye.

Then, he cleared his throat.

"I thought you'd be hanging out with Mic?" He asked, casually.

"I will. I just needed to take care of some stuff before I left. Why do you ask?" You questioned as you turned your head to face him.

He hesitated for a second before shrugging. "No reason."

You stared at him for a moment before nodding, turning your head back forward. But you couldn't let this opening to get something out of this guy pass. You wanted to know what had been going through his mind for a while now.

Glancing up at him again, you asked, "by the way, how are you? Mic insists that you've been acting weird lately. Not that this is any of my business, anyway, so…" You trailed off.

He seemed to stiffen a little, and you could tell he gritted his teeth before he sighed. "I’m alright." He replied, his voice remaining expressionless. Regardless, you thought that you made him feel uncomfortable.

So you nodded in agreement, giving up on questioning him as it seemed he wouldn't speak again. And anyway, your desire to know more about him was not worth his discomfort.

Silence fell between you two one more time, but somehow it did not feel as awkward as it used to. That is, until you heard a soft click and the elevator stopped in its tracks, the lights going out and leaving you in complete darkness until the emergency light came on seconds after.

Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! Check the fixed post for requests.

#bnha aizawa #aizawa x y/n #aizawa shota x reader #aizawa x you #my hero academia aizawa #aizawa shouta #aizawa fluff #mha aizawa #aizawa x reader #mr aizawa #boku no hero headcanons #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero fic #boku no hero x reader

[chaotic-on-main]

Chapter 8: June - Part Three

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence mentions, light assault

☾ Author's note ➼ Hey guys! Here's part 3, as promised!! I'm going to take a very small break from this so I can get started on my summer requests (which by the way if you haven't sent one in and would like to, please go here for the rules!!) but I'll be back soon with what I believe is the best plot line yet. I'm really excited for y'all to see it, as it's like nothing I've ever written before. See y'all with part 4!!

☾ Word Count ➼ ~5.9k

In the past, Levi never found himself in situations like the ones he found himself in lately. Before you landed in his café so many months ago, life was simple. Work, home, sleep for a couple of hours, rinse and repeat. He didn’t mind the repetition. Then you came in and painted his life with every color imaginable – everything seemed so overwhelming. But you would never find him upset about it.

Levi watches you by the kitchen island as you twirl in front of Hange to show off the new dress you had bought from the shopping trip you had earlier in the day. It hugs your curves perfectly. The front is quite modest, probably a personal preference of yours. But the back – Levi averts his gaze from the searing heat pooling into his stomach. His eyes don’t stay away for long, however. How could they?

The open back of your floral patterned, thinly strapped dress ends right above your ass, falling loosely down to the middle of your thighs. You had gotten so much sun yesterday that the lines left behind from your bathing suit cut across your soft skin. That damned bathing suit. It was extremely unfair of you to look like that.

Levi clenches his phone in tight fingers as he forces himself to look away and out the window to the early evening. Clouds so fluffy that they looked drawn on float by gently. The weather has been great all day, and he imagines it will only stay this way for the rest of the night. Was this an omen for something?

“That tour sure was something.” Erwin says as he ambles up to the counter. Levi hums in agreement, only half paying attention to Erwin’s continuous rambles about what you all had seen today at Liberio’s local history and cultural museum.

Most of the displays were about a war that happened a long time ago. He already knew a bit, considering the war in question was with Paradis, the island you are all from. Levi didn’t care too much about history, though. He spent the entire time watching your reactions from afar, inwardly chuckling to himself at your ridiculous behavior. Wide eyes and toothy grin as you went through the whole thing in child-like wonder. Levi’s eyes cut over to your standing figure in the doorway as you chat with your sister.

If there was anything in that museum that needed to be protected at all costs, it was you.

Something tugs at Levi’s sleeve, breaking him out of his thoughts. It’s you, getting his attention to warn him that you were all ready to leave. He nods and slides his phone into his back pocket before following you to the elevator, your sweet perfumes wafting back and tickling his nose.

Liberio’s town square wasn’t very far. The moment you had all stepped out into the humid evening air, Levi’s eyes were immediately blasted with bright streamers and other various multi-colored decorations. The street is fairly crowded as well, and only got worse the closer you all got to the main square.  

The scents of assorted cooked foods blew in the breeze, and even Levi couldn’t deny how wonderful they all smelled. He watches as your nose picks up on it as well, and the way you look back at him to check if you were still there makes him want to whisk you away and kiss you right then and there. Levi shakes his head to get that visual out and regrets it immediately.

You were still looking at him when he did that, and your smile fades. You face forward again, focusing on where you were going. Levi groans to himself, mentally punching himself. Did you think he was disapproving of you? It was only the thought of kissing you that he didn’t agree with.

Lies. His brain says.

Fuck off. Levi retorts back.

When you all got to the square, it was much more crowded than the town locals had warned about earlier. The music increased in volume tenfold, and from the looks of it, it’s coming from a DJ booth that sits in front of the town hall. There isn’t a designated dancing area that Levi could tell, considering everyone around him was dancing to the greatest top hits of the summer.-

Someone bumps into you and subsequently right into Levi since he's right behind you. He grabs onto your shoulders to steady you as he shoots daggers at the person that almost knocked you over.

“Are you okay?” Levi’s breath tickles your neck since you’re still pressed up against him from the dense crowd. Instead of responding, he feels your fingers find his hand and closes around it. You squeeze twice. He takes that as an okay because you continue on, but your fingers never let go. And he doesn’t pull away either.

It’s a good thing that you had a grip on him because it wasn’t much longer until Hange and Erwin disappeared from Levi’s sights. What else is new?

The crowd thickens as time goes on. Levi lets you lead, mainly because he doesn’t have the space to be able to pull forward. It became increasingly clear to him early on that you had no idea where you were going. He makes no move to stop you, though.

Levi’s hand tightens on yours and you squeeze back. It’s reassuring, something he wasn’t prepared to feel from such a small action. Whether it was from knowing you were still with him or because it was you to begin with. Abruptly, you stop in your tracks and Levi smacks into the back of you, almost knocking you forward.

“Hey, what…” Levi trails off as he follows your eyes to the spectacle in front.

A burst of heat slams into Levi’s face making him flinch. Blinking a few times, he spots a man dancing with a torch in one hand and a bottle of clear liquid in the other. Someone is off to the side, hand drumming a beat and leading the dancing man. After a few seconds, he does a back flip and then spits out some of the clear liquid he must have had in his mouth up into the sky and sticks the torch in it, creating a fiery plume above his head.

Levi’s eyes flicker over to yours, which sit wide in fear. It shames him to admit that it took him too long to understand why.

Levi squeezes your hand, only now realizing how hard they’re trembling. You don’t squeeze back. He tugs on it, probably a little rougher than he meant to. Your body sways from the sudden jerk, but you still make no effort to move your legs.

“Let’s go sit. Maybe the idiots will find us.” Levi says decisively before interlacing his fingers in yours and dragging you away and back into the crowd, you clumsily following behind.

Eventually, Levi finds solace at a fountain tucked away down the road that is significantly less crowded. He leads you over to it and sits you down gently, noting how glassy your eyes were. You hadn’t moved much since then, which Levi attributed to the possible shock at the sudden flames being thrown in your face.

It had been quite a few months since you were introduced into Levi’s life, but even still, you weren’t very forthcoming about how bad the trauma from that night so many years ago was for you. He’s made assumptions, sure. But there was never a good time to bring it up, and truth be told, he hoped you would talk to him when you were ready.

If you didn’t wish to talk about it, he would offer company instead. He understood that you didn’t need to say anything now, and Levi would wait for as long as he needed to.

“Hey.” Your glazed eyes shift from the couple slow dancing a few yards away and up to Levi’s slate gray eyes. The cool evening air blows past, blowing a few strands across your face as you try to focus on Levi.

“We can take as long as you need.” He mutters over to you. You stare over at him and blink a few times. Your lips pull back into a grateful smile, and nod.

You both sit for a while, watching the people who are currently enjoying the evening festivities. A group of kids run by, all with ice cream cones, followed by a very disheveled blonde teen who looks torn between having fun and wishing he was home.

In addition to the soft music weaving through the buildings, the rushing of water from behind offers a sense of peace that Levi hasn’t felt in a while. Was it the fountain though, or was it you? Levi glances over to find you watching him intently. It makes his stomach do flips.

“Are you getting hungry?” Levi raises an eyebrow at you.

‘I think so. Are you?’ You sit back on the concrete fountain lip you both were currently resting on. Levi could tell you were doing your best to keep yourself present, which meant a distraction is well needed.

“Let’s go get you something.” With that, Levi slides off the wall and offers you a hand. You grab it with no hesitation, smiling up at him as he pulls you off the side and a few inches away from his face.

There’s a moment where Levi pauses, glancing down to your lips that currently still curve into a soft smile. Blinking a few times, he takes a step back and mumbles an apology. He turns on his heel and leads you over to the multiple food stalls lining the sides of the closed off road, his fingers intertwining in yours to not lose you.

“What kind of food are you thinking of?” Levi semi-shouts over the chatter around you, his eyes scanning around the options then over to you. You stand, hip cocked to the side as you tap your chin with a finger in thought. Your lips jut out as you contemplate. Eventually, your gaze lands on a stall selling something called ‘pizza cones’. You point to that one, and look over to Levi with wide eyes. How could he ever say no to that face.

Levi internally groans when he gets closer, however. The line is a little long, but that’s not what makes his skin crawl. There’s only a few people ahead and Levi watches as the vendor hands a girl no older than 10 a cheesy cone. She takes a huge bite out of it before fanning her mouth from the heat, food still stuffed in her mouth. Cheese and red sauce slip out the corners of her wide smile, looking up at a familiar blonde teenager who returns a booming laugh. These were the messiest things Levi’s ever seen.

“Reiner, you have to try this!” She shouts, barely containing her glee. The boy who she referred to as Reiner glances over to you and Levi standing behind them and offers a small apology.

“I will Gabi, but we need to let these nice people have their turn now. Let’s go find Falco and the others so you can gush about it with them, yeah?” He pats her head and places a hand on her shoulders before turning her around and marching her off. Reiner turns and mouths another apology before getting lost in the crowd.

“What can I get you two?” A man leans out of the window as he eyes you and Levi. He has a black handlebar mustache that curls out at the ends and a sweaty, bald head. He smiles down at the pair of you with warmth.

Levi looks over to you as you squint your eyes at the menu hanging up by the window. Your teeth bite into your bottom lip as you focus, eyes glued to the blackboard. After a couple seconds, your eyes flicker over to Levi and puff your cheeks out.

‘What are you getting?’

“I’m not that hungry. What are you getting?” Levi crosses his arms across his chest as he waits for you. You scrunch your nose as you try to decide, which was not easy to do. His stomach flips as he watches you think.

‘I guess I’ll take a pepperoni one. With extra cheese!’ You sign excitedly.

Levi easily translates for the man and before you can dig for your wallet in the little bag strapped across your body, he whips out a few bills and hands them over. You shoot him a glare, hand still in your bag.

“Too slow.” A smirk plays on his lips as he glances over to you. You reach over and pinch his earlobe with your tongue sticking out at him. He swats at you with one hand as he reaches over and grabs the cone you had ordered from the vendor’s outstretched arm in the other, saying thanks as he does. Levi hands it over to you, and you return a grateful smile despite your annoyance from him paying. Then he points in a direction with his head and walks off, you practically skipping on his heels.

Levi doesn’t stop until he finds a fairly clear spot, landing you both where the carnival games just start on the street. Unfortunately, there isn’t anywhere to sit. Instead, he leans against a brick wall facing the crowd, arms across his chest as he watches you back into the wall as well.

You are much more delicate with this absurd delicacy in your hand compared to that child earlier, opting to use a plastic fork you had grabbed before leaving the stall. You look up to see him watching you with those stormy grey eyes of his. You’re caught off guard by the intense stare that the contents on your fork slip off and splatter back into the doughy cone. Levi huffs under his breath in amusement as he continues to eye you.

He never thought he would get this comfortable around anyone. But you weren’t just anyone anymore, were you? You were that little girl he sought to protect those many years ago. And now you’re the woman he wouldn’t mind standing next to for as long as he was able to. Levi’s thoughts falter at the sudden revelation.

When did this happen? There’s a nagging in the back of his head telling him that he’s always felt like that. What would you think if you found him out? Would you want that? Him?

You mouth a ‘what’ to him, not able to converse clearly with both hands occupied.

“You’re a mess.” Levi retorts back dryly.  

Gingerly, Levi leans over with a napkin pinched in between two fingers, his eyes fixated on something above your lip. He gently wipes at it with the papery napkin, your eyes never leaving his face. You stand, frozen, which makes things easier for Levi. After a moment, he pulls away to inspect his work. His eyes scan your face to make sure, but in truth, he just liked looking at you and he wanted any excuse to do so. He folds the napkin up once he’s satisfied and leans back against the brick building as if nothing happened. His stomach, however, does somersaults.

“Um, excuse me.” A shaky voice pipes up from in front. You and Levi turn to the source at the same time and are met with the sight of an older woman, maybe in her 70s, with a thin piece of what looks to be paper pinched between two fingers. She has a gentle smile gracing her features, her crows feet surrounding her sparkling hazel eyes. A polaroid camera hangs from her neck.

“I’m really sorry to intrude, and I hope this doesn’t come off as weird. But I snapped this photo of you two from afar, and I thought you two might like it.” She pushes her hand with the piece of paper forward to Levi, and he takes it carefully. His slightly annoyed expression turns into surprise.

It’s not just a piece of paper - it’s a developed photo. And in the film is a picture of you staring at Levi as he leans in, napkin in hand. It’s not the snapshot itself that flusters him, nor the fact that this random stranger had even taken an unsolicited photo of you both. It was the look that you were giving Levi, forever immortalized in this small frame.

“You two are very adorable. How long have you been together?” She smiles unknowingly.

Levi glances back up to the woman and stutters in denial at the same time that you wave your hands in front of your body in a declining manner. She raises her eyebrows in surprise.

“Oh, dear me. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to assume. You two just fit well together.” She reaches over and pats your shell-shocked face right on the cheek. She stares into your eyes and then gives a subtle nod. Looking over to Levi, she smiles sweetly.

“You keep that photo for memories, will you?” She reaches over and pats Levi on the chest before turning on her heels and walking off into the crowd.

You pluck the picture out of Levi’s hand and pull it up close to your face. Levi watches as your eyes widen at the glossy film. Carefully, you open your bag and slide it in for safekeeping. As if nothing happened, you go back to eating your meal, ignoring the red-hot blood pooling into your cheeks.

.

The topic of the photo lies forgotten, or maybe it was intentionally ignored. Levi wonders what you might be thinking – did you see the same thing he saw? Maybe there wasn’t anything to see and his brain is playing tricks on him. He decides to go with that and pushes it far back in his mind.  

You had finished your food relatively quickly, offering bites to Levi as you went on. He, of course, declined. He was having enough fun watching you enjoy your food in peace. Once you had discarded all the trash, you look over to Levi with a raised eyebrow, as if to say, ‘where to?’

“Let’s go find Hange and Erwin. There’s no telling what those idiots have gotten themselves into.”

For some reason, you decide to helm the expedition again and choose to go through the street full of carnival games. Levi supposes that’s not too far off for his friends knowing who they are as people. However, the more he watches your attention jump from booth to booth, he realizes you were more curious about your surroundings than interested in finding the rest of the group. He didn’t mind if it meant watching your face gawk at everything, though.

Levi is in the middle of staring at some people failing miserably at an airsoft game when he feels your fingers tug at his shirt sleeve to get his attention. He looks over to see you smiling at him excitedly and pointing to a high striker game off to the side.

There are already a few people surrounding it, watching a small woman ready the big hammer in her hands. Her blonde hair is pulled up into clip and a bored expression plasters her face, as if this is nothing for her. She shifts her weight, takes a deep breath, and swings the large hammer over her head and right down onto the lever marked with a red X.

The bell at the top rings out, followed by the loud cheers of the friends around her. She just shrugs and leans the hammer back against the base.

“I told you Bertoldt,” A brown-haired girl wraps her arm around the blonde girl’s shoulders as she smiles widely. “Annie kicks all kinds of ass. Bet you couldn’t even get it halfway.” She taunts. The tall brunette man next to them sighs.

“I’m not doing it, Hitch.”

“Is it because you’re scared of looking like a fool?” The woman named Hitch shoots him a smirk, leaning against the blonde.

“Excuse me miss, what kind of pr-“

“I’m good.”  Annie cuts the vendor off and starts off in the opposite direction and says as she walks, “I did the thing, now let’s go find Reiner. I’m sure he’s tired of babysitting all of those kids.” The other two bicker behind her as they follow.

Levi feels his shirt being tugged again, this time in the direction of the game. You don’t stop until you’re right in front of the stand, letting go of Levi and reaching into your purse for a couple dollars.

“Giving it a try?” Levi asks. After handing the vendor a few dollars, you turn around to Levi and smile.

‘Obviously.’ You reach over to grab the hammer. Levi’s concern only bubbles up for a moment after watching you struggle to bring it over your shoulder. It dissipates as quickly as he sees the look of determination wash over your face. Your constant tenacity continues to surprise him, though he knows it shouldn’t. This is just who you are.

He watches as you take a stance like the girl that was here before, legs wide and shoulders rolled back. Taking a deep breath, you swing from behind and the hammer arcs over your head before smashing down with a heavy slam. There's a tongue-click of disappointment as the puck rises just right below the bell. When you turn to face Levi, he sees your cheeks puffed out.

“If your goal wasn’t to hit the bell, that was pretty good.” Levi muses. He’s met with a glare and pout. He raises his hands in feign defense and asks, “Do you want some help?”

‘Don’t even think about it. I can do better.’ Levi huffs in amusement and nods. It’s that damned tenacity again. Without saying another word, he reaches into his wallet and digs out a few more dollars before handing it off to the vendor. You offer him a wide smile and turn back around to the game.

You take a moment to steady yourself, squeezing the handle with both hands as you stare at the cherry red bell at the top of the 6-foot tower. Again, you widen your stance, roll your shoulders back. Deep breath, a swing, and a hit. The area rings out with a loud metallic clang as the puck hits the bell dead on.

In an instant, the hammer is on the ground and your arms are wrapping around Levi in a tight hug. It’s brief but Levi sighs in the scent of your delicious shampoo and revels in the feeling of your body against his. When you pull away, your eyes are as wide as your smile.

 ‘Did you see that?! I did it!’ Your body is practically vibrating in excitement at your achievement.

“Good job, I knew you could.” Levi rolls his eyes again, only to keep himself from staring at the way your lips pull back into that beautiful smile of yours.  

“Nicely done, miss!” The vendor smiles brightly over to you. “Go ahead and pick something off the wall!” He flourishes his hand in front of a wall filled with various stuffed animals and multicolored objects. You press your hands against the counter of the booth and lean forward on them as you stare at your options. Glancing over, you purse your lips and stare at Levi.

“What?” Levi raises an eyebrow.

‘Which one do I want?’

“Shouldn’t you know that better than me?”

‘I’m unsure. Will you choose for me?’ You give him a small smile as you sit back on the balls of your feet.

“And why would I do that?” Levi crosses his arms and stares at you, eyebrows knit.

‘Technically, you paid for the winning hit.’ You shrug your shoulders.

“It’s not my prize, though.” He grumbles, rolling his eyes. You’re really good at making him do that.

‘Please, Levi? Pick one for me?’

“Fine, but you can’t be mad at me if you don’t like it.” Levi frowns a bit as he stares up at the wall. There are so many choices, he’s not sure how he could even pick something properly. Until his sights land on something tucked behind another creature that makes him chuckle. Levi looks over to you and says your name.

“Close your eyes.” He orders. A smile trembles on your lips and you pinch them tight as you do as you’re asked.

“That one please, sir.” Levi points over to it. The vendor smiles kindly over to him then reaches up with a claw extender to pull it down. When it’s in Levi’s hands, he squeezes it gently; It’s soft and big enough to be a pillow.

“Okay, you can open them now.”

The look of pure joy that paints your face is something that will stay in Levi’s mind forever. The way your smile lights up every facet, eyes sparkling just as bright.

‘A strawberry!’ A small laugh escapes as you grab it from Levi’s hands and hold it out to inspect it closely. It’s a simple design. Brilliant red pocked with little white spots and topped with green leaves. It was simple, but it already meant more to you than Levi would ever know.

You hold the plush close to your chest and lean over to kiss him on the cheek. Levi blinks hard and stares at you in surprise, reeling at the tingling left behind where you had pressed your lips against his skin. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Levi struggles to process what just happened, but you don’t give him a chance to do so as you hum and turn around on your heels before walking off.

.

You and Levi wander around the miscellaneous stalls selling various trinkets in hopes of finding Erwin and Hange. They were still nowhere to be found, but at least you were having a good time walking about. When it felt like you both had done two rounds around the block, Levi found a table off to the side of the main plaza. The DJ is still in full swing, offering music to the dancing patrons that twirl by.

Half an hour later, leaning against the table propped up on one arm, Levi is tempted to just say ‘fuck it’ and head back to the condo for the night until a young man comes up to where you’re sitting and offers a hand.

“Pardon me, miss. I can’t help but notice you sitting here and would like to offer a dance.” He says in a soft voice.

You look up at him with surprise. For a moment, Levi’s worried you’ll say yes out of sudden pressure, but much to his satisfaction, you shake your head ‘no’ with a polite smile. He would never admit how pleased he was to see the smile fall off the poor man’s face at your denial.

“You’re so beautiful, though. Why don’t you come with me? How can you sit here alone?” His voice drips with desperation.

“She’s not alone.” Levi grumbles over to him, unable to keep the hostility out of his voice.

“And who might you be?” The stranger retracts his hand and stares over at Levi with indignation.

“Her dance partner, so leave.” Your eyes snap over to Levi at that comment. Levi doesn’t give off a single emotion as he stares coldly at the harasser. The man walks off, muttering under his breath about rude tourists.

Suddenly, you’re on your feet and in front of Levi, holding your hand out to him. Levi narrows his eyes to your hand and then to your cheeky smile. You have your stuffed strawberry tucked under the other arm that sits at your side.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

‘I’m asking you to dance, partner.’ You wiggle your fingers at him.

“Tch, like hell.”

‘Then I guess I’ll go find that oth-‘ Levi grabs your hand quickly, his fingers folding over your palm.

“Don’t even think about it.” This makes your shoulders bounce in laughter, and you pull him up as best you can. He stumbles a bit, wincing at his sore leg.

‘Just one dance.’ The music changes to something slow as you say that. The dancing crowd disperses, leaving room for those staying to slow dance.

“Fine.” Levi nods hesitantly.

Oh, how he loved your smiles. The way they brightened everything around you. Levi grabs the strawberry out from under your arm and places it on the table you were both just sitting at. You open your mouth to object, but he cuts you off.

“We’ll stay here. Unfortunately, three do not work well for dancing.” And like that, he pulls you in close. His hand wraps around you and settles on the small of your back where the skin just ends, sending goosebumps down your arms and legs. He takes the hand he is holding and places it behind his neck. You follow with your other arm, properly wrapping both arms around him.

Levi feels heat scorching into his cheeks as you both sway to the jazzy tune that floats through the air. He never saw himself as someone who would dance, especially slowly and even more so in front of the public eye. But here he was, with you in his arms. And he didn’t hate it as much as he thought he would.

He looks down into your eyes as he rocks back and forth with you in place. As always, he’s drawn to the depth of your eyes and the way they shine in the flickering lanterns littering around the decorated space. He still couldn’t understand why you watched him the way you did, but he couldn’t get enough of it.

Someone bumps into your back, pushing you flush up against Levi’s chest as they pass. You hear a soft apology from behind and then they’re gone. When you try to pull away, you’re met with resistance from Levi’s arms as he holds you closer.

“You’re fine.” He mumbles to you.

Levi feels your head lower onto his shoulder, your cheek pressed against the soft cloth, as the two of you continue to rock in place. He holds you close even when the song eventually ends. Before he realizes it, one song had turned to many.   

 .

You were fairly certain that your sister and Erwin weren’t coming back, and you find yourself not really caring that much. The time spent with Levi was more than you could have asked for. But as most things always do, it came to an end. You couldn’t blame Levi for suggesting to head back to the condo, though. With his more than subtle limp and your burning, tired eyes, you both agree quickly to leave the overwhelmingly crowded streets for the solace of a quiet space.

The moment the elevator doors slammed shut, the atmosphere between you and Levi shifts instantly. Thinking back on it, you would say some of it was your fault. The way you eyed Levi as he leaned across to press the code. How now in this enclosed space, his intoxicating scent filled every corner. You were alone with him for once, with no one around to watch. Were the events from tonight fogging your mind?

You grip Levi’s sleeve in tight fingers, and as always, he looks over to you in concern. You only do this to get his attention, though why he always looks at you like something is wrong is beyond you. But maybe he should think that, because there was something terribly wrong.

“Yeah?” He mutters over to you, sharp gray eyes staring into your own.

You can’t hear anything but the pulse pounding in your ears. If you could, you would have heard how your breath hitched and the breathy way Levi said your name. If you were paying attention to anything other than the way his gaze softened, you would have noticed it was you grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him into you. If you had any thoughts past the way his beautifully marred lips looked right now, you would have noticed that your lips were already pressing onto them.

You’ve always been a hopeless romantic. You’ve read all the books, watched all the rom-coms, laughed at the insinuation that there would be sparks or even something burning in your chest when you kiss someone special to you. Nothing prepares you for the way you feel right now.

Fluttering your eyes closed, you melt. You tangle your fingers into his soft t-shirt and hold him close, feeling his body heat emanating through the cloth. Levi’s rough hand cups your jaw and tilts your head, pulling you more into the kiss. There’s a hunger behind his movements and a fleeting thought of him devouring you whole flies through your mind. You wouldn’t mind, not if it was Levi.

His hands find their way down to your hips and squeezes, his fingertips finding purchase and digging into your flesh. Heat flows through your whole body like explosive static. The tip of his tongue teases the entrance of your mouth, as if asking for permission. In an answer to Levi, you moan softly into his mouth. You were unprepared for how touch starved you were, and something tells you Levi could notice. Perhaps he was the same. 

As if struck by lightning, Levi pulls away quickly as he inhales sharply for air. Your chest rises and falls as you do your best to catch your breath as well. He stares at you, eyes wide in shock at what just happened.

Levi says your name again, softly. Perplexed. Confused.

You’re suddenly aware of what you and Levi just did. A dam bursts in you and you can’t placate the emotions you seem to be cycling through right now. You lift a finger up to your bottom lip, still feeling the pressure of his lips on yours. Still tasting Levi on your tongue. Oh god, why did you do that?

Ding!

You press your stuffed plush against your chest and push past him into the condo. You beeline it to your bedroom, closing the door behind you and sliding against it until you are sitting on the floor. Burying your face into the soft fabric of the strawberry, you take a deep breath and try to focus on the emotions at the forefront of your mind.

There’s the obvious giddiness that dances through, then the elation and the excitement. But then comes guilt, fear, and mourning for the friendship you and Levi had up until you ruined it with your own impulsive self. You shouldn’t have kissed him, but you did. And you wanted to. And you liked it. But the hot tears that threatened to overspill from your eyes tells a different story.

Moonlight filters in through the sheer curtains, creating shadows on the floor next to you. You hear a door shut out in the living space, the click reverberating off the empty walls. You tell yourself after three deep breaths to get up and get ready for bed. It takes you more than ten, but eventually you find yourself in pajamas and lying on your side facing away from the windows.

Sleep does not come easily to you. You’re awake when Hange comes stumbling into the bedroom singing a song about bumblebees. You’re awake while pretending to be asleep so you don’t have to answer Hange’s incessant comments and questions as they get ready for bed. And you’re even awake when the walls start lighting up with blue hues from the oncoming sunrise.

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☾ Previous Chapter: June Part Two

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#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction #levi ackerman #levi ackerman fanfiction #fanfiction #fluff #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #erwin smith #hange zoe #levi x fem!reader #aot #aot fanfiction #levi ackerman x you #levi x you #snk fanfiction #long fic #snk #aot fluff #attack on titan fluff #attack on titan levi #unspoken words #modernau #slow burn #romance

[edai-crplpnk]

Hello (:

Mind if you share some list of KankuKiba favorites fics of yours? Or where can I find some recommendations? Suddenly I wanna read about them but I don’t wanna filter them by kudos or # comments on AO3. Feel free sharing of your own jobs.

(You can omit this of course) Thank you! Have a nice day.

Of course! I haven't been reading a lot lately so all the fics I have to mention are a bit old, and maybe you know them already, and also maybe there are more recent gems that I don't know about, but I've got those.

Thirst, by kranquro

60k words, canonverse, action and pining

Kiba and Kankurou work on a joint mission in the Land of Wind and pine for each other while Kankurou is meant to be arranged marriage very soon. Lots of tension (sexual, but really not just that). I really like their dynamic, it's funny, it's angsty, it's hot, it's nuanced and real. The more plot and mission part is really well built too and intersects with the pining in a very well balanced way, love it.

(Note: There's also a little sequel in the series that is nice!)

20 Tracks - Kankuro collection, by shadowstrangle

65k words, canonverse, a bit of action and a lot of romance

Our little internalised homophobia and alcohol abuse Kankurou treat. I can never turn down one of those. Kankurou's very far into the closet when Kiba sort of busts the door open, I suppose. It's a lot about Kankuro figuring that out and the two of them being cute, but there is also some political plot around the political consequences of Kankurou being gay. There are some scenes that have really stuck with me hard.

If I had a criticism it would be that I'm not wholly fond of the trope of Konoha being super liberal and Suna being super conservative and that the political side of things is sometimes a bit simplistic in that area. But it's still nice, it has still surprised me in good and subtle ways in its development, so still a fic I love.

(Note: It comes with read-along songs that are great, and that's what made me want to do the same thing for Haemorrhage!)

Blanket Retrieval Arc, by HelloThereGhoul

25k words, modern college au, mostly fluff

Kiba and Kankurou live in the same college dorm and stumble upon each other. Classic meet cute. They're sweet and funny and crushing babies. Very soft, I thoroughly enjoyed it, several times.

(Note: The fic is technically abandonned? The author said they had plans for more and stopped, but it's written up to the point when they get together and it doesn't feel like it's lacking an ending to me.)

Time to heal, by Lycka

110k words, modern au, figuring out relationships and trauma

Kankurou and Kiba meet at a time where Kankurou is looking over Gaara who is in rehab. They start dating a bit but Kankurou initially identifies as ace and it causes a lot of doubts and questions about how that could work out between them.

It's not in the tags and there's no warning so I feel like I need to add it: there are mentions and non-graphic memories of incest and one other instance of sexual assault in it.

This one is a bit of a wild card. The author's note mentioned that it was their first time writing in English and that the first chapter was not representative of their current writing. So I decided to give it a go and trust that it would improve over the course of the fic, which it really did. This fic has really good scenes that I've reread a bunch of times, but : 1 It's true that the first chapters are really not at the level of the ones down the road so you have to be willing to work with that. 2 It becomes quite KankuKiba centric, but it starts GaaNaru centric, there is also a bit of SasuNaru and a bit of SakuTema. 3 It's abandoned, but the author left a last chapter to summarise the plot that they didn't write up until the end and the KankuKiba part of the fic is not what is left hanging.

Overall, some interesting and good things, but a lot of variety in both quality and content. I've read it once whole, and I'm very happy I did, and then several times just the (KankuKiba) parts that I was really involved in.

While I'm here I will briefly do a little self-promo recap of my own KankuKiba stuff but let it be know it's almost exclusively smut. They're just like that.

I have a series of KankuKiba kinky T4T smut. Canonverse. Shino is also involved in some. I hope to write non-smut in this AU eventually (mostly just pregnant Kankurou fluff), but I have none yet.

I have a modern AU with KankuKiba in a polycule (KankuKiba, KibaShino, ShinoHina). There is a bunch of smut, and a long fic about them getting together that I have yet to finish. I started it two years ago so I too am a bit insecure about my old writing in it, but I love this AU a lot so I still hope to finish it eventually. I update sporadically.

And finally, I have a KankuKiba hook-up fic in my beloved other modern AU. I have ideas to write them again in this AU, maybe not even smut, but I don't know when that'll happen.

That's it for this time I think! Thank you for asking, I hope you will like them. (Anyone passing around this post please feel free to reblog with your own rec!!)

#kankukiba #kankiba #fic rec #trans kiba #kiba inuzuka #kankuro #trans kankuro