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the-lil-exorcist · 3 months

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Numb to the Feeling|| Solo

TIMING: A couple of days after To Know Death LOCATION: The Ballard's back Porch. SUMMARY: Lil and Jameson have a heart to heart. CONTENT WARNINGS: Parental Death Tw, Sibling Death (implied) Tw, Alcoholism Tw (Alcohol used for coping)

Lil wasn’t doing well, leaning on her back porch steps, her head leaning on the post as a hand was clutching a half-empty bottle of whiskey she was taking sips out of watching the quiet night.

Her mom was dead. Even if the others' fate wavered for the moment, her mom was dead. June Ballard, who never had a bad word to say to anyone, who loved with her whole heart was dead. She died trying to save her children, and Lil didn’t know where she was anymore.

She was dead and Lil was ruinous.

Hell she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror anymore without remembering how much she looked like her. It was almost mocking in a way, that she should look so much like the woman who wasn’t there. She wondered if this was what people who didn’t believed in ghosts thought of when someone said they looked haunted.

She sat there awhile, not wanting to face anyone. The urge to run and hide was strong and only matched by the fact she knew she couldn’t.

“There you are,” She heard a soft lilting voice say the tall man crouching down to look at her. She didn’t turn her head to see Jamie, but she could feel his eyes on her. She didn’t look up at his face, not wanting to see pity or anything else. It was quiet for a moment as he decided what he needed to do.

“Move you’re too little to take up all that space,” He huffed tapping at her leg until she scooted over grabbing the bottle from her hand before she could protest. “Really? Jim Beam - You’re breaking my heart over here, Lil’ Lady.” She snorted despite herself - something that seemed to encourage the man who poked at her cheek taking a swig of the whiskey anyway. “Christ - I’ll get you a bottle of Jameson when you have a breakdown. Okay? It’s what was in the house. Also stop fucking calling me that.”

There was a chuckle from Jamie, something not as light as normal. He was examining her, she could tell his green eyes trained on her face trying to see the bits of her she was trying to hide.

It was annoying, but Lil couldn’t even begin to protest. Not really. Besides Jonas, Jamie had been a constant in her younger life, and one of the only people outside her family she could never seem to push away. Girlfriends, Friends - hell even her own family to some extent she had managed to push back. To tell them not to come in, do not disturb.

And yet here he was sitting waiting for her to try again. The same way she had tried with her brother texting him that he should leave if he wanted too.

There was quiet before Lil spoke, a silence that seemed filled with a patient waiting. She knew that he wouldn’t speak. “I - appreciate everything you’ve been doing, Jamie but - you shouldn’t be around here anymore. You should go back to Boston now that Jonas is feeling better. I - don’t want you to be pulled into this too. Besides, I know you're huffy about having to stay around so I mean if anything it’ll be good to leave right? Don’t need to keep annoying you for no reason.” It was what he had been waiting for, Lil trying to distance herself again. She was good at that, being everyone’s darling and no one’s daughter. Someone who was easy to call on when you needed help, but not a person who would reach out herself. It always annoyed him, the wall she put in between herself and anyone that wasn’t directly blood related, but it was one that he had figured out long ago what it was. She was scared. She was scared and she was trying to burn bridges so he’d go.

Searching for something Jamie was quiet for a moment taking another swig.

“Well I’m not leaving you now,” He said with a sigh messing up her hair fondly frowning when she didn’t protest. “Just because your fucking annoying Lil, doesn’t mean you’re gonna get away with pushing me away. Stop it. I’m staying and that’s final. Now tell me what’s really going on.”

She paused and sighed a trembling in her words as she said, “I don’t think I’m going to make it out of this Jamie. I have a bad feeling about all of this.” It was something she wouldn’t talk about with Jonas - a feeling of fear strong and sharp. It was a weakness she didn’t want to fester in her but under the anger it was there a twinge of realizing that she could die too. She was only mortal.

It felt silly that now that she feared for her life, given her life up to now she had spent about 28 years acting like she couldn’t die. She spent her time knowing death was just across the way and yet only now did she really truly think about the consequences of it. If she died, Jonas would be alone. If she died she’d never find her mom and possibly the others and bury them properly. If she died this bitter anger was for nothing. She didn’t prove anything.

Maybe that was it. Before now, Lil didn’t fear death because she didn’t realize she had something left to prove. That she wanted something - She wanted to finally feel like it was worth it. The ideas spinned in her brain as she sat there quietly waiting for a laugh or a snarky remark. If she was really unlucky she’d see some sort of pity that would break her. Tell her that it was true. That she really did all of this for nothing.

“You will, Lil,” He finally said softly sighing and wrapping his arm around her shoulder for a moment. “You’re not going to be alone again, and you’re not going to get away with running again. That’s true. You’re going to have to stay and face this fear, but you will. You will fucking live and if I have to drag you back from hell so be it.” He said, feeling how his friend trembled under his hand he said gently, “You’re going too because Jonas needs you. You are going too because deep down you know that you can’t quit and walk away. You’re going to do it, because your a fucking pain in the ass and too stubborn to die.” There was a pause, a shuddering of a breath that Jamie chose to ignore as he felt her taking back the bottle of whiskey, a smile playing on his lips. “There you go, Lil. See? And I’ll stay around town until all this is sorted. Hell, I’ll even help your sorry ass on the exorcisms.”

Lil took another sip the whiskey finally biting again and sighed nodding lightly. The anger still filled her mouth making everything feel harsh and haunted, but it would do. She would get either peace or revenge in the end, and she was still not sure about afterwards.

“You’re funeral,” She eventually muttered not unkindly as she heard Jamie chuckle - something loud and boisterous as he clapped her back.

“There she is - the little terror of the New England area. Come on let's go get you drunk and less sad -, lil lady,” He said narrowly missing a slap to the back of his head as chuckled and moved to pull her back onto her feet.

#all that is shown to me; paras #look at how my tears ricochet; solo #sibling death tw #parental death tw #Alcoholism tw

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madhattersez · 1 year

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K-POP BIAS CHALLENGE: JAN 2023

(PART 2 OF 2 BECAUSE I'M RIDICULOUS)

Again, I should start by saying that this is a two-parter because I'm a doofy Pan that can get attached to members of groups even if I just casually listen to them (Seriously, though - K-Pop is a wonderland for Pans because there are just SO many incredible personalities out there, UGH).

I made all the gifs below to show you the exact moment I knew they were for me. Enjoy!

Yunjin (Le Sserafim) Solar (Mamamoo)

Starting with my newest bias on the list - Miss Yunjin of the extremely talented new-ish group Le Sserafim.

She was in America for most of her life, and that has given her a large distinction - She's just as talented as her groupmates and syncs perfectly when it comes to dancing and singing, but it's obvious that she's completely unfazed by things that culture shock the others, and has made it her personal mission to challenge a lot of issues in the industry.

A prime example would be this solo music video that just came out a few days ago, which she also did the art for, about the fucked up things about pop fandoms:

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I was taken aback by this and have been sharing it like crazy since.

Other than pushing boundaries, a special talent she has is professional opera singing, which is pretty unique in the industry.

I was undecided on a bias until I saw the Studio Choom performance of "Antifragile" shown above, withher just lighting up the whole video with all of her facial expressions and the dopest denim outfit, haha. There's a lot of "good trouble" in those eyes.

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And now, the smollest (but eldest) member of Mamamoo - Solar!

For quite awhile, Hwasa was my bias in Mamamoo after a very short, initial trial with Wheein. :P

This was another one of those "switch flip" moments where I was suddenly like "Shit. Solar has been here THE WHOLE TIME. What was I thinking!?"

She is so good with her super-powerful voice, no matter the genre. In a group like Mamamoo (that are basically the best vocalists in the entire genre), standing out as the best is a hard thing to do. But, here she is, doing just that for me.

Her solo tracks are what started sparking me over to her side, but the clip from the above video is what came in like a wreckin' ball - When she spent a bunch of time learning the choreography for a song in a body-tracking arcade game called "Dance Evolution," even while being (playfully) dissed by her members, and then went into an arcade and just owned that shit. And look how happy she was to accomplish it!

Won me over, right at that moment.

Here's another example of her playful personality - A clip of her recording part of a Jazzy song about how much she wishes she had a big ass (because big asses are awesome):

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Taeyong (NCT-127) Taeyong (SuperM)

This shit cracks me up so bad.

While making a list of known biases for this post, and not a second before, I came to the realization that my (casual) biases for both of the groups mentioned above... is the same dude. Hahaha. Wow.

I know practically nothing about these groups except that SuperM was a combined group of other groups' idols (a lot like GOT the Beat is), and that their "Super One" album is nothing but bangers, but that's about it. And I've also picked up several NCT jams over the years.

Never did I expect that the guy that caught my eye in both groups was the same person, though. It's hilarious, and it makes a lot of sense. This is Taeyong, y'all.

Jesus, the swag on this guy. Look at him prance-glide sideways in that first clip. Look at him growling in that second one, which I definitely understand is a weakness of mine now.

Talented dude. Attractive as hell. That's all I know, but that's all I -have- to know right now, yeah?

Check out the first video I saw him in, a song from that no-skip "Super One" album:

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Rima (NiziU) Kyujin (NMIXX)

Okay, okay, I get it. This is a K-Pop bias list and NiziU is a J-Pop group. I understand that, but I'm also a hapless JYP fangirl and I just had to include them on the list because Rima is a bias to talk about regardless.

Am I about to say "swag" again? Sadly, yes. She's one of the rappers in the group and definitely has the highest swag level. This is somehow evened out by how adorable she is at the same time.

We've established that I gravitate towards rappers, but she's got it in her lineage - She is the daughter of the super-famous Japanese rapper Zeebra. That bit of story made her interesting from the get-go and I've dug her ever since.

It was the rap break from "Chopstick" pictured above that sparked everything for me for sure, though.

I'd like to include the video because it's super catchy and because I want to see if you find her sticking out throughout the video like I did:

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Next up? Yup, another rapper. It's Kyujin, who is also (surprisingly) the maknae of JYP's most recent group of ladies: NMIXX.

Her English, while adorably misplaced sometimes, is so confident and wonderful. Her singing is so pretty and her flows are so fresh. Don't worry, I Won't say "swaggy" this time. She has, I think, the most vibrant and unique personality of the whole group, and that's from a group that aimed to be quirky right out the gate.

She's incredibly talented, and only trained for about three years before recording the first songs for the group.

I'd like to showcase one of her pre-debut, live vocal videos where she was originally qualifying to be a part of the group. She's too rad:

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Seulgi (Red Velvet) Sieun (STAYC)

I first saw Red Velvet's music video for "Ice Cream Cake" in my earlier K-Pop adventures, but I'll never forget how much Seulgi stuck out to me.

She hit me with a combo attack - The radar-jamming, hard-to-read, slightly... angry(?) eyes, her polar opposite of a sweet voice, the bright colors she was wearing in the video, and the fact that she kicks off the whole song as the center. Yup, hooked right from the start.

And did you see her and Irene in their sinister lil' duo track "Monster?" Geezus:

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Seulgi was an easy choice. Except a flicker of nanosecond time when it was Joy. But that was just a flicker. HOLD!

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Holy shit, it's Park Sieun. Sieun (not Seeun, who is in the same group... yeah) is from STAYC. STAYC, I hear, is a real, reeeeal hard group to pick favorites from, much like Itzy - They're all immeasurably talented on equal levels.

Sieun's got the edge for me, though. She debuted as an actor originally, and that comes into play with the subtle emotions and fades in her singing. The performative lines and precise, but soft details in her movements. Her effortlessly natural facial expressions. She's absolutely flowing with personality and that all wraps into an ethereal combination of visuals to go along with her honestly angelic voice.

Positively dangerous. Troublesome, but not in a "good trouble" way. In a mischievous way.

And, oh my goodness, her (again, effortless) high notes:

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Felix (Stray Kids) Jooyeon (Xdinary Heroes)

Would you just peek at Felix. Lookin' like a mix between Link from Legend of Zelda and Alucard from Hellsing or some shit.

He hails from Stray Kids, which I consider to be the most talented group of dudes in K-Pop right now (Sorry, BTS stans, I know, I know - Remember, I'm all about that swaggy rap stuff, and BTS isn't that as much anymore).

Felix is one of the Australians in the group, so he's got that accent, which is always bizarre in juxtaposition when around his members. He can move like a basilisk. His voice goes hella deep and toasty. And, my god, he's got freckles.

Aside from all the seemingly thristy statements that just tumbled out of my keyboard, he just seems to be a genuine good guy that would sit down with you and hear you out, heart-to-heart for hours if you needed him too. A "do anything to make your life better" type of friend. The duality is incredible.

Here's a bunch of silly clips of him conversing in English with the other Stray Kids:

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Another casual bias - Hey, it's Jooyeon from JYP's rock group Xdinary Heroes. Don't make me pronounce that out loud, let's just focus on Jooyeon, damn it.

He's got such a pretty, haunting singing voice in the beginning, then you can listen to him hit American-Emo-band overdrive on his vocals at about 45 seconds into this video and during the chorus, and then you can hear yet another style tone at around 1:38. Versatile and awesome:

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I really dig his looks and that shadowy / shady / emotionless thing he's got going on.

Oh, and, uh, he plays bass too, huh? Yeah, I suppose so. Haha.

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So, did you dig this? Lawl, I'm acting like this is a trend that will catch on or something. Who knows? If even one person other than me does it, I'll be happy. Besides, I'm just here to have an excuse to gush about my favorites anyway! Everything past that is all plus. 😅

If you want to do this, too, you in no way have to go as HAM as I did creating this long-ass post. I just got super passionate about it and got carried away. As usual.

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nekoprankster218 · 11 months

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probably my best Genshin moment ever, forgot to make the post the night it happened but I just remembered it:

a few weeks ago I was doing my weekly bosses and I always do match-making for the latest one in the Sumeru desert because of the second phase. I switched to always using Kokomi awhile back and was using her this time. I was playing with an Amber, forgot the other two but pretty sure one was either Ganyu or Shenhe. I do remember that it was an all women character team.

the Amber went down during the first part but that was only because she forgot to heal before the boss. the rest of us were able to carry until the point where dead teammates get revived.

then at the final part, people start dropping. I think the Amber dropped because she didn't get my heal in time. one person dropped because they didn't reach the shield bubbles in time for the insta-kill attack. forgot how the third person died but they lasted the longest.

I, Kokomi, was the last one standing with the boss at a little bit over half health. I was entirely sure the run was dead and it would be a matter of time until I was gonna drop. I didn't. the others kept cheering me on to solo it. I decided to just keep doing the motions of hitting it from afar, drop my healing skill when it recharged, dodge, go to the shield bubbles when the insta-kill was getting ready, and just do that until I died and not stop to type asking the rest of the team if we should just restart.

this went on for maybe like ten minutes. one time I almost dropped because I couldn't find a shield bubble at first, but I managed to squeeze in just in time. there were a few points where my health dropped dangerously low and my healing skill wasn't ready so I had to use healing food instead. I think I got full and couldn't use more by the final stretch. it was also because of this instance that I discovered that Kokomi's normal attacks still hit the boss even when standing in the shield bubbles during the insta-kill attack, so now I do that every time to shave off a little bit of HP during that period where everyone else can't hit it.

I just kept doing the rounds - normal attack spam, dodge, heal skill, find shield, food when desperate - over and over again thinking at some point something's gonna trigger to insta-kill me for taking too long like some other bosses do. all my normal attacks were under 1k damage 'cause my Kokomi's not *fully* built (and even then, I focused more on healing than damage) and also she can't crit, but I just kept shaving little bits off until eventually, half health became nearly dead. at no point did anyone disconnect out of impatience.

the boss finally goes down as the other three revive. they're celebrating, I'm shaking with adrenaline and shock.

the next time I had to do that boss, it almost happened again, but I think one other person survived with me in finishing off the final phase. I guess that everyone kept dying might say smth bad about my role as a healer, but tbh one thing is that since the boss keeps moving from one point of the arena to the other while my healing skill stays in place, people keep having to move away from the healing zone if they wanna do damage. but I also may have not realized what Kokomi's Burst does besides the water walking until just now googling it... okay oof I actually have been a bad healer.

#genshin #genshin impact #my post #my posts

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stormblessed95 · 3 years

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Memories 2015 Disc 4 Pt. 1

So I asked awhile ago when I said I was going back to watch every memories DVD they have released so far, if you would be interested in commentary from me as I did so. There were a lot of people who said yes, so here we are! I have officially watched BTS Memories of 2015. Here are my thoughts as I went. There were only 4 DVDs in this one. Part 1 and 2 with the first 3 discs is already up and on my masterlist. Reminder that these aren't going to be smoothly written out thoughts. You get these like I'm live reacting, texting my bestie or live tweeting. Lol it'll be in like bullet point format sort of, just... a commentary post as I go. Lol Hope you enjoy anyway! Let's go! This will be the final part to the Memories 2015 portion.

Disc 4:

화양연화 (HYYH) PT.1 Jacket Shooting:

Omg, they are freezing their butts off! This was filmed in April of 2015 at the ocean. They would pose beautifully and then scramble into jackets and huddle up. Aww. JK took a photo of Tae while he was posing for an individual shoot and was blown away by his jawline and how fashionable he looked. Lol I get it, JK. I do.

Jihope huddled up behind a wall to hide from the wind, but um... Jimin was freezing cold before this and now all of a sudden, he is in Jungkook's jacket. JK who doesn't like to share clothes. But wants to keep Jiminie warm.

Taekook always playing. Lol they were trying to juggle the hot packs instead of using them only to end up throwing them at each other too.

So they moved inside for unit/solo shoots and I KNOW they are acting and are supposed to acting sad, but it worked. Because they look so sad and it's making me sad and want to give them cheer up hugs. Lol also I haven't seen anyone else come sit and watch someone else's solo shoot.... but Jimin was watching JKs solo shoot with the flowers and looking impressed!

Lol Jungkook fell asleep for real on the bed he was supposed to be having his unit shoot on with Tae 😂 and legit slept through like half their poses. He was leaning over on Tae and the editors are like "um he is really sleeping right now..." 🤣 and who decided that Tae should have his solo shoot IN A BATHTUB?! And Joon in the shower? What was the concept here?! Lol Taekook wrestling over the camera and being crazy. Jhope literally sleeping through the chaos as they wrestle practically over him. He must be so used to it. 😂

Hope, Jin and Yoongi being in a unit under cherry blossoms looking SO CLASSY. During the group shot the photographer goes "Oh Jungkook is doing this really well. Good job" and all of BTS turns around and breaks their own poses to look at JK and the staff is like wait no, don't move lmaoo. And the Jikook unit shoot in the flowers is so soft. So so soft.

I Need U MV Making Film:

This MV was also filmed in April of 2015. JK called Tae Chingu during their scenes 🥺 to be fair, it was in a much more of a taunting manner because Tae had just called his acting bad... lmfao but still

Suga, I slept in and came late while the other members were shooting. Also Suga, sleeps through the first group shot of them at the bon fire. Lol

The way Jimin fell and sat down on the mattress they had outside to jump on which resulted in Yoongi and then Tae jumping on top of him followed by it turning into a giant BTS puppy pile 🥺 they had so much fun shooting those having fun with friends scenes for the MV. It's literally just like getting a shot of serotonin watching them enjoy themselves. "They don't need to act. They are just happy when they are together."

Whenever they need someone to be driving in the MVs it is always Jin. Lol responsibility of being the eldest I guess. Jin said it scared him to drive so recklessly. And TaeJoon laying in the parking lot for their scene saying "we are on a date. This is Romantic." HYYH taejoon crimimal boyfriends and I love to see it. Lol Vmin starting a skit up about being bad boys and speaking in Satori only to end it with Jimin sprinting away away Tae on his back. Lol

JK enjoyed filming his fight scene so much. They slammed him into the wall so many times but everytime the camera cut he was giggling and smiling so big. And J-hope watched Jimin film his scene in the bathtub after he finished his. "Oh. You will see some of Jimin's skin" lmfao he called Jimin sexy like every other sentence during that scene 🤣 Jin was all giggly and bubbly but acted sad so well. "Do I look okay?" Always Jin. Always.

Tae is worried about acting his scene and complains about everyone acting things they've already experienced, ending it with "Jungkookie. He's beaten up. I beat him up often." Lmfao he was nervous but Jimin stayed and watched him do his whole scene and kept complimenting on how good he did. I love best friends 😭🥺 Tae really did do an amazing job.

Suga was so happy to get to shoot his scene on a comfy bed. Lol but he did it so well and looked SO COOL doing it. And the way they had legit flames all over the room. He went from freezing to too hot and back again. But wow did it turn out well. RM shot his scene last at the gas station and he was excited to get to open the gas tank for the first time. Lol

Dope MV Making Film:

Jin being excited and happy to be dressed up like a real business man and carry his ID card on his neck. That was so cute.

Jimin trying to assert his claim over the business man role and saying "no listen to me" and yoongi going "life you up" and immediately going to go pick Jimin up 😂 and the way they introduced all their new hair colors. Jimin new the red hair was getting attention from ARMY too. Lol

Yoongi and JKs cute little dance for the cameras whenever he ran off the main filming set. And JinKook imitating literally everyone, whoever was being filmed had those 2 off to the side mimicking them.

They are checking choreo and Tae says to Jimin "it seemed like you were going too fast during xyz move. I can't really tell from this clip, but it looked like that from behind." (their positions during choreo had Tae behind Jimin) And Jimin then turns and replies "I think you were confused from behind because of my butt." Lmfao okay vmin. 🤣🤣

Jikook have spent every filming break together, just hanging out and talking. At the end of filming and before getting ready for their jacket shoot, everyone is saying goodbye to the camera. JK says something and then we have a small cut and he is again at the back of the line to say something again with Jimin this time. And while they are telling us to look forward to the MV, Jimin is repeatedly reminding us that JK is NOT underage. Lmao okay Jimin... I hear you... I got it.

화양연화 (HYYH) PT.2 Jacket Shooting:

This is one of my favorite concepts of theirs. I love this shoot. Suga with the butterfly tattoo and mint hair 🥰

This was filmed in November 2015. And opens up with Jikook running around and playing in the parking lot together, Jimin waiting with basically an out stretched arm for JK to run into and join him before they greet the camera. It was cute!

While others are shooting, RM is doing sprints and working out in the parking lot. Lol reminds of him randomly running and working out before ON in memories 2020.

Vmin were doing a unit shoot for this one. Jimin was explaining that concept was just to have fun and that one of them needed to carry the other one. And he was wondering who would have to do the carrying. And the editors (Jimin got picked). Lol they were sweet though. And when Tae said he didn't like his pink jacket, they switched and Jimin says "I look good in anything" I'm so glad he is aware of this! 😂

Were NamGi pretending to be drunk in their unit shoot?! Lol either way they looked amazing with the mint and pink hair together! And 2seokKook had probably the most fun shoot with their bikes and JK is crazy, standing up on the back of Jins bike as he is riding it.

Hobi telling us how much Jimin grew into his looks and how he was so awkward and they were a little awkward together when they first met as trainees. Lol and now they are the bestest of friends ever 🥺 Hobi saying how Jimin is so handsome now and how good his hair looks. Jin piping up "well I always look good." You are absolutely correct Jin. I'm loving the confidence from everyone in this shoot!

Yoongi describing their concept. "We are running. It'll be great" 😂

I'm going to end this one here and finish up Disc 4 in a part 2 post because I love all these shoots so much I want to be able to include more photos/gifs. So the first 4 videos in part 1 and the last 3 videos in part 2 and each section gets more photos to go along with it! 💜 thanks for letting me share!

#my thoughts over memories 2015

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epicseptic · 2 years

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Erseptyl AU

Prologue Part 3

Okay, pretty sure this is like 6,300+ words so I apologize for its length... Still, this is the 3rd and last part to the prologue so the real story should start soon. This was really difficult to complete and I’m very much not confident with it but I guess I am still just starting out. Plz don’t judge me too harshly ;w;

Link to part 2:

https://epicseptic.tumblr.com/post/663233184515948544/erseptyl-au

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Marvin had returned to his room that evening after dinner to eagerly get started on his bedtime routine. He was exhausted after today and he was looking forward to a full night's sleep, but he still had so much to do. He still had to wash up and let his hair dry, then he had to brush it and do his skin care routine. And even after all of that, he still had to brush his teeth too… Okay, maybe it wasn't that much, but it sure felt like a lot of work.

Before doing all of that though, he usually liked to have some time to himself to wind down and relax before bed. He had a special set of hobbies he liked to do at times like these when he was alone; he would often practice his makeup, rehearse solo dances to himself, and he would even go as far as to sneak out for a late night walk in the courtyard. He often got in trouble for that last one though for worrying the servants - namely JJ and Chase - with his absence…

His favorite activity, however, was reading the thousands of books that were scattered across the castle. He'd always had an interest in books and must've read every single one on his bookshelf. Even when he was younger, his mother would always read to him or bring him new books whenever she went into town. It was his favorite way to learn and his window to the outside world. So much so that he had quite the head start when he finally began his studies with his tutors.

Tonight, he spent up to what must've been an hour reading one of the books he'd borrowed - not stolen of course - from the royal library. It was a biography on an ancient sorcerer, well known for his deeds in magic, as well as his research in potions and medicines.

That was another odd thing that some of the royal servants had noticed about him. Marvin had a certain secret fascination with witchcraft and sorcery. They never really knew why he had such an interest in magic but they never questioned it. He never did anything with the knowledge but he did learn a lot about famous individuals amongst the magic folk, along with many incantations and charms. Nobody paid mind to it as long as he focused on his studies though. The ones that they thought mattered anyway. Besides, unless you were born of magic, there really was no use for the knowledge. From what they understood, it was rather useless to him.

He'd finished reading awhile ago at this point and expected that JJ would soon come to his room to prepare him for his bath. However, it felt like it was taking Jamie a lot longer than usual to come fetch him.

The book he was reading now laid closed and abandoned on his pillow while he laid on his back, staring at the ceiling and tracing little pictures in the air with his finger. What on earth was taking JJ so long…?

His short attention span could only keep him entertained for a short moment before he quickly became bored again. He would read more but his eyes were already hurting from fatigue. Instead, he began looking around for something new to pass the time.

He knew better than to wander the halls at this hour since JJ would probably come in to find him gone and have to hunt him down well into the night. It was easier on everyone for him to just stay put. That's what he was always taught. It seemed like everyone knew he always found new ways of getting into trouble. He just didn't feel like getting scolded right now.

His eyes scanned the room for anything to occupy his mind but there was nothing to do. He'd been there, done that... It was all boring now. He supposed he could water the plant sitting on his shelf but he'd already watered it yesterday and it wouldn't need more until next week. So then he thought maybe he could reorganize the books on his bookshelf. But then he remembered that he already alphabetized them and would hate to undo his work. With no other options, and with a heavy sigh, he eventually settled on stepping onto the balcony to see what the town was up to, just as he had done that morning. Surely something interesting was happening out there.

He carefully unhooked the latch on the doors and swung them open to reveal the stone floor of the balcony beneath him. The first thing he felt when he opened up the doors was the sudden contrast between the warm atmosphere in his room and the chilled night breeze. It was like a blast of wind that formed an invisible wall separating the cold outside world from his warm and cozy one. The wind blew strongly against his face and his hair before he took a step forward, allowing it to die down into a gentle breeze. He left the doors wide open as he leaned his hands along the stone railing outside, looking up to the millions of stars that decorated the sky.

He always did love the stars and often collected works on constellations so he could learn more about them. He even collected little trinkets in the shape of stars and the moon. They were his favorite patterns to see on clothes and painted on walls... He just loved everything about them. Especially the way they lit up the sky every night... They looked like glitter up there and they all seemed to tell a different story. It fascinated him how everyone interpreted the stars differently. Some people studied them or used them to navigate, and some just thought they were pretty cool to look at.

Funny thing actually... For a moment, he recalled how his father used to tell him that the brightest stars in the sky were the spirits of great kings long passed, resting in their place amongst the gods. On the contrary to that belief, he'd heard so many scholars talk about their own theories on the sky, convincing themselves that the stars were huge burning balls of fire, or that they were tiny holes that punctured the dark dome that surrounded the skies at night. Whatever they came up with, Marvin never wanted to let go of that silly childhood belief. Especially because he believed that two of those stars had to be his parents. If only he knew which ones they were...

He searched each of the brightest stars he could find. There were infinite numbers of them and they all seemed to do the same thing. Twinkle and flicker. There was nothing there to distinguish one star from the last. If there was some sign of his parents up there, he couldn't see it. And so, he eventually grew tired of searching and his neck began to ache from looking upward. Gently, he lowered his head and rubbed the pain away with his hand, causing him to get distracted once again by movement he saw down in the roads.

He narrowed his eyes to get a better look at the activity and he soon found himself watching the guards patrol the streets out in town. Some of them were holding torches, lighting the beacons around the many buildings to light the roads for the people still wandering about. It was nice to see the streets lit up like this. It made it seem like the town was glowing warmly against the harsh darkness around it.

Many of the people in town had already closed up their shops or put away their supplies until tomorrow and only a few still roamed the streets, sweeping up or heading to the bar for a nightly drink. Looking around, he noticed that some houses still had lights on through their windows, meaning that there were people still awake inside. They were all probably having dinner with their families or actively getting ready for bed. On the other hand, there were houses that had darkened windows so he supposed they must've gone to sleep a while ago. He almost felt bad for watching the world below him so intently. He wasn't trying to snoop or anything, he just loved watching the people live their lives peacefully. They were the people he took care of and making sure they had everything they needed brought him a sense of solace. They were all like family to him, even if he could only view them from afar...

He watched the town until almost every person had vanished. The roads at night certainly were very different from the day. It was so quiet, as if even the buildings themselves had gone to sleep for the night. The peace brought a smile to his face, yet something seemed a bit off about tonight.

He was used to the streets being completely empty at this hour but, especially tonight, it was almost too eerily quiet. Oddly enough, while there weren't always a lot of guards patrolling the roads, tonight it seemed like the guards had all gone missing. There were always at least two guards by the main gate but they weren't there tonight, and the guards roaming around with torches... Their lights seemed to have fizzled out, as though they'd vanished completely. Strange… He didn't even see them walk away. Maybe there was something that really needed their attention tonight... Whatever it was, he didn't let it concern him too much. It wasn't out of the ordinary for the knights to change up their routines from time to time.

However, something was still concerning him. What was taking JJ so long? It was getting late and he still hadn't come to fetch him for his bath. He sighed as he waited, tapping his fingertips against the stone while he tiredly leaned his elbow on the parapet and held his chin in his hand. JJ was never this late. He wondered what could've been holding him up...

Just then, as if right on cue, he heard the faint sound of his bedroom door cracking open behind him and he sighed with relief, knowing that he could finally start his bedtime routine and finish this day off. Good thing too because he was sure he would fall asleep at any moment from how tired he was.

"Oh, Jamie, there you are! I was wondering when you would-" His words were cut off the moment he'd turned to observe the man behind him, but it wasn't JJ who had entered like he expected. "A-Anti...!?" He questioned with concern. It was a surprise to see his advisor there, especially since he had no business coming into his room like this. Actually, it was rather disrespectful...

"Good evening, your Highness," He greeted politely as he approached the glass doorway, bowing ever so slightly with respect.

Marvin took a step backwards, accidentally bumping into the stone behind him. He pressed his back against the rail, holding onto it with his hands to make sure he didn't accidentally fall over. The shock he felt in his chest was enough to render him speechless. He stood there in silence, juggling all kinds of words in his mind, not knowing which ones to say first. He had to at least muster up some kind of authority. "...You are not permitted to be here-" That was probably the most obvious thing he could say and he cursed himself for not addressing a far more important matter. He stuttered some more before asking the one question that mattered to him most. "W-Where is JJ?"

Anti had a slight smirk form on his face as soon as he heard the question, as if it were somehow amusing to him. "Jameson is a little caught up with something at the moment, so he asked me to be the one to help you get ready for bed tonight." He placed a hand over his chest while he spoke, making himself appear so confident and very atypically polite... It was almost creepy and, oddly enough, he didn't seem to find the prince's discomfort of the strange situation to be much of a concern.

This was extremely puzzling. What on earth could Jamie be so busy with? Sure he had a lot to do, but he always knew how to manage his time perfectly. For years he had been perfectly punctual and never skipped on any of his assignments. Especially when it came to aiding Marvin. As his valet, Marvin was his top priority. Aside from that, there was one major concern in the explanation that Anti just gave him and Marvin made sure to address it without hesitation.

"Jamie asked YOU?" He knew that Jamie was very uncomfortable around Anti and, in fact, despised him quite a bit, so how was it possible that he would ask him for a favor?

And yet, Anti seemed to come up with a perfect response for that question too. "I know it seems uncharacteristic of him to ask me, but I'm afraid everyone has their hands full around the castle tonight. I was the only one left for him to ask."

Darn it... Marvin couldn't tell if he was lying or not. Wait, why was he even questioning a member of his staff? He had faith in Anti and had no reason to doubt him. And yet, he strangely felt threatened by his presence… He had so many questions but found he couldn't ask a single one before Anti chimed in again and interrupted his thoughts.

"Come now, your Highness. May I help you prepare for your bath?" He bowed once again and gestured toward the door with his hand, but Marvin quickly declined with a shake of his head.

"Umm, no! That's alright... I-I think I'll skip my bath tonight... I'll have one tomorrow morning..." Something was telling him not to go and so he decided a bath could wait if it meant JJ would be the one to help him out tomorrow. He couldn't understand why but Anti was making him feel extremely uncomfortable. He just didn't want to be alone with him. This was all especially strange because Anti was supposed to be off duty. There was something very odd about him claiming that everyone else was too busy to carry out their usual routine. What on earth could be going on that needed everyone's attention?

Anti's smirk instantly disappeared upon hearing his request but he nodded in compliance. "Yes, of course. Your pajamas have already been placed in the bath house. I will go and fetch them for you then..." With that, he bowed and calmly left through the door without another word.

The instant he left, Marvin felt a wave of relief wash over him. Just a moment ago, he felt like he was in danger. As if he was some kind of defenseless prey being cornered by an approaching predator. Now the predator had given up the hunt and left… There was no reason for him to feel that way though. Why did he feel so tense? Still dumbfounded, he hoisted himself up off the rail and corrected his balance on his feet. He was breathing heavily as if he'd just run up a flight of stairs, and he didn't notice until just now that his heart had been racing during that entire exchange.

'Alright, calm down....' he thought to himself. 'It's a little strange but he's just helping out. Nothing weird.... It's kind of him to make the extra effort.' He took deep breaths, trying to convince himself that Anti was just trying to be an overachiever today. That only made sense, right? Maybe he was trying to make up for his outburst earlier that day. Besides, there had been weirder things that had happened around this castle, he was sure.

He shuddered when the night air only grew colder and blew through his hair with it's gentle breeze. He’d almost forgotten that he had been standing out in the cold this whole time. It was probably time to head back inside then... He took one more glance back at the town behind him, noticing that a few beacons had unfortunately gone out, making the streets look a little darker. Surely the soldiers would be back to fix it. With that, he stepped back into his room and closed the glass doors behind him, making sure to close the latch as well.

It felt like he had his back turned for only a few short moments before he heard his bedroom door knob rattling once again. Anti had returned with a pink colored garment folded neatly in his arms. He carefully set it down on the bed before taking a few steps back to confirm that the prince didn't want his help with anything. "I assume you'll want some privacy, correct?" His brow raised in suspicion, the creepy smirk that had previously been on his face now seemed to have permanently vanished. He simply stood there, feet together and arms tucked at his sides while he waited for further instruction.

Marvin supposed that he had been worried for nothing. Anti had been very helpful after all. At last, he let his shoulders relax while he strolled over to his bed, stopping to turn to Anti and dismiss him for the night. "Yes, I can handle myself from here, thank you. You may go now." Turning his back to him, Marvin carefully unfolded the clothes that were sitting on the edge of the mattress and began to undo the knot on his corset.

All Anti had said in response was "Have a good rest, your Highness," before leaving the room for good, the door clicking shut behind him.

Finally, he had nothing left to worry about for the rest of the night. It was just him now in his room, all by himself. He never did get to ask why exactly the servants were so busy elsewhere but he supposed it was out of his hands now. Maybe it was none of his business in the first place.

After struggling with it for a while, he finally undid the knot on his garment and set it aside by his pajamas. He was used to wearing corsets by now but it did become quite uncomfortable sometimes and, especially after wearing it all day, it always felt so refreshing to take it off.

He began fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt next, completely focused on the task and very much unaware of an ominous presence still lurking within the walls of his room. Unlike earlier, he'd completely dropped his guard and trusted that there was nothing left to be concerned about. He even stopped questioning what had happened to all the servants. Not for a moment did he try to piece anything together in his mind and he would be severely punished for it...

It all happened so suddenly. The darkness hiding in the room waited for it's moment to strike and, when it found it's opportunity, it didn't hold back. As if from nowhere, Marv suddenly felt a sack being forced over his head, leaving him instantly panicked and disoriented.

He let out a yelp of surprise and desperately tugged at the cloth around his neck to try and pry it off of him. Unfortunately, his attacker was far stronger and he couldn't budge it no matter how ruthlessly he struggled. His only option was to scream for the guards... He opened his mouth to call for help but before he could utter a word, he felt a surge of pain shooting through his body. It felt like electricity was paralyzing his limbs, making it impossible to move them in any other position. Not a sound could make it from his throat no matter how hard he tried to force it.

Quickly, his vision began to cave in on him and there was nothing he could do but succumb to the pain engulfing his mind. He couldn't even fight back. Underneath all of the madness, however, there was a faint voice that he couldn't quite make out. Maybe it was Chase coming to save him… He tried so hard to cling to the sound, as it was the only hope he had but, eventually, it too was swallowed by the darkness and he quickly slipped into heavy unconsciousness.

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When he awoke, his head felt like it was swimming. He was dizzy and incomprehensive. Whatever was happening around him, he couldn't understand. He tried to pick up his head but he felt nothing. He tried flexing his fingers, but again, nothing. In fact, his limbs felt numb... It was like he was floating and he couldn't even be bothered to move. There was no strength left in him. He couldn't make sense of anything but then again, he didn't want to. He was tired and woozy. All he knew was that he couldn't see anything. He couldn't even be bothered to understand why.

Oh wait, that's right... Now he remembered. Something had been put over his head... A bag? Something like that. At least he remembered that much.

He may have been a little slow at waking up but he soon began to pick up on voices murmuring around him. He just couldn't make out a single word they were saying. They were all muddled together in a tangle of incoherent mumbles and shouts. He couldn't separate one voice from the other so it didn't seem like he was going to glean any clues from them.

It took a few minutes of pure grogginess to go by before he began to regain some sense of feeling in his limbs. That's when he realized there was ground beneath his feet. He was upright and yet, he wasn't standing on his own. There was something - or someone - on either side of him holding his arms up. Were they people? Were they helping him up? Maybe he was being rescued. But, from what...? Was he even in any danger?

His dizziness was beginning to wear off now and suddenly the voices around him started to get much clearer. He could hear men on either side of him, hushing and arguing with each other about something so stupid, like taking a wrong step or not standing straight enough. Something like that. Besides them, however, there was another voice too. This one was much louder and it was talking above the others. It sounded like someone was giving orders. Was this their leader? They sure didn't sound like any of the knights.

The voices were so muddled, they sounded like they were coming from underwater. They were a garbled mess of words and sounds but he couldn't just tune them out. It was quite frustrating actually... For what felt like an eternity, he couldn't make sense of them at all, no matter how hard he tried. That is, until he finally picked up on something crucial from one of the men.

"...don't lose the keys, you moron! The King will be furious!-"

The King!?

It was enough to snap Marvin out of whatever trance he was trapped in. He never felt more confused than in this moment right now. So many questions were racing through his head.

What King were they talking about? The King was dead! Then again, he didn't know where he was... Maybe he was in a different kingdom? But if that was true, someone must've abducted him. But who, and how would they have carried him so far in so little time? How long was he out...?

He kept questioning nobody but the empty void in his head while he felt himself being carried up what felt like a flight of stairs. He didn't know just how long they'd been traveling. The only thing clear to him was that he was being carried somewhere against his will but what was the use in fighting at this point? He assumed he was close to his "destination" already. It was probably best if he just stayed quiet and listened for whatever clues he could pick up on along the way. He wasn't exactly in a position to fight.

"I don't understand why His Majesty is wasting so much energy on this prince. It's not like we'll be missing him when he's gone."

What!? Forget staying quiet about this! This was getting worse and worse by the minute!

They were laughing... Laughing and joking at his expense and he was overhearing all of it. This was outrageous! Was this someone's idea of a practical joke?! He didn't know why he didn't try acting up earlier, but he finally had enough of questioning everything and not getting any answers. He began to yell at them for their clownery, trying to spit any insults he could think of at them but instead of words, all that came out was muffled gibberish. He realized that something had been tied around his mouth to keep him quiet and yet, he still refused to let up. It only made him scream louder as he kicked and struggled defiantly against their grip on his arms.

"He's awake. And just in time, too..." Finally he was able to make out the leader's voice. He began giving orders out to the lackeys carrying out this operation. "I think he deserves to know just what's going on..." Their laugh that followed was so sinister, Marvin was certain that they must've been sick in the head. Strangely though...they sounded so familiar...

With that, the walking finally stopped and immediately the sack had been yanked away from his head. The moment he was finally allowed to breathe, the light of the room was too much for his sensitive eyes and he responded by shutting them tightly. And even when it stung, he tried to force them open but he didn’t get the chance to let them adjust before the gag around his face was cut and pulled away, and he was forcefully shoved forward to the ground. Landing on his hands and knees, he was just barely able to catch himself from hitting his head on the hard, concrete floor.

He was breathing heavily and didn't realize just how fast his heart was beating until now, whether it was the adrenaline from fighting, or the fear of what he would see when his vision eventually returned. One thing was for certain though. The thugs around him didn't seem to have a care in the world for his suffering... He heard the leader barking more orders again. "Leave us," it said harshly, and the sound of a metal door closing rang throughout the room.

Still temporarily blinded, he slowly let his fingers investigate the ground beneath him. Much to his surprise, he felt a soft, furry carpet under his touch. It may have cushioned his fall a bit, but he could tell that underneath it were hard stone bricks.

Gradually his vision improved and he was finally able to see without his eyes stinging so badly. Only then did he look up to see the one who was pulling the strings behind this scheme.

"You!?" The person he saw there was, ironically, the last person he expected to see. There stood Anti towering above him, glaring down at him like he was an inferior little ant. "W-Where am I? What is the meaning of this!?" He demanded.

"Poor little Marvin. You must be SO confused..."

There was no doubt about it; of course he was confused. He'd just been abducted by his advisor. What on earth was he supposed to think!?

The way Anti spoke to him... His voice was filled with an obviously feigned pity. Almost like he was mocking him with his fake empathy. However, just as quickly as it came, he tore away the facade and grinned mischievously instead. "Let's make this clear and simple, yes? I brought you here because your people will no longer have need of you..." Leading him on with a vague explanation, he turned his back to him and strolled slowly over to a large, arched window. His hands stayed folded behind him while he stared out to the land beyond this hellhole and Marvin could hear him chuckling under his breath.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You really need an explanation for everything, don't you?" He was dragging this out on purpose. He was toying with him...

"Don't play coy with me! It's not a joke! Explain yourself this instant!" There were so many emotions erupting from inside of him. He was frightened, angry, and so, so confused. And now, he was losing his patience. All he wanted was answers.

"My my, calm down your highness. It's not very proper for a prince to yell~" That stupid, patronizing tone in his voice... It was irritating and Marvin growled under his breath. "Allow me to make this easier for you to understand. Your people need a proper King to lead them. Someone with authority. Power. Ambition… Someone like me." He paused to turn to him with a glare in eyes and a grimace in his expression, like he was disgusted at the mere sight of him. "Not some child."

This struck a nerve within Marvin and he snapped back at him with pure disdain. "I am NO child...." He took great offense to that condescending comparison.

"Oh, that's right! You're all grown up, aren't you?~" Anti mocked him, speaking in a juvenile, high pitched voice - much like one would use when speaking to a small infant. He let out an exasperated chuckle before changing his demeanor in favor of an angrier one. "Is that why you never noticed any red flags? You are SO DENSE! You are so lost in your little royal world that you have never punished me no matter how many times I fucked up!"

Whatever hatred he had for Marvin had built up over so many years and this was finally his moment to unleash it all. And he did not hold back.

"Your staff caters to you, admit it! They baby you and hold your hand every day of your life because you STILL can't do on your own what you were literally BORN to do. You walk around like a lost puppy! You run away from your responsibilities, and make up excuses for everything!"

"Shut up…"

"It makes me wonder what your parents would think of you now. I'm sure they're looking down from the heavens, watching while you screw up everything that they ever worked for. It's like you have no regard for their legacy! All you do is cry and make everyone feel bad for you. That's how you manipulate them, isn't it? You just love to play the victim! Especially after what happened to poor mommy and daddy~" He exaggerated a frown, ridiculing him again while he wiped away imaginary tears with his fists.

"SHUT UP! Don't you dare talk about them that way! You don't get to talk about them-!"

"Even your own staff see something wrong with allowing a dark elf, of all creatures, to work so close to the prince! But you? You ignored them! You are so LOST in this 'boo-hoo' little fantasy of yours, you can't even take your own servants' concerns seriously!" Anti was really laying into him, hardly even taking a breath between each accusation. It was just blow after blow...

"I-I..." Marvin struggled to say anything. How was he supposed to respond to that? Was it all true...? He swallowed nervously before speaking up. "I never fired you because you worked under my father! He trusted you! I trusted you! I gave you every possible chance to redeem yourself!-"

"And you were a fool to do so." He interrupted, abruptly cutting off whatever defense the prince was clinging on to. But Anti wasn't done with him just yet and with a snicker, he continued chipping away at whatever he had left of his dignity. "Heh, aren't YOU the one who so badly wanted to protect your people? Tch... And you couldn't even do THAT right. Face it, your Highness, you are worth nothing to this kingdom and it's time you took responsibility for your actions."

Marvin stayed silent. He felt so empty, like his entire world had crumbled in the palm of his hands. Any form of confidence he worked so hard for had been sucked dry. Was he really that bad of a ruler? All this time, he thought he was getting better. He thought he was doing good for his people but now, it seemed like Anti just unraveled his entire world and it was filled with nothing but flaws. Was he really the bad guy in all this...?

"Now then, I'll tell you just what you're doing here. I've brought you to this old, decaying ruin. A tower, far from the comfort of your palace. It's a place where I deem no one would ever dare step foot… Here you will stay for the rest of your sorry existence."

His eyes shot open upon hearing that. "W-What? No! Are you insane!? You can't just leave me here!" His fear was starting to grow the more he realized just how serious Anti was.

Anti knelt down to his level, reaching out to firmly hold his chin, forcing him to look at him. "You're lucky that's ALL I'm doing. I'm showing you mercy. If I wasn't so kind, I would have you killed." With that, he let go and stood up straight. Then, he walked past Marvin towards the metal door in the back of the room to take his leave.

Tears quickly began flooding his eyes while he knelt there on the floor, defeatedly. He didn't want to stay in this place forever. Wait, why did he think he didn't have a choice? He was the prince for goodness sakes!

He forced himself up, finding his balance while he turned to the exit to face Anti. "I am not going to stay here. You cannot make me." He declared sternly, finally finding the courage to stick up for himself.

Oh, this was so amusing to Anti. He turned to him, stared for a moment in disbelief, then bursted out in a maniacal fit of laughter. "Is that really what you think? That you can just waltz on out of here-?"

The sudden outburst from Anti made him flinch and the two tears that were threatening to fall earlier made their way down his cheeks while he fought back, desperately. "I am leaving this wretched tower and you are taking me with you!"

Anti only continued to laugh at this. "Oh this is precious..." His cackles and chortles finally faded out and he mimicked wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "Nice try, your Highness, but you're not going to wriggle your way out of this one. Now I'm sorry to leave so soon but I have a kingdom to get back to~" He waved farewell to him as he pushed open the metal door to take his leave.

Marvin stood there helplessly, not knowing what to do. He was still in complete disbelief but he couldn't let this happen! No one was going to bail him out of this. Not JJ, not the guards... This was his fight. With that, he suddenly charged at Anti, grabbing hold of his arm in an attempt to pull him away from the door so he could make a run for it and get away from this madness.

His plan didn't get very far, however, before Anti, seemingly without effort, shoved him back. Marvin stumbled backwards on his feet but before he could regain his balance and try again, Anti lifted his knee and kicked him straight in the gut with the heel of his boot. Marvin stumbled back again before doubling over in pain. Wrapping his arms tightly around his torso, he fell to his knees once again while he coughed and gasped for air.

"Tch, pathetic." He looked down at him, watching him curl in on himself and weep pathetically on the floor. He almost felt bad for him. Almost, but not enough. "I have nothing left to say to you. It's no wonder you're so incompetent..." He seemed genuinely disappointed...

He looked up at him, shaking his head and pleading to him with the tears that now streamed down his face. He was praying that Anti would pity him enough to let him go or tell him that this was all some big joke. But that was unrealistic, wasn't it…?

"I am honored that you don't want me to leave, but I must bid you farewell now~" Again, he pushed open the door. "Goodbye, your Highness. May we never cross paths again." And with that, he turned his back and walked out.

However, before the door could close completely, Marvin had to make one final attempt to follow him. He quickly got to his feet, tripping over himself as he lunged forward to catch the door but he didn't make it time and the sound of heavy metal clashing rang throughout the little room, leaving Marvin to wail on the floor alone.

"No...! Anti, please! Don't leave me here! PLEASE!" He screamed and begged at the door, falling to his knees and banging desperately on the metal in the hopes that Anti would turn around and come back for him.

He wanted to wake up from this awful nightmare. He wanted it to all be a dream. Just another one of his little night terrors that he would have from time to time... He wanted to wake up in his bedroom and find Jamie comforting him at his side. He would give anything to see Chase come running in and fretting over him after a nightmare… But deep down, a voice was screaming at him to give up hoping, that there was no way out of this... Soon, it became all too real for him and all he could do was futilely weep until his voice was so hoarse and broken, he could no longer scream for help that would never come.

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Tags: @jack-and-sammy @fanaticallyperfect @geekyfox2 @cryptid-bwoid

#jacksepticeye #jse community #jse fanfiction #jse egos #marvin the magnificent #jameson jackson #antisepticeye #chase brody #my wriring #fanfiction #erseptyl au #fantasy au

14 notes · View notes

popatochisssp · 3 years

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Are any of the new guys ok with being child free? (I keep having to explain to my fam how I'm NOT EVER going to have kids) And I'd like some solidarity from fictional skeletons.

Broadly speaking, I think all of them would be okay with that! In general, all the boys’ idea of the future is uncertain and something they need to work out with their s/o, so that informs the perspective a lot.

I truly don’t think ‘no kids’ or ‘yes kids’ would be an explicit deal-breaker for any of them, but in terms of where their thoughts naturally fall about the topic:

Pre-discussion/negotiation, it’s probably a no: Sky (Underswap Sans), Paps (Underswap Papyrus), Mal (Swapfell Sans), Rus (Swapfell Papyrus), Ash (Undergloom Sans), Brick (Horrorfell Sans), Merc (Horrorswap Sans), Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans)

Genuinely neutral or undecided: Sans (Undertale), Pyre (Underfell Papyrus), Papy (Horrortale Papyrus), King (Horrorfell Papyrus), Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus), Sunny (Gastertale Sans), Aster (Gastertale Papyrus)

Pre-discussion/negotiation, it’s probably a yes: Papyrus (Undertale), Jasper (Underfell Sans), Slate (Horrortale Sans), Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus), Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus)

But like I said... they’re flexible, because your relationship and the future they want to have with you doesn’t work without... well, you!

If you’re a ‘definitely no kids’ person and you see your skeleton in the ‘yes’ category, that doesn’t mean you’re doomed-- it just means a couple conversations about it to convey your thoughts...and depending on the level of gungho for having kids he is (most aren’t married to it), maybe agreeing to a compromise where you adopt an animal or two and be dog/cat/iguana/whatever-the-hell parents.

Same goes for a ‘yes i want kids’ person who sees their skeleton of choice in the ‘no’ section, that’s just where they are before talking it all out with you. Some time and a few conversations to understand where everybody’s coming from and how to move forward, they’re willing to negotiate.

Kids or no kids, neither is a deal-breaker, it’s all fine and you can work it out together!

Y’know what, while I’m at it, here’s just the basic thought processes of all of them, just to give a little peek into their skulls on the matter...

Sans (Undertale): Kids are fun, doesn’t have any particularly strong desire to have one of his own, but he raised his kid brother for awhile and he knows it’s something he can do, if it’s what you want.

Papyrus (Undertale): Kids are great and he’d be a great parent, he just knows it! You’d be a great parent, too! ...But if that’s not what you want to do, then that’s okay. There’s plenty of other great things for you to do together in life!

Sky (Underswap Sans): Kids are wonderful, but raising his little brother solo after their dad disappeared... That was hard and he definitely wasn’t ready for the responsibility. It was a humbling experience and he refuses to commit to having kids of his own until he’s sure it’s something he sincerely, passionately wants.

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): Feels awkward around kids, as a rule, and also kind of thinks of himself as a (mostly contained, at least) disaster of a skeleton. Is he ready for the responsibility of being in charge of a brand new being’s growth and development??? Not sure! Not sure at all!

Jasper (Underfell Sans): He likes kids alright... thinks about maybe having some of his own someday, the idea of a family is nice, in his head... but he definitely isn’t sure about the reality. Worries about if he’d be a good enough parent, or if his kids (if he were to have them) would resent him or just not like him. It’s a nice idea, but nothing’s set in stone for him.

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): Honestly never thought about it. Part of him fully expected to die Underground in some battle or other, or excepting that, he wouldn’t find a partner who’d want to be with him long-term, much less long enough that he could make a family with them. He’s not...explicitly opposed to it, but he also hasn’t given it a lot of thought at all. He’ll need time to sort out his feelings, whatever his partner’s opinions on potential kids are.

Mal (Swapfell Sans): Terrified, petrified to have kids of his own. Being around them is...fine, but... He’s got a lot of issues tied up with his...parent... and having to be a pseudo-parent to his own brother at a very young age, it’s made him worry about repeating patterns and failing, hurting, damaging, or otherwise doing his own children a disservice, if he were to have them-- even as a grown and well-situated adult. If kids are something his partner really wants, they’ve got those insecurities to talk about with him for sure.

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): He’s actually really good with kids, he relates to them well and always just talks to them like people, so of course they love him. But having his own... That, he’s not sure about. He’s definitely a little bit of a disaster, and still working on a lot of Adult Life Skills, and the thought of being in charge of a whole entire brand new person is more than a little scary. Not sure if he’s ready for that step--or if he’ll ever be!

Slate (Horrortale Sans): Loves kids, and loves the idea of a big family. He’s had more than enough death, life is very appealing to him and a full house honestly sounds wonderful. ...But he does have some memory issues, a dash of narcolepsy, and some hard, dissociative days that make him worry he might not be a very good parent. He’d do his best to do right by his kids if he ends up having them, of course he would, but if that’s just not in the cards for him, that wouldn’t be the end of the world. He’s the one who’d definitely want to bring in some furbabies if two-legged babies aren’t on the table, and he’d still be a very, very happy man!

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): He likes kids, but doesn’t have many strong feelings on having his own. He’d be alright either way his partner wanted to go-- as long as the two of them are together and safe and happy, he’s got everything he needs.

Ash (Undergloom Sans): Kids are fun, but honestly...oof. He’s got a chronic fatigue thing going on and keeping up with a kid for more than an hour or two at a time... he’s not sure he could hack it. Maybe he could, but that’s really something to think about before just diving in, y’know?

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): Very good with children! They’re so curious and bright and he loves that about them! He’s got a lot of nurturing, caretaker tendencies built right into his personality, so he’s a natural at looking after and corralling them. He’s easily flustered and moves slow in his romantic relationships, though, so there’s a long timeline before the ‘should we have kids’ talk is even on the table, plenty of chances to share thoughts and work out a gameplan, whether that’s yea or nay. If yea, wonderful! If nay, he’d probably be just as happy babysitting friends’ kids and being Cool Uncle Papyrus as having any of his own.

Brick (Horrorfell Sans): It’s... a nice thought. But he definitely doesn’t trust himself enough to feel totally comfortable having kids of his own. He barely trusts himself in Polite Society some days, and he’d just be too worried about not being in control and hurting or scaring a little one, especially a little one of his own. He doesn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive himself if he made his own kid afraid of him. Plus memory issues, nightmares, (depending on his fluency at the time) a language barrier... So ‘no kids’ is...probably preferable, but if it’s something you really want... maybe start with an animal or two first? The ol’ practice-baby pet, see how it goes kinda deal, and move forward from there.

King (Horrorfell Papyrus): Like his counterpart, never really thought about it much...but when he does, he decides he could go either way on it. If you’re not interested in kids, fine, that’s more time for just the two of you. If you are, well... he was literally a monarch that ruled over all of monsterkind, for a time--surely, he could manage to be a passingly decent parent, with you as his partner in the endeavor. He’ll take his cues from you as to whether it’s a yes or a no.

Merc (Horrorswap Sans): His feelings haven’t really changed from pre-Famine. In fact, he’s probably more hesitant now, after so viscerally confronting the consequences of his own hasty decisions and having to face his own fallibility the way he did. The thought of being responsible for a whole small life is very nerve-wracking--especially if said proposed life is to be biologically his, because he really doesn’t know what the DT in his system (pre or post-integration) will pass on to theoretical next-of-kin, if anything at all. Maybe not a ‘never,’ but not a vigorous, enthusiastic ‘yes’ either, lots to think about...and maybe tests to run...

Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): A couple years ago, he’d have been a little more in the ‘no’ camp, but now... He’s been through a lot. He’s struggling sometimes still, at least emotionally, but he made it, so y’know... maybe he’s capable of handling more than he thought he was. Still not a solid ‘yes’--he’s aware of his lack of filter and its tendency to cause hurt feelings, and he does like his peace and quiet, which kids are very much not conducive to, as a rule, so he’d have to put in some work and make some sacrifices-- but he’s no longer wholly a ‘no’ either. Depending on your own thoughts, there’s plenty of room to negotiate.

Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): Kids are fine, he can handle them well enough, and even the thought of having his own doesn’t stress him out so much as it once did--he’s changed a lot, and been through a lot, taking a second crack at parenthood from a new perspective wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world--but he’s also not particularly interested in it. He likes his leisure time and his luxuries, and much as he’s sure he could find room in that to accommodate a child...he doesn’t see much of a reason to. He could be convinced, if it’s something that you really want, but he’d also stay childfree without a second thought to the matter.

Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): Good with kids, like his counterpart, but also a little more capable and confident in himself and his ability to get things done. So... having a kid might be a little intimidating for him, but he generally feels like he could probably figure it out... and a kid might be a nice outlet for some of his caretaking urges, and extra motivation to keep fighting his phobia, to make sure their childhood is good and doesn’t suffer from them having a dad who’s scared to go outside. He definitely likes the idea of someone to look after and to be better for, but if that’s not for you, he wouldn’t force the issue. Would maybe want a furbaby though, instead, probably special needs that not everybody could/would be able to take care of (like Dizzy!) to fill that niche.

Sunny (Gastertale Sans): Kids are really cool and fun to hang out with--crazy little people, no filter, just running around, saying things, living life--they’re awesome, but he’s not totally sold on the idea of having his own. He does a lot of aimless life-living himself, and he feels like maybe that’s not the best thing for a kid. He doesn’t really have a career, he does things without a lot of planning, he goes places spontaneously, and... maybe that’s fun and exciting for a kid to be raised around, or maybe it’s unstable and harmful. He’s not really sure which and he probably doesn’t want to bring a kid into the mix until he knows. With a partner who’s a ‘yes’ on children and can help him co-parent and all that, sure, he’d probably be willing to give it a go. With one who’s a ‘no,’ that’s fine too, it’s a nonissue!

Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): A little weird and stiff around kids, never totally sure how he’s supposed to talk to them or what he’s meant to say (especially when it comes to those things you’re supposed to lie to kids about, he’s very bad at that!!!), but he has nothing against children in general. As far as the idea of having his own... Well, if his partner wants to have kids, it wouldn’t be a no-- he’d just have to do a lot of research on the subject first, to feel more comfortable and to hopefully prepare, mentally, as much as one can ever prepare for this. After that, he’d be open to discuss and negotiate the matter with his partner from there, to sort out the logistics. With a partner who doesn’t want kids, though, he’d almost certainly never even bring it up on his own and honestly probably thinks of ‘childfree’ as the expected default rather than something quirky, nontraditional, or a deal-breaker.

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actual-fucking-clown · 3 years

Text

Take your time then.

Aizawa x gender neutral reader

Story under the cut :)

Unedited but like edited but still not properly edited :)

Hope you enjoy!!!

a/n: it’s been a hot min since I’ve written a fic. I think the last time i was 14 and it was shit and on wattpad. Ha. I hate myself. N e way, I was recently writing some shit for an au me and my friend thought up and in the back of my mind I was like, “you should start writing fics again bc this is kinda fun”, soo lo and behold I made a post asking if anyone would be interested, shared a little too much personal shit in it but whatever, and have now decided to write this mother fucker. (3/25/21)

a/n: not sure if anyone will care about this series of a/n’s but I’m just chronicling thoughts ig. rewriting rn bc my first draft was short and ass. Also I’m thinking about opening requests after this is posted, will go into detail in a diff post maybe. (3/28/21)

a/n: deleted everything, rewriting. I just want to make something that might be decent and if I can give that feeling, y’know those chills you get when you read something utterly gorgeous, but I’m bad at writing. sadge (3/28/21, like several hours later)

a/n: ugh (4/1/21)

a/n: ugh pt 2 electric boogaloo. I can’t seem to move forward with the writing. I realized something like this might happen bc to solve a problem feelings need to be discussed and I fucking hate doing that so you can see where I’m fucking up lmaooooo (4/2/21)

a/n: I read angst to fuel my writing brain. So, read some angst, finally writing agian. This first section is probs as long as the story itself LMFAO(4/5/21)

Started: (3/25/21) Finished: (4/5/21)

Warnings: uh angst, curse words, like a lot, (i saw someone else put this as a warning, do I actually need it?), avoiding problems instead of actually facing them, mentions of shit so-so parenting, mentions of not being able to live up to high expectations, y’know, the works

Synopsis: Aizawa takes in Eri without running it by you first and expects you to be okay with it. That’s funny. He was wrong.

Can I preface this with a thought? I’m going to anyway,

all the fics I read paint him as the sweetest partner and I’m sure he is but I think they miss out on how blunt he is and his whole “Mr. Rationality” thing. So as much as I adore him I think there are situations that he’d be a bit more colder towards, a bit more straightforward about. Maybe even like a bit insensitive about but maybe bc he doesn’t have the full picture or something. so I guess this is another warning but aizawa is a little insensitive in the beginning (but like not really but kinda. it’s complicated)

Rain pattered softly against the window. The smell of some old random Bath and Bodyworks candle you’d dug out from a box you’d never bothered to unpack smothered the room. Some Netflix show idly played on a low volume on your computer, you’d lost interest in watching tv awhile ago. You needed a break. After the eventful month you’d been having you really needed this.

Now of course your whole year so far had been eventful. What with all the villain attacks on you and Shouta’s class and the kidnapping of one of your students, to just dealing with the more mundane problems with your students. No. You had no problem with that. The villains, although not easy, were something you were trained to handle. The smaller problems with your students weren’t arduous either, after all you weren’t too much older than them.

When reflecting on your situation, from and outside perspective it could be seen as the straw the broke the camels back, which sure, makes sense. After all, you’re bound to be stressed out by everything else, so why would this seemingly insignificant thing weigh heavier than a villain attack? Well if that is the situation why does this single straw feel like it weighs a ton? This is not that. This is not culmination of the events of this year draining the life from you. This is something entirely different. A panic inducing life change that completely took you by surprise mixed with your inability to actually face your problems.

You don’t blame them. You can’t. They’ve done nothing wrong. A child. A small, probably mentally scarred child is your problem. Well not her personally but the fear taking care of her instills in you. Despite working in the field that you do, you cannot for the life of you handle actual children. Sure you’re a little awkward with your class but at least they’re young adults and (vaguely) mature and independent to a certain extent. The fact that your long term boyfriend just came back one day, small child in tow and said “Hey I’ve gotta look after this one now” not verbatim obviously, for a lack of better words, fucked you up. He basically solo adopted a kid and, let’s be honest, he probably expected you to help out. But how could you? How could this man look at you and think “I want this person to help me raise an already fucked up child?” Ok sure, he doesn’t at first give off the “I’m totally father figure material” vibe but in the end he is extremely competent. You on the other hand, not so much.

You’d never been good with children. Tried your best to steer clear of them. Didn’t matter the place, didn’t matter who’s kid, you couldn’t handle them. You would just stand there, awkwardly, not entirely sure of what to do and petrified that there was the possibility of making some mistake which would upset the child and then oh wow look, your head got chopped right of your shoulders. That’s hyperbole of course but it does sum up the insurmountable fear that overcomes you whenever you have to deal with a child. So considering the fact that your long term boyfriend had suddenly decided to adopt and not at least warn you, didn’t sit right with you.

So, the best and most obvious choice, was to avoid your problem. Avoid Shouta, avoid Eri. Avoid the mention of them and you, avoid it all. And honestly you’d done pretty well so far. You were able to have as little contact with them as possible considering the close proximity of your living quarters in the teacher’s dorms. After all they were legally supposed to give you two separate rooms but you never actually used yours, well until now. You were living it up honestly. Did you feel awful? Of course. He is your boyfriend after all and you were sure Eri doesn’t deserve your cold shoulder but this is probably for the best. What could you offer her? You weren’t sure that you were a good role model for her or anyone for that matter. What did you know about raising kids? it’s not like you had parents to set a proper example for you. Of course they might have shown you what not to do but where do you go from there? Is shit like that really avoidable? You don’t want to be like them. You strive to be better but what if you can’t be. There’s also the added bonus of the fact that raising a kid seems taxing on a relationship. Now matter how strong you were sure that the stress of a kid could break a relationship down that then festers into something toxic and unrecognizable. You didn’t want that. God you couldn’t let that happen. No. This was definitely for the better.

Of course Aizawa didn’t feel the same. He was confused on why his partner had been so blatantly avoiding him. Did he do something wrong? He doesn’t remember doing anything that might’ve upset you. So why now? Why pull away now? He had to get down to the bottom of this but catching you was the hard part. You had been taking on more work, offering more assistance to the other teachers, picking up extra patrols, doing everything and anything to stay away from Shouta. It took him a month but he finally caught up to you. You were tired, worn out he knew that. Instead of loading yourself with work you’d decided to hole yourself up in your room. It was now or never.

You were pulled out of your peace at the sound of a few gentle knocks to your door. You really didn’t want to get it. You honestly couldn’t be bothered.

“(N/n)? Are you in there?” He hadn’t gotten it wrong right? He hadn’t been too distracted earlier and missed you leaving right?

“What’s up?” You hummed from your place by the window, not bothering to actually open the door.

“Can I come in?” Shouta asked, voice soft. You could barely hear him above the patter of the rain and the low humming of your laptop.

“Uh, no, kinda busy. Got loads of work to do. Need to focus, sorry. Maybe later?” You hesitantly spoke. Not sure if you were convincing enough.

Apparently you weren’t.

He sighed. “It’s been “later” for an entire month. Please (Y/n) just let me in. Whatever this is we can talk it out.” You had predicted that eventually Shouta would start to try to crack down on whatever the issue was but you didn’t expect it so soon.

“Uh...no?” You tried, hoping that maybe he’d just give up but that wasn’t Shouta.

“No, you don’t get that option, now please, open the door.” Although it was still soft his voice had taken a more stern tone.

“Oh no I’m dead. I guess I can’t open the door. What a shame. I guess the only way to talk with me now is in the pits of hell.” You quipped, trying to lessen the tension that already ran thick.

“(Y/n).” Aizawa sighed.

“Jeez fine. Talk about pushy.” You quipped once more to no avail.

Opening the door you were met with, well exactly what you expected. He stood there, arms crossed, a stern yet gentle look in his eyes, his lips pulled into a slight frown.

“Come in.” You mumbled as you stepped further into your room.

“So tell me. What’s wrong?” The sentence stirred so much. Of course you wanted to tell him. You wanted to spill your guts to the man you loved in hopes of comfort but you just can’t. You know you’ll just scare him off. You know you’ll make things worse.

So you stay silent.

He says nothing as he grabs your hands gently and leads you over to your bed. He sits the two of you down on the edge, muting the movie on the laptop sitting behind him.

“You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you right?” Shouta sent you a warm smile.

You weren’t very comfortable with discussing your feelings sometimes, it mostly stemmed from the fact that you never really could discuss them with anyone growing up which made it harder to confide in anyone now, as at this point bottling things up was a habit. But this was also just something that you were sure that you couldn’t talk about.

Silence answered him once again.

Now he took sometime to think about his approach, think about what could’ve happened that made you pull away. What did he do that was different from his norm? He was genuinely stumped and the fact that you weren’t helping him confused him even more.

You decided to take this time to lament the situation too. What was he going to do? Should you actually tell him or play it off? If you play it off will he still insist that something is wrong? If you tell him will he leave you? If you don’t tell him will he leave you? You risked a glance at him, he was still deep in thought.

Why did you have to adopt this fucking kid without at least warning me?

“What?” Your head shot up at the sound of his shocked voice.

“What?” You asked, genuinely confused.

“Eri’s the problem...?” He spoke slowly, not entirely sure if he’d heard you right.

“Did I say that out loud?” You squeaked.

“I’m pretty sure you mumbled something along the lines of “why’d you have to adopt that fucking kid”.” Shouta said, unsure if he’d heard wrong. Wanting to have heard wrong.

“No no no no no no! It’s not like that! I mean it is like that but not like that!” You frantically waved your hands in hopes of defusing the situation.

The way he looked at you made you want to cry. You felt horrible. You felt like the biggest asshole in the world and, at this point you probably were. He looked at you with such a look of heartbreak and disappointment and confusion it made you sick to your stomach. You felt light-headed and started shaking. You were right. You were right. You were always right. God why did you have to be right! Why did you have to be like this? Scared of raising a fucking child! It was asinine and irrational and you could probably move past it but thanks to your stupid fucking brain you just sealed your fate.

You scooted away from him still waving your hands frantically as no’s tumbled endlessly from your lips. You tried sputtering an apology, anything so that he wouldn’t look at you like that but nothing stuck. Nothing was comprehensible. Nothing worked. Nothing would work. Nothing will work. You were hopeless. It was hopeless.

“If it isn’t like how it seems then tell it to me straight.” Shouta finally spoke up.

You took a second to come down from your panic. You steeled your nerves as much as possible before you spoke.

“Um well, I have nothing against her it’s just that a little heads up would’ve been nice? I’m not all that great with kids so this is just kind of weird is all.” You were purposefully being vague in hopes that he’d understand what you meant and also maybe drop it.

“Not great with kids? You’re literally a teacher.” He pointed out.

“Yeah you know but she’s like a kid kid and let’s be honest I’m not too great with the students either.” You awkward laughed. So he wasn’t getting it.

“Wha-you’re fine with the students and I’m sure you’ll be fine with Eri, there was no reason to avoid me over this.” Shouta sighed. As good as he was with dealing with people, he was equally as shit. Or maybe it was just the fact that you gave him very little to work with. It was probably a bit of both. Still his dismissiveness was not helping you right now.

“No, no, no, no. I think I’ll stay here. Uh, good luck with your parenthood escapades and sorry to leave you high and dry like this but that’s going to have to be a no from me.” You rambled. He seemed to be getting a little tired of this.

“(Y/n) stop being irrational. She’s not even our kid I’m just looking after her for now. Why are you being difficult? I told you you were fine with the students and you’ll be fine with Eri, what else do you want to hear?” Shouta grumbled.

“Well uh I don’t know, uh...” You trailed off, this seemed to be going in a direction you really didn’t want it to go. A slight hostility settling in the air.

At your lack of a proper answer he clicked his tongue. He took a moment to reassess the situation. There had to be something he was missing. After all you were getting really worked up but if you weren’t going to talk to him there was nothing he could do. He shook his head before running a frustrated hand through his hair.

“(Y/n), please, please, just be honest with me. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, you can tell me. But I won’t be able to understand if you don’t.” Aizawa sighed, deciding that getting worked up about this was not the way to go, especially when you seemed to be especially distraught.

“Uh, god the thing is I don’t know entirely what to say to put the shitshow in my head into perspective.” You mumbled, trying desperately to figure out what to say that could clear the air but nothing seemed to be coherent enough.

“Take your time.” He decided that this was the best approach to things, making sure neither party got too worked up lest this turn into a fight.

The rain continued to patter softly against the window and your candle continued to burn an slightly off floral-ish scent. A deafening silence hung in the air because even though he was being as patient as possible some of his frustration leaked through, it was bound to though so you couldn’t exactly blame him. After all, you were probably equally as frustrated with yourself too.

“I’m just not good in a position like this. I’m not good with kids, especially someone like Eri who’s already so broken. You have that nurturing nature, it comes natural to you but I’m not on that level. I don’t know the first thing about caring for a child let alone one as already traumatized as her. I’d fuck it up and only make things worse. I don’t want you to reassure me that I’ll be okay with her, I want you to understand that I’m not comfortable with this and that it might take me awhile to come around. I’m sure I sound like the biggest asshole ever but please understand that this just isn’t something I’m ready for.” You had rambled a bit, you were aware of that, but it was the only way that you could properly express your feelings without making things too complicated.

Aizawa said nothing. Trying to figure out how to go about things.

Was he upset? Yeah, you two, even after several long years of being together, hadn’t discussed moving forward in your relationship in depth. And if he’d tried you seemed content with the point you two were at so he left it be, no reason to try and move forward when what you had was already fine the way it was. But recently he’d been craving more. Some mornings, when he’d be the first to wake, he’d study your features in the soft light of the sunrise and wonder what it’d be like to properly settle down with you. Get married, start a family, all that jazz. He’d taken in Eri only because it was the most rational decision. His quirk would be good for quelling hers had it ever gotten out of hand. But it also seemed to quell his musings of something more with you. He had imagined you being a good parental figure for the little girl and it made his heart flutter and his stomach explode with butterflies. But now seeing that that wasn’t what you wanted and how you weren’t ready for it, it stung. But in the end, he loved you. He’d easily give his life for you. So, if that meant waiting he’d wait. He’d wait a million years if he had to. He could do it.

Once again he spoke,

“Take your time then. I can wait.”

Tagslist?: @captainchrisstan (I think you said you wanted to be tagged but I’m also just small brained lol If u didn’t want to and I misinterpreted things just let me know :) )

#bnha x reader #mha xreader #aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta #aizawa #my first fic #mha #bnha

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janeaudron · 2 years

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Update: Electric Boogaloo 2 - Health and Other Updates

Sorry silly title, but need to cheer myself up. Putting a “read more” since this may be long.

For those concerned only about dice, just highlight “ Dice Time ” (minus quotes) and you should be in that section.

Also for the tl;dr folks - Health really sucks right now and is disabling me from living/doing just about everything.

So it’s been a rough for months to year(s) for me. I’m doing better from getting really sick a few months ago and then the sudden kidney infections a few weeks after getting better. But my main health issue right now is everything related to my back and the muscles associated with and around it. Kinda feel like it’s getting worse but that may be me letting it get to me...

I usually try not to bring up my health issues too much but this one is affecting just about everything I’m doing to a great degree and it’s been driving me nuts. Why I just have long breaks of inactivity now. Also family issues(MORE HEALTH) but I want to keep that private.

Don’t know what is wrong but something constantly has my left side tight and also sometimes my hips and rib cage get tight. Right around my left shoulder blade down to my mid back/lower ribcabe is constantly hurting, but mostly feels sore. So with this constant pain it makes it just about impossible for me to do things for short or long periods of time. Also it makes sleeping a pain. It’s just a pain that eats at you mentally and physically.

Oh added bonus, whatever is wrecking my back also wrecks my digestive track! I am just a ball of health issues right now.

I’m glad my job has been understanding and has allowed me to reduce my hours, but I feel like I’m still struggling to meet the reduced hours with how bad some days can get where I just can’t operate.

This pain is also holding me back from doing any art as I just can’t sit or stand comfortably to work for a few hours. It’s been disheartening to say the least. Depressing really as I’ve got a folder of wips I want to finish and my board game idea is just staring at me. Done more writing/mechanics progress to a point with that but no true art due to pain killing all motivation.

Which is extra annoying since I thought I was going to finally have time to get my Ko-Fi/Patreon going for the board game development and other stuff. But if I can’t produce art and other content at a decent pace, I don’t feel comfortable having those up. Just finished finalizing all the details and tiers too. >:(

Currently working with my doctors to try and figure out what is going on, but no luck so far. Back adjustments help but are so temporary it’s frustrating. I’m doing all sorts of stretches and especially try not to undo the adjustments but they barely last a week before the pain is back and occasionally it’s worse. Also trying to adjust how I currently work and that’s had little to mild results. May try to get a split keyboard sometime in the future.

-------------

Fan Blog

Yeah chapter updates and other content will be on hold for awhile. Have mild bouts were I can do some writing but still not a lot of writing.

I may have a few solo fics I may be posting soon-ish.

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Dice Time - Rather short update here.

So dice production stopped when I got really sick a few months ago, but it’s back up and running. Though running slow when you take in account of all the info above about my health. For the tl;dr folks - Health really sucks and is disabling me from living/doing stuff.

Have some unfinished sets(matte and shiny) that I need to sand to a finished state but that’s going to take awhile.

If y’all don’t mind me posting raws for sale for some time just let me know.

Also have a bunch of unfinished misfits(fine just no full sets) and then mishaps/flawed dice that I need to figure out how I want to sell. Thinking of doing it mystery box or bag style for those.

And have to remake a few molds when I can get some more silicone(it will be awhile with everything going on.) Had some numbers tear and then some surfaces got a bit weird. Don’t know what happened to cause some weird surface textures. Funs of moldmaking.

#update #store update #when you have dreams of scifi tech healing you it just gets depressing #delete eventually

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deejadabbles · 3 years

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A Thousand Songs (Atem/Yami x Reader)

Chapter One: We Are Broken

One /// Two /// Three /// Four /// [Five Coming Soon]

Summary: You knew that you and your band could make it big. Not only that, but stay together while doing it; the five of you were family, after all. The only problem was that despite all your musical talents...none of you were particularly good at lyrics. After years of struggling to put out your first full album, the solution finally made himself know in chance meeting on an empty stage.

Rock Band AU, Atem x Reader, gender neutral reader.

A.N. Woo look at me, starting a new series before I finish my current ones. Don't hate me I have the attention span of a squirrel! I know band AUs are pretty cheesy but I don't care, this idea has been floating in my head for awhile and it's super cute okay?? I was also going to wait to post this until all the chapters were done but I couldn't control myself anymore. These chapters will be much shorter than my usual length so hopefully that means I can update faster??? I won't make any promises but I'll try. Anywho, I hope you guys like fashionable, sensitive Atem because that's who'll be featured in this fic <3 The reader's gender is never mentioned but I will admit I tended to lean more towards songs sung by women in this, I don't really think that matters though (I have Atem sing songs originally sung by women so...). I really hope you guys like this series and I'll love to hear your thoughts <3 Also: @ohyema This is the series I told you about all that time ago lol

I am outside

And I've been waiting for the sun

With my wide eyes

I've seen worlds that don't belong

My mouth is dry

With words I cannot verbalize

Tell me why

We live like this

The crowd was small, as always, but it was enough. Anyone hearing your songs was enough for now, or so you told yourself week after week. You felt Yugi’s eyes on you as you leaned away from the mic, plucking the cords of your Stratocaster for the brief solo and you looked to your left to see him smiling at you; always the positive optimist, the sun that shone on you and the rest of the band.

You flashed him the briefest smile in return before turning back to the mic. If you closed your eyes, got lost in Anzu’s keys, Jou’s steady beats, and Honda’s strings, you could almost pretend you were playing in front of a packed venue. One full of fans solely there to hear music, and not just a dozen or so patrons who enjoyed the music as a backdrop to their late-night drinks.

Keep me safe inside

Your arms like towers

Tower over me

You could have sworn you heard another voice in the crowd join yours as the chorus came. Ah, so there was an actual fan in the crowd.

Cause we are broken

What must we do to restore

Our innocence

And all the promise we adored?

Give us life again

Cause we just wanna be whole

Your eyes fluttered back open for the briefest second and through the smoky haze in the room, you saw that someone at the bar was holding up their phone, camera aimed at the stage. That managed to make you smile, at least you had someone’s attention.

Lock the doors

Cause I'd like to capture this voice

It came to me tonight

So everyone will have a choice

And under red lights

I'll show myself it wasn't forged

We're at war

We live like this

“Are you guys on SoundCloud or anything? Cos that was pretty awesome!” asked a young man who looked barely old enough to be in the bar at all.

You were just helping Yugi pack away his turntables, having finished your set and wishing the small crowd a good night. The young man was with two others, all of them looking enthused as they stood at the base of the small stage. The girl even giggled when Honda winked at her.

Yugi, as usual, was the one to speak up and pulled out a small leather folder from his back pocket. “Yeah, we are actually! We also have a youtube channel,” he pulled cards from the folder, black cardstock with your band’s name, logo, and media accounts scrawled across it in gold text. He handed one to each in the trio, smile still bright on his face, “Check us out if you get the chance, we’re trying to put out a new album this summer, so we should have plenty of new songs to listen to soon.”

With a few ‘cool man’s and ‘awesome’s, the trio wandered back to the bar, the one who had spoken already pulling out his phone with the card in hand, and the girl waving at Honda over her shoulder.

“You know you shouldn’t get their hopes up,” Anzu whispered as she set her keyboard case at the foot of the stage, “Two songs does not an Album make- we have no clue when we’ll actually have it out!”

“Well,” you chimed in, clicking one of Yugi’s several cases closed, “Maybe telling new fans to expect more from us will finally light a fire under our song-writing-asses.” When Jonouchi opened his mouth, that cheeky look on his face, you held up your hand to silence him, “And yes, I know I procrastinate too much, I’m to blame too.”

Yugi lifted two of his cases- and answered after Jou jumped in to take the heavier of the two, “I still think all of us should take a week's vacation, lock ourselves in our studio and work on the album together. Only getting together a few times a week is what’s really killing us I think- we can’t get into a creative groove!”

You and Anzu exchanged a look, knowing full well that neither of your bills would appreciate the week's loss in pay. Still, maybe it was something that you guys could find a way to work out. Then again, there was another idea that had been brewing in the back of your mind for a while now, and you weren’t sure if it was really something that the others in your band would go for...like, at all.

“I don’t know, a week probably wouldn’t even be long enough,” Honda chimed in after slinging his guitar case over his shoulder, grabbing an amp in the free hand.

Jou nodded as you all started filing out the bar’s back door, “I’m still thinking that gettin’ together every single night until the album’s done is the best way to go, even if it’s just for a few hours!”

This was the usual road the song writing debate took, or at least, how it usually went the past month or so, and soon enough the topic came to a standstill, as it usually did.

After loading up Jonouchi’s truck with your equipment, Honda gave the suggestion of stopping for some burgers at the 24 hour joint down the road, a common ritual after your monthly gig at “The Bandit’s Den”. As usual, Jou parked in the space best visible from the front windows of the dinner, and the five of you were glad to find that not another soul sat at the tables.

After settling at your usual booth and ordering, Yugi actually splayed his hands out on the table, looking rather determined. “You don’t start work until seven tomorrow. Right?” he asked you.

“Yeah?”

“I think we should take another trip to the station.”

You actually had to repress a sigh at that. Yugi was all about trying to trigger inspiration for songs, and the “station” referred to an old train station on the outskirts of town. You guys had discovered it long ago and were eager to use it in a music video, but were waiting for the perfect song to go with it. Sure, the old giant clock and brick stairs were a perfect setting, but it had only sparked a line or two of lyrics, nothing to make a full song.

Out of the five of you, most of the lyric writing fell on your’s and Yugi’s shoulders, with Anzu, Honda, and Jonouchi giving occasional input. Since you were the lead singer most seemed to think you would be the natural lyric maker, but the truth was that, despite your talent in singing and playing the lead guitar, lyrics just weren’t your forte. You’d had some luck when teaming up with Yugi, his emotional maturity helping you work through the written expressions, but that only went so far. Yugi also tried things like this, exercises and field trips in the hopes that it would spark creativity.

“How many times have we been to the station before, Yugi?” you asked, “I just don’t think it’s the oracle of inspiration we all hoped it would be. I still want to film there some time, but I don’t wanna take time out to visit it again, I’ll just get annoyed when it doesn’t lead to anything.”

Yugi’s set expression seemed to blink away, replaced with something almost like guilt, “Okay, I was just trying to think of something to get our inspiration flowing…”

Now you’re the one who felt guilty. “I know...hey maybe we could try something new? Like we could go some other place or try some different way to spark our heads?” you suggested, trying to sound positive.

Yugi’s eyebrows lifted in interest, but he was cautious when he asked, “Like what?”

“I…” you trailed off when your mind came up blank. It remained blank even as your eyes trailed over the entirety of the empty dinner as well as the dark scenery outside. A growl of frustration left your throat as you face planted on the table, “I don’t know!”

You heard Yugi giggle as he reached out and patted your head. Beside him, Jonouchi said, “What you need is some brain food! That’s sure to help some ideas come- ah! And here’s our feast now!”

Even though the food was good, kick-start your brain, it did not. If anything the meal just made you more sleepy, even as you guys chatted over the next hour before paying the tab and piling back into Jou’s truck.

Like always the next stop was the studio, the home and hideaway for you and your friends. For a small-time band whose biggest fame was on Youtube, all of you were actually quite proud of your studio. Yugi’s grandfather owned a few rental properties, and since the building wasn’t fitting for a residential space, nor in a part of town that would serve a shop well, he had agreed to give you guys the small building in exchange for help around his game shop every week.

Working together to make the space your own was some of the best memories you had with your oldest friends; going to second-hand shops to gather fitting set pieces, saving up for the sound dampeners so you could record your songs without paying a big-time studio, setting up the back room with tattered old furniture and a mini-fridge that was sure to break down any day.

The only thing that beat those days were the times you actually spent in the studio; rehearsing, recording your few music videos, spending downtime together writing new music on lumpy bean bag chairs and worn rugs (and definitely getting distracted by each other every ten minutes).

The night was late enough that no one bothered the five of you as you unloaded the truck, and soon enough all of you were taking your usual spots in the back room (Anzu sprawling out on the battered chaise, Jonouchi and Yugi filling up the loveseat, Honda falling onto a pair of beanbags, and you plopping down in the hammock chair).

“Alright you guys, I’m just going to come out and say it,” Anzu sighed after a few moments of hanging off the arm of her seat, “We need help writing our songs.”

You actually sat up as straight as you could in your chair and peered over at her- had she really just said what you had been thinking of saying for weeks?!

When she saw your look, something like panic colored her face as she waved her hands, “Not that I don’t think you’re a good writer! The songs you came up with were awesome! ...But-”

You waved off her concern, the hard motion causing your hammock to spin a little, “No- no, Anzu, I totally agree! I just didn’t know if I should bring it up...”

Even if you hadn’t thought of it too, Anzu had plenty of reason to think you needed help. In the whole four years since your group had started the band, from the first days sitting in class drawing up logo ideas, you had only written six original songs- and that included the two that were meant to go on your new album. You had gotten by with relying on covers to fill out your live sets and media accounts and making a host of excuses for the lack of originality.

“You really think bringing in another bandmate’s a good idea?” Honda chimed in, eyes narrow as he leaned back in his beanbag chair.

“Yeah, we don’t wanna end up like half the other bands out there,” Jonouchi chimed in, seeming to subconsciously pull Yugi closer to his side, “you guys know the only reason our band works is because we get each other- we’re family! We can’t just bring another person into that, it’ll ruin it and maybe even break us up!”

Yugi put a hand over Jonouchi’s, “Hey hey, slow down, don’t you think we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves? First of all, bands hire ghostwriters all the time, and they don’t always join the band. Besides... I don’t know, if the person’s really cool, would it be that bad to have another member?”

“We could always have them ghostwrite for us for a while, and if we like them, then talk about letting them join,” you offered, and were glad when everyone seemed to contemplate that with at least some positivity. “But that brings up the issue I think we’ll have, I’m not sure we can find someone who fits with our style all that easily. Like Jonouchi said, there’s a reason all of us work well together.”

It was true, all of you brought something to the table, something more than an instrument. The five of you had slightly different tastes, all of it coming together in something that wasn’t quite punk, not quite rock, not quite pop or even metal, and that’s what worked to your advantage. You wanted to prove that different sounds and styles could come together in harmony and appeal to listeners all across the spectrum. Not fit into a genre-labeled box that only fans of said genre would even bother listening to.

Eventually, Anzu gave a shrug, “We won’t know until we try. Why don’t we put the word out and see what happens?”

“We can still work on our own, and if we don’t find anyone who fits, we didn’t really lose anything besides time,” Yugi added, and that pretty much settled the matter.

Tomorrow the search for a new member of your team began.

#atem x reader #yami x reader #yugioh #yugioh x reader #Atem #yami yugi #series: a thousand songs #band AU #Yugioh Band AU #violinist atem

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saintsofvoid · 3 years

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If you could have written Kerry in 2077, how would you have done it? Characterization, quests, whatever you're willing to share. 👀💘

Okay so wanna say first I do enjoy Kerry’s quests, I just wish they were longer that’s my main gripe with things overall. I am willing to accept what they’ve done, I just want more of him because well its him. I’m also no game dev or writer, I write fics and come up with OCs, we make game campaigns based on what exists already. I can’t say I understand or know why certain things get put in and other things get cut so there’s that.

My biggest issue is the giant gap in Kerry’s timeline, went from 2023, Memphis concert in the 40s, to 2077. Some huge ass breaks in his timeline with no real reason why, and I can’t use things from the table top because 2077 doesn’t follow that timeline either. Samurai broke up in 2007, Kerry had a quite successful solo career from the get go, and in 2077 seems like none of that happened until much later on. He was writing Second Conflict with Johnny in the table top so it seems weird that its put out as this new album when he was talking about it back in 2013. I dunno its a whole thing.

What I would have done differently is much of what I already said in the previous post. My main thing is I don’t like how from get go he still seems 100% hung up on and obsessed with his image to Johnny’s. Like I understand from the outside looking in, tabloids and what not making that comparison to rip into him, but that’s not Kerry. Its not him. Without a doubt I wouldn’t put it past Ker to want to do one last gig, so all that could stay the same, but I feel like they could have done a much better job explaining where Kerry was mentally. Because when you read into it you see its not just about Johnny, that’s the surface, but it happens so quick its easy to miss when you’re caught in the stare with those blue eyes. This also in hand goes for River where they kinda got screwed out being able to naturally develop. The sauce is there, but its being eaten too quick, where as Panam and Judy have the main story quests to break things down and have things develop more naturally.

Quest wise I would have thrown another 1 or 2 quests in around the end. Maybe 1 more before the rooftop at Dark Matter, and another before Boat Drinks. They don’t have to be long quests, but something to allow more discussion, allow those feelings to kinda come in and show that there’s something more there. Because up to the rooftop scene Kerry is a flirt in some aspects, but that’s also just who he is, the romance gets packed on heavy and he’s confessing a lot really quick when its like a day ago V was just a wingman to arson and gunpoint demands. To me at least that’s a massive flip of what the hell, from both V and Kerry. So feel like shoving another quest in there to smooth things out, make the flirting a bit more obvious of hey something might be going on and allow that hesitant opening before a big confession later on would have just smoothed it out. Feel this would have also helped a shit ton with why he’s only attracted to male V. They could have built something out into that to make it more apparent instead of the shit show that was the twitter incident of “he only likes V for Johnny” and blow up that happens in his tag every month. Naturally developed romance scenarios can help a lot with preventing those kinda things. Takes the guess work out of it a bit, just saying.

Other thing, I hate the new ex-wife and kids story. I don’t know why they changed it, I was hoping Kelvy was going to be in 2077. Kerry aint out here winning any dad of the year awards, but from what I took in he was a pretty decent dad to Kelvy. The only thing I can thing of why they tossed that whole thing out was because again they fucked over his timeline. Kerry got married early 20′s and Kelvy was born awhile before the actual marriage. But she proudly used to name Eurodyne, she loved referring to herself as Kerry’s daughter. She was famous in her own right as a media, had her own show and net presence. I can only think she got scrubbed because the game she was in (v3 2020) wasn’t that popular, and again the timeline wouldn’t work for what we see. But I don’t get why they changed it to an aggressively failed marriage and him not wanting to be with his much younger children. I get why in how he is at that point in his life, but from the actual writing I don’t get why that was a better choice than just changing Kelvy’s age. Hell could of had her be a whole quest of rekindling a dying flame with her dad and finding out more of what happened. If anyone would have known some better insight, it would have been her.

Overall I think there’s good bones for Kerry’s stuff, I just wish it was more finetuned. Things did get cut, and feel like there’s a lot more missing than what we have found. As both a bias and a logical point he should have had another quest or two within his main run to allow things to develop a bit more naturally. I don’t mind him being at the end of the game but it does feel like he’s a ghost until then. My first playthrough I actually started to doubt he really was in the game until Johnny said “Hey lets go see Kerry” and I was just that motherfucker IS IN HERE OKAY. I also do feel that the stuff regarding his depression and attempted suicide could have been handled a bit better instead of getting swept away. This goes in hand with him probably needing another quest to just allow breathing room, but on the rooftop he is talking about some seriously heavy stuff and I swear to god if I have to hear that show saying “Rumors of Kerry’s depression was just noisy chatter” one more time Imma lose it. I don’t need details of what’s going on, but just something that its real. It wasn’t just a fad or a fake out. But because everything with him ends so suddenly and you get a drop of more in the endings and credits its just hard to accept that’s all we got.

I dunno, basically less about Johnny in the beginning. More quest time. Give him his daughter back you cowards.

#arguably I like a lot more than I have issue with #its not even that I dont like it I just wish it was slightly different #just its close but slightly off that it doesn't feel right #I will forever hold a grudge against Kelvy tho that I will not let go #she died in our camp but THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT #I loved her #Anonymous

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12yeahiminluvwu · 4 years

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Bad Enough For You

pairing - pop-punk!jj x pop punk!reader

summary- JJ wants you all to himself, and he’ll do anything he has to to make that happen, even if it means reverting to his old ways.

word count- 2,265

warning(s)- swearing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of drugs,

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From the wings, JJ watched as the girl he had shamelessly obsessed over for months sang her lungs out and jumped around the stage like she owned the place. He could tell that this was her element. The stage was where she belonged. From where he stood, he could see her chest moving up and down as she fought hard to breathe but you wouldn’t know by the way she hit every note like it was second nature to her. He watched the way she got down on her knees, reaching out for the crowd and singing right to them. She was fucking good at this. It was no question why they were the most popular band in the little college town.

Y/n was somewhat of a mystery to JJ, even after all this time. He couldn’t figure her out, no matter how hard he tried. He watched countless guys come and go, none of them fitting her standards- of which he had no clue what they were.

He was always nice to her- which was his first mistake. Y/n wasn’t into the nice guy type. Unbeknownst to JJ, she liked her boy, and girls, as bad as they come. Her last boyfriend was a drug dealer from the southside of town who looked like he definitely had killed someone before. She never bothered to ask though, it was just better that way. His second mistake was trying to get her attention. She didn’t give it to anyone she knew wanted it, except for fans on stage. So there JJ was, shit out of luck. It wasn’t until one night after a hopeless encounter that he decided he’d start trying to be someone she would pay attention to. That had been a few weeks ago now. JJ knew how to be an asshole. He’d done it most of his teenage years back home on the island.

As the band was coming off stage, Y/n waited for the typical “Hey good job out there!” from JJ, but all she got was a cold shoulder. He didn’t even acknowledge her, even if all he wanted to do was spin her around and tell her how amazing she’d been. He had to be the bad guy now, because that’s the only way he’d get to her. She brushed it off quickly and made her way back to the green room, whereas JJ and his boys made their way onto the stage.

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“Anyone know The Band CAMINO?” JJ asked and the crowd erupted in loud chants and screams. The tune to See Through filled the bar and the crowd got even louder. She didn’t know it, but Y/n was the inspiration for the band singing this song tonight.

Now it was Y/n’s turn to watch from the wings. She kept her gaze on the blond bassist, silently wishing he would stop trying so hard to get at her.

The air in the bar was damp and smelled like sweat and cheap beer. It was packed wall to wall, for sure violating some type of fire code, but who really cared anyway. The only sound you could hear from here all the way down the block was the live music being played. Lights shined on the boys, illuminating every inch of their skin, making them look like absolute gods. JJ, as usual, had ended up taking his shirt off a few songs into the set, making everyone in the crowd go crazy. Y/n had to admit, the boy knows how to work an audience. He knows exactly what to do to drive them crazy, and if he wasn’t such a kiss ass off stage, she might give him a chance. She just wasn’t into the kind of guys who would drop everything and come running. She liked the chase. She liked feeling like she had to earn the attention of someone, she didn’t like when it came easy.

“Rebound feeling like a rerun, everything that we've done, funny how it all played out.

You're good at looking at me like I'm see-through but I gotta see you, I shoulda learned by now.” The vein in JJ’s neck was straining as he poured his heart into the song. In that moment, with the crowd roaring and the sweat dripping down his face, he felt like he was flying. He felt invincible, and for a moment- he forgot about Y/n. But only for a moment, because as soon as the next verse fell out of his mouth, her image came flooding back into his mind like a tidal wave.

“How do I get your attention? How does it feel to always have mine? How do I address this tension? How you're looking through me every time? Got me out here, got me thinking what I would do, got me in my head, got me wishing I was with you. God, I'm wishing I was with you.” Quickly, JJ glanced over to where you stood and before you could notice, his eyes shifted back to the crowd in front of him.

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Post gig was always JJ’s favorite time because he got to hang out with his boys and revel in the high that was performing live. The air was still thick from the events tonight but the boys didn’t care. The afterparty had moved from the bar to the band’s shared apartment and Y/n’s band was here too. JJ did his best to keep his gaze off of her, but her smile lit up the whole room, and he couldn’t ignore the way he felt when she was around. But he knew that if he showed any of that at all, it would send her running for the hills.

There she was, standing with a drink in her hand, laughing with the lead singer of his band and driving him crazy. He tried to focus on the music playing and the conversation he was having about how good Ashton Irwin’s solo music was, and how his album is going to be a huge hit, but he found himself drifting back to her every time. Excusing himself, he walked into the kitchen to make himself a stronger drink. He stopped cold when he saw who was standing at the counter, back facing him. Shaking his head, and ignoring the hitch in his throat, he brushed past her, reaching around the counter to find what he was looking for.

“You’ve been pretty quiet lately Maybank… any particular reason?” The girl asked from beside him. He looked over at you quickly, simply shrugging his shoulders. That was all he gave you, hoping it would be enough to keep your attention a little longer without looking too interested. You gave him a once over before continuing on with your night.

JJ had left you wanting more, believe it or not. You suddenly wanted to know why he detached himself from you. Was he losing interest in you? Or using reverse psychology to get your attention. Either way, it made your mind race. The more he drew away, the closer you wanted to get. This was the chase you wanted.

By the end of the night, you were drunk off your ass and had somewhat attached yourself to JJ. He paid you no mind other than keeping you from falling over every once and awhile.

“Do you need a ride home?” He asked as people started to clear out and head home. He hadn’t ended up drinking as much as he thought he would, and was completely sober.

“Probably…” You giggled and laid your head on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his middle, attempting to pull him closer to you. On the inside, he was freaking out. His heart was permanently beating at a million miles an hour, his palms sweating and breath caught in his throat, but to anyone looking your way, he looked cool as a cucumber. No one would be able to tell that he was freaked out by the girl of his dreams hanging off him like they were in love.

JJ looked around and saw that your whole band had left and that you two were the only ones left in the living room.

“We should get you back home…” He trailed off, walking the two of you over to the couch and sitting you down so he could grab your things before helping you back up and out to his car. He reached across to belt you in and gently shut the door. Starting the car, the quiet hum of Bad Enough For You by All Time Low filled in the silence between the two of you.

“You know…” Y/n started to say and JJ glanced over at her before returning his gaze to the road. After looking at her ID for her address, he made his way through the streets.

“I actually think you’re really attractive, but you made it wayyy too obvious that you had a thing for me so I pushed you away… because it scares me when people show an interest in me… be-because usually people just leave in the end anyway…”

JJ was quiet for a moment. Had you just admitted that you liked him?

“Why, don’t we talk about this tomorrow when you’re sober?” He asked, parking his car in front of her apartment. Coming around the side of the car, he helped her up out of the seat and walked her to the door, grabbing her keys from her to open the door.

“Will you stay?” She slurred and he hesitated.

“I don’t know if that’s the best idea Y/n…”

“Please? We don’t have to do anything, I just don’t want to be alone when I wake up…” The look on her face was enough to make him do anything she asked him to. His heart melted and he nodded, walking behind her, hands intertwined, to her bedroom. She shimmied out of her skinny jeans and took her bra off under the baggy band tee-shirt that had been tucked into the pants, plopping down on the queen mattress. JJ kicked off his docs and shimmied out of the jeans he’d been wearing before climbing into bed next to her. She tucked herself right into his chest like it was her own little spot and was out in seconds. JJ, on the other hand, took a little longer to fall asleep. He started down at you, your cheek pressed up against his chest, hair all over the place. He’d never seen you look this peaceful, not even on stage. Slowly, he brought his hand up to brush the stray hairs out of your face. He just couldn’t get his mind to shut off. But eventually, his eyelids fell heavily closed and sleep took over him.

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When morning came, you had trouble remembering where you were, and who you were with… Looking up at the person you were laying a slight rush of releifewashed over you, but then you started to worry about what happened last night and lifted the blanket in hopes that your clothes, and his, were still intact. Thank fuck, they were.

You felt JJ take a deep breath and closed your eyes, pretending to be asleep still, doing your best to ignore the pounding headache that resided at the base of your neck. You could tell JJ had a mini freakout, similar to yours, when he opened his eyes. But then his memories of last night came back. Yours came back in pieces, while his came back in a rushing wave. You remembered suddenly wanting all of his attention and doing your best to get it, until your bandmate kept handing you vodka sodas and before you knew it you were hanging all over him the rest of the night. If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, you somehow got him to stay the night with you. And now here you were, tangled in your bedsheets.

Slowly, you looked up at him, trying to gage the situation. He looked down at you, the smallest hint of a smile ghosting across his lips. You found yourself staring at them. The feeling of his fingers trailing up your arm sent shivers down your spine, and heat rushed to your cheeks.

“Uh, hi…” You trailed off, absentmindedly tracing shapes along his abs, sometime last night his shirt had come off, leaving him in his boxers.

“Hey.” He smiled. His voice was deep and scratchy due to the lack of use overnight, his nerves didn’t help any.

“Coffee?” You asked after a pause and he chuckled lightly, nodding his head. You nodded back at him before pushing yourself out of bed and making your way to the kitchen. JJ wasn’t too far behind you, taking a seat on the other side of the island.

“So… last night was interesting…” He began, trying to get the conversation flowing.

“Yeah, uh. I was pretty fucking drunk so. I don’t really remember anything I said…” You admitted from where you stood at your keurig.

“Well, to sum it up, you told me to stop being such a try hard and you think I’m hot.”

“That sounds like something I would say, yeah.” The two laughed and another moment of silence fell on them.

“Well, I would be down to go out if you are…?” She said and JJ did his best to contain his excitement.

“Yeah, that’d be cool.” He said and she smiled, realizing she’d been right about him just faking the hard ass act to get her to like him.

#pop punk!jj #pop punk! y/n #pop punk jj #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #x reader #outer banks #obx #jj maybank x y/n #netflix #jj #jj maybank imagine #jj imagine #jj maybank x you #jj maybank blurb

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angstysebfan · 4 years

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My Roommate’s Boyfriend 7/10

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Your roommate’s boyfriend and you do not get along. You don’t even know why anymore. When your roommate has to move unexpectedly across the country, you both begrudgingly drive her car to her new home. Adventure, angst, and secrets come alive.

Warnings: light swearing

We need to talk.

Bucky couldn’t help but swallow the lump in his throat. Maybe Nat was mad about him sleeping with you. Maybe you told her everything he has said about his feelings toward Nat and you. Bucky took another long swig from the whiskey bottle, before responding to Nat.

I am outside your building. I know she doesn’t want to see me, so come out here and we will talk.

Okay. I’m getting her set up for a shower and then I will come out.

Bucky sat on the steps leading up to the main door of the building. His elbows are on his knees and his head is just hanging. He can’t help but wonder what you are thinking about. He was so happy when he woke up this morning with you in his arms, and now? He doesn’t know what to think. What happened that your mood changed so quickly?

Nat came out and sat next to Bucky on the stairs. She keeps her eyes in front of her and sighs. “Buck, what the hell happened? I thought you finally made progress?!” She yelled. Bucky sits up and looks at the sky before he sighs as well. “I honestly don’t know. When we woke up we were fine! She acted happy about what happened at first, and.... I went to the bathroom to change and when I came out she was acting cold to me.” Bucky said, sounding defeated.

Nat shook her head and looked at him. “Were you serious when you told me that you had feelings for Y/N? Or was it just a game to get back at her for that night in the bar?” Bucky’s eyes widened as he looked at Nat. He scoffed in disbelief.

“We have been together for a year! You know me better than anyone! How could you ask me something like that!?” Bucky yelled standing. Nat stood as well. “Look, she is my best friend, and she has been hurt! I need to know if your intentions are as true as you say, before I attempt to help you win back your girl!” Nat said.

Bucky shakes his head. “Yes, my feelings for her are real. Is that what she thinks? That I lied to get her into bed? Is that what she thinks of me?” Bucky starts to feel anger toward you. Nat walks up to Bucky and pulls him into a hug. His anger starts subsiding as he holds Nat tighter. He looks down at her face for a moment, before leaning in and kissing her.

Before Nat can react they both hear a voice, “What the fuck!” They both pull away quickly to see you turning around and running back upstairs. Bucky doesn’t think, he runs after you, with Nat trailing behind.

When they walk into the apartment, you are gathering your things. “Y/N, wait! What you saw--” “I don’t care what I saw James. It doesn’t matter. All it shows is that I was right and you are the biggest asshole in the world!” You said, interrupting him. Bucky slowly walks toward you.

“Y/N please! I don’t understand what happened! What did I do to piss you off so badly? I thought we were happy!” He pleads. You look at him with fire in your y/e/c eyes. You ignore him and look at Nat. “I don’t blame you, so don’t worry Nat, but I called an Uber and I am going to the airport now. All I am wanting now is the key to my apartment.” You say looking back at Bucky. You hold out your hand waiting.

Bucky just looks at you with sadness in his eyes. Finally he sighs defeatedly, taking the keys out of his pocket. Once he releases the apartment key from the rest of his, he places it in your hand. You put it in your pocket and pick up your duffel bag, walking toward Nat giving her a hug. “I will call you when I land and we will start planning my solo trip out here okay?” you say.

Nat looks at you sadly, but nods. You don’t look back toward Bucky, just walk to the door of the apartment, and leave. Nat and Bucky just look at each other for moment. Nat turns and runs out of the apartment after you. “Y/N!” she calls as she sees you opening the door to your Uber. you turn and face her. “Bucky and I haven’t been together in over a month. When I decided to move out here, we ended it. He told me he had feelings for you a few weeks ago, and I have been the one pushing you both together.” she says.

You look at her in shock, but recover quickly. “Well, your plan failed. He must have lied about his feelings toward me, because I was nothing more than a bet to him. I’m sorry Nat, but it’s over.” you say. Before she can respond you get in the car and close the door. The car pulls away and heads toward the airport, leaving Nat and Bucky behind.

Once you checked in to your flight, you head toward security. You place your duffel bag, purse, jacket, and shoes on the conveyer belt. You walk through the metal detector, which goes off. You check your pockets when you see the key that Bucky had. Tears start to well up in your eyes as you look at the TSA agent. You hand the key to her, “You can just throw this away. No one will need it.”

When Nat went back up into the apartment she found Bucky sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. She walks up and sits next to him. “What was the bet you and Sam made?” she whispered. Bucky doesn’t move, but she hears the muffled, “What?” She says a little louder, “What was the bet... that you made with Sam?”

Bucky lifts his head and looks at her confused. “What the hell are you talking about Nat?” he asks, exasperated. Nat just shook her head, “Y/N saw a text message this morning between you and Sam. You apparently told him he owed you 50 bucks and he asked how far you got.” Bucky’s looks at Nat, still confused. “Uh... I bet him I could make to your doorstep in 3 days, but because I decided to stop last night, I owed him $50. Is.... is that what she was upset about? She thought I meant her?” he asks concerned.

Nat nods quietly. “She thought you made a bet about how far you could get with her. She thought everything you said about your feelings toward her was a lie to embarrass her because of what she said at the bar.” Bucky stares at Nat in disbelief. “Wh- wh- why didn’t she say anything to me? Why didn’t she ask me for the truth?” Bucky says.

Nat shrugs, “I don’t know. She has always been very protective of her heart, and I guess it was easier to believe that you were lying, then toying with the idea that you actually liked her. I mean lets be honest, even I was unsure if you were telling the truth, at first. You were a complete douchebag for the last year, it makes sense that she is unsure.”

Bucky shakes his head, “Maybe I should just give up. She obviously will never trust me. What’s the point in trying?” Nat gives Bucky a hug as tears fall down his cheeks.

You get back to your apartment early the next morning. Looking around the room, everything looks as it did when you left, but you feel so different. You walk silently to Nat’s old room and stand in your doorway looking in. All that’s left is a mattress and box spring. You walk into the room and sit on the bed. You look at the empty walls, and for the first time in awhile, you feel utterly alone. You break down and start to sob.

You miss your best friend and you can’t believe you are thinking this after everything that has happened. But you miss Bucky.

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Sorry it took so long to write. Like my last post said, had a lot of family shit going on and lost my momentum. I decided to pick it back up, because I do use my writing as a therapy for me feelings. Feedback is appreciated.

Taglist: @iheartsebastianstan, @jessyballet, @finleyjayne, @cap-just-said-language, @sarcastic-and-cool, @humbledarkness, @broco8, @ohjammers

#Bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky x reader #bucky x natasha #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #modern bucky barnes

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kyoomiii · 4 years

Text

♡ Hide and seek in the dark [hcs]

- ✎ characters ❝ hinata, kuroo, ushijima, and sugawara ❞

- [ trigger warning(s): none ]

- ⚘ genre ❝ fluff, crack ❞

❝ this made me soft- but then again Ushiwaka is my ultimate weak spot (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑) ❞

-kyo ♡

The two of you happen to be childhood friends seeing as you grew up just next door to him for most of your life- though, eventually you did become something more during your early months of high school.

Anyway, on this particular evening Hinata’s parents decided to go on a date night, leaving him and Natsu on their own for awhile, and while this isn’t exactly the first time Hinata’s been left to babysit his younger sister on his own, his parents are still a little nervous- especially after the incident with the neighborhood dogs and a box of ham.

As a result they ask you to come over, just to check in and make sure the house hasn’t burned down, though they don’t mind you staying over for a while, much to Hinata’s delight.

Though at one point in the night you began playing games with the two, as to assure the house wouldn’t burn down at the expense of their boredom.

That’s what led to hide and seek, but Hinata being Hinata decided to spice it up a bit, and turned off the lights.

But the dumb made himself panic and couldn’t find a hiding spot so he ended up following you.

So that’s how the two of you find yourself in a tiny hallway closet huddled together in fear of your life as Natsu patters just outside the door. Her little giggles turning the once playful atmosphere eerie and downright terrifying.

“Onii-chan~”

“I don’t wanna die”

“-Sho she’s 10…”

You’re scared and cramped, and Hinata’s knees are digging into your ribs.

Next time you would have to make sure you either a. Hide before he notices you, or b. Kick him out of your spot if he decides to follow you again.

“I really don’t understand how you couldn’t find another hiding spot in your own house.”

“I panicked”

But the thought disappears as Natsu’s voice grows closer. He was undoubtedly a little too loud to just go unnoticed.

“I found you~”

You would never do this again… But you would be lying if you said you didn’t have fun.

It was a Friday night after school when you went over to Kuroo’s house, the two of you planned a much needed movie night filled with snacks and cuddling, something that both of you have been craving, but not being able to actually do because of busy schedules.

You’re in the middle of Mulan when suddenly the power shuts off leaving the two of you in the dark living room questioning what the heck just happened.

“Hey babe- you’re a girl worth fighting for” *insert awful wink*

"y/n I'm a dude- but damn right I am” *insert another awful wink*

Kuroo decides to check the circuit breaker, but when he comes back it turns out the whole neighborhood is out, with confirmation from Kenma who sent a text about the lights in his house going out.

It’s a bit of a bummer, and Kuroo expresses his slight disappointment with a small pout, but being as quick as he is, gets over it through suggesting you play games instead.

At first you’re a little apprehensive, because what game can you play in pitch darkness? To which Kuroo proposes hide and seek in the dark.

“I don’t know Tetsu…”

“Come on y/n it’ll be so much fun~”

Turns out he was right, you honestly didn’t think you’d have as much fun as you were having, sure games were fun, but as you grew older you didn’t really play them like how you did when you were young.

By the fourth round, it’s Kuroo’s turn to hide, leaving you to search for the scheming beanstalk who is surprisingly really good at hiding in small spaces despite his tall height and not so tiny build.

About 15 minutes into the round you end up wandering into his room on the hunch that he is indeed in there somewhere.

Though unbeknownst to you there is a small table set out in the middle of the room- something Kuroo had gotten recently because he finds sitting on the floor to study more comfortable than his desk. And as a result you trip over it, landing on the floor with a harsh thud and a curse.

At first Kuroo thought it was a plan to lure him out of his hiding spot, but when he hears the small whimper this is his name, the game is immediately forgotten and he’s by your side in seconds.

“Tetsu…”

“Let’s take a look at that okay?”

Luckily there were no cuts, but there was a small bruise much to his and your dismay. But as an athlete he has learned to stock up on ice-pads and other first aid supplies.

“You’re so clumsy kitten.”

“I’m sorry I can’t see in the dark”

“It’s okay I’m a professional now.”

“Reading off of MayoClinic doesn’t make you a professional Tetsu…”

For the remainder of the night the two of you cuddle in his bed, talking about everything and anything until you fall asleep.

“Where were you hiding?”

“Under the bed.”

Today was one of the many days in which Ushijima was the last to leave the gym from practice, even Satori had left quite a while ago, heading back to their shared dorm leaving you and Ushijima alone.

Ushijima had told you previously that you didn’t need to wait on him, but with how busy the both of you were all the time, you would take any chance you could get to spend time with him and vice versa.

By the time the sun has long disappeared in the horizon, Ushijima has just barely finished his solo practice. But it’s then you hear it, the loud crash of thunder and the flash of lightning.

It’s pouring and freezing when he finally cleans up the remnants of things that have been left out from his practice.

However, despite being finished and the gym being clean neither one of you wished to leave, not wanting to catch a cold in the storm that’s raging on. So you opt to wait it out a little, just to see if it’ll get better.

In the meantime though you suggest entertaining yourselves with some games- and to your surprise Ushijima agrees.

“Toshi let’s play a game while we wait.”

“I suppose that’ll be alright.”

“Really?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“( ⊙０⊙ )"

And so you start off with hide and seek in the dark- Not wanting to get your ass kicked at tag or some other game where he’d dominate.

After turning the lights of and counting to ten, you turn around and find that the gym is empty, only lit by the light of the lamp posts just outside the doors.

And despite the wide open space he is nowhere to be seen, almost like he just disappeared.

But nonetheless you are determined to find farmer boy, because this was one game you were not willing to lose.

At least that’s what you told yourself at the beginning, but after like 20 minutes of looking you’re tired and confused as to how this giant tree is able to hide when there is essentially nowhere to hide.

So as you sit on the floor in the middle of the gym wondering where the hell Ushiwaka went, or maybe if he just left you a pair of arms wrap around you, and you’re so accustomed to the warmth that you know it’s him.

“The rain has stopped.”

“I guess it has…”

However, in the end you’re still confused as to how he was so good- something you’d have to discuss with him later because the rain has finally let up.

“Where-”

“In the corner, you walked by me three times.”

“-Wha…”

He kinda just shrugs.

And as you leave the gym opting for the much warmer dorms, you cling to Ushijima, still completely boggled by the fact that he was in a corner this entire time. The thought on your mind even as you crawl into his bed for late night cuddles

“Don’t worry y/n, perhaps better luck next time.”

Despite Sugawara’s role as “mom friend” he too voluntarily contributes to chaos amongst the Karasuno volleyball club.

And how the whole team ended up in the middle of a park at the end of a Friday after school running around in the dark will be something that will remain unknown to everyone except Sugawara Koushi (who was the cause of all of this in favor of team bonding)

Not even you could see this coming despite knowing Sugawara like the back of your hand.

But here you are now hiding in a tube meant for little children as the third year boys search for the rest of the team.

You have no idea where anyone else is, but the high pitched screams of Hinata soon followed by Yachi assure you that they are definitely still close by

This ultimately adds to your panic because you know- you just know that Sugawara is targeting you.

And the gentle tap against the plastic tube seems to confirm your suspicions.

A faint whisper of your name has you clasping a hand over your mouth to suppress any possible noises, because you refused to lose to him.

“y/n- chan~”

“Goawaygoawaygoaway”

He’s here… And he’s playing mind games with you.

Your mind is torn in half, a part of you saying you should try to get out, and book it to a new hiding spot, and the other telling you that maybe he doesn’t know you’re in the tube necessarily and this is all just to bait you out.

Sugawara is smart- something you’ve learned to not underestimate, and he knows what he’s doing. So as a result you decide to stay put, hoping that he would leave you alone.

Boy were you wrong… At one end of the tunnel there was a slide, and what you didn’t expect was a hand to grab your ankle, forcefully pulling you down the slide (but, of course he’s careful not to hurt you) as evil laughter and your scream of terror rips through the air.

“I found you!”

“Oh my god Koushi!”

Needless to say, Sugawara found you, and in the process nearly gave you a heart attack (however, he does in fact apologize with buying you snacks and giving you all the cuddles you wanted)

“I think y/n-senpai just died…”

Sugawara Koushi is indeed a devil with the face of an angel’

“I can’t believe such an angel-like face belongs to a devil like you…”

“Aw~ You know you love me!”

“I guess... (;¬_¬)”

#haikyuu headcanons #hq headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #haikyuu!! headcanons #hinata shoyo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #hinata headcanons #kuroo headcanons #ushijima headcanons #sugawara headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader headcanons #hq x reader headcanons

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tsukkisbean · 4 years

Text

what else is out there

pairing: bf!tetsurou kuroo x gn!reader (ft. yuuji terushima)

theme: university au

genre: angst

warnings: breaking up, swearing, underage drinking, smoking, mentions of drugs (weed), mentions of sex, possible cheating (you be the judge), brief making out

word count: 2.5k

a/n: hello!! this is the first angst i’ve ever written so i’m kind of nervous about posting it. but if i don’t write i’ll never improve!!! i would love any feedback or comments in general :’)

b/f/n = best friend’s name; terushima will be referred to as yuuji given western culture;

music: i don’t have a specific song but i recommend any lewis capaldi song!

summary: as your second year of university comes to a close, your 8th anniversary with tetsuro is right around the corner. despite attending university on the other side of the world, your relationship has never been stronger. everyone around you always tells you how lucky you are to have found “the one” so early on in life; how lucky you are to have such a committed and loving boyfriend. but what happens when a single question from a drunken classmate causes your relationship to fall into a downwards spiral?

You glance at the clock on your phone for the nth time, uncertain why you were feeling so nervous. You mindlessly play with the silver ring on your ring finger; a gift from Tetsu. The day you were due to fly to America he had given you a promise ring to solidify your love for each other. The two of you had a plan; you’d finish your education at your respective universities and then you’d return to Japan to find and a job. Once you worked for a couple of years you’d finally get married, buy a house, have kids and spend the rest of your lives together.

Maybe you were just feeling anxious about your exam from last week. After all, you didn’t put much effort into studying as it was your last exam of the school year and all you wanted to do was let loose.

Or maybe it was what Yuuji had said to you the other night.

Three days ago

You weren’t usually the type to go to frat parties, but your best friend had been begging you to go with her all week, and for some reason you just couldn’t turn her down this time.

As you approached the frat house you noticed the unhealthy amount of people already wasted on the front lawn well before 10pm. You gripped your best friend’s hand as you walked through the door, the mixed smell of smoke, weed and alcohol instantly filled your lungs.

Together you ventured through the sea of college students towards the kitchen area hoping to find some more familiar faces.

“Y/N, B/F/N, over here!” you caught a glimpse of blonde hair, instantly recognizing him to be Yuuji Terushima. You weren’t extremely close but the two had many mutual friends so you interacted fairly often. Not to mention he was also from Japan so it was nice to also have someone to talk to about home once in awhile.

“I’m surprised to see you here Y/N I assumed you had to call your boyfriend or something.” At the time you weren’t sure if it was the fact that he was drunk, but the way he looked at you when he spoke made you feel uneasy.

Your best friend downed a shot before wagging a finger at the blonde hair boy, “shut UP, Yuuji, you’re just jealous that you can’t hold a relationship for longer than a month.”

Yuuji quickly held his hands out in defense, shaking his head, “nah, I’m just saying whenever we invite Y/N out they always say they have to study or call that they have to call their boyfriend. Since exams are over I just assumed.”

You pursed your lips, eyes darting between your circle of friends and the numerous shots scattered across the table. You took a deep breath before grabbing one of the shots, and downed it faster than your brain could process. The burning sensation in your throat was unfamiliar, almost painful, causing you to break out into a coughing fit.

Immediately another cup is pressed against your lips and as you drank the cool liquid, the bitter taste in your mouth is slowly washed away.

Yuuji gave your back a gentle pat, “Geez Y/N, first you’re at a frat party and now you’re downing vodka for the first time. Try not to lose all your firsts tonight, alright?”

“Hey, at least they don’t have to worry about losing their virginity still unlike some people.”

Howls and hoots erupted from all around but all you could think about was how red you must’ve looked. After all, what they had said about you wasn’t exactly true.

Yuuji noticed the troubled look on your face, a smirk spread across his own. He leaned in towards you, his lips gently pressed against your ear “Y/N don’t tell me you’re a virgin?”

You whipped your head towards him, your embarrassment now replaced with annoyance, “Yuuji I don’t know who you think you are but that’s none of your business.”

Yuuji shrugged his shoulders, taking another gulp out of his solo cup before he glanced back at you. You had noticed it earlier but tried to shake it off as him being drunk, but it was definitely there. The look of longing and lust clouded his eyes. Before you could react, his arms planted themselves on either side of your body.

“Y/N don’t you ever wonder what else is out there?”

Present

It’s well past your agreed call time with Tetsu, yet he hasn’t sent you any messages to tell you that he was going to be late or that he needed to reschedule. Unlocking your phone, you open your boyfriend’s contact info and press dial.

Ring, ring, ring. No response.

You click his number again, wondering where he could be. This was your usual weekly call time so it wasn’t like him to go missing. As your phone dials, you hear a familiar ring in the distance. You stay still as the ringing grows louder, it couldn’t be? You reach Tetsu’s voicemail once again so you hang up and the distant ringing also stops.

The silence in your apartment is cut by three quick knocks on your door. Dropping your phone on the kitchen table you rush to open the door, and on the other side is none other than your boyfriend.

“Tetsu!” you body automatically launches itself into his arms, his familiar scent filling your lungs. His grip on you is strong as he nuzzles himself into the crook of your neck.

“Hey baby, glad to know you missed me too.” the dark hair boy chuckles before setting you down, “so, are you going to invite me in or what?”

You grab his suitcase, gently shoving him inside, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were coming.”

Your boyfriend lets out another hearty laugh before turning to flick your forehead, “well that’s the whole point of a surprise, dummy. Besides, it’s almost our 8th anniversary and I wanted to spend it with you in person rather than over a face time call.”

Stumbling back upon the impact you press your palms against your head, glaring up at the male in front of you. But before you get the chance to scold him, you’re shoved against the wall and his hands begin to roam your body before settling comfortably on your hips. For a moment the two of you say nothing, only basking in each others’ presence.

But the longer the two of you stare at each other, the more uncomfortable you feel yourself become. The initial shock and excitement of seeing him has already worn off. It’s been months since you last saw Tetsu, you should feel ecstatic that he’s here, but instead a tight feeling settles in your chest.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a familiar warmth against your lips. His lips move against yours frantically, as if you were going to disappear into thin air. Yet, no matter how hard you try, you can’t match his intensity.

Tetsu sighs against your lips before pulling away. He leans back slightly, eyes boring into you, “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

The question catches you off guard, “what do you mean? I’m fine.”

The tall male frowns at you, running a hand through his hair, “you’re not fine, you’ve been acting weird for the past couple of days and I want you to tell me what’s on your mind.”

You lower your head, eyes glued to the floor as you rub your palms against your pants. You try to calm yourself but it’s no use, you know the inevitable is coming and there’s no way around it.

You can’t help it, you try hard but your eyes betray you before you can say anything. The tears roll down your face onto the hardwood floors.

“I’m sorry Tetsu, I’m so sorry.”

Tetsu is taken by surprise at the appearance of your water works. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace, “please baby, tell me what’s bothering you.”

Though he was the one that asked, he had a slight suspicion about what was going on. The last 3 days you hadn’t been responding to his text messages much. Asides from the time difference you took hours to respond and when you did your messages were only a couple of words long. Yet you were always updating your social medias, showcasing delicious food or gorgeous scenery.

After a few minutes, he pulls away from you. His heart is pounding against his chest, and feels like the entire world is weighing down on his shoulders.

“Y/N do you want to break up with me?”

You slump to the ground, your whimpers slowly turn into loud sobs filling the space of your apartment. Why were you crying? You weren’t the one being dumped and yet here you were, blubbering like a child. Bringing the back of your hand to your face, you do your best to wipe away your tears and stable your breathing.

Slowly, you lift your head to look into the eyes of the man who’s heart you probably just ripped out. He bends down to meet your eyes and when you see his, they’re full of sadness, pain and betrayal.

“Y/N...why? Did I do something wrong? Is it because of something I said or something I did? I’m sorry if I did, you know I love you and that I never want to hurt you.”

You shake your head furiously, feeling your eyes start to well up again. You’re unsure how to answer, because you know Tetsu had done nothing wrong. In fact, he’s done everything right up until this point. He texts you good morning and night every day, and always pushes you to be your best self. He constantly tells you he loves you and why he’s thankful to have you in his life. So why exactly were you trying to break something that didn’t need to be broken?

“No Tetsu, you didn’t do anything. This is my problem, I-” you’re cut off by Tetsu’s hand making contact with the wall.

“Y/N don’t give me any form of that, “it’s not you it’s me bullshit” ‘cause I’m not buying it.”

You meet his eyes again but this time, they’re filled with pure rage. You try to press yourself against the wall more, but there’s no where left for you to go. You’re caged in between his arms, “you still haven’t answered me. Why?”

Running a shaky hand through his hair he barely makes out a whisper this time, “Is there someone else?”

You would never cheat on Tetsu, he was supposed to be the love of your life. Right? Your mind begins to flashes bits and pieces of the party from the other night. Countless shots for hours on end, laughing until your stomach hurt, and maybe a couple of innocent touches here and there. Stumbling up the stairs hand in hand, giggling like children. Waking up in a random bedroom, hair in disarray, half clothed and your limbs tangled up with a familiar blonde hair boy. You squeeze your eyes shut, shaking your head. You would never.

He hates himself for even bringing it up but he needs to know. All he needs is confirmation that no one else stands between the two of you. That way, maybe, just maybe you two could work things out. But he sees the way you tense up at his question. Your fingers curl and uncurl themselves and your eyes look anywhere but his.

Tetsu’s voice brings you back to reality, “Y/N is there someone else?”

Before you can say anything, your phone goes off. Tetsu pushes against the wall to stand up and heads towards the kitchen to where your phone is. You scramble after him, but it’s too late he already has your phone in your hand.

“So, Y/N, have you decided that you want to see what else is out there?”

As he finishes reading the text message, his voice cracks. The pain in his voice is unmistakable. He slumps onto the ground with a thud, your phone following suit. As you look down at him, his large frame has never looked so small to you before. He begins to shake, and this time it’s his sobs that fill your apartment.

Slowly, you shuffle towards him. You get onto your knees and reach out to wipe his tears away but he catches your hand before you can move any closer.

“8 years. I gave you 8 fucking years and this is what you do.” his breathing is laboured yet his words are cold and sharp.

You open your mouth to speak but he cuts you off again, “Y/N we had a plan. We were supposed to finish school, get married, buy a house, and have kids. We were supposed to be happy.”

You shake your head and try to explain, “Tetsu, I swear nothing happened, it’s just...” at this point were you trying to convince him or yourself?

He held up your left hand between the two of you, “just what? We made a promise to each other, remember? Does all of that mean nothing to you?”

You furrow your brows as your eyes begin to sting once more, “I know we did and I’m sorry. I can’t even express how sorry I am to you. You’ve given me so much these past 8 years. I never wanted to hurt you like this.” You burrow your face into your hands as your sobs become overwhelming.

He reaches out to cup your face in his hands, tilting your head upwards to look at him. His face is stained with tears, and the area around his eyes is red but for some reason he can’t bring himself to stay angry at you, “Y/N, please look at me.”

When you look into his eyes again, you can no longer read his expression.

“My love.” the sudden softness strikes a chord in your heart, was this really what you wanted? “This entire time you’ve only been saying how sorry are you. If you really want to leave me, you’ll have to tell me yourself.”

You place your hands on top of his, and squeeze your eyes shut, enjoying his warmth momentarily. Your mind glosses over the past 8 years you’ve shared together. You think about your first kiss, your first date, meeting each others’ parents for the first time. You think about how you attended all his volleyball games and how he would send a special hand signal to you every time he scored a point or blocked a spike. You think about how he ran onto the stage during your graduation ceremony to declare his undying love for you.

When you open your eyes, you find him staring intently back at you. His eyes are filled with so much love and hope. It’s almost as if he’s silently pleading for you to come to your senses. He hopes that you’ll realize that he is and has always been your happy ending. Yes he was hurting, but nothing would hurt more than you walking out of his life forever.

Your grip around his hands tighten as you lean forward to press your foreheads together.

“Testu, let’s break up.”

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x you #kuroo testurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo testurou angst #haikyuu angst #clara click clacks

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