#I’m still on Insta!!! but I felt I had 2 say something here for those who may not be able to follow me there

[dreagine]

Hi hi to all the sillies of the world!!!!

So, I’ve decided that I’m not gonna use this account anymore, or tumblr in general really. Social media has become overwhelming, and being on so many platforms and having a plethora of different accounts, side accounts has just been a whole lot. It’s been getting me down recently.

So I’ve decided to get rid of this one!!

I won’t be deleting anything on here, all my accounts will still be up, I just won’t be active on them until further notice. Maybe I’ll come back one faithful day or hop on every now and then…but for the most part it’s gonna be radio silence here🫡

That being said!!!!! I will still be active on Instagram under the username ‘Teazzrr’ in case you still want to follow me and see new art(hopefully)!!

But really, thanks for supporting me on here! And thank you if you continue to on Instagram. Some of the reblogs and things written in the tags and my ask box are just the sweetest things I’ve read ever, and they’ve given me a good laugh! I genuinely appreciate all of you, and all the kind words!!!!

All in all, not gone, just won’t be here on tumblr any longer, and this was a really long way of saying that, lolz!! :]

#Te talks #sometimes social media becomes way to much for me #and I’m unsure how to handle it #but I figure this is a good way to do it #for now at least #but thanks for all of the support on here #you guys are the best!!! I feel bad that I wasn’t as talkative or active #especially given that some of you really were invested in my art and ideas #I really do appreciate it..how much you’ll never know!!! #and all of this sounds like I’m going for good lolz #I’m still on Insta!!! but I felt I had 2 say something here for those who may not be able to follow me there #or might not want 2 #either way #talking in the tags #maybe edit this later #it feels so long!!!

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Rachel Daly x Reader

Part One - Nobody Says No to That!

Posted: 11/03/23 Edited: 18/07/23

As the final whistle blew you threw your hands in the air cheering and jumping around hugging your friends. England just won 2-1 against USA at Wembley Stadium in front of a sell out crowd! You and your two besties couldn’t be happier! Turning your attention to the pitch and clapping your team who were celebrating with each other, a huge smile spread over your face while glancing around the stadium soaking up the atmosphere. It felt so good to see your team back here after the EUROS in front of so many fans. Continuing the celebrations you watched the players form a circle and congratulate each other then they broke out and started their lap of honour, walking around to thank the fans.

Your eyes followed them around the stadium when you spotted one of the players heading straight towards you, it was none other than Rachel Daly!! Your favourite player and not just for her amazing skills but also your biggest crush! Your heart started beating faster while trying to not seem overly excited. She was jogging over with her shirt in hand, held it out towards you and asked “would you like this?” You were trying to remain cool, calm and collected, reaching out to take it and saying “I bet nobody says no to that, do they!” with a smirk. Rachel simply shook her head with a goofy smile on her face. Your friends were gobsmacked; eyes wide and jaws dropped, they couldn’t believe what they were seeing! Tens of thousands of fans in the stadium, a lot with signs that said “Daly can I have your shirt” but she chose little ole you with no sign, just a huge smile. “Could you sign it for me please?” you asked hopefully. Rachel looked behind her in a cautious manner “I’ve just gotta do some interviews and I’ll be back, do you have a pen?” Shaking your head as you weren’t expecting to get anyones autographs today, Rachel gave a thumbs up and jogged away.

Slowly turning toward your friends whose eyes were still wide and letting out a silent scream - “oh.my.god… I can’t believe it!!” you exclaimed joyfully. “Neither can we!” your bffs said seemingly just as happy for you, holding the shirt up to admire it. Then one of your friends spoke up “you know after the whistle blew Rapinoe asked for Rachel’s shirt, she must have said no to give it to you!”

Your mind wandered off trying to think of how you had stood out to her in front of all of these people, when you remembered… Just before the end of the first half, the ball flew off the pitch and into the stands. You’d thrown it back in and Rachel caught it, you’d shared a little smile before play continued. You wondered if this was the reason she gave you her shirt… but throw ins happen at every game, they’re nothing special. Maybe she was just being kind, who knows. ‘Hopefully she’ll remember to come back to me’, you thought, dreaming of those beautiful blue eyes once more as you skimmed the pitch until you spotted her in front of a camera being interviewed by Sky Sports. By this time the fans had all trickled down and you three were the only ones there. “I think we should go (y/n/n), she’s probably forgotten about you” joked your friend. “Hey! Don’t ruin my daydream like that, who do you think you are?” you laughed and gently slapped your friend. It was at that moment you spotted Rachel look towards you in a way to check you were still there and told your friends you’re not leaving unless she goes back into the tunnel. They carried on the conversation but your mind was elsewhere, eyes firmly set on Rachel willing her to come running back to you.

To pass the time you began to flick through Insta Stories seeing the players repost the team photos from the day. Later looking up to see the striker jogging towards you waving something above her head with the biggest smile on her face… it was a sharpie! “I’m so glad you’re still here, sorry that took a lot longer than I thought it would”, “that’s okay, was starting to think you were taking ages hoping we would leave!” you laughed cautiously hoping that wasn’t the real reason. “Of course not! I wouldn’t have said I’d come back if I didn’t mean it!” she said reassuringly. Your friends asked if you could have a photo and as you opened the camera on your phone Rachel leaned her head in for a closer look “is that me and Millie?!” she asked surprised to see her picture as your background, “yeah after you won the euros, it makes me happy” trying to play it cool. She snapped a few photos of you all and passed your phone back, “tell you what, to say sorry for keeping you waiting how about I give you a behind the scenes tour?” she asked. “Well I know nobody has ever said no to that!” you chuckled nervously, “I’ve never invited someone on a tour before” she smiled “so you better not say no!” You both giggled at each other but when you asked if your friends could come, Rachel’s facial expression changed - “there’s actually only room for one, I could still get in trouble for that”. Your friends shook your shoulders and insisted you go, they both gave you a look that said ‘have the best fucking time and tell us EVERYTHING when you get out!’ You told them that you’ll call them after to find out where to meet back up as Rachel took your hand and lead you to the hatch onto the pitch. “Look after her!” your bff shouted “of course I will!” Rachel shouted back in her northern accent that made you want to melt.

Rachel lead you across the pitch towards the dugouts as she was telling you about the different stands and where her family sit on game day. Once in the tunnel, the blonde stopped and took her shirt out of your hand “you can put this on if you want” she said with a half smile/half smirk. “I’d look a bit fangirly don’t you think” you joked. “Nothing wrong with that!” she replied while elbowing you in the ribs lightly. Looking around to make sure no one else was watching you lifted your England top above your head to show off your new bra before pulling on the number 9 shirt. ‘Thank god I decided to wear the sexy underwear today’, you thought to yourself. You knew her eyes were on you the entire time and you couldn’t resist the attention. “Does it suit me?” you asked while spinning round to show off her name on your back. Rachel pouted her lips and nodded with a suggestive look on her face “you know there were toilets over there but I’m not complaining” coyly biting her bottom lip and holding your gaze for a moment. “Come on I’ll show you the changing room”, Rachel pushed a door open forcefully while shouting “GIRLS, are you decent?!” A cluster of different voices came from the other side, but one stood out - Millie Bright “you don’t usually care Rach!” she cackled. “Well today’s different, EVERYONE! I’d like to introduce you to my biggest fan!” strutting inside and making you do a twirl in front of the team. Feeling firmly embarrassed you quipped up “so that’s why you made me put this on before coming in here, so you can prance me around like your prized cow!” Millie almost spat out her drink and the other girls laughed at your comment making you feel more at ease.

“Oh like that is it” piped up Beth Mead, as you shot her a puzzled look “Rachel only gives her shirts to sick kids or girls she thinks are hot” she explained. A smile spread across your face as you turned your head towards Rachel with a raised eyebrow. “Well I’m not sick” your smirk remained firm as Rachel looked flustered, her cover blown making your confidence sky rocket. “So I am your prized cow” you joked, “I think you’re more of a goat” she said cautiously holding back laughter.

That’s when Alessia Russo came wandering in “Rach, physio wants you… who’s this?” she asked as she noticed a stranger standing in the middle of the changing room. “Rachel’s prize goat” Millie snorted into her drink. Lessi looked puzzled but introduced herself and sat down with the others. “Okay I’ll pop to physio, I won’t be long. Girls can you make her feel at home, oh and sign her England shirt yeah - don’t touch mine!” she grazed the small of your back as she ran out of the room and down a corridor.

Millie was the first to approach you and ask your name as she took your England shirt out of your hand. “(Y/n)” you replied with a smile while holding it taught so she could sign it. “Nice to meet you (y/n), Rachel’s a nutter but she’ll take care of you” she said passing your shirt around to the others. “Did you enjoy the game?” gesturing for you to sit next to her on the bench. You explained how it was your first England game and thought it was incredible and how it made you feel so happy. “I can’t believe I’m back here with all of you, I’m going to wake up in a minute and it was all a dream!” Beth walked over and pinched you shout out in discomfort, “see, we’re real! We’re just normal people!”

Suddenly Mary Earps appeared from nowhere and caught you off guard “OMG MEARPS!” fangirling a little bit in front of the goalie before going in for a hug “you’re fucking amazing!” “Yes, yes I am aren’t I” she said with cockiness as she flicked her hair over her shoulder - exactly how you imagined she’d react. “Girls I’ve found a new tiktok dance who wants to do it?” The usual culprits - Millie and Beth expressed their enthusiasm before realising they were down a member. “Do you know how to dance?” Mary asked, “I’m probably worse than Rachel tbh!” laughing nervously over what you were about to get dragged into. “That’s impossible!” she said enthusiastically, taking your arm and dragging you to the other side of the room to show you all what the trend was. The other girls fizzled out of the room saying their goodbyes, you thanked them for making you feel welcome and for signing your shirt. It was just you four left in the room, Millie taking lead being the dance teacher trying to get you all up to standard before recording.

“Right we better head off, we have an early one tomorrow!” they said as they started packing up their belongings. Asking what was happening and they told you they have training for the next friendly against Brazil in the morning. “Can you remind Rachel please, she’s so forgetful!” Millie said while giving you a big tight squeeze, you said you’ll try as you’re also forgetful and it’s not everyday you meet your idols. Millie then pecked your forehead which made your heart miss a beat as you gazed up at her big blue eyes, your knees felt weak and you wondered who you could possible be crushing harder on. Remembering that sadly Millie is straight you went back to thinking of Rachel. “Hope to see you tomorrow!” Beth called out as they all left together.

With that, you were left alone in the changing room wondering what happens next, ‘where’s Rachel? Am I just meant to wait here for her to come back? Have I overstayed my welcome and should just disappear?’ You decided to FaceTime your friends and tell them about what’s happened, they wanted all the details - the shirt, the tiktok, the Millie kiss, and now you’re alone wondering what to do. You showed them around the room and pointed out everyone’s shirts that were left on hooks and all the boots on the floor. Suddenly your conversation was interrupted by a man walking in. He looked at you weird and asked who you were; telling him you’re a friend of Rachel’s and waiting for her to get back from physio. He looked at you questionably while picking up the dirty kits then left. “Friend of Rachel’s are ya?” your friends piped up, you forgot you were on the phone to them during that awkward encounter. You bragged how Beth said she hoped to see you tomorrow then stuck your tongue out and hung up, looking around the room wondering what to do next. You edged towards the corridor you saw Rachel leave through earlier and decided to call out for her. “Rachel?” “Yeah?” “Erm.. I think I’m gonna go” “what?! You have to leave?” the disappointment in her voice obvious, “well.. no but everyone’s gone and a man came in and looked at me like I’m a stalker” “oh that’s Gary don’t mind him! I’m down here, come join me!”

Part Two - The Night That Changed Everything 🔞

#Rachel daly x reader #Rachel daly #Millie bright #Beth mead #lionesses #woso #woso x reader #lucy bronze #jordan nobbs

[a-not-so-sure-artist]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :3

Oooo ok!

Art/Drawing: This is a no-brainer lol. I like drawing fan art a lot of the time and same with original works. I enjoy doing redesigns/reimagining characters in my own style too, sometimes!

Traveling: I like going places! My favorite places to go are beaches or theme parks. Speaking of theme parks, my favorite one is definitely Universal Studios. I’d love to go back there again soon but with friends!

Stuffed Animals/toys: Imma sound a bit childish saying this but I genuinely love stuffed animals so much! I had more of those than I did dolls when I was younger, which was probably about 2 or 3. Stuffed toys are just the best, they’re very comforting and I’m glad I still have some from my childhood today :)

Mobile Games: Fun and also very convenient. You don’t have to get together so much equipment n’ controllers in order to play them and some of them are free to play!

Guinea Pigs: I’ve recently been very fond of guinea pigs, although I don’t have any right now. I just one day came upon a cute guinea pig vid on insta and it’s been downhill ever since. They’re very adorable! My fam likely won’t let me have any, but I’d hope that somewhere in the near future I can get my own pet guinea pigs!

I know I probably wasn’t meant to go in detail, but I just really felt like talking about stuff I enjoy :D

( @chithewitchofcuteness @that-one-crawlspace @lunar-lite1 @alectricblue @ariose-ghoul @dizzysoda101 @eldest-of-katts @gengar-neutral @rubilm @raines-here-lol )

#This took me. way to long to make lmao #I was supposed to have posted this this morning #i hate being slow lmao #*does a little dance* #get to know me #!!! #answered asks #asks

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Wed 2 June ‘21

Louis sent a message to a fan looking for a hello after a major surgery-- “Get well soon mate. Sending you loads of love x”- and added that he hopes ALL of us are doing alright; I never doubted it Louis! Niall got a little more specific with his really lovely message today- “HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. It’s your life, LOVE who you want to LOVE,” he tweeted! THANKS GUYS.

Liam though, Liam was all over today! He checked in on his way to play golf, on his way back from playing golf (with videographer Conor!), posted comments on discord, joined a new chat platform (Telegram; 5 minutes into Telegram and chill Liam was like OKAY it looks like we may need some moderators for this app lol YOU THINK?), he did a whole 25 min live, AND checked in even later to say he’d just had a shower and was about to play a new video game! New news of the day-- he is going to host a Veeps show showcasing new artists in July!! NEAT! His post about how his team forgot to turn off notifications on the phone they set it all up on for him on is really funny, YIKES; “this used to be an iphone now it’s just a bell” he joked, with video of the phone frantically chiming nonstop (“the power of you guys still blows my mind to this day”.) Also he said that he was very busy getting ready for June 15. Why, you ask, what is on June 15? UH? IDK?? He has so many things coming up? But that’s the NFT I think, which I KNOW a lot of people are mostly not that excited about but I will say that while I don’t care about the technology, I am excited to see Liam’s artwork he’s working on for it (which hopefully the purchaser will share with us), and Liam is truly so excited about the platform, he’s really trying to talk us into it. More on that in a sec...

But let’s get to the other parts of Liam’s live first. He has that new song coming, about which he said “it’s one that I’ve written the most on so far actually, as a single, I’m excited to say my own stuff for once a little”, love that. He’s still coughing but says he’s tested repeatedly and it isn’t COVID, and that he’s gone vegetarian recently, and he says the chat channels were inspired by seeing people using the veeps chat rooms even after the show ended, not wanting to leave. And he talks about 1D- about the notifs mishap he said “back in the band we used to wait for people we didn’t like to leave their notifications on and then we would like- oh make sure you follow this person on twitter! And then their phone would break for days- if someone did something that annoyed you.” HAHAHA where’s my masterpost of people who annoyed them 1D told us to follow, PLEASE? And also “it’s hard sometimes you’re watching people stories from afar that you used to know so well and that can be difficult… we’ve all felt this at different times me and the boys… it’s almost like missing a very dear friend a lot of the time but everyone’s so busy… I’d love to get us all in a room somewhere sometime” aww. But also he said he talked to Harry recently, “really a lovely call, he has a sixth sense for if I'm struggling or if one of us is in trouble, I spoke to him and it was a really lovely catch up. I have a lot of love for the man, he's really, really great"; well I wish Liam wasn’t stuggling but that’s lovely. And Louis too! "I spoke to Louis, I wanna say yesterday. We speak a lot, there's just a lot of laughing about random crap," he said, plus some Louis memories- “I can just hear his laugh in the back of my mind. We once broke into one of the stadiums in America and got chased by a woman… on one of those cop type things, a mall cop thing, and that was quite crazy. He also left me on my own while I was being arrested nearly by a French policemen that I had to push over… which that still scares me to this day. [laughing] That’s what friends are for! I helped him over the fence to get in somewhere, he left me with the policeman, who didn’t have a clue who I was and tried to arrest me even though I was just trying to go into my hotel.” UMM sorry I can’t hear anything past LIAM PUSHED OVER A COP?? Go ahead, make a list of ‘1D members most likely to fight a cop’ and if Liam isn’t DEAD LAST you’re just wrong and yet HERE WE ARE!! WHAT A DAY.

But alas rather than fighting cops now Liam is partnering with an entrepreneur (which I have had to type so many times in the last two days thanks to Liam that I guess I know how to spell it now they just keep SAYING it SO MUCH). Steve Bartlett said “the secret” is out, he recorded a podcast with Liam yesterday-- I’d call secret a bit strong, we had actually got that mate, but okay; he called Liam an entrepreneur and said “yesterday I recorded one of the most powerful, honest, REAL conversations on my podcast to date” and “if you love Liam you’ll love this.” I can absolutely guarantee you that is not true, I love Liam and already hate everything about this collab, but his wording does make me think we’ll get a bit of Liam’s trademark emotional spillage which I suppose I might appreciate despite this self help CEO guy being there too. Liam does have one thing to say that could sway me in this guy’s favor though- “he has the cutest dog ever” apparently! Anyway I may as well get used to him he’s suddenly everywhere-- Liam also patched him into his live to try yet again to convince us that NFTs are good by awkwardly relating it to “fans of boybands” by saying you know this could eliminate like fake tickets and such… Sure Steve sure but anyway he also says of Liam, “the guy you see on camera is the exact same guy off camera”.

Harry and Olivia were seen together in London (well, a grainy ass video of their backs was seen anyway), walking, with some people who look to be her parents and Harry’s PA (so romantic! Not at all work related!) I was initially skeptical of the claim that it was her parents since this fandom is obsessed with saying everyone is so and so’s parents (we’ll NEVER top the time the fandom was sure Harry was seen having lunch with Eleanor’s father though) but it actually seems like maybe it was. More for Harry to add to his collection, that man truly loves an extended family! I mean the whole thing is sketchy as hell, from the assurance that that’s DEFINITELY actually Olivia in the grainy video, FOR SURE, to the confirmation that that’s her mom with them which came when a blank insta page produced a random old picture of her mom in the same skirt, but like is it them, sure I imagine so, and people making sure we get the story anytime they’re together isn’t exactly new. In other news, Dave Meyers, director of the Adore You music video, says he originally pitched the Eroda story idea (“I have this idea, of you love- liking a fish”) to Katy Perry and the Black Eyed Peas, ASJKJASKL CAN YOU IMAGINE?

#Liam payne #holivia #harry styles #niall horan #louis tomlinson #2 jun 21 #the day we learned Liam fought a cop #HAPPY PRIDE INDEED #conor butler #liam has ALWAYS just spoken to louis yesterday but I totally belive him look at them doing all the same stuff #new artist showcase! this is totally them talking about this stuff #and he's totally the one that got Louis on the NFT thing #that's cute you guys now write some songs together again why don't you #I guess Harry could be tie for least likely to fight a cop #but like he wouldn't be out there talking about how great cops are which Liam definitely would #Liam is of course Most likely to be wasted enough for something like that to happen anyway #which I assume is what was the case

[parkers-gal]

Hey lovie, so Idk if you take requests but based on the other fic I read about Harrison having a baby sister and the boys talking behind her back can you write something about reader keeping her boyfriend a secret from the boys and she’s out with some friends and Harry sees the friends insta story and seeing reader in the corner on a boys lap and they Drive as fast a possible to the location to get haz babysister and being all protective around her like „what do you do on a random boys lap?“ and she’s like „uh, he’s my boyfriend.“

combing this with another request, hope u don’t mind :)

Hey! I've just read circles before selves and I loved it so much!! 😔 if you feel like it fits, could you write a part 2 where one of the boys has feelings for yn and really missed her during that time? Really angst? Thanks, bby! ❤❤

wc: 1.7 k

—

Through the week you’d ghosted the four of them, Tom had probably been affected the most. Being your brother’s best friend, he was very much intertwined with your life, which meant he was just as dependent on you as he was on Harrison.

The night after their apology in your apartment, Tom had come over with more take out and one of his hoodies on his arm.

“Hey… Tom?” You were surprised by his presence, standing in the doorway of the front entrance, Tom on your patio. “What’s up?”

“Can I- uh… Can I talk to you?” “Sure…” You’re still confused, but nevertheless, open the door wider for him.

Tom has always been your protector in a different way than Harrison’s ‘older-brother protective mode.’ He’s genuinely cared about your well-being, and tended to keep you out of the public’s eyes despite you not being a celebrity. He was there when you needed a ride home in the rain, and he was there when your ex-boyfriend had cheated on you with your best friend. He was there, angrily, supportively, encouragingly. Sure, he gave you butterflies, but you as another rule of the circle goes, siblings are off limits. Nobody had ever broken the rule, and you suspected Tom wasn’t here to break it either, so you dropped the thoughts from your mind, attention resorting back to the brunette in front of you.

“What’s happening?” You’re awkwardly sitting on the couch beside him until the tension fades away into nothingness. It’s never like this between the two of you, but you’re picking apart the context, pointing out in your head his demeanor — and why this time feels different.

“I, erhm,” He clears his throat. “I really missed you those past two weeks.”

“Aww,” You jutt a lip out, assuming that’s all he’s here for. Restoring those lost cuddles, huh? “I really missed you, too.” “That’s… not exactly what I mean.”

“Okay…” You lean back a bit in defeat. “What do you mean, then?”

“I mean… I’ve had feelings for you for a while.” He’s blushing profusely, scratching the back of his neck out of nervousness. Your eyes widen and he’s quick to continue, not wanting to shock you too much. “And- And I know it’s so fucking cliche — your brother’s best friend likes you — and I know that we have that stupid rule about not going out with your best friend’s siblings but I just… I don’t want to go away on- on… business or something and come back and you’re somebody else’s girl.”

You can’t help but let a grin take over your face. You can feel yourself heating up, hands coming to block your face from his view, trying to save your dignity and keep the embarrassment to a minimum despite him spilling his heart out right in front of you.

“Do… do you feel the same way?” You bite your lip before picking your head up. He’s so innocent — so sweet and so gentle and tender and pure with his words — and the glint of hope in his eyes could make your heart burst. It doesn’t, but instead flutters faster, wings flapping as it prepares to take flight. You’re afraid of where it’s going, but you decide to let it fly right in the hands of the boy standing in front of you.

“I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same way.” You confess it sheepishly. Tom’s quick to grow redder, ears turning a scarlet shade.

“The- the same way?”

“Yeah,” You breathe out a laugh. “I have feelings for you, too.” “That’s…” He trails off with a smile before remembering the hoodie he has in his hands. “Do you, uh- do you wanna be my girlfriend?” He holds the article of clothing out as an offer, widening your grin as you stand with a nod. “Yeah,” You take the hoodie from him, slipping it on smoothly. His smirk grows at the sight of you in his clothing. “You’ll be my boyfriend?”

He rolls his eyes jokingly, laughing with a happy smile. “Yeah.”

That is how you ended up here, at a bar with a few of your friends. Aisha and her girlfriend sit on your right — you’re on the inside of the crowded booth, sitting atop Tom’s lap to save space and to nuzzle closer to him. He’d told his brothers and yours that he was going up north to Manchester for the weekend.

In reality, he was secretly staying in your apartment, which was a few miles from the flat he shared with Harrison and the twins. The two of you were downtown right now, dressed for clubbing despite only downing a few shots. He’s dressed a bit differently than from his normal ‘clubbing’ outfits — you style him in dark grey slacks and a mesh shirt. His hair was slightly messy but hotter than ever, and your fingers constantly took a trip through the strands of curls, massaging his scalp while he groaned occasionally.

(Yeah fuck me, that esquire picture fucked me up for days.)

He’s holding a beer, now, one hand on your waist. Your legs are splayed across his lap, ass on his thigh comfortably while an arm wraps around the back of his neck. It’s comfortable — and intimate, but neither of you mind. It’s barely nine o’clock, and Aisha had insisted on paying for one of those stupid clubbing games. A waiter had brought the drinks over, and now each of you were going around to answer the questions as best they could with the amount of alcohol in their veins.

The two girls across from you were drinking the most, but Aisha’s girlfriend, Iridessa, was designated driver for the night, so the rest of your friend group was fine with getting wasted.

“Time for a cute pic,” Andrea announced, beckoning the cute waiter over for a favor. He took the picture on your Instagram, handing it back to you while you posted it to your story in seconds.

Your pose against Tom was cozy, and his face was hidden in the crook of your neck — you remember this fact very well, because he’d left a few open-mouthed kisses against your skin in the middle of the picture. His hair was different, and you hoped the only correlation between him and the boy your brother knew was that his lanky fingers were gripping a glass of beer.

Within a matter of minutes, each of Tom’s brothers — and your own — were replying to the post of you cuddled up with a ‘mysterious boy.’ They were currently discussing it in the Instagram groupchat, and Tom was trying to act as surprised, but he was being vague, too preoccupied with the girl in his lap.

You clicked the off button, setting your phone down on the wooden table, deciding to let them chatter away and deciphering who you were with and why. That was a mistake, because they had decided to talk about it in their kitchen, eventually deciding to drive down to the bar you were at. It was only a fifteen minute drive — what was the harm?

You were caught off guard by the door swinging open, emerging three boys searching for you. You gasped, alerting Tom and Aisha that if they did see you, your relationship would be outed. You tried to hide away in the booth, go as unnoticed as possible. You saw them go to the back of the bar, where more people were located, and breathed out in relief. They wouldn’t be leaving that room anytime soon — it was too crowded.

You remained in your seat, joining the game normally again. You missed the way Harrison had gasped, eyes widening as he pointed to you for the twins to see. They came practically marching over to your booth to get a better look at the brown-haired boy whose lap you were seated in.

“Y/N?” Harrison asked, another gasp escaping. “Tom?!” Your jaw dropped open, eyebrows raising against your forehead. You felt Tom’s hand squeeze your waist in acknowledgement — in protectiveness — and you tried to act as normal as possible.

“Hi.” You spoke meekly, something Harrison had rolled his eyes at.

“Tom?!” Harry was just as surprised. “You’re supposed to be in Manchester! For the weekend!” “Right…” He laughed sheepishly. “Surprise? I’m sorry, I lied.” He tried again, noticing Harrison’s jaw tense, clenching and unclenching.

“You’re…. You’re with my baby sister?!”

Tom nibbled his bottom lip and you placed a calming hand on his chest. “Guys, don’t freak out. You’re gonna cause a scene.” You eyed them. “Especially you, Haz.” He shifted on his feet, dominantly leaning on his right one.

“You’re breaking rule number two.”

You didn’t falter as you responded, without missing a beat. “You broke rule number one, first.”

He didn’t answer, and you could sense Aisha and Iridessa were awkwardly sitting between you and the boys. The tension was thicker than you thought it’d be, so you decided to speak again, filling the silence before Harrison had a breakdown in front of everyone.

“Look, can we just talk about this later? I’m with people right now, I can’t really have this conversation here.”

“Fine.” Harrison agreed, but he sneered closer to Tom, eyes crisp and jaw tight. “But you’re not off the hook, Tommy.”

Tom nodded nonchalantly, sipping his beer before replying. “Do you mind? My girl and I are a bit busy.”

You bit your lip at his words, knees weakening and stomach erupting in butterflies. This boy-

That seemed to tick Harrison off in a teasing way before they finally left the bar. You exhaled in relief, gasping at Tom. “That’s literally saying something to my dad like ‘you’re not the only daddy anymore!’” You compared the instances. “You’re a cheeky bastard.” You slapped his shoulder. Tom let out a loud laugh, chuckling while his hand rubbed up and down your side. “You know Harrison’s still gonna be pissed, though.” You sighed and Tom pouted, kissing your nose to grab your attention.

“It’s gonna be okay, alright?” You nodded, a bit unconvinced, and Tom clicked his tongue. “Trust me?”

You nodded again, faithfully, and he smirked, squeezing your hip again. You brought his hand to you, guiding the glass to your lips and sipping his beer. He watched you through hooded eyelids, tongue running across his bottom lip, across his teeth. You could see his pupils dilate, and you smirked from behind the cup, fingers slipping from his hand with a small smirk, turning back to the girls and continuing the game just as you had before.

#tom holland x osterfield!reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland smutty #tom holland fic #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fluffy #tom holland imagine #tom holland oneshot #tom holland blurb #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland smut #tom holland angst #tom x reader

[bostongirl13]

New Dodger photo bonus

Summary: You're riding Chris on the couch.

Words: 1k+

Warnings: age gap, smut, mistakes, fluff

Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

"Aww .... Dodger!" Chris shouted, which immediately caught your attention.

You waited a moment and when no other sounds were coming you went back to your notes. However, after a few minutes, a notification popped up on your phone saying Chris posted something on Instagram. You rolled your eyes because you knew it was going to be another Dodger photo. And you were right. As soon as you opened the app and checked the insta story, a huge smile appeared on your face. You were the happiest girl in the world to have had these two handsome men in your life.

You felt something wet on your thigh, so you turned your head away from the monitor screen. Dodger was standing next to you, head cocked.

"Hey Bubba" you patted his head. "Shouldn't you be hanging out with Dad now?" the dog barked and went to lie down on his bed. You shook your head and stretched in your chair. You didn't even know it was so late. You spent all morning and afternoon in office doing college stuff.

"Hey pretty girl," Chris said when he saw you walking towards him. "How's study going?"

"Fine, but I think that's enough for today." you walked over to him and stood between his legs.

Chris is looking at you slowly, eyes from top to bottom, slowly tracing your curves and licking his lips feeling his pants starting to tighten as he saw you in his T-shirt and a pair of black panties. He bit his lower lip and lifted his hand against your thigh. You got what he meant so you smiled seductively and sat on his lap with your legs on either side of his hips, placing your hands on his shoulders. Chris's hands were immediately on your hips and pulled you closer.

"Yeah, get comfy?" he smirks and you laughed lightly “Yeah, you are”

AUDIO 

You moved your hips just enough to feel the friction where you needed it. Chris's fingers tightened around your hips, probably leaving bruises in those areas. You licked your lips in eager anticipation, as you felt his cock hardening, even more, when you moved once again.

"Stop teasing me, Princess," Chris growled. You smiled innocently and approached, running a cat's lick across his mouth. "Really?" he laughed.

You moved your hands from his arms to his cheeks and pulled him closer and then leans down, running your tongue over his bottom lip, kissing him with hunger and need. He pushed his tongue into your mouth, slanting his lips over yours, deepening the kiss, his beard scraping over your face.

Continuing to kiss, you slipped one hand between your bodies and pinched your fingers on its bulge, massaging it. You unbuckled his pants and slipped them off enough to free his cock. You felt him pulsate under your fingers. Teasing his tip, made Chris sigh. Your lips were still working together when you wrapped your fingers around his shaft and began working it up and down. He broke the kiss and tilted his head back to moan in pleasure. Your hand tighten ed and worked faster.

"Stop. I want to be inside you" he growled.

He swallowed loudly and moved his hand with his thumb, massaging your clit.

"So wet" this time a moan escaped your lips.

He pushed your panties aside and helped you slide down.

“Fuck, you're so big”

You waited a while getting used to his size and began to move up and down, slowly searching for your rhythm. Chris tightened his fingers on your hips to help you with this and pulling you further on his cock, you put your hands on his shoulders to keep your balance. You moved faster and more confidently as Chris's lips attacked your neck, sucking it and leaving marks on it. You were into it more now, riding him and making almost pornographic moans.

“Yeah… Fuck.. Ah... Chris!” you scream as you juices spilled all over his length.

You hated how quickly he brought you to that state, and you loved it too, knowing that no man could ever make you that way. Chris destroyed you for other men. But there wasn't even a question here that you'll ever be with someone else, you were his and he was yours.

Your clit pressing against his pelvis, you screamed when his cock hits the right spot within you. You grabbed him by the hair pulling him away from your neck, which was already covered in marks and bites. He smirks and smacks your ass, chuckling at your whimper.

"I can't stay long, I gonna cum" you gasped looking into his eyes. You’re getting closer, your cunt tightening around him and sweat ran down your forehead.

"Don't hold back baby. I'm right behind you. Let it go."

Your movements frenetic, wavering when he softly rubs your clit. His sinful eyes watching your face contorted in pleasure. He wrapped an arm around your back and pulling you closer to him.

“Fuck baby. You milking my cock so well,” he growls in your ear.

His hand slipping between your bodies drawing small tight circles around your clit.

“Chris!” you scream out your release, cum on his cock hard. Not long after that, you felt Chris cum inside you painting your walls with his creamy seed.

You both sank into the back of the couch, panting heavily. You rested your forehead against his shoulder, your body limp against his chest. It took a long time to recover and catch your breath.

"You're so beautiful when you cum on my cock" you laughed lightly and rose to meet his eyes which were still full of lust.

You were still connected and sensitive, so this little movement made you both sigh.

"I love you"

"I love you too, princess," Chris brushed your hair back from your sweaty face and kissed your nose, "the most in the world."

You bit your lower lip, feeling it grow hard inside you again.

"Next round?" you raised your eyebrows with a smile.

"You're killing me" he growled and attacked your lips again.

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chrisevans #chrisvid #dodger #new dodger photo #dodger evans #chris evans smut #chris evans x y/n #my writing

[tsukishumai]

pairing: miya atsumu x f!reader

tags: fluff, strangers to lovers

word count: 2.2k

Summary: You think of all the different versions you get of Atsumu throughout the day

Nights with Atsumu were unpredictable. Your heart always skipped a beat whenever you received one of his “are you free tonight?” texts, excitement never failing to course through your veins.

Miya Atsumu was an adventure.

He had been that way from the very first night you met him, crashing into him at a music festival your friends had dragged you to.

You had been lost for the past hour - separated from your group when you had mistakenly taken the wrong turn while trying to look for the restrooms. You’ve tried calling them time and time again, but the sheer amount of people at the event must have been doing something to the phone lines. None of your calls or texts were going through.

You mumbled a hurried apology, and you could practically feel the way he raked his gaze over your appearance. Though, there was nothing presentable about your current state; your hair (previously curled and styled carefully) was pulled up into a messy bun, dirt from the festival grounds stained your shoes and pants, and the expression on your face was nothing short of stressed.

“You lost, hun?” He had asked. While you would usually cringe at the pet name coming from a strangers mouth, the slight drawl of his accent made it sound sweet, and you couldn’t help but nod.

“It’s my first time coming to this festival - I have no idea where anything is.”

He nodded in understanding. “It can get pretty confusing if ya don’t know what you’re looking for,” he sighed out, reaching a hand out for you to take, “Come on, I’ll help you find em.”

Even then, having known the man for merely two minutes, you were never hesitant in taking his hand.

He quickly told his own group of the current situation, setting up a meet up spot for the end of the night in case Atsumu wasn’t able to find his way back to them in time.

(That was smart. You guys should have done that.)

You wondered why the blonde boy bothered to take the time out of his night to help you. Hadn’t he spent his own money to be here with his friends?

When you had asked him this question, he simply shrugged. “It wouldn’t be right of me to leave a beautiful girl all alone and lost in this huge festival now, would it?”

You didn’t find your friends for the rest of the night. You had instead spent it with Atsumu, jumping from stage to stage, claiming “maybe we’ll find them there?” but really, his favorite artist was up and he didn’t really want to miss it.

It shocked you how natural it felt to be with him; easy conversation flowed naturally, and the initial mission of his company was quickly forgotten, replaced instead with the dizzying thrill of his fingers wrapped around your wrist to make sure he didn’t lose you in the crowd.

“This is my favorite band,” he yelled into your ear, twirling you in circles as you danced along to the beat pummeling out of the speakers.

“I can see why!” You smiled at him, and the freedom you were feeling in that moment, dancing with a stranger that was quickly becoming a friend, was a better high than any drug.

Atsumu couldn’t dance at all - this was something you had pointed out during the second set you had watched together - but there was something in the way he just stuck his tongue out at you and continued to flail his limbs in some semblance of a rhythm with such confidence that you couldn’t help but find charming.

“Y/N!”

The frantic crying of your name made you whip your head around, and you see your best friend running over to you.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

You let your best friend scold you for going missing for four hours, pushing down the feeling of embarrassment as Atsumu snickered at you.

“Thanks for keeping me company,” you said, turning to him one last time before finally joining your original pack.

“Anytime,” he smiled, then pulled his phone out of his pocket before handing it to you, “Mind returning the favor some day?”

The grin on your face was brighter than any of the lights surrounding the stage, quickly entering your number and saving it.

It wasn’t even two days after the festival before you received your first invitation out from Atsumu.

There were nights when he took you out to his favorite bar on a Thursday night because shots were 2-for-1 on Thursdays. The two of you would always run into more than one for Atsumu’s friends, and you were more than happy to allow them to indulge you in one or two embarrassing stories of Atsumu. The smile on your face grew wider each time his blush would deepen, and you didn’t know you could find him more endearing than you already do.

There were nights when he would whisk you away to a secret spot in a part of the city you had never been to. “It’s a little bit of a hike,” he’d warn you. You’d have half a mind to reprimand him for letting you wear your new shoes knowing the path would be dirty, but you were shut up by the views. Atsumu came prepared with a blanket to lay down on, taking out snacks and drinks from the backpack he was carrying. Your heart clenched at his thoughtfulness, laying down to stare at the stars peppering the sky. “The moon looks really full,” you said. “Yeah, just like my heart is for you,” he cooed. You would share a laugh, shoving him slightly, but hoping with everything that he meant it.

There were nights when he would take you to visit his brother’s onigiri shop. He would always take you either at closing time or after, ensuring that the three of you had the place to yourself. You could feel this to be some sort of test - test of what, you weren’t sure but you knew you wanted to pass it. Osamu would bring out off the menu flavors, using the two of you as his test subjects. You and Atsumu would exaggerate your judgements, commenting as if you were judges on Top Chef. “The consistency of the rice provided a good mouth feel,” you commented, rubbing a hand on your chin. “The flavors meld together perfectly, creating a refined taste suitable for any palate,” Atsumu replies, and the two of you would burst out laughing, Osamu rolling his eyes and asking you to be serious.

It was after one of those nights, belly and heart full from the nonstop eating and laughing. Atsumu walked you all the way up to your door, saying it’s much too late for you to be on your own. With your key in the door, you turned to say your good bye, only to be met by the softness of atsumu’s lips.

Nights were when Miya Atsumu let you into his world.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Afternoons were rarely spent with Atsumu.

You would think that sharing an apartment with the blonde setter would afford you more quality time, but he mostly spent his afternoons chasing his dreams.

You’ll never forget the afternoon the two of you had found out he had made onto his first pro-volleyball team; he was officially an MSBY Jackal. Happy tears were shed, on your part, but more so on his. Excitement stamped all over his face as he claimed he still had so much work to do.

You never held it against him when he came home late at night, the only interaction you’d have would be the kiss he placed on your forehead before climbing into his side of the bed. You didn’t mind that even though you were now living together, this was the most time you two would spend apart. It wasn’t like you were just waiting around; you had a job you loved and were dedicated to.

He never let you missed him too much, though.

“Are we almost there?” Atsumu gasped out, and you just threw your head back and laughed.

“What’s wrong? I thought volleyball players were supposed to have monstrous thighs or whatever?”

Atsumu grumbled. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t exhausting to scale a damn mountain!”

“Always so dramatic,” you mused, skipping ahead of him on the trail. Atsumu had a rare day off from practice, and insisted on doing whatever you wanted for the day. He was hoping you were going to say ‘let’s cuddle and stay in!’ Or ‘I want to go to that cafe I saw on Insta!’

But no, you went with “I want to go on a hike!”

It was his own fault, really. Ever since he would take you to look at the stars, you made it your mission to find all the little gems in your city.

“I swear to god, I’m gonna faint,” Atsumu placed the back of his hand on his forehead, “Please tell me we’re almost to the top!”

You grabbed his hand, pulling him up the last few steps of the trail.

“Ta da,” you sang out, out stretching your arms to present the view from the top.

Atsumu took on a deep breath and looked at the view. From the top of the trail, all that surrounded the two of you was the color green. Green leaves from towering trees that covered the face of the mountains that surrounded you. Green shrubs that littered around the forest floor, creating a lush carpet of foliage that stretched as far as you could see. In the space between the mountain ranges, Atsumu could see a hint of the ocean that lies beyond, and he could almost taste the salty air that always made his hair wavy.

The beauty of the earth surrounded him, reminding him of life flourishing all around, and all he could really look at was you.

The color of your eyes that sparkled like uncut gems when caught by the golden rays of the sun that was now nearing its highest peak in the sky could rival the most vibrant green nature could produce. The smile on your face was more blinding than the summer sun. All he could see was the beauty of the love that he knows only you could give him.

Afternoons were rarely spent with Atsumu, but he’s thankful for every chance he gets to be part of your world.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Mornings with Miya Atsumu were lazy, and intimate.

The habit of early mornings were hard to break, and regardless of whether you set an alarm or not, the both of you would stir awake at the crack of dawn.

You could feel Atsumu’s heated breath on the back of your neck as he wrapped an arm around your waist. “Good morning,” he would mumble, voice still thick with last nights sleep, dripping into your ears like fresh honey.

“Good morning,” you would reply back, turning around to bury your face into his chest. You loved the way he would always pull you closer, as if there was no wya you could be close enough, trying to fuse you into his own body. You don’t care that you can’t really breathe in this position - there was no where else you would rather be.

Though you were willing to stay that way forever, it was only a matter of time before life interrupts peace and demands to be lived. After a few more soft kisses placed on any bare skin lips could get too, maybe a few fingers brushing through your rats nest of a hair, Atsumu always was the first get up out of bed. You’d try to beg him for a few more minutes, but he’d make you laugh and say “I’d love to doll, but my bladders bout to burst all over our sheets,” and you can’t do anything but laugh and let him go.

Atsumu always showered first since his days started earlier, and you would make your way downstairs to make coffee for the both of you. You usually drank it black, but you made Atsumu’s with a little extra cream. He never asks you to, but you always packed him a lunch and snacks to take to practice, leaving little notes with words of affirmation to get him through the day. The look of pure admiration and love you get when you simply hand him a lunch box, thermos, a peck on the lips, and a prayer for safety; you think this must be true happiness.

You walk back up to the bathroom to start your morning routine, and feel warmth spread all over when you see that he’s set up your toothbrush on the sink with a glob of toothpaste on top and a little cup of mouthwash prepared and ready for you to use.

You loved Miya Atsumu at all hours of the day, but mornings just might be your favorite.

In the morning, Miya Atsumu was just for you.

#miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu #atsumu x you #atsumu x y/n #Miya #atsumu fluff #Miya Atsumu fluff #Miya Atsumu scenarios #Miya Atsumu headcanons #Miya Atsumu x reader #Miya Atsumu x you #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu!! scenarios #haikyuu x reader #hq hc #hq #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #hq!!

[cixthotshit]

Gon Gonie

Pairing: Lee Byounggon/BX x Original Female Character|Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, just a drop of Angst, College/University AU, Friends to Lover (established)

Summary: Getting BX to see that she had a crush on him was a lot more work than Piti had thought it would be

Word count: 4.3k

Rating/Warnings: Mature / Explicit Sexual Content: Porn With A Sprinkling of Plot, Kissing, Nipple Play, MtF Vaginal Sex

Author’s Note: This is a sister fic to an NCT fic of mine at my NCT fic blog. You don't have to read the original fic to get into this one, don't worry! You can read this as a stand alone one shot fic. But if you're here cuz you read my Yuta fic first, OK, I didn't plan to write this, but I couldn't help myself. I love BX and I had a lot of fun writing this! Sorry if I have any grammar mistakes, I try my best when proofreading but things always slip through. I always appreciate some feedback on my writings!

Piti tucked a little of her yellow tshirt under her left boob, the underside of her breasts were sweaty. She bent down under her desk to check the connection of her computer and webcam before reaching behind her to pull her cotton pink shorts down. It was riding up her left butt cheek. Her fuzzy pink slippers made her toes sweaty, so she kicked them off, letting them roll over toward her wooden coffee table.

“I mean, I think I did it right,” she said, glancing behind her to see BX adjusting the lighting to the lamp she’d purchased 2 weeks previously. “If I can’t stream tonight, I’ll just tell Willa that I wasn’t meant to be a CamGirl. It sounds like such easy money.”

“You already have a big following on Insta,” he replied. “I thought you had sponsorships.”

“They don’t always pay,” she said, sitting on her desk chair. “Thanks for trying to help. I didn’t know who else to call.”

“No problem,” he said, his eyes fixed on the lighting in her living room. “At least you’re nice to me.”

“Suchin’s mean to you too?” Piti asked, laughing. BX had always received fairer treatment from Piti’s elder sister, but BX was much kinder to Suchin than Piti ever was. It was unfair for Suchin to be mean to BX.

“She’s been mean to everyone,” he answered. He sighed, pulling his phone out of the back pocket of his skinny jeans. His eyes were glued to the screen as he sat down onto her baby blue couch. “She says that she’s stressed. I’m stressed too, you know?”

“What’s up?” Piti asked, walking away from her desk, which was set up beside the door to her balcony. She walked to the couch that sat beside her desk.

Sitting down next to BX, Piti took his left hand into her hands. There was a Bandaid wrapped around the top knuckle of his middle finger. She grinned, remembering when they’d FaceTimed in the morning. He’d cut his finger while cutting up an apple. For as long as she’d known him, he was prone to accidents.

They met when she transferred to a new university the previous year. He had always been her older sister’s friend, but she got along well enough with him that she could text or call him to ask about tech issues she had. Pressing her lips together to moisten the corners of her bottom lip, Piti had to admit that he’d become more than just her go-to tech person in the recent months.

Since starting his Film Studies, BX had come into contact with Piti more. He was filming partners with her sister. She was often trying to get Suchin’s attention, mostly asking her for help. Suchin had been busy directing and interviewing subjects for her documentary, so BX had become more reliable. He’d been the one to talk her through clearing out the clogged sink in her kitchen while he cleaned up the flesh wound on his middle finger.

His head rested against the back of the couch with his fingers half hidden behind the loose sleeves of his oversized grey sweater. His eyes remained glued onto his phone when she ran the tips of her fingers against his palm. Piti swallowed air as her eyes remained fixed on BX’s tongue licking his lips. The red of his lips reminded her of the Thai chili peppers she’d put into the curry she made for dinner. Her tongue burned with a sharp heat, remembering how hot the curry had been.

“I know our professor sucks,” he spoke up, his damp lips glistening under the lamp light. She released his hand, realizing he didn’t care what she was doing to his hand. The shaggy fabric of her periwinkle throw pillow cushioned her lower back as she rested her back against the couch. “I don’t know if film school is working out. Maybe I should have gone for medical studies. Do something in social sciences.”

“You’re still young,” she said, grabbing his hand again, giving it a squeeze.

His tone had sounded tired, more like he was thinking out loud instead of having an actual conversation with a human being, a very cute one too. Piti would remember never to give Film Studies a try if she wanted to keep her stress levels low. She bounced in her seat when he squeezed her hand back. Their eyes locked, and she gave him a half grin.

“You can change your career path whenever you want. Why do you think I want to give OnlyFans a try? I don’t know how long I’ll be this cute with such pretty tits.”

He gave a dry chuckle, his eyes returning to the illuminating light of his phone. His mouth was frozen into a handsome grin. Piti ran her free hand through her hair to stop herself from reaching out to touch the dimple on his cheek. She shifted herself to brush her chest against his arm, her heartbeat thumping rapidly up her back.

“Thanks for helping me,” she said, shifting her eyes to peer toward him. His eyes were lidded as he seemed to be reading something on his phone. “You help me out so much.”

“Come on,” he said before giving a scoff, tutting his tongue against the back of his teeth. His grin widened as his eyes returned to meet hers. “Of course. Any time.”

“Can I help you with anything?” she asked. She squeezed his hand again. “I’m sorry you’re stressed.”

“Thanks for listening to me complain,” he said, setting his phone down on the armchair.

“Please,” she said, rolling her eyes, pressing herself closer to him, “that’s hardly anything. Um, BX?” She squeezed his hand again. His face seemed to be coming in closer. The scent of Coke was infiltrating her nose as the warmth of his breath tingled her lips. “Do you think I’m cute?”

His lips touched hers, and she shut her eyes. Her entire face flared up in prickling heat. Her mind could only form curse words together as they flashed behind her eyelids in bold red letters. An overwhelming pressure built up in her chest, making her sinuses tingle uncomfortably.

He wrapped her into his arms, his hold warming her up. She broke their kiss, placing her hands onto his shoulders as she gave out a sob. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Piti?” he asked, barely above a whisper. “Am I a bad kisser?”

“No, silly,” she replied, snorting a sob when she inhaled a breath. She shut her eyes as BX gave out a belly laugh. She groaned as she threw her face into his chest, fisting her hands into his sweater. “I like you so much, BX.”

Her voice was muffled, but she was completely embarrassed, unable to look up. She’d never liked anyone as much as she liked BX. When she’d realized that she liked him she did her usual flirting tactics. She put in extra effort into her looks when she met with him, such as when she called him to ask for assistance to set up her new webcam. It never failed to get her hookups’ attention whenever she was looking her most desirable.

Her yellow top was old, so the fabric was loose and slightly transparent. The hole at the hem near the left side of her hip was supposed to be tantalizing, she certainly always ran her fingers to play with the fabric there. The soft yellow and pink together made Piti feel like she was a colorful candy, ready to be unwrapped. But he seemed immune, uninterested.

“And it makes you sad?” BX said, his tone going low. His hold on her loosened.

She looked up at him, and the nerves in her jaw lit up, sending a warm sensation down the front of her throat. His gaze was soft, his lips barely parted. Tilting her head up, she gave a sniffle before kissing him. She shut her eyes, furrowing her eyebrows as she opened her mouth to capture his luscious bottom lip between hers. His tongue licked her lips, making her insides squirm like fish caught in a net.

“I like you,” she said again, pulling away from his kiss, the inside of her ears burning up. She’d never wanted to be the first person to admit to having feelings or attraction, but she knew there was more to her attraction to him than physical attraction. “I’ve been putting on my cutest clothes. I always make sure my hair is all bouncy and curly. And like, you never look at me.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, his dimple deepened as he smiled widely, touching his forehead to hers. “My mind’s been focused on the doc.” He paused. She shut her eyes as the warmth of his hand cupping her cheek sent a shiver down her back. “Holy shit, Piti. You like me?”

She opened her eyes and felt goosebumps form along her arms. His gaze was soft, and his eyes slowly drifted down her neck to her body. When his eyes met hers again she nodded gently.

“I’ve never wanted like, a boyfriend,” she confessed, her cheeks hot and her nipples hardened as heat surged down to her stomach, “but I don’t even know how many nights I’ve been going to bed thinking about you. And like, when you finally kissed me, like, I’m so embarrassed. I want you to like me back so much.”

“How can I not like you?” he asked. His thumb caressed her cheek, making her body warm up. He gave her a chaste kiss. “You’re always feeding me those rice balls with tuna. You thank me for the smallest things. We made that study playlist together and we split the songs up evenly. You’re the sweetest person I know.``

His hand touched her hip, massaging her before sliding it down to touch her thigh. She shook as his fingertips touched the bare skin of her inner thigh. His touch made her nerves light up in erratic flames, his fingers soft like silk. Her shaggy throw pillow was making her butt sweaty, but she didn’t want to break the mood by reaching behind her to toss a purple pillow aside. Every word out of his lips made her insides warm.

“You’ve got the most beautiful body, the softest skin, kissable lips.”

“Keep going,” she whispered, pressing herself closer to him.

“It’s brave that you live on your own,” he said, “and you’re never afraid to ask for help, either.” She pecked his lips. She’d wondered for weeks what he thought of her. Hearing him speak of her in nothing but positives filled her whole body with a comforting warmth. “Your confidence makes you hot, and lovely.”

“You’re like, the perfect guy,” she said, raking her fingers through his hair. His cheeks flushed and she planted wet kisses onto his cheek and neck. He laughed, his hands pulling her into his lap. “I’m serious, BX. You’re so patient, and like, you’re so caring to me. And you’re a beautiful man.” He groaned, shutting his eyes. She planted a kiss onto his left eyelid. “Your eyes are so pretty when you smile.” She kissed the tip of his nose. “Your nose is cute.” She kissed his cheek. “Your skin is so much clearer than mine.” He chuckled. “Your lips are perfect.”

He kissed her, his tongue pushing against her lips. She opened her mouth and pushed her tongue against his. He groaned into her mouth, and she gripped onto his shoulders tightly as she felt a hand grope the inside of her thigh. He tasted like sugar and salt, the familiar blend of Coke and McDonalds fries filling up her senses.

“Fuck, you’re so bold,” she breathed out when she broke their kiss, the mixture of their saliva leaving a wet trail down her chin. She moaned, looking down at BX’s hand push up against her groin. His thumb pressed against the hood of her clit, and her hand shot down to grip onto his wrist. “Byounggon -”

“Gon, call me Gon,” he demanded, pushing his hand up and down against her slit. Red heat blinded her.

“Gon,” she said with a loud exhale. Blinking, she threw her fingers up to cover her smile as his cheeks flushed again, his head bowing down. His thumb drew circles against her, sending waves of heat deep inside, making her buck her hips. “Gon, oh my God!”

She gasped and bucked her hips again. His fingers slipped under her shorts, and she felt a hot flash of pride wash over her body. He’d grinned as he glanced up at her, feeling that she hadn’t worn any panties. Two of his fingers slid against her folds, applying pressure as they dragged upwards, making goosebumps form along her back and up her arms. Her grip on his wrist tightened as she looked up at him, his gaze drifting up to look her in the eyes.

“How do you worship your God?” he asked, his smile widening as he pressed his forehead against hers. “Calling me out already, that’s cute.”

“Gon,” she said, her cheeks hot. “Are you teasing me?”

“You don’t like it?” he asked. His hand slid away from her core, making her insides shake.

“Don’t stop,” she said, her grip on his wrist tightening again as she pressed her fingers against his hand.

“Hey, there’s a special word that you didn’t use,” he said, his smile disappearing.

“Gon?”

She closed her eyes as he kissed her, his tongue warming her lips once more. His hand slipped away from her hold, moving to caress her hip. Throwing her hands up to his chest, she pushed him off as she opened her eyes.

“‘Please,’ is the special word,” he said, looking down at her, his eyes barely open. “I know you can be a brat, Piti, but I don’t tolerate brattiness well, not when my dick is involved.”

She gave a shy chuckle, biting her bottom lip when his eyes drifted down her body. His finger pinched the fabric of her top near her left breast, and tugged down. Piti felt the folded fabric slip away from the underside of her boob, and she smiled, feeling her cheeks flush.

“That’s been bugging me,” he said, his hand sliding under her shirt. She pressed closer to him as his hand warmed her up, making her body shiver with his touch. “Your tits are distracting.”

“I know they’re cute.”

“Let’s see how cute,” he replied, grinning. His fingers grasped onto the front hem of her shirt and pulled it up. He groped her left breast, his fingers pinching her nipple. Her core flared with a deep heat, and she squeezed her thighs together. “If you become a CamGirl, you better charge top dollar. Your tits...your breasts...titties of a Goddess.”

“You’re such a cornball,” she said with a chuckle, scrunching up her face as she shut her eyes. He gave a gentle, low guffaw. A wet, slick sensation pushed up against her right nipple, and her gut felt a hot pressure release heat into her body as a sharp pinch hit her nipple.

She opened her eyes and raked her fingers through BX’s hair, watching him lick and suck on her breasts. As his mouth moved to her right breast, he fondled her left with his hand. She moaned out his name, pulling him closer against her. His body felt so good against hers, she wanted to melt into him.

“Want to fuck?” she asked, cupping his face into her hands. She pulled him up to look at her face, forcing his tongue away from her hardened nipple. “Please, Gon?”

He gave a gentle chuckle as he tilted his head down to plant a kiss onto the side of her neck. She shut her eyes, savoring the deep, calming heat his lips gave to her body every time he kissed her. She ran her fingers through his hair again. A low groan reverberated into the center of her chest as he kissed her there.

“Should we take things into the bedroom?” he said softly, making her face flush as he sat up straight. He pulled her body up against his. He touched her chin with his thumb and forefinger, pulling her face close to his.

“Yes, please,” she answered, nodding before he gave her a gentle kiss. Her body lit up, and she pulled forward, deepening their kiss.

He broke the kiss, and caressed her cheek with his thumb as he cupped her face with one hand.

“You’re cute when you say please.”

She took a deep inhale of breath as her hand reached to touch his groin. He groaned, and then tilted his head down to kiss her. They groaned into each other’s mouths as she applied pressure onto his cock, rubbing up and down his growing erection. One of his hands grabbed her breast, squeezing it and flicking her engorged nipple.

Pushing him away, she stood up as she took her top off. She slipped her shorts off and tilted her head to her left before turning away from BX to walk to her room. She bit her bottom lip as she heard him get off her couch, the sounds of his belt buckle unfastening ringing loudly in the quiet apartment. She giggled, trotting to her room as she heard the heavy steps of BX’s behind her.

“Really?” he said with a huff. “You’re going to make me chase you?”

“You’re so stressed you didn’t even see me showing my ass off to you,” she called out behind her as she jumped into her bed, the springs to her mattress squeaking as she reached to her night stand to turn the lamp on.

“I’m sorry,” he said, walking into her room with his sweater in his hands. He stopped at the foot of her bed, tossing his sweater to the floor. Her cheeks flushed and she felt adrenaline rush up her body as BX looked at her on the bed. “You’re beautiful.”

“And you’re hot,” she replied, standing on her knees, reaching over to grab his hands. “Come on, Gon. Please? I’ve been so horny for you.” “You’re horny for me?”

He gave a guffaw as she laid down onto the bed, letting him go. She shut her eyes and sighed loudly, resting the back of her curled fingers against her temples. She’d never had a partner stop to make jokes as she was naked in bed, begging him to fuck her.

The springs of the mattress squeaked and groaned as BX got into bed with her. Goosebumps formed up her legs and arms as she felt his body over hers, his left knee pushing her legs open. She gasped, opening her eyes, when she felt his hands grasp onto her wrists. Blood pumped furiously at her throat as he pressed her arms down into the mattress.

“So,” he asked softly as he looked down at her, his eyes moving up and down her face, “what will it take for you to call me again?”

“Gon?” she said against his lips as he pressed his lips over hers. She shut her eyes as his lips moved to capture hers. His thigh pressed up against her, and she moaned into his mouth as his thigh continually pressed up against her, the pressure of his thigh muscles flexing against her folds sent sharp heat into her body.

She breathed heavily through her mouth when he released her lips. His lips landed on her neck and his teeth nipped at her sensitive skin before licking and kissing the sweat off her neck and jaw. She took a sharp inhale of breath as his fingers tightened their hold on her wrists, her skin aching. The familiar wet sensation of BX’s tongue licking her tits returned as she exhaled out a sweet moan.

“Oh my God, that feels so good, Gon,” she said barely above a whisper. She squealed out a frustrated groan as his teeth captured the engorged bud on her right breast, grinding his teeth back and forth. Sharp, mind melting jolts of heat hit her groin like lightning. “Oh my God! Gonie! Gonie!”

“Gonie?” he said, his teeth releasing her immediately. Piti took in heavy, shaky breaths, her body so hot and her nerves so sensitive, BX was one thigh flex away from making her come. He kissed her lips. “That’s cute, Piti. Gonie. I’m your Gonie.”

“Gonie,” she said softly, breathing heavily, “are we going to fuck? Please?”

He chuckled, his fingers released their grip on her wrists and glided down her arms to caress her breasts. She arched her back and shut her eyes as her pussy was aching for his cock, her core wet and warm. A sharp heat hit her stomach as his hands kneaded her breasts.

“I like it when you ask in a sweeter way,” he said. She shut her eyes as his hand groped her right breast, her body radiating with a frustrated heat.

“Will you please put your beautiful cock inside of me, please?” she said immediately. He kissed her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. The chuckles in his throat reverberated into her chest, sending sharp heat into her nipples.

When they broke their kiss, they sat up so she could grab a condom from her night stand drawer. She sat up in bed, and kissed his shoulder as she watched him put the condom on. He grinned at her, seeming to enjoy the attention. His hand stroked his cock before he laid down onto his back.

“What position do you like?” he asked as she laid down beside him, turning her body in toward his.

“Spoon me and play with my clit, please?”

“You’re so cute,” he said, his eyes lighting up as he smiled from ear to ear. “I like it when you say please.”

He kissed her before letting go of her so she could turn around to face her back to him. She felt a shiver ride down her body as his sweaty front came into contact with her back. His tongue licked her earlobe as his hand massaged the inside of her thigh, pulling her to lift her leg a little. She rested her head onto the pillow under her as she felt him enter her from behind. The kiss he planted onto her neck made her give out a gasp. His cock pulling the walls of her pussy apart caused her nerves to dance wildly, making her skin light up.

“Gonie,” she gave out a soft moan as she felt his hand fondle her breast.

He pushed in deep, and she gave a loud exhale. She grunted as he began to push in and out in a slow, deep rhythm, making her feel every motion of his cock. Desperate squeaks escaped her lips when his cock twitched inside of her as he paused, balls deep inside of her.

“Fuck,” she breathed out as BX’s hand moved between her legs, and she felt two of his fingers press against her clit.

She wriggled her hips against him as his fingers drew circles around her clit, and then spread to glide down against her labia before going back to draw circles around her clit. Her mind was spinning, like she’d ridden on a roller coaster where her legs dangled in the air as the giant machine she was strapped to made a giant 360 degree loop. Trying to focus, she thrust back as he pushed his hips toward her.

“Fuck,” it was his turn to swear. He groaned as he began to pick up a faster pace. She couldn’t keep up and shut her eyes as she threw her hand back to grab his hip to feel steady. Her fingers dug into his wet, soft flesh as he continually rutted into her. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

“Gon,” she panted out, “Gon! Gonie! Fuck me just like that.”

“It feels good when you squeeze on my cock,” he said against her ear as his fingers flicked her clit up and down. The sensations of sweat gliding down her back and chest overcame her as her mind went through another 360 degree loop. Her cunt clamped down on his cock as his fingers played with her clit. “Fucking hell, you’re going to make me come.” The bed springs squeaked and groaned in a furious, erratic rhythm as his fingers left her clit to grab the back of her thigh to push in deeper.

“Gonie, I’m gonna come,” she said desperately, her face unbearably hot. “You’re fucking me so good, Gonie. Your cock, Gonie!”

He guffawed, clearly on a high at her praises, keeping his fast pushes going. His fingers gripped onto the back of her thigh before gliding to grope her ass. Finally, his fingers returned to her clit, and she immediately lost herself. Three fingers rubbed against her clit before he captured her engorged bud between his forefinger and middle finger and pulled, milking her clit.

Champagne gold fireworks exploded before her eyelids as her body seemed to feel weightless, though she could still feel BX’s cock thrusting in and out of her. Her mind was spinning endlessly as her whole body tensed before an overwhelming calm overcame her, relaxing all the muscles in her body.

His hand moved up to massage her breast as he planted kisses onto her shoulder. His fast pushes continued as she turned her head over, opening her eyes slightly. BX bent forward and kissed her, closing his eyes. She gave a soft whimper as he gave a handful of erratic, sharp pushes into her. His tongue pushed aggressively into her mouth before he released her lips.

Spent, neither of them were able to speak, though BX withdrew from her. She shut her eyes and she listened to him move around, likely disposing of his condom. A low groan escaped her lips as she felt him spoon her, his lips warming her cheek.

“When can we do that again?” he asked into her ear, tickling her nerves and making her giggle.

--

Thank you for reading!

#cix #cix smut #cix bx #cix byounggon #bx smut #lee byounggon #bx #byounggon #byounggon smut #college au #university au #cix imagines #bx imagines #fluff #smut #a little angsty #friends to lovers #cixthotshit #no beta read

[aquariusshadow]

Live!Blogging HSMTMTS s2x8

Well, well, well, who would’ve thought my streaming site would have the episode up early. I can finally get a Live!Blog done at a decent time for once.

Rip Rini. That’s my only prediction for this ep.

Lesss goooooo

--

“napoleon over here” jfc haha

“because winners don’t freak out” good mantra miss jenn

Lets take a shot how many times Ricky says “Nini”—I’m at 2 already with one minute in

Awwwwwwww look at gina giving ej pointers for the dancing

“biggie” idk how I feel about that nickname for big red but you do you Ashlyn

Why am I surprised that this rendition is really good

Big red you’re killing it

To any of yall who remember Unus Annus (memento mori ☹ ) plz tell me you remember their “version” of the gaston song???

Cuz that’s all im thinking about

EJ your voice is so good we’ve been robbed this entire show

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful, well done well done

Awwww poor seb

Tbf I’d probably try that out too ngl haha

We’re already calling ricky ‘you-know-who’ and this show is well known for it’s harry potter references…..yikes

3

Asdlhjsdlhfasdfh

“No offense Ricky, but it’s not all about you.” Daaaaaaaaamn

Ricky

Sir

What are you doing

Why

Aldfaksjdfahsdf

Yes asking people to collab is legit

Yes this could also be some creep

But stop being clingy and obsessive ricky good lord

Oh so NOW he regrets one of his bad choices with nini

4

Hehe portwell smiling at each other all throughout the ep

HFLDKJHGJFGGH

WAIT

ARE WE ADDRESSING IT

EJ LIKES HER HOLY SHIT

AJDFALHSDJFASDLFHASDFJASDFLASDFJASDFHASKFDJASDLFS

I MEAN IT WAS OBVIOUS

BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IF/WHEN/HOW THEY WERE GONNA ADDRESS IT

I stg if my video doesn’t stop glitching imma sue something

Oooooooooo ej’s dad

Oh

Oh no

Ej never told his dad about duke

WAIT

HIS DAD PULLED STRINGS TO GET HIM IN

Sir

Mr sir

Mr fucking sir

Of course he’s one of those parents

Miss jenn does have a strong soprano range I’ll give her that

Poor seb

He just wanted some rehearsal time

5

Honestly ricky I think you can still call her nini

6

Even big red is tired of listening to the same shit with ricky

7

I do feel for the kid but man

Ooooo kourt’s mom

I like how we’re seeing more of the parents

Her mom is so supportive

That’s so nice to see

Yaaay some of their relationship was real afterall

Even tho Howie scuffed up

Yea kourt you tell him

Yea I have a feeling ricky just kinda froze while taking the career apititude test

8

“I did not come home for you” hell yea nini you tell him

Everyone in the restaraunt is just staring lmao

Rip Rini?

I will be very very very mad if they make up at the end of the ep and continue on like nothing happened

Awwwwww Ashlyn made a Big Red career collage that’s so cute

Oooooooooh I see the conflict now ok

Big red you should tell her what you really want

There you go

Look at that communication

Rini take notes

Awwwwww mazzarra made her a lil mini snack/coffee table to help her relax

That’s very sweet

And he’s the only one of her love-interests that actually knows how to HELP her

Man he’s smitten with her isn’t he

Gina’s hair is so pretty here I love it

She smiles every time she sees ej ehehe

And he’s helping her crochet <3

Look at portwell’s communication skills here

Maaaaaaaan

Even tho they are different

Both of them are listening to each other and are still helping each other

While rina had stuff like that in common

Season 2 scuffed them so bad gina was just unhappy

Aka gina’s list on why she likes ej

This is so cute

Jasljdsflhasdf

“you’d see what I-the rest of us see”

Plz don’t play with my heart yall

I wasn’t sure if Gina liked him back romantically or not

Portwell Nation rise up

Ashlyn I love you but whyyyyy did you ruin the momenttttttt

Oh my god

Why are Rini being happy and cute when they JUST blew up at each other

Im so confused

Is that normal for relationships?

To go from a major fight then being super cute and happy like nothing happened????

Ok now we’re talking about it…..

“At YAC I liked who I was there” uh…Nini weren’t you kinda miserable there?

Oooooooooo

Here’s the thing

Right now Ricky is clinging onto the safety feeling

And Nini JUST said she didn’t want to be ‘safe’

Im glad he told her about the insta comment

Are they….are they actually breaking up now?

Alright this is probably the best way they both could’ve ended things

A mutual, understanding, emotion filled break up with no hard feelings

That’s gonna help both of them in the future I think

Assuming the writers don’t throw them back together at the end of the episode

9

My heart does go out to them tho :/

Howie does have a very nice voice

LOOK AT DOMESTIC PORTWELL

GUYS LOOK AT THAT

THAT’S SO CUTE

HE PUT A BLANKET OVER HER LIKE COME ON

SHE FELT SAFE ENOUGH TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH NEXT TO HIM

rina could never at least right now

Ok we got all the ships in this song

Except for Rini

If this is foreshadowing im very content

Awwww ricky ☹

Beautiful Howie

I loved that so much

Great voice

Great ending to an episode

--

Did I actually keep track of how many times Ricky said “Nini” in this episode? Yes, yes I did. It helped me stay more focused ironically enough. Luckily half of those were in conversation with Nini so that wasn’t awful lmao.

So I was right about Rip Rini. Incredible. Hopefully they stay broken up for a while and focus on themselves. RICKERAPY CAN FINALLY SHINE!!!!!

Also, EJ likes Gina confirmed? Portwell nation, how we feelin today?

#hsmtmts #live!blogging hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2x8 #rip rini #portwell #portwell nation #rickerapy #everyone is too talented plz help #memento mori to all those who get it #nini salazar roberts #ricky bowen #ej caswell #gina porter #r*na could never #domestic portwell #plz let rini work on themselves #dont throw them back together in the season finale

[energyanon]

Heres Henry. It’s gonna be 2 parts cause this one was pretty intense for me. I have a feeling other people checked on him today too and didn’t close it properly 👀 guys if you’re gonna do it, close it properly pls. Also yes anon you were right about the intensity, but I knew that already. I felt it when I saw the post. Here is part one.

Placed HC.

Henry:

Eyes heavy, heart racing. Constriction in the chest (if you remember from my second reading with him and NV there was constriction there too, but I don’t have NV placed here)

Deep sighs from him and he couldn’t stand up he had to sit on the floor.

This feels like depression.

Not just an emotion of sadness, actual depression, like.. once again he’s on the edge of getting emotional and crying but just can’t seem to get them out (I find it very easy to cry and with seb I cried my heart out. If I had a choice I’d make him cry cause it’s not healthy to keep it in, but there is such a strong block to actually cry for him)

It feels rooted in masculinity, I won’t lie. There is something that keeps sending me back to “you can’t cry there’s nothing to cry about.” He feels so alone though.

He wants to fold into himself but he won’t do that either. There’s a bit of a sense of “you’re being dramatic, this isn’t worth feeling sad over”

Another deeeeeeep sigh.

And that made the tears come to the eyes, but I’m still not crying just yet. And it’s stopped again.

For real, everytime there is one iota of a feeling he shoves it down.

The way he feels is like.. you know when you feel like you’ve just wasted your life.. and you don’t know where you’re going or what you’re doing and the future just doesn’t seem worth it. It’s not suicidal by any means I’m not getting those thoughts but it’s more like..

what’s the point? Drifting. He kind of feels like he’s floating in space and it’s not a peaceful feeling, but it’s not panicked as you would be, it’s like a complete feeling of hopelessness there is nothing I can do.. I’m out of energy.

Once again that brought water to the eyes but they won’t fall.

If he had a choice he would just lie on the ground face down.

But once again, I’m allowing him to do that but he won’t move me there. It’s like he wants to but he doesn’t want to show that “weakness” except there’s no one here observing him it’s just me. Whatever this is, it’s so deeply rooted that he can’t even be himself around himself. Another deep sigh.

He doesn’t want to do anything he has no desire to move from his place on the ground, there’s barely any thoughts besides just completely lost and he really wants to just lay face down but he won’t let himself. He doesn’t even have the energy to let me get another placement…being in this I honestly just feel.. nothing. it’s not an absence of feeling per say but it’s.. I just don’t care. I don’t care about anything. He’s trying to, he’s really trying but he’s lost the feeling.

There’s chocolate in this room and he wants to eat it (comfort)

I literally had to drag myself to go get another placement cause he was not moving.

I put down career, and it wanted to be on top of him. I tried to not do that as I’m gonna have to read career on top of Henry and that’s difficult but it genuinely wouldn’t let me place it anywhere else, it’s on TOP of him.

Career

Career doesn’t seem to care that it’s on him, it’s fine being on Henry. It said “I wanna crush Henry” standing on him make its feet warm and it likes that. Hen also seems hard to it though, like standing on rocks. It’s really uncomfortable to be standing here now. Like it feels like I’m pressing my feet hard into rocks my feet really hurt.

Henry

Henry feels breathless with Career on him and I can literally feel the weight of it on me. it’s contorting my neck down and my back feels like it’s carrying this heavy thing my back is hurting now. I genuinely feel like I’m carrying something so heavy on my back and neck. It feels like it’s slowly crushing me. He’s a bit stressed about it but he can’t move. He defo wants to be out of this situation though. My body genuinely feels like I’m slowly folding into myself and I’m getting crushed under my own weight. He also feels a bit dizzy and cannot concentrate on anything else besides being crushed. I need to get myself out of this cause it really hurts.

I’m not going to do a constellation for him (no permission and also he needs to do him. I cant fix the guy) but I am barely moving career just so it is no longer crushing him and that’s the only Change I’m making cause nothing can move from here if career doesn’t move. I asked him where he wanted career, he said just in front of him, I asked if he wanted it facing him, he said no just in front. (This isn’t something I usually do I won’t talk to them, but I still needed some sort of approval in order to move career and essentially “shift” the energy.)

I (as in me) need to take so many breaks from him cause it’s so intense to be in his energy right now.

Henry:

He’s looking at career, career has its back turned, his body is still suffering a bit from being crushed, but he just feels sad and hopeless looking at career. It’s bigger than him but not massively so. But he also feels like career doesn’t like him, that career wouldn’t want to be touched by him, that he’s better to just kind of… go..

he feels shut out by career.

And that ALMOST gets me to watery eyes again but for the love of god he will not feel it.

Once again, even though he’s not being crushed anymore he feels so heavy and my feet hurt again. He’s forcing me to SHOVE them into the ground, And I can’t help feeling heavy in Henry’s energy, I feel like I weigh a tonne.

Solid cinder blocks on my feet is what it feels like. I cant move. But I also have no desire to move im just staring at career like “this is what I deserve”

I wanted to see if he would ask anything around him for help but no, he just wanted to give a little smile and pretend that it’s all good. Did not want help from anything or anyone, did not want to move and wanted to ignore it all. My FEET HURT SO MUCH.

I need to take another break. I don’t know why my entire weight seems to shift as I’m in his energy but my ANKLES cannot take the weight. it’s actually fucked my left inner ankle I don’t know what it’s called, the navicular? Everytime I try to stretch it it makes a cracking sound 🥲 energy work is fucked you guys.

On the plus side I don’t feel anymore back or neck pain. So we’re going back in.

Career:

Career doesn’t like Henry behind him. It’s Not feeling like it wants to be on top of him anymore, but it’s back is hot. Henry is encroaching on its personal space and it feels like it can feel him breathing on its back? It’s not happy about that it’s a bit disgusted.

Doesn’t feel like it should move though it feels like Henry should move away from it. It’s not CAREERS problem that Henry wants to breathe his hot breath on its back.

It’s so uncomfortable like it keeps twitching it’s back about it. It doesn’t like that feeling at all.

I moved career and yeah it doesn’t want to face him, back turned to him, it thinks he’s gross. And now it’s getting a bit of anxiety?

I cant stop getting the heebie jeebies about Henry though like I keep trying to get his germs off my back as if rolling my shoulders enough will do that it’s so gross it’s having a little spasm about it. I’m getting out of here.

Henry:

Henry feels much lighter now that career has moved, and a fraction happier. A little bit more free. Still wants to sit on the ground though.

Omg as I tried to get down onto the ground I let out such an old man groan and my body cracked in so many places. I’m not an old woman guys I’m so young 🥲 I shouldn’t be cracking.

He doesn’t feel as hopeless now as he did before, a lot lighter than before, but he still doesn’t know what to do. He’s also not as tired.

Career is there in the corner but he makes fleeting eye contact as he doesn’t really wanna look at it at all.

It’s kinda sad he’s just sitting here. Alone. Not really doing anything. Not really sure what to do. Also my backs hurting again and I keep saying “I’m getting old”

(I (EA) am not old and My back is JUST FINE)

I’m going to have to end it here and do a part 2 another time, cause this one is taking it out of me, and right now he doesn’t want to move and I also don’t feel like I should put anything down. The focus I stepped into today is defo on career than anything else.

Also I know I said I wouldn’t put NV in, but the fascinating part is.. Henry doesn’t want NV in. Like I think about it and he actually shuts down MY thought.

Weird 👀

So part two will be: the Insta post, fans and.. I’m gonna do body and status aswell.

#reading #HC

[btsslowburnfic]

Body Insecurities Series

Rated: T for implied sexy times and language

Members: Jin and Yoongi

Body struggle: Your breasts

Jin

Today was a day full of mistakes. Mistake #1: You scrolled through Instagram for the 50th time today. You knew better. But the photo of Jin and that model now had 2.1 million likes. Htf was that even possible? You thought. I mean, you knew the two fan bases were huge, but jeez. 

Mistake #2: You read the comments section. The one talking about how your boyfriend was so hot and so was the model and that they were probably dating and how she had the perfect body and “wow most Korean girls aren’t that curvy,” “Damn, I bet Jin couldn’t keep his eyes or hands off that.”

You were petite. You did not have an hourglass figure. In a world of alleged hourglasses, apples, and pears, you were a carrot. Or a french fry. A very straight french fry. You had gone through your middle school phase of super padded bras. Your high school phase of little silicone cutlets. And even your twenty-something phase where you looked into cosmetic surgery. But you thought you had come to terms with your aerodynamic figure by this point in your life.

You sighed. You had promised yourself you would not be this kind of girlfriend. You knew you were dating a celebrity. You knew what you were getting into. It still sucked though. You heard the door to your apartment unlock. 

[Y/N]?” You heard Jin yell from the foyer.

“I’m in here,” you responded, getting up and walking over to him. 

“Hey beautiful,” he said as he exited the foyer and reached down for a hug. You smiled as he always hooked his arms under yours even though he was taller. Weirdo. I wonder if he hugged that model. You found yourself thinking. Goddammit brain. Stop. 

“Hey! Did you have a good day today? You’re home so early.” You said as you walked into the kitchen.

He followed you, opening up the refrigerator and grabbing a drink. “Yeah. We filmed an episode of Run today and we actually completed our missions early so here I am,” he smiled while taking a swig of the drink.

You looked over at him, “I thought you were doing shots with that model today?” You said without thinking.

He thought for a minute, trying to remember what you were talking about.  He pulled some chicken out of the refrigerator, “That was last week. You know the content creators hold on to photos for months at a time. Today’s Run episode won’t even air for like 8 months.” He said nonchalantly. Like it was no big deal. Because to him, it wasn’t. 

“Oh.” You said as you prepared the rice maker. “Was she nice?”

Jin rolled his eyes. “Since when do you take an interest in who I work with? Other than when it’s an artist or actor you’re a fan of.” He could guess where this conversation was headed. He sat the chicken down on the counter.

“No reason,” you responded.

“She was fine. We didn’t really talk, but she was polite to her stylists and stuff I guess.” He said as he began to marinate the chicken.

The rest of the evening passed as normal as possible with the two of you cooking and eating dinner. You tried hard not to be an insecure weirdo but it was difficult. You left your phone in the bedroom to resist the urge to check insta again. 

“What do you want to do tonight?” you asked him since he rarely had a free evening. 

He had changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt. “Netflix and Chill. Is that what the kids call it?”

You laughed, “Yeah like 5 years ago old man,” you teased him as you joined him on the couch. 

“You pick, I don’t care.” He said, handing you the remote. You scrolled through mindlessly before deciding on something. 

You tried to focus on the movie but all you could focus on was the actress’s perfect bodies. You didn’t even notice how much you were zoning out until the movie abruptly stopped. Jin had paused it. You looked over at him.

“What’s bothering you?” 

“Nothing.” you said, feeling your face flush. You had said it too quickly though and Jin noticed.

“Jagiya. Talk to me.” Jin said wrapping his arm around you.

“I just...I’m feeling really awkward after seeing the picture of you with that model and reading all those comments about how perfect she is and how you two look so good together and how she has perfect tits and I have zero tits and I just feel really bad about myself now.” You stumbled through your confession all at once.

“Oh Jagi...There’s so much going on up there,” he ran his hand down the side of your face. “Yes. She is very pretty. And so are most of the people I work with. And so are you. I’m not going to lie about that. And her boobs are fake.”

You looked at him incredulously, “How do you know?”

He rolled his eyes at you and raised his eyebrows. “Really? You really think those are real?”

You scoffed, “No but I….”

“[Y/N] If you want fake boobs, we can buy them, but I love you and your body just the way you are.”

You looked away. “You’re just saying that.”

Jin sighed, “I’m not trying to be rude or anything, but I’m Worldwide Handsome. If I wanted to date a supermodel or someone with huge boobs, I would have done it. I’m with you because I want to be. Because I like you. I’ve liked you since I met you and I think you are beautiful just the way you are.”

You didn’t have a counter argument for that. It’s not like he didn’t have women throwing themselves at him all the time. You nestled back into his side. 

“Thanks Jin.” you said.

“No need to thank me. I have clearly been lacking in telling you how beautiful you are and I shall remedy it immediately.” He kissed the top of your head.  

Yoongi/Suga

It was time for bed and you had just finished brushing your teeth. You took off your dress and looked in the mirror. You frowned. You grabbed your boobs in your hands and pushed them up, back to where they used to be. Ah much better. You sighed as you let go and watched them sag back down to their now natural state. You groaned and put a bralette on and then put on Yoongi’s black hoody as well. 

You walked back out of the bedroom and were surprised to see Yoongi had wandered into the bedroom. You always went to bed way earlier than him; your office job required a much earlier morning than his job. He turned and looked over at you and then opened his arms. You smirked and walked over, lying down on top of him and greeting him with a kiss. “Coming to bed early tonight?”

“No...Just visiting the bedroom in hopes of some other bedroom activities.” he ran a hand through your hair and gave you a suggestive look. 

“Oh really?” you said before pressing your lips against his. His hands moved down feeling around your underwear and pulled at the fabric to lift up your shirt. Well, his shirt. You sat up and finished pulling it over your head before settling back down on top of him. The two of you continued to make out for several minutes, slowly losing more and more bits of clothing until all that remained on was your bra. 

You hoped Yoongi wouldn���t notice, but as he laid on top of you, he started to rub a hand under your bra band. “I think you’re forgetting something.” he commented playfully. 

You tried to ignore it, putting on a sexy voice, “I just want to get to the main event.”

“All right then, let’s do it,” he said and started to pull on the band to help you remove your bralette.

You froze up. “No. I want to keep it on.”

Yoongi gave you a perplexed look and rested down on one elbow, running the other one along your collarbone. “Ok. It’s not a big deal. Is there any reason?”

You looked away, not really wanting to answer. You were usually very confident but lately this had really been bothering you.

“I thought you were just really into borrowing my hoodies, but I’m guessing something else is bothering you.” He said as he gently touched your face, forcing you to look at him.

“I just...I just hate my saggy boobs ok? They’re gross and I don’t want to see them.” You blurted out. 

Yoongi looked a little surprised for a minute. “That’s what you’re worried about? But they’re so cute. And I love them.” He said and you actually believed him. 

“It’s your body, I’m not going to make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with. And I can’t tell you how to feel. But you should know that I really like them. I like how they feel in my hands.”  He gently rubbed the outside material of your bra, “and how they feel in my mouth,” he leaned down to kiss you, “And how they feel against my body.” You felt him gently pushing himself against you beneath the sheets and a quiet moan escaped your lips.

“How? They fall into my armpits when I lay on my back.” you whined. You were also half laughing at how ridiculous you sounded.

He smirked. “That’s gravity. You want me to tell you what my balls do when I lay down?”

“No. Definitely not,” you laughed as you raised your head up to kiss him. 

“Alright, we’ll work on helping you feel better about this, ok?” He kissed you again. 

#bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts fluff #bts jin x you #jin x reader #bts suga x you #bts yoongi x reader #yoongi x reader #yoongi scenarios #jin scenarios #bts seokjin x reader #body posititivity #bts boyfriend

[minyoongisjiminie]

너는 나 나는 너 (neoneun na naneun neo)

ship: jikook, idol!jungkook x broke literature student!jimin

genre: fluff and angst, kind of slowburn

rating: pg-13

disclaimer: language and alcohol 

plot: jimin and jungkook were childhood friends and with jungkook training to become an idol, they both lost contact. jungkook however did never forget what Jimin once promised him: “If your pinky is bigger than mine, then I give you the allowance to marry me.” 

inspo: a beautiful fanart that i saw on insta some time ago. it made me brainstorm for a good amount of time :)

a/n: please be nice to me :’) I haven’t written stuff in such a long time and I’m so out of it…so pretty please cut me some slack :) constructive criticism is always allowed tho.

a big thank you to the closest mutual i have: @sugaforyou​ for beta reading and just being a helpful hand! i’m sure I was a mess… :’) I’m sorry for that and I love you! 

word count: 12,8k 

-

Jimin despised waking up early every day and then continuing to trot to the bus station. Did it even matter in the first place? School made him even more unmotivated than he already was in this part of life. In fact, there were no interesting and helpful topics he learned there and, furthermore, he thought that attending school was more something he fulfilled for his parents. They were always so proud of him when he brought home a good grade. So proud, that he always concealed how depressed school actually made him.  Going to school for so many hours to then attending the tuition classes and as if that weren’t enough also continuing studying at home, was that place that essential though? It just made him already completely weary when he wakes up on a Saturday. The only passion and hobby that he possessed was taking dance lessons, but even for those he rarely had time. He wanted to continue to attend them, but he was too overwhelmed with school that he was absolutely tired. On top of that, none of his friends actually tried to offer him a shoulder to cry or were even there to cheer him up. 

They did not realise how it was to live up each day to the expectations of others, how it was to live for others, just how it was to be so damn dependent on someone. Of course, he wasn’t the only one that had parents that were expecting so much. However, the friends that he established were all free spirits and some of their parents were even condoning that.

Oh, how he envied them. 

Why was he even so dependent on the hugs from his parents when he brought home an A, or just a simple “I’m proud of you” or “i love you”. It made him do things that he wouldn’t normally do. He was not expecting that just from his parents, but also from his friends. If he got these compliments and showers of love, he felt like it was okay to suffer. Maybe that was the reason why he was so lonely. He put himself into the moulds that people in his environment created for him. It ended up swallowing him up.

Nowadays, those he once called friends were ignoring him as much as they could, and his family didn’t really care about him. As long as he received  good grades and didn’t protest, they were fine with him. To be honest now without any distractions whatsoever he could completely concentrate on school, with his friends having stopped calling him on Friday nights to ask if he would come hang out with him on the weekend/following day.

They already knew he would find a pathetic excuse why he couldn’t attend. He was on his own.

Just as if someone like Kookie didn’t exist…

Kookie, or by his full name Jeon Jungkook, was his younger neighbour.

He was a few years younger than him and every time when Jimin was miserably trotting to school, the little one would always sprint his way up to him. Like Jimin’s puppy “Doraemon” trying to play with the little kids by running after them. Now after realising that, Jimin couldn’t stop thinking that they sort of looked similar to each other. That made him forget his sorrow for a little while, and he couldn’t stop smiling.

When Jimin was younger he always thought that Jungkook behaved that way because he looked up to him. Considering he was a few years older than him. Maybe he needed an older brother figure? Nowadays however Kookie comes to check if his pinkie grew out to be taller than the one of the older one. This cannot happen overnight of course, but Jungkook didn’t quite seem to understand how the mystery of time and patience worked.

“Hyung, just look! If my finger outgrows yours..! Then you need to marry me. You promised me!”

Jimin smiled gently. He actually stated that a few months back, because Jungkook wouldn’t stop bragging around that he was marrying Jimin soon. At first he thought it was cute, but after a while it started to get on Jimin’s nerves because he wouldn’t stop. So, the only option he had was to tell him they were still too young, and Jimin liked boys bigger than him.

To the surprise of the little one of course. He was absolutely bamboozled, his doe-like eyes grew even bigger in that moment, and he asked if he really needed to become taller than him, in order for him to take the older one’s hand in marriage. Jimin quickly grabbed the younger one by his hand and softly stated: “It’s enough if your little pinkie is bigger than hyung’s. And that needs some time, doesn’t it?” Kookie nodded shyly, examining the black and white converse chucks that the older one was wearing.

Looking back to it, he always ended up snickering a bit. The boy was truly a gift to the neighbourhood, everyone in the area loved him. Even though he was already growing up to become an adolescent, for all the neighbours he was still the little cute and gifted maknae, Kookie. A lot of his classmates that came to visit him were all trying too hard to look cool, which was normal for that age, but Kookie was still acting like a little adorable brat.

But dare you to recognize him and adore him back, face to face, then he turned into a big whiny mess.

Jungkook was indeed a once in a lifetime…

Jimin didn’t even know why Jungkook was so hellbent on “marrying” him. They were so young  and Jungkook so tiny. You wouldn’t tell he was twelve.

However, Jimin couldn’t stop feeling a bit flattered by the compliments and promises the little one gifted him. Even though it was “just his younger neighbour kid”.

“I firmly promise.” He hooked Kook’s little finger with his own, pulled his thumb onto his and made them touch. “You can trust your hyungie right?” Kook was already shyly staring at the pavement. Oh wow, now HE was the one that needed to be intimidated? “Of course, hyung.”

Jimin couldn’t contain himself, he chuckled. Jungkook was just such a… cutie pie.

To be honest, Jungkook isn’t 10 years or even 5 years younger than Jimin. The age gap consists of 2 years. That was completely alright. However, the height difference couldn’t be overlooked. Jungkook could reach Jimin’s chest at the moment, and the older one was sure that he would grow. However, the reason why Jimin was keeping his distance with his dongsaeng, was surely not the height difference. But rather that he would not stay right by his side. He wouldn’t continue to chase him down before school, ask for his pinkie in a cutely manner, or even give him the puppy eyes, to bribe him, so he could buy him his candies and banana milk. He would disappear in thin air. Just like his friends once did.

And that was bothering Jimin more than he would admit.

“You need to promise me that you’ll always give your best. Fate always brings those together that deeply care for each other. Okay?”

Jimin grabbed Jungkook by his shoulders, a bit tougher than he actually wanted, and he had a weird feeling in his guts telling him he wouldn’t see him again. He was indeed sure in his bones of the fact Jungkook would find someone better to look up to and adore.

In the end, Jimin was a loser, who wasn’t brave enough to run after his own dreams. And that sucked. Of course, it did. Jungkook shouldn’t stay here, though. Nothing should hold him here. Not even his first childhood romance.

If you could even call it like that..

“I’ll do that.. But if you forget me…!”

Jimin noticed the tears building up in Kookie’s big doe eyes, and he couldn’t contain his own sadness. It was so odd to see him in such a condition. He thought he would make some stupid jokes and then just say bye. Now looking at him like this, was concerning him.

“Hey… Oh Kook-ah!” He gently pushed Jungkook’s back into his arms, to embrace him into a hug. With one hand, the older one was caressing his little head while the other one his back.

“Hyung, will always be there with you. You cannot see me, but I’ll be right there by your side, alright?”

“I will miss you so much hyung.” the younger one replied with a trembling voice.

“You need to return quickly. You need to know if this one,” He showed his little pale pinkie. “Of yours, grew up to become bigger than mine, huh?” Jungkook’s lips finally formed a little smile, even though his eyes were still watery and red. “I promise. But when I come back you need to promise to marry me. Don’t you dare forget.”

Even though he wouldn’t admit it now, Jimin’s eyes back then were also filling up with tears. He caressed Jungkook’s head once more before moving away from the little one and facing him.

“This is a promise.”

Yet again they gave each other their little promise gesture. And then Jungkook was gone. Vanished, you could say without even leaving a trace. He did not forget a single thing. All his toys and plushies he loved, he kept. That was a bummer. Jimin hoped to have something from him to always keep him in his memories.

The first few years, Jimin welcomed home some letters. Or messages on his phone. After some time, however, even those stopped.

~ a few years later ~

“Jimin, you owe me more than one soju bottle for doing this…?”

Yoongi massaged his own lower back, after carrying a few boxes up to Jimin’s new place. He was not born to help him out, along with it, he also wasn’t born to carry heavy boxes like that. Why did Jimin even ask Yoongi from all the people he knows to help him out? He isn’t helpful in any way. 

“Dude you brought up 2 boxes. You shouldn’t even get half of a soju bottle.” the younger one replied while lying down on the cold wooden plank. He was exhausted and didn’t even know why he was still going to college. He fucked up his first semester because he chose to listen to his parents and studied hotel management. Hotel management? From all the subjects the world has to offer, he chose fucking hotel management? Thankfully, he found his better half in the same classes and funny thing is he also seemed out of place.

His parents were not so happy to hear that. But in the end they accepted his choice and let him study whatever he wants. As long as he still went to college they didn’t care anymore.

In a way he was happy, but he was also fucking tired and disappointed in himself. Why did he even listen to his parent’s advice in the first place?

“I’m your sunbae, and the most important thing is that I’m your hyung. So, don’t be such a disrespectful piece of trash and be thankful that I was there to help you out.”

Yoongi scoffed back while he poked Jimin’s chest with his pale finger.

The younger one rolled his eyes and made some space for Yoongi to lay next to him on the floor. Even though there was a cheap sofa just a few meters away from them, on this hot summer day the best and also free thing was to just lay down on the floor. Jimin wasn’t rich in any way, so therefore he couldn’t afford an AC.

“Taehyung was too busy with his girlfriend. Hoseok hyung was too busy with his college work and the others were out partying.”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders and took a sip from his lukewarm beer that Jimin bought him on their way to get here. He wasn’t necessarily into partying, especially not when it was that hot outside. Jimin was also the only one he was cool with, hanging out with him didn’t get on his nerves. That was a plus. And as long as he got his soju, he gives zero fucks.

“I’m the best hyung you have. Just sayin’.” He stood up pretty quickly from the cold wooden floor and offered his hand to the now blonde-haired boy. “Soju time.” Yoongi stick out his tongue and squeezed his eyes. Jimin couldn’t prevent himself from laughing. This hyung got some fairly good aegyo talent if alcohol was in play.

*

“Cheers!”

It was pretty late now. Jimin was starting to get tired and was unsure if he could pay for all the soju bottles they were destroying. “Hyung, how about you slow down a bit? I don’t think I can pay up for all of this.” Jimin was starting to count the tteokbokki and the soju bottles that they already devoured. 1, 2, 3, 4… no. It was impossible. He already was broke. He was happy that he could pay for even one bottle.

“Don’t worry too much. I knew you would say that. I asked for one bottle so just pay up for one if you want to.”

Jimin looked at him suspiciously, uncertain in what he was up to. Soon after he just gave up and stopped assuming that his older friend expected something from him in return. He was too drunk in the first place, thinking shouldn’t be an option.

“Come on, let’s get home. You look so drunk.”

“Am. Not?”

Jimin has always gotten pretty sassy and showed his big temper when he was drunk. It made Yoongi laugh, so he just played along.

“Okay, little one. Let’s go. Tomorrow is Uni-Day.”

Jimin tried. Standing up was hard, he felt like his eyes were coated with tiny little clouds. And his head was starting to ache really bad. “Hyung, please. Help me…” He pouted while searching for his hyung with his hands.

Little did Jimin know, Yoongi was actually paying for the food and the alcohol, snickering as he glanced at the helpless little blonde boy. It was always a different kind of entertainment to watch Jimin being drunk. And he adored that.

“Come on!”

Yoongi dragged Jimin out of the bar and linked his arms with his. Just to be careful. He could never be sure if he’s up to something. Drunk people are like kids. You can’t read their thoughts, and suddenly they’re crying because they’re doing something stupid.

“Hmm, which Bus should we take..?”

While Yoongi was looking through his phone, Jimin started observing his surroundings. It was pretty dark and refreshing to stand outside after drinking so much, with the weather tingling him. And he realised how happy he was that he didn’t barf tonight. It was an improvement for him.

The night still was young, one could never know.

While Jimin looked at all the posters glued on the windows and doors of the neighbour’s bars and restaurants, there was a specific one whom caught his attention.The boy on the poster looked so familiar…

Oh no. The boy on the poster… Is none other than…

That was damn Jeon Jungkook!

Jimin felt the puke climbing its way up to his throat, and he was so not welcoming it.

“Hyung… I think.. I need to..”

There we go.

“FUCK.”

*

After last night’s encounter with poster Jungkook, Jimin had such a bad mood that nothing on this planet could have cheered him up. And that fucking sucked.

His friends tried their best, but as they realised that even Mr. Kim’s class was not cheering him up a bit, they became worried.

“Jimin, you want some boba? I could buy some boba!”

Hoseok was really good at cheering up. He was such a funny spirit and always used his best words. But not even Hoseokie hyung’s jokes and cuddles or boba could cheer him up. If the older one could mix some magical powder in his boba, so he would forget all the heart-breaking memories he had with Jungkook… Then he would sure as hell take it.

“No, I gotta head to work. I’ll just drink coffee there.”

He grabbed his bag and trotted his way to the cafe where he worked part-time. Why was he even miserable in the first place? Jungkook was just a little boy back then –12 years old to be exact– thinking he was in love with him. That was it. How could a child know what real love was? Besides, why should Jimin care in the first place, when he already knew it was just a kindergarten love?

His headache was still not gone, and he was sure it did not entirely just come from alcohol…

“Hello, Noona.”

Jimin bowed towards his boss and grabbed his apron. Working in the cafe wasn’t even bad. He loved it to a certain amount. It was relaxing and soothing to create drinks and serve cakes and macarons. But he doubted that work today will help him overcome his past love.

“What’s wrong? Did you fail a test or something?”

Yoona washed her hands and prepared everything for Jimin to take over. She was two years older than him, and he was thankful for that. Jimin had no clue how to interact with people that were either way older than him or way younger than him.

“Nah, it’s just my brain.” He raised his index finger, pointed at his brain and took a deep sigh. “Overthinking.”

His older friend smiled lightly and tapped on his shoulder. “I don’t know what the problem is. But you will eventually overcome it. I promise.”

He nods, starting to cut some fruits to prepare some boba tea. It helped him to ignore Jungkook who was desperately trying to contact him in his head. Repeatedly knocking on his brain and crying out his name like a mantra: “Jiminie hyung!”

If that wasn’t bad enough.. Yoona forgot to tell him that there was a fancafe event today.

For Jungkook himself.

Jimin felt how his heart started to burst. Why was he so dependent on him? He didn’t see him for years and now suddenly after so many years he was following him around?

“Uhm, sir?”

A young girl, who was definitely still a high schooler, stood in front of the cash register and looked him straight in the eyes.

“We got permission from the Lady who was working here before. Just.. to be clear.”

He nodded, tried to smile, and gave her the permission again. Complimenting how beautiful the cafe looked and that they were doing a good job.

What should he even do? Be mad at the girl for being a fan? No. It wasn’t her fault.

“If you need help or anything. Say so.” He quickly continued and made his way to his best friend Taehyung, who was already sitting at his table.

“The usual?”

Tae nodded while glancing around at the cafe now full of Jungkook’s face. The tables were plastered with cups and cupcakes with Jungkook’s pictures, his name and birthdate. Of course, it was Jungkook’s birthday today. He completely forgot…

“Can I get my latte with this cup?” Taehyung tried to imitate Jungkook’s expression on the cup and gave the expression a little silly twist. Thankfully, the girls were busy putting posters on the wall, that they didn’t acknowledge him at all. The last thing he wanted, was a mob full of teenage girls getting at his nerves for disrespecting their “oppa”.

“Don’t ruin the fun for the fans. If that’s the way they want to show their love, they should.”

Taehyung looked up to him, confused. Since when was Jimin so nonchalant about events like that? He was literally the first one to complain about these girls or even boys who came to decorate the cafe with the handsome faces of the idols. The blonde-haired boy even went that far to call them “the slaves of the rich”.

“Anyway..” He stood up and followed Jimin to his working area. Taehyung would always order the same thing. A latte, a turkey sandwich, and a piece of the famous walnut cake. Jimin sometimes wondered if he wasn’t bored with picking the same order over and over again. But what did he care? As long as he was near him and could watch over him being an emotional mess and maybe even interfere if he were doing too much nonsense, he didn’t care at all.

“Did you see these girls? They are putting the posters up there like their lives are depending on it, it’s just a goddamn birthday of some self-centred sexy looking boy.”

Taehyung took a big sip of his latte and gave a disgusted expression.

Oh boy if you knew..

“Ah, by the way, I actually got to know the ‘self-centred-sexy looking boy’.

His best friend choked on the latte and stared at him, completely bewildered, and gave him a look. “No way..?!” Jimin shrugged his shoulders and put his food on the glass table in front of him. “Not a big deal, we were good friends back in Busan.” He casually responded as if it were the most normal thing that could happen to someone.

“And when did you think it was appropriate to tell me ?” Taehyung took a bite of his sandwich and skilfully avoided any eye contact with the smaller one. Jimin did not even need to look at him to know that he was probably pouting while eating to give him a guilty conscience.

Why should he feel guilty though? Everything happened way back in the past. Sometimes it’s better to let the past go. And the same rule was also directed to Kookie.

“You have something to say to me?” Jimin responded after a while. Shouldn’t it be Jimin’s choice to choose when to talk about specific things? Why is everyone always coming at him when he hid something from them? Doesn’t he have the right for privacy?

“Nah nothing. I was just wondering how you’ve gotten to know him. He’s pretty popular nowadays.”

“We were childhood friends.”

Taehyung raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened. He didn’t expect that Jimin was friends with the upcoming next ‘Taeyang’. Funny how one always discovers something new about their best friends.

“And you’re still in contact?” Taehyung suddenly started to welcome the idea of his best friend knowing a famous idol, that could open so many doors for them. Dreamily, he put a fork full of cake in his mouth. Just thinking that people would try to be friends with them and act like they are celebrities themselves made him cheerful. According to Taehyung, they weren’t exactly losers or anything, but they weren’t associated with the cool kids either. Jungkook could open so many doors for him.. and Jimin of course!

“Nah. He stopped writing me back.”

It was actually Jimin that stopped. But the questions on “why” and “how” would be too annoying for him, so he realised lying wouldn’t be that bad.

“Aw shit that sucks.”

After Jimin’s confession, they both stopped talking for a while. Taehyung confessed that he still had some schoolwork overdue and that he would concentrate on that, and Jimin stated that he was still in preparation for today’s work. However, both were still in eyesight to each other. Here and there they shared some moments, but overall, they did their own thing.

That was refreshing to Jimin.

Maybe he was selfish for being so demanding and wanting Taehyung to be near him. And also wanting him to be silent and letting him do his work, without interruption. Yet, at moments like these, he realised how much he actually respected their friendship and also how they’re both complete opposites from each other.

Taehyung was a pretty outgoing, friendly, and charming guy. Girls loved him and were undressing him with their stares when he was walking around campus, and guys wanted to be his friend, sending him invitations to notorious parties. In addition, he was also humble and disagreed with the fact that he was in any way “popular”. He was that clueless that he would make plans on how to get into parties that were from popular seniors but hasn’t realised that he indeed was literally the most treasured and desired boy in the whole campus. The majority of seniors weren’t interested in him, however they knew him. To the point that he would receive cute messages from pretty noonas.

Okay, maybe the seniors were indeed interested in him, but they had a big ego, and wouldn’t give him invitations, nevertheless.

A typical case of not knowing what is in front of your nose but wanting something that you’ll never get.

Jimin however… He was a hopeless loser.

Girls didn’t give a single shit about him, guys were ignoring him and would only greet him when Taehyung or his senior friends were next to him. He wasn’t interesting and he realised that fact one too many times. The only thing he was good for was when his colleagues wanted to get close to his friends through him. And that was nice for both sides. Jimin’s friends knew whom to ignore from now on, and the girls and guys who were trying had the hope to get closer to them.

What a shitshow.

The only great thing about college nowadays was that he actually had some real friends he could count on.

Thinking about the way his friends knew little of Jungkook made him feel glum. They pretty much knew a great deal about him, he told them everything. His relationship with his younger brother, his parents, his assholes of friends back then. But he always let Jungkook out. Even though he played such a big part in his life once.

And still does.

Yearningly he looked back to Taehyung, who had his earplugs in and typed something in his MacBook. He wanted to tell him how much he actually missed Jungkook. How much he loved him back then, and how sorry he was that he stopped replying.

The guilt in his intestines was driving him wild.

Maybe that was the problem. He was running away from the responsibility over their relationship. Why was he even scared? He had no clue.

Why did he stop replying? He knew how shy and insecure Jungkook was back then. He even wrote to him once, that he felt like crying whenever his fellow trainee-hyungs were interrogating him about his interests. And that he would look himself up just to take a long deep breath. After all the confessions the younger one made, Jimin just stopped replying? He was disgusted. And disappointed in himself.

Perhaps that was the reason why he was so remorseful and so careful to bring him up.

This was the first time he had friends. And he didn’t want them to leave him too.

On the other side, he felt guilty. Wanting to know if what he did was really that bad, or that maybe in any way, his friends would understand and forgive him.

“Taehyung-ah?”

Jimin raised his voice slightly. Not wanting to gain attention from Jungkook’s fans. He assumed the girls were nearly done with their work. They decorated the cafe in pastel colours and all the posters were already hanging on the wall. Apparently the only thing they still were working on was the TV, trying to connect it with their phones, possibly to put on some music videos.

“Tae?”

He raised his voice one more time. Again, not getting an answer.

“Now or Never” he thought.

Taehyung was his best friend, the only same aged friend he had to be exact. Why couldn’t he just be a hundred percent honest with him?

The blonde-haired boy walked towards the little table that was plastered full of Taehyung’s books, a notebook and his MacBook. He hoped for Taehyung to understand him and maybe even help him out to forget Jungkook. After so many years the younger one would’ve forgotten about him anyway…

“Something’s wrong?” Taehyung saw Jimin’s agonized expression and it worried him. He surveyed the restaurant. No one. The guests were perhaps put off by the girls that discussed vocally about the pictures that should be taken and didn’t even dare to enter the little cafe. Due to the minority of guests, he grabbed Jimin’s wrist and made him sit next to him.

“Finally! Will you tell me what’s been bothering you for so long?" 

It sounded like he impatiently spitted these words out, but Taehyung was just worried. And maybe even a bit annoyed. Jimin wouldn’t keep things from him for so long. Most of the time he would write him a message, and Taehyung helped him out by cheering him up. Of course, there were also times where that wasn’t enough. Then, he would come pick his friend up without him realising, drag him to the closest "McDonalds” and have a late snack together. That’s just how things worked out between them. 

Now seeing that his best friend was hiding something from him, and that it was overall bothering him to the point that he was spreading this bad mood around… Was especially concerning to him. 

How could Jimin even decline Hobi hyung’s offer to boba?! 

“There is so much that I didn’t tell you. And I feel fucking guilty. Seriously…”

Jimin’s voice started to break, and he needed to fight against his tears. He was so frightened that his friend would end this friendship, when he found out that he let the 13-year-old Jungkook back then, down. Mostly, because Jimin was kind of the caretaker of their little friend group. That also applied to Taehyung’s girlfriend who also was a pretty close friend to Jimin. If they find out about Jungkook maybe they’ll stop trusting him altogether.

“Bro.. that’s okay. Tell me. You make me all scared right now.” Taehyung grabbed Jimin’s cold hand and put his own two hands on it. “Does it have something to do with that Jungkook guy?” Jimin gulped. He needed to be completely honest with him about this. About his feelings and in general, about the relationship he shared with his once younger friend. 

“Yeah, actually it does.” Jimin responded, while still staring at their hands. It helped him a lot to feel Taehyung’s hands on his own. He once noticed how much tanner he was than him. And he remembered once again how different they are from each other. Even when it came to things like outer appearance. 

So then, after recollecting his thoughts, he spilled everything out. How they both shared this deep-rooted relationship, and how both shared the mutual trust and love in each other. He revealed every single point, and how Jungkook made him feel. Even though, back then, he was younger and smaller than him. Kookie was the only one that understood him and stood by his side. 

Jimin was sharing all these intimate moments that he had with his dongsaeng, while he didn’t recognize how Taehyung was smiling widely about the way he mentioned cute little habits that Jungkook possessed and even the grimaces he once did to cheer him up. Talking about these habits eventually helped Jimin to overcome his tension about this topic. 

“I told you that he stopped replying, remember?" 

Taehyung still extremely interested and who seemingly forgot that he had schoolwork to do, nodded while rubbing his thumb on Jimin’s outer hand. 

"Well, that’s not the entire truth… I was the one who stopped replying to him." 

His friend was in point of fact a bit surprised, but he wasn’t angry or disappointed. More rather he wondered why Jimin did that to be exact. 

"It’s just so complicated. He was writing to me about his hardships and I had this weird feeling that I couldn’t help him out. I also missed him so much and every time I would start a new letter my hands always mindlessly wrote the words "just come back home Jungkook-ah, hyung misses you”. Even though it was selfish of me. Then I–”

He finally gained the courage to look his friends in the eye. “I just stopped replying whatsoever.“ 

Now, it was over. He said everything completely honest and every single word that was spoken came out of his heart. The desperate wish that Taehyung would understand was still booming in his head.  

"Jimin-ah… That’s okay." 

Was everything that came out from his better half. And even that seemed enough for a second. 

*

It was now time to head home. Taehyung insisted on bringing him and on the way they could order some food. The black-haired boy knew that Jimin wouldn’t eat anything if something was bothering him, and he always remembered how his mom constantly told him that eating some delicious food was always a good way to forget about all the small melancholic things in life. Even if it was just a few hours.

"Let’s order some chicken with some beer. That’s perfect for this ugly weather." 

Even though it was blazing hot yesterday, today it was heavily raining. Without Taehyung’s umbrella they sure as hell would have a problem. 

After their conversation, Taehyung wanted to actually strangle Jimin for even thinking he would end this friendship just because of some idol boy. He made some jokes to cheer him up, and told him numerous times that it was alright. There was a solid reason why he didn’t write back, and if there was ever going to be a moment where Jungkook and Jimin eventually meet, from the way Jimin was describing him, Jungkook would understand.

"I just want to let this go, you know. But I don’t know if screaming out of my lungs or breaking stuff will help me.” Jimin stated sadly, while nibbling on his fried chicken. He actually was hungry, but eating was exhausting to him. 

All he had in his mind was Jungkook.

In one picture, little Jungkook who was crying and repeatedly asking why he abandoned him, and in a different picture there was Jungkook, all grown up, ignoring him on purpose and burning all the letters that he ever sent to him. 

“This might be a super stupid idea… But how about you write him a letter, telling him in all details what happened ? Like, why you stopped writing back and stuff." 

In all honesty, that sounded like a good idea to the blond. He can imagine how just writing down the words "I’m sorry” will clear up his guilty conscience. There was also no possible way that Jungkook would read it, either way. He was such a popular idol nowadays, he definitely received tons of letters every day. 

“No, I actually think that may help me…" 

Taehyung gifted his best friend a boxy smile while he put some fried chicken on his own plate. He always had a strong appetite. Looking at his friend eat so happily made Jimin full in a second. 

"When you finish writing, send me your letter if you want.”

Jimin looked at him like a scared puppy. How could he possibly show him this side of himself? All sensitive and vulnerable? 

He would rather stab himself. 

“No, that’s fine. I’ll just write what comes to mind and send it." 

Taehyung gave him a thumbs up with a pout. A cute habit he had while eating. Jimin smiled brightly and gave him one of his fried chicken that was sitting on his plate for some time. Eating wouldn’t calm down his stomach, which was now full of little butterflies. 

*

03:00 am.

Jimin was laying on the wooden floor. Slightly banging his head repeatedly against the tile, hoping something good will pop up in his brain.

As soon as Taehyung left, Jimin mindlessly, started to walk around his little apartment. Wishing with every step, for something good to pop out of his head, maybe some artistic poetic words? A simple sorry wouldn’t be enough, that’s all he knew.

Just like that, time passed. 

Jimin didn’t know what to say. He was too inflicted with himself and thought that no matter what he wrote, he could never be forgiven. Right there at this moment he wondered what Jungkook did right now. It was definitely ridiculously hard to be an idol, especially nowadays where K-Pop started to go viral around the globe. 

When he was younger, he always imagined while writing letters to his younger friend, what Jungkook was doing right at that moment. Back then it felt like the letter was even more sincere. 

So, what did he think Jungkook was doing right now?

He imagined him playing around with his guitar or game till sunrise. Jungkook was always a night owl, staying up pretty late and coping with the fact that he rarely slept. Even though he would feel how his eyelids start to fall on their own, he would still stubbornly, force himself to stay awake. That was something they both had in common. 

The older one remembered the times where he would sit in front of his house trying desperately to finish off his homework, while the younger one would walk up to him all ninja style and annoy him with questions. All of it happening at midnight of course. 

The desperate wish of Jimin was that Jungkook was still like, well.. Jungkook. 

Humble, adorable, funny, dorky.

As he thought of his past love, he immediately grabbed his pen and wrote down a sincere letter. Being honest with him, telling him how his life went these couple of years,  finishing off with a confession, that the younger once always wanted to hear him say:

"I once wholeheartedly loved you, and I still do." 

*

"Aw damn.." 

Hoseok stared at him like the emoji with the big eyes, that was perfectly matching to him. Jimin finally had the guts to confess to his other friends what actually really happened, and surprisingly they were all super nice about it. 

Deep down, he knew they would understand. However, it still made him happy to see that they were so invested in his little complicated love story. 

"You could literally make a whole movie about this…?” Jin stated while looking afar and making a weird gesture, implying a camera. “It would be like "The Notebook” just reversed.“ 

"I don’t really want to see this in movie theatres though, that would just be weird." 

Namjoon always acted a bit awkward when it came to romantic stories or even love stories in general. He would always listen to their stories about their hook-ups or their genuine crushes, but he never gave a weird noise off himself, like a high-pitched “aww” or something, that he thought something was cut. Just simply listened, maybe gave some advice, and then he would go on correcting Jin on his bullshit. 

Classic Namjoon’s.

"I don’t even think he will write back or something… I wrote him, yeah that’s true.. But I don’t expect a reply." 

All his friends at the table stared him down. Ready to kick his small little ass. 

"Jimin you stupid fucking moron.” He glared at the pale boy who was finally eager to state his own opinion on this. 

Min Yoongi in his whole presence. 

Just a few minutes ago, he was all uninterested, poking in his salad and asking random people for advice on a history exam he had in a few hours. Likewise, Jimin also tried not to give two shits about his advice whatsoever. So why did he suddenly catch interest in it? 

“If you really think he wouldn’t reply, then that makes you again the weaker person." 

Trying not to look too engrossed, he gave his leftover fries to Taehyung’s girlfriend, Jess, who happily devoured them. He was absolutely good at avoiding eye contact, his hyung could try everything to lock eyes with him but he would never let him. 

"You described him as the nice, funny and understanding guy. Do you really think he didn’t wait every day for you to write him back?" 

Fuck, he had a point there. Rather than giving in, Jimin rolled his eyes and continued to stroke his untouched burger with his index finger. "I don’t know. There might be a chance that he changed." 

Yoongi’s little scoff was loud enough to witness and in the corner of his eye he could see him resting his hand on his forehead. His face screaming: absolutely irritated. 

"How would you know? You might haven’t even changed at all? What kind of hypocrisy is it in making yourself believe that he changed just because he got his share of fame? Have a little trust in him, would you?" 

Now Jimin started to get a bit frustrated. What did he even expect from him in the first place? That he would wait all day till the mail arrives and then cry his eyes out after realising Jungkook didn’t write back? He was not even expecting that, so why should he drive himself into doing it? 

"Hyung how about you mind your own business, huh?" 

Yoongi rolled his eyes, grabbed his notes and backpack while staring at him in disbelief before leaving.

The atmosphere now was absolutely awkward.

"I know you don’t wanna hear this… But Mister Min has a point there.”

Hoseok broke the silence. Thankfully, all the others sighed in relief and nodded their heads.

“Have a bit of trust in him. I’m not saying that you should wait for him every day to write you back or something. But just…”

His lips closed, teeth clenched, and his eyes twitched due to him urging them to close. Waiting for his brain to come up with a good word.

“Patience!”

He screamed, pointing at the confused Jimin who was now sliding back into his seat. Extremely embarrassed.

“Sorry.” He chortled. “Was I too loud?”

Tae brushed it off by making a gesture to make him continue his started speech.

“Anyways… You need to stay patient. Find a balance. Don’t be too disappointed every day, but also don’t give up on him. Give him his time.”

Everyone who was seated, slowly started to get up either going to classes or getting back to the dorms. Except for Jimin and Taehyung.

Jimin’s best friend was just staring at him. Hoping to see some kind of change of heart. He wanted the best for him, after all Jimin was always there for him too.

“And?”

Taehyung broke off the silence once again, while coughing the word out.

The blonde-haired boy peeled off the etiquette on his “Gatorade” bottle, and just nodded. What else should he even do at this point. 

He knew that they were actually saying the right thing. Even Yoongi hyung. Nevertheless, it was hard to stay calm about it. Jungkook was always someone he wanted to be close with, but he never had the guts to do something about it. Not to mention, playing it off, telling himself that it was just a kindergarten crush. When in reality it wasn’t.

“Stay strong dude. See you later?”

Giving him just one last little pat on the shoulder, he left.

Letting Jimin drown alone in his thoughts.

*

And like that the days went by. Pretty quickly, even Jimin needed to admit to that. 

College, work, hanging out with friends. All of that. Everyday.

Jungkook creeping up in his thoughts here and there, but never to such an extent as he expected. When he ate something, whereas he knew that Jungkook once loved too, he would think of him for a brief moment. And that was all. Smiling for a bit and then erasing him from his thoughts for the rest of the day. After days full of insomnia and lack of appetite… Finally, he felt like he could let go. 

It turned out that it was easier for him to let Kook go, even though he was sure that there was simply no chance that he would have read the letter the older wrote for him. 

Still… something about just writing his thoughts on a sheet of paper made him feel absolutely relieved. 

It felt like he sent these feelings and honest thoughts to Jungkook. Just in a weird and telepathic way. 

“Do you have the notes from that one lecture… uhm.. where we talked about 'The Catcher in the Rye’?”

As always Taehyung was grabbing Jimin back into reality. 

“Huh?" 

Jimin took his airpods out of his ears. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, confused as to what he wanted from him. 

They always studied together, especially when it came to the exams from Mr. Kim. Even though he was extremely awesome and an outstanding professor, he also expected thrice as much. 

Taehyung grabbed his notes, that were uhm… not really there? 

Jimin chuckled, going through his hair while searching for that one specific lecture where Kim was discussing Holden Caulfield’s character and if anyone felt the same as him in a specific time in their life. The blonde remembered that he was discussing with him a lot about that issue yet being careful about touching any parts that matched Holden’s character to his. 

He loved analysing the characters, and deep down he also loved to take a harsh comparison to them with himself. 

Holden was such a free nature, he never listened or cared about his environment and what they thought was the right thing for him. He just did what he needed to do, maybe even exaggerating a bit, in the process of finding himself. 

Jimin was actually the counterpart of him. He always cared and wanted to be accepted by his friends and family. Mentally, however he also felt like Holden. Trapped in a society where you needed to fulfil someone else’s dream, or someone else’s path. But what if one’s path was different? What if he doesn’t want to go to school, be an ace student and marry some women and create his own family? What if he just wants to do his own thing? Concentrating on just being happy? 

"Here we go.” He handed his friend a perfect 5-piece sheet of notes of all the analysing points Kim addressed. Just as Taehyung was grabbing the notes, his eyes started to glitter full of relief. 

“What would I ever do without you Jimin-ah!” Jimin winked at him, while offering him some honey butter chips. “You would terribly suffer.” He replied while trying to imitate a darker voice.  

Like that, they continued their work, helping each other out if there were some specific questions, reading out the passages of J. D. Salinger’s novel, and repeating all the points Kim addressed. 

“Ah shit.” Taehyung looked at his phone, quickly packing up his things and closing his MacBook. 

Jimin smiled, he forgot the time once again and realised he needed to go to some date with Jess. 

Typical Taehyung. 

“Hurry up or I’ll snitch on Jess the next time and make you bad!” Jimin replied quite happily, while smacking his friend’s ass with his book. 

“Dude don’t. That woman will stare at me with her medusa eyes!” He continued while grabbing things with a rushing panic, throwing it into his bag. 

Of course, it was all jokes and fun, and Jess would always forgive him no matter what. Due to Taehyung being extremely loveable of course. They had the best relationship, Jimin could think of. Both were the most amazing human beings, and their relationship was so healthy. He wished that one day, he would meet that one person too. And fell head over heels for someone. Hopefully once again. In the near future. 

“Ah Jiminie…" 

Jimin, who was still laying on his bed, looked over to the door frame where Taehyung was standing and still in the process of wearing his shoes. 

"I’m so happy that you are doing better." 

Jimin just smiled lightly as a reply, waving with his hand, indicating that he should leave already. A quick "love you, bye!” and then he was gone. 

The blonde went back into laying on his stomach, grabbing the novel. It looked horrible, completely read out and crinkled. Showing how much, he actually loved it. 

Just like that, the late afternoon turned into an early night. 

Taehyung came along with him after a lecture they visited together. They both ordered food, as always, and then started to switch their notes. Of course, Jimin was more thorough when it came to writing notes, but it didn’t bother him at all to help his friend out. Tae was amazingly good at analysing. Thoughts that he never imagined would come up in Tae’s brain in an instant. 

Such an intelligent but absolutely lazy boy. 

Now it was already past 8pm. The thought of needing to eat was alarming in the back of his head. But he was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. 

After a quick search, he found a single pack of Ramen. He quickly put the pot on the stove and waited till the water heated up. 

Suddenly, he heard someone knocking on his door. 

His doorbell stopped working for some reason, so therefore his friends would just message him that they were there. Taehyung was the only one who would knock, but first, he was already gone and secondly, he had a weird knocking style.

He would abuse his door as a percussion to be exact.

“Who is it?” He anxiously raised his voice a little. But still no reaction. 

“Whoever that may be. Can you just tell me who you are?" 

Still no reaction. After a while, the person started to knock again. 

Jimin was prepared for moments like these. He quickly grabbed a pretty unsharp butter knife and put his ear on the cheap door. He could swear he heard someone snickering. His heartbeat was increasing rapidly. 

One hand was wandering from the door to the knob, while the other held tightly the grip on the knife. 

Slowly he opened the door, his heart stopping momentarily, after seeing someone who seemed to be dressed completely in black. 

Thank god, the person had some great taste though that’s for sure.

First he saw the shoes, just some plain black converse chucks, then his eyes wandered up to the person’s pants. Also black, with some chains dangling around the area where the pockets were. Once he found his way to the person’s torso, the man was grabbing him by his arms. 

The smaller one from both of them, who seemingly was Jimin, started to shut down his eyes. Completely terrified. 

"Hyung? Can you just stop the games and look me straight in the eye?” The taller man broke the silent awkward atmosphere. 

For some reason, the voice sounded so familiar but at the same time completely foreign. 

Jimin opened his eyes slowly, looking up to the man, still squinting. 

“It’s me. Jungkookie." 

*

Silence. 

Awkwardness…

Now sitting in front of each other, Jimin felt completely bamboozled. 

Was this some reality show? 

"Your tea is getting cold… there..” Jimin raised his index finger and aimed for the little teacup. 

“Ah yeah. That’s fine. I’m not really here to drink tea to be honest." 

The younger one, took a sip from his tea while staring, confidently, at the older one. 

Jimin quickly looked away, feeling how his heart started to go crazy in his chest. 

"Hyung, how have you been?” Jungkook came closer to him, dragging the chair as close as possible to the table, staring at the nervous hands of the older one. 

“Nothing much. Just college stuff." 

Biting on his under lip, he realised how happy he felt but at the same time his guilt started to come back and nagged on his intestines. 

"Oh hyung.” Jungkook rolled his eyes while grabbing Jimin’s tiny hands. It was an unexpected gesture. Kook’s hands however, were so warm. Jimin’s hands in comparison were freezing cold. Jimin realised that he appeased himself more.

“I’m sorry, Kookie…" 

Here he was. Sitting in front of him. Holding his hands, as if he was the one that fucked up. Even though it needed to be the other way around. 

"I fucked up.”

He couldn’t handle the emotions that were starting to tear him apart. The complete opposite sides of emotions were clashing with each other, overwhelming him. Happiness on one hand, since Jungkook finally found his way back to him, but sadness because he felt like he did not deserve it. Relief, as it seemed like Jungkook came back to accept his letter, but on the other hand also guilt. Since it was not fair of him to believe that he would gladly do that. 

“Hyung…” Jungkook’s grip on Jimin’s hands was tighter now and while he looked at him, smiling softly, seeing the tears flowing down on the pale skin of the older one, he couldn’t overcome his heart bursting. Seeing him like this was not his aim. Not at all. 

Jungkook closed his eyes, pulling Jimin’s hands closer to him. Dragging him softly to him, so that Jimin had no choice but to slightly get dragged up on the table. 

Softly, he kissed Jimin’s hands. Making Jimin just sob even louder than he was before. 

“No, you didn’t.” Jungkook’s voice broke. 

Jimin looked at him. Frightened that he made him cry as well.

The black-haired boy was still covering his face with Jimin’s hands. It felt so natural, and there was no sign of weirdness in the air. Something about this touch felt too familiar. 

And then he realised…

When they were younger, Jimin would always grab Kookie’s hands and lay them on his cheeks. It was something he always did when Kookie would run behind him before school. And quickly, Kookie would turn silent. Acting shy. 

What both never really knew was, that both of their hearts were beating strongly. Together. 

“I’m so sorry too." 

Finally looking up from the older’s hands. "I missed you a lot." 

Jimin smiled. Standing up, while still having Jungkook’s hands intertwined with his. Jungkook followed his action, also standing up. The height difference made him chuckle even more. And quickly like that the tears were forgotten. 

"I missed you so much.” Jimin replied, while falling onto the younger’s chest. 

So many years, both of them were silently loving each other. Trying to forget, trying to erase all the memories. But it was impossible. And now both of them were here, standing in Jimin’s crappy apartment holding each other in their arms and forgetting the hurtful years that they lived without each other. 

“But wait a second!” Jungkook broke away from the hug, quickly wiping his tears, and then grabbing Jimin’s hand once again. 

“Hmm let’s take a look…" 

"Aw come on. Really? Still, to this day?" 

Jimin just chuckled, while Jungkook was testing out if his pinkie was finally taller than Jimin’s. And of course, it was. There was no need to even look. Jungkook’s hands were enormous in comparison to Jimin’s tiny hands. 

"You know what that means?" 

The blonde just laughed and quickly hit the younger one’s chest rapidly. 

"First we need to have some dates. Don’t you think?" 

Jungkook rolled his eyes, while dragging the younger one back into his arms. "So many problems along the way. Horrible!” He joked, while grabbing Jimin’s head softly, dragging him onto his chest.

The older one took the chance to take in the beautiful smell of Jungkook. It was hard to describe, something sweet but in the same way not extremely intrusive. Rather delicate, soft. He could swear somewhere while smelling it, he could sense… lavender? And in an absolute weird way… He swore that he also smelt the only perfume his mom would wear back then. 

While his head was still dug into Jungkook’s chest, he felt how his eyes formed tears once again. He felt like he smelt all the mesmerizing things again that was once everyday life. Jungkook smelt like Busan, like his dog “Doraemon” and like all the cherry popsicles they both blissfully devoured. 

He smelt like home. 

Jimin realised how much he missed his hometown. He had the urge to go back and just relive everything with Kookie. 

All these thoughts rushed into his mind, and it made him feel hopeful for the future. 

He looked up to the black haired boy who was still snickering cutely, and Jimin had the urge to poke his cheeks. He was so adorable, the way he smiled, had the same impact on him like a single shot of soju. It loosened his nerves and he felt like he wasn’t as tense anymore. 

He had a feeling that he could fight every problem that would come to tackle him, eye to eye. 

“Do you want to stay overnight?" 

Jimin silently asked. Wishing he would accept his offer. 

Jungkook hugged him even tighter, as if Jimin would run away from him, if he said no. "I wish I could say yes… But I can’t. Not today." 

Jimin nodded, while poking his nose against the younger’s hard chest. "I cannot wait till you can." 

*

The light of the sun was shining through the thin curtain. Sun rays tickling the blonde’s face, waking him up softly. 

Jimin was confused. It was already morning? He would normally wake up in between his restless sleep, sometimes he would even lay in bed and stop wishing for sleep. Just accepting that he won’t sleep. 

His dear old friend insomnia. 

However, yesterday was different. He fell asleep right there, as if somebody were using a remote controlling him. Pushing the "off” button. 

It felt like weeks where Jimin was last sleeping peacefully. It was a relieving feeling. No headache was awaiting him, or the urge to chug down  5 cups of coffee to get through the day. 

Of course his problems were still awaiting him nonetheless. Yet the anxiety… was on a way lower level. He felt like he could easily confront his frustration as well as his insecurities. 

He was hopeful. 

And just as that, he realised how much time he actually had left. Enough to take a longer shower, and even enough to eat a little breakfast. 

Normally “breakfast” wasn’t included in his life. Time was always running, and he rarely had time to dress up. 

Today was an exception whatsoever.

While making him a little breakfast that included coffee, eggs some tomatoes and bread his phone vibrated quite aggressively on the kitchen counter. 

Quickly, he grabbed his phone, at the same time also trying to manage his eggs who were really close to burning. 

“Jimin-ssi, did you sleep well? I want to see you. Let’s meet up shouldn’t we? I will be there next to you sooner or later. Wait for me. I want to surprise you.”

P.S: Also here is a little something for you :3" 

Jungkook always drew little sketches back then in Busan, and would deliver it to Jimin in all different ways. It was a cute habit, and Jimin was sure he still had the sketches somewhere in a box. 

The sketch that Kook drew this time, involved someone who seemed to smile shyly. His cheeks were all smudgy, probably on purpose to give it a cute look. The eyes of that person were covered by someone else’s hands. Who that person was, is not known. You couldn’t really see the body of that person, just the hands that were caressing the smiling person’s eyes. 

The person was no one other than Jimin himself. 

He was awed by how good Jungkook’s sketch looked. It was drawn quickly, but he seemed to work on the details after the first outline. Like the smudged grey pencil stains on the cheek, or the shadows that he must’ve drawn quickly afterwards. 

It made him feel cherished. 

Jungkook took the time out of his own busy life to draw this little painting of them, and it made him fall even more in love with him.

* “Damn, Jimin is everything alright?” Jin went through Jimin’s blonde hair, then caressing his forehead checking as if he had high temperature. In return he rolled his eyes trying to push Jin’s hands away. “He seems so cheerful and motivated today? He even contributed to Ms. Hwang’s class… Puhhh..!” Jess dropped her backpack on the table and continued to rub her temples. Ms. Hwang was an old grumpy lady who wasn’t born to teach at all. There was no respect to her students whatsoever and anything that she liked, was mostly the same opinion she had, or people who just kissed her ass for the sweet extra credit. A horrible prof, how it should be presented in the dictionary. “I don’t know. It’s just nice. I feel like things are getting better for me… I don’t know..?” One by one, everyone started to take a seat. As if they telepathically saw Jimin with good mood, and couldn’t believe it. “So how is Jungkook?” Yoongi asked, quite interested. That was completely shocking to anyone who sat at the table, they looked at him as if they were worried. “You really care?” Jimin asked, once again avoiding eye contact. “Yup. I wouldn’t ask, if I didn’t care.” He grabbed an apple and bit into it, directly looking at the younger boy. “He is absolutely amazing." 

* After spending some quality time with his friends, he was preparing himself to go back to work. Normally Taehyung would join him, just keeping an eye on him and spending some alone time with his friend. Today however, Jimin told him that it was fine. That he did not need to come along with him. Jimin always felt bad for needing Taehyung in such an excessive manner. His best friend had a girlfriend and he should spend some quality time with her too. They both were heavily interested in art, therefore Jimin gave them two tickets for a well-known atelier opening that one of his classmates gifted him. Jimin helped that particular classmate out with a literature exam once, so he wanted to thank him in return with them. They both deserved it. They were always there for him, now it was time for Jimin to give back. As soon as he started his work, he became even more relaxed than he already was. He wished that this feeling… Being hopeful about the future… would eventually stay. Jungkook was also a big part of it, it felt like he showed him all the good parts of life, and he welcomed that. One by one all the known customers were starting to give their order. Normally, there wouldn’t be that many new customers, the cafe was near college and it was mostly either college kids who want to work peacefully or the elderly who want to kill time. All in all, pretty peaceful. Today, however, there was someone wanting to take an order that Jimin never met before. He tried to remember but there was no way that he knew that person. That specific person was wearing glasses and a bucket hat, wearing completely black. After working on that order and putting it onto the glass counter in front of that unknown person, he heard a familiar giggle. Jeon Jungkook. Of course. "Oh my god. What are you doing here? Isn’t that a bit too risky?!” Jimin whispered while nervously taking the money from Kook. “That’s all fine. People rarely look at me, when I come with this attire.” He responded while showing off his clothes. Jimin couldn’t contain a snicker. 

What a stupid idiot he was…

“Is that what you meant with 'surprise’?" 

"No, my surprise is actually a picnic in Han river. I wanted to see you. That’s all.” The blonde couldn’t stop himself from putting his hand on his chest. His heart pounded loudly, and this time it didn’t come from panicking. “When?" 

"Whenever. I don’t have any schedules today and tomorrow. I just had a comeback a few weeks ago. It was simple, so the promotions aren’t that long. My company is also pretty nice and let me take some days off.” Jungkook took his food, without even looking back and waiting for an answer, he quickly sat down on the next best table. Of course it was a table that was right next to Jimin.  The blonde rolled his eyes, yet wholeheartedly accepting the risk that they both put themselves into. He trusted Jungkook, and he felt happy to be next to him. 

*

Looking at the old clock right next to his working space, he realised that his shift was ending sooner than he expected. “Ready to go to the picnic?” He asked Kook who was still managing to look like he was reading. “Finished already?” He quickly put down his book, his grimace looking like he was so disappointed that he needed to stop reading. “Do you know that you are an idiot?” Jimin responded with a slightly rougher tone. Jungkook smiled while taking off his sunglasses, even though he still wore a mask, Jimin could see the skin next to his eyes wrinkling. Without a proper response, he gently grabbed Jimin’s hands and put back his sunglasses on. And like that both left the establishment, making the customers question themselves who that good-looking man was, who has Jimin wrapped around his little finger. * “Ughh, I’m so full…” Jimin stroked his stomach, while looking at the leftover food. It was nearing the end of the day, and he realised how today felt like a quick catch of breath. The whole time, they were spending together, seemed to be packed in indulging their childhood and missing the time where they couldn’t be one. “Really? Already? You were always a bad eater..!” Jungkook responded while quickly grabbing the leftover spring rolls and tteokbokki. “It’s so good to dib it into the sauce, ahh you’re missing out.” “I really did.” Jimin said to himself while looking at the hungry Jungkook devouring the last bit of food. He closed his eyes and felt how fresh the wind was feeling on his skin. The night was still young, but he already felt how tired he actually was. This day was an improvement to the last couple of weeks. But he knew that he needed to improve more; to be the person he always yearned to be. For some it might feel far-fetched to say that Jungkook was the reason why Jimin felt better. And maybe it even was. Nevertheless, wasn’t it normal when specific people in your life made you feel better about yourself? Wasn’t it the case in a healthy relationship ? “Thank you, Jungkookie.” The black-haired boy was looking up from his food, midst slurping his noodles. Tilting his head like a confused puppy. Jimin caressed the crumbles on the corner of his lips away, and locked eyes with his lover. Jungkook quickly finished his noodles, before coming closer to the blonde. Jimin took this as a chance to grab Kook’s chin to face him again. And there it was. The soft shy smile the younger, once gifted him. Right there at that moment, Jimin knew what he wanted. “I love you.” It was as simple as that. Jimin pecked Jungkook’s lips softly, tasting like all the sweet promises they gave each other. “I thought you would never say that.” Jungkook replied while kissing him right back. A bit rougher, but still soft enough. Without them even realising it, the sun went down, both of them finally admitting their deep-rooted history. Waiting for such a long time, made the kiss even sweeter, Jimin thought to himself. Sometimes you find people in a state of life, when you need them the most. And sometimes the people who were once your hope, come back and decide to stay all over again. They both kissed for such a long time that Jimin didn’t notice how his phone was vibrating aggressively on the blanket underneath them. Until finally Jungkook let go of the kiss, smiling shyly while pointing at the phone that was still annoying the peaceful state they were in. “You wanna take it?” “Ughhh.. who is the cockblocker, do I need to kill him…” Jimin whispered more to himself, while grabbing his phone and checking the messages. “Ah fuck, I completely forgot..” Jimin stood up quickly, searching for his keys and bag. While Jungkook was still sitting on the blanket, cross-legged, patiently waiting for him to give a proper response. “My friends have that night where we all meet up at our favorite bar to drink and eat while talking about all the shit we went through. We mostly do that once in a month.” Jungkook raised his eyebrows, still looking at the confused and panicking Jimin. “It’s okay, if you need to go. I’ll clean this up and we meet up tomorrow?” Jimin laughed, acting like it was the dumbest idea he heard. “No, no, no. Sir! You are coming with me. You will meet them!” Jungkook quickly stood up from the blanket and looked at him all shocked. His doe-like eyes widened. “Already?” Jimin nodded, quickly cleaning their little spot and putting the plastic into the next close trash can. “They will love you! They are a bit chaotic but that’s actually endearing, trust me!” He grabbed Jungkook’s hand and dragged him with him. This is going to be an interesting night, that’s for sure…

*

The club where they meet up once in a month was the city’s hottest place. Every college kid wanted to spend their Friday nights there, it was heavily crowded, therefore you mostly needed to reserve a table beforehand. That job was actually Jin’s, but he usually forgets, so thus Joon took over. Whenever a month was coming to an end, they all meet up, talk about their experiences and drown their worries with alcohol. It was a tradition all of them enjoyed. And Jimin knew that they all wanted to get to know Jungkook, so why not now? “Ah, I heard of this place.” Jungkook screamed, now wearing his whole attire again, hoping to prevent any potential fans catching him. He hoped he could get a glimpse of Jimin’s friend group, who told him a lot of things about them but it was so crowded that it was extremely hard. “They are all up there, we have an own lounge. So you don’t need to wear all of this!” Jimin screamed back, the music was too loud down there and he was happy when he could meet his friends soon. The younger was obedient and let himself drag around the club, while looking at all the different things that were happening. Jimin couldn’t contain a smile, Jungkook was so precious. “Guys! HEY!” Jimin first saw Yoongi, then Hoseok then all the others. They were all dressed fancily, and Jimin quickly felt like he was way underdressed. “Oh, hey guys!” Hoseok catched that both of the boys were still holding hands, and quickly smiled brightly. “You need to be Jungkook?” Jimin saw his look so he quickly let go, feeling embarrassed. His face rapidly getting tomato red. Jungkook quickly took off his mask, bucket hat and glasses with one hand, while the other was still shamelessly taking a hold onto Jimin’s waist. Which made Jimin blush even more. “Yes, I am. Hello!” He bowed, and went back into holding Jimin’s waist. The others were all smiling brightly, indeed happy about the outcome of Jimin’s known backstory with him. “Take a seat. You are the youngest, so you don’t need to buy anything!” Jin quickly chimed in, while pointing at the free seats next to Taehyung and Jess who were both laughing uncontrollably. Gosh how he hated his best friends sometimes. “So you are Jimin’s boyfriend?” Yoongi dropped the bomb as soon as they were taking a seat and Jimin wished he didn’t choose to come. It must’ve been so uncomfortable to Jungkook. 

Because it sure as hell was for him. Besides, both of them didn’t really talk about being officially together, what made the situation way more awkward. “Yes. I am. As long as Jimin is content with that decision?” He quickly looked at Jimin who was shocked. Here was dominant boyfriend Jungkook again. Jimin felt how his cheeks were burning. He just nodded. Not knowing how else to reply with. The black-haired boy was now freely putting his arm around his now “boyfriend”. It felt surreal to be called that way. And even though it wasn’t really romantic how he asked him, it still felt amazing that he did it in front of his friends. The closest people to him. He wasn’t even doubting this question one bit. “Ah okay. That’s nice to hear.” Yoongi responded softly, while still keeping his eyes on Jungkook. He was protective of Jimin, everybody knew that. However, something about Yoongi looking at Jungkook that way, made everyone accept Jungkook even more: Yoongi smiled. He smiled while looking at the youngest of the batch, accepting it fully. As long as Yoongi was accepting of someone, everybody else in their group of friends trusted that person as well. 

Kind of like the mom of group. The couple of hours they all spent together was magical. It felt like Jungkook always was a part of the group, his humor was the same kind as that from the group and even Taehyung was happily accepting him as a member of their little squad. Jimin and Jungkook were also the only ones who denied any alcohol. They both were already intoxicated of this beautiful relaxing night, that they didn’t need any of it. Who thought it could be that easy? Jimin definitely didn’t. A couple of weeks ago, he wouldn’t have thought in a million dreams that Jungkook would sit right next to him, an arm around him, kissing him and asking him if he was alright, while all of his friends were present. It was like a fever dream. Just entirely positive. “I think it’s time for us to go. Thank you guys for today.” Jimin openly said to the little group, some already highly drunk while others were nodding happily back. He waved them all goodbye and before he could leave for good, along with Jungkook, there was a hand on his shoulder making him stop. “Hey, wait a minute.” It was Taehyung. “I just wanted to say how happy I am, that you guys met up again. There is nothing as precious as loving and being loved. But never forget…!” His gaze now hit Jungkook, who was severly confused. “If you ever manage to hurt my baby boy here…!” Taehyung, heavily tipsy, laid his head on Jimin’s shoulder, while pointing at Jungkook. Giving him a clear warning. Of course this was absolutely cute and of course no bad feelings were intended. It made the couple chuckle and they both gave him a goodbye hug before they left. On their way to Jimin’s apartment, hand in hand, the older realised what actually happened today. Also in what kind of head space he also was. It wasn’t perfect, here and there he still tried to control his anxiety but he felt better, he felt hopeful. They both talked for a while, after arriving at Jimin’s little home and continued to giggle about the response Jimin’s friends gave them. The butterflies that once annoyed Jimin when he thought of Jungkook, were now fluttering inside his stomach again. Now, however, he was accepting it. Completely intoxicated by love, for once he welcomed the future that was awaiting him. * The next morning started like the day before. The sunlight was dancing once again on Jimin’s face, welcoming him for today. He opened his eyes, trying to cover his eyes with his small little hand. Next to him, his boyfriend. Still sleeping peacefully, eyes twitching here and there. “Kook-ah..” Jimin softly whispered while kissing him all over his face. Covering him, with tiny little smooches. 

“Hmmm..”

There was not really a response, but Jimin smiled whatsoever. He loved sleepy Kookie. He was even more adorable in this state.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” He said like a mantra, finally making Kook respond with the biggest smile. “Say it once more!” Jimin shook his head, acting like he was angry, ready to jump off the bed. “Hey, say it again..!” Kook quickly grabbed Jimin by his waist dragging him back to bed, kissing him directly on the lips. “You are the only one that tastes still so sweet in the morning, how are you doing that?” Jimin chuckled while kissing him right back.

There are so many obstacles that are awaiting me…

The anxiety will maybe never leave me…

And the uncertain feelings about the future will probably continue to haunt me…

I have a long way to go… But with you it seems like a quick walk to the store…

#btswriterscollective #armiesnet #bangtanarmynet #networkbangtan #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #jikook fanfiction #jikook fluff #jikook angst #jimin angst #jungkook fluff #jimin fluff #jungkook fanfic #jimin fanfic #jikook #mine

[shinwhoohoo]

hello lovely person, i come to your inbox seeking solace and the permission to rant about the eternally frustrating mess that is bana twitter. i'm so infuriated by delulu ot5 stans spamming a3 asking for reunion pics w j and b and demanding that they include those 2 in the official anniversary celebrations bc j&b ""deserve" it like??? where do they get their sense of entitlement from lmao i don't get it. and really, why should a3 bear the onus of asking them to join the celebrations when the other 2 have given no indication that they wish to do so in the first place like they literally left the group and no longer associate themselves with it (and no ig bios don't count people) what's not clicking?

it honestly makes me more pissed at the 2 who left (jy in particular) bc they refuse to make a clean break. wm also had a part to play in it ofc bc they didn't release an unequivocal statement about their departure from the group (altho they did say b1a4 will only be promoting as 3 going forward so idk how anyone misinterpret it) but what irks me is that jy never really acknowledged the fact that he left (at least baro wrote a nice letter thanking bana and a3). he keeps stringing his fans along by making empty promises about future reunions and!!!i hate that he won't change his ig bio or twitter header and whatever else it is that convinces people that "his heart lies w b1a4". i hate that he does all this but a3 still have to bear the brunt of the criticism from their fandom even tho they've been working their asses off to give us quality music (jinthoven who, producer cnu owns my heart now) and wholesome content (how precious was b1a4 arcade) to make up for their perceived sins against bana.

sorry this spiralled out of control, haven't used my tumblr in ages but i feel like migrating back bc bana twt is bad for my blood pressure. hope you have a nice day!

Two things real quick:

1. You always have permission to rant here to please do so whenever you feel like it~!! 😁 2. PLEASE COME BACK TO TUMBLR WE NEED YOU BACK IT’S SO MUCH NICER AS A BANA PLEASE 🙏

Ok now that that’s out of the way lol, wow 10/10, 💯, like god I really have nothing else to even add? Perfect rant, perfect points, all completely 100% factual points, that some people just don’t seem to like to address or acknowledge in their ‘OT5′ comments. But the thing is, all of this is true!!

What bothers me the most about the whole OT3/OT5 argument basically comes down to two points:

1. Those spewing OT5 Forever on their personal accounts is one thing. I’ve always said everyone is entitled to their own feelings about this, and I can respect we have our differences. However, going to A3′s accounts, to their VLive, and commenting and spamming posts about Baro and Jinyoung and ‘Oh, What does THIS MEAN that Jinyoung posted to the B1A4 VLIVE?? What DOES IT MEAN that Baro posted a pic holding a BANA CUP?!!? I MISS B1A4 AS FIVE’ and it’s like... let’s actually take a breath. Jinyoung’s incident was obviously a mistake, one that he hasn’t even addressed. Baro admittedly has liked a few B1A4 posts here and there, with this most recent insta upload the most ‘vocal’ he’s been regarding B1A4. But does it mean they are going to magically appear for the 10th anniversary? Not at all. There is absolutely no connection between these events. And to try and make such a connection is clearly going out of your way to try and create something that isn’t there because you want it to happen. Not because you are looking at the facts and the comments that the members who are actually, actively in B1A4 have made, but because you are overlooking what they have said, and what WM Ent has said, to fit your agenda. And to go and post these wishes and hopes on their official accounts, or even worse, Shindeulchan’s personal social media accounts, especially given how THEY expressed how they felt about the split, well damn. I think that’s cruel tbh. But yet we’re the nasty ones for not acknowledging bayoung...

2. ... which brings me to the other main point that irks me. Just because I am not currently an ‘OT5′ fanatic, again, given what we KNOW TO BE TRUE!!! (Basically most of which you’ve already listed-- WM’s statement of B1A4 continuing AS THREE, Sandeul and CNU’s comments and feelings they have made on guest show appearances, their fanmeet, the B1A4 Documentary+, etc., not to mention Baro’s statement, and even Jinyoung’s, which mentions about looking forward into the future if they should all come back again, in addition to the dead silence Jinyoung has been about bipo since then) but just because some of us aren’t ‘OT5′ given all that, DOESN’T MEAN WE’RE AGAINST BARO OR JINYOUNG!! like that pisses me off so much, this ‘divide’ that is being made... It’s like no, I just respect the feelings of the members who are actually here more so than wishing for something to happen that isn’t going to any time soon, like sorry that upsets you. And guess what, I still will always adore Baro and Jinyoung. I still wish the best for them. And if/when the time comes that they want to come back, and A3 accepts them back (because again, it’s up to THEM, not the ‘OT5′ fans!!) I will 100% be happy and grateful to see B1A4 as five. But until then, I will support Baro and Jinyoung in their solo efforts, and B1A4 as three, for all that they do and have done to make the transition from 5 to 3 easier for us.

lmao I love how I’m like ‘oh your ask was great I have nothing to say’ then go and write an essay. Well, I am nothing if not on brand with my word vomit.

Thanks for this anon, as you can tell it lit a fire under my ass lol. I don’t think I’ve been this vocal about it all in a while~

#i'm curious if there's anyone deep in the ot5 pool on here like i don't want to chase you away and if anything i'd be interested to hear if #there is actually any argument for there side #cause i just can't see it #b1a4 #jinyoung #baro #cnu #sandeul #gongchan #shindeulchan #ot5 #wm entertainment #text #ask #reply #but for real those 'b1a4 will always be 5 comments are the worst' it's like you do realize b1a4 is currently three so how can they always #be 5 and in saying so you are completely ignoring then everything cnu sd and gc have done and are doing to #push through their own sadness and feelings to come back for US #like god it's selfish

[my-arlington-academia]

Cliffany part 2

O-kay, and that’s it! I don’t know if I’ll write a continuation tbh since it was just a silly little idea that came out of nowhere. (Although I did have some ideas for more!) I haven’t really been active on my fanblog lately so it’s not like it’ll make much of a difference though haha. By the way, I’m thinking about making my blog more "Dulcet-oriented" rather than just SE. I hope you guys don’t mind? Recently, I’ve been getting more and more into Black Tarot! So expect my blog to change a lil 🔮🕯🌌

--------------------

It had been a couple of days now since Tiffany’s last interaction with Claire, and while she was still ignoring her like before, Tiffany’s efforts in doing so had increased. The moment she spotted her in the corner of her eye, she would move at a faster pace, as if running away. Was it guilt after all? No, she just didn’t have the energy to deal with Claire’s annoying and unnecessary empathy. The empathy that she knew she didn’t deserve which made her feel even more frustrated towards Claire.

All she should be worried about right now is getting more followers on Instaglam, not avoiding a nobody like the plague. On that note, spring was coming soon, the flowers started to blossom and the days were getting longer which meant... that the "cottagecore" tag on insta would go trending soon, no doubt! And of course, living on the Arlington campus as one of its students, this gave Tiffany the access to its beautiful garden. Although honestly, she only ever went there to take pictures and this time wasn’t any different. She had prepared some tea sets and dresses for the occasion, all of which she would throw away once spring went away along with its "trends."

Carried by her confident footsteps, she walked to the garden. That confidence was only a facade though. She knew exactly what kind of people and who in particular went to take strolls quite often in this goddamn garden. But hey, it was 7pm and the sun would soon start to set. Knowing that Claire always arrives 15 minutes in advance to any meeting and most likely always wakes up at 6am, there was nothing to be worried about. Chances are, she was either doing her homework before going to bed like a goody-two-shoes or watering her weird-ass plants. Tiffany always had the horror of seeing these at Raquel’s parties. It just didn’t fit at all with the rest of what was going on in the room and ruined the whole "party" vibe.

In any case, there she was, searching for a good spot to take pictures and set up a fake picnic. That basket filled with different colored blankets, tea sets, biscuits, tea and a pie was way heavier than Tiffany had initially thought. Maybe she really should’ve asked for collab pictures with Trisha from the fine arts department. She didn’t really like her but when it came to follower count they were surprisingly close, although Tiffany was still number one of course. Still, if she had asked for a collab they could’ve carried those heavy props together.

After finding a good spot next to the pond, Tiffany set everything up in an aesthetically pleasing manner and got down to taking the pictures. She was taking different shots to post them one by one throughout the week and give out the illusion that she was taking those the same day she posted them. She was ready to upload the first one, call it a day and go back to the dorms without touching any of the tea or cakes. It’s all just useless calories anyways. As she was putting the tags on the picture, she started wondering what were the names of those flowers in the background.

"Ugh, fuck. What are those orange shits called again?"

"Marigolds."

"Ah right, thank y-"

Tiffany immediately snapped her head back. This annoyingly gentle voice could only belong to one person.

"...What the fuck, Claire. Where did you pop out from?!"

There’s no was she was there the whole time, right? It’s true that Tiffany could get lost in what she was doing once she was focused but it wasn’t to the point where she became completely unaware of her surroundings.

"I came by a few minutes ago... Y-you looked so invested in what you were doing that I didn’t want to bother you! I didn’t mean to pry."

Well, Tiffany could always upload those damn pictures from her room. Claire’s arrival just meant that it was time for her to leave. However, seeing that Tiffany started packing up her things, Claire panicked thinking that it’s her fault. Which was in fact, her fault... in a way.

"O-oh! You’re not going to finish your picnic? I’m so sorry, I’ll just leave! Throwing all of this good food away would be such a waste-"

"Are you fucking dumb?"

Did she not get that this was all only a set-up for taking pictures? It was obvious that Tiffany didn’t have any intention of eating or drinking any of that. Not to mention that after everything that happened the other day, she was still not scared of approaching her?

"I don’t give a damn about the food, it was just for my social media accounts you dumb bit- ... dimwit. I was already done anyway so you don’t have anything to do with the fact that I’m leaving."

"I see! T-then maybe I can help?!"

Help? What did Claire even know about- Actually, on second thought. This whole "cottagecore" shtick was a great fit for Claire. She probably already had all of the things Tiffany bought last week for those pictures, even better and more authentic-looking ones probably. This was maybe the one and only time Tiffany would let Claire "help" her. But from her point of view, she was mostly just using her.

"Hm. Is that so? How can you help me then... Claire."

"Wait just a second! I’ll be back right away!!!"

She ran immediately towards the dorms. Well, she'll probably bring a bunch of random stuff. In the end, Tiffany was really torn between the idea of staying and waiting for who knows how long and the idea of leaving right now. Surely, Claire would make a hilarious expression when she’d realize that she was played with and abandoned. While trying to laugh it off, Tiffany accidentally remembered what happened a few days ago, along with Claire’s crying face. Damn... Okay, fine. She’ll wait for her but only because it would be annoying if she bawled again like a damn toddler.

And so she waited until, from the corner of her eyes, she saw a girl with a pink dress running towards her. That girl, of course, being Claire. She carried a picnic basket with her too, but much bigger and more practical. For half a second, Tiffany thought that Claire actually looked maybe, just maybe, a little bit pretty. She erased the thought in a hurry, covering it with harsh words as usual.

"Wh-why did you change your clothes? You think I’m gonna take pictures of you?"

"Ah, no, well..."

Claire looked at the beautiful picnic set-up and the cyan dress Tiffany was wearing.

"I just wanted to fit in with the rest of what you put up, I guess. Also, don’t you think that we kinda match? I brought some of the cookies I baked and my favorite teas and tea set. I think mine will look better with your picnic blanket! Uh- N-not to say that yours looks bad!!!"

She was trying so hard to make herself likable that it was painful to see... and kinda cute. God, Tiffany was really hating her thoughts today. She was just going soft because of Claire’s aura or something. Again, this was definitely the first and last time she was letting Claire help her with anything. I’d be bad if she turns completely brain-dead and clueless like her.

"...Whatever. Show me what you got. I’ll decide if it’s good enough."

Claire was pulling everything out of the basket one by one. Everytime, better and better items were pulled out after the other. Her cakes and cookies gave off a "homey" feeling which was more fitting with the aesthetic rather than Tiffany’s store bought patisseries. Claire was staring at her, wide-eyed and excited.

"W-what do you think, Tiffany? It looks good, doesn’t it?!"

"Uh. Yeah, it’s fine, I guess. I’ll take a few pics."

That was a lie. This looked so much better than the try-hard bullshit Tiffany had done. She was good at riding on the "trend wave" but Claire was a natural when it came to this one specific thing. Tiffany was trying to look as poker-faced as she could so as to not show her satisfaction, but clearly, her apparent enthusiasm for each shot was  betraying her. Sometimes, she would accidentally take one with Claire in the shot and ask her to move.

"Hey. You’re ruining the picture with your ugly fac- dress. Move to the right."

Before Tiffany could even do anything about it, Claire was already pouring some tea into 2 cups.

"Woah woah woah, put the teapot down. I didn’t agree to this."

"But...This is a kettle, Tiffany. Not a teapot."

"Oh, shut it!"

Claire gave off such a dejected face that Tiffany, once again, felt like she was kicking a poor puppy to the ground. She held back on going off on a rant.

"But we’re already here and the weather is so nice! It would be such a shame not to use any of this at all..."

Claire looked around, observing this beautiful setting, not to mention, the sun was finally starting to set. Going home right now would be like an insult to the utter beauty of this scene, it almost looked like it came right out of a fairy tale picture book. Without mulling it over any further, Tiffany took a sip out of her cup.

"I’m only doing this because I feel compelled to, got it?"

Claire’s eyes lit up nonetheless.

"Alright! Please try out my cookies too!"

Tiffany contemplated them for a second... is it true that home-made stuff is more healthy? Surely, that’s just a myth, right? A cake from the store and a home-made cake will have about the same amount of sugar in them regardless of who made them and how. Well, she did see Claire share her food from time to time with her friends and while she would never admit it, it is true that she was a bit curious about trying them herself. What was the last time she had eaten anything "home-made"? Or did it ever even happen?

"...Okay, whatever. I bet they taste shitty."

Tiffany reluctantly took a bite... It was surprisingly really delicious!

"It’s bad."

"R-really?"

As much as she wanted to lie about it, she couldn’t after seeing Claire make that dejected face again.

"Uhhh. No, um. Hmm... On second thought, it’s pretty average. It’s okay-ish."

Tiffany really hated herself right now. Being mean has never been this hard before. She couldn’t wait for the moment where they would be done with this ridiculous play-pretend and go back to her room. She tried drinking and eating as fast as she could without making it look like she was in a hurry to run away from this awkward situation. And God, it was so fucking hard...

Unsurprisingly, they were both pretty silent the whole time. Well, it wasn’t like they had anything to converse about or things in common. Right as Tiffany was about to get up and pack up her belongings, for real this time, Claire spoke up. Nervously fiddling with the hem of her dress.

"Um. So you know, I have something to confess to you, Tiffany."

Oh God, not now. As much as Tiffany found this timing annoying, she couldn’t help but poke fun at that poor choice of words.

"Confess? Oh my, so you like me in that way, huh? That explains everything."

"Wha- N-no! That’s not it! I mean, realistically speaking, t-that would never even happen!"

Was she implying that she could never like someone like Tiffany? Well, Tiffany herself was the one who brought this up but she was a bit offended at that statement. Regardless though, the way she was trying to deny it so hard was kinda cute. No. Not cute at all! If this went on, Tiffany would really become crazy before the end of this day.

"Last time, you said that I was only being kind towards others to profit off of them and I didn’t say anything but... that wasn’t true at all! I always wanted to help you because I thought that you needed it, I swear. Not to satisfy myself! ... Well. Except maybe..."

"Except...?"

"T-today. I admit that I kind of had ulterior motives."

Now that piqued Tiffany’s curiousness right away. Suddenly, she didn’t want to leave as much anymore if it meant that Claire would finally admit that she did some things for her own benefit. Why was it? Did she want to post a picture of herself on Tiffany’s Instaglam to fish for compliments, knowing that she had a lot of followers? Claire hid her face behind her hands and muttered a few words.

"I... wanted you to warm up to me."

"...Huh?"

That’s it? That was it? Claire’s ulterior motive was for Tiffany to "warm up to her."?

"So like, you want us to be friends or some shit?"

"Oh no! Not necessarily that far, just... good acquaintances!"

Is she stupid? There’s no way that she genuinely thinks those "motives" are bad. Tiffany sighed in exasperation.

"Listen. I’m just really tired right now, I don’t have the energy to assimilate all the shit you’re saying. I’m packing all of this up and going back to the dorms."

In complete silence, they gathered all of their belongings and walked to the dorms while keeping a fair distance between the 2 of them. As if to say, "we’ve got nothing to do with each other." Surprisingly, Claire didn’t try anything anymore. Didn’t even wish for a "good night" or a "good evening" which was weird to say the least. Tiffany tried to ignore it and when she got back and unpacked all of the props, she noticed something that didn’t belong to her. One of Claire’s lunch boxes with cookies in them and... a note?

Here’s my number just in case ;3 Please give me my lunchbox back once you’re done eating the cookies!♡

"...Your note makes me wanna barf."

So that’s why she didn’t try anything. That sneaky little... she must've slid that into the basket when they were packing. She already knew that Tiffany would eventually be forced to talk to her again... as if! Who says she’ll return it? She can just throw all the cookies away along with the box... Or so she thought. Tempted, she took a bite, then another one. And another one. Her diet was ruined for sure now. Damn you Claire and your stupidly great cooking skills, as if you needed another skill to be better and more perfect than you already are. Tiffany put the box away, trying to forget the delicious taste and smell. Back to Instaglam she goes. Uploading the picture while adding the "marigold" tag on it. Going through the pictures again, she noticed that some of them had Claire in the corner. She was thinking of deleting them but... well whatever. She can just crop her out later if needed. Her dress looks pretty so it’s fine even if she does appear in the pictures. All we see is a bit of her hair, as long as her face isn’t visible, it’s okay. Yup. It was totally not because Tiffany was slowly starting to feel something towards the girl she was trying so hard not to get involved with.

#sweet elite #claire durand #tiffany #cliffany #crackship #fanfics

[nickysescapism]

is the behavior of the cash queens right?

First of all, I should say that in those situations, there is no right or wrong.

Some are annoyed by the behavior of the cashqueens (Ava and Mailin). Some say that it isn’t that big of a deal and that they shouldn’t be so angry anymore since it’s been 2 days already. And that you would be back to normal after this amount of time. But let me tell you...

Everyone is different.

And we also know that Mailin can be very impulsive (like how she reacted after finding out that Ava had contact with someone who had Covid).

We already learned that Ava was passionate about this Abi-thing. She was excited about it since day 1. It really meant much to her. And you could see that.

So imagine something you worked so hard for and that meant so much to you, was ruined by someone you met a few weeks ago. And this person does not only say that she doesn’t care about it, she also leaves you with the problem, without a solution or anything like that.

We know that Nora’s behavior was not herself and she didn't do it on purpose. For them it seemed like disinterest not a symptom of her MI. We also know that Ava deals with fear of loss and that she always suspected Nora of being not interest and annoyed by them. So this was only a confirmation for her bad feelings.

150 Euros were spend on those products, the entire money of the club. The money that gave them their group name and the money that they rescued together. Their first “friendship mission” if you want to call it that.

This project meant so much more to them. Not only did they lose that money (a high amount of money on top of that) but also their reputation. The instas made pretty clear that they did not support them and the rest of the school also didn’t seem too hopeful or understanding. So they (espacially Ava) felt like they had to prove something that they had to show them what they were capable of. And now everybody laughs about them. And the instas got exactly what they wanted. And instead of trying to figure a way out of this (together), Nora just disappears and ignores their messages.

I know that we are in Nora’s head and we know what’s going on and we understand her, but they don’t. They don’t know about her MI and they don’t know about her homelife.

If you remember: Nora fucked up before, when she didn’t send the pic to the company the first time. And they forgave her for that. Ava was pissed and Mailin was also not happy about it. They trusted her to take care of this and she did. Or so they thought. And just as things went back to normal, they found out that Nora sent the wrong picture. So it wasn’t a “one time thing”.

For them it looks like Nora just couldn’t care less. She fucked up and then left without doing anything. She even told them that she didn’t care at all. So what do you think is going on in their minds? They feel betrayed by her and they feel let down and like she only played with them. When we are hurt, we usually don’t spent much time thinking about other’s. We don’t wonder: What could’ve caused them to do this? Maybe they didn’t intend to hurt me. Maybe there is something wrong and I should help them.

Of course they are going to be angry. And that anger won’t vanish just because a few days go by. I think that they will only forgive her, when she tells them what happened. They seemed to be quite understanding (e. g. when she said that she wasn’t drinking, when she ditched them on Halloween, etc.) So they normally are pretty open minded and understanding. They aren't the bad guys here.

I hate to pull this card but: they are teenagers. It doesn't justify everything, but you have to understand that their emotions can run a bit high. So yeah, I would be pretty pissed off too.

It’s not only about the money. It’s about everything else too. They spent days and planned this for over a week. They developed this friendship so fast but didn’t know each other that well. So how should they know that this wasn’t Nora’s normal behavior, but her MI? That this isn’t really Nora and that all of that is actually quite out of character for her. How should they know, when her own sister doesn't know?

I think it’s just important to look at this from every perspective not only from Nora’s. and try to be understanding. Because that’s what Druck (and Skam) is about.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. So do with that what you want.

.

Edit: After today's clip I have to say that my opinion still stands. Nothing has changed. But I think that Ava talking about Nora in third person was incredibly rude. Don't do that. You automatically exclude them from the discussion.

#druck #just me rambling after being emotional over this clip #i wonder how much hell week we get until it's finally getting better #the cash queens also seem to break apart a little #probably delete later

[elliepassmore]

Children of Blood and Bone review

4.5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: magic, fantasy, non-Western fantasy, multiple POVs, A Song of Wraiths and Ruins I really liked the worldbuilding and thought the world was very vibrant. I liked that the story took us to multiple different places so we got to see a wide range of Orïsha's environments and people. Adeyemi did a good job of incorporating maji/diviners-kosidan relationships into each location so that they felt realistic. One town might have a mix of both where the maji/diviners get shaken down by the guards in a 'normal' way while the next might be brutal for the maji/diviners, and yet another might treat them as relative equals. The way the guards treated the maji/diviners was also realistic, unfortunately, and you can definitely see the influences of real-world laws and actions in the ones present in Orïsha. The magic system overall makes sense and I don't think it needs a ton of explaining: diviners as baby!maji who will get their powers from one of the gods/esses at age 13, the magic is usually passed through the maternal line so kids tend to have the same kind of magic as the mom's, and there are chants/prayers/incantations to the gods that allow the magic to flow. Simple enough. However, the incantations end up getting a bit tricky later on in the book. For one, we pretty much always see Zelie using incantations when she calls her magic, but some of the other magic-using characters are never mentioned as using incantations. While some of them, like Zélie, probably remember a few from before the Raid, that can't be true for all of them, especially ones who are too young or who get a power that doesn't correspond with one their parent had. So that bit felt a little rushed, but overall I liked the magic system in the book and Zélie's way of describing magic was interesting. As for Zélie herself: she's got a fire in her and she's determined to get things done, even if she sometimes doubts her abilities to lead. She balances herself quite well between being afraid of the guards and retaliation and rebellion, and generally seems to keep a good balance, though I do have to agree with Tzain that sometimes she does stuff without thinking. I particularly liked how much joy she took from her diviner/maji heritage and her awareness that simply living her heritage was rebellion within itself. There was a bit toward the end where she was getting doubtful about magic which was kind of confusing since she'd also used magic to fight and for more debatable reasons, but whatever. Overall I liked her character. With Amari I was kind of lost at first as to how people could call her a badass, but I definitely get it now. I'll will admit that I didn't and still don't see how she and Zelie are such great friends. Friends, definitely. But best friends? I don't think they're there yet. Something I definitely appreciate about Amari was how willing she was to learn. Some of the things she came into contact with once outside the palace scared her, but she was open to explanations and other perspectives, which was great considering her upbringing (and considering Inan's chapters). I feel like Amari really came into herself in the second half of the book. She finally gets a chance to fight for something she believes in and I think it helped transform her character from someone who shied away from the blade she knew how to use to someone who would wield a sword to defend herself and others. I could definitely see her becoming a commander of some kind in the future, though I'm not entirely sure if 'queen' suits her (I am not entirely certain the title 'ruler' suits anyone in this book). Inan is the last POV character and he was...he was a lot. Amari and Zelie are definitely my favorites, but Inan is someone I could probably do with having less page time. This boy has zero convictions of his own and is completely unable to look past his nose. Unlike Amari, he continues to believe his father's words even traveling around and doesn't really spare a second thought to how reality might actually be. The one thing I'll say in his defense is that Amari did have Binta growing up and was able to see that at least one diviner wasn't bad, which I do think helped for her to generalize this idea to other diviners/maji, whereas Inan didn't have a figure like that in his life. But enough of that. Inan is wishy-washy and swings one way then the other (though never completely all the way), and he is far too willing to return to his old ideals when things get challenging or scary. I mean, for fuck's sake he isn't even really the one suffering most of these times and is still all too ready to give up. Like, please grow a spine, buddy. I do think Adeyemi actually did a really good job of writing Inan in the sense that she manages to capture the effects abuse and gaslighting and show just how much of an effect those things can have on your psyche. So in that sense Inan was a 'good' character, but I don't think he's a good person nor do I like him. Tzain was someone whom I felt was in the background for a lot of the book. He supports Zelie and is willing to go off with her to do all these things and protects her and stands by her even when she fucks up. He is also able to be nice to Amari despite her being the princess and the daughter of the man who caused a lot of his problems. From what we do see of him Tzain seems to have a good sense of humor and is funny at times. He's also clearly holding in a lot of pain, trauma, and responsibility, though he rarely shows it. I definitely think he feels responsible for his father and Zelie and that whenever something bad happens to either of them he feels guilty, even if there was nothing he could've done. While he blames Zélie for a lot of things, which I don't like AT ALL but at the same time understand needing to direct your anger somewhere, I get the feeling he's mostly blaming himself. In terms of relationships. Someone please explain to me why there needed to be any in this book in the first place? Inan and Zélie are the main pairing, which is just dumb af since he wants to kill her for almost the entirety of the book then, after like two whole days of being together, they decide everything's fine and dandy and start kissing. I side with Tzain on this one, even if his phrasing wasn't great. I'll be honest, the Zélie and Inan's whole relationship just confuses me. I don't understand why they like each other other than 'insta-love' and I don't understand 1) why Zélie's willing to Risk It All after Inan being nice for two days, and 2) why she's willing to continue the relationship after what happens with Saran. Perhaps my biggest issue with them is Inan's so-called love wherein he thinks taking away magic will protect Zélie...completely ignoring the fact that part of Zélie is magic. *SPOILER, SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH TO AVOID* That complete and utter dumbass doesn't seem to connect the fact that he stopped feeling Zélie's soul when Zélie stopped feeling magic. Like? Brains? No brains here. *SPOILER END* Okay, moving on. Tzain and Amari have better prospects for romance. Adeyemi set them up from the very beginning, even if Tzain might've initially seen her as a pretty face. They grow to like and respect for one another and I feel like their relationship could actually go somewhere. But why, why oh why does Adeyemi make Amari mention the L-word? Like, honey, you are not in love with this boy after only knowing him a week. Crush, sure. Love, no. But that matters not, since there is at least the potential. Actually, something re: relationships that I felt Adeyemi kind of brushed over (and it seems like other reviews also had this same thought) has to do with Amari. She is very much coded to be bi and it's written as if she and Binta had a romantic relationship, but Adeyemi never follows through with this. I honestly thought that Amari and Zelie were going to be the main pairing of the book at first, or failing that that Amari would have feelings for Zélie, Zélie wouldn't reciprocate, then Amari would move on to another female character. But nope. Nada. I mean, Tzain's good too, but it's just weird the way the whole thing with Amari's romantic interest(s) was/were written. Now onto something else: the throne. While becoming the next ruler isn't an outright object for either Inan or Amari (or anyone else), being heir definitely sits on Inan's shoulders and drives a lot of what he does. Likewise, Amari comes to the realization that if she were the next on the throne she could help the diviners/maji and overturn the laws and the system that her father created. The current king, Saran, sucks all around and definitely doesn't deserve his head being attached to his body. But we already knew that. The point is, Inan is clearly not good for Orïsha because he can't form his own convictions and leans solely on what he's been taught to think is right. He does, however, think he is the only person who can keep Orïsha safe and protected. Amari, on the other hand, knows she won't be queen and doesn't seem to really want to be queen until she realized what that could mean for what she believes in. However, and there's always a 'however,' she also kind of has Mad Queen Energy about her at times after she makes this decision. She is, in my opinion, also not a great contender for the throne. As mentioned, I think she'd make a great general, but there's something about her that makes me hesitate before supporting her bid for the throne. Do I think she'd be better than Saran or Inan? Absolutely. But probably so would Yemi, that doesn't mean she should get the throne. Perhaps I am merely feeling particularly democratic today, but I don't believe an absolute monarch will help Orïsha. If we are being realistic, I don't even know if a democratic one would either, but power in the hands of a diverse many would probably be better than power in the hands of one. Overall I enjoyed the story. I thought the plot was good and I enjoyed going with the characters as they (mostly) struggled to get magic back. Inan served to be a good character for demonstrating how our childhood can influence the kind of people we become and also serves as a nice foil to Amari, who has decided to be the opposite of her brother. Zélie is a good character to follow since she's so alive. She's got so much rage and love and fear and fire that pushes her every step of the way and helps her overcome so many things. I knocked off half a star for the frivolous reason that I don't like Inan and Zélie's romance and don't think it was necessary for the book. I'll be honest, the book was great, it was tough for me to put down even when I needed to, but for some reason I just don't have any desire to find out what happens in the next one. It's a bit like A Song of Wraiths and Ruin like that for me. I just...don't feel it. I don't think it has anything to do with either book since I couldn't make myself finish reading a new book by one of my favorite authors even though I was enjoying it so...just that kind of year, I suppose.

#book #book review #booklr #tomi adeyemi #children of blood and bone #zelie adebola #magic #fantasy #ya fantasy #characters of color #multiple pov #non-western fantasy