#IT'S THE BATMOBILE

[violent138]

#Look at that smirk #he knows full well you're gonna regret trash talking his car #batman #zero year #the batmobile #IT'S THE BATMOBILE #dc comics #Bruce Wayne #gotham

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

I always have to smile at myself when I read a fanfic in which Bruce immediately catches Jason after he hits with his tire iron.

I get why fanfic writers do it, so they can move the plot along without having to write the chase after Jason or the scene when they do talk in the condemned building that Jason sleeps in. I get it.

But I always have to think about canon then.

Because not only did Jason manage to run away from Batman.

He also called him a 'big boob'.

I repeat. He gets caught jacking the tires. Tries to deny it. Hits Batman with a tire iron, runs away and insults him.

This 12-year old did something that every rogue would never even dream of.

#dc #dc comics #dc fanfic #fanfiction #batman #batfam #batman comics #jason todd #batmobile #batfamily #batdad #the batman #jason peter todd #robin!jason #robin #robin ii #comics #comic #detective comics

[thealexanderfiles]

#batfam #batman #dc comics #dc universe #bruce wayne #tim drake #batmobile

[nakathemoth]

Constantine honest to god thought a child had just been struck by lightning and died by his side

#I WANTED TO DRAW MY TOP THREE DC BOYS INTERACTING SOMEHOW #dont ask me why bruce is standing in the rain waiting for the bus. Something happened. Jason took the batmobile I dont know #anyways neither of them remembered to bring an umbrella. billy to the rescue #DC #my art #shazam #billy batson #batman #bruce wayne #constantine #john constantine #fanart

[deadsetobsessions]

Danny’s Wayne adoption bait. The guy that owns the bodega knows it. Everyone and their mothers knows it. Danny, on the other hand, had no clue. To be fair, he had just crash landed in this dimension a week ago and his back was still sore from the weird design the car had.

(It’s only three weeks of homelessness later does Danny realize that he crash landed on the Batmobile. Whoops. Oh well. He’ll blame it on Clockwork if the vigilante asks after repair costs.)

(Bruce, on the other hand, is scouring the streets for this kid the car cams caught- oddly static filled footage- because his mind jumped to the worst case scenarios: a suicidal meta or a meta being threatened or a meta in a trafficking scheme or even worse all three at once and Bruce just can’t because there is a child in danger, he doesn’t have time to sleep.)

Danny rubbed at his back, eyes going watery at the memory. Sure, his wounds have healed over by now but the- heh- phantom pain is no joke. He shuddered, huddling closer to his threadbare hoodie. His only saving grace from getting jumped while walking the streets of Gotham at night is his invisibility and intangibility. Also, he’s floating, so “walking” doesn’t apply to him.

He’s gotta check on the kid he saved yesterday from a mugging, so Danny hurried along to the depilated apartment complex the kid was squatting in. Turning visible and tangible as he turns the corner, Danny glanced around for Amy.

“Danny!”

“Hey, kiddo. Doing alright?”

“Yeah! Come meet my gang!”

Danny felt his eyebrows rise to form Jazz’s exasperated look. Ouch. Waving the pain of losing Jazz away, Danny smiled at the excited girl.

“A gang? I wasn’t aware I was being brought to your almighty group.”

“Yeah! Uh, you actually helped a bunch of us so…”

Danny thought back to all those times he punted crooks away from robbing kids and shrugged. Yeah, what Amy said was likely.

“Kay, kiddo.”

She scowled, and Danny didn’t have the heart to tell her it looked more like a pout.

“You’re just a teenager.”

“Well, you’re a just a kid.”

Danny cackled as she chased him down the street, trying to kick his shins.

Life is good, even if he’s homeless and hungry.

——

“Jason.”

“Old man.” Jason mocks back, pausing his tasks. He waits as Bruce struggles to put his thoughts and feelings into words.

“There’s… a meta.”

“In Gotham?” Jason tilts back, hands halfway to his guns as a silent offer. Bruce shakes his head.

“A child. In Crime Alley.”

“In my turf?” Jason’s disquieting demeanor quickly swapped to a protective one.

“Trafficking, I think. Male, black hair…”

“Shit. Get Dickwing back here, he’s good with traumatized kids. I’ll go look for him.” Jason’s already moving, mind filtering through the kids he knows might have information to offer.

Bruce nods, shoulders relaxing. Jason smacks down the lump in his throat at the subtle sing of trust. “I’ll get Oracle and Red Robin on it.”

Jason morphs from Jay to Red Hood in one smooth step, helmet firmly placed on his head. He grunts in agreement, slinging his legs over his motorcycle. He roars off, mind half filled with tearing apart whatever traffickers dared to shit near his territory and the other half filled with worry for this possible kid.

——

Danny, as the Bats become aware of his existence, hands Amy and her kiddie gang a bag of fancy beef jerky.

“Try these with peanut butter, it’s kind of good.”

Amy stares at him, the judgement of an eight year old more piercing than anything he’s ever experienced.

“You’re fucking weird-”

“Language!” He squawks.

“-but sure, whatever you say, boss.”

“Boss?!”

The kids ignores his alarmed face.

#danny phantom #batman #dc x dp #bruce wayne #Danny had minions #Danny saved a bunch of kids from two face and now they’ve imprinted on him #like ducklings #Danny: I’ll have a nice vacation #also Danny: fights a villain and saves like a dozen kids #Danny: unionizes the kiddie gangs via peanut butter and beef jerky #Batman: there is a child #red hood: that needs our help! #dc x dp crossover #dp x dc #Danny dents the Batmobile and leaves an IOU #but doesn’t leave the owner a way to contact him

[oifaaa]

People will try to convince you Jason Todd is the impulsive doesn't think before he acts type of guy and its funny bc Jason is almost comedic in how fucking long it actually takes this boy to plan out anything

#dc #dc comics #batman #jason todd #red hood #i mean #i literally cant think of a single universe #were jasons revenge plot #didn't include at least 1 year of planning #jason read the count of monte cristo and decided yes this dude knew what he was doing #even his most impulsive revenge plan #of putting a car bomb under the batmobile #needed so much planning #and then he had to spend hours slowly moving towards it #anyway my point is #i think itd be funny if it was a running gag that all of jasons plans #include just the most ridiculous amount of pre planning

[ironpool99]

#tim drake #dc #batman #batman and robin #batfam #tim drake robin #batmobile #love that he did this tho #robin #red robin #dc robin #robin dc

[adreamfromnevermore]

Headcanon that the Bats must be the most infuriating members of the justice league. And it's got nothing to do with what they do or don't know or even their general skills and egos. Everyone is very used to Batman and the expectation that him and any of his spawn are somehow going to be three steps ahead of any issue they bring to the table ever.

No no, the infuriating bit? The stalking.

Listen, this is a family of freaks and weirdos. They work so well together because none of them were normal to start with and then they ended up traumatized. It's practically common practice in that family to accept that nothing is what it seems at face value and that all of your siblings are attempting to pry into your private life and cases at any given moment. I think for them it's honestly weirder if you take what they say at face value. They speak a language holy separate from any normally socialized person and it is a language of lies and half-truths that relies on the assumption that all parties are aware of that.

They're the most infuriating bitches around.

They'll tell someone something and appear to do the opposite and when confronted will have the most convoluted but sound reasoning of why they actually did exactly as they promised too.

They regularly pick people's pockets and hack into personal information because for them? That's practically a love language. They're obnoxious and they aren't even aware of it. Someone asks them to just tell the truth and they react like they've been shot. They're probably offended when they realize that someone hasn't been at least attempting to dig into them back, like come on man. I thought we were friends but you didn't even Google how long Nightwings been around? We've already put the bar on the floor for you guys? My siblings already have a full dossier ready on you because they caught us on camera in your home city during that 2 minute conversation we had 3 months ago. They sent it to me a few hours later. I think they got Oracle to help cause usually it takes them at least 12 hours.

You think they're being nice and friendly and then you realize that they have a nice little file compiled of everything you've done in the last five years, where you went to school and every note your teachers ever made about your behavior a decade ago when you were still a high schooler and fairly normal. If asked they'd probably be willing to bring out the family tree they built for you. They know what you did last summer better than you know what you did last summer. They have pictures, pictures that should be impossible because there's no way they were stalking you then and those sure don't look like security camera footage.

In reality Bats and Superman get along so well because that man is an investigative journalist and when they first met he could not leave it alone. Bruce was charmed the first time Clark Kent started doggedly attempting to ask him if he knew anything about Gothams new cryptid. It was cute how off base he was. But he was trying!!!! Bruce was sold for life! He dropped an dossier on lexcorp off in Clarks apartment a few days later. As a gift.

#listen Bruce probably made it a training exercise #whoever can name the most heroes by the end of the week #(first and last) #gets bragging rights and a joy ride in the batmobile #batman #dc #bruce wayne #batfamily #clark kent #superman #justice league #robin #tim drake #dick grayson #nightwing #red robin #damian wayne #spoiler #stephanie brown #duke thomas #signal

[martiniluvr]

I just read your NSFW alphabet and hear me out. Jason fucking reader in the batmobile, let the man play out his fantasy

may your harvest be bountiful anon. I was praying someone would ask for this muahaha 😈 you can find the prompt from the nsfw alphabet here ❣️

18+ minors dni

warnings: semi-public but not really 🏎️

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

you should probably have tried to sound a little more appalled when jason todd told you he’d ‘borrowed’ the batmobile, but there was something about the way he was sitting in the driver’s seat, with his red hood mask over his face, and his arm hanging out of the window, that weakened your resolve.

all it took was a cock of his head and a coy, “you gettin’ in, ma?” for your scowl to melt into a giddy smile. that’s how you found yourself here; zig-zagging through traffic in gotham with a barely-reformed crime lord piloting the in the batmobile like it’s a ferrari. sure, piss off batman. what could go wrong?

thankfully, you don’t have time to dwell on the thought as jason’s hand inches up your thigh, slipping under the hem of your short dress. “wanna take a detour?” he asks, and you can practically hear his grin under the mask. you glance over at him with a smirk as he veers off the city’s main motorway, heading towards the old harbour.

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

jason’s large hands knead the soft flesh of your ass harshly as you grind against him on his lap, dragging you along his rock hard length and drawing out another whine from your lips. maybe it’s the knowledge that you’re in the batmobile when you definitely shouldn’t be, maybe it’s that jason is in his full red hood gear, or maybe it’s just because it’s car sex—whatever the reason, there’s a sense of urgency between you that has you both rearing to go now.

you lean back slightly to unbuckle jason’s belt, your back bumping into the steering wheel as your hands move dextrously. “shit, you in a rush, princess?” he chuckles, but you barely hear him. your lower lip is between your teeth as you work fast to free his cock from his boxers, and he hisses in pleasure as you pump him gently, smearing his precum down his shaft. he reaches between your legs to hook his finger around your panties, pulling the gusset to the side.

his green eyes widen as he feels your slick drooling out of you—fuck, you really are in a rush. you align your hips with his again, teasing your entrance with the tip of his cock. in the dim light of the setting sun, he can see the way your eyes flutter shut at the feeling, and it sends heat rushing down his abdomen. you brace yourself on his shoulder with your free hand, sinking down on him gradually. you’re so wet that it only takes a moment to adjust to his size before you’re rocking against him again, and he pulls you back in for another hungry kiss, guiding your hips with his hands.

jason grins as he feels your cunt tightening around him when he brings his fingertips to your clit. “what, already, ma?” he teases, pretending his own release isn’t just moments away. “c’mon, that’s gotta be a new record.” you try to laugh, but he increases the pressure on your clit, and you arch your back as the coil in your belly tightens. shit, you realise, you’re about to cum in the fucking batmobile.

“fuck, jay, I’m so—” you begin, tangling your fingers in his hair. he cuts you off by sucking harshly at the delicate skin of your throat, and instantly you feel the coil snap. you cry out as you convulse around jason’s cock, slumping forward onto his muscular chest with a shiver. the sensation of your walls clamping down on him like a vice makes jason dig his fingers into your flesh as he pumps his own release into you, swearing raggedly as his hips buck.

the batmobile is silent apart from your heavy breaths, and the windows are conspicuously fogged up. you’re glad the harbour is deserted, or rumours might start circulating about what batman gets up to in his free time. jason runs his hands along your back tenderly, laughing to himself. “what?” you ask with a smile, picking your head up off his chest.

“that’s been on the bucket list for a while’,” he grins, and you giggle. you’re about to pull him in for another kiss when an incoming message from bruce wayne that makes your eyes widen lights up the dash. you know there’s a tracker in the car. I suggest you and your guest bring it back now. there’s a pause, and you and jason share a panicked look right as a second message comes through. in good condition.

#jason todd 🤝 defacing the batmobile #his beef with that car…unparalleled #luv u brucie xoxo #jason todd #jason todd smut #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #red hood #red hood smut #red hood x reader #red hood x you #dc comics #batman #batfam #batmobile #fem reader #batboys

[satoshy12]

Phantom Kitten

It all started as the GIW got more brutal in Amity Park. And Jazz wanted to make sure Danny was saved; the test showed just Danny was contaminated by it, not her, his friends, or her parents. So while he talked with her Jazz, to make sure he was saved, she pushed him into the Ghost Zone, into a door, to a different place, timeline, or universe. It didn't matter much, she would find him after all is done with the Booomarang. She should at least talk to him first! Danny woke up. He was de-aged as a toddler in a place called Gotham City. He used his powers to steal small items around the city. What! He had no money for food. To cover up his identity, he took the mask he found with Cat Ears and now calls himself "Kitten". Having Ghost Powers is cheating when you escape.

That was how he met the hero Batman, and Danny was fascinated by the gadgets. So he slowly started to steal his gadgets. The first time Batman met the toddler thief was when Danny tried to steal his Batmobile. Yes, the whole Batmobile. Batman, let the toddler play with it and have a head start... He didn't think that "Kitten" would be able to really steal his car. Danny made Catwoman and Batman determined to catch "Kitten" as they underestimated the adorable ghost's abilities. Catwoman Selina Kyle. Well, he is an adorable kitten, and he goes around as a cat already! And he stole her targets not once not twice but 10 times!!

A/N The Batman who lost the Batmobile can be Dick while Bruce was busy in the JL. Kind of want to see Dick trying to explain how he lost the Batmobile.

#dc #dcau #dc comics #dp #danny phantom #dp x dc #dp + dc #batman #dc x dp #danny fenton #Kitten #de-aged danny #de aged #toddler danny #Selina Kyle #Catwoman #the Mask is Catwoman Injustice one #or Arkham Knight #Batmobile #Batman“ No longer headstarts doesn't matter how old” #Jazz #GIW #Amity Park #Ghost Zone #talk to me first Jazz! #Danny is the Thief Kitten #gotham #Danny stole the Whole Batmobile #The Batman who lost the Batmobile can be Dick while Bruce was busy in the JL #Bruce Wayne

[haleyvalentineart]

BatKids steal the car

#batfam #batkids #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin #batmobile

[georgeromeros]

Batman: The Movie (1966) dir. Leslie H. Martinson

#batman #batmanedit #batman 1966 #batman: the movie #batmobile #dcedit #filmedit #useranimusvox #dcmultiverse #classicfilmblr #classicfilmsource #retrotvblr #my gifs #dc #superhero #1960s #movies

[nerdpoe]

Jason Todd is stealing the tires off of the Batmobile, when a man walks up on him doing it.

The man stares at him, nods, and just says "I'll keep a look out, man, go go go!"

So Jason does, and he gets all four tires with the man's help.

The man introduces himself as Danny Foley, and asks Jason if he wants to go get some burgers.

Danny, meanwhile, has decided that yes. This is the child he will adopt. He just has to convince the kid of that.

Batman has to call in Alfred to bring around his backup vehicle with spare tires, and little Timmy gets some wonderful shots of Batman having to replace his own tires.

@simplestoryteller

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #i prefer the eternal trio #sam and tucker are already waiting at Batburger when Danny comes in with a tiny Jason #they take it in stride #all adult minds went to the same result #“we must adopt this chaos child” #the conversation goes like #“stole the tires off the batmobile you say? nice.” #“are u sure that you'll get the proper price amount for them? do you want me to come along to make sure you do?” #“I can teach you how to evade authorities really well. Like REALLY well. wanna learn?” #Also fuckin batman finding out about tim way sooner #because he heard tim giggling #but he decided to let it slide cuz that's just a kid having some fun #he can always get more tires

[spacedace]

dp x dc prompt/mini blurb thing:

Somewhere along the line, stealing the Batmobile had seemed like the best option.

Elle would stand by that - admittedly short-sighted and kind of panic induced - logic. It was a vehicle that no one would try and stop. It was fast. The keys were in the ignition. Easiest car theft of her life. Or, well, unlife. Whatever. Still the easiest.

She may have forgotten that Superman could fly as fast as the stupid tank of a car could go. Or that Gotham had other vigilantes, that had bikes that were way more maneuverable, or that Billy was a big baby about car chases.

“WATCH THE ROAD!”

“YOU WATCH THE ROAD I’M DRIVING HERE!”

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #dp x dc prompt #Billy Batson #dani phantom #danielle phantom #elle phantom #superman #batman #grand theft batmobile #why are Elle & Billy stealing the batmobile? #no idea #are they old enough to drive? #next question please #why hasn't oracle just remotely taken over the car? #something something godly powers and ghostly interference #Clark is just politely knocking on the driver side window asking Elle to *please pull the car over* #Billy is not actually a baby about car chases Elle just inherited Danny's driving ability #Who inherited his driving skills from Jack #Even the gods are scared

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

A Catfish??

All of the bat children are horrified when they found out the boy Damian has been talking online, someone they were expecting to be a 5’3 twig. Someone who Damian has been crushing on for years turned out to be a 6’3 muscle-bound fucker that makes Jason look small.

They are even more horrified when they realized they never gave Damian the internet talk and for some reason Bruce is not reacting like this is something of concern and what the fuck-?!

The reason Bruce is not freaking out like the rest of his kids is quite simple.

He can see the last of the baby fat clinging to Danny’s face, he notices how even though Danny is a walking tank of a being, he still glances at the doorways like they could not be trusted.

Like he wasn’t used to his height.

No Bruce is not concerned, because all signs and research just points to one fact.

Danny Fenton has came into a Fenton-sized growth spurt.

#now Bruce could clear up the confusion #but the kids did take the Batmobile out on a joyride a week ago #so this can just be a test on their reasoning under familial circumstances #like Bruce did not go out of his way to vet his youngest son’s first crush #dp x dc #writing prompt #danny fenton #danny phantom #dc x dp #jason todd #batman #shipping #dick grayson #tim drake #duke thomas #Cass knows of course #she’s not going to tell #same with babs #Danny a couple months before his visit: Doors suddenly hate me Dami :n; #Damian short king Wayne who likes to be picked up even if he never admits to it #damian: tragic. #the kids saw one photo of Dan and Danny and connected some dots that were never there #dead serious #writting prompt

[vinelark]

i don’t remember if i ever shared this here, but a while ago i posted a little twitter thread about bats and gas station snacks and some very talented podficcers made a podfic of it! 🎧

[podfic] Jersey Vigilantes Don't Pump Gas by isweedan & reena_jenkins

original thread (text under the cut):

nested tweet reading: ever since i learned gotham is supposed to be in new jersey i can’t get this concept out of my head: [a badly drawn bumper sticker that says “jersey vigilantes don’t pump gas”] / quote tweet reading: the batmobile can’t just slip in and out of a gas station unnoticed. an employee HAS to go fill up the tank. meanwhile the tired night shift cashier knows the various robin eras because they come in to buy different snacks as time goes on.

one night while the manager is out filling *the literal batmobile* the cashier blinks and comes face to face with a child in a leotard and green boots, buying a pack of twizzlers. “thanks!” the first robin calls, somehow vaulting over two rows of shelves on his way out the door.

years later, after a stretch of quiet weeks, a new, curly-haired robin comes in and grabs a bag of flamin hot pepper puffs. the cashier doesn’t even think robin 2 actually likes them, but he looks really satisfied with himself every time he drops them on the counter.

(even after the second robin abruptly stops coming in, the cashier keeps slipping flamin hot pepper puffs onto their order list. no one else ever buys them, but it just—feels like the thing to do, somehow.)

a stretch of months without a robin, oddly tense. then the third robin appears, even smaller than the first two. he slips inside and buys a cup of black coffee and drains it in one go right at the coffee station, nervously eyeing the door like he’s afraid he’ll be caught.

the fourth robin, when she shows up, makes a beeline for the protein bars. finally, the cashier thinks, someone remotely sensible for this line of work. (though maybe not sensible enough—or maybe TOO sensible—because small caffeine robin is back a few months later.)

the fifth robin, when he first appears, approaches the counter. “you will direct me to the best snacks new jersey has to offer,” he tells the cashier.

“uh,” the cashier says. “i like sour patch kids, myself.”

robin 5 nods. “i will take a bag of sour patch children.”

(one night, not much later, red hood strolls through the door. the cashier has lived in gotham for over a decade now; they barely blink, even when nightwing bounds in after him.

“oh, shit, flamin hot pepper puffs,” red hood says. “i haven’t had these in ages.”

“aw, come on,” nightwing says, already holding a pack of twizzlers. “no one else can stand those.”

“why do you think i got them in the first place, dickhead?” red hood says. “to fend off new jersey’s number one snack thief.” and he buys buys every bag in stock.)

#feat. my own terrible art drawn in the notes app of a decade-old ipad #the joke being that you can’t pump your own gas in new jersey #which i’m sure has been joked about plenty before #anyway the podfic is a delight and every once in a while i remember about it and re-listen for a giggle #batfam #my fic #OBVIOUSLY BRUCE HAS HIS OWN GAS PUMP IN THE CAVE #or the batmobile runs on solar (because it’s sustainable and discreet NOT because superman thinks that’s cool) #but: imagine.