#International Talk Like A Pirate Day 2020
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Holidays 1.24
Holidays
BCPB (Black & Can’t Play Basketball) Awareness Day
Bell Let’s Talk Day (Canada)
Bull Day (French Republic)
Change a Pet's Life Day
Colorist Appreciation Day
Economic Liberation Day (Togo)
Fiesta de Ekeko (Bolivia)
Foreign Intelligence Service Day (Ukraine)
Global Belly Laugh Day (at 1:24 pm local time)
Gold Rush Day
Heart to Heart Day
International Day of Education
International Day of the Endangered Lawyer
International Mobile Phone Recycling Day
Juan Pablo Duarte Day (Dominican Republic)
"Just Do It" Day
Macintosh Computer Day
Microwave Oven Day
Minimoog Day
Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day
National ALGS Awareness Day
National Compliment Day
National Girl Child Day (India)
National Heroes Day (Cayman Islands)
National Matthew Day
National Readathon Day
Paul Pitcher Day (UK)
Social Sipping and Nibbling Rehearsal Day
Square Dance Day [also 11.29]
Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day
Tax Ruled Unconstitutional Day
Tricknology Day
TV Game Show Day
Uttar Pradesh Day (India)
World Day for African and Afro-descendant Culture
Zaevion Dobson Day (Tennessee)
Food & Drink Celebrations
Beer Can Day (a.k.a. Beer Can Appreciation Day)
Eskimo Pie Day
National Hot Cereal Day
National Lobster Thermidor Day
National Peanut Butter Day
4th Wednesday in January
Library Shelfie Day [4th Wednesday]
Weedless Wednesday (Canada) [4th Wednesday]
Independence & Related Days
Ziua Unirii (Unification Day of the Romanian Principalities; Romania)
Festivals Beginning January 24, 2024
The Blues of Achilles: Homer Iliad [Annual Raglas Lecture] (San Diego, California)
Iowa Pork Congress (Des Moines, Iowa) [thru 1.25]
Sioux Falls Farm Show (Sioux Falls, Iowa) [thru 1.26]
Sustainable Foods Summit (San Francisco, California) [thru 1.25]
Temple Bar TradFest (Dublin, Ireland) [thru 1.28]
Feast Days
Alacitas (Aymara Indian Pot-Bellied God of Property; Everyday Wicca)
Babylas of Antioch (Christian; Martyr)
Cadoc Day (Wales)
Cat Sacrifice Day (Aix-En Province, France)
Ekeko Festival (God of Abundance; Bolivia) [Lasts 3 Weeks]
Exuperantius of Cingoli (Christian; Saint)
The Fairy-Four Paganalia (Shamanism)
Feast of Our Lady of Peace (Roman Catholic)
Feast of Seed-Time (Feati Sementini; Ancient Rome)
Felician of Foligno (Christian; Martyr)
Francis de Sales (Christian; Saint) [Journalists, Editors, Writers]
Gillis van Coninxloo (Artology)
Invent a God Day (Pastafarian)
John Belushi (Hedonism; Saint)
Jools Holland (Humanism)
Klaatu Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)
Konstantin Bogaevsky (Artology)
Macedonius of Syria (Christian; Saint)
Paganalia: Gaea’s Day (Celebration of the Country Farmer; Pagan)
Pendulum Dowsing to Find Lost Things (Starza Pagan Book of Days)
The Pendragon Legend, by Antal Szerb (Novel; 1934)
Pratulin Martyrs (Greek Catholic Church)
Robert Motherwell (Artology)
Sailing of Bast (Ancient Egypt)
Sementivae begins (Ancient Roman festival honoring Ceres (Goddess of Agriculture) and Tellus (Mother Earth)
Solomon (Positivist; Saint)
Stanley the Mouse (Muppetism)
Suranus of Umbria (Christian; Saint)
Timothy, disciple of St. Paul (Christian; Martyr)
Twrch Trwyth Day (Boar hunted by King Arthur; Celtic Book of Days)
Vasily Surikov (Artology)
Hebrew Calendar Holidays [Begins at Sundown]
Tu BiShvat [14-15 Shevat]
Lucky & Unlucky Days
Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]
Premieres
Alice Foils the Pirates (Disney Cartoon; 1927)
Amerika, by Franz Kafka (Novel; 1927)
Chicago (Film; 2003)
Clement Lorimer, by Angus Reach (Novel; 1848)
The Courier (Film; 2020)
Danse Macabre, by Camille Saint-Saëns (Tone Poem; 1874)
Farewell My Ugly or Knots to You (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S1, Ep. 18; 1960)
Fierce Creatures (Film; 1997)
Go Ask Alice, by Beatrice Sparks (Novel; 1971)
Grand Hotel, by Vicki Baum (Novel; 1929)
The Grapes of Wrath (Film; 1940)
Hairless Hector (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1941)
A Hollywood Detour (Color Rhapsody Cartoon; 1942)
Ideas on the Aesthetics of Music, by Christian Friedrich Daniel Schubert (Essays; 1787)
Jirel of Joiry, by C.L. Moore (Novel; 1934)
Mickey’s Toontown (Disneyland Attraction; 1993)
Mouse-Placed Kitten (WB MM Cartoon; 1959)
My Chauffeur (Film; 1986)
The 19th Hole Club, featuring Al Falfa (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1936)
Noah’s Outing, featuring Al Falfa (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1932)
Pluto’s Playmate (Disney Cartoon; 1941)
Setting Free the Bears, by John Irving (Novel; 1968)
Shift: Third Shift — Pact, by Hugh Howey (Novel; 2013)
Skid Row, by Skid Row (Album; 1989)
Snake in the Gracias (Tijuana Toads Cartoon; 1971)
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (Film; 1948)
21, by Adele (Album; 2011)
Two for the Ripsaw or Goodbye Mr. Chips (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S1, Ep. 17; 1960)
Waco (TV Mini-Series; 2018)
The Will to Meaning: Foundations and Applications of Logotherapy, by Viktor E. Frankl (Philosophy Book; 1969)
Today’s Name Days
Franz, Thurid, Vera (Austria)
Bogoslav, Felicijan, Franjo (Croatia)
Milena (Czech Republic)
Timotheus (Denmark)
Naima, Naimi (Estonia)
Senja (Finland)
François (France)
Bernd, Franz, Thurid, Vera (Germany)
Filon, Polyxene, Polyxeni, Xene, Xeni, Zosimas (Greece)
Timót (Hungary)
Francesco (Italy)
Eglons, Krišs, Ksenija (Latvia)
Artūras, Felicija, Gaivilė, Mažvydas, Šarūnas, Vilgaudas (Lithuania)
Jarl, Joar (Norway)
Chwalibóg, Felicja, Mirogniew, Rafaela, Rafał, Tymoteusz (Poland)
Xenia (Romania)
Timotej (Slovakia)
Francisco, Paz, Xenia (Spain)
Erika (Sweden)
Roxanna, Roxoliana (Ukraine)
Oral, Orel, Tim, Timmy, Timon, Timothy, Vera, Verena (USA)
Today is Also…
Day of Year: Day 24 of 2024; 342 days remaining in the year
ISO: Day 3 of week 4 of 2024
Celtic Tree Calendar: Luis (Rowan) [Day 4 of 28]
Chinese: Month 12 (Yi-Chou), Day 14 (Ding-Hai)
Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)
Hebrew: 14 Shevat 5784
Islamic: 13 Rajab 1445
J Cal: 24 White; Threesday [24 of 30]
Julian: 11 January 2024
Moon: 99%: Waxing Gibbous
Positivist: 24 Moses (1st Month) [Solomon]
Runic Half Month: Peorth (Womb, Dice Cup) [Day 15 of 15]
Season: Winter (Day 35 of 89)
Zodiac: Capricorn (Day 3 of 28)
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Holidays 1.24
Holidays
BCPB (Black & Can’t Play Basketball) Awareness Day
Bell Let’s Talk Day (Canada)
Bull Day (French Republic)
Change a Pet's Life Day
Colorist Appreciation Day
Economic Liberation Day (Togo)
Fiesta de Ekeko (Bolivia)
Foreign Intelligence Service Day (Ukraine)
Global Belly Laugh Day (at 1:24 pm local time)
Gold Rush Day
Heart to Heart Day
International Day of Education
International Day of the Endangered Lawyer
International Mobile Phone Recycling Day
Juan Pablo Duarte Day (Dominican Republic)
"Just Do It" Day
Macintosh Computer Day
Microwave Oven Day
Minimoog Day
Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day
National ALGS Awareness Day
National Compliment Day
National Girl Child Day (India)
National Heroes Day (Cayman Islands)
National Matthew Day
National Readathon Day
Paul Pitcher Day (UK)
Social Sipping and Nibbling Rehearsal Day
Square Dance Day [also 11.29]
Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day
Tax Ruled Unconstitutional Day
Tricknology Day
TV Game Show Day
Uttar Pradesh Day (India)
World Day for African and Afro-descendant Culture
Zaevion Dobson Day (Tennessee)
Food & Drink Celebrations
Beer Can Day (a.k.a. Beer Can Appreciation Day)
Eskimo Pie Day
National Hot Cereal Day
National Lobster Thermidor Day
National Peanut Butter Day
4th Wednesday in January
Library Shelfie Day [4th Wednesday]
Weedless Wednesday (Canada) [4th Wednesday]
Independence & Related Days
Ziua Unirii (Unification Day of the Romanian Principalities; Romania)
Festivals Beginning January 24, 2024
The Blues of Achilles: Homer Iliad [Annual Raglas Lecture] (San Diego, California)
Iowa Pork Congress (Des Moines, Iowa) [thru 1.25]
Sioux Falls Farm Show (Sioux Falls, Iowa) [thru 1.26]
Sustainable Foods Summit (San Francisco, California) [thru 1.25]
Temple Bar TradFest (Dublin, Ireland) [thru 1.28]
Feast Days
Alacitas (Aymara Indian Pot-Bellied God of Property; Everyday Wicca)
Babylas of Antioch (Christian; Martyr)
Cadoc Day (Wales)
Cat Sacrifice Day (Aix-En Province, France)
Ekeko Festival (God of Abundance; Bolivia) [Lasts 3 Weeks]
Exuperantius of Cingoli (Christian; Saint)
The Fairy-Four Paganalia (Shamanism)
Feast of Our Lady of Peace (Roman Catholic)
Feast of Seed-Time (Feati Sementini; Ancient Rome)
Felician of Foligno (Christian; Martyr)
Francis de Sales (Christian; Saint) [Journalists, Editors, Writers]
Gillis van Coninxloo (Artology)
Invent a God Day (Pastafarian)
John Belushi (Hedonism; Saint)
Jools Holland (Humanism)
Klaatu Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)
Konstantin Bogaevsky (Artology)
Macedonius of Syria (Christian; Saint)
Paganalia: Gaea’s Day (Celebration of the Country Farmer; Pagan)
Pendulum Dowsing to Find Lost Things (Starza Pagan Book of Days)
The Pendragon Legend, by Antal Szerb (Novel; 1934)
Pratulin Martyrs (Greek Catholic Church)
Robert Motherwell (Artology)
Sailing of Bast (Ancient Egypt)
Sementivae begins (Ancient Roman festival honoring Ceres (Goddess of Agriculture) and Tellus (Mother Earth)
Solomon (Positivist; Saint)
Stanley the Mouse (Muppetism)
Suranus of Umbria (Christian; Saint)
Timothy, disciple of St. Paul (Christian; Martyr)
Twrch Trwyth Day (Boar hunted by King Arthur; Celtic Book of Days)
Vasily Surikov (Artology)
Hebrew Calendar Holidays [Begins at Sundown]
Tu BiShvat [14-15 Shevat]
Lucky & Unlucky Days
Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]
Premieres
Alice Foils the Pirates (Disney Cartoon; 1927)
Amerika, by Franz Kafka (Novel; 1927)
Chicago (Film; 2003)
Clement Lorimer, by Angus Reach (Novel; 1848)
The Courier (Film; 2020)
Danse Macabre, by Camille Saint-Saëns (Tone Poem; 1874)
Farewell My Ugly or Knots to You (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S1, Ep. 18; 1960)
Fierce Creatures (Film; 1997)
Go Ask Alice, by Beatrice Sparks (Novel; 1971)
Grand Hotel, by Vicki Baum (Novel; 1929)
The Grapes of Wrath (Film; 1940)
Hairless Hector (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1941)
A Hollywood Detour (Color Rhapsody Cartoon; 1942)
Ideas on the Aesthetics of Music, by Christian Friedrich Daniel Schubert (Essays; 1787)
Jirel of Joiry, by C.L. Moore (Novel; 1934)
Mickey’s Toontown (Disneyland Attraction; 1993)
Mouse-Placed Kitten (WB MM Cartoon; 1959)
My Chauffeur (Film; 1986)
The 19th Hole Club, featuring Al Falfa (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1936)
Noah’s Outing, featuring Al Falfa (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1932)
Pluto’s Playmate (Disney Cartoon; 1941)
Setting Free the Bears, by John Irving (Novel; 1968)
Shift: Third Shift — Pact, by Hugh Howey (Novel; 2013)
Skid Row, by Skid Row (Album; 1989)
Snake in the Gracias (Tijuana Toads Cartoon; 1971)
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (Film; 1948)
21, by Adele (Album; 2011)
Two for the Ripsaw or Goodbye Mr. Chips (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S1, Ep. 17; 1960)
Waco (TV Mini-Series; 2018)
The Will to Meaning: Foundations and Applications of Logotherapy, by Viktor E. Frankl (Philosophy Book; 1969)
Today’s Name Days
Franz, Thurid, Vera (Austria)
Bogoslav, Felicijan, Franjo (Croatia)
Milena (Czech Republic)
Timotheus (Denmark)
Naima, Naimi (Estonia)
Senja (Finland)
François (France)
Bernd, Franz, Thurid, Vera (Germany)
Filon, Polyxene, Polyxeni, Xene, Xeni, Zosimas (Greece)
Timót (Hungary)
Francesco (Italy)
Eglons, Krišs, Ksenija (Latvia)
Artūras, Felicija, Gaivilė, Mažvydas, Šarūnas, Vilgaudas (Lithuania)
Jarl, Joar (Norway)
Chwalibóg, Felicja, Mirogniew, Rafaela, Rafał, Tymoteusz (Poland)
Xenia (Romania)
Timotej (Slovakia)
Francisco, Paz, Xenia (Spain)
Erika (Sweden)
Roxanna, Roxoliana (Ukraine)
Oral, Orel, Tim, Timmy, Timon, Timothy, Vera, Verena (USA)
Today is Also…
Day of Year: Day 24 of 2024; 342 days remaining in the year
ISO: Day 3 of week 4 of 2024
Celtic Tree Calendar: Luis (Rowan) [Day 4 of 28]
Chinese: Month 12 (Yi-Chou), Day 14 (Ding-Hai)
Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)
Hebrew: 14 Shevat 5784
Islamic: 13 Rajab 1445
J Cal: 24 White; Threesday [24 of 30]
Julian: 11 January 2024
Moon: 99%: Waxing Gibbous
Positivist: 24 Moses (1st Month) [Solomon]
Runic Half Month: Peorth (Womb, Dice Cup) [Day 15 of 15]
Season: Winter (Day 35 of 89)
Zodiac: Capricorn (Day 3 of 28)
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SMART BOMB
The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis
By Christopher Smart
December 19, 2023
A PSYCHIC, A PROPHET, 'REAL HOUSEWIVES' AND AN EYEPATCH
Holy moly, have you heard the latest about the “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.” They're in Bermuda hanging out together, which is weird when you consider they hate each other. Lucky for us, our old pal Scotty Pierce at The Salt Lake Tribune, keeps us informed: “Monica tells Lisa that Meredith is spreading rumors that Angie is in the Greek mafia and, among other things, owes $170,000 to the IRS.” But wait, there's more fun news: Tim Ballard, the dude who used to run Operation Underground Railroad (OUR) that claims to rescue trafficked children, is up to his neck in alligators and allegations of sexual misconduct and assault. Get this: he hired a psychic to find the trafficked children. So cool. According to investigation documents, Ballard commissioned psychic Janet Russon, who reportedly communicated with Nephi, the Mormon prophet who lived around 600 B.C. For the record, Russon said she didn't talk to Nephi. The whole thing gets rather messy. But not as wacky as the Real Housewives: “For her birthday dinner, Monica wants everyone to dress like a pirate,” Pierce writes. “Whitney has some difficulty with her pirate costume: 'My outfit came with a G string and I thought it was an eyepatch and I put it on.'” You just can't make this stuff up.
STUDY: MORNING PEOPLE HAVE NEANDERTHAL DNA
Hey Wilson, there finally is some real evidence that the guys in the band aren't cavemen. A study reveals that Neanderthals were morning people. We are not making this up. Scientist compared DNA in living humans to genetic material from Neanderthal fossils. The elephant in the room, of course, is how did that Neanderthal DNA get into humans. Yes Wilson, you do know the answer: the old fashioned way, they did the dirty deed. Some time 50,000 or 60,000 years ago your great grandmother-to-the-100thpower got it on with one of those studly redheaded cavemen. But don't say anything to the White Christian Nationalists, it could ruin their day, what with their “pure white people” thing. Creationists, of course, find this Neanderthal stuff crazy — it flies in the face of The Bible. Many of them believe the Earth and all its beings are only 6,000 years old. And after all, if evolution were true, why isn't every other baby born a chimpanzee. But we digress. Homo sapiens appeared about 300,000 years ago in Africa and eventually migrated to Europe where they found our cousins, Homo neanderthalensis, and the prehistoric dating game began. Somewhere around 40,000 years ago Neanderthals disappeared. Maybe that morning person thing isn't all it's cracked up to be, after all.
THE REAL REASON JOE BIDEN SHOULD BE IMPEACHED
You've heard it before: justice delayed is justice denied and that's why Republicans are pushing ahead with an impeachment inquiry into Hunter Biden, er, uh, his father. Democrats say there is nothing there — but wait, there may be evidence that points to something like evidence on Hunter Biden's laptop that he lost when stoned out of his gourd. The president's son snorted and whored his way across Europe throwing his father's name around like a Black Friday close-out to entice big shots to fork over large bucks. Rumors have it the FBI might be hiding evidence of evidence that Hunter got $5 million hidden in a Virgin Mary figurine from a dude with ties to Barisma, a Ukrainian gas company. Barisma, Barisma, Benghazi, Benghazi... The reputed evidence of the smoking Virgin Mary was slipped to the Trump Justice Department by special counsel to President Trump, Secret Agent Rudy Giuliani, after he roamed around eastern European card rooms before the 2020 election. The theoretical evidence of potential evidence is a FD-1023 internal document from a confidential informant who could appear any minute at Hunter Biden's impeachment inquiry. Then Americans will know that Donald Trump isn't the only criminal running for president.
Post script — That's just about going to do it for another smoggy week here in the City of Salt where we keep track of deadly air pollution so you don't have to. Just pretend it's not killing your children and remember Utah's mantra — Growth, Growth, Growth. OK Wilson, the word of the week is Schadenfreude — joy over others misfortune. It popped up following reports that the chairman of the Florida GOP and his wife were having a menage a trois, aka three-way, with another woman. Christian Ziegler and his wife Bridget, who is cofounder of the conservative extremist group Moms for Liberty and sits on the Sarasota School Board, caught the spotlight when the other woman accused Mr. Ziegler of rape. He denied the allegation but the power couple's cover is blown. Darn. Next time we'll review the word, Hypocrite. If you think our morals are slipping, check this out: Mike Johnson, the new speaker of the house, once won a lawsuit that captured $18 million in tax money for a Noah's Ark amusement park in Kentucky that features a huge vessel said to be like the one in the biblical flood. It was created by Answers in Genesis, a creationist organization that believes God created the Earth in six days and the world is 6,000 years old. Your tax dollars at work. Say amen.
Well Wilson, we ought to get the band to do something for those poor morning people who worry that they'll pass on Neanderthal DNA to their children. But it can't be all bad, the Neanderthals may have had the key to a better lifestyle. So hit it, Wilson:
In man's evolution he has created the cities and
The motor traffic rumble, but give me half a chance
And I'd be taking off my clothes and living in the jungle
'Cos the only time that I feel at ease
Is swinging up and down in a coconut tree
Oh what a life of luxury to be like an ape man
I'm an ape, I'm an ape ape man, I'm an ape man
I'm a King Kong man, I'm a voo-doo man
I'm an ape man
I look out my window, but I can't see the sky
'Cos the air pollution is fogging up my eyes
I want to get out of this city alive
And make like an ape man
Come and love me, be my ape man girl
And we will be so happy in my ape man world
I'm an ape man, I'm an ape ape man, I'm an ape man
I'm a King Kong man, I'm a voo-doo man
I'm an ape man
I'll be your Tarzan, you'll be my Jane
I'll keep you warm and you'll keep me sane
And we'll sit in the trees and eat bananas all day
Just like an ape man
I'm an ape man, I'm an ape ape man, I'm an ape man
I'm a King Kong man, I'm a voo-doo man
I'm an ape man.
I don't feel safe in this world no more
I don't want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore
And make like an ape man.
(Apeman — The Kinks)
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Shiver me timbers, th’ Pirate Kirby be back! Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day, me hearties!
#International Talk Like A Pirate Day#skull and crossbones#pirate hat#GRUMP#Kirby#tortoise#Russian tortoise#hat#pirate#swashbuckling#ARRR#YARRR#tortle clothes#STOMP#International Talk Like A Pirate Day 2020#cute#animals
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A COLLECTION
[ updated: 8 . 23 . 21 ]
— STATUS ONGOING
— NO REPOSTS
— ASKS under #ncouple !
— Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr
—NETFLIX & CHILL.
summary If you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed ‘Netflix and chilling,’ maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality.
warnings smut in the forms of grinding, oral (f), cum eating, vanilla unprotected sex, dirty talk
misc use of the oldest trick in the book (“your hands are sooo big”), shy oblivious AND gentleman jk? pick a struggle, brief ment of app developer kook, evil and conniving oc
word count 10.2k
posted june 12, 2020
—HULU & WOOHOO.
summary But there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Jersey Shore boner.
warnings slight feelings of insecurity, smut in the forms of fingering, cunnilingus, cum eating, squirting, hand jobs, unprotected sex, riding, slight praise kink
misc if you’re not a Jersey shore fan honestly GET OUT, mentions of capitalism😡, more kind/understanding kook, basically a “what are we?” fic but silly, irresponsible emailing habits, its so dumb just read
word count 6.3k
posted july 4, 2020
—IMAX & CLIMAX.
summary The occasional dark horse candidate among Barbie movie binges— Jungkook gets weirdly horny and fucks you to the tune of a classic Barbie movie soundtrack.
warnings smut in the form of blowjobs, tit play, praise kink, standing sex, unprotected sex, reverse cowgirl (? kinda), daddy kink that morphs into ily kink
misc jk is an avid history channel viewer, jk hates Barbie movies ik we took an L today girls 😔, jk goes thru like 4 personality changes (commanding > soft > mean > in love), honestly idk what to tag it’s a mess, he’s still cheesy and romantic but also 👀 just read
word count 9.8k
posted august 5, 2020
—KISSANIME & FOREPLAY.
summary You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.
warnings mentions of hentai, smut in the forms of cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink
misc more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3
word count 8.2k
posted september 1, 2020
—DISNEY+ & BUST.
summary There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door.
warnings arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of humiliation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment (? idk lol), unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, the return of mean jk, desperate jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf
misc angst, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans
word count 13k
posted september 9, 2020
—ESPN & BDSM.
summary You would like to personally thank every loud-mouthed, ESPN commentator out there for saving you from Jungkook’s dangerous seduction skills.
warnings smut in the forms of brief femdom, handcuffs, nipple clamps, blindfolding, flogging/use of a riding crop, soft dom kook, cunnilingus, spitting, unprotected but passionate, degradation, as always it starts horny n then turns into I love u kink
misc kook has a swollen ankle so idk how he did all this, jk abuses the fuck outta pet names part 7, revenge gone wrong tbh, this was honestly a beginner’s intro to vanilla bdsm
word count 12.7k
posted september 14, 2020
—YOUTUBE & USE LUBE.
summary You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube.
warnings smut in the forms of nipple play, handjobs, spit kink, face riding, unprotected, flavored warming lube, riding, praise kink, soft femdom, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, tit sucking, tit fucking, more jk has an impreg kink, oh and this is all subby kook
misc domesticity baby!! fluff, soft scenes /.\, jk is sick:((, doyeon is A Doctor, yn sees an opportunity and she grabs it, surprise ending <3
word count 8.7k
posted september 30, 2020
—VIKI & HICKEYS.
summary Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air.
warnings a little hurt + a lot of comfort, mentions of cheating!villain!jin, insecure!kook, emotional breakdowns, mentions of jk’s lonely past, jk cries :( smut in the forms of making out, eating out, fingering, clit play, hickeys, jk likes cum, double orgasm, squirting, tiny praise kink, blindfolding, rough + unprotected sex, doggy style, choking!!!, breeding/impreg kink, JEALOUS KOOK, mini hand kink, a lil bit of spanking, degradation, he gets progressively meaner lol oc cries, jk is a good boy n I want him to be happy
misc there’s a lot of fuckin plot omfg -_-, it’s Valentine’s Eve!, doyeon makes Some Points, mentions of park seojoon juicy ass, they go on a d8 😳, oc like rlly wants to marry him, oc commits double phone homicide
word count 16.3k
posted january 14, 2021
—PEACOCK & SWEET TALK.
summary “I wanna watch Solange in Bring It On,” Jungkook smiles, and you have to wonder who exactly this blond man is and what he did with your teen-movie-hating boyfriend.
warnings smut in the forms of kissing, cunnilingus (eating out + fingering), light praise, a lil body worship, jk fat cawk, brief nipple play, playful jk, unprotected sex, riding and missionary, the jk hand kink, I love you kink, jk wants nudes, jk’s cheerleader fantasies mentioned, spit kink, light choking, jk has like a scent kink (?), mention of collars and pet play
misc app developer jk becomes even MORE app developer-y, oc is anti-google, there's plot, a 2 year anniversary, Solange knowles appreciation, BLOND JK!!!, gets sappy for a sec, seahorse marriage mention, doyeon x joon side pairing, jk is disgustingly dreamy and oc is threatened by that fact
word count 10.7k
posted march 23, 2021
— CRUNCHYROLL & RAIL.
summary Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket.
warnings smut in the forms of making out, jk nipple play, some 69 action, cunnilingus, blowjobs, brief choking, jk trying his best to listen to oc but he doesn’t rlly :/, fingering, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, unprotected fuckin raw, its romantic but when is it not…
misc fluffy and domestic <3, weekend getaway <3, the Big Question, shy jk, sailor moon supremacy, jk makes this big elaborate speech about the sun and moon, mentions of 240p YouTube quality
word count 8.7k
posted may 21, 2021
—FUNIMATION & PROCREATION.
summary Never mind your upcoming wedding, this was perhaps the greatest moment of your life— the day Jungkook sought out an anime on his own.
warnings kissing, smut in the forms of cunnilingus, cum eating, mentions of anal, doggy style, unprotected sex with the intention of pregnancy, spitting, hand holding<3
misc the wedding night, Doyeon strikes again, jjk watches jjk, oh no not twins
word count 9.1k
posted july 31, 2021
—BOOMERANG AND BANG.
coming soon
—COOKIES & CREAM.
summary Jungkook will watch a thousand cheesy Christmas movies if it meant making you happy. (And maybe having his dick sucked.)
warnings smut in the form of blowjobs, face fucking, cum facials, fingering, overstim, double orgasm, r*mantic sex, riding, unprotected, cream pies, jk does this weird thing where he licks her face yeah idk, jk loves seeing his gf cry, jk has an obsession with jizz
misc jk pov !!, eggnog slander, jk hates xmas movies, oc dresses like a sexy mrs claus, Elf !!, jk is in loooove
word count 7.1k
posted december 23, 2020
— TUTUS & TIARAS.
summary your first pregnancy through the lens of your husband
warnings smut in the forms of penetrative sex, sex while pregnant, unprotected sex, tit play, cunnilingus, mutual masturbation, sticking the tip in and jacking off/cockwarming?, creampies, nose kink (? like she grinds against his nose), infatuation with scent, frottage/grinding, lactation kink, titluvr jk [bass boosted]
misc married ncouple <3, domesticity, jk pov, mood swings, pregnancy, GIRLDAD!JK, DILF!JK, pregnant!reader, jk’s kids are virgos its true
word count 10k
posted august 23, 2021
— one.
summary Maybe Jungkook wasn’t always as cool and composed as you initially believed. But that’s okay, because you love him all the same.
word count 1.3k
posted September 10, 2020
—two.
summary Even after all these years, all these doubts, and all this solitude that was really no one’s fault but his own, he still finds himself hoping that maybe you’ll be the one.
word count 1k
posted september 11, 2020
—three.
summary But Jungkook loves the sun.
word count 1.5k
posted september 12th, 2020
—four.
summary For the last ten minutes or so his mind has been bothered by one thing and one thing only— the hair that hung in his face.
word count 800 words
posted september 22, 2020
—five.
summary Startled and inexperienced, he can’t do anything but rub his hands over your back. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” he murmurs, even though it’s not.
word count 1.3k
posted september 22, 2020
—six.
SUMMARY Jungkook enjoyed pushing you down, indulging you in all your little fantasies, but he too had some he wanted to live out.
WC 1.8k
POSTED september 25, 2020
—seven.
summary And lastly, Jungkook will bring it full circle by indulging you two in some good old fashion spooky sex where he nuts inside you because the only thing scarier than a scary movie is a pregnancy scare. It’s a perfect plan.
word count 2k
posted october 30, 2020
—eight.
summary You always do this— always ask for more. You take and you take until there’s nothing left for Jungkook to give. But Jungkook is the same.
word count 1.9k
posted december 28, 2020
—nine.
summary “I think that, like— me and you? We’re like, totally destined,” you ramble, “you should, like, take my number! And maybe we can, like— Netflix and chill one of these days?”
word count 2.2k
posted january 8 2021
—ten.
summary See, there’s no one in this world who ignores his house rules more than you. Even worse, there’s no one on this planet who can make Jungkook ignore his own rules like you do.
word count 1.4k
posted february 14, 2021
—eleven.
summary You’re too bright, too… there. His shell is too small.
word count 1.2k
posted may 3, 2021
—twelve.
summary Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee.
word count 1.4k
posted may 8th, 2021
—thirteen.
summary Because for as much shit as you let him get away with, Jungkook is certain you’ll draw the line today.
word count 1k
posted june 13, 2021
—fourteen.
summary Jungkook needs you to know that you can always count on him.
word count 1.3k
posted july 6, 2021
—fifteen.
summary It’s Jungkook’s teenage fantasy— being pushed down by a cheerleader.
word count 3.1k
posted august 9, 2021
— sixteen.
summary Your skin is warm and smells like sunshine. Jungkook can’t really explain it. (And also like the sunscreen you had doused him in earlier, but that isn’t as romantic.)
word count 1.9K
posted august 11, 2021
—seventeen.
summary She looks his way and suddenly Jungkook is nineteen again, in his dorm, listening to the first person he ever thought he loved telling him he’s too much to handle.
word count 1.6k
posted august 18, 2021
beautiful banners made for series!
cute and cozy gif by the lovely @ladyartemesia
LASTLY:
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A "gender journey" poem. Each stanza, I get older. December 2020.
My pronouns are they/them. I am nonbinary.
(CW for internalized transphobia/homophobia and descriptions of dysphoria.)
I am a girl.
I am happy. I am free.
I want to be a president.
The first girl president.
I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I like the colors pink and yellow.
I wear my hair long and braided.
I make friends and play kitchen and house.
I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I want to carry chairs for my teacher.
Only strong boys can carry the chairs.
I help her pass out papers instead.
I am sweet and good and quiet.
I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I cut my hair.
It's still long, but shorter now.
My family puts me in Christmas dresses.
I feel like I can't breathe.
Still, I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I cut my hair again.
I donate it to other girls.
They need it more than I do.
I should be thankful, they say.
Women are jealous of my hair.
They can have it.
Still, I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I see two women kissing.
The grown ups turn away.
I don't turn away.
I stand and stare.
Why do they hide their faces?
Their smiles make me feel like flying.
I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I feel my body changing.
Boys turn to look at me.
I don't like it when they look at me.
I bleed and grow curves.
I am a girl. It hurts.
I am a girl.
I see another girl and smile.
My thoughts are racing.
I know it's wrong.
I shouldn't feel this way.
I think I like girls.
I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I am in middle school.
I am a girl and it hurts.
I am a girl and I hide in my jacket.
I am a girl and my body is suffocating.
I am a girl and I cry in the bathroom.
I am a sinner because I wish I was different.
I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I cringe when I hear it.
I want to hide when I look in the mirror.
I can't hide. I just stare back.
I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I am on the bus.
A girl tells me she is bi.
I ask what that means.
She laughs.
She explains and I know she is guilty.
She is guilty of the crime I also committed.
I am disgusted.
She is nervous.
I want to cry.
I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I meet a friend.
She is beautiful and kind and hurting.
She hides in her jacket.
I understand. She is a girl.
We stick together.
A boy at our table says that we are lesbians.
He is angry. I don't care.
She looks at me and understands.
We are both girls. And it hurts.
I am a girl.
I am confused.
I think I like girls. And boys. Does it matter?
I can't tell my family.
They scorn the gentle sinners.
I talk to my friend and find others.
Some of us are girls. Some of us are gays. All of us are sinners.
I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I meet other people.
I learn that there are others like me.
We hide in our jackets.
We are hated but we stick together.
I found a boy who was like me.
He was a girl, too. He changed.
I am not like him. I am not a boy.
I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I am a girl when my friend becomes a boy.
He tells me on the phone and I understand.
We hid in our jackets.
He grew out of his jacket.
He is my best friend.
I am hurting and I am quiet.
And still, I am a girl.
I am a girl.
I find a girl, no, a person.
They are beautiful.
Something I have not heard of.
I learn when we're together.
I embrace what I don't understand.
I bring them money for their birthday.
They flatten their chest and cry with relief.
They grew out of their jacket.
I loved them.
I crossed their deadname from the wall when they left.
I think I am a girl.
I think I am a girl.
I'm not sure what to do about it.
I have learned that I love all genders.
It doesn't matter.
Why does gender have to matter?
I am a girl. I am a boy.
No. I am not a boy.
I am barely a girl.
When people ask, I am a girl.
I am not a girl.
My heart flutters when I am mistaken
For "sir" or "son."
I am not a boy but it sticks with me.
I cut my hair. My family is angry.
My family is angry but I am free.
I am not a girl or a boy.
I am something inside of myself.
Still, when they ask,
I am a girl.
I am not a girl.
I am a "she" in the way of a pirate's ship.
My gender is like the ocean.
Never discernible. Never quite the same.
I am still friends with the boy that outgrew his jacket.
I tell him and suddenly I outgrow mine.
He calls me "they" for the first time.
I cry.
I am not a girl.
I am not a girl.
I change schools because the world is falling apart.
But I am not a girl.
When I change schools, I feel different.
They all call me by a name that isn't suffocating.
They don't know to call me anything else.
I meet two other boys.
Both of them had outgrown the jackets they hid in.
It warmed something inside of me.
The teachers used their pronouns.
I felt hope.
I am not a girl.
I am not a girl.
I have told this to some friends.
Some don't understand.
They don't have to.
I am not a girl.
The ones who stay use my pronouns.
They know, they know that
I am not a girl.
I feel like I can fly. I shed my jacket again.
I am not a girl.
I am nonbinary.
I express my identity as I see fit.
I wear jackets when I need to,
But they seem lighter now.
I am made stronger by the acceptance of myself.
I hope to one day leave my jacket behind.
I am happy, I am free.
And I am not a girl.
An amazing poem by @https://queer-person-crowe.tumblr.com/! We are so thankful for their contribution to our page. Follow them and show them some love for this excellent piece!
#submission#nonbinary#gender dysphoria#gender#they/them#poetry#enbycorner#theenbycorner#queerpersoncrowe#original poem#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbtq community
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We Need To Talk About Disney TVA
This is going to be kind of a rant because I don't see many people talking about it. The way Disney treats international fans (fans outside the United States of America) of Disney TVA shows is absolutely awful. I am speaking from the UK so some things may be different in different places. In the UK to access Disney Channel you needed to be a Sky customer but not everyone here can access Sky because of location and it's very large price but at the very least episodes had a place to premiere. Then in October of 2020 Disney announced they we closing Disney Channel so they could put more effort into streaming with Disney+ which had released in March 2020. Disney said Disney+ would be the new home of Disney Channel (they even had a pop up notification on the day when you opened the Disney+ app). Now cut to present day half of Amphibia Season 2 has not had an official premiere in the UK and Season 2 was not even added to Disney+ on June 4th like it was in America and keep in mind the US still has Disney Channel and the Disney Now app and every episode has officially premiered. To make matters worst The Owl House Season 2 is not going to be on Disney+ weekly in the UK even though it is a new season starting from episode 1, it is likely from what I have heard we will have to wait till Season 2A finishes on US Disney Channel before it gets added to UK Disney+ (so about 3 months at least). I mean there is no excuse: adding it to Disney+ won't increase pirating (by not adding it you increase pirating as there is no official way to watch it), it doesn't get more people to watch it on Disney Channel since there isn't one, it does drum up hype it just angers people and it just pushes people away and means these shows don't get the support they deserve.
Sorry for the rant but it is just upsetting. Film and TV is how I deal with the difficulties of life and it hurts when these companies make it hard to support these shows. I probably wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for She-Ra on Netflix and shows like The Owl House and Amphibia keep me going and it sucks that it keeps getting spoiled because we don't get an official release.
#disney+#disney#disney tva#disney tv animation#the owl house season 2#the owl house#toh#luz the human#luz#luz noceda#lumity#luz x amity#amity x luz#amity blight#amity#willow#gus#eda#edalyn clawthorne#eda the owl lady#lilith clawthorne#king of demons#amphibia#amphibia season 2#anne boonchuy#sprig plantar#hop pop#polly plantar#sasha waybright#marcy wu
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Razorbeard's (Anatomically Correct) Mouth
I seem to get this question a lot. I have decided to go into detail in the hopes of providing some answers. Yes, here it is. For the first time recorded in history, I present to you my oh so mysterious mouth.
Before we begin with the features, I must make a very important distinction.
With that out of the way...
Robo-Pirates don't have "teeth," we have MASHERS.
Mashers are small metal blocks that can move up and down, firing like pistons. They can fire at rapid speeds and with crushing force. Some mashers have angular tips that can extend when necessary, raising to create sharper points.
While we can still eat normal foods, consuming greases or oils and especially metals are necessary for survival.
But because robot diets mainly include consuming various types of metals our mashers would need to equal or surpass the crushing power of a hydraulic press.
(Sidenote: When I say “robot” for the remainder of this post, I am referring specifically to my own species. Not all robots in the known Universe.)
These examples are ranked in order of strength, the top being the weakest.
Carbon Fiber
Aluminum
Stainless Steel
Regular Steel (Strongest)
Notice that even the hydraulic press had some trouble completely crushing the strongest material, that being the regular steel.
To give you some perspective on size to strength ratios consider the following...
My mashers happen to be on the smaller side of things. Comparing them to pocket change here gives you a rough estimate of the size of most of my mashers, but even still I have others that are much smaller than that.
My mashers function just as good as any other robot's, and even for their size I would be able to crush up regular steel much more efficiently than the hydraulic press I showed you earlier.
Warning: Do not stick your hands in the robot's mouth.
BONE
Mashers have to be able to tear and chew up metals into small bits in order for them to be burnt down in our stomachs and recycled back into our bodies.
Considering that there are much tougher metals out there in the universe than those you may be familiar with on Earth, I can say with great confidence and ease that even our rudimentary mechanics are far more advanced and powerful than anything known to Earth.
"Salivary" Secretions - Much like humans salivate in order to lubricate food chunks for easy passage down into the digestive system, robot mouths can secrete oils and greases in order to lubricate substances being consumed.
Much of the oils and greases that we consume as a part of our diets are used to keep our internal systems healthy and can also be recycled into different parts of our bodies to help with various processes. The mouth is one such example.
Swallowing Substances - For humans and many other animals the tongue and cheeks work together, moving food between the teeth so it can be chewed. Tongues are then used to help swallow foods.
For robots, once the substances are chewed up and torn apart by our mashers, mashers will then move in a synchronized wave like pattern to move substances to the throat pipe.
Alright. Let's talk about lips. Robot lips aren't the same as human lips. No surprise there. When we say "lips" we are usually referring to the "edge" of something and not a pair of moving, squishy-face-lines.
Lip style can vary between robots, but for me personally, my lips feature a second set of "teeth."
The area seen in the picture above has been magnified to show what these "teeth" look like. These are not mashers, but are small raised points creating serrated edges.
HOWEVER...the black coloration you see on my lips is actually a tar-like substance. Think of something soft and malleable, yet firm.
The best example I have? Eh...
Have you ever stepped on those black lines in the parking lot on a hot summer day and found that they aren't fully solid? That they seem almost squishy?
This stuff. (So scientific. I know.)
This is very similar to the substance that can be seen covering my head and face behind my beard, and also covering the decorations on the sides of my head. You can also see my mouth bottom and lips are covered in this as well.
The malleable property of this substance allows me to create a tight seal when I close my mouth, and, to an extent, I can actually stretch them small amounts at will to cover up my secondary set of teeth or even move them to match the shape of objects entering my mouth.
So in a way, MY lips have some similar properties to a human's lips but only because of the tar substance covering it. And yes, if you're curious I can actually make somewhat of a smile or a frown if I really try, but I'm very limited in these motions.
Fun fact: Robot bodies naturally produce tar and crude oils, however seeing a robot who has this visible on the outside of their body is actually very rare. This tar like substance grows from my face in certain areas and requires constant maintenance. Around my face and eyes it can actually start to droop if left growing for too long without scraping the excess off. As for my decorations if I let it grow for too long all that happens is that they thicken up in size as the layers accumulate. In some photos you may notice that my decorations change in shape or thickness slightly and this is because I can style them in different ways depending on how long I let the tar grow. This is also how I'm able to grow "hair." All it really is, is excess tar growing from the top of my head which I can have styled so it looks nice. ★
Might as well.
And I can even have it dyed and cured so the color will stain through. My favorite color to dye my decorations is blue, or I leave it black. And as for my hair I either leave it black or dye it red. We even have a salon on the ship for these things but I'll have to tell you more about THAT another time...
That's all for now. Until next time.
× ARB
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
References:
INCORRECT Photo - Rayman: The Animated Series
Correct Photo - Rayman 2: The Great Escape
Pistons GIF - https://youtu.be/DAgWzvx46J0
Metal GIFs (1-4) - https://youtu.be/BaSXRoD2xaQ
Bone GIF - https://youtu.be/os98s9kBlOI
Asphalt Crack Sealer 1 - https://images.app.goo.gl/gzWgrrw6AfN3CB7g9
Asphalt Crack Sealer 2 - https://images.app.goo.gl/eZL1GbPuRrXvTRBbA
All other diagrams and images belong to me.
(Art Created 2/22/2020)
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Rise of the V-Tuber
As a platform, YouTube has gone through a variety of “eras,” wherein a particular trend catches on and defines the website for some time. In the early days, you had funny cat videos, then Let’s Plays of video games became rather popular, and now we seem to be deeply entrenched into a new era that has exploded in popularity as of late. If you’ve frequented the website at all in the past few months, it is almost inescapable. Cutesy, anime-styled avatars that play games, sing, chat with viewers, or even cook! What does it all mean? Where did they come from? Are they here to stay? Most importantly, how does one crawl out of the rabbit hole once they fall into it? All that and more will be revealed as we delve deep into the wacky, wholesome and sometimes worrying world of V-Tubers. (photo credit YuuGiJoou. Check her out on YouTube, Twitter or Twitch!)
THE ORIGIN
To begin properly, let’s define the subject. A “V-Tuber” is a “Virtual YouTuber,” someone who streams on YouTube (or any other streaming platform) using a digital avatar as a proxy. The streamer in question typically uses face-tracking software so that the avatar can emote (or at least attempt to emote) to match their own reactions as they provide entertainment for their audience. While it may seem as if V-Tubers are rather new, in doing research on the topic, you’d be surprised how far back things go.
For starters, the concept of a virtual celebrity has been around for a while, with one of the most notable efforts being Hatsune Miku, a Vocaloid voicebank program. Hatsune Miku is every bit as famous and beloved as a flesh-and-blood singer or entertainer despite being nothing but voice synthesizer software. Vocaloid got its start back in 2000, eventually being reworked into a commercial product in 2004, though it wasn’t until the programs started receiving anthropomorphic character designs that it took off, with Hatsune Miku’s own debut in 2007, and the rest is history.
Many will consider “Virtual Idol” Kizuna Ai as the true pioneer of what we call a V-Tuber today, making her debut in 2016, however one could make an argument that Ami Yamato, a 3D-animated vlogging channel debuting in 2013, beat her to the punch. Honorable mention of course goes to Any Malu, a Brazilian animated YouTube vlogger who debuted in 2015 and eventually gained her own show on Cartoon Network Brazil. While Ai may not be the first, she is undoubtedly considered to be the codifier that many later V-Tubers would follow. Ai’s entire shtick was being an AI program that wanted to connect with humans, playing games, singing or interacting with fans. Following her explosive popularity, it was clear that other companies would follow the model established by Ai, with their own spins on it of course.
Nijisanji, established in 2018, proved that this trend could be incredibly profitable, becoming trailblazers in their own right as they established various “branches” of their company in several countries with their own unique performers that could cater to a wider range of viewers. As of this writing, Nijisanji employs over 164 “Virtual Livers,” most of which come from their Japan branch, alongside their Korean, Chinese, Indian and Indonesian branches. Similarly, there is the Hololive corporation, which saw substantial growth throughout 2020 in particular. Established in 2016 originally as Cover Corporation, at first Hololive was the name of an app meant for use in 3D motion capture, though following Nijisanji’s success, Hololive was rebranded as a V-Tuber competitor and also features a variety of colorful characters spread across many different main branches. There is of course the Japanese branch, as well as Hololive Indonesia, the relatively new (and highly successful) Hololive English, a defunct Chinese branch and an all-male Holostar branch in Japan.
Other, smaller V-Tuber groups have sprung up alongside the corporate powerhouses, such as VOMS Project, established in March of 2020, as an independent trio of streamers, and more recently at the tail-end of 2020 with V-Shojo, featuring a group of Western streamers (who ironically mostly stick to Twitch). Outside of this of course are the countless independent streamers who utilize avatars for one reason or another across many different platforms. Even prominent Twitch streamers seem to be getting in on the act, such as Pokimane, though that one has not come without some backlash. So consider that a rough history of how V-Tubers got started in Japan but how did they gain a more global fanbase? Well, in a word…”memes.”
GOING INTERNATIONAL
I won’t deny there had to be at least SOME overseas fans who enjoyed watching V-Tubers before they became more well-known, but for many Western fans their introductions to V-Tubers in general typically came from viral videos taken from various streams that spread like wildfire, eventually getting people curious enough to check them out. For Kizuna Ai, her playthrough of Resident Evil 7 gained notoriety for her mimicking the cursing of the English-speaking player character, and for Hololive, arguably the first real Western breakthrough for the company came from a now infamous moment from Sakura Miko’s stream of Grand Theft Auto 5.
youtube
Also from Hololive, Inugami Korone in particular had a variety of memes spread about her due to playthroughs from various games that even got acknowledged by the developers themselves. Her playthrough of DOOM 2016 resulted in a short-lived Easter egg implanted into DOOM Eternal, and her video on Banjo-Kazooie (and the animated Eekum Bokum fan video that spawned from that) got the attention of Rare, Xbox and even Grant Kirkhope, the composer for the original game.
Honestly, the real unsung heroes of sorts for V-Tuber popularity might just come from foreign fans that would clip and translate various moments from streams that helped to build an international audience. There are dozens of Twitter handles and YouTube channels that specialize in spreading these clips around and if you factor in the YouTube algorithm, once you see one video your feed will be flooded with similar videos. It is no surprise fans call getting into the fandom “falling into the rabbit hole.” When you look at the more popular members of Hololive, often the ones with various viral clips have the higher subscription counts. In the case of Aki Rosenthal, one of the older members, her sub count exploded after a fan translated a section from a then-recent stream in which she talked candidly about her less-than-stellar growth as well as the difficulties of standing out in general. While at one point having the lowest amount of subscribers (well below 200,000), in the months since that video her sub count has more than doubled going past 400,000. Sometimes the talent needs a little push.
Now, within Hololive itself, I think Kiryu Coco is also partially responsible for expanding the fanbase, being one of the few employed talents with the ability to speak English (likely a native speaker), she gained a large international fanbase as she would work to translate what she or other members were talking about on the fly, and later on established an ongoing series where she would directly engage with fans over websites like Reddit and “rate” the various memes they would send in. Coco also pushed for establishing what would become Hololive English, which has proven to be a gigantic success, each member of that branch blowing past more established talent’s subscriber counts, with Gawr Gura becoming the first Hololive V-Tuber to pass one million subscribers and just recently passed the two million mark. So yeah, V-Tubers are a big deal now but…what is about them that makes people want to watch them in the first place?
THE APPEAL
So, right off the bat, if we’re going to ask why someone would want to watch a V-Tuber I think it’s fair to ask that of virtually ANY internet personality. The reason why someone would watch Game Grumps or Pokimane or Jojo Siwa or whoever else is the same reason they’d watch Kizuna Ai or Inugami Korone or Ironmouse: they’re entertaining. I guess that seems like a bit of a cop-out answer, right? There MUST be a reason why V-Tubers have blown up in popularity over the last few years, so are there things that make these particular Internet entertainers stand out from the crowd?
Undoubtedly, the fact that these streamers are playing a character is a deviation from the norm, though the dedication to staying “in character” seems to vary from person to person, and over time many V-Tubers tend to open up and are far more genuine. At any rate, even the best actor out there can’t possibly make up various daily happenings or childhood stories for their characters on the fly, day after day, stream after stream. Still, I’d imagine the decision to use a proxy as opposed to their real self can be liberating, a mask they can wear to speak more freely or a role they can play up for entertainment. For the most part, I think the persona aspect is mostly harmless fun that makes the streamer seem more distinct; ask yourself which is more eye-catching: some normal human playing a game and occasionally cracking a joke, or a one-eyed pirate girl discussing her raunchy past? Or maybe you’d rather watch the grim reaper practice her raps? Even talent that don’t really play up their character much still often have interesting character designs; we have princesses, dragons, devils, robots and more. A little something for everyone!
youtube
Speaking a bit more personally, I find it interesting to watch streamers from an entirely different culture and how they interact with fans or engage with games. I find it funny when Inugami Korone or Sakura Miko plays more Western-oriented games like the DOOM series or Grand Theft Auto V respectively. Often times they’re blown away by the culture clash, or they view these games through a different lens since it’s so different from what they’re used to. In particular, those two are just genuine goofballs that are funny all on their own. More chat-focused streams are an interesting view into daily life in Japan, such as the stories Houshou Marine tells, though obviously a given V-Tuber’s viewpoint isn’t a metric you can apply to the whole country, but she’s still interesting to listen to. Takanashi Kiara is also notable for her multilingual skills, which has helped her bridge the gap a bit more between the various Hololive members through her Holotalk segments where she interviews other V-Tubers. Outside of Hololive, Amano Pikamee from VOMS Project is just a bundle of energy that’s fun to watch as she rages in Super Mario 64 or Super Mario Sunshine. Her tea-kettle laugh is also just kinda charming. The V-Shojo group stands out for being super vulgar compared to the more corporate V-Tubers and while I don’t watch them all that much, there’s still some fun chaos to be had. Still though, I think there’s one big elephant in the room that would also help explain V-Tubers catching on at this specific point in time: the pandemic. Streaming is one of the few jobs not really affected by the pandemic, and with people stuck inside, they’re more likely to scroll through YouTube or Twitter and find a funny clip and then…well, you know… It’s one bright spot in an otherwise dark time…but I’d be lying if I said it was all sunshine and rainbows.
THE DARK UNDERBELLY
The overall idea behind V-Tubers, at least in Japan, seems to be an extension of Idol Culture…and uh…if you know anything about Idol Culture in Japan, it is all kinds of scummy. Exploitative, filled to the brim with harmful rules and regulations and largely catering to some vary unsavory “fans,” I’ll make it no mystery that I find it incredibly distasteful. Look no further than what happened to Minegishi Minami from the idol group AKB48. To keep a long story short, the obsession with “purity” and being this idealized Japanese beauty means idols are effectively locked into their work, unable to discuss or in many cases partake in romantic relationships, as that would make them less “desirable” to their audience. This unfortunately does at times extend to V-Tubers.
Take Tokoyami Towa, who was suspended for some time and forced to make an apology video for…having some male voices briefly heard over Discord during an Apex Legend stream. She even lost a lot of subscribers and support from Japanese fans following this, though once learning of this, Western fans flocked to her as a show of support. Hololive has also dealt with a variety of issues coming from Chinese fans; though that’s a particular hornet’s nest I don’t want to delve into here too much. To sum it up, fans can get obsessive and toxic, which can lead to the talent being harassed. It is for this reason, it is generally agreed upon by fans to not delve too deep into the personal lives of the V-Tubers, for fear of being doxxed and the illusion being broken. These kinds of issues certainly bring up some interesting questions regarding how talent should be treated moving forward.
Are these V-Tubers characters or just alternate sides of real people? Where does the fantasy end and reality begin? Ultimately, the lines are somewhat blurred. Talent certainly brings some of their own personality into the performance, but they are forced to remain anonymous and as can be seen in the case of Kizuna Ai, they are not always in control of the character they’ve been given. Kizuna Ai’s initial actress was for a time replaced, and “clones” of the character with different voices and personalities started to spring up, likely as an attempt to compete with the likes of Nijisanji and Hololive. In cases where V-Tubers retire from the industry, or “graduate” as some call it, all of their hard work cultivating a fanbase might end up being for nothing as they were forced behind a proxy that isn’t truly themselves and I imagine it can be hard to start over again from square one. Never mind the attempts to step out of the shadow of your older work. Man, Perfect Blue was downright prophetic at times, huh?
I don’t want to dwell on the negatives too much though. It’s worth noting for one thing that Nijisanji seems relatively lax regarding how their talent operates, whereas it seems Hololive is the standout for adhering to the idol ideal, though considering how some of the talent acts (in particular Kiryu Coco), one has to wonder if they’re softening their stances a bit. Many V-Tubers generally talk about the positive aspects of the industry and being given the opportunity to reach people from all over the world. Shortly after Ina’s debut in Hololive English, she was actually brought to tears when told her art streams convinced people to get into (or back into) the hobby, which had been one of her goals for becoming a V-Tuber in the first place. Ironmouse, now a member of V-Shojo, has an immune system disorder that keeps her bedridden and forced to stay inside, so the opportunities afforded by this particular type of streaming has allowed her to reach out to others and as per her own words, has changed her life for the better. While there are definitely “fans” that go too far, corporate practices that are outdated, or harmful and a slew of potential unfortunate implications, ultimately I think most people out there are just looking for quality entertainment, and these digital proxies give these entertainers an outlet to connect with fans in a way that they might not have otherwise.
CONCLUSION
V-Tubers are in a bit of a boom at the moment, though I can’t imagine it’ll last forever. We’re quickly approaching market saturation and after a point, people can only follow so many streamers at once. Hell, as I was editing this up, it seems as if prominent YouTuber Pewdiepie is about to step into the ring, so who knows what kind of shake-up that could bring. The bubble will undoubtedly burst and what becomes of V-Tubers then is still up in the air. Or who knows, maybe V-Tubers will endure and replace all entertainment and we’re just watching the beginning of a cyberpunk dystopia. Stranger things have happened! Considering the world is still reeling from the effects of the pandemic, that should largely have an impact on the popularity of V-Tubers for some time to come, though as we emerge into a “new normal” in the world, it’ll be interesting to see how these entertainers continue to evolve. Now, I suppose there is one question I never quite went over before now, isn’t there? How does one escape the V-Tuber rabbit hole? Well, I’m sorry to say but there is no escape.
Enjoy your new home!
-B
#xb-squaredx#blog#vtuber#v-tuber#hololive#nijisanji#VOMS project#korone#sakura miko#pikamee#kizuna ai#youtube#twitch#v-shojo#ironmouse#houshou marine#eekum bokum
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Holidays 1.24
Holidays
Belly Laugh Day
Change a Pet's Life Day
Economic Liberation Day (Togo)
Global Belly Laugh Day (at 1:24 pm local time)
Gold Rush Day
Heart to Heart Day
International Day of Education
International Mobile Phone Recycling Day
Juan Pablo Duarte Day (Dominican Republic)
"Just Do It" Day
Macintosh Computer Day
Microwave Oven Day
Minimoog Day
Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day
National Compliment Day
National Girl Child Day (India)
National Heroes Day (Cayman Islands)
National Readathon Day
Paul Pitcher Day (UK)
Sailing of Bast (Ancient Egypt)
Social Sipping and Nibbling Rehearsal Day
Square Dance Day [also 11.29]
Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day
Tricknology Day
TV Game Show Day
Uttar Pradesh Day (India)
World Day for African and Afro-descendant Culture
Food & Drink Celebrations
Beer Can Day (a.k.a. Beer Can Appreciation Day)
Eskimo Pie Day
National Hot Cereal Day
National Lobster Thermidor Day
National Peanut Butter Day
4th Tuesday in January
National Speak Up and Succeed Day [4th Tuesday]
Independence Days
Ziua Unirii (Unification Day of the Romanian Principalities; Romania)
Feast Days
Babylas of Antioch (Christian; Saint)
Cadoc (Wales)
Ekeko Festival (God of Abundance; Bolivia) [Lasts 3 Weeks]
Exuperantius of Cingoli (Christian; Saint)
Feast of Our Lady of Peace (Roman Catholic)
Feast of Seed-Time (Feati Sementini; Ancient Rome)
Felician of Foligno (Christian; Saint)
Francis de Sales (Christian; Saint) [Journalists, Editors, Writers]
Invent a God Day (Pastafarian)
John Belushi (Hedonism; Saint)
Jools Holland (Humanism)
Klaatu Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)
Macedonius of Syria (Christian; Saint)
Pratulin Martyrs (Greek Catholic Church)
Sementivae begins (Ancient Roman festival honoring Ceres (Goddess of Agriculture) and Tellus (Mother Earth)
Solomon (Positivist; Saint)
Stanley the Mouse (Muppetism)
Suranus of Umbria (Christian; Saint)
Timothy, disciple of St. Paul (Christian; Saint)
Lucky & Unlucky Days
Sakimake (先負 Japan) [Bad luck in the morning, good luck in the afternoon.]
Premieres
Alice Foils the Pirates (Disney Cartoon; 1927)
The Courier (Film; 2020)
Danse Macabre, by Camille Saint-Saëns (Tone Poem; 1874)
The Grapes of Wrath (Film; 1940)
My Chauffeur (Film; 1986)
Pluto’s Playmate (Disney Cartoon; 1941)
Skid Row, by Skid Row (Album; 1989)
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (Film; 1948)
21, by Adele (Album; 2011)
Waco (TV Mini-Series; 2018)
Today’s Name Days
Franz, Thurid, Vera (Austria)
Bogoslav, Felicijan, Franjo (Croatia)
Milena (Czech Republic)
Timotheus (Denmark)
Naima, Naimi (Estonia)
Senja (Finland)
François (France)
Bernd, Franz, Thurid, Vera (Germany)
Filon, Polyxene, Polyxeni, Xene, Xeni, Zosimas (Greece)
Timót (Hungary)
Francesco (Italy)
Eglons, Krišs, Ksenija (Latvia)
Artūras, Felicija, Gaivilė, Mažvydas, Šarūnas, Vilgaudas (Lithuania)
Jarl, Joar (Norway)
Chwalibóg, Felicja, Mirogniew, Rafaela, Rafał, Tymoteusz (Poland)
Xenia (Romania)
Timotej (Slovakia)
Francisco, Paz, Xenia (Spain)
Erika (Sweden)
Roxanna, Roxoliana (Ukraine)
Oral, Orel, Tim, Timmy, Timon, Timothy, Vera, Verena (USA)
Today is Also…
Day of Year: Day 24 of 2023; 341 days remaining in the year
ISO: Day 2 of week 4 of 2023
Celtic Tree Calendar: Luis (Rowan) [Day 3 of 28]
Chinese: Month 1 (Jia-Yin), Day 3 (Ren-Wu)
Chinese Year of the: Rabbit (until February 10, 2024)
Hebrew: 2 Shevat 5783
Islamic: 2 Rajab II 1444
J Cal: 24 Aer; Threesday [24 of 30]
Julian: 11 January 2023
Moon: 12%: Waxing Crescent
Positivist: 24 Moses (1st Month) [Solomon]
Runic Half Month: Peorth (Womb, Dice Cup) [Day 15 of 15]
Season: Winter (Day 35 of 90)
Zodiac: Aquarius (Day 4 of 30)
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Text
Holidays 1.24
Holidays
Belly Laugh Day
Change a Pet's Life Day
Economic Liberation Day (Togo)
Global Belly Laugh Day (at 1:24 pm local time)
Gold Rush Day
Heart to Heart Day
International Day of Education
International Mobile Phone Recycling Day
Juan Pablo Duarte Day (Dominican Republic)
"Just Do It" Day
Macintosh Computer Day
Microwave Oven Day
Minimoog Day
Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day
National Compliment Day
National Girl Child Day (India)
National Heroes Day (Cayman Islands)
National Readathon Day
Paul Pitcher Day (UK)
Sailing of Bast (Ancient Egypt)
Social Sipping and Nibbling Rehearsal Day
Square Dance Day [also 11.29]
Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day
Tricknology Day
TV Game Show Day
Uttar Pradesh Day (India)
World Day for African and Afro-descendant Culture
Food & Drink Celebrations
Beer Can Day (a.k.a. Beer Can Appreciation Day)
Eskimo Pie Day
National Hot Cereal Day
National Lobster Thermidor Day
National Peanut Butter Day
4th Tuesday in January
National Speak Up and Succeed Day [4th Tuesday]
Independence Days
Ziua Unirii (Unification Day of the Romanian Principalities; Romania)
Feast Days
Babylas of Antioch (Christian; Saint)
Cadoc (Wales)
Ekeko Festival (God of Abundance; Bolivia) [Lasts 3 Weeks]
Exuperantius of Cingoli (Christian; Saint)
Feast of Our Lady of Peace (Roman Catholic)
Feast of Seed-Time (Feati Sementini; Ancient Rome)
Felician of Foligno (Christian; Saint)
Francis de Sales (Christian; Saint) [Journalists, Editors, Writers]
Invent a God Day (Pastafarian)
John Belushi (Hedonism; Saint)
Jools Holland (Humanism)
Klaatu Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)
Macedonius of Syria (Christian; Saint)
Pratulin Martyrs (Greek Catholic Church)
Sementivae begins (Ancient Roman festival honoring Ceres (Goddess of Agriculture) and Tellus (Mother Earth)
Solomon (Positivist; Saint)
Stanley the Mouse (Muppetism)
Suranus of Umbria (Christian; Saint)
Timothy, disciple of St. Paul (Christian; Saint)
Lucky & Unlucky Days
Sakimake (先負 Japan) [Bad luck in the morning, good luck in the afternoon.]
Premieres
Alice Foils the Pirates (Disney Cartoon; 1927)
The Courier (Film; 2020)
Danse Macabre, by Camille Saint-Saëns (Tone Poem; 1874)
The Grapes of Wrath (Film; 1940)
My Chauffeur (Film; 1986)
Pluto’s Playmate (Disney Cartoon; 1941)
Skid Row, by Skid Row (Album; 1989)
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (Film; 1948)
21, by Adele (Album; 2011)
Waco (TV Mini-Series; 2018)
Today’s Name Days
Franz, Thurid, Vera (Austria)
Bogoslav, Felicijan, Franjo (Croatia)
Milena (Czech Republic)
Timotheus (Denmark)
Naima, Naimi (Estonia)
Senja (Finland)
François (France)
Bernd, Franz, Thurid, Vera (Germany)
Filon, Polyxene, Polyxeni, Xene, Xeni, Zosimas (Greece)
Timót (Hungary)
Francesco (Italy)
Eglons, Krišs, Ksenija (Latvia)
Artūras, Felicija, Gaivilė, Mažvydas, Šarūnas, Vilgaudas (Lithuania)
Jarl, Joar (Norway)
Chwalibóg, Felicja, Mirogniew, Rafaela, Rafał, Tymoteusz (Poland)
Xenia (Romania)
Timotej (Slovakia)
Francisco, Paz, Xenia (Spain)
Erika (Sweden)
Roxanna, Roxoliana (Ukraine)
Oral, Orel, Tim, Timmy, Timon, Timothy, Vera, Verena (USA)
Today is Also…
Day of Year: Day 24 of 2023; 341 days remaining in the year
ISO: Day 2 of week 4 of 2023
Celtic Tree Calendar: Luis (Rowan) [Day 3 of 28]
Chinese: Month 1 (Jia-Yin), Day 3 (Ren-Wu)
Chinese Year of the: Rabbit (until February 10, 2024)
Hebrew: 2 Shevat 5783
Islamic: 2 Rajab II 1444
J Cal: 24 Aer; Threesday [24 of 30]
Julian: 11 January 2023
Moon: 12%: Waxing Crescent
Positivist: 24 Moses (1st Month) [Solomon]
Runic Half Month: Peorth (Womb, Dice Cup) [Day 15 of 15]
Season: Winter (Day 35 of 90)
Zodiac: Aquarius (Day 4 of 30)
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Text
this is a (super late) update to this fic rec post! i was planning to just keep editing and updating that post, but it’s been so old it no longer appears on tumblr search system and all, so here we are. be ready for some old school zosans in the mix
all complete
absolute favorites will be noted with a ♡
list will be updated as i find more
story count: 30 fics
last update: jan 5th 2020
CANON-VERSE
Goings On by clarify ♡
Zoro and Sanji understand each other, and sometimes have a very similar sense of humor. Even though they're worlds ahead of most, sometimes they can't help but to act their age.
easily one of my favorites. zoro and sanji are completely in character, being themselves and comfortable in each other’s spaces. for anyone who thinks zoro and sanji can’t get along in canon, this fic can easily prove them wrong.
Part Timer by 8ball ♡♡
Sanji really, really doesn't want to give Zoro a job at his restaurant. Zoro doesn't really even want to work there in the first place, but, well, there’s this thing with Sanji, and this thing with feelings and the whole thing is pretty damn stupid all together.
Zeff just wants grandkids. He’s too old for this bullshit anyways.
a wonderful, heart-wrenching, roller coaster ride of a post-series fic. this fic is not just a mere fic — it’s a zosan magnum opus with guest appearances by so many other characters, lots of crew hijinks and a must-read for everyone who craves for a happy ending for these good boys.
Say It Again by 8ball
Zoro tells Sanji how he feels. And then again. And again.
since we’re talking about 8ball i just want you to know i’d rec everything they’ve ever written, but special mention to say it again — a classic miscommunication trope fic done well where the miscommunication stems from fundamental misunderstanding of each other’s principles and views instead of just some plot-convenient coincidences. and soft zoro. god, he is soft.
The Wedding Night by cuethe-pulse (lj)
Zoro had never expected any of this.
major character death warning. don’t let the first few scenes fool you. note the warning; the last few lines were like a punch in the gut for me, except, you know, the good kind of punch. also, a quick rec of a drabble by the same author to soothe the pain after this one.
Roronoa Zoro: World’s Greatest Bug Killer by insaneidiot ♡
Sometimes, Zoro's life really sucks. He should've known better than to make fun of Sanji's bug phobia, though...
zoro’s internal monologue is hilarious — until today, this author is still my go-to expert on zoro’s voice, especially his more sarcastic side.
Quitting’s Easy by insaneidiot
Sanji decides to quit smoking. This is not quite so easy as he thinks it will be. Also, his crewmates (excluding Robin and Nami, of course!) are assholes.
fun, fun strawhat hijinks and oblivious sanji. the crew dynamics and especially sanji’s voice are pitch perfect. there’s a hint of luffy/nami that you can easily scroll past if it’s not your thing.
I can’t stop thinking that i can’t stop thinking by hieiandshino ♡
In which Brook changes tactics and Zoro is not amused. Everyone else is, though.
holy shit is this fic hilarious. i love comedy fics that manage to slip in thoughtful observations and character study in between the hijinks, and this fic pulls that off with flying colors.
The Walls See All by threesipsmore
Reiju hides a snail cam in her brother's room.
fun short fic from reiju’s pov. there’s never enough zosan set in whole cake island arc and this fic delivers.
Stormbird by Judin ♡
The Straw Hats' first landing in the New World is on Arashi Island, where it looks like they'll be spending a fun week attending the local festival and making new friends. Until they spot a strange pirate ship in the harbour, and Sanji starts behaving oddly. The Straw Hats become entangled with the mysterious Gently Pirates, a crew that harbour many secrets, and whose captain is a man out of Sanji's past who has the power to tear the Straw Hat crew apart.
it cannot be overstated how wonderful this fic is, and how it could’ve fit into the canon just nicely, like a better-written one piece movie, except with zosan. not only are sanji and zoro in character, every strawhat gets a spotlight and has pitch-perfect voices. brook is especially lovely in this fic.
Unintended Consequence by itsmylifekay
A group of marines charge, Zoro slices through them, and in that instant Sanji feels his own eyes grow wide. Because there, on the arm now outstretched towards him, steel glinting in hand, is the stupid bracelet he’d given Zoro. The bastard is actually wearing it.
there’s a reason this is the most kudo-ed zosan fic on ao3 right now — it’s so soft without being ooc, and there’s a quiet undercurrent of affection laid throughout the fic that will warm you up from the insides.
Somewhere Between Sorrow and Bliss by srididdledeedee
Sanji has never cared for winter.
He can see himself, is the thing. There are bits and pieces that poke through, but it’s not all him. It’s like staring in a fractured mirror. He knows, intellectually, that the person staring back at him is himself, but his face is splintered and his shape is distorted and his body is wrong.
a fantastic character study on trans!sanji and how he comes to terms with his identity with the help of his crewmates. supportive strawhats are always a lovely addition to a zosan fic
Give In To Love by libbylune
Zoro knows better than to think about it too much, but between the rowdy festivals and ancient unexplained temples on this island, it's hard to forget about wanting Sanji.
i love how this fic puts as much focus on the boys after the confession as it does before the confession. a good case fic with its own unique island adventure and i’m always a sucker for soft!zoro
Laundry by libbylune
Dealing with Sanji makes Zoro develop a lot of opinions about clothes.
there’s absolutely nothing hotter than bi!sanji who’s completely comfortable with his gender identity and sexuality. also gay disaster zoro fumbling his words whenever sanji is around is 1) accurate 2) hilarious.
Language of Swords by HaveMyWeedCookies ♡
It took them for a while but finally, Zoro asked if Sanji wanted to hold his sword.
i love fics that explore zoro’s relationship with his craft and his swords, and adding zosan into the mix is something i didn’t know i needed. an interesting outsiders pov zosan in the pov of zoro’s swords.
Ghost of a Chance by sabershadowkat
“I know, for sure, that I didn’t expect to miss everyone so much, including you.” Sanji cut a glance at Zoro and rephrased correctly, “Especially you.”
this fic handles tropes that are usually associated with character death fics, but manages to end it with a happy ending. zoro’s devotion here is heart-wrenching.
Idiot Romance by sabershadowkat
"This has to be a joke," Sanji muttered, poking at the colored petals. Zoro couldn't have just given him flowers.
a classic — this is literally the first zosan fic i’ve ever read — and a lovely one at that. sanji is oblivious and zoro attempts romance, not that zoro ever needed to.
festival night by thisislegit
“ANOTHER FEAT BY THE WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN, JORIRI.” The woman turned to Mr. Mohawk and with faux sympathy said, “Oh! Sorry, sir. Maybe next time. We can’t always beat the best, but we can do our best and that’s what matters. Do we have any other takers? ANY OTHER TAKERS READY FOR THE STRONG MAN CHALLENGE? HOW ABOUT YOU SIR? MADAM? YOU OVER THERE? ARE YOU INTERESTED?”
“What kind of shit name is Joriri,” said Zoro and Sanji in unison.
i’m an absolute sucker for fics that have zoro and sanji simply hanging out and enjoying each other’s company, comfortable in a way they couldn’t with their other crewmates, and this fic exemplifies that. just them being little shits and having fun with one another.
No Victory in Hesitation & the Past Has Its Lessons by EudaimonErisornae & vageege
Zoro has a lot of things he wants to say to Sanji, but he just needs one more day. || Zoro tries to fix a mistake he made in the past.
major character death warning. i died a little bit inside after reading this tbh. there are some devil fruits-explained time travel hijinks, but mostly it’s this looming, grim inevitability of death that’s written so pervasively throughout the fic that really got me.
Imperatives by dollcewrites
Zoro is confident in saying that Sanji is a man who doesn’t do what he’s told. Which is why, when a command accidentally slips from Zoro’s lips during foreplay, he is expecting to hear the cook’s scoff as he continues to do what he pleases.
i don’t tend to do pwp, but this isn’t just one — it’s a completely in-character piece about their relationship and dynamics.
when you say by bluewalk ♡
It's a long time in coming. Usopp can promise, but.
this fic is as much sanuso as it is zosan, and usopp here is — still very much usopp, but also a very beautiful take on his character as someone who spent a lot of time behind sanji’s back, and realizes that when he watches sanji’s back, he gets to see zoro’s, too.
a complete guide to falling in love by ThousandSunny
Sanji was trained in the Bridal Arts; this does not go unnoticed by the rest of his crew.
while the main ship is still zosan, the fic also focuses a lot on zoro and sanji’s relationship with the rest of the crew, and it’s one of those fics that really makes you realize how much of a family the strawhats is. a lovely read all around.
destructivity is a poison that run through our veins by wasteofmind
Zoro thinks that, someday, they are going to kill each other.
a dysfunctional take of their relationship. it’s fascinating in the same way a car crash is fascinating — there’s an undercurrent of something violent, something visceral. this is one of the fics that inspired me to write migratory animals.
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
Ocean’s Child by 8ball ♡
Here's the truth: Zoro couldn't swim. He fell in the water and sank like a stone because there had never been anyone to teach him how to move his arms. He forgot that if he screamed for help the water would get in his mouth, and he even opening his eyes hurt.
Here’s the other truth, the one that stays a secret: a mermaid saved him.
a fascinating retelling of the one piece canon with mermaid!sanji. it feels a lot like a love letter to the seas, and it’s mesmerizing how sanji’s mermaid backstory is seamlessly weaved into the one piece canon.
with you by Cirro
How to find your life partner in three easy steps:
1. Punch them in the face
2. Insult their cognitive abilities
3. Embarrass them so much they agree to marry you
a wholesome two-part modern au series. my personal favorite is the second part, where sanji brings zoro home to meet zeff — complete with the two of them teasing sanji in their own ways.
The Proper Reaction (or What To Do When Your Son Brings His Boyfriend Home by three_days_late
Holidays at the Baratie were always hectic, but it's nothing Zeff can't handle. Sanji's new boyfriend, on the other hand...
on the topic of meet-the-family: the only thing more fun than zoro meeting zeff is zoro meeting zeff and the entirety of baratie staff. also includes one of my favorite line about bi!sanji: “sanji loves nice girls and bad boys”.
Exclusive by cuethe-pulse
Zoro loves Sanji, Sanji loves Zoro. Zoro wants to be exclusive, so Sanji should, too. Right?
this is a circus/bakery au. yes, you read that right, and yes, it works. i went into this fic with a lot of doubts and came out very satisfied with how fleshed out everyone in this au is, and i’m forever in awe with how the author can set up an entirely separate, vivid universe with so few words.
Delivery by styx_in_the_mud
Sanji is stuck delivering pizzas when Patty is out of commission for a while. Zoro likes to order pizza after training. Both of them are sort of idiots, but Zoro can be smooth as fuck if he puts his mind to it.
a fun, in-character au with good ol’ banter and cute get-together.
The End of It All by xpiester333xx
Humans have been forced underground due to the effects of a chemical weapon that has made surface life impossible. Sanji lives in one of these underground colonies and though he dreams of bigger things his life has been mundane; spent following strict rules and obeying higher commands. Or it was, until a stranger shows up and changes everything.
the author labelled it as sci-fi au, but I personally think it’s more dystopian-like? either way, while this fic is on the long side, it manages to keep everyone in character until the very end, which is something that can’t be said for a lot of fics.
well, there we go! feel free to drop me an ask if you want to rec me fics or ask for a more specific/themed rec list; i’ll also update this post regularly !!
i also have an ao3 donutsandcoffee if you want to see my take on these dorks o/
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Fic Recs Wrap Up - April 2020
(੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)੭*⁺˚. * ･ ｡ﾟ☆ﾟ
All Bets Are Off by dualwieldteacup @dualwieldteacup
Harry Potter's latest security assignment brings him to Las Vegas for the International Wizarding Casino World Series. At a magic underwater hotel, he is tasked with guarding the legendary and mysterious gambler known as Snake Eyes.
The stakes are high when both Galleons and emotions are involved. Not to mention peacock pool floats, secret pizza, and most importantly of all, second chances. Rec post
Just a Matter of Time by gracerene @gracerene09
Draco's in a bit of a rut. He's nearing forty, divorced, and he still can't figure out how to make his Time Turner reconstruction work. He's bored, he can admit it, so he's not nearly as concerned as he should be when his pet project malfunctions and sends him twenty years into the past. That is, until he ends up relying on a nineteen-year-old Harry Potter for help and starts developing some very inconvenient—and possibly reciprocated—feelings. Rec post
Lockdown by Vorabiza (Biza)
Four Gryffindors and four Slytherins under a forced lockdown in the potions classroom for two days. Rec post
The Pirate and the Prince by Maniacani @maniacani-arts, & PalenDrome (nerdherderette) @nerdherderette
Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met. Rec post
I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di
Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he's a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels. Harry has been struggling since the war and has become a recluse while trying to write his autobiography. An invitation to the Hogwarts class of 1998's 15th reunion isn't welcomed by either of them, but neither could predict how the night, and their reunion, will upend their lives. Rec post
Thunder by keyflight790 @keyflight790
The storm will disappear; the rain will subside; but what's left in its wake will last forever. A story of love and loss, redemption and thunder. Rec post
That Which Divides Us by oldenuf2nb
Three years after what would have been their seventh year at Hogwarts, the war between the forces of light and Voldemort's minions grinds on. But even within the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix there are vast disagreements over what is good for 'the Chosen One' and his volatile relationship with Draco Malfoy has many on edge. Sometimes even the best intentions can reap disaster. Rec post
Leaving Scars by Constance1
Draco Malfoy returns after disappearing without a trace for eighteen months, only to find that Harry has taken drastic measures to try to forget him. Rec post
Princes in Exile by LiteraryBeauty
After the war, Harry Potter is left with no one to save, no one to fight, and one extra wand. Draco Malfoy escapes punishment by leaving the country... or so he thinks. Seven years pass before they see each other again. Draco is no longer the master of his wand and a battle of talent and wills ensues. A story of a wand without a true master, and two men who fight to master each other... and themselves. Rec post
Love Always, Draco by Newshound
Even though it’s been four years since Harry and Draco parted ways, when Harry’s career takes a nosedive, he turns to his past for help. Harry and Draco join forces on a project both hope will reinvigorate their lives, and a journey into the secret world of Quidditch, becomes the path to renewed love. Rec post
(⁎⁍̴̛͂▿⁍̴̛͂⁎)*✲ﾟ*｡⋆♡♡
Here are some other great fics you might enjoy! (๑╹ڡ╹)╭ ～ ♡
A Father's Pride by OTPshipper98 @rockmarina
“Hi there,” his dad said gently. Then, when Scorpius didn’t reply, “Is everything okay?”
“Y...Yeah. I just—I need to talk to you about something.”
Upon hitting puberty, Scorpius finds out his body isn't quite developing as expected. Testosterone potions will help mitigate some of the symptoms, they say. This doesn't make him any less of a boy, they say. But Scorpius doesn't feel reassured; doesn't feel like he wants to be a boy anymore.
Now he just needs to tell his dad.
Or: Draco Malfoy loves badges and dad jokes. But, above all else, Draco Malfoy loves his kid. HP Trans Fest 2020
The Nobility of Ascent by Lomonaaeren
Not even his own fame and power are enough to get the Wizengamot to pass laws protecting Muggleborn and orphaned children, so Harry swallows his pride and goes to Draco Malfoy, who can teach him how to convince the prejudiced old bastards to listen to him. And Malfoy hasn’t even named a price. Which…concerns Harry, but he’s found a cause worth living for. And maybe someone, too. Draco tops Harry 2020
Open For Repairs by FeelsForBreakfast @drarrytrash
After the war, Draco works at a tv repair shop and Harry breaks things.
feat. sad boys in jumpers and more ABBA than is probably necessary.
Solntse by lumosinlove @lumosinlove
Sirius, a young Russian billionaire hires Remus, who is working part time as a call boy to make ends meet. Things happen, feelings occur.
I tried a few different things this month, I reblogged some recs that I had already done just to see if a different format or something might work better but I’m not sure if they worked out. IDK. I’m still experimenting a little. Usually smut seems to work, but the recs that had smut ( I Am Not Who I Became, Thunder) didn’t move. Any opinions you have on the recs from this month would be helpful, or from past recs that you’ve liked and reblogged.
As always, thank you for following, reading and everything! Love to you all!
xo Carey ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)💜💙💚💛❤💗💕💖
#April fic recs wrap up#fic recs#drarry fic recs#drarry#drarry squad#Draco Malfoy#Harry Potter#Drarry Fanfiction#wolfstar fanfiction#wolfstar#Remus Lupin#Sirius Black#My recs#hp trans fest 2020#Draco tops harry 2020#Carey's bookmark fic recs#Carey's personal Bookmarks#Old Fic rec rebloggle#Drarry Smut
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A Brief Timeline of Tina and James’ Tumultuous History for the Uninitiated !!
Tina and James have been an ongoing riot-fest since 2019, but not everyone knows just how complicated their relationship actually is. They might look all cute and cuddly now, but it’s been a long time coming and they’re still working on it. Also, there are some things here that happened with a previous Peter so they’re sort of... half ret-conned but kind of not, we’ll see? Please note that this is a huge post also!
Trigger Warnings: Emotional and Physical Abuse, Violence, Injury (self-harm and caused by someone else), Hospitals, Sex Work, Drug Mentions, Sex Mentions. These are all mentioned briefly but not spoken about in great detail.
So, James and Tina began life as mortal enemies. Tina started working at the Neverland Hotel when she was 19, mostly to look after Peter. They both absolutely hated James because he was a “pirate” (see: adult) and was always grumpy and bossing them around (you know, as a boss/ adult does) and they were always causing trouble for him.
Cue 2019. Tina was still firmly in the James bad pirate camp, but James finds Tina quite funny and endearing, if absolutely terrible at doing her job.
Incident 1: Tina attends a house party and while drunk catches James walking by and decides to cause some trouble for him. He follows her into the house, she continues to wind him up, and then he scoops her up and jumps into the pool with her as a bit of revenge for trouble making. (It should be noted here that Tina cannot swim and hates water, so she is absolutely livid and very embarrassed because the whole party saw this incident occur.) For a few days after, Tina avoids James in case she tries to kill him because she is #pissed.
Incident 2: The whole ordeal has been annoying Tina all week, and it culminates in her going in a huff while trying and failing to put clean sheets on the hotel beds. James investigates because she isn’t doing her job, and is a bit concerned for her. They begin to argue because Tina is in a bad mood but James doesn’t let her storm away and then the unexpected happens and Tina shows a vulnerable, meek side that neither of them saw coming. She let her guard down for a second (and it was our first oh shit moment), and then James was internally like “that was odd”.
Tina didn’t like that she let her guard down, so she's back on the must cause trouble and forget that ever happened BS as soon as she gets the chance.
Cue Incident 3: Halloween! James thinks it would be a great idea to make Tina try on some Halloween costumes for a themed Halloween Hotel thing as revenge for her throwing an absolute tantrum. Somehow... Lord... Somehow they end up flirting?? Tina is doing it to be a little shit because she thinks it’s funny, James is doing it to see what Tina does. About halfway through this, James has an epiphany! (You know, a good old Oh Shit I fancy Tina, fuck my life moment). She’s standing there in a fairy costume, James has her near enough against the wall and just as it looks like it's about to go too far, Peter swoops in and saves Tina from the evil pirate.
Incident 4: A curveball.
It’s mid-November, 2am. James is taking a walk home from his fight club, and he happens upon Tina’s street. She doesn’t sleep well because there’s always something worrying her that she 100% doesn’t let anyone know about because she doesn’t let her guard down for anyone, so she makes herself a wee cup of tea and she’s sitting on her front step drinking it. (This thread was so soft I swear) Tina is very sleepy, so her guard is fully down at this point, and for some reason she invites him in for a cup of tea if he promises not to tell anyone. She’s actually nice and honest for once, and the conversation is lovely, which has James like heart-eyes everywhere.
They talk a bit about how James used to be in a gang, and he mentions that he has a scar from where he was stabbed as a young man. In a sleepy state, Tina realises James is actually an okay person and tells him “You’re not so bad”. He mentions that the hotel is going to be refurbished, and Tina starts giving him sleepy ideas and then eventually accidentally falls asleep on his shoulder on the sofa. He puts her to bed, but quickly finds out Tina is clingy AF as she grips his arm and won’t let go when he puts her down. So, James has no choice but to sleep on her floor because he doesn’t have the heart to make her let go.
A little while after this the hotel had to close for refurbishment - it was being pretty much rebuilt from the ground up, so Peter had to go live with Tina in her tiny one-bedroom apartment, and she didn’t have to go to work for a while, but James kept her paid and employed.
Incident 5: There were some slowly building conversation between the sleepy 2am conversation and this incident, so it doesn’t come fully out of nowhere.
James gets a phone call from his estranged father, who he hasn’t spoken to since he was a child because of his mother, and asks to meet him. James panics that his life isn’t what he thinks it should be - in other words, he’s completely alone and unloved and doesn’t want his dad to know that - and asks Tina to pretend to be his fake fiancé for a few hours and says he’ll pay her for it.
She’s like “FINE if i’m getting paid but you also have to get us free McDonalds”. Tina stupidly suggests they pretend to get engaged in McDonalds for free chicken nuggets because it would be hilarious. Afterwards, they go to meet his dad, Tina pretends to be the fiancé and they eventually leave thinking all is swell. (Tina has not told Peter about this plan at all but she knows Peter doesn’t want her near James.)
Then shit just... hits the fan...
Incident 6: “Why did it have to be you?”
James, at this point, has realised he really, really, really likes Tina... And that he thinks he actually loves her. Instead of keeping it to himself, they’re walking back to the car, and he just comes out with the bombshell that he loves her and Tina does not take it well.
After a lifetime of always being strung along, Tina thinks he’s playing a cruel joke on her, because Tina wanted someone (Peter) to love her her whole life and she never got it. People have always toyed with her feelings like this in the past. When he insists he’s not joking she gets even more angry and says “Why did it have to be you?” which really stung James who has already been made feel worthless his whole life (to be revealed in a later point). Tina thinks James used her, and it’s a whole mess. They end up fighting and there are bitter tears and they have to sit in the car home like... not feeling great!! In an unexpected turn though, Tina softens and tries to lighten the mood before they get home. James’ self-worth has tanked by this point, which leads to self harm when he finally gets home, but a text from Tina pulls him out of it.
They think that’s the end of it, that Tina will never speak to James again, and James will be sad forever, but there’s more!
Incident 7: Word gets to Peter that Tina and Hook are engaged, and he is absolutely livid at Tina and demands she never speak to him again (but little does he know that somehow Tina felt so bad about what she said that she started texting James again, not apologising but like making jokes and somehow she ended up flirting with him again, and they were kind of low-key talking again. Basically by this point Tina is like Why can I not stop talking to him?) Tina insists to Peter that the whole thing was fake and that she only did it for the nuggets. Tina has promised never to speak to James again, and for a hot minute she “saw sense” and intended on not seeing him again except for work, so no more weird plans or anything because Peter said.
Then Incident 8: We are roughly at the end of January 2020. One night, at 2am Tina gets a phone call from James. He sounds awful, and he tells her he loves her again at which point Tina is confused, thinking he’s drunk. Before he can answer Tina’s question, someone takes over the call. He had been on his way to the hospital because he had been stabbed by a member of his old gang and was, y’know, actively dying.
Tina freaks out for multiple reasons, but mostly because she realises she actually really cannot lose James because he might actually be her friend, and he’s nice to her and he treats her well. (At this point she’s feeling something else but it has fully not clicked). In a pure blur, she rushes to the hospital, not telling Peter, because she thought he was legit going to die, and she was the last person he wanted to talk to before he went. Tina waits there on her own the entire time (for actual hours) while James is in emergency surgery, not knowing what’s going to happen or why she’s so scared.
In the early hours of the morning, he finally is in recovery, and Tina gets to see him, distraught talking to him while he’s out for the count. He comes around for a little bit, they have a cute, melancholy conversation and she gets to go home when the fear of him dying is gone.
Tina hen visits him almost every day in the hospital “for work related things” because she made a moodboard for one of the hotel room’s themes and needs an excuse to talk to him more. (Somewhere around here is Valentine’s Day and James feels jealous that Tina is making Peter something for dinner.)
James eventually makes a recovery and gets out of the hospital and Tina has continued to see him through the whole journey and not tell a single person that she was there on the night of the emergency. (She is completely bottling it up at this point and it’s not doing her good.) Unfortunately, James’ past catches up to him a second time.
Incident 9: He has been home for a short amount of time, but one afternoon James sends Tina a text saying that he doesn’t want anything to do with her any more. He gets quite harsh with her to really send that message home, and Tina is raging because she’s like you put me through all this emotional turmoil for nOTHING?!?!?! I think the fuck not!
He suddenly stops replying, but instead of taking the hint, Tina decides to go to James’ house for a stern word with him. James starts by trying to get her to leave angrily, but it doesn’t work because she’s stubborn. We quickly find out that the reason he wants her out of his life is to protect her from his mother! She heard about the “engagement” and wasn’t happy about it.
This is where James reveals the really hard life that he has led up to this point - His mother blamed him for his father leaving them, and then made it seem like James died to hurt his father. James ended up in care until he was 18 (and was in a gang through his teens and 20s), and was later forced to become a male escort when his mother came back for more revenge. She was just... hella abusive, not a fun time, and now, after a few years of James thinking he had gotten away from that life she showed up because she couldn’t let him be happily engaged.
The woman turns up at the house while Tina is there and starts fighting with James. At some point Tina sees nothing but red because dont treat him like that!!! and she ends up going on the attack. They finally get the woman out of the house and from that point on Tina is like nope I’m in this, must protect James!!!!!!!
Tina and James are fully not processing any of this at this point. The emotional turmoil they've both had in a short space of time is so bad that they're both 5 minutes away from a full mental breakdown and they're fully attached to each other at this point because of it.
So, one of Tina's personality traits at this point is that for sOme reason she just cannot help herself from trying to wind up James because it gets her attention. It always leads to low-key flirting that she won't admit to because she's fully in denial that she fancies him at this point, and James goes with it because he DOES fancy her and thinks it's cute. They have a few conversations after this where they're being nice to each other and whatever so there's a slight build up to this next part that Naomi and I didn't see coming until we got there...
This leads us to Incident 10: The infamous Bubbles thread.
SOOOOOOOOOO Tina, looking for attention, shows up to James' house with the intention of bugging him until he agrees to throw a party at the hotel. Totally innocent, the following was genuinely not planned on Tina’s part. Anyway, Tina shows up and James is in the bath but by this point she's fully on the I'm here for attention and this will be hilarious road so she straight up just walks into his house, goes looking for him, finds him in the bathroom and kicks off her shoes to sit on the edge of the bath for a casual conversation. (There are bubbles so do not worry, she sees nothing!)
James is rightfully thinking “wtf Tina?” but she just keeps insisting on this party like this is a normal way to ask for anything. He gets sick of it and just pulls her into the bath fully clothed. There's too much flirting going on, but they get out and get changed, and we thought that was gonna be the end of it.
But then tension builds and builds, and the penny drops. It goes where you think. They end up sleeping together, which only complicates the matter because Tina isn’t over her feelings for Peter at this point, and she is TERRIFIED that he will find out about it, so she asks James to keep it a secret.
All of this tension and drama is building and finally Tina has an actual total meltdown a few months later because at this point she hasn't told anyone any of this, and it's been building for months. [Note: This was triggered by a plot in the RP we were in at the time, which is ret conned plot-wise here, but the meltdown and following comfort still occurred because it was important. Essentially, there was a mass spiking of drinks at a festival, which made Tina paranoid and all the previous trauma hit her on the come comedown, which sent her into a 3-day-long depressive episode] Following her crisis and meltdown, James came along to see if she was okay because he couldn't get a hold of her for 3 days and she confesses that she fancies him (but hasn't said love yet).
They're fully attached to each other at this point and end up with this weird secret relationship thing going that Tina is trying to keep from Peter because she gets so paranoid that he'll never want to speak to her again. (This is where all of Tina’s Peter issues are completely heightened because she has this terrible, debilitating fear that she will hurt Peter and that he’ll hate her, because Peter’s happiness is supposed to come first.)
Eventually, Tina finds that she has no choice but to tell Peter because it's driving her nuts and she doesn't want to tell him accidentally because she's having another meltdown. It isn’t fair on James either, who genuinely loves her, and is so kind and warm and loving toward her and she is ajkgajghuahg every time she is near him. James issues her an ultimatum, but she has to tell him or he will be finished with her. She realises she can’t let that happen either and she’s stuck in the turmoil of not wanting to lose the two most important people in her life.
(Somewhere in here James ends up caring for his younger twin sisters, but this is a story for Naomi to explain if you need it.)
Incident 11: Tina tells Peter some time in November, leading to another meltdown. She confesses that there has been something going on between her and James, tells part of the emotional turmoil from the hospital and so on, and that she lied and broke her promise. [This happened in between Peter players, some creative liberties were taken]
Peter was rightfully livid about the whole thing. Read this for the meltdown.
As punishment for lying, and having a thing for thee Pirate James Hook, Peter banishes her (which in Lost Boy speak is basically death. She was terrified he would banish her and he did it) for two weeks. Tina has another total meltdown following the banishment and for the first time ever calls James to ask for help because she's so heartbroken that she can't function thinking she had lost Peter forever.
Peter disappeared some time during this two-week period, returned briefly at Christmas pretending nothing happened, and then disappeared again until recently so Tina is all over the place. For the first week she literally can't do anything, but also has been thinking a lot a lot, and then on the second week at some point she finally tells James she loves him. He showed up to fix the cabinet door she broke mid-meltdown and she's just like aiuhauighiuahgu shit i love you.
Incident 12: The Blackout, December 5th. James had plans to propose now that he really knew Tina loved him, but the blackout and the hotel being thrown into chaos threw his plan completely out the window. Until it didn’t.
Tina accidentally used the proposal mug on the final day to make James a cup of tea to de-stress while they were at the hotel, inadvertently proposing to James by accident. After a proper explanation, James finally pops the question and Tina says yes. (Because we love chaos, they snuck away from the hotel for a while for... some not safe for the workplace things) and later returned like nothing happened.
So now they’re engaged and that’s us just about up to date. I think?
Now all that’s left to do is tell Peter about the engagement...
#tina x hook#abuse tw#violence tw#self harm tw#hospital tw#drug mentions tw#idk what to tag this as#so#drabble#A Brief Timeline of Tina and James’ Tumultuous History for the Uninitiated#tina x James
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2020 May Update
I hope you're all staying safe and healthy during this time of Coronavirus!
We continue towards the finish line, slowly, but surely. Coronavirus did throw a few wrenches in our plans. Our talks with a publisher about a possible sponsored appearance at an upcoming event stalled.
But that was always just a possibility. We have a backup plan. If we didn't win a sponsor, we were just going to pay our own way to a convention. That's what most indies do! Anyway, that's canceled too. It doesn't seem like there'll be any conventions to showcase in the near future...
Nevertheless, we did move forward in other areas. We've got the press materials ready as well as the game's official launch site up. You can view it in its prelaunch state at this link. NOTE, It is in a "prelaunch" state, so some media links are being withheld until reveal time. But there are a bunch of new pictures and artwork you can look at.
You might notice the link reads "phoenotopia.wordpress.com". The plan is to direct "phoenotopia.com" to it in the near future. That means if you wanted to reach this tumblr specifically, you'll have to visit it at its tumblr link, "phoenotopia.tumblr.com" (which, I just noticed doesn't work... huh). Anyway, since this is a dev blog, I'll talk a little bit about the journey of creating the website.
SQUARESPACE vs WIX vs WORDPRESS
I actually tried 3 different services (in the above order), before I settled on wordpress. I did a bunch of researching, and most reviews seemed to point at WIX >= SQUARESPACE >>> WORDPRESS.
I went with Squarespace first, since it was recommended a bunch on some youtube videos I saw (guess marketing works). Even though it didn't win outright in the reviews, my impression of it was "less quantity, but more quality." I tried it and found it serviceable. It was kinda sluggish, with some not so intuitive areas. I had to ask for help a few times for some things that would seem simple ("how do I change the BG and font color and of the music player?", etc).
That was last year, when I *thought* I was near launch and would need a press site soon. One year later (present day), it was time to create a press site again, and since my website with Squarespace expired (I had only signed up for a trial period), it was a good opportunity to try Wix, especially since Pirate had lots of praise for Wix.
My impression of Wix was that it was... too distracting. After I chose a theme, in the editor view I felt bombarded by menus. Everywhere you move the mouse, things kept lighting and popping up. And it was slow. So I guess it was sorta like Squarespace, but maybe even a little worse?
(Easy ways to preview the website from phones and tablets was one of wordpress’s neat features)
What prompted me to try Wordpress was one of their slogans "35% of the web uses WordPress". If it's good enough for 35% of websites, it's good enough for me! I ended up liking it most of all. It's definitely less featured, which suited me, since I'm not trying to create something too fancy either. Unlike the other website builders which emphasize free-form, wordpress was more rigid. I couldn't drag and drop an element just anywhere - I found that comforting in a "I can't screw this up" sorta way. The most important thing was that it was fast. Loading the editor view to Wix took 11 seconds vs 4 seconds with Wordpress. And the speed advantage of wordpress extends across every action. Similarly, when Chrome launched 10+ years ago, it was also less featured vs Firefox, but it became my choice browser. I guess speed is something I value highly.
Anyway, my experience is from a drag/drop perspective with minimal coding. This is also NOT a paid advertisement. However, if wordpress would like to send some money my way, I would not be opposed... (call me!)
Achievements, Bugfixes, and Cleanup
Lots of small tasks and polish was done over the past 2 months. I finally fixed the time tracking bug - important because the Speed Run achievement depended on it. I also finally finished implementing all the technical stuff for the achievements. There was a bug where some enemies would stack up too many light sources, causing them to appear too bright and drain system resources. That's now also fixed. Lots of other small ones that don't bear mentioning.
A neat trivia about the game is that there's a final super hard achievement for those seeking to prove their mastery over the game. The player has to beat the game having never picked up a heart or energy upgrade. When playing under this constraint, some enemies can even kill the player in one hit! In the game's most current iteration, even I failed to achieve it, so I'm definitely going to have to go in and tweak things a little more.
Age Ratings
I went and got the game's age rating. I did a little research on this - it's quite fascinating. ESRB would be the age ratings board for the United States (where I'm based). But if you were in Europe, you'd get a PEGI rating. Then there's ACB for Australia and so forth. So if you wanted to launch a game globally, you'd have to deal with this process over and over, and each country rates things a little differently... that's a lot of work!
Enter IARC (International Age Rating Coalition), which aimed to simplify the process by being the one standard that you apply to, and from which you could then get the equivalent rating for all participating countries. IARC is an entirely automated process - probably necessary due to the boom of digital titles across all platforms, particularly mobile.
IARC is great for me, because they relaxed the standards for getting a rating. From my understanding, the process used to be more difficult. And you'd have to pay ESRB a hefty chunk to get a rating, but with IARC, it's totally free! So long as it's for digital and it's used only on licensed sites and store fronts. If I wanted to launch the game physically, I'd have to deal with ESRB on an individual basis again.
Without further ado, here's Phoenotopia's IARC ratings:
Fascinating... Phoenotopia is rated "Mature" in Australia... but for "Horror". Which seems suspect. The horror elements are rare (remember Dreadlands?). But when I was answering their questionnaire, they provided a video example of what they considered "horror", and it was pretty mild. About as mild as my game, so I checked that box. It is what it is...
We also got a "Teen" rating for ESRB for reasons of Fantasy Violence and "Mild Blood". This one is kinda iffy. In the game, if you hit a giant bug, it spits out a few drops of green blood. Does that really count as blood? Ocarina of time skirted by with an E rating 2 decades ago, and it let a dude spit out green blood. However, since IIARC is an automated process, I didn't see any place to dispute. But also, I wouldn't have disputed it anyway. A "T" rating is cooler than an "E" rating!
I'd like to mention this is not a paid advertisement for IARC. However, if IARC would like to send some money my way, I would not be opposed... (call me!)
Submission
I expect to polish the game for about 2 (maybe 3) more weeks. After which, I'll be submitting the game to the console "authority". From my understanding, I'll then have to wait a month while they "inspect" the title. After which, I'm then cleared to have an official launch date - which I'll probably set to be 1 month after getting approval.
So the plan is to have a very short marketing campaign. The reveal trailer will basically drop 1 month before release. And we're going to sprint to the finish line. Some marketing campaigns are 6 months to a couple years. Ours will be one month... Let's hope it works.
Wrench
That's what the plan looks like right now, but there is a possible upcoming wrench in this whole thing. I recently learned that my version of Unity is too old. Games running on old Unity versions are not automatically accepted - so I'll have to apply for an exemption. If the exemption gets rejected, we can't launch without upgrading, which will require *significant* work...
This came as a surprise to me. When I started dabbling in games development a decade ago, the most common advice I found online was "Make Games, not Game Engines." I interpreted this to mean lock in your technologies. There's always going to be a new and shinier bell or whistle, but if you keep chasing it, you're not going to work on the actual content of the game. That's probably what kept me to releasing the original game on Flash. That was a game I was making as a hobby while working a full-time job. By the time I quit my job to go full-time indie dev, Flash had long been a dead technology. But I remembered "do you want to build game engines or games?" And so I pressed forward.
So that mindset could potentially backfire here. If PC was the lead SKU, we wouldn't have these issues since PC is more relaxed as a platform. Consoles, as I'm now learning, have an ever forward shifting window of technologies. If we get rejected for the exemption, there's a couple ways we can play it. One, we go through the pain of upgrading which will take months... Two, we pivot and make PC the lead SKU again, but have to handle porting that plus its specific features, which will also take months...
So why is updating such a big issue? Unity has changed drastically over the years. When I started, it was a lot less 2D friendly. They didn't have an official 2D tilemap solution, so you had to build your own or buy a 3rd party library from their asset store. I used 2DTK for tilemaps - 2DTK is now entirely deprecated. Similarly, I had to search for and purchase a good asset to display crisp text - since you couldn't even do that in Unity back then (heh). That's the story for a lot of old Unity stuff. Think of it as a first mover's "disadvantage".
Hopefully it won't come to that, since I'm pretty spent as a developer. I've been ready for this to be over, and I know many of you feel the same. Hopefully soon! As usual, I'll update in 2 months at the latest (end of June). An update might come earlier if we have some good news to share sooner. Until then!
Fanart and Cosplay
This first picture comes from roccy_chair and shows Gail basked in light. I like how her pose and equipment together form an "X". That's a neat hidden symmetry. The way she floats also kinda reminds me of Crono's "Shining" spell. Perhaps Gail should have the ability to cast spells? Hmmm...
Cody G returns with a new art depicting the 2 Moonstone enthusiasts. I like Fran's starry-eyed expression here. That's true love on display. I also like how the Moonstones are depicted as flat and coin-shaped. Very unique! Also note Gail makes an appearance in the back :D
Thanks to M1shaaa for this cosplay of Gail! There's a lot to like here! The vibrant pink hair. The costume with 3 stitches across the vest. The pose with slingshot, accurate to Gail's depiction in the box art. Amazingly, this might also be the very *first* cosplay of Gail! Will and Pirate both alerted me about it excitedly since they were pretty stoked. We joked that we crossed the final milestone in terms of fandom.
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Pirate UK plush: "Happy International Talk like a Pirate Day 2020, yarr!
I talk like a Pirate every day, yo ho ho!
We be hunting for precious booty, aye!
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