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husbandohunter · 3 years

Note

Dottore with short drabble “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

Something angsty pls? Thank you!

Tainted Glass [Dottore x Reader/Genshin Impact]

Synopsis: Can you escape the prison you made?

(A twisted Cinderella story. The girl was covered in cinders because she was fatally addicted to drowning in flames.)

Warnings: angst, emotional abuse, violence, death

(A/n): To be honest anon, I didn’t know what the word ‘drabble’ means until I googled it. I uh...hope you don’t mind the length :>

-----------------------

You fell back against the cold hard floor with your arms bent and head turned sideways. The stinging pain spreads across your cheek. It burns. But your mind was still trying to register what had just came into fruition.

Why?

The thought was so foreign somehow as if you could hardly believe he was doing this. But then the scene plays in your head again. You froze, your gaze enlarged and clueless while staring at the pale ground as it slowly begins to darken in the seeping movement of his menacing, haunting shadow.

"Insolent woman, you wretch!" He spat in a disgusted tone, "How dare you speak to me in such demanding manner? Have I already told you, only talk when you have something important to say?"

You didn't respond, rather you merely let the strands fall in front of your vision as you gingerly pressed your hand against the place where he hit you.

I…don't quite understand…

Dottore glowers down at your hunched form. He was never a man known for the virtue of patience. This man, the one who calls him your husband, you learned a long time ago to not meet his eyes as they would signal a hint of dominance amidst his authority, especially during moments like these. You came to feel his eyes instead, they were usually intense and full of wrath, sometimes crazed and curious while looking at his finest creations. He always loved experimenting in his labratory. After all, it was the only thing that could truly make the madman smile.

What is it that I'm missing? Where did I go wrong?

And you would do anything to obtain at least a fraction of the love he had left in his heart.

He marches onward with heavy footsteps, paying no mind to your well-being, "Tch get out of my sight. I don't have the time to entertain with anymore these theatrics."

At the sound of him leaving you darted your attention towards him, "Wait, come back. Come back, " you plea softly, "Hector…" But he ignores your call. The back of your fiance disappears behind the door and slams it with a resounding thud. He was gone. You couldn't save him.

"No," As a result, you burried your face into your palms and cried.

“I'm sorry.”

…

What is love?

Being raised in one of the most prestigious bloodlines of Fontaine, a life filled with riches since your parents were well known scholars throughout Teyvat, they provided you and your family with everything you needed. From exquisite dishes to priceless jewelry, yet even among those riches you never did find an answer to your question. They were tangibles and short-lasting, eventually leaving you with nothing until the glass of your heart was filled empty. They seemed to have cared more about their fortune along with the brightest child of their family line, your brother, a male heir, someone who fulfilled their expectations where you couldn't do so. And because he was able to give them what they wanted, he was loved.

I see, love is conditional.

Realizing that you possessed no talent to achieve what your brother had accomplished, you came to accept that you were undeserving of their love. Love was for the smart. Love was for the gifted. Love was for everything you are not. There was no place for your kind and thus you locked yourself up in your bedroom chambers along with your fragile heart where no one would try to find you, picking up the books upon the shelves and getting lost in their fantasies.

They told you many beautiful things about the world and many reasons why it was so tragic. Because they weren't real. The story begins with a princess who was a kind-hearted soul, deprived from the care of her evil stepmother and dreams of marrying a prince from a land far far away. They often end on a happily ever after with the princes finding her one true love. You've never seen anything like it. Where two people, despite the struggles they went through, loved each other unconditionally.

Unconditional love only exists in dreams.

Or so you thought to believe.

One day a man marched right at the doorsteps of your mansion. He was a student coming all the way from Sumeru Academia and had high hopes of building a business partnership with your father. The man was declined of course, you watched from the garden bushes as he was sent off back into his carriage. He stops abruptly and turns his head ajar to catch your figure, his inquisitive eyes were both striking and sharp. Like thorns of a rose that was ready to prick anyone who dares to come close. Even so, they made a very lasting impression.

Red eyes.

It was the first time that someone had looked your way.

Couple of months later, the government had arranged a grand ball where all nobles would gather and commit to building their social circle. Useless events. There was no reason for you to engage. While your parents were occupied with the latest gossips and your brother surrounded by fathers who were eager to marry their daughters to him, you snuck outside to the balcony and hid away from the crowd. Quiet at last. And as things should be. The moon was your only friend because she was just like you; half empty. Maybe that was why you still had a glimmer of hope for the other half to be filled.

Part white, you inquired, pristine and untainted. From far away it looked similar to snow.

"My, how pleasantly surprising."

While the other part was stained with black cinders.

You glanced over your shoulder to see a man leaning against the pillar. His mint coloured bangs were slicked back in a trendy fashion, complimenting the white suit he adorned himself with. The golden chains hanging around his ebony boots dangled and clanged with each step he took forward until the light finally reveals his face.

"You seem familiar," you say while squinting your eyes, "Are you the person my father rejected back in February?"

He quirks one brow and you were afraid if you had offended him. But before you could utter an apology, the man splits his lips into a toothy grin and bursts out into a maniac-like laughter. He was completely insane, you thought to yourself. Though he paid no mind to your discomfort and continued to dwell in his amusement, "Hahaha straightforward, I like it! So what if I am? Is it a requirement to be a noble for me to simply have a chat?"

"And if I may ask why?"

"Hmmm, why?" The man reaches for the balcony and presses his back there. He threw his head backward before drilling his ruby gaze into yours, "I too am not fond of annoying crowds. Those snobbish fools thinking they're above everyone else just because they have a couple of mora when that is all they are worth. It's almost too hilarious for my own good."

You could tell there was disdain in his tone. Mainly towards your father who were one of the many unkind nobles of Fontaine and was only liked because of his success. Gripping your hands upon the stone railings, you looked down at the distant trees below while the wind rustled them apart, "I can't deny that," you say dissapointedly, "It's common for nobles not to associate with lower classes as it could potentially ruin their image. Though I may not have been there but I'm sure you had much to offer in terms of your brilliance, erm, Mister…?"

"Hector," Hector placed a palm on his chest with a polite bow following suit, "Hector Dufour-Lapointé. It is a pleasure to make you an acquaintance Lady (Y/n)."

"You know my name?"

"How could I not?" Hector smirks lazily as he danced around you, "I saw you before hiding behind the rose bushes back in your estate. Quite curious why you didn't attempt to say hello."

He even remembers that too. You fiddled with the fabric of your dress, "My apologies. I'm not use to socializing so much."

“Is that so? I think you're not giving yourself enough credit," he complimented while shrugging, "This is much more entertaining than hanging in that insufferably crowded room, it was an unexpected occurence to meet you here of all places. However, I must say time can fly if I'm able to enjoy myself."

You shifted away from his stare, "You flatter me. We've only been talking for a few minutes."

"I have yet to realize it then" Hector's cheerfulness remains at stance despite your gloomy response. He leans forward like a curious child and tosses you a question, "Then allow me to ask, what brings you out here Lady (Y/n)? I don't see any reason when your family are such highly respected people of Fontaine."

"I'm not like them!" You retort instantly, causing the man to glance at you with skepticism, "I mean, I have nothing to do with them and they have nothing to do with me. That's just how it is. They already have Clement after all…"

Why am I telling him this?

"Ah your brother I assume. Yes so I've heard much about his genius mind. There were a few instances where he and I collaborated at Sumeru Academia," Hector speaks as if regarding to his unpleasant memories, "Although he never said anything about having a sister."

"We're not that close. And I'm not very fond of him," you confessed bluntly.

"Neither am I," Hector agreed with a scowl, "He claims his position using the knowledge derived from history books but never tries to think beyond the norm. That ignorant mindset of his will surely be his downfall one day."

"Ignorance can lead to anyone's downfall. If they turn a blind eye to the truth, so much can be taken from them," you paused shortly from rambling too much, "That's what I read in books at least."

"As expected of your lineage," he sighs whimsically, "Such avid readers."

"Well my family prefers documents and research. I've gone through them too but I will always love reading fiction."

"Ha! Seems you really are trying to be different from the rest of your family."

Seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hours, you had already forgotten about the cold breeze despite your dress being less than ideal for the outdoors. The man, although he can be a little to blathering at times, was more than what seemed to be on the surface. At first you thought of him as someone here to take advantage of your relations to your father but he seemed so sincere when listening to your stories, so eager while expressing his thoughts and even made you laugh a couple of times. You didn't realize that the clock had already struck twelve as the guests were preparing to leave but you just weren't ready to do the same.

"Until next time (Y/n)," he takes your fingers and pressed a kiss on top of them, though you were more struck by how he addressed you without honorifics, "I look forward to speaking with you again."

A warm smile graces your lips as you cursty, "Likewise Hector. Thank you for listening to me. I know I must have taken a long time."

Hector sneered but you already learned that it was simply his way of expressing amusement, "Hardly. I was thoroughly entertained."

When your parents found out about your meeting with him, they made it clear that you would never see him again. Hector Dufour-Lapointé is what he calls himself but the real name behind this man was Hector Valliere who came from a village hidden in the west of Fontaine. Rumours said that he was chased out of his hometown by an angry mob, claiming him to be a madman conducting unethical experiments on humans. Shortly after his arrival in Sumeru, he abandoned his past identity and replaced it with a new one in order to enter the academy under legal supervision. Associating with a man of a suspicious reputation would only cause harm to your family's name. Though you could barely care much about their reputation. There was nothing for you to benefit from it.

Few weeks have passed and you evetually gave up on the thought of hearing from Hector. They were only fleeting moments, nothing more. Your routine would stay the same as you kept on plucking more books off the shelves, killing whatever time you had. However the activities you used to enjoy somehow lost it's flair and there would be a slight pain in your chest whenever you turn to a page with the princess as she is surrounded by her friends. What exactly changed? Your family still treated you the same. Did you suddenly grow bored from doing the same thing everyday? Why is it that you feel much more lonelier despite being alone for so long? It was hard to tell in a singular perspective. If only there was someone here to give you some insights on things you couldn't see…

A silver bird lands by your front window and you nearly fell out of your chair as it flapped their wings violently. A machine?! They dropped what seems to be an envelope within the thick bushes before taking off and buzzing into the evening sky. You switched off the lock and lifted the glass within a single movement, snatching the piece of paper so that the wind wouldn't blow it away. Hastily you opened it. Both curious and cautious of why would anyone send you mail in such a discreet approach.

Chère Mademoiselle (Y/n),

I can only imagine the shock of your expression once reading this letter. I'm only writing to you since I assume that your father had already told you those nasty rumours about my past. No matter. I trust that you have a good head on your shoulders to not prejudge people using such miniscule details. I wish to speak with you again. Unless you have other plans staying in that stuffy room of yours, meet me behind the clock tower at 11:00 p.m. Don't be late.

Bien à vous,

"It really is him!" The happiness spreads all across your features as you clutched the letter to your chest. For some reason, your heart wouldn't stop racing. It was a simple yet thoughful action on his part but despite how short his greeting was, every word held the weight of a thousand sparks, "I…I can't stop smiling."

And without hesitation, you prepared to leave. No one noticed your absence.

-------

It was only halfway where you realized that Hector didn't give many details redgarding why he planned this sudden event. You caught sight of him standing under the roofs with his hands hidden behind his back. He had on his signature lopsided grin, brows uneven as he glanced at you casually.

"How very punctual, were you so eager that you couldn't wait?" He teases.

"I was surprised when your bird knocked upon my window," you inform, "Is it something urgent?"

"Not at all. I merely wanted to catch up with old times," Hector tilts forward to emphasize his suggestion, "Care to indulge me for a bit?"

You crossed your arms, "Then what is it that you're hiding behind your back?"

"Hmm?" He hums, "You mean this?"

"Ah!"

Roses. A bouquet of bright red flowers were presented to you, nicely wrapped in fabric. In the language of Fontaine, recieving them could mean multiple of things and you couldn't help but feel hesitant despite his thoughtful gesture, "Why are you giving me this?"

"Is it so wrong for me to be a gentleman? I thought it would be best to prepare you a gift after you put all that effort to come out in such a late hour," Hector mused to himself, "Especially when you had to make sure no prying eyes would catch us."

You let out a small laugh before accepting the bouquet, "I wouldn't go as far to say that."

"Oh?" Although it was hard to see, Hector managed to catch a glimpse of your flushed cheeks hidden behind the flowers. A darken smirk climbs onto his face at the inviting thought of what it could mean, "Tell me more."

The whole night you both spent walking around the empty plaza with only the stars as your guide. They paved a silver path reflected in the horizon above, free flowing like one of the many watercolour paintings hung in your chambers, uncertain where they may lead but you followed them regardless. If it weren't for Hector's inivtation you might have never known about the parts of your city due to the restricted lifestyle you lived. He listened to every one of them. The stories you had to tell when there was no one for you to talk to and the complaints about your brother whenever he wanted to snitch on your actions just to get the praise out of your father. You expressed your frustrations when speaking about your incompetences, joy after reading a good fairytale book written by your favourite author, there was so much to say that you were worried if Hector soon grew tired from them.

"Go on. I'm listening."

And your heart flutters again. Suddenly everything felt so light with each step you took, it was as if you walked across the stars in the sky rather than the heavy pavement of the ground you called your home. But even if happiness was a bliss, it tormented you. Because companionship made you realize how poor your were all along. That you had everything yet you had nothing, slowly withering away like the roses you held in your hand. Convinced that your existence was worth nothing more than nothing itself. Doomed to be dismissed and forgotten. Rotting away...Hector stays by your side as you cried softly into the night.

From a distance the bell rings and echoes just like the time before during Fontaine's grand ball. Hector shows you a secret route so that no one could find you.

"Will you write to me again?"

The request was so innocent, purely from genuine intentions and devoided of anything he had in mind. Hector would always laugh in these situations when things have gone unexpectedly yet pleasingly his way but held back knowing that it would be foolish to waste such a priceless opportunity. And so he gave you his smile, one full of secrets where you had mistakened it as a promise, "Of course my dear."

Every night you could no longer fall asleep since he had occupied your thoughts completely. Sometimes you'd dream of him and their tales would unfold similarly to the ones you have read. It gone to the point where the maids would have to wake you up during late afternoons due to the dramatic change in your sleep schedule. Though, you didn't care what they did to you. As long as no one found out about your secret rendezvous.

You never thought that there'd be a day where you would voluntarily give up reading your beloved fairytales. They were now replaced by a stash of his letters that have been accumulated over the past few months. You read them each day, pacing back and forth within the walls of your room, whispering his sentences as if he were the one saying them to you. He made you feel special. You were addicted to this feeling. Eventually you managed to memorize his words by heart.

The pages of your diary were filled with notes. Like your very own fairytale carved into reality. From the rose petal, now dried, to the hairpin he snatched from a distracted merchant and a single strand of his hair you found within your cloak after a warm embrace, all of these items, a remnant of the man you loved were taped up in these pages. Sometimes you could even feel his prescence because it was all you needed. It didn't matter if Clement threw insults about how worthless your existence was, your parents could lock you in this prison if they wanted to but they shall never take away Hector from you. Never. You swear it. He was your whole world and the prince who saved you from a life made of aching emptiness. You would do anything to keep him by your side. Anything to gain his affection.

Anything.

"I had a feeling that you were the culprit dear sister."

Your arms stutters as they clutched tightly on the scrolls you took off from the shelves. The light crept into the room like arms reaching out to clutch around your ankles, warning you for trespassing. You turned around dreadfully to see Clement pressing his shoulder against the doorframe with his arms folded and a wicked expression aimed at your pitiful state.

"Why…Why are you still awake?" You say in disbelief, "I thought everyone was asleep."

"Please. Not only are you shameless but hypocritical as well. You truly are a dissapointment to our family."

"Wait," taking a step forward, you stopped him before he makes his exit, "I'll put them back. Just don't tell father about this."

But like your parents, your brother was unkind. Clement doubles over and hugs his torso, cackling through his teeth, "Is that how it is?" He swipes his arm up and you see a parchment paper held between his fingers.

"No!"

"Ma chérie (Y/n). I must say all this tenacious effort of sneaking in my letters to your window is becoming more and more tiresome. But of course, you are an exception. I want the scrolls you've mentioned the other day at my lair tomorrow evening. Make sure no one discovers this. I'm counting on you. Cordialement! Hector."

"No…" you whispered, feeling the weight of the world fall upon your shoulders as it shattered apart. Hector. If possible, you hoped that the pieces could just crush you right then and there. Your knees felt weak and a fright takes over but despite your turmoil, Clement didn't show a shred of sympathy.

"So this is why you've been acting odd lately. Pathetic," he flaps the paper tauntingly in his grasp, "I can't decide if I should be impressed or baffled by your actions. A secret romance with a criminal and the bloodline of Fontaine's most respected government associates? Even though you've hit rock bottom, you still decided to dig deeper."

"Clement you don't understand!" Stumbling upon your footsteps, you desperately tried to convey your predicament even if it meant feeding his ego, "Hector is not the man you think. He was shunned by the people of his hometown, treating him as if he were nothing. They…They ignored him! All this time he needed someone to recognize his brilliance, someone to understand." Shakily, you brought your tensed arms to your chest and screamed a silent whisper, "Someone to listen but no one did. He must have felt so alone…"

Clement flinches when you suddenly clutched onto his biceps. When he looked into your eyes, a shiver ran down his spine.

"Hector is counting on me. I'm the only one who can save him. No one else. He needs me Clement, he needs me!"

"Tch."

An ear-splitting scream of his hand against your face echoes across the room. It knocked you out of your stance and you bumped into the table, grunting while the scrolls to tumbled to the floor.

"Crazy woman, I'm embarassed to be related to you!"

While you were still trying to regain your balance, your brother had already ran off. It wouldn't be long before he alerted your parents, the clock ticking away like sand until the final hour leaves you with nothing but an empty glass.

"No," despair swallows the strength away from your legs and you crawled towards where he used to stand, "Don't take him away from me…I need him…"

I can't live without him.

Tears begin to form by the corners of your eyes as you clenched your teeth. This was no time to cry. Balling your fists, you sprinted out of the room, pushing whatever stood in your way as if you were running for your life.

And if you considered everything else, it wasn't that far from the truth.

-------

"Hector! Hector are you there?" After arriving upon his house, you began knocking on his door aggressively. The lock clicks and you were greeted by an evidently annoyed man gnawing his teeth together.

"Tsk. There better be a good reason-"

"They're coming for us! We have to go. Now. Before it's too late. My father is probably already waking and making arrangements for you to-"

"Enough, I can't even catch what you're saying," He pinches the bridge of his nose while you were still stuck in a frenzy state. He takes a step back and opens the door wider, gesturing for you to come inside, "Get in already. I have a feeling that this will be a long night."

Hector observes intently at the words you tell him.

Not out of concern but akin to the way he watches the insects react when he exposes them to a different environment.

He was a scientist after all. A madman in which you deliberately fell in love with, so much to the point that he was able to feel pity for once. How you trusted him wholeheartedly with all of your vulnerabilities, emotions and secrets like handing him your parts just so he could put you back together again. Tinkering was always one of his favourite hobbies and he couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of pride at the thought of you being completely wrapped around his finger.

Perhaps that was the reason why he loved you. Because he didn't love you. He loved you in parts.

"It was only a matter of time," Hector sighs. He sneaks his grasp into yours, knowing how much it affects you and puts on an invisible mask of deciet, "I already knew this day would happen long before anyone could have predicted it."

"You did?" With worried eyes you gazed at him, "What shall we do then?"

Knowing he hit the target, his lips begin to curl up towards his ears, showing his sharp white teeth that shone against the dim-litted room. Hector asks, "Do you love me?"

A silly question. You didn't hesitate to answer, "Of course I do. I've said it many times."

"Prove it to me," Forcing his forehead against yours, Hector commands in a dangerously low tone, "Kill your brother and only then you can truly be mine."

Your brain sutters, trying to absorb what he had just said. Kill? As in to take a life? It sounded wrong. But...was it wrong if the life belonged to someone who ruined yours?

Dumbfoundedly, you glanced into the bloody orbs of your lover, his black pupils thinning into knives while burning in the hellfire of his true colours. Hector runs a hand from the scalp of your hair, down to your cheek before gingerly sliding his fingers at your jawline. He pulled you close and whispered into your ear.

"Are you scared?"

Ah, this wasn't about your feelings. This was about him and your future and there could be no future you without him by your side.

You let your eyelids drop and leaned into his touch, "I could never be scared of you Hector. Whether it is within my power or not, I will make sure no one gets in our way. I swear it."

"Good," he continues to have you feed on his affection, "I knew I could count on you."

-----------

The news of your brother's death filled every headline Fontain had to offer. He was driven off a cliff while making a trip towards Sumeru. No one survived. The remains were so crushed to the point that authorities had trouble identifying their bodies. The only explanation they could come up with by observing the leftover tracks was that the horse must have gone out of control and ended up dragging the carriage along with it.

Ha. Serves him right.

Food poisoning. The vial Hector made was very effective. You made sure to bury it away from your mansion.

With no other choice, you became your family's next heir. Hector notifies you that he would be away for several months to solidify a unique connection with a man hailing from Snezhnaya. You didn't think he would arrive at your doorsteps with so much authority. Fatui soldiers followed from behind as the staff paved a way for them to enter. Your father was clearly displeased by his outrageous approach but he knew he was in no place to deny.

"Upon the agreement between Fontaine and Snezhnaya, Lady (Y/n) will become Harbinger Il Dottore's wife," the Duke announces, "This news will be publicly announced at the end of October."

Dottore? Is that what he calls himself?

As if claiming his victory, Dottore shoots your father a devilish smile. You could feel the dining table shake when he kept pressing his fist against the smooth surface, begrudingly congratulating you both for the new engagement. Your mother bursted into tears.

Was it worth it?

You watched both of your parents mourn silently in their own manner. Perfectly knowing that you were the main cause. But you weren't able to feel any sadness because in the end, you now had everything you've ever wanted.

The inheritance.

Their attention.

But most of all, him.

And when you were convinced that this was your happily ever after, that fairytales were not just beautiful lies for the sake of comfort, you didn't realize you were already living a life made of beautiful lies conjured by your own mind for the sake of your own comfort.

"You're nothing without me."

Dried and calloused hands squeezed around your throat as you flailed your legs against the soft fabric of the carpet floor. He encases you in a straddling position, enjoying the sight of your tortured and clenched face. Hector…no, Dottore hated it when you disobeyed him. He despised it when his creations don't work the way he wanted them to and he had no use for things that are broken.

"G-hka--k..-"

"How many times do I have to remind you to not use my birthname. Do those ears of you even function properly? Or must I fix them myself?"

You gasped for air when he relaxed his grip. Vision a blur, you coughed a few times before he pulls your arm so that you lay flushed against his chest.

"Don't forget who saved you dear (Y/n). Because of me you were able to escape that miserable life you've despised for years. I expect the utmost gratitude on your part at all times, it is only fair that I punish you for not meeting my requirements, don't you agree?" Dottore lifts his hand up to pinch your cheeks, pulling your head to stare at your eyes, "After all, there is no one else in this world who can put up with you…but me."

His words were poison in which you drank like a woman starved. It made you feel numb to the pain the more you drowned in their alluring scent, the taste was sweet, a remedy for the bitterness of reality where the man of your dreams was nothing but a cruel monster. You came to believe that the reason why he treated you so harshly was because he was scared of losing you. You were caught in the trap of what seemed to be love and devotion when truly, you were just a toy to be used at a means end. He breaks you and he puts you back together, over and over again, filling in between the cracks formed in your glass heart with the phrases you loved to hear. Just like how he filled the other holes of your life where no one else did. You called it kindness. He saw it as entertainment.

Most people pay attention to the flower's beauty but they never acknowledge the thorns hidden beneath it's blossom. That is why they bleed. They get hurt. Though, you didn't mind shedding blood if it was for his sake.

Because you would do anything for him.

You would do anything to bring back the memories of Hector Dufour-Lapointé and save him from the Harbinger that ruined his life. Your life. It wasn't his fault. You knew you could change him to what he was before because you were in love with him, that he might still in there. Somewhere.

Right?

…

Please come back.

Time continues to flow like the tears of your dying heart despite yearning for it to turn at the past. Dottore already left the room a long time ago but you didn't. Raising your head away from your hands, you peered at the door in front of you, begging desperately through a chanting record of despondence.

Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back.

Images, they slipped through your fingers, slowly becoming more distant until your mind began to see them as illusions. Dreams. Things that were not real. Telling you that your life was a lie.

"Come back to me…Hector."

Because the man you loved was withering in your memories and you couldn't do anything to save him.

A dry croak robbed you of your breath as you turned to look in the mirror.

Worthless. You were always worthless, it was what your parents told you since birth. It was what you became when he wasn't at your side because without him, your existence was worthless. You lied for him, you stole for him you, took a life for him. You destroyed yourself for him to point that it was hard to believe you were even looking at yourself.

Worthless. It's who I am.

And despite it all, you couldn't obtain his love.

(Crack).

Worthless things don’t deserved to be loved.

(Crack. Crack).

But what if it’s because I’m worthless, that he won’t love me back?

(Crack).

Your eyes jolted open, causing you to gasp sharply. When the sweet lies dispersed in your head and cleansed you of deceit, everything started to make sene. You came to realize why your wish was impossible all along.

Dottore...no, Hector, the reason wasn't because he didn't return your feelings. Neither was it due to the fact that he hurt you through his actions. Nor when he made you cry or scream for help before feeding you with more lies, thinking he would never hurt you again. It was none of those things.

It was because the man you loved this whole time was someone who could love no one but himself.

"Ha...haha," sucking in your breath, a sinister laugh escapes your mouth, "Hahahahahahaha.....!"

Everything was worthless.

You grabbed a nearby hairbrush and threw it at the mirror, watching yourself shatter into a million pieces.

There was only one thing left to do.

------

"Ugh, where is it?!"

It was late into the night where every staff had gone to sleep. The Harbinger fumbles with his keys while standing at the door of his basement as he was too busy proceeding with his research rather than considering the thought of rest. Usually he acted upon them on his own will, performing various experiments for enjoyment. However, ever since the Snezhnayan court had requested him to look into the ancient arts of alchemy, Dottore was forced to carry it out before the deadline approached. Otherwise his position as Harbinger would be revoked.

"What a bunch of self-centered blockheads. Can't they understand that it take quality time to get quality results?"

Most of his important documents were stored on the otherside. Half of it came from his father-in-law's library. He had you to thank for that.

"Ah finally," he mutters, though still dissatisfied, "I should have a word with my butler for misplacing them."

Dottore shoves the key into the lock but instead of twisting the knob he noticed something strange. It was old and had yet to be fixed but somehow he didn't have any trouble adjusting his wrist. Then he saw there were a set of freshly made fingerprints upon the smooth metallic surface. However, the only person awake at this time would be him-

An intruder!

Dottore drops everything to the ground and yanks the door open. He skittered down the stone stairs while cursing under his breath. Using the delusion gifted by the Tsaritsa, the Harbinger activated his lazer-like pillars as he took advantage of their glow to light up the unlit room.

"What in the abyss...?!"

Except it wasn't dark.

"All of these scrolls, I recognize them," without sparing a single glance, you spoke nostalgically towards the bookshelves, "It brings me so much memories..."

Dottore clenches his teeth together as his eyes shone an angry red, you were holding a torch dangerously close to his hard-earned collection, "What do you think you're doing?!" He fumed, "Put that out, AT ONCE! Don't make me repeat myself!

"They're precious to you aren't they?" You finally shifted to face him, "More than me."

"What has gotten into you?" He was about to hurl at you until he saw your torch lowering, causing him to retreat. You were strangely noncholant and he couldn't help the feeling of disturbance. Accepting that he didn't have the upperhand, Dottore decided to use a different approach, "(Y/n)."

The sound of your name falls from his lips. You faltered.

"I'm sorry for what I have done. I know I was dishonourable to you, as your husband and lover, and that you didn't deserve to see me so aggressive. You have every right to express your anger, my dear. I was in the wrong."

It was only a mask. You knew it well. But seeing him with softened eyes and a tone so comforting, made you desperately wanting to run into his arms so he could wipe away your sorrows just like once upon a time. To live happily ever after.

Hector.

Dottore runs his fingers through his hairstrands in frustration and sighs, "However the Tsarista needed me to do something very important and I can't seem to fulfill her request no matter how hard I try. It angers me. If I don't finish this, there would be no place for us to stay."

"Hector..." you sniffled quietly. He looks so much like him right now.

"Can't you see I'm doing this for you?" He consoles, yet his weapons still remain, "I only intended to make you happy and there's nothing I won't do to achieve that. How about I show-"

"Enough."

Dottore froze upon your sudden command. He didn't sense a hint of subjugation and it seemed that you had perfect control of your emotions. How very inquisitive. Did you grow immune to the style of his voice? In such a short period of time? The facade he had on was now replaced with a growling animal-like expression. You looked at him dissapointedly. His Harbinger self returned. Hector was no more.

"Ha, you're the same as always. Even before the time you became a Harbinger. The same man that I fell in love with but it is me who will never be the same again," For a moment you averted your gaze as if trying hard to swallow your own words, "Remember when we first met at the balcony? That I told you my favourite books to read are fiction? I knew they weren't real but deep down, I wanted to believe in them anyways. And you know what? They did come true, to some degree..."

As the memories come flashing back, he defenselessly watches your expression contort from sadness to a calm contemplation and finally, enraged disgust, "But you only ever brought me pain and I'm sick of it!"

Swaying the torch to the side, Dottore flinches forward but he didn't dare to come close when your current state was unpredictable to him, "I JUST WANTED YOU TO LOVE ME," you wail, I just wanted to be loved, bringing a clawed hand against your forehead and trembling upon contact, "It's all that I ask for..."

Dottore narrowed his brows. Perhaps he may have gotten too far.

"But I know it's impossible. The world is a cruel place and there's no point in trying anymore. That is why I'm going to set us free."

"...What do you mean?"

You shut your eyes closed and tossed the flaming torch to the ground. A horrified expression takes over his features. It didn't take long for the fire to begin spreading amongst the room.

"NO!" Dottore yelled powerfully, he frantically darts his gaze at all directions as they continued to flicker and blend into his precious documents. You stood still and watched him grab the ones that were intact, savouring the most he could but they slip out of his arms every time he moved. Dottore glances behind him to see a rising cage of hellfire. Then he turns to you.

" 'Til death do us part!" you laughed maniacally.

The madman looked back with angry dismay, "You're out of your mind!"

Abandoning whatever he held in his hand, Dottore spins around towards the staircase. He covers his face with his sleeve and did whatever he could to prevent the fire from touching him. However, he accidentally stumbled on his footsteps and something fell off the heights, knocking him in the face. He grunts painfully.

"That will leave a scar," you smile while he clutches at his injury, "I can break you too.”

Just like how you broke me.

Knowing that you've managed to leave a mark of your existence on him in someway, you peacefully watched your lover wobble between the hell you created. But the hell you knew was not made of scorching heat and thundering flames. Hell was empty. Hell was a void. This feeling was far too gentle to be considered hell. If he can't return your love, then at least let these caging arms bask you in the warmth you’ve always desired.

Lifting your head, you looked towards the ceiling and closed your eyes.

Ah, this cannot be death.

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elysianslove · 3 years

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in between you; gojō satoru, kuroo tetsurō

requested by anon; ❝ initially i was thinking that the reader is w satoru and they’re out together on a mission or vacation? they tryna have some fun together, and even possibly include a third party just this one time cause they’re feeling esp freaky, adventurous, but still wanna keep this experience private~~👁 👄 👁 they see tetsu (aged up plss! i mean technically he already is now, right? o:) & have this instinctive feeling that he’s the perfect choice for whatever reason hahaha 😂 but honestly tho, take it as you want it! i would just be ecstatic to see these two in one story for the first time<3 ❞

pairings; gojō satoru x reader x kuroo tetsurō

genre; smut

warnings; threesome, double penetration (vaginal and anal), oral (fem!receiving) under the cut

note; this took me over 5 hours, and i haven’t entirely proofread this 3.5k+ worth of filth so i’m sorry for any mistakes! i hope everyone enjoys <3

━ the air in brazil is considerably more humid than tokyo, and it’s evident in the way your clothes stick to your skin, despite the general lack thereof. still, you don’t falter for a moment as you walk through the crowd, fingers linked with your lover’s as you lead the way. you’re not entirely sure where you’re headed, or what your exact destination is, but instead of filling you with nerves, it lights your nerves with excitement. it could be the humid, or the alcohol you’d downed not too long ago, or simply the unfamiliarity of the area and language, but time seems to move slow, you with it. the people around you are a blur of tan skin and colorful clothing and bright, ecstatic smiles, and it feels like the only two people that exist in this very moment are you, and your lover.

and him.

you’re breathless for a reason you’re unable to pinpoint at when you pull satoru aside, fisting at the shirt he dons, pushing your body flush against his. you lift yourself up slightly, the height difference between the two of you significant, before you murmur, “i want him.”

it’s not an off-putting statement to hear from you, at least not after your discussion prior a few weeks ago. after agreeing that inviting a third person into your bedroom, even if just for one night, would be an interesting addition, the conversation had faded away, and your private life was left in fate’s hands. it had only been when your lover had surprised you with a plane ticket and a long since needed vacation had the conversation arisen again, and ever since two nights ago, you’d wandered the streets in search of the perfect candidate.

“hm,” satoru hums amusingly, a teasing smile on his lips as he thumbs at your jaw gently. he looks over the man twice. he’s tall, possibly as tall as satoru, with dark hair a complete contrast to satoru’s own white wisps of strands. he wears simple clothing, yet it remains as fashionable as ever with the stance he takes, the smirk he wears on his lips, the confident aura that surrounds him as he thanks a vendor for a shot, downing it straight. he’s the exact image of a man he’d assumed you’d choose. “you sure, doll?”

you nod firmly, your gaze fixated on the dark haired man. satoru’s eyes have returned to you; he’s not sure why you’re as certain as you are, but he’s never been one capable of ever saying no to you, so he turns you around, arm thrown over your shoulders, and walks the two of you towards the man.

it’s almost as if he had been expecting you. empty shot glass disregarded, he lifts a hand to run his fingers through his hair, shaking them out, inviting smile never faltering. subconsciously, satoru’s arm slips off your shoulders, hand falling to grasp at your waist as you almost tip over, clumsy and heavy with desire, nearly falling into the man’s arms. small fingers grip at his shirt lightly, teasingly, and with wide, pleading eyes, you say, “come home with us tonight.”

one of the man’s large hands crawl up to rest above your palm, and he meets satoru’s eyes from behind you. they seem to speak to one another through simple, barely noticeable expressions, their eyes talking up a novel. until the dark haired man tightens his hand around yours while lifting the other to cup gently at your chin, before he leans down closer to you, whispering, “call me tetsurō, pretty girl.”

you kiss him before satoru manages to shut the hotel door behind you. permission and consent fully granted from your lover, you pull yourself closer to the man, hands gripping helplessly at the collar of his shirt, pressing your lips harder against his. daringly, your mouth falls open, tongue easily slipping out and into his own mouth, twisting your tongue with his. you continue to kiss him open mouthed, your hands snaking up roughly from his collar, up to the nape of his neck, to his roughed up hair. naturally, it had seemed tousled, and you can’t help but picture the way it would be when you finally get to play with him.

from behind you, satoru’s arms wrap around your middle, hands groping at whatever skin is revealed from your clothing, sinking beneath your shirt. his hot mouth is upon your neck immediately, his teeth biting and his tongue licking and his mouth sucking as he paints a pretty bruise on your skin. he can feel your pulse burn alive beneath his abusing mouth, but it only encourages him, his hands traveling higher to grope at your breasts.

the slowness of the pace infuriates you, and you whimper against testurō’s mouth, pulling back breathlessly to lean into your lover’s arms. you lift one arm to run it through his hair, tugging lightly just the way you’ve learnt he likes it as he continues to taint your skin, while you drag your other free hand down tetsurō’s chest, thumbing at the buttons of his shirt impatiently.

lips leave your neck suddenly, satoru’s hands tightening around your breasts as he encourages directly by your ear, “use your big girl words, doll.” tetsurō watches with amusement as you shiver at his words, his fingers already working at unbuttoning his shirt.

with a hitch in your breath, you reply, “i want to fuck you both, please— please want to be stuffed full, please!”

at your words, tetsurō’s eyes widen slightly, an eyebrow raised in cheerful shock. “you’re gonna be a fun one, aren’t you?” he wonders out loud, finally freeing himself of his shirt, grabbing at it and pulling it off his shoulders. the movement of his arms flexes his muscles even more, and you’re sure he’s showing off properly, but you decide you can’t entirely blame him, not with the body he hides beneath. he’s toned, muscular and big and strong and so perfect.

it’s a blur as the three of you rush to rid yourself of your clothes, tetsurō being the first to finish, quick to sprawl on the king bed in the middle of the room. his cock stands shamelessly hard against his stomach as he leans up on his elbows, watching as satoru easily lifts you on his shoulders, his own cock twitching as you squeal loudly, before he tosses you on the bed.

“mmm,” tetsurō approvingly hums, “pretty tits. bet your pussy’s pretty too.” he’s leaning on one elbow now, hovering by your side as his fingers ghost over your chest and between your breasts, dancing around your nipples teasingly, leaving an array of goosebumps in their wake.

satoru’s hands are on your thighs, slowing spreading them open, crawling lower till his face hovers by your cunt. your chest is heaving with anticipation as you stare at him between your legs, as he leans his face forward slightly to lick a stripe at your folds, up to your clit, before he latches his mouth around it. his head tilts as he sucks harder, reveling in the way your hands scramble to cover your face in embarrassment, breathless, desperate cries leaving your lips repeatedly. tetsurō’s mouth occupies itself with one of your nipples, his technique eerily similar to the way satoru sucks and licks at your clit.

“come on, doll,” satoru urges between licking and sucking at your folds. “let him see you. you know you have the most gorgeous face when you cum.”

to reinforce his statement, pulls your clit between his teeth, rolling it softly. your back arches, pushing your hips harsher against his mouth, your eyes completely shut even as your hands fly to his hair. tetsurō’s fingers graze your lower abdomen, but you barely have half a mind to register this with your breasts bruised and your nipples sore and aching, that when his fingers dip past satoru’s mouth on your clit to find your entrance, you let out a choked scream, fingers tightening impossibly in satoru’s hair.

“you gonna show me how pretty you look cumming?” tetsurō praises, his other hand twisting in your hair and pulling slightly, urging you to open your eyes. they snap open, meeting his momentarily, before they fall onto satoru’s hungry ones. fuck, the feel of them both, the sight of them both, it’s dizzyingly overwhelming, that your high hits you within seconds, beginning at your core before traveling all across your body, leaving you a trembling and sobbing mess as your eyes roll back. “yeah, that’s it,” tetsurō encourages as satoru moans around your clit, both his mouth and tetsurō’s fingers milking you of everything that you have to offer. “cum all my fingers and your boyfriend’s mouth. such a good girl, making a mess of us.”

mercifully, at the feel of your attempt to shut your legs, satoru lifts himself up from between your legs, grinning up at you the way he always does, his lips a complete mess. and just like always, you reach over to cup his face, pulling him in for a kiss. against your lips, muffled slightly by the way you greedily kiss at him, he says, “tasted so good, baby.” you kiss him harder, losing yourself within the familiar taste and feel of him, your hand mindlessly reaching out for tetsurō, resting upon the nape of his neck and pulling him towards you. you unlatch your mouth from satoru’s, urging tetsurō closer until his lips are on yours.

from the position you lay in, you can barely feel the graze of satoru’s cock against your sensitive clit, the tip nudging the bundle of nerves unintentionally. it reminds you of what you really want, what you truly desire, forcing you to pull back, either hand resting on either man’s cheek, eyes honest as you look between them and say, “can i please have your cocks now?”

in true fashion of your lover, he laughs lightly, leaning down to press a kiss to your jaw. “since you asked so nicely,” he replies.

“how do you want us, beautiful?” tetsurō asks, both him and satoru allowing you space to sit up.

“however way you want me,” you tell him, and unable to hide it, he visibly sucks in a sharp breath at your words.

satoru hums amusingly at his reaction, hand resting on tetsurō’s shoulder and pushing him back onto the bed, before he turns to you, leaning his body closer to you. one arm encloses you within him, his other hand cupping at your jaw, thumb at your lips. “i want you to ride him. will you do that for me, baby?” he asks, but the way the question is stated has tetsurō guessing the older man had already known the answer prior, and his theory’s proven when you nod eagerly, no second thoughts given. his cock hardens impossibly at the sight of you almost cowering in front of satoru, staring up at him with faux innocence and unbelievable desire. “can i fuck your ass too, pretty girl?” satoru continues, smiling proudly when you nod again.

with just as much enthusiasm, you crawl over to tetsurō, lifting one leg to straddle him properly. at the sight of your glistening thighs and drenched cunt spread above him, tetsurō curses lowly, hand flying to fist at his cock slowly, twisting his wrist at the head, smearing his precum all over. after a few seconds of fumbling from his left, a condom lands on his chest, and a bottle of lube falls to his side on the mattress beneath him.

as he picks up the plastic, eyeing the lube, he quirks an eyebrow at the couple before him, smirking with the package between his teeth, ripping it apart. when he tosses the plastic wrapping away, he wonders with a teasing voice, “you two planned this?”

satoru’s eyes lock with his, with his lips on your throat again, kissing along the bruises he’d painted upon your skin. “you planning on fucking her before she regrets her decision?” satoru taunts, hands returning to twist at your aching nipples while tetsurō rolls the condom onto his cock.

“so impatient,” tetsurō tuts, smearing some lube on his cock as his hand reaches out for your thigh, resting there while you lean up on your knees.

he lines himself up at your entrance, tip teasing between your folds momentarily, before he hears you let out a pained sigh, a whiny, dragged out, “tetsu.” his fist tightens at the base of his cock and he steadies it, watching with mesmerization as you sink slowly onto it, his cock disappearing into you inch by inch, your cunt stretching to accommodate him. tetsurō knows he’s big, and has multiple partners in which they’ve done nothing but stroke at his ego with the way they struggle to take him all in. but despite the way your hips stutter ever so slightly, the way your body’s impossibly tense, the way your cunt is spasming around him, the way your eyes screw shut, even as satoru’s guiding hands remain on your waist — you don’t falter. you continue to take him in, easing him into you, your cunt sucking him in until he’s completely bottomed out, until you sit all pretty and perfect on his lap, stretched out and full of his cock.

“good girl,” satoru praises from behind you, and tetsurō’s thankful he’s said it, because the way you’re feeling around him, he doubts he can conjure up proper words. “such a good girl. took him so well, baby, m’so proud of you.”

you whine, tossing your head back on your lover’s shoulder, hands grabbing at his large ones at your waist. tetsurō’s hands are still on your thighs, squeezing and caressing the flesh soothingly and encouragingly. he wants to praise you, but satoru’s said it all.

“ready for me?” satoru asks, smiling proudly when you nod and your head falls forward, your body slowly with it. you lean down, curling in on tetsurō, and he gratefully accepts you in his arms.

you rest your head on his chest, his cock shifting slightly inside of you at your movement, while his arms move to wrap around you, watching over your shoulders as satoru’s fingers, wet and glossy with lube, meet your other hole. he feels you flinch, tightening and clenching around his cock instinctively, and he’s quick to shush you as he sees satoru’s finger slowly sink in. “you wanna be good for him too, don’t you?” tetsurō gently coerces, cooing as you nod in his hold, mumbling incoherently.

as tetsurō’s cock twitches desperately inside of you, satoru continues to finger your ass, adding a second finger, then a third, once he feels content enough to. with your ass gradually stretching around satoru’s fingers, tetsurō, mindlessly, begins to roll his hips, shallowly thrusting into you. the languid pleasure of satoru’s fingers and tetsurō’s teasing strokes have your hands tightening into fists, your lower lip tucked between your teeth as you swallow your moans. you don’t speak up when you feel ready enough for satoru’s cock, knowing that he knows you even better than you do yourself, aware that he’s capable of understanding your body and its reactions better, completely giving into him, until finally, his fingers slip out of you with a loud squelch, the tip of his cock replacing them before you could mourn the loss.

slowly, his cock wet and cold from the lube he’d poured, he eases himself inside of you, a guttural groan slipping out from his lips as your ass clenches around him. he hisses at the sensation, hand resting on your lower back kindly. “relax, doll,” he soothes you.

tetsurō’s own large hands move to grip your ass, spreading it more for satoru, and using it as leverage to start thrusting up properly into you. you lift yourself slightly, moving your hands to rest by tetsurō’s head as satoru bottoms out inside of you, your body shifting slightly along tetsurō’s as he fucks up into you. at the feel of both cocks stuffing you, you cry out, your stomach feeling heavy with the overwhelming pleasure, your mouth falling to hang open in an endless, helpless sob as they both start to fuck you at a desperate pace.

“fuck, fuck,” tetsurō chants from beneath you, panting with every slap of skin against skin. “fuck, you feel amazing. can feel your cunt gushing ‘round me, shit.” with every push of satoru’s thrusts, your hard nipples drag along tetsurō’s chest, heightening your sensitivity. you choke at his words, hands fisting at the sheets by his head.

tetsurō’s thrusts are precise, harsh and diligent, fucking into you with fervor and want, sharply and shallowly. you never are properly rid of his cock from inside of you, each drag more earth shattering than the last. satoru’s thrusts, although they match tetsurō’s pace almost eerily, are teasing and taunting, feeding into your desire for him, forcing you to become more and more desperate, forcing you to rock back your hips searching for more.

“wanna cum, wanna cum, wanna cum,” you beg, arms weakening, your head falling into the crook of tetsurō’s neck as you let them use your body. “please, wanna cum,” you wail against his skin, pleading at either one of them. satoru’s hands grip at your hips, grip bruising, careful blue eyes watching as you tilt your head on tetsurō’s chest, body rocking in time with each of their movements as you say, “please, satoru. please, baby.”

his breath stops at his throat, and he snaps your hips flush against his shockingly hard, looking over at tetsurō momentarily. then, simultaneously, voices scarily similar and deep, they instruct, “cum for us, pretty thing.”

and obey you do.

your body convulses impossibly, your screams scratching at your throat, echoing around the hotel room. your holes clench around their cocks, immediately sending them over the edge as your insides spasm uncontrollably, milking them of their cum. with a low shout, and a ‘fuck,’ tetsurō spills into the condom, while satoru fills you up, and you’re left a sticky mess.

and just as you feel satoru’s fluttering touch to your lower back, the world dims around you, and you succumb to it gratefully.

when you awaken next, you’re both clean and dry, dressed in a loose shirt that’s easily identifiable as satoru’s. with the deep ache that’s settled in your bones and muscles, and the tiredness that’s completely overtaken you, you make no move to leave the comfort of the warm bed. your eyes are shutting steadily, your body sinking deeper into the mattress, before you feel a presence before you by the edge of the bed, before you hear said presence kneel by you, reach out to brush away at your hair, before poking at your nose jokingly. you scrunch it up, eyes falling open once more. at the sight of your grinning partner, you can’t help but smile back, fists tightening in the blanket that surrounds you.

satoru looks up momentarily, nodding at a figure by his side and confirming, “yeah, she’s awake.”

not wanting to be completely clueless, you urge yourself to move, sitting up on the bed and stretching your arms up as you finally identify the figure that had been standing by satoru’s side, and you’re immediately taken back by hours — hours? — earlier, and the position you’d been in with him. “oh, hey,” you say a little awkwardly.

tetsurō laughs lightly, hands settled into the pockets of his trousers. “oh hey,” he mimics you jokingly. “i wanted to wait to leave after i said goodbye. and thank you for the great night.”

you scoff teasingly, replying, “or you just wanted free hotel food.”

he shrugs. “not denying nor affirming,” he says, and you chuckle, shuffling along the bed to allow space for satoru to sit by you. “but thank you; it really was great.”

satoru leans by you, hand resting behind you, shoulder brushing against yours. “no worries,” he says brightly, adding, “take care, yeah?”

tetsurō only nods with a smile, waving at you, before he walks himself to the door, leaving you finally alone with your lover. satoru leans into you, resting his chin on your shoulder, tilting his head slightly to glance at you. you lift up a hand in response, slightly ruffling his hair, and whispering a low, “thank you,” before placing a soft kiss to his forehead.

he breathes out softly, smiling a little tiredly at you. “always love making you happy,” he reassures, leaning more into you to kiss your cheek. despite the low grumbling of your stomach— no doubt had you worked up an appetite— you let him push you back, let him wrap his arms around you, let him nuzzle into you. and despite how you’d just been with another man, as you fall back into a deep sleep, the only one that graces your dreams is satoru gojō.

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thanks-mike-stamford · 3 years

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Fics that inspire my writing - Part III

This is Part III (the last). Click for Part I or Part II.

So... hahaha I forgot to post the last part. Also: when I was finishing the last paragraph my browser refreshed tumblr and deleted almost the whole post, so this is a rewrite *deaded*.

I also kept changing the shortlist. Choosing just 10 fics was painful, there are just so many great works out there.

Reminder, this is a fic about writing, not necessarily favourites. This is explained better in Part I.

Here we go.

Part III

Collared by VelvetMace

Let's not talk about how Chameleon was never finished when it was right on the story climax and never brought from live-journal to AO3 like this author's other fics. In some ways I feel like Collared is Chameleon's kid, getting all the ambiguous feelings it's supposed to create on the reader, but making it better.

While both fics are supposed to make the reader uncomfortable, Collared made it better by removing a clear villain. Mycroft and Sherlock are still pretty on the fence, you can't quite place if they are supposed to be good or not. But the absence of someone clearly bad to contrast with them is genius. This fic makes me think a lot about morals in stories. While moral lessons seem a good idea for educational purposes, it's also a tiny bit patronising. They are for children's stories. This is not a story for kids at all. Mind me, there's definitely an entity of evil, namely the institutions that maintain slavery. But this is an abstract thing that you can't quite touch. There's no way to single out someone responsible for it. This means that both sides have ways to deal with it that will spillover to people that have nothing to do with it. There's also the factor of the romantic tension happening between John and Sherlock, that makes you oh so conflicted. It's not supposed to be right. It's probably not a relationship you'd approve in real life. And yet you want it to happen. It makes you be critical of some of John's decisions against better judgement. Suddenly you realise you're not thinking about the morality of the situation at all.

For appreciation of fiction in its pure form - removes your obligation of trying to be good and makes you just enjoy whatever is happening, this is the fic to go. I really want to work with something on this area in the future.

Among the Secret Things by Kate_Lear

You all must know that this fic is actually inspired by Lacuna by coloredink. It's actually the same story, except that the original one is told from John's POV and this one is Sherlock's POV. In the story, John loses all his memory from after he's deployed, including Sherlock.

I actually went with this one instead of the original exactly because of the change in POV, which is my main point here. In some stories the change in POV honestly doesn't matter, as the events are experienced in the same way. In those stories the only difference is the inner monologue. But not this one. Here the change of narrator perspective is essential. In the original one there's a plot twist that can only happen in John's POV, it wouldn't work otherwise, so I understand why the author went with that. But for me, the emotional impact is always what grabs me in a story, more than plot intricacies, even if they are satisfying and clever. And for the emotional impact to happen, we needed Sherlock to be the narrator. Mind me, of course John is going through a difficult time, but thanks to amnesia, he doesn't really know why. If he had chosen to move out and restart his life somewhere else along with his new memories, it wouldn't have made a difference. But Sherlock remembers what he lost, even with John still living with him, he's the one who hurts about their past, which they can't recover. We know what's going to happen in this fic, of course, because we read the original one, but that's not the point. Since we have Sherlock's POV, the same story becomes a different experience, this time more from the emotional side. It's genius.

This fic has taught me about the importance of choosing well your POV. If you want a specific type of impact, you need to know who in the story can deliver that.

Comorbidity by merripestin

It's funny, and it happens a lot to me, when you realise that you think you don't know an author and then you check your bookmarks and there are several fics from them. When I was shortlisting for this post, I noticed that there were two fics from this author. I ended up choosing this one (the other was Safe Distance by the way).

The two fics are not very similar, except for the fact that John indulges Sherlock just to keep him happy. Comorbidity is not so much about a kink considered deviant even by the kinky person themselves, but about the feelings of everyone involved. I feel like this fic specifically embodies everything I talked about in this series of posts. It uses sort of a dark theme, conflicted feelings from both the characters and the readers, plays with the morality of the situation, changes POV when it's important for the flow, uses non-linear narrative in a very clever way, it even shows character development and it's a short story. Some would say it's fucked up, but I feel like despite everything it proposes, it's so tender. A study in contradictions. The deviant kink is treated with respect, with conflicting views. There's no judgement, it's just "ok let's try to understand this". There's no characters compromising to each other or negotiation, instead we have "I want to do this for you even if I don't entirely approve of it myself". Nobody asks for anything, but they are given anyway. A fic about a kink but not in a sexual way, even if there's a lot of sex. During sex scenes the focus is mainly on their emotions and perceptions about each other than the acts themselves. It's a short story, but it has all the complexity that some novel-length works lack.

And because of this, it's the one that closes this series of posts. I wish I could write something like this.

If you missed the previous posts, just click: Part I or Part II.

#johnlock #sherlock fanfic #hoverseas talks about fic

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painting-wings · 3 years

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Secret garden | ASTRO |

Description: You knew about a secret garden that had the most beautiful flowers and the rarest of flowers but there was something interesting with the people who looked after them.

Warnings: None

Astro x fem reader

M.list

A/N: *fun fact this story has been sitting in my drafts* but Here it is a short drabble of the events inspired by the song and video ( all night ) enjoy!

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Everyday on your walk to work you always pass this greenhouse, it’s big and grand. Inside is always filled with healthy plants that hug the glass windows, attached is a small house which is consumed in vines and ivy. It looks aesthetically pleasing, but today you wanted to know what was inside.

Walking past the stone wall that guarded the greenhouse, you notice the tall iron gate wide open. A stone path that seemed very inviting almost like the yellow brick road, looking around and peering into the garden you notice that there is no one around, just as you're about to leave and carry on your day a small whisper of your name catches your attention.

“Hello?” you say as you take a small step into the garden, walking over the threshold you feel a soft wind swirl around you intoxicating you with a sweet smell of flowers. Gently pushing open one of the glass doors of the green house you are amazed at how beautiful this place was.

Hand carved stone path that had swirls of patterns made by different colour stones, hues of green from the shrubbery as well as splashes of pink, red and purple, walking around this wonderland of perfect plants there is a fountain in the middle, the bottom is a pond while the other tiers of the fountain are consumed by lavender and soft pink carnation flowers.

Captured in its beauty you knew this was trespassing on someone's land as well as home, looking around one last time you hear some soft talking as well as clinking of glassware. Timidly you go in further to investigate, peering over one of the large bushes of a flower you never seen before, there was a boy wearing a white flowy shirt and beige pants his dark hair contrasting with the vibrant colours around him as he looks at some light purple substance in a test tube. As well as other glassware with more unusual substances in them.

To be oblivious you did not feel the new body that was standing next to you. “Can I help you miss?” a soft voice spoke, making you gasp and jump back nearly falling into a bush.

“I - I am so sorry” you speak as you try to compose yourself.

“Sorry for what?” he speaks again but this time it’s not the flowers that are holding the beauty, another dark haired boy, wearing a pastel rose shirt, matching pants. His features look like they were blessed from heaven.

“I’m trespassing...I’m sorry, I walk past here everyday and your flowers always look so beautiful anyway I should really go” in a flustered state you go to walk past him but he gently grabs your wrist.

“Miss please stay, no one said you were trespassing and if you like the garden so much feel free to look around i’m sure the other boys won’t mind” he spoke giving you a smile that melted your heart.

“Other boys?” you mumble, as this mysterious guy leads you up some stone steps into another part of the green house, this time it looks more like a conservatory.

Inside the flowers and plants still follow as the floral pattern on the furniture matches the plants consuming the walls. “I didn’t get your name?” he asks you.

“Y/n my name is Y/n and yours?” you ask him as he takes your hand gently kissing the back of your hand.

“Cha Eunwoo nice to meet you Y/n. would you like to meet the other boys?” Eunwoo asks as your face is probably as read as the rose bush next to you, giving him a slow nod.

Turning the corner you see a boy similar to Eunwoo but he has pink hair, wearing the same colour clothing. He looks peaceful with his eyes closed, that is until you approach his eyes gently open to reveal bright blue eyes.

“Cha Eunwoo who’s your friend” he speaks giving you slight shivers as his cat shaped eyes look fondly at you.

“This is y/n and she was admiring the garden we have” Eunwoo spoke “Y/n meet Moonbin” you give him a small wave as he lounged on the floral sofa they have giving you a smirk.

You felt Eunwoo gently grab your elbow as he led out of back into the main garden area, taking in more of the unusual plant life, the soft lighting made everything look like a dream from Eunwoo pastel coloured shirt that flowed as he walked, and also his dreamy looks.

Eunwoo took you to another part of the greenhouse tucked into the corner was iron railings that went up and over into a curve creating a cosy hiding place filled to the brim of a rose wall, in the middle was a table with beautifully designed glassware. But sitting at the table was another boy, he looked younger, he had a cuteness to him. Watching him intently he held something in his hands, to your curiosity yourself and Eunwoo walked in.

“Sanha, this is Y/n she came to admire our beautiful garden” Eunwoo spoke as Sanha placed a goldfish into a cup of water, you wanted to question his choice but decided not to, Sanha looked up at you and smiled.

“Hai! I’m Sanha, thank you for liking our garden” his smile is bright as you smile back. Before you get a chance to ask him anything you hear someone coming up behind you and Eunwoo.

“Eunwoo, Sanha and friend I’m Mj nice to meet you” Mj says brightly as his smile has an effect on you, making you feel warm and happy inside. Enwoo gives a small wave, “what are you doing Mj?” Eunwoo asks Mj as he holds up the basket filled with lemons.

“I was going to make some fresh lemonade, have you seen Rocky yet I need to ask him a few things.”

Eunwoo plucked a pink flower from one of the bushes nearby as he twisted it between his fingers, giving a sigh “No I haven’t seen him but I assume he is with Jinjin.” You looked at his side profile and was still in awe by his features, you still believed that this was a dream, how have you walked into this mystical place with the most handsomest people, it was definitely a fairytale dream.

“Y/n I think you meet the other two” Eunwoo speaks softly, again gently grabbing your elbow “I think I saw one of the others, he had dark hair and was doing some chemistry?” You question as Eunwoo gives a small smile, “Ah yes that would be Rocky he is our Botanist” you must’ve given Eunwoo a puzzled look as he let out a small breathy laugh, “Botanist is someone who studies plants and experiments with them, Come I will show you” being led off to the other side of the green house near to where you first saw Rocky, hearing the clinking of glassware, the small sound of something bubbling over and the delicate smell of flowers hung in the air.

You had a sense of déjà vu when you saw Rocky again but now you knew his name, you stood behind Eunwoo timidly peeking from behind him, Rocky looked so intently on the glass beaker that had purple liquid in it, swirling it around, “Rocky, are you busy?” Eunwoo spoke as Rocky glanced over, slowly placing down the beaker, his face held little emotion, his eyes flickered over to you, studying you as you slowly slipped out from behind Eunwoo’s shadow.

“No I’m not busy” his voice was calm, “who is the guest?” he questioned; Eunwoo placed a hand on your shoulder pushing you forward “Rocky meet Y/n” you gave a small wave feeling somewhat of an intimidation from Rocky as he gave a small nod of the head. “Not much of a talker” you mumbled. “I’d rather observe” he replied, you clenched your jaw, casting your eyes away from his not wanting to feel intimidated.

The room was silent for a moment as a new voice came out of nowhere, “I wouldn’t take it too personally Rocky isn’t much of a talker” the voice was slow, you spun around to see a guy with pink hair sitting up in a tree, reading a book. “You must be Jinjin'' you blurted as he gave a smile “how do you know?” he asked again with a smirk growing on his face, “I just guessed and you're the last one I haven’t met yet” you replied seeing Jinjin’s eyes light up, jumping down from the tree you noticed that he was slightly shorter than his other friends. “Well now that you have why don’t you stay for dinner?” Jinjin proposed kindly taking your hand, you glanced down at your now entwined hands and you felt a blush slowly pink your cheeks.

“I, well I should really be going I was only stopping by-” “it's already noon” Eunwoo spoke over you as your eyes widened, looking down at the watch on your wrist it read 2:30pm, realisation started to catch up with you as it was only morning when you first wondered in and you was only having a quick glance, with all these thoughts building, you became overwhelmed and then

You blacked out.

Your eyes slowly opened, everything was bright, when they adjusted you was in a white room with vines climbing the walls as they were decorated with pink flowers of various shades, you was laying on a big bed, lifting your head up looking around the minimal room, your eyes landed on a figure sitting in a bathtub in the corner of the room. Confused was an understatement, sitting up in the bed you soon realised that it was Moonbin sitting in the bathtub, you watched him slip under the water. Panic set in as you jumped out of the bed and over to the tub to see him under and the water filled with flower petals, just as you went to grab him his eyes opened and he broke the surface.

“Moonbin!” you panicked, held his head down low watching the water roll off his body “you never seen someone take a bath before?” he questioned, glancing up at you with his cat eyes, “you take baths in your clothes” you deadpanned watching him break out into a laugh. “Hahaha...no maybe I should take my shirt off,” he began to unbutton his shirt, squirming as you placed your hands over your eyes, “NO! No no keep the shirt on I will find you a new one- a dry one!” running out of the room and down the corridor you soon noticed that you don’t know where you are going and that the walls were glass with unusual flowers behind them.

“Oh Y/n your up” a voice behind you as you whipped around and saw it was Mj “oh MJ hi..i’m a little lost” you spoke as Mj broke out his beaming smile, “no worries Y/n I will help, did Moonbin wake you?” he asked “Erm..yea but does he normally take baths in this clothes?” you questioned. Mj shook his head and sighed “I need to remind him to stop doing that, the others are in the downstairs if you wanted to be with them” you nodded as then being escorted towards the room where the rest of them were. Coming down a spiraling staircase, into a grand foyer with a large chandelier hanging in the centre of the dome ceiling, that was framed by four pillars. Going through a large grey door you see the rest of the boys lounging on sofas, the first to your surprise was Rocky who spoke first.

“Y/n how are you?” as he flashed a smile, that made you melt on the inside, trying to form words you stood there looking like a fish with your bobbing mouth, Sanha giggled “looks like she fell under the rocky swag spell” Eunwoo playfully punched Sanha in the arm making him squeak.

“I’m fine thank you Rocky” you replied as his smile grew and he nodded, satisfied with your answer.

“Y/n we hope you’re feeling better, we’d hate for you to be ill” Eunwoo spoke as he gestured to the seat beside him. “I’m fine, really I think it’s because I forgot to eat” you explained as you now took a seat. It was comfortable sitting with them as the silence was soon broken by Mj and Moonbin entering, your eyes widened as Moonbin came in shirtless, you squeaked as Eunwoo placed his hand over your eyes. “Moonbin not in front of the guest.”

Moonbin smirked as Mj handed him a shirt to slip on, conveniently he decided not to button it, as he sat across from you, Eunwoo removed his hand when he thought was clear, as you looked over to Moonbin, who bit his bottom lip and raised an eyebrow at you, looking like a gaping fish again, you just wanted the sofa to eat you up so he couldn’t see your blush.

“Y/n what was the real reason for you coming here today?” Jinjin spoke as you looked over to him sitting in a singular arm chair, you’d admit he looked like a king the way he held himself in the chair, not like the chill laid back guy from when you first met.

“Well I always walk past on my way to work and I see the beautiful flowers and it smells amazing and well...curiosity got the better of me” you shrugged as the boys all agreed,

“Well Y/n you're more than welcome to come back anytime” Mj said as he gave you another infectious smile. “Oh thank you guys it really means a lot, erm if you excuse me I must really get home” you said as you prepared to leave, Eunwoo got up to escort you out.

Walking back through the greenhouse it looked a lot different at night than it did in the day, now it was filled with fairy lights, the soft glow made it feel cosy, turning around to say goodbye to Eunwoo you noticed that all of them are there, you smiled “thank you guys for a lovely day and again the garden is beautiful.”

“Our pleasure Y/n” Jinjin said giving you a small smile and wave, you opened the gate to go taking one last glance behind you, they all waved and smiled.

And that you left the garden, Eunwoo looked up into the star filled sky, sighing,

“Such a goodnight.”

#astro imagines #astro kpop #astro mj #astro rocky #astro eunwoo #cha eunwoo #astro jinjin #astro sanha #astro moonbin #astro x reader #astro y/n #y/n fanfic #astro fanfic

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argylemnwrites · 3 years

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First Noel

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment universe, set around Chapter 21 of that story)

Word Count: ~1800

Rating: R (language, as always)

Summary: As their first Christmas together approaches, Drake and Riley find yet another element of their backgrounds they share.

Author’s Note: Not me posting a Christmas fic after the holiday, hahaha. The truth is that I am trying to get back into the swing of writing, and since I have painfully neglected Why Are We Still Waiting? I wanted to write something in that universe (I haven’t forgotten about that sequel, I swear... if anyone else still cares about that fic, hahaha). The whole discussion of “Walker Christmas” is something that actually really resonated with me during The Royal Holiday. As someone who has needed to work many Christmases, my family would often pick a different day to celebrate to accommodate my schedule, so the Walkers celebrating after the official holiday really rang true to me. So, in the ICWAM universe, this is how Riley leans about that tradition (and posting it after the holiday was totally on purpose *cough cough*)

Riley knew she’d fucked up. There was no point pretending that she hadn’t. The bad part was that she couldn’t really fix it. She was stuck. She was going to have to tell Drake, and she was absolutely dreading it.

Since he’d come back from Cordonia, things had been good between them. Really good, actually. They really hadn’t had any fights or spats or disagreements even. They had both been trying to be open and supportive and it was working. But now, that was all going to change and it was all her fault.

She’d reflexively agreed to work Christmas without really thinking about it. When Cam had asked for volunteers, she’d thrown her name out there instantly. It had always been her habit, having never had anyone to celebrate with and knowing that the odds of getting generous tippers on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were way higher than your average night. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she hadn’t worked on Christmas.

Except this year, she actually had someone to celebrate with, and she hadn’t really thought about that fact until about fifteen minutes after she’d offered to pick up the holiday. She would have felt like a selfish bitch to walk into the back office and tell Cam she actually wanted to retract her offer to work both days, subjecting all her coworkers to a lottery and being seen as a flake at best, a giant asshole at worst. So, she just kept working, letting a giant ball of fear and regret stew in her stomach, getting worse and worse as her shift inched along and she was closer to having to tell Drake what she had done.

He was going to be pissed at her. She just knew it, and he honestly had every right to be. This was his first Christmas not in Cordonia, as far as she knew. He really only knew her in the city, and… fuck, she’d promised him that they would celebrate Christmas together when he decided he wasn’t ready to go down to Texas to spend the holiday with his mother and aunt. God, she was such a shitty girlfriend.

When Drake popped into the bar a few minutes before the end of her shift, she forced a little smile, but it must have looked hollow, because Drake furrowed his brow and gave her a slight frown. Sure enough, as soon as she had clocked out, slipped on her coat, and headed out from the bar hand in hand with Drake, he zeroed in on her mood.

“Did something happen tonight?” he asked, twisting back to look towards the bar.

Riley just shook her head. “No, I just fucked up.” She kept staring ahead, her boots crunching over the salt on the sidewalk, but she could feel Drake staring at her. He was obviously waiting for her to elaborate. She didn’t want to have to confess, to ruin their little bubble of peace and happiness, but she knew she needed to be honest and get it over with. So, she let out a little sigh before soldiering on. “I told Cam I could work on Christmas.”

Drake was silent for a second or two before he asked, “Eve or day?”

“Both.”

His silence stretched on a few moments longer before his response to that. “Oh,” was all he said. He kept his hand locked in hers, but Riley noticed him slow down his pace just slightly. She felt like absolute trash.

“I’m so sorry, Drake. I just wasn’t thinking. I’ve worked so many Christmases in a row that I think I just volunteered out of habit.”

“It’s fine, Liu.”

“No, it’s not. I was mad thoughtless. I totally get if you’re pissed at me.”

“I’m not pissed at you.”

Riley stopped at that, tugging Drake to a halt as well and pulling him around to face her directly. “Drake, come on. I fucked up.”

He gave her a little shrug and shook his head. “It’s not a big deal. I spent the last couple of Christmases in a bar anyway. At least you’ll be there too this year.”

“You spent your last Christmases in a bar?”

Drake ran his free hand through his hair as he shrugged again. “Well… yeah? Liam always had royal duties on the actual holiday, and after Savannah left, it’s not like I had anyone else to celebrate with or anything.”

Hearing how his most recent Christmases had been spent, Riley found herself feeling even shittier somehow. He finally had a chance at a festive and happy celebration, and she had ruined it. Her expression must have shifted enough to show some pity, because Drake shook his head. “Come on, it wasn’t so bad. Besides, you were the one who just said she was forced to work a bunch of Christmases in a row. That’s way worse than just grabbing a few drinks at a bar and calling it a night.”

“I didn’t have to work; I always offered.”

“You what?”

“I always volunteered if my managers asked, and if they didn’t, I switched with coworkers who had kids or families.”

“Tips that good on Christmas?”

“I mean, I usually got a customer or two that left a lot due to ‘holiday spirit’ or some shit, but it was more that I didn’t have anything better to do.” Riley kicked the toe of her boot against the sidewalk, her eyes pulling away from Drake’s gaze. She was trying to be better about acknowledging the painful parts of her past she would rather forget, but she still didn’t really like to talk about things like this. It tended to dredge up a slew of memories that she’d worked hard to put behind her.

“Liu… Riley,” Drake said, the switch to her first name prompting her to glance back up from her feet to his face. “When was the last time you had anyone to celebrate Christmas with?”

She bit her lip and let out a sigh. She knew that it wasn’t fair that Drake opened up to her about his past quite a bit while she still kept a lot of things to herself, but that didn’t make these things easy to talk about. “When I was 17. I was with the Andersons during one of my mom’s last prison stints before I aged out of the system. They were excited to finally get a chance to be foster moms since New York finally recognized their marriage from Vermont, so they kind of made it a big deal. I was so closed off by that point, though, that I didn’t really appreciate it.”

Drake just looked at her for a few moments before he tugged her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her back as he held her tight to his chest. “Why do you let me whine about my past when you had things so much worse?” he mumbled into her hair.

She let out a sigh, returning his hug as she hooked her arms around him. “It’s not a competition, Drake. It’s not like either of us had that cheesy Norman Rockwell holiday experience.”

He didn’t say anything else, just ran his hand along her spine. After a few moments, they stepped apart, hands locking back together as they continued along back to their apartment.

“You know,” Drake said, “back when I was growing up, my dad worked every Christmas.”

Based on his tone, Riley knew he was trying to make her feel better about the fact that she’d agreed to work the holiday, but it honestly made things worse. Not only were his recent Christmases crappy, but so were his childhood ones, apparently. “God, I’m so sorry. If I had known you had a history of having people work on the-”

“No, that wasn’t my point!” he interrupted. “We made the 26th ‘Walker Christmas’ and we did the whole celebration then. Gifts, big meal, holiday movies, all of it. It was really fun and special. Even after he died and we could have just celebrated on the actual holiday, Savannah and I kept the tradition alive for a long time.”

“Really?”

“Yup. As we got older, Sav usually got us invited to some sort of fancy Christmas party with some of the nobles on the 24th or 25th, but the 26th just stayed our family day. I always loved that it was our tradition to celebrate then.”

She glanced over at him, wondering not for the first time how she had managed to find someone like him. Someone who didn’t seem fazed or flustered by any of her baggage, who somehow showed he cared without making it seem like a big deal. Maybe it was because they had enough similarities in their pasts that he “got it,” but that honestly seemed like it was selling him short. Because it went deeper than shared mommy issues and fears of abandonment. The way he treated her felt like so much more than similar traumas, and she sometimes didn’t know how to respond, so caught off guard by a level of compassion and understanding she would have never thought possible.

“You’re too nice to me,” she finally settled on, watching as Drake’s cheeks grew pinker than they had been from just the winter wind.

He shook his head. “Nah, it’s really nothing, Liu.”

She knew that wasn’t true, but she didn’t push him. She knew he wanted to just move forward and not make a big deal of things. So she stepped closer to him, bumping him with her shoulder as she gave his hand a squeeze. “So, what do we need to do to make it a true Walker Christmas?”

“Not let you anywhere near the oven to start.”

She elbowed him and shook her head as Drake chuckled. “I am not that bad of a cook.”

“Uh huh. Sure, Liu. How many times have you made gingerbread?” She just scowled at him, prompting him to laugh again. “Exactly. So I’ll take care of the cooking and baking.”

All Riley could do was roll her eyes as they kept walking along the sidewalk. “I don’t really have any decorations,” she said, “And I don’t think we’ll exactly have space for a tree.”

“Ehh, I bet we can still make it festive. It’ll be good, Liu.”

His steadiness and willingness to just roll with her screw up and make the best of it had made her a little emotional. She didn’t quite understand why someone like him had been treated like shit by so many people in his life, but all she could really do was be grateful that their paths had crossed. “You sure you’re okay with celebrating late?” she asked as they reached their building, dropping his hand to find her keys in her purse.

“Christmas isn’t really about a day on the calendar,” he said with a shrug, following her into the lobby.

She spun and kissed him lightly before starting up the stairs. “Thank you, Drake.”

“Of course, Liu. Of course.”

Perma: @walkerswhiskeygirl @octobereighth @kimmiedoo5 @mom2000aggie

TRR/TRH: @iaminlovewithtrr @mskaneko @axwalker @jovialyouthmusic @marshmallowsandfire @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @debramcg1106 @masterofbluff @sarahx206

Drake/MC: @no-one-u-know @iplaydrake

ICWAM: @thequeenchoices @sunnyxdazed @sammie0220

#drake walker #drake x mc #trr au #trr au fanfic #trr fanfic

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crazy-loca-blog · 4 years

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Personal Thoughts on... With Every Heartbeat

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week and what I’d like to see in the next chapters, because none of my friends play Choices so I have no one to comment the books with.

You may read my Hot Couture review here You may read my A Very Scandalous Proposal review here

And last, but not least…

There were two main reasons why I decided to leave this book as the final one to read. First, it was the fan favorite among people who had early access to the VIP feature, so I saved the best for last (based on the tester’s opinion). And second, because I knew I needed to be emotionally prepared to read it. I lost my grandpa to cancer some time ago, so I was pretty sure that this book could be helpful in my own healing process or it could break me down once again. Luckily I saw the advice about grabbing some tissues before reading it.

This book proves that it is possible to have a lot of the things that a part of the fandom currently hates (that is, a romance story, gender locked, with reused faces and a single LI who is customizable but who’s also “forced”), and to deliver quality content. It tells the story of the relationship between our MC (her default name is Sage Woods) and Dakota Winchester (our customizable LI) during their senior year at high school, and specially their journey after they realize that Dakota has cancer. It takes place in Boston, and a huge part of it takes place specifically at Edenbrook. My guess is that the story develops in parallel to Open Heart 2 (based on Harper’s role at Edenbrook and the fact that Ethan doesn’t seem to hate text messages anymore), and even though you may see a lot of familiar faces (such as Ethan, Harper, the paramedic and the nurses), the only Open Heart character that is somehow relevant is Danny, Sienna’s “special friend” the nurse.

Saying this book is beautiful is an understatement. Despite there is a lot going on in the story, PB made a wonderful job balancing everything, to the point that you may not notice how many topics are being addressed at the same time because the story still flows and you don’t feel like you’re missing anything. It is pretty evident that the writers thought about every single detail and that they put a lot of love and respect on it. One of the main reasons why I find it so unique is the fact that the story seems to be narrated from our MC’s and Dakota’s point of view at the same time. Every chapter begins with Dakota basically introducing what’s going to happen in the story and the MC making some comment about it.

Also, despite the fact that it addresses a heavy topic such as severe illnesses and heavy treatments in kids and teenagers, pity is nowhere to be seen. In fact, I’d say the story is full of hope, happiness, positivity and peace, despite the heartbreaking moments at some points of the book. It also balances the powerful main plot (dealing with cancer) with some other recurring stuff that teenagers face during senior year: school, graduation, university applications, self-discovery, sexuality, the relationship with our parents, reaching the majority of age, friendship, growing up, the future… it’s definitely the whole package.

As per the characters, I have some mixed feelings. There are some outstanding characters such as Dakota (my absolute favorite!), the MC, Mateo, Lennox and the MC’s mom. But at the same time, there are characters such as Heather, Jayden and Emily that I wouldn’t miss if they weren’t there. I understand it was necessary to add characters for the school setting, but it felt weird to see them in Edenbrook after Dakota mentioned they weren’t close friends. Despite this, the character treatment and their development is simply amazing (and honestly, I would have never guessed why Amy, our BFF, and even our own mom didn’t want us to not be involved with Dakota at first… those were good plot twists!).

Another aspect that I absolutely loved about the book is that it makes you feel that your diamonds are worthy. It’s definitely not as expensive as the other two VIP books (or at least that’s what I felt), and you don’t have mood boards or a lot of clothes. Instead, you spend your diamonds on scenes, so you can expect a lot of nice, sweet content for your money diamonds. Also, throughout the story, you’ll realize that Dakota is worth every single diamond, even if that means buying a new dress just because you want to make them happy.

I don’t know if any of the writers in the team went through something similar in the past, but I’m overwhelmed by the level of accuracy throughout the book. There were some phrases and situations that took me back to my own experience years ago. The chemo, the hospital visits, the improvements that give you some hope, the strength you must have when things get harder… the story is a rollercoaster, just as it is the whole situation in real life. Will I replay this book? Definitely, but I need to be emotionally strong to do it (now I’m a mess, you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve had to stop writing this post because I can’t stop crying, hahaha). In the meantime, I’m really hoping to see it released to everyone, as I’m pretty sure this book is going straight to the “masterpiece” category.

#playchoices #choices stories you play #with every heartbeat #choices with every heartbeat #with every heartbeat choices #wehb #sage woods #dakota winchester #mateo #lennox #amy lancaster #heather #jayden #emily #edenbrook

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muwi-translates · 4 years

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Otomate Party 2019 Collar x Malice Drama “Reverse reality”

Short drama featured in Otopa 2019, this was also shown in the 2020 Otomate New Title Party livestream.

HEAVY BASE GAME SPOILERS. There’s also some minor spoilers AND a CG spoiler for -Unlimited-. Either way, don’t read this if you have not finished the first game.

Highly recommend that you watch while you read, it will 100% enhance the experience. It’s also because there are some ad-libs that are better experienced while you can see the voice actors and be able to hear the crowd. Here is a timestamped link to the section (if it doesn’t jump there, it starts at 15:23)

**Please don’t move this translation or claim it as your own.**

---

Yanagi: 20XX, December. Vicious events that have been committed in succession have disrupted social order. Known as the X-Day Incidents, we, who were former police officers, have been investigating--

Okazaki: Aha, wait, Yanagi-san~

Yanagi: Okazaki…Don’t interrupt others when they’re starting their monologue.

Okazaki: Sorry, but this time it doesn’t look like we need a very serious atmosphere.

Yanagi: What did you say?

Okazaki: The title seems to be wrong, it’s actually this:

[Title: It was just a dream]

Yanagi: What?

Okazaki: Shall I give you a summary then?

Okazaki: On a day in 20XX, a party was being held in a corner of Shinjuku. Thanks to the magic of Otopa (Otomate Party), in a place where time and space become twisted, a group of people who normally cannot meet have gathered…

---

Yanagi: An izakaya… no, I really don’t understand what’s—

Shiraishi: If it were just Yanagi-kun, Okazaki-kun and I…

Saeki: I feel like I’m intruding, sorry about that.

Mikuni: There should be no need to apologise. We were also forcibly brought here when we were busy.

Okazaki: Soooo… I believe that one is Ichika-chan’s co-worker from the police station, Saeki-kun, right?

Saeki: Yup.

Okazaki: And that one is the politician Mikuni-san?

Mikuni: Yes. I also know who you are very well. You’re the people from the detective agency who are investigating the X-Day incidents by yourselves. Since you’ve also been investigating the identity of the mastermind of Adonis, you must have discovered our involvement by now.

Yanagi: Hmph. Not gonna bother to hide it? Should I treat this as your confession?

Shiraishi: Hey, Yanagi-kun, you don’t have to think that much this time. All that about the incidents, arrests, they all don’t exist~

Yanagi: Excuse me?

Saeki: Ah, they told me before I came here, Today, let’s just throw away all that messy stuff from the main story. We can’t go dropping spoilers, yeah?

Okazaki: Haha, yup, it’s Otomate Party, after all.

Saeki: Yup, hehe~

Okazaki: So that means that it’s Saeki-kun and Mikuni-san’s first time meeting us, isn’t it?

Saeki: Ah, I know Shiraishi-san since he’s pretty famous in the Shinjuku station… but that’s about it.

Shiraishi: Ahaha… Mikuni-san, this should be fine, yes?

Mikuni: Are you trying to say that I should pretend I don’t know you, Num—

Shiraishi: Waitwaitwait… If you say it then what’s the point?

Yanagi: …Not enough...

Okazaki: Hm? Yanagi-kun, what’s wrong?

Shiraishi: Is there something wrong with your account book?

Yanagi: ...Not enough of Enomoto’s complaints...

Okazaki: Ah…. mm…. We do have a serious shortage of complaining.

Yanagi: Whatever. I can call you Mikuni, right?

Mikuni: Yes, even though I didn’t allow you to call me by name. The only one who has permission to do so is--

Shiraishi: S-S-Stop, didn’t we just say not to talk about the personal identity of that person today?

Yanagi: I can’t believe it… that Shiraishi’s thinking of other people?

Okazaki: Wait a second, Saeki-kun’s being left behind. I’m sorry, making you feel uncomfortable.

Saeki: It’s no problem, but… maybe I’m not meant to be here? You’re all important characters in the main story. I’m probably the youngest character amongst everyone here. Plus I’m just the friend of the protagonist.

Okazaki: What’s up with the weird reaction from the audience?

Saeki: You must be mistaken!

Okazaki: I must be! Haha~

Saeki: Hahaha

Okazaki: Ah, now that I remember, I’m so jealous you’re Ichika-chan’s coworker. I heard you two go out drinking together a lot.

Yanagi: That’s right, Saeki’s the only one who knows Hoshino well here.

Shiraishi: She’s still cautious with us, so I’m very interested in what kind of person she is.

Saeki: He~eh, Hosino’s pretty popular. But all I know is that she’s a really normal person. She’s always doing her best, and straightforwardly. Sometimes she can be discouraged and be in low spirits, but when she’s angry, she can be really scary. Ah! And when she gets drunk, she laughs a lot and gets really passionate when she talks to me.

Mikuni: …Is that it?

Saeki: Hm?

Mikuni: If Ichika Hoshino is as normal as you say then I believe she should not have been chosen by Adonis.

Yanagi: Oi, Mikuni, what do you mean?

Saeki: Oh… I don’t know how Adonis thinks, but I think she’s strong because she’s normal.

Mikuni: I don’t understand, even if I do want to, since she holds the key to us.

Saeki: Ahaha, to a brilliant politician like you, our worlds are completely different.

Shiraishi: ...Sorry, I can’t stand this anymore.

Yanagi: I can’t believe it… that Shiraishi’s losing his cool!

Okazaki: Truly a rare sight to behold.

Okazaki: That said, we’re in front of a gathering of girls, we shouldn’t be this aggressive. If our goal is to become friends, why don’t we play a game?

Shiraishi: Do you mean the friendship games that Okazaki-kun and Mineo-kun always play?

Yanagi: Those? It’s going to get more chaotic if so many people start drinking tequila.

Okazaki: Then what about a ‘revelation game’? We’ll reveal our true thoughts on the subject written on the back of these cards. And you have to answer the question no matter what it is.

Saeki: Oh, I like it! I’d be happy to get to know everyone better.

Mikuni: It’s of no loss to me if I get information from you.

Shiraishi: Then let’s go clockwise from Yanagi-kun.

Yanagi: Why do I have to go first? Nothing I can do about it-- IT’S MY TURN.

[Card: What kind of gestures do you like in a woman?]

Yanagi: Gestures? I haven’t really thought about it, something like tying long hair into a bun, I guess?

Saeki: Ah, I get that! It looks really nice when they’re wearing a yukata.

Shiraishi: Really? Should I tie my hair like that?

Yanagi: I didn’t ask.

Mikuni: I see. I’ll add this to the data we have on Aiji Yanagi.

Yanagi: I. Didn’t. Ask.

Okazaki: Then it’s my turn next. What’ll it be~?

[Card: What’s something you want a woman to say to you?]

Yanagi: Is this really about friendship?

Okazaki: Hm… I can feel the coercive energy of Otopa… it’s like... a heavy pressure.

Saeki: Okazaki-san looks like he’s pretty popular. I wanna learn from you.

Okazaki: Haha, you sound like Mineo-kun. Words I want to hear from a woman… Yanagi-san, it’s better to give a more restrained answer, right?

Yanagi: Yeah, it might be bad if you’re too careless, ah, but there’s still a chance. I’d rather you say something that can be visualised, it’s okay if you say something that can’t. Anyway, I’m leaving it up to you.

Okazaki: I’m just going to follow what’s in the script, then.

Okazaki: The golden phrase “I don’t want to go back”. If she said it like that, it would be impossible not to want her.

Shiraishi: I don’t get it, what kind of situation wouldn’t let her go home? Does she work at a bad company?

Mikuni: Perhaps her family situation is complicated?

Saeki: Uh, are you two really fully-grown men?

Yanagi: ...Enomoto… come here quickly… I’ll even take Namikawa (Daisuke)!

Shiraishi: It’s my turn next, right?

[Card: What kind of food do you want a woman to make for you?]

Shiraishi: Hm. Nothing in particular. I could just make it myself.

Okazaki: So dreamless! Shiraishi-san, you always eat such dull things. Don’t you ever crave some homemade food?

Shiraishi: Then Yanagi-kun will make something for me, so no.

Yanagi: Oi, I’m not your mother.

Mikuni: So Aiji Yanagi has the ability to win people’s hearts with good food. This cannot be underestimated.

Shiraishi: No matter how you say it, home made food is--

Saeki: [Slams his cup down] No! There’s stuff like meat and potato stew! And karage! That’s romantic!

Okazaki: Oh… Saeki-kun’s drunk. When did he drink that much?

Saeki: Pfft- I ain’t drunk! The night’s still young~!

Yanagi: The alcohol’s gone to his head, here, drink some water.

Mikuni: It might be better to lie down, come over here…

Saeki: Nuh-uh. I wanna play… the revelation game!!!

[Card: What’s your type of woman?]

Saeki: Ooh! My type of woman… let me think. Of course, she’s gotta be cute… has style, she’s good at cooking. Someone who’s usually honest, but sticks to their beliefs… and responsible with work.

Shiraishi: So someone who’s similar to you? Or someone who has the same type of thinking as you?

Okazaki: Also… this… sounds similar to Ichika-chan.

Saeki: Hm? Nah, we’re not like that--

Mikuni: --Enough. I should be going back soon.

Yanagi: Oi, what’s with you all of a sudden--

Okazaki: Ah… my vision… it’s weird… Yanagi-san...

Yanagi: What’s going on… this sound…

Shiraishi: Ah, is it over already?

Mikuni: We have fully obtained the information required for analysis. You must be satisfied too?

Okazaki: What… it hurts…--

---

Okazaki: *gasps* Huh? ...A dream? My bad, did I wake you up? No, I’m okay. I just had a weird dream. Good morning. Is your body okay? Last night I went too-- ah! Hehe, so cute~

I didn’t forget. Our promise that we were going on a date today. But I just want to hold you all the time, because you’re too cute. So cute it’s trouble.

If I kissed you like this outside you’d get angry at me, right? So… can you let me keep you all to myself just for a little longer?

---

Shiraishi: Hm? Was I asleep? I was reading to the children… it looks like I fell asleep when we were together. Eh? You were looking at my sleeping face? What’s that about, so unfair. You know I wanted to see yours too. I’ll see it someday. That’s right, there’s still ‘someday’ after this…

I still think it’s strange even now. If I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t know that the sun was this warm, or that the breeze is so pleasant. Just holding hands with you makes my chest hurt. Even though I still have to make you feel lonely for a little while longer, don’t worry. Because we’re connected under the same sky.

---

Mikuni: Ah, it’s you. Are you reporting something for work? My complexion is bad? No… I just had a strange dream. How rare for you to worry about me. I know, this is just superficial rhetoric used by subordinates. However, after talking with you over these past few days, the way I deal with people seems to have changed.

I… quite clearly think that you are annoying, but I do not hate you. Even in a hell like this, the light in your eyes has not disappeared. It seems that I am drawn to your strength.

No… forget what I said. That was just a joke that will disappear one day like illusions.

---

Saeki: Ah, sorry, I was just a little dazed. ...Careful! Almost dropped the crepe. It’s already sunset, after we finish, we should go.

…! Don’t make that kind of expression. Hey, Hoshino. I know you’re at your wit’s end trying to figure out what path you want to take. You must have already decided in your heart, right?

I see… I’ll always support you no matter what decision you make. And… I’ll resist like you are until the very end, if this is the ‘justice’ you believe in.

It’s sad, but let’s finish our date here today. Hey, will you go on another with me?

Haha, how cold… I still want to be with you like this. That’s why, see you again.

---

Yanagi: ...It’s still night.... You’re awake? I sounded like I was in pain? ...I made you worry. It’s okay, it wasn’t the dream I usually have. ...It wasn’t the same, but I guess it was still a nightmare.

Can I hold you? It’s not that I feel uneasy. It’s just that I can feel peaceful when I can feel you next to me. As long as you’re smiling next to me, I can push away any nightmare no matter what it’s about. And I can believe that I can welcome the dawn the next day.

We have the day off today, don’t we? Let’s go somewhere. I want to walk with you, through the streets of the Shinjuku I love.

#otome #otome game #collar x malice #collar x malice unlimited #cxm #otomate #yanagi aiji #shiraishi kageyuki #okazaki kei #mytranslations

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crystalwillow · 4 years

Text

Hesitant

Pairing: Elijah Greene x Casey Valentine (F!MC)

A/N: Like myself, have you ever wondered what a blossoming romantic relationship with Elijah and Casey would be like? After talking it over in a group chat recently, I was inspired to take the leap and write a fiction about just that. I feel like there is going to be a lot of fluff and sweet love ahead. Enough to maybe rot your teeth and make you shed a few tears. So grab a snack, drink and a tissue or two. Maybe three. And settle down to take a sweet journey with two of our favourite residents as they realize they’re falling in love.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was another busy afternoon at Edenbrook, and a lot of the staffs pagers had just gone off, calling them to the ER for triage. Casey rushed towards the stairs seeing that the elevators were crowded. At the back of a long queue she saw one of her fellow residents, Elijah at the back, trying to wheel his way through the chaos. She stopped and her legs automatically turned round and carried her over.

“Okay people! Y’all who have legs and can use stairs shift it in that direction. We have doctors here that actually need to use the elevators!” she commanded loudly. Others looking at her in shock as she stopped beside Dr. Greene.

The other doctors knew she had a point and realized it would be quicker for them to take the stairs, so they hurried in that direction. Elijah smiled up at her as he wheeled himself forwards and pressed the button to call the elevator.

“Thanks Casey.”

“It was nothing. I didn’t just become a doctor to help out the people in the rooms who need our care.”

“Join me?” he asked as the elevator pinged and the doors opened. Smiling she stepped inside with him and hit the button for the ground floor.

“You know what sucks?” he asked.

“What?”

“We’re on dinner duty tonight.”

“Awesome. I’ve been wanting to cook this new pasta dish.”

Elijah smiled as he laughed, shaking his head lightly. “You can be real shameless.”

“And? So can you. When you want to be.” She replied as they headed towards the doors of the ER.

“Alright. Professional faces back on.”

“I shall see you after this Dr. Greene.”

“Copy that, Dr. Valentine.”

Casey giggled and then got straight to work at getting people’s symptoms and tagging them correctly. Though when she reached one patient, her heart dropped as she heard his voice.

“Not to sound rude, it’s extremely busy here. Please, talk.”

“I have a slight headache and a bunch of cuts and scrapes. My leg is also in extreme pain.”

Casey knew she had a job to do but she was frozen, scared to look up. It was just a coincidence, some dude had a vocal tone that was similar to her friend Bryce, she just hadn’t detected it yet.

“Casey?” Bryce said gently, wincing as he reached out to place his hand on her shoulder.

No. No. No. Damn it. It is her friend. Taking a brief moment to breathe, she turned her gaze up to him, only to gasp at the cuts and scrapes he had all over him. He smiled softly with an encouraging nod which seemed to give her enough strength to tag him correctly and move on. Once triage was complete, she waited for the other doctors to clear out before trying to leave herself. She looked at Bryce who was being seen to as she waited. As if he sensed her, he looked over and gave a smile as if to tell her he was going to be fine. She looked back at him, a sad frown etched on her face.

“I’m going to be fine Case. It’s looking like all I have is a broken leg.” He called out and smiled as he watched some happiness comeback into her being. As if some life had been put back in her with those few words. She waved and then filed out of the ER behind the last few doctors and headed back to her work.

--- That Evening ---

Casey and Elijah were at home, chilling on the couches with their gaming controllers in hand as they played Mario Kart. They were trash talking and nudging each other as they both had their competitive side starting to show.

“Haha! Eat my banana skin you stupid mushroom man! I’m going to win!” Casey exclaimed as she raced towards the finish line

“Oh yeah? Well why don’t you, eat my dust!” Elijah shouted as he used a mushroom to speed past her and cross the finish line in first place. “Hahaha! Yes! That’s what I’m talking about baby. First place! Out of nowhere.”

“Very slick Elijah. Very slick. Well done.” Casey congratulated with a smile as she placed her controller on the coffee table.

“Aw. Are we not going to do another race?” Elijah pouted

“I’d love to. But, we have dinner to cook.”

“You’re right... We should do that before the zombies return and have nothing. They’d eat us.”

“Exactly. After you.”

Elijah put his controller next to Casey’s and wheeled himself to the kitchen.

“So. Casey. You said something about a pasta dish?”

“Yeah. It’s a basic tomato and basil pasta but I want to try and put a twist to it. My own unique taste. Maybe then it could be referred to as the Casey Special.”

“Not fair! I’d know the secret too. It should be called the C&E!”

“Nope. E is what I call Ethan. During work hours it’s Dr. Ramsey, so when we hang out as friends if I say Ethan, he knows he’s in trouble.”

“Okay. Then how about... The Elijsey Special?”

“The Elijsey Special...” she pondered, looking at the sink before turning back to Elijah with a smile. “I like it.”

“Awesome! So what can I do to help?”

“How’s your experience in making a tomato and basil sauce?”

“I’m pretty good at that, believe it or not.”

“I wouldn’t doubt you for a second. Well, not when it comes to things like this. If you were to do something incredibly stupid on the other hand...”

“What? Like, I don’t know, run down the street screaming “I’m practically Taylor Swift. Watch!” then drop into a puddle, shouting the lyrics to Enchanted. Very passionately may I add.”

“That was one time Eli. And plus. Taylor Swift is one of the most powerful female figures in the entertainment industry. I was doing some promotion for her.”

“At 2am. Walking home from the bar?”

“I’ll have you know, Dr. Greene, All the best things happen with a bar, and 2am involved somehow.”

They shared a look and laugh as they continued cooking dinner. They were just plating up when the door opened and closed, a tired yet frustrated sigh following it.

“Worst. Day. EVER!”

Casey and Elijah shared a look of concern before heading out into the main area of the apartment, where they saw Sienna on the couch. Face buried in a cushion before she let out a frustrated scream. She didn’t seem to notice they were there as they shared a deeper concerned look. Things must be really bad for her to be screaming into cushions.

“Hey... Si?” Casey asked hesitantly.

“Is everything... okay?” Elijah added.

Sienna sat up and looked at them with a little bit of shock.

“Oh! Casey. Elijah. Hi.. I um, I forgot you were home first. I.. Sorry about... all that.”

“Don’t apologize for having feelings.” Casey said as she sat next to their friend

“Yeah. Everyone has them, and if you don’t let them out things get real ugly. Fast.”

“But you guys have never seen me like this before. It’s embarrassing.”

“That may be true. But Elijah and I just finished dinner. Why don’t we sit at the table. You can rant to us about everything that’s made today horrible and then afterwards we’ll watch some movies.”

“I’ll watch movies if we can finish with a Star Wars film.”

Sienna looked back and forth between her roommates, a small smile graced her delicate features.

“That... Sounds like exactly what I need actually. Do we have wine?”

“Only the best red money can buy to accompany a pasta dish.”

“You guys made pasta?!”

“Yup. And the tomato sauce was made by yours truly. So if it tastes amazing... It was all me.”

Casey laughed and playfully shoved Elijah’s shoulder as she passed him to the kitchen and put 3 plates on a tray, carrying it to the table. Elijah followed behind with the wine and the glasses, setting them out and pouring them all a glass as they settled into enjoy the meal. Sienna ate a mouthful of pasta, groaning in bliss.

“You guys. This is amazing.”

Casey and Elijah smiled at each other before turning back to their friend and accepting the compliment with a thanks, and together they all tucked in as Sienna ranted about her day. It sounded rough. She talked about how she had 2 patients die, charts getting mixed up when she knew she put them in the right places. And so much more that made her mood extremely valid. After the meal, just as Casey said, they all sat around the TV and watched movies. Sienna had made herself comfortable in a chair with her blanket. Elijah and Casey sat on the couch, Casey resting her head on Elijah’s shoulder. His heart racing at the close proximity and one question in particular raced through his mind. Does she like me too?

Elijah had liked Casey for a while but didn’t want to accidently blur the lines and ruin the good friendship they’d built. She wrapped her arms around his waist to hug him as she looked up and smiled at him. God, there it was. That sweet smile that matched the scent of her perfume perfectly. After a moment he looked down and smiled back at her as his arm naturally went round her shoulder, hugging her closer. A couple of movies passed before Sienna started falling asleep, saying goodnight to her roommates, and going to her bedroom. Jackie had made it home by now and was at the table eating her dinner. Casey and Elijah finished the movie they were watching and in that time Jackie had finished her food, disappearing to her room for the night as well. Casey sat up, stretching as the movie finished.

“I’m going to the toilet. Then I’ll grab us some more drinks and snacks so we can watch that Star Wars movie yeah?”

“Sounds great!”

Casey left to sort herself and everything out before coming back, cuddling on the couch with Elijah again. They were quite a way through the movie when Casey turned to look at Elijah after feeling his breathing change. She smiled softly and paused the movie, moving carefully to pick him up, turning round carrying him to his room to put him to bed. She then went back and cleared everything away, washed the dishes and was about to wheel Elijah’s chair to his room and leave it by his bed, when the door opened, and an extremely tired Aurora walked in.

“Hey.” Casey greeted softly.

“Hey.” Aurora smiled tiredly.

“Your dinner’s in the kitchen. Me and Elijah made tomato and basil pasta”

“Thanks. I’ll try to keep my eyes open long enough to eat it.”

The two chuckled, then Casey headed off with Elijah’s chair before going to bed herself. She had just closed her eyes when her phone rang. Groaning she answered it.

“This better be important because I just got into bed.”

“Casey... It’s Bryce. You need to come to the hospital. Now.”

Hearing the urgency in Bryce’s tone, she hung up and put her phone down. Grabbing the closest pair of sneakers, she slid her feet into them, tying the laces. Having only enough time to grab her phone and keys, before rushing out of the door. When she arrived at Edenbrook, she quickly found Bryce sitting in the main atrium with his leg in a cast and crutches beside him.

“What’s up?”

“It’s Dr. Ramsey.”

“What about him?”

“He’s in the ER going nuts!”

“Over what?”

“Nobody knows! He just stormed in and...” at a loss for words Bryce just gestured his hands.

“So why call me?”

“Dr. Banerji requested it. Not even he can calm Ethan down, and well he knows you and Ethan sort of.. just get each other.”

Sighing and pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes and rubbing, Casey sighed as she shook her head.

“I’ll see if I can help. But I’m not making any promises.”

Casey turned and headed to the ER walking through the door and was met with a wall of chaos and shouting. Looking around she found Ethan at the foot of a bed, yelling at a nurse to work faster. The nurse looked terrified as her hands trembled trying to get the IV line steady and positioned properly. Sighing she walked over and placed a gentle hand on his arm.

“Ethan.” She sighed sadly.

He turned and looked beside him but just shrugged Casey’s arm off. Too enraged over whatever it was to even speak back, he moved on. Casey sighed deeper knowing she’d have to bring out the theatrics.

“Ethan please.” She pleaded following him, sadness and desperation in her voice.

Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose he turned around. “What is it, Rookie?”

“Not here please. Somewhere... private.”

He looked down into her eyes that she had molded into perfect pools of sadness and confusion. He closed his own eyes for a brief moment, biting his lip before telling her to follow him. Together they walked towards the exit, nurses and doctors alike silently thanking her with subtle nods of their heads. They reached Ethan’s personal office and he shut the door behind them.

“What is it? What’s happened?” “That’s what I should be asking you Dr. Ramsey.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do. Why did you go into the ER and just start shouting. That isn’t you Ethan. Not even when your super stressed about a case do you do that.”

“Yeah, well. Maybe I’m not the amazing person you draw me up to be Casey.”

“What? Of course you are. Okay... so you have a prickly side. But so does everyone.”

“No they don’t Casey. Not like I do.”

“Ethan please. Sto-”

“NO CASEY. YOU STOP! STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME HAPPY. STOP TRYING TO SEE THE GOOD IN ME. JUST STOP TRYING WITH ME. WHILST YOU STILL HAVE THE FUCKING CHANCE!”

She was taken aback for a moment at his harsh tone towards her but as he continued shouting, her resolve hardened, and she punched him full force in both arms. He glared at her then continued shouting. She hated resorting to it, but she pulled her hand back and with a little jump to help boost her higher, she slapped him round the face. Leaving a handprint behind. Shocked, Ethan stopped talking almost immediately and stared at her.

“Fucking finally.” She retorts annoyed, rolling her eyes.

“Did you... Did you just JUMP to slap me?”

“So what if I did. You needed to shut the fuck up so you can listen.”

For about another hour, they sat and hashed out what was making Ethan so angry in that moment. At the end of it he was exhausted and yawning like a baby.

“You should get home Ethan. Get some sleep before tomorrow.”

“I guess so.” He said as he let out another yawn. “Let me drop you home though. You shouldn’t be walking alone at this time of night.

“Thanks.” Casey smiled sweetly and headed to the atrium to wait for him to change and come down.

“Ah! Dr. Valentine.”

Casey turned at the mention of her name and saw a brightly smiling but very tired eyed Dr. Banerji walking towards her.

“Dr. Valentine. Thank you for coming here so late. I know it’s a terrible inconvenience.”

“No. It’s no trouble at all. Anything for my friends.” she replied, stifling a yawn behind her hand.

“As a thank you, don’t worry about starting your next shift at 7am. Come in for 1pm. You need the rest you deserve, and it is late.”

“Oh, Dr. Banerji... I- I don’t know if I can...”

“Nonsense. I’ve already watched Ethan do this. I’m not letting you do it too. You’re going home and you’re going to rest. And by rest I mean sleep.”

Casey opened her mouth to protest but stopped when she saw Ethan coming over and just gave a smile and curt nod to Naveen. After saying goodbye’s and Naveen turning down a lift home from Ethan about 6 times, Casey left with her mentor and they headed to her apartment. Ethan parked on the curb and said one more thank you to Casey before they shared a hug, Casey heading inside. When she got to her room, she fell into her bed and went to sleep instantly.

The next day it was close to 10:25am when Casey stumbled tiredly from her room, heading to the kitchen to get coffee before getting ready for work. She knew Naveen had said 1pm, but she was up earlier than that so she may as well head in as soon as she can.

“Casey?” Elijah questioned as he came out the kitchen with a drink of his own.

“Oh. Hey Eli” she smiled with a yawn.

“I thought you started at 7 today? You’re late.”

“No.” Casey shook her head. “I got called to the hospital last night after you fell asleep. Dr. Banerji all but ordered I go in for 1pm.”

Elijah chuckled. That sounded exactly like Naveen.

“In that case. Could we talk about something before you leave?”

“Could I get my coffee first?”

“Obviously. I’m not a monster”

Casey grinned and went into the kitchen, brewing herself a cup of coffee before joining Elijah on the couch they shared the previous night.

“So. What’s going on Dr. Greene?” she smiled, sipping her coffee

“Well... Are you good with feelings talk?”

“I talk with patients about them all the time. I’m all ears. Whatever it’s about.”

Elijah hesitated before sighing deeply, trouble clouding his eyes.

“The thing here is. It’s about you. And my feelings regarding you.”

“Oh. Have I done something to upset you? Was I supposed to remove your jeans before tucking you in?”

“So that’s how I got to my room. I thought I’d fell asleep elsewhere.” Elijah chuckled. “But no. it’s nothing bad.”

Casey sighed a breath of relief but then confusion crossed her face. “Then what is it?”

“I.... I think I should just come out and say it. I like you Casey. And not just as a friend. I like like you.”

Casey sat in stunned silence as she reveled in his admission. She too had felt something between them. She just wasn’t sure what it was, so never acted upon it beyond a friendship. Though she had no idea he felt the same way. If she even felt what he was feeling that is.

“Casey...”

“Hm? Oh yeah. I’m still here.”

“Are you... okay?”

“I’m fine.” She reassured and drank more of her coffee, watching as Elijah’s face fell.

“You don’t feel the same do you?”

“Elijah-”

“And I’ve just ruined our friendship by admitting my feelings.”

“No Elijah you ha-”

“This was stupid of me. Why would you want to date the guy in the wheelchair? When you can have any number of fully able bodied men at the hospital who could ta-”

“Elijah. Will you stop?!” Casey placed her mug back on the table and grabbed his hands, pulling herself closer to him. He stopped rambling and looked up into her eyes before grinning sheepishly.

“Sorry.” He apologized

“I... I feel something for you.”

“Y-you do?!”

“Yeah. I... just don’t know what it is.”

Elijah looked at their hands briefly before looking back up.

“Would you want to... go on a date?”

“I.... Yeah. I’d like that.” She smiled. Elijah smiled back at her, squeezing her hand lightly and she squeezed back.

“After my shift? I finish at 9:30, maybe we could make a last minute plan to do something?”

“How about I cook for us.”

“Elijah you cooked last night.”

“Not for the whole apartment. Just for us, silly.”

Casey smiled, blushing lightly at her early morning dumbness.

“Oh right. ... Of course.”

“Anything in particular?”

“Nope. You make the choices. I’ll just enjoy the meal, and the company.”

Elijah smiled at her one last time before they hugged and Casey got ready for work, heading out to catch the train across town. She arrived at Edenbrook and strolled up to the diagnostics office, she entered the room as the team was in the middle of a differential.

“Nice for you to finally join us, Dr. Valentine.” Ethan commented with a soft smile

“Sorry, Dr. Ramsey. I was on a train when you paged.”

The team gave her a baffled look before shrugging and getting back to work, filling Casey in. Nothing was going to bring her down. Well... unless something really tragic happened of course. But for now she was going to focus on work and her date with Elijah later that evening.

Later that night she was about to clock out when a nurse came running up to her.

“Dr. Valentine!”

She turned to them, fully alert.

“Sarah? What is it?”

“It’s Dr. Varma. Quick.”

Eyes widening she followed Sarah to where Jackie was leaning against the wall, hyperventilating and sweating profusely.

“Jackie?”

Casey looked on worriedly as Jackie could only spare a quick 1 second glance before looking at the floor again and passing out as she breathlessly said 2 words. “I’m..... fine....” then her world went black, Casey rushing to close the short distance between them before she hit the floor.

“Sarah I need you to find a spare bed asap. I’ll page for help.”

Nodding, Sarah rushed off in search of a free bed, whilst Casey paged Baz and Zaid for help. Within minutes the twin doctors were there as Sarah came back with a bed, stopping it beside Jackie and applying the breaks. Together Baz and Zaid lifted her onto the bed, making sure she was comfortable and covered with a blanket.

“Casey. What happened?” Baz asked

“I don’t know. I was about to clock out, then head off home to get ready for my date tonight. That’s when Sarah ran up to me, informing me something was wrong with Dr. Varma. I arrived on scene seconds later, she seemed to be having a panic attack. All I got from her were the words “I’m fine.” before she passed out.”

“Well clearly, she wasn’t fine!” Zaid snapped.

“Alright bro, calm down please. She isn’t a doctor right now. She’s a patient. We need to treat her as such.”

Zaid wiped his hands over his face with a sigh, knowing his brother was right. He turned to Casey and gave her a tight nod.

“We’ll take it from here. Don’t keep your date waiting. Go.”

Shocked, Casey left the room and the hospital before Zaid could change his mind. She got outside and quickly caught up with Bryce.

“Don’t tell me you actually went to work today.” She chuckled

He turned his head to her and gave a smile. “Of course I did! Not even a broken leg will stop these magic hands from saving lives. Give me a chair and I’m fine.”

Casey laughed brightly beside him as they stopped before parting ways.

“Never change Bryce Lahela. Never change.”

“I don’t plan on it.” He grinned.

Casey grinned back and then they said goodbye to each other and headed home. When she walked inside, Casey smelt something delicious but didn’t dare go to the kitchen and peak, so instead she headed straight to her room grabbing a towel, and getting in the shower instead to wash off the sweat and grime from the days work. After that she felt refreshed, and ready for her date night with Elijah. She opened her closet looking for something to wear, when that feeling settled in. She clutched her stomach and closed her eyes tightly trying to will the butterflies away, but she couldn’t. She was nervous and turning into a sweaty mess. She didn’t want to mess this up. She looked through her dresses, but they all seemed too professional for a date. So she turned to another section, skimming through when she gasped. She smiled at the navy blue jumpsuit with a gold waistbelt. “I forgot I had this.” she muttered to herself as she took it out and off the hanger. This is what she would wear. She put it on, done her hair and makeup then picked out a cute pair of sneakers to pair with the outfit. There was no way her feet would fit back into another pair of heels now. She sat on her bed picking up her phone as it dinged. She smiled when she saw a message from Jackie. Thank goodness she was going to be okay. She typed out a quick reply as a knock sounded on her door. Placing her phone on the bedside table, she opened the door to Elijah who was dressed in a dress shirt and tie, his regular jeans dressing the look down a little but still ensuring he looked somewhat formal. His jaw dropped as he drank in Casey’s appearance. She giggled a little as his eyes roamed her body in a show of adoration.

“Hi.” She smiled

“You’re absolutely gorgeous...”

In the moment of silence that followed, Casey blushed as Elijah continued to stare at her in awe. She cleared her throat briefly then resumed her smile.

“You look very handsome tonight.”

“Yeah... But compared to you... Ahem. Excuse me... Um, dinner’s ready.” He smiled shyly

“After you.” She smiled and followed him to their dining table where he had set up the cutest romantic scene she’d seen in a while.

“Oh! Elijah.. this is...”

“Is it too much?”

“No.” she said shaking her head. “It’s beautiful.”

Elijah grinned and helped Casey into her seat, plates of steaming hot food already at the table. It looked delicious. Chicken fillets, potatoes, vegetable, gravy. It was then Casey realized how hungry she was as her stomach growled loudly, causing a furious blush to spread up her neck and onto her cheeks.

“Uh.. sorry about that. I haven’t really stopped today..” she said shyly, and Elijah chuckled.

“It’s okay.” He reassured and they dug into the meal. After a few bites, Elijah spoke up again. “Is it okay?”

Casey nodded as she swallowed the bite she just took. “I’m not just saying this because we’re on a date. It’s delicious! The flavors are amazing!”

He grinned brightly at her comment and they finished the main dish.

“Dessert?” he asked, taking a sip of wine.

“Did you make some?”

“Of course.”

“Then I’d love some!” Casey smiled and Elijah took their plates to the kitchen and came back with two bowls of dessert, placing Casey’s in front of her first. She gasped when she saw what it was.

“Eli?!”

“Yeah?” he asked with a smile as he put his own bowl on the table.

“You... You remembered?” She said, choking on her emotion. Elijah just smiled with a nod in response, Casey leaning over the table and kissing his cheek making him freeze momentarily before smiling shyly and blushing as they dug into their chocolate cake and cream. The rest of the night went smoothly, conversation flowing freely. They quizzed each other on their medical knowledge during dessert, then moved to the couch where they told each other more about their home lives, and growing up. As the night drew to a close Elijah smiled at Casey.

“I guess I should walk you home.”

“How gentlemanly of you.” Casey grinned as she rose to her feet. Together they made their way to Casey’s room.

“Well...” She smiled, pointing to her bedroom door. “This is me.”

They came to a stop and smiled at each other.

“I had a wonderful time tonight Casey.”

“Me too. You’re a great guy Eli. Would you... want to do this again sometime?”

“Yes! ... I mean, yes. I’d love to do this again.”

Casey smiled brightly, bending down and giving him a kiss on the lips good night.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said softly opening her door.

“Y-yeah. See you tomorrow Case.”

He watched as Casey went into her room and shut the door. He stared at the closed door for a while as he touched his lips, still feeling hers present before smiling to himself.

“Goodnight Casey!” he called through the door, it opened again, and Casey poked her head out.

“Goodnight Elijah.” She replied with a smile then shut her door.

That night Elijah went to bed with a smile on his face, knowing he’d hit the jackpot and was now dating the most beautiful doctor at Edenbrook.

#playchoices #pixelberry studios #choices stories you play #dr elijah greene #elijah greene #pixelberry open heart #open heart fanfictions #open heart elijah #elijah x casey #elijah greene fanfiction

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shanyyhermosoxoxo · 3 years

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My Top 5 Manhwa List

5. Omniscient Readers Viewpoint

Status: On going

Chapters: 52

Reviews:

The first time I read this, it caught my attention. The Chapter 0 was written well. I was writing this after reading chapter 22 and like the others say, at the beginning of the story, it has a slow paced story but the growth of the MC is what I like about these types of manhwas. How to use the knowledge of knowing what will happen is what makes you continue this manhwa. The scenario and art are similar to other dungeon related manhwas but I really have high expectations from this.

Story - 9/10

Art - 10/10

Characters - 9/10

Overall - 9/10

4. The God of High School

Status: On going

Chapters: 509

Reviews:

THIS WEBTOON IS AWESOME!! The plot, art style and the character development is top tier. Characters with great personality, these martial artist, some genuin fighters (Mori Jin) some power borrowers (Daewi Han, Mira Yoo), are some exceptional characters in GOH and the main protagonists. Their will to achieve their goals, their loyalty to their friendship and all the mysteries of their pasts that they in tern did not even know about. They go through ups and the even higher ups while staying true to themselves and they pass your love for them like a batton to each other throughout the story.

Storyline is great, it's funny and always keeping you on your toes. To be honest when I had just started I had no clue to where it was going, I just knew that it was about martial arts... and a lot happened in the manhwa that I cannot comprehend. After reading it, all the details and informations are still processing to me. I thought it was all about MARTIAL ARTS and SCHOOL and stuff but man, it was a roller coaster ride. I‘m sure you’ll be hooked as well. The plot twist is giving me anxiety lmao so yeah, if you like a lot of fighting, great characters and detestable villains then what are you waiting for?? I’m sure it is perfect for you and you’re gonna like it.

Story - 9/10

Art Style - 9/10

Characters 10/10

Overall - 9/10

3. Eleceed

Status: On going

Chapters: 136

Reviews:

I really really love this story so just read it and don't read useless reviews. But I made one anyways lol. Sooo...

I clicked on Eleceed by mistake and I don't regret it at all. The cover picture looked very boring to me but the story is amaziiing. What are you still waiting for? Art will also get better with time and characters. I don't know how this is possible but I love almost every character in this manhwa. Like yeah, first you won't like everyone but there is this thing called character development. I am an avid fan of solo leveling so I made it in top 3 but solo leveling is still higher tho hahaha yes I do have favoritism. The protagonist will also become OP but you can see that he worked hard and well KAYDEN-SAMA (he's proly not japanese but I had to show some respects) is his teacher. Kayden is not the protagonist (sadly) but he's also the OP from the beginning. On the top of that he's very cruel and the tsundere type (which is really popular in the manhwa), haha. In the first chapter, he got seriously hurt by his enemies so he decided to turn into cat and hide. Meanwhile in this time, Jiwoo will find him (this manhwa is full of cat lovers, I love it) and take care of him. That's when they will get to know each other and build their beautiful father-pupil relationship. In next chapters, we will encounter many difficult situations with many different characters but seriously - I LOVE THEM ALL. They will turn into such babies, I swear, you will love them too.

This manhwa made me cry so many times. But not because it was sad. It was sooo funny! I don't normally read comedies but this is a gem. Yeah, so if you liked Solo leveling or The beginning after the End, you will most likely like this too. I feel like this is way too underrated, so let's change it! Let's make it into a well-known manhwa!

Story - 9/10

Art - 10/10

Characters - 10/10

Overall - 10/10

2. The Beginning After the End

Status: Ongoing

Chapters: 101

Reviews:

This manhwa which is about a king being reborn in another world. The protagonist Arthur, short Art(pre-rebirth: King Grey), is learning magic and fighting from a young age and is good at it since he can use his experiences from his former life in swordsmanship and the KI from his previous world is similiar to the mana in the world the story is taking place in. The characters have nice backgrounds that are getting more clear as the story moves on. Also the characters are developing over time. The story is very interesting: Not only is it very exciting but it also has a lot of events that make sense and dont just come out of nowhere like it often happens in such mangas. If u don't read this you will really miss a lot of joy and exitement. I have put this on top 2 because I can? Haha lol jokes aside, I just really really love the storyline so much as it progresses, in recent chapter I just gosh my sail just sailed. I don’t know author-nim is focusing on more action/adventure/isekai genre but no hun, romance is in it as well!

As for negative things about the manga...The art isn't the best. Art's family loves fem heartily, but at times it can come across as a bit too gooey. There is homophobia in chapter 40.

Story - 10/10

Art - 5/10

Characters - 9/10

Overall - 9/10

1. Only I Level Up - Solo Leveling

Status: On going

Chapters: 148

Review: I put this on my top 1 because duh?? The plot/ storyline is top tier, I know this is overrated by some of you but this manhwa is the defenition of a perfect masterpiece.

Well to be honest it is the best manhwa so far that i ever read and i love to know more so please author dont stop this manga for atleast a century and also waiting for when it is going to release its anime version.

Solo Leveling is a manga with the leveling aspect similar to ''the gamer or shield hero'' where we follow the breathtaking journey Sung Jin-Woo who is at the weakest amongst all hunters ''E-Rank'' fighting his way through many life and death experiences and hardships.

Story - 10/10

Art - 10/10

Characters - 10/10

And so.. that’s it!! I just wanna share my experience while reading these Manhwas. I am so glad that I found these masterpieces and so thankful to be born in this era hahaha. Author-nims’ I hope you won’t stop giving and feeding us this type of story. <33

#manhwa #top tier #manhwalist

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slipperyskell · 4 years

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Cicero Headcanons

Yup. It’s time for dirty gremlin jester boi headcanons. Prepare thine bootyholes.

+ Very small lad. 5’ at most, and only 80 pounds when he first gets to Skyrim. He does gain a bit of weight as time goes on and he’s got access to food on a regular basis, but even then, he’s 100 pounds soaking wet. Very small boi.

+ Mid to late thirties, early forties at most. He’s been involved with the Brotherhood most all of his life. Was in the Bruma sanctuary first, and spent most of his twenties there until he was transferred to Cheydinhal. Spent the rest of his twenties and most of his thirties in Cheydinhal, then headed out to Skyrim. Only stayed in the Dawnstar Sanctuary for a couple of months before finally heading to Falkreath.

+ He does like his sweetrolls and carrots in particular, but more as a snack than a staple. He’s actually quite fond of a lot of food, and despite his tiny size, he can and will eat quite a bit! He didn’t have access to much of anything fresh during his time in Cheydinhal, and once he did, he garnered a new appreciation for his fruits and veggies. Hates mushrooms, though. Absolutely despises them if they’re cooked.

+ Is bi/pan, and demisexual. Before he came to Cheydinhal, he kind of took people for granted, in a sense. After contracts he would sometimes spend a bit of his money on some... rewards, shall we say. After everything that happens to him afterwards, however, he is FAR more grateful for good, genuine company. The lad needs a friend, and/or smooches. NSFW happenings aren’t completely off the table, but it takes a LOT of trust and reassurance on his end for him to want to get intimate with someone again. And I mean a lot.

+ He has a lot of tricks up his sleeves. Literally. His outfit is decked out with all sorts of secrets to give him an edge in a fight if he absolutely needs it. Steel toes at the ends of his boots, mini knife compartments also in boots and pretty much everywhere else on his person, knuckles in his gloves, and lots and lots of pockets.

+ Very early riser. When it’s the designated day of the week for oiling mother, he wakes up as early as five in the morning. It’s a very time consuming process, and he likes to get it out of the way as soon as he can so he has time to do other things. Otherwise, he may sleep in till seven at the latest. That being said, if he is sharing his bed with someone, he’s incredibly careful to not wake them, and once he’s done and all cleaned up, he comes back to wake them for the day.

+ Before getting a bit more settled in Skyrim (kind of Falkreath, but more Dawnstar, should he be spared during the Cure for Madness), he had issues with not taking care of himself properly due to issues with disassociation caused by his time in Cheydinhal. Didn’t bathe regularly, didn’t eat regularly. It isn’t until he’s among the company of his family (and was likely fed up with getting shit talked, if I’m going to be honest) that he makes a bit more of an effort to care for himself. Having someone as kind and caring as the listener certainly helps, however.

+ He had some pretty greasy ass hair before he started bathing properly again (the hair we see him with in-game). Once it’s all nice and clean and brushed out, though? Floof. Big ol floofy mane of copper hair.

+ He’s very, very well read on the history of the Dark Brotherhood. Quite the fan of Lucien Lachance, funnily enough. (I’ll get into some headcanons about these two nerds in the future if anyone is interested).

+ Him switching to third person is a very telling sign if he’s having anxiety issues or is otherwise upset. People with mental problems similar to him often switch to third person as a way to comfort themselves. It allows them to disassociate a bit, to make it feel like whatever is happening to them isn’t actually happening to them.

+ That being said, Cicero’s madness is likely comprised of survivor’s guilt (kind of a given), PTSD, and potential issues with bipolar and/or multiple personality disorder. He can certainly be helped, and his past isolation is largely to blame and can assumably be combated against, but it will always leave a mark on his psyche.

+ His laughter can be used as a nervous tic. Not all the time, but sometimes.

+ Speaking of tics and stims, this lad. This boy right here. He jiggle he leggy. He taps his fingers on the table, or his thighs, or wherever his hands may be. Has a habit of feeling at his face whenever he’s thinking, and sometimes picks at it if he’s feeling really anxious. He can’t keep still to save his soul.

+ Has an odd but fitting habit of keeping everything very neat and tidy. During his time in Cheydinhal, he didn’t really have anything else to do when he wasn’t tending to mother, so he spent a lot of his time making everything spic and span, despite him being the only person living there. The place was found almost unnaturally clean when he left. And just like that, in Falkreath (and especially Dawnstar, as he prides that place as HIS sanctuary), he keeps everything very nice and clean to keep himself busy when he isn’t tending to mother.

+ Actually a way better singer than he lets on. A lot of the time, when he “sings”, he’s just screwing around, but when he actually tries? Surprisingly good.

+ When he and the Listener are traveling together, he likes doing a lot of riddles and stuff to keep both himself and his dear listener entertained. Makes I Spy With My Little Eye actually fun.

+ Speaking of him and his relations with the Listener... this lad? This tiny boio right here? Absolutely provides contract advice, as well as leadership advice should they need it (and chances are, they will). When he first brings up such things, he’s uncertain. A bit anxious, worried they may take offense to him providing such a thing despite his experience. But with enough encouragement, he breaks out of his shell and provides his thoughts much more regularly. This lad craves validation, especially when it comes to things like this. He’s very... creative.

+ Very, very appreciative of the outdoors when he comes to Skyrim. He gets cold hella easy, sure, and he hates being cold, but to see the sun again? To see the light glimmering off a lake or river? To see grass and tree branches bending in a gentle breeze? To feel rain on his face, and see lightning flash across the sky and thunder rumbling after it? To see the aurora borealis Skyrim’s night sky so readily offers? He would trade anything in the world to see it again.

+ Fascinated by all things shouts and dragons. He’s like the only person I know who actually comments positively on the Dragonborn shouting.

“For someone known as the Listener, you do an awful lot of shouting!”

“Oh! Hahaha! What a fun trick! Teach me, teach me!”

He never new dragons had actually existed until Skyrim, and while he is respectful of their power and rather wary of them, he still finds them immensely fascinating.

+ That being said, the whole notion of dragons coming back to life, along with the civil war breaking out among Skyrim’s people, really does set him on edge. He’s seen and known enough war, and prospect of even MAYBE having to deal with more stresses him out.

+ He needs to have some form of background noise when he sleeps. Otherwise it gets far too quiet, and it makes him very anxious.

+ As I had stated in a previous artwork post of mine, if he’s in the sanctuary and the listener is away, he spends a lot of his time in the torture chamber if he’s got nothing else to do. While he’s no longer able to fulfill his own contracts, it doesn’t mean he’s entirely forbidden to kill. Besides, he’s got lots of time and subjects, willing or not, to test out all sorts of wonderful, twisted little ideas on. More than likely excitedly shows the Listener what he’s been up to while they were gone.

+ Very heavy drinker. Has had to cope with a ton of shit, and while he knows, deep down, it’s not the right way to deal with things... no one really wanted to talk to him. Hear about his problems. He could rant to mother all he wanted, sure, but... it just wasn’t the same. That’s not to say mother doesn’t care; without a doubt, she does, but for him, not having any kind of response makes it all the more frustrating.

+ That being said, his go-to drink is usually wine. And he tends to get very moody on wine. Be careful. You might get an earful.

Aight folks, this is about all I have on general/main Cicero headcanons. If y’all want me to do more on specific things, like romance, NSFW happenings, or interactions between him and certain canon characters (or my own, if/when I get to introducing them properly here), y’all lemme know. I hope you enjoy! :D

#cicero #cicero skyrim #skyrim cicero #fool of hearts #cicero jester #jester cicero #the dark brotherhood #lucien lachance #cicero headcanon time #skyrim #the elder scrolls

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