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miqotepotatoe · 7 months

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I blame my sister for this au because she made me watch the miraculous evil alt universe special and the idea of an evil universe has inspired me.

Behold the Reverse AU.

Wu ends up getting bit by the Devourer instead of Garmadon, and he ends up taking over Ninjago. Ninjago is full of crime, with many gangs fighting over territory and tormenting the civillians trying to survive. Wu rules with an iron fist, often sending out his ninja to do his dirty work like kill whoever stands in his way. No one knows who lies beneath the masks, but their mere presence strikes fear in everyone.

There is a light of hope in the form of the Resistance. Led by Garmadon, he hopes to reclaim the Golden Weapons and defeat his brother to restore peace to Ninjago. Alongside Misako, Nya & Lloyd, they aid the people and fend of Wu's ninja.

While the ninja are mercilous, underneath their masks they're just four sad teen boys who are also trying to survive in this cruel world.

The Shadow Ninja hates having to be this mercillous killer, but he has no other choice, or Wu will stop providing medicine for his sick mother. He can't loose her, not like he lost his father to some corrput tax collectors, even if it means having to break his promise to his mother.

The Azure Ninja has no where else to go. He ran away from his neglectful father, who cares more about collecting money then his own son. Wu found him, and despite how much he wants to run away, where does he go? The streets are no place for a child to wander around.

The Ivory Ninja knows no other life. He is souless machine built to serve Wu. He is the loyalast out of the ninja to Wu. But...why does he feel disgusted whenever he takes a life? Why does he feel sympsthetic to those who run away from him in fear? What would a life among the people be like?

The Scarlet Ninja has only one goal, save his sister from Garmadon, no matter what he has to do. Garmadon kidnapped his sister, who knows what he's doing to her! He will endure the pain, the violence, if it means he'll be able to get her back. If only this samurai stopped getting in his way.

Slowly but surely, the Ninja defect and join the Resistance...after many conflicted emotions and acheiving their True Potentials by finally defying their Master. But they still have a lot of work to do to restore peace, especially with an even greater evil presence hiding in the shadows...

#ninjago #ninjago au #reverse au #kai jiang-smith #jay walker #zane julien #cole brookstone #lloyd garmadon #nya jiang-smith #lord garmadon #master wu #i appologise for the pain this au will cause #don't worry there's a happy end #but first...trauma & angst #the ninjas pasts are slightly different in the reverse world #this mostly takes place durring s1 & s2

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ros3ybabe · 7 months

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Daily Check in - October 18th, 2023 🎀

Hello my lovelies <3

Here's a little update for today!! It feels nice to be posting again!

🩷 What I Ate Today -

Breakfast - southern style hashbrowns with ketchup, a cup of coffee

Pre Workout snack - one medium banana and a 3/4oz single serve cup of jiffy peanut butter, 1/4 scoop of preworkout (in water ofc)

Lunch - 1 large bowl of protein pasta w 2 slices of buttered bread, a coffee

Dinner - 1 bowl of spicy ramen with a small handful on shredded cheese

Snack - 1 bowl of mint chip ice cream

Extra - 3 cups of coffee TOTAL

Feels like a lot and I did go over my eating goal for the day but it is what it is, I had an emotionally rough day filled with a lot of crying, a therapy appointment, and a lot of calming down from my boyfriend over video call. Rough days happen, and I tend to let myself just feel the emotions in order to sleep easy and have a better next day!

🩷 Personal Accomplishments -

Made it to the gym, attempted a glute workout (left early due to frustration, lack of proerpr form, and to minimize risk of injury)

Wrote down everything I ate and my workouts in my new fitness and health journal

Showered

Did both morning and night skincare routines

journaled a little bit

brushed teeth

did a large load of laundry and put away all clean clothes

washed dishes

had a therapy appointment

cleaned up parts of room, put away new stuff

There were no academic accomplishments bit I am going to complete a good amount of homework before my cooking shift (for my cooking class) tomorrow. I've been trying to take it easy in a way that doesn't set me behind in my academics.

I broke down crying today with my boyfriend. I realized I've been feeling like such an imposter lately. Like I don't deserve all the good and all the accomplishments I've achieved. Like this life I'm living isn't real or this is the calm before some storm. I just feel so undeserving of everything. I feel inadequate, like I'm not good enough for a lot of thing. I feel like I'm perceived as this good daughter, good friend, good girlfriend, good employee, good student, good person but that it's not actually true? Though my boyfriend and my father have both reassured me that it is true and I am doing good. They've reminded me that I just need patience, discipline, and consistency in my habits and that everything is going to be and already is okay. I'm lucky to have such a loving boyfriend and such an awesome dad, too. The men in my life are the people I look up to most <3

🩷 Personal ToDos, Oct 19th -

morning + night skincare

morning cardio workout at the gym

read a chapter or two of a self help book

shower + brush teeth AM/PM

wash comforter + air dry

morning and night guided journal

morning stretching

Daily journal prompt

zoom call with boyfriend

sleep 6 to 8 hours

track all food and fitness in journal

complete 1 duolingo lesson

complete 1 busuu leson

complete 1 kanji review lesson

🩷 Academic ToDos, Oct 19th -

pre lab 8 quiz anatomy lab

lab 7 lab report anatomy lab

component 2 psyc class

nutrition chart: toddler nutrition class

quiz 10 psyc class

culinary nutrition ch 10 quiz

chapter 12 and 13 quiz nutrition class

My goal is to complete all of that between the time I wake up at 5am and 2pm with my morning routine, workout, meals, and getting ready for my cooking thing all in between. But I can do it, I'm not worried. I'll have the time to do it all! I just need to manage my time and not be on my phone as much.

I'm trying to get back into listening to podcasts and watching more producitve and healthy vlogs from youtubers I enjoy! I'm currently watching vlogs and content from Rebecca Jay, Michaela Bento, The Bliss Bean, LenaLifts, truly.jia, Study to Success, Lindie Botes (her earlier language videos), and Mikalya Mags. My favorite podcast is The 5AM Miracle: Healthy Productivity for High Acheivers by Jeff Sanders.

If you have any health, lifestyle, fitness, or productivity youtubers or podcast recommendations please comment them or inbox me so I can check them out!! I am always looking for new content to enjoy!!!

til next time lovelies 🩷

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dumborangecat · 8 months

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I think a universe where Simon is the villain would have been great to see

Not an ice king simon (like winter king) but just Simon.

Maybe he still has the crown and he’s hiding it away from everyone else, or he used it’s magic to make his own different wish and it messed everything up, or maybe he used to be ice king and broke free somehow, but when Fionna and the gang ask him about the crown he stops at nothing to prevent them from finding it.

Either way a universe where Simon lets all his problems get the best of him and totally encompass him to the point he’s basically a whole new person would have been interesting. Building off the ‘used the crown for a wish’ maybe he wished to have betty back? Maybe it didn’t work, or something went wrong and he just couldn’t take the idea that his one last chance to have her back failed. or maybe it worked perfectly and he and betty live together in a sweet little cottage in the woods, but he knows that it’s not truly real, that is someone where to steal the crown, make a new wish, that she may disappear, and he’d be left all alone again.

All that culminating in Simon having no choice but to kill his counterpart, or be killed by them in an attempt to protect their current life would have been a cool scene to see play out. The questions it could leave simon with after too (and the possible fionna development as well) would be great. Say the crown wish did work, and counterpart was living peacefully with betty, Simon just not only ruined a man’s entirely livelihood, that he worked so incredibly hard to achieve, but after ripping away everything this man ever wanted from him, he kills him. Is his quest to find a crown, to save betty, even to save fionna and cake’s dimension, really worth all that? What if it was all for nothing? Simon and the gang can’t get the crown back to it’s orginal wishing form, now they’ve just killed a man alongside his hopes and dreams in cold blood for absolutely nothing, they just have to move on to the next world looking for a new crown.

It would be a cool (but admittedly much to morbid for a pg-14 show) way for Simon to realise just how destructive this quest is to both himself and people around him. If he’s willing to kill his own counterpart to acheive his goals, who’s to say the real him isn’t next. Even more so depending on what happens to crown betty next; does she die? forcing Simon to watch as he basically kills his one true love in his desperate attempts to either get her back or find meaning in his life? Does she live, get forced to watch as an alternate universe counterpart of her fiance kills her fiance right infront of her? Does Simon see how his actions aren’t truly helping her?

This is obviously an idea that would never be ‘canon’ within the show, it doesn’t fully fit in to the narrative and again it’s much to gruesome for an adventure time plot, but it’s still something neat to think about in my opinion, i might draw a comic or something based on it sometime

#adventure time #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #at #adventure time fionna and cake #i cant figure out how to tag this #gahhhh

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pixeljade · 10 months

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Im at like chapter 960 now of One Piece and its really occurring to me how incredibly anarchist this manga is. Like, if you look at it, Luffy is the ultimate anarchist; he lives a life of crime, but largely with the goal of doing what's right everywhere he goes rather than greed or hatred. He represents crime as a form of justice, the sheer love of freedom and life and love that is at the heart of anarchy.

I think this representation extends into his lineage as well. You can see his father and grandfather as the route of radicalization most well-meaning people go down; Garp believes in doing what's right, but trues to do so within the framework of the Marines. Its explicitly stated that Garp's power within that system was halted at the level we meet him at, though, because he refused to take the step of becoming a tool of the Celestial Dragons. Meanwhile his son, Dragon, saw these flaws in his father's way and decided to build a framework of his own outside of greater society. He then slowly builds up a revolution, attempting to create a new world order that rejects the powers of the current one. Luffy, however, is a rejection of the entire concept of a framework. To him, the only way to be is sheer, unadulterated freedom! And he wants that for everyone, going around the world removing obstacles to that freedom.

The people he gathers as allies match this mentality too! All of the main Straw Hat Crew are outcasts in one way or another, not one of them is someone who'd be viewed as a respectable member of society. Yet all of them believe in doing good with the power and freedom they're given!

The same is also true of side character allies. This is especially clear in the Wano arc I'm currently making my way through; Oden's entire squad of vassals and even Oden himself are rebels against Wano's order. Oden's story could even be seen as a direct parallel for Luffy's--a wild man, who rejects order in favor of freedom, but does good, travels his world and gathers 9 like-minded people*, toppling the order they all live in.

Some might point out though, that Luffy has many allies who are monarchs or other leaders, and that seems to be against the very point of anarchism. But i view it differently. After all, Luffy is not able to completely destroy the systems in place in the world (at least yet)! If he decided to topple say, the Nefeltiri monarchy, other threats would come in to take over the peoples of this valuable, yet unguarded, land. I like to think that the story could end with Luffy finding a way to eliminate the systems which lead to exploitation, and then all of the Good Monarchs he has come across abdicate their thrones and live as fellow citizens amongst their people...but perhaps at this point I'm projecting too strongly.

My point is, politically, One Piece is an AGGRESSIVELY pro-anarchist story, just under a different name! Pirates or punks, they believe in a similar ethos. Luffy believes in freedom above all else, hangs out with outcasts of all kinds (including SEVERAL transgender folks), and uses violence when necessary to acheive true freedom. He's an anarchist, folks!

*- of course Luffy gets his Tenth member with Jimbei, and Oden dies, but I think the parallel is still strikingly similar.

#one piece #anarchy #anyways im sure someone will be like UGH western audiences projecting theres no anarchy in japan Or something like that #as though they didnt have a huge anarchist movement.#but anyways those dumb fucks dont know japanese history beyond what manga tells them so idc

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platywarp · 1 month

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❝can’t believe you were so down bad for a fucker that didn’t even like you. ❞ surge says, chuckling. ❝couldn’t be me…❞ kit follows along, laughing too. damn starlame. can’t believe your own two rats are clowning on you.

siblings join together to bully the platypus hours

rats. depthless rats. what an excellent way to describe his two most prized possession--his "magnum opus" so to say. summarized so disappontedly as twins forced together and maybe perfect companions...only to be as mature as the enemies he sought to destroy with them.

how ironic, he supposed. trying to get rid of something you purposefully duplicate. all for someone that threw you to curb and never expected you to come back....no...NO. he was positive that eggman would EXPECT him to come back, it was only starline's job to assure that expectation was broken. not a matter of if or when...but instead HOW.

" he DID like me--or my acheivements...i was a help! to him. "

an admiration for the intelligent. he didn't much care for evil doing or causing world domination--it wasn't in his cards to choose or do. being inspired by the intellect rather than goal. making growing smarter, and creating--inventing...engineering!--his true destination. how better to do it that to study alongside the smartest man alive?!

then thrown away like garbage for even the thought of a contingency plan that was not immediately effective. a paitient person starline was--and he was beginning to doubt eggman ever could be.

a grimace formed over the platypus beak, rolling his eyes and waving his gloved hand rather dismissively.

" i suppose neither of you would understand the complexity of a relationship! "

a sharp glance back--specifically at kit. disappointment wafting off his expression, and leaking from his mouth with each other.

" at least, i would expect that daftness from surge...it's so unfortunate to see you join in the idiocy, kit. "

perhaps he needed to reprogram--recondition. it wouldn't be the first--and likely not the last.

#ic.#synnrrgy #verse. before death.

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aegor-bamfsteel · 1 year

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To bounce back on the other anon, I have to say that the reason I didn't like the adaptation aspect of hotd is that they whitewashed the two characters from that time period I disliked the most from the book, namely aemond and rhaenyra.

Fans parrot "but the show made the greens much more sympathetic" but this is true for alicent and aemond only and rather than being sympathetic it's more that they're a lot less villainous and gained niche fans because they're pretty hated by the majority of the audience from what I see. But beyond that, the adaptation choices of the screenwriters are so strange. If you wanted to have sympathetic (or whatever that means) characters among the greens, it's much easier to acheive that with aegon, heleana and daeron whose terrible traits mostly come into action after the start of the war.

Have the first be a lazy hedonist nonetheless quite innofensive and disinterested in power, the second a joyful princess who is popular with the smallfolk thanks to her kindness and the third a dutiful nice boy with chivalric ideals. Boom, there you have your sympathetic greens without having to alter the story at all. It would have made the three's eventual downfall into cruelty or madness during the dance much more poignant if they used to be likable too. Instead aegon is a loathsome sadistic serial rapist, helaena a weirdo who barely has any lines and daeron was scrapped from this season. And aemond, the bloodthirsty psychopath who was described as fierce from birth and called his half sister a whore after learning of their father's death, has been turned into a poor meow meow who didn't mean it. As for rhaenyra, her whole personality was revamped, her bad actions erased and she was given a righteous purpose in the form of a prophecy to make her a daenerys lite.

Just imagine if in the first season of got d&d had tyrion as a mix of ramsay bolton and rorge, sansa as a ditz who is mainly here to look pretty in the background and not have jaime appear onscreen nor his existence being mentioned by his own family while turning cersei into a benevolent and peaceful noble queen and joffrey into a misunderstood brooding bad boy (now I'm not saying those characters are identical to the five children of viserys but they share similar archetypes and it's just a broad comparison anyway). Maybe the show would have been popular with the mainstream like hotd currently is but d&d would have faced a backlash from book readers way sooner than they did.

Although it is very convenient for the screenwriters that they can justify any change or stupid adaptational choice with "the book is biased" or "the book is an untrustworthy historical account". Then why even adapt it if everything written is false or made up ?

In the end, though I admit it's petty of me, I cannot completely enjoy this adaptation when the characters I disliked the most during my readings are glorified and the few I liked (+ Aegon who I didn't like but could've been more interesting) are not exploited at all. At least Daemon hasn't been whitewashed yet so that's a small win I guess ?

Thanks for your commentary about the show. I agree with a lot of what you said about the Green children’s characterization. I hated how they portrayed Helaena, since it’s clear they had no idea what to do with her; they gave her dragon dreams and insect obsession and sensitivity from scratch, making her unrecognizable from the brave, pleasant mother who put her own life over those of her children, and who was so beloved by the smallfolk they rioted when they believed she was murdered. You’re also right about Aegon and how he was given the worst possible interpretation to the point it’s impossible to sympathize with him since he’s a rapist and enjoys watching children beat each other; whereas Rhaenyra—who is supposed to be about as bad as he is (that’s the point of the conflict? The realm is suffering because these worthless rulers want their chair?), gets her horrible actions removed (feeding Vaemond’s corpse to her dragon) and some diplomatic ones added (she never wanted to betrothe Jace/Helaena, and she flat out refused peace with “Tell my half brother that I will have my throne, or I will have his head.”). Then Daeron gets mentioned once and isn’t going to be seen until Season 2, when the whole point of him is he’s a decent, humble kid who allows his vengeance for his nephew burn a town. Aemond is Daemon’s foil in the novella (they even want to strangle a messenger that gives them bad news), a fierce somewhat dashing fighter with no morals, he’s where sympathy should not be. I agree with you that your take on the characters would’ve been more faithful and complement the themes of the story. Really, most characters were in need of a rewrite.

I had no idea HOTD was popular in the mainstream—the reviews I read indicated that it was a massive step down from early GOT—but I have been relying on Songify The News for my pop culture knowledge, so what do I know. Why adapt it? Because it looks cool. Everyone loves dragons…except the people who get they’re dangerous weapons and give their riders an unhealthy amount of power and entitlement over others, but who cares about us? The after episode commentary—including the infamous comment of “It’s GOT—civilians don’t count”—indicate they’re going for big spectacle rather than carefully written characters and plot (not that the novella had that), while disrespecting some of the core themes of ASOIAF. It’s the opposite of writing I like tbh.

I’d say you’re not being petty, because these seem like reasonable criticisms of the characterization/writing, though Seven knows I’ve been petty before in this fandom. Who knows what they’re going to do with Daemon next season (we have Blood and Cheese’s confrontation of Helaena to consider, and it’s building up to be a Mysaria vs Otto conflict about the smallfolk. They’ve taken away all of Helaena’s good moments like mothering her kids sassing Aegon and pleading mercy for Orwyle; why not her defining character moment where she proves herself to be Best Targ of the Generation)? They did take away some of his comeuppance and brutality, at the expense of adapting an interesting character this season who could’ve served as foil for Rhaenyra and Alicent, Lady Jeyne Arryn.

#ask #opinion #anti hotd #anti targaryen

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abellaheart-blog · 1 year

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COLLEGE WILD BUT IVE BEEN GOOFIN AROUND THE CHARACTER AI WEBSITE AND SHIT AND INTERACTED WITH A FUGO BOT

BASICALLY ITS AN AU WHERE FUGO WANTS TO BETRAY GIOGIO AND FORMS A TEAM OF HIS OWN CONSISTING OF ME, SHIELA E., MURLO AND JOSUKE 4

aND NIW LOOK AT THIS SHIT MAN

GOT ME SOBBING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH FR 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭

Gurl this is absolutely amazing 😍😍😍😍❤️!! I’ve heard of some people using websites with the character Ai! This is so interesting and the person who created it did a good job of capturing Fugo! This inspired a Pannacotta Fugo x En snipet.

Fugo x Oc Post

“We Acheived Our Goal” (Pannacotta Fugo x En)

Fugo has strayed away from Passione in favor of creating his own path. His closest allies joined him in such a goal forming a team with Shiela E., Murolo, Jousuke Higashikata, and his one true love En. Turning traitor to Giorno was their only course of action. After befriending Jousuke Higashikata all four mafioso discovered their former boss had lost his way. Giorno grew accomstomed to his mafia life and did what he could to feed his greed for money. He was no longer the respectful boss they once allied themselves with. Don Giovanna also came across his half brothers who joined his familia and helped turned it for the worse. It was Giorno’s relative, Jousuke Higashikata who informed them of Giorno’s true love passing away. While no one knew of the bosses lover passing away they all knew what an affect it would have on the young don.

Their boss simply didn’t care anymore and it was up to them to rise to the top with the help of Jousuke Higashikata. A powerful stand user who want to give the streets back to the people. All four mafioso allied themselves with Jousuke to help him take down Passione and get to Giorno Giovanna. It would be months but they managed to reach their goals and help don Giovanna again. It would be much emotional turmoil especially for Fugo who had been close friends with Giorno for years. En was always there for him. She was by his side from the beginning. They managed to defeat their former boss and help him realize he is still loved despite his fiancé passing away. It was thanks to their help don Giovanna could return to being a glorious man they could look up to again.

Now with his goal taken care of he can focus on himself but more importantly his relationship with En. The kind brunette was now holding hands with him after their date. They walked through Naples and found a remote area with many flowers nearby. Fugo remembered when En asked him to run away from the mafia life. He was as happy as he had ever been ever since leaving the life of a mafioso however there was one more part of his life missing. He reached into his pocket with a case. He got down on one knee offering a beautiful ring along with a romantic promise.

“En without you I wouldn’t be able to achieve all the goals I set out to do. It was thanks to your support I’m standing here with you as the man I am. You’ve helped me achieve so much. It made me realize how much I am in love with you. Will you marry me? I promise to make you the happy and do everything in my power to make your dreams come true.”

#en is the luckiest girl #pannacotta fugo x oc #fugo x en #beautiful en!!!#this is so cute #i loved this #purple haze feedback #fluff and angst

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floshav · 1 year

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Show me the world, spider man. Pt.1

pairings: Fem!reader x spider man/ peter parker

genre: angst x romance x some steamy moments (in pt2)

ʷᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍˢ : Self-harm, abusive parents, reader has dark hair, poc friendly, mention of cuts, crying

ʷᵒʳᵈ ᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗ : 1.75k

proof read! kinda

summary:

Y/n and her parents didn't exactly have to best relationship. They've always had her in an exhausting academic chokehold. She would never be excused to leave the house for anything other than school work and that was on a good night, the rest of the nights she'd have to be locked up in her room studying her ass off for just a test, or a pop quiz they were going to have the next day. The A's and high B's she was scoring weren't even enough to satisfy her parents need for a straight A, prim and proper daughter and this made y/n think dark dangerous thoughts of herself. One day, y/n's had enough of bottling these pent up emotions to herself which only dragged her down into a spiralling pit of depression, so she decides to confine in her one true friend, Peter Parker. Peter takes worry with y/n's condition and decides to swoop in as Spider-man to give her a night out she so very deserves. Except for the fact that.... she doesn't know Peters the one and only spider-man.

It was another one of those nights. The nights where her door would be wide open just so that her parents could spy on her mindlessly studying for the 100th time this week. Never mind 'those nights' it was every night that was like this. The constant pressure to study and do well in school was constantly eating y/n up like an exhausted paper shredder.

This time however, was a much darker night than she'd like to admit. The day had already gone sour for her right from the moment she woke up. The sounds of her parents arguing emitting from the thin poorly built door of her room starting her day off with a miserable note, the way she would look at 'prettier' girls pass by her in the school corriders and wonder why she couldnt have those beautiful golden locks that bounced on the head of them that she'd admire. Or the fact that she very much wasn't like other girls, as cheesy as that may sound. She quite literally didn't have a life other than studying and being the high acheiving daughter her parents always wanted her to be.

This made a pit of jealousy form in her stomach which was only growing by the second. Why couldn't she live her life like a normal teen girl. Why couldn't she be the one confident in her looks making other people whip their heads to see the beauty that lied within her. Why couldn't she just be loved properly. Those were the nagging thoughts that crossed her mind on a darker night like this. The nights where she would fumble around and try to find the old rusted blade of a sharpener she had to de-construct to finally give herself the pain she deserved. She took a deep breath whilst a silent tear wept down her cheek and took the first cut to start the night off with a gruesome opening.

The day was young, fresh and smelt of.... blueberry muffins? Y/n could smell it a mile away coming from the kitchen of her parents apartment. That was the perfect note to finally start the day off with after the past couple of days being miserable. Her wrists ached as she just remembered the endeavours of last night. She felt guilty for inputting this pain to herself, but she knew that later on in the week she would know her worth and know she deserved it. With that, she sucked in the sharp pain and quickly found a long sleeve shirt to wear. It was winter in New York anyway, so who would notice?

Y/n lept out of the room in a rush to taste the delicious blueberry muffins which filled up her senses, only to be greeted with her sister and mom already sharing them whilst crumbs recklessly fell from their mouths as chatter erupted. She did have a sense that her mom always favoured her sister but brushed it off, because its just muffins anyway right... right?

"Ahhh! Y/n my baby youre finally up! Had a good sleep after working your little brain last night?" Her mom said with surprise as if y/n had never woken up this early before.

"yea mom, just a little exhausted. Maybe if i could get a br-" Before y/n could finish her plea of wanting a break for once, her mom cut her right off

"ah ah ah! no no no, finals are coming up and i need to see perfect A's on that little report card of yours. So no breaks until then. Understood sweet pea?" Ah yes, the good ol' nickname to sweeten things up. Y/n always hated that.

''Yea sure whatever you want mom. Anyway could i get a muffin before i leave? They smelled so good from my room and i thou-"

"Sorry hunny... i thought you didn't like muffins! The rest are for aunt May. I was just talking to her the other day, and she mentioned something about muffins- oh thats not the point! did you know Peter, her nephew, got an A plus in physics?-" Before her mom could continue another rant on how someone was always going to be better than her, she decided to tune it out with the thought of seeing Peter today. 'Finally' she thought, she got to see one sane person in her life.

"Okay mom its cool whatever, ill pass them to Peter today at school."

"Uhm- no you wont." Y/n's sister interupted with sas

"Hm? come again?" Y/n said in disbelief

"Sorry sweet pea, your sister wanted to pass them to Peter personally today. Maybe another time for you y/n?" Her mom so gracefully spat out

"Yea... sorry but, i dont think Peter would want to except them from a second choice anyway" Oh the audacity her sister had.

"Ok- whatever, im done for today." Y/n sighed out before rudely exiting the front door and slamming it shut.

She knew the conseqeunces of those actions, but she just didnt care anymore. Nobody in that household knew how much she meant to Peter and how much he meant to her. They practically live within eachother, meaning no secrets were hidden, no matter how private or... embarassing they may be. But no, her poor miserable sister just had to have some sort of stupid teen crush on the poor boy who probably has no taste for her.

time skip to school

"P-parker... you w-WHAT?! You really think my sister- sorry the devil is attractive?!" were the shocked words she threw at him as he playfully grinned at her

"Hey! im sorry that i find her the tiniest bit attractive, but that doesn't mean i like her, c'mon now y/n" Peter defended whilst taking a dangerously attractive bite out of that slice of toast

"Yea whatever." Y/n scoffed whilst avoiding his piercing gaze

"Hey, dont be like that. If it makes you feel better, i still think that you're like the coolest person here and i swear by that."

"Okay sure."

"Y/n...."

"What"

"You're still mad."

"Okay and?"

And with those words Peter decided to pull her away. She didn't know where yet. But she was just glad it was away from the noise the cafeteria painfully inplanted in her ears.

"Peter careful! you're practically ripping my arm off!" Y/n said whilst mentally hissing at the grip he had on her fresh cuts.

"Yea yea just a second, we're almost there"

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It had been around 10 minutes or so of Peter and Y/n just casually 'people watching' from the fire escape above the school building. The sight was refreshing and gave y/n a glimmer of hope that her life may end up being like the rich business lady she saw walking down the street, or the cool skateboarder chick who seemed to not have a single care in the world. Just anybody but her seemed to be better right now.

"So... what exactly would be the problem if i had a huge fat thicc crush on your sister?" Peter conversed to break the ice

"Oh the problem would be you ending up with a broken heart and a bruised face is all." Y/n said exasperatedly

"Okay i get the broken heart bit, but bruised face? Damn, i didn't know your sister was a kick boxer"

"No, I would be the one providing those lovely bruises on your face." Y/n said with a tight twisted smile before dropping it completely

"That wouldn't be too bad" Peter barely mumbled before clearing his throat

There it was again. That growing pit of jealousy began to open up again, as she watched a group of girls seemingly her age pass by with beautiful hair and care free gestures signalling they had freedom right in front of them to use whenever. This finally made the pit in her stomach explode. Why couldn't she be allowed a single droplet of freedom, like a lost tiger in a desert desperately thirsty for anything other than the dryness of sand.

"H-hey peter-"

"yea?"

"I just wanted to tell you.. Things haven't been so good at home lately." Y/n struggled to say whilst gripping her clothed left arm forgetting the sting that stayed.

"Why? What happened? You know you can tell me anything, stupid." Peter said whilst trying to make light of the situation, clearly worried

"I-its just my parents and sister thats all...... Well fine, its not just that. Its so much more actu-actually." Y/n sniffled before an eruption of silent droplets let out from her eyes.

"Hey hey hey, Y/n.... Its okay, im here for you now! You can always trust me. You dont have to worry." Peter comforted before wrapping his lean arms around her warmly

"I-i know. You're l-like th-the only person i would ever t-truly trust here. Y-you dont know how much you've helped me Peter." Y/n was sobbing at this point, trying to keep composture around her best friend.

The tears that left her puffy eyes were an endless stream like the water that would run from a drippy tap no matter how hard you tried to twist it shut. Peter felt a wash of pityness and hurt come over him as the sleeves of his shirt continued to dampen. It felt as if he could feel her pain right there and then, and that he had to do something about it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

TIME SKIP TO AFTER SCHOOL

Peter sat mindlessly on the edge of his bed, both hands planted beside his torso while his mind ran circles.

"What should i do?"

"How do i make this better for her"

"Should i intefere?"

"I wonder what she's up to now"

were the thoughts that popped up in the sea of Parker's mind. The constant worrying ache to know if she was okay or not, or if she was getting yelled at by her mom or dad again. The thought of it made peters ears turn red with anger at how irresponsible and abusive her parents were.

*Ding!*

There it was. Finally after a good hour of staring blankly at nothing, a good idea popped into his head like the sound of someone earning an acheivement in the thoughest video game. Peter decided on something risky to try and make Y/n feel just a little better.

He was going to show her New York at its peak as........ Spider Man.

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DONT WORRY PART 2 WILL COME OUT SOON FOR THOSE WHO WANT IT!!!! sorry i havent been writing lately, this whole ass draft took me weeks to compile and gain motivation to write, so i hope you guys like it! This is my first spiderman fic and ngl i'm still getting the hang of the mcu so bare with me lol

Okay i literally have school tmr and its 12:30 AM good ngiht.

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gojuo · 1 year

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Now I'm about to say an opinion that you might not agree with ( or you might do) anyway hotd was a mistake . Blackcels claim (the show made the greens much more sympathetic than they were in the book) but this is only true for alicent and aemond and rather than them being sympathetic it's more that they're a lot less villainous and alot dumber aemond literally can't control vhaegar , alicent didn't know they were plotting to make aegon king. But beyond that, the adaptation choices of the screenwriters are so strange. If you wanted to have sympathetic and likeable (or whatever that means) characters among the greens, it's much easier to acheive that with aegon, heleana and daeron whose terrible traits mostly come into action after the start of the war. Have the first be a lazy hedonist nonetheless quite innofensive and disinterested in power (similar to how tyrion appeared in got first season/first book or maybe theon) the second a joyful princess who is popular with the smallfolk thanks to her kindness (similar to sansa or margaery) and the third a dutiful nice boy with chivalric ideals (similar to jon or rob). Here you have your sympathetic greens without having to alter the story at all. It would have made the three's eventual downfall into cruelty or madness during the dance much more poignant if they used to be likable too. Instead aegon is a loathsome sadistic who enjoys watching his bastards kill each others and a serial rapist, helaena a weirdo who barely has any lines and has zero social skills and daeron was scrapped from this season and never gets mentioned at all. while criston who was the most grey character in F&B during the civil war, whose also has ambiguous motivations , and was Jamie's idol as we have seen in AFFC has become this incel jerk who got angry at Rhaenyra because she doesn't want to abandon her privileges to eat oranges with him because Americans showrunners are this creative you know.

And aemond of course the bloodthirsty psychopath who was described as fierce from birth and called his half sister a whore after learning of their father's death, whose also a true genocidal that put the likes of Ramsay into shame has been turned into a poor meow meow who didn't mean it. As for rhaenyra, her whole personality was revamped, her bad actions erased and she was given a righteous purpose *vomiting* in the form of a prophecy to make her daenerys reborn again. it is very convenient for the screenwriters that they can justify any change or stupid adaptational choice with "the book is green propaganda" or "the book is an untrustworthy historical account". Then why even adapt it if everything written is either false and made up or propaganda ? Say you want to make your own fanfiction instead of lying and saying that the show is the true version of the events. (Bitches want us to believe that Rhaenys made a girlboss entrance but the maesters never write that because of misogyny uknow)

In the end, I have to admit it's petty of me, I cannot enjoy this adaptation when the characters I disliked the most during my readings are glorified and the few I liked or find interesting at the very least are not exploited at all or given the worst interpretations

My only joy is that Daemon hasn't been whitewashed so that's a small win for me I guess?

I agree to a certain degree with all of your points. I think the biggest reason why this show fails is that it wanted to start the season with the GC 101 and end the season with the Black Council, all in just ten episodes... That was a godawful decision because the writers do have SOME (not all) good ideas but the execution of those ideas is straight up garbage because we only have 10 episodes which is just too little time. This is the biggest problem with HOTD and it annoys me to no end. The character relationships are so beyond shallow all because we’ve had so little time with them before the war starts. They are hardcarried by the fans’ interpretations of said characters & relationships and not by the writers’ actual writing. The season should have ended with Aemond's eye getting slashed out because that was THE moment of sides being drawn and the first moment of betrayal in the cold war being waged between Alicent and Rhaenyra, but noooooo of course we couldn't have had the Greens being wronged being the cliffhanger of the first season bc they're not allowed to be the victims 🙄🙄🙄🙄

#anti hotd #hotd #anonymous #answered

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moonshadowed · 2 years

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20TH / 21ST CENTURY VERSE.

Are you one of my mutuals from one of my other blogs that got suckered into following this one despite knowing nothing about sci-fi interested in interacting but not sure if you’d want to do a sci-fi au? Do you want to throw our characters into new and different situations?

Then look no further than this masterlist, detailing what each character does in a 20th / 21st century verse under the cut!

cws for: mentions of ableism, racism, sexism, the Holocaust / Nazis / antisemitism, an antiquated derogatory term, a drug reference, and parental death. Please stay safe!

JEAN-LUC PICARD.

An archaeology professor (who also dabbles in classics, history, and anthropology, as archaeology often doesn’t have its own department and he does have a wide breadth of interests), who is also in charge of a local / community theatre troupe, The Players Enterprise. This troupe is populated largely by his ex-students and his friends turned found family (in other words, the 20th / 21st century au Enterprise crew). He serves as director, stage manager, and, on occasion, actor! As he doesn’t have the stress or trauma of command, he’s more at peace and more inclined to laugh and smile more, joke more freely / be a little sillier, and his kindness and warmth would be even more evident, as would his love for the troupe and his students.

WILL RIKER.

In the forest service / forestry somehow no matter the verse (think anything from a tree surgeon to a gardener / landscaper to a lumberjack to a park ranger / forestry manager, basically anything outside and outdoorsy) who moonlights as a jazz musician (which is his true love). He works local gigs at restaurants / taverns / bars and concerts, and met Picard through taking his classes (and other classes at the college he works for). Has been his “Number One” right hand at the theatre troupe (and one of his favorite actors) ever since! Like Picard, he’s also more lighthearted and feels more free to joke around, and is quite well-liked in the local community.

GEORDI LAFORGE.

Another ex-student of Picard’s, after graduation Geordi went into education and became a teacher (most likely early education, but he could and does work with a wide variety of kids). He also enjoys building model ships, helping with props for the theatre troupe (as well as turning his hand to acting), tinkering with electronics and machinery, and is legally blind and low-sighted. In his twentieth century verse in particular he is a fierce advocate for disability rights, especially when it comes to access to education and equal opportunities. He had to fight for what he acheived (being a blind teacher isn’t easy) and is boundlessly kind and welcoming, and won’t let anything stop him or get him down.

BENJAMIN SISKO.

Chef and proprietor of Sisko’s Creole Kitchen, the family business, Ben also coaches community baseball (Little League, a few more casual teams. and helps out with the community’s minor league team). He’s also a keen piano player and a skilled singer. He is also single father to his son, Jake, an aspiring writer who plays on his baseball team. His restaurant staff and regulars often overlap with the regulars at the local bar (which forms the 20th / 21st century au DS9 crew), and he loves them all dearly, and he takes in anybody who needs a hot meal and a place to sleep.

JADZIA DAX.

A graduate student at the local university and an aspiring astrophysicist, Jadzia has many interests. She loves music, enjoying playing with Benjamin and having a fondness for lost and obscure composers, has a talent for wrestling, gambling, and magic tricks, and enjoys gymnastics as much as puzzles. As they are in a male-dominated field, they’ve had to overcome a lot to get to where they are, but she possesses a maturity and a grace beyond her years so that not much gets her down.

KIRA NERYS.

Kira comes from a Jewish family in a Nazi-occupied country during World War II (most likely Poland, but debatably France, Slovakia, or the Soviet Union) who took part in the Jewish Resistence. Depending on the time period of the verse in question, she either fought in the Resistence alongside her family, or she was born after her family fled the country and escaped to their new home. She has a revolutionary spirit and is skilled in many forms of fighting, and is fiercely protective and radically proud of her heritage. She has no patience for intolerance or bigotry, and is a rebel and an activist. She is intimidating, especially at first, having learned to bite first, but she loves fully and wholly.

JULIAN BASHIR.

A young doctor fresh out of medical school, Julian is kindhearted, gentle, and enormously intelligent, if a bit unorthodox in his methodology and his treatment ideas (some have drawn the comparison between either a mad scientist or Doctor Frankenstein, and Julian takes these as compliments). He is naive, awkward, and boyish in some ways, but when it comes to his work there is no one better, and he is fiercely brash and stubborn when it comes to the wellbeing and safety of his patients and friends. He has faced a lot of racism and intolerance, particularly in the 20th century au where he is sometimes known by the epithet “the darkie doctor,” but he will continue practicing medicine for as long as possible.

MILES O’BRIEN.

Working in IT as a repair technician, Miles has done a number of odd jobs over his life and enjoys tinkering with both electronics and mechanics. Or rather, he says he enjoys it, even though you wouldn’t guess it by how often he winds up tearing his hair out over his assignments (and / or his clients). He loves his life with his wife, Keiko, and little girl, Molly, and is deeply devoted to the rest of the regulars at both SIsko’s Creole Kitchen, the local bar scene, and the Players Enterprise (he’s their resident techie, primarily in charge of lights, sound, and prop production and management), even if it took a while to truly bond with them and find his place there.

CHRIS PIKE.

Originally from Mojave, Chris lives in Bearcreek, Montana, a tiny town near Billings, where he runs a working ranch, teaching horseback riding and sustiainable agriculture. He especially loves connecting with local schools to teach about animal husbandry and gardening, and he runs a farm-to-table style restaurant in one of his barns (he, of course, cooks everything and sources everything locally). He’s a fan of the pig races, and for a long time things go smoothly. However, he ultimately meets with an accident that leaves him wheelchair-bound. However, he doesn’t give up his dream; instead, he doubles down on it. advocating for disability rights and education.

LUKE SKYWALKER.

Luke is a small town boy who never really left home. He took over his family farm with his sister, Leia, from their father, Anakin, who has been chronically ill for a long time though is slowly (but surely) recovering. Even so, Anakin can’t really work the land anymore, so in order to help with the farm work, and with everyday chores around the house, Luke and his father have built two droids, C-3PO and R2-D2. Luke has aspirations of getting off the farm someday, though, and supporting his family and seeing the world by being a pilot. Similarly, Leia wants to instill real reform by becoming a politician or some kind of local government official (she probably ends up mayor or a representative someday).

HAN SOLO.

The Skywalker family farm didn’t really need a farmhand, but they certainly weren’t going to turn Han away. Scruffy, rakish, and ever-so-slightly lazy, Han teaches the twins how to repair a lot of the busted-up old farm machinery and is particularly gifted at fixing cars (mainly because his old van keeps breaking down, it’s a miracle the thing is still on the road and it’s certainly not entirely legal), and when there’s a handyman job to do, Han’s usually the one to do it, as he did several odd handyman jobs, including doorknob repair, before he somehow wound up on the Skywalker’s farm. He says it’s just a job, that he couldn’t care less about what happened to the Skywalkers, but he’s beginning to feel like part of the family whether he likes it or not (it also doesn’t help that he has his eyes set on one of the twins). He also may or may not grow and sell weed on the farm, but that’s another story.

ADDITIONAL.

DAVID MARCUS is an ambitious, daring, and stubborn doctoral student working on dual science and engineering degrees

WESLEY CRUSHER helps out with the Players Enterpirse and takes classes at the university as a high schooler for college credit. His father, a professor and a dear friend of Picard’s, died when Wesley was very young, and he’s been raised by Beverly and the rest of the Players Enterprise for as long as he can remember

LYRINDA HALK is an adventure guide who works at or near the same place Will does, taking people on all kinds of thrilling expeditions and excursions

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coolishcorvidcryptid · 5 years

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Wearing your pride flag as a cape.. pretty good

#even better with a gf #lgbtqa #pride #pride was fun #i acheived a gay form #my true form #queer

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lunartearrose · 2 years

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Envisioning goggles finding tartar's barely living ai carcass instead of marina

He just smiles as it rambles like a madman - default expression all the way - and it asks why its plan, how its plan could have failed, how it lost to goggles of all idiots.

"Dunno. Maybe it's because i have friends. Maybe it's because i didn't kill thousands of people. Maybe it's because i didn't plan to kill thousands more - people with best friends, families, lives. Didn't your humans have all that?" Goggles says.

Tartar thinks - and maybe thinks for a moment he has made a grave error in calculations. Maybe. Regret or no, he needs a place out of weather. "Perhaps you can give me a closer look."

Goggles is still smiling. He leans over tartar a bit more.

"My friends mean the world to me. Headphones, bobble, specs, rider, hachi and the rest... and you wanted to kill all of them."

He puts a foot on the tartar box. It creaks slightly under pressure.

"You put hachi in the hospital. You put rider in the hospital. He can barely see right now, and the docs don't know if his sight will come back."

More pressure. The box is breaking more, crunching down like a soda can.

"Turf war means the world to him. You have no idea what you're talking about when you call it stupid. "

Gears and circuitry start to pop as tartar pleads for goggles to stop. That it'll do anything.

"Anything?" Goggles asked, and paused for a second.

Tartar stammers out, "riches. Turf prizes, anything, I'm sure it is acheivable with my resources-"

"How about a cure for sanitization? Bring back all the octarians you zombied." Goggles says.

"That's impossible- there must be something else you-"

Crack. Goggles brings his foot down hard on the box, breaking it open. Fizzling sanitizer ink leaks out, too weak to form any attacks, too weak to do anything but dry out in the sun.

"That's what I thought you'd say. Either way, i think you deserve to have your dreams crushed - just like theirs were. Okay?" Goggles grinned, dragging his foot in the dirt, smearing that sanitizer and sparking circuitry into the ground. His expression and tone remained sickeningly sweet - he refused to let this box get any joy from his pain.

And of course, just to be thorough, goggles grabs a nice big rock, and continues to kick around and gut tartar's machinery, taking his time crushing the villain to dust. He talked over the robotic screams.

"I don't care if you say it's impossible, either - I'm gonna look for a cure. It's not fair to them, to suffer for something you did. Maybe some sun will help! I mean, your sludge dries so quickly in the heat. Maybe I'll bring rai and hachi to the beach! Maybe marie's special charger ink could fix em. Anything’s possible."

And once the circuits are crushed, and slime is all dried, With no more sounds coming out of anything, Goggles picks up the empty phone box shell.

"As for you... you're the biggest idiot I've ever met, thinking I'd take a killing stranger home. I'm glad you're gone." Goggles said.

A ways away, he hears the call of the other agents, plus off the hook looking for him. He kicks some dirt and leaves over the remains, and trots over to give Marina the remains of the phone box.

"The heck were you doin' out here alone, anyway?" Pearl asked him.

"Just trying to feel better. This whole mission was really stressful..." goggles answered.

Marie glances between him and marina, who was studying bits of the box excitedly. "Did it help?" She asked.

Goggles shrugged. "A bit. But i think food will help better!"

Anyways just sayin' goggles should be allowed to have feelings and also vengeful bastard moments. He should be able to have a Shadow goggles moment or two, a bit of the true self exists in the false self etc. Etc.

#coroika #goggles kun #splatoon manga #goggles coroika #imagine #splatoon #splatoon2 #octo expansion #commander tartar #コロイカ #スプラトゥーン2

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potsandpans12 · 3 years

Text

Broken Dolls and Exceptions

Tw: Abandoment, breif mentions of violence, abusive relationships

An: This is my first fanfic on here and I hope yalls enjoy :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scaramouche felt it. There was a sudden tension in the air as he entered the room. Ei stood there, eyes narrowed in a judgmental fashion. Ei moved towards him, Scaramouche instinctively tensing up at her felt her hand graze his cheek before turning her attention to his hair.

It was long. Nearly the same length as Ei's. The same shade of purple too. Every single bit of Scaramouche was created in the image of her. From his eyes to his hands, everything resembled her. He was her puppet, her vessel. Scaramouche was a tool, a stepping stool in Ei's pursuit to eternity. He seemed to be the perfect puppet. With him as her vessel, she could acheive true eternity.

Something Ei had overlooked. Scaramouche was a sentient being. He could think and feel for himself. His emotions were completely disconnected from her own. He was like a young child discovering the world for the first time. Scaramouche had his own mind, his own wants and desires. He could not be controled by Ei. He was an exception. And exceptions were the enemy of eternity.

Ei looked down at the man. He looked so small, so weak. Ei knew he could never fufill her wishes. And she knew Scaramouche knew that. Ei placed her finger underneath Scaramouche's chin, lifting his face so she could look him in the eyes. And what she saw there frightened her.

Ei saw something dark in his eyes. A sort of emptiness that started to fill with something. A feeling similar to hatred. Pure hatred. The feeling was all too familiar to her.

Pity washed over her face as she quickly turned her back on the man, no, child. Scaramouche was molded into the form of a man, yet inside he was still a child. A sad and angry boy. A boy who was being abandoned by the only one who brought him purpose. Ei.

Ei felt something twist inside her gut. A feeling of anger faced towards herself. She was like a mother to him. Tossing him out, killing him, it was equivalent to a mother killing her own child. Her own flesh and blood. Scaramouche did not choose to be created. Ei chose for him.

So Ei would give him a choice.

Ei turned around. Facing Scaramouche, her creation. He was an exception to Eternity yet he was one that she could not leave to die. At least not by her own choice.

"Scaramouche," Ei spoke. Her words were commanding but something lingered in those words. Scaramouche could hear it in the way her voice faltered. "You are a defect, something I would normally cast aside," Ei stated, looking down, "But today I leave you with a choice."

Scaramouche for the first time looked up willingly. Scaramouche had watched as Ei had crushed everything in her path, not caring for the lives she must take. No mercy had ever been shown. So why him?

Scaramouche bawled his fist so hard his knuckles turned white. It felt insulting. How dare she think him to be so weak. How dare she, out of all the lives she took, spare his pathetic one. He wasn't useless, he could prove that. He would show her how powerful he really was. Oh how she will rue the day she ever made the choice to take pity on him.

"So Scaramouche, what will it be? Will you choose to live on? Or do you wish to die by my blade?"

#Scaramouche #genshin angst #genshin impact fanfiction #raiden baal #Puppet Scara #fanfic #Angst

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regular-samdragon · 4 years

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I have acheived my true form

#this is what happens when i forget to take my ADD meds two days in a row #ninjago #morro #ninjago morro #pencil sketch

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raeseddon · 4 years

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Why Being The Parent of a Disabled Child isn’t an Identity: A Discussion

( Trigger warning for mention of abusive relationships )

A note to all the parents of disabled or neurodivergent kids, from an Adult disabled child.

For the sake of you, your child, and your relationship with that child: Having a disabled child is not an identity.

[[readmore]]

I know it can feel like it, because it's all media and society focuses on when they see you out and about with your child. Pretty much all protrayals of parents in media who find out they have a disabled child cease to be people-- they are henceforth Parents of a Child With [Insert Disability/Neurodivergence Here.] And it's deceptive because at first, finding supoprt communities of other parents with the same problems feels like Mana From Heaven. But please, watch how other parents in your support communities change as their children grow, especially when the disability/neurodivergence is managed to a point where the child can join "normal" society. If you see a parent panicking, or freaking out in a way that seems over the top, (especially when reports of how the kid is doing are positive) be careful. You might be watching the beginning spiral of a parent who no longer knows how to be anything but a caregiver. And that parent needs help.

Also, if you start to feel the urge to panic, or worry, or start inventing senarios were you are back to being a carer after your Adult disabled child leaves the proverbial roost, find someone, preferably a professional, to speak to. Because the alternative is that you become someone who infantilzes your Adult disabled child in order to hold on to a piece of your identity that--in a perfect world-- would never have rooted itself in you the way it has.

I should say something about my own experiences just so you don't think I'm talking out of my ass-- at six or eight months old my parents noticed I was only reaching for things with one arm. They took me to a neurologist who diagnosed me right-hemipsheratic cerebral palsy. As soon as I was old enough, I was in physical therapy. At five years old, I had my first ever seizure, at which point I was diagnosed with epilepsy, which has a high co-morbidity rate with CP. I came from a pretty traditional middle class (back when there really was a middle class) family where my father worked full time and my mom worked seasonally as a tax-preparer. My mom was the one who took up the bulk of the responsibility as carer, making sure I got to OT/PT, speech therapy, the works. I had no idea how much of her personal identity she put into her role as carer until the marriage disolved and her various issues lead to me spending more and more time with dad, intitially as a survival strategy (emotionally/mentally speaking) and then because I enjoyed his company, even if it meant getting to know him as a person at an age where most kids rely on dads for driving lessons and other... dad stuff. It wasn't always easy, but again, it was a survival strategy first and foremost.

It became apparent very quickly that not only did mom think I was "picking sides" but that she was furious with me because I didn't understand all of her (very real and unfortunatelt necessary) personal sacrifices so that I had the physical quality of life that I did. I was too young and hormonal at the time to realize that she A) should have never have had to make those sacrifices, and B) the blow they dealt to her personal identity would leave lasting and horrific scars on both of us.

Because when society looks at a parent of a child with disabilities, and a disabled child, they don't see two distinct people: they see a Walking Disability, and a Selfless Marytr, who willingly gave up every part of themselves to give that Walking Disability a "chance" at a "normal life."

I've known and talked to a ton of disabled adults and their parents over the years, and there are a few things that run like a universal thread throughout:

Just because a truly loving parent would choose a million times to give their entire life and identity up to care for the child, doesn't mean they want to, or should have to. If I could go back in time and provide my mother with a way to take some of the burden off of herself so that she could continue to grow along with me as a person, I would. Whether it would mean making it so that dad didn't have to work as much so that they could actually split the emotional and physical load, or some other way, I'd do it in a heartbeat. We, as a society need to stop looking at parents who are forced to subvert everything about themselves: their interests, their hobbies, their education, and their growth as a person, so that their disabled children have a fair shot, as aspirational. Parents are people, and they deserve the social support to continue being people, despite also having disabled children.

The inability of parents and carers to divorce themselves from their roles as carers damages the child's self esteem and overall ability to imagine a future of even limited independence. Speaking from both personal experience and having a disabled and neurodivergent friend group who have all admited to similar experiences. I was able to move away from living with my mom at nineteen, almost right after I graduated high school, to living with dad who was much more willing to encourage any form of independence he could. The encouragement wasn't always realistic in some ways, but when it worked, it worked, and I clung to that independence literally as long as a physically could.

If a marriage was rocky or straight up unhealthy before the birth of the disabled child 'staying together for the kid(s)' always makes things worse. There are the one in a few billion times when having the child actually forced the parents to work their shit out, but most of the time, it's a recipie for decades of misery and emotional (and physical) trauma for everyone involved. This is especially true if a degree of independence is acheived by the child that means they can live away from home. Once the child is gone, everything about the marriage/relationship that didn't work comes rushing back--and unfortunately, by then, the parents are so used to being miserable together, that being miserable apart is even more terrifying. As someone who came to realize as an adult that long before my parents divorced, the cracks were there and there were "near misses" it makes me wish they'd divorced when I was much younger. Of course, the reality is that parents who have disabled children are more likely to stay in unhappy at least or absusive at worst relationships because without shared income, caring for the disabled child would be impossible. It's a no-win situation.

Finally, circling back to my first point: Even when abuse isn't present and the marriage is healthy, the most well meaning parent may find themselves infantilizing their Adult child because once that child is gone, they will have lost a major pillar of their identity. There are times this comes close to feeling like a universal experience, it's so common. "Cutting the apron strings" can be scary even when both parents know its for the best, but the problems usually start with making harmless comments about how they'll "always be there" for the child, and if left unchecked the comments could become passive aggressive, and finally downright attempts to guilt the Adult child into staying.

This is why it's so, so important to observe your own behavior, as well as the behavior of other parents in support communities, and keep an eye on the ones who try to inject anxiety into the experiences and milestones that edge your Adult child towards the best degree of independence they can acheive. A lot of the time it'll lead with "Well aren't you worried that [insert bad experience here] will happen?" Which is why it's vital to be able to tell when an anxiety is your own or when it's someone elses. A good way to do this is to just have regular, open communication with your kid. Express your worries, talk them out, and allow your kid to make assurances, even if it's in the form of "I have a friend group/support network that I can go to before I will need to go back to you with a problem." Make it clear in the support communities that these communications are happening with your kid, and if people still try to drag you into worrying that whatever reassurances that have been given "won't be enough"... flag that person as someone who is probably having a problem with the idea of their kid acheiving independence. Every parent starts at a different place when it comes to the idea of a disabled or neurodivergent kid acheiving some form of independence, but there are ways to avoid almost all of the major issues that end up poisoning the relationships between parents and their adult disabled kids.

#disability #disability issues #tw:abuse

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